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missvelvetsstuff · 11 months

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Guarded Heart

Bucky Barnes x Reader

MobAu

Chapter 22

Notes: sorry this took so long. I've been home for a week but everyone keeps interrupting my creative process. Anyhow here it is and we're almost at the end, last chapter is already half written so hopefully won't take too long.

Warnings: lite angst, swearing, a hint of dirty talk. I think that's it.

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"She's awake and asking for you"

Bucky felt his stomach drop at the thought of talking to Y/N right now. After the anger that washed over him as he found his room empty when she ran away to confront Zemo, then seeing her weak and barely coherent before she collapsed when Zemo was shot, Bucky wasn't sure he could keep himself from yelling or crying, either seemed likely but he-

He looked up as Y/N's mother interrupted his internal dialog, looked at him sternly. "Don't you go upsetting her, James. Stress will only extend her recovery time."

Bucky looked at the floor like a kid being chastised by their mother "Yes ma'am. I'll be good."

"You'd better. If you hurt her you'll see what a mobsters wife can do."

Bucky looked over at his own mother who was looking at him, arms crossed over her chest, nodding.

He headed up the stairs, anxiety racing through him.

When he arrived at his room he could hear singing, weak and off key but it was a song he recognized.

"Countryyyyy roooooads, taaake me hooooome, to the plaaaaace I belooohoong. West-"

She looked up at him, standing in the doorway with a goofy look on his face, and stopped singing.

Reaching her hand out for him she smiled, looking every bit as drugged up as she was "Jamie! Come sit with me."

How could he refuse an invitation like that. He sat on his bed, facing her and gently took her hand trying not to mess with her IV. "How are you feeling, doll?"

Her smile grew and she squeezed his hand "Awesome. Best I've been since the hospital."

Bucky smirked "Helen must have given you the good drugs."

Her eyes grew wide "Oh no, no, Jamie. I don't do drugs." She whispered loudly "Am I gonna get in trouble?"

He chuckled "Don't worry sweetheart, I'll keep your secret."

She looked at him shyly "Could you just hold me for a little bit?"

Bucky smiled "Of course, sweetheart." And pulled her into him.

"I'm gonna rest right now but we still need to talk" she slurred her words a bit as she curled into him and fell asleep. He relaxed and enjoyed her warmth next to him before dozing off himself.

Within a few days she no longer needed strong pain meds and was recovering well.

Bucky brought her some lunch "How are you feeling today? You look much better." He smiled warmly at her.

She shrugged "Improving, I guess. Getting bored of the same view. A little stir crazy."

They sat quietly for a moment before he spoke "You know, Y/N, you scared the Hell outta me. I wish you wouldn't rush into dangerous situations without thinking things thru."

She bristled "I wish you would listen to me and treat me as an equal. It wouldn't have been so dangerous if you hadn't blown me off."

Bucky felt his temper rising and tried to push it back down "You were in no condition to deal with Zemo. You had barely slept or eaten since your father died and you haven't taken proper care of your wounds since you lost your arm. What kind of fiance would I be if I just let you rush into a very dangerous situation like you did?"

She scoffed "Let me? If you let me? What are you my master? It's not your place to let me do anything, we're supposed to be partners and this won't work if you can't accept that. Besides, it wouldn't have been so dangerous if you had listened to me and backed me in the first place." She concentrated on her breathing to try and calm down.

Bucky sighed "Your father made me swear to protect you. I was trying to do the right thing, finally."

She shook her head "Is this some sort of sporadic protection based on your moods?"

Bucky shook his head "No, dammit Y/N I-" he took a deep breath and let it out slowly "I'm sorry. I don't know how to convince you of my sincerity. I'm trying to do better and I was worried about you. Which is why you will be under my personal care until Helen clears you."

She sat back and tried to relax again for a moment before her eyes filled with tears

"I'm sorry, Jamie. I know you didn't want me to go but I had to deal with Zemo myself. He's stalked me ever since I left him and I needed to see him go down." She looked around nervously

"He is gone, right? I don't really remember much after sneaking out."

Bucky considered telling her he was dead but there had been enough deceit since they agreed to marry so he stuck with the truth

"Zemo isn't dead but he was injured. Loki has him. He wants to make sure there aren't any other plots in the works. Zemo won't be getting anywhere near you again."

She nodded and visibly relaxed, then giggled "Good. Loki will take care of him." She squeezed his hand "Are we going to be ok? You sure you still want to marry me?" She paused "I mean knowing that I expect an equal partner?"

Bucky nodded and smiled softly at her "We're alright. I'd rather have a strong partner than some meek little wife. You scared the Hell outta me and I won't pretend I wasn't pissed but it's done now." He looked at her earnestly "Just please don't go off half cocked and throw yourself into trouble again."

She grinned at him "I can't promise I'll try but I'll try to try."

Bucky chuckled "Did you just quote Bart Simpson at me?"

She shrugged and smirked at him.

He ran a hand thru his hair "This is non negotiable. You're going to stay here and heal. Stop fighting me when I want to take care of you."

She huffed "Fine" leaned back and winced "Ugh, my whole body aches." then looked around "When can I get out of here?"

Bucky shook his head "Not any time soon. You're on bed rest until Helen says otherwise. I'll chain you to the bed this time if I have to, so be good."

She stuck her tongue out "I'm so much more fun when I'm bad."

He laughed again "I have no doubt, doll but being bad will have to wait until you are better."

"Do you think we should delay the wedding?" She looked around his room and smirked at him "I don't think we can fit everyone in here."

He shook his head at her, smiling "We'd better wait. I'm not marrying you until we can consummate the marriage." And winked at her.

She felt her face heat up and looked at her own hands, trying to ignore the heat in her core.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next 3 months Y/N followed Helen Cho's instructions to the letter. Including physical therapy to adjust to life with only one arm.

She was able to spend some time with her horses and did some riding with her mother leading her around the arena on Daisy. She had some challenges getting her balance but they took their time, a couple of days a week, and slowly she regained her seat.

Y/N and Bucky went on a number of dates, getting to know each other. Mostly staying in at her parents house which had a gourmet kitchen, formal dining room, screening room, music room, library, pool and tennis court. Not to mention the backyard with its plush lawn, pond/waterfall and gazebo decorated with fairy lights.

She introduced him to her horses and promised to teach him how to ride after the wedding.

They both felt the same pull to the other but were hesitant after everything that they had been through.

After a number of their dates they were both feeling more relaxed together, sitting together on the swing next to the pond when Bucky turned to face Y/N and reached for her hand "Y/N, doll. I'm so glad that you gave me another chance. I've really enjoyed getting to know you and feel like I'm falling deeper in love with you every day." He looked in her eyes hopefully "Can I kiss you?"

Y/N felt her whole body heat up and nodded "Yes, please. I thought you'd never-"

Bucky leaned forward silencing her with his lips firmly on hers, his right hand gently cupping her cheek, his left hand around her back pulling her closer to him. She tried to hold back a moan but it came out and he used the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. She opened up for him and felt his moan when their tongues met, fighting for dominance until she softened up for him. He pulled her into his lap where she could feel the beginning of his arousal and wiggled against him which caused Bucky to groan deep in his chest and pull away, hands gripping her hips to hold her still.

"Y/N honey you can't do that. Don't tease, I might burst. I want you so bad, doll." He leaned his forehead against hers, trying to catch his breath.

She smiled and tried to move again then whispered in his ear "You have me, Jamie."

His hands tightened on her hips "I thought we agreed to wait until the wedding. We can't-"

She kissed him again, more passionately, running her hand through his hair then pulling, hard, exposing his neck to her. She gave him a look and nipped at his neck before pulling back.

"We did and we will. I just don't want you to forget what you are waiting for. In case your mind wanders or someone else catches your eye. Can't have you straying."

Bucky looked at her in shock before kissing her again "Are you kidding? How could I forget?" His voice lowered "I still remember how sweet your pussy tastes, how tightly she gripped my fingers. I wouldn't dare risk losing you again and for so much more than your sweet, tight-"

She pushed him away after a chill ran through her "Ok I get it."

"Doll, no one could ever compare to you and you always keep me on my toes. I'm all yours until you get sick of me."

She smirked at him "I guess you need to learn how to keep me on my toes then, Jamie."

Not long after that nite, Helen and the physical therapist gave the ok to start working on her prosthetic. This involved time in Tony's lab which would have been more interesting if he didn't insist that she touch nothing.

After a few meetings Tony almost had it ready and Y/N was getting bored sitting in his lab. "Tones! What are you doing? I didn't know this was going to take all day."

Tony rolled his eyes "Well, it's not like a new pair of shoes, you know. A prosthetic has to be fitted and attached properly, especially one like this."

He walked over to her with her new arm. It was a soft ashy grey with threads of gold like Bucky's.

"It's physically almost identical to your arm. Obviously the color doesn't match but I thought the softer color would be nice. It was tough getting the fingers as slender as yours but I think we did a decent job." He fussed with the piece on her shoulder for a minute before attaching the prosthetic.

She smiled "It's beautiful." She paused, surprised "I can feel you touching it, not just the pressure but the warmth of your hand." Her smile grew as did her eyes, which were leaking a bit "Tony, how did you do that?"

Tony smirked at her "I'm a genius, that's how." Then he mumbled "And Princess Shuri of Wakanda helped."

"I'll have to send her a thank you card, or a diamond necklace or something." She was looking her new arm over when something glinted in the light

"What's this?" She muttered as she stared, then looked up at Tony questioningly.

Tony grinned "Barnes brought it over a few weeks ago. I think the diamond goes well with the vibranium, don't you?" He looked scared when she didn't respond right away "Shit. You did want it, right? I mean you are still marrying him right?"

"I love it, Tony. All of it." Y/N hugged him until he was rasping for her to stop. She pulled away, looked down at her new arm "Yeah, so I guess I need to learn my strength. Sorry Tones"

They spent the afternoon going over the arms features, attaching and detaching, learning all the details.

Tony sighed "You still need to have physical therapy to teach your brain how to regulate your touch, it'll take time but you'll get there."

She looked at him seriously "Will three months be good?"

He nodded "As long as you keep up with the physical therapist and work on it, that should be enough time but this will be a lifelong deal since there will be updates.

Why? What's in three months?"

"We haven't sent the invites out yet but the wedding is in three months. I need to ask a favor."

Tony looked shocked "Another favor? Do you know what went into creating this arm? How much time I-"

She giggled "Of course I know but this is very important and I don't think anyone else can help me."

Tony sighed "Alright, lay it on me."

Y/N looked at him earnestly and whispered "Would you give me away?" Her voice cracking on the words.

His eyes grew wide "Me? Are you sure? I'm just-."

"Just my godfather and one of the few people I know I can trust and depend on. Please Tony?"

He hugged her "Of course, sweetheart. You know I'm here for you, always."

After her talk with Tony, Y/N went to his penthouse to find Pepper and Morgan, they had plans for lunch and dress shopping.

Since she knew it would take time for Y/N to adjust to her new arm Pepper ordered in and had one of her favorite designers bring in their latest wedding fashion.

When they couldn't find anything Y/N liked they all sat down and tossed ideas around until the designer produced an old sketch of a dress that Y/N loved. They made a few changes until it was perfect, then took her measurements and left with an appointment for a fitting in 3 weeks.

Y/N sat back on the sofa and looked at Pepper "I guess we're off." She forced a small smile "I'm really doing this."

Pepper took her hands "Hey, if you need to take more time or just cancel the whole thing-"

Y/N shook her head "No. No, I'm alright. The last year has just been a lot." She smiled a real smile and told herself and Pepper "It's gonna be good. I'll be good."

@bigphattygyal @cjand10 @lokiandbuckysdoll

Chapter 23

@kimomoraba @avery199 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @esposadomd

@sebsgirl71479 @calwitch @hhiggs

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #mob!au #guarded heart

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chihirolovebot · 11 months

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okay okay prepare for my ranting but OHHHHHHHHHMYGOD i just love your writing so so much.

you just AHSHSTGGFF ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT GETTING THE READER HOOKED. I SWEAR . ITS UNREAL.

no joke . i’ve reread sleep awake probably about 4 times now. it has been on my mind for the past month. send help .

I LOVE LOVE LOVE physicist’s relationship dynamics with the rest of the cast. thank goodness we’re not isolated with kokichi the whole story. ohmygod. i think i’d die.

i feel like . phys could really do with a massive cry in rantaro’s arms. he became a brotherly figure so quickly for them and AUGHHHthey make me so upset. him preventing a meltdown too?? WAAAAAHHH … gotta love him for that. hopefully we’ll get to see more of him in here is where my body lies .

SPEAKING OF THAT. i’m looking forward to seeing the bad endings / alternate universes in it. like … if kirumi killed phys. or korekiyo succeeded in killing phys. or …if kokichi didn’t walk in when gonta attempted to kill phys . ohmygod. phys almost died a lot. i hope we get to see how everyone reacts. ANYWAY i can’t wait to see phys and the others be happy. what the hell. i need this in my life.

back to friendship dynamics….the trio recently formed by BELIEVING in phys??? is just AUGHHHHH SO SO CUTE. THEY HAVE MY HEART. I WANNA GIVE THEM ALL A HUG.

and…with the main man himself …. WOW. just. WOW. their dynamic is everything. they make me wanna cry. they are married. they are divorced. they are nerds. they are losers. they are. my everything. they are

“And yet—this deal he’d made you. That was trust, naked and unmistakable. That was far more than he’d offered anybody else. Everything else aside, Kokichi trusted you. Wasn’t that enough?

If the small pit in your stomach was anything to go by—no, it wasn’t. And you didn’t know why”

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH THEY JUST MAKE ME SICK. SO SICK. i’m really curious how phys will react to kokichi’s plan for *you know what* or that he’ll just keep them in the dark. again. because he knows they wouldn’t let him? I DONT KNOW. whatever it is. i’m not ready for it.

despite the tears that i’m gonna shed in the future ……..IM EXCITED TO SEE THE NEXT CHAPTERS PLAY OUT. im looking forward to the changes you’re gonna make in chapter 6. really curious what that’s gonna be .

you’ve captured kokichi’s character to a tee and i can’t get enough of it i swear .

i love that phys has autism too. like. if it isn’t completely obvious by now. so do i and it’s just. wow. THEY R JUST LIKE ME!!!!

also. i’m very excited to see where you take that persona 5 fic. wink wink.

ANYWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THIS. THIS IS THE BEST FIC I’VE READ EVER . I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. GOODBYE .

HELLO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO .

ur so kind this is like. one of the sweetest asks ive ever received i was pacing all day and im just answering now because i wanted to have the time to write out a thoughtful response because ohhghgh my god u made my absolute week with this thank you SO much my angel !!!!!

starting this story it was so important to me that like . phys has Other Friends. i think i mentioned this before but i think a big part of the story is that Ouma's mindset is wrong and unhealthy which is definitely starting to be examined this late in the story and like. the way he goes about doing stuff is definitely (mostly) well-intentioned but his mindset and philosophies are so Off and Wrong that i think ONLY having his mindset to influence Phys would a) ensure that phys only develops in a way that makes them more like him, which is NOT good because his mindset is wrong and unhealthy, and b) would make them extremely lonely when that isnt what i want the story to be about. if i COULD i would go back and give them some more interaction with momota because he's ouma's foil character, but i like him giving phys advice and phys taking on bits of his philosphy, too. they basically take an amalgamation of their friends' perspectives and learn to have a healthier outlook that way. so yeah . its super important for phys to have friends, especially optimistic ones like momota, kiibo and chabashira .

MY BODY LIES!!!! i haven't forgotten about this, just planning on properly starting it after i finish sleep awake's main story because between that , my p5 fic, and my jojo fic its kind of A Lot. but amami will DEFINITELY be a prominent character in it because i love his and phys's relationship so much. i tried to stretch it as much as possible in the original story before i knew i had to kill him off :(( and YEAH so i think a bad ending will be the first chapter which will probably be if shinguuji succeeded in his murder attempt , mostly focusing on the aftermath and the effect it has on the rest of the characters which . was pretty heavy for a first chapter so i may make it the second instead lmao.

