#I'm fairly proud of how this one turned out so I hope the wait was well worth it! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

costkappen · 2 months

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Best boy《CLxReader》

Tags....☆smut,blow job, sub!Charles, Dom!reader, no use of y/n,fluff,charles is insecure,reassuring

Warnings....☆smut!mdni, a bit of sad!Charles but nothing too sad or angsty

Word count....☆1795

A bit of a warning, this is my first time writing so it not the best,also please correct me if you find any spelling mistakes as I didn't proof read this,anyways enjoy I hope I did good!

He looked so pretty high up on the podium, his smiling face half covered by the shining Australian sun making his pretty blue eyes shine like I've never seen before.

After the podium celebrations I went after him and pulled him in the tightest hug ever

"Congratulations Charles! P2 and double ferrari podium, I'm so proud of you" his face lit up at my praise, something I've picked up since I first met him, he gloats over the littlest praise aimed towards him, even if it wasn't said to him directly, he has a habit of kicking himself down way more that necessary when the smallest thing goes wrong, even if it wasn't his fault he always finds a way to beat himself up over it, so over the years I've made a mental note to sower him with praises as much as I can. "Thank you chéri, I'm also really happy with the team today, let's go to my drivers room I'll take a quick shower and then we'll go back to the hotel"

The drive to the hotel was fairly silent, I didn't say anything to him but I saw how his lips twitched and how his grip on the steering wheel was so tight the tips of his fingers turned white. Yes he was happy about his podium, but there was something he was not telling me so I made it my personal mission to find out what was bothering him so much on a day that was supposed to make him feel like he was on cloud 9.

Once we arrived to the hotel the first thing I did was change into something more comfortable and then I went looking for him, "Hey baby" I said as I sat down on his lap on the couch "How are you feeling? You must be so happy, we have to celebrate with Carlos and Rebecca tonight you boys did such a good job"

The praise made him smile, still he didn't look like his usual self "Yeah I'm really happy Chéri, I think the team needed this win, I can't wait to celebrate with you all" then he gives me a quick kiss on the lips and looks at me without saying anything else

" Alright then if you're so happy then why are you acting like that?" "Acting like what?" He says with a nervous giggle as to make me think I'm just over thinking it. "Like you're about to cry Charlie, don't lie to me I know you too well." He then brings his hand to gently stroke my cheek, as if I was the one that needed comforting right now, "I really can't hide anything from you Chéri?" He let's out a sigh,his whole body deflating "I'm happy for Carlos, I really am, it's just that I can't stop thinking how it should've been me on the first step, not because I don't think that Carlos deserves it but because I've got the whole ferrari team and the tifosi rooting for me, and everytime I get second place instead of winning I feel like I'm letting down everyone, especially you" well I surely wasn't expecting that, yes I knew he had some troubles in believing himself, but I didn't know just how little he thought of himself, "Charlie I can promise you're not letting anyone down,and especially not me! Do you not know how proud I am of you? The redbull is been a monster of a car and so far you've been the only one to get as close to it as second place, everyone at the motorhome can tell you that, everyone is so proud of you even when you don't win we know that you could do so much more if we had a better car and if redbull didn't have a rocketship instead of a car,no one is upset with you Charlie" his lips were quivering and his pretty blue eyes were shiny and looked like they were ready to burst with tears, but I couldn't let my pretty boy cry on a day like this, not when he was supposed to be celebrating and happy with his amazing results, "Alright Charlie how about I show you just how much i am proud of you?"

I take his hand making him stand up from the couch "Where are we going Chéri?" He asks confused as ever "to the bed baby, I'll show you what good boys like you get when they've been so good" and as I make him get on the bed I get a good look at his flushed face, cheeks red and a little shy smile,

"I'll start slow okay?" He nods eagerly his head and I chuckle at his shyness, I start by prepping kisses all over his handsome face and I stop at his lips to give him a more passionate kiss occasionally sliding my tongue on his bottom lip, stroking his arms with my hand I could feel goosebumps forming, as I made my way to his neck I made sure that my kissed lingered a bit longer as to leave pink patches all over his neck, light enough to show but not too harsh so they would be gone the next day, as much as I wanted to leave purple marks all over him I knew pr would kill him if he showed up in public covered in hickeys, so just this once I'll refrain myself.

I could feel him shiver under me as I got to unbuttoning his shirt and I kissed all over his chest "Chéri please..don't tease me like this" he pleaded looking at me with his puppy eyes "What do you want me to do Charlie? I'll do anything you want as long as you ask me nicely " I was being a bit mean to him but I knew that he loved it when I took charge and teased him, "Please just touch me..anywhere I just want to feel your touch" his words make me melt, and how could I say no to him when he was begging so prettily "What a good boy you are Charles, asking me so nicely, don't worry I'll make you feel so good" He shivers as my hand gets lower, working on his pants to get them off, I slide them down along with his underwear as he raises his hips to help me get his pant off of him, I look back up staring at his pretty leaking dick, he wasn't the biggest but he still had the prettiest dick I've ever seen, clean and neatly groomed, I started tracing the veins that run across his shaft, that pulled a whimper out of him so I started using my tongue savoring his flavor on my tastbuds as I moved to his tip, clear beads of precum already leaking out "your dick is so pretty cha, so sensitive for me.." I look up at him smiling and circling my tongue around his tip "p-pleas chérie..take me in your mouth no more teasing" his pleas and the way he looked at me while he was making me go crazy, he just looked so good, still maintaining eye contact I took him as deep down my throat as I could go, seeing his face contorted from the pleasure gave me more confidence so I relaxed my throat and stopped when my nose hit his lower stomach, he tasted heavenly and I could hear his whimpers and soft moans, I bobbed my head up and down using my hand to stoke him at his base where I could not reach with my mouth, and he looked completely gone, eyes rolling back, hands gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white and he let out the prettiest moans, but his breath was staring to hiccup and he started squirming against the sheet so I knew he was getting close "what is it cha? Getting close my sweet boy?" I cooed at him getting my mouth back on him as soon as I stopped talking "mhh- Chéri please don't stop i-" He gasped and as I looked at him I saw his eyes roll back, he was completely blissed out "what is it pretty boy, Can't talk anymore? Am I making you feel so good your brain can't form words?" His breath hitched and he let out a shaky moan, this time I decided to not make him beg me to let him cut, he had been so good and he deserved it, so I started focusing on his tip, circling it with my tongue and sucking it harshly while my hand stroked him up and down as the other held him at his base,I was so focused on getting him to his sweet and deserved release I almost didn't hear him warning me that he was about to cum, "look at me Charlie,I want to see your pretty face as you cum down my throat like a good boy,just like that cha let it go for me" my words pushed him off the edge and he gripped my hair slightly pushing my head down on him, I got the hint so I took him as deep as a could and he heal me there, his loud moans filled the room, at this point I knew that whoever was staying in the room next to us hear him but I couldn't care less, I just wanted him to feel good, as i looked at his fucked out expression I felt his sweet cum filling my mouth, his mouth hanged low as he let out one final loud moan and fell back on the pillows, I slowly pulled him out of my mouth, took his face in my hands and made him look at me as I swallowed his cum, and he smashed his mouth on mine, sliding his tongue inside my mouth passionately kissing me, a quiet thank you.

"Are you feeling better now Charlie?" I looked down at him as he was laying on my chest trying to gain his breath back "yes- yes thank you chéri I'm feeling much better chéri thank you" He smiled and kissed my neck and nuzzled his face as I covered us up with the covers "well then I'm confident that you learned your lesson and will start to believe in yourself more yes?" I say as I start stroking his hair

"Well I don't know chéri, if that's what happens when I doubt myself I might just start doing it more" He laughs and hides his face in the crook of my neck, I gently smack the back of his head but I also laugh at his comment "I love you charles, you know that right?" "I know chéri, but I love you more."

#charles lecrelc #formula 1 #cl16 #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #sub!charles leclerc #one shot #formula 1 oneshot #formula 1 smut #x reader #cl16 x reader #cl16 x you #no y/n #f1 fanfic #f1

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oleander-nin · 10 months

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For the follower special may I please request yan!Leo and yan!Mikey with the following prompts?

18.a soft kiss

and

"You ate it?!"

Hope you don't mind me mixing verbal and not verbal.Also keep yourself hydrated and well fed.Don't forget to sleep too!☆◇

A/N, not important: I am so sorry for the wait, I hope you like it. Despite how long this took and how much I struggled, I'm fairly proud of this one. And look at that! I'm not posting at 2 am for once! I've almost finished all my follower special requests. Only one more to go and I'm home free. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: stalking, mention of planned kidnapping, drugging, planned drugging, sleeping pills, nonconsentual touching(non-sexual)

Words: 2001

Prompt(s) requested: 18(A soft kiss) & 17("You ate it?!")

Summary: Mikey and Leo can't get along when it comes to you

Mikey hums to himself as he takes the cookies out of the oven, kicking the door closed with his foot. He sets the hot tray on the counter, peeling the oven mitts off his hands. The cookies he made were perfect. It was a small batch, only around three cookies, but it would do. After all, they played a very important role in Mikey’s current plan. He grins to himself as he scrapes the cookies off the tray and onto a cooling rack. He was sure to beat Leo now.

Mikey looks proudly down at his recent baking work. They were your favorite. Made just to your taste to be perfect. With an addition of .5 mg of Triazolam, of course. He needed these to bring you home after all. Mikey puts the now empty cookie sheet into the sink to let it soak for a while. It didn’t need immediate attention, and it was always easier to scrape off the cookie crumbs after it soaked.

With one last satisfied grin towards his cookies, Mikey walks off and heads back to his room with his feet softly padding against the ground. It was best to let them cool for now before giving you one. He just had to make sure you only had one. He’d feel awful if he accidentally caused you to take too much and get hurt.

As Mikey steps out, the kitchen is quiet once more. The stacks of dishes sat in the sink, waiting to be washed and put away. The room maintained a peaceful calm for an entire ten minutes before Leo walked in, his head held high. He moseys over to the fridge, leaning in while examining the contents. Leftover pizza catches his eye and he grabs a slice, ignoring the bright sticky note that showed Raph’s claim over the food.

Leo shuts the fridge and leans against the appliance as he eats, his eyes drifting over the kitchen. He grimaces when he spots the piled up dishes. It was his turn to clean them this week, and he was dreading it. Hopefully he could pass it off to someone else.

His drifting eyes land on the three cookies, sitting innocently on their plate. Leo quickly shoves the rest of the pizza in his mouth, wiping his hand absentmindedly on his shorts to get the grease off his fingers. Leo couldn’t help but move closer to the mouth-watering cookies. Looking around the room for anyone watching, Leo picks up one of the cookies and takes a small bite, leaning against the counter and over the plate.

Leo’s eyes dilate as he smiles, the cookie melting on his tongue. Before Leo even realizes, he eats all three. Looking down at the empty plate makes Leo freeze, the last few crumbs of the final cookie falling from his mouth. Leo stares blankly down at the empty plate. He didn’t mean to eat them all. He barely even meant to eat two.

The sound of a furious gasp makes Leo’s head whip towards the door, a shaky smile on his face. He waves at his angry brother, Mikey’s face twisted into a look of shock and fury. Leo understands immediately he messed up.

“Did you eat all of them!?” Mikey asks. His frustration was clear on his face as he stared his older brother down. Mikey was just as tense as Leo.

“They were really good?”

“That doesn’t- You- Leo!” Mikey sputters, trying to process his words properly. This wasn’t fair. He made those for you, and now Leo ruined his chance at bringing you home. Mikey was beyond devastated at Leo’s thoughtlessness, and even madder he now had to find more Triazolam. That was his last amount of it that he could squirrel from Donnie, and he didn’t want to have to find more on his own. All that bribing, and for nothing. His voice is a harsh whisper when it comes out, anger forcing his voice into a tight tone. “Those were drugged.”

“And delicious.” Leo jokes. He laughs nervously at Mikey’s unimpressed face. Leo clears his throat, glancing down at the empty plate. “What with? And why did you drug cookies, Mikey?”

Mikey runs his fingers over his face, groaning. “Point five milligrams of Triazolam each. And they were for (Y/n).”

Leo considers this for a moment. Leo wanted to be angry, mostly because Mikey was planning on doing something with you and didn’t tell him, but he would’ve done the same thing. Leo no longer felt bad for eating Mikey’s cookies.

“Okay, well,” Leo starts, brushing off any fallen crumbs from his wrappings. “Maybe you shouldn’t have left them out in the open with no warning.”

“Maybe you should’ve asked.” Mikey shoots back.

Leo and Mikey stare at each other in standstill, neither moving a single muscle. To move was to give in to the other, and both were too sure they were in the right. Well, Leo knew he was wrong, but he wasn’t going to admit it. Not after learning Mikey was going to use the cookies on you. Leo had to get you before Mikey, and if eating the cookies aided in that, then so be it.

That’s it. Leo needed to get you before Mikey does, and if Mikey was going to start being this sneaky, so would he. Leo shifts, sighing dramatically. His pout is dramatized as he presses the back of his hand to his forehead, leaning heavily against the cabinet. “I think the medicine is kicking in, I need to go check with Donnie to make sure I’m okay. Wish me luck, hermano.”

Mikey’s face scrunches up at Leo’s words, his eyes studying his older brother. Mikey didn’t believe him in the slightest, he knew it took way more than three simple doses to put even a small dent in their tolerance to drugs. They were designed as war machines after all, there wasn’t much that could touch them. It just sucked when it came to pain meds, those never helped enough no matter how many they took.

Leo slips past Mikey and heads towards Donnie’s lab, Mikey watching him until he turns a corner and disappears out of sight. Mikey stands in the doorway of the kitchen, his foot rapidly tapping the ground. Mikey highly doubted Leo was actually going to Donnie’s lab for a check in. The slider was up to something, Mikey was certain. He just wasn’t sure what.

Mikey stands in the kitchen for only a moment more before retreating himself, making his way to his room. He still planned on going to your apartment, at least to see you to make sure you were okay. He just needs to grab his sketchbook first so he can practice drawing you a bit more. He would bring you home some other day instead.

Mikey grabs the sketchbook and small pencil bag sitting on his desk, tucking it into a small messenger bag before slinging it over his shoulder and strapping it tight to his shell. Mikey makes his way out of the lair, climbing the nearest fire escape so he could move by rooftop. It was much quicker, and in Mikey’s humble opinion, more beautiful. Mikey heads towards your house, taking his time. He wasn’t in much of a rush, considering he knew you would be there. After finding your schedule that Leo had in his room, which was stupidly left in the open on his desk, Mikey was able to memorize it so he’d know where you should be at all times. Unless you broke your schedule, which was highly unlikely.

You never broke your schedule.

Mikey admires the way to your apartment, gazing out at the skyline. The light from the full moon lit everything he needed, so he didn’t need a flashlight. Plus, New York was bright anyways. The last time he needed a light to lead the way, there was a power outage after a thunderstorm. Mikey would rather not have lightning be his light source ever again.

Skidding to a halt at the end of the roof on your apartment building, Mikey prepares to climb down onto the fire escape so he can make his way into your apartment. Looking over the edge, Mikey nearly falls down when he sees Leo. So that’s what he was up to, ditching the lair to come here. Mikey grumbles for a moment before climbing down to meet his brother, pouting slightly. He wanted to be alone with you, not have Leo be here too.

Leo looks up at Mikey, his eyes widening in surprise before morphing into slight annoyance. His voice was hushed. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing! This sure doesn’t look like Donnie’s lab-”

Leo panics slightly at Mikey’s loud voice, quickly clamping his hand over his little brother's beak. Leo holds a finger up to his lips, shushing the younger turtle. Mikey tries to argue, but then sees into the window. You were in your bed, fast asleep.

Leo stares at you, his features melting into a soft smile. He loved the way you looked in your sleep, so peaceful and snug. He was confident you would look the same way in his arms. Mikey seemed to be thinking the same, his eyes softened in a similar way. Mikey reaches over to the window to tug it open. He wanted to bring you home. He was done with waiting.

Leo’s eyes widen as he watches Mikey start to pull up the window, yanking his brother back by the lip of his shell. Mikey’s head pops into his shell before coming back out, glaring at the older turtle.

“What was that for?” He hisses, keeping his voice low. Mikey was still trying to get to the window.

“What are you doing? Are you trying to wake them up?”

Mikey scowls. “No! I’m just… I’m taking them home.”

“Absolutely not!” Leo protests, taking his brother by the shoulders. Leo sighs, shaking Mikey a bit as he continues whispering. “They just fell asleep. If we do something too bold, they’ll wake up.”

Mikey pouts before looking at your sleeping figure. He was right. Your breathing was light and he could see your hands still twitching. You were in too light of a sleep to be messed with much.

Leo lets go, moving on the fire escape to face you once more. Mikey frowned. He didn’t want to just watch you and leave. That wasn’t enough. Mikey moves to open the window again while Leo sputters behind him.

“What did I just say?”

Mikey ignores his brother and opens the window fully, dropping silently into the room. Leo hesitates, but follows. He couldn’t let his brother have all the fun after all. Mikey moves up to you and brushes some of the hair off your forehead before planting a soft kiss to the skin. He stands up, smirking at Leo. You hadn’t even flinched.

Leo rolls his eyes before pushing Mikey out of the way, an indignant cry coming from the box turtle. Leo scans your face with a soft smile. He couldn’t wait until you were home safe with him. Maybe Mikey was right, taking you now couldn’t be that much of a setback, could it? Leo kisses your cheek, his hand cupping your face and caressing the soft skin.

Mikey sputters behind him and Leo chuckles. Older brother privileges were the best. Leo continues to push Mikey away playfully, his eyes flickering between you and his brother. Both him and Mikey freeze at a soft groan coming from you.

You shift in your sleep, making both of the turtles step back, their teasing quickly ceasing. Leo and Mikey eye each other. The tension between the two rose, but this time from fear of being caught. A flash of blue illuminates the room for a moment, only the main occupant being left. You roll over in their sleep, unaware of the danger you just avoided.

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undertale-writing-times · 1 year

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Is it possible to have the yandere prompt "I'm madly in love with you!!" with Nightmare?

I just think it'd be interesting if he tried to deny that he had these "pure" feelings - said feelings are more corrupt than pure - for a human, and that he eventually just snaps and finally succumbs to what he actually wants; them. He is a King and a God of negative emotions, so of course he will take this human for his own. Why shouldn't he indulge himself and claim what he desires?

Here we go! I hope you like this ^^ I thought it turned out interesting.

Nightmare had a problem.

A thing that he would never want to admit, not even to himself. It was something that always appeared in the back of his mind, and he hated the fact that it did.

He had a crush on someone.

