#cptsd nightmare

[mycptsdstory]

I had the worst nightmare imaginable and I haven't had it since I was 18. It was about the band and the singer I fell in love with (not now, I'm 31 now and I moved on since then).

But like, all those old feelings came up.

Abandonment, isolated, betrayal, hurt, crushed, suicidal.

It's horrible.

Basically the dream was that everyone blamed me for the band splitting up and I ended up killing myself. No one cared enough to look for me, so my body was just in the forest and that was it. I was a lost ghost and no one cared that I went missing. Then I woke up.

I haven't felt like that in such a long time.

I meant to go to my art course, but that nightmare threw me off. I haven't left my bed in an hour. I hate myself because I love going, but I have no energy to go. I have so much work to do. I'm definitely gonna put in the work on Wednesday and do my work then.

It's just AAAHHHHH. I hate my CPTSD some days. I want to go and do my work but I have no fucking energy after that fucking nightmare. Wtf. I just want to function like normal for once. I feel like I let everyone down. Fuck me. I hate myself.

Tbh, I don't want to hear from the band or that life ever again. I don't want to hear "I'm sorry" or "can we talk". No and fuck off. The damage has already been done.

#cptsd #cptsd nightmare #c ptsd #nightmare #cptsdhealing #living with cptsd #cptsd vent #cptsd problems #cptsd thoughts #actually cptsd #just cptsd things #tw cptsd #actually ptsd #cptsd tag

[furiousgoldfish]

I love how I will wake up from a nightmare and then not be able to move much from the bed that day. Really adds a level of helplessness and panic in this 'struggle for survival' type life.

#nightmares #cptsd #ptsd #i had one last night #now i'm unsure if i can even go to job tomorrow #today its bed all day #it's painful to even sit down #and type this #ugh #chronic pain

[bpdohwhatajoy]

Having to sleep knowing you’re just going to have another nightmare

#ptsd #cptsd #trauma #I think I avoid sleep partly bc of this #not only do I have insomnia and bad sleep issues #but I have ptsd and I have nightmares SO often #I dread sleeping

[mentalhealththingz]

#c-ptsd #cptsd tag #dank memes #memes #mental health memes #mental health #trauma meme #dream #trauma dreams #trauma #ptsd dreams #stress dreams #nightmare

[brennan-lee-mother]

normal way to figure out how big someone's house is

#hey alex what is average fanfic authors search history #that and 'what causes nightmares' #and 'cptsd symptoms' #fabian my poor darling boy #fhjy #fantasy high #dimension 20 #mera speaks #d20 #fh #fantasy high junior year #fabian aramais seacaster #fabian seacaster #mera writes

[coffeexxcigarettes]

Forsaken

-

If my voice breaks

When explaining,

You do not push to hear more.

I fall back into silence,

The heaviness pressing against my chest.

The irregular beat of my heart

A reminder of failure.

So many untold stories

Die beyond my lips.

They wreak havoc on my insides,

Consume what remains of me,

Change me into a shell of who I use to be-

"Goodnight." You yawn.

Goodnight.

I smile.

And slip out of bed..

To struggle to breathe in the silence

Alone.

x

#writing #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #poem #spilled thoughts #heartbreak #original poem #sad thoughts #spilled writing #spilled poetry #living with cptsd #nightmares #poets of tumblr #poetsandwriters #prose #prose poetry #poems #my poetry #poetry #dark poetry #dark academia #i'm sick #don't feel well #tired #poems about feelings #poems about pain #original writing #my writing #writers #writers on tumblr

[whump-on-a-string]

Whumpee waking up absolutely drenched in sweat after having a string of nightmares based on their abuse.

Even though it's been a couple of years since everything had happened. Even though they know the dreams aren't real. But in their sleep they feel so much like recalling specific locked away memories of things they'd been through that they'd forgotten. Despite knowing they weren't actual memories of specific events and their mind has cruelly decided to make their subconscious experience new but similar events. Despite the source of the nightmares no longer being able to hurt them.

Confused, shaking and distressed in bed having woken up way earlier than they were meant to.

(MEGA Bonus points if whumpee has someone there to comfort them.)

#its me im whumpee today #whump #nightmares #text #Original #actually cptsd #please use my actual IRL experience this morning for creative pursuits #if i can't make my trauma into content or useful info for writers then WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING BEEN THROUGH IT? #vent #this partly counts as venting #I say it's MY turn to self comfort with hurt/comfort fiction #trauma

[neuroticboyfriend]

sometimes, when it comes to past trauma, what hurts the most is that the past is gone. you may less feel like the past is following you into the present, and more like you belong in the past - like you're stuck there, or the world is leaving you behind. as if you're an anachronism in your own life. as if you don't truly exist, and your life ended when the past trauma ended. you feel like a ghost.

people think you "just won't let go of the past," but the past has become you. so they don't understand. but i do. you're not alone. and i hope, someday, we can be present. and safe. and happy.

#i realized this after crying in one of my dreams where im back in special education school #every time i have a nightmare where im back in a traumatic place im the age i am now #and its the present. as if id never left that place #so i cried to my friends there because i was so much older than everyone #and id keep thinking about my friends in school or the people i wanted to be friends with #expecting them to be in school with me #only to realize they'd moved on. they went to college. they live far away. theyre gone #and im still stuck in the past #so yea #ptsd #cptsd #complex ptsd #post traumatic stress disorder #c-ptsd #c ptsd #trauma #traumatized #trauma survivor #trauma victim #mental health #disabled #disability #chronic illness #mental illness #mentally ill #chronically ill

[spookietrex]

Me: I have trauma and get angry for what may seem irrational at times. I react with high sensitivity and cannot always control my meltdowns and my reactions. Sometimes I will replay trauma themes, including themes of abuse.

