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lebrookestore · 2 years

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love theory | l.ty

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x reader

Themes: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, college au, wingwoman au, fluff, angst, comedy, mutual pining, lots of lying, kissing, references to 13 going on 30, Lee ‘whipped’ Taeyong, PG 15

Warnings: profanity, usage of nicknames, food, kissing, lying, angst, themes of being let down, slight unrequited love, taeyong is a little bit of a jerk but its unintentional i promise you he’s a sweetheart

Wc: 21k

Summary: "hey google, how do you fake going on a date with someone that doesn't even exist because you were too much of a coward to tell your best friend you're in love with her so now you're screwed? sincerely, taeyong."

Playlist: love theory by taeyong and wonstein, theres no way by julia michaels and lauv; starlight by taeil; best friends by conan gray; how you get the girl by taylor swift; just friends by why don’t we, shine by pentagon

Notes from brooke: happy birthday to the loml!! it’s been a hot minute since i posted anything but i had to for taeyong day, so i wrote this entire fic in eight days 🧍‍♀️ go big or go home amirite? (living that enhypen agenda). anyway! i worked really hard on this fic and had a lot of fun writing this, so i hope you enjoy reading it! as always, feedback would be much appreciated<3

Taeyong didn’t have the best luck when it came to romance.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true, he had been in a few relationships before. He had been through the first date giddiness several times and that fluttery, nervous feeling you get when you first start to get to know someone. He had experienced the lows of heartbreak and the sorrow of a breakup, the awkwardness of a crush, and— well, you get the point.

So theoretically, he should have been fine. There was no need to be so jittery about the situation because it wasn’t anything new. Unfortunately for him, knowing this did not help him at all, even though one would think it would. Even Doyoung agreed, he was hopeless.

To be fair though, Doyoung wasn’t much better than he was, if not worse. Taeyong sighed, taking his phone and holding it over his face as he opened his gallery. His current position was him lying down over the expanse of his sofa, aimlessly scrolling through the app.

It wasn’t completely aimless, he supposed. He was the type of guy who took pictures of the most random things on a daily basis, and sometimes he enjoyed looking through them, especially if they were artistic in a sense. His eyes caught on one and he smiled briefly, clicking on it.

This was one he hadn’t taken himself, but rather Doyoung had. In it was him and you standing over the kitchen island in your parent's house, with you staring down at a bowl of what he remembered to be a very uncooperative batch of icing with a poisonous look. You had never had much talent when it came to the kitchen, it was almost laughable at this point.

Taeyong, on the other hand, wasn’t looking at the icing, but rather at you, with the softest expression gracing his features. The ghost of a smile played on his lips as stared at you, beyond amused at your perplexed state at that moment.

He blinked, taking in the picture in its entirety with a small grin. He was so enraptured by it that he missed the clicking sound his door made when it was opened, and the footsteps that quickly made their way towards the living room where he sat (or rather, lay down), growing louder with each step.

“You won’t fucking believe what happened today-”

Taeyong was startled at the sudden sound of your voice cutting through his self-induced reverie, causing him to let go of his phone in a split second of panic.

Now, in the ninth grade back in high school, he had learned about Newton’s law of universal gravitation. It stated that two bodies in space pull on each other with a force proportional to their masses and the distance between them. He could lie and say that he understood whatever the fuck that meant, but in truth, he had simply memorized it for the exam he had to write on it that year.

What he did understand, however, was the fact that gravity was a thing. He received a first-hand demonstration of it right then and there when his phone fell flat on his face, leaving him to let out a string of very colourful language in annoyance.

Picking up the device that caused him a face injury, he pushed himself to sit up straight, glaring at your figure as you walked through the doorway and into the living room. The sight of you thereafter you had let yourself in was by no means a new or surprising one- he had given you a key to his place a long time ago, one that you kept along with your own keys.

No, Taeyong was more embarrassed that he had been caught so off guard, even if you hadn’t been there to see it. Thank god for that, because he knew that you would probably tease him for a good half an hour about it, before forgetting about it until some obscure moment in the future when you would bring it up again just to annoy him

How wonderful.

This time you didn’t seem aware of his sentiments at that moment, too caught up in your own business to do so. You stormed in after carefully taking your shoes out at the entrance and keeping them there neatly, and placed your hands on your hips, giving him an expectant look.

He sighed, pretending to be uninterested for a moment. “What happened?”

“I got paired with Kim Ji-woo for this project in my screenwriting class,” You groaned, making your way over to the couch where he sat and plopping yourself down beside him. “And look- Ji-woo is great, super sweet and a really nice person but is absolutely useless when it comes to project work! The last time someone was in a group with her she somehow managed to not contribute in the slightest!”

You slumped into the cushions in defeat, glancing at Taeyong who hummed in acknowledgment of your words.

“Sounds like a you problem.”

Scoffing, you took one of the cushions and hit his arm with it, causing him to laugh as he raised it in defense of himself.

“I come to you in time of distress and thats all you say? What type of shitty best friend are you?”

You were only joking, of course, because you knew that there was no way you could ever survive without Taeyong. He was your constant, the one person you knew you could fall back on with your eyes closed and trust that he would be there to catch you.

You had known him since the both of you were eighteen in your senior year of high school. Saying you knew him was a bit of a stretch considering your relationship at that only included polite nods and glances in between classes and in the hallways. You were acquaintances at most and forgot about each other's existence until you found yourself in the same classroom at your university, and he was the only person who was familiar to you.

Naturally, you went up to him and struck up a conversation with him and the acquaintance turned into a friend, and the friend turned into a best friend. Now a junior, you had stuck with him for around three years and could not have asked for more.

Alright, maybe that last bit was a small lie. There was something else you could have asked for, but it was a wish you preferred to keep to yourself.

He was gorgeous too, possibly one of the most beautiful people you had ever seen. It wasn’t your fault he was such a lovely person in every way, so really the possible feelings you harboured towards him (again, it was just a possibility and this was all off the record) was just a by-product of that. You would never be able to explain how just thinking about him would brighten your mood, or how you always felt safe with him. You would continue disregarding these thoughts, especially the one about how his idiotic little smile could prompt a smile of your own.

You chalked it down to him having an infectious smile and laugh, which wasn’t untrue. He was the type of guy who could light up a room with just his presence, and you were more than grateful to be able to call him yours.

Erm- your best friend, that is!

“Hey,” he caught your attention once again, a softer look on his face. “If it’s that much of an issue, just give her a few basic tasks and I’ll try and help you with your parts, okay?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in thought at this suggestion of his, and if you were going to be honest it sounded like a pretty good compromise. This wasn’t his first time being your saviour when it came to academics, in fact, he was there with you just last finals season. He had stayed up with you and helped you study even though his courses were not in any way similar to yours.

And you would do the same for him, you knew. It was just how the two of you worked, a good symbiotic relationship- well not a relationship but a friendship and-

While you were busy getting too in your head over your friendship and as you mindlessly nodded to his idea, he studied your features. The slope of your nose and the way your hair fell into your face since half of it was out of your poorly tied ponytail. Somehow throughout your graceful chaos, you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Instinctively, he reached out and tucked some of your hair behind your ear, startling you just enough to look back at him with wide eyes.

His mouth went dry for just a moment, and he realized that he was well and truly fucked. Whether you knew it or not, you had him wrapped around your little finger, and he couldn’t find it in himself to break away.

So yes, Taeyong didn’t have much luck in the love department.

Because he had fallen in love with his best friend.

There was something off about Taeyong today- like he wasn’t as normal as usual.

To be fair though, there wasn’t anything inherently normal about him either, but it was blatantly obvious right now. His knee bounced and he wasn’t paying any attention to the PowerPoint presentation of lecture notes on the screen of his laptop.

Moreover, his outfit was just a tad fancier than what you were used to, which was a shirt and skinny jeans, a jacket if he wanted to dress it up a little. The button-up he was wearing made him look great (not that he didn’t look like someone who walked out of the cover of a Vogue issue anyways, but this only amped that up), and the pretty silver earrings he wore only added to the look. And you could be mistaken, but you knew him extremely well, and you were willing to bet that he was wearing that good cologne he had.

You knew about it since half of his hoodies lived in your closet, but that was a conversation for another time. What was important now was the fact that he was actually using it. He mostly went for the less lavish one- which was also pretty good, again you would know- so this was a little bit of a surprise.

“Okay, fine, I’ll bite,” you cut through the silence that reigned over the library, “What is going on here?”

He looked at you in confusion. Wincing, you realized you had been a little too loud when the library sent a scathing look in your general direction and you lowered your tone to a whisper.

“What do you mean?” He asked softly and you gave him a once over.

“You look….good,” you cleared your throat as quietly as possible. “Why do you look good?”

This was not the reaction he had been hoping for. Taeyong raised an eyebrow, “Thank you? I’m sorry? Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong?”

You shook your head, leaning over so you could speak a little softer, “I mean- you look great all the time but it feels like you put in more effort today- why?”

Why? Oh, that truly was an interesting question. A loaded question, but an interesting one nonetheless, because the answer was embarrassing. He studied your face, the narrowing of your eyes and furrowing of your eyebrows out of curiosity. You looked cute.

“I just felt like it.” He shrugged, but you could tell he was lying the moment the words left his mouth. The tips of his ears turned red, which was his tell. You scoffed at his attempt to lie to your face because he had always been absolutely terrible at doing so. You could see through him and read him like a book.

“Uh-huh.”

Okay, so maybe there was a motive behind this. Doyoung- god, he really had to stop going to him for help when it came to you- suggested he start trying to make his way out of the best friend zone because it was around ten times worse than the friend zone. The best friend zone was much deeper for it symbolized the trust and relationship between the two of you, but it wasn’t exactly the relationship he had been hoping for.

You were squinting at him now as if trying to peer into his mind and figure out what was going on in it. He briefly wondered if he should hold his book over his head so he could stop the brainwaves, or whatever.

“You’re trying to impress someone,” you concluded incredulously, eyes wide when you realized. In your ‘eureka’ moment, you once again forgot that you were in a library. The librarian rapped one of her books on her desk hard against it to catch your attention, leaving you to mouth that you were sorry, before muttering something about her under your breath.

Before Taeyong could even respond, you raised an eyebrow, “A girl? Oh my god, do you like someone?”

‘Yeah, you.’ He thought.

“Nope.” He lied.

But the lie came out much too quick, and you immediately figured out that you had hit the nail right on the head. So you waited for a moment to think of a clever one-liner to tease him with.

Nothing.

Instead, you felt rather hollow about this new development. You knew you should feel excited about it for him, to press him for answers and be delighted, but you didn’t and the worst part was that you had to make sure he wouldn’t pick up on that.

“Who is it?” You demanded, trying your best to sound normal as if you were genuinely curious. You weren’t. You would rather know anything else than who the person who had captured Taeyongs affections was. Lucky bitch.

Oh god, that definitely wasn’t very nice of you. This was why you didn’t want to know because if anyone was going to turn into a bitch because of it, it was you. No, that simply wouldn’t do, instead, you would help him.

Why?

Because you loved Taeyong enough to let him go, or at least that was what you were going to tell yourself. Also because that was what friends did.

And you and Taeyong were really good fucking friends.

He looked a little scandalized, eyes wide when he realized you had managed to deduce what the matter was within seconds. He almost dropped his book in surprise.

