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#=anyways. we’re very tired. I feel bad for the new guy. I literally cannot do anything about this.
x-rds · 2 years
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[Lio] It’s also. Can I say? Brain? It’s also so fucking rude that every time we are going through it and someone new gets plucked out of the primordial darkness to “handle it” that they are then blasted with the full 1000% raw fucking bad vibes energy and the rest of us just have to witness that (which also hits us with it residually), none of us can do fuckall about it, and then spoilers: that is Too Much for them to handle and we have to not only deal with the same fucking situation still, but also a brand new fucked up guy who had no say in whether or not they fucking Exist On This Planet. Like even babies are like. They have a chance to gradually cope with things. But new bastards in ye olde Crossroads? Get blasted with beam of fucking psychic evisceration the moment you start existing and then you look around and see a handful of chucklefucks who have gone through this same fucking traumatic brain-hazing and it’s like. Ok! Why is literally nothing fixed by this series of events
#liolog#=I want you all to understand that headspace has been full of Screaming. for like. Days.#=Not random fearful screaming I mean like Angry Guy In A Song screaming. that guttural but melodic rage type screaming#=on account of the guy that the Brain decided to try to mop up its emotional mess with is A Fucking Bard#=whose power comes from His Fucking Voice like that’s his Instrument he’s a fucking Whispers bard#=and in his defense I do not believe that he actually has much power over this turn of events I think he’s being just bombarded with#our brain’s introductory fucking excruciating psychic beams#=so he’s just mostly been inside of like a fucking. storm bubble? emotional Hell bubble? being only maybe 25% aware of anything and#=otherwise being delirious and getting psychically assaulted and shouting his head off#=which anyone even a little bit near front can hear very fucking loudly#=he’s become more aware recently from what I can tell but like also. still suffering. at this point it’s like. ok. is this necessary?#=can we not just watch some funny YouTube and then go to bed and go to work tomorrow?#=can we not just dissociate or something? must it be this. must this new guy be tortured by our malfunctioning emotional processes#=for like days straight#=like come ON brain you have to know this won’t work right.#=you are filling a bucket with water and the bucket has holes in it. like you get that right#=anyways. we’re very tired. I feel bad for the new guy. I literally cannot do anything about this.#=except wait for it to either pass or like. idk we dissociate enough that we don’t feel it anymore or something
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Take My Breath Away
(A/N) so that first fic did pretty okay! here’s another natasha fic bc i have literally dozens just sitting around in my google docs bc i really didn’t think i’d ever post them anywhere but now i have this beautiful garbage can here and all you lovely little trash pandas! thank you so much for all the comments they were so sweet!! while i finish up my Long AF Diana Fic, I’ll try to post some shorter imagines i have shoved aside somewhere. Might open to requests soon, but no promises bc that diana fic really do be taking up all my hyperfixation... anyway, thank you guys sm i hope you like this one even if it’s not as intense as my 5+1 fic!
Rating: T (bc I swear a lot and cannot help myself)
Warnings: The overdone “I’m Sick And Refuse To Admit It” trope; pretty much entirely fluff; very little plot; weirdly enough i wrote this before the pandemic hit and i cant help wondering if that was god telling me to stop being a useless lesbian but oh well i left that bitch on read; another reader w fire powers bc i guess i was feelin like burning shit during this particular time
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader
Word Count: 3,726
Synopsis: Natasha has the flu and to avoid her wrath, the Avengers decide to go on a top secret mission. Unfortunately, either because you’re the newest member of the group or because Natasha always seems to fixate on you, you’re tasked with staying behind and taking care of her. You may have bitten off more than you can chew.
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this is my fav gif of her god damm get u a girl whos a cinnamon roll AND a sinnamon roll
“So is there a reason you guys are sneaking out on your missions so late?” You ask Steve, who looks over your shoulder with a shadow of fear and guilt. “And you’re leaving me behind?”
You had coincidentally been training later into the evening than planned. You were just exiting the gym when you saw Wanda and Peter tiptoeing down the hall as if they were a pair of school children trying to sneak into the kitchen for late night snacks. You followed them to the docking bay, where the quinjet was already firing up and ready to leave.
“Not you,” Steve shakes his head, lowering his voice to a whisper. “We’re leaving Natasha. She’s got a cold and refuses to take it easy. Wanda slipped her some NyQuil so we could have a few hours to prep and leave.”
“You’re scared of Natasha with a cold?” You scoff, and his grave expression makes your laughter die down quickly. You frown. “She hates me, Steve. I’ll probably be dead by the time you come back!”
The blonde rolls his eyes, a smile pulling at his lips. “She doesn’t hate you. You’ll be fine.”
“The entirety of the Avengers is running away from her, I really don’t think she’ll go easy on me because I’m new.”
“She’ll go easy on you because, when Nat’s got a cold, she’s miserable.” He places a comforting hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Trust me, (Y/N), you’ll be fine. Besides, the place we’re going doesn’t do well with… well, fire.”
“But Carol is going!” You whine and he laughs.
“Carol can’t set an entire building on fire at the drop of a pin. Just stay here and make sure Nat doesn’t get too dramatic.”
You relent, at last, with a defeated sigh and watch the others load onto the jet before leaving into the starry night.
Cowards, you think bitterly to yourself before returning inside.
-
You’re in the kitchen when Natasha slumps against the counter, her already pale skin a sickly pallor. Her nose is red, and you can tell by the way she sniffles that she can’t breathe out of it at all.
You finish fixing yourself a cup of coffee, feeling her tired gaze following you as you do so. 
“Where’s everyone?” She asks, her voice far huskier than usual, and to be honest it’s weirdly hot but you decide to shove that thought deep down.
“Out,” you answer, finally meeting her gaze. Her eyes are watery, and you suddenly feel a pang of guilt at fighting Steve so hard on staying here. She doesn’t seem so bad. Yet. “They snuck away last night. Told me to keep you out of trouble.”
“Cowards,” she starts, then immediately launches into a hard coughing fit. You set aside your mug and quickly get a glass of water. The redhead eyes you skeptically before accepting it, and you suddenly feel like you’re treading on thin ice. “I don’t need a sitter.” She growls after taking a long gulp of the water.
You snort. “Nurse, more like. You look like shit, Romanoff.”
“Fuck you,” Natasha looks longingly at the coffee machine. 
“Mm, not a fan of whatever cooties you’re infected with.” You tease, and to your absolute delight a blush spreads across her cheeks. “But the offer is definitely noted.”
“I hate you,” Natasha croaks, then goes back to chugging the water. 
“Well, hate me or not, I’m taking care of you, so you better get used to it.” You reach across the countertop to feel her forehead, and the action causes the redhead to stiffen so much you fear she’s turned to stone. Sure enough, she’s blazing hot - which, honestly, for you to feel her fever despite your powers, that’s a cause of concern. “Geez, how long have you been sick?”
“I’m not sick,” she sounds incredibly congested, despite her protests, and you let out a series of ‘tsks’. She hasn’t ripped your arm off yet, so that’s definitely a good sign. You retract your hand and hum thoughtfully.
“I’ll go to the drugstore and get you some cold medicine. Maybe some gatorade, too. And orange juice - I mean, unless you want what’s in the fridge?”
Her nose wrinkles. “I’m not drinking that pulp shit. Stark has a one way ticket to Hell for that.”
You snort in agreement. “Fair enough. Any other requests before you’re condemned to quarantine?”
“Quarantine?”
“I’m not catching your germs,” you repeat, to which Natasha rolls her eyes.
“You’d only be so lucky,” she mutters bitterly. 
“I’m gonna go get that medicine. If you aren’t either in the shower or in bed by the time I get back, I will have to use force,” you warn, though it’s a playful enough threat that Natasha almost smiles, before launching into a rather difficult sneezing fit.
Is it weird to find someone’s sneeze cute?
With this, you down your coffee and make for the elevator. You hear Natasha call your name, and pause mid-step.
“Can you, uh, get a new thermometer? Danvers ruined the last one.”
You nod, snorting at the memory of Carol suffering a cold herself and absolutely refusing to not go on missions. It’s hard to argue with someone who can rival even your own fire-based abilities, and, well, she was, technically, a Captain so there’s very little room for argument.
-
When you return, Natasha is not in her room, nor is she in her private shower. Groaning, you scour the Compound for her until, finally, locating her in the gym. She’s punching the hell out of one of the training dummies but she lacks her usual determination; her punches sloppy and her body drenched in sweat.
Look, you’re no doctor, but that cannot be healthy.
Especially with how hard she’s wheezing and stumbling.
You hurry over to her, and quickly realize that she’s shivering. It’s like she’s a goddamn chihuahua, a near-steady vibration rolling through her body when you reach out to grab her arm before she can swing another punch at the training dummy that’s hardly twitched since you’ve entered.
“Got- cold. Needed…” Natasha takes a long swig from her waterbottle. “Warmth.”
“Jesus, you’re going to kill yourself if you keep pulling this shit.” You don’t hide your genuinely worried tone, nor do you hide your irritation. “You aren’t stupid. What the fuck, Romanoff?”
Natasha turns to glare at you, but the effect is lost when she looks so pale and weak. You sigh, trying to keep your tone even as you offer something you don’t think you’ve ever imagined offering Natasha Romanoff.
“I can raise my body temperature. If you wanted to be warm, you could have waited for a literal human space heater.”
Okay, maybe that’s not really an ‘offering’, but it’s in a tone that wouldn’t make her totally weirded out. At least, that’s what you’d like to tell yourself. Thankfully, she seems to understand, and though she appears reluctant, she does step a little closer to you. You try to resist rolling your eyes as your arms snake around her waist, pulling her flush against you. You allow the heat that always boils just below the surface of your skin to manifest slowly, warming up your body as you keep Natasha’s against it.
Natasha once again feels as though she’s become stone, but she slowly relaxes into the awkward hold; her own hands tentatively make their way around your lower back. After another few moments, she hums, and melts into you.
“Wow, that’s nice,” she murmurs, moreso to herself than you. 
You laugh softly. “See? I’m good for something.”
The recollection of your last argument makes her freeze once more, and you’re worried that she’s going to push you away - or worse. She doesn’t, however. Instead, her face falls into the space between your shoulder and neck.
“You’re good for lots’ve things,” she mutters, and you realize that her voice has become quite groggy and sluggish.
“C’mon, you gotta take your medicine before you go back to sleep,” you urge, your tone becoming soft. 
If Natasha notices the unusual tone, she doesn’t comment. She nods into you, and allows you to lead her out of the gym and into the kitchen once more, where you’d placed your bag of goodies.
After encouraging her to take the cold medicine, you put the new thermometer between her plump lips and wait. Her eyelids droop dangerously as she patiently waits, and you’re a little ashamed to say the sight makes your stomach flop pleasantly. 
The digital thermometer beeps, and you have to do a double-take on the number. You have to give Natasha several minutes of encouragement to take a shower before going back to sleep, but to your utter astonishment she does give in - and in just three tries! This, perhaps, is among the most worrying of symptoms.
Once she’s showered and changed into new pajamas, you’re ready to leave her to sleep when her voice, very quiet now, calls out:
“Wait, I need…” Her hesitation causes you to turn around, an eyebrow arching in confusion. “I’m cold,” she finally says, though her tone is a little off. 
You swallow thickly, all thoughts of cooties leaving your mind like they hadn’t been there at all as you move to lay next to her. Truthfully, you aren’t tired at all, but you think that makes this all the more terrifying; you’re just going to lay here, Natasha cuddling with you, for hours while she recovers from a cold-medicine-induced coma? Shit. 
She’s never been this nice to you before. It’s always hard-comments, witty banter - nothing like this. This tenderness - it’s foreign, and you daresay it’s making it impossible to deny your attraction to her.
Still, as guilty as it makes you feel, you cherish this weird moment of softness. Natasha’s body curling against your own, letting you wrap your arms around her and focusing on a steadying warmth for the girl in your arms.
“Thanks,” she whispers, almost inaudibly against your collarbone. Your head is spinning wildly.
Has this always been there, you wonder?
You’ve definitely been attracted to her from the start - that’s undeniable. She’s the Black Widow - one does not simply wear skin-tight bodysuits unless they are confident in their appearance. And, wow, does she deserve that confidence. 
But this is different.
It’s weird. That’s all you can really sum it up to. It’s weird. Natasha curled around you, red-nosed and sniffly, acting like you’re all she needs in this world.
You want to fucking punch every single damn Avenger.
-
The next several days follow much the same pattern; you keep Natasha in bed, drinking plenty of fluids and eating enough of your homemade soup that you’ve just started improvising in ways to keep her entertained. Her fever hasn’t gone down by much, but she’s becoming a little more coherent. She’s admitted to spending a lot of time in the gym before Rogers condemned her to your care, and /that, you suspect, is a primary cause of her condition being so shitty.
And, for once, she’s civil. No snide comments, no crude remarks - nothing. Just… a normal woman, as she would be with the rest of the Avengers. You wonder, briefly, if you’ve somehow earned your place on the team in her eyes simply by taking care of her, but you also aren’t entirely sure why her opinion has changed so abruptly.
Not that you’re complaining.
Natasha and you have been binge-watching shows left and right, and in this time you’ve come to appreciate - and even /enjoy - her presence. Her laugh.
Tonight, you’ve turned to a Russian stew recipe you’d found online; Natasha has turned on some old detective movie, black-and-white, that she’s been claiming to be “The greatest cinematic experience you will ever have in your life.” 
She has said that about most old movies she’s gotten you to watch, and thus far you are unconvinced.
“I just can’t get over the incredibly oppressed homosexuality of these men. Or the way the cinematic industry portrayed any heterosexual couple, ever-” 
To which Natasha would almost always groan dramatically, and the action was so damn adorable that you end up letting her pick another classic film just to see it again.
You definitely hadn’t expected her eyes to fill with tears after the first few spoonfuls.
Your mind immediately runs into overdrive. As another woman, you should probably be better at these things - but, honestly, you’re shit at cheering people up, so you aren’t sure what to do here at all. Cheering up the average gal wasn’t always so difficult, but cheering up Natasha? 
Fucking hell. Might as well be fighting a dragon blindfolded.
“Uh- is it really that bad?” Is the idiotic shit that spews out of your mouth instead of any well-thought-out sentence.
To your relief, she lets out a watery chuckle. “No! It’s- it’s great.” She looks down at it, a rare smile playing at her lips. “It just reminded me of Russia, is all.”
“Oh,” it leaves you in a breathy sort of exhale. There’s a pregnant pause before you ask, “Do you… miss it?”
Her green eyes turn to you with a heated sort of intensity that makes you wary of one of her all-too-familiar outbursts. To your surprise, however, the heat simmers, and she turns back to the stew, taking another spoonful. “Sometimes,” she answers finally, and you begin eating your own bowl of stew.
The movie she’d put on is easy to follow; you watch it in companionable silence, your mind racing on countless tracks. As they seem to often lately, they focus mainly around the woman beside you, and what could possibly be behind her odd behavior.
Is she actually opening up, or is this just another persona? When the others come back, will she return to her almost cruel attitude towards you?
It keeps you awake late into the night, Natasha’s slow breath against your neck hardly soothing as you try to separate your personal feelings from your logical ones. You’re several hours into your brooding when Natasha starts twitching and muttering.
You don’t quite catch what she’s saying, but you assume it’s in Russian - quick and near-silent whispers as her face contorts into expressions of pain and anger. Her arm that’s thrown around your stomach suddenly constricts its hold, and you let out a huff of air at the action.
Fucking hell, she’s strong.
Then, sharp and fearful, Natasha snarls, “No!” and separates from you entirely, a cry of pain ripping through her. You sit up quickly, turning on the light and frantically murmuring to her to try and wake her up. Not wanting to end up dead on the floor, you’re careful in coaxing her out of the nightmare. When she finally wakes up, she jolts up so fast that she nearly knocks her head into yours.
Sweat lines her forehead, her pupils dilated and her breathing uneven as she looks around the room as if expecting shadows to turn into monsters.
“Nat, you’re okay,” you keep your tone gentle, your hand daring to reach out towards her own. “I’m here. You’re safe.”
Natasha practically throws herself back into you, and you aren’t sure if she’s crying or trying to catch her breath. You wrap your arms around her, rubbing slow circles along her back and summoning a bit of heat in your palms until she finally relaxes. She takes several slow, even breaths before pulling back a little, wiping under her eyes swiftly.
“Sorry,” she mutters, looking away from you. 
Frightened of her closing herself off again, you make a brave move. The bravest damn move you’ve ever made - possibly your last. “You can trust me, Nat.”
There’s a terrifying silence wherein you fear, genuinely, for your life. To your surprise, when Natasha looks back at you, she’s got that vulnerable expression once again. She swallows, running her tongue over her lips.
“Just… bad memories,” she says at last, and you frown.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head, closing her eyes tightly. “Not… not right now.” A pause. “But, maybe, someday.”
That’s enough, for now.
You turn the light back off, laying back down against her silk sheets and numerous pillows, a far cry from your own messy bed. Natasha lays on her side, looking over her shoulder expectantly. Unused to the idea of /spooning Natasha, you fall into your place with understandable apprehension. 
It’s nice, though.
It’s always nice to hold her.
Fucking hell does she even know what she’s doing to you?
One of Natasha’s hands moves up to your own that’s resting comfortably on her waist. Her fingers curl with yours, and you can’t hear whatever it is she says thanks to the roar of your heartbeat in your ears.
You’re going to kill Steve Rogers.
-
Natasha has been quiet all day. The team is supposed to come back soon, and that means you’ll probably be sent to clean up after them. Natasha will likely be forced by Steve to hang back, which she’ll hate but do anyway, so you spend much of the day preparing yourself for the inevitability of your coming mission.
You’ve grown so used to chatting with Natasha that the silence feels louder than words. She’s getting better, but keeps getting the chills so you switch between checking your gear and training with your powers, as well as giving Natasha the cuddles she needs to keep her teeth from chattering.
It’s odd, because Natasha hasn’t had a fever in at least twenty four hours, so you can’t imagine why she still gets the chills. Maybe this flu is worse than you thought? But she wasn’t sniffly anymore, either, and her cough seems to be entirely gone.
You don’t say any of this, though. Part of you - a very selfish part that, honestly, probably shouldn’t exist - enjoys the fact that the redhead wants to snuggle up with you. After enduring her attitude for months, it’s a change in pace you aren’t eager to let go of anytime soon. She fits so perfectly in your arms, feels so good to hold - how can you go back to sleeping alone in your bed after all of this?
Natasha inhales slowly, then exhales in a harsh breath. Her head rolls onto your shoulder, a hum slipping her lips. “I have to tell you something,” she says slowly, cautiously. “But you have to promise not to be mad.”
You scoff. “What, are you about to declare your undying love for me?”
“Uh- well, actually…”
Your heart leaps into your throat. You look down at her with wide eyes. “Wait, what?”
“I was lying about being cold,” Natasha admits, blushing. “And I picked all those fights with you because I, um,” she mumbles something incoherently.
“What was that?” You can’t fight the rising smirk.
Natasha huffs. “You heard me.”
“Nope, I didn’t,” you start to withdraw your arms but Natasha pushes further into them in protest.
“Okay! Okay. I… sort of have a… y’know. Crush, or whatever. On you.”
Now your smirk is a full on shit-eating grin. “You mean to tell me that I’ve officially woo’d the Black Widow?”
Natasha pushes your shoulder away. “Cute, but I could still kick your ass.” Her cheeks are crimson - you’ve never seen her so flustered before. You wish you could take a picture with your mind and cherish it forever. “I just didn’t think they’d leave you with me when I got the flu, and then you were being so sweet and-
“Nat,” you interrupt. Her emerald eyes meet yours, wide and a little afraid. “I like you, too.”
“‘Like’. What are we, sixth graders?” Natasha rolls her eyes despite the smile pulling at her lips.
“And here I was going to offer you a kiss to make up for all the teasing.” You drawl sarcastically.
Natasha moves suddenly into your lap, pulling your lips against hers in a passionate kiss. It’s like she’s been waiting months to feel your lips on hers - and, honestly, she might have been. You know you’ve certainly thought about this more than once, even before Natasha got sick.
When she pulls away, Natasha leans her forehead against yours with a disbelieving grin on her now parted lips. “You talk too much.”
-
When the team returns, looking a little battered but not too terrible, Natasha seems back to her normal self. Everyone definitely catches onto the sudden change in her behavior towards you, but thankfully, nobody questions it. As nice as it is to see Natasha healthy, the morning everyone returns you feel a little woozy. Everyone sounds a little muffled, and you can’t really breathe out of your nose, like, at all.
You don’t have much time to dwell on it, though, as you’re sent to meet up with some SHIELD agents to clear out the rest of the HYDRA facility the others had destroyed. This only takes a few days, but when you return, you feel like you’re on death’s door. You’re unnaturally cold, nose running and a sneeze always building in the back of it.
Tony, weirdly enough, is the first to mention it. Unsurprisingly, he decides the best time to bring this up is during the first dinner the entirety of the team can share since their mission.
“So, did you and Romanoff swap spit or are you just sick from being stuck with her?”
You nearly choke on your pasta. “Fwhap?” 
He snorts, rolling his eyes. “You look like shit, (Y/N).”
“Oh,” you blush when Natasha turns her intense gaze on you. “Uh- I’m- I mean, I’ll get over it fast. I’m fine, really.”
“Nope,” Natasha shakes her head sternly. “Absolutely not.”
Everyone looks at her with blatant surprise.
She shrugs lightly under the attention. “You took care of me. Let me return the favor.”
“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Tony asks Steve in a terrible whisper.
Natasha happily responds with a kick under the table, her eyes never leaving yours. “C’mon, get to bed.”
“This is payback, isn’t it?” You groan as you stand up, earning a roar of laughter from the others.
Natasha’s sadistic grin is response enough. This is going to be a long recovery week.
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 303: And What, Pray Tell, Is a “One For All”
Previously on BnHA: The Todorokis (really just Enji) looked at their children and went “how can we screw up all four of them in uniquely different ways” and proceeded to do just that. Touya was all “just because practicing how to set myself on fire better hasn’t worked to win my dad’s affections YET doesn’t mean it will NEVER work”, because child logic. Turns out setting oneself on fire real hard isn’t so effective at winning affections, but is actually incredibly effective when it comes to burning oneself to death, so there’s that. Back in the present day, the Todorokis basked in their various misplaced (again, except for Enji) feelings of guilt, and were all “anyway but get over yourself already Enji, you still have to do something to stop this kid”, and Shouto was all “I’ll help too”, and Enji was all “(╥_╥)”, and Hawks and Jeanist were all “[surreptitiously listening in from outside the door]”, and that’s basically where we left off.
Today on BnHA: Hawks and Jeanist are all “mind if we join you on this family journey?” and proceed to stroll in uninvited with their puns and their perceptive insights. Hawks is all “so to sum everything up, we’re fucked, but at least you have us here to help you out! by the way, no clue why I’m the first person to ask this in three hundred chapters, but wtf is One For All.” We then cut to Deku, who’s still all “[(--)]z”, and All Might, who is all “I’m just going to ignore the extremely loud racket going on right outside this room.” Which, btw, is happening on account of Bakugou, who is all “(╬◣Д◢)” as Satou, Tsuyu, and Mineta cart him away. Anyway so that’s a lot of antics, and also it looks like Hawks has gotten tired of the Todorokis refusing to put the pieces together on their own about OFA and so he is fast-tracking that shit. And meanwhile Deku is chatting it up with the Vestiges exactly like we all thought. And now we have to wait another whole week for updates on all of this. This really is not fair.
omfg lol
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“our bad, we were kind of accidentally listening in on purpose.” like I said last week guys, no fuss. it’s a tradition
OMG
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I am absolutely fucking floored. Hawks literally said that so casually that it’s impossible for me to rewrite it so as to be even more casual. that’s literally what I would write in the “today on bnha” section. in fact I probably will write that
(ETA: just for laughs I tried it and it really worked.)
a couple more things to point out about this panel: 
“TOP 3” omg yes. more like “top only” at this point, honestly. interested to see how that goes
Hawks’s phone is freaking the fuck out about something, calm down there
I know this is a standard Jeanist hair-fixing gesture that he does all the time, but I can’t help but form hypotheses about this being a stress reaction because Hawks’s hair is making him internally freak out. Hawks, if this man tries to get you alone with him and some hairspray and a comb, please for the love of god do not listen to him. get out of there and call the authorities
omg Shouto’s face
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okay confession, I wasn’t really sold on the whole “Shouto has a schoolboy crush on Hawks” thing until exactly now, when I became 100% sold on it. that is adorable
and heck with it, gotta show Enji and Rei’s reactions here as well because lol
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“omg my son who’s not my son, and he just overheard everything about me being a terrible shitty father and person overall, oh and plus my actual-son set him on fire and called him out on a national broadcast. I’m just gonna stare at him baffledly.” versus Rei, who is all “hmm, who are these people”
so Hawks is all “I got released from the hospital after one day for some reason so I made Jeanist drive me around places while we talked about life” but uh, heyyyyy, what’s Rei doing
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okay, uh
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SO FUCKING FORMAL OMFG. “SORRY MY KID TRIED TO BURN YOU TO DEATH, APPARENTLY HE DOES THAT” REI NO IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT
HAWKS IS ALL “I’M JUST GONNA LAUGH SINCE THAT’S MY DEFAULT RESPONSE TO BEING PROFOUNDLY UNCOMFORTABLE”
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let me tell you a secret Hawks, it’s my default response too. ahahahahahahaha oh thank god Jeanist is helping her up -- AND MAKING A JEANS PUN, OF COURSE. IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY SECONDS. MY MAN WAS DYING
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“WTF IS ILLEGAL DENIM” he’s talking ‘bout them counterfeit jeans, Rei. Antoine Bugleboy knows
THANK YOU JEANIST!! OUT HERE ASKING THE RELEVANT QUESTIONS
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damn straight. we’re not gonna sit around waiting another 300 chapters for this information on this man’s watch
now Hawks is telling Endeavor he used to watch videos of him all the time, and calling him his “childhood obsession” I can’t
OH MY SWEET STARS AND MOONS
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1000% CANON. “SO CLOSE...” ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU REALLY PUT THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE THERE AND EVERYTHING. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, SO JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T ALREADY AWARE, TODOROKI SHOUTO IS NOT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT.” HORIKOSHI KOUHEI I AM LITERALLY DUMBFOUNDED. THIS IS AMAZING
and meanwhile that look on Hawks’s face while he casually-but-not-really-casually-at-all asks this question. that phone app better be using his actual voice. I’m not sure I could take this scene in the anime at this point if it was like Alexa talking or something
that look in his eyes is basically saying that so far, based on the information he has absorbed up until this point, Hawks is prepared to view his former childhood obsession as a flawed but changed man. however I get the distinct feeling that depending on Endeavor’s answer now, he would be willing to drastically shift some of his opinions on him
(ETA: this is maybe my favorite panel in the entire chapter. the fact that his question isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, but his eyes are zeroing on on Endeavor. and the way his leaning-on-Shouto pose manages to be simultaneously nonchalant and yet ever-so-slightly protective. there’s so much going on in this one question and gesture and I’m mildly obsessed with it.)
however, Rei is all “that was me” and ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FACES IN THIS CHAPTER holy shit
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Hawks definitely did not see that one coming sob. it’s so fun watching him frantically recalculate his ideas about this family every two seconds
DAMN IT HORIKOSHI I UNDERSTOOD THE PARALLELS ALREADY, YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS
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yes, Hawks, you get it. it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. though unlike your shitty parents, Rei and Enji are at least trying
OKAY I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WITH ALL OF THIS
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fljkdlaskfjlwkjl okay we’re doing the bullet-points breakdown here
first of all, the fact that poor little Shouto’s heart is still thumping away at this proximity and all he can think is “CLOSE” all intelligently as he stares at him with that face omg
and meanwhile Horikoshi has these STRATEGIC BANDAGES WRAPPED AROUND HIS CHEEKS TO HIDE ALL OF HIS SHOUJO BLUSHING omfg. SENPAI NOTICED YOU SWEETIE!!!
HAWKS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO OBLIGATION TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO NEVER SPARED YOU THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REGARD OR CONCERN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. THE NICEST THING YOUR MOM EVER DID FOR YOU WAS BUY YOU A $2 ENDEAVOR PLUSH FROM THE DISCOUNT BIN TO KEEP YOU QUIET, AND YOU WERE SO AWED BY THAT ONE ACT OF SORTA KINDA APPROXIMATE KINDNESS THAT YOU SHAPED YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AROUND IT. PLEASE LET ME PICK YOU UP IN A BIG HUG FOR JUST A SEC, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND YOU WERE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT JUSTIFIED IN LEAVING THEM IN THE DUST THE SECOND THAT YOU COULD
but all that said, he immediately recognizes that Shouto would also have had cause to do the same in his situation, and yet hasn’t. and so he has that much more admiration for him all of a sudden, which is just super sweet, and fully appropriate. Shouto does deserve props. I’m choosing to take this as an “it takes a lot of strength to be able to forgive, and people who choose to do that even though they’re not obligated to are really amazing" type of thing, as opposed to “people who don’t forgive other people who severely wronged them are bad.” and if I’m wrong and Hawks’s line here is meant to be seen as actual failing on his part, well then fuck that, but we’ll move on
SO NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS!
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I am so, so curious as to what kind of strategy Hawks has for this (if he even has any), so I’ll just be quiet now and read
so Hawks is summing up basically what we already knew -- that Tomura and his inner circle (curious that there’s no mention of AFO, because if Hawks doesn’t know about him, that implies almost no one does) are still on the lam with a few PLF stragglers and some High Ends; that a bunch of prisons have been “liberated” (I assume this means all of the inmates escaped, so if that’s the case then where’s Kurogiri??); that the HPSC is fucked; and that heroes are resigning all over the place, and so civilians are taking matters into their own hands
OH DAMN!?
