#not one. ONCE. did anyone ever mention the lgbtq community | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arliedraws · 3 months

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Did anyone ever send you spicy takes for literary analysis? If not, here's one: I wanna know where in the books people are getting the idea that in a boarding school in the UK in the '70s, MWPP and their classmates would ALL be some flavor of queer and also have the modern vocabulary to go with it.

I am still taking spicy takes! My week at work has been absolute chaos, so I haven’t had a chance to tackle some of these prompts yet.

But I’m going to push back a bit on ya (with love and respect, of course). Below the cut are some mentions of violence against LGBTQ+ folks, fyi.

No, I don’t think that the 1970s would have been a magical place full of openly queer teens with modern vocabulary (and weirdly cell phones?). But I do understand where it comes from. Imagine you’re a teen in 2024 where LGBTQ+ rights are being stripped away one by one in many western countries. Then imagine you’re a teen from the United States: you’re not 18 yet, you can’t vote, yet you are directly affected (or have friends who are) by anti-LGBTQ+ laws. Maybe you aren’t allowed to use a public restroom because you’re trans or maybe you have ultra-religious parents who would kick you out of the house if they found out you were gay or maybe there was a story circulating about a non-binary kid who was murdered by their peers in a bathroom at school…

So these things are all around you. You’re fifteen, and you feel absolutely powerless. Maybe you’re cut off from the queer community. Maybe you just wish there were a place where you could be around other queer teens who just GET you, who know what you’re going through. Okay, maybe you read Harry Potter when you were younger, and you find that there’s this fantasy world within the world of HP where the kids are cool and hot and wear whatever they want and say “fuck you, parents!” and they’re all in love with each other and at school, it’s all okay! The parents will never find out! This is the safe place!

While I have MANY critiques of this corner of fandom (the reinvention of heterosexuality with the hyperfeminization of Sirius and the hypermasculinization of Lupin, the blatant mischaracterization of MOST characters, etc.), I understand a young person’s hunger for it. It’s a fantasy. Plain and simple.

Do I personally find it more interesting to see what would happen if James and Sirius hooked up in an ultra-conservative pureblood society and were forced to confront internalized homophobia? YEAH. Is that an appealing story to someone who has to live that reality everyday? Ehhh…Maybe? Maybe not? It’s appealing to me because I like to explore human suffering lol. I love drama! I love complicated relationships. I love when fictional people love two people at once—I love MESSINESS (I love when they cheat! I love when they have miscommunication!). But here’s the difference—I am a thirty-something person who has a solid support system and acceptance within their community. I have the emotional space to accept complexities. Most teenagers do not have these things.

We have to remember that for everything an artist or writer creates, there’s an intent. Who is the audience? What is the effect on the reader of your stylistic choices? Is historical accuracy important to the overall message of the work? Does it detract from meaning/understanding?

My point is, sweet and beautiful Anon, you are probably right! There is plenty to critique (and I have complained about this side of the fandom before), but I accept that many young people are looking for community, and apparently this fandom created by a transphobic millionaire is where they found it.

#hp meta #asks

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if-whats-new · 3 hours

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What's New In IF? Issue 7 (2024)

By Erika, Marjorie, Axelle, and Noi

Now Available!

Itch.io - Google Drive - Keep Reading below

Did you know that you can learn a neat fun fact about IF on the itch.io version? You should check it out!!

EDITORIAL

On Pride...

Interactive Fiction is an incredible medium to convey meaning and messages. Easy(-ish) to use, widely accessible, and needing little to be shared, these pieces can reach far and wide. You could be posting on one side of the world and have someone on the complete opposite read it!

The rise of sharing LGBTQ+ experiences through IF is in large part thanks to programs like Twine, making that anyone can create things with without even coding languages. The works of Porpentine, Anna Anthropy, Christine Love are often seen as the major drivers for this movement.

There is an incredible wealth of queer art in Interactive Fiction.

Let's celebrate it!

We hope you enjoy this issue!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, AND NOI

EVENTS

CONFERENCE

You can now register for the Narrascope! It is happening June 21-23, in hybrid. They've also released the schedule of talks! And opened their game jam!

ONGOING (VOTING)

This edition of the 🔥 Fuck Capitalism Jam 2024 🔥 is ranked! You can help choose which entry actually embodies Anti-Capitalism the most, by voting on itch!

The Rayuela (Spanish IFComp) just ended and entered their voting period. If you are Spanish speaking, come check out the entries and vote!

ONGOING (SUBMITTING)

Ending tomorrow is the new bitsy jam! This edition's theme is: tomatoes!

Also ongoing is the ParserComp, which are looking for parser games, both with a classic feel or a more experimental approach.

If you are looking to make a Visual Novel, the Otome Jam will be looking for entries until July 1st. There is also the Josei jam running parallel to it.

While it is not IF-focused, the Anti-Romance Jam is once again looking for anti-romance submissions!

Love/Violence is another unranked game jam looking for entries dealing with Love and Violence and all the things in between (also accepts non IF)

The Neo-Twiny Jam is (@neointeractives) starting today! Every submission will help raise money for LBGTQ+ causes. It ends June 30th! Reach out to the organisers if you want to donate instead!

ENDED

The Text Adventure Literacy Jam just announced the winners of this fourth edition, whose games were the most parser beginner-friendly! Congratulations to all participants!

The REALLY BAD IF JAM, also ended last week, with 40 really bad interactive fiction games. Though some of them are actually really good!

Its visual novel counterpart, “Worst Ever VN“ Challenge, also ended just a few days ago! You may even see some entries reappear in the Fix-It Jam in a few weeks.

OTHER

The Interactive Fiction Showcase is still running! If you have completed an IF piece this year, consider submitting it! It is happening only on itch!

GAMES

NEW RELEASE

Instead of a competition, the Third Quadrennial Ryan Veeder Exposition for Good Interactive Fiction released Moondrop Isle, a large multi-authored parser game with lots of puzzles! (Axelle note: this is a big deal in the parser community!)

Don't forget about the cool games released in the events mentioned in the previous pages! There were a lot of really cool games

NEW RELEASE (WIP)

The Brightest Star (CScript) is a fantasy project where prophecies shape your fate but may be overturn (@brightest-stars-if).

Two Moons (Twine) is a high fantasy adventure project, where you are a monster hunter (@twomoons-if).

Why us? Why not? (Twine) is mystery puzzle project about a disappearance (@kessielrg).

GAMES UPDATES

The re-writing for Pillars of Lights (CScript) is ongoing, with the new Prologue released (@nothingherebutthefog).

Sins of the Crown (CScript) has completed its first path (@pariahinteractive).

Arceus: Awakening (CScript) included extra content in the demo.

Children of Iseir (CScript) added 30k more words to the demo.

Soulmates Inc (CScript) added 40k words to the demo (@soulmatesinc-if).

Drink Your Villain Juice (CScript) Patreon's update is not available to all (@drinkyourvillainjuice).

The demo of The Wayhaven Chronicles (CScript) Book Four has just been released (@seraphinitegames).

The Bastard Crown (CScript) completed its second chapter (@eddyiewriting).

First Bull Run (CScript) added extra content.

Crown of Exile (Twine) has released Part C of chapter 9 on Patreon (@ramonag-if).

We Wretched Creatures (CScript) added part 2 to Episode 4 (@darkfictionjude).

Oh My Clematis (CScript) has released its demo (@omc-if).

Midnight Bay (CScript) has released its demo (@midnight-bay-if).

Virtue’s End (CScript) has updated its Patreon demo (@virtues-end)

OTHER

The new edition of the Amare Fortnightly Bulletin (@amaregames) is out!

We apologize if we missed an update or a release. We are but volunteers trying to find as much info as possible, but sometimes news pass through the cracks.

Please, let us know if something should have been added to the zine, and we will shout it out next week!

HIGHLIGHT ON...

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonalds by Abigail Corfman (@abigailmoment - Twine)

Play as a vampire hunter on their day-off, planning on pampering themself, until… a vampire crosses their path. And for the good of everyone, they will have to get involved… or else.

recommended by [anonymous]

The Dream Alchemist by clarafayegames (@clarafayegames - Ren'Py)

“Art Nouveau beloved! One of the most gorgeous Otome VN I've ever played. It's so so pretty, and the ROs are just the best. It's so freaking magical and transcending! And DLCs are insane too!”

submitted by [anonymous]

The Little Match Girl by Ryan Vedeer (Inform)

The still ongoing series of parsers featuring the Little Match Girl, going from its original story to a series of silly adventures, and many different settings.

Light-hearted, fairly simple, and incl. walkthroughs.

recommended by Ally

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserve some highlighting? Tell us about it! A old or recent game that wowed you so much you want to spam it to everyone? Tell us about it!

We'll add it to the page!

FINAL WORD

Before we end this issue, we would like to thank:

Ally, @elegantunknownphantom, and a dozen of anonymous users!

Your shared news, helpful tips, cool links, filled form, written Sheet line, sent emails… all these little attentions toward the Zine help us so much!

We also would like to thank all of you who told us of cool recs that didn't appear this edition. We'll try out best to fit them in next week!

And a final thank to all of you who not only read our zine, but liked it, shared it with others, left a little sweet reply or dm, or even rated it on itch! Those little bits of support really help us so much!! Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

As a final parting word, we thought of bringing back this little challenge for you all:

If you enjoy a game or a project, or if you admire an author and their work, try to send them a little message of appreciation this week. A little comment or rating for their game, a compliment in their askbox/dm, gushing in the tags of a reblog or in a review…

Spread the kindness!

See you again next week!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, AND NOI

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 7

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jonghyuns-husband · 1 year

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(CW // Dec 18th, suicide, victims of harassment, violence, mental health talk)

Since I want to spread this hashtag more, I would like to talk about the Shawols that I lost over the years and bring their voices up.

Clem was a friend I met on Wattpad back in 2015 when I was 11 and she was 14. She was one of the closest and the first online friend I’ve ever had. She loved to make SHINee stories for fun and she also helped me to write better. She was an amazing writer who took great passion for her work as well as her being a big advocate for the LGBTQ+ community according to her sister who came out as lesbian a year before we met.

Unfortunately, Clem was bullied at her college and her workplace, including on her online accounts. This would occur about 1-2 month after the death has been announced. On the 15th of December 2018, 3 days after Jonghyun’s first anniversary, she couldn’t take it anymore and took her own life. She was 17.

Sam was a girl in the secondary school who was 2 years older than me. I remembered talking to her once and that was it. She also really loved Jonghyun and Onew and was a BIG fan of the group.

One day, she stopped coming to class. There was a rumour going around saying that Sam took her own life after being hate bombed for posting about Jonghyun positively to cope with the pain. The last time she was in class, a guy mentioned his passing without warning which triggered the girl to stand up and leave. Ever since then, she was never seen again. The guy thought that it was his fault, but it turned out that she was going through a lot recently and couldn’t take it anymore. If it was true, then she died on the 9th of January 2018 aged 16 years old.

Ayami was a close friend of mine since Year 1. Interesting fact, she was actually born in Japan and then came to the UK when she was only 4. That summer, she enrolled in my school where we met on the first day. She didn’t speak much English, but luckily I knew a bit of Japanese so we were able to have a connection together. She was a sweet girl that would look out of anyone who looked like that needed help. She even loved to cook and wanted to start her own sweet shop one day where she would make sweet treats such as cakes, cupcakes, brownies, cookies, etc. Fun fact, my blog @yutassweetshop is actually based on her childhood dream and yes NCT bias was also Yuta! It’s a sweet (no pun intended) tribute to the one I called noona, and yes I’ll never stop calling her that until the day I die. Never mind, she’ll still be my noona anyways.

