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#SOUL CRUSHING
medievalfoxx · 3 months
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i was not made for hookup culture, i was made for the most soul crushing experience ever. i was born to feel everything entirely and endlessly. i was made to feel everything deeply
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orangekingfisher · 1 year
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for some fucking reason i dreamt i fell asleep with my boyfriend and my cat and so when this morning i woke up i didn't find them and i was literally like
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and now I miss them both :(
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lifeofatriggeredhoe · 5 months
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But you never loved me…
You loved the idea of me. You loved the passion and attraction. You loved how I loved you. And in the end, you repeated how we fell in love…
with her.
because you never loved anyone.
You just need us all to love you.
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witch--btch · 14 days
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Tokyo Revengers Manga spoilers that everyone needs to see
(if u are can handle it)
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Why did someone have to point out that Sanzu has been present for both Sano brothers’ sui*ides….
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girls-alias · 4 months
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Dean's Dream P7
Title: Dean's Dream P7
Part 6
Words: 1,979
Relations: Dean Winchester X Reader
TW: Sad.
Masterlist
Prompt:
Dean is captured by a Djinn and dreams of Y/N.
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It's been a year now. A whole year of pain and false hope. Today's the anniversary and the feelings from waking up haven't changed. I still look for her and wonder where I had seen her for her to be in my dream. I think I hear her voice, I think I see her smile, I think I see her in the distance but it's never her. I can't count the tears I cried for her, the tears that fell for the woman and the life I had lost. There were no words available to me that could truly express my loss.
Sam had tried everything, I appreciated his help but there was no way to understand or help, he didn't get it. Yeah, he lost Jess but losing Y/N was different in my eyes. I only had her for a day before she was gone again, and yet she promised me perfection; it would have been easy to give me all she had promised.
Sam knew the anniversary today. The anniversary of the day I gained nothing but lost it all. I will admit, I lost the plot a little. I began looking for djinns just so they could take me back to her but Sam always stopped me or they were well hidden.
I groaned as Sam slammed his fist against my bedroom door. I rolled over, pulling the blanket over my head. If there was ever a day that I should be left alone it was today, Sam didn't recognise that or if he did, he didn't care.
"Come on, Dean," He commented loudly as he walked in. I considered using the gun under my pillow. "I already moved your gun, come on. We're going out," He explained he knew what I was thinking. He sighed when I showed no indication of getting up. With a fast swipe, he pulled the blanket off me. I looked up at the ceiling, silently praying for the strength to deal with him today.
I sat up, groaning as I wiped my eyes. "Look, Sam. I'm not in the mood," I explained, anger lacing my tone even though I was trying to sound calm.
"I know but this could be good," He tried, he took a seat at the edge of my bed, looking at me hopefully. I rolled my eyes at his false hope. The stupid hope I had lost not too long ago. "So, you said the houses looked like they were in Salt Lake. I know we've already looked but what if she's looking today as well. She might be looking for you too," I wanted to hope. A month ago, I would already be on those streets searching for her but today, I knew it was a waste of time. I had made her up, she wasn't real.
Y/N'S POV:
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"Dean!" I tried to scream but a tube down my throat stopped me. I choked on it slightly. My eyes quickly wandered around the room. Where's Dean?!
I quickly learned I had been in a coma for nearly 3 months. Doctors didn't expect me to wake, I showed no signs of waking but I knew it was because of Dean. I had asked nurses where he was, asking when he was coming back but they explained sadly that I had no visitors. Really no one? When I was a little more stable, a kind doctor explained that I was brought in for a car crash, my family were in the car but I was the only survivor. He asked if I remembered the crash but I can't remember anything before Dean. I don't remember being young, I don't remember who I was, in my mind, I was Dean's and he was mine.
Therapists took an interest in my case as they all seemed to want to examine my brain. They all explained that dream comas were common but the fact I believed it so deeply and couldn't remember anything before it made my case even more appealing to them. They would try and coax new answers out of me, each week asking if I had remembered anything new, each time growing a little more frustrated that my memory made no improvement but I was fine with that, my whole being believing Dean and my time with him wasn't a dream.
"Oh, I won't make it to my next session," I explained nonchalantly as I gathered my bag and stood from my chair. My therapist, Noah, looked at me confused. I smiled at the thought. "I'm going to Salt Lake City to find Dean," I explained but his eyes showed sorrow. His smile faded and tightened into a thin line.
