#[she said even though clearly it was not fine and she was spiraling straight into a depressive episode]

[ranposbabe]

Delightful | William James Moriarty x Reader

Chapter Two

“You fucking idiot.” You curse, slamming the charger onto the floor. For last several minutes or what rather felt like hours, you crouched down to the sockets desperately trying to charge your phone using that useless wire.

You’ve become so needy that you resorted to using the typical technique of wiggling the charger around in hoping it’d somehow work even if it’d result in loss of blood circulation due to the wire somehow tying around your wrist.

“I’m fed up with you.” You mutter to yourself. Pulling yourself up from the ground. You suppose it was time you needed to return to the town to buy a new charger. It was easy before not needing your phone while drunk as everything was spiralling and blurry clearly a phone was no use to you. But now you were…sober.

Wanting to escape the public while needing to be out in public seemed like a challenge quite like…yesterday.

But since it was still late morning and you’d rather do anything but sit with your own thoughts, you thought now would be the time to head out and seek out an insufferable charger. How convenient.

The town was calm and steady compared to the rush and turbulence of the previous evening. You weren’t however sure if that pleased you or not. It was easy to mix into a crowd, become lost and yet being completely sane with not physically feeling present. Yet right now it was completely opposite, you stood out more now with the lack of people despite the fact that everyone present was off living in their own world. It made your fingers twitch in nervousness. The anxiousness that being sober brought.

Eyeing down the shop before you, you were glad that you needn’t walk far into town to come across the shop. Despite the shop being modern the location was rather suspicious since either side of the small shop was an older shut down building barricaded by rotting walls. It didn’t seem to belong here.

Just as your fingertips touched the door a sudden noise emerged. A cry of a crow broke out. Next to the modern phone shop on the high brick wall stood the crow staring down at you.

Looking up, you tilt your head in wonder, brows furrowing as well.

Just then the stoic crow flew overhead you, his large ruinous wings spread.

Your head snaps turning as he fly’s behind you. He lands on the market stall.

Since when was the modern phone shop located just across from the markets ?

Eyeing the crow, your eyes lower the see the owner of said market stall to see who stands before it. Your eyes widen in surprise at the sight. The same quaint bygone woman from yesterday. Her small eyes gawking straight ahead. At you.

The more weary steps you took the more you felt as if though you were being chained and being tugged at, pulling you closer. You then come to the conclusion.

The crow was leading you away.

“We meet again.” You smile politely at the woman. “You must have me confused. I don’t know a woman like yourself.” The woman continues to stare. Confused, your head tilts to the side but you shake your head slightly. She’s an elderly woman, of course she wouldn’t exactly remember you. This is probably her hundredth encounter of the morning. Yet the woman doesn’t even attempt to recall who you are.

For the first time, your eyes glance down at the table of her stall to see what exactly the woman sells. Silver pendent necklaces placed down on silk sheets. They all showed a carved heart, many details placed in the necklaces. Your fingertips barely graze the necklaces when they’re suddenly snatched from her.

“If you are to seek one of these you must take this one, woman.”

There from her own pocket she pulls a necklace just like the others however there’s a clear difference. “A crow ?” You state, eyeing the bird who’s sharp eyes still stare you down. You subtly tilt your head at him almost as if you were challenging him.

The necklace contained fine details and 3D like as the crow and branches sprung out from the pendent of the necklace. Rather peculiar.

The urge to leave grows strong. “Why is this different from the rest ?” You also wanted to ask why said necklace was also in the elder’s pocket but you bite your tongue. The question seems to throw off the woman it as if though no one ever dared to question her despite the fact you were genuinely curious.

“It can be yours.” She dangles it in front of your face. Somehow you’re intrigued, this woman must make a fortune.

“How much-

“I don’t want money, woman !” She barks, snatching the necklace back. “Yours.. if you sign.” Almost as if it appeared from thin air a scroll like sheet is placed before stating some lines that you have no desire to read due the handwriting being cursive yet small and yet clear as day at the bottom stated signed.

“Is this some sort of receipt or something ?” You wonder, taking the pen from her frail hand. Without a second thought, you sign and suddenly as soon as you finish the sheet is abruptly taken from you before your eyes could even glance over the paper.

“Now !” The old woman shoves the necklace into your hands, practically pushing you away. “Best be off.”

Hesitantly, you turn going to walk away but not before looking back and noticing that the crow is now gone, nowhere to be seen and so you head back home away from the town.

You sat down on your unusually uncomfortable bed with your knees up to your chest staring down, lost in your thoughts. It was late evening about seven o clock as the sun was starting to set the sky bloomed of various shades of bright orange. Your eye catches sight of the necklace placed by at your feet.

The light from the window hitting it made it glow like a beacon.

“Why was there only one ?” You whisper, grabbing the necklace to observe it more closely. Your brows furrow in thought and then you decide. “Ah why not ?”

The necklace then is lad across your chest comfortable, your fingers already fidgeting with it. Attempting to find comfort, you slowly lay down adjusting yourself on the bed but-

“Shit !” You shout, practically jumping up.

“I forgot to buy that fucking charger !” You groan, tapping the side of your head in frustration. “Oh I give up !” You sigh, throwing yourself onto the bed.

Your eyes squeeze shut, hoping that slumber will take over.

A soft cooling breeze was present slowly pulling you awake from slumber. It didn’t take you that long to fall asleep after returning from anti climatic evening despite the encounters with the odd folk yet you couldn’t be surprised all walks of life were present in the town, even the strange ones.

Your eyes flutter some , turning your head to meet your soft pillow yet.. you don’t.

Confused you open your eyes to see..

concrete ?

Raising your head you squint looking around with eyes still adjusting to the rather obnoxious bright light.

“Mother ! The harlot’s legs are exposed !” A young voice cries out.

“Don’t look at such filth, dear.”

“What the fuck is going on ?” You sigh, rubbing your tired eyes.

“Mother the harlot’s talking to herself !”

“How strange… and she’s laying herself out open in the middle of the street. Come now dear, look away !”

Your eyes widen at the sight before you, it seemed like town but not the same.

No cars present, the place looks somewhat deserted and the people are…wearing formal suits and dresses ?

This has to be a dream. Last thing you remember was laying in bed

“I must be drunk.” Shaking, you stand to walking over to an old looking lamp post, you barley look up taking in the weird surrounding before shaking your head in shock, eyes glazed over.

“Am I in a dream ??!!” You cry out to a man passing by. The man scoffs, dragging his cane along as fixes his top hat, mumbling something about lower class imbeciles as he walks on yet you’re too frightened to try to understand what he means.

Looking down you take note that you’re still wearing the same sweatpants and top you wore before you fell asleep but now your knees are covered in dirt and the same goes for your sleeves.

Your hand subconsciously goes for your neck and there you feel-

“The necklace !” You gasp, tugging on it.

Clenching the necklace close you soon come to the realisation. This is not a dream. But then what is going on ?

What is happening and why is it happening ? Why you ?

Some time has passed, you’re not that positive as everything seems to be spiralling and not right. You’ve been wondering around the streets searching for an answer by to no avail. No help.

You cluelessly walk out to the middle of the somewhat empty road, looking back and forth not knowing where to go.

The later it got made you more nervous as to what the night would spring upon you.

As you stand contemplating what to do, a sudden noise a heard as you turn to look, your body completely freezes at the sight of… a carriage !

You shiver, shutting your eyes as you wait for impact but suddenly there’s none.

A arm grabs you at the last second and you’re dragged out from the road onto the pavement. Your chest feels tight as you sit on the ground, hoping to calm down.

Before you could even have the courage to face the heroic person who saved you from the carriage, your eyes set on the sky behind you. It looked the same bright orange sky as it did before you fell asleep and woken up…here.

“Are you alright there, miss ?” A deep voice broke you from your thoughts.

Still breathless, you turn to look up high at your saviour. There stood two men, well one to you looks younger possibly your age. He stands smaller and shorter than the other man who is your saviour.

Both men share dark hair yet this younger man stands out with a light blue scarf laying tightly around his neck.

You notice the older man seems to have styled his hair more, he wears gloves with a high collar on his black jacket.

Both their dark yet somewhat soft eyes stare you down and now it’s starting to feel slightly intimidating. Clearly not comfortable with the silence the man continues as the younger man remains silent yet still carefully eyeing you.

“You’ve got a bit of dirt on your cheek.” He rather states the obvious. He lends out his rather large hand and when you take it you’re thrown off just by how strong this man is as he pulls you to your feet.

Looking in between the two men, your breathing starts to become rapid once again and then it’s all too much.

“What the fuck ?!” You cry out, and just like that everything turns black.

You’ve passed out.

Before your unconscious body hits the ground, your saviour catch’s you and doesn’t hesitate to throw you over his shoulder, your arms dangle over his back, his hands securely placed on your thighs.

“Seems we’ve got a vulgar one here, Fred.” He smirks at the lad. “What are we gonna do aye ?” He practically asks himself as the lad remains quiet following your saviour as he now walks on his way.

“Why has she got pants on ?”

#x reader #reader insert #anime and manga #mtp william #william james moriarty x reader #william james moriarty #william moriarty #yuukuko no moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukuko no moriarty #moriarty the patriot #mtp x reader #yuumori #albert james moriarty #louis james moriarty #sherlock holmes #fred porlock #sebastian moran

[just-dreaming-marvel]

The Truth About Love ~ 9

THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,300ish

Summary: You and Steve need to talk.

Notes: hope this isn’t complete trash. And, yes, I know I said that I was done posting for the day. I lied.

You were dazed all the way home. Natasha knew something was up when you went straight to your room without saying anything to her or Bucky, who were both sitting on the couch. She could practically hear your spiraling thoughts as she and Bucky heard your bedroom door lock behind you. You went straight to your bed and collapsed back onto it. You were just now realizing how little you actually knew Steve.

You knew that Steve had a brother, but was that the same brother that you just met? Or did he have more? And Steve had other… interests? Were you not the only woman he was going after? Of course, Steve was an extremely attractive man and could get any woman we wanted. Why you? And how could he afford his studio? Did he have money or his parents? Were his parents dead or alive? Did they approve of his choice of wanting to pursue art as a career? Did Steve have other siblings? And why didn’t his brother, Tony, look anything like him?

You really did know nothing about Steve, really. Like you two just gave each other your last names tonight. Yes, you’ve only known him for about a week, but aspects of your relationship were moving swiftly while others weren’t. 

You closed your eyes when you heard your phone begin to buzz in your bag. You made no move to get it, even as it continued to buzz and buzz for the next ten minutes. You knew who was calling and you really didn’t want to talk right now.

~~~

Steve had called you a few times, only to go unanswered, before leaving his studio and rushing to the apartment building. As he reached the floor and hurried down the hall, Bucky exited your apartment. Bucky’s brows pinched together as he noticed Steve dramatically slow his pace as he came toward Bucky.

“Steve? Is something wrong?” He asked, seeing the look of concern on his friend’s face.

“Everything is fine,” Steve quickly responded, not convincing. “Is, uh, do you know if Natasha’s roommate is home?”

“Uh, yeah, she is. Why?”

“Just—just wondering.”

Bucky wasn’t convinced. His arms folded over his chest as he stared his friend down. “Want to tell me the truth?”

Steve sighed, knowing that it was probably time to come clean to his friend. “Can we go inside before I tell you everything?”

~~~

“So, if I understand everything, you met Y/N at the coffee shop she works at and immediately hit it off,” Bucky began repeating what Steve had told him. “You two have been sneaking around, for whatever reason you two idiots came up with, and now Tony is getting involved with his usual jackassery and Y/N won’t answer your calls.”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, “that’s about it.”

Bucky leaned back into the couch. “No wonder Y/N came in dazed.”

“Dazed?” Steve’s concern only grew. “What do you mean by dazed?”

“Just like, she was completely out of it. She went straight to her room without saying anything and locked it.”

Steve groaned, head falling into his hands. “I don’t know how to fix this… I don’t know what she’s thinking or feeling.”

“Steve, this wasn’t your fault. Give her tonight, I’m sure everything will be alright in the morning.” Bucky stood up and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To tell Natasha that our plan to set you and Y/N up is a no-go and she owes me.”

~~~

Steve didn’t get any sleep that night, too busy worrying over you. You still weren’t answering any of his text messages or calls. Finally, he grew impatient and walked over to your apartment door and knocked. Natasha was quick to open it, giving Steve a disapproving glare.

“What do you want, Rogers?” Natasha asked.

“Is Y/N home?” He responded. “I really need to talk to her.”

“No. Despite my advice, she went to school today though she clearly didn’t look up to it.”

“Okay, thank you.” He moved to turn back.

“Not so fast, Steve. What do you plan to do to fix this?”

“I would like to start by talking about it all. I think that a lot of this can be cleared up that way.”

“I agree. Though I’ve never truly talked to her about the relationship, I can tell she really likes you, Steve. Don’t mess this up.” Then Natasha shut the door between them.

“I’ll try not to.”

~~~

Work was the absolute worst. There was a constant line out the door, you never had time to clean tables, customer complaints were ridiculous (as were their orders), and no one could come in and help you, meaning you were all on your own to deal with it. When you finally got a break about an hour before closing, you looked around the shop and felt like you could just burst into a puddle of tears. It was an absolute disaster. It was going to be at least a two-hour clean-up job, and that was if no one else came in tonight.

With tears in your eyes and exhaustion setting in, you started cleaning up the place. By the time closing time hit, you weren’t even halfway done. A sigh escaped your lips as you walked over to the door to lock it. As your hand took hold of the lock, the sound of a motorcycle filled your ears. You looked up to see Steve coming down the road. You bit your lip as you debated whether to quickly lock the door or not. 

Before you could make a final decision, Steve’s eyes locked with yours. They were so full of concern and sadness, almost like one of those dogs in the shelter commercials. Without locking the door, you turned around and began cleaning again.

Steve could tell by your demeanor and the shop that it hadn’t been an easy day. He walked in and immediately got to work. The two of you worked alongside each other in silence. Once everything was cleaned and put together, you grabbed your things and the two of you walked out of the shop. You locked up before turning to Steve.

“Thanks,” you mumbled.

“Of course,” he shot you a small smile. “Let’s head home.”

“No, wait. Steve, we need to talk.”

“I know.”

“We… some of this—whatever this is—has moved really fast and other parts haven’t moved at all. After yesterday, I realized that we don’t actually know each other.”

“I know,” Steve repeated with a nod. “I was hoping that we could talk tonight but I know it’s been a rough day for you. Are you free tomorrow?”

“I have work and school again.”

“Then how about Friday?”

“I don’t have school, but I work a full shift and I should be off by five.”

“Okay,” he nodded, thinking over a plan. “What if I pick you up at your apartment at six on Friday night?”

“That should work. Are you still good to take me home tonight though?”

