#the darkling x you

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

hysteria

kinktober, day twenty-eight

a/n: look, we already know that I'm a nerd when it comes to medical history, so this really shouldn't come as a surprise. only thing surprising about it is how fucking long it took for me to finally write this kinda fic, damn, because this fantasy is ancient.

summary: “miss, I’m afraid to inform you that you have hysteria.”

warnings: doctor!aleksander morozova x innocent!reader, smut, dubcon, historical au, medical kink, time accurate sexism, fingering, sex toys (vibrator, fuck machine), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, size kink, squirting, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, creampie, overstimulation

word count: 1607

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Eyes glued to the clipboard in his hand, doctor Morozova quietly read up from the list of symptoms he had just scribbled down, “…unmarried, insomnia, increased nervousness during social interactions… miss,” he then lifted his obsidian gaze and told you gravely, “I’m afraid to inform you that you have hysteria.”

“I-I do?” 

“Yes, I’m terribly sorry,” he laid the papers down on the desk before him, “seems like your womb is not where it’s supposed to be and that can cause all sorts of problems as you can see by your symptoms.”

Fingers weaved so tightly in the fabric in your lap it nearly broke through, ruining your dress, your panic began to bubble out, “what should I do, doctor? Is there a cure?”

“There is,” he nodded, subtly raising a hand up to soothe your nerves, “the way to relieve this disorder is by causing something called a hysterical paroxysm,” he informed, abruptly redirecting his stare down upon the woodgrain of the tabletop, “now, usually, if a woman is married, the husband is to perform the treatment, but since you’re not,” his eyes flickered back up to find yours, “I’ll help rid your body of this ailment.”

“Really? Thank you,” you gasped, “what, uh, what does it entail?”

“Oh, it’s simple enough,” he waved a casual hand, “you just rid yourself of your undergarments and lay down on the exam table for me.”

“I-…” you blinked, eyes wide before you swallowed, “…alright…”

Getting up from the chair opposing his desk, you walked around the flimsy partition set up in the corner. Reaching under your dress, you timidly pulled your underwear down your legs, past your stockings and off. Folding the garment in a neat little bundle, you settled it on the small stool that stood back here before stepping back out from behind the cover. 

Now settled at the bottom of the exam table on a seat, he gestured for you to get up onto the slab before you apprehensively did so. 

“If you would please just put your feet up in these stirrups,” he adjusted the metal legs below you, “then we can get started.” 

As you then shifted, settling your feet into place, your skirts tented and began to ride up, a gust of crisp air kissing your exposed centre and causing your cheeks to heat up.  

Hearing his chair scoot closer, you then felt his touch softly ghost from your knees all the way up your thighs till his fingers were gently prying your petals apart. After taking a good look, he then briefly retracted his touch, unscrewing a nearby dark glass jar, swiping up some of the glossy contents before grazing through your folds once more, the cool temperature of the lubrication causing you to suck in a sharp breath. 

“Sorry, if it’s a bit cold,” he murmured as he continued to smear it in. 

Head faintly shaking, “it’s fine,” you tried just to focus on your breathing. 

Pushing your dress a bit more out of the way, he told you, “just try and relax for me, it will go by a lot smoother if you relax,” his touch then suddenly changed, “now, tell me,” zeroing in and pressing down on your clit in a way that made the office around you go fuzzy, “how does that feel?” 

Blinking down at him, you found that his vision was already firm on you, “I-… I don’t know… how is it supposed to feel?”

“It’s supposed to feel good,” he rubbed a bit harder, “so, does it feel good?”

“I-I guess so,” your vision fluttered back up towards the ceiling, the doctor’s dark eyes being too much to stand, “yeah.”

“Good, good,” his attentive touch then shifted, “now let me just have a feel inside. Deep breath for me,” your lungs expanded at his command, “there you go,” and his long finger pressed inside, gently curving it around against your walls as he examined, “yep, there it is… your womb, it’s in the completely wrong spot,” he swiftly worked another digit in, watching as you stretched around his fingers, “it’s good that you came in now before it got even worse,” pulling back out, he ended the contact with an unnecessary rub against your buzzing clit.

As he then scooted a bulky and mysterious machine over, you asked nervously, “w-what is that?”

“Just a little apparatus that’s gonna help cure you,” he twisted a vaguely phallic shape into place at the end of the device’s long arm. After noticing your startled expression, you felt his warm hand sprawl across your thigh, “don’t worry, love. It’s all gonna be just fine,” lining it up, “just try and lay still,” he turned a switch and the attachment slowly drove into you. 

“Oh my god!” your palm slammed down against the exam table. 

“Shh, it’s alright,” he caught your eye till your body slowly began to give in, calming under his gaze. Reaching his right hand up, he tickled your puff as the gadget slowly eased in and out of you, “you’re doing great so far, just relax for me,” you saw his free fingers sneak down to enclose around the apparatus’s knob once more, turning the speed further up.  

Feeling like you might fall off the table entirely, you panted, “doctor, I think something might be wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, love,” he nearly chuckled, “this is how it’s supposed to feel,” smiling as you let go an uncontainable moan, knees nearly closing as you tumbled over the edge, “there it is, good, good…”

Expecting for the machine to be shut off, the doctor instead pushed your trembling knees aside and conjured a bulky ward-like device that buzzed in his tight grip, the other hand firm on your leg as he pressed the vibrator against your sensitive pearl, “ah! Doctor! What are you-”

“We’re not done yet,” he stated firmly, vision fixated on the mess he was turning you into. 

The squelching of your pussy cut through the loud buzzing of the gizmos, “but it’s too much, I can’t-”

“You wanna get better, don’t you?”

Fists tight in your dress, crumbled at your waist, you let out a shaky, “yes.”

“Then quit your whining and let me treat you,” his stare snapped up as he warned you, “if you keep that up then I’ll have no other choice but to restrain you, is that what you want?”

“N-no,” the overwhelming sensation caused you to tremble like a leaf. 

“Be a good girl and take it.”

When the second wave hit, it crashed into you so fiercely that you let out a lewd scream. 

“There you go, that’s it!” the doctor bellowed as your pussy gushed, crying out around the intense toys, “oh, fuck…” unable to peel his eyes away as he finally turned off the machines, additional juices squirting out as they withdrew. 

Limbs twitching, you hazily asked, “was that it? Are we done?”

Palming himself through his pants, his gaze stayed glued to your weeping core, “not quite yet, miss… that release of excess fluids was a very good sign, very good sign indeed, but we’re not quite done… there’s still more that needs to get out in order for your uterus to align itself again,” your eyes then flicked down to his fingers as they worked at the buttons on his slacks, swiftly freeing something much bigger than the apparatus he had just fucked you with. 

“Doctor?” your eyes grew as he stepped closer, rubbing his tip against you in a way that made your eyes flutter. 

Finally meeting your gaze, he uttered, “please, call me Aleksander,” before thrusting his hips forward, stretching you apart with his cock. Fingers digging into your thighs, he glanced back down and smirked, “I think your womb just needs a little reminder of where its home is,” before he slammed in, all the way, pushing the air out of your lungs as his balls nuzzled against you.

“Ah!”

“Just need to knock at its door a bit to call it home,” the tip of his generous length kissed your cervix with every rough thrust, borderline going too deep as you clambered around him, “that’s it, taking the treatment so well.”

Just as you had thought he had settled on a rhythm, he pulled the rug out from under you by suddenly withdrawing his girth entirely, spreading you apart so that he could watch how he made you gape, only to bury himself completely once again, repeating the cycle over and over, relishing in the way it drove you up the wall. 

“Fucking hell… I can feel it, you’re getting close, clamping around me like a desperate little whore,” he groaned, watching as after a few more breath-taking rounds, your pussy began to weep once again, “oh, there it is,” squirting out every time he retraced himself, “atta girl,” the fullness he then granted you only persuaded more to appear. 

When you were nothing more than a literal puddle in his grasp, Aleksander truly lost control, pounding into your trembling mess before he made it even more so, stuffing you full of his hot cum. 

Low groans still flowed from his lips as he retracted from you for good, the sensation of his seed trickling out of you and onto the exam table nearly going unnoticed from how exhausted the treatment had made you. 

“Was that it?” you asked weakly, “am I cured now?”

Tugging himself away as he caught his breath, he answered, “not completely,” glancing back up at you with a glint in his dark eyes, “I think you’re gonna have to come back a few more times …”

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 

#lea’s writing #kinktober 2023 #the darkling smut #shadow and bone smut #aleksander morozova smut #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #ben barnes smut #aleksander morozova imagine #the darkling x you #the darkling imagine #shadow and bone au #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x y/n #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #aleksander kirigan x reader #general kirigan smut #doctor!aleksander morozova

[kasagia]

My love will never die

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x moon summoner! reader Summary: You knew Aleksander before he was a Black Heretic, a foldmaker. You married him and promised to be by his side through thick and thin. And you never, ever regretted your choice. However, one day, your paths parted in an unfortunate way, and you both believed that the love of your lives was gone forever. After many centuries, you meet again with a man very similar to your Aleksander. And you start to wonder... maybe your love never die after all? Warning(s): ANGST, de@th mention, the reader yearns for Aleksander, and Aleksander yearns for the reader :c I USED FRAGMENT OF THE SONG "Jeg Saler Min Ganger" FROM THE SERIES "LOKI" Nonsense from me: So this is request from @morrigan-crowmwell Thank you so much, I was super excited to write this! I hope this is more or less what you asked for and that you like it.♡♡ I'm sorry it took me soooo long! ♡♡ Word count: 13k

"Aleksander Morozova! You'll be late to meet your mother!" you squealed as he stole another long kiss from you. "We don't have time for this, Sasha." you moaned, when he moved his lips to your sensitive neck.

"Nonsense… I always have time to properly say goodbye to my wife before I leave." he murmured against your skin, sucking on your weak spot behind your ear. He smiled slyly, hearing the sweet moan coming from your red lips, swollen from kissing.

Saints, he could stay in your arms for the rest of eternity.

"As much as your wife loves your goodbyes, she'd rather her mother-in-law didn't wander in the middle of one, looking for her spoiled son."

"This is how you say goodbye to your husband, lapushka? Calling him spoiled and hurting his feelings?" he asked indignantly, hovering over his beautiful wife and looking at her intently. He wanted to burn the view below him into his mind until he was back in her arms again.

"I have been "goodbye-ing" you for three hours, Aleksander. Don't you think that's enough for a 4 day trip?"

"I need at least one more hour to enjoy you." he murmured, placing more kisses on your already-marked neck.

"If Baghra finds us…" you moaned as he bit your neck gently, effectively silencing you, and got out of your head all the reasons why he should go now.

"It would be helpful if you would stop thinking about my mother while I try to kiss every inch of your gorgeous skin. Besides, don't worry about her. She likes you—sometimes even more than her own son, I have to admit. If anything, she'll blame me."

"Don't worry, sobachka (puppy), you'll always be my favourite." you smirked, flipping him onto the mattress of your bed and straddling him, marking his skin with your lips, making sure you'd give him back the same favour.

"I thought we didn't have time for this?" he purred meanly, pleased with your attention.

"Shut up and kiss me, Sasha." you demanded with an equally malicious gleam in your eyes, knowing full well how this would end. Bagra was right. You had him wrapped around your little finger. Which was good considering how many female Grishas wanted to catch his eye.

"As you wish, milaya." without a second's hesitation, he grabbed your cheek and pulled you into a kiss, pinning you back under him on the mattress.

Disappointment, as usual, overtook you after waking up from this beautiful dream. During those few centuries, flashbacks about HIM only became more frequent. Someone should hang that fool who said time heals all wounds. In your case, it only made it worse.

You'd give anything to go back a few hundred years and not let him go alone with his mother on this trip. You didn't even remember why they went to Aleksander's sister.

You had a vague memory of that day, only remembering the morning with your husband and the fragments of the Fjerdans' attack on your village.

But the moment you found out you were a moon summoner will forever be etched deep in your memories.

You helped your best friend's family and herself escape when the men attacked you. You defended yourself using all the tricks and attacks Alexander had taught you, but it wasn't enough against a band of trained soldiers.

Just as he was about to slash his sword at you, you felt heat radiating deep from your chest. You screamed, falling to your knees as light began to emit from you, blinding some soldiers and killing those close to you. The first time you've used the cut and your power.

You escaped with your friend and her brother - the last survivors, and hid in the city, pretending to be siblings who managed to survive the great fire caused by Grisha.

It was hard to pretend to hate your own people and even harder to hide your new powers. But the hardest thing was going through all this without Aleksander by your side.

You tried to contact him, search in every possible way. But the world was different back then. Your attempts in advance were doomed to failure. And you knew it. But your stupid heart made you search for your husband until the end.

And you did. Until the news of the Black Heretic, the shadow summoner, who died while creating the fold, spread across the world.

You mourned Aleksander for a long time. Your life went on, but the wound of losing your husband never healed. And you knew it wouldn't. He was your great, true love. Your end game. It was impossible to let him go, to make place in your heart for someone new.

Time passed, and everything around you slowly changed. Except you. Your friends got old, grey, and wrinkled. And you remained the same as those decades ago. Then you discovered your second curse. You were immortal.

You and Aleksander could have lived together forever if not for Shu Han's and Fjerda's people.

It was the time when you vowed to finish Aleksander's work at any cost. His sacrifice will not be in vain. You were supposed to build a Ravka safe for the Grishas. All you needed was a sun and shadow summoner.

So you waited. At any sign of the sun summoner's presence. You knew Aleksander's lineage was fine. People often spoke of the descendants of the Black Heretic. You've never come close to them. You didn't want to relive the pain that would be associated with being with a member of his family. Aleksander had no children, but his sister probably did; maybe even Baghra found someone - you weren't sure about the old woman's fate.

The past centuries have not been kind to you. But this month was fruitful in terms of good news. The sun summoner has been found, the king of Ravka was ill, and your men were on the trail of Morozova's deer.

And that's how you were on your way to meet Alina Starkov and the descendant of the Morozovas, General Kirigan.

You were supposed to change the world together - in memory of your Aleksander.

~•♤♤♤•~

Aleksander had never been in such a hurry to get home before.

He was so desperate to have you in his arms again that he even ignored all of his mother's taunts, remarks, and other snide comments. All that mattered to him now was coming home to you.

That's why he bravely endured his mother's teasing remarks as they rode horseback towards your cottage.

He was excited, only moments away from returning to the love of his life.

He missed you more than he dared admit to anyone. And he was a little ashamed of how an ordinary woman without Grisha's powers, like you, could have such power over him.

NO. You were not ordinary. You were his wife, friend, lover, support, rock, asylum, home. The only one to whom he entrusted his heart and soul voluntarily and without the slightest hesitation.

And with this gift his sister gave him, Aleksander will make sure you stay with him forever. That you'll live as long as he does. Neither of them, nor he, Baghra, nor his sister knew if this "gift" would work.

But Aleksander would be damned if he didn't try to keep you in his arms forever.

It didn't matter how many times he failed, trying to make you his equal, trying to turn you into a Grisha with similar powers to his. He was ready to do everything for you.

Aleksander sped up seeing your house. In his haste, he didn't even notice that he had lost his mother and that the scenery around him seemed to be getting darker and more frightening.

He practically leapt off his horse and raced to the door, opening it and rushing inside as fast as he could.

"Y/N?! Sweetheart, I'm home!" he shouted, expecting that as soon as you heard his voice, you would come running, throwing yourself into his arms.

But he was greeted by nothing but a terrible, deadly silence.

The scattered things in the corridor made him slightly anxious, but he dismissed his dark thoughts by saying that you were a little mess. However, after he still didn't hear any response from you, he started to worry.

He entered the living room only to find shattered furniture, an overturned bookshelf, and a broken window.

He panicked. He went mad with fear, screaming your name and running around the house like crazy, looking for you or any clues to where you might have run away.

His heart stopped when he found your battered body under an overturned wardrobe.

In the blink of an eye, he got you out from under the furniture and took you in his arms, trying to bring you back to consciousness.

"Y/N, please, Y/N, open your eyes! You can't leave me, not like that! Y/N! My sweet wife, my heart, please open your eyes!" he was shaking you in panic, begging all the saints to prove his dark suppositions wrong.

"Aleksander?" your quiet, tearful whisper both relieved him and broke his heart.

You lived. He hasn't lost you yet.

NO.

He couldn't lose you. He has to take you to the healer.

"Yes, love, it's me. Everything is fine now. I got you. Just stay with me until I get a help."

"You promised to protect me... why didn't you protect me, Aleksander? Have you stopped loving me?" your desperate whimper tore his soul in half. He began to shake all over, despising the feeling of helplessness and distress that had completely taken over him.

"What? No, I'll always love only you..." he felt your body suddenly go limp in his arms. He gripped your shoulders even tighter, shaking you in his panic attack. "Y/N? Y/N?! Y/N open your eyes! Y/N no! Don't leave me! Darling, no!" he screamed desperately in pain, burying his head in your hair and crying as he knelt on the floor and rocked with your cold body in his arms.

~•♤♤♤•~

Aleksander sprang from his bed.

The general was breathing fast, trying to calm himself after another nightmare involving you.

His beautiful wife. His epic love.

For hundreds of years, the day he lost the only love of his life played out in his nightmares in different ways. This time, his subconscious was kind enough to let him talk to you for a while. Usually, he finds your body either impaled or dismembered. He never managed to save you. With none of those dreams.

His dreams might have macabred the events of that day, but he had never, in all those hundreds of years of his life, forgotten what really happened. He has not forgotten the grief, anger, sadness, and despair that overcame him when he and Baghra found their village burned to the ground without any trace of you.

Despite his search, he still didn't know what really happened to you, and he doubted he'd ever find out the truth. If all this had happened a few years later, if he hadn't been a boy just discovering the true power growing within him then, but the man he is now, you'd never despair like that. You'd never leave him to mourn over the future you two could have if only he was more powerful.

He was trying to fool himself. Telling himself that if you survived, you would have lived a much better life than you'd lived with him by your side. What could he have given you, then? An uncertain future, living in hiding, being hunted by the king's men? You were worth much more. You were worth all the jewels and treasures of this land, safety, peace, family, and happiness. Aleksander couldn't give you that. Not then.

He couldn't remember how many sleepless nights he'd spent wishing he could meet you now, to have you by his side, when he was this powerful man who could look after you properly, who would throw the world at your feet or burn it to the ground, depending on your humour.

But every time the sun came up and he had to continue playing his new role, the bitter reality made him realise that he would never have you again. He will never feel your soft skin under his fingers again, never lose himself in those beautiful, mesmerising irises, never run his hand through your hair, never take in your wonderful, intoxicating scent, and never taste your alluring, feisty lips again.

He was alone. And he will be until the end.

Until he widens the fold and makes sure no more Grisha dies at the hands of common otkazat'sya. That none of his people will repeat your fate.

He was supposed to change the world - in memory of his Y/N.

And then, maybe fate will be kind enough to reunite him with his beloved wife on the other side.

~•♤♤♤•~

Alina Starkov was a pain in the ass.

It took the girl only 15 minutes to run away from Kirigan's Grishas and get herself into trouble. She has damn luck that you decided to follow her and rescue her sunny ass.

You disappeared as soon as you made eye contact with her after you burned the Fjerdans with your pale, white light.

You wandered through the forest, cursing under your breath at the carelessness of both sun and shadow summoners. You didn't know which was worse, the impetuous girl or the thoughtless general who just let her get away.

With helpers like that, you'll have to work twice as hard to make the fold bigger. Fate really had no mercy on you.

You stood by the river, sighing in relief as you washed the blood from your face with cold water.

Your moment of peace didn't last long, however. You sensed an additional presence—someone creeping towards you. You took out one of your daggers and braced yourself for an attack.

But the moment you turned to face your opponent, you froze.

Aleksander...

He was standing in front of you. In a black kefta, a man so like your husband that just looking at him hurts you more than any blade could. This gaze, this face, were hunting you each night, every time you closed your eyes. And now he was standing right before you.

And the worst of it all was that it wasn't your Aleksander.

Only his descendant looking just like him. A shell that resembles the only man you've ever loved.

In your rage, you attacked him first, taking out your anger on him for the saints for continuing to play you mercilessly by putting your husband's doppelgänger in your way.

But Kirigan did not give up so easily. As soon as you moved towards him, he too snapped out of his strange daze and drew his dagger as well. The clang of metal echoed across the clearing as you both tried to find the other's weak spot. Oddly enough, you both did it at the same time.

"Put that down and I'll consider whether or not to spare your life." he growled, holding your arm in a tight grip as he felt your nails digging through the skin on his hand.

"Femoral artery. You'll bleed out faster than me." you replied with a malicious smirk, ignoring his threats.

"Who are you?"

"My mother taught me better than to make friends with the stranger freak in the forest, sir. Especially when they have a dagger dangerously close to my back." you kicked him, pushing him away from you, and attacked again. The clanking of steel against each other echoed across the clearing as your daggers met halfway. You growled in frustration, pushing him away.

"Your mother should teach you not to attack everyone you meet. You may encounter someone much stronger than you." Kirigan recovered faster this time, storming at you.

You ended up in a rather uncomfortable position as you held the steel against his heart and he wrapped his arm halfway around you, pulling you close. You didn't know if you were more dissatisfied with the metal digging into your chest or with his hands on you.

"And yours that you shouldn't raise a hand against a woman. I guess they both failed."

Did you both just say the exact same thing when you first met your husband? Yes.

Will he get lenient treatment from you just because he looks like your Aleksander? Absolutely fucking no.

Taking advantage of his moment of inattention as he stared at you distractedly, you pulled out the second hidden dagger and placed it against his neck. You tried to push his hand away from you, but the man, feeling the extra-cold blade against his skin, woke up from his trance and grabbed your left hand aggressively.

He moved your blade away from his neck and pinned you to the tree, slamming your left hand hard against the trunk, making the weapon fly out of your hand and bury itself in the ground near his foot.

Kirigan pressed his dagger to your side, leaning closer to you. He stared intently into your eyes, and for a brief moment you saw longing flicker in his dark eyes, which then gave way to rage and frustration, equal to the one that exploded inside you the moment you saw him. The moment you noticed that saints still played cruel with you by creating someone so damn similar to your husband.

He has no right to have the same face and eyes as your lost love.

"What. Are. You?" he asked, pausing on each word to intimidate you and bring his face closer to yours. But you didn't care much. You have hundreds of years; nothing, especially the doppelgänger of the man you love, could scare you.

You stared at each other with hostile eyes, and for some reason (other than your dagger at his thigh), he had some sort of hatred for you as well. So much so that he didn't notice how your powers reached for each other where your skin touched.

Strangely, it felt familiar to you. HE felt familiar.

You stared into each other's eyes as you unknowingly leaned in closer. You were about to try to break free from his grip when a sudden snap of branches caught your attention.

"That's you! She saved me from the Frejdans, sir." Alina's voice pulled him out of this strange moment between you two.

You wanted to find a sun summoner. You spent several hundred years on this, but the girl had hellishly bad timing.

Kirigan moved away from you, but you both continued to aim your daggers at each other, not trusting each other for a moment. Even though Alina just admitted that you saved her life.

"Why did you do that?"

"Someone so powerful like you should recognise when they stand before their equal, general Kirigan." you sneered, glancing for a moment at the woman standing next to both of you. Fortunately, nothing happened to her. She had a few scratches, but nothing that even the most ordinary medic couldn't heal.

"And how exactly are we equal?"

You smirked mischievously as you slipped the dagger into your sheath.

You linked your hands, focusing on the warm feeling of your light coursing through your veins, and without taking your eyes off the general's, you pulled them apart, revealing a thread of white light. You spread your arms wider, causing the rays to illuminate the clearing around you.

They both stared at you in amazement as your light turned into stars, which then arranged themselves into constellations. Figures of saints ran around you until you flicked your wrist to make them disappear.

"Melinoe Petrova. Moon Summoner. I think the three of us are going to change the world together."

You watched the speechless Alina with satisfaction, but your smile faded as you shifted your gaze to Kirigan. You had some difficulty reading him, but even more so understanding the longing in his eyes.

It seems your problems with a shadowman have only just begun…

~•♤♤♤•~

Kirigan didn't trust you.

You weren't surprised by it, but you hoped it would be easier for you to manipulate him. Apparently, the descendant of Aleksander inherited family cunning and distrust.

It's been a month since your little encounter (and fight) in the woods. In the meantime, you've been living in the Little Palace with the other Grishas; you met the king and got your own fancy kefta.

Black kefta. With moons, stars, and so on.

You wouldn't care about the colour of the fabric if it didn't turn out that only Kirigan wore one. Bloody Alina was the first to find Genya and get herself a blue one. So you stayed in your black kefta, pretending the general wasn't trying to mark you as his property.

But the son of a bitch liked your look in his colours too much for you to accept it.

It didn't help that he was too much like your Aleksander, either. Many times you've held back from taunting, making snide comments, or yelling at him just because those fucking dark eyes looked at you, taking you back hundreds of years to the time when HE was by your side and looked at you like that.

The similarity between them was not only in appearance. They had a lot in common when it came to character traits. Stubborn, mischievous, prescient, well-read... sometimes, when you spent too much time in his war room, you found yourself thinking of him as your Aleksander.

So slowly, despite all your self-loathing, you fell in love with the general.

That's why you were hiding from him in the library, hoping Alina, Zoya, or anyone else would keep him busy tonight enough to forget that you were supposed to meet him after dinner.

You had to suppress that stupid feeling. He was not Aleksander. He was just your husband's doppelgänger. Just a shell of your lover.

"Mel? Are you okey?" Alina's soft, concerned whisper snapped you out of your thoughts.

"I'm fine. Another nightmare?" you asked, patting the space next to you and opening the edge of the blanket for the girl to sit with you.

Your beginnings with Alina were not colourful; the sunny girl irritated you and could easily throw you off balance. But as time passed, you became friends to the point where you comforted her after her nightmares about the fold and the deaths of her loved ones. Sometimes you would read her old Ravkan fairy tales or sneak into the kitchen for hidden sweets. In more critical situations, you would drag her outside to the gardens, where you would sit on the pier by the lake, watching it gleam in the moonlight.

In a way, you too found solace in comforting the girl. It was nice to have company after being alone for so long. Fighting your past, which was showing up in your dreams, was easier with a ray of sunshine by your side.

"No. This time I can't sleep."

"Are you bothered by overly comfortable pillows, or maybe our princess felt a pea under the mattress?" Alina snorted, shaking her head. It took her some time to realise that your sarcastic remarks were not intended to offend her but merely to make her laugh.

"I'm thinking about Mal."

"Oh yeah… your boyfriend and childhood friend, what's up with him?" you asked, slamming the book shut to turn all your attention to the black-haired girl.

"He's not my boyfriend. We are only friends." she murmured, blushing, obviously awkward at your apt comment.

"Sunshine, I can recognise the face and eyes of a woman in love. You can't hide your feelings from me."

"Well, you're not the only one with this gift. Kirigan also gives you an infatuated man's look. Don't deny it! Even Ivan can see it. I think that already half of the second army knows about their general's fondness for the moon summoner." she teased you with a cocky smirk on her face. You rolled your eyes, returning your attention to your book.

"Please, half of the Grishas look at me like that."

You knew what Alina meant. Kirigan looked to you as the solution to his fold problems - as did the other Grishas. Little did they know that instead of being their saviour, you gonna be their worst nightmare... a White Heretic.

"No, not in that way. They look at you, at us, as saints, as saviours who can destroy the fold. He admires you, not your power. And judging by the fact that you're still wearing a black kefta, he's not indifferent to you either."

You inadvertently snuggled deeper into the black material. Alina was partly right; maybe you didn't want to get involved in any romance, but it would definitely be easier to manipulate the general who is infatuated with you. You could have taken advantage of the fact that seeing you in his colours put him in a strangely pleasant mood. You've used your black clothes more than once as a weapon in your negotiations with the dark general.

"I have a black kefta because some irritatingly fast sun summoner found Genya first and got herself a dark blue one. You didn't leave me much choice, Alina."

"How sorry I am for that. By the way, Kirigan asked about you. He waits in his chambers, longing to finally see you after you've been ruthlessly ignoring him all day."

"I'm not done with you, Starkov!" you shouted after her, but the girl was already at the door, sticking her tongue out at you.

"See you in the morning, Petrova! You will tell me about your meeting with the General." she said as she walked away, slamming the library door.

"That little bitch." you muttered under your breath, wondering if you should go. You could have lied to him and said that you didn't meet Alina and forgot about your meeting. You only doubted the sun summoner's loyalty to you...

However, you started gathering your things, knowing full well that you would have to leave the library anyway.

You frowned as you heard soft footsteps behind you that probably no normal human would have heard… at least not one who hadn't lived at least a hundred years of hiding and running.

"Ivan." you greeted him without turning to face him. The man stopped, obviously surprised that you sensed his presence. However, he quickly returned to his unemotional mode.

"Miss Petrova. The General requests your presence in the war room."

"I was on my way." you replied, knowing full well that the man knew the truth. More than once, he chased you around the Little Palace at the general's behest. Fortunately, he had enough sense in his head not to make Kirigan aware that your memory was reliable and you didn't meet him only out of your own reluctance (actually, a huge desire to see him). "Alina just told me he wants to see me."

Ivan nodded and waited for you to escort you to the war room.

~•♤♤♤•~

Considering the fact that you were a regular visitor to Kirigan's war room, you should know the way to his chambers. But each time, you seemed to take a completely different route than the last time.

Ivan had to repay your elusiveness by making the longest trips to the general's room.

But this time, heartrender quickly dropped you off at his general's door and, wishing you good night, disappeared into one of the corridors.

You sighed, not wanting to face your growing infatuation and subsequent attempts to manipulate the general into carrying out your plans today.

You opened the door, entering the "vestibule". You pricked up your ears as you heard Kirigan talking to someone very familiar. Zoya.

"You used to call on me. On times like this. Your table wasn't messy, and in bed, it was me instead of these books. I can help you make it all right. Just let yourself relax." without knowing why, you wanted to go in there and interrupt whatever plan she had to seduce him. And not because you felt jealousy eating you up inside. You were supposed to be the one to lead him by the nose to do whatever you wanted. Not that windy bitch who was ruining your plan.

"I shall relax when my moon summoner comes here to help me with this. With her by my side, you don't need to worry about me anymore. I'm with the perfect helper." you chuckled internally, wanting so much to see the look on her face after he had rejected her. You figured this would be the perfect time to step in.

"Am I disturbing?" you asked as you walked inside.

If Zoya was an inferni, the general's room would probably go up in flames at the sight of you. Kirigan, on the other hand, seemed very pleased to see you. His eyes were focused only on you. And your black nightgown, over which you threw on (also the black) kefta he ordered.

"Not at all. Zoya was about to leave a few minutes ago."

"General." he said. Kirigan did not even glare at her as she bowed to him. She walked past you, giving you a hostile look, which you only smirked at.

"Didn't you forget something?" Kirigan's sharp question broke the silence between the three of you. Zoya stood immobile, as if engraved. She stared at the general for a moment, then clenched her hands into fists and bowed to you.

"Miss Petrova." she growled, then stormed out of the war room, slamming the door.

"It wasn't necessary. You'll only infuriate her more by forcing her to show me respect." you said, turning to face the general, who was suddenly right behind you. He was the only one who could sneak up on you. A skill he used extensively.

"You're the moon summoner… you'll get all the respect you deserve. I'll make sure about it." he murmured, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"You can't make people do it. Respect is something that has to be earned, something that has no meaning if it is given involuntarily." his silence surprised you. He usually answered your words with 10 of his. But now he was staring at you silently, which didn't help your already fast-beating heart. "So what do we have on the agenda today, general? Arguments about whether we really need First Army soldiers or you don't know where Loavana is."

"I know where Loavana is. I was tired then, and besides, you were the one who turned the map and misled me."

