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cloudycrystalkpop · 2 years
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oh bby :( therapy really worked for me and getting myself on antidepressants also really really helped. it’s just a matter of taking the time to find a therapist who will actually help you and switching thru the medications until you find one that works for you. please know that you have mutuals and followers who genuinely care about you and will miss you if you ever died. if there’s anyone who knows about your mental health in real life pls let them know that you’ve been struggling and try to keep yourself surrounded with others that care about you. Next time you’re feeling unsafe please let someone know. if you’re feeling unsafe, go to someone else’s place, go to a public place, go to a restaurant or something that’s open 24 hours. get yourself away from anything that you could use to kill yourself. DO NOT FORGET THAT PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU. we love you. we don’t want you to go.
national suicide hotline: 800-273-8255
don't be me and call someone if you need to
personal story and trigger warning for under the cut
okay yeah no I was doing really really bad back in early July. I don't really wanna go into detail because rather then getting it off my chest its just gunna make me relive it all over again and I really don't wanna do that.
anyway, I remember looking at my phone and contemplating calling a hotline, but I didn't because I was frighted of waking up and upsetting the person I was living with at the time. I was in a very toxic relationship, or rather, we had just broken up but neither of us had somewhere else to go.
I texted my mama and my little brother, I told them I loved them. I wrote a note, I still have it actually, and then I made that post.
honestly, I'm tired. I have a lot of chronic illnesses, physical ones, not even counting my mental ones. I've been on and off medication my whole life and I have even more problems then when I started as permanent side effects.
anyway, the point isn't me asking for pity, at this point I'm 21 and I no longer care what other people think. its to tiring and I don't have the energy.
don't be me, either get help and pull yourself out of it, or succeed and actually die. living in-between is a lot less fun.
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cloudycrystalkpop · 2 years
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good to know you’re okay, bc I have your post notifications on and I saw the post about you saying “if I don’t post for a while assume I’m dead” and I basically kept spamming you and you never responded and fucking CHRIST MAN it is NOT fun thinking you were actually dead.
trigger warning: suicide attempt mention under the cut
okay, there's no point in hiding this since I did publicly post about it at the time.
I attempted suicide in, July I believe? it may have been late June of this year (2021) and I failed (obviously lol).
never even went to the hospital, just, went to work the next day like nothing happened.
I've attempted suicide before in my life, and its been something that's haunted me for years. I'm currently seeking a diagnosis so I can hopefully be put on proper medication as the ones I was on only made it worse.
depression is a common mental illness but for some of us its not a simple diagnosis. I'm planning to be tested for autism and possibly borderline personality disorder in the new year.
I would like to tell you everything is okay, and that I'll get medication and be fine, but honestly I don't know.
however, I want to apologies for the scene I made when I made that post. I genuinely hoped I wouldn't wake up that night, and the anxiety of the people here who have read my work never knowing what happened bothered me deeply.
I had a flood of messages after I posted that and the shame and fear kept me from responding to any of them. I stepped back from a lot of social media after my failed attempt and I was so ashamed and had so much anxiety that I kinda just ran and hid.
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cloudycrystalkpop · 2 years
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Serpentine
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pairing: Leviathan! I.M x human! gender neutral reader
summery: drowned by an eldritch creature, you awaken confused, at the feet of an envious demon.
warnings: death and drowning, Christian mythology, occult themes, mild nudity, creature!Changkyun????
words: 753
notes: I've been playing a lot of Obey Me... don’t ask. should also probably read some Lovecraft if I wanna continue this story
~
drowning, that is now where you found yourself. suffocation was not an ideal way to die, but all the same, you didn't think it would be so... calming. the panic fell to the back of your mind, heart racing and lungs burning, in your focus however, was the creature in the water before you. 
you wondered if they would eat you. the shimmering rows of teeth could slice your flesh like razors. to spite death laying heavy on your tongue, you let your eyes wander over the creature. they were as beautiful as they were horrifying. 
serpentine, scales shimmered in the slanted rays of light. the spines of the creature glowed, bio luminescent in the murky water. they moved gracefully, easily the size of a large navel ship, every feature perfectly symmetrical. 
the taste of death was that of salt water, as it plunged into your lungs. 
~
wet. filth. the scent of dead rotting fish invaded your sense. you bolted upright, coughing and sputtering black putrid water. it tastes like a sewer, only serving to gag you further. 
“better out than in.” growled a deep masculine voice. 
your body shivered, suddenly aware of your own nakedness. your hair stuck to your skin, an overwhelming feeling of some kind of goo coating your flesh. 
raising your head you found a pair of boots in your line of sight. trailing up, torn and faded trousers, mold and rot practically sewn into the garment. above them, an equally distressed navel jacket, pins and badges also scraped and torn. a pair of arms crossed over the chest, and finally the man’s face. 
a feeling a shame came over you as his eyes trailed over your nude form, nothing but vague amusement in his eyes. he was beautiful, his hair dark as ink. it lay limply, faint curls weighed by dampth, framing his cheeks. 
“...who are you?” the words were choked from your abused throat. he quirked an eyebrow, eyes trailing over your body slowly. 
“... I am what I am.” he grinned. your breath hitched as rows of sharp teeth greeted you. a forked tongue peeked out to wet his lips as he chuckled darkly. 
“...God?” the man let out a rumbling laugh at your confusion. 
“oh little human, he won't help you down here.” his eyes twinkled with amusement. 
“are you Death then?” you asked again. he smiled, this one less twisted than the last. 
“one form of it to you.” he leaned down, placing his palm on your head. “it isn't often I find a human bold enough to drown in my lair.” you flinched, his skin cold to the touch. 
lair... a memory crawled back to the forefront of your mind. 
your arms tied, mouth gagged, thrown into a pit, a portal as the occult called it. you were scarified. thrown into the Lair of the Leviathan. 