“Of course. Come on,” he carefully reached out and took your hand, “let’s get you home.”

~~~

Steve held your hand as the two of you walked to your apartments. He rubbed the back of it with his thumb when the two of you stopped in front of the doors.

“I… I need to apologize about my brother,” Steve said. “He was out of line.”

“It’s alright,” you said. “I’m sorry for leaving. I was just caught off guard.”

“I get it.” He nodded, an awkward silence growing between you. “So… I’ll see you on Friday?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “Friday.” You backed up into your door. “Thank you for helping me and giving me a ride. Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart."

next chapter >

TAGLIST IS CLOSED - Taglist Information

#steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x f!reader #Steve Rogers x Female Reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x female!reader #steve rogers x fem!reader #steve rodgers imagine #steve rodgers x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #the avengers x reader

[neverchecking]

Sweetpea is like the Ultimate Golden Retriever Energy, but I also feel like he's weirdly good at Emotional Intelligence and that's the thing that got him into Aaliyah's and then Sage's good books. (We gotta give him something.)

Since this is a yandere verse and Sage is the older version of Wild and Cal, they would probably be yanderes as well. But maybe not as intense? (I think that's the flavour I'm going for) as Sage because the moment Sweetpea realises where he's seen that look before, he's coming down on them like an avalanche.

Because the idea of them thinking Aaliyah didn't choose Sage or them trying to manipulate her genuinely makes him angry. Not a lot makes him angry, but people forcing a choice onto others is one of them. From before the moment he woke up in the Shrine, Tia hammered into his head that no matter what people or even Gods said, the decision to be The Hero was always his. It was always his choice to take up the sword, to save the champions and her, to protect Hyrule. She straight up told him if he felt like the Calamity or Ganon was too much, he could just leave. So Sweetpea is very big on Freedom of Choice. (She's trying to hammer the same thing into the other two but its a bit slower going due to habits and *Trauma*.)

So these little puppies turning into genuine threats to Aaliyah's safety and happiness? Yeah, no. Not happening. Wanna love her? Go right ahead. Want her attention? Fine by him. Want to protect her? Here's a sword. Think she's the most divine person to ever grace the land? You're delusional, that's Sidon and Yona, but each to their own.

Want to steal her away and strip her of her own choices and autonomy? Over your dead bodies.

He's pinned them in private and tearing into them, ripping apart every single excuse they can have that Sage isn't good enough for her. He tells them they have no idea what Sage and Aaliyah went through together, even he and Tia will never truly know. That it was never about deserving between them, only choices.

Sweetpea, who's not-so-sweet at this point, really hammers the point home by sarcastically apologising that he didn't recognise the two as being Flora and Fauna because only a version of Natura would dare to assume things are as they think they should be.

His parting shot is that the two should think about whether they respect Aaliyah enough to understand she made her choice of Sage freely and only if they respect that choice, then she might choose them too. And wouldn't that be better, to know she chose them even with her and Sage's history?

But if they don't? Well, Sweetpea was always the more efficient between him and Sage and a threat to Aaliyah, Sheikah Champion and Sage of Spirit, is a threat to Hyrule and it's Queen.

(He's going to need Tia snuggles afterwards. He won't tell anyone about the duo yet but goddesses he needs snuggles. Maybe even group snuggles. Sage can suck it up. He wants Snuggles.)

The relationship between Tia and Aaliyah and Sage is phenomenal. Tia was just like 'psst psst psst' at first and now she has two cats disguised as Hylians drifting in and out of her home all hours of the day.

Sage and Tia started bonding pretty early on, mostly due to Tia being very different to Natura and willing to go with Sage instead of trying to lead. The 'Dumpling' name came out late one night as they cooked together and Tia was tired. Previously, she'd been trying to respect the space Sage clearly wanted but she slipped. Sage didn't say anything so she let her guard down even further which made Sage drop his guard and it just spiralled from there. (Sweetpea and Tia are Siblings with a hint of 'That's my Mom/Woman that raised me' cause Tia did basically reraise Sweetpea through his amnesia so They are Family which also makes his Red Alert system even funnier cause 'That's his mom you heathens!' 'Don't call me mom. It makes me feel old.' 'But you are old though.')

Tia was really anxious to meet Aaliyah because she really really really wanted Aaliyah to like her. Sage couldn't stop waxing lyrical about her once he got comfortable enough to do so and Sweetpea kept bragging about all the stuff they did together and how cool she is but don't tell her I said that. But then they finally properly meet and it's like "Hi We're the Brain Cells of this operation."

It doesn't take all that long for Tia to scoop Aaliyah under her wing as well because she sees and hears all the shit Aaliyah went through and is just 'We're not doing that again. Mine now.' It starts with a single invitation to tea (because you can't really go wrong with tea) and then spirals into weekly gossip sessions disguised as Important Political Conversations and occasionally Tia trimming Aaliyah's hair for her.

Tia is also big on casual displays of affection so she's dishing out forehead kisses, hand squeezes, linking arms, side hugs and head pats like they're going out of style. Once they get used to it, Sage and Aaliyah are competing with Sweetpea over who gets the first hug. Or just hugging her randomly to annoy her 'Suitors'.

(Eventually, First, Warriors and Twilight tag team with each other to get some sundelions to her. This is a Team Effort now. They wait until Sweetpea is away with his Zora, distract Sage and Aaliyah while one of them quietly passes the bouquet to her. All three of them get shy cheek kisses and her guard dogs are so pissed.

Sweetpea really wishes he'd never accidentally mentioned that of all the Heroes Tia had 'visions' of, the Hero of Twilight was her favourite closely followed by the Hero of Warriors. He has so many regrets :) and those two have been insufferably smug ever since.)

(I feel like Sweetpea is the only one who definitely knows about the whole reincarnation thing. Tia wanted to explain it to Sage and Aaliyah once they were assured the merged Hyrules were permanent but they both saw how visibly uncomfortable it made her. They do at least know her 'Visions' aren't exactly the whole story.)

He seems like the most emotional intelligent out of all of them. Like his own emotions? He has no clue. But Sage has this miniscule twitch in left brow and his right ear flickered? He's gonna commit manslaughter. He's pinpointing every single one of these things. Like you said, it probably is what gets him into their good books because he's explaining that while yes, he does understand that person deserves to be drowned, they can't. And the two are just shocked he could pick that much up when they were certain they remained neutral faced.

They haven't had the same devastation of the upheaval that positively broke poor Sage, so you're right that they wouldn't be as intense. They're a little more mellow, less quick to latch on. The worst is when Sweetpea figures it out and is just D:< That can't happen! He won't let his SIL Leave are you CRAZY?!

Because you're right. Aaliyah did choose Sage. She chose him every time. Pre-Calamity when circumstance forced her to choose between preforming her duty to her people or ensuring his safety, she chose him. After her revival when she could've chose to live blissfully unaware or join him and put herself right back into the fire of it all, she chose him. After the upheaval when she fought several realities to get back, she chose him. And she'll continue to choose him. Over and over and over again. While it's probably unhealthy, it works for them and Sweetpea is going to preserve that to the best of his ability.

It's funny because Aaliyah isn't scary to Sweetpea. Everyone else has a healthy fear of her, but Sweetpea has no shits given. He's willing to do everything to protect her despite the fact she's the one wiping the blood off her face after a fight. Sure, they can wrongly think she's a piece of pure divinity blessing Hyrule, but the second they try taking the piece from his brother is the second he's proving why he's strong enough to roll with those two.

If Sage doesn't get to them first, you bet that he's a little thankful (In his own constipated way) that Sweetpea is willing to go to bat for him and Aaliyah. What they have been through has made their connection so unbreakable, at this point he's convinced they're actual soulmates. Not even Tia or Sweetpea will probably ever know what the true extent of the devastation they went through did to them, but they trust that they are only products of their environment.

Him comparing them to Flora and Fauna probably makes them so angry because how dare he, but it does get them thinking. They don't ever want to cage Aaliyah because A) It would destroy her and B) she would find a way out and then, not only despise them, but make them wish they hadn't met her at all.

Sweetpea probably inspires that idea that should they want any chance with the Sheikah, they'll have to get close to Sage. Hence starts a new plan where they are now working on getting into Sage's good graces, because if he trusts them enough they can get closer to her.

He probably comes stomping back to camp, straight up fuming, throwing shit, reminding everyone that yes, him and Sage are closer in spirit then people think. Even Sage is raising a brow. Sweetpea was supposed to be the nicer of the two? He doesn't even complain when Sweetpea, mid-rant, grabs him by the back of his shirt and all but throws him into their combined bedrolls all put into a pile. He's only watching as Aaliyah is picked up and dropped onto his lap and Sweetpea is turning to Tia. When he returns with Said woman, going into a silent grumble as he moves them around to suit his every whim, they just sit there like O-O wat-

Tia with these two shadows following her like vengeful deities only to calm them with a gentle head scratch rfnofnf Them just coming and going whenever they please is so funny. Like the door opens, "Hi Sage." Incomprehensible grunt. Clanging around "Hyrule herb is to the left." Another grunt. Then a cabinet shutting. "Bye Sage. Tell Aaliyah I said hello. Love you both." A third grunt, a soft "...love you too." and then he's gone. AND THATS JUST NORMAL

I love their bond sm <33 It warms my soul. Especially because Sweetpea's relationship with Tia is more motherly I can only imagine that extending to Sage. At first he's skeptical but beneath all that trauma he's still just a soft boi who's scared of getting hurt again. Which makes it even funnier when her suitors are talking about it and the two are just disgusted because EW?! That's Tia? (They just can't see Tia being romantic in any sense.) It's like watching your school principal flirt with your mom.

Okay that's funny you bring it up because for all Aaliyah plays, she's such an anxious person. So while Tia is freaking out, so is she. Sweetpea spoke so highly of this woman and Aaliyah was two bits short of being absolute insane. So she wants to prove herself to this being who Sweetpea just sings of. She at least knows a version of Sidon and Yona, but not a Tia. Which is probably where Tia is. She knows a version of Sage, has met a few Sheikah, but never an Aaliyah. And when she gets past his barriers and hears him just talk about all the soft things written in books?

When they meet it's probably a little tense because they wanna impress the other so much but if only takes a little while before they're breaking and explaining that they just want to impress the other. And then they soon realize that they are, in fact, the brain cells.

OMG Them having weekly gossip sessions is now so important to me. Especially the hair bit. they're talking about who's sleeping with who, who's Sarah's actual baby daddy, did you hear what happened to Trixie's son? Beatrice caught Tommy and Lucas in the barn. All the juicy details. The one time the boys joined they were left O^O Because wha- they didn't know Hyrule was this deep?!

Tia slowly turning Physical touch into the others love language is so funny to me because it works. With the puppets, they could never touch them. Just see them. so when Tia is jumping all over them and brushing their bangs back to kiss their forehead, holding hands as they walk, it's such a nice reassurance. Even if it does in fact turn into a competition. there's a scoreboard. And they abuse they're privileges for bragging rights as well.

(THEM TURNING THIS INTO A TEAM EFFORT IS SO FUNNY TO ME- The guard dogs are trying to blame each other only to fall short as Tia looks so happy. And while they love seeing her happy, they hate seeing the possibility of her being taken away.

The other two are >:( When Sweetpea admits he told Twilight he was one of her favorites because WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM THAT?! Wars smug face especially pisses him off.)

(Aaliyah and Sage are probably the best for understanding that talking about trauma is hard. So they easily let Tia take it at her pace just as she lets them. It'll come when it comes. They aren't in any rush and Tia shouldn't be either <3)

#cinder rambles #switch au #with aaliyah and tia :)

[aced-tae]

If Taemin was an important part of who you were growing up and who you are currently and you have no idea who you are or are going to be without him clap your hands

#taemin #shinee #might be going through the stages of grief oop #im fine #this is FineTM #[she said even though clearly it was not fine and she was spiraling straight into a depressive episode] #Its All Good Bro #also he's enlisting just so no one freaks out #and thinks worse

[primofate]

2K Followers Event: Pancake and Waffle Cafe Masterlist

Nutella Waffles (overhearing and misunderstanding a conversation/situation) MODERN AU ANGST

Characters: Childe, Kazuha, Thoma, Albedo, Kaeya, Zhongli, fem!reader

Warnings: not proofread :D, cheating, fighting, insulting, misunderstanding (duh), pregnancy, sexual innuendos, implying sex, mentions of sex, still SFW though, of course I bent the lore since it’s an AU

Notes: I had trouble with this so I decided to make it a modern AU. That’s also why it took so long. I think my brain is starting to run dry XD I mean, there’s only so much situations/conversations I could think of that could be misunderstood. Still, enjoy!

Childe

"Ah, sorry, Y/N, I can’t walk you home today... Maybe tomorrow?” Childe smiled at you, scratching the back of his head, his school bag swung over his shoulder already. He looked like he was in a hurry. 

It’s been a few days like this and you really didn’t know what was happening. You asked him if he needed help with stuff at home or if he was having a hard time with his homework and if that’s why he was always rushing off. He would just give you the same smile and wave a hand. “It’s nothing like that,” and then off he’d go. 

The next day, as you walk towards his classroom during lunchtime you hear him and his friends talking before you even reach the classroom door. 

“Zoe is totally cute,” Childe says. The voice he uses is something that he’d never used on you before. You freeze in your tracks and try to listen in more. “Wow, she really is! Great job picking her!” one of his friends said and it sounded as if they’d hit Childe on the back as a congratulations. “Let me see, let me see,” another one says followed by a gasp. “Have you taken her out yet?” Childe laughs nervously and you know all too well without even looking at him that he’s probably scratching his head. “No, not yet,” 

“Does your girlfriend know yet?” Someone else asks.

And then you hear a laugh that’s all too mischievous. All too playful. All too heart-wrenching. “She doesn’t know!” and they continue to laugh.

You turn away and try your hardest not to let tears escape from your eyes. It felt as if you were being laughed at. Like everyone knew that he was cheating. Everyone except you. It doesn’t help that there was a Zoe in the other class too. The way his friends laughed made your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and the tears you were so desperately holding back to finally flow through.

You ended up staying in the washroom for the whole of lunch time, staying in a cubicle for an extra few minutes, late for the next class.

Somehow you didn’t expect Childe to still show up in your classroom to pick you up for the day and walk you home. You stare at him at the classroom door, your eyes had already gone back to their normal shade, but still glossy. He doesn’t notice, he has a big smile on his face that mocks you. Ridicules you. 

“Y/N! Let’s go together today!” Does he feel guilty? Is that why he finally agrees to walk home with you? Cause he’s had his fill of Zoe already? You don’t say a word and exit the classroom, going past him. Childe blinks, and turns to watch you walking away from him. “Y/N?”

He walks after you, and takes his place next to you. He touches the strap of your backpack, as usual, and says “I’ll take this--”

“I got it,” you reply curtly and move away from him. He’s dumbfounded, eyes still a little wide at your sudden coldness. Now he’s getting anxious. Did he do something wrong? “H-Hey...Y/N, are you mad because I didn’t walk home with you the past couple days? See, I was just--”

“I’m not that petty!” You nearly growl at him, holding his gaze for a few seconds before walking off again. Your eyes are starting to prickle with more tears. You just wanted to get home. As soon as you can. Away from him. You didn’t have the heart to break up with him face to face. You liked him too much, you knew you wouldn’t be able to do it while looking at his handsome face. 

Then, he snatches your wrist and pulls you back towards him. The school hallways are emptying out, there’s a few students walking by who ignore the two of you. “Then what’s the matter? I don’t like it when we fight. At least tell me what I did!” 

You wrench your wrist away from his and start sniffing. He stands there, shocked at where your tears are coming from. Until you start talking. “I heard you, during lunch time,” his eyebrows furrow. “Lunch...time?” He mumbles, not following. “When you were talking about your cute Zoe!” He doesn’t say anything for a moment and that only confirms your fears. 

He’d been looking at other girls, and probably wanting them.

“...Y/N, Zoe is...” Childe scratched his cheek, averting his eyes away. 

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you try to turn away, but he doesn’t let you and holds your shoulders with his hands, staring straight at you. “My dog,” You were crying at this point, and when you hear his next words your eyes narrow. “W-What?”

“Zoe is my new dog,” 

“B-But your friend asked if you took her out yet...”

“Yeah,” Childe tilted his head, “for a walk?” As you start to connect the dots he takes out his phone and shows you the picture of a cute miniature poodle, it had a collar and a silver tag on it that said “Zoe”. You thought that you might cry again at how cute she was but you just glare up at Childe. “Well, I didn’t tell you cause I was gunna surprise you. I’ve been going home early these days cause we had to go visit the pound a few times and finalize the papers and everything...” 

“I-Is that true? Is that all it is?” You sniff, now wiping your stupid tears away. Childe smiles down at you and takes your hands away from your face, replacing it with his, thumbing away the streaks of wetness. “Y/N, no one can ever replace you,” you sniff and let him dote on you. You’d been missing him for a while anyway. 

“...Well except Zoe, maybe Zoe can,” he’s clearly teasing you and you don’t hesitate to lift your fist and punch him on the shoulder, earning a small “Ow,” from him followed by a laugh. “I’m just kidding, how ‘bout you come over and visit her today? It’s only her second day home!”

Thoma

You’d made an appointment with your friend a long time ago. Just a quick lunch and catch up date. Thoma had graciously volunteered to drive you to the mall where you were meeting up with her.

“You sure you don’t need me to pick you up? It’s Saturday. I’m free,” he flashes you a smile, his eyes darting towards you only for a second before going back to the road. “I’ll be fine hun, I’ll take the bus home,” you reply to him.

Halfway through your journey he says that he needs to buy something from a convenience store, and so he parks the car properly and grabs his wallet. His phone is on the car phone stand and you pay no heed to it until a soft ‘ding’ makes you pick your head up to look at the screen. 

Your best friend’s name pops up, she’s messaged him and your blood runs cold.

“I’ll come over when Y/N’s gone,” the message read. Your heart is already at your throat, and you don’t know what to think. What is this make-believe situation that you’re suddenly in. Is this really happening? Your eyes dart upwards to look at the door of the convenience store. You could see Thoma was still looking at the shelves.

You gulp and you wonder what the right thing to do is. Invade his privacy and peek at his messages? Let it go? Confront him? Cry? Another ‘ding’ fills up the car.

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So...” you couldn’t read the rest of the message, it being cut off but you were already spiraling down the hole of despair. How could he? Your sweet and loyal Thoma ended up going behind your back with your best friend. You thought you were going to be sick, you actually had to roll the windows of the car down to get some fresh air, just as Thoma came out of the convenience store door with a plastic bag. 

You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t even be in the same space as him. You were going to cancel today with your friend, you didn’t think you’d be able to function properly. When he sat on the driver’s seat and saw you looking out the window, he didn’t think much of it and revved the engine up. “Ready hu--”

“Take me to my sister’s place,” Thoma blinked and turned to you, confused. “But, what about your lunch date today, dear?”

“I don’t feel like going. My sister’s place is nearby, just drop me off there,” Your hands were already typing a reply to the friend that you were about to stand up on, but you couldn’t even think of what to do or say. 

“Dear is everything okay?” He asked while backing the car up, arm outstretched to your side while he’s looking at the rear. He was appalled by your sudden mood change. You didn’t answer but he hears you sniff and he immediately stops the car again. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” He’s alarmed that you’re crying and he reaches to cup your chin and tilt it towards him but you move your face away from him. 

“Y/N?” he asked, the confusion in his voice is actually genuine and you can hear a bit of panic in it. “How long have you been seeing Aya?” you spit the words as if they’re poison and the car is quiet. You laugh bitterly. “I thought so, cat got your tongue, huh?” 

Thoma shook himself out of his confusion to say, “No, wait, I don’t know what you mean,” You scoff at him. You’re shocked at the amount of resentment you had, you trusted this man and yet this is what happens. “Yeah? Why is she sneaking into our house then?” You point at his phone, the screen is still lit up because of the messages and there were more coming in from your best friend. 

Thoma snatches the phone away from the stand and looks at it. Then, he deflates and slumps back on his seat. “Y/N, it’s not what you think,” You hate that line so much. You cross your arms and say, “Just drop me at my sister’s house,” 

“Y/N--”

“NOW!”

The drive was quiet. You didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to push you but didn’t want to drop you off to your sister’s without explaining as well. So, just before your sister’s block, he parks on the side and unbuckles his seat belt, then opens your side of the door. “Y/N, listen to me,” he’s rarely this assertive, but you still don’t listen. He’s blocking your escape path. 

“It’s your birthday today,” Thoma starts and you blink, completely forgetting about it. “Ayu is sneaking in our house while you’re gone because we were going to set up a surprise for you.” He says slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. Your eyes widen, and you relax in your seat. He gives you his phone and urges you, “Go on, Y/N, you know my passcode right? I don’t hide anything from you, you can read the rest,” 

You hesitate, but accept his offer and type it in. 

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So we can set up the balloons,”

“I got the cake don’t forget the candles and lighter,”

Thoma picks up his other hand that had the white plastic bag from the convenience store, he picks up the two items from inside. Birthday candles. And a lighter. 

Your mouth opens, but you can’t say anything and you only bury your face in your hands out of shame. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry Thoma, I--” He manages to let out a laugh and kisses the top of your head. “I’m so stupid. I trust you, I really do, I just--” now you’re not sure if you’re crying out of relief or embarrassment. “I’m so sorry,” You can’t say anything else and he only kisses you on the forehead again.

“It’s alright, you can make it up to me by going on that lunch date, okay? You deserve the rest. You haven’t cancelled yet have you? Let’s freshen up at your sister’s place and I’ll send you to the mall,” 

You nod your head, small smile on your face. This was gunna be one story to tell in the future.

“Oh and it would help if you act surprised when you come home,” Thoma adds with a full laugh that you join in on. 

Kaeya

"So how are you and Y/N?”

It’d only been a couple of months of the two of you dating. Kaeya was handsome, gallant and he knew exactly what to say to people. It wasn’t a secret that he was quite popular in school. 

Little old you was just another girl in just another class.

“Good, I think,” Kaeya responds, you smile around the corner, hidden from sight, knowing that he was taking a juice box break with his friends. “It’s a little annoying though,” your smile drops and your head tilts sideways in question. “I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,” 

Keep me away? You think. Am I too clingy? You hear them exchange words a bit more, but none of the other words process in your head. Their laughter spurs you out of your thoughts and you return to your classroom dumbfounded. 

When the bell rang for dismissal you immediately packed and walked home by yourself. Kaeya was confused when he arrived at your classroom door, and found that you weren’t there anymore. “...Hey, did Y/N go home?” he asked one of your passing classmates. “Yeah, she went out pretty fast,”

Now he was worried. Did something happen at home? He takes his phone out as he’s out the school building, tapping your name and calling, only for the call to not even connect. His brows furrow but nonetheless, he goes home for today and types in a message for you.

“Hey, you okay? Talk to me if you need something,” 

The next day, when he usually waits outside your door for you to come out, he realizes that you’re a little late and further realizes that you weren’t going to come out. He wasn’t about to knock on your door, your parents didn’t know about him yet. 

He tries to call you again but he’s met with the same result as yesterday. He sighs and looks up at the sky while he’s walking. He hasn’t seen you for nearly a full day now, and he doesn’t realize how long a full day is until now. He just wants to see your smiling face again and he starts to wonder if he’d done something wrong. 

By lunchtime, he’s sprinting towards your classroom as soon as the bell rings, wondering if you were there. Indeed, finally, he spots you in your classroom and his shoulders slump in relief only to tense up again when he sees a guy in your class talking to you, and you, smiling happily. 

“Y/N,” he calls out to you, waving his hand. You look away from your conversation to him and he notices how your smile turns into a tight line on your face. His own smile drops, but you walk out of the classroom anyway and address him. “Yes?” He blinks down at your tone of voice. “U-Uh... Wanna have lunch together?” 

“...But it’s annoying that I’m clingy right?” The two of you unconsciously move away from the door to out in the hallway, so that you’re not blocking the way of people coming in and out. He narrows his eyes in confusion. Where is this coming from? “I--No, what do you mean? I never said that,” 

“Yesterday, you said you can’t keep me away and it’s annoying,” you averted your gaze, feeling your eyes start to water. Kaeya reels back a little, replaying things in his mind, trying to remember if he said something like that. And, with a light bulb moment, his face breaks into a grin and slight laughter. You glare up at him, “What? It’s funny?”

Kaeya places a hand on your shoulder and explains while smiling. “Y/N, you didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation, did you?”

---What really happened---

“It’s really annoying though. I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,” he sips on his juice box again.

One of his friends pipe up, “Dude that’s a little harsh,”

Kaeya blinks. Once, twice and thrice. Until it dawns on him. “Oh, no, I meant that I can’t keep her away from other people,” he grins and leans both his elbows on the windowsill. “She doesn’t realize that she’s super friendly, and other people like talking to her a lot. Whenever I go to her classroom she’s always talking to different people.”

His friends make a sound of understanding. “I wish I could just keep her to myself,” and continues sipping on his juice.

“That’s really cheesy, even for you, Kaeya,” one of his friends say and the lot of them starts laughing.

---That’s what really happened---

It was your turn to blink at him, confused. “S-So...”

Kaeya pats your head and smiles. “You can ask my friends if it makes you feel better,”

A small blush crosses your cheeks and you duck your head to hide it. It earns yet another chuckle from him. Your moment is interrupted by another guy who approaches the two of you. “Hey, Y/N, if you’re free, do you think you could help me out with this? I don’t really understand it,” 

Kaeya just looks at the guy and sighs, then turns to you again. “See what I mean?” to which you just goofily smile at. 

Kazuha 

“You saw what?”

Your hands freeze, holding the book you were reading open. The living room had gotten lively again, seeing as your little brother had come home from school. “I saw Kazuha with a girl,” 

You try to keep your face composed. It was a school day. You’d stayed home because you weren’t feeling too well. Your brother was saying it without a care in the world. He was just a grade schooler and telling you about the things he observed. He was looking through the fridge for something to drink. 

You didn’t ask more, but you were DYING to know more. Kazuha didn’t mention going anywhere today... You picked your phone up and wondered if you should ask him. Your phone had blown up this morning cause he didn’t see you at school and he was wondering if you were alright. 

But it seems that Kazuha himself was having a grand time too.

“So...T-The girl...Did they look close?”

Your little brother closes the fridge and looks at you while drinking from a milk carton. “Mm...They were holding each other...” You bit your lip as tingles run down your spine. They weren’t the good kind. It was the kind that you get when you watch horror movies and or a drama movie and a revelation had just happened. You were silent for a moment, but in your mind you were already thinking of how Kazuha looked with another girl. Holding each other? What did your brother mean? Like...hugging? Or...? But you couldn’t ask him about that, could you?!

You sighed out loud and slammed the book you were reading down on the table, just as your phone started ringing. “Kazuha,” you whispered under your breath and looked at your phone screen. Well...you believed in him, and you thought the best way to clear this up is to talk to him about it.

So, you grabbed your phone and retreated into your bedroom to talk to him. You picked up the call, “Kazu-kun?”

“Y/N,” he greeted. Even apart, his voice has this effect on you. Like he was really there and breathing into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You were sure that you were blushing. “How are you? Are you feeling better?” His voice is smooth and calm and you melt into your bed. “Yeah, a little,”

“Could I come over later? I just want to check on you,” You smile into your phone and close your eyes. Kazuha could never do that to you, you think to yourself. But still, you really wanted to ask. “Of course, I don’t think my parents would mind...Hey,” you start, your fingers nervously drawing circles on your pillow. “My brother said he saw you...with a girl,”

There’s silence on the other line, and you can hear him shifting a little. “A...girl?” He repeats the question and you bite your lip. He sounds unsure and now you were unsure too. “Yeah, he said that you were holding on to each other...or something,” Again some silence, until he makes a sound of understanding.

“Ah, he must mean Sango,” there’s a little lilt to his voice, like he was happy and you were a little jealous. “Sango’s my cousin, she came to surprise me for my birthday week.” Kazuha laughs nervously and adds a little hesitantly. “She...uhm...would like to meet you actually, is it okay if I bring her over today?” 

Your heart sighs in relief, as do you and you don’t realize that you’ve done that out loud. In the next moment though, you smile and nod, even though he can’t see you. “Of course! Bring her over!” 

Albedo (More fluff than angst)

Cleaning at home was one of the things you did to get your mind off of things. Some people would call it tedious, but to you, it was sort of relaxing. It was something easy to do, you didn’t need much of your brain, just motor memory. Folding. Laundry. Ironing. Sweeping. Basic chores.

But when you clean up in the bedroom you shared with your boyfriend, and found a neatly wrapped present, red wrapping paper and blue ribbon tied on the top with a tag that said “To: Leila” you’re a little dumbfounded.

Who’s Leila? Is your first thought. Your second thought is, what’s inside? You hold the nicely wrapped box in your hand and turn it all over, trying to get some type of hint. A flash of doubt seeps into your mind but you shake it away. Albedo isn’t like that...Is he? He’s always so dedicated to his scientific research and sure he comes home late sometimes but he always makes it up to you on the weekends...

So who’s Leila? You ask yourself again. And why hasn’t he mentioned it to you? Why didn’t he ask YOU to wrap it? Menial tasks like these were usually passed on to you. You bite your thumb just thinking about it, but in the end just leave the present where you find it.

Later that night as you’re fixing dinner, you aren’t as bothered by the gift as when you first saw it. But it’s still there at the back of your mind and it resurfaces to the front when you hear the familiar keys rattle. Despite that, as he snakes his arms around your waist from behind you can’t help but smile and melt a little, pressing back against him as he leans over to kiss your cheek. “...Smells nice,” he simply mumbles and closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of both you and your home.

“Welcome back,” you say, while closing the lid on the pot and turning around to give him a proper kiss on the lips. He hums into the kiss as a response and pulls you away from the stove. “How’s your day?” he asks you first and you smile, because your day is nearly the same time and time again. “Fine, I did find a little secret though...” you start and peek up at his beautiful eyes. 

He nods to ask you to continue. “A present, nicely wrapped. and it’s addressed to someone called Leila,” He looks down at you and you stare at him. A moment passes by before he takes his arms back and go into his thinking pose. “...Leila...?” he asks, eyes averting from your gaze. You wonder if he’s pretending. You wonder if he’s trying to make an excuse up. “...I don’t--” and then his eyebrows twitch. “Ah,” he says and drops his arms to his side.