"Of course, general." you snorted, smiling teasingly. You moved to the other side of the table, tactically increasing the distance between you. "So, did you summon me for any reason other than staring at my natural glow? Because honestly, I'm getting a little bored." you said as you sat down on the table and casually reached for one of the orders he had written.

"Always impatient." he muttered, suddenly appearing in front of you and gently taking the paper from your hand.

"Always too mysterious."

"This may surprise you, but I have other things on my mind than your natural glow, little moon."

"What a shame." you murmured, placing your hand over your heart in a hurt gesture. But you became serious when you saw him staring dully at the map. "What's bothering you?"

"The Fjerdans have moved closer to our border."

"How many?" you asked, jumping off the table and turning your full attention to the distressed general.

"Several branches. Enough to get our attention and attack one of our regiments." he replied, pouring himself a glass of liquor and handing you your own.

"We need to speed up Alina's training. Before all hell breaks loose and our great king orders our troops to be divided to fight the Fjerdans. The fold case must be finally closed. Before we go to another war. For now, we have to send some of our healers and additional troops there. If there are more of Grishas there, no Fjerdan will dare attack them. They will shift their attention to the soldiers of the first army, and this will no longer be a direct problem for us." you turned to him, confused by his silence. Kirigan stared at you with a gentle, tender smile on his face and a longing, dreamy look. The silence between the two of you and the gaze he was giving you embarrassed you. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?"

"No." he grunted, shaking his head as he blushed slightly when you caught him staring. "I just... I was fighting this war alone for so long."

This was the moment. You had to cast your net over him, surround him at his most vulnerable, and make him fall for you.

But you forgot to guard your own heart in the process...

You grabbed his hand. Your powers combined as usual when your skin touched, causing you to be enveloped in the utter darkness of his shadows, with only the white light emanating from your joined hands illuminating your faces.

"You're not alone." you whispered, afraid to break the spell between you. Afraid that the moment your voice reaches him, those damn hypnotic eyes will tear away from yours. Afraid your mind is about to scold the stupid heart that beat for the man before you. A man who, for the sake of your sanity, was too much like the husband you loved.

"I've been waiting a long time for you." he replied just as quietly, afraid to break the sanctity of the moment. Afraid it was another of his cruel dreams where he would have your dead body in his arms again. But the reality was even more brutal for him. Because the woman who stood before him, the woman who looked exactly like his wife, wasn't her at all. And that didn't stop his cold, centuries-old heart from beating for her.

"Believe me, not as long as me." you whispered. Tears began to gather in his eyes, threatening to spill out as he raised his other trembling hand and cupped your cheek. The feel of his cold hand on your face made you realise what you were doing. He was not Aleksander. He wasn't yours. And you will never be his. "I think I should go." you grunted, stepping away from him.

His shadows returned to him, as did your light. Everything has returned to normal. Except for the frantic beating of the hearts of the two of you.

"Don't forget about tomorrow's ball. We're supposed to put on a little show for the king and his nobility."

"How could I forget that we're supposed to be circus monkeys tomorrow?" you asked with a pugnacious smirk, to which he just shook his head in amusement.

"Don't let anyone else hear it. I don't want to visit you in a dungeon… however tempting you look in chains." his bold suggestion shocked you, but you decided to play on without giving him a chance to have the last word. You walked over to him and, ignoring his intense gaze, whispered in his ear with your lips brushing his earlobe.

"I'm not that easy to put in chains, general." you brushed his cheek with yours and disappeared from the war room at the speed of light.

It was something you could do. Game, flirt, chase, challenge—all kept away from any emotion other than lust. It was a game. Manipulation game. And you were going to win it. For your Aleksander and other Grishas.

~•♤♤♤•~

Your dress was so beautiful and wonderful. You admire Genya's skills, but what she did for you this time was indescribable.

With trembling hands, you smoothed the fabric of the dress around your waist, admiring the intricate embroidery of the constellations. The white and silver threads shone in the candlelight like real stars on your dark blue dress.

You didn't like getting dressed up, getting your hair up in a fancy hairstyle, or wearing those uncomfortable ball gowns. In fact, you've only worn formal clothes a few times in your life. But only twice did you feel like a true goddess, a queen. Today and on your wedding day.

"Who put that veil on you?" Baghra's grumpy tone snapped you out of your thoughts as you looked at yourself in the mirror. You had a lovely dress, even considering that neither you nor Aleksander and his mother had as much money compared to other families. But it didn't matter. Not for you. The most important was Alexander and you. And not the judgmental looks of other people. It was your day and no one could ruin it for you.

"Myself. Something's wrong?"

The woman sighed as she walked over to you and unfastened it with unusual delicacy for her, mumbling something about your blindness as she adjusted your crooked veil.

"Now. You look almost properly. You're missing one thing."

"Which is?"

She reached into the pouch strapped to her side and pulled out something shiny. She gestured for you to turn towards the mirror. You did it while watching a woman put the most beautiful necklace you've ever seen around your neck.

"Bagra is… it's wonderful. I can't…"

"Yes, you can. And you will be. I won't let that old hag gossip about my daughter looking like a poor peasant on her wedding day."

"Thank you." you whispered in a shaky voice, more concerned that the woman called you her daughter than the ridiculously expensive and beautiful necklace.

"Come on. Don't cry, or you'll turn red and scare everyone, including my son. You'd better hurry up. The boy is about to have a heart attack if you're another minute late. If it wasn't for Ulla, he would have run here 10 minutes ago."

"Did she manage to come?" you asked as she took your arm with the obvious intention of walking you down the aisle.

"Of course. That's my daughter. She wouldn't waste the opportunity to tease her crazy-in-love brother." you giggled, not missing her little smile. The woman stopped right in front of the exit door, giving you a serious look. "Y/N, are you absolutely sure you want this? You know our true origins, my boy's character, and all the dark things our family has been through. Are you absolutely sure you want to join this mess? 'Cause once we walk through that door, there's no turning back."

"I think we both know the answer to that question, Baghra."

"No. I need to hear it. Do you truly want this?"

"I dream of nothing more than marrying Aleksander, and spending my whole life with him, no matter how long or short it may be."

The woman nodded silently and opened the door.

A wide smile appeared on your face as soon as your gaze met the clearly nervous Aleksander. He calmed down the moment he saw you, an equally goofy, in-love smirk playing on his lips. And when he finally had you at arm's length, he didn't hesitate to grab your hands in his firm grip, never taking his eyes off yours for a moment.

It was just you and him. Lost in your love.

And so began your little eternity together... shorter than either of you would have liked.

You'll always remember that day, even if it was associated with bittersweet memories of your all-too-short marriage. A single tear fell from your eye. You wiped it with the sleeve of your dress.

Your hand automatically wandered under your dress, absently stroking the Baghra's necklace to which you had attached your wedding ring. The only memento of your past.

In another life, you and Aleksander could have had it all.

"Little moon? Are you ready?" Kirigan entered your room." We're going... soon." you could see in the mirror how he froze as his eyes met your reflection in the silver mirror.

You turned to him, making a sweeping movement with your skirt. You wouldn't waste your chance to be a diva. However, you yourself soon succumbed to a similar blackout as his as soon as you assumed the general's appearance.

The saints really liked to torment you.

There was no other explanation for why the man in front of you looked almost exactly like your husband on your wedding day.

Aleksander couldn't take his eyes off her. She was perfect. Ethereal, otherworldly, and breathtaking. His Y/N... No. She wasn't her. No one could be her, not even a woman with her face. Which didn't stop him from giving himself to this dream that it was his wife standing in front of him. He spent hundreds of years in suffering; maybe this one night he can afford to live in his most beautiful dreams, where SHE would still be with him.

He cleared his throat, snapping you both out of the strange, nostalgic atmosphere.

"You look amazing." you blushed as you turned back to the mirror, pretending to consider the truth of his compliment.

"Thank you. Genya makes wonderful dresses." you reached for the kefta thrown over the armchair, but the man beat you to it.

"Please, allow me." you nodded to him. You turned your back to him, waiting for him to put the kefta on your shoulders.

He smoothed it out, letting his hand brush the fabric of your bare collarbones for a moment too long. You shivered as you felt the tiny touch of his fingertips on your bare skin. Good thing the kefta covered most of your bare arms. You didn't want to give him satisfaction for how he was affecting you.

But judging by his dilated pupils, you weren't the only one who felt the attraction between the two of you.

However, you will definitely not be the one to give in to such trivial desires. He was not Aleksander. Nobody could.

"Thank you again." you murmured as you pulled away from him, smiling. You preferred to act oblivious to his advances rather than risk giving in to the lust that was evident between the two of you. Although you knew there would come a point in your little game where you'd have to seduce him a bit to lull his guard down. And you feared that moment more than entering the fold.

"Anytime, love. Shall we?" he asked, offering you his arm. "I hope you spare me at least one dance." he murmured, smiling at you with that flirty twinkle in his eyes as he kissed your hand.

Wonderfully. Now he was supposed to be your personal bodyguard for all night.

You sighed, grabbing his arm. Kirigan pulled you closer as he escorted you through the maze of corridors.

It was going to be a really tough day. - you thought, allowing yourself to steal a glance at the general who was already watching you. - Especially with those eyes so focused on me.

~•♤♤♤•~

The Kirigan left you alone for a moment just before entering the ballroom. You were to wait for him and Alina, and then the three of you were to give little shows of darkness and light.

So you waited patiently until someone bumped into you, knocking you to the floor.

"Watch where you walk!" you growled, dusting yourself off as you got up off the floor. The hooded figure stopped and turned to you. You both froze when you saw your faces.

"Y/N?" Baghra asked in disbelief. "It is impossible." she whispered, coming closer to you and catching your hand in a strong, bruising grip, only to grab your necklace later, which had slipped out from under your dress after you fell. She looked at him tenderly, shifting her gaze to you.

"Hello mom." you whispered uncertainly, fearing your mother-in-law's reaction. She liked you, it's true, but in the meantime, you managed to disappear without a trace for hundreds of years. You didn't know what your relationship was like now. But rather, neither of you could be hostile to the other.

"It's really you… But how? I… we thought you were dead, child. Where have you been all this time?"

"A little here, a little there. Forgive me for not writing or coming. I think you understand perfectly well why I didn't."

"Not even a bit, actually." she replied, confused. You frowned. You've never seen Baghra confused. It was a strange sight, to say the least, and definitely worth remembering.

"You know how dear he was... Aleksander is to me. After his death..."

"Death?" she asked. You didn't know if you misheard or if the surprise in her voice was genuine. She rather knew about his death, didn't she?

"Yes. While creating a fold." you explained, looking at her intently. But Baghra's face never betrayed anything. Not any single emotion. She tucked the necklace under your dress and grabbed your shoulders.

"Oh, my dear child. For all this time..."

"Baghra!" Kirigan's scream echoed through the empty corridor. The woman stepped back from you like she was burned, watching the general with contempt as he approached the two of you. "What are you talking about with my moon summoner? I hope she didn't bother you too much, Miss Petrova."

"Not at all. Actually…"

"I was just leaving, moi soverenyi." the woman interrupted you, giving you an enigmatic look, before she turned her back to you two. "Enjoy yourself, Miss Petrova." she threw over her shoulder as she walked away.

"Crazy woman. But he teaches the young Grisha well. What did she want from you?"

"Nothing special. She asked where I was from and what I was doing here. I don't think she's heard of the new moon summoner yet."

"Probably you are right. Let's go. We've got a show to play."

He took your hand gently and led you to the centre of the room, where Alina was already waiting for you.

You had a simple task. Kirigan summons shadows. Alina, on the other side of the room, her golden rays, and you, the white moonlight that was supposed to connect with her powers, then break up into several constellations.

A child's trick and spectacle for the common folk who treated you like toys all rolled into one.

Everything was going smoothly. Suddenly, the room was completely dark. You waited patiently for Alina's light to appear on the other side of the room. When suddenly someone approached you from behind.

"It's okay, it's me. It's just me, you're safe."

"What are you doing?" you asked as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, taking both of your hands in his.

"Don't you think this is the best place to watch the whole show?" his question confused you. You turned in his arms, miraculously seeing those bloody, dark eyes in the darkness. The mischievous sparks both made your chest feel warm and terrified. The bastard was up to something.

"I doubt it; with my light, you'll barely see Alina's trick."

"Works perfectly for me, my little moon." he whispered against your ear. You tensed as you felt his soft lips on your earlobe.

Suddenly he leaned in, the tip of his nose tracing a path from your ear down your skin, sending shivers down your spine as he inhaled your perfume and those damn distracting lips slid from your ear to your neck.

He started placing small, wet kisses there. Your brain has melted. It stopped working while the general was kissing every sensitive spot on your neck. He read your body so damn well that if it weren't for his quick reflexes and his hand over your mouth, your loud, obscene groan would have echoed in the darkness of the ballroom.

You felt the light involuntarily escape from you and thanked all the saints that you lost control just as Alina finished her part.

You tried to push the shadow summoner away from you, but your attempts were so futile (and reluctant) that you quickly gave up, focusing on doing your job with his intoxicating mouth and roaming hands on you.

The son of a bitch was lucky to stay in the shadows, unseen by anyone but you.

You internally cursed yourself for how much easier it was to do the whole trick with him around.

To your great disappointment, he moved away from you just before the grand finale. You were panting, trying to calm your wildly beating heart, and breathing as the light began to take over the ballroom.

And those fucking dark eyes and smug smirk were the first damn thing you saw when you and Alina lit up the room.

People started applauding. Kirigan came up to you and grabbed your hand, and after Alina joined you, you bowed to everyone, gathering an ovation. You glanced briefly at Kirigan, who was staring at your neck. You just hoped he didn't leave a hickey in plain sight. But judging by the way his smirk widened and the way he ran away from you as soon as you were surrounded by a crowd of people, you assumed you had a new, not-so-visible yet bruise on your skin.

You'll kill him as soon as you get your hands on him.

~•♤♤♤•~

You stand in the darkness of his war room, waiting for him to finally appear. You played with the dagger in your hands, contemplating meeting Baghra. You felt something was wrong, something was missing. The woman's behaviour both helped you and, after the general's arrival, gave you a lot to think about. She was hiding something. But what?

you sighed. If only Aleksander was here. It would save you a lot of trouble. Among other things, intimidating his doppelgänger, who started to stick to you too much - much to your tacit approval.

But you were aware that this attraction was only due to his resemblance to your Aleksander. In a few decades, Kirigan will die too. And you will be completely alone again.

The sound of his boots hitting the floor snapped you out of your thoughts. You braced yourself for an attack and jumped on him just as he flanked the door and stepped inside. You pinned him against the wall with a dagger to his neck as he gave you a surprised, amused look.

"Hello, moonlight. Do you like the ball?"

"What the hell was that?!" you growled, pressing the blade against his skin as you made a small, harmless cut.

"You put a dagger to my neck far too often, darling." he noted, frowning as droplets of blood decorated the silver metal.

"Don't change the fucking subject! You have no damn right to act like this. Lay your hand on me like that again, and I'll make sure you don't have anything to summon your shadows with, general."

"So my lips on your incredibly alluring soft skin were no problem for you, my sweet moon?" he asked maliciously, raising an eyebrow. You growled, irritated by his arrogance. You guessed you preferred it when he responded to your attack with his own dagger.

"Do that again, and you won't live to see another moment to find out."

"You forget..." he mumbled, suddenly grabbing your hand holding the blade and wrapping his other around your neck. He pinned you against the wall, making sure there was no space between you two. "That you're not the only one with power here."

"You'd better let me go, little shadow, before you unleash hell you can't stop." you growled, summoning your light, which immediately met his shadows. You fought, jostling with your powers and staring hard into each other's eyes. You weren't going to lose this fight.

"You underestimate me, darling. I'm more than able to face any of your hell."

You didn't know why, but that sentence, the confidence in his eyes, the arrogance in his voice, and the same immense need that was hiding under both yours and his mask of restraint changed something between you two.

His already dark eyes were practically taken over by black pupils that stared at you lustfully. The intoxicating smell of his perfume, the warmth of his body, and those damn big, cool hands on your hot skin only made you accept your spur-of-the-moment decision.

With his hand still tightly wrapped around your neck, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his.

You both groaned in unison. Your only consolation in this situation was that before your hands hooked on his strong arms, holding on tightly for fear your legs would give out, you could hear his dagger first drop to the marble floor, seconds before your blade.

You only broke apart for a moment before quickly removing the other's kefta and catching the other's lips again. You fought for control, biting into the other's lip every now and then, which only met with more resistance and the will to fight. Neither you nor he were made to lose.

At one point, he grabbed you by the waist, wrapping your legs around him as he carried you to the nearest flat surface—the war table. With one flick of his hand, he swept all the maps, papers, and other stuff off him onto the floor and practically threw you onto a wooden table.

You gasped in shock as your body suddenly hit the wood, which Kirigan quickly took advantage of. He dug into your mouth, his tongue grazing yours as he tried to dominate you once again.

You growled, grabbing the back of his black shirt and tearing the fabric to get to his skin, where you didn't hesitate to leave blood crescents in the shape of your fingernails.

He hissed away from your kiss-swollen lips and bit into the same damn spot on your neck where he had dared leave a hickey before.

Aleksander...

You froze. It wasn't Aleksander. It will never be your Aleksander again. No matter how damn similar they were.

Kirigan continued to kiss your neck when you finally decided, with a heavy heart, to push him away with a gentle kick.

You both stared at each other, gasping for breath. Kirigan took a hesitant step towards you and raised his hand to gently stroke your cheek. But you jumped off the war table before his skin could touch yours and start your kissing session all over again.

You had to escape from there. As soon as possible.

"I... I should go." you mumbled, shoving past him to pick up the kefta that had been thrown on the floor by him.

"Wait a second..." he followed you but stopped the moment his eyes met yours again. You both wanted each other. You were both held back by the very same thing that attracted you in the first place.

"We have a hard day tomorrow. Make sure Ivan wakes up Alina; she's not such an early riser after all." you mumbled in panic, backing towards the door.

"Melinoe." he tried to stop you, but your hand on the doorknob was faster. You opened the door, and without looking back, you threw over your shoulder:

"Good night, general."

You ran to your room, and before anyone could stop you, you shut the door. Tears began to flow freely from your eyes as you slid to the floor.

For a moment, a fleeting little moment, you were Y/N again. You were that 20-year-old girl kissing her husband again. But Kirigan could never be Aleksander. And even if you gave him your heart, he would shatter it to pieces over time when he, like other descendants of your Aleksander, reached old age. You were doomed to be lonely. But the fact that a person with eyes, a face, and a mind so like your husband was at your fingertips wasn't helpful to your already broken soul at all.

You just wanted to have your husband in your arms again. Was it so much for the saints to accomplish? You sobbed piteously until you fell asleep on the floor from exhaustion.

Little did you know that a few floors above you, someone was also mourning their dead significant other. And he also cursed fate for putting in his path a woman so similar to the one for whom he would give everything he held dear.

One thing was certain. The longer you stayed in the presence of the other, the more you lost your mind. But neither of you was ready to deprive yourself of the toxic pleasure of seeing the living face of your beloved, lost spouse.

~•♤♤♤•~

As planned, the next day you headed towards the border with Fjerdans. Neither you nor the general spoke to you most of the way, which Alina and Baghra noticed. Yes. Baghra went with you. The general was just as shocked as you, but surprisingly, he didn't argue with the woman about her unannounced presence.

The only thing you were afraid of during this trip was crossing the land where your village used to be. Aleksander's house and yours. It also didn't help that you were supposed to be there on the exact anniversary of his death - the creation of the fold.

You thought it would be easier for you to ride a horse through the only place where you were happy, but the wave of memories flooding you did not allow you to pass by indifferently.

"You'll never catch me!" you run away from him, laughing.

"If I catch you, the game will be over. But since you're insulting my capabilities…" you yelled as you ran away when Aleksander rushed to you.

You ran along the river, looking over your shoulder every now and then to make sure your boyfriend wasn't right behind you.

Suddenly, a cloud of shadows appeared in front of you, from which your Sasha came out and grabbed you by the waist. You thrashed in his embrace, causing you both to fall to the ground, laughing.

"Aleksander! You shouldn't use it in public!" you scolded him, punching him lightly in the chest.

"We are in the middle of the forest. There are only us and some animals."

"Still it is risky for you. Don't make me tell your mother about this."

"Could you please stop threatening me with my own mother?" he groaned, throwing you off him, to which you squealed indignantly. You stared with your daggers at the man lying before you with a mischievous smirk and an amused twinkle in his eyes.

"Since I found out she likes me and trusts me more than you? No, it's too funny, my grumpy shadow-man." you laughed. You rolled your eyes as you watched his expression growl. You climbed on top of him and kissed the crease that had formed between his eyebrows from your comment. "I'm soooo sorry, Sasha. You know how much I love you, right? You're the most important person in my life, Aleksander Morozova."

"And you in mine, Y/N Y/L/N." he murmured, grabbing your cheek and pulling you into a sweet, slow kiss. You purred, enjoying the feel of his lips on yours - something you'll never get tired of. He pulled away from you far too quickly. He licked his lips, looking at you nervously. You raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "Y/N... can I ask you a question?"

"Right now? I thought you gonna kiss me a little longer, but if it's so important." he chuckled, shaking his head, as he leaned down to catch your lips in a kiss again.

"Happy, lapushka?"

"Not really, but I'll try to survive a few minutes without your lips on mine." he chuckled, but you knew from the features of his face and the gentle clasping of his shoulders that something was bothering him. You just hoped he wouldn't have to leave with his mother again... "What did you want to ask me?" Aleksander cleared his throat, taking your hands in his trembling.

"You know that I love you. I can't imagine how my life would have turned out if you hadn't put that dagger to my throat five years ago right here."

"I knew I recognized this place from somewhere." you cut him off, looking around the clearing. Aleksander laughed, catching your attention again as you blushed at how stupidly you interrupted him. But it seemed to help him relax, judging by the way his hand confidently reached out to cup your cheek.

"You make me laugh. Even on the darkest, worst of days. Just one look at those wonderfully beautiful eyes is enough to completely change my mood. One word from you and all my plans and beliefs fall into oblivion. You are the light in my darkness. The only good thing that happened to me. The only person who isn't afraid of what I can do. The only person who looks at me with such adoration despite my shadows."

"You know I love them. I love all of you, Sasha. Nothing will change that." you replied with tears in your eyes, suspecting what his confession would lead to.

"I know I have nothing worth you and that the life I can offer you is nothing compared to what you deserve, but you know me better than I know myself... I would go crazy if I wasn't the only man who has the privilege of seeing your face first thing every morning and falling asleep in the presence of your beauty. I'd go crazy if someone else could be called yours..." Aleksander took a simple gold ring with a small black gem from his pocket.

You gasped, knowing full well how much money he must have spent on even such a simple engagement ring. Baghra was supposed to skin your fiancé when she figured out what he wasted their money on.

"Sasha..." you whispered, crying, moving your gaze towards him.

"Y/N, kei onolich yash (will you marry me)? Will you be my wife?" too moved to answer him, you pulled him into a kiss. You both smiled like idiots. "I'm guessing it's yes then, but I'd rather hear it from you before I tell everyone else."

"Yes. Yes, I will marry you, you idiot. You didn't have to buy me a ring, Sasha. I would say yes without it."

"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't reject me." he replied with a mischievous smirk, putting it on your finger. You huffed and punched him lightly on the shoulder. The ring sparkled in the moonlight. Your face hurts from smiling. "I promise you, Y/N one day I'll give you the prettiest, flashiest ring in all of Ravka."

"And I will still prefer the one you gave me today." you replied without a second of hesitation, pulling your fiancé into another kiss.

The Kirgian ordered a stop, which everyone accepted with gratitude. And when others Grishas dispersed to their tasks, you decided to go to the place where your house and Aleksander's once stood.

Since you were already a stupid girl, as Baghra so nicely called you, this little trip shouldn't hurt you. You'd rather be stupid and crazy—completely mad from love—than ever forget about Aleksander and move on.

And that's how you got here. By the river, close to the place where you used to be the happiest in the world, and now you were shedding a sea of tears over the life you lost.

"I will build you a palace."

"What?" you asked, giggling as you looked away from the stars to your husband lying next to you on the grass.

Sensing the movement of your head, he turned around to look at you closely. You both loved nights like these. Your hands intertwined as you both lay on the ground looking at the stars and talking about your day, your plans, and your dreams. It was a sacred ritual between the two of you that you performed at least once a week.

"A palace. For you and our future children. A safe place where we can live with our little family."

"Sasha... I don't need a palace to feel safe with you. You are my shelter. My protector. What we have now is more than enough."

"That little hut where we barely fit in with our stuff, even though we don't have much anyway? NO. You deserve all the treasures of this world, Y/N" he murmured, stroking your cheek tenderly.

You sighed, pressing your cheek against his hand, enjoying every ounce of his attention. It's been getting more and more dangerous around here lately. You seldom had time to spend together; you were too busy with the Grisha needing your help. But you didn't mind. As long as Aleksander's eyes gave you that loving, adoring look at least once a day, you were ready to face anything to get back into his waiting arms.

"I already have one." he raised an eyebrow questioningly, looking at you in surprise. You just smiled, pulling him to you by the chin and connecting your lips in a kiss. Aleksander rolled over and hovered over you, not breaking your tender kiss. You placed your hands on his cheeks and gently pulled him away, looking into his eyes. No stars in the sky could match the brilliance of his dark irises. "You are my treasure. With you by my side I want nothing more. You're all I need to be happy, Sasha." you mumbled, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. Aleksander buried his face in your hands, closing his eyes for a moment and surrendering to this tender gesture.

"You deserve much more, milaya. And I promise, by all the saints and stars in the sky, I'll give you the world."

"Everything in time, Aleksander. Now, kiss your wife and show her how much you love her." you giggled as his long hair tickled your cheeks as he dutifully caught your lips in another sweet kiss.

"Was he really worth it?" Baghra's question cut through your sobs. You wiped your tears, not wanting to cry in front of her, and turned to face her. "Wouldn't you rather curse him for creating a fold and for leaving you than mourn the bastard that was my son? Y/N, child, you have eternity ahead of you. An eternity where you can be happy. Is Aleksander worth wasting it?" you laughed bitterly, knowing the answer to her question all too well. Nothing has changed over the centuries. And you knew nothing would change your feelings.

"You know very well that I will never know happiness again. Not without him. I've never done that in all these years."

"There had to be a moment. Even the smallest." she tried desperately to convince you. You dropped your head, remembering those few moments between you and Kirigan in Little Palace.

"There was. Next to a man who looked like him. But after a while, it dawned on me that he would never be Aleksander. Call me and think about me however you want. Pathetic child, crazy woman… But the truth is, I loved your son, Baghra, and I will always love only him. Our hearts were created by the saints as one and divided in two, placing one in Aleksander and the other in me. There is no one in the world I could love like him, with whom I could be truly happy. This type of love never dies, Baghra. Even separated by a grave."

"What if you got him back? If he was with you, but he wasn't the same man you remember?"

"It wouldn't matter. We are all changing. I know I would love him as much as I did then."

"I just hope you know what you want, child. And that maybe he'll go back to who he used to be because of you." she sighed, leaving you alone with your grief. You frowned, analysing her vague words.

It wasn't until it started to get dark that you got up from your knees and brushed the dirt off your clothes. You were about to leave when the crunch of branches caught your attention. A foolish hope rose in you and you lifted your head, only to meet your eyes with the Kirgian.

"General. I was just returning to camp." he nodded his head without a word.

Taking that as your cue to leave, you turned to take one last look at what used to be your home. You sighed tremblingly as a lone tear rolled down your cheek.

And you whistled.

It was a fragment of an old Ravkan song about lovers returning home after a long journey to throw themselves into each other's arms, longing for separation. You and Aleksander adored it. And you decided that every time one of you left home, you would whistle that particular verse that stuck in your mind.

In storm-black mountains, I wander alone

Over the glacier I make my way

A cool breeze caressed your hot (from crying) skin. But the goosebumps that formed on your arms weren't from the cold at all.

"In the apple orchard stands the maiden fair and sings, When will you come home?"

You froze. Incapable of anything but breathing. You misheard. It's just one of your stupid fantasies, your mind playing tricks on you, or another cruel dream about how you got back the man you loved. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be real.

But the man holding your arm in a tight grip and turning you around to face him felt very real. AND ALIVE.

"Sasha?" you whispered tearfully, shaking all over, and if it wasn't for his strong grip on both of your arms, you probably would have fallen to your knees in front of him long ago, unable to do anything other than stare hopefully at the man in front of you.

Aleksander's heart shuddered and threatened to burst as the pet name, unused for hundreds of years, reached his ears. In an instant, you were on his chest as he hugged you with all his might. With your ear to his heart, you listened to his beating, and for the first time in hundreds of years, you cried WITH HAPPY.

"It's me, milaya. My sweet Y/N, my moon, my heart, my wife. It's me."

You heard him through a haze, too intent on his eyes to understand anything more from his speech. It was him. Your Aleksander. All this time. He was saying something to you, but you completely ignored him as something gold around his neck shimmered in the moonlight. You pulled the chain from under his jacket, sighing as you saw his wedding ring hanging securely on his necklace. A sob of disbelief escaped you. It was really him.

His hand cupping your cheek caused your watery gaze to shift back to those dark, beloved eyes.

"No more tears, milaya. You do not have to worry. From now on, I will never leave your side again. Not for a single bloody second."

And that was enough for you.

Grabbing his hair, you pulled him closer to you to feel his lips on yours as soon as possible. It wasn't one of those soft, gentle, unhurried kisses that lovers share after they meet after some separation.

It was intense, desperate, and needy, expressing your deadly longing for each other's lips through those painful years without each other. You didn't have the strength to hold back, to pretend you didn't miss that exact feeling all those lonely nights.

It didn't matter that your tears mixed and you could taste their salty taste on each other's lips. It didn't matter that your lungs were burning for air. It didn't matter that you had already fallen to your knees, too shaken by the feeling of the other's lips, but both of you longed too much for this closeness between you to deprive yourself of the warmth of the other's body even for a millisecond. It didn't matter if your lips were too swollen to decently go back to camp and pretend nothing had happened between you two.

You sincerely doubted that you would be able to take even a step towards the camp. Not after you trembled in Aleksander's lap as his hands caressed every inch of your skin.

But the moment came when you had to pull away from each other, cursing the need for air. You rested your forehead against his, inhaling his scent and clinging to his kefta to be as close to him as possible.

You both knew that there was no way you were going to be an arm's length away from each other. And you were seriously considering sticking with him permanently. His dark cloak looked big enough for you to hide under it too.

You couldn't believe your luck. He was here. With you. You had his arms around you again as you both clung desperately to each other.

Your Aleksander. Your husband. Your loved one. Your heart.

He had you again. His wife. His soulmate. His sanity. His equal. HIS EVERYTHING.

You wanted to pull away for a moment to look at his face again, but something tugged at your neck, bringing your head to Aleksander's shoulder. You looked down. Your necklaces are tangled.

"Seriously? It couldn't have happened a month ago?" you groaned as you tried to untangle your chains. You smiled, hearing how your husband laughed carelessly for the first time in centuries, since the day he lost you. "We'll never hear the end of it from Baghra, you know about it Sasha?" you asked, resting your forehead against his as you gave up on releasing the two of you. It didn't matter that everything was against you again. At least now you finally have Aleksander with you. YOUR real Aleksander.

"She had already called me a blind fool before she made me come here. I think we'll hear a lot from her about our stupidity." he murmured. You shivered as you felt his fingertips on your neck as he untied your intertwined necklaces effortlessly. He unclasped yours and, with great delicacy, placed the ring on your finger.

"Remind me to thank your mother for making you come here later." you replied, making sure his wedding ring was on his finger as well. Maybe you won't scare all the bitches away from him, but at least you'll make it clear that he belongs only to you. After hundreds of years without him, you have the right to be territorial.

