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#this stupid man is everywhere and won’t leave me alone please help
mousebloom · 10 months
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heuehueheu !!!!!
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xanqels · 10 months
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For I Have Sinned.
DarkCorruptedPriest!Joel Miller x Innocent!Reader
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Summary: Father Miller sets eyes on you, and decides then and there that you are to be ruined by him.
Parings: joel miller x f!reader
Warnings: SMUT!!! No outbreak au! reader is a virgin and very naive, loss of innocence, corruption kink (he’s into taking her vcard), blackmail, dubcon, virginity loss, fingering, slight humiliation(?), bit of mocking, pet names (darlin’, baby, sweet girl etc), dirty talk, using the lords name in vain, unprotected piv (wrap before you tap), power imbalance, oral (f receiving), age gap (reader is mid to late 20s, Joel is late 50s), Joel is an asshole in this, mentions of god/the bible/sinning. Conclusion: Joel should not be a priest. if there’s any i’ve misses please let me know.
Word Count: 4.9k
A/N: I would like to thank @chloeangelic for inspiring me to write this and also giving me some encouragement, and I’d also like to thank @toxicanonymity for inspiring me to write dark!joel and creating the joelkemon universe. Also I do apologise if the timing of the story is a bit everywhere, this is my first fanfic!! any and all criticism is welcome with open arms.
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He still remembers the first day he met you.
You and your family had brought him a pie, a cherry one. They wanted to welcome him, congratulate him for becoming the new priest in their humble town. A sweet gesture from such a perfectly sweet girl and her devout family.
He remembered your face, he could draw it from memory if he wanted to - if he could draw, that was. The perfect mix of beauty, grace and innocence stood before him that very day and he was hooked. Hooked on your gaze, your smile, your scent, but most of all, your innocence and blind naivety to the world.
He knew then and there, that you were his to ruin.
Every Sunday from then on, his eyes were stuck on you, what you were wearing, the way your cheeks flushed when your eyes met his. Everything about you was mere perfection. A sight of innocence, of naivety that he couldn’t wait to take hold of and ruin for every other man.
He wanted his name to be the last thing on your lips at night, and the first thing to be spoken in the morning. He wanted to curse your mind with images of him, to make you worship him instead of God. And so, in his mind he curated the perfect plan to get you alone.
“Go forth, knowing that you are cherished,” His voice, a deep texan accent, talking to the congregation, “chosen and empowered by the Creator of the Universe.” But why did it feel as though he was talking to purely you? His words, so enchanting you lingered on every line he spoke. His sermons were fresh, new and slightly modern. A stark contrast from Father Rafferty’s sermons.
“May his grace be upon you. Now and forevermore.” He looks up, eyes scanning the room before landing on yours. Dark brown iris’ peering into your soul, as you feel your cheeks flush. He likes the way your cheeks blush when you look at him. You want him. You need him, he tells himself. “Amen.” He states as you look away, the rest of the congregation, including yourself muttering a simple ‘Amen.’
As you and your family stand up in preparation to leave, Father Miller approaches you, a wide smile on his lips with his Bible and rosary beads in hand. “Mr and Mrs Spencer.” He says, shaking your fathers hand. “How lovely it is to see you again.”
“Well, Father, we could never miss one of your services.” Your mother speaks as you look idly at the floor, eyes tracing over the darkened, dented wood from where people have walked over time. You tune out the conversation, feeling ashamed for dropping Father Millers eyes earlier, and feeling so stupid for blushing.
“Won’t you, honey?” Your fathers voice snaps you out from your thoughts, eyes wide as you look between the three of them. “Pardon?” You ask, heart thumping in your chest.
“Father Miller wants you to help him decorate the church for Easter Sunday. There’ll be plenty of other people there. I think it’d be an excellent idea.” Your father says, as your eyes dart to Father Millers. He smiles, a sweet smile. A comforting, pleasant smile which puts you at ease. Those dark chocolate brown eyes, soft and kind.
You nod, and he clasped his hands together in glee. “Well, perfect. It’ll take a little while, but there’ll be plenty of breaks and we’ll provide food. Hopefully you don’t mind me keeping your daughter occupied for the entire day.” Father Miller says, and your parents don’t seem to mind. Just as long as you’re being the perfect catholic girl you’ve always been. Just as long as you’re kept out of trouble, and as long as you help Father Miller with whatever he needs.
A devout catholic you were. Born and baptised, risen in a strong catholic household and desperate to please the priest. You’d do anything he’d say or ask, as long as it wasn’t a sin, and Joel knew that. He knew how desperate you were to please someone so close to God, his messenger, how you itched to be as pure and holy as one could be. He knew he’d got you wrapped around his little finger
And so, the plan was set in motion. And at 11am on the following Thursday, you were there at the church doors, pushing the solid oak open as you walk into the dim room, the only form of light being the candles Father Miller had lit and the sun shining through the stained-glass windows.
Expecting to be met with various murmurs and fellow church-goers, you find the place empty. Completely deserted, almost, until your eyes lay on him. Tall, stoic and his gaze piercing at you, taking you in. Your small frame, your long white dress, the way your hair lay against your shoulders. The image of innocence.
He smiles, that same sweet smile that he gave you the previous Sunday. “You made it.” He says, walking towards you with his arms out, almost as though he was going to envelope you in a hug.
But he didn’t. He clasped his hands together, rubbing his palms together. “Father Miller.” You exhale softly, eyes scoping the otherwise empty church. “I thought we were all meeting here at eleven. Where is everyone?” You ask, twirling a strand of long hair around your index finger.
He shrugs. “‘m afraid I don’t know. I did invite them.” He says, lying through his teeth. You wouldn’t know that, of course. Too naive to think any differently, to even have a thought that Father Miller may just lie to you. Truth is, he didn’t invite anyone else. Not a single soul. It was only you and him.
You frown, clearly unhappy with the way no one else seemed to turn up but you. The way they so blatantly chose to ignore Father Miller’s need for help. “But you asked for help, surely they should’ve come.”
“Perhaps they got busy.” He lies, looking around the church, eyes glaring at the empty walls. “Anyways, this place won’t decorate itself.” He grins, turning and walking towards the back, hand gesturing for you to follow.
And you do, obediently. Into the back room of the church, full of foldable tables and chairs, boxes of decorations and broken pews. It’s dark, and smells of dust and mildew. The smell violates your nose as you try to adjust to the light, and then Joel flicks a switch, and a singular, dim lightbulb sparks to life.
You grimace at the surroundings. Untidy, dusty and slightly damp. There’s a dark oak table in the corner of the room, covered in cardboard boxes that are filled to the brim. Obviously this room hardly gets properly taken care of, but in a small town like yours, you aren’t surprised. Most of the things that enter this room hardly come back out, unless needed. But, you aren’t here to judge, you’re here to help. Help this poor, middle-aged priest who blessed the community with his sermons and his striking good looks… wait what?
You sigh as you approach the table full of boxes, slender fingers prising open the lids and rooting through the boxes of old memories and décor.
Behind you, Joel was hungrily glaring at your figure. The way you got to work without any questions. So submissive, so silent. Oh, how he can’t wait to hear you moan his name. To cum all over his cock, to..
“Father Miller?” His thoughts are cut off by your melodic voice drifting through the air. “What exactly are we looking for?”
He chuckles, slowly approaching the table. “Sweetheart, it’s not Sunday, and we’re not in a sermon. Please, call me Joel. Let’s drop the formalities for now.” He smiles, looking down at you, and then, his hand is on your lower back. Hardly an inch above your ass. “Just some decorations. Some banners, the candles, my white robe should be in here somewhere.”
You gasp, the feeling foreign and leaving a strange feeling in your loins. You look up from the boxes of discarded mess, eyes meeting his. “Father Miller..” You start, but he glares at you, eyebrows raised. You squint your eyes shut and scrunch your face up, mentally cursing at yourself for not using the name he’d asked you to use. “I mean, Joel..” You clear your throat. “Why would your robe be in here? Surely it should be at your house, or somewhere safe atleast?” Your eyes slowly open, meeting his again.
He looks at his hand, gliding it up and down your back slowly, as though he was comforting you. “Well, William – Sorry, Father Rafferty left it in here for me. Just haven’t had chance to come rootin’ through the boxes.” He hums, a low tune, a soft one. “So, Sweetheart, tell me.. have you ever sinned?”
The abrupt question makes you freeze up, frown at the thought and straighten up slightly, eyebrows furrowed. “What sort of a question is that?” You ask. “Of course not. Well… I don’t think I have.” You say, wracking your brain for an answer. It’s normal for him to ask these sorts of questions, right? He’s just looking out for you. To make sure you’re on the right path, that you’re pure and holy. You’ve never even looked at another man in a sinful way, let alone kiss one. Sure, you might think the odd boy is cute, and maybe you’ve looked at Father Miller – Joel in a different way, and that’s made you feel sinful. You have to admit though, his scruffy salt and pepper beard, dark eyes and calloused hands are no match for any of the local boys. Joel was beautiful. Handsome, even. But he was thirty years your junior, and the priest. It’d ruin his career and his relationship with God, yours too. You couldn’t do it to yourself.
“You’ve never kissed a boy?” He asks, curiosity peaking. You knew kissing wasn’t a sin, but it’s not like you needed to worry about it. You shake your head, saying nothing. “Would you like to kiss one?” He asks, his body suddenly moving to engulf yours, his crotch right against your ass as he wraps his arms around your waist. You shudder at the movement, his breath hot against your ear.
“Father, I’m not sure this is right.” The formalities are back, you’re unsure, nervous and confused. Never once has he acted this way towards you, so flirtatious and curious. And yet you find yourself wanting more. A burning forming deep inside of you.
“Joel.” He corrects. “And it’s alright, darling. Won’t do nothing you don’t want me to do.” He grabs your hips and turns you around in his arms so you’re facing him. He places his index finger under your chin, lifting your head up to look at him, his eyes piercing yours.
You swallow thickly, eyes scanning his features. His scruffy beard is stark in contrast to his combed-back hair. The weathering on is face is showing, proving his age, showing how wise he is. He’s gorgeous, for an older man. You never would’ve assumed he was in his fifties, had he not told you. You bite your lip, weighing out the pros and cons in your mind of potentially giving your first kiss to this man.
“Just tell me what you want, Darlin’.” He speaks, “it’s not a sin. Well, it’s definitely not a sin if you kiss me. We won’t be doing anything wrong.” He urges, watching intently as your tongue pokes out and swipes against your lower lip. You nod, if anyone should know about sin it’s him. If anyone should know what’s right or wrong, it’s him.
He doesn’t waste a second, closing the space between the pair of you, his lips pressing against yours. They’re plump and warm against yours, and you’re not sure what to do. You try to copy his movements, lips moving when his do. It’s hard and confusing at first, but you manage to get the hang of it slowly. It’s innocent at first. Soft, sweet and oh, so innocent. But the more he presses against you, the more your back presses against you solid oak table. The sharp edge digging into your back, the pain making you gasp. Joel takes this opportunity to slide his tongue between your lips. A wet, warm foreign feeling in your mouth.
It’s a long kiss, deep and hungry. His tongue prodding and attacking your mouth every so often, and you could swear you feel something warm and tingly in your lower stomach. You’re stood awkwardly, hands by your sides with absolutely no sense of direction, that is until Joel takes your hands and places them around his neck. You allow it, and as you settle in, his hands find their place on your waist, calloused fingers digging through your cotton dress.
You wince as he nips your bottom lip with his teeth, and you pull away, a string of saliva still connecting the two of you. His eyes dark with a newfound fire in them, and something you can’t quite put your finger on.
“Fuck angel, you taste so good.” Joel whispers, his hand coming up and brushing through your hair as he takes your form in. Slightly plumped lips, red and glossy from your shared saliva, eyes wide and still in shock from the moments. “I can’t get enough of you.”
He leans in again, and even though you expect for him to kiss you again, his lips find a new place – on your neck. His beard tickles the sensitive skin, his lips trailing down your neck to your collarbone, which only just peaks out of your modest dress. Your breath catches in your throat, the fire in your stomach growing strangely stronger, more apparent. You sigh out as he plants a wet kiss against your collarbone, his tongue gliding from your collarbone up to your earlobe.
“Such a good girl.” He murmurs in your ear, his fists grabbing your dress and starting to pull it up. You gasp, placing your hand on top of his to stop him, shaking your head.
“No.” You state. “That’s a sin, I can’t go any further, Father. It’s not right.” You tussle in his grip. “I’m waiting until marriage like I should, like God said I should.”
“Oh, sweet girl.” He purrs, slowly shaking your hand off his. “It’s not a sin if you do it with me. It doesn’t count.” He lies, tugging your dress up so it’s just above your waist. He slips his free hand into the waistband of your panties, hissing as his fingers are met with your arousal. “Oh, baby.” He purrs, his finger skilfully prodding your clit. You whine in his arms. “You’re so wet, so desperate.” Wet? That’s what it is? You’re aroused? By this? That strange, unfamiliar feeling in your gut was caused by him?
His fingers swipe your clit, moving at different angles until your face twisted in pleasure and your mouth drops open. A strangled moan comes from the back of your throat, a noise you didn’t even know you could make. A noise you shouldn’t make, but you can’t help it. You can’t stop the chorus of moans falling from your lips, and to Joel it sounds just like a hymn sung in church. So beautiful and melodic to his ears. He loves it.
His index finger trails down, making you frown at the loss of pleasure, prodding your tight hole. You gasp, immediately itching to get out of his grip again. His grip only tightens, and he pulls his hand out of your panties. He looks at the wetness on his hand in the dim light, admiring the shine and your embarrassed face. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, Sweetheart.” He winks before popping his fingers in his mouth and sucking your juices clean off them. You at him in both shock and awe as he reaches behind you and clears the table off, boxes falling on the floor with decorations scattering around the room.
He lifts you up, your dress still hiked around your waist as he places you on the table, stepping between your thighs. “You gon’ show me all of you, pretty girl?” He asks, caressing your face with the same hand he just sucked clean. You felt sick to your stomach, but at the same time, you yearned for more.
“Forgive me, Father..” You mutter quietly to the man himself upstairs, as you nod your head and lift your arms up. Joel takes complete advantage of this, removing your dress and discarding it on the dirty floor. You know it’ll be dirty and possibly ruined when you retrieve it after, but you’re sure you’ll make something up to appease your parents.
He whistles lowly at the sight of you in your underwear, and since he asked if you would show him all of you, he doesn’t ask if he can unclasp your bra, he just does it, hardly giving you time to react. The cool air immediately makes your nipples harden, stiff peaks standing to attention, desperate to be touched. To be manhandled and played with. He discards your bra ontop of your dress, his hands coming back and cupping your boobs.
You bite your lip at the new sensation as he fondles them “Do you trust me?” He asks, what a stupid question – of course you do. You nod, and he removes his hands from your breasts, his fingers sliding into the waistband of your panties. You lift yourself off the table slightly, after a glare of expectance from Joel, and he pries your soaking wet panties from your body, the soft pink colour now darker where wet.
“Oh, Darlin’.” He groans as he fingers the damp patch, and your cheeks grow hot again. “I’ve hardly even touched you. Hardly even shown you what a good time I can give ya.” He grins, a devilish grin, as he stuffs your soiled panties into his back pocket.
You shiver in anticipation, any worries of sinning or ruining yourself for marriage being long gone. After all, Father Joel Miller said it was okay, and that it wasn’t a sin asking as you did it with him, and he wouldn’t lie to you, right?
He kneels down in between your legs, groaning as his knees click, a sign of his old age. It should snap you out of this, remind you this isn’t who you are, but it does the opposite. Makes you yearn for him, crave him. He grabs your thighs and thrusts you closer to him so your ass is just barely on the table. With one arm wrapped around your waist, he uses his free hand to gently spread your lips, your pussy shining with arousal in the dim light. Glistening, calling for him, he exhales shakily. “Gotta stay still for me, Baby, okay?”
He dives forward, your soaking cunt spread open for him still, and he places a gentle, chaste kiss on your clit. A simple movement that has you jolting, and him chuckling at your reaction. A low, monotone tune.
“God girl, you’re a nasty little thing, huh?” He doesn’t even give you time to answer before he licks a straight line from your tight hole up to your clit. Your moans have his cock rock hard, painfully stretching against his pants. If he doesn’t get to fuck you, he’ll definitely masturbate to the thought of your moans, the way your cheeks were red and eyes glossed over.
He repeats it a couple of more times, licking stripes up your pussy, purely doing it to wind you up and tease you further, as if you weren’t already a soaking mess for him. He takes pity on you and your whines, leaning forward and wrapping his plump lips around your clit, ravenously devouring your pussy as though he hadn’t eaten for days.
It’s pleasure unlike anything you’ve felt before. So intoxicating and mind numbing, you could live on this feeling. Your hands grip the edge of the table, knuckles turning white as you moan, your hips subconsciously rocking and grinding into his mouth. “Joel.” You groan, and he only hums in response, noisily lapping up your leaking juices.
He brings his hand down, the one that was spreading your lips, and gently prods his middle finger against your tight hole. He gently pushes it in, despite your slight squirming and whines, holding it still to allow your pussy to get used to this new feeling, to this intruder. Then, he’s slowly thrusting his finger into you, all the while he’s completely devouring your pussy.
The feeling burns slightly, but is quick to wear off as it soon turns to pleasure, his finger hitting a certain spot that makes you see stars, that makes you unaware of how loud you are, how pitiful you sound. You don’t even realise he’s brought his second finger into the mix until the burn returns and you feel yourself being stretched out further.
You cry out, your hand shooting to his wrist. “Stop.” You command, voice wavering. “Too full.” He pulls his head away, chuckling lowly at the command.
“Too full?” He asks, “How do you expect me to fit my cock in your pretty pussy if you won’t even let me put my second finger in?” He raises an eyebrow. “I thought you were my good girl, are you not? Look at how wet you are, how well you’re taking my fingers.” He gently pushes his fingers in further as he speaks. You look down, the sight simply sinful. Your tight pussy engulfing his large calloused fingers, your juices all over his fingers and knuckles.
“Slowly.” You demand, gently releasing his wrist, and thankfully, he does. He pushes his fingers in, and you’re full. Fuller than you were before, and you didn’t even know that was possible. To feel so filled up and yet.. good? It’s slow, the way his fingers thrust in and out of you, inching deeper every time. It’s progress when the burning subsides, and you nod at Joel.
“Better.” You confirm, and he doesn’t need to ask twice.
His fingers slowly pick up the pace, his tongue attacking your clit again, your hips grinding against him, desperate for more friction, and you don’t even realise you’re doing it.
The burning in your lower abdomen grows stronger, more apparent. Like you’re building up to something momentum, something life changing. “Joel.” You moan. “Fuck, oh God.” You curse, not caring for the moment who hears you curse, or use Gods name in vain. You’ll pray later.
He pulls his lips away from you, smirking up at you. “Gonna cum, baby?” He asks, but you’re unsure. “Let go, Sweet girl. Show me how you cum all over my fingers. Show me how bad you can do.”
Your mouth drops open as his fingers hit that special spot, eyes seemingly rolling into the back of your head as it washes over you. The best thing you’ve felt in your life, crashing over you again and again. You see white flashes, and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. You don’t even realise that you’ve grabbed Joel’s wrist again to keep him in place, your hips rocking back and forth on his fingers.
You’re sweaty, beads of sweat have fallen down your chest, your thighs, and when you come to, you feel filthy, sinful, wrong. Like you’ve just had a piece of you taken. You look down, mouth dropping open as you gently release him from your ironclad grip. “I’m so sorry.” You blubber.
He pulls his fingers out of you, grinning wide at his accomplishment. “Look at that..” He pops his fingers in his mouth, sucking them dry. “Not so innocent, huh? You naughty girl. I heard you curse Gods name.”
“Please don’t mention that to anyone. It was wrong of me. I’m sorry, that shouldn’t of happened.” You plead, the thought of what the community may do to you scares you. You’ve seen what lengths they go to in order to shun someone. “I’ll do anything, just don’t tell them.”
He smirks. “Well, you could do one of two things. You could get on your knees at home and pray to God that he’ll forgive you, although there’s a very low chance of that happening, you sinful little minx.” He chuckles at your sorrowful face. “Or, you can turn around, bend over and let me fuck the sin out of you. I’m sure he’ll forgive you if every drop of sin has been eradicated from your body. Your choice.” He stands, groaning softly as his knees crack again, that reminder of his age causing your pussy to pulse in arousal.
You sigh, wordlessly standing up on wobbly legs. You turn around, gently laying your sweaty body against the table. Your stomach covered in the wetness you’d left behind, the rest of your body being welcomed by the coolness of the wood. “I want him to forgive me.” You squeak.
A feeling of pride in his chest, he smiles. You hear the sound of his belt unbuckling, and then the rustle of his pants as he pulls his cock from out of his boxers. He holds his hand out infront of you. “Spit.”
You gather all the spit in your mouth, spitting it into the palm of his hand. You wonder what he’s going to use your saliva for. “This isn’t going to hurt more than your fingers, is it?” You can hear him stroking himself with your spit, a wet, sloppy sound. You can’t help but wonder what his cock looks like. Is it big? Is it thick? Is it tanned like his sunglowed skin?
“Different for everyone, Angel. Shouldn’t hurt for long if it does.” He says, his free hand adjusting your form slightly. He stands behind you, getting himself into position. “The fact you just came should make it so much easier, and less painful.” He gently pushes the tip of his cock into your tight hole, hissing.
You cry out, the burning sensation stronger than ever as you feel yourself being stretched out around his thick cock. Tears prick your eyes. It’s unpleasant, you feel like you’re being ripped into two, like his cock is going to break you. “Too big.” You cry out again.
He tuts. “You said that about my fingers.” He rolls his eyes. “Too big.” He mocks in a slightly girlish tone. This isn’t the Miller you know. This is someone entirely different. His whole demeanour has changed in a matter of seconds, from the second you bent over for him, he’s far more dominant. “We got my fingers in, didn’t we? Just breathe.” He reaches his freehand down, rubbing your clit in small circles to get you to ease up.
You do as he says, taking deep breaths in through your nose as he continues to stretch your tight hole out around him. It takes what seems like forever before he finally bottoms out, and you hear him sigh. He stays still for a moment, allowing you to adjust before starting to slowly thrust into you.
The burn takes a while to ease off, but when it does and you finally get to embrace the feeling of being truly full up, you’re in shock. You thought two fingers was full, you were wrong.
“This pussy is so fucking tight.” He grunts, his hips slapping against yours as his pace speeds up. “Should’ve fucked you sooner, Pretty girl.” You moan in response, table creaking as he fucks you against it.
“Deeper.” You blurt out. Your body and mouth no longer felt like it belonged to you, it belonged to your lust. Your desperation to cum all over his cock again.
He obliges. “So fucking needy.” He scoffs, but smirks as your moans turn into callings of his name and strings of curses, the tip of his cock nudging that oh so sweet spot you’ve learnt to appreciate in what feels like seconds.
The sounds of skin slapping, moans from you and grunts from him echo around the room, bouncing off the walls and right into your ears, reminding you how your innocence is gone, how you’re no longer pure. How sinful you’ve become, something you’ve lived your entire life avoiding. Something you were taught to never even think about happening, something you were taught to shun others for. And now look at you, what a hypocrite. Bent over a table, being fucked by a man, who despite being very attractive, is decades older than you.
That same feeling is forming in your stomach as he fucks you harder, faster, deeper than before. He’s chasing after his own orgasm too, he can’t help but crumble when it comes to you. You’re just too perfect, and your pussy is his own personal brand of heroin.
It comes abruptly, without any warning, attacks you and your senses. You’re blinded by stars, head dizzy and body feeling heavy.
He gasps, grunting loudly. “Oh, you dirty girl.” He moans, his thrusts becoming sloppy and shallow. Your pussy strangles his cock as you pulsate around it, and it pushes him over the edge.
You can feel him spilling his hot cum inside of you, his cock pulsating in response to your pussy pulsating around him. He collapses on you for a minute, his clothed chest against your naked, sweaty back. You stay like this for a while until you clear your throat and he gets up, his dick now soft as it slips out of you, a mixture of your juices trickling down your legs.
He steps back to admire the view. Your ruined pussy, pumped full of his cum, pulsating around nothing. He hums as he tucks himself back into his pants, tutting at the small wet patch near his zipper. “Messy girl.” He mutters.
You gently push yourself up, grimacing at the feeling of the mixture of your juices trickling down your soft, shaky thighs. You bend over slowly, picking your discarded bra up from the floor and putting it back on. “Can I have my underwear back?”
He shakes his head. “They’re mine now, Angel.” He gives you a cheeky grin. You groan and point down to the mess trickling down your legs, and his response to that is to give you an old rag from one of the boxes.
You clean yourself up the best you can with the resources you’re given, but it’s not enough. He’s pumped you full of his cum and it’s still trickling out. You just decide you’re going to have to pray for the best. You pick up your once pristine white dress, now crumpled and dirty from the floor. You pour, seeing as it was picture perfect only this morning. You sigh, placing it over your head.
“Now, come on. We’ve got a church to decorate.” He winks at you, grabbing a box of decorations and walking out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and feelings.
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Tags: @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin
A/N: sorry but i think it’s absolutely ironic that I’m posting this on the day i’m actually going to church (christening).
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bucknastysbabe · 5 months
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I can have an aegon ii crying and whining (love to see that man cry) because he knows you're going to break up with him....
I hope this is alright, thanks for the request. Xoxo
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Rating: Mature
Tags: TW//Alcohol abuse, addiction, verbal and emotional abuse, alcoholic/addict Aegon, codependency, description of DTs, break-up, man tears, modern!au, sorry I projected my alcoholism on this, man tears whiny pathetic babykins
A/N: Sorry Anon if I took some liberties, I felt this as a good reason for him to be crybaby. Alcoholic projection gets me ass sometimes
“No-nononono!,” Aegon cried from behind you.
You poured the last of his bottle out of the sink. The fucker had hidden the booze in your boots. Your boots. After boldly claiming he was sober, clean, and going to meetings. Alas, here you were again, Aegon whining and begging once again. Cycle of insanity as that blue book he owned said. Fat tears leaked from his wide orbs, lips trembling, face blotchy and red.
“You lied to me!,” you barked.
He tugged at his hair, big violet eyes fixated on that precious liquid going down the drain. Aegon whimpered, “Stop. Stop it! I’m sorry, I- I- I won’t do it anymore! I hid it for an emergency!” He sobbed as you placed the now empty bottle onto the counter.
This was on and off for what felt like the entirety of the relationship. It was fun at first— party Prince Aegon Targaryen. You two would go all night. You began to grow tired of the non-stop celebration. He’d keep going, snorting in the bathroom, taking something to sleep, leaving to hang out with the ‘bros’. Always had a reason to have something in his system.
You didn’t know if he had ever cheated. It felt he cheated on you with the bottle— ‘his baby’ he so fondly referred to alcohol one time. He had to take an extra semester only to land on academic probation. You graduated and got a job, got a place with Aegon. Upon moving in you expressed your feelings about his habits, the blonde apologizing and swearing he’d be on the straight and narrow.
Your stupid simple heart thought he would change, the little oath he made would settle Aeg some. He did at first, snuggling down for movies, grandiose gifts, and dinner for two with one cup of wine. Looking back on Aegon’s behavior he was too settled— a little hazy, forgetful, coming in and out of the world. Checking his bedside drawer that night explained the situation. Bars upon bars of Xanax in a bag. Something to quell the annoyance of being a real boyfriend.
That was a big fight. You ‘broke up’ with him on the spot. Aegon immediately burst into sobs, crying and promising to do better. No more pills. You believed him, again, the fucker even charmed you back into bed. ‘Making love’, holding hands as he filled you up, promising and apologizing. Sorry sorry sorry.
It’s about all he could muster anymore with you. Sorry.
You swallowed a sob and warbled, “You keep saying you’re going to change Aegon! It never happens! Here were are again, finding your little lies all over the place. You need help! Sorry doesn’t change shit baby. I’m done, I’m done with this. Do you even think about my feelings?”
He whined in distress, walking over and dropping to his knees. You let your sick baby cry into your stomach, arms wrapped tight around you. Sighing heavily you pet his white hair, nose wrinkling at the booze coming off his skin, the sink, everywhere.
He looked up with reddened eyes, pretty lips trembling as he begged, “You’ve got to help me, please, I can’t stop. I don’t want to lose you. Don’t leave me alone, I-I’m scared.” Every part of your body wanted to believe him. The trust had been long shattered like the bottle he threw at the wall one time— smashing it in a drunken rage.
“Why can’t you just piss off and let me do my thing? Fucking ball and chain!”
Aegon whined your name some more, gripping harder. He whimpered, “You won’t leave me right? Right my love?” You looked away and wiped a tear. He clung harder, sobbing, “No, please love, puh-please, no.” Wrenching free from the grip you shook your head. He tried to grab again, you stepping backward with a hand up.