At first, he really had no idea what the feelings were. He thought that it was just interest! He really did but then his body started to feel weird whenever the person was around. It felt like he needed to be near them.

Nightmare really thought that they did something to him, did something to make his body feel the way that it did, and he thought about killing them so he wouldn't have to feel those weird feelings anymore but, for once, he decided to wait... wait and watch.

That was a while ago, and now he knew what the feelings he felt were.

He loved them.

He was in love with a human, a soft and squishy creature. He knew that most humans were dark creatures, they spread negativity and hated even their own kind for stupid reasons.

So many people hated each other for the people that they love, their skin color, or even where they were born! It was idiotic but it gave him a lot of negative feelings, so it was good for that at least.

Y/n was someone that lived in one of the AUs that Nightmare had been watching, one that he thought at first about stealing from and leaving for dead but then he saw them, and it was like his body wanted to be near them. The feeling startled him, and he closed the portal so he wouldn't have to see that and tried to calm down.

After that, he started to look at the world more often. He would lie and say that he was waiting for a good time for them to go but pick other places and just watch that one.

He was fairly sure that his underlings thought he just enjoyed watching that one, like how Error watched this one that was... Spanish, he thinks?

Whatever, he didn't care about that.

Nightmare tried his best to ignore the feelings. He tried to focus on other things but each and every day, he would look at Y/n, and fall harder and harder for them. He hated seeing them talk to other people, he hated seeing them with others. Those people didn't deserve to be even remotely close to them.

Y/n deserved so much, and he believed that he would be the only one to be able to do that for them! They would be so happy with him, right? He wouldn't allow them to feel any negative emotions, he would be able to take them away... and they'd be happy, right?

Finally, after almost... two years of watching them, he figured out what he should do. He took his boys to the AU, telling them to go crazy and to get everything that they needed and left to go get Y/n.

He was sure that the rest of his group would be able to handle this, it wasn't like they could fail, right? They better not fail. He would not be proud of them, if they did.

He could hear people shouting and running away, most likely one of his underlings attacked a random person... they often did whenever he told them to go crazy. Best to do in their mind, if he ever wanted to be sneaky, he would just take Error and Killer the other two aren't the best for being... sneaky.

As he was walking, the sounds around him were a little annoying... he looked around, humming softly under his breath, he knew that Y/n would be here. They always worked at this place around that time... he saw them peeking around a corner, making him smile and he moves his tentacles quickly, wrapping around them and lifting them off the ground.

They start to shout so he moves his tentacle to cover their mouth "Ah ah, it would be best for you, if you did not scream. I don't like loud sounds, myself" He pulls them over looking up at them, studying them humming softly. "You're even more beautiful in person..." he mumbles to himself, mostly.

Against their best judgement, he noticed the fact that their cheeks flushed at that, causing him to laugh softly. Aww... isn't that cute?

He reaches up, touching their cheek then lets his fingers drift down to their chin. "I would hate to have to hurt you, you're so breath taking to me. I think you'd be happy to be mine, wouldn't you? It isn't like the others would be able to treat you as well as I can"

They try to say something around the tentacle over their mouth, kicking their legs at him so he rolls his eye and wraps the other tentacle around their legs and starts to walk. "I never thought I would ever feel this way for anyone... let alone a human." he pulls them closer to himself, looking at them with a relaxed smile, tracing his finger along their jaw, "I'm madly in love with you, it seems..." they shiver at his touch.

Once he and his underlings left that AU, and got back to his own world, he walked to one of the rooms and set Y/n in there. "There are clothes in the closet for you, I would love for you to wear them. Get comfortable, I tried to get everything I thought you would enjoy" and closed the door, locking it then he left to go and tell his underlings about Y/n.

They already saw them, of course, but they had no idea who this random human was. He, honestly, was quite happy to explain that Y/n was his datemate and the newest queen of the multiverse.

If they ever lash out at him, or tell him that they don't want to be in this world anymore, that they miss people back where they came from? He's going to get quite angry himself. Why would they even want to go back there?! He's been treating them so well! He will tell them that everything he's done for them, they should be happy he did it.

He could have easily killed them, break them.

If they ever try to run away, or leave his castle, he wouldn't really care. There's no way that they could leave the area around the castle, this world was empty other than his castle but, honestly, the idea of them running away fills him with rage and once he sends one of his underlings to get them back, he'll punish them. Either a few days without food, or something of that sort. Depending on how annoyed he is with them, is how bad the punishment will be and who he will send for them.

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jaymzeecat · 7 months

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I'm Gonna Ride This Plane Out of Your Life Again, I Wish That I Could Stay, But You Argue...

I woke up on Wednesday morning fairly early (as I usually do) and cleaned up the AirBnB apathetically. Sad and tired I just wanted to crawl back in bed but we had an early check out time (10:00 AM) so there was no chance of that. Le sigh.

It was a sad morning knowing that this was the last few hours but on the plus side we did find a nearby place to get some breakfast which was pretty good (we both had the Vegan Chorizo Hash). The staff at the restaurant seemed so nice and friendly I felt bad that there were no other customers (save for a Door Dasher who was complaining about the wait for the food). If you're ever looking for breakfast in the Montrose neighborhood of Chicago maybe hit up Breakfast House.

On the way to the train we saw a heart under the overpass which appeared to be made of smeared human feces and if that doesn't make you feel loved by a city I just don't know what does!

The long train ride to O'Hare was spent with me mostly weeping "I'd cry too if I had to go back to Portland." The Funny Bunny said. I was at least looking forward to getting back to Alzee and the cats (a life with no cats?? Who needs it?)... but I started ugly crying as soon as we parted ways at the airport. It was so bad that the security lady was like "ARE YOU OKAY???" I would've thought crying at the airport was a common occurrence but maybe I just cry like a crazy person, haha.

The wait to board wasn't too long thankfully and the plane was a little nicer than the one I flew in on. I got the impression my seat mate (a white haired older fella) was confused by what I was doing in First Class (don't let the colorful hair fool you, I'm a bougie bitch) but the flight attendant remembered me "Oh, Jaymz! Didn't I just have a flight with you?" "About a week ago, yeah." "Wonderful!" See, man? I'm famous.

I had a lot of thinking to do on the long ride home and I was a little overwhelmed. I don't know yet how to break the news to my mom that I don't think I can handle a flight over 4 hours (she wants me to come to Florida, I just don't see how). But at least I got some warm nuts and ginger ale.

The vegan meal was pretty good too. White Bean Chili and Polenta. I erred on the side of caution again and skipped the cookie since everyone got one and I assume it's not vegan. So just be aware of that if you're vegan and you fly Alaska.

I got a nice view of the mountains to welcome me home. I wish I was better at taking pictures out of plane windows, haha.

As we de-boarded my new best friend flight attendant said "Goodbye, Jaymz will we be seeing again soon?" I laughed and she turned to the other attendant and said "She's the quietest passenger I've ever had." She has not heard my cackle...

Alzee picked me up at the airport, it's really nice to live only like ten minutes away from it, haha.

All in all it was a good trip, I'm glad I finally got to see Chicago so I can cross that off my bucket list, haha. Ashley and Shelly were proud of me for stepping outside my comfort zone and going on an adventure. I'm also really thankful that the Funny Bunny was willing to show me all around because I know I wouldn't have been able to figure out the trains on my own. I also came away with a few mementos...

From left to right, Gifts from the Funny Bunny: Sue the T-Rex from the Mold-O-Rama mold machine at the Field Museum and Klondike Kat & Ricochet Rabbit figures (thanks!). Pine cone from the Botanical Garden and flat penny (DNA strand design) from the Science Museum. Mug with "The Loop" train map design I got at a souvenir shop. Precious memories.

I hope you all enjoyed reading about my own personal Adventures in Babysitting, I will try to document more adventures in the future. I have been meaning to make it up to Seattle again sometime soon and visit Arizona and California again so I should really get to planning... If you're vegan and want to show me around your city (and not murder me!) feel free to hit me up sometime. As long as it's not more than 4 hours by plane, haha.

#chicago

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effulgentinara · 1 year

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Really happy with how last night's ceramics class went - I've got a couple of other pieces ready to be bisque fired as well (you can just see them in the background), but I'm particularly pleased with these three.

The mug was my first try attaching a handle to a piece - I feel pretty confident that it's on there securely, but I'm a little worried that the handle needed to dry a little more before attaching to keep it from slumping while it waits to be fired. But, regardless of final handle shape, I'm going to have a mug I made myself!

The pitcher started off as trying to make a tall mug, but I hit the top rim just as I was taking it off the wheel, so I leaned into it and made the wonky bit of the rim into a pour spout. I'm very proud of myself on this one for remembering to line the handle up with the spout, and I think I got the consistency of the clay a little better to keep the shape while it dries.

The last piece is going to be a new water dish for painting - I've made it bottom-heavy to be more stable than the jam jar I usually use, and I cut into the rim to create a built-in brush rest. I'm not sure which I'm more pleased with - that I got the placement and height of the cutouts aligned, or that I remembered to hold a sponge on the other side of the rim so that I didn't end up accidentally shoving the cutter into my hand.

Hoping they turn out well in the bisque firing (there's also a small dish I'm going to paint up as a 'new cat' present for my mom, but it's a fairly plain shape - I'm focusing more on the decoration for that one)

#ceramics #pottery #stoneware #working my way up to a teapot

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ignitesthestxrs · 10 months

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DFGHJHGFDFLKJHGHJ OMFG I'M.

i have had Realizations about myself almost two years ago now, and i've just listened to intro persona for the first time in a hot minute and. in retrospect it seems fairly obvious to me that the reason i got so obsessed with it at the time, very much unbeknownst to me, was i had pretty strong trans feelings about it. i feel like the biggest clown to have ever clowned.

(btw you don't know you were but! thank you for having being this long time lurker's sponsor in my big scary gender crisis!! mighty kind of you to have always spent so much time fairygodmothering queer babies that i reflexively just ran to your tumblr/twitter when i got my Oh Wait What Oh No???? moment.

and then i naturally landed on em's twitter. and because you guys were like high scholars of all things parasocial relationships, and also because i never understood twitter etiquette anyway, i didn't think i had any way that wasn't insane and inappropriate to burst down their door like

''HOWDY not only do you not know me but i don't know you either!! i am but a humble once removed follower through hannah and have been for a few years now. anyway i just wanted to extend my thanks for i just spent 6 hours scrolling through your uh everything, and believe i got my gender transed in the process. very exciting, much obliged. congratulations on your truly excellent gender, i hope you get everything you want from life.''

so i'm dumping this on you now instead apparently???? i really don't know how i got here, can't emphasize enough how much that was not my plan. i have been wanting to say you really helped me and i'm very grateful for a long time but, not like that probably?? except due to who i am as a person i'm not sure i'd have done it at all if i had tried to do it any other way. feels appropriate that it happened after i introduced myself as a clown, doesn't it.

anyway, past!you (and em!!) were the best and coolest fairy godparents in my phone a sort-of-kind-of-guy who was still too freaked out and panicky to try to talk about my crisis to any living person could have hoped for, and i was and still am very relieved that i had all your archived wisdom to turn to in my moment of need. thank you <333)

right! so my baby self had zero thoughts about the fact that a song about identity as a construct and a performance Did so many things to me! head fully empty!! isn't is wild the things you can learn later on in life with the power of insight. wow! partly embarrassing, mostly hilarious if you ask me.

sorry this was 3000x longer than it needed to be, thank you for your time, byeeeeee.

ANON my heart this was such a lovely message to receive thank you for reaching out and sharing ❤️ it is genuinely always so touching to encounter those moments when it turns out your shouting into the void was reaching other people bobbing around out there and helped throw them a lifeline

also like, congrats on transing your gender bud, i am proud and impressed and so glad you had that moment and were able to work through all the panicky and freak out to rest in a place that is good and right for you. that is the shit you deserve! you did a great job!

and i maintain that any life event you come out the other side going 'partly embarrassing, mostly hilarious' is a life event worth having. the ability of people to synthesise experiences that are like, reflective of deep stress or anxiety into something that is Very Funny afterwards is one of my favourite things about people, and also just one of my favourite things about living a life. sometimes the joy is in looking at yourself 5, 10 years ago and going 'aw, bless'.

anywayanyway i also maintain that persona is one of the best things that namjoon has done so like, congrats also on your baby queer taste anon, that song kicked ass ❤️❤️❤️ wishing you the absolute best buddy, thank u for writing

#hannah answers asks #cute 🥺

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sherl-grey · 1 year

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For the get to know your fic writer meme: 2, 11 (I don't know if it means of your works but that's what I wanna know), 16, 28, 40 & 65? Sorry I got a lil carried away

hello friend, thanks for the ask!! realized i reblogged this without access to a laptop and had to wait til i had mine again to answer 😂 but here we go! (Also don't apologize, these are fun! Mostly I'm sorry because I can't answer briefly like a normal person, and this response is probably going to take up a lot of space, lol.)

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I don't have too many multichapter fics, and I think they've all been done differently, haha. "love don't roam, but occasionally it wanders off" was mostly outlined in advance. "the rose-pond swap" was me messing around at the beginning, but then people read it (lol, how dare people read this) and I frantically tried to plan the rest of it (and we can all see how that went 😂). "the weight of words" has the barest skeleton of an outline just to keep track of the canon timeline, but otherwise is just being made up. "my mind turns your life into folklore" was written on a complete whim, no thoughts head empty just eightrose. (I think we can infer here that planning worked best, but alas, it also appears that I'm bad at that.)

11. Link your three favorite fics right now (I don't know if it means of your works but that's what I wanna know)

😅Desperately going to try to remember what the heck I've written...

gravity like a lunar landing - Twelve is a major challenge to me, and I'm really proud of this because I think I managed to properly explain the way I see him in this one

Barcelona: Where No Doctor Has Gone Before! - Is the plot good? no. However, there are five Doctors, and it was fun, and even if I wish I'd planned it better, I'm fairly pleased with the result.

a more literal method of compartmentalization - I suspect this will always be one of the ones I'm most proud of, in that I knew what story I wanted to tell and somehow I got there? Wrote this in a sleep-deprived haze so no clue how that happened, but I'm glad it did!

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Technically speaking, a lot. Things I'm actually thinking about writing? Maybe like... 5? 2 are Spotify asks from the frickin 2021 Wrapped game and YES I've started I swear 😂😅 I just got stuck. Various other people/conversations have had me revisiting like 4-5 things I'd jotted down in the past (Eight chameleon arch, a tenrose Bridgerton thing, a sequel to something, an out-of-order thing). Uhh, in non-DW news, I've got a Hellcheer thing I really want to write that's mostly about "right person, wrong timing" angst (with a happy ending because it's me, lol).

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Most days, I don't write. When inspiration strikes, anywhere from 500 - 2000 words, probably. On a few rare occasions, I've just cranked out the whole story in one sitting, but I don't generally have time for that nowadays.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

This is such an interesting question... I've never really even considered this. I think one of the scenes I most consciously decided to try to make pretty is the Woman Wept scene in LDRBOIWO (that is a bad acronym lol), so that could be nice? I'll have to think about this more!

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Honestly, at the moment the thing I'm most hopeful about writing is the Hellcheer thing mentioned in 16. DW-wise, though, I really want to go update all of my WIPs sometime soon, and I want to get at least one of the songfics done--I feel like I'll feel way less guilty about starting new projects if I wrap up some of the outstanding ones.

#ask game #asked and answered #thanks Ace!!#nerdie-faerie #this was fun. haven't done one of these in a long time!

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imthebadguyyy · 3 years

Text

Mon Amour

Summary - You've grown up with Charles, and as much as you hate to admit it, you love him. Pierre knows, and clearly sees how desperately Charles loves you too. It's true what they say, love will always find a way.

The Monaco Grand Prix was one of the most fun, exhilarating and exciting Grand Prix's of the entire F1 Season. You were excited enough, and since you already lived nearby, all you had to do was make your way to Charles's home, and then make your way to the track together. To say you were excited was an understatement, and you could barely contain the nerves and excitement you were feeling.

Charles was nervous. He didn't know why, Monaco was his circuit, and he always drove well on the track. He had been confident through free practice, and he was starting on pole, with an excellent quali result. But he was nervous, and something told him it had nothing to do with the race, and everything to do with Y/N.

Y/N. His best friend. His go-to. His shoulder to cry on. She had been there through it all, when his dad died, when Jules died. Whenever he needed someone to talk to or just needed a hug, he could always turn to her. He had met Y/N at a go kart race, sitting with her mother, and eating an ice lolly. Her hair had been in two little ponytails, and she was wearing a pretty polka doted red and blue dress. He was sitting with Pierre, and couldn't help staring at the girl, not even paying attention to what Pierre was saying, until he had snapped his fingers in front of Charles's face to tell him the race was about to begin.

The race had been wonderful, and he had won first place. His dad and Pierre's dad had both been so proud, and had bought both of them ice creams, and as they sat eating their cones, Y/N had made her way over to the pair. "You drove really well today, and my mommy told me I should come over to say congratulations" Too surprised to say anything, he let Pierre take over, and watched as he conversed with her. Then, she turned to him and said, "Whats your name? Mine's Y/N' and he had managed to stutter out, "C-Charles"

And thats how your friendship had begun. Since then, you had accompanied him to every race he had, had been there when he signed for Sauber (Alfa Romeo) and then when he signed for Ferrari. You had been so proud, you had cried when he told you, and hugged him tight and told him that you were incredibly proud of him, and that you were sure that his dad and Jules would have been incredibly proud of him too. And then he had cried too, and you two had cried together, and spent the rest of the night together, just hugging each other.

And here you were again, at his door, looking simply stunning in the outfit you had picked for the race track, looking like an angel sent from heaven. Well, you were his angel. The problem was, he couldn't tell you. You didn't love him, and the last thing he needed was to jeopardise your relationship by confessing his feelings. His stupid, stupid feelings.

"You look gorgeous" Charles said, leaning forward to give you a hug, and a soft kiss on your cheek. If he had been looking at you, he probably would have seen how you had gotten slightly flustered at his gesture. "Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself' you replied, reciprocating his gesture by kissing his cheek. Apparently, neither one of you were good at paying attention, because you didn't see the way he blushed either. "Ready for the race?" "Always" "Is Pierre going to be there?" "Yes he is, we'll probably meet him on the way to the paddock" As much as he hated to admit it, he always felt a pang of jealousy when you brought up his best friend, because he thought that you had feelings for the Frenchman,

"Okay then" "Are you ready to go?"

Nodding your head, you picked up your purse and checked your reflection in the mirror one more time, and brushed a stray strand of unruly hair behind your ears. Grabbing the keys to his Ferrari, he closed the door as the both of you left his house. The car ride to the paddock was fairly quiet, as you made occasional comment about random things, and bopped your heads to some music.

