#(very Very attached)(like codependent levels) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

teddybeartoji · 11 days

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thinking a lot of thoughts about bf!gojo :(

he will be the sweetest bf ever.. it's a bit concerning with how attached he is to you, bordering on codependency but he just cant help it he loves you too much :(( everytime youre both together on something like lunch with friends or hanging out the sight of you two is enough to give anyone who spares a glance cavities.. his eyes are so in love and hes always got that dopey smile on his face, his touch is always gentle and caring despite him being a teasing asshole sometimes 😭

and behind closed doors ... dear god this man is INSATIABLE.. always has to have a hand around you and touching you !!!! and his sex drive.. erm.. yeah.. idk i see him as the type to want to do it everyday because he just loves you too much and he doesnt know what to do with himself and all this love he has !!!! theres something sweet about him just always wanting you and wanting to make you feel good eufnhffhehrjfnf

the stark difference between you two being such a sweet couple in public but also .. having seen each other INSIDE OUT quite literally is so hot and cute.. :( that level of intimacy .. :((( BF!GOJO WE NEED YOU !!!!!! ok this has gotten too long im sorry HAVE A GOOD DAY THANK YOU

HIIII MY SWEETHEART I'M SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! BUT I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE!!!!! I'M HERE AND I'M FEELING TERRIBLY SOFT FOR HIM AND I NEED TO HAVE HIM IN MY ARMS RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!!! i agree with everything you've said nonnie!!!! and i am covering you in kisses as thanks!!!! mwah mwah mwah!!!! wait also!!!!!!!!!!!! more exclamation marks!!!!!! please please please don't apologize for rambling!!!!!!!!!! i will always hear you out!!!!! i want more actually!!!!!!!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok everybody get comfortable bc i have some of bf!gojo headcanons for you!!!!

his pupils are literal hearts whenever he's with and whenever he's Thinking about you!!!! (i'm saying that his pupils are always like that)(he is simply unable to get you off his head)(he's not even trying)(he's so fucking in love with you).

he's constantly resting his head on your head or on your shoulder. this just came to me. he wraps his hands around your middle and he always gives you a squeeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a kiss on your neck. and he probably (read: definitely) smells you. and then hums into your skin. omfg i need to hug him so badly. i am losing my mind here nonnie...

okay and i just talked abt him taking naps with you too, right? and i just can't stop thinking about him always taking pics of you whenever you fall asleep on top of him:(((((((((((((( drooling or not, he's taking the pic!!!!!! AND i truly believe that he has begged (literally begged down on his hands and knees) shoko and suguru, so that they'll take pics of the two of you together aswell!!! satoru has a folder with like a THOUSAND pics of you both just napping together:((( he goes through it whenever he's really missing you:(((((((

ok and he loves taking showers and baths with you. loves, loves, loves. he just wants to sit under or in the water with you, just feeling your skin against him. feeling your heartbeat against him. he likes the intimacy of it all. it's so tender and so soft and so loving and he just wants to do everything with you. he's gonna take a fucking piss with you if you'd only let him.

he loves your smile sm. this is such a basic little concept but he does. nothing else in this sick world brings him as much joy as your smile and laughter. and oh my fucking god his heart feels like it's going to explode whenever he makes you laugh (which is all the time let's be honest he's very fucking funny and he is not afraid of making himself look like a fool just for you<3). he loves it when you laugh at cat videos, he loves it when you laugh at whatever the fuck is playing on the tv and he loves it when you laugh at a joke one of his friends make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he goes a little insane whenever he sees you having fun with his friends:((((((((((((((((((((( it just means the world to him:(((( and you and the younger ones too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg when he sees you coddling gumi and yuuji and nobara:((((((((((((((((( stop, he literally feels like he's going to cry every time i am also crying i can't do this anymore

btw he always swings your hands whenever his fingers are interwiened with yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhh!!!!!!! and he has that big dopey smile on his lips again and his dimples are showing and he's laughing so loudly that everybody is turning to look at you both on the street but you couldn't care any less!!!!!!! how could you when your boyfriend is making your heart grow twice the size it was before and you just feel so giddy and so full of love and you want to kiss him stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he loves spending his morning with you. i actually think of him as more of a morning person actually idk how popular that concept is but yeah. don't get me wrong - he refuses to let you up from the bed for at least an hour after you wake up but he does have a lot of energy. he wants to kiss and he wants to hug and he wants to tickle and he wants you to play with his hair and he wants and he wants and he wants and you will give and give and give!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's a little lovesick puppy and he needs your attention like he needs air!!!!!

and then he wants you to brush his teeth for him. yes. you read that right. he sits you down onto the bathroom counter and bares his teeth at you like the puppy that he is and HE'S SO FUCKING CUTEEEEEE FUCKKKK CUTENESS AGGRESSION IS SO REAL I NEED TO JUST SQUEEZE HIM A LITTLE AAAAAAAAAAA I NEED TO PINCH HIS CHEEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!! he still looks sleepy and his smile is so fucking big and his hands are resting on your hips, his thumbs are drawing hearts into your skin. and he most definitely kisses you before he actually rinses his mouth.............. and then laughs when the toothpaste gets all over you. it's a mess and he's laughing and you're in love.

he loves it when you baby him. he does ask for it as a joke but when you genuinely do it he gets a little flustered. the tips of his ears always turn into a shade of dark pink and he's looking at you like puss in boots. you know what i'm talking abt. big eyes, fluttering eyelashes - he loves you so fucking much. he loves it when you tuck him in bed, he loves it when you kiss his nose, he loves it when you pinch his cheeks i am biased i just said i want to do that don't look at me, he loves it when you tickle him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT STOP HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU TICKLE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! HE WANTS YOU TO STRADDLE HIM AND TICKLE THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF HIM HE WANTS TO LAUGH WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i died

he also loves it when you cling to him. in any way. hands around his neck, around his body, around his arms - it does not matter. he wants you to quite literally climb him like a tree. he loves it when you snuggle into him and when you refuse to let him go. and when you hold his hand and try to stop him from leaving. he's not going to go. it doesn't take a lot for him to give into you. he's folding immediately. he doesn't want to go either. he loves it when you're needy. he loves it when you whine. he loves it when you tease him. he might pop a boner. at everything you do. he just loves you sooooooooooo muchh!!

18+ HE IS INSATIABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS THEE LOVERBOY!!!!!! i think he does like to get a taste of you every single day, no matter whether it's actually having sex or it's eating you out or it's just making out or it's entertaining you with his beautiful slender fingers or it's dry humping etcetcetc. he wants to touch you, he wants to feel you - it's a must!!

i already said it but he loves intimacy!!!! like yeah ofc he likes his freaky sex as much as the next guy (he most definitely likes it more than the next guy) but he loooooves when he can just be in the moment with you!! he's always savouring you - holding your hand when his burying his dick deep inside you, he's snaking his arm around your body as he grinds into you from behind. he's licking and nipping at your skin because he just can't get enough of you. he's sucking on your tongue, he's pressing your hips down against his, he's kissing every fucking inch of your body. i truly think he wants to eat you and he wants to devour you and he wants to merge the two of you together forever<33

okay i have officially melted away... i am a puddle of love Goo... ily nonnie

#WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #HE'S SOOOO SWEET:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((#I AM FEELING SOOOOO SOFT ABT HIM RN:(((((((((((((#MY BABY MY LOVE MY DEAREST OF THEM ALL #ok didn't mean to make that rhyme but go off ig #i luv him i luv him i luv him #i want to kiss him i want to cuddle him i want to live with him i want to spend every second of my life with him i'm fine #mickey is daydreaming #angel boy #gojo satoru #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo headcanons #gojo fluff #bf!gojo

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hitlikehammers · 2 months

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whole wide world

rating: t ♥️ cw: criminal-levels of softness, rockstar!Eddie, teacher! Steve, gooey-clingy-heart-eyes Eddie needs his Stevie ♥️ tags: established relationship, rockstar!eddie, teacher!steve, rockstar husbands, amateur musicals, steve needs to stop using a ladder unsupervised because nothing bad happened this time but eddie is concerned that is the love of his life, soul-deep love, slice of life, softness

for @steddielovemonth day thirteen: Love is showing up when someone doesn’t ask ❤️ (@steddieas-shegoes)

look who's back, just like every other day, it's the rockstar husbands from je ne regrette rien being their codependent, desperately-in-love selves again! ♥️

“Goddamnit,” Steve curses the staple gun, the dry-rotted wood he’s trying to use it on, the acrylic-covered tarp masquerading as a backdrop leaving little crackle-dust everywhere every single time it fucking falls because the wood’s shit, the staples are shit, his co-advisor’s kid’s sick with the flu, the kids are in the band room rehearsing the opening number and Steve really cannot fucking believe he got roped into this to begin with, actually, like, how the fuck did the middle school guidance-counselor-slash-study-hall-monitor get conned into helping with the high school drama club, just because one of his JV soccer players landed the lead and bemoaned loudly enough during laps how they didn’t know if they’d be able to make the performance even work, because the choir teacher’s on maternity leave and the band director’s kind of a dick, and the needed more help—

Steve only is even in the high school for the goddamn athletics office. For, y’know, the equipments for the athletes.