“It—it’s not important.”

“Yes, it is,” you leaned forward, “Do I know her?”

Now it was Taeyongs turn to panic because while just telling you the truth sounded extremely appealing, the possibility of getting rejected didn’t. He didn’t really want to lie to you either, but if those were the only two choices he had, he knew what he had to do.

“Nope.”

You deflated, slumping in your seat. Knowing who your competition was would be nice.

“Just tell me already!” You pouted, and Taeyong had to physically make sure he wasn’t looking at you at that moment because he knew that even one glance at your expression would have him melting on the spot.

“No.”

You pressed your lips together. You would help him, you promised yourself, but perhaps now your motivations were a little different. If you offered to help him, you’d learn who the lucky girl was sooner or later. You hoped later wouldn’t be at their wedding.

“At least let me help you,” you sighed in exasperation, “This is what best friends do, you know, they play wingwoman. Give you the love theory you need.” You cleared your throat to rid it of the lump that had lodged there when you figured out that he liked someone.

He scoffed, “Help me? Now how would you do that?”

An amused smile played on his pretty lips, and you momentarily wondered how it would feel to kiss them. Promptly after that, you pinched yourself under the table to bring yourself back to reality. Thinking ridiculously wouldn’t do you any good.

“I listen to Taylor Swift,” you said solemnly as if it answered everything perfectly. “And she literally has a song called ‘How You Get the Girl, so if anyone could help it was her or me, and you’re not important enough to talk to T Swizzle before I do, so you’re just going to have to make do.”

Taeyong was a little concerned over how enthusiastic you seemed about assisting him in this. If you were so happy about him being interested in someone else then didn’t that mean that you weren’t interested in him? Now he hated the fact he had lied because it all seemed pointless. Saying no to you was not something he liked to do often, but it was also something he couldn’t do now or you would grow suspicious.

God damn it.

“Hello? Earth to Taeyong?” You snapped your fingers in front of his face, causing him to blink rapidly, eyes focusing back on you.

His eyes had always been intense to look into, dark and demanding, which is something he had always hated about them. Over the years he had tried his best to soften them since it was one of the reasons others found him intimidating as well.

To you, however, they were rather mesmerizing. You loved the way that everything around you would slowly fade away when he looked at you like that, especially when they were upturned into little crescents when he was happy.

“I’m sorry?”

“Yes or no?.”

“To….what?”

“To being your wingwoman,” You reiterated, feigning annoyance. This earned you yet another glare from the librarian, but you were much too invested in your best friend's business to care about it.

“I—,” He thought about arguing for just a minute, but it seemed that he deemed it worthless to do so with you. He knew how convincing you could be when you wanted to, and so he simply nodded in defeat. “Fine.”

(There were two idiots in this room. Dumb and dumber, and no one would ever know who was which.)

You straightened in your seat, plastering another smile on your face as you did so to convey your supposed joy over him letting you do this. He looked dubious but allowed a small smile of his own as he pushed the book that you were holding open in your hands closer to your face. To this, you almost dropped the book, managing to catch it just in time to avoid a scolding from the librarian, who definitely didn’t like the two of you very much anymore.

“Study,” he instructed, “Worry about my love life later.”

Little did he know that you were very much worrying about your own.

When you were little, your parents had been extremely strict about everything you did to instill a sense of discipline in you. You had to wake up at seven-thirty to get ready for school every day, and on the weekend, it was eight. At birthday parties you always had to ask them if you could have juice when someone offered, and after dinner, you were only ever allowed to eat one cookie if there were any.

One day, however, after finishing your obligatory cookie, you found yourself really wanting another. It was urgent, you absolutely had to sink your teeth into one more to appreciate its chocolatey goodness properly.

So you waited till your parents thought you were asleep to sneak out into the kitchen and take one. You had no regrets for that night only, because you were caught the next night itself when your mother found that there was one cookie less in the stack. When she asked you about it, you stoutly denied this accusation, which she definitely didn’t appreciate, and sat you down with your father so that the both of them could give you a talking to about honesty.

This had left a mark on you, and so you tended to be as honest as possible from that point onwards. Your first lie led to the end of that road you had just begun to traverse, making you the perfect child.

Which was exactly why you weren’t ashamed to admit that your first thought was to somehow sabotage Taeyong’s possible relationship with this girl he said he liked when you proposed to be of help.

You really had to learn how to lie again properly.

You thanked the barista that handed you the two coffees you had ordered, managing to make your way through the busy line that infested the Starbucks that morning. Only God knew why you still opted to go there before classes sometimes, and you intended to keep it that way because even Taeyong didn’t understand it.

At first, it was because you liked the aesthetic, then you started realizing that people yelling over each other, uncomfortable lines, and your name being misspelled for the nth time did not count as an aesthetic. Alas, you were in too deep now and your pride wouldn’t let you quit.

“Here,” You handed one of the drinks to Taeyong and he nodded in silent thanks, holding the top and taking a small sip. It was one of those days when both of you had early morning classes and caffeine was the only thing that was capable of giving you the will to live through them.

“You know this tastes like normal coffee right?”

“Don’t,” You warned, but you knew what would follow. This might have been his favorite argument to revisit with you.

“I could literally make this at my apartment and it would taste the same,” He pointed out, taking yet another sip as you started to walk, falling into step with you. You liked walking around with him because it felt so natural and simple.

“You keep saying that but you’ve never actually followed through with that claim,” Your shoes clicked on the pavement, joining the rest of the cacophony that made up the walk to eight a.m. classes. “So you either are shit at making coffee and lying to me or you’re lazy.”

“Well, now I definitely don’t want to.” You caught the indignant pout on his lips from the corner of your eyes.

“Aha, so he’s lazy,” You concluded, glancing to your side to properly look at him as you stopped to wait for the traffic to pass by on the street. “So? Have you ever spoken with her?”

Confusion took over his features and he frowned. “Her?”

“The girl you refuse to tell me anything about.”

Shit. He had forgotten about that entire ordeal, eyes widening at the mention. You watched him with expectant eyes and he cleared his throat, nodding non-committal.

“A few times, yeah,” He hummed, nodding forward to tell you that it was okay to cross now. You did that, mulling over this information and commemorating it with a big gulp of coffee, almost burning your tongue. You would definitely more caffeine to survive this conversation.

“And? You have to give me something to work with, dude.”

Taeyong had no idea where he was going with this. He supposed he deserved to be stuck in such a situation because he had gotten himself into it without thinking about how it would sustain such a lie. Sighing to himself, he started speaking.

“She’s….nice.” What an eloquent description he had gone for. Trying to describe a girl that didn’t exist was extraordinarily hard, and he wondered where his childhood imagination had disappeared to. Your blank expression told him that he was doing a terrible job at whatever he was trying to achieve.

Well, there was only one thing he could think to do.

“She ‘s fun to be around,” He started, “Speaking to her is incredibly easy and I enjoy our conversations. She’s really pretty too.” The corners of his lips curled up into a slight smile as he spoke about this supposed ‘girl’.

Stop.

You wanted him to stop the moment he started elaborating because it was becoming clearer and clearer that he truly cared for this person. You had caught the way his eyes softened just a little when he started speaking, and the fond tone his voice had taken. You knew it all too well because you had sat through him speaking like this when he had been with his previous girlfriends. It was as if he reserved a special place in his heart for the people he loved romantically and spoke about them in a specific way.

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about him speaking like that about you, but then again, you didn’t lie.

The university campus came into view and you knew that the both of you would have to part ways for your separate classes soon.

“Do you think she likes you back?”

He didn’t know how to answer that one, so he stopped for a moment and frowned in thought. You stopped as well, waiting for him. At times like these, you wished you could read his mind to figure out what went on in there. Normally you could read him like a book, and you knew everything about him, but when he would think really hard like this, it was like he put a mental block up that prevented you from doing what you normally did.

And then he started walking again as if you had never asked the question.

You stared in bewilderment as he walked in front, gaping and grumbling under your breath at being so blatantly ignored. Quickening your steps, you managed to catch up with him, panting a little now.

“Hey an answer would be lovely, you know!”

Taeyong stopped in front of the gate and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

He fucking what?

“You—you don’t know?” You spluttered, a little annoyed now. “You don’t know if she likes you even a little bit?”

He shrugged once more, a victimised look on his face as he kept his shoulders up. “She’s hard to read!”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Say’s you.”

He snapped his head towards you, noting the stiff way you said that. It was a little resentful as well like you were annoyed at him, and maybe it was warranted, especially with the answers he was giving you. He was trying to be as vague as possible while being honest, so he had told the truth. He truly couldn’t read you one bit, he definitely didn’t know if you liked him back, and right now the answer was leaning towards a big, fat NO.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You shook your head, patting his arm. “I have class, see you later.”

You began walking away, and then turned around when you realized how childish you had just been. He looked like a confused puppy now, unable to keep up with your constant switch in the mood.

“Did I….do something?” He asked gently as he cocked his head to the side, and you felt totally undeserving. You shut your eyes and shook your head. You couldn’t keep taking your frustration over him liking someone else on him. It just wasn’t fair.

“No, you didn’t,” You sighed, “I’m having a weird day, thats all.”

He raised his hand to look at his watch and then back at you. “It’s eight in the morning, what day?”

Panic seized you and your eyes widened in horror at that news. “It’s already eight? Fuck, fuck, fuck-”

“Y/n?”

“I’m late for my class!” You whined, walking backward quickly and turning around, breaking into a run. “I’ll see you later! Next time we’ll work on asking her out!”

He scoffed, watching as you hurried into one of the buildings and vanished from his line of sight, biting back the smile that was threatening to spill over. It was a very special smile, one he only kept for you.

And with another sip of his coffee, he too turned around and walked away to his class. He would have to make some coffee for you sometime soon so you would stop wasting your money on Starbucks.

“Idiot,” he muttered affectionately, “Going to miss your class and you’re still talking about that.”

lesson #1: talking to the girl

“So she knows who you are right?”

You adjusted the volume of the music playing from the radio of his car, letting go of your chopsticks and letting them fall to the inside corner of the takeout box. Your classes for the day were finally over and just like you had promised, you were going to help him

He nodded, taking a mouthful of his own noodles. On nights like these when none of you felt like cooking, takeout was your saviour. Tonight’s dinner consisted of Chinese food from the nearby restaurant. The food itself was by no means authentic, but it was tasty nonetheless a quick fix.

“Have you flirted with her?” You let him think over your latest question while he finished his bite.

“I probably have?” He ended it like a question rather than a statement. “We talk quite a bit actually, but anything I say always seems to go over her head like she’s completely oblivious.”

Damn. You couldn’t even hide the sympathetic look on your face at that. The girl really didn’t know what she was missing out on if she was able to ignore him so easily. You almost wished you had that talent so you wouldn’t have to be simply the best friend.

“Sucks,” You muttered, “Maybe step it up a bit? Try and gauge if she’s actually interested in you the way you are for her so you can actually answer me the next time I ask.” You rolled your eyes at the memory of him saying he didn’t know. What person didn’t try to figure out if their crush liked them back?

“I’ll try my best,” He promised absentmindedly, shaking some of his hair out of his face. Then, he offered you some of his food, and you exchanged boxes naturally, like you had done this a million times before- because you had. There were certain things in your friendship that had become so routine that you did them without thinking.