“...Leviathan... the prince of hell... a sea serpent...” your eyes widened as it dawned on you you’d spoken out loud. 
“you are quicker than most humans. I'll give you that.” the hand on your head was gentle as it stroked your scalp. “those occultists who threw you down there to die, intended to offer you as a sacrifice to me.” he purred, now leaning down on one knee. 
“now tell me, little human, should I except?” tilting your chin up with one finger. 
“...no sir. they simply intend to use you as a stepping stone... to grant power from your brothers.” you spoke, pleased with the confidence in your voice. 
“of course they do.” the creature before you growled in anger. the air around him became cold, causing you to shiver once more. “greedy, stupid humans. they lust for power. I am never seen as anything but an after thought. the lot of you to seduced by my brothers and their stupid parlor tricks.” 
the venom of jealousy dripped from his words. 
“you understand you will gain nothing from this. your life is already forfeit at my claws.” his attention fell back to you once again. now gripping your chin, nails sharp against your skin. 
“yes sir. that is why I have no reason to lie to you.” your voice was soft as you finally raised your eyes to meet his. pools of purple and green greeted you, swirling like whirlpools. 
“...well done little human.” he stood, now pulling you to your feet as well. “you are an unappetizing sacrifice, however,” he circled you, movements fluid and graceful. “...you will make an amusing little pet. come with me.” 
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cloudycrystalkpop · 2 years
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SMOKY | Haunted Halls
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SMOKY MASTERLIST
blind! prince! Mingi x fem! reader x demon! Hongjoong
words: 1k+
warnings: death, suicide, witchcraft and demons
au: crown royal au 
notes: this is the stories “true ending” but it has two alternate endings.
~
“your husband, Prince Mingi, was found dead in a poll of his own blood last night.”
the words rung like church bells in your ears. even now, as you walked the dark halls under the castle. you had 48 hours until the burial and public announcement. 
the physician told you the full details. 
“Prince Mingi was found in the west wing observatory, at approximately 3am, by Mr. Jongho. the butler stated he had heard a loud and forlornful meowing from the observatory, and had suspected the prince’s cat had perhaps gotten itself stuck. Prince Mingi was found in a pool of his own blood, a single stab wound through his abdomen. I can infer for almost certain that he was killed by a sword ran completely through from the front, with the tip of it exiting his back. this severed many critical arteries and organs, leading the prince to bleed to death.” 
bleed to death.
Mingi had died, slowly, alone, helpless, and in agony. 
the west wing observatory was a secluded part of the castle. it overlooked the capital town below, and offered a beautiful view of the night sky. 
for many, dying in such a peaceful place may be preferable, however... Mingi was blind. never had he ever mentioned any interest in the observatory, and to your knowledge, he had never actually stepped foot there. 
an odd place for him to die.
“Hongjoong!” you called the guard’s name harshly, marching up and taking him forcefully by the arm. 
“oh~ my, where are you dragging me off to?” he wondered, not bothering to resist as you pulled him down a dimly lit hallway. 
“the catacombs.” you replied. 
~
a lantern was tied at your hip as you walked in step with the creature. 
“tell me, do you know who killed my husband?” you asked, eyeing him from the corner of your vision. Hongjoong grinned, that horrible horrible smile.
“yes.”
“have you shared this information with anyone?” 
“no.”
you signed, pulling loosely at the sleeves of your blouse. the chilly air doing little to ease your anxiety. 
“if I may be so bold, little witch, why am I here?” he asked, his normal playful voice returning. 
“having a demon in my home is a liability, however.” you came to a halt at a dead end. 
a pattern of chock lay on the stone floor. unlit candles placed strategically around the symbol, one very familiar to Hongjoong. 
“oh my~ you did all this for me? I'm flattered Your Highness~” Hongjoong’s voice cooed in a teasing tone, smile creeping back onto his face. 
“you are a demon of war. summoned by the late King, who made a contract with you. that you would let our kingdom win our war in exchange for the life of his child. long before the late prince’s death.” 
you stated, leaning down the begin lighting the candles.
“but, you waited, not taking the boy’s life as a child. you waited until he wed, waited until the king died, waited until there was peace within the kingdom. then you killed the prince and his princess, letting the two royal freaks take their place.” 
you blew out the match, standing once more.
“have I missed anything?” you challenged him, raising one eyebrow. 
Hongjoong let our a jolly laugh, clutching his stomach. “oh, you really think you have everything figured out? I thought you were smarter than that! smart enough to unravel your husband’s death, but still a silly witch after all~” his eyes glowed in the candle light. 
“let me enlighten you.” every one of your candles went out, including the lantern at your belt. 
~
the court was loud and frightening. outrage and confusion at the death of the crown prince. who killed him? was the murderer still in the castle? who would take his place? 
Seonghwa was found 21 hours after you first received the news of your husbands death. his sword, still stained with blood was pierced into the ground below the large willow tree on the outskirts of the garden, just outside the canopy. 
a gardener, a young man named San, shook like a leaf where he sat on a bench. you were gentle as you placed a blanket over his shoulders, asking him to relay his story one more time. 
San’s voice shook as you crouched before him, hands gentle in his lap as you rubbed his knees comfortingly. 
Seonghwa hung himself from the willows branches. he left no note, no goodbye, only his sword, Mingi’s dried blood still on the blade. San hiccuped slightly as he relayed the sight. 
your loyal knight’s handsome face, tears still staining his cheeks, body limp as one of the willow’s branches. 
