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mochamamii · 3 years

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yandere!taeyong: no secrets.

▹ a/n : hello loves, I chose a really shitty title for this but whatever loll this is something I wrote in like a day, sometimes I write absolute filth for no reason, this is one of those times.

▹ triggers : yandere!au, detailed smut, unprotected sex + creampie, mirror sex, daddy kink but like not super heavy tho

▹ pairing : lee taeyong x chubbyfem!reader

▹ synopsis : keeping secrets from your yandere boyfriend probably isn’t the best idea...unlesss they’re lee taeyong (even then that’s risky bizness my friend.)

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Taeyong sighed as he stared down at the text message on his phone, his grip on the steering wheel tightening until his knuckles turned white. He peered out the window of his car to glance across the street once more, staring at your apartment building.

He was parked across the street, his car parked far enough away that you wouldn’t be able to recognize his car from someone else’s.

Taeyong was immediately reminded of the lit cigarette he had in his other hand when the unflicked ash fell, slightly singeing the patch of skin on his leg where his ripped skinny jeans had left him exposed. He cursed under his breath, rolling the window down just enough to toss the still lit bud on the ground.

He was so distracted by you, more specifically, the blatant lie he had just caught you in that he completely forgot about his surroundings for a moment, causing him to let the cigarette burn almost entirely without ever flicking the ash.

You see, you and Taeyong have been dating for just a few months now. You were in that weird limbo stage where you were transitioning from casual dating to exclusivity. At least for you that’s how it was.

Taeyong had already moved past that stage months ago. He was serious about you, he was just being courteous by allowing you time to feel the same. But he was steadily growing impatient with you and all your sudden antics.

Things were going perfectly fine in the beginning. You were perfect, every bit of innocence and naivety that Taeyong wanted. You checked off all the boxes for him. And he didn’t need you to tell him that you felt the same way. Which is why it was pissing him off that you seemed to suddenly start pulling away from him slowly.

You’d begun acting strange. Avoiding him lately, whereas before you always obediently jumped at the chance to spend time with him. You also had refused to be intimate with him for a few weeks now, which wouldn’t have been a problem on it’s own. Taeyong was patient when it came to things like that and he was willing to go slow.

But in this instance Taeyong felt he had a right to be upset. Even in the few short months you’d been dating, Taeyong had managed to turn you into a full on nympho. Molding you into his perfect little sex kitten, ready to do whatever he wanted and whenever. What changed?

All of these things, amongst others, have led Taeyong to conclude that you obviously must be seeing another man. What else could it be? Things were going so well and then you suddenly changed up without any explanation.

And most recently Taeyong had caught you red handed in a lie.

He texted you earlier in the day to ask if he could come and see you. You replied back saying you had been at work. An obvious lie because Taeyong had been parked outside your house since last night, watching your front door to see if he could catch anyone coming in or out. He felt bad for stalking you, especially since he vowed to himself that he would try to be less invasive this time around.

He really liked you and didn’t want to scare you off.

So he left, giving up after nearly four hours of watching your house and not seeing anything out of the ordinary. He had only come back this afternoon in hopes that he might catch you on your lunch break. You worked nearby and it wasn’t uncommon for you to come home during this time.

He got excited when he pulled up to see your car parked out front already, the need to see you face to face building inside him. He hadn’t seen you in nearly a week, you claimed you were swamped with work and that’s why you didn’t have much time to spend with him like you normally did. Taeyong could tell you were lying to him, he had to stop himself from marching up to your apartment right then and there confronting you about your lies.

But he wanted to be sure. He needed concrete proof that he was right about what had been going on with you.

So he texted you a second time, asking if you had decided to come home for lunch today. He had seen you upstairs in your bedroom window, moving around, he knew you were home. If you texted him back with a different response he could confirm you were lying to him.

Unsurprisingly enough, you replied back, saying you were still at work and would probably be working late tonight.

He scoffed as he reread your message. Rolling his eyes in annoyance as he peered up at your bedroom window, straining his eyes to try and see what you were doing exactly.

Taeyong stayed put in the car for a while, trying to decide what the best course of action would be. He wanted to just march up there to you but he didn’t know what he’d even say.

Quite frankly, Taeyong was a little embarrassed. He wished he didn’t feel so affected by you. If it were any other girl he’d have dropped them a long time ago, deciding they weren’t worth the trouble.

But this was you we were talking about...His precious baby girl, the girl who he was actively trying to change for. He had been pegged as the crazy, overbearing, sometimes even violent boyfriend by nearly all of his ex’s.

They weren’t wrong actually. Taeyong was all of those things. But he was trying to suppress that kind of behavior just for you. He wanted you to want him too, he didn’t want to feel like he was trapping you into a relationship with him. Things were so different with you.

As angry and as hurt Taeyong was because of you lying to him, he still couldn’t bring himself to actually be angry with you. He was upset about the situation, but not at you. Honestly, once he saw you in person he wasn’t sure if he’d want to raise his voice and yell at you, or bury his head between your thick thighs.

God...it had been so long since he was inside you.

Only a week actually, but even that was too long for Taeyong.

Not wanting to sit and wrestle with his thoughts any longer Taeyong climbed out of the car. He jogged up the front steps to your door, trying to measure his breathing as he did so. He almost raised his hand to knock until he remembered you always kept a spare under a nearby potted plant.

He had to check under a few before he picked up the right one.

With your spare key now in hand, Taeyong could slip through the front door quietly. Even though during his stakeouts he never saw anyone go in or out of the house he still wondered if there was a chance you were being unfaithful. If not that, what else could it be?

Whatever it was, he was going to confront you about it today. No longer would he be left in the dark like this.

He unlocked the door, slipping in as quiet as a mouse. He pushed the door closed behind him, gently as not to alert you, wherever you were in the house. He kicked his shoes off at the door, knowing he’d be much quieter with sock clad feet instead of the heavy boots he had on previously.

Taeyong’s ears perked up as he heard you drop something on the floor upstairs. Considering the part of the ceiling he heard the noise from he guessed you were in the bathroom upstairs. Taeyong’s feet carried him up the stairs to your bedroom, the door was left open ajar already.

Carefully, he peeked through the crack to ensure you weren’t in the bedroom, even through the tiny space in the doorway Taeyong could see your figure standing in the bathroom connected to your bedroom. He pushed the door open enough to slip inside.

Taeyong stood under the arch of the doorway to your bathroom, watching you with curious eyes, your back was facing him so you were still unaware of his presence behind you, he could see you were struggling to open something.

Taeyong was about to speak up and announce himself to you until he took quick note of how your frustration turned to panic as you furiously twisted and pulled at the cap of…a pill bottle?

Now Taeyong was really curious.

With one last heave you released a large puff of air as the cap twisted off the bottle, Taeyong quickly sprung into action, taking two long strides across the expanse of the bedroom to get to where you stood in the bathroom.

He was too late though and you had already swallowed one of whatever those pills were.

“Taeyong?” You jumped, startled as Taeyong snatched one of your wrists to spin you around to face him.

Your cheeks turned red as you tried to inconspicuously hide your other hand that still held the bottle of pills behind your back.

“Give it.” Is all Taeyong said, his grip on your wrist tightening.

You shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, whenever Taeyong spoke in that demanding tone of his you’d always instantly obey and comply with whatever it was he wanted, not wanting to piss him off further.

But this time…this time you just couldn’t. You were too embarrassed, your hand felt frozen in place behind your back.

Growling, Taeyong spun you around and pushed you against the bathroom counter, pinning your arm behind your back as he retrieved the bottle of pills for himself.

You nearly toppled over because of his quick movements catching you so off guard. His firm hold on your arm pinned behind your back, catapulted you into the bathroom counter, your breasts plopping against the cool marble countertop.

Taeyong squinted his eyes to read the tiny print on the bottle, “What are these?” He asked, unfamiliar with the name of the pills.

You glanced up at him in the mirror, his jaw clenching as he tried to decipher what the long complicated name printed on the bottle meant.

It was as if you’d forgotten how to speak. Everything had happened so quickly and your mind was still taking a minute to process it all.

You had spent months trying to keep this one secret hidden from Taeyong. You went to any lengths possible if it meant protecting your secret. Even lying to him when necessary, which had become pretty frequent as of late.

All of it was catching up with you now.

Today would probably mark the end of your relationship, you were sure of it, there’s no way Taeyong would even be able to stomach the sight of you once he knows the truth. He’d probably think you were pathetic, too pathetic to be his girlfriend.

And you just couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye as your tower of lies came crashing down around you.

Your head fell, hanging shamefully as you tried to ignore Taeyong’s burning gaze.

Taeyong was growing impatient with you, wanting answers and wanting them now. His fingers tangled themselves in your hair, gripping your roots not so gently as he pulled your head back to force you to stare straight ahead, so you were looking directly at him in the mirror.

Your back arched instinctively as you stretched your body out to follow his hand, wincing slightly in pain as you did so.

“Tae…what are you doing here?-

You were cut off by Taeyong slamming his hips into your backside, pinning your own hips firmly against the counter as he trapped you under his weight. His hand in your hair moved to wrap around your throat from behind.

“I’m growing impatient with you Y/N. Tell me now and stop avoiding the question.” Taeyong said

“Tell me.”

Your eyes were slightly red, a little teary as you nervously glanced up at him once before parting your lips to speak.

Your eyes searched his black ones for approval, it’s like you were silently asking him without saying it,

Will you still want me after this?

Taeyong only softened temporarily as he took note of your reluctance, he used his free hand to rub small circles on your back to soothe you.

“T-They’re…appetite suppressants.” You answered shamefully.

Taeyong’s grip on you loosened as he listened.

“Appetite Suppressants?” He echoed, glancing down at the bottle and back at you.

Taeyong felt foolish and annoyed. You had been so secretive and sneaky lately, he was sure it was because you had another man in your life, not diet pills?

Taeyong screwed the cap of the bottle off with ease, dumping the rest of the pills down the toilet.

You had to swallow an audible groan. You had paid good money for those pills. They weren’t cheap over the counter pills, you had gone to your doctor to have them prescribe something stronger for you. Watching the pills be carelessly flushed down the toilet made you wince internally.

“You don’t need these. Stop taking them.” Taeyong demanded as he placed the empty bottle down on the counter.

“Understand?” He asked you, displeased with your lack of response.

“But…Taeyong. I need those.” You breathed softly, slowly raising up from the sink to turn around and face him.

“I need them Taeyong. I can’t just give them up, not yet, not till I’m-

“Why not?” He questioned.

Fat, ugly tears started to roll down your cheeks as you swallowed the lump in your throat, “I’m still not perfect enough for you yet.” You whispered softly.

It was hard to say it out loud but it was true. You constantly felt like a tub of lard next to Taeyong. You didn’t want to feel that way anymore. You wanted to walk beside him with pride. You couldn’t do that. Not yet at least. Not with your current body.

Taeyong really didn’t like that you were fighting him on this. You were so naturally submissive, always going out of your way to avoid conflict with people especially Taeyong, he could say almost anything and you would listen and obey to whatever he wanted or expected from you.

Mostly because it was just in your nature to be more on the submissive side, but also because you felt like you were incredibly lucky to have someone like Taeyong, who were you to be making demands?

Even when there were times that you disagreed on something and wanted to vocalize your opinion, Taeyong would whisper in your ear how much he loved you and how you just needed to let go and trust him.

Usually it worked too.

But Taeyong was in no mood to be that gentle with you, not that it would matter anyways. This is the one thing you know that you will always fight him on.

Your body.

Taeyong never entertained any conversations with you when it came to your weight and feeling insecure about your body. He waved them off as you being “silly” or something like that.

It wasn’t that Taeyong didn’t care. It’s just that he’s a yandere and has never known how to process any of his feelings in a relatively healthy way.

It’s easier for him to ignore the issue rather than confront it. He’s afraid he won’t know how to make you feel better. He doesn’t know how he can make you see the beauty that he sees.

“Don’t make me the reason that you’re desecrating your body this way.” Taeyong hissed, landing a harsh slap against your ass cheek for emphasis.

You yelped, already feeling the numb burning sensation spread across your afflicted skin.

Taeyong grabbed hold of your hair again, raising the top half of your body off the counter until your back was pressed flush up against his chest. He snaked one arm around your waist, locking you in place against him whilst the other remained tangled in your hair.

Your head fell back against his shoulder as you followed his hand to escape the painful friction at your roots.

You fell into place so naturally against Taeyong, your bodies molding together so perfectly.

Taeyong loved the way your body was so soft and squishy, he loved your thick full curves, your deliciously plump body is what had initially attracted him to you.

How could you possibly think that something already so perfect needed to be changed?

Taeyong pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, moving to nibble at your sensitive earlobe, “Darling. What’s it gonna take, hm?”

“What’s it gonna take to get you to stop obsessing over this?” Taeyong asked, his free hand beginning to roam your body.

“To stop…saying all these mean things about yourself?” Taeyong’s voice trailed as his hand slid down the length of your abdomen, his long slender fingers gliding across all of your rolls and stretch marks.

All you had on was an oversized t-shirt, Taeyong’s to be exact. One that he’d left over here before.

Seeing you in his clothes sent waves of electricity directly to the head of his cock, making him harden. He wanted you to wear his clothes all of the time, he wanted his smell to linger on your skin, letting everyone know you were his.

As much as he loved seeing you in his shirt he couldn’t wait to rip it off you.

Especially now with the way your hard nipples were poking through the thin cotton material, practically begging him to turn you around and assault them with his teeth and tongue.

He couldn’t wait.

He was going to do every dirty, lewd thing imaginable to you tonight. No part of your body would be left untouched once he was done.

He needed you to know that you’re beautiful. He had to show you just how in love with you and your body that he was. He didn’t know how to translate those feelings into words, just action.

Taeyong released his hold on your hair to be able to use both of his hands as he groped and fondled your body.

His hands moved up to your breasts, cupping them in his warm large hands through your shirt.

He kneaded them, moving to tug at your nipples through the fabric to make you mewl.

“Do you feel that baby?” Taeyong asked as he rolled his hips into your backside, his cock standing at full attention now, allowing you to easily feel his erection through his jeans.

“Do you see how badly I want you? Look at how hard I am and I’ve barely touched you.” Taeyong said , groaning as he rocked his hips against you once more. Loving the feeling of your round backside rubbing up against his cock. You were wet already and growing impatient with Taeyong’s teasing. Your clit throbbed painfully, desperately needing attention. You rutted your backside back against Taeyong, begging him to take you already.

Taeyong raised one of your legs up to rest on top of the counter, giving him perfect access to your pussy.

His shirt on you wasn’t long enough to cover the full expanse of your ass so as your leg raised up on the counter, your glistening folds were revealed to him.

“Do you think you deserve to cum? After all you’ve done, all the sneaking around and the hiding? Do you really think I should give you any relief?” Taeyong teased as he used his fingers to slide up and down your slick slit, collecting your juices on his fingers.

“Please…” You begged with a pout, pushing back against him as you felt his fingers on you.

“Aht. Aht. No moving around or I’ll have to pin you against the counter like before.” He threatened as he stopped you from grinding your hips down against his fingers.

Feeling defeated you sighed, relaxing into his touch as you tried not to think about how badly you wanted to cum.

“Don’t look away from the mirror or I’ll stop.” Taeyong warned.

You nearly turned your head away momentarily to peek at what he was doing but decided against it at the last second.

Taeyong knelt down until he was level with your pussy. His warm breath fanned your skin sending shivers down your spine.

Taeyong’s soft wet tongue licked a single stripe along your slit, stopping at your clit to give it a single kiss before enclosing his soft lips around your bundle of nerves.

Your mouth dropped open as a moan fell past your lips.

Taeyong’s tongue worked quickly, alternating between lapping at your folds and sucking on your engorged clit.

You gripped the edge of the counter for support. You wanted to pull away from him when the pleasure became too intense but he smacked your ass whenever you moved so much as an inch away.

He released your clit from his mouth with an audible popping sound as he did so. Standing back up at his full height Taeyong took pleasure in seeing the way your eyes followed him in the mirror, eagerly waiting for his next move.

Taeyong unbuckled his belt and tugged his jeans down just enough, his cock bouncing up and slapping his abdomen as he released it from the confines of his briefs. A bead of precum was leaking from his head. Taeyong teased you by rubbing the head of his cock against your folds.

