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#nomad!captain america x reader
fandoms-writings · 4 months
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Pursuit
Pairing: Nomad!Steve x Agent!Reader
Word Count: 1.7K
Summary: Requested by anon - "Don't go where I can't follow, I thought I lost you"/"Honey, you're exhausted, go back to sleep."
Warnings: it's angsty, reader curses, but that's about it.
A/N: I promise I'm working on getting through these requests, life is just insane rn and i've been trying to get into some digital art, so i'm a little busy rn.
Masterpost
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The second Steve stepped through the door of their latest safehouse, he knew something was off. The hair on the back of his neck stood at attention and he honed in all of his senses to focus on his surroundings. The others were still on their way, they'd all taken different routes here to at least try not to bring attention here, though it seemed like that didn't matter in the end. 
If the house was compromised, they'd need to make a swift exit, hopefully without killing anyone. But that also meant they had one last place they could safely hide from SHIELD. 
He steeled himself before taking cautious steps through the front room, back to the kitchen where he would check the dining room before heading up the stairs to clear the bedrooms. But there was something that caught his attention in the dining room. 
It looked like someone was seated there at the table in the dark. He clenched his fist, bracing himself for whatever was coming, and turned the light on. 
He thought he'd been found, that sitting at the table was an agent, waiting to bring him in. Or maybe even a Hydra agent, ready to kill him. For a second, he thought Nat could've been there - she did like to scare the crap out of him every now and then. 
But when that light turned on, it was worse than any of those outcomes. It was a sight that had his heart aching in his chest. 
You were seated at the table, staring at him with a gaze of steel, your hands folded over a gun on the table. 
He took a breath to steady himself from the shock of seeing you before taking a tentative step into the room. He didn't think he'd ever see you again if he was being honest with himself, not after he left SHIELD. 
"You were harder to track down than I thought you'd be," Your voice filled the room and he barely kept himself from flinching. You never spoke to him like this, cold and emotionless, he'd heard it in interrogations that you lead, but it was never aimed at him. "I suppose Nat's to thank for that." 
"What are you doing here?" He asked, trying to take a subtle glance around the room to see if you'd bought anyone with you. 
"It's just us, you can stop being paranoid." 
He glanced back to you, only letting his shoulders drop slightly before he gripped the back of the chair in front of him. "Why are you here?" 
You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "Not even a 'hey baby, i missed you' huh?" You leaned back in your chair, folding your arms across your chest, "No, 'sorry I left you behind when we went on the run'?" 
He sighed, hanging his head. "I didn't want to leave you there." He muttered. 
"Bull shit," You snapped, "You know I would've dropped everything for you." 
He nodded at his feet, "I know. I'm sorry." 
"Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time, Steve." 
He lifted his head to look at you when your voice broke over his name, the tension in his shoulders from the day falling, replaced by a new stress. The way you were looking at him was devastating. Your jaw was clenched as you fought the wobble in your lips. The bags under your eyes were more prominent than he'd ever seen before, and your chest was heaving in uneven breaths as you kept yourself together. 
"I know," He started, "I know an apology isn't enough. But I am sorry." Slowly, he rounded the table until he stood three from you, his eyes glancing down to your shaking hands as you gripped your arms. "I wanted to come get you, but I didn't know if your department had been compromised or not. I also didn't want to force you to become federally wanted by the government, and there definitely wasn't enough time to talk about it." 
You were silent, watching him out of the corner of your eye as he pulled out the chair next to you, taking a seat and leaning his elbows on his knees. 
"The plan was to contact you when things calmed down," He explained, "It's just taken a lot longer than I thought it would." 
You let out a wet scoff, your voice tight as you said, "You're Captain America, Steven, on the run. What did you think? That they'd forget about you after a few days?" 
The attitude, the sass you gave him warmed his heart a bit - it meant you weren't so mad at him that it wasn't fixable, so he let out a small breath. 
"I don't know," He muttered, "With everything going on, I guess I didn't really think about it." 
"No shit." Your voice broke and he watched the first tear break through your lashes. He reached up, brushing it away with his knuckles before cupping your face, his heart aching in his chest like it was trying to reach for yours. They'd been off the grid for weeks now - weeks that he hadn't been able to hold you, to kiss you, to just be with you. 
"I'm so sorry, baby," He whispered, leaning so far forward that he slid out of his chair, gently landing on his knees in front of you. 
"Did you really think I wouldn't come for you?" You asked and he shook head. 
"I wasn't sure," he muttered, "I didn't know how tight of a leash they'd have on you because of who you are to me." His brows pulled together in thought and his paranoia began to creep back up the back of his neck. "How did you get out?" 
You smirked down at him, not bothering to wipe at the tears he was catching with his knuckles, "Don't you remember who trained me?" 
He huffed a laugh at that. Nat had trained you when you first joined SHIELD - before he was even brought out of the ice. And you two were like peas in a pod. But when you started dating Steve, the higher ups moved you to a different department, to avoid internal conflict and possible distraction in the field. 
He had no doubt that you didn't leave a trail here - hell, you could've even faked your death to get out from under their thumb. But as he stared up at you, at those tears still falling and the exhaustion swimming in your eyes, he decided that was a talk for tomorrow. Maybe even the day after. 
You reached up to grip his wrists tight, your smirk falling, "Don't you ever go where I can't follow," your voice cracked as you struggled to keep it even. Immediately he understood you were talking about how they vanished into Wakanda to drop off Bucky. Even if you had been tailing them, which you probably were by then, you wouldn't have gotten in without T'Challa's approval. "I thought I lost you." 
All the breath was forced from his lungs as his chest caved. He pulled your head into the crook of his neck, keeping one hand to the back of your head and the other wrapping around to grip at the back of your kevlar suit. Your arms wound around him, holding him so tight, like you were scared he'd vanish again. 
"I won't," He promised the words into the kevlar covering your neck, "I promise." 
He held you like that until his knees went numb, pins and needles starting in his calves and feet, and he pulled away from you, standing again. He pulled you from your chair, taking you upstairs to one of the bedrooms with an adjoining bathroom. 
He showered with you, your eyes barely able to stay open as he peeled off your kevlar for you and washed the dirt and oils and who knew what else from your hair before soaping up the rest of you. Once he had the both of you clean and dry, he tucked you into the bed, curling around behind you, clinging to you. 
He'd been trying so hard not to think about how much he missed you these past few weeks. Focusing so much on keeping those who ran with him hidden and alive that having you here like this, asleep in his hold again, he realized just how much his heart ached for you. How much his soul itself had been crying out for you. 
And now you were here, in his arms as he finally let the fear of never seeing you again go. The fear that you'd been corrupted by the system. That you'd been compromised, or worse. 
He let it all go, savoring the time he had with you before there was a small knock on the door. The pattern of knocks told him it was Nat. 
Trying not to wake you as he got up was a fruitless effort as you turned to face his retreating form and you sat up. 
"Steve?" He turned back to you, "Where are you going?"
Your voice was so small, so tired but so nervous as you asked, the question hitting him in the chest. He walked back to you, cupping your cheeks and placing a kiss on the top of your head. 
"I'm just going to talk to Nat, I'll be right back," He gave you a small smile, "I promise." 
"I want to see her," You tried to get free of his hold to get out of bed but he stopped you. 
"You're exhausted honey," He said, softly pushing you to lie back down, "Go back to sleep. She'll be here in the morning, I'll make sure of it." 
"Okay," You sighed, submitting to the fatigue in your body as you easily slipped back to sleep. He pulled the blankets over you, tucking you back in before heading for the door again. 
His hand gripped the handle, and he turned back to look at you peacefully sleeping, smiling to himself before preparing to hear what the others had been through on their way here. 