I CANT SAY MUCH ABT FUTURE STUFF but i CAN say that some of ch5 and a fair amount of ch6 will be different and im super excited to show you what i have in store for it !!! the tone i'm going for is bittersweet so . hopefully that tides you over for a bit :3

the new trio... the phys apostles as i'm calling them. they're so silly to me. something about each of them knowing phys in very unique ways . kiibo seeing phys as soon as they woke up and always being the first to believe in them , chabashira seeing phys after they killed shinguuji and being the only person to see that side of them, and saihara being a sort of mirror to phys's grief in the early chapters after they both lost the most important person to them ( at that time ). i thought it made sense that they would all be a little more reluctant to believe that phys had been totally brainwashed because they all have a lot more respect for them than that , and also just . know them better as a person than the others , who are definitely still well-intentioned , just ignorant.

ouma... my little freakweirdo bf . characterising him is such a challenge but im so so happy you enjoy how i've done it !!!! physouma's dynamic is my favourite i've ever written in anything, i think . it's exactly like you said !!! they're constantly on this weird emotional journey where phys is attempting to get closer and ouma is attempting to distance himself but its not working because they both care about each other so much and like. yeah . they make me a bit insane too . writing phys slowly discovering their feelings has been super fun too . i usually dislike the oblivious love interest trope because more often than not it feels like it's played for miscommunication problems BUT i feel like with ouma it only makes sense because like . its impossible to know where you stand with ouma even if he straight-up says 'im in love with you' you'd just be like ?? yeah ok buddy sure. good one . you got me.

autistic phys is so real to me as i obviously also have autism and . i was projecting super hard when i created them teehee. THE PERSONA FIC !!!! i know its been a while since i updated but i AM working on the next chapter its definitely not abandoned :3

THANK U AGAIN SO SOSOSOS MUCH FOR THIS . I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER <333

#dear venus.#🏚.sleep awake

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sailorshadzter · 1 year

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you know whats really fucked up?

my brother in law ruining my christmas gift for my sister out of spite.

im so hurt. im so mad. im so fucking upset i could actually hurt him.

whats even more fucked up?

i cant even retaliate (which is childish anyways but still) because im so afraid that if i overstep, when my sister is gone, he'll take the boys away from me. i cant even stomach that.

ive been crying every day since last week when my baby nephew got sick (he's fine now) & dealing w/ my sister as she continues to decline. now this? after all i do for him? for his children?? for all ill do in the future??? all the money i spend, time i spend, EVERYTHING. washing dishes, washing clothes, changing beds, feeding kids, everything i do because i love my nephews & because i wants what is best for them. but also because im happy to make life as easy for them as possible.

and this is what he does?

i just... no words.

#personal #text post #my feelings are hurt in a way i cant even put to words

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funshinebf · 16 days

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dude when i was younger my mom used to get REALLY mad at me cause a lot of times where she was having us clean the house i would need to stop and go use the bathroom, and id end up in there for a While. she got really mad and accused me of just hiding in there to avoid cleaning. but like i really was just having stomach problems. but i just realized like.. i have dealt with anxiety related stomach issues for Years. there is a very good chance that was what was happening then too. i had a Lot of anxiety surrounding the times where my mom would make us do chores (for several reasons, most of which being that things always piled up, so they took hours to get through, and my mom has pretty bad anger issues and problems with perfectionism, so any time we had to clean it was very hard not to do something the 'wrong' way and upset her, triggering her to verbally abuse us) so like. its literally not a stretch at all to assume that this was an early case of my anxiety related stomach problems... i also very frequently would start feeling sick before any kind of social event, such as going to a friend's house, which was AWFUL because then i'd either have to leave early or use their bathroom, which was hell for me. its gotten a lot better as far as anxiety induced problems go, i dont deal with that sort of thing very often anymore, its only occasional. but instead now i just have a Very sensitive stomach, and i think IBS or something similar. on a regular basis i deal with constipation, and i dont shit more than maybe 3 times a week, which ive been told is Not Normal, and that people are supposed to shit like once a day. but then also every few weeks or sometimes months i get horrible diarrhea that traps me on the toilet for at least an hour every time, or sometimes takes me on and off it all day. its not fun! i feel like the diarrhea episodes are like... my body cleaning out after the long periods of constipation. its like dude this has to leave already. get rid of it ALL right now. and its awful and i hate it. but my mom has told me that if i try to pursue an IBS diagnosis that itll be a pain in the ass, cause they make you take certain things out of your diet for a while to try and find the cause. im not sure if thats fully accurate but my mom IS a nurse so she's usually pretty right on that stuff? but ive also heard other people say getting an IBS diagnosis was really simple and easy for them, so i dont know... ive been told by my dr before to start taking mirilax (powder that gets mixed into a drink) every day, but 1) im really bad at remembering to do it 2) when i had my mental hospital stay they had me take it and it made me miserable cause it was just making me have the diarrhea episodes for several days on end instead of my usual once every now and then. (this especially sucked cause the hospital only had one bathroom we could use during the day, and we werent allowed in our rooms unless we were going to bed. plus the room doors had to stay open, the room bathrooms only had this weird half-door foam thing for privacy. all the other kids with rooms in my hallway could hear me shitting my guts out. it was insanely embarrassing.) and 3) the mirilax label says that you arent supposed to take it for like more than i week i think it is? like its not meant for every day use according to the directions?? so it confuses me lmfao. like my dr says every day but the label says not every day so what is the truth. anyways im rambling about my shitting habits. again. whatever you all love me

#my post #tmi #unsanitary #i got so off topic. this was about my anxiety shits at first...

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angstysebfan · 3 years

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The Past Can Break You - 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: Smut 18+ only please

When Bucky made it up to your shared room he slowly and silently opened the door. You were sitting on your bed, your back facing the door, but he could tell you were crying by the shaking of your shoulders. It broke his heart to see you so upset.

He closed the door behind him and walked over to sit next to you. He wrapped his metal arm around your waist and pulled you into his embrace. You then openly sobbed into his chest. Bucky caressed your back and kissed you on the head, allowing you to cry.

When you started to calm down you sighed deeply, sniffed, and said, “Are you going to break up with me now?”

Bucky’s heart completely broke. He put his finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “No, baby. Of course not. I love you. I love you so much! Why would you think that?” He asks.

“Because before we started dating you told me about Dot and how much she meant to you. You were going to propose when you got home from the war. Well here is your chance to live the life you wanted with the girl you wanted,” you say as tears again start to leak from your eyes.

“Baby, I’m not the same man I was then. Yes, I still have love for Dot, but I’m so madly in love with you. I promise,” he said, kissing your forehead, nose, and then lips.

“I’m going to help Dot become acclimated to the world now, and help her settle. But I promise I will always be here for you, ok?” He asks.

You nod, feeling slightly better. “I love you,” you say.

“I love you too. I’ve gotta get down to the lab. I promised Dot I would be down there with her. But I won’t be long,” he says before kissing you again and then leaving.

You sit and wait for him, hoping it wouldn’t take too long. But after 4 hours you give up on him and go to sleep. You hope that he will keep his word on still loving you. You don’t want to lose him. You love him too much.

- -

1 month later

Over the last several weeks, you’ve only seen Bucky’s about a handful of times. He’s always off with Dot, helping her learn the ways of today, and helping her deal with her “trauma”. Every time he tries to give you a little time she always calls for him saying how upset she is or that she’s about to have a panic attack. You try and be understanding but at the same time it’s really starting to annoy you.

One of the worst things is that he barely even sleeps with you anymore. This morning you woke up to an empty bed, yet again, and head downstairs for breakfast. When you got down to the common room you heard the sound of Dot’s giggles and saw her sitting on the couch with Bucky, her feet on his lap. At that point you lost your appetite, so you went up to the roof instead.

After an hour you hear the door to the roof open as you’re staring off into the distance. You feel arms wrapped around your waist as a stubble chin rest on your shoulder. You decide to ignore him and continue staring off into the distance and several thoughts past of your mind.

“Was looking for you,” Bucky said as he kissed your shoulder. “Why you up here all alone?”

You sigh, “well I’m used to being alone a lot these days. And I guess I didn’t feel like sitting there watching you and Dot flirt in the common room,“ you say annoyed.

You hear him sigh behind you as he puts his forehead on your shoulder. “I know, and I’m so sorry that I haven’t been around much. I’m just trying to do my best to help her,” He said.

“I promise I’ll try and do better at managing my time so that I can spend more time with my girl,“ he says as he kisses the back of your head and trails kisses all the way down to your neck.

He turns you around in his arms and rests his forehead on yours. Before you know it you are both swaying to no music, until Bucky starts singing your song. You wrap your arms around his neck as you both slow dance to your song as Bucky sings. When he finishes you kiss him passionately.

“Tonight we will have date night. No Dot, no interruptions, just you, me, and that new lingerie you bought a few weeks ago,” he says as he continues to sway you.

You smile widely at the thought of spending a night alone with your boyfriend. “Oh Bucky, that sounds amazing! I’ve missed you so much, and I get what your doing, but it’s hard,” you say.

“I know. I’ve been neglecting you and it ends now. You are my priority, not Dot. And I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Tonight,” he says.

You kiss him in reply.

- -

Later that night, after dinner and another bout of dancing, you come out of the bathroom with your new lingerie set. You stand in the doorway staring at your half naked boyfriend. Bucky’s eyes darken with lust as he starts to stalk towards you like a lion about to pounce.

“You look good enough to eat, baby,” he says huskily. He then pulls you into his arms with a searing kiss.

He leads you to the bed and throws you on it, before jumping on top, connecting your lips again. His hand travels down to your core and he moves your panties to the side, putting pressure on your clit. He starts rubbing at an intensely fast pace, making you lose your breath. Very quickly he pulls your first orgasm from you.

Before you come back to earth you feel your new panties being ripped from you, as well as the bra. Bucky loved to rip your underwear all the time. He kissed his way down your stomach to your wet core and dove in. Your back arched off the bed.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” You moaned as your hand pulled his hair.

He then stuck two metal fingers into you and started pumping. You knew it wouldn’t be long now. You couldn’t stand the amazing sensation of his fingers and tongue. You started to feel the build up of pressure in your belly.

“Bucky! I’m going to cum,” you cry as you again orgasm on his face.

After a moment Bucky kisses his way back up your lips. You taste yourself on his tongue, which makes you wetter, if that’s possible. “You are the best thing I have ever tasted, Doll. Truly exquisite,” he says.

He then pulls off his pants and boxers before lining up with you. He slowly starts to push in, which feels amazing. After a moment he completely bottoms out in you. He kissed you, and just as he is about to thrust, you are both interrupted by FRIDAY.

“Sergeant Barnes, Ms. Jones is requesting to see you sir,” she says.

Bucky groans into your neck, “Tell her I’m busy and we’ll talk in the morning,” he says.

“I’m sorry sir, but she appears to be having a panic attack and having trouble breathing,” FRIDAY says.

“Shit,” Bucky says as he pulls out of you and grabs his sweats. He looks at you guiltily, “I’m sorry. I’ll be back in 10 minutes tops, and then we can finish what we started,” he says before running out the door.

You stare at the door as it closes in shock. He just left you in the middle of sex for his ex. What the hell! You lay there and wait, but after 2 hours you decide to get dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. You take your ruined lingerie and throw it out. You lay back on your bed thinking about how you will have a stern discussion when he comes back.

Before you know it, another 2 hours go by and it’s the middle of the night. You’re more than angry, now you are hurt. You grab your pillow and your blanket and leave your shared room with Bucky, and head to your old room. After locking the door, you inform FRIDAY not to let anyone, especially Bucky in. You climb into bed and allow a few tears before falling asleep.

- -

Bucky woke up the next morning disoriented. When he realized he was still in Dot’s room he panicked. After he finally got Dot to calm down last night he went to leave but Dot begged him to stay until she fell asleep. He must have dozed off too. He quickly got out of the bed and quietly exited the room.

Steve was coming down the hall and saw Bucky’s coming out of Dot’s room. “ why are you in Dot‘s room?” Steve asked.

“She had a panic attack last night and I came to calm her down and fell asleep. Y/N is going to be so pissed at me,” Bucky said.

“Wasn’t last night date night?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded, “Yea and Dot interrupted right in the middle of sex. I left Y/N there naked on the bed like a jackass,” Bucky said angrily.

“You left her in the middle of sex to deal for your ex!? Why didn’t you ask me to deal with it?” Steve yelled.

“I don’t know. Dot says she only feel comfortable with me. I’m just trying to help her. But I’m going to lose my girl in the process. I’ll talk to Dot later about it, but things have to change. I can’t keep ignoring my girl,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded, “Yeah, we’ll good luck with talking to her after last night,” he said before slapping Bucky’s shoulder and leaving.

Bucky sighed and went to your shared room, only to see that you weren’t there. He checked the kitchen, common room, roof, gym, and lab but couldn’t find you. The last place he went was to your old bedroom. He found the door locked, which told him he found you.

“FRIDAY, can you please open the door?” He asked the AI.

“I’m sorry Sergeant Barnes. But I was requested by Agent Y/L/N to not let anyone, especially you in,” FRIDAY said.

Bucky’s heart dropped. He really messed up.

- -

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3

A lot happening in this chapter. Bucky being stupid, but at least he is aware. Now can he fix it? will the reader let him? And what else will Dot do? Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #Bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x dot

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its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons · 3 years

Text

pairings: Lucifer x Fem!Reader, Mammon x Fem!Reader, Leviathan x Fem!Reader

warnings: tw abandonment (but it turns out okay, I promise), mentions of the act of birthing,

A/N: you came to the right place! as the second oldest of six children, I have some experience when it comes to pregnancy:) I hope you don't mind, nonny, but I'm gonna split this up into a few parts so I can do the dateables as well!

Lucifer

The moment you had shyly produced the positive pregnancy test from the pocket of your hoodie, it felt like Lucifer had entered into a fever dream filled with nursery designs, baby names, the expenses that pile up before the baby even arrives, researching human pregnancy, keeping you out of harm's way and healthy and happy...

So when you first stagger out of bed and rush to his bathroom, hand clamped over your mouth and one shaky hand on your slightly swollen tummy, Lucifer isn't surprised

He is very concerned, however. You had been so nervous to tell him of your pregnancy, you waited until the last moment before your bump was noticeable to tell him

That meant you had been suffering from all of these pregnancy side effects before he'd permanently moved you to sleep in his room

Lucifer hoists himself out of bed and pads into the bathroom, gathering up your hair, if any, into his fist and pulling your hunched form between his legs for support

You hate this feeling with a passion; throbbing stomach and a lump in your throat with little to no vertigo and tears rolling down your face as you try and catch your breath

You tell him it hurts, you ask him if he can take the pain away as your head rests on his chest, lashes fluttering with wooziness

Lightheadedness was unbearably common; you would suddenly grip his sleeve and he could watch the color drain from your face and your knees get shaky, body beginning to sway

He always catches you though, finding a place for you to sit or lie down and gather yourself

Tummy rubs become more common; the feeling of his hands against your bare tummy, spreading their warmth and nullifying the ache, allowing you to relax

He's extremely attentive as well and can tell whenever you need something

Water? Here's a cup sweetheart, remember, you're hydrating and eating for two people!

Craving something? Chocolate? Fried pickles? Chips of some kind? sweets? He's stockpiled anything you could want and locked it away just for you.

I feel like Lucifer would want your baby to be a little girl. A little princess he can carry on his shoulders and spoil with his love and gifts.

Satan ruined him for having another baby boy, but if that's how the cards fall, he certainly wouldn't mind. Unfortunately, he'd be constantly walking on eggshells, afraid he'll make your little boy into another rebellious child

That's the last thing he wants

Lucifer does his best to keep his kid away from Satan and Belphie and out of the 'Formerly Anti-Lucifer League', but sometimes you're taking a nap or out shopping with Asmodeus, and Satan and his brothers manage to coerce the little one into their shenanigans

One thing is for sure though, even if Lucifer didn't want any kids and the creation of one was unplanned, he would never ever turn you away

He's very responsible and does anything in his power to make the pregnancy as easy and happy as possible

On the day you are to give birth, he's a mess

He has already sweat through 3 shirts by the time the IV has been secured to your hand

Everything he says doesn't come without a stutter

He's squeezing your hand and kissing your hair during labor, trying to distract you from the burn between your legs as much as he can

You probably need extra stitches from baby's horns ngl

Definitely cries before the baby is even put in your arms

Refuses to let his brothers come and see you, "They can wait until we go home."