Yet: here he is. Standing on a rusty fucking ladder that probably needs a spotter, to be honest, and if Steve’s admitting that then yeah, it definitely needs someone holding the goddamn thing, but here he is, already two hours after the final bell, trying to stick a painting of mattressesin a stack that only vaguely looks like mattresses so thank god that’s in the show title—

The ladder wobbles a little when he tries to catch the tarp-thing again but he can’t reach far enough without risking a long way down to a very hard stage floor, so the backdrop’s sacrificed back to the ground—a-fucking-gain—as he shifts his weight to steady the steps and it’s a close thing, he’s about ninety-seven percent sure he’s aimed the teetering feet of it back to solid ground okay but he glances around quick just in case, tries to figure if there’s anything he can grab for and let the ladder go on its own if need-be, and—

“That’s fucking dangerous, big boy,” a deep, and deeply unexpected, voice trails up from the floor, clipped with stress, with fear because Steve fucking knows that voice, and the ladder’s suddenly fully steady so he can turn and look and—

“Gonna give me a goddamn stroke or something, finding you up on one of these all by your lonesome,” Eddie’s staring up at him, and the words could be teasing, and Steve thinks maybe they intend to be, but: those eyes are too big. There’s a pulse Steve can count in that throat, even from seven-feet-up.

So he does what any man in love with his husband would do in the face of said-husband in fear, and for him: Steve climbs down careful, but quick, with Eddie’s hands scrambling to make sure of the ‘careful’ part as soon as he can reach, and then he turns, and then he lands on solid ground again to pull Eddie in and thank every colleague of his he’d been cursing in his mind for leaving him alone to do all this shit, because alone is the reason he gets to kiss his lover hard, and full; wrap around him and let him squeeze Steve to the point where it aches, where it creaks in his bones, like proof.

Lets Eddie attach his lips to suck a bruise, possessive and needy and protective all at once along his throat, and yeah:

Exactly like proof.

“What are you doing here?” Steve asks when they pull apart just the slightest bit, because he wasn’t expecting Eddie to be home until probably close-on to midnight, let alone at the school well before five.

“Thought you could maybe use an extra set of hands,” Eddie shrugs like it’s a casual thing, showing up just to help out when he’s on a press cycle, and it’s evident even in his attire that that’s the case, if you know what to look for: more chains from his jeans, thicker soles on his boots just flirting with being platforms, at least two rings on every finger—save just one.

One has a ring, and a carefully-preserved and repeatedly-reinforced bread-bag tie: both serving the same purpose in very different points in their lives.

Point being: Eddie was wading through photoshoots and magazine spreads and radio spots and every fucking thing, and no matter how high he’s raising his eyebrow in a clear calling out of how he found Steve atop a shaky ladder as being obvious evidence of having use of an extra set of hands, the fact remains:

“But you’ve got the interview—“ the big ass interview with that shock-jock guy Steve kinda hates, but that’s a big fucking deal, and was the precise reason Steve wasn’t lamenting giving up his afternoon and evening to the at-least-halfway-to-lost-cause of the not-even-an-actual-full-fledged-theatre department: he wasn’t going to have Eddie home before bed anyway.

And yet: here stands the man.

“The boys have got it,” Eddie shrugs, like he actually doesn’t give a shit, and that’s…he does give a shit, he had sounded excited about it last night when they’d talked about their plans for the week over dinner, when Steve had bemoaned the travesty of this fucking production of Once Upon A Boxspring or whatever, and Eddie’d told him he was pretty sure he was going to be able to say fuck on the show even if they’d edit it, like he wouldn’t get in trouble, and he’d looked like a kid in a goddamn candy shop about it so yeah: Steve thinks he kinda did give a shit.

But he’s…not there.

“Gareth’s been itching to take the reins after he won out the final track list,” Eddie offers as explanation; “cocky bastard.”

And they collaborate on all the writing, music and lyrics, they’re not even the slightest bit competitive about it which would be hard to believe if all you saw of the members of Corroded Coffin were their goddamn shenanigans during a campaign; but the one think in their music that they docompete over?

Whose title-idea gets the opener on a given album. And Gareth did end up scooping them all when the execs came back with a shuffle. Steve had watched it unfold in real time; he doesn’t think he’s ever heard a grown man crow like Gareth had, and he is married to Edward fucking Munson.

So that’s saying something.

“Eds,” Steve tries to prod a little at the point of it all though, because Eddie’s got press, and this is a high school, and probably Eddie could get to the studio in time to catch the end of whatever, it’s prerecorded, he knows that much, they could squeeze a live interview in so they could probably do Eddie at the end and just shuffle it around, right, it’s easy, and that’s so much more important than this because this:

“Eds, it’s just a—“

“It’s the spring musical, baby,” Eddie says like he’s announcing the arrival of the president, of the Queen of England, then his eyes soften a little as he flicks at one of the real mattresses that will, presumably, be props for the actors if the show’s title isn’t a fucking lie: “you know that’s where my DM throne had its humble origins, before I elevated it to greatness?”

Steve did know that, not least because they’d smuggled Eddie in to DM a few special sessions before the gremlins graduated, and he’d taken his seat with regal aplomb every time, and Steve had learned that yeah, they used the random storage room that was mostly drama shit for Hellfire.

And the way he’d learned that was by sucking Eddie off hidden by some very ratty but very conveniently poofy ballgowns from a production of Cinderella.

“I missed you.”

Steve turns to him and blinks; Eddie’s eyes are on the mattress, his stance almost a little shy.

“You saw me this morning,” Steve doesn’t ask, exactly, but he…he’s not sure he’s following, is the thing.

“I was,” Eddie sighs, and flops to sit down on the mattress which, thankfully, is a mattress and gives a little, bounces under him.

“I was just feeling, I dunno,” he gives a shrug that fades into something like a shiver, and then Eddie’s arms come around too hug around his middle as he ducks his chin and, oh no.

None of that.

“I thought about you being, you know, you,” and Eddie gets to gesture at the mess of the stage only halfway before Steve’s catching his hand, lacing their fingers and pulling Eddie back up to standing, then back into Steve’s arms here he leans heavy, sighs deeper this time; relief instead of something shallow.

“Just you doing all this when you don’t even have a horse in the race, y’know?” Eddie muffles into the side of Steve’s neck, burrowed in tight. “And I was supposed to be in the zone about press and shit, and it just,” he shakes his head, which is more like the brush of his lips back and forth against Steve’s skin; “it wasn’t clicking at all, like I posed and did the looks and whatever,” and oh, Steve knows the looks, Steve has about half those looks printed out and framed in various parts of their home or tucked safe inside his wallet, whereas the other half he takes great joy in recreating at random to the chagrin of his darling husband, love of his whole goddamn life.

“Then Jeff asked if I wanted to duck out,” and Eddie smiles up at him, a little sheepish; they both know the boys can see right through Eddie feeling needy, or lovelorn; Steve’s grateful as shit for Eddie’s bandmates, their friends, for knowing when Eddie just needs Steve.

“I didn’t even think twice, just,” Eddie swallows hard, a little, peeking up through lashes and bangs as he exhales:

“Just wanted to see you before the middle of the fucking night.”

And what can Steve do in the face of that, really? He can’t argue it. Wouldn’t ever fucking want to.

“I love you,” he frames Eddie’s face and kiss the bridge of his nose, then soft between his brows as he breathes out with his whole heart: “so goddamn much.”

“Can you promise me you won’t do the,” Eddie tips his head behind them; “the ladder thing, at least not by yourself?” And Eddie’s eyes are so, so big again. “Like, pretty please, don’t do that again?”

“I won’t,” Steve swears it, and kisses him firm to seal the promise: “thanks for coming to the rescue.” Because there was a three percent chance Steve was going to wipe the fuck out from very very high, and he’s have survived it, but he’s not twenty anymore, and it would have fucking sucked, probably for a while.

“Always, baby,” Eddie murmurs, still tight against Steve lips before he straightens a little, and this time he’s framing Steve’s face, but more holding him still in place, emphatic:

“Actually, amendment,” he says seriously, eyes darting between Steve’s a tiny-touch frantic: “next time you need to be on a ladder, you call me first,” he damn-well declares it, rather than asks; “so I can hold it steady.”