Although yes she had been harassed around his passing when we went to school together, there were other stuff in her life that really pulled the trigger on her head. I could make a separate post talking about Ayami and what she had went through so you would know, but to keep it simple, her father did some horrible things to her as a kid that when she found out, she took her own life out of fear. She was 14.

The reason why I mentioned her was the fact that Jonghyun’s passing was one of the chain of events she had to go through in her life, and you never truly know what someone has gone through already. Even though she didn’t die over it, that still doesn’t make it ok regardless. It’s still an awful thing to do to someone who is grieving by acting like they are complete strangers and treating them like they had never once seen the man before.

Those 3 girls didn’t took their lives because they were obsessive fans, they died because they were HARASSED to suicide. I know a friend’s friend who was also a blinger that took her own life and her family thought it was because she was sad over the passing of Jonghyun. That wasn’t what happened. She was beaten up at school and was told to kill herself ever since she came back from the Christmas holidays. She ended up doing so in her room and she was so close to celebrating her 16th birthday. It was the same as Jonghyun’s. She took her own life 2 days before at age 15.

There were some people in my cousins’ lives that killed themselves too, but I don’t know them very much, but all of them will be missed. Any Shawols that I’ve missed, please leave their names below and tell me one thing you loved about them. You can even talk about their favourite song or albums.

This tormenting K-Pop fans thing needs to stop. I don’t care if you think teenage girls screaming about their BTS biases are cringe, this needs to end. It’s not funny anymore and it’s claiming lives. I could of lost my friend that I met last year just because of the dumb messages of them saying that he was disrespecting a “deadman.” It just seems so tone deaf that really, they’re actually doing the disrespecting and not him.

This is already a difficult month for all of us and I just beg, PLEASE DO NOT HARASS ANY SHAWOLS. Not just in this month where it’s his anniversary, but WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. Please treat us like human beings and stop making us change for someone who barely even knows about the guy until the news broke and now you want to be the fucking hero when you’re not.

Why don’t you do all of us a favour and just fuck off. I’m sure most of us would want that now. This is why some Shawols like me haven’t yet stopped grieving because of how badly people treated us over the years. It has been 5 years, instead of telling us to “let him rest in peace”, how about you let us “grief in peace.”

It’s like what they say, “don’t give his family condolences if you aren’t going to respect his fans.”

Never mind, I did.

Rest in peace to Clem, Sam, Ayami and everyone else who took their lives due to these kinds of people either in real life or online. Rest in peace to the main guy himself, Kim Jonghyun. Thank you so much for taking care of those lost souls for us. Trust me, this was never your fault. Don’t ever blame yourself for any of this. Disgusting pricks like them (the people who harasses Shawols) has always existed since the beginning of time.

Please don’t cry because of the Shawols that went your route but be happy since you made their dreams come true.

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tumb1r-revival-initiative · 1 year

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Why Tumblr Should Be Revived

1. The staff is not nearly as strict about porn as before. They got rid of the failed algorithm that attempted to detect skin on posts. This was the biggest driving factor to the migration. Artists can now thrive on here once again without having their posts flagged as porn when they’re not.

2. There are also many porn blogs on here still because as I previously mentioned, staff isn’t as strict as they used to be. You can potentially view and own a porn blog on here as long as you are careful. At the very least, it can have suggestive pictures and explicit text posts. There are millions of those on here.

3. This community was like no other. This was the only social media where the neurodivergent, the LGBTQ, the furries, the “cringe” people, where ALL social outcasts found a home. People came here and realized there were many others out there just like them. Tumblr is the home to aesthetics and fandom and has a sense of community you can’t find elsewhere. Tumblr has always been meant for niche interests, many of which have been born from here. It’s fun to be a part of that. There’s a reason why a lot of people don’t like Twitter anymore: it’s because it’s mainly populated by former Tumblr users. Ever since the migration, people have been complaining about hating sensitive Twitter users. Niche community members went somewhere they weren’t really welcomed. This is fine because social media is for everyone, but wasn’t it so fun to have a place where the niche and different thrived? It felt special.

4. Twitter is going down in flames. It’s no secret that Twitter’s website has started to worsen ever since Elon has taken ownership. Twitter already doesn’t let you curate your dashboard as much as it should, since you’re seeing what other people like, but not what you like. It guarantees that you will see content you don’t want to more than you would on a social media like Tumblr where filtering content is so much easier. This is why it’s much easier to avoid discourse on Tumblr if you choose to do so. Also, no one on Twitter uses tags due to the short character count on a tweet, resulting in lots of unfiltered content coming your way. Yes you can mute words, but you definitely already have or will see art or other imagery you don’t want to see due to short and irrelevant captions. Additionally, Twitter is no longer being moderated by anybody. Elon Musk has fired the majority of the staff that regulates content violating Twitter’s rules. Reporting on Twitter essentially does almost nothing at this point. Apart from that, you have the option to remove ads on Tumblr, the checkmarks here are more colorful, you can have several blogs all under one email, and if all that isn’t convincing enough, you can at least leave Twitter as a “fuck you” to Elon if that’s more your style.

5. Tumblr as a website and app have both improved. Not only did they get rid of the porn-detection algorithm, but they also provided us with many more options to customize our dashboards. The app is significantly less buggy as well. And now you can choose from a set of a couple colored themes in settings for when you’re browsing the dashboard and search.

6. The amount of personalization you can have with your dashboard and blog is unlike any other website. It’s only improved but even before it was one of the key features that has made Tumblr different.

7. Tumblr is less stressful than other social medias. Due to how good the content filtering is, we can avoid a lot of unwanted content. Less discourse, less triggering, less negativity. You don’t have the other common social media pressures of following a certain amount of people because it’s common to hide that information here, along with the amount of followers you have. That means anyone here can be “Tumblr famous.” Blocking is also frowned upon on most social medias, but it’s pretty commonplace on Tumblr. Block everybody if you want to, even me.

Thank you for reading. My next post will be what we can do to revive Tumblr. In the meantime, please follow, like, share, comment, and reblog.

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coolgirlmedia · 2 years

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Real People Cannot Queerbait: In Support of Kit Conner and Harry Styles

When the news about Kit Conner being outed came out a few days ago, I was angered just like many others. I'm not much older than Kit Conner myself and I can't imagine what it must be like to be outed like this so openly and publicly before you're ready. Young adulthood is so tumultuous and vulnerable and to have the autonomy over your sexual identity taken away from you simply because people couldn't mind their own business is such a terrible thing. As a straight, cis girl, I can't imagine what it must be like to be forced to out yourself like that on social media. I never want to speak over the LGBT community but as a staunch ally, there are certain things that I want to discuss.

For years I have seen the term "queerbaiting" thrown around, mainly in a real-world context and I've seen multiple celebrities accused of queerbaiting. I think it is very important right now, to acknowledge the fact that real people cannot queerbait (Queerbaiting - Wikipedia). Queerbaiting is a term that was meant to be applied to fictional media, not real life living breathing humans. The way a person dresses does not define their sexuality.

Celebrities deserve to have privacy too. Simply being in the public spotlight does not mean that you or anyone else is entitled to know about their private life. Even if you are part of the LGBTQ community, it does not give you, or anyone else, the right to speculate about someone's sexuality. A person who dresses or acts a certain way is not queerbaiting.

This applies to Harry Styles too. Harry is someone who has been in the public eye since the age of sixteen and he has thus grown up being watched very closely. His behavior and his style have changed the same way anyone's style would change over time. Tell me, do you still dress and act the same way you did at sixteen? I have seen some people say that he began wearing dresses and dressing femininely when he realized that "there was a market" for it but this could not be further from the truth. If anything, he has only grown comfortable in his own skin and feels like he is able to dress the way he wants to. Harry has said before "Am I sprinkling in nuggets of sexual ambiguity to try and be more interesting? No." He's simply dressing how he wants to dress. This has nothing to do with his sexuality.

Furthermore, I find it crazy that people feel they are entitled to know what his sexuality is. How is it any of your business? What makes you think he owes it to you, a random stranger, to come out and label his sexuality for your satisfaction? The amount of self-important, nosy, indignation someone must feel to expect that from a celebrity is mindboggling. In addition, Harry Styles is someone who has hinted at not solely being attracted to women in multiple interviews. He even has an unreleased song called "Medicine" where he mentions both men and women (Harry Styles - Medicine (St Paul) - YouTube).

"The boys and the girls are in I mess around with them And I'm okay with it."

Also, just because he has only ever publicly dated women does not mean that his sexuality is any less valid. And once again, his dating history is no one's business but his.

Harry has never called himself a "queer icon" nor has he ever tried to act like he's the "first man to wear a dress". He's not the first man to wear a dress by any means. It is other people, mainly his younger fans, who love to attribute these sorts of embellishments to him. Is the fact that he gets credited like this his fault? No, this is not his fault, and he does not deserve to get hated on because of this.

I was talking to someone who called Harry Styles a "queerbaiting piece of shit" a few weeks ago. Because they are part of the community, they felt that they had the right to assess whether or not he was worthy of being considered it a part of it as well. This had angered me greatly because it made me want to say, "who are you to decide whether someone is queer or not?" When I met them again just yesterday, I brought up how real people cannot queerbait in relation to the Kit Conner situation and this time they talked about Harry Styles very differently, acting like they hadn't called him a "queerbaiter" just a few weeks earlier. "He doesn't owe it to anyone to label his sexuality," they said. While I obviously agree, it annoyed me so much that they wanted to act like they hadn't said what they'd said about him not too long ago. I am however glad that they realized the error of their ways and changed their mindset.

I hope the people who outed Kit Conner feel ashamed of themselves. I also do hope that they take the time to reflect on what they've done and how their internet bullying and "queerbaiting accusations" have had a such harmful effect on a teenage boy who was not ready to come out.

Learn to leave celebrities alone. They owe you nothing.

#kit conner #harry styles #niall horan #louis tomlinson #liam payne #zayn malik #one direction #lgbtq community #heartstopper #queerbaiting #mattxiv #celebrities #pop culture #twitter

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taintedsoul-if · 1 year

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What is wrong with the anon that asked for a selectable gender option for Cadmus?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's a bad thing for someone to want more flexibility. But he asked for it being openly homophobic and that being the only reason

That being said, I would like to say that I don't think it's really necessary to do a lot of extra routes just because one or two people are unhappy. People have partners that they later regret. You're literally not forcing anyone to date Cadmus in the future, but it seems like it's kind of important that we were married to him in the past. And there are other characters we can date in the future.

I don't know if with the "friendship route" you mean that instead of us being married to him we were good friends, and although I find it interesting, I think that would change too many scenes in the future. Not to mention that it seems that you already have many things planned that you would have to modify.

If it really was something you thought about doing before, do it. If it's just for that person, I'd recommend either not doing it or writing it as a bonus when you're done with the book, so you don't interrupt your current writing process.

Now, if you meant something else, I might have sounded very silly. But in the end my message of "don't change things for something only one person said" still stands. And more when that person is openly rude and intolerant. And that he probably didn't even read the demo or paid much attention to it considering he mistook Cadmus's name for the name of the country he rules.

PS: I love the way you write and I loved the demo, keep it up.