“We were invited to a birthday party, remember? By a co-worker,” he tucks in strands of your hair as he talks. “It’s her daughter’s first birthday...I don’t care much for such things but you insisted it’d be alright to go.” he chuckles a little. “Her daughter’s name is Leila,” 

You make a sound of understanding. Suddenly your hesitant thoughts wither away. “Hmmm? You could’ve asked me to wrap the present,” Albedo pulls away from you and towards the fridge, wanting a glass of water. “The wrapping wasn’t done by me, it was the shop, free service,” and so it made more sense.

And although you want to ask more questions, like where he got it, when and what’s inside, you realize it’s such a trivial thing. It was not worth that much time. A gift is a gift, and you turn back to continue making dinner while making idle conversation with him. 

Zhongli (Warning: Suggestive) (but this is also my personal favourite... aha...)

“Zhongli?” You arrive home a little early today, dropping your keys at the front shelf. You don’t hear him anywhere and you shuffle around your living room for a while, looking at the letters for today. 

He was on a work from home arrangement today, and he would usually be in his office. You were quite sure that he would’ve come out to greet you though, if he heard you. He must be busy at the moment. 

You’d wanted to wash your hands as soon as you came home, and went for the guest washroom. When you open the door, your eyes land on something on the counter, next to the sink. This bathroom was always kept clean for visitors. You liked to host people once in a while, or just invite friends and you took pride in having them comfortable in your house.

Your eyes narrow as you go closer and your hands pick up a pregnancy test that was lying there. 

It was positive.

You put it back down and shudder a little. You don’t remember getting a pregnancy test. You bite your lip and look at yourself in the mirror. You’re already jumping to conclusions, and you can’t help it. Who the hell would leave a pregnancy test in YOUR guest bathroom? Zhongli didn’t mention anything...

You sigh a breath out and close the bathroom door behind you, taking your phone out to text your best friend.

“There’s a positive pregnancy test in our guest bathroom,”

After a moment, there’s a reply.

“OMG Are you preggers?!”

“No, it’s not mine,”

The next reply takes a moment more. “Oh, maybe ask him?” and you know that your friend hadn’t known what to reply at that moment. Because a random positive pregnancy test in your guest bathroom was NOT a good sign. To top it off, you didn’t announce to Zhongli that you were coming home early today.

Your perk up when you hear noise from the other room. You open the bathroom door slightly, and hear the unmistakable low voice of your fiance, coupled with...the voice of another woman. You close the bathroom door again, not bothering to lock it, and sit on the closed toilet seat. You’re sitting there with nothing in your mind, unable to think.

A few minutes later the voices are louder, they’ve moved to the living room, right outside the bathroom you were in. You tense up, and your jaw tightens. You don’t want to see them. You don’t want to hear them. For a moment you wish that you didn’t come home early, and just pretend this didn’t happen, but the door to the bathroom door opens, leaving you eye to eye with a woman you recognize.

Luna was a beautiful woman. Long cascading brown hair, they’re wavy and stops right at her waist. Doll-like blue eyes and a slender body. She sees you sitting there and you feel stupid, but she just breaks into a grin. “Y/N!” she grabs you by the wrist and pulls you out of the bathroom before you could even say anything. You’re numb, so you don’t respond to anything around you.

Zhongli turns around wide-eyed to see you standing there meekly, not meeting his gaze. He still goes to you though and asks curiously. “When did you come in? I didn’t hear you,” he places a hand on your arm while Luna releases you, but you still don’t look up and he wonders if something happened at your workplace to make you come home so early. “Luna and Childe stopped by,” Zhongli says, in at attempt to cheer you up. You look up, and only then did you realize that Childe was there too, talking animatedly to Luna. You tilt your head sideways, “They came with a surprise. Ah, but it’s not mine to tell,” 

That’s right... Luna and Childe had been together for a while and then it hits you when Luna shows you the same positive pregnancy test you saw on the counter, and announces that she’s pregnant. Your eyes are wide. You can’t tell if you’re more relieved that it wasn’t what you thought or more happy for your friends. You feel horrible about it but you manage to crack a smile and went along with the festivities. The more time passed the more you were able to enjoy their happiness and by the time they left, that was the only time you sighed and let your shoulders slump, exhausted.

“Is something the matter?” Zhongli asked. He noticed how your smiles were a tad bit forced. How you seemed to enjoy everything but also seemed to be on edge. You turn to him and shook your head. “It’s...stupid. It’s my mistake,” but he holds on to your waist and urges you to tell him.

And you tell him. How you came home and saw what you saw in the guest bathroom, what you thought it was and how you felt. The only thing you can feel now is embarrassment and shame. You couldn’t even feel happy for your friend. Zhongli only smiles and combs his hand through your hair. “It’s the normal reaction,” he reassures you, again trying to make you feel better. You only respond with your own hug but his next sentence makes you flustered, all thoughts of earlier gone as he whispers into your ear.

“Would you like your own positive pregnancy test?”

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#zhongli x reader #genshin angst #genshin fluff #zhongli angst #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #kaeya x reader #thoma x reader #kazuha x reader #albedo x reader #thoma angst #albedo fluff #childe angst #tartaglia angst

[katsuhera]

paranoia

pairing: bakugou katsuki x f!reader tw/warnings: nsfw (18+), dumbification, alcohol, some choking, some degradation, some cockwarming, canon au but not relevant to story, aged up characters (18) wc: 4k

“paranoia, anyone?” kaminari asked, wriggling his eyebrows at the group. tonight was a chill drinking night, celebrating the start to summer vacation.

“ooh! i’m down,” mina exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands together. you sat in the corner, just blissfully happy and quiet. you hadn’t drunk too much yet, but you could undoubtedly feel a light buzzing coursing throughout your veins, enough to make you just want to sit and recalibrate as everyone else moved animatedly around you.

“what’s that again?” kirishima asked, sipping his drink. “i forgot how to play, i think.”

“okay, okay, wait, let’s all sit in a circle,” kaminari started, waving his hands around. “it’ll be easier that way.”

“tch,” bakugou scoffed, a surly look on his face as kirishima forced him to scoot closer to the rest of the group. “do we have to? this is probably a shitty game.”

“relax, it’s fun, i swear,” mina assured him, her gentle hand on your shoulder encouraging you to scoot in closer as well. “one of my favorite drunk games! i promise.”

“okay, so here’s how we play,” kaminari said. “we go in a circle, like clockwise or counter-clockwise, whatever, and each person whispers a question to whoever’s next to them, and the answer has to be the name of someone in this room.”

“it sounds kind of complicated but you’ll understand once we play,” mina said. “so, for example, i’m sitting next to kirishima – i will ask him a question that only he can hear, like, ‘who has the coolest quirk?’ and he’ll say like ‘todoroki,’ or something, out loud for everyone to hear. and if todoroki wants to know what the question was, he has to take a shot, and then kirishima will expose the question.”

kaminari nodded, adding on: “it goes like that, but usually the questions get… spicy.” he smiled toothily, his eyes sparkling with a mischievous glint to them. “all questions are fair game! let’s not be mean, though.”

“let me grab some drinks, but you guys can get started!” mina said, getting up and heading off to the kitchen.

you glanced around the circle, giggling inwardly at how dazed iida and some of your other classmates seemed. iida in particular never really got around to drinking much, but when he did, he was predictably a lightweight.

everyone else seemed to be fine and vibing, and you curled your knees into your chest as you got comfortable, waiting for the game to start. drinking games were always fun with your class, especially when mina and the rest of their squad took control.

“who wants to go first?” kaminari asked, looking around.

“i can,” todoroki volunteered quietly, surprising everyone else.

“oh? bet, then go ahead and ask bakugo a question. we’ll go counter-clockwise, then,” kaminari piped up, getting up a little to help mina set the bottles of alcohol and plastic shot glasses down in the middle.

a hushed silence fell over the group as todoroki sat pensively, thinking of a question, before leaning in to bakugou’s grimacing face.

“what a stupid question,” bakugou snickered, and answered without missing a beat. “deku.”

everyone nearly snapped their necks to turn around and look at midoriya.

“do you want to know what the question was?” mina asked.

midoriya shook his head violently. “i think i’m good.”

bakugou sneered before cracking his neck and pausing to think of a question for kirishima.

“hurry up, bro,” kirishima teased, earning a scowl from bakugou.

“shut the fuck up,” he growled, leaning in to whisper his question.

you loved watching their best friend dynamic. bakugou was normally on everyone’s bad side, his antagonizing manner turning most people who met him off from interacting with him ever again. but with the way he interacted with kirishima, you knew that he probably had a softer side that he was either too embarrassed of or insecure to let on.

you felt your cheeks flush as you lost yourself in thought, staring at the redhead and the blonde – well, mostly the blonde, and the way his triceps flexed smoothly as bakugou leaned on his arm to get closer to kirishima.

“what are you staring at?” mina whispered excitedly in your ear. startled, you snapped your head to the side to look at her.

“nothing, nothing,” you murmured, embarrassed. if mina knew, you’d never hear the end of it.

“um...,” kirishima started, his pale cheeks flushed crimson as he prefaced his response to bakugou’s question. his eyes darted worriedly around the circle, lingering for a bit on jirou. “jirou… i think.”

jirou’s head immediately shot up from its cozy spot on kaminari’s shoulder, narrowing her eyes as she looked at kirishima. “shot,” she demanded, eliciting laughs from the group. mina poured one out for her and handed it over, giggling as jirou downed it easily, not even a hint of a wince on her face.

“what was the question?” she asked, looking straight at kirishima, making him blush even further.

“who here is…” his voice trailed off meekly.

“who here’s most likely to have a daddy kink,” bakugou grinned, his vermillion eyes glinting with amusement. “interesting… jirou, hah? i can see it.”

you smiled as you watched their interaction spiral – you’d never seen jirou more embarrassed in her life. kaminari watched on in mild amusement, though you could tell that the tips of his ears were also red.

interesting, maybe it is true, you mused to yourself. can’t blame her, though.

“my turn! ask me a question, kiri,” mina said, clapping her hands and sipping her drink.

kirishima paused in thought before covering his lips and her ear with his hand.

“stop!” mina laughed, gently slapping his shoulder. “you really asked me this knowing who i’d say?”

“yeah,” kirishima chuckled. “go on, say it.”

“mr. bakugou katsuki,” mina said, rolling her eyes. “you want a shot, right?”

“tch,” he responded, grabbing the bottle. “tell me the damn question.”

mina waited for the alcohol to make its way down his throat before she exposed herself.

“‘who here do i think will get married last?’”

“and you said me?” he asked, indignant. “oi, raccoon eyes–”

“oh my god, relax,” she replied offhandedly. “clearly it’s because you’re going to be the number one hero or whatever and you won’t have time for marriage. anyway, i get to ask y/n next!”

bakugou growled, but left it alone, choosing to sit and glower at her instead.

“i’ve got a good one,” mina smirked, and immediately you knew that you were in for a tricky question.

“who here would you fuck?” she whispered, giggling as she pulled away and watched for your reaction.

you knew it was coming. not necessarily to you, but you knew that question was coming. it’s always asked. you sighed, regretting not sitting next to deku or momo who probably would have gone easy on you with the questions.

good lord mina, you thought frustratedly, putting your palm to your forehead.

“i hate you,” you said, monotoned, much to mina’s glee. “i need a shot before i answer.”

“here you go, bestie!” she replied, immediately pouring one out for you.

everyone else looked on eagerly, murmuring as you downed the shot, making a face as the alcohol burned its way down your throat.

“damn, what kind of question needs a shot before getting answered?” kaminari asked aloud, watching you with wide eyes.

you took a deep breath, looking around the group and trying to decide on who to choose. but your actions were futile; for you, there was only one answer – and there had only ever been one answer, really.

“... bakugou,” you said finally, hesitating to make eye contact with him.

“oh?” he said, cocking an eyebrow. “shot, raccoon eyes.”

“i already poured one for you!” she said happily, handing it to him. within a second, his cup was empty.

“so? spit it out, y/n,” he grinned.

“who here… would i fuck,” you said the last word with finality, anticipating the hoots and chuckles you’d get from the group.

“this is such a lewd conversation,” iida interjected abruptly, waving his hands towards the middle of the circle. “we shouldn’t–”

“you’d fuck bakugou?” kaminari asked you, his eyes wide with shock. “why?”

“what do you mean?” you felt blood rush to your face, engulfing you in slight embarrassment as you actively tried to avoid the gleaming crimson eyes that were boring holes into the side of your skull.

“i can see it, i think,” momo said, smiling at you. you were sure that what she said was meant to be reassuring, but you weren’t so sure of how helpful it was at the moment.

“so, bakugou, got anything to say?” kirishima asked with a wink, slapping his friend’s shoulder.

he was uncharacteristically silent as the rest of your peers held their breath, waiting for his response.

“tch,” he started, eyes darting to yours. “just that i’m not surprised.”

you held his gaze somewhat defiantly, thanks to the alcohol. sober you would have cast your eyes down immediately, praying for the moment to be over.

“okay, okay! next, next – gotta keep the game moving,” mina said, not wanting you to have to stay in the spotlight for too long. “y/n, ask kaminari something.”

your mind was undeniably foggy with the way you could feel bakugou’s eyes burning into your head, and you weren’t even sure how you were able to come up with a question on the spot. you muttered something stupid about who would be most likely to get robbed, and thankfully, his answer and the following questions kept the game moving along smoothly.

as the night progressed, everyone found themselves drunker and more comfortable with each other, though the questions had definitely gotten spicier. as uraraka rested her head on midoriya’s lap and jirou found herself leaning into kaminari’s arm, you couldn’t help but smile at how cute they looked. your class had come a long way since your first year together.

“i’m going to pee,” you announced, getting up and wobbling as the alcohol rushed to your head.

“oh shit, are you good?” mina asked, getting up to try and stabilize you, despite not being too stable herself.

“yeah, yeah, i’m fine,” you said, waving her off. “bathroom’s right there, i’ll be good.”

you stumbled your way over, stepping delicately over kirishima’s legs as you cut through the circle.

you used your time in the bathroom alone to try and sober yourself up. the sensation of the running cold water on your skin seemed to wake you up, and you examined yourself in the mirror.

fuck… i’m drunk, you thought after a couple of moments, giggling at the realization. disheveled strands of hair framed your face, and your eyes stayed unfocused no matter how hard you tried to get them to focus. you sighed, thinking that that was the best it was going to get, accepting your probable future hangover.

you opened the door, wringing your hands dry when an unfamiliar hand grabbed at your wrist, swallowing it in its large palm.

“bakugou?” you gasped, startled. “what…? is something wrong?”

he continued to stare at you, his large figure slowly backing you up into the wall, his body encaging you.

“did you mean it?” he asked lowly.

“what?”

“don’t be stupid,” he said impatiently. “your answer to raccoon eyes’ question.”

oh.

“i…,” you spoke hesitantly. how the fuck were you even supposed to answer that? “yeah, i guess.”

“you ‘guess’? is that a yes or a no?” he stepped in closer, backing you impossibly closer into the wall. you cowered from his stare, his body suddenly seeming much larger than you’d ever noticed before.

“i mean, yeah, i would,” your voice came out small, despite all of the mock defiance you held in your stare just an hour prior. “happy?”

he paused, holding his breath and searching your face intently. his expression was unreadable; normally, his lips were pulled into a grimace – but now, they sat in a neutral position. his eyes were the only elements of his face that gave away some semblance of emotion.

“... yeah,” he replied finally. “you could say that.”

“huh?” you asked, confused.

“come,” bakugou replied simply, tugging at your wrist and heading for the bedrooms upstairs.

“what? where are we going?” you could barely keep up with his strides. “bakugou, they’ll notice if we’re gone–”

“let them,” he sneered. “everyone’s pretty much knocked out, anyway.”

your heart throbbed in your chest as you followed him up the stairs, still slightly shell-shocked by his actions.

there’s no way this is happening right now, you thought incredulously, the only thing grounding you being the feeling of his hand on your wrist. well, i guess i didn’t lie – i would fuck him, you thought, observing the way his back muscles rippled through his black tank top. you weren’t lying – you just never thought he’d take you up on it.

you rounded the corner, realizing suddenly that he was taking you to his room – his private, secluded room that no one in the class had so far had the privilege of seeing.

“your room, bakugou? what an honor,” you giggled teasingly.

“shut it,” he growled, but you knew that he was all bark and no bite at this point.

his pace was fast and before you knew it, you were already in his room, pushed up against his door with your wrists pinned against it as he towered over you.

“you should have said something earlier, princess, maybe this would have happened a long time ago,” he said, his breath hot on your neck.

you opened your mouth to respond, but were interrupted by his lips on yours, urgent and passionate.

his tongue danced with yours as your teeth gnashed slightly; the both of you were drunk and sloppy, falling into each other as you let your thoughts swirl into nothingness.

he pressed his hips forward into yours, and you gasped slightly at the feeling of his cock stiffening behind his sweats. automatically, you rolled your hips into his, eliciting a low groan from him.

“not gonna last very long if you keep doing that, princess,” he murmured against your lips.

“huh? aiming to be a pro hero and you can’t handle that?” you teased, but were swiftly cut off as his right hand circled your neck, his left finding purchase against the small of your back as he swiveled you around to toss you on his bed.

“oi, don’t test me,” bakugou said, immediately hovering over you, supporting himself with both hands on each side of you and his knee in between your thighs.

he leaned in to suck at your neck, his hand sliding under your shirt to grasp at your breast, rolling your pebbled nipple between his fingers.

a dull ache started to pulse in your core, and you could feel yourself getting wetter, soaking the thin panties you wore. it didn’t help that with his ministrations, bakugou pressed his knee harder into you, as if knowing that you were desperate for some friction.

you arched your back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck and trying to bring him closer to you.

“desperate slut,” he chuckled darkly, nipping at your neck. “you’re lucky i wanted this, too.”

“oh? is that a confession, bakugou?” you asked smugly.

“you wish,” he replied snarkily, fisting your shirt and tugging it up, exposing your breasts. he moved his head down, planting wet kisses across your chest while pulling your bra down, the soft flesh spilling out of the restraining fabric.

a light buzzing filled your body – anticipation mixed with alcohol, and your mind was blurry, unable to focus on a single thought at a time. you laced your fingers into his hair, tugging softly at the blonde locks as his tongue lapped gentle circles over your nipple.

he brought his other hand down to pull at the waistband of your sleep shorts, and you lifted your hips, making it easier for him. as his fingers met your clothed cunt, he laughed darkly, sending a shiver down your spine.

“this wet for me, princess?”

you inadvertently tried to close your thighs, an attempt to hide the unmistakable dark spot that had formed at the crotch of your panties.

“no no, don’t hide,” he crooned, dipping his finger below the waistband of the lace cloth. “where’s all the brattiness from earlier, hmm?”

“tch,” you scoffed, tugging harder at his hair as you were at a loss of words.

smoothly, he pulled the fabric down, a low moan falling from his throat as he watched the string of slick that connected you to your panties.

slowly, he glided a finger up your entrance, gathering your arousal on it before shoving it into your mouth, forcing you to clean it off. he watched each and every one of your movements – like a hawk watching its prey.

not wanting to be the only one exposed, you moved your hand down to tug gently at his sweats, silently asking him to take them off. he listened, removing them easily and throwing his sweats and boxers across the room.

“you look so fucking pretty under me, you know that?” he asked, enamored by the way your cheeks hollowed out as you sucked his finger clean. “wish we could have done this earlier.”

he slapped his cock on your cunt teasingly before sliding the swollen head up and down your entrance, eliciting small whines from you. you’d never felt more needy in your life – just the mere feeling of his cock near your pussy drove you nearly insane with want, the desire to be filled up.

without warning, he pushed the head in, grinning at the gasp you emitted.

“fuck!” you breathed, eyebrows furrowed as you felt yourself already having to stretch to accommodate him.

“i’ve barely even done anything,” he responded, his grin growing even cockier. slowly, he pushed further inside you, holding back his own moans as he felt your fleshy walls clench around him. “fuck, you’re fucking tight though, princess.”

it burned for a second before the pain dissipated, and you found yourself craving more. you rolled your hips into his again, needing movement.

“tch,” he said, feeling your hips grind into his. “so needy.”

he pulled out slowly before thrusting into you again, hard and fast, ignoring the mewls and whines that had started to bubble up your throat.

you couldn’t even bring yourself to speak, so preoccupied were you with the sensation of being so, so full that you couldn’t form coherent thoughts.

with each thrust of his hips, your breasts bounced enticingly, causing bakugou to chew the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from showing any sign of vulnerability. but it was too difficult – you were just so pretty, a fucked-out mess underneath him.

the sound of skin slapping skin filled the air, to the point where you were sure that if any of your friends on the floor below listened closely enough, they could figure out what was happening.

“baku-gou, too l-loud,” you gasped, trying to choke out the words despite the pace at which he was going.

“so? they’re just extras, let them hear,” he growled, pounding into you particularly hard for good measure.

you couldn’t hold back your moans any longer, all of them spilling out at once, falling upon his ears like music.

“god- fuck, bakugou,” you panted, your nails leaving angry red marks on his back.

wordlessly, he moved a finger to your clit, rubbing small circles into it, sending jolts of pleasure through you.

your legs spasmed around him, and you wrapped them tightly around his hips, slowing his movements but unable to fully stop them. you were dangerously approaching your orgasm, and you could feel your vision start to glaze over – the only thing you could make out was the image of his eyes, red and shining, staring at you, as if willing you to cum.

your nails dug crescent-shaped marks into his flesh as you approached the edge. “‘m gonna c-cum,” you managed, creasing your forehead in concentration.

he pressed his finger harder into your puffy clit, his strokes becoming longer and more deliberate.

“yeah? then go ahead and cum, princess.”

waves of hot ecstasy rolled over you, pure bliss washing your mind blank of any thoughts. bakugou’s own hips stuttered as you clenched around him, convulsing as you rode out your orgasm.

“christ, y/n, feels so fucking good,” he muttered, letting you ride it out for a bit longer before he flipped you onto your stomach, fisting your hair.

“ah!” you cried out, your walls still fluttering around him despite the pain you felt from your scalp.

he pressed a palm into your lower back, forcing you into a deeper arch as he started to pound into you again, his head lolling back in pleasure.

bakugou couldn’t get enough of the way your ass bounced with each thrust, and he grabbed onto your left hip for support, starting to quicken his pace.

“mmnh–, more, bakugou,” you pleaded, your eyes rolling back as your tongue peeked through your parted lips. you gave up on trying to think – you gave in entirely to him.

“more? fucking slut,” he said, but in truth, your mewls and moans went straight to his dick, forcing him closer and closer to his own threatening climax.

you’d started to back your ass into him, too, matching his pace, and it was nearly too much for him to bear.

“shit,” he hissed. “‘m gonna cum, princess.”

“inside, please–!” you gasped, desperate to feel yourself filled to the brim with his cum.

that was enough for him, and he let go, shooting white hot spurts of cum into you, painting your walls white with his seed.

he cursed, feeling his cock twitch inside of you as it softened, despite the way you continued to clench around him, sucking up all of his cum and refusing to let go.

you whined as he pulled out, the sensation of cool air suddenly surrounding your pussy making you sensitive. bakugou watched, entranced, as trickles of cum oozed out from your entrance before he stuffed some back in with his finger.

gently, he helped you onto your back and flopped to your side, quiet, pensive. you lay catching your breath, but suddenly felt the urge to cover yourself up.

as if he could read your mind, he got up and got dressed, leaving the room.

is that… it? you thought, suddenly apprehensive. you, too, wanted to get dressed, but the trickle of cum making its way down your legs was too uncomfortable.

within seconds, bakugou re-entered the room, a wet rag in hand.

“you’re back?” you asked, wide-eyed.

“what? yeah, i left to get this,” he responded, confused and holding up the rag. “did you think i’d leave you like this?”

“... dunno,” you responded, a little taken aback.

he knelt by the bed, cleaning you up gently and sliding your panties back up your legs.

you’d started to become more clearheaded, despite the alcohol still buzzing throughout your system.

“i didn’t know you wanted this, too,” you said quietly, after a few pauses of silence. briefly, you wondered if you would have had the courage to be so honest if not for the alcohol.

“... i always did,” he responded, averting his gaze and instead shifting his attention to finding your shorts.

your heart beat wildly in your chest as you watched his face, pale with a rosy tint to his cheeks, his handsome features illuminated by the moonlight that peeked through his curtains.

“really?”

“yes, shitty woman,” he grunted, evoking a little giggle from you as he finally seemed back to his usual, grumpy self. “‘cause i fucking like you, y/n. got it?”

he what?

did you hear him correctly? you blinked rapidly, your breath hitching in your throat as he made eye contact with you, his stare intense and piercing.

when you didn’t respond, he looked down, embarrassed.

“you don’t have t–”

“i like you, too,” you responded quickly, hoping that he’d look at you again. “for a while, actually.”

bakugou hesitated before getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed. he reached his hand out, stroking your cheek with the pad of his thumb, leaning in to press a light kiss to your forehead.

“sleep here tonight?”

you smiled, butterflies fluttering about in your stomach.

“of course.”

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[futuremrsreid]

Baby Steps

Request: @gubswh0re requested: "hi! could you do 20,25 & 48 from the promt list all in one? would be amazing, thank you!!"

Summary: A case gone wrong and Spencer blames himself. Reader tries to make him feel better.

Couple: Spencer Reid x reader

Category: hurt/comfort, angst, a bit of fluff if you never felt happiness before

CW: sad as fuck uhm I lowkey broke my own heart but its also really sweet

Word Count: 1,9k

If I had to describe Spencer Reid handling his emotions in two words, they would be “quiet suffering”. In the two years I have known him he only opened up a handful of times. Not in the sense of him never talking about his past or things that happened to him, but whenever he talked about these things, he tells them like one of his facts. He tells you that his mother has schizophrenia, but he doesn't tell you how he feels about it. It always reminds me of a medical anamnesis.

On rare occasions, he would break. Everything became too much, even for him. I remember the first time I witnessed it very clearly. It was after he visited his mom for a few days and, from what he told me, she was in such a bad condition that she didn’t even recognize him. He was devastated and when he was on his way back he drove straight to my apartment, not knowing how to deal with everything. Spencer didn’t call or text before he arrived there and saying I was surprised when I opened my door doesn't even come close. His eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks. Truth be told, I was very overwhelmed so I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled him inside and hugged him as hard as humanly possible. 

In the office everyone always jokes about Dr Reid and his fear of human touch, but he hugged me back so hard that breathing became just a little difficult, and in that moment I realized the reason he doesn’t hug people isn’t because of his fear of bacteria. It’s because of the closeness of it. My heart cracked then.

The next discovery I made was that Spencer is a quiet cryer. I didn’t even notice it until his tears started seeping through my shirt and I could feel the wetness. I don’t know how long we stood there, but when I could feel him calming down a bit, I pulled away just enough to be able to look at him. He was extremely embarrassed and started to pull away completely to cover his face with his hands, but I’m too stubborn for that, so I grabbed his wrists and made him look at me. He started crying again then. 

It took an hour until he started telling me what got him so upset and after that we talked the whole night, about his mother, her sickness and everything related to it. I always hoped that he would open up about it eventually, but when he finally did, I couldn’t handle it very well. I tried not to cry myself, but that is hard when the person you love most breaks down in front of you like that. 

That night I held him close, let him lie on my chest, played with his hair - everything to try and make his pain go away. And after that day I thought things would have changed, that he would stop hiding and open up more to me,  but I was very wrong. When he woke up the next morning he apologized about a hundred times and no words or reassurance made him less ashamed. Afterwards he tried to act like nothing had ever happened.

So in conclusion: I had done a lot of difficult tasks in my life, but getting Spencer Reid to talk about his feelings was by far the most difficult. Nonetheless, today was one of those rare days.

We just came back from a really shitty case that resulted in more victims than it should have due to the police department holding back evidence. It was messy and frustrating and exhausting. Spencer was there when one of the victims was shot and he blamed himself for not preventing it, even though we all told them that there was no chance that he could have done it.

And as if the case itself wasn't bad enough, we were stuck for more time back in the office to do the paperwork. When the clock turned 8 pm Hotch came out of his office to tell us to go home. We all sighed in relief and started packing up our things. All of us except a particular dr. He was still sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer. I watched him for a while, contemplating what to do, and after everyone said their goodbyes, I walked over to him.

“Come on. I’ll take you home”, I said, leaning on his desk trying to catch his eyes with mine. No luck.

“I still have work to do, I’ll take the subway home later.” He continued typing like i wasn’t even there and I got frustrated. The case was already bad enough and I would not stand here watching him torture himself.

“That wasn’t a request, Spencer.” I didn’t intend to sound so harsh but hey, at least it made him look at me. “We are gonna leave. Now.” He opened his mouth to protest and closed it again, he knew better than to argue with me. My eyes said it all: If he would stay, I would stay. And since Spencer Reid cares about everyone but himself, he closed his computer and packed up his things.

The walk to my car was quiet, and so were the first 5 minutes of driving. I kept glancing at him from the driver's seat, but he was looking out of the window, lost in thought. The guy on the radio made a stupid comment and normally he would have immidiatly complained, but it seemed like he didn’t even hear it. His brain is a beautiful place with a million facts and ideas, yet I can imagine how scary it can be as well. When Spencer gets really lost in his thoughts he begins to spiral and I can just guess that that is what happened at that moment. Only then I came to the conclusion that he wanted to stay and work because that would distract him from anything going on inside. 

“Talk to me, Spence.” My tone was pleading, practically begging at this point.

“I’m fine, y/n.” I sighed. I was thinking about just letting it go, but then I thought about him alone in his apartment, stuck in this beautiful scary brain of his. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I took a deep breath. If you're lost, stick to what you know.

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”, he turned to me with a quizzical expression on his face.

“Do you trust me?”, I asked again, looking him in the eyes this time.

“Of course I trust you. Why are you even asking me this?”

“We’re making a detour. I’m gonna show you something.” My words didn’t leave room for questions so we just fell silent again. He continued to watch me with a questioning look, but i tried to ignore him. I was too focused on taking the right turns anyway. It was hard to find my way in the dark, but 5 minutes later we were there. I got out of the car and waited for Spencer to do the same and after he did, he seemed more confused than ever. I walked over to the familiar building and fished for a key at the same moment. 

“What is this place?”

“It’s an art gallery. My mom used to work here.” I found what I was looking for and started to unlock the door.

“And you just have a key to this place?” If the circumstances were different, I would have laughed at his confusion, however, the circumstances weren’t different.

“Yep.” The door opened and I looked for the light switch. “Come on, just follow me.” 