“My hero,” Steve breathes against him with a smile, and there’s not even a hint of teasing in it.

“I don’t trust any other hands to catch you, baby,” Eddie tells him, a little too raw; full sincerity bleeding from him all the sudden as he caresses down the cheeks he’s still cupping: “no one else in the whole wide world appreciates what you’re worth.”

“And what’s that, exactly,” Steve scoffs a little, playful where he’s held in Eddie’s arms but Eddie: Eddie’s holding him tight, now, and his heartbeat’s heavy where he’s moving to crush Steve to his chest, and there’s a little wavering pitch of something in his voice when he whispers:

“The whole wide world,” and oh.

That’s the answer.

It’s Steve’s answer, too, to the same exact question, but hearing it said so plain never stops feeling like the ending and remaking of the whole wide world, every time.

So yeah, Steve has to take a minute to swallow through the tightness in his throat, and maybe he does that with his forehead bowed against his husbands so they breathe each other in as a rule just in the course of living in the moment, together—and when the straighten up Steve steals a kiss first, quick but hard, with feeling, before he cracks his neck and sighs, taking in the scene that’s settled around them.

“Help me try and figure this out to hang?” Steve kicks at the tarp-tapestry, and Eddie walks its perimeter critically before frowning up at Steve.

“Think it needs some touch ups,” he pronounces solemnly, and fuck, yeah, all the color-dust from the useless staple-holes and the falling. But his husband’s actually really good with details, and matching colors, and using a brush, and fantasy settings—

“Paint’s in the back,” he says with a lilt of suggestion and Eddie lights up and grabs Steve’s hand to drag him toward the promise of painting, like maybe all he needed really was just…this.

tag list (comment to be added): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson

♥️

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raine-kai · 7 months

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How Much Ace Loved Luffy (and so does Sabo, but this is mostly about Ace)

I have been suffering from the worst One Piece brainrot. Seriously, I cannot think about anything else without bring it back to One Piece, which is particularly unfortunate this month when my schedule is completely nuts.

(A few days ago, I was reading a scientific paper and I saw the word "doctrine" and went "omg Dr. Kureha??? Why is this paper mentioning One Piece?"—it's that bad.)

The thing I have been thinking about the most is Luffy's relationship with his brothers.

First off, I would like to say that I vehemently disagree with the take that Sabo is just Ace 2.0. While the relay of their stories can make them feel that way on an emotional level, exacerbated by Sabo succeeding Ace with the flame-flame fruit powers, I think Oda has done an excellent job showing that they are very distinct not only in personality, but in their relationships with Luffy.

Ace was always the first brother.

He's the one who knows Garp just as well as Luffy. He's the one introduced to Luffy through Garp. He's the one Luffy initially attaches himself to. He's the one who was there all through Luffy's childhood and adolescence, who can do a handstand on Luffy's head with no explanation, knowing that Luffy can hold him and knowing that Luffy will understand exactly what he is telling Luffy to do.

Ace was also always the most self-deprecating brother. When he was arrested, his first and only request was that nobody tell Luffy about it. When talking to Jinbei, he tells him that he would have worried Luffy couldn't live without him, but having seen his crew, he knows that Luffy will be okay.

When Luffy hears that Ace is in trouble, his first reaction is that Ace has his own adventures, and that Ace will be angry if he drops everything to chase after Ace. But when he is told that Ace is in Impel Down and his execution day is already scheduled, he drops everything, including reuniting with his crew, to sneak into the highest security prison in the world to try to break out his brother.

Meanwhile, Sabo is the kind brother.

If Ace was aware of how codependent Luffy was with him and tried to utilize tough love to push Luffy away, he's also always been the most inclined to bicker and trade mockery and insults with Luffy. Meanwhile, Sabo has always been more inclined to be concerned for Luffy, and use positive reinforcement to help Luffy improve. When Ace and Luffy were at odds, Sabo was often the mediator.

Sabo and Ace have known each other longer than either of them has known Luffy, but their relationship as brothers exists because of Luffy. As Sabo pointed out in his farewell letter to Ace, they never even defined what kind of brother they were (a thing that has more significance in Japanese, where big brother/younger brother are terms far more common than the neutral "kyoudai", which translates to elder-brother-younger-brother, and can often denote a non-blood relationship).

Luffy is their crybaby weakling baby brother, and they are both willing to throw everything aside if they are worried that Luffy might be in trouble. Not once in the story have Ace or Sabo showed up without stepping in to rescue Luffy somehow.

But today, the rescue that sticks in my brain is the most painful one of all: the death of Portgas D. Ace.

In a world full of people who exposit about the honor and dignity of a death with a back unmarked by scars, Ace dies with his back to Akainu, whose fist goes right through the tattoo proclaiming Ace's loyalty to Whitebeard.

Whitebeard's significance in Ace's life was huge.

With Ace's anger issues rooted in a childhood of being told he should never have existed, his arc is about learning that yes, he deserved to exist—he deserved to live.

And while Luffy's love, Luffy declaring how much he needed Ace, provided something of a salvation, some kind of purpose, it was not enough. Because Ace was trying to teach Luffy to be self-sufficient—was trying to help him to grow up into a man who wouldn't need Ace. Even at the very end, as he thanks Luffy for loving him, he describes himself with self-deprecation.

Being needed wasn't enough. Ace needed Whitebeard, because he needed a parent figure whom he could believe loved him, for whom he was enough. His relationship with Dadan was too utilitarian: he brought her food, and she let him stick around. His relationship with Garp was too marked with the conflict born of Garp's stated wish for Ace and Luffy to become marines. Whitebeard was the first person to embrace Ace exactly as he was and call him his son, and never expect him to be or do anything else.

Ace is genuinely surprised at the war that is waged to save his life.

Not only does he not expect Luffy to show up, he doesn't even expect Whitebeard to show up.

Regarding Whitebeard, Ace sees his actions as his own failure. He did not listen when Whitebeard told him to let Blackbeard go. His own failure to heed his father's cautionary words should not be cause for his father to wage war on the marine headquarters, he thinks.

But when Luffy turns up, Ace shouts at him—exactly as Luffy had predicted. He demands to know what Luffy thinks he's doing, weakling that he is. That Ace has his own adventures and his own pirate crew, and he doesn't need Luffy to come too.

"I'm your little brother," says Luffy in response, and I always start tearing up at that line, in manga or anime.

As far as Luffy is concerned, losing Ace is not an option.

And that one line is all it takes to make Ace back off. To remember that yes—Luffy is still his little brother, though they each have their own crews now.

The Marineford War is so full of moments where Luffy shows himself to be capable of so much more than anybody expected was possible.

But of course we all know how it ends. Luffy is the one to free Ace, but he's also the one who doesn't notice how vulnerable he is to the charging Akainu.

And Ace takes the blow intended for Luffy with his back—right in the tattoo declaring his alliance to Whitebeard.

I can't stop thinking about the significance of this.

All Ace had ever been searching for—family, belonging, purpose, acknowledgement that he was wanted—he got from Whitebeard, who was his parent in a way that nobody ever was, breaking through his insecurities about his parentage in a way that surely only got through to Ace because Whitebeard is someone who personally knew Roger. In a world without Luffy, Whitebeard and his crew would have been Ace's salvation.

But we don't live in that world. We don't know if Ace would have made it long enough to join Whitebeard in a world without Luffy.

What Ace tells us in the way that he shielded Luffy from Akainu was that Luffy was worth more to him than everything he got from Whitebeard and everyone on that crew. That he loved Luffy above and beyond all others.

And he thanked Luffy (and Whitebeard and his crew) for loving him.

I'm sure there has been ample discourse on the significance of these things. I'm pretty sure I've read, if not participated in it. But having circled back here recently, I feel like I'm discovering the significance all anew.

Ace said thank you for loving me and not I love you because he saw more value in being loved than his own love. Surely it would have been more comforting to Luffy to hear that he was loved—but Ace is caught up in the idea that he is demonspawn, not worth existing, much less being loved.

With how much he talks about Luffy to everyone he meets, surely in a world where he did not have cause to question his existence, where he did not grow up knowing that the world wished him dead, he would have been happy to just exist with the brothers he loved. He would not have felt he needed to prove that he deserved to exist.

Meanwhile, though Luffy idealizes pirates from an earlier point in the story, their backstory shows us that Luffy's desire to grow stronger originates in learning how Sabo "died". And Ace supports this narrative that Luffy ought to grow stronger, more self-sufficient.

At Luffy's core is simply love: a desire to hold his loved ones close, to be strong enough to never lose them again.

But he lost Ace anyway.

And Ace just wanted Luffy to be safe—to go on without him. His only regret, he said, was that he wouldn't be around to see the end of Luffy's dream.

Ace, at his core, just wanted to be loved. And he had that, but was not able to accept it, to believe that he deserved it, until the very end.