Lucifer is Smitten™

He smooches the tiredness under your eyes and tells you to get some rest

Surprisingly, he enjoys a lot of the names from the human world you discuss and will most likely pick one of those

But if it's a girl, her name is Lilith. I'm sorry MC, your input is invalid at this time

You don't regret 'final day in the devildom sex' at all when you get to witness the Avatar of Pride reduced to tears when the nurse puts the child in his arms

P-P-Pregnant? MC, ya better be jokin'...

Mammon

You weren't, judging by the pregnancy test(s) clutched in your fist

He's not mad at you, he's not upset, (in fact, he's the happiest he's ever been), he just scared

Broken Condom Victim™

He loved you just a bit too hard last week...

but let's be real here, HIS MC, carrying HIS baby?

That's like the highest level of ownership on his lovely human you could get! Levi, Asmo, Beel, Lucifer, everyone would be SOOOO JEALOUS!!!

AND

He gets to have a little one running around again!

You saw how sweet he was to babified Satan in the obey me anime premier! He LOVES little kids and nothing would make him happier than someone to play with (besides MC of course) that wouldn't make fun of him for messing up and being silly!

AND

You're so pretty!!

I mean, ya were always pretty, but somethin' about ya is different and yer even more beautiful than before somehow!

Mammon said, his entire face the shade of a pomegranate

Pregnancy glow is REAL

Asmo agrees, after stealing you away from an extremely overprotective mammon and hiding in the attic to chat without disturbance (mammon)

But as much as YOU know he would be the BEST father, comments from his brothers continue to drag him down and the evenings he cried into your shoulder became more and more frequent as your pregnancy progresses

Mammon, as we all know, is, in fact, a tiddy man

He likes to touch and squeeze them, and just gently hold them while cuddling or even browsing in a store, he'd just come up behind you and touch your boobs

(also, mammon likes all sizes, so if you have next to no tiddy like me, you'll be at his mercy as well. those with the large honkers, however, watch yourself)

Now that there's a miracle growing in your tummy, other parts of your body are preparing for its arrival, including your chest

Swelling, swelling, soreness, growing and darkening of the nipples, and swelling make it so Mammon can no longer touch your pretty tiddies :(((

(grammarly didn't like that word)

On the day mammon snack size was to be born, mammon is silent but extremely fidgety

It was early in the morning when you'd shaken him awake like, "mammoney, I'm going into labor" and he was out of bed and out the door with your luggage before you finished blinking

After grabbing your DDD's and you, he carries you down to the car (what dysfunctional family doesn't have a car? a nice one (Mercedes, Audi, you get the idea) for lucifer and a Volkswagon bus or something for his siblings to share) and drives quickly, but very carefully drives to the hospital, holding your hand the whole way.

He covers your eyes when they put the IV in, just in case you're squeamish, and rubs your arms as the drugs begin to take effect and there's a little fear in your eyes at the thought of pushing an entire human/demon being out of your coochie

He assures you and never lets go of your hand no matter how long you're in labor

When it's all over with and you are resting in your hospital bed waiting for the doctors to finish the Apgar tests and give you your baby

Mammon is speechless as the nurse places the baby in your arms

That's HIS KID!!

Immediately starts crying

The little horns poking out of the blanket? Those look just like his!!

Judging by the bit of hair on it's head, it looks like the baby will have hair like yours

If it's a baby boy, he thinks it should be named "Mammon II" but you just giggle and remind him of the deal he made with lucifer long ago, that his first born child, no matter the gender, had to have 'Lucifer' somewhere in their name

Human names are dumb, except for yours of course, so he searches for suitable demon names

The last thing he wants is a kid named Lucifer, so that will be the kid's middle name

He really regrets his past decisions now

Leviathan

"Levi?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm pregnant."

*leviathan has been KO'd*

No joke, this man is literally floored and didn't wake up for a while and you were afraid you had just slain the fucking Lord of Shadows

Some Henry you were

You had to call Lucifer in to wake him up because he was still flat on the floor a half and hour later

Mammon is more that happy to tip a bucket of ice water on the face of the son of a bitch that impregnated HIS MC

Levi wakes up and pounces on you, gripping you tightly by the arms

"You're k-kidding r-right?"

Him? A father?

Uhhhhhhh

Unfortunately, Leviathan.exe has stopped working, try again in two thousand years

I hate to say this, but he definitely detaches himself for a while until his brothers, especially Asmodeus, literally beat him into shape

He comes back to you, a little bruised and sobbing, but not from the beating he just received

He's so sorry he neglected you! He's such a horrible demon, undeserving of your welcoming nature

He's gonna be the worst dad, and he's not good enough for you, and his kid will hate him just like everyone else does, he doesn't deserve you, he's so sorry for making you suffer the side effects and feel all alone,

Sir, I-

FALSE

It's your turn to shake some sense into him, reminding him that he would be the. best. dad!!

Not to mention the fact that you were just happy he realized his mistakes and came back to you

He begs you to sleep in his bed tub with him for security, and you have to admit his tail is very comforting

Levi does extensive research on human pregnancy and now at the dinner table, instead of talking about the latest slice of life anime he'd been watching, he's just spouting random pregnancy facts and you're laughing so hard it brings you to tears

When the weird dreams and vivid nightmares happen, Levi is right behind you, rubbing your swollen tummy, and letting you talk about them

A lot of them were about him and about your future child

Most of them were about how they got hurt in some way, either that or YOU got hurt and the baby died

These, more often than not, brought you to tears and stress you out, but Levi is right there, okay? Nothing can hurt you, nor would he let anything happen to you on his watch

Learns how to massage you (safely) to reduce stress

Definitely talks to the baby a lot

Levi begged you to be induced so the birth was safe and not a sudden occasion and you agree

On the day the doctor recommended, you arrived at the hospital and got down to business

Levi didn't really want to be in the room with you, but he knew he had to for your sake and he'd played a few birth simulators from both perspectives and you really needed him

Kinda sits there awkwardly comforting you and encouraging you, holding your hand and caressing your cheeks, a bit flushed from exertion and tears

Listen

If the baby is a boy, his name will be Henry and that's final

If it's a girl, he doesn't really care, as long as you don't name her 'mammonia' or something dumb like that

definitely crashes your hospital bed to snuggle until the baby is ready

cries when the baby wraps its extremely small digits around one of his own

also at the little horns protruding from its head

and the tuft of purple in its head

Also Smitten™

He's so excited to get home and show off his beautiful baby to his brothers and then formulate a plan to raise the kid to live and breathe TSL just like his daddy <3

July 9th: VIP MEMBERS, GET YALLS JUICE!!

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

playing vices

“A/n a blurb bc ive been working on my novel and ive missed writing for Kirigan :))

I am a fool that has played into her vices enough to make them addictions. That must have been Kirigan's plan. He knows that I don't agree with his methods. He is also much too aware of the fact that I am beyond attached to him. He plays into that fact often, lulling me to him whenever he feels that my conscious is in danger of driving a wedge between us.

Which is why I have become accustomed to falling asleep while running my fingers along his skin as he whispers things much sweeter than anything he would say while fully awake.

But now it's late and he's not here. I sit up, kicking the comforter off of me slightly. It seems Aleksander has been more and more absent these days. When he's not with me, the odds that he's doing something that hurts people are high. His absence is also starting to make me feel like he's losing interest in me. It would make sense considering the fact that he looked twice at me in any capacity has never seemed logical.

Maybe that's why we've never indicated commitment to each other. I don't know what commitment would be with him. He seems to grand to be considered a 'boyfriend', but there's something more than friendly about how he holds onto me. I've never cared for labels until I started feeling displaced.

"You're still awake."

I press my lips together, trying to seem a little calmer. "Couldn't sleep."

"Troubling thoughts?" The question is more weighted than it should be. Everything with him is.

“Has anyone ever called you dramatic?”

His lips quirk upwards, hinting at a smile. Warmth pools in my stomach, the way it always does when he lets me see the slight glimmer of light that’s still in him. Sometimes I think he only shows me this softness when he feels that I may pull away. It may be rooted in manipulative intent, but I know that it’s real.

“Only you would have the gall,” he says, voice low yet not dark.

Kirigan’s easiness coaxes a smile from my lips. A small one, but I can feel the way the crack in my tension feeds his confidence. He takes pride in slipping past the walls I only try to create when cautious or irritated. Today I’m both but I need to pretend like I’m neither. The more resistance he senses, the more forward and effective his advances become.

I keep my expression neutral. I’m sure Alina could get away with calling him that. I wish she was more unlikable. It would be easier to hide my irritation if I could blame that displaced feeling in my chest on two people. But of course Alina is wonderful, beautiful, and his equal.

Whatever. It’s not like we’re really anything. Every time I see him I wait for his betrayal. There’s nothing worth using me for, and somehow that makes me feel worse. He should have never looked at me twice let alone encourage whatever strange relationship we’ve created.

My silence seems to displease him because he approaches my bedside easily in quick yet patient strides. Now that he’s close enough to touch I feel some of the ice I managed to solidify melt.

Kirigan lifts a hand and places it on my knee easily. I stiffen instinctually, he runs his thumb over my skin to fight my resistance. “Who’s upset you?”

I breathe, forcing myself to ease. “No one has.” I don’t have to meet his gaze to know he doesn’t believe me. That’s the core source of our attachment, we can read each other with less than a look. “I’m just getting a headache,” not a full lie, “I’ll feel better after some sleep.” He squeezes my knee slightly, a soft way of asking me for more. “I don’t think I’ll be good company tonight.”

His hand leaves my knee, fingertips barely grazing my thigh as he moves his hand to hold beneath my chin. I still as he turns my head so that I have no choice but to meet his gaze. “You don’t need to be good company when what I want is your presence.”

I press my lips together to avoid melting into the promising pools of warmth that make up his irises. He spent all day with Alina, took Zoya’s side in an argument I had with her earlier this week, and now he comes to me late at night. He seems to only want to acknowledge me when we’re alone, and it’s not like I want more than that. I just don’t know how long my heart will be able to teeter the line between nothing and something. I’m a fool for having let it go on this long.

The only problem is that his steady stare is chasing away all of my rationality. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone more in the mood to offer their presence.”

My curtness leaves something behind his expression dull, the hint of a smile that was growing on him has now vanished. I am met with a stoic disposition I have never had directed at me.

“They’re not you,” he counters, voice edged by something I don’t understand.

That’s the point. They’re not me--I’m average. I can’t offer power and my relationship experience is basic at best. I don’t want to have this argument, not when I’m basically fighting for him to let me go when that’s not what I want.

I’m making it easier. If it hurts this much when I was only on the cusp of something, imagine the pain I’l feel if I let it continue. I turn my head away so that he’s no longer holding my chin. “Not a bad thing.”

“To me it is.” He doesn’t hesitate, my chest swells. His thumb brushes against my cheek, soft and comforting. “I’m tired,” he says this like it’s a confession. His admission hangs in the air for a long moment, as heavy and weighted as my heart. “If you’re angry, wait until morning.”

Something in my heart cracks. “I’m not angry.” My gaze drops, my thoughts struggling to come together. “I’ll be nicer to deal with in the morning.”

“Y/n,” his tone twists from distant to warning, “the last time you asked me to leave was when you discovered something you didn’t like.”

I almost wince at the way he’s worded it. When I found out what his real plans were, I told myself I had to leave. He skirted past all of my reservations and walls, twisting my doubt away through coddling whispers and shy brushes of fingers.

“This isn’t like that.” Not a lie.

He exhales slowly, the sound dangerously sharp. “Then what is it?”

“Why did you come here so late?” The question leaves me too sharply. I’m exposing too much but I can’t help it. “If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine.” My voice is flat. “I’m sure Alina will be happy to fill me in.” I can’t bring myself to take in his reaction. “And if she can’t, I’m sure Zoya will be able to.”

He’s silent for a long second. “Unwarranted jealousy doesn’t suit you.”

His confidence sparks something angry within me. “I am not jealous.” The most blatant lie of the night, but I don’t care. I turn my head to glare at him, “and don’t just tact on ‘unwarranted’ before something that’s true just because it’s easier for it not to be.”

I watch his expression cautiously until the slightest tilt of his lips adds to my anger. He’s enjoying this or he did this intentionally or both. “Darling,” he hums, voice soft, “you are the only person that makes me feel peace.”

My stomach flutters, the sensation threatening to break my weak resolve. “I am not particularly powerful,” I breathe, voice stiff, “or particularly...” How do I explain this all to him? “Anything.” He’s everything, and I am nothing but average. “I’m average at best, there’s no reason for you to want anything to do with me, and that’s fine--but don’t lie and pretend that that’s not true.”

The sentence is barely out fo my mouth before I feel myself pulled towards him by the collar of my nightgown. His lips are on mine before I can question where this is going. I kiss him back too quickly, but any effort I expend is returned fervently.

He pushes me back slightly as quickly as he yanked me forward. He doesn’t explain. I don’t ask him to. I should demand an answer and shove him away from me or pull him back towards me. But I do nothing. I just stare at him as he stares at me.

When the weight of the silence threatens to break something in me, I force myself to speak, “Kirigan--”

“Aleksander.” The name is soft and so fragile I worry it will shatter in the air before it can fully reach me. “You know there’s much I’m not ready to say, but that,” he exhales, the sound so sad I want to reach for him, “that is the one name I have not given to myself and I want you to have it.” Something conflicted crosses his features. “I would never give that to someone average.”

Emotion swells in my chest, heavy yet not painful. “Aleksander.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to call to him or if I’m just trying to feel his name--his true name--on my lips.

His eyes widen, something unbearable behind them. He moves the hand holding the collar of my nightgown to my cheek. I lean into the contact like a fool as his eyes flutter shut. “Say it again.”

I don’t hesitate, “Aleksander.” I lift my hand, fingers hesitant to find their place on his cheek. “Aleksander.”

He sighs into both the contact and the name. “You’re the first thing I’ve allowed myself to want,” his eyes open, but I cannot bring myself to meet his gaze, “I should make you feel like it.”

Something about the way he says that is sad. “I think that if it’s fair to say you were a little distant, it’s just as fair to say that I was a little jealous.”

Aleksander smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m tired,” he admits, “I’ll enjoy my victory in the morning.”

I roll my eyes, but scoot over to give him a place by my side regardless. “I’m not sure you won, I think it was more of a draw.”

He takes the space I offer quickly, never letting the contact between us disappear as he settles himself against my pillow. I let him pull me towards him. “This feels like a victory.”

I try to ignore the warmth in my chest. “You’re lucky I’m tired enough to find that endearing.”

I relax as his fingers trace shapes I’ll never know about onto my back. “I agree.”

#shadow and bone #grisha #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #sab imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #general kirigan imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morovoza #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morovoza x reader #the darkling #the darkling imagine #the darkling x reader #the darkling x you

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twistedsickopath · 6 years

Text

tonight has been a disaster in SO many ways lol (big tw in tags)

#kath #i got drunk i binged until i felt like i was gonna die i tried to throw it up in the shower but we all know how much i suck at that #(seriously whats the deal i cannot purge its so hard for me how the fuck do you even)#(you know what nevermind)#so then i was upset so i turned my shower to boiling water and i self harmed?? i hadnt in years but like the past week has been so hard #the other night i caved in bc the voices were loud but i only did a few scratches w scissors tonight i didnt give a fuck and i used a razor #so hennyway after that fiasco i was feeling really dizzy and nauseous while i was trying to dress the cuts so i went to bed & took a nap #and now im awake ive sobered up my stomach is still uncomfortably full but at least it doesnt hurt anymore and i only lowkey want to die #in conclusion shrug emoji #self harm tw #ed tw

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inaflashimagine · 3 years

Text

Mission Impossible (II)

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x F!Reader

Warning: suggestive themes, cursing, mentions and use of alcohol, mentions of sex, talk about arranged marriages, some manipulation, and this gets angsty toward the end oop.