“No Aegon. You need to seek help. For yourself, not me. I’m done. You’ve hurt me enough,” softening your tone you added, “Baby, you’re very very sick. You’ll die. Make a choice.”
He looked disgustingly sad and pathetic on his knees, hands wrenching at whatever was available. Aegon’s brow furrowed as he hissed, “So you’re like the rest— just leaving me.” You sighed in pity, running a hand over your brow. This was getting harder by the second, the damn man wearing you down to a nub.
“No Aegon. You made them leave. Pushed all of us away on your pursuit for, for, whatever you’re seeking inside.”
He warbled, “Don’t say that.”
“Just go look in the mirror. Call your mother.”
You stepped out of the wretched apartment, Aegon’s wailing filling your ears. ‘Don’t leave me!’ You’d break down later. It felt like a gaping wound settled in your chest. You idly wondered if Aegon felt like that— needing to fill the pocket with anything that didn’t make the blonde feel like himself.
Aegon stared in the mirror, puking after a short gaze. He hated what stared back at him. Hated everything really. Now he had nothing to suck on to take the pain away. No baby to coddle him, his baby, who he used and abused like everything else. Aegon sniffled and wiped his mouth. Leaning on the wall in front of the toilet he dialed his mother's number. Straight to voicemail.
“Hey Mom. I need help. Like, put me somewhere help.”
He frowned at how worn down and whiny his voice sounded. Whatever. What did he have left anyway? A future? Maybe. He stared up at the ceiling, feeling the inevitable shakes begin. There might be a hidden spot up in the fake fireplace. The prince would get it when he’d start shaking enough to lose the ability to walk.
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tooweirdforyou · 3 years
Text
How The OP Boys Say “I Love You” To Their S/O
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How You Know He Loves You- idk man
A/N : enjoy.
includes » Ace, Sabo, Luffy, law, Sanji, Zoro, Marco, Rosinante, Kid, Shanks, Mihawk, Katakuri, Izo, Koby, Cavendish,
Summary : the boys’ own way of saying “I love you”, with their own words and ways. Or, how you know he loves you.
? Wait did I do this before? I don’t even know. also these aren’t GREAT, but they aren’t HORRIBLE. Yk? Honestly tho, some of these seem like they’re all over the place, which yes, they might be. UGH IT WAS SO HARD THO.
-
Monkey D. Luffy
Luffy loves you like an adventure. Everything is new and always fun to try with him, and no matter what happens, you don’t ever regret it, because you’re doing it with him.
He’s persistent in staying with you everywhere, he wants to do everything with you. He tends to invite you ( by pulling your hand ) to do crazy things with him and away from the others so you’re alone.
He’s always showing off his skills and stupidity in order to make you laugh, because your smile is the best thing he’s ever seen and giggles are the beautiful sound he treasures.
His actions are genuine when he holds your hand and pulls you to his side all the time, with the warmest, loving grin.
Luffy always makes sure to remind you to never give up hope.
“Let’s go on an adventure together, [Name].”
-
Roronoa Zoro
Zoro loves you like you’re his one and only. No one has priority over you, ( except maybe Luffy ), and you will always be his, if you’ll let him.
Zoro is not a man of many words when it comes to his own emotions and feelings, so he shows it through his actions.
He always has an eye on you, so wherever you are is where he ‘sleeps’ so he can keep you close, his swords at his side to protect you from danger, ( but he knows you can handle yourself. )
Zoro is the perfect person to lend a comforting shoulder and ear. He will listen to every single one of your problems intently and if he can, will offer the best advice you’ll hear, even if it’s a bit harshly. However, whatever got you so down, Zoro will bring you back up.
Zoro is always reminding you that you are strong, no matter how tough things get.
“Oi, come take a nap with me. I could use a body pillow.”
-
Portgas D. Ace
Ace loves you like a gentleman, respecting boundaries, bowing to the elderly you pass by together and always ready to pick you up for your date at seven, bouquet of flowers in hand.
If Ace is good at anything, it’s knowing how to distract you with a good time. He knows the best way to bring a beautiful smile to your lips and can easily make sure to avoid the thoughts that brought you down in the first place.
He’ll share stories that will make you die of laughter or feel so wholesome that you literally melt at how sweet it is.
The few times he expresses and shares his insecurities to you, something he hides within him because he trusts you enough to do so. He loves your understanding and comfort for him.
Ace always reminds you that you’ll be okay, even at the worst times.
“You are the light of my life.”
-
Chief of Staff Sabo
Sabo loves you like a prince. He holds the door for you, takes your hand so you don’t fall, has the most charismatic smile on his face and is just so charming.
Sabo will remember the littlest things, the smallest details that you yourself don’t even know until he reminds you, and because of this, you are often gifted the most memorable and cherishing gifts, like the scarf you two bought for your perfect snowman, to the necklace you were staring a little too longingly at on display.
He’s always busy, but he doesn’t hesitate to drop whatever he has just for you. He will run through fire if it means you’ll stop crying or if you’ll be happy to see him. You are his lifeline, his soul, his love.
He may not know how to properly cheer you up like his brothers can, but he knows that he wants the best for you. If you need space, you got it. You need some tender loving cuddles and buckets of ice cream while watching Disney movies? Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?
Sabo reminds you that you deserve happiness and peace.
“Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”
-
Trafalgar D. Water Law
Law loves you like you’re his savior, someone who’s always there during his time of need and insecurities, by his side when he needs you most.
He’s a little blunt and straightforward occasionally, but he’s honest somewhat. He won’t ever tell you his feelings until he deems it the right time, but you can tell he has feelings by the change in treatment.
He’ll keep you closer to him, making excuses by saying that he needs you to help him with the supply run, or that he needs your assistance with a particular menial task.
He’s awkward and shy about it at first but he cares and that’s all you need to know. Especially once you catch him during one of his weaker times, the anniversary of a particular someone rolling around, where he’s locked in his room. He needs you beside him, so please don’t leave him when he needs you.
Law reminds you that you are human, that it’s okay to be vulnerable.
“Just stay here with me.”
-
Vinsmoke Sanji
Sanji loves you like a god/goddess. He will treat you with the utmost respect and care and offers you everything you could possibly want or need, just say the word.
His genuine, endless daily compliments are given to you with pure love and passion, his daily refreshments and snacks to keep you energized and hydrated keeps an eye out for your health.
He makes sure you know the true meaning of flattery, chivalry and love, because that is all he can show you.
However, under that chivalrous exterior, is his calmer, understanding loving self, where he shows his true self and when he finally shares this side with you, where he holds his insecurities, it’s the true honor and love you can receive. And it’s even better, when you become the one who loves for him in return during this time.
Sanji reminds you that you deserve to be and are loved.
“You are my world, my everything.”
-
Marco The Phoenix
Marco loves you like a married couple who grew old together, still playing jokes and having fun to life’s fullest, no matter your age.
He’s constantly lecturing you for the smallest things repeatedly, since you always seem to forget. His lectures lack any annoyance or malice though, he’s just kind of done with you sometimes.
Nonetheless, he’s taking care of you more than you think, always the first one there whenever you need help. He’s always prepared for whatever you need so you don’t have to look for it and get worried.
He’s stern at times but he loves you more than you could ever know, often questioning himself whenever he’s beside you. He half-lidded eyes watching you with warmth and admiration because you always look so determined.
Marco always reminds you that you are free. To live life to its fullest and however you wish.
“Let me fly you to the moon.”
-
Donquixote Rosinante
Rosinante loves you like a husband, he treats you like his wife, either you or him welcoming each other home after being gone for so long and greeting each other with a loving kiss each time.
He knows just how tough things can be and as much as he tries to make things right, he knows how bad situations really are and no matter how much he wants to cry or get angry, he always holds a smile, in front of you. To assure you that things will be okay.
He gives the warmest hugs, and knows that, so whenever you’re angry or sad, or just randomly at times, Rosi envelops you into a large hug, waddling you back and forth a few times, you feel instant relief and content, which makes him smile.
His priority will always be you, even if he’s hundreds of thousands miles away, he will find his way back home to you. He surprises you with the littlest gifts; being flowers, jewelry, candles, or more.
Rosi will always remind you to smile, even during the hardest times.
“I will protect you.”
-
Eustass Kid
Kid loves you like a game, it’s unexpected, unpredictable of what will happen and it’s exciting and thrilling. For you both, one wrong move, and the other is gone for good, but perhaps, second chances/rematches are available.
He can be brash and a bit much, but Kid has high respect for anyone who actually makes it onto his crew and can actually tolerate him, you included.
He’s loud and wild but that only makes it part of the fun. With such a short fuse, as long as you play your cards right and pick your moments to bite back, it’s kind of fun knowing how dangerous it can be with a guy like Kid, and he also loves it equally, because your feistiness is attractive.
Being a bad bitch that doesn’t play by the rules is so incredibly attractive and Kid knows how to reward and punish so tread carefully. ;) however, he has his down moments and as annoying he can be, he does appreciate the effort you give if you try to comfort him. He’ll be harsh about it but eventually, he just wants you to be with him in the end.
Kid reminds you to rebel, take risks and enjoy the thrill of getting in dangerous situation every once in a while, breaking a few rules doesn’t hurt anybody. Most of the time.
“Don’t fucking ever leave me.. okay?”
-
Dracule Mihawk
Mihawk loves you like you’re an empress, only the finest and highest quality for you, nothing else can compare.
Mihawk will buy you the most expensive dress that suits you, with an equally expensive matching jewelry to go with. Not to mention the heels, and, tch, how could he forget the roses you require? Despicable.
As much as he loves to show you off, he despises the stares of awe and admiration you receive whenever you go out, so his possessiveness takes over and he has an arm around your waist at all times, successfully showing you’re taken and to back off if they don’t wish to be cut into oblivion.
He trains you to handle yourself, obviously, you should know at least some basic skills. He’s not too hard on you but does push you to keep going until you truly wish to stop. It’s only because he’s worried that one day, he won’t be there and won’t be able to protect you.
Mihawk reminds you that you are a queen/king, a strong person who shall hold your ground and never back down from fear and show your bravery.
“Come here, mi amor.”
-
Red Haired Shanks
Shanks loves you like you’re his future. It’s an unknown journey, but he’s there for the ride and whatever may happen, he’s there staying and won’t be going anywhere, unless it’s with you.
The red head is a goofball, he drinks, parties and messes around but he is an incredible captain and genuine to a fault. So when he expresses kindness, it is purely from his heart and not out of manners.
He is extremely playful and yet when down to business, he is calm, collected, and cool. He knows just what to say in tough situations and great comforting advice, so he’s the one to go to when you’re feeling down. And as laid back as he is, disrespect to those he loves is the one shit he won’t take.
He’ll hold you close and with his signature grin, compliment you and tell you how much he appreciates you and as soon as someone lays a finger on you, his hand is on the hilt of the sword and he waits three seconds for an explanation before he cuts them down. No one messes with his beloved.
Shanks reminds you of loyalty. To always protect and care for those close to you, and keep that built up trust and bond you created with them.
“Trust me. I won’t let go of you.”
-
Charlotte Katakuri
Katakuri loves you like you’re glass, he’s careful, protective, cautious and treats you like you’re fragile, because he’s afraid of hurting you.
He’s larger than most, he’s aware of that, so he always takes the precautions to be aware of his surroundings, especially when you are around. He wants you safe and he will be devastated if he is the cause of your pain.
His large stature is a blessing to you though, because cuddling is so comfortable and comforting, it’s amazing. You can curl up and relax and just be at ease with him, because he’s so protective of you, even from his family members. He often keeps you away from Cracker and Perospero, in the slightest chance that they try to take you away from him.
He’ll be extremely heartbroken if Big Mom doesn’t approve of you, but his love for you is stronger, so he’ll keep it a secret if he has to but eventually, he’ll pray and wish for her blessing, asking the help of his siblings to convince her.
Katakuri reminds you of family, that even friends or crewmates are family and love you all the same.
“I will be here for you.”
-
Captain Koby
Koby loves you like a typical high school crush. He’s all shy and blushy, and evidently embarrassed when the pretty one at school is talking to him, ( that’s you. ).
He’s like the wallflower type, who tries to blend in but somehow, he sticks out in a way that lures you to him, like he’s hit the jackpot.
He is incredibly sweet, and his shyness is so adorable. You can’t help but coo whenever you see his red cheeks and soft smile of care he offers.
Always helps you with everything, will take the blame whenever you get in trouble, takes the suffering and pain when guys try to mess with you, and no matter how tough things get, he’s holding a brave face for you.
Koby reminds you of kindness, treat everyone with care and kindness, and it goes a long way.
“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”
-
16th Division Commander Izo
Izo loves you like you’re a painting, he thinks you are true beauty, inside and out, you are a work of art, a true Mother Nature masterpiece born. One to be admired.
The type to be there. He’ll hold your hair while you vomit, rubbing soothing circles on your back while you cry, painting your nails while you complain about Ace, assure your perfection when you’re feeling insecure.
Best advice giver, holds no judgements at all. He’ll help with anything, because you need him. Romantic advice, friendship, sexual advice ;), he will help you any way he can.
He truly admires you, not because of your beauty, but your strength to be able to cry. Crying doesn’t mean weakness but rather, strength to be able to move forward even in the worst of times.
Izo reminds you that you are beautiful, no matter what anyone thinks or says.
“You are true beauty, my love.”
-
Cavendish Of The White Horse
Cavendish loves you like you’re a princess, and he is your handsome Prince Charming.
Every thing he does it like from a fairytale, if it involved a rather.. bit of a narcissistic Prince Charming. But he means well, because he still treats you like a real princess.
He gives you daily horseback rides, teaching you with his strong arms wrapped around yours and his black fancy hat on top of your head, as you two ride around and share laughs and memories.
And even through his big ego, he still makes sure to compliment you, tell you how proud he is of you and how much he truly admires you for your strong will and determination, because he really does love you. More than you know.
Cavendish reminds you that dreams can come true, sometimes it just takes a leap of faith and effort.
“I will treat you like the princess you are and deserve to be.”
-
A/N : 15 fucking people and having to think of different things while I’m distracted is so HARD. 😭 please tell me you enjoyed though ;-;
but did I do this already? God I can’t remember a thing, especially since I still haven’t updated my masterlists- and I’m terribly sorry if this really is all over the place ;-; also apologies if this is repetitive for some of them! It really is difficult yk ;-;
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shorkbrian · 3 years
Note
So happy your requests are open and I don't mind the wait at all!
I just really want to see a sweet quirkless omega going into heat and sending her alpha Overhaul (Kai Chisaki) into a hard rut and he just pins her to a wall and fucks the life out of her before taking her to the bedroom to knot her.
but you do know that it would 100% be like "hate sex" on Chisaki's part (even though he kinda do like it lol)
(Kinda overhaul x reader x chrono btw but only for a little bit)
Just. Overhaul being able to tolerate you being kept at his compound because one, you're his mate, whether he likes it or not.
Two, you're quirkless.
And three? You don't bother him, you stay out of the way and you have passable hygiene when compared to Chisaki's standards.
But that has to be thrown out the window the second Chrono hauls you into Chisaki's office, the man in charge of watching you when Chisaki isn't around flustered and pink around his ears.
"B-boss, your omega, she's-"
"What the fuck is that smell." Chisaki growls, eyes immediately snapping to your trembling form. Taking in the way you're gasping, sweaty, barely able to stand even with Chrono's hand tight around your bicep and holding you up.
For some reason, the sight of Chrono touching you makes Chisaki itch. Odd, that usually wouldn't bother him.
The smell is cloying; too intense and too sweet, it makes his throat burn and his skin crawl.
"I think she's in-"
"Please, it hurts." You choke out, cutting off Chrono. "Need... I need-"
Chisaki recoiled as the scent got stronger, clouding his senses, making him feel... Chisaki didn't even know. Excited? Tingly?
Uncomfortable - he decided.
"Get her out. Give her a bath too, she smells disgusting." He commanded, but Chrono stepped forward instead of back out the door.
"Boss, she's in heat."
Heat?
Oh.
Overhaul cringed.
Logically, he knew it was going to happen eventually. But on the other hand, he had hoped his omega would be different. you was already quirkless, already pure... surely it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to assume that you wouldn't be affected by the mindless heat-addling that Omega's all seemed to undergo?
His irritation was rising.
"So?"
Chrono looked at his boss with questioning eyes, unsure what to do with the omega becoming increasingly more distressed at his side.
"You'll get her over it." Chisaki decides, ignoring the bitter taste that floods his mouth as he utters those words. His eyes slide over you again, lip curling into a disgusted sneer.
"Messy thing."
Chrono is frozen in disbelief. But this isn't a test of his loyalty, Chisaki truly doesn't want to deal with the germs and the mess and the cleanup associated with omega's during their heats. Slick everywhere, pheromones staining the room, needy hands touching everywhere-
"Sit her down on the couch." He instructs his second-in-command, rising from his office chair and stepping around his desk so he can close the door. "I want to make sure you don't damage her."
That's the only reason. Only reason he wants to be present and watching while Chrono fucks you through your heat.
"You're serious then?" The white-haired man asks, removing the plague mask he wears while inside the compound, thus beginning the process of disrobing.
Chisaki waved his hand idly, resuming his position in his office chair with a tired sigh. "It'd be such a chore for me to do it myself. Aren't you an alpha yourself Chrono? You should be jumping at the chance to bed a nice quirkless omega."
Chrono shrugs off his white coat, looking up from where you're panting on the couch while he stands in front of you, eyes finding his boss. "I wouldn't want to overstep my boundaries with your property."
The brunette smiles, not that anyone can see, but it's clear he's pleased by the crinkle near his eyes, the relaxed way he slumps in his chair. "And that's why you're my favorite Chrono."
You're wearing what you usually wear - long pants, a cozy sweater. Overhaul hasn't heard you complain about the chill in the compound, but it's clear to see it affects you by the way you dress and the way your nose darkens from the cold.
You don't fight the half-naked Chrono as he helps you out of your sweater, unbothered by the temperature of the room and looking entirely too hot and sweaty.
Chisaki supposes it's good that you aren't fighting. You had at first, when he first brought you here, crying and pleading for him to let you go and leave you alone. That pathetic show was quickly shut down with a simple demonstration of Overhaul's quirk, and what he'd do to you if you didn't comply.
Now you're seemingly accepting of the situation, casting nervous glances towards Chisaki, your attention constantly getting stolen by the pale man stripping in front of you.
It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before Chrono has his cock in you.
And you look completely blissed out, mouth open and letting out choked little gasps on each thrust, one hand desperately trying to hold onto Chrono's shoulder, his arm, his chest - anything you can reach.
The other hand is on your stomach, and Chisaki doesn't understand why until he focuses on it, sees the distention whenever Chrono swings his hips into you.
Chisaki feels himself throb.
The sounds you're making sound like music. Awful music, all discordant and rushed and pornographic, stuttered breaths and pitiful cries, high-pitched and girlish moans in between Chrono's quiet huffs.
The sweet pheromones in the air become sweeter, thicker, and Chisaki can see the direct correlation between the smell and how much slick is dripping out of you, drenching Chrono's pretty cock, his stomach, even splattering his thighs on each thrust as his cock squelches deeper.
It's disgusting.
Digusting but curiously enamoring. Chrono's got you sitting on the couch, pushed up against the back while he fucks you. It's a tall piece of furniture, and Chrono merely hikes his leg up onto the cushions to gain a better angle to fuck you with. Your slick is everywhere; Chisaki knows that couch won't be salvageable after this. Somehow, he doesn't mind.
What he does mind, however, is the way Chrono is speeding up, rhythm stuttering and practically falling apart. He's going to knot you. Chisaki had given him full permission to - that's what taking care of an omega during their heat means, after all. But jealousy is boiling inside him, blood painfully engorging his cock, he feels tingly all over, very unlike himself.
He wants to touch you.
But you're a disgusting mess, smelling sweet and fertile and sweating and dripping everywhere. Chisaki can't believe he's feeling... attracted to you right now.
"O-ohh feels good, r-right there! Yes, thank you,t-than-" You mumble out, drunk on cock as you shudder through an orgasm, cream gushing out of your cunt and further dirtying Chisaki's office.
Chisaki sees red.
He's furious - not only at you, but at Chrono for touching you, and for himself for explicitly allowing it to happen. Chrono's about to knot you, claim you, and Chisaki is out of his chair before he knows what's happening.
"That's enough." And his gloved hands are ripping Chrono away from you, sending the other man reeling as his subordinate struggles to control his alpha instincts and stop himself from fighting his boss, tearing Chisaki to shreds for interrupting his mating.
Chisaki doesn't care, he's too focused on you.
"You're so pathetic." The man hisses at you, crowding into your space. When had he taken off his mask? He wanted to smell more of you.
His gloves are gone too, ripped away in a moment so he can feel your wet skin against his hands, feel the sweat beading your brow before those same fingers snap to undo his pants.
"I hate you, I hate you." He seethes, golden eyes staring at you so intently that you start to cry, overwhelmed with the situation, still craving a knot, craving intimacy and tenderness.
You've reduced him down to barely better than an animal, tearing at his clothes so he can sink into you, closing his eyes at the way you're wet and warm inside, perfect and velvety.
Chisaki doesn't know what's come over him. Normally he'd be disgusted, absolutely incensed at having such filth be in direct contact with his skin. But right now... all he feels is pleasure ripping through his veins, clouding his head, his mind, flushing rational thought down the toilet.
"Stupid, hate you-" his words rattle out on each rapid thrust, breath uneven and labored as his muscles stretch and work to fuck you harder and faster. He's building up to his peak.
One of his hands is fisted in your hair, close to your scalp and keeping you still, the other hand clamped firmly against your hip and making sure you don't wiggle away. Alpha instincts taking over as his brain convinces him to mate, breed, cum.
"You're so fucking dirty." He gasps, voice heated and gravelly as he struggles to fight through the heat taking over his body.
He's going into a rut.
Chisaki isn't supposed to do that. He takes supplements and suppressants to ensure he doesn't have too. Ruts are messy, nasty things to endure, and Chisaki would rather lick the floor of a dirty subway than experience one.
Yet here he is.
"You disgusting, wretched thing-" And you're crying, fat tears mixing with sweat and rolling down your chin. Chisaki feels disgusting himself, wanting to lick the liquid away.
He hasn't felt this good in his entire life, this burning fever pitch rising and rising and cresting, blazing along his nerves.
He can barely thrust his hips anymore, and only then does Chisaki realizes that he's popped his knot, jammed it in deep while you cried and moaned and struggled to hold onto him.
Theres a sick sense of satisfaction filling him up, his mind clears for half a second and Chisaki thinks to look over his shoulder, seeing Chrono still standing there with a soured look on his face, cock still swollen and drippy and bobbing purple against the man's stomach.
"Get out." Chisaki orders, and Chrono knows enough to merely pick up his coat and wrap it around himself before exiting the room. He's never seen his boss like this - so feral and unhinged and debauched like some regular dirty plebeian.
But Chisaki doesn't care. Odd.
He cares about grinding against you, feeling you milk every last drop of cum from his balls, shimmying his hips to hear you gasp and moan and clutch at his body, trembling like a little lamb.
Chisaki doesn't want to stop.
"As soon as my knot goes down-" He growls, lowering his face until it's mere inches from your own, breathing into your space. "I'm going to take you to my room and knot you until you break."
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oh-katsuki · 3 years
Text
Such A Fucking Klutz (Toji x Reader)
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Pairing: Toji x Reader , Megumi x Reader (watching)
Content: Smut, fingering, size kink, maid outfit, slight dumbification, psuedo-incest, dub-con, corruption kink, daddy kink, voyeurism
TW: Size kink, dub-con, psuedo-incest, dumbification, corruption kink, daddy kink, voyeurism
Word Count: 2.9k
A/N: This is so fucking dirty to me LMFAO, absolutely filthy. Archive fic
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Megumi wasn’t really sure why his dad hired a maid. After all, they managed all the cooking and cleaning in the house just fine on their own and nothing in particular stood out to him as being an unmanageable burden. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out why his father would spend extra money on something they absolutely didn’t need. All of his questions were answered when he arrived at home.
He was greeted by you, standing in their modest kitchen in a slutty maid’s outfit that his father no doubt had you wear. Garter belts wrapped around your mid-thigh, holding up knee high white socks that squeezed the plush skin of your thighs deliciously. The dress you wore hugged your body, the skirt loosening at the bottom so that the back of it rose up slightly as to where the underside of your ass would be visible if you bent down. Of course his father would have you wear some shit like that. You looked like a klutz, sloppily wiping down the counter with a lackadaisical smile on your lips until you noticed Megumi.
“Oh!” Your mouth dropped open. “You must be Toji’s son! Hi, I’m _____.” You spoke in somewhat of a singsong voice, approaching him as if the outfit you were wearing didn’t make you look like you’d walked right out of a porno. You had innocent eyes, his dad always liked shit like that, the fucking creep.
“Hey.” Megumi spoke, struggling to keep his eyes from wandering down your figure, made small by the uniform. “Good to meet you.” He’d noticed how young you looked, only a few years older than him and for a moment, it crossed his mind that he could fuck you stupid on this kitchen table before his father got home. Megumi’s cheeks flushed.
“Likewise.” You peered up at him, taking in his pretty appearance before turning and getting back to your duties. The truth was, you’d never done housework before, you were just desperate for a job and when Toji offered it to you, you were inclined to take it. It was only an added bonus that the man hiring you made your pussy flutter with anticipation.
Megumi left the room, his eyes lingering over your figure once more before leaving. He didn’t want it to become obvious how much your pretty body made him want to fuck you senseless. He’d have to fuck his fist later instead, the thought of you in that maids outfit playing in his mind. Megumi wouldn’t let you bother him, though. After all, you were older than him (if only by a little), and it wasn’t any of his business who the fuck his father decided to look at.
He’d quickly discover that it wasn’t just looking when he came home early from classes one day to find Toji bouncing your body on his fat cock.
You couldn’t remember how it happened, but you assume you must have been cleaning, bent over the kitchen table to try and get as close to the center as possible. Toji just had to admire the way the garter belts bit into the flesh of your thighs, just had to admire the way your skirt rose up, exposing the plump underside of your ass, and of course he had to admire the slight line of your pretty pussy on your underwear. But you just had to ruin the sight by kicking the bucket beside you over, spilling the water across the floor.
“Shit.” You mutter, running to the kitchen and grabbing a rag to wipe it up. You get on your hands and knees, muttering apologies to Toji as he looks down at you. He likes the way your skirt now fully exposes your ass, and the way it sways back and forth as you sloppily wipe up the water on the floor. You really were bad at this.
“Such a fucking klutz, hm?” Toji spoke, walking so he was in front of your hands. “Interrupting the show like that.”
You looked up at him, your eyes wide. You were so clueless, so innocent, and such a fucking tease. It made Toji’s blood boil. Before you could open your mouth to speak, his thick fingers were coming to grip your jaw, pulling you upwards slightly as he leaned down.
“You’re awful at cleaning.” He seethed, his breath hot on your face. “What’re you gonna do to make it up to me?”
You let out a whimper, arousal pooling in your core as you rubbed your legs together to get some friction. You looked so small compared to him, like he could snap you in half if he really wanted to, so his grip on your face had your heart pumping against your chest. Your hand came up to grab his wrist, a small whimper escaping your mouth.
“ ‘nything,” You mumbled.
“I can’t fucking hear you.” Toji spat back, his fingers squeezing your jaw tighter.
“Anything!” Your voice caught in your throat and you squirmed. Fuck, you could see how hard he was through his pants, the way his cock strained against his waistband. It looked so thick and had you drooling at the thought. “I’ll do anything,,, daddy.”
The word slipped from your mouth automatically, but Toji gave a sadistic smirk, his eyes dipping to your lips before he released his grip on your jaw, shoving you back slightly.
“Stay on your knees.” Toji moved around the table so his back rested against the side, his hands gripping the edge. You could see the outline of his cock and your eyes moved from it to him as you licked your lips hungrily. Fuck, he looked huge, looked like he would fill you up and more. You weren’t even sure if he’d fit in you at all. “Suck it.”
He beckoned you closer, undoing his belt and freeing his cock from the confines of his pants. It popped up, slapping against his stomach with a low thump. Toji was fucking massive,,, everywhere. What you thought you saw through his pants was only a fraction of the main show and you whined at the sight, your big eyes meeting his own in a mixture of fear and arousal.
“Go on, get it wet for daddy.” Toji spoke, his hands moving back to the edge of the table as you brought yourself nearer to his cock.
You gave it a few kitten licks but he put a fist in your hair, angling your head up to look at him.
“Like you mean it.” Toji said, pushing your head back down onto his cock so you could lick a flat stripe up the side before taking the tip in your mouth. His dick was hot and pulsing against your tongue and so hard that it felt like it was fit to burst.