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does this mean we’ll actually see some international heroes?? I will LOSE MY DAMN SHIT omg
(ETA: apparently people who paid more attention to the first BnHA movie than I did recognized the silhouettes as belonging to some background characters from Two Heroes. so maybe they were just cameos and they’re not actually new characters who are soon to join us lol. oh well.)
anyway so Hawks agrees with the other Todorokis that Endeavor has no choice but to fight
awww
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DON’T WORRY ENJI THEY’VE GOT YOUR BACK. WITH YOUR FLAMES, AND JEANIST’S PUNS, AND HAWKS’S BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS, THE THREE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MINDS TO
so Enji is very pertinently asking why they’re standing by him in spite of the... [gestures vaguely to everything]
oh my lordy lord
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Shouto you had better do something to combat this soon, or this man will sneak past you on my favorite character ranking after all. his face. his cheeky lil finger gun. the fact that he sums it up so fucking simply. “if someone is trying to do the right thing, I want to support them.” exactly. exactly
(ETA: and one last thing I love but forgot to mention, which is the fact that Hawks calls it a team-up despite the fact that he is clearly in charge.)
meanwhile Jeanist is all “as for me, at this point I just straight up don’t give a fuck”
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I can’t handle how fucking cool this chapter is you guys
so Hawks is all “you good?” at Enji. and Enji...
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if anyone needs me, I will be building myself a discourse-proof fort made entirely out of problematic characters. I don’t even care. I will go on living my life very happily in here
lol at Natsu being all “BUT DON’T THINK THIS MAKES US FRIENDS”
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I’m living for this weird and no-doubt entirely unintended implication that Natsu and them all are gonna join in the fight with the rest of them. I mean, they do presumably all have very powerful ice quirks. and Natsu has medical training on top of that, and Fuyu is skilled at getting eight-year-olds to behave which could be a useful talent for dealing with Tomura hahaha I kid, but I’M JUST SAYING. who needs hero licenses anyway
OH SHIT FINALLY SOME DISCUSSION OF AN ACTUAL STRATEGY. even if it’s just a PR strategy
WHAKLHL
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and now for some reason we’re flashing back to Natsu and Fuyu’s attempts to navigate through the media crowd outside the hospital
well I guess this is why I’m not the mangaka. if I were writing this I would have done something trite and predictable like using that “One for All” line as an excuse to cut to Deku!! as opposed to this entirely unrelated scene!!
seriously though why do we need to see this lol
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no one in this crowd has ever heard of Alexander Dumas huh. or even the popular 2007 Disney Channel original movie, High School Musical 2
so now there’s an entire page of Hawks saying they need to know what One for All is, and Endeavor having one of those patented Todoroki WHOOSH realizations lmao look at this
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just wait until this man figures out that one of the scrappy new interns he took on three months ago was actually the main character all along
SKDFIOHWIERLKSJGLWLK!!
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NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO ASK MYSELF WHY I CHOSE THIS CHARACTER WHO KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SIX OR TWELVE OR FORTY CHAPTERS AT A TIME TO BE MY FUCKING FAVORITE. WELCOME BACK SON PLEASE DON’T SCREAM YOURSELF TO DEATH YOU STILL HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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(ETA: can we just take a moment to appreciate how Bakugou even got so close to Deku’s room in the first place though. in this giant hospital with no idea of where to even go. does he have Deku Radar or something.)
YOU SIX ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST!! SPARE ME YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS!! MY BAKUDEKU REUNION KEEPS GETTING POSTPONED WEEK AFTER WEEK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES WHERE IS YOUR CONCEPT OF MERCY
(ETA: btw just to be clear, I’m not actually angry lol; it makes total sense that they don’t want this rampaging feral toddler who was still in his own coma all of fifteen minutes ago to come and start screaming at the other coma child until he tears all his stitches out. if there’s anything we Bakugou fans should be familiar with by now, it’s being patient.)
also, Tsuyu wrapping her tongue around Bakugou’s still-healing torso wound absolutely can’t be hygienic at all. also wait is that Inko??
(ETA: pretty sure it is her. she got all of one line smdh.)
Iida is all “thank god Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight pulled through, I thought for sure he was a goner back there”
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for the record this is actually really sweet to see how relieved he is. he’s one of the few people who saw the original injury close up, back when he was still at the battlefield and unconscious, so I imagine it really did freak him out quite a bit
JIROUUUUUU
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“sometimes I just like to stand here and tug on my imaginary suspenders, what of it”
how come you guys get to loiter around Deku’s room but Kacchan doesn’t. god fucking dammit. AND WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN
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I BET KACCHAN COULD WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS COMA WITH THE POWER OF RIVAL INTENSITY!! BUT NOOOOOOOO, [is dragged away back to my fort]
OH MY GOD!?!
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"this seems to be an entirely normal and above-board situation that we have just stumbled onto”
I see Jeanist comes from the Iida Tenya school of respectfully using people’s full names
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Jeanist becoming one of the main characters is the best thing to ever happen to this series
EXCUSE YOU, IIDA
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BUT I’M SURE HE’D MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR KACCHAN THOUGH!! [elbowing my way back out of the fort] HAWKS, PLEASE --
DON’T GO ALL OMINIOUSLY PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER ALL ON YOUR OWN GODDAMMIT
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“there’s absolutely no way this angry wriggling shoulder burrito kid here could answer literally all of my questions, so I’ll just ignore him”
OH MY GOD WE’RE FINALLY CUTTING BACK TO HIM BUT THE CHAPTER IS ENDING
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[jumps up, throws a folding chair at Iida and the rest of the gang, and then runs]
oh my god. actually this chapter was awesome. but I’m so fucking mad at this cliffhanger though lol
at least we got a couple of answers! and some hints and teases! poor Deku looks so worn out even though he’s asleep dlwkjl my little green baby. and is it just me or is his quirk activated?? All Might’s all “I can feel it” as if it isn’t obvious just looking at him, why are you trying to be all mysterious dude
anyway! so at least we finally have confirmation and a date for those vestige antics at long last. looking forward to meeting Mister The Fourth next week so we can finally ask him “hey dude, what the fuck”
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parrishh · 3 years
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about to write the world's longest post (a review? maybe?) because i don't know anyone else who has read mister impossible yet and if i do not write my thoughts down SOMEWHERE i will either combust or eat my own foot, probably (spoilers, obviously)
genuinely brokenhearted (and cried a lot) over ronan in this book. part of what i loved so much about cdth was the sense that ronan had at least made some progress in regards to his mental health, self-love, etc. and now we're seeing him in such a dark place again that it hurts to read. it was sad enough believing, for almost the entire book, that he was blindly idolizing bryde for this reason (declan's "ronan is a follower" speech in the cafe with carmen actually killed me), and i thought maggie was just going for the whole "unhappy people are more susceptible to cults" thing. but to find out that he MADE bryde? that he felt so alone and so hopeless that he dreamt THAT? this read like some sort of super-villain origin story. i know ronan believes he's doing the right thing, saving dreamers and dreams and all that, but at the core of it all he's really doing it because bryde told him to, and bryde only exists because ronan subconsciously hates his life so much he'll do whatever it takes to make himself a new one. that just makes me incredibly sad
uhhhhhhhh bad day for pynch stans. we didn't technically get the dreaded break up, but it feels like we did anyway. even the sweet moments (e.g. ronan's memory of adam's gloves) are immediately followed up by something sad (e.g. the memory not being enough to keep ronan from sticking with bryde) (also, fletcher tells the moderators that they're broken up, so does that mean adam told all his college friends he's single?) there are several moments in which ronan makes it very clear that he will (and does) prioritize what he's doing with bryde over his relationship with adam (hanging up on him at the end? what the fuck) and like, i'm definitely not saying his boyfriend should be the #1 most important thing in his life because that's not healthy, either, but the dude is clearly very unhappy & insecure in the relationship. i still think (hope?) that they'll get a happy ending because ronan definitely cares about adam deeply (not wanting bryde to say the word tamquam, keeping adam out of his dreamspace so he doesn't lose harvard, etc.) but things are looking pretty grim right now :/
adam loves ronan so much it makes me crazy. he could easily say "fuck this" after ronan doesn't speak to him for weeks, especially knowing that ronan's capable of reaching out because he still talks to declan and especially after being blocked from ronan's dreamspace, too. i would be pissed if i heard from my bf for the first time in weeks and found out he only called because he needed a place where he & the guy he ditched me for could crash. but adam still spends the free time i'm sure he doesn't actually have keeping tabs on ronan and reaching out to declan and pretty much doing everything in his power to help. and oh my god even after ronan hangs up on him we still see him scrying to try to get to him and i need to move on now before i scream (but first, declan lynch = #1 pynch stan??? the number of times he mentions adam when thinking about the things he wants ronan to keep safe, help me)
speaking of adam, i had to put the book down and take a lap after his first appearance. i cannot believe this boy is charging harvard kids for fake tarot readings and making hella cash off of it. KING. genuinely some fantastic adam content in this. i love that he talks to the gray man. i love that we are reminded that he's literally brilliant. but also, he makes me sad, too. when declan mentions how ronan is the ONE person who adam opens up to and how all of his harvard groupies are just "ducklings"........honey, i love you, please, please, please make some real friends
hennessy's pov also breaks my heart. it's maybe even worse to read than ronan's because she's fully aware of how unhappy she is and the bluntness of it slaps you across the face. the memory of her mom's painting was genuinely chilling (the lace pattern on the floor - was that how the Lace started? am i understanding that correctly?) and the fact that it was so dreadful she accidentally made a sweetmetal....poor hennessy :( also, the things she said to jordan, right after she made half a dozen real ass people crash their cars and didn't even bat an eye about it....yikes. i'm glad she teamed up with carmen and liliana, though. i love my team of wlw girlies (also really interesting that carmen/liliana believe the Lace is something out of hennessy's control while ronan/bryde believe it's something she can get rid of if she just tries hard enough. what the fuck is the Lace, it's driving me nuts)
CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS
jordan's pov!!!!!!! delicious, finally some good fucking food!!!!!!! i'm happy that she's starting to see herself as her own person, independent of hennessy, and the whole forgery/original work metaphor was really cool (her first original work being a portrait of declan 🥺🥺🥺) i loooooove her relationship with matthew and how she speaks to him and that they're able to connect with each other because they're both dreams. i love that she's able to make him feel more human
JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS (but i'm even more hung up on declan just casually talking about MARRIAGE, oh my GOD)
declan my beloved....my sweet......absolutely obsessed with him saying "screw politics, i'm leaning into my crime side" and OBSESSED with him being happy for once. i know the other shoe did drop and now things are all messed up again but it was so nice to see him so content, at least for a little while. he needed a break (also was laughing my ass off at all of ronan's dream creatures just climbing onto his bed in the morning and his screaming and how matthew was so used to it he BRUSHED HIS TEETH before going to help. iconic)
matthew's pov was also really upsetting but 🥺him deciding he's tired of just being treated like a pet and that he deserves to have a future so he goes to sign himself up to finish high school 🥺
quick note but the whole sweetmetal thing is really interesting as a concept. loooooved the way maggie incorporated the gardner museum heist into the story
THE ENDING???? WHY THE FUCK IS JORDAN AWAKE. WHY THE FUCK IS RONAN STILL ASLEEP. WAS ADAM STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF SCRYING WHEN THE LEY LINE DISAPPEARED, AND, IF SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR HIM. WHY ARE LITERALLY ALL THE MODERATORS DREAMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING
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Text
You’re A Winchester? - Part Two (Castiel x Winchester!Reader)
[Supernatural-Masterlist]
Part One
Summary: The case in Wisconsin got complicated. In more ways than one. Cas was not sure what happened to you but you were acting different. He had to find out why. He had to know if he did something wrong.
Words: 4,053
Warnings: language, kidnapping, angst, little bit of fluff?, Sam has the brains, angels are dicks, I feel like this could actually become a miniseries?, Do you want me to continue? I’m not sure…, (Y/E/C) = your eye color
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤
The drive to Wisconsin was slow & exhausting. Throughout the long hours, you did some more research on the case. It looked like an easy one, actually. Almost too easy for your liking. But who were you to bad talk an easy hunt? After all, you were still somewhat new to this business. Though, nobody would realize that. If they did not know, they would believe you had been hunting for your entire life.
“We’re almost there.” Cas broke the silence that had been accompanying the two of you for a while. A look out of the window & you could make out the small town you were rolling in. Almost immediately, a strange feeling washed over you. By the way Cas’ body tensed up, you knew he had a similar impression of this place.
“Cas?” you questioned. No way would this turn out to be an easy case.
“Yes, I know.” he soothed your thoughts a little. Something was off & neither you nor Cas could tell what it was. Not yet, at least. The ’78 Lincoln Continental Mark V came to a halt in the parking lot of an old-fashioned motel. Same old, same old. Back in your universe, you had never had enough money to afford an actual hotel so usually, the cheap version had to do. So, not that much had changed.
The two of you checked into a room, not bothering to get one with two beds since Castiel did not sleep anyway. The motel literally looked like every single other one across the country. Same uncomfortable bed, same ugly wallpaper, same ancient furniture. Moments like this, you missed the bunker an awful lot. Deciding to give your brothers a call, you dialed Sam’s number.
“(Y/N), hey! You already there?” Sam’s voice came through the speaker.
“Yep, it took forever.” sighing out tiredly, you plopped down onto the mattress. “I gotta say, though…something seems a little off.”
“As in…?” he inquired curiously.
“We don’t know yet.” your head was put into your hand. The traveling tired you out & you craved a few hours of rest.
“Okay. And besides that? Everything alright? It’s not…weird, is it?” it almost sounded like he was uncomfortable while asking this question.
“Should it be weird?” your eyebrows furrowed at his use of words.
“I don’t know, you tell me.” you could hear the smirk in his tone. That was when the realization kicked in.
“You’re talking about me being alone with Cas?” looking around, you were glad that the angel was still outside, grabbing your luggage.
“I might be.” Sam mumbled, then his voice got louder again. “Look, all I’m saying is take care & uh, use protection.”
“Oh my God, Sam.” shaking your head frantically, there was another sigh from you. “I’ll call when we’re done here. You’re a horrible brother, by the way.” your body was on fire. Embarrassed that now, even Sam called you out on your crush.
“I love you, too. Bye, (Y/N).” the call ended & you fell back onto the mattress. A second later, the door opened & Cas walked in. At least he missed that talk with Sam. Otherwise it would be painfully awkward between you guys.
In the morning, Cas & you went to investigate a family. They were close to the person that had been mysteriously killed & you hoped to receive a bit more background information from them. The couple seemed nice. Wealthy husband being incredibly happy with his beautiful wife. An apple pie life. Like the one Dean wanted Cas & you to have. Obviously, that would never be the case. Not when you were part of this business. Not when you were a hunter. When they offered, you thanked them for the coffee they brought you. Something that Cas could drink as well. The talk was not necessarily helpful. Nothing you had not already found out yourselves. Still, you acted politely towards them. After all, they had been very hospitable. Before leaving the house, you asked if you could use their bathroom. The man showed you the way. This family was not connected to your case, not in a way that helped you anyway. Which meant that you had to do more research. Yay. Finishing in the bathroom, you were confused when the door did not open. Like it was stuck. Rattling on the door knob a few times, you used your other hand to knock on the door. You had to bring their attention to you. But it seemed like nobody heard you. The bathroom was not that far away from the living room area so it did not make sense to you that they did not hear you in there. The lock clicked & you sighed out in content when the man who had lead you here helped you out a second time today. Your warm, thankful smile faltered when something hard hit your head. Darkness met your body after that.
Heavy eyelids opened slowly. The light blinded you & out of instinct, you squinted to avoid it. After a few more seconds, you adjusted to the light. Looking around, you found yourself inside an unfurnished room. The chair you sat on the only piece. But wait. Your wrists were tied to the armrests. Your legs strapped as well. Tightly. Painfully tight. No matter your efforts, it did not move an inch. How did you get here? Where was Cas? Looked like your assumptions about this family were wrong. Because kidnapping was not part of your plan. And you being trapped here changed your entire view of this case drastically. That strange feeling you had in this town was not for nothing. But who were you up against? No vengeful spirts, no demons, no witches. What else could it be?
“Would you look at that, the princess is awake.” the same man from earlier entered the room, a creepy smile adorning his features. It made you gulp. Your heart quickened its pace. You were skilled when it came to fighting but right now, there was not a lot of room left to move around. Which left you vulnerable.
“Aw, honey. You scared her. Can’t you see the fear in her eyes?” his wife followed, that sweet voice of hers erupting the room.
“(Y/N)…Can I call you (Y/N)?” the only response he got was a deathly glare from you. One, that made him chuckle enthusiastically. “The newest addition to the Winchesters. Leaving her universe behind to go live with her brothers.” he recapped the last months for you as if you had forgotten already. “You shouldn’t even be here.” remarking with sympathetic eyes, he walked closer to you. Kneeling down so you were on one level.
“You see…we wouldn’t care much for you. Another Winchester do deal with? Okay, fine. But there’s one thing we cannot accept.” the woman spoke up again.
“And what would that be?” sarcastically asking, looking between the pair in front of you.
“We can’t have you close to Castiel.” the kneeling man finished. Your expression turned into one of confusion. “Don’t play innocent here, sweetheart. We’re not that stupid.”
“You’re angels.” you concluded after piecing everything together. “That case in Wisconsin. It was a trap so you guys could get to me.”
“100 points for our contestant.” the woman fake cheered.
“You know, there would’ve been easier ways to catch me.”
“True but where would the fun be in that? Besides, we couldn’t have you close to those brothers of yours. Too protective over you for my liking.”
“Okay, Mister. But you do realize that Cas is here somewhere & he’ll try everyth-“
“Ah, I’ll stop you right there.” his finger lifted to shut you up. “You cannot reach him here. It’s…how do I say it? Castiel safe.”
“What do you want from me then? You wanna kill me?” though it was hard, you tried to hide how scared you truly were right now.
“I know you’re smarter than that, (Y/N). If we wanted you dead, we would’ve killed you already. Castiel would be after us if we did. We simply wanted to warn you. Stay close to him & you’ll regret it.” his threat was intimidating.
“How do you define close?” it was a legitimate question.
“You know what we mean…This room will be Castiel safe for a bit longer. After that, you can pray to him & he’ll hear you. If I were you, I’d think of a good excuse in the meantime. Don’t forget…one wrong move & we’ll be back. Goodbye, (Y/N).” & with that, the two of them left you alone. They did not tell you when it was possible to send out a prayer. They did not tell you where you were exactly. All you knew was that they were serious. And you should not mess with them. When Dean had told you that angels were dicks, you did not think that was what he was warning you about. Their condition was simple. You should stay away from Cas or you would regret it. And you assumed that these angels were a lot stronger than you could handle. You did not want to die & neither did you want to risk Cas’ well-being. Immediately, you started prayer after prayer. He had to hear it sooner or later. All you could do now was try.
It felt like days passed. Hundreds, thousands of prayers later & still no sight of Cas. Maybe that was your end. All those years of unsuccessful searching for your family only for you to end up in another universe. Reunited with your brothers. And that was how you would go? Not what you imagined your life to be if you were completely honest. You were close to passing out. No food, no water, nothing. Your body was weak. You were weak. By now, every last ounce of hope had vanished.
“(Y/N)?” the last thing you saw before falling unconscious was Cas running to you.
Castiel had finally heard you. Begging for him to help you. To rescue you. No time was wasted. He found you soon after, shocked by the state you were in. Three days ago, he left you out of his sight. He had not stopped looking for you but it seemed useless. Until a small, broken voice appeared inside his head. Yours. Desperate words reached him. He knew he had to act fast. How he had lost you? No idea. Everything went so fast. Before he knew it, you were gone. Of course this family hid more than they let on. The second he found you, a weight got lifted off of his shoulders. No way could he bear losing you so shortly after you got closer. Immediately, he went to heal you. No bad wounds were adorning your body. Just your weakness was present. Yet, you could not stay awake any longer. Cas did not know how long you had been in there but from your exhaustion, he assumed just as long as he had searched for you. Freeing you of the ropes that were holding you to the chair, he picked you up bridal style. Teleporting to your motel room where he laid you on the bed gently. Looked like you were not planning on waking up anytime soon. So Cas packed all of your stuff & got his car ready. He no longer cared about this case. All he cared about was you being safe. And the bunker was the best safety you could get. He could deal with this hunt later.
Sam & Dean had no idea about your state, they thought the two of you were still in Wisconsin. Wrong. And they started worrying like crazy the moment Cas entered the bunker with you in his arms, unconscious. Question after question was thrown at Castiel who seemed to ignore his surroundings entirely. He just wanted to get you to your bed. The entire drive was spent asleep & he knew you would be like that for a while.
Sore. Your body felt sore. Like you had not moved in ages. Like the smallest movement took too much strength. Strength you could not muster right now. A familiar smell filled your nostrils. The sheets welcoming you. These were no motel sheets. No. You were home. How did you make it back? You definitely were not in Wisconsin anymore. Wait a second. There were no angels to hold you hostage anymore. Had Cas heard your prayers? Seemed like it. You could yell for him, for your brothers, but no words came out as soon as you opened your mouth. The hours of sleep you got did not change the fact that you were incredibly tired. Exhausted. Groaning, you stood up from the comfort of your bed. If nobody was here with you right now, then you had to take matters into your own hands. A glass of water. Something. You needed something. Your body made this task unnecessarily hard, though. One step after the other. Small, slow steps & you would reach the kitchen not long after. You got this.
Your walk to the kitchen was cut short when Sam saw you walking unsteadily. Running over to you, he picked you up a second later & brought you to the main area in the bunker.
“(Y/N). Why didn’t you yell for us?” the concern was audible.
“My voice.” creaking out, Sam’s eyes widened in realization. He left only to return a second later with a glass of water in hand. Gladly, you took it from him & enjoyed the cold liquid soothing your throat. Downing the glass, you handed it back to him. In this moment, Dean & Cas entered the room. Noticing you were awake, the two of them jogged over to you.
“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” Cas cupped your cheeks, caressing your soft skin with his thumbs. How you wanted to enjoy this moment. How you wanted it to never end. But your conversation with those angels came into your mind again. You leaned back, out of Cas’ reach. Eyes training down, you hoped nobody would question you.
“Um, yeah…I’m okay now. Just a little sore.” three pairs of eyes bore into you. They knew something was off. Dean was the first one to speak up.
“What happened?” sighing loudly at his question, you knew you had to improvise now.
“I didn’t do enough research. The case wasn’t as easy as we first thought it to be. The couple Cas & I were investigating? Witches. It was my fault they caught me, really. I should’ve been more careful.” after finishing, you risked a look at the three men in front of you. Did not look like they bought your little lie.
“There were no hints of witches there. We would’ve noticed.” Cas argued & you rolled your eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Were you the one they kidnapped?” snapping at him, your voice was sharp. It was not your intention to sound so rude but everything overwhelmed you. Jumping up a second later, you ran back to your room, leaving them behind dumbfounded.
A soft knock was on your door. Maybe if you kept quiet they would leave you alone. Today was not your lucky day, apparently. Dean opened the door slowly, peaking his head inside to make sure you were not sleeping.
“What do you want, Dean?” you sat on your bed, back pressed against the headboard.
“Something’s wrong.” he noted, approaching you.
“I guess being kidnapped does that to you.”
“Cut the crap, (Y/N).” his voice raised slightly, immediately shutting you down. Your head hung low. “What’s wrong?” now, much softer, he took a seat on the edge of your bed.
“Nothing, Dean.” sighing out, your head was thrown back, eyes closed in frustration.
“I think I know you well enough to notice when you’re lying.” & he was right. There was not a lot of things you could keep from him. Sam did not always tell when you lied to him but Dean could see right through you. “So, let’s do this again…What’s wrong?” his sincere eyes locked onto yours & that was when you knew you could not keep this from him. Not all of it.
“Cas kissed me.” Dean’s eyes widened at your statement. It took you two long enough. But when he saw your features change, he could tell that something about this was bothering you.
“But?” his question followed up.
“But it didn’t do anything with me.” your own words broke your heart but you could not risk it. Could not risk Cas’ safety. “The witches I could handle. Well…you know what I mean. They didn’t hurt me, just trapped me.” fiddling with your hands in your lap.
“What are you trying to say? You don’t like Cas?” Dean was confused. More than once had you let on that you liked the angel & when he talked to Cas about all of this, then he found out that he liked you, too.
“No. I do. Just not how I thought I would.” quieting down, you were done with the conversation for now. “I’m tired, Dean. I’ll join you guys later today, alright?” Dean nodded, stood up & left your room without another word. Though, his mind was running. Something about this entire situation felt wrong. Right now, he could not tell why. But he was sure he would find out sooner or later.
“Cas, man. What the hell did you do?” Dean was livid. For months, you had had eyes for the angel. And now, you told him he kissed you & you did not feel anything? What was going on?
“What?” Castiel was confused. Confused by Dean’s angry tone & by his accusation. Did he do something?
“You & (Y/N).” he pointed out.
“What about us?”
“Seriously? So I have to watch you guys dancing around your feelings for months only for her to tell me that when you kissed her it didn’t do anything with her?” his eyebrows raised, clearly waiting for an explanation. Cas, on the other hand, did not understand a single thing.
“She said that?” the angel’s voice was barely above a whisper. You kissed him back. Before you drove to Wisconsin, it was you who kissed him the second time.
“Yes. So you owe me an explanation before I kick your ass.” there it was. Dean’s protective side. He did not think, when you first came into their universe, that he would care for you on such a deep level. But here he was. And he could tell that Cas broke something in you.
“Dean, nothing happened. I kissed her, yes. But she kissed me, too. I thought we were fine until she woke up & didn’t want me to touch her.” it did not make sense to him. Was all of it a lie? Were you just playing around? He did not think you to be that kind of person. Whatever he did, he had to make it right before it was too late.
Later that day, you risked leaving your room once again. Hopefully, you would not come across anyone. You still had to greet Jack but that could wait. For now, you just wanted a little something to eat. It had been a while since you had your last meal & your stomach was rumbling with protest. Cas’ silhouette was in front of you. Shit, you really were not in the mood to interact with him. Yes, it hurt to know that whatever the two of you started the other day could never be. Before you could turn around & leave again, Castiel faced you. The hurt in his face was present & the guilt set in. He was like that because of you. You were the reason for his pain. And this thought itself hurt you more than anything. His feet dragged him over to you. A little step back from you made him stop. Apparently, you did not want to have him close.
“(Y/N)?” his tone brought tears to your eyes. But you would not let them fall. You could not. “Talk to me, please.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” you were being cold towards him which was uncommon. It was not in your nature to act like that. You were the sweetest soul Cas had ever met. Whoever was standing in front of him right now was not you.
“What did I do?” his concerned eyes locked onto your (Y/E/C) ones.
“You didn’t do anything, Cas. Believe me, please.” your plea was almost inaudible. No longer could you bare looking at him. You would break down in tears.
“Something changed you when you were trapped.”
“Cas, can we not do this right now?” closing your eyes briefly, you let out a sigh to calm yourself down. Leaving him no time for a response, you left the room again. Still no food inside of you. But you lost your appetite anyway.
The next morning, when you made your way back to the kitchen area again, you were glad when you were only met with Sam. His warm smile was welcoming. Something that let you feel at ease.
“Good morning. Coffee?” he offered you a cup & you gladly accepted. “I made pancakes. Are you hungry?”
“Starving.” chuckling when your stomach grumbled. Sam handed you a plate & you sat down, quietly munching on your breakfast. At least he did not ask you about the case.
“What do they hold against you?” Sam asked after a few moments of silence.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I did my own research on your case. No witches whatsoever. Though, it was a good excuse, I gotta admit.” your eyes widened. Shit, if he found out what went down then he sure as hell would tell everyone. “Everything leads to angels. They didn’t hurt you. But they told you something. So…what are they holding against you?”
“Sam.” you sighed loudly. “You have to keep it a secret. Please.” staring at the tall man sitting opposite of you, you saw a sympathetic smile on his face.
“(Y/N)…”
“Okay, you wanna know what happened? Those angels threatened me. Said if I stay this close to Cas, I’d regret it. That they’d come after me or Cas. No way in hell will I let this happen.” due to your rambling, you did not notice Cas entering the room. Only when Sam coughed did you look around. What was it with him overhearing conversations?
“(Y/N).” like the night before, Cas approached you carefully. This time, you did not move away from him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m scared.” you admitted quietly. While you were a great hunter, you were not sure if you could handle fighting against angels.
“Sam & Dean are your brothers. Jack is the strongest being I’ve ever met & you’ve got me.”
“Yeah, but you weren’t there, Cas. We really shouldn’t mess with them.”
“And you thought it was a good idea to ignore Cas?” Sam chimed in. Right, you had almost forgotten that he was still there. Casting your eyes down in embarrassment, you suddenly felt an arm wrap around your shoulders. It was Cas.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, (Y/N). I promise.” he put a soft kiss on top of your head. You knew that. Castiel would do anything to keep you safe. But those angels scared you so much. You could not live with it if you were the reason of Cas getting hurt. Or worse. Looking up again, you noticed that Sam had left the room during your little interaction. Cas’ hands cupped your cheeks. Barely. Scared that you would not want to be touched by him. You did not move, though. No, you leaned into his touch. Closing your eyes to fully enjoy this intimate moment with him. His lips pressed against yours. Softly, as if your were fragile. When the two of you moved in sync, every little ounce of uncertainty washed away. You knew you could not stay away from him. But at the same time, you knew they would come after you now. This kiss would change everything. Whatever was awaiting you, it could not be good. But maybe, just maybe, if you went ahead & dealt with this together, nobody would get hurt.