Being on the run was going to be rough, and people would be pushed to their limits, but you were with him. And that's all he cared about now.
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As always, thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are all appreciated!
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navybrat817 · 15 days
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Steve + 9. "Don't even think about getting out of the car."
Oh, Eva. 🫠
Direct Order
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader
Summary: Steve doesn't like that you ignored his direct order.
Word Count: Almost 900
Warnings: Arguing, slight angst, stubbornness, slight feels (it's me), Steve Rogers (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: Another overprotective prompt ficlet. Thanks, Eva! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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The night air was cool and refreshing as you rolled the window down, but it went back up before you could appreciate the breeze against your skin. You shot Steve a glare who didn't acknowledge you as he drove. You didn't like uncomfortable silence, but you didn't attempt to fill the time with small talk. Not since he decided to rip you a new one in front of the team an hour ago.
You just wanted to go home.
“You have nothing to say?” Steve asked, his voice low. “Must be killing you to go this long without talking.”
You fought the urge to kick the dashboard since the car didn't do anything to you and smacking him could cause an accident. “And it must be killing you that I didn't fall in line today like a perfect little soldier,” you said with a sardonic smile. “Or would you prefer I act like a doll?”
“You ignored my direct order,” he growled as he gripped the steering wheel. For a moment you thought he’d bend or rip it away. “What the hell were you thinking?”
You sneered before facing forward. “Jesus Christ, give it a rest. You berated me enough on the quinjet and I don't need to hear it again.”
He took his eyes off the road long enough for you to see the anger brewing. “Damn right I berated you because you never listen to me.”
The tension thickened. You didn't typically argue with Steve. You went against him once and now he was saying you never listened to him? Where the hell did he get off?
“Don’t you dare lecture me about not listening to you when you’re the one who never listens to anyone,” you argued, feeling a hint of satisfaction when he clenched his jaw. “And I made the right call. I stand by that.”
The mission was a success because of your decision.
“You don't make the calls. That isn't your job,” he snapped, the tires squealing as he made a rough turn. “You could've been hurt or worse. Don't you get that?! You can be so stubborn sometimes.”
“But I wasn't hurt! And me being stubborn? Pot meet fucking kettle, Rogers!”
“Captain,” he said through his perfect teeth.
“Captain,” you scoffed, your blood boiling. “You are not my Captain right now. You're just some guy who wormed his way into driving me home after running his mouth.”
You shrieked when he slammed on the brakes, bracing yourself on the dash when he ran a hand through his blonde hair and bitterly chuckled. It was a foreign sound coming from him. One that made you shut your mouth. “Some guy? Now I’m just some guy?”
Concern flickered across your face. Yeah, you were mad, but you didn't have to push. “Steve. I mean, Captain, I-”
“I’m not just some guy and I’m not just your Captain,” he cut you off, stopping you when you reached for the door handle. “Don't even think about getting out of the car. We’re not done yet.”
“Why should I stay? So you can snap at me some more?” You mumbled. “Would you treat Bucky or Sam or anyone else like this?”
It wasn't fair to try and make him feel bad. He was your leader for a reason and he gave you an order. You didn't follow it. He had every right to be pissed off. By all means he had the right to bench you, too.
But why was he taking it personally?
All the anger fell from Steve’s face as he leaned across the seat more. “I’m sorry.”
Your gaze softened, too. “Why are you sorry?”
“For snapping the way I did,” he said with a shake of his head. “You just scared me today. I get scared every time you go into the field, but that was the first time you…”
“Didn’t listen,” you finished for him, your heart pounding when you realized just how close he was. If he leaned in any closer, his lips would be against yours.
“And you are right. I have a hard time listening to others myself,” he said, smiling when you snorted. “But I don't give you orders for you to act like a perfect soldier or doll. Just like I don't give Bucky or Sam or anyone else orders just to have things done my way. I do it to keep you as safe as possible. It would break my heart if something happened to you, sweetheart.”
Your eyes went wide. “Did you just call me ‘sweetheart’?” You asked, your stomach doing a funny flip.
He chuckled, the sound much warmer than before. “So, you do listen.”
“Most of the time,” you teased, staring into his eyes. You could see how much he cared. No wonder he took this mission to heart.
“Arguing aside, you did well,” he praised, which sent heat to your cheeks.
“Thank you, Captain. I’m sorry I scared you.”
“I’ll forgive you for ignoring my orders if you let me walk you to your door.”
“And I'll forgive you for snapping at me in front of the team if you come inside and have a drink,” you countered.
You didn't expect him to move his mouth to your ear. “I’ll only come inside if you say ‘please’,” he whispered, sending a shiver down your spine. “And that's a direct order.”
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Yes, sir. ❤️‍🔥 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Steve Rogers Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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frostironfudge · 1 year
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I Need You To Listen - Steve Rogers
Summary: For @the-slumberparty 's Week 3 Something New Challenge, I went with the medium mode - sex pollen but with exes to lovers. This took alot of work I ended up rewriting it entirely, I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 7.4k || Dividers: @firefly-graphics
Pairing: Nomad!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ minors dni, smut, angst, smut, fluff, sex pollen, p in v, fingering, dirty talk, love bites, steve rogers dirty talking (this man), swearing, nipple play, past is in italics, sort of a post civil war rewrite so we're going completely off canon
Main Masterlist || AO3
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Fate works in the most hilarious of ways, a stubbed toe over here and a broken heart still being nursed over there. 
Tony Stark stands in front of your cell, staring at you through the glass. You don’t hold back your tears from him. Disappointment colours his features. 
Broken pieces of trust lay scattered on the floor. The damage by him was done. Leaving you to bear the brunt. Leaving you to walk on the jagged edges of the broken family. 
A family that shared jokes, laughed, drank and protected each other. 
Won together. 
Lost together. 
In the past few days died together. 
“How are you holding up?” His arc reactor gleams as he takes a seat on the stool. Unzipping the jacket he wears his arm in a sling. You close your eyes, more tears fall at the memory of the fight. An involuntary shiver as the chiling bite of the cold manifests itself from your memory. 
The cell isn’t uncomfortable. There is a cot in the corner, the bathroom has a door. The sterile scent of the cleaning agent stopped giving you a headache hours ago. 
“Why are you asking me?” You look at him, he should be mad, he should yell, call you a traitor. 
“Contrary to what you all think and did to me, I trust you.” He shrugs, left eye twitching, he rolls his shoulder. 
“How is the arm?” Your gaze falls to it. 
“Seen better days. You know, heart troubles.” He looks at Wanda’s cell, “Kid, Vis is asking about you.” 
She looks up at him, “Is Rhodes alright?” 
Tony presses his lips into a thin line, shaking his head. 
Wanda looks down at her hands. 
“He tore us apart. That Baron Zemo. I know you have a lot to learn, alot to grieve. The accords may be dissolved. I’m working on it. At SI we’re  preparing the bail documents.” He informs you all. 
Sam scoffs, “What about Cap and Barnes?” 
“James is in recovery as per my last conversation with T’Challa. Where Cap and Nat are I do not know nor does he.” Tony gazes back at you. 
“I trusted him.” Is all you can say to him. You stare at your palms, you couldn’t get the blood off. 
“I know, I did too.” 
“Tony.” Your lips quiver another sob at the heartbreak Steve left you with to deal. All alone. 
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Bucky fights Tony, you don’t want to see your best friend hurt. The man who took you under his wing when you joined in, your steps halted by the blonde haired man who harbours your heart. 
“Sign the accords.” Steve orders, you gape at him. 
“Steve, do you fucking realise? We’re here because I didn’t sign them because I am siding with you?” You almost yell. The tempreture drops as the snow cascades into the facility from the now broken windows. 