“You’re hopeless,” You muttered, “It’s like you don’t actually even care about this girl when I give you advice on what to do, but then you wear your nice cologne for her.”

He raised his eyebrow in surprise. “How did you know it was the nice one?”

“I know you,” You clicked your tongue to look at him, causing a mischievous glint to spark in his eyes. You were almost afraid of the next words that were going to come out of his pretty lips.

“Nice to know you pay so much attention to me, sweetheart,” He teased, reaching out to give your box back. Heart curled up your neck and to your cheeks, painting them in a warm flush as you puffed them out and looked away from him.

“You’re so annoying.”

“Am I wrong though?”

You were still hung up on the nickname. It wasn’t the first time he had ever called you that, after all, your friendship was affectionate and extremely close, but that didn’t stop you from being affected by it. You were more used to words like ‘dumbass’ or ‘idiot’ spoken fondly to your face with a grin, just like you did for him. The ‘sweethearts’ and ‘loves’ were more teasing than anything, never serious.

“I pay attention to you because I’m your best friend,” You argued, placing the empty take-out box to the side. “If I don’t, who will?”

The laugh that escaped him at that was enchanting, and he scrunched his nose up for a moment, as if in thought. “I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Hah, could’ve fooled me.”

You reached over and pinched his forearm, eliciting a yelp due to the force at which you executed it. “You’re impossible. I don’t know why I still hang out with you.”

“It’s because I’m impossibly lovable,” He corrected you with a shit-eating grin, finishing up his own food. Then he dropped his voice just a little. “And because you have no friends.”

The sound of your hand slapping against his arm was enough to inform anybody how you reacted to that smart-ass statement of his. He loved pushing your buttons because you looked pretty even when your brows were knitted and your lips were set in an angry pout. He especially loved it when that expression was directed toward him.

“Just talk to her more,” You sighed, “I pity her to be honest, imagine having to deal with you. I’ll start praying for her right now.”

“Wow, real nice Y/n. You always know exactly how to hype me up.”

“I’m excellent at boosting a person's confidence. Wanna see?” You were looking at him in anticipation now like you were really proud of what you were going to say next and wanted him to match your energy. He pretended to be exasperated with you, exhaling slowly.

“Fine.”

You beamed at him, turning in the passenger seat to face him properly. “Jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without a brain.”

For once, he truly didn’t know where you were going with this and waited patiently. The way you were trying your best to keep a straight face was enough to tell him that it wasn’t going to be anything good.

“So I’m really optimistic about you.”

He grimaced. “Do me a favour and never become a motivational speaker. Ever.”

If you thought his laugh was enchanting, he thought yours was nothing short of angelic. The way your eyes would crease into little crescent moons and how you would cover your mouth with your hands as you giggled. It was a habit of yours, one that he had picked up on pretty quickly into the first few weeks of your friendship itself.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry,” You weren’t sorry at all, not in the slightest. “But I’m serious, you have to talk to her more before you ask her out. The whole ‘instant ask out’ thing doesn’t really get you far. I’ve realized that being friends to an extent works best.”

“From what experience?” He snickered and you glared, holding back from giving the boy another pinch (or rather a shove this time around, which he wholly deserved for that backhand comment).

“Hey, I have dated around you know!” You protested, “And I’ve had a boyfriend before, so I know what I’m talking about.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“I’m serious!”

He twisted the keys in the ignition to start the car, amused at how eagerly you defended yourself. He had to give it to you though, you definitely sounded more credible than Doyoung did when he gave advice. After all, it was that said boy's advice that got him into this whole mess in the first place, with you being his wingwoman.

The world surely did love irony.

Doyoung was sick.

Not sick in the sense that he had to stay in bed and spend his day with a box of kleenex. That would have been much more bearable than having to be subjected to this madness.

He was looking on from afar as you and Taeyong spoke. He had been on his way to his next class, only to happen to catch a glimpse of his two best friends. Even though he was equally close to Taeyong and you, he more often than not felt like a third wheel in your relationship.

So yes, he was sick of seeing the two of you tip-toe around each other.

He had never seen two people more perfect for each other, and definitely not two who were so damn oblivious about it. Someone could dangle it right in front of your eyes and you would purposefully turn the other way and walk in the other direction.

The first time Taeyong had come to Doyoung all panicked was around a year ago when he had miraculously realized that he was in love with his best friend. Doyoung remembered this well because he had never been caught so off guard before at such a confession. Or so he thought.

Because around a week later, you came to him, whining about your feelings for Taeyong.

Fucking dumbasses.

You were so in tune with each other that you just happened to go to the same person for advice- the person who had yet to be in any relationships himself. Hey, the life of a STEM major was hard and Doyoung didn’t particularly want to waste any of the ridiculously high tuition he had paid. You had once teased him about being married to his studies, and at this point, he couldn’t even deny it.

Now you were pushing some of Taeyong’s hair out of his face, a deadpan look on yours. Doyoung could see the slight alarm on the other boy's face at this action, the way he stared intently at you as you did it. Then you flicked his forehead and laughed, causing him to puff out his pink cheeks.

Lord, give him strength. The sooner the two of you got together, the better.

lesson #2: how to ask a girl out

Taeyong thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, from the slope of your nose to the crease of your eyes when you laughed, even if you did cover up your mouth when you laughed most of the time. He liked your smile too, the way the corners of your lips would turn upwards in glee was enough to get him to smile as well.

Even now, when you were staring at him like he had murdered your childhood dog, he thought you looked pretty.

“You’re telling me that you’ve never considered asking this girl out?!” You asked incredulously, hands resting on your hips. “At this point, I’m starting to think the person you like is Doyoung.”

He scowled at you, “It is not Doyoung, and of course, I’ve thought of asking her out, it’s just-” He paused, realizing he didn’t exactly know what to say. You raised an eyebrow, prompting him to continue.

So here was the problem.

Taeyong was starting to get a little tired of talking about this make-believe girl with you. It was slowly eating away at him, the fact that he was basically lying to your face at this point. Sure, there was some truth mixed in somewhere, but that very truth was getting buried deeper and deeper as time went on.

“It’s just?” You asked, giving him another helpful nudge to finish that statement, but he didn’t, sighing instead as he leaned back in the chair he was sitting on. Your persistence was going to be the death of him one day.

“We were working on your project a second ago, why are you bringing this up now?”

“Because!” You stressed the word, “It’s been around two weeks since you told me you started talking to her again, so I mean, isn’t it the appropriate time to ask her out?”

You sat up straight, closing your laptop and books, “Also I’m tired of this, so do you wanna watch a movie and order in? We can continue talking about this later.” You picked your phone up and sighed. “Ji-woo never answers.”

He frowned, “She’s still not responding to your messages? Damn. You really do need my help.”

“I do,” You whined, sighing in resignment as you once again slumped in your seat. Today was one of those days when you were all over the place, jumping from one topic to another. This happened sometimes, and he was used to it after being your friend for so long.

“Fine, let's take a break, I’ll choose the movie and you go order some pizza for us.” He didn’t exactly need the break, but he could tell from the way your eyes were drooping slightly and how quickly you had slouched again. He knew you so well that he could tell when you were done for the day. Chances were that you would probably fall asleep midway through whatever movie he chose anyways, so he picked one that you had watched previously, good enough to entertain the both of you till sleep took over you.

After placing the order, you moved to the couch where he was sitting now, browsing through the movies. You propped your legs up, grabbing a cushion and curling into his side like it was the most natural thing to do. He settled on 13 going on 30, one of your shared favorite movies from the 2000s.

As the movie began, he couldn’t help but notice how perfectly you fit into him, how your head rested gently on his shoulder as your eyes remained trained on the television screen. The blue light from it fell onto your face, casting shadows over your features.

“So? Are you going to ask her out?”

He pursed his lips, suppressing yet another groan at your words. He knew you meant well, wanting to help and all, but the truth was complicated. The truth was messy and the truth…..

“Nah.”

“Huh? Why? You said you have thought about it before.” Ever since this entire thing started, he had been getting harder and harder to figure out.

He had spoken nothing but the truth because he really wasn’t going to ask you out, and this was a decision he had thought well and hard about. There were many factors that went into it- you were his best friend after all. If you didn’t feel the same way not only would he be crushed, but it would be awkward. That awkwardness would probably lead to drifting apart from you and that was something he never wanted to happen.

He loved being there for you, listening to your whine about your latest grievance, or nagging you about your terrible addiction to caffeine. You had the habit of keeping things to yourself, so he loved when you indulged that information to him just as much as he loved you.

He couldn’t lose you. That would be far worse than you not loving him the way he loved you. Losing you would mean not being able to love you at all, not even quietly.

“I don’t think I’m good enough for her,” he said quietly, “I mean, just because we’re talking doesn’t mean she likes me that way, for all I know she could totally hate the person I am.” He forced a cheery voice to communicate the fact that he was joking, but not entirely. The smile that he wore was tired and weary like he genuinely didn’t think he was enough.

You didn’t like it.

You knew it was in his nature to be hard on himself, he had been doing the same since freshman year. If things went wrong he would blame himself. If anyone was there to criticize, he saw it as himself.

“Stop it,” You chided, moving away from him and glaring, much to his surprise. Your brow was knit in frustration as you reached out and took his face in your hands, cradling it gently enough so that he was looking at you.

“You listen to me,” You said firmly, voice dead serious. “You, Lee Taeyong, are absolutely fucking amazing, and I don’t want to hear you ever put yourself down again.”

You were angry, he could hear it in your voice. From sleepy to annoyed, the change in your demeanor had him blinking in silence for he was much too surprised to do anything else.

“You’re perfect,” You said so earnestly that it was a little amusing. “And whoever she is would be a goddamn fool if she doesn’t realize that because any girl would be the luckiest fucking girl in the world to have you.”

Unbeknownst to him, there was some jealously mixed into it as well. One of your flaws was that you often let your envy seep into things you did and as much as you wanted to help Taeyong as the great friend you were, it killed you to see that he was so much into someone else but thought he wasn’t good enough for them. That was utter bullshit, and you were going to make sure he knew that.

You would have done anything to be that her.

“Y/n…” He whispered your name softly, trailing off into silence instead of continuing the sentence. The dialogue from the movie was the only thing that could be heard for the next minute or so, and you let go of his face, clearing your throat.

“Got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” He mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize? You did nothing wrong,” You huffed, retreating to your previous position. You weren’t quite sure what had possessed you to do that, but you had a feeling it was something he needed to hear. “Ask her out, and if she says no, her loss.”

You were stupid. So painfully stupid.

“Thank you,” he simpered, nudging you slightly. You only hummed in reply, muttering something about your insistence on being good at hyping people up. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Die. You would die.” You offered helpfully, and he snorted but didn’t deny it, instead once again glancing over at you to catch a glimpse of your face. Yeah, he really did think you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen, even in the crappy dim lighting of your living room right now.

“I would walk through fire for you,” He mumbled, “Thats how much I appreciate you.”

The giggle he earned for that was fucking dizzying, and he was tempted to repeat the statement just to hear it again. “Yeah?” “Yeah,” He confirmed, before thinking about that for a minute. “Okay, maybe not fire because I’m too young and hot to die. A really hot and humid room perhaps.”

You gave him an unimpressed look.

“Not too humid because of my hair.”