And isn't that just heartbreaking?

I believe that it was Ace's spirit, realizing Sabo was still alive, who knocked the memory back into him, screaming at him what the hell has he been doing, go protect and support their baby brother.

I believe Ace still lives on in Luffy, who will never stop loving the brother who all but raised him.

But I need to cry about it anyway. Again.

#one piece #portgas d. ace #monkey d. luffy #asl brothers #sabo #marineford

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moonlit-positivity · 4 months

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Healing & Emotional Work Masterlist✨

Hi, my name is Stinky & here's a post introducing myself & my blog✨

Listed below are all individual posts that I have written about my own journey with healing from an abusive childhood✨

As always, take what you like & leave what you don't ✨

Happy healing ☺️

Resources & Coping Skills✨

New To Mental Health? Please Start Here!

How To Find The Right Therapist For You

"Trauma Informed" Therapy vs Other Types of Therapy

What is a Boundary?

How to Recognize When You Need To Set A Boundary

Coping with Flashbacks & Panic Attacks & Overwhelming Feelings

An Introduction to Emotional Regulation

What is Emotional Regulation & Why it's Important (Video)

What is Attachment Theory & Why it's Important (video)

What The Actual Fuck is "Radical Acceptance" and Why Is It So Goddamn Hard (video)

Managing Suicidal Thoughts (shorthand edition)

Tips for Navigating A Crisis Situation

✨Journaling✨: What To Do When You Just Can't Write It Out

How To Stay Organized & Make Your Appointments Through Long Term Dissociation Fogs

An Introduction to Healthy Sexual Boundaries

Feeling 🤬 Destructive? 😤 Healthier Activities for Destructive Tendencies

How to Set Better Goals For Yourself

Facts About Therapy You Might Not Know

Recognizing Abuse: What is Generational Trauma? (Video)

Recognizing Abuse: Trauma Bonding (no, this doesn't mean you bonding with your homies about the same types of trauma y'all share)

Recognizing Abuse: Emotional Takeovers

Recognizing Abuse: Emotional Abuse

Recognizing Abuse: Love vs Control vs Obsession

Recognizing Abuse: Parentification

Recognizing Abuse: Triangulation

Effects of Abuse: PTSD Hypervigilance

Effects of Abuse: Redefining Respect After You've Been Abused

Effects of CSA & SA That Nobody Ever Talks About

Effects of Trauma That Never Get Acknowledged Out Loud

Healing Thoughts: Understanding Grounding & Dissociation on a Deeper Level

Healing Thoughts: How to actually feel ur feelings

Healing Thoughts: How to tolerate being alone with your thoughts

Healing Thoughts: When showering & hygiene is too hard

What the heck is emotional work?✨

Healthier ways to communicate

The root of all healing work (tldr it's ur childhood 🎉)

Attachment theory healing (codependency, enmeshment, & BPD FP attachment)

Attachment & abandonment wounds (BPD FP)

Three short communication tips that can greatly improve your interpersonal relationships

Rejection Sensitivity, Perfectionism, & Abandonment Issues

Am I Being Manipulative? A Checklist of Recognizing Manipulative Behaviors and Taking Accountability

Get To Know The Healing Language ✨

In order to heal you must grieve

What does it mean to "make space" for yourself?

What is "inner child healing"?

How to be kinder with yourself

Unlearn what they taught you

Reframe success & failure (if you have a fear of failure then this one is for you ❤️‍🩹)

Reframe your anger

Reframe the process of moving on

Focus on what you can control

Affirmations & things you need to hear (just trust me)✨

affirmations for reclaiming your voice around authority figures

affirmations for RSD

affirmations for feeling ur feelings

affirmations for self forgiveness

affirmations for healing from childhood trauma

affirmations for healing codependency & attachment (BPD FP)

things I wish I knew before I started healing (part 1)

things I wish I knew before I started healing (part 2)

things I learned while healing

things your inner child needs to hear

you are normal

slow down and take a deep breath

you can move now. you are safe.

I believe you

yes it was that bad

your anger is valid

you need to hear this (trust me)

How to start healing? Start with the truth✨

the very first hard reality you need to face

the second hard reality that's gonna hit you like a train

the third and worst hard reality there is

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Looking forward to updating the list as we grow 🪴

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

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merakiui · 1 year

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Is it ok for some Goldfish mer Riddle though?

It is more than okay!

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, captivity, codependency, mentions of breeding)

Riddle is actually quite well-behaved for a mer in captivity. Unlike the eel twins or the octopus, he’s much more accepting of humans and their interest in him. He tends to show off sometimes, especially if there’s a specific person he wishes to impress and receive praise from. He’s very intelligent and has even managed to pick up a few words and phrases he’s heard during his time in captivity. And he is very particular about his routines! He has each of his days memorized and by some miracle, despite never seeing the clock, he always knows when to wait at the surface for the researchers so they may run their usual examination of him. He seems to get huffy if they’re late, even if by a few minutes.

Though he’s obedient and follows everything the researchers want him to do when signaled, he seems quite lonesome in captivity. On days when he isn’t being seen by anyone, he’ll swim close to the glass, peering out at the lab equipment that waits behind the confines or he’ll swim in circles with a very thoughtful expression on his face. It always looks like he’s thinking through something, and he loves to observe the space that remains outside of his tank.

It isn’t a surprise when you’re assigned to study more of his behavior while also keeping his mood uplifted. You’re known to excel at caring for merfolk, hence why you’re usually assigned troublesome, fussy mers because your colleagues think you’re some sort of “mer whisperer.” Truthfully, you’re just genuine and you know how to connect through patience. On Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays you’ll meet with the octopus to keep him company and study him (though he rarely comes to the surface, which means you usually don diving gear and sink to the bottom. He’s grown accustomed to your visits now and doesn’t seem averse to you anymore, in fact even peering out of his octopus pot in anticipation when he knows of the times you usually arrive). On Wednesdays and Thursdays, you meet with the twins to keep them company. Though since they have each other, they’re a lot less dejected about captivity. They make for very mischievous playmates. You love studying their behaviors and how they interact with each other, with you, and with other researchers.

Now that your Fridays and Saturdays have been dedicated to seeing Riddle, you’ve decided to take a different approach. With the octopus and twins, there’s a certain level of caution you exercise due to their sizes and the fact that they are still known as predators from the deep sea. But with Riddle, who is much smaller and was found in a warmer, brighter freshwater habitat, he’s considerably more docile and social. He doesn’t exactly warm up to you at first, as your appearance disturbs his routine—his carefully crafted schedules that are so very important to him. He acts as if that breaks some horrible rule when you first arrive and introduce yourself, looking so horrified and confused that his expression shifts through various feelings all at once. But when you make it clear that you’re to be a recurring figure in his schedules, he relaxes and offers his webbed hand in greeting, mirroring the handshakes he’s watched the researchers do.

Riddle is very charming. He learns very quickly throughout the time he spends with you and the time spent observing other humans. He’s trying to teach himself more words so that he can converse with you, which has led him to insist upon communicating verbally rather than through actions or gestures so that he can better understand. Much like the octopus, he grows attached rather quickly and seems to be very receptive to praise of any kind, whether it be a reward or a proud gesture.

Riddle feels like his meetings with you take far too long to arrive and they always feel so fleeting. How time can pass so quickly when he’s with you but draw out forever while he’s waiting to see you is simply unfair. He tries to keep you longer, obviously desperate to remain in your company, but you can never stay for too long. Sometimes you’ll go over the allotted time and Riddle’s so very pleased when you say you’ll stay for a while longer. He does everything you ask of him, and he never causes any troubles. He doesn’t try to escape from his enclosure, he doesn’t splash any of the researchers (unless agitated), and he’s always been so cooperative. He’s a perfect, model mer! Surely you’ll continue to stay if he continues to follow the rules.

Even though he does very well on his own, he depends on you a lot. At first it was for learning purposes. He’d request materials to look at, such as textbooks, picture books, or certain objects he’d either heard of or seen while in captivity, and you would always be sure to bring them. And while he still relies on you for that, he also relies on you for company and affection and connection. He spirals into codependency so quickly that it takes you by surprise. Riddle has never gotten violent or temperamental with you or any of the researchers, but when you attempt to leave him one day and he grabs your wrist so tightly and yanks you into the enclosure with so much desperation it makes you realize he’s starting to pick up unhealthy mannerisms. The octopus and the twins have been like this before. Once, he trapped you in his octopus pot, folding himself around you to keep you there with him even though your oxygen tank’s supply was dwindling. And the twins had trapped you in an endless game of chase when they’d pulled you in and wouldn’t let you climb back out, insisting on playing with you until you could no longer keep yourself afloat due to sheer exhaustion. Perhaps you’ve kept your guard lowered around Riddle solely because he never posed any threat to you.