~
you gave the court three months. it was announced to the kingdom, that the crown prince had been murdered, and his killer a rouge knight who committed suicide. 
it didn't take long for your advisors to begin pestering you to chose a new husband, or forfeit the crown in grief. 
“My Lady? please, you must eat.” Yeosang’s voice was sweet as ever, handing you a tart, begging you with his large gentle eyes. 
“Yeosang, I have a confession to make... I have done something horrible...” your voice wavered in your throat, staring down at the tart in your hand.
“please My Lady, speak kindly of yourself. these tragedies are not your doing.” he cooed. 
“Yeosang,” you turned to the young Duke. “what lengths would you be willing to go to... to be king?” you asked. 
Yeosang jerked away with a start. 
“would you sell your soul for it? make a deal with the devil? would you kill a man? kill two men?”
“M-My Lady I'm not sure what you are implying-” 
“oh? you're not? I'm disappointed in you Yeosang.” shaking your head, you took a bite out of the tart. it was red and slimy in the middle.
you licked the scarlet jelly from the corners of your mouth, not breaking eye contact with the frightened Duke before you. 
“Yeosang, will you marry me?”
~
the baby in your arms had hair the color of sunshine, it lay in loose curls around his head. eyes closed as he happily slept in his mothers arms. 
“what an adorable creature.” Hongjoong’s voice held amusement as he looked over your shoulder at the sleeping child. 
“he looks like his father.” you stated. Hongjoong chuckled darkly, resting his chin on your shoulder. 
“and your orders, little witch?” he purrs, lips brushed against the shell of your ear. voice low and quite as not to wake the baby in your arms. 
“kill King Yeosang. he is no longer of use to me.” as soon as the words left your mouth, a burning pain rose to the top of your spine. 
“very well.” the demon behind you disappeared into the air.
~
every contract with a demon has consequences. your mother’s was you. your disease was incurable, a constant visual reminder of what she had done. so desperate to have a child when she shouldn't be capable. she twisted fate, and the scares of such lived in your skin. 
the kings consequence was his first born son. no, not the prince who died at sea, the first born baby was... emptied by the demon. he had not a physical form, so he removed the child inside and crawled into his flesh. when he returned to the castle, the king was horrified by the face of his own son, now warped and twisted by the demon who lived within him. 
Yeosang’s consequences was his own misjudgment. a shipwreck, the Duke of the Vally or the Duke of the Sea? Yeosang miscalculated. very well, he's a capable man, he’ll simply seduce the princess instead. and seduce you he did. however, lust for power is far greater than lust for flesh. 
contracts and pacts work differently however. 
you would not befall the same consequence as the others before you, for a queen is always the most powerful piece on the board. 
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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a handful of fic recs
so bc im insane, these will be organized by genre instead of group
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Science Fiction 
Residue written by @taetaesbaebaepsae
pairing: Monsta X’s Joohoney x fem reader
sub genres: strangers to lovers, Android au
warnings: vanilla smut, just generally heartbreaking, theres a lot of ways to read the subtext and general commentary in this fic, and they just hurt even more
when I tell you I cried and it took me d a y s to get over this fic, f u c k. the world building is done very well, and after reading and taking days to process this reminded me of how much I love sci-fi as a tool for social commentary. this also made me rethink how to use the idea of “humanity” and what exactly defines it. 
~
Goldstorm and Bug Boy written by @masterninjacow
pairing: ATEEZ’s Yunho x fem reader
sub genres: rivals to friends to lovers, mutual pining, superhero au 
warnings: violence, some slight gore, sexual tension 
this is so fucking cute. it reminds me of my childhood reading comics and the small snapshot stories in kids superhero cartoons. Yunho makes for a Spiderman I really like, less the awkward nerdy boy, and more so the gentle kind and playful man. he's easy to imagine as an older, mid twenties Spiderman, and his almost mentoring relationship with reader I really enjoy. 
Horror
I'm yours, you're mine written by @wildernessuntothemselves
pairing: Stray Kid’s Felix x fem reader (x Chan)
sub genres: heavy smut, yandere, psychological horror
warnings: !NON CON!, BDSM, murder, public sex, heavy dom/sub dynamics, abuse (physical and emotional), stalking, cheating, I'm 100% positive there is more I'm forgetting
honestly if you like yandere, or things like Killing Stalking you will probably enjoy this fic. the horror is mostly pretty slowburn until it kinda hits you all at once. I literally knew how it would end from the very beginning yet I STILL found myself gasping with a hand over my mouth when everything is revealed. 
~
Twilight written by @foreveryouaremystar
pairing: ATEEZ’s Mingi x fem reader
sub genres: enemies to lovers, royalty au 
I am stretching this fic by putting it in this category but I do think the first couple of chapters fit 
warnings: abusive family, adult content 
I'm the biggest sucker for Mingi in royalty aus, but this one focuses on him as the son of a conqueror king. theres some subtext I like about what it means for a kingdom to be “taken over”. Mingi isn't written as the usually awkward fluff ball, and it focuses well on his intimidating air and high intelligence. 
~
[17.25] written by @lettersfromaphrodite
pairing: Stray Kid’s Changbin x fem reader
sub genres: vampire au, prostitute au
warnings: BDSM, smut, switch!Changbin 
this is lovely if you are looking for a sexy spooky vibe. I adore this authors work and this is a not so guilty pleasure of mine. 
Slice Of Life
Fall Season written by @star-lemonade
pairing: A.C.E’s Sehyoon x fem reader x Byeongkwan 
sub genres: non idol au, polyamory, LGBT+ 
warnings: smut, threesome
wow this fic makes me soft. especially the relationship dynamic of reader and BK. as a queer person reading Sehyoon and Byeongkwan’s dynamic in this fic contrasted to Sehyoon and readers dynamic really pulled on my heart stings. both our male leads here are bi in this fic and reader has to overcome their own biphobia in their character development and I think its written well. 