~to be continued? (idk just yet)~
Published (03/31/2021) by Cathy
Tags: @vicmc624, @ayamenimthiriel, @teelagurl558, @babymango-writes, @hollymac79, @longinusfilibuster, @insanebot109, @down-down-inanulearan (thanks for your support <3)
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
Text
Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Intense Years)
Tony Stark x daughter!reader
warnings:
a/n: y/n is 16-17, also ive really never written anything about team iron man so this was weird, someone needs to tell me i dont need every single movie detail in here
prompt: takes place from cacw and smhc
The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)
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after the events in sokovia, you set up the relief fund for displaced sokovians and dealt with physical clean up while the avengers...
well, they had to deal with the press—and the governments of the world
getting to know your new suit AI, JOSHUA
briefly looking for bruce; no luck there
you ended up doing the MIT september foundation presentation with tony
and ending the presentation after pepper’s name popped up on the screen
“it’s probably best we get out of here”
you were his entire support system while he was going through his break with pepper
meeting charles spencer’s mother, who really gave your dad a piece of her mind
“my son died, but your daughter gets to live on. if you lost her, maybe you’d show some sympathy for murdering my child”
*awkward silence from you*
*awkward silence from tony otw to the compound*
HATING the sound of the sokovia accords, yet understanding why they’re being ratified
being torn between signing them or not and having a huge argument with the other avengers
“y/n, why dont you listen to your dad for once and sign the damn thing”
“uncle rhodey, you know why i dont want to sign. if they have us, they have access to our suits. you really think the UN should be telling us how to use them?”
“your defense doesn’t even make sense. i had the war machine or iron patriot or whatever the hell you want to call it, but the military was calling the shots”
“and look where you are now”
“right, well i wouldn’t expect a kid to understand”
“are you kidding me, rhodes? you’re gonna play the ‘im older than you’ card?”
comforting wanda while she feared being taken
and as soon as you heard about what happened in lagos
“think about it, maximoff. if you didnt do what you did, do you know how many more casualties there may have been?”
“but i killed innocents”
“no, rumlow killed innocents. you contained that blast better than anyone else could have and you prevented a whole bunch of deaths, give yourself some credit”
okay, so you weren’t the best at talking someone down while they were upset
staying in berlin with your father while the whole bucky thing began to get sorted out
but he sent you out to stay with nat while he had some “private time” with steve
tony keeping you close to him during the power outage at the base
until it turned out you brought your suit and tony did not!
everyone was looking at you to take down bucky, but it just seemed like a bad idea, you didn’t want to hurt him because you didn’t want to hurt steve
stalling to try and buy steve time to subdue his friend
“y/n, come on, for christ sake!”
“got it, dad! i know what im doing!”
“i dont think you do!”
feeling your stomach drop when bucky shot into your dad’s hand, if it wasn’t for his latest invention, he may have gotten seriously hurt
you had a slight change of heart after that, you couldn’t bare to lose your dad. not after all those close calls...
getting yelled at by secretary ross and the wonderful 36 hour ultimatum you, nat, and tony received
“i have a plan”
“don’t say the spider boy”
“fine, i wont say it”
a nice trip to queens :)
when this parker kid finally got home, tony left you to socialize with his aunt
small talk is sometimes unbearable
“so, what’s it like being tony stark’s daughter?”
“honestly? im always tired”
peter becoming a tagalong on your mission, which you didn’t really think was appropriate
“dad, i dont really think we should’ve brought the kid...”
“why? you’re about the same age as him, its not much different”
“um...no, i meant this isnt his battle. i don’t care how old he is”
face off between tony and cap where you literally just swallowed all your pride and apologized because you couldn’t handle the fact that the team was being ripped apart like this
team ups with Spider-Man
“so, uh, do you hate me or something?”
“hey, kid? we’re kind of in the middle of something, i’ll get back to you on that”
“it’s a yes or no question, y/n”
“pass”
so, things didn’t exactly go as planned...
your (former) teammates were taken to the RAFT and you couldn’t pull it together in front of them
they were pretty pissed at you
“im sorry, im so sorry, i should’ve done better”
they ignored you (up until scott lang)
“all you stark’s are the same”
“stay out of this, bugboy”
taking to the remote hydra base in another famous father/daughter teamup
“just like the old days, right kiddo?”
“i guess so”
“hey, cheer up, it’s not all that bad”
waltzing right in there to meet your friend and foe
seeing the video of your grandparents dying
*being killed
absolutely stunned by seeing such a gruesome thing
even after all you’ve seen, this really got to you
you were robbed of ever meeting them, which made you angry, but you couldn’t stay angry because there were so many things out of everyones control
realizing that this was a good time to hold tony back
“JOSHUA, lock down y/n’s suit. protocol: baby gate”
apparently your dad still had some old protocols in your suit that you hadn’t found yet
“JOSHUA? reboot! override protocol: baby gate”
“i’m sorry, miss y/n, but i cannot do that”
watching your father attempt to get revenge
and get critically injured
simultaneously working on opening the suit back up for a bad plan
finally getting the emergency release and stumbling out of your suit, rushing towards the conflict and throwing yourself in the middle of it
“please, dad. enough damage has been done.”
“y/n, get out of the way”
he saw you shaking and crying and he realized what he was doing
attacking the only family you guys really had
getting shoved out of the way so that they could end this fight once and for all
JOSHUA finally rebooting and bringing the suit over to shield you while you helplessly watched the end of this fight
when bucky and steve left, your suit disarmed and you crouched down beside your father
“come on, let’s just go home”
“im sorry”
“i know, it’s okay”
trying to comfort your dad after his defeat
you picked up cap’s shield and returned to your suit, it was time to go home
after a brief time of recovery (while you helped work on uncle rhodey’s prototype prosthetics), there was a slight change of plans for you
“okay, so for your punishment after what you pulled during my...divorce with cap, you’re going to babysit the spiderling so you gain some perspective”
“hold on, what?! what do you mean ‘perspective?’”
“i mean you dont know what it’s like to be in charge of the life of a teenager, so now you get to find out! congratulations on your promotion!”
it was not fun at all because peter kept blowing up your phone and you kept having to tell him there was nothing for him to do
Y/N: I’ll let you know when there’s a spider-level threat, kapeesh?
P. Parker: Yes, ma’am, sorry.
peter going behind your back to do some “superhero work”
and you having to swoop in to fix everything last second
“come on, you stole my thunder, y/n!”
“no, peter, i saved your life. next time you have a lead, call me first”
and then he didn’t 😌✨💕
“Y/N, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”
“put him through, JOSHIE...hey dad, how’s dubai?”
“taking care of a kid is harder than it looks, isn’t it?”
“don’t start with me”
damage control ahahah 🤡
“peter, why cant you just call me in? you don’t stop texting me for months but for this you go radio silent? you almost died. and you put a bunch of lives in danger! do you want me to have to go to your aunt and tell her you died?”
“im sorry! i just...i dont want to be a sidekick”
“kid, you’re gonna have a long time to make a name for yourself...but not if you’re dead!”
he started crying and you were very uncomfortable so you tried to hug him? it helped.
letting him off easy (just like your dad did to you growing up)
but apparently tony came back and took the suit anyways and you were pretty pissed about it
avengers moving day :) yes, part of your punishment was helping happy with moving day and hearing him gush about how you were “growing into such a responsible adult”
“happy i dont know if you noticed but ive basically been an adult since i was 12”
“keep telling yourself that, kiddo”
seeing an explosion and immediately knowing it was peter
“i’ll see you later, happy, love you!”
investigating the crash site and whaddaya know, there’s peter and his first bad guy, you were kind of proud
“peter, you okay?”
“nope!”
“okay, cool”
more damage control lmao (a/n: yall sick of damage control yet?)
a congratulatory call from your dad
“hey! you did pretty good, all things considered. why don’t you take the kid to the avengers compound for his special surprise?”
“aye aye, see you soon.”
“love you, kiddo”
“you too, dad”
quick fast forward to peter rejecting the position as an avenger while the press was outside, yes, you were surprised
but then your dad finally proposed to pepper, it was a pretty cool engagement announcement
“y/n, will you be my maid of honor?”
“duh!”
happily ever after (a/n: until the next part is up)
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poguesgold · 3 years
Note
how did you feel about season? i know most people liked it better than season 1 but i’m not sure how i feel yet🤔 might need to rewatch it
okay this ended up soooo long so i'm giving a tl;dr review here and if anyone cares to read my insanely long thought dump you can feel free. this part is spoiler free also!!
cons: i think they should have further developed the s1 storyline rather than conjuring up an entirely new treasure and conflict; i don't think they did the characters justice a lot of the time, particularly kie and jj; too much yelling and running not enough hanging out; the finale cliff hanger was a stupid writing choice
pros: cleo!!; pope-centric plotline!!!; amazing jjpope moments in the improv sequences; never a boring moment; rafebarry oh my god????; neck kiss shirtless wrestling holding hands standing unnecessarily close jjpope rot; just a straight up nine hour long adrenaline rush and i love that shit.
overall: i definitely did not like it more than s1, but i still REALLY loved it. i think it's worth the watch, just don't go into it expecting good writing or realistic injuries or a comprehensive plot LMFAO. what saves the season is the pogues' chemistry and their improv sequences, for real. and cleo. you WILL get angry about the shitty script and characterization if you’re really invested in that part of things, but as far as vibes and dopamine high it was awesome. it was a fun watch and i'll definitely rewatch at least once to soak it in properly
please this is going to be soooo long i apologize in advance. but i have a lot of thoughts. also ⚠️⚠️spoilers ahead!!⚠️⚠️
most of this review is going to be criticisms tbh so sorry for that but this show kinda sucks (affectionately<3)
i thought season 2 was an absolute TRAINWRECK as far as writing goes. jonas pate was basically like. this season we're going to have an even BIGGER and BETTER treasure!!! but the exact same thing is going to happen. like. we already had gold. and that's what they were going to the bahamas for at the end of season 1 for anyway????? it would have been so easy to just develop the original storyline further, i just cannot figure out why they would completely abandon it for another mediocre storyline. (i LOVED that this other mediocre storyline was pope-centric and the main character energy he was given this season. but. they. could have done that?? with the first storyline?????)
i hate that they brought big john back so so much. SO much. literally it was the stupidest most idiotic lazy cheesy plot choice in the world. it doesn't make sense, we like saw his literal bones at one point like his lifeless corpse, and WHY would they bring back a key character from the PREVIOUS ARC when they created an ENTIRELY NEW CONFLICT AND PLOTLINE FOR THIS SEASON???? jonas pate stuck it in for shock value and cliff hanger in hopes of securing a season 3, and i hate him for it. he's such a terrible writer white men have it so easy
someone in the neck kiss truthers discord earlier pointed out that jb's dead father returning after like a year and a half of thinking he was dead would probably be more traumatic that healing at this point, and i agree so much. also, you know that they're not going to use it for good either way. they're going to use his dad coming back as a way to further traumatize him somehow because obx writers are jombeephobic. and i wouldn't put it past them to bring him back just to kill him off again. jonas pate wants to write john b torture porn and i am TIRED of it
my least favorite thing about season 2 was the characterization. they really did just disregard the characters they created in season 1. kie was completely ooc for like three episodes, and it wasn't because she was mourning. it was just shitty writing. she had no character outside of her relationships this season, which has been my fear from the very beginning and why i have never wanted kie with any of the pogues. season 2 diminished her character to the female love interest, and that just sucked so bad for her.
whether you're a jjpope or not, season 2 completely changed their friendship dynamic. the only time we got glimpses of the season 1 jjpope dynamic was in the improv sequences when rudy and jd took it upon themselves. also during their hugs LMFAO. which is also an acting choice. the writing completely disregarded their friendship and dynamic. it was weird as fuck it was all weird. i also hated that kie and sarah's scripted interactions were just them talking about boys. another case of friendships again being completely disregarded for the cishet relationships. 
i just really feel like all of the characters were handled poorly this season, which is crazy because literally ALL we asked for was backstory and character development and pogue screentime. but jonas pate instead decided to write ten episodes of nonstop running and yelling and fuckinf adrenaline, with an ooc script. for funsies
i feel like the magic of season 1 was lost. the vibe of season 1 that makes it so comforting and rewatchable and lovely is sort of just lost in all the silly plot. we see snatches of it here and there, but they feel crammed between unnecessary action scenes and stunts and shouting when we would have been happy with ten episodes of the pogues hanging out in each other's bedrooms.
NOW IM GOING TO TALK THINGS I LIKED OKAY OKAY
i seriously DID love watching it. we pulled an all nighter in the neck truthers discord and binged the entire season and the adrenaline of that kept me going for the rest of the week. it was literally fucking insane absolutely batshit and i LOVED it. the writing was horrible but like. it's obx we know it isn't good LMFAOO. it's part of the charm
i definitely don't like it more than s1, but i did still like it a lot. i LOVED how pope centric it was, like he fr had such main character energy this season and it was wonderful. even though the storyline was weird and didn't make sense jd did so well lolol he did so wonderfully. i loved seeing pope get the attention he deserves this season.
JJPOPE MOMENTS. i was definitely sad they didn't have an arc to themselves like they did season 1, but oh my god jd and rudy FED US with jjpope improv moments this season. the NECK KISS? the WRESTLING? every single one of their hugs?????? they're insane. it sucked that they really didn't have any scenes alone but we take what we can get.
SPEAKING OF GAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT RAFEBARRY. because?? oh my god??? first season it was like a crack ship and then season 2 came out and... what are we supposed to do ignore it? they are literally??? gay????? it's jarring they're insane. i am so so invested in them it's kind of unreal how deep i got into this ship in such a short amount of time (follow @rafebarry babies <33)
cleo. i love cleo. the best new thing to come out of this season for sure. clarah is coming strong i can feel it and i am SO ready. i know that they're most likely going to move toward a cleopope romance next season, which i don't hate? i'm bothered only because a) it's obvious it's mostly being done to get pope out of the way for jiara, and b) i think people often push two dark-skinned characters into a ship just because they're both dark-skinned, and that yucks me out. but i will say i really liked their moments together in s2 and i think they could be really good together if they're canon s3 (which they probably will be.)
overall like. it was a fun watch. i retained like 2% of the plot i was just there for the vibes and dopamine high and that was totally fine. i want to take the pogues out of jonas pate’s greedy little white man fingers and give them the character and relationship development they deserve, but we can’t have it all i guess. the cinematography this season i think i liked better than season 1, wasn’t a huge fan of that weird yellow filter tho. also the lighting. obx lighting guys get demoted challenge. umm yeah season 1 supremacy but season 2 had amazing vibes
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chalkrevelations · 3 years
Text
Episode 32 of Word of Honor, and once again, this is just. A LOT. A LOT is happening, and all of it is A LOT. Also, show, what is even happening? I have questions. A LOT of questions.
(Spoilers. Go ahead and scroll on by, then come back later, if you want to watch it unspoiled.)
BUT FIRST, before anything else, you know I have to yell about this for a minute because we once again see that the Gu Xiang/Cao Weining relationship and the Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou relationship are the same relationship. We get the same scene with A-Xiang and Cao Weining – again – that we’ve already seen with Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu, this time from Ep 27, with Fan Shishu in the role of Ye Baiyi. Fan Shishu (YBY) asks “Do you know who she (he) is?” and this time, Cao Weining knows, just as ZZS knew in Ep 27. Cao Weining (ZZS) literally throws himself in front of A-Xiang (WKX) to protect her (him). “Kill us both” (Ep 27). “If you’re going to hurt her, kill me first” (Ep 32). Fan Shishu, like YBY, eventually lets A-Xiang and Cao Weining go, despite having them in a position where he could do them in. Color palettes between the two couples in these scenes match again, with the younger couple being more intense this time – A-Xiang and Wen Kexing in pinks, Cao Weining and Zhou Zishu in blue. (ZZS is mainly in creams and grey, but the piping on his robes is a very light blue, I think the greys have a blue undertone to them, and when you stand him next to Chengling in more intense blue while he’s wearing that particular outfit, it really starts to pull out the blue of ZZS’s outside robe – you can see this at the end of Ep 26.) Between the way these relationships continue to mirror each other and the hairpin scene from the last ep, I honestly don’t know what our takeaway is supposed to be, other than that WKX and ZZS are essentially married.
I also find it interesting - although this almost seems like too much of a stretch to be anything other than coincidence - that we get a specific callback to Ep 27 in this episode, as Ep 27 is also when WKX talks about not wanting to lie to Chengling about who he is anymore, and this ep is when they finally (apparently) meet again after Chengling learns the truth.
Aaaand now A-Xiang is crying, so of course I’m crying. Aaaand then we have the mournful montage. Give me a minute. And some tissues. I notice how much of this mournful drunken montage is ZZS remembering all the times he was cranky with WKX. Oh, honey. No. That’s what you’re remembering, because you feel bad, but it’s not what he would remember at all, if he was looking back over his time with you. And even if he did, it would be with great fondness.
Yeah, so, if I haven’t mentioned, this episode is a LOT. We get a big confrontation between WKX and half the jianghu/the Scorpions/some of the Ghost Valley contingent, ZZS showing up to support his man, Fantastic Cranky Grandpa of my heart getting in his eleven cents, Chengling shooting one of his dads, and two yeets off a cliff. And that’s only 15 minutes into the episode. This is too much, show. And I have too many questions. Also some observations. Also some wild speculation, not just about the fact that Wen Kexing is not dead but also about how he may have (not) got that way. And not just because there’s still four episodes left, and it’s too early for him to be dead.
First a small observation but pretty significant, I think: WKX is NOT in his blood-red Ghost Valley master robes during this confrontation. In fact, I think we’ve seen this set of robes in happier days with Zhou Zishou and Chengling. Just noticing this. Also noticing WKX’s face when Shen Shen starts going on about WKX’s parents and how omg if they could see WKX now they’d die all over from the shame, and WKX’S expression is like, the fucking audacity of Shen Shen saying this, and if he could actually kill people with the power of his mind, Shen Shen would be twitching and frothing on the ground. Also noticing the complete change when WKX sees Chengling – it’s like Shen Shen ceases to even exist for him. Gong Jun, your face, it’s killing me. Anyway, I’m going to start wildly speculating here for a minute, because WKX is willing to let Chengling kill him, because he’s so tired and wants to stop fighting, but he’s going to kick everyone else’s ass who even tries it? And then Chengling is actually the one who shoots him and yeets him off the cliff? Is this a set up? Is Chengling in on this? Is he the one who’s supposed to “kill” WKX? If so, at what point did we get Chengling in on this? And who did it? Did Chengling send what’s his name, Jing Beiyuan’s guard, away on purpose at this particular point, because he knew ZZS would show up in time for this confrontation if he heard about Chengling’s reaction to the news about WKX? And do I actually believe Chengling is smart enough – and a good enough actor – to pull off any of this? (Look, I love our little goldbean plenty, but let’s face it, he’s not the brightest kid running around here.)
Also, my dudes. My clever little killers. Xie Wang and Wen Kexing. I am unwilling to believe that you two aren’t somehow still together on this in some way in order to fuck over Awful Yifu. Your antagonistic back and forth seems a little bit like playing roles. Xie Wang gives Awful Yifu a weird side-eye a few times when Awful Yifu talks about how tricksy and cunning WKX is, like maybe he’s reconsidering, and do not tell me you’re questioning and reconsidering whatever deal you’ve made with WKX, little gambler. Why does your Awful Yifu’s bs always work on you? This is really not the time to roll the dice again. I’m assuming A-Xiang is still the only one who knows about their tete-a-tete? If so, this is a side-take I never would have expected on “you don’t fail me, and I won’t fail you.” Honor among thieves? Stick to the plan, Xie’er, whatever the hell it is. Do not blink.
So then, Ye Baiyi shows up, and my immediate reaction is NO. My beloved cranky grandpa, don’t fuck this up, because whatever is going on seems to already have a lot of moving parts with a lot of places for things to go wrong! But … are you in on it, too? Have YOU coordinated with Chengling? (If so, maybe you should have warned him to expect ZZS’s wild-card self-yeet over the cliff’s edge, since you’ve already seen how self-destructive self-sacrificing these two can get over each other.) Making me even more suspicious, Ye Baiyi later proceeds to walk out of a banquet before even eating anything. This guy is walking away from food? There is no clearer sign in this ep that something is up.
Also, while we’re on the banquets, listen. I cannot be the only one who wants to punch Zhao Jing in the face during his interminable yapping during both post-fight banquets. This is one of those places where the show and the actor have done their job too well, because he is so dislikeable and so off-putting that I almost can’t bear to actually watch him. And yet, I can’t fast-forward, because what if I miss some info? Like the fact that … you know, I went back to watch this bit three times, and that is a very … interesting series of camera shots during the second banquet - after the toasts, just as a couple of randoms start advocating for Zhao Jing as head of the Five Lakes Alliance, and we move from Xie’er to Shen Shen to Chengling, all of them still standing, facing Zhao Jing after their individual toasts, all of them in a formation that’s almost caging him in from the front and both sides. It gets more interesting every time I watch it. Is … is Shen Shen also in on this, somehow?
See, I know that is a lot of wild speculation. I know Wen Kexing got yeeted off a cliff, and Ye Baiyi was busy catching Zhou Zishu. And we saw a body. And ZZS set that body on fire. But I also know that Liu Qianqiao was the person holding vigil outside the shed where the body was being held. And I know she’s the other person, besides ZZS, who we know of that knows the facemask disguise technique (in fact, didn’t she learn it from ZZS’s shifu?) We actually get reminded of this later on in this very episode. Which makes me wonder if that was actually WKX’s body, or somebody else, in the shed. Who “found” that body and recovered it? Was it a Scorpion or one of the Ghost Valley contingent? Also, where’s that key WKX was waving around, and why does no one seem to remember it?
 Other things:
lol at A-Xiang’s reaction to Jing Beiyun talking about how ZZS used to ask him to set ZZS up with girls. Further lol at Jing Beiyuan, “And funny enough, he was NEVER interested in them. Welp, time for another drink!” Seriously, Qi Ye, we like you, you can absolutely stay.
Still at the banquets, Xie Wang seems discombobulated during a lot of this. And then when Awful Yifu calls him Zhao Xie’er in front of everybody, holy shit, he’s getting everything he ever wanted. Xie’er, you … you’re not going to fall for this again, are you? Please tell me you are not falling for this again, at what is likely a crucial moment. This is NO TIME to take another roll of the dice, little gambler. Stick with the plan, whatever the hell it is.
Oh, hey! Are we finally getting some backstory on Fantastic Cranky Grandpa? Oh. OH. “Our child?” What is up, my friend? (I did go back to Ep 16, when WKX calls Chengling “my child” while defending him against Ye Baiyi, and looking at the Mandarin subtitles, I can’t entirely figure out (with my Level 2 Duolingo Mandarin) all of the nuances of these two references, but it doesn’t look like they’re using the same words to describe these relationships.) So some further wild speculation: Apparently, Cranky Grandpa Fantastico is solitary drinking in the dark instead of feasting at the banquet, over someone who (he feels) foolishly wanted to save the lost souls in the Ghost Valley? And now he feels like fate is making fun of him? And he’s asking Dead Beloved what he would do in Ye Baiyi’s position? Ye Baiyi, is it possible that fate is making fun of you because you have found yourself in the position of saving a lost soul from the Ghost Valley? Also, Ye Baiyi, I’ve noticed the children have been turning you grey. I don’t think you had that grey streak when you showed up for the first Hero’s Conference, did you? In fact, I feel like you got offended when WKX talked shit about possible grey hairs on your head. 
Duan Pengju, this asshole, omg … OMG. Well. I guess you got your confirmation, Xie’er. Were you really considering rolling the dice again? AT THIS POINT?
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boop-le-snoot · 4 years
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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 9
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As promised, two chapters in one day! HBD to this trash rabbit. I just get thirstier with age.
Rating: Explicit.
‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. DRUG USE IN THIS CHAPTER. Just generally an uncomfortable vibe, thread carefully.
Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!
A/N: Ooh, boy. This is a whole mess. Angst. [insert drugs owl meme]. Steve doesn't pass the vibe check yet again, stupid old man. Bruce + Tony be like: I CAN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL.
My beta, whomst I love more than cake - @miscmarvelwritings . She's so beautiful though. And so smart. Wow.
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The strobe lights pulsated to the rhythm of the music, bodies swaying, gyrating to the tune. The club was banging this time of night, people were living it up like there was no tomorrow. For me, in the VIP zone it was quieter, calmer, but no less exciting. The atmosphere here was distinctly different from the one on the main floor.
It was hard to wallow in misery even if it only took me an hour to stop resisting the gratuitous amounts of white powder on the silver platters. "It's better when you're there to watch them, they'll do it anyway but at least you can know that they're getting the good stuff!" My idiot father proudly announced, looking at me snorting a line through a rolled up hundred dollar bill.
Whiskey and vodka wasn't doing it for me. It made me feel low and Dad, being Dad, of course noticed it and immediately called a guy who knew a guy and suddenly all of his friends and their baby-faced companions had white under their noses. Cash flew like autumn leaves.
As I went out to the main dance floor to get a closer look at Billie Eilish in all of her edgy, beautiful self, the drug hit me like an avalanche. No trace of the grogginess or the mortification that had hitched a ride on me from Stark tower. I danced and sang and saw dad smiling at me in approval, his equally high and important friends all wearing identically predatory smirks. They were good at spotting the obvious - beauty, talent, money. I had no qualms about the fact that dad was off bragging about my close relationship with Tony. If my father was feeling particularly bold, he'd be telling them he knew and encouraged it all along, his buddies pretending to believe the white lie in turn.
I had exchanged my pants and sneakers in favour of a skirt and fishnets with high heels combo, a decidedly inappropriate attire for a daughter having a family night with her father but he insisted I dress trendy. I loved my dad, I really did, and I knew he meant well - I'd definitely be out of place amongst these TVscreen worthy people in my jeans and sneakers but...Tony was one of those people, and he had never ever said anything bad about the way I dress. Even when I obviously and purposely put on obscene clothing just to get a rise out of someone.Tony just smiled and played along.
Tony Stark was the heartless asshole here? Really, press? Really, haters?
"Standing there, killing time, can't commit to anything but a crime..." I sang along quietly as I hurried back to the VIP area. My dad was standing up and so were a couple of his buddies. "Where's ya goin'?" I asked, taking a seat.
"Be right back baby girl, if you find better company then go on without us," Dad winked, throwing a totally nasty glance at one of the girls. She was not much older than me but her body was stick thin and bolt-ons and Botox were her two best friends. She gave me a dirty look and I returned it, extending a waiting hand towards my dad. He chuckled, depositing a neatly rolled stack of hundreds into my palm.
"Dad, I want a new purse," I whined, just a tad. Just to see the girl's eyes go wide with acrid envy. Dutifully, another couple of stacks landed in my palm without any objections and the company retreated towards the back door.
I sighed.
Fiddled with the straw of my drink a bit, contemplating my options. I could always ditch this party and go somewhere more active, somewhere with better music and kinder people.
"Ay, baby girl, you wanna party with us?" A tall, handsome man from dad's previous company approached me. "We'll have some fun." He maintained a respectful distance but the intentions were clear.
"Nope," I popped the sound, not even sparing him a glance. A few lines of cocaine stared at me from the table beckoning with a better high, a stronger sense of euphoria, confidence and energy to dance, to sing, to be happy. I picked up one of the discarded banknotes, quickly rolling it by a sheer force of habit and cleaning up the tray. One line.
"Holy shit, is that..."
Two lines.
"The fuck?!" I recognised that voice. I have been hearing it every day in the labs, I've been hearing it in my dreams.
Tony was gaping at me, in front of me.
"Hey, Tony. Fancy seeing you here." Any other time, I'd be cringing at my lame greeting but I was feeling way too good to care about trivial things like being clever or being appropriate.
"I was looking...for you," He slowly said, putting a single finger on the tray with the last line of coke and pulling it out of my reach.
"That's funny," I snorted, hastily wiping at my nose to cover the tracks of my very bad, very immoral, very illegal activities.
"It's not, Princess, it's not funny at all," He frowned. "C'mon, we're leaving." And extended his hand. I decided to follow along - there was nothing for me to do at this club anyway, the music was lame and the people were stuck-up.
"I look like a prostitute, Tony, I'll take the back door," I attempted to pull him towards the aforementioned but he didn't budge, just stared straight ahead and towed me along like he was wearing one of his iron suits under the stylish jeans and tee get-up.
He stopped in front of the exit, giving me a critical once over. Wiped my face, again, brushed my hair back. Gave me his shades - I dutifully put them on, figuring the manic look in my eyes was anything but attractive right now. "Jesus Christ, Princess," He sounded desperate. "You're beautiful, don't you fucking worry."
And we made our exit, arm in arm, me trying not to stumble in my high heels, Tony being my rock, my solid foundation. In other words, I was hanging onto him for dear life trying not to fall over and give a reason for a sneaking paparazzi to make a scandalous headline.
"You're doing great, Princess," Tony helped me into his Tesla, slamming the door behind me and hurrying towards the driver's door. I managed to unclasp and kick off my shoes, curling up comfortably into the passenger's seat.
I watched the man as he started the engine and watched him wrestle with whatever personal demons that tormented him as he peeled off and raced into the Friday night city.
"What in the everlasting fuck..." He started, stopping abruptly mid-sentence. "How did you even get in there?"
"I came with dad. He literally ditched me to fuck some whore, like, twenty minutes before you showed up." I shrugged, eyeing the modified panel of the car. It was very obviously Tony's own design. I wondered if he could introduce me to Elon Musk someday.
"What the fuck? And correct me if I didn't hear you clearly," Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "Your father took it upon himself to drag you to a club, get you drunk, gave you cocaine and fucked off with some groupies?"
"Yah, that's about it. My dad is all about cocaine and whores, the more the better," I replied, leaning in to take a closer look at the car's panel. "Hey, could, like, introduce me to Elon Musk someday? That would be fuckin' awesome."
Tony went eerily quiet, I saw his knuckles on the steering wheel go white. Vague expletives were muttered under his breath. "I'm guessing you're good on sleep?" He finally asked through gritted teeth.
"Sleep? Don't know her," I laughed. "I wanna dance, Tony."
"Of course you do, Princess." His smile was tired and forced and full of pity. "You know, I don't think I'll be able to sleep now, either," He admitted, taking a sharp left. "How about we get some McDonald's and camp out in my lab?"
"Sure, whatever," Not like I had much choice in the matter. What I really craved was a good, long, hard fuck (by Tony himself preferably) but if science calls... I have no choice but to comply. "Get me two Big Macs," I demanded least he try to joke and get me a Happy Meal or some shit.
He did get me the food without any usual grumbling. I didn't like this Tony. Tired Tony, sad Tony, angry Tony. Wrong Tony.
"Huh?" He said and I realized I'd said the last part out loud.