PS2: I used a translator, sorry if something was translated wrong

You see Anon. I grow up in a homophobic community. At a certain age I never knew what LGBTQ stand for but I did heard my father saying if any of his children came out as gay one day he would hang them to death/slit their throat. I was very depressed at that time and I couldn't help asking my father what those people ever did to harm them "straight people". My father responded. They're the ones that are responsible for most of the raping and kidnapping. I just shook my head at his small minded behaviour.

I just couldn't help myself. At that time my sister loved reading M/M romance. She was the one who pulled me down that rabbit hole and ever since then I never looked back. I do believe love has no gender. At the end of the day only one being can judge us for our sins. We as human beings have no right whatsoever to loathe, kill someone just because they're gay. They're human beings as well. With blood same as anyone else. I am just tired of small minded people. This world is not like it once was in the Victorian times where a man has to hide his lover behind close door in fear.

Cadmus has lived in my mind for years and he has always been a man. His dialogue would not sound right as a female. At the start of this book I never thought about Trysten/Trista and Nyssa/Nyala. But because I wanted my readers to not feel uncomfortable I decided to add two more romanceable npcs. I understand that most are uncomfortable with the fact that Cadmus is a man. But in the prologue did he do anything to your character? No he did not because I have a sense of measure. I understand he's the most interesting RO at this point because he's a madman. So most wants to get on this bandwagon. I also understand that there's going to be constructive criticisms.

I do understand all that. Reading that ask today made me rethink everything. Wondering if I should even continue my story because of those words. I couldn't help wondering how other readers felt. If they would dislike my story and not want to read it anymore. Everyone is a human being. I don't want anyone to come on my blog to spread hate about gay people. Everyone deserves love. It's not their fault they grew up loving the same gender.

People who makes it their main goal in life to antagonize gay people makes me wonder if they're a closet case and they're just jealous of the fact that Joe/John was brave enough to come out. I am a peaceful person. I do not believe in fighting unnecessarily. I came here to write and interact with mysterious people who genuinely liked my demo and wanted to gush about their crush on a certain RO! No more negative energy please.

Anon I'm sorry if I'm ranting to you. Reading your ask, I felt as if a dam opened up inside of me and I just couldn't hold back anymore.

Everything for Cadmus is already planned and I wanted to toss in the friend route because I didn't want anyone else to comment on the fact that they're not gay.

But what most don't understand is these interactive ifs are text based you control the story. There's always another way around. I have a favorite author that I love reading from and she had an RO that I did not like one bit. Instead of going on her page to complain I actually just avoided that romance route completely. Sometimes we can be the bigger person and not hamper down on others. I am already up to my neck with planning out my story. Learning coding. Reading books about the topic I want to write about. Trying to sleep at nights and eating on time.

I'll carry on as I have. I won't allow one ask to dampen my mood for my story. If it steers others off then that's just how it is. Cadmus is MALE and he'll remain that way.

It's insulting to forget the name of my character as well. It's very hurtful. I am not being rude. I am just being straightforward. Anon. 😭 thank you for listening to my long rant. And for giving me words of encouragement. I really appreciate it.

I am glad that you're enjoying the story so far! 🤗

#rant #CADMUS IS MALE!!!#lovely anon #I'll try to calm myself down a bit. I can't write when I'm emotionally.#have a wonderful day/night anon. thanks again for your words of encouragement #also your English translation is perfect! 100% ☺

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rayroa · 25 days

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Allison Russell Q&A

Canadian songwriter, and Nashville resident, Allison Russell is coming to Tampa on May 11, 2024. Here's our Q&A, unedited mostly, as a reference for anyone who wanted to read beyond the story I did for Creative Loafing Tampa Bay.

I listened again to the record last night. I went for a midnight run for an hour and it was just hitting—it was wild. I live in Florida. One of my favorite things about the way you talk about activism is how often you always come back to just trying to change laws. Thinking about Nashville, the city that's given a lot to you, and obviously you've given so much back to Nashville in regards to your activism. And I was wondering how much do you have in your tank for other places? Can we get a "Florida Rise?" Because domestic legislative terrorism—it lives here, you know?

I know it's everywhere. I think I would love it if Florida artists adopted "Tennessee Rise" to "Florida Rise" and used it, I would be thrilled. We've been talking about the "Love Rising" benefit that we did here to push back against all of the horrific, unconstitutional laws targeting demonizing and criminalizing our LGBTQ+ community which I'm a part of—it's really our trans siblings who are just being assaulted left, right and center, you know, the most vulnerable among us—so we did this big benefit concert called Love Rising, that Hozier supported actually, and so did Hayley Williams and Brittany Howard and Sheryl Crow and Yola, and just all kinds of awesome people, Maren Morris. We raised, like, close to $600,000 for these wonderful organizations on the ground, sort of doing the work year round: Tennessee Equality Project, Inclusion Tennessee, Out Memphis, and the Tennessee Pride Chamber. What it really was, we did a ton of voter registration at that concert, that part of it was really successful as well.

The other part was that people saw each other—progressive and moderate folks who believe in equal human rights found each other in Tennessee. And once you see each other and realize—so much of it people despair, they think that there's no way to change anything. Everything feels sort of impossible or something, but the reality is that in Tennessee, it's just gotten this bad because only 32% of registered voters are showing up at the polls, so it's completely skewed. It's not a super-majority. It's a super-minority government. If 80% of the population had shown up and voted to say this is what the majority of people here want—but that's not the case. And I suspect it's very similar in Florida. I don't know if your voter turnout is dismal as ours.

Turnout is bad. I'm afraid that the registration numbers are getting harder, harder to overcome for the Democrats. I think they're almost at a million disadvantage as far as active registered voters—I looked this morning. We had Joe Biden in town to talk about Roe v. Wade and our six-week ban. Speaking to change the things I wanted to ask you kind of a silly question. Tokenism and this false narrative of scarcity and people being interchangeable—the divide and conquer kind of manipulation—all that's kind of quickly fading away. You mentioned all those people that came to love rising benefit. And it's cool that you don't even have to try to change the system so much anymore, because you're creating your own ecosystem that works for you. But then thinking about diversity and representation and those moments where you can look around and there's like this really uplifting makeup of people on stage, but I think you worked out of Henson recording studio. I was wondering about Kermit the Frog. I saw him play Newport with Jim James, when is it your turn to have a Kermit collaboration?

Oh my god. You don't know how much I want to collaborate with Kermit. Kermit is the reason I play banjo, before I knew anything about the banjo being America's African instrument, brought over by the diaspora. Let me tell you, if “Sesame Street” ever comes calling, me and Kermit have a date.

Someone needs to reach out to Chris Funk at Newport Folk Festival and make that happen.

Help me out. Bring Kermit back.

Let me ask you about Hozier. I love the videos of you singing "Work Song." Sometimes, reading about you and the way you talk about Fred Hampton and the Young Lords and how he brought them together with the Young Patriots—how powerful Fred Hampton was in his ability to create that coalition. You have the Rainbow Coalition, your band. You have a body of fans. I was wondering how close do you think you get to Fred Hampton's vision of collaboration across really, really diverse sets of people? When you look out at your crowd, and you look at your fans, like, do you see maybe what Fred Hampton was building...

Yes, absolutely. Particularly, Hozier's audience. It’s so diverse. It's so gender diverse. Last night I think there were more queer young Black women in the audience than I've ever played to in my life. And it was so joyful. When we sang "Eve Was Black," there was a group of women right at the front, holding up these signs saying "Eve was Black, and so are we." I was crying because it was so beautiful. There really is. I feel like Gen Z gives me a lot of hope. They just seem to not have a lot of the same biases that have plagued previous generations, and they seem to have deep wells of empathy and compassion and care. And it just gives me a lot of hope. These shows have been—I mean, we were only two in—they've just been so joyful. Such diverse, big crowds, and very young—his audience is very young. It's been really, really putting a lot of fuel back in the tank, really giving me a lot of hope. I do see that rainbow coalition out. Really the Rainbow Coalition is everybody that believes in the basic principle of human equality of our one human family and the fact that like, we have a shared destiny on this one life bearing planet that we know of in the universe. We gotta show up for each other in better ways.

I was watching your Instagram story and I did notice that there were a lot of young POC folks. "Eve Was Black" is one of those songs. I'm a Filipino guy. I listened to "Eve Was Black" and in a lot of ways I can't relate in any way—but it's still so powerful. As somebody who's not in that demographic or category. I can't imagine how...

But except you kind of are because—first of all mitochondrial Eve, look it up—we're one human species. We originated on the continent of Africa and then we migrated and we adapted to different environmental stressors. When we try and put some kind of supremacy on pale skin because some people went north where there wasn't a lot of sun and they had to maximize their vitamin D, it's absolutely nuts when you think of it that way. That anyone was ever like, "This means we're superior. It's so absurd. [Elenna Canlas] in our band is Filipinx as well. She's been teaching us a little Tagalog and she's been just talking about the revolutionary movements within the Philippines as well, and how it inspired Black revolutionaries—this was all sort of concurrently happening. I think any people that has ever been oppressed can relate to any other people that have been oppressed. You know what I mean? Because it's the same toxic hierarchies trying to divide and conquer in order to extract and hoard resources, basically. It's just the same story over and over and over again. People you know, we just have to stop falling for the divide and conquer.

You are so good at making people feel seen and welcome. So thank you for saying that because last night when it was really hitting I was like, "I can't, you know, like the imagery of swinging from the tree and all that stuff." It was so tough. Then like the critic mind me, it was like "It's like 'Strange Fruit,'" And I was like, "God, how stupid does that sound?" You know, like to try and say that from my standpoint—like what do I know about it. Yeah, I guess you just flipped that on its head a little bit. So thanks.

I think you make art for survival. And you've talked about that a lot. But I think like refuge is a theme that's kind of baked into your music in a way. I don't know if we talk about it enough, but you grew up in Montreal. And you've talked about the things that helped you kind of escape even in the cold months, those student lounges, the chess matches, Persophone’s home and I think you had an apartment that you paid like $150 for and did telemarketing.

You've done a deep dive. How do you know all this?

I want to ask you stuff that you've been asked before.

You've done your research. Yes, that's all true. You know what's wild. One of my dear childhood friends now works in Taylor Swift's camp. He worked on the "Fortnight" video with them doing art direction and stuff. Whenever I see these huge things he's doing I think about all of us little raggle, taggle misfits hanging out at that apartment, dreaming of being working artists one day. We're all doing it. It's so wild.

That is awesome. And none of it's like guaranteed but at least you guys had each other.

That's the thing—chosen family is everything to me.

So the pandemic, horrifying as it was on a global level, allowed you to pause like the substantive touring habit that you were in. You were on the edge of burnout. The pause let you find a great home for your record. And I know this run just started, but how do you take refuge these days in your own life?

It's really through community. I feel a sense of refuge in surrounding myself with a loving community and surrounding my daughter with that. And honestly playing and playing shows with my friends—I always think about Willie Nelson, "On the road again / The life I love is makin' music with my friends”—basically it's what I've always loved the most. We're able to do that, and my daughter is going to come out on parts of this run and that is just so joyful to me. And building these kinds of growing, loving circles bit by bit, thereby reducing harm in this world—that's what makes me feel happy and good and safe. I take comfort in growing circles of safety and understanding and connection. That makes me feel like I'm doing my small part to reduce harm in the world and leave it slightly better than I found it, and that gives me a lot of comfort.

Let me ask you about Ida since you brought her up. My wife and I were together for 16 years and also did not plan to have a child. You talked about your very joyful pregnancy, birth and the joyful, accidental nature of it all. And I know you've talked about your fears of motherhood. I mean, it's kind of baked into "Tennessee Rise," and breaking cycles, but I'm curious what has Ida taught you about life that you didn't already know?