"Later?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't think I'm going anywhere other than your tent and your bed right now, do you?"

"Our bed." he murmured before grabbing you in bridal style and heading for your tent. "By the way, I must commend you for how bravely you resisted the charms of someone who wasn't me. I barely managed to kiss you properly before you pushed me away."

"I don't know what I should do to you. Slap you for groping someone who had my face, or kiss you for only being attracted to my beauty."

"You have to admit, you didn't resist me much back then, my little saint." he murmured, kissing you again. He ran his hand through your hair, pulling you all the way onto him so he could feel your weight on him. You were with him. Body and soul. And it wasn't a dream. "Let's go to that tent before I have my way with you here and now." he muttered, getting up.

"Wait." you grabbed his hand. He turned to you, giving you a questioning look as he found you still kneeling on the grass. "Before we do anything. We both agree that we are not going to destroy the fold, right?"

Aleksander held his breath. He forgot how damn perfect you were. How you fit in and understood him in every way. And only the slight ounce of control he had left was keeping him from lunging at you right now as you kneeled in front of him with those beautiful, mesmerising eyes staring at him.

But after all, Aleksander was only human. A man whose cruel fate separated him from his beloved wife for many centuries…

He pulled you close to him in one swift motion. You crashed into his chest, completely unprepared for the sudden movement, but his intoxicating lips on yours compensated for your shock.

You moaned into his mouth as he pulled away from you so as not to lose his control completely.

"Saints, you have no idea how much I've missed you, my little moon."

"I'll take it as a yes." you replied, giggling as he put his arm around you. As you'd guessed, you fit perfectly with him under his cloak. You sighed, intoxicated by his scent.

"You know so well that I'll do anything for you. The fact that our plans coincide only proves that we belong to each other. And only to each other."

"Always, Sasha. I'm yours for eternity." you replied, smiling slightly as you turned to steal a glance at him.

"And I'm yours for the rest of our lives and beyond." he murmured, kissing your forehead.

You practically ran through the camp, ignoring Baghra's knowing, malicious look and the shocked expressions of Alina, Zoya, and Ivan (at which you giggled, causing Aleksander a small, tender smile) and Fedyor's smirk. You entered his tent, laughing as you started kissing while taking off each other's clothes.

"I hope you realize we don't leave this tent for at least a week?" he asked as he laid you down on the bed. However, the bastard didn't wait for your response, stealing a kiss from you.

"They'll be looking for you, Sasha." you mumbled between your kisses and grabbed his cheeks to make him focus on something other than your lips.

"What a pity I'll be too busy with my wife to notice anyone else but her." he lowered his head to your neck, making your hands tangle in his hair. You sighed, feeling his tongue on your skin just before he gently bit you.

"I thought we had a battle to win." he suddenly stopped all his movements. He intertwined your ringed hands and cupped your cheek with the other, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"My little moon, I'll postpone any goddamn war for you. There is nothing in this world more important to me than you and never will be." he promised, pressing his lips to yours.

You moaned, enjoying the long-forgotten feeling of his skin against yours as well as knowing that your love would never die.

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x y/n #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #the darkling #general kirigan x you #darkling shadow and bone #darkling #the darkling x reader #darkling x reader #the darkling x you #shadow and bone #alina starkov #angst #love #oneshot #kasagia #aleksander kirigan #kirigan x reader #baghra morozova #lost love #angst and fluff #darkling x y/n #darkling x you

[chibipeachu]

Painful Petals | Aleksander. M

A/N: Its based off that one tik tok audio Warnings: softer!aleksander? Fem!Reader WC: 1485

Part two

You smiled at genya as she fiddled with your hair.

“What is it?” She questioned with a small, tired smile. “I’ll miss this with you genya…” She tilted her head to the side curious at your words.

“You’ll just be moving rooms after the fete, not like you’re going away….you’re not leaving, right..?” She questioned.

“No, but it’ll be a bit different around the palace after tonight..” You trailed off, thinking of a certain newly found couple in the little palace that included your husband.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

As genya walked out of your room and towards Alina she ran into aleksander who paced around the halls.

“Ms Saffin.” He greeted.

“General.” She nodded back. As she went to turn into alina’s room she stopped in front of the doors and turned to aleksander.

“Is lady kirigan alright?” She questioned, making aleksander raise his head and look at genya with an unreadable expression.

“Why do you ask?” 

Genya shrugged.

“Just seemed off this morning.” She said before walking into alina’s room to get her ready for the fete.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

You looked at your dress with a heavy heart, it wasn’t your husband’s black, it was a dark green gown. 

Tears fell as you looked over your closet and noticed the farthest item in the back being your wedding kefta. 

You sighed before wiping away the tear and closed the closet doors before walking towards your bed and opened the nightstand.

WIth shaky hands you pulled out an old journal, you flipped through pages til you found your desired page.

“Hanahaki Disease | Death do you part.” 

Your tears fell down your face as your felt a dreadful cough crawl up your throat.

It had begun before alina had arrived to the little palace, when aleksander hid his affair with zoya from you. 

You noticed in the beginning you delt with weird petals in your coughing fits, you had panicked and ran to a healer where they claimed you as fine.

The second thing you took note of was when you had coughed up flowers buds and thorns mixed in.

When you had discovered the journal you had been tempted to hide it away, it wasn’t till you had hard time breathing properly you went back to the journal to read the rest, you had learned of your condition and kept in silent, it was already hectic with the new sun summoner around.

You had brokedown when you found out the outcome of your illness, you had grown to accept your fate, who knew possibly the saints were going to reward you for being brave by dealing with the illness by giving you a loving life in the next.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

You smiled as you greeted guests who passed by you.

“That’s general kirigan’s wife, poor thing hasn’t got a clue..” Two ambassadors gave you pity looks as they noticed zoya walking by aleksander who spoke ivan and feydor.

“Saints, bless her..” They whispered as you excused yourself to walk over to aleksander.

“Gentlemen.” You greeted, making them turn to you and greet you back.

“May i steal him away for a bit?” You questioned, your arm looping aleksander’s for support.

“Of course, lady kirigan!” You smiled and walked yourself and aleksander to the nearest balcony.

“You look nice tonight, aleksander..” You smiled as him as you let yourself go from his arm and held onto the balcony railing.

“You as well.” He looked around the balcony and noticed your gaze on the dark sky.

“I still remember when you snuck us out to see the stars..” You chuckled to yourself.

“You remember that?” Alexander asked, surprised.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

“I don’t we should be doing this, what if we get caught by someone, we don’t have a chaperone..” You rambled as aleksander helped you onto his horse. 

“Well, i’m their general..” He tried to argue back.

“Oh my bad, you’re the general, that changes the story now!” You both laughed as he had the horse trott through the forest.

“Where are we even going?” You questioned, looking around at the passing trees.

“You mentioned, the palace grounds were always to lit to see the stars.” He turned his head to see your embarrassed expression.

“You remembered?” You smiled as he slowled the horse down and helped you get down.

“Why are you surprised?” He chuckled as you looked at the sky with a wide grin.

You both had sat on the grass and watched the stars for a bit before your spoke up.

“No ones snuck me out of my room to show me stars, thank you aleksander..” You turned your head to him where he smiled at you.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

“Had a hard time explaining why I had grass stains on my nightgown..” you both laughed at your words.

Before aleksander could say anything else, ivan came to tell aleksander of the lantsov’s.

“If you excuse me..” You grabbed aleksander’s kefta sleeve.

“Before you go, i just wanted to tell you, that you were a wonderful husband experience..” you smiled, sadly at him.

“Thank you, now i must go greet the lantsov’s.” 

You left go of his hand with a heavy sigh, you quietly stood out on the balcony, weeping at your upcoming fate.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

As you walked into the palace you watched as alina and aleksander do their demonstration.

You felt your stomach twist as you caught the way he stared at her, it was how he looked at you during your wedding.

Without anyone noticing you had ran to your new room, all of your things had been put away and set in their correct spots.

Finally being alone in your room, you broke down.

You cried over the lost of your marriage, your husband and soon your life.

You had questioned why the saints were torturing you by the thoughts of your husband with alina or zoya.

A rough cough came out of your mouth, bloody rose buds fell out of your mouth along with petals and thorns.

You gasped as it got stuffier in your lungs to breath properly.

Your eyes watered as you fell to your knees, giving up as a rose blossomed out of your throat, choking you out.

Your times with aleksander fled your mind as you laid on the floor, accepting your fate.

He was a wonderful experience.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A scream from down the hall made alina and aleksander jump from their position on the war table.

As the pair tried to brush it off a rapid knock on the doors made aleksander sigh and moved away from alina to answer.

“Yes, what is it?” Aleksander was taken back, it was a tearful genya and sorrow looking feydor who stood in front of him.

“Lady kirigan…” genya broke down as she tried to explain it.

“We’re sorry…lady kirigan has..passed on.” Feydor explained, aleksander stood up at the news.

“Excuse me?” He questioned. 

The pair lead him to your room, where the servants had laid you in your bed, ivan watched over with a pitiful expression.

Aleksander walked over towards your bed and noticed the curtains surrounding the bed were drawn closed.

He drew back the curtain and froze at the sight of your body. 

There you laid, lifeless. A bloody rose blossomed out of your mouth, ivan had been the one to shut your eyes to let your rest.

“What happened to her?” He questioned, his hand running to your hand were is was barley warm anymore.

“A servant found her on the ground with bloody flower petals and thorns around her..” Ivan explained.

Aleksander kept his eyes on the rose. “Everyone out.” He commanded, his voice wavering a tad.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Once the door had shut, he let tears fall as he held your hand.

“I had just seen you hours before, you were fine..what happened?!” He ranted, shaking your hand, hoping for you to stir and tell him it was a cruel harsh joke.

Memories of you played in his mind as he held your hand to his cheek.

“You look nice tonight, aleksander..” You smiled as him as you let yourself go from his arm and held onto the balcony railing.

“You as well.” He looked around the balcony and noticed your gaze on the dark sky.

“I still remember when you snuck us out to see the stars..” You chuckled to yourself. It was nice to hear your laughter again.

“You remember that?” Alexander asked, surprised. It had been years since. 

“I had a hard time explaining why I had grass stains on my nightgown..” you both laughed at your words.

Before aleksander could say anything else, ivan came to tell aleksander of the lantsov’s.

“If you excuse me..” You grabbed aleksander’s kefta sleeve. 

“Before you go, i just wanted to tell you, that you were a wonderful experience..” you smiled, sadly at him.

“Thank you, now i must go greet the lantsov’s.” He rushed off, unbeknown to him, it would be the last time he left you behind.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

“You were, my everything.” He whispered quietly.

#the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x you #general kirigan x you #shadow and bone x reader #aleksander morozova x reader

[padfootagain]

Hold My Hand Instead of His

Hello everyone!! We're answering a request for my event today!

Here is the first request coming from two anons, actually, who have requested the same tropes: “Hiya! Can I request The Darkling Soulmate AU with an arranged marriage trope? But the reader is meant to get married to someone else? Can have a little bit of jealousy if you wish. Either that or enemies to lovers you choose” and “Hi carooole!!! Congrats for 6k!! I'm so happy when I see you on my TL again i've been following you since 2020 aaaa

I would like to request The Darkling, Soulmates AU and Arranged Marriage please !🫶

I hope you're having a good day and congratulations again <3”

I love this idea of an arranged marriage with someone else ifoeofueuojeji that’s amazing. I hope you like what I’ve written for your request, anon! <3

Hope you all like this. Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: The Darkling x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff; I’m distorting canon rules of Grisha magic to apply to a Soulmate AU I hope you like it

Summary: You are engaged to the Prince of Ravka, through an arranged marriage, in order to pacify relations between Grisha and otkazat’sya. The issue: Nikolai Lantsov is not your soulmate, and you are torn between duty and love.

Word Count: 3554

The Darkling’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

What could happen if the world were to be devoured by shadows?

Sometimes, as you laid down at night, staring at the shining stars and moon, you asked yourself this question. Would it be the end? The beginning? The continuation? Would anything change?

You felt a little too lost in your life these days to be afraid of the shadows, of the blindness they carried. If you were so lost, weren’t you alone already?

Besides, these were his shadows. If anyone else could fear the dark because it was his, you felt the opposite.

Your gaze turned from the window to the door on the opposite wall. Why were you chosen to marry the prince anyway? Granted, you were a powerful Grisha, but there were others who could have done it, why did it have to be you?

You knew that Nikolai Lantsov was not your soulmate. There was no wonder about it. As a Grisha, your soulmate would be easy to detect: a simple touch and your powers would be amplified. A surge of power matching the rush of a heart. You had touched the prince before, had felt nothing. It wasn’t him…

Actually, you knew who was your soulmate. You had touched him once, without meaning to. While he was asleep, after a long day spent on a battlefield. You can see it all over again: the dry blood still tainting his forehead, the quiet of his breathing, the calmness on his features. He seemed so innocent then, so different from the man who had used his shadows against the world mere hours before. You remember as well the water you had been carrying to his tent, the reason for your presence in the first place. Because of course, you were a powerful Grisha, but he was The Darkling, a general, a leader, unreachable. You remember, though, the light shiver that shook his frame, the blanket that had fallen from his chest during his sleep. To this day, you didn’t know what had come over you that night, putting down your bucket of cold water, gently holding the blanket to cover his long frame once more. And it was an accident, really, a mere miscalculation of trajectory, when you brushed your fingers against his. And you remember the surge of power shaking your entire frame, making it hard to breathe, igniting every cell in your body. The sudden knowledge of your powers beating in your muscles at the same rhythm as your heartbeat. It was so strong, you could barely control your powers enough to not burn him, feeling flames surging to your hands. You were certain that the warmth escaping through every inch of your skin was warming the entire room. It felt like you could have burned the entire world…

It had taken you a long time to finally accept the truth that was revealed that night: the Darkling was your soulmate. Amplifying abilities could only happen between people bound by true love and fate alike, and that cold night spent on the verge of Fjerda, you had revealed an unbelieving truth. The Darkling was your soulmate. Your one true love.

Even now, you contemplated this fact with a tinge of bitterness. He was the Darkling, and you… it would be absolutely impossible for the two of you to be together. Now more than ever. You had been chosen to marry the prince of Ravka, it would strengthen the Grisha, protect them… you had worked hard to protect your people, you couldn’t abandon them simply because you were being a silly romantic. This wasn’t about love. This was about duty and the need of your people. Besides, it could have been worse. Nikolai wasn’t a bad man, marrying his brother would have been much closer to martyrdom.

These were the words you repeated yourself over and over again, every night since the announcement. And they were sensible and logical, but they did not prevent the aching in your chest, the tears at the corners of your eyes, or the urge to run across the Little Palace to the Darkling’s War Room to tell him the truth and beg him to take you away…

You closed your eyes, the world even darker than before. Against your eyelids, you painted his tall frame wrapped in his shadows, the dark of his infinite eyes, the sot beard on his cheeks. It was useless though, and terribly childish.

After all, how could the Darkling do anything against your union with Nikolai Lantsov? He didn’t even know you were his soulmate…

You didn’t know that he was your soulmate, and it was slowly killing him.

The Darkling looked at you now, dressed in the finest silk the kingdom of Ravka could offer. Your hand resting on Nikolai Lantsov’s arm, gloved in white fabric. He was showing you off, the bastard. He was playing his part in this political plot a little too well, took too much pleasure in parading with you by his side. And you were so unlike your true self. Too pliant, too obedient, smiling too politely. But Aleksander knew who you could be, this other side of you. The one covered with blood, the one burning like the flames ignited by your fingers and palms.

The Darkling was being ridiculous, and he knew it. He had worked too hard to reach this position, over the long hours of centuries, he had crafted his myth, his image, his power, his influence. And Nikolai Lantsov marrying a Grisha was a central part of his plot, it was vital, actually. It was a new step towards the throne…

But you… why did it have to be you?

He was being ridiculous, and he knew it. He had abandoned the idea of an everlasting love such a long time ago. Centuries ago. He had built an armour around his heart, he had grown as ruthless as his shadows, he had grown too determined to be drawn off-course by sentiments.

And yet, as he looked at you now, at the way you leaned against another man, he wanted to destroy the entirety of Ravka and the world beyond too, if need be. He wanted to tear the fabrics of the universe apart, and scream against the night sky.

The Darkling was selfish, and he knew it. And yet, his selfishness was always directed towards the same goal he had been pursuing for centuries, for lifetimes… he could not simply yield now. Of course he wanted you, you were connected by a power stronger than the Small Science he used as weapons and shields. Still… still he couldn’t simply yield, it would ruin everything.

Aleksander remembers, though. He remembers that afternoon, the clouds of smoke rising from the broken earth, the screams, the irony taste of blood in the air. He remembers looking for you, though he didn’t know why his instinct made him look for your frame across the battlefield. And yet, every fibre of his being was screaming at him to find you. He remembers the beating of his heart and his shallow breathing, the pain of his own wounds making his head spin. He remembers catching the colour of your hair there, lying in the dirt, his gaze moving to your closed eyelids… He remembers the sudden fear that shook him, even though he didn’t know why he felt that way. Because you were, of course, a powerful Inferni, he suspected that you were unusually gifted, and yet… you were just a soldier. Why was he so upset? He had seen thousands of people dying, thousands of his soldiers falling… why was it so different now? He remembers the way he had stumbled as he rushed to your side, falling by your side more than kneeling. Your still frame, your peaceful expression, you looked like you were merely asleep. He remembers too well the slow movement of his own fingers towards your throat, pressing against your pulse to feel your heart, and the surge of power that coursed through his frame, ignited his blood, sparkling every cell of his body. Such an overcoming beating of power in his heart, he didn’t control the shadows that sprang from his frame, that gathered from all around the two of you to cover both of your frames. He didn’t control it. He knew at once what it meant though. And his shadows pulsed, at the same rhythm as his own heart and, as he noticed your pulse, as your heart as well.

Two hearts. One heartbeat. Soulmates…

Aleksander looked away, focusing his dark eyes on the drink in his hands instead of your frame. This surge of power he had felt, unbearable, uncontrollable, too wild to be tamed… he knew what it meant, of course. When he was young, and naïve, and stupid, he had spent long decades looking for it. The reason of his failure then was obvious now. You did not exist yet, you were born centuries apart… how cruel the world could be, making him wait for so long, only to snatch you away…

The Darkling was being ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. For longing for you so much it hurt, for seriously considering walking over to you and lie about a need to see you alone, and kiss you in the safety of his shadows, with your back pressed against a wall and your skin under his palms…

But was he so ridiculous? He couldn’t help it, after all. If fate itself had weaved your two lives, your two souls together, how could he simply ignore it?

He could have laughed at himself for being naïve all over again, a boy who longed for a fairer world. Fairness didn’t exist, it wasn’t in human nature. Marriages had little to do with love at all when they involved the royal family. It was about politics, not sentiments.

But then, why did Aleksander felt your numb body in his arms all over again, the weight of your unconsciousness resting on his forearms as he carried you to safety that afternoon, the shallow warmth of your breath against his neck, as you turned to him and looked at him from across the crowd, catching his gaze with ease?

But then, why did he want nothing but to leave everything behind now, everything he had worked so hard on and had lost so much of his own self to reach, at the mere hope of running away with you?

But you didn’t know he was your soulmate. You were unconscious then, when he had touched your skin, you couldn’t feel the amplification held in his bones for you.

He turned around, his back to you now to relieve the temptation to stare at you for too long. The Darkling was patient, but Aleksander was selfish. Would he hold on, or tell you the truth?

The answer came with the breeze of spring and a kiss stolen by the lake.

It came from you, actually. From the feeling of warm lips against yours, and hands on your cheeks, and the sudden knowledge of a truth you had been pushing away out of duty.

You couldn’t do this.

You pulled away quickly, leaving a rather stunned Nikolai Lantsov behind. You didn’t look at him as you spun on your heels, as you ran away across the grass and towards the Little Palace. You didn’t look back as you spotted the Darkling there, under the trees, speaking with Ivan. You were crying, you realised it only because it made their frame a little blur. Still, you aimed straight for the Darkling, who frowned at the sight of you. He dismissed Ivan with a mere gesture of the hand, and walked towards you.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

You wanted to rush into his arms, but didn’t dare to. Because he didn’t know you were his soulmate, and would notice if you touched his skin…

You were surprised when he held your upper-arm to steady you, though. But he was touching the fabric of your dress, you couldn’t feel the bond between the two of you…

“Y/N, what happened?”

You took a couple of deep breaths. You were being utterly ridiculous. You had fought battles, had killed people, had buried friends… this was a mere kiss, why did it upset you so much?

When you looked up at the Darkling, his expression was unreadable, a perfectly calm demeanour. There was but the ghost of a frown to show that he cared.

Did he care though? He didn’t know…

You couldn’t hold it back any longer. You had to tell him. Because he would probably push you away anyway, remind you of your duty towards Ravka, towards your fellow Grisha, and break your heart for good. And then, perhaps you could accept your arranged marriage with the prince…

“I can’t do it,” you let out in a breath, shaking your head. “I am sorry, but I cannot do it. I can’t marry Lantsov.”

The Darkling’s frown deepened, he leaned a little closer, his eyes searching yours, digging their way into your mind and heart until he could peer right into your soul.

“Did he hurt you? What happened?”

“He didn’t hurt me, he…”

You took a shaky breath, closed your eyes tightly for a moment, trying to release the words and hold back a sob.

“He kissed me.”

When you opened your eyes again, fell back into the gaze as dark as the shadows they summoned, you couldn’t read through them. Aleksander had clenched his jaw, but he was still as unreadable as ever.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do it… I can’t marry him…”

“Y/N, calm down. This is important.”

“I have a soulmate.”

His lips parted slightly, but he remained silent, frozen in expectation. His hold on your arm tightened, it was the only movement he made until you spoke again.

You wondered where your strength came from as you finally confessed the truth, you didn’t think you had it in you. Even if your voice was but a weak whisper, the words were let out, audible and clear, lifting a heavy weight from your shoulders and heart.

“It’s you. You’re my soulmate.”

You shook your head, eyes begging for forgiveness, even if none of this was your fault in the first place.

“I’m sorry. I… one day I touched you without meaning to while you slept, just… just your finger and… I felt it. The amplifying. And I… I didn’t tell you, because I know that you are focused on your task concerning Ravka, that this is not your priority, that you probably don’t even care but… You’re my soulmate. And I can’t marry another man, I simply can’t. I’ll fight as hard as I can, I’ll risk my life, I’ll kill and do whatever needs to be done, but as a soldier. Please… please, help me. Help me not marry him. I cannot marry someone else when I love you so deeply. I am not asking for anything else, I simply…”

Your voice died down as his hold on your kefta tightened, becoming almost painful, the hold unforgiving.

His stare was even more intense now, if that was even possible. You read hesitation in them, something you had never seen before on him…

His eyes fell from your gaze to your mouth, intense and holding you hostage, making your heart jump and crash against your ribcage. When his eyes flickered back to rest on yours, he was out of breath as he spoke.

“I know.”

You could only stare at him, stunned. You could feel your heart shattering…

“Do you remember when you were wounded in the South? About a year ago?”

Slowly, you nodded.

“I am the one who found you, unconscious, lying among the dead. I checked your pulse.”

“Oh…”

The ghost of an amused smile tugged at his lips.

“’Oh’, indeed.”

Slowly, you nodded. Because he knew, and yet he had done nothing to prevent this marriage.

“I thought you didn’t know,” he went on. “I thought it was better that way.”

“Because I must marry Nikolai to help the Grisha?”

But he was too earnest in his answer, his hand slowly rising to your cheek, but he didn’t touch you. Instead, he let his hand hover over your face, close enough to feel the heat of your skin, but still away, unbearably so.

“Because I do not want to have weaknesses. And loving you would turn you into a weakness.”

Again, you nodded, although you were more lost than ever.

“I can’t marry Nikolai,” you breathed again, the tears coming back into your eyes.

“If you do not, Ravka will be endangered, and Grisha more than anyone else.”

You looked down at your feet, the weight of duty too heavy on your shoulders now, despite the strength in them, the endurance of a soldier.

Aleksander could not bear the sight. Beyond duty, your frame was crushed by another burden he knew only too well, after carrying it for so many centuries.

Loneliness…

If he caved in, you would never have to be alone again, and neither would he…

Slowly, he closed the space between your two skins, his hand coming to rest on your cheek, guiding gently your face upward to look at him again. And the power that coursed through your bodies now was so intense, so overwhelming, that you couldn’t help the flames that sparked in the air all around you, and he couldn’t master the shadows that twirled around your frames. Fire and darkness mingled in a whirlwind that covered the world, made you escape from it. It was a strange dance on your features, the burning lights of flames dancing with his shadows in your eyes…

The decision was easy to make.

He leaned down before you could move, or speak, or master your powers again. Only when his lips moved over yours, when you lost yourself in his touch, when he melted under your palms and pressed himself against you, did your powers calm down. You felt the warmth of the sun against your face instead of the heat of flames, the constant light of the distant star painting your eyelids red instead of the unsteady black of his twirling shadows. And there was no thought left to be thought, no breath to be drawn, no duty to cave under. Instead, there was the passion of Aleksander’s kiss, the gentle tug of your fingers on his hair, the tingle of his beard against your soft skin. There was nothing in the world but the two of you, feelings overwhelming, and at the back of your mind, still, the knowledge of immense power waiting to be freed.

When you broke apart, both of you out of breath, Aleksander pulled away just enough to look at you again, to capture your gaze with his, making your heart stutter all over again.

“Do not marry him.”

You stopped breathing altogether as the words passed his lips. He slowly shook his head. His hold on your face tightened a little, he moved a little closer, and his voice was dangerously tempting, almost begging, when he spoke again.

“I can take care of this,” he assured you, his tone sounding like a promise. “I can make him back down. We are soulmates, this is our right…”

“But what about Grisha…”

“Lantsov can marry someone else. He chose you because he had a crush on you, he will get over it and choose someone else.”

“Do you really mean that?”

He smiled.

“We are soulmates. Do you not know the answer already?”

And as you stared at him for a little longer, you did. You knew he meant it. You could see it in his dark eyes, in the tension of his jaw, feel it in the way he held you a little too tight, a little too close, a tinge of desperation searing cracks through his perfect composure.

One of his hands let go of you, and he offered it, palm up and open, an offering of weakness and vulnerability.

“Choose me,” he demanded in a breathy whisper. “I’ll manage Lantsov, I’ll get you out of this marriage. We could be together. We can fight. Choose me. Hold my hand instead of his. Share your heart with me, not with him. Y/N…”

He fell silent as you took his hand, as you pulled him down to kiss him again, passionate and breathtaking.

He smiled into the kiss, he couldn’t help it. Because of your lips against his, because of the love you shared, because of the relief coursing through his entire frame after finally surrendering to the feelings he had held back for months, because of the shushing of its constant loneliness under your palms, because of the power you released into his body by a simple caress…

Aleksander was selfish, after all, and he would have you, if you chose him. He would do without this alliance with the Lantsov family. He didn’t need it. Instead of political leverage, you were now offering a power of his own.

He broke the kiss, held you close to him, rested his lips against your hair. Yes, he would have you. And if need be, he’d take the light out of this entire world, while you burned it to the ground.

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling x you #the darkling x y/n #the darkling imagine #the darkling fanfiction #the darkling fanfic #aleksander morozova #aleksander kirigan #aleksander x reader #aleksander x y/n #aleksander x you #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

[shawty-writes-a-little]

Amongst the two of us

General Kirigan x princess!reader (one shot)

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: Period drama misogyny, arranged marriages, arguments, angst, I’ll proofread in the morning pls sorry

Summary: The general and his wife of differentiating moral grounds make their marriage work somehow

An: This one was sitting in my drafts unfinished for so long and it was an alternate ending for another Aleksander fic which I never ended up posting but I worked on this one bc s2 darkling arose a LOT in me so oh well

This one is spoiler free for S2 :)

—

There were two sets of council meetings ever since the General had married the lady y/l/n. For one her name weighed a lot of political power, being the noble lord’s daughter, the princess it was a prestige to have that power at little palace, someone of that huge a name by the general’s side. Well the General himself never cared for the affection of it all, he was too smart the man to see past any political benefit. Y/n, in the peak of her youth had dreams and hopes for her marriage which her soon crushed one after another with every bit of unfolding of her relationship with Aleksander, coming to realise she hadn’t married an affectionate man, not even caring but someone just so powerhungry and cold he doesn’t think twice to bend his morals. Is what y/n thought of him coming to know so more and more of him but remained not so phased after a while, a year into the marriage she would just look back thinking how foolish she it was to expect anything of the man she married.

Yet she thought it worked just fine, if she truly meant to marry for love she might’ve had a summer fling, elope with some stable boy and call it love to be living in some cottage far away…but no, she was destined for duties more than that. She had her own first army council at the little palace, the king’s army. But the king never bothered attend. The Lady Kirigan, the princess, was considered capable with the set of officers she had for most decisions.

Your husband doesn’t share a bed with you but at least you’re the head of first army council meetings. Your husband rarely shares any intimate moments with you but at least you get to see him from camp base to camp base. And of course the most infamous facade of being the pair that does share affection for each other in the glamour dinner parties amongst drunk lords and ladies who believe it just fine.

Honestly on the political front the first army felt more liberated and open with less of the general’s inputs given he wouldn’t join their meetings anymore ever since Lady y/n was placed there neither were the first army officials…mortals rather, allowed in any second army business. “Leave, the room.” Too much for uninterrupted business, the general barged into the meeting room where Lady y/n’s first army officials were having an ongoing discussion given the maps and the reports laid out on the table. “I have some important matters I need to discuss with my lady wife.” He announced as the matters seemed to be quite the work regarding, given he had a letter or document scroll in his hands and it was the general himself who visited.

With a short nod from y/n the officers left the room leaving the two alone, y/n did feel a tad affront on him just barging in through her ongoing meeting well aware he wouldn’t have entertained it if it was the other way around but she wished for whatever matter it was to get done with sooner so she chose not to speak on it “What is it?”

Aleksander placed the letter in his hand on the table for her to read, as she picked it up he spoke “Its a letter to Lord Eldon, a dear friend of your father’s who’s not so particularly fond of me, we need his aid for more men by the Ravaka front since the second army is occupied by the fold but he wouldn’t comply if the letter went from me” Aleksander let out a short scoff on the fact that some lord of a land that covers barely about 5 villages would be distasteful to him, the general, the shadow summoner. But in his opinion these noble lords were so petty about their allies and Aleksander knew he wasn’t that friendly “I need you to sign that letter.”

Y/n had her eyes fixated on the letter reading through till the end, the letter written in a first person way with wordings seeming as if she did write it herself “Did you write this?” She asked looking up from the letter.

“No.” Aleksander replied flatly, surely the general wouldn’t be as free as to go about writing framed letters himself.

“Well next time you feel like writing a letter on by behalf know that I wouldn’t be this straight forward to a dear friend of my father’s who has know me my entire life…” her voice trailed off with a suppressed chuckle that Aleksander didn’t even seem to check the phrasings of the letter once.

“Alright then you write it yourself” He spoke sliding a blank paper across the table to her “Make it as authentic as you’d like.”

“I could write it but I am not going to sign it.” Y/n spoke with sincerity but she was calm to lay it out. “I don’t condone it.”

“I beg your pardon?” Aleksander said raising a brow quite phased that she would choose a decision revolting his.

“If I sign the letter Lord Eldon will surely send his soldiers given he is to watch over a larger estate with his handful of army it would be unwise so no…”

“That is exactly why I want you to sign it. If the letter is from you he will send his men-did-did you not hear me correctly the first time?” He asked budding quite misinterpreting what she meant to say as whole.