~
All In written by @tenelkadjowrites
pairing: ATEEZ’s Mingi x fem reader
sub genres: best friends to lovers, fake marriage au
warnings: drinking, smut, size kink
this is exactly what the summery says, and its perfect. please drink responsibly. if I had any notes for the author it would be: you made me cry with Mingi’s confession at the end and my lawyer will be contacting you-
[17.59] written by @lettersfromaphrodite
pairing: Stray Kid’s Jeongin x fem reader
sub genres: royal au, strangers to lovers, found family
warnings: emotional abuse, assassin reader
LITTLE BABY PRINCE JEONGIN I would die for him. hes so fucking adorable never speak to me again. this fic is sad as fuck in the beginning but don't worry it has a happy ending
Mis. Series
so I wanna shout out these series from these two authors really quick
@i-see-thevision ‘s Stray Kids Heaven Or Hell
genres: various
summery: each story depicts a SKZ member as either a demon or an angel, and follows their relationship with each of their readers. 
my personal favorites: Jisung and Changbin
~
@lettersfromaphrodite ‘s wereworlf x witch Stray Kids series
genres: soulmates au
summery: each member of SKZ’s pack finds their mate, who each happen to be witches. a coven and sisterhood is formed among the wives of this pack of wolves.
my personal favorites: Felix, Chris, and Jeongin
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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Okayyy this is bothering me so im gunna post about it
❕DO NOT MENTION A SPECIFIC SKIN TONE, HAIR COLOR, OR HAIR TEXTURE IF YOU ARE WTITING x reader❕
if you want to write a character with a specific race or ethnicity please create an OC for your story! But DO NOT call it x reader
And please state weather your fic is fem reader, masc reader, or gender neutral 💖
I may make a lil post about some tips and tricks for writing gender neutral x reader fics in the future, but for now this was bothering me
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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Cutting Edge
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pairing: trickster! Hongjoong x surviver! reader
summery: dead by daylight au
words: 1.2k 
warnings: gender neutral reader (but one masculine word is used for them bc most of Korean uses gendered language ), violence, gore, murder
notes: I wanted to use actual Korean in this since Ji Woon (Trickster) does in the game, buuuut my knowledge is limited and trying to write anything gender neutral in Korean is very difficult if you are a beginner to the language. 
*동생 [dongseng] : literally translated to “younger sibling”. something you would call a friend younger than you. 
** 미친놈 [mi-chin-nom] : profanity. literally translated to “crazy bastard”. 
you covered your head as the generator groaned and sputtered. cursing under your breath you quickly regained your work until the broken-down generator hummed to life. you grinned triumphantly, before you felt a sinking feeling in your gut. 
racing to your feet to went to dash away, but cried out in pain as a dagger embedded itself in your shoulder. 
a horrifying giggle was heard, far too close for your own comfort. you dashed off as fast as you could, the sound of footsteps followed close behind you. 
the manic laughter never stopped, neither did the knives. one, two, three, four, you dodged them as best you could. two found their mark, embedding themselves in your back. 
you let out a scream of pain as a large bat struck your shoulder, knocking you to the ground. 
the world fuzzed around you as your head filled with the cutting pain. dizzy you crawled away as best you could, knowing what awaited you. the man stepped on your back, shoving one of the knives deeper into your muscle as you screamed. 
his giggling only turned too full, cruel laughter. you shoved with all your strength, catching the man above you off guard. you rolled to your side and hiked to your feet, shoving your attacker hard enough to stumble. 
scooping up an abandoned dagger on the ground, one now covered in your own blood, you turned on him, rage in your eyes and pouring in red ribbons down your back. 
“FUCK YOU!” you screamed, stabbing the knife in his bare chest. 
he yelled in pain and shock, but grabbed your wrist, still holding the knife embedded in his chest. he dragged you closer against him, madness in his eyes. 
“you’ve still got fight in you huh? good. I’ll make a murder of you yet.” the words danced on his tongue with a foreign pull. 
recall buzzed across you mind. Kim Hongjoong, ex Korean idol turned serial killer. after the tragic death of his group he began torturing and murdering people, recording them and using it his producing. you'd heard his music, he was talented. what a shame it was waisted on a psychopath. 
wait, make a, murder out of you? 
you hesitated too long.
the bat came crashing down on your skull. your world pulled black as it felt as though your head split open like an earthquake. 
when you returned to your senses you found yourself slung over his shoulder, humming happily to himself. you tried to struggle but your body was too broken. 
he giggled, tapping your ass with the side of his bat. 
“hush now my 동생*, i’ll see you again later~” your head spun as he hoisted you above his head, a hook piercing through your shoulder, holding you there by your shoulder and collarbone. 
you screamed in agony, swinging at his head with your arms and legs in a desperate attempt for revenge. he just grinned, your blood painting his shoulder, mixed with his own skidded over his chest. he giggled waving you goodbye as your world slowly turned black. 
~
when you saw him again, was in a yellow field. dead grass and abandoned farming equipment scattered around. crows cried above you, the trees hung with slaughtered pigs. 
you'd watched two other survivors hung from the hooks. one generator left, and by the sounds of the screaming, your killer was distracted. 
the generator sputtered, blowing smoke in your face. your fingers were raw and scared, lungs burning from the gas. 
the screaming stopped. you were the last one left. footsteps, run. 
run, run, run. you bolted away, generator be damned. you still had hope, if you were the last one, the hatch would be open, allowing you escape into the inky black mist. 
your lungs burned as you bolted towards the tree, corpses hung like Christmas lights from the branches, dead grass stained deep red below. you could see it, the wooden hatch waiting black mist pouring from the corners. 
a yellow coat dashed from your vision. Hongjoong, grin wide as ever, kicked the door closed. laughter loud as he watched the hope fade from your eyes. 