Bucky lands on the floor, a pained groan, his arm blasted off. He kneels, eyes widened at the implication. At the man he hurt irreparablely being the one to take away one of the curses HYDRA bestowed upon him. 
“Shit!” Your eyes move to Tony, slowly he rises from the floor. The suit broken in several places. 
“Y/N, you need to listen. You cannot go rogue with me.” 
“Steve,” You push his arm away you had to intervene. 
“It was good while it lasted.” He says and everything turns to static. 
“Wh-what?” 
“Look, I, we had a good run but I know your stance on the accords you’re just with me for the sole reason we’re together.” Steve says to you. 
“Are you serious right now?” Anger courses through you, your grip on your pistol tightens. 
“It's not even the accords. I, I didn’t think we would make it beyond this month. Look, I have to think about Bucky. Its all of this, it doesn’t, priorities.” He lunges over to defend Bucky leaving you defenceless. Your ears ringing, you watch as they fight, you can’t hear any of the clangs the groans. 
You stand there dumbfounded. 
As Steve throws Tony down the beam reflects off of his shield and hits you on the shoulder you’re thrown against the wall. Bucky meets your eyes, at least he seems apologetic.  
Tony tries to get up to help you, “Rogers, she’s hurt—,” The shield slams against the arc reactor. 
“I don’t care.” He says so easily.
You pant as the pain increases, both the burn and sting of his words as well as the physical injuries manifesting across you. 
Steve helps Bucky up, you try to push yourself to your knees, crawling to Tony while keeping your arm close to your body. 
Bucky looks back at you, his eyes convey his remorse. Tony breathes hard, you blink back tears at the glance Steve doesn’t spare towards you. 
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Eight months down the drain.
The morning kisses, cuddles, the random sketches of you he left as gifts all lose their importance. Remembrance only causes pain. 
“Mr. Stark, you need to leave.” 
Tony sighs, “I’ll visit, or I’ll have you guys out before that. Work some arrangement.” 
“I’m so sorry, Tony.” You look at his arm and back at his face. 
He gives you one of those sad smiles of his, the one where he pretends it's just another day, another common thing. 
“Aren’t you foolish to trust us again?” Sam questions him as Tony passes by his cell. 
“I just have to do my job. It’s the people who have to trust us.” Tony turns to face Sam. 
“So the people trust the missile maker millionaire Stark?” Sam knows the jab is stinging, Tony hated 
that about the company’s past. 
The rift was ever present, your friend looks towards you. 
“Y/N, let him know not to insult me, I’m a billionaire.” He grabs his glasses and moves away. 
You resist the urge to laugh, everyone would resort to their coping mechanisms. You’d have to bide your time here. Usually getting black out drunk was how you solved your own problems. 
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True to his word Tony has you all released on various conditions. You, Scott and Wanda are released together. 
When you reach the tower it isn’t surprising that there was a break in, you’d scoff that Steve didn’t come to break you out but he made his decision in Siberia. 
The faint scent of his cologne lingers in your room. Hints of Patchouli and Bergamot. You stare at the box on your bed. 
Opening it reveals a burner phone. 
“I got a burner too, one number loaded upon it.” Tony stands at the door holding a glass of scotch for himself and your favourite Vodka in a bottle. 
“Surprised he bothered.” You open the phone and it chimes an unread text upon it. 
“I didn’t get that.” He observes, you take the bottle from him. 
Opening the text. 
SGR: I want to talk to you. Please let me explain. 
You laugh bitterly, unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip. At least you can blame these tears on the alcohol. 
“Are you going to? Call him I mean.” Tony settles on your desk chair. 
“Nope.” You set your bottle down after three more sips, grabbing the edges of the opened flip phone you press. The phone snaps from its hinges and you place it back down in the box, “Did you track it?” 
“Fake return address.” He twirls the ice in his drink. 
The two of you bask in the silence. Drinking in tandem and out of sync. 
“Were you going to sign the Accords?” You ask after a while staring at the setting sun. 
“Nope,” He reaches for your bottle, pouring himself a peg, “I was having them redrafted. Steve only had to agree for them to shut up. My draft would have gotten approved.” 
“So confident.” You raise your brows. 
“Comes with the job title.” He rolls his eyes. 
“Do you think anyone will trust anyone?” You tap the bottle neck. 
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Steve’s laughter reverberates against your chest. He reaches up to cup your face. 
“Why is it so amusing?” You ask, not meeting his eyes. 
“Because it is, Poppet. I wouldn’t break your heart.” He assures yet again. 
You gnaw at your bottom lip trust was difficult to come by for you. 
“You want to know why?” He whispers, making you meet his gaze. His nose brushing against your own. 
“Because I have your heart and it's what is keeping me alive.” 
You lean closer, pressing your lips to his, Steve kisses you back. Hands pulling you closer. You feel his smile between the kisses and you begin to retract knowing what he was upto but it’s too late. 
Steve tickles your sides and laughter blubbers from your chest. He grins, cheeks flushed as you press against him. The thin sheet hides nothing from the way you feel. 
“I love you.” He says, you stroke his cheek with your thumb.
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“I loved him with everything in me.” You blubber out, tears falling down. 
Tony sits next to you, your head rests on his good shoulder, “I know you did. It's a hard road ahead, kid. Not an undoable one.” 
“I hate him.” You declare, “I hate him, he just, how could he be so selfish?” 
“Sometimes we all are, he is in the wrong. He didn’t exactly reciprocate the trust.” Tony sighs, you look up at him. 
“I’m sorry about your parents.” You watch him give you those sad smiles, he flexes and extends the fingers of his left hand. 
“He could have told me, I trusted him enough that he could.” He whispers then shakes his head. 
“Steve Rogers is an asshole.” You declare raising your bottle to his assholery. Then you giggle. 
“You just thought of the word assholery didn’t you?” Tony giggles as well. 
Both of you burst out laughing. 
“Hey Tone?” You ask mid laughter. 
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for being here, also can I get a box?”
“Sure.” He stands, FRIDAY has the box led by one of his tinkered bots to the room. 
“I need to check on Rhodey.” He says, “I’m a call away okay?” 
You nod, he leaves. The box stays on your bed and then you stare at the sketches hung around your room. With a delicateness that Steve didn’t spare towards you, you pack up the papers. Sealing the box with plastic wrap and head down to the safety deposit lockers. 
Your steps are misjudged and you drop your box of trinkets several times. The stupid ceramic mug from that couples pottery class probably shattered. 
You giggle thinking how it resembles your heart. 
Locking the box leaves you in silence. Your room is void of all things Steve except the one shirt he gave you on your first mission together where the two of you fell into the muddled waters that left the two of you in need to change out of clothes. 
The shirt smells like him, you curl up with it on your pillow. 
“This is the last time you gave your heart away.” You tell yourself. 
“This is the last time you cry over him.” You promise yourself. 
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Eight months pass and you all sit in the conference room. The accords are abolished. They reinstate Natasha, Sharon, James, Sam and him. Tony holds his flip phone. Resorting to texting rather than speaking to him. 
A reply comes when you all are back at the tower. They’d be there tomorrow. Rooms are prepared with favourite foods stocked up. You had requested your room be shifted away to another level. 
Heart ache didn’t manifest beyond those few nights. 
Your walls that Steve Rogers broke down were built back stronger. Impenetrable. His shirt was placed in his room by you a month into getting over him. 
You don’t pass by the floor, you’re a level above. Thankfully the elevators divide the levels they service and you won’t ever be on the same floor as him. 
The night is restless despite your indifference to all of them. They were the family you chose and yet you were abandoned by them. 
Dreams are but a loop of memories you have buried. 
After your morning laps you head to Tony’s lab. 