WC: 3.5k

A/N: Happy jjk Friday! So I wasn’t expecting part 2 to end in angst? I assure you this series will not end that way but I guess I wanted to stir the pot a lil bit. I’ll explain this a lot more in the end. Part 3 will (hopefully) be posted shortly, though! Hope you enjoy! [DM, comment, or send an ask if you want to be added to tag list at end of fic]

Prequel - Part I - Part III - Part IV

–

You’re not surprised that he’s fifteen minutes late. If anything, it would shock you if Gojo Satoru actually picked you up on time, since that would be an uncharacteristic action coming from your...erm, boyfriend.

Boyfriend. You test the word again by slowly whispering each syllable into the chilly night, the sound still foreign to your ears. Perhaps if he gave you more time to prepare you wouldn’t be as nervous as you are now.

When Gojo told you about the dinner, you assumed it would happen in a week or so. That would be ample time to send him a survey or a cheat sheet of things to know so that when the event did come your relationship wouldn’t seem like the fraud it is.

“A questionnaire?” he guffawed when he heard your proposal over the phone. “Last time I checked, cupcake, we graduated high school years ago.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, irritated that ever since you agreed to this strange deal Gojo began experimenting with various pet names for you. And it’s only been a day. “When is this dinner anyway, sweetie?”

“In five hours!”

“What?!”

Five hours and sixteen minutes later that same worry continues to swirl in your stomach as a familiar car pulls up, the rear side window going down to reveal an excited face.

“Get in, loser, we’re going to dinner!”

You climb in when he opens the door, rolling your eyes and ignoring your irregular heartbeats as Gojo whistles and admires your appearance.

“Good thing Ijichi is driving or I’d crash into a tree. Conservative look but still pretty hot. Consider me impressed!”

“Well, I’m not.” You let out one of the many deep sighs for tonight as you shake your head in half amusement, half dread upon eyeing the shaman. “Please don’t tell me you’re still going to be in your uniform and that dumb blindfold.”

Gojo feigns hurt as he clutches his chest, although he takes off the blindfold to replace it with his trademark sunglasses. “You make fun of the bandages so I change to the blindfold. And you still hate it? You wound me.”

“Be lucky I don’t mock you for using your technique to style your hair.” Upon this statement you catch Ijichi’s eyes through the rearview mirror, sharing light laughter with him as Satoru pouts.

“But you just did! And that was supposed to be a secret, honey.”

In response you ruffle his now-flattened hair, ignoring your mind’s screams of how soft it is and dismissing the observation that he leans into the touch. “Aw, did I make the wittle baby upset?”

Gojo flashes a bright smile as he unzips his jacket and swaps it for a white dress shirt–which is completely wrinkled, because why would he own an iron?–as you find your gaze lingering on those muscular arms and his slender fingers buttoning the top. “I guess now you’re impressed with my clothing, huh? And to answer your question, not at all. Though I know you’re concerned with making the ol’ Gojos upset.”

It’s futile to control the groan that escapes your lips, still slightly annoyed that he hasn’t told you anything about them. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m so nervous.”

“I can tell!” he unnecessarily supplies, although you note how his voice adopts a softer tone. He gently grabs the box you’re holding in one hand and places it on his lap. “I see you got them a gift, too.”

“I figured they like chocolates as much as you do so I hope”–you gasp at the astonishing sight before you–“Gojo Satoru, what are you doing?”

The culprit snickers as he pops a second chocolate into his mouth. “Chill, you’re supposed to be my girlfriend, not my mom. And these are tasty but the ‘rents hate candy. Good thing I got them a few souvenirs and fancy wine.” Another chocolate loses its life to Gojo’s sweet tooth. “Where’d you get these?”

Before you could form a response in your head let alone answer, Gojo begins to “ooh!” like a child with exciting news to share. “I almost forgot!”

Suddenly, he thrusts a shot glass filled with clear liquid into your hand, matching his own. (You don’t even want to know where he got these as you stare at the Digimon engraved into the glass.) Perplexed, you sniff the substance only to fail in detecting a scent.

“Is this alcohol?”

“Of course not, silly, or else I would’ve invited Shoko to this dinner!”

You blink, puzzlement increasing by the second. “But didn’t you invite her? And she rejected–”

“Anyway,” he quickly interrupts after forcing out a peculiar chuckle, “it’s just water, but I feel like the act of taking a shot will boost your confidence. Reverse psychology!”

You laugh, because of course this man-that-is-secretly-a-twelve-year-old-boy would propose such a preposterous idea. But as you realize that this will probably be the least weird thing that’ll happen tonight, you shrug, already feeling some tension leave your shoulders. “I’ll drink to that.”

“That’s the spirit! To lying to the elders!” he cheers as the clink of glasses echoes throughout the car.

Downing the drink, not even realizing how parched you were, Gojo nudges your shoulder before winking at you.

“Don’t stress, it’ll be fine. They can be a pain but I got your back. So will my grandma.”

Your interest is piqued at that. “Really? But isn’t she the one begging you to get married?”

He hums. “You’re right but she’s always supported my decisions, even when everyone else disagrees with them. I don’t think she really cares who I marry, it’s more like when . The other elders are the ones who are more concerned with the type of chick.”

“Oh,” you can only say, because your mind is still trying to process the fact that he is continuing to praise his grandmother and her strength. You didn’t even think it was possible for him to revere anyone other than himself.

Gojo disrupts your train of thought as he waves the box of candies in front of you. “Anyway, want chocolate?”

Despite nodding along, you can’t control the anxiety that starts to creep up again as you arrive closer to the estate. Not to mention you two are extremely late...

But while you share sweets with the man who placed you in this predicament–watching him tease Ijichi without a care in the world or for this damn dinner–a tiny part of you believes in him, clinging to the hope that this won’t be as disastrous as you think.

–

It’s a disaster.

The madness starts as soon as their servants (because of course, they have servants) guide you through the massive maze Satoru calls home, multiple pairs of annoyed eyes judging the two of you when you arrive at the desired location. The intense pressure causes you to inch closer to a smiling, unbothered Gojo, calming yourself with the familiar scent of bergamot while he squeezes your hand.

“You’re tardy, as usual,” chastises a middle-aged dark-haired woman, her foot tapping restlessly. Her narrowed, fierce blue orbs–although duller than Satoru’s bright ones–scrutinize the distance, or lack thereof, between you and her son.

“Fashionably late, at least!” The way Gojo can remain so nonchalant in this stuffy environment baffles you. He even dares to throw up a peace sign at his elders. “And you won’t believe how much traffic there was–”

“Satoru, do you actually use the watch we gave you?” interjects what you assume to be his father, based on the fact that he looks like an older, grumpier version of the man beside you.

“All of you, stop, I’m famished! And boy, you haven’t properly introduced the guest,” booms an elderly woman, a resounding voice coming from such a tiny body startling you and everyone else.

Satoru whines, “Grandma!” as the older woman fixates on you, boring into your soul. And when she inspects you from tip to toe, you internally scream at how unimpressed she looks.

“You’re the one who holds my grandson’s heart?”

You hope no one can hear your hammering heart as you gulp and meekly nod while Gojo stifles a laugh. She knows, she totally knows. She sees right through us.

If only that shot glass of water was filled with the strongest alcohol on earth.

–

I could be at a bar with Shoko or baking bread with Nanami right now, why am I here? you miserably mope as you slowly take another bite of the food, terrified that one loud chewing sound will worsen the tension that can be cut with a knife. It’s probably one of the fanciest meals you’ve had in your life but your dry mouth is unable to register a taste, overwhelmed by the barrage of questions that have been hurled at you in the first ten minutes.

“This isn’t some inquisition!” Satoru jests after an elder asks another question about your cursed technique, yet the frown tugging at his lips shows this is far from a laughing matter. “At least let us eat before you start this stupid interrogation.”

“We’re not interrogating you,” sighs Satoru’s mother, a weary expression evident on her face. She takes a liberal sip of her wine before exhaling. “This is the first girl you’ve brought home and we know nothing about her.”

You nearly choke but successfully maintain your composure. The first? Despite your competitive nature (you proudly hold the title of reigning Jujutsu Tech Mario Kart champion, much to Satoru’s dismay), this is the one case in which you don’t want to be the first. Couples usually don’t meet the parents unless it’s fairly serious, and after a decade of being friends with the eclectic Gojo, you know he’s not the type to settle down. But he does have the knack for wooing any person he meets, making their knees weak and bending their wills to satisfy his desires. So why is the first girlfriend he’s introducing to the family a fake one?

“Because I knew this is how you’d treat any person I bring home. Gramps almost croaked when he first saw Megumi-kun in the estate.”

“You know how we feel about the Zen’in!” roars the accused man, slamming his trembling fists on the table.

“Old man, he’s a kid. Besides, she’s not a Zen’in!” As an excited Satoru ruffles your once carefully-styled hair and kisses your cheek, you try to ignore your electrified body and offer a small grin to the less-than-amused elders, relieved to be the daughter of clueless farmers rather than some pretentious clan members. Relieved to be a nobody.

Although at this very moment you realize that you’re anything but a nobody.

“So you two met during high school?” inquires Satoru’s father, his monotone voice making it sound like a statement as he abruptly changes the subject.

“I beat her every year at the Exchange!”

“Not every year,” you mutter, lightly poking his side under the table.

“Oh, that’s right, honey! Suguru kicked your ass the first year so I didn’t have to do it.” Gosh, is he begging you to kick his ass right now? It would certainly be more entertaining than having to sit through this horrid meal.

“Satoru, that’s not how you should treat your future wife,” admonishes the elderly woman you’ve come to fear. Both you and Gojo pale at the last word, and he looks gobsmacked, gaping like a fish out of water.

But only for a second.

“Sheesh grandma, don’t bring up the ‘w’ word!” The cheeky smile and the way he wraps his arm around your shoulder suggests that he might even be enjoying some of this chaos.

“I have to,” she teases as she sends him a wink, “or else I’ll be ashes by the time you decide to make a move. I’m not getting any younger!”

“You're not holding back!” chuckles Satoru as you note where he gets his humor from. “Don’t joke like that, you’ll get the elders and our esteemed guest pressed.”

“And we’ve only recently started dating,” you manage to say, trying to control the pounding in your ears as you break away from his grasp, the touch scorching your skin.

“Oh? How recent?” prompts an elder with incredibly bushy eyebrows, strangely reminding you of Gakuganji.

“Six months,” you answer confidently as Satoru proudly shouts out, “Three months!”

Both of you whip your heads toward one another as you nervously laugh, feeling lasers being shot your way. We’re such idiots, we forgot to agree on this! And it’s the first rule in any rom-com!

For a split second, Satoru lowers his sunglasses as you two struggle to communicate what’s the right answer. You briefly close your eyes and clear your throat, attempting to focus on the matter at hand instead of being distracted by those brilliant pools of azure.

“Well?” prods Mother Gojo, the impatience straining her voice. “How long?”

“Three months,” you unwaveringly respond as Satoru loudly proclaims, “Six months!”

The only sound that can be heard the minute after is the muffled chortling of Satoru’s father piercing the suffocating atmosphere, who covers his amused smile with a napkin. Oh, now he has a sense of humor.

“Time is a social construct, anyway~!” Satoru pipes up, hoping to diffuse the tension. When the opposite occurs, he shocks you into whiplash by suddenly adopting a more serious attitude while grabbing onto your hand. “And why does it matter how long we’ve been together? She’s my friend first and she’s always made me happy.”

You blink owlishly, stunned at the genuine tone lacing that statement. From your view, you can catch a glimpse of his earnest eyes behind those obnoxious sunglasses, but he refuses to match your stare as he intently focuses on the elder Gojo members before him. Did he really mean that?

“Is that so?” drawls Grandpa Gojo, the skepticism awfully obvious.

“Yes! But I know none of you care about that. So then I’ll say what you want to hear.” He takes off his sunglasses so his relatives can fully see the lethal glare he’s sending them.

“You only care about my powers and whether my child, if I even have one, will inherit them or perhaps surpass my strength.” He turns toward you, his cryptic smile making you wonder what he’s thinking in that inflated head of his. “So let’s just get you pregnant.”

Painful gasps echo throughout the room. His mother downs the rest of her wine. You’re glad that you’re in a public setting or else you’d slap your fake boyfriend–you have to reassure yourself it’s all fake–right then and there.

“Gojo Satoru,” you warn under your breath, increasing your vice grip on his hand only to receive a wink in return, as if assuring you that he’s got this. But you still feel uneasy, not liking this strange turn.

“This isn't an appropriate dinner conversation,” murmurs his flustered mother, making her son erupt into boisterous laughter.

“Right, it’s only convenient when you talk about it behind my back and force me to marry someone I don’t love.”

“But do you even love her?” she spits out, sending you a look that makes you wish you could simply disappear in quicksand.

“That’s none of your business,” Satoru responds hotly, his knuckles paper-white as he releases the grasp on your hand and takes a keen interest in his plate.

“Will you ever grow up, boy?” scolds yet another elder. (Why are there so many of them?)

Before he can counter back, he slightly flinches–it’s subtle but you still notice it–as more elders decide to chime in.

“We supported your crazy idea of being an instructor to weak, simple-minded shamans, but this? This is absurd.”

You’re about to rush to his defense but each insult comes faster than a speeding bullet, their venomous words the only type of weapon that can penetrate Satoru’s infinity barrier.

“This is why the Zen’in don’t take us seriously, because of your immaturity.”

“You may be gifted but you will be the downfall of this family.”

“We tell him again and again, but this idiot will never learn.”

“Your actions reflect poorly on the Gojo clan. And you expect us to idly stand by as you drive us to ruin?”

“Silence!” commands Satoru’s grandmother as she holds a firm hand up, the authoritative tone quieting the vicious statements directed at the young man who tries to seem unperturbed by them. But his bowed head and hunched shoulders give away what he’s really thinking, and at that moment you’ve never seen Satoru look so insecure or...fragile.

“My sweet grandson, please look at me.” Her soft timbre is a sharp contrast from the last few minutes, the words offering a promise that she’d protect him from the monsters. He instantly acts like an obedient student in front of their favorite teacher, paying undivided attention to her as he seems a bit relieved that the family member he trusts the most is on his side.

“We only want what’s best for you, and you know that I will always respect your choices” coos his grandmother, a bit too sugary for your liking, “but a country bumpkin like her can’t fulfill your needs.”

You fail to curb your anger, the raw emotion overflowing the pot that's been boiling since the start of this wretched event. And your eyes narrow even further when your supposed significant other is stupefied with silence instead of rushing to your defense. “Excuse me?”

“Come on, sweetie,” his grandma explains coolly, her eyes calculating, “you might be a toy ‘Toru plays with for a few months but in the end, he needs someone who will keep him grounded and help him lead the clan.”

Your chest constricts as you remind yourself that this is all fake, despite the fact that perhaps this old woman that supposedly knows Satoru best has a point. Perhaps you’re a toy he would tire of after a few nights under the sheets. A puppet he’d no longer want to control after you complete this dinner arrangement for him.

And you hate how quiet he is right now, still unable to meet your eyes that desperately plead for the help he guaranteed he’d give.

His grandma finishes a bite of her food as she observes her prey, the cogs overworking in your brain and your conviction crumbling. “Satoru knows that you cannot provide for him, so surely you must know that, too.”

“But why?” you seethe, your breaths becoming shakier, unable to keep up with this rollercoaster containing the most extreme and sudden turns. “Because I’m not from a clan of your choosing? Because I’m too ‘weak’ for the Gojo family?”

“Precisely,” an elder replies curtly before motioning for a servant. “Which is why I’m glad we invited that lovely girl from the Nara clan. Please bring her in.”

You and a shocked Satoru can only watch in confusion as someone your age, possibly a bit younger, enters the dining room and properly introduces herself as the Nara girl the Gojo elders seem to approve of. And of course, she looks like a model.