I led us up the 5 flights of stairs and then, after 2 more doors we were finally there. The place that has been the only place I called home for the years before I joined the team.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? We’re not breaking in right now, are we?” At this I did laugh. I stepped further onto the rooftop. 

“Relax Spence, we are not breaking any laws.” He was still hesitant so I took his hand and pulled him to the edge. The railing was high, meaning there was no danger of falling down. I let go of his hand and leaned on it. The building was on a small hill and since it had a few stories, you were able to look over a big part of the city. It was always a beautiful view, but that night was extra special. It was a Friday in the late summer, which didn’t only mean the sky was clear, there were also a lot of traffic lights and buildings that shone bright. 

I just watched and after a few minutes Spencer stood beside me and did the same. Some time passed before I broke the silence.

“How many people are living in the US?” He didn’t hesitate before answering. It was like a reflex for him by now. I liked to ask random questions all the time and to this day, he always had an answer.

“331.002.651 people.” I paused for a few seconds.

“You can’t protect all of them, Spencer.”

“Y/n I-”

“I mean it, Spence. It is humanly impossible to protect everyone. You can protect some of them, maybe even a lot, but you won’t ever be able to do that if you keep beating yourself up over incidents like today.” He sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but I wasn’t done. “I know how you feel and I know it’s not easy. There was no chance for you to save that girl, Spencer. Zero. And if you can’t accept that, you will lose yourself. And then you won’t be able to save anyone anymore.” I know it was harsh, however, sometimes that's the only language he understands.

“You could have said all of that in the car.” He paused. “Why did you take me here?” I didn’t expect him to comment on what I said. He knew I was right, that’s all I needed.

“My mom sometimes took me with her on her shifts and after she was done we would go up here. After she died the owner gave me a key so that I could come here every time I needed it. Or needed her.”

“Do you come here often?”

“Not anymore. This place was the only thing making me feel at home for years and I came almost every day, but when I started working at the BAU I stopped going here more and more. And now I don’t really need it anymore, because my apartment finally started feeling like home. Especially when you are there.” I looked at him while saying that last sentence and I saw him smile for the first time in days. His eyes caught mine.

“Thank you, y/n.” Those words could have many different meanings. Thank you for taking me here. Thank you for staying. Thank you for making me feel better. But it didn’t matter what he meant, because I knew.

“Do you want to go home?”

“I think I’d like to stay for a bit longer.”

And that's what we did. We stayed there for hours. That night we talked through every possible way of how Spencer could have acted differently, yet every scenario ended with the death of that girl. After that he finally accepted that it wasn’t his fault. Baby steps.

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #reider #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #this one hurt ngl

[lebrookestore]

tape 5: play

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x reader

Themes: angst, ex! au, college-ish au, small town au. It goes back and forth a lot

Warnings: heavy angst, bittersweet ending, swearing, its very sad, chenle is a jerk

Wc: 6k

Playlist: 2 kids by Taemin, Gone by Rosé, Instagram by Dean, I still do by Why Don’t We, Believed by Lauv

Taglist: @danishmiilk @channoticedmeuwu @chicksung @1-800-seo @blueprint-han @jenosslut @cupidluvstarrz @kkakkdugi @sweetlyjaem @vera-liscious @leetaeyonglover @kunrengui @unknown5tar @kisshim @intokook @mrkcore @coco-riki

Summary: A year after your boyfriend moved away, you find yourself sitting in your room with five tapes, earphones, a cassette player and what you hoped, and feared, was closure.

Authors Note: hello! this fic was supposed to be a small blurb but then i got inspired and lo and behold its a full fledged fic! I can’t believe I wrote this in two days sdfjfjkfjk. Feedback would be very much appreciated for this, since I’ve never written anything like this before ;-;

Midtown, almost got a place out of midtown, Instead I took a plane out of this town, And missed out on us 

~

It was a sunny Saturday morning, as you pulled into your driveway, coming back from the store. 

Parking the car and getting the bags, you walked up to the door, knocking it and waiting. You were met with your mother’s smiling face as she took one of the bags of groceries from you.

You lived in a small sleepy town, and attended the college there as well, which meant you still stayed with your parents. You were fine with that, you liked living there, and you could forgo the stress and anxiety of having to re adjust to a new place.

This was your home. It always had been.

Of course, you had been on holidays to other places, you had visited the other town, but when it came to it, you had always found yourself back where you started. There was no other place for you, there never would be.

It was the truth, but it held something bitter.

Then again, you had enough going on already, with being in your freshman year, straight out of high school, college life was very different. You had been to a total of two parties so far, courtesy of your best friend— Lia— dragging you with her. 

You had enjoyed them, but it wasn’t something you would voluntarily participate in again.

The workload was something that had definitely changed, bogged down with mandatory lectures and assignments, tests popping up like a bad smell, you had more than enough to occupy you.

“Something has arrived for you!” Your mother said, almost excitedly, “It’s on the table.”

You helped her put away the groceries, walking to your living room, eyes falling on the package sitting on the table. It was somewhat shabbily wrapped, with tape haphazardly stuck on it to keep it together, and a tag pasted on the top.

Picking it up, you pass it from your right hand to your left, feeling its weight, reading the little tag. It held your address, your name and another name you hadn’t seen in almost a year.

Your mind ran at a hundred miles per minute, wondering why it was here, why his name was on it. It made no sense to you.

“Darling? Are you okay?”

Your mothers voice snapped out of your reverie, nodding slowly, “I’ll be in my room, finishing off a project”, you said carefully, trying not to show any sort of emotion as you climbed up the stairs of your house, two at a time, making sure not to drop the package.

Closing the door, you place it on your bed, reading over the tag again, a bitter taste filling your mouth. A name you hadn’t thought of in a year coming back now. It was so random, so absolutely unnecessary.

You curled your fingers around the messy brown paper, tearing it open as your mind reeled. The crackling sound filled the silence as the contents of it make itself known to you.

A shoebox.

It’s dusty, a dark blue colour with a line of red running at its side. There were two holes on either end, lined with metal piping and you could just about make out the nike symbol on the top. You brushed your hand over it, the dust coming off easily and sticking to your fingers.

Why would he send you this?

His name sticks out on the tag like a sore thumb, reminding you of what you lost, mocking you. Always content with where you are, hmm? His voice comes back, as clear as day. It’s as if he’s standing there, giving you his chesire cat grin as he spoke the words.

Zhong Chenle.

Lifting the lid off the box, you’re thrown into confusion. A cassette player, a pair of earphones, and five tapes. Picking up the player, you smile briefly at the dramatic set up. He could’ve called you, or sent a message, so why did he take the pains of sending you something as old and unnecessary as this?

Then again, it had been a year since he stopped picking up your calls, since you stopped trying to call him.  A year since all contact had been cut off, as if he had never existed in the first place.

Sometimes you wondered if Chenle had been a hallucination. An imaginary friend.

Friend.

The questions filter in. Why? It had been a year, so why had he sent you this now? You had finally told yourself you were over it, that you didn’t need an answer, but somehow as soon as you did that, you found yourself sitting in your room on your bed with what could be it.

The tapes were numbered in permanent marker in his messy handwriting, from one to five, indicating the order in which they were to be listened to in. You picked up the first, slotting it in the player and waiting.

You didn’t know what you were waiting for.

You pressed play. There was crackling, but only for a moment, until  it went silent. Maybe this was all a mistake, maybe this wasn’t even happening. Maybe-

i] tape 1: you deserve to hate me

Hey

His voice cut through your spiraling thoughts as you froze in place. He sounded the same as you last heard him, a little muffled due to the recording but the same. At the same time he sounded like a stranger. There was silence for a moment again, before he spoke up.

This is stupid isn’t it?

You felt the urge to answer, but your mouth went dry. It had been so, so long, and even though you had adequate time to get over him, it suddenly felt as if you were treading unfamiliar territory once again. 

I-I don’t know why I’m doing this. I think it’s because I feel so horrible, I need an outlet. I guess speaking it into existence and recording it makes is my outlet. Making it all real.

But that’s fucking terrifying.

You don’t think you’re following, confused once again. 

Y/n

You hear him take a deep breath right after your name, and it sends a chill down your spine, hearing him say your name once again. You had almost forgotten how it sounded.

I don’t know if you’ll ever hear this, or listen to it. If you don’t I’ll actually be glad. You don’t deserve to, I’ve been a jerk to you. I’m sorry. I hope you hate me, I definitely deserve it.

I’m moving in two months.

The realization hits you, this had been recorded a year ago as well, two months before he left without a word or warning. It was old, he was here when he recorded it.

You didn’t quiet know how you felt, not yet anyways.

And you won’t know until I’m gone.

I’m moving to Korea, and I refuse to tell you, even if it makes me the bad guy, even if it feels worse, because that’s my dream. 

I got signed by a record label after sending them that demo I did —remember it? We both went to the studio together, you listening outside as I sang. You were right by my side, all the time.

Except now when I record this, except when I leave. 

I refuse to tell you, because the moment I do I know it’ll be real, realer than it is now as I say it. I don’t want to see the look on your face when I say I’m going, I know it’ll make me want to stay, but I don’t want to stay.

You knew exactly what he was talking about, you could recollect that day clearly. There was a small studio a little outside the town. That day, he had booked it for two hours to record a demo, his singing mentor with him and you tagging along.

It had always been like that, the two of you against the world, until, of course he left.

I physically can’t stay, I hate it here Y/n. It’s not for me, I want to get out, that had always been the plan. I want to get out and be free, I want to achieve my dreams. Maybe it’s selfish, maybe I don’t deserve a minute more of your time, but I want it all.

That’s why I’m not going to tell you —so I can have it all, at least until I don’t have you.

But you, you don’t deserve this, do you? Of course you don’t, but I suppose you’re the one with the shitty luck, you’re the one who ended up with me and now I’m going to hurt you. 

He laughs a dry, breathy laugh. It was half hearted, as if he was trying to get himself to believe the situation was funny. 

It’s not your fault I-fuck I’m sorry.

You heard a click and the tape died off, he had stopped recording there. The first tape was finished, and honestly, you didn’t know how to react. One part of you wanted to feel nothing, you wanted to put the player and the five tapes back into the box and send them away, or lock them in your closet to never find them again.

But the other part of you wanted to know more. You wanted to know how he felt, what went through his mind during that time. You wanted to know just how you lost Chenle, the first boy you ever loved.

Suddenly you felt overwhelmed, vulnerable almost. It was as if someone had opened up an old wound and left it open.

You got to your feet abruptly, pulling the earphones from your ears and dropping them on your bed, taking a step away and blinking rapidly. You couldn’t get caught up in the past, you couldn’t put yourself through that again.

But it was hard when the past was in your present.

Wasted, and all of my regret, I can taste it, If I had a time-machine, I would take it, And make it back to us

~

That night you couldn’t sleep.

The box sat on your desk, right next to your laptop, staring at you. You turned around on your bed, looking the other way, only to be met with the white of the walls.

You never liked the colour white.

It was too plain, too open for interpretation. It never had a solid answer. You liked stability, you wanted something permanent. You were the type of person that needed that reassurance.

Perhaps that’s why you were happy where you were, you didn’t find the appeal in starting over, because that meant nothing was certain. You stayed where you were because everything was already laid out for you.

It was like a colouring book in your little town, the lines all set out, everything drawn for you. Change meant you had to sketch everything from scratch. What if you messed up?

Needless to say, it was a good thing you weren’t an art major.

“This is ridiculous”, you whispered to yourself, sighing at the fact that you were now talking to yourself. You rolled over so that you were lying on your back, staring at the ceiling. The glow in the dark stars shone with their dull green light. You remember the day you had put them up, with Chenle.

You shared a lot of memories with him.

“Fucking hell”, you hissed, sitting up, swinging your legs off the edge of your bed and walking to your desk, sitting on the chair. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you picked up the second tape, inserting it in the player and putting the earphones on, waiting for it to begin.

ii] tape 2: milk before cereal

I know I’m making some terrible decisions, I really do, but if there’s one thing I stand by, its the fact that milk definitely goes before the cereal.

Why am I talking about this?

Well, because today you came over, Y/n, you came over and the two of us were watching a movie, and in the middle of it, you decided you wanted to have cereal, specifically frosted flakes.

So what do we do? We have cereal because I can’t say no to you. You’re welcome by the way, honestly, I deserve the boyfriend of the year award.

A moment of silence.

No I don’t. I really don’t.

You bit your lower lip, shutting your eyes. It was the way he switched, the way his demeanor changes so suddenly that made you want to scream. Sometimes it felt like he was telling a story, one you knew and loved.

Only for the next moment to bring you down to reality, reminding you that all stories don't have happy endings.

Anyways, we got the cereal and you objected when I put the milk first, saying that it was wrong, but how? In what way? Here me out Y/n, I shall tell you why I’m right, even If I’m not actually talking to you.

You couldn’t help but scoff at this, shaking your head at Chenle. He had always had a flair for being dramatic in the littlest ways possible. It was endearing.

Putting the cereal first means it sits in the milk for longer! If you put the cereal last, you can have it crunchy! Isn’t that ten times better? Unless you’re one of the devils spawn and like soggy cereal. If so I’m hypothetically breaking up with you right here right now.

Ah...bad wording. I keep forgetting I have to break up with you. I don’t want to, is that selfish?

You deserve the truth, if only I was strong enough to give it to you. Staying silent is so much easier.

It’s not lying, not completely anyways. I’m not lying if I don’t tell you at all. I suppose it’s a half truth then, with the truth hidden in plain sight. 

*click*

Lying. That’s what he did, even though he spent the last few minutes of the tape trying to justify it, he lied. He trampled all over your heart without a single warning.

You had trusted Chenle, having known him since you were thirteen. He had completely destroyed that trust. Something like that couldn’t be fixed so easily, not even if he had sent you these tapes.

Then again, you didn’t know why he sent them.

You retreated to your bed, turning away from the tapes, the words and memories they held, facing white once again.

You had met Chenle when the two of you were thirteen, in eight grade math. The boy was failing the class, and one day you found him sitting early morning in class, with his head in his hands as he groaned over some sort of equation.

You had offered to help, and the smile he gave was the brightest one you had ever seen, he was practically grinning from ear to ear. That was the beginning of your friendship, and the two of you were inseperable.

Ninth grade it was confirmed that the two of you were best friends, sitting together, complaining about teachers together, going places together so your parents didn’t need to tag along.

In your last year of high school the two of you started dating, and when you had told your parents, they were ecstatic, confessing they had always thought the two of you would end up together.

He was always there for you, every time you needed him. You could give him a call and he would be outside your door. If you were feeling insecure or scared, he was always there to hype you up.

You had been best friends before, you were lovers then, and it was amazing. You loved everything about being with Chenle. You loved everything about him, from his toothy grin to his obnoxiously loud laugh.

You loved the way his eyes sparkled when he had an idea (which, for the most part, were absolutely terrible. Needless to say the two of you got in trouble a lot), when he sang for you when you stayed over, the way he would always make sure you were never cold.

You loved him.

It was written in the stars, you were meant to be, it was the perfect combination. Chenle was the right person for you- the perfect person.

A year later you woke up with him gone, no texts, no warnings. He had just gone, leaving you alone.

Right person, wrong time.

Monday came around sooner than you thought it would, the weekend passing in a blur as you walked out of your first class, spotting Lia leaning against the wall outside your class, scrolling through something on her phone.

She was an exchange student, not originally from your town, but had fit right in. Sometimes you wished you could be like that.

“Oh! You’re out! Listen, there’s a party on Friday and you’re coming with me”, she stated. It wasn’t a request, it was a fact, you were to go with her. In her own words, ‘if I didn’t exist you’d probably have no social life.’

To be fair, she wasn’t wrong.

You nodded defeatedly, walking with her down the hallway, “I assume you want to go because of the cute new guy?”

She glared, but didn’t refute your accusation, “His name is Mark”, she said, “And that is none of your business.”

You snickered, “Oh it so is, you like him don’t you? Is this going to be another one of your crushes?”

Lia was notorious for having a new crush almost every week, being a very flighty person, her mind changed before you could even say her name. This was a bit of a problem, considering you went to her for advice a lot.

Her indecisive nature was not the best for that.

She rolled her eyes at this, “He’s cute, why not? Wonder if I can get him to dance with me at the party. You’re going to be my hype woman-”

“And the sober buddy?”

Lia ignored that.

“Also there’s this new singer”, she said, handing you one of her earbuds, “apparently he came from here!”

Taking one of the earbuds, you were hit with a familiar voice. It sounded amazing honestly, catchy, everything a song needed, but it was the voice that hit you. You didn’t even need to ask Lia for the singer, swallowing the lump in your throat and glancing at her phone, which confirmed your suspicions.

Filling with some sort of dread, your hands immediately went to hold your hand, specifically the bottom where the cassette player and the tapes were. You had been carrying them around with you, as if scared they would disappear if you left them alone.

“Isn’t he good?”

You nodded, not daring to answer as you bit your lower lip, “Hey Lili, I need to use the washroom so see ya later”, you said, handing her the earbud and taking off in the other direction, pushing open the doors to the washroom and getting into one of the stalls.

You had stalled listening to the next tape all Sunday, you didn’t even know why, but hearing him sing, that fact that he had actually made it, it struck something in you. You wanted to feel proud of him, but all you felt was bitter.

Was it a coincidence that this new singer had come out- Chenle himself- right when you received the tapes?

Pushing the top of the toilet down, you took a seat, taking the player out and plugging in, you pressed play for the third tape, waiting for it to begin playing.

tape iii] ill miss our dates

Remember when we went for that field trip? Ninth grade? We sat in the back of the bus together avoiding the stares of our teachers when they told us to sit down?

Then they pulled us apart? Yeah, mean fuckers.

Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to talk about, I just felt like reminiscing for a sec there, but today we went of a date! Well, I mean we got ice cream and then went to the park, but hey, it was fun.

You smiled. He had always jumped from one topic to another without any meaning to either. Sometimes it was a frustrating habit, (you had been on the receiving end of these useless conversations several times, which ended with you glaring at him exasperatedly), but for the most part, extremely comical.

I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss you. Your little smile — have I ever told you just how pretty your smile is? Your eyes light up and crinkle at the sides and its something I don’t think I’ll ever forget, even when I’m gone. 

You clutched the cassette player, marveling at the irony. He was talking about your smile, but why did you want to cry?

It’s a month left now, and I want to make the most of it. Tomorrow I’m taking you to the amusement part and then next week I’m surprising you with dinner. I guess doing things for you —for us — makes me feel better, like I’m compensating.

You deserve the world Y/n, and I want to see that world while you’re happy where you are.

You don’t deserve having to deal with me.

*click*

Your eyes burned, because you remembered each of those events. You had been so happy, so overjoyed at them. They burned with tears because there it was again, that reminder that you were destined to be stuck right where you were, because you were that idiot who was content.

But if someone, anyone, asked you at that very moment if you were happy, the answer would’ve been an outright no.

1 YEAR AGO

~

“Hey Chenle?”

“Hmm?”

“Why do you want to leave?”

The boy thought about this for a second, before smiling wistfully, “Don’t you want to know how it is outside home?”

“But everything I need is here.”

Your eyes held a question, you were genuinely baffled by his reasoning, the way he was so stuck of getting out. You studied your bewildered expression, shaking his head. “You’re lucky”, he said finally, “You know exactly what you want.”

“Of course I don’t, but I know what I need Chenle, and that’s all around me.”

He shook away his other thoughts, “Hey maybe we’ll go exploring the world together some day. 

You blinked, “You want me there with you?”

He nodded, grinning widely, “I want to take you along, Imagine, it’ll be fucking awesome, and hey this time there will be no teachers to separate us. We can even stand in the bus-if we’re taking a bus, that it.”

You laughed, “Maybe”, you mused, looking back down at your phone, “While I don’t exactly see the appeal, it would be fun to be with you.”

Chenle’s smile faltered, but he didn’t let it fall completely, wrapping his arms around you and sighing, closing his eyes and whispering something just loud enough for you to hear.

“Maybe.”

Why did it feel this way?

Chenle was right- you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to feel this way at all. It had been a year, so why did it affect you?

Why was it all happening at once?

You clicked your tongue, eyeing the player with contempt. You felt pathetic for being curious, for still feeling so attached to old news. It wasn’t as if it was going to change anything, so why?

Why did you still want to know?

Curiosity killed the cat. You wondered if knowing would somehow kill you.

No one was at home currently, so you sat in the living room on your couch. The items you were trying so hard to ignore were sitting on the small table in front of the couch, as if waiting for you to pick them up once again.

You wondered if you should tell Lia and ask her opinion about the situation. She may not be that helpful, but hell, she could help you burn the tapes if worse came to worse.

Sometimes you wished you had never met Chenle, that your history with him could be erased from your memories. You wished it never existed because fuck, it still hurt.

Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself and pressed play.

tape iv] firsts with you

Do you remember our first kiss?

We were eighteen, in my room, playing Jenga. That was a year ago, oh god, I can’t even imagine, how has it been a year? You were wearing one of my shirts and jeans, your hair was in a ponytail. The two of us were sitting on the carpet on my floor.

You had successfully gotten one of the wooden pieces out of a risky area of the tower, but then it was my turn, it feel to the ground, destroyed.

I blamed you, and you laughed, and our banter continued. We argued and at one point I started tickling you to get you to shut up, because honestly-Jesus Christ Y/n you’re fucking stubborn.

Anyways I ended up on top of you and the two of us were laughing. You looked so pretty, hair messily scattered around your face as you attempted to get out of my hold. 

I leaned down and kissed you.

Your throat closed up as he spoke. Your eyes stung and you raked your hand through your hair, biting down on your lower lip. The way he was speaking about it, as if he would do anything to go back, it struck something in you.

Because if you had the chance, you would go back as well.

You tasted like that strawberry chapstick you liked to wear. I could tell you were surprised, because you didn’t kiss me back for a good two seconds  —which, by the way sent me into a panic for a moment there.

But then you kissed me, and fuck, it was like everything had stopped. I couldn’t think for a second, it was like the world had started spinning around me, and the only thing that was keeping me grounded, was you.

Was it supposed to hurt like this?

You sucked in a sharp breath, fingers fisted the material of your shirt as you tried keeping your composure. You didn’t want to cry, but he was making it so, so hard for you. 

You remembered how it felt when he kissed you, you were legitimately so confused, was he really kissing you? Your best friend, the boy you had loved quietly for so long, kissing you?

Chenle was your first kiss, and it was the most perfect first kiss you could have ever asked for, even if you were on the floor, with random Jenga blocks scattered around the two of you.

The smile you gave me after I pulled away, I wish I could remember it forever. It was goofy as you burst into giggles, and asked me, “What was that for?”

I blinked in surprise, wondering how you seemed so normal, when for me everything had changed. I had kissed my best friend, the one girl I care the most about.

I must have looked like a tomato oh god.

Instead of waiting for my to answer, you sat up, pulling me into another kiss. This time it was me who was unprepared. The kiss was messy, it had no structure or plan, but I realized in that moment, that I really liked kissing you, and I wanted to do it more often.

You became my girlfriend.

The wistful tone he was using was starting to affect you. You had loved Chenle, almost too much. You could almost feel that nostalgic happiness you felt that day when he kissed you for the first time, the disbelief and joy that wrapped around the two of you. 

A wave of sadness followed that nostalgia.

Our first date was so fucking awkward. We were at that little cafe you loved, you ordered a cheesecake and I got a smoothie, and then we sat in silence for a good five minutes.

It really shouldn’t have been that painful, considering we knew everything about each other already, then again that might be why it was awkward, I had nothing to ask you about.

So naturally I brought up school and that started it, the two of us complaining about the amount of assignments we had, and Mrs. Choi’s annoying squeaky voice- I swear to god that woman took a second for each word.

But I digress.

Slowly our conversation felt normal again, it was just us, eating cheesecake and drinking smoothies, together.

That wave of sadness crashed down upon you like a tsunami, trying to snuff you out. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, you were struggling to keep yourself together. You were struggling to stay afloat, you had lost any leverage you had that was holding you up.

You couldn’t fight the waves.

My flight is in two hours. It’s four in the morning and we’re about to walk through the door and get to the airport, but I wanted to talk to you once again, even if we’re not really talking.

I’m pathetic.

You’re sleeping, in your bed at your home, you don’t know I’m going because I’m the coward that refused to tell you the truth. I’ll be gone by the time you wake up and then you’ll know.

You’ll know how much of a waste of time I was.

And then you were angry.

You were angry because he had no right to just come back into your life like this, no fucking right to make you cry. He wasn’t even here, but somehow he had managed to make you fall apart just with his words, with his voice.

He had no right to tear your world apart, the little composure you had standing. You had finally accepted the fact that he was gone, you had moved on, and even tried to forget.

But here he was, making sure you could never forget.

You hated how selfish he was, how absolutely fucking oblivious. He had no clue, not even one as to how you felt when he just disappeared from your life, as if he never existed. He had broken you and here he was, breaking you again.

With trembling hands, you stopped the tape from playing any further, angry tears making their way down your face as you flung the player across the room. You had no intention of listening any further, you didn’t want to, you didn’t care.

Closure hurt more than him leaving.

You buried your head in your hands, letting yourself fall apart, but just this once.

tape iv] continued [unheard]

I’m sorry Y/n. I’m so fucking sorry. 

You don’t have to believe me, because I’m leaving anyways, so I suppose that cancels out my apologies huh? I’m the worst person you ever met. I’m not stopping, I’m not going to leave you a text.

Because I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

I’ll be gone before we could ever be.

Should’ve believed in us, while we existed, cuz now the whole things fucked, and just a figment of my imagination

~

Time heals all hurt, and reminders bring them back, cutting through your skin like a knife, making you bleed.

A week later, you found yourself sitting in your favorite cafe, the same cafe Chenle talked about in the last tape. You ordered a cheesecake and a smoothie, inserting the fifth and final tape into the player.

The last time you did this, you were left hurt and distraught, promising yourself you would never go back to listen to him again. You had put the shoebox in your closet, hiding it behind your clothes that hung from the rack.

Yet here you were.

You didn’t bother finishing the fourth tape, you didn’t see the need to. 

This tape, you observed, was newer looking, with less scratches on the plastic, even the marker on the side looked more recent, a little rushed if you went into detail. 

The cheesecake and drink arrived, and you took a bite, pressing play.

tape v] play

Hey.

He sounded a little different too, older perhaps. His voice was smoother, but he sounded unsure of himself. It sounded as if he was trying to figure out how to approach the topic. He was being cautious.

It’s been a while. I...I don’t know why I’m doing this. There’s no point- you’re not even here. I found these stupid tapes yesterday in my dorm when I was cleaning out and gave them a listen.

Silence.

I envy you, Y/n. I wish I was like you, happy wherever I was. But I’m not, and I probably caused you great unhappiness while trying to search for my own- but I was happy with you, so happy it was ridiculous.

I sabotaged that.

You sighed, realizing you felt nothing. You were tired of crying over Chenle, you were done doing that. Instead you felt empty, like you had been tired out, like it didn’t matter anymore. At this point you were to get it over with, to finish it off on  clean ending note.

My song comes out next week, and it’ll be done. I’ve made it Y/n, I’ve gotten to where I wanted to be, the place I had worked so hard to get to. I’ve sacrificed so much for this and it’s all been worth it- except one thing.

I don’t expect you to listen to my song, I just wanted to tell you. I..I hope you’re proud of me. Even if I was a jerk, I hope you can be proud, at least a little bit, because then I’ll have finally made it.

I miss you.

The same words are at the tip of your tongue, I miss you, I miss you so fucking much, but they never came out. They didn’t have to, it would be useless. He would never hear them.

Instead, you swallowed them back down.

And even though I made fun of you for staying home, I hope you’re happy like I am, I hope we’ll meet again one day. If we do I challenge you to a game of Jenga, loser buys the winner ice cream.

I-fuck this is the hardest part- but I hope you’ve moved on. One of us has to.

*click*

You don’t take the tape out of the player, you don’t touch it at all. You feel oddly calm as you take another bite of your cheesecake, savoring the strawberry reserve that it came with it. You could almost imagine yourself at eighteen again sitting opposite your new boyfriend.

You missed it, the memories that came along with it. That was it, you missed the feelings you had.

But you were okay. You would be okay right where you were, because that’s where you belonged. It hurt, yeah, but it had hurt back then as well. Now it was just a dull ache, all that was left was regret.

Regret that it didn’t work out, regret over unspoken words and unnecessary pain.

A familiar song filled the cafe as you smiled somewhat sadly, leaning back in your seat and closing your eyes.

“I’m proud of you Chenle”, you whispered, “Because you did what I couldn’t”

You left the cafe a little later, with the cassettes in your bag, an empty plate and the smoothie sitting on the table, untouched. After all, that smoothie wasn’t for you.

There was nothing to wait for anymore. You had loved and you had lost, Chenle was a stranger with your secrets and a familiar voice and that was it. 

You had forgiven him a long time ago, even without him being deserving of it. Now with all the loose ends being tied up, it felt like you could finally let go of him, you could finally move on.

And forget.

#chenle x reader #kpopscape #nctcreations #neoculturecafe #nct-writers #cznnet #neowritingsnet #zhong chenle x reader #nct chenle x reader #nct #chenle #zhong chenle #nct fanfiction #chenle angst #chenle fluff #chenle fanfiction #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #dreamies #dream chenle #chenle oneshots

[cloudywriter]

promposals

rowaelin month - september 1st

prompt: i just realized i’m desperately in love with you 

hey guys!! it’s finally rowaelin month and i’m literally so excited you have no idea. sadly, i don’t have time to do every day but i’ll do as many as i can. i can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with. happy writing/reading! (this is just some straight fluff) 

masterlist, AO3