The pillow you were cuddling before quickly turned into a weapon to hit him with for his dumb quips, making him hold his arms up to shield himself. He was smiling though, silently laughing as he yelped at every hit you landed.

“Your hair is already dead from the amount that you dye it,” You deadpanned, reaching up and running your fingers threw the front stranger, pushing it out of his face like you so often did. His breath hitched in his throat as you then fixed it again. His eyes fell to your lips just for a moment as you were focused on his hair.

He wanted to kiss you so bad, just like the many other times he had thought about it and backed out. The factors he had mentioned before were what he used to justify his chickening out every time.

“Yep, it’s fried,” You said, snapping him out of it. Pushing your hand away, he signaled towards the movie that was still playing, redirecting your attention away from his warm face.

“A moderately heated room it is.”

Now that you had given him the push to ask out the girl he wanted, you were somewhat anxious to know how that had ended. Had he finally gone for it? Had it worked out? More importantly, were you going to have to self-sabotage once again?

Top ten questions science couldn’t answer.

This time you found yourself at a different coffee shop rather than the overpriced one you usually visited due to the fact that your friend, Karina, worked there as a barista. Unfortunately, visiting your friend wasn’t the only reason you decided to go there today.

Ji-woo sat across from you, a nervous smile on her face. She was cute, with straight long hair till her elbows, fringe across the forehead, and eyes that were always bright and expressive. It was because of these expressive eyes of hers that she ended up always being a fairly open book to read.

And right now, that book was full of excuses.

“I’m so sorry Y/n! I swear I didn’t mean to miss your messages.” Her words tumble from her lips absolutely covered in honey- scratch that- sugar syrup. They were so sweet and patronizing that they were going to give you diabetes.

“All of them? It’s been a whole two weeks Ji-woo, and I’ve messaged you regularly throughout all of it to ensure you were doing your bit of the project.” It was clear that you didn’t believe a single word that exited her lip-gloss-painted mouth, and she was stressed over it.

People like her were why you were addicted to coffee. Hey, at least you weren’t as bad as Jaemin, the guy practically drowned all his sorrows in the bitter drink.

“I know—”

“You do?” You asked, pretending to be surprised. “Then why didn’t you answer those texts?”

Needless to say, you were not amused with being ignored, especially not when you had been working your ass off to get a good grade on this project. It was an important one, and you’d be damned if you didn’t do well just because of your partner who prioritized partying more than doing her work. There was nothing wrong with partying of course, but there was everything wrong with leaving your partner alone to do all the work while you rode off it scot-free.

You were mad. You had every right to be and Ji-woo knew it from the way she played nervously with the straw in her iced caramel macchiato.

“I—I promise to do whatever you give me to make up for it!” She bargained, a hopeful smile on her face. “I really am sorry Y/n.”

You definitely did not miss the way she completely evaded your question but decided to let it go. Exhaling, you collected every scrap of willpower you possessed before you started speaking so you wouldn’t snap at her.

“Fine,” you sighed, deciding to graciously give her another chance, much to her relief. “Handle half of the slides and make some notes. I’ve already most of everything anyway so this is all you have to do.”

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“I expect you to have it done a week before our presentation, okay? Start working on it today itself.”

She pauses, pressing her lips together. “I’m busy today but I could start tom- never mind, I’ll do it right away.” She shut up after catching the near-fatal glare you were giving her, collecting her things and drink, getting up and bidding you farewell.

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sighed in exasperation. Karina noticed your distress and walked over and a fresh cup of coffee, placing it down next to your now lukewarm one.

“You look like you’ve been through shit,” She said dryly, tucking the empty tray under her arm vertically. You scoffed, eyeing the new cup, all too tempted.

“I didn’t order another.”

“I know, it’s on the house,” She winked, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. “You looked like you were suffering and my mother always taught me to have pity on the less fortunate.”

“I don’t know if I should thank you or give you a shove.”

She pat your shoulder in faux sympathy. “Both. Both are good. Also, your boyfriend is waiting for you.”

“My who?” You gave her a puzzled look because you were very much- in the words of Na Jaemin himself- painfully single. Karina had a mischievous look on her face as she pointed to the side of the store where Taeyong stood, holding his own cup of coffee. When he realized you had seen him, a lopsided grin plants itself on his mouth and he waved.

“Rina, that is not my boyfriend. I don’t have a boyfriend and even if I did, it definitely wouldn’t be Taeyong.” You mumbled softly, waving back. Then you beckon at him to come to join you at your table.

“Yeah right, but you wouldn’t complain if he was.”

You were a hundred percent ready to argue back, but Taeyong was close, and saying anything further would give you away, which you definitely didn’t want to happen. Instead, you settled for glaring at her as she slipped away while Taeyong took a seat opposite you.

“Hey! Oh geez, who stole your candy?” It was then you realized you were still wearing a disgruntled look on your face and shook your head.

“Sorry, I just met with my lovely partner.”

“Seriously? What were her excuses?”

This was why he was your best friend, he somehow knew things without you having to tell him anything at all. All you had to do was fill him in on the details. The two of you were just so in sync that you worked perfectly in every way.

You were definitely grateful for the new cup of coffee Karina had gotten you since your old one was almost over and now cold. As the drink kissed your throat soothingly, you remembered the question you had been dying to know the answers to.

“Did you ask her on a date?”

Taeyong was mid-sip when you asked the question, glancing up at you as he did so. He nodded.

Oh.

“.....Well?”

“Well, what?”

“She said yes, didn’t she?” You asked, forcing a gleeful tone. Taeyong stared at you in bafflement, probably at how you had deciphered that so quickly as you down the rest of your coffee, resting your elbows on the table and chin in your palms. “I’ll help you get ready for the date.”

In actuality, Taeyong was panicking. His initial plan was to just say that this hypothetical girl said no to him, but you had already jumped to conclusions and looked so excited about it that he didn’t want to rain down on your parade.

The indifference on his face made you sit up straight, a triumphant grin on your face. You see, Taeyong had the habit of pretending something hadn’t gone his way to fool you before he gave you the correct information, and this was no doubt one of those times.

“Oh it’ll be fun- just tell me what type of date you’re taking her on and I’ll style you.” You clapped your hands together, and your best friend had no idea how to tell you that you were extremely wrong.

Whatever god was out there was probably laughing at him, clutching their stomach and all.

So! New plan. He was going to just go with the flow, fake going on a date, and then somewhere down the road say he broke it off with this girl. It would be fine.

Taeyongs fatal flaw would always be his inability to say no to you. It was the reason you ended up being his wingwoman, he knew this- no matter how much he tried putting the blame on Doyoung (who would call him an idiot and a simp for being so easily swayed by you every damn time. Taeyong would have to agree).

“Dinner maybe?” He asked, suddenly forgetting everything he ever knew about dates. This was so stupid, he had been on a plethora of dates before, and he had had girlfriends. He knew what to do and how to do it but when it came to you, all of that knowledge he had built up over the years seemed to disappear inexplicably.

You nodded appreciatively at this suggestion, pushing the empty mug to the side. “Nice, somewhere fancy maybe? I heard that the new restaurant is pretty good.”

The devil on your shoulder was pulling at your hair for being such a professional idiot and genuinely helping him. The angel was proud, perplexed at the way you were going on about it- yes- but proud nevertheless.

“I guess I’ll be taking her there then,” He said, sucking in a breath and giving you a tight-lipped smile. “Thanks for all the help Y/n, I mean it. Even if I’m a little scared to see how you’re going to…style me.”

You threw him a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t really have the best fashion taste.”

You scoffed, offended that he would ever dare utter something so outlandish right to your face. “Excuse you, just because I don’t have the perfect clothing pieces does not mean I have bad style. I got the skill, just not the materials because they’re expensive and I live off ramen as it is.”

“You have no proof and therefore, due to my deeply inlaid trust issues, I cannot take your word for it.” He said this as solemnly as he possibly could, nodding his head slowly and swiftly pinching his lips to avoid laughing.

Lee Taeyong was the worst tier of insufferable.“Screw you.”

“Time and place.”

“Someday, you’ll go far—” You started wisely, “and I hope you stay there.”

“Rude? I should have never bought you that coffee.” He said in disbelief, bringing his hand to his heart as he got to his feet so that he could leave. You frowned in confusion even though his voice held a playful lilt because something there didn’t add up.

“You got it for me? Karina said it was on the house I- KARINA!?”

lesson #3: the date

Taeyong was what you would call fashionably challenged.

The reason you said this was because while his style was good, it had two sides. On one hand, he dressed well, like the twenty-one-year-old he was. It didn’t really matter, you supposed, because Taeyong looked good in almost everything he wore.

Ah but you see, he had range. He could go from that to grandma-core in a blink of an eye. And while it was certainly a look, it wasn’t date-worthy at all.

God knows you weren’t going to let him show up in that quirky knitted sweater he had gotten at a random festival. You would rather eat your fist.

“Let’s see,” You hummed, running your fingers over his clothes. You were standing in front of his closet, mentally trying to sort out what items of clothing would work well with each other. You had been there many times before, but those instances usually ended with you nabbing a hoodie or t-shirt you had taken a liking to and was going to claim as your own.

Looking through your own closet didn’t look much different at this point.

He had been through two outfits at this point and was confused beyond compare at this point. Never had he ever taken so much effort for a date, let alone for one that was completely fake, so he had no experience with this whole ‘pre-date drama’, as you had oh so eloquently put it.

The first outfit had been cute, but a little too casual for a dinner date at a potentially fancy restaurant. The tee paired with jeans was a classic combo, but it more suited going to his Monday morning lectures.

The second outfit was too formal, the dress shirt and dress pants screamed prom and while you had full faith in Taeyongs abilities to win Prom King, that wasn’t the vibe you were going for either.

“Here,” You thrust another set of clothes to him. “Go change into these and let’s see how they look.”

He nodded, taking the clothing from you and going to change. While he did that, you plopped yourself on his bed, taking your phone out and scrolling through Instagram to amuse yourself in the time he took. He had started out pretty talkative, but you supposed after all the fussing you had done over him till this point had dulled him down a little.

You looked up when he walked back out, adjusting the sleeves and folding them up a little- just to his elbow to uncover his forearms. The shirt itself leaned more on the formal lines, dark blue in colour, collar kissing his collar bones perfectly, and the top few buttons left unbuttoned on purpose. The end of the shirt was tucked into his jeans that were ripped at the knees.

Your eyes remained trained on his figure, widening ever so slightly as you did a full-body scan of the entire outfit. Was this you blatantly checking your best friend out under the guise of judging the appropriateness of what he was wearing? Absolutely.

Were you even slightly ashamed? Not really. Hey, a girl has got to be proactive, especially when she was in love with the guy who was going on a date with another girl right at that moment.

Your lips parted in surprise as you sat up. With the way you had styled his hair before (and of course, the fact that Taeyong was attractive anyway), you couldn’t even think of any way else to describe him.

Other than, of course, saying that your best friend was hot as hell.

“So?” He asked, looking at you expectantly., awaiting your conclusion. You swallowed thickly, trying to think of the words to say.

“You look….wow,” You settled for finally, cringing at yourself when you heard it leave your tongue.

Bemused, he shook some of the hair that had fallen into his face out of it, cocking his head to the side in the process. “Wow? What an articulate observation from the English Lit. major.”