“Do you want to come? Wanna come as I pound this perfect pussy of yours with my cock? I don’t think you deserve it. You’ve been a bad kitten lately haven’t you? Sneaking around, hiding things from me, saying awful things about yourself, and making me worry…” Taeyong said, resting his chin against your shoulder as he met your gaze in the mirror.

“I’m sorry…” You whimpered, grinding your ass back against him.

“Are you really though?” Taeyong asked, his eyes narrowing at you.

“Yes. I’m so sorry.” You whined, growing desperate for release.

“Are you ever going to do something like this again, kitten?” He asked, slipping his hands under your shirt to roll your nipples in between his fingers.

“I won’t. I swear.”

Taeyong smirked, loving the sound of desperation in your voice.

“Do you promise? Tell daddy you promise to never do this again and he’ll give you what you want okay?”

He didn’t have to tell you twice before you were repeating over and over like a mantra, “I promise I’ll never do it again, daddy.” You fluttered your lashes at him in the mirror, hoping he’d sense your sincerity.

That was all Taeyong needed to see before backing up and sinking his cock deep into your pussy.

He groaned as your walls hungrily sucked him in, greedily accepting every inch of him.

You arched your back, raising your ass even higher in the air for him.

Taeyong was relentless in how he fucked you. His nails painfully dug into the flesh on your soft hips as he held onto them for support whilst he pounded you from behind.

“Do you hear how wet you are? This pussy is practically milking my cock.” Taeyong moaned, his eyes never leaving yours in the mirror.

He was right. You were so wet, the obscene squelching noises your pussy was making around his cock bounced off the four walls of the bathroom.

“Taeyong…” You moaned.

He moved one hand off your hip to rest against your hand that was lying on the counter, he grabbed your hand to lace your fingers together.

“That’s right baby. Look at yourself, look at how well you’re taking my cock…such a good girl for me, my beautiful good girl.”

You could’ve come right then and there just because of how dirty the words coming from Taeyong’s mouth were.

You felt warm and happy as he praised you, calling you a good girl for taking him so well.

Taeyong continued drilling into you, never losing the rhythm he had set or the speed he was going at. He kept repeating in your ear over and over how pretty you looked and how beautiful you were.

Usually compliments like that went in one ear and out the other, you never liked to dwell on them for long because you just didn’t believe them.

But now…right here, right now. Watching yourself in the mirror as Taeyong fucked you, the faces you were making, and the way your body instinctively rolled and grinded back against him.

Even you couldn’t deny the beauty of the scene before you.

You could see him in the mirror, watching as his hands gripped and groped at your flesh, his desire and want for you evident on his face, evident in the manner at which he was thrusting deep inside you as if his life depended on it.

Thrusting with a desperation that matched yours, you needed this, to feel him inside of you, filling and stretching your walls with a subtle sweet pain.

“Taeyong, I’m gonna come.” You warned, feeling yourself clench around him.

The essence of your shared arousal started to drip down your thigh.

“Then come for me.” Taeyong answered, reaching his hand around your waist to rub your clit, propelling you further into your state of euphoria.

You rocked your hips back against him, chasing after your own orgasm.

You moved to throw your head back and rest it on his shoulder but Taeyong was quick to push your head forward, reminding you with a slap on your ass to not look away from the mirror.

“I want you to watch as you come on my cock.” Taeyong growled, determination clear in his voice as he unsheathed his cock completely from your warmth only to slam his hips back into yours.

You squealed as Taeyong angled his thrusts upward to hit your g-spot. Your eyes welled with tears, and your hand gripped the edge of the counter as you braced yourself.

It only took Taeyong a few more strokes before you were clenching around him uncontrollably, your pussy creaming on his cock. You collapsed on the counter, too tired to hold yourself up anymore. You winced a little as Taeyong continued to drill into you, the pleasure turning into a slight burn as he overstimulated you.

You wiggled your hips, trying to bring your hiked up leg down from the counter whilst also inching away from Taeyong’s thrusts.

“Stay still.” Taeyong grunted, pinching your outer thigh.

Taeyong abused your poor cunt until he was ready to fill you with his seed. He made sure he was stuffed deep inside of you when he painted your walls with his cum.

Once the two of you had caught a minute to catch your breath, Taeyong carefully pulled out of you, making a mess between your thighs as he did so. Your empty pussy was now clenching on air, inadvertently pushing Taeyong’s cum out of your hole causing it to run down your inner thighs.

Taeyong leaned down to kiss the back of your neck, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you came down from your high.

Finally, Taeyong pushed himself off of you to allow you to rise up from the counter. He turned you around to face him so he could properly kiss you on the lips.

“Wait, where are you going?” Taeyong asked as you kissed him before untangling your limbs from his.

“To shower?” You answered, one hand already on the nozzle of the tap to turn the shower on.

You were a sweaty, sticky mess, in desperate need of a nice long shower.

Taeyong smirked, pulling you back into his chest, “We’re still not done here.”

Your face must’ve said it all because before you got the chance to whine about being tired Taeyong was already pressing you up against the wall.

“Spread your legs again. Nice and wide for me...Daddy’s going to make sure you get all clean again…”

#nct x reader #nct taeyong #nct smut #nct smut reactions #nct yandere smut #nct yandere #yandere smut #yandere nct #chubby reader #chubby smut #chubby!reader #lee taeyong #lee taeyong smut #taeyong smut #yandere taeyong

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

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Razor: Jealous HCs

Hey anon!! As much frustration I hold for crippling oblivious couples, I also love the trope so much. Plus I adore Razor. Even though I try to not call Razor a dog, I still google “jealous dog traits”. Also, I found out both Hanniejji and I secretly HCs Bennet is friends with Razor and Fischl. If genshin won’t give me character interactions then I’ll write it myself.

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Semi Part 1: General HCs

Semi Part 2: Pre-Relationship HCs

Semi Part 3: Cuddle HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @ aanne2601 @hanniejji

Razor: Jealous HCs

Bennet and Fischl are both foaming at the mouth at how deeply in love you BOTH are and yet you’re both equally blind. Fischl wants to grab you by the shoulders and yell at you that Razor returns your feelings and you need to stop doing whatever it is you’re doing. A sad Razor looks like a kicked puppy and even she can’t handle it. But Razor absolutely refuses for anyone to confess for him because he believes that you might just genuinely be uninterested in him. Plus, it wouldn’t feel right if he couldn’t confess himself. It’s his first love, this is important to him.

Bennet thinks it’s really sweet that his friend is in love. Even if he does get a bit pouty that whenever he get’s hurt, Razor will ask if he’s alright and leave it at that. But if you accidently trip Razor is already at your side and fussing over you. Bennet uses this as physical proof that yes, your feelings are returned and this man is in love with you, but you always brush it off as Razor’s nature to be caring. He’s smiling patiently on the outside but on the inside he has his hands in his hair and he’s screaming.

God forbid anything upsets you. Razor hasn’t been around other humans long enough to pick up on most social cues but he does have a good sense of smell. If you’re happy then the wind smells like sweet flowers. If you’re upset then it smells like mint. While Razor usually keeps himself in check and is somewhat indifferent, the second he catches any signs of distress from you he’s on high alert. Until you tell him what’s been bothering you - a group of hilichurls stole your bag of snapdragon flowers - he’s going to be on guard and stressed out. He’s already throwing his claymore over his shoulder to go and fight the monsters that tried to upset you. Wow, what a good friend you say to Fischl. Fischl is ready to punt you off a cliff.

Razor tries his best to show that he likes you by bringing the things you need and looking like such a proud pup. He looks at you with such hopeful eyes that it takes you a second to register what he’s asking before you feel your own heart rate speed up and pound into your ears. You flush pink before you move to embrace him and ruffle his hair as praise as he nuzzles into your shoulder affectionally. You assume his affectious actions are apart of his wolf nature and how they act so you try not to read too deep into things. Even if Razor seems a bit too happy to be hugging you and receiving pets. Or the fact he doesn’t let anyone else pet him...

Bennet tries his best to help his friend out by giving Razor some advice but considering Bennet himself hasn’t been in a relationship yet, it’s all practical. Telling Razor that he’s seen couples bring each other flowers as a sign of affection, maybe Razor could find some plants to bring you? It ends horribly when he offers you a wolfhook and you just stare at him. He says that these are his feelings towards you but you’re just...so confused?? Wolfhooks have thorns so does that mean he thinks you’re clingy? Isn’t that a bad thing? Are you annoying to him?? But wolfhooks also symbolize wolves so is he saying you’re like family to him??? You’re internally screaming while debating if you just got family-zoned or if Razor is trying to subtly tell you that he doesn’t like you.

Just because Razor is, somehow, unsure if you actually like him or not. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get incredibly jealous and possessive at any unknown presence. He’s still a bit wary of the City due to all the conflicting smells and noises but he can’t help but look so sad when you have to run errands and you can’t visit him. But when you mention that a really nice knight gifted you a flower does Razor see red. He gave you a flower?? Shouldn’t you be happy with his? Why do you need another one when you have his? Is his gift not good enough? Is this your way of saying you’re interested in someone else? This poor boy is on the verge of either running off to go sulk or find the man that gave you this flower, which up until his knowledge - courtesy of Bennet - is a sign of courting, and absolutely destroy him to prove he’s the better partner.

He tries to keep it under wraps since he's been told that while in the City, he needs to exercise restrain and understand that if he enters. He's expected to at least respect the laws and people. But this poor wolf is so feral over this new development and this new smell that's been clinging onto you that whatever worries and isolation issues Razor felt about the city flies out the window as his protective instincts kick into overdrive. He sees other people and even pets as a rival for your attention and love. He just wants to scoop you up and growl at everything as a message to say “this is mine, go get your own”.

Even when the both of you are far away from the city, Razor’s continued mood seems to hang heavy over both your heads. You’re not sure what exactly caused Razor to be on high alert. He’s snapping and growling at everything little thing that comes close, even a butterfly!

You abruptly stop walking to Razor’s surprise as you whip around and frown at him. He can feel a chill run up his spine as he stands perfectly straight as you study him before you hold your palm out and looked at him expectantly. He looks at your hand with a small spark of perked attention before his nose twitches and he goes back to sulking. You’re still waiting for him as he shuffles a bit, his hair that resembled a wolf ear is twitching, before he whines and trots over and places his chin on your palm. He’s looking up at you with the most kicked puppy expression and you don’t even know what you did but you feel like the worse person in all of Teyvat.

“Razor...what’s gotten into you?” you ask gently as you rub circles into his cheek as he nuzzles into your palm. He seems really conflicted as his eyes dart away from your face and he almost looks guilty. He just whines and turns and buries his face into your warm palm. You’ve never really seen him like that before as you awkwardly try and comfort him. Until the same flower slips out of your pocket and you hear something primal growl out of Razor. His teeth are pulled back and he snarls at the flower as his pupils dilate. You quickly get between him and the poor flower before Razor tries to do anything.

“Seriously Razor, what’s gotten into you?” you asked concerned. He quickly shifts his attention to you as he pounces and knocks you over. You left off a soft noise as the wind get’s knocked out of you but you peep when his hands cage you from above. Razor’s red eyes bore into yours and you’re suddenly thinking the air is getting too hot.

“Do you like Razor?” he asks, tilting his head in a cute pout. It makes you internally coo before you quickly snap out of it. Stay focused!

“Of course I do! Remember we talked about this?” you say as you remember back to your previous interactions but this only seems to frustrate Razor more.

“No. Not that like. More...” Razor struggles with his words as he tries to piece together the right string of sounds to try and convey what he’s feeling. He seems so conflicted that it breaks your heart a bit. So you reach up and gently rub behind his ear as he closes his eyes and relaxes. He breathes in deeply as his eyes open and his pupils return to normal, but vastly determined.

“Together. Always. Just...us,” Razor says softly as he looks at you hopefully. There’s a small pink dust to his cheeks as his fang digs into his lip in nervousness. You’re not sure why but your heart absolutely sky rockets at it and you can feel your face flush pink.

“Um, yes?” you nod along, you think you’re understanding what he’s trying to say. Maybe he was just upset you were spending so much time in the City and away from him that he felt your friendship was neglected? That would make you really upset. But the way he phrases his words makes you believe that perhaps...

Before you can think more on it. Razor’s face breaks into a grin that nearly blinds you from the pure affection that sprouts from it. He’s already hugging you harder as he starts rubbing his nose and cheek against your neck. Making soft and happy sounds as he nuzzles you. He’s never done that before but you assume he’s just so happy. You breath a sigh of relief that it appears that your message to him was clear enough.

Yeah of course, friends always, you think

Lupical. Partner. Mate, Razor thinks.

---

whistling as I pretend I don’t see your stares. Yeah ik but it’s ok. This is a sorta semi series. We’ll build upon it. But Xiao content is next lol. I’m taking inspiration from this. I mean, when I don’t feel like shit 😷

I’ve been listening to [ Softy - Dear Moon ]. This isn’t the usual kind of music I listen to but it came on shuffle and this is now my mental breakdown song.

Quick edit: Turns out this is an ost from “My Mister”. I’ve never been into kdramas (I think I’ve only seen goblin, she was pretty, and Hwarang) but the cover picture looks so upsetting? My friend is really into tgcf and I believe that had a live action as well.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin razor #genshin impact razor #genshin razor x reader #genshin impact razor x reader #razor x reader #razor #razor x aether #razor x lumine #razor headcanons

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taechaos · 3 years

Text

Silent Treatment

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you.

warnings: slight angst, drugs, arguing, dubcon, cunnilingus, mild degredation

word count: 4.2k

tags: @mwitsmejk @1-in-abillion @kooookie

a/n: the request (contains some spoilers). i'm gonna take a very short break from this couple to write other requests!! hope u enjoy 💗

The shift in the Spring weather is unpredictable. One moment it’s chilly, and the other sunny. Humans can only adapt so much, and it causes an outbreak of common colds. Most people recover easily, handy medicine soothing their sore throats, syrups suppressing coughs, and nose sprays ridding the blockage. You, on the other hand, are not that lucky. With a weak immune system, you’re very careful to not get sick, but there must have been a slip-up because you’ve somehow lost your voice after catching a cold.

You sniffle and cough, but you can’t speak. It’s advised to not exert your vocal cords in cases like these, and that is just so unfortunate for you. The last thing you’d ever want to do is spread your sickness to Jungkook, and that meant not getting too close to him; it meant no kissing.

A very large white placard is spread out in front of you on the wooden table, and you’re plastering printed images of a specific global issue on it. You’re sitting on a bench with two of your friends as they chatter mindlessly while you work. Jungkook has a project about climate change due in a few days, and it’s supposed to be very important for his final grade. You’ve already written him a script for his presentation along with a stick prop to point at specific pictures. It’s fun, glittery and he’s going to love it.

“Hey,” Minnie, your friend, calls for you, “we’re going to get some coffee from Starbucks. Want us to get you green tea?”

Soyeon laughs when your eyes light up; it’s your favorite beverage, and it’s supposed to help with your sore throat. They leave with a smile after you give them a hyper nod and you’re alone as you adjust your woolen scarf around your neck. You need to heal as fast as you can so you’re no longer missing your beloved’s affection.

Jungkook has been feeling more inclined to approach you without reason lately, but that doesn’t mean it’s a common occurrence. Getting teased by his friend, specifically Taehyung, about having a sissy crush on a girl like yourself angered him to no end. A hit always got him to shut up, but not for long. He’s walking your way today because there’s no one around to judge him for talking to you.

You’re tearing a double-sided tape when he sits on your table, carefully avoiding your materials. Your breath hitches as his eyes gloss over your work in progress. “Working hard, I see,” he comments with disinterest. He doesn’t say anything about your efforts, but he’s impressed. The corner of his lip tugs upwards before he leans in for a kiss. You have enough self-control and concern for his well-being over your desires to lean back before your lips make contact. His face is close to yours as he pauses and slightly frowns before trying again. He receives the same results and finally pulls back.

“You did well,” he frowns at you and speaks as if you’re a child, “I’m praising you.” Your eyes are darting back and forth awkwardly and you don’t know what to do other than sit in silence. You put your hands on his knees as a resort and his frown deepens as he watches you. “I can take a hint, you know. You don’t have to fucking ignore me.” He roughly shoves your hands and stands up before storming off with a scoff. You’re torn between following him and being responsible over your belongings. You can’t let his grades go to waste because of a small misunderstanding, so you decide to text him instead. There’s always a possibility someone might steal his project. Or maybe after he’s cooled off? You delay the message, but somewhere in your heart, you’re satisfied by his reaction because it’s clear that he wanted to kiss you.