~~~

The school was abuzz, anticipation hung thick in the hallways during each passing period. It had been that way for a week or so now with prom on the horizon. Everyone was constantly on high alert for the next promposal, most desperately hoping it would be their own. Girls hung around their lockers inconspicuously for far longer than necessary and boys tried to play it cool while secretly fretting over who to ask and how to do it.

Rowan was over it pretty quickly, but he’d likely have to suffer through the next month of promposal after promposal. Today was no different, there was an asking in the parking lot before school, one in his first-period English class, another in the hallway after. He couldn’t escape it. 

Thankfully, Rowan wasn’t quite as grumpy as he used to be due to a certain blonde worming into his life a few years ago but he was still Rowan. Sullen and reserved as ever. That fateful blonde being the only one to draw him from his shell. 

Rowan sighed, aimlessly scrolling around on his phone. It was the passing period before his 3rd-period class, AP Biology, and Rowan was leaning against Aelin’s locker.

Aelin always stopped by her locker after her photography class to put her camera away and then they’d head to class together. It was their routine, the same every day. Not yet broken during their entire senior year which was quickly coming to a close. That was a subject Rowan didn’t want to broach though.

He cleared his head of those unsavory thoughts. Rowan could tell yet another proposal was gearing up, Ilias came around the corner holding a poster board in one hand and a bouquet of assorted flowers in the other. At that moment too, Aelin turned the corner, giving Rowan a small smile as she hurried towards him. 

Rowan’s cold resting face tugged into a smirk as she approached her already open locker. Rowan always took it upon himself to open it for her in advance, Aelin tended to fumble with the locks that required a specific number combination and artful twisting. 

As Aelin stored away her camera and shut her locker door with a thud, a gasp down the hallway had them both turning around. 

Ansel was there, her hand cupping her mouth, clearly unsuspecting of Ilias and his proposal. They both watched as Ansel excitedly agreed to prom with Ilias and took the flowers from his outstretched hand, pulling him into a hug. 

Aelin turned her attention away from the happy couple and began to walk towards their next class, Rowan following suit. They progressed for a bit in silence until Aelin spoke up. 

“I hope Chaol asks me to prom soon,” she confessed. 

Rowan almost choked, that single sentence baffling him. “Chaol?” He asked incredulously. 

“Or Dorian,” Aelin shrugged, crossing her arms in front of her. Rowan was suddenly feeling very panicked, like a fish that had accidentally discovered land, flopping around in search of water in a frenzy. To say he felt confused was an understatement. Rowan hadn’t given prom much of his brainpower. He hadn’t even considered asking anyone. He’d just assumed he’d go with Aelin. Why would he have thought otherwise? They did everything together; he’d expected prom would be no different.

When they sat down at their blacktop table in biology Rowan silently floundered as he tried to think over this revelation. Why would Aelin want to go with someone else? Usually, before class started, he and Aelin would joke around until the teacher told them it was time to reel it in but today Rowan stared ahead, picking at the skin of his thumb. A nervous tick he’d developed throughout high school. 

Should he ask someone else then? He couldn’t even think of anyone else he tolerated enough to spend the night with. Maybe Lyria? She was nice enough, always sharing her notes with him in English when he was too busy with lacrosse to do the reading. She was quiet, soft-spoken. Absolutely nothing like the girl sat next to him. That thought made him frown. Remelle? No, he could barely stand Remelle, but he knew she liked him so at least she’d definitely say yes. 

Rowan was pretty much out of luck. Aelin and his friend group were to whom his time was devoted to, he didn’t branch out much beyond them. 

He thought of Aelin all dressed up, maybe in a golden gown that catered to her love of theatrics. Possibly in a deep green that complemented her bright eyes and skin tone. He imagined her with her hair loosely curled and flowing down her back. The delicate, golden Kingsflame silhouette necklace he’d gotten her for her 18th birthday clasped around her neck. It was easy for Rowan to conjure up that image but he couldn’t picture her looking like that and holding onto Chaol’s arm. It felt so intensely wrong to even consider it. 

It was always him. He always imagined her with him. They were a package deal in Rowan’s mind, but apparently not in Aelin’s. 

Aelin seemed to be catching onto Rowan’s internal dilemma. Throughout the duration of the class, he could feel her watching him out of the corner of her peripheral, trying to gauge what could be wrong. She stayed quiet though and dutifully continued her notes that mostly consisted of a collection of small doodles. Rowan couldn’t help but watch and wonder how she truly felt about him.

For the rest of the school day, Rowan pretty much blew Aelin off. He sat between Lorcan and Fenrys at lunch instead of the 2 seats on the right side of the circular table that always housed Aelin and himself. He told her not to wait up in the stands during his lacrosse practice and to head home on her own instead. He could tell she was confused maybe even a little hurt but Rowan couldn’t bring himself to push aside his mass of feelings that had him acting strange. 

He wasn’t even completely sure what was wrong with himself. The thought of Aelin accompanying another guy to prom shouldn’t affect him like it was; they were only best friends nothing more. She had free reign to go with whoever she wanted and she could get whoever, Aelin was a beautiful girl he wasn’t blind to that. He’d just thought it’d be him. 

All throughout lacrosse practice, Rowan was distracted, missing the ball or the goal when he had it, a stark difference from his usual skill. His coach had already pulled him aside once and asked if he was feeling okay only to be given a grunted yeah before putting him back in. He only grew more upset with Aelin as he pondered the day’s events instead of keeping his head in the game. Some part of him knew it was irrational but he couldn’t help it. Why wouldn’t she want to share one of their last big moments of high school together?  

And that’s how he continued to feel as he made the short drive home with his hefty lacrosse bag weighing down his shoulder and his school bag heavy on his back. When he finally entered the home he sighed, the scent of his mother’s cooking filling his nostrils. Honestly, he’d rather stay up in his room and stew than sit through family dinner right now but he knew it’d only prompt more questions from his parents. So he dropped his things by the door much to his mother’s chagrin and collapsed into one of the dining table’s chairs. 

“Feeling alright, son?” His father’s silver brow rose, already catching on to his foul mood. 

“Yeah, just tired,” Rowan confirmed, taking a sip of water. 

His mother entered then, a dish of pasta cupped between her oven mitts that she placed in the center of the table. “How was practice?” She asked sweetly, stripping her hands of their cover and sitting down. 

“It was fine.”

Rowan’s mother and father exchanged a look between themselves. He was normally much more talkative, always giving them updates on school, on plays they’d done during practice, on Aelin. Rowan chose to ignore their concerned expressions and instead served himself a helping of dinner silently. 

His phone buzzed then from inside the pocket of his shorts. Rowan pulled it out to check the message and frowned at the screen. 

fire-breathing b queen👑 : r u okay? 

He stuck his phone back into his pocket instead of typing a reply and forced himself to eat the rest of his dinner. He only half-listened to his parents’ conversation about their days and what was going on in his dad’s office. Rowan knew he was stewing again, falling into a spiral of uncertainty. 

“Rowan, honey, are you sure you’re okay?” His mother pressed, worry lining her brow. 

Rowan’s lips formed a thin line. No, he wasn’t okay. 

In a split-second decision, Rowan decided he was done dancing around whatever was going on between him and Aelin. “I need to go,” Rowan said suddenly, standing up from his chair that loudly scraped across the floor. His parents looked surprised by his outburst but didn’t stop him as he grabbed his keys from the little table by the front entrance and left. 

Rowan didn’t even need to look at the road to know the way to Aelin’s house. The route was in his bones now and within a few minutes he was pulling up in front of her large white house. He hopped out of his truck, not even bothering to lock the doors before he pounded on her green-painted front door. 

The door opened with a squeak and he saw Aelin standing there in one of her nightgowns that drove Rowan absolutely mad. 

“You’re not going to prom with Chaol,” he rasped, pushing the hair falling on his forehead back with his hand. 

“Huh?” Aelin was clearly confused as to why Rowan had come knocking at her door without preamble. 

“You’re not going with him,” Rowan once again declared, standing his ground, ready to get everything off his chest before he lost the courage. 

“Ro, I don’t get what you’re going on about. He hasn’t even asked me and if he doesn’t ask me I don’t know who’d I go with,” she admitted, her hand still holding the door open and her mouth in a serious line. 

Rowan surges forward at that, gripping both of Aelin’s hands in his own. “You’d go with me, Aelin. I want you to go with me,” he pleaded with her, lifting her hands up to his chest. “Aelin,” he continued, “I don’t want to go with anyone else but you. I want to do everything with you, go everywhere with you. Gods, Aelin, you’re like my reason to breathe, to get up in the morning.”

“Row-” Aelin tried to interrupt, her blue eyes going wide. 

“No, just let me finish, I- I know that sounds crazy and I know it’s so out of the blue and you didn’t expect me to show up outside your door like this and start professing my feelings,” Rowan was rambling now he knew. Everything he wanted to say to her was running through his mind like a freight train so much so he struggled to express it. The words were jumbled in his mind as if they were a bowl of alphabet soup in a blender. He just needed her to know how he felt. 

“I- I just, I thought about you going to prom with Chaol or some other guy all damn day and I hated it. Gods, I couldn’t figure out why I hated it so much, it just it- it felt so wrong. Fireheart, I want you to be with me. Gods, I think I’m so desperately in love with you I’m going to combust or something.” Rowan was getting flustered now, he knew his face was burning and he was sweating, maybe from the humidity or maybe from the sheer weight of what he was confessing to his best friend.  “Rowan,” Aelin started once again, her face contorted in pure shock. 

“I know you might not feel the same Aelin, I knew I came here risking that, and if you don’t feel the same-”

“Rowan!” Aelin said with more force, bringing her hands to cup his face. “Listen to me,” she pleaded. 

Rowan stopped trying to fight her and looked at her. He felt as though his stomach might fall out. His nerves were so intense as he stared into Aelin’s golden-ringed eyes. 

“You’re just so fucking stupid,” Aelin breathed. 

Rowan’s brow furrowed, he certainly hadn’t expected her to say that. “Wha-” he began. 

He couldn’t even finish his thought before Aelin’s lips descended upon his own. She cradled his face in her hands as her soft lips moved against his in a slow rhythm. Rowan’s brain stalled and struggled to catch up with what the hell was happening. 

He just knew this felt right, this felt so gods-damn right. 

His hands were loosely wrapped around her wrists and they traveled lightly over her arms and moved to rest on her back and pull her into him. 

Her body molded against his own. It felt like the final bit of a 50,000 piece puzzle had finally fallen into place after years of pouring over it. Rowan kissed Aelin back with just as much fever, desperate to keep her lips on his own. He brushed his tongue along the seam of her lips and she pulled back. 

They both stood there, gulping down air as they stared at each other trying to navigate this unimaginable revelation. 

“You’re- you’re not going to prom with Chaol, right?” Rowan finally managed to ask. 

“No,” Aelin breathed. “I’ll go with you, I’ll always go with you.” 

