Had a dream where I was in some dark, but warmly lighted room / short hallway which was wide. In the room was some mutant animal students and I had to play a game with them. It should had been one on one, but it changed when I had to play against purple mutant cat. He was thin and tall, having ability to create balls. However his balls were flat with small rubber spikes and they exploded after a short while after being thrown. He had made a pile of them, in different sizes, at the corner so I had a tote bag where I was collecting them when I spotted him towards me. So I started to threw them, managing to surround him and few other mutants who he had asked to help him to beat me. He knew he couldn’t beat me alone (for a some reason). Those balls exploded with small flash and tiny “pop”, not causing any visible damage. This fight turned to be 5 on 1. It was very unfair to me and so, in the next moment in the dream, I refused to go in the school / in history lesson.
I was, for a some reason, in the same school with these mutants. In the same school was many human children as well. They all were getting along so well! It was nice. But still, feeling like I had been bullied, I didn’t go in history class. Instead I went in empty class room which had one blue iron shelf in the middle of the room. I stood right next to a wall, a female teacher being at the end of the room, looking through the window.
I had a conversation with her loud and clear. I don’t remember how it started, but I eventually told her:
“I don’t want to go to history class.”
I started to sob as I squatted down.
“I have been bullied ever since I went to third grade. (in real life I started to be bullied in fifth grade) In my old school I was bullied by the kids and the teacher who also was the headmaster of the school.”
She was silent a moment, clearly feeling bad for me.
“So I will skip the class.”
“That’s fine. You know none has never done that, but we are flexible.” Then she added something like it wouldn’t affect on my school papers etc. if I skipped the history classes, but at the same time she tried, a little bit, to encourage me to go in them. I refused and she accepted it.
“Is your phone ringing?”
I wasn’t sure since I was still in tears and very upset of my shitty childhood past in school, for being bullied for 5 years.
“I don’t know.” I whispered, saying something else to it.
“No.” She insisted. “It is your phone.”
I kept hearing Rise Leo’s voice as my ringtone so it confused me. Eventually I went in this small room inside this class room, finding 3 round carpets on top of it each other. Smaller was on top, middle sized was in the middle and bigger was at the bottom. They all had round white, reflector like, centers which had the “light on”. They were bright as long as those carpets get making the sound of my phone. They “shut down” when I picked smallest carpet up, it turning to be a phone.
I lifted it on my ear as I answered after hesitation. I am not sure but I BET it was Rise Leo calling me! He was in the history class with some female students, they all appeared to be my friends. He asked where I was and I just told him I’m not coming. He knew why. But still he went on. He said:
“But the teenagers are not bad. Like the teenagers at the money automaton are not bad either.”
I was silent a moment, realizing in this part of the dream that it was a dream and it was about me and my real life past. That I was over 30 years old now, not a teenager anymore. Still I said to him:
“To me the teenagers at the automaton are not the issue. I was being bullied. I am not coming back in the class.”
I kept saying something else to him with very firm voice for sure but I don’t remember it anymore.
After this Leonardo fell silent, but he never disconnected the call. I knew he was holding the phone on his ear slit as I got a vision that he, with the girl students, were watching the map with some weird digital device. They were looking for me. I was part of group 2, just like them, so I lived in an area where every building had a mark 2 on them. Schools, markets, library, everything had a mark 2 on them so only group 2 students were allowed to use them and be there.
During the phone call I had ended up outside so I was walking on the streets, entering in one school building while trying to figure out where I could go and hide. I didn’t want them to find me. I wanted to be alone. I was too raw about everything.
I then decided I would go in the area where I saw big white market earlier. It had numbers 2 and 5 on it so groups from number 5 were allowed there so I, hopefully, could go with them.
Tho I woke up when I realized, in real world, that a tear was running down on my temple from my right eye.
And after waking up, still keeping my eyes closed, first thing in my mind was few lyrics from Suwabe Junichi’s song. I don’t know the song’s name, but the lyrics were; “Realize ~ Mission ~ “ and then some Japanese words after it what I won’t even try to write :’D
But I also realized that because the dream was about history, about me and me being bullied. Yes, it has something to do with me and the real bullying I went through in my life. I know I’m going through a time of deep, deep healing mentally and emotionally so this fits very well on that.
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WHAT THE FUCK? TMNT ZOOPHILIA?
I just felt terrible attacked by a man saying that MUTANT NINJA TURTLES love and NSFW is sick and a disorder, an excuse and a door for zoophilia. He is into The Smiths and likes Morrissey, probably conservative but never shown, he even said that Morrissey said that Madonna is nothing but o hoe ( wouldn't it be better if she was a man, I bet they would never say such words), I, for the first time in my life became ...speechless!
It felt like a knife and a very bad feeling crawling inside of me, anguish and pain, he said they are teenagers but you rather say they are not, I should have said its imagination, art, and a big part of me that believes I'm just like them, a mutant, a hybrid being, not sure if I belong into this world, so much pain and lies that I rather believe in an imaginary world where Mutants are NOT irrational animals, they are fully conscious and aware of everything, good enough to be friends, to save the world but not to love...I am an adapter but I just can't swallow that jagged little pill.
Besides I LOVE animals so fucking much that made me feel like i wanted to vomit, and its been a long time since I felt that. Damn!!!! is torturing me.
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