“my favorite 동생* is back!” he sung happily. you darted out of the way of a plethora of knives. 
you'd had enough.
a small scythe rested against a rock, rusted, the wooden handle splintered. rage burned in your blood. you wouldn't die today, not again. never again.
you ducked down, scooping one of his knives and placing it in your boot. with that, you too the broken scythe in your hands, blood dripping down your hands from the splinters. 
Hongjoong raised a brow as you let out a yell, sprinting towards him. his laugh died in his throat as you hooked the half moon blade around his shoulder, pulling as hard as you could. the rusted blade tore through his yellow coat, causing a yell to fall from his lips as it yanked through him not long after. 
“미친놈**!” he swung his bat at your head, but you caught his arm. 
“try again, fucker.” you spat, cracking the side of the scythe against his wrist. he yelps, dropping his bat. you reached to try and hook your blade around his throat, but he steps away, burying a blade in your stomach. you gasp at the stabbing pain, gritting your teeth. he twists it in your gut, before kicking your knees. 
you fall to the dirt, and Hongjoong kicks the scythe out of your hands. he laughs manically as he retrieves his bat, raising it over his head. 
“you impress me!” he spat, his own blood now dotting the ground. “maybe you’ll be more successful next time~” he cooed. 
before his bat could come down on your head, you pulled the blade from your sock, darting up as the bat came down, the blade on the side burins itself in your shoulder, and the blade in your hand buried in his neck. 
Hongjoong sputters, shock in his eyes. you grit your teeth, and drag the dagger across his throat, watching the horror in his eyes as you cut him open. the crimson river pours down his bare chest as he tries to gasp, but only a horrible wheezing sound occurs. 
“a real shame you waisted that lovely voice.” you growled. he falls to his knees, the bat in your shoulder falling away as you hissed. 
Hongjoong stares up at you as the life slowly drains from his face. he continues to make wheezing noises, wether attempts at speech or screaming you didn’t know. but finally as the color disappears from his skin, a large grin paints his face. 
“you fucking psychopath.” you growl down at the corpse. 
the sound of a loud and low hum begins, the ground cracking in colors of red and orange. blank mist begins to gather at your ankles.
today you win. you didn’t run away. you didn’t make it out. today, you won. but, at what cost?
~
when you awoke, you were on a street. abandoned cop cars, suburban houses, and hooks instead of light polls.  you felt something heavy in your hand, looking down, you found the scythe. now polished and gleaming in the moonlight. 
you heard as a generator hummed to life, watching as four survivors scattered, running away in fear of the killer sent to hunt them.
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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Hey! Hi, I'm so sorry if this disturbs you but I really need help finding this one fanfic I read on ao3 ages ago but I cant remember what it was called. Its ot7 a/b/o monsta x post no mercy changkyun centric and really angsty and that's all i remember 😩 any help would be appreciated thank you-- I love your blog 💜💜
I don't really ready ao3 fics so I have 0 clue, but if anyone else does signal boost!
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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If you’re still taking scenario requests can you do a dragon hybrid Seonghwa? Idk if that counts as a hybrid but if not bunny Hwa is good too ☺️
this isn't what I was looking for for hybrid aus BUT I really like this idea so I'm tweaking it a bit (if you'd still like a bunny!Hwa pls send another ask! I have a couple of cute ideas but idk if you wanted fluff or *adult content*)
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the stories of young maidens snatched away by winged beasts were classic children’s tales in your village. warning for kids to stay by their parent’s side and omens to keep teenagers from meetings with unapproved lovers in the woods. while most lost such a superstition into adulthood, you still believed in such creatures. why? you’d seen one.
or rather, you saw something you couldn’t explain.
a young man, hair the color of stone, with spots like a lizard’s scales, rippling in the sunlight and moving like well crafted armor. and his eyes, slits like a snake as he looked up at the torn cloak in the tree. most of his body bare before you eyes. perhaps you'd be scandalize by the mostly nude stranger, but you were to captivated. 
that had been over a year ago now, the man with skin like a dragon still crossed your mind. digging through scrolls about the creatures. all you could find that fit his description was an old curse. a priest wrote of such curse, they called it “Medusa’s blessing”. 
you spent a night in the woods, slept under the tree you saw him beneath. you told no one, they would think you mad. and you knew you would almost surely become another story of someone lost in the forest to never return. 
awoken by a soft melody, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, pulling your furs closer around you in the cool night air. 
between the trees, you saw a figure, wrapped in a dark cloak. he sung gently, voice carried by the night breeze. you listened to the story in his song. 
he sung of a young man, beautiful and desired. he sung of a selfish father, who used his son to gain favor and money. he sung of a deal made against the boy’s will, one that left him hurt and used. he sung of a society, who only valued him for what he had do give, not who he was. he sung of a curse, an act against vanity, they told him. and he sang of freedom. 
the song made your heart ache in your chest, leaving a bitter sweet flavor on your tongue. 
finally the figured finished their song. they lowered the hood of the cloak, and you found yourself looking into the eyes of the same young man. the one with dragon’s skin. 
“you shouldn’t be out here in the cold. you could freeze to death.” he warned, standing maybe five feet from you. 
“it was a life I am happy to loose in exchange for your song.” you replied. 
the man tilted his head in curiosity. 