Toji let out a prolonged groan, his eyes coming back to meet yours as you struggled to fit all of him into your mouth. He was huge and beyond thick too, there was no way you were fitting all of him in your mouth without help. As you began to pull your mouth off of his length, Toji let out an angry grunt.
“All the way, princess.” His voice was taunting as he pushed you down further onto his cock, drinking in the sounds of the way you moan and choke around him. Fuck he wanted to be buried in that little pussy of yours, wanted to split you open, but he had to teach you a lesson first, show you how to be a good girl for him.
Finally he let you off of him, and you let out a cough, gasping for air before quickly returning to sucking his dick, your hands pumping what you weren’t fitting into your mouth. You were so wet by now, so needy for him that you were moaning into his dick, salivating as you drooled over it. The sounds alone were enough to have you whimpering for him and clenching your thighs together for friction.
“You’re such a fucking whore, huh? Been wantin’- hng- Daddy’s cock, haven’t you?” He sneered at you, his voice catching as you caught a sensitive spot.
You nodded, his cock still filling your mouth as you did so, the angle changing slightly.
“Fuuuuck, just like that.” Toji groaned, the hand in your hair tightening before he yanked you off of him. “You want my cock in the little pussy of yours? Want daddy to fuck you good, hm?”
You nodded, spit covering your lips and chin, and you reached a hand down to rest over your pussy. “Yes, daddy p-please. Want you so bad.” You cried out, your head falling back in a whiney moan.
“Apologize first.”
“M’sorry daddy, m’sorry for spilling the bucket, please.” You whimpered, your hand brushing your clit over your panties.
Toji picked you up off the ground and turned, setting you down on the table and spreading your legs open so his hands could have better acces to your aching cunt. He pulled the uniform down, tugging at one of your nipples before running his hands down the side of your body, sliding the dress down. His hands were rough and his grip was harsh as he grabbed your thigh, his other hand moving your panties aside.
“So fucking wet for me.” He let out a dark chuckle. “Guess you really are a fucking whore.”
He took four fingers to your pussy, running them up your soaking slit before rubbing lazy circles over your clit. Your head fell back in a whine, his movements relieving some of the tension that had been building. Toji loved your reactions, the way your eyes would widen in nervousness when he touched you exceptionally good, made him want to see you do it to yourself.
Toji took your hand, placing it over your clit and moving it in circles, his eyes dark. “Keep doing it like that, princess and I can help you.”
You gave a nod, hoping that you were doing it right for him as he plunged two calloused fingers into your pussy. They were already thicker than anything you’d had before and you whined at the stretch, your hand faltering as your breath caught it your throat. How the fuck could someone’s fingers fill you up so well.
“Don’t stop working that slutty clit of yours, or I won’t help you.” You took your bottom lip between your teeth, nodding and working your fingers through the strain. Fuck he felt good filling you up like that, felt so good as his fingers curled into that spot inside of you and his eyes bored down at the way your hand worked against your own cunt.
But you needed him, needed more, and so your hand picked up the pace, doing just what he taught you. Toji grunted at the sight, adding another finger without warning, causing you to yelp.
“Daddy, more, gimme more. More.” You whined, your hand working against your clit as you began to lose yourself in your impatience. He pulled his fingers from you.
“Y’know, I was gonna take my time getting you ready, but you’re such a slut, begging like that. ‘M just gonna give it to you, don’t fucking complain if it hurts.”
Toji grabbed your arms and pick you up so his dick was postured below your throbbing cunt. He could feel the heat from you radiating onto him, your slick starting to run down your inner thighs, and you whined out in impatience. Slowly, he lowered you down onto his thick cock, gritting his teeth as your pussy stretched to fit him.
Fuck, he was already filling you up and he’d barely pushed the tip in. His head was angled down to look at the way your tiny cunt swallowed his cock. Toji could feel the way you fluttered around him, trying so hard to take all of him in you. You swear you could feel him in your throat, and tears started to brim in your eyes at the way his thick cock was splitting you open.
“F-fuck.” You choked out. “S’ too much, daddy. S’too much.”
Toji chuckled, continuing to lower you down. “Too much? But you were just begging for it? Thought you wanted daddy to fuck you.”
“S’ big.” You babbled, tears now spilling down your cheeks.
“Too fucking bad.” You gasped as he bottomed out in you. You felt so full, you’d never been so full in your life. It hurt like a bitch, it did, but when you turned your gaze downward to look at where your little pussy swallowed his thick cock, you couldn’t help but groan. It was so hot, and his body was so hard against yours as his hands gripped the meat of your ass, spreading you open for him.
“You’re so fucking tight.” Toji groaned, rolling his hips against yours, adjusting his grip on you so he could bounce you on him as he pleased.
Already the heat in your stomach was building as Toji pulled out all the way to the head. His dick dragged against your walls, hitting every possible spot within you. Your fingernails dug into his back and he slammed you back down onto his cock. Fuck you were already close, and it was only one more thrust before your pussy fluttered around him, hugging his cock with your walls as you came for the first time, a strangled cry leaving your lips.
“You fucking cum already?” Toji brought a hand up, pinching your nipple hard to elicit a yelp from you. “Fine, but I don’t want to hear that whore mouth of yours complaining, because I’m not gonna stop.”
With those words, he lifted you up and plunged you back down onto him with a smack, his hips snapping up to meet yours. He had you by the ass, pulling your body on and off of his cock at a ruthless pace. Toji was so thick, especially around the middle, and each thrust had you feeling more full than the last.
“So f-fucking full.” You managed to choke out between thrusts.
“Yeah? You’re so fucking tight, I can feel you sucking me in.” Toji tilted his head to look down at where you connect. “Look at how well that pussy takes me.”
Your hand moved down to grip his bicep, your head resting on his collarbone as you watched the way he bounced you up and down, each snap of his hips making a slapping sound that echoed through the empty kitchen. Toji didn’t mind the way your nails dug into his skin, he was so focused on absolutely ruining that pretty pussy of yours. He wanted to make you his, so that you could never fuck another guy again, wanted to ruin you.
Like father like son. That’s the harrowing thought that crossed Megumi’s mind as he watched you in his kitchen. The way your tits bounced, and the moans that fell from your lips as his dad fucked into you.
He’d come home early, skipped club activities hoping to catch a glimpse of you in that uniform again. Megumi got more than he bargained for. The uniform was bunched at your waist, and your tits bounced beautifully every time Toji drove you down onto his cock.
He should feel guilty, should feel terrible, and should have left as soon as he realized what was happening, but he lingered a little too long. He lingered just long enough to commit the bounce of your tits to memory, and just long enough to remember the way your pussy stretched to fit that cock inside of you.
“Wanna cum again?” Toji asked, his arms bouncing you up and down at a furious pace, completely unaware of the visitor. He could feel the way your cunt fluttered around him and the way your pussy gripped his cock so tightly. His dick plunged into you, pounding into that spongy spot inside of you and hitting your cervix with each thrust.
“Yes daddy, please.” You threw your head back, a loud and long moan falling from your lips.
“Tell me how good it feels. Gonna make that pretty pussy cream on my cock.”
“S’good daddy,” You moaned, your voice getting caught in your throat, tears streaming down your face at the painful stretch. “Y’feel so fucking good, gonna cum. Please, make me cum, daddy.”
Toji groaned, pulling your body up and down on his cock, his weight shifted backwards for a deeper angle, continuing his abuse of that toe curling spot inside of you. He was close too, you could feel his length throbbing inside of you as you unravelled on top of him, squirming and crying out at the sheer force of your orgasm. Your legs shook as you came, throwing your head back in a gratuitous moan as Toji fucked up into you. It wasn’t long before he completely filled you up, white hot spurts of cum shooting into you.
Your body goes limp in Toji’s arms, and he pants, his cock still inside of you as your cunt pulses around him in the aftermath of your orgasm. A mixture of your cum would leak out of the sides if he didn’t have you stuffed so full you could feel him in your throat.
“So good daddy, thank you.” You breathe out. Toji gives a grunt of approval.
Behind the wall of the kitchen, Megumi stares at his hand, chest heaving and cum glistening on the calloused skin. He wonders how the fuck he’s gonna pretend he didn’t see a thing.
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Sugar, Sugar 15
[FIFTEEN/END]
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MASTERLIST
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape, violence, mean sugary Steve
This is a dark! sugar daddy! Steve fic. Obvious AU so please keep that in mind. :) That being said, it will be an explicit fic (18+) with noncon. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
(This chapter: violence, threats, fear  :O)
Series Summary: The reader is struggling in the big city but find opportunity before her. Will she take it?
This Chapter: The wedding day approaches but not everything goes to plan.
Author Notes: So this is another series wrapped up after a grueling two years, haha. Sorry y’all.
Please let me know what you think, like and reblog <3 love ya
🍭 🍭 🍭
The floor length mirror was trimmed with twisted gold. You stared at your reflection as your shaky hands pressed against the front of the ivory dress. The cut hid the small bump but you could not forget it. Ever since you confessed, it all happened so fast; the wedding was pushed up, the dress tailored and expedited, and invitations sent out in a rush.
It all felt surreal. The day had come but you just couldn’t accept it. How could you go through those doors and smile through it all?
You closed your eyes and let your breath out. They would knock when it was your time. Your father would be waiting to walk you down the aisle. The guests waited eagerly for the most talked about ceremony in the city. And you still felt like just a footnote in your own wedding.
You moved away from the mirror and sat unsteadily, gripping the arms of the cushioned chair, careful not to catch your veil under you. That night you told him, that was the final straw. But you didn’t forget what Sasha said. You took a picture of the broken door and wrote down the entire scene. You sent it to yourself in an email as proof.
That wasn’t the last time. You recorded Steve one day when he came in as you were texting your sister about the new date. You hadn’t answered his last message about your first appointment with the doctor. He was livid and you sat and listened to him rant as the red dots pulsed. You wrote down every instance, every time he made you appease him, every terrifying word.
Then there were the police reports. Nothing more than words in a filing cabinet but the night he choked you was just the beginning. He threatened to break your finger when you took your ring off because your hands were swelling. Then he broke your laptop when you didn’t pay him enough attention. 
As the wedding loomed closer, he only seemed to get worse. He was clingy, always touching you, marveling over your stomach. He checked in almost every hour on the hour when he was working, and you weren’t stupid enough not to notice that the building was being watched.
It was like you were living two lives and yet you were entirely trapped with him. What good could the emails do? Or the reports when the police wouldn’t act on them? You were going to marry this man and that would be the end of it; of you, of your life.
Knuckles tapped on the door and you stood. You crossed the room and inched it open the door. You flinched as you were met by an unexpected and uninvited guest.
“Sasha?” you gasped.
“You’re marrying him then?” he held the handle but you didn’t try to close the door, “the account gone, I heard nothing from you.”
“I… I’m scared,” you admitted, “when he found out, I thought he was going to--” you shook your head. He wouldn’t actually kill you.
“You know it’s not too late,” Sasha urged.
“You can’t be here, it he finds out, he’ll--”
“I’ll defend myself,” Sasha snarled uncharacteristically, “I’ll give him what he deserves.’
“No, I don’t want you to get hurt. You need to go,” you begged as you glanced past him furtively.
“I will. Come with me,” he said, “just go. Everyone’s distracted, they won’t know--”
“I can’t just leave. You don’t understand--”
“No, you don’t understand,” he argued, “if you marry him, it all gets so much more complicated. I told you that day at the café. It will be harder to fight after the vows, but right now, you can still get out.”
“And go where?”
He swallowed and looked down the hall. You could hear the distant murmur of the crowd.
“Did you do any of it? Keep a journal? Something?” he asked.
“I tried. I went to the police but nothing,” you sniffed and gripped the door tight.
“Nothing yet but that’s a start,” he chewed the inside of his lip.
“Why are you here? Why is this so important to you?”
“Because I can do something,” he hissed, “because I can’t live with it if I don’t. So come on. Come with me, I got a bigger place. It’ll have to do for now and then we’ll work on getting you standing, getting the baby somewhere to grow--”
“Am I trading him for you?”
“I’m your friend,” he said evenly, “that will never change. All I want is you safe. If it makes you feel better, I’ll sleep in the hall. You can lock me out and I’ll sleep against the door. But I came down here knowing I wouldn’t leave without you.”
“It’s a sweet fantasy but--”
“Come on,” he grabbed your hand and pushed the door open, “please, don’t go with him. It doesn’t end well. You don’t get out. It doesn’t get better.”
“I have nothing,” you quavered.
“You have me,” he said, “please don’t make me walk out of here alone.”
“I….” you uttered as your heart squeezed. “He’ll come after you.”
“Good, I want him to,” he clung to you, “please?”
You inhaled and heard the voices. Your father and your sister. You had no time to think but you knew it was your only chance.
“Let’s go,” you lifted your skirt and pulled the door shut behind you as you stepped out, “now.”
He held onto your hand as you rushed away from the voices and skirted around the corner. Sasha urged you on down the back stairs and through the maze like halls of the extravagant church. You nearly tumbled down the stairs and he caught you as you came along the narrow passage beside the main room, the guests and groom just on the other side of the wall.
You came out into the sunlight and Sasha lifted the train of your skirts as he directed you over the grass. our heels sank into the dirt as you rushed over and the organ began to play Here Comes the Bride. As he helped stuff the swathes of fabric in behind you in his modest car, the music stopped suddenly.
He closed the door as you were squished in the back seat amid your layered skirts and he got in the front. The engine turned and he nearly side swept another car as he pulled out without looking. You peeked back behind you but saw no one coming down the large steps of the church.
He turned the corner and sidled in behind a yellow cab. He looked at you in the mirror and nodded. You bit your lips nervously as reality sank in. Your chest hammered and your entire body buzzed with adrenaline. You knew it was only the beginning.
🍭
The day passed in a daze. You sat in your wedding dress waiting for all hell to break loose. Sasha sat with a beer, silently, and tapped his foot endlessly. When the silence was too much, he turned on the television but neither of you paid any attention to the old sitcom.
When the trance of disbelief dissipated, he showed you around his spacious loft. He was being paid well by Stark but you worried how long he would stay on the payroll after what he’d done. Steve wasn’t stupid and there were more photographers at the church then you’d seen collectively over the last year and a half.
“This is the second bedroom,” he showed you into a room with gleaming windows. There was a bed, a dresser, curtains, a cozy rug, all carefully selected, “I thought you’d be here sooner.”
Your eyes lingered on the box leaned against the far wall. A crib.
“Didn’t know how long…” his voice trailed off as he followed your eye line, “I’m not trying to be him. You can go anytime but I… you have a place here.”
Your eyes welled and you blotted them with your knuckles, the rough lace of your gloves scratching your cheeks, “you did all this for me?”
“I told you, I’d do anything,” he said.
“But… Sasha, I don’t--”
“I don’t expect anything from you. High school was a long time ago but you made it bearable for the biggest dweeb in the class.” He sighed and paced a circle around the room, “you know, I had the biggest crush on you. That doesn’t mean anything now, it doesn’t mean I want you to fall into my arms, but it means I want to help you. It’s the right thing to do, somehow I made a career of doing the right thing so what’s one more?”
You felt your chest sink and you covered your cheeks with your hands, “Sasha?”
“Please,” he cringed, “I was a teen boy, I think I had a thing for Oprah once. Really, it’s just… we’re friends. We’ll always be friends.”
“I can’t…” you sniffled and dropped your hands, “I don’t deserve any of this.”
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Sasha intoned, “and you don’t deserve to live like that. I know this isn’t much but I know you. You’ll find your way, you just got a little lost.”
“I…” you shook your head speechless.
“We’ll figure everything else out tomorrow. You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and then we can see about retrieving your things from Steve,” he neared the door and stopped beside you, “or we can say fuck it and you can start all over.”
You turned and slung your arms around him. You buried your face against his shoulder as tears spilled out onto his jacket.
“How did you know?” you sobbed.
“That day at the shower,” he rubbed your back gently, “you know, lawyers learn how to read people and you never were very good at subtlety.”
“No,” you chuckled through your tears, “No, it’s why I was great as a bard.”
“Mmm,” he grumbled, “if that’s how you remember it.”
🍭
It felt like Sasha was gone forever but when you checked the clock, it had only been twenty minutes. 
You sat on the couch with your feet under you as you watched the news and rocked nervously. All anyone was talking about was Steve Rogers’ runaway bride. Your face was everywhere and the statement issued by Steve made it all the worse.
He painted you as a gold-digger, as an adulterer, as a swindler. He was the heartbroken fiancé and you were the wrongdoer. You knew it would go this way but expectation never softened reality.
You flinched as the lock turned and Sasha entered with a bag in hand. He came to the couch and set it down beside you.
“I don’t know about my taste in women's clothes but those should do,” he said as he checked his watch, “we should go soon.”
“Yeah,” you stood and opened the bag to reveal the lavender blouse and dark jeans, “you really didn’t have to--”
“You kidding, he’s gonna be surrounded by cameras. You can’t win his game if you don’t play it. I’ve dealt with his type before, they’re the ones who need lawyers on standby,” he sneered, “did you eat?”
“Yeah, thanks,” you swiped up the bag and headed for the hallway, “it was good.”
“No problem,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and shut off the tv, “and ignore all that nonsense.”
You got dressed and emerged as your anxiety grew to impatience. You left the apartment in brittle silence and the car ride fed the uneasy bubbling of your stomach. .
As you came up to Steve’s building, you sat for a moment before you got out. Sasha followed and shoulder away the cameras as you neared the front door
The elevator moved slowly and fidgeted uncontrollably as it dinged on Steve’s floor. You swallowed and braced yourself to face Steve. Sasha kept a few feet back as you walked down the hall and stopped at the door. You knocked as you found it locked.
It was a while before it opened but when it did, you were startled as Steve grabbed the front of your blouse and wrenched you inside. He spun you but quickly released you as he was knocked off balance and sent sprawling over the floor. Sasha stood above him with his hands in fists.
“Hey,” he pointed at Steve then looked at you, “you okay?”
You nodded as Steve glared between the two of you and cautiously got to his feet, “so you brought your little boyfriend?”
“She’s here to get her stuff. We thought we’d avoid a police escort, as her lawyer I thought it prudent, but we can always make that phone call,” Sasha said sternly, “she is entitled to her possessions.”
“Her stuff? I paid for every single thing she has to her name. Hers? Mine.” Steve spat and reared on you again, only to be caught by Sasha as he inserted himself between you.
“You will not touch her again. Those things you bought for her were gifts. You have no legal rights to them once they are given. She will take her clothes, her phone, and any other necessities.”
“Pfft, she’s not taking anything. She’s not going anywhere,” Steve growled, “she not yours--”
“I am certain the photogs would appreciate a show,” Sasha pulled out his phone, “police? That can only be a domestic dispute.”
Steve squinted and his nose flared as he looked at you over Sasha’s shoulder, “fucking slut.” He crossed his arms and stepped aside, “get your shit, get out…” he hissed, “but I have my rights too. You will not keep me from my baby.”
“That will be settled in court,” Sasha replied coolly, “go on, get your things.”
He waved you past him as he kept you shield from Steve. He was of a height with Steve but not as broad. Even so, you felt safe behind him. You rushed down to the bedroom and quickly gathered up your toiletries and those clothes you didn’t absolutely hate. Your phone screen was shattered but you took it anyway.
As you emerged again, a bag slung on your shoulder, you slid the ring from your finger. 
“You can keep the rest,” you said as you placed the band on the small round table just inside the front room, “goodbye Steve.”
“Goodbye? Goodbye?” he spat, “this isn’t the end and you fucking know it.”
“Calm down,” Sasha warned.
“You don’t tell me what to do,” Steve shoved him, “I should fucking smash your head in--”
“I’d like you to try,” Sasha stood his ground, “really. You think the court would let a violent man be around an infant?”
Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes. He backed down and shouldered by Sasha. “Get the fuck out.”
You left quickly. You had no desire to hang around. As you stepped onto the elevator, Sasha softly touched your elbow and you winced. The bag fell to your elbow and he quickly scooped it up and heaved it over his own shoulder.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” you said, “he was so angry. I--”
“I was stupid, we should’ve brought the police. Fuck the cameras,” he said, “from this point on, no contact with him whatsoever. Only through me and the court. No talking to reporters, no nothing.”
“Yeah, that won’t be hard,” you uttered as he led you out of the elevator. 
As you came outside, cameras flashed and voices called out. You collided with Sasha as he was blocked by a photographer shouting questions, “is it true you’re pregnant? Is it Steve’s?”
“My client will not be answering questions,” Sasha kept on and made a path for you, “go, she’s not answering any of your questions.”
He elbowed past more cameras and opened the car door for you. You fell inside and quickly huddled down in your seat. As he sat behind the wheel, he mumbled and pulled out into traffic. He gripped the wheel tightly and pushed himself back into the vinyl.
“That asshole,” he said, “he’s gonna want the paternity test. This isn’t gonna be pretty.”
“I can’t… he fucking told them. I mean, I’m not surprised but… god,” you grimaced.
“We’ll get the test done before he makes a formal request,” Sasha said, “it shows transparency and when we hand over those results, we’ll include those police reports too.”
“Police reports?” you blinked.
“Sorry, I… It’s a suggestion,” he said tersely, “but he’s going to make this a trial by media.”
“No, no, I want to,” you said firmly, “I want everyone to know the real Steve Rogers.”
🍭
‘I was just like many struggling in the city. I worked a low-paying job in data entry and lived in an apartment which was little more than a box. The dreams of the big city were passing me by as there was little opportunity to be found.
Then I met Steve Rogers. Like a dream or a Lifetime movie. I was in debt, I was desperate, and he offered me a safety net. I can own my part in the relationship; I was interested and I accepted his generosity. I was all too happy with the arrangement.
That was until I found out that it was all based on a lie. I didn’t know that he had access to my accounts even before I knew him, that he had used his connections to force me into that dire situation. And I could not know the real man behind the billionaire façade.
It was little things at first. Any woman loves to feel wanted but his possessiveness soon turned to control. He kept me isolated from my own family and did not permit me to do anything without his permission. His affection turned to obsession and when it was not reciprocated he forced it from me.
He took me on vacation and did not allow me to wear clothes. He chose what I wore, how I looked, and what I did. He coerced me into acts I was reluctant about, and when he was too rough, he did not listen to my pleas for him to stop.
When I tried to leave him, he followed me and dragged me back. He had me watched by PIs and surveilled all my communications. He used his financial power to control me and when that did not work, he used his physical power.
Steve Rogers abused me. He yelled in my face, he threatened my family, and he choked me.
Steve Rogers raped me. He expected me to bend to his will whenever he desired and when I refused, he held me down and did what he wanted.
Steve Rogers took my whole life and when I chose to leave, he set his eyes on the life inside of me. 
The only thing I want from him is freedom. I want to live safely with my child and I want that child to never experience the abuse of their father. I never want anyone to know that horror again which is why I have written this and released the police records. I am not asking for anything but peace for me and my unborn child.’
The statement was carefully edited by Sasha. You reread the font across the glossy pages of Vanity Fair, the article spliced with excerpts not only from the police reports, but your own emailed accounts of your relationship, and the whole thing began with an image of that broken bathroom door.
It was two months since you ran away from the altar but life was not a romcom. It was a disaster. Even with the article, you knew not all would believe you. You knew it would open you to doubt and vitriol. And you knew Steve would have a response.
You closed the magazine and groaned as you rubbed your hips. Freedom didn’t feel so… freeing. There was a long way to go; court dates, doctor’s appointment, and depositions. But it was a start.
You rested your hand on your stomach and pushed on the arm of the couch as you stood stiffly. When you were halfway up, you felt a hand on your elbow and Sasha helped you stand straight. You smiled guiltily. You’d grown a lot in the last few weeks and still had nearly four months to go.
“The reviews are good,” he said, “I know that is kinda grim but… people seem to believe you.”
“Seem to?” you echoed as you went to the kitchen and pulled out the container of sliced strawberries, “or they don’t?”
“Well,” he leaned on the counter as he watched you add too much cream to the berries and smiled, “Stark Industries has cut ties with Shield, Inc. and Tony has made a sizeable donation to several shelters across the city,” he cupped his chin coyly as he leaned on his elbow, “and will be covering legal costs for the support hearings seeing as I can’t legally represent you anymore.”
“Oh,” your mouth fell open before you could spray some cream onto your tongue, “when were you going to tell me this?”
“I’m telling you now,” he crossed his arms as he shifted them further over the island, “I thought I’d give the good news first.”
“And the bad?” you put down the can of cream as you neared the marble across from him.
“I have several requests for interviews and I think you should do at least one,” he said, “I know you hate reporters and all that but… with a little Rogers baby on board, it’s just another part of the process.”
“Oh, and what should I tell them,” you edged around the counter towards him, “that I moved? That I found someone better?” He turned to you, his lips curved as he leaned in and you turned your face up to peck his lips, “or maybe I should tell them I’m single? Keep the intrigue?”
“As long as you tell them I’m handsome, I don’t mind,” he purred as he placed his hand on your side.
“Oh, how could I leave that out?” you cooed and kissed him again, “patient, loving, kind… but what a geek?”
“A geek?” he smirked and framed your chin with his hands, “says the dungeon master.”
You giggled and ran your hands up his chest, “someone’s gotta raise this little bard well.”
“Oh, no, no, she’s not gonna be a bard. Maybe a cleric?”
“No way! That’s lame,” you chirped, “how about… a sorcerer? Ours is a bit lacking.”
“Excuse you,” he quipped, “what was your AC again? Maybe next session I’ll run out of healing spells.”
“See?” you taunted, “geek.”
You drew him to you until he was pressed to your belly and he swept you up in a kiss. You rocked with him as he turned you against the counter and slowly parted.
You squeezed his wrist as you went back around to your strawberries and cream. You took a spoon and scooped up a mouthful as you slid your phone towards you. Sasha stayed as he was, watching you scroll through the emails and piled up texts.
You stopped as one blared in all caps. There was no name, only ‘Private’. You opened the conversation and found a dozen bubbles; ‘THIS ISN’T OVER’, ‘HE CAN’T KEEP YOUR FROM ME’, ‘CUTE, YOU THINK PEOPLE BELIEVE YOUR SHIT.’ Another message blipped up, an image and you dropped your spoon as it opened.
You saw the picture of your sister and her son. You shook as you put your hand down on the counter and choked on the cream.
“What?” Sasha reached over and turned your phone to him, “Shit,” he sighed and blocked the number, “he’s just stacking the evidence against himself.”
“I--” you blinked as tears boiled behind your eyes.
“You don’t need to be afraid,” he screencapped the conversation, “this just makes the case even easier.”
“No, I will always be afraid of him,” you said as you touched your stomach, “it’s not just about me anymore.”
“And it’s not just you anymore,” he took your hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, “we’ve been through worse. If we can get through a cave full of orcs, we can defeat Steve Rogers.”
END (or is it?)
452 notes · View notes
troubatrain · 3 years
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good for you - t. jost
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a/n: one day it dawned at me that tyson jost really had just been hitting different lately, and so i just needed to write some filth about it. i'm thinking of making this a smut based mini series so let me know what you guys think :)
part two
warnings: it's smush time (smut)
I can’t believe you’re leaving me like this.
Mat Barzal was pouting, laying across your bedroom in your apartment whining about how you were heading off to Colorado and leaving him. It wasn’t by choice, you’d gotten into a grad program that was an amazing opportunity, separating you and your childhood best friend for the first time in ages. Mat was your friend by accident, a kid was picking on him and you got mad because only you’re allowed to do that and punched that kid square in the nose. Mat covered for you so you wouldn’t get suspended and you’d been inseparable ever since.
“This place is going to be too quiet without you,” Mat whines, dodging the book you’d thrown in his direction, “And not that I keep you to clean up after me but I do need you to teach me how to use the dishwasher.”
“How about you help me pack then?” You suggest, rolling your eyes at his inability to take care of himself. He’d always been like that, his own mother relieved when you moved in because it eased her worries about Mat burning his place down.
“You should give Tyson a call,” Mat hops up, grabbing a box and some stuff off your shelf, “Sure he’d be able to show you around.”
“Tyson Jost?” You furrow your brows, trying to clarify exactly who Mat was talking about. There wasn’t anything wrong with Tyson, that was the problem. Tyson was like sunshine in the summer and in another life, he’d be your dream man. He was kind and the way he talked about his mother made every one of your girlfriends swoon. Tyson had the kind of drive you respected and he just seemed so steady, “I thought we agreed I’d break him.”
“You agreed with yourself on that one not me,” Mat chuckles, shaking his head at your response. Mat couldn’t think of any one of his friends that he’d let date you besides Tyson. Tyson was an astronomically better person than Mat was, always the kind of kid his parents encouraged him to hang out with, “What if Tyson’s the best dick of your life and you don’t even give him a shot?”