"I don't like a sad Tony,” I said. "It's the wrong kind. Sassy, snarky and perpetually caffeinated Tony is the best Tony. The only proper kind, in fact." I stated with seriousness, shoes dangling from one hand and my McDonald's in the other. Man, I have been seeing more and more of this god-damned elevator recently.
"You're high as a kite, darling," He chuckled then, a real laugh.
"Who's high?" Bruce's voice came from the kitchen.
In a state of blind panic, I jumped behind Tony. "Not me."
Tony palmed his face.
Steve came over from the fridge, leaving the rummaging to Bucky. He took one look at me and suddenly I felt small, insignificant like an ant. I didn't like it much. "Holy hell, the fuck happened? Tony, explain." The Captain demanded, giving me the world's biggest stink eye.
"It's her piece of shit of a father, dragged her off to some night club and left her hanging with his buddies, fucking off god knows where. It's not her fault so lay the fuck off, Rogers, with your self-righteousness," Tony exploded all over Steve, the pent up frustration rearing it's ugly head.
I mustered enough courage to tiptoe around the dick measuring contest to sit at the counter. My appetite was gone and my burgers were turning colder and soggier with every passing second. Just like my life.
"Hey, Princess," Bruce's gentle voice halted my train of thought. He approached me carefully, ignoring the men behind me in favour of simply wrapping me up in a quiet, comfortable hug. "You feel alright? Want some water?"
"Nu-uh," I mumbled, unwilling to part ways with the warmth of this embrace.
"... Steve, I found her snorting miles of coke all by herself while an some jackass was waiting for her to be even more out of it. It's rare that I say this but I had literally zero words." Tony punctuated his words by tapping his fist against the wall multiple times.
Bruce tightened his hold on me, a sudden influx of strength accompanied by a quiet, low growl in his throat.
I felt the sudden need to clarify the situation. "Tony, chill. It takes me a lot more to be out of it, I'm fucking coherent and I'm talking sensibly. It's not my first rodeo."
Apparently I'd gone and said the wrong thing because all the men in the room were suddenly growling. I even totally forgot about Bucky who had the uncanny ability to exist in a room without making absolutely any sort of noise.
"The fuck do you even mean by that, Princess?" Tony screeched, probably already knowing that answer.
"From one rich kid to another, you should damn well fuckin' know," I spat, unwilling to admit my misery.
He sighed, audibly deflating behind me. I refused to listen to him, refused to be humiliated and exposed like that for my perfectly human desire to be happy. To not be a disappointment, to not be disappointed in everything and everyone. Bruce was nice and kind and warm and selfless but even he couldn't love me the way I wanted to be loved. Cherished, taken care of. All that mushy stuff. I was selfish, so I snuggled in closer to him, muting the world around me, replacing it with the smell and feel of him.
Cocaine made it a whole lot easier to imagine. Maybe that's why it was so addictive.
"Guys, calm down, you're stressing everyone out," Bruce rumbled quietly. I loved the way his deep voice seemed to reverb throughout his chest.
"Get me a cup of coffee, would you, Buckaroo?" Tony sighed again. I heard the sound of him slurping at his coffee. I heard Bucky's metal arm clunk against something equally metallic before the supersoldiers bid everyone good night and walked off.
Only then I removed my face from Bruce enough to take a good look at Tony. He was eyeing me, too.
"We have a caffeinated Tony," I said, softly. "Now we just need some science to have a happy Tony."
He smiled but it came out watery. He wanted to say something but choked on his words. "C'mere," He finally said, turning in his chair and opening his arms.
I unashamedly made grabby hands, the universal gesture for ‘I want, gimme’, and Bruce delightfully deposited me into Tony's waiting arms. It was like my birthday and Christmas came out all at once. Tony's embrace was warm, like Bruce's, but tinted with an unexpected familiarity. He smelled like motor oil and fancy cologne. It was heavenly.
"You keeping tabs on me, huh? Coffee, science and sass? That's your recipe for happiness?" The engineer asked me, a seriousness that didn't match the joking tone of the conversation at all.
"I think I got you figured out. Peter, too, is important for happiness. But in controlled amounts," I said, giving it a careful thought.
Tony chuckled, sounding a little bit shocked. "What about you?" He said after a brief moment of silence passed, interrupted only by Bruce's tea kettle coming to a slow boil.
"I don't think you need me for happiness," I said, meaning it. "But let's be honest, I'm a nice addition."
He stilled under me, briefly. Bruce cleared his throat.
"Brucie needs me, I think. He's lonely," I told Tony with a sudden influx of desire to be completely honest and 100% transparent. "And it makes me happy, because I need Bruce too. He's the best," I finished.
"Is that so?" Tony sounded vaguely tearful so I attempted to pull back to take a good look at his face. He didn't let me though, gently but firmly pressing my face back into his chest. "And me?"
"I do need you, Tones," I admitted without spilling any unnecessary details.
There was a child within me, small and scared and lonely, like Bruce. I hated her, hated being so soft and needy when everybody else obviously (and understandably) was busy with figuring out their own lives. I wished, desperately so, to just boom-boom-whoosh her away like Doctor Strange magicked away unwanted visitors.
Tony said nothing but his hands betrayed him. They shook and they held onto the skimpy see-through fabric of my top like he was a drowning man and I was his only floatie. For the moment, I closed my eyes and let myself believe he needed me, too.
"I'll catch a wink or two, wake me up if you need something," Bruce broke the silence, having finished off his tea. I didn't notice the time pass so quickly, too lost somewhere between here and there and Tony. In short, I was being lovesick all over the billionaire.
"Bwucie," I leaned backwards, pushing until Tony caved and let me rest my back against the counter, elbows on top of it, legs dangling freely on the sides of his legs. It put a lot of me on display. Tony had called me beautiful earlier so none of my usual habits of being appropriate around the man concerned me. He thought I was pretty!
"Princess," Banner came over to wrap me in a hug that was quite awkward, considering the fact I was sitting on Tony. It took some maneuvering to get it right.
"Night night," I said the usual and got a brief kiss on the cheek before Bruce shuffled off, yawning.
Tony was watching us with an unreadable expression. As soon as I turned my head to look at his face instead, something in him changed. His eyes grew big and round, the crease between his eyebrows disappeared. The corners of his mouth tilted up.
On a sudden impulse, I reached over to run my palm gently over the neatly trimmed line of his beard, following from his chin to his jawline, to his soft tousled hair. His eyelashes shook, fluttered, as the engineer leaned into my touch with the grace of a cat. "Kiss him, kiss him" my brain chanted. I knew I was a coward, I wouldn't do that. "Pretty," I said instead, the word coming out in a whisper.
He gulped, audibly. "Princess, you have no idea..." Shaking his head, as if he was surrounded by a swarm of mosquitoes, Tony briefly looked away. "You have no idea what you're doing."
"Nope," I agreed solemnly. "But at least it feels good. It feels right."
"God," He frowned, one of his hands coming to nervously card through his hair. "Nothing about this is right."
My face fell. Just like I thought, Tony wanted exactly nothing to do with a clueless little teenager. It stung and tears pooled in the corners of my eyes where I stubbornly refused to let them escape and make me into a crybaby. "Whatever you say, Tony." I was ready to agree with anything he said, really, if he would just keet holding me like that.
"Don't," He raised a palm. "Don't close yourself off like that."
Now I was genuinely confused. What exactly did he expect from me? I shrugged.
"You're clever, brilliant and beautiful, you can and should do so much better than all of this," He vaguely gestured towards me, towards himself, towards us and the whole damn city.
I contemplated my answer, briefly. "A lot of people tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. Don't I get a say?" The bitterness had fought its way out and won. "I just want to be happy for a bit. All the usual bullshit."
He looked taken aback, really. Like he hadn't even considered the option. Typical.
Meanwhile, I continued my word vomit. "I want someone to give a damn about what I want and what makes me happier. Until then, I have no other choice but to take care of myself the best way I know how. Like everybody else does," The weight of his arm landed on my waist, pulling me close to his chest yet again. I didn't resist. No fight left in me. The tiredness seeped deep in my bones, chilly.
The sudden change of altitude startled me. The engineer had picked me up and started walking off towards the elevator, directing it to the lab. His personal lab. The tiles felt cold under my feet where he put me down to make his own beeline for the bar. I would've joined if not the drug in my system - the last thing I wanted was to land in a hospital yet again.
I took the moment to browse my social media, untag myself from all the unflattering pictures, post my usual shitpost. A tiny skirt, equally tiny top and fishnets - I felt out of place in his lab although I've worn more outrageous things previously. I was raw, torn open, bleeding my misery all over the room. That was not in my plan, but then again, when did ever life go as you planned it?
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THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @as-i-layhereinyourbed @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01
please check your blog settings before tag request or, alternatively, follow the "party favours" tag itself if Tumblr doesn't let me tag you - it does that for some reason. love you all 3000.
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Initial True Colors thoughts::
Please don’t expect this to be intelligent or organized or in any way useful for anything. Just my dumb thoughts about a game I really enjoy :))
*Actually thoughts from about ten minutes in. I got excited when it finally finished downloading and forgot I had wanted to do this
- This game is already activating all my Colorado feelings. I’ve been wanting to move back for years, and this is making me want to even more. The scenery is so pretty, and the town seems incredible. I want to live here so bad.
- I thought the guy sitting by the creek was Gabe, and spent way too long trying to figure out how to get to him, whoops.
-Birb! I love him.
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- Ah, so she's telepathic. I couldn’t remember exactly what her ability was, only that it involved auras or something. This should be interesting.
-I love that he has a tab at the florist. How often are you apologising, my guy?
- I aspire to be as cool as that gnome. Look at his shirt!! He’s the best.
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- This poor kid has been carrying that bag around for ages. Can we finish the tour after I set my shit down?
- One of these days I’m going to get around to doing some goat yoga. More just so I can chill with some goats than anything else. Just some goats and me, hanging out, doing some stretches. Sounds like a fun time.
- Oh, I love this kid. He’s great. But wait, the mines? That they’re about to blast to bits? Those mines? Please don’t go camping there just yet. 
- Oh my goodness, this record store is so cool. I’m not even a huge music fan and I would spend so much time here. Also...
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-Steph!! My beloved. Is it to early to ask her to marry me? Ah well, we can go play d&d and make out or something, idk, whatever normal people do. 
- Oh new, character. Cool. Hi, Ryan. Sorry, my heart’s already taken, but you seem chill. Also, did not realize she was coming from Portland. 
- Oh, I just noticed the sign. Of course she larps. God, I love this town. Where can I find Haven Springs? I need to move there. yesterday.
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- I would die for Valkyrie.
- Also I love moments in games, when an npc is like, ‘help me do this thing’, and then just sits back and watches while you do all the work. Thanks man.
- God, I love the music in this game, though. I’m going to have to look some songs up later. I forgot how much I loved these moments in the LiS series though, when a song plays and it just goes through a little montage. It’s so peaceful and lovely.
- Also, I love Steph just jamming out in the background. I would die for her too.
- Forbidden Songs, by Adam and Steve. Incredible.
- Okay, Valkyrie. I love you very much, but I apparently need you to move to advance this story. Where the fuck is your toy.
- This motherfucker. Kings of Leon? Seriously? Ugh, why am I related to this loser. /j
- Okay, not that I’m complaining, but how did she get my phone number? Or actually know who I am? We literally didn’t exchange two words. I pointed at a record and she referred to me as ‘some chick’. Steph, you got your own telepathy powers I should know about??
-Ahh, my first big choice... do I want to be the cool aunt or the safe aunt?? Bc in this game, he could actually die if I make the wrong choice.... ah fuck. I gotta be safe. I’ll be cool with other stuff. Like LARPing. Please don’t hate me, Ethan..
- Ooh, this guy seems cool. I’m getting some badass Ron Swanson vibes. 
-Dude. His apartment is so cool. Seriously, where can I find a town like Haven Springs, I want to live here so bad.
- Hey welcome to the town, here’s a whole-ass apartment. Also I care about you v much and want you to have a fresh start. I’m already getting feelings from this game.
- Oh, I was just about to say I hope our downstairs neighbors don’t mind noise. This guy seems off though.. didn’t he mention a Mack? If he did, I absolutely cannot remember what he said..
-Oh yeah! He was the florist’s asshole boyfriend. Cool cool cool.
-Ah, so her powers aren’t so much telepathy, as empath who takes on the others emotions; similar to Caleb from the bright sessions. Interesting.
- Oh shit. Where’s Dr. Bright’s breathing exercises when you need them.
-God, poor Alex. Poor Gabe. They were having such a nice time.
- I just want to give her a hug :(
-So we’re getting some backstory stuff. Not sure what happened with parents yet, as far as I can remember. But I guess she disappeared on her own.. ran away? Or something else. 
- Mini game!! That was fun. I only made it to the third level bc I’m bad at things. But I’ll beat your high score at some point, Gabe. >.>
-Oh, Shu-shu is so cute. Also, could probably use a bath. Maybe later 
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-Old family photo, but (probably) parents are cut out. So that, plus what was probably her running away as a kid, means not the best childhood. :( I wonder if that’s why he reacted like that to her beating up Mack? I mean, obviously, that wasn’t a great moment for anyone, but he seemed freaked out in a different way than just worrying about his sis beating someone up.
-Okay, so mom probably got sick with something, maybe cancer or something similar, and the dad was an abusive prick when she died. Maybe. Except she had cut the mom out too, so clearly that’s not the whole story, if it’s even close. Maybe mom was an alcoholic?
-Aw, he got her a guitar. I wonder if it was his old one, or a new one he bought?
-Are the flashes of red indicative of her emotions? Or is that just the sunset or something? Maybe both?
-Oh man, I really wish I could give her a hug. She deserves all the love 
 Ahh, I’m realizing how long this is getting, and also it is 11:00, and I have to wake up early tomorrow for work. As much as I would like to play this all night, I probably need to be responsible..
If for some reason you’re still here, I hope you enjoyed reading my dumb, rambling thoughts. Overall, I’m really excited for this game. So far it’s been a lot of fun, and I can’t wait to find out more about these characters and the story. I feel like this game is going to be really good. I wish we got more Steph time in, but I know she’ll come in later. Anyways, I’m v tired and might have more intelligent thoughts later, but probably not.. 
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otterskin · 3 years
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Inverted Mobius, Mr. Tesseract and The Avatar of Truth
The mystery of the weird collar has deepened, thanks to @nebulousfishgills​ - by which I mean they totally solved it.
To those just joining me, I noticed this in my previous breakdown of the Loki trailer here.
Mr. Mobius, played by Owen Wilson, has an ‘inverted suit’. His collar is an indentation in his suit, rather than going on top of it.
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So, first, a scene from Endgame that I seriously did think of when we learned there was a character called ‘Mobius M. Mobius’ in Loki (played by Owen Wilson). And yet I didn’t put this together. Thanks again to nebulousfish for making me realize that these things might not be coincidences.
When Mr. Stark is inventing time travel, he asks his AI to create a depiction of a Mobius Strip, inverted.
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Which gets him this:
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Anyway, what is a Mobius Strip, and who is Mobius M. Mobius? (Not to be confused with Morbius the Living Vampire, though wouldn’t it be funny if he was mistaken for Mobius M. if this show gets big first?)
I am not a quantum theorist or comic book aficionado by trade, so let’s do a Wikipedia-Fu on it.
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In mathematics, a Möbius strip, band, or loop (US: /ˈmoʊbiəs, ˈmeɪ-/ MOH-bee-əs, MAY-, UK: /ˈmɜːbiəs/;[1]German: [ˈmøːbi��ʊs]), also spelled Mobius or Moebius, is a surface with only one side (when embedded in three-dimensional Euclidean space) and only one boundary curve. The Möbius strip is the simplest non-orientable surface.
An example of a Möbius strip can be created by taking a strip of paper and giving one end a half-twist, then joining the ends to form a loop; its boundary is a simple closed curve which can be traced by a single unknotted string. Any topological space homeomorphic to this example is also called a Möbius strip, allowing for a very wide variety of geometric realizations as surfaces with a definite size and shape. For example, any rectangle can be glued left-edge to right-edge with a reversal of orientation. Some, but not all, of these can be smoothly modeled as surfaces in Euclidean space. A closely related, but not homeomorphic, surface is the complete open Möbius band, a boundaryless surface in which the width of the strip is extended infinitely to become a Euclidean line.A half-twist clockwise gives an embedding of the Möbius strip which cannot be moved or stretched to give the half-twist counterclockwise; thus, a Möbius strip embedded in Euclidean space is a chiral object with right- or left-handedness. The Möbius strip can also be embedded by twisting the strip any odd number of times, or by knotting and twisting the strip before joining its ends.
A Möbius strip does not self-intersect but its projection in 2 dimensions does.
Uh....right. Well, that clears everything up, doesn’t it?
Let’s crib off someone else’s work. Thanks to Thomas Wong on Medium, I was able to understand this a little better.
A Möbius strip is just a strip of paper, turned and taped together. It it only has one side, so an ant walking along the strip eventually returns to where he started. If we metaphorically interpret the ant, not as returning to a point in space, but a point in time, then it alludes to time travel.
...
As previously discussed, after a measurement, the quantum mixture (half born and half never born) becomes a definite state (born or never born). Finding the “spectral decomposition” is to find all the possible energies (eigenvalues) and states. Using these, one can determine how a quantum object evolves with time.
Combining this with the metaphoric interpretation of the Möbius strip, it could be that Stark found how to make quantum objects evolve such that they revisit a point in time, hence time travel.
Okay, that’s a little easier to understand. So how does this relate to the character Mobius M. Mobius, aside from him being named after the strip and the (apparently antiquated) ideas about time travel?
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Well, he was based on Marvel Comics Legend Mark Gruenwald, a guy known for his passion for the lore of the comics, which he knew in innate detail. He even wrote the Official Handbooks and whatnot. Likewise, Mr. Mobius is a stickler for detail and one of the few members of the TVA even allowed a face - although it is off the rack, as he’s one an infinite number of clones (god I love the TVA so much already, it’s heaven for a Douglas Addams fan like me).
Despite being a clone, he rose through the ranks and is nearly the top guy, serving only underneath Mr. Alternity (and I am not familiar with these comics so feel free to correct me). Mr. Alternity has almost no comics history, but is based on editor Tom Brevoort.
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There are several other misters, all of them near-identical to ‘Moby’. Mr. Orobourous, Mr. Paradox, Mr. Tesseract (!) and Mr. Oburos. They are also minor characters, but let’s look at all these names.
Clearly they are named after quantum theories of some-sort or another.
Mr. Mobius: Mobius Strip Theory - the idea that, essentially, is about the shape of time itself and the theory of traveling along that shape.
Mr. Alternity : Alternative universes
Mr. Ouroboros: A divine figure representing the beginning and the end of time in an endless cycle of death and rebirth.
Mr. Oburos - I’m not sure, but I think this is a variant of Ouroboros. 
Mr. Paradox - Temporal paradox, causal loops - ex. The Grandfather Paradox
Mr. Tesseract - An object that exists in 4 dimensions. Time is often called the fourth dimension.
Obviously that last one is interesting, considering how the Tesseract will be the start of our adventure. The Cosmic Cube was renamed for the MCU, and in the comics has no relation to this minor character.
But what if it now does?
What if Tony has caused a change in the very appearance of Mr. Mobius when he inverted the Mobius Strip - literally inverting his clothing because he changed the shape of the Mobius - does that mean that these seemingly human-looking misters are in fact some sort of avatars for aspects of time itself? And if Mr. Tesseract is representative of how space and time intersect in the fourth dimension, wouldn’t a rogue god twisting space and time with the device that shares his name cause him some affect? Perhaps why the TVA noticed something was amiss to begin with.
This would be a departure from the comics, but the characters have almost no history there. They are ripe for new ideas.
Or, then again, since Loki will be working for the TVA - perhaps he’s the one who becomes ‘Mr. Tesseract’?
But continuing with that ‘Avatar of Aspects’ idea, let’s get away from this sausagefest for a second and visit my next newest favourite character -
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I’m guessing she’s one of the Justices of the TVA. What gives it away? The imperious look, the giant oaken table, or the fact that I’m suddenly self-conscious when she looks at me? It’s the last one, of course. She’s a natural judge.
Of the named TVA judges, there’s :
Justice Goodwill, Justice Hope, Justice Liberty, Justice Love, Justice Might, Justice Mills, Justice Peace and Justice Truth.
Could they also possibly be avatars of their respective aspects?
If I had to guess, I’d say this is Justice Truth, as pairing up Loki with an avatar of Truth seems like it’d be a smashing good time, similar to how he was paired with Verity Willis in the comics. She might even be a composite character with Verity.
Verity’s power is detecting and seeing through all lies and illusions. I think this powerset will be given to Justice Truth, except instead of deriving it from a magic ring that she swallowed, she’d simply be the actual ‘Embodiment of Truth’ - and let’s get real here, when I said ‘Avatars of Aspects’, I was using that clunky phrase because the more obvious one - God of - is already ‘taken’. So Justice Truth may well be the ‘God of Truth’, as it were.
I think she’ll end up in something of a buddy-comedy with Loki, giving him someone to bounce off against who literally cuts through his carefully crafted veneer.
I’m reminded of a great quote from Taika Waititi when he was talking about what he wanted to do with Loki in Ragnarok:
“(He’s) someone who tries so hard to embody this idea of the tortured artist, this tortured, gothy orphan...It’s too tiring trying to be like that,” he says. “And, most humans, we get over ourselves, we get to that point where we’re like, ‘man, being a tortured artist is actually, like, a lot of work. Maybe I should just be real and present, and just be me, and I don’t have to be a tortured artist to be interesting, I can just be a f*cking weird New Zealander and that’s enough.”
...I think Taika is a living Loki, tbh, ha ha. No wonder he gets it.
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Waititi, Yost, Pearson and Kyle did great work to cut through Loki’s illusions, both with dialogue and the visual allegory of his projections being dispelled by handy thrown objects, culminating in the very sweet ‘I’m here,’ scene at the end of the film. Loki seems to be much more open and expressive at the end of that film, and it seems like a weight has lifted off his shoulders.
But while this new Loki (Loki 2.0? Loki’s Show’s Loki? Loki II? Lokii? Lokii.) is shown a clip show of Ragnarok (one I previously theorized will be deliberately incomplete), that’s quite different from actually experiencing it, and he’ll be as performative as he was in Avengers and Thor 2. Instead of processing that ‘lack of presence’ as he did in Ragnarok, which came about as a result of Thor finally seeing through Loki’s illusions (guess he doesn’t fall for it anymore) as a result of their long history together, I suspect the band-aid will be torn off much more harshly by a total stranger who nonetheless simply sees through him.
Loki in general has a bad relationship with the truth (see the famous Vault Confrontation scene), and literally putting him on trial before the Truth Herself would certainly be enough to get him to switch from this phony expression:
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To this one:
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That’s not much of a facade there.
It’s not the same character arc as Ragnarok, but it does get us to a similar place, albeit in a darker and less healing way for Loki. I mean Lokii.
Anyhow. That’s what I got out of this thing.
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vaguely-concerned · 3 years
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The Mandalorian S2Ep2 reactions
- I’m not an arachnophobe, but I can imagine this ep wasn’t much fun for those of us who are, I’m so sorry you guys
- I have never vibed with a character more than with Din when he said “Am I under arrest?”. I, too, am that level of exhausted. the ‘I guess this is happening but you literally cannot force me to have an emotion about it’ tier of tired
- much like the second episode of the first season, this second episode wasn’t about anything as trivial as plot development or starting a new arc; as every episode of the Mandalorian should be it’s about Din Djarin having a very bad no good horrible day that only keeps escalating on him and him being low-key exhaustedly bitchy about it while also stumbling through being a single dad, and I for one am living for it
- what did I tell you, they WERE saving up those dad & baby interaction resources for other episodes! a blessing 
-when baby cuddled up to his dad for the nap... the fact that as din sleeps he unthinkingly turns towards the baby a bit so that he’s basically shielding him with his body...... BABY’S LITTLE HAMMOCK IN THE SLEEPING COMPARTMENT DFHSDKJFHSDJKHFSKDJHF
- I’m choosing to believe din kept his armour (BOOTS INCLUDED) on while sleeping because he needed to be ready at a moment’s notice and because his hypervigilance won’t let him relax without it while there’s someone other than him and the kid around, not because that’s what he usually does, because that’s one level of crazy too far
- god, I love the razor crest so much, what a precious beaten up hunk of junk it is. din really pulled the ‘my car is too old and shitty to need plates’ and has gotten away with it for so long
that entire conversation was pure gold, honestly, up to and including the way he just went quiet for a few seconds upon realizing the game was up and then sent the whole ship into a sudden nose dive fshadfhsa. (that’s my preferred way of ending conversations too din it’s okay) the way you could see mando get tenser and tenser but there was also an underlying tone of comedy to it? exactly the sort of thing I was ready for today, tense but bizarrely funny is the mood of the hour (din IS pretty damn good at flying though! I wonder who taught him)
also they played the kuiil music while din was working to fix up the ship ;______;
- I’ve seen people say din needs to feed this baby properly (and it is very funny) but honestly din seems kind of surprised/taken aback at just how hungry the kid is all the time now, so I’m wondering if he’s actually in the beginning of a growth spurt or his brain is doing a lot of developing? we hear him get much closer to active babbling in this ep, I think his big lil force vibin’ brain needs a bunch of nutrients because it’s g r o w i n g 
- I like the way this show tackles star wars language barriers and the ways they can be solved, and not only because it’s hilarious to watch very talented actors belt out a series of unnatural noises with straight faces (well, straight helmets in din’s case I suppose) 
- I will reblog every single gifset of baby running towards his dad and being picked up safely. I will tattoo that shit on my heart.  
- Stop Giving Din Djarin Serious Head Trauma Challenge 2020 (he was passed out for long enough that frost had started to form on his helmet???? That is NOT good for you!!!) 
- Frog lady using the corpse of Zero to communicate... perfection, but also why the everloving fuck did Din keep that fashfklahsd 
my man, your life choices
- "if you put one mark on him there's no place you will be able to hide from me" ooooooooh it’s the way he doesn’t even raise his voice, it’s not a threat, it’s just a straightforward statement of fact in his normal soft voice and it’s all the scarier for it
- local dad gets unkindly shaken awake from much-needed nap three separate times, does not deserve this, let him rest
- new republic dudes showing up like ‘don’t worry we’re the chill police. haha get it? ‘cause it’s an ice planet but also we’re (somewhat implausibly) letting you off the -- anyway have fun trying not to freeze to death lawl latrz’  
- some people seem upset that this is basically filler, and I sympathise with the distress but also... this is the ‘cheerfully wallowing in filler’ show. that’s like half of season 1 too. (personally I find that mix of old fashioned case of the week and slice of life thing they’ve got going on very charming and calming, but of course that’s down to taste. I’m in no hurry to get where we’re going, and I’m glad the show doesn’t seem to be yet either)
also I do think this ep is doing some thematic things with parents and children that might make more sense when you see the season as a whole -- you have mando with the baby and frog lady with her babies-to-be up against the big fuck-off spider with its fucking army of spiderlings, there’s something going on here with the empathy and recognition that the love you feel for your child is mirrored in another person’s love for theirs (I really liked that din and frog lady protected each other’s kids as well, just very wholesome and nice... except those eggs eaten by yodito I guess. uh well it’s not a perfect metaphor I suppose lol) 
- *the razor crest barely limping through space with loose parts dangling everywhere and sparks flying from places they definitely shouldn’t*
me: :’) that’s my dad’s car you guys
- mando’s flamethrower REDEMPTION! a time it was fully 100% useful! I’m so proud of it
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hidden-otaku-stuff · 4 years
Text
Suga, Atsumu, Akaashi, and Sakusa saving their S/O from traffic
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Hey anon! I normally only take 3 characters for headcanon requests, but I decided to just go ahead and do all four this time. Please make sure to read my rules before making requests 😊
Word count: ~2k
AN: I may have gone slightly overboard with Atsumu’s but y’know. This is my first time writing for Sakusa and Suga though! 
part 1: Tsukishima, Kuroo, Osamu saving their S/O from traffic
SUGAWARA
⭐ So, you and Suga have known each other for years 
⭐ After all, you were Asahi’s younger sister
⭐ Both Suga and Daichi were very familiar with you
⭐ It was not surprise that after knowing you for so long, Suga caught feels
⭐ Suga liked that you had the same gentle temperament as your brother BUT you weren’t as “cowardly”
⭐ He enjoyed whenever you let loose and indulged in your wild side
⭐ Of course, the only people in the group who realised Suga had a crush were Kiyoko and Daichi
⭐ You and Asahi were hella oblivious I swear LMAO
⭐ Anyways, eventually Asahi catches Daichi and Suga talking and he’s like OMG SUGA HAS A THING FOR (NAME)???
⭐ But at the end of the day, he’s like, well Suga’s a nice guy
⭐ Of course, you and your brother were super close too!
⭐ Later that night, you end up accidentally confiding in your brother that you also had a thing for Suga
⭐ Leading to Asahi confessing for Suga that very moment
⭐ The next day at school, you go out of your way to avoid Suga because omg my crush LIKES ME BACK?!
⭐ Suga’s super sad and is like, why are they doing this?
⭐ Asahi’s awkwardly scratching his neck and is like, I may have said something
⭐ SO, Suga finds you at your house later that night, asks you out, and you’ve been dating ever since
⭐ At the time of the incident !
⭐ You join the rest of the third-years in going to the shrine for new years
⭐ By now, you and Suga have already been going strong for over a year
⭐ As you reach the bottom of the steps, a biker is speeding past
⭐ They all react simultaneously
⭐ Asahi is frozen, his heart is beating so loud he swears everyone could hear it
⭐ Daichi is lunging forward, ready to use his defensive volleyball skills to do something (though idk what would have helped in this situation)
⭐ Kiyoko’s eyes are wide
⭐ But Suga!! man is moving at lightning speed
⭐ Like he is on a MISSION and that is to protect the love of his life!