“They will be dropping in at SHIELD first. Fury wants to discuss some things and then they come back here.” He stifles a yawn. 
“You need caffeine my friend.” You hold up the coffees, “Luckily I come bearing gifts.”
“I love you.” He whispers gingerly while taking the cup. 
“Are you talking to the coffee or me?” You ask, taking a sip of your own. 
“I can love both.” He defends, whispering to the coffee he loves it more. 
You throw one of his discarded paper balls on him. It doesn’t phase him. 
“Are you sure you want to come along?” He asks for the umpteenth time on the drive to SHIELD. 
“Tony, I will leave you behind if you ask me again.” You glare at him. 
“I think you will be fine.” Vision assures a gentle smile on his face and he laces his fingers with Wanda. She smiles at him, her own mind filled with thoughts. 
“See we’ll be okay.” You declare. 
Minutes later you’re seated on one side of the conference room. Tony on the first seat, you on the second. Vision opts to stand behind Wanda as she sits. 
Fury sits at the head of the table. The door opens and Natasha, Sam and Steve step into the room. A thick silence settles over. You look at each of them and then back at Fury. 
Natasha’s hair is shorter and blond, Sam seems to have gotten leaner. Steve was sporting a beard and longer hair. 
You wondered if the post break up look was something you should have gone for, maybe dyed your hair blue.
“Well, as you know you all have been reinstated. The Avengers operate without any Accords binding them but they must be mindful of their poweress and the possible damage they may cause. A country has full discretion to forbid the Avengers from subduing threats that may lead them there and you must honour that no matter the cost.” Fury gazes at you all. 
“What if they need help?” Steve questions, you scoff. 
Cold blues flash to you. You roll your eyes. 
“The dissolution of the Accords was done keeping this one rule in mind. I suggest you make peace with it. You will not be able to save everyone from damage and hurt, it is better than causing it.” Tony adds. 
Steve’s jaw tightens. He nods. 
“Now since this is done and dusted. Official missions may resume.” Fury places down a manila folder. 
“Official?” Sam questions, raising a brow. 
“Agent Y/L/N here was liasoning with us for recon purposes. Kept under wraps. We have identified HYRA bases. Once the plans are sanctioned you all will be back on duty.” Nick sighs, “I suggest you all train together to get a sense of your skill sets and moves again.” 
No one nods. 
Nick shakes his head leaving the room. 
“Your old rooms have been cleaned at the tower. Access is via FRIDAY, food is stocked. Layout’s almost the same. Few changes here and there. Oh and there are new succulents in the living room.” Tony fiddles with the folder. 
“We can conduct a meeting about these missions tonight or tomorrow. You all settle in, there is a car outside and your vehicles are in pristine condition at the garage.” He informs them further. 
“No welcome back party?” Nat muses, you laugh. 
“I drank all the liquor so unfortunately no parties.” You deadpan. 
Nat and Sam stare at you. 
“It has been a difficult few months. I understand everyone will take time to return to a semblance of previous normalcy.” Vision’s words are both reassuring but also farfetched. 
Wanda grasps his hand and gives it a squeeze. 
Steve’s brows furrow in worry. He observes you trying to find any hints but you give him none. You learned to school yourself. An agent well versed in hiding her intent, emotions and aim. Your skillset is what brought you to the team and it is what you have. It's what you could trust. 
Sam nods, “Well best we head back.” 
“Yes we could use some sleep.” Natasha says, you flash her a smile. 
“Yep, well I have a few things to discuss with Fury.” You push away from the table first. Tony follows your lead. 
“Should you not include us in the conversation?” Steve says in his authoritative baritone. 
“Unfortunately, Captain, it isn’t an Avengers matter but a personal one. Which you aren’t entitled to know.” You spit back. 
His mouth opens again to speak. 
Tony beats him to it, “Where’s our Manchurian candidate?” 
“Bucky’s in the UK for a bit, after Wakanda we were there for a while. He stayed back for personal reasons.” Steve explains and you slip out. 
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Steve stares at your room door, knocking on it yet again. Two weeks since his return and you had avoided him in every capacity.
He had worked up the courage to knock on your door today. But there was no response as it was over the past fifteen minutes. He requests FRIDAY to check in and all the AI says is that you’re fine.
You had gotten back from a mission yesterday morning. You had to have been resting. 
“Why won’t she open her door then?” He mutters, pressing his forehead to your door, “Poppet, I just want to speak to you. Please.”
“Captain.” Vision greets floating out of Wanda’s room.
“Vision.” He acknowledges.
“Why are you knocking on an empty room’s door?” Vision tilts his head. 
Steve blinks at him, “This is Y/N’s room.” he states as if obvious.
“It isn’t, she switched rooms about three months ago.” Vision says
Before Steve can ask anything further, Wanda opens her door, “Vis.” She gestures with her hand for him to return.
“Wanda.” He walks to her this time.
“FRIDAY, where is Y/N’s new room?” Steve questions walking to the elevators. 
“She’s on the twenty-fifth floor.” The AI responds, he switches to the other elevator. 
“Captain, you will have to go to the ground floor to switch elevators.” FRIDAY informs him. 
Steve sighs moving back in front of the original elevator. It stops at every single floor; he almost misses the elevator as you’re getting on, luckily a Stark Industries employee holds the door for him. 
You bite the inside of your cheek. Looking away. 
“I want to talk.” He says over the all too silent but crowded elevator. 
Everyone looks at him except you. They follow his gaze to you. 
“I don’t.” You answer while staring at the numbers. 
“Poppet.” He says and you shoot him a glare before looking away again. 
People trickle in and out. 
Steve’s gaze is trained upon you. He nods politely at those greeting him but his gaze nerver strays from you. 
You look into your phone pulling up a forgotten game loaded into the device. Anything. Any stupid thing to avoid him. 
Finally it's just the two of you. 
The automated air freshener hisses filling the space with the scent of lavender. 
“Poppet I just want to explain—,” Steve steps closer, his hand outstretched. 
“No. I don’t fucking want to hear a word.” You seethe, you move forward pressing the button to your floor if it makes you reach quicker. 
“Poppet.��� He grabs your hand, turning you towards him. 
“Y/N. Use my damn name.” You spit out, finally meeting his eyes. 
There is a tick in his jaw, he nods, “Y/N. Just five minutes. I know I don’t deserve it—,”
“You don’t deserve to even ask for a minute of my time. You never saw us work beyond that month correct? Well guess what? We don’t.” You push at his chest, he doesn’t budge. 
“I lied. I said those things so you wouldn’t follow. I could not have you living rogue with me.” Steve admits, you stare at him. 
“You lied?” You repeat. 
“I didn’t want to break things off but that was the only way I could ensure you wouldn’t follow behind me. It was dangerous. Poppet—Y/N,” he corrects, “I told you your heart kept me alive, I love you—,” 
Steve’s head snaps to the side, cheek turning red at the impact of your slap. You breathe hard, eyes tearing up. 
“That was not for you to fucking decide, you do not get to come back here and make your sorry excuses for being a horrible human being. Betraying my trust. Leaving me and your friend injured. You picked Bucky over us. You picked Bucky over me and I understand I would pick him too if I were you. But I would not fucking lie or leave my girlfriend and best friend behind injured horribly. You’re welcome back to the compound Steve. Even back to your glorious Captain America title. However,” 
The doors open to your floor, you step out. 
“I don’t know how you say you’re alive because I took my fucking heart back from your undeserving self. I don’t care if you lied, I don’t care if it was all fun and games. I don't care about you. I don’t want to care about you. You are a teammate because I am forced to consider you one. I don’t need to listen to you to provide you closure or a second chance. You fucking liar!” 
“Poppet,” Steve reaches for you again, you take off running to your door. 