Heavy footsteps clomp against the sidewalk before Jungkook slumps on the seat next to Taehyung. It’s an isolated area for smoking students at the back of the campus, and his friend group is no exception to this role. They’re taking drags of cigarettes individually as Jungkook glares at his boots. They’re chunky and a bold black, and his dark outfit paints him as the big bad wolf. It fits, because he’s ready to attack when he’s filled with so much resentment. Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you. It doesn’t make sense, but you also grimaced at him, but then why were you doing his homework? He’s feeling frustrated, and upset all the same.

“Someone’s troubled,” Seokjin points out with a mouthful of smoke. “Kookie?”

Said boy only grunts in response.

“Did the lousy girl finally see you for who you really are and leave you?” Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to mock him with a pout. “Tragic.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tae,” Jungkook spits and sends him a death glare, fire flaming in his fierce eyes. “Go actually talk to a girl or something, and leave me alone. I can’t take your shit right now.”

The low blow doesn’t affect Taehyung in the slightest as he holds up his hands in defence with comically wide eyes. “Relax, tiger.”

“Moving on from Tae’s inability to talk to girls in broad daylight, what’s up with you Kook?” Namjoon butts in, earning a fake cough from the receiving end of the insult.

He pauses for a moment before babbling, “I hate those bitches. My mother for one, couldn’t stand wearing clothes whenever she saw a dude. Moving on from guy to guy, unless they’re a fucking asshole. What do they want? Why are they never fucking satisfied?!”

A moment of silence passes among the huddled friends before Yoongi breaks it with a joke, “Who’s the lucky girl?” It doesn’t land as Jungkook deeply sighs in response. “Did she cheat on you?” he tries again.

“No,” he murmurs.

“Then…?”

“She… I don’t fucking know, she gave me the silent treatment. She leaned away from me too,” he shakes his head with a quiet groan, “it just doesn’t add up. I got mad and left.”

“No way that could’ve ended up badly,” Taehyung chuckles but purses his lips when he’s sent another dirty look. “How long was the interaction anyway?”

“Like 30 seconds.”

“Are you coming out tonight?” Yoongi asks and puts out the burning tip of his stick. “Could help you feel better.”

“And we’ve got molly,” Namjoon adds.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Alcohol’s effect on a person differs in moods, and Jungkook is usually a horny drunk. Being a sad drunk is a first for him tonight, but he’s just so confused. It made his heart drop when you outwardly refused his advances and anxiety blossomed in his chest, which he has no idea how to deal with. It kicked in fight or flight instincts, and he just… hated the idea of you not loving him, even if it’s momentary. He can’t bear staying in a situation that makes him feel so insecure, and that feeling is supposed to be left in his childhood. You just about brought out the worst in him without doing anything.

You didn’t do anything.

It’s 10PM and he’s waiting on your usual good night text that he never responds to. It’s so pathetic, and he hates himself for being so used to your affection that it worries him when he’s deprived of it. He’s never doubted your love for him, but his insecurities are churning his gut. It’s an overflow of all of his pent-up emotions, and he can’t handle it.

“Here,” Taehyung pops in out of nowhere, clutching a pill in his hand. There’s a bottle of water in the other as he holds them out for Jungkook to take. “Stop moping and get laid.”

“I’d say the same to you, but you’d probably start crying during sex,” he mumbles and uncaps the bottle before throwing in the pill and washing it down with the water. “Thanks.”

“See that girl over there?” he ignores him and steps behind his miserable friend to point at the owner of the sultry gaze directed at Jungkook from the bar. “She wants to fuck you. Or maybe me, but I’m passing her onto you.”

“How kind of you,” he sarcastically replies.

“Uh-uh, so you’re gonna be in ecstasy in about 10 minutes. Don’t fuck this up.” He slaps his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. It’s a lonesome party because not a lot of people are allowed in when drugs are involved. Causing a ruckus, receiving a noise complaint and then getting arrested is out of the question.

He isn’t interested in sex with a stranger - not today at least -, but he hopes for it to change as he waits to approach her. Maybe drugs will rile him up enough to have fun with someone else and rid his mind of you. It’s an annoying itch on his brain, so he rests his head against the couch to comfort himself with the soft fabric. He’s sleepy from the beer he drank earlier, and he doesn’t know how time goes by so fast when he closes his eyes.

A few minutes must have passed, because he’s starting to feel dizzy in his seat. A smile carves on his face as his mind grows slightly fogged, and he opens his eyes to find the girl quietly chatting with a friend. When she glances at him, he beckons her to come over. She mouths a “be right back” to her friend before strutting in his direction.

“Hey,” she smiles down at him before sitting on the couch. She’s aristocratic, chic and pretty. “Sorry if I weirded you out earlier.” Her voice is sweet like honey, and her words flow out of her tongue so naturally. A dream girl, really, and Jungkook is starting to get horny.

“I don’t mind,” he reassures with a subtle seductive tone, “what’s a girl like you doing with this crowd? You look too innocent.” He wraps a finger around a strand of her hair and twirls it. It feels strange.

“My friend sent me here, told me to watch over someone,” she lowly speaks. “I’m Soyeon.”

“Nice to meet you, Soyeon,” he breathes before crashing her lips with his. His hand reaches down to grip her thigh, tongue poking out to swipe the sticky gloss. It’s flavored, and it tastes of strawberry. When she kisses him back so slowly, innocently, it turns him on so much. His pants feel tight around his crotch as he runs another hand through her soft hair. Compared to him, she’s passionate whereas he’s sloppy. He’s starting to get dizzier, and it feels so fucking good, but he hates it.

There is not a single reason for him to not enjoy this, not when his mood is lifting so high. The hand on her thigh lands on her cleavage instead and she’s so submissive and shy, but something’s off. He groans into her mouth before biting her lip, ripping a whine out of her. Why does she sound so sexy and annoying?

He pulls away from her before sighing in irritation. “Fuck, I can’t do this.”

“Did I do something wrong?” she asks worriedly.

“No, just, fuck.” He starts laughing before rubbing his palms on his eyes, “I really want to fuck, but I just can’t.”

“We can just chat,” she softly suggests. “What’s your name?”

“Jungkook.”

He removes his hands from his face when she goes silent. Her eyes are wide and she’s gaping at him… guiltily? “Crap,” she hisses quietly, “I was supposed to make sure you were okay. My roommate is like, super in love with you and asked me to come here.”

He says your name in a question, wondering if it’s you. When she nods, he asks for your dorm instantly.

“She’s in room 124… Why?”

When he stands up, there’s a sway in his posture but he recovers quickly. There’s an involuntary grin on his face as he thanks her ignorantly. He’s out of the villa in a rush, and he has the overwhelming urge to just run. The campus is a bit far away from the house, but he doesn’t care as his footfalls echo in the dark streets. He has so much energy to waste, and with his current stamina, he’s confident he’ll find you before dawn. It’s stupid but it’s fun, and he doesn’t care for catching his breath as the corner stores pass by him in a blur.

Throughout the two hours of his reckless jog, where he mixed up directions multiple times, his mind is starting to clear up little by little. He’s happy because of what Soyeon told him, and he feels relieved upon seeing the familiar college building. He’s not allowed in dorms at this time, but he’s done this too many times to get caught. Except he was drunk in those instances, and being on MDMA was different. Sneaking past security was tough because he couldn’t bring himself to tiptoe without making so much noise. When they glanced at him, he thought it to be the only choice to just run past them. He’s in the elevator by the time they catch on, and the numbers look wonky in his eyes but he presses the button for the right floor.

He’s shifting his weight repeatedly in an attempt to contain his excitement; he wants to see you so bad. The moment he hears the ding of the elevator, he’s running past the halls and stops upon seeing 124. He has to squint, but he knows this is your dorm.

You wake up with a silent gasp when there’s a pound on the door. You clutch your sheets in fear until someone starts to sing your name. “Jungkook?” you mouth to yourself. You stand up and look through the peephole and there’s a man on the other side who’s bouncing on his feet impatiently.

“Open up,” he sings loudly. You’re worried when you swing the door open and yank him inside so he doesn’t wake up any other students. You try to talk but only a wheeze comes out, so you switch on the light to see him instead. The brightness hurts your eyes as you close them for a few seconds. “Well, well, well, look who we have here…”

He starts to circle around you slowly and stumbles behind you. “Sending people to spy on me after rejecting me like that.” His words are slightly slurred and you turn around to face him with a pout. You point at your throat to give him a hint, but his eyes don’t waver from your pleading ones. “What are your intentions, huh?” he weakly pushes you, “Sending me mixed signals. Who- who do you think you are?”

You hold his hands and place them on your neck, trying to communicate with him by mouthing, “I’m sick,” but he only chuckles. He seems sickeningly joyous, but he’s not over his anger. “Still not going to talk to me? What did I even do?”

You deeply inhale from your nose because he’s not paying attention to you. You’re frustrated with yourself until he yells, “WHY WON’T YOU TALK TO ME?” The surge of serotonin, his state of euphoria is crashing down on him the more you ignore him. He had believed the drug would only make him happy, but it intensified his sadness and anxiety just as much when he saw you. It helped him forget you in a social circle, but you confused him so much after he was reassured for so long - coupled with your silence, he’s raging.

“Why are you ignoring me?! What did I do that was so bad that you can’t bear talking to me anymore? You told me you loved me, please,” he chokes and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I’ll make it up to you, I’m so sad right now. Just say something…”

You’re watching him in shock and a hint of fear from his fluctuating mood. You want to cry at how pitiful he looks, but instead you aim to grab a piece of paper from your bedside table. He misreads your actions and pushes you against the wall. “Stop this. Stop!” He has your arms pinned and he’s trying so hard to intimidate you so you give in. A dry sob leaves you because he's going mad, but then he has a sudden epiphany. “Maybe you’ll love me again if I fuck you hard enough and engrave it in your brain that you’re mine. Yes, yes!”

He starts unbuckling his belt and you immediately try to stop him; he’ll get sick! He shoves you again and pulls down his jeans before mashing his mouth against yours. All of your efforts have gone to waste when his tongue forces its way down your throat. There’s no point to denying him now, so you hesitantly kiss him back. You’re so guilty, and he’s so careless as he roughly pushes his hand down your white cotton shorts. You’re wearing a navy blue sweater to match so you don’t get cold in the night, but the shorts are meant to prevent a fever. What’s the point now, then? He hasn’t even read your texts that you only remembered to send before sleeping. He missed a whole paragraph of your explanation and confronted you so angrily.

“I’m going to fuck you all night,” he growls against your lips, “then you’ll remember how much you love me.” Your moans are quiet and hitched as he presses down on your clit through your panties. His other hand is on his cock as he strokes it eagerly, ready to get inside you. “I missed you so fucking much in one day,” he whispers in a croak. Hearing it makes you feel even warmer inside as you nudge his hand to urge him to enter you. “You missed me too, huh?” he takes notice of your neediness. “Shouldn’t have fucking brought it upon yourself then.”

He removes his hand from your shorts and taps your thighs before demanding, “Jump.” You bite your lip in consideration until he taps them harder and you quickly wrap your legs around his waist. Your shorts are relatively short, resembling loose boxers, so when your back is pressed against the wall he only pushes them and your underwear to the side before thrusting into you. A scream gets caught in your throat, and you forget all about your aches as he roughly fucks into you without caring for protection or lube. It stings only slightly, but the pleasure in feeling so full of him outweighs the pain.

Jungkook is moaning and groaning as he bruises your thighs in his hold. Your panting is all he can catch, and though the feeling of you is an amplified sensation because of the drug coursing in his system, he wants to hear you chant his name as well. “Still quiet?” he tuts and carries you to your narrow bed and you cling onto his shoulder while trying to catch your breath after the sudden attack. “Your cunt is throbbing though,” he says as he pulls out of you and drops you on the bed. He manhandles you by flipping you on your stomach and holds up your ass. He finally takes off your bottom clothing, but he’s slightly dizzy as he yanks them off your ankles. He spreads your thighs apart and you’re on your knees with your head against the mattress. “I wonder why that is,” he says before slapping your pussy, making you whimper quietly. “So wet, yet you don’t even make a sound. Some whore you are.” You purse your lips and muster a whine, but it’s interrupted when he pistons his cock inside you without warning. Your sounds are hoarse as he pounds into you from the back, hands kneading your ass to the shape of his hands. He gives it a spank as he moans loudly; the new position makes it feel so much more intense, and Jungkook loves it. His ears finally get to hear your pathetic mewls as he thrusts so deeply inside you that your vision blurs with tears and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. You feel like a doll that can’t speak or move, and he’s evidently enjoying it going by his rushed pace. You’re challenging him with your silence, and he loves proving himself.

All of a sudden however, he stops moving. You look behind you with a pout and he quirks a brow at you. You grit your teeth because you know he's waiting for you to tell him to continue, or rather daring you to do something. A sudden surge of confidence overcomes you and you gently slam your hips against his, fucking yourself on his cock with your eyes screwed shut.

“Yes, baby,” he strains, “show me that you're still my good girl.” At his encouragement, you meet his thrusts faster and you're seeing stars at how amazing it feels. You want to be his good girl so bad, and you arch your back to savour the pleasure. “Your pussy is mine, all mine,” he affirms to himself and stills your hips to turn you around without removing his length. His fingers are digging into your flesh and your tits bounce under the fabric as he rams into you restlessly. Your mouth is open in a silent scream and he can barely make out your pupils, the whites of your eyes stirring his climax at how attractive you look under the poor lighting. “I love you so fucking much,” he cries, “say it back, baby.”

You try to, but you can only dryly cough. “You fucking bitch,” he hisses at your defiance and pulls out of you to pump his length. He’s close to his release, and he pushes up your sweater to see your hard nipples that make him salivate. He crawls to slide his cock between the valley of your breasts and it hurts when he harshly pushes them together. “Stick out your tongue,” he commands in a whisper, and you do so while panting like a dog. Every time he thrusts upwards, the tip of his head grazes your tongue and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He’s massaging your tits as he stutters between whines, and eventually his load spurts out to land on your chest and cheek with a particularly loud groan. His cum surges down his shaft as he rides out his high with the last slow thrusts.

“Oh fuck,” he sighs airily and collapses next to you in the tiny space available. You clumsily turn on your side to give him more room and he pecks your swollen lips. He zips his pants back up and you’re still naked from the waist down. You’re staring at each other adoringly in the romantic, fragile atmosphere; another first.

“I love you,” you croak finally. It’s quieter than a whisper, and it makes you cringe at how hideous you sound; it’s painful as well.

His face lights up once he registers your words before noticing the tone. “What happened to your voice?”

“Sick.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything more as you snuggle into his side and he instinctively wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Shit,” he murmurs, “why didn’t you tell me that sooner, idiot?”

You slap a hand on his front pocket where his phone is, and he hastily takes it out to see a bunch of notifications from you. “You sent it at night, you’re still the idiot.” You giggle and roll your eyes. “A promise is a promise, though,” he purrs before cupping your bare heat. “I did say I would fuck you all night.” You widen your eyes when his head lowers down to face your sopping wet cunt, and he slowly licks up a stripe over your soaked folds, making you shudder and grip his hair. He’s leaving kitty licks all over your sensitivity, the tip of his tongue lightly brushing against your clit every now and then. Your hips lift involuntarily, and he finally takes your clit in his mouth and sucks on it loudly. He slurps your arousal before spitting it back on your hood, and you can only squeak in response. Your hazed mind only tells you that you want more, and he doesn’t fail to provide.

Two fingers enter your clenching hole, and he’s scissoring your walls as he messily eats you out. The pleasure from earlier returns all too soon and you know you won’t be able to last long. His lids are hooded when you glance down at him and the way he’s looking at you makes it even harder to resist your orgasm. The knot in your stomach picks back up right before unraveling and your moan is raspy as you start twitching under his relentless mouth. He grows gentle and leaves kisses all over your vulva until your body falls limp on the sheets.

After another round of penetrative sex, the two of you fall asleep from exhaustion in your bed. It’s a first for the both of you, and Jungkook decides in his drunken mind that tonight won’t be the last. It feels so intimate when he cuddles you, and you won’t ever forget his love confession.

The next morning is not so pleasant however, as Jungkook wakes up with a loud sneeze and in his now nasal voice says, “God fucking damn it.”

#bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jjk smut #jungkook imagines #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios #bts fic #jungkook fic

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zelzenik · 3 years

Text

my take on the infamous kataang kisses

so i just saw this post that spoke highly of Kataang and on how ATLA deals w consent and what's allowed between partners, and i'm... i'm mad, lol.

this has been spoken on before, but since these bad takes are still floating around on the internet, i feel the need to at least vent/give some sort of rebuttal.

i'm not linking or screenshotting this post, but this is word-for-word what was said regarding Kataang (questionable grammar has been transposed as well):

"One of the many things I adore about atla is how the girls are allowed to and do tell their partners off when they cross a line.... Katara gets upset with Aang for kisses her without her consent, and it's never made out to be overly dramatic or unreasonable, it's framed so that the girls are in the right."

HOW does Kataang properly convey this message??

there's a lot to unpack here. like, a lot

just to start off, yes, i'm aware that not all Kataangers believe that the kisses were consensual and can recognize how problematic (and WRONG) they were. but there are some (many) who do not

for the sake of this rebuttal, we're all going to establish and agree on what happened with the Kataang kisses. personally, in the Cave of Two Lovers episode, i don't believe they kissed - if they had kissed, the creators would've made that known in the show; in the Day of the Black Sun episode, it was clear that Katara was NOT pleased w what went down, same with the Ember Island Players episode; the finale kiss was consensual, however, in my opinion, it made absolutely no sense and came out of nowhere.

this is an address to the following various shippers within the ATLA fandom.

to those who DEFEND Aang's actions toward Katara and JUSTIFY these non-consensual kisses:

don't DO this. these portrayals of murky non-con kisses on television are so harmful!! they perpetuate this whole "nice guy" complex where a guy (or anyone) thinks that he (or they) deserve(s) or can take physical affection from others without their consent/mutual feeling. we have such an awful problem in media concerning these sorts of "nice guys" who wind up taking advantage of women simply due to the fact that they know they're nice and feel that they deserve it.

yes, Aang was a child. yes, he was in an iceberg for like 100 years. i work with plenty of preteens from the ages 10-12, and they've all been taught to respect other people's boundaries, especially when it involves romantic (and depending on how old they are, sexual) encounters; it's worth noting that, at least from my experience, guys are significantly less interested in relationships around this age than girls are!

portraying Aang in a light where he simply takes what he wants from Katara multiple times does a disservice both to him as a character and to all who watched the show without having a clear outside understanding of physical boundaries.

to those who claim that the non-con Kataang kisses are good lessons to others on consent

i might have been able to agree with you had the situations been ADDRESSED within the show! but they were NOT.

the non-con Kataang kisses are not a good example of when a girl has been made uncomfortable by a guy or has been touched nonconsensually by one and stands up for herself because we never have a scene where Katara actually stands up for herself!

between the two non-con Kataang kisses that occurred during the show, not even FRACTION of the show was dedicated toward addressing them!

okay, yes, if you rewatch the show as an older teen or an adult with accurate views on consent, then, yes, those non-con kisses can be an example of how pervasive lack of consent is within our past/current culture

but, for the most part, this show is watched by kids. it's a kids' show. ofc it's grown to be much more beyond a kids' show, and there are so many teens/adults who LOVE the ATLA fandom, and that's totally cool! i'm always anti-harassment and anti-bullying-people-for-enjoying-shows-they-love.

for a show that's primarily marketed to children, though, regardless of the time that it was made in (since the 2000's were far less up to date on consent than we are now in the 2020's), if non-con kisses are included, then they should be addressed.

they can only be good lessons if they're addressed, instead of left hanging and teaching children that such non-con kisses are rewarded.

canonizing Kataang, in a way, validated Aang's blatant ignorance of Katara's boundaries which annoys me to no end.

to those who who say that this behavior was FINE because Kataang canonically dated/married

it's not! it's really freakin not!

do you know how many women experience some form of sexual harassment or assault or rape within their lifetime?? 1 in 6!

and do you know how often these women are unable to do anything about it because the person who attacked them is someone that they love or are involved with?

just because one may be in a relationship with another person doesn't simply excuse this type of behavior.

"no" or "i don't think this is a good idea" or "i'm not feeling this" or "maybe later?" or "i don't feel so good" or "we're in the middle of a war right now" or SILENCE -> NOT CONSENT!!

regardless of your relationship with another person, if they do not respect these boundaries, then they have not respected your damn boundaries.

i don't care if they're your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your husband or your wife or your partner. whatever. if they ignore your boundaries, then they are not respecting you, point blank.

closing

it's no secret that i'm a huge anti Kataanger. i first watched the show as a teenager, and while i initially started the show off loving Kataang, as soon as i hit the non-con kisses, i was immediately turned off from the ship and became a huge Zutara shipper (not even knowing which ship was ultimately endgame but especially loving the dynamic between ZK post-Crystal Catacombs scene).

as someone who's survived a relationship with non-con elements present, i cannot in good conscience ship Kataang because of those non-con kisses.

i love both Aang and Katara too much as characters to see them portrayed in such a way. what hurts the most is that all of these issues COULD have been fixed in the show, if there'd been some sort of reconciliation between Aang and Katara, some sort of encounter where Aang recognized that what he did was wrong and Katara learned that it's okay to say no. but this did not happen. so here i am writing a meta/rant/vent about it.

i understand that this post may not be well received, but this is something i really needed to get off my chest (again) because i hate seeing people praising ATLA for its poor examples of consent within relationships. (it literally drives me crazy.)

#nice guy #this isn't proofread #but #anti kataang #pro katara #anti anti aang #i love both aang and katara #and they were both done so dirty in b3 #i genuinely love both #i would've given kataang a chance had those non-con kisses not happened #despite shipping zutara #i would've j multishipped or smth #but w the way b3 turned out?#hell no #get that away from me #aang needed to grow the hell up and learn #katara needed to stand up for herself and recognize she needs a partner who's an equal #and they could've been that for each other #or #they could've found other people better suited for each other #cough zutara cough taang #but yeah stop praising bryke for giving good lessons on consent cuz all they did is perpetuate the mentality #by validating and rewarding non-con gestures thru kataang's canonity #long post #sorry #i could write abt why i'm anti kataang all day #despite loving them both so much #zel meta

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dragonsareourfuture · 3 years

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Death Note/GN! Reader — Mood Swings

As a person who has strange mood swings all the time or just feels down for no reason, I wanted to write about how the Death Note lovelies would handle a s/o with this issue. The following is mostly based off of my personal experience so I deeply apologize if it does not match your own experience.

Mello

During those times when you’re upset for no reason at all, he would automatically think it was something he did and has to fix it immediately. He’s confrontational enough to simply go up to you and ask you what’s wrong and what he did, but doesn’t quite understand when you tell him that nothing happened, you just feel that way.

He kinda thinks you’re lying just to spare his feelings and presses you more. This effectively puts you in more of a bad mood, making him think that there was in fact something wrong in the first place. All you can tell him is that “sometimes this just happens, it’s not rocket science!” In reference to your seemingly out of nowhere anger.

You thought he would understand more, seeing as he’s a pretty emotional person. As it turns out, his emotions are usually driven by something like an action or event so it’s a little hard for him to understand that you’re just down because that’s what your brain does sometimes, especially when he’s as insecure as he is and worries that it’s his fault.

You might have to separate yourself from him for a while and wait until you pep up a little bit so that you can properly explain what’s going on without being too snappy. When you both eventually calm down, you can sit him down and talk about what’s going on.

He understands after an explanation from you and apologizes for being so pushy and accusatory. He’ll do his best to accommodate for what your feeling but there will always be that part of him that still worries it’s his doing and you’re too nice to tell him that.

Matsuda

In short, he’s worried, confused, and anxious.

He thinks he did something wrong every time you’re moody and gets extremely confused whenever you suddenly seem to snap out of it and treat him how you normally would. He might try to cheer you up at first, but if that doesn’t work he stops immediately.

Eventually he approaches you about it, and when you explain that it’s just how your brain works sometimes, he is quite eased. You explain that you don’t want to or mean to treat him differently when you get like that but it’s hard for you to control. The more you explain, the more he understands and thinks about how hard dealing with that must be.

He’ll not so subtly write down notes when you tell him how you want to be treated and what your preference is that he do when you get in one of your moods. If you prefer he not bother you, then he’ll respect that, leaving notes with loving messages on them for you to find to make you feel at least a little bit better. After all, he doesn’t just want to stand by and do nothing at all. He’d feel useless if he did that.

If you want him to let you rant about things, then he again will do so happily. He won’t interrupt you, even if he desperately wants to say something. He’ll hold it back and wait until the end of your rant to ask if you want his input or if you want him to just hold you. He’ll gladly do either.

Matt

He’s dealt with Mello, so he thinks he can handle you.

When in reality, he has to adapt to your specific brand of moodiness. With you it’s more random. Sometimes Matt notices patterns with what happens right before you go into a funk. But other times, you just wake up that way. It’s strange, but nothing he can’t work with.

Mostly his tactic involves a bit of experimentation first. He’ll crack a few jokes to see how you react, and if you don’t laugh or at least smile he’ll know this is one of your more serious moods and leave you be until you seek him out.

He doesn’t really ask you what’s wrong. He knows what’s wrong, and he knows there’s really nothing he can do. He’ll respect your boundaries and sort of avoid you until you want to be around people again. He doesn’t really care how long it takes, he just wants to see you better again.

When you do get better, he’ll ask to take you out or spend the day together. He wants your good times to be as good as possible and not waste them, so, yes, he’ll go outside just for you.

Misa

It’s the hardest for her to understand. She’s usually peppy and cheerful and not really very observant of other’s moods, she might accidentally push you to your breaking point without even knowing you were nearing it.

She means well, she really does, so you might feel terrible for lashing out on her but have trouble expressing that. She just wants to be around you, but sometimes you need space. So, you’d probably have to be the one to approach her about it.

Firstly, please apologize. She hates having the fact that she made you upset hanging over her head. Then, calmly explain what’s happening and that it is not and never was her fault.

You might have to lay out specific instructions for her to follow when you go into a funk, and she will gladly respect the boundaries you set. Granted, she will be upset to hear that you might need space away from anyone at some times, but she’ll do her best to give that to you. She tells herself that the faster you’re better, the faster you can spend time together. It helps her to remember that.

L knows exactly what is wrong, possibly even before you do. He can tell when your mood begins to shift by reading your body language and speech patterns. What’s difficult for him is actually dealing with what you’re feeling.

He doesn’t know how to treat you from there, if he should be subtle or doting, if he should leave you alone entirely. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable but he would also hate to ignore you if you needed something. So he just straight up asks you what you want him to do.

He doesn’t begin that question with any “hey I noticed you were in a bad mood and I wanted to know what I can do to help.” No, he just asks “What should I do?”

When you eventually understand what he means, just be honest with him. He doesn’t need sugar coating, he can handle it if you tell him you need to be away from him for a while. He won’t be wounded by it. In fact, telling him directly will assist him a great deal. Makes him feel less weird and helps you get what you want. Win-win. But if you want affection or someone to simply hold, you can tell him that as well and he will wordlessly hunker down with you.

Near

Near wouldn’t really know what’s happening at first. He’s grown up with Mello and in the beginning he thinks you just have a lot of emotions you need to get out like the blonde does, which is partially true.

It’s when your mood shifts to something less fiery and more just plain low that he realizes it’s not the same as his brother. Upon realizing this, he would want to talk to you about it. However, sending Halle to do it seems a lot easier to him. Don’t blame him, he doesn’t like social interactions, especially when he’s not sure if you’re in a mood that will make you want to bite his head off.

Halle will relay the questions Near wants to know the answers to — are you okay, first of all? Is there anything he can do? And, are you just not happy with him?

Please for the love of god shoot that question down first. His self esteem when it comes to relationships is in the dirt so, it’s not exactly surprising that’s one of the conclusions he came up with as to why you’re feeling that way.

When you eventually go to him to talk things out, it’s easy for him to understand when you explain. He’ll leave you alone when you need space and stay with you when you want him close. He’s willing to do whatever, he’s just happy you’re content with him.

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echo-of-sounds · 4 years

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depressive episode

How Aizawa, Toshinori, and Hizashi would help and support their s/o going through a depressive episode.

Warnings: self-harm and reference to suicidal thinking

Aizawa Shouta

Aizawa is well acquainted with depression. He knows what it does to a person. He doesn’t talk about it even though it’s lingered with him most of his life. When you start a relationship with him, it will take some time but he will eventually open up to you about it. He’ll also tell you that if you suffer from depression, he’s always there for you and will always listen because, unlike other mental illnesses, he understands this one.

He’s quick to pick up on the signs of a depressive episode hitting. He’ll probably notice them before you. Things like changes in your eating and sleeping habits, an increase in your anxiety and restlessness, and your emotions gradually lowering. He’ll bring it up during downtime together, maybe while you’re laying in bed or when both of you are quietly doing your own thing. He wants to catch you when you’re relaxed as to not overwhelm you or put you on the spot.

Don’t try brushing it off. He obviously knows something’s wrong and if you keep insisting you’re fine, it’s very possible it will escalate into an argument (the exact thing he wanted to avoid). He’s not the best with his words and emotions so when you brush off what he’s saying he almost feels like you’re ignoring his feelings. He wants you to understand and listen to what he’s saying, especially when his concerns are about you. Because he is the other half of this relationship.

If your energy plummets and you can’t do everything you need, Shouta has no problem doing the extra housework, helping with your physical health, and even making calls or writing emails for you. He’s always been busy so he thinks nothing of it. But when the guilt starts to eat away because you should be able to brush your teeth without feeling like you’re going to collapse, he’ll remind you of everything you’ve done for him. Most after the USJ incident or when his stress causes him to shut down a little. You’ve helped him in the past for nothing in return, doing it out of pure love. He’ll always return the favor for you.

If self-harm happens, he won’t judge. Whether it’s cutting, burning, hitting yourself, or punching a wall, he’s going to bandage you up and lay down with you in his arms for the rest of the day. It’s okay if you cry. He might cry as well. Seeing you hurt so badly in a way where you would bring yourself physical harm just to feel a minuscule amount of relief for five damn minutes truly, truly, breaks his heart. Again, he will never judge. But he really might cry.

Whenever he gets a sinking feeling about your mental health getting worse, we will come right out and ask if you’re thinking about suicide. He might take you off guard with his bluntness but he does need to know. You don’t have to go into details, that’s for you and your therapist. He just wants to see that you’re safe in your home.

Yagi Toshinori

Since the foundation of his career is helping people and he’s met some in incredibly difficult situations, Toshi has taken it upon himself to learn about mental illnesses. Now, he’s not on the same level as a therapist or psychiatrist, but he is aware of the different signs and symptoms and how to support people that need help.

Depressive episodes hit differently each time. Stress, physical health, work, and all sorts of other things can affect how it hits. Sometimes you’re still functional. Sometimes you shut down completely. Toshi will change the way he helps depending on how you’re affected.

He knows functional depression doesn’t mean it’s any less severe or scary than the other. If you’re able to get up and go to work/school, he’ll text you often. He’ll ask how your mood is for the day. You don’t have to respond with words. You can just use emojis if you want. He’ll remind you how much he loves you, how proud he is of you, and amazing you are. Some cute puppy or kitten pictures might be tacked on to a few of those messages.

If you become nonfunctioning, this man is ready to be your caretaker. When he gets home from work, he checks if you’ve eaten and taken your pills. He makes a plain and nutritious meal for you. He’ll also ask if you’ve taken care of your physical health. A shower/bath can feel absolutely impossible so he’ll help run a cool washcloth over your body and get a new change of clothes. Brushing your teeth, taking care of your hair, or getting up for a little while are other things he’ll check and assist you with.

All of his doting can feel overbearing. Whether or not it actually is, is up for debate (mainly because that stuff doesn’t even take an hour). But depression amplifies guilt, grief, and helplessness over the most simple things. So it feels like it’s too much. Talk with him. Seriously, never be afraid to talk with him about anything. He’s patient. He’ll listen. Even if you get angry, annoyed, or frustrated, seemingly over nothing, he’ll pay attention to every word you say and help talk you down.

