#and so i went back to the haunted diner place n entered it as a human n went upstairs where i found the author in my dreams | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

versadies · 3 years

Note

Hey!!! How are you?

Congratulations on your 1k followers

Can I request aries + Kazuha + hc scenario + fluffy...?

Today is the last day of the event, I just saw it today, at least it wasn't after the event ended ;w;

⠀

I'm thinking about having a nickname to join the anon squad... Maybe 🇧🇷 anon? Your content came to a Brazilian person! Congratulations on your content reaching someone on the other side of the world :)

in the next life (hc scenario, reincarnation au)

penpal: hi hi, i’m doing great ty 🇧🇷 anon!! i’m so happy to know that my content has reached to the other side of the world 🥺🥺 i hope you like this <<3

prompt: aries the ram, red-string soulmate au

pairing/s: kaedehara kazuha x gn!reader

sypnosis: sometimes, happy endings can only happen in another lifetime. (or, hc on how you and kazuha met during the modern era of teyvat)

includes: slight spoilers to inazuma quests (2.0), fluff/slight angsty, reincarnation au, mentions of death, modern au, rushed ending

soulmates has always been one of the things that made teyvat special.

people had all collectively agreed that meeting their soulmate is one of the most treasuring moment, no matter how strange or hilarious the first encounter is like, no one should ever forget the once-in-a-lifetime moment.

with that said, most stories are usually soulmates– specifically how one meets their fated other. historical moments are no exception to this, such as an archon's first ever encounter with their soulmate during an annual rite, a forbidden love between an immortal being and a human, a sweet story of a soldier and a healer during a certain war, and the list goes on.

but where are stories that contains soulmates who had never met one another? or had a tragic fate that gave them no opportunity to get along with their soulmate anymore?

none.

some would say they'll meet in the afterlife, where they can live on in peace as the world goes on. while some would beg to differ and think that the two soulmates are just bound to not meet.

only little would suggest reincarnation.

and you and your beloved soulmate are one of those little people.

but you honestly didn't think that you and kazuha would be the soulmates with a tragic fate.

the both of you had met thanks to the resistance. when beidou decided to introduce kazuha to kokomi, he met you along the way– the right-hand-person of kokomi and his soulmate.

the both of you had instantly clicked when you met, the wide smile the both of you had appeared when you notice each other's red string being connected.

since then, you were inseparable.

on days when your assigned unit didn't need your assistance at the moment, you usually use those times to hung out with the samurai, often talking about each other's adventures and experiences with the best you can.

it was those days when you incredibly cherished the moments, making sure to remember every second of those moments you had with him before going on battles against kujou sara and her soldiers.

unfortunately for the both of you, the memories that you oh-so cherished would be the last one you'll ever make.

"see you in the next life... kaedehara kazuha," you whispered, staring at the samurai as the both of you lie down on the cold ground with soldiers fighting around the both of you, blood gushing out from your mouth. "whether it'd be in the next life or another, may celestia let us have another chance."

you watched as kazuha smiled lightly, his hand shakily trying to reach out to yours until he intertwines it together. "till we meet again, y/n."

as the war between the resistance and the raiden shogun continued, you and kazuha let out your one last breath before passing away.

much to you and kazuha's hopes, the war against the vision hunt decree won victoriously, with the raiden shogun lifting up the decree and brought inazuma back to its usual peaceful life before the decree.

of course, the resistance alongside the traveler paid respects to you and kazuha's passing, telling you that you and kazuha can rest now that they won.

as centuries flew by, teyvat had a major change among the nations. in this particular century, archons and visions had long been forgotten, with technology around the world being more advanced than before. as for soulmates? they still exist fortunately.

then there's you, a person who found joy in traveling around the world and tell the world about it. at least, that's what people think.

to you, you simply wanted to travel around teyvat to find a person named kaedehara kazuha.

recently, you started getting dreams of a man who goes by kaedehara kazuha. some were usually romantic that it gave you butterflies, some were conversations that you sometimes would forget, and of course, the dreams that often haunt you.

most dreams of yours were always lying down beside the man– who was bleeding to death. was this a sign of him dying? what is the purpose of these dreams?

you didn't know why this was happening to you. are you slowly going insane? or were you just overreacting?

whatever it was, you knew that deep down that it has something to do with your soulmate.

you went high and low around each nation you visited, often asking certain people if they've know a man named kaedehara kazuha, only to receive no useful information that could help you.

of course, your only source that could help you find him is the red string that connects you and your soulmate, following the direction it led you with hopes of it twitching as a sign that you're near.

unfortunately, none of the nations you've visited had no signs of who you're looking for.

your last stop is inazuma, a nation that's infamous for having beautiful firework shows and tourist spots. there's not a single place that isn't worth taking pictures of.

the moment you arrived to the nation using a boat,l you came across to a woman whose name is beidou.

"i don't know a man whose name has a kaedehara, but i have a son who coincidentally has the same name as kazuha!" she exclaims with a grin. "i don't think he's the one you're looking for though, i've never seen him hung out with someone like you or anyone else who isn't gorou."

you smile lightly at the woman, trying to not look disappointed. "i see.. thank you again, miss beidou."

she quickly waved you off. "good luck in finding the man you're looking for!"

the moment you immediately checked in ritou, you started exploring around the nation with no plans of stopping, hoping to see at least one person who looks like the man in your dreams or has their red string connected to your finger.

unfortunately, every area you've visited in the land, you still haven't found the end of the string, your hopes slowly dying down as time flew by.

you decided to explore more the next day, deciding to go back to inazuma city and have dinner in one of their infamous restaurants.

as you sat down on one of the stools while waiting for kanbei to cook your meals, you let out a disappointed sigh. if you couldn't find your soulmate anywhere, where could he be?

what if kaedehara kazuha doesn't exist at all? what if he died before you could even meet him and find out what's going on with your dreams?

you let out another sigh, rubbing the back of your neck in frustration. you hoped all of this wasn't a waste of your time. you honestly don't know what to do if you won't be able to find him at all, let alone what happens after you meet him.

unnoticed by you, your red string started twitching nonstop. a man suddenly enters the place, sitting down one seat away from where you are.

"rough day, kazuha?" kanbei asked, not bothering to look away from the pot as he continues to focus on cooking your meal.

"not exactly. i found a perfect spot to write haiku." the man, kazuha, replied.

as kazuha and kanbei continued conversing, you couldn't help but find yourself slowly drifting to sleep, now feeling the exhaustion from your exploration around the nation.

before you could completely pass out on the counter, you immediately woke up from the delicious smell of your meal, looking up to see the chef being finished with your meal already. perhaps the reviews weren't lying when they said this restaurant is fast with services.

you quietly thanked the chef when he placed the meal down in front of you, feeling your mouth watering at the sight of the delicious meal before digging up, still not noticing the red string twitching nonstop due to your focus on filling your hunger.

"thank you again, kanbei." kazuha speaks up as he grabs the packaged food from the chef's hands and hands over the payment.

"always happy to serve, kazuha. see ya tomorrow." kanbei said, watching as the man walks away from the restaurant.

out of curiosity, you glance at who you assume is beidou's son, only for your eyes to widen at the sight of the same man that you've been seeing in your dreams–

along with his red string connecting to yours.

without thinking, you immediately jumped down from your stool, staring at kazuha, who already walked out from the diner without a glance of your direction. "i'll be back and continue eating my meal. apologies for my rudeness!" you exclaim before running towards kazuha's direction without letting a single word come out from kanbei, who was confused at your words.

"kazuha!" you yelled, hoping kazuha would hear your voice despite the sounds of cars and people being loud around the both of you.

you tried to call for the man again, only for you to get frustrated when he still hadn't heard a word from you. was he wearing earphones?!

you immediately look down at your string and back at kazuha, hesitating for a moment before shaking the string aggresively. please, please, please look back! please look like you're him–

you sigh in relief when he finally noticed his string shaking, causing him to stop his trakcs and look behind him to see you running towards him like your life depends on it.

his eyes widens at the sight of you running towards him, your face was all too familiar for him to remember. it can't be, you only existed in his dreams!

the both of you suddenly remember certain memories the both of you didn't even knew you had. memories of which the both of you used to be in. memories of the both of you walking around the infamous serpent head as soldiers trained with all their might for the upcoming war, memories of the both of you watching the stars and wish for the resistance to win victoriously, memories of your past life that you and kazuha had forgotten.

that was enough for kazuha to run towards you as well, his arms suddenly spreading wide open for you to clashed into, dropping his food without a care.

the moment you and kazuha finally had gotten closer, you tackled the man into a hug as tears prickled in your eyes, ignoring the questionable stares the both of you received from people passing by.

"i found you." you whispered, closing your eyes shut as you let out a sound of relief. "after so.. so many months, i finally found you."

kazuha hugs you back, pulling you closer to his body as he sighs in relief. now that there's no more wars or something to run away from, the both of you can start anew and live the life the both of you had wanted back then.

"i missed you."

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staticscreenwriting · 3 years

Text

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes

One - When Harry met Sally

Synopsis: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. Growing up, Bucky had not a doubt in his mind that his undeniable charm and his gorgeous smile would one day help him find the one. Now he realizes there’s so much more to romancing women, especially those from the 21st century. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is not a love story. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for EP1 of TFATWS)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

“ Now in the movies they make it look so perfect And in the background they're always playing the right song And in the ending there's always a resolution But real life is more than just two hours long “

Some Avett Brothers song sounds from the little radio that sits on the corner of the counter. Thick drops of rain pearl against the window, racing each other down the glass before meeting up eventually and becoming one with each other.

(Y/N) refills the last of the mustard bottles, setting it on the counter next to the others. It’s a quiet night at the diner. The kitchen’s been closed for an hour now and usually, that’s when people stop coming in. While the Little Blue Diner is known for their hot dogs and burgers, neither their coffee nor their cold sandwiches are gonna win any prizes any time soon.

And yet …

Sure enough, as her eyes lift towards the figure slouched down in the corner booth, his gloved hand is already outstretched, signaling his desire for yet another refill.

A mixture between a chuckle and a scoff tumbles from her lips at the thought of him wanting more of the slightly burned liquid. If there’s one thing (Y/N) can admit to being bad at, it’s brewing coffee. Where there should be a rich brown color, hers usually ends up with an inky black hue and instead of leaving a hint of warm caramelization on your tongue hers just tastes bitter. It doesn’t seem to face the man in the corner though. Not even a little bit. To say this worries her is a bit of an understatement. No one in their right mind would take 7 refills of her witch's brew.

“ You okay, my dude ? “ (Y/N) inquires as she steps up to his table, coffee pot in hand.

The man doesn’t look up at her. He doesn’t have to. She’s acutely aware of the character currently occupying the corner booth. It’s a face she knows like the back of her hand. One that’s been staring at her from books and documentaries, one she’s been greeted by every time her dad took her with him to the Smithsonian. Though they do not dare look up at her, she’s so awfully familiar with the bright blue shade of his eyes, he might as well be a long-time friend.

“ I’m fine. “

Of all the lies in the world, “I’m fine” must be the most unbelievable one and yet the one told most often. No one who’s actually fine ever says those words. Those two words are reserved for the lonely and broken only. It’s like getting “I’m not fine at all” tattooed across your goddamn forehead.

“ Sure you are, that’s why you’re having the 7th refill of my god awful coffee. “

“ ‘s not that bad. “

“ Sure, if you’re into licking charcoal it’s probably not that bad. “

It’s just a split of a second, a fraction of a moment, but (Y/N) is sure she can see the corner of his lips lifting slightly. It falls back into the stoic scowl immediately but it was there. For a teeny tiny moment, there was the shadow of a smirk on his face and that’s a success in her book.

“ Either way, here’s how we’re gonna do this. I’ll give you one last refill, after that, I’m cutting you off, my friend. I know I’m a waitress and it’s my job to bring you what you want but I do not fancy watching you suffer a caffeine-induced heart attack in this very diner. I am not equipped to handle a situation like that and quite honestly they don’t pay me enough to deal with that either. “

His eyes are still trained on the scratched-up white linoleum table but ever so faintly he nods his head in silent agreement.

As promised, she pours him one last cup of coffee. A brew so dark it could rival the bubbling goo of a tar pit.

“ Enjoy your last cup of the night, Mr. Barnes. “

It’s then, as she’s just about to walk back behind the counter, as those words leave her lips, that he looks up for the first time since he’s walked in.

His eyes are the exact shade of blue she’s so familiar with but there’s something else about them. An infinite sadness haunts every spec of blue. Where she thought there would be a sparkle of adventure, a hint of mischief, there is just loneliness. This is not the man she’s read about in museums, heard about in stories. This man right here is completely and utterly lost.

“ I - I uh — “

He clears his throat, once, twice, then nervously brushes his hand across his face.

“ I can go if you don’t want me here. “

“ Huh? “

“ I asked if you want me to leave. “

As those words escape him, his eyes seem to grow even more devastated. They glimmer with memories of a time long gone and a future uncertain. Shine with hurt and fear.

“ Why would I ask you to leave? “

Bucky shrugs his shoulders in a way to make it look nonchalantly. It’s hard to seem casual though when you seem to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders.

“ People who recognize me usually aren’t so keen on having me around. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m uh — I’m not people’s favorite person. “

It’s a sad thought, (Y/N) realizes, to be constantly bound to a past that is yours but never really belongs to you. To be forever linked with the horrible actions of a version of yourself you had no control over. And no matter how hard you try to set it all right and to repent for your wrongdoings, to some people it will never be enough.

“ No, you don’t have to leave, “ (Y/N) reassures before sliding into the booth opposite him. “ I don’t know you because of — because of what happened. I know you first and foremost as Sergeant Barnes, former officer of the 107th Infantry Regiment, part of the Howling Commandos, and best friend and brother to Steve Rogers. Everything else that’s — none of my business really. “

Bucky lifts his eyes off of the table again and while the sadness is still there, something else lingers for a moment. Curiosity, intrigue maybe, or just relief.

“ Wow. Didn’t think I’d run into someone reciting my life to me. Huh. “

“ My dad used to be a curator at the Smithsonian. He was in charge of the Captain America exhibition. I’ve seen your face a million times, visiting him at work. I gotta say though, you look way more approachable and friendly on the picture they put up. “

This time, it’s more than a fleeting moment, this time she’s sure about it, this time he lets out an actual chuckle.

“ I was a lot younger then, okay? Cut an old man some slack. “

“ Oh, you pulling the old man card now? “

“ Is it working? “ he asks, eyebrows raised in question.

“ Not really. “

“ Ah, what a shame.”

Silence settles upon them again like a thick duvet filled with feathers, it’s not uncomfortable but it’s smothering anyway.

“ Do you wanna talk about it? Your sour mood, I mean.”

Bucky shrugs again “I have a therapist.”

“ Does she make you draw your feelings? “

He smiles again at that question. His smile, (Y/N) thinks, ain’t the worst thing she’s ever seen. She wouldn’t mind seeing it more often.

“ No. Why? “

“ Mine did. She stopped pretty quickly though, I guess my drawings were too detailed and gory for her.”

“ Huh. “

“ Mmmh.”

After another sip of coffee, one he takes without grimacing, without showing any sign of disgust for the burnt brew, Bucky speaks up again.

“ Mine thinks I’m lying to her. “

“ Are you ?”

“ Well yeah, but she doesn’t need to know that.”

“ Maybe telling her the truth would help you. “ (Y/N) suggests only to be met with a determined head shake No from Bucky.

The notification sound of a phone pulls them from their conversation and at the sight of the name on the display, Bucky lets an “oh shit” slip from his lips.

“ Don’t you sound excited about getting texts from your friends, “ (Y/N) jokes

“ I had a date last night. That’s her. “

“ Since she’s texting you I assume it went well. “

Bucky grimaces at her words, slightly shaking his head in disagreement.

“ No? “

“ I mean, I had fun and it went well — at first. She’s really sweet. But then we started talking and I may have run. “

“ Ran where? “

“ Away. “

“ Away as in you left. “

“ Mm-mmh”

“ Just like that? “

“ Yup. “

“ Why? “

He throws up his arms in frustration and shakes his head again as if to gather all his thoughts and rattle them neatly back into place.

“ I don’t know, okay? I haven’t been on a date since the 1940s. Everything I know about women and dating and romance seems antiquated. I’m overwhelmed and confused and I just don’t wanna do anything wrong.”

“ Dude, you ran from your date without any explanation. How much worse could you have handled it? “

“ Yeah well, hindsight is 20/20. “

While his words try to sound light and nonchalant, his shoulders tense and his whole demeanor seems to shift back into the gloomy state he’s been in since he entered the diner. Like a big cloud that’s following him around, casting shadows at all times and hardly allowing any light to shine through.

“ Look, I don’t think any of us know what the heck we’re doing half the time. Like, trust me I know what I’m talking about. Online dating means I have to choose between men who think posing with a dead fish will make me want to sleep with them, men who think knowing obscure Star Wars facts can replace having an actual personality, and men who send me pictures of their … privates without me ever giving any indication of wanting to see those. So yeah — dating can really s - be frustrating. “

Bucky regards her for a second, the right corner of his lips pulled into a lazy lopsided smirk.

“ Did you just censor yourself because you don’t wanna swear around me ?”

“ Maybe, but that’s beside the point. The point is, we’re all just human and in the end, we’re all just looking for someone to like us the way we are, all quirks and issues and baggage included. I know women might seem intimidating but really all we want is to be loved and appreciated. And not the over-the-top build-you-a-house, the notebook kind of love. More like the Harry and Sally kind.“

(Y/N) can almost see the gears working inside Bucky’s brain, the desperate attempt to make any sense of all the words and phrases she’s just thrown at him. A jumbled mess of pop culture references swirls through his head like a swarm of bees, chaotic and messy.

“ I have no idea what you just said. “

“ When Harry met Sally? “

Bucky just shrugs and shakes his head.

“ You’ve never seen it? “

“ I’ve been a bit preoccupied with being blipped away into oblivion for the last 5 years. So I haven’t really had the time to get into movies yet. “

This time it’s the gears in her own head that start turning.

“ What are you doing Friday night ? “ she asks, biting her lip in nervous anticipation.

“ I — I don’t know. “

That’s a bit of a lie, really. He does know. It’s the same thing he does pretty much every other day. He gets some takeout, brings it home, sits down in front of the tv, tries to get lost in whatever show they put on, fails at doing so, reads a few pages of a book, lays down to sleep, and then wakes up a little while later to yet another nightmare, tangled up in sweaty sheets, heart racing.

(Y/N) doesn’t need to know any of that though. He doesn’t tell his therapist so why would he tell a random stranger.

“ Well, don’t make any plans. We’re gonna kill 2 birds with 1 stone. “

“ We are? “

“ Yeah. Trust me on this one. “

“ I don’t even know you. “

“ Sure you do. “ (Y/N) says and taps the tag pinned to her baby blue polo shirt with the diner’s logo on the back. “ I’m the one who serves you just enough coffee to keep you happy but not have you die a painful and honestly mildly embarrassing death. “

Every part of him screams at him to say no. To stay away from her the way he does from most other people, even Sam. To get up and get out and not cause any more damage than he already has in other people’s life. But then he remembers his therapist's words, he remembers Leah’s face full of confusion and disappointment, he remembers the empty feeling in his chest. That feeling of pure and utter loneliness.