“FRIDAY, deny access. Override only with Tony.” You order, the locks on your doors bolt and Steve keeps knocking and pleading. 
He sinks to his knees outside your door apologising over and over. 
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Natasha is pinned to the floor by Wanda as the latter grins triumphantly. Natasha praises her and they break apart. You take Wanda’s place and Sam takes Natasha’s place. 
Mixed training was now mandatory. 
You had almost burned Nick Fury with your glare. Steve hadn’t shown up to any, in fact he hardly was in the same room as you. 
Sam goes full offence, you block the blows. Defending yourself you had worked hard over the time away from official duties. 
Minutes pass by, neither of you yields. Panting you stare at Sam waiting for an opening to take him down. 
“Come on, that's all you got, little spy?” Sam teases, you laugh. 
“You wish birdy.” You stick your tongue out childishly. Wanda and Nat laugh. 
“Come on Wilson.” Nat prompts, “We’re bored here.” 
“Alright,” Sam moves, pulling a fake. You catch it a moment too late, as he’s about to tackle you to the ground you turn. Tugging on his arm as Sam’s eyes widen. 
The momentum thrown off both of you land on your sides, recovering swiftly he’s pinned to the ground by you. 
You grin at him. 
“How's that birdy?” You laugh at his irritation. Sam rolls his eyes. 
“Y/N.” 
Everyone’s heads snap to the door, Steve and Tony stand there. 
You help Sam up. Sam keeps an arm around your shoulder. Steve’s eyes linger and his fists clench. 
Sam takes his arm away. 
You roll your eyes, they land on Tony as he bites his cheek, oh this can’t be good you deem. 
“Wheels up in an hour for Rogers and you.” He delivers the news. 
“Sam, Nat, Vis and Wanda are needed to take on a bigger base with Tony.” Steve looks at you, “Fury’s orders before you try to whine your way out if it.” 
You glare at him, “Alright.” 
An hour later you’re on the jet with Steve. He doesn’t talk. The last conversation between the two of you was enough. 
“We won’t be splitting up.” Steve informs you. You nod, studying the layout. 
You frown in recognition. 
“I was here on recon. This is supposed to be a dead base.” You look up at him. 
“Fury said they detected activity.” He looks back ahead. 
“Hopefully it's just random people looking for shelter.” You look back at the plans. 
Steve hums, observing you again. Wishing it would be like before where the two of you would be holding hands. 
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Cobwebs litter the walls, plaster cracked. The scent of something decaying permeates through the space. 
Walking into the HYDRA base is carefully crafted, Steve leads with his shield. You keep a double check on the back trail. Something was not sitting right with you. 
The hallway diverges, you stand next to Steve, “Left side first then we can go right.” You whisper. 
He nods, “Stay close, I don’t know why something feels wrong.”
You don’t verbalise your own feelings, following in his footsteps. 
The hallway leads to an abandoned lab, the computers torn down and broken apart. Steve relaxes his defensive stance looking around the area. 
You move carefully through the edge of the room, “Something should be of value here.” 
“I don’t think there is anything.” Steve declares, “Let's clear the other pathway.”
You give another once over and then follow him back down the path. 
Your boot catches on the uneven flooring, “Shit!” You whisper yell as you fall forward. 
Steve turns, breaking your fall. You land against his chest and his arm encircles your waist. For a moment that echoes a broken promise of eternity he holds you close to him. 
Steve sneaks a moment he lost over a stupid decision. He takes what crumbs he’s given by fate. 
Your palm is against his chest, your head tucked against the crook of his neck. 
Why can't you move away?
Why do you want more of him? 
Why do you miss him? 
He hurt you. 
He lied. 
He hurt you. 
You break the eternity Steve was living as you pull away, silence stretches between the two of you as you head down the other hallway. 
It's empty yet again, you shake your head at the waste of time. Steve steps closer to the vials on the shelf. The liquid in them gleams a certain way. 
You hear a pneumatic hiss from your left. You turn quietly making your way to the wall. 
Steve studies the shelf again. There was no dust on it. No pattern on it. These were fresh vials. Then his eyes widened, “Y/N don’t!” 
You turn to face him when the hiss is louder and the slits of the vent open. A dust like substance pours over floating around you. 
A coughing fit grips you, you place your hand against the wall to steady yourself the gun falls as you clutch your chest wheezing. 
Steve pads over to you, trying to rub your back to ease the coughing fit. He asks FRIDAY to scan the micro dust to see if it is anything dangerous. 
The coughing fit subsides over a few minutes, your breathing shallow. You look up at Steve blinking away the tears. He cups your cheek.
“Are you okay? Do you feel anything?” He questions, gaze running over every aspect of you. Glove clad large palms moving over your form. You nod, but then your stomach cramps. 
“What is it?” Steve takes not of your discomfort. 
“I, it's my stomach—,” Your words are cut off by a whimper as the cramp gains severity. You lean more against the wall as the cramp travels across. 
Steve rummages through his mind to know what this substance could be, he had been to HYDRA bases before. He spoke to Bucky all about them, their experiments which he knew. 
He watches as your skin flushes, you squirm in his grasp. He steps closer to support you. 
“Poppet?” Steve makes you look up at him, your eyes have a dazed look almost glazed over. You feel his warmth through your tactical suit. His thigh between your legs and the ache the needy ache is all you know and you need to get rid of it. 
“Please,” You plead to him gazing at his slightly blurred blue eyes, your hips moving out of their own accord against his thigh you moan as your core makes contact with him. 
Steve pushes your hips away, “Poppet what—,” 
“Steve, it hurts so badly. Please,” You cry out wiggling against his hold. His fingers dig into your hips to keep you in place. 
Your palms cover his, you look up at him. 
You lean up, he shifts back. You use the distraction to guide his palm to grind down on it. Your choked moan has his cock harden further. He can’t help but watch as you use him. 
Logic hits him then when he feels just how wet you’ve gotten, before he can pull away there is a prick in the side of his neck. You begin to blur from his view. 
“Poppet, something is wrong.” 
You look up at him, why did his words sound garbled? 
Why was he falling to his knees? 
You look behind him, people standing and watching. 
The need clouding your mind clears in the slightest, “Steve,” you kneel next to him. 
“It’s okay,” he assures you, reaching for the shield. 
The cramp hits you again harder; you cry out in pain, doubling over and sinking against the wall to curl up. 
“FRIDAY, dis-distress signal.” Steve orders as his vision begins to blacken, he reaches for you with the last of his strength covering your curled up form with his body. 
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Steve keeps his eyes closed. 
Enhanced hearing picking up the dripping pipes from the left. To his right he hears your pained whimpers. 
How long was he out?
Chains bind his arms above him, the uneven concrete digs into his knees and shins. He would search for the shield in the aftermath. 
He counts four people by their rhythmic footfall. They were in the same facility. It couldn’t have been easy to move them. 
Lolling his head to right he watches you through hooded eyes, chained like him kept on your knees but you’re struggling. Squirming on the ground trying to find respite and crying out of frustration. 
“Sex pollen.” Bucky spoke, with a shake of his head in disgust.
“Sex pollen?” Steve repeated as if to confirm. 
Bucky gives him a look, Steve’s eyebrows shot up higher. 
“What does that do? Did they use it on you?” Steve questioned his best friend. 
Bucky shook his head, “It basically sets the libido up to the maximum, forces the person in contact to orgasm but basically they need to have sex, self pleasure seldom works. The intensity is higher to combat the inevitable effect.” 
A dark expression crossed Bucky’s features, he sighed sadly. Looking out at the view from his home in Wakanda. The house, though borrowed, was Bucky’s own. 
Steve had placed a few sketches of Brooklyn around. The place he used to consider home now changed. Steve stares at the more recent sketch of his home city. 