“Fuck this,” you whisper loud enough for all to hear because fuck the formalities. Fuck all of this. You should’ve trusted your gut, you should’ve run away at the first opportunity. With a deep breath, you stand up and shake your head frustratedly at Satoru. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Those dumb, beautiful eyes widen. “W-what–”

“I’m not dating your obnoxious grandson and never will!” you exclaim, relishing in the sight of everyone’s slacked jaws (particularly Satoru’s). “Although, yes, we have banged and yes, the sex was probably some of the best I’ve ever had.”

It’s an absolute joy to see Granny gasp while her daughter-in-law buries her head into her hands. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I upset Granny and Mama Gojo? Or do I need to tell you how the babies that you want so bad are made?”

You then look at Satoru, whose expression is unreadable even with his blindfold off. You want to say–no scream–so many things at him, to shake his shoulders violently while he experiences your wrath. But the lump in your throat blocks them all. Well, all but one. Taking his sunglasses, you put them on as you shoot him the middle finger and tell him, “To grow a pair of balls if you ever want an actual girlfriend.”

As you leave the room, you take a generous swig from a wine bottle a servant is holding, and fuck it, you take the whole bottle because it tastes damn good and you know Shoko would love some of it. Before disappearing from the Gojos’ view, you point at the frightened Nara girl. “If you’re stuck with this family from hell then I’m praying for you!”

And even though it stings and tears blur your vision, you ignore a certain person calling for you. Because you’re tired of him ruthlessly tugging your heartstrings.

You’re done being his puppet.

–

Tag list: @dumbwaystolive @kat-su-ki @crapimahuman @1sillylittlething @bxstboy-tetsu @kuxredere @joy-laufeyson

–

LONG A/N (sorrryyy): I've honestly been going back and forth on whether I wanted to post this, but I realized that as much as I love happy-go-lucky Gojo, I also wanted to explore a side of him that he doesn't really like to showcase.

(manga spoilers ahead, read at your own caution): we don't know much about the Gojo clan but I can't imagine the immense pressure he must feel being the strongest and the latest family member to have both the Six Eyes and Limitless Cursed Technique.

I wanted him to have an attached relationship with at least one family member because I can definitely see him looking up to them and appreciating their support whenever the elders rebuke him for being immature or not taking things seriously. I feel like he didn't have much of a happy childhood because of all of these expectations riding on him, and after seeing the way Riko is treated when he's a teen, he becomes hellbent on making sure that his students experience the youth that he, Geto, and Riko missed.

Also, he knows he's strong but I feel like deep down he's just slightly terrified that he's not as strong as others expect him to be/that he'll fail himself and others. He's even admitted that he knows some of his students will surpass him. He disguises this insecurity with this "go with the flow,” cocky and cheery persona, but being THE strongest (which is a solitary position and I can't imagine how lonely that must be) must definitely have a toll on him. Okay end rant hopefully that explains my decisions behind the angst jkldsajfl. Have a great weekend and happy jjk friday!

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru

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tomboyneedshercoffee · 4 years

Text

Lovedust Pt.5 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N invites Josh over to work on a project while Peter goes back to his Spiderman duties which sends Y/N into a spiral.

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: WOWIE I really stayed up all night to finish this ha. Anyway! This gives more backstory about Y/N and what happened with her biological parents and ughhhh things are moving yall! Also leave comments if it’s good and if it’s bad also leave comments 🥰

Warnings: Mention of blood, death, panic attack, ANGST

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six ||

part seven || part eight || epilogue

Even though the Avengers Complex was your home, it was much more than a place where you crashed after school. You had to keep in mind that to any normal person, the idea of seeing alien technology in use or friends from galaxies away wasn’t an average Thursday.

You never thought any of this was particularly strange until now as you got the text from Josh that he was parked in the back lot of the building like you had told him to.

Since you and Josh were partners for anatomy, you thought it would be obvious that you would be staying at his house to work on your project but your dad had other ideas.

The sheer thought of you going to a boy’s house to “study” was absurd, especially since Josh’s parents were always out of town for business. You never thought your dad would ever let any of your friends into the complex, especially a boy but in the name of science, it wasn’t too hard to convince him.

You quietly opened the side door as Josh slid in behind you and let out a low whistle.

“ Not too shabby Stark, although I gotta say, the lawn is looking a bit wild,” Josh smiled as he readjusted his backpack straps,” if you need me to come over to cut it, I charge $9.00 an hour.”

“ In that case, your first shift starts next week,” You teased as you led him to the main set of elevators in the building.

You couldn’t help but feel on edge as Josh followed close behind you. You had never brought anyone over and you were scared that bringing Josh would make things turn into a big deal. You knew how protective some of the other Avengers were of you and you just prayed silently that you wouldn’t run into any of them, especially Peter.

You weren’t sure how Peter would take it if he found out you and Josh were getting closer.

Peter was in a fragile state and who knew what little thing could set him off. You were even more worried that Peter would find out about the party tomorrow night because it wasn’t like you could invite him along.

The idea of mixing hormonal teenagers and alcohol was a recipe for disaster but the damage that could be made from Peter’s self-destructive state could be even bigger.

As much as you knew how badly things could turn out with Josh in the complex, you knew you couldn’t let Peter’s actions affect what went on in your academic life and at the end of the day, Josh was just a classmate.

Josh looked all around him, taking in everything from the colorful array of gadgets neatly built into the walls to the natural light coming from the sleek windows.

“ I feel so out of place- am I underdressed?” Josh asked as a few lab technicians walked past giving you and Josh an odd glance,” and how do you not get lost in a place this big.”

You pressed the elevator button and gave Josh a reassuring smile,” Trust me, they’ve seen weirder things around here. Like, way weirder things.”

When the elevator doors opened, the two of you walked in and you started pointing to the elevator buttons,” So a quick tour! We’re on the main floor which basically is used for important meetings and conferences, the second floor is for the gym and pool, the third is where some of the bedrooms are, fourth is strictly for the scientists, the fifth is the labs, and the other floors are for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Also, the basement has all the cool gadgets I’m not allowed to play with but I’m convinced it’s just where the guys all hang out and drink.”

“ You have an indoor pool?”

“ That’s what caught your attention?” You laughed as Josh nodded enthusiastically.

“ Well yeah! Do you even use it? I vaguely remember that when you were twelve, you almost drowned in 4ft water at someone’s pool party,” Josh said as you pressed the third button.

“ It was 5ft but yes I know how to swim...my dad made me take lessons after that,” You mumbled as you remembered that experience vividly,” I tried lifeguarding last summer at that super fancy hotel near Greenwich but the training was too expensive so I just took a CPR course at the YMCA and lifeguarded there.”

“ Did you ever have to save anyone?” Josh asked curiously as the glass elevators moved up towards your floor.

You nodded as Josh’s mouth dropped,” Yup, I had to give CPR and everything. Lucky for them, saving lives runs in my family.”

As the elevator doors opened up to your floor, you made sure to carefully scan the hallway before stepping out. Peter was supposed to be up in the labs all-day so that gave you enough time to work on the project with Josh while keeping Peter at a safe distance.

As you were approaching the door to your room, the fridge door in the kitchen closed and revealed Peter with an IV pole on his left side and an apple in the other hand.

“ Peter!” You said nervously as you took a small step in front of Josh, almost as if you were covering him up from Peter’s line of vision,” What are you doing here? I thought you were up in the labs?”

Peter looked past you and eyed Josh up and down before holding up the fruit, walking towards the two of you,” Um, I needed something to eat- Who is he?”

Peter was constantly feeling some type of distress whether it was chest pains or headaches but now that he clearly caught you hiding a boy from him, the pain felt off.

You had never brought over any of your friends to the headquarters before so to Peter, this was already a red flag. Peter felt like his body was on high alert as thousands of scenarios were going through his head.

Josh stepped forward and held his hand out for Peter to shake,” Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Josh. Y/N and I go to Manhattan Prep together.”

Peter looked down at Josh’s hand for a moment before shaking it hard. Josh winced but played off his pain as he pulled his hand away and stuffed it back into his pockets. You could feel the one-sided tension between the two as you looked over to Peter to try to ease him but his eyes were glued to Josh.

You cleared your throat as you turned to face Josh,“ Peter is a part of my dad’s internship program so he spends most of his time here at the complex. He’s pretty much a part of the family and he’s a really good friend, right Peter? ”

Peter nodded as he tried to calm his nerves down, his quick glance to Josh was almost as if he was begging his body to put his guard down. He couldn’t control his body and this was the first time the lovedust had forced him into a territorial state.

“ No kidding, that’s awesome man. My buddy from Midtown was telling me that he knew a guy who was accepted into the Stark Internship,” Josh said as Peter stood up a little straighter.

“ Oh really? Who?”

“ Flash Thompson, do you know him?” Josh asked as Peter looked over at you, almost as a warning.

While Josh was trying to be civil towards Peter, Peter couldn’t help but feel the pit in his stomach sink lower and lower with the thought of Josh even associating with someone like Flash.

“ As a matter of fact, I do know Flash,” Peter said smoothly, his speech hardly hesitating,” you sure know how to pick friends.”

You and Josh could tell that Peter was giving a dig towards him but Josh quickly let it go as he tried to ease the situation.

“ Well... it was nice to meet you Peter, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine,” Josh said as he gave a genuine smile,” I’m sure Y/N already mentioned this to you but if you’re not busy or anything, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow and you should come out.”

Fuck.

Peter looked at you for a moment before returning a small smile to Josh,” Thanks, I’ll think about it.”

“ Um Josh, can you just wait in my room for a second?” You asked as Josh looked between the two of you and nodded.

You didn’t want to be upset at Peter for feeling hostile towards Josh because you knew he really couldn’t help himself. It was eating away at you that you were the reason Peter was acting so jealous but come on, did he really have a reason to?

Once Josh closed the door behind him, you turned back to Peter and looked down at the IV that was in his arm.

“ Is everything okay?” You asked as Peter looked down at his arm,” that looks pretty serious.”

“ Yeah… I’ve been having some problems but nothing your dad can’t fix” Peter deflected softly before looking over to your bedroom door,” so Josh...is he a friend?”

Peter knew he was walking on thin ice asking about Josh but he couldn’t bring himself to just go back in the labs and worry about the two of you all day.

“ He’s just a friend Peter, we have a school project and we’re partners,” You reassured him as Peter felt almost relieved,” and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the party, I didn’t think you would want to go but I should’ve asked.”

Peter studied your expression for a moment before looking down at his feet. It was hard to tell if you were telling the truth, maybe you didn’t want him to come. School project or not, Peter felt threatened by Josh, even if Josh was trying his best to be as nice as possible.

“ It’s okay, you’re right. Parties aren’t my thing anyway,” Peter shrugged as you bit the inside of your cheek.

You weren’t sure why you felt so guilty but whatever you were feeling, you hated how much it was stirring inside of you. You never wanted Peter to feel left out and you could easily tell that it was bothering him as much as it was bothering you.

“ Maybe if you’re not busy tonight, we can watch a movie together. I checked the kitchen this morning and there’s a ton of frozen pizzas if you’re up for it?” You suggested as Peter tapped his fingers against the side of his leg.

Peter wanted to jump at the offer, any excuse to hang out with you alone literally set Peter so close to having a cardiac arrest in the best way possible. While he was getting the hang of controlling his words around you, it felt like the more time you spent with him, the more he felt himself fall for you.

“ I’m actually going to patrol tonight,” Peter said in a low whisper as he looked back at your bedroom door,” I haven’t been on the streets in a long time and I think I feel well enough to go.”

“ Are you sure you’re ready? You’re literally hooked up to an IV bag Peter,” You said as Peter subtly pushed the IV pole behind him as if he could hide it.

“ I won’t do anything crazy, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be out for a couple of hours and we can hang out when I get back,” Peter said as you hesitantly nodded.

You understood that being a superhero meant that you couldn’t take sick days but this was an extreme circumstance. To you, Spiderman could wait but for Peter, that was a large part of his livelihood that he had put aside for too long.

You wanted to tell him not to go, better yet, if you could hide every single one of his Spiderman suits you would. It didn’t sit right with you that with everything going on with his health that he would jeopardize it but you knew it wasn’t your call.

“ Okay, but please text me updates so I know you’re safe. Things have been so crazy lately and I-”

“ Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be okay,” Peter interrupted as he felt his heart grow heavy,” I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

You didn’t know why the thought of Peter going out was so scary but before you could think things over in your head, your feet stepped forward and you pulled Peter into a tight hug. You rested your chin against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply as if hugging Peter would calm down your nerves for the rest of your life.

Without a second thought, Peter drew his arms over your body and held you close to his chest. His heart beat even faster than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you even tighter than before.

----------

You checked your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour as you grew more and more anxious.

Peter had been gone for hours to go patrol while you and Josh were still working on the project. It was eating away at you that Peter wasn’t back yet and every time another minute passed without an update, you felt like you were closer to losing your mind.

Even before Peter made contact with the lovedust, you would still secretly pray that he got home in one piece. When everyone you knew and loved had a career that put themselves in the line of danger, thoughts of not having them around anymore plagued you whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself.

You had lost people before to freak accidents like your biological parents who had passed away when you were old enough to know how death worked. You couldn’t imagine not having Tony as your dad but some nights whenever you were filled to the brim with anxiety, you wondered what your life would’ve been like if your parents weren’t killed during that home invasion.

When you’ve lost people, it never gets easier, terror plagues you. The fear of someone you know getting hurt was by far scarier than anything Hollywood could recreate with CGI and yet, it was slowly looming over you.

Superheros were literally your life and you weren’t mentally prepared that one day, something bad could happen and you could lose them forever. With Peter, you weren’t sure if it was because of how close the two of you were now but the fear of losing him was bigger than any other scenario you had crafted in your head.

“ Is everything okay? You seem a little out of it,” Josh said as you looked away from your phone and back towards your laptop.

“ Yeah, I’m good, my body just feels so tired. I’ve read so much medical terminology within the past couple of hours and now everything is jumbling together,” You sighed as you looked down at Josh who was sprawled out onto your bedroom floor with a textbook resting against his stomach.

You never realized how comfortable your floor was but seeing Josh on your floor looking as effortless as ever was a shock to your system. When Josh caught your gaze, you turned back to your laptop and rested your cheek against your palm to try to cover the blush that was creeping onto your cheeks.

As you rested your cheek against your propped up hand, you could feel your eyelids get heavier with each passing second. Josh noticed from his spot on the ground and sat upon his hands, watching you ever so intently.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed once you closed your eyes but once you felt a blanket drape across your shoulders, you stirred quietly.

You held your breath as you waited for anything else but all you could hear was paper shuffling around. You peeked your eye out and saw Josh crouched down on your floor, carefully putting his textbooks and notes into his backpack, being careful not to wake you.

Instead of waking up to say goodbye, you pretend to be asleep as if you were too nervous to even confront Josh this late. The papers stopped shuffling and as you tried to keep your breathing patterns even, you felt Josh’s hand rub your shoulder softly before walking out of the room.

Once your bedroom door had closed, you hesitantly opened your eyes and gave a quick peek to make sure Josh was really gone.

You exhaled loudly, not even aware that you were holding it in all this time. You let the blanket fall onto the chair before walking over to your large window that pointed towards where Josh had parked.

You knew you should’ve walked him down after everything he had done for your project but the least you could do now was to make sure he left the complex in one piece. After a few minutes of patiently looking out the window, you saw Josh’s car pull out of the long driveway and headed down towards the front gate.

Your mind instantly traveled back to Peter as you checked your phone again but this time you went back to your messages and looked at all of the unread messages you had left for him.

5:12pm || Y/N: update me when you get to your post!

5:29pm || Y/N: oh don’t swing and text loser!!!!

6:01pm || Y/N: you there yet?

6:36pm || Y/N: don’t make me spam text u nerd

6:57pm || Y/N: im gonna just pretend you’re too busy to txt me back-be safe!

7:40pm || Y/N: helloooo?!?! Is everything okay

8:00pm || Y/N: i will leak your identity fool txt me back

8:40pm || Y/N: whatever idc anymore

8:44pm || Y/N: still haven’t heard back from you, you dead?

9:06pm || Y/N: ur freaking me out dude, any updates?

9:33pm || Y/N: there was a fire near the museum are you okay?!?! The news said you were there

9:35pm || Y/N: peter????