Oh, my gosh, I feel like so much. Ida is remarkably fearless—not fearless, I shouldn't say that—a brave person. She's very aware of when she's afraid of something, and she'll do it anyway if it's something she really feels she needs to do. She'll joyfully try new things. She doesn't tell herself she can't do them. She is so loving with her friends and also doesn't take rejection badly. She handles rejection incredibly well—and actually, like, she tries again.

Like being told she can't have a cookie? That kind of rejection?

No, no. So Ida spent the first kind of five years of her life on the road with her dad and I. We were in a band called Birds of Chicago, so we were just in the van constantly, and on the road constantly, and so every day there would be a new park in her life. A new group of kids. She would just joyfully go up to news circles of strangers and she would sometimes get rebuffed and rejected, and he wouldn't be daunted for very long—and often she would try again. She's made so many friends like where other people might just see or feel like they couldn't try again or take it to heart that they've been rejected. She has an endless curiosity about other people. She feels things really deeply. She can't understand why there's anyone that doesn't have a home in this world. She's like, "What is wrong? Why aren't we all doing something about this right now?" She just really motivates me to be more proactive in trying to change the things we can no longer stand.

Yeah, I do appreciate your stance on neutrality and options that we have, and things like that. Real quick. I want to ask you, how is dual citizenship going? Will you be able to vote here soon?

I hope so. I'm in the process of getting my American citizenship. Everything is so backed up, so we'll see. I don't know if I'll be able to vote this election cycle, but I'm certainly going to be able to by the next one. And I'm going to continue using my sphere of influence to encourage and plead with others to show up at the polls and remember that it's for the many. When people that have the privilege to vote, it's for every person who's underage. It's for every new immigrant for me who has a green card, but doesn't have citizenship yet. You're voting for your whole community.

There's this notion of being abused by ideology as a kid. You've talked a lot about ideological abuse and how it affects people, and the chain of abuse, but how far have you come in your understanding of true forgiveness?

I feel like I'm still working on it. And I think it's the most important thing we can learn how to do as human beings. It's in short shrift these days. There's a kind of an unfortunate kind of addiction to outrage that's that I see happening online. Definitely. I think it is really damaging and really harmful to our culture‚ the lack of forgiveness. Excommunicating anybody is really dangerous. To have a lack of forgiveness condemns us to an endless cycle of vengeance and violence and discord. I think that for me, one of the things that I have been working up my courage to do is to go see my abuser who is now an elderly ailing man. I'm gonna be in Toronto in June to open for Sarah McLachlan. And I'm going to try and go see him and just say, "I forgive you, go in peace," kind of thing. We'll see if I'm able to do it. I've been thinking about it so much. Especially in the context of—as we look at what's happening in the Middle East, what's happening in Sudan or Congo, or East Timor—I think about these cycles of unbelievable harm. People that have endured and meted out harm far greater than anything I've ever had to endure. And we're asking them as a global community to stop the violence, and we're asking them as a global community to change, to break the cycles. If I can't practice forgiveness in my own life, how can I be asking anybody else to do it right?

As a parting question, do you have anything you want Florida to understand as you make your way down here to the land where woke goes to die?

I want Florida to understand that we can't erase history by banning books. We can't break cycles of harm by pretending harm never happened. And that the only way out is through. And the only way through is together. We have to stop treating each other as enemies and the other—we are one human family on this precious beleaguered, under full-on assault by our worst practices, planet. We can change things together. We can grow circles of goodness together. We're so looking forward to playing and finding the Rainbow Coalition and finding each other.

#Allison Russell

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josiebelladonna · 1 year

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“oh, no,” i hear you say. “not more of these.”

yes, more of these, except these are from a horse’s mouth, the words of a therapist.

(18+ please)

When do I feel like my most authentic self?

Aside from making art or being on my blog, never. It’s like there’s this unspoken rule that I’m forbidden from ever fully being myself. The punishment is I’m always made fun of (and not in the flirty way that I usually employ) or ostracized. People don’t like the authentic “me”: when I show the real “me”, they don’t know what to do with me. The real me is never embraced, no one likes it or wants to be with it. The real me is hated. I always feel like I’m being judged for things I like, all that I do, everything… no one actually likes me, and no, I don’t see a shred of power in this, either. I tried to see it but I can’t. I’m not amazing. I’m just nobody.

My most authentic self does nothing but leave me isolated.

And by the way, I’ve found that this is very quickly becoming one of those words that’s thrown around so much that it’s losing its meaning. Like, “vibe” is one of those words. What does it even mean to be authentic anymore?

When, if ever, have I experienced sexual flow?

What’s that?

Edit: I’m a virgin.

Second edit: never. Literally never. Nevermind the fact that I’ve never had sex and that this is the first time i’ve heard of this, I’ve always been so rigid and wary of my own behavior.

What words or images come to mind when I hear the term “gay”? (“Lesbian?” “Bisexual?” “Asexual?”)

Call me old-fashioned but I think of really happy people (the term “gay” meant “happy” before it was used to describe sexuality, after all).

Lesbians, I think of short, often unusually colored hair on women.

Bisexual, I think of Kirk Hammett of all people.

Asexual, I think of the ace cards in a deck.

In what ways do I imagine my life would change if I were more involved with LGBTQ2S+ people? How would it stay the same?

I’m lgbtq+ and I don’t think my life has changed in the slightest.

How does my body react when I see queer-themed scenes in movies or TV shows?

A little uncomfortable, to be honest, like I squirm a bit—it’s because I don’t expect it, it’s not “internalized” anything. It’s that I don’t expect it. After a time, though, it doesn’t even faze me in the least.

Regardless of gender or appearance, what helps me feel most connected with a romantic or sexual partner?

…their intellect? I don’t know, I’ve never been involved with anyone before.

(Can we stop using the word “partner” please? This word is just a noise to me now, completely devoid of meaning).

What does “Love is love is love” mean to me?

Reminds me of “a rose is a rose is a rose” from Gertrude Stein. An odd repetitive phrase that’s supposed to make you think (except Mrs. Stein was approaching from an “it is what it is” angle).

How do I trust myself to make big decisions?

Big decisions, that’s for people who have their shit together, right?

What practices, beliefs, and experiences are essential to my self-identity?

My pain. My anxiety. My weight. The way I move and how I do it. The way I love and feel.

I don’t know, I feel like I’m bullshitting.

What messages did I receive from family, friends, and the communities in which I live about what it means to live a “good” life with “good” relationships?

(Oh, man, you want me to go there?) I was taught that I had to be married to a man with two children by the time I was my age that I am right now and that I would have all things sexual figured out the very second I had a wedding ring on my finger—this belief that women can automatically turn on their sexuality at the drop of the hat once they’re married was pounded into my head from a young age. The total christian belief that for some alarming reason gen z has taken to as of late… 😳

No one ever told me about possibly identifying as a different sexuality (it was always “if you feel this way, I’ll accept you”, akin to “if you need anything, tell me” that I hear at the slightest mention of depression or anxiety, but never the possibility that it would happen to me, though), or that I would find myself thinking about girls as well as boys, or that crossdressing is fine. I lived in a podunk town full of conservatives when I was in high school. There was a boy at the middle school who committed suicide because he was bullied for being gay. I remember I was a senior when it happened: his name was Seth Walsh. Rise Against did a song called Make It Stop and they actually mention his name in the bridge.

What do I imagine are the hardest parts of living as an openly LGBTQ2s+ person? What would be the best?

Actually being open with it: when I was a baby, my cousin Harmony came out as lesbian and then began identifying as male, and the family pretty much disowned him. I actually did say I was pansexual on facebook before my logout and no one said anything, and I don’t know if I should be insulted or relieved because it’s a big deal coming out, especially after what happened to my cousin.

As for the best, I have no clue. I said I was pan on instagram, and again, no one bat a lash. It’s like coming out has completely lost its intensity and literally no one cares if you come out as pan or anything. I honestly don’t know what’s worse, to be honest: I expect becoming persona non grata because it’s happened to me my whole life, but indifference? No.

So much for being vulnerable and connecting with people.

What would I need to change in my life in order to consider options beyond heterosexual relationships?

Get the hell out of this area and never come back, for one thing. After that, I don’t know. It’s not like spotting a toupee. Can people tell if you’re lgbtq+ without you being aware, or is that just some corny joke that tv and movies did for years?

What would it mean for me to change how I identify sexually?

Ever since I started identifying as pansexual, it’s made a lot more sense but it hasn’t really helped me in connecting with people. If anything, it’s made me feel a lot lonelier. I can’t imagine having a boyfriend, and I sure as shit can’t imagine ever having a girlfriend.

Which parts of my current/past relationships have been performative and which parts feel genuine and pleasurable?

I’ve never had a relationship. Not even exaggerating. I’ve never had a boyfriend and having a girlfriend is out of the question, especially since some of my worst bullies were girls.

What kinds of thoughts do I have when I see a same-sex couple holding hands in public? Kissing?

I only ever saw a lesbian couple holding hands one time and I was mesmerized by them. I remember walking right behind them and I couldn’t stop looking at them (I almost walked right into a tree, I was so drawn to them). Never saw two gay men together, though.

How do I bring compassion and kindness to those parts of myself that make me feel uncomfortable?

I’ve been trying to figure this out for months. Yes, I tried affirmations, and they didn’t help—if anything, they made me feel worse about myself. I journal and it only kicks up anger and negative feelings about myself. I write erotica but I have difficulty talking about it and saying it out loud: in my year review post in December, I was really struggling to write in the fact that I’m an erotica writer now. It looked effortless but trust me, I was struggling. Like, do I actually say that, especially with how big of pricks ig are with that?

Which terms or words do I use to describe my sexual interests?

Ridiculous. Unnatural. Lame. Boring. Filthy. Worthless. Horrible. Disgusting. Unacceptable. I’m a heathen. I’m not human. I’m a bad person. Completely not sexy at all, only “cute”. What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? Why do I feel this way? What am I doing wrong? Nothing positive, that’s for sure.

I’ve never felt safe to express these things, either. How am I supposed to see them in a positive light if the outside world won’t let me share in the first place?

Consider: “Labels are for clothes, not people.”

I usually say cans of soup, because even clothes defy labels.

How do I embrace my authentic self – even when it differs from the expectations of others?

I just do but… I see no use or power in it, especially when the reaction I get is “meh, whatever”, instead of bringing me to the right people.

This was supposed to bring me to the right people. I feel like i’ve been lied to. It’s not in me to fake it, either: what the hell am I supposed to do?

What makes me feel the sexiest?

I guess my skinny jeans? Black and stretchy and they go with anything. I don’t really like t-shirts anymore because it always feels like they’re choking me (they make me look matronly, too).

Were you expecting me to say lingerie? No. I look at lingerie from Spencer’s, I picture myself in one of those and I cringe immediately. I know I’ll look like an idiot if I wear something that’s supposed to be sexy. Why do I even bother.

What is my favorite sex scene in a movie or television show?

I don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene and didn’t feel uncomfortable, or told to look away. Add to this, it’s all underwhelming: I hate 50 Shades of Grey (and screw you if you think that’s legit erotica) and I have never seen anything on the silver screen or small screen that was actually sexy in my eyes. This is what people find hot? This sucks.

Am I holding anything back from myself?