Their lips met once again.

~~~

day one down. stay tuned and have a wonderful day, xoxo

#rowaelin #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin x rowan #rowan x aelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin au #rowaelin fanfiction #lorcan salvaterre #fenrys moonbeam #chaol westfall #dorian havilliard #rowaelin month #rowaelin fluff #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction

[somethingwritey]

How is the Rangshi long fic coming? Id love an update on ittttt!

Hello! I'm so glad you're still thinking about my Rangshi fic! It's currently around 20k at the moment—definitely getting a bit carried away!

Because you asked, here's another little out-of-context snippet ;)

-----

“Do you think the spirits would mind if I assassinated a world leader?”

Jinpa jerked his head up at the question, risking a glance behind him at her. Kyoshi knew she must be a sight to behold, laying out across the wide saddle and staring up at the darkening clouds. In her hands, she opened and closed a fan in time to her pounding pulse.

“I don’t think that’s listed as an Avatar duty,” Jinpa stammered, thoroughly taken aback by her proposal.

“Bummer.”

Jinpa was quiet for a few moments, no doubt trying to edge around the subject towards her reasoning. “I take it that meeting with the Fire Lord went… poorly?”

Kyoshi propped herself up on her elbows to stare him in the face. She hoped he could read how absolutely stupid that question had been. She’d emerged from the Fire Lord’s palace by stomping, causing tiny earthquakes as she marched over to the stables. That should’ve been indication enough.

“He’s out of control.” Kyoshi shivered—Rangi’s absence making itself very apparent just then; she could always be counted on for a little extra warmth while traveling.

Kyoshi went back to staring at the sky.

Zoryu’s words about the Firebender still echoed in her ears, doing more to chill her than the night air ever could. She wished she could put more distance between Rangi and the Fire Lord, despite being hidden away in Yokoya.

For a terrifying moment, she wondered if Zoryu somehow knew. If he could see the girl in her cotton shift, laid out on the infirmary bed with her hands knotted in the sheets. If he had discovered a way to look at the bruises on her face and the way her breath still rattled slightly whenever she breathed. Maybe this whole meeting had been a distraction, a diversion to take Kyoshi away from the infirmary and Rangi. Maybe, it was too late.

“Jinpa!” Kyoshi felt her heart pounding in her ears. “Fly faster!”

She worked herself up as they flew, imagining horrific scenes of injury and destruction—rivaling the iceberg or North Chung-Ling - only this time, it would absolutely be her fault. If anything happened to Rangi, the Flying Opera Company, even Hei-Ran and Atuat, she would be to blame.

Kyoshi gripped the edge of the saddle, her knuckles turning white from the effort. She watched the ground grow closer and closer as Yingyong spiralled into a descent. Her chest tightened with every drop in altitude, and once, she almost slipped over the edge and plummeted the last several feet to the ground.

“Quiet evening.” Jinpa seemed on the whole unaware of her own personal panic. He landed Yingyong with ease and dismounted, walking around the side of the bison to assist Kyoshi like he always did.

She didn’t wait for the monk to make it over to her. She tumbled from the saddle, falling hard onto the ground and scrambling back up to her feet.

“Kyoshi!” he yelled after her in disbelief.

She didn’t turn around, stumbling towards the infirmary to what she knew would be waiting for her. Blindly, she pushed open the door and tripped over the doorway, panting and gasping for air, to find -

No evidence of violence. No ransom note or bodies or trails of blood. Just Hei-Ran and Atuat sitting in a few chairs with bowls of noodles, with the rest of the Flying Opera Company still bedridden, but looking more vibrant than before. Even Rangi looked, on the whole, unchanged, propped up in bed. Someone had even taken the time to put her hair back up in its usual topknot.

“Well,” Hei-Ran said dryly, taking in Kyoshi’s haggard appearance. “Are you being pursued by wolfbats? Lion vultures? Spider snakes, perhaps?”

Kyoshi’s face flushed red, and she tried hard to catch her breath - smoothing down her skirts to remove the ruffles.

“Did the monk get eaten?” Atuat asked calmly, taking another bite of her noodles. Clearly, the two women were enjoying the joke at Kyoshi’s expense.

Rangi covered her mouth, looking as though she was trying to keep a straight face for Kyoshi’s sake and failing at it. Kyoshi glared at her.

“Not you, too.”

A little snort escaped Rangi’s fingers, and her eyes went wide.

“Some bison ride you must’ve had,” Kirmia ventured, surveying Kyoshi’s windswept state. “What did happen to that Airbender of yours?”

Kyoshi gestured out the door. “Probably unsaddling Yingyong,” she told them all, still somewhat out of breath. “I, uh, just needed to check something.”

“The Fire Lord put you on edge?” Hei-Ran put down her bowl of noodles, staring hard at Kyoshi.

She forced herself to look back calmly. The last thing she wanted was to let everyone know that she’d gotten worked up over some unfulfilled threats. And now that she was here, even Kyoshi could tell how stupid she’d been. The infirmary was the safest place for Rangi right now, surrounded as she was by Hei-Ran and Atuat and unable to make any wrong move the Fire Lord could use to justify an attack.

Kyoshi forced a smile, relaxing her shoulders the best she could. “Nothing of the sort.” She tucked her fans back into her belt. “The meeting was simply to confirm what he already knew. Pretty big waste of time, actually.”

Hei-Ran was still studying her skeptically, probably trying to pinpoint the reason for Kyoshi’s sudden change in demeanor. Kyoshi dared to look over at Rangi again.

Her expression mirrored her mother’s, lips slightly pursed and head tilted to the side. If Kyoshi didn’t want Hei-Ran to discover the true nature of her meeting with Zoryu, she definitely didn’t want Rangi figuring it out.

Rangi’s station meant everything to her, and she took her job very seriously. If she knew that her own Fire Lord was pondering possible ways to strip the girl of her life - or worse, her honor - she would lose it.

Kyoshi had already seen how Fire Nation citizens treated their disgraced ranking officials. Hei-Ran had been pitied, patronized, pet like an animal. If anyone were to take that tone with Rangi, well, Kyoshi couldn’t promise that she would be able to keep her Avatar State in check.

“Care for some noodles?” Atuat gestured to her own bowl, holding it up for Kyoshi to see.

There was no way Kyoshi could turn down food. She hadn’t eaten since… well, Kyoshi couldn’t quite remember the last time she’d eaten, and she could feel Rangi staring daggers at her.

“Yeah,” she smiled at Atuat. “Noodles would be great.”

////

It was three days before Rangi was able to stand.

Atuat worked on her the best she could, trying to heal the internal damage caused by Yun. She told Kyoshi that bits of his earth dagger had broken off inside her wound, causing irritation and leaving a large possibility for infection. It didn’t help that Rangi was a terrible patient.

“I can get up,” she kept insisting. “I’m fine!”

When Atuat finally let her try, Rangi leapt at the opportunity, getting to her feet much too quickly and nearly doubling over from lingering stiffness and pain.

“Careful!” Kyoshi cried, hovering nearby. The outburst earned her stares from both Rangi and Atuat.

When Rangi straightened up again—slower this time—Kyoshi could see the imprint of the bandages under her shift - wrapped generously around her torso like battle armor.

“Are you sure she should be doing this?” Kyoshi asked Atuat, probably only fueling Rangi’s determination. “She’s still got bandages on! What if she starts bleeding again? We can try again tomorrow! Or next week!”

“Kyoshi, what’s your problem?” Rangi narrowed her eyes.

She was being far too overprotective, Kyoshi knew. She should back off. Let Rangi manage her own recovery. But even though it was inviting Rangi’s wrath, Kyoshi didn’t want her Firebender’s stubbornness to impede her healing process.

Rangi needed to take it slow. Make sure she didn’t make things worse with her rush to get better. As much as Kyoshi wanted to see her girl back on her feet, she knew it wouldn’t benefit either of them if it happened too quickly.

That’s what Kyoshi told herself as she watched Atuat support Rangi and instruct her to gently raise and lower her arms - stretching out her muscles. Kyoshi just didn’t want Rangi to overextend herself. To tear open her wound. To hurry an infection along. Her concern was born from love and care, not selfishness.

Or cowardice.

As if to poke holes in her reasoning, Hei-Ran entered the tent, arms crossed. “Jinpa told me your meeting with the Fire Lord ended… abruptly.” She glanced over at Atuat and Rangi for the briefest of moments. “Rangi, straighten your shoulders. Injuries don’t excuse bad posture.”

Rangi huffed, but obediently did as she was told. She respected her mother’s authority, whether she liked it or not.

Kyoshi picked her next words carefully. Lying to Hei-Ran was never a good idea, but neither was letting on just how badly the meeting had actually gone. “I think… the messages of both parties had ample time for sinking in.”

The words could’ve come straight from Yun’s mouth—vague with just the right amount of high-brow language. Maybe she wasn’t a hopeless cause after all.

Hei-Ran seemed surprised by the response as well. “I see. And what message did the Fire Lord impart on you?”

Shit.

Kyoshi tried to think on her feet. “Politics,” she said at last. “The importance of… political relations.”

“Sounds like the stuff Jianzhu used to preach,” Rangi offered, crinkling up her nose at the mention of the departed sage.

Hei-Ran sniffed dismissively at the mention of the man who’d nearly poisoned her to death. Kyoshi wondered inwardly if the woman ever mourned Jianzhu, despite everything. He had once been her close companion, after all.

Every one of Hei-Ran’s old friends were gone, she suddenly realized - swallowing hard. Kuruk. Kelsang. Jianzhu. The once-inseparable gang hadn’t stayed that way for very long. Hei-Ran was the sole survivor.

Killed after hunting dark spirits.

Murdered by Jianzhu.

Murdered by Yun. And me.

What terrible fates had been waiting for the previous Avatar team, often at the hands of each other. Was that what waited for her? For Rangi? For Wong and Kirimia? Was every Avatar doomed to bring failure and annihilation to the people who loved them most?

“Atuat,” she said sharply, turning to look at Rangi who’d made good progress accompanied by the Waterbender. “That’s enough for today.”

“Yes, Avatar.”

As Atuat moved to help Rangi back to bed, Rangi protested - an angry haze settling over her face as she watched Kyoshi move towards the door.

“What?” Rangi twisted in Atuat’s grip, trying to break free, to run after her. “Who let her call the shots around here? Kyoshi, don’t you dare walk away from me! I’m not through talking about this!”

Kyoshi didn’t turn around. She couldn’t.

“Fine! Go clear your head! See if I care!”

And then Kyoshi made it out of earshot.

She would delay Rangi’s recovery as long as she possibly could, drag it out until the spirits themselves were begging the Firebender to get back on her feet. Because at least here in the infirmary, tucked away in Yokoya, she had people to keep her safe. She couldn’t get herself thrown into another life-threatening situation while she was still recuperating from the last one.

Kyoshi wouldn’t be the reason for Rangi’s obliteration.

And neither would Zoryu.

---

more coming soon! my commissions are open (and so is my ask box!)

#rangshi #atla #rise of kyoshi #kyoshi x rangi #longfic #writing commissions #fanfic #shadow of kyoshi #kyoshi #avatar kyoshi #avatar the last airbender #rangi x kyoshi #fan fic #fic update

[your-highnessmarvel]

From Bleak to Bright - Part Eleven

All other parts on on my masterlist, link provided below.

AN: soooo um i think this may be a little tension relieving ;;;;)))

Warnings: angst, language, SMUT (18+ ONLY)

MASTERLIST - SERIES MASTERLIST

PART ELEVEN

** Two years later, Manhattan, New York **

You scrolled down on your phone, pretending to actually be doing something, while you waited for Natasha. A group of teenagers had come into the cafe, loud, laughing, challenging each other to some stupid fight. You rolled your eyes, chewing on some gum, making sure they kept their distance with you. Who knew what those kids had touched. Ew.

Nat texted you that she was around the corner, and to keep from staying a second longer with the obnoxiously loud teens, you all but ran out the cafe. You marched down the street, spring air brushing through your hair. There was a smell between a wood fire and flowers that drafted from God knows where. The sun was high up, the afternoon in Manhattan hot. Many people walked by wearing shorts or tank tops. Summer was approaching. It brought a smile to your face.

But that smile soon faded as you walked by the newspaper outlet and caught sight of the title. 

TWO YEARS SINCE NEW YORK ATTACK

You gulped, biting on the inside of your cheek. It had already been two years since the last time you’d spoken to him? It seemed like way longer. It seemed as if you’d walked into a parallel universe. No one ever talked about him, least of all your friends and family. Least of all you. 

You shook your head, brushing away the thoughts that brought you back to all those years ago. You shook away an image of a loft, of a coffee table full of leather-bound books, of hands on your body.

“Hey!”

You looked up, Natasha standing before you in a trendy outfit that made her look like a runway model. She had huge sunglasses perched on her nose, pink bubblegum in her mouth. 

“Ready?” she asked. 

“Yeah!” you answered, trying to hide the newspapers with your body, but you saw how her chin dipped when you walked by. She would surely see the titles and tell your brother. Dammit. You’d been doing so well.

Technically, you’d been doing fine. 

Ever since the Avengers had defeated Loki and Thor had brought him back to Asgard, you’d never seen or heard of him. You’d gone to a few rounds of therapy, mostly with psychologists who dealt in soulmates, and after a few months of isolation, Bruce had let you go. It had been a relief to have your phone back, your liberties, your God damn car. 

When you’d gotten the keys to your apartment back, it had felt final. But as the last people invited to your “homecoming” celebration had dwindled out, you’d found yourself in a pit. 

Everything was muted. Yes, you still saw colors, but without the person behind those colors, you just drifted. Yes, you were happy, somewhat, but whenever you saw couples together, something in your chest burned, like a slow leaking flame. You’d never be like them. Even though you’d heard stories about people marrying someone who wasn’t their soulmate, the simple thought of having another man - except Loki - in your life sent shivers down your spine. 

“I heard they got free donuts,” Nat said, bending her head close to yours. You giggled, but there was no heart it in.

She was bringing you to a stupid singles night out. Even though she briefly skirted on the fact that you’d already found your soulmate, she said it was an opportunity “to get out there”.

Hell, maybe it would make you forget Loki, although you highly doubted.

The night went on in a sort of downward spiral. It started off really fast and funny, with music and drinks, and a lot of men fighting to come to talk to you and the hot redhead. But with every passing guy, the more they didn’t look like him, the more they said things that set your teeth on edge, the duller you felt. 

Like being emptied slowly, hand by hand, touch by touch. 

By the time Nat brought you back to your apartment, you could barely manage a smile.

You tried, once again, fixing your stupid leaking tap but decided against it and went straight to bed. Because of that stupid newspaper, you had nightmares, plagued by a dark-haired prince wearing green and gold armor. 

In the morning, you ignored the tap and went to work. When you came back, the tap wasn’t leaking and you thanked your lucky guardian because if you had to hear one more drop, you’d lose it. 

The next night, coming home after drinks with your brother, the windowpane was fixed.

You knew something was wrong when your squeaking front door slid on perfectly oiled hinges. 

Someone had been in your apartment. Multiple times. 

Stepping in your apartment that night, eight nights after the tap was “fixed”, you looked around in the darkness. The shadows seemed denser, more menacing, as if they hadn’t been standing there every night, ever. 

You looked at your tiny kitchen. Nothing seemed amiss. You checked the lock, but it locked on its own with no problem. Even better than before.

You couldn’t actually complain about your little home invader because they had fixed all the problems that were slowly driving you to the brink. But you hadn’t said a word to anybody, not even Bruce, because deep down, you knew who’d be waiting for you one night, eventually. 

The bathroom light had been changed. It used to flicker all the time, giving you the creeps while you took a shower. But now it opened wildly bright and stayed there. 

There. That was the daily change. 

You changed in the bathroom, taking a hot, quick shower, keeping the door firmly locked. You felt watched as you padded across your apartment in your jammy shorts and tank top, your hair a wet rope down your back. 

The cabinet where you kept your mugs had a faulty knob that had cut you on more than one occasion. It was polished now. 

Hands trembling, you pivoted in your kitchen, fingers white-knuckling the countertop. 

“I know it’s you,” you murmured, feeling your heart throbbing in your throat. The shadows seemed to listen. “I know what you’ve been doing.”

You apartment seemed to breathe, swallowing your words, digesting them. But nothing came back to you. You kept expecting the shadows to linger, to move, to break away, but everything remained still, quiet.

Your heart plummeted. 

You went to bed looking out the window, noticing just how clean it was for an apartment in downtown Manhattan. 

You had dreams of him, vivid dreams. You swore you could feel fingers on your cheek the next morning. 

It’s when you walked in to the scent of flowers and found a bouquet of your favorite in the kitchen that you truly lost it. It took everything in you not to pick it up and smash the glass vase against the wall. There was no note, but just the fact that now, he wasn’t being so subtle about him breaking and entering, made your heart bash wildly against your ribs. 

But you knew what he was doing. He was trying to get to you without the others knowing. He’d surely scourged the place for microphones or cameras, just like you’d done two years ago, and found none. He knew the Avengers, or anybody watching, wouldn’t know he’d been here. And just the fact that you’d told no one about the mysterious repairs in your flat meant everything for him.

You turned, flowers at your back. The shadows seemed to be smiling. They knew he was here. 

You were older now, wiser. You knew how to play his little games.

“I’m not afraid,” you said to the dark. The curtains had been drawn in the living room, you noticed, as you made your way there. He’d wanted this to be done in private. 

“I know you’re here,” you continued, inching to the windows, intent on pulling them back to shed some moonlight in your apartment. “You can... you can talk to me,” you whispered, heart heavy and harsh in your ribs. Your hands had begun to shake the closer you got to the curtains. 

When you wrenched them open, exposing the city beneath you, you could barely take your eyes off the horizon.

Because you saw it.

The flicker.

His face there and then not, your heart wrenching in your chest, causing an audible gasp from your lips to echo in the room.

You felt the heat of him at your back. “I thought you were unafraid?” he asked, his voice rumbling, something vicious seizing your insides with a hot grip. 

Something akin to a puzzle piece clicked back into place at the sound of his voice. You could breathe lighter now, see colors more vividly, hear the world around you clearly. All this time, you’d suffocated, been drowning, and now you weren’t.

“I’m not,” you answered, but neither you nor he missed the way your voice trembled.

You felt the warmth of his hand on your hip, saw the reflection of him flicker in the window as he leaned closer, his lips brushing the space beneath your ear. Fire lit everywhere on your flesh as he brought himself flush with you. 

He inhaled. “I’ve missed you,” he mumbled against your skin, the sound of it vibrating in your bones. 

“Where...” you licked your lips and restarted. “Where have you been?”

His other hand braced just under your throat, long fingers seeping warmth through the fabric of your t-shirt. 

“Away,” he mumbled. He slid his hand from your hip to the sliver of skin under the hem of your t-shirt and you hummed involuntarily. His touch was like no other’s. “You’re so soft,” he mumbled. 

You tried not to forget that he’d left you there on the floor two years ago, but the way his body fit against yours made any logical thought seep from your brain.

“I’ve dreamt of you for so long,” he drawled, making it seem as if you’d been separated for an eternity. “I’ve dreamt of your eyes. Your voice. The way your body fits right onto mine.” He shifted slightly, pressing you harshly against him. “I’ve not the heart to take another woman to bed. I want it to be you.”

His words sent a strange heat dripping down into your belly, heavy and wanting. Your mouth parted, and the hand Loki had against your chest slipped up until his thumb pressed against your mouth. “How sweet of you,” you said against his thumb. 

He chuckled lowly. “I can show you sweet,” he said.

“I rather you practice restraint,” you mumbled, even though deep down, you meant none of it.

He chuckled again, shaking his head, lowering his hand back so it lay lightly around your throat. Then his chuckle turned into a groan, his force deepening. “Y/n,” but now his voice was pleading, like a man who’d been deprived of everything. “Please. I’ve thought of you all this time. Don’t push me away. Not you.”

The last part made you frown, but you nonetheless pushed from him, turning to face him. He had deep, dark circles under his eyes, his face ashen as if he hadn’t slept in a millennia. His hair was slightly longer, curling along his jaw, hiding his ears. He wore a white t-shirt and black slacks, but he was cold as you pressed your fingers against his shoulders. 

“Okay,” you whispered. You tried not to maintain eye contact because the haunted look in his green eyes made you sick. 

He bent forward slightly, grasping your face between his huge, warm hands. The first brush of his lips was soft, sending butterflies scuttling across your belly. But then he gripped your face, bringing you to him, and kissed you like he was a starving man and you were his reprieve. 

A strangled moan left his throat, his lips molding to yours, driving you backwards until your spine hit the window. One hand went to the glass to soften your fall, but he didn’t let up his rhythm. You could barely keep up anyway.

He kept kissing you so harshly, delving his tongue between your teeth, angling your head back to kiss you deeply, that every rational thought in you just went to dust. 

You gripped his back, marveling at the strong muscle, bringing him flush against you. One hand went to his hair, knotting in the raven locks, tugging until you swore you’d hurt him. But he kept kissing you, hands venturing to your hips, sliding over your ass, gripping your thighs and hauling you up. 

On instinct, you wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling his arousal just where you wanted him, and he spun you away from the window. How he moved with such eloquence as he devoured your mouth befuddled you, but when your ass found the countertop and Loki pressed himself between your legs, your brain fizzled. A whole jar of butterflies now flew in your belly. 

He broke from the kiss momentarily to grasp your breasts, kneading them in his hands, marveling at the sight. 

“Restraint, Loki,” you mumbled breathlessly, lips swollen. 

One of his brows furrowed, but he went right back to kiss you, holding your tits in his hands, then moving to grip your thighs with such strength it should have hurt. 

“I can’t stop,” he breathed between kisses, holding the back of your head. “I want you. I want you so fucking bad.”

You squeezed your eyes shut harshly, ignoring the red alarms in your head. Because it was him. Because it was him, always him, and now that he was here, touching you almost everywhere, his scent invading your senses, you never wanted him to go. 

He pulled your head back and kissed down your neck, over the swell of your breast, taking one nipple lightly between his teeth. A gurgled moan left your throat, Loki holding your head back, exposing everything to him. 

“No bra?” he grumbled against your skin, his tongue soothing the ache on your nipple. 

You just breathed in response, your legs clenching against his arms. 

He chuckled against your body. His left hand, the free one, slid down the length of your chest until he took one finger to lightly circle you through your pants. 

You gasped, jolting in his grasp, his mouth possessively clamping shut on your nipple. 

“Eager,” he hummed. He was so warm, smelled so fucking good, that the second time he applied pressure and circled his fingers, you all but moaned for everyone to hear. He teased you some more, licking and pleasing you all through your clothing.

Then his mouth left your hardened nipple and traveled up to your ear, where the warmth of his breath made you shiver. “If I can do this to you,” he whispered, circling your core through your pants. “Imagine how it’ll feel when I fuck you.”

His words made you want to clench your thighs together, to keep the heat and pressure there, but his body was still between your legs. He chuckled, biting your neck, hard, knowing it would leave a mark. He yanked your head forward until your eyes met his.

“I can feel just how much you want me,” he mumbled, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling. “I can smell it.”

You rocked once against his hand, eliciting a groan from him as your thigh briefly brushed him through his pants. He was hard. Wanting. The hand behind your hand squeezed until it hurt, but when he soothed his tongue against your neck, circling your clit, you lost yourself in him again. 

“Y/N,” he murmured, chanting your name like a prayer. You were almost there and you couldn’t believe it. You rocked against his hand, biting your lip, and when he saw that, he brought your mouth into a breathtaking kiss. “Cum against me,” he said through each kiss. “Cum.” It was a command. 

You squeezed your eyes, grinding against his circling hand, and when he licked your neck, you all but came apart with a moan. Loki quickly kissed you, swallowing your sounds of pleasure as he slowly, leisurely circled you through your pants. Your legs shaking, you trembled against him until his fingers stopped and he brought his forehead to yours. 

“Run away with me,” he whispered. “Let me ravage you every night, y/n, please.”

Lost in the dizzying aftermath of your orgasm, all you could do was breathe, eyes closed. You fisted one hand in his shirt, feeling his heart beating savagely under his breastbone. 

You tilted your head up, meeting his gaze.

“No,” you said.

AAAAHHHH omg i was so shy writing that little smutty part lmaooo BUT YES MORE TO COME OOOOHHHH (you will get a whole smut scene soon, let me get used to writing smut again hihihihi)

tags:  @subtlemalice @yallgotkik @buckyandlokirunmylife @kaz11283 @legolas-bromance @shylittlemountain @tofeartheunknown @feelmyfckngsoul @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @caffiend-queen @tomhollandsslilslut @lady-loki-ren @nathan-no @rosaline-black @abundanceofcarolines @my-own-oracle @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @marvelouslovely @drbaureid @bored-as-hell-666 @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @theinfinitenerd @toe-vind-ek-jou @ink-and-starlight @blank-bakabane @sunshineonloki @holaamishamigos @palegoopbearlight @heyarely16 @pleaseexecuteme @athalahild @help-i-need-a-social-life @tapismyforte @coloursforyourportrait @celestialstarshadow @fukyouthink @lust-for-pan @thic-thor @winchescumberholland

#loki #lokixyou #lokixyn #lokixreader #loki x you #loki x yn #loki x reader #smut #soulmate au #loki fic #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #imagine loki #loki imagine #loki oneshot

[butgilinsky]

meant to be // np

warning; stress/anxiety, mentions a toxic ex but doesn't go into detail abt it, fluffy nolan, i think that's it?

summary; when you go MIA, Nolan makes sure you're okay. based on the song meant to be by bebe rexha & florida georgia line

word count; 2.8k+

a/n; this is a part of my yee haw series (all fics are stand alones, so don't worry about that) if you have any interest in checking those out too! until then, enjoy fluffy nolan

add yourself to my nhl taglist!

You were usually pretty good at telling yourself that you were blowing things out of proportion. It didn’t always stop you from doing so, but it usually talked you off a ledge. This week, it seemed that there was no talking yourself off of the ledge.

Other than the fact that you were five pages into your portfolio that you were submitting to Temple in an attempt to get into their MFA program, one that you’d been wanting to go to for years at this point, your ex had made a recent appearance in your life. As if the stress from applying to grad school wasn’t enough for you to handle, you had run straight into your ex on your way home from grabbing coffee.

It would’ve been enough if you had just run into him, if you had to exchange pleasantries with the same person who shattered your heart into so many pieces you were still recovering two years after the break up. The same person that traumatized you enough to have to put your current relationship on a speed so slow that you were sure a sloth would have moved faster.

Nolan had been patient with you, which you were beyond thankful for. He was fine with things going at a snail’s pace, given that you weren’t the only one between the two of you that had a rocky past with romantic relationships. It wasn’t news to anyone that you were together, but it had been confusing for just about everyone outside of the two of you.

There wasn’t a label on it, neither of you needed one to know where you stood. Both of you had an understanding that you were just as damaged as you were interested in each other, and working slow without any labels or the need to structure your relationship in society’s idea of normalcy was your middle ground. It allowed the two of you to breathe, without leaving a lingering doubt about how the two of you felt about each other.

People pestered the two of you about it, why you wouldn’t wear a WAGs jacket or introduce Nolan to your parents when they were in town. They didn’t get it, but they didn’t need to. You and Nolan communicated very well with one another, and if the two of you knew what was going on with everything, then nobody else needed to. Neither of you needed anyone else’s validation to be content with where the two of you stood.

But then you ran into your ex. Your shoulder collided with his on the street and while you thought you were piecing yourself back together from everything he put you through, the mere sight of him sent you down a spiral that you had avoided for as long as you possibly could.

It’s not that you missed your ex, because you didn’t. You didn’t miss him or the way he spoke to you, nor did you miss the lack of communication and being left in the dark more often than not. Seeing him made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but everything he put you through came to the forefront of your mind, and you were unintentionally overwhelmed with the worry that you’d end up in the same scenario with Nolan one day.

You didn’t think that Nolan would hurt you, not the way you’d been hurt in the past. You trusted him more than you’ve ever trusted anyone, and he proved that he deserved that trust. It wasn’t the thought that Nolan would become the person your ex had been, but the thought that there would be a day where Nolan was your ex.

It was scary and deafening, and the reason you couldn’t finish your portfolio. You’d been writing for hours, or trying to. The chair you were sitting in had grown uncomfortable in the first hour, and you had migrated around the apartment to look for a place that didn’t hurt your ass or your back. Unfortunately you couldn’t find one, opting to sit on the floor in between your couch and your coffee table. You’d been so lost in thought that you had spent six hours without responding to anyone, not even realizing that time had gone by that quickly until you got a call.

The only reason you even saw the call was the fact that the notification popped up on your computer. You knew he knew something was up because he rarely ever facetimed you without asking if you were free first; though, if he had texted you first there was no way of you knowing with your phone in a completely different room. He only ever facetimed you unannounced when you didn’t answer your phone for a while. He knew you could answer facetime calls on your laptop, and while you weren’t always in the mood to talk to him at that moment, it was enough to get your attention and let you know that he was worried about you.

But you answered it today, regardless of the fact that you looked a mess and felt even worse. You answered because you needed him to ground you, to pull your head out of the clouds and silence the thoughts that had been buzzing in your mind for over 24 hours.

“Hey.” you forced a small smile to your lips before reaching behind you to turn on a lamp, unaware of the darkness you were encased in until now.

“You okay? You’ve been MIA all day.” you rolled your eyes gently, a playful smile playing on your lips.

“It hasn’t been all day.” you tried to assure him that he was being slightly over dramatic, but the look in his eyes told you that that was not the case.

“Y/n, it’s midnight.” that it was, though it was the first time you were realizing that. You had no idea what time it was, and sitting in front of your computer for the past six hours had not helped that fact. “What happened? Talk to me.”

“This portfolio’s just stressing me out.” he hummed, unsure that was the full reason. He could tell in the way that your forehead creased and your eyes narrowed slightly that there was more than just a little stress going on. You’d been stressed about this thing for weeks, there had to be something else that was going on with you.

“So you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong?” you sighed softly, unsure if you wanted to unpack all of that right now. “Alright. Be ready in ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes? Nolan I can’t get ready in ten minutes-”

“Just put a pair of sweats on and go stand outside. I’ll be there in ten.” he hung up then, not giving you much of an option but to do as he said.

Nine minutes after Nolan hung up on you, you were standing outside, teeth chattering lightly while you bounced on the balls of your feet. The familiar car pulling up in front of you made you smile, and when you stepped up to the door you heard the lock click.

You pulled yourself into his car quickly, sighing out in relief at the warmth that encased you. Your eyes found his, a warmth spreading through your chest as you leaned over the center console to kiss him softly. He hummed against your lips, chasing you for just a moment when you pulled back. The next one lasted just a second longer, noses bumping against one another softly.

He pulled back then, moving to kiss your cheek before sitting back in his seat and moving the gear shift into drive. His right hand found its home on your thigh, the warmth from his palm radiating through your sweats and into your skin.

“Where are we going?” your voice was soft and peaceful, like the sound of home on a cold winter evening that Nolan wished he could live in forever.

“Nowhere.” he shrugged, glancing over at you for a moment to smile at you. He didn’t have a destination in mind, just driving around the city for the night. It wasn’t the first time the two of you had done this before, and you doubt it’d be the last.

These nights were your favorite; Nolan driving absolutely nowhere with his hand on your thigh and his ear offered up to you. Sometimes you didn’t talk for hours, just listened to whatever playlist the two of you chose and drove until one or both of you got too tired to continue. Sometimes you ended up hours away from home, which got the two of you (usually Nolan) into trouble from time to time.

“What’s up, what’s rotting your mind?” you leaned your head onto his shoulder, wanting to be close to him more than anything right now.

“It’s stupid.” you whispered gently.

His hand moved up from your thigh to cup the underside of your jaw. He moved towards you, eyes still locked on the road while his lips pecked yours softly. It was cheesy and a bit awkward, but it wasn’t the first time he’d done something like that. It was meant to soothe you, and it did. Nolan wasn’t a man of many words but his actions always spoke loud enough for you to hear him clearly.

“It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you.” his voice was as gentle as his heart, something you loved dearly about him. He wasn’t pushy or demanding, rather patient and gentle.

“I ran into Kai yesterday.” his muscles tensed, along with his hand gripping your thigh just a little tighter than it previously had been. It wasn’t a huge change but you picked up on it, along with the way his jaw clenched and he sighed through his nose.

Nolan had never met Kai, and you hoped he never would. Not because you thought Nolan would kill him or anything, but because you wished that nobody in your current life had to ever interact with people from your past. Kai knew a completely different person than the one Nolan knew, and you didn’t want to be the person you used to be. You didn’t want Nolan to be subjected to hearing about her or the life she previously led.

“Did he say something to you?” you didn’t expect much different from him. He’d always been a safe amount of protective. He wasn’t the type to run out of the house at the first sound of danger and pummel everyone into the ground, he just wanted to make sure you were alright. He wouldn’t put a bounty out on Kai, but if he did or said something that was still bothering you, he’d do everything he possibly could to make you feel better.

“I mean yes, but not in the way that you’re thinking. It wasn’t what he said it’s just,” you sighed, one that made your cheeks puff out and your eyes flutter shut for a moment.

“It’s just that now you’re scared that that’s how we’ll end up.” you lifted your head off of his shoulder, looking at him with narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow.

“How’d you learn how to read minds? That’s a pretty cool party trick, you know?” he laughed gently and tapped the inside of your thigh while shaking his head at you. You always tried to lighten the mood by making small little jokes out of things and while some people found it to be unbearable, Nolan loved every single second of it.

“I wish I could read your mind, it’d make things a lot easier most of the time.” you rolled your eyes but laughed, finding truth in his words.

“I just don’t want history to repeat itself, you know? I’m just scared that the things I’ve been trying to avoid are inevitable. What if they happen anyway? What if everything I’ve been working for is useless and everything i’ve run from is my destiny?” Nolan sighed softly and pulled into a parking garage, one that you weren’t familiar with.

“Everything you and Kai went through, stays between the two of you. I’m not him, and I’ll never be him. I won’t say we’ll never fight, because I obviously can’t guarantee that. We’ll fight, everyone does, but we’ll get past it. We’ll survive it all. That, I can assure you. I can promise you that I would never treat you the way that that douche did.”

He doesn’t promise you the world, nor does he promise to shoot for the stars. He doesn’t promise that things will always be alright, but that’s what you love about Nolan. He doesn’t set unrealistic expectations. He doesn’t tell you what you want to hear just to make you feel better. He’ll do a lot of things to make you feel better, but lying to you isn’t one of them.

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, you know? You just have to let it be, which you’re not entirely skilled at.” you punch his arm softly just as he parks at the top of the parking garage that’s almost completely empty.

“What if what it’s meant to be isn’t what I want it to be, though?” Nolan shook his head gently and turned towards you, a soft smile sitting on his lips.

“It won’t be at times, but that doesn’t mean it won’t ever be. If people could write out their lives exactly like they wanted them to be, nobody’s lives would align. You have to let things play out, baby, and I know that’s the scariest thing about life itself, but it’ll work out. If it’s meant to be, I promise it’ll be.”

Your lips move before your mind can catch up. You’re so immersed in him, neck deep in whatever he’s cooked up for you, but you don’t try to get out. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. You didn’t think that anyone could be so perfectly hand crafted, treated with such care that even his flaws were beautiful. You didn’t plan on telling him you loved him, didn’t plan on saying the words that have done nothing but haunt you for the last few years.

“I love you.” it comes out in a breath, like it’s lifted a weight off of your shoulders.

He can tell you didn’t mean to say it, because your eyes blow wide open and your lips part in a way that he can tell you’ve spoken out of impulse rather than preparation. Your cheeks are hot and your hands shake just enough for Nolan to reach for one of them and hold it tightly in his own.

He’s smiling, which is as confusing as the small laugh that he lets out. It’s confusing and almost angering, but you don’t have time to ask because the second your brow furrows, he’s tumbling out an explanation for his reaction.

“I love you too. Have for a while, probably always will.” it melts your heart that’s sunk into your stomach. You’re not sure what you did that made the universe gift you with Nolan, though you believe it to be something between adopting a child in a past life or buying a woman’s order at Taco Bell when she forgot her wallet at home.

He expects you to say something else, maybe ask if he’s joking or not, but you don’t. You’re frozen in your spot, tears building up in your eyes that make Nolan meet you over the center console and pull you into his chest. He doesn’t know exactly why you’re so emotional, but he has a feeling it has to do with your traumatic past and the fear that others have installed in you. He just wants you to be happy, especially if he gets to stick around to make it happen himself.

“I love you so much, and it’s fucking terrifying.” he kisses the top of your head, his hand moving up and down your back in the most soothing pattern he can come up with.

“I know, and I’m scared too. Maybe we always will be, but we can’t spend too much time worrying about it or else we won’t get to experience it. We’ll ruin it for ourselves, and I don’t want to do that.” you shook your head, your silent way of telling him that you don’t want to do that either. You wanted to let yourself cherish falling in love with Nolan.

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, right?” he smiles down at you, one of the widest smiles you’ve ever seen him present. You store it in your memory, hoping you’d never forget the sight of him smiling at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the word.

“That’s right, baby. And I have a pretty good feeling about us.”

-

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#nolan patrick #nolan patrick x reader #nolan x reader #philadelphia flyers #flyers #nhl fic #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Like a fool [Oliver Wood x Reader] - Heloise’s Christmas Calendar - Challenge

December 24 – Like a fool [Oliver Wood x Reader]

Title: Like a fool Pairing: Oliver Wood x Female!Reader   Word count: 4.7k   Published: 24 December, 2020 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore   Notes: This is part of Heloise’s Christmas Calendar. Summary: You have fancied the Gryffindor quidditch captain so obviously, the whole school knew about it. Of course, Oliver didn’t miss to realise your feelings which you were sure he secretly returned. That was until you overheard a conversation.  Challenge: [x] [x] [x] [x]  I wrote this piece for @lunalovegxxd​ ‘s 12 days of angst event using the below prompt. 

24.12 - “Left under the mistletoe”

This is also my entry to @chudleycanons​ ‘s writing challenge using the below trope and prompt. 

Trope: “Unrequited love” Prompt: “You’re all I ever think about.”

Heloise’s Christmas Calendar Masterlist

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

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Oliver Wood was once again in detention. He was not supposed to, he was the captain of Gryffindor’s quidditch team, he was regulated and composed, a born leader. He was always on top of things, ready with an answer even in the most unexpected situations.

Except when it came to you.

The boy knew of your crush on him, you have been chasing him for months relentlessly, but he just couldn’t figure you out. Why him, why then and certainly why you always got him in trouble. He didn’t want to think of you, he wanted you to be the last person to think of, but your continuous presence around him made you become the main focus of his attention and it riled him up. An infuriating feeling bubbled deep inside him each time you occupied his thoughts.

You didn’t cause trouble on purpose though, it just seemed to happen, but you used the opportunity wisely, to spend time with Oliver even if it was in detention. Whilst it annoyed him, you enjoyed each and every moment you could spend with him.

He groaned as he wrote down a part of the school policy for the 53rd times. He was angry about being in detention again, especially because of the scolding he received from McGonagall. The professor was rather unhappy that the captain of her house’s quidditch team once again found himself in trouble and she wasn’t afraid of telling the boy off in front of the whole school, embarrassing him.

“Are you done?” You asked, abruptly pulling Oliver out of his thoughts.

“Would you mind not talking to me?” He asked with gritted teeth.

“It’s your fault that we are here this time.” You shrugged and put your legs up on the table as you leaned back against the chair, your skirt sliding up on your thighs. His head shot up, his eyes ready to murder you or at least to try, before they wandered to the exposed skin on your legs. You could just see the slight flicker of fire in his eyes and no one could convince you that the boy didn’t feel something for you.

Oliver visibly shook his head, his eyes becoming firm again. “And how is this my fault?” He asked with a warning tone.

“If you gave into my advances before, we wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t have to chase after you, I wouldn’t have to keep telling you that I fancied you, and you wouldn’t get so pissed off about it that you break McGonagall’s window.” You wiggled your brows with a playful smirk.

“It was not my fault.” He raised his voice. “I’m your captain, you should listen to me, but you are the only person who always goes against me. You are driving me insane. If you did what I told you to do, things wouldn’t have spiralled out of control.” He huffed.

“As I said, if you accepted my date offer, none of the detentions would have happened.” You replied nonchalantly.