He was teasing you now, and you rolled your eyes, getting to your feet and walking over when you realized a part of his collar was a bit messed up on one side. His breath hitched in his throat when you were close enough, reaching your hand up and folding it over in the manner it was supposed to be.

“It was a good wow,” You defended, flickering your eyes up to his. He was already looking at you, and the attention had you feeling a little dizzy. “And I’m better than you, Mr. I exchanged the word assonance for alliteration.”

“I’m not the English major here though.”

You yanked a little on his collar to get him to shut up, and he did so promptly, but not without letting a dumb smile settle on his lips. Arguing with you would forever be one of his favorite past times and he would never give up the chance to do so.

“Alright,” You mumbled, taking a step back and admiring your handiwork. “You’re all set to go.”

“Where?” He breathed out, still looking at you in that maddening way. He was so distracted by you that he had completely forgotten what he was doing at that moment

“Your date, you idiot,” You pushed his shoulder, snapping him out of his daze.

The date. Yes.

He coughed slightly, nodding as he got his things, ready to leave. “Right. Thanks for…you know.”

“Any time,” You said, flashing him an assuring look. “Now go get your girl.”

He left a few minutes, later and you watched him do so, the smile on your face fading little by little with every second that passed. When you heard the door of his apartment click shut, you finally dropped the cheery look on your face, all sobered up.

You wondered how Taeyong would be on a date. He was confident, it was one of his most attractive features and you knew that he had this quality about him that had everyone charmed. He would be the sweetest on a date, no doubt, making sure his date was comfortable above everything else.

You almost wished that date was for you.

Irony was quickly becoming one of Taeyong’s least favorite things.

On approaching his car, he opened the door and placed himself in the driver's seat, letting out a sigh. He didn’t start the car, nor did he even switch the radio on. All he did was take his phone out and open Tiktok.

Ah yes, what an excellent date.

The consequences of lying about having a date meant that he had to go through the entire pre-date drama he had mentioned before, without actually going anywhere. It was why he now had two whole hours to kill without a single thing to do. His fancy ‘date’ consisted of scrolling through random people enthusiastically dancing to Lizzo’s About Damn Time and some dude whose money didn’t jiggle. Instead, it folded.

It was just as depressing as it sounded.

Good for the guy honestly, sounded like he was financially stable.

Taeyong wondered how his life had come to this. He ran a hand through his hair, successfully messing up the way you had carefully helped style it in the process. There were very few moments in his life when he had felt truly like an idiot, and this instance, in particular, took the first spot, dethroning whatever held that position before it.

The car was warm. He switched the air conditioning on and resumed watching the thirty-second video clips that were the reason his attention span had degraded so much.

He figured he deserved this, considering all he had done the past few weeks was lie to your face. Granted, the lies came from a place of protection- protecting himself from potentially getting rejected and protecting you from being disappointed about not being able to be his wingwoman.

But they had evolved from him simply omitting the truth by not being honest about how he felt to getting dressed in a really nice outfit with nowhere to go but two whole hours to kill in his car. It had him thinking over his life decisions, and anything that had him going all existential was immediately a bad thing.

This was definitely a downgrade. From actually going on dates and having girlfriends to faking dating someone because he was hopefully taken with you. He remembered the first time he realized was when you made the joke about getting married if the two of you were still single by the age of thirty-two and not being opposed to the idea. In fact, he rather liked the sound of it.

It was all downhill from there, and even though he considered it as such, he still smiled at the thought.

Two mind-numbingly boring hours later and another Tiktok sound that would be inevitably stuck in his head for the next two weeks minimum, he decided it was now acceptable to go back to his apartment.

When he was younger, his parents had always been proud of how responsible he had been, how he barely ever wasted time.

Oh if they could see him now. One hundred and twenty minutes of his life he was never going to get back.

He slid his keys into the lock, twisting them and pushing the door open. His apartment was quiet, and he wondered if you had gone back to your own as he slipped his shoes off. He unbuttoned another button on his shirt and walked into his bedroom, freezing when he saw the sight that lay before him.

You were asleep in what he could only describe as the most uncomfortable position known to humankind. You were still sort of sitting, curled over his pillows that were propped against the headboard, one hand held out as you held your phone weakly. It was just about to slip out of your fingers and hit the ground, but he managed to walk over in time to lunge over and catch it.

Taeyong scoffed, but the ghost of a smile played on his lips as he placed your phone on the little bedside table. He knew all too well that you would complain to no end when you woke up after sleeping like that, and so he carefully picked you up and adjusted your position, before tucking you under the sheets.

His heart was fighting its way out of his chest the more he looked at you. You were so peaceful as you slept, if you were awake he would have made a joke about it. Now, however, you were knocked out, and for once he didn’t have to lie. He didn’t have to pretend.

Leaning forward, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, mumbling a goodnight as he switched the lights off.

He’d whisper his confessions into the dark, where they would stay.

You were going to tear your hair out.

It had been more than a week since you met up with her to talk, and Ji-woo hadn’t done even a thing from the lot she had promised. You were tired from all your classes and the extra guest- lecture you had attended. Not to mention the fact that midterms were coming up and you had to spend time finishing other assignments for other classes along with your general studies.

You were exhausted beyond compare and couldn’t even bear the thought of having to do her work as well. It was already two a.m and you were so damn close to breaking down- ugly tears and all- as you stared at your laptop screen and at the unfinished slides. So you did the one thing you could think of and called the person you knew would have your back, whether that was to help or assist in your breakdown.

“Y/n?” Taeyong’s groggy voice sounded through your phone speaker and you let out a sound that could only be compared to a wail in response to properly convey how you were feeling. You could imagine him sitting up in his bed and rubbing his eyes.

“The fuck? It’s ass o’clock in the morning, why are you calling me?”

“I’m screwed,” You whined, kicking your feet childishly under the table you sat at for effect though you knew he couldn’t see it. “Ji-woo, and pardon my french but that bitch hasn’t done anything and I’m so close to dropping out I-”

“Why are you awake right now?” His question cut through your complaining, causing you to shut up and frown.

“Did you not hear me? I’m going to fail because of this girl, Tae, that’s why I’m awake.”

“Go to sleep,” He groaned, “You’ll definitely fail if you don’t sleep enough.”

“Wow, thanks.”

You could hear some shuffling in the background, and you assumed he had put his phone down for a moment. Then, you heard him speak again.

“Be there in five.”

You blinked, not really knowing to respond to that, but it was all okay since he ended the call right then. You had called him to vent, that was it.

Needless to say, Taeyong was at your door a few minutes later in his sweats and a jacket to combat the chilly night air, giving you the most murderous look he could muster up. Those eyes of his really did it justice.

“You disturbed my beauty sleep.”

You don’t need it anyway, you thought. “I didn’t expect you to come over?!? Don’t blame this on me.”

“Oh please,” He glared, but it wasn’t serious in the slightest as he sauntered inside. “You called me in the middle of the night, and I’ve been your best friend long enough to know what that means. Are you telling me you didn’t want me to be here in the slightest?”

You could only give him a sheepish smile because it was 100% true. Then, your smile melted into a look of disgruntlement as you led him to the table in your living room, collapsing on one of the chairs while you gestured wildly to the blank slides.

“Nothing, nada, I’m going to fail.”

He sighed, joining you in your task of staring down the unfinished work. Not that was much to stare at, but he definitely pitied you for somehow landing the worst project partner of the year.

He could also tell how tired you were from just one look at you and how there was no way you would be able to get anything done like this. Slipping his jacket off, he hung it on the back of one of the chairs around the table and clapped his hands together. “Alright, we can do this, but first I need to know where you keep your kettle because you keep stress cleaning and reorganizing the kitchen.”

You looked at him, puzzled. “Huh? Why would you need that?”

“Because,” he walked into the kitchen, leaving you with no choice but to trail after him. “I’m making your coffee, there is no way in hell I’m helping you without some and you look like crap right now.”

You almost missed the dig at you, too surprised at the fact he was actually making your coffee. It had been a running joke that he never would because he was terrible at doing so, which was why you kept running to Starbucks.

“First of all, ouch.” You glared at him, taking your kettle down from one of the cupboards. “And secondly, are you really?”

“Yep,” he confirmed, finding the coffee beans by himself and taking the appliance from you, placing it on the fire. “After a cup, you’ll have all the motivation in the world.”

“I sure hope so,” you chirped, leaning against the counter. “God, I can’t believe she didn’t do it this time. She said she would.”

“You trust too easily,” He muttered, mostly to himself. The gravity of the situation had started to eat away at him more than before and he was guilty. You trusted every word that came out of his mouth and he just kept lying. He told you he had been going on more dates with the girl to make it more believable, you were overjoyed and told him to ask her to be his girlfriend.

It was all going wrong. All he had wanted to do was impress you that day.

“Maybe so,” you agreed quietly, pushing yourself off the counter. He poured the coffee into two cups that you got down wordlessly, the both of you working together perfectly even without any words being said.

Taeyong handed you a cup, and you wrapped your fingers around it to absorb the warmth, taking a cautionary sip so as to not burn your tongue. The bitter drink washed over your tongue and you savoured the flavour. It revitalized you, giving you back some of the energy you had lost.

“Holy shit,” You said in quiet awe, “This coffee fucking slaps.”

He chuckled in amusement, happy to have proven himself right. Even more so, he was happy to see you happy over something as minute as him making you some coffee. “I know,” He said smugly, “Come on, let’s get back to working on your project.”

You stopped, realizing how much you depended on Taeyong. Without him, you would have probably been throwing a tantrum right now, throwing stuff around your apartment and all. Within a short period of time, he had managed to put you together again.

“Yeah sounds good.” You murmured, warming your hands on the mug. He sighed, pointing the spoon he used to mix the coffee in your direction with a strict look on his face

“And you have got to stop staying up this late, you’re going to fall sick, and then I’ll have to stay over and take care of you.” He pretended to look as displeased as possible with that hypothetical situation. “Honestly, I’m at a loss for words with how bad your sleep schedule is.”

Despite being at a loss for words, he continued to lecture you.

You put the cup down and moved towards him, wrapping your arms around him and tucking your face in the crook of his neck. The hug caught him off guard, but he returned it almost immediately, his own arms around your frame and lips pressing a soft kiss into your hair as if he could sense you needed the comfort.

“Thank you,” you whispered, shutting your eyes and pretending for a moment. Every day you had to remind yourself that there was someone else he was interested in because of things like these. He assured you with the usual ‘don’t mention it’ and whatnot, but you weren’t paying attention.

Just a moment.

final lesson: how to ask her to be your girlfriend

“I can’t believe you still haven’t told me who she is,” you said incredulously. “This might be the longest you’ve ever kept a secret from me, so maybe if you would just-”

“I’m not telling you.” He seemed adamant about keeping it a secret and part of you were starting to wonder if you were ever going to meet this girl. You exhaled in exasperation, throwing your hands up in defeat.

“It would be a lot easier to help you with asking her to be your girlfriend if I knew who she was, you know?”

But you knew better than to try and convince your best friend of something he had already made his mind up about. You were never going to get that girl’s name from his lips, so this entire thing was for naught. Besides, there was no point in competing with someone you didn’t know when it already looked like you had lost.

You really didn’t understand how you were supposed to help him make this ‘thing’ he had with her official when you knew next to nothing about her. If you had even a little information, you could put something meaningful together,

“Just seduce her into being your girlfriend.” You offered helpfully, not really having anything else to add. He gave you a deadpan look.