Happiness. What have I done to deserve true happiness? Nothing? Okay, then what should I do to get happiness? Oh, also nothing? Why am I not happy then? Did I miss something here, why is this such a nebulous concept? Why is this so pointlessly confusing?

My lesbian thoughts. They’re like… here and gone in a couple of seconds. What do I even do with them.

My straight thoughts, too. What guy would want me?

I don’t even know what I want in another person, except for intelligence, spontaneity, looking unusual, a big heart, and has a conscience.

I have never been anyone’s crush—I’ve never been anyone’s tumblr crush, if you can believe that. People on tumblr have crushes on other tumblr people (you see those posts ad nauseam about how much they love their mutuals, and they’re really annoying because it just reminds me of my own loneliness. and they’re just stupid on principle, too, like I GET IT. YOU LOVE YOUR FUCKING FOLLOWERS. SHUT UP ALREADY, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT AND I DON’T BELIEVE YOU ANYWAY.) I don’t get this new generation of tumblrs either: you claim to be fans but there’s no passion, it all feels very passé and heartless, like an attraction at Disney. But mention ~mutuals~ and you would think a strip club just opened.

I have never been anyone’s girlfriend, anyone’s type… anything.

Moreover… what on earth makes the adults in the room think i’m hot shit?

“Hannah, did you see that cute boy checking you out?” What is this supposed to accomplish? I didn’t see anyone, and I don’t know what you want from me.

“I assume that belongs to your hot boyfriend.” (talking about my rock n roll jacket, and it’s kind of obvious it’s mine because the collar is pink and next to pins and patches of bands, it’s got kind of effeminate patches like daisies, hot pink peace signs, and cats as well)

Why should I hold back anything when there’s nothing to send out to? I yell into a void all the time. I’m being myself but no one listens or cares or wants to get to know me, like there’s a reason why I turned off my ask box (aside from getting rude messages and they were genuinely upsetting me). If I’m not getting shat on, I get radio silence. I’m literally that starved.

Do I have anything I am concerned to tell my partner?

*seethes* Everything. What am I supposed to say? What do you want to know? What do you want me to say?

For some reason, journaling about the relationship aspect of sexuality only makes me angry: it makes me painfully aware of how fucking pathetic and lame my sexual history is, how a woman my age is supposed to be far more experienced than this, and it just makes me aware of how much of a black sheep i am, too. I violated a time table and I failed at being myself: I deserve to be punished and destroyed. I really, really feel like I messed up by being a late bloomer and not living up to expectations from a young age. I mean, I have a lot of anger in the area of sexuality as is, and it’s very dualistic, too: I feel anything sexual and I get angry, and then I get angry at myself for being angry about something that’s supposed to be natural.

Moreover, the fact no prompt list I have ever come across to try and help me unpack and audit my feelings has not had the presumption that those doing these have never had a relationship does fuck all to help—if anything, it just riles up the anger. “You and a partner” this, “you and a partner” that. Is virginity just a joke and a myth to you people who write these godforsaken things, what the hell? Some of us are just that malnourished. Some of us have never been approached or even looked at. Some of us are physically ugly. Some of us have never felt sexy a day in our life.

STOP ASSUMING WE HAVE OR HAD A PARTNER. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

What are my favorite sexual fantasies?

I’m so tired.

I’m exhausted.

I don’t know what to expect out of these anymore.

I have too much pain about the realm of sexuality that it’s overwhelming.

This is all bullshit, like my fantasies are so stupid.

No one finds me attractive.

My sexual expression is hideous.

Just leave me alone.

#really raw and rough right now #idk if i’m clean but i needed this catharsis #journaling #sexuality #personal #text

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softxsuki · 2 years

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hii!! im really sorry and i know that you have a veryyy long list of requests but i was wondering if i could put in an urgent request?..

could i req a mikey x reader where reader was kicked out of their house by their parents because they are part of the lgbtqia+ community (bi) and they are completely heartbroken over the fact that their family disowned them. mikey lets reader stay with him and provides them with comfort, maybe some cuddles 🥺😭

thank you so much. i understand if you dont wanna write this for whatever reason.

have an amazing day <3

Mikey Comforts Reader Whose Parents Kicked Them Out For Being Bi

Pairing: Manjiro (Mikey) x Reader

Warnings: mentionings of homophobia (?) from parents, tense relationship with parents, getting kicked out from home/being disowned from parents, like one or two mild swears, uhhhhh crying, reader wondering if they were ever loved, some violent thoughts from Mikey

Genre: Angst, Comfort, bit of fluff

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: In which you're kicked out of your house one night after your parents find out you're bisexual. You head to Mikey to tell him what happened and he lets you stay with him as he tries to comfort you

[A/N: SENJUUUUUUUUUUU, omg hi I'm so sorry for the wait. I mentally wondered how to write this request, but literally as soon as I actually sat down to write it, it basically wrote itself for the most part. I'm pretty happy with how it came out and I hope you like it too! I hope everything is okay <3 Thank you always for your patience. I know I've been a slow writer lately 🫠😩💔. Take care and enjoy :D]

Your feet carry you forward through the dimly lit streets, tears making their way down your face. You had just been kicked out of your parents house after they found out you were bisexual. Having no phone to call anyone since your parents took yours away, (since they were the ones paying for it) you decide to head to your boyfriend, Mikey’s place, hoping and praying that he’s home.

You have a small bag flung over your shoulder full of some of your clothes and important things that you couldn’t bear to leave behind at your parents home that would no longer be a place you could go back to.

Despite your slow, draw-out walking pace, it isn’t long until you finally arrive at Mikey’s home as you gently knock on the door. A few minutes pass before Mikey finally opens the door, looking groggy as if he just woke up.

“Who the hel- angel? What’s the matter,” He’s wide awake in a matter of seconds at your tear-stained face and puffy eyes, anger immediately pooling in his black irises, “Did someone hurt you? I swear I-”

“They found out,” you cut him off, but that’s all you manage to say before you burst into tears once again, but Mikey knows exactly what you’re talking about as you had expressed your fear that your parents would find out about your sexuality one day to him multiple times.

MIkey takes a look both ways outside before gently wrapping his hands around your wrist and pulling you into his home. He takes your bags off you and throws them on the couch, bringing you into his warms arms as he embraces you. Anger is still bubbling up in his chest at the fact that someone upset you, the person he held most dear to him. Even if they were your parents, no one would get past Mikey’s anger without hearing something from him, but he knew calming you down and making you feel better was his top priority before letting his anger get the best of him and running like a mad-man down to your family’s home to give them a piece of his mind.

“It’s okay Y/N, you’re safe here with me,” he coo’s in your hair, slightly swaying back and forth with you in his arms as you continue to cry in his chest.

Your parents had found out that you were bisexual; they were very against the LGBTQ+ community and ultimately disowned you, telling you you needed to leave their sight. Never in a million years would you think that your parents who raised you and were supposed to love you would get so upset to the point where they’d kick you out of their house and lives because you liked both men and women. Did they just not really love you at all? Is that what it was? Were you so easily disposable in people’s lives? Did you have that little value? You could feel your body stiffen as your brows furrowed, your sobbing going quiet as silent tears flow down your face.

Mikey pulls away from you and by the look on your face, he instantly knows what’s going through your head.

“Don’t do that,” He reprimands you.

“Don’t do what?”

“You know what,” he frowns slightly, flicking your forehead, “Stop overthinking this whole thing. There’s nothing wrong with you, your stupid parents are the ones who have an issue to treat you like this because of your sexuality. It has nothing to do with them anyway.”

He looks at you and gingerly wipes your tears away, “You don’t have to worry about a damn thing, I’ll still be here for you no matter what, loving you unconditionally forever. Just keep loving me in return, angel.”

You were heartbroken still though, you loved your parents and having them just coldy throw you out of their lives like it meant nothing to them hurt you beyond what words could express.

“Do you-” you pause for a moment, wondering if you should even express your heartbreak, but Mikey’s intent gaze encourages you to continue, “Do you think they still love me? Or if they even loved me at all?”

“Of course they still love you Y/N. Even if they made a drastic decision to kick you out of their lives, I know they still love you. You’re their child, and you always will be, nothing will change that. They’re just idiots who made a rash decision because of their own warped beliefs that only a man and woman can be together romantically.”

That made you feel better, knowing that your parents hopefully did still love you despite what they did. If you could just keep thinking that, then maybe it would be easier to get through this.

“Just wait for them to come around. They will or they won’t, but either way I’ll be here. Stay at my place for as long as you need, baby. This is your home now and I’m more than happy to have you. We’re gonna have a blast living together,” he leans in and nudges his nose with your nose, placing a small kiss to the tip of your nose before pulling away and smiling at you.

He pulls you in the direction of his room, “Don’t mind the mess. I’ll clear it all up for you tomorrow so our home feels more welcoming for you.”

“Don’t worry, I feel at home already,” you smile to yourself at him saying ‘our’ home instead of just his home.

And it was true, though Mikey’s place was a bit tiny and messy, having him there beside you, pouring the well needed love over you made you feel so at ease. Yes, your heart was still broken, a small part of it probably always would be now that you didn’t have your parents anymore for something so trivial, but Mikey was already starting to fill in the cracks of your heart with his warmth and love.

You take a quick shower to wind down and join Mikey in bed where he’s sprawled out, glancing at the ceiling in thought as you cuddle in beside him.

He’s quietly debating whether he should make a quick visit to your parents home and scare 'em a bit, or do some damage to their property to teach them a lesson (y’know scary Mikey things), but he quickly shakes the thought away. They’d know instantly who the motivation behind it was, and it would make things worse for you. But if you ever came up to him and asked him to help you get some payback, he’d be more than willing to give you a hand and take out some of his own frustrations and anger out on your parents for hurting you emotionally.

He wraps you in his arms and cuddles close to you, wanting to protect you and keep you happy for a long long time.

“I love you, thanks for taking me in.”

“I didn’t take you in. I was planning on asking you to move in anyways Y/N, this just sped up the process and I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he gives you a gentle squeeze, “I love you so much. Rest up, I know you’re probably drained. Don’t worry, I’ll be right here and I’ll never leave you.”

You nod your head at his words, feeling a lot calmer and at peace than you thought you’d be after everything you’d been through that day. You rest your head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart and the gentle sound of his breathing. You match your own breathing with his as he rests his chin on the top of your head, pulling you closer into his arms. You drift off to sleep hoping and thinking that maybe things would be okay eventually.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 4/23/2022

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almondmilks-posts · 3 years

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This is PT 2, it was so nice requested

Once again toxxic stalking behaviour you know the drill

* you took it as a sign from the universe...

* you started smiling at him more on passing, even under your mask

* simpbur would be so confused like whattt??? they are smiling?? At me??? He would so the thing where he looks behind him just incase it's not him your smiling at but no he's the one your smiling at

* he would kinda just freeze and think that you know about his stalking and him taking your hair brush and such

* you ofc had no idea what his true intentions where you just thought he was cute and was hanging around your town quite often.

* the more you saw him tho the less confidence you got because he just freezes completely. You waved at him when you went for a walk and he just turned around super quickly

* that kinda made you upset a lil and thought " hey maybe this stranger might think I'm stalking him so I'll leave him alone"

* this made simpbur kinda upset and mad aswell like your not smiling at him or waving at him or even just looking at him anymore. Possibly causing him to be even creeper

* he would want to look for any life changes such as bf or gf or anyone that isn't him and when he couldn't find one he gave up? Not really just felt really deflated he'd tried do hard to get to this point.