Arriving at the paddock, Charles noticed the paps that were waiting to descend upon you two like vultures. "merde" he mumbled under his breath, knowing you didn't really liken your picture being taken by random strangers. Sighing, you reached out to touch his shoulder. Its okay. I don't mind" 'I know, but it's unfair to you to have your privacy invaded" he replied, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Hey, it's okay. Let's just go". Opening the car door, you took a deep breath to calm the nerves beginning to appear in your tummy.

But you needn't have worried. As soon as you opened the car door, Charles was by your side, lacing his fingers through yours, the other arm wrapping around your waist, to fully protect you from the prying cameras. Trying not to focus on how right it felt, to have his arm around your body, and to feel his fingers threading through your own. Your heart was beating so fast, you wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it, considering how closely wrapped he was around your own body. As the Ferrari garage came into view, you began to calm down, and became aware of the fact that his arm was still wrapped around your waist, and his hand was still holding yours.

-------------------------------------------------------

Walking over from the Toro Rosso/Alpha Tauri garage, Pierre spotted Charles and Y/N making their way over to the Ferrari. Noticing the way Charles kept his arm tightly around Y/N, he couldn't help but grin, and assumed that Charles had finally told Y/N how he felt about her. Grinning even more broadly, he strutted over to the Ferrari garage, and walked over to where his best friend was standing with Mattia and his race engineer. "Hello, mon ami. I see you've finally done it?" somewhat confused, Charles turned to face the frenchmen, and asked, "Done what?" 'Told Y/N you love her" Pierre replied, watching his friends face glow the same red as the colour of his car and race suit. "What?! I have done no such thing. What would make you think that?"

"Let me think, because you've been in love with her since we were children. Come on Charles, don't chicken out now. You should definitely tell her. She is an extremely attractive woman, and I won't be surprised if someone else also likes her or asks her out. You two are made for each other. Now stop delaying !" Sighing, Charles just shook his head, and went into his drivers room, turning halfway to wave at his friend. Somewhat frustrated, he walked into the room, kicking the door in the process. "fanculo, idiota!" he mumbled, hands reaching up to his head to pull on his and let out a growl.

"Charles? You okay ?" Y/N asked, peeking her head into his room, slight concern in her E/C eyes. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just nervous" 'Nervous?' she asked walking in, and sitting down next to him. "Yeah, it's a big race, and points are very important if we want to beat Mercedes and actually win this year. Besides the last race wasn't that good, and Mattia was a little upset about it. I'm just a little nervous" Reaching out to take his hand into hers, Y/N ran a soft hand through his hair, and his eyes fluttered shut for a second. "Charles, listen to me. You are an incredibly talented person. When you get in the car, you push it to the limits and you give it everything. It's okay to be nervous, but you're on pole. I know you will give it your all, and every single person in this garage believes in you. And I believe in you the most. So go out there , and give it your everything. I know you can do it" As you had been speaking, Charles had been running his thumb over your knuckles, on the hand that was holding his, and when you finished, he raised it to his lips, and pressed his soft, pink lips to your knuckles.

"Thank you, tesoro" You froze. He had never called you 'sweetheart' before. You could feel your heart rate rising ever so slightly, and your breathing become slightly shallow, as his brown hazel eyes looked up into your own, and seemingly held your gaze. The tension in the room seemed to thicken, reaching upto a point where it was nearly suffocating. Heads leaning closer to each other, his hand tightening the grip he had on yours, sliding softly up your arm, as your eyes fluttered shut, the anticipation sending your heart rate up to crazy numbers. His face was so close to yours, you could feel his breath on your lips, almost hear his heartbeat, and hoping to God he couldn't hear how embarrassingly loud yours was. Just as your lips nearly touched, there was a knock on the door, and his race engineer, poked his head in, looking somewhat awkward. "Its time to go Charles, time to get in the car"

Sighing softly, he pulled away, as your eyes fluttered behind your eyelids. "Go and win this. I'll be cheering you on" you said, not quite meeting his eyes, but giving him a soft, half hearted smile. "Thanks" he said, giving your hand a squeeze, as he walked out to the garage to get in his car. Burying your head in your hands, you felt like you could scream, sob and punch something at the same time. Letting out a shaky breath, you ran a hand over your face and stood up, making your way up to where you were watching the race from.

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The race was over, and Charles had won 1st place, with Lewis in second and Valterri in third. As he had stood on the podium, he had found your face in the crowd, smiling and cheering for him, as you let out a whoop that he couldn't hear, but you didn't care. The adrenaline from the win was pumping through his veins, as he climbed down from the podium, eyes searching for you, as his teammates and crew congratulated him on his win, but he was really only half listening.

Then he saw you, standing in front of the garage, hair flying around in the wind that had picked up in the last lap of the race. Smiling as you looked up to see him, you began to run towards him, as he ran to meet you halfway. You jumped into his arms, as his wrapped around your thighs and your waist to keep you stable, as you wrapped yours around his muscled neck, leaning your forehead down to rest against his, as you muttered a soft "congratulations' in his ear, and pressed your lips to his temple, as his eyes closed, fully revelling in your embrace and body heat, not caring about how the paps had probably got a pretty good shot of you two, or how the tabloids were probably wetting themselves with article possibilities. 'thank you mon ange, thank you for supporting me" "anytime"

As you planted your feet back on the ground, and loosened your grip around him slowly, he moved his arm so one was wrapped around your waist, and the other rested loosely on his hip. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Pierre approaching, and smiled at his best friend. "Congratulation mon ami. That was a superb race. Y/N long time no see, seems like you have forgotten me"

Giggling, you stepped away from Charles to give him a hug. "Of course not, how could I forget my best friend! I was going to saw hello before the race but I didn't get the chance. Good race!" "Thank you, It's so good to see you again here. Looks like Charles has been taking up all your time" He said, smirking at the Monégasque driver, who blushed, before looking away. Laughing, you shook your head, moving your body closer to Charles's again. "Oh Y/N you should come to the party tonight. It's on a yacht, and we can have some good fun a well. What do you say ?' "Oh I'm in!"

"You can come as one of our plus ones" Pierre said, eyes shifting over to Charles's face which was the same colour as his bright red Ferrari suit. Charles wanted to punch and hug Pierre at the same time, clearly seeing what he was trying to do. "Yeah, okay I'll be there" "Great! See you then, bye for now. Go celebrate with your man"

"your man"

Why did that sound so right? Why did it make your heart burst with happiness? Why did you want him to be your man? And why did it seem like the one thing you wanted the most was the one thing you couldn't have.

-------------------------------------------------------

Looking at the mirror one last time, you smoothed out the silky material of the red satin dress you had decided to wear to the party. Paired with a black choker necklace, and a pair of sleek black heels to finish the outfit. You had gone bold with the makeup, winged liner and smoky eyeshadow. Finally, you had swiped a tube of ruby red lipstick across your lips, and sprayed some more -expensive -than -you -could -even -begin- to -fathom Gucci perfume that Charles had bought you for your birthday on your wrists, neck, ears, and body.

You didn't know what you were doing. But it felt good to be confident. It felt good to pretend as though you were completely in control, when all you wanted was to curl up in a little ball, and cry. You didn't know what you were doing, but it felt good to pretend as though you didn't care for Charles, when all you wanted to do was grab his stupidly handsome face and kiss his wonderfully soft, pink lips.

Shaking off your anxiety, you reached for the phone to call Pierre, who was supposed to pick you up and drive you to the party. Charles had wanted too, but he had to go and meet some friends who wanted to congratulate on his victory. Taking a deep breath, you picked up your black clutch, which had your phone, lipstick, tissues and your keys, just in time to hear a knock on the door. Walking over to the door of your Monaco apartment, you opened it to find Pierre, in a lovely light blue suit, hair slicked slightly with gel, and a Rolex on his wrist. As he looked at you, his eyes widened, and he looked at you in shock for a few seconds, before saying "You look absolutely stunning, princess. Absolutely gorgeous" "Thank you Pierre ! You're looking pretty dapper yourself, I must say" you replied, flashing him a smile. "Thank you Y/N/N. Someone won't be able to keep his eyes off of you" he said, smirking as he saw your eyes widen softly, as you grew visibly flustered. "Who?" You asked, suddenly interested in looking at the clutch in your hand. "Oh come on, Leonardo DiCaprio. Who do you think ?!'

"I don't know, Pierre. Why don't you tell me?"

"Ces deux idiots, Charles, you sweet dumbass!"

"Yeah right. Let's just go please, we are already late, and I don't want to be out for too long"

"Fine"

-------------------------------------------------------The party was extravagant. There were these model chicks everywhere, with the most minimal of clothing, drooling over whichever driver they could find. Charles had had this one blonde girl hit on him for nearly an hour, and he was nearing the end of his patience. He didn't want any random girl for a one night stand. He wanted Y/N. And she wasn't at the party yet. But God, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop thinking about the moment they had shared. They had almost kissed. His heart did little jumps whenever he thought about it, and GOD, he was not doing a good job at hiding it. Everyone in the room had noticed the lovestruck look on his face. From across the room, George and Alex made their way over the Monégasque driver, who looked lost, and slightly irritated.

"Hey man, good job today! That was an excellent race" "Thanks, you guys did brilliantly as well"

"So who's got you looking like a little lost puppy?" George asked, grinning at the man, who looked slightly flustered at his comment. "What? No one, just post race excitement I suppose?"

"I'm not taking your word for it. Who's the girl? Come on"

Just as Charles opened his mouth to speak, there was a slight distraction, as he turned towards the door on the left, where people kept coming and going, and his jaw dropped. It was Y/N. But she looked like an angel that had fallen from the heavens, and sent to bless his heart. As he watched her make her way across the room, with Pierre right behind her, he felt his mouth and throat become dry, and his heart felt like it was going to fail at any moment. His palms were becoming sweaty and he felt like a nervous wreck, ready to collapse at any moment.

"Wow, mate. Is that Y/N ? She looks stunning!" Alex said, smiling as he watched her make her way towards their little group. "Yeah it is mate. She looks absolutely gorgeous!" George said, waving to the woman as she neared them. Charles couldn't speak.He just stared. "When you've put your eyes back in your head, and closed your mouth, you could maybe compliment her, and finally ask her out." Alex said, noticing how his friend had become silent and kept opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish.

Laughing, George clapped Charles on the back, "Ah, so she's the one that's got you all lovey dovey. Good going mate, she's a beauty" As he finished speaking, Y/N had approached the group, and was saying hello to Alex. Leaning forward, George gave her a hug as well, having become acquainted with her through Pierre. "Y/N you look beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous" he said, smiling at her, "Thank you so much! You guys all look lovely too!"

'You're too kind Y/N, George looks like he hasn't even brushed his hair back properly" Alex joked, receiving a slight shove from the Brit. "And, Charles, what do you think? How do I look this fine evening?" you asked, turning to face him. His face was slightly flushed and he mumbled something that sounded like "mimblewimble" and then cleared his throat. "You look prettier than anyone here tonight. You look like an angel"

Completely awestruck at his words, all you could do was gape, and then mutter a soft thank you, and pray to God he couldn't feel the nerves radiating off of you. "Well, despite the lovely company, and palpable sexual tension, I'm going to go find Max and Daniel, and go get a drink" Alex said, giving Y/N a hug and leaving with George. Leaving you alone with a very flustered Charles. "Do you want to get out of here?' he asked suddenly, looking at you with his warm hazel brown eyes. "I just got here, but yes please. I already feel so out of place among these models and superstars" you said, giggling softly. "Well, they've got nothing on you. Trust me, you're fifteen times prettier than anyone else here"

"Thank you Charles" you said, smiling softly, and touching his arm. "Anytime,tesoro" there it was again, that nickname that had your heart jumping. The last time he had called you that you guys had almost kissed. The memory returned, filling your tummy with butterflies, and all you wanted to do was to grab his stupidly handsome face and kiss him. The two of you made your way down to the docks, where you had a special spot that was like a hidden cave, covered with some wildflowers and ivy, that you two had discovered when you guys were fifteen, and you had had a bad day at school. Charles had hugged you, and told you, "no matter how bad a day at school is, I will always be there to hug you and make you feel better, always" That was when you had fallen in love with him.

As you made your way to the cave, you shivered, the sea air that was blowing around was surprisingly chilly, and you had forgotten to bring a jacket. Being the gentleman that he was, Charles took of his dark blue suit jacket, and draped it around your soldiers. 'Can't have you freezing to death" "I won't" you replied, regretting your decision to wear heels. As the two of you reached the cave, you sat down on the floor, and pulled off your heels, and stretched your legs out, letting out a sigh as you did so. Smiling at your actions, Charles sat down next to you, his thigh brushing against yours, arm wrapping around your waist, as your head dropped onto his shoulder.Beneath you two, the water lapped gently against the rocks, and the soft sound was calming and soothing.

For a while, you stayed that way, you tracing random patterns onto his left hand, while his right arm that was wrapped around your waist traced circles on your waist. His head was resting on top of yours now, and in the chilly air, the warmth radiating off of his body was comforting. "Y/N, do you like Pierre?" he blurted out suddenly, making you look up at him in shock. "What makes you think that?' you asked, leaning slightly away from his body to look at his face properly. "Well, I just assumed, I guess, you do seem very very comfortable and happy around him" "Oh my god, you idiot" you said, giggling softly at the slight look of jealousy on his face. "Pierre was right"

"What was he right about ?"

"Nothing"

"Look I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from its just that I love you and -"

You cut him off, pressing your lips to his, as his arms wrapped around your torso, after initial surprise. Yours made his way to his shoulders, one on his shoulder, and the other to the back of his head, while his grip around your body tightened. You two fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, bodies moulding into each other, lips fitting like two puzzle pieces together. This was what you had been missing from your life. This passionate, romantic, breath taking love, one that made your heart go 200 miles an hour and then stop.

Charles couldn't believe what was happening. He was kissing Y/N, and it felt so right. She was intoxicating, the scent of her perfume was clouding his senses in the best way possible, filling him with a new need, a hunger that had been growing for so long was finally being satiated, and it was electrifying. He slid his hands up her back, to tangle his fingers in her hair, pulling ever so slightly, and revelling in the sound that left her lips.

Finally breaking away, panting and out of breath, he rested his forehead on hers. "je t'aime mon amour" he mumbled, eyelids fluttering shut. "I love you too. So much" Completely blissed out, the two remained in their embrace, neither of them wanting to break apart, from what felt like a dream. "Did you just kiss me, or am I dreaming" He asked, looking down at Y/N who had her head on his shoulder again.

"Why don't you kiss me again and find out ?"

"Of course, mon amour"

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#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #f1 imagines #f1 x reader #f1 #pierre gasly #imthebadguyyfics #imthebadguyyyfics

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devoidwrites · 3 years

Text

IF I COULD FLY • Park Jimin

Summary: Your boyfriend leaves to go on tour, and you being without him made you realize just how much you care about him.

Words: 1.4K

Pairing: Park Jimin x gf! Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

“For your eyes only, I’ll show you my heart.”

Distant screams filled the airport, the fans cheering for their idols. You followed your boyfriend through the back way, gripping his hand tightly as you neared the plane entrance.

You could feel it seeping in. The dread of letting him go off, away from you for months to go on the world tour with his friends. You were proud of him- beyond proud. However, you were hoping there wouldn't be too many hard days.

The two of you hadn't been dating long, and neither of you were ready to let the world know yet. You weren't sure how the fans would react, especially since he's a part of the biggest boy group in the world. You didn't mind waiting. It gave the two of you the privacy you needed.

He stopped, and you almost ran into him, but you caught yourself in time. He turned to you, a pout adorning his lips. You didn't like the sight. He looked a lot better with a smile rather than a frown.

"You'll be back soon." You reassured him, and also yourself. "It'll be like you never even left."

"You could come with me." He suggested, even though you both knew it wouldn't work out. You had work. Plus the fans would freak out if you made your debut as a couple on his world tour.

"You know I can't."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. He reached over with his other hand to grab your other one, holding both of your hands with his. "Don't miss me too much."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes playfully. "Please. I'll have Bam to keep me company."

While they were away, you promised to dog sit for Jungkook. You adored his puppy, and you didn't hesitate to offer your help when he mentioned he was looking for someone to keep up with him while he was gone.

"Don't replace me with a dog Y/N."

"Then come back quickly." You smiled up at him, swinging your hands slightly in his.

He chuckled at your before leaning forward, placing a sweet kiss to your lips. You smiled as you pulled away. You pulled your hands from his to reach up and wrap your arms around his neck.

"Be careful, and have a lot a fun, okay?"

Two months into being without Jimin, and you found it fairly easy to keep yourself busy. You were able to keep your mind off just how much you missed Jimin, but at night you found yourself wishing he was beside you.

Today had been a particularly rough day. Your boss yelled at you for making a mistake on your report, and you've been working so hard you hadn't had time to eat properly. On days like this Jimin would always send you something to eat so you'd be able to function properly.

It happened to everyone. You had bad days every now and then where you'd just want to lay around and do nothing all day. You had to push yourself to get out of bed, but you'd be slow all day. It was if you were living life in slow motion on your bad days. It never seemed to end.

You found yourself sitting on the couch in your apartment. The tv was on, but you weren't really paying attention. You eyed your phone, waiting for the call from Jimin. He always called you around this time, right when he was waking up for the day.

The screen lit up, and your ringtone echoed through the small apartment. You shook your head to bring you out of your trance and pressed answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are you okay? Usually you text me during your day, and I haven't gotten anything."

You let out a sigh, guilt filling your veins. You normally would send him texts during the day so he would know what you were up to. He did the same while you slept. You didn't have much time on the phone before he had to work, so it was your ways to keep up with one another while apart.

"I'm sorry. It's just been one of those days."

"Oh." He muttered. He was always so understanding about your off days. It was amazing to you that you were able to find someone so understanding.

Your phone beeped, and you saw it was him requesting face time. You answered, the sight of your fluffy headed boyfriend coming onto the screen. You smiled softly at the sight of him.

"Min, I look like crap."

He shook his head. "You look beautiful."

"I miss you." You told him. You promised yourself you weren't going to do this. You didn't want to constantly tell him how much you missed him every day. You didn't want to make him feel bad for having to leave you behind, but you couldn't help it. You missed him.

"I miss you too." He fixed his phone, giving you a better view of him. He was sitting on his bed. He probably just woke up. "Do you need me to come home?"

"No way." You furrowed your eyebrows at the question. "Why would I take you away from your fans like that? You've all been waiting to perform again for two years. I would never ask you to drop that for me."