“Y/n, I am about as seductive as a cabbage.”

You snickered at that, somewhat agreeing with him. You were at his place, sitting opposite him on the couch with your legs criss-cross-applesauce. He mirrored your position, one hand propped up on the back of the couch. It was around this point in time when you were really starting to despise the wingwoman position you had landed yourself in because you couldn’t find a way out no matter how hard you tried.

Unfortunately, you had no one to blame but yourself for this predicament.

“I guess you’re screwed then.”

“Helpful,” He muttered dryly, shutting his eyes and leaning back properly. You would never understand his reluctance towards the topic.

“Hell no, you have a girlfriend to get.” You sat up and hummed, “Just be honest about what you feel for her and tell her. People always want to know what they mean to others, and if you tell her how much you appreciate her she’ll realize that you’re perfect for her.”

“But saying shit like that without messing it up is hard, and messing up in the middle would be embarrassing.” Taeyong pointed out, jutting his lower lip out in thought. He ran a hand through his hair- a habit of his- messing up the strands that somehow always looked good no matter what he did. They always fell back in place perfectly.

“Then you need to practice,” You said firmly, “Ever tried the mirror technique?”

“Mirror….technique?”

You started explaining what you meant by that. “You know when you practice what you’re going to say in front of a mirror, as you would when rehearsing for a part in a play?” He hummed at this.

“I haven’t tried that, actually.” He admitted, “I don’t think I’d be able to be serious about it.”

A solution to this sprung to your mind, but it was a selfish one. It was selfish because it was more due to the fact that you wanted to hear what he had to say for yourself than to actually help him in knowing what to say to make things official with this girl. Hey, what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, right?

“Just try it on me.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened slightly, lips parting in shock at your proposition. You quickly scrambled to elaborate on what you meant by that so there were no misunderstandings.

“I mean— just pretend I’m her! Pretend I’m her and say what you want to me and I can judge it for you.” You coughed, trying to rid yourself of the strain that had suddenly caught onto your voice. “Maybe it would be more helpful than talking to a mirror.”

He stared at you for a second, digesting this information before nodding slowly. He adjusted his position and pressed his lips together in thought, recollecting everything he wanted to say. It was an opportunity to test out what he had ever wanted to say to you without actually going out and admitting it.

The best-case scenario was the only thing he had to consider over here. There were no consequences, no backlashes, just an experience that he was much too cowardly to claim for real.

“We’ve been going out for a few weeks now.” He started slow, deciding to just go where his words took him. “And—”

Update; his words then failed him.

You see, it was the way you were looking at him, so focused and determined to listen to every word. It reminded him of the fact that he didn’t actually have anything to say because he had pretty much told himself that he would never be in this position. His mouth went dry and he had to swallow thickly.

It was getting easier to lie to you, little by little the white lies piled up on top of each other and disillusioned his sight. However, for some reason, right now no lies sprung forth. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He chose the truth. Sort of.

“You make me really happy,” he said, voice dropping in volume a little bit. That fond tone you had always envied for others slipped into it and the sides of his lips curled upwards slightly into the smallest boyish smile. “I love spending time with you because you make me feel like those moments could last forever. I love seeing you happy, but more so when you’re sad because then I can be the one to cheer you up.”

Your heart had a mind of its own, dancing violently in your chest at the way he spoke. It was a cruel joke that the world played on you, for you to be selfish enough to want to hear this, but so selfish that it hurt.

You couldn’t even look away, bound to your duty of listening to every word that left his honeyed lips. Words that weren’t meant for you and never would be, because you were the best friend. You had always been and forever would be just the best friend.

“I love your frowns and your smiles,” he continued, “And I want to be there for each and every one of those, so that’s why I’m asking.”

He sucked in a deep breath. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Yes.

No. You had very conveniently forgotten how to breathe at that very moment, air getting caught up in your lungs and throat. His eyes dropped down to your lips, making you want to lean over and perhaps press them against his own. Then you wanted to run far away and hide because the prospect of ever being able to kiss Taeyong on the mouth had you feeling so fucking dizzy-

“Y/n.”

Did he—

Did he fucking end his little speech with your name?

It served as a reminder, bringing you back to reality without even a semblance of mercy. One would think that him using your name there would only further your thoughts, but no. They dragged you back and rooted you to the ground from the clouds you had been previously walking upon.

Because you simply were not meant for that.

You blinked rapidly, sucking in a breath of air to calm yourself down. It was then that Taeyong realized his slip up of saying your name, alarmed at what he had done, and racked his brain on how to fix it.

“I used your name because I can’t tell you who she is,” He said all too quickly, cheeks flushed pink. Heat crept up your neck and to your own face, leaving it hot and flustered.

“Yeah, I gathered as much,” You said, clearing your throat because it seemed like your voice had gotten stuck. “That—that was good. Really good. She’ll definitely say yes.”

(You knew you would.)

When you start to mix the truth with lies, it gets harder to distinguish the two from each other.

Taeyong told you that the ‘girl’ had agreed to be his girlfriend in the end, every deceitful letter becoming easier to pronounce as time went on. That didn’t mean that he liked it any better, of course not. He hated that he had to continually lie to you, he hated the bitter taste it left on his tongue.

The guilt seeped in like poison, tainting everything. He started to use his ‘girlfriend’ as an excuse to avoid meeting up, saying something about having a date, or spending the day with her. Distancing himself from you to avoid feeling bad about it, and then proceeding to feel like a terrible friend for doing so.

Third ring of hell, party of one.

The cycle was one that was going to be hard to break, and the problem was that he had no idea where to start making a crack.

From seeing each other almost daily to maybe once a week if you were lucky, you missed your best friend. It was only natural to miss the person you loved, but it wasn’t just that anymore. You missed the Taeyong that was your rock, the person who agreed to grocery shop with you at three a.m, the best friend that you knew would respond to all your texts within seconds.

But you understood. You forced yourself to understand and come to terms with the fact that while you were his best friend, he had a girlfriend now- a girlfriend he was very clearly head over heels for. You would just have to learn how to deal with only seeing him occasionally. You would have to relearn how to be just a friend.

That was the funny thing about love, one would find themselves doing absolutely anything for the person they had feelings for. It didn’t matter if it hurt them, as long as the other was happy, it would be okay.

You finished 13 going on 30 by yourself on a lonely night, without the company of your best friend. You watched as Jenna finally realize that Matty was the one that was for her, and how she run after him. You watched her get heartbroken and rejected and go back to being thirteen. You watch as she marries Matty when she really was thirty. Two best friends, in love.

This time around, you didn’t fall asleep until the very end.

It was two days before the presentation of your project. You wished you could have said that you were doing great and that you had your shit together, that everything was going smoothly, but that would be a big fat lie. You already talked about your reluctance with lying.

The truth was that you did not, in fact, have your shit together. You needed more fiber in your diet.

Two days before the project and Ji-woo hadn’t sent in her notes. She hadn’t followed up on her aural part of the presentation or anything to do with the project and you were done.

You really didn’t like Kim Ji-woo.

Unlike the other day, it wasn’t late at night. It was only eight in the evening, but you really didn’t feel like pulling another all-nighter because your partner decided to be irresponsible. Truly you had never met someone so hard to work with and you hoped you never would again. Working alone would have been better than having to put up with this nonsense since that was what you were essentially doing anyways.

Perhaps it was your fault for ever trusting that Ji-woo would do her work. You should have known better than to be so naive- like Taeyong had said. Your problem was that you were too trusting.

Taeyong

Right. You took your phone out and fumbled with it, clicking on his contact and holding the phone up to your ear. If there was anyone that would help calm your nerves, it would be him.

Wait. No. You pull the phone away and stare at the call screen for a moment, the picture you had taken of the two of you to put as the background. You were mid-hug, your own face was almost completely hidden while he displayed one of those brilliant smiles of his. It was a sweet picture, one you cherished.

Then you looked at the contact name, the way you had typed in ‘yongie<3’ with a little dragon emoji next to it. The original one never had the emoji, but since he knew the passcode to your phone (and had one day managed to convince you into adding his fingerprint in as well), he had broken in once and added it.

You click off the call, pressing your thumb onto the little red phone icon to end it before he could even pick up. There was no point trying to reach him, he would probably be busy with his girlfriend. Or something else. That thought has your gut in a twist because never before had you thought like this.

Since when had he ever been too busy for you? He had had girlfriends before and you had always been the best friend even then, watching from the sidelines. Even then, he never made you doubt what you meant to him. Even in a relationship, you were his favorite girl.

The fingers of your other hand curled into a fist, and you clenched it, swallowing hard. You missed him so fucking bad and you wanted nothing more than to call him. To hear him tease you about something and then show up anyways.

Where was your best friend when you needed him? For some reason, the fact that you were drifting felt like it was all your fault, and you had no clue on how to fix your mess. You wanted to be able to call him without second-guessing yourself and crossing your fingers, without biting your lips and hoping that a certain other girl hadn’t already taken up his time.

When you needed it most, your best friend was nowhere to be found.

It wasn’t just the project. It was the fact that you were head over heels for the boy and it would never be known to him. It was the fact that there was no one else you wanted as badly as Taeyong. You wanted to be the girl he spoke about fondly, the one who he took on dates and the one he called his.

But you weren’t. Instead, you had been a complete idiot and assisted in the process of him falling in love with someone else. You thought it would help you figure out what he liked and who it was, but no, all it did was hurt.

You didn’t realize tears had welled up in your eyes until one trickled down your face to your chin. You sniffed softly, bringing your hand up and wiping your face, screwing your eyes shut to prevent any more tears from spilling out because fuck, you hated crying over something you had no control over.

More quiet tears made their way out and to your surprise, you weren’t breaking down over your project. You were crying because of your broken heart and the pieces that lay around you helpless. Pieces you didn’t know how to put back together yourself.

It had never hit you as hard as it did right then, leaving you to cry into the palms of your hands. You were crying for the loss of a lover, over having him slip out of your fingers and never even trying to hold on. You were crying for the loss of your best friend, who seemed to not value you as important enough anymore.

Your phone lay unattended on the table. You missed the quiet buzzing of a return call, the notification of a check-up message. It didn’t matter anyway, because when you did go to check, you found out that the message had been deleted.

You were starting to feel a lot like that message.

From the moment he saw your name light up his phone screen, Taeyong had been worried.

He hesitated to answer it for just a second too long, but it was that second that fucked everything up. The call ended right before he could even pick up his phone and there weren’t any follow-up calls. This was extremely unlike you because when you wanted to reach him, you would keep calling until you got tired of it or he picked up.

He waited for the second call. Nothing.

It was then he called you back, wanting to check up on you. It had been a week to ten days since he last saw you, something he hated with every fiber of his being.

When you didn’t pick up, his stomach sank. He opened your texts, looking at how far back the last one had been, before pulling the keypad open and starting to type out a message to you.

[8:24 p.m.] yongie 🐉: hey, something up?

Fuck, that sounded weird for some reason. He backspaced, biting the inside of his cheek as he contemplated what to say.

[8:24 p.m.] yongie 🐉: u good?

He pressed send and then almost immediately regretted it. He dropped his phone and groaned aloud to no one in particular, looking up at the ceiling of his apartment. He missed hearing your set of keys jingle when you were outside the door, he missed your spontaneous visits. Without you, his home didn’t really feel much like one.

