James: Tell your brother that its important to talk about his feelings!!!
Sirius: pfft why?? Its not.
Regulus: SEE. We grew up just ignoring every feeling, and look how great we turned out!
James: THATS TRAUMA, YOU WERE REPRESSED-
Regulus: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY THAT ITS JUST MY PERSONALITY, MY LIFESTYLE-
James: YOUR TRAUMA-
Regulus: TRAUMA BUILDS CHARACTER JAMES
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When a character is assured enough in their own power that they are completely relaxed in dangerous situations??? When that same character becomes tense and uncomfortable in the mundane because they don't have a framework for peace?????? When they help navigate violence for another character and in return that character helps them navigate softness??????????? That's all, your honour
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09' Ghost, into his radio: "ROACH! ROACH! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?? RESPOND!"
09' soap:"how the hell is he going to respond when he can't fucking talk!"
09' Ghost :"he'll make someone else do it"
09' soap: "that's the stupidest thing I have heard all day."
A random man over their radios :"EAST HALLWAY! PLEASE I HAVE A WIFE AND KI-"*gunshot*
09' Ghost, with heart eyes:"see, I told you!"
09' Soap:
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Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*
Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.
———
Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: get the FUCK out of my car
———
Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it
Luke: And I started thinking
Luke: Like it was just trying to get food
Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck
Luke: How would I feel
Simeon: Are you okay???
———
Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".
Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.
Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!
———
Mammon: *flirts with MC*
MC: *flirts back*
Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?
———
Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??
Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...
MC: It was you the fuck
Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?
Beelzebub: He the fuck
———
MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?
Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young
MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart
Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-
———
Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.
———
Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*
M: *holds out hand to help*
Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*
———
Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.
Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.
Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.
———
Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?
Lucifer: Why?
Diavolo: Just curious
Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose
Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-
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Part 4 of You can’t bench me!
God I wish I could punch people instead of studying for exams. So close to the end yet so far ;-; . If you see spelling errors no you didn’t
Context:
Phantom has officially given up on his homework and joined the flock in fighting crime. How are you going to dad your way through this situation Red Hood? The rest of the batfamily is pulling out the popcorn for the inevitable meltdown and fight.
————————————————————
Red Robin: spinnn 🪩✨ ✨ bonk!!
Phantom: I have a gun and imma to make it everyone’s problem !!!!
————————————————————
Phantom: No. >:(
Red hood: …
RR&spoiler: OoOOOOooo someone’s in trouuuuubleeeeee!!!
Robin: what an idiot
————————————————————
Origin | part 3 | part 5
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