And he still doesn’t. In fact, when he has you in the water with him he doesn’t seem to know what to do. He looks absolutely saddened and scared and confused all at the same time, and he’s holding your arms so gently as he peers at you. But he seems to realize something and he’s quick to bring you back to the surface, pushing you towards the ledge so that you may climb out. He looks conflicted when you do this, his hand outstretched as if he expects you to grab it. Instead, you gently touch his palm and promise that you’ll be back next week. Poor Riddle is so ashamed with himself because he’s broken a rule, but he couldn’t help it. He wants you to stay so much. He misses you immensely in the days leading up to your scheduled arrival and almost doesn’t have the motivation to follow his other routines. But he focuses on those so that he won’t have to think of how lonely he is without you, as the familiarity and logical nature of a routine makes for a good distraction.

Riddle would never hurt you. He cares too much for you, almost to an obsessive degree. When you visit him next and your hand is wrapped in bandages and you offhandedly, casually mention one of the twins got you he frets over the injured area with a displeased frown and a dark look. He cradles your hand in his webbed ones, pressing it against his cheek and just holding it there. It’s a very endearing gesture. You wonder where he’s learned that.

For a while, you never had any problems with Riddle, aside from his usual desperation to get you to stay. No matter how hard he tries to keep you, he always lets you go. It seems he can’t bring himself to break the unspoken rules that have been put in place ever since you met him. Although things are a little different when breeding season is upon him. All merfolk act differently during this time; it’s an important moment in their lives. You’ve always avoided the octopus and twins when they were going through their cycles. The researchers would usually provide them with something to use to make up for the lack of a mate: an inflatable or molded silicone that was safe for them to use. It was too risky and dangerous to study them up close when they were so hyper-focused on breeding, and any cameras that may have been installed in advance for that purpose had been found and destroyed by both the octopus and the twins.

But Riddle is not as destructive or volatile as they usually are. In fact, as unfocused as he is, he’s actually more restless than violent or protective. He presses himself against the glass in hopes of seeing you, staying there for hours on end with his pupils blown wide. He remains perfectly still and even curls up at the very bottom to watch through the shadows. He never does anything to resolve the heat that overwhelms him, and if he does no one sees it. He becomes very private and subdued the deeper into his cycle he gets. You don’t visit him because, as kind and gentle as he is, he’s still a creature so uniquely different from humans, and all merfolk usually act rashly when in the throes of their natural biology.

Though if you had, he would have still treated you how he usually does. Riddle thinks of you and it helps get him through the unbearable. He wishes you’d visit. He wishes you were here with him. He wishes he could press himself against you and feel your delightfully human warmth. He wishes he could see you every day of the week, listen to your voice, touch your hands…

He resolves to have you during his next cycle, even if he has to break a few rules to achieve that.

#twisted chit chat #yandere twst #goldfishie <3 oh how i love him #now consider mer rollo >:)#i wonder what type of mer he would be #maybe something like an anglerfish or a jellyfish

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aftg-rot · 13 days

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Andrew Minyard and Obsession ~

I have been having some thoughts about Andrew and his unhealthily intense protective nature over Kevin, and then Neil. His compulsive desire to be the keepers of Aaron and Nicky can be characterised - not entirely, but mostly - by the hyperfixation on finding family after being in the foster system for so long, but the possessiveness to the point of obsession with Kevin, and ultimately with Neil, is different. As Neil says when he was assigned to look after Kevin while Andrew was away, it is possible to do so without becoming his shadow. Neil was realistically achieving the same goals as Andrew, without being with Kevin 24/7.

Because Andrew himself does not seem to have any hobbies, creative outlets or interests that are notable, I like the idea that the intensity in which he follows Kevin and Neil around is his way out of his version of the mundane. Their intense dedication towards many things is enough to break his apathy towards everything. It could be a coincidence that for both Kevin and Neil, and in turn Andrew, it is Exy. In another time and space, it could have been two different things for the two boys. Possibly, in reality Kevin and Neil are right and there is no way that Andrew can be that good at something without having some form of fascination with the sport he "does not care about." But the main factor is that both of them WANT something. They have a deep and contagious passion, they have an underlying drive for their feelings and actions, something Andrew does not have.

Andrew, whether it is a lingering result of the medication, a trauma response, or simply who he is as a person, feels he cannot connect on any level with anyone else. The only connection he has with Aaron and Nicky is their family relationship, and shared history, but aside from that there is no emotional bond or healthy attachment. Andrew has latched onto Kevin and Neil's want and drive because it was a nice reprieve from the indifference, or a subtle lesson in what wanting and needing feels like.

Falling for Neil and "wanting" him was probably the first developed emotional connection that Andrew had felt in a long time, with only Kevin's obsessive drive for Exy being a suitable substitute. Andrew's insulting of Neil every time he shows his true single mindedness towards Exy is very rarely said with malice, because deep down, Andrew either appreciates Neil's skill to remain driven during times of trauma, or is envious of both Neil and Kevin's ability to have such a force in their lives that makes it worth something.

It is mentioned that Neil offers Andrew his obsession to hold Andrew over until he finds one of his own, but I really think that is what happens. But not just his obsession with Exy, but both Kevin and Neil's ability to persevere and connect with other people, in both positive and negative ways despite what has happened to them. Andrew's codependent way of interacting with specific people is his way of attempting to fit in with the world around him emotionally, and co-opting his closest relationships' interests and obsessions is a method of connecting in an interpersonal way.

#here is my first lil essay which i wrote while making notes for my podcast #i have a VERY bias opinion of these boys especially bc myself i struggle immensely with finding things to be interested in and often fixate #on people and their obsessions #but i just think its interesting how kevins interest is exy and neils is kevin and exy and andrews is neil and kevin and as a result its ex #so this is essay one be nice to me pls im sensitive #mine #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #the foxhole court #nora sakavic #andreil #kevin day #text #aftg discussion #my essay

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limarieb · 7 months

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wanda maximoff headcanons [01]

Warnings: brief mention of loss (it is canon compliant…), brief mention of internalized homophobia

A/N: these headcanons are canon-compliant and are independent of my one-shots and such. please let me know if you want more of my headcanons (compliant or non-compliant) thru this link — i have so many lol.

Main Masterlist | ao3 | Wattpad

…

when you first meet her, it was after coming home from the fallout in Sokovia. the two of you never crossed paths on the ground, but you knew she was powerful from the burst of energy you felt when Pietro had fallen (you did not know this until later, though).

you hesitated on introducing yourself and trying to get to know her at first. part of you wanted to give her space, given the course of recent events, but the other part of you could not help but be utterly fascinated by her.

therefore, the first time the two of you spoke was two days after returning to the compound. Wanda had limited herself to her bedroom and brief appearances in the kitchen and the training room. in a moment of bravery, you decided you were finally going to formally introduce yourself and put your best foot forward.

you spent that morning researching Sokovian cuisine. you were not the best cook, but you were not the worst either. thus, you settled on a relatively simply dish and decided to make two servings: one for you, the other of your new teammate.

it is shocking that you do not drop the two dishes on your way to her bedroom. shaking from anxiety, your knuckles barely tap the door. you wonder if she could even hear you knocking. before you can knock again, though, the door is cracked open.

Wanda is surprised to see you on the other side. it is not that she is inherently opposed to your presence; it's just that she does not know you very well. to say she does not like strangers, especially within the confines of her bedroom, was an understatement.

however, her eyes drift downwards from your face, and she notes the dishes in your hands. the familiar smell is comforting. two days ago, it would have probably made her sob; today, though, she is able to provide a soft smile with her tears contained. so, she widens the door and allows you to enter.

you take the chance to walk into her room cautiously (not because you are afraid of her but because you are afraid of scaring her in some way). Wanda watches your actions closely, almost quizzically, as you set the dishes on a nearby desk, finally turning to face her.

the two of you bonded on some level that night. you told her some stories from your past, from growing up in the States to your journey with joining SHIELD. Wanda did not share as much in return (and you understand why); but when she did mention some part of her past, you listened attentively.

as weeks pass, the two of you only grow closer and closer. you watched her favorite sitcoms together, and she made dinner for the two of you each week. most times, she would choose a Sokovian dish, and you loved each one.

(when you moan from the delicious meal and tell her as such, she smiles, and a soft blush floods her cheeks. you were too engrossed in the food to notice.)

your favorite thing that you introduced her to was spotify. from a young age, you loved music. there was something about certain songs that made you feel something like nothing else could. so, you made sure to download it for her and show her how to use it.

(you made her a playlist titled "for my little witch," inspired by the nickname you recently branded her with. each morning, Wanda would listen to each song you added throughout the previous day.)

her current favorite artists include taylor swift, phoebe bridgers, lorde, and fiona apple.