* you and your family went our for a dinner and simpbur saw this as a perfect opportunity to get to the bottom of why you are ignoring him.

* he did the usual lay in your bed, smell your shampoo, brush his teeth with your brush like he always did but this time he put his hands under your pillow and found something ??

* ah it's your diary. Ofc the grease ball read it. The usual drama that happens with friends and finical aid ect but the last few entry's peeked his interest

* they were about him. He wanted to save them so he took some pictures and headed home without actually reading them.

* the thought of you possibly not liking him back made him so anxious so he wanted to be at his own home to react.

The diary entries now:

Hes so cute with his round glasses and this yellow ish jumper he wears god damn he's adorable.

I smiled at him finally and he froze I don't think it's a good sign I mean he doesn't know me so it's understandable. He wasn't wearing his glasses today and I think he cannot see much without them his yellow jumper was in his bag but I think that's because it was really warm.

I saw him again today I learnt his name is wilbur when we had coffee or at least the name he gave the Batista was Wilbur so that's what I will call him. He had that yellow jumper on again today I don't think he ever takes it off 😭

Wilbur, it's such a unique name. British incredibly British but cute it matches him.

Omg. I waved at him whilst on a walk and he turned and ran away from me. I asked Vanceyy for advice and she wasn't very helpful. Said he might findw creepy and maybe she's right, I keep seeing him and waving and smiling at me and he never smiles back. I've decided it was never meant to be (wink) because he obviously doesn't like me back.

* he now knows what he must to go get your love.

Pt3??? 👀👀👀

#simpbur x reader #c: simpbur #mcyt x reader

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

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lately i feel taehyung is a straight man and his vibez is much more masculinity i mean not to mention taehyung straightly said to jimin he like him most and no offense for me it's just assurance about something etc and i don't feel like in romantic way but much more because he is best friend for life. i mean before you can assume he is kind of gay but lately i feel like he's more focus on masculine way and much more straight man.

Admin 1: Let’s do a little exercise which I think will help us answer this question, as well as showcase why reading it annoyed me so much, especially as queer person myself. Okay, here are nine different men, all of them athletes (why did I pick them? Because idols are basically just as athletic as them and chances of you knowing all nine are low), and now please try to guess which of them (if any) are gay/queer:

…

Do you have your guesses?

…

Okay, as example, if you guessed only the one first row second from the left then, well, you are partially correct. That man is Johnny Weir, former American figure skater, who is, in fact, gay, yes. But you are wrong in saying that out of all the men in those pictures he’s the only one who is queer. Because all of them are. You can read more about them here if you’re interested.

What does this tell us? Easy. The manner in which someone presents themselves (or the vibe, whatever that’s even supposed to mean, that they give off/give you), traditionally masculine, feminine, more androgynous, or anywhere else on the spectrum, has no correlation whatsoever with their sexuality. A gay man can dress in a way that is traditionally seen as more feminine and that’s fine. He can dress and look more typically masculine, and that is fine as well. He can dress and look however he likes and that doesn’t make him any less or more gay, or any less or more valid.

The main thing I would like for you to take away from this answer is this: please do not buy into stereotypical, basically fetishizing, portrayals and assumptions of what constitutes a “gay man” visually and behavior wise. There is no checklist full of boxes a queer man, or any queer person for that matter, needs to fulfil in order to be queer and valid in their queerness. There is no unified look a gay man has to showcase in order to be gay. It’s the 21st century, the year 2021, can we leave finally lay these things to rest?

As for Tae, if you want to know my thoughts about BTS and the LGBT community, I have an entire post about it which you can read here if that’s something that interests you. If we look at how Tae currently looks like, which you’ve defined as more “masculine” (and therefore straight), I will agree that he has gained muscles, if that is what you think is a necessary checkbox for masculinity, but really, all that really tells us is that Tae is healthy, that he looks great, handsome as ever, and that he is an idol of whom it is expected and required to be in a good physical shape, especially with comeback being quite literally just three days away which means a lot of performances, dancing, and hard Bangtan choreographies.

Your taste in fashion and how you feel most comfortable with your body looking like has no direct correlation with your sexuality, and neither does it with Tae’s.

Lastly, how is Tae saying he likes Jimin most on national TV somehow proof of him being straight? What else was he supposed to say? What would he have to say for you to not question his bond with Jimin? Is there a possibility we’re wrong and they’re just platonic, of course, but at the same time, looking at how Jimin said that Tae is a honest person, how Tae basically wears his heart on his sleeve, and how he’s written a song all about falling in love with his best friend, whom we know is Jimin, and we know Tae writes songs based on his own feelings and experiences, I do have a hard time believing that we are wrong. But, of course, we won’t know for sure until Tae or Jimin, or both, tell us themselves.

You are free to believe whatever you like but at least don’t project gender and LGBT stereotypes (most of which have been created and are perpetuated by straight people) onto Tae, and the other members for that matter. Or any queer person really.

Admin 2: I admit that after what I’ve recently observed on various sns platforms, no question will surprise me anymore. In fact, I'm sure I know where this question came from.

The most annoying thing is that despite so many "steps and demonstrations" on BTS' part, there is still an army trying to put people into individual boxes and number those boxes and give them names.

Do any of us have our sexualities written out on our foreheads? Can you see if we are sexually interested in women, men, or anyone else? And how can you know that?

I think a lot of people know Adam Rippon, for example, who is a former American figure skater and Olympic team bronze medalist. Yes, Adam is gay and has a very handsome partner, fiancé actually, who looks like a young god. He's fit, look at his photos on Instagram, Jussi goes to the gym, runs and is even in the process of builds a house himself, like a "real man", a "typical" man ... but he's gay!

If you look at this example, you can clearly see that there are no stereotypes that would indisputably define the appearance of an LGBTQ+ person! Indeed, in the last century, attempts have been made to give "gay" people the weird appearance of only ever being feminized man who are always sassy and the side kick in movies/shows, the stereotypical "gay best friend". It the past century it was designed as such to portray queer people, and especially gay men, in undesirable ways, as jokes and as something "bad", but I thought we grew out of it a long time ago as modern and tolerant people.

Kim Taehyung has to practice and exercise as a member of BTS. That’s a fact. To meet the requirements of their choreographies, whether you like it or not, you must be in an Olympic physical form. Not just him, the entire team must basically be at a near peak physical condition and health. Tae has to exercise, he has to take care of himself, and he has to look great. I have to admit, I've noticed that "gay" men pay more attention to their looks than a normal, unshaven straight guy! (I'm basing this on a joke Adam Rippon once made where he apologized to his followers for looking like an "unshaved straight guy" after he'd just woken up)

What do I mean by that? I want to express the fact that the way you look and take care of your appearance and physical condition are not an indicator of sexuality!

As for the "I like you the most" statement, I'll admit that I've observed many people in many ways trying to use this statement to twist it into whatever those people wanted it to be, instead of taking it for what it actually was, especially since it appears to be something like a thorn in the sides of those who ship other ML pairings.

I'll be rather blunt here now, instead of beating around the bush.

I think this whole question is another attempt at ripping down the Vmin sails and belittling their bond and its possible implications once again.

If we remember how the scene played out, remember Jimin's reactions, his nervousness, how flustered he was, said that things are getting dangerous, and the fact that Taehyung's letter was only for Jimin's eyes. Is that really how "bros" behave? Just a couples of besties?

I doubt that normal best buddies on national TV would feel the need to write mystery letters just for a friend's eyes and tell each other that they like him the most? I'll say more, "boyfriends" don't force their lover to admit that he is copying him in his dance style, only friends do.

It is strange that this "copy" situation was "perceived" as highly romantic, and yet Taehyung's words to Jimin were relegated to "best friends only, nothing else".

However, it doesn't change the fact that Taehyung said what he said, he wrote 95z is love and Jimin confessed that he would love to spend his life with his lovely Taehyungie. Do "only best friends" (best friends that are straight) behave like this?

#answered ask

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carpisuns · 3 years

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Here I am for Carpisuns Appreciation Week! Your art is amazing, your writing is amazing, you're so kind and inspiring and comforting, thank you for gracing our fandom with your self. It's amazing how much content you create and how consistently you make me smile.

But I also wanted to thank you for something more personal to me: mentioning that you're a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in your blog description. It probably seems small--it almost feels stupid to say it--but seeing that one line helped me so much. I was feeling very conflicted over my identity as both a Mormon and an ally (I now know I'm actually ace, but that happened later), because I saw so much homophobia in our church and it made me ashamed. I felt like I had to choose one side of me, and I hated that. Seeing a kind member who isn't just an ally, but openly LGBTQ+, made me so happy. It reassured me that I can be both at once, and I can be proud of both parts of myself.

So thank you. Thank you for being brave and living a contradiction that I long feared wasn't an option. Thank you for teaching me that we aren't contradictions. Even if it might have seemed small to you, even if it didn't take the courage it took for me, thank you. You're amazing.

It's so late here and I'm so emotional at night and I'll probably regret this in the morning but I just had to say thank you. So thank you.

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot 💜

I’m going to put the rest of this under a cut for people who would rather not read about religion haha. I was going to answer on priv but in case this would be helpful to anyone else in a similar boat I decided to post on main

I’m so happy to hear the effect my bio had on you. Tbh it did take courage, but it was important to me to have both of those parts of my identity side by side. When I was younger, I wasn’t very open about my faith because religion is something so deeply personal and also divisive, depending on who’s around you. And I hate conflict so I just wanted to avoid it at all costs, haha. But eventually decided that my faith was too important to hide like that. I thought, if I’m going to put a few words up there to introduce myself, it just doesn’t feel right to not mention it. My belief in Jesus Christ and my commitment to follow Him in many ways defines who I am as a person. So I decided years ago to put it in my bio and have always felt good about that. I’m not here to shove religion in anyone’s face or preach at them or judge them or anything like that—I’m just saying, “This is me and it’s important to me.”

As for the bi part, that is a lot more recent haha. It’s almost embarrassing that I didn’t identify as bi until I was 25, but the comphet is strong lol. I think it took me a lot longer to realize/accept my attraction to women because I am still attracted to men, so I can “pass” as straight and always assumed I was, and it was easy enough for a while to brush aside or repress or misinterpret my same-sex attraction. I questioned for years before I finally decided to try out the label “bisexual” in my head. And it felt right to me. It felt good to be honest about that part of myself. I am still not out to the public or the rest of my family, but I’ve told a few close friends and I wanted to at least be able to be open about it in my separate online spaces, to get more comfortable with the label as I figure out how to handle it with people I actually know IRL. But mostly I wanted to add those two extra letters to my bio because I feel like it’s important for other people to see them next to the name of the Church—and important to me most of all. To remind myself, yes, I can be openly bi and a faithful member of the Church. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. I am still committed to the teachings of the gospel, so I will not pursue relationships with women, but I can still be open about my experience and supportive of my LGBTQ siblings both inside and outside of my faith. I find it pretty freeing to be bi on the outside and not just inside my own head, you know? I’m not sure how it goes for other people but a lot of my early experience was wondering if I was faking it or tricking myself into thinking I was bi for attention or something. But literally why would I do that lol. This in-between space of being queer and a member of the Church has not been an easy place to live, but I’m trying to make a home here and I’d like to invite others too if I can.