9:50pm || Y/N: call me im worried

10:02pm || Y/N: ur scaring me pls respond

You cursed under your breath as you pressed the call button and placed it to your ear. After a few rings, Peter’s voicemail came on and you didn’t even bother to listen to it all the way. You had already left so many voicemails and at this point, there was nothing you could do but wait for him.

You were filled with dread as you scooted back into your bed and refreshed the news pages on your phone.

Spiderman Stops an Armed Gunman Outside Plaza

You knew that it wasn’t healthy for you to keep scrolling online but you needed to know if Peter was safe. You hated the feeling of not being kept into the loop and Peter wasn’t the type to completely ignore text messages unless that meant he was in real trouble, what could you do to help him, you don’t have any powers you’re just a teenager-

You took a deep breath in as you shut your phone off and stared up at the ceiling to clear your head.

Peter is smart. He’s fast. He will be fine. You kept repeating it over and over again like a lullaby and with some luck, you could feel your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second with Peter being the last thing you thought before falling into a deep sleep.

You held your hand over your mouth to try and stop the sobs that rocked your body from underneath the bed. You could hear your dad begging, pleading to spare his wife before the sound of a gunshot went off.

It was louder than you remembered almost as if the sky let out a roaring thunder that shook the whole house. You could hear your dad struggling with the gunman before another shot rang out, this time even louder.

The glowing stars that were stuck to your ceiling shook off once your bedroom door had slammed opened and you prayed silently, wanting the nightmare to end.

You did your best to be quiet as you watched his feet walk slowly to the bed, almost at a teasing pace like he knew you were underneath there. Everytime the nightmare played in your head, the attacker took on a different appearance. Sometimes it was someone you knew, other times it was just a passing face on the street.

But everytime you had this nightmare, one thing never changed. The shoes, black sneakers with white laces and depending on how terrible the nightmare decided to be, you could spot the splatter of blood against the heels.

You watched as the man walked behind your bed and you let out a scream as you felt his hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you roughly against the carpet. As you scratched at the attackers face, your sob got caught in the middle of your throat.

The attacker always took a different appearance and this time, it was Peter.

You kicked and screamed as hard as you could as he tried to pin you down, his weapon pressed into the side of your rib as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew it was a dream and you were so used to letting it ride out or until you fell out of bed but with Peter staring at you as he dangled your life between his fingers, all you wanted to do was wake up.

All you could do was continue to fight back through your tears as he kept saying your name, taunting you.

“ Let go of me!”

“ Y/N! I got you!”

“ It’s me Peter!”

“Y/N!”

You shot up from out of your bed, almost knocking heads with another figure as you let out a choked sob. You didn’t realize your fists were still swinging until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your body, cradling you.

The memory of the attacker was still so vivid in your head and all you wanted to do was get away,“ Let me go!” You screamed as you struggled against their grip as they held you even tighter,” get off of me!”

“ Y/N! Y/N! It’s me! It’s me! You’re okay!” Peter shouted as he let his grip go before cupping his hands on either side of your face,” open your eyes! Hey! It’s me, you’re okay!”

You squirmed from his lap as you opened your eyes to see Peter in front of you, the actual Peter. As relieved as you were, you felt your chest tighten as you continued to cry and without a second thought, you leaned into Peter’s chest and buried your wet face into his t-shirt.

Peter held you tighter as he rested one hand against the back of your head and the other was snaked around your waist. He smoothed down your hair as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm you down,” It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here, I got you.”

You hadn’t felt so relieved to see anyone until now and as you tried to control your cries, you felt yourself slowly transitioning back into reality. You inhaled his scent as you dug your face into his neck and you never thought a smell could bring you so much peace.

Relief wasn’t even what you were feeling, it was more than that. You couldn’t put it into words and it was heavier than the idea of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Release. To sob into someone’s embrace where you knew you would be safe no matter what felt heavenly and with every sob you let out, you felt yourself separate from the nightmare altogether.

Peter had to hold back his own tears as he held you and slowly rocked your body back and forth like a baby. He wasn’t sure if it was comforting you but it definitely put Peter at ease.

Just minutes ago, he had just checked on you to see if you were still awake and once he saw that you were sleeping, he went back to his room to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until he was putting on his pajamas when the hair on his arm stood up seconds before you actually let out a scream only he could sense.

Peter literally scrambled to your room and had his web-shooters ready because from what he could hear, he thought someone was attacking you. It wasn’t until he saw that you were having a nightmare that he quickly threw his web-shooters to the side and tried to wake you up.

It was one thing to be in love with someone and to go through the motions as if it was a normal occasion but this was different. Seeing you so vulnerable and completely terrified utterly broke Peter in half and he knew for sure that it wasn’t all because of the lovedust.

“ You’re safe Y/N, you’re okay.”

“ Don’t worry I got you.”

“ Just breathe for me, okay?”

For what seemed like forever, Peter cradled you and whispered into your ear to let you know that you were okay and that he was there for you. He wanted you to tell him everything about the nightmare and what had triggered it but he knew that it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare with the occasional boogeyman.

You thought back to your nightmare one last time as you pictured a hazy Peter attacking you and it almost sent you into another panic attack. Peter could feel how tense you got and his grip loosened so he could look back at you.

Your eyes were puffy from crying so much and your cheeks were flushed red but Peter thought you were absolutely beautiful. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, there was so much to say yet so little at the same time.

“ Thank you,” You whispered ever so softly as you craned your neck up and pressed a soft kiss against Peter’s cheek.

You both knew that it wasn’t an ordinary thank you but for Peter, he didn’t need to analyze it any further. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Peter’s heartbeat that rang throughout his body.

From pure exhaustion of crying and anxiety, you felt even more tired than before and Peter could feel you slipping back to sleep. He didn’t want to let you go, if he could, he would hold you in his arms forever if it meant keeping you safe and sound.

Once Peter heard your soft snores, he held you for a second longer before carefully laying you back down into your bed. Like second nature, Peter pulled the covers back over your body and tucked a strand of hair that was danging in the middle of your face behind your ear.

Peter ignored the sore feeling that was lingering in his back and forearms from holding you up and lightly dragged his fingers across his own cheek. He was way into deep now.

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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years

Text

SMOKY | Purgatory Within

Blind! Prince! Mingi x [unstated skin deformity] fem! Reader

words: almost 2k

warnings: abuse trauma, smut, death

au: crown royal au | moodboard

series masterlist: SMOKY

you became more and more concerned for your husband’s behavior as time went on. the young man who had once been so careful and gentle, now stood with a silent rage behind his empty eyes.

however, after you confronted him about his possessive behavior, you watched him break down at your feet.

“p-please... please don’t leave me...” his large frame was once again curled in on himself, shoulders shaking as he kneeled on the floor, hands fisted in your robe. his head was hung low as he begged you at your feet.

“Mingi, what has been going on with you?” you insisted, refusing to touch the man as he tried to bury his face in your lap.

“I can't- I can't let the Duke take you! or your whore of a knight! Please my queen please, take me instead, take everything I have!” the man let out a broken sob as you sighed at his words.

“enough.” you growled, grabbing a hand full of his hair and lifting his head. he yelped in shock, neck exposed to you as his Adams apple bobbed in fear.

“you are to be a king Mingi. you are a grown man, and I am your wife. you are not a little boy to be crying at the feet of his mother.” you pushed the man off your lap and stood. “and you will be a fool of a king if you let such foolish insecurity cloud your judgment!”

Mingi hid his head low, covering his face with his arms.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry! p-please don't-” his normally deep voice cracked in terror. you stopped, anger at he man before you evaporated.

“Mingi...mingi I'm not going to hit you.” you spoke softly, gently falling to your knees on the floor. his body shook, arms still held to protect his face. “I hope you know, I would never do that.” your voice was sorrowful as you reached out a hand to his head.

he flinched when you touched his hair, but as you began to run your fingers through it, his muscles slowly relaxed. dropping his arms from his face you could finally see the puffiness around his eyes, the cloudiness of the dark pigment stared blankly back at you.

“...do you promise?” he hiccuped, turning his head to try and find the direction of your voice. you cupped the man’s cheeks, pulling his head to face yours. his eyes fluttered shut as he rested his head in your hands.

“oh my darling boy, who did this to you?”

Mingi found a small kitten in the garden. a runt, tiny thing. you had thought the bundle of orange fur was some nobles lost purse left out in the rain. he named her Daisy, saying her fur smelled of the flowers when she curled up in his big hands.

You rarely saw the man without her, the small kitten often purching on Mingi's large shoulders.

Your husband still held ribbons of his possessive behavior, however he began to distance himself from you. You rarely saw him now other then in passing on when the pair of you went to sleep at night. He also began neglecting pleasing you, but you assumed he was simply not interested as both of you often went to sleep without any contact.

Now you found yourself facing a different delema. You had always been a woman with a high sex drive, its one of the reasons you had chosen Seonghwa as a concort. However your poor knight had been frightened quite badly by yourself and your husband, and you knew he wouldnt return to you unless you seeked him out.

But you had also made Mingi a promis. One that was getting increasingly hard for you to keep.

"My lady, is everything alright? You seem lost in thought... If there is any responsibilities weighing heavy on you i am more then happy to help however i can!" the young Duke's voice was as sweet as ever.

You sighed, looking over to Yeosang, a man you had been trying not to look at for to long. His hair lay in soft curls around his face, lightened by the many years spent outside in the sunlight. Likewise his skin was warm in hue, tanner then the rest of your court.

You had heard some of the other ladies snickering about him. Yeosang surely didnt live up to some of the standards for desired beauty the royals had. A strange thought flashed in your mind. Is that why Mingi was chosen to be your husband over Yeosang? Mingi's frame was large, an incredibly masculine figure just looking at him, with dark hair and skin untouched by the sun.

Little Yeosang however, had small and dainty hands, with long thin fingers, his features were softer then Mingi's, even his skin looked soft to the touch. And the many years spent as a playmate for his sisters left him with an unthreatening demeanor.

Indeed it wasnt hard for you to imagine him, flowers in his hair, sat on a blanket in the valley, perhaps painting or writing for his own amusement. You shoved away such thoughts as you saw a line of concern crease in his brow.

"My lady..."

"I am sorry Yeosang. Truthfully ive been feeling a bit... Forgotten about in these last weeks. And its left me feeling distracted." you answered him.

"Forgotten... Ah, by your husband?" perceptive as always. You sighed, gase dropping to your tea once more, before nodding.

"Have you tried speaking to him? He has a shy nature, im sure-"

"Hes trying to help." you held up a hand to stop him. "He did not trust me, and hes trying to offer me space to show he does." you clarified.

"... I see." Yeosang chewed on his lip in thought. His lips were a pretty blush color, not as round as Mingi's but plump, they looked soft... Very soft.

You cursed yourself in your own head. His fingers, his lips, youd be lying to deny they hadnt crossed your mind when you bathed. Your hands wandering your own body, head leaned back and eyes closed. Imagining it was Yeosang's long fingers in place of your own as you gasped in pleasure.

You shooed away the maid who came to offer you more tea, informing her it wouldnt be needed. Lust was a vice that would only cause you harm as Mingi's wife. And yet, something stirred in your gut.

"Yeosang, will you come walk with me?" the Duke nodded quickly, standing to his feet to follow you deeping into the gardens.

Your husband would be furious. And yet, such a worry seemed to melt away as you let yourself become lost in his touch.

"My lady please, you must be quiet. Or else we shall scandalize some poor stable boy." Yeosang's voice purred in your ear, pressing soft kisses to your neck after speaking.

You bite your tongue as Yeosang let another finger slip inside you. You were right, his fingers were deliciously long, able to reach places within you your own faltered. His hand snaked up your skirts and inside your undergarments, the heel of his hand pressed against your clit, his wrist not forgetting such an important part as he rubbed it gently.

You could almost see stars as he began sucking on your neck, a third finger sliding within you.

"... I promised you, anything you ever needed, i will provide. If its council, wisdom, or even such sinful favors... I am at your service. Always." Yeosang's voice was honey on your skin. You pulled one of your hands up from where they were fisted in his jacket, tugging gently on his hair. He pulled away from your neck, eyes now staring into your own. A look of pride took his features, seeing the state of pleasure you were in at his hands.

Tugging his hair again, you let a small whine fall from your lips. He chuckled, increasing the pace of his hand, and before a moan could fall from your lips, he covered them with his own.

That night, cheeks finally faded with the glow of what yourself and the Duke had snuck away to do, you crossed paths with a guard.

“your highness! just who I was looking for~” dread pooled in your gut as you saw Hongjoong, cheerful grin on display, with a small kitten in his arms. Daisy shook like a leaf, eyes slit to spite the darkness of the hallway.

you opened your arms and Hongjoong placed the small cat in your hands. Daisy immediately pressed herself as far from Hongjoong as she could, a small hiss let out in his direction.

“how rude. if it wasn't for me she would have been stuck at the top of a lamp. ungrateful feline.” he huffed. you began to gently stroke the cat’s fur, in hopes of calming her down.

“an animal as small as this knows when it is in the jaws of a predator.” you stated. Hongjoong smiled, and your stomach dropped. humans are so stupid. Hongjoong is known as a cheerful and smiley person, but yet the cloud that follows him hides the nature of his grin. a wolf does not offer you a smile, he bares his teeth as a warning.

“and yet your little prince is so blissfully unaware of what he is toying with~” Hongjoong giggled. you simply blinked back at the creature before you. “you know, your fondness for that Duke will upset him. but if you wanted a straightforward solution-”

“I am not a fool like the other idiot humans that reside here.” you growled.

“oh no, absolutely not. but, witch, neither am i.” you narrow your eyes at him.

“I could have you hung for accusing the future queen of witchcraft.” you threatened. Hongjoong lay his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

“that would be a sight! do you really want to see what happened if you try and kill me?” Hongjoong stops himself before he begins laughing again. “actually I believe I know that answer. regardless, my offer still stands. just as our deal already does.”

“deal?” you feel panic rise in your throat.

“why yes, the silent one of course.” Hongjoong grins that same one that appears in your nightmares. the one that pulls his cheeks up and shows just a few to many teeth.

“you don't tell them what I am, and in exchange, I do the same.”

you awoke the next morning, without Mingi. his side of the bed was cold, and even Daisy had gone missing. you thought little of it as you rose to begin your day, however, you were not greeted by one of your handmaidens, but rather, a guard.

“your majesty, I come bearing news.” he swallowed nervously.

“oh? at this hour?” you inquired. you were then greeted by a sorrowful meow, Daisy crawling between the guards legs and hiding under your nightgown.

“your husband, Prince Mingi, was found dead in a poll of his own blood last night.”

who killed the king?

suspects : Yeosang | Seonghwa | Hongjoong

#smoky au #prince au #mingi x reader #mingi au #ateez x reader #Ateez au #yeosang x reader #Yeosang smut #royal au #fantasy au #demon au #knight au #Hongjoong au #Seonghwa au

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flowerwrites06 · 3 years

Text

break my mind’s eye X — jjk

Plot: Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal.

Pairing(s): Druglord!Jungkook x Fashion Designer!OC (Name: Belle)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 7k+

Genre: Mafia | Angst/Smut/Fluff

Tags & Warnings (for entire series): drug dealing, marriage through trickery, explicit smut, drug use, dubious consent, prostitution, miscarriage, lots of manipulation, impregnation through manipulation

The entire house descended into an ominous silence. Yoongi could hear murmurs coming from through the door where Saito and Belle were still conversing. No one could really hear what they were talking about. He had a few ideas however. Taehyung sat down at the small dining table while Jungkook had his back faced to everyone, leaning over the study table.

Time was running out. In only a few minutes those doors were going to burst open and Yoongi knew he had to keep his heart hardened. Exposing and arresting Jungkook was not just an act of heroism but it broke so many manipulative ties. So many dens used vulnerable people as bait, Taehyung being one of those victims. The countless amounts of people who died or were severely damaged while Jungkook made money off of that suffering.

Those thoughts provided him with a new boost of determination. He was doing this for good. It was a heartless act for a broken hearted man but it was the right thing.