“I heard you just right and I am saying no.” Y/n still had a calm yet firm tone of her voice despite his obvious annoyance “Lord Eldon isn’t a sovereign lord his army is the third half of the Royal army…for him to send his soldiers, the domesticity of the people of his land would be compromised. I am not going to sign the letter and bind him with a moral obligation.”

“The domesticity of the people?” He repeated her words with a taunting amusement “You are crossing unnecessary lengths to spite me…just sign it.” Aleksander sighed not considering her genuine people caring intentions behind it.

“Oh I surely do have other things than to be free enough to spite you, General.” Y/n said crossing her arms to a firm stance “Should Lord Eldon send his men for you the crime, the looting, the disruption will increase in his lands with less men on patrol, when he doesn’t even have enough as it is. I am sorry but I cannot sign it.”

“Don’t you understand? This is important. We need those men and it requires just a mere signature of yours!” He exclaimed, very agitated as he let out an exaggerated sigh rubbing his eyes to get over the unwanted annoyance.

“It’s as if I am talking to a wall…you aren’t even trying to understand.” Y/n spoke shaking her head, Aleksander truly believed that y/n’s barrier for the sign was not the honour and morals she abided by but…pettiness. “If you need the soldiers so bad then write the letter yourself. Sign it and send it as yourself the general because frankly ‘we’ don’t need his men…the second army does, you do.”

“Y/n you don’t get to—“

“Lady y/l/n.” She corrected him mid sentence shrugging her shoulders, he wasn’t on first name terms with his own wife even the marriage was quite formal and political, should he believe that he had the authority over her to by using her first name in disdain she’d rather prove him wrong.

“Y/l/n.” He corrected his words with gritted teeth “Sign it. Be done with it.” Aleksander was running out of patience to convince or put forward any debate whilst she remained calm as ever as if he stance his words had no effect on her.

Y/n exhaled and she took the paper in her hands walking across the table to him, she looked at the letter one time as though she were considering signing it right before she tore it apart in his face and let the pieces of paper fall to the floor “I won’t.”

Aleksander huffed, he stood as if that action did not phase him, something he expected at the start of their conversation “It is almost humorous and immature to see how low you are willing to steep just to get a rise out of me.”

All of this over a sign…y/n said in her head yet she knew this conversation would only go further and further to no end. Aleksander was so head strong out of all she tried to explain it why she wouldn’t sign the letter he stood the same ground, “Ah yes of course my favourite hobby!” She said sarcastically rolling her eyes as she attempted to walk past him.

Aleksander stopped y/n in her tracks holding her by her upper arm, taken aback by this sudden action she tried to maintain her distance yet he gave her a firm tug towards him to sound more sincere “You might think you are so much above me with your moral grounds and your honour, silver spoon fed princess y/n, but you stand here, at the little palace, taking your council meetings as the general’s wife…and that’s what bothers you so much doesn’t it?” He sneered “It hurts your petty conscience…however you put it y/n you are not much different than me—you married me.”

“You know Aleksander, I did not have a say in this. It was announced I was to be married to the general…you. Before our wedding I didn’t even know what you looked like, my beliefs had nothing to do with our marriage my father simply married me off to a stranger on the king’s orders. You are just too arrogant to be around.” so much for the spoiled princess. Y/n replied bluntly as she looked at him and he seemed lost at words letting go of his grip on her arm. He instantly regretted his phrasing aware that must’ve stung her, he was not one to apologise but before he could even show his slight remorse for the words he chose she was already walking out her office, leaving him alone…a frequent sight for him. Sight he didn’t want to admit to but hated being used to, her walking away.

—

A distasteful marriage had both Aleksander and Y/n bound to societal presence of being a rather joyous couple, hand in hand and smiling at the guests of the gala. One of the king’s many monthly amusements. Gather Royal gossiping and as Aleksander put it, arse kissing guests time to time for fine dining despite of what goes on within the country. Y/n was raised amongst these dinner parties of fake smiles and niceties, just assuming her smiles wouldn’t be as fake around her own husband was something she hadn’t planned. But there they were, the general and his wife, y/n graciously laughing at his comments as they talked to the Royal guests, arm in arm as if it wasn’t mere hours ago that two of them had an argument over council matters. “Ah Y/n!” One of the ladies from the Royal guests called her as she approached her and Aleksander. “General” the lady nodded respectfully. “You look lovely tonight princess-or should I say lady general now?” The lady commented as she let out a cheerful laugh.

“You wound me by addressing me with titles when you’re quite literally my favourite!” Y/n exclaimed with a courteous smile, “You are on first name basis hmm? Don’t insult our bond with titles!” Truthfully y/n didn’t even remember the name of the Lady who so cheerfully greeted her and Aleksander, she remembered her face from a few of royal dinners and galas from earlier and that was about enough for a small talk. However the ‘first name basis’ was a taunt to Aleksander which he must’ve registered the way his lips fell into a thin smile to seem as if he wasn’t phased.

“They say marriage changes people quite a lot but you two just as gallant as your wedding day!” The lady exclaimed.

“Why thank you that is very polite.” Aleksander spoke with a short nod, he was never the one to get so much involved in any of the small talks it seemed his wife was quite the master with remembering a lot of details about almost every royal guest she did most the talking for him while he’d stand there with small courtesies.

“Surely! And for a marriage to change you it requires quite a lot of the couple to be so present don’t you agree?” Y/n said to the lady in such a subtle manner though her words weighed heavy sly comments directed to Aleksander.

“Oh you are so right! As workaholic as the general is I imagine it is difficult to get his time.” The lady joked unaware of the original scenario of their marriage being worse than that. Y/n didn’t get his time, his thoughts or attention outside of these dinner parties anyways. She never took it up with Aleksander of course, it was bound to be met with disdain. Yet it didn’t stomach her well how getting Aleksander’s time out of his ‘workaholic’ schedule seemed something difficult to the lady and not y/n’s time. She was on the first army council herself and worked just as much…nothing new.

“Happens so often…” y/n’s voice trailed off as she chuckled at what seemed to be a light hearted mention of her husband’s businesses to the lady, “you’d be surprised” y/n added softly for Aleksander to hear. And he did, he’d been hearing these comments and taunts quite a few times in the course of that entire evening.

He thought maybe it had something to do with the correlation of their argument earlier, wether it was or wasn’t his patience wore so thin. After the dinner of snide remarks it almost seemed endless to Aleksander. Once it was over he walked back to y/n’s chambers with her, they left these events together so it would seem that they had the same bedchamber. However when y/n got inside hers thinking Aleksander would walk further down the hall to his, he walked inside the room with her. Y/n simply turned around when he entered alongside her before she could begin to ask the reason for it he shut the door behind him and stood afar exhaling “What was all that about?” He spoke and it seemed so demanding.

“What?” She asked truly clueless, she didn’t think those comments would actually get to him, most of those she most probably forgot even making.

“You kept on taunting me the entire evening!” He said crossing his arms trying his best to maintain his composure yet his body language was so angry and frustrated.

“Oh did I now?” Y/n asked tilting her head trying to go though some of the conversations in her head where he must’ve felt that she had done that, maybe.

“Y/n it-“

“Uh?” Y/n interrupted him mid sentence as he used her first name.

Aleksander spoke further regardless “It was disrespectful to me.”

“Are you going to have another one of your tantrums again? I did not have enough wine for this…” y/n sighed with her subtle composure and if only irritated Aleksander more and more. However much he tried to result her misconduct to her she seemed to be treating it so trivially.

“I am serious.” He said flatly and brisk of frustration lingered his tone.

“So am I. I truly did not drink enough to go through this again” Y/n said raising her brows at him, she gathered that if she reacted and engaged with him seriously, it wasn’t as if he was going to listen secondly he was awaiting for her to react the way he wanted her to so he could tell her how much of an inconvenience to she was to him. To his plans.

“You can’t just ignore me with sarcasm!” Aleksander exclaimed and he felt as though he would loose his temper so he exhaled taking in a breath for that situation to not arise, he wanted to prove his point across and it wouldn’t happen if he acted rather harshly or she wouldn’t be open to listen to him “I am your husband-why don’t I get to call you by your name?”

“Why? Lady y/l/n, lady general, lady wife doesn’t suffice?” She replied leaning on the table in the large bed chambers where he still stood by the doors.

“I address you with titles when you are surrounded and in meetings out of respect but amongst the two of us—“

“There is no amongst the two of us!” Y/n said this time as the subtlety of her tone leaving her. It was beyond her understanding how he his thought process counted her the harbinger of their unpleasant marriage. She threw her hands in the air pointing this to him “This might just be one of the few times where we’re ‘amongst the two of us’ behind closed doors and we are arguing! That’s the most you see for us.”

“Why are you so strongly opinionated towards me? I have never wronged you in any way!” He said exclaiming as he walked a few steps towards her both of their tones so above decency as their conversation got heated.

“Me? I am strongly opinionated? My husband doesn’t even share the same bed as me and you are saying that? Under different circumstances you wouldn’t have married me I’m not your like am I? I am not grisha—had it not been for your political status you wouldn’t even have this conversation. Me! It’s me-I am the one who has never wronged you yet I despise you that much.” Y/n spoke as her voice cracked by the end of it, she had went through this in her head a lot. Everything she could be doing right for him to stop being as cold to her until he drove her to stop believing in them.

Aleksander took a long pause before he spoke, he had never realised that this is what she’d been feeling due to him but it wasn’t is intention. “You…you don’t despise me.” He spoke looking away from him almost as if he couldn’t meet her gaze.

“Alright…sure! You can say anything you want to have the last word of this argument but it does not change the truth!” She spoke frustrated just then Aleksander leaped towards her grabbing the sides of her arms and pinned her to the wall, y/n just started at him blankly just registering how fast that had happened.

“You want to know the truth y/n? The truth is I am exhausted to see you disregard my love for you over and over because you do not fathom it. I have always hated those galas and dinner parties yet you make me await them so I could get to be close to you, if only for the mask of being a happy couple but I so miserably await being close to you. It is difficult to even work around you knowing out of everything I could want of the whole world I want you, your love and it is the one thing I can’t have—you don’t deserve my infuriating love, the darkness of it and had I not pushed you away you would’ve loved me like someone entitled to. I don’t want that entitled, dutiful love…I want it yours. Wholly yours. But it is getting difficult to push you away..” he finished as the two of them gazed into each other’s eyes for quite the long moment. This was the most close they had been and neither seemed to move.

“Aleksander…” finally y/n said softly as her gaze softened towards him. Comprehending everything he just said. His expressions were truly taken aback when she said his name, for someone wanting to be that long buried part of himself, “Kiss me.” She looked at him unfaltering, as he pulled her into him from the waist letting go of her arms and crashed his lips onto hers. Such strong desire of a pushed away love, heavy, unfathomable, messy love. Y/n wrapped her arms around him as the two of them kissed their wearies away.

—

I’m going to write more w s2 plots so let me know if you want to be tagged or request something <333

Hi pls if you’re supposed to be studying or doing anything future you would hate you for being here instead of finishing that please go do it I am in fail girl summer rn and I regret it I love u

#general kirigan x reader #darkling x reader #darkling x reader angst #darkling shadow and bone #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morovoza #general kirigan x you #general kirigan x reader angst #general kirigan x reader smut #general kirigan #the darkling x you #darkling x fem!reader #darkling smut #shadow and bone fanfiction

[writing--whore]

Hunger (The completed story)

Pairing: The Darkling x Reader

Summary: A/O/B fic. It's your first heat and it's too intense to handle. All of the men at the Little palace want you but there's only one man you have your eye on. But there's no way he'd want to mate with you, would he??

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: Piv smut, mating press, bit of a breeding kink, biting, scratching, knotting, possessiveness, a lil bit of d/s dynamics

Tagging those who may be interested: @midnightxsecretary @kjr23org @intothesoul @sithapprentice @poemfreak306 @zeeader @sloppyzengarden @padawan-jiejie @dreamlandcreations @k-marzolf

As you walked into the council room, all the men turned to look at you, eyes slightly wide and hungry. You could almost picture the saliva dripping down their chins. You shrunk into yourself as you made your way to your seat. 

It was your first heat and you didn’t want to let it prevent you from going to work. But a heat was even more intense than you’d expected it to be and it seemed to be getting worse by the minute. 

You were absolutely throbbing and your pants were soaked through. You couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together to try and gain some amount of satisfaction. It only made things worse but once you’d started you couldn’t seem to stop. 

You dared to look around yourself and you noticed that concentration strained on the men’s faces as they now refused to look at you. They were trying so hard to be civil and not to pounce on you. 

When none of you thought you could take it any longer, General Kirigan finally strode into the meeting. His nostrils flared as soon as he entered, clearly taking notice of your scent. He didn’t say anything as he placed his papers down on the table ready to conduct the discussion. You’d never seen him look so tense before, not even during his most high-stakes political negotiations. You started to regret not taking the day off work.

You could hardly think straight, your nipples were hard beneath your bra and you wanted so badly to start palming your breasts through your clothes. You were desperate for any sort of stimulation and had to restrain yourself from rocking your mound the chair. You had an inkling that none of the men were paying attention too, if their stolen glances were anything to go off. 

A few of the men were without a mate and you knew that they were desperate to throw themselves at you. And your instincts were telling you to do the same. But one man’s scent in particular was driving you insane. General Kirigan’s. He was the alpha of all alphas. And it came off in his scent. You were practically dizzy with it. 

You were so painfully aware of his presence. Sure he was incredibly attractive and you might have always had a little crush on him but this feeling was nothing in comparison to that. A part of you was willing to do absolutely anything for that man to put you out of your misery. But its not as if the General Kirigan would ever want to be your mate, you thought sadly. 

“I think that’s enough for today.” He declared.

You checked the clock. You were finishing 30 minutes early. You shrunk into yourself even more. They couldn’t stand your presence for one second more. 

You stuffed your belongings into your bag and went to hurry out.

“Y/N, I want you to stay behind.” Kirigan instructed. 

You froze, tightly clutching your bag, and turned back around.

His hands were pressed down on top of the table - arms as tense as logs. He refused to look at you. 

The door closed shut behind the last person to leave. His scent smelt even more intense now it was just the two of you. 

His eyes remained on the table as he spoke to you - each word was strained: “Y/N, please take the next few days off.” 

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”

He nodded. 

That was all he wanted to say. You should go now, leg it back to your room. But part of you wanted to stay. You hesitated for a moment, your legs slightly shaking and your pants so wet that a drop of it started to trickle down your thigh. You needed Kirigan’s scent to surround you, to claim you, to mark you as his. 

He interrupted your thoughts, “You may leave.”

Of course, your fantasy was never going to happen. 

“Sorry, Sir.” You repeated and hurried off. 

~~~

Each day brought endless suffering. Was it this bad for everyone else? You had no idea how they coped. This was hell. 

You writhed in bed, sheets soaked with sweat. You were genuinely going insane. The space between your legs seemed to physically burn with desire. Your legs rubbed together, seeking some sort of satisfaction but none came. 

It was impossible not to think sinful thoughts. You imagined Kirigan, his head between your legs, lips coated with your juices. You wondered how experienced he was, and you decided with certainty that he would know exactly what to do in the bedroom. That thought made you whimper. 

It hurt you to know that your imagination was not reality. Kirigan would never satiate your desires. And yet your brain couldn’t stop tossing that thought around, fantasising about him over and over again with small variations. Kirigan fucking you like his life depended on it. Kirigan fucking you slowly, placing hot, tender kisses to every inch of your body. You riding him while his pretty face screwed up in bliss. 

Your hand gravitated between your legs but you pulled it away. You had already tried that. Countless times. It only served to goad you on, to ramp the need up to one thousand. No, only an alpha could help you. 

You had considered leaving your room in the search of one. But there was only one alpha on your mind and he would never sleep with you. And you didn’t want to mate with anyone who didn’t make you feel the same way that Kirigan did. You clutched your self-respect and dignity tightly to your chest, even as the rest of your mind melted away in the fires of lust. 

Holding the pillow over your face, you groaned loudly with annoyance. It was not fair to be cursed with an affliction that bore no remedy. You needed a cold glass of water, something to distract yourself for even a second.

You hadn’t left your room ever since the meeting. Someone had been kind enough to leave meals behind your door so you didn’t have to put yourself, or the others, through any unnecessary strain. 

The clock on your bedside told you it was 2am, so it should be safe to venture outside. 

You cursed your luck when Kirigan was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book with a glass of water - unable to sleep just like you. 

The floor creaked as you turned to leave. His eyes shot up.

Your face bloomed bright red. You were only wearing your thin white nightgown, your hair dishevelled.

“I-I’ll come back later.”

He swallowed thickly. “There’s no need.” 

He tried to smile but you could spot the tension in his lips. Curse him and his politeness.

As soon as you stepped inside, a sweltering wall of scent slapped you in the face. It was musky and animalistic. Your legs shook on the way to the cupboards. You tried not to breathe but there was nothing you could do to stop it from entering your system. Saints, you needed him to fuck you sensless. You bit back a moan.

The only glasses were on a shelf that was too high for you to reach. Of fucking course everything had to be against you today.

“Let me help.” He offered.

His chair squeaked and then footsteps padded up behind you. You went rigid. 

His scent filled your lungs, choking you with cloying lust. The warmth of his body was mere inches away from touching you. You had to steel yourself from pressing back and closing the teasing gap. Your ache was worse than all of your days of suffering combined. It took all of your strength not to make a noise, a groan of pleasure, a whimper of pain, a pleading beg: “Please, Sir, use me however you want, fuck me until I can’t walk.”

The retrieved glass clanked down on the counter.

You took a deep breath and turned to face him. 

“T-Thank you.” You stuttered despite your best efforts to feign composure. 

He didn’t move. Why wasn’t he moving? His hands gripped the countertop either side of you, closing you in between his white-knuckled hands. 

There was no stopping the way your eyelids fluttered in the futile bliss of his perfect scent and his perfect face. You couldn’t think straight. What was happening? 

“Sir?”

A noise halfway between a groan and a growl caught in the back of his throat at hearing you call him that.

“You can’t keep going around smelling that divine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Something needs to be done.”

In one graceful motion, he closed the distance, his body pressing up against your own. 

This had to be a dream, a fever dream conjured from the intensity of your heat.

His head surged forwards, lips pressing against yours with a crushing force. This was the best dream you’d ever had. 

Your hands laced through his raven locks as his tongue delved between your parted lips. The feel of his soft lips mixed with the bruising intensity with which he tasted you was absolutely divine. His hands snaked around your back, pressing you tight against himself. Your tongue slipped into his own mouth, lapping up every inch of him. This felt fucking amazing. You’d never experienced such an electric kiss. It had you seeing fireworks. 

You yelped when he grabbed your waist and lifted you onto the counter. Your legs wrapped tightly around him and he continued to kiss you with desperation. 

This was actually real wasn’t it? You could feel his plush lips, his flushed skin, his curious tongue. It felt much too real to be a dream. But how could this be happening to you? You’d fantasised about it so many times, and now it was actually happening, your General was here, stealing your breath away. 

He rocked his hips against your own, his hard length pressing against your core, and he bit down on your lower lip. Stars sparked along your spine. You let out a gasp and rutted your hips desperately against him. 

“Oh, please, please, please.” You chanted without even realising the words were falling from your mouth.

You planted hungry kisses along his cheek and neck, your hands fisted in the back of his kefta as you rocked against him.

“Are you sure?” He asked, pulling away to study your response.

It only dawned on you what you’d just said, what you’d begged for. Your heart was giddy. You would never forget this day, you would never forget the way his eyes seemed to burn like hot coal when you said: “Yes.”

Before you could blink, you were being lifted up and carried down the corridors. You wrapped your hands around his neck to steady yourself against the speed with which was carrying you. Now that you had exactly what you needed to make the pain go away, you were more desperate than ever. The man who would satiate you was pressed against your side, carrying you like you weighed nothing. You couldn't wait to get your hands all over him. 

You revelled in the feeling of his obsidian, silk sheets as he set you down on his bed. You'd been so curious to know what Kirigan's bedroom looked like but, as his lips crashed against yours, you couldn’t care less. 

Your greedy hands pushed off his kefta and started unbuttoning his shirt. Lust had boiled off any sheepishness you usually would have carried to the bedroom. 

Joy buzzed through your bones when you pressed your hands against his bare chest and explored the contours of his muscles. 

“I need you, I need you.” You repeated like prayer against his lips.

“You can have me.” 

He lifted the nightgown off you, leaving you exposed in nothing but your underwear. He pulled away to discard his trousers and then his fingers were hooking into your bra and pausing, waiting for consent. 

You nodded desperately, “Please.”

You had no idea how he had the restraint to be so careful with you. You’d been dying to rip his clothes off as soon as you’d spied him in the kitchen and you were sure he must feel the same. 

He pressed kisses along your neck and then trailed lower before taking a nipple into your mouth. Your head threw back as his tongue swirled around your bud. You were so sensitive that you thought you could burst. 

You managed to twist around to tug your underwear off and he pulled away to do the same. His hard length stood to attention against his abdomen, thick and veiny. His tip was red and leaking a trail of precum. You were practically salivating at the sight of it. Usually, you would have panicked about fitting in his impressive length but you were so achingly empty that you were excited to take on the challenge. 

He went to go down on you but you stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Please. Now. I need you now.” 

He let out a small chuckle at your desperation.

“Your wish is my command, flower.��� 

He lined himself up with your entrance and, in one single thrust, he pushed cleanly into you. Your mouth threw open into a wide O. He was so large. It knocked the air out of your lungs. 

He gave you no time to adjust to him; he pulled all the way out before ramming into you again. Your mouth remained open, eyebrows drawn down into two tight lines. He’d only just started and you were already a quivering mess, his dick stealing your ability to speak. You were ready to start a new religion and worship him as your God. 

He praised - his words broken by breathy groans, “You feel incredible.” 

“You…- eurghhh.” You tried to reciprocate but you couldn’t form a coherent sentence, his thick cock stretched you out too deliciously. 

Grinning at your reaction, he sped up his thrusts with impossible hip strength, using your speechlessness as motivation to drive his cock into you even harder.

You were mewling obscenely, toes curling. It was all so much pleasure. You weren’t sure if your mortal body was capable of experiencing such extreme heights. 

“I’ve only just started and you’re already too cock dumb to speak?” He asked.

A darkness shrouded his irises. It thrilled you, sending another wave of wetness to spill out over his dick. 

You wanted to speak your affirmation or throw him a bratty protestation - you weren’t sure which - but the feeling of his dick pounding into you made it too hard to think of any words. 

“Not even a ‘yes, sir’?” He teased.

“Y-ye-yes, s-s” You tried to stutter out.

He grasped your legs and positioned you so your knees were against your chest and he crawled further on top of you so he could hook his arms beneath your shoulders. He had you in a mating press. 

He continued to pound into you, hitting you deep in your core, smashing against your g-spot. You practically screamed in pleasure, certain that everyone in this wing of the palace heard you. 

“Can’t finish your sentence?” He taunted. 

“S-s-sorry, s-s- arghhhhh.”

Waves of hot pleasure crashed over you with each thrust, so perfectly fast and deep. You would do absolutely anything this man asked of you if it meant you could experience this again. 

“It’s okay, little one, we can work on your sentences another time.”

Another time? There was going to be another time? You had never been happier. 

This position was exhilarating. You were trapped at his mercy, unable to fight him off even if you wanted to. But you were his willing prey. 

“Are you ready to take me?” He asked, pressing kisses against your neck.

You nodded before you even realised what he was talking about. And then it dawned on you. Knotting. You were about to be knotted. You were about to be bonded with him. A small jet of fear released in your abdomen, you weren’t sure if you could handle his knot, if you could stretch wide enough, if your mind was fortified enough to withstand the pleasure. This was all happening so quickly. You were about to be his mate, the general had chosen you. Your sex-drugged brain was too cloudy to process everything but you know one thing for sure, that every fibre of your being screamed with the desire to be his. 

“Ah~! Yes, yes.” You managed to moan out. 

Your enthusiastic consent spurred him on as he rutted into you with increasing power. 

Your heart raced with apprehension but there was something oddly comforting about being caged in by him and feeling his warmth radiate around you like a weighted blanket. Maybe it was your heat-imposed delirium or the fact that you two were fated to be mates, but you trusted him explicitly. 

Then you started to feel it. His tip was growing in size, expanding to fill up the space deep in your vagina. It was electrifying to know that you were trapped with his dick inside of you until he came. You were discovering many surprising things about yourself tonight. 

Your walls fluttered around him. You were so close but you wanted to cum at the same time as him. Biting down on your lip, you tried to hold it in. But your self-control was slipping with how hard he kept smashing your cervix. 

He spoke in between the lovebites he sucked on your neck, “I can’t wait to fill you up. Claim you as mine.” 

The combination of the ministrations of your neck with the savage thrusts against your spongy core was sending you over the edge. You let out some impressive screams as his teeth pressed down hard, keeping your skin in his mouth and growled at the same time. You shivered to think of how you must look decorated in his marks. 

Your hands snaked around to hold onto his back for dear life as you struggled to stave off your orgasm. 

His dick was pushing up into you as far as it could possibly go, his balls pressed tight against your opening. His knot was pulsing inside you, stretching you out more than you thought you could go. Feeling that massive tip thrust against your cervix was sending you cross eyed. 

“Mine, mine, mine.” He chanted. 

His hot breath against your abused neck caused your body to convulse. 

“I’m gonna cum.” He warned.

Your heat had definitely messed with your brain because you were so excited, so ready to be filled with him. 

His thrusts arced larger, his knot straining against your entrance before pushing back up to your cervix again. You clawed marks into his back. A few more thrusts and he burst, releasing hot cords of cum deep inside of you. You clenched around him, wanting to milk everything out of him as you cried in ecstasy. 

It took a few heavy breaths for you to come down from your high and return back to your body. You could feel Kirigan lapping at the wounds he’d made on your neck, trying to soothe your skin. 

His knot was slowly deflating and you took the opportunity to pull his body as close to your own as physically possible. You felt like a euphoric, emotional mess. 

“How was that?” He asked. “I’m sorry if I was too rough.”

You peppered kisses along his cheek, “No, no, that was perfect, Kirigan.” 

“Please, call me Aleksander.”

Your face flushed. Being gifted with his true name felt somehow even more intimate than what you two had just done. 

“Well then, Aleksander,” You spoke his name with a slow cadence, treasuring how it felt in your mouth. “You could afford to be rougher next time.”

His eyebrow raised in surprise and you let out a girlish giggle that surprised you. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He said with a stupid grin on his face. For as much as you wanted to see him smiling, you stole his lips into a heated kiss, desperate to show the affection that was bursting out of you. You couldn’t believe your luck. You were General Kirigan’s Aleksander’s mate. The most handsome and most powerful man in all of Ravka was yours for the taking.

~~~

A gentle note that I am taking commissions if anyone is interested. No worries if not uwu

#the darkling x reader #darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x you

[marvelmusing]

A Night of Firsts

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your family requires you to marry, despite your position as a First Army strategist. Luckily, General Kirigan is more than willing to offer you his hand in marriage. You’re fond of Aleksander, but your wedding night has arrived and you’re beyond nervous.

Warnings [18+]: smut, fingering, first time, experienced!Aleksander, innocent!reader, reader has outdated ideas about first times, tiny bit of corruption kink, praise kink, wife kink, little bit of size kink

My Masterlist

“I can hear you overthinking,” Aleksander says in a low voice as he steps out from behind the changing screen in his room. He’s changed out of the kefta he had worn for the ceremony, into a black bath robe.

Glancing at his reflection in the mirror, you fiddle with the hem of your nightgown as you adjust yourself from where you’re currently seated at his vanity table.

“Am I really that easy to read?”

“No, I just know you.”

You wish he would touch you as casually as he had been through the evening. The reception had been as nerve wracking as the ceremony itself, but Aleksander’s touch had helped to ease your discomfort.

He holds your gaze in the mirror as he stands behind you.

“We won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.” You nod faintly. “We don’t have to do anything tonight, or any other night onwards.”

“But we do,” you insist in a small voice. “If anyone finds out our marriage hasn’t been consummated, my parents will seek to annul our marriage instantly.”

You know your parents were pleased that you had finally married, but you’re certain they believe you could have done better than a Grisha General.

“Whatever happens in this room stays between you and I.”

A soft, yet bitter, scoff falls from your lips as you remember one of your married friends telling you about her wedding night.

“Servants check the bedsheets you know.”

A frown crinkles at his brow, then his expression softens as he takes a step closer to you. His hand is warm as it settles on your waist, and some of the tension leaves your shoulders.

“It isn’t supposed to hurt,” he says softly and once he sees the confusion in your eyes he adds, “Your first time. You shouldn’t bleed, or hurt, if I’m doing my job correctly.”

“What do you mean?”

“May I touch you?” You nod.

He presses a kiss to your temple, nuzzling his face against yours as his hands smooth over your body. You’re only wearing a simple nightgown, white silk and lace that was picked by your dressmaker.

One hand squeezes at your hip, as he leaves a line of kisses from your cheek, to your jaw, and down your throat. His other hand cups your breast tenderly, a warm pressure against your body that leaves you aching.

“When I touch you,” he murmurs softly against the shell of your ear. “And kiss you.” He presses his lips against your neck once again and you shiver. “How does it feel?”

“Good, so good,” you whisper, your eyes heavy as he continues his actions. He hums approvingly.

“Where does it feel good, milaya?” Your cheeks burn, and he offers you his hand. “Show me where.”

You take his hand, sliding it down your body to rest against your clothed core. The heat of his hand, and the firm pressure of his fingers pressing against your entrance has you inhaling sharply. He watches your face, taking in your wide eyes and parted lips.

“When you feel good down here, it gets wet. Have you ever noticed that, milaya?” You shake your head, and he rubs gentle circles over the fabric of your panties. “Have you ever touched yourself here?”

When you open your eyes you find him staring at you, and for a moment you lose yourself in his darkened eyes. You shake your head. He breathes out sharply, grasping your chin between his fingers to ensure that your gaze doesn’t shy from his as he speaks.

“I’m going to take such good care of you. Will you let me, milaya? Will you let me teach you how to feel good?”

Before his words are finished, you’re nodding your head. Aleksander’s smile is dark as he kisses you, firmer this time. His lips devour each and every sound that leaves you, and you’re gasping when he pulls away.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he says quietly, and pulls you into his arms.

Arms curled tightly around his body, it isn’t long before Aleksander is placing you down at the head of the bed. He kisses you again and you moan softly as his hands pin your body to the mattress beneath you.

“Can I take this off?” he asks, gesturing to your nightgown, and you nod hurriedly. He smiles that dark smile again at your eagerness and helps you to pull the garment over your head.

All that you’re wearing now is your panties. White lace, with a delicate bow at the centre of the waistband. Aleksander groans low in his throat at the sight of you, and your body burns under his gaze.

“You’re so beautiful,” he tells you, as his hands settle at your waist and his mouth kisses along your throat. His movements are firmer than before, with more pressure behind his touches and his tongue and teeth join his lips as he kisses your skin. “Utterly perfect.”

“Aleksander,” you whisper in a gasp.

He lifts his head up and your eyes meet his. Then he slides your panties down your thighs, before removing them completely. He settles his body over yours, the heat of him chasing away the chill of the room. Aleksander nuzzles his face against your cheek tenderly.

“Can you part your legs for me, milaya?”

Shyly, you do as he says. He moans lowly as he looks down at the slick gathered between your thighs.

“Good girl.”

You whimper at his praise, and with the glint in his eyes you know he’s noticed.

“Can I touch you now?” he asks softly, his fingers tracing delicate patterns over your stomach and thighs.

“Yes, please,” you beg and he chuckles quietly.

“Such a well mannered little wife of mine.”

A shuddering gasp leaves your lips as his fingers finally brush over your entrance. He slides his digits through your wetness, and your hips begin to rock against his hand. Aleksander notices you biting down on your lip.

He cups your face with his other hand, pulling your lower lip away from your teeth.