He’s aware of how the mind can turn on itself. He’s struggled with it as well. So, like Aizawa, he will bring up suicide, just not as bluntly. Expect soft conversations, a lot of hugging, and tears. Because if you cry he definitely will. He won’t push you to share more than you want or can. Everything he does is fueled by love and to make sure you’re not only safe but feel safe as well.

Yamada Hizashi

His initial reaction depends on if this is the first one you’ve gone through while in a relationship with him. You can hide depressive episodes from friends and family, whether you’re functional during it or not, but when you’re in a close relationship with someone, the dynamic changes.

Hizashi is quite open with many of his emotions. He’s in tune with his friend’s and more so with his partner’s. He can sense something’s wrong, just not exactly what. If you don’t talk to him for a while or he feels your mood has shifted in a really bad way, he will approach you about it, scared that he might have done something to upset you. All his worries will leave when you explain whats going on.

He’s very realistic when it comes to what you need and what he can give. He’ll cuddle you or give you space. He’ll help with work or leave you to it. Sometime’s he’ll try encouraging you to do the dishes or go for a walk if you haven’t in a while. It all depends on your ability and he’s always respectful of what you can and can’t do.

When your feelings sink, you want to cry or scream, or just lay motionless, completely alone, because everything is too much, he will take action. He makes you food even if he has to sit there and watch you eat it. He reminds you to take your medications even if they make you nauseous. He brings you to appointments even if he has to carry you. He won’t let you lose any of the progress you’ve made because he loves you and knows you will get through this.

If you self-harm, he’ll remain calm on the outside so he doesn’t worry you. But on the inside, he is freaking out a little. He doesn’t have a great deal of experience helping people with this type of thing. And it’s worse because it’s you. There’s more love in his heart for you than you could understand and to see self-inflicted wounds on your body is downright agonizing. But he won’t criticize, put you down, or make you feel guilty about it. Your thoughts and feelings are complex and sometimes difficult to control. So after an incident happens, he’ll make sure you’re clean and safe, wrap you in his arms, and try to distract you from your own mind.

However, your injuries do get stuck in his head and distract him throughout the day. He’ll text whenever he can, call every break, speed home after work. Other people will quickly notice he’s become more anxious, almost distressed. He won’t tell them why if they ask, but…

This brings up an extremely important issue that needs to be discussed. Hizashi is an emotional man- your pain and hurt affect him deeply. Both of you need to talk in-depth about your feelings. You might not always have the energy for a full-length conversation and he might feel like he’s pushing you, but communication is key. He needs it. It’s the best way to help him and, in doing so, he can understand and help you better. Have a small discussion every night, even if it’s only a few questions, just to let the other know if they’re okay or not.

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pink-flame · 3 years

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Lucky it Was Hotdogs

So! This is my gift for the @jatp-gift-exchange celebrating 6 months since the show came out. I just so happened to be assigned my friend @tmp-jatp as my giftee. Which is awesome because she’s awesome. She asked for angst and my first thought was my reputation is just going to get worse. 😂 And then I started writing, started over, changed to a different prompt two more times...had a few breakdowns but here we are! Basically all of my friends had to hear about my spiral the last couple of days so thank you and my apologies. 🙏

T, I hope you like it! 💜💜💜

In some ways Luke thinks that it’s lucky it was hot dogs.

Of course, if he had been asked to choose a way to go back in 95 he probably would have said old and in his sleep. Or maybe he would have been a smart ass and said jumping the grand canyon on a motorcycle or playing an epic show in bad weather and having some sort of electrical incident (Reggie wasn’t the only one who had been involved in that amp incident not that he was in a hurry to tell Alex that). Contaminated hot dogs in an alley on the night of their big break probably wouldn’t have occurred to him and it definitely wouldn’t have cracked the top ten list of his requests.

But now that he’s in the future, with his band and with Julie and with their dreams once again a real possibility...he thinks the hot dogs would have been the right choice.

The truth is it doesn’t matter how tragic it is that three kids had their lives cut short at the same time it’s always going to be at least a little bit funny that they went from death by hot dog. It lets him use the tragedy as a means of teasing Julie as she bites into her sandwich and it lets Willie give Alex an affectionate nickname that’s only a little in bad taste. It lets Reggie hover behind Ray when Julie’s dad gets the grill out and clutch his stomach dramatically in a reenactment for his friends amusement. It lets Julie look at Luke like the fact that he is a ghost is mildly exasperating but not inherently upsetting, not like it would be if he was a walking reminder of a car accident or the cancer that took her mom.

So yeah, it’s lucky it was hot dogs.

Except...sometimes Luke wishes that it wasn't.

Sometimes he wishes that he had died from an illness or an accident or anything that would prompt someone to look at him and ask if he wanted to talk about it. Because...he does. Just sometimes. Wants to talk about how much it hurt. Wants to talk about how scared he was. Wants to talk about how even though being able to make music still (being able to make music with Julie) matters most it does bother him.

It bothers him that Julie is the only lifer he can touch (even though she would clearly be his first choice).

It bothers him that he fades into non-existence as soon as they stop playing.

It bothers him that he can’t even thank Julie’s dad for hosting their garage gig or show her brother that he’s holding it all wrong when he catches him strumming lightly on Luke’s guitar one day.

It bothers him that he won’t ever be anything other than what he is, a teenager with a guitar and a longstanding suspicion about the consequences of wearing sleeves while performing.

It bothers him that Julie will always be what she is now (an amazing teenage girl with a wrecking ball voice and a heart big enough to keep them with her through sheer force of will) but she will also become so much more.

An adult.

Someone with a job and a family and…

He can’t think about it.

Except he does.

Not all the time but often enough, especially at night when Alex is off with Willie and Reggie is watching tv with an unsuspecting Ray and Luke is wishing more than anything that he could find the escape of sleep.

So usually he ends up writing when he feels like this, seeking out the familiar sensation of pen flying over paper, words tumbling from the deepest recesses of his mind to collect into the shape of a song.

I know I’m being selfish

But feeling alive isn’t being alive

Feeling you breathe isn’t breathing

I just want this feeling forever

Instead I count every moment I’m stealing

“Why are you writing in the dark?” Julie’s amused voice cuts through the silence causing him to jump, a remnant of a time when he had anything to fear other than his own uncertain future.

He’s not sure if it’s a ghostly superpower or just the fact that he had been peering at his notebook from only about an inch away but it’s true, he hadn’t bothered to turn the light on and he saw it just fine.

The dark felt more appropriate somehow when he felt like this anyway.

She flips on the light and crosses the room to sink down beside him where he’s spread out on the floor. He’s so distracted for a moment by just how Julie she always manages to be (beautiful and amazing and distracting in the best way) that he doesn’t realize that she’s reaching for his notebook until it’s too late. He tries to snatch it back fruitlessly as she turns her eyes to the words he has scrawled across the page. He hopes momentarily that she won’t be able to make out his infamously illegible handwriting but his hopes are dashed when she reads out the last few lines in a thoughtful tone. He has a brief flash of affection at the realization that she must be his soulmate if she can read his handwriting.

He’s distracted from that thought though when he sees the smile slide off of her face only to be replaced with a tight frown before she turns to face him, concern shining in her eyes.

“I’m fine,” He says quickly, hoping to prevent any of his dark mood from seeping into the girl beside him.

The girl who has already known enough darkness for a lifetime.

“Every moment you’re stealing?” She quotes back to him, setting the notebook carefully back on the floor. “That doesn’t sound fine.”

He considers brushing off her concern, playing it off, claiming he’s not even writing from his own perspective anyway, that he doesn’t know where the idea came from.

He can do that because he may be dead but the culprit was hot dogs and that gives him an out to make a dumb joke and change the subject and keep things the way they are now.

And if it was anyone else he would have. But it’s Julie. And he’s Luke.

She can read his handwriting.

And she can read him too.

If he lets her.

“You know how you said your dad made you talk to someone after your mom died?”

She tilts her head, clearly not expecting this question. She answers it anyway.

“Dr. Turner,” She nods. “Three times a week for a while.”

“Did it uh…” Luke swallows hard, his throat suddenly impossibly dry considering he was pretty sure he wasn’t actually producing spit anymore period. “Did it help?”

Julie’s hand twitches in her lap and he can tell she is deciding whether she should touch him. He reaches out to toy with the frayed edge of her jeans where they burst open at the knee. The answer to whether Julie should be touching him is always a resounding yes in his opinion but he also wants to let her come to him. It hasn’t been that long since they’ve even been able to touch each other and despite how much they crave it there’s a lingering awkwardness after all the build up.

“Talking to someone?” She asks carefully. “Yeah, it did. After a while I felt like I needed space to sort through things on my own but by then I was able to talk with my dad and Flynn too.”

He nods, keeps his eyes firmly on the hole in her jeans.

“Luke…”

Damn.

He has to look at her when she says his name like that.

He raises his eyes slowly, meeting her soft ones with nerves he can’t quite place.

“You know you can talk to me, right? Always.”

Her question is so small and yet so big at the same time. Such a simple offer containing such a big promise.

Always.

Wasn’t that the problem?

His always might not line up with hers.

He could forget that fact for a bit when the band was hanging out and laughing over nothing or rocking a crowd’s face’s off or when Julie was smiling in that certain Julie way that seemed reserved only for him.

But he couldn’t forget forever.

And he couldn’t promise always.

So where did that leave him?

“Luke?”

She breaks him from his thoughts again and he pushes past his caution this time, reaching out to link her hand with his, their fingers slotting together effortlessly despite the way one of them isn’t really there.

He isn’t really there.

Is he...real?

Luke suddenly feels a strange rush of panic, all of the thoughts he’s been pushing aside for months crashing through him at once.

He must have squeezed Julie’s hand inadvertently because he sees her flinch.

“Sorry, sorry,” He says breathlessly (not that he needs to breathe, he’s breathless, literally, he’s dead), drawing her hand up to press an apology against the skin there, his lips lingering for a long moment before he pulls away.

She’s not unaffected by his sudden actions, the way her eyes widen for a fraction of a second is proof enough of that, but she’s also determined and she doesn’t let him off the hook.

“Talk to me, Luke,” She says like an order and a request and a prayer all at once.

And he can’t deny her anything.

Not even this.

“I’m fine, I am...it’s just...I’m so happy that we ended up here with you Julie no matter what. I need you to know that ok? I just..I don’t...I don’t want…”

She waits as long as she can for him to finish that sentence but when he doesn’t seem prepared to, she leans closer, squeezes his hand, gives him that last push off the cliff he’s been teetering on the edge of for months.

“Don’t want what?”

“Don’t want to be dead.”

The words escape him in a hurried rush, one blending into another until it sounds like one long syllable of pain rather than a proper sentence. Still. He’s pretty sure the message got through.

“I know,” She says simply, her eyes sad but her touch impossibly gentle as her free hand comes up to cup his cheek. “I know, Luke, I know.”

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until she’s brushing his tears away with the delicate tips of her fingers.

And maybe he is real, at least a little bit if his eyes can still muster up the ability to leak like this and damn it why is that what he’s thinking about right now when the girl, the living girl, he loves is waiting for him to say something.

He wants to think of the perfect thing but what ends up coming out leaves a lot to be desired.

“Julie...I love making music with you. I love y...I love being in your life. But I’m dead. And maybe...maybe it would be better…”

“No,” She cuts him off firmly, gripping his chin lightly to turn his face more fully towards hers. “Whatever you think you’re about to say, the answer is no.”

“Julie…” He tries again.

She’s already shaking her head.

“I don’t care if you’re about to suggest some noble sacrifice or push me away or blame yourself for something...just...don’t.”

Any protest he has prepared dies on his lips, the slightest quirk of a smile taking their place even as a few stray tears make their way down his face.

“Ok,” He agrees simply.

Julie brings her other hand down to grip his knee as though she’s trying to keep him with her by anchoring him physically, making him part of her, making him real.

And that’s that.

It takes time.

A hundred aborted conversations with half confessions and unspoken requests for comfort and love freely given if not freely spoken.

But eventually he gets used to talking to Julie the same way he got used to writing with Julie and singing with Julie and falling in love with Julie.

So steadily he doesn’t feel the progress until one day he looks up and there’s no going back, not that he would ever want to.

He’s dead.

He can’t get around that.

He ate some bad hot dogs, and that will always be a little bit funny. It’s also sad and scary and tragic.

He’s dead.

But he’s also so alive.

He can’t promise always but he can promise as long as I’m here.

And he does.

Over and over and over again.

#JATP gift exchange #juke #jatp #my fics

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gallickingun · 3 years

Text

ding, dong, the witch is dead!

honestly, who didn’t see this coming? lol. but, anyway. i guess this is goodbye! i’ll ramble more below the cut, but just know that over the next couple of days, i’ll be exporting my blog so i can keep what i want, and then this will be the only post left here.

thank you to everyone who i’ve had the privilege of meeting, and those of you who have been so kind as to leave lovely notes on my works, and interact with me over our silly anime crushes. i really appreciate all the kindness i’ve been shown in the anime fandom. some of my best friends i’ve met through this stupid app, but overall, it’s just not a healthy space for me. i’m not blaming anyone else for what this has become, at the end of the day, i created a hell for myself. i’m just tired of trying to rebuild, rebrand, whatever. i’m just tired.

that being said, obviously not everything can always be so lovely. i don’t care about the discourse or the drama or the whatever, but i’m just hoping this post will bring me some closure, and maybe some for those i’ve hurt, whether accidentally or intentionally. if you click read more and you’re upset with what you see, well, idk what to tell you, friend.

i hate that tumblr can be so insignificant, and yet so all encompassing all at once. yes, it’s “just tumblr” and “it’s not that deep” because at the end of the day, it’s just an app. but, unfortunately, behind this app and these blogs are human beings. which means you create real bonds and real friendships, and real feelings get hurt.

i came back to tumblr during a really sad, dark time in my life. and that was honestly my first mistake. i latched on to whoever would pay attention to me, craving some sort of friendship that i never needed before because i always had someone in real life. but i had just moved away from my family, and was starting the process of what would end up being a notsogreat divorce. i felt alone, and was struggling a lot with my self worth, so instead of choosing to be kind, i chose to lash out. regardless of whether or not that was in private dm’s of those whom, at the time, i’d considered friends, it was still inconsiderate and childish of me. i thought i had to be some hateful version of myself in order to prove to other people that i wasn’t as sad about myself as i truly was. the words i said in private were rude, nasty, and just... not who i want to be? and, without going into immense detail, some of those things i wanted to move on from and no longer felt, were then used as weapons and spread around to others who i never intended to see what i’d said.

please, please, PLEASE — be careful what you say. you really never know who is watching, who is going to manipulate you, etc. what you say holds weight, and even if you don’t intend for it to hurt anyone, even if it’s just venting.. i dunno. just, be careful, okay? check yourself from time to time, friend. make sure that you’re not allowing the overall negativity of the world, of your own mind, of others, to affect you to the point that you don’t recognize yourself.

if you don’t know about my lovely little exposed blog, well, you’d probably be the last to know. at least, it feels that way. although in the beginning maybe it was justified? in some right? i’m not sure anymore, really, but regardless—it turned into some sort of stalking experience. at one point in time, i received 35+ messages telling me how horrible i was, telling me to off myself, telling me that my ex did the right thing by leaving me “on the curb”, etc. my full legal name was being released, with the intent to doxx me i’m assuming? i was being told i was “being watched”, which i fully believe was happening, with the consistency of the updates. people who claim to hate me, still followed me with the intent of watching my every move to “see if i’d changed”. i only have received updates through friends, because to be perfectly honest with you, seeing your worst mistakes splayed on the internet and turning you into some shounen villain is NOT the best thing for your mental health. that, and some of the “truths” were half-honesties twisted because i’d be a hypocrite to post private dm’s debunking these things when i was upset with the very same people for posting such things. i’ve addressed some things, such as the racism, so i won’t go into that again, but some of these other instances are stretches, to say the least.

the irony of the whole thing is not lost on me. the very same people who say i only do things for notes/recognition, are doing those very things. those who say i only care about tumblr, are proving that by running a blog dedicated to exposing some twenty three year old idiot on the internet. those who say i use my friends are the same ones who literally lied to my face so they could collect receipts behind my back and then leave me when it got convenient. those who say i talk to “insignificant” blogs to appear invested are the ones calling those blogs insignificant, i never once believed anyone i’ve interacted with was insignificant, contrary to popular belief. everything they focus on ends up being nothing but hypocrisy in the end.