Glancing over at Taehyung, Yoongi tried to give him an apologetic look knowing this was not the right time to be adding more stress. But they both knew this was for their freedom.

Heat erupted like a volcano from his toes right up to his head. Hands trembling and eyes burning as Yoongi reached into his holster, carefully hearing the rustling outside of the house.

Heartbeat pounded in his ears muffling all sound for a moment but his chest felt the thud.

The door burst open as a small crowd of police officers marched in almost like an army of cockroaches except more organized. Dark uniforms contrasting with the soft warm tones of the house design.

One of the officers pointed a gun at Taehyung making him stand up from the chair and raise his arms in defense.

“Stand down, he’s not the one we want. Niether are the two women inside the bedroom.” Yoongi ordered simply glancing over his shoulder as he pulled the gun out of the holster. He watched Jungkooks’ movements carefully but the younger male stayed still. Almost like a statue of sorts. Even Yoongi grew convinced that the world finally froze for a moment to give them time to breathe except he could only hold his right now.

Then Jungkook turned his body around, reddened gaze and an unreadable expression adorned on his broken features. Eyes merely glanced at the officers as if he already expected their presence…or was just too heartbroken to really care. Finally that same eerie gaze fixated on Yoongi. “Suppose I should’ve guessed it. No medical apprentice would know how to work a gun that well.” He smiled sadly, eyes still a little glossy.

“Jeon Jungkook…” Yoongi sighed, tightening his grip on the gun and pretending he was dreaming for a moment to make it easier not to shake. “You’re under arrest. Don’t make this harder on yourself and just come with us.”

“I’ll go.” Jungkook nodded a lot longer than Yoongi was comfortable with.

He could recognize that silence from far too many arrests already. Not a single person went so willingly, even the innocent ones.

Before anyone was prepared, Jungkook grabbed the gun from the table and shot the guard next to the older male.

Almost like machines all the standing officers raised their guns while injured officer groaned, bleeding on the floor.

“No! Stand down!” Yoongi ordered in more of a growl now ensuring no shots were fired from the police officers to prevent casualties. Especially since Taehyung was still standing there, breathing heavily. Raising his own gun at the Jungkook, both men now had their weapons pointed at each other.

None of them made a move for the trigger nor were they determined on lowering their guns either.

Belle and Saito jumped at the sound of a gunshot from the other side. The younger womans’ memory now jolting to what was to be done today, she pushed herself off the bed. Pain shot through her entire lower body as she moved her legs to the side and got to her feet. Belle leaned onto the wall with a light groan.

Saito immediately held onto her arms to keep her from moving any further. “You need to stay here if there’s danger happening.”

“No—” She shook his head, gently patting her hand. “He’s not going to listen. I need to talk to him.”

“If someone pulls the trigger accidentally—”

“Then I’ll get shot.” Belle replied simply, walking past the woman trying to be as kind as possible. There wasn’t really anything else that was going to surprise her anymore. If death was the next option for her continued torture then it didn’t look too bad.

She opened the door harshly causing a gust of wind and dust to flow through her hair and dress. Belle’s heart dropped when she saw Jungkook and Yoongi pointing a gun to each other. She hated not knowing which side scared her most. Either way her trembling feet moved forward.

If both Yoongi and Jungkook were stubborn before, it quickly faded to a numbing feeling when they saw Belle stand smack damn in the middle of them.

Yoongis’ eyes widened seeing his gun pointed right at her back and Jungkook lost all his anger for a moment seeing the end of his weapon aimed at his wifes’ forehead.

“Belle, what’re you doing?” Jungkook asked in a breathy voice, immediately putting his gun down as Yoongi did too not wanting to have that view ever again.

“Turn yourself in.” Belles’ lips quivered but she stood her ground, not wanting to succumb to the pain anymore even though it felt so easy to do so now.

Jungkooks’ mouth moved in a subtle manner attempting to form words, eyes momentarily glancing over at Saito who stood at the door before looking back at Belle. “Yoongi betrayed us—” He leaned in as if to try and reason with the woman in an attempt of a private conversation.

“You—” Belle corrected. “He betrayed you. Not us.” Her features twisted welcoming another brewing sob as more tears gathering at her stinging eyes. “He’s helping me.”

Jungkooks’ expression deflated. A disquiet silence plunged into the warm room. “No…n-no you’re just tired, you’re saying things.” He forced out a chuckle but it quickly faded into a confused frown. “Just go back to the bedroom.” He reached out to hold onto her arms.

Belle pushed his arms away and shook her head. “It’s over, Jungkook.” She gulped down the lump in her throat. “Please let it be over. I don’t want to do this anymore.” Tears overflooded and streamed down her cheeks, voice crackling at every word. “It hurts too much now, I tried—” She gasped lightly. “I really tried to be good for you but it has to end. Let it end.”

It didn’t take a mind reader to see Jungkooks’ whole world crash and shatter right in front of eyes when his lips parted and he lost control of his tears again. As his body shook and his heart clenched until it grew ten times smaller, the grip on his gun loosened. Metal clanged onto wood making Belle jump a little.

Yoongi gestured over to four officers making them immediately rush over to where Jungkook backed away and grab him by the arms.

Belle stood frozen as she watched her husband being dragged away out of the house. Letting out a drawling breath, the girl had to stop for a moment to ensure this wasn’t some kind of sick dream. Looking over her shoulder she saw Taehyung slowly walking towards her.

Immediately the older male engulfed his sister into a warm hug.

As if another dam broke down when Belle let out a series of sobs, a strange mixture of hurt and that little tingle of relief that she so longed for. It wasn’t fake anymore. Her sobs muffled a little into his shoulder. For a few seconds the woman could take a breath and quite happily cry her suppressed pain out without the pressure of smiling again.

She was hurt, broken and deeply damaged. But she survived. That was all that mattered in this moment of heartwarming vulnerability where a brother and sister could finally walk towards freedom.

A week almost flew by without Belle fully realizing her world changed overnight. The sun shone a bright golden high in the sky as she sat in one of the biggest law firms in the city where divorce papers were being filed and signed. Cool air brushed through her grey bodycon dress, the extra swell on her belly still poking out when she sat but it definitely dialed down significantly after all the check-ups and treatments.

Saito seemed to lose her smile for the past few days finding out the unfair game her biggest customer had been playing with none other than own protégé. A part of her felt guilt settle in her upset stomach letting all this happen under her nose without, even for a minute, checking if everything was okay.

Once Belle’s signature etched onto the paper, the papers were enveloped and made to be sent to the prison where Jungkook was held. Apparently the now convicted drug lord specifically asked to have a private cell as far away as possible from the city.

No pleas for bail. Nothing. Just quiet acceptance of the fate given to him.

Standing up from the chair after bidding farewell to the legal team, Saito guided Belle out of the office to the elevator.

With a pleasant ding, the doors slid open to reveal that the elevator was empty and the two women walked inside in silence.

As the doors closed and Belle felt a lift in her stomach as it descended down, she heard Saitos’ voice break the silence.

“I’m sorry, Belle.” Saito murmured not facing her but looking at the blurry reflection of her figure against the doors. “I should’ve known something was wrong from the beginning. Maybe—maybe none of this would’ve happened.”

Belle turned her head to face the older woman immediately shaking her head. “I’m the one who accepted the deal. And I’d do it again if I had to.” She spoke with any confidence mustered in the past few days.

All the daily interrogations really built a wall of confidence over her. Investigators really liked asking questions about the impregnation ritual and miscarriage on how it was not technically Jungkooks’ fault she said yes to him.

Even Namjoon, Yoongis partner, in all his ability to be patient, grew frustrated at the inappropriate and misogynistic questions thrown at her which really did not bring them closer to thickening Jungkooks’ case.

Both officers were struggling to find a decent number of years fit for Jungkooks’ sentence. That would only work if the investigators were not trying so hard to make Belle look like the real personification of Lady Macbeth, using her wit and beauty to ‘trick’ Jungkook in to committing the crimes he did.

Eventually that mindset was debunked considering how long Jungkook and his whole family had reigned over the city.

Out the elevator, Belles’ thoughts seemed to come to life when the two women were welcomed by two familiar officers at the lobby.

Namjoon and Yoongi stood waiting, with coffees in hand and badges flashing from their belts looking utterly out of place in an area infested by people wearing suits.

To her though, the familiar look brought a smile across her face.

“Can I say I’m out of the woods now?” Belle chuckled nervously looking at Namjoon and Yoongis’ expression twist into a mixture of a smile and some splashes of disappointment. “What was the verdict?”

The two men met each other’s gaze for a few moments before Yoongi took a breath to speak.

“Five years.” The answer lingered amongst the group with an eerie note.

Belle’s smile disappeared as she shifted where she stood, trying to immediately reassure herself with any comforting words that could be conjured. A lot of things could happen in five years. Which brought a sink in her belly wondering whether the life she makes at that time would be interrupted by a ghost of her past.

“You’ll be under court protection so he can’t come near you whether in prison or not.” Namjoon explained in the calm tone.

“It’s not him I’m worried about.” She smiled sadly. The couple were ripped apart in the heat of swirling events that overwhelmed the both of them. Despite the brush of freedom Belle now felt, there was still the nagging feeling at the back of her mind that something needed to be said. Like a chapter unfinished or a song stopped smack damn in the middle.

“There’s no need to worry about something that long away now.” Saito patted the younger womans’ back. “I’m going to work. You are going to get a whole day off and try not to think about anything else but yourself.” A comforting smile spread across her lips.

Belles’ gaze flickered over to Yoongi, her heart jumping a little to see his eyes already fixated on her.

Walking out of the firm building, the heat was pleasant on her skin after the chill of the air conditioners for hours. Saito took her own car to drive her around because Belle started getting a bit too jumpy to drive for a while. The younger woman was not so sure why because she had already seen and heard so many things that no person should in their lifetime.

Saito walked to her car and climbed inside.

As Belle tried to follow her, Yoongi lightly touched her shoulder to bring attention back to him.

“There’s something I need to show you.” He murmured, his tone serious.

Belle looked over at the male, confusion gripping her features but she did not argue much further.

Giving a quick farewell to Saito, she opted to climb into the SUV the two officers drove in. Apparently police protection had to be done in the subtle way possible to prevent spies from getting way too observant on when they were coming to watch Belle.

Climbing into the vehicle, the AC once again bursting throughout as Namjoon already started the engine while Yoongi got into the car. They drove off almost immediately and kept a strange level of silence in the air. Not that Belle was in mood for any kind of conversation, it still brought a small tinge of discomfort.

Passing the building at a somewhat snail pace as the traffic thickened, Yoongi finally built up some kind of courage to structure the words in his mind. The piece of paper in his hands itching to be given to the woman. The letter that could have potentially determined Jungkooks’ fate that night. If anyone found out that the man handed this confidential document to someone so close to the criminal, he would lose his job almost instantly. But it had to be done. Despite all the things happened Belle deserved to know Jungkooks’ plan prior to his arrest.

“What did you want to show me?” Belle broke the silence out of pure lack of patience with the thickening quiet.

Yoongi let out a deep sigh glancing over at Namjoon who kept his focus on the road rather than any of them. Pushing himself to a jolt of courage, he held the folded piece of paper behind him gesturing it closer to her. “This.”

Brows furrowed, Belle gingerly accepted the paper and unfolded it revealing handwritten words that only went through half the page.

“It’s the last letter he wrote before getting arrested.” He stated. Somehow the exchange proved to be a thousand times easier when Yoongi could not actually face the woman. However the deafening silence very quickly grew unbearable.

Eyes scanned across the words carefully written with the extra ink spreads at the end of most of the letters. Little dots scattered after a sentence because he was probably thinking up the best way to say something. Then the words themselves. Jungkook planned to give everything up to raise their family. He chose to give up his riches, power and reputation for family.

It was a lie. It had to be, right?

Why would he lie to his parents however? There was no reason to dramatically announce giving up his empire for his wife and child for people who were not even in the country. His parents wouldn’t want him to give up the empire. Jungkook didn’t say what his parents probably wanted to hear. Nor was there any use to lie to them about how much he cared about his own growing family.

It couldn’t be the other thing.

That wasn’t real, remember?

Belle felt her eyes sting and burn forcing her to rip her gaze away from the letter. Staring out the window, the buildings began blurring into one another either from her teary vision or the speed of the car. “Did you find this before or after the arrest?” She asked in a mixture of a murmur and whisper.

Yoongi pursed his lips together. “Belle—”

“Before…or after?” She emphasized her words in a more firm tone.

The male glanced up at the ceiling feeling a light constraint in his chest. A part of him prepared for this very moment where he would tell Belle the truth about Jungkooks’ intentions. Maybe his need to abide by duty overpowered it. Or maybe it was something a little more selfish than just his job. “Before. I found it before the show.”

Belle let out a shaky sigh, body deflating into the leather seat as she hugged the paper to her chest. “Why—why did you keep it from me?” Her voice cracked a little.

“What would you have done if I had told you?” Yoongis’ stomach may have dropped the slightest thinking of a very different turnout if Jungkook actually went through with his plan.

“You still shouldn’t have hid it from me.” Her heart began pounding and racing so hard, they could almost crack through her ribcages at this point. Did she do the wrong thing helping Jungkook get arrested? “He was—” Belle tried to let out a deep breath but it all collected in her throat preventing any of her nerves to calm down. They only grew more frazzled, tightening and numbing any ability to hear things clearly. “He was going to stop.”

“People like that don’t just stop.” Yoongi replied simply. “Give him three years of keeping his promise and he’s going to be back at it again.”

“That still didn’t give you the right to go behind my back like that!” Chest rose and fell as the woman struggled to gain a normal pattern of breathing. Her body burned like a volcano erupted from her belly, shooting uncomfortably through each vein.

“I was undercover, that was my job.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

“I was helping you! The whole time I thought—” At this point all Belle could do was heave as all the heat rushed through her head, tears melting down her cheeks and dripping onto her chest.

“He—”

“Yoongi!” Namjoon finally spoke up glancing over at the older male before indicating to the left. “She’s getting anxious, stop it.”

Yoongi had no stubbornness to fight any further anyway except now he wished there was anger to at least numb down that twisting feeling in his stomach. He could hear the way the girl heaved to get a deep breath out while the car slowed down gradually coming to the side emergency lane.

Namjoon puts the car to a complete stop and Belle immediately climbs out before Yoongi could mentally prepare himself for it.

The fresh breeze of air felt new as if Belle had not been breathing it a few minutes ago. Her body cooled down although it merely touched the surface; heart still beat far too fast to really think in a proper pattern. Everything felt like a kaleidoscope of emotions. Reddening from anger, then blue splotches of deep rooted sadness, deep maroon when she found the space next to her bed empty and her own apartment looked foreign all the while accompanied with a vibrant yellow to reassure her everything was going to be okay. The best and worst feeling that brought confusion to her vulnerable, healing body.

These momentary crashes of panic were happening a lot more often than she liked to admit. Belle remembered the first time was two nights after the arrest. Her whole night completely spent with Taehyung trying to help her regulate her breathing until at an ungodly hour of four in the morning, they managed to get some shut eye. Although not enough to keep them alert the next day.

Being in the car usually caused the worst of it and it didn’t help with the letter now swirling in her mind. It was so much more easy to think that Jungkook was a horrible, tyrannous drug lord who didn’t care for anyone but himself and his empire. To think that he had other priorities in mind while Belle helped his enemy brought an unwelcome twinge of guilt.

After a few moments’ of leaving the woman alone to her space, Yoongi climbed out of the car into the cool air. Sighing, he spoke up to break the silence. “Belle I’m sorry I didn’t—”

“I would’ve stayed with him.” Belle answered hugging herself as tightly as she could before nodding briefly. “If you told me about the letter, I would’ve protected him.” Her features twisted, not a face of pride for a loved one but one of submission and desperation. “At first it was because I was pregnant, I couldn’t raise the baby on my own, I knew that, I knew that my baby deserved a good family away from the world he was in. So if Jungkook ever told me he was going to give the whole life up…I would’ve gone with him.” A long drawling breath passed through her lips as the words seemed to loosen a few knots in her body.