“ Alright, Friday works for me, (Y/N). “

“ Perfect, Bucky. “

“ Bring a jacket. “

The address and “Bring a jacket” that’s all she’s texted him. No explanation, no plan, nothing.

Bucks leans against the streetlamp, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. Anxiety is washing through his system like tidal waves on a stormy ocean. This whole being spontaneous thing was much easier back in the 40s. When his shoulders weren’t so heavy with guilt. When he didn’t have to constantly face the consequences of his actions. Consequences of a past he can never quite outrun no matter how far he goes and how hard he tries.

Maybe this is good, he has to remind himself. Getting out of his comfort zone, if that even exists for him. Opening himself up to new opportunities. Maybe even make a friend. (Y/N) seem nice enough, if a bit peculiar.

His shrink would be proud of him. Getting out there, talking to people, being approachable. This must for sure earn him some kind of gold star equivalent in her notebook.

“ Hey there, Mr. Grumpyface. “

(Y/N)'s voice cuts through the chilly New York night like headlights through thick fog. She strolls towards him, lips pulled into a big bright smile. Leading up to tonight he’s spent quite a lot of time wondering if this is some kind of project for her, if maybe she sees him as a sort of charity case. Something to earn her karma points. It wouldn’t be the first time. But the genuine joy radiating from her face lets those worries melt away instantly.

Maybe, Bucky thinks, she really just thinks he’ll make a good friend. And maybe he can.

“ Hi, (Y/N). “

“ You brought a jacket” she points out, pinching the black leather between her fingers. Her nails are painted in various shades of red, each finger a different hue.

“ I did. You told me to. “

“ And you listened! “

“ Why wouldn’t I ? “ Bucky inquires, a look of confusion settling on his face.

“ You wouldn’t believe how many men think wearing a jacket when it’s cold out somehow clashes with their need to demonstrate their masculinity. “

“ Wow. “ he exclaims.

“ Yeah. So anyway, you ready to go up? “

She nods her head towards the house across the street. It’s a slim multiple-story brick building with rusty fire escapes. It looks like a residential lot, not much else that could give away (Y/N)’s plan for the rest of the night.

“ Up? “

“ Mm-mh. “ (Y/N) nods and motions towards the top of the building. “ to the roof. “

“ The roof? You’re not planning to push me off or anything, right? I don’t usually spend time with strangers on rooftops. “ he tells her, a smirk lifting the sides of his lips.

She grants him a smile in return. One of those that you try so hard to suppress but despite your best efforts they find their way onto your face anyway. Because some smiles demand to be smiled. And her smile is pretty cute, he thinks, it deserves to be seen.

“ Foiled again, damn Bucky. I’m a waitress with a useless degree in literature and creative writing but assassinating you was exactly what I had planned for tonight. Couldn’t let me have that one, huh? “

“ Sorry to spoil all the fun. “

She softly bumps her shoulder against his right side as she passes him and crosses the street. Her red skirt flutters around her knees like a ribbon of fire, bright and warm and —

“ You coming, grumpy ?”

“ Yeah uh — yeah sure. “

The walk upstairs is filled with chatter from her and nodding from Bucky. It’s been like this most of the time since — well since he’s really back. Other people usually do the talking and Bucky listens. It works most of the time. Works with Yori. Sometimes though, sometimes it doesn’t. He can see people getting frustrated with him. Hell his own therapist does and she knows the baggage he has to carry around.

This is different though, (Y/N) doesn’t seem to mind much. She’s a waterfall of words and topics and doesn’t seem to get bored or annoyed with him. It’s nice.

A heavy iron door swings open as they reach the top of the building and as soon as they step out onto the rooftop balcony they get engulfed in an ocean of lights. They’re strung from one end of the roof to the other and back again. Next to the door, a little makeshift bar is set up, and a guy in a Star Wars shirt hands out beers to people.

Multicolored deck chairs and beanbags are haphazardly placed across the entire roof, all pointing towards the corner furthest away from the door where a big white sheet hangs spanned between two poles.

“ Sooo you gonna tell me what we’re doing here? “ Bucky asks again as (Y/N) steers him towards a cluster of chairs in the back.

“ Some peeps I went to university with, set up movie screenings here every once in a while. I could pull some strings and got to choose the movie. “

“ We’re gonna watch a movie? “

“ Not just any movie, “ she exclaims and drops down onto one of the plastic deck chairs that looks like it used to be bright pink once but is now but a bleached blush colour from being exposed to the sun too much. “ We’re watching when Harry met Sally. “

Bucky slumps down on the chair next to her, a blue one with white daisy patterns.

“ Me not knowing this movie really does bother you, huh? “

“ It’s a classic, might as well start with this one. And anyway, maybe this can help you get back into the dating game. Ya know, help you understand modern romance. “

“ You think so? “

She shrugs and starts fumbling around in her bag, “ I dunno. It might. And if it doesn’t at least you’ll spend your time watching a good movie and get to experience the blessing of my company. Ah-ha! There you go “

Her hand reaches out holding a bag of M&Ms.

“ I brought snacks. “

More and more people start occupying the chairs and bean bags and a few minutes later a guy steps up in front of the sheet. He’s wearing a shirt with a black and white bird pattern, huge glasses with a brown frame, and jeans that don’t cover his ankles. He’s tall and lanky and his hair is so messy, Bucky wonders if it’s intentional or if he just hasn’t brushed it in a while.

“ Hi guys, I’m Andrew. For those of you who don’t know me, I live in apartment 2B and I just wanna say thank you for showing up and welcome you to our movie night under the stars. A few days ago we received a special request from one of our good friends and because she let me stay on her couch for several months back during our college days and I still owe her for that I couldn’t reject her request. So thanks to Miss (Y/N) over there in the pink chair you now get to spend the next 90 minutes watching Meg Ryan fall in love with Mike Wazowski. Enjoy. “

As he steps away from the sheet, the lights are turned off and the MGM logo pops up on the screen.

“ Trust me, Bucky. This one’s so good.” (Y/N) assures before throwing some M&Ms into her mouth, now entirely focused on the movie.

It takes a while for Bucky to relax. Being around so many people and not having any fear of what’s lurking around the corner is still very new. Letting go is never as easy as it sounds. Eventually though, his nerves settle down a little and as the movie progresses, he finds himself relaxing more and more. Something he hasn’t done in a long time. Not since Wakanda.

Exactly 46 minutes into the movie, (Y/N) lets her eyes wander to her left where Bucky, until now, sat slumped into his seat. Still perpetually grumpy but more chilled out and relaxed than she’s seen him before. Until now. A moaning Meg Ryan visible making him uncomfortable.

“ You okay, grumpy? “

He doesn’t grant her a real answer, just scoffs and rolls his eyes. There’s a smile though, she’s sure. Somewhere hidden there is another smile.

“ So, what did we learn today? “

Bucky looks at (Y/N) who has her arms wrapped tightly around her middle shielding herself from the chilly night air. The movie night has ended a while ago and the two of them are slowly strolling along the New York City streets on the way back to (Y/N)’s apartment.

“ To take your own advice and dress warmer for a movie night? “

(Y/N) chuckles. “ No, grumpy. I meant the movie. “

He shrugs at her question. Quite honestly he hasn’t learned anything new. Nothing about the movie seemed in any way revolutionary to him nor does he see any benefit for himself and his dating life going forward. But the way she looks at him right now, expecting something grand not from him really but some beautiful consequences to her ideas, that makes him reconsider. Sure he could tell her that it was just a silly little movie about people falling in love but that would no doubt hurt her, even a tiny little bit. And if there’s anything Bucky has enough of, it’s hurting others.

“ I guess that men and women really can not be friends. “

“ Noooo! No. Is that really what you took from this movie? “

“ That’s literally what happened. “

“ Okay first of all it works, look at us! We’re friends! Second of all, that’s not what the movie is really about. It’s about love and vulnerability. It’s about overcoming all the tiny things that can work against you and your relationship. Like distance and timing and egotism. It’s about hiding who you are because really opening up to someone, being your authentic true self with all your faults and imperfections, that makes you vulnerable. And being vulnerable is fucking scary. But love is worth it anyway. That’s what the movie is about. “

As Bucky noticed before, some smiles demand to be smiled. They need to be smiled because they’re important and they mean something. The one gracing his face now, that’s one of those. One of those you remember because you feel them all the way in your heart.

“ You think we’re friends? “

“ Oh, are we — are we not? “

“ No. I — no, we are! I’d like to be friends. “

(Y/N) abruptly stops in her tracks, turns towards him, and holds out her hand. “ To friendship.”

“ We’re shaking hands on it? What is this, a business deal? “

“ You know what, yeah now that you mention it that’s pretty lame. “ (Y/N) agrees, balling her hand into a fist “ how about a fist bump, bro? “

Bucky reluctantly knocks his right hand against hers before continuing his walk down the street. “You call me bro again I’m canceling the friendship. “

“ Alright. Noted. “

“ So have you talked to the girl again? “

“ Hmm? “

“ The one you went on a date with? “

“ Oh, Leah. Uh — no.”

“ Why not? “

Bucky throws her a look. One that says “are you kidding me?”. One that says “ you know why.”

“ Cause I ran out. That’s embarrassing. She’s gonna think I’m insane. She’s never gonna wanna see me again. “

“ I sincerely doubt that. You just gotta say sorry. I know in Love Story — that’s a novel and also a movie from the 70s — they say that ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry but that’s a load of bull. Just say sorry and ask her for a do-over. “

“ And then what? We play a rematch of battleships and talk about my trauma? “

“ Well, what did you do on dates in the 40s? “

That time, his youth, that seems like a different life altogether now. So much happened between then and now and the man he is now, has no relation to the boy he was then. Sometimes looking back hurts, makes it painfully obvious what he’s lost. But sometimes, like tonight, he can feel a hint of fondness coursing through him at the thought of times long gone.

“ Dancing, mostly.”

“ Like, ballroom dancing? “

“ Swing. “

“ You swing dance? “

“ I did. “

(Y/N) regards him through squinted eyes “ really? “

“ You don’t believe me? “

“ I don’t know. You don’t strike me as a dancer. “

Not a second later, Bucky’s gloved hand grabs onto her’s and twirls her towards him then away from him and back in.

“ You twirled me! “

“ Mm-mh.”

“ I’ve never been twirled. That’s so fun. “

It’s like autopilot taking over as Bucky holds onto her, twirling her again then pulling her in and swaying them in a circle. It’s not swing dancing, not even close but there’s no music either, and anyway, his dancing days are over. But sometimes you gotta make a point and if that means slow dancing in the middle of an empty street then that’s that.

The night wraps them in a blanket of comfort and intimacy as the stars and the New York skyline try to outshine each other. It’s a moment so peaceful, Bucky can’t remember the last time his heart felt so light, his mind felt so at ease, his entire being got to let go and just be alive and in the moment.

And then the shine of headlights rips them from their moment and makes them jump back onto the sidewalk.

“ Get off the road you fucking morons! “

“ Gotta love the big city folk. “

“ Yup. “

“ Hey, Bucky.”

“ What? “

“ You really can dance.”

“ Told you. “

“ Can I tell you a secret? “

“ Sure. “

“ I can’t dance for shit. “

“ That so? “

“ Yup. Which means you gotta teach me. “

“ Absolutely not.”

“ Oh, 100%! “

“ We’ll see about that.”

There are nights you try to forget. Nights that you wish to never ever remember. Ones that break you. That beat you down and leave you bruised and battered.

Then there are nights like this one that you want to hold onto for just a little bit longer. Those that fill you with joy and an immeasurable thirst for life. The ones that make you feel grateful to be alive right here and now.

The inevitable end of the night creeps closer as they arrive at (Y/N)’s front door. Neither of them really want to say goodnight but both know there’s no use in delaying it.

“ I hope you didn’t hate the movie too much, “ (Y/N) speaks up, leaning against the front door of her apartment complex.

“ No. It was fun! Although I still don’t know who Mike Wazulsky is. “

“ Mike Wazowski, he’s — you know what? That’s a conversation for another time. “

“ Alright, if you say so. “

“ Thanks for walking me home. “

“ Oh, yeah no need to thank me. It’s the right thing to do. “

For a moment they just stand and smile, trying to cherish the last few moments of this night.

“ We should do this more often. “ Bucky suggests, surprising even himself.

“ For sure. I still have so many movies to show you. “

“ Can’t wait. “

A slight sense of awkwardness falls over them as neither of them knows what to do. Go for a hug? Shakes hands? Wave goodbye?

“ I uh — I should go. “

“ Yeah, of course. Have a good night, Bucky.”

“ You too, (Y/N).”

“ Oh and Bucky? “

“ Yes? “

“ Give Leah a call. “

Bucky nods his head before turning around and walking back into the night.

As he takes the way back to his own home, there are only two things on Bucky’s mind: the vulnerability of falling in love and the question of who the hell Mike Wazowski was.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #mcu imagine #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x f!reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction

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julemmaes · 3 years

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Pinky Promise - Chapter Five

A/N: I want to dedicate this chapter to @queenestarcheron whose comments literally give me life and the main reason I’m writing this story basically. I’m sorry for this chapter and I really feel like this is just the start where everything goes bad and then bad and then bad and uuugh I’m sorry

I wrote this whole chapter listening to Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic and idk, if you like to hurt like I do I’ll advice you read it with the song on repeat;)

Fic masterlist

Word count: 5,659

Nesta had only been awake for ten minutes and already felt all the fatigue that Monday would bestow upon her. She was staring at the ceiling counting the seconds until she had to get up and get ready to go to work and when the phone started vibrating for the third time that morning, Nesta huffed and went to the bathroom.

The headache was completely gone and it seemed as if she hadn't gone through all the pain that had caused her to be unable to walk last night. She just hoped that it wouldn't come back to haunt her, because the idea of being as vulnerable in front of everyone again as she had shown herself the night before at such a delicate moment in her life gave her goosebumps.

Elain had left her some kind of medicine on the kitchen table with a yellow post-it on top of it said 'I hope you're feeling better. I bought them for you, so put them in your purse before you go out.' with two little hearts drawn around an elegant E.

She was trying not to make too much noise to wake her sisters when she heard a grunt coming from the living room. She froze with the kettle in her hand and arched her eyebrows, walking slowly towards the sofa.

There, lying without restraint on the cushions, was Cassian. He was wearing one of his pyjamas that he kept in the apartment and held one of the pillows that she always used to his chest. He kept his neck bent in a uncomfortable position and she knew that she should have moved his head to avoid him a despicable stiff neck, but even the risk that he might wake up and hover over her, following her all over the kitchen as if she could collapse at any moment prevented her from feeling pity for the man.

She remained to look at him for a moment too long, hand on her hip and the desire to put her lips on his rosy and fleshy ones.

If she lingered too much, she would not be able to leave the house.

Closing the kitchen door behind her, she had breakfast quietly, preparing some cold rice and leaving three equally full containers for the others. Elain would work all day, Feyre would have classes overlapping and she would not be able to find a minute to eat, forgetting all about it, and Cassian would be on shift at the bar and would end up eating the first thing that came his way and he already ate enough leftovers from his customers to pass up a fried meal for once.

She passed in front of the living room and opened the door with her bag on her shoulder. She looked at the sofa and could only see Cassian's toes and puffed, irritated with herself. She quickly laid the stuff on the floor and approached him, taking his head in her hands and arranging it in such a way that he wouldn't be paralyzed by the pain as soon as he woke up.

Cassian moved grimacing and put his head back in the previous position. Nesta frowned, "Why don't you ever do what I fucking tell you? Not even in your sleep," she whispered slowly.

***

"Nesta?" Clare seemed shocked to see her come in through the back door, "What on earth are you doing here?"

Nesta looked around, genuinely confused by what was happening, "It's Monday, isn't it?" then slumped, groaning, "Oh god, did I get the days wrong again?"

Clare shook her head, "No, no, it's Monday and you're on time," she said as she approached her. Nesta sighed. "Only, Cassian sent me a message late last night saying that you were really very sick and that you wouldn't be able to make it," she explained, smiling at her.

She probably thought it was sweet and nice that her centenarian boyfriend took such good care of her that he felt compelled to call her work and take the day off.

Sometimes she was amazed at how much Cassian didn't seem to know her at all.

Then she closed her eyes, thinking how wrong what she had just said was.

No one knew her better than he did, and if he had called his boss to take the day off it meant that she had been really sick the night before.

She shook her head, taking one hand to her forehead, "I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine."

From behind one of the shelves, Emerie appeared with a mountain of books in her arms. As soon as she saw her, she wrinkled her forehead, "You look like shit," she said to her as a greeting, still continuing to place the new arrivals on the shelves, "Shouldn't you be at home resting?"

"Did he text everyone?" Nesta asked, opening her arms wide.

Clare shook her head no, "No, but he sent me a very long message and sounded very worried," she shrugged, "I thought it was something serious. I would have sent you a message mid-morning, I didn't want to risk waking you."

Emerie agreed with her, going back to the other room to get more books.

"It's all a mess and he shouldn't have sent you any messages," sighed Nesta, walking towards the staff room and raising her voice a little, "It's been a very long week and I have to tell you many things, if we don't have too many customers I can do it even before lunch."

Emerie appeared almost running into the little room where they took their lunch breaks and where they rested when people were not too numerous. Her eyes were wide open and there was an amused glint there, "I can't believe it," she snorted, "The longest lasting couple in history fought."

Nesta glanced at her, but said nothing. Emerie smirked.

"Wait Nes!" they heard Clare screaming, who arrived with a box that must have weighed more than her. Emerie raised an eyebrow and Clare looked at her frowning, "I couldn't hear what she was saying...".

Nesta snickered, "Don't worry, you were just missing Em fucking with me."

Clare walked up to the middle of the room, placed the box on the table and started to open it, "So?" she spurred her to speak.

"It's a really long story and knowing you, you wouldn't survive if we were interrupted halfway through the story." Nesta seemed hesitant and the two girls exchanged a quick and confused look.

Emerie stepped forward, "How serious is this?"

Nesta looked her in the eye for a few seconds, "A I-don't-know-if-we're-still-together kind of serious." she nodded, reducing her lips to a thin line.

"Holy shit." whispered Clare.

Emerie opened her eyes wider and suddenly became serious, "Did he cheat on you?" she didn't even give her time to answer, "Because if he cheated on you I'll take a day off and go kill him."

Nesta chuckled, despite everything, "He didn't-" then stopped, thinking that what he had done had been a betrayal anyway. She shook her head.

"That's a start and I can cross the killing off my list," said the friend, offering her a half smile.

Clare seemed as shocked as Amren when she had told her that Cassian wanted to enlist. Nesta felt sick at the idea of having to ruin her day with such sad information and regretted a bit that she had introduced the topic.

Emerie clapped her hands, waking everyone up from that trance they were stuck in, "As much as I love teasers and all that crap there, if you're not going to tell us now we'd better get back to work, because in-" she looked at the clock on the wall, whimpering, "sixteen minutes we have to open and we won't have even a spare second to sort out the last releases."