that being said, obviously i truly hurt whoever all is behind this blog. intentionally, or otherwise. and i know that sometimes what you do/say isn’t meant to hurt anyone, however, you don’t get to control how what you’ve done effects others. all you can do is apologize. but, i know a few of them, because based on the “receipts” they’ve pulled together, the stories are too specific to be anything but those people i’m thinking of. i don’t enjoy blanket apologies, but i’m leaving this hellsite, so it’s all i’ve got left.

i’m sorry for giving you the fuel to your fire for this petty agenda, i’m sorry for creating the monster of myself that allowed you to string along this storyline for what seems to be the better part of a year. i’m sorry that i gave you material to fixate upon, rather than providing you with friendship and something better to focus on. i truly hope you can move on now that i’m gone from tumblr, and honestly i don’t plan on coming back, lol. i genuinely, truly, deeply feel sorry for you, and pray that you can turn this obsessive focus from me to something more productive, something healthier.

the angry part of me wants everyone to realize that the start of this, the matchups/refunds situation, was born from this stalkerish behavior. it has taken me months to put the pieces together, because i truly didn’t think someone who i’d called my friend once would ever string together such a lie, or rather an exaggerated, adulterated truth, but i guess it’s what happened, in the end.

there are a lot of, uh, conveniently timed “releases” of receipts even though they were months after the initial occurrence of the offense. i can’t go into each one, because, frankly, there are too many. i just hope that in the wake of all of these horrible exposes of things i’ve done, others are able to reflect on their actions. telling me one thing while currently speaking to another individual and telling them another, blatantly LYING, etc. are all things that i’ve been accused of, and yet they’ve also been done to me. doesn’t justify what i’ve done, nor am i seeking some sort of absolution, however i just hope that these individuals can see their hypocrisy and move forward.

which leads me to my final point — regardless of how shitty someone is, disallowing them the room to grow, stunting their moral/mental growth, is truly the issue. i am not going to sit here and play holier than thou. i know i fucked up. i was a nasty bitch because i was angry at the world, and then that anger was fueled further by consistent situations where i made the wrong friends at the wrong times in my life. but the fact that this exposed nonsense has been dragging on since... july? august? i’m not really sure, but whatever. since it’s been going on, i have been battling with myself and my ability to do the things i love, talk to those i care about, etc. all because i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting the wrong person, etc. and in trying to avoid it, i’ve been doing the very same thing i hoped to keep from doing.

i never felt like i could apologize to those i wanted to apologize to because it might be received as disingenuous due to the nature of the exposed blog’s very existence “forcing” me to apologize. don’t get me wrong, some of those who the blog tried to coerce me into apologizing to can suck a dick, because there are people that i truly do not feel deserve my apologies, and therefore, will never get them. but, i do feel bad for those i didn’t get the chance to apologize to that i really wanted to. the last thing i’d want is for my apology to be turned into something it’s not, but hopefully everyone who has been affected by my actions can move on with my absence.

and to those of you who feel the need to make public denounces of my name, i hope it provides you the closure you’ve been seeking. truly, i do. but know that i never did anything i’ve ever done with the intent to get ahead or buy someone’s friendship or take advantage of anyone else. if i truly only cared about the things people say i cared about, i would have never made this blog in the first place. i would have leeched off the popularity of my main blog if popularity was all i cared about. i was searching for a home, which, in the end, i burned down myself. me, joking around about follower count and notes, was literally nothing but sarcastic banter that’s been taken out of context. but, i digress.

i am very thankful for those who i can still call my friends, who are willing and ready to have honest discussions with me about the things i’ve said/done and analyze them and help me move forward. therapy, medication, life choices, etc. all have been rolled into me deciding that i’m done letting a silly little app stunt my growth. if the internet was unplugged tomorrow, i know who i’d have and what would matter. i have REAL LIFE to focus on. i am in love and i have beautiful friendships that i want to foster with honesty and kindness. i can only hope that you all have the opportunity to have those very same things.

will i stop writing? nah, dude. no way. i’m just getting started. in my absence, in choosing to stay away from a place that makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety, i’ve delved into my original characters and i’ve written thousands of words that i haven’t felt the pressure to post about. i’ve learned that just because i’m doing something i love, i don’t have to do it for anyone else.

the internet is a funky place, folks. just be careful who your friends are, okay?

anyway. peace out, girl scouts. i wish you all the best 💖

#morgan.txt #tw mental health #tw suicide mention #tw discourse #tw drama #THAT’S ALL FOLKS! signing off xx

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cafeinthemoon · 3 years

Text

The Home I Crave - Chapter 6

Title: The Home I Crave

Genre: Fanfiction

Pairing: Tobirama Senju x reader

Rating: teen and up

Word count: 1940

Chapter: 6/?

Symbols: ⭕ | ➕ | 💛 | ▶️▶️

Read the previous chapter here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

You opened your mouth to say something, but gave up in the middle of it. Did he just say he created a teleportation jutsu? Yes, your ears were not deceived, neither were your eyes: you saw him just appearing inside a room where you were surely left alone. And now he was just there apologizing for his brother as if Hashirama just forgot to tell you something as obvious as the location of the room’s window. For everything you’ve heard until that day you already knew your betrothed was not a common man, but this surpassed your expectations.

You also wanted to say that what Hashirama didn’t anything serious and that you were already recovered from the shock, but Tobirama’s words made you feel like that wasn’t true: a mistake was made, and thanks to it the meeting between the bride and the groom didn’t happen as planned. Well, you were upset too, but it wasn’t the end of the alliance, was it? However, that was the way he put things.

It was when something woke up in your brain, and recollecting everything you already knew about him you understood what Mito wanted to say when she stated that Tobirama was the opposite of his brother.

This urged you to fix the discomfort and to reason with him as soon as you could.

- As you already found out, Lord Advisor, I am y/n from the … clan, our head’s eldest daughter and his advisor as well – you bowed your head in an imitation of his gesture – You will forgive me, but I believe we can take things a little lighter. I don’t believe the Hokage made a serious mistake, and even if he has warned me about the seal I think I would be caught in surprise seeing it in action.

You weren’t sure if your response was enough to soothe his humor, but something changed in his expression and tone when he spoke again.

- You are right – and looking at the seal again – I’ve been using this technique for so long that sometimes I forget how unusual it might seem to the people who never heard of it.

You’ve already met ninjas who created jutsu before, but none of them seemed so proud of them as the younger Senju. From now on, you would have to watch your steps when the subject were his jutsu.

Judging that you had nothing more to say about the incident, Tobirama opened the door, indicating the exit to you.

- We will be late if we stay here.

You passed by the door and he closed it behind him, walking through the corridor towards the house’s entry. You followed him, but once you reached the front door you cleared your throat, gaining his attention right when he had his hand over the door.

He turned to you.

- Is there something wrong?

- Well, I... think it is appropriate if you offer me your arm.

Tobirama stared at you as if your solicitation was entirely unexpected. You almost told him to not do it if he didn’t want to, but he offered you his left arm without a word, which you accepted with equal silence before he finally opened the residence’s door.

***

The ceremony itself was faster than you thought it would be, considering that you’ve already attended to events like that and always sensed they lasted for an eternity. Or maybe your head were so full of preoccupations that you haven’t much time to feel bored by all the formalities in which you had to take part.

After you two said your vows before the priest, you turned to each other: it was the time for the kiss. You might have seemed more surprised than you should be, because Tobirama approached you and asked if everything was okay; you nodded and just said you were nervous, not dreaming of telling him you completely forgot about this part.

He didn’t waste time with deliberations or affected gestures: he bowed to you and kissed your forehead, finishing it fast enough to your relief and to Hashirama and Mito’s deception, or so you thought when you glanced at them right after.

***

When the ceremony and the greeting session with representatives of both the Senju and your clan was over, you and your husband left the temple and went to the night, prepared to go to your house. You were curious, for everything you’ve seen from it was its entry during a walk with Mito, but now you were going to step into it and learn to see it as your new home.

You were aware of the house’s location, so that once you left the temple’s area you started walking towards that direction, but Tobirama called you before you went too far.

- Yes? – you turned to him.

- Where are you going?

Your first thought was that he was being ironic, but two reasons made you abandon the idea: first, such behavior didn’t fit him, and second, he was serious as usual.

You replied to him in the same tone.

- To our house. This is the right way, isn’t it? – you pointed the street you were about to walk in.

- Yes. But we are not going to walk to reach it.

Before you could ask what were you going to do then, he came to your side and touched your shoulder. You didn’t have enough time to blink, even less time to ask him what he was doing: in one moment, you were still at the entry of the temple; in the next one, you were in a completely different place. You looked around and recognized the Advisor’s residence at your right. Looking closer to the wooden door, in a corner you noticed a copy of the seal you found behind the door of the room where you met glowing in the dark.

So that was how his teleportation jutsu worked. Impressive.

Tobirama opened the door and entered, turning on the lights. You entered just after him, who closed the door behind you while you looked around, still getting used to the fact that you would have to live there from now on. It wasn’t bad, though: the place was tidy, simple, organized, a reflection of his owner; besides, it was wide, so that you shouldn’t have difficulties to maintain the amount of privacy necessary in the period of adaptation to a new routine.

It was when you remembered something.

- I just realized I didn’t talk to Mito before we left – you started speaking, not sure if you were getting a reply so heavy was his silence after closing the door – We were going to go back to the Hokage’s residence so she would help me to bring the rest of my things.

Yes, in the morning of that day you sent some of your essential things to Tobirama’s house after receiving a message from him telling you to do so, but most of the less important things were left in the room you were using at Hashirama’s, so you talked to Mito and she said she would bring them with you after the ceremony; but you left so early that you barely talked to her about it. What were you going to do now?

- It is not an unsolvable problem, y/n-san.

The reply came faster than you expected. You saw Tobirama making a hand seal you never seen before; two columns of white smoke appeared on each side of him, giving place to two figures who looked exactly like him. Two clones.

He touched their backs and spoke to you.

- I marked them with my Hiraishin. They are going to go to my brother’s house and pack your things, bringing them here as soon as they can. There is no need to bother my sister-in-law with this.

You wanted to say that this wouldn’t bother her because that was precisely the plan you two have made, but you ended up quiet. He ordered the clones to teleport to Hashirama’s house and they obeyed, disappearing in the next instant.

Tobirama reached the white flower on his chest and took it off his clothing. You had a similar flower adorning your hair as well; he approached you and took it off your strand, holding them together without looking at you or saying anything that revealed his thoughts. Close to the living room’s window at your left, there was a round, small table; he went there and found a blue vase, inside which he left the flower. When he came back to you, it was as if he just forgot about the flowers’ existence.

Maybe he did, for he changed the subject with the same promptitude he left the flowers behind:

- Now let’s prepare something to eat.

Something in this invitation made you feel willing to offer yourself to help.

- Yes. Since you know your own kitchen better, I can put the table while you cook…

While you went to the kitchen, he thanked your suggestion but explained that he was going to use a third clone to cook while he himself was going to organize the table.

- You can go and wash your hands – he pointed at a corridor that extended to the core of the residence until divide itself in two, continuing at the right and the left – The bathroom is at your right, behind the last door.

He soon turned to the kitchen and created another clone, who immediately started to work as he took bowls to put on the table. You had nothing more to say, so you just went to the door he indicated wondering how many clones he was able to make in so little time.

Once in the bathroom, you decided to take some time for yourself. Besides washing your hands, you removed your makeup and undid your hairstyle. You thought of taking a bath, but your stomach made a loud noise telling you not to until you eat something.

When you came back to the kitchen, everything was ready and Tobirama told you to sit and serve yourself.

***

After a silent dinner, Tobirama took you to other parts of the house while a clone was left behind to clean the dishes.

He showed you the main departments, such as the room you would share, his office, the library and the service area with brief explanations of his methods to keep them clean and organized – which was almost resumed to the use of Shadow Clones since he had so little time to spent at home and didn’t like the idea of paying someone else to do this job for him. You asked him about how he was able to manage the clones’ activity in his absence, and he explained that unlike common clones, the Shadow Clones used by him – actually, another jutsu he created – were physical copies of the original person, so that they would always know what to do even when the original was not present. In the end, when the clones disappeared, their experiences were transferred to the primary individual.

It was strange that he spoke as if he had to work hard to maintain the order in a place where he lived alone when all you saw while looking into the rooms was an organization you’ve rarely seen in a man’s house.

You were going to question him about the task division now that you would live there as well, when the clones came back with your things. Tobirama told them to take them to your room and they obeyed without a word.

#naruto fanfiction #tobirama #tobirama x reader #tobirama senju #tobirama senju x reader #tobirama fanfic

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years

Text

Ateez: Your Relationship Being Outed

Kim Hongjoong:

Your companies had warned you that Dispatch had been keeping an eye on you two, hoping to get incriminating evidence that you two were indeed dating. After, sitting down and properly talking, your managers asked you both what you wanted.

Hongjoong and you looked at each other. You were both afraid, but knew for sure you wanted to go public with the relationship, you wanted to be able to be seen in public together.

"What do you think?" You asked your boyfriend, wanting to make sure he'd be ok with it.

Hongjoong smiled at you as his hand reached for yours.

"If it's ok with you, I'd like to go public about us."

And that's exactly what you two did. A few days later, you were prepared. Knowing full well Dispatch sent photographers your way, you both took a deep breath before linking hands together and walking out the building with your faces exposed. You two even waved and smiled at the cameras, having no fear or shame about your relationship, knowing deep down your fans would be happy and supportive about it.

Park Seonghwa:

This all started because a certain idol was hitting on you too much for Seonghwa's liking. You kept telling him you'd take care of it and not to worry about it.

"But how can I just stand there and pretend to be fine when they're eyefucking you right in front of me?"

He had enough one day. So when he saw said idol approaching you to bother you again, he spun you around and kissed you right in front of them and whoever else was around, warning the idol to back off from you.

And soon the idol's tweet about you two dating was spread like wildfire.

"I told you I'd take care of it, but no. You had to go jealous boyfriend mode and out us like that." You were stressed about this too much.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't regret anything." Seonghwa confessed.

He hugged you from behind and slowly swayed you side to side.

"We'll get through this together ok? Don't worry. Our fans will understand."

Jeong Yunho:

Since the beginning, Yunho wanted to make your relationship public. He adored you and knew Atiny would be ecstatic to know you two were dating. Fans often shipped you two for God's sake.

"I don't know Yunho....." You always told him.

"Why not? Don't you love me enough to let the world know?.......are you ashamed of me?"

You could hear his voice break and it killed you.

"Of course I love you! And I'm proud of you! But I'm scared that it might affect our careers and we'd be forced to leave each other."

Yunho wiped the tears that spilled out from your eyes.

"Nothing will ever break us apart. That's my promise to you." He kissed your forehead and gave you a reassuring smile.

And he spilled the news the only way he could: ANEWZ.

"This just in: there are rumors going around that Jeong Yunho and L/N Y/N are dating....." He looked at the camera and smiled.

"Indeed the rumors are true. "

Kang Yeosang:

Yeosang and you often snuck out at midnight for dates. Sure it was tiring, but seeing each other made you forget about your hectic schedules, the constant shove of cameras in your face, the pressure to be the perfect idols. None of that existed when you two were together. You were just Yeosang and Y/N.

Soon enough, a photo was leaked by a sasaeng. You both woke up to articles about the leak all over the internet. Yeosang quickly went to see you, wanting to make sure you were ok, although he was on the verge of crying too at the thought that you'd be forced to break up.

Karma has its ways though, fans supported you two and condemned the sasaeng for violating your privacy. Fan sites even were created just for the two of you. It was an overwhelming amount of support.

Yeosang couldn't be happier, even if his members liked to tease him about you any chance they got.

"Here's an easy one: what's Yeosang's favorite thing in the whole world?" Yunho asked the question he picked out from the box at one of their fanmeets.

"Y/N?" Wooyoung snickered, making everyone erupt in laughter as Yeosang got embarrassed.

Choi San:

San was another one who didn't felt the need to keep your relationship a secret.

"I wanna show you off to the world!" Was what he often said. But of course, you knew that was only half of the truth.

"And I also want other people to know you're taken and not try to take you away from me like they do." There it was. He was possessive and often wanted to out you two so others wouldn't hit on you so much.