"I know that." He rolled his eyes at you. "If I could, I'd be there in the blink of an eye."

"If only you could fly." You joked. He chuckled at you, smiling at the sight of your own smile. Talking to him like this really was the highlight of your day since he left. Even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

His eyes moved behind the phone, and he nodded at their manager. "I'll be there in a minute."

He turned back to you, his smile disappearing for a single moment. You knew what he was dreading to say. You couldn't be upset with him, and you hoped he knew you never would be over something like this. He was living his dream. You could never be upset over him doing what he loved.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked, avoiding the fact he had to hang up. "It's not something I'd like to tell you over the phone, but at a time like this I think we both need it."

You eyes him, curious as to what he had to say. "yeah?"

"Y/N, I love you."

Your breath got caught in your throat at his words. Neither of you had said that before, making this the first. Of course you knew you loved the man. You just didn't want to say it so early and freak him out.

"I know it's a difficult time, with me being away and all. I really am thankful that you're so understanding about this and that you're staying by my side, even thought I-."

"I love you too." You said quickly, stopping him from rambling on anymore. It was his turn to be shocked for a second, but when your eyes met through the screen you both smiled at one another. "I'll always be here to cheer you on, even from halfway across the world."

The sound of the door opening again made him look away. He nodded before turning back to you once more. "I’m m sorry, but I've got to get ready for an interview."

"Go knock their socks off." You gave him one last smile. "I love you Jimin."

The grin on his lips was infectious. "I love you too."

You hung up the phone, but the smile never left your lips. In just a few short minutes, your day was better thanks for him. Feeling giddy all of a sudden, you cut your tv off and turned the radio on. You decided to take a shower first to refreshen yourself before you got ready for bed.

Once you were out of the shower and in your pajamas you headed to the kitchen, searching for something quick to make yourself. Before you could even decide on what to make your doorbell rang.

"Delivery." The person shouted. You waltzed over to the door, opening it to reveal a delivery man. He held out a bag, urging you to take it. "I've got a delivery for L/N F/N."

You offered him a thankful smile. "Thank you."

You took the bag from him and retreated back inside. Your phone buzzed, and you picked it up from the counter you placed it on when you went to get your shower. It was a text from Jimin.

Eat well. I love you.

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bgyuus · 3 years

Text

chifuyu matsuno x reader

; where takemitchy takes his friend out for his birthday and his present? you.

cw: light spoilers, fingering, riding, mentions of choking, no condom, overstimulation, he calls you princess/slut, unedited writing.

note: i'm finally reading the tokyo revengers manga and ngl, it was a total rollercoaster while reading it. also, chifuyu’s in his present time (the pic below 😫 *simp screams*)

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIFUYU!”

Takemitchy exclaimed, engulfing his old friend in a tight hug.

The ebony black haired male smiled, thanking him as he hugged back. It’s been a while since he last hang with him. Having their schedule busy with meetings and such, they couldn’t find the right time to catch up on things. Sure, they see each other everyday but spending the rest of the day with an old friend without worrying about work just hits different. At least that’s what Chifuyu thought.

“Shall we go have dinner then go see your present?” the blonde asked with a smile. Chifuyu nodded in response, shutting the car door behind him as Takemitchy speeds off into the horizon.

“Thanks for the dinner, man,” the birthday boy said, smiling at his friend in the drivers seat. “No problem! And now! It’s time for your present!” Takemitchy exclaimed. His voice filled with anticipation. He looks more excited than Chifuyu himself.

“Alrighty, we’re here!” he said, parking the car in front of a fancy looking complex. “Are we in Shibuya?” the black haired male asked, facing the building in awe. Takemitchy only nodded as he skipped into the building, making Chifuyu ran up to catch him.

The elevator stopped at level 4. As the two adults stepped out from the lift, Chifuyu’s jaw nearly dropped at what he saw. Right outside the elevator was a counter, handled by a middle-aged man, who was occupied with a women- who was dressed in a very thin silk dress. The male's eyes wondered around the boards beside the counter. They were filled with pictures of- lewd photos. Chifuyu cocked an eyebrow at this. What even-

"Looks like this place hasn't change one bit," Takemitchy said with hands on his hips, a proud and nostalgic look displayed in his eyes. “Oh, Takemitchy, right? Here for your reservation?” the man behind the counter asked. Blondie nodded furiously. Why is he so excited? Chifuyu raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Actually, I’m just here because I made the reservation, the one who’ll be doing the job is Chifuyu,” Takemitchy said proudly, pushing his friend towards the counter.

Chifuyu swallowed hard. Is this place what he thinks it is? "Alright, sign here and please proceed to the waiting room," the man said, handing a form to Takemitchy. Chifuyu tugged his shirt and pulled his friend aside. "Oi, what're- what am I suppose to do?" he asked, sounding nervous. "You're a 26 year old virgin, I'm helping you out!" Takemitchy explained while signing the form and handing it back to man behind the counter. Chifuyu mentally face palmed himself. This was definitely not how he imagined getting his virginity loss. Especially not with some random girl at a brothel.

"Wait! This is not how I-,"

"You may now go to the waiting hall, gentlemen," the man said, pointing to a room not far from the lift. Takemitchy thanked him and head towards the room without wasting any minute. Chifuyu walked after him, deadpanned at his friend's excited behaviour. "Look, I appreciate the effort but-" "Chifuyu, meet my friend, y/n!" the blonde said, holding hands with a girl in front of him.

The black haired man stared down at the girl. She was gorgeous. Is he lying? Of course not. His eyes trailed down to your body, scanning every inch of your curves. You laughed as he snapped back into reality. "Can't wait to do the dirty, are we?" You teased, pulling him towards you by his tie. Chifuyu's cheeks heated up as you brought your face close to his. “Aww, Takemitchy, you didn’t tell me he was a shy one,” you exclaimed, turning your head to face your blonde friend. “Eh? Chifuyu? Shy? Please, he’s one of Toman’s Top Admin, why would he be shy now?” Takemitchy laughed, making the said boy’s cheeks even hotter. You faced the man in front of you again. Now it was your turn to blush. The faint smell of his cologne filled your nostrils. His skin was fairly smooth. His eyes, oh how you got lost staring into his light blue orbs. Those orbs were just so mesmerizing that you didn’t notice that he was also actually staring into yours. Takemitchy gave off a small chuckle, making both of you snap back into reality.

“Sorry about that,” you said slowly, eyes glued to the floor, not wanting to let this Chifuyu guy to see your red tinted cheeks. Funny how this was actually your first time experiencing a quickened heartbeat for a customer. You slowly jerked your head up to look at the male. Chifuyu took a quick glance at you, making your eyes meet again once more. He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure of what to say. “Ay yow! I’m not here to just sit and see y’all being all gushy and wasting my money,” Takemitchy complained in a jokingly way. You shot your head up as if you had escaped from a trance. “Alright, Chifuyu! Let’s get going, shall we?” your playful smirk crawling back to your lips, grabbing both of his hands and lead him to another room, leaving Takemitchy alone with his earbuds plugged in.

Chifuyu scrubbed his body under the hot steaming water. One second she was like a teenage girl staring at her very new boyfriend then suddenly she became a playful flirt again, he sighed in thought. He was sure that he could here her heart beating rapidly as if it was about to burst out from her chest.

And yet, here he was, taking a shower before losing his 25 years of being a virgin to a girl he doesn’t even know, let alone have met before. Sounds kinda messed up to be honest, he chuckled at his joke. After slipping on his undergarments and a robe, he exited the bathroom while wiping his damped hair. “Look, I know you’re only doing your job but-” he got cut off, eyes widened at your figure who was slowly taking off your dress, revealing a see through lingerie. Being the kind (and nervous as fuck) gentleman, he immediately looked away, blood rushing to his cheeks and a slight pain growing in his boxers.

You walked up to him and slowly pushed him onto the bed with a light touch of your finger. Chifuyu’s breath hitched as you placed your legs at his sides. You dragged a finger along his jaw to his chin, tilting it upwards, making his eyes stare into yours. The both of you stayed there in silence, listening to each others quicken heartbeats. Your cheeks were tinted red, it was noticeable to Chifuyu. His eyes flickered to your lips then to your eyes. You gulped nervously. On the inside, you were practically cursing to yourself, telling you to get a grip and just treat him like your usual customers. You closed your eyes, wishing that this was just a dream or hoping that the man in front of you isn’t that Chifuyu guy but another customer.

Your eyes fluttered open, only to find that he was leaning into your touch. Fuck it, you thought as you slammed your lips into his. Surprisingly, he too, kissed you back. You slowly wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to your body. Chifuyu placed his hands on your waist and soon, his hands grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around his waist. The kiss then became sloppy as he bit the bottom of your lip gently, gaining access to explore your mouth.

You finally let go in desperate need of air. Chest huffing up and down whilst your sweaty forehead leaned against his. Your cheeks were definitely red now and same as his. "It's okay if you don't want to do it," you said nervously, looking down at- shit. Your eyes widened at the tent in his undergarment. All that kissing made him hard? Your cheeks flushed even more now. Chifuyu noticed this and looked down. Shit, shit, shit, shit, he cursed to himself. "Uhm," he laughed in a nervous and unsure tone. For the first time in your life, you're being this flustered and nervous. There was definitely something wrong with this guy, you concluded as you looked at Chifuyu who was fumbling with the ropes of his robe.

"Uh, I'll take care of this myself," he said, pushing you off his lap. You quickly grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. "I know you don't want your first time to be with a, um, a p-prostitute like me, but let me help you with that, plus you don't wanna let Takemitchy's money go to waste, don't you?" you explained. You avoid looking at him, cheeks still tinted red with embarrassment. With a light tug from your hand, Chifuyu went back to the bed.

"F-fuck, that's it," the male sighed, hands gripped onto your sides as you rode him. Screams can be heard from you as you slammed yourself onto his cock. It was tiring, really. Getting your pelvis to hit his everytime was a pain. "Fuyu, I can't," you gasped as his tip hit your cervix. "Now now, princess, you were the one who was all over me in the first place," he said, pulling you by the neck, slightly choking you whislt making your foreheads touch. You flinched at his sudden demeanor. Where did the shy and nervous Chifuyu go?

You can't do it anymore. You toppled on top of him, gasping for air. Chifuyu found this amusing. "Is my wittle princess tired?" he asked in a playful tone while stroking your hair lovingly. You nodded in response, too exhausted from riding and cumming for the third time. You feel like you were about to pass out when he suddenly flipped you over. "Ass up, face down for me, princess," he whispered. You wouldn't be lying if you say his tone of voice turned you on.

You obeyed his words. Chifuyu groped at your ass, feeling the soft flesh against his warm skin. You squirmed under his touch, wanting him to desperately put his dick back inside of you. "Chifuyu, please, ah!" You yelped at the sudden contact. He inserted a finger into your wet entrance, pumping them slowly. Enjoying the pleasure his finger's giving, you didn't realize that your hips started to rock against his hand, following the pace of his digit.

"Stay still, you slut," he snapped as he slapped your ass making you moaned in both pain and pleasure. Chifuyu's free hand grabbed your hip to lock you in place. He stopped penetrating your cunt with his finger and pumped his cock, which was already leaking with precum. You winced at the pain as he inserted his cock inside you. The blacked haired male didn't move, he let you readjust to his size and once he got the signal, he slammed his his against your ass, making you screamed.

Tears slowly streaming down your eyes as your knuckles turned white from gripping the sheets too hard. Takemitchy said this will be his first time but the way he thrusts-

"Why are are you crying? Don't you like this?" He sounded sadistic and that nearly made you cum on the spot. "Chifuyu, I'm about to cu-," he grabbed a fistful of your hair, making your back hit his chest. "Hold it, hold it in for me, princess," he whispered into your ear. His voice, oh my god, his voice literally nearly made you burst. But you did hold it in for him. At this point, you’d do anything for him.

His thrusts never slowed down. His hand gripping at your waist guided your body, matching his thrusting rhythm. "Chifuyu, please, I can't hold it anymore," you panted. He grabbed your face and kissed you roughly. Tongue swirling, fighting for dominance. His lips trailed down to your jaw then to your neck, sucking and biting, leaving dark purple blue marks. His thrusts began to slow down, signaling that he was close too. “Shit, come for me, princess,” he whispered into you ear and this time you finally came whilst feeling his cum dripping down your thighs.

Chifuyu sat up from the bed. He smiled softly at the girl sleeping peacefully beside him. He checked his phone and saw a message from Takemitchy.

Seems like you’re enjoying yourself, Chifuyu! I’ll be going home now. Hope you like the present!

- Takemitchy

The ebony black haired male smiled at his friend’s message. He turned to face the girl again. She stirred in her sleep, her feet lightly kicking his waist. He chuckled at her sleepy behavior. Their first encounter was weird enough for him. It was as if they were teens again. Staring and getting lost in each others eyes. He smiled at remembering the incident where she stared at him as if he was the first man she had ever seen in her entire life.

“Hey, you’re up early,” the girl said, rubbing her eyes. She crawled towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning against his bare back. “Are you really this clingy after doing your job?” Chifuyu laughed at her pouting face. Heat rises to her cheeks once more as she let go of him. “No, it’s just that, you’re warm that’s all,” she crossed her arms in denial. She looked at the man beside her. He was laughing with his toothy grin shining against the rising sun. The girl’s face blushed at how gorgeous he looks. Chifuyu noticed her tinted cheeks. He kissed her a good morning kiss, taking her by surprise.

“This sounds weird and sudden but wanna be more than just my present?”

note: okay! so that was longer than i expected but this does show how much of a simp i am for this guy lol. anyways, hope you enjoyed the story! <3

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #chifuyu tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers chifuyu #chifuyu matsuno #chifuyu imagines #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu fluff #chifuyu smut #tw: smut #tw: overstimulation

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Note

#9 “Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me.” with Obi-Wan & Jango & Satine? (... or Obi-Wan/Jango/Satine, I'm not picky)

Hurt/Comfort Dialogue Prompts

Oh, I'm going to make this deeply stupid and AU because I got struck by a plot bunny and I'm taking it out on a prompt.

Satine hates the man named Jango Fett.

They've met before, once or twice. He'd known her father, before the latter's assassination. She'd met Jango when she was a child, before he'd lost his people at Galidraan, before she'd lost her sister to a terrorist group and her father to a blaster shot. She'd thought him gruff but kind, at the time, and very sad.

Now, she just wants him to trip on a pipe and brain himself on one of the many rusted, broken beams around them. She won't strangle him herself, won't turn her back on her oaths and commit violence, but she's not too proud to hope for an accident.

"Pick up the pace, princess."

"I am a Duchess," she snaps, lifting her skirts to step delicately over something that might have been machinery at one point.

The only light they have is from his helmet, and the only reason she hasn't fallen from the fabric catching on some matter or other is that he has a sense for when she gets caught.

He'd suggested that she pull the skirts up to gird her loins, and then found that the numerous layers made it impossible. He'd offered to cut the skirt down to something more manageable, without depriving her of the coverage she still needed in the cold of these darks, dank ruins. He'd then found that the vibroblade did nothing against the skirts.

(She was a pacifist, not stupid. Of course her clothing was reinforced.)

"I don't care," he says back through grit teeth. She's not sure why he hasn't just left her for dead, but she's not going to complain. Much. "Just move."

They've been making their way through the ruins for hours. They still don't know how they got here. They have no way to find out.

They just head up, and hope it gets them somewhere.

(Signs litter the walls, all in a script unfamiliar to them. Archaic, or simply foreign, they don't know.)

"Wait."

She freezes.

Fett moves behind her, light shifting with the noise of his beskar, and then he says, "I'm going to turn out the light for a second. Give us a minute to adjust to the dark after I do. I think I saw something glowing, but I can't tell with the flash on."

She nods, sure that he can see it, and they are engulfed in the dark again.

It's not for long, because the glow that Fett described is real. Faint, far off down the hallway and a pale blue that winks in and out in multiple spots at once, but there.

"We'll need the light to make it there without you getting rust sickness," Fett mutters. He flicks the headlight back on. "Might get some kinda hint out of it, whatever it is."

"You'd risk it?"

"Don't have any other choice," Fett tells her. "Move out, Princess."

----

They reach the blue glow, entering a large, cavernous atrium, just as dark as the rest of the ruins so far, but much less cramped than the previous hallways.

It is mostly floating motes of something, and the something in question makes Satine's skin crawl. She has no idea what it is. She doesn't think Fett does either, but he's a little busy trying to get a scan of the room around them. Satine can just barely see the floor from the blue light, and she steps closer carefully. Part of her screams about deep sea fish and wild space ancients, creatures that use light to hunt, but they've had nothing else yet. No hints.

This place feels ancient. Perhaps the spirits that linger are even older.

"Kryze!"

"I'm fine," she calls back, deliberately refusing to understand the man's worry. She just... reaches out.

And one of the blue lights comes to her.

Fett swears and comes closer, but Satine pulls her hands to her chest, cradling the little light to herself. It's larger than she'd expected, perhaps the size of a Chandrila plum. It's warm, too.

"You're going to get yourself killed," Fett snaps.

"It's friendly," she says. "I think."

"You think," Fett hisses, the noise crackling through the vocoder. He puts a hand on her shoulder. "Listen--"

The lights coalesce. They are, for the moment, blinding, and Satine flinches away.

Fett has a blaster out before Satine can even open her eyes again. She knows the noise better than she'd like. She can identify which blaster it is by the click of the safety alone.

Any Mandalorian her age can.

"Oh dear," an unfamiliar voice says. "I'm afraid that--well, yes, Mando, hello there. I'm afraid that the blaster won't do much to me. I'm already long dead, you understand."

When Satine manages to blink the spots out of her vision, it's to see a glowing, slightly blue-tinged human figure in clothing that is distinctly Jedi, if very... very outdated.

The man--she thinks it's a man, beards usually indicate such--smiles and waves at her. "I apologize for the light show. It's been quite some time since I've had reason to take a solid form."

"I can imagine," Satine says, her voice weak even to her own ears. The man isn't much older than her, or at least wasn't when he... died? Or perhaps he was elderly when he died, and just rolled his age back as this spirit for some reason.

He smiles kindly, and then looks past her shoulder to Fett. He rolls his eyes, and smirks, and says, "Su cuy'gar, Mand'alor."

"I am not Mand'alor," Fett growls out. "I don't hold that title anymore."

"You do in spirit," the figure claims. "None other can say the same, not yet."

Before Fett can argue further, the man smiles pleasantly, and says, "I don't suppose you could remove yourselves from my shrine? Just a few steps back, thank you."

Satine looks down. She notices the raised platform and carved sigils and the stone column she hadn't seen in the earlier darkness, and flushes. She steps back and down, and Fett does the same.