He deleted the message hurriedly and decided to call it a night. He would deal with all of this tomorrow when he had a fresh mind after a good night of sleep. Before bed, he checked to see if you had seen the deleted text.

You had.

The walk to campus the next day was lonely. He even waited at Starbucks for you, but you were nowhere to be seen and he was going to be late, which left him no choice but to go ahead without you. It felt wrong to walk without you chattering along by his side.

He missed it.

So when he saw you walking through the hallways, reading some notes you had out, he knew he had to talk to you. He walked over and cleared his throat, gently tapping your shoulder to attract your attention. You stiffened, turning around to look at him.

Your expression relaxed just a bit but stayed guarded to an extent. He gave you an impassive smile, pressing his lips together to form a thin line to cover up the surge of guilt that rushed through him after going so long without seeing you. “Hey.”

“Hi.” You said softly and immediately he could tell something was wrong. Your demeanor was completely different from what he was used to, closed off and voice clipped. You held your notes close to your chest, waiting for him to continue with what he was going to say.

“Can we talk?”

Talk, talk, talk. You wanted to talk to him so bad, but you knew that after you had finished it would be another week before you saw him again. Plus, you only had a day before the project left and so much to finish, you couldn’t be here wasting your time on a feeling that would only last a few minutes.

“I’m busy, got a project to finish.”

“It’ll take five minutes,” he promised, “I’m guessing Ji-woo didn’t do her work?” “She didn’t,” you confirmed, “Would have been helpful if I knew I could count on you.”

You didn’t mean to say that to his face and you definitely didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly. He looked taken aback, blinking slowly at your sudden outburst.

“I—I saw your call,” he mumbled, “It’s why I want to talk to you.”

You felt a little bad for springing that upon him so abruptly and so you agreed- out of pity, of course. You weren’t doing this because you were hopeless in love with him, you weren’t doing this because of some sort of futile hope. Definitely not. You were doing this because you felt bad and possessed empathy.

Wow. After all this time, you had finally started lying.

You nodded, and he gave you another one of those pretty smiles of his, this time a little brighter. Cocking his head to the side, he gestured towards an empty lecture hall that you could speak in. You followed him inside, noting that it was the same one you had to visit every Wednesday when you were a freshman.

It was quiet now. He turned to you and let out a sigh.

“You didn’t call again,” he said finally, “That’s not like you and I got a little worried so—”

You wanted to groan. While you had been overthinking and crying like a little bitch, he actually noticed. He got worried and thought about you and you hated the way that little piece of information had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

Because you’re angry, and being angry and in love at the same time was not the most optimal combination. It had your stomach fluttery and your mind pissed at you for being so affected by every little thing. It wasn’t your fault, you were just a girl in love.

“Stop. I’m fine, you can see that, can’t you?” You cut him off and once again it was like you had no control over your tongue. Hurt was thrown into the already mess that your feelings were right then, and it was ugly. You shut your eyes, regretting your words immediately.

“Sorry. I’m having a bad day.”

He knew what that meant, you had said the same thing all those days ago when you had gotten all snappy at him. Whenever something was wrong, you tended to hide it under the fact that you were supposedly having a bad day. This time, however, he wasn’t going to let you go without figuring out exactly what was troubling you.

“You’re not fooling me with that,” he said firmly, “Something is bothering you. Tell me.”

This was why you didn’t want to have this conversation. Taeyong could always see right through you and dealing with this was not on your agenda for the day.

“Taeyong—”

“You can trust me, you know? I’m your best friend.” There was a hint of offense in his voice. He was sad that you seemed to not want to share what was causing your shitty mood, even though all he wanted to do was help. After all, that was what best friends did, was it not?

You narrowed your eyes at him, your anger overriding your affection. Scoffing, you asked, “Best friends? Is that what we are?”

He looked bewildered but answered assuredly, “Always.”

“Right, because best friends avoid and ignore each other,” You scowled, taking a step away from him. “You haven’t been a best friend in weeks, Taeyong, so don’t pretend that you suddenly are now.”

It was the way that guilt took over his features so damn quickly; you knew that you hadn’t said a truer thing ever before. For weeks you had been trying to convince yourself it wasn’t so, that you were just reading too much into things, but you hadn’t. He had been avoiding you, you had hit the nail right on the head.

“Y/n I— I didn’t mean to, I swear,” he said earnestly, those eyes of his going round and insistent.

You raised your hand to shut him up, which did the trick pretty effectively. Immediately, he clamped his mouth close and you looked at him sharply.

You asked, “I get that you have a girlfriend and all, but does that mean you forget about me?” “Please if you would just—” He was panicking slightly now because of the fact that he was realizing exactly how far he had taken things. The lies had created a mountain, one that blocked his view of you and how you were doing.

Pride comes before fall. The act as up, for he had been standing so tall on his metaphorical mountain, he forgot the person who helped bring him up there.

But he didn’t, he didn’t forget, which only made this worse. He did this to protect you- no, that was a lie. He did this to protect himself. Coward, chicken, scaredy-cat.

“And I understand that you’ll never love me as you love her,” you exhaled, your throat feeling as if it had been pricked by several needles all at once, a strained pain that seemed to refuse to leave. Your eyes were wet, and you refused to cry but fuck, you might just start.

“So fuck me for falling in love with you,” you said. “But the least you could have done is be there for me like the best friend you claim to be. Somewhere along the path of you falling for her, you forgot about me.”

Confessions were supposed to be sweet and gentle, something that caught you from the fall that was love. Yours was nothing of the sort, instead a horrid sharp punch to the gut as he stared in horror at what he had done.

You loved him?

“Y/n,” he whispered your name as if it was something fragile. If he said it too loud, you would have crumbled right then and there. Then again, you were doing that anyway, right in front of his eyes.

“I just want you back.”

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t even think to tell you how much he fucking loved you back, because all he felt was this overwhelming guilt. It was taking over him and he despised himself for being the reason you were like this. You were right, he had been the worst friend in the world to you.

‘I’m sorry’. The words taunted you and you almost laughed. ‘I’m sorry I was a shitty person. I’m sorry you fell in love with me.’

You sniffed, turning around on your heel and walking to the door, leaving the classroom without another word. You had nothing to say and wanted to leave before those tears made their way down your face and reminded you once again of what you would never have and never be.

You felt pathetic.

No one told you that there were repercussions for falling in love with your best friend. There really shouldn’t have been, but love was harsh. Love wasn’t like it was in the movies because you weren’t in one. Heartache was cruel and you were nowhere near prepared for the impact that it left on you, the hollow feeling you didn’t know how to fill.

From wingwoman to wreck, teaching Taeyong to fall in love and win the heart of another girl had never been a good idea, and you were insane to think so.

You were sorry too.

Taeyong didn’t have much love when it came to the romance department.

He said this for several reasons. The first was his terrible habit of tending to chicken out of situations often instead of owning up. The second was the fact that he had managed to fall in love with his best friend and break her heart all in the same breath.

The third was because somehow, he always went to the same person for advice.

Doyoung stared at his best friend, wondering how he always ended up being the therapist. Taeyong had showed up a few minutes ago, looking absolutely distraught and panicked, and although he had been pissed over his study time being interrupted, he knew he couldn’t just leave him there.

And so here he was, raising an eyebrow and prompting his friend to continue.

Taeyong sighed, feeling more like an idiot as time went on. The irony of him going to someone who had barely any experience in terms of dating for help was utterly ridiculous, but he kept finding himself in that position over and over again.

“I fucked up.”

Doyoung snorted. “You always do that.”

The former glared, “I’m serious. I fucked up so hard that I have no idea how to fix it.”

You were in love with him. He fucking apologized for pushing you away instead of saying it back like the absolute dumbass he was. He was in love with you too and he failed to tell you in time.

“Fine, fine,” Doyoung sighed, pushing away his textbooks when he realized his friend was serious. He had watched the two of you dance around each other for so long, what was a few more minutes of his life dedicated to it? Plus, he was admittedly a little invested in it now.

Yes, Kim Doyoung was potentially a whore for drama. And what about it?

Taeyong sucked in a deep breath and then started from the top. He told Doyoung the entire story, starting from that day so long ago at the library when he had dressed a little nicer than usual and used his good cologne just to impress you. He told him how you misunderstood his actions to such an extent that he ended up with you being his wingwoman.

He told him about how you helped him gather up the courage to ask this hypothetical girl out, and how you got him ready for the date. He was ready for the inevitable snickers around the part when he confessed that he sat alone in his car for two hours just to pretend he was at that date.

How he lied and ignored you and made every possible bad decision in the book along the way. You were right, after all, he really did need someone to guide him in the art of love, a wingwoman.

Preferably one that wasn’t you.

Once he was done, Doyoung was looking at him like he had grown another head. He probably deserved that, if he was going, to be honest with himself.

“You’re stupider than I thought.”

“I didn’t come here to be verbally abused, I came here for assistance.”

“You’ll get your assistance but first I have to remind you of how absolutely idiotic you’ve been,” Doyoung deadpanned, leaning back in his seat. “You apologized? I mean, at least you have your manners down.”

Taeyong groaned, burying his face in his hands. Just because he knew this was called for didn’t mean that he liked it any better. He waited for a moment for the other boy to continue, but nothing came.

“How do I fix this?”

……And now Doyoung was looking at him like he was a maniac. “You’re kidding.”

“Dead serious.”

“You seriously don’t know how to fix it?” He asked incredulously. “Why do I hang out with you again?”

“I swear to god-”

“You have a pretty face but your head is empty,” Doyoung grumbled, getting up from his seat and turning it around so he could sit on it backward, properly facing his obviously challenged friend. “You have to tell her the truth.”

Taeyong paused, remembering how much you disliked lying. Doyoung was right once again (unfortunately), the best thing to do was to come clean about everything that had happened, even if it ended with you hating him even more than you did currently.

So that meant he had everything to lose, but also everything to gain if things went right. He had to bet on it swerving the right way.

Begrudgingly, he admitted. “You’re right.”

“Hah, I always am.”

Your love for Taylor Swift was something you made sure Taeyong knew from the very start, where that was him having to listen to all your borderline insane theories over the next album she was going to release, or the songs that somehow were connected. He sat through them every time, not really paying attention to the content of your words, but more so to how your eyes sparkled with excitement over something you were truly passionate about.

Turning to Doyoung for help when it came to his love life was bad, so turning to songs written by an eleven-time Grammy award winner was a significant step up.

Stand there like a ghost Shaking from the rain, rain She'll open up the door And say, are you insane, -ane?

It wasn’t raining- thankfully- so he had to settle for an apology that was a little less dramatic. He was pretty sure he knew what he was doing for once, so all he had to do was actually go through with it.

He rang your doorbell twice in succession, which was a habit of his. He was the only person who did it like that, so the moment you heard it from where you were sitting in your bedroom (and sulking), you knew that it was Taeyong waiting out there for you. You cautiously swung your legs over the side of your bed and padded to the door, hesitating for a second before opening it.

You didn’t say anything when you first saw him standing there, instead, you silently held his gaze, gripping the side of the door. Taeyong gave you a crooked smile.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m insane?”

You frowned, “I don’t follow.”

He shrugged before sobering up and biting the inside of his cheek. He knew you better than anyone did, down to your littlest habits that you didn’t know you did yourself. He could see the hurt in your eyes that you had disguised as indifference and apathy, and he was somewhat comforted by it. It meant you loved him just as he loved you.