For a minute she tried to searching deep into her mind wondering if the words coming out of her mouth were true. But there was nothing. “Why didn’t the police ask me about this?” Belle held up the paper not really knowing she was still holding.

“I am the police.” Yoongi shrugged. “I just didn’t give it to them. They had enough evidence to ensure Jungkook was the culprit for all the drug dens. The assassination on the mayor was more information for the mayor only.” He dug his hands into his pockets. “About you going with him…” He let out a brief sigh. “Is it just for the baby?”

Tears dried up from the wind, her face feeling a little tight. She shook her head. A part of Belle still grew so used to pretending like she had to sugarcoat things or make it sound like she was in control. However once you allow something to feel broken, it’ll feel like falling and falling into an endless abyss until all you can do is get back up again. “No…it wasn’t just for the baby.” Belle’s bottom lip quivered. “I didn’t want to…I really didn’t want to—” She closed her eyes before hanging her head. “But I do.” Shaky hands held onto the letter again.

Yoongi could almost feel a dark cloud over them. Belle should have been moving towards a path of healing, not wondering what it would been like all her life. Granted there was no way to know whether she was going to continue helping him after reading the letter but it still didn’t give him any right to keep this truth away from her. The last thing she needed was getting played into another lie.

Belle took another deep breath as her body now slowly calmed itself down. “It’s okay though, right? You did it to protect me and other people.” She sucked in her bottom lip. “There’s no reason to cry about it now.”

“Belle…” He murmured taking a small step closer.

“It’s okay, Yoongi.” Reddened eyes met his gaze. “Just take me home please.” Belle padded past the male and climbed back into the car leaving Yoongi with a question of whether he just helped the woman or rushed through a mission just so he could get what he wanted.

The drive back to her apartment reverted back to its original silence. Belle placed the letter into her purse despite a few sensible sides of her advising she get rid of it. It would only hurt more to keep it and wonder but her body seemed to grow weak whenever the thought crossed her mind.

Namjoon parked in front of the apartment building and Belle gave the two officers a quick ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’ before climbing out of the car.

Up the elevator and through the hallways, Belle felt a rush of relief coming back to her home again. At least she tried to call it her home now. It almost felt like coming into a hotel or just a really strong déjà vu as the old memories of her time here seemed so long ago.

Walking through the entrance, Belle tossed her purse on the kitchen island, leaning against the edge of the counter, fingers ran through her hair only to get a little caught in the middle. Pulling them out, she merely pushed the strands back and grabbed scrunchie from her purse to tie it back up into a loose ponytail. “Tae?” She called out softly.

The apartment was fairly silent at least until she heard ruffling on the spare room. Belle had moved most of her designs from the room to her own while some of her steel stands scattered around the living room.

Eventually the door opened with a half-naked Taehyung padded out of the room, ruffling his hair as his lips pouted out, eyes squinting into the light. “Hey…how’d the signing go?”

Belle shrugged, rummaged through her purse and seeing the piece of paper just sitting there. “I guess the same as any other divorce.”

“If you marry a mob boss, sure.” Taehyung stopped near the edge of the counter.

“What were you doing today?”

Taehyung rubbed his face trying to hide the wide smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. Despite the exhaustion across his expression, there was still this aura of joy. It was not hard to guess who may have caused that smile. Seokjin had created full freedom for Taehyung to visit Angel without any rules involved but for her protection against her ex-husband, she had to publicly stay married to him. That is until some solid legal actions were made to properly keep Angel protected so they could think of something more serious with their new blooming relationship. “Little this, little that.” The struggle to keep his smile failed terribly as the biggest damn grin graced his features.

Belles’ heart swelled, a more comforting warmth spreading across her body compared to the one she felt during the drive. For a moment she could remind herself that things were actually more okay now. Taehyung looked so much happier and she even saw him sketching the other day. Things were looking to be normal again. Except for the secret in her purse. Gulping down, she pulled the paper out. “Tae…” Eyes stared down at the folded paper before placing it on the table.

The older males’ smile faded away into one of curiosity when he saw the paper in her hands. “What is it?”

“Yoongi gave me this…” She murmured, fingers caressing over the surface. Much to her slight shame Belle could imagine caressing Jungkooks’ cheek. How warm he felt and he would almost always lean into her touch naturally. The thought made her abruptly stop the action, gulping those feelings down. “It’s a letter…from Jungkook.” Belle took a deep breath. “It says that he was going to give everything up for me…” Her stomach twisted. “For the me and the—the baby.”

It didn’t take a genius to feel the heat of anger already radiating from her older brother as he tightened his jaw. “He’s just lying.” Taehyungs’ voice grew dark, making it even more raspier than it already was.

“It was a letter to his parents.” Sharing the same thought as the other male would have been comforting but Belle knew better than to lie to herself just for the sake of making things easier to bear.

“Doesn’t matter. He’d never do that, he loves his power too much.” Taehyung shook his head.

“That doesn’t mean he didn’t care about his family.” Belle glanced down at the letter.

“There isn’t any family now.” He corrected. “You’re divorced, he’s not your responsibility and the kid—” Taehyung immediately pursed his lips to calm his frustrations down before he said anything he was going to regret.

Belle stayed silent staring down at her dress, lump growing in her throat. With the whirlwind of things that had been happening in such a short time, the miscarriage seemed a distant memory. At least until she was reminded of how fresh the wound still was. “I know all that.” She murmured.

Taehyung immediately padded closer to the younger standing next to her. His arm moved over her back, rubbing up and down her arm while his forehead pressed against her temple. “I’m sorry…” He whispered. “I know everything hurts right now but it’ll be okay.” He tilted his head to try and search her expression. “You gave up so much to take care of me. Let me take care of you.” Long fingers brushed back a few strands of her hair behind her ear.

Chest fell and pushed out with a small sob passing Belle’s lips, the heat from Taehyungs’ body in such close proximity providing her comfort. “Okay.” She whispered. Turning her body around with a light sniffle, she buried her face into his bare chest, arms hooking back and hands gripping at his shoulders.

How freeing it was to be able to curl up into Taehyung’s arms whenever her mind decided to play tricks on her. Belle knew she was strong, so many people including the reporters on the news continuously tried to tell her. But it never reassured her. Strength was what got her into this mess. For once, Belle truly felt happy knowing she was strong but could still rely on the people she loved when her strength wasn’t enough.

Tonight had exactly been that night where Belle’s mind opted not to give her a break. Hazy visions of running around the dark Jeon mansion, not even the guards were present. Then it faded to the house she grew up in with her parents celebrating Taehyungs’ birthday party while she peeked out from her bedroom to watch it.

Then her bedroom now in this current apartment. She forcefully looked to her side and saw a familiar sleeping figure, blurry phoenix tattoo on his chest. His large hand came over to rest of her belly but now she wore a white dress. As he raised his hand up, blood spread from one point all across until the color changed.

Pain jolted in her head when she heard a gunshot.

Belle’s eyes opened.

Everything stilled, light ringing in her ears like she just walked out of a club. Sweat layered in on her skin as if she was really running before passing out on her bed. The ringing got louder. Belle realized it was not coming from her ears but from somewhere in her bedroom.

Exhaustion still pulling at her form, she pushed herself up from the bed to look at her nightstand. Her phone lighting up the entire room as it vibrated against the wood and sounded a ring. A familiar name on the screen: Yoongi.

Brows furrowed, Belle turned on a lamp since going back to sleep again after a dream like that was not likely. She pressed the green button and put the device to her ear. “Yoongi? What’s wrong?” For a moment it felt strange hearing her own voice, still raspy from her slumber.

“Sorry I know it’s late.” Yoongi murmured through the phone.

“It’s alright, I’m up anyway.” Belle scratched the back of her neck lightly, eyes still closing but her mind still too frazzled to let her be pulled back in again. “What is it?”

“Could you—could you come outside? Bring your stuff with you.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, it’s important. I can’t do it during the day so—” Yoongi cleared his throat.

Belle pouted looking at the clock for a moment to see that it was two in the morning. “I’ll be down in five minutes.” She replied quickly before completely getting off her bed and walking to her closet. Leaving her deep blue pajama set on, she merely draped a big coat over her body. Messy hair tied up in a somewhat decent bun as the girl stared in the mirror with a subtle pink tint on her lips to make her look less exhausted. Though the puffiness under her eyes spoke the truth.

Tiptoeing out of her bedroom, she glanced around before seeing the door to Taehyung’s bedroom closed. A part of Belle wanted to let him know that she was going somewhere but at this point, the older male wouldn’t really wake up so it didn’t seem necessary.

So giving one more look over her shoulder the woman placed on some shoes and walked out of the apartment as quietly as she could.

The crisp night air was both refreshing and unwelcoming as the moon still smiled onto the world from where Belle was looking. Across the path from the building to the curb where Yoongihad his van parked, she noticed the dew on the grass glimmering under the silver light while the trees whistled in the wind.

Eventually Belles’ gaze fully set on the van where Yoongi had his lights on to ensure she could confirm it was him and not someone trying to lure her. There had been a lot of looming danger for Jungkooks’ enemies to try and put the woman in danger despite their end in marriage. Which was also why the police protection was put in place rather than just keeping her safe from her ex-husband.

Walking to the passenger seat, she opened the door and climbed in without a word spoken until her seatbelt was fully fastened.

“Where’re you taking me?” Belle asked in a calm tone though the lack of information made her heart beat a little too fast for comfort.

“Somewhere I’m not allowed to.” Yoongi answered simply, turning on the engine and letting it purr for a moment before driving off into the street.

Silence took over the cool air of the vehicle adding more fuel to the confusion filling Belle. The streets slowly faded into main roads and then it turned to a highway. She pulled her knees into her chest, looking out the window wondering whether to ask again or just figure it out when the car stopped.

But then Yoongi spoke up for her. “You deserve closure.” His eyes were completely focused on the road, finding it easy to explain himself when he wasn’t meeting her gaze. “We got our jail sentence for Jungkook.” He shrugged. “That was all we wanted. To break his empire down in a status that was manageable. But you—” He glanced for a second after gaining some courage but looked at the road. “Your relationship with Jungkook is more personal than anyone else who wanted him down.” Yoongi took a sharp right turn.

“Aren’t you going to get into trouble?”

“Not if you can keep a secret.” He smirked.

Belle couldn’t help but smile a little. Although now there was a light sink in her belly having to prepare for a meeting she never thought she would have. Police and even her lawyer reassured that she would never see the male again but somehow it didn’t reassure her as much as seeing him on more time did.

The car drove into a dark yard, the building towering over the car park with some bright white lights shining inside the cement fences. Yoongi drove towards the metal date, letting the guard at the booth know who he was. A piercing clang echoed through the air as the gate slid open, creaking terribly in its journey.

Slowly inching into the car park, the male drove closest to the building before turning the engine off.

Belle climbed out of the car and stepped towards the entrance. Footsteps crunched against the gravel until the older male stood next to her.

Through the entrance, the two were already welcomed in by the guards. However welcomed was a strong word for blank expressions and monotonous voices. Yoongi was told to stay outside while Belle walked in because only one person was allowed to visit at a time.

Past the dank looking halls, Belle walked under the greenish light, all the while hearing howling and moaning from the other side. Indistinctive words but it wasn’t hard to tell they were all expressing misery. Her mind now filled with the vision of that wide sweet smile and warm gaze stuffed into this crowd.

The guard opened a door for her revealing a room with a line of seats. A glass division in front of it. It was mostly empty aside from an elderly woman sobbing while talking to a younger prisoner on the other side.

Belle was gestured to sit in one of the center booths. Hugging her bag to her chest, she did as she was told. Eyes flickered over to the guard on the other side keeping a close on the younger prisoner at the other side. A metal door closed next to him. In the slight silence the girl attempted to take a deep breath and organize what she could say.

Then the metal door clanged open making her jump back a little.

A figure wearing bright orange padded in and sat on the center, eyes not meeting hers yet. He slouched down on the chair, hair mostly tied up except for large piece handing over the side of his face.

When his gaze flickered up, his expression softened and his posture straightened. Jungkook stammered glancing around the room before looking back at Belle almost convinced that this could be a dream. “I thought you weren’t allowed to be here.”

“Do you want me to go?” Belle gripped at her purse tightly, heart pounding against her ribcages at the anticipation of his answer.

“No.” Jungkook pursed his lips together.

Silence plunged between them. Whether it was comfortable or disconcerting was up for debate.

Belle leaned in a little resting her elbows on the little table before her, eyes momentarily glancing down at the little holes made to be one of their ways of clear communication. “I saw the letter.”

It didn’t take Jungkook far too long for his face to soften into one of recognition.

“Were you lying?”

“Would it make you feel better if I said I was?”

Belle let out a shaky sigh, another small lump growing her throat but she swallowed it down. “No.” She shook her head slowly. “I want the truth.”

Jungkook shifted in his position causing the handcuffs around his wrists to clink. “That day I yelled at you…” He stayed silent for a few seconds to take a deep breath. “I realized my priorities were muddled and I needed to figure out what was more important.” Adams apple bobbed up and down as his glossy eyes met hers now. “What I loved the most.”

Lips quivered as the lump only grew in her throat until she had to hang her head. “I didn’t know.” Belle whispered, breathing shakily. “I thought—I thought you didn’t care about us and then I saw Yoongi and—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He answered simply. “Yoongi was going to expose me with how close he was anyway. The new mayor was at my tail, it was bound to—”

“It’s not about the mission.” Belle closed her eyes and emphasized her words, fingers trembling a little. “I hated your job. I hated everything about it but I didn’t hate you.” She sucked in her bottom lip. “When I read that letter that you were going to give everything up for me, I felt—I—”

Jungkook searched the beauty’s expression, leaning in a bit more to maybe catch some warmth from her body or her scent. “What did you feel?” His voice came out in a whisper.

“I felt like I just—gave up something. Something that might’ve made me happy.” Belles’ eyes flooded with tears making her irises blurry before a single drop escaped down her cheek. “I kept thinking about how different it could’ve been if you weren’t who you were. Maybe if you were just… Jungkook and none of this happened. Maybe we’d be happy together.” She chuckled sadly before briefly covering her mouth.

“Would I have made you happy?” He sniffled lightly. “Even after all I did?”

His question floated in the air freely for a few moments as Belle wiped away the escaped tears staining her skin. “Maybe…” She shifted closer. Eyes flickered down at the holes again. Shaky fingers slyly hooked onto two of them not looking back at Jungkooks’ gaze rather looking at down her digits and sighed. “But I can’t…do this all over again on a ‘maybe’.”

Jungkook almost had his forehead pressing against the glass just to feel her close again. Instead the woman initiated the second best thing by putting her fingers through the opening of the glass division. His own rough fingers reached in to caress her soft skin before hooking them on top of hers.

Belle couldn’t help but feel a jolt in her belly feeling his familiar fingers on her again. It was a subtle action but it brought so many long slumbered feelings through her body. They both know this electric magnet between them was a ruse to hide the real truth. What they needed to say but could never admit in real life.

Until now.

“Do you feel happier now?” Jungkook asked, breaking the warm silence.

The real truth. The reason why Belle wanted to come here. Was it a real feeling of longing? Or just a strong attractions towards the comforts she created in the fantasy of her past? No matter how heartbreaking. It was a moment of weakness where the woman could only remember giggling under the sheets with Jungkooks’ warm hands all over her body, eating ice-cream late at night or giving each other reassuring words.

It was at this moment, Belle needed to remember that was only part of the story. Part of the beautiful fantasy they built together but now the show needed to end before anyone else got hurt.

Belle now spoke out the truth.

“I do.” She nodded, smiling through her light tears. “I do feel happier.”

Jungkook couldn’t control a wide smile of his own stretching across his lips hearing those words. “That’s good.” He let out a faint chuckle. “That’s all that should matter to you now, okay?”

Belle hummed lightly in agreement. “I hope you feel happier soon too. Once you’re out of here.”

He nodded finally succumbing to pressing his head gently against the glass, breath fogged up the surface as he spoke. “I’ll try.”

That was all they both needed to hear.

The curtains had been lifted and the fantasy dissipated. All that could be seen now was two broken individuals in their rawest form, making their slow but healthy path to a happier life. One they could finally choose for themselves.

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