“I’m not sleeping with Tyson, he’s too innocent,” It wasn’t an excuse, it was the truth. Everything about Tyson screamed that he’d get you off but it wouldn’t be all that exciting. Tyson was a relationship type, and you weren’t and aside from the obvious sexual incompatibility - he was Mat’s friend. Despite his efforts, you always swore that was a line you’d never cross. Besides, as kind and endearing as Tyson was, he was still a hockey player, he just got away with it better than most.
“Just promise me you’ll call him? Especially if something’s wrong,” Mat pleads, a soft expression on his face even if it was just for a second before you had a t-shirt tossed in your direction, “You can’t let him replace me though, I’m number one around here.”
“I cannot wait to live alone,” You tease, laughing when Mat’s middle finger is thrown in your direction. It was bittersweet, leaving the comfort of having Mat around to buy you ice cream when you were sad and to take care of his best friend duties and onto a new adventure.
“You won’t be alone Josty will be there,” Mat jokes, his laugh bouncing off the now barren walls of your bedroom, “I swear I’m done now.”
“You better be.”
“I give it two weeks before you fuck Josty though.”
***
Just swing by her place, please.
Mat was like a mother who just sent their first kid away for college, and he was panicking. So, yes, he was begging Tyson to just drop in on to make sure your move was going as smoothly as you made it sound on the phone. Tyson could have been doing anything else on a Friday night with no game, but he was getting closer and closer to giving in by the second.
Tyson could admit, he wanted to see you, and he was excited when Mat shared the news you were moving to Denver. He looked forward to seeing you in the summer, carefree and light and so far out of his league he’d never even try. You made Tyson fumble his words, and every time he saw you he would think with his dick and he couldn’t focus on anything else. Above all else, Tyson wanted you to know he was a phone call away, a promise he made to Mat that he’d be there if you needed anything that he was going to keep for his own selfish reasons.
So Tyson was off to your apartment, a bottle of wine in one hand and a case of Coors Light in the other. He lifted his hand to knock, taking a deep breath and just thinking to himself, don’t fuck this up.
You knew that familiar tuft of curls in your peephole anywhere, summers spent watching the way Tyson’s curls bounced against his forehead whenever he spoke. This had Mat written all over it, no doubt your best friend put Tyson up to his welcoming committee bit. You turn around, boxes piled everywhere with nothing set up in your place aside from your mattress in the middle of the floor and your tv in your living room. Unpacking had been a bit overwhelming, and you may have lied on the phone to Mat that you were doing just fine. You take one deep breath, holding your head up high and pretending like your place wasn’t a mess.
“Hi,” You smile, leaning against your doorframe and taking in the man in front of you. Did he get bigger? Maybe it’s the hair, it’s longer. No, the scruff. Whatever it was, your feet were glued to the floor because you were stunned by the fact that Tyson Jost had gotten hot.
“Welcome,” Tyson cheeses, holding up the beer and wine in his hands and shrugging his shoulders, “I hope it’s fine I stopped by, Mat called and-”
“Told you to come?” You finished his sentence, Tyson nodding at your question, “Well, I have no furniture because it won’t be here until tomorrow, but you’re more than welcome to come join in my sad empty apartment.”
“I’d love to,” Tyson chuckles, bumping his shoulder with yours when he walked into your place. It was definitely empty, Tyson wishing he’d known sooner you’d be without most of your stuff for another day so he could offer up his guest room. It didn’t matter to him, his mind focused more on the fact that you looked incredible, a too big Islanders shirt and a pair of shorts that were leaving little to the eye. You were digging through a box, a small aha leaving your mouth when you pulled out a mug, “Wine in a mug?”
“That’s how Mat used to pour me glasses when we first moved in together,” You admit, gripping the mug in your hand tightly. You may have stolen it from your former kitchen, but it was a memory you wanted to remember, “You can sit, I mean the only place is on my mattress but-”
“Sounds like a tradition then,” Tyson hums, sitting down and leaning against your pillows, taking a sip of his beer. You sat cross legged next to him, pouring yourself some of the wine he’d brought over in that silly I <3 New York mug Mat bought for your first place. You settled on a movie, thankful you at least had wi-fi and didn’t have to make awkward conversation with Tyson.
It’s only awkward because you’re making it awkward, you thought to yourself. Maybe Tyson was doing it on purpose, peacocking around your apartment because Mat told him he had this weird thing about you sleeping with him. He wouldn’t do that, remembering every other time Tyson’s ignored one of Mat’s grand schemes because they were bad ideas, “Excited for the season to start? A few more weeks right?”
“I’m excited for camp to be over,” Tyson groans, snuggling himself into
your mattress, “My entire body’s on fire.”
Yeah mine too. You watched the way Tyson rolled his shoulders, clear pain across his face, “Ty’s let me-”
You were usually bold, confident enough to make the first move without the fear of rejection. It could be from years of watching Mat, a true master at his craft of picking up women, and constantly encouraging you to do the same. That’s how a player plays the game Y/N. Tyson’s brows were raised at you, a blush on his neck while he let himself sit a bit. You slipped your fingers under the soft cotton of his t-shirt, digging them into the knots in his shoulder. Tyson let his eyes rest, embracing the relief you were giving him.
Of course your fingers felt like magic. Tyson was doing everything in his power to keep his cool, and not blow this one chance he’s had with you without Mat’s stupid antics in the middle of it. Just ask her out, she’ll probably reject you, but at least you’ll get laid. Mat was right, he had to be because he knew you better than anyone. It wasn’t just some claim he made either, you didn’t do relationships, never giving your heart to someone else, “How are you good at this?”
“Tito used to tell me I had a career in deep tissue massages in my future,” You joke, Tyson’s head falling back to look at you while he let out a laugh, “Sometimes I think he just wanted to save a trip to the rink…do you mind if I-?”
You were tugging at Tyson’s shirt, waiting for him to nod in response and grab it from the back and toss it off. You never took the time to look at Tyson like this, eyes scanning over his skin and taking him in. Scars on his skin, no doubt from his choice in sport and one from that time Mat took roughhousing too far over the summer. Your finger curled around a loose curl at the base of his neck, Tyson letting out a hum, “I like the curls grown out Tys.”
“Keep pulling on them,” Tyson grunts, the words falling through his lips before he could stop them. You let out a small giggle, Tyson thanking his lucky stars you didn’t just hit him. He turned around, a glimmer in his eyes that you’d seen dozens of times before. Your hand stayed in his hair, gripping his hair softly when Tyson’s lips finally landed on yours. It was slow at first, testing out the waters and Tyson waiting for the blow of rejection. His hand was on your waist, hand slipping under your shirt and rubbing your skin softly. His lips moved down your neck, scruff tickling your skin, “Been wanting this for a while…”
“Yeah?” You muse, tilting your head back while Tyson’s teeth sunk into them. His grip got tighter, your breath hitching in your throat.
“If you don’t count the years I spent wondering what the fuck you and Mat were, then every summer for the past four years,” Tyson’s eyes had gotten a shade darker, flipping you over so you were underneath him, “Don’t act like you don’t know you’re hot, or that I’ve been mentally undressing you for years.”
“Now’s your chance Tys, don’t blow it,” You chirp, waiting for Tyson’s laugh to follow, except it didn’t. Tyson’s hands pulled yours over your head, grip tight on your wrists. What if Tyson’s the best dick of your life and you don’t even give him a shot. Mat’s words were spinning your head, taunting you because there was a chance he was actually right.
“Don’t move them,” Tyson grits, his lips trailing down your neck, his hands pulled your shirt off slowly, stifling a groan when his suspicions about your lack of bra were true, “Be a good girl-”
“Or what?” You smirk, wondering how many buttons you could press before Tyson just railed you. This was new, welcome, and maybe you shouldn’t have assumed Tyson was the boring type behind closed doors.
“Or I’ll fuck you until you’re begging to cum, but I still won’t let you,” Tyson mutters, his lips pressed against your skin while his fingers hooked under your shorts, “So are you going to be good for me?”
Tyson waited for your answer, gaining himself a plus one in your book on consent and when you nodded, your shorts and panties came clean off. Tyson hooked your thighs over his shoulders and pressed a kiss to your clit lightly, “Don’t tease Tys.”
“Am I the first person who gets you like this?” Tyson groans, watching the way your hips were squirming every light kiss he pressed around your pussy. You were an alpha female, Mat’s words, never Tyson’s, and that meant that under most circumstances you were in charge.
“Yes,” You whimper, desperate for some sort of relief. Tyson had you wound up, in a position you were used to being in and you were eating up every bit of it. He finally gave in, Tyson’s well skilled tongue swirling around your clit, pulling a moan out of you that echoed through your empty apartment. You clasped your hands together, taking every bit of strength you had not to tug on Tyson’s curls, “Fuck, Tyson let me touch you.”
“Not what we agreed to, princess,” Tyson reminds you, his tongue teasing your entrance while his nose rubbed against your clit. His tongue slid up your folds, Tyson climbing back up your body and letting his spit slide down his tongue and into your mouth, “Taste yourself babe.”
You nod, obliging happily with Tyson, your eyes practically rolling to the back of your head at how fucking hot this was. His lips landed on yours, reminding you just how good you were being against your mouth. Tyson’s hand grabbed one of yours, intertwining your fingers with his, “Tyson, please I wanna cum so badly.”
“Where?” Tyson hums, sucking at your skin, undoubtedly leaving you a little gift to cover up for your first day of class.
“On your cock,” You bat your eyelashes, playing into Tyson’s game because you needed some release, “All over it, please-”
Tyson kicked off his boxers, taking his own cock in his hand and pumping it a few times. He tapped your clit the head, smirking when you moaned underneath him. This was better than he imagined, all of those unwanted dirty dreams about you that seemed to be more frequent over the summer. You let your free hand move, Tyson’s head thrown back when you lined his dick up your core, guiding him inside of you, “God, you feel so fucking good.”
Tyson dropped your hand, both of his large hands gripped your hips tightly while he slammed into you. Your legs with shaking from pleasure, “Fuck, right there, please I’m so close-”
Tyson wrapped one of your legs around his waist, hitting you deeper. His arms were on both sides of your head, his lips pressed up against your ears when he spoke, “Cum for me princess.”
Tyson’s deep groans sent you over the edge, your pussy fluttering around his cock while he fucked you through your orgasm. His lips parted, hips sputtering when he pulled out and came all over your stomach with a loud fuck. You both fell silent, the realization that you broke your own rule about Mat’s stupid friends washing over you. It wasn’t regret, it was something you couldn’t quite explain. Tyson finally fell next to you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head, letting his light kisses trail down your shoulder, “Let me get the shower ready for you.”
You nod, letting your eyes follow Tyson’s ass as he wandered through your place in search of your bathroom. An aftercare king too? Maybe you were biting off more than even you could chew with this one. You grab your phone, rolling your eyes at Mat’s unanswered texts complaining that you’d already replaced him with Tyson. Your fingers dance across the screen, typing up the text you’d been meaning to send since Tyson was at your front door.
You could’ve warned me Tyson got hot, you know?
You didn’t even last two weeks did you?
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peeterparkr · 3 years
Text
red; tom's version|one.
chapter one: sad, beautiful tragic. “Long handwritten note deep in your pocket”
pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (tom's not famous here) story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship months after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?
chapter summary: you haven't seen him since he ditched you, after months of wearing plaid you go out and realize he's back in new york warnings: angsty, I mean it's a breakup, swearing. word count: 7.3k playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music
fic masterlist next chapter
a/n: Hi, I couldn't wait to share it so I said, screw it, I'm posting this. You don't know how excited I am to write this and share it with you. As you know, this is inspired by Red by Taylor Swift and will hurt. So I expect us all to be crumpled up pieces of paper wearing scarves by the end of this. (perennial is still coming, I'm just waiting on a few people who're reading it). SPECIAL THANKS TO @erodasghosts for reading it and hyping me up and helping me figure this all out. I hope you guys all like it as much as I did. The story is set in New York. Please give feedback!
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One month after the breakup.
Strong whiskey, on the rocks. That was his drink of choice that night. The night before had been a beer. You knew you could imagine the taste of his lips by only looking at him. You wondered if he’d gone there for a second night for the same reason you had.
When you had seen him across the place the night before, you had tried to decide how to feel. We always think we will react one way or another when we see our official heartbreak walking through. Victorious as he is perfectly dressed, with his hair flowing.
He hadn’t brought her. Which you didn’t know how to feel about.
The day before you had not been alone, Jules, Matty, and Lula were there.
“Shit, the axolotl at 10 o'clock, you’ve got to be shitting me,” Lourdes, Lula, had whispered before sipping her drink, a Long Island Tea. “We are celebrating she’s doing better, can’t fucking believe this,” she hissed at Jules who only lifted her chin slightly to see who she was referring to. “What the fuck is he doing here? Ay, es que, con qué huevos se atreve a venir aquí? Que no mame.” [with what balls did he dare to come here? He shouldn’t fuck with us. ]
You loved hanging out with Lula and listening to her very refined Spanish cursing.
“It’s not him,” Julia said.
You tried looking back to see who they were referring to. “Who is—?”
“Y/N, wait I just noticed the haircut!” Matt pointed out, reaching over, getting your attention back to them and not at whatever they were referring to. “It looks great. It’s like a new you!”
This new you. The one that had been screwed over twice. Men really have the nerve when it comes to breaking hearts. They recklessly go in and let you believe love comes in all shades of colors, passionate red like the roses they send, and tender pinks like your sweet innocence that they end up stealing. But they never tell you it’ll be you all alone in a dark room with shades of grey under a flickering light that barely warms you.
The new you, which was still a bit lost. Your old self was a stranger to you now. You had no idea who this new you was, she was quiet now. Didn’t have a heart because someone had stolen it and broken it and left it behind a dumpster. Still trying to find it. The new you wasn't.. you.
Your friends were glad, however, they finally got you to go out again. After weeks of wearing plaid and watching Fleabag, and even considering watching Greys Anatomy, a low point, you had finally decided to come back to see if there was any sunshine left for you.
It’s important to point out that you had been broken-hearted and almost crazy when the breakup had happened. Very… delusional. You were not proud of the way you’d reacted. Although you wouldn’t have reacted any other way.
The city had been quiet, the red lights seemed to last longer, and the crowds would often swallow you. The city you once loved was now an open book of a relationship that seemed real, should’ve known it was all fiction.
In your dreams they’d be bright, colorful. The village is aglow. Cold days with warm hearts. Like his.
You’d been cold ever since.
“Ah, yeah, the haircut. Got it today. Lula’s idea” The haircut had come as the solution to a problem that would never be solved. As if cutting your hair meant there was something you had the power on. You didn’t.
How stupid was it? You couldn’t control your life.
“It suits her well, doesn’t it?” Lula admitted proudly.
You still had his picture engraved in your heart. You still dreamed he would come back and say it was all a nightmare.
“It’s nice, I’m glad to have you back,” Jules commented. Julia had probably been the most surprised with the news of the breakup, she had almost gone and killed Tom when he had….unimportant. She hadn’t, though, and she had yet to tell you the reason why. Julia had been mysterious since.
“I’m glad to be back,” you confirmed. You’d ordered a beer, and maybe you shouldn’t have. Stella Artois, his one favorite. You pocketed the beer cap. “Though I was not gone.”
Matt watched you, him and Julia had recently started dating. Best friends since kids who just recently confessed their feelings for each other, took them long enough. “How back are you, though?”
“Meaning?” You asked, taking a sip.
Matt shrugged, “I could introduce you to some friends from work, there’s this hot guy—“
“No,” you interrupted him, leaving the bottle down as you had almost choked. “No, no. Not in the dating area yet. Won’t be in a long time. Still healing.”
Lula still had her eyes glued elsewhere. “Healing from a bullet hole, y/n, whatever you’re doing isn’t working, and band aids won’t fix it—Jules it is, I swear to god it’s him.”
“It’s not him,” Julia rolled her eyes.
“Ay, que sí!” [he is]
“Who?” You asked.
Julia took your hands, “you know Lula,” she rolled her eyes. “I love that you ordered a beer.”
“Yeah,” you gulped. “Beer is universal language for men as in: ‘don’t get close to me.’” A lesson someone dear had taught you once.
Matt tilted his head in agreement, “Yeah.”
“Really?” Lula frowned, “should’ve ordered one. Next time I’ll ask for my drink but instead of a glass I’ll ask them to put it in a beer bottle.”
“Wouldn't it be easier to order a beer?” Matt suggested.
“But then I’d break our tradition.”
Matt watched her, “you really are something.”
You chuckled.
“Why is beer seen as not—feminine?” Matt questioned.
Julia shrugged. “It’s beyond me, really. It’s a drink.”
“Like does my drink make me less of a man?” Matt watched his glass, another Long Island Tea. A stupid inside joke you all had.
“No,” you admitted. “But you know how society is. Since it’s sweet, it’s got to be—“
“Oh, no, no, I love you, y/n, but tonight I don’t want you lecturing us on it, no, tonight we are having fun, ok?” Lula reminded you. “We will not talk about femininity or lack of a beer—or whatever your agenda is up to these days, which, hey! Why does y/n get to break the rule?” Lula questioned. “No Long Island Tea?
Julia glared at her, “Because she can do whatever she wants tonight,” she hissed and then turned to you. “But how are you feeling? It’s your first time going out in months, is it as fun?” Julia was the one to try to cheer you up the most.
No, it wasn’t fun.
“I—feel good!” You lied. Although you were not. But you guessed that’s the response they wanted after seeing you laying down on the ground and crying yourself to sleep. Staring at windows and walking down in the rain. They wanted you to feel better.
Your body was covered in scars.Though, they were from adventures.
“Bullshit,” Lula intruded. “You seem sad. Maybe I’ll get some shots,” she announced before going to get some.
“Well,” you chuckled. “My first time going out and you bring me back to the place where it all started?” You answered cynically but then shrugged. “I’m—I…no. I just—It’s weird. I still see him everywhere, and as I’m here it’s like watching a movie of our greatest moments,” you admitted. “Like hey, look over there, it’s Tom and Y/N’s greatest moments,” you stated, Lula got back. “Let’s start memory lane…”and you sighed and continued with the best presenter voice you had. “Here you’ll wonder how the hell did it go so wrong since they were so perfect, what the hell went wrong, when did it turn into some sad stupid love affair. You’ll be asking yourself hey, they seemed in love, over there, they danced! Over there… they sang a song together! See over there? There was a fucking jukebox in which they have memories! Oh they have memories there too! And you’ll ask yourself, he made it seem real, what the hell happened?” You sighed exhaustedly. “What happened? What the fuck happened? How was I so stupid?” You ran your hands through your face.
Your friends only watched you, with pity, sadness. Even Lula had turned her gaze guilty.
You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“No,” Lula sighed, “it’s our fault for bringing you here. We’re fucking idiots. Besides he is—Julia I swear to god, he is there.” Lula raised her hand and Julia quickly pulled it down.
Julia bit her lip, “I—hadn’t realized how much Tom there is here.”
“Yeah.”
“He called me—“Matt had started.
“No, no, we can’t talk about him, baby,” Julia reminded him. Matt widened his eyes and nodded.
You blinked, “no, it’s—He called you? Tom?” Why had Tom called Matty? What for?
“Yeah, had a missed call,” Matt explained, ignoring his girlfriend. “I—it was this morning.”
You felt your chest twist. “Yeah, I get a lot of those too.”
Perhaps he wanted to talk to you and thought Matty was dumb enough to give you the phone.
Julia glared at Matt. “We promised not to—“
“No, hey,” you stopped her. “I—sorry, I brought him up.”
“But we shouldn’t talk about him,” Julia insisted. “Tonight is all about having fun,” she stated as she handed everyone their shots.
“No, it’s alright,” you said. “I’m fine talking about it.”
Lula turned her gaze to you. “Shouldn’t you hate him?”
Were you supposed to hate someone who gave you something so beautiful? Just because it’s over doesn’t mean you have to look back and hate it.
“No,” you answered simply.
Matt watched you. “Wait, really?”
You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m—I decided I’m thankful for everything. He really… I… I mean I knew from the start he was trouble. But he got me to get rid of Will. So I’m thankful for Tom. He showed me some beautiful things about him, about myself and… I’m thankful. Even the part when he broke my heart.”
It was a lie. Partly. You had been so full of doubts that you only tried wondering why it had gone so wrong. Or course, the lie was there. His lies. But how could any of it be a lie?
Julia smiled gently, “You’re really a grown up.”
“Or very stupid.” Lula commented.
“Thanks, Lula, I appreciate it,” you rolled your eyes. “I… well, I’ve gotta admit I was pretty stupid.”
Lula shrugged, “Hey, I don’t blame you, boy came in with an accent, he had a cute smile, he was hot, I must admit, and he wasn’t one of those Brooklyn fuckboys that take you to the rooftop and offer you a whiteclaw to watch the sunrise together,” Lula gave in.
“Oh, and they take candid pictures, and they say that their phone camera isn’t as good as their polaroid,” Julia laughed, “But hey, you’re lucky they took you to the rooftop, they never take anyone there, they took you there just because you’re…”
“Different,” Julia, Lula and you chanted.
Matt laughed, “You guys are the worst.”
“Anyway,” Lula said. “We should drink these,” she pointed at the shot glasses as she raised her own. “I came here to get drunk. So, to Y/N being thankful Tom was a piece of shit even when the boy had a dreamy accent?”
You closed your eyes, and let out a defeated dry chuckle. “Yes, to that.”
“To the piece of shit, then!” Lula grinned as the shots clinked and were downed. You instantly regretted drinking it.
Lula scowled as she had her eyes glued back at the bar, “It’s him, Julia, it’s him! What is he doing here? Pendejo, I swear to god I’ll go kill him.” She was furious, and you tried once again following her gaze.
The bar was crowded, red lights crossed around the place, with girls walking with tall heels, trying to smile and nod at guys who were talking to them but clearly were not of interest to them. Friends laughing, people flirting. You didn’t know who your friends were watching.
But the bar seemed to be enough of a reminder of him. How he had made you feel like crowds were never there, and how whenever you had been with him everything disappeared just to be with him.
“Who are we killing?” You questioned.
“Is new y/n a murderer?” Asked Matt. Matt and Julia were your oldest friends. The three of you grew up in Staten Island, and now moved to the crowded places.
Lula coughed. “Hope she is.” Lula, on the other hand, you’ve met in college, she was a very defined addition to the friend group. With more personality. A strong one. Lula, Julia and you shared a small apartment.
Julia cleared her throat.
“The fucking scarf,” Lula scowled.
“What scarf?” Matt asked. And you had the same question.
Julia whispered to her boyfriend’s ear who had turned cold. He lifted his head.
“But it’s not.”
“It is him,” Matt confirmed to Lula. “Jules, it is.”
And now your three friends were acting strange. Usually they did but this was strang-er. They all shared looks, Julia struggled with her hands.
They were watching you with pity but you’d gotten used to that. After the breakup they had been extra careful around you, kinder, you guessed.
Fools they were to believe that by not mentioning him you wouldn’t think of him. He was a memory that would haunt you for the rest of the days.
“So, y/n,” Julia was clearly hiding whatever Lula was seeing.
“Wasn’t he in London? What in this fucking world is he doing here?” Lula continued.
“Shut up!” Julia ordered.
“London?” You asked and you lifted your head, and any noise that was bustling before had stopped.
Tom.
Tom was there.
Thomas.
Tom who had broken your heart. In every possible way that he could’ve. Like he had planned it. Like he was aware.
He was there, on a stool with a beer in his hand and wearing a red scarf. The red scarf. As if he was mocking you.
Tom.
Did he pride on hurting you?
He had always said you were invincible. That you were unrivaled in matters of the heart. Was he proud he had beaten the unbeaten?
You’d always thought he would.
When we love deeply, getting hurt comes as a given. But when we love deeply, we are never expecting it to come. And when it does come the skies cannot turn grayer. Funny thing, you were a fan of the rain but when the rain doesn’t cease, the hope doesn’t perdure.
But he was back in your life. Or at least he had been in the same room as you after months.
What was he doing back in New York with your scarf?
You turned back to your own table, breathing in quickly, bringing your hand to your chest in an attempt to calm yourself down.
You saw your friends speaking but you couldn’t make a word of what they’re saying. Your heart was rushing. Thomas was there. Tom. Your Tom. And there was a part of you that had completely forgotten over the heartbreak and wanted to run to him.
Kiss him, try to fix it. Try to bring back the beautiful thing you both had. Because it was. And it hurt looking back.
You were having trouble breathing now, the heartbreak had come.
That’s the worst thing about heartbreak. You never saw it coming, though you should’ve. Though it was beautiful you’d known from the start you’d end up hurt. But when a lie is crafted so beautifully, how could you?
“It’s him.” The words had come in whispers.
You barely remembered what had happened next. You had only stood up, decisive to leave, you’d seen him try to walk his way to you. You’d heard him call your name, but you hadn’t turned back, you had seen Matty stop him from running to you.
It was blurry. You didn’t know how you got home. Desperately trying to understand why he was there and how the night had turned too badly.
Lula and Matt had come back later to find Julia trying to comfort you, hugging a pillow that you were sure he had slept on. Breathless.
But it was in the past now, you were there again. Same bar, both in stools far away.
You were almost sure he’d gone to that bar in hopes of finding you again.
Just like you’d gone again.
His eyes the night before were guilty. You only took a deep breath, you remembered trying to avoid his glance at any chance as you had walked out.
Why were you there again?
That feeling in your chest growing, like there was something heavy expanding. Yet your stomach falling smaller. The pain was but a shield, as if it was creating a special protection around your heart, and though it hurt it was enough for it to make your heart strong to leave the place.
You didn’t want to see Tom. You hadn’t talked to him since. Even when he’d tried to call. Even when you’d tried calling.
Not when you had replayed the breakup over and over and over again since he was gone.
Everyone deals with breakups in different ways. Yours, specifically, was avoiding it. Everything and everyone. Especially Tom.
It was hard when he was everywhere. In that tattoo he’d convinced you to get, in that ring he’d left, in that cereal box that you still hadn’t finished. Whenever you listened to a song he’d recommended. Whenever you’d open Netflix and that series you had started watching together was still recommended to you even when you’d deleted it.
Everywhere.
You couldn’t use your favorite colors because you could hear it, in the back of your head “I love how it looks on you.” “You should wear more blue, it suits you.”
Even your stupid laugh remind you of him. “Your laugh is the most wonderful thing I’ve heard, even if it’s so ugly.”
You missed the person you were when he was with you. How everything was happy. Who was that y/n? Who didn’t mind if she was slightly late to a place because he’d come with you? Who didn’t feel alone at parties when she knew nobody because you knew him?
A y/n that existed only for a short period of time when he’d been around and that he’d shattered like glass when he had the chance.
You missed that y/n.
The y/n that would sometimes lose her breath and catch it back when he walked into the room. A y/n that sang along to her favorite songs all day. The one that would give her heart in a rush to him. The one that watched movies no matter if they were good or not.
Life had colors back then.
Now you were full of regrets and of doubts. Wondering what you had done wrong? Where did it lead you?
You looked up at him then. He was staring down at his glass.
There was a slight trace of him still there, the Tom you once loved. The one with the silly smile and the gentle chuckle, the one with the jokes about everything.
You wondered how much of that y/n he saw too.
You were the same two people, in essence. But how different you were now.
The Tom you knew before finding out it was a lie.
There was still a hint. You knew. But there was so much of him in you that it was hard to see if you still were there. Or the Tom you thought you knew. Not the one with the lie. Or maybe this was the truest Tom he could ever be.
He had to move on, rather quickly, you recalled. If he ever did.
There was a stupid reminder of you in his hand, that red scarf from the very first day.
You still remembered how it all started, a stupid red scarf. He kept it, then, and he wore it.
You had ordered a beer, too. You pocketed the cap again.
But there was an image in your mind, maybe he had gone back and probably had his arm around her and he laughed at a joke she made. Maybe she was funnier than you. Definitely prettier, with her hair falling down all the way to her waist, her clothing accentuating everything you didn’t have.
You recalled having to leave the room when you found out. You had been a mess.
Leaning against a wall as you caught your breath before the tears came down, as if he had pierced right through it. A pain chest that had expanded all the way on your body, not sure how you were able to keep walking back to your place. Falling down to your knees when you did.
Pain. Words failed to describe such a deep sentiment.
But it was gone now. Not entirely but at least you could hold your breath fine when he was just across the room.
What went wrong?
You could ask him. He was right there.
Maybe even tell him how you had lost sight. He hadn’t walked up to you. He was nervous, but he seemed calm enough to see you were there. You were still unsure why you had gone there.
Maybe all the good things were enough to bring you there, maybe the fact that you still didn’t believe it was a lie brought you there. Maybe the fact that one of those pictures from that photobooth was still in a locket. So stupid.
He fiddled with the glass.