“... I will not be bothered by the cold, but I know of a place that is warm and hidden. come, and I will show it to you.” he gestured for you to follow him. 
and so you did, furs pulled tight around your frame as you walked in silence through the wood. he could be taking you somewhere to kill you, but he could have just as easily killed you at the tree. 
you found yourself deep in a hidden cave, lit by landers and small campfires. the walls glowed in the darkness, but the large cavern was warm and safe, like a blanket for a sick child. he lead you to a bed of furs, telling you to rest. 
“you will be safe here. nothing wishing to harm you will find you.”
“you do not wish to harm me?” you wondered in a sleepy daze. 
the dragon man chuckled, the deep sound reverberated off the sparkling walls and left you wrapped up in his voice. 
“no, I have no desire to hurt you little one. for you, are just like me.” 
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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If your fic is longer then like 1k or even at 1k maybe PLEASE use the "read more" option on Tumblr ohmygod
!And if you tag random groups that have nothing to do with your fic, youre an Asshole!
AND IF YOU DO BOTH OF THESE YOURE AN ✨ASSHOLE ✨ AND I HOPE YOU STEP IN A PUDDLE OF WATER WEARING SOCKS AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOU CRIMES
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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Mayhaps a big doggo hybrid Yunho? Soft or angsty whatever you’re feeling hehe
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You had been scared of big dogs since your childhood. The only ones you recalled from your younger years being strong and loud and aggressive. Barking at you or shoving your small kid self over to skinned knees and bruised palms. Needless to say you were not fond of them now in your adult life.
So upon your first meeting with Yunho, you were very intimidated, and admittedly a little frightened. He was a playful sort with his friends, with a deep voice and large frame.
He could easily shove you over or even break your bones if he wanted to. Now of course that was a bit irrational to worry about. he was polite, kind, and gentle with you, but the fear still crept up your throat.
Yunho was very aware of how frightened of him you were, and at first he felt horrible. He didn't want to scare you, had he done something wrong? It was only when the pair of you were left alone in a parking lot, waiting for your mutual friends to arrive that he finally asked.
"I know you don't like me much... And im sorry, i dont know what i did wrong but if theres anyway i can fix it or make you feel more comfortable-"
"You didnt... You didnt do anything." you sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself as you leaned against a concrete column of the parking garage.
"Then... Why are you scared of me?" he asked. "Youre not scared of the other hybrids, ive heard you talk about us, stand up for us... So i just thought you hated me."
"I dont hate you at all Yunho. Ive just-" and here it was, every flintch every time you hear a dog bark. It all came spilling out. You confessed to your childhood experienceses, the nightmares that resulted from it, and how far you've tried to run from it as an adult.
Yunho listened, attention devoted to yoy and your story. He didnt interrupted, didn't look away, he only held out his hand when the irrational fear became to much and you began shaking. You paused, looking down at his hand, before looking up at the canine man before you.
"Let me... Let me protect you. I cant change the past but i can help you heal." his deep voice was soft, gentle as he spoke to you. You whiped your eyes with your sleeve, and took his hand.
Yunho pulled you into a hug, wrapping his much bigger frame around yours, he smelled like trees and open air, mixed with something much deeper and earther. His sweater was soft as you fisted your hands in it, burying your face in his chest.
From then on, Yunho became your guard dog. Always going out of his way to be soft and gentle with you, slowly helping you overcome your fear, until one day, where he can rest his head in your lap and let to scratch at his ears, laughing loudly with his friends as they play.
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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OnlyOneOf as witches; Junji's familiar is for sure a cat✨And since he's an Aries, I can see him being into pyromancy😌
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“Mars! Get off the stove before you light you lil bean toes on fire!” the long haired man scampered into the kitchen, scooping the feline into his arms. the tomcat was not amused, letting out a very disgruntled meow in response. 
Junji let out a sigh as Mars began gnawing on his forearm, not hard enough to break skin but enough to show his annoyance with being disturbed from his troublemaking. 
“you stupid cat, what was I thinking letting Rie talk me into manifesting a familiar.” the young man grumbled to himself, letting the cat jump from his arms to the floor. Mars let out a hiss, causing Junji to roll his eyes. “yeah yeah hiss-” 
his eyes widened when he realized Mars’s bushy tail and hiss was not directed at him. instead, Junji caught a glimpse of a dark figure in the corner of the kitchen. Mars let out another yowl, eyes small slits as he bared his teeth at the crouched shadow. 
“shit-” Junji’s heart raced in his chest. had KB’s wards been compromised? 
Mars then pounced, another ragefull yowl coming from the tomcat, charging at the shadow. Junji went to scoop the cat in his arms, frightened of him being harmed, but instead the creature bolted. moving in a flash far too quick for Junji to process. 
a flash of yellow and white fur chased the creature out of the house. Mars hissing at a window. Junji scooped up the cat in his arms, smiling as Mars leans up to lick at his jaw. 
“maybe you're not so bad after all fuzzball.”  
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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So i have some bullet points i want to do, but im lacking any good ideas, so im opening requests!
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Pls send in a request with any member from the groups below, senario ideas or any small details would be lovely but not required
OnlyOneOf as witches
OnlyOneOf as hybrids
ATEEZ as hybrids
A.C.E as witches
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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libido by onlyoneof and queer representation
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Back when BTS' Holiday Dynamite Remix MV came out, we struggled a lot with notions of queerbaiting in Kpop. What does it mean to queerbait in Kpop, and is it even possible given that it's a term generally applied to fiction, where a creator has control over the arc of a character's life? The consensus (I'm generalizing) seemed to be that yes it's possible but we can't paint a broad stroke across Kpop with this term.
Taken at face value, the separation of Jimin and Jungkook, and their cute interactions, linked them to the celebration of Christmas as a couple's holiday in South Korea. If we assume that was the intention, which we can't confirm because it hasn't explicitly been said, the HDR MV was some G-rated, wholesome homoromanticism. BTS has never been a group that uses overt eroticism, nor have they engaged in anything remotely queerbait-y. Instead, they've supported queer artists in their own ways. It's hard to believe they'd start now with a new brand of homoromanticism.