"Now," the figure says. "As I was saying--"

"What are you?" Fett demands. "Ghost of a Jedi?"

"Something like that," the figure allows. "I was not just a Jedi, but... yes, I'm something you could call a ghost. I'd prefer simply a spirit."

"Like the ka'ra," Satine mutters, and grunts in disagreement.

"Those, Duchess, are only Mandalorians."

"Then I suppose it is fitting that I am both," the spirit says, and his form shifts.

Armor. It does not cover all of him--his pelvis and head are distinctly bare--but the shapes are distinctly Mandalorian. The colors aren't quite exact, with the blue glow he carries about him, but she's fairly certain she's seeing blue, green, and black. Reliability, duty, and justice.

Fitting, for a Jedi. The symbol for the Order is on his pauldron, even, and the hilt of his saber hangs easy at his side.

The gasp that comes through Fett's vocoder is harsh. She can't imagine he likes this.

"You--" he cuts himself off, takes a breath audible even past the helmet, and tries again. "There is no way you are Tarre Vizsla."

"No, I'm afraid not."

"So you must be Obi-Wan Kenobi."

The man smiles and tucks his hands into his sleeves, the swinging of the fabric allowing them the glimpse of vambraces beneath. He ducks his head in a shallow nod. "I am indeed."

Satine feels how empty of blood her own face is. She can't imagine Fett is doing much better.

"This is the Kar'ta-yaim be talyc rang," Fett mutters, horrified in a way that Satine feels her own self echoing. "You..."

"Well, we certainly never called it that," Kenobi says, head tilting faintly. "But I imagine that after the siege... Yes, Temple of Bloodied Ash would certainly reflect our final days."

It was one of the few stories that didn't pit Jedi and Mandalorians against each other, in the histories.

It had been the first attempt to coexist, the warriors of the saber and the warriors of iron. None managed to wed the two philosophies the way Kenobi had, but that hadn't mattered. They'd lived together, in peace. The reports had been clear enough, that there hadn't been weapons storage. There hadn't even been real defensive measures, barring the force fields. The Jedi had refused to let war reach this building, even whilst the Sith still raged across the galaxy. The other temples could handle the atrocities afar. The children, the elderly, the infirm, they were all to find a home here. The only weaponry were the sabers and whatever metals the Mando'ade carried in their armor.

Just a place of peace, a home to research, to children, to hospitals, all slaughtered to the last man, and set ablaze after. Nobody had ever tried such an attempt at peace between Mandalore and Jedi since. The location has been lost for longer than anyone remembers, but...

"Why are we here?" Satine asks.

"I wonder," Kenobi says, seeming far too pleased for the revelations of the last minute. He strokes at his beard, and then turns and sweeps an arm across the air. As he does, a whirring noise surrounds them, stuttered and heavy, but growing in power. Bit by bit, the sections of the wall that he'd gestured at begin to glow.

There are lights set into the wall like circuitry, warm and bright. The generators, which much be centuries old, at the least, continue to run.

"They draw energy from the river in the mountain," Kenobi says, before either of them thinks to ask. "Come along, my dears."

Satine hesitates. So does Fett.

Kenobi turns, presumably noting that their footsteps aren't following him. He smiles, and the corners of his eyes crinkle.

Satine can't remember how old he supposedly was, at his death. His eyes are much older, but...

"I assure you, it's perfectly safe," he tells them. "The building won't hurt you."

"The building?" Fett asks, sounding perhaps a little more dubious than the situation warranted. They were already talking to a figure of legend.

"Yes, the building," Kenobi repeats, indulgent in a way that Satine would have found irritating if aimed at her, but rather approved of like this. "The walls are already straightening out, I feel. And the droids are going to be clearing out the debris soon enough. The rust will be a little difficult to manage, of course, but..."

"What do you mean the walls are going to straighten out?" Satine asks. "And how... this place has been dead for centuries, hasn't it? How did you wake it?"

"Duchess Kryze, I didn't wake the Temple," Kenobi tells her. She doesn't know how he got her name. "You did."

She doesn't know what to say in response. She stays quiet, and waits for him to elaborate.

"Is it because she woke you up?" Fett asks, clearly unwilling to play a waiting game. "You're a... guardian? The keyholder to the power?"

"Mand'alor," Kenobi says, with a smile playing on his lips behind the carefully-groomed beard, "I am the Temple."

What.

He smiles and starts walking backwards, gliding in a way that makes it clear he doesn't need to step, really, because his feet don't stay planted where he puts them. They have to follow, now, or risk losing him. "My consciousness, my very self, is woven into every bit of this building. I have no flesh, not anymore, but while my sense of self stays coherent in the Force... the Temple is my body."

"How?" Satine demands, hurrying to keep up. She tries to ignore the way the flagstones shift and settle ahead of her, still and level by the time she steps forward. She tries to ignore the grinding of metal, as it's pulled into the walls like it's soup instead of stone. She tries to ignore the creaking of the foundation about them, and stays focused on the pleasant smile of one of the only two Mandalorian Jedi in history that maintained the balance.

"Do your history books carry the name of my apprentice?" Kenobi asks.

"Skywalker," Fett says immediately. "And... Tano, I think, before she changed it. She escaped, didn't she?"

"Yes, she was away at the time," Kenobi says, voice distant for but a moment. Somewhere far off among the tunnels, there is a mighty crash. "I'd fought until I couldn't any more. My armor, what I had of it, protected me from the flames. I'd worn a helmet during the siege, and it filtered the smoke, even as I lay dying from other wounds... between that and the Force, I lasted long enough that Anakin found me. The others had all died of smoke inhalation, if they hadn't succumbed to their injuries or the flames themselves by that point."

"The fire didn't reach you?" Fett questions.

"Mm, no, the alcove I was in was all stone, and there wasn't anything flammable enough nearby to reach," Kenobi says, sounding distant again. "In any case, Anakin found me. He was... distraught. Desperate. Not entirely sane, I think, but with what he walked into, I can't find it in myself to fault him."

"Master Kenobi," Satine finds herself saying. "What did he do?"

Kenobi's smile is sad. She'd call it resigned, really. He's lived--sort of--with this situation for centuries now. It makes sense. "He took my mind, my soul in the Force, and 'saved' it in a way that would leave me tied to the world past my death. It was ingenious, but... I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I don't think Anakin realized what he was doing until long after he'd already succeeded at the impossible."

"He cursed you," Fett declares.

Kenobi shrugs. "I think he expected the temple to be cleaned and re-inhabited again soon enough. It wasn't, as you can see. The generators have been gathering power for centuries, but the fire destroyed most of them, and we didn't have anything in reserve with how much we poured into the shields during the battle. I couldn't fix the ruins, and with the horrors that had occurred, nobody was coming back. Anakin said he would, he promised, but... he disappeared. He visited, and he spoke with me, but a few years in he was simply... lost. I had a connection to his ship's signal, and it winked out in the blink of an eye, and never came back."

Oh. Terrifying.

"For all that I am the Temple, now, there are still secrets here that I don't yet understand," Kenobi tells them. "Your arrival, for one thing. The sediment carried up the mountain has slowly buried the temple over the centuries. There isn't a way in, save for two tunnels leading to the river, both of which I know are untouched."

"We just woke up here," Satine admits.

"Yes," Kenobi says. "You did. And part of me knows why."

"...part?" Fett asks.

It's a fair question to ask of a man who happens to have a brain that is also an entire building, somehow.

"Areas are cut off from my awareness," Kenobi admits freely. "Cave-ins and the like, mostly. There are one or two that I think I cut deliberately, due to what lay within."

Also terrifying, thank you.

"But I do believe I know what happened," he says, with that same damnably soft smile. "You two are the leaders of your people, yes? Tradition on one side, and peace on the other."

Satine shares a glance with Fett, and then turns to Kenobi and nods.

"Then I do believe it's simply the right time," he tells them. "You'll need to work together."

"I don't think so," Satine immediately denies.

"The Force works in mysterious ways," Kenobi tells her. "And if it brought you here--and you couldn't have arrived otherwise, I promise you that--then it was for a reason. Two leaders, the same people, with ideologies that I do believe are possible to bring together into, if not mixing, then at least coexistence."

"Impossible," Fett says. "The New Mandalorians are cowards, Kenobi. To share a culture with them--"

"Is as unlikely as Jedi and the old Mandalorians?" Kenobi asks, smiling so very politely that Satine wonders at how they aren't frozen stiff at the sight of it.

The sigil of the Order gleams mockingly from his pauldron.

Kenobi huffs out a breath, just a shadow of a laugh the slightest duck of his head, and then he turns and waves open a door.

Beyond him, sitting clean and pretty and entirely free of dust on its ancient stand, rests the Darksaber.

Satine stares.

She's sure Fett does, too.

"That can't be real," she says, her mouth moving before she can control it. "The Darksaber is lost, but it's popped up in history too recently to have been here since the fires."

"I saw it in Tor Vizsla's hands less than a years ago," Fett confirms. The vocoder cuts emotion from his voice, but not enough. "This place has been locked tight for centuries. The saber can't be here."

"The same could be said of the two of you," Kenobi points out.

It's true.

Satine steps forward, when it becomes clear that Fett won't. She picks up the weapon, holds it like the antique it is, square and unwieldy, but so very, very old that she cannot deny its importance. Weapon or not, it is her people's history.

She lights it.

The blade burns black.

"Turn it off," Fett rasps, and she does.

Satine looks back at him, and then to Kenobi. She turns fully, and steps forward, and holds it out to Fett.

He looks at her, uncomprehending.

"If you'd like to check for yourself," she says, and her voice is too quiet, but she can't help it. Something is happening, something heavy and broken, and she can't ignore the pressure of the future in this moment.

Fett takes the saber. He looks at it in his hands, and she thinks he is shaking.

"Your people need you, Mand'alor," Kenobi says, and there is no room for question. "They also need the Duchess."

"Why you?" Fett asks, voice strained and shattered in a way Satine can't even begin to pick apart.

"It was either me or Tarre, really," Kenobi says, with an idle shrug unfitting of the situation. "And I'm a little more... accessible, shall we say, to those who aren't sensitive to the Force."

Kenobi steps forward and rests an immaterial hand on Fett's shoulder.

"I already failed my people once," Fett says, barely audible.

"And now you shall save them," Kenobi says. His voice is firm. It is as if there is no question, to him, about whether or not Fett will succeed. "You won't be alone, either."

Satine shifts her weight, refusing to meet Kenobi's eyes. Her hands fist in her dress, and her mind races.

"What do you need of me?" Fett manages.

"...Mand'alor?"

"What do you need of me, Master Kenobi?"

Satine looks up.

Fett... Fett removes his helmet, and looks at Kenobi with an expression that is more desperation than deference.

"To cooperate with those who would follow a different creed," Kenobi says, so low it's practically a murmur. His hand, still intangible, reaches out to cup Fett's jaw. Fett leans into it. "To protect those who cannot do so for themselves. Our people are warriors, Mand'alor, but to refuse violence for violence's sake, after the wars that have killed our home and rendered it little more than glass, that is its own bravery."

"Master--"

"Listen to me," Kenobi says, and Fett falls silent. "You will need to protect them. The Duchess may have the funds and the support to bring forth education, agriculture, childcare, and so on, but there are many who would take advantage of that peace. She provides the home for tradespeople, but you are the shield that keeps them safe."

It could be a balance, Satine tries to tell herself. Maybe.

Kenobi seems so certain of it, and Satine may hate violence, but she is far from unaware of the pirates and warlords that nip at their borders.

"The foundlings need homes," Kenobi continues. "The stories need to be told. The culture is fading, Mand'alor. Bring it back."

His eyes flick to Satine, and she looks away.

(Her pressure was only ever on violence. Her advisors had pressed at the erasure of the rest, but if it meant children grew up without the worry of their parents dying in pointless battle, then wasn't it worth bending?)

(Couldn't she look the other way as they tightened restrictions on even symbolic vambraces, if it meant few too-small bodies in the streets?)

(Her planet was a wasteland. What did culture mean in the face of so many dead?)

(She knows Fett doesn't see it that way, but she is the only governing New Mandalorian with any blood on their hands. She knows the weight of violence, of lives taken by her actions.)

(She knows it, and she rejects it knowingly.)

Fett breathes harshly, and Satine closes her eyes.

"I agree to try," she says. "If we can get out of these ruins and back to our people... I will try. I cannot speak for my people on this, but to instate the old Mandalorians as a planetary guard... it may be doable."

"Little steps, my dear," Kenobi says. He looks down at Fett, who's... not well, it seems. "The Mand'alor needs some help, I think. I'm no trained mind healer, but I imagine I can help. More than most, maybe. There are few who know what it is to be a sole survivor."

He smirks, just a little, at the joke that he is not, in fact, a man who survived.

It's not very funny.

"I'll stay," Fett says. "I'll... I'll learn. Master Kenobi, you... Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me."

"As a student?" Kenobi asks, catching on to just the same thing as Satine has. "Not in the Force, surely, but... you truly wish to stay?"

"There are none left alive that I would trust to show me the way," Fett says. Beseeching, he reaches for Kenobi, and his hands pass through. There's a pain in him that Satine can't quite comprehend, and Fett falls to his knees. "Please."

"You need only ask," Kenobi says. "The Duchess will look after our people until the King takes his throne, and then you will rule together."

They'll have to, Satine tells herself, and steps forward. She puts a hand on Fett's shoulder, and pulls him to his feet.

"Where do we begin?" she asks.

#satine kryze #obi wan kenobi #jango fett #ghosts #massacre mention #is this vaguely inspired by GLaDOS and Castle Heterodyne? ...yes #but less murdery overall #star wars #the clone wars #Phoenix Answers Memes #supernatural au #kinda #one shot #death mention #child death mention #horror au #also kinda

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sofiaaaaaaaa03 · 3 years

Text

Did You Mean It?

Pairing: Dad!Din Djnarin x GN foundling! Reader

Rating: G

Word Count:1,449

Summary: Din has been teaching you Mando'a and does not know how to react after you call him buir (father) for the first time.

Request: Heyyy, love your writing! Definitely not enough platonic mando fics out there. But I was just wondering if you were interested in making a tag list, if not that's fine I just don't want to miss anything you write! Also, if your still taking requests I was wondering if you would write a fic around the reader calling Din some form of dad for the first time. By accident or on purpose (like after Din teaches her the word buir) it doesn't matter to me. I'm just curious how Din would react lol!

A/N: Hey hey!! I’m fairly new to tumblr so I’ll do my best to do tag lists in the furure! Just let me know if you wanna join so I can write it down somewhere :)) (That was for the general public I’ll definitely mark your name down) I’ve seemed to have grown a habit for writing in Din’s perspective haha, but yes I do think that no matter how Din first hears the reader call him buir he’d still be like “...me?” I hope what I did was okay and you enjoyed it. And thanks so much for liking what I write!!!

Although you were not raised in Mandalorian culture, Din took it upon himself to teach you Mando’a. He first brought it up some time after his encounter with Bo Katan and the other Mandalorians. When he finally saw others of his kind, albeit reassuring, it reminded him that the effort it took to find them could only mean his people were slowly being wiped out. Din needed to hold onto his deteriorating culture, and hoped that you would take an interest in learning from it as a member of Clan Mudhorn. When he inquired about your interest in learning the language he did so thinking that you would probably be daunted by the challenge. He wouldn’t have been offended if you declined as he didn’t want to force you into something you had no interest in, but much to his surprise you were ecstatic about it!

It warmed Din’s heart to watch you fumble over syllables during your first lessons. He began with simple introduction phrases and vocabulary. Nothing too difficult but sufficient enough to help you progress. You were often praised for your efforts and encouraged to converse with Din for practice, which you did. He often corrected you on grammar mistakes and your pronunciation. One thing you hated was how he wouldn’t remind you of a word you’d forgotten during a conversation. He’d simply ignore your plea to remind him and continue his work, leaving you to try to remember the term by yourself.

After some time, you were capable of holding simple conversations. Nothing too complex, but enough for you to get by if there was ever the need for you to use it. On one occasion, it helped you avoid getting arrested.

Although it was not entirely your fault, it often sounded like it was the way Din told it. The Clan had taken the day off to visit a local market after a successful bounty to stock up on fresh supplies and eat a good meal. Din gave you several credits to spend on whatever you pleased while he went to run his errands. The day was particularly sunny. Shoppers wandered around Din, although he stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the civilians with his beskar. Curious eyes casted towards him but he paid no mind to them as he walked up to a vendor and greeted her with a nod.

“Can I buy a holopad around here?” He inquired, waiting for the vendor to return his change. She paused a moment, credits in separate hands as she thought a moment.

“Not too far off that road,” Din followed her gaze and thanked her, pocketing his change before making his way to the shop she’d pointed out to. In truth, he already had a holopad of his own but wanted to give one to you for your upcoming birthday. He approached the shop, pausing a moment to gaze at the door, before making a move to open it. Wait.

What was that?

Din slowly moved back and surveyed the area. He could have sworn he could have heard something familiar. He strained his ears to listen once more.

“Buir!”

Suddenly his attention was caught by your figure as you desperately ran towards him, almost tripping on your feet with Grogu clinging onto you in your arms. Behind you was a vendor tailing you, anger written over his expression. Din marched forward quickly, pushing you and Grogu behind him when the two of you were close enough and held a hand out as the vendor approached.

“What did you do?” He looked down at you, not waiting for an answer but rather looked at the vendor. He hunched over, hands on his knees while he caught his breath. “Can I help you?”

He inhaled sharply and straightened himself up after gathering his breath, gesturing at you. “Is this yours?”

“Can’t you see the resemblance?” Din’s voice was monotonous despite the sarcastic comment. You made a face at the man from your place behind Din. The man inhaled sharply at your expression, though Din chose to ignore your actions.

“Is there a problem here?” Din inquired, pushing you further behind his back so you wouldn’t upset the man even more.

“I caught them trying to steal some of my produce. I have half the mind to call the sheriff-”

“That’s not true!” You interjected, pushing yourself into view but Din was fast enough to push you back in your place.

“Y/N.” Din warned, “vaabir no ukoror bic. Tonaid was bic?”

You shifted uncomfortably in your stance, raising Grogu higher in your arms. “Grogu.”

“Kaysh hiibir mayen?”

“Nayc, he grabbed some things and I didn’t realize.”

Din understood now that you meant this was just a misunderstanding. He placed a firm hand on your shoulder and turned to the impatient vendor. “My foundling has a habit of grabbing anything he can get a hold of. He’s still a child. You can understand.”