You waited and waited but he didn’t approach you. He took out a paper out of his pocket as he stared at it.
You wouldn’t approach him. No matter how happy he had made you once, you wouldn’t walk to him. No matter how beautiful it was. No matter if you were lonely and that when you dared to sleep he’d be haunting your dreams.
It was a tragedy now. What you both were, and not even worth enough to try and save it. You knew you were haunting him too. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here.
He was shakin, as he stared at you, nervous. He downed his drink, you guessed it was for some liquid courage and stood up, with the note in one hand and your red scarf in the other.
Your own courage for coming here was gone, as you saw his intentions, the urge to run you had the night before was becoming you. But he couldn’t walk. He had to sit down again, rubbing his face.
The courage that had come when choosing what Lula called the ‘revenge black dress’ was nowhere in sight. You were cold and regretting putting it on.
“I can’t do this,” you said to yourself and quickly let out some dollars to pay for your drink before picking up your stuff to leave.
You saw he panicked when he saw you leaving, he quickly called the bartender to pay for his drink.
You closed your coat as you were shaking yourself, punishing yourself for going there. Why had you gone there? The man had broken your heart? Were you really there to see him?
Was your heart foolish enough to ignore the warnings in your mind once again?
You walked your way to get to the subway station, how irrelevant you were through the crowds. You hadn’t felt this way for a while, caring for the crowds. But you had to get through them. There was a part of you that wished Tom was following you after. But the crowds didn’t let you see if he was.
Besides, you shouldn’t want that.
You finally managed to get to the station, you clung to your purse as you stared at the tracks, waiting for the next train to come. Peaceful it seemed, the station. As peaceful as New York could be. You guessed if you cried nobody would care.
“y/n!” You heard your name in the distance and you couldn’t handle it.
You took a deep breath and shook your head, angrily. Why had you gone? You could’ve easily kept ignoring his calls. You could’ve stayed in your apartment, crying as you watched SNL videos on youtube, or rewatching a cartoon for the hundredth time, letting your own sadness and self pity swallow you.
But you had gone to him. This was your fault. You should’ve taken a cab, instead, he would know you’d get at this station and he for sure would know what train you’d take.
“y/n, y/n!” He kept calling as he finally arrived next to you. “Sorry I would’ve gotten here faster but the damn MetroCard-”
“I’m not doing this, Tom,” you stated before he could go on rambling like the idiot he was. You couldn’t do it. “Not here, not anywhere. I don’t know what you’re doing here.”
“I…” His face was kind, and he seemed to be nervous. You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping, probably the jet lag.
You took a moment to look at him, he didn’t look as victorious as you had thought he was. His hair was messy, and his cheeks flushed, the buttons on his shirt were not buttoned right.
Seeing him again, with that signature look he had made you want to go down to your knees.
“Aren’t you supposed to be back in London?” You snapped. “With that pretty girl-”
“No, no, I’m-I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Tom stuttered. “I was an idiot.”
You stared into his eyes, you were not ready for this. You were not ready to look into his stupid eyes. You looked away. “That’s all you have to say?” You tried walking away from him..
He shook his head. “No, no, no, no, I… No, I actually… I had this… I wrote down my apology,” Tom confessed. He showed you a sad, handwritten paper, now slightly teared up with the ink running. “I… I had….”
You looked down at it, his messy handwriting, crinkled with words scratched down. “You wrote it down?”
You didn’t know why you felt your heart warm. This kind of stuff was why you couldn’t understand what had happened. Someone like him, who writes his apologies down. Someone who stutters when he’s speaking.
“Yeah, I… but I spilled my drink on it after seeing you fled,” He explained, swallowing hard. “I… I… I had written it down so I wouldn’t forget it but now I realize how stupid that is… I’m… I’m really sorry, y/n.” .
You could hear the train coming. You were seeing him again. It hit you right there. And this was not the reaction you thought. You had said you would be delusional, crying and fighting and questioning him why the fuck he had done that.
Yet you weren’t. You were only watching him, eyes full of tears wanting to slide down but unable to. But there was that pain still in your chest.
How could he ever dare to hurt you that way? “I don’t want to talk to you,” you said. And meant it. “Please leave me alone.” You said before walking into the train.
“Y/N, please, no, please, please, listen to me,” He followed you in, the scarf still in his hand.
You tried sitting as far away as you could. Arms and legs crossed as you tried breathing in.
He sat beside you and you changed seats. He sighed but followed you again. “Please, I need to talk to you. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Well you did,” you snapped. “You did, and now you come here a month later with a handwritten note apology thinking I will be fine with it?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I had to solve-Please, would you listen?” Tom asked, knowing damn well he had to ask, and not just straight up blurt it out.
“Why would I, Tom?” You turned to him, with a tear traveling down your cheek. You were incredulous. “You’re kidding me, right? I… You… You think that just because you show up with that stupid face of yours and my scarf I’ll want to listen to you? You’re an idiot.”
He sighed and reached to give you the scarf. You ignored it.You were furious now.
The other people on the train were certainly getting a show. A guy with a backpack was trying to pretend he wasn’t listening but his reactions were giving it away. Another woman pretended to keep reading her book but she hadn’t turned any pages.
Tom took the scarf back staring at it. “I need to explain everything to you.”
“What if I don’t want an explanation?” You snapped. Though you did. You had been waiting for one, you wanted one. You would beg for it. But your pride was taking the wheel of the conversation. “Don’t you think it’s fucking late for it?”
“Is it?” Tom turned back to you.
“Yes!” You couldn’t believe him. But this seemed a bit too familiar of a conversation. “And beside no explanation would make me forgive you!” You stated, whispering, not wanting any of the attention you were receiving.
“I’m not… I… If you just listen to me,” Tom said.
You glared, “I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Then why did you come to the bar?” He asked.
He fucking asked.
Your eyes widened. He had gone there. He knew. He fucking knew you’d gone back because you wanted an explanation. Or so he thought. No, you’d gone back because… Yes, because you wanted an explanation. Because everything he’d done had been beautiful. Until the heartbreak. He had crafted and vexed his way into your cold stupid heart and then he had gone and pierced right through it, crushed it.
You wanted to ask why. Why did he do it so vehemently?
You didn’t answer, instead you moved one seat away. He kept his eyes on you.
“You wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t want an explanation,” he said. “Or to see me, at least. I know I did, I needed to see you.”
You saw the guy with the backpack purse his lips, knowing that Tom had got you. There was little context for them. The girl with the book directed a glance to you, trying to read your emotions.
If they knew, they’d be on your side and yelling at him as well.
He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face.
“I didn’t, it was a coincidence,” you answered coldly.
“No, it bloody wasn’t,” Tom scoffed and then sat up. “No, I’m… No, but you know, you went to the bar for a reason.”
“And I left for a million more,” you frowned.
Tom pursed his lips and took out the paper again, trying to make out whatever he’d written before. “I’m really sorry.” His eyes traced through the note.
“Are you genuinely trying to read it? Don’t you know what you’re supposed to apologize for?”
Tom looked up, “So you do want me to apologize?”
The guy with the backpack squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Tom had fucked up.
“You’re kidding, right? Yes, you have to apologize, what you did is really, really shitty!” You pointed out.
“But you won’t forgive me, then?” Tom watched you.
“I don’t know,” you said and he looked up, a beaming gaze. “No, I won’t.”
He wrinkled his eyes, “I… I know I’m supposed to apologize, not to expect you to forgive. I'm just…”
He gulped, and then sat back, staring at the dirty walls and lights. He had dressed up. Badly, but he had tried looking good, you could tell. You could smell his lotion, too.
He was fiddling with the paper, crumpling up and then it fell to the floor. You looked at it and somehow related to it, not sure how.
You took a deep breath so you wouldn’t kill him and turned to him. “I have questions for you, if you answer them I might consider listening to you.”
Tom’s eyes brightened up. “Yes, yes, anything.”
You eyed him up and down as he watched you with begging eyes. You avoided his gaze. Tom followed your gaze as you tried to figure out what was the first thing you could ask him. Why had he hurt you?
Why did he not stop and think before making you fall in love with him?
Why did he not stop and tell you the truth?
“Where are you staying?” You asked,
Tom blinked. “Is that… is that the question?”
“No, but I know you don’t know how to fucking get anywhere,” you said.
Tom gulped, “I… uh, again with Harrison,” he explained.
You sighed. You remembered Harrison alright. And though there was a petty part inside you, you would help him out. Knowing he’d always get lost in the city. Though you could let him get lost, so you’d have to go after him and spend a bit more time. With an excuse, because you didn’t seem to have any excuse to be with him.
It hurt. What hurt the most was trying not to look back at the incredible moments you had because none of them were true.
You sighed. “Okay, when we get down you’ll take the F train—“
Tom stopped you, taking your hand. “No, wait, I don’t care if I get lost, okay, I… I just.”
You snatched your hand away from his cold hands he had. You darkened your gaze at him.
“Please, Y/n, I just need a chance. If you don’t want to listen… maybe I’ll just…” He handed you the note.
You crossed your arms, and tapped your foot, trying to decide whether or not to give it to him. “Fine,” you took the note.
You've gotten to your stop. So you stood up.
The girl with the book and the guy with the backpack watched you both as you walked out, pitying they couldn’t follow the drama.
Tom followed after you, he licked his lips. “You… you had questions, right?”
“Yeah.” You nodded, taking yet another heavy breath. You turned on your feet to look at him “One, did you lie to me?”
Tom was taken back by this, his eyes, consternated, only watched you. He gulped. “What?”
“Did you lie to me?
“I… well.”
You were getting desperate. “Did you ?”
“I didn’t lie about how I felt,” he said. You knew he wasn’t lying about it. He couldn’t. He couldn’t have ever lied about how he felt because you knew he had felt it too, a bit, at least,
You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.”
“I mean it, I…” Tom gulped. “I really liked you.”
“Yeah, I know, you liked me yadda, yadda,” you started. Liked not loved. “Cut the bullshit for once, did you or did you not lie to me?”
Tom took a deep breath. “Yes. But I had feelings for you.”
You bit your inner cheeks. “Uh-huh, yes, okay, good, yes, you acknowledge it. So, we have two statements here, Tom. You say you had feelings yet you lied to me,�� you squinted. “Sounds-”
Tom gulped and avoided your gaze. “I know yes,” he looked down. “But, if you give me-”
“Ah, buh-buh, nope, I’m just gathering my thoughts here,” you coughed. “I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me what you felt.”
Tom shook his head in confusion. “I—I’m”
“Go on,” you motioned your hand.
“Y/N,” he said. And the way he dared to say your name was like having a knife right through you. “I had—I have feelings for you,” he said looking right into your eyes.
He didn’t say what feelings.
You were not sure where you wanted to go with this. “Fine, my next question…” you really didn’t know where this was going. “So, alright, you…” You couldn’t even phrase it. “You… made me fall in love with you knowing….Well, we both know what you did. What you hid from me. You’re a liar who made me—“
Tom took a deep breath. “Yes, but I didn’t… plan that.”
Your eyes widened. “Oh, so it’s my fault?” You stepped back. “Sorry for developing feelings for you. Sorry for ruining your life—“
Tom closed his eyes, “No, no, look, I… wasn’t. I didn’t come here expecting to meet you, I didn’t want… It just happened, okay, I never thought—You're making it sound like it’s some big master plan. I—I never planned—I never would’ve ever planned on hurting you.”
You watched him, incredulous. “Thomas you do realize what you did to me?”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t! You’re trying to make me seem like I’m crazy for not even wanting to talk to you!” You called him out.
“I’m not, I’m just saying that if you’re here—you must miss it too, you know it was too real, and you want it back, possibly—M-maybe not, but if you came to the bar tonight it was in hopes of finding me again because you knew I’d be there, and you want to feel how you felt before, and i just… you know I miss it and that you knew I didn’t lie—“
You glared at him. “You did lie!”
“Okay—yes, yes I did—But not entirely, I just happened to omit one truth—“
“One very important truth,” you snarked.
“Fine but—please listen,” he tried to convince you. “and I’m sorry, okay? I—I didn’t want to hurt you. But I never planned this. It just happened. I didn’t come here expecting to fall in love with anyone, I didn’t come here trying to date, and I never expected it to be someone as complex—“
“Complex?”
“Yes, I never came to New York trying to find the most mental relationship I’ve ever had—“
“Mental?” You snapped.
“Yes! I love you but you’re fucking crazy! And I am too! I’m fucking crazy and mental but I—I—I loved being crazy and mental with you! We are fucking mental! Driving to nowhere? Breaking into places? Getting a jukebox on the subway? That’s mental! But—but I love that about you, alright? Don’t you get it? I could’ve stayed in London, I could've been the asshole who just ditched you and lied to you—“
You scoffed. “Well that’s comforting!”
“But I’m—I’m here, ain’t I? And I know I fucked up, I know, I accept that, I’m the asshole here, and I know you’ll never—I hid it from you because I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t even get it myself. I’m here to give you my version of it. I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you…I am…,I am in love with you, and I never planned that, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with someone else, it just happened. I may have thought it was just—Some fling, initially.”
You laughed cynically. “A fling.”
He gulped. “And the moment I realized what was really going on—”
“You left, that’s what you fucking did, when you realized it was way too real for you, you destroyed the one real thing you’ve ever known,” you barked, he stepped back. “I fell in love with you, I—I—and then you ditched me, and I thought that was the worst thing you could ever do to me but then I realized that it wasn’t real! I—you were never mine, Tom! I simply was—a break you needed or—a fling.”
“It wasn’t that—“
You watched him. Looking so innocent, kind eyes and tender lips. You would’ve believed him had he come before.
“You used me!” You snapped, the words that had wanted to come for a while just blurted out. “I just can’t believe you,” you said. “You don’t feel sorry.” You shook your head, your voice was cracking. “You're not sorry because you don’t understand. You don’t know what I went through, and if you had come earlier, if you hadn’t left me, I probably would have believed you. But—No! No!” You stepped back. “No!”
“I did call! You never picked up the phone! I tried—“Tom started.
“Was I really expected to pick it up? Let’s get back to it. Shall we? The facts. Did you or did you not date me? And made me fall in love with you?”
Tom sighed. “I—yes.”
“Did you lie?”
“…yes.”
You nodded. “Was I the other one?”
Tom squinted his eyes. “No… yes, no.”
You took a deep breath. “Did you leave me without an explanation?”
Tom looked down. “I did.”
“Did you ditch me?”
Tom looked everywhere and nowhere. “Yes,” he answered, defeated.
“Now, do you think I can ever forgive you?”
Tom didn’t answer.
You reached for your purse, for the locket that dug deep inside. “I don’t know you,” you stated giving him the locket, the stupid locket you’d bought as a joke when making fun of other couples and now laughed in your face. “Whatever happened means nothing. Because that’s the thing Tom. Everything we lived was a lie, those two people in the locket are not us, because you weren’t who you said you were, no matter how much I loved it, it’s not true and though it was too many emotions all at once I’m—It’s not real, not for you. I spent this whole time thinking I wanted you to apologize but I don’t want it. That charming guy wasn’t truly you because you omitted one very important thing. You—What were you thinking? Were you planning to never say it? Or did you plan it like that? Just ditching me, hoping I wouldn’t find out—“
Tom took a deep breath. “No—No, I didn’t. I just—-I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you and I should’ve fixed it before—-“
“No, no you didn’t because it wasn’t enough for you.”
Tom gulped, “It was, it was—-the best thing I’ve ever had.”
“And you ruined it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“How little words mean when you’re a little too late, huh?” And that was the cue you needed to walk away. He silently watched you as you tried not to cry.
“I’m really sorry.” He said.
Was he?
“What if I try to prove it to you?” He asked as you were steps away from him.
You didn’t stop.
“If we go over this, you’ll see I never lied about it.” He continued.
“I already went over it, I remember everything, Tom, and maybe that’s why I don't want to talk to you.”
Tom walked behind, slowly. “I just happened to be very unlucky when it came to my own circumstances,” he reached over. “And I wish the timing had been better. But you’re right, it’s the one real thing I’ve ever had and I lost it because I hid something in fear of losing you. I lied because it was too good to be true. And I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me but I think you deserve to know why. But you went to the bar for a reason, and you had the locket for another.”
You stopped this time. Looking down at the floor and then at his hand, holding your stupid scarf. You shook your head, you really didn’t want to go through it all over again.
“I know you won’t forgive me,” he stated. “But I can’t let you go. You’re everywhere. And I miss the person I was when you were around, and I won’t stop fighting because you’re everywhere. Dreams, nightmares.”
Funny. You were his demons too.
“Am I haunting your nightmares?” You asked. Tom only watched you.
He took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just need—I really need you to listen to my version.”
“Fine then, let’s go down this sad, beautiful tragic love affair.”
-
next chapter
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comfortbucky · 3 years
Note
I asked for the doctor!bucky andd you don't have to write but I forgot to ask... He is like a really busy doctor and it surprises the female reader that he is going to do her stitches... Wanda is his assistant. He has to give you a pain numbing shot in your cut and he comforts you when you scream and writh in pain... Thanks xxx
𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗯 ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ 。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚ ⋆ ⋆。˚
pairing: doctor!bucky x fem!reader
warnings: descriptions of bloody injuries, medical settings, stitches, needles
A/N: omg i’ve never written for doctor!bucky before so i’m excited hehe :) thank u for ur request! // i changed around who was administering the numbing agent and doing the stitches btw i hope u don't mind, just made more sense in my head for bucky to be able to comfort her if his hands are free!
hope u enjoy! <3 sorry if this isn't that good asjdfhaldf
Y/L/N = your last name
also let me just indulge myself and sprinkle some of my own experiences in this bc a couple months ago i literally slammed my head into a wall and cut my eyelid😃nothing bad enough to get stitches but i do have a scar💗
word count: 2k
my masterlist!
completed requests!
“Y/N! Come quick!”
Y/N was digging through her dresser for a sweater when her roommate, Darcy, called out for her. She lifted her head up and spun it without thinking, completely forgetting that her dresser was situated in the corner of her room, slamming her head into the wall.
Her ears started to ring and she bent over in laughter, her natural response to pain, as tears threatened to fall down her face.
“Y/N?” Darcy was met by silence, Y/N struggling to respond, her body overcome with laughter so hard she was inaudible. Concerned that Y/N had knocked herself out cold, Darcy peeked her head around the corner of Y/N’s doorway, to find her hurled over, a hand over her left eye, drops of crimson blood on the ground.
“Holy shit, are you okay?” Y/N lifted her head, calming down from her fit of laughter, and nodded.
“Yeah, of course, this would happen to me,” she replied chuckling, taking a tissue from Darcy to put pressure on her cut.
Carefully making her way to a mirror, Y/N grabbed her phone on the way. She stared at her reflection and slowly removed the tissue from her face to examine the extent of her injury. It was steadily bleeding, most likely a bad sign. Y/N placed her tissue back over her cut and reached for her phone and Facetimed her friend Matt, an EMT.
“Hello- What the fuck happened to you?”
“Hi Matt,” she replied, shooting him a grin through the screen. “Slammed my head against the wall, by accident.”
“I would hope so,” he sighed. “Let me guess, you’re wondering whether you should go to the ER or not?”
“You know me so well, Matty.”
“Has it stopped bleeding?” Y/N removed the tissue and felt a warm liquid trail down the side of her face.
“No.”
“Go to the ER, please.” She groaned.
If there was one place in the world she despised, it was a hospital. But Y/N knew she wouldn’t be able to convince either of her friends otherwise, and dragged her feet as she reluctantly followed Darcy to her car.
It was a normal night in the ER, which meant a fury of organized chaos. Bucky found himself needed in 6 places, all at the same time. But this was an environment that he had become accustomed to, almost finding comfort in the madness of it all. Although the ER was bustling with patients, there weren’t any injuries that were very severe, mostly just broken bones and lacerations. Simple enough to the point where Bucky felt like he was operating on autopilot mode. Going through the motions of whatever task he needed to do, but not anything more than that. He felt numb. For the last several years of his life, the hospital was all that he knew. Bucky kept himself busy with work, leaving him with only a small social circle and his cat, Alpine. It was enough for him, but he never really felt complete. Which is why he threw himself into his work, drowning out his inner thoughts about a missing piece he never thought he’d find.
“Dr. Barnes, paging Dr. Barnes to bed 25.”
Bucky took a quick sip of his coffee and sighed before heading off to see his next patient. Wanda appeared from around the corner and started walking with him.
“This one’s a simple laceration, just might need stitches.” Bucky nodded in response to her, keeping his eyes straight ahead.
She was one of the select few who he considered a friend. Which was a little odd considering he was an attending and she was only a resident. But she was a good student, a fast learner, and one of the only residents he was ever willing to work with. He took her under his wing, fostering a friendship by spending time together in his office, reviewing various medical cases and files.
“Alright, you up to do them?”
Wanda came to a halt, Bucky taking a couple steps before looking back at her, tilting his head, waiting for a response.
“Y-Yeah, yes!” She stammered. “T-thank you, Dr. Barnes.” He nodded his head and turned back around to continue walking, Wanda close behind.
Y/N was sat on the edge of the bed, one hand holding a blood-soaked tissue over her left eye. Her leg was bouncing, a nervous tic she had developed from a young age. The adrenaline had worn off, forcing her to feel a throbbing pain, her eyes brimming with tears. She avoided crying in front of people whenever possible, so as soon as Darcy left to grab some coffee and snacks from the cafeteria, she let the floodgates open. The sound of footsteps approaching made her freeze and she used her sleeves to sloppily wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face.
“Ms. Y/L/N?”
A firm, but somehow also gentle, voice called out to her before the curtain was pulled open to reveal a tall man with dark brown hair, a stubbly beard, and stunningly blue eyes standing next to a woman with blazing red hair and contrasting green eyes. Y/N’s gaze was immediately fixated on the man’s eyes, unable to look away for a moment, before she realized she was staring. She quickly looked down and cleared her throat.
“Y/N, you can just call me Y/N.”
The man nodded and set down his clipboard at the end of the bed before speaking.
“I’m Dr. Barnes and this is Dr. Maximoff.” The woman gave a slight wave as she began charting on a computer. “Can I take a look at your eye?”
Y/N nodded, feeling her anxiety rise as the doctor pulled some gloves on and approached her.
He pulled over a stool to sit on and carefully removed the tissue that Y/N had been holding in place to assess the injury. While Bucky looked at her cut, he stole a glance to study the rest of her face. He couldn't help but take note of the pained look on her face, her eyes still watery and her button nose red from crying. It was the first time in a long time that he felt a twinge of pain while looking at someone's injury, that he felt practically anything at all during a shift. She felt his warm breaths on her face for a moment before he pulled away and replaced her bloody tissue with some gauze.
“Do you mind if she takes a look as well?” Y/N nodded again. Bucky got up from the stool, allowing Wanda to take his spot and assess her eye.
“So it looks like you just need 2 or 3 stitches, very simple procedure.”
Y/N felt her entire body tense up at Wanda's conclusion. She could barely stand sitting in a hospital bed alone and now she was about to get poked and prodded with needles. Bucky noticed and attempted to ease her worries.
"We'll administer a numbing agent, so you won't feel any pain, just pressure at the site."
She looked up at Bucky, who had a kind, tired expression on his face. It looked like he was having a long night and she didn't want to make his job any more difficult than it probably already was. Y/N gave him a small nod and Wanda started to gather the necessary supplies.
She laid back in bed with Wanda and Bucky sitting next to each other on her left. Her hands were folded on her stomach, eyes shut.
"You're gonna feel a slight pinch, okay?" She nodded and bit her lip to try and distract herself.
Wanda proceeded to administer the numbing shot and Y/N squeezed her hands tight, whimpering in pain. Bucky observed the pained expression on her face and placed a hand on her forearm, reflexively rubbing his thumb in small circles. When Wanda pulled the needle out, Y/N slowly fluttered her eyes open and was greeted by Bucky's warm smile. A blush crept to her cheeks and she turned her attention to the ceiling. Immediately, Bucky realized how unprofessional his action was and removed his hand. He had no idea what had come over him, but he'd never felt so drawn to someone like this before.
"Now I'm going to do the stitches, okay? You should just feel a slight pressure." Just as before, Y/N shut her eyes after Wanda spoke and gripped her hands tight. She felt the pressure that Wanda was talking about and couldn't help but squirm at the feeling. Another wave of anxiety rushed over her and she felt herself start to hyperventilate.
Wanda removed the needle and quickly turned to Bucky, a panicked look on her face. He gave her a reassuring look before speaking softly.
"Y/N? Do you think you could hold still for just a little longer?" She opened her eyes, brimming with tears.
"Sorry, I just, I hate needles." Y/N fiddled with her hands as she kept her gaze up, trying to avoid the tears from escaping. Bucky felt his heart sink in his chest at the sight.
"What do you think would help you relax?"
Thoughts ran through her head as she tried to find a solution to relieve her anxiety. Y/N thought back to when she was young and chuckled, remembering a stuffed whale that she got at an aquarium, that went everywhere with her.
"This is stupid but, when I was a kid, I would carry around this stuffed animal around and it helped to hold it whenever I had to get shots."
Bucky thought for a moment and ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he was going to regret the words about to leave his mouth.
"You could hold my hand."
Y/N and Wanda both looked at him with surprised expressions, regret instantly hitting him.
"If you're comfortable with it," he quickly clarified. Y/N felt the corner of her mouth curve into a smile as she nodded.
She laid back down and Bucky took her hand in his. The instant transfer of heat soothed Y/N and she shut her eyes to allow Wanda to get to work.
When she felt the pressure on her eye again, her hand automatically gripped Bucky's tighter, and he squeezed it back to help calm her. Y/N focused on the callousness of his hands, how his hand seemed to fit into hers perfectly. Suddenly, she was thinking about his eyes again, those glimmering blue eyes. Blue was always a calming color for her, reminiscent of her trip to the aquarium where she got her beloved stuffed whale. As she felt Bucky's thumb gently rub the top of her hand, she realized that her whale could never provide as much comfort as he did.
Bucky felt a sense of pride as he watched the tension in Y/N's face disappear. Suddenly, he found his eyes wandering, looking at the loose strands of hair on the right side of her face, the rosiness of her cheeks, how she glowed. His heart started to palpate and Bucky realized a flame had kindled inside him. He was feeling again.
"All done!" Wanda chirped, stepping aside to let Bucky check her work. He smiled at her patted her on the back with his free hand.
"You did good." Wanda beamed and thanked him, walking away to complete her charting.
Y/N's eyes fluttered open, still feeling the warmth of Bucky's hand in hers. He greeted her with a tender smile and slowly helped her up, placing his other hand on the small of her back.
"See? Wasn't that bad after all," he grinned, releasing her hand. Y/N's smile faltered, missing his touch, and nodded.
"Thank you, Dr. Barnes."
"Bucky," he stated. She raised an eyebrow. "Call me Bucky."
The pair stared at each other in silence, enjoying each other's presence before the PA system snapped them both out of their trance.
"Dr. Barnes, paging Dr. Barnes to bed 16."
Bucky sighed, slowly getting up from his seat.
"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Y/N."
"You too, Bucky."
He turned around and was about to pull the curtain open when he paused, turning back around to face Y/N, scratching the back of his head. It took one look at her face and Bucky knew he didn't want to let her go just yet.
"Would you like to get coffee sometime?" She beamed up at him and Bucky felt his knees go weak.
"I would like that very much." He chuckled in disbelief and smiled.
Bucky had finally found his missing piece.
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darylsgirl · 3 years
Text
You know you want this
Request for non con :- Daryl and reader were previously in a relationship but Daryl broke up with her and left her hurting. But Daryl realises later on that he really wants to be with the reader so he goes to her place to talk to her, but she can't go through all that hurt again so she says no. This angers Daryl and he leaves and comes back drunk after some time. Then the non con part. But I also want the reader to come around after some time?Request two :  What about Norman edging the reader? Request three:  Can you do one where the reader tells Daryl she wants to try squirting and he’s down for it and she does it repeatedly so many time they just become addicted to it. Alexandria time.
Summary: Daryl breaks your heart after you let your feelings for him slip, Breaking you completely Spencer helps to put the pieces back together, Finally starting to feel like yourself again Daryl decides he wants you back and he’s not going to take no for an answer
A/N: Hey lovelies! Sorry this has taken me so long to write! I had a dream last night for another story so hopefully it won’t take as long for the next one! Thank you all for your patience! If you have any requests let me know! I’m always happy to add them to the list :) 
Hope you like this! Have a lovely day <3
Love Jen :)
Trigger Warning: Smut starts as Non-Consensual, Edging, Squirting, Violence, Eating disorder, Self deprecating thoughts. 18+ only please! 
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It had taken months to be able to look at his face without feeling your heart shattering, You had avoided him at every possible opportunity. Excusing yourself whenever he came into a room biting back the tears. 