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What I've been wondering is if there is more queer representation existing in mainstream Kpop, and whether it overlaps with the audience's ideas of fan service. Of course, Holland exists as the only out gay idol in all of Korea. Yet, he's sidelined because of prejudice, unable to perform in the arenas that other groups do. And fan service is a very murky term; at times it seems to detract from art and reduce onstage performances to simple tick-box exercises aimed at titillating.
Enter Libido by Onlyoneof. You may have already seen gifs of this performance and thought, wow Kpop's up to its old tricks again. Well, what if there were a bigger message? And what if some of the old tricks were actually subversive, to begin with?
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In the Libido video, gay relationships are depicted. They aren't suggested; they are clear as day. And, a BDSM-inspired dance routine that is, indeed, very homoerotic is the "center stage" performance. There's no room for questioning here; this is queer.
The dance was choreographed by the members themselves. In case you wanted to worry, they're not minors; they're all fully grown adults. And, there's verbal acknowledgment as to what the video is depicting. This style of concept is not new to Onlyonof, from what I've read. According to fans, their message has been one of sexual liberation since they began.
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So, how can fans write off such concepts, art and performance as "fan service" or "queerbait"? I don't think they should. I've said it before, but I think fan service is a detrimental term that's become overused and almost meaningless for the genre. It's time to let it go and start respecting artists by talking about their art and performance.
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And, I think at some point, it might be worth revisiting certain Kpop performances to look for subversion. What if what was deemed "fan service-y queerbait" was actually a subversive way to infuse a performance with queer under/overtones? Without explicitly stating their intentions, artists leave the judgment up to the audience. And of course, the audience skews heteronormative and makes their feelings known. He did that to titillate and please me! Well, what if he didn't?
What Onlyoneof has done is cast a keen eye on this very issue while knowing, purposefully, creating art that is representative of their worldview. By explicitly stating their intentions and creating art that is undeniably queer, they call attention to those who do the same without stating their intention. In time, there will be a knock-on effect. That's how change starts.
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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Hey just wanted to let you know that I love your writing style and I really enjoyed SMOKEY.
Stay safe and healthy! 😚
thank you! it means a lot and I always appreciate any feedback 
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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SMOKY | Purgatory Within
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Blind! Prince! Mingi x [unstated skin deformity] fem! Reader
words: almost 2k 
warnings: abuse trauma, smut, death
au: crown royal au | moodboard
series masterlist: SMOKY
~
you became more and more concerned for your husband’s behavior as time went on. the young man who had once been so careful and gentle, now stood with a silent rage behind his empty eyes.
however, after you confronted him about his possessive behavior, you watched him break down at your feet.
“p-please... please don’t leave me...” his large frame was once again curled in on himself, shoulders shaking as he kneeled on the floor, hands fisted in your robe. his head was hung low as he begged you at your feet.
“Mingi, what has been going on with you?” you insisted, refusing to touch the man as he tried to bury his face in your lap.
“I can't- I can't let the Duke take you! or your whore of a knight! Please my queen please, take me instead, take everything I have!” the man let out a broken sob as you sighed at his words.
“enough.” you growled, grabbing a hand full of his hair and lifting his head. he yelped in shock, neck exposed to you as his Adams apple bobbed in fear.
“you are to be a king Mingi. you are a grown man, and I am your wife. you are not a little boy to be crying at the feet of his mother.” you pushed the man off your lap and stood. “and you will be a fool of a king if you let such foolish insecurity cloud your judgment!”
Mingi hid his head low, covering his face with his arms.
“I'm sorry! I'm sorry! p-please don't-” his normally deep voice cracked in terror. you stopped, anger at he man before you evaporated.
“Mingi...mingi I'm not going to hit you.” you spoke softly, gently falling to your knees on the floor. his body shook, arms still held to protect his face. “I hope you know, I would never do that.” your voice was sorrowful as you reached out a hand to his head.
he flinched when you touched his hair, but as you began to run your fingers through it, his muscles slowly relaxed. dropping his arms from his face you could finally see the puffiness around his eyes, the cloudiness of the dark pigment stared blankly back at you.
“...do you promise?” he hiccuped, turning his head to try and find the direction of your voice. you cupped the man’s cheeks, pulling his head to face yours. his eyes fluttered shut as he rested his head in your hands.
“oh my darling boy, who did this to you?”
~
Mingi found a small kitten in the garden. a runt, tiny thing. you had thought the bundle of orange fur was some nobles lost purse left out in the rain. he named her Daisy, saying her fur smelled of the flowers when she curled up in his big hands.
You rarely saw the man without her, the small kitten often purching on Mingi's large shoulders.
Your husband still held ribbons of his possessive behavior, however he began to distance himself from you. You rarely saw him now other then in passing on when the pair of you went to sleep at night. He also began neglecting pleasing you, but you assumed he was simply not interested as both of you often went to sleep without any contact.
Now you found yourself facing a different delema. You had always been a woman with a high sex drive, its one of the reasons you had chosen Seonghwa as a concort. However your poor knight had been frightened quite badly by yourself and your husband, and you knew he wouldnt return to you unless you seeked him out.
But you had also made Mingi a promis. One that was getting increasingly hard for you to keep.
"My lady, is everything alright? You seem lost in thought... If there is any responsibilities weighing heavy on you i am more then happy to help however i can!" the young Duke's voice was as sweet as ever.