At first the vendor was reluctant to leave, convinced that Din’s little clan members were nothing but no good thieves. He even insisted that Din paid reparations for what Grogu had taken, for he tried to eat some before you took it from his mouth. It took some convincing, and several credits, to make the vendor walk away satisfied.

“Well, that’s that.” Din sighed, shaking his head a little and tucked his hands onto his hips. He turned to the two of you, “C’mon, let’s get something for you two to eat.”

At the local cantina Grogu helped himself to a hearty bowl of soup while you ate your own favorite meal from there. Din simply sat back, checking his credits before placing the payment on the table so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it later. When he was done and his mind left wondering, he thought back to when he first heard you call for him in Mando’a.

Buir…

The term you used was one that a child would call its father. You called him father. He wondered if it came out naturally for you, or if you used it because you had to prove that you and Din had some sort of relation. That must have been the case. You’d only been a member of the clan for almost a year now. Seeing Din as a guardian should be natural, but a parental figure? Din wasn’t so sure. He had grown fond of having you around. As an older child you were a far better conversationalist than Grogu was and many times showed that you trusted Din. But still, Din wasn’t your father. He had to remind himself that sometimes. But still, he couldn’t stop wondering how you saw him as he watched you eat your meal.

“Did you mean it?” Din didn’t know where he found the courage to start speaking, but he didn’t stop himself.

“Hm?” You lifted your head, your dish in your hands as you were about to take a bite.

“You called me… buir.” The word sounded strange to call himself.

Your face lit up when you reminisced the incident. “Oh! I mean, yeah. I knew it was the only way to grab your attention. It was really crowded today.”

Din chuckled, “It worked.”

You couldn’t help but smile before taking another bite into your meal, smiling to yourself at its taste. It’d been awhile since the clan ate at a cantina. It’d been awhile that the kiddos had gone out actually. Why was it that every time they joined Din out into town trouble would occur? Din shook his head lightly, deeming that only he would have ended up with such troublemakers.

“But, it’s not like I don’t see you as one.”

You stared back at him, cocking your head to the side and giving him a small smile. Although you couldn’t see it, Din held a big smile underneath his helmet. For a moment he almost forgot that you couldn’t see his expression and collected himself as you waited for his response.

“I’m really proud of you, Y/N.” He beamed, turning to wipe some smudge off of Grogu’s face. “You’re a great kid.”

You grinned widely and a pleasant moment of silence falls upon you two despite the noisy environment. Din told the two of you to finish soon so that the group would return to the ship before nightfall. During the last moments of supper, you and Din conversed with each other in Mando’a to practice your pronunciation once again. At some moments you grazed through phrases you previously struggled on, though you did not realize it Din certainly did, and it made him even more proud of how you’d grown.

#din djarin x reader #dad!din #din djarin #grogu #star wars x reader #star wars x you #star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x reader #x you #reader insert #star wars fanfiction #fanfic #gender neutral reader #gn reader

289 notes · View notes

let-them-read-fics · 3 years

Text

Blackpink Reaction To Their S/O Struggling W/ Drug Addiction

Warnings / Misc. -- ⚠️ Sensitive Topic ⚠️, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

A/N: Hey everyone! This request covers a sensitive topic that I haven't been personally exposed to, but I hope that I do it justice. I did my best to handle it with care and be as realistic as possible. Let me know what you think!

PS -- I didn't specifically name any substances or describe them in too much detail; I wanted to leave you room to picture whatever you had in mind, especially if you happen to be struggling irl.

👩 Also, I wrote this as Fem!Reader because nothing was specified. I hope that's alright, anon! Thank you for your patience :)

♡ Happy Reading ♡

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Jisoo

Discovered it after a few weeks of dating

She's amazing at reading people, so she had sensed that you were struggling with something; she just didn't know what.

She wanted to wait for you to tell her about whatever it was, but one fateful day she witnessed something that explained it all.

It wasn't meant to happen; she wasn't meant to see you like this. But, as fate would have it, Jisoo stumbled across something she never saw coming.

Her footsteps grow louder as she walks her way through the house, peeking her head into various rooms in search of you. The two of you invited some of your mutual friends over, and they've all been curious as to where you slipped away to earlier.

"Baby, are you in here? Everyone's wonder--"

The sound of the latch clicking out of place makes your heart drop and sets you into motion. Before you have enough time to fully react, though, Jisoo opens the bathroom door to find you sitting on the ground, attempting to shove a foreign substance into a plastic baggy.

Your hands make quick work of moving it out of view and sitting up on your knees, but she picks up on what's going on. Her eyes land on the material as you shift it behind your body, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"Jisoo--" Tears are already beginning to work their way into your eyes, slightly blurring your vision. Too many people have walked out on you after witnessing this, and the thought that she might go too is overwhelming.

She keeps her tone level as she steps into the room and quietly shuts the door behind herself. "Y/N, please explain yourself."

"I-I'm sorry Jisoo, I should've told you sooner." You shakily say, bringing a hand up to swipe away the few tears that've already leaked out. It's not usually like you to get so emotional so quickly, but seeing the pained look on her face is reason enough.

"Come here," she utters, plopping down next to you and pulling you up against her body as she leans back on the side of the tub. Her fingers rub soothing circles on your back while you rest your head on her shoulder, lightly dampening the material of her shirt with your tears. "I'm not mad at you for this, but I need you to tell me about it. I want to help you, my love. I can't watch you hurt yourself like this."

"Okay. Just promise you won't go," you softly say, the syllables of your words breaking here and there from the raw emotion you feel.

"I'm not going anywhere, Y/N." She presses a light kiss to your temple for reassurance, and her heart breaks when she feels your hands grip at her clothes out of habit. How many times have people told you that and still left you in your time of need? She cradles you in her arms, realizing just how fragile you are in your current state, and tells you to take your time.

With a steadying breath, you begin to explain your struggles.

Road To Recovery

Constant check-ins

"Hey honey, we're at the studio now. Are you taking care of yourself for me?"

Helps you deal with the symptoms of withdrawal when they hit

Focuses on distraction and redirection as ways to help you cope

If you're at a party and feel tempted after seeing someone use, she leads you away to distract you from the urge

Helps you find safe alternatives

Celebrates the little victories

"Yes, Y/N, 4 and a half weeks clean is plenty reason to celebrate. Now mark it on the calendar and get over here so I can put this hat on you."

Playdates at your local dog café to keep your mind occupied (and bringing Dalgomie so he can make new friends, of course)

Takes you indoor skydiving. She wanted to find a way to give you an adrenaline rush while still being able to participate with you, so that was a happy medium. She battled her fear of heights to do that with you.

Not letting you lose hope if you relapse

"You're not a burden, and I'm not letting you give up on yourself. Not after all the progress you've made. I believe in you."

Accompanying you to rehab and recovery meetings, if you want her to

Bringing you your favorite snacks and candies when she picks you up

"I got you a little something," she smiles, leaning over the center console of the car to kiss your cheek. "You deserve a treat, baby."

Whenever you decide to tell everyone about your struggles and recovery journey, she's right next to you for support

Spends all the time she can with you

Early on, she would get really worried when you missed her calls or took a while to respond, but eventually she got over her fears to some degree

Still checks up on you when she's away for work

"Sorry for missing your call, Chu. Dalgom tried to kill me when I was giving him a bath and I couldn't get to the phone in time."

Overall, just a very proud girlfriend who sticks by you no matter what

After You've Recovered

Annual "recovery party" to commemorate your sobriety

Sometimes you invite the girls and your other friends, and sometimes you prefer to just spend the day at home with Jisoo

"Look at how far you've come, my love. I'm so proud of you."

♡♡♡♡♡

Jennie

She would be the only one who figured it out on her own. She picked up on the signs fairly quickly and always subtly helped steer you away from any potentially tempting situations

If you two watched a movie that happened to have a triggering scene in it, she always noticed how you'd look away and subconsciously tense up a bit

"Hey, babe. This movie's kinda boring; why don't we watch that new Netflix documentary instead?"

If the two of you were invited to parties that were likely to have a bunch of alcohol and drugs, sometimes she'd try to suggest staying in or doing something else instead

You eventually caught on to her diversion attempts, and sat down with her to have a talk.

"How long have you known?" You ask, pulling your legs up towards your chest as you sit back against the headboard of your California King.

"A few weeks," she starts, running a brush through her hair until it's untangled. Her damp locks stick to her shoulders as she approaches you, some strips slightly drier than others. "Were you ever gonna tell me?" She inquires softly, facing you as she sits down beside you on the bed.

"Of course, Jen. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, I just… I was on my own with it before you. I didn't have anyone to turn to because everyone left once they found out." Your confession makes her chest ache -- it's a physical, honest pain that she feels as she imagines you battling such an unforgiving foe with no one in your corner. She places a warm hand on your thigh to comfort you, knowing just how much her touch helps when you're upset. "Hey, it's okay. There's no point in worrying about that now. I know it's hard to open up, babe, so thank you for doing this. I'm here to listen, alright?"

"Thank you, Jennie. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to know, either, because I'm staying right here."

"I love you," you whisper, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips.

"I love you, too," she sighs against you, preparing herself for the emotional night you're about to have. For now, she takes a moment to just pull you into her arms and rest her forehead against yours, finding comfort in your steady heartbeat.

"We'll start whenever you're ready."

Road To Recovery

Makes various arrangements to ensure that the media won't know of your struggles

Keeps things on lock, especially if you decide to remain private on the matter and not tell the world

If you make a public statement about it, she still does everything she can to keep you protected from the negativity. She knows first hand how tough it can be to deal with, so she never lets you face it alone

You both help each other work through things

"You're my rock, Y/N/N."

"And you're my world, Jen."

Takes care of you during bouts of withdrawal

Sings to you to calm you down and help you relax

Takes you to theme parks and rides all the big coasters with you so you can get a similar high that you did from the drugs. She gets to be clingy with you and spend the day having fun, so she doesn't mind it, and you enjoy it just the same.

Suggests fun activities for you to do together

"We should visit that pottery place tomorrow! I've heard a lot of good things about it."

You stick close together when you're in public, especially when paparazzi are near

Your presence helps with her anxiety, and you hold her close and tell jokes to keep her attention off of it

Random surprise celebrations waiting for you when you get home

"Hey Jen, I'm home." You announce, shrugging your coat off before hanging it up on the metal rack next to the front door.

"In here," she calls from the kitchen, effectively pulling you in with that sweet voice of hers. When you reach the doorway and peek in, a dumbstruck smile slowly parts your lips as you see the set up she constructed.

"Happy 3 Weeks" a multicolored banner reads, displaying the phrase above your dining room table where Jennie sits. "Surprise, honey," she says softly, glancing down at the cake she made for you as she scoots it closer. You approach the table and examine it, practically feeling your heart grow 10 sizes from the love you hold for your girlfriend.

"Is this why you left practice early?"

"Mhm," she nods, kissing your cheek before she reaches into a small gift bag next to her chair. "I'm so proud of you," she grins, sliding a thin, glittery headband into your hair. It has two springs attached to the top that bounce in every direction possible, surely making you look like a dork.

"God, I love you."

"You'd better keep that same energy after trying the cake. I think I might've added too much baking soda…"

You shake your head and pull her in, pressing kiss after kiss to her lips until she's grinning just as hard as you.

Going on adventures with Kuma and Kai

Especially to dog parks and other national parks

Helps you fill things out for rehab and doesn't let you get too stressed about it

Helps you regain confidence in yourself if you relapse

"This isn't the end, Y/N. You're strong, I know you can beat this."

Is right next to you through it all

After You've Recovered

Go on an annual vacation to get away from everything and celebrate your sobriety. You take the opportunity to escape the media and reconnect with each other

"Where to this year, Y/N? Bora Bora, maybe?"

Intimate celebration between the two of you on vacation, and then the girls throw you a party when you come back

♡♡♡♡♡

Rosé

You were really good at hiding your secret from people -- especially those that you care about most. You're always afraid that once they find out, they'll pack up and leave.

Rosé was one of the first to actually stay

She had been fairly oblivious to your struggles since you masked that side of yourself well, but one day the two of you attended a little get-together at your old friend's house, and your dirty laundry was aired.

"Bro, come on, let's play Truth or Dare!" One of your old friends says, perking up at the fact that he remembered the game even existed. He's already a little tipsy, but so are some of the others.

"I don't know, dude," you hesitantly start, missing the way that Rosé curiously raises a brow beside you.

"Come on, we'll keep it tame." Another person adds from the couch opposite you, their voice low. You recognize her as Cho, a sort of frenemy from your high school years. Something doesn't sit right for you with the hint of mischief that shines in her eyes, but your friends' pleas eventually push the feeling away and you relent.

"Fine, but if Austin gets dared to do some dumb shit like last time I'm dropping out."

"Like what?"

"Like what?" You ask back, disbelief evident in your voice. "Are you forgetting the fact that I had to bail you out after you got arrested for streaking down the neighborhood?"

"Okay, fair point," Austin holds his hands up in surrender. "Just a few rounds."

As everyone's once boisterous laughter finally dies down into quiet chuckles, you turn to Rosé for a quick kiss. She reciprocates and holds you there for a few more seconds, loving the way your lips feel against her own. As you brush your nose against hers and garner a sweet giggle from her, Cho interrupts the moment with a phrase that makes your blood run cold.

"So, Rosé, has Y/N told you about the time she got arrested for drug possession? Word on the street is that she still can't shake her old habit..."

Rosie feels the way you tense up at the question and pull away from her, cringing at the exposure you just received. The room goes silent, enabling a pen to be heard if it were dropped.

"Hey," Austin goes to defend you, about to yell at her for bringing up such a difficult topic.

"It's fine, Austin," you say, sticking your hand out in front of him to keep him from approaching her. The last thing you want right now is a screaming match about your struggles.

Rosie finally speaks up after what feels like an eternity, turning to Cho to say, "No, but that's none of your business. And I strongly advise that you don't speak on her name like that again." She cuts her eyes at the other girl, sending an icy glare at her to show that she's serious before giving her attention to you again.

When a few tense moments pass with no one really saying anything, Jackson, the host, speaks up. "I think you need to go, Cho."��

"Ah, what a shame. The fun was just starting," she mockingly pouts, stopping next to you on her way out the door. Rosé strokes the back of your hand to soothe you, tracing mindless patterns with her thumb until your shoulders relax and you look into her eyes. With Cho now gone, your friends decide to go out into the backyard and give the two of you some time to clear things up.

"So, I guess we should talk." You start, pulling your legs up onto the couch to sit criss-cross. She studies the way that you begin to nervously fidget and drop eye contact, and the sight breaks her heart.

"Your past is your past, Y/N, and I won't ever judge you for it. I wish she wouldn't have brought it up like that -- I really wish she didn't," she says, emphasizing the word to remind you of how upset she is with Cho, "But I can tell that you're still struggling. I want to help you get better, and I'll be here with you every step of the way, babe. You mean the world to me." She smiles sadly, trying not to think of how much it would hurt to lose you.

"Okay," you breathe out, accepting the honest help that she's extending to you. You've been burned and lied to in the past, but you trust Rosé to stay true to her word and assist you on the hard journey laid out before you. "Let's start from the beginning," you say, preparing yourself to retell your struggles from the moment they began all those years ago.

Road To Recovery

Takes care of you when withdrawal hits hard

Isn't afraid to take the day off if it's bad enough and she needs to

"Hey, Teddy. Tell everyone that I'll be staying home today, okay? I've already let the girls know, too."

Reassurance to the max

"You're doing amazing."

Is your shoulder to cry on when times get tough

On a weekend trip, the two of you snuck away to the beach to go cliff diving. It was a thrilling experience, and you'll always remember that day with her

Helps you find healthier alternatives to your addiction that can make the transition easier until you fully recover

"Baby, look at this." She says, repositioning her laptop so that you can see what she's looking at. The two of you are sitting on the bed, and her legs are stretched out over yours. "These herbs are safe to smoke and they can help with a lot of your troubles. These over here," she says, pointing to a section of the screen, "help with stress and anxiety. They make it easier to relax." You nod, logging the information in your brain as you run a hand over her smooth skin to keep yourself calm. It's a habit that both of you love. "Thank you, Rosie. Nobody's ever done anything like this for me." You say, keeping your head down as you remember all the people that have left you behind in your time of need.

"You'd do the same for me, and I'm happy to be here for you." She declares, holding one of your hands within both of her own. She cradles it delicately, just like she does your heart. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel my love. I'm not going anywhere, babe." She leans in, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss.

Keeps your spirits up if you relapse

"You're not a failure, Y/N/N. This is just a setback, and we're going to get through it together."

One of her friends told her about a fun art class that's supposed to help people in recovery let go of some of their resentment and negative feelings, so she brought it up and you agreed to go

It was structured in two parts:

Part 1: Everyone went out to an old car lot that had various old vehicles, electronics, and other things to smash up. Once you let loose and relieved some of your tension, you collected scraps of the things you destroyed.

Part 2: With the scraps you brought back, you were told to create any type of artwork you wanted -- whatever felt right. Collage, graffiti, scrapbook, etc. At the end of the class, you were informed of the driving message behind it: Though the negative feelings and aversions you dealt with in the past may have left you feeling broken, you never really were -- you've always had the power to piece yourself back together and continue on.

After You've Recovered

Taking a month off work every year to travel and experience new things together. Usually consists of going to another city (or even country) and exploring their art museums and other artistics outlets

The new experiences help remind you off all the reasons you want to stay sober, and they help her have new material for her songs

Lots of pictures and drawings to remember all of your adventures

Collect trinkets to hang up / display, especially around the holidays

The girls have a special celebration waiting for you when you return

♡♡♡♡♡

Lisa

She could tell something was wrong when your behavior started to change over the course of a couple weeks

She suspected other things, but after finding a substance in your bag while on a vacation trip, she was blind sided by the reality of the situation

"Hey Lis, have you seen my swimsuit?" You casually ask, strolling into your hotel bedroom in search of the item. "I thought I left it--"

Your words catch harshly in your throat, nearly making you choke from how quickly you cut yourself off. She's sitting on the edge of the bed with the baggy in her hands, and tears brim in her eyes.

"Fuck," you wince, closing your eyes as you put your face in your hands. "You weren't supposed to find out like this."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, staring straight ahead, though her eyes don't focus on anything in particular. Knowing you hurt her is bad enough, but seeing her like this makes the pain even more evident.

"I was going to, I promise. But I've been trying to wean myself off of it," you begin to explain, slowly walking across the room until you're in front of her. You squat down and put your hands on her thighs, staying quiet until she meets your gaze. "I've tried to quit cold turkey in the past but it didn't go down well. I figured I could handle this on my own and not get you involved."