"Y/N, I don't want to upset you but you've already looked, it was just a dream," He reminded me though I'd never be able to forget his opinion as he says it multiple times in one session. I rolled my eyes.
"I already bought the coach tickets and I have it planned out this time," I explained but his unimpressed expression told me he doesn't believe me. I sighed, pulling the map from my pocket. I opened it, flattening it on his coffee table. "I start here," Pointing to the coach station. "I'll walk up to the house we had, stay there for about an hour, walk to Sam's house, this way and then get coffee from his favourite cafe and stay local until my coach leaves," I explained, often following the route I would walk with my finger. He looked between me and the map unconvinced. I rolled my eyes again. "It's been a whole year if he's going there to look for me, it'll be today,"
Dean's POV:
I groaned sitting back in my seat as Sam drove us to Salt Lake City. A part of me wondered if I actually would see her but I fear getting my hopes up because it will only hurt more.
Y/N'S POV:
I stepped off the coach with a wide smile, holding my backpack straps as I looked around hopefully. Please be here!
I started my walk to the house. Music played through my earphones as I walked, smiling happily at everyone I passed, once I made it to the neighbourhood I smiled even wider. I looked at the house, the dream. I sighed, a little disheartened he wasn't already waiting for me. I took a deep breath, strutted over to the house and took a seat on the curb, I took my earphones out so I could listen out for him calling my name. My attention turned to my book to pass the time but I could barely focus. Any noise and I was looking around for him. I wonder if he'll look different. I wonder if he smells different. I can't lose hope.
Dean's POV:
As we drove the streets that felt familiar and heartbreaking, I found myself looking around for her. I shouldn't have got my hopes up but Sam's right. If she's looking for me, it will be today.
The houses began feeling more and more familiar, and recognising them only made me gasp. "Turn left," I instructed eagerly.
Y/N'S POV:
I had been sitting on the curb, coming up to two hours now, I was getting anxious not seeing him but plastered a smile on my face. I started the walk to Sam's house. Following the route, we had driven a year ago.
Dean's POV:
"Stop, stop," I opened the door before he even stopped. I rushed up the path and porch steps knocking quickly. I found it! I found the house. I waited impatiently before a man answered the door looking at me confused. I looked at him slightly confused as I expected Y/N, my beautiful Y/N. "Sorry, doesn't Y/N live here?" I asked, looking past his shoulder slightly.
"No, I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong house," He explained. I sighed.
"Thanks anyway," I turned back, walking back as Sam stood, door open looking over the car. He looked at me hopefully but I shook my head. I climbed in resting my head on the headrest. Sam got back in, apologising for my heart breaking another time.
"We'll wait here, maybe she'll think the same thing," Sam said hopefully. I ignored him as I rested my head on the side, mindlessly looking out the window, a tear falling from my eyes with ease.
Y/N'S POV:
I made it to Sam's house surprised. The house had been pulled down to make room for a kid's park that was still in construction. I sighed continuing on to Dean's favourite cafe. It was a long shot he would remember it but it's still something.
I made it in, ordering myself a drink before taking a seat at a table. All my plans felt like a waste of time. Maybe Noah and everyone else was right. Maybe I truly did dream of him. Maybe I was making myself crazy by believing it. I put my headphones in, resting my cheek on my palm as I practically sulked while reading. My heartbreak echoed through the air. I wiped the tears as they fell. All hope faded to nothingness.
Dean's POV:
I reluctantly guided Sam to the house he had lived at. Finding it was a park under construction only hurt my heart more.
"Let's just get some coffee and have a think about it," He suggested but I just want to go home.
We parked up, finding a coffee shop further down the street. I sighed, heading straight for the tables as Sam went to the counter to order our drinks. I took a seat, noticing the seat behind me was unoccupied but a book and backpack saved the seat. I sighed, resting my head in my crossed arms as I waited for Sam.
Y/N'S POV:
I got back to my seat, barely paying attention to anything around me. I moved my backpack onto the table, carefully climbing into my seat as a troubleman took a seat behind my chair. I sat, my headphones returning to my ears as I resumed my position, reading with my cheek on my palm.
Dean's POV:
Sam came over, drinks in hand as he took a seat opposite me. I drank hastily. I just want to leave. Sam began brainstorming things we could do to look for her. I sighed, resting my chin on my palm as I rolled my eyes. I don't have the strength in me anymore.