"Shit," said Nesta all of a sudden, "it's the 12th, isn't it?"

Emerie nodded, completely knocked down by the information.

"I'd say it's time to get to work," murmured Clare.

Without saying a word, they all walked towards the "fantasy young adult" section. They marched as if it was their last hour and were about to be hanged in the square. And it actually was a little bit so, because the last book of the most acclaimed saga would be released and none of the three were ready psychologically to welcome the hordes of people who would enter the store that day.

Clare had thrown worried looks her way all morning and Emerie hadn't offended her more than twice, which was weird, because she never missed an opportunity to toss them insults or make puns.

This was bothering Nesta.

Her mood had even worsened when around noon, Cassian had called and then sent her a message when she had not answered:

"Are you completely insane? Where are you?"

Those words had made her arms itch with anger.

"If you're at work, stay there, I'll pick you up and take you home."

And then again:

"What made you think going out when you were practically dying in pain last night was a good idea? You need to rest and let your body recover."

To that, Nesta had apologized to the client she was serving and sent a quick response:

"Don't you dare come and get me or I swear to god Cassian this is the time I'm going to get seriously mad. I don't want to fight about this too. I woke up, I was fine, I went out. Period."

When he hadn't replied, Nesta had sent another message:

"I need a distraction and I need the money. Don't come."

Cassian sent her a simple, "Alright, sorry. See you." and she went back to work.

She hadn't failed to notice, however, that he hadn't written his usual love you at the end of the message.

Now, Emerie was looking at her with fiery eyes and Clare had stopped eating, one hand in front of her wide open mouth.

"Are you joking?" Emerie seethed with rage.

Nesta shook her head, sighing, "The worst thing is that I can't reason with him."

Clare placed the cutlery in the plastic container, "And his brothers? Az?"

Her colleagues had met the magnificent trio when she had started working at Clare's mother's bookshop soon after her father's death. They needed money and both she and Elain had found a job almost immediately, Elain in a small diner on the same street as their apartment and Nesta in that magical place. Cassian and Azriel used to pass by practically every day she worked to bring her food - considering how many times she forgot to take care of herself because of the mess that was her life - and it didn't take Clare and Emerie more than half a second to realize that there might be something between her and the younger of the two boys. They had had the opportunity to get to know the others in the group during the various birthdays and parties, but they had never had a very close relationship with Rhysand. Probably because she herself had never gotten beyond seeing him as her boyfriend's brother.

Looking at her two best friends at that moment, she realized that whatever she decided to do with Cassian, they would support her, because they were there when it had all started and they would be there when it would end. Whether it was in two days or seventy years.

"Azriel knew it and didn't tell me anything for a month." Nesta confessed, picking at her nails.

Emerie snorted, "That fucker."

"I said the same thing," smiled Nesta, "but he was actually only respecting what Cass demanded and it's not his fault my boyfriend is dumb."

"This may be a low blow, but have you tried calling his mother?" asked Clare, looking more and more upset.

Nesta tilted her head to the side, "I don't know if she knows..." she rubbed her hands on her arms, trying to whip off some of the frost in the room, "And I don't want to be the cause of the heart attack she's going to have in case she doesn't know and I barge into her living room saying 'Hey, help me convince your son not to enlist'."

"Then you really should go and tell her everything," said Emerie, leaning forward on the table, "If she really doesn't know, she might be so shocked that she reacts so strongly and convinces Cassian to give up."

Clare looked at her with her mouth open, "What are you talking about, you pshyco." she muttered.

Nesta nodded, "Yeah, the fuck. I'm not trying to kill Vera."

Emerie seemed offended, "I'm just saying that if she has an excessive reaction-"

"Which would not be excessive for such a thing." mumbled Clare.

"-you might not have to do anything and leave it to the woman to beat him."

Emerie seemed offended, "I'm just saying that if she has an excessive reaction-"

"Which would not be excessive for such a thing." mumbled Clare.

"-you might not have to do anything and leave it to the woman to thrash him."

Nesta stood up, shaking her head and throwing the lunch papers, "No, I'm not going to betray him like that."

Clare was still looking at Emerie as if she had four heads, "Who hurt you?" she whispered, "Like, that's the sickest thing I've ever heard in my life."

Emerie's features softened as always when she addressed their boss, "Right? That's sick!" she exclaimed smiling.

"I didn't mean it like that," said Clare, "I meant that that's literally the best way to completely ruin things with your partner." then she turned to Nesta, "Please don't go to Vera."

Nesta raised a hand, "That was absolutely not my intention." she said, "And what's more, this is still fresh between me and him and we haven't really talked about anything yet," she said.

Emerie interrupted her, "Well, actually you've been fooled with the whole enlistment process explaining. That's the last thing you should have done."

Nesta frowned, "What do you mean?"

"He's probably thinking you've already accepted it. If you only asked about the first part, that means you can discuss the rest later, once he's finished training."

Clare grimaced, "It shouldn't be like this though. And I don't think Cassian thinks Nesta accepted."

Emerie reached out to the girl, touching her arm with a knowing smirk on her lips, "I've read enough romance novels to know the situation is worse than it seems.

Nesta would normally be annoyed that the people in the room were talking about her and their lives as if she wasn't there, but she seriously needed an outside view of all that mess.

"This isn't one of your books, we're talking about Nesta's life," Clare pointed out to her, looking slightly annoyed.

"Fiction mimics reality." she shrugged, then turned to Nesta, "I'm just saying that before talking about what he's going to have to do specifically to get in, you had to discuss what it will all involve." Emerie stared her in the eye, more serious than ever, "The problem Nesta, it's not the present, it's not the fact that he will have to run and eat well for the next two months and that he will have to stay out for two days to do tests on tests. I'm sure you don't give a damn about all the acronyms of names either," said the friend getting up, "The problem will be that you will have to stay months, years, away, when you have been inseparable in the last ten. I don't remember a time when you have been apart for more than three days".

Clare nodded and Nesta' head was starting to hurt.

"You got sick because you spent two days without him while you were thinking about whether or not to leave him. You got sick from the stress." the girl pointed out to her, "And tell me, who took you home? Who took care of you?" she asked, "I'm not trying to hurt you or fight with you, but with everything that's going on right now, you need to sit down and write a list of things you're going to have to start doing on your own. Before he leaves."

Clare squinted, "Em, maybe we should stop-"

"Not because you are not capable or because you are not independent, Nes. We all know very well how strong you are, but there are things, there are daily habits that will have to change completely."

Nesta knew that.

But there were so many things to discuss. So many aspects to see together with Cassian.

She felt a lump in her throat. Emerie had always been cheeky with her and she knew that she was doing it for her own good, that she would tell her everything that any other person was too shy to admit. Or that they took for granted.

But for Nesta at that moment, nothing was taken for granted and she couldn't think of anything.

"And even though he keeps saying it's not a suicide mission, he doesn't know. He can't afford to say things like 'I won't die', 'I'll come back safely, 'nothing will change'. Because it's just bullshit and you can't let him think that," concluded Emerie.

She just wanted to cry. And scream.

"It's difficult." Nesta sighed trembling.

Clare stood up at that point, going over to her and putting her hand on her arm and giving Emerie a stern look. She took a deep breath, "I know, I realize it's not easy, and that's why you have to talk. That's why you can't leave discussions halfway open and not pick them up the next time. If you do that, you convince him that that topic is closed and that you accept it as such."

Nesta bit the inside of her cheek and, ironically, the conversation ended there.

They remained silent for the rest of the lunch break and then Nesta said goodbye to them, having to go to class.

She had not even left the bookstore, that she had already dialed Cassian's number on the phone. It only took two rings before he picked up.

"Hey, sweetheart," he trilled, "everything okay?"

Nesta gritted her teeth, feeling the tears swell in her eyes. She heard Cassian moving on the other side of the phone, "Nes, are you alright?" he sounded worried by the tone of his voice. She closed her eyes, stopping next to her car. She couldn't speak.

"I'm probably talking to myself, but babyy!" he yelled into the microphone, making her flinch. He sighed deeply, and Nesta imagined him as he settled back into bed to rest a few minutes before he went to work too.

The sound of the call ending set her off and with frantic movements she managed to open the car and get into it, driving towards the university. She received a message just as she started driving and didn't allow herself to check what he had written until she was in front of the engineering building.

The text read "Baby did you buttdial me or couldn't I hear you? Anyway, call me if you need anything, love you."

She was about to lose her whole life and heart, wasn't she?

"Buttdialed you. I need to talk to you."

She didn't even had to wait for a reply, the three dots already there the second she pushed 'send'.

"Tomorrow?"

Nesta did not answer, not knowing whether seeing him the next day would be a blessing or a condemnation and thought. And thought.

And thought.

She thought during class and while walking from one lesson to the next.

Was she the one who was in the wrong?

Was Feyre right? Maybe she should have let Cassian's career take its course.

Maybe their relationship didn't start to last. Maybe Nesta would have found someone else.

She parked her car in front of her apartment, seeing that the kitchen lights were on, while the Spacecraft Structures and Mechanisms lesson was playing out in her head.

She dropped her head against the steering wheel, trying to swallow the emotion and not to burst into tears.Couldn't he have waited for her to get her master's degree before dumping this into their lives? She could have handled it much more easily if she hadn't also had the stress of exams. Or maybe not.

The phone rang and Nesta almost screamed for the scare. She grabbed it and saw that it was Feyre and wrinkled her forehead, looking up at the window on the second floor. She saw both sisters looking at her laughing and felt that some of the heaviness she had gathered during the day eased up. She smiled at them, refusing the call and getting out of the car.

The second she entered the home, she was enveloped by the warmth of the small apartment and the smell of what she knew very well was their mother's old macaroni and cheese recipe.

Feyre arrived running in front of her, followed by a festive Elain who appeared shortly afterwards. They were both smiling as if it was Christmas morning and she relaxed even more.

"Are you okay?" asked the little one. She knew it wasn't worry, what she heard in her voice, more the desire to know how her day had gone and Nesta nodded, yawning.

Elain flapped her hands in excitement, "Can we eat now?

She grinned, taking off her jacket and shoes, "I'm going to put on my pajamas, you start without me."

Feyre squeaked with happiness and ran to the kitchen and Nesta was relieved to see her so relaxed. Monday had a completely exhilarating effect on her little sister. Feyre basically only had labs that day and could get completely lost in painting for hours and hours and it was forbidden to use phones in art classrooms, so she wasn't really distracted by calls or messages.

She heard Elain speak loudly and warned her that she had to tell what she had missed the night before at Mor's. When she returned to the kitchen, she sat down and smiled at everything she was told, commenting on each thing with the right calculated expressions and perfect exclamations when needed, but she felt empty, numb.

She went to bed early, saying that she still had to recover from the headache the day before, but when she woke up the next morning, she did not feel better. She didn't feel anything at all.

The conversation she had had with Emerie had upset her and she could not understand why. Her friend hadn't told her anything she didn't already know.

She felt like she was just going through the motions, studying all morning and memorizing stuff on her books and manuals and when she had to leave home after lunch to go to work, she didn't even know who she was anymore.

Tuesday was Emerie's day off thankfully, and at the bookstore was just her, Clare and Matthew, one of the students who, like her, needed some money to get away from home and a temporary job. He and Carlos had been working in the store for so few weeks that Nesta didn't even know their last names and was surprised to be able to remember the boy's name.

Clare had asked her how she felt several times and Nesta had not answered, not even able to speak without risking breaking down completely.

***

"Cassian." murmured Nesta, lying on the sofa, wrapped in a wool blanket. Turning the fabric in her hands she almost smiled, remembering the Christmas when Vera had gifted it to her, "Where are you?"

"I didn't know if you'd want me and I stayed home, but I'll be there in five minutes if you-"

"I need you," she said in an even smaller voice. They were used to spending Tuesday nights at her house watching a movie and when she came home and hadn't found him, there had been a moment of panic when she assumed something bad had happened.

Cassian moved on the other side of the phone, "Nes, I-" he stopped, "I know this is not a good time and there are a lot of things that are upsetting you about this whole situation, but," he took a deep breath and Nesta closed her eyes, resting her head on the armrest of the sofa, "I can feel that you are unwell for other reasons and it hurts me not to be able to do anything about it, so I offer you one thing," he said in a serious voice.

"I just need you here." whispered Nesta, more exhausted than ever, "I'm tired and I'm angry and I need my boyfriend, you don't have to offer me anything, Cass, I just need you to come here and pretend that everything is about to change." Nesta's words broke at the end and she swore faintly, cursing herself for being so compliant when it came to Cassian.

"My offer was the same." he pointed out, "Do you want me to stay on the phone while I come?" he asked her. She heard the sound of keys and a door being slammed and was relieved to learn that he would arrive in less than twenty minutes.

She shook her head, "No, I don't want you on the phone while you're driving, you know it."

"Yeah, I know," he chuckled, "Alright, see you in less than the blink of an eye."

She smiled and the second the call ended, she regretted not accepting his proposal to stay and talk.

She must have fallen asleep, because when she opened her eyes, Cassian was kneeling in front of her and was looking at her with a grieving expression on his face and a half smile on his lips. He reached out to her and caressed her cheek, making her breath catch in her throat.

"Hi, sweetheart." he murmured to her.

With strength she didn't know she had, she managed to pull out, "How can you do this?" she asked so quietly that she wasn't sure she had spoken either, "How can you act as if nothing is happening?"

She knew that she wasn't being fair, she knew that she had asked him to come over there and pretend that everything was normal, but the second he saw his eyes, something inside her broke even more.

"Doesn't it weigh on you, at all, that I'm so upset? That I can't think straight and that I feel so numb sometimes that I can't even recognize the reflection in the mirror? My thoughts? And not even a week has gone by." her eyes filled with tears and the smile on his lips was gone, "Because I miss you, Cassian, and-" she sobbed, pushing her face against his hand, "and I love you and I don't want to lose you and everything you're doing now makes me think it's not like that for you. That you don't want me back, that you don't want a life with me."

Cassian stood up, holding out a hand that she didn't hesitate to grab, she sat up and he stood next to her, looking her in the eyes, "Nesta I love you, you are the reason I wake up in the morning." his chin trembled as much as her body, shaken by the crying, "And the fact that you are suffering because of me makes me feel so bad that I can't breathe sometimes, I feel like I could die. And there isn't a day that I don't wake up and think about how much I want an eternal life with you." a lonely tear slipped over his face and Nesta sobbed, her face twisting in a grimace of pain. Cassian put both hands on her face, pushing his forehead against hers, "And I miss you so much. I haven't kissed you in a week and it's like a piece of me is dead."

Nesta tried to speak, but it was difficult in the midst of the sobbing, "And- and how do you think we..." a sound of pain scratched her way up her throat and Cassian wrapped her in his arms, pulling her closer so that she was sitting on his legs. She put her head to his chest, clutching his shirt with her fingers, "How do you think we will be able to go weeks, months, years without seeing each other, without being able to touch the other, if even a week has led to this?" she said exasperated.

Cassian passed a hand over her hair, kissing her temple, "I can't stay here."

Nesta violently detached herself from him, "Why?!"

He didn't answer, he just looked at her, with shiny eyes and a contracted jaw, and she burst into tears even more loudly, "I need you here!"

"I know."

"You need to stay," she shouted.

"I can't," he sighed trembling, "Don't-"

"Yes, yes, you can!" she said, looking at him with exasperation, "You can!"

Cassian nodded once, "Then I don't want to."

Those five words were like a punch to the stomach and dampened her breath. She got up from the couch, from him, and carried a hand to her throat and as if there had been a tap, a switch, the tears stopped flowing, and the pain became such that it no longer existed and for a second, a miserable and useless second, Nesta thought she had found the answer.

She was about to speak, she was about to tell him.

To leave. To never come back.

To stop loving her.

And yet, when she opened her mouth, something completely different came out, "I'm tired." she whispered, completely drained from any emotion. Cassian remained motionless and Nesta's body did not respond as it had always done, it did not react.

Cassian reached out his hand to her, "Come here," he begged her.

He didn't have to repeat it a second time that she was straddling his lap. She bent forward and closed her eyes, breathing his scent, placing a hand on his chest, right above his heart and feeling it beating. When she looked at him, his eyes were black with emotion and darting on her face.

Nesta's mind was screaming.

"I love you." she murmured, staring into his eyes and then, she pressed her lips against his and the sound that burst out of Cassian's chest was devastating. Earth-shuttering as they closed their eyes as they breathed from each other's mouths, while a week of repressed quarrels and rages and pains inflicted by the other were poured into that kiss.

His movements became more frenzied as his hands slid to her hips and pushed her against him and Nesta moaned, or sobbed. She felt the moment when every sorrow, every ache and hope, every memory, broke the surface and the numbness that had accompanied her in the last two days exploded and she began to lose herself.

She felt like she was falling into emptiness and had to break away from Cassian, starting to breathe frantically. Too fast.

Cassian cradled her face, his expression worried expression, "What is it?"

Nesta looked at him with her eyes wide open.

She looked at the wrinkled skin on his forehead and the way his eyebrows were expressive enough to give away any emotion he felt. She looked at his nose, following its contours and at his lips, swollen and red and shiny, moving as he spoke and touched his hair, long and dark and soft and so familiar to the touch.

She was still falling into that void and felt that she was about to lose control over everything. She saw every laugh and every moment of happiness leave her body. She saw every smile that had been aimed at her. She saw the love of her parents and the devastation her father had gone through when her mother had left them. She saw Azriel's smile the first time they spoke and saw the young Feyre and Elain running around in the garden of their childhood home.

It was all slipping through her hands and she was screaming and couldn't grasp any of those memories. She couldn't.

She saw Cassian kneeling in front of her. She saw him smiling with watery eyes as he walked down the aisle and saw him crying as he held a blue puff to his chest.

Everything was slipping away.

"Look at me!"

And Nesta did it. She looked him in the eyes and hit the bottom. She stopped falling and everything that had left her body fell on her with such force that her back bowed.

She kept looking into his eyes while all sorts of emotions swirled there. In that dark, usually light, brown that Nesta had learned to love in all those years.

She was not ready to let him go.

"Nes look at me." he muttered again.

She burst into tears and fell forward, on him, while Cassian stroked her back and whispered to her that everything would be alright.

Nesta didn't know if everything was going to be alright, but as she got up and climbed up the walls of that hole in her mind, as she picked up every good and bad thing that had happened in her life, as she accepted that thing between them, as she reached the top, where Cassian was waiting for her hopefully, she didn't realize that there was something, someone at the bottom. Someone who was trying to scream and get noticed by her.

And the more Nesta cried in Cassian's arms - the more the Nesta in her mind went up and up - the more she lost herself.