⭐ He grabs you by the waist, hoisting you back up onto the steps and pressing you against him
⭐ You blink, confused until you hear the biker ringing his bell, shouting apologies as he speeds along the path
⭐ “Y’know, that would’ve sucked to start the new year off like that” you chuckle, looking up at Suga
⭐ He chuckles too, nodding as he brushes your hair back
⭐ Pulling you up, y’all face the third years as they unfreeze and make their way towards you
⭐ (Name)!” -Asahi
⭐ “Suga!” -Daichi
⭐ “Are you guys okay?” -the goddess Kiyoko
⭐ After breathing a sigh of relief, Asahi’s doing that little clap thing he does when Nishinoya receives his serves in the commercial break
⭐ Asahi’s giving him that look that says “i owe you everything. you have saved her life. i give you my permission to marry her”
⭐ Suga’s just laughing and is like “i would’ve done that with or without your permission 💝 ”
ATSUMU
⭐ Honestly, this was an enemies-to-lovers, slow-burn situation
⭐ You were in the same friend groups after playing at the club together as children
⭐ He was hella STINGY! he did not like that you were a setter AND that Osamu would ask you to set for him sometimes out of spite
⭐ Anyways, that rivalry continued up until high-school
⭐ Unfortunately, right before high-school starts, you suffer from a critical injury and had to quit volleyball
⭐ Atsumu felt bad about it
⭐ Like though he saw you as a rival, it just wasn’t fair that you had to quit so early
⭐ SO! He offers you the next best thing
⭐ Being his manager!
⭐ You laughed in his face the first few times he offered because you’re like, are you just being petty right now?
⭐ But after a while (and after he’s asked you like 20 times) you finally accept the offer
⭐ Now that you guys are no longer rivals, and you’re around each other all the time, Atsumu is like wait a second, you’re kinda attractive
⭐ AND the fact that you talk volleyball to him!
⭐ You were roped into his late practices more often than he’d care to admit
⭐ Of course, as manager (and ex-rival), you’d give him tips on how to improve his serves and setting
⭐ At first, he was kinda salty when you gave him advice and kicked him out of the gym
⭐ But eventually (aka, after Osamu kicked his ass), he realised that you were doing it out of care!
⭐ Thus, he spiraled into full-on affection for you
⭐ On your end, you didn’t really care about Atsumu
⭐ You thought the rivalry was stupid
⭐ And like, the boy bullied you!! Because his twin liked how you set!
⭐ But after you stopped playing, you realised that he was just a dummy who lived-and-breathed volleyball
⭐ Proven by the early mornings and late nights at the gym
⭐ Eventually, his passion sparked something inside of you
⭐ Like although you couldn’t play anymore, it was really nice seeing this passion and it made you care more about the team
⭐ This translated into more hangouts with the team, and eventually Atsumu just hits you up out of nowhere like “we’re always together”
⭐ You: Yes and?
⭐ Atsumu: We might as well date?
⭐ You: LOL! ...sure
⭐ And that’s how y’all start dating!
⭐ AT THE TIME OF THE INCIDENT
⭐ you’re on-campus ridiculously early, waiting for the bus that’ll take you to Tokyo for nationals
⭐ Mid-yawn, you’re complaining about how a POWER HOUSE school has to take the bus all the way there
⭐ “Like, we’re the favorites to win!”
⭐ (you just hate being awake before the sun is)
⭐ The bus is arriving, and you step down off the curb to walk around the bus and start loading your stuf
⭐ Of course, Atsumu is ALSO dead tired and his brain short-circuits, thinking the bus is about to hit you
⭐ SO, he’s sprinting at you, throwing his food onto the ground (osamu is screeching behind him)
⭐ You turn, confused when a muscular body slams into you
⭐ Y’all both tumble down onto the concrete and you’re just like, Atsumu I’m going to kill you
⭐ Osamu is just like, not if I kill him first!
⭐ Atsumu’s just like, but! The bus! Was about to hit you?
⭐ Kita’s face-palming and is just like, the bus literally stopped 30 feet away from them
⭐ Suna’s cackling while he records this mess
⭐ Your boyfriend’s blushing and is just like, “well maybe I just wanted to be a hero for my boo”
⭐ NGL, it would’ve been sweet EXCEPT he crushed the bag of snacks you’d packed so you were pretty peeved
⭐ Leading to a sulking Atsumu
⭐ Once y’all are on the bus, you lean over and give him a kiss
⭐ He short-circuits again. “Aren’t you mad at me?”
⭐ You shake your head, “a little, but I can’t just refuse to give my hero his reward, right?”
⭐ Atsumu’s heart swells and he’s promising himself to always be your hero
AKAASHI
⭐ Alright, so y’all weren’t dating yet!
⭐ Nah, you were just a Fukurodani manager-in-training
⭐ But TBH, Akaashi had the biggest crush on you
⭐ He liked how responsible you were, and how you weren’t really overbearing and obnoxious like the other managers (and his captain but y’know)
⭐ Since he was the vice captain, the other managers trusted him to show you the ropes
⭐ (they’d also noticed the way y’all looked at each other and was tryna make their ship sail!)
⭐ ANYWAYS
⭐ This happens during that first two-weeked Tokyo training camp where Kageyama and Hinata are running late
⭐ SO, Akaashi and you had gone outside to get some fresh air and just to get away from the chaos of the team
⭐ Bokuto and Kuroo were both tryna rope him into some shenanigans, so you benevolently bailed him out and brought him outside to help you fill the bottles
⭐ Cue side-eyes and winks from the other managers to you both
⭐ Just as you’re making small talk, a screeching sound interrupts the conversation
⭐ WHOOP THERE’S SAEKO!
⭐ She barely manages to brake in front of you
⭐ But sweet Akaashi had already pulled you back into him, his back facing the car just in case he wasn’t fast enough
⭐ “Are you ok?” he asks, leaning back to scan your features
⭐ You nod, sheepish
⭐ Akaashi turns back to the driver, eyebrows raised
⭐ Saeko gets out of the car, apologising intensively
⭐ Of course, Hinata literally pukes when he gets out because he’s overwhelmed with everything that’s happened
⭐ Kageyama is like, uhm, can I just go play volleyball now pls?
⭐ After numerous apologies, Akaashi points them towards the gym and spirits you away to a bench
⭐ He keeps giving you water, an unreadable expression on his face
⭐ “Uhm, Akaashi? Are you ok?”
⭐ Akaashi just SIGHS, nodding
⭐ He fixes you with a hard stare, a slight tremour in his voice. “I’m sorry, (Name). I just...I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to you”
⭐ You tilt your head. “I mean, I doubt that I would’ve died from that”
⭐ Akaashi chuckles, shaking his head slightly as he slots your fingers together. He squeezes your hand. 
⭐ “Yeah, but my heart would have”
⭐ Y’all both get flusterd as heck!
⭐ Like, was that a CONFESSION?!
⭐ Turning back to ask, you get the answer in the form of him kissing your cheek
⭐ Akaashi short-circuits. You short-circuit. Did that really just happen?!
⭐ “So..does that mean we’re together or..”
⭐ And before Akaashi can respond, the rest of Fukurodani appears!
⭐ They heard what happened from Hinata (who cannot keep his mouth shut I swear)  
⭐ As you’re both swarmed, you peek at Akaashi
⭐ Over the noise, he gives you a small smile, nodding
⭐ Your hearts are warm! Like finally!!
SAKUSA
⭐ TBH, I feel like Sakusa wouldn’t really care to find a partner
⭐ UNLESS, it is someone he grew up with and is very familiar with
⭐ So! Enter, Komori’s best friend
⭐ Sakusa and Komori were always together
⭐ You and Komori were always together
⭐ This made it very easy for you to get close to Sakusa!
⭐ He liked that you respected his space and desire for cleanliness
⭐ You always went out of your way to carry around extra face masks, wipes, and santisier just in case people got too close to him (and you)
⭐ Sakusa wouldn’t have made the first move though
⭐ UNLESS! He realised he was about to lose you
⭐ Which almost happened
⭐ You ended up not hanging out with the duo as much because of a school assignment
⭐ Coincidentally, Sakusa overheard one of his teammates talking about you and the other dude
⭐ The other dude had the biggest crush on you, and was going to ask you out after y’all were finished with the project
⭐ Of course, Sakusa was just like absolutely not
⭐ Right after practice, Sakusa went to go look for you only to find you walknig towards the gym
⭐ “Oh hey Sakusa!”
⭐ “Call me Kiyoomi”
⭐ “Ok Kiyoo- wait what?!” 
⭐ Your eyes went wide
⭐ His heart stuttered, why were you so cute?!
⭐ “I mean, you would call your boyfriend by his first name, right?”
⭐ “B-boyfriend?!?!”
⭐ Komori appears, throwing his arm over your shoulder to Sakusa’s disgust. “I think this is how Sakusa’s tryna confess to you, (Name)”
⭐ Sakusa just nods stiffly, pulling out some wipes 
⭐ Heat sweeps over you as you awkwardly nod, “oh! Sure, Kiyoomi”
⭐ Sakusa was grateful that the mask covered his face because boy was BLUSHING
⭐ SO! At the time of the incident~
⭐ You had gone with Sakusa to the training center for the Tokyo Training Camp
⭐ Komori had already gone without y’all
⭐ You were from around the area, and were going to go visit your family for the week
⭐ (It was also a chance for you to introduce Sakusa to your family after he finished up with the training camp)
⭐ Anyways, you’d just dropped Sakusa off, waving goodbye to him as you turn to walk off
⭐ There was a loud honking noise
⭐ Some dude was trying to park and was being SO RUDE to you as you were walking through the lot
⭐ You turn to face the car, only to have your arm yanked out of its socket as someone leads you away
⭐ “Whah?!”
⭐ Your eyes follow the arm, finding Sakusa on the other end
⭐ “Weren’t you supposed to be warming up?!”
⭐ “You forgot something”
⭐ He finally stops as you reach the sidewalk
⭐ Your brows furrow. “What did I forget?”
⭐ Suddenly pulling his mask down, he presses a kiss to your forehead
⭐ “That”
⭐ Whirling around, Sakusa stalks back to the training center, blushing brightly as he realises what he had done
⭐ Your hand is touching the spot where he’d kissed you, your heart beating fast
⭐ “Holy cr*p” you whisper
⭐ “oh my god” Sakusa mutters
⭐ “Why are you blushing?”
⭐ “Shut up Komori”
general taglist: @scrappydaisies​ @newfriendjen​  @kyomihann
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bymoonchild · 5 years
Text
Get You The Moon (M)
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Pairing | Taehyung x Reader Genre | Fluff, smut, angst / College!AU, enemies to lovers!AU, football!AU,  jock!Taehyung x student reporter!OC Warnings | Explicit language, sarcastic banter, dirty talk, blowjob, facefucking, eating out, cumplay, cum-dumpster, fingering, rough sex, slight dom!tae, spanking, degradation, unprotected sex, ass-pining, tae has the phattest ass and dick but wbk Summary | Life has its ways of fucking with you, but you know you’ve hit 50 feet below rock bottom after being tasked to do a profile feature on Kim Taehyung, the varsity football captain, for your school newspaper. Pure torment awaits you, but this is alongside glassy eyes, pink cheeks and conflicted feelings that you’ve never dared to imagine with the likes of the devil incarnate. Word count | 19.6k 
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“What a surprise, you’re alive.”
It is exactly that fake enthusiasm and subtle mirthful nuance that’s too familiar to your liking that gives rise to the arch of your eyebrow. You don’t even need to look up at the owner of the voice to picture the shit-eating smirk that belongs to none other than your editor-in-chief-slash-best-friend, Min Yoongi. Such morbid greetings have been long established as an inside joke between the two of you due to the peculiar sense of humour that you two share.
This is just how he likes to start his mornings. Being the systematic person he is, he has his own morning routine in the newsroom. Regardless of the pile of work on his desk, he’ll first make a beeline for his first cup of coffee of the day, after which he will come sauntering your way to provoke you with his laundry list of snarky remarks – about work, being tired, being alive and dead, about how bureaucracy sucks, the negative sides of capitalism and what not. Well, you two share a deep-seated sense of misanthropy so albeit provocative, his laments are refreshing in the morning – a literal morning boost of positivity from negativity.
“Not for long buddy,” you shrug, looking up from your laptop and your eyes land on Yoongi, who looks just as dead.
“I barely slept last night – was busy rushing my essays. Essays, might I repeat. So it would be great if you don’t have much for me today, although I know you have a kink for torturing me.”
At this, the edges of his lips curl up and you instantly register the meaning behind the sinister smile: your impending doom.
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I do have something for my most talented and gung-ho reporter and best friend.”
“Kindly elaborate,” you smile back acrimoniously, squinting your eyes in distrust.
“It involves a profile feature of a popular varsity athlete.”
An involuntary groan escapes your lips almost instantly. Athletes are the worst people to interview.
“That’s not even the worst part yet. As we’re celebrating the 50th anniversary of our publication this year, we’ll be doing a special spread on honorary members of the school, including club presidents, captains and valedictorians. Oh, which reminds me – maybe I should feature myself for being the most overworked Editor-In-Chief because this publication is sucking my entire soul, but anyway, I digress.”
He brings up his mug to his lips. It’s only 10am, but you wonder how many cups he has had, eyeing the pallor of his face.
“I’ve already assigned the other reporters their respective targets for the lack of a better word, and left the toughest nut for you to crack,” he grins smugly and that’s when it hits you.
Clocking you square in the face.
“Yoongi, no you didn—”
“Yoongi, yes,” his smirk widens at your aghast expression, “A profile feature on Kim Taehyung, for my most talented and hardworking reporter.”
Kim Taehyung.
Your biggest nemesis.
The boy who lives to torment you.  
Literally everyone in school and their mother (or their dog) knows him because 1) he’s quite a looker (he’s known for having a god damn symmetrical face and you’re honestly baffled and amazed at how people even took the time to check the degree of symmetry), 2) he’s the captain of the varsity football team (cue the huge hoo-ha about varsity captains), 3) he’s probably slept with everyone in school and their mother (okay, that’s an exaggeration, but he is a dumb fuckboy to the bone), and 4) he’s also the poster boy for the department of narcissistic and annoying fuckboys, star football player and all that jazz.
“What the fuck?”
You challenge the carefully hidden astonishment reflected in Yoongi’s eyes, disregarding how the other reporters in the newsroom have jumped in their seats at your abrupt outburst.
“You know I fucking hate him!”
Yoongi, per contra, does absolutely nothing to show the slightest of empathy, simply because he has none, and even finds the scowl on your face hilarious, “Which is exactly why you’re the perfect person for this story.”
“There must be someone else whom I can cover. Please, Yoongi – I really, really don’t want to take this up.”
“Listen,” he sighs, running his hand through his fingers and you know that signifies that his sigh is genuine, “As your friend, I’m really sorry that you’ve been assigned to this story, but there’s no one more suitable than you. No one does profiles as incredible as you. Look, you just need to follow him around for a week – observe how he is in class, what he does after class and how he performs on the field. I can promise that it won’t be that bad.”
You frown, “As my friend? Then… what about–”
You don’t miss the 180 change from his previous expression, the soft in his comforting smile replaced with a sneer that is all malign in a blink of an eye.
Panic starts to form a thick film in your throat.
Lowering his voice by two tones, he snarls, “As your Editor-In-Chief, I only have three words for you: suck it up. The journalism world is a dog-eat-dog world. You don’t and can’t choose your beats. What you can do is to go out there and come back with a story, or this newspaper is going to flop at your hands, along with your GPA.”
Such audacity.
You glare at him in disbelief, squinting your eyes at the sneer that’s still plastered on his face.
“As my friend,” you mimic, dragging each word, “Fuck you bitch.”
Sighing out loud with absolute disregard, you clench your fists to tamper down the vexation that threatens to escape your throat, “But for the sake of my GPA and this publication that is my precious baby, I’ll take this up. Very unwillingly though, I must add. But if he refuses to cooperate, he can suck my ass.”
“You have my seal of approval if you meant that literally.”
“Fuck off—”
“Anyways, you won’t need to worry about Tae. I contacted him just now – he’ll be expecting you at practice on Monday.”
You roll your eyes, “Tae? I can never understand how you two are close.”
He inches closer to taunt you further, “May I remind you that Tae and I literally grew up together in Daegu, so he’s like my little bro. Anyways, he also told me to tell you that he cannot wait to see you.”
Nose scrunched up in disgust, you groan out loud at the duality before you, before flipping your friend off and burying your head in your palms.
But as much as you hate to admit it, Yoongi’s right. You have to suck it up.
If doing this profile is the only way to save your GPA and the publication, to hell with your pride and Kim Taehyung. You’re going to do this story well and you’re going to make sure that nothing, absolutely nothing – including Kim Taehyung and his fuckboy antics – is going to fuck that up.
Not in this economy.
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Building up to Monday aka the Big Day as what Yoongi calls it, while you refer to it as the Day You Die), Yoongi has left you very specific instructions for the profile feature, expecting you to find some easy way out of this. He normally leaves you on your own, knowing that you’d always return with a solid piece that he won’t be able to find anything to nit-pick on. But for this task, he has ordered you to follow the boy around for a whole damn week and expects you to submit your voice recordings for accurate transcription.
Right from the get-go, you can already deem this profile to be the most stressful and frustrating piece in your entire journalism career. In other words, it’s a sham. A popularity stunt. A hoax. An opportunity to give Kim Taehyung even more clout and undeserving commendation than what the resident fuckboy deserves.
The day you finish your story will the best day of your life because you won’t ever need to interact with the said boy ever again.
To say that you hate him would be an understatement – sure, hate is a strong emotion, yadda yadda yadda, but the cacophony of arrogance and smugness that radiates off him makes your face scrunch up in disdain whenever he’s around. Though you would never allow him to have such power over you, he has tormented you countless of times with his shameless flirting whenever he has the chance to, and by simply existing and being his annoying, putrid self. You really don’t know why Taehyung has taken a liking to teasing you and pushing your buttons, ever since Yoongi introduced the two of you two years ago.
The sun is dripping down on the soccer field with delicacy, casting its golden light on the grass patch when Coach blows the whistle from the sidelines. Right in the heart of the field, Number 6 springs into action on the field, shouting commands at his teammates who listen to him intently.
Indeed, there are many other guys running all over the field, decked in the same jersey, but you could instantly recognise the outline of Taehyung’s ass, your eyes fixated on how the fabric of his shorts hugs his lower half like a second skin. Much to your dismay, one of your thirsty friends had hooked up with Taehyung last Christmas and didn’t allow you to forget the details of his bomb dick game and the thickness of his ass, so it’s fair to say that you have a good gauge of how his ass looks like. Not that you take pride in that knowledge though.
A smug smirk plays on his lips when he scores another goal as he instinctively pumps his fist to the air. You observe how he proceeds to run around the field, high-fiving and patting his teammates to spur them on.
Being the captain of the precious varsity football team, Kim Taehyung naturally carries an aura of confidence, which easily moulds into palpable cockiness. He’s infuriatingly talented and thus, his big ego sadly, and he also doesn’t have much of a filter and says anything that comes to mind. You’ve come to a conclusion that his language is an unfortunate concatenation of sexual jokes, sarcastic taunts and indolent mischief.
As if having sensed your gaze, he cranes his neck in the midst of practice and shoots you a seemingly innocent grin when he spots you standing awkwardly at the sidelines, hugging your notebook like they’re a piece of armour shield. But you know that there is more to his smile than just innocence. Still maintaining eye contact with you, he grabs the hem of his shirt to dry the sweat on his forehead and smirks in satisfaction when your face drops disgruntledly.
After calling for a five, he jogs up to you, his smile unwavering. Behind him, his teammates have all huddled together, pretending to drink up and talk amongst each other, but their eyes are all glued on the interaction between you and their captain.
“My my, look who we have here. Isn’t it my favourite girl cheering me on during practice?”
Taehyung’s awful voice pierces your eardrums, thick with honey and mixed with some other cloyingly sweet substances.
Your annoyance reaches its peak level as your eyes narrow to slits when he stops right in front of you.
You could leave right this instance. In fact, you very much want to, but your conscience is holding you back. While you’ve contemplated smoking your way for the profile one too many times, you know that Yoongi, being the smart shit he is, would be able to see through it (and also, Taehyung might just snitch on you) and the mere thought of a disappointed Yoongi just bites you.
“Look,” you spit, facing him properly for the first time, “I’m here against my own will because I have a story to write and that’s the only reason why I am even here. So I would very much appreciate it if you could quit acting like a jerk and let me do my job so I can leave ASAP.”
You’ve never been this up-close with Taehyung before, not when all you ever focus on around him is putting on your bitchiest expression, coming up with spiteful retorts, or pretending that you didn’t see him in the hallway which is actually impossible because he comes for you like a plague.
“Sssh, did you hear that?”
“Huh—”
“That’s the sound of you begging for my help.”
A taunting smirk inches its way onto the edges of Taehyung’s lips and you want to sock him in the face and wipe it off his lips. Your glare seems to only spur it to grow wider, as if somehow your clear distaste for him is amusing to him.
“Going to fake a quote for me again?” He continues, the shit-eating grin never leaving his face.
“If you continue pissing me off, I just might.”
For your previous article which involved having to interact with Taehyung, he had refused to answer your questions properly, spouting nonsense and idiotic pickup lines that served of no value to your article. You just needed a one-liner from the egotistical football captain, but all he did was obliterate your gossamer thin patience and last few braincells. Given his insistent reluctance to cooperate, you eventually made up a quote for him – something along the lines of “I don’t really think much about life – I just YOLO it because you know, YOLO” – and made sure that it reflected him badly.
The quote eventually became the unofficial quote of the year and it gives you so much satisfaction, knowing that it made a small dent on Taehyung’s reputation. On bad days, you’d think of the fake quote and laugh to yourself. Needless to say, he was enraged and even sent complaint emails to Yoongi for false reporting. Journalism ethics? You don’t know her.
“Oh yes, where were we?” He draws out each word with a smooth tone, unfazed, “We were talking about how I hold your fate in the palm of my hands, Princess.”
You hate that nickname he has for you. You don’t even remember when and how it started or what led to the nickname. Grunting out loud in abhorrence, you stop to contemplate kicking him in the shin and running away, but you lack the courage to carry out the former because if you’re to ever hurt the precious varsity captain, you can jolly well bid farewell to your collegiate life.
But before you can even take a step away, he stops you by blocking your passage with an even wider smirk. If he is fucking ecstatic at your rage, he’s determined on making sure that you’re well aware of it. 
“Seriously, if you don’t want to do this, let me know right now so we don’t waste each other’s time.”
“Oh Y/N,” he calls out dramatically and you cringe at how your name rolls off his tongue, “I did promise Yoongi-hyung about that profile, but I didn’t promise him that I won’t make your life a living hell.”
If it’s possible for your eyeballs to roll out of the socket, you’re pretty sure it would have already happened by now because Kim Taehyung is impossible.
“Okay,” you exhale, gathering your thoughts, “Then I will, for the better of mankind, start this civilly. But let me just say that I’ll take the mantle of being the bigger person here, which isn’t hard because you’re technically not a person.”
“Of course, I’m more than just a person,” he laughs and a devilish smirk, way too familiar against your own will, tugs at his lips, “I’m Kim Taehyung.”
“Did I ask? Can we just get this over and done with so that I can stop being around your despicable presence, stat.”
“Now, that’s not the way to treat your interviewee. Also, Yoongi said you’ll be following me around for a week. You’ll be around my ‘despicable presence’,” he holds up his fingers in the air to quote, “For an entire week. You think up for it, babe?”
He waggles his eyebrows with a mischievous glint blazing in his eyes, enjoying the scowl on your face.
“Fuck off, Kim.”
His eyes light up when he realises that he’s hit a nerve.
“Every breath you draw in my presence annoys the heck of me,” you edge, words slowing down to a pace that’s normally used on children.  
His large, almond eyes continue to regard you with keen interest.
“That’s funny. I thought that after all this while, you would be used to me scoring right into your goal.”
“Get your head out your ass.”
“Oh, I’ll have you know that I have a bomb ass. 10 out of 10 would tap.”
He laughs with an amused grin on his face, the same one he always has whenever he riles you up, finding entertainment in your fury. You hate his laughter. He’s always laughing, his smile huge and genuine and his out of this world personality knocking girls off-kilter. You hate it. Everything about it.
“What the fuck,” you spit scathingly, mouth agape in utter disbelief at the boy in front of you, or Satan himself wearing the flesh of a human.
You end up only asking two questions from your entire list of 15 questions, but it’s as though you’re stuck at square one because his answers are either half-assed or pure nonsense, and boy are you pissed.
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“Hey, you’re alive.”
You look up from your misery and see the very cause of the said misery, standing at the door with an eyebrow raised. You don’t miss the extra sarcastic bite to his voice and the irritating smirk on his face, but you’d like to believe that he’s actually impressed by your unyielding resilience.
“Highly arguable. Mentally, no, but physically, yes I am. Not for long though,” you grunt, tone imbued in sarcasm because you are seriously done with this profile feature and you can’t wait for this torture to end.
Lifting your tumbler, you suck on the dregs of your coffee and groan louder at how it’s no longer hot. Lukewarm coffee is like torture to the tongue, much more than burning your tongue. You’re one of the annoying customers who would request for extra hot coffee, because you simply can, and you’re used to them faking a smile and then rolling their eyes when they’ve turned on their backs.
“I take it that something happened?”
“Oh nothing,” you shoot him a sarcastic grin, “Except for the fact that the bastard just toyed with me and wasted my Monday evening. If this is how it’s going to be, I say that we stop immediately.”
“Oh come on, it’s just the first day! I get that Tae can be playful and says a lot of stupid things, but he’s actually a really nice dude.”
“I just don’t like him,” you mumble and your voice trails off upon realising that you sound like a bratty preschool kid who can’t get along with the others.
Yoongi scoffs at your remark to correct you, “You don’t like anybody.”
“As if you’re not the most misanthropic person I know.”
“Wow, this ain’t about me,” Yoongi throws his hands up in the air in faux-defeat, “This is about you and Taehyung. Can you at least tell me why you hate his guts?”
The empty remark that brews on the tip of your tongue dies instantly and all you can lamely mutter is, “Over my dead body.”
“Seriously? Why?”
“Because I’m embarrassed.”
“Wait, what? Did you embarrass yourself in front of him?” Yoongi urges with a confused frown, but your lips are still sealed.
“Something like that.”
“Would you be so kind as to elaborate on that?”
“Nope, continue suffering.”
He rolls his eyes in disbelief, before flipping you the bird.
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The next two mornings, you find yourself dragging yourself across the campus and past the newsroom, just to show up at the football field. Upon your arrival, the entire team ditches their warmup session and falls into a collective silence, openly gawking at you and your every movement. The sudden change in the atmosphere elicits an uncomfortable shiver to crawl up your spine. Looks like your social anxiety is about to have a field day.
“Captain, you have a visitor!”
One of the boys hollers with a playful glint in his voice, breaking the silence. At that, some teammates instantly gather in their own circles to whisper to one another, while some discuss your presence without bothering to be discrete. Is this… a jock version of Mean Girls?
“Tae! Your girl is here again!” Another dude shouts and you turn around to shoot a glare at the owner of the voice, eyebrows furrowed.
“Call me his girl one more time and I’ll make sure your legs won’t make it to finals.”
“Damn, a feisty babe. Noice.”
Another guy comes up to you – Jungkook, you recognise him because he’s in one of your classes. His build towers over you, while he flashes you a small, shy smile and you can’t deny that he is pretty cute with his dimples and doe eyes, which makes him look like a little bunny, but all hope is irrevocably lost when he opens his mouth.
“Hey, I think I lost my number. Can I get yours?”
“Seriously?”
The earlier guy who calls you feisty butts in, “If Taehyung isn’t fucking you right, call me yeah? I’ll make you feel real goo—”
“Minjae, leave her alone.”
You hear a displeased grunt from behind you and turn around to an annoyed Taehyung. His grip on the football in his hand tightens, before he shoves it roughly at Minjae, throwing his teammate off completely.
“Guys, please leave Y/N alone. She’s here to interview me, so I’d appreciate it if you could keep it in your pants and have some decency or respect for yourself.”
The boys instantly mutter a sorry, the peculiar sharp undercurrent of their captain’s voice has them heaving themselves upright in alarm.
You turn your head slightly to look at Taehyung, who’s wearing a vexed frown on his face – well that’s a first for someone who is joking around and laughing. Seeing his strong side profile irks the fuck out of you because someone this attractive shouldn’t be such a big nuisance. What an unfortunate waste. Of course, you would rather be impaled than admit this.
“If you don’t go back to warmups, you’re getting another 5 more laps around the field!” He raises his voice to the entire team and they scramble back to their warmup positions like ants.
After making sure that the team is back on the grind, he spares you another look and leads you to an empty bench away from the warmup area.
“Pretty sure you could have handled it yourself, but you looked uncomfortable,” he smiles apologetically, resting his hand on the back of his neck.
“Well, if you didn’t make me wait, I wouldn’t have needed to go through that.”
“I was helping this freshman who needed extra help with his dribbling. It’s a one-on-one thing so we were in the clubroom.”
“Whatever, it’s cool.”
“Anyways… I got an earful from Yoongi-hyung this morning. He said that I was being too annoying yesterday, so yeah, sorry about that…” His voice trails off and for once, the smile playing on his lips is sheepish, instead of a cocky one.  
“Huh?”  
“I said I’m sorry. And also for my teammates’ behaviour. Don’t know why they act like this every time they see a girl on the field.”
“D-Did you just apologise to me? Is everything okay, like you know, with your brain?”
“What?” He scoffs, but the smile on his face still remains, “I’m not an asshole. I will apologise if I crossed the line.”
“Kim, not to burst your bubble, but you’ve crossed the line with your annoying and rude ass self since the beginning of time.”
And there it is again. That little grin tugging softly at his lips as his eyes lock themselves on yours.
“Not going to lie, that’s part of my charm.”
You hastily ignore the stirrings of intrigue in your chest, deciding to stop with the chit-chat, “Yeah sure. Let’s just start with the interview. I’ve got a class in an hour.”
He extends an arm to gesture you to sit down on the bench, while he settles down beside you and leans back in an elegant slouch, one ankle crossed over a knee.