Wanda starts to develop feelings — romantic feelings — for you about two months after you had come to her door with dinner. at first, she wonders if it is simply codependency — perhaps she was merely attached to you due to the fact you made an effort to get close to her earlier than others on the team?

however, she knows it is more than friendship (at least, on her end) when she watched you lay out the food items out on the blanket. the sun was in the process of going down, creating this hazy orange appearance in the sky. you had decided that day to take her out for a picnic, except this time, you were preparing all of the foods — more specifically, you were preparing all of the foods you grew up with as a child. there was something about the glint in your eye when placing the ham and cheese sandwiches on the blanket that made Wanda's heart skip a beat.

(that does not mean she was keen to accept her feelings at first. given her upbringing in eastern europe during the 90s, she was always taught a woman should only feel this way with a man. moreover, it is not like she had much experience in the romance department due to her years with HYDRA. she gets over this issue somehow, having this odd, albeit vivid, dream one night of her talking to Pietro about you, about her feelings for you. 'i did not see that coming,' he had said. 'you falling for an avenger? wow. she sounds nice, though.' he noticed her apprehension. 'it is okay to let yourself be happy, Wanda, even if it is with her. that is all i could ever want for you.')

(it is safe to say she cried the following morning.)

she begins to wonder if you feel the same once you add a few new songs to the playlist one day: 'sparks fly,' 'we fell in love in october,' '400 lux,' 'crush culture,' and 'you are in love.'

(she definitely does not lay in her bed that next morning with butterflies floating throughout her entire body about what this could possibly mean.)

you were a coward. you knew you could not confess your ever-growing feelings for Wanda verbally, afraid you would spill your guts out if you even tried. so, you opted to do it the only way you knew how: hint at your feelings through the songs you added. retrospectively, it was so stupid.

thankfully, Wanda was not, and she got the hint. though she was often relatively quiet, she could be unusually confident around you. maybe it was your constant awkwardness around her (which she found endearing and, sometimes, entertaining). she decided she would bring it up later went the two of you had your weekly dinner in her room.

"so, i listened to the songs you added yesterday."

"oh? what um- what did you think?"

"i liked them..."

(you stayed silent, continuing to eat the food she made, still shocked that she was bringing it up right now.)

"... i couldn't help but notice they all had a common theme, though."

"hmm."

"if i didn't know better, i would think this was your way of saying something... to me."

you began rambling, apologizing if you made her uncomfortable and promising to not do anything like that again. before you can get very far, however, she stops you by grabbing your hand, weaving her fingers between yours, and squeezing it.

(your mind is screaming at how soft her hands are. then, it is screaming at the fact that she is holding your hand.)

Wanda does not say anything, looking directly into your eyes.

she takes this as her chance to lean closer toward you, noses lightly brushing. knowing you would not be the one to officially break the distance (not only were you a coward, but you were a 'self-proclaimed believer in chivalry'), Wanda finally leans forward enough that your lips graze hers, softly but surely.

it only lasts for a few seconds before she pulls away with a smile on her face, but those were the best few seconds of your life thus far.

(she had vowed to never read your mind without permission, but your mind is practically screaming past its mental walls and into hers: 'oh my god. oh my god. she kissed me. she actually kissed me.')

she chuckles at your internal response and leans forward to place a peck on your lips before grabbing the (now) empty and dirty dishes from dinner and taking them back to the kitchen. in her exit, she leaves you in her room, dumbfounded but ecstatic at what had just occurred.

End.

#wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x you #limarieb wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #marvel imagines #wanda maximoff headcanons

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humdinky · 6 months

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hey all! i just wanted to take a minute to stand on my little soap box and tell you about a manga i picked up last december. it has gotten much more attention since then, but i'd still like to throw my thoughts into the mix.

on the surface, the summer hikaru died explores a pretty common horror trope: what if a person you loved changed into something unrecognizable? do you reject them, or try to connect to the person that they have become? of course, this fear is twisted into something more threatening in a supernatural horror format. what if they literally died and came back as something else that could potentially harm you and your family?

we follow two teenage boys: yoshiki and his best friend (and one sided crush) hikaru, who goes missing in the mountains for a week and miraculously reappears unscathed. he looks the same as ever, but yoshiki can tell that what came back is no longer the hikaru that he once knew. now, yoshiki must come to grips with the fact that something sinister has taken over his friend’s body - and that it has a strong attachment to him.

that's the basic premise, but this manga is still ongoing and there are plenty of different directions it could take. if you haven't read it yet, it's worth experiencing firsthand. beyond the body horror are themes of grief and repressed homosexuality, as well as subtext to read into. i'm not going to be spoiling any explicit plot details, but i'd encourage you to stop reading this and go check it out if a bl manga with gorgeous art, toxic but engaging romance, and body horror sounds appealing to you.

the first thing you'll notice about this manga is that *chef's kiss* gorgeous art! it is uncanny, as you would expect, but it is drawn with so much care. the heavily detailed background art and visual horror create a rather oppressive atmosphere. the author also really excels at conveying character emotions through facial expressions, and there's a lot of very subtle bits of information that you can pick up from them.

being a body horror manga, this aspect is of course given extra care. when it gets supernatural, it takes on an oddly surreal quality. i'd even say that the transformations of hikaru take on an air of eroticism. that sounds out of place, but the author understands that the line between fear and attraction is thin. there is one scene in particular that would be very sexual if not for the absolute nightmare scenario unfolding before my eyes.

one of my favorite things about this manga is the confidence the author has in the reader. yoshiki having had feelings towards' the previous hikaru is never outright stated, it's just assumed that the reader will pick up on it. the village yoshiki lives in views homosexuality as some kind of curse, and the insecurity this creates in him is shown very subtly. the camera's gaze and the little things he says all convey this, like his apparent guilt over staring at hikaru shown through the shadow on his face. his fear of and attraction to hikaru's transformations also conveys this idea. he's also coping with grief in an unhealthy manner, and this is shown through the almost experimental way he's sometimes drawn. but yoshiki is not the only important character, and hikaru also has some depth. his character is harder to parse, but there's more to him lurking below the surface. he's more delicate than his outgoing demeanor would suggest. hell, it's understandable - being a literal monster means his position in yoshiki's life is extremely tenuous. our two main characters form a codependent relationship based on a fear of being alone, something very human and compelling in a messy sort of way.

something that i do not see being brought up quite as much is how tshd uses horror elements to discuss the fears around coming out and dealing with same-sex attraction. so much of hikaru’s internal struggle is such a wonderful metaphor. many of the moments between him and yoshiki serve as a dual narrative - the surface-level narrative but also this very delicate story about two boys from a rural village who realize they have feelings for one another. the whole story in fact is one giant metaphor for dealing with the anxiety losing who you thought you were and embracing concrete truths about sexuality and love.

overall it left me with some very strong first impressions. it is both an excellent horror manga and a nuanced exploration of loss and sexuality. i also find it very refreshing that their relationship isn’t built on any sort of deception or lies, and that yoshiki is aware that he’s an imposter, just not the extent of what exactly he is or what is happening in the town.

#the summer hikaru died #hikaru ga shinda natsu #hgsn #tshd #txt #manga #shounen ai #bl manga #manga recommendation #lgbtq #gay #horror #romance #certainly brings a new meaning to 'exploring each others bodies'#when im in a who loses his head first competition and my oponent is a gay white haired dude 😨

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butchdykekondraki · 3 months

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hey. heres a lectures worth of writing about the relationship between jack kennedy and dave miller. enjoy ^_^

i think jack and daves relationship is so so so interesting because like. at their core they are both opposites and exactly the same, in the sense that if dave had grown up like jack she would've done the same thing jack had and if jack had grown up like dave it would've done the same thing she did, but also they just fundamentally are such different people that it's hard to imagine how they ever would be friends. i think it mostly comes down to a matter of balancing eachother out, dave is able to make jack come out of its shell, while jack is able to reel her in (<- this is also akin to dave and henry's relationship, which is interesting for other reasons, but this specifically indicates that this is probably why dave connected to heavily to jack). this also leads into the greater dynamics of dave's relationships with the kennedy family as a whole, seeing how each of them have a very specific dynamic with him.

jack and peter grew up in a relatively loving family, where they were forced into positions of pseudo-fatherhood after the death of their parents. after dee's death it all just kind of fell apart, with peter being killed and turned into a phone guy, and jack being killed but escaping to live with peter and caroline (immediately before peter's death, after which he took his house).