Nesta reached the gate, accepting this new challenge that life was presenting her with, without realizing that she was leaving everything she believed in at the bottom of that well.

acotar taglist (if you want to be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)

@sjm-things @kris10maas @awesomelena555 @sannelovesreading @queenamydien29 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @messyhairday-me @ncssian @observationanxioustheorist @my-fan-side @booksstorm @maastrash @sayosdreams @thedarkdemigod @courtofjurdan @thewayshedreamed @ladywitchling @nahthanks @archeron-queen @sleeping-and-books @bri-loves-sunflowers @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @queenestarcheron

#pinky promise #pinky promise chapter five #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #feysand #elriel #elain archeron #feyre archeron #acotar fic #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #a court of silver flames #nessian fluff #nessian angst #nessian fic

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chubbyreaderchan · 4 years

Text

Technically No | Jacob Black x witch!Reader | Twilight/Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossover| 1

jacob is over 18+ in this as well as reader! It's also a slight modern au because technology makes life easier man. And no I don't know what timeline this is. It's after Jacob phases and before Buffy dies again. So you might see Glory in this. Also it’s under a cut because this introduction/beginning is super long.

"Did you make it okay?" Buffy asked over the phone.

"Yes, Buff. I'm in my new house. I am going to my new job Monday" (Y/n) said with a soft sigh as she leaned against her new counter, having just moved from one small town to the other.

Sunnydale to Forks.

"Good. I'm glad you are safe." (Y/n) smiled a small yet sort of sad smile at the prospect of leaving the scoobs but there was a job offer in Forks that was just to good for her to not take and she was damn lucky to find a house for rent. She wondered if it was haunted. Not that was a big deal for someone who went to high school on top of a literal hellmouth.

"How's Dawny?" (Y/n) also knew that Dawn's first day back to high school was coming up as well as Buffy's first day of college for the year. "And did you get your course schedule yet?" She stated sitting in the empty living room floor eating her favorite fast food meal. Her moving truck wouldn't be there with her stuff for at least another day or two.

It wasn't exactly a house full of stuff yet, of course. She had just gone from living with her parents to on her own within a flash it seemed. It was as if the universe was pulling and placing her right in the middle of now where Washington.

"Yeah but I didn't get some of the courses I wanted. Have to try next semester." She sighed over the phone. Was it normal to talk to someone you had just left the day before as if you hadn't seen them in months? Maybe not but a lot was happening as the end of summer was coming to fruition. "Dawn is excited to go back to school"

"Interesting... She wasn't yesterday." Buffy sighed over the phone as her friend teased her. "Oh! So I'm going to try to get some essentials tomorrow!" She said suddenly remembering what she called Buffy about in the first place. "What color do you think I should decorate my kitchen in? Green? Red?" Buffy almost laughed again at one of her closest friends.

"You'll know when you actually go to the store. It's not like I can see the house." "Not yet! But you all are going to come visit me some day!" She laughed a bit. Her phone buzzed at her to charge. "Hey... Buffy. I gotta go. Phones is dying. Tell Willow and everyone I miss them."

"Will do." With that, the phone was hung up and placed on its charger.

(Y/n) sighed picking up her trash and began the work to make the floor as comfortable as possible until she could actually buy a decent bed.

The next morning, (Y/n) woke up at a fair hour for a Saturday and took a shower. It was nice to wash out some of the travel and sleep stink off before she slipped on her clothes for the day. Then she went to grab her phone as well as keys and her wallet. There was no way she could sleep on the floor for one more day and eating fast food everyday wasn't exactly a healthy option even if she did just arrive in town.

Sure she was still tired from the plane ride but she would stay tired. She need to find at least an air mattress. The car ride was short, it was nice. Familiar. It wasn't a huge change from one small town to another... Minus the demons and vampires. She hoped. It was simple enough to find the small plaza that had a few small shops and even a diner within walking distance of each other.

It was not even remotely difficult to find the things she oh so desperately needed. It was wonderful. (Y/n) was even able to add to her growing collection of magical artifacts when she stumbled into an antique shop. She thanked the gods that her family had loaned her a bit of cash to help her get by until she was fully working again.

Her day was going great... That was until she was hit with pangs of hunger. 'Did I even eat breakfast?' she asked herself before glancing at the time and gasping. She had been out a lot longer than she had realized.

Didn't she see a diner? She walked to her rental car and started a vague drive. Ah-ha! There was a diner.

She pulled in and was seated quite quickly. It wasn't long before her meal was ordered and her attention was drawn to her phone as she waited. There was a text message from Anya complaining about an argument she and Xander were having. (Y/n) laughed softly before responding with her opinion.

While she was distracted she didn't notice the small group enter. Especially a young man who had a slight staring problem. His eyes were locked on (Y/n) as she fiddled around with her phone. The young man was known by most as Jacob Black. A good kid who was madly in love with Bella Swan, his childhood friend.

"Jake... You okay?" Bella another member of the small group asked with concern on her face. An older man in a wheelchair who was previously chatting with the other older man in the group looked at the one named Jacob. A small knowing smile flashed over his features as he looked at his son.

'It's about damn time' Billy the man in the wheelchair thought. "Jake!" Bella's voice called him again, finally snapping the dark haired young man from his thoughts.

(Y/n) who was finally served food sat her phone down finally not even noticing the set of eyes on the back of her head.

"Is she-?" Bella whispered to Jacob just low enough for her father to not hear. "I... Think so... I think..."

"Son..." It was Billy who joined the conversation. "If you don't go talk to her... I will." Jacob's eyes went wide. How embarrassing would that be? His dad talking to his imprint before he could.

Jacob looked at the girl happily eating her dinner and playing around with her technology. Then she giggled. Oh God.

How could it be that just the day before he was trying to convince Bella not to turn into a vampire? That he was so madly and so deeply in love with the vampire girl that he defied Sam his pack leader for turn into dust and be replaced instantly by a young woman he hadn't even spoken to?

Jacob was so distracted by his thoughts he barely caught his father moving to go introduce himself. "No, wait. Dad. I'll go." He quickly stood up and wandered over to the table nervously. What was he going to say? What if she didn't like him? What if he said something dumb?

"Hey I'm Jacob." He said awkwardly, causing her to jump from what she was doing. Her face scrunched up in confusion before she finally looked up. Their eyes locked and it felt like everything stopped. Her heart beat hard against her ribcage at the very tall and dark haired man before her. "You looked lonely. Uhm. I know we just got here. But..." What was he doing? Inviting her to sit with his dad and his dad's best friend for dinner? That's weird isn't it? Especially since he was going to have dinner with a girl he was in love with.

"I'd love to join you." Why did she just agree to crash someone else's dinner? It looked like a family affair of sorts. "I'm (Y/n)!" She suddenly remembered her name. It felt like her face was on fire. He shifted from slightly nervous to having a large smile on his face. How sweet.

He even helped by carrying her stuff to the table. "This is my dad Billy. His friend Charlie and his daughter Bella." Jacob introduced allowing her to sit down. Something in the back of her mind told her that this was weird.

Something was off.

It felt... Magical. She knew magical.

But then Charlie began to talk about how he was a sheriff and the weirdness seemed to disappear. "So...where are you from?" Charlie asked trying to judge if this new girl was going to cause him trouble later. "Oh. Sunnydale," she paused. "California. Also graduated from Sunnydale high." She explained with a small smile.

Maybe it wasn't so bad joining their little dinner. It was nice having people to talk to, especially when one was so new. "What do you like to do Jake?" She said looking over at him before taking a bite of food.

"Oh, uh. I buy and flip cars right now. It's more of a side hustle really." He smiled at her. "Really?" She said with a smile on her lips. "Because the car I'm in is just a rental... If you find anything good will you think of me? I can't pay the rate they are wanting forever." She joked, gently and playfully touching his arm.

It was like fire. Both literally and figuratively. If it weren't for the people she could almost throw herself at him. But then his skin was so hot that it almost burned. "Absolutely." Jacob smiled. "What's your phone number?" He looked almost like a puppy who was just given a treat. She took his phone and put her number in and he sent her a text. A wolf emoji.

Her eyes looked him over again. Then the phone in her hand began ringing. She answered it quickly, it was the moving company.

Jacob watched as she excused herself to talk to whoever. Her once happy self was instantly deflated. Jacob did not like that at all. He felt it. He actually felt the sadness in her. Is this what it was like to have an imprint? Actually feeling their pain? She walked back in and sighed.

“Are you okay?” Jacob asked with what (Y/n) could only describe as genuine concern.

“My moving truck is going to be late. On Monday while I’m at work instead of on Sunday.” She shouldn’t be so easy to talk to someone she had only known for 20 minutes. Jacob didn’t like the look on her face one of distress.

Jacob looked her over again, hardly getting tired of looking at her face. “I have some friends on the Res. Maybe we can meet them. Help you out..” Jacob offered without a second thought.

“Really?” she looked at him unsure at first.

Jacob nodded, a bright smile on his face.

“O-okay” She agreed.

a/n: Stopping this one here and writing part 2 next. If I didn’t this would be 3000 words. Don’t worry I’m literally going from posting this part to writing the next bit because I already know what I’m going to do. Then I’m going to write a Paul version of this.

#twilight reader insert #jacob black x reader #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #btvs reader insert #part 1

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creepyalienghost · 3 years

Text

Yandere.

It was Sammy’s first day of college but it was also Sammy’s first time away from home. Where he grew up in an a abusive house hold. He had never been shown love by anyone in his life. Not even at school. The students constantly bullied him and the teachers there hated him. Even his boss treated him like a robot and didn’t care how tired and overworked he was. He was numb to the pain and didn’t care for people anymore. To him they would all just hurt him one day or another. He was glad the dorms there only held one person, him. He wouldn’t ever get any rest or time to recover if there he had to worry all the time here.

His first corse came Monday the following week, Business. He didn’t care for the core but he figured it would help him in the future. The Professor spent the first half explaining the rules to the class and the things they were going to learn here. In the second half the professor told them to group up in twos for the first activity.

Sammy dreaded this activity. He could hear everyone getting up and finding there partner or friend. No one will choose him. No one ever chooses him. Ever. He gets left behind in everything all the time like-

“Excuse me?” Came a nice Southern male voice behind him, causing him to be startled and looked back. “I’m sorry for scaring you there. May I be your partner?” The man to the voice ask.

Sammy looked away from him, shyly. Why has he come to him an ask. Usually the teacher just ins up putting him in one or demanding another kid to join him so they could get on with the lesson. But this guy! He came without that or hesitation. It felt...good. “Y-yea.” Sammy clear his thought. “Yea sure.”

“Thanks” the guy replied, sitting next to Sammy. “I’m Norman.”

Sammy’s heart was beating fast and his stomach was doing all kinds of flips. Why would he want to be his partner? Why does he speak so kind to him? “I’m uh. Sammy..”He mumbled.

Norman gave him a kind smile. “That’s a nice name, Sammy.”

Sammy’s heart skip from that. No one has ever complemented him before. It was a lovey feeling. “ I-uh...t-thank you...” he mumbled again.

They were silent for a minute as they listen to the professors instructions on what the activity was. They would have to come up with a Product and try to sell it to the class. Once the teacher was finished he let everyone begin. “Alright, Sammy. Got anything in mind for a Product?” Norman asked

Sammy tried to think of something but his mind was distracted by his kindness. After a moment he shook his head. “N-no.” He replied, scared now that he’ll hate him for failing. “I’m sorry...”

Norman wasn’t mad though. He smiled at him again. A smile that flipped Sammy’s stomach. “No need to be sorry Sammy.” He replied. “Let’s do...a new game?” He looked at Sammy. “How’s that sound?”

“That sounds...n-nice..” Sammy said relieved yet confused that he still doesn’t hate him.

Sammy sat there and watched him write down some idea Though out the activity. Norman green eyes return to Sammy after he finished with his part of the list. “Do you have any ideas for this new game?”

Sammy looked down in wonder in thought. He didn’t want to fail him with this. He wanted Norman to like him. He needed it. “Maybe....a music game?...like you can play as a musician?...” he mumbled looking back at his face.

Norman nodded. “That sounds interesting.” He wrote it down and they continue to work on this.

The class ended 10 minutes later and everyone beings packing up and leaving. Sammy starting doing the same with his belongings when Norman turned around to him. “Hey Sammy. Is this your first year here?”

Sammy turned to him and nodded. “Y-yes. Why?”

“Because. It’s my second here.” Norman replied. “And I was wondering if you wanted to hang tonight? I can show you the town?” He ask.

He...He wanted to hang out with him? Like on a date? He he only experience this type of thing in shows. Sammy’s palms begin to sweet as well as his heart beats faster. “Yes!..I -I mean yes..” he cleared his throat.

Norman smiled a beautiful smile. “Great. Meet me at the lobby to the dorms at 7” with that he left the class.

Later that night Sammy goes to the lobby a few minutes before And learns on the wall, waiting. He passed the time by watching people. One guy was doing homework at one of the little tables, a group of guys were playing pool on the other side of the room and more walk in and out.

A few minutes later he saw Norman walk in and he got up as he approaches. “Hey. You ready?” Norman ask.

Sammy nodded. “I’m r-ready”

Norman smiled and leaned Sammy out. It was a nice cool night out and perfect for walking in. Norman loved these nights. It was peaceful walking and watching the people or sky watching or going to haunted places according to his friend Joey.

The first place Norman took him was a coffee shop. Hanks coffee shop to be exact. It was located on Main Street between the corner store and a diner. When they entered the shop, the delicious smell of coffee with a hint of honey hit them both. It made his mouth water.

“This is we’re I’d love to come and study or do homework.” Norman said. “It’s relaxing and a great place to get coffee.” He informed him with a smile. “Speaking of coffee wanna get one for the road?”

Sammy nodded in reply. “Yes. Coffee sounds great!”

Norman had ordered an ice coffee for himself and offered to pay for Sammy’s chocolate chip flapper chino coffee. They slowly sipped it as they walked down the sidewalk, passing other cute little shops

And places. A clothing store, a comic shop, a candy shop and many other places.

Norman brought him to the local book shop next. When they arrived inside Sammy saw rows and rows of books. From sci-fi to horror. “I’m a bit of a nerd.” Norman said chuckling. “So i come hear a lot.” He turned to Sammy. “Are you? Do you like to read”

Sammy shrugged his shoulders after a minute of thought. “I’m...I never really read anything t-that wasn’t for homework..”

Norman smiled. “Would you like me to pick you out a book?”

Sammy smiled and nodded. “Yes please! That would be fantastic!

Norman and Sammy spent hours looking around for something Sammy would enjoy. Norman ask questions to help decide what he likes like “do you like things about monsters” or “do you like a good mystery” in the end they came up with a sci-fi book. They payed for it and the two went to the diner to eat before heading back.

——

The morning after he took an hour reading his new book before classed and found himself really enjoying it. Once it was time to get to class he got ready and walked out of his dorm, passing the lobby on the way outside. But he stopped by what he saw. Norman was playing pool with another person! She was tall and fit with brown hair and Hazel eyes.

Sammy felt crush by this. Norman was laughing with her and talking to her, showing her how to play. He even offered her hang out later! This was unfair! Wasn’t he Normans friends? Why was she even around him! He needed to do something! Before he losses his own friend.

In the first class he didn’t focus on the Biology lesson the Professor was given. He was to busy deciding what to do with her. Should he push her in front of a car? Or should he trip her down the straits? No. Those are all Public. He needed something that could be done in public. He didn’t want be seen by people and get arrested.

After another minute of thinking he came up with the perfect way. A small twisted smile spread on to his face. After this Norman would be his friend again

—

Lacie entered the girls dorm after leaving the library with Norman and headed up

To her room. She unlocked her dorm door and stepped in, kicking off her shoes. It’s been a long busy day with school, work and homework that she was ready for a shower and then sleep. Lacie set her bag down on the desk and walked to her closet for some clothes, opening it. That’s when her head burst out in pain and everything went black.

When she came to she had a massive headache. The light was blinding as she slowly opened her eyes. Once she was cautiously aware she her hands were tied in the back and she was up on a chair with a noose around her neck. “What the hell!?” She yelled before noticing a guy in the corner. “Who are you?!... what the fuck is this?!”

The guy came forward with a deep glear of hatred tours her. “I’m Sammy. And Normans my friend!” Sammy kicked the chair out from underneath her, watching her fall and struggle to breath. He watched her kick her feet And try to kick the chair back to her, with no luck. It wasn’t long before she stopped moving and her body slumped.

Sammy finished his work by cutting her hands free from the rope, placed a note on her desk and slipped out into the night without being seen. He later laid in bed and thought about Norman being his friend again tomorrow.

Its been three days since the passing of Lacie. Everyone was shocked that she would do something like that. She always seemed so happy. So ready to take on the day. So ready for anything that life through at her. Norman took it pretty hard. He blames himself for not seeing the signs. He was just with her before she did it. Why couldn’t she had talk to him? He would’ve listened and tried to help her. The school held a memorial in her honor. Everyone showed up to pay respect. Norman was one of them that gave a speech there. She talked about how they were best friends since they were kids. This hurt Sammy a lot to see. Part of him felt sorry for hurting him but the other part was hurt by how much he loved her. Still, now that she’s gone he can have Norman be his friend. Other than that Norman hadn’t came out of his dorm in three days.

Sammy decided that he wanted to visit him tonight, to make sure he was alright. He could help him feel better and hopefully make him laugh.

After his last class of the day he stopped by the flower shop to buy a lovey Bouquet of flowers for Norman. He never been to a funeral before nor tried to help anyone feel better. He saw this idea on tv shows and movies and he thought it was a nice thing now. There were many different options and all of them beautiful but he eventually chose a set with Beautiful red and orange flowers that smelled good.

He walked happily back to campus and into the boys dorm. He heart was filled with Joy as he walked down the 5th floor to Normans room. But the Joy and happiness was instantly crushed when he saw another guy walking out of Normans room. He stopped in his tracks and hid behind a wall, listening.

“Don’t hesitate to call, alright man?” The guy said to Norman.

Norman stepped out and nodded. “I won’t. Thanks Jack.” With that he closed the door and jack began walking out. He passed Sammy without noticing the small man. Sammy dropped the flowers, stepping on them and following jack.

Sammy followed him for little more then five minutes, planning on what he was going to do with this one. When they got near a pound he knew exactly how to get rid of him.

He looked around on the ground for a minute before he stopped a good side rock and grabbed it. He then quicken his paste to get closer to him. At that point jack notice the sounds behind him and turned around to see what it was. It was to late for jack though. The rock knocked him out before he could respond.

Sammy quickly got to work. He started stuffing large rocks in jacks pockets. His Jeans, his hoodie pocket and even in his hoodie it self. Once he was finished with that he pushed jack into the pound and watched him sink. He quickly left the area.

Luckily for Sammy, It stormed that night. The rain watched away all of jack blood and smooth out there foot prints. The neck day there was a missing report on jack. The police searched for days and came up empty-handed. After a week of looking they had to call off the investigation. They chief of police finally claim was he ran away to stop a new life.

Sammy waited a few days before he decided to visit Norman. So things can calm down enough in Norman life. He seen Norman sad when he was in class earlier and wanted to help him and be there for him like he was on the first day. Sammy had been preparing a speech since Monday, again like he seen on tv shows and movies. He felt like he was ready on Wednesday to give the actual speech to Norman.

He went to Normans next class and waited outside of his class and waited for the remaining minutes. Once they were rushing out he peak in between person after person trying to catch Norman. But once he saw him he was hugging another girl. This time with short blonde hair and green hair. She was more girly then the last. She was also beautiful.