“Don’t quieten yourself. I want to hear all the pretty sounds I can wring from you.”

Then he slides a finger inside you, and a broken moan leaves your lips. He tilts your head, keeping your eyes on his as he pushes his finger further inside.

“Doing so well for me, milaya,” he says in a low voice, his forehead pressing against yours. You gasp when his finger is fully inside you, and he curls the digit until you’re writhing beneath him.

He moves his finger out of you, and you moan loudly when he thrusts back inside. The wet noises make your skin flush, but Aleksander begins to increase his pace. His fingertip brushes against a spot inside you that makes you groan and he ensures to hit that spot with every thrust.

His thumb brushes along the outside of your entrance, and you whimper when he catches a particular spot. He smirks and rolls the pad of his thumb against the spot.

“Does that feel good, milaya? Is your pretty clit all swollen and needy for me to touch it?” The word is unfamiliar to you, but the small nub is eager for more of Aleksander’s attention.

“Yes, oh yes Aleksander please.”

He soon finds a rhythm that makes your legs shake, and you moan and whimper with every one of Aleksander’s touches. Sweat glosses over your skin, and your chest heaves as pleasure overtakes your need to breathe.

Your body tenses, and a warm pool of pleasure settles in your stomach before it plummets downwards quickly.

“Aleksander.”

You whine, grasping at his wrist and staring at him with wide eyes and a puzzled expression.

“Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know. I-”

You whimper, your eyes fluttering closed as the feeling of immense pleasure returns. Aleksander can feel your clenching tightly around his finger, your walls fluttering as pleasure threatens to consume you.

“It’s alright milaya. You’re about to climax. Do you know what that is?”

You shake your head, and the speed of Aleksander’s finger increases, his eyes darkening at the thought of being your first in so many different ways.

“That’s alright,” he assures you, before explaining, “Your pretty little cunt is going to squeeze hard around my finger, drip all over my hand, and you’re going to feel incredibly good.”

His words alone have you moaning his name eagerly. The well mannered, well spoken General speaking to you in such a manner has you reeling. He swipes his thumb over your clit in smooth circles and the pleasure builds steadily within you.

“Can you do that for me, milaya? Feel good for me, and cum around my finger like a good little wife?”

Your voice is a whispered plea of his name, that you repeat over and over again. He holds his finger still as you clench around him, your back arching as he presses his fingertip against that spot inside you.

A broken cry leaves your lips as you reach your peak, before his mouth is on yours. You moan softly against Aleksander’s lips as the pleasure tingles over your skin.

He eases you through the after waves of pleasure, before he pulls his finger out. You feel the loss of it, as your eyes flutter closed, but you’re too busy catching your breath to protest.

When you open your eyes you find Aleksander’s attention is on his finger, his pink tongue lapping at the creamy white proof of your climax. His eyes meet yours, and he sees the surprise on your face.

“Would you like to taste yourself, milaya?”

Your cheeks warm but you nod tentatively.

He chuckles softly and extends his finger towards you. As you lean forward you poke your tongue out, lapping at his large finger with small kitten licks. The salty taste isn’t unpleasant, and you run your tongue over the length of his finger. A small hum leaves your throat as you pull away.

“Good girl,” he murmurs.

He moves away from your body, settling on the bed beside you, and you frown. He smiles softly.

“I won’t overwhelm you on our first night together, milaya.” He presses a kiss to your hairline as you rest your head against his chest. “I want to take my time with you.”

“So, what now?” you ask softly, pressing a small kiss to his collarbone as you sink into his embrace. Your mind is still fuzzy with pleasure and clinging onto him is the only thing grounding you.

“In a moment, I’ll call for a servant to run you a bath, and to change the sheets.”

Your cheeks burn, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you press your face hard against his chest. Even as you cover your face with your hands, you can still feel Aleksander chuckling beneath you.

Once he’s gone quiet, he pries your hands away from your face and regards you tenderly.

“No one will question the status of our marriage.”

He brushes a hair from your cheek, and you give him a small smile, before you kiss his lips softly. The first kiss you had ever initiated with him. His smile widens.

When the servants arrive, you’re sitting at the vanity table wearing one of Aleksander’s bath robes. He issues a few requests, and you can hear one servant pouring the water into the bath tub whilst another pulls back the bedsheets.

You frown when a tray is placed on the table in front of you, and lift a brow towards Aleksander. He stands behind you, his chest against your back as he says quietly,

“You didn’t eat much at dinner.”

You’re surprised he had noticed such a thing, your reception had been demanding for the both of you.

“I was a little nervous,” you reason.

He leans over, lifting up the metal covering to reveal the contents of the tray. A smile blooms over your lips, and you tilt your head back to look at him. Aleksander’s eyes sparkle as he smiles down at you.

Two slices of cake sit on their own delicate china plates, with a pot of tea and two teacups, as well as milk and sugar. Not just any cake either - your wedding cake.

Aleksander drops a kiss to your shoulder.

It’s likely the servants are exchanging looks. It’s likely they see the smile on your face, and the glow of your skin. No doubt they will tell all the others that the General and his wife are madly in love. When Aleksander looks at you with such adoration in his eyes, it’s hard for you to not believe that as well.

»»---------------------►

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #general kirigan x reader #the darkling x you #the darkling x y/n #the darkling smut #shadow and bone au #netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader

[carnationworld-writings]

I'm just a jealous guy (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader)

To read my other works, check my MASTERLIST !

Paring: Aleksander Morozova x Grisha!reader

Universe: The Grishavers /Shadow and bone 

Word Count: 1221

Requested: Yes, by my sweet annon.

Warnings: mention of jealousy, shouting someone out, mention death (Luda), making out, a quick mention of sexual activity - it ends before something happened.

If I forgot about anything feel free to write to me. Your wellbeing is important to me!

Summary: The one where he is jealous. 

Aleksander walked through the corridors of Little Palace, trying to find one of his most trusted Grisha, who was also the person who made his heart beat a little faster. He lived for centuries, hiding his identity from people, always hiding his emotions, and always striving to achieve his goals. But then they showed on his path - a person with great power and strong will. A person who always cared for the people they loved and who found a way to parts of his heart that he’d forgotten. Somehow, they’d ended up sitting together into late nights, talking about everything but plans for Grishas’ training or plans for the army. He allowed himself to open up for the first time since he lost Luda, and for the first time, he allowed himself to feel again. He was afraid to call it as it was, but the truth was that he loved them. And they loved him. 

The Darkling walked to the training yard, not minding Grishas, who welcomed him. He quickly knew he was in the right place and finally found them. He first heard their soft laugh and then saw them in the middle of the training yard with Fedyor, surrounded by younger Grishas. He knew that they loved to teach them, and they only showed these kids how to defend themself. But something deep in his mind made him angry at the sight of Fedyor’s hand around them. He watched how he moved his hands to their sides and started to tickle them. They squealed at the feeling and tried to escape from him, laughing loudly. The Darkling watched how close they were and how fondly they looked at each other. The betrayal blossomed in his chest. They gently tapped the Heartrender’s chest, smiling widely. Kirigan couldn’t watch it anymore and turned on his heel, quickly going to his chambers. What he didn’t know, they saw him at the last moment, and they started worrying about his hurried departure. They ended her part of the lesson and asked Fedyor to watch their training when they went after their General. After a few moments, they knocked on the doors of his cabinet. They smiled at the sound of this deep voice telling anyone behind them that he was busy. They dared to open them and snicked in, biting their lower lip. 

“Maybe you’ll find a second for me, General?” They leaned against the door, watching him. They knew that even if he didn’t raise his head from maps, he knew it was them. They smiled at how his black kefta perfectly wrapped his tall body. 

“Make it quick. I have a war to win.” They sighed and came closer to him, gently touching his elbow. When he didn’t change his position, they dared to lean against him, resting their cheek on his arm. They could tell that he was tense, and they hated it.

“I know, handsome, and you’re doing an amazing job. But even you, great General Kirigan, need some rest. And I saw you at the training yard.”

“You saw me?” He said mockingly. “You seemed busy with this Heartrender.” He moved away, taking his arm from their grip, and they looked at him surprised. They laughed breathlessly, standing in front of him.

“With Fedyor? He is only my friend. A very close friend, who was the first one to welcome me here with open arms and who made me feel at home here.” They said with a small smile, which faded when he constantly pretended they were not there. “If you want to accuse me of something, say it aloud rather than shutting me out.” When he heard the sadness in their voice, he stopped moving, and his eyes landed on the war figures in front of him. After a few seconds, he breathed deeply.

“Are they really ‘just a friend’?” He murmured without raising his head. 

“Of course, they are just a friend. If you want to know, Fedyor lately was on a few dates with a person you know very well.”

“With who?” Alexander knew about their love for gossip. With time he discovered that it brought both of them joy, so he started encouraging them to spill a bean about it. He also wanted to be wholly sure that they were only his and that there wasn’t anybody else in their life.

“With your own personal Corporalki.” They couldn’t stop a big smile when he looked at them stunned. 

“With Ivan?” They nodded, carefully watching his face. He started thinking about the latest behaviour of this man. “He was a little strange lately, in fact. Like… Happier.” They couldn’t stop the smile rising on their face, and once again, they tried to slowly touch his forearm. They breathed with relief when he didn’t move away this time. 

“Because they are, both of them. Like I am happy when you are next to me because only our loved one can pull some of the strings in our hearts and make it beat faster in that specific way. So I will say it once again. They are only my friend. It’s YOU who has my heart.” They gently squeezed his arm, and finally, he moved closer to them with a look on his face reserved only for time when they were alone. His hands mindlessly moved to their hips, and in a quick move, he made them sit on the table behind them. They let the squeak leave their throat, making him smile widely at what they started laughing. Their hands slowly moved to rest on his shoulders, and one of them mindlessly started fidgeting with the ends of the hair on his neck. 

“You… You made me happy, you know?” He whispered sheepishly, and they could only smile wider.

“I know. Were you jealous?” They bit her lips to stop grinning, especially when they saw a flush coming into his cheeks. He looked above them, trying to compose himself. Before he could answer, they leaned down and softly kissed his bearded cheek. “Please, don’t deny it. It actually… flatters me, you know? I… I always dreamed of having a person who would care for me enough to do it. Even if there isn’t any reason for that.” 

The Darkling gently squeezed their hips, standing between their legs. His hand moved to their thigh, caressing it gently.

“I do care. Every single look from other men or women is enough to feel jealousy in me. To want to show all of them that you are mine.”

“And I always will be.” They whispered, and General immediately leaned down, kissing them deeply. One of his hands moved to the back of their head, gently moving it to allow him better access while the other kept them close. They moaned into his lips, wrapping one leg around him, wanting to feel every centimetre of his body. They were so lost in each other that they didn’t hear the knock on the door or that somebody had walked in. They were too busy unfastening his kefta to care about anything. Poor Ivan closed the door quicker than he ever opened them. After a moment of shock, Corporalki felt happiness for his General and his friend - even a dark soul like him deserved some light and love in the arms of a trusted person.

Author’s note: Thank you  so much for reading! If it’s not too much trouble, I would love to hear your thoughts about it. Any feedback is greatly appreciated and motivate me to work.

I am sorry about every grammar mistake and misspellings. English is not my first language.

Klaudia  💜

Taglists are always open! If you want to be added fill this up or send me an ask!

#the darkling x reader #the darkling x you #the darkling x oc #the darkling x fem!reader #the darkling fanfiction #the darkling imagine #the darkling fic #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan x oc #general kirigan x fem!reader #general kirigan imagine #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #ivan x fedyor #the darkling #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova fanfiction #aleksander morozova x fanfic #aleksander morozova fic

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter I - Steel Your Heart

Summary: You're a Durast in the Second Army of Ravka. You work in the Little Palace, having a quiet life. But that changes, when one day General Kirigan takes an interest in you. Your life is about to change. The question is… for better or for worse?

A/N: Happy New Year! I know, I posted I may have another fic about General KiriganxReader for Christmas. It didn't work out due to some things, but here it finally is! And still in this year (at least in my time zone). So, it's not a Christmas present from me to you, as I intended, but at least it can be a gift for a New Year. I hope it will be wonderful to you all and that we will get "Shadow and Bone" renewed for the third season. Enjoy this story! As usual, I don't own anything from "Shadow and Bone". Nor you. English still isn't my first language, so if you see some mistakes, let me know.

Chapter Summary: You're helping David with a project, when suddenly General Kirigan decides to give you another one. You give it your all, wanting to prove yourself and that the Darkling wasn't wrong to give you this task. But be careful not to lose your heart in your attempt to get to know the Black General.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Fedyor Kaminsky, David Kostyk, Baghra Morozova

Word Count: 4262

A/N: Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089935819/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089794821/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798519/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089802382/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089924742/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798506/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798495/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798516/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798487/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/ARu68-bzs_bGOVcrs4gXCM_ZWb65MO-UrWyE8K1XgCr8gzVz_9vI5Fo/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089794814/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

First, you hear footsteps. Then, voices. You pay them no mind, too focused on your task. You also ignore the sound of clearing of one's throat. What finally gets your attention, is someone positioning themselves in front of you. And only because they're blocking the light.

You raise your head and meet a smile of a Heartrender. Fabian? Felix? Fedyor. That's right. But he's not the one blocking the sun. The person next to him is and he could do it without positioning himself in front of the window. He could do it from the end of the room if he wanted to.

'General,' you greet him politely and you glance at Fedyor again. 'Fedyor.'

'Good afternoon, [Y/N],' the Heartrender says, still smiling. He often smiles. You like that about him.

'Where's David?' General Kirigan asks. He, on the other hand, never smiles. Actually, you don't think you ever saw him smiling. Not that you spend much time with him. You circle completely different orbits. How could you not? You're a mere Durast, while he is the Shadow Summoner and the General of the Second Army.

'In the infirmary,' you answer calmly and return to your work. You miss the frowns on General and Fedyor's faces.

'In the infirmary?' the Heartrender repeats.

'Mhm,' you hum. 'Again.'

'He often ends up there?' General asks.

'Quite,' you confirm. 'But still, he's improving. It's only his third visit today.'

Fedyor's eyes widen, while General closes his. But you don't see it, still engrossed with your work.

'He went there a while ago, though, so he should be back soon,' you say. 'If it's urgent.'

'That depends whether creating some sort of light that could help us cross the Fold without attracting Volcras is urgent in your opinion,' General says, his voice emotionless.

'Ah, that,' you say. 'That's actually why he ended up there. Again. So, don't worry, he's working on it. Well, we are.'

You look up, giving the men a pointed look. General moves to the side a bit after a moment, after understanding that's what you're working on and they're actually interrupting you.

'Sorry,' Fedyor says, sending you a sheepish smile. You shrug.

'It's fine,' you say. 'David only asked me yesterday for help. I'm still trying to understand what he's done so far. And why it's not working like it should. Or works as it shouldn't, like setting David eyebrows on fire.'

General's eyebrows shoot up. Fedyor snorts and marks it with a cough.

'Eyebrows,' Kirigan repeats.

'And eyelashes,' you add. 'For a moment we thought he lost eyes.'

You return to your work. But then someone else calls your name in a tone you know so well. You freeze and exhale slowly. You turn to the coming person with a small smile.

'Petro,' you greet the incoming Tidemaker. He sends you a charming smile. He leans on the table and looks you over.

'[Y/N],' he says. 'You look very nice today. I love your-'

'What do you want?' you interrupt him. Petro freezes, then smiles sheepishly. He pulls out his dagger from his sheath. The dagger is bended in a weird angle. Fedyor tilts his head with a frown, wondering how he managed to do that with Grisha steel. Kirigan stares at it grimly, clearly not impressed.

'Again?' you ask, raising your eyebrows.

'Yeah… could you?' Petro asks, looking at you with puppy eyes. You extend your hand in answer. The Tidemaker hands you the dagger, beaming.

'Thanks, you're the best!' he says. You look the dagger over.

'Mhm,' you hum. 'Come back for it in an hour or so. I should have it-'

'Yeah, yeah, see you then!' Petro interrupts you, still grinning. He salutes to the General, finally seeming to notice him and walks away with a spring in his step.

'I truly don't know what ladies see in him,' Fedyor says. 'He's just so… bleugh.'

You don't answer him, focused on the dagger. The men watch as you grab the blade with your hand, while the other is grabbing the handle. You hum quietly and slowly the metal twists and bends. Merely a minute passes and the dagger looks like new. You nod, satisfied, and put it on the edge of the table. You return to your work, while men give you blank stares.

'Why did you tell him to come back in an hour?' Fedyor can't help but ask.

'Because that's the third time this week, he can wait for it,' you answer. You think you hear a snicker coming from General's lips, but you're sure it's just your imagination.

'And here I thought you're a good, quiet Durast,' Fedyor chuckles.

'Oh, Fedyor,' you say, glancing up at him. 'Never underestimate the quiet people.'

The Heartrender shivers at the look in your eyes. He stares at you, a bit disturbed, but you return to your work. You don't even notice the way General gazes at you. Like you're an interesting puzzle that needs to be solved.

Just then David enters the workshop. He looks a bit ruffled, but seems fine. He has a look of deep concentration on his face, so you know everything's alright with him.

'General,' he says, surprised, stopping, once he notices who's in the room.

'Mr Kostyk, I'm glad you could join us,' General says, putting his hands behind his back. 'I hope you're alright?'

'Um… yes, I'm fine, thank you, General,' David says and walks slowly to you.

'And?' you ask. He gives you a confused look.

'What did we learn today?' you clarify.

'Oh,' David says. 'Not to lean too much over the fire we don't know how works.'

'We don't lean too much over any fire, but that kind especially, yes,' you say. That's when you turn off, completely focusing on your task, since David is here to answer all of General's questions.

The Durast tries his best to explain his progress. But he's standing in front of the fearsome Darkling, so he's nervous. His arms are all over the place. He ends up turning over things on the table. The effect? The dagger on it falls from the table… straight on General's foot. But at the last moment it stops in the air.

Fedyor and General stare at it, surprised. They look up and see David's pale face turned toward you. You, who's holding a piece of paper in one hand, reading it, and have the other one extended toward the dagger. They watch how you move your hand and the blade follows its movements, to finally land back on the table.

'David, I don't think the General fancies the journey to the infirmary,' you comment casually and put down the piece of paper.

'I… I am so sorry, General,' David apologises, flustered.

'It's alright, Mr Kostyk,' Kirigan says, his eyes focused on you. 'Miss [L/N].'

'Hm?' you hum, looking at him with an absent-mind expression.

'I know Mr Kostyk said you're valuable to his work, but I have a different task for you,' General says and you raise your eyebrows at him. 'I was thinking about creating lighter and faster skiffs. And something tells me you're the right Durast for the job.'

You frown, already calculating how would that be possible. Something sparks in your eyes.

'Yeah, I can do that,' you nod. 'No problem, General.'

'I know you won't disappoint me,' Kirigan says and looks at David. 'Neither of you.'

Your friend gulps and bows his head. He elbows you and you do the same. General glances at you one last time and leaves with Fedyor.

'Why did you give her that task out of the blue, sir?' the Heartrender asks, curious.

'That paper in her hand was completely blocking her the sight of the dagger,' General says. 'And yet she stopped it. Without even seeing it's falling. Which proves that she was right and it's better not to underestimate her.'

'How so?' Fedyor asks. General's lips twitch upward.

'Because the silent ones are the most observant ones,' he answers. 'And that also makes me believe she's the right person to be able to make our skiffs faster and lighter.'

He speeds up. Fedyor quickly follows him, lost in thought. They don't speak to each other until they reach the General's chambers.

*

Next time Kirigan sees you, is while you're already working on the skiff with other Durasts and Alkemi. He's pleased to see that the work is going well. He is, though, confused by you.

When he saw you in the workshop, focused on your work, almost alone, you were a completely different person than you are when you are surrounded by other Grisha. People ask you for help almost all the time and you help them with a smile on your face. You're the one responsible for the project, but almost every time you suggest something and someone dismisses the idea, you don't push and you seem to close in yourself.

When the work is done for the day, everyone leaves but you. Kirigan is about to go as well but something stops him. He observes you. The moment others are gone, smile disappears from your face. For the whole time General's been here, he was trying to figure out what was bothering him so much about your behaviour. Now he knows. Your eyes. Your mouth was smiling, but not your eyes. He can see it now, when your lips are turned downward.

He walks out of the shadows and walks slowly to you. You only notice him when he's right next to you. You jump, startled. Seeing it's him, you put a hand on your chest and force yet another smile.

'General,' you greet him. 'I'm sorry, you scared me.'

Kirigan stares at you. You tilt your head, confused.

'Miss [L/N], are you alright?' the man asks.

'I'm fine,' you answer after a moment, turning your face from him. You try to focus on materials in front of you.

'You don't look fine,' Kirigan insists.

'Then stop looking,' you snap. You look at him, startled. He raises his eyebrows.

'I am so sorry, General,' you apologise. The man frowns, seeing how you seem to cower, becoming smaller than you are. It doesn't seem like the girl who told David off for almost hurting him and stopped the dagger from hurting him even not looking at it.

'I think I'm just tired', you try to excuse yourself, looking away from him again. 'It's been a long day and we had some problems. I swear it won't happen-'

'Do not pretend that you are some meek, pathetic little girl, when I can see that vicious mind working behind your eyes,' Kirigan interrupts you harshly. You flinch and look at him with surprise. He stares at you coldly. He doesn't even know why he's so annoyed by your change in behaviour. It frustrates him.

'Sir?' you ask, confused. He clears his throat.

'I've watched you today,' he says and is even more surprised. 'How is it, that when I last saw you, you told a boy to wait for his dagger and today you were doing everything people asked of you at once, often stopping your own work?'

You stare at him in silence. You don't say a word, still don't act like when he saw you that day. However, something changes in your eyes. Something that he saw then and couldn't quite place it. But now he knows. He sees it every day in his eyes.

'You're full of anger,' he says. He reaches out to you and puts a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It makes you shiver.

'Why?' he asks. You don't answer. You stare at him blankly. He doesn't push. After a moment he allows his hand to drop and turns to walk away. He takes a few steps-

'I am angry because of my father,' you speak up. Kirigan stops. He smiles. There.

'I can hold a grudge like it's a hand,' you say. General turns. He raises his eyebrows.

'Your father,' he repeats. He crosses his arms. The look in his eyes tells you he waits for more. To be honest, you don't know why you told him that at all. But there's no turning back now, is there?

'He's not a good person,' you say slowly. 'I think… he hated me for not being a boy. He definitely let me felt that. I don't think I ever saw him in a good mood.'

'What about your mother?' General asks. You smile against your will.

'She was trying to always ease his anger,' you say. 'I always admired that in her. She was smiling and helping others, even when she was sad, scared or tired.'

'And you're trying to do the same thing,' Kirigan understands. You nod.

'I have my mother's joy and my father's anger in me,' you say. 'They're always at war.'

'You're angry because you believe your father didn't love you?' Aleksander asks. 'I'm sure that's not true.'

That's a lie, obviously. He's seen many parents beating their children for the smallest things. And doing other things to them. But he wants you to say more and he knows this will. The look you give him, tells him he's right.

'The moment my he realised I'm a Grisha, he grabbed me, took me to the Little Palace and demanded a really fancy price for me,' you say, your voice void of any emotions. 'He didn't even let me say goodbye to my mother.'

Kirigan stares at you in silence, not sure what to say. You smile sadly at him.

'So, I think it's safe to say I have a father, but I never had a dad,' you say and shake your head after a moment. 'I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. Sir. Or why do you care…'

You give him a curious but also a wary look. General clasps his hands behind his back. The usual 'mask' is on his face.

'It's my duty to care about Grisha under my care,' he says. 'Make sure they're well.'

You hum, your eyes not leaving his face. You tilt your head. There's something in your look… a question.

'What is it?' Kirigan asks.

'What about your father?' you blurt out. 'What was he like? The former Darkling?'

'I never knew him,' General says after a long pause slowly. 'I grew up outside the Little Palace, away from him. Safety reasons.'

'Right, yes, of course,' you say, nodding. 'And… your mother?'

He tenses. He looks away. His lips press into a thin line.

'She loves me in some way,' he answers after a moment wistfully.

'She's alive?' you ask.

'Yes,' that's all he answers.

'It must have been hard,' you say.

'Lonely, mostly,' General says before he can stop himself. You nod and look down.

'Loneliness can be the worst kind of torture,' you say quietly. Kirigan looks at you, stunned, but you don't see it. He opens his mouth but then closes them again. You look up at him and force another smile on your face.

'I should finish this up and retire to bed,' you say and bow respectfully to him. 'General.'

'Goodnight, Miss [L/N],' he says, nodding.

'Goodnight, General,' you respond. Kirigan stares at you for a moment longer, then turns and leaves. He stops behind a corner. He clenches his fists. He won't. He won't. He won't. But he does. He turns and peeks from behind the wall.

You're standing where he left you, carefully putting things away. There's that sad look on your face again. It stirs something in Kirigan. He doesn't know what. But he doesn't like it. Nor the need to find a reason for you to be happy.

*

Are you surprised the materials you figure out you need are far away from Os Alta? No. Do you insist you need to get them yourself to properly inspect them? Yes. Coincidentally, General Kirigan is heading to a town nearby, because that's where one of your regiments is stationed. So, you and few other Grisha are riding there with the Darkling himself.

You visit the regiment first. You walk around with curiosity, as you've never been this close to war. You decide you don't necessarily want to be. You're glad when you leave that town and head to the one with your supplies. You don't stay long there. You quickly find what you need, inspect it and argue about the price. Satisfied, you head home.

At some point you take a break in a forest. After a discussion you decide to stay for the night. Kirigan leaves setting up the camp to others and goes for a reconnaissance. You never know where you can meet Fjerdan or Shu-Han's spies. And sure enough, he finds one.

The Fjerdan panics at the sight of the Darlking himself and falls from the tree he was hiding on. It catches Kirigan off guard, so he has to duck, as the Fjerdan uses the moment of confusion to fire a gun at him. He cries and throws himself at General. There's a short struggle and a moment later Kirigan throws the dead body from his own. He huffs and stands up.

He hears a sound of a gun clicking behind him. He tenses. He expects the other man to fire… but instead of gunshots he hears gurgles. He frowns and turns swiftly, ready to use the Cut. He's surprised to see the man tense and… wriggling in place? A moment later he falls on the ground, unconscious, revealing you with your hands brought together.

'How did you…?' General asks after a moment, shocked. You let your hands drop.

'Durasts can do more things than just create things, you know,' you say, raising an eyebrow. 'We can manipulate anything that's solid. Like metals. And one of metals is iron. Which is an important part of blood that flows in our veins.'

'So… you manipulated the iron in his body?' Kirigan slowly says, astonished, glancing at the man at your feet. 'How did you discover you can do that?'

'Focus, girl,' Baghra's voice rings in your ears. 'Focus on every bit of metal in this house. What can you feel?'

'Steel… bronze… copper… brass…' your younger self said on that day during your lesson with the old woman, '… silver… iron… Lots and lots of iron.'

'Iron,' Baghra repeated, frowning. Which you couldn't see, because your eyes were closed.

'Focus on iron,' the woman said, curious. 'Try to call it to you.'

You nodded again and exhaled slowly. You brought your hands together and concentrated on iron. For a moment there's nothing. Then you heard Baghra's surprised gasp and groan.

'S-stop!' she barked, her voice strained. You quickly dropped your hands and opened your eyes. The woman was breathing heavily and clutching her stomach. She looked up at you, surprised… and impressed? No, can't be. Not Baghra.

'You can control iron in human's body,' she said. 'Not many Durasts can do that…'

You blush, still embarrassed that you almost caused Baghra to bleed, because you called to yourself iron in her blood cells. You clear your throat and look away.

'During one lesson with Baghra,' you answer General's question. 'I sensed iron in her house and she told me to call it to me. We had no idea I was sensing the iron in our bodies. I… may have… almost do to her what I did to that Fjerdan.'

Oh, how Kirigan would love to see that. See Baghra surprised and gasping for breath. Almost killed by a hand of a Durast still in training.

'Impressive,' General says. He wants to say more, but then other Grisha run from behind the trees, calling him. They separate you two, asking if he's alright and checking the state of the two spies. The alive one is taken as a hostage to interrogate. They dispose of the body of the other one and you all return to the camp. General doesn't see or talk to you again that night.

In fact, the next time he has a chance to talk to you is on the day you return to the Little Palace. Or rather, later at night. He's just finished a rather frustrating meeting and goes to the kitchen to grab something to eat as a late supper. Or maybe early breakfast. However, what he sees inside the kitchen, causes him to stop dead in his tracks.

'[Y/N]?' he asks, surprised. 'It's four a.m., why are you baking a cake? And what's with the party decorations and sweets?'

He stares at you, standing in front of a table and spreading a cream on the sponge cake. Like he said, there are party decorations in the room and more sweet things to eat. You lick the spoon in your hand and look at him calmly.

'I'm celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity,' you answer and reach into a bowl with cookies, then offer one to him. 'Want a cookie?'

General is silent for a moment, trying to understand this bizarre situation. Finally, he sighs and sits down opposite to you.

'Might as well,' he answers and takes the offered cookie. You nod at him and return to your task. He watches you as you do that.

'It calms me down,' you explain. 'Baking. When I'm stressed or angry. Or both.'

'Is it my doing?' General asks. 'The task I asked you to complete?'

'No,' you deny, shaking your head, but then think. 'Well, yes and no. It's because I'm a perfectionist. Everything I do has to be perfect. And when it isn't, when something is not going how I want, I get frustrated. So, I bake. And today I understood that this task is exciting, but also challenging… which I love, don't worry… so I'm going to sleep less. Hence, the little party.'

Kirigan stares at you. He hums and eats his cookie.

'I see,' he says and suddenly freezes, as if remembering something. 'I didn't thank you, did I? For saving my life.'

'I'm sure you'd have been fine,' you dismiss him, shrugging.

'Nevertheless, you saved my life,' General says. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome,' you say, looking down, embarrassed. You finish your cake in silence. When it's done, you cut both of you a piece of it and you eat in silence. Until Kirigan asks:

'Why didn't you kill him?'

'I've never killed before,' you answer after a moment of careful consideration. 'It's not something I want to do. One of the many reasons I'm glad I'm a Durast, not a Heartrender.'

General doesn't say anything to that. You continue to eat the cake in silence. Then, you stand up and slowly start cleaning up. Clearly, you're dragging out the moment of going to sleep.

'I'm starting to think you're a masochist,' Kirigan says, a bit amused.

'Look who's talking,' you say, not looking at him. He freezes.

'What do you mean?' he asks, his voice a bit hard. You carefully think about your answer.

'When you told me about your parents… I saw something in your eyes,' you say finally. 'I couldn't understand it for some time. Until I looked in the mirror and saw the haunting look I always have whenever I think of my time before I came to the Little Palace.'

You turn to look at him. He stares at you coldly. It doesn't faze you.

'Something happened to you when you were younger,' you say. 'And it haunts your soul, hurting you… maybe even destroying you.'

'I'm fine,' Kirigan says harshly after a moment. 'I don't need any… help.'

'You don't need… or you don't want it?' you ask and look away. 'Sometimes we don't want to heal, because the pain is the last link to what we've lost.'

Suddenly, you're slammed against the wall, your wrists pinned on the sides of your head. You look with surprise, and a bit of fear, at General's angry face hovering above yours.

'Don't ever try to get inside my head,' he snarls. For several beats you stay there, his grip crushing your wrists. Finally, his dark eyes soften.

'It's too dark for you,' he says and lets go of you. He turns and walks away, watched by you.

'Goodnight,' he calls over his shoulder. He's almost at the door, when you blurt out:

'Show me your thorns and I'll show you hands ready to bleed.'