When people had started to notice you moping around you knew you had to reserve your heart break for when you were alone, When you and Daryl had been together you had kept it a secret wanting to have something just for you both, Not wanting to share your secret happiness with others yet. You could see why he wanted too; he was a very secretive person not wanting to let anyone into his high walls. 
The trouble with this is when one night after over a year of spending the night in his arms you let it slip, Happily curled around him you’d told him you loved him. He instantly froze. 
“Go to sleep Y/N Ya drunk” He had muttered. When you woke in the morning he was gone leaving just a note on the bedside table “You can’t love me, Goodbye Y/N” 
Jumping out of bed you had searched for him around Alexandria to be told he had taken off hunting earlier that morning. When he finally came back he wouldn’t even look at you. You had followed him home desperately trying to get him to talk to you. 
“Please Daryl just talk to me! I know you feel the same way”  
“Nah, Go home Y/N I don’t love ya and I never asked yer to say ya loved me either!, Ya knew what this was” He sneered before slamming the door in your face. 
Hearing him say he didn’t love you was all it took for you to run home locking yourself inside for days, You tried to settle in the bed but his scent was everywhere. Dragging your pillow and a blanket from the bed you had curled up on the floor 
You stayed in the same position for days only moving when your bladder felt like hot knives were being poked through it. You’d heard as various people had come knocking to check on you but you just weren’t ready to see anyone yet.
When you did finally surface a week later you could feel your clothes falling more loosely around you, You were always slim but now you looked painfully so. Carol gave you a sad smile offering you a bottle of water that you took gratefully. Carol was the only person you thought had known about you and Daryl, She had never said anything but from the pitiful look she was giving you now, She must have known. 
“Why don’t I fix you something to eat Y/N” She offered, Her hand motioning to her house. You shook your head quickly. You couldn’t go there, That’s where he would be. 
“No” You croaked your voice raspy speaking for the first time in a week. “ I’m ok, I ate earlier” She raised her eyebrow not believing you but letting it go all the same. 
You spent your weeks like this only eating small amounts if you had no other choice than to accept, Feeling your clothes get looser and looser. 
Spencer had been the one to get you to eat a full meal for the first time, Sitting with you patiently at the cook out you had been reluctant to go to. He sat with you well after dark letting you eat at your own pace, While he filled the silence with idle chatter. 
You found yourself laughing at his stories, The sound startling you when it first came out a small smile crossing your lips. You stayed with him happily forgetting for a while. That was until you heard a loud snort from the other side of the table. 
Looking over your eyes met Daryl’s briefly, You hadn’t realised he was there listening to your entire conversation. Standing quickly you looked at Spencer “I’m sorry i have to go” 
Turning on your heel you ran towards your house. “Wait Y/N! Wait” Spencer said catching up to you within a few feet. You jumped in alarm when you felt his hand on your arm. 
“What's the rush? Hey listen, I was meaning to ask you. Can I make you dinner sometime?” You looked at him shocked not saying anything when he continued. 
“Just thought we could spend some time together, Yano just us.” You thought for a moment. 
He did seem to be a nice guy and he definitely wasn’t embarrassed about being with you.
Nodding slowly, you agreed not sure why he wanted to have dinner with you, making Spencer grin “Cool! Tomorrow? I’ll come by your place at 6 to get you?” 
Nodding again you let him give you a warm hug before turning again and heading straight for your house. 
Locking the door behind you, You let out a small smile, maybe this was what you needed to get over him, someone who seemed to care about you and might return your affections. 
The date had been nice and you had become a regular thing, He had taken to walking you to and from work holding your hand and smiling down at you every time his lips brushed yours to say goodbye. He had continued to be incredibly patient with you letting you warm up to him and letting your walls come down slowly. 
It wasn’t like it was with Daryl it wasn’t a passionate burning love, It was sweet, Caring and different. Your eating problems soon behind you with Spencer, Your heart still hadn’t fully recovered but he was doing a good job of trying to glue it back together. 
It still hurt every time you saw Daryl, His eyes starting lingering on you more now since you had gone public with Spencer. You tried to avoid his gaze, Reminding yourself of the hurt he had caused you and that it was Spencer who had picked up the pieces.
6pm was soon rolling around, Spencer and you had made this a regular thing every Friday you had a date night, You wanted tonight to be different, The more Daryl looked at you the more your lust for him was returning, You had to get him out of your head and give your all to this loving patient man.  
Pulling on the red figure hugging dress you found in the back of the closet you smoothed it down hoping it would signal to him that you were ready. Pulling your hair into a loose bun and picking out some loose wavy bits to hang around your face pulling the maroon lipstick out Daryl had found for you on a run.
You had only previously worn this in bed with Daryl, It was one of his kinks, He liked to see the lipstick smeared across his body where you had left your hot kisses. Making him increasingly harder when he saw the marks around his cock.
You felt your thighs brushing together feeling yourself heat up at these memories. Shaking your head you looked at yourself in the mirror smoothing the dress down nervously. You heard as Spencer knocked on the door. Applying the lipstick you smiled at yourself feeling hot, Before heading to the door. 
As you opened it you were shocked to see not Spencer but a very awkward looking Daryl standing in front of you, He didn’t ask if he could come inside before brushing past you into the living room. 
Your heart pounding in your chest you closed the door slowly following him timidly into the living room. 
Both in silence for a few minutes before you finally found your voice, “Wh...What are you doing here?” 
His eyes wandered over your body taking in your dress before staring at the lipstick. His eyes opened wide when he recognised it
His eyes looked pained now taking a deep breath “’m so fuckin stupid Y/N, I miss ya, I want ya back....For real....I want ya to be mine” 
Daryl had never been that forward with his feelings before. Your heart pounding in your chest, You wanted to fall back into his arms, But it wasn’t fair of him to ask that of you, This wasn’t fair at all. The anger bubbling up now, The fucking nerve of this man! 
“Get out” Shaking your head you felt the anger build “Get out Daryl! No, No you don’t get to do this!! You don’t get to see me happy and moving on, Trying to forget you and just think you can walk back in and it can go back to how it was!” 
“But....Y/N please. I-I” 
Cutting him off trying to cut the emotion from your voice “Spencer will be here any minute, Get the fuck out!” 
You took a step back as he started towards you, He watched as you flinched at his movements, Seeing the fear in your eyes. He was close too close, You could feel your body burning for him, It terrified you how much power this man had over you.
“Ya don’t have to be scared of me Y/N i wont hurt ya....Yer know that..” 
“Too late Daryl, You already did! GET OUT!” Pushing his chest harshly seemed to snap him out of it. Not saying another word he turned on his heel slamming the back door behind him. 
It took a few minutes to compose yourself, Grabbing the whiskey bottle from the cupboard you took a few deep swigs settling it back down and fixing what you thought was a convincing smile back on your face as someone knocked on the door again. 
Thank god, It was Spencer this time!” 
“Holy shit…… Sorry! Hey baby...,. You loook….. Incredible” Spencer said his jaw dropping when he saw you. 
Stifling your giggle you lent up kissing his cheek, Biting your lower lip slightly as you saw the Kiss mark on his face. The blush was rising in your cheeks the alcohol was definitely hitting you fast.
“Shall we” He asked, still in awe holding his arm out to you. Taking his arm you stepped out of the house closing the door behind you. The moment your feet hit the pavement, You almost walked straight into Daryl.  
“Watch where ya goin” He growled. Spencer feeling the tension put his arm around your shoulders protectively pulling you out of Daryl’s way into his chest. 
“C’mon babe, Dinner will be getting cold” You tore your eyes from Daryl’s turning your attention to Spencer as he kissed your hair. Smiling sweetly at him you let him pull you away down the street towards his house, Glancing backwards you saw that Daryl was glaring at you now with those dark eyes. Putting your arm around Spencer's back you tried to shake off his glare. 
He had looked pissed.. But what fucking right did he have to be upset? What did he think was going to happen? You were going to live the rest of your life as a nun moping around and starving yourself because of him?  Or that you would just forget all of it and just fall back into his eyes like the pathetic woman he thought you were? Fuck no! You tried not to let the anger build. 
During your meal you had tried to concentrate on Spencer but your mind kept wandering back to Daryl. You drank more that night than you had on any of your other dates trying to get up the courage to take things further. As you sat on the couch together kissing sweetly, You decided now was the time. 
Standing up you straddled his hips moving your dress up enough to give your legs space to move. Grabbing his face you kissed him eagerly. Moaning as his hands came to your thighs rubbing them gently before moving to the small of your back pulling your core and chest tight to him. 
Moving your lips now to his neck you kissed him hungrily. “Y/N….Y/N stop” 
Pushing away from him you looked at him confused “Why….?” 
“I really want you….REALLY want you but your so drunk!, it’s not right doing this now”
He saw the surprise and rejection in your eyes. Putting his hand in your hair he pressed your lips against his gently. 
“Baby I want to make love to you, So fucking much but not while your like this. But soon. I promise ok?”
You nodded giving him a small smile, He was a good guy and you appreciated that about him. 
“Guess i should go then…” You trailed off standing up from him and smoothing your dress back down. 
“Want me to walk you home babe?” 
Shaking your head “No it’s okay its only a block down i can manage” He stood walking you to the door he gave you one last kiss before wiping the slightly smeared lipstick from your face. Giggling you left. 
Walking slowly up the street enjoying the light breeze before sighing and heading into your house, Leaving the lights off you walked straight into your bedroom. 
That’s when you saw him. Lying on your bed, The same Jealous glare in his eyes. The previously full bottle of whiskey laying empty at his side.
“What the hell are you doing here Daryl?” You asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of your voice. 
“What are you doin with him?” he retorted standing up from the bed now. He walked slowly to you.
Stuttering “He’s my boyfriend… Why wouldn’t i be with him” 
“Ya fuckin mine! Not His!!Tell me Y/N Ya let him touch you?” 
“What fucking business it of yours, I told you to leave me alone!” You snapped. He was standing directly in front of your now so close you could feel the breath on your cheek. 
“You wanna be a whore, Walkin around with the likes of him, I’ll treat ya like a whore Y/N only had to ask….”
Leaning into you he pressed his mouth to your ear “Bet he can’t make yer feel as good as i can” 
You froze as you felt him now his hands pulling you to him kissing your neck feverishly. 
“Stop!” You cried putting your hands to his chest. “You don’t get to do this! Break my heart then think you can just what...Come in here and I’ll fall back into bed with you? Fuck you Dixon” Your voice full of venom. 
You heard the growl rise in his chest, “That’s the fuckin plan” He sneered down at you. 
Gripping your throat tightly he threw you onto the bed hands quick as lightning he pushed your skirt up revealing the lacy underwear you had put on for Spencer. Throwing his body onto yours he tried to kiss you. 
Panicked you bit his lip hard drawing blood “Get the fuck off me….What are you doing!! I’m with Spencer!” 
Wiping his lip he grinned at you “Still feisty Y/N Fuck Spencer. I’m gonna show ya what yer missin with him”
His voice now a low growl “You know you want this”
Putting his hand into your hair he gripped it tightly pulling your head back and keeping it in place while he attacked your neck again struggling against his body he kept you pinned.. 
“Daryl….Please...Please stop this!” You cried feeling the tears hit your eyes as his hand ripped your underwear from you. 
“Ya know ya want me Y/N Why else would you be wearin a dress like this, Or that lipstick i got ya. Stop fuckin fighting this, I need ya now, You need me too” His hand now undoing his own pants as his teeth bit harshly into your neck and chest. 
In one quick motion he was inside you. “See” he growled “So fuckin wet for me” At first you were ashamed of your body’s reaction to him, Then your mind started clouding feeling yourself get wetter and wetter. He pulled his teeth back now replacing it with warm wet kisses.
You couldn’t stop the moan that ripped from your throat as his huge member touched that delicious spot inside you making your chest arch to meet his. 
You felt him smirk against your neck. Feeling the fight leave your body being replaced by the pleasure he was giving you he released your hair and lightened the pressure he had on your arms. 
Instinctively you raised your arms to his neck tangling your fingers in his hair pulling his lips back to meet yours, Every part of your fight gone now. Just loving this feeling you had been denied for so long. 
He kissed you wildly, his tongue pushing into your mouth groaning into the kiss when your tongue danced with his. 
“Tell me how much ya love this cock Y/N” He growled lips moving back to your ear nibbling softly. 
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at the sound of his voice feeling your body give in fully to him all thoughts of Spencer wiped fully from your head. 
“Tell me Y/N! Tell me how you love my cock more than Spencer’s” he demanded. At Spencer's name your eyes flashed back to his. 
“We didn’t….We never….Oh god Daryl!” You were so close. 
Tormentingly his hips stopped then. “What d’ya mean ya didn’t? Is he fuckin crazy...Look at you...Look at this fucking dress” His hands went back to the hem of your dress which was now lying haphazardly across your stomach. Lifting your torso slightly he pulled it free from you. 
“Oh god, Y/N I’ve missed this sexy fucking body” His head darting down to kiss your exposed breast, Groaning you felt him pull out of you his lips moving down your body. 
“Daryl please, I was so close!” You begged, Missing the incredible full feeling you had moments ago. 
Grinning up at you he ducked his head again running his tongue down and around your navel.  
“Stand up” He ordered. It took a moment for your legs to respond, Standing with him knelt in front of you, He kissed both of your hips before kissing you harshly on your aching bud. 
Licking from bottom to top a few times before starting to suckle softly at first then with growing intensity as his fingers found your heat, Once he had buried his fingers into you, You felt your knees growing weak again. Tangling your fingers into his hair and desperately pulling his incredible mouth closer as it swirled around whilst rocking against his fingers. His fingers curling inside you hitting your g-spot perfectly. 
Just as you were feeling that blissful heat about to explode he pulled his mouth away, Fighting with him slightly you tried to pull him back, Grinning up at you he tutted “Not yet Y/N.” Removing his fingers from you he stood pulling you with him and pushing you up against the back wall. 
Kissing you deeply and lightly brushing his fingers up and down your sides. You were panting heavily feeling the frustratingly close high fade away. Once your breath was back under control he knelt in front of you again.
“Trust me” His voice a dark gravel breath as he moved his body between your legs lifting one foot from the floor and putting it over his shoulder. 
He gave you a swift wink before grabbing the other leg and putting that over his other shoulder. His hands on your hips to steady you he stood with you on his shoulders, Bracing yourself hands on the ceiling you let out a surprised yelp. 
His teeth meeting the inside of your thigh. “Oh yes, Daryl!” you groaned. He turned his face nipping your other thigh before hungrily staring down his main target. 
His tongue darted out of his mouth resuming its earlier attack on your aching clit, “Ahh please Daryl!” You begged as you felt your self building straight back up instantly.
Your walls were clenching tighter and tighter desperate for this knot to be unwound. Arching your chest, your head hitting against the wall a squealing moan escaping your chest as he nibbled softly on you. 
Your breaths getting deeper as you got close again. And just like the other two times he pulled his mouth away. Manoeuvring you off his shoulders into his strong arms before dropping you back to the ground. 
Your pleasure quickly turning into a frustrated rage. “What the fuck Daryl!” You swiped your arm at him trying to hit him in the chest, Catching your arms lazily he smirked at you not saying anything. 
You could feel the tears of humiliation springing back to his eyes, turning away from him you wrapped your arms around your naked body. He had to be messing with you, This was cruel and if you were honest kind of painful. 
“Get the fuck out” you yelled towards the wall not wanting him to see just how frustrated you were. 
As his arms reached out for you, You felt the shift in his mood. At first you tried to shrug him away but he persisted pulling you into his chest. Leading you back to the bed he lay down next to you. 
Still not saying a word he kissed you again sweetly this time. Letting you open back up to him as he slowly crawled back over to you, Nudging your knees open his mouth still on yours as he entered you again. 
You looked at him nervously as he moved slowly not wanting to ignite that heat again, Worried he was going to take it from you again. 
Hearing the deep moans coming from his throat as he kissed you, You allowed yourself to just enjoy the moment. He felt so good. 
Every thrust was slow and deep, Filling you so completely like no one else ever could. He knew just how much you loved the slow torture. Moaning back for him you could feel your walls clenching down again. 
Separating your lips you tried to control your high and calm your body down. Daryl watched as you squirmed, your chest heaving with your deep breaths. 
Bringing his nose to your hair nuzzling it slightly before whispering “Cum for me Y/N” His eyes meeting yours, You prayed he was being sincere as you couldn’t hold it back much longer. 
His hand coming up to your chest tweaking your erect nipples as he started to move faster in you. 
“Oh fuck! Daryl” You whined, Your entire body feeling on fire as your every nerve responded to his words and actions. You felt a different type of pressure build in your groin, It was the sweetest pain you had ever felt. 
Your body started to violently shake as it felt like lightning was ripping through your heat. 
That’s when you felt it, It was like you had been paralysed as Daryl pulls out quickly replacing his throbbing cock with his fingers again. 
Curling them back up to your g-spot his other hand palming your clit. 
“OH FUCKKKKKK” you screamed as the first wave exploded through you. You could feel the waves of wetness exploding from you. Staring at Daryl incredulously he looked just as surprised as you did at your squirt. 
You didn’t know what the fuck was happening to you all you knew was that it was the most incredible feeling you had ever had. 
It seemed never ending as arc after arc of juices spilled out of you hitting his chest, His groin and soaking the bed. Pushing his desperate cock feverishly back into you, He hit into you harder than before. 
Your juices were still leaking around him as he cried out. “Holy Fuck Y/N! I love ya,Yer fucking incredible!” 
Your orgasm still ripping through you “Ah fuck Daryl!!!” You screamed as you felt it hit its highest point before your body started to slowly climb down. 
“Ahhhh Y/N. Fuck” He cried out again as you felt him explode deep into you, You didn’t have the cognitive ability to comprehend what he had just said as you were clinging to  his neck like you had just survived a tidal wave. 
Not sure how long you had both stayed that way you felt as the sheets under you turned freezing cold from your juices. 
Daryl moved off from you then pausing to kiss your forehead. Collapsing at the side of you it took him a few more minutes of deep breaths to compose himself. Both just lying there in stunned silence. 
“That was…” He mumbled. “Incredible” you finished still seeing stars. 
Turning to place a loving kiss on your lips. Your brain finally starting to work again. 
“Wait….Daryl did you say…?” He pulled an arm over his face, his cheeks glowing red. 
“Yah and what if i do?” He asked you slightly angrily. 
“You don’t Daryl, If you did you wouldn’t have left like you did” You could feel the pain returning to your chest, All those months pining after him not able to eat or sleep with his absence. 
“I do Y/N I just didn’ deserve ya, Didn’ want ya to fall for someone like me when you could have someone better for ya, Someone like Him” His arm still draped across his face not looking at you. 
This was the most you had ever heard him talk about his feelings, Lifting yourself just enough off the bed to move upwards to his eye level you moved his arm away from his face making him look at you. 
“I don’t want someone like him, You’re the best there is. I wanted you, And you broke me” 
He looked at you guiltily “It damn near broke me too Y/N” He whispered. 
The silence was awkward now, Giving you a small smile “We should uh get cleaned up, Didn’ know ya could do that....” he joked motioning at the juices still covering his chest. He got up and you tried to follow your legs instantly, going weak before you hit the floor. He caught you with a chuckle.
Pulling you in his arms he kissed you passionately moaning into his kiss you pulled back “I didn’t know i could do that either, Can we do it again?” You asked innocently, your eyes still closed. 
He sighed heavily “I want to do that every fucking...Day” He growled you felt his member stir between you. 
Carrying you to the shower and turning it on he set you down on your feet before taking you again and again. When you finally both came up for air you washed each other off and went back to the bedroom changing the sheets quickly and sinking into a happy blissful sleep with his arms wrapped around you tightly. 
Waking up the next morning you were surprised to find the bed cold when you reached out next to you. Grumbling you opened your eyes searching for him, Eyes locking on him as he was pacing by the end of the bed fully dressed. 
“Morning sugar” You grinned seeing him still with you,
“Good mornin Beautiful” He whispered. You let yourself bask in the happy morning glow. 
“Y/N…..Y/N ‘M so fuckin sorry. ‘M gonna go just waited till ya wer awake, Needed ya to know how sorry i am” His voice full of emotion, He had glanced over to you occasionally not meeting your eyes. 
You looked at him quizzically “Why are you sorry?” 
Coming and kneeling at the side of the bed, He grasped your hand desperately in both of his. 
“Ya know why Y/N I…..uh…..I” Stammering his words, his chest rising heavily, his grip on your hand starting to feel painful. 
“I fucking forced ya!” You heard the emotion run over now as the sobs racked his body. 
Not sure how to respond to this, You had to admit it sure started out that way but if you were being completely honest you had loved how rough he was with you, How much he needed you. The jealousy that overtook his whiskey addled brain. 
He stood ripping his hands off you which brought you back to reality. 
“I’ll go, I’ll leave ya don’ have ta see me again Y/N ‘m so sorry” 
“Noo!!” You half screamed throwing yourself up from the bed and towards him completely forgetting about your state of undress.
Your hands gripping at his vest desperately, “No please! Daryl Please!! Don’t leave me i won’t survive it again, You can’t leave me” You were begging now trying to get his eyes to meet yours. 
He finally gave in seeing the pain on your face. You shivered slightly and he immediately wrapped you in his arms holding you to his chest, His heart pounding in time with yours. 
“But i...i….i hurt ya Y/N, I fuckin hurt ya.”
“No you didn’t Daryl. Look at me i’m fine! I’m ok! Please don’t leave! I just got you back” 
“I am lookin at ya!” He growled. Pulling you towards the bathroom he pushed you in front of the mirror. “Look!!” He half yelled. 
Letting a sharp gasp escape as you looked at your appearance. You were covered in bruises. There were clear finger marks on your neck, Marks from his teeth there too.
Looking down the bruises trailed across your hips with a few on your thighs. 
After assessing them for a moment and determining that none of them actually hurt, The longer you looked the more you remembered about how those bruises got there. Biting your lip you turned to look at him. 
Wrapping your hands around his waist, “Daryl really i’m ok! I bruise super easy, they look worse than they are, I promise. You didn’t hurt me.” Your voice dropping to a whisper “I want a repeat of last night, It was incredible” Feeling your cheeks flush you saw him looking at you incredulously. 
Pulling away from him slowly you walked backwards towards the bed keeping your eyes on him, You could see the internal struggle as he internally fought with himself. 
“C’mere baby i need you” You purred. Grinning as you saw the better side of him win, He rushed over covering your body with his kissing you feverishly, Lying you much more gently on the bed this time. Moaning into his mouth when your tongues met. 
This man was a 100 different types of perfection, His clothes hitting the floor desperate to feel your skin on his again. 
“For fuck sake!!!!” you whimpered as someone started knocking on the door. Panic in your chest as you tried to remember if you locked the door. Daryl stood quickly pulling his jeans back on swiftly.
“Y/N? Y/N you okay love?” He called through your locked front door.
Sitting up quickly and pulling the blanket around your chest hiding your body from his view. 
You hand covering your mouth it was Spencer, God he couldn’t find you like this. You felt tears spring to your eyes as you realised the depth of your betrayal. 
“Oh god, What am I going to tell him, He’s such a good guy and I did this. I’m scum!” 
Daryl scoffed “He ain’t a good guy Y/N and yer aint scum, Yer worth ‘undred of him!” 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” 
“Exactly what i said, He aint a good guy. Yer don’t wanna hear it Y/N”
Pulling the blanket tighter around your body
“Don’t tell me what i want to hear, Tell me now!” 
Daryl looked completely away from you running his hand through his hair, his other hand balling into a fist. 
“He had a bet Y/N, Him and that asshole brother of his, On how long it would take him to bed ya, Said he were gonna let his brother have ya when he was done. Ta up the stakes he bet he could make ya fall in love with him first…” He trailed off his anger palpable. 
The shock evident on your face, You had trusted him, Thought he had really cared but you were just a bet to him? Fuck this! 
Daryl was hot on your heels as you ran full speed down the stairs and to the door. Ripping it open Spencer had just hit the bottom step as you appeared. 
“Hey baby…” Looking from your face to the blanket wrapped around your naked body. He took the steps back two at a time. “Mmm should i join you” He winked. Stopping just before the door he took in your appearance. 
The amusement dropped from his face as he saw the bruises “Babe what the hell happened? Are you ok?” 
Letting the fury show on your face you pushed the door open wider revealing the shirtless Daryl behind you “Yeah im great! Sorry you're too late asshole, Guess you lost the bet huh?” You spat with as much venom as you could. 
Daryl took a protective step towards you now as Spencer got closer. 
“What the fuck Y/N what the fuck is he doing here? Did he do that?” 
Raising your voice so the crowd gathering on the street could hear. “Don’t fucking start Spencer! I know all about your little bet!! You were going to trick me into falling for you, Fuck you and then hand me off to your brother? Who the fuck do you think you are? You and your brother can go fuck each other.” 
Humiliated Spencer snapped his false demeanour vanishing “So you let the dirty old Redneck fuck you eh? You really will fuck anyone won’t you!” Glancing between you and Daryl. Daryl moving forward and wrapping an arm around you ready to move you out of the way if this got any worse.
“You can keep the bitch, She’ll have fucked half the town soon enough Buddy. Just what Alexandria needed a whore who will drop her pants for anyone if they give her a drink, Tried to fuck me last night too had to pry the dirty bitch off” he spat. 
You couldn’t have held him back if you had wanted to, Daryl had flung himself at Spencer knocking him down the steps onto the street and straight on his ass. Straddling his hips he rained blow after blow, blood pouring from Spencer's face a mess of blood when Rick and Abe finally managed to pull him off.
Yelling at Spencer who was starting to get up timidly looking like he was about to hide behind his mother. 
“I ever hear ya talk about Y/N that way again i’ll fuckin kill ya! Ya fuckin hear me!!! Yer or yer fuckin dumbass brother so much as look at my woman again they’ll be no savin ya!” 
Pulling himself out of Rick’s and Abe’s grasp for a moment he threw a hard kick in the direction of Spencer's head. 
“Daryl Stop!! He’s not worth it!” Your voice shaking as you tried to get Daryl’s attention, placing your hand gently on his cheek he stopped fighting. 
“I ain’t lettin him talk to ya like that Y/N!” He almost whined trying to excuse himself. 
“I know baby, But it’s ok he aint worth it! You taught him his lesson, I love you, I’m yours! Let’s go back inside!” Very aware now of all the eyes on you both, You still in just a blanket and Daryl only in his Jeans. 
Daryl’s eyes softened pulling away from Abe and Rick again he pulled you to him.
“I love ya Y/N Ya are mine and now all these pricks know it” He half chuckled. 
“C’mon, I’d like to get back to our earlier activities before this prick interrupted” Giggling as his eyes grew dark. Throwing a dirty look at Spencer you let Daryl throw you over his shoulder, His arms clamped around the blanket to cover your body.
He ran with you back up the stairs. You heard as Abe guffawed letting out a wolf whistle as Daryl slammed the door behind you both, Moving to the curtains he slammed them shut. 
As he turned back to you, You dropped the towel swaying your hips as you walked over to him. 
“Show me how your’s i am Daryl” You purred forgetting all about the incident just moments ago. 
Your bodies collided, He showed you every spare moment he had just how much you belonged to each other, You couldn’t have even dreamt of how happy you were together. Spencer never hassled you again not even looking in your direction after that day, Much to Daryl’s amusement. 
His group had accepted you as family instantly. Never once questioning your love just embracing it.
Even though the situation that brought you both back together hadn’t been ideal you couldn’t help the grin on your face every time he drank whiskey. 
Thank god for Whiskey and Daryl fucking Dixon. 
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424 notes · View notes
i-just-like-goats · 3 years
Text
Miya Atsumu x Female Reader
Warnings: none
Summary: The Inarizaki team have all placed bets on when you and your longtime best friend Atsumu will finally get together. Kita is close to losing the bet, time for him to step in.
It is known to all students at Inarizaki High that Atsumu was a lady’s man. Sure he wasn’t a womaniser or a player, but that didn’t stop him from breaking hearts everywhere he went. His mere dismissal of a girl would lead that girl to burst into tears, straight up rejections even worse. His casual flirtatious comments did not at all help with his reputation, leading oblivious girls to believe he actually held interest in them. How wrong they were.
Whereas you. You deemed yourself nothing special. Nothing too flashy, unlike a certain someone. You didn’t stand out in a crowd, and most certainly never attempted to shine or take the spotlight. You left that to your best friend.
Miya Atsumu.
“Hey could you-“
“No.”
“Will you please put in a good-“
“No.”
The first two girls had left, their hopes crushed, you felt relieved they had gone to class until another girl replaced them and effectively disrupted your short lived peace.
“Y/N!” She said, her voice oozed with fake sweetness.
“Do I know you?” You asked bluntly.
“We sit next to each other in chemistry, silly. Don’t you remember?”
“And?”
“So I was wondering if I could ask you a favour?”