This time Sammy didn’t feel sad or heart broken or betrayed. Sammy felt anger and hate in his heart. Why couldn’t he just have one friend to himself!? Why couldn’t he have one good thing in his shitty damn life?! This was so unfair to him and he couldn’t take it anymore! He snapped.

Late that night Sammy came across campus and snuck in the girls dorm. He were a black hoodie that covered most of his face up, not like anyone would notice him anyways. In the pocket laid a knife. He went up to Susies dorm and knocked on her door. He wasn’t in his right mind now. Anger and hate lead him.

When she opened the door she couldn’t even get a word in. He took the knife out and stabbed her in the stomach, watching her gasp. He took it out and stabbed her with it again. He repeated it over and over again even after she stopped responding. It was like was in a trance. Stabbing and stabbing. He opened snapped out of it when he herd a gasp like scream.

He looked over and saw Norman at the door but backing away from him. He looked back down of what’s in front of him and gasp himself. There was so much blood on and around him! So much it scared him. He looked back at Norman and reached out for him. “No wait!-“ he called out.

Norman backed away another stepped. “Stay away from me! Don’t come any closer!” He replied and on the verge of crying. “Someone help! He killed my friend!” He yelled out.

Nothing could be done now. Sammy herd doors opening and people starting to freak out once they released what was going on. He herd the caretaker coning and some got on the phone for the police. He couldn’t run away from this. From what he just done. He looked at his hand all covered in blood then cried.

About 15 minutes later the police and ambulance should up on the campus. The police stormed up to Sammy and arrested him with no problem. He didn’t fight them, And when he was lead to the police car he didn’t look at the people watching the scene unfold. It was unbearable to see that. They put Sammy in the back of the car and drove him away.

——

Who wants a part two?!

#bendy and the ink machine #sammy lawrence #Norman polk #jack fain #susie campbell #lacie benton

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peachyunjinnie · 4 years

Text

❝love me again❞ hyj ― a.

― summary:

after your 2 year relationship with hyunjin ended he came into your life again as your roommates new boyfriend and your feelings play with you. not just you having feelings again he falls for you and you two relive the reason why you fell for each other.

exboyfriendl!hyunjin/female!reader | angst | 1.7k ↬ content warnings: kinda (?) cheating, mention of suicide and self-harm.

a/n: i am not a good angst writer buuuuut i got the request to do this and i really tried my very best ! enjoy !!

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“I really want you to get yourself together, Y/N.” my roommate told me for the hundredth time now. I rolled my eyes and sighed at her.

“Em’ I am not going to do anything, it’s your boyfriend not the president.” I saw her brushing her dress down and having her big eyes on the mirror. Her dress looked so adorable and her effort for this dude is kinda funny.

You can say that I am a little bitter after my first ever breakup with the one who shouldn’t be said in this household. Even Emma doesn’t even know anything about the one who shall not be named.

“I know but I want him to like me and my best friend.” She turned around to face me and to give off her smile. She really wanted to make everything perfect.

“Come on Emma, you two have been together for a month now and he seems really nice from what you said. He will like you no matter what the people around you do or say.” I gave her a small pat on the shoulder as I lied down and closed my eyes for a small power nap.

This power nap was very needed after I had to endure her love talk the whole night. I was very happy for her, I really am. But having to hear ‘He is so tall, he is so soft but still hot. He is so handsome and looks like a model.’ got me thinking how I am going to hide those dark circles.

“Get ready, Y/N! He will meet us in 3 hours and we need 30 minutes to drive and you need to get ready with your dress and your make up and your hair and-” She took a deep breath and continued to search for some of her accessories.

“I am so nervous, Jesus.” I could hear her heartbeat on the drivers seat and I leaned against the window.

Her reaction really reminded me of my relationship and it was the most intense thing I’ve been through with the feelings and the butterflies. I ran around my whole mall to get the perfects eye look or run around my closet to get the perfect matching clothing for him. I completely changed myself for him and was willing to do more than what I would’ve done for anyone.

“Y/N!” Her voice echoed in my head and I woke up from my memories.

“Wha-what?” I looked around and saw the restaurant on the left side of us.

“We’re here, but we are a little early. So again, what are we gonna do...?” She asked and gave me a reassuring simper.

“I know. socialize and be nice.” I said like a toddler to it’s mom. Ridiculous, I have to be here and see a guy that I don’t even know anything of. I don’t know his name, age nor do I know how he looks. To be 100% honest with you I want to be here for Em’ but I would much rather be at home and just live my holiday life.

“Good girl! Now come we have to be there before he comes.” She took my hand and gave it a small squeeze. But before I could get out of the car, she hugged me tightly. She let out a a little sob and I directly hugged her tighter.

“I am so happy that you’re here to help me, I appreciate it so much.” Her hands holding me to her with no space between us two.

And exactly there I noticed why she is my best friend, and how I should really try to get her boyfriend to like her even more than he obviously already does.

“Of course, I will try.” I let go of her and looked at her small tears forming in her eyes. She laughed a little and I wiped them away, her big eyes still having a sad look in them

“I’m so grateful that I met you, and I really want you two to get together better. Because you two are the most important people in my life.” She smiled and my heart broke a little and my eyes started to sweat.

“Em’, come on. I will do my best and get him to like me, okay?” She gave me a small hug again and has gotten out of the car. I sat there on the passengers seat for a small bit and collected myself, did breathing exercises and stepped out of the car. She waited at the entrance and looked at me for the last time with her ‘get your shit together’ look.

After her stepping inside this diner-like restaurant Em’ ran to the 2nd row on the left. She directly saw someone and this really tall figure stood up and hugged her, after giving her a small kiss on the cheek. His back was turned to me, as I was still standing on the entrance.

She grabbed his hand and dragged him to me and as he turned around I couldn’t believe my eyes. This dude that I didn’t know the name of nor the face or pretty much anything, is of fucking course hwang hyunjin. But it looked like I wasn’t the only one who was surprised to see the very familiar face. His eyes grew to the double size and his motions and movements seemed stiff and weird, like someone just spoilered him the end of the best movie ever.

“So Y/N, I want to introduce you- are you two okay?” Emma’s worried look switched to me and Hyunjin. Her hands touching his biceps but no reaction. His eyes glued and stayed on mine, The longer I looked into his shocked eyes, the more memories bubbled out of my suppressed memory. I couldn’t escape his warm eyes. Moments have passed and I came to me again, I looked around me and spotted the bathroom and with another last look at Hyunjin, I quickly went to the bathroom.

I fled into the first stall and just sat there a blank face, way too shocked to cry at this point. Of fucking course destiny had to make my life even worse than it already is by getting this boy to enter my life again. My breathing became uneasy, my eyes still blankly starring into nothing all of the memories I have made with him hit me harder than ever before. Every touch, every word...every kiss. It was haunting my head with a bitter aftertaste.

I heard the croaking door opening, steps coming closer and closer until I saw the black leather shoes and the voice of Hyunjin could be heard. After all this time his voice has not changed a single bit, the same deep and smooth velvet voice. All of the strength I have built up is now slowly crashing down. It is all collapsing, all of the healing process I had behind me were now completely destroyed, demolished, wrecked...forgotten.

“Y/N, I- I.” He didn’t say anything and pressed his forehead against the stall door. He was now living through the whole breakup once again, tears slowly running down his cheeks. His whole body was shaking and his mind was going crazy. He regretted every single day of even having the idea of letting go of you, of leaving you...of hurting you. He was closing his eyes shut and who were now bashed red.

I sat there for a short while before opening the door and rushing into his arms. I have never felt better in any other place than his long and slender arms. His body was trembling against mine and his teardrops fell down onto my shoulder. He was clutching on me, his sobs filling the bathroom.

“I am so sorry, I don’t want to leave you.” He was sobbing hardly on my shoulder, I squeezed his lower body. All of these sleepless nights and all of these tears. I couldn’t believe how I could forget all of those moments that have changed me as a person. It’s because I-I still after all those months love him.

“I needed you, what did I do? was it me?” I cried out and with these simple questions he stopped the hug and held my face in his big hands.

“I was naive and dumb. I thought I didn’t need anyone in my life. I was a douche and an idiot to ever let you out of my life. I was never depressed, but after realizing my mistake...I couldn’t live, I-I can’t live without you.” his hands still cupping my face, the look of pure fear in his eyes.

“I wanted you back but after what I did nobody wanted to tell me where you are or give me your contact. My whole life was falling apart without you here. I-I then saw you on the profile pic of this girl and I just had to see you.” He smiled and his eyes were still not getting rid of the tears in them.

“We have to go to her, she is in love with you...”

“I broke up with her after seeing you, I had to.” He caressed my swollen face and my pinched red cheeks. A thousand thoughts rushed through my head and at the same time I had a blank canvas up there.

I could not believe what I just did but my body reacted in a way where every control I should have is now missing me. My lips reconnected with his and every single cell in my body craved for his lips, for so long. His eyes were closed and every moment you two had lived through now played in his mind, your smile, your personality, your eyes...everything was playing in his mind. He couldn’t believe that his first and last wants him as much as he does.

#Stray Kids #SKZ #Stray Kids Hyunjin #SKZ Hyunjin #Stray Kids Hwang Hyunjin #Stray Kids Hwang Hyunjin Angst #SKZ Hwang Hyunjin Angst #Stray Kids Angst #SKZ Angst #Hyunjin Angst #Hwang Hyunjin Angst #Hyunjin #Hwang Hyunjin

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that-damn-girl · 4 years

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Never More Than Me

(Oneshot)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes (Stucky)

Part of my collection of oneshots/drabbles for Stucky in the same universe in chronological order - His. Could be read as a STAND ALONE since ‘His’ is NOT a series.

Words: 2700+

Type: Fluff. Self-love/Self-empowerment.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Summary: Stronger more than ever, Bucky knows how to reply to hateful comments delivered on the streets.

A/N: A huge thank you to @lisamott9 for letting me use their lovely artwok for this fic. CHECK OUT HER BLOG for other amazing creations of her. I assure you, you won’t be disappointed.

For as far as one could see, there were busy pedestrians walking up and down the sidewalk as the cars rushed by in a flurry of various colours. Everyone went about their lives. Mixing in and walking among those was Bucky. The ones walking towards or away from him didn’t pay him any heed. He didn’t mind it though. He preferred it that way. Made it all the way easier to spot anyone who actually did.

Bucky loved the sweet spring air entering his lungs. It was a far cry from the crisp chilled winter air which made him feel like his lungs were being poked from the inside with every breath he took. It signalled the approach of summer, making him feel even better.

The sun felt heavenly where it touched Bucky’s skin beneath the baseball cap. There wasn’t much area to touch, but the slight warmth greeting him everytime he stepped out of the shadows the of buildings towering over him and onto the sunlit ground gave him good vibes.

The hushed murmurs could he heard all around. The passers-by talked into devices loud enough to be heard normally to their virtual companion but low to maintain a sense of privacy from those in real life. Murmurs were heard by the general people though. Bucky was enhanced.

In addition to those, he also heard every drag of the soles against the rough pavement. The garments and accessories shuffled and rubbed loud in his ears as everyone lugged themselves. What others would call a murmur, he called it talking clear because that’s how the voices around were for him.

But Bucky chose to focus on the only whose mattered to him. The sweet yet manly and adoring voice talked to him. Though they didn’t hold each other’s hands since they wanted to keep their relationship hidden, there was a giddy excitement flowing through Bucky as he walked down the street.Both Steve and Bucky wore goofy grins. Why wouldn’t he? They’d just had had there first date at the pancake house.

It wasn’t much. They were spending the week in the city due to interview invites and Stark events being held at the tower. Bucky didn’t want to miss the opportunity to dine at the lovely pancake house he’d missed so much. Steve knew what Bucky had wanted without saying.

When they were returning from their morning run, Steve stopped him outside the establishment and asked, “Do you wanna go out on a pancake date with me, beautiful?”

Bucky’s heart had bloomed inside his chest. He’d desperately wanted to grab Steve’s face and kiss him crazy, but he had to refrain himself. Instead he gave his boyfriend that mesmerising smile which mattered to Steve more than a million dollars.

They enjoyed the pancakes as sweet as they come. Thanks to their hunger and metabolism and Bucky’s immense liking to this place, the pancake house made quite a revenue out of them.

When they entered, Bucky immediately greeted the old sweet lady behind the counter like he always did when he still lived at the tower. The other diners he went to didn’t have the luxury of welcoming a toothy little shit like Mrs. Collins did.

Despite his ‘disguise’, she’d recognised him as the Winter Soldier when he tried out this place for the first time. She didn’t mind being in the company of the world’s deadliest ex-assasin asking for sweet honey dipped pancakes as soon as she’d flipped the open sign in her shop. She’d seen past the Winter Soldier. She’d seen Bucky Barnes at first glance.

Bucky didn’t know what it was about her, but he liked her enough to smile at their first meeting, but he did. He didn’t know why he kept giving her warm smiles or why his insides would feel warm when she’d smile back or give him free treats on the side of his regular pancakes. Maybe it was that motherly touch in her gaze and demeanour, though he knew that she was decades younger than his hundred year old self.

Bucky thought he might’ve been imagining things as he caught the knowing look and sly greeting Mrs. Collins gave him when she saw him and Steve together with smiles beaming brighter the sun outside. They took a seat at a booth in the far corner, away from the other patrons.

Most might think they were just a couple of dudes having their breakfast after their running routines. They were that too, but also a couple of dudes helplessly in love who lived every moment to cherish the other and thank what super powers made it possible for them to be together. They were a couple of over a hundred year old dudes who held hands under the table like teenagers.

The breakfast was sweet and great. The moment when they had to part away their hands not so much. Yet Bucky was happy for all that happened that morning.

Yes, it wasn’t much. But it meant the world to Bucky.

He didn’t need anything fancy. He had wanted Steve for so long and that wish had been fulfilled. Now he’d hardly get any satisfaction even close to that which he felt when he realised that Steve was finally his.

Steve wanted to pamper Bucky though. He wanted to take Bucky to fancy candle lit dinners and long drives under the sun. He wanted to watch the twinkle in his eyes as Bucky star-gazed countless nights away, because Bucky was the star right in the center of Steve’s world. Because Bucky deserved all this and so much more.

Steve thought so, but there were still some who didn’t.

As they walked down the street, though not hand in hand but heart in heart, they heard a group of frat boys behind them. The young boys talked about varied topics until they started gushing about the Avengers and their latest interview last night.

“Tony Stark, always in style. Man, I wish I could pull off his swag.”

"Black Widow? She was just so intimidating, her glares made those reporters piss their pants. Oof!”

“And Vision looked so human. I couldn’t believe he was actually an android!”

“I wish they brought Spiderman. It would have been so cool to know who he was.”

They went on and on about different Avengers. Some wished that there were more personal questions asked. Some wished they’d shown up for interview in their full costume.

Bucky and Steve shared amused glances, both trying to stifle their own laughter. It felt nice though, listening to people talk well about them and low-key fangirling after them. They didn’t do what they did for the fame, but yeah, it felt to good to be recognised and appreciated. Until it didn’t.

“I don’t get why they brought along the Winter Soldier though. Spiderman could’ve come in his place! Someone who actually saves people’s lives rather than an amnesiac assassin should’ve been there.”

Listening to the words, Bucky blanched. It brought back all those insecurities he had been trying to fight off and had almost succeeded. He knew all that had happened in the past was not his fault. He knew, he knew, he knew.

And then he didn’t.

Steve could see the smile faltering on Bucky’s face. His own had turned into a scowl. One slight turn to Bucky and Steve could see the anguish haunting Bucky’s eyes. All that Bucky had decided to leave in the past and move on came back rushing to him like a moth drawn to a flame. The sudden stiffness in Bucky’s shoulders as he walked didn’t go unnoticed by Steve. It only made him clench his fists. The urge to smash someone’s face had never risen so hard and fast in Steve. The good ol’ Captain America image be damned.

Bucky’s hand came to rest on stressed Steve’s forearm as if on instinct. Of course, Bucky knew what Steve intended. Who knew Steve like the back of his better than Bucky?

Bucky’s, or rather the Winter Soldier’s name was already stained with dark violence more than anyone else. He didn’t need anymore of it. He was seen as the bad guy without even meaning to. He couldn’t let Steve dirty his Captain America’s name for him more than he already had.

Steve relaxed his arm under Bucky’s touch, but the pure fire and hatred simmering within him couldn’t be calmed down. Listening to someone trash talk about another without knowing all the facts, specially about his love didn’t sit well with him. He had to, no, he needed to punch the speaker of those words behind him.

But he didn’t. Not because it’d be another PR nightmare if Captain America was seen punching a twenty something year old boy, but because Bucky didn’t want him to. Not that he agreed with him, but he’d do whatever Bucky wanted him to within reason. Though he found it very hard to see his request within reason.

“Honestly, I don’t know what they saw in him to let him not serve jail time for all the murders he did.”

The frat boys continued demeaning the metal armed man. Bucky tried not to mind them. He didn’t want to cause a scene no matter how much he hurt. He tried to let their words enter through one ear and leave through the other without being processed. He tried and tried and tried, but he failed.

Every word he heard sent another dagger through his heart. He knew he wasn’t among the favourites of many, but he didn’t know that’s what the people truly thought of him. He tried to have a positive outlook on everything, but it was hard when the others didn’t want to connect with anything relatively positive.

Steve grimaced, losing his patience every passing second with every passing word through their mouths. If only they’d known. The inner workings or mission details of the Avengers were kept strictly private for obvious reasons. If they weren’t, the civilians would know that Bucky’s recklessness in his missions surpassed his own by great measure. And Steve was known for being reckless.

Ever since being an Avenger, Bucky did whatever he could just because he could. He’d truly and actually turned into Steve who would place their lives on the line on not one but multiple occasions if that meant he could help others. Didn’t matter what his odds were. If there was anyone who needed any sort of help, Bucky would always be there. That was one thing which HYDRA couldn’t change about him.

Yes, Bucky had made peace with his past but he couldn’t shake the want to repent. He couldn’t change what he did, so he always strived to be better than what he was. If risking his own life on missions so that his friends wouldn’t have to meant that, then that was it for Bucky.

He truly tried to and did save the world like his teammates, just without receiving as much appreciation. But he didn’t need that. He wanted to do the good to sate his own want to help anyway he could. He didn’t need to be recognised for that. But that didn’t mean he wanted to hear people to only talk about all the bad he did, that too when he wasn’t in control of himself.

“Did you see him and Captain America last night? Don’t know why he still dots over his friend. What a fool! He’s only just wasting his time behind that crack head.”

And all Bucky saw was red. Not because they threw insults at him, but because they disrespected Steve. Nobody, and he repeated, nobody, could or would talk shit about his boyfriend in his presence. The names thrown at him hurt, but those thrown at Steve pissed him off. Because it was Steve.

His Stevie.

If there was anyone who could talk like that about Steve, it was Bucky and only Bucky. Natasha, Sam and the others could be made exceptions though, but not these strangers. Nobody could take that right from him.

Steve was in no better condition. Bucky was his and nobody could dictate how he should or shouldn’t take care of or spend time him. Bucky was his to do with as pleased. He would’ve loved to kick their asses had it not been for Bucky’s decision.