You sighed, looking over to Yeosang, a man you had been trying not to look at for to long. His hair lay in soft curls around his face, lightened by the many years spent outside in the sunlight. Likewise his skin was warm in hue, tanner then the rest of your court.
You had heard some of the other ladies snickering about him. Yeosang surely didnt live up to some of the standards for desired beauty the royals had. A strange thought flashed in your mind. Is that why Mingi was chosen to be your husband over Yeosang? Mingi's frame was large, an incredibly masculine figure just looking at him, with dark hair and skin untouched by the sun.
Little Yeosang however, had small and dainty hands, with long thin fingers, his features were softer then Mingi's, even his skin looked soft to the touch. And the many years spent as a playmate for his sisters left him with an unthreatening demeanor.
Indeed it wasnt hard for you to imagine him, flowers in his hair, sat on a blanket in the valley, perhaps painting or writing for his own amusement. You shoved away such thoughts as you saw a line of concern crease in his brow.
"My lady..."
"I am sorry Yeosang. Truthfully ive been feeling a bit... Forgotten about in these last weeks. And its left me feeling distracted." you answered him.
"Forgotten... Ah, by your husband?" perceptive as always. You sighed, gase dropping to your tea once more, before nodding.
"Have you tried speaking to him? He has a shy nature, im sure-"
"Hes trying to help." you held up a hand to stop him. "He did not trust me, and hes trying to offer me space to show he does." you clarified.
"... I see." Yeosang chewed on his lip in thought. His lips were a pretty blush color, not as round as Mingi's but plump, they looked soft... Very soft.
You cursed yourself in your own head. His fingers, his lips, youd be lying to deny they hadnt crossed your mind when you bathed. Your hands wandering your own body, head leaned back and eyes closed. Imagining it was Yeosang's long fingers in place of your own as you gasped in pleasure.
You shooed away the maid who came to offer you more tea, informing her it wouldnt be needed. Lust was a vice that would only cause you harm as Mingi's wife. And yet, something stirred in your gut.
"Yeosang, will you come walk with me?" the Duke nodded quickly, standing to his feet to follow you deeping into the gardens.
~
Your husband would be furious. And yet, such a worry seemed to melt away as you let yourself become lost in his touch.
"My lady please, you must be quiet. Or else we shall scandalize some poor stable boy." Yeosang's voice purred in your ear, pressing soft kisses to your neck after speaking.
You bite your tongue as Yeosang let another finger slip inside you. You were right, his fingers were deliciously long, able to reach places within you your own faltered. His hand snaked up your skirts and inside your undergarments, the heel of his hand pressed against your clit, his wrist not forgetting such an important part as he rubbed it gently.
You could almost see stars as he began sucking on your neck, a third finger sliding within you.
"... I promised you, anything you ever needed, i will provide. If its council, wisdom, or even such sinful favors... I am at your service. Always." Yeosang's voice was honey on your skin. You pulled one of your hands up from where they were fisted in his jacket, tugging gently on his hair. He pulled away from your neck, eyes now staring into your own. A look of pride took his features, seeing the state of pleasure you were in at his hands.
Tugging his hair again, you let a small whine fall from your lips. He chuckled, increasing the pace of his hand, and before a moan could fall from your lips, he covered them with his own.
~
That night, cheeks finally faded with the glow of what yourself and the Duke had snuck away to do, you crossed paths with a guard.
“your highness! just who I was looking for~” dread pooled in your gut as you saw Hongjoong, cheerful grin on display, with a small kitten in his arms. Daisy shook like a leaf, eyes slit to spite the darkness of the hallway.
you opened your arms and Hongjoong placed the small cat in your hands. Daisy immediately pressed herself as far from Hongjoong as she could, a small hiss let out in his direction.
“how rude. if it wasn't for me she would have been stuck at the top of a lamp. ungrateful feline.” he huffed. you began to gently stroke the cat’s fur, in hopes of calming her down.
“an animal as small as this knows when it is in the jaws of a predator.” you stated. Hongjoong smiled, and your stomach dropped. humans are so stupid. Hongjoong is known as a cheerful and smiley person, but yet the cloud that follows him hides the nature of his grin. a wolf does not offer you a smile, he bares his teeth as a warning.
“and yet your little prince is so blissfully unaware of what he is toying with~” Hongjoong giggled. you simply blinked back at the creature before you. “you know, your fondness for that Duke will upset him. but if you wanted a straightforward solution-”
“I am not a fool like the other idiot humans that reside here.” you growled.
“oh no, absolutely not. but, witch, neither am i.” you narrow your eyes at him.
“I could have you hung for accusing the future queen of witchcraft.” you threatened. Hongjoong lay his head back and let out a hearty laugh.
“that would be a sight! do you really want to see what happened if you try and kill me?” Hongjoong stops himself before he begins laughing again. “actually I believe I know that answer. regardless, my offer still stands. just as our deal already does.”
“deal?” you feel panic rise in your throat.
“why yes, the silent one of course.” Hongjoong grins that same one that appears in your nightmares. the one that pulls his cheeks up and shows just a few to many teeth.
“you don't tell them what I am, and in exchange, I do the same.”
~
you awoke the next morning, without Mingi. his side of the bed was cold, and even Daisy had gone missing. you thought little of it as you rose to begin your day, however, you were not greeted by one of your handmaidens, but rather, a guard.
“your majesty, I come bearing news.” he swallowed nervously.
“oh? at this hour?” you inquired. you were then greeted by a sorrowful meow, Daisy crawling between the guards legs and hiding under your nightgown.
“your husband, Prince Mingi, was found dead in a poll of his own blood last night.”
~
who killed the king?
suspects : Yeosang | Seonghwa | Hongjoong
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cloudycrystalkpop · 3 years
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OnlyOneOf libidO
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