He got the opportunity while he was doing a VLive. He was happily chatting away until a lot of comments kept asking him if you and him were dating, making him confused. He saw his phone and someone sent him a leaked photo of you two kissing on one of your dates. He was shocked to find out this way and didn't know what to say, but gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and finally spoke up:

"Atiny, I have someone to say.... it's true. I am dating Y/N. I fell in love with them and I'm really happy with them.....I hope that you can all understand..."

Comments flooded in, telling him not to apologize and encouraging him about the situation. He started crying at the beautiful messages.

"Thank you so much...you guys really are the best....also let me take this time to say..."

Wiping his tears, he looked dead straight at the camera:

"Y/N is mine so none of you other idols try to take them from me. I know who you are!"

Song Mingi:

Mingi and you tended to be very careful about your relationship. You wanted to just date peacefully without anyone bothering you two or having it become a topic for people discuss. And you thought you took good measures.

Apparently not good enough since an employee at one of your favorite cafes outed you two. They posted a picture of you two.

"This is bad." Mingi tried to remain calm.

"No it's not.....it's inconvenient. But not bad." You tried assuring him.

"Yes it is! What if our companies deny it? What if they force us to break up? What will I do then Y/N? I can't live without you."

You knew you had to be the strong one here for both of you, but you couldn't. You simply held Mingi tightly, sobbing and not wanting to let him go.

Your agencies decided to hold a press conference addressing the rumors about you two. They asked you two to be present, which made you even more afraid. But to your surprise, they confirmed your relationship and threatened legal action against anyone who spread malicious words about you two or violated your privacy.

Mingi and you stood there stunned, wondering if it was a dream or not. But you two were so happy that you could be together after all. You guys waved and smiled at the press, making your first public appearance as a couple.

Jung Wooyoung:

You both adjusted your face masks one more time, making sure that you were unrecognizable.

"How do I look?" Wooyoung asked you as he faced you.

"I don't know. I can't see your face." You snorted.

Even though his face was covered, you could tell he was not pleased with your answer and was giving you his stank face.

"Hahaha, very funny. Now come on. I wanna get there before too many people show up."

The date seemed to run by so smoothly. Since most individuals were wearing masks anyway, no one batted an eyelash at you two or found anything suspicious. You two could sit on a bench and Wooyoung felt comfortable enough to wrap his arm around you. Then you felt him stiffen and release his hold on you.

"Woo? What is it?" You asked him, noticing his shift in behavior.

He didn't answer you but simply stood up and walked over to a man sitting by himself near a fountain. By his walk, you could tell Wooyoung meant business.

"So who sent you? Dispatch?"

The man reddened, thinking he had been sneaky at his attempt to film you two.

Wooyoung smirked.

"I'll make your job easier for you. We'll just tell the public ourselves. That way you can just leave us alone and not stalk us. Have a nice day."

Wooyoung walked back over to you and you asked him what was that about.

"I hope you're ready baby. Cause we're coming out."

Choi Jongho:

It all spilled out cause Jongho had been working as an MC for Music Bank. His co-MC was overly flirty with him, and though he remained unfazed by her gestures, people still decided to ship them together. He absolutely hated it.

"Are you not even a tiny bit upset as well?" He asked you.

"Actually no. I know you only love me and they're just being a thirsty hoe. And it is funny to watch you whine about it." You couldn't help but find his reactions adorable.

Jongho had enough though one VLive when so many people were commenting things about his supposed relationship with said idol.

"Stop asking me how she is. I don't know what she's doing cause I'm not dating her! I'm dating Y/N!"

He gasped when he realized that he outed you two, right in the middle of a VLive.

Your agencies quickly put out a statement, confirming the related and apologizing for Jongho lashing out in anger, saying he was just stressed about things. But fans understood and supported you two.

"I still can't believe you told the whole world." You said to him the next time you saw him.

"Oh relax. Think positive. Now I can hold your hand in public without worrying about cameras."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines

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harryspet · 4 years

Text

a long way down [3] b.barnes & s.rogers

[Warnings] dark bucky barnes x reader, dark steve rogers, violence, death, heavy angst, the walking dead au, slice of life, domestic steve, vaginal sex (wear protection, please)

A/N: I love how this was supposed to be a one-shot and now I’m finding all the ways to make this series longer and add more drama.

ADULT AND TRIGGERING CONTENT AHEAD

In which your world is shaken again and you’re forced to run back to your first safe haven.

word count: 3.4k

series masterlist

T H E N E X T S P R I N G

“She recognizes you,” You said, watching Peter’s eyes widen as the baby smiled up at him. It was currently tummy time in the living room and the two of you laid beside her, watching her explore her environment, “That’s Uncle Peter, right Margot?”

You watched her little fingers wrap around her little toys as she proceeded to put them in her mouth to taste them. Six whole months had passed since she was welcomed to this scary world and she’d already grown so much, “It’s me, Margot. It’s me,” Peter spoke in a cute voice and the baby proceeded to babble something incoherent, “Bet you I can get her to say Peter before she says Mama.”

You rolled your eyes at that as you continued to watch her, “You will be saying Mama first, missy,” You told her though she was only focused on a bright orange ring toy. You could look at her little face for hours on hours. You hadn’t felt true love until you laid eyes on her.

The long journey it took you to get here only made you love her more. You were lucky that she didn’t come too early. God forbid you needed a c-section or she was facing the wrong way. You wanted her to survive and that’s all you hoped and prayed for. When you lost too much blood and began to pass out, you were still happy knowing she’d be okay.

You didn’t think you would make it. Sharon did her best to give you the best care she could but modern medicine wasn’t available to you. You were sick and on bed rest for the first two months she was alive so now you were enjoying the time when you could move around with her. During the time you were unconscious, Steve had made the considerate decision to name the baby Margaret after some long lost love.

Margaret Rogers.

You refused to call her that and decided on a nickname of your own choosing.

“C’mere, Margot,” You sat up, lifting the baby into your lap, “Let me show you something cool, Peter.”

Peter sat up too, his eyes confused as you removed one of her little socks. She was still happily waving around the toy as you ran a finger down the sole of her foot. Her little toes spread out like a little fan, “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Peter declared and you giggled.

“It’s called the Babinski reflex. It might go away as early as twelve months so I’m going to savor the cuteness,” You encouraged Peter to try it too and the boy seemed to swoon over Margot. You moved the baby into his lap, continuing to tell him about all the little milestones that Margot was passing.

“She’s like a sponge, it’s amazing,” Peter said, bouncing the little girl in his lap, “Do you get any sleep?”

You nodded, “I’m up by five every morning but I’m used to it now. If she wakes up while I’m sleeping, Steve takes care of her. Luckily, she’s sleeping through the night.”

“Such a sweet girl,” Peter cooed, “I’m sure you’d never cause Mommy any problems.” You were lucky that Margot’s temperament was easy. She got frustrated like all other babies but she wasn’t very sensitive. You thought it meant she’d do well in a world like this.

The two of you spent more time with Margot but your peace and serenity was interrupted when both Steve and Bucky returned home. You always got the feeling that they disliked Peter being around but that never stopped you from being friends with him. Peter probably cared more for you then both of them combined.

“It’s getting late, son,” You heard Steve say, his deep voice trying to be as authoritarian as it could. Steve scared Peter, you could tell that much.

“I’ll go then,” Peter rushed out, handing the little girl back to you. Margot seemed a bit upset at his absence and you held her to you in order to keep her calm. You knew it was useless to argue about this with Steve and you doubted Bucky would have your back.

You stood up from your place on her baby blanket, using Margot’s hand to wave goodbye, “Say bye-bye, Peter,” The little girl only mumbled something incoherent, “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Margot. Goodbye, Y/N,” Peter smiled before walking out of the living room. The room went silent as Peter made his way to the front door and tension only increased

Steve walked over to greet his daughter, lifting her from your arms, “Hello, honey-bear,” Margot’s mood seemed to lift again as she recognized her Daddy and Steve’s hard exterior softened. When they were together, it reminded you how alike they looked. He lifted the giggling girl, taking a whiff of her bottom, “You need a change, don’t you?”

“I can do it-”

Steve interrupted you, “No, I’ve got it. Daddy’s gonna change you, yes he is.”

“Wash your hands please,” You told Steve who was too focused on the tiny creature. As Steve walked away to climb the stairs, your eyes met with Bucky’s. Although you liked that he was forced to face the consequences of his actions, you knew that he was still chasing your affection. He was facing his demons in order to get closer to you.

“Catch anything good?” You asked, leaning down to collect all the toys. There was a lake just outside the compound limits that Steve and Bucky frequented for their “time to just be a man” where they liked to go fishing.

“Nothing alive,” Bucky said, following you as you walked into the kitchen. You put the toys into the sink, turning the warm water on in order to clean them. Bucky leaned against the counter and you felt his gaze burning into you, “It’s still pretty peaceful out there, we didn’t run into any walkers. I was thinking we could go out there together, you could take a break like you deserve.”

“Go out there and do what?” You asked, your eyes not meeting his.

“I don’t know, have a picnic or something.”

“Or something?” You scoffed, scrubbing at the toys, “Sounds romantic.”

Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line of frustration, “I’m trying here. I’m not good at … romantic stuff.”

“To say the least,” You added, “Bucky, I don’t need or want a break. I’m perfectly content right now.”

“You’re sure about that? You don’t have any other needs begging to be met?” You scowled at him, knowing what he was hinting at. Steve had barely touched you since you started showing and, after the rough birth, he wasn’t willing to rush into trying for a boy.

“I’m sure.”

“Looks like both the girls are down for the night,” Steve said, letting out a sigh as he sat in his desk chair. Bucky sat in the chair in front of Steve’s desk, his feet kicked up on the desk.

“What about Sharon?”

Steve rubbed his temples at the mention of the woman, “She’s been working late at the infirmary. She won’t tell me but I know it’s because my attention has been elsewhere,” Bucky was beginning to doubt Steve’s feeling for Sharon in the first place. It seemed Steve was ready to completely let the woman go due to her infertility, “I don’t really care if she doesn’t come back. Y/N and I can handle things on our own.”

Bucky only nodded, his mind already wandering elsewhere. Steve noted his friend's frustration and wondered why the man continued to bother with you. Even after all this time, Bucky still didn’t have anyone else on his mind, “What’s on your mind, Buck?”

Bucky’s fingers rubbed over his facial hair as he thought, “That Peter kid.”

Right away, Steve understood. It had been a topic they avoided despite knowing how each other felt about it, “What about him?”

“You don’t think he spends a little too much time around here? With your daughter?”

Steve didn’t believe Peter was any real threat to his family here. Steve saw him as a distraction for you. Someone who helped you forget your worries, “This is about her, Buck. You don’t want him around her.”

“Fine,” Bucky threw up his hands in defeat, “I think he’s getting in the way of Y/N letting me in again. She has Peter to be there and tell her everything's going to be alright so she doesn’t need me.”

“Tell her not to see him then. Matter of fact, tell him to stay away,” Steve spoke simply, the solution obvious in his mind.

“If she knows I had something to with it, it’ll make things worse. I have to be the good guy in her eyes.”

Steve smiled, a lightbulb going off in his mind, “Shall I be the bad guy then?”

Bucky moved his feet, leaning forward in his chair, “What are you thinking?”

“I still need someone to replace you. Someone to travel and relay messages between our camp and my allies. Peter could fill the position for the time being,” Bucky didn’t think over it long before he agreed. All that was on his mind was winning you back and this would only help his cause, “I need to keep up appearances around here anyways. We don’t need some kid running around here with our girls, right?”

“Right,” Bucky said, his mind on you, “Thanks, Steve.”

“No need, Buck. We have to look out for each other. Besides that, I think it's a good time to ask you to be my second in command.”

Margot was a complete celebrity in Liberty. You couldn’t walk on the street without people coming up to wave or to get a look at her. Margot was good with strangers which only solidified her position as princess of this place.

It was a sunny spring day and you had dressed her in a floral dress and a pink bow. You carried her in one hand and held a tupperware of deserts in the other hand. Sam wasn’t far behind but that hadn’t changed in the past year.

“We’re going to find uncle Peter, yes we are,” You cooed to the little girl who was energized from her latest nap, “And he’s going to love the cookies we made him.”

You eventually got to the barracks where Steve’s group of soldiers usually stayed, you walked through the long lines of bunk beds to find his. As you passed some men, all of them burly and intimidating, they even waved hello to your little one.

As you approached Peter’s bunk you found it empty, only a mattress sitting on top of the metal. All of his comics and textbooks were nowhere to be found. You searched around for the nearest person and found a group of older men playing some dice game, “Excuse me, do you know where Peter Parker is today? He slept over there,” You asked, pointing to Peter’s bunk.

“Packed up early this morning,” The man said, “Think he got reassigned.”

“Reassigned where?” You asked.

“Something outside of the compound. Poor kid.”

Your heart started pounding heavily as you turned back to Sam, “Take me to Steve. Now.”

“He’s on duty-”

“Find him and take me to him, Sam.”

Margot was screaming in your eyes mostly because she sensed how upset you were. As soon as you approached Steve, he swooped the little girl into his arms, trying to calm her, “What the hell are you doing?” Steve asked. He came down from one of the watchtowers, a rifle still strapped to his back, as he saw you approaching with Sam.

“Peter? Where did you send him?”

Steve sighed, “Y/N-”

“Where did you send him?” You shouted back.

“I needed a new emissary and he volunteered to do it,” Steve stated simply.

“By himself? He’s a kid, Steve!” Margot cried louder but your blood was boiling, “You’re going to get him killed!”

“We all have to earn our keep around here, Y/N. Some people put their lives on the line for a chance to live here and then people like you spread your legs for it. That’s how it works, sweetheart.”

“You’re a fucking monster,” You spat at him.

Bucky scoured the camp looking for you for a good hour. You were sitting at the bottom of a big tree, staring out into a small field. Where the field ended, the wall began. Bucky startled you when he suddenly appeared and you were quick to try and wipe away your tears.

He took a seat beside you, leaning his back against the tree. This area of the camp was peaceful, it was no wonder that you had taken a liking to it.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, your face in a frown.

“I thought you didn’t need a break,” Bucky said, avoiding your question.

“This isn’t a break,” You said softly, “You’re supposed to feel relaxed on a break-” As your voice cracked and the tears started falling again, Bucky wrapped an arm around your soldier. You leaned into him and sobbed into his shoulder.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” You tried to speak as you choked on your sobs.

“He’ll be back, I promise” Bucky stated, “Probably sooner than you think. The kid can handle himself.”

“He shouldn’t have to. Margot shouldn’t have to,” You said, “It isn’t fair.”

Bucky rubbed your shoulder, drawing lines on your skin with his fingers, “I know, doll.”

It was like losing your family all over again. It was worse than losing them. At least you knew they were dead. You wouldn’t know if he was alive or dead and, if something happened, you wouldn’t even know how it happened. There were so many things outside of the walls that could get you killed.

You pulled away from Bucky gently, realizing how long it had been since you’d been in his arms. Looking into those blue eyes gave you a weird sense of familiarity. Of home, “Maybe you could talk to Steve? For me?”

Bucky nodded, “Of course, doll.”

You stared at his moment and Bucky noted the way your gaze traveled to your lips. Bucky reached over to wipe a tear from your cheek. He couldn’t hide how attracted to you he was, even when you were crying. Bucky placed a soft, hesitant kiss on your cheek, “Everything’s going to be okay. All I should worry about is your little one.”

You took a deep breath, nodding in agreement.

It must’ve been the emotions or the off-balance hormones because, when Bucky leaned into your lips, you didn’t stop him. In fact, you welcomed that touch. The soft kisses soon became more desperate and hungry. Your lips were angry, demanding as they moved against his.

It shocked Bucky as much as it did to you. Bucky was elated but he had little time to celebrate you being back in his clutches. You were hungry for something and he was going to make sure you were satisfied.

Bucky pulled you into his lap and, as you straddled him you said, “Just this once.”

“Just this once,” Bucky agreed, knowing the opposite would be true.

Your lips devoured each other and Bucky explored your mouth with his hands pulled down the straps of your sundress. As your breast sprang free, he palmed them his hand. The cold of his metal hand sent shivers down your spine but Bucky warmed you again with his mouth. He played with your nipple in his mouth causing you to bite down on your lips.

Your hands ran through his hair as you savored the feeling. As he moved his mouth away, his head tilted up at you, “You’re so beautiful,” Bucky said and you rolled your eyes, leaning down to undo his belt and zipper.