He freezes. Your heart is beating fast. You have no idea why you said that. But when he turns his head to look at you with surprise, he meets your determined gaze. Because something draws you to him. Maybe because your past is similar. Maybe because you're both lonely. But you know one thing. You don't want him to be in pain.

General frowns at you. He opens his mouth, but not a word comes out. He turns and walks away briskly. You stand in place for a moment. Then, you finish cleaning up and go to sleep.

In the morning you find an envelope under your door. Curious, you pick it up. It's black and is addressed to you in a familiar writing. You take out a note and read it. It says:

Something must be done about your rest schedule. I don't want the Durast responsible for building my new skiffs falling dead from exhaustion. From now on, I expect you in my chambers at seventeen for a cup of tea. No arguing. No excuses. You're to be there.

Sincerely,

General Kirigan

You smile.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/133293721

#aleksander kirigan #aleksander morovoza #the darkling #general kirigan #reader #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan/reader #aleksander morozova/reader #the darkling/reader #general kirigan/reader #aleksander kirigan & reader #aleksander morozova & reader #the darkling & reader #general kirigan & reader #aleksander kirigan x you #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x you #general kirigan x you #aleksander kirigan/you #aleksander morozova/you #the darkling/you #general kirigan/you #aleksander kirigan & you #aleksander morozova & you #the darkling & you #general kirigan & you #shadow and bone

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

let me be yours

a/n: this (and so many other ideas omg) was just sparked when he said the whole let me be your monster line in s2

warnings: aleksander morozova x reader, enemies to lovers undertones, love confession

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist

“See, you may think you know what you want, but you don’t,” Aleksander explained calmly as he slowly stepped closer towards where you stood, leaning against the palace wall, “no, I know exactly what it is that you really want,” he came to a stop right in front of you and breathed, “what you truly desire…” his obsidian gaze so fierce that it sent a shiver down your spine. 

Your heart nearly beat completely out of your chest, not only by his arrogant assumption but also by the unfamiliar intimate proximity, “you want a challenge,” he continued, “you want a love that consumes you,” you sucked in a sudden breath as one of his hands unexpectedly came up to gently swipe your hair back over your shoulder, his fingertips lightly ghosting over the side of your exposed neck as he did so, “one that’s so all-consuming that it blurs the line and you confuse it with hate.”

“You, my little bird, don’t want a hero,” the room around you two seemed to dim slightly, letting you focus on him and only him as he uttered, “you desire a monster,” his tall frame towered over yours as he proposed fervently, “let me be yours.”

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 

#lea’s writing #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova imagine #the darkling x you #the darkling imagine #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x y/n #general kirigan imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander x reader #aleksander x you #aleksander morozova #darkling x reader #darkling fanfic #darkling imagine #the darkling #netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader

[kasagia]

I'll be back for you

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: The Moon Summoner ran away with Alina from the Little Palace with the help of Kaz Brekker's crows. The group successfully escaped from Darkling's hands, but that doesn't mean he will forget about his Y/N. He's going to chase her until she is in his arms again. However, Mr. Brekker did not let his childhood friend disappear without a trace from his life again. He will protect her. For all costs. After all, she was his newest investment. Warning(s): Darkling, Kaz fights haphephobia (but not as severe for him ), reader argues with Baghra, reader has internal moral conflict, curses, fights, and their red aftermath, I used a quote from TVD and The Invisible Life of Addie Laurie because… they fit and I love them veeery much It's my first one-shot for both Darkling and Kaz, so please be gentle (I'm very nervous and excited at the same time to publish it) <3 Word count: 14k (too long, someone should take me away from the keyboard in the middle of this)

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 (end) ~•♤♤♤•~

Every night since you escaped with Alina and Genya with the help of your childhood friend Kaz and his crows from Ravka, you've been haunted by nightmares. No. Not the usual horrible flashbacks of your past in Ketterdam or the Little Palace.

HE visited you.

The Darkling. The Black Heretic. The man who promised to keep your heart safe and broke it in two along with your trust.

Genya has a right to warn you about powerful men. But you, the lost girl kidnapped by slave hunters from Ketterdam, the girl who has nothing to lose and was happy enough to somehow end up in the general's tent and find out about being one of the most powerful Grisha, didn't want to listen to her.

You foolishly believed that you, of all people, were able to charm the most dangerous man in all Ravka with your beauty, character and mind.

You believed that sweet words, longing glances and tender moments between you were real, that they meant something.

But it was all just a game. A game that brought him your affection and blind trust. And Kirigan, Darkling, or Alexander played in it like mastermind.

You should have listened to Genya. At least those damn dark eyes wouldn't haunt you every time you closed yours.

With the taste in men you have, you should have predicted that the first guy you hooked up with would be a psychopath. Fate could only be a little bit more favorable to you and not connect you to the hundreds-year-old black heretic who created the fold.

You've always had a weakness for villains and gray characters.

Your first teenage crush only proved it.

Because who else but you would fall in love with a bastard boy from the barrel who started his criminal career with the Dregs, who couldn't stand the touch of other people, and who wanted nothing more in his life than revenge on Pekka Rollins?

If I survive this shit, I really should find someone normal to be with.

You thought before you somehow managed to fall asleep for the first time in a month, hoping that your bond with the Darkling would weaken for those few hours when you tried to find peace.

~•♤♤♤•~

It was pure darkness around you. Not that one when all the lights went out and it's only you and your bed. No. They felt too familiar for you to confuse them with anything else. Those were his shadows.

He must have been near, playing with you as he always had.

You carefully took one step forward. The shadows parted in front of you, so you could see the ground. You bent down to your boot and pulled out a dagger, hiding it behind the sleeve of your blouse. You had to be ready for anything. Even if it meant fighting the shadow lord himself in your own subconscious. You sighed, stepping uncertainly into the darkness.

Your eyes quickly adjusted to the place around you, allowing you to move faster along the path. You recognized this bloody spot. The path in the woods you raced down when he took you for your first ride. Then he dragged you to HIS fountain, telling you nonsense about how it's only here among other Grishas that you discover your true self. He was already weaving his manipulative web around you, and you fell into it like an oblivious fly.

The snap of a twig stopped you. You looked around, not seeing anything at all except for the fountain in the distance. You flinched as his shadows gently pushed you forward.

"I'm not going to play another of your games, General!" you screamed as you spun around, walking forward. If he was already disturbing you, at least he might have had the honor to step out of the shadows.

"Call me Aleksander…"

You shivered as you felt his soft whisper against your neck. You spun, summoning your light and shooting into the space behind you. Unfortunately, it didn't encounter any Black Heretics on its way.

You huffed angrily, continuing your walk until you reached the fountain.

It was different than when he brought you here last time. The engravings have changed. They no longer told the story of the Black Heretic who created the fold. They were of you and Aleksander. Slowly falling in love.

"The union of darkness and his light." you felt your body tremble as the fabric of his kefta brushed your hand.

"I would never have taken you for such a sentimental fool." you turned to face him, taking a step back to increase the distance between you. With a very smug smirk, you noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes. Good. At least the son of a bitch suffers as much as you do. "Especially not after what Baghra had told me."

"My mother has the amazingly irritating gift of ruining my plans. She also doesn't like the people I care about much."

"Hmm… what a pity. Maybe if you weren't planning to use us as weapons in your plans, I'd care more. Also, don't try to tell me that there are people in this world who are more important to you than yourself. We both know I'm not going to fall for it again."

"I understand your resentment." you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief as you turned your gaze back to the fountain. "What's so funny?" you relished every irritated word directed at you. Maybe you couldn't seriously hurt him physically, but at least you could be a pain in his ass.

"I just forgot how easy it is for you to choose words that both tell the truth and work in your favor. Please, continue. I didn't truly laugh for a very long time."

"You're making a mistake." he stood next to you, grabbing your arm to turn you toward him.

You yanked your arm out of his grip as soon as your powers met in that familiar dance of dark and light. You both sighed, stunned by the sudden combination of your powers coursing through your veins. You opened your eyes, which you closed in the flow of the moment, meeting his tender, longing gaze. The man reached out to cup your cheek, but you pulled away from him before your skin had a chance to touch again.

"Funny. That's what I heard from your mother before she made me realize what shit I got into."

"One conversation with my mother, and you're ready to give it all up? Just because she was faster than me? Because she revealed a truth about me that she had no right to? What if I wanted to tell you right after I dealt with the group that wanted to attack you and Miss Starkov?" the grudge in his eyes only fueled your anger. He had no right to resent you for running away from him at the earliest opportunity when he had been hiding this important piece of his past for so long.

"What does it matter, general? None of it was real anyway." you growled, turning your back on him again so as not to reveal your hidden emotions to him. You didn't want him to know that you still cared. Indifference was a worse punishment for him than your wrath.

"So c'mon. Prove your point. Turn around, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you didn't feel anything towards me for even the slightest moment."

You wanted. You really did. To look directly into his soul-black eyes and say that he meant as much to you as the dust under your shoes. However, you both knew very well that it would be just a poor lie. And you both knew each other well enough to know when the other was lying.

"Just because my foolish heart longs for something, it doesn't mean I'll give in to its stupid desires. Wasn't you the one who told me that wanting makes us weak?"

"You should know I've changed my mind by now." the sound of leaves crunching under his boots was the only warning you got before you felt his presence behind you. "You. You are changing my mind."

"Don't tell me I have any influence over you. It's a poor play. You can do better, Kirigan."

"You and I may change the world, Y/N…" you flinched as you heard the exact same words he said here so many months ago. You turned to face him when you felt the coldness of one of his shadows wrapping around your leg. You pointed your dagger at the man standing only one, little step away from you. He didn't seem affected at all as you pointed the dagger at him. He didn't even look at it. His eyes were only on yours. "You may not see it now, too blinded by your righteous, but not entirely fair, anger at me, but deep down, you know that we are destined for greater things than others. You, me, and Alina together can be the strongest creatures in the world." 

"You know very well that we never wanted to live like this. Neither of us."

"Do you? Alina maybe doesn't want to be the Saint, but you, Y/N?" you took a step back and another as the black heretic approached you with his every word. He stood in front of you, letting the dagger you were holding in your trembling hands touch his chest. He smiled almost mockingly, seeing that your weapon against him was exactly the same one he gave you on your birthday, provoking your anger again. To spite him, you summoned wispy beams of white light that began to radiate from your hand to chase away his shadows.

"You don't know what I want." you growled, pressing the dagger harder against his heart to remind him that you were in control here. He could sneak into your dreams, but at night you were the most powerful Grisha in this bloody world. And even he had to reckon with your power.

"Yet I still see a desire in your eyes." you shifted your gaze to him, watching him silently and with hostility as his face was illuminated only by your powers. You were disgusted to find that, despite his betrayal, he was still equally handsome to you. "Not only for me but also for my power. You, my little moonlight, you want to be just like me. Strong, powerful, and ageless." he raised his hand deftly, dodging your dagger, and, under your watchful gaze, brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, stroking your cheek as he did so. He took a step towards you, causing you to press the blade against his neck as he got close enough to whisper in your ear. "You can run as far as you want, but you don't run from the truth that's inside you. And when you finally understand what you really want, I'll be there for you, waiting with open arms for my saint moon."

"Have fun waiting for this day, Morozova." you whispered, not giving in to his piercing gaze.

"I am a very patient man, after a thousand years on this earth, you will be too, Y/L/N."

"I'm not you, Aleksander. I don't wanna live forever, and I'm not gonna. I won't see the only people I truly love and care about die before me. Even eternity and unimaginable power are not worth it."

"They're still people you love and who can share this fate with you. Who will live long enough to be with you forever." one of his shadows began to wrap around your hand, forcing you to remove the dagger from his neck.

He leaned closer to you and rested his forehead against yours. You sighed, shivering as the scent of his familiar perfume enveloped you after so many weeks apart. You were tempted to give in to him again. And that dark desire in your heart terrified you more than the capabilities of the Black Heretic caressing your cheek.

"This isn't love. It was just a game. We were just playing a game. The same one you created a long time ago to earn my trust. But I'm no longer that naive girl who is desperate for somebody's attention and love. You made me stronger, crueler, ruthless. And believe me, general, I'll repay you for all you have done."

"You don't believe that. You can't have believed my mother that I am your villain so easily." in other circumstances, where your heart wasn't beating for his, you'd probably laugh at the desperation in his voice. But now that every fiber of you longed for the man before you, there was only one thing you could do.

"Then tell me, Aleksander..." you leaned in to him, rubbing his nose with yours as he closed his eyes and waited for your lips to finally touch after weeks of craving your slightest touch. "Why was I so tempted to do this?" you dug into his tempting mouth, giving you both what you needed.

In your head, you explained this crime against your friends as wanting to do what was originally intended to be your primary goal. The gentle prolongation of your longing, amazing, desperate kiss before you plunged the dagger into his side without the slightest hesitation wasn't your fault at all. Aleksander moaned into your lips, pulling away from you as he felt blood trickle down his side.

"Leave me alone, or I will make myself your villain." you whispered into his mouth before you somehow managed to get yourself out of your "dream".

~•♤♤♤•~

"Y/N?" Alina's soft whisper wakes you up. You opened your eyes, feeling how your chest was burning for fresh air and your heart beating faster than it should. The woman was sitting next to you, holding your hand.

In the corner of your eye, you can see Nina standing in the doorway of the room Kaz graciously assigned to you after you arrived in Ketterdam. You can swear on saints that Inej was looking through your window before she went - probably going to tell Kaz about your fourth nightmare this week.

And it was only Tuesday.

You felt attacked from all sides. If not Inej through the window, then the madmen through the door or in your dreams.

"What are you doing here? It's well after midnight." you asked her, gratefully accepting a towel from Nina to wipe the sweat from your face. Alina and Genya lived far from the club, in motels on opposite sides of the city.

"Just in case someone betrays us. At least one of you will save yourself if the Darkling comes to these parts."

Brekker's brilliant and preventive mind had already terrified you before you stepped off the boat onto the familiar land of Ketterdam. The fact that he thought through and arranged your accommodation before anyone could ask him was either another display of his otherworldly mind or a blatant act of arrogance and overconfidence in his strength against the Darkling. But you knew Kaz too well to assume that he underestimated the power of the Black Heretic even for a moment.

"Nice to see you too. Kaz sent for me."

"Since when does the sun summoner do all the Dreg king's orders?" you asked, making Nina laugh.

"Since the moon summoner is constantly skipping her bedtime. You have to sleep. You can't always be on Jesper's special energetic drinks." she scolded you like a little child, to which you snorted indignantly.

"I will take a gorgeous, lovely, very long nap right after we kill Kirigan. Before then, nobody can make me do that. And tell Kaz I remembered him as braver the last time we saw each other on your way back to the motel."

"We are just worried about you, Y/N. You slept the whole night only once since we left."

"Don't tell me you're surprised. If you were me, you would do the same."

"Maybe. But we both know you're stronger than me. I know you can beat him, and even if you can't do this alone, which I doubt…" she wrapped her hand around yours, making you look into her eyes again. "You must know I will always be by your side, like you by mine. It's you and me against the darkness, Y/N."

"You know, you've spent way too much time on that boat with your toughts. You sound like an old uncle giving good advice or something."

"Speaking of advice, if I were you, I wouldn't insult the only person who can wake you up from… this." Nina waved her hand in a circle, pointing to the miserable state you were in.

"You should see Kirigan. I stabbed him." you replied with a self-satisfied smirk, watching the heartrender gasp in shock and Alina shake her head in disapproval.

"What have I told you about starting unnecessary arguments with him and maiming him?"

"That this is a good way to vent my anger and frustration?" you asked innocently with a huge smile.

Alina drew breath to argue with you, but a knock on the door distracted her. You glanced at Jesper, peering into your room, and wrinkled your nose at the light-burnt sheets you and Alina had left.

"The boss wants you, moon girl."

"Not only him." you murmured, pulling the remnants of the quilt from yourself. You took your clothes out of the closet and turned to the people in the room with your hands on your hips. "Are you leaving or staying for the show?" Alina mumbled a silent apology, blushing in embarrassment as she left, along with a laughing Jesper and an amused Nina.

You sighed as you stood in front of the mirror and brushed away the sweaty hair that was stuck to your face. Thanks to Inej and Kirigan, it looks like you'll have a long conversation with Kaz about your safety again. Your friend was sometimes a bigger pain in the ass than you—an achievement that wasn't granted by you to just anyone.

"I just fucking hope you're writhing in pain right now." you muttered to yourself, not believing for a moment in the sincerity of what you just said.

~•♤♤♤•~

"You wanted me." you entered the Dirtyhands' office without knocking, taking a place of honor on one of the two comfortable armchairs in the room. Kaz didn't look up from his papers, but the slight crease of irritation on his forehead told you he had noticed your presence. You were surprised that, after years of separation, you could still read him easily. "It's rude to ignore your guest."

"It's rude to come in without knocking." he replied to your provocation, tracing something he had just written. You snorted in amusement, seeing that you managed to distract him.

"Well, I didn't come here for no reason. You sent Jes for me."

"Jes?" a diminutive you used for his sharpshooter, has earned the man's attention. He gave you a questioning look, throwing the papers on his desk.

"What? Can't I make a friend other than you?"

"I'm your boss." he hummed, getting his cane up from his desk and walking to his dresser. You rolled your eyes as you watched the man's back. The son of a bitch knew perfectly well that you hated it when he didn't look at you during a conversation.

"Sure, if it helps you sleep, tell yourself what you want, Brekker."

"You live at my club, sleep here, eat with my crows, and waste my time taking some useless gossip from downstairs." he enumerated, turning over his things and searching persistently for something.

"And I'd been doing this for four years before you became Mr. Scary Dirtyhands from the Barrel. You just proved my point, Kazzle. We are friends."

You got up from your chair and stood next to him. You glanced at the contents of his drawer and frowned, noticing something familiar. You reached for a small silver box with his REAL initials on it, but the man slammed the drawer shut before you could get your hands on the find. You snorted indignantly as you noticed the smug smirk on his face as he nearly clipped your fingers for your meddling.

Kaz Brekker was sentimental enough to keep the ashtray you gave him.

You involuntarily remembered what you told him when you handed it to him.

"I know you don't smoke and don't celebrate your birthday, but I think that's a pretty nice metaphor and the closure you need."

"What? An old ashtray from the market? Which you probably swept from under the noses of some heavy smokers."

"No, genius, in case you haven't noticed, it has a special engraving. Read it."

"For K.R., let him rest in peace. What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can consider it what you want. A keepsake of your former self, a lost life you might have had, an urn for the ashes of your former self... we both know you're not the same man you used to be. And you have every right to be, Kaz. It's just... I think you deserve something commemorating your old self. The boy who stole half-rotten apples with me to survive. Now you are someone else—someone stronger, wiser, cunninger... but know that I will never forget Kaz, who was my only light when I was at my worst."

"That's pretty sentimental for you. Also, calling me light is not quite an appropriate metaphor." he replied coolly, returning to his book.

You nodded to him, saying goodbye. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him stroke a silver object for a moment and put it in his pants pocket. You smiled. Apparently, you weren't the only sentimental fool in Ketterdam.

"Then, as my friend, you won't mind telling me about that strange connection between you and the Darkling that keeps you from sleeping without threatening to set my club on fire with your dazzling moonlight?" he asked, snapping you out of your flashback.

"No, because, as my friend, you won't be nosy, and out of politeness, you won't ask."

"I anticipated this reaction. That's why I got this." a velvet ring box magically appeared in his hands.

"Are you going to propose to me? Oh, Kazzie, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! You don't have to kneel, sweetheart. We can call Jes, and he'll do it for you. It's a perfect opportunity for him to practice before asking Wylan."

"Can you be serious for just one moment, please?" he asked, blushing slightly and trying to give you one of his famous menacing looks.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides, you could have foreseen in that plan of yours that I would never waste such an opportunity."

"Just open it." he sighed, tossing you the box. Too curious to find out what was inside, you decided to leave the poor boy alone and refrained from commenting further. You widened your eyes as you saw the real ring. "What? No enthusiastic and loud: "Yes, Kazzie, I'll marry you!", so my crows can tease me about it too? To be honest, I'm disappointed, Y/N."

"Well, I could have been joking about it when I didn't have a ridiculously beautiful ring in front of me. Sorry that I'm a little confused, Kaz."

"It's good you like it, but I'd rather know if it works as it should. Put it on your finger."

"As romantic as always." you murmured, trying on a silver ring with an opal and small diamonds around the stone. You raised your hand and, by using your power, increased the light reflected by the moon that was still in the sky so it could illuminate your new jewelry. "It's beautiful, but I have absolutely no idea what it is supposed to do."

"Protect you." you glanced back at Kaz, only to discover that he had been staring at you the entire time. The white sparkles in his eyes caused by your light captivated you more than the shining diamonds. You shook your head, remembering what happened the last time you gave in to your stupid crush.

"Protect me?"

"I've been doing some research with Alina and Nina about the bond between you and him, the amplifiers… we believe this will weaken the bond between you enough for you to sleep peacefully. He will not enter your mind uninvited." he said, spitting out the words about the Darkling like he was a plague. But you were more interested in something quite different from his open dislike of the Black Heretic.

"Why? Why are you getting through all of it for me? It's not your war to fight. You have no interest in it."

"I have. Since I got you out of the Little Palace, you've been my investment. And I protect everything I invest in and what's worth my time. No matter what."

"You do realize I won't bring you any profit? Alina would be a better choice than me." you questioned his choice. Kaz turned to the window, as if looking for Inej, whose arrival would interrupt this uncomfortable conversation.

Unfortunately for him, the saints had no watch over him. And one of them was waiting for him to gather his thoughts and answer her question. He had to do this without betraying the emotions that had been bubbling up inside him since he had first seen her at one of the Dreg's raids. He was lost the second he saw her and completely fated to love her after their first conversation.

But she couldn't know it.

She couldn't know that his heart was gone with her and that it took him ages to find himself after she disappeared. He promised himself to keep her away from him. To make sure he wouldn't fall for her beauty, mind, eyes, smile, and laugh like he had done as a child. But the second he saw her again, he knew that his heart was hers. Hers to keep, hold, break, play.

But she couldn't know it.... At least not now. Not when he had just snatched her from the Darkling's grasp.

Not when he wasn't ready to love her the way she should be loved.

"That's for me to evaluate and for you to make sure I won't regret this. Besides, I only invest in one-of-a-kind. I don't need more narcissistic saints to go into my office like it was their own." he said after a long silence, without taking his eyes off the window.

He was afraid that his eyes would betray the truth hidden in his stupid heart. He was grateful to all above that she wasn't a heartrender and couldn't feel his treacherous heart beating madly every time he looked at her. He just had to make sure Nina didn't reveal his little secret. He didn't know that the woman had been blackmailed into a similar case by the moon summoner.

"So I'm pretty lucky. I would die if I had to sleep on those inconvenient motel beds."

"Considering how much sleep you actually get, you're unlikely to notice a difference." you gasped, feigning indignation at the mischievous, amused tone of his voice.

"You're a cruel bastard, Kaz Brekker." he finally turned to you with a small smirk on his face. You giggled, only widening his smile.

"Go and check your ring. I hope you won't be threatened by any ugly faces."

"Yes, boss." you saluted, walking towards the door. You opened it and were about to leave when an idea popped into your head. You leaned against the door frame, looking at the man taking his place at the desk. "Kazzie?" you asked sweetly, biting your lip to keep from laughing too soon. The Bastard of the Barrel gave you a questioning look, fearing the familiar tone of your voice and the question coming. "As your fiancée, am I going to get half of your club?"

"Over my dead, cold body." he replied without a second of hesitation, perfectly prepared for such a provocation from your side.

"You know, you need to work on sharing if you plan to be husband material in the future. I feel sorry for your future spouse, unless it'll be your job."

"Go to sleep before I put you in bed myself."

"You should know better than to scare me with a good time, sweetheart!" you shouted back, leaving and pushing your way through the crowd of a few shocked Dregs who had probably heard the part about the fiancée and whom Kaz called to his office as soon as he saw them.

And as soon as he is done with them, Kaz will rip your legs out of your pretty ass. Even Alina and Nina will not be able to help you.

~•♤♤♤•~

The ring worked great. From that night on, you slept like a baby every day. The Darkling's face appeared only occasionally in your nightmares (both bloody ones and… more pleasant ones). But it wasn't REALLY him. Just a messed-up version of your sick imagination.

In the meantime, you trained with Alina and Nina (the woman needed the presence of other Grishas in Brekker's gang; besides, she was an amazing friend, and she also made wonderful waffles); you developed your powers; and you two gossiped with Genya, as she changed your looks every week so that no one would accidentally recognize you (by the way, you learned that David was heading this way to reunite with the love of his life).

You became close to Jes (you had the honor of being trained with HIS PISTOLS) and Inej, whose comforting company was invaluable (as well as the rooftop stealth lessons. Kaz cursed her after the first time you scared him by climbing through his office window and giving you a barrier. Of course you had your mind, and you didn't listen to him. Your unexpected visits to his office only became more frequent.)

So you could say that everything was on its way back to normality.

But it wasn't. Because one fine day, when the crows, Kaz, you, Alina, and Genya were eating breakfast at his club, someone showed up at your door.

Someone you didn't want to see more than the Darkling himself.

"What the fuck is she doing here, if I may culturally ask?" Alina gave you an apologetic look as Baghra walked casually into the crows' kitchen like she belonged here. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kaz taking any sharp metal objects from the table that you might have used to attack the woman.

You and Baghra had a rough relationship. Due to the fact that you and Aleksander were something, the woman did not look at you very favorably. You had no intention of fawning over a woman who wanted to kill her own son, either. Maybe your feelings for the Darkling were... unclear, but you wouldn't wish anyone, not even your worst enemy, a mother who was willing to stand against her own child, to spurn him instead of doing... anything to help him out of his darkness. It was not in line with your moral views. But no one here seemed to care since they invited the mother of Satan to your table.

"It's nice to see you too, Y/N."

"I don't even have enough respect for you to lie to you and admit that seeing you didn't ruin my day. I will ask one last time..." you got up from the table, shielding Kaz and the crows as you summoned your power. "What are you doing here?"

"My son is looking for you all over the world, do you think I won't try to get to you first before he does?"

"Oh, you've already shown how much you care about outdoing Kirigan in reaching us. I'm asking you, what do you want from us?"

"I came here for you. Because of you, child." you stiffened slightly, wondering what else the old woman had to say. But you would die before admitting that Baghra's help would be invaluable to your little band of rebels. Your pride was both your greatest strength and weakness.

"Well, excuse me, but I have more important things to do than listen to some old lady's ravings. I haven't finished my breakfast yet, and I'm far too sober for another conversation about how everyone wants to use me as a weapon."

"Every day I'm less surprised by how you ended up with my son. You two are a perfect match for each other." she snapped, annoyed at your indifferent attitude.

"I'd suggest you get to the point. You were the one who wanted to meet with us. As our moon summoner mentioned, we don't have to listen to you. And trust me, I have absolutely no intention of stopping her when she wants to kick you out of my club." Kaz stood next to you, measuring the woman with a watchful gaze.

You were proud that he believed in your and Alina's powers and wasn't afraid to provoke the shadow summoner in your presence. You cast a fleeting glance at him, watching as Baghra gave him an appraising look.

"Mr. Breaker. It would be better for you and your club if work with the summoners of the sun and moon ended in Ravka. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

"I never make ill-considered decisions, and certainly not out of fear." he replied with his poker, business face.

"This is only a trait of the greatest winners or greatest losers."

"You don't have to worry about him. Mr. Brekker is always on the winning team." you answered for him, having had enough of this woman. Unfortunately, it looked like she wouldn't be leaving you so soon.

"Turn that light out, girl, before the Grishas swarm here. I won't hurt your boyfriend and his friends." you frowned as you heard Jes coughing in the background, trying not to laugh. With a wave of your hand, the white light around you vanished. You watched in displeasure as a smirk began to form on Baghra's lips.

"He is/I am not my/her boyfriend." together with Kaz, you both uttered these words as Baghra pushed past you. This caused you to turn to one another and exchange equally awkward, perplexed looks.

"Whatever, just get your lovebird butts over here." she murmured as she unfolded the map on the table and took a few items out of her bag. You snorted at seeing a small wooden statue of Aleksander.

It was going to be a long and tiring morning.

~•♤♤♤•~

"We have to hurry before your boy gets here. Good thing he is walking with the cane, at least it keeps him from sneaking up on us." Baghra growled at you. She'd only been here a week, and she'd already ruled everyone. You were no longer surprised at where Aleksander inherited his incredible self-confidence and arrogance.

"For the love of God, I'm telling you for the last time, KAZ IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND. Besides, if I were you, I wouldn't underestimate him. You could actually learn from him. You'll need a cane soon, too."

"Can you two just stop arguing for once and focus on the task at hand?" the sun summoner lingered, following you to the basement of the Crow Club.

"I'm sorry, Alina, that I'd rather banter with that witch than figure out how to seduce her son, lull his guard down, pluck the antlers of a wonderful steg out of his hand, and break the link between us once and for all."

"Start by undoing a few buttons on your blouse and letting your hair down; that should be enough for him to lose his mind." she advised you, making you and Alina shudder, both equally abashed.

"Seriously?" you asked mockingly, giving her a disgusted look. Nevertheless, you followed the woman's suggestion. "What is the next step? Shall I wear some nice underwear?"

"Not necessarily, but it would be nice to take off that ring. I doubt Aleksander would appreciate that someone other than himself gave you such gaudy jewelry." you snorted, taking off the only thing keeping the Darkling from crossing the walls of your mind.

You bypassed Baghra's outstretched hand and handed the ring to Alina. The older woman snorted indignantly at what you stuck your tongue out at. She didn't expect you to trust her with anything, even something as small as Kaz's ring, right?

"Done. What's next?"

"You need to make a connection. Every time he thinks of you or you think of him, you seek each other out and make a link. Imagine his face, voice, and silhouette; recall some memory associated with him; do anything to have him in front of your eyes. It should work and take you to where he is now. Just like when you two were getting into each other's dreams before Mr. Brekker gave you this ring."

"I did not seek him of my own free will. It just happened." you defended yourself, not wanting anyone to think you were looking for the Darkling like a lost puppy.

"You know him. He will continue to invade your thoughts and your life to convince you of the error of your ways and choices. This ring can work now, but what happens when you two get stronger in the future? It will stop working. You will be condemned to endure his pervasive presence. In the morning, afternoon, nights, and midnights. He won't let you go. Never. You cannot extract the stag from your own body. So you must find a way to block him permanently. Not by some magic ring."

You sighed, realizing she was right. You will be free of him only when any bond between you is gone. The only thing you were afraid of was that it existed between you and the Darkling long before you killed the stag...

Darkness and its light. Moon and shadow. Destined to be together. United at the end of the day.

"And what if I fail and he chokes me, stabs me, or just uses the cut on me?"

"We will observe the energy around you. If we see too many shadows or your light, we'll pull you out."

"All right. Let's get this over with." you sat down, leaning against the wall of the Crow Club basement, praying to all of Inej's mighty saints that your plan would work.

You closed your eyes, remembering the moment before your big performance at the winter fete.

You had to pretend that you didn't know Kaz, and then you had no idea what he was doing here wearing one of the soldiers uniforms. He promised to explain everything to you, but then Aleksander came.

"I'll take her from here." he said to Kaz, letting him know that he was no longer needed.

But he has not left you. Aleksander ignored him, examining your kefta carefully. It was beautiful. Genya decorated it with silver threads and embroidered stars and moons in different phases. However, the fact that probably delighted him the most was its black (but actually dark navy blue) color. But he didn't care about the true color of your kefta as long as it looked black to any other observer.

A clear signal that you were his moon.