Two men out of time in a place decades ahead of the world outside. 
“How long?” Steve clutches his charcoal tighter as he forms the curve of soft lips on the paper. A stray tendril of hair. 
Bucky looks down at the half done sketch of your face. His heart aches for Steve and you. 
“Two hours, it gets progressively maddening. At first one can try to speak or answer what is asked. After that it is variable how long it takes for the need to become the sole focus. If nothing is done in two hours then its too far gone and well...” 
He had limited time, he could not gamble any further. Steve opens his eyes, tugging at the restraints to catch the attention of the captors. 
You hear the rattling, you look up at Steve another pang through your core. 
“Steve—,” 
“Ah, Captain. Welcome to the land of the waking, you were out for just under an hour. Now who is this sweet little needy thing with you?” The man asks, stepping closer to you. 
Steve growls, “Stay away from her.” he warns. 
The man raises his hands in defence, “She’s a little needy Captain,” he walks back toward Steve away from you, “Why so possessive?” 
Steve bites his tongue, “She’s mine.” he grits out. 
“I see and why is she yours?” 
He can’t tell them, they would exploit you but his will is crumbling swiftly and his mind is compelling him to speak, “I love her.” 
“Hm, it seems she needs you, Captain.” The man grins, walking back to you. His palm touches your scalp as he pulls your hair back. You want to recoil but the touch is soothing some of the ache. You look at Steve, pleading.  
“I could fill in.” He says suggestively.
You try to shuffle away but the grip on your hair tightens. 
“Don’t you fucking dare touch her!” Steve bellows as his thumb approaches your lips, “What the fuck do you want?” He pulls against the restraints, almost snarling. 
“I want to know where my Soldat is, tell me.” The man demands, leaving you. The words register as does the scent of cigarettes you recoil. You feel your mind working again, clearing the need to be fucked. 
“Steve don’t,” you warn him, he couldn’t sell out Bucky whatever this was, it wasn't worth ruining his life again, “I’ll deal with this…” you bite back the pained whimper. 
Steve stares at you, eyes wide and with an emotion you can’t place. 
“Oh but you know what is wrong with her don’t you Captain?” The man demands and you look to Steve, “Tell her the truth that burns your veins, Captain.” 
Steve wants to lie, wants to cushion you, “Truth serum?” He looks at the man who nods.
“Brilliant isn’t it? You’re compelled to tell me whether or not she chooses to be saved. You’re on a time limit.” The man taps his watch. 
“It’s a sex pollen.” Steve informs you, you stare at him. 
“That, that's why I need?” Your insides churn and your clit pulses as you watch Steve lick his dry lips before he continues to speak. The small insignificant action has your body wanting to be devoured. 
“Yes, and if you don’t get release, it’s fatal.” 
Silence stretches on the footfall of the three others has stopped, they watch the show play out. The consequences and the outcomes weighed. 
“Fight it, don’t tell them. It's not worth it.” You whisper. 
“Poppet you cannot say that. I am not risking your life!” Steve yells, pulling at the restraints again. 
“You can’t have him at risk again!” 
“I won’t let you die!” 
“You already left me for the dead once! You chose him once. Just fucking do it again!” You seethe, your skin clammy and you just want this suit gone. The material irritates you. 
Steve gapes at you, “I, I didn’t—,”
“Save it.” 
“As much as I enjoy a lover’s quarrel. Where is Soldat?” The man interrupts. 
“Gone.” Steve answers, “Poppet, please,” 
“Don’t fucking tell them!” You demand, “Consider it my last wish! Fight the damn truth serum.” 
“You are not dying.” Steve grits out. 
“Where is he, where is Bucky Barnes?” The man lands a punch to Steve’s face. His hair falls forward, slowly Steve looks up at the man. Rage colouring all his features. 
“I will let you help her. Just tell me where Bucky is, Captain.” The man promises. Steve considers, you begin to yell no at him. 
“He’s in the United Kingdom.” 
“Are you insane?!” You slump to the ground, “Do you have any fucking idea what have you done?” 
The man walks over and slaps you, “Shut the fuck up! You want a cock so fucking bad you fucking bitch in heat, I’ll give you one!” 
Steve snarls, wrapping the chain around his own palm and tugging hard until it breaks away from the wall. The man turns, gun cocked and ready, it's grabbed out of his hand by Steve. He looks at the man dead in his eyes before delivering the fatal shot.
You look up at Steve, as the man drops to the floor between the two of you. 
Steve watches the other three scramble about, he quickly fires the shots, he keeps one person alive. 
He grabs the other chain, yanking it with all his strength. It gives way. 
“Where is the shield?” He walks over to the man on the ground, pleading in pain. 
A shaking hand rises, pointing to the vault. 
“Access code?” Steve picks him up and takes him to the keypad. 
The man enters it crying when Steve presses on the open wound, “Don’t fucking pull any stunts.” 
You watch as the doors part and the shield stays there as a momento. 
You blink when everything goes out of focus. You blink again. Heat spreads over your body goosebumps raise across. 
Your thighs clench and you squirm trying to get some friction to release the ache. Tugging at the restraints is maddening. They don’t relent when you try to manoeuvre but no position provides any respite and you sob out as the frustration grows. 
“Poppet.” A warm voice calls out, you whimper. The hold on your right arm loosens and your hand reaches for the tactical suit. You had to get it off. You needed to get it off. 
You blink and watch as Steve’s hand stops yours, you push at him. 
“Please,” you whimper as another cramp takes over. 
“You smell so sweet baby.” He groans, the sound urges you on, you guide his hand to where you need him. 
His warm palm cups you the fabric of your suit soaked Steve hears your sigh of relief. 
“Going to take care of you Poppet, but you need to hold on for me okay?” Steve assures, breaking out your left arm as well. 
“Steve please,” you beg again, your mind screaming at your body, your hips move making you grind onto his palm. Your smaller palm wrapped around his wrist not letting him pull away. 
“Fuck,” He groans, pushing you against the corner and undoing your suit’s zipper, you don’t face him palms braced against the wall. Steve’s warm calloused palm is as though cold respite to your heated skin. 
He doesn’t waste time, fingers running over your folds, palm pressing against your clit. Your head tilts back resting against his shoulder, mouth parted moans leaving you. 
Steve presses his fingers into you, two thick digits and your walls clench around him he almost wishes he’d fuck you right there. 
“Fuck this pussy remembers who she belongs to doesn’t she?” Fingers curve finding the spot he very well could have placed. Stars line your vision as he hits the spot over and over, fingers curving.
“Right there Steve!” You cry out your ass rocking against him, pressing onto his cock. He keeps his thrusts hard and fast, palm rubbing your clit in the most delicious of ways. His grunts fill your senses.
Pleasure thrums from his touch to your body, your back arching as his fingers drive deeper and deeper into you. Your walls are gripping them back in not wanting him to stop. 
“I know sweet Poppet. I know what makes her weep for me. I’m going to taste you. But first you’re going to make a mess on my hand alright?” He instructs filthy words offset by the sweet kisses placed against your forehead and cheek. 
His other hand cups your breast playing with your nipple. Your hands fall from the wall, gripping onto his nails leaving indents on his skin. Steve watches your chest constrict, your voice choke off, eyes rolling back as your orgasm crashes into you. 
His fingers keep moving, riding your orgasm out, your walls quivering around him the sensitivity of your clit as it pulses. Some of the haze clears but the need just returns tenfold.
“Steve, please, I can’t, can’t wait—,” 
His lips are on yours, cutting you off, your suit pushed down further without breaking away from the kiss.
The shield clatters to the floor, his suit haphazardly discarded. Steve’s hands explore your body, remembering the planes he explored before. The love he whispered across your skin. Marking you with his touch, his lips, his seed.