Stopping midstep, Bucky took off his baseball cap and turned around on his heel. The boy who had been talking about him earlier was in the process of hurling another crude comment his way when suddenly stopped. Seeing the Winter Soldier in the flesh in front of he, he paled. Where he’d been talking non-stop, he started stuttering.

The fear for his life flashed in the boy’s eyes. His eyes darted to Bucky’s metal arm and he audibly gulped, his adam’s apple moving prominently. With his resting bitch face, Bucky started moving towards the boy with slow but purposeful steps.

“Winter Soldier, sir, it isn’t what it sounded like-”

He paused when Bucky crouched in front of him. Thinking that Bucky’s lift him by his legs and throw him into the wall, he braced himself for the impact. None came.

Bucky stood back up, a discarded chocolate wrapper in his hand. He marched to the dustbin a couple steps away and threw the wrapper into it. Making his way back to Steve, he made a point to look at the boy for a brief second as he said, “You should put the trash where it belongs.”

Steve stood there jaw slacked. Bucky had always been more calm minded of the two, but he hadn’t expected this. Pride bubbled inside his chest for putting the scum in his place without making a scene, very unlike to what Steve would have done.

They both marched off wordlessly together. Upon turning on the next corner, Steve grabbed his hand and ushered him into the first alleyway in sight. He pushed Bucky against the brick wall and smashed his lips against his in a furious kiss. One hand went behind his head and the other around his waist.

Bucky’s hands found themselves gripping Steve’s shirt as he pulled him even closer. Their tongues clashed as their lips danced with delicacy. Breaths mingled as their hearts jingled. The super soldiers could go on forever, but Steve pulled back and tenderly cupped his boyfriend’s cheeks.

“Buck, I am so proud of you.” Bucky could see the sincerity behind Steve’s eyes. The glimmering blue orbs staring into his own told him whatever wasn’t said aloud.

Bucky tightened his hold around Steve’s waist, “Doll, you are the most dumbass person I know, but you are my dumbass.” And Steve had to give Bucky another kiss just for that.

~~~

They were in Bucky’s room that afternoon. Bucky was cuddled upto Steve on his bed, his back resting against Steve’s hard chest. Steve’s chin was positioned in the nape of Bucky’s neck, his eyes overlooking the articles Bucky strolled through on his phone.

Apparently, somebody had captured the events of their morning with the frat boys and uploaded the video online. The internet had burst open in support of Bucky. His was on handling things was admired and long posts were written in his appreciation. Usually they wouldn’t check articles about them online, but Natasha had shown them the link.

“Those were just some scumbags we had to encounter.” Steve kissed the back of Bucky’s ear, “Everybody loves you, Buck.”

Opening the internet and reading pieces and commentaries on various blogs about himself, Bucky discovered that him and his efforts to be a better man was recognised by a good chunk of the world. They pitied his bad luck but praised his efforts. It felt good to know that.

Not everyone would always be on the same page. And that was okay. That’s what made everyone human. Everyone had different brains and mindsets and opinions. Bucky didn’t want to encourage spreading hate, but he couldn’t do much except deal with the uncivilised in a civilised way. It was just about the fact whose views mattered the most.

“None more than you though.” Bucky said, turning his head back and softly pecking Steve’s lips.

“Never more than me.” Steve grinned fondly, fastening his arms around Bucky’s waist.

Bucky knew he’d always have Steve by his side, supporting him in all the rights no matter who said what. Had the world worked on just hearing to what others had to say, the earth would’ve still been flat and Newton would’ve still been a madman. But none were either.

Just like one would ever be able to overpower him, his actions or his thoughts more than himself, he know none would ever love him more than Steve except for one.

Bucky himself.

You could truly ever love somebody else when you truly knew how to love yourself, because otherwise you'd be disrespecting their choise of loving you. There is no love if you disrespect the other. Just like everything begins at home, love beings with our own self. Bucky loved Steve to no measure, and so was the other way around. And somewhere between loving Steve, Bucky also knew how to love himself along the way.

~~~

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spacesnail3000 · 4 years

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Brooklyn’s Sweetheart Chapter 17: You’re A Beast, Barnes

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Chapter Summary: All it takes for Bucky is five martinis and three tequila shots and then he’s pulling down his pants in the middle of the bathroom. Steve’s not sure whether to be worried or impressed that he’s not dead yet.

Word Count: 5,653

Warnings: Language, drinking, smut (rimming, blowjobs, public)

Masterlist

Steve awoke early that morning from restless dreams, visions that haunted him inside and outside of sleep. His mother. Peggy. Bucky. His girl.

Their girl.

He hadn’t seen her in days—not since the funeral.

Part of him seethed when he thought about it, muscles tense, fists clenched. Another part of him, however—another part of him felt broken, chest and throat tightening, skin buzzing with pain.

It was a visceral response, either way, but he was more inclined to block out the sadness in favor of rage. He had broken knuckles and a bloody lip to attest to that.

“Time to wake up, sunshine!” Sam’s voice rang through the small Brooklyn apartment.

Steve sat up and looked around. He realized quickly that he wasn’t in his own bed—he wasn’t in a bed at all, actually, but instead on Sam’s sofa. Sam was in the kitchen, a metallic clang against plastic echoing in the living room as he shook a protein bottle around.

“What time is it?” Steve asked. He went to rub his eyes and flinched when a sharp sting spread through his skin, mixing with the dull ache of a bruise.

“Almost ten,” Sam answered. “Want a protein shake?”

“Sure,” Steve grunted and stood up, stretching out his aching limbs. He was shirtless and he could see more purple mottling on his stomach, around his ribs.

Sam handed him the protein shake and nodded to his injuries. “How ya feeling?”

“Like a truck ran me over,” Steve mumbled. He popped open the protein bottle and took a sip, cringing at the taste of watery vanilla—made with rice milk, no doubt, part of Sam’s new health kick.

Sam chuckled and went back into the kitchen. “Not a truck, no. But Rumlow wasn’t going easy on you last night.”

Steve groaned at the memory. He didn’t know if the throbbing in his head was from his hangover or his concussion.

Sam continued, “Still, man, congrats. Rumlow didn’t make it an easy win, but you managed it!”

The memories from last night flooded his mind. It wasn’t too different a night from the entire past week. There was an underground fight club they frequented in Brownsville, one that Steve participated in every so often. He hadn’t fought much for the past year—not since meeting Peggy—but now with so much built up anger and frustration over everything that had happened in the days leading up to the funeral, he needed to release his emotions somehow.

Fighting worked wonders for his excess energy.

He had fought every night that last week, and he had won every single match. Last night, he fought Brock Rumlow—one of the mobsters from Hydra, whose territory mostly spanned the other side of the Hudson despite their slow encroachment on New York City. Beating Rumlow to a pulp the previous night had not only won Steve ten grand, but it also established the dominance of the Brooklyn Mob over Hydra—informally, at least.

Steve finished off the protein shake and set the bottle on the kitchen counter.

“Feel free to take a shower, man,” Sam said, “You stink like shit and you got blood on my throw pillow.”

He glanced to the couch where his head had been resting, indeed finding dark brown stains of dried blood on the square pillow there. “Right. Sorry ‘bout that. I’ll just—” Steve motioned to the bathroom and got on his way.

“And Buck’s gonna be here in a few. We’re going out to breakfast—wanna come?”

“Yeah, sure,” Steve mumbled, then shut himself behind the bathroom door. As he showered, wincing from the hot water running through the cuts on his face, he readied himself for Bucky’s arrival.

Things were tense between the two men since Y/N had decided to leave. Bucky wasn’t doing well with it—eating his feelings and drinking away the pain at night. He knew Bucky blamed him, and he knew he was falling back into old habits like drinking and partying. Not that Steve was doing much better. He drank just as much, his smoking had doubled, and of course the bruising on his face spoke for itself.

But he didn’t know what to do, or why he felt this way. The past year when he had been staying away from Y/N, focusing instead on the mob and Peggy—that had been fine. He had been fine.

But now…

He ran his hands down his face, rubbing soap into the lacerations until it burned so bad, the pain was all he could think of.

When he got out, he dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that Sam had left out for him before slicking his hair back to the best of his ability and running his knuckles against his jaw. He was getting a little scruffy, not having shaved for a few days, but the hair did a little bit to hide the bruising on his jaw and the cut on his chin from his fight two nights ago with one tough bastard named Wade Wilson.

As he entered the living room, he saw Bucky and Natasha sitting on the couch with Sam.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve greeted his friend with a clap on the shoulder, pretending not to notice when he shied away. “Nat. Didn’t know you were coming.”

“Buck stayed at my place last night so he invited me.”

“Oh.” Steve didn’t know what Bucky was up to lately, but now he wondered if he was back with Natasha… But Natasha was with the Maximoff girl… Right?

“You look like shit,” Bucky commented dryly.

“Yeah, Rogers, what happened?” Natasha asked, a smirk playing on her red lips.

When Steve ignored her, Sam answered, “He dragged Brock Rumlow across the ring last night.”

“Brownsville?” Bucky asked, turning in his seat to look at Steve, brows furrowing as he took in Steve’s full appearance, bruises, cuts, and all.

“Yeah,” Steve grunted, putting on his sneakers. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about it—not before a cup of coffee, at least. “Can we go now? I’m starving.”

It didn’t take long to walk to Coulson’s, only a few blocks down. The diner was a staple for them—they had been going there since high school for late night burgers and milkshakes, and Bucky realized that despite all of the stress from the last few weeks, his and Steve’s tumultuous relations with Y/N, some things never change.

He had to admit his annoyance and anger with Steve and how they had handled everything. Bucky didn’t think he himself was blameless—he acknowledged his own part, not supporting their girl enough, not being perceptive enough to realize how she was suffering. He wouldn’t apologize for punishing her when she deserved it, but he was sorry for everything else.

It was driving him crazy. He wished he could tell her this—beg for forgiveness—but he didn’t know how.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake,” Bucky said, looking over the menu. “And a BLT. And fries.”

Sam raised his eyebrows from across the table. “That all?”

“I’ll have a side salad, too. Dressing on the side.”

“You’re a beast, Barnes.”

Steve stayed silent through the exchange, only speaking to order a breakfast spread and a coffee. He remained as such throughout most of breakfast, even as the others made conversation; how Sam’s latest fling with a girl from the Bronx was going, the latest Giants game, and construction for the Manhattan location of the Widow’s Web. Only once Steve had finished his first cup of coffee did he speak at all.

After Natasha mentioned her relationship with Wanda, Steve asked, “She’s still working at the Web?”

Natasha nodded, eyes lighting up with amusement as if she could see where Steve’s train of thought was going. She was always able to see through him like he was made of plastic wrap. “Yeah, but it’s a pain for her to commute now that she moved into their new apartment.”

“Where is their apartment?” he asked, trying to seem nonchalant.

She scoffed, but the smirk on her lips told him she wasn’t annoyed with his query. “I don’t know if I should tell you, Rogers. I’m perfectly aware of how Y/N broke up with you—”

“She didn’t break up with me—”

One of her perfectly groomed eyebrows arched so high Steve thought it might detach from her forehead. “Oh? Well it sure seems like it.”

His voice strained with effort as he resisted the urge to yell at her, or punch something, or flip the table. He was working hard on not making scenes in public. “I’m not asking for the address. Just making conversation.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Right. Well it’s not too far from the university. Wanda said they can walk to class.”

“Classes have started already?” Bucky asked, eager to smooth over the tension still radiating from Steve.

“Yep,” Natasha popped her lips, that sly grin coming back. “And don’t ask me what classes your girl is taking—I have no idea about her.”

Steve rolled his eyes and mumbled into his coffee mug, “She’s not our girl…”

“Not anymore she’s not.”

“Nat.” Bucky sent her a look, not mean, but stern and exasperated as she tried to rile Steve up further. “Knock it off.”

Steve looked at Bucky then, really looked at him—for probably the first time that entire morning. He took in the tight t-shirt Bucky wore, straining against his chest, the sleeves rolled up on his thick biceps. The man in front of him—the man he had known his entire life, who he had grown up with, who he had seen blossom from an awkward teenager into this beautiful man.

It wasn’t hard for Steve to admit that he missed him.

So things had been tense between them—Steve knew Bucky was mad at him, and Steve’s mood was rarely much better—but Steve missed Bucky. He knew Bucky would come around eventually. Not many things could get between their years of friendship.

Bucky held his gaze, wondering what Steve was thinking—and then Steve’s lips quirked up in a smirk behind his mug, his eyes sparkling with something suddenly.

Oh.

Well, Bucky was still a little pissed off, but he could work with that.

He was never good at holding a grudge, anyways.

Maintaining eye contact still, Bucky picked up his milkshake and wrapped his lips around the straw, taking a long sip and letting Steve observe the pucker of his red lips, the hollow of his cheeks as he sucked.

Steve licked his lips, mouth parted for a moment, entranced at the display, but their attention was diverted as the food arrived.

As Bucky started on his BLT, Natasha asked, “Buck, you coming to the party tonight?”

Bucky nodded, mouth full, and Steve asked, “What party?”

“A rave in East Village. Wanna come?”

Bucky swallowed and looked at Steve again—Steve, who was looking back at Bucky in an almost challenging way.

“Sure,” Steve said, surprising Bucky. “I’ll come.”

“Don’t need to go defend your title in Brownsville?” Bucky asked. Part of him still wanted to be angry at Steve. However, another part was excited for Steve to go tonight. He couldn’t remember the last time they had gone out together—it was before Y/N, maybe even before Peggy. Not that Bucky had been partying much the last few years after he got clean, but he was excited still. They could fool around like they used to, and it would be like old times.

Steve shrugged. “I think I’m done fighting. For now.”

Bucky snorted, but grinned at his friend. “You’re never done fighting, Stevie.”

It was later that night, almost midnight, when Steve saw Bucky outside of the nightclub in Manhattan, and he almost had an aneurysm at what he was wearing. A skintight silk button down shirt, unbuttoned halfway down his chest, matched with the tightest jeans he owned. His hair was down, long at his shoulders, a piece braided in the front. Red lips slick with spit, skin a little shiny, it was clear that Bucky had already pre-gamed earlier with Natasha.

As they stood behind Natasha, who was whispering to the bouncer, saying some sort of magic words to gain them entry, Bucky slung his arm low around Steve’s waist, swaying on his feet a little.

Steve slid his arm around Bucky to steady him, and his body tingled at the feeling of Bucky’s slimmer frame against him. He had always loved being able to support Bucky like this, hold him up when he was drunk. Steve was always the skinnier one growing up until they finished high school and then somehow he grew taller and filled out.

Bucky always said he loved Steve either way, and he was the only one to love him when he was tiny.

“How much have you had to drink?” Steve murmured to him, voice a soft growl close to Bucky’s ear.

Bucky shuddered, his shoulders vibrating under Steve’s arm. “Maybe one or two martinis at the Widow’s Web.”

“One or two?”

“Or five.” Bucky shrugged. “You know me.”

“Yeah I do. All too well…” Steve trailed off as the bouncer ushered them inside.

It was packed, lights flashing green and blue. Streamers, bubbles, and glitter floated around in the air, giving the sense of being underwater. Go-go dancers stood around the crowd on pedestals, dressed in clamshell bras and tight scaly skirts. Heavy electronic music played, and Natasha led the boys through the throng of dancers up to the bar. She managed to get them drinks relatively quickly—even though the bar was crowded with people, the bartender seemed to recognize her and got her order together pretty quickly.

She got them all shots of tequila. Steve cringed at the taste; it reminded him of the last time he had drank tequila and the bad decisions that had come with it.

After two more tequila shots, Natasha was pulled away by somebody she knew, and then Steve felt Bucky tugging at his waist.

“Come dance, Stevie!”

Steve had no chance to respond before Bucky was pulling him onto the dancefloor, expertly weaving through the crowd and then grinding his ass against Steve.

Well, Steve wasn’t going to protest.

He hadn’t gotten off since before the funeral, and he hadn’t fucked Bucky in much longer, and he was getting that craving again. Bucky was always the perfect sub for him. Something Steve admired about Bucky was his ability to switch between roles so well.

Another thing Steve admired about Bucky was his tight little ass, which Bucky was grinding against Steve’s half-hard cock like he was being paid for it.

Steve’s hands settled on Bucky’s hips, gripping tightly and moving them as he pleased. Bucky’s back was pressed tight to Steve’s chest, and Steve’s lips skimmed his ear, his neck, his jaw, where he nipped harshly at the bone, eliciting a deep groan from Bucky that rumbled through Steve’s chest.

After a few songs, the tequila started to kick in, and Steve felt bolder. His hands wandered up and down Bucky’s sides, his chest, skimming across soft bare skin juxtaposed by coarse black chest hair. He took a handful of Bucky’s pec, squeezing, slipping underneath his soft shirt and pinching at his nipple.

“Missed you, Buck,” Steve groaned in response to Bucky’s breathy whimper.

“Steve,” Bucky gasped as the man behind him brought his other hand to cup Bucky’s growing erection through painfully tight denim. His hands worked Bucky’s chest and cock in tandem until Bucky was shuddering and shaking, turning around to face Steve. “C’mere—” Bucky muttered before crushing his lips to Steve’s.

The kiss was deep and filthy, tongues dragging against tongue and teeth, lips sucking apart with lewd sounds drowned out by the music. Their bodies gyrated against each other to the beat, Steve’s hands gripping Bucky’s ass in a bruising hold, keeping their cocks pressed against each other through two layers of denim. Bucky fisted Steve’s hair, ran his hands down Steve’s neck and back and then tucked up underneath his shirt, lying flat against heated skin, damp with sweat.

Steve sucked a bruise into Bucky’s neck, all teeth and harsh sucks, while Bucky ran his nails down Steve’s shoulders.

“Want you,” Steve breathed into Bucky’s ear.

“Then take me.”

Without any warning, Steve led them to the men’s room, shoving Bucky into a stall and dropping to his knees. His hands worked Bucky’s jeans off quickly, pulling them down his thick thighs.

“No underwear, Buck?” Steve smirked up at him. “Feeling hopeful tonight?”

Bucky snorted. “The way you were eyeing me at the diner earlier told me all I needed to know about how things would go tonight, Rogers. You’re not as slick as you—oh, God—” His insults were cut off as Steve suddenly took Bucky’s entire cock into his mouth, down to the root, nose buried in Bucky’s shaved pubic hair.

Another thing Steve admired about Bucky was that Bucky kept everything so soft and smooth down here. It made giving head a downright joy.

“Oh, Stevie, please, yes—” Bucky gargled, slanting his fingers through Steve’s hair and holding him there.

Steve pulled back and dipped his head down, licking down his long shaft, tonguing the join between his cock and balls, and then running his tongue all over his balls until they were dripping spit. Steve sucked one into his mouth, playing with it with his tongue as Bucky chanted pleas and praise, mind lost at the feeling of Steve’s mouth on his most sensitive area.

Maneuvering their bodies so Bucky was leaning against the stall wall, Steve encouraged Bucky to spread his legs as much as possible with the restraint of his jeans around his thighs, even yanking his pants further down to get Bucky’s legs as wide as they could go in this dirty club bathroom. Then, Steve dove in, starting again at Bucky’s balls, sucking and tonguing them, and then licking back around to Bucky’s taint and burying his face as far as he could between Bucky’s legs to lick at the rosebud between his cheeks.