Say it's been a long six months And you were too afraid to tell her what you want, want

“The song said you would,” he said, hoping to at least crack a chuckle out of you, “Fine, I’ll continue and tell you why I’m here.” He shut his eyes for a moment and gathered his wits. “I would say it’s been a long six months but I saw you a week ago so.”

As if something had clicked in your mind, you gave him a look that was a mixture of amusement and bewilderment. “Shut up,” Your breathed out, unbelieving that he was actually doing this, “you’re not seriously—”

And then you say—

“I lied to you. A lot.”

So maybe he was thwarted from the original lyrics, but it had to be done. The moment he said those first few words, he could feel the weight of it all roll off his shoulders. He should have never lied in the first place because you were his best friend and you didn’t deserve that at all.

He was going to make this right. He was going to get his girl.

You blinked slowly to silently tell him to continue with whatever he had to say. It wasn’t like you had anything better to do anyway, and you were admittedly now intrigued to see where this was going.

“And I know you hate lying, but I promise it’ll all make sense.” Taeyong was nervous because as he had mentioned earlier, he had never thought about asking you our or every properly telling you how he felt. There were always a million excuses he fell back on to justify this decision, but for once everything depended on him putting those aside and doing it anyways.

“Do you remember the day at the library?”

You nodded because how could you forget? “You were trying to impress your girlfriend.” The word ‘girlfriend’ was said bitterly, you didn’t even try to hide it anymore. It wasn’t like you had to anyway, you had already outed yourself to his face.

He shook his head, “No, I was trying to impress you.”

And now you were confused and it was apparent on your face from the way your brow knitted and your lips turned downwards into a baffled pout. “I’m sorry?”

“Y/n,” he said, voice dropping to a whisper. It was barely loud enough, but due to the silence of the hallway outside your apartment and your own anticipation, you heard it. The way he said your name made you almost flinch, but his next words had the wind knocked out of your lungs.

“I love you too.”

Too, because he hadn’t responded to your own proclamation before. Too, because he returned those very feelings that you had harboured for so long towards the boy. Too, because your affections weren’t in lonesome, and too, because it was an assurance.

I love you too, and the world stopped just for a minute as you sucked in a breath, your heart beating faster as if reminding you to breathe. Could he perhaps hear the way it hammered against your chest?

“You love me,” You repeated his words in a whisper as if you couldn’t believe it. “Taeyong I don’t think—”

“Stop thinking then,” He said quickly, looking down at his shoes. “I lied because I was scared. I was scared that you wouldn’t see me the same way and then I just kept letting that lie get bigger and bigger. There isn’t another girl, there never was, because the girl I wanted the entire time was you. For fucks sake I faked going on a date! Do you know how boring it is to do nothing for two hours in your car?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of your throat, tears springing to your eyes. The information was overwhelming for you had never even considered this happening. You had settled firmly into your role as the best friend, the wingwoman, so much so that you had forgotten if there was anything after that. Your feelings had piled up so high that you couldn’t see what was behind them.

His own lips curled into the most affectionate of smiles at your laugh as he took a step closer to you. He reached out, hesitantly cupping your face with one hand, thumb brushing over your cheekbone gently. You leaned into his touch, placing your own hand over his.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, Doyoung said that too.”

More laughter, your eyes turned into little crescents of joy at the mention of your shared friend. Taeyong studied your face, picking up on the little things he loved so much about you.

“I love you Y/n, and I love you because you’re the one who I want to go with to the grocery store in the middle of the night, the one I want to call when something happens. I love seeing your caller ID on my phone, and the fact that you stayed with me to build that stupid set of lego flowers that still sits on my chest-of-drawers back home.”

His eyes- those eyes you adored so much- looked at you with so much emotion. You were positively enchanted by your best friend, as you had always been, and you were sure you always would be.

“I love when you show up at my place unannounced or drag me along to cook with you even though I end up doing most of the cooking because you suck at it. I love it when you call me at the worst hours possible and the look on your face when I show up.”

He dipped his head down a little, an infuriating little simper on his lips. “I love your smiles and your frowns, Y/n, because I love you.”

You thought you were going to start crying, because fuck, he was talking about you the way you had always wanted to be talked about. In that fond tone of voice where anyone could see how much he truly cared, he was using it for you. No matter how many times you had imagined that happening, nothing could ever beat the real thing.

“Stop it,” You choked out, hitting his arm, “You’re going to make me cry, you dumbass.” But you were smiling, blinking away the happy tears that were threatening to spill. “ Since you love my frowns so much, you’re forcing me to say this with the most unpleasant face I can muster up right now, but I love you too Taeyong, I have for an embarrassingly long time”

Your glower didn’t last very long, however, because you were too busy blinking rapidly to stop yourself from crying. It felt amazing to be able to say those words to him and have him say them back to you in the way you had always wanted. As something more.

He let out an offended sound. “Embarrassingly? I just poured my heart out to you and you classify it as embarrassing I-”

You quickly shut him up by pulling him forward and pressing your lips to his, which did the trick pretty quickly. He kissed you back, his arms falling to your waist as he pulled you in even more until your body was flush against his. You smiled into the kiss, not caring that you were still standing in your doorway.

There were no fireworks like they said in books and movies, no cheers in the background or music. Instead, you were hyperaware of the way his fingers drew dizzying circles on the exposed skin of your hips from how your shirt rid up and how his mouth moved against yours.

You memorised every second of your first kiss with your best friend, eyes fluttered shut and holy shit, you never knew a kiss could ever make your eyes flutter, but this one did.

The kiss was delicate, you slipped your arms around his neck and your fingers entangled in his hair, tugging ever so slightly. His lips were soft and cautious almost- he didn’t want to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.

You thought you fell just a little bit more in love with him.

Pulling away, you rested your forehead against his, eyes still screwed shut like you believed that it would all disappear if you opened them. A fever dream that you wanted so badly that you couldn’t bear the thought of it being ripped away from you. This time you clung onto it, holding it tight and you would never let it go.

You could still feel the ghost of his kiss on your mouth, something that you never wanted to forget. You let your hands slip from their position in his hair and down to his neck, trying your best to not giggle like a giddy schoolgirl.

It was by no means your first kiss, but the fact that it was with Taeyong, someone you truly loved, and not a random boy you had had a mild crush on made all the difference. He had kissed you like you were the only girl in the world, the only girl he ever wanted.

“So….do you wanna let me inside or do you wanna continue making out here in the cold hallway?”

“Fuck,” you muttered, a flush rising to your cheeks as you took a step away, having to bite down on your lower lip to stop your smile from showing. “Can we continue making out inside?”

He laughed, “Yes we can.” He was already pulling you back in after shutting the door, and you grinned, looking up at him. The boy had listened to Taylor Swift for you and loved you back, everything was perfect.

You just had one question though.

“Can we circle back to the fact that you faked going on a date or—”

“Not a chance.”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

Your boyfriend threw you a scandalized look at that statement, shaking his head as he took a few more steps. You were (surprisingly) not too far behind him, a grimace seemingly permanently etched into your face as you glared at him.

“Oh come on,” Taeyong protested, stopping where he was and helping you catch up to him. “It isn’t that bad.”

“You woke me up at four a.m for this! The sun is still asleep.” And it was because the sky was still a deep purple colour at five a.m. You were close to destroying all his chances of having offspring in the future.

“That’s…..that’s why it’s called a sunrise hike genius, you’re supposed to finish the hike to see the sun come out.” He deadpanned, a droll expression on his face at your whining. You knew he didn’t really mind it and was simply amused.

“If the sun isn’t awake, we shouldn’t be either.”

“What, are you a plant or something? Do you need photosynthesis?”

There were boyfriends that let their girlfriends sleep in on days off, and then there was Taeyong who practically dragged you out of bed to go on a stupid hike. For someone who constantly told you how fucked up your sleep schedule was, he wasn’t really helping fix it, now was he? Hypocrite - a cute one- but a hypocrite nonetheless.

“I’m trying to be romantic and this is how you act?” He asked, an infuriatingly adorable pout resting on his lips. You had to pinch your lips to stop yourself from smiling because if you did, he would never let you live it down.

“Taeyong, I love you, but nothing is romantic before ten.”

He simply rolled his eyes, reaching out to take your hand and help you climb up a jagged bit of the trail. You stumbled slightly and he slipped his arm around your waist to steady you so you wouldn’t fall flat on your face, making sure you found your footing. You mumbled thanks under your breath, shaking your hair out of your face and dusting your pants.

“Come on,” He said, squeezing your hand, “We’re almost there anyway. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

You would never understand how he thought this was relaxing or romantic in the slightest because you were already tired and your hair was sticking to your forehead due to it being weirdly hot that morning.

The things you did for this boy. You silently scoffed at yourself as you followed him, this time managing to stay in step and not fall too behind. You didn’t even have any caffeine in your system right now and he knew how much you needed your daily fix of it. The fact that he had managed to get you out here without that was a miracle in itself.

The two of you had made it official a few days after he told you that he loved you back, much to Doyoungs relief more than surprise. He had been tired of being subjected to your mutual obliviousness and was probably the first and biggest supporter of the relationship, but not without pointing out how much of a third wheel he had always been.

Taeyong was an amazing boyfriend, even when he made you wake up much too early for your liking. Being with him was incredibly natural and the two of you worked perfectly together as if it had been made to be that way all along.

The sky was now a lighter colour, indicating that the sun was rising. The trail was almost finished, and Taeyong stopped where he was, a small smile making its way onto his face as he looked out at the view.

“We’re here,” He whispered, and you joined him, sucking in a breath- one, because you needed it from all the hiking and two, because god.

It was fucking gorgeous. He had been right, it really was worth the getting up early and taking the hike just to see how the sunrays filtered through the sky and spilled out over the city below, painting the sky with oranges and pink hues that blended into the blue.

“I…wow,” You couldn’t find the words to describe the beauty of the scene, forgetting all about your contempt over being awoken so early.

“Told you so,” he quipped, and you elbowed him, letting out an unamused laugh, turning to face him properly. Maybe it was more than the view that had you feeling the way you did right then like you were on top of the world. Maybe it was Taeyong right by your side, hand in hand with you. The glow of the sun just about flickered through his hair, giving him a gentle halo.

“You….were right,” you admitted finally, letting him wrap you in a hug and pull you closer. “And you know what? I’ll give it to you, this is pretty romantic. Even if you did make me exercise at five in the morning.”

He pushed some of your hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. “Was that so hard to say?”

“Extremely. I’m never doing that again.” And with that, you pressed your lips to his for a short, sweet kiss underneath the rising sun atop the trail of the hike. Breaking away, you buried your head in the crook of his head, and the two of you stayed like that for a bit, basking in each other’s comforting silence.

Taeyong quite liked the outcome of the mess he made, somehow everything had worked out, and he promised himself he would never do something that stupid again. He would never let you go.

“Hey, Taeyong?”

“Yeah?”

There wasn’t even a moment of hesitation from you. “I love you.”

He would never, ever get tired of hearing that. The two of you had come a lot way, from a girl latching onto a boy because he was the only person she recognized, to both of you being everything to each other.

“I love you too.”

And that’s how it works, Taeyong thought, that’s how you get the girl.

fin.

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