on the other side of things, dave grew up primarily on the streets after running away from his orphanage (similarly to how henry ran away from home at a young age, but henry took up learning and schooling, along with a brief stint in the military), in which he had to beg and barter for scraps and basically only survived by giving up any sense of security or self-worth he had because, in his words, ''people got tired of hearing about the poor children''. this led to her being isolated most of her life, and not developing any social skills (as is to why she later goes on to be so clingy and not know social ettiquette). the reason she then clung so hard onto henry's circus is because she simply didn't have a childhood. she was so enamored by it because it was the first thing that brought her actual joy. the circus is something that delighted her, and its why she followed it throught the states. she even believed henry when he said the lion tamer was the one killing children, even after she knew he was a child murderer, because she couldn't eve consider the fact that he was evil because he he was the first one who showed her that life could have meaning. she attatched to him so quick because he actually acted like he cared about her, even though he didn't, it's why she stole his dead son's name after he learned it. dave, at a fundamental level, was living through the childhood that she never had through henry, the diner, and then henry's son. the second dave meets jack, she almost immediately imprints on her because of just how alike it is to henry. jack is a super interesting character in and of themself, but especially in terms of how they interact with dave. everytime they interact, she either boosts him up and plays into his jokes, or is cold and ever-so-slightly distant to her. towards the end, she seems to even get paranoid at just being around her. i think a lot of his fear stems from how dave gets incredibly attached incredibly quick, whereas jack tends to stay distant to the best of its ability. even blackjack, someone who's supposed to represent the very being of jack, is cold and outwardly mean to people it doesn't like, especially jack and dave. jacks relationship with dave is inherently codependent, as both have to harbour the weight of being the only survivors of their various antics. dave, in and of herself, basically ruined jack's life, whether she knows it or not. it's why jack is so furious with him in the flipside, because at that point it'd already become distant with her (even trying to kill her when she burned down fazbender's frights), and he didn't want to have to associate with him any more than he already had. it only makes dave cling harder to her though, and as such it just has to kind of relent and let him do his thing. even if jack is outwardly cold, he still seems to at least pity him, seeing as he very easily could've ran away during the confrontation where he found davetrap. the fact he stayed and actively heard her out, especially when he didn't have to, speaks volumes to the fact that, despite everything, dave was still very much someone that he cared about, even if his care was out of nothing but pity. despite all of this, i think their relationship can best be defined with whatever the fuck dogman meant by ''..they were partners in every conceivable way..'' :-]

#[ren]#obligatory dsaf tag #long post #<- lol. lmfao.#also this is kind of disjointed at times lol my bad #its still coherent tho im just bad at figuring out when to do paragraph breaks without it being misplaced ^_^;;#this took me like an entire fucking hour HELP MEEE #i love character analysis.. ough #also AUUGHGH YESSS I FINALLY GOT A FUCKING CHANCE TO USE THAT INSANE FUCKING LINE ABOUT THEM BEING PARTNERS YEES YEEEESSSSS

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borzoilover69 · 5 months

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I would like you to elaborate on dirk and Dave's relationship post game! 0u0

I want to make one thing clear. Neither of them are particularly bad people for reacting the way they do. They are products of their environments and their upbringings, and this reflects a LOT in their behaviour. This is my personal interpretation.

I think it starts off generally well. They have enough in common to talk a lot, and so much to catch up on! I’d imagine they chat for quite a while and build up raport.. and then as time goes on, they start to sort of get on each others nerves.

Dirk has a habit of over analysing and trying to get into peoples minds to further understand them. This isnt a bad thing, i think he genuinely does it out of wanting to understand and “vibe” with them better, but it may seem weird and unncessary for others. What with being isolated socially for so long, the alpha kids in general have some strange ways of saying things that seem perfectly normal to them, as well as interpretation, that strike others as off or strange, and dirk is no exception. They arent as handy with social cues.

This is important because well, while Dave is good at running his mouth, he struggles to articulate effectively when he cares. Im sure as we have seen in canon, especially with people he loves, Dirk will probably try to look too deep into it and reach a conclusion that isnt the best. Dirk needs people he cares about to communicate honestly and openly. This is something Dave will struggle to do due to his aforementioned inability to articulate when he cares the most.

Of course I cannot forget mentioning the abuse in the relationship Dave had with his bro. One that on reflection of his childhood later, led to him being incredibly uncomfortable with when he realised the way he was brought up was certainly not normal. It did not help qualm Daves nerves. Especially when Dirk said he could see himself doing that. Dave is compassionate, but he is not entirely forgiving. I feel that while Dirk thinks its best to be aware of this manner, it would just make Dave uncomfortable at the idea of repetition. One which i feel he could not voice.

Diving deeper into personal musings, considering some of the evidence that Dirk coveted Dave for a long time, Given how much we see him covet Dave it has a very high chance of flipping the other way as a natural prince of heart destroying and picking at himself. Dirk has a desire to be useful, a desire to succeed, and his accomplishments fail in the face of daves in both timelines.

Dirk has two people we are established he holds especially dear to him, and that is Dave and Jake. However with that level of attachment and endearment it can become unhealthy. Dave and Jake arent the best when it comes to communication, or establishing the most stable of relationships if canon is to go off of. Without proper care and communication this turns out bad.

I personally feel like as time would go along, the silence between them would grow longer due to the lack of communication of issues between them. Dave would rather skirt them, Dirk would rather bottle them until he eventually explodes. Its that or theyd have a codependent relationship for a while before cutting it all off out of a want to fix things by trying to be there for the other, but facing difficulty in their desires being too different, Dave wanting time to build up raport and slowly close that gap while Dirk just wants to get there as efficiently as possible and missing the point of the picture.

TLDR; If you put a kid through literal isolation for 16 years and give him a meager amount of social situations its going to be very difficult for them to aclimate to someone more accustomed to the ebb and flow of relationships. If you give an abuse victim a younger alternate version of their abuser theyre never going to be ok with it entirely.

Its 3 am ill prolly delete this later

#borzoi talks #asks #dirk strider #dave strider #homestuck #hom3stuck #borzoi meta #homestuck meta

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thewayuarent · 8 months

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SandRay, codependency and addiction

We can't say for sure what’s gonna happen to Ray and Sand, but I can almost physically feel how their relationship will develop into codependency.

For Ray this is understandable: people with one addiction are much more subject to others, and dependence on an individual is one of them. This is quite a common tendency in behavior, often unconscious, when a person using addiction as a coping mechanism falls into a relationships. Relationships of any kind - family, friendly, romantic, sexual - the main thing is not the nature of the relationship, the main thing is their presence. Ray, due to his addiction, is prone to compulsions, which is why it takes him so little time to fixate on Sand.

The fact that he is obviously lonely - and his loneliness is one of the reasons for his alcoholism - also has a huge impact and only aggravates the situation. But even without this, the fact that Sand is voluntarily on his "broken" side, he is ready to take care of him, sympathize with him and devote time to him is a jackpot.

When Sand offers him friendship, Ray immediately says that it is necessary to keep an eye on him on a permanent basis. And part of it looks like self-irony, but at the same time it's literally what he needs. He has found someone who replaces his need to forget himself in alcohol. In fact, he replaces alcohol with Sand, replaces one addiction with another. He’s still drinking of course but with every interaction with Sand he’s doing it less.

Sand on the other hand has what I call savior syndrome. First time he helps Ray because he is, well, a normal person with a certain level of social responsibility. Then he agrees to hang out with him for money. But then? Many people reads in his actions that he is already falling for Ray, but I doubt it very much. I see it as a mix of pity and being sorry for him. And that what makes him stay in the first place.

And it's a pretty safe combination in itself, but in the context of their relationship, it can become very complicated very fast. He’s saying it himself - sex is fine but you should be careful, don’t feel more (and oh they will). The more they become attached to each other, the more they will depend on their roles and the emotions that these roles offer them. And Sand, as a self-aware person, understands this perfectly. But he is also attracted to it. And it's not about "saving" Ray. But there is something about the fact that a person you barely know sees you as a solution. So exhausting, but so very attractive. Savior syndrome.

And at the same time, of all the main couples in the show at the moment, they are the only ones who are equal. Yes, Ray uses money for control, but Sand is well aware of this. They do not lie and don’t try to manipulate each other, they talk through aspects of their relationship and generally find them mutually beneficial. So yes, they are far from an example of a healthy relationship, but at least so far they are not completely fucked up.

It’s too early in the show to tell what happened later and how their situation will develop. But I am so interested in it. As someone who went through relationship with addicted person I am well aware about codependency and other issues. I am also know for a fact that in healthy communication, with self-awareness of both partners and support that type of relationship can work.

Do I believe that last part will be about Sand and Ray? Not really. At least not in a “fairy tale happy end” way. But Only Friens is a strong, difficult and beautiful story about people. If they choose to show struggles of addiction and how it can affect others I’m all here for it.