"Baby, I want to be involved. You've been different lately, and having you shut me out didn't help ease my fears. I want to be a part of this, okay? You can turn to me when you feel alone," she says through the occasional tears that roll down her cheeks, "It's my job to help you and keep you safe. So let me," she crouches down next to you as she says the last part, wrapping her arms around you when she notices your lip tremble. "I'm not gonna let this get between us," she says against your shoulder, reminding you of how strong her love for you is.

"I'm sorry I waited so long," your words are muffled against her shirt, but she can hear how the emotion in them changes your voice slightly.

"We have to start somewhere, and this is just as good a time as any. I'm right here, Y/N/N."

Road To Recovery

Sweet texts and reminders throughout the day

"Hey baby, have you eaten today? The girls and I miss you like crazy."

"Don't forget about your check-up tomorrow. I already told my manager that I'll be taking the day off, so I'm all yours 😉"

"*image attachment* Question: Do you think Lego would look cute in this or do you think Lego would look cute in this? Because he WOULD."

Stargazing trips to talk about how far you've come

Making treats for the cats together if you have a bad day

Sometimes your withdrawal leaves you with weird cravings, but she never hesitates to race to the store at any hour and snatch up your favorite treats

Learning how to cook together to keep you occupied and give you a hobby (plus she's always wanted to get better at it)

“If you fling that at me, I swear to God I'll--”

"Oops!"

"LISA!"

Day trips to random parks and open locations to have little photoshoots when she has free days

Once took you bungee jumping for the experience and adrenaline rush

Bringing you into the studio if you're having a hard time and don't want to be alone

Always listens to you and shows how much she cares

Opts out of events if she suspects that drugs will be there to tempt you (considering you're always her plus one)

You still send her to enjoy herself at the events without you sometimes, though it does take a lot to convince her to leave you at home

"Okay, okay! But we're binging that new show when I get back."

Makes you laugh often and cheers you up when you need it most

She's your sunshine

After You've Recovered

Considering that you're her muse and she's the artist that she is, she hatched a plan early on to document your journey to recovery

"One more, babe. Just like that." She instructs, holding the camera up to her eye one final time. "Perfect."

"Alright, close your eyes and turn around." She commands while returning to the coffee table that sits in the middle of your living room. Her hands make quick work of putting the finishing touches on her gift for you while you patiently sway and hum to whatever song is stuck in your head at the moment.

"Annnnnd done!" She shouts, approaching you with a wide smile tugging at her lips as she holds the book out in front of herself. "It's a photo album. I started it the day you told me you wanted to try and get better," she says, smiling softly as she slowly walks you through the beginning pages of the book. "I thought it would be nice to see how far you've come," her eyes remain glued to the pictures she took as she continues flipping, and she fails to realize that you're staring at her now.

"I'm so in love with you. I can't thank you enough, Lis. This is beautiful." You shake your head in quiet disbelief, genuinely surprised that someone would work so hard on something for you. It shouldn't be a surprise with her though, considering how much she loves you, but it still baffles you sometimes.

"This gift only shows a fraction of my love for you, but I'm happy you like it. This is nothing, baby; there's so much more where this came from. Thank you for letting me in." She captures your lips in a meaningful kiss, and finds it hard to pull away. You seem to be her drug of choice, but neither of you care to end that sweet addiction.

Annual trips to photoshoots and fashion shows

Being her favorite model (seriously, she could look at you for hours on end)

Always feeling so loved and cherished, no matter what the two of you are doing

231 notes · View notes

lexiwright · 4 years

Text

Building Jealousy

Benny watts x reader

A/N- so hey first benny sorry. This was requested by Anonymous with the second prompt. This is my first in a while so I'm a bit rust but I really hope it's well received and yeah.

Also a side note that isn't import but when writing this Ive been listening to ”You” by petit biscuit. I'm not sure why but any time I've been reading anything to do with benny or writing him this is my go to song. But yes thanks for reading and ya.

Word count - 1720

Warnings - none

Prompt 2 “your jealous aren't you.”

You weren’t amazing at chess. You knew that. Next to people like Beth Harmon and Benny watts you were well aware of the fact. But it was an interesting game which you did good enough when you put your mind to it that you had entered a few tournaments over the years just for the adrenaline rush. You’ve managed to build up to a good enough level that you were state champion for a while but it only lasted a little while.

You’ve known benny a while. And Beth too. You were closer with benny and for a time you thought maybe the pair of yous could become something more. But as soon as Beth came into the frame you lost his interest and you went back to just admiring him without him returning any ounce of feelings to you.

You met Beth in Mexico. Before the great loss against Borgov. You barely got past the second round and lost in the third but hey you weren’t to bothered. But you had noticed how often Beth appeared alone and you decided to see if she wanted company. She seemed to take to you fairly well and yous quickly became friends. After her mum died you comforted her for a little while before you both had to go home. You understood she needed a bit of time and you went to New York for a little. You’d called up benny in advance who wasn’t doing much that weekend so offered his living room.

Accepting the offer and hoping to get to spend some more time with the man you arrived outside his house at a quarter to midnight. Shattered out of your mind from travel. You came in and greeted him as an old friend before you sat down at his table that displayed his board and had a look to see what he was playing.

It took you a second before you realised he’d been playing Beths last game with borgov. It’s angered you a little bit you tried to not care.

“How was the trip Y/N? “ asked benny as he rounded the table to the kitchen for some glasses.

“Nothing special. How’ve you been keeping?” You yawned and watched as he poured you a glass of milk.

“Ah, you know. Not a lot to do around here. Just waiting for the next tournament as always. I hear you met with Beth Harmon. What do you think of her?” He asked. Placing the glasses in the microwave for you both.

“Of course. She seemed nice. We got along well enough. Shame about her mum though but her playing is beyond amazing.” You accepted the glass of warm milk as you spoke and failed to notice as he tensed at your praise of the redhead.

He pushed his hair back and sat down in front of you and watched for a second as you took a sip of your milk. Studying your face with admiration.

Leaning forward, elbows on the table, he leaned his face on hand, two fingers tapping his cheek. Something you noticed he did when he was in thought. You tossed him a quizzical look before questioning him.

“What?”

He took a breathe and held it for a second before speaking in a gentle tone. “You look tired. Are you okay? “

You chuckled at him. Thinking he was joking. “Well, Benny I have just got off a plane so of course, I’m tired.”

But he stopped you. “No. It’s more than that.” You didn’t know what to say and just stared at him confused. He cleared his throat and moved back and gestured at the board. Still set up with Beth's last match. And spoke, “care for a few speed games?”

You rolled your eyes. You rarely win against him at speed chess. You know he was only doing this to show off. But you indulged him and let him flex his bored muscles. Yous played about ten rounds, winning two and drawing one while the king in a loose black striped shirt won 7. And you were sure he was going easy on you but you didn’t mind. It’s still fun.

Once he was sure you knew who was the best player and had finished your warm milk he suggested time for bed. Which you gladly accepted. He left you with the blow-up but knew you were too stubborn to let him do it.

You said goodnight and melted into one of the comfy seats rather than taking the blow-up bed and found yourself involuntarily drifting to sleep where you sat.

You woke with a start as you were shaken awake. You were on the plane and the air hostess was shaking you awake. Clipping in before landing you looked out the window. You were landing in New York again. Only this time you weren’t going to stay at Benny's. Beth was there now.

It had been a few weeks or so since you last stayed. You smiled at the memory of being woken up by a laughing Benny cause you hadn’t made it into bed last time.

You were staying at a hotel a while from Bennys. There was a small tournament that you thought would be fun to go too.

After leaving New York last time you’d called up Beth to see how she was doing. She had Harry beltik with her so at least she wasn’t alone.

You ended up taking for hours. Going over matches verbally for the fun of it and discussing favourite theory’s. This turned into a habit every few days and yous both seemed to get along well.

She called when Harry decided to leave. You could tell she was upset but didn’t want to push it too much. She called before her match with Benny. After the losing rounds of speed chess and you told her not to worry. And she called when she beat him. And then the next day when she told you she was going to New York with him.

You were happy for then although a little sad you wouldn’t get to spend time with him but you understood why.

You had got there a few days earlier so when you heard cleo was in town you opted to spend some time with her.

It had been a week or so and you had been invited to benny's along with Cleo and some boys. You went and was happy to catch up with Beth and Cleo.

You didn’t notice a dismayed benny who was disappointed your attention wasn’t on him.

He thought he could win you over by playing Beth in speed chess but even then he lost spectacularly. You sat out for the games. Not feeling like losing today. But when you and Cleo applauded beths wins. You failed to see just how livid he was that she impressed you more.

He went to bed sourly that night. Tossing and turning. Unable to get the beaming pride for Beth he saw on your face as you clapped her and not him.

Your third match of the tournament had been the next day. Normally if you think your gonna struggle you call benny and get some advice while you listen to him speak. His voice soothing you from nerves even if you end up loosing. But he knew that the match was today and was subtly waiting for the phone to ring. However when it did this time Beth picked up and you felt that you’d annoyed benny enough over the years so you decided to talk to Beth instead.

She was fine with this. Beth is proud of being needed. However, she ( unlike you) noticed the way benny drummed his fingers on the counter and stared at her as she said the first few words “Oh, hello Y/N...”

she noticed as his pupils dilated and the drumming stopped.

He had expected her to hand him the phone after that but when she didn’t he couldn’t understand why. And when Beth started talking about the game you were about to play he could feel as something boiled in him. He was who you needed. Not Beth. Yes, Beth was better than him but you needed him. Benny like being able to give you that little bit of ease before a scary match.

He waited a little while longer in case Beth gave him the phone. Till he realised she wasn’t going too.

“Is that Y/N?” He questioned harshly.

Beth just nodded and continued the conversation.

Benny couldn’t take it. And marched over to stand in front of Beth. “What does she want?” He asked. Even though he knew.

“Well she’s got her match today and she said she was nervous,” Beth said deadpanning.

The look on Benny watts faces told Beth something was afoot. Then she realised and gave him a smug look as she said her next words slow and loud enough for Y/N to hear.

“Your jealous aren’t you?”

He froze for a moment. Realising what she said was right.

He barely registered as Beth spoke to you again apologizing “sorry Y/N. I’ve got a green ogre here that I’m going to pass you too. Good luck for the match. “

She preset to phone into his hand and moved for him to sit in her seat.

He held the phone to his ear to hear your voice and he frowned.

“Benny what’s wrong”

He paused thinking before speaking with an almost whiny tone.

“ you think you can drop me cause I was beaten by Beth Harmon at speed chess, no, uh uh. I'm here to stay Y/N L/N and I won’t sit back and let you go off to someone else. No. Your mine got it.”

You were speechless. You hadn’t realised benny felt like thins. He realised what he said.

“ well eh you know, your not my property that’s not what I mean. I just.”

He took a deep breath and spoke with confidence. “ I need you Y/N. You're like the queen to my king. I feel I’m nothing without you. So please don’t brush me off for someone better.”

You smiled over the phone and he could hear it in your voice. “ I’d never brush you off benny.”

He sighed in relief and smiled.

#benny watts x reader #benny watts #beth harmon #queens gambit #x reader #benny #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster

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marvelyhp · 3 years

Text

Still you | chapter II

Chapter II: The comeback

Synopsis: Y/n decides to help the Avengers despite their betrayal two years prior and her life makes a big shift once again.

Pairing: Y/n x Bucky Barnes and some Y/n x Sam Wilson

Word count: 5,997

warnings: cussing, some fluff

note: I know I took so long but I had writer's block. then, I got covid and I felt too awful to write. But I'm okay now so this is what I could come up with. Not my greatest stuff. the tag list is open :)

Side note: I would really appreciate hearing from you and your thoughts!

--------------------

We managed to lower two floors without raising suspicion or making too much noise. At least, James and I were pretty silent, whispering if needed. But of course, Stark always had to open his damn mouth. He had been talking all the way —pretty loudly too— and he just did it again.

“Where’s the grandpa with the bad luck of having you as a tenant?” The man didn’t know the meaning of whispering. Or maybe he did. He just wanted to make my life more complex than it was. I looked frantically behind me, praying he had not seen me sneaking out. At the sight of no one, a breath of relief exploded out of me. But it didn’t last long, irritation quickly dampening my already poor mood.

“Shut the hell up!” I hissed. My patience with the insufferable man wearing thin.

“Oh, relax. If he sees us, we’ll knock him out and blame you.” He mocked, a chuckle erupting throughout the hall and following the stairlike a draft of wind. My blood started to boil inside my veins and I felt the heat spread from head to toes. I was afraid to be reaching my tipping point already because this was nothing. Two years out of practice left me hypersensitive to his shit. I wondered how long I would be able to stand the insufferable mortal and regret hit me like a ton of bricks.

“He is a good man, Stark. We will not knock him out.” I whispered as I pressed myself against the wall. Twisting my head around the corner at the end of the hall, I sneaked a glance at the stairs and the visible space from the top. “Watch your step here. His room is right underneath the stairs. We don’t want to wake him up.

I walked forward, pressing my foot in the first step, praying the creak of the old wood would keep quiet today as it did some nights. At least that’s what I hoped but it wasn’t what happened. A groan broke the silence in the room and I knew that if he was awake, he definitely heard it. I waited a couple of seconds, alert to any noise. When nothing came, I advanced four more steps. I focused on the one shadow dancing in the wall and relief swept through me. He wasn’t awake.

I turned, thinking the guys were still up. However, I let out a gasp when Bucky’s face came into view, mere inches away from mine. Thanks to the startle, the foot I had dangerously close to the edge slipped.

My heart stopped as I thought about the fall and the inevitable bone-crushing pain that would come after it. The stairs were pretty high and even though they were wood, it was quite sharp. Splinters roamed everywhere. I waited for the pain and the strenuous sound. It was phenomenal, the first time I saw the team in two years and I would meet them in a body bag with a broken neck.

However, it never came.

When I opened my eyes, blue electric eyes stared back at me. Our faces were inches away from each other. A hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against him to hold me from falling. I was hyper-aware of our breaths clashing against each other, making the most sinful of sounds. Our lips were separated by a small space, too close for my brain to catch up quickly. I noticed how his lips roamed my face, stopping at my lips slightly parted by the surprise. His eyes held a fervent fire and my breath quickened once I felt the inevitable rush of warmth roaring my body.

Coughing slightly, I took a step backward, stepping out of his grasp. I forgot all about the landlord as I scolded myself. The man looked at me and there I was getting flushed like a raging hormonal teenager. I looked at everything but Bucky’s face, why I knew still had his eyes on me except now his jaw was firmly set. I wanted to ask him what was going on inside his head but a hovering shadow at the top of the stairs captured my attention.

“What are you still doing up there?'' The man looked utterly confused standing at the top of the stairs surrounded by darkness. I wondered if it had to do with what he just witnessed.

“You care about that grandpa, don’t you?” His expression was one of disbelief. His body wasn’t moving as if in shock or trying to process the information he thought was correct. And it was, but he didn’t have to know.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, unaffected.

“Of course you do. You care about the landlord.”

I whirled around as fast as I could with the incident earlier present in my head as a gruff voice filled the room. A short, stubby old man stood at the foot of the stair dressed in a white t-shirt and some basketball shorts. The ends of his hair stood up as if held by a string and maneuvered by a child. His narrowed black eyes stared back at us. His lips pressed in a thin line.

“Of course, she does, kid. Why shouldn't she?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. I followed the movement of the milk dancing in the glass on his right hand. I felt proud of the English I had taught him and how-- as much as I didn't want this to happen-- useful it would be. I looked back at Stark to find him gaping like a fish. Little croaks came from his throat but no coherent words came from him. It was the first time I had seen Stark speechless. “I’m an incredible landlord if I say so myself.”

He was.

I cursed inwardly. There were things I didn't want everyone to know. To a certain extent, I wasn’t ready for the team, for Stark, to find out that I wasn’t the monster he expected me to be. I wasn’t ready for him to look at me differently. Andrei had the power to change our whole dynamic.

It wasn’t that Andrei and I shared anything about life. Or at least I didn’t. Andrei liked to talk, to share his life with me, and try to make me talk. He said I was too reserved. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It had been a warm evening. I could see the sun filtering through the windows. Shining onto the top of the show top and illuminating the cottage-like bakery. The dough in my hands stuck to my skin, lumps of a uniformed cream mass suffocating the fingers. The powdered white dust sat beside me and I felt irritated. I hadn’t thought about pouring it on the mixture before I touched it. ‘I was out of my element here’ I thought as I reached for the flour.

Andrei’s baker had abruptly called five minutes before work notifying him he couldn’t work his shift. His grandmother had fallen down the stairs and fractured her hip, hence his lack of concern for Andrei. He was the only living relative she had so it fell upon him to look after her. One missed shift would turn into dozens. The bakery was small and hidden in a remote part of Romania. The clientèle was not much besides those living in the small town from years ago, or even since they were born.

Everyone in town knew each other. When I arrived I had my doubts about staying in this place because of that same reason. I would be the talk for weeks and I couldn’t risk so many people questioning my presence. Except, I was lucky.

One evening, I sat in a small and dark corner of a bar near the outskirts of the town where it was most probable to see an outsider. Two men sat a couple of feet away from me, talking fairly loudly. Out of boredom and desire to know the people I might have been seeing every day, I heard and studied their moments. Taking notes about their behaviors and storing them far into the file I had on humanity. Their voices were cheery as they ate pastries that I was sure to not be from the small bar.

“This is so good! I can’t believe I haven't tasted a pastry this good since I left,” he moaned loudly in reaction to the puff on his hand. The crumbly dessert spilling powdered sugar all over his dark gray pants. “Andrei hasn’t lost his touch.”

“Who is this Andrei you talk so highly of?” The older male asked the seemingly young partner. The man wore an expensive suit, not one that could be found here and from what I gathered from their conversation, he had not grown up here. But his friend did. What he said next grabbed my attention the most.

“His bakery is pretty hidden in the town. Someone that didn’t know the road would not find him. He used to be a criminal, on the run and all that. But since he got out of prison he became a baker. the man sure has a gift. I don’t even know why he went to jail, because the man is a sweetheart. I think he was just dealt a bad hand.” The man kept munching on his pastry as he talked. The vowels all merging to create a soundless blob. I swore he said more but that was all I could understand and by the face of his friend, he understood less.

“It’s such a small town. Why was it never known?”

“I don’t know. Rumor has it that he was born here but left, something to do with his family. He came back years later, on the run from some people. People we assumed to be the police. Of course, the police followed his trail and eventually found him here. Two years later. He hid pretty well if, you asked me. He treats people with respect but he never talks about himself. He has always been reserved when it comes to his life, only telling small details that lead to nothing. You know, not enough to form a life picture…”

Before he finished talking, I was out of my seat, walking towards the pair. I plastered an innocent look on my face, one I had studied and perfected many times since coming to earth. I relaxed my posture, knowing I had been tense and tucked since I entered this town. I still can’t believe I was social before. Nobody would believe that if I told them now.