THIRD PERSON POV:
Y/N checked her watch. Sighing a final time, she rose from her seat, gathering her things and leaving the table.
"I need the bathroom," Dean instructed, getting up from his seat. She looked down at her phone as she changed the song on her playlist, a song full of rage playing through them as she felt numb, the heartbreak can only hurt so much before you feel nothing.
Though expected they did not see each other. It seemed to have been timed imperfectly. If she had waited one moment later or if he had got up one second earlier they would have bumped into each other. Yet she still walked out of the cafe and he still went to the bathroom. Neither knew their true love was behind them and neither knew their breaking hearts could have been healed with one second. One second either of them could have changed to meet but neither knew, and neither would know. She still got on her coach, and he still drove home. Both believed the dream was fake and both left, their heart empty and souls crushed.
If they knew how close they were to having the reunion, it would only hurt them more. Both lost hope, neither looking for each other again. The emptiness never fades and pain never heals. He owned her heart and she his, forever.
Masterlist
Part 8
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santryss · 2 years
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It’s sob your eyes out hour.
So y’all know how in the Song of Achilles, when Achilles leaves he hugs Chiron and promises he’ll be back? And Chiron is just standing there, watching, knowing that he won’t.
And this is mythologically accurate too. In some accounts, Chiron raised Achilles and Patroclus. He not only trains them as warriors, but raises them like he would his own children.
Now, imagine this moment again in the Song of Achilles. Achilles is promising he’ll be back, that he’ll live through the war and return to Chiron, and Chiron has to stand there and listen to him all while thinking “𝘕𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵”. Imagine the 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬. He’s sending these boys he’s raised, his sons in everything but blood, off to war knowing that he’ll never see them again. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he has to do it while that same son is promising he will.
If that doesn’t hurt enough, imagine Chiron actually got his hopes up. Achilles was one of the strongest Greek warriors to ever live (and while Chiron didn’t know it, Achilles’ anger had to be restrained otherwise he would have defied the Fated and ended the war before it was supposed to) so maybe, just maybe, he could defeat the prophecy and come home. But then he learns, 10 years later, that is wasn’t true. Both of his sons had died, they weren’t coming home. They couldn’t keep their promise. And Chiron’s heart shattered all over again because even though he knew it couldn’t happen, he had hoped.
The Song of Achilles broke my heart and I knew what was going to happen before I even read it. But thinking about this showed me that there were still pierces of my heart to shatter 😭
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jojo-the-bird · 2 months
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- Rumi
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silentradi0 · 8 months
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i don't know how to explain this but winner and memories have the same vibe and this is the best genre Conan has ever done
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lexxwithbooks · 2 years
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📖: 𝑵𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍 𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 📚🚲❤️‍🩹
✍🏽: 𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲
Get the book! 🌟
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medievalfoxx · 2 months
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i wish we were end game
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girlstrawberries · 25 days
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i’m hungry for a love that only one person has ever provided for me, and now they’re long gone. im afraid that i will be hungry forever.
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I hate job descriptions that sound like they were written by conartists who don't know what the job is.
Responsibilities:
Nurture enriching atmosphere to further solidify relationships
Overcome objections and thrive in fast paced situations
Perform high-quality and professional demonstrations of skill
Nothing but buzzwords, "families is where wings take dream!"
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sadgirlbadpoems · 6 months
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Please don't make me say it,
Don't make me throw myself at your feet and beg for a love that I'll never be able to earn.
You know that my very soul calls out to you.
And yet we both know, I can never have you.
Not in anyway that counts.
He said those words again tonight and I felt them like a knife twisting ever deeper into my ribcage.
You love him in the way I love you,
And I have to live with that.
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damnitiloveyou · 2 months
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It dropped on Hulu. I caved. I watched. I died. Thanks.
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sometimes i wish i didn’t live with my partner so i could relapse and not have to tell them. it would make me feel a lot better, i hate this i don’t wanna be an addict anymore i just wanna be able to stop and never think about it again. it feels like a crushing weight everytime i get triggered or upset and i feel like i won’t be able to take it for much longer, it’s been a year and a half clean and yet i wanna throw it all away to feel better again
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mindincatastrophe · 1 year
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"Do not go far from me"
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Song: 'Inkpot Gods' by The Amazing Devil
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