“Wanna see you,” You want to turn, he grabs your hands pinning them to the wall. 
“No one gets to see you this way but me.” He growls, you feel his hard cock move between your thighs. His larger body covers yours, shielding you, watching over you. 
When your thighs clench around him,  Steve hisses, “Going to fill you up, sweet girl.” he coos. 
Inch by inch Steve’s length stretches you, your back arches. The relief the stretch of his cock brings is unlike anything else you’ve felt before. 
“You can take it, made for my cock aren't you?” He stills inside you, throbbing as your walls clench around him. He moans biting down on your shoulder the feel of you decadent, unable to be given justice by his mind.
“Heaven. Pussy feels so good, baby. Missed you so much.” He grunts, you push back against him needing him to move, “hands around my neck.” He orders, leaving your hands.
You wrap them around him, holding onto his now longer hair, soft between your fingers. Your mind remains you of the soft moments when he laid in your lap and your fingers combed through these locks.
Steve pulls you out of your thoughts with the snap of his hips. His palms gripping your waist anchoring you to him. Skin slapping against skin, his cock feels so good you could sob, the need turns into embers, your thirst being quenched. 
Each delicious, deep stroke moves you towards sweet bliss. You hear your name in an echo of his name. Steve watches the wall you mould against him, as countless times before. Your heart may have put up walls but your body left no space.
The way he sees the telltale signs of your orgasm he brings his right hand towards your apex, timing his rough circles on your clit to his thrusts. The sensations blooming become too much, your body alit with flames of pleasure, Steve moans as your walls begin to milk him just as your orgasm shatters through you.
He keeps his thrusts going, pumping into you. The arousal that spills onto your thighs, the mix of you and him. 
“One more.” He demands, fingers coated with the mix of the two of you, his marked fingers brought back to your clit, you cry out in ecstasy. 
The blissful haze clears, everything returning to you. The mission, the power, you can’t, you can’t, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve–,
“Right here my sweet poppet, you will give me one more. You know I'm greedy.” He reasons, only increasing his pace, you thrash in his hold. Lips find the sweet spot of your neck.
It’s your undoing, you cum around him yet again. Crying out his name, tugging on his hair. Aftershocks moving through you. He holds you up, pressing kisses to your forehead, temple, cheek, jaw and shoulders. 
Grounding you, palms moving over you after he brings his coated fingers to taste them. Your head lols against his shoulder, you reach for his jaw, placing a soft kiss. Steve smiles at the familiar gesture. 
Helping you get dressed he follows as well. You’re lifted into his arms and carried to the quinjet.
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As it had turned out Bucky wasn’t in UK it was a precautionary measure they came up with to secure Bucky from any life threatening attempts. The guilt you had harboured lessened.
Steve had stayed away from you, once Tony and Bruce cleared you of any remnant pollen he took his leave. Avoiding you as he had after the elevator confrontation. It left a bitter taste in your mouth. 
As much as you felt as if you were an emotional fool for considering the thought of wanting to approach him, you missed him. Terribly. 
You knew your walls were useless against the one man who you had given your jagged heart to, the blue eyes you had drowned yourself in multiple times. Whether it was when he found your gaze across the room or when you were pressed against him.
Your feet carried you after three days to his door. Your hand shook when you knocked. Thoughts swirling through your mind insecurities gaining fleet. 
The door opens, Steve’s eyes widen then his brows furrowed with worry, then fall to the still fading love bite that  he placed on your collarbone. You shift your weight to either side. Hands fiddling with the hem of your top.
You look down at your feet, Steve’s palm cups your cheek. 
Your eyes meet their old home of blue.
“I want to listen.” You manage to say, his pink lips stretch into a familiar smile.
He steps to the side inviting you further into his room.
-x-x-x-x-
3K notes · View notes
hiiii can you do whiskey w/ steve rogers that involves spanking/light bdsm? reader wants to try something new in the bedroom and steve's a little more hesitant at first but he gets into it
Darkness.
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warnings - smut. cursing.
you know I had to use another nomad gif... it's the long hair with the beard... it gets me going man. I kind of went a little rogue with this request, but it just happened. apologies.
3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.
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He's dreamed of women like you.
Strong, independent, resilient.
Women that take what they want, when they want it - regardless of the repercussions.
But he never could have anticipated your intuition. Your instincts.
You can read him like a book. Plain and simple. And no one can do that.
Steve prides himself on being stoic. Brave. The face of freedom. But it's like you look at him with x ray vision.
"Don't you ever get tired of it?" you ask one night.
Steve's sat on the edge of the bed, watching you get undressed. It's been a long night, full of fake smiles and ballgowns and polite handshakes. Weariness has settled in his bones.
"Tired of what?"
"The Golden Boy thing."
He scoffs.
"It's not a 'thing'."
You scoff.
"Come on, Steven. Don't forget I can see right through you."
"Oh yeah? Then what do you see, honey?"
You stalk over to him, settling down in his lap. Your favourite place.
"I can see the darkness, you know."
His brow quirks. Curiosity.
"Sometimes, I watch the America's Sweetheart facade slip ever so slightly. And I see what's underneath."
"And what would that be?"
A kiss to his jaw. Below his ear. A nip at his throat.
"You're a caged animal."
His grip on your hips tightens. Bingo.
"There's something in here, Steve," you point to his chest. "Something dark. Something raw. Something feral."
His breath hitches. His lungs constrict.
"I wanna see it," you whisper. "Whatever's underneath. I wanna see it."
He chuckles, low and menacing.
"Oh, honey. I don't think you know what you've just done."
You're on all fours in the blink of an eye. Strong fingers twist into the waistband of your underwear and pull, the sound of ripping lace making you gasp.
A smack to your ass makes you jolt, but not with fear. Anticipation. You want to see how far he'll go before he stops himself. You want to see his restraint snap.
"If you need me to stop," he whispers into your ear, "tell me. Or use the word Brooklyn."
He spanks you again before flipping you over with inhuman strength. He undoes his tie and runs the silk material through his fingers. You can see the cogs turning. He just needs a little push.
You raise your wrists and place them against the headboard, giving him a look that says I dare you.
Steve ties you up, standing back to admire his handiwork. He could get used to this view.
He reminds himself that you asked for this.
And he's never been one to deny you anything.
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834 notes · View notes
Text
The Lost 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of loss, grieving, death, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
Characters: nomad!Steve Rogers
Summary: You move into a shared flat and encounter a mysterious man.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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“And this is your room,” Muriel stops before a door along the short hallway. “You have a neighbour just across the hall, and two more on the other side of the kitchen.”
You nod. It isn’t an ideal situation. Not one you ever saw yourself in. But survival isn’t built for the fussy. There are many others like you. Those not so lucky, those who are dead. Many who never got the choice of a new home.
You keep your hand on your rolling bag, your other on your canvas knapsack. They’re full of items that aren’t your own. Second-hand clothes acquired from shelters and toiletries given out by the support workers. You’re on your own now.
“Anything else, dear?” Muriel asks to your silence.
“Thank you, Muriel,” you murmur.
She hands you the key and leaves. Before showing you your own space, she took you around those shared by the rest of her boarders. You suppose they’re your roommates now. A kitchen, two bathrooms, a front room with a tattered couch and old tube television. You’ll stick to your own four walls.
You slide the key in the slot, the metal grinding loudly. You hear a throat clear and peer towards the noise. The walls must be thin. You’re still alone. You let yourself into the room, pulling the door shut behind you. You flip the lock back into place before you shove your bags by the wall.
There’s a twin bed with a metal frame, a single night table, and a standing lamp. There’s also a shallow closet. It’s not much but you don’t need more than that. It’s good to have a roof over your head.