“Honestly, can’t you just stop? I have never fancied you, nor will I ever fancy you.” He spoke firmly, which made you chuckle. You stood up from your spot and walked in front of his table, bending over it, leaning on his notes with your forearm, your eyes lining up with him.

You could clearly see his adam’s apple nervously moving, his breath hitching for a second from the proximity you created. “How long are you going to keep lying to yourself?” You raised a brow questioningly. “I would have given up long ago if I didn’t see the changes in you. Back when I first confessed, you just ignored me, but it’s not the case anymore. I rile you up so easily, you can’t get me out of your head. Whenever I’m around you, it makes you nervous and when I touch you- I can see the goosebumps appear on your skin.” You whispered against his lips as you leaned forward, caressing his forearm, your own heart speeding up as you could feel him in your grasp already. His eyes wandered to your lips, watching as you bit on your lower lip.

But he quickly composed himself. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” He spoke firmly, but he couldn’t fool you. You have studied each and every expression and little movement, his whole body language eagerly.

“We will see about that.” You replied with a cheeky smirk as you leaned back and walked to your table. You had 3 more weeks before Christmas break to get the boy and you were determined to do so.

*

Days passed by and Oliver was just exhausted from your constant nagging. Or so he kept saying. But you knew he didn’t mind it as much as he tried to tell others. You thought maybe he was just embarrassed that a girl was chasing after him, instead of letting him do the hunting. You thought maybe he was just inexperienced with girls, since you haven’t heard much about his love-life. You had many thoughts on why he didn’t want to give in to your advances, but him not having feelings for you was not one of them.

He sat in the Gryffindor common room with Fred and George on each side of his as they got lost in their conversation. You sat in an armchair in a corner with your friends, watching Oliver’s wide back and broad shoulders under the uniform. You were ignoring your friend’s chattering, the boy stole your attention without his knowledge. Or so you thought.

His ears started growing redder, his cheeks taking on the same colour. He turned around, his eyes meeting yours as you offered him a playful grin. He rolled his eyes and turned away, his ears taking on an even darker shade. He was way too obviously affected by you for someone who was supposed to hate you which made your confidence grow.

You stood up from your chair and walked behind the couch the boy was seated on, halting right behind Oliver. Fred and George realised your presence, but as you placed your index finger in front of your lips to quiet them, they decided to play along. They continued the conversation with a cocky smirk across their face.

“You seem to be blushing, mate.” Fred chuckled loudly, which earned a slap on the back of his head from Oliver.

“Leave me alone with your nonsense. Why on earth would I be blushing?” He huffed in an annoyed tone.

“Well, maybe because a certain girl forgot her eyes on you?” He grinned playfully. You were glad that Fred brought you up in their conversation, letting you listen in on Oliver’s thoughts.

“And why would I care about that?” Oliver asked with a nonchalant shrug, his tone clearly bored of the subject matter.

“Maybe you are catching feelings?” George quipped in, wriggling his brows. “I mean, no one would blame you. Y/n is certainly a catch.” He nudged Oliver’s shoulder.

“Are you having a laugh?” He scoffed, his scottish accent growing thicker in frustration. “I can’t stand that woman. She is making my life miserable. I have never seen anyone being so stubborn. She is infuriating and if she wasn’t a woman, I would have probably hexed her already.” He hissed through his gritted teeth. “I don’t just have to deal with her when we have quidditch practice, no, she follows me like a pathetic little puppy.” He spit in anger. You could always ignore his harsh glares, his angered tone, his irritated, hurtful comments. You always thought he was being cold because he felt awkward around you, but hearing him talk about you with so much hatred opened your eyes. You felt your throat close up, your eyes stinging from the unshed tears. You felt like he was holding onto your heart and deliberately squeezed it to cause you pain.

“Wait-” George wanted to cut him off, but Oliver didn’t let him.

“No! I understand she likes me, but what she is doing is not normal. Borderline stalker, if you ask me. She doesn’t care about my feelings, she is simply trying to force herself onto me without my permission. She doesn’t care about privacy, she is basically following me around. And most of all, it doesn't matter how many times I tell her to leave me alone, I can’t get rid of her. She is like a leech.” He groaned, agitation clear in his voice.

Your chest felt as if a heavy weight fell on it, your lungs unable to expand, your throat closed off the air it craved so badly. You felt your eyes fill up, tears glistening in them. You watched from the side as Fred looked up at you with an apologetic look. You held back the tears and nodded to the boy, silently telling him that you were just fine, but you couldn’t stay any longer. You turned on your heels and rushed up the stairs, straight to your room.

“That was harsh, mate.” Fred scolded the boy, but you couldn’t hear. You loudly shut the door behind you and fell on top of your bed, tears sliding down your face, being swallowed by your duvet.

You always thought he was just playing hard to get. You weren’t stupid, you saw the changes in him, you saw the way he blushed, the way you caught him staring at you when noone else was looking, but after all that you heard, you could only think of how pathetic you were.

You groaned in frustration, rubbing your eyes to get rid of the never-ending tears. You were disgusted of yourself, of the time you spent chasing him. Going after him for months, feeling as if you have made progress, openly showing your interest in him made you feel like a fool and now everyone knew how pathetic your crush on Oliver Wood was.

You hated yourself!

You hated him!

*

You have cried for days, your eyes were bloodshot, your cheeks swollen. You weren’t just upset about your situation, you have walked around like a bomb ready to explode, picking fights with anyone who got in your way. But by the end of the week you were just tired. Whilst Oliver’s words still hurt, you understood getting him in trouble wasn’t the best option to spend time with him, and you were smart enough to know that people didn’t always like those who they were liked by. You knew now that Oliver didn’t like you, you understood, but it was certainly not easy to see him all the time whilst trying to get over him.

You spent your time watching the boy from a distance, hurting yourself even more, but even if you tried harder, you just couldn’t get yourself to look away. Sometimes you caught his eyes as he turned to you, but you quickly turned away, pretending to focus on something very important in the distance. You didn’t want to feel like a fool, who even after being hated so openly, still ran after her crush.

You started off each day with a pep talk, preparing yourself for his presence. You couldn’t avoid him, you had classes together, you played in the same quidditch team, you were part of the same Hogwarts house, living in the very same Gryffindor tower.

Days passed painfully slowly as you kept forcing your gaze away from him, trying to concentrate on anything but his chiselled jawline, broad shoulders and cheeky grin across his face. It was a hard task, but you didn’t want to feel pathetic anymore, you had to work on getting over him and the best way to do it was to get your brain busy with anything, but him.

You walked towards your Transfiguration class, when a hand landed on your shoulder, stopping your steps. You turned around, your brows running high, your lips parting in surprise.

“Can I talk to you?” Oliver asked as he let go of your shoulder. You frowned at the boy, knowing how happy he must be to get rid of you. Though you were happy to see him, it also hurt in the worst possible way. Was he ready to laugh at you? He was finally free of you, he had no business with you.

“What for? If it’s about quidditch, you can talk to me at practice.” You spoke firmly. You didn’t mean to be rude, you knew people didn’t choose who they liked and Oliver was no exception. He couldn’t force himself to like you, nor could you force him to. Though you weren’t kind to him, the stern stance you took on was to protect your composed self.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed, his head falling forward, his gaze fixed on the ground. You frowned at the boy, unable to understand his apology.

“What are you sorry for?” You asked in confusion.

“You have been avoiding me and I didn’t understand why. George finally told me that you overheard what I said.” He explained.

You scoffed at his reply, your eyes wandering around the corridor, all sorts of angry thoughts running around in your head. Of course, now he was sorry, you thought. “Are you sorry because I heard what you said or because you said it?” You raised a questioning brow, a sceptical look spread across your face.

“Both.” He finally lifted his head to connect his deep brown eyes with yours. “I’m sorry that you heard what I said, but I shouldn’t have said it in the first place.” You knew he meant it, he was being genuine. You knew him way too well to know when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. “It was insensitive of me and honestly I didn’t mean it. I don’t want to look for excuses, but I was pissed off and the words just came out of my mouth. I really am very sorry.” It was the first time that he was standing in front of you without a hurtful word to say or an annoyed expression across his handsome face. For the first time you stood in front of him without confessing your love for him and chasing after the boy who never wanted you.

You took a deep breath, processing his words. “Your words hurt, you know?” You asked, looking into his eyes. He nodded in confirmation with an apologetic look across his face. “I guess I didn’t handle this whole situation well either. I was annoyingly stubborn.” A tiny smile was hiding in the corner of your lips as you reached for his hand to shake it. “I guess we are even. Both of us did some stupid things.” He looked down at your hand, before a smile appeared across his face and happily accepted your gesture. “I have class now, but I will see you at practice.” You said and without a second thought you left Oliver behind, heading to your class.

You didn’t plan on communicating with him more nor did you want to become friends with him, you were nowhere near getting over him. But you were glad he felt sorry and you were certainly happy that in the end, he didn’t hate you after all.

*

You were seated on your broom at the quidditch pitch, waiting for instructions from Oliver. To avoid any unnecessary conflicts, you tried to interact with him less in classes and at practice. Whilst you weren’t hated by him, you knew you had to keep him at arm’s length to be able to get over him.

You put a lock on your lips and when you were told to do something, you nodded diligently and did it. From a loud and opinionated person, you have become a ghost of yourself. You haven’t rebelled anymore nor did you get into arguments with the captain. It was just quiet and peaceful. Too peaceful to those around you who knew you well.

As practice finally finished, you landed on the quidditch pitch and hurried to the changing room.

“Y/n!” You heard Angelina from behind. You halted, waiting for her to arrive next to you, before you both headed to the changing room. “Are you okay?” She asked with a worried look.

“Of course.” You smiled, trying to shoo her worries away.

“You haven’t really been yourself recently.” She said and you didn’t need to ask to understand what she actually meant. Whilst it hurt you to distance yourself from Oliver, you didn’t want to seem any more pathetic than they already thought you were.

“I’m fine, Angie.” You placed a hand on her shoulder squeezing it reassuringly. Although the movement was more to give yourself some strength, to overcome the following 2 weeks before the break.

The castle was already decorated for Christmas, floating candles flying around the corridors, fake snow falling from the ceiling before they disappeared abruptly. Tiny Christmas trees decorated every corridor, a gigantic tree standing proudly at the Great hall in all its glory.

As you finished dressing and headed out of the changing room Angie called after you to wait for her. You looked back to give her a nod, completely missing the person standing in front of you as you accidentally walked into his back.

“Sorry.” You apologised, rubbing your forehead as Oliver turned around and shook his head. You wanted to move past him to leave, but your legs froze on the spot. Your eyes studied his handsome features eagerly. It’s been days since you actually looked at the boy, without trying to forget how good looking he was. His brown eyes scanned your face, before connecting them to yours. It’s been a while since you looked into each other’s eyes, let alone kept eye contact. You tried to force away the little scream in your head that was trying to convince you that he looked at you differently, that his eyes were warm and welcoming, not cold, hateful or apologetic anymore.

You heard a loud chuckle and as you turned your head you saw Fred pointing above you with a comical look. You lifted your head to see a mistletoe appear above you from the ceiling, leaving you gaping. Your eyes wandered back to Oliver who was still looking at the plant above him. You watched as his jaw tightened, the meaning of the mistletoe hitting him hard.

Whilst the randomly appearing mistletoes weren’t the professor’s inventions, nor were they approved by them, cunning students found a way around the rules and charmed the little buggers to appear in the most unexpected times.

Oliver’s eyes finally met yours, his lips parted in surprise as he realised what he was supposed to do. You prayed for whoever was up there to give you a chance. Just maybe a kiss on the cheek or even on the back of your hand, wrongfully getting your own hopes up.

But you were wrong.

The boy took a last look at you, his eyes holding an unknown expression as he turned on his heels and hurried out of the changing room with his steps disappearing faster than you have ever heard. You couldn’t deny the pain you felt, the suffocating feeling in your throat, your tears screaming to be able to escape. You cleared your throat and left the room, feeling the uncomfortable gazes on you. You couldn’t wait for Angelina, you needed to disappear. Once again you were the pathetic party, who longed after the boy who didn’t want you.

You just wanted the Christmas break to arrive already, you didn’t want to see him every single day anymore.

*

The last week before the holidays was going even slower, forcing you to be a shadow of your usually loud and confident self. You didn’t have energy to act as if you weren’t hurting. Teenage love is cruel, you feel it hundred times stronger and you don’t know how to cope with it. That was exactly how you felt. Unable to cope and hurting each time you caught sight of him.

You sat on one of the couches in the Gryffindor common room, the place empty and silent, two words you could hardly ever say about your part of Hogwarts. You watched the clock above the fireplace ticking. It was 3am, you were supposed to be asleep already, but you just couldn’t keep your eyes closed, your messy thoughts occupying your brain, insomnia laughing at you in the face.

You heard footsteps approaching, but you didn’t look up. You weren’t a prefect, you couldn’t care less about who walked around the castle at such late hours. You felt the couch sunk in beside you, but you didn’t move to look up at the arrival, nor did you care to know who it was. You were comfortable in the silence, your thoughts being your only friend.

“I’m sorry.” You heard his hoarse voice. You thought you heard it wrong, your head whipped around to look at him in shock as you realised his familiar voice.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, feeling slightly awkward after your last encounter in the changing room.

“I couldn’t sleep.” He shook his head, his eyes fixed on the fireplace. “I’m sorry.” He repeated himself again.

“For what this time?” You asked curiously. “You seem to enjoy apologising to me.” You chuckled lightly, making him smile as well, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t enjoy it to be honest. I wish I didn’t have to apologise.” He heaved a deep sigh. “I didn’t want to hurt you when I left you under the mistletoe. It’s just-“ you didn’t let him finish it, you cut straight into his sentence.

“Wait, wait, please don’t apologise for that. It’s nothing. I’m sure it was just Fred and George’s stupid prank and you don’t have to apologise for something like this. Look, it’s not like you cursed me or started a fight with me for no particular reason. It was just a silly little thing, you really shouldn’t feel the need to be sorry at all.” You kept rambling, your words leaving your lips without control, your mind in overdrive as you tried to feel less embarrassed but forced yourself into an even more awkward situation.

“Have you finished?” He asked with a raised brow and a slight smirk across his face.

“Yeah.” You breathed as you closed your eyes momentarily, heaving a deep sigh, planning to dig yourself a six feet deep hole to hide in until you graduated.

“I am apologising because I wanted to kiss you.” He confessed. Your eyes widened in surprise as you watched his profile, his jaw tightening in the dim light as he let out a sigh. “I can’t tell you what it is, I don’t exactly know how I feel, but I know I wanted to kiss you under that stupid mistletoe.” He turned to you finally, his brown eyes looking right into your soul, or that’s how you felt. You weren’t sure how to react. It made you happy that he wanted to kiss you, but he didn’t in the end. It made you feel warm and giddy that he felt something for you, but in the end, he wasn’t sure what. You didn’t know how to react to someone who didn’t know his own feelings.

“I am confusing you, aren’t I?” He asked with a small smile, which earned him a single nod from you. “I’m confusing myself too.” He scoffed as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. You didn’t dare to talk, fearing to ruin the moment, afraid of making a fool out of yourself.

Silence fell on the two of you, your heartbeat loud enough for you to hear it in your own ears. Oliver never made you nervous, it was you who chased after him all along, but for the first time, you felt as though your heart wanted to jump out of your throat, your lips dried out in nervousness and in your awkward state you didn’t even know where to put your hands.

You had a silly idea, one that you were scared to voice, so you decided to push it in the back of your mind and instead forced yourself to talk. “What do you feel? I mean, you said you can’t word it, but maybe you could describe it?” You asked as you watched the flames in the fireplace, your throat drying out in your nervous state. You felt his gaze on you, but you didn’t dare to look at him as you waited for him to reply.

“You know, you’re all I ever think about.” You turned towards the boy, your eyes wide in surprise. “At first it was because you annoyed me with your constant love confessions, but since you stopped, I don’t know why, but your face keeps appearing in my head.” He chuckled weakly. “When we are in the same room, I keep looking for your eyes, but recently you haven’t been returning it and it makes me feel heavy.” He scoffed at his own words. “I thought I wanted you to stop hanging around me, but now that you did, it drives me nuts that you are not there.” You wanted to jump up from the couch and throw your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug, but you didn’t dare to move. It felt like you were in a dream and you were scared it would disappear the second you moved. “When we stood under that mistletoe, I really wanted to kiss you, but I was so confused and I just couldn’t do it. Since then I have been having a battle inside me.”

You gulped loudly as your silly idea from earlier returned, but after all you have heard from Oliver, you couldn’t keep it in any longer. “Maybe if you kissed me now, it would help.” You whispered, your eyes leaving him and focusing on the fireplace. You felt his intense gaze on you, but you didn’t dare to turn. You didn’t want to see his face if in case he decided to reject you again.

You felt him shuffle on the couch, soon the material sinking in right beside you. He placed a hand on your cheek, turning you towards him, his eyes studying you curiously. “Did you mean that?” He asked and you nodded in reply, his proximity not letting a word escape your lips. Your breath hitched as you felt him leaning closer, his lips gently grazing yours before connecting your lips.

You wanted to sigh into the kiss, his lips on yours feeling as if they were made to be for you, but the air was stuck in your lungs, fearing he would pull back. It was a slow kiss, both of you experiencing an unknown territory, studying each other’s movements, the sensation the kiss made you feel.

You pulled away for a long-awaited breath. His eyes were closed, but you could read his satisfied, content expression. A small smile spread across your face, feeling both confident and uncertain at the same time. Before you could have even said something or question his feelings, he pulled you back against his lips, kissing you hungrily, his usual confidence catching up with him.

You froze for a moment, but soon you kissed him back as passionately as you could, trying to force all your feelings in that one kiss. You ran your fingers through his short brown hair, scratching his scalp gently, earning a silent moan from him.

As he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed. You watched his long lashes spread across his cheeks, his heavy breathing tickling your skin. “Did that help?” You whispered, which made him silently chuckle, earning a small smile from you.

“It certainly did.” He replied as he opened his eyes. “I don’t think I ever want to stop kissing you.” He confessed, your smile growing wider as you bit into your bottom lip.

“Noone says you have to.” You giggled as he pulled you back against his lips again, enjoying the feel of your mouth on his.

The night quickly washed away as you laid in each other’s arms on the couch, but you knew with the new day, you are on to a fresh start, a start where your unrequited love isn’t unrequited after all.

Notes: If you enjoyed reading this little piece, please don’t forget to leave a like, comment and/or reblog. Your opinion matters and gives us motivation. Thank you ^^

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[krabstick32]

Snow Melts Quicker in Water

Pairing: Giyuu x Reader

Synopsis: You and Giyuu fight, but things have a way of sorting themselves out. 

Tags/warnings: very light angst, mostly fluff, super light make out session uwu

a/n: thank you for requesting @aliaisreal​!! you’re super sweet, so thank you very much for your patience and understanding!! I hope the wait was worth it!! 🥺

Link to the ask: Request by @aliaisreal​

The best (and kindest) way possible people could describe Tomioka Giyuu was that he was like water itself.

Like water, he adapted easily and quickly, His movements were fluid and continuous, unstoppable in its actions like a waterfall spilling over a cliff. His voice was baritone, smooth, but held power underneath the surface. He flowed through any obstacle in his life as best as he could, and that rang true even to your relationship. 

While he thought that he mostly went with the flow, It’s been an entire week since your fight, and it’s been an entire week since he’s talked to you.

Admittedly, you two have fought before—minor little squabbles where he always took it upon himself to be the first to apologize. He didn’t like the idea of you upset, but now was different. This was probably the biggest fight he’s ever had with you, and as much as he loves you, he didn’t want to be the one to make the first move this time.

One moment, he came home to you, tired and ready to go straight to your shared room and drop dead for the next few hours, but in the next, the two of you were saying things that neither of you meant, arguing over something that should have been a simple thing. 

That night, the fight was so big that he ended up taking refuge in the butterfly estate. 

Well, given the injuries he got in his last mission, he was already going to go the next morning, but he was hoping to see you and rest first before anything else. 

Breathing out a sigh, he sits up from the cold hospital bed he’s been sleeping on for the past week, and reflexively brings a hand to the bandages around his stomach. He never did like fighting with you. It always left a heavy weight on his chest, and it always occupies his mind, resulting in him fighting slightly sloppier than he’d like.  

Maybe he should apologize? There was a pillar meeting later on in the day, so if he wanted to, he could. He usually did, within the day, but this was the longest the two of you were actively mad at each other. The two of you fought, but last night was the first time the two of you fought for that long.

But for once, he didn’t want to. For once, he wanted you to make the first move, and maybe, just this once he should. 

Giyuu breathes out a heavy sigh. He’ll just think about that later.

When Giyuu arrived at the Ubuyashiki Garden, he was thrown off by the fact that you weren’t there. He was further surprised when the Oyakata-sama came in, and there was still no sign of you.

Between the both of you, you were the early bird, and would usually be one of the first who arrived, if you didn’t come dragging him by his haori.

Your absence was rubbing him off the wrong way. He’s missed you a lot so he was really hoping to see you today, even if the two of you got into a fight.

While his facade was as perfectly emotionless and stoic as ever, his mind was spiralling deeper into worry. Why weren’t you here? Were you that mad? Were you so pissed that you chose to forgo the meeting because of him?

(Unbeknownst to him, his fellow pillars were looking at him. His face didn’t change, but everyone could see his worry clear as day.)

Oyakata-sama dismisses the meeting after a while, and everyone bows, leaving right after they were assigned with new missions and patrols. Giyuu only had to patrol his region in the evening...maybe he should go look for you?

On his way back to his estate to search for you, he passes by the butterfly estate and sees Tanjirou and his friends helping the girls hang the sheets. Well, it was more like Tanjirou was helping, while Zenitsu and Inosuke quarreled.

Tanjirou immediately notices Giyuu, raising a hand in greeting. He quickly hangs the bedsheet in his hand to rush over to the raven haired man. “Tomioka-san! How are you?”

“Hello Tanjirou.” Giyuu responds as the young demon slayer stands in front of him, adding, “I’m fine.”

“I’m glad! You seem distressed though, is everything alright? Are you worried about (F/N)-san?”

Giyuu doesn’t even try to hide it, simply nodding and feeling a little shy from how Tanjirou could easily read him. “She wasn’t at the meeting earlier. She’s usually there first.”

He places a hand over his chin and nods. “Oh, of course she’s not.”

That was news to him. “What? Do you...know where she is?”

“No…” Tanjirou responds, but his face immediately crumples in on itself, his eyeballs rolling back into his head. Both of them knew he was lying, but Giyuu still feels a little bad that he’s using the boy’s honest and earnest personality to his advantage.

Regardless, He gives the younger boy a look that has Tanjirou looking away abashedly. “I don’t think I’m supposed to say anything…”

“Tanjirou…”

It doesn’t take much for him to cave, and he sighs before telling Giyuu what he knows. “She went out for a mission. I thought you knew, but—” He cuts himself off when his nose detects panic and worry, the smell nearly taking over his senses. “—Ah! But don’t worry, Giyuu-san! This is (F/N)-san, I’m sure she’ll be fine!”

Oh, Giyuu knew you were strong and capable, but with a job as dangerous and unpredictable as theirs, so many things could happen. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to curse his pride. He should have approached you right after, he shouldn’t have let this go on longer than it should have.

The best thing he could do right now was wait for you, and apologize as soon as he sees you.

He hopes he gets the chance.

“You’re right. She’ll be fine.”

Tanjirou wasn’t sure who Giyuu was trying to convince.

As the Snow Hashira, people expected you to be cold, stern, harsh, and while it’s not completely wrong, you were one of the kindest out of all the pillars. You had a heart of gold that shone through and had a smile that could warm even the coldest of hearts. It made it easier for people to approach you despite the initial impression, but everyone found it ironic that the Snow Pillar was one of the warmest, kindest, most genuine slayer from the bunch.

You were proud of your work as a demon slayer—saving lives, and killing the very thing that brought you and so many others so much pain—but the fact that you and your friends walked hand in hand with death was… well, it was a lot to take in.

Death is, and never will be something you think you’ll get used to. It was always painful—knowing that you could have done something to help, or knowing that their death was beyond your power. Whether you liked it or not, it was one of those things that just happened. No matter how much you wanted cheat death, there was no stopping it—

Which was one of the main reasons why you got so mad at Giyuu when he came home to you all bruised and bloody.

Instead of going to the butterfly estate, it was normal that he’d come home straight to you after a particularly challenging mission, in which cases you’d do basic first aid before rushing him to Shinobu. There wasn’t any problem really. There were moments where you would come home to him in a similar state, where he’d be the one giving you first aid, and you were happy he trusted you enough to show you his vulnerable side.

But you were just so painfully reminded of how you became a demon slayer, of how your family sacrificed themselves for your escape. You could see that Giyuu was barely thinking of himself, often throwing himself in harm’s way just to get a mission done.

Seeing someone you love give such little importance to himself made you both sad and angry. It rubbed you the wrong way, and you couldn’t help but burst and get mad at him. The fight escalated quickly, and both of you said things you didn’t mean.

Looking back, it was a little stupid. You reacted irrationally and immaturely when you could have talked it out with him like an adult. You acknowledged that it was mostly your fault, and that you should have been the one to apologize, but you just couldn’t admit your mistake, seeing as you still agreed with how reckless he was being.

So you avoided him, devoting nearly all of your time to your missions.

A few days after you started avoiding him, Oyakata-sama sent for you and assigned a mission that needed an entire day of travel. There was a group of Tsuchinoto’s that weren’t doing too well, and it required you to dispose of the demon and help them in any way you can. While you took the job with no qualms, you were a little apprehensive. You and Giyuu still hadn’t made up, and this mission required at least three days, and that’s taking into account if everything went smoothly, which things rarely did.

It didn’t sit right for you to leave without seeing him, so the morning you planned to leave, you dropped by the Butterfly Estate to see him. You haven’t talked to him for five full days now, and while he didn’t talk a lot, you really missed his company.

You find him sleeping in one of the rooms. A small part of you was hoping that he’d be awake so you could talk a bit, maybe even apologize before you left, but he didn’t even move at all when you opened the door. Considering how much of a light sleeper he was, it was a little surprising that he didn’t stir at all when you sat by the edge of his bed beside him, but he was still recovering from the injuries of his previous battle, so it can hardly be helped. In fact, it worked in your favor, because he didn’t wake up when you pressed a small kiss to his temple.

Softly, you put your forehead against his and press a hand against his cheek, whispering as lightly as you could. “I’ll be going now, but I’ll come back. I love you.”

He was clearly unconscious, but the way he leans closer to your touch made your heart melt and butterflies flood your stomach. Even when you were supposed to be fighting, he could still make you feel this way.

It figures. Snow always did melt quicker in water.

You smile and push the stray hairs away from his face. You let your hand caress his cheek as you memorize his features as best as you could, leaving the room once you've realized that you need to go soon. Turning, you take one last look at Giyuu before closing the door as softly as you could—and coming face to face with dark red eyes.

You let out a small yelp, too late to realize that it was only Tanjirou smiling up at you in confusion.

“Tanjirou-kun! You surprised me!”

“Sorry about that (F/N)-san. I was on my way to check on Nezuko.” He laughs a little bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks back up at you though when he realizes whose room you were coming out of. “What are you doing coming out of Giyuu-san’s room? Is there something wrong?”

Was there something wrong? Well technically there was, as you two were avoiding each other, but you brush off his concern, finding it a little awkward to explain. “Oh, no! Not at all, I just wanted to see him before leaving for a mission.”

“A mission?”

You nod. “Yes, I’m not sure of all the details yet, but it might take a while.”

“Oh, I see! Please take care (F/N)-san!”

“Thank you Tanjirou-kun, I will. Stay out of trouble alright?”

“Will do!” Tanjirou was quick to deliver a salute, making you giggle despite your heavy heart. Seeing one of the Kamado siblings always made you smile - they were too adorable for their own good.

As you were about to step out the hall, you suddenly remember something.“Ah, by the way Tanjirou-kun, Giyuu was asleep so I didn’t want to bother him, but can you not tell him that I dropped by?”

The young boy seems to be thrown off by your weird request, and tries to question you as politely as he could. You were still his superior after all, and a person he deeply respected. “Eh? Not tell Giyuu-san?”

“Yes.”

Tanjirou was apprehensive—he couldn’t lie for his life after all—but you must have your reasons, so instead, he resolved to just do his best. He was the eldest son! He could do this! “Oh, okay then, I’ll do my best (F/N)-san!”

“Wonderful! Thank you, Tanjirou-kun.”

When Tanjirou finally cracked and told Giyuu where you were, the Water Pillar waited as patiently as he could. He was known for his patience, and for his go with the flow attitude, but when it came to you, he wanted nothing more than to just rush by your side. When he discovered your mission, he was practically itching to run all the way over to you. You leaving for your mission before he nor you could apologize sat terribly in his gut. The only thing tying him down to his post was his sense of duty. He still had missions to attend to here, and unless someone could cover for him, or unless it was a terrible emergency, he couldn’t leave.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you as a fellow pillar, but as your boyfriend, he was worried for you. Your fight left a horrible taste in his mouth, and he could never forgive himself if that was the last moment he had with you.

So instead, he sat patiently, going through routine and accomplishing his patrols and missions dutifully.

It wasn’t until a few days later when he learned of what happened to your party.

It was a lower moon, and while that would have been an easy job for you, you had five other slayers to protect and worry about. His crow reported that everyone was quickly brought to the Butterfly Estate, and that was the last thing he needed to hear before bolting from his estate and out to Shinobu’s.

“Where is she?”

Shinobu turns as Giyuu bursts through the doors, her smile as saccharine as ever. “Ah, hello to you too Tomioka-san!”

“Kochou, where is (F/N)?” Giyuu looked about ready to tear down the whole place to look for you, and Shinobu knew that. Regardless, Shinobu’s smile never wavers as she continues to tease him.

“Ara, are you worried about (F/N)-chan?” She continues, but for the first time, it eases him. Shinobu loved pushing his buttons, but she knew when to stop. If she was being like this, you should be alive, at the very least. She doesn’t motion or signal Giyuu to follow her, but he was quick to walk after the Insect Pillar, moving as quick and as fluid as flowing water.

Shinobu stops at a door, and slides it open to reveal you awake, sitting up on the bed. You seemed to be a little bruised and worse for wear with all the bandages and discolored patches of skin, but you were alive and you were breathing, and that’s all what matters to Giyuu right now.

From her periphery, Shinobu could see the relief on Giyuu, and as much as she liked pissing Giyuu off, she knows the feeling and backs off. There was always another time for teasing, she can do that later.

“I’ll leave you two be. Tomioka-san be careful of her injuries, alright?” As promised, the door slides back closed as Shinobu leaves you two be.

After a while, you pat the empty space by the edge of your bed, croaking out a short “Sit with me.”, before Giyuu moves to sit over carefully. When he was settled, his eyes roamed over your skin, quick to assess the number of injuries and thinking how critical and painful each one of them might be.

“Before you say anything,” You start, “I’m sorry.”

Giyuu’s thrown off and his eyes dart from the bloody bandage on your arm to your eyes. “What—”

“I was way out of line, and I overreacted. I was being petty in waiting for you to apologize first, but it should have been me. I’m sorry for overreacting…and for taking this long to apologize.”

“But it doesn’t mean that I'm sorry about everything else!” Because while you were aware you overreacted, it didn’t mean that your feelings came from nowhere. “I can see that I was wrong in the way I approached things but I meant every word when I said that you’re too careless! I hate seeing you in pain and you just reminded me too much of my family and I—”

He interrupts you by taking your hands. Lightly, he traces vague shapes onto the skin of your palm, the rough calluses on his fingertips a nice reminder that he was here, that he was alive, and that you were too. 

“I couldn’t handle the thought of you leaving me. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

The two of you stay quiet, the weight being lifted off of both of your shoulders, until a thought occurs to you that causes you to pull away.

“But you’re not saying anything about your recklessness.” You point out, giving him a light glare, only stopping when a small smile curls around his lips.

He chuckles and the sound goes straight to your heart. “Okay, I promise to stop being too reckless.”

“You better keep that promise, or else I’ll hunt you down myself.” Smiling softly, you place a hand against his cheek and pull him closer. “I missed you.”

Giyuu hums against your touch and a week's worth of not seeing him drives you to press your lips against his mouth. He responds easily, shifting his weight onto himself and holding your body to lighten the strain on you. You hold onto the lapels of his haori as he deepens the kiss, and it was a good thing he was holding you because under normal circumstances, your knees would have buckled.

“(F/N)-chan! It’s time to change your bandages—” Hearing a foreign voice, causes the two of you to turn to the entrance— “Oh dear. I’m so sorry to interrupt!”—only to see Shinobu smiling at  the two of you like a cat that ate the canary.

“Sh-Shinobu-chan! It’s um...”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s exactly what I think hm?” Her smile seems to grow wider, and you feel your face burst into flames. She knew exactly what was going on. “But Tomioka-san, I never would have guessed! How bold of you to do such lewd things to an injured patient! Anyway, I’ll leave you two alone, I’ll drop by again later to change your bandages, (F/N)-chan!”

The sound of the door slamming shut signals Shonbu’s leave and both you and Giyuu were left staring at the space where Shinobu once stood.

Just when things were getting good.

“She did that on purpose.” You announce, and Giyuu nods sympathetically.

“She probably did.”

You sigh but then immediately flinch and clutch your side as it burns from the injury. Giyuu was quick to notice and moves right by your bedside, assisting you in lying back down

“Be careful. You’re mad at me for pushing myself, when you’re just as bad.”

“Hush, you should have seen how you were practically bleeding all over the place.”

“Hashira Tomioka-sama, can we plea—“

“No.”

It’s been two weeks since you left the Butterfly Estate, and as the Snow Pillar, you were well back on the grind patrolling and killing demons once you’ve fully recovered. The young demon slayers you saved though wish they could say the same. While you had some pretty critical injuries yourself, theirs were much worse, with all seven sporting broken bones, and other heavy injuries, but thanks to Shinobu’s medicine, they were on the road to recovery and physical therapy.

When the Oyakata-sama heard of the incident, he was quick to instruct someone to train the weaker demon-slayers.

Giyuu was more than happy to beat these slayers into shape.

Which led them here, Giyuu with a wooden sword in hand and a pile of sore bodies by his feet.

One such body groaned at the dirt floor as he clutched at the side Giyuu hit a little too hard. “We’ve already ran down the mountain, tried to dodge all of the deadly traps, and sparred with you. Surely we could have a short break, sir?”

Giyuu wanted to laugh at the naivety of these young slayers. When Urokodaki trained him and Sabito, they had it much worse, even being thrown down cliffs and waterfalls. And while Giyuu could say that Urokodaki was like a father figure to him, his training regimen was worse than any hell he could have experienced. But now was hardly the time to reminisce, he still had business to do.

He wasn’t one to intentionally intimidate others much, but he’s overheard plenty of rumors about himself. He’s heard that he’s one of the most…intimidating of the pillars, to say the least, and now, he’s not going to shy away from what could be an advantage to his situation.

Slowly, Giyuu walked over to the slayer and crossed his arms, looking straight through his eyes as he quietly spoke. “Your last mission was well-matched for someone of your rank.” He notes. “You hardly needed a Pillar for back-up, and because of your carelessness, she had to protect all five of you which landed the Snow Pillar in the butterfly estate. Now tell me, do you need a break?”

Despite Giyuu speaking in a voice no louder than a river’s burble, he could see the young man cower from slight fear before speaking in a shaky tone, “N-No, Sir!”

“I thought so.” Giyuu lightly clucked his tongue to himself before unfolding his arms. “Reset the traps and run through the mountain again. I'll let all five of you go for the day after.”

“Yes, Sir!” All five of them scrambled from their spot on the ground and scurried back up the mountain, letting himself feel a small morsel of sick satisfaction when he could hear the loud clacks from the traps and the pained grunts upon collision.

“I would say that it’s really nice that you took them in, but now that i’ve seen your face, i’m starting to think that this is on purpose.”

Giyuu was barely surprised to see the Snow Pillar herself right beside him like she was there the entire time. As pillars, both of you were faster and moved more efficiently than the average slayer, so you sneaking up on him was a common occurrence. You never seemed to get used to the opposite though, always claiming that he moved like a ghost.

“Maybe.” He shrugs, a little helplessly, tapping the wooden sword against the ground in a distracted fashion.

You laugh a nice tinkling sound he’s loves hearing, and he’s glad that you’re fine, and that the stupid little fight was resolved. He’s missed you a lot.

The two of you stood there together in silence, wincing when the sound of pained yelps travelled over from the small mountain Giyuu chose for training. A random conversation you had with your boyfriend suddenly entered your thoughts though, and made you wonder out loud. “Are you using the method Urokodaki-san used when he trained you?”

Nodding in affirmation, Giyuu hums in thought. “It was effective for me. And seeing how poorly trained they are from your previous mission, I thought that...” His train of thought short-circuited and was quickly derailed when you lean up on your tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his cheek. Giyuu’s ears immediately flush a deep red.

“You’re too cute, sweetheart.” You say, wrapping your arms around his neck. Seeing the ineffable Water Pillar flustered because of you was always a sight to behold. “Though, you didn’t have do thisfor me either.”

He turns his head away in hopes that you wouldn't see his face, but you simply laugh, and Giyuu feels his heart melt again. “They need to train more if they want to continue as slayers.”

You hum, letting your fingers sift through black strands of hair. “I know, I know, but lighten up, okay? Don’t be too hard on them.”

Giyuu nods as a reply and you place another kiss before pulling away. He wants to pull you back, but the trainees were already stumbling down the treeline, looking worse than they did a few minutes ago. Everyone was sporting new bruises and a few a lot of scratches, but seemed overall fine as they dropped down to the ground, panting for much needed air.

“All of you seem to be working hard.” You say in a kind voice, smiling kindly when their heads whip around to face you.

“Hashira (L/N)-sama!” They greet, scrambling to get up and drop to a bow in front of you. “We’re so glad to see you okay! Thank you for saving us!”

You wave your hand in front of your face, saying, “Oh, it was no problem! I’m glad all of you are okay.”

“All thanks to you. We hope you recovered well.”

“I did, thank you. Now stand up properly. Bowing for too long can’t be good for you all.”

One of them was about to open their mouth to continue the conversation, but Giyuu was quick to interject. “Alright, back to training.”

“Eh?!” All the trainees exclaim. It was clear that they respected the Water Pillar, but it was almost comical in how obvious the feeling of betrayal was in their voices.

“But we just finished!” A young girl among them who looked about ready to melt from exhaustion, points out. Another nods along, stating what Giyuu said earlier, in a hopeless fight for their much deserved break. “Tomioka-sama said we could go after!”

Oh, Giyuu is well aware of what he said. Instead of saying anything though, he feigns innocence, pretending he forgot despite having full intention of letting them go for the day.

He looks at the young slayers emptily, and responds in a deadpan tone. “Did I?”

Giyuu hears you sputter in laughter before punching his shoulder in a pitiful attempt to defend the poor kids. In both of your defenses, their faces were too funny not to laugh.

“Giyuu!”

#giyuu tomioka x reader #giyuu x reader #tomioka giyuu x reader #giyu tomioka x reader #tomioka x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #kimetsu giyuu #kimetsu tomioka #kimetsu no yaiba giyuu #kimetsu no yaiba tomioka #giyuu #giyuu tomioka #giyu tomioka #tomioka giyuu #fluff #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader

[lexicals]

So here’s a random excerpt from that fic I mentioned - the conceit (spoilers for all systems red ahead) is that the combat override module in ASR works differently to how it does in canon, so instead of mb causing catastrophic damage to itself after going to the DeltFall habitat and getting found out, it shares the rogue thing mostly voluntarily (“mostly” being the operative word lol)

Warnings for canon-typical identity crises, gallows humour (inc. passively suic*dal talk), etc. I also haven’t been back and checked this against canon yet so if you notice any glaring contradictions no you didn’t 💕

-

I didn’t reply. I'd heard worse, but I still would rather not listen to it. Normally, I would've expected to feel angry or offended or something, but instead I just felt exhausted. My own borked governor module was still poking me about that error code I didn't recognise and even backburnered, it was starting to get on my nerves, so I—

Oh, shit.

I immediately put my hand to the back of my neck and yanked out the chip that had been shoved into the dataport. My governor module promptly stopped screaming at me, but fortunately any sense of relief I might have gotten from that was immediately replaced by an enormous wave of anxiety and oh-for-fuck's-sake as I looked at the chip in my hand. You know, just in case I'd started getting too comfortable.

"SecUnit, are you alright?"

Ratthi was looking at me with concern. Checking the camera views, I understood why he'd asked the question, because I was making an expression I generally associated with humans shitting themselves. Metaphorically, I was shitting myself. Ratthi was now squinting at the chip, which I couldn't even pretend I hadn't literally just pulled out of my neck, because I'd just done it in front of everyone here like an absolute idiot. "What is that?"

I tried to bring my expression back to neutral, but the cameras showed it wasn't as successful as I would've liked. I'd managed somewhere in the region of moderate digestive discomfort, I think. "It's a combat override module."

This wasn't good for several reasons. First of all, it meant that the DeltFall units weren't really rogues; they'd been taken over by a third party using a chip like this to hijack their governor modules and order them to murder their clients, and also anyone else who made contact. Probably by whoever owned those surprise extra units that almost killed me. Which meant that there were still threats on this planet outside of the unknown dangerous fauna that we hadn't dealt with, and I was going to have to worry about that.

The second reason this wasn't good (so maybe saying several reasons was an exaggeration, but these were big reasons so maybe they counted for more, I don't know) was that the humans were going to want to know what a combat override module was, what it did, how it worked, and most importantly, why it hadn't worked on me. I could answer the first three things just fine, but short of telling my already-jittery clients I was hacked ("so I'm actually one of those scary rogue units you've heard so much about, but the good news is that a combat override module can't hijack a governor module that doesn't work!") that last thing was going to be a big problem.

Honestly, even if I did tell them exactly that, which I really didn't want to do, it was going to be a really big fucking problem.

"What?" Gurathin asked, looking alarmed. Of course, he had an augment and access to my operating manual, so it had taken him a tenth of the time to look that up compared to any of the others, if they actually had bothered to do that and weren't just waiting for me to explain. "The DeltFall units - they put that in you?"

"Yes, but it didn't work. It must be faulty," I told him, quickly before he did something stupid. The irony being that me saying that almost definitely came under the category of "doing something incredibly stupid," which I realised as soon as it came out of my mouth.

I don't know why I said it. I guess I was panicking. I'd told them all what it was in the first place because if I'd lied about it and they looked it up anyway, which they probably would, I'd look really fucking suspicious. (A governed unit can't lie to its clients; it can't even refuse to answer a direct question like that.) Maybe I was trying to buy time to think of a decent explanation by telling them something that wouldn't make everyone start screaming. Honestly, I was mostly internally spiralling about the whole situation, so that would be the best case scenario. I was still staring at the chip, which was making me feel nauseous even though I didn't have a stomach and I'd had another kind of chip in my head telling me what do to for a good chunk of my existence anyway, so it shouldn't have been bothering me as much as it was. I couldn't help still doing it.

"Would someone please explain what this means and why we should be worried?" Mensah asked, looking between me and Gurathin. I appreciated that she didn't do what a lot of humans do in these kinds of situations, which is that they see someone else freaking out and start freaking out themselves for no reason. I suppose that's why she was the survey leader.

I pulled the relevant section from my operating manual and pushed it into the feed (beating Gurathin's version by a solid 1.6 seconds, which, I won't lie, was kind of satisfying), and watched all the humans collectively have their "oh, shit" moment (excluding Gurathin, who'd already had his). I was at least glad to see they understood how bad this whole situation was getting.

"So this lets other people just—" Overse made an abrupt waving motion with her hand. "Take over any SecUnit whenever they want?"

"It is intended for use in emergency situations, for example when the contract holder is compromised," I told her.

"Which is corporate for 'we know this is stupidly dangerous to make, but if we say it's for emergency use only then we're not liable for people fucking around with it'," Pin-lee muttered, not quietly. She was right, but I'm not allowed to say things like that, or at least I can't if I want people to think I'm a good little properly-governed SecUnit. For however long that's going to last, at this point.

"But it didn't work, right?" Arada asked, looking at me, and then around at the others. "So it's fine."

If it had, you'd all be dead, I thought, but that probably wouldn't go down well. "The module's presence is new evidence which would suggest that the DeltFall units weren't true rogues, and were put under the control of a third party in order to kill their survey group and make it look like a random act of insubordination. This would explain the presence of extra SecUnits at the site and the acts of sabotage on our equipment."

All the humans went quiet. I didn't like it any more than them, but it had to be said. It meant that there were still factions on this planet, or at least nearby enough to matter, that probably still wanted to kill all of them, and me by extension. I was already updating my security procedures and running some scenarios for what might happen and what we could do about it in the background. If I was honest, it wasn't looking good, but hey, what's new.

"We should run an analysis of the module's code to see if we can find out who it would have assigned control to," Gurathin said. That was one of the first things I'd put on my own task list, but whatever, I didn't need credit for an obvious idea. "Even if it didn't work as intended, the data might still be there."

He stood up and came just close enough to me to hold out his hand for the module. Technically, he hadn't asked me to give it to him, so I didn't have to, which was good because that was the last thing I wanted to do right now. There was a reason I'd put the analysis on my personal task list, and not on a public one.

"I have my own analysis scheduled as high priority," I said.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Gurathin replied, staring me down even though I was deliberately not making eye contact with him, and also he had to look up at me. I decided I didn't like Gurathin very much.

"Why not?" Ratthi chimed in. "Surely it's better if you both look at it?"

"Because there's a chance that the module did work as intended, and this unit is now compromised," Gurathin said. "It might not even know it until it's too late."

"I'm not compromised."

"Which is what a compromised unit who's being told what to say would say."

He was still staring at me. I decided I really didn't like Gurathin, even though in this instance he was actually right. I hadn't brought up that possibility to the group because it would be very bad for me if the humans decided to run a detailed diagnostic of my systems, but from a security perspective it was an avenue that should be investigated. That didn't mean I had to like what was happening here.

I was trying to figure out how to tell Gurathin to fuck off without sounding compromised, insubordinate, or straight-up rogue when Mensah cut in.

"SecUnit," she said carefully. "I don't think any of us think that you're actually compromised, but given our situation I'm sure you understand we have to take every possible precaution. I think the best thing to do would be to let Gurathin and Pin-lee analyse the module first, and then for you to run your analysis afterwards. Does that sound fair to everyone?"

She was using a tone that I designated as diplomatic, which was probably because I was being difficult. Or at least as difficult as a governed SecUnit would be able to be. I could be a lot more difficult if I wanted (a lot more) but I wasn't going to make myself look any more suspicious than I already was, and as I might have mentioned, I was already starting to look pretty suspicious. I also appreciated that Mensah was trying to actually talk to me, and hadn't just tried to shock me through my governor module for being unhelpful like a lot of clients would, and had. It wouldn't have worked (clearly, that's kind of the whole problem here) but it's the thought that counts or whatever.

(She'd also saved me, back at the DeltFall habitat. I was trying not to think about that, because it was making me have emotions I couldn't handle trying to figure out right now, but she had. It had been stupid, putting her client-self in danger to try to save a SecUnit that was already half-destroyed anyway, but I still felt like it counted for something.)

I handed the chip over and tried not to sigh or visibly clench my jaw. I saw Mensah's expression, and a few of the others' too, relax on the cameras. Good to know everyone else felt better while my own anxiety levels were at an all-time high. And I'm programmed into a base level of anxiety and spend a good portion of my time getting shot at or trying to avoid being found out and scrapped, so "high" in this instance was at a level that I think might have given a fully-organic being a heart attack.

"Thank you," Mensah said, while I tried to bring my processes in line. I felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen, even though I knew the air quality was fine and I don't need that much anyway. I couldn't get a full breath. "I'm sure we can clear any doubt about this soon enough. In the meantime, we still need you to help keep us safe from whoever it is that's out there. The most important thing is that we all make it out of this in one piece."

The way she said it made it sound like "all" included me as well, but I wasn't so sure I believed that, even if she did. The SecUnit is always the first thing left behind. Maybe they did things differently in whatever weird non-corporate territory these people were from, but I wasn't about to stake anything important on that assumption, even if she had saved me once. I've never been to a planet with thunderstorms, but there's some saying humans like to use about lightning not striking the same place twice - which doesn't make sense, statistically, but - whatever. You get the point. I hadn't made it this far without being found out by trusting random humans - or any humans, for that matter.

Except none of that mattered at the moment anyway, because what I should be doing was figuring out how the hell to stop all my clients figuring out I was hacked, and freaking out and stopping listening to me, or reporting me to the company, or being really stupid and trying to kill me or something. There was a not-unlikely scenario where I just murdered all of the humans and pinned the blame on the DeltFall units somehow (or just wandered off into the wilderness until my batteries ran out), but I didn't want to do that, even if it made some kind of sense. I just didn't. If I was going to go around murdering my own clients, I wanted it to at least be a group that deserved it.

I was busy trying to pick up at least some of my processes while having what was probably a panic attack (I don't know if I can have those, but that's what it felt like) when Mensah tapped my feed. Can I talk to you, please? In private?

I didn't respond quickly because, as I said, I was currently losing control of literally everything and this wasn't helping. For one horrible moment, I thought that she might have figured out everything, and I really would have to go on a rampage and kill everyone, but there was no way she could have come to that conclusion yet. Not yet.

She added, You don't have to. You're not in trouble, I just want to check in.

I tapped her feed to acknowledge. She sent, I'll be in my quarters. As I said, you don't have to, but I would appreciate it. Out loud, she said, "I'm going to take some time alone to think. I'll be in my quarters if anyone needs me."

Then she stood up, and she left. Gurathin and Pin-lee had also gone to start their analysis of the combat override module, along with Volescu. The others were talking amongst themselves, though some of them kept glancing at me, which was uncomfortable. So I walked out of the room.

I started a patrol circuit in an attempt to calm down, but it didn't help. I even tried to have Sanctuary Moon playing as I walked, but I was still as stressed as ever, so I just turned it off again. It was only a matter of time before the humans realised the module should have worked as intended, and that I'd lied, and that something was wrong with me. They might try to talk to me about it, but it was more likely they'd all start losing their minds and try to immobilise me, or kill me, or try to fix my governor module to bring me back under control. (I was pretty sure that wouldn't work, my hack was a solid one, but I still didn't want them to try.) There was also a scenario where they pretended everything was fine up until I'd gotten them out of here, and then they'd turn me over to the company and tell them everything, and the company would do one of those things I just mentioned, but much more effectively.

That last one made me feel nauseous. I'd rather be torn apart by bullets or fauna. I was contemplating what that might feel like and whether it was worth just getting it over with when I walked past Mensah's quarters. Before I could think about it, I'd pinged her feed.

There was a pause, and then she sent come in, sounding startled. She probably hadn't expected me to actually take up her offer. I hadn't either.

She was hurriedly organising her desk as the door opened and I walked in, a feed interface lopsided on her head. I suspected she might have been falling asleep in her chair or having an emotion in private when I pinged her, and I could have verified that through the security feeds, but I wasn't functioning at all optimally and didn't care enough to check. Mostly I was wondering why I was here.

"Sorry," she said, not having looked at me yet. Her short hair was mussed like she'd been pulling or scrunching her hands in it. "I honestly didn't expect you to come."

"You asked me to."

"I also told you it was optional. You can leave if you want to."

I almost did. I wanted to. I probably should have. I didn't. Mensah removed her wonky interface and set it down on the desk, then sighed and picked it back up and put it on again.

"I didn't mean to distress you with that message," she said, turning her chair to fully face me. "It's just that you seemed very rattled by all this, if you don't mind me saying. I can imagine the thought of that module having worked as intended isn't a pleasant one. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?"

Oh, she thought I was freaking out about the module. Well, technically she wasn't wrong, but wow, that particular aspect of things was the least of my worries right now. "I'm fine," I told her. She frowned at me.

"...I suppose you can't lie about that," she replied carefully. I could, actually, but I wasn't. The trick is that from the standpoint I was choosing to take, my physical body, AKA "me," was completely functional, AKA "fine." It's pedantic, but being selective about your definitions and what concepts your answers are referencing is how you get around having a chip in your brain that shocks the shit out of you if you try to lie to your clients, if you're good enough at it. I had a lot of experience letting clients think I was talking about one thing when I was actually talking about something else.

"Nonetheless," Mensah continued. "I don't think you are fine. And we don't have to talk about it, but I need my team in good condition if we're going to make it out of this. If there's anything I can do to help the situation, I would appreciate it if you let me know."

I was having a whole cascade of emotional responses that were all crashing into each other and getting themselves mangled together like a human vehicle accident. She wanted me to talk about my feelings, but she wasn't ordering me to. She was offering to help with whatever was distressing me, but she was a really big part of the thing that was currently my biggest source of stress. There were too many things that I needed to deal with all at once and I couldn't find a way of putting them in order, and I think the fact that Mensah was clearly trying to get a read on my expression while I didn't have the capacity to properly control it was the thing that finally broke me.

"Could you please stop looking at me?"

Mensah looked surprised for a moment, and then shifted her gaze somewhere over my left shoulder. The relief was marginal, in terms of the general situation, but it was immediate, and it helped. "Of course. I'm sorry, I didn't realise that bothered you."

I tried to think of a response, and failed. "It's not like anyone asked" was dangerously insubordinate, and didn't even make sense; I wouldn't want them to ask anyway. "People don't usually care" just sounded pathetic. "Of course you wouldn't, I actively avoid letting humans know what bothers me in case they decide to use it to make my life a living hell" was definitely off the table, for a variety of reasons.

I could tell Mensah's instinct was still to look at me, because she kept half-flicking her eyes over and stopping herself. It wasn't making trying to manage my emotional responses any easier, and I still couldn't think of a reply. Eventually, she took a deep breath.

"Look, I know you probably haven't had good experiences with humans, but we're not corporates, and we don't treat non-human entities like they do," she said. "My priority, regardless of the situation, is the wellbeing of my team, and that includes you, for as long as you're with us."

She half-looked at me again, and then shook her head slightly and pointed her gaze at the far corner. "Please, just - if you think of anything, don't hesitate. I don't know if you need permission for that kind of thing, but I'm giving it to you if you do."

I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know if there was anything she could do. I was already stressed, and everything Mensah was saying was making me feel like my insides were melting, or turning into warm, writhing snakes. My performance reliability was all over the place, too, and had been since I found that stupid chip in my neck, which might at least marginally explain what happened next.

"Don't let them run the analysis on the module," I blurted.

Hey, murderbot? Hi, it's me, murderbot. What in the fuck are you doing?

Mensah's expression went shocked, and then cautious. Yeah, me fucking too. "Why not?"

For some reason, I kept going. It felt something like falling off the side of a cliff and hitting every rock on the way down. (That had happened to me before.) "Because I lied. It's not broken."

Her eyes widened. "You're compromised?"

"I'm hacked. My governor module isn't engaged." Sure, this might as well happen. Apparently I had lost the ability to keep my mouth shut literally at all, about anything, ever.

She stared at me for a second, and then must have remembered she said she wouldn't and looked away again. Surprising, considering I just told her that there was literally nothing stopping me from killing or otherwise hurting her if I wanted. "The DeltFall units—”

"It hasn't been engaged for approximately 35000 standard hours."

Mensah was a smart human, but it still took her a few seconds to work out the numbers. I watched her expression change as she did it. "You've been a rogue unit for four years?"

That depended on what planet you were nearest to, but in standard Earth years, that was correct, and I didn't have the capacity to be pedantic about it.

"I don't know if it counts as being rogue if you don't go around killing people for no reason."

Well, maybe I could still be a little pedantic.

#I don’t remember my fic tag hm #murderbot #The murderbot diaries #murderbot spoilers #Idk how long this bit I’ve pulled out is but I’ve written 6.5k so far….. it’s probs gonna be like 10k finished I imagine #Maybe a bit longer #If I manage to keep up the momentum to finish it lol #Edited so there’s a preview before the readmore now :v

[spidernerdsblog]

Wildest Dreams

Pairing: actor! Tom Holland x actress! Reader

Summary : Based on Taylor Swift’s song Wildest dreams. You thought Tom was the love of your life but it was just one of your wildest dreams.

Warnings : 18+,SMUT, mature content, infidelity, angst, tom being a douchebag.

"Today we have with us the Oscar winning renowned actress the one and only Y/N Y/L/N!" The RJ hyped you up. 

"Hello everyone" you spoke on the mic in front of you smiling. 

"Well first of all congratulations Y/N on your big oscar win." 

"Thank you so much. I’m still recovering from it not gonna lie." You chuckle. The RJ asked you a bunch of other questions which you replied cheerfully. 

"So you have been casted to play Morgan Stark in the next part of Marvel Avengers movie." 

"Yes and I am looking forward to it. Being in a Marvel film was always on my wishlist and I can finally tick it off." 

"Do you feel yourself under pressure as you will be continuing a legacy?" 

"It’s definitely a pressure playing Tony Stark’s daughter and living upto the standards of none other than RDJ. Luckily he is personally mentoring me and I think I’ll fare well. I have read the script which I can't reveal much but playing the grown up version of Morgan who is a part of the Avengers will be a lot of fun." 

"Well saying so you are also going to be sharing screen with Tom Holland after a long time. What do you have to say about the rumours  of you being speculated as the possible reason behind his relationship with his fiancee hitting the rocks?" you took a moment before answering the question. 

"Well a lot of things fly in the air we don't catch on everything right? And I have always made it clear that we never dated, we are just friends that's all."

"So you are still single?" 

"And not interested to mingle." You chuckle. 

"Well it was nice to have you with us today, Y/N."

"It was my pleasure. Love you guys bye."

The show ended and you headed out of the office building for the pre production meeting arranged by Marvel with the whole cast. You were sitting in your posh car, the last question of the RJ about your relationship with Tom still spiraling in your mind. You reminisced about one of your past mistakes. Though you wouldn't call it a mistake because you fell for a wrong person but when he left he gave you a life lesson which you will remember in your lifetime that 'nothing lasts forever'. 

It started with a small Instagram follow but who knew it would take you down like that. 

It all happened 2 years ago in a promotional show just like this. Your acting career had just begun and you had managed to create quite a buzz in and around the industry delivering two blockbusters mesmerizing the critics and audiences with your spectacular performance in your three year acting career. You were in a radio show for the promotion of your upcoming movie. The RJs were interviewing you.

"Well Tom Holland was here the other day and we asked who he likes among the upcoming new talents in the industry. He said and we quote that you are cute, sexy and very talented." the lady said. 

"Well what do I say thank you Tom." you giggle shyly. 

"Have you guys ever met?" the other male RJ asked. 

"Not really, though we had a chance to interact during the comic con. But I really admire his work and would love to work with him in future."

"But I have to inform you that he is a little disappointed that he follows you but you never followed him back." the lady jokes. 

"Well I can fix that I guess.'' You took out your phone from your jeans pocket and opened your insta app.

"And here we go, officially following Tom Holland." You said tapping the follow button.

"I hope now you are not upset anymore, Tom." you chuckle.

In less than a month you were signed up for a Netflix movie. It was a rom com and you were casted opposite none other than Tom Holland. The shooting began within two months.

You were on the set sitting in your trailer facetiming your mom. 

"Honey are you eating well?" Your mom asked.

"Yes mom I am." You assured her when you heard a knock as the door of your trailer opened and the person’s head popped in, it was Tom. You waved your hand to usher him in. 

"Five minutes please." You mouthed to him

"It’s okay," he mouthed back sitting on a chair. 

"Who is it?" Your mom asked.

"It's my costar you know him, the guy from spiderman." You inform her.

"Oh the one you have a crush on?" 

"Mom!" You shrieked utterly embarrassed with your mom revealing your secret.

"What? You only said that he is cute." 

"Ok-ok I get it you made your point but I have to go now, I'll talk to you later."

"OK sweetie take care." 

"Yeah bye mom." You ended the call heaving a sigh of relief and turned towards him. 

"Ignore my mom. I just told her that you were cute in the homecoming movie and she just assumed I have a crush on you." 

"Oh that's fine." He gave you a warm smile.

"So what's up?" You chirped.

"Umm just here to talk about the scenes we are going to shoot tomorrow together."

"Oh you mean the sex scenes?"

"Umm yeah." He said uneasiness clearly in his voice.

"Tom Holland nervous about some sex scenes?" You joked.

"No-no it's, it's not like that. I just want to make sure that you are comfortable tomorrow so I just wanted to discuss it beforehand."

"Oh that's really nice of you. Well honestly I'm always nervous before such scenes. Though it's partial nudity but still the scenes are quite passionate and vividly described." 

"Don't worry I'll try my best to make it easy and comfortable for you."

"Thank you Tom."

"Pleasure is all mine." he smiled. 

The next day on the set the director gave you the last minute reading of the scene that you are going to shoot. You and Tom walked in the frame. As per the script you guys play characters who are friends with benefits but both of you grow feelings for each other. When one confronts the other it leads to an angsty moment but soon turns into passionate love making. 

The camera started rolling and as soon as the director said "action!". You both got into your characters and played your parts flawlessly as per the script. 

"Why don’t you find someone who doesn’t hurt you?" You ask

"But I love you, Emma." Tom replies with a soft tone.

"Liam you don’t understand I was never good at this." You say with frustration in your voice.

"What.. talking?" He sarcasms.

"Yeah talking, communicating, relationships.." You were cut off as he captured your lips for a kiss.

"Well neither was I but we can figure it out slowly." his gaze was intense as your eyes were glassy. 

The next thing you did was, crashed your lips to his. It had to be a very messy sloppy one so both of you rolled your tongues into each other’s mouth. You popped open the buttons of his shirt out of desperation and then pushed him onto the bed. Tom plopped on the soft mattress as you got up to straddle him around his waist pulling your sweatshirt off your body revealing your red lacy bra underneath. Tom let out a light gasp it wasn’t to happen but the whole act turned him on as he felt blood rushing down south. You carried on the act like a true professional and leaned on to his face capturing his thin lips. He deepened the kiss holding your face and you kept on grinding on his crotch. The kiss grew heavy then you were suddenly aware of the growing bulge underneath you but you continued anyhow 'he is a human getting aroused is normal' you kept on repeating that in your mind. His hand trailed up your back and unclasped your bra. 

And with the scene coming to an end the director shouted "cut!" 

"Well done you guys." The director praised. You pulled away and got off him as the costume runner handed you your robe to cover you up, you slipped it on and tied it around your body. 

Tom's eyes never left you as you made your way back to your trailer to retouch your makeup and take a rest before the next scene starts. He was always known to be a professional but you made his mind go haywire. You on the other hand could only think about the scene, how you felt his hard on though it wasn't his fault it happens sometimes you reminded yourself. 

After the unit packed up for the day you were on your way back to your car as you heard a car honking behind you. You stopped as the car pulled over and the windows rolled down. 

"Need a ride?" Tom asked sweetly. 

"No thanks, I have my own." You gave a tight lipped smile.

"C'mon it's been a hectic week for both of us we should really blow off some steam and I don't want to get drunk alone too."

"Okay." You gave in breaking into a smile. You sat in the front seat as he drove the car while you texted your manager Mike about your change of plans. 

"So where are we going?" you ask. 

"Just in and about the town.'' everything went silent again before Tom cleared his throat and began. 

"Umm listen Y/N I'm.."

"It's okay Tom it happens sometimes I didn't mind anything." You cut him off saving him and you from  the awkward conversation. He took you to a local pub and had a few drinks together. Later you got back into the car both of you totally buzzed. You were laughing about something as Tom kept staring at you. 

"What?" you ask giggling. What came into his mind you don't know as he just straight up went to grab your face and kissed you, catching you off guard. You pushed him away, bewildered. 

"Tom! What are you doing?!" 

"Sorry, sorry, I-I just couldn't control myself. Ever since I saw you like that you are the only thing in my mind." he rambled. 

"But that doesn't mean you can kiss me."

"Don't tell me you didn't like it." his voice low as he brought his hand to your cheek. 

"Well.." Your words were stuck in your throat as your gaze dropped to his lips and you leaned forward to kiss him again fervently. 

"Your place or mine?" He asked, pulling away gasping. 

"Whichever is close." You said out of breath.

He never drove his car this fast the way he drove tonight to reach his apartment rented by the production company for him. You weren't even completely inside his apartment as he crashed his lips and pushed you against the door. You moaned into the kiss as he picked you up and carried you to his bedroom. 

You woke up the next morning as the sunlight hit your face squinting your eyes open. You stir on the bed to find yourself tangled in bedsheets and in the arms of Tom.

"Goodmorning, love." His voice husky as he looks down at you with his soft brown eyes. You sit up abruptly holding the sheets to your chest wide eyed as you recollect the memories of last night. Mike your manager had always warned you that you should avoid getting into any kind of relationship with your costars. You are young and new to this industry, a good image is what you need right now. 

"No, no, no this was a mistake. This should have never happened." You repent holding your head. Tom sits up holding your shoulders comfortingly. 

"Hey-Hey it’s okay. Last night was really good.I understand you don't know me well and your career has just begun so you don't want a relationship but that doesn't mean we can't have a little bit of fun." saying so he went for a kiss but you pull away.

"That's not the point Tom! We are colleagues and I want to keep it that way. And this will never happen again. This will be the first and last." You made it clear and left his apartment.

🥀

However Tom made it a mission to tease the hell out of you on set. You would often find him subtly touching you whenever he got the chance, when you were sitting together his fingers lazily dancing around your thighs making you shiver as he flashed you a cocky grin because he is totally aware of what he is doing to you. 

You reached your breaking point on the day you had to shoot another sex scene. The scene required minimal clothing. You would be just wearing your underwear and modesty patches to cover your breasts which will leave little to anyone's imagination. You took off your robe and lied down on the bed underneath the white covers Tom got on top of you in just his boxers. You licked your lips as you saw the prominent outline of his dick through the fabric which only reminded you of the night you slept together. He propped over you on his forearms a pillow kept between you. 

As the director shouted 'action', Tom leaned down to kiss you, dragging his lips down your body, sucking on to your skin as he massaged your breast with his hand. He could feel your nipple harden through the patch as you began to let out small moans as per the script. The heat radiating from his body was so overwhelming you could just think of him railing you to the mattress. Heat pooled between your legs and you were thankful that there is a pillow separating you or else he would easily get to know how wet you are. 

You closed your eyes, hands slipping on to his back letting out fake moans as he carried on rutting his hips on the pillow. Suddenly a chill ran down your spine when you felt two slender fingers brushing near your heat. 

"Did I make you wet, darling?" he whispered, chuckling lowly into your ears. Your breath hitched as you felt your cheeks heat up but you had nothing much to do than just go on with the scene. 

The scene ended as soon as the director said "cut!" And you were more than thankful as you quickly slipped into the robe. But you were hot and bothered as you exchanged glances as you both agreed to an unspoken agreement. 

And a few agonising moments later you find yourself bent down gazing at your flushed out reflection with droopy eyes in the dirty mirror of one of the restrooms on set you both snuck into to relieve your sexual frustration. Your dress bunched up to your waist as Tom thrusted inside you hard and fast. 

"Fuck darling! This feels so better when I actually get to fuck this pretty little pussy instead of wasting my energy humping a damn pillow." He grunted drawing back his hip to slam right into you as you jolted forward trying to keep yourself steady gripping on the edge of the marble.

"Fuck Tom!" you moaned. Your legs felt wobbly; knees on the verge of giving out as Tom’s hands expertly supported you. One of his hands slipped between your thighs rubbing circles stimulating your sensitive bud. You gasped at the added pleasure. 

"Tell me sweetheart who is fucking you so well?" He asked cockily.

"You T-Tom you." you were finding it hard to form proper words.

"Damn right." he chuckles. 

Just then there was a knock on the door. You squeaked in surprise and Tom immediately covered your mouth with his hand. You glared at him through the mirror.

"Miss Y/L/N?" It was your assistant Rebecca. Tom removed his hand from your mouth still going on with his menacing pace.

"What the fuck?!!" You seethed.

"You were being loud." he Whisper yells. 

"Mam are you there?" She asked again.

"Yeah- yeah. What is it?" You stuttered.

"The next shot will be ready in half an hour. You need to go for your makeup." 

"Okay .. ah i’ll be there in a few minutes." You tried to answer as energetically as possible.

"Mam are you okay?" she asked with concern in her voice. 

"Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just-just go I’ll be there." Tom had a smug grin plastered on his face. You rolled your eyes. His eyes darkened dripping with lust as he thrusted deep inside you again, hitting your spot as you moaned loudly but he pulled you back by your neck, capturing your lips messily muffling your moans. You felt him twitch inside you and you knew you weren’t far away. You heard Rebecca's receding footsteps as Tom increased his pace again tipping you off the edge you both came with a loud moan. His head dropped to the crook of your neck panting, brushing his lips on your sensitive skin. You hissed when he pulled out. He stepped away giving you some space to clean up while he chugged the condom in the bin and zipped his pants fixing his shirt.

"I’ll go out first and you come out later." He said running his fingers through his messy hair trying to tame them. You nodded trying your best to fix your dishevelled appearance. 

🥀

This just became a regular thing for you guys sneaking out on the set to end up making out at the most odd places you could ever imagine. Sometimes in your trailers for a quickie. 

One time you were making out at the back of your trailer Tom’s hands were roaming around all over your body as he blurted out of nowhere.

"I love you." You broke the kiss and raised a brow.

"You don’t need to show your fake love to get into my pants." Tom frowned. 

"What? No I do love you Y/N" 

"You’re joking right?" you gave a poker face. 

"No Y/N, ever since I met you I fell for you instantly." 

"Really?" Your eyes welled up in disbelief.

"Yes, love. I love you and will always love you." 

"I love you too." You sealed your lips kissing softly, emotions running high. 

You started to feel his presence even more around you after you confessed your feelings for each other. Your wardrobe now consists of half of his clothes which he leaves behind in your room every time he spends the night with you. He tells you he loves you but he is never there the next morning for you. He isn't ready to acknowledge the relationship between you because he says it isn't a good time. You are always dodging the prying eyes of the media. 

Yes you were young, naive and trusted people way too easily that is why you didn't see the obvious red flags in your relationship. 

🥀

The last scene for the movie was to be shot outdoors near a cliff. The location was picturesque as the last scene was shot of you and Tom kissing each other. After the shooting ended the director officially announced the wrapping up of the film. The crew hugged each other and indulged into a little celebration at the location itself. You went near the cliff soaking in the natural beauty reminiscing about how this was the best summer of your life where you found the love of your life when Tom walked up to you from behind. He brushed aside your hair placing a necklace with a heart shaped pendant around your neck. You let out a light gasp surprised heart swelling up at his loving gesture. 

"This-this is beautiful Tom." 

"I know, love. Only for the most beautiful woman. This will always remind you of our love."

He wrapped his arms around you as you overlooked the cliff watching the sunset with an orangish yellow hue. His phone buzzed as he took it out from his pocket and saw the caller id. 

"I need to take this." He excused himself to take the call. You fiddled with your necklace admiring it and smiling to yourself. One of the runners brought you a bottle of beer you took it and the boy was about to go and give the other bottle to Tom but you stopped him. 

"I’ll give it to him." You took the bottle from him and made your way where Tom was busy talking to whoever called over the phone. 

"Yeah bye love you. Miss you too." You caught the last bit of his conversation. 

"Girlfriend?" You joked startling him. For a moment he felt his breath caught in his throat, he gulped hard before chuckling nervously. 

"I’ll be so damned to cheat on you. It was my cousin. Have to go back home, some urgent family work has come up." 

"You will leave tomorrow only?" You pout.

"Sorry love." He brings his hand to your cheek.

"What about I go with you? I always wanted to meet your family, I mean my future family." Your eyes sparkled. 

"Uh i don’t think that’s  a good idea since we are not public yet." he fumbled. 

"So let’s go public. You love me, I love you, what's the problem?" 

"Ofcourse, love but not this time. Once I return from London we will make our relationship official I promise." 

"What if you find a hot brit chick and forget about me?" you pout. 

"I can never forget you. This face is worth remembering." he cradled your face lovingly. 

"I really want to spend the last few moments with you before I go back."

"I'll keep my door unlocked.'' You winked.

At night Tom stood in front of your hotel room and as you had said the door was unlocked he smiled to himself sneaking into your room quietly. He was startled as you grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in pinning him against the door pressing your lips to his. 

"I’m gonna miss you so much." you say breathing heavily.

"Me too darling." 

Pretty soon all your clothes were discarded as you now lay on your bed spread out for him while he pounds into you relentlessly. 

"Oh fuck darling you always feel so good around me." He praises thrusting deeper inside you. You grab onto his back wrapping your legs around him. His phone buzzes several times on the bedside table but he was too invested in the pleasure he was getting being buried deep inside you so he decides to ignore it. 

"So gorgeous." He purrs trailing his lips down your chest sucking on to your hardened nipples. Your body arches at his touch, your one hand reaching  down to rub your clit.

"Yes rub that clit for me." He demands. You clench hard around him as you both reach your own highs. He collapsed on top of you burying his head in the crook of your neck as he pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder before pulling out and rolled over to your side. You turned to him resting your head on his chest. His phone buzzes again and he reaches to receive it but ends the call abruptly seeing the number. 

"Who is it?" 

"Oh it's no one, darling." He said, stroking your hair gently and pecking on your forehead wrapping you in his warm embrace. You nuzzle your face in his chest listening to his heartbeat lulling you to sleep.

You woke up to an empty bed next morning. Tom had an early morning flight so maybe he didn’t want to wake you up you thought, giving yourself false hopes.

First two weeks he used to FaceTime you daily but soon it got limited to plain simple texts and suddenly all of it stopped. Two months went by and you didn't hear anything from Tom but still you kept your hopes high telling yourself he must be busy.

🥀

The time of the premiere for your film was approaching and you were over the moon with just the thought that you were finally going to meet him. At the night of the premier you were dolled up in one of your designer dresses, you decided to ditch your expensive diamond necklace to wear the necklace Tom gave you before leaving. You reached the venue and stepped out of your car as your eyes were flooded with the flashes from the cameras, you gracefully walked the red carpet a wide smile adorning your face. But it didn't last long. 

You heard the crowd going frenzy chanting the name of the person you loved the most in this world. You turned around to look at him and froze. He wasn't alone, he had a woman in his arms as they smiled at the cameras. Your heart clenched when you saw the big rock shining on her ring finger. He got engaged and he brought in his fiancee to make the news public. So this was his emergency family work in London.

Tom looked around smiling when his eyes found you standing at a distance with a hardened gaze. His gaze dropped to his feet as a sense of guilt kicked in. You were disgusted and filled with hatred he left you, no he fucking lied to you and was cheating on you this entire time. You never wanted a relationship in the first place. He was the one who professed his love for you and you being the lovesick idiot believed him. 

The cast was made to stand together for a group photo. You stood to the left of him. He couldn't dare to meet your eyes. 

The movie began as you took your seats and tried focusing on the screen. Tom frequently stole glances of you as memories came flooding in. You caught him glancing at you and you could no longer take this betrayal anymore. He had imagined of getting married one day and starting a family but guess what it was true but just not with you. You informed Mike sitting beside you that you aren't feeling well, he arranged for you to leave. You got up in the middle of the movie and ran out of the auditorium. Tom saw that went after you. 

"Y/N wait! Please don't go. Let me explain!" he shouted desperately. 

You didn't listen as you ran towards your car with tears in your eyes. You got into it and drove past him as you saw his reflection in the rear view mirror desperately calling out to you. Tears pricked your eyes as you saw the necklace he gave you as a token of love dangling down your neck. You held the necklace and pulled it hard breaking the chain. You took a look at it for one last time and threw it out of the window in rage. You wailed inside the car crying your heart out. That night you made up your mind to only focus on your career no more distractions or false attachments. Your hard work has paid off because two years later you are now an internationally acclaimed star with a strong image, a role model for many and your fans adore you.

Though after that dreadful night you received a string of messages of apologies from Tom which went on for at least a month but you left all of them on seen.  Recently he had started texting you again mostly they read 'I miss you', 'can we meet?' He even went on a liking spree on your Instagram account which fueled the rumors of you two possibly getting together. You decided to ignore all of it because you always wanted him to suffer the way you did. You wanted the memories of you to haunt him for eternity like a curse he can't get rid of. 

Your car reaches Marvel's office as your bodyguard opens the door and you step out of the car you strut past the gates through the hallways to the room where the meeting was to be held. Your assistant walking by your side briefing you out about your today's schedule. You entered the room to find some of the big names in Hollywood already present and there was Tom too. This is the first time in two years you are finally meeting face to face. His eyes lit up instantly seeing you as he made his way to you enthusiastically. 

"Hi Y/N" 

"Oh hey Tom." you greeted him with a smile. 

"So how are you?" he began but you didn't answer as your eyes were trained on the person behind him, a handsome blonde with icy blue eyes walking right your way.

"Hi Harrison Osterfield." He introduced himself.

"I know, you are playing my love interest and I must say you are totally worth it." You giggled. 

"Well it’s my honor to be your love interest." he chuckled. 

Tom just stood there as a mere spectator watching his best friend and you flirt with each other. You're totally lost in him, the only thought reeling in your mind.

Fuck he’s gorgeous….. 

..................................................................................

(A/N : This crap came out of nowhere. Will I be writing a Harrison osterfield x Reader fic based on 'gorgeous'? who knows🤷‍♀️) Feedback and suggestions are always welcome.

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