Will Ray fight it or choose to ignore it, will Sand be here for him or decide that it's not for him. Or maybe nothing about that and I just see personal stuff. Either way it would be interesting

#ofts #only friends #ofts meta #only friends the series #sandray #only friends ray #only friends sand #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #firstkhao #firstkhaotung

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spacexseven · 2 years

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What's your ideas on a yandere reader? I envision a more highly devoted type that borders worship. I'm curious for Atsushi and Kunikida would deal with this. Maybe Dazai too.

i always love to read anything to do with yandere reader :> it's been growing on me recently but honestly i feel like i can never write it in a way that isn't unappealing to read 😭 (i got carried away at some parts)

cw yandere reader, yandere character, obsession, stabbing, general descriptions of violence (dazai's part) stalking, jealousy, possessive behavior, unhealthy relationships, manipulation codependency.

initially, atsushi would be very uncomfortable with that level of devotion. he doesn't think he deserves it, and even if your compliments and concerning amount of praise flatter him, he knows it's not...normal. you shouldn't hold anyone, let alone him in such high regard. but still, if you persist, he feels like he owes it to you to reciprocate your feelings at least to some degree. it's not like he's had anyone else that's been interested in him before, and definitely not like this.

the guilt never fades, but he grows a little compliant, not protesting when you cancel his plans and tell him to stay away from his friends. how can he say no and watch your face fall? he hates disappointing anyone, and knowing you would do anything for him makes him never want to disappoint you.

while he may never understand the fierce possessiveness in your eyes when anyone else approaches him or the desperation in your voice when you plead with him for his love, he thinks he can grow to accept it. it doesn't hurt to feel wanted, and he thinks after all the days he's felt absolutely useless and undeserving of any happiness, this isn't too bad.

it feels nice to be so loved, even if he knows, deep down, that it can't be healthy.

for kunikida, he's really just confused at first. why would anyone allow themselves to become so bothered with someone else? it just feels useless to him. so when he learns of your feelings, and towards him, he's even more perplexed. what did you see in him? he approaches you directly about it, and you aren't so shy that you wouldn't answer him, although he can tell you're intimidated. you tell him he's your idea of an ideal partner—clever, determined, quick on his feet and loyal. he was perfect, in your eyes. and you believe he deserves someone to worship him. someone to care for him like he cares for others, someone to know him beyond his sometimes harsh exterior. and then you tell him that you haven't been lucky enough to peek into his book yet, but you hope you qualify for at least one requirement of his ideal partner. kunikida goes home that night, and stares at his list for the ideal partner. after a long time, he picks up his pen and makes some changes. he can't exactly understand you, but he can appreciate your efforts. his favorite drink on his bedside every morning with a note from you, just the way he keeps his cup—he overlooks the obvious breach of privacy in favour of the comforting warmth from his drink. your attempts to conform to his wishes, no matter how inconvinient. your constant praise and love for him. still, he knows it's unhealthy. he knows it's not right but...he grows to enjoy your presence. he tells himself that soon, he'll stop you. he'll talk to you some other time, about working on your attachment to him. for now...he can relish in your total trust in him.

dazai couldn't believe it at first. he already caught on to your not so subtle stalking a while ago—you weren't as good as you'd think, but he found it oddly endearing. he would be flattered, even, that someone cared so much. he definitely didn't need you to keep an eye out on him as he ventured through dangerous alleys alone, but it was nice to know someone was looking out for him.

he might even find it sweet.

for all he likes to act like nothing bothers him and he's always alright, he kind of likes to be acknowledged in this way.

so his next course of action would be to stalk you, obviously! alright, so that startled expression whenever you catch him looking, that flustered look when he smirks at you, telling you that he knew what you were up to, stirred something inside him. but what could he do? you were just so cute! he gets to know you (by watching you through the windows) and he's struck by how...normal you are. you really weren't pretending around him at the office. he texts you and watches your face light up. he sends you selfies and watches as your eyes grow wide and your breath hitch. you really did like him, didn't you? he does it on purpose, sometimes. flirts with the waitress as you seethe from the corner, wondering how far you'd go for him. you don't hurt her, but you didn't need to—that burning glare from you that day sent her running away from dazai every time after that. when he watches you stab fyodor, lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, spitting out curses at him for hurting your dazai, landing a hand on him—he smiles, despite himself. he feels lightheaded. he thinks it's from the wound at first, but realises you probably drugged him. you didn't have to, but he doesn't mind. your usual softhearted nature burned away in your rage, eyes sharp and hands steady as you plung the knife in and out. you don't give the man a quick death, swearing he would pay for ever daring to touch dazai. he's almost jealous that the other man is getting all your attention, but he isn't afraid.

you're doing this because you loved him, after all, and he knew in that moment he would do the same.

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pinkandpurple360 · 4 months

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Even being the Fizzomdous trash as I am, I'm starting to get worried about some of the ask of those trying to defend it.

Both Fizz and Ozzie are grown men, not children. Yeah, if Fizz and Ozzie broke up: they'll get over it eventually because life goes on. Sure one of them may have a harder time than the other due to attachment issues but if you lived for thousands of years you had to have friends come and go and yeah, I refuse to believe Fizz is the first person he fell in love with. You live that long you more than likely had crushes or grew feelings for someone (unless you're aro and even then platonic queer relationships exist).

That and it's unhealthy to have your life devoted around one person and no one else. The problem I just realized about Viv's pairings in the show is that it seems that both are supposedly completely 'in Love' with each other but don't have a life outside of that. Millie and Moxxie are glued to the hip but are you telling me neither of them have people they hang out with outside of work or their relationship? How often does Millie see or talk to her family? Where's her friends? Does she even have any? Same with Moxxie? Do they have hobbies they both like when they're not together? Even couples are gonna have different interests from each other. Granted, I'm not saying we need to see every part of their life but my point stands that even in healthy relationships, couples do have lives outside of each other. Isolating yourself and spending time with only your partner and partner alone is going to lead to some codependency and I don't know about you, that ain't romantic.

Also people saying that Ozzie and Fizz can't break up for Fizz to be with Blitzo: Um, all three of them have two hands? And damn does Blitzo need a partner that isn't going to talk down to him and see him as a sex object. He gets two loving boyfriends for the price of one! Everyone wins but Stolas but who cares about Stolas he proves he shouldn't be in a relationship right now with how he treats others around him. Heck Blitzo already has more chemistry with Oz than he does with uwu sad owl boi. I know poly isn't for everyone but c'mon people think outside the box!

(and I'm sure Ozzie is more than down for a threesome. just saying).

Seriously, some of you who are grown adults really have a childish view on relationships.

I’m a fan of them myself. And I have no problem just enjoying the story as it is. I’m just trying to take a critical view on it and keep in mind the fact that this show is supposed to be on the maturity level of Bojack, soo what’s with all these heroic masculine characters rescuing feminine characters from all their troubles.

Why are people talking about “soulmates” — a concept I don’t really believe in. Two people can meet at the right time and fit perfectly, or they can just barely miss each other, the attraction and compatibility either gets stronger or weaker with time. That’s why love is so special when you do have it. That’s just my experience though if people don’t like that I won’t force it on them.

Going back to MnM, nobody has dethroned them yet. Not even close. Millie and Moxxie are so so different but they met at the perfect time for something beautiful to blossom. But if Moxxie, a terrified impressionable person in the past, met Millie, a once violent unforgiving person, they wouldn’t have clicked. It would have been the wrong time. Now however they are very much compatible and in love but slowly leaving the honeymoon phase. That transition is very difficult. It explains perfectly why they’re still so rosy cheeked and gleeful to be around each other. The two are newly weds.

Exactly exactly, that annoys me too. So. why don’t the two of them have other friends? It’s all entirely each other or their boss blitzø. But B actually does have friends he used to party with. And probably connections in lust? but we never see them. Wouldn’t it be nice if Millie had a favourite western themed bar with a small social group and knife throwing tournaments? Maybe Mox knows some people from the shooting range or from the opera theatre he loves so much. Idk. Just ideas.

Oh yeah polyamory. What a concept. Blitzfizzarozzie is such a perfect ot3 and you’re right. Asmodeus built a mutually respectful trust with Blitz in what..? Ten minutes? With a foundation that they both love and protect Fizz. And it’s probably been over a year and stolas can’t even have one conversation that is non hostile and non sexual with him. Not one.

I’ve heard rumours that allegedly Viv gets the ick from polyamory. That and her alleged hostility to trans men…so much for a “queer” show. I really really wish she’d put out a statement about how she doesn’t believe this anymore, ‘was in a bad place’ or something, instead of running from it. I wouldn’t be so quick to let it go personally considering how much denial and dishonesty she was in, but most fans would eat it up.

If she has addressed it let me know actually, might be wrong.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss #fizzarozzie crit

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