“If it’s homework we had none. If it’s class work I’ll send you my notes. If it’s anything else; leave me alone.”
“I just need you to give this little gift to At-“
“Not interested.”
With that you swiftly walked away, which left the unnamed girl open mouthed with shock. This was the daily routine you had to put up with. Reject all of Atsumu’s fan girls who approached you in order to reach him. Truth be told it was extremely tedious, but you couldn’t really complain - after all you were the one who befriended him. It was a small price to pay for being friends with him.
“Hey I was wondering if you could set me up with Atsumu?” A different girl asked.
Scratch that it wasn’t small. At all. It was a big price to pay. Very tedious. Very irritating. Very time consuming. By the time you reached your first class - English - you were already exhausted and plopped yourself into your seat.
“Don’t you look wonderful?”
“Well you wouldn’t look so hot either if you had to fight off Atsumu’s admirers in the space of one morning.”
Osamu noticed your sharp tone and held his hands up in mock surrender. You shook your head at him and started writing down what your teacher was saying.
Lunch came around and you made your way to your usual table next to your best friend.
“There’s my favourite best friend!”
All eyes were on you as you made your way to Atsumu. Some looked with contempt. Some with envy. Others with anger. All harboured ill feelings towards you. He had that certain look in his eye when you walked over to him, like you were the greatest thing in the world. His smile widened once you took the seat across from him, Atsumu’s eyes sparkled with joy as though it was his first time seeing your face again. Suna scoffed at his expression, not before taking a sneaky picture of proof about how much Miya Atsumu was whipped for Y/N L/N.
“Where were you all morning! I missed you so much,”
“I was dying,”
Silence. Atsumu tilted his head in confusion. Next to him, his twin stifled a laugh.
“Bro, your girlfriend here was busy fending off the wild animals that make up your fan club. She had no time to see your stupid face, and the last time you saw her was yesterday,”
Everyone in proximity of your table tensed up at Osamu’s words. From the table next to yours, Atsumu’s fan girls glared daggers at you.
“Yesterday was ages ago,” Atsumu whined.
“That’s what you focus on?” You ask incredulously.
Instantly Atsumu’s demeanour changed and he glanced to his left.
“Way to go Osamu, now Y/N’s on their hit list,” Atsumu said dryly.
“Well if you didn’t flirt back none of us would be in this mess,” Kita kindly passive aggressively informed his teammate.
Ever since Atsumu’s first official match, girls had been flocking to Atsumu like a swarm of bees to their queen. Every day the Inarizaki volleyball team had to deal with squealing fan girls gushing over Atsumu’s talent for volleyball, essentially distracting the players and disrupting practice. At first Atsumu shamelessly flirted back, basking in the attention, now he, as well as the others were fed up. In short, Kita was tired. Tired of the fan girls. And most importantly tired of the fact that you and Atsumu weren’t dating yet. At this rate Kita would lose the bet that Osamu and Suna had coerced him to take part in. He had bet that you and Atsumu would be dating by the end of the month, which was this Saturday, and the way things were going between you two, he’d probably have to ask you out himself for Atsumu in order to win the bet. On the other hand, Osamu bet that Atsumu would ask in their third year, Aran bet that you would actually ask instead of Atsumu and Suna bet that Atsumu would ask at the end of next month. It was decided that the losers would do what the winner wanted for a day, with no complaining whatsoever. A whole day of getting the team to do what he wants without complaints. A dream come true for Kita.
“It’s the end of the month on Saturday. Two days,” Osamu sing songed.
“So?” You asked.
“Oh, nothing,”
You dropped it and shrugged. Opposite you, Kita sent a saccharine smile towards Osamu, while the latter playfully smirked back. Kita had a plan.
Two day passed as usual, nothing significant happened; that is until the end of the second day. As usual, you made your way out of Physics with Atsumu; your best friend filled in the silence with his cheerful chatter. Unusually, Kita stood there at the end of the corridor.
“Hey cap! What brings you here?” Atsumu inquired.
Kita seemed to snap out of whatever was bothering him, for his face returned from his previous scrunched expression to his more neutral expression.
“Hm? Oh I came here to speak with Y/N. If that’s alright with the two of you?”
You nodded, though intrigued as to what Kita wanted to talk to you about, Atsumu on the other hand stayed silent. Before you left with Kita, he crushed you with a hug and sent puppy eyes at your retreating figure, walking next to his captain.
During the walk out of school grounds, Kita mentally prepared himself to convince you to ask Atsumu out, allowing both his and Aran’s plan to work, so that the pair won the bet - Kita was too engrossed in his thoughts. A while passed before you and Kita spoke; you were already halfway home before you confronted Kita.
“Kita?”
“You have feelings for Atsumu, don’t you?”
Kita panicked at your sudden dialogue and spoke the words that first came to his mind. His panic was not conveyed through his steady tone of voice. Truth be told, it was more of a statement than a question, it certainly caught you off guard. The latter half of the sentence seemed to be added hastily as though to soften the bluntness.
“What makes you say that?” You answered evenly, and turned your face away from him, a small blush settled firmly on your cheeks.
“Answering my question with a question I see,” he teased, “Everyone knows, the both of you don’t hide your feelings very well, it surprises me that you two aren’t dating yet,”
“I know he has feelings for me, I’m not an idiot, I see the way he looks differently at me and I see how he’s more clingy towards me than the others. I’m not an idiot,” you repeated.
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“I don’t know,”
“I think you do know. Idiot,”
You pouted and let out a huff.
“Fine. Fine,” you finally conceded, “I’m not an idiot but I am a coward. I guess - as cliché as it sounds - I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What if it doesn’t work out and we end on bad terms? Years of friendship would be wasted and gone in an instant. I just. I just don’t want to risk that happening,”
“What’s life without a little risk,”
At Kita’s attempt at lightening the mood, you scoffed and shook your head.
“Sorry, that was unlike me. What I meant to say was you won’t know until you try. Sure there is that possibility that the relationship may end badly and the precious friendship between you and Atsumu would probably be lost, but there is also a chance that this relationship will end happily, with no heartbreak. I can’t guarantee that everything will be peachy; obviously there’s going to be some problems along the way but knowing your stubborn personality I am confident that you will fight for you and Atsumu, because I know you care way too much for him to let him go,”
Kita’s speech surprised you, this was the most encouraging thing he had said to you. Ever. You smiled.
“Thanks Kita. I really needed that,” you said as you finally reached your house.
Kita made his way to his house, waving as he walked down the steeet. He left you with a lot to think about.
Later that evening you called Kita again, and talked until he decided that it was time to go to sleep.
That morning you walked to school with Kita in a comfortable silence. Once you reached school you spoke.
“Ok I’m going to do it,”
“Yes you will,” Kita encouraged.
Confidently you walked up to your long time best friend, then suddenly turned the other direction.
“I can’t do it,” you cried out.
Exasperatedly, Kita shook his head and forced a strained smile.
“Y/N do you want to do this or not?”
“I do,”
“Then go get him,”
“I’ll do it while we walk home,”
Anyway, the school day passed, honestly you couldn’t remember what happened, it was all a blur.
“Atsumu?” you called.
“Yup?”
“Do you want to walk home together?”
“Yes! I’m still kinda annoyed you walked with Kita, Kita of all people instead of me,”
“Sorry about that ‘Tsumu,” you replied bashfully.
With that you both made your way out of school. Little did you know Kita, Osamu, Suna and Aran followed you both from a distance. Osamu and Suna because they just wanted to go home. Kita and Aran to make sure you confessed.
“Get ready to do what we want for a day,” Kita stated.
“What do you mean ‘we’?” Suna questioned.
“Kita and I formulated a plan,” Aran answered cryptically.
“Guys shut up Y/N stopped walking,” Osamu whisper shouted.
You had indeed stopped walking, leaving Atsumu to carry on walking and talking. You had been quiet the whole walk, which wasn’t unusual, as you normally let Atsumu talk, while you listened. You were just too lost in your thoughts.
“Y/N?”
Atsumu had finally noticed that you were no longer by his side.
“Hellooo. Earth to Y/N,”
“I like you,”
Atsumu was taken aback. That was not a reply he was expecting.
“I just really like your smile, your personality even though you can be quite big headed at times, I like your laugh, I just like you for you, not in the way that those girls like you for your looks and skills. I like everything about you even your flaws,”
“Whoa, for real?”
You glanced at his expression and burst out laughing.
“You look like surprised Pikachu!” you wheezed out.
Atsumu joined in with your laughter. The two of you continued laughing for several minutes.
“I like you too,” Atsumu said once both your laughter finally died down.
You turned your gaze towards his eyes. His beautiful eyes that held all the stars in the galaxy.
“That’s a relief,” 
148 notes · View notes
todomochi-uwu · 3 years
Text
Of Unspoken Troubles & Loving You (3/3)
Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader
Warnings: Angst
Author’s Notes: Done.
"Don't worry, Toshi. We'll be okay."
Previous parts: First Second Second&Half
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Tension filled the entire gymnasium, you could feel it, the players could feel it, the rest of teams could feel it, everyone was gathering around the court, watching as each of the teams gave out their best to try and beat the other.
Anxiety ran through your veins, your shoulders were tense and the need to vomit was becoming more prominent each second it passed, you knew damn well you might have caused all this stupid rivalry, and while an outsider might see it as an over-exaggeration, the thought of someone getting hurt was throwing you over the edge. You could see the face of each and every single one of the boys, you could see the desperation, the nerves, the tiredness; and you couldn't help but pity them, there was nothing left to say, there was no way to convince them, it just simply would be stupid to do it.
The ball flew by leaving each court, points were given and groans let out, sweat covered their entire faces and their breathing so heavy it could be heard across the room; it was already the third set and none of the teams had asked for a time out, no one was giving up. It wasn´t until the mandatory rest at the half of the set that you could finally approach the boys.
"Hey boys, please take it easy. I don't want anyone getting hurt, okay? Please remember this is only a practice match, nothing to lose here." You try and calm them up, passing out water bottles, just as you were making sure everyone was okay, the rigidness of a chest crossed your way.
You looked up and couldn´t help but get flustered at the sight, Ushijima's breathing was heavy and sweat drops ran down his face, he sported the same stoic face as always but the look in his eyes was trying to tell you something, he longed for something and you knew what it was, wondering if you should give in and just comfort him, but once again the words 'Manager, not captain' filled your thoughts, and suddenly the urge washed away. "You are giving your best Ushijima san, but remember not to overwork it, Washijou wouldn´t like for you to pull a muscle." Patting his shoulder, you made your way to the rest of the team.
You were helping Tendou bandage his fingers, which were now red and bloated from all the blocking he had done, every time you would pass the bandages around them he would let out a small hiss, "You know, he didn't mean to be an asshole, he´s sorry for what he did." Tendou mumbled, making you frown "I see, so that´s why you are here apologizing for him." Tendou tried again, "Y/N…" "No, Tendou. I'm more than tired." You got up, finishing the last touches and going next to make sure Goshiki was okay.
-
The rest of the match was even worse, Kenma could barely breath and the look that covered Kuroo's face was one of pure frustration, the board wasn´t looking good for his team, 24-19, and while they had managed to win a set, he didn't think they could get away with the victory.
And while they tried their very best, in the end, it wasn't enough.
Everything was over, and while everyone seemed satisfied enough that the match was over, Kuroo couldn't help as if he had to prove himself to you. Feeling ashamed that even at this moments, Ushijima had managed to surpass him.
"Good job, guys!" You came running with towels and a box full of energy drinks, making sure everyone had one, even Nekoma. After reassuring all of them were okay, you spotted a very tired man sitting by the benches, head low, covered by a white towel and gasping for air still. Kuroo.
You approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him, "Hi." Your voice was small, not knowing how he would react.
He raised his head, the look in his eyes said everything, "Hey."
Few minutes passed by, no one knew what to say next.
"I knew that maybe we didn't stand a chance, but this is a new kind of humiliation." He giggled humourlessly.
"Kuroo…" You tried, before he continued, "I'm not mad at you, it would be stupid to be. I just can't believe that asshole has absolutely everything right in front of his fucking nose and yet he doesn't seem to care." He shook his head, desperation filling his veins, clouding his vision. "Fuck this." He got up and the process he kicked the bench next to him, making his way down the gym.
"Kuroo?" You followed him, worried for what he might do.
His pace didn't stop or faltered, his eyes screamed in fury and his body language indicated only one thing if Ushijima wasn't going to realize by himself how lucky he was, maybe he would have to give him a clue.
Meanwhile, you kept trying to stop him, reason with his logic and the thoughts that fogged his mind, but nothing worked, he was determined to do something.
"Ushijima!" The raw voice filled the hallway, making the miracle boy turn around. His features hardened at the sight of you behind Kuroo; he didn't say anything but didn't back down. "You are a fucking jerk, are you aware of that?"
Nothing you could say or do would change the current situation.
"You. You fucking idiot." His finger pointed directly, coming closer every second. "You have absolutely everything I have been killing myself for, you are monster in volleyball, we get it, but you also got her?" This time the attention was directed at you, making you uncomfortable, "And yet you dare ignore her and treat her like a piece of shit. Who the fuck do you think you are?" He couldn't hold back anymore, pushing his hands against Ushijima's chest, he kept going, not worrying about the consequences, "You don't deserve it, you don't deserve the love she's giving you." The final straw, "And for that, I'll make sure you don't get any more of it."
Snap.
Everything seemed so blurry, one moment to another Ushijima was on top of the middle blocker, punches flying everywhere, curses and threats were thrown and terror swallowed your heart.
Tendou and Reon trying to hold back Ushijima while Bokuto and Lev tried to do the same for Kuroo, it had finally blown up and you couldn't help but feel responsible.
Coaches surrounded the boys, dragging them apart and lecturing them in what just had happened; feeling completely useless you made your way outside, trying to clear your thoughts.
Was all of this necessary? Ushijima might be oblivious and blunt, but you loved him; he was also having a hard time and you knew it, yet decided to go on.
And what about Kuroo? Why did you have to get him involved in your mess? He was doing more than okay, yet you were selfish enough and dragged him.
If it was love, whatever you seemed to be in, why was it so difficult to feel happy? It surely shouldn't be like this, you should be able to communicate all your worries to Wakatoshi, it should not be this difficult, and to this, you worried. Was Ushijima the real problem here, or was there something more to it?
-
Making your way down to the nursery's office, know full well Ushijima and Kuroo would be there, not being quite ready to face them, not knowing what to say or how to act, you just knew you had to see them.
Sitting down on a bench next to the door was Kuroo, he was holding an ice pack to his right cheek and small bandages covered his lips along with some cream covering the small bruises in his nose. The sight of his face alone made your heart feel even heavier. "Hey, cry baby." He mumbled.
"Hey." You sat down, trying to find the right words. "You look like shit." God, why are you like this?
"Yeah? You should see what I did to him." He said lazily, "He doesn't punch as hard as I think he would, do you think he was holding back?" He smirked, before wincing out in pain.
"I am sorry."
He gave you frown, "Why?"
"I dragged you into all this mess, and now you are hurt. It was my mess to deal with and I involved you in it, for that I am sorry."
"You didn't do anything, I decided to be here and while I didn't expect it to turn out this way, I'm glad." He gave you a reassuring smile, cracking a little bit when the pain kicked in once again.
"You are a moron."
He giggled, "Yeah I might be, but I also know about who feels like an even bigger idiot." He sighed, "We had a little bit of a talk, and turns out he is aware of the problem; he owns it completely and is willing to try to make things better, but…"
He hesitated.
"I'm not sure about what you want."
You sighed, shaking your head "To be quite honest I don't know. I mean, I still love him, he's not a bad person and I'm sure he still loves me, but…"
"But…"
"But I'm not sure if it's the best thing to jump into it right away, maybe we should go back a few steps, you know?"
"I completely understand, and I know he will too. Just talk to him, he loves you enough to give you time and space, or to let you go if that's what you want."
Nodding, "I don't want him out of my life."
"And that won't happen but for now tell him how you feel, it'll be okay."
"Hey, Kuroo?"
"Yeah?"
"When we first met, you talked about going through the same situation, care enough to explain?"
"Fuck, I did talk about that huh? Well, let's just say I was taken for granted, treated like shit and I went through this spiral of lies and obsessive thoughts that emotionally destroyed me, that made me doubt myself, my friends and every single thing I believed in." He rubbed his hands, looking out the ground, "When I got out of it I felt so empty and dead on the inside I genuinely considered never dating again; it might sound like an overreaction, but I was so numb to the entire world I didn't think love was worth anything. And then, someone came in and made me realise that maybe, just maybe it wasn't my fault, it was my abuser's fault, that I wasn't at fault for giving my all to someone who just drained me, they helped me and now here we are." He looked into your eyes, "Sometimes I wonder if the trauma would have healed faster if they had appeared while I was still in that hell, instead of after. That´s why I felt the urge to help you, and while Ushijima is nowhere an asshole as my ex was, you were hurting and I hated seeing it."
"Kuroo…" Tears filled your eyes, threatening to fall.
"Oh common, please don't cry, I'm on the other side now and everything's okay."
"Do I know them?"
"Huh let's see, they are just as weird as you, but a little bit less annoying I guess." You groaned in annoyance, "I'm kidding, but yes you do know them."
"Aren't you going to tell me?" Before you could continue complaining the nursery's office door opened, and here he was, the giant, buffed, airheaded man you called your boyfriend.
Standing up you met his gaze, there was no coldness in it, no hate, no malice, just pure longing and regret, and your hurt couldn't help but clench. Taking his hand in between yours, you caressed it, making him shiver.
"Don't worry, Toshi. We'll be okay."
"So you want to break up?" He furrowed his eyebrows, his hands felt clammy and his breathier became a bit quicker.
"Not quite like that, I think we jump into a relationship way too quickly, we barely even knew each other and even if we have been in this for some months now, we are not working out as we should."
"I will try harder, I swear," He mumbled.
"And I know you will, I trust you to do it, but how about we make our priorities the things we love right now? Like you win those nationals and I focus on getting into university?"
"I didn't know having me impeded your education."
"It's not, but I want to know what's like to look out only for me, to know I'm not chasing anyone, just for a little while."
He nodded, didn't say a word for a few minutes, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel as if you were chasing me. I missed my chance and I understand it. Know that I still love you and will keep on doing it, and I respect your decision of letting things between us end." He vowed and turned around, not sure how to processed what just happened.
"Ushijima." "Yes?" Locking your arms around his waist, looking straight into his eyes and caressing the side of his face, "I am not letting you go, I can't. This is just for me to be able to heal, but I still love you Wakatoshi, please don't forget that."
His arms surrounded your waist, leaning his head against the crook of your neck and nodding, his body shaking slightly "Okay."
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Text
Can You Get Enough Of Me? - Michael Myers x Reader
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"It's a nice day today, huh?" Y/N smiled up at the sky as she went back and forth in the swing. "Will you push me, Mickey?" "Sure." he shrugged as he got off his own swing and went behind her, pushing her the best he could. "Look, Mickey, I'm flying! Whooooo!" the little girl giggled without a care in the world, as Michael watched her long, beautiful hair going everywhere. "Okay, okay, I wanna swing too!" but before the girl could take her time and stop swinging, a bunch of older boys came by and roughly grabbed the chains holding the swing, which in turn, made the girl fall off and get hurt. "Y/N!" Michael gasped as he ran to her side, helping her up, and seeing the blood seeping from one of her legs and arm. "Aww, Myers's got a giiirlfriend! Look at them, gonna fuck? Girl, don'tcha know, Myers's a faggot?" the gang hollered maliciously, and Y/N could only frown, despite the tears of pain from her injuries, and clinging on Michael for support, she got up and yelled at the boys. "Leave Michael alone, jerks! You're rude!" but instead of trying to fight them off, or go in a brawl, she grabbed her friend's arm and dragged him away from there, knowing that if he were to get in trouble again, he'd get some bad detention, and that's the last thing she'd want. Besides...Two kids couldn't possibly fight those guys. "Why didn't you let me fight them?! I could've taken them on!" the blond boy glared at his friend, who only rolled her eyes and sighed at his childishness. "No, you couldn't. Besides, if the teachers find out you got in trouble again, who knows what will happen? Come on, let's go to the fountain, I have to wipe off the blood." Y/N muttered, going on ahead to sit on the rocks by the fountain and took out her handkerchief from her little bag, dipping it in the water and carefully wiping away the red liquid streaming down her limbs, hissing from the pain here and there, but otherwise, staying completely silent. "I'm sorry..." the girl suddenly heard the blond boy mutter, barely audible. "Huh? What do you have to be sorry about, Mickey?" as her eyes widened from the shock, she leaned forward, raising his chin up with her finger. "...I couldn't protect you. I suck. I'm as bad as that fuckass says I am..." he sighed, gently pulling away her hand and looking away from her. "Look at what they did to you. Could've been much worse. And yet, you stood up for me, while I did nothing. I'm a horrible friend." his voice was pitiful, and it was obvious he hated his lack of strength. "First of all, you aren't just my friend. You're my BEST friend. Okay? And nothing in this world will change that. Got it? Okay. Second of all, we're still little and weak. That's how kids are. Trying to fight those guys is like trying to fight the forces of nature...You...You can't fight a hurricane, you know? And...Violence isn't the answer. I mean...Look at our parents. There's nothing good coming out of that...But someday! Someday we'll get older and stronger, and nobody will bully us anymore! It just...It takes a while...I guess." she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly, trying to comfort him. "That's shit! They'll see, they'll ALL pay for it! Nobody will dare be fuckers with us anymore! And when I grow up, I will make sure everyone is nice to you." he was so revolted, but his anger gradually dissipated as he felt her warmth. "Please don't speak like that. Calm down, Mickey. Things are okay now. At least we have each other, and we will always have each other, don't forget that, okay?" she leaned her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes for a while, only to hear an aggressive male voice booming through the park which made the girl yelp and tremble in fear. "GET AWAY FROM THAT FREAK, Y/N! GET HERE RIGHT NOW!" her father yelled at her and she could only whimper silently, trying to stop herself from hyperventilating. "B-But daddy, Michael is not bad...! H-He tried to protect me from those mean boys from the playground!" she spoke meekly, slowly walking in front of her father, her head hung in fear, only for the man to burry his hand in
her hair, pulling on it roughly, making the girl yelp in pain. "Don't talk back to me, you stupid little bitch! You have no right to go against what I say while you're under MY roof, got it? Home, now." Michael couldn't even retaliate in any way, knowing that if he were to cause trouble for her, she would get in even more trouble, and that's the last thing he'd want...But why did it have to be her...?
He can take it, alright...But her...That's just not acceptable. She is small, and weak, and frail, and innocent...And there is nobody who can protect her.
Nobody but him...
----
"Michael, Michael, are we going trick or treating today?" Y/N asked, skipping around him in her cutesy witch costume, while he was a boring clown. "I guess." he shrugged, pulling down his clown mask. "Come on, it's Halloween, Mickey! You love Halloween! It's your favourite holiday! And we get free candy! It's gonna be fuuun~!" she bumped him with her body, making him stumble a bit, before looking at her and groaning. "Fine, fine, we're going. I just have to tell my mum." he grabbed her wrist and dragged her to his house, but on the way, she stopped him. "Hey, how about we trick or treat all the houses on the way to yours? I mean, there's nothing bad in that, right? We're just going home! It's not even considered a detour!" Y/N grinned widely, her beautiful eyes sparkling with excitement. "...Okay, let's do that." as he said that, Michael took out his candy bag from his schoolbag and taking her hand, they went to all house from both sides of the street. "Trick or Treat!" they both exclaimed as the first grandma opened the door with a loving look on her face. "Ahh, my, my, how cute you two are! And what do we have here...A very adorable, magical witch! And...A funny clown! How lovely!" the woman clapped her hands together to her chest, admiring the two kids. "Ma'am, he's not just a clown, he is my jester! Isn't he so cute?" she threw her arms around his neck, slamming his face to hers as she grinned even wider, making the woman laugh at them. "Yees, yes, I understand! Here, darlings, you're so adorable, take all of these. Hope to see you two, cuties, next year as well! Have fun!" the grandma patted both their heads before going back to her home. "Wiiicked! Look how much candy we've got! My fave holiday is Christmas, but honestly, Halloween is a very close runner up! Our teeth will literally rot after this!" the girl giggled as she inspected each variety of candy in her bag, "I love it 'cause I can spare people." Michael shrugged simply, but he also munched on some candy corn. "Would you scare me, Mickey?" Y/N turned her face to his, her eyes widening with a glimmering, innocent curiosity. "...No. I wouldn't. But you're the only one, okay?! Everyone else, I'd scare!" he tried to sound scary and dangerous, but it only made the little girl giggle and kiss his cheek. "You're my hero! My handsome knight in shining armour, Mickey! Thank you for protecting me. You're the best." help his soul, he wasn't used to people saying good things about him... "...But I'm ugly...That's why I wear a mask so often..." he muttered, looking down at the ground. "No! That's so not true! You're very pretty, okay? I love your face! And you have the most gorgeous eyes in the world! And...And...And your hair is so lovely, I'm jealous! Please don't say bad things about yourself, Mickey, it makes me very upset." she pouted, hugging him tightly, and it was pretty clear neither of them wanted to let go. "You won't leave me, would you, Y/N?" Michael's low voice came out barely above a whisper, but it was the only time he ever allowed himself to show any kind of weakness or vulnerability. "Never. Some day, we will be together forever, okay?" she ruffled his hair playfully, which made his face flush softly. "Hey, actually...Here you go. This is yours now. This way, if you're ever lonely, you'll remember I'm always thinking of you, okay?" Y/N grinned sweetly at him as she took off her flower-charmed necklace and put in on him, hiding it under his costume, so nobody else could see it. "Mum gave this to me on my birthday, before she died. It means the world for me, and so do you. So...Don't forget that, okay? I hope you'd smile more, you have a very pretty smile." as she said that, she squished his chipmunk cheeks.
The boy said nothing - What was he supposed to do, anyway? He was overwhelmed entirely by the only person who makes him feel...Good? But he had to go home, and he already knew that home was hell, and by the time he went there, he knew he wouldn't actually be going trick or treating, as promised...And he'd have to let Y/N down again.
Stupid family.
With a very disappointed voice, he went outside of the house and told the girl that he can't go trick or treating with her, but instead of yelling or disappointment, she just smiled and hugged him.
"It's alright! There's always next year! And besides, we already kinda went trick or treating, right? Sweet dreams, Mickey! Take care!" she waved at him cheerfully and skipped back home.
But little did she know that would be the last Halloween they'd spend together, for that night, a massacre happened at his home, and deep down, Y/N knew.
She just...Knew.
It was Michael who created that blood bath. He couldn't take all that abuse anymore, and Y/N understood that well enough...And she hated herself for thinking this, but she knew she was selfish...
If Michael didn't kill his family, they'd still have been able to hang out daily, and laugh together, lick each other's wounds, and go trick or treating on Halloween...
But she had to be happy with visiting him at Smith's Grove institute weekly with his mum, and they'd chat, and talk, and try to get him out of the shell that he hid himself into...
And he wouldn't stop hiding his face behind his masks, every week, a new one, a new one, and a new one, each time, weirder and creepier and grotesque.
No matter what his mother told him, and no matter what Y/N told him...Michael didn't listen, and the more time he spent there, the less he spoke...Until he hasn't said a word to Y/N in at least two weeks. It made the poor girl tear up, fearing that he hated her, but at least he'd shake his head and clutch his shirt where the gifted necklace would be.
And she would understand.
His mother was confused, and the Dr. was confused as well, but Y/N wasn't, and she'd smile at him and wouldn't explain what happened. It was their little secret, and nobody would be able to be made aware of.
And then...After many weeks of visiting, Michael stuck again and killed a nurse, which led to his mother committing suicide, and since she had nobody to go with to visit him, the last thing she could do was send in letters weekly, hoping they will be given to him, but she had no way of knowing, since nobody wanted to tell her anything, and no reply came by.
Until she gave up writing, thinking that Michael actually hated her, and decided to go on with her life, and her father made her move away to another state to get better education.
15 years passed, and the now 27 year old Y/N was a University graduate who worked hard and was able to get her old home in Haddonfield...To think she'd finally be able to go there again, she never would have thought that.
But here she was, having found a nice, well-paying job, and she was pretty happy, albeit nostalgic, being again back...Home. By the time she returned, she had already learnt how to play the guitar too, so every Friday night, she'd sit on her porch and play a song, softly singing along, hoping not to disturb anyone.
"I was made for lovin' you baby, you were made for loving me..." she hummed, singing the song by Kiss as she looked up at the starry night with no care in the world.
It was a simple life, but it was good and peaceful - And she had quite a lot of money to do with as she pleases - What else could ask for?