“Hey, those pastries look marvelous!” I said in a cheery voice when I reached the pair. Both of their heads whipped towards my direction, curiosity written in their faces. I could hear the questions in their head about me and where I came from and what I looked for in town. Typical gossiping mortals. I wanted to cut the tie between our heads, feeling bad about corrupting the men’s thoughts. But I couldn’t, not until I had what I wanted. “Do you know where could I find them?”

“Sure thing. What’s your name, sweet thing?” Sweet thing, that’s funny. If he had been into the American news he would not say that.

“Calypso. Do you know where the place is? Can you explain it to me?” I said, trying to hide the hurry in my voice. His thoughts were front seat in my mind, not wanting to miss a thing.

“So eager.” He chuckled. Instead of the route, I was expecting, he thought about my naked form and countless sexual images began replaying. I resisted the urge to impale his backside, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. I played his game. I battered my eyelashes and looked at him from hooded eyes. I bit my lip gently and walked closer. Sneaking a glance at his friend, I noticed he was no longer looking at us. He seemed uncomfortable and had turned to his coffee and pastries. I wish I had a coffee to turn to.

“Maybe you could take me there. If you remember the way, of course.” He smirked and grabbed the jacket slung over the wooden chair he sat on. His friend looked at us, startled as if he wasn’t expecting my response. However, the joy of his friend would be short-lived. Images of the way to the small bakery filled my head and I smirked. Before he could take my hand to guide me to his car I asked for the restroom.

As soon as I came in, my eyes searched for some window I could use to leave unnoticed. And I found it in the corner of the bathroom beside one of the huge black and white mirrors. I locked the door and hurried to open the window, sliding through the door. The darkness of the night didn’t face me but my alert was high. Everybody could hide in the dark. My heart rocked against my chest as I saw the same guy from early waiting beside his car. I hurried along the alleyway, pulling my hood up and hiding my hair, disappearing into the dark.

“Calypso, boy for you.” I was brought from my memories by the rough voice of Andrei. Whoever didn’t spend much time with him would think he was mad all the time thanks to his voice and forever furrowed white bushy eyebrows. I matched the furrowing of his eyebrows when he mentioned a boy. I had been careful enough to not get attached or get anyone attached to myself so the mention of another human being besides Andrei spooked me.

Suddenly, the thought of agents looking for me or the usual threats I had filled me with panic. I heard the thunderous beat of my heart. The tremble of my hands disrupted the beautiful form of the pastry in my hands. quickly cleaning and taking away the apron full of white dust, I walked to the front of the door.

A dark-haired man in his early twenties stood next to the door with a blue box in his hands. A white shimmering ribbon adorned the delicate box, wrapping silkily around it to form a well-done bow. The chiseled bone structure of his profile caught my breath as he looked to the small, underpopulated plaza in the corner of the rondure. The curvature of his roman nose and the thin shape of his lips sticking in his profile.

I saw him regularly at the small bakery. His usual was a Papanaşia with a black strong coffee. He left three dollars on the tip jar three times a week and I noticed if he was overly happy, he would leave a fiver regardless of the day or how many days he had tipped. I had seen him mad twice in the store. Seemingly, he was one of those guys that harbored every trouble inside in a chaotic turmoil. I knew because I had invaded his mind one of those times. Curiosity had gotten the best of me, knowing he was always the type of guy that carried the sun on his shoulder. Every time he caught my attention, I tried to remind myself that he could’ve been an agent sent by Hydra to kill me or worse, kidnap me.

“Hello. What can I help you with?” I said, confidence laced in my voice. The confidence I did not expect to have. His head whipped towards me. A smile broke on his face at the sight of me. I saw the fidgeting of the box in his hands and the sudden bobbing of his knee. He didn’t appear to be harboring any secrets, or at least not deadly ones.

“Hey. I know this will probably look very weird to you but I’ve been watch- I mean not watching but I just- I,” His stammering caused a giggle to leave my lips involuntarily. My hand immediately flew to my lips, hiding the smile corrupting my face. He lowered his face but not before giving me one of those smiles that could light up a world. God, I felt sappy. He looked at me once again. “I don’t know how to do this. I definitely didn’t think it through.” He chuckled. One of his hands came up to brush his face while shaking it, side to side. I could tell he was nervous, maybe more that I initially had been.

Seeing him stammer was the cutest thing I had seen since the little green and purple flowers that grew back home and surrounded our palace. So, I decided to help him a bit. “You could start with your name,” I said, trying to not smile too much. Agent, agent, agent…

“God, you probably should’ve done that first. Nice one.” He said, more to himself than for me to hear it. “I’m Razvan. It's lovely to finally meet you.” I shook his hand. It was rough yet soft with elongated fingers caressing my own small and thin one.

“Calypso.”

“What I meant to say, you know, before I shot myself in the foot was that you caught my eye since I first saw you. Now, I swear I'm not stalking you because it could be easy to think after the horrible introduction I just did. But, yeah, I would like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you.”

I did think about it. I swear I did. I thought about how he could be linked to Hydra and if you searched on the deepest paranoid corner, the Avengers. I thought he could’ve been just a random murderer whose floor I had shaken. My voice of reason said no. and with the saddest feeling settling my stomach, I told him what I thought. Or tried to.

“I’m sorry, I-I can’t. You seem like the loveliest person b-but I…” For some reason, I couldn’t just say no. “Can I think about this?” That was the only thing that came out of my mouth while I tried to get the words ‘go away and ‘don’t speak to me’ out of my mouth. His smile faded a bit, but even then he tried to keep his positivity and bright personality on. I could feel the waves of disappointment once I started speaking but hope soon came flooding back.

“Sure. I'm a complete stranger coming here every day just to see you. I can see how that’s alarming. take your time.” He shook his head as if realizing what he had just said. He chuckled and I tried to give him a small smile. Before I could turn away and leave, I felt him touch my elbow. I jumped back.

His brows furrowed quickly. “Forgive me. This is for you. And please accept it.” I thought about refusing but this would only prolong this meeting, pushing me to accept a company I wasn't ready for. I took the small box, my hand already trying to open the shimmering blue box. “No, please. Open it later, more calmly and everything and you can tell me whenever you’re ready if you like it.” I gave him a smile, which he returned brightly before diving back inside the back of the store.

Once inside, I undid the delicate ribbon, watching it dissolve like seafoam by the lovely blue water. The glistening gold chain with a tiny, colorful Koi fish rested in the center of the box. My heart swelled and I felt a way I hadn’t felt since Bucky. He remembered what I had told him that first, and the only time we had talked before today.

The voice of Andrei brought me out of my stupor with a jump. A hand traveled to grasp my heart while the other held the box tightly.

“Razvan is nice guy.” His voice was gruff and deep like it had been since I had met him. He walked behind me and grabbed a pack of flour to dump beside me. I looked towards the other and realized I was running out of it.

“Do you know him?”

“Yes. Comes every day for two years. Great boy.”

When I didn’t say anything, he stopped cutting open the pack of flour and turned to look at me. “You too reserved. Not want to end like Andrei alone. Give guy chance.” That was all he said before he left. A tall wrinkly woman with short red hair calling out for him.

The last thing I thought that day after he left drove me to the same road he had set me on. I didn’t want to end alone or die alone for that matter. But what was I to do if everyone thought I was a selfish monster who just wanted to kill and bring chaos? The only person who didn’t feel that particular way was the same man I was leaving without saying goodbye.

Stark seemed to have gathered his words together because he suddenly began spewing some shit on Andrei. shit, he didn’t like it.

“The girl is no selfish girl. Only a fool like yourself would think so. Only a blind man would propose such a thing.” His brows were furrowed but Otherwise, he was calmly standing at the bottom of the stairs sipping his milk. He seemed like he would continue but I made sure to stop him

“Andrei, no.”

“I see. She holds you hostage and controls you, doesn’t she?” Stark countered, a smirk settling in his features. I pinched my nose, sighing loudly.

“You have to leave with this buffoon?” I walked down to his side, muttering an annoyed yes. “I’m sadder for you than him.” A chuckle escaped him as he hugged my shoulders with one arm. I tried to push him away but found no will to do so. I would miss Andrei. He felt like the father I never had. Worry settled in my stomach knowing I had been here and I would no longer be if anything happened to him. I hugged him back, despite my better judgment and the four pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Don’t forget about me, violet. Nor dear Razvan.’ He told me after letting me go. I nodded before calling back to my two companions. Stark came down, slowly walked to the front door. Bucky at his heels. They both turned. Bucky’s face had some sort of emotion I couldn't decipher. I thought I could, but I doubt he would feel happy about finding someone genuine to spend my days with.

Stark, on the other hand, looked at Andrei as if he had grown an extra head.

“I’m confused. Aren’t you supposed to be dying at her touch or something? Are you sure she didn’t threaten you to act this way?” The funny thing was, he sounded genuinely confused. The skepticism in his voice hurt my feelings but the mere fact it was stark made me forget quickly. He was an insensitive prick with a personal vendetta.

“Take this fool away before I turn him into a human pastry,” Andrei commented. I walked towards them, chuckling. “Ai grijă, violet aprins.” Take care, fiery violet. The elder said before we shut the door behind us. my heart swelled at his words. I knew I would long for those quiet evenings where it would rain and we would sit down in the living room with a book, quietly enjoying our presence. We laughed and made new and invented pastries in the kitchen for days, always looking for new and innovative flavors. I would miss the man that had treated me like his daughter.

“Take care, Pop.” I whispered to myself. Not thinking a long-haired blue-eyed soldier would hear.

And just like that, we disappeared quietly into the night and I said goodbye to one of the most important people in my life.

James let me know they came in the Quinjet, that enormous thing I had refused to sit on two years ago. the walk was not far from where we were and we found it in a while.

The Quinjet was hidden behind one of the buildings next to the bakery. the gigantic thing sleeping while we arrived to climb up. clint stood outside, his arms crossed. that man always looked like he was in a power pose.

“Romania? What is it with chased people and Romania?” Confusion and genuine interest were written all over his face.

Barton had always been a friend before I knew the truth. Nat told me she had told him in a drunken stupor. he tried to talk to her about telling me but she didn’t listen. I didn’t hold it against him because I knew he wasn’t actively participating but he didn’t do anything either.

I shrugged. “It’s a good hiding place. too many criminals organizations for you to matter. nobody cares who the hell you are as long as you keep quiet.”

“Good shadow place.” Bucky added as he tried to help me get in the Quinjet. I ignored his hand, focusing on Clint’s face.

“Exactly.” My response was clipped. if he was fishing for a normal conversation he was in for a treat.

After a while, we took off. My legs became restless as I sat in front of Stark and Bucky while Clint piloted the flying thing. boredom pushed me to get up from my seat and walk towards the front of the Quinjet. that, and Straks glare along with the awkwardness of Bucky’s movements.

Clint’s focused face came into view as I sat beside him. silence engulfed the both of us before he broke the silence with some words I didn’t expect.

“We missed you.” it was a quiet remark but full of shocking force. I just sat there, wide-eyed looking towards the already clearing sky. I looked towards him and forced myself to respond. a scoff came out of me, causing Clint to look rapidly towards me.

“You have no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. Nat was pretty shaken up when you left. we looked for you everywhere and decided you didn’t want to be found. that you needed some time. it took you longer than we thought.”

“You didn’t find me because you didn’t look. You don’t have to lie to me, Barton.” I said, masking the hurt I felt with anger. why keep lying to me? I knew they didn’t care sop they didn’t need to act as they did.

“What? we did loo-” He never finished his sentence since Stark’s voice boomed around the small space. he came to let us know where would land soon as if we didn’t know already. Clint was the pilot, it was impossible for us to not know. suspicion arose in my chest but I soon forgot it when I saw the massive compound below us.

✹✹✹ I would be lying if I said my stomach wasn’t fluttering and my hands trembled slightly. I subtly rubbed my hands in my jeans, hoping to get some moisture away. But, there was something else bothering me. It had been there for a little while. The emptiness in my chest divided in two, as though… I don’t even know. The doors slid with a swift sound and my heart rate hit new floors.

I tried to avoid showing any emotion I felt. Seeing them surrounding the long table, all in their daily clothing made it hard to remember. I couldn’t show the happiness of seeing them all right after two years. Nor could I show the excitement deep in my bones seeing Wanda’s face. I couldn’t forget the damage (situation) those high-held beings made to my heart.

I looked at them with a mask of indifference firmly placed.

Wanda was the first to step forwards, as I knew she would. I didn’t expect her to but a part of me screamed how she had been the only real friend through the year I spent in this cage. I resisted the urge to hug her, touch her, and receive the reassurance I so deeply wanted.

“I thought- we thought you were dead.” The revelation shocked me. It felt as though they couldn’t believe I was alive. But I was. The question was… why did they think so?

“Nop. Still kicking.” I replied.

“Unfortunately.” I heard Stark mutter under his breath. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to kick him. I could make him feel a true kick in his brain. And his ass, too.

“Y/n!” A high-pitched voice came from the corner next to me. The smiley face of Pepper Potts came rushing towards me, engulfing me in a hug. My nerve endings shot and I prayed my instinctive responses wouldn’t go through. Fortunately for me, they didn’t. Before I could even think to hold her back—which I wouldn’t have done anyway— she stepped back. Smile intact and a gleam in her eyes capable of illuminating the whole room.

“Jesus. You’ve changed so much!” Her hands settled on my shoulder, holding softly and slightly shaking my shocked frame. “I missed you.” Her vice took a sweet edge and her head lolled to the side. Her eyes scrutinized me with the look of a mother who had just seen her child after a hard year abroad. I resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably out of her grasp. I wasn’t used to this.

“Honey, leave the feral alien alone.” Tony’s voice reached my ears. “We have important matters to discuss.”

“God, Tony. Give us a break. We haven’t seen the kid in two years.” Natasha’s ______ filled the room as I saw her taking steps towards me. I noticed there were no relaxed steps but tense and wary. Her eyes held a sort of apology mixed with caution.

I just stared. Deep inside I didn’t know how to react to someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, someone who betrayed me gets closer. Her body language told me she was sorry but still cautious of my reaction but I didn’t know if I should forgive her. Her right hand stretched towards my frame. I shifted uncomfortably in place, moving slightly away from her.

I saw her eyes roam my body, noticing the discomfort. She came to a halt three feet away from me. Her lips were pursed as she let her head drop for a second. She recovered quickly, extending her same hand towards me, this time to shake my hand.

“It’s good to have you back, Y/n.”

I took her hand in mine, shaking firmly. I nodded my head towards her. My lips pursed. The movement of Wanda’s body caught my eye. She stepped closer to me, her hands nervously trembling beside her big, red jumper.

“Can I hug you?” Hearing those words coming out of her froze the ongoing flow of blood through my veins. I was shocked, to say the least. I bet I looked like a gaping fish as an incomprehensible string of detached words escaped my lips. Everyone else seemed as surprised as I was. For completely different reasons I would bet. As Stark had said, they thought I was a free being.

She waited patiently, probably aware of the shock and ongoing battle I had inside me. She was the only one aware of my thoughts about showing anything besides contempt. And she knew why. But I sent it all to hell and for once, I did what I wanted to do. I nodded.

Her smile was worth enough as she moved quickly towards me, as though worried I would change my opinion. Her thin arms wrapped around my neck, my lack of height apparent as my 5’1 ass reached her shoulders. I resisted the urge to cry as I wrapped my arms around her back, relishing in a familiar face that didn’t hate my only existence.

“I missed you.” It was a whisper, only for me to hear. A small smile escaped my lips as hope blossomed in my chest. Hope that maybe I wasn’t a lost cause. Hope that maybe someday I could have a family.

“I did too, Red.” I murmured back. Careful to not raise my voice as I didn’t want anyone to know anything. I felt oddly vulnerable to be hugging someone let alone hugging someone in front of seven people. I noticed Vision staring and I gave him a subtle nod, a small smile creeping upon my lips. He nodded back with that usual blank expression not in compass with the feelings he harbored. After some time, I let her go before Stark had another remark to make.

I noticed Steve leaning against a far-away table, maybe ten feet away from where I was. His head lowered, eyes on the ground. His arms surrounded his build, hugging himself with a heavy frown on his face. He didn’t want to look towards me and I thought I knew why. He was ashamed of what he did. He was guilty anyway you looked at it. He was guided by Bucky to do everything. He followed the man despite knowing it was wrong. Not because your friend tells you to throw yourself out the window means you’ll do it. He knew full well what was wrong and right. He knew Barnes' proposal was as low as a man could get.

If he didn’t apologize and acknowledge what he did, he was dead to me. I mean, he had tried to apologize that day, but I was devastated and no words came through my anger.

There were a few handshakes and subtle nods here and there before I noticed a presence missing. I looked around for the usual big man with an overinflated sense of heroism but didn’t find him. He was big enough for anyone to spot him. I felt a pang in my chest and a tingle at the back of my head and I knew something was wrong. The air shifted and my hands started trembling slightly.

“Where’s my brother?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky. I tried to compose myself, knowing he had to be alright or I would’ve felt something.

“We don’t know. We couldn’t get a hold of him.” Natasha replied. I noticed the subtle worry etched in her face lines.

Suddenly, I understood that emptiness inside me. That swirling emotion unlatched to an earthy body. One of the connectors inside of me, besides bucky’s, was empty. It didn’t have any energy to connect to.

No.

I didn’t realize I began hyperventilating while the word repeated itself over and over in my head. My chest rose and fell quickly while the air got caught in my throat. My hand shot out to grasp anything in reach I could hold myself up with.

“Y/n?! What’s wrong?” Wanda was the first to step forward and grab my elbow. Her soft touch didn't completely register in my sensory sense. The only thing in my mind was the heavy colorless fog swirling around in my insides.

The worst part was, I didn’t know which of my brothers it belonged to. I thought about them and how long it had been since I had seen them. Since I had been with them.

“Can you all excuse me?” I pulled myself together and without waiting for a response, I hurried across the room. I thought about the me that they just saw but somewhere deep down, I didn’t care.

I hurried, passing Steve's body. This time, he looked intently at me. I didn’t expect him to stand up and grab my shoulders. By this point, my vision was blurry and I tried hard to reconnect with the missing life essence.

“Y/n, I-”

“Can we do this later, Rogers?” I spat, cutting him off before getting my elbow out of his grasp. I left, shuddering and feeling a wave of anger rising in my chest.

What a good way to make a comeback.

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