"I have something for you." he whispered as he leaned closer to you so that your noses were practically touching. He pulled something shiny out of his sleeve. He held the silver chain up to your eye level so you could see the pendant. Moon with a star. You shifted your gaze from the shiny object to those mesmerizing black eyes staring at you in pure adoration. "I know you're practically festooned with these symbols, but I wanted you to know..." he interrupted, brushing your hair over one shoulder so he could place the necklace over your neck. He planted a quick, tender kiss on your nape as he clicked the silver jewelry. "That you're not just a Saint Y/N, summoner of the moon. You're mine moonlight in the worst darkness of mine. My hope and peace. The only light I let through my shadows."

You grabbed the pendant, noticing your initials carved into the back of the moon.

"It's beautiful." you turned in his arms to whisper in his ear, making him shiver as you kissed his earlobe. "Aleksander..."

~•♤♤♤•~

You opened your eyes.

A dim light illuminated Kirigan's war room.

You did it. Now all you had to do was seduce him. Piece of cake.

You let yourself watch him flick through some papers, wrinkling his nose and occasionally running a hand through his hair. The exact same one with the stag antler still stuck in it. You shook your head, remembering your task. You had to outsmart him. And in such a wise way that it didn't cross his mind that you might have bad intentions towards him.

"Aleksander." you whispered as you stepped out of the shadows. The man either really didn't notice you or he was a brilliant actor, judging by the pure shock that painted his face the moment he turned to meet your gaze. "You seem surprised to see me."

"I am." his mask of indifference and self-confidence quickly fell back into place. "But perhaps I shouldn't be. I should have known you'd prove to be an apt pupil. Not many can learn that trick." he placed the papers on the desk and leaned against it. "But after our last meeting, I had the impression that you didn't want to see me again. What changed your mind to seek me out?"

"I hate to say this, but I realized you were right."

"How so?" he began to watch you with interest, too curious to know what you were going to say to repay you for stabbing him last time. The fact that he didn't pounce on you with his shadows the moment he saw you gave you an odd sense of confidence. Maybe you could have made it.

"I was meant for more. And you were the first person to see me as I truly am. First to help me realize what I'm meant for. First to tech me how to use my power and how to see it as something more incredible than terrifying. First to see, I was more than a scared little girl. That I was powerful Grisha and I can do anything I want." with every word you said and every step you took towards him, you could see his mask crack open, revealing his true emotions. However, there was still a shadow of uncertainty and suspicion in his eyes. You had to remove it if you wanted to win this battle.

"Was I? And what about Alina? Or your helpful friends that take you away from Little Palace?" you hoped you didn't show that his words affected you. You were afraid that somehow he might have discovered a little help from Kaz and his crows.

"They… they don't understand the power growing within me. I thought that Alina might share my feelings, but … it seems to me that we understand our possibilities completely differently when it comes to our powers. And my friends… I think they're more afraid of what I can do than admire it as… as you did."

"That's not their fault. I did try to warn you. Tried to explain that with so much power that flows in our veins, usually comes fear from the side of our loved ones."

"I know. I think I'm starting to finally understand that now." you took one slow step towards him, feeling his watchful gaze on you. "There are no others like us, and they never will be. We are connected by our powers. Alina can live without us, but you and me… you and me are destined to work together and to stand by our sides. There is no darkness without light, but it's the moon that brings it into the night and that lives among the shadows, working with them… Like calls to like, right, Aleksander?"

In his eyes, you could see how much he wanted to believe you, how much he wanted the words you said to be true... but you knew that Aleksander lived too long to believe only empty words. He needed conclusive proof that you were on his side and that you were only his moon. And you had to convince him somehow.

"As I delighted as I am that you found your way to me, what do you want?"

"That thing that binds us. I think you fear it more than you actually care to admit."

"I fear everything there is to fear; it makes me strong. I understand things about power that you've had years yet to learn, moonlight."

"Well, as you said, with a good teacher, I'm a very apt pupil. But I think we both know… that it's not all about power, though, is it?" you walked the distance between you two and stood chest-to-chest with him. "What about the other bond we share? That one I was avoiding for too long." you slowly cup his cheek, making him close his eyes at the touch of your soft skin. You tenderly stroked one of his black scars on his cheek, which made the Black Heretic sighe in relief. "I want you, Aleksander." he opened his eyes, looking at you in disbelief when he tried to seek any sight of lies on your face. "And being in your presence terrifies me as much as making me feel… like I finally belonged somewhere. Like I was made by saints to be next to you. It felt... right in some crazy way."

"Love is for madmen, Y/N. And I've already told you…" you shivered as his cold fingertips touched the hot skin of your neck. His fingers went to the silver necklace—your only sin against your friends. He took the pendant in his hands and kissed it, not taking his eyes off yours. "You're my moonlight. Nothing has changed, and I doubt it ever will... for both of us."

You pulled him by the hair to connect your lips in a long-awaited kiss, too annoyed with how long you had to work him out. (Or too scared that his words are true.) You moaned as he bit your lips, and in one sweeping motion, he scooped you up off the floor and sat you on his desk.

He pulled away from you, dropping his kefta on the floor, and went back to kissing you as if you were the only one that mattered in this world. But the next amplifier's whereabouts map you laid on as he kissed your soul out of you was a glaring reminder that you could never have truly had him.

You would never be his first choice.

"Forgive me for stabbing you, then." you whispered into his mouth as you broke apart for a moment to catch your breath. He pressed into you more fervently than before, caressing your waist tenderly.

"I will have kissed these tempting, sweet lips, even if it means I'll get stabbed by you, every time I do it."

That was good to know, you thought, throwing your arms around his shoulders and slowly pulling out the dagger from your sleeve as he continued to kiss you greedily, like he wanted to sate himself with you while he still had you in his arms.

"Your words, not mine." you murmured, catching his mouth with yours while driving the dagger into his hand. He snarled, breaking away from you and trying in vain to yank the metal out of your hand. You tried to pry the last stag's bone out of him.

But suddenly, just as you were about to do it, you find yourself back in the basement of the Crows Club.

You were breathing fast, frantically looking around the room. Kaz was kneeling a step away from you and watching you worriedly as you tried to calm down.

From the cane that was on your leg and his firm grip on your arm, you figured out pretty quickly why you suddenly came back. You yanked your arm from his hand in your anger, forgetting his phobia of touch and how much of an achievement it was for him to hold your arm.

"What the hell, Brekker?! I had him! I could end this right there! UGH! Why did you let him break our connection?!" you screamed in frustration, looking resentfully at Alina and Baghra.

"You nearly blew yourself out with your power, and they couldn't bring you back."

"I had it under control, Kaz!"

"Oh, really?" he asked mockingly, struggling to his feet with the help of his cane and walking over to you with equal anger painted in his eyes. "Because it didn't look good from my point of view. You could have blown up the whole club..."

"Of course you would only care about your stupid, fucking club! Forgive me, Dirtyhands. Next time I'm going to save the damn world from the Darkling, I'll pick up a place other than one of your fucking bases!" you yelled at him, pushing past a shocked Alina and Baghra.

"Y/N, come back here!" he shouted after you. The distinctive sound of his cane told you he was following you.

"I'm not your fucking property, Brekker! I can go anywhere I want!" you screamed, running as fast and far for him as you could, thanking everyone above that Brekker wasn't able to catch up with you. You needed a moment to yourself. And you only knew one place in all of Ketterdam where you could be truly alone.

~•♤♤♤•~

For a long time, you hated harbour. It was a reminder of your weakness—a reminder of a girl who got kidnapped by slave hunters. Then you met Aleksander and became one of the strongest Grisha. From then harbour was for you to remind you of the birth of Saint Y/N. Moon summoner. It was funny for you to see how easy it is to get on the ship and go anywhere you want. Be anyone you want. But you don't have this choice anymore. Not until your past stops chasing you whenever you close your eyes.

"I knew you'd be here." Kaz's voice below you made you shiver, but you didn't grace him with your gaze. "You'd be too merciful to me by choosing an easily accessible spot, wouldn't you?" he grumbled as he clambered next to you on the crates of goods. He sighed as he managed to climb up. He tossed his cane, catching it spectacularly and resting it against the crate beneath you. He leaned forward, staring out at the harbour with you, when the wind blew his hair, messing up his always perfectly styled hairdo.

"Nobody made you follow me around, Kazzle." you murmured, casting a fleeting glance at him, grinning mischievously at how tired he was of climbing crates. Someone here was in bad shape. Brekker must sit with these plans and papers for too long.

"I did." you turned your head to meet his piercing gaze. "I already told you. I take care of my investments."

"Maybe you're making a mistake."

"I'm never mistaken. I know when and how much to invest in something valuable."

"But what if I'm a lost cause? What if you're wrong this time? Why do you think I'm done with the Darkling? Me and him have so much in common... what if I become like him? Are you not afraid? That one day, in my naiveté, I'd decide Kirigan was worth a second chance and betray you? That one day I'll stop controlling my power and that I'll hurt you? How can you sit here so calmly and..."

"Because I know you better than myself. I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you."

You swallowed, looking down in embarrassment. You didn't deserve this.

"I get caught up in it sometimes. That I return with memories to the Little Palace. I wonder what I could have done differently to prevent all this. How could I reason with him, what could I do to dissuade him from his plans. How to behave, what to say out loud, and what to keep to yourself. And I'm furious with Baghra that, being his mother, she didn't fight for him to the end; she gave up before we could do ANYTHING for him together. And I curse myself every time I feel guilty, knowing that I left him utterly alone. So tell me, Kaz, knowing now all these doubts growing within me, do you still believe in me?"

The killing silence told you everything you wanted to know.

"Come on. Go right ahead, Kazzie. Call me a fool, an idiot who wants to believe that everyone deserves someone close, someone they can trust. Who stupidly believes in giving people a second chance." you said, afraid to look up to see the revulsion in the eyes of the only person you could always count on.

Kaz said your name, but you ignored him completely, feeling tears slowly welling up in your eyes. Suddenly you felt the cold steel crow's head of his cane under your chin. Brekker forced you to look into his eyes. And you thanked all the saints for the tenderness that was still present in them.

"You know, I don't think that about you. You are a Grisha. The moon summoner. The only beacon of hope in the darkness. I think that in your job description lies faith even in the most deprived, lost, and broken souls."

"I didn't know that poetic side of you, Brekker."

"I've changed since the last time you saw me."

"Really?" you asked, nodding at his gloves and cane. He caught your eye, gripping the crow's head tighter. "Hey. You have every right to do that, Kaz, okay? I was kidding, and I didn't know it was still a sensitive subject. I'm sorry. Apart from that, I can name more. For example, you still have a stick in your ass when it comes to pranks. It was too easy to get on your nerves with Jes." you said, trying to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

"Looking now at you, it's better for humanity that you haven't become a saint. Saints, protect some wretch who would have asked you for help." you smiled at him, glad he understood your intentions.

"Now, I feel hurt, Kazzie. Wouldn't you pray to me if they hung my holy image up here somewhere?" you asked, offended, putting your hand over your heart.

He knew he would spend hours, days, and weeks praying to her, only to see her face again and hear the voice of the Saint of his heart...

"No. No saint has ever watched over me. It wouldn't make sense to pray to you either. Especially since I knew you personally before you became a mighty Grisha."

"Well, I'm no saint yet, but since I'm your newest investment, I guess that means I'm supposed to serve you in some way. And since I'm not going to be your errand dog or spy crow, I guess a good compromise would be if I became your bodyguard. Then you can't say that there's no saint watching over you."

"I don't need a guardian angel."

"It's good then that I'm far from being an angel." you stared at each other, the wind blowing your hair, as you enjoyed the understanding between you and the unspoken acknowledgment of your closeness.

Kaz Brekker could not have a weakness. This city would use it against him very quickly. But he felt that perhaps his weakness could be powerful enough to be his greatest asset instead of his darkest burden. Maybe he didn't have to worry about her that much.

"Ketterdam was boring without you. It was also harder to work without your… skills." he said uncertainly, averting his gaze from your piercing, mesmerizing eyes.

"Is that your way to tell me you missed me?" you were teasing him and pushing his cane. He almost fell over when you broke his only support. You almost couldn't prevent yourself from laughing.

"We could have gained much more kruge if you had been here."

"I didn't want to leave." you whispered, involuntarily remembering the day they kidnapped you.

"I know." he leaned towards you, forcing you to look into his eyes. "You don't have to worry about them. I made sure they were six feet deep underground before you even set foot in Ketterdam." your heart warmed at the thought that he was chasing them for you.

He made sure you were 100% safe and comfortable before he brought you back home. Home. You didn't think you'd find him among the crows, thieves, and the Dreg Club. You didn't think you'd feel this way about him—one of the men whose lifestyle was far from normal and safe.

"You're getting soft in your old age, Brekker." you replied with a half smile, holding back unwanted tears. You weren't that weak girl anymore. You were Grisha. And thanks to the man sitting next to you, you were (almost) free. You grabbed his cane, right next to the crow's head, where Kaz's hands were. His gaze flicked to where your hands were so close together. He turned his head to meet your watery eyes. "Thank you, Kaz. For everything. It means a lot to me. Even if it was foolish to break into the Darkling's palace and kidnap us like sacks of potatoes."

"It was the perfect plan! Nobody noticed us." he was indignant, immediately defending his action.

"Yeah, but what I and Alina get hit with every time Jesper and you steer that wooden cart over rocks is ours. You could really choose a path that wasn't made of stones."

"Next time, it's up to you to make a plan to escape the 500-year-old shadow summoner. We'll see how you do." he snorted, offended, but didn't move an inch. Contrary. His hand moved closer to yours, wrapping precariously around yours on his cane.

"Less than a week back in Ketterdam, and you're already letting me into your plans? Aww, I love you too, Kazzie."

He would give all the kruge of this world to hear those words from you for the rest of his life... and it surprised him that he wasn't afraid to admit it to himself at all.

"And I almost forgot how annoying you can be."

"Don't worry. I have all the time in the world to shrink your inflated ego and remind you of that, boss." Kaz held his breath. He stared at you searchingly, trying to find in your face the answer to whatever question he was asking in his head. You unknowingly scooted closer to each other so that your shoulders rested against each other.

You were much closer to each other before. Kaz (on his good days) even felt comfortable hugging you for a while. After years apart, you thought it would take ages for him to get used to your presence again and the brief touch without going underwater with Jordi.

But you were here. Holding hands, leaning against each other, and staring into each other's eyes.

You shivered as you felt his breath against your cheek when he leaned a little closer to you, testing his border.

"You're shining." he whispered softly, hypnotized, afraid to break the silence between you.

"What?"

"Your eyes are shining." his trembling hand took your cheek as you were watching him speechless. Even in your wildest dreams, you wouldn't suppose he would hold you like that. He truly changed. He beat Pekka, and now the King of Ketterdam was fighting with his demons. You were so proud of him and also sad that you weren't with him at the beginning of his road to healing. "And the light is coming out of your skin. You're shining like a star for lost souls."

"You're not lost... not anymore." you whispered, your voice trembling, fully understanding what he had left unsaid.

"I was. But now the moonlight is lighting up Ketterdam's darkness again."

"Kaz... I..." you held your breath, staring at him in anticipation. You didn't know what for. All you knew was that taking your eyes off him for even a second was an unforgivable crime.

Your noses were almost touching, your lips were the closest you've known each other. And Kaz was as calm as if he'd never had a haphephobia. As if the situation with Jordi never happened. You were afraid his waters would finally rise, interrupting your moment, but as soon as your foreheads touched, all the logical thoughts in your head went to hell. It was just you and him.

And you would still enjoy that closeness if the sound of breaking glass and Jesper's curses hadn't driven you apart.

"Here you are! How the hell did you get in there?! Get down! We're leaving in half an hour!" Jesper shouted to you from below and disappeared as quickly as he appeared. You cleared your throat, realized what Jes said after a long moment.

"We are leaving?" you asked, surprised. Bastard didn't say a word about going anywhere.

"Yes. I'll explain everything to you on the ship." he gave you a brush-off as he began his downward journey.

"On the ship? Kaz, what have you planned?!" you shouted angry as you followed him.

~•♤♤♤•~

"This is the dumbest plan ever made, and believe me, I've been to more than one of his idiotic ideas." you said, pointing at the offended Kaz.

Your great friends (and Baghra) have decided to sneak into the Darkling's palace, steal his maps and war plans, and set the Little Palace on fire.

You started to doubt their good sanity... or sobriety.

"Sooner or later, we have to sneak in there. Aleksander has stolen from me all the books and records of our ancestors; he is in possession of immense power, and we can not allow him to make use of it." you clenched your fists, almost ready to pounce on the woman for revealing the Darkling's true name.

"Who is Aleksander?" you ignored Kaz's question, nervously twirling the ring he gave you on your finger.

"Was he able to steal something from YOU? And you let him do it? How surprised I am."

"What are you implying?"

"I implying that we are in some huge coach driven by your men, leaving Ketterdam on your initiative and entering the lion's mouth because you said so. In my place, you'd be suspicious too."

"The odds of me betraying you are as high as the odds that you will."

"And why is that?" you hissed, furious at how easily she got on your nerves.

"Aleksander has a knack for manipulating people. A few sweet words, and even your boyfriend won't be able to count on your devotion anymore."

"Watch your mouth. I'm not her boyfriend." Kaz growled, tensing up next to you, thereby stopping your quarrel. Baghra shrugged, continuing her quiet conversation with Alina. In your mind, you were planning the old lady's slow death until someone's hand grabbed yours in a strong grip.

You turned your head towards Kaz. He stared blankly out the window, completely ignoring your gaze. Instead, he started drawing circles on your palm, trying to calm you down somehow. You turned your head in the opposite direction, smiling to yourself at the tender gesture. Unbeknownst to you, Kaz had the same smirk as yours on his face.

The rest of the trip to the city was uneventful. As planned, Alina and you stayed in Baghra's secret stash while the rest went off to play heroes. Your job was to distract the Darkling, and Alina was supposed to watch over you.

You'd agree to their plan if your role wasn't just to stand by while others risked their lives trying to get the information you all needed.

But you decided not to argue with the others about it this time. After all, they couldn't control you once you got into the palace. You might as well have snooped around, looked for what you needed, and done most of the work for them. Closing your eyes and getting ready to connect with the Darkling, you only hoped that your little disobedience would go unnoticed.

~•♤♤♤•~

You just finished searching Kirigan's study, war room, and bedroom. You were on your way to the last room - the library, when you bumped into the one person you wanted to avoid.

You were paralysed as soon as you saw him walking down the hall. You hoped he wouldn't look in your direction, but the general (alert as always) glanced at you briefly before disappearing from your view. You had the faintest hope that he would think you were a vision, but all of it vanished when you felt a hand gently wrap around your neck and pin you against the wall.

"You either have too much free time or you enjoy haunting me at random times, little moon." you didn't answer, too scared that the moment he touched you, all your power took on a life of its own, merging with his shadows, as it usually does when your skins meet for the first time after a long separation. You were defenceless. Kirigan frowned, watching you with growing interest. "Speechless? Not any irritating responses? Do you fear me, Y/N?" his taunts brought you to your senses, forcing you to calm down immediately. You couldn't wait for Alina to be rescued. You had to fight him yourself.

"That's what you want, isn't it? To have everyone and everything under control, too scared to say or do anything against you."

"Fear is a powerful ally and also loyal."

"Not as loyal and lasting as love, trust, respect." you tried to break free from his grip, but all attempts to remove his hand from your neck proved futile. You were lucky that instead of tightening the grip and cutting off your air, he just wrapped his other arm around your waist, pulling you closer so that your faces were mere millimetres apart. "We could have had it, Aleksander. All of it. All you had to do was set me free and make me your equal."

"You'll come to feel it towards me someday. For now… even though I truly want to, I have no time for you, moonlight. Your friends are waiting for me. But don't get the wrong impression…" he leaned towards you, stroking your cheek tenderly as he whispered in your ear. "I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me."

You shivered as he kissed your temple, making this terrifying promise to you. At some point, his shadows enveloped you completely and sent you back to the room where you and Alina were hiding.

And after one look at the sun summoner, you both knew what you had to do.

~•♤♤♤•~

You couldn't remember the last time you ran so fast in your entire life. It must have been back in your Ketterdam days, doing some little errands for the Dregs.

But this time, you weren't running to save your life. You ran to save Kaz Brekker's ass, who was the only one (not counting Inej, who was already hidden somewhere with Alina, waiting for you in harbour) who didn't return from his mission. As you expected, everything went to hell without you, and if you and Alina hadn't arrived, half of the crows (including Baghra) would have been captured by Aleksander's grishas. You wouldn't feel sorry for the old woman, but Alina insisted on saving her.

Jes, Wylan, Nina and Baghra searched other parts of the Little Palace, trying to burn everything in their path. You could still make it. If only Brekker hadn't gotten lost in the meantime. You knew you should go with him. You've always been a team player, and pairing you with Alina for this mission and leaving you behind was their worst idea.

You promised yourself that the next time you'd strap that risky idiot to your hip.

That's why you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw him at the end of the corridor. But instead of running up to him and yelling at him for his thoughtlessness, you hid in the shadows as he backed away slowly. Someone had to catch him. You caught his eye for a moment, glad he noticed you and started to head your way. Thanks to this, you could assassinate his attacker and try to escape from the palace.

Piece of cake. If he wasn't talking to a fucking Darkling.

"I know you kidnapped my moon summoner. Now you're going to tell me where you stashed her." you cursed internally, feeling yourself start to panic. You guys were officially screwed.

"We didn't take her. She fled on her own." you marvelled at how Kaz could still keep his composure with an angry Darkling a few feet in front of him. Sometimes you forget how mentally strong he was.

"I don't doubt in it… where is she? I won't ask you again."

"I don't know. I don't own her… but it's pretty clear she wasn't interested in being a captive anymore."

Aleksander got even angrier at the little insinuation that Kaz took better care of you, that he didn't treat you like an asset, unlike the general. You cursed Dirtyhands for wanting to mock and taunt the Darkling, even though you could see that he wasn't so confident around him.

"I heard about you. And your crows. It would be a shame if something happened to such a talented group." the Darkling summoned some of his shadows, causing Kaz to back away and reach for the light grenade that you and Wylan had prepared. "It's good for you that you have the decency to show signs of fear."

"I'm afraid of what I must."

"And yet you are not so defenceless." Kaz raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Don't make a fool of yourself, Mr. Brekker. I can feel my moon's power everywhere. Especially when it's imbedded so much into one small object."

You tensed, remembering that you had given Kaz the necklace before he left for the Little Palace. A necklace whose pendant you poured so much moonlight into that no shadows could surround him while wearing it or only holding it.

Defence against the Darkling. Specially prepared for situations like this. However, handing it to him, you hoped the two would never meet, growling at each other like two rabid dogs.

"Y/N must have strong feelings for you to give you some of her power. And you for her. Putting your people and yourself at risk, your profit, your club. In the name of what, Mr. Brekker?"

"If you did thorough research on me, you'd know that all of Ketterdam knows I don't need a reason to do things."

"You'll never fully appreciate what she really is. But that's alright. Because I do." Aleksander let Dirtyhands' insult pass over his ears, trying to annoy him that much, so he let his guard down. You knew very well that method, just like you knew that Kaz wasn't foolish to fall for it.

"You've right. I'll never use her as a weapon or treat her like a saint. That's not what she wants. You may understand her powers, but you have no idea who she really is. What's in her mind. What are her dreams and desires. All you care about is her power, which I don't give a damn if she has or not. You see her only as a moon summoner. Not Y/N. You don't know the woman she was before Grisha's thing. You will never know how amazing and indescribable she was before Ravka. This is part of her that only I was allowed to see. You can't change the fact that I know her better than you."

"You're forgetting one important fact. You are a child, and she is Grisha. Y/N may take years to forgive me… but I can wait. Take away my shadows, and I still have something you don't. Time. Meanwhile, you will grow old. Your hair will grey, but she will remain ageless. Like me. Not mention your little inconvenience. Do you think you'll be able to touch her for more than a few minutes before your body grows old? That you'll be able to give her the life she deserves? We both know that one day, maybe a year from now, maybe fifty, she will realise that she has only one equal. There are no others like us, and there never will be. Even you can't change that, Mr. Brekker." he gave him a hostile look, laughing mockingly as he noticed that Kaz continued to back up with each step the Darkling took towards him until he did not stand in front of your hiding place. "Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. Time will do it for me." he summoned more of his shadows, wanting to scare him with his power. You three knew very well that with your necklace around his neck, no cut would kill him."You should have stayed in Ketterdam, Mr. Brekker."

At this point, you both decided to step in. Kaz threw his grenade, and you summoned your power, blinding the two of them. You grabbed Kaz's arm, and you both ran (as fast as his leg would allow). You stopped only a few corridors and stairs further, at the crossroads where you were all supposed to meet. Along the way, you avoided several fires that the tidemakers were busy with.

"What are you doing here?!" he growled furiously at you as you finally stopped, only making you more angry at his recklessness and attitude. He attacked and insulted the most powerful grisha. An 18-year-old with a cane and no powers.

"What am I doing here?! You tell me, what are you doing! You made him mad for no reason! You think now that he knows your identities, he'll let you go so easily? He will hunt you as long as he lives, just like me and Alina! Congratulations, Brekker!"

"I knew the risk." he replied angrily, looking around all four corridors.

"No, you didn't. You'd know a flimsy toy like that one, fucking grenade wouldn't be enough for him with all the amplifiers he's got."

"Well, I guess your little gift was strong enough to protect me. Which brings me to the question… why am I the only one blessed with this power from you?" he asked as he walked over to you, standing a few inches in front of you. You were both panting with quick anger, rage, and adrenaline, which was slowly draining from your systems.

"It's not your business, Brekker." you growled into his face and took a step, trying to avoid him, but his firm grip on your elbow stopped you.

You turned to face him, ready to yank your arm out of his grip and scream at him to fuck off, but all thoughts flew out of your head as soon as you looked into his mesmerising eyes, which were looking at you with concern and… love.

"It is my business." he leaned closer to you, just enough for you to feel his warmth and his scent, and far enough away not to touch you any more than he already did. "You... you're my most important business. And if something happens to you, if he catches you again..." he sighed, shaking his head, trying to find the right words as he licked his annoyed lips, unconsciously drawing your gaze to them and making you hold your breath for a moment, wanting something as forbidden and holy as kissing them. "I don't know how to... express my feelings. I don't know if I even understand them well enough. All I know is that I would rather die than see you enslaved and sorrowful... and it pains me to know that I'm too weak to protect you. That I'll always be too weak FOR YOU."

"You are literally everything but weak. In my eyes, you're the strongest person I know, Kaz. One of the very few to whom I would entrust my life in the blink of an eye."

"And yet I'm not enough for Grisha's love."

"How could you not be enough for something you already have?" Kaz's head snapped up as he watched you, befuddled in complete silence. You hesitantly reached for his hand, giving him enough time to pull away. He did not do. "And because I love you, I cannot be selfish with you. I cannot risk your life just because I have loved you since we were stupid teenagers." he squeezed your hand, too overwhelmed by his emotions to say anything. Fortunately, you understood him without any words.

Slowly, as if time had slowed down just for you two, he leaned towards you, resting his forehead against yours. You stood like that for a moment, enjoying the other's presence, forgetting that the palace was burning around you and probably 100 Grishas were chasing you.

"I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us." you promised him, whispering with your eyes still closed. "And for that to happen, I have to stay here. I have to make sure he doesn't go after you, that he will be distracted by me instead of planning your death.." you were about to extricate yourself from his grip, but the man only pulled you closer to him, not wanting to let you go.

"Please, don't. Stay with me. You're not a saint or a hero. You said it yourself. More than I could count."

"Kaz…" you took the ring off and put it on his little finger. "Keep it for me until I'm back. As a promise that whatever is going to happen next… I will be back for you." testing your luck, you placed a quick, tender kiss on his finger, feeling him tremble under your lips.

Before you got a chance to change your mind, you ran in the opposite direction, following the voice of the fighting Grishas.

You didn't turn around. You didn't steal a second glance at him, even though you knew he was watching you until you were out of sight. You knew the moment you looked into his eyes again, you'd change your mind.

You had to be strong.

For both of you. For your common future.

~•♤♤♤•~

When you regained consciousness, you weren't surprised that your hands had been handcuffed, so you couldn't use your powers. You were surprised to be greeted by the familiar sheets of Aleksander's comfortable bed.

And the Darkling himself was lying right next to you with his face towards you.

His eyes were closed, giving you a good look at the darker shadows under his eyes than before. Without knowing why, they disturbed you more than those lazily hovering around the bed. For a moment, you listened to his measured, calm breathing, which would probably confuse anyone else and give the illusory belief that the man next to you is sleeping. But you knew him much better than to fall for such a simple trick.

"I know how you breathe when you're sleeping, Aleksander."

"Maybe I was trying to fall asleep."

"Wearing a kefta? Doubtful." he opened one eye, staring at you silently. You felt your heart start beating faster from the nerves. You had no idea why you were here. Or at least you didn't want to admit it to yourself, so you decided to play the fool. "Are the dungeons undergoing some kind of refurbishment, or are they so full that you haven't found another place for me?"

He stared at you silently, deep in thought. He took his time to answer, playing with the strands of your hair that had escaped your bun from an earlier fight.

"It didn't seem like the right place for you" he finally whispered, making you even more suspicious.

"And where is my right place? After I stabbed you in the back so many times? In your bed? In your arms? As a weapon for your use? Where do you see me, Aleksander?"

"By my side. I've always seen you by my side." he answered at once, without a trace of hesitation in his voice. His shadow circled the room, caressing you from time to time. You didn't know if he was planning to let your guard down or if he had completely lost his mind.

"I don't understand. You should be mad at me. Why don't you hate me? Why are you still looking at me like... like you really have feelings for me? This is another one of your games, right? You want me to go completely crazy this time, don't you?"

"No, my little saint moon." he whispered, undaunted by your anger, gently cupping your chin so you had to look him in the eye. "All I ever wanted was someone equal to me. Why should I get mad at you when all you're doing is trying to find your way to me?"

"I don't…"

"Then why did you let them catch you? Don't try to lie to me, Y/N. I was there. I saw with my own eyes how you backed away from running away at the last moment. Why?"

"You know why." you whispered in a shaky voice. You closed your eyes, trying to protect yourself from the Black Heretic's penetrating gaze and show him the tears beginning to form in your eyes. "I have a million reasons why I should give you up, why I should hate you more than anyone else, but the truth is… my heart wants what it wants. And I don't think I can resist this anymore." you couldn't control your tears, but from the tender touch of his hand as he wiped them from your cheek and the clank of the handcuffs opening, you figured they were necessary for him to believe you.

"You have no idea how long…"

"No." you cut him off before he could say anything more." I have one question for you. Answer it right, and I'll forget about the last few months. Answer it right, and I promise you that you will never have to be alone again, that I'll always be by your side, along with your shadows and everything else that you truly are. That I will accept my destiny as being your moon. I won't let anyone scare me away from you ever again. I just… I need you to be completely honest with me. This one time." you cursed yourself at how weak your voice sounded when he grabbed your hand, kissing tenderly the places where the handcuffs were marked. "You don't have to tell me your whole plan; I just want to know… are all of these lies, battles, wars, deaths… just to keep the Grishas safe? You have no other intention behind this than to give our people home, where they don't have to be afraid of people who hate us and our powers?"

"I swear to you, my little moonstone, there is no other reason. I'm not a maniac drunk on power, as everybody tells you. I just want our people to be safe; I want to give them a world where we can explore the abilities of our power without fear of getting killed for being extraordinary. I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust."

"Good." you nodded, cupping his cheek as you pulled him closer to you, so your lips caught each other again.

And maybe it was naive to think he bought your story about being completely devoted to him; maybe it was just another one of his games; maybe this time he really believed your words. Or maybe he was tired of pretending you didn't feel that strange attraction every time you were together.

You did not know. And you didn't want to know.

You gave into that burning desire every time you were near him, explaining to yourself that you had to earn his trust.

But there was much more to this one kiss than just lust.