"BREAKING NEWS! A psychiatric patient from Smith's Grove escaped just last night and -..." but Y/N didn't bother hearing the rest of it, because...Because... "Michael...!" she gasped, covering her mouth with both her hands from the shock, tears threatening to fall and she goes outside, looking around, left and right, down the street, hoping to see a glimpse of the blond boy she once held so dear to her heart.
And what a coincidence, tomorrow night was Halloween...Did he do it on purpose? Did he even remember the days they spent together? Or how special Halloween was for him? Did he still have that silly necklace with him? Did he ever read her letters?
So many questions that she was pretty sure she'll never get an answer to, and that thought alone killed her.
The next day, she dressed in her Kiss loose Tshirt, remembering how that was Michael's favourite band, and somewhere in her heart, she hoped to see him again, even just by a little bit. Even a glimpse at his beautiful blue eyes would be enough.
But she knew she was dreaming...
She went to work as usual, but she was so busy that she didn't realise she ended up overstaying and overworking herself until she left the place and realised it was already dark outside, and there were barely any children trick or treating - But hey, there still were a few - And Y/N couldn't help but smile and remember the cute witch and her loyal jester.
The good times...
As she hummed carefree and looked up at the starry sky, but then she heard a crack, and looking back...Nothing? Hmm...Suspicious... She continued walking, but the ominous feeling in the back of her head continued, and so, she took out her pocket mirror and noticed a man somewhere in the back, walking towards her. A colleague from work, she recognised him, yes, she remembers him. He was kicked out from the job because of his inappropriate behaviour...And him following her now truly was no good news.
Analysing the situation, she realised she was close enough to home to make a break for it, so taking a deep breath, she sprinted the hell out of there...But...things didn't go as expected.
Before she could even reach her home, for she was pushed to the ground and straddled, his hands immediately finding their way around her neck, trying to immobilise her, to stop her from struggling and let him have his way with her.
But Y/N was a fighter, and she didn't want to allow the bullying she experienced as a child to take over her adult life, but she also didn't have the body strength to go against this guy, no matter how much she tried to struggle.
However...Before she knew it, the man stopped - Almost as if he froze - And she was splattered with liquid. It was blood. The man above her was stabbed in the chest, then in the head continuously, before his body was snatched and tossed away like a ragdoll.
Great - Y/N thought - From one criminal to another, with a whimper, she tried to get up and run away, but the man was too fast for her, and he picked her up with a weird ease, getting her inside her own house and letting her fall down on her couch.
The man saw fear in her eyes, and she was whimpering, her head hung as she tried to make herself as small as possible - As if she wasn't already so small, especially compared to him - It was pissing him off, as he remembered her jackass father abusing her. He would never hurt her! He promised her he'd always protect her, so why is she so scared of him...?!
"E-Excuse me...Uhm...Mister...A-Are you...Maybe...Uhmm...Are you Michael...?" she stuttered in such a meek voice that it grated his brain. This isn't right, Y/N was cheerful and happy. This...This wasn't right... The man got a hand underneath the neck of his blouse, only to reveal the old flower necklace from long ago. "Michael...! It really is you...Michael...I can't believe it! Oh my God...You grew up so much, this is insane!" as if a switch turned inside her, the girl jumped on her couch and threw herself on the incredibly tall man, not caring whether he liked it or not.
He was her Michael, and she missed him.
"You still don't talk, do you? Well...At least take off this mask of yours. I told you, I hate it when you hide yourself from me. I want to see your beautiful face." she chuckled, pulling Michael down with her on the couch, as he stood with his hands mid-way in the air, rather awkwardly, before finally pulling up his old mask and threading with it with his hands that were laying on his lap. "There we go, as beautiful as ever." she chuckled softly as she parted his long, dirty blond hair and letting it fall down his back, so his face could properly be seen. "Oh my God, you even have a stubble. I can't believe it. Well, we are all grown up after all, aren't we? Seems like almost yesterday when we'd go trick or treating...On this very day." she kept talking of the nostalgic things from so long ago, so much that it made Michael grunt in amusement, but his face didn't sketch any emotion. It really upset Y/N, it felt like talking to a wall. "Well, at least I'm happy that you remember me. I didn't think you did. I kinda thought you hated me too, I didn't know if you got any of my letters either. Uhm...I don't really know what to say. It's weird talking to myself like that. But I'm happy to see you again." she continued speaking before stopping altogether and fidgeting awkwardly on her spot next to him, as he didn't even move, or bother saying a single word.
They stood like that for a while, until Michael suddenly started moving, and revealed a bunch of unopened letters - All from her.
"You have all of them...!" Y/N gasped in shock, taking the letters and examining all of them one by one. "Why didn't you open them?" but instead of an answer, he shook his head. "Did you...Not have them...Until recently?" Y/N tried to guess, and the answer came in the form of a nod. "That stupid doctor! How dare he?! ...You must have felt so lonely stuck there...With your mum shooting herself, I couldn't go there anymore, so I sent you letters weekly...The doctor promised to give them to you...Urgh, what a jerk. And I thought you hated me and that's why you didn't want to reply to them...But you just got them. How annoying." Y/N groaned, realising the truth of what happened, and she let the letters fall down on the coffee table.
After some more silence between the two, Michael pointed towards her shirt, and she smiled, nodding and taking her guitar before leaning on his side. "Yeah, I know it's your favourite band. I never forgot that." she chuckled, and as she started playing the same song she knew so well - And she felt a strong arm sneaking around her waist, pulling her closer to his body. It surprised her a bit, but she felt so safe and warm in his embrace.
"I was made for lovin' you baby, you were made for lovin' me. And I can't get enough of you, baby..." she sang in the same sweet, crystalline, soft voice that he loved so much, and missed over the many years they've been separated.
"...Can you get enough of me?"
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athensgorgia · 3 years
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Jealous Gojo x female reader
Summary: Gojo is running all your dates with potential partners. He just doesn't know why yet.
Warnings: Mature language and suggestive themes
Gojo was sitting next to you.  Why the fuck was he sitting next to you.  For the first time in your life you had a date and Gojo decided to tag along.  "Get the fuck out of here before my date gets here or so help me god I will kill you!" you seethed.  Gojo payed your threats no mind flagging down a waiter "I want whatever cake you have.  What about you y/n-chan?" he asks nonchalantly.  "I want you to leave." you say in an exasperated tone.
     "Now, now y/n-chan.  We can't have that now can we?  What if he's a total wierdo?" Gojo insists.  "You're the one who is being wierd!  I didn't even tell you I was on a date!  How did you even know!?" you cried.  "Well when something is really important I make it my business to know what is going on.  Especially when it comes to my little  y/n-chan."  Gojo explains ruffling your done up hair afterwards.  "Ugh, I'm not a little kid anymore you have to start letting me go." you sigh.
     You think you've finally gotten through to Gojo.  He turns to you and sighs.  "That lipstick is so not your color." Gojo scoffs.  Gojo then takes his hand and starts forcibly rubbing his thumb on your lips to remove the makeup.  You Immediately start trying to slap his hand away, but him being the strongest it was no use. 
     Right then your date walks in and finds you and Gojo.  Gojo's hands still resting on your face smearing lipstick everywhere.  You instantly muster all your strength and shove Gojo off of you.  "Hiro, hi it's good to see you!" you greet your date awkwardly.  Hiro puts on a very confused face.  "Hi, who is this y/n" Hiro asks.  "He's nobody and he was just leaving." you insist and give Gojo a face that says 'beat it'. 
     Gojo cracks a sinister smile.  "So Hiro, how much money do you make per year?" Gojo prods.  You go to hit Gojo but your hands just bounce off of him.  Hiro looks very nervous and stays silent.  "I was just wondering what redeeming qualities you have since attractiveness clearly isn't one of them." Gojo prattles on.  Hiro turns to you "Sorry I don't think this is going to work out." Hiro says not even waiting for an excuse and rushes out.
     You place your head in your hands trying to recuperate from the fiasco that just unfolded.  When you look at Gojo he's happily eating his cake not at all ashamed at what he had done.  "Why would you do that?  That's the first time anyone has ever even wanted to ask me out." you say too defeated to yell.  "Oh it's definitely not the first time.  This is just the first time I haven't assessed them beforehand." Gojo states casually continuing to munch on his cake.
     "What!?" you gasp in disbelief.  "Oh you know I've just been really busy so I couldn't get around to it this time." he shrugs.  "Not that stupid the thing you said before!" you seethed.  "I'm not just gonna let anyone date you.  I have to make sure they're good enough for you.  I have to do alot of research.  It's very tiring you know.  You should really thank me.  The least you could do is pay for my cake." Gojo huffs mouth full of cake.
     "Oh my god..." you whimper and run your hands through your hair.  "It makes so much fucking sense." you cry.  "Don't cry over that guy!  He was as interesting as a piece of white bread."  Gojo says with gusto trying to cheer you up.  "FUCK YOU!   I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE BECAUSE OF YOU!" you screech and then storm out.
     "And that's why I need you to date her for me!" Gojo chimes.  Nanami takes a deep breath "I'm not going along with this game of yours." he sighs.  "Aw c'mon!  She's a great girl.  You won't find anyone better than her." Gojo pleads.  "Find someone else it doesn't have to be me." Nanami deflects.  "Yes it does Nanami!  I can only let her date in good conscience if I know the person is good." Gojo insists.  "Find someone else then there are tons of people better than me." Nanami states flatly.
     "No Nanami you're perfect.  You're young, handsome, responsible, make a decent living, and have a nice dick.  I know because I peaked in the urinal." Gojo says proudly.  Nanami was disgusted with Gojo's hidden knowledge and wanted to flee as fast as possible.  "Fine one date." Nanami sighs already regretting his decision.
     Gojo waited outside the door of your apartment and kept banging on the door.  "Hi y/n!  I know you're still mad at me but I have a piece offering!" Gojo announces.  "Go away!  I'm still mad at you!" you yell through the door.  "I can make it up to you!  I got you a date with the best guy I know!" Gojo promises.  You open the door "What!?  When!?" you ask very confused.  "Right now.  Go get ready!" Gojo urges you to hustle.
     You get ready as fast as you can and bolt out the door with Gojo.  The walk there was stressing you out.  You had no idea what kind of person Gojo set you up with all Gojo sad was 'the blond one with glasses'.  On your way there Gojo walked arm in arm with you making sure you didn't trip in your heels and assuring you looked great.
     When you reached the front of the restaurant Gojo pushed you through the door and waved goodbye.  You were nervous, very nervous as you scanned each table to find your blind date.  Till you spotted a serious looking man matching Gojo's description.  You walked over and introduced yourself "Hello I'm y/n l/n.  I think Gojo Satoru set us up together." you said.  The man stood up from his seat and held his hand out for you to shake it.  "I'm Nanami Kento." He says formally as you shake his hand.
     "Have you been waiting long?" you ask genuinely concerned about how long Gojo made Nanami wait.  "I've been waiting two hours, but I know that's not your fault." Nanami replies coolly.  "I'm sorry he's always been like that.  He must have also dragged you here for a date." you apologize.  "No worries.  Your a pretty and polite young woman.  I'm glad he's found someone like you." Nanami says and flashes the ghost of a smile.
     "What do you mean?" you ask not quite sure what Nanami was referring to.  "Gojo's always going on and on about you.  I'm not even sure he realizes how in love with you he is." Nanami chuckles.  "No, he doesn't like me like that.  He's got pretty much all of Japan to choose from if he even wanted a partner." you say trying to shut Nanami down.  "That's precisely why he likes you.  He's just a regular man to you.  You don't care if he's rich or handsome or strong.  With you he can be whatever he wants.  I bet you've even gotten him to share sweets with you." Nanami explains.
     "No.  That can't be." you say more to yourself than to Nanami.  "Yes it is.  He's an extremely busy man but he makes time to spend with you.  Who do you think is always covering for him?" Nanami sighs hoping you'd understand by now.  Nanami looks at his watch "Any moment now he's going to realize his feelings and storm in like the man child he is.  Don't say anything one he walks in just go with it." Nanami says and as if on que Gojo walks in.
     "Date's over Nanami.  I've decided she can do better." Gojo says as he stomps over to your table.  "Why, I really like her.  I'm even considering marrying her one day." Nanami bluffs.  "No, you're not right for her." Gojo hisses and pulls you out of your chair.  Nanami stands up "Then who is?" Nanami prods trying to get Gojo to admit it.  "I am!  She's mine!" Gojo yells and holds you close to his chest causing an even bigger scene in the restaurant.
     Gojo processes what he just said and carries you out of the restaurant.  Suddenly Gojo teleports you somewhere and when you look around you recognize that this is Gojo's appartment.  Gojo says nothing and just continues walking in the direction of his bedroom.  "Gojo slow down!  Where are we going!?" you protest.  Gojo doesn't answer and continues walking to his bedroom's adjoining bathroom.  He sets you down on the counter.
     "Take your makeup off." Gojo demands.  "What?  Why?" you ask desperate for answers.  Gojo doesn't answer he just grabs a wet towel and starts scrubbing your face.  "Ow that hurts!" you protest, but Gojo continues scrubbing your face too hard.  After your makeup is off Gojo smiles and drags you over to his bed.  He pushes you down and straddles your waist.
     "What are you doing!?" you scream.  "Oh c'mon y/n isn't it obvious or do I have to tell you exactly what I'm going to do to you?" Gojo whispers in your ear.  "No!" you yell as you push him off of you with all your strength.  Gojo falls and lands on his butt looking utterly confused.  You gather yourself and begin leaving.  Gojo grabbed your arm to stop you "Wait... please." he said hesitantly.  "Why should I  you just tried to fuck me like some whore?" you hissed.
     Gojo stayed silent gathering what he was about to say "Isn't that just how I make you mine?" he questions.  "No that might work on some people but that's not how you make me yours." you state.  Gojo gives you a dumb stare.  He was utterly shocked.  No one had ever not wanted to sleep with him, and if he couldn't win you over with his body then his personality sure wasn't going to win you over.  Gojo broke into a cold sweat he wanted you like no one he had ever wanted before and for once in his life what he desired was out of his reach.
     He wracked his brain for something people usually wanted from him.  "I know!  You're like Mie Mie!  I'll just give you money!  How much do you want?" Gojo asks cheerfully but he was not joking this time he was dead serious.  You looked at him appalled and continued walking out.  "Wait!  Wait! Wait!" he pleaded desperately.  You only stopped when he got down on his knees in front of you "Please!  Just tell me how I get you to love me!" he begged. 
     You had to admit you liked seeing Gojo beg for you, but now was not the time for that.  You tilted his chin so he was lookingup at you "You promise you love me?" you smiled.  Gojo nodded his head  frantically.  "Then I'll pick you up tomorrow at six?" you winked and left.  Leaving an awestruck Gojo in your wake.
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turtle-go-brrrr · 3 years
Text
4 times Leonardo was a dork and the time he wasn’t
Heya! I adore the "strong stoic character does something embarrassing or dumb" trope, and Leo has been left behing from that one. Also, my fervent Leo Simp Friend said these were all good ideas and I trust his judgment completely, so it's also for him. Enjoy, you Dork-ass Looser (affectionate) @weird-flex-but-ok
I have one of these "4 times ______ and 1 time ______" stories for each of them, I just got really inspired by him all of a sudden. But they're coming!
There might be a few typos here and there, but I really don't wanna wait any longer to post it :3
Requested: No
Pairing: None, platonic
Word count: 2500 +
Triggers: cursing, injuries, blood, intrusion
Summary: You were always sort of intimidated by the leader in blue, but a series of events shows you he might not be as serious as he wants you to think.
__________________________________________
First time
It took you a while to get along with all of them.
Not because you didn't trust them, or because they made it difficult, and certainly not because they're mutants. You're just not that good with new people, and you tend to shy away. Especially when you have New York's heroes in front of you.
So yeah. It took a while. But soon enough, you warmed up to your new friends, and you had a great time. Mikey was the first who made you feel welcomed, always asking questions about you and insisting you came to the lair in the first place. Donnie followed soon, after you started asking about what he was working on. It took a bit more work to get closer to Raph, but it turns out sarcasm was the way to go.
If only their leader was as approachable.
He never made you feel unsafe or unwelcomed, don’t get me wrong, he just kept a professional distance with you, which started to become quite painful as time went on. You tried not to take it personally, thinking he maybe was as shy as you were.
You had time anyway.
It was early in the evening when you made your way to the lair. For the first time since you met the turtles, you went there alone. You were a little nervous, thinking you might get lost in the maze of tunnels under the city, but figured you could just call someone if anything happened. Lucky for you, you found your way to your friend’s place, but not without hustle.
As you entered, you realized it was uncharacteristically quiet. The only sounds you could here were the faint music and the not so faint curses from Donatello’s lab. The smart decision seemed to be leave him alone, which is exactly what you did.
You haven’t been here long enough to know where to find the others, and as you didn’t exactly felt like staying alone in the living space, you tried finding your way to the dojo, as it was one of the other places you knew well.
Of course, now you got lost. Venturing into the sewers was fine, but walking into your friend's home wasn't, apparently.
You found something else, however. This particular tunnel led to a room you could identify as someone's room. You could see the large bed in the middle of the room, a small table with a bottle of water, a book, and a makeshift alarm. A set of twin swords were hanging on the right wall, just above a small bookshelf.
On your left was another table with a (healthy, you noted) bonsai tree, and next to that was Leonardo, facing a mirror. He had his right arm lifted up to his head, and was looking right to you through the mirror.
He looked absolutely horrified.
What the fuck.
He slowly rubbed his face in his hands, let out a long sigh, and turned to you, more tense than you've ever seen him. He cleared his throat as you pince your lips in a thin line to hold back a smile.
"Hello, Y/N. I... didnt think you'd come in so early."
Despite the badly lit room, you can see him bite the inside of his cheek.
"Yeah, uh, I didnt mean to... interrupt you," you say. Your voice is slightly shaking as it takes all of your willpower not to burst out laughing. And he definitely notices.
"You didn't! I uh, wasn't doing anything anyway. So, tell me- what brings you to the lair?" He asks, avoiding your eyes.
"Oh, Mikey invited me, he said I wasnt allowed to skip on movie night. You know how strong willed he is," you smirks, unable to handle it much longer.
Stiff as a board, you see the corner of his mouth twitching and hear him whisper, "... I wasn't flexing."
Silence.
You snort laugh hard enough to choke on it as you quickly turn around to hold yourself against the wall, the insanity of the situation crashing on you. Leo sat at the foot of his bed, head in his hands, and you could see him shake in repressed laughter once you wiped your tears away.
You sit next to him after finally calming down from the hysteria. He sighs, straightens his back and gives you a side glance.
"I'm not judging."
"You're still laughing, though."
"Yeah, but like, I guess I just wasn't expecting that. Still not judging."
He nods, still smiling. His voice is at least 3 octaves higher when he asks, "Please, don't tell the others."
"And what, give them the privilege of knowing about your little... ritual? Nah, don't worry about it."
_______________________
Second time
The second time your assumptions about the leader were subverted happended only two weeks after the... incident.
You had invited the whole crew to your place for the very first time, and they were all excited to come. You made a copious dinner: a few veggie cakes, chicken wings and a bowl of roasted potatoes. They were supposed to bring the drinks and movies, and April and Casey were in charge of the desert.
A perfect night, it seemed.
And it would have been if they could decide what to watch first without jumping at each other's throats.
"You guys need to grow up."
"Leave me out of thi-"
"Donnie's suggesting Velocipastor of all things and you think we need to grow up? Come on, Y/N, I thought you were better than that."
"Okay, first of all, how dare you. And second, this movie's a masterpie-"
"Yeah, because everyone knows that his supremior intellect means he's the only one who gets to choose a dumb movie. Why won't you guys watch Sharknado?"
"Supremior isn't a word. And it's because unlike you, peasants, I have taste." A devilish smile creeps up Donnie's face. The bastard is doing it on purpose.
"Peasants?!"
"You ugly-ass son of a-"
"Hey! Leave Dad out of this!"
"We could watch Shrek instead?"
You decided to go get some glasses in the kitchen, leaving the children to their stupid fight. Searching through your cupboard, you hear a crashing sound, quickly followed by utter and complete silence.
Oh no.
In insight, leaving them alone was maybe not the best idea. You were reconsidering bringing glasses into the mess as you made your way to the origin of the sound. And what a mess it was.
Your friends were all expressing shock in some way, Casey (surprisingly) being the most dramatic of them all with his hands right in front of his face and his jaw hanging open. They were all looking back and forth between you and another direction near the table.
The really cool bowl that held the delicious potatoes you made was broken on the floor. There was glass and potatoes everywhere, but the biggest shards were in a neat pile, right behind Leonardo, who looked like a deer in headlights.
"... nothing happended."
"I'm... starting to think it's a habit of yours," you say as you watch him not so discretely try to hide the broken pieces behind his foot.
"Look, if you keep putting your foot in there you're gonna hurt yourself. Just, step away a bit, will you?"
"I'm sorry I broke it. Let me help you clean up, I don't want you to cut yourself."
"It's okay! Don't touch it, I'll get a bag," you say as he starts to gather the biggest shards.
Won't even listen for one second, will he?
Raph was already picking up the untouched potatoes to put them in the plates on the table, and April went to the kitchen with you to retrieve the bag and cleaning supplies.
"Ew, Mikey don't eat that."
"Thirty seconds rule, baby."
"It's five seconds, you moron. And it's way over thirty anyway. Spit it out."
The rest of the night went on without further issues, but Leo still looked apologetic during the movie. Which is probably why he was standing before you as his brothers were leaving.
"Thank you for the evening. And I'm... sorry again for the bowl."
"Hey it's okay, man. Don't worry about it. As long as no one gets hurt it's not that big of a deal."
"I'll get you a new one." He doesn't wait for your answer and ruffles your hair before taking off.
"Text me when you guys get home!" You scream into the night, hoping one of them heard you.
______________________
Third time
It's surprisingly easy to mess with Fearless.
You were in the living room, getting your ass beat on Mario Kart by Mikey, when you decided to take a break for your stomach (and ego)’s sake. You made your way to the kitchen, where Leo and Raph were in a heated discussion. Raph looked
“I’m telling you, 4 inches is too small. What do you get from 4 inches ? Nothing. But 10 inches ? It really makes you feel something.”
What?
You looked down on the table and saw multiple ingredients lined up on the table, with a long piece of bread on the side.
Oh, sandwiches. Got it.
Leo’s back was facing you, but Raph gave you a knowing glance, one that said ‘do it’. So, you did. Not without a smirk, first.
“Oh, wow, Leo ! I didn’t think you’d be so open about that kind of conversations.” You open the fridge, hoping you can hide your smile behind the door.
“What ? What do you m-” His face falls. Raph starts chuckling next to you and it looks like Leo’s brain is rebooting. 
“I mean, I’m not judging. You do you, buddy, I’m happy for you. Just surprised you choose lunch time to talk about it.” And in other circumstances, you’d mean every word. But right now, messing with your friend is too good to pass on.
“No, hold on- I didnt mean- It’s not what you think ! I’m talking about sandwiches !” He tries to show you the ingredients currently on the table, but Raph decides it’s time to join the fun.
“Lying isn’t vey Bushido of you, Honor Boy,” he winks at you and you can’t repress a giggle.
He puts his face in his hands, knowing very well that the both of you ganged up on him but unable to save face. He just smiles, goes back on his chair and hides his head in his arms, hoping you won’t see how embarassed you made him.
“Hey, you like what you like. Have fun with your sandwiches.” You give him an innocent smile, pat him twice on the shoulder, and join Mikey back on the couch with a plate of grapes.
You could hear Raph’s light chuckle from the kitchen.
______________________
Fourth time
Mornings are hard.
And they’re even worse when you spent the whole night sewing an arm back together after a sword gave it a nasty cut. And getting glass shards off of your friend’s shell. And putting a bone back in it’s rightful place after a particularly bad fall.
Yeah. Long night. And a tense one, too.
Because with the physical pain came the chock and residual fears, the anger and blaming. Everyone was stil on guard, and all that tension was exhausting. You barely slept, too worried that one of your friend’s state would degrade if you didn’t keep an eye on them at all times. Which didn’t really help you get the rest you needed.
If you were hoping the morning would be kinder on all of you, you quickly realized that it was a mistake. While, luckily for the turles, the mutagen was already healing their physical wounds, the emotional exhaustion of the previous night was still heavy. Of all of your conscious friends, not one dared break the eerie silence.
It was weird, seeing them like this. But you couldn’t force yourself to say anything, strangely scared of what could happen. You resumed to making breakfast for everyone and bringing clean towels to the still sleeping feverish turtle in the medbay. Splinter and Mikey were at the kitchen table, quietly accepting your offering, when Leo came into the room from the medbay.
He was still half asleep, and in his drowsiness didn’t see the wall he accidentally ran into.
“Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there.”
Everyone turned to Leo, who it took a solid minute of staring blindly at the wall to realize what just happened.
Donnie was the first to laugh. It didn’t take long for april and Mikey to join, soon followed by Splinter affectionately patting his son’s arm. Leo smiled and shook his head, as their lighthearted laugh was contagious.
The leader in blue was more of a goofball than what you first expected, and you were grateful for it in the fading tensions of the morning.
______________________
One time he wasn't
When someone intrudes your home, especially at 4 am when you were sleeping in the next room, a lot of things go through your head.
Did they take anything?
Yes. Your bag with your wallet, some cash, your credit card, your ID, and a few fidelity cards from various stores. Your laptop. A set of keys. That one blanket Raph made you (probably to carry everything without making too much noise).
Why you?
Why not? Your apartment isn't isolated, but it's not exactly on a main street either. It was probably practical for them.
Were they armed?
Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. Probably. Statistically, most likely.
What could have happened if you had tried to confront them?
A lot of things. Maybe, if you let them know you were awake and knew what was going on, without necessarily confronting them, it would have been enough to make them run away. Or maybe there were multiple armed people, and they wouldn't hesitate to use force if necessary.
Who knows.
Can the police find this person?
Statistically? No. At least, that's what Casey told you when you asked him. Unless they got really lucky, they won't find anything.
Or at least the stuff they stole?
Again, unlikely. Unless they can trace your laptop back to the guy, or someone can give a physical description and a direction, there's not a lot they can do.
What can you do now?
Call your bank. And your insurance. And your landlord. Let them know what happened and follow their directive, they'll guide you through their procedure and help you soften the blow.
Casey was the first person you called when you woke up this night, and he was at your place within minutes with two other colleagues (the closest he could find). He spent the rest of the night reassuring you, helping you with the phone calls, asking around for witnesses, but nothing.
It's weird, feeling unsafe for the first time in a place you had called Home for years. It's disturbing. You can feel the nausea your anxiety is giving you, and a headache starts to grow at the back of your skull.
You don't really like this feeling.
So when your turtle friends dropped by the next evening without telling you and you welcomed them with a swing of your favorite pan, let's just say reactions were split.
"I can hack into your computer to find its location if you want. Wouldn't be the first time."
"What?"
"What? I mean, I didn't do it for your location last time. I know all about your search history, though."
"We're gonna have a talk about boundaries and privacy once we're done dealing with that," you sigh. You crash down on the couch next to your friend and mindlessly watch him work.
Leo comes up to you and gently nudges your shoulder. "Hey, do you have a toolbox somewhere? We brought locks to put on your door and windows. You know, just in case."
You nod, quiet, and lead him to your room where you keep most of the most useful stuff you own, including but not limited to a toolbox and a first aid kit.
Your movements were almost mechanical as you retrieved the box and handed it to him, and you decided to help him put up the locks to keep your mind occupied.
He was concerned. You looked like you were still in choc, which he could completely understand. Getting robbed is awful in itself, but getting robbed while you're sleeping in the next room? Horrific, in his mind.
He was also furious. He couldn't be there for you. This person had the nerves to go after his friend, and what if you got hurt? He wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.
He noticed he was staring when your eyes met his.
"Hey. We're gonna do whatever we can to find them. We're also gonna focus our patrols in your neighborhood for at least a few weeks, until you feel better," he puts a hand on your shoulder. "It's gonna be okay Y/N. Trust me."
You look up to him, and when you look into his eyes, you know he means it. You let your head fall against his plastron as he holds you against him, a silent promise for safety.
"Hey shorty," Raph pulls his head into the crack of the door to address you. "Wanna learn how to fight? I can turn you into a death machine."
You heard the faint "Raph, what the fuck" coming from Mikey who was still in the living room.
You gave a small laugh as you got up, Leo following you closely to the living room.
"Hey! Fighting isn't for everyone. But I could make you a really cool taser, if you want."
"What's with you and tasers?"
"They're efficient."
The bell ringed and April came in holding 4 boxes of pizza, that Mikey assisted her with as soon as she set a foot inside.
You looked around at your friends as April brandished the pizzas like a trophy while Raph and Donnie went back and forth trying to decide who, between man power and electricity, would win in a fight.
And you realized that yes, Leo was right.
It's gonna be okay.
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