“So, let’s talk about the freshmen players this year. Anyone potential successors yet? Do you have a lot of one-on-one trainings?”
“Wow, we playing 20 questions now?”
“Kim,” you sigh loudly with every intention of making sure that he knows how done you are, “I’m literally here to interview you. If I don’t ask questions, then what’s the point.”
“I was just kidding!” He throws his head back with a chuckle, “All right, shoot me with your best shot.”
“Okay,” you clear your throat, “You’re called the dark horse of the school. How do you feel about that?
“Do you like horses?”
“What?”
“Bet you’ll like mine.”
You cup your face in your palm, as your heaving suspire lowers into an interminable groan, “Kim Taehyung. Before I—”
“Hmmm, so a dark horse…” he begins slowly, “I think it’s a respectable and fulfilling title. It’s when you amaze them with how unexpectedly good you are. It’s about really proving your competence to everyone who didn’t think highly of you before, so I’ll take it with pride and satisfaction.”
You nod your head as he speaks and when he finishes his sentence, you ask with a raised eyebrow, “Practiced that much?”
“Every day before I go to bed.”
“Clearly.”
“Well, I can show you first-hand.”
“You fucking wish.”
Thankfully, Taehyung gradually stops playing around and actually starts answering your questions properly without giving bullshit answers or making suggestive remarks.
At your last question about his legacy in school, he even elaborates without any prompters and you gratefully take everything down, nodding once in a while when he brings up a good point.
“Wow, you’re writing all these down while I’m talking? Can I see?”
You casually hand him your notebook and he gapes dramatically at the notes you’ve taken.
“These are just scribbles, but they’ll help with transcribing later on.”
“Wow I have to say, I’m impressed and also a little turned on right now.”
Rolling your eyes for the nth time in disbelief, you grunt, “Kim, you do know that you’re still being recorded, right?”
“Of course,” he smirks, raising instant flags for mischief etched across his lips, “Here’s a little note for Y/N who will listen to this when she gets home – I think she’s hot as fuck.”
“You’re shameless.”
Laughter bellows from his lungs, “That I am. I’m not going to deny it.”
Afterwards, he offers to take you for a tour around the clubroom, showing you the medals and trophies that the team has snagged over the years. As he elaborates on the trajectory of the varsity team, the noisy chatter of other students outside fades into background noise like timing in your ears.
He shows you a picture of the team taken from two years ago and your eyes nearly pop out at how small and out of place freshman Taehyung looks. He’s grinning widely at the camera, surrounded by his poker-faced burly seniors, painfully sticking out like a sore tongue, even more so with his scrawny build.
“You look way too happy in the picture that I actually have second-hand embarrassment,” you mutter, but Taehyung manages to catch it.  
“Hey! I was an excited freshie and they didn’t tell me it was a formal picture.”
When you leave the clubroom that day, you take along with you new knowledge about Kim Taehyung. Firstly, you learn that he has only been playing football for two years, which comes off as a shock and almost a form of embarrassment when compared to the other guys with at least a decade of football experience, thus deserving the title of a dark horse. He’s always been more of an arts dude, but he got sucked into the sport when he and his best friend from high school Jimin walked past the football tryouts during orientation.
Secondly, either his cologne or shampoo has a fruity undertone and this is derived from the fact that he is suddenly standing so close to you that you can feel the warmth of his breath and see each glimmer of darkness that surfaces in his orbs, alongside the humming warmth radiating off of his body.
A chill runs down your spine and your heart starts slamming against your chest out of nowhere at the proximity. You’re not used to being so physically close to him and you try not to think about how his alluring scent has you biting the inside of your cheek.
Taehyung seems to know his effect on you because his lips start to spread into a wolfish grin, inching closer to you.
“Your fuckboy antics won’t work on me, Kim.”
Your voice doesn’t come off as strong as you wanted it to, but you hope that he doesn’t catch on.
“You sure about that, princess?” His breath fans out across your cheeks when he speaks, causing instant warmth to scatter over your skin in the rise of gooseflesh.
Irritation bubbles like a brook throughout your entire body.
It’s taking every single willpower of yours not to headbutt him in the face. You desperately want to, but because you’re obviously the bigger person here and you need to prevent yourself from being expelled from school, you could only jab your finger harshly at his chest.
“Try it on another chick, yeah?”
He uncoils from his slouch and rises to his full height, exuding a smug superiority.
“What if you’re the only one I want to try it on?” He teases, his voice echoing with timber, rich and velvet.
You shoot him a leer, accompanied with the imaginary daggers to his face, trying to ignore the steadfast flutter in your belly. By the anger that undulates from your pinched features, he knows he’s left you tongue-tied, and this only spurs his grin to widen, your clear distaste for him a pure entertainment and amusement to him.
“I hate you.”
You grit, but your voice comes out as a mere squeak. You feel like burying yourself from the weight of his longing gaze. Clearing your throat, you push the strange flutter that’s settling in your belly as you hoist your bag over your shoulder and speed-walk away from him, missing the way he smiles at your departing silhouette.
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The shift in Taehyung’s demeanour on the field is beyond commendable, almost palpable to everyone who has their eyes on him. When he’s on the field, there is no fooling around, only the giving of his one hundred and one percent to the game.
Moving agilely with astounding precision, you observe how his sun-kissed skin shimmers with a thin sheen of sweat on his neck, while his eyes sparkle with intensity.
All right. There is some truth that Taehyung looks kind of cool (do people still use that word to describe someone?) and charismatic like this, all serious and immersed in the game. You just wonder if he could be the same when answering your questions.
His brown mop of tousled locks is damp, parted haphazardly, while his jersey clings onto his frame, drenched with perspiration. His biceps strain against the fabric and the veins on his exposed forearms are given prominence when he grabs onto the ball with his fingers effortlessly. Taehyung’s not the buffest, but he is lean with just a nice amount of toned muscles.
When your eyes trail further south for an infinitesimal moment, his tight football pants accentuating the swell of his thighs and the curve of his ass on full display come into view.
Fuck. Your eyes divert back up to his face when you realise what you’ve been gawking at. As the sun hikes up in the sky, it casts a pretty golden glow on his profile, highlighting his sun-kissed skin. You push away the sensation of a small bud blooming in your chest when you meet his gaze, especially when he shoots you his signature boyish smile, a foil to your frown.
Well, looks like someone is happy to see you.
A disconcerting feeling starts to stir in the pit of your stomach when Taehyung approaches you without wiping that smile off his face.
“Good job for surviving two and a half days with me. You ready for today?”
“Replying yes or no literally won’t make a difference at all.”
Shrugging, you lift your tumbler to sip on your coffee before pulling a face.
“Fuck,” you curse quietly under your breath, unexpecting Taehyung to catch it but he does.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing… My coffee isn’t hot anymore.”
“Oh—”
“I bought this tumbler not long ago and it’s supposed to be good at trapping heat, but it just sucks and it was kind of expensive? I’m so angry I need to get another one—”
You stop your rant abruptly when you realise that Taehyung’s been staring at you quietly. He even urges you to continue with a nod of his head.
“Sorry, I’m oversharing.”
It’s not your fault that you tend to get too passionate when talking about your distaste for lukewarm coffee. For something that’s your bloodline, it has to be the right temperature, or else.
“Is that your pet peeve?”
You nod, “You can’t judge me though, or I’ll punch you.”
“It’s cool. If your greatest nemesis is lukewarm coffee—”
“Wrong. My greatest nemesis is the boy who’s currently talking to me right now.”
“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” he rolls his eyes in faux-annoyance, “I absolutely detest coffee, big ass pills that I can’t swallow, and bread crusts.”
“Wait,” you stare at him pointedly in a cursory silence. “You don’t like coffee?”
“Nah, never liked the bitter taste.”
“Okay…” You drag your word out, “But you can just add sugar? Not that I do, I like it bitter. But please elaborate on the big ass pills and bread crusts. For a big boy like you, I have to say that this is pretty amusing.”
Laughter rises in Taehyung’s lungs at the pure confusion on your face, “I can’t swallow pills. Used to always puke them out. I usually crush them and yes, I know it tastes even worse but really, how else can I take my medicine? And bread crusts? Incardinate of evil. I’m really picky when it comes to bread.”
You can’t help but laugh at his dramatic expression. You don’t think you’ve ever had a proper chat with Taehyung that didn’t include insults, remarks, or retorts of any kind.
“You’re one weird boy, Kim.”
The conversation carries on smoothly, tucking itself into every available space, and you’ve got to admit that not only is Taehyung not bad at holding a conversation, he’s also a decent listener and listens quietly when necessary. This really piques your curiosity – maybe Yoongi’s right about him, maybe there is indeed a decent side to him. You’re just not sure why Taehyung loves to push your buttons. It’s as if he wants you to give him the time of day.
From your periphery, you realise that Taehyung’s looking straight at you and you freeze at the weight of his piercing gaze, feeling hot all of a sudden. A stunned silence encompasses the space between you, sitting heavily in your lungs.
After mustering up some courage, you look up to meet his eyes to reciprocate his actions, but your gaze diverts to the ground when you realise that his eyes are piercing right into your soul, like they’re searching or yearning for something.
“Kim,” you clear your throat awkwardly, “What are you doing?”
“Looking at you,” he replies matter-of-factly, his intense gaze never leaving your face. You want to bury yourself alive when you feel a persistent heat simmering under your skin, tinging your cheeks a translucent pink.
“And may I know why?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” The right corner of his lips curls up into a smirk. He’s raising a challenge.
“Spit it out.”
“Do I say the truth or?”
“Not that bold after all, huh?”
“Well,” he opens his mouth again with a devious little gleam in his eyes, “I was thinking about kissing you.”
You don’t miss how he is openly gawking at your lips and your eyes instinctively rest on his as well, which are somewhere between the colour of peaches and cherries. You’re not sure of what washes over you, but your mouth takes the better of you. And for the first time, your words aren’t clogged in your throat.
“Do it then.”
You look at him through your lashes, dark and coy, eyebrow raised, testing the very limits of Taehyung’s restraint.
The erratic beating of his heart is in sync with yours, but it increases within a second when you notice his gaze fall back on your lips from your eyes. Suddenly, this sparks your curiosity and all you can think about is how good Taehyung’s would feel on yours.
“W-What?”
“Do it, Taehyun—”
Before you could even mutter his name, his lips are suddenly smashed against yours.
Goosebumps rise on your skin in its wake when his tongue grazes along the flesh of your lower lip, and you, suddenly so enthralled by the boy in front of you, part your mouth to meet him halfway.
You don’t know how long it has been. With his lips pressed against yours, you lose track of time, watch it fly away in the form of the licks on your mouth. Taehyung slackens his jaw to deepen the kiss, cupping your face with his hands to bring you closer to him. His tongue brushes against the underside of yours and then he recedes slightly before tangling for dominance.
Your name leaves his swollen lips in a dulcet whisper, causing your heart to spike in your chest and your stomach to unravel and knot again. You press your palm over your chest to calm the injured patter of your heart against the depths of your stomach.
The way his eyelashes that are almost impossibly thick and dark flutter just a fraction with each breath, brushing slightly against your nose and you squirm at the intimacy of the moment.
When he finally parts away, you feel like you’ve been electrocuted. But your stomach drops again when a pretty blush blooms over Taehyung’s face, crossing the bridge of his nose and spreading over his cheekbones. His hands continue to rest on your shoulders, but his touch is so hot and tantalising that it makes you want to melt.
Taehyung has always called bullshit on all those romance novels that rave about how lips can taste as sweet as strawberries. But you taste like the strawberries from his grandparents’ farm – sweet and delectable.
When he licks his lips again, he shudders when his senses register the honey musk of you and the ghost of your afternoon coffee. He hates bitter coffee with a passion, but you taste so fucking sweet. Overly saccharine that he feels dizzy.
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You don’t talk about the incident the previous night and you’re grateful that Taehyung doesn’t act any differently. It was most probably the adrenaline that took over you and also perhaps your curiosity because you’re a reporter and reporters are supposed to be nosey, curious and also dreaming about kissing the varsity soccer team’s captain. Yep, absolutely.  
Your pride be damned. While it kills you to admit it, it’s common knowledge to everyone in the fucking school that Taehyung is just really nice to look at, be it when he dons his jersey, a button up or his colourful printed clothes. There is no doubting his ravishing features – his sharp nose, big almond eyes, long eyelashes, perky lips and the little moles that adorn his face.
Unbeknownst to you, you cross paths with Taehyung in a day more often than you think you do. Too often for your own good. Most of the time, you can hear him before he comes into view. His boisterous laughter that highlights a lilting charm to his low voice fills your ears like a plague. It is as though he has intended to haunt you with his loud presence. And though you’ve already made up your mind to avoid him unless it’s necessary to spare him a glance, it’s quite impossible. After all, you have one job – and that is to follow Taehyung for a week.
“Hey Princess!”
You could almost hear the sneer hidden in his coo and envision it with perfect clarity, that infuriating spark in his eye whenever he manages to rile you up. You don’t turn around, your feet bringing you further away from him, but eventually come to a halt when he jogs up to you, blocking your way of passage.
“Princess!”
“I heard you the first time.”
“And you still ignored me? I’m hurt.”
“What do you want?” You grunt loudly, having absolutely no qualms about showing your displeasure.
He slings his football bag over his right shoulder and smiles, “You know, you shouldn’t be mean to a person who just bought you coffee.”
“Wha—”
With a goofy smile pulling at his lips, he pushes a tumbler towards you that was initially hidden behind his back.
“You said you don’t like lukewarm coffee and a styrofoam cup wouldn’t keep it warm by the time I pass it to you, so I got you a tumbler… Besides, you said yours wasn’t good so I figured that I’ll just get you a new one.”
Warmth violently flares in the full of your cheeks, tipping your ears pink at his words. You try not to let the fact that he remembers get to you, but he fucking remembers.
You are a college student to the bone. Turning your back on coffee would be a sin. But coffee from Taehyung? In a tumbler that he purposely bought because he fucking remembers what you said?
“How—”
He beams, simpering at your speechless self. He thinks your shocked expression is adorable, doing nothing for the wildfire claiming the land of his chest.
“Did you, like, stalk me or something?”
“Pfft. Maybe?” He runs a hand through his hair with a lopsided smile, eyes filled with mirth.
“You’re so weird.”
Despite being surrounded by the steaming, teeming mass of students in the crowded hallway, the moment you two share is as private and as comforting as sitting on the sideline bench alone.
“Enjoy your coffee! This tumbler has very good reviews, I checked! So your coffee should be still hot. If not, text me and I’ll give them a bad review.”
“W-What? Tae—”
Before you could call out for him, he has already scrambled away and blended in with the crowd. You deadpan mentally when you realise that the entire hallway is gawking at you and the tumbler around your hand. But what’s more alarming is the strange tightness in your chest and the warm, tingling feeling coursing through your fingertips that you can’t get rid of.
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You start learning random things about Taehyung beyond just football and general facts that everyone knows about him. It’s surreal how drastically your relationship with Taehyung has changed over the past few days. While snarky ripostes and greasy comments (from Taehyung, of course) are still exchanged, talking and listening to each other, or just being with each other, feels almost natural to you. But you’re no longer at each other’s throats and his annoying retorts have significantly decreased.
The daily meetings bring the two of you into line: by tacit and unconscious consent, you two have begun to weave a space for each other in your lives, forming a joint narrative like a breeze in the boughs, hanging in the spaces in between the two of you.
He was telling you about how he likes comparing his cheeks to bread buns, and he likes to stuff his cheeks when he eats, and that his grandparents would get upset if he returns to his hometown with sunken cheeks. You don’t realise that you’ve been grinning this entire time listening to him ramble on about his cheeks, but your smile grows even wider at Taehyung’s lock screen when his phone lights up from a notification.
“Oh my god, is that a dog?”
“Yes!” He exclaims, a little too loudly and shoves his phone in your face, “Say hi to Yeontan! Isn’t he just adorable?”
Your heart jumps at his excited smile and the tinges of pure adoration dancing in his orbs.
“Aww, he looks like a little ball of fluff.”
“He is! But he can also be very grumpy. Like you.”
“Did you just compare me to a dog?” You fold your arms fold over your chest in faux-rage.
“Such audacity!” He raises his palm to his chest with a gasp, feigning indignation. “He’s not just a dog. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me ever since I saw him at the shelter.”
“Shelter?”
“Oh, I volunteer at a shelter for abandoned and stray pets every month. You know, Yeontan was actually abandoned by his previous owner and I don’t know, I just had to take him in? I would take all the animals at the shelter if I could, to be honest. Maybe next time. Anyways, let me show you more pictures! I have an album full of his pictures.”
“Dude…”
“Don’t be like that. I already have a Yeontan who gets super unenthusiastic whenever I show him pictures of other dogs. I think he’s jealous.”
A small smile tugs at your lips and the edges of his lips start to curl up to a semblance of a smile as well.
“Well, Yeontannie sure is one lucky dog.”
“More like I am one lucky boy,” he beams, flashing his honey bread cheeks in all their glory.  
There’s no denying the sweet quiet of Taehyung’s presence when he’s not making stupid remarks, and this is expounded by how time seems to forget about its own existence these few days. Before you know it, it’s already dark and you’re soon packing up to head back home.
“I’ll need you to go through some fact-checking with you tomorrow. You free around 6pm?”
“Shit, I think I have something on,” Taehyung pouts, fishing out his phone from his pocket, “Let me check.”
“Oh, then it’s fine—”
“Do you want me to cancel it?”
“No! No, it’s fine!”
“It’s okay, I can just postpone it—”
“That’ll mean that you’re cancelling for me.... and you know, you don’t have to.”
“It’s just dinner with Jimin. Fact-checking is important for your article, right?” He says quietly, while his eyes come slowly round and rivet themselves upon your face.
You don’t miss the twinkle in his eyes, igniting a blaze deep in your bones and washing your senses away. All of a sudden, your throat feels constricted, breaths coming out short. You’re hyperaware of how close he is and to be honest, you feel like you’re standing in a room that’s on fire, too hot for the chilly evening which has a very high chance of rain.  
Even if you continue to insist that you despise him, you can’t help but admit that somewhere deep down, something between the two of you is now different. 
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Exhaustion creeps up onto Taehyung, the pain in his arms manifested in his back as well, gradually sneaking into his legs until all his limbs are aching and stiff. Hunched over on a bench, he grits his teeth in frustration, nails digging the skin of his palms, while hot tears threaten to spill.
On Friday, you’ve walked into the team huddled in a circle, frowns all over their faces, a congealing tension evident in the air. From the clamour, it seems that one of the boys have gotten injured during practice and the team was split into two on who to be held responsible and whether there was any foul play involved.
From the sidelines, you watch Taehyung order everyone to shush and makes everyone sit down for a deconflict session. He appears surprisingly calm and addresses the issue in a collected manner. Afterwards, he invites the team to share about how they feel, allowing the conflict to openly spoken about and viewed from different perspectives. He listens attentively, like he always does with you, and speaks clearly and practically, easing the tension in the air till their teammates start coming to a consensus.  
When he sees you standing at the sidelines, he gives you a small smile that you easily see through and approaches you after making sure that his teammates are cool with one another and reminds them that whatever happens on the field stays in the field.
“So um,” you begin quietly, treading carefully around his feelings, “Are fights like that common?”
You already know the answer from looking at the size of the dark bags under his eyes. He is slowly breaking down, but still holding tightly onto the carefree façade that he puts on for show, for the team. It’s also mid-terms period and from the earlier interviews, you remember that he is on a scholarship that he cannot afford to lose because his parents are struggling to send his other siblings to school as well.
Contrary to popular belief, Taehyung isn’t an open book. He’s more of a sealed book, covered in dust and trapped in a forgotten corner of a bookstore. He has his own elusive way of dealing with ways, befriending people, treasuring the people and things around him, but he has also his own way of hiding his feelings. He hates the idea of being vulnerable with people.
He is a combination of hot and cold – sometimes you feel like he’s an old friend because of the emotional compatibility and his comfortable presence, but sometimes, he just goes back to being the cocky fuckboy he is. Maybe that’s just part of the jock persona – to deceive people into thinking that he’s more than that. But in all honesty, that’s not Taehyung and you wouldn’t compartmentalise him like that or homogenise him as just another fuckboy no matter how much you dislike him.
You think you’d know him quite well from having shadowed him the past week. It has come to your realisation that you’re no longer at each other’s throats and his annoying retorts have significantly decreased, but you’re not sure whether it’s because he’s just tired from everything to go out of his way to be annoying. But you don’t have any complaints.  
He lets out a dry chuckle at your question, his words sounding sugar crystalised and rough in his throat, “Are you asking this as a friend or as a reporter?”
“We’re friends?”
“We–”
Some threads of a biting remark begin to sew themselves together in his mind, but he stops instantly, too tired to really fabricate anything, much less bother to speak.
“Taehyung,” you call out after drawing a furtive breath, “Don’t doubt yourself. You’re a great friend and captain.”
Your soft and sincere tone permeates through Taehyung’s every last prickle of frustration, especially when you offer him a reassuring smile, “What you did out there was one of the selfless acts I’ve ever seen in a leader. And this should mean something, you know, considering that it’s coming from me.”
“Of course I am, I’m actually nicer than I look.”
“I know you’re kidding, but I’m trying to be serious here and on the off chance you’re not, fuck off.”
He remains quiet.  
“I’m serious though. It’s obviously not easy being the captain, but it’s clear that you have rightfully earned the respect from all your teammates. You handled it quite well without being biased or losing your cool.”
“I did?” His tone, deep in timbre, is so quietly surprised that it gnaws at your heart.
“Yeah.”
“Conflicts like that are a daily occurrence,” he mumbles, “But they can really break or make our teamwork and… the momentum for me as their captain, so I have to try? I have to be responsible for my guys.”
You watch how a cocky smirk instantly settles itself on his lips right after you think that he has opened up, “But I might be just great at forming relationships and team-bonding.”
“Judging from how you treat the girls around you, I don’t think that’s completely true.”
“Girls around me?”
“You’re a fuckboy. I don’t think it’s safe to say that your relationships with girls are great.”
“It’s just sex, no big deal.”
“And that gives you the right to play with their feelings?”
“Of course not, we just hook up that’s all. No hard feelings. It’s just sex with no strings attached and they all know it. Before I hook up with someone, I make it very clear that I’m not looking for anything serious. Just meaningless sex and fun.”
“Okay, but let’s say for example, a girl does end up falling for you. Is that solely her fault?”
He stops to think.
“For now, I just don’t wish to get involved in anything serious. I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with feelings.”
You scrunch your nose up in distaste when Taehyung shrugs his shoulders casually, dismissing the conversation.
You’re not someone who is easily lost for words, always quick to retort with a witty comeback, especially when it’s with Taehyung. But this time, all you could mutter is an “I see”, before pretending to focus on writing on your notepad. For some reason, you feel like your heart just took a dip. The thought of him playing around with girls leaves a bad taste in your mouth, but you can’t comprehend why. Since when did you care what Taehyung does with his life? You never did before.
Maybe it’s because at the back of your mind, you know that your said example might not exactly be one. Maybe.
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Sunday arrives quicker than ever. In retrospect, you know this day would come – in fact, you’ve been waiting for this day ever since Yoongi assigned you the profile. But there’s just something – sort of a difference in the air surrounding you and Taehyung – that kneads at your heart about this coming to an end. Whatever this is.
He doesn’t say a word when you take a sip from the tumbler that he gave you, but you’re pretty sure that the way his eyes instantly lit up with a smile to match says it all.
“Oh right! Have you eaten breakfast? I, um,” he coughs awkwardly, hand scratching the back of his hand with a nervous smile, “made some sandwiches this morning.”
He turns around to his sports bag and fishes out a lunchbox, “Strawberry cream sandwiches!”
“My grandparents own a strawberry farm, so I get all the best strawberries!” He beams, and his eyes turn into little sparkly crescents. At that, your heart skips in two, one half in your throat and the other down in your gut.
“Not to be biased, but these are the tastiest and sweetest strawberries ever. Oh! After Japanese strawberries, but don’t tell my grandparents. They’ll be sad.”
“Anyways, try it,” he hands you a sandwich and you take a moment to observe how it screams Kim Taehyung at his finest. He has trimmed the bread crusts (his nemesis) and added a shit ton of cream cheese.
Taehyung’s crescent-like eyes are now staring straight into you as he watches you bite into the sandwich, anticipating for your reaction. There’s something in his gaze that makes your limbs heavy. It makes you feel trapped and lost in the depths of his eyes, warm and inviting.
You smile at the sweet and sour taste and he literally jumps with joy, flashing his honeyed cheeks.
“It’s good, right?” He chirps, beckoning you to eat more and you ignore how Taehyung’s cheeks are fully stuffed and how he chews with a natural pout on his lips.
For a moment, the world seems to be out of space and time as you sit on the bench, savouring the sweetness of everything. Taehyung is looking at you and the moment is lengthening. He becomes severely tongue-tied, no longer knowing what to say, but yearns for this moment to stay the way it is.  
“Nice weather, huh?”
“Talking about the weather now?” You ask in a bemused tone and he puffs, rolling his eyes playfully, but the growing tingle of pink on his cheeks doesn’t escape your notice.
“I-I mean... It’s nice.”
A softness settles into the lines of Taehyung’s face, and you can’t bring yourself to look away when his eyes land on yours, “It’s nice being here with you.”
And he means it. He generally feels good around you. He isn’t an anxious or socially awkward person, and he’s got tons of friends, but he still finds himself putting on a mask with most of them. A slightly louder, a more playful and enthusiastic version of himself. He almost always becomes the life of the party, the person who makes things easier and more comfortable for everyone else – breaking the silence, making jokes, drawing people out of their shells and easing them into conversations. He likes being that kind of person.
But it does get tiring, sometimes.
He likes being quiet, sometimes.
Sometimes, he just likes to curl up on the couch in his PJs and not feel like he has to be Funny! Loud! And gregarious! All at once. On some days, he just wants to laze around and watch anime till his eyes bleed. On some days, he just wants to be a normal college student without a team to manage and reputation to uphold.
You roll your eyes at his sudden confession, hoping that the warmth that sits high on your cheeks isn’t that obvious, but it probably is, from the way your heart ensnares at how Taehyung’s lips are stretched so widely across his face, his crescent eyes crinkling so adorably that you find yourself smiling too.
“You’re a loser,” you tease, shoving him lightly.
Then Taehyung is laughing, highlighting the undertones of oak and berries. He is laughing so hard that his stomach hurts and his chest aches with a drumming sound against his ribcage. Soon, laughter pokes its way across your glassy eyes, with tinges of amusement waltzing in your orbs, and pink cheeks and you’re doubling over him, with tears in your eyes and nose all scrunched up. Taehyung is holding onto you and the moment is lovely, everything is lovely.
You’re lovely.
Taehyung raises his arm to ruffle your hair, stirring up a mini tornado within you and chuckles again when you jump slightly.
“Gotta say that I’d miss having you around. You and your pesky presence. Can’t believe a week just went by just like that.”
“Rude,” you half-heartedly taunt, pushing his hand away, while a corner of your mouth curls up in retaliation.
“It was fun being your side hoe though. Do you know how many glares I’ve received by strangers, literally girls I’ve never seen before in my entire life, in the hallway? Imagine the power I have.”
“What side hoe?” He chuckles boyishly and your breath hitches, “You’re as good as my main.”  
Your heart pulses erratically in your chest, cheeks flushed with a warmth that matches the one that blooms in your heart. The way he makes your heart soar terrifies the fuck out of you.
“Not sure if I should feel honoured.”
“You know, I actually don’t know how we ended up like this. You hated me for the longest time and now we’re sitting here.”
“I did hate you, all right.”
“You have such a personality.”
“That’s another way of calling me a bitch.”
“As in… vibrant, colourful, I don’t know how else to describe you. You’re rude and endearing at the same time – it’s weird.”
The most adorable of smiles form on his face as he lets out a wholehearted laugh, it makes your insides melt.
A grin moulds on your face that resembles his own, “And you’re still a huge pain in the ass.”
“Still a bomb ass that I’ll tap.”
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Later in the day, you receive a text from Taehyung. It’s not the first time that he has texted you. But little did you know that he would be a freaking double texter.
[from annoying ass jock] [18:49] hey you [18:49] do you want to grab dinner [18:49] i am very hungry right now lol [18:49] i mean you’re probably hungry unless you’ve eaten? [18:49] take this as a goodbye dinner, celebratory dinner wtv [18:51] feel free to say no tho HAHAHAHA
[you] [18:53] stfu I wasn’t going to say no [18:53] clam down [18:54] i’m kinda craving for a good burger and cheese fries
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The night passes by smoother and faster than expected. Maybe it’s because you don’t realise the possibility of it being a date. The way Taehyung has asked you for dinner seems rather impromptu, so you’ve completely eliminated the idea of it being a date.
On the other hand, Taehyung himself knows that this is a date. While you’re cutting into your burger, he is furiously chewing on his fries, struggling to believe that you had even taken up his absurd offer of eating dinner together. On a Friday evening. With him. Is it a sign of peace? Or even something more?
He offers to walk you back to your dorm after that, telling you that he needs to walk off his burger. When he walks side-by-side with you, you focus at how he is so tall, how his height literally hovers over you, doing nothing but darkening the pink high on your cheeks.
When he stops in his track abruptly, you have to tilt your head upwards to look at his face, and each passing streetlamp casts his already golden skin in an orange glow, throwing tiny suns in his eyes into orbit.
Tonight is a little different.
The way he’s looking at you is a little different.
He takes your palms into his and starts playing with your fingers, allowing the two of you to stew and bask in the quiet contentment of the night.
His other hand rests gingerly on your waist, before bringing you closer to him. Then you find his lips graze the shell of your ear and shudder at his warm breath on your skin, inviting the rise of gooseflesh to scatter all over your body.
Your mind goes blank. All you can only think about how his touch on your waist burns, how ticklish his breath is on your face, and how there are little awakening tingles that shoot up your spine every time his skin comes into contact with yours. How he’s so gentle with you as if you’re a delicate piece of art.
How much you want him to kiss you.