“Oh, fuck!” Bucky gasped raggedly, holding Steve’s hair with both hands and shoving.

It was an incredibly awkward position for Steve, face shoved into Bucky’s balls, mouth desperately trying to reach his asshole, chin absolutely soaked in saliva. One hand pumped Bucky’s cock and the other gripped his ass cheek, kneading and spreading them.

“Fuckfuckfuck—” Bucky canted his hips forward, trying to get more of Steve’s mouth on him. “More, Stevie, please—more—”

Steve pulled away, grinning at Bucky’s disgruntled whine. After a sharp smack to Bucky’s ass, he shoved at his hips. “Turn around and bend over, baby.” His voice was so rough and gravelly it made Bucky shiver.

Bucky obliged quickly, and Steve wasted no time in spreading Bucky’s ass and placing the width of his tongue over Bucky’s little pink asshole, letting the split that had collected in his mouth drip down his tongue and over Bucky’s rim and down his perineum, coating his balls in slick saliva.

Once Bucky’s hole was wet enough, Steve put his mouth fully over the puckered flesh, sucking at the rim hard. Bucky cried out, shoving his ass back into Steve’s face and reaching down to slowly stroke his own cock.

Next, Steve straightened his tongue and slowly breached Bucky’s entrance, letting Bucky’s flesh tense and relax around him. Meanwhile, Bucky kept up a string of pleas and cries, begging Steve for anything and everything.

“So good, Stevie, so fucking good—God—fuck!” Bucky growled. “Yesyesyes—please, Stevie—more—want your fingers—”

Steve could never deny Bucky.

Retracting his mouth, he sucked one finger into his mouth and covered it until it was dripping wet, then slowly entered Bucky’s hole, glistening with spit in the dim fluorescent light of the bathroom.

“You like that, baby?” Steve asked as he started fucking Bucky with his finger. “You like me licking out this sloppy little hole?”

“Steve—yes—fuck—”

“You like me eating you out on this dirty bathroom floor? You’d let me fuck you anywhere, wouldn’t you, Buck?”

“Yes, yes, please—”

“You’re filthy, baby—fucking filthy for me—all for me, right?”

“Yeah, Stevie, only for you—please let me come—”

“Come for me, sweetheart—that’s right—” Steve leaned forward and licked around the finger pumping in and out of Bucky’s ass, reaching his other hand around to play with Bucky’s balls until he could feel them drawing up against his body. Bucky let out a few little moans, breathless and sweet, and then Steve felt the other man’s release dripping down onto his hand.

Bucky leaned against the stall, pressing his face against the cool metal, while Steve took away his finger and gave a few soft licks to Bucky’s rim. Then he stood up and slotted himself behind Bucky, kissing up and down his neck, sweeter and softer than he had any right to be after the depraved words he spoke.

Bucky slowly turned around, a little shaky on his feet and a little awkward with his pants still down. They kissed, sloppy and hot, until Bucky reached for Steve’s erection.

Steve stopped him with his hand that wasn’t covered in come. “I want to take you back home. Wanna come in your ass.”

Bucky groaned low in his throat and nodded, mouthing at Steve’s cheek and jaw. “Want that—yes—please, Steve—”

Steve chuckled and pulled away. He locked eyes with Bucky, keeping eye contact as he brought his hand up and licked the come off his fingers, sucking them into his mouth one at a time. “You always taste so good, Buck.”

He offered some to Bucky, and he took his fingers in between his plump red lips and sucked all of his own cream off, not blinking once as he worked.

Once they were cleaned up, Steve helped Bucky put his pants back on, and then kissed him once more. “Let’s go home.”

Later that night, as they cuddled in Bucky’s bed, Steve’s come still leaking out of Bucky’s ass, Bucky murmured into Steve’s shoulder. “We gotta get her back, Stevie.”

Steve sighed. He had thought the same thing a hundred times in the past week alone. “I know… But how?”

“I don’t know… But we have to figure it out.”

“Wait, wait—” Wanda grunted in the middle of the stairwell, between the fourth and fifth floors. “Wait! I said wait!”

All the girls around the dresser groaned. Two on one end and two on the other, Kate in the middle doing her best to keep the piece of furniture together, the girls paused their hefting and heaving at Wanda’s demand.

They had found the dresser on the curb two blocks down and had come too far to give up now—especially when dressers this size would usually cost upwards of three hundred dollars, more money than any of them had put together.

But moving furniture was never easy, not when the elevator was broken and they lived on the top floor.

“What?” Kate snapped, poking her knee forward to stop one of the dresser drawers from sliding out and falling through the stair rail and down four and a half floors. “Why are we stopping?”

A petulant whine came from Wanda’s throat. “I need a break!”

“Oh my God!” America moaned, “We’re almost there!”

“We’re only halfway there!” Wanda protested, gently setting the dresser down on the landing. “This thing is fucking heavy!”

“Are you seriously doing this?” Y/N asked, stationed right beside Wanda. She adjusted her grip on the dresser so it wouldn’t fall down and squash Kamala and America.

“I have no endurance, okay?”

“At least she admits it,” America muttered, and the girls huffed a laugh, too out of breath for much else.

Kamala groaned “We need to speed this along! I have a meeting with my advisor in forty minutes.”

“For what?” America asked.

“Changing some classes to fit my major.”

“What’s your major?” Y/N asked. She hadn’t yet gotten to know the other girls very well, only having lived with them for about a week. Classes were about to start and she was nervous enough—she hadn’t even thought about a major yet. It seemed like every time she turned a corner, there was another thing she was behind on.

And the list was mounting—she hadn’t done her FAFSA, hadn’t signed up to the bill sharing website they needed for utilities, hadn’t bought the required textbooks for her classes. She had only picked her classes a few days prior—and the pickings were slim so close to the start of the semester. The four classes she chose included a seminar, a class about ancient history, a chemistry course, and an introductory art class as an elective. While trying to find classes, she realized she knew almost nothing about anything, so she decided to try a well-rounded schedule of courses this semester to try and figure out what exactly she wanted to do with her life.

“I’m film,” Kamala said.

“What about you guys?” Y/N asked.

“I’m doing theater,” America said, “But after I graduate I’m going to law school.”

Kate said, “I’m doing engineering. I’m torn between chemical engineering, electrical engineering, and mechanical engineering.”

Wanda added, “I’m doing business. My dad wants me to take over the liquor business one day, so I guess I’m getting ready for that.”

Y/N hadn’t even thought about graduation or anything after that. She couldn’t fathom the work that went into engineering, or law, or business, or getting a job, or—

“What about you?” Kate asked her.

“I’m undecided,” she shrugged. “I don’t really know what I want to do yet.”

Wanda smiled at her and nudged her with her knee. “You have plenty of time to figure it out.” She smiled back, but there was a sinking feeling in her stomach, a suspicion that she wasn’t good enough or smart enough, inadequate in so many ways.

Did she even deserve to go to NYU? Was this truly the right place for her?

Or was her purpose in life to serve the mob, as her parents had told her all her life?

Kamala grunted, lifting the dresser again. “Can we get going? I don’t want to be late.”

They all started lifting together, grunting and groaning in turn, when a familiar voice called from the bottom of the stairwell.

“You girls need help?”

“Ouch!” Wanda yelped as Y/N stumbled and almost dropped the dresser on her foot. The blood left her face and she started to sweat—and not from the physical exertion.

Bucky’s face appeared on the other end of the dresser, taking the load off of Kamala and America. “Here, you girls get the sides.”

Y/N remained silent as Bucky directed them up the rest of the stairs, carrying most of the weight of the dresser and helping America position it in her room.

“There ya go,” he breathed, wiping his hands on his pants.

“Thank you so much!” America said, a wide grin on her face. “I mean, we could’ve done it without you, but I probably would’ve ended up punching Wanda in the face with all her whining.”

“Hey!” Wanda frowned, smacking America lightly on the arm.

Bucky chuckled. “Anything for one of Y/N’s friends.”

The three girls who knew nothing of Bucky turned to face Y/N, shocked.

Kate asked, “You know him?”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Kamala asked.

Her response was an awkward chuckle. “Well I was trying not to drop the dresser… So…” She hadn’t looked at Bucky once since they got into the apartment, pointedly avoiding eye contact with him now as he stared at her.

It was his first time seeing her in a few weeks, and his heart leapt at the sight—she looked good, really good. Hair shiny, skin glowing, nails painted bright red. She wore high waisted shorts that showed off just the slightest hint of her ass, and a skintight off-the-shoulder top.

Bucky missed her, but he had to admit, if this is how she was dressing now, maybe college was the right decision for her.

“Why don’t you show me around, sweetheart?”

Y/N glared at him; however, he knew she wouldn’t say anything against him—hoped, at least, that there still might be something left of their obedient little doll. Still, she hesitated, worry on her face behind her anger.

Wanda touched her arm. “I’ll keep an ear out.”

She sent Wanda a grateful look and turned to leave the room. As they left, Wanda whispered to the other girls, “He’s her ex-boyfriend. Total asshole.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at that but paid close attention to the girl in front of him as she showed him the living room and kitchen. He noticed they seemed to have no space for anything, boxes all over the place, counters cluttered with pots and pans. That was run of the mill for a Manhattan apartment, but he was sure it was a pain in the ass.

He followed along as she pointed out each bedroom in the hallway. “And this one’s mine,” she said shortly, stopping in front of the closed door at the end. She made no move to open it.

“You gonna show me inside?”

“No.”

He chuckled, delighted at her fiery attitude. He could deal with the brattiness as long as she was actually speaking to him. “C’mon, sweetheart. I swear I won’t try anything. We’ll leave the door open.”

The way he looked at her with eyes so earnest, big and blue and pleading—it weakened her resolve. She considered it for a moment and then looked away from him, chewing on her lip, suddenly a little shy. “It’s really small. Nothing fancy.”

“Darling, I just wanna see it. I don’t care how it looks.” He brushed past her and took hold of the doorknob, letting himself inside.

Small was an understatement. Her queen-sized bed took up half the space, and the rest of it was filled with boxes. The walls were drab—greying white, holes in the drywall everywhere. Clothes littered her bed and the desk chair from her old room that was shoved into a corner between the wall and the bed.

She weaved her way through the boxes and plopped on the bed, leaning back on her hands and staring up at him. “I don’t have room for a dresser. And I don’t have closet space. So…” Her sentence finished with a shrug.

“Aw, honey…” He frowned, surveying the space, mind working with how he could help. “Maybe I can build you some shelves. Hang ��em up right here, and here,” he pointed to a few spaces on the walls. “I could put hooks or racks in them so you can hang your clothes.”

Her mouth twitched. “You don’t have to do that. Really, it’s fine.”

“I want to. It’s the least I can do, after…”

For a moment, she said nothing. Then she asked, “How did you get my address?”

“Natasha told me.” It was a lie, but she didn’t need to know about the extent of his and Steve’s scheming over the past two weeks.

“Why did you come here?”

He pulled his backpack off, and that was when she noticed it wasn’t his backpack, it was hers. It was the one she had packed for the few days before her dad’s funeral, when she was staying at the boys’ apartment. She had left her things there and completely forgotten about it until now.

“You left this stuff at our place. I wanted to return it.”

“…Oh.”

“And I wanted to check on you. I wanted to see how you were doing.”

Her lips seemed to waver between a smile and a frown, pink and glossy, just like when he first kissed her at her birthday party. He kept his distance, not trusting himself if he was too close to her, and definitely not here, in her room, which smelled like her, like sweet flowers and vanilla.

“When do classes start?”

“Next week.”

“What’s your schedule like?” She hesitated, looking at him with an untrusting, wary expression. He sighed, holding up his hands in innocence. “Just so I know when to come and install the shelves.”

Her eyes narrowed at him, but she relented. “I have classes every day in the mornings and swim practice every afternoon. I’m looking for a job too but I don’t have anything yet. You can come next weekend.”

He smiled at her, that bright, happy grin that lit up her childhood. “Great. I’ll see you then.”

He turned to leave, and before she could stop herself, she scrambled off the bed and grabbed his wrist before he could go. “That was it? That’s all you came for?”

Looking down at her, he nodded, schooling his expression into one of honesty and concern, which was exceptionally difficult when all he felt was hunger for her. “Yeah—what were you thinking?”

Quickly, she let go of his hand. He immediately missed the feeling of her soft skin on his. “I don’t know.”

He smiled again and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. God, how was she so soft? “You seem happy, darling. And I want you to know I’m proud of you for making it here, making it to NYU. You seem to be doing well.”

She paused, then nodded. “I am.”

“Good.”

And with that, he gave her bare shoulder a squeeze and left the room without another word. She stood still, shocked for a moment, focusing entirely on the tingling feeling where his hand touched her shoulder, wondering why her skin was breaking into goosebumps just from a simple, innocent touch.

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iamwhoiamtmblr · 4 years

Text

Title: Remember Who You Are

Story Rating: Chapter 18 - PG

Warnings: Violence, Swearing

Relationships: Nomad Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Master List - Link to Other Chapters

New Mood-board for the series. (Captain America photos property of Marvel)

***My work is to not be posted on any other site without my permission. If you see it anywhere other than Tumblr please inform me***

All characters are property of Marvel.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin_(Marvel_Comics) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Night_(comics) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Skull

Steve jumped off the couch in a snap. His phone was going off. It was the alarm in the cabin. “Who could be there?” he thought. Steve shrugged it off. The alarm had gone off before, nothing major happened; mostly animals. He called the local police to inquire about it. They told him they would investigate.

His neck was sore from sleeping on the couch, at least he slept some. He was anxious to find out if anything had changed. He went down to the conference room. All the members of the team were there. There were agents scrambling through amounts of data on their computers. Trying to create any possible scenarios of where you were. They were also looking for Crossbones, any possible sightings of him or his team.

Steve was surprised. Everyone was trying to help. Thor slapped Steve on the back. “Are you ok?” “No. I won’t be until this is all over.” “How’s Bucky?” (Steve) “He’s on his way here. Once he’s back I can determine what happened and how severe his injuries are.” (Bruce) Steve sighed. “Any leads?” “Nope, none. We’re trying to contact local authorities in case they have anything.” (Nat sighed) Steve sighed. “We have to think like her, how we trained her.”

Even though all of the team some of the training, it was best to ask the expert. “Where’s Coulson?” (Tony) “Don’t know, I’ll check with Fury.” (Hawkeye)

15 mins later, Coulson entered the room. “How can I help?” “What’s the most basic training given to the agents?” (Tony) “Along with firearms, tactical, hand to hand combat, and how to survive.” “Survive?” (Wanda) “We train them to have a back-up plan in case they get caught and need to flee.” (Coulson) “Flee, back-up plan?” (Rhodes) “Yes, if they are ever caught or on the run, they need a back-up plan.” (Coulson) They all looked at each other – Flee.

“So Y/N fled from the complex after Gita tried to kill her. With no memory of who she is, her basic instincts would kick in.” (Scott) “Thanks for coming Scott.” (Steve) “I came as soon as I heard Y/N was missing again” (Scott) “So what would she do next?” (Tony) “Possibly to have a way out, get away from the situation. Go off the radar. Anything they needed. Transportation. Have a secure place to store some things they would need.” (Coulson) “So planes, trains and automobiles?” (Vision) “Ok, we need to scour any footage from any possible departure location.” (Thor) “Yea but they’re already doing that, looking for her.” (Wanda) “Wrong, you need to look for someone who’s not running away; trying to blend in, not to be noticed.” (Coulson) Everyone turned and stared.

Steve didn’t want to hear anymore, nothing new. He left the room. The Avengers watched him leave, they all knew Steve was at his wits end. If they didn’t find you soon, this would affect Rogers for the rest of his life. They’re incredibly worried about him on how much more of this he could take. They continued brainstorming.

“I think there’s more to this than Crossbones, I seen the reaction when Steve seen that key chain. I don’t think Crossbones wouldn’t keep her all this time, he would have tortured Steve and then killed her in front of him. Maybe he’s in league with someone who could have gotten the keys.” (Wilson)

“He’s right. There’s more to this than him. Key chain is the key…no pun intended.” (Nat) “Red Skull was killed by Steve wasn’t he?” (Tony) “No, the Tesseract killed him or as Steve put it, he seemed to be swallowed up by the Tesseract. He just vanished. Steve was on the ship with the bombs before he ditched it. The Tesseract fell into the ocean where your father found it..” (Fury)

”The Tesseract is a power source, one of the infinity gems. The power of the cube would have taken him into itself or it would have destroyed him.” (Thor) “Red skull – any known associates?” (Bruce) “None, most everyone he worked with is dead or the few that remain are deep underground.” (Fury) “Anyone with a grudge?” (Hawkeye) “Could be anyone.” (Nat) “Family?” (Vision) Fury looked up… family?? None that he could think of. “Just rumors….nothing notable.” (Nat)

“Rumors?? Maybe, there always was a possibility. Not everything was completely known. Schmitt was always into everything.” (Fury) They all looked at each other. Could there be something they don’t know. “Friday – Check all known associates of Red Skull” (Fury) “Checking…..analyzing…… Red Skull also known as Johann Schmidt, known as the leader of Hydra - deceased. Dr. Armin Zola – chief scientist for Hydra - deceased Susan Scarbo….follower of Red Skull and his cult - deceased Crossbones, also known as Brock Rumlow - at large Baron Helmut Zemo....programer/handler of Winter Soldier program - being held in the RAFT prison.”

“Who’s Susan Scarbo?” (Wanda) “Friday?” (Tony) “Susan Scarbo…follower of Red Skull. AKA Mother Night. Member of the cult of Hydra. Leader of the Sisters of Sin. Her adopted daughter is Sinthea, daughter of Albert Malik” (Friday) “Wait a minute, Albert Malik?” (Fury) “Albert Malik is an alter ego of the Red Skull!” (Friday) “WHAT??” (Tony leapt out of his chair) “He has a daughter??” “OMG, would she still be alive after all this time?” (Scott) “If she was born after he was subjected to the serum she could be.” (Fury) “That’s it! She’s the one that wants revenge!” (Wilson) “Where’s Steve?” (Thor) “Should we tell him?” (Vision) “Not yet, I want to be sure! If he knew Red Skull has a daughter, he might not react very well” (Nat)

Steve was walking down to the hall - His phone rang. It was the police in Maine. “We didn’t find anyone at the cabin….huh…what?.…just a sec sir.” “Tell him about the report.…” (He hears someone in the back ground)” “Oh yeah, just a second, we did get a call about some woman who wanted to go to the logging road where you cabin is. She was dropped off at the entrance. A waitress, Flo, at the local diner was concerned because she was by herself investigating the haunted mill down there. She said a truck driver name Arnold took her. We checked with him, he did drop her off but there was no sign of her.”

Steve began to panic.”What did she look like? Did she say what her name was?” “Nope, no info on that according to the report. Do you want us to go back there again?” (Police) “No, I’ll handle it. Thank you.” (Steve)

Could it be her? Maybe she’s starting to remember? The cabin was a special place for both of you, not only where you first made love but you were able to spend time with her with no one knowing about it. If she’s out there alone, she’s in incredible danger. “I’ve got to go now!” Steve turned and went back into the conference room.