And I guess that’s another reason it’s important to be open about both things. As I’ve been learning more about myself and my relationship with others and the Church and the world as a bi person, I’ve come to really crave a space where I can feel comfortable and open with both of those aspects of my identity—my queerness and my religious faith. I haven’t really found a space yet that supports both. Generally in queer-positive spaces, religion is (very understandably) a point of contention and pain, and I get why, as a Christian/Latter-day Saint, I may not be welcome to everyone in that space. But then within the Church and other Christian spaces, I have a hard time finding support or understanding at all. People don’t want to talk about it. They don’t know how. I think to some people in either space, my existence doesn’t really make sense lol. Like, how can you say you’re bi if you’re a member of the Church? Or how can you be queer and stay in that church? But I’m here and my experience is real and I know I’m not the only one. So part of my reason is to say to others like me, “Hey, me too. You’re not alone.” And I’m really really glad that it could speak to you that way.

For many years before I realized I was bi, I was drawn to the LGBTQ community and felt a desire to be an ally. I just didn’t know how. I felt like I had to walk some kind of line and support but not be too supportive, to love but not too much. But I’m not here to put limits on my love anymore. I don’t think that is what Jesus Christ taught. I am making the choice to stay committed to the teachings of the gospel, and I hope people respect that because it’s important to me. But other people will choose differently from me, and that’s okay and I will still love them and we will still be part of something together.

Sorry to say so much about this haha especially since as an ace person your experience is not quite the same as mine. But I have a few close friends who are ace and are also members of the Church and the space we’ve shared has been incredibly meaningful for me. I’m grateful you reached out and I hope my rambling helps you somewhat haha. If you ever want to chat, please feel free to message me! 💜

#starryarchitect #ask #nice things #personal #about me #religion #Christianity #lgbtq

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dr-fumbles-mcstupid · 4 years

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Happy pride month everyone! A friendly reminder that I identify as asexual aromantic. There is a lot of bullshit discourse in the Lgbtqia community about a lot of things. One of those things is that Aro & Ace people don't belong, they aren't discriminated against. Or they aren't "actually queer."

Fun fact #1. I first heard the term asexual as a 22 year old. I found it through a fanfic online, it was so underrepresented I didn't know it was a thing. No form of published media had ever told me about it, no person I knew had ever used the word. To this day

in popular media, off the top of my head I can think of 3 asexual characters, only one of which identifies as aromantic. Jughead from Archie comics (but not in Riverdale, because aro/ace isn't part of LGBTQ+ so it isn't erasure right?), Todd from BoJack Horseman, and apparently there was an ace character in the SYFY channel series lost girl.

Fun fact #2, I went on a few dates with a guy at the age of 20, it didn't go any further. He apparently told people I slept with him. I found out my older sister was close friends with a mutual friend of his, and when Briana (my sister) spoke up to that friend and said that was 100% a lie because she knew I did not (we didn't talk about a lot of sex things, but I think she had an inkling about me being ace even then), her close friend said that I had obviously lied to mysister becuase no one got to the age of 20 without having sex.

Fun fact #3, our whole society is really based upon the ideas of cohabitation and romance in particular. Almost all forms of media portray romance, and it often shows that a person isn't happy, or that their life hasn't really started until they find their perfect romantic partner. Leaving out how toxic that is to people romantically inclined (the need to constantly be with a partner, making it seem like you need to find 'the one', bad portrayals of what a relationship should actually be) it is incredibly disheartening to an aro person, and it makes it much much harder for non aro people to relate to, or even comprehend aro people.

Fun fact # 3b, a number of years ago a close friend of mine started a new relationship and had been in the "puppy love" phase where They dropped everyone but their Significant other for almost 7 month. I asked Facebook what the normal timeline for 'puppy love' or what they thought it should be was. Almost 99% of people said that when they met their significant other, or when they got married they dropped Almost all of their non familial aquentences including friends. People argued that this was normal and expected. They believe that once they found their romantic love that no other relationships were needed

Fun fact #4, I don't identify as sex repulsed, talking about sex or even engaging in sex with others, doesn't disgust or trigger me. Despite this people often treat me as ignorant of sex, and sexual urges, Sex Ed in general, and even if I was, like so what? Where this gets worse, is there is a perception that I am inoocent, or infantile becuase I haven't had the experience of sex, or have no desire to. This goes to relationships as well. I did have one serious relationship, and I dated people casually as well. Even if I didn't I am a smart person, romantic relationships are built on the foundation of compatability, honest open conversation, and friendship. I know this Even though I don't want a romantic partner. 😱 I still like movies and books with romance in them!!! 😱 I understand the concept of romance!!! 😱 You don't have to treat me like an idiot, or think I can't have advice for you/somone who is in a relationship!

Fun fact #5, I experience multiple micro aggressions every day, even from friends and family members. Every time I go to a new therapist I will mention being asexual, and their response will be "well that is probably because of your medication." I know some medications can erase your libido, but I have been on over 20 different medications over a period of 15 years. I still have a libido (sexual desire does not = sexual attraction, look up sex favorable and sex repulsed asexuals). I will explain this to them and yet every therapist I have ever had has still tried to persuade me that I was wrong about this.

People in my life will make jokes about me going on dates or meeting the mother of a friend becuase you know, I'm obvs gonna fall in love! People can't be friends, and "I don't think aromanticism is a thing." On the other side of the spectrum I have a few friends who say they support me, but then whenever I say "Chris Hemsworth is so attractive" or "She-Hulk is Bae, 10/10" , they automatically use it as ammo for discourse on why "maybe you are confused?". Being able to tell that someone is aesthitcally pleasing does not = sexual attraction. Even aro and ace people talk in this manner a lot becuase of fandom and online discourse, and how people Interact in general.

And finally, if I was wrong and I am just confused and not "really aromantic or asexual becuase it is just a mental or physical disease" (it's not) how does this hurt me or you? I am happy without sex or a romantic partner, I would be fine living the rest of my life without it, friends are enough! (although a queer platonic partner would be 👌👌👌). Even if I was misinformed and misguided (I am not), It isn't hurting anyone.

TLDR, #Aromantic and #Asexual people are #LGBTQIA, we are discriminated against, and it is a valid identity. The more you know #Pride2019

#pride month #asexual #aromantic #gay pride #pride 2020

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baku-writes · 3 years

Text

Coming out as Lesbian to MHA characters

Decided to do a short headcanon or drabble as coming out as lesbian to different MHA characters. Fun fact about me, I am actually a lesbian but there isn't much good lesbian MHA smut or fluff so I mainly stick with str8 stuff (it's alright but I will only ever date women). I guess the only male I ever had an attraction to is Bakugo, but I only find women attractive irl so I ain't bisexual. It's a mess.

But anyways!

TW: homophobia, lesbophobia, 'correction', mentions of fault beliefs like 'gays are pedophiles/molesters'

Coming out as lesbian to: mirko, Momo, Uraraka, Tyu, Iida, Kirishima and Bakugo.

MIRKO

Okay so Mirko gives off lesbian vibes ngl

Maybe bisexual, but to me she just screams of LESBIAN (don't @ me)

Anyways, it's pretty common knowledge to you all that Mirko is a lesbian

She is out of the closet and ain't afraid to fight on behalf of anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, you are all fucking amazing.

So one day you were super anxious whilst in the local cafe with Mirko and she kinda sensed it. She just recognised the constant fidgeting, not talking, avoiding eye contact and overall anxious vibes you were giving off

So she asked if you wanted to talk about anything

And you kind of just blurted out "I'm a lesbian"

She was kinda like 🧍🏽‍♀️ at first. Just a bit taken back by what you just said because it was so out of the blue (?) But she has had her suspicions

And then she just gave you the brightest smile she could muster and say "I fucking knew it. My gaydar was tingling"

Does a funny thing with her ears, like a satellite moving kinda thing

She overall just makes you feel super comfortable

If you ever get anxious about homophobia or judgement towards you she is there to back your ass up and make sure no one hurts you

(She might even have a lil crush on you)

MOMO

Okay this queen gives off bisexual vibes ngl

Like her relationship with Todoroki and her relationship with Jirou just kinda screams bisexual vibes (again don't @ me)

You two were kinda just chilling in her room

Studying and shit like that

You were usually okay at this type of work however the realisation of you being a lesbian was eating away at you

You were worried about judgement, homophobia and also people who just fetishise lesbians (mineta kinda screams of those vibes)

You didn't want to be known mainly for your sexuality either. You wanted to be known for what you can do, not your sexual orientation

But you felt as if you wanted to talk about it to at least 1 person

So you asked momo if you could tell her something. She obviously said yes and noticed your anxiety peak (she offered and made you some tea)

And you said "I think I'm a lesbian..."

At first she thought about it for a moment and you were fearful incase she was judging you

But then she stared at you with eyes that just screamed of "I'm so fucking proud of you"

She gave you a big hug, advice, support and helped comfort you with any issues

She even let you sleep over and just made you comfortable with who you are.

Uraraka

You two were actually cooking some food for everyone in 1A to eat

She kinda sensed something was up as you did a complete 180°

Your mood was low, you were anxious, struggling in class, no jokes, no laughter, you were sensitive and struggling to cope with training

So she was actually the one to ask

"Hey Y/N. Are you okay? You've been really down lately."

And it just pours out of you

Your happy that everyone else was too busy playing games (or holding bakugo down as kaminari may or may not of drawn on him whilst he was asleep)

She immediately hugs you and rubs your back

She gives you emotional support and tells you how strong you are for telling het this

She praises you for being so strong for speaking out and talking to her, and how she will always help it if you need help.

Gives you some mochi she bought (strawberry mochi)

And will be there if you ever need support

Tsuyu Asui

Tell me this girl isn't a lesbian, go ahead. I'll wait

LMFAO but in all seriousness she just genuinely screams of lesbian vibes to me

She has never really come out to the class.... they just kinda know and respect it (except mineta)

One day you build the courage to tell her whilst at rescue training

She was working with you to 'rescue' a dummy from a falling building

Once you two are alone and not in much of a hurry (it isn't a timed rescue) you kinda just turn to her and say "hey I'm a lesbian"

She legit just turns around and says "me too"

Nothing much really happens

But at the end of training she does come up to you and say that she is there if you ever need to talk

After a while of you two hanging out you guys kinda just hit it off with dating and once the rest if the class finds out they are kinda shocked, but also collectively proud of you two

Iida

You and Iida are already really close friends. Like you two hang out quite a bit and just feel close and comfortable with each other

You were one day scrolling through LGBTQ stuff on whatever app you want

And you read the comments.... let's just say they were extremely lesbophobic and fetishising

Many people saying they just need a man of to be corrected (all things I have actually been told irl... its disgusting)

And your anxiety just goes 📈

But you're also mad. Like why is your love something others hate? It doesn't harm anyone and why are they so affected by YOIr life? So in class after the morning of you seeing all that hateful stuff, you look pretty upset

At the end of class you are one of the last ones to leave but little do you know Iida is waiting for you outside

Legit goes into a speech about how he is the class rep so therefore it is apart of his duty to help you with whatever you are going through

He also speaks about how you can talk to him at any time as you two are close friends

So you tell him about EVERYTHING. All of the worries you face about being LGBTQ, all the hate that LGBTQ get, the fetishisation of lesbians and bow you don't want to be known as 'the lesbian hero'.

He stands there for a second trying to think of what to say to you

And you begin to walk away because you think his silence is him judging you

But he grabs you by the arm and pulls you into a hug

He promises that he will always be there to help you and swears down as class rep that he will do anything he possibly can to make you comfortable

(With your permission ofcourse) he begins to actually add more LGBTQ things to the dorms and even buys a rainbow pin that he pins to his school blazer.