Honestly, it takes you by surprise how much you actually want him to do just that, how much you’ve unconsciously thought about this so often that you can already imagine the ghost of his fingers down the cleft of your chin.
A fizzle of electricity runs down your spine when he brings your hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to each finger, before he brushes over your knuckles to intertwine his fingers with yours.
He’s looking at you with as much certainty as you know that he’s going to sweep in and kiss you. You offer him a smile, and it is all the reassurance Taehyung needs before he leans in to press his lips against yours. Something akin to fireworks explodes inside you, colouring your insides and nerves with rainbow sparks. It makes you feel so alive.
The gentle brush of skin becomes static charge. He takes his time with you and kisses you like he’s always had the intention of doing so, like this isn't a spur of the moment catastrophe. Like he wants more of you, needs a taste of what he’s been yearning for the longest time.
You are abstrusely drawn to Taehyung. Like planets condemned by gravity to collide, you two have become yoked as one. It’s the headiness of his scent, the taste of his lips, his tongue that carefully darts over your bottom lip and seeks entrance. It’s the way he’s kissing you, so different, so soft and gentle, like it’s grounded in something you can’t quite place, compared to the first kiss.
Taehyung’s lips are soft like the cup of his hands around your face, but it is the settling of the repeated brush of his mouth against yours that makes you almost melt into the ground.
Nipping lightly at your lower lip, his lips curl up into a smirk when he hears a gasp escape from your mouth, your heart ricocheting in your chest.  
It’s an amalgamation of teeth, hidden feelings and pure adoration that are coming to a head and finally bursting – absolutely everything you wanted and more. But even when your tongues tangle with one another, it is more sensual and romantic than hasty and lustful.
The night is upon you when he parts from you moments later, allowing you to catch the breaths that have escaped from your now swollen-red lips and come down from your highs. You’re staring at him with eyes laced with fondness, before he leans in to meet your forehead and chuckles to himself at how surreal everything is.
You shouldn’t be feeling so happy, so satisfied, but you feel like you’ve been moon-struck. God, you can’t even figure it out yourself. Not when you’re tucked into his broad sturdy chest, his chin resting on the crown of your head and hand resting gently around your waist. Listening to his heartbeat. Though you’re aware that he isn’t looking for anything serious, you want to believe that maybe, just maybe his heart is beating as thunderously as yours because he’s serious this time.
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“Not about to feint surprise at how you’re still alive because I’m going to need that profile from you, but I have to ask. Did you not sleep last night?” You look up to see Yoongi raising his eyebrow at you with suspicion.
“Ah, the appearance of negation in a question – my cup of tea. Do I reply yes or no to your pervasive question?”
“Very snarky today, I see. You look like melted ice cream, topped with tasteless sprinkles.”
“And you look like a boiled dumpling.”
“Thanks.”
“I was up doing work last night.”
“You’ve already handed up all your submissions,” he replies matter-of-factly.
“I know… I just… was,” you shoot Yoongi a pointed look, “thinking about stuff.”
The change in his expression lets you in that he knows exactly about what’s up, “Thinking about stuff, huh?”
“I’m just so—”
“Whipped for Kim Taehyung and I want to tap that ass. South Korea’s ass, yeah?”
“Disoriented. The word I was going for was disoriented, thank you very much. But also, what the fuck?”
“I said what I said.”
“I also said what I said. Don’t be gross.”
“Look,” Yoongi clears his throat, as if to brace himself for his forthcoming words, “I don’t really want to be involved in whatever feud or relationship you have – look how I didn’t overgeneralise because I’m generally confused. But one thing’s for sure. You clearly have feelings for him.”
“Yeah, of course I do. Anger, impatience and animosity.”
“You know what I mean,” he sighs in incredulity and gives you a look like he can look through your soul and tell that you’re lying through your teeth.
“What the fuck, dude? Kim Taehyung is just urgh. There is nothing good about that jock – all he knows is fucking around and getting onto my nerves. Seriously—"
“Seriously? You expect me to believe that? Don’t think I didn’t notice you smiling at your laptop while working on that profile? Or how you’re glued to your phone because he’s texting you or sending you memes?”
“What?” You blurt out in disbelief.
“Don’t fight me on that – you hate texting. I’m not blind, Y/N. He obviously ignited something in you.”
“What the fuck,” you snarl, “That’s disgusting. I don’t even know what’s so interesting about him, like why the heck are people so smitten by him. They must be blind or something. I swear that I’ve lost at least 10 years of my life from spending an entire week with him. Don’t know how I’m still alive.”
“Y/N…”
“I don’t fucking understand why people put him on a pedestal. He’s really your typical jock? Another egotistical fuckboy. An airhead with no personality. I don’t understand why people like him so much—"
“Um… Taehyung…”
“What?” You flare up impatiently, acrimonious at how Yoongi keeps interrupting your hate speech, totally missing the grimace on his face.
“Y/N, Taehyung… He’s behind you.”
You spin around and your heart drowns in your chest.
The sight of Taehyung’s face of reticence at the door punches you straight in the gut. He shakes his head with a forlorn smile that you can easily see through and turns on his heels, walking away quickly.
Without hesitation, you run after him, your chest tightening with a disconsolate, stifling feeling, as if you’ve just swallowed a hard lump of cloud.
“Tae! I can explain–”
He turns around, maintaining his distance from you, “Gee Y/N, I didn’t know you hated me that much. I thought… thought that after spending all this time with me, your feelings might have changed. But you still… you still hate me, don’t you?”
“Taehyung, listen – I didn’t mean it. I j-just–”
His brows crinkled together in a tight wedge, eyes pressed shut.
“You meant it.”
“I–”
Your tongue feels heavy, like it’s made of iron.  
“You meant it,” he repeats, shoulders sunken low, crestfallen, and you swear, you see hurt in his eyes.
Your heart immediately falls with it, knowing that you’re the cause of his sadness. It feels like there’s a fist seizing your heart and squeezing it until it bursts and splatters all over the walls. When he walks away from you, the pain remains, unabated.
Only heaven and you yourself know how much you did not mean it.
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When you wake up the next few mornings, it’s as if a shadow is lurking at the back of your mind.
There is a tirade running on loop in the back of your mind, the more you thought about it, the angrier you got. But anger is merely a convenient emotion that easily covered up for sorrow. You are angry at yourself for hurting Taehyung.
You’d never say it, but in between glances, hazy mornings at the field and the exchange of witty ripostes, your feelings for Taehyung have changed, unbeknownst to the world. You have no idea when it happened. When the lines that so clearly distinguished you from Taehyung became so blurred. When he stopped being irritating, an obstacle, an enemy and became something else entirely.
You don’t exactly know when you started to thaw and let your guard down to let him in, but you know that you… like seeing Taehyung smile. And you also know that you want to be one of the reasons for his smile.
Despite the overwhelming amount of work you need to attend to, these few days, you spend a lot less time working on your assignments like you should be and a lot more daydreaming about twinkling eyes and a distinctive laughter from a boxy smile. It doesn’t go past your notice – how your heart goes all erratic when a particular football player is around, his sunshine smile radiating the darkest part of your mind and threatening to break your steely, collected demeanour into bits.
You have been so scared to let him in, so afraid to let yourself fully submerge in the comfort of his touches, in the calm that envelops you when Taehyung is beside you, listening to you ramble, or when he looks at you when he thinks you’re not looking.
You tell yourself that you’d be fine. That life goes on. That Taehyung is just another almost and you can live without talking to him again like how your life was before this whole shit-show. But you remember the current that zaps you whenever he brushes his hand against yours, the ricocheting of your heart whenever you find him staring at you. You also think about the little crinkle at the edges of his eyes whenever he laughs and the music of his laughter that you’ve grown to adore. Little did you know, the warmth at the pit of your stomach has long built a house to reside in and it’s yearning for its owner to come home.  
It hurts.
It hurts because Taehyung has the prettiest, purest and brightest of all souls. He views the world in a different light with all his little quirks. You adore his ardent love for classical jazz (he accidentally played his music out loud when you were with him and gave you a whole lecture on and you didn’t stop him for he spoke so animatedly with stars in his eyes), for strawberries and his family that he would have been a farmer with his grandparents if he didn’t attend college.
Because when he loves, he loves so fiercely, softly and dearly, like the first snow, like the fresh dew on a perfectly bloomed rose. Soon, the gentle heat of the morning will send him back to the clouds and the bloom will raise her head, calling to the summer bees. Taehyung flows like honey in your soul and makes you feel so whole, but vulnerable at the same time.
He’s a dream come true, a daydream, a part of the labyrinth where reveries rest. He’s just so wonderfully and ethereally endearing.
The ache in your chest throbs especially when you spot a cute dog on the way to the café downtown and whip out your phone to snap a picture to tell Taehyung that it’s one of Yeontan’s little friends. You almost hit the send button, but your thumb freezes into place when you remember.
Right.
He’s never going to talk to you again.
It also hurts extra bad when you’re glued to your laptop, fingers hacking away to finish up the feature article on the said boy, writing about the true Kim Taehyung that currently, only you know of. But he probably hates your face right now.
“Hey, you’re—”
“Yoongi, no. I’m not alive. I’ve never felt more dead before.”
“I was going to commend you for being here today after you know, yesterday’s incident.”
He grabs a chair and sits by you and a dreadful sigh escapes from your lips because you’re well-aware that Yoongi is going to make you talk. He isn’t the type to let you ignore your feelings, preferring in honest and open communication even if it pains you to talk about your feelings because you’re so emotionally constipated.
“How are you?”
Burying your face in your hands, you somehow manage to choke out the words lodged deep in your throat, “Feel like shit. I thought I hit rock bottom. But now it’s rock bottom, 50 feet of crap and then me.”
If Yoongi notices the tremble of your fingers, he doesn’t comment on it and you’re grateful for that.
“Tell me more.”
It’s not a question.
God, you hate it when he presses. Fuck journalists and their persistence of sticking their noses into other people’s business. You want to laugh at how ironic this is.
“I don’t even know where to start,” you laugh dryly and cringe at how fake it sounds.
You have your usual self-defensive answer rolling off the tip of your tongue, “I am just another dumb bitch who fell for him.”
“You know, if you’re going to continue being like this, I don’t really know how to help you.”
“I’m not kidding. I feel so dumb for liking him. In fact, one part of me is fucking furious that I’m so vulnerable right now. I hate feelings.”
“First of all, you’re not dumb for liking him. And second of all, human beings are vulnerable and all feelings, no matter how small or insignificant or cliché they are, are all valid. That’s how we grow.”
He continues sagely, “Look, whatever happened between you two is a mess. So you hated him last time, but you’ve developed feelings for him, and that’s all that should matter, no? Don’t refuse your feelings just because you know, you’re too ashamed or scared to acknowledge them.”
Your mouth opens and then snaps close. You repeat this in your state of stupefaction as your brain tries to process everything that has occurred.
“Does it matter if I acknowledge my feelings?”
He doesn’t answer.
“He told me that he isn’t looking for anything serious. Just meaningless sex and fun. I literally just played myself.”
“I don’t exactly know what Taehyung feels about this. But what I know is that they have their first game in a few days and he hasn’t been doing well. Coach has been going really hard on him. You should go talk to him, yeah?”
“Yoongi,” you whisper helplessly, “I’m scared.”
“I know.”
He puts his hand atop yours as a form of comfort and suddenly, everything seems okay. Even if it is just in that moment.
Before you clock out of the editorial room, Yoongi sends you back with your article to vet through before giving the green light to the designers. Scrolling all the way to the bottom of the document, you realise that Yoongi hasn’t fixed anything at all to the point that you wonder if he has accidentally sent the wrong version. Until you spot his message at the bottom in really tiny font because you know, Yoongi.
I said that you’re the only person who could cover this feature article and I wasn’t wrong. Well done. Hope you know that I’ll always have your back, alive or dead.
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You decide to drop by football practice the next day. Lurking near the bleachers, you jump in horror when Jungkook spots you being suspicious. From the way his eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights upon the sight of you, you know that he’s aware of the recent happenings.
“Hey,” he offers you a small smile, but you could tell from the size of the dark bags under his eyes that he is shagged to the bone.
“Hi.”
“Y/N, right? You okay?”
You let out an awkward chuckle, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because Cap is a mess?”
“Is he really?”
He laughs dryly, “Aren’t you here to confirm that?”
“Um—”
“Sorry, I just… the stress is getting to all of us. But especially to hyung. He’s being really grilled by Coach for the sudden dip in performance.”
“Right… I’m sorry… If I caused this. I just—”
Across the field, Coach’s whistle shrills through the air and you realise that it’s directed at Taehyung. From where you’re standing, his grunts are almost inaudible, but the sound of his voice still traverses the darkness of your mind.
“You know, this is the first thing hyung is being grilled by Coach. He’s always been Coach’s favourite, even right from the very start, so Coach doesn’t really know how to deal with him either. Hyung’s even worse than his freshman self. You know, hyung didn’t know shit about football when he first joined? It was a joke. He really worked his way up, even though all he wanted was just to play on the field.”
A sudden prick of guilt pinches at your chest.
“Hey Jungkook, could you do me a favour? Could you pass this to him? You can just leave it on top of his bag? I think he’ll know.”
When Taehyung hobbles into the locker room feeling like death after a vigorous grilling session, his legs almost collapse on the floor. But then he sees a lunch box atop his bag and runs towards it, huffing louder than usual, so hard that he feels like his lungs might collapse like his legs. And when he opens it, only to see a nicely packed strawberry sandwich with a little post-it note on top of it, he lets out a huge breath and for the first time in years after his grandmother’s passing, Taehyung cries.  
Don’t tell your grandparents (sorry!) but these are Japanese strawberries. Good luck for Sat, Yeontannie and I believe in your galaxy 💜
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A big commotion startles Taehyung from his mandatory quiet time that he sets aside before each game. He’ll put on his headphones and play his jazz playlist to meditate for at least a good 10 minutes, allowing both his muscles and mind to rest. But even his noise-cancelling headphones can do so much in blocking out his rambunctious and adrenaline-filled teammates.
“Captain! Your girlfriend’s here!”
“Captain!”
“Tae!”
“Wha—”
Before Taehyung could even remove his headphones to bark at his teammates for disturbing his peace, the door that swings open reveals his very confusion, rendering him utterly speechless.
He sees you standing there with an apprehensive expression, looking out of place as fuck, and if it’s possible, Taehyung can hear the gears in your brain turning frantically from here.
When your eyes land on Taehyung sitting across the room, the first thought that pops into your mind is that it feels like eons since you’ve last seen his face. It’s only been a few days, but you miss seeing him. You miss him so fucking badly.
He looks tired. There are dark circles painting his under-eyes and frown lines on his forehead and that doesn’t sit well with you, because there’s always either an annoying smirk or a bright smile plastered on his face.
For moments and moments, your eyes rest on the boy in front of you, drinking in his presence – the coruscating eyes and pretty lips behind his inspired, untiring voice.
“Hi,” he breathes with an indifferent expression, removing his headphones hastily before he stands up to close the gap between the two of you. The nervous flickering of your eyes doesn’t escape his notice.
“Hey,” you whisper back, lips quivering. There are many more words on the tip of your tongue, but the prevailing fear that catches in your throat freezes your lungs.
The boys have filed out of the locker room to give you two some privacy and now the world is basking in their awkward, ricocheting off the window in a quiet plea for noise. It is so quiet that if you focus more, you could hear the erratic thumping of your heart.
“How’s your article?” Taehyung asks and silence comes to splinter like a stone thrown at a wall, colliding with it and shattering like lightning bolts.
A frown settles itself on your temple at how he is trying to make everything seem all right. How the first thing he does is ask you about your article when you’re the one clearly at fault and he isn’t even showing signs of anger towards you. How could he be so selfless?
“It’s fine,” you mumble, “But I’m not here to…. I’m…”
Without warning, you go on your toes and reach for the rosy flesh on his mouth. At your touch, his entire body softens. It feels like there’s a cavernous hole in his aching heart.
“I’m sorry, Tae.”
Taehyung gives you a little nod, his way of saying it’s okay, before closing his eyes until they disappear in the shadows of his long black lashes.
You kiss him with profound earnestness that had been missing during the first kiss, dusting kisses over every inch of his blushing features, until you’re breathless, dizzy with want. There’s this inexplicable spark of desire growing within you and warming your body from inside out. Your heart longs for him, marvels in how right it feels to be in his arms, to kiss him, to be as close to him as possible.
Gosh, you’ve missed this so much.
Taehyung’s hands find your face, cradling your cheeks as if you’re the most delicate flower he has ever encountered, as if your petals would tear apart if he wasn’t gentle with you. He doesn’t look away from your eyes, searching your gaze silently. Now that you’re here, standing right in front of his very eyes, it makes everything all the more painful.
You move your hand to the back of his neck, pulling him into another gentle kiss, falling onto him like moonlight on a window seat.
“Princess…” He calls for you, voice deep and huskier than you’d ever heard it, and the timber of it sends shivers raking down your spine, “You know that I’m physically incapable of being angry or upset with you.”
The two of you move silently in each other's orbits, solitary planets in a lonely galaxy.
“I’m sorry for everything,” you whisper against his lips as his fingers play with the hem of your shirt.
“Hey, it’s okay, love. I’m just happy that you’re here.”
More words are lost on his tongue as he seizes the opportunity to drink in the sight of you, his eyes trace the outline of your visage, from the curve of your nose to the arch of your philtrum and down to the soft of your lips.
“Are we just going to stare at each other until the buzzer rings?” You joke.
“Can I? I haven’t looked at your face enough lately,” he laughs, “Missed your face. A lot.”
His eyelashes brush against his cheeks, following the stare of your eyes into deep brown irises. When he leans a fraction of a space closer, his bangs brush softly against your forehead.
“Taehyung…” You breathe out, reaching out to caress his face, fingers brushing away his bangs from his eyes, “Can I ask you something?”
“As a friend or a reporter?”
“Neither,” you reply, “I just wanted to know… Since when?”
“Since when?” He tilts his head.
“Since when did you start having feelings for me?”
He laughs like it’s an obvious question, tugging the fallen strand of your hair behind your ears. His expression is hard to decipher, it’s a combination of amusement and endearment, but he is smiling so widely that it’s almost blinding.
“I’ve always liked you, Y/N. Remember when Yoongi-hyung introduced you to me and you were angry about something?”
“I’m always angry about something.”
“I thought you were interesting as fuck.”
“You’re fucking weird.”
“Okay, but can you at least tell me why you hated me?”
“Fine. It’s because… Iwasjealousathowyou’regoodateverything.”
“W-What?”
“I was jealous… because you’re good at everything. Like without even trying. And I thought it was plain unfair, because people like me need to work so hard to do well, while there are people like you who are just… born talented.”
“I—”
“But after getting to know you, I realised that I’ve completely misunderstood you. You hide a lot of things about yourself, but you’re incredibly humble and hardworking even though you’re fucking annoying and cocky. And you’re so selfless, you offer help to your teammates when you notice them struggling. And you’re also so nice to everyone, you make them feel comfortable. Y-You kind of bring light to everyone around you. That’s just your charm, I guess.”
You reach out to hold his hand, but he beats you to it, taking your palm into his. He starts playing with your fingers, mapping every whorl of the ridges on your fingertips.
“Remember the day Yoongi introduced us to each other? It was also the day I failed my scholarship interview. I was up against you and there was only one slot left. You got it, so when you were teasing me for being grumpy, I kind of took my anger out on you. Felt like you were making fun of me.”
“Shit,” he curses under his breath, “I was smiling at you because I found you cute, dumbass. I kept pestering Yoongi-hyung to introduce me to you so when he finally, I was so nervous and didn’t know how to behave in front of you. I didn’t even know that I was up against you for the scholarship.”
When Yoongi first introduced you to Taehyung, he thought that you two would hit off long. But he didn’t take into account the fact that Taehyung and you are polar opposites – your petulance and Taehyung’s happy-go-lucky attitude is a stark juxtaposition. So when Taehyung opened his mouth and told Yoongi (right in front of you, bitch) that you looked like you were about to cry, his chin tilted up slightly, one eyebrow cocked, right after you found out that you failed your scholarship, so it was a straight-up no for Kim.
“Well, we’re both dumb.”
You look away in faux-annoyance, desperately trying to prevent your cheeks from igniting under the warm gaze that deftly lights upon you. “Long story short: I’m mean and I don’t deserve you.”
He cups your face with a smile so bright that his nose scrunches up adorable, “What are you on about? We were made to complete the living hell of each other.”
This prompts another fond smile to play on your lips, one so tight it hurts your cheeks.
When you realise that time’s running out, you tip-toe to press another kiss on his cheek, “For good luck. Go out there and get the trophy for me, bitch.”
The smile you give is soft and pink-cheeked, but familiar in every kind of way and for the umpteenth time, Taehyung gets the fucking air truly knocked out of his lungs. He’s a goner.
“You know,” his eyes are soft and there’s a wisp of a smile on his rosy lips, “I’ll get you the moon if you asked. But you deserve so much more than just the moon, Princess.”
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If there’s one thing you know, it’s that you have almost always wanted to kiss Kim Taehyung. From the very start. And if there’s one thing that you don’t, it’s that the same boy will almost always kiss you back until you’re drowning in honey.
After Taehyung receives the trophy and lifts it high in the air for everyone to see with his teammates cheering around him, the entire ordeal almost has you in tears and you run to him, pressing kisses and bites down necks and collarbones. The ministrations don’t stop even when the two of you waltz-dance and skip all the way to his apartment, never getting enough of each other’s touches.
Taehyung’s fingers knot in your hair, controlling the kiss, his other hand finding purchase on the curve of your waist and teeth digging into the swell of your lower lip. You let out a whine that only encourages Taehyung to press against you closer and kiss you harder, in such a primal way that has heat swirling in your belly and wetness to pool between your thighs.
Your fire to him is the most peerless of lights.
Adrenaline runs through his entire body, lighting up his nerves like fireworks as he removes your shirt and openly soaks in the sight of your body, how your breasts are cupped by your lacey bra and how you’re blushing fervently.
“So pretty for me. All for me.”
You don’t miss the way he growls and licks his lips, eyes hooded as he stares at you like you’re a piece of meat that he can’t wait to devour. And his actions prove his ardent hunger when he grabs your chin and tilts it to the side, before attaching his lips greedily to the skin on your neck and licking a stripe over the flesh. He carries on nibbling on the sensitive part of your skin, sucking and biting in a way that is sure to leave you crying for more.
“Wow, and I thought you’d be tired after the game.”
He is already breathing heavily as he towers over you, biting back his moans, rocking his hips upwards for some needed friction.
“Can’t be tired when I’m just getting started with you.”
He pushes you onto the bed and comes crawling to hover over you within seconds as he connects his lips aggressively with your neck once more. While he continues to suck faint lilac bruises into your skin, you can’t help but jut your hips firmly against his, an instinctive reaction to feel more of him.
He groans loudly and this spurs you to give another experimental roll of your hips over his. This time he freezes and accidentally bites down on your neck a little harder than before which earns another sharp gasp from you, but this only douses the flames licking your abdomen. He leans back to apologise, but his words are lost at the tip of his tongue when you continue to grind against him shamelessly. His hands fall to your hips, nails digging firmly in place, and holds you down against his raging boner that now pokes at your inner thighs.
Thrashing in Taehyung’s grip, you sit up, hands finding the courage to explore the soft material of his shirt. Running your fingers over the buttons, you hastily tug it off him, lingering your fingers over his bare skin that you desperately want to kiss with your lips, lick with your tongue and mark with your teeth as yours.
You feel his hunger swallow you whole, his gaze leaving trails of fire as they run all over your body, electrifying you all over.
“Can I eat you out?” His voice is deep, much huskier than ever, and the timber of it sends shivers raking down your spine.
“God, why did you ever think that I would say no?”
In the briefest of moments, Taehyung tugs your shorts down with a grunt. Your eyes lock briefly, heat blooming like a stove burner, flaring up with that low flickering blue when you notice the pure, unadulterated lust in his concupiscent eyes. Fizzy warmth floods your belly, the knot of lust tightening within your abdomen.
His hands rub at your thighs, spreading them widely as he moves down the expanse of your body. There’s a raw power hidden in his hands and it’s tantalisingly arousing to feel those fingertips pressing into the meat of your thighs, wandering under you to squeeze at your ass.
Leaning in, he begins to leave hot, open-mouthed kisses over your bare torso, before trailing lower to your inner thighs and giving them a few kitten licks. You squirm underneath him at the intimacy, while an involuntary gasp leaves your lips at the sensation of his warm breath and lips dusting across your sensitive skin. The sudden stimulation leaves you aching for his lips to be somewhere else, somewhere where it’s throbbing to be touched, to be filled.
Taehyung seems to sense exactly what you want and the next thing you know, you’re falling back onto your elbows and his nose is pressed into the cotton of your underwear. He inhales deeply and groans, eyes cloudy with lust and pleasure, relishing the unbidden scent of your arousal.
Fucking hell.
The hot of his tongue starts teasing your bud through the sheer fabric, sucking through your underwear. Timidly, you lift your lips up, seeking for friction, but Taehyung doesn’t relent, pushing you back down.
“Gotta be patient, Princess.”
When he finally, like finally, removes your soaked underwear, he dips his head between your thighs and licks a long, languid strip along your folds. This elicits a loud keen from you, hips bucking but he winds his arms under your legs and over your hips to properly restrain you. He begins slowly again, lapping up your juices like a man starved, his satisfied whimpers sending vibrations straight to your clit.
“You smell so fucking good,” he continues on to wrap his plush lips around your clit, growling against your pussy and you feel it vibrate deep in your core, “But taste even fucking better.”
Ecstasy washes over you and you cry out, pleasure hot and sharp shooting through your veins to feed the tightening coil in your abdomen as you writhe in his iron grasp, fingers grasping for purchase at his hair.
“Can fucking eat you out all day, want to bet?”
His teeth scrape lightly against the nub when he speaks, and your back arches at the pleasure. He continues to slurp up whatever you offer him, before giving in to your unspoken request, trailing a finger up your folds and sliding it in.
You’ve always known that Taehyung has long, slender fingers – you’ve noticed how long and pretty they are when they’re wrapped around the football, when he waves to you and when he plays with your fingers. And perhaps, you’ve thought about him doing things to you with those fingers before, but now that he has his finger in you, you cannot emphasise how otherworldly it feels. Fucking delirious.
His long digit meets no resistance, instantly enveloped in the tight, slick heat of your core as he goes in knuckle-deep and adds another finger, and it makes you feel so full that you’re losing your mind. You scream even more when he fucks you deep with both his knuckles and the flat of his hot tongue, bringing the inklings of stars behind your eyes.
His fingers continue to pump into you in a quicker succession that has you trembling and keening. Your pussy gushes at his merciless, erratic flicks and pokes at your hot spots, clenching around his fingers and soaking them in your intoxicating sweetness. Shockwaves begin to tear through you and you’re coming too hard and too fast. But Taehyung doesn’t stop and continues to suck harder to help you ride out the pleasure, the squelch of his tongue lapping at your juices filling the entire room in their entirety.
“Please, Tae, please I’m c-close. Your fingers… Fuck. Feel so good. Fuck, fuck!”
You’re dripping, leaking even by now and when he detaches away from your clit to look at you, you can see your own juices glisten on his lips, dribble down to his chin, and it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. The throb in your core has never been more torturous.
He leans in to give your clit another chaste kiss and your hips buck up instantly into his face as he gathers the arousal onto his tongue, tasting the heavenly mix of your juices and his saliva.
“Does Princess want to taste how sweet she is? Princess likes my fingers, doesn’t she?” He purrs, coating your juices with his fingers and holding them up so you can see how they coruscate in the dim light.
Nodding hazily, you open your mouth and he doesn’t hesitate to slide three of his digits in and you suck the evidence of your own bliss off his skin, enjoying your own taste and the weight and fit of his slender fingers in your mouth. Taehyung swallows in satisfaction and fervour at how dirty you look.
“Fuck, Y/N. Can’t wait to fuck you. Going to fuck you so good you can’t walk for days.”
A spark of a fire in the very core of your being, beginning to fizzle outward at his words.
Without warning, he pounces onto you, planting kisses on your jawline and down your neck again. When you crane your neck to give him more space, he takes his time, hard muscle of his tongue lapping at your sweet skin, lips sucking until a bruise begins to bloom.
“So fucking beautiful, God,” he croons, threading his fingers through your hair as he groans at how hot this is.  
“Taehyung,” you breathe, looking up through your eyelashes, vision hazy with lust, “Want your fat cock in my fucking mouth. Please?”
Taehyung grunts loudly at your crude request, rolling his eyes in a mixture of disbelief and pleasure. He wants your words, this exact memory, to be burned into the very cells of his brain.
“Yeah? Princess wants my dick?”
Pushing his sweats and underwear down with swift fingers, you watch how his dick slaps hard against his stomach. It is searing red at the tip, the head thicker than the shaft, begging to be touched.
You want to fucking sit on it, suck him till you’ve milked him of all his cum. You don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on before, not when his long fingers are wrapped around his fat cock, giving it a couple of quick strokes. Fuck, his fingers can barely wrap around his dick and that itself makes you dizzy with arousal.
“Open wide, sweetie.”
You throw yourself in front of his thighs, mouth wide, sticking your tongue out in anticipation. You can’t help but moan out loud when Taehyung slaps the head of his dick against your cheek, spreading precum all over, and then on your tongue, before slowly feeding you his cock. Fuck, you feel so dirty.
Taehyung’s cock rests heavy on your tongue, throbbing in the wet heat of your mouth. You lick a long stripe with your tongue on the underside of his length, feeling the very veins that have popped out.
He doesn’t believe that it’s happening. He can’t, not at how he has dreamt about this more times than he can count with both hands, and now it is actually fucking happening.
He grunts, “Dreamt about this so many times. You have no idea how many times I’ve jerked off to this.”
“Jerked off to what?” You tease as your fingers wrap themselves around the base of Taehyung’s dick to keep it steady, massaging his balls every now and then, as you suck noisily around the tip. Running your tongue along the side of his shaft and then back up to swirl your tongue at his slit to lick at his precum, you rejoice in the almost pained whine he lets out.