“Just fuck me, okay?” Bucky grabbed you by your ass roughly pulling you into him. He reached under your dress, tucking your underwear to the side as he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel how hard he already was and the idea of him filling you up was making your mouth water with anticipation.

As you slowly impaled yourself on his cock, your mouth was agape. You realized how full he made you fill, how complete you felt. Bucky held your hips as you began to bounce up and down. Bucky groaned huskily, loving how your face contorted to different expressions as the pleasure went through you.

As you tried to contain your moans, Bucky placed kisses along your jaw and then on your neck. He felt all your anger and sadness as you used it as motivation, moving your body hard against his.

The two eventually met your climaxes together, your body shaking as you rode out the rest of the wave. You breathed heavily, leaning against his body. You tucked your head into his shoulder and Bucky simply wrapped his arms around you.

“Say you won’t leave again,” You whispered.

“I won’t leave you ever again, doll.”

The next day you awoke beside Bucky. You watched him as he slept peacefully, his hand over his shirtless chest and his chest slowly rising and falling. That “just this once” had turned into four times which you were sure he was happy with. You had to admit that you didn’t have that morning-after regret that you expected. Bucky had done such horrible things to you and yet he managed to bring you joy like no other.

You hated that you ran back after resisting for so long but, without Peter, you were once again feeling completely lost. Being with Bucky reminded you of simpler times and, despite the hell you knew it would bring, it was worth it just to feel that comfort.

Suddenly, you heard commotion coming from downstairs, glass shattering and Steve’s booming voice traveled through the air. You shook Bucky awake as you began to throw on some clothes, “Bucky, something’s going on!” You threw on some boots and Bucky put on a t-shirt before the two of you filed out of your room.

You heard your little girl wailing and you followed the sound. You found the front door wide open and quickly ran out of it. As you moved down the porched steps, the sight before you stopped your heart. Steve was holding Margot in one hand and a pistol in the other. A pistol that was pointing at a begging and pleading Sharon.

Bucky tried to grab your hand but you ran towards him, “Steve, what the hell are you doing?” Your eyes widened even more as you noticed that Margot had no clothes on except for a checkered dishtowel and her skin was wet.

Steve handed you the child but kept the gun pointed at the woman. By now, everyone had filed out of their homes and were watching the chaos, “She tried to drown our baby,” Was all he said, shaking with anger.

“I-I would never!” Sharon shouted back, her hands up as she laid on the gravel, “Please-”

“I fucking saw you!” Steve shouted back and you felt Bucky’s arm pulling you away. You stepped back with him, knowing that if the gun went off that you didn’t want Margot anywhere near it.

Your eyes connected with Sharon’s and there was only pure hatred there. She didn’t even look sorry for what she was being accused of, “I was helping! I was taking care of her! You know me, Steve!”

Steve didn’t believe her and you hated that you didn’t either. Was she really capable of something like this? All because of jealousy? Jealousy over a life that you didn’t even want.

“You weren’t even supposed to be in my house!” You watched as Steve cocked the gun, “You’re lucky I walked in when I did. If you had gotten away with hurting my little Margaret, I would’ve dismembered you piece by piece and I would've enjoyed it. Consider this a blessing.”

“Steve, don’t-” You pressed yourself into Bucky, trying to protect the crying child in your arms as the gun went off and the blonde woman fell limp.

Steve tucked the weapon into his belt, his muscle still tense, as he tried not to contain whatever emotions were coursing through him, “Early start today. Everyone get to work!” Steve shouted to every citizen who was listening, “And get her body off my fucking street!”

Silence fell over the small town of Liberty.

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know your thoughts and predictions!

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tsukishimaenthusiast · 4 years

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Oh ok! Could it be imagines with just atsumu and suna then? Thanks!!

atsumu and suna when their s/o ignores them as a prank

atsumu:

you recently saw a tiktok of a girl who secretly recorded her boyfriend for a day. the funny part was that she was purposely ignoring her boyfriend as a prank. she put together a bunch of clips of him complaining and getting sensitive from her silence. you had to try this with your boyfriend, atsumu. you were curious to see how he would react since his emotions could be all over the place.

you decided that your shenanigans will start at school since you and atsumu were in the same homeroom. every morning before classes started, he would chat with you. he always asked you if you slept well the night before and would sometimes tell you about a weird dream he had. fortunately for you, you had arrived earlier than atsumu today; you didn’t have to worry about him approaching you right away. you decided to sit at your desk and put in your earbuds. there was about ten minutes left before school actually started when atsumu finally walked in. he headed towards you with a smile. “good morning, babe. sleep well?” you just continued to stare off into space. he immediately raised an eyebrow at you, clearly not noticing your headphones. when he finally realized, he took your earbuds out. “y/nnn, stop listening to music and pay attention to me,” he whined. you stared at him and put your earbuds back in. atsumu is beyond offended by your actions. before he could say anything, the first bell rang and your teacher ordered everyone to go to their seats.

during class, atsumu sent you a text. “what’s the matter? why won’t you talk to me?” he watched you pick up your phone from the other side of the room to read the message. you read it, decided not to reply to your boyfriend, and turned your phone off. atsumu’s mouth drops open. “what the hell!?! i didn’t even do anything,” he thought to himself. you knew he was going to speak to you about this during lunch.

when lunch time came around, you grabbed your lunch and headed towards one of your friends. before you could sit down, atsumu grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the classroom to somewhere private. “what’s up with you today? is everything alright?” he looked concerned, you kind of felt bad for a second. again, you didn’t answer him. he crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling. you could tell he was getting mad. he looked down at you and spoke up, “y/n, are you mad at me for something? can you at least me what i did? if i even did anything at all..” you shook your head. that was the last straw. “fine, be that way!”, atsumu exclaimed. if you’re being honest with yourself, you were waiting that entire time for atsumu to snap and finally raise his voice.

atsumu didn’t go up to you for the rest of the school day. you expected this from him, though. you went on with your day and went home after school. you received a text from osamu on your way home. “did sumu and you fight today? he’s acting more annoying than usual.” damn, you didn’t want your boyfriend to start acting like an ass to other people because of the joke you’re playing on him. “not necessarily a fight, but he did get upset with me. i’ve been ignoring him all day as a prank.” you waited for a reply. “oh okay.. i’m sure i’ll hear allllll about it when we get home from practice.” poor osamu, he’s going to have to deal with his brother's complaints.

it was now night time and you were finishing up some last minute homework. your phone started ringing… atsumu was facetiming you. you answered and he was laying down in bed with the phone super close to his face. you almost laughed at the view. “y/nnnn. babyyy. talk to meee.” he was whining again. you knew he missed you. “please. i’m sorry for raising my voice at you before. osamu made me realize i was wrong for that. i just didn’t understand why you were ignoring me.. i got upset.” you started giggling and atsumu sat up from his bed. “y/n,” he said sternly. you smiled when he called your name. “you didn’t do anything, i was playing a prank on you.” you said, laughing like a maniac.

“ARE YOU KID- I KNEW IT!!! GOD YOU MAKE ME SO- UGHHH!!” you started dying of laughter even more at his sudden outburst. he kept pouting at you until you stopped. “babe, i’m sorry!” now he was the one not replying. “sumu~ c’mon, babe..” atsumu let out a deep huff. “tomorrow, you better give me extra kisses. you have to make up for the pain you caused me!” you chuckled, “okay, okay. i will.” he looked content now. “okay...good…..i love you.. say it back?” god, he was annoying, but charming. “i love you, atsumu.” and with that, he hung up the call.

suna:

recently, you’ve been in the mood to play a joke on someone. it’s been awhile since your last prank and your mischievous ways have been getting the best of you. you started thinking of your next victim... and who else would be better to mess around with than your boyfriend, rintarou! he always has the most peculiar reactions. you’ve only ever pranked him once or twice before, so coming up with an idea shouldn’t be too difficult. maybe you’ll go with a classic.. ignoring him! you two have school tomorrow, maybe you’ll make it an all day type of thing.

suna was already a quiet, somewhat reserved type; you weren’t sure how affected he’d be by your prank, but you decided to go through with it anyways. who knows, maybe he’ll snap or something. he was full of surprises. you kept this thought as you made your way towards school. you weren’t in the same homeroom as suna. you’d usually see each other in the mornings before class or during lunch, but you guys weren’t attached to each other’s hips, so if you didn’t see each other at school sometimes, it wasn’t a big deal. it’s wednesday today, though. the team doesn’t have practice after school. suna always walks you home on wednesdays and you guys usually hang out for a bit.

you arrived a little late to school today, barely making it to your first class. one of your friends told you that suna was in the room earlier, looking to see if you were at school already. eventually, lunch time came around and you received a text from suna. “y/n, my love. just found out i have a meeting for volleyball right now. i might be a little late meeting you for lunch, is that okay?” you read the text message and smiled. maybe now you can properly ignore him. if it were any other day, you’d respond right away. you have read receipts on, so he knows you purposely didn’t respond back. you saw him begin to type again, but stopped. within two minutes, another text was sent. “okay well if anything, i’ll see you after school.. love you.”

you kind of figured the meeting would take up the whole period, so you weren’t expecting him to see you yet. but now, it was the end of the day. you guys have a designated meeting spot around the block from your school, but you decided to really start having fun. you waited for suna in some random area within your school campus, you just wanted to be in some place where he couldn’t find you easily. your phone started ringing five minutes after school was let out but you decided not to answer and waited for a voicemail. “hey, did you leave already? you could’ve texted me or something… unless you’re hiding from me. *chuckle* call me back when you hear this message.” you sighed to yourself, suna was a smart kid. another five minutes passed and you decided to leave your current spot when heard someone running up behind you. “oh, there you are. why are you all the way over here?”, suna asked. you shrugged your shoulders as you started walking off campus. suna found it weird that you didn’t say anything, but followed behind you, nonetheless.

you two walked in silence for a bit. i mean, this is how you guys usually were, but you would’ve said something by now. instead, suna spoke up, “so how was your day?” he looked over at you just to see you looking down at your phone. “y/n??” you just simply looked at him, lips sealed, and faced forward soon after. in the corner of your eye, you saw him staring at you with a straight face. in a way, it felt like he was analyzing you, trying to figure out why you were acting so weird today. he didn’t try speaking up for the rest of the commute to your house. however, he did hold your hand, giving it an occasional squeeze every once in a while. it was a small gesture, but it made your heart swell.

when you finally arrived at your house, you both changed into some comfortable clothes and you started playing music. you began fixing your couch pillows when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind. suna nuzzled his head in your neck and kissed you behind the ear. “why aren’t you talking to me today, my love?” suna usually wasn’t touchy like this… and his voice sounded a little deeper, too. was he upset? “it feels like.. you’re ignoring me.. are you mad? is it cause i couldn’t see you at lunch? i didn’t think it’d be that big of a deal…” after hearing that, you lightly tugged his hair and turned your head to place a soft kiss on his lips. you felt his body become less tense. “i was ignoring you as a prank.. did it work?”, you asked. “yea.. i didn’t show it but.. you really had me worried.” you smiled up at him, “sorry, rin..” suna pulled you tightly into his arms and kissed you on your forehead.

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k-s-morgan · 3 years

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I have a question.

Is there a difference for you in terms of properly representing a selective group of people, whether that be race, ethnicity, identity and sexuality V.S. Survivors are of trauma, assault, psychological damage, mental illness and otherwise?

I know that you don’t mind people who romanticize dark events like rape, Stockholm syndrome or like incest (I’m not sure about that last one)Like do you not mind when people romanize rape or racism?

For me personally. I don’t mind people writing about dark elements of society. That is because it brings awareness to these serious issues in our society. I’m not so sure though about painting them in rose colored lenses or portraying it as something that is good. (Unless it usually from the victim’s warped perception)

I think a lot of things are interesting. Like your own stories. To me they don’t give out a message. Like yes this is an amazing relationship go do the same thing or this is something you should look for in a relationship/person! But some of the stories that are darker and portray like pedophilia and rape make it seem like ‘oh they really wanted it’ or ‘it’s okay, it’s not that bad’

I think those are dangerous messages to give out. Whether to children or adults. Because there is a thing like when you start off by put off by it, but the more you read things like that the more accustom to it and it becomes not as bad as a thing. Ya know.

That’s how like a lot of serial killers, rapists and other people start on the path to do those horrible things. It’s because they become accustomed to the message that it’s alright to do what they want.

Sorry for the long ask. But just wanted to ask your opinion on the matter because I see both sides of the argument and I want to find a middle ground. Ya know.

Hello! This will get a bit long, but I’d like to start with asking everyone: please don’t send me asks about the morality of fiction. While I can write essays on it, it’s not the topic that interests me and I don’t want to spend my time on it, no matter how genuine and respectful you are. I’m going to say everything I think about this subject in this reply, and that’s it.

Anon: I indeed don't mind romanization of such things as rape, age difference, incest, violence, and so on in fiction. These kinds of stories exist for adults only, and it's expected that adults can tell the right from wrong without having everything spelled out for them. In an ideal world, children shouldn't have access to fiction like this, but they are curious and easily bypass restrictions. In this case, the responsibility is on them and/or their parents. When I was about 11, I discovered the world of fanfiction. There were no tags then, and I readily clicked on "I'm 18" warnings to read the content I wanted. Some of it affected me badly - I still vividly remember the story where my favorite character was graphically raped, and it left me terrified and upset. With time, I learned how to recognize and filter such content, and it's especially easy now, when tagging has become commonplace.

There are indeed stories that portray very problematic things in a fluffy and positive way, though I'd say they are a minority. I read *a lot* of stuff and I probably saw just a few of them over my whole life. Even then, though, it is expected that adults read such content. And adults, along with most teenagers, won't decide that if one or even ten stories showed a fucked up relationship very positively, then it must be a good thing in real life. People are surrounded by parents, relatives, friends and their families, classmates, folks on the streets: this influence is far more profound than a story they might have read.

Fiction can reflect the society, but it doesn't direct it. Every day, we see the normalization of smoking, drinking, toxic masculinity, heteronormativity, and racism in movies, TV shows, cartoons, etc. But they are there because the society is like this. These things existed long before fiction as we know it started developing. At the same time, murders aren't normalized in the society at all no matter how many action, thriller, and horror movies we all see. And murders are shown much more often than incest, minor/adults, and abuse portrayed in positive light. So if nothing happened with the former, nothing will definitely happen with the latter.

Fiction can indeed have a small positive impact by normalizing things like equality. For example, it's natural for random female characters to kiss a male character. It's present even in 'Hannibal', where Chiyoh kisses Will and Bedelia kisses Hannibal out of blue, with nothing to really justify it. But it's almost unheard of male characters to do the same: if they do kiss other male characters randomly, it's usually within the "ewww, gross!" joking context. If things were to change, as they are slowly doing, if characters were allowed to interact equally regardless of their gender, then it could make an impact on the society. But fiction alone could never be responsible for it: same-sex marriages are being legalized. Punishments for homophobia start being enhanced. There are changes happening in the real world, and fiction is just a nice addition that helps solidify them.

There should be more diversity and more representation in fiction because it could aid in the positive practices that are already happening. But no matter how many stories feature romantization of violence, it's not and won't be accepted in the society because people have a general understanding of what is right and what is wrong.

There is also a big difference between fandom content and mainstream content. Someone's fanfic about romantic rape won't re-write the morals of a person. It's a work published for free and you can never guess what motivated the writer to create it. Mainstream fiction, on the other hand, is expected to show a little more care because millions are being poured into it and it has a far wider reach. POC and LGBTQ people already suffer from discrimination. If fiction further contributes to it, it's bad. If it chooses to contribute to the positive changes that take place, it's great. But everything still and always goes back to the real world.

Finally, serial killers don't become killers because they saw a message about it being okay in fiction. They were already fucked up and considering it, and they just wanted to find a justification. What you see in real life has a far bigger influence than anything you experience in fiction, and the numbers don't change. It's been decades from the moment violence started being glamourized, and the majority of population don't think it's okay to beat someone up. 80% of women have rape fantasies, but most people don't think they actually want to be raped. The same principle applies to every type of fiction out there. People with unstable minds, people who cannot differentiate between the real and the made-up, people who are easily triggered by dark material should not be consuming fiction of this type. If they do, the fault for that doesn’t fall on the shoulders of the creator, just like it cannot fall on producer of peanut cookies if a person with peanut allergy decided to eat them.

#personal #shipping #fiction #antis

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