Also lectures mineta A LOT about respecting women and LGBTQ people (specifically lesbians)

Kirishima

Okay so don't kill me, but in this headcanon kiri is gay (yes, kiribaku fight me, I take no L's)

But even though he was gay (and open to you about it) you were still exceptionally nervous about his opinion.

What if he thought you were disgusting due to being lesbian? What if it makes him uncomfortable? And you were still worried about homophobia.

You two were actually at the gym taking a breather when you finally built up the courage to tell him

He was one of your closest friends and the thought of not telling anyone you were a lesbian ate away at you.

Whilst hes taking a drink you turn to him and say

"You know how you're gay? I think I'm gay too....." it came put just above a whisper

At first he was confused.... like? You're a female

And then it clicked

He immediately started smiling, acting dopey and shit

Kept saying "I'm so proud of you" "happy you're out of the closet" and "we are the gae family"

But once you explained your fears to him he immediately took on the role of helping you out

He used his manliness to prove to you that he will help you out no matter what

Fron then on you knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt you.

Bakugou

Like I said fir kirishima, bakugo is gay in this headcanon

(Kiribaku ya know)

You two were sat in the common area alone bc everyone else was playing twister in kaminari's room, but you two..... were not prepared for that

Bakugo was watching some random show on the TV about pro heroes and the hardest villains ever beaten in battle whilst you were scrolling on your phone

Casually you were looking at LGBTQ stuff and just scrolling through the hashtag on instagram

Until a scrolling slideshow of a 'list' come up about why 'being gay was wrong '

Immediately you saw fucking RED

Everything they were spewing was bs like "gays are pedophiles", "they molest children" and "lesbians need to be corrected"

And so you broke put into a rant

Yelling about the morons of the world who genuinely believe this bs and you would not stop ranting....

Bakugo was sat there like 👀👀👀

He was honestly surprised to see you so pissed 'what a great ally' the thought

And then one line slipped from your mouth

"My sexuality isn't made for peoples fucking porn"

You stopped... bakugo stared.... silence

"You a lesbian?" His voice was as gruff as ever so you took that as a negative sign

"Yeah... what about it?"

"Nothing, it's fine. And congrats about fucking time you realised"

Then he went back to watching TV

After seeing you get upset and angry about homophobia he kept his eye out for you, threatening any pricks that would do shit to you

He would nearly beat minetas ass if he got close to you (mineta didn't even realise you were a lesbian lmaoo)

Whenever you're anxious he has made it known that he is there if you ever need to talk.

OOP, second one done WEHEY WEHEY!!! I hope you enjoyed. Many of my issues with my sexuality were actually projected into these headcanons. Let's just say being gay isn't fun especially when you can't come out ✌🏻

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lilallama · 3 years

Text

Valentines Day

TW: Obsessive behaviour, mentioning of stealing and slight homophobia, proceed with caution!

"Taehyung sweetie, wake up.~"

I groan and turn in my sheets, slowly regaining consciousness. "I've prepared you breakfast. Get dressed and come downstairs." The clacking of my mother's heels echoed through the hall as she went away. Groggily I sit up and stretch. I push my bangs out of my eyes I stare towards the window to my left. The sun shines through the thin curtains casting an orange light on my bedroom wall. I yawn and stand up, pulling the curtains aside and flooding the room with light. I take a moment to look outside, admiring our beautiful garden before remembering what day it is. Today is Valentines day! My God/Goddess asked me to meet up with them. Oh, spending Valentines with my saviour is the best thing to have ever happened to me!

I rush to pick out a white dress shirt, a khaki sweater vest with a black pair of slacks. After also brushing through my hair to untangle any knots I opened my secret Y/n shrine. The picture of their smiling face makes my heart pound so fast. They are otherworldly, absolutely ethereal! I take out a shirt of theirs which I borrowed a while ago. If I close my eyes it still smells like them, it's addictive.

Just to make sure that no items were robbed from their place I go through all items once again. Five chewed on pencils, a small box of empty wrappers, my 20 most favourite photos of them, the candle they accidentally bit into because they thought it was edible, the borrowed shirt, a pair of their underwear, a bunch of pins and hair ties they touched, the bundle of 36 hair strands I managed to collect (I only collect the hairs that have fallen out, I would never dare to cut or rip out my God's/Goddess' hair) and my water bottle which they drank out of (I had to buy a new one to keep this in my shrine but it was so worth it). All my items were there.

Suddenly I hear clacking and a small thud. I turn around in confusion, what just happened? But then I hear Yeontan's bark from the other side of the door. He ran against the door again. I can't help but laugh as I go to open the door for him. He jumps up a bit so I kneel down to pet him. "I'm meeting up with Y/n today, isn't that exciting!" Yeontan immediately started yapping, he loved my God/Goddess almost as much as I do. It's really incredible what an effect Y/n has on everyone, they all seem to love them. Well, then again that is expected to be the case considering Y/n is such a godly being.

"Taehyung!" "I'm coming!" My mother called me again. "Come on, boy." I hurry downstairs with Yeontan following me. "Good morning, Ma. Good morning, Pa." My father nodded at me while my mother beckoned me to sit down and eat. While I finish my breakfast my mother was talking about a lot of stuff. "Have you heard, they're trying to make gay marriage legal here. That is complete nonsense! God created a man and a woman for a reason." I have no clue what my mother was raging about. I concluded that she's probably just misinformed, Y/n said that being part of the lgbtq community is completely natural and alright. I know they know better than anyone else. "What's so bad about it, Ma?" My mother looked at me with horror. "They can't help who they're attracted to. It's all natural, isn't it?" My mother shook her head. "No!" She exclaimed, "Being gay or trans or something is inherently selfish! Gays are selfish! Men and women were created by God to conceive a child and stop the human kind from getting extinct. Trans are selfish! God gave you a body and you chose to change it in it's entirety! Such behaviour is unacceptable." "But I thought God loves everyo-" "Where have you even gotten that idea? Maybe you should go back to homeschooling. Clearly these other kids are having a bad influence on you." I look over to my father who just continues reading the newspaper. I respect my mother but she clearly isn't ready yet for the wisdom Y/n has bestowed upon me. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. "Look at the time we'll have to go now." Right, it was Sunday which means we're going to church. I always like going there, the windows astound me everytime. And the pastor is always so welcoming and friendly. I vividly remember asking him about the lgbtq community after Y/n had told me about them. He said that God loves everyone regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. He truly is a wise man.

As soon as we returned my father got a call from a business partner. They said they'd have to go now and want me to take Yeontan with me to my meet up. While I was a bit saddened that I couldn't be alone with my God/Goddess I decided it wouldn't be a problem.

Yeontan excitedly trots besides me as I make my way to the place where my saviour and I would meet up. I debated getting them a bouquet of red roses for Valentines day, but figured that the 20 letters, 12 stuffed animals and 18 bouquets I gave them during the past week would be enough, for now. As I make my way there I couldn't conceal the excitement I felt. Getting the chance to spend time with my Master/Mistress was something I believed I'd only ever dream about. The euphoria I feel from the mere thought of getting to see them today is dizzying.

Suddenly Yeontan starts barking and storms off. He never leaves my side, that's why he's not kept on a leash. To see him run away from me like that was surprising at best. But then I notice the reason for his behaviour. The puppy ran towards Y/n who was waiting for me a few metres away. How could I have just ignored my saviour like that! What I did was unacceptable. I would punish myself, but it would likely ruin Y/n's day, I can't let that happen. So I run after Yeontan, towards my God/Goddess.

"Good morning, Y/n! I'm sorry about him." I look down at Yeontan who's still getting pet by Y/n. He better cherish that they're even looking at him. It's bad enough that he practically demanded pats from them. So disrespectful. "No worries. He's so adorable!" At least Y/n seemed to enjoy his behaviour. I doubt it would work if I behaved that way towards them, but that's for another day to find out. "I dearly hope you didn't have to wait too long." They smile up at me. Oh, their smile is to die for. So incredibly perfect! I feel my knees getting weak. "Don't worry about it. I just arrived too." Yeontan started barking again and was noe excitedly jumping around, making Y/n laugh. "Awe! Yeontan is so adorable. I didn't know you'd take him with you." "It was unexpected for me as well." They stand up and take my hand. My heart is beating so fast, I feel as if I'm about to explode. It's getting harder to breathe. "Let's go now!" We start walking along the path with Yeontan rushing after us.

We sat outside a small café and each ordered our desired dessert. "Have you ever been on a date?" That question caught me off guard. "Oh, no. I haven't." I believe that much was quite obvious, but perhaps I was mistaken. They look surprised, shocked almost. "Really? How come? Aren't you getting asked out left and right?" "I suppose I just never had interest in anyone. I barely know those who ask me out. They're all so shallow to confess without knowing anything about me." Just then the waiter returned with our desserts. We thank him before we start eating.

Both of us watch as Yeontan is running around and playing in the snow. I look over to see Y/n smile at him, leading me to also smile. I adore their smile. Everything about them is so perfect. I could stare at them for hours and never get bored. Each detail is something new, something beautiful to discover. Unable to take y eyes off them I-

"Excuse me." Who dares interrupt my special time with my God/Goddess?! Two girls stood next our table. One almost cowering behind the other and mumbling something along the lines of, "Oh my god, no. Jess, don't." But I really couldn't care less. "My friend thinks you're really cute and was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with her." So annoying. I eye them down and make one thing clear. "I'm not interested." The girl cowering behind the other looked disappointed, perhaps ashamed. Good. She should be. After they interrupted my date with the Y/n they can go burn for all I care. "Have a good day." After the girls back away with the other girl exclaiming, "What a jerk!" I turn my attention back to Y/n. "Uhm, wasn't that a bit harsh?" They looked unsure. "Was it? I thought it was reasonable. Better to tell the truth than lead them on, am I correct?" They took another bite of their dessert. "I guess you're right."

We had a grand time strolling through the park, even having a snowball fight. They won. Obviously I could not compete with my God/Goddess, no one could ever. Yeontan was also very entertained as he kept trying to catch the snowballs as they flew over his head. Soon the sun began setting. It was incredible how fast the time flew by. Both our clothes were slightly damp due to the snow. I didn't think much about it untill Y/n began shivering. No no no no! My saviour could get sick, or die! I couldn't let that happen. I take off my jacket and gently place it over their shoulders. "But, won't you be cold?" I give them a reassured smile. "Don't worry about me, my God/Goddess. If I may, I'd love to accompany on your way home." They let out a bashful chuckle, making me melt. I feel my entire body heating up from that gorgeous chuckle. Their power over me is simply astounding.

All the way home I keep my arm atound them in hopes of providing some form of warmth for them. I cannot bear knowing that they're freezing. Never would I be able to forgive myself if they'd catch a cold. Yeontan was also slowly getting tired, which was by bo means a surprise considering how he played and jumped around all day. "Thank you for bring me home, Taehyung." Hearing them say my name makes my entire body tingle and flutter. "You do not have to thank me, Y/n. It was an honour!" Whatever I expected, it was not feeling their lips against mine. My mind went blank and I could barely stand. I felt dizzy, yet so so good! They gave me my jacket back after the short peck and laughed. "Goodnight!" Then they went inside and closed the door. I stood there for a moment, shocked at what had happened yet freling absolute bliss. After a minute or so I manage to finally pull myself together. I put on my jacket, it smells like them! And then I picked Yeontan up and walked home.

Oh, this day was the best I've ever had!

If you liked my work please reblog! 💌

#yandere bts #cooking club #yandere taehyung #yandere v #valentine week

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