It was a promise to you.

You will break his heart and make him hate you. You will drive him mad, drive him away, and then he will cast you out. Aleksander will come to think of you not as his lover but as his greatest enemy. Alina, Baghra and you gonna end the circle of unnecessary deaths.

And then you will finally be free...

Or at least... you will kill you both while trying to hate him as you should from the beginning.

#aleksander morovoza #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x y/n #the darkling x you #darkling x reader #the darkling #darkling shadow and bone #general kirigan #baghra morozova #general kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan #darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling x y/n #the darkling x oc #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #alina starkov #romance #one shot #shadow and bone #six of crows #toxic love #love triangle #love confessions #darkling x y/n #general kirigan x you #kasagia

[chibipeachu]

Melancholy Memories | Aleksander. M

wc: 1.4k

pairing: Aleksander morozova X Fem!Reader

navi ¦ part one

It was a new kind of pain to stand there as the servants laid you into a glass coffin, the king had request it, to help healers study your cause of death.

Aleksander stood beside the king and queen, his eyes not moving from your peaceful body, they had placed a white face scarf over your mouth to hide the rose from the public eye.

Genya caught Aleksander’s attention as they all waited for the announcer to tell ravka about your death. She wiped her nose, trying to hold back her tears as fedyor and ivan were apart of the servants who helped carry your coffin to the healers study. 

Aleksander had blanked out most of the announcement, still in shock of your sudden death. 

Hours before you both had been laughing at old memories the next, there he was watching as his closest grisha rest your coffin.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Aleksander sighed as he glanced up at the doorway, it still hurt to walk past those doors each day. With a deep sigh he opened the door. Faint whiff of your perfume washed over him as he walked in.

He held his breath as he walked towards the loveseat you had placed in your shared bedroom, he sat down and looked around the room, taking in the last remaining bit of your presence.

Tears fell from his eyes, aleksander quickly placed his head in his head, his mind cruelly reminding him of your past memories together.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

“Is it too late to tell you that i’ve never properly ridden a horse before?” Aleksander chuckled at your words. 

“Yes, it is a bit late, but luckily for you, the saints favor you today meaning, you have a perfect guide..” He motions towards himself. “I don’t see ivan or fedyor anywhere..” You playfully looked around the palace grounds. 

He let out a playful scoff. “Alright let’s move it!” You both laugh as aleksander quickly helped you get on the horse, getting on behind you. “What would happen if I fell off right now?” You teased as aleksander had the horse start to trot lightly around the grass. 

“Be sent to the healers for weeks.” He quickly tightened his hold on your waist.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Aleksander smiled from his side of your bed as you got ready for the day, from brushing your hair to buttoning up your kefta. 

“Zlatan would be shocked if he knew his enemy was really just a lazy man in bed..” You smiled at your husband through your vanity mirror.

“Well i’m sure zlatan doesn’t have this sight every morning..” You smiled and stood up from your vanity chair and walked to your loveseat and gently plopped down and posed for your husband.

“Perhaps I could distract zlatan while you attack?” Aleksander scoffed and got up from the bed and walked over to the loveseat. “Zlatan would freeze at the sight of a lady like yourself..” He gently kissed your hands, looking up at you as he kissed your wedding ring, making you giggle.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

As aleksander sat, overwhelmed by your memories, he noticed a old journal tossed onto the small table in front of the loveseat. He sighed and scooted to the edge of the seat and grabbed the journal.

He flipped through the journal, he quickly paused as he noticed amongst the hundreds of pages only one page had been folded over to be a bookmark. 

He unfolded the page and read the entry. 

“A “golden guest” is what their calling her. Genya told me she’s a squaller and a powerful one at that, Aleksander had her in my old room for now, said she should have the best for a new guest..” 

Aleksander quickly moved to the next paper. 

“It seems i’ve somehow have developed a illness, it’s weird, being grisha and ill? Is it possible? I guess so, saints know how bad it hurts to breath as of late, aleksander has been busy, his attention is too focused on zoya to noticed. Queen tatiana had requested for me to join her and the other ladies to a lunch, of course i accepted before she threw a fit, hopefully it’s not totally boring this time…my illness seems to have gotten worse these past weeks, i feel very tired and achy? If that’s the right word even..”

“The lunch with the queen and her ladies were lovely, lady clarisse had taken her child with, cute little thing, we were joint at the hip for most of the lunch. Perhaps one day me and aleksander’s children will be as joyful and cute.”

As Aleksander sighed and went to place the journal beside him, too overwhelmed by his emotions a page fell from the journal, earning his attention.

“Hanahaki Disease | Death do you part.”

It’s a disease people suffer from when they experience unrequited love. The name Hanahaki derives from two shu words: ‘Hana’ meaning ‘flower’ and ‘hakimasu’ meaning ‘to throw up.’ So, when you put the two words together, you get the main symptom of Hanahaki disease, that is, coughing up flower petals. 

As of recently there seems to be incurable, may the effected be received peacefully to the saints. 

Aleksander’s throat closed as his eyes scanned over the page over and over again; his love’s death had been his fault, not some random curse but himself..

He shakily grabbed the journal and walked to the healer’s study where the king was observing the healer’s and your case. 

Aleksander quickly stormed in and slammed the journal on the table, making some of the healers tense up.

“I have the answers you’ve been looking for, now you may now peacefully rest my wife’s body.” Aleksander demanded as his eyes held tears welted up.

“What?” King pyotr questioned, opening the journal and read over the entry and sighed before looking up at the healer’s.

“Ignore general kirigan and continue.” The healers quickly got back to examining your body. Aleksander scoffed and looked at the king.

“You wanted to find the source and it’s there now let her rest!” Aleksander pointed to the journal, now in king pyotr’s hand. “It’s the cause yes but we could finally be a step ahead of shu han for a cure! We can’t let this go, just cause you hate seeing your failed marriage attempt!” The king sighed, turning back to the healers, aleksander quickly left the room.

He watched as his feet moved on their own, back to your room.

Feeling numb, he walked to the bed and laid on the side where you had demanded he slept.

The soft smell of you lulled him to a peaceful sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Children’s laugher made aleksander open his eyes, he quickly hissed and lifted a hand to hide form the bright sun. 

“Papa’s awake!” A tiny voice squealed, a quick flash of raven hair flew past him and towards the connected bathroom, where a familiar chuckle came from.

“That’s cause you woke him silly girl!” 

Aleksander quickly sat up and rushed to the bathroom and felt his heart freeze at the sight. 

There you were, your hair messy as you placed the little girl into the tub of bubbles. “I’m sorry she woke you up lapushka, told her she had to get in the bath..” You sighed before walking over to aleksander with a soft smile on your face.

“You’re so beautiful.” Aleksander whispered out as he held your face in his palm, your skin slightly warm. 

“As are you!” You quickly kissed him before pulling back and tapping him on his chest. “Now go get the other little ones..” As aleksander went to look behind him, the room doors opened to reveal three younger boys smiling at him.

“I beat ivan today papa!” Aleksander took note of the kid’s kefta, he was a tidemaker. “Good job!” You cheered from the bathroom.

“Only cause he felt bad you fell and hit your head yesterday.” the second boy, an inferni smirked while walking past aleksander and right towards yours and aleksander’s bed.

“Papa? Are you alright?” The oldest of the three questioned, making aleksander look at his kefta and smile, he was a shadow summer as well.

“He was woken up by your sister, so he’s a bit tired from you lot.” You laughed, walking over ot aleksander and raising your hand to cup his face.

“Go back to sleep lapushka, i got it.” You smiled as aleksander melted into your hand

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Aleksander opened his eyes and looked around the room. He sighed as he stared at the ceiling.

Maybe in a different lifetime, you both would find each other and be happily married with children…

#the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x you #general kirigan x you #aleksander morozova x you #shadow and bone x reader

[padfootagain]

Like Tracing Lines

Hello ! Today, we’re answering an anonymous request for the Darkling : “A Darkling request, please. May I have a Durast artist!reader who's extremely introverted. She just wants to draw in somewhere quite to draw designs, etc. especially she doesn't want anyone to see what she's drawing or who. And it only got worse when the sun summoner came.

You can choose how this goes, as long as it's a happy ending sksksk. I just really want an angst with an eventual happy ending, and I really love your writings Ridjsjsjs”

Thank you so much for your request, anon! I hope you enjoythe fic I’ve written for you!

I hope you all like this cute piece! Let me know what you think!

****

Pairing: The Darkling x reader

Warnings: a tiny bit of angst, hurt/comfort, an awful lot of fluff

Summary: The Darkling has always kept an eye on you, from afar, although he doesn’t admit why. But when the Sun Summoner arrives at the Little Palace, your lonely habits seem to grow exponentially, and he is more and more worried about you.

Word Count: 2074

The Darkling’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

You don’t worry yourself over the time you spend on your own, nor the fact that your self-isolation has increased these days. After all, people are used to it. You’re introverted, possibly too much so. It’s simply reassuring, to be left alone.

The life in the Little Palace can be crowded, sometimes. For someone as introverted as you, it is often too much. You find solace and peace in drawing, though. Mostly designs, sometimes sceneries, even portraits, every once in a while.

It’s soothing. Tracing lines on paper, forcing them to take shape, adding shadows, adding life. It’s therapeutic, at this point.

Everyone at the Little Palace knows that your drawings are off-limits, though. No one has ever been granted the right to look at them. You keep their beauty hidden for your own eyes; not out of selfishness, but simply because you assume that no one would understand them. Not the way you do.

After all, you see the world through the eyes of a Durast, and a talented one at that. You and David work a lot together, mostly because you are both equally talented and curious about everything. But if his world translates mostly through numbers and long silences, yours bubbles out of your fingers and spills into shapes on paper.

But when Alina Starkov arrived at the Little Palace, a little too eager to make friends, she asked about your drawings. And it would have been fine, because she was new, and couldn’t know that you preferred to keep your drawings to yourself. You closed up a lot more when she insisted, though. And when she started to ask you regularly what you were currently drawing  you grew quieter than usual, folded yourself back into a pocket-size version of your own self that you could hide away in your bedroom, in the safety of the Fabricator laboratories, or in long walks under the moonlight, when it was too dark for anyone to be awake.

If people did notice – which you doubt, in all fairness – no one spoke a word about it. You reckon that only a handful of Fabricators care about you enough to notice anyway.

You’re mistaken, though. There is someone else who cares, a little too much to his own liking, even. There is someone who has noticed the way you disappear these days, the way you try to look even smaller than before, to look invisible, avoiding to be noticed.

There is someone else who has noticed, and he is worried.

Of course, he has noticed. The Darkling has been away from the Little Palace for a few months now, fighting battles, planning the next phases of the wars. When Alina arrived, obviously, he brought her home, joining back his War Room, the safe halls he had built centuries before. And even if he shouldn’t have rejoiced at the thought of spending time with you again, he did.

There is something about you, he can’t explain it. Something soothing, something quiet, something… good. The type of goodness he once longed to protect, the kind he had spent a long time fighting for; until the weight of time and suffering darkened his soul and blinded him.

He found back some of the brightness of his earlier days in you, though. Something that made him long for something beyond himself, for something he couldn’t have.

Peace. Quiet. A normal life…

You have grown closer over the past few years, you working closely with him as a Fabricator. You are friends, or even, a little more than that, even if none of you care to admit it.

Of course, he noticed the way you fled, even before him. Only a few days after Alina’s arrival, and you were already spending hours locked away in your room, hiding in the library…

He knows too well what it is to hide, and he doesn’t want you to do so. Not to this extent, at least. You seem frightened, these days, and he can’t have that.

He’s built the Little Palace in hopes to banish fear from Grisha’ faces. He can’t bear the sight upon your features…

When you disappear again, right after dinner, he can’t take it anymore. Instead of heading to his room, he follows you, using his shadows to remain unnoticed. Until you’ve settled in an alcove, in a deserted corner of the library. He remains quiet, out of the light of the small candle you’ve brought along, and he watches you as you take a sketchbook and a pencil out of your pocket. You’ll be drawing, perhaps the moon, the stars, the trees beyond the window against which you’re resting your shoulder now. Perhaps some new idea plaguing your mind. He catches himself before he can hope that you could think of him…

He lets his shadows vanish, slowly, he calls back the darkness to make himself visible. He purposefully drags his feet over the stones to make a little noise, as to not surprise you too much. You freeze as you hear the noise, slowly turn to him.

And he shouldn’t think about the way the light plays with your eyelashes, the way the warm golden light of the candle mingles with the silvery one of the moon to bathe your features in a perfect light. He shouldn’t think, then, about how beautiful you are. About the way he longs to reach out. About how he doesn’t feel so lonely, now that your gaze has caught his. He shouldn’t think about the way you visibly relax as you recognize him. He shouldn’t hope that you like seeing him, here, by your side. He shouldn’t long for it.

And yet, there he is…

“Good evening, Y/N.”

His voice is low, cold, a tone unreadable. As usual. You grin.

“Good evening, sir.”

He chuckles, looks up at you.

“There’s no one else, Y/N.”

He notices the way your breath catches before you speak, but doesn’t acknowledge it. He’s too old to claim such details as victories.

“Good evening, Aleksander.”

You share a smile, the kind brighter than the ones he gives everybody else but you.

He walks closer again, standing by the wall without leaning against it, facing you.

“Is there something I can do for you?” you ask him, closing your sketchbook in a hurry.

But he wasn’t looking at it. He knows better than that.

“You could answer my questions.”

You raise an eyebrow in surprise, but let him continue.

He crosses his arms before his chest.

“Why are you hiding this way?”

You avert your eyes, fiddling with your pencil.

“I’m not hiding more than usual. You know me. I enjoy being on my own.”

“But you usually spend less time alone. Is there something wrong?”

His voice grows concerned, even if it is tainted with its usual coldness, the one that usually makes his emotions unrecognisable. He allows himself to let just a speck of his armour down with you though, just enough to let you guess that his worry is genuine.

You shrug, but his stare is heavy on your frame, making you bend your head and shoulders, and you can’t hold back when he’s like this: presence too strong, almost unbearable…

“I… I’m quite bothered by Alina Starkov.”

He frowns, seemingly puzzled.

“Am I asking too much from you? Are you and David too pressured?”

“No, no, no! That’s not it! It is simply… it’s stupid.”

You’re surprised when he walks closer, and even more so when he reaches for your chin, a tender hold between his thumb and his index finger. You don’t resist when he guides your head upwards, making you look at him, irises as dark as his shadows…

“What is it, Y/N? You can tell me. I’ll take care of it.”

There is something threatening in his voice, a tremor that’s never there when he speaks to you. But he doesn’t speak of you, then. He speaks of what he will do to whoever dares to hurt you…

You smile.

“It’s truly nothing. I’m just… being extra-shy.”

You heave a sigh, but Aleksander doesn’t have to encourage you again, you continue on your own.

“Alina is asking about my drawings. A lot. Too much. She doesn’t seem to understand the word ‘no’.”

You give him a humorous smile, but you seem too fragile for it to be genuine.

He nods, a small frown creasing his brow.

“I will talk to her,” he says, but you shake your head.

“It’s nothing. I’m sure she doesn’t even mean any harm. I’m just… It’s personal, you see. Maybe it’s silly, but it’s like… having someone read your diary or… your mind even. If it makes sense. It’s silly, isn’t it?”

You expect a harsh answer, you don’t know why. Because Aleksander has never been harsh with you. On the contrary, if his tone is always cold, he’s never said anything mean or hurtful to you. His voice is often a little lower, you like to believe it’s even a little warmer… but then again, you like to long for unreachable things.

You’re oblivious to the fact that his voice is warmer when he speaks to you.

The harsh answer doesn’t come. Instead, his fingers slide from your chin to your jaw, up to cup your cheek. His thumb is tender as it strokes your skin. There is a rush of power coursing through your vein because of his amplifying qualities, but you barely notice it, the feeling hidden by your pounding heart and the intensity of his stare.

No matter the butterflies in your stomach, or the rush of your heart, it still feels reassuring, his feathery touch across your cheek. Soothing. Almost like tracing lines on a page.

When Aleksander speaks again, you’ve never heard his voice so soft.

“It is not silly. We all have our secrets, and our own ways to deal with our demons. I will talk to Alina, make sure she does not bother you again. I want you to feel safe in these halls. I do not want you to feel like you need to hide, not here. Not when you are under my protection. Do you understand?”

You nod, although you’re not sure to understand. Not the full extent of his words, at least.

You’re disappointed when his touch disappears, his fingers slowly slipping down the length of your cheek, the pads hanging at your jawline a moment longer, but he reluctantly pulls away, eventually.

“You should rest,” he goes on, his voice colder again, his tone difficult to read, back to its usual mysteries.

You nod, and he turns to leave. You don’t know what comes over you when you call for him again.

“Aleksander!”

He stops, slowly turns to you. There is something puzzled in his frown.

You have no idea where the strength is coming from, but you speak the words anyway.

“Would you like to take a walk? With… with me?”

His puzzle frown turns into a surprised raise of his eyebrow.

“Now?” he asks, and there’s something almost amused in the way the corner of his mouth curves upwards, just a little bit.

“I mean… unless it is too late…”

You fall silent, and he adores seeing you this nervous. It’s endearing.

He shouldn’t let you in so easily. But then again, you look lovely, under the lights of the candle and the moon, and he longs to touch your skin again, no matter the excuse that would allow the contact.

He offers you his open hand.

“Shall we?”

The grin you give him is brighter than any light Alina could ever summon.

And he knows that he is making a mistake as soon as your fingers brush his palm. He knows he is making his own life immensely more complicated that it ought to be by letting you in. He should be focused on seducing Alina Starkov, on looking for the Stag, on planning his wars, on planning his next move against the king.

But then again, your hand is warm against his cold one. Your skin is smooth, your touch reassuring, and you make his heart skip a beat, in a way it hasn’t jumped for decades, maybe even for centuries.

Perhaps, just this once, just for tonight… just for you, he could make his life a little more complicated. Perhaps, just for this once, he could make himself a little weaker, a little more vulnerable… just for you.

************************

Taglist : @reg-arcturus-black @wolfmoonmusic

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling x y/n #the darkling x you #the darkling fanfic #aleksander morozova #aleksander x reader #aleksander x y/n #aleksander fanfiction #the darkling oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

[moonlightgrisha]

All those stories about a Moon Summoner? True.

Masterlist

Backstory 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Part one

1. First encounter

2. A dance of shadows

3. And then, she woke up

4. Ride on

5. How to lose a secret

6. Show me

7. Make a choice

8. New Moon

9. Everybody knows

10. Little Palace at night

11. The view from the hill

12. Summer Festival

13. The consequence of imagination is fear

14. The gift

15. After me, comes the flood

Part two

16. Wax and Wane

17. The Haunting of You

18. ?

About this story: This is a romance fan fiction about the Darkling and a female OC, born in the royal family with a power that binds her to the moon. I am not a native English speaker and I have not written a fan fiction in almost ten years. I have now actually accomplished to write for a living, as a professional author of books for young audiences in my home country. As much as I like my job, I missed the simplicity of posting online, so here I am, although my identity shall remain secret. I also wanted to experience writing in another language - my English might not be perfect, but I’m having a lot of fun. This story is simple, linear, romantic and maybe a little dull, but it’s something the teenage me would have liked, and I hope it can bring a little happiness to anyone who’ll read it. We always write to escape. So, here’s a little escapism. Enjoy.

#darkling #team darkling #moon summoner #grishaverse #fanfiction #romance #shadowandbone #netflix shadow and bone #first person pov #ravka #dreaming #justforfun #firstpost #follow me for more #darkling x you #the darkling x you #darkling x reader #the darkling x reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x y/n #the darkling x y/n #darkling x y/n #aleksander morozova x you #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x y/n #general kirigan x you #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan x y/n #general kirigan

[roselibrary]

𝐏𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 || 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

The Darkling x OC Brekker/Rietveld (Grisha Character)

Trigger Warnings: none

Summary: the generals night sky was what they called her. She made his world glow and in doing so he promised her anything she wished.

Requests are open!

Kaz Brekker often wondered if his sister missed him. He wondered if she ever reminisced about her time with them before she went away. Before she became Grisha. His memory is faint, but he remembers well enough the bright grin, kind eyes that shone their brightest in the dark, the long dresses she favoured and the tight corsets that he only now understands were used as a means of attracting attention. His sister had adored that. Adored the attention her gift gave her. She shone like the stars she commanded flying fast and free and blinked out of sight in his mind just as they did each night. His sister was a shooting star one that had long since left his atmosphere with no intention of returning.

Kaz Brekker remembered the day they came. The red keftas and the blue all stood fiercely in front of his sister who held her otherworldly glow. Then he came, tall, dark, and fierce; a black kefta that swirled about him just as his shadows did. He brought forth the darkness and Kaz watched as his sister glowed; he watched as the stars filled the man's shadows and encircled them both like they, too, were constellations in the sky. Kaz knew, as he hid behind barrels with his brother, that their lives would never be the same again. His sister had always wanted more and as he saw the adoration, greed and, what he would soon come to understand as, lust take hold of the one they called the Darkling he knew his sister would fly away. She, too, had the same look reflected in her own gaze; two souls connected as one that fateful day on a long-forgotten farm. The darkness embraced the stars and in doing so intertwined two souls who would never be parted.

Kaz remembers the shock in his eyes when the darkness faded, and the sun reigned supreme once more. He saw those in red turn swiftly in his direction taking hold of himself and his brother. He watched as his sister's eyes glimmered with something akin to regret and grief before it was gone replaced with that dazzling glow and ethereal smile as she knelt before Kaz.

“Sweet brother, I must leave now. You understand, don’t you? I have to go and help those who are like me but do not worry I will visit,” poor sweet Kaz could not tell how brittle his saint-like sister's smile truly was, “Jordie will look after you, won't you?” his sister turned her head to his elder brother whom was stock still withholding tears he knew couldn’t fall; lest his younger brother realise the true magnitude of this goodbye. Unable to speak the eldest of the two boys simply nodded his head once and swallowed the lump in his throat. The sister's smile faltered for a moment and a degree of hesitancy took up on her visage - at least it did until the hand of a general grasped her own and the assuredness returned tenfold. Once more turning her gaze to her younger brother she smiled sweetly and embraced him for a final time.

A gentle kiss to his forehead and a whispered promise gone on the wind was the last Kaz Brekker felt of his sister before she was swept away in a swirl of black. Ushered into a carriage and lost in the gaze of a man whose eyes were as dark as the night sky, never to be seen again.

#pomegranate seeds || the darkling #the darkling x oc #the darkling x reader #the darkling #general kirigan #general kirigan x oc #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan x you #the darkling x you #aleksander morovoza #aleksander morozova x oc #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x you #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone fic #kaz brekker #six of crows #grisha #shadow summoner #six of crows x reader #six of crows x oc #six of crows x you #east ravka #king of ravka #ravka #sun summoner #alina starkov #kaz brekker x oc #kaz brekker x reader

[marvelmusing]

Deserve You

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Corporalki!Reader

Summary: After surviving the Fold and the violence of the First Army, you and Aleksander are reunited, though he still struggles with his own monsters.

Warnings: brief mentions of canon level violence

A/N: the comfort fics have begun! This fic contains very minor spoilers for season two (no plot points, just the general background that has been seen in the trailers and promos)

My Masterlist

Aleksander knows you are tired. The past few days have been trying for you both.

The memory of your reunion, you crushing yourself against his chest, tears soaking into the fabric of his kefta, is at the forefront of his mind as he makes his way towards his rooms.

As he thinks of you, the scars on his face twinge. He knows you had done your best to heal the damage, as well as tailoring it away into thin black lines over his features.

Over the last few days, Aleksander has seen your fingers flexing in a familiar motion, easing the pain throbbing at your temples after another sleepless night. Eyes aching after a bought of tears that you had hidden from everyone else - even him.

He can only hope that you hadn’t waited up for him tonight, though he is half expecting to see you sat at his desk with a book in hand like usual.

He didn’t mind it when you could curl up by the fireplace in his study at the Little Palace, or one of the armchairs tucked away in the corner of his war room, as you waited for him to return from overrun meetings or training sessions.

But here, in this abandoned old estate where he and his Grisha have been forced to take refuge in, he knows you will struggle to find such luxuries. He hopes to find you comfortable in bed, perhaps even already asleep.

Instead, Aleksander finds you curled into a ball on the old armchair by the fireplace in his study. The firelight flickers over your face, features softened as you dream. Neck at an odd angle, your head is against the armrest, face nuzzled against the swaddle of dark blanket you had bundled around yourself.

He knows from experience that the armchair you’re sleeping on is rather uncomfortable. The cushioning is well worn, providing little protection from the hard wooden base, and the fabric is fraying at the edges.

As he steps towards you, quietly in an attempt at not disturbing your rest, he realises it isn’t a blanket draped over your frame. It’s his cloak.

Tears gloss in Aleksander’s eyes at the thought of losing this - losing you. The rest of the Grisha fear him, even those who are loyal to him feel unsettled by the unnatural power he had gained but had yet to use in their presence.

The bone rattling ache that reverberates in his very soul at the creation of his creatures is enough of an incentive to use this power only in times of great need.

Only once had the nichevo’ya slipped from his control, when he had found you in one of the First Army prison camps.

Hands bound to prevent you from using your power, you had been helpless to stop the Sergeant that grabbed you during the commotion of Aleksander’s attack.

At every camp he liberated, Aleksander had searched for you, desperately hoping you were alive and unharmed. When he found you, knife at your throat, being used as a bargaining chip for some pathetic solider, the shadows had spilt out of him, vying for blood.

That uncontrollable burst of power had formed into a creature that tore through the soldier, flinging you to safely before it mauled him to a painful and grisly death.

Wide eyed, a shallow cut against your throat, you had stared at Aleksander as he rushed over to you, dropping to his knees to assess the damage. He had summoned the Cut instantly, shattering your shackles and guiding your hands to your wound, however minor it was.

Once you were healed, he finally gained the will to withdraw his monster from the body of the soldier, studying your expression all the while.

When you had reached for him, concerned about the visible wounds left by the volcra instead of asking about his abominations, he had been surprised.

Even now, despite everything, you still consider him your safe space - gaining comfort from his cloak when he could not be here to hold you himself.

Knowing you will be uncomfortable when you wake if he does not move you, he bends down to rouse you gently from your slumber. His breath catches at the sight of your lashes fluttering delicately as you slowly pull yourself away from sleep.

Then you tense, eyes widening and body backing away into the seat of the armchair. He shushes you softly, saying your name in a low voice and ignoring the spike in his chest at your fearful response.

“Only me,” he assures you.

The ache only alleviates once you relax, which happens instantly when you recognise his presence. Mumbling his name sleepily, you reach towards him, closing the already limited space between you.

The proximity allows him to see the cloak better, curled purposefully around your shoulders with the excess bundled against your chest. Then he notices the mud on the hem by your bare feet. He frowns.

“Is this the cloak I wore to Ryevost?”

At his question, you glance down, running your fingertip over the edge of the soft lining that had been keeping you warm as you slept.

“The new ones don’t smell like you.”

“This one smells of horse,” he counters with a teasing arch of his brow.

“Horse and you. But mostly you.”

He hums, disliking the thought of you using something dirty. In Aleksander’s opinion, you deserve to lie on the finest silks and beneath the softest of blankets. Instead, you’re making do with his travel worn clothing.

“Perhaps I could select a cloak solely for indoor use, which you could steal from me instead of this one.”

“Or maybe one of your keftas?” you suggest, avoiding his eyes.

In response, he hooks a finger beneath your chin, tilting your head back to meet his gaze. A heat fills him, his lips twitching into a smirk as he adds his own suggestion,

“Just the kefta?”

Warmth spreads over your cheeks, as a long unseen mischief fills your eyes.

“Perhaps on special occasions.”

He hums approvingly, leaning forward to kiss your lips.

It’s only once he moves to lift you into his arms that you pull away from him, shaking your head and assuring him hurriedly,

“No, no. I can stand.”

He pauses, staring into your eyes. The concern there tugs at his heart, soothing the burn of his pride at the nervous edge in your voice. Ever since his return, you’ve been afraid of the damage his survival did to his body.

“I’m not fragile,” he states firmly, resolve hardening as he pushes the cloak from your body, revealing your night attire as he wraps his arms around you.

Scooping you up against his chest, he swallows down the small tinge of pain at the effort as he moves towards his bedroom.

“I’m not saying you are, Sasha. But you shouldn’t exert yourself.”

He lowers you at the foot of the bed you share, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. As he backs away, you frown and add,

“You should get some rest.”

As he opens up a drawer to retrieve his night shirt, the corner of his mouth curls into a half smile, one that only you can bring out of him.

“As should you.”

Straightening slightly, you watch as if you’re waiting for him to return to his study. He knows if he did, you would pull on his bathrobe and join him as he worked.

“Not without you.”

He nods in assent, gesturing towards the head of the bed with his shirt still in hand.

“I’m joining you. Please, get comfortable.”

Following his order is easy enough for you, pulling back the covers and sliding your bare legs against the chilly sheets. He watches you shiver lightly as he shrugs off his kefta, tossing it aside before he removes his cotton tunic as well.

Aleksander feels your eyes on his bare chest as he tugs on his grey sleep shirt. He knows you are looking over the scars that litter his body, both new and old, the faded white, fresh pink, and inky black. Plenty of them had been healed by your own hand.

As he pulls his trousers down and changes his underwear, you lie back against the pillows, subconsciously nearing the centre of the bed to be close to him when he arrives.

Aleksander joins you, as promised, sliding beneath the covers to lie on his back and welcome you into his arms. He remains still, allowing you to shift yourself into a comfortable position around him.

Nestling into the side of his body, half draped over him, you press a kiss to the spot between his neck and his shoulder. Aleksander shivers, tightening his hold on you as the chilly tip of your nose brushes over his skin.

Then you settle further down, resting your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as the world goes quiet.

He murmurs the admission that has been weighing him down over the last few days, saddened words against your hair as he brushes his lips over the crown of your head.

Even as you’re half asleep, you pick up on his distress, lifting your head slightly,

“Sasha?”

He knows you will pick up on his heartbeat if he lies. The self loathing that has been festering under his skin urges him to repeat himself, in the hope that you will finally see sense and flee from him.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Instead of responding, you burrow further into his arms, curling your own protectively around his waist and the back of his neck as you press your body over the top of his.

As your fingers thread lightly through his hair, his eyes flutter closed. He feels something inside him shatter as you place a kiss against his neck, where his heartbeat is the strongest.

“It doesn’t matter,” you say quietly. “This is what I want to give you.”

He feels your fingers tighten in his hair and the fabric of his shirt. The concept of anyone giving Aleksander something with no expectations is foreign to him. Everyone wants something.

Though all you appear to want is him.

Not the Darkling who can summon creatures of shadow. Not the General who offers you protection. Or the amplifier that could give you the strength to perhaps rival the sun summoner. Not even the boy, Aleksander, who learnt cruelty from his mother’s knee.

All the fractured pieces of himself, hardened and lost and twisted by time and suffering. Aleksander can never deny you what you want, but he never imagined you could want him so much, in spite of everything he has become.

His dark eyes fill with tears once again, the reclined position of his head causing them to spill out, casting wet streaks over his temples.

“Whether you deserve it or not, this is what I want. I want to love you, Aleksander.”

-

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity @slytherheign @ellooo0ooo @vixenofcourse @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jane-arthur @ilikefictionmen @budugu @watersquirtpewpewboomm @mysweetlittledesire

Aleksander M Tag List: @nyctophiliiiiaaa @jazmin2211 @wooya1224

BB Characters Tag List: @rachlovesactors @noortsshift @aikeia @weallhaveadestiny @two-unbeatable-beaters

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #the darkling x reader #the darkling au #the darkling imagine #the darkling x you #the darkling x y/n #shadow and bone au #shadow and bone x reader