Them: All trauma is valid.

Me: *starts showing trauma symptoms, including being angry all the time, flashbacks, suicidal ideation, and severe chronic pain*

Them: You're making it up just to get attention. Stop being a bitch.

#cptsd problems #cptsd #cptsd meme #tw cptsd #cptsd recovery #actually cptsd #living with cptsd #just cptsd things #cptsd vent #c ptsd #ptsd #complex ptsd #ptsd recovery #actually ptsd #ptsd nightmares #complex post traumatic stress disorder #trauma therapy #post traumatic stress disorder #traumatized #trauma #trauma coping #trauma core #my spoons are running low #actually spoonie #low spoons #spoon theory #angry cripple #disabled #invisible disability #disabilities

[mycptsdstory]

I just had a dream where my family killed my fiancé, so I killed them instead. I legit hunted down every family member that thought murdering my fiancé was a "good idea" and "surely, she will go back to the family". Boy, were they wrong.

I hope this doesn't happen in real life. Now I can't sleep.

#dream #nightmare #cptsd nightmare #cptsdhealing #living with cptsd #cptsd vent #cptsd problems #cptsd thoughts #actually cptsd #just cptsd things #tw cptsd #actually ptsd #cptsd tag #cptsd #c ptsd

[stormofdefiance]

2.2 spoilers //

He finally texted me back and I’m on my knees. Like I might actually cry - he wants to live 😭😭 ffffuck. HAPPY about being alive, FUCK - I can’t believe he just said that with his fingers aaaHHHHH. He’s worrying about being a bother but also actually SHOWING he’s insecure about it oh my god lay me down in the tall grass

#2.2 spoilers #Aventurine #HSR #my witterings #I cant express fully how much this means to me #he mentioned he’s still having nightmares as well so it’s not like his cptsd is just magically cured #but wanting to live #still struggling with anxiety and loneliness and still entrenched and entangled with the past #but still able to experience that fragile sliver of happiness that comes with the simple fact he’s alive 🥹😭 #I’m gonna throw up #I can’t tell you how meaningful it’s been to just appreciate being a living thing #something so fundamental and simple and small #fuck and it’s what rat wanted for him too 😭 #staying alive for his own sake #and only for the sake of living #no value prescribed to it #it’s okay to just be your messy fucked up self auahagghhhhhhhhh #idk so many people with cptsd never get to this point #its a diagnosis with not a super high rate of favourable outcomes #and representation of the suffering that comes with ir means a lot to me but also the hard won difficult joy and appreciation and recovery #is so so so so wonderful to see #I’ll have much more articulate thoughts about it later right now I’m just #so so happy

[tryingtogetaway]

I love not feeling afraid. I love being able to linger.

Brandon Sanderson, Yumi and the Nightmare Painter

#hopecore #let it linger #brandon sanderson #yumi and the nightmare painter #healing #healing quotes #july quotes #poetry #writings #musings #coping #coping mechanism #childhood trauma #living with cptsd #cptsd thoughts #cptsd recovery #cptsdhealing #toxic shame #recovery #year of sanderson

[bpdohwhatajoy]

Anyone else have symbolic ptsd dreams more than literal depictions of your past trauma

#ryan.txt #cptsd #ptsd #trauma #traumatized #I think people who don’t know ptsd or see it as a monolith describe it like that #and I just recently realized that when my ptsd flares up #I have symbolic nightmare stress dreams #that usually involve me being attacked or in very present danger #hence the symbolism part #I used to not understand that symptom and I think honestly the criteria is written by people that don’t have ptsd #bc there is no way everyone’s ptsd dreams are the stereotypical way its described #I’m sure some do #but like I said most of mine are symbolic #and I realize now I feel in dream emotionally the way I felt when the trauma was occuring #helpless in danger under attack threats

[poisonedm1nd]

Sleep is either for the weak or for a week. It likes to mix it up but there is no in between

#insomnia #hypersomnia #dysregulated sleep #no sleep #circadian rhythm #apparently my body hasnt heard of it #nightmare #cptsd problems #cptsd memes #cptsd life #actuallymentallyill #actually cptsd #actuallybipolar #systemtag #actuallydissociative #poisonedmind

[thebunnitwins]

Trauma squad knows what its like

#mental health #trauma #mental illness #nightmare disorder #ptsd #cptsd #dark humor #meme #mental health meme #flash back #panic attack #panic disorder #depression #anxiety #trauma therapy #cptsd meme #ptsd meme #trauma survivor #trauma squad #dbt therapy

[bipolarmango]

One thing no one told me about c-PTSD is that when you start digging all the old things up, it's not just traditional nightmares that come. It's violent drems where the ones who hurt you and those you, even silently, team up against you, and you're being the violent one. The one who breaks people's arms and kicks them in the stomach, breaks their phones when they try to call for help, terrorize the whole family/other group, the one who is so violent there's blood and police and unimaginable rage.

It's horrible how trauma comes out, especially when, in real life, you're not a violent person at all and are strongly against physical or emotional violence.

#actually mentally ill #just cptsd things #cptsd problems #cptsd #living with cptsd #cptsd recovery #cptsd vent #actually cptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsd treatment #ptsd recovery #complex ptsd #ptsd #actually ptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder #post traumatic stress disorder #nightmares