“Jerked off to you on your knees, looking pretty as fuck, while sucking my fat cock,” he smirks, without blinking an eye at the announcement of his fantasy.
Shuddering at his words, you start to bob your head, taking a little more of him every time you go down until you’re choking and your eyes are watering.
“Fuck yeah, just like that. Does Princess want me to fuck her throat? Feel so full and good?”
A low groan rumbles from deep within his throat, bordering on animalistic, which sends tremors of desire to thrum through your veins.
Peering up through fluttering lashes at Taehyung with your plush lips stretched wide around him, you smile at his fucked-out expression and proceed to alternate licking between his balls and his hard shaft.
When you take his cock into your mouth again, you purr at the fullness of him, opening your mouth wider to take him deeper until he’s fucked himself to the hilt of your throat, your nose buried in the tussock of cleanly trimmed pubic hair at his navel.
“Not so snarky anymore now with my cock in your mouth, huh?”
You don’t reply. The darkness in your eyes is enough to send a punch of heat straight into the pit of Taehyung’s gut and he can’t help but buck his hips forward, sliding right into the wet, hot vice of your throat, fucking right into your throat ruthlessly, leaving you a whimpering, writhing mess.
You don’t stop suckling with your lips, coating his length in saliva and then pull off with a little 'pop’, your hands still working at the base of Taehyung’s cock, fondling his balls.
“C-Cum,” your lips gleam in saliva and precum, “Please… Cum on my face.”
“Want me to come all over your face, doll? You’re so fucking dirty.”
Taehyung grips at his cock, stroking it a few times, before he taps his cock against your cheek again. His mind is sent in turmoil when you stick your tongue out and before he knows it, he’s ejaculating in thick spurts all over your face.
You look so fucking pretty with globs of white all over your chin and cheek and Taehyung shivers in ecstasy, a growl ready at the back of his throat, “Y-You really have no idea what you do to me.”
You lick off what he can, relishing in the taste of Taehyung as you swipe your thumb over your mouth to coat it with his cum and suck on it, while your other hand reaches behind to squeeze his ass.
“You weren’t kidding about your ass,” you whirl, slapping his ass and loving the way it jiggles.
“Yeah? It’s all yours, Princess.”
Taehyung traces the knobs on the base of your spine with his other hand, finding warm and soft skin. You let out another desperate sound against your lips, feeling a shock of electricity zip through your back down to your very core.  
Arching your back, you throw your head back and Taehyung takes this opportunity and slips his tongue in the hot wet of your mouth and licks fervently at the four corners, rougher and needier this time round.
It’s as if all at once, something connects between you two. You find it impossible to breathe properly, hands fisted in Taehyung’s locks, dizzy and lightheaded and hot all over. Taehyung’s teeth scrape over your bottom lip. It’s almost impossible to pull away, but when you finally break apart, a strand of saliva connects your mouths together and it lands on your chest.
“Fuck, so dirty,” Taehyung’s eyes are golden, blown wide, and he smiles at you so dearly that it makes your chest gnaw. It’s the littlest of moments and softest of gasps that render you breathless. Every part of your body that Taehyung has touched feels like it’s on fire, but it’s the deep timber of his voice, almost a growl, that makes you feel like he’s melting.
“So wet for me.”
He yearns to memorize the map of your body, the trenches of the grooves on your lower back, the stars living in your eyes, the parts of your body that have you shuddering from the pleasure.
You can feel it, the tip of his cock brushing against your wetness and you let out a soft plea. Your stomach ties into a knot when he slaps his dick against your clit a few times, loving how his head is already soaked by your juices. When you search for his eyes, you see that his irises are long gone, blanketed with pure, unadulterated lust.
“Want you. Want you to fuck me with your fat cock, Tae.”
He has to bite his own flesh to suppress the feral moan threatening to drip from his swollen, red lips, “Fucking hell. Can’t believe you used to hate me. Now here you are, begging me to fuck you.”
Your breath hitches when you feel him enter you, his cock pushing against your walls and stretching you out so good. He eases his cock slowly until it fills you the brim, pushing against your hot walls until he can go no further.
“You’re so tight for me. Feels fucking good,” he breathes out with a hazy smile, and your eyes flutter closed.
He doesn’t move for a moment, allowing you to adjust to the stretch and burn, before the wriggle of your hips urges him to move and he knows that he’s about to take you higher than ever. He lifts his lips to almost pull all the way out, the tip nestling an inch within your entrance, and without warning, slams back into your cunt, drawing a choked moan from the both of you as his length drags against your walls and hits a spot deep inside you.
Your back arches off the bed at the pleasure, a sharp cry leaving your lips.
“Fuck yeah, you like that princess? Going to be a good girl for me?”
“Yes, yes! Fuck Taehyung. You feel so good.”
This only prompts him to repeat the movement a few more times, until he settles on pounding into you mercilessly with a precision that he flaunts on the field. He continues fucking into that same sensitive spot over and over again with no signs of slowing down, finally able to fulfil the primal, animalistic need and urge that has accumulated ever since the day he met you.
As his hips snap into yours, his palm remains gentle on your face, his tongue hot and assimilating your own so passionately and tenderly that it makes your heart melt. There’s just something so tangibly tender and sensual about the way he’s kissing you, while fucking you senseless, as if he wants you to know how much he wants this, how much he wants to give himself to you with each stroke.
How much love he has to devote to you.  
“Faster, faster, don’t stop, Taehyung. Fuck.”
You can feel every drag of Taehyung’s thick cock inside you, his ridges sliding against your walls and hitting that little bundle of nerves inside you that has got you babbling nonsense and your eyes rolled all the way up.
Screwing your eyes closed, the sparks glow brighter, and your moans heighten in pitch, while you sink your teeth into the swollen flesh of your lower lip. Above you, Taehyung learns that your mouth is sinful from the way you’re repeating curses and cries like a mantra and from the way drool is dripping down your chin. It’s just how unbelievably rough he’s fucking you, rough enough that you’re convinced there will be bruises all over your body and he’s going to rip you apart. But maybe that’s what you want, maybe that’s exactly what Taehyung intends to do to you.
“Say please.”
He then sits up and leans back to rest on his calves, before he hikes your leg up to rest over his shoulder, effectively folding you into half, and pulls you towards him roughly to fuck into you harder. You keen loudly at the new angle, how he’s able to fuck into you so much deeper, hands clawing at the sheets and dragging long, red marks on his back.
“Please, Taehyung. Please, you fuck me so fucking good.”
He smirks at how helpless you are underneath him and frees his hand from your thigh, reaching to search for yours, intertwining them tightly.
Which each thrust, the both of you grow closer to your impending orgasms, excitement curling in your abdomen along with pleasure that shoots straight to your core as Taehyung continues to pummel into your welcoming heat, strong thighs trembling against the backs of yours.
His other hand rest on your hips as his fingers squeeze and caress your skin each time you curse and whimper his name lasciviously, blending in with the symphony of skin slapping against skin, of his balls and thighs smacking against your ass that stirs the silence.
“I’m on the pill. Cum inside me, please. Want your hot cum in me.”
“Princess wants to be my personal cum-dumpster, doesn’t she?”  
Taehyung dips his head over your chest and takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking it lavishly as if the taste of you is suddenly too much to bear. You wail in pleasure, back arched all the way up, the grip on his hand tightening as your hips rise to meet the brutal thrusts of his hips, pleasure shooting white hot to join the heated desire in your core.
That’s all you need to lurch over the edge. The coil within your core suddenly snaps with the tension and then comes the onslaught of immense white-hot pleasure, curling and roaring like a beast in your stomach, the pressure between your legs immeasurably high. You clamp around him one last time, galaxies firing in the murky red of your eyelids as he coaxes you through your orgasm.
You know Taehyung’s close too – now faster, more erratic, as he chases his release relentlessly. For a moment, all you can see is glorious light, blinding your vision until it consumes you whole and you’re shaking ferociously.  
Your eyes roll to the back of your head when Taehyung comes hard with a harsh shudder and an animalistic growl from between his clenched teeth, thrumming at his warm seed inside you. He isn’t done with you yet though. When he pulls out, the emptying sensation of his cock being drawn out of your walls gives rise to another wail from you, but you forget all over it when he rubs the swollen tip of his dick against your clit in a circular movement, playing to its sensitivity and pushing in his cum inside you again. His personal cum-dumpster.
Taehyung kisses you once more just because he can, and then lets his eyes run over the girl in front of him and his mind goes blank because wow, that actually happened – and it certainly did, evident from the mussed hair, blown hazy pupils, lovebites all over flustered skin and the soft, dreamy smile belonging to a pair of swollen-red lips.
This, Taehyung registers despite the giddy turbulence in his mind, is the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. So unbelievably, heart-wrenchingly beautiful that he can feel something in his chest splinter.
There’s a passing second of staring at each other, your cheek deep in the pillow, his head lulled against the headboard.
Taehyung lets out a chuckle, airy and filled with a rasp of post-sleep that would never come. He moves slowly, creaking the mattress in droning successions as he slips his arm around your waist, dusting little kisses on your nose before bringing up your hand to his lips. You realise that he likes doing that.
He stares at you for a long while, thumb over the back of your hand in tandem with the flick of his eyes, back and forth, between yours.
Even in the dark, Taehyung’s lovely flush is brilliant, otherworldly effervescent.  
“You know when you said those things to Yoongi, I knew you said it out of a fit, but I couldn’t help but be upset about it.”
“Tae—”
His lips quirk upward on the edges into something knowing, “Then I realised that this was the first time I was genuinely upset about someone’s opinion about me. I usually don’t care what people think of me. I mean I don’t live to impress them, so this made me realised that I actually care a lot about what you think about me. About how you feel about me, whether I’m just a dumb fuckboy to you or whether you see the real me.”
He presses another kiss to your knuckles and your entire body tingles with warmth, “Then it hit me. That you know, maybe I really, really do have feelings for you and I want you to like me too. Like for real. I know I said that I don’t have the time and energy to deal with feelings. But you… You drive me insane. I used to be cynical about being so vulnerable for someone, and it’s so scary how much you can yearn for someone’s attention and affection. It’s just crazy – the things you do to me.”
As his words spill into the spaces between you, you simmer in the comfortable silence, ignoring the sharp tugs at your heartstrings.
“Never thought I’d live to see this day,” he mumbles, before pressing a kiss to your forehead with an earnestness that heightens the tugs at your heartstrings.
“Talk about character development,” you joke, burying your face in his chest and finding solace in the warmth of the sweet honey gold that he possesses. His hand on your waist begins caressing the small of your back, bringing you closer to him, until his nose is settled in the crook of your neck.
“Looks like my YOLO-ing did me some good,” he whispers into your ear and there’s a resplendent lilt to his voice.
It takes you a while for you to realise that he’s referring to the fake quote you’ve assigned to him.
Taehyung smiles at your deadpan expression and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. His mouth is pulled into a rectangle and his eyes are curved into crescents. You realise this a long time ago, but you will finally admit to it now – Taehyung is beautiful. He is so beautiful that he could rearrange continent with that smile of his.
When he laughs and the moonlight catches on the flecks of gold in melted brown, that’s when you know that you’re struck with a love the size of the entire galaxy for him. To hell with your past hatred and feud with him, you’re just grateful to have your entire universe lying right beside you, right in this moment, under the burning light of the great, yellow moon that hangs heavy and radiant above the two of you.
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that’s it. that’s the mammoth i’ve been brewing over the past few months (and rushing it like mad over the past two weeks)! i wanted to depict tae as accurately as possible so i made sure to include the little tiny details and quirks of his ;; did you know that he was the one who coined the term bread cheeks??? there’s a video of him comparing his cheeks to bread buns and i think that started the entire trend i’m just. i never want tae to be sad he has the purest and biggest heart
thank you so much for reading this and if you enjoyed it, please please hit that like or reblog button or/and hmu in my inbox/dms! ♡ i love receiving asks and messages tho sometimes ;; i just disappear from the face of the earth. i literally post a fic every 6 months sobs but next up sugarplum elegy (and i promise i won’t take another 6 months, my aim to upload it is end june!) love you guys  much and remember to take care of yourself – i believe in your galaxy ☁️💫💜💞🌃✨
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themadauthorshatter · 3 years
Text
WELCOME BACK!
Kind of a loud intro, but I'm working on this early since I'm on a creative wave and don't want to get off.
Quick recap of parts 8 and 9, like super fast, so pay attention, class, because I'll only explain it 82 more times so I don't forget: After the successful rescue that totally went off without a hitch, Henry took a page from Right's book and arranged a video call and hostage swap: Reginald for Charles. Right agreed, but Charles had other opinions. After a heartfelt Copperright reunion, Charles ruins it by bringing a gun to the peace meeting, but Henry literally jumps into action and the two start fighting, something Henry totally started, if you ask Charles, and won fair and square, if you ask Henry. The CCC sees the whole thing and try to use Terrence as a means to an end before the scuffle ends with a shot to the hand delivered by Galeforce and Charles passes out because he's a sore loser and tired. They head back to the base, more worried about Charles than Right's and Reginald's escape by to the orbital station.
As always, feel free to catch up fully on the previous parts right here:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
With all that out of the way, let's go check on our favorite stick people... that I gave hair. FUCK IT, LET'S GO!!!
We start off with Henry zoning out as a medic reapplies a bandage on his eyebrow; it will not become a scar, though he does have to grow the hair. Speaking of hair, he is now rocking a buzz cut because he got tired of looking at where Charles pulled his hair out.
He gets pulled out when Ellie limps over to him.
"Feeling better?"
He nods and points to her leg. 'I'm fine. You're getting better at walking.'
"Yeah. About time, too." Ellie's smile drops as she bites her lip, unsure of what to say next.
Henry notices and writes on a notepad, 'How's Charles?'
Ellie is silent, hugging herself before replying. "They really hurt him. He keeps coughing and trying to rub his eyes."
'Trying?'
When Ellie doesn't meet his eyes, Henry gets up and sees a soldier leaving what is basically the psyche ward, even though it's just a surgical room they mostly cleared out and filled with basic hospital room stuff. Inside this room is Charles, who is strapped down in his bed, even with his ankles and wrists restrained, just in case, and keeps writhing and kicking around trying to break free. He's screaming something, by neither Henry nor Ellie can hear him.
The sight makes Henry sick to his stomach.
"The General said it might be a while before he's himself again, and we can't take any chances."
Charles eventually calms down and lies back, and sees Henry and Ellie as a medic walks in. She also turns on some sort of intercom system, so they can hear him, before she walks into his room.
"Hi, Charles." She says with that same fake, condescending tone that all nurses use to talk. "How are you feeling?"
Charles, naturally, glares at her. "Terrible. And talking to me like I'm a kid won't make me feel better."
"Is there anything I can get you to make you feel better?"
"I want to get out of this bed," he says with a pull of his wrist. "These restraints are too tight."
Henry holds his hand to his mouth as the nurse shakes her head.
"I'm sorry, Charles, you heard what the Genersl said. We're not supposed to let you out until you get better."
This riles Charles up too much because he thrashes even more violently, which scares the hell put of the medic.
"Why are you doing this!? I'm a traitor! You should've killed me by now! Stop wasting your time and get it over with already!"
Charles tries to yell some more, but coughs and starts gasping very loudly.
The medic moves quickly, getting a needle and inserts it into Charles's chest to help him breathe again. She also injects him with a sedative to calm him down, in case he acts up again.
Ellie sees Henry staring and pulls him back as Rupert approaches them.
"The general wants to see you two."
After a glance back at Charles, the two meet Galeforce, who is sitting rather calmly at his desk.
"Nice to see you two getting better. Hood to see you on your feet, Ellie."
"Thanks. Did something happen?"
Galeforce grimaces and hands Henry a note from Bill Bullet asking that the government take care of the Toppat Clan before anything else with Henry, and that it shouldn't be a problem because they have the perfect man for the job.
'What about the deal?' Henry signs.
"He's holding off on it until the Clan's taken out. He won't talk about anything beyond that."
"So we're taking orders from the CCC now?" Ellie asks, finding the idea very tasteless.
"It's not an order. More of a... favor. And the Wall contacted me about that escape you pulled off."
Ellie groans and Henry rolls his eyes. 'They cannot blame us when we're going to give them the entire clan.'
"Dmitri couldn't care less about new inmates," Galeforce barks. "All he wants is your head devorating his mantle," he says as he points to Henry.
Henry tenses and looks between the two of them. 'So how do we take care of them?'
Galeforce shakes his head. "I don't know, but we're gonna take care of the Toppat Clan and get the CCC off our backs, regardless. Understand?"
The two nod and Henry leaves quickly to check on Charles.
Speaking of which, he's resting after getting air back in his lungs, and is VERY loopy when Henry walks in. He's still restrained, but doesn't really care. The medic is still in the room and is ready to translate for Henry.
"Henry? Is that... really you?"
Henry nods as he pulls up a chair and sits by his friend.
"You look... like an egg."
Henry snickers as Charles tries to reach out and feel Henry's cool new buzz cut hair.
"You do. You look like a hairy egg. Like someone left an egg out snd it got moldy."
Henry signs and the medic translsates, "He said, 'Eggs don't get bad like that, but tomatoes do.'"
Charles scowls and signs, 'Can read. I know what saying.'
Henry signs that he's glad Charles is back, crying as he does so.
Charles turns his eyes to the ceiling and lets his own tears fall, real ones, not artificial ones that he's had to put in. "When I saw those government destroyers get shot down or saw the pilots get shot right in front of me, I had a pretty good idea that I wasn't going anywhere. I started forgetting why I really joined the government and just saw why I shouldn't be anywhere near them. I forgot how much I wanted to be back. Fly their helicopter again."
'Don't you mean 'your helicopter?'' Henry signs.
"No. It was theirs. My parents. Mom was better a flying, but Dad was faster. They were really good at what they did. Too good. I was nine when the General told me. It was their last mission and they couldn't let enemy forces through. The general said it was a kamikaze attack, but my dad said he and my mom loved me. And that they were sorry they couldn't make it back for my birthday."
Henry is literally floored by this news. Charles never brings up his parents. NEVER! It's got nothing with a lack of trust, he just doesn't like talking about them, not even with the general, who took him in after their funeral.
"I don't know what they'd think, if they were alive, but I know they wouldn't want anything to with me either." Charles turns his eyes to Henry, tired and very saddened. "Why didn't you take the shot? He was right there."
Henry gulps and signs to Charles, 'I was scared. I didn't want to miss and hit you. I should've taken the shot anyway, but I didn't. I'm sorry.'
Charles keeps his eyes on Henry and stays silent for a few seconds. "How do I know this isn't all just in my head? How do I know I won't just wake up back there?"
Henry holds and rubs Charles's hand, writing on his wrist with his finger.
'This is real. You're home. I screwed up the mission, I know, but they're working on a plan to take down the Toppat Clan for good.'
Charles tightens his grip on Henry's hand as his eyes go wide. "Promise me. If that... that son of a bitch has me again and... and you're there, promise me you'll shoot him. Don't waste time worrying about me! I can't- I can't go back there! I can't handle it happening again! I can't go back! PROMISE ME I WON'T GO BACK!"
Henry holds Charles's shoulders and nods, trying to calm him down. 'I will. I promise I won't let anything happen to you.'
Charles rests his head against Henry's shoulder and nods, trying to calm himself down.
Henry only hugs him, makimg sure that when the time comes he will keep his promise to his friend.
And that is Part 10! Charles's recovery will not be easy, but he made Henry promise to keep him out of Toppat clutches and Henry will oblige.
I hope you guys enjoyed this one, it's a little fluffier, but I think we've all earned that after everything that's happened in the series
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sambergscott · 4 years
Text
a peralta guarantee
“I promise I’ll come home safe, Ames. That’s a Peralta Guarantee.”
(missing scenes from 7x08 - amy worrying about jake)
hUge thanks to johanna for inspiring this fic and helping when i had a lil breakdown halfway through
When he approaches her desk mid-afternoon with a decaf coffee and the white chocolate chip cookies she’s been craving from the bakery across town, she knows he’s either a) broken something, b) wants something or c) has bad news. She narrows her eyes suspiciously, detecting an excited bounce in his step which can only mean it’s b and c; he wants something she’s not going to like.
“Hey, babe,” he tries to play it cool, clearing a butt-sized space on her desk on which to sit. “I come bearing gifts.”
“What do you want, Peralta?” She cuts to the chase.
“Damn it, you know me too well,” he mutters. “OK, so, here’s the thing: Doug Judy’s gettin’ married. He invited me to his Bachelor Party this weekend and I know he’s a criminal, Ames, but I really wanna go. Like, so bad. Would you be cool with that?”
She conjures up a mental pro and con list. On one hand, Doug Judy is The Pontiac Bandit, known felon, committer of God knows how many crimes, an overall bad dude. On the other, he’s Jake’s friend, singer of the smush songs CD in the glove box of their car that they always forget to take out, giver of the Le Creuset pot she adores. He’s always been nice to her and—.
“Sarge?” Gary interrupts her decision-making process with a quick question about a perp he just brought in, snapping her back to reality. She’s a Police Sergeant, her job is to serve and protect the city they call home and as much as she loves cooking her mom’s beef casserole recipe in Judy’s awesome wedding gift, she has a responsibility to bring him in.
“I’m sorry, babe. I just think it’s a bad idea.”
His face falls, his disappointment coming through loud and clear.
“What were you expecting me to say? Ignore the million arrest warrants out on this guy, many of them submitted by you, so you can drink beer and go to strip clubs?”
“You’re right,” he sighs. “You’re obviously right. Man, being good at your job sucks.”
She nods in agreement. “Remember last month when I had to shut that binder store down for running a secret drug dealing operation out back?”
“How could I forget? You cried for three days straight.”
“They had the best binder collection I’ve ever seen!”
(It was actually what was so fishy about it. In four trips to buy pregnancy binders, she hadn’t seen any of the founding members of the Brooklyn Binder Babes blog — Mary Sue, Catherine, Margaret or Jane — once. And there’s no way a stationery start-up would attract such long queues without their recommendation. It was a pretty easy solve from there).
“The point is, you can’t go to a criminal’s Bachelor Party.” She pats his hand. “You’ll just have to come maternity clothes shopping with me instead. None of my jeans fit me anymore.”
“As much as I would love to, you can take Kylie. I’m going to the party.”
“What?” She double-takes. “Jake, did you not listen to what I literally just said? We’re cops. We cannot be friends with criminals.”
“But we can be friends with informants who have helped us catch numerous, even bigger, more dangerous criminals,” he says with that look on his face, the one he gets when he finds a loophole that he can use to his advantage. She recognises it from home videos Karen has shown her where, instead of tidying his room like she asked him to, seven year old Jake shoves everything under his bed and carries on enacting a police chase with his race cars. “Captain Holt has given him immunity before, so technically I should be able to go party it up with him in Miami!”
“Wait... It’s in Miami? Miami... Florida?”
It’s a stupid question, she knows. Of course he means Miami, Florida. It’s just... they both promised on the flight home that they would never, ever go back there. After everything that happened with Figgis and not knowing if they’d ever see each other again, a statewide travel ban seemed a good way to put it all behind them, focus on all their future moments together, not on all the moments they missed.
“This isn’t like last time,” he reassures her. “It’s only for a weekend and then I’ll be coming straight home for snuggles with you and —,” he lowers his voice to a whisper because they haven’t told anyone she’s pregnant yet, “the baby.”
Her eyes fill with tears and she bites her lip so hard to stop them overflowing in front of all her uniformed officers. It’s pretty clear that he wants to go and she never wants to be one of them wives who control their husbands’ every move. All she wants is for him to be happy. And if going to Doug Judy’s Bachelor Party makes him happy, he should go, no matter how much she hates the entire state of Florida. She agrees, on one condition: “You have to text me hourly updates to let me know that you’re still alive.”
“Don’t I text you constantly anyway?”
“I guess so,” she sniffs.
He lifts her chin so she’s looking him in the eyes. “I promise I’ll come home safe, Ames. That’s a Peralta guarantee.”
“You better,” she warns, tears suddenly flowing down her face at the thought of him not coming home, not being there to watch Property Brothers with her, not raising their baby and proving to everyone what a great dad he will be.
Used to her extra strength pregnancy hormones shifting her emotions from 0 to 100 faster than John McClane can say “Yippie-Ki-Yay, motherfucker”, he pulls her into a tight hug, careful not to crush the precious cargo that is behind said mood swings.
He strokes her hair and whispers that he’ll be home before she knows it and that nothing, not even the worst state in the country, will tear him away from her.
When it’s time for him to leave, she follows him out to the street and, after a brief argument over the fact he packed his bag before he OK’ed the trip with her and another hormone-induced cry when his cab shows up, reluctantly waves goodbye.
True to his word, he texts her before the car is even out of sight. Miss you already 😘.
--
Her phone buzzes periodically throughout the rest of the day.
In a meeting with Holt and Terry: flying on mark cuban’s dope ass private plane!!!!! ✈️
Cooking dinner: florida is HOT (not as hot as u babe, dont worry)
Doing her crossword in bed: g’night ames, g’night baby, love u both SO MUCH
She smiles, tells him she loves him too and braces herself for the barrage of drunk texts and selfies coming her way.
--
Sleeping without him sucks. The bed is cold, her pregnancy pillow is not as good of a cuddle buddy and she tosses and turns all night worrying about him, where he is, what he’s doing, whether he’s safe.
Her eyes finally slip shut around 1 am when her phone buzzes. Again. And again. And again.
She tries to ignore him, bury her head under her pillow and go back to sleep, but the messages keep coming thick and fast. She groans, giving up and unlocking her phone.
There are 47 new messages from him.
Forty-seven.
Her initial annoyance at being woken up quickly disappears as she scrolls through the thread. He’s mostly sent her random, meaningless emojis and keysmashes, interspersed with the odd “I love you”, “you’re my best friend” and “I’m thinking about you” that warm her heart. He mentions something about their proposal, about crying with Doug Judy, which obviously makes her cry too.
(Dumb pregnancy hormones).
By the time she reaches the bottom, he’s sent her 10 more.
She decides for her sake — and the sake of all of her officers who would have to deal with a tired, emotional pregnant lady — to turn off her phone and reply to him in the morning.
She returns her phone to her nightstand, settles back into a comfortable position and closes her eyes.
She lies motionless for what feels like hours, unable to fall asleep. She tries the breathing technique her brother David brags about constantly, counting sheep like little Matthew, even reciting police codes like Teddy used to go to sleep after sex. Nothing works. She’s still awake.
She turns her phone back on to see what Jake’s up to now, only to see his messages ended abruptly with a caterpillar emoji over an hour ago.  
She immediately panics, dialling 911 into her phone.
Her thumb hovers over the green call button.
She’s heard thousands of crazy operator call stories, frequently reminded the general population to only call in a genuine emergency and watched the YouTube compilations for fun. She deletes the number, positive that if she told an operator her husband was missing because she hadn’t heard from him while he’s at a Bachelor Party, she’s positive she would be added to those videos.
In an attempt to stop her spiral, she contemplates the possible scenarios in which his constant texts would cease.
Scenario 1: He’s living in the moment and has put his phone away (something she has been encouraging him to do lately to reduce his screen time)
Scenario 2: He’s very drunk and has completely forgotten about his promise
Scenario 3: He used up all his battery texting her and his phone has died
Scenario 4: He’s fallen asleep (although a quick check of Trudy Judy’s insta reveals the party is very much still in full flow)
Scenario 5: Judy’s criminal buddies have killed him and thrown his body into the ocean
Once the thought pops into her head, no amount of squeezing her eyes shut will make the image go away.
Holt giving an emotional eulogy about wearing ties and being an amazing detective/genius.  
Some rookie taking over his desk.  
The sympathetic looks when she tells all the other moms in baby group that her husband died.  
Usually Jake is there to hold her when her nightmares get bad. She rolls over, expecting to see his kind eyes and soft smile, the untouched side of his bed only serving to make her cry harder.
She can’t lose him. Not yet. Not until they’re old and grey, and maybe not even then. She spent so long denying her feelings for her dorky partner, rueing every missed opportunity to be together, and when they finally, finally took the plunge, she had never been happier. She can’t lose him yet. They have so much more life left to live.
She can’t lose him because he promised her he would come home safe. He guaranteed it.
She clings onto the tiny grain of hope like one might cling onto a raft in the middle of the ocean.
He would never break a Peralta guarantee.
--
Her phone finally buzzes again an hour later.
From: Unknown
Ames, it’s me, Jake. Judy’s buddies found out I’m a cop + destroyed my phone. So sorry I couldn’t text before. Hope you didn’t worry too much, although I know you probably haven’t slept. You can stop worrying now. I’m safe. Love you + see you tomorrow.  
Love you too, she responds, yawning as she places the phone back on the side table.
Relieved that he’s OK, and exhausted from all the worrying, she falls into the easiest sleep she’s ever had.
--
Before she knows it, it’s the next afternoon, Jake’s keys are turning in the lock, he’s dropping his holdall on the floor and rushing to her side to kiss her all over her face.
“I missed you too,” she laughs, kissing him properly.
“Sorry it took so long — Doug and Trudy made me fly commercial —.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’re home now. That’s all that matters.”
“I’m never leaving you two again,” he swears.
“You’ll have to leave us eventually to go to the bathroom and stuff,” she points out, raking her fingers through the unruly curls that she so hopes their baby will inherit. “Just don’t go back there.”
A solemn understanding passes over his face and he nods. “Never again. Not even if our kid wants to go to Disney World. We’ll take them to the California one instead.”
“Smort,” she says, stealing his line and in an instant, that familiar grin is back.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
A dozen memories flood back, of oldies in short shorts and shuffleboard and Doug Judy getting away again. Of noice and smort and saying “I love you” for the very first time. Her eyes fill with tears — dumb pregnancy hormones strike again — as she buries her face in his shoulder.
“Let’s go to bed,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and lifting her bridal style to carry her to their room. He places her carefully onto the mattress and flops down next to her.
She snuggles into him, eyes closing once more. “Did we even get an invite to the wedding?”
“Not even close,” he sighs.
“Damn it. I would’ve loved to see that trainwreck.”
“You and me both, babe. You and me both.”
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