Coulson was back from contacting the authorities. “We got report from some passengers at a bus terminal they seen a woman in pj’s. Unfortunately, the description was vague though.” (Coulson) “That could be her. Coulson, take some more agents down to the station and ask around. Report back asap!” (Fury) “Got it.” (Coulson)

Steve pondered telling them about the cabin. Maybe he should go alone. “I need a break. I need some air.” (Steve) Everyone looked and stared. “Go, if anything comes up, I’ll get you.” (Nat) Steve nodded. No one wanted to say anything to Steve until they were sure it was you or about Red Skull’s daughter.

Steve walked out of the room, heading down to the air field. He made sure no one was following him. Once he took off in the Quinjet, it would only be a matter of time before the rest of the Avengers came after him. If he knew she might be there, Crossbones would too. It seems he knew everything about him. “Have to get to her first!”

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themenof--marvel · 5 years

Text

For Those We’ve Lost (Chapter 6)

Summary: It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark and his daughter have made eye contact, or any contact for that matter. With the ever-looming threat of disaster and loss haunting Tony, and with the new Avengers Headquarters completed, maybe there was a chance for him to find a sliver of happiness in his lost family. After living in the shadows for so long, will his estranged daughter be willing to reunite? Will she even have a choice when she’s thrown into the chaotic world of the Avengers? Perhaps they both stand to gain more from this overdue reunion.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Daughter Reader

Warnings: none

**Non-canon storyline**

Taglist: sims-4-cc0707 @camu-winchester @xapham @just4muggles @aekr @sweetcarolinestudies @callie-bear15

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

The following morning, Y/N awoke with a start. Her hair fell out of its bun, scattering over her yes. Her wrist twitched, the bangle no doubt detecting something that was of importance to her.

She flicked her wrist and reached to her side table for her phone. The time shone back at her, causing her to cringe and squint through the darkness. She sucked in her teeth when she saw 9:52AM on the phone. Looking down at herself, she was still in the pantsuit from the previous night. She must’ve fallen asleep the moment she lay down.

Turning to stand on her feet, her bangle gave her another jolt of warning. She ignored it and lazily strolled over to the bathroom. She removed the bangle and disrobed, ready to start the day fresh.

When she emerged through the steam with a towel holding her hair out of her face, she rushed to put on an old ‘The Smiths’ shirt and joggers. Content, she hopped on her desk chair and let her hair fall against her back. This was common for her; she let her hair dry itself once she was at work.

She returned the bangle to its place on her wrist and allowed it to reveal its reason for shocking her. With her computer booted up and the bangle relaying the information, she was synced up to take on anything.

Under the surface of her eyes, the software on her wrist displayed a news article that was published around 9AM that morning. The moment she saw the title “Lost Girl Found!”, her heart leapt.

She recognized the girl from the paper last night. She skimmed the article, noticing that the two men’s names she gave the victim’s father were front and center. Both men were charged with kidnapping and attempted sexual assault. Y/N sighed, both relieved that the family was reunited and that the father didn’t reveal what or who tipped him off about the men.

She nodded, and removed the bangle from her wrist, turning her full attention to the computer in front of her.

Just as she was typing in her credentials to check her requests, there was a confident knock at her door.

Her fingers hovered above the keyboard as she waited for another knock.

Silently, she grabbed her bangle, moved off the chair and crept to the door. The second knock, more powerful this time, sent a regretful shock through the stillness of her apartment

“Y/N Stark, you home?” a vaguely familiar voice announced through the door.

She reached for the aluminum baseball bat she kept by the door and held the doorknob with her other hand.

She could hear the visitor’s sigh, frustrated at her silence. With the outer edge of his fist, the man slammed on the door and said, “I’ll just knock the door down if you don’t open it.”

Y/N released an agitated breath and gripped the bat tighter. Turning the door knob, she held her breath, preparing for the worst.

As the door swung open, she peeked out into the hallway.

In front of her, stood someone she recognized from the Avengers’ party; the guy with the bun.

Seeing her worried gaze, he offered a thin-lipped smile and asked, “You planning to swing that thing?”

Y/N released a breath and loosened her grip on the bat. She knew this guy must’ve been sent by her father, which lessened the chances of him being dangerous.

“You look different when you’re not dolled up,” he noted, skimming his eyes from her damp hair to her joggers.

“What do you want?” she asked, her voice showing how guarded she still was.

The man scoffed and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hooded denim jacket. “Well, nice to meet you too. I’m Bucky; your father sent me.”

Y/N eyed the man carefully; she recognized the name, but he looked different now. He wore an unlabeled hat which hid his messy hair. “Why did Tony send you?” she asked, taking a step back to return the baseball bat to its place.

“I’m supposed to bring you to the headquarters.” He looked at her wearily and continued, “You wanna change or you going like that?”

This time, it was her turn to scoff. “Oh, I'm not going anywhere.” She stood confidently in front of Bucky, ready for the challenge.

Bucky took a step closer, across the threshold of her apartment. He stood an arm’s length away from Y/N and took a deep breath. With steely eyes, he remarked, “You can go willingly or by force. What’d you think?”

Returning his stare, Y/N did her best to hide her intimidation. Her bangle rested comfortably around her wrist, and with a thought, it informed her that a car was outside waiting, with Happy as the driver. Knowing that, she felt less like she was being kidnapped. Sighing, she replied, “Guess I should change; wouldn’t want to shame your boss.”

As she moved to her clothing drawers, Bucky responded. “He’s not my boss.”

“Sure, he isn’t,” she replied with her back to him.

Bucky stepped back into the hallway, giving her her space. Y/N dashed to the bathroom and put on a bra and a hoodie, complete with jeans. Gathering her hair into a ponytail at the base of her neck, she emerged, still setting her mind to meet her father.

She met Bucky in the hallway and locked her apartment.

When they reached Happy, she offered him an accusatory smile. “Happy, you couldn’t have warned me about this?” By ‘this’, she gestured to Bucky.

Happy opened the backseat door and replied, “Thought the surprise would do you some good, kid.”

Y/N shook her head and entered the car. Bucky took the passenger seat next to Happy and began messing with the radio.

With Bucky flicking through the stations, the car took off, taking the same route to the headquarters. Y/N closed her eyes and took a deep, silent breath, settling in for the ride.

The moment the car crossed the gates of the compound, Y/N tensed up. In the daylight, the expanse of the grounds was much more noticeable and she was impressed to see so many people already utilizing the area.

The car pulled up by the front entrance of the building and she had to shield her eyes from the sunlight striking off the glass entrance doors. Her door pulled open and she glanced at Happy, letting herself think if it was too late to run away.

As the got to her feet, one of the entrance doors opened and out came her father, skipping down the front steps. She watched as he carelessly approached her. His smile widened when he came closer, and she found herself wondering when was the last time she’d seen him smile that widely that wasn’t a photo-shoot.

“Welcome, officially this time,” he greeted, letting his hands point to the building. “How about the grand tour?” he asked, already taking a few steps towards the building.

As she followed silently, Bucky tapped her on her left shoulder. Instinctively, she spun and scowled at the unfamiliarity. He immediately put up his hands in defense.

“What?” she asked, still a bit put-off from the shoulder tap.

“Stark said there’s a room here for you. He said he’d show you when you got time.”

As Bucky continued to watch her for a response of some sort, Y/N stared ahead. Her eyebrows knitted in thought as she automatically followed the crowd. She couldn’t help but wonder if that were true. Did Tony actually want her here or was Bucky just saying that to tick her off? Could she even stand to live in the same place as Tony after all this time?

“Y/N?”

Y/N’s eyes snapped to her father, responding to his call.

“I was asking if you liked the interior; Pepper tried to decorate it but didn’t want to seem too imposing.”

Casting a careless glance, she responded, “It resembles a government building.” Her tone came out a lot more still than she intended, but she didn’t apologize.

Tony nodded and continued walking, this time heading for a grand staircase off to the left of the building.

At the top, the area opened into a lounge area, complete with breakfast nook and coffee station. The sofas and chairs were carefully placed but the room was empty of people.

“Why don’t you stay here while I just go check on something.” With that, Tony left the two of them alone.

She automatically went towards the coffee station, desperate for her daily dose.

As she lifted her arm to the coffee holder to see if there was any coffee to be made, her eyes fell on her bangle. She gave herself a mental scolding for forgetting her one weapon at hand.

She activated it silently and asked it to hack into Jarvis once again. This time, she wanted to get a full layout of the headquarters and get access to the camera/security system.

She fiddled with the coffee machine until her software responded to her. She got the plans and the access coding for the security, but the software alerted her of something else.

Whenever anyone tries to hack her own system, it records it and alerts Y/N. This time, it showed her a track log of attempts stemming from this location, first beginning around midnight. She couldn’t help but wonder if that was Tony trying to get a feel of her system after she left the diner last night.

All thoughts ceased as Tony returned to the room, being shadowed by a taller, more well-kept man. She instantly recognized him by his media name “Captain America”. Looking at him now, she finally understood it. It wasn’t so much that he looked like the most upstanding citizen; his very essence and aura oozed leadership and optimism.

Before she could utter a greeting, Bucky rushed forward and slapped Steve on the shoulder. Now, she stood alone with three men staring at her.

Her software alerted her of something; a collection of surveillance photos that tracked back to at least 3 years ago till present day. They were all pictures of her, leaving and entering her apartment building. She was being watched, maybe even monitored.

Her pulse sped up and all she wanted to do was escape. Tony began to introduce her, but she couldn’t hear anything as her heartbeat reached her eardrums, deafening her. She could feel the pace behind her eyes and her software sent out red alerts that her heart beat was on a dangerous rise.

All she could think about was leaving and never coming back. While the men stared at her expectantly, she wished that her mind would stop racing and her senses would return to normal.

Of all things to happen, she didn’t want her father to know that she was prone to such things as panic attacks.

#Avengers #avengers fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #tony stark #stark daughter #stark!daughter #Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader

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the-canary · 5 years

Text

Heartbeat, Heartbreak - B.B (5/8)

Summary: Three musketeers until you started to fall in love. But, have you been living since then? (Modern!Reader/Bucky Barnes).

Prompt: “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

A/N: This for @notimetoblog‘s writing challenge. well good luck with this chapter.

Feedback is always welcomed.

“They were spending all the time in the world together, they were at Bucky’s house all the time. I was so confused, but I just kept going back to them, they were my best friends. But, then out of left field James asked me out to homecoming and by then...I knew I had a crush on him, but I kept it myself and said yes! I was so excited, but he seemed preoccupied the whole time and I never saw Natasha...Until I saw them kissing underneath the bleachers and I ran for it. I don’t think they ever went after me.”

There are different versions of the truth depending on how much the person knows and from what angle they are looking at it from. Some people just blind themselves of what they have known all their lives because it is better to live with that than that actual reality of the situation, others simply just don’t know the truth for a variety of reasons.

Rebecca Barnes knows all this too well, as it is an important part of her job. As a defense lawyer, she knows that she has to fight against a certain truth that it placed by the prosecution in order to prove her client’s innocence.

She had seen the truth played out in hundreds of different ways, and sometimes it didn’t have a happy ending. Staring at Nat from across the diner booth, she knew that the slightly older woman’s version of the truth had played out a certain way, but not without loss or grief that she had seen her brother (and by extension herself) pay in the long run of things.

“So, why do you need me to be there again?” Rebecca can’t help but question, as Nat gives her a weary smile.

“If I explain the truth of the matter, I don’t think she’ll believe me,” the redhead lets out with a sigh and deep down Rebecca can’t help but agrees just a little, “She’ll believe James even less, but you’re a neutral person in the matter who experienced everything first hand. She might take your word for it.”

Rebecca frowns just a little before returning to her cool pokerface and leaning further away from the redhead, as if she was trying to protect herself, though Nat would never fault her for it. Unlike her older brother, Rebecca Barnes didn’t wear her heart on her sleeve, though she was just as sweet and kind when need be -- it was a fault for all the Barnes children.

“It’s been years, Natasha,” Rebecca breathes out, “What are you getting out of letting this all out in the air? You want her in your life again, like Jamie dreams about all the time. You wanna hang it over her head? Make your move and hope you’re best friends again?”

There is a bitterness that edges itself in Rebecca’s tone before she reals it back in. The brown-haired woman lets out a huff of air before looking at green eyes without a hint of fear.

“Bucky and her can have whatever they want,” Nat starts off, but Rebecca already knows that deep down she is only giving her a half truth, “I just think we all need some peace from this...just say the truth and let it go.”

Rebecca stays quiet for a moment, thinking about those murky memories from all those years ago, before stating: “For Jamie and none else. That’s all you’ll get from me.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

James isn’t really that surprise when he gets a text from Natasha that she is going to be busy at the time that they are usually supposed to meet for lunch.

James is a little surprised when he makes to the Stark Tower, asking if you are in, when the receptionist tells her that you had called in sick for the day. He frowns at the sight of the flora --all his gifts-- decorating her desk before thanking her and leaving to find some place to eat on his own.

James can’t help the little fear of dread that bubbles in his stomach for a moment and while he knows that Nat is as stubborn as him when it came to these issues -- he didn’t think she would go seek you out to talk. Hell, she didn’t know where you worked or anything.

So, as he walks to a nearby deli, James takes a breathe and hopes that everything is just some strange coincidence.

You spend all morning on the day you supposed to meet Natasha in bed, as Jane and Darcy flutter around you trying to get you eat something though you are sure you are going to throw it up sometime afterwards and prepare for the inevitable -- that meant Darcy going through your closet and trying to figure how good you were going to look. At least, so something went right about this whole mess.

She lines up different outfits for you as you stare at them once you get out of the shower and can’t help but laugh just a little at the certain ways both of them take of you. It wasn’t something that you did with Natasha when you were younger -- she had always moved to the beat of her own drum and you struggled to follow. It didn’t surprise you when the end came and she stopped talking to you, somehow you knew it was the inevitable like all those dozen of high school movies you had seen since then.

You just didn’t expect for it to hurt so much. You hadn’t expected for her to take James with her too.

However, you knew deep down that James wasn’t yours from the beginning either. He had only come up to you back in elementary because Natasha sat next to you compared to everyone the wanted the new kid’s attention. Even though you had orbited around each other for so many years, James Barnes was just a star for you to see flash by -- even though…

Hey, I-I was wondering if you wanted---

You squash the familiar memory, the one that you had played countless times over in desperation and questioning because for whatever Natasha told this was her side of the story and it wasn’t going to answer why James had even asked you out in the first place.

“Just got get this over with,” you whisper to yourself, as if getting ready to rip of a bandage from a still festering wound as you glance over at all the outfits that Darcy had step up for you and pick the softest pastels you see. It wasn’t much, but it comforted you just a little.

You proceed with your daily routine, though just a bit later in the day.

Clint’s, from what Darcy had read on its Yelp page, was an off-the-wall bistro that served some great sandwiches and pies, which the younger woman had decided you should get her since she wasn’t going -- she had to cover for someone at work that afternoon. And from what you see as you enter the interior --wooden countertop and different road signs hanging from the walls-- it was place you could see yourself going to when you had the time.

“Welcome,” the blond man says to both you and Jane with a tired look on his face, as you briefly wonder how much sleep he got and how exactly he was awake at that moment since it looked like he could slip from his place on the counter at any moment. You just smile, not prepared to talk just yet, as you see red moving about in the back of the dinner.

“Over here!” you can hear Natasha yell, as you grasp on Jane’s hand in that moment, like when you two had decided to go to the frat haunted house for Halloween back in sophomore year. She gives you a weak smile, as you move forward towards the back.

Green eyes meet yours as you take a seat across from her. However, you didn’t expect to see the person sitting next to her.

“Becca?” you question in surprise as the blue-eyed woman gives to a smile and introduces herself to Jane, “What are you doing here? I thought--”

“You thought Jamie was going to be here,” she states now leaning a bit more towards your side of the table than Natasha’s. You nod, as she gives you a sour of smile, “Well, Natasha thought it was better for you to get the story from me.”

“Why would she think that?” you ask, not caring that she is right there as Becca laughs at something -- like she is reminiscing at your endless barrage of questions, something that certainly hasn’t changed in the years since she had last seen you before taking a more serious tone of voice -- the one that she might have used in the courtroom.

“Well, for starters to tell you that I was the one dating Nat at the time , not Jamie.”

You sit there in momentary shock, unsure of where to look before Rebecca moves forward with her account of the way things had happened all those years ago.

“Teenagers are really stupid, ya know. They want to be adults but falter at the first sign of attention. I started talking to Natasha at the start of 9th grade. She had always been this cool big sister type, like you but it slowly started to change. I wanted all her attention on me, so I wrote her letters during the summer -- Jamie helped me know where she was and it just tumbled from there. I don’t know when Mr. Romanoff figured it out, but he didn’t want Natasha anywhere around me...but, Jamie has a serious savior complex sometimes, always has to be the one helping his loved ones. So he told the man -- ‘I’m the one dating your daughter’ -- and that’s how he hid it for a very long time.”

Natasha looks at you, looking at Rebecca in confusion as you speak: “Even if that was the truth, why didn’t anybody tell me? Why was I thrown aside and made a laughingstock during homecoming?”

Rebecca motions for you to ask those questions to someone else, as you turn with tears streaming down your cheeks at the person that dared call herself your best friend once.

“I was afraid,” is all Natasha can manage to say as you give her this wild and confused look before getting up and smashing your hands on the table. You hurry towards the bathroom without another word though your confused and heartbreaking sobs echo in her head for a very long time.

You run that afternoon through your head for the rest of the day, and even into the next day. However, there aren’t any great breakthroughs that come from it and while you can understand where Natasha might be coming from --you remember her father well enough-- there are still too many hurt feelings and festered confusion over what Rebecca had told to stop you from running to the redhead and declaring that everything is mended -- that you could be friends again.

You had left with no grand gestures of reconciliation, and it seemed like that was the end of it, at least for now.

“What do you think I should do?” you question timidly, as you glance at Sam from across the table. The man had decided to take you out to lunch once more, though you were sure it was to get the details out of you as well -- Thor must have told him and you knew that once this was over and done with Sam was bound to tell Pepper.

“I think you’re missing one side of the story,” Sam declares rather cheekily as you groan with a muttered whisper of please don’t make me.

“If you really want to know the whole truth,” he states likes he’s the lawyer from that one series he loves so dearly, “You gotta talk to Barnes and draw your own conclusions from that.”

“I--” you start off, only for Sam to cut you off again.

“Nobody is telling you to forgive them,” he states a bit softer now,”This is all for you. Let it go and learn to live again, hell maybe even go on a date for once.”

“Sam, please don’t try setting me up again,” you answer back, removing yourself from the serious talk into something more light-hearted known as your failing love life. However, you knew deep down that he was telling the truth -- it was the most logical step in settling this matter.

You had to talk to James and decide what things to finally let go of.

Part 6

#notimetoblog550 #james buchanan barnes #Bucky Barnes #james barnes #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #james buchanan barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes childhood friends au #bucky barnes ceo #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fan fic #series: beat and break #fabiola trying to write

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