You sit on the lumpy mattress and the frame squeaks loudly. You stand up again and pace around. There isn’t too much room. It shouldn’t matter, you won’t need it. You’ll be out working and back to sleep again. You start tomorrow at the convenience shop.
You hear a thump and your head pops up. You can’t help but jump in your shoes. Ever since the city rained down around you, every bump, every sudden noise has you skittish. It’s nothing, only another boarder.
You go to your bag and unbuckle the flap. You pull out a can of beans and the pocket knife in the side pocket. You go back to the bed and sit, another shrill whine from the metal frame. You pull out the can open from the pocket knife and peel back the lid. On the same keychain is a small metal spork you use to scoop out the beans, eating them cold as your stomach growls hungrily.
You eat, bite by bite, staring at the wall, just beside the only window. It isn’t home. You don’t expect one of those. It’s just a place to live. To survive.
🚪
You take your toothbrush and your tube of toothpaste with you to the bathroom down the hall. It’s just across from the other bedroom on that side of the flat. The doorway is dark, beckoning you inside. You flip on the light and shut the door as you enter.
You turn on the tap and set to brushing your teeth. Such a basic and simple task but one you didn’t always have the chance to do. It’s almost soothing to feel the bristles in your mouth. It makes you feel almost normal.
You take your time as the mint flavour sticks to your tongue. You rinse your brush and flick off the excess water, sliding it back into the travel tube and capping the paste. You look at yourself in the mirror, not for long, just to make sure you still recognise you.
You clutch your things in one hand and flick the light off. You open the door and nearly shriek at the shadow waiting in the hall. You waver in the doorway as a tiny wisp escapes your throat. You blink as the dark silhouette stands with arms crossed in the dim hall.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” the man says gruffly.
He's tall but mostly obscured. His hair wings out around his neck and his shoulders bulge broadly. You feel his eyes boring into you, as he can see through the darkness and you.
You dip your chin and sidle out, keeping your distance as you sidestep along the wall. You should apologise but your voice is buried deep down. You put your hand up in a show of deference.
“You done?” He asks.
You pause and look at the plaster across from you. You nod then turn your back to him completely. He must be the neighbour. You quickly shuffle to your room and hide behind the door. It’s much better than the shelter, you don’t have someone rolling into your sleeping bag, but still, you’re claustrophobic.
You mourn that most. The sense of privacy. Of personal space. Have a place that’s your own with people you know. People you love.
You toss your toothbrush and toothpaste onto the night table and huff as you sit on the bed. You frown and push your head back, trying to soothe the tightness between your shoulders. You blow out, breath rattling as your nose tingles.
You can never go back to Sokovia or how it was. You can only go forward and the road ahead is very lonely.
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rogersideup · 1 year
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Nice to be Kneaded
Series masterlist
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Nomad Steve Rogers x Baker Reader
Almost every news station in the country was covering the chase for the missing superheroes post-raft-escape following the Civil War. Steve Rogers face had been plastered on the cover of every news paper, fliers stapled to street lamps, posted on bulletin boards in what felt like every coffee shop in the country. It had been just a few long months shy of a year, just long enough to grow out his hair and beard to make himself as unrecognizable as he could manage. Though he was still the poster boy of disorder within the states, he found himself in the scanty town of Greenwood in the house right next to yours.
Chapters 1-18
⋆。°✩ Chapter one: Welcome to Greenwood
⋆。°✩ Chapter two: Inhale, Exhale
⋆。°✩ Chapter thee: Nice to be Needed
⋆。°✩ Chapter four: Captain-What’s-His-Butt
⋆。°✩ Chapter five: Absdoughlutely
⋆。°✩ Chapter six: Sunflower
⋆。°✩ Chapter seven: Beautifully Natured
⋆。°✩ Chapter eight: The Brewing Storm
⋆。°✩ Chapter nine: Doomsday
⋆。°✩ Chapter ten: The Snap
⋆。°✩Chapter Eleven: Courage
⋆。°✩Chapter Twelve: Homecoming
⋆。°✩Chapter Thirteen: Cardboard Castle
⋆。°✩Chapter Fourteen: Cinnamon Roll
⋆。°✩Chapter Fifteen: Everything will be Okay
⋆。°✩Chapter Sixteen: Crawl Home to You
⋆。°✩Chapter Seventeen: Endgame
⋆。°✩Chapter Eighteen: Good Luck Charm
⋆。°✩ More fun stuff extended masterlist ⋆。°✩
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ronearoundblindly · 1 month
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Hideout (4.2)
touch-starved!Nomad Steve Rogers x motel employee!Reader
Horny Teen, part two (see previous or series)
Summary: A late-summer heat wave hits you and Steve hard.
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Warnings for smut (kinda unprotected sex, momentarily--guess that's dubcon to be safe--fingering, lots of foreplay things and dirty talk but Steve can't actually talk dirty, so...hot talk? IDK, gang, I 'bout died writing this. Prepare thy loins, babes). MINORS DNI. There is plenty for you to read on my Light Masterlist, but this series is not for you! WC 3.1k
A/N: This part contains a cannibalized version of the original idea for this series, but since we've developed differently to this point, it is very different.
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He calls ahead. For the first time in a year of visiting, he calls ahead and knows you aren’t working the night he’ll be here.
You work in the garden as long as you can stand before hopping in a cool shower. You aren’t even wrapped in a towel when the trill of your room phone—extension 14, as Steve now knows it—blares through multiple closed doors.
He’s checked-in, and in Room Two, but no pressure, if you want, if you don’t have plans, he’s here. It is the most adorable and awkwardest conversation of all time. It also never gets old to hear him scramble for the simplest of sentiments.
Translation: I’m excited to see you.
Your heart soars then immediately stalls in the stifling weather.
“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” you chuckle.
Of course, he opens his arms for a bear hug the instant the door labeled ‘2’ swings wide. Steve has fewer troubles with platonic affection when alone, that’s for sure, but who could blame him? You’re elated he’s here under any circumstances.
Record-setting heat this late in the summer has left all the AC units taxed to the brink, running constantly, and even with the in-room thermostat set stupidly low, a tank top and shorts is too much.
This means another first: both of you, in bed, naked.
Nothing’s happened, mind, because the swelter of the day zapped energy out of every creature for miles and miles around. The ice machine can’t keep up with eight rooms and your family needing relief from the blaze. From the bright stripe of red across Steve’s cheeks and his earthy musk, he was outside plenty. He’s wiped, too.
You wonder absently when the last time he wore cologne was and what it smelled like. Perhaps he never used it. Perhaps he misses small luxuries more than he ever realized.
Steve looks on the brink of heat-stroke, so you inched yourself onto one side of the bed to start, thinking skin-to-skin contact might be unwelcome. You barely got your palms on the sheets before he pulled you to him. You did not fight it.
It’s meant to be a profound comfort—your weight atop him—and it is.
Your cheek settles on his chest, eyes watching through the sheer curtains as dusk takes over the sky, a happy man stretched like a cat beneath you, smiling, heart beat slowing in your ear. So strong, so steady, so secure.
He’s safe. He’s comfortable. That’s all that matters.
You peer up from your perch. The thin worry lines on his forehead have relaxed. He seems younger. Freedom looks good on Steve Rogers, just as good as it looks on Captain America, maybe better.
You fall asleep straddling his hips, one knee hitched so the crook of your ankle drapes his thigh, slowly pushed up and down by his deep breaths.
You’re drifting, rocked gently by powerful waves in the nothingness of your blank mind, free like him, blooming in the warmth of a bright sun embracing you.
The glow continues until Steve gently shakes you awake.
The room is pitch black, the lights of the parking lot too muted to pass through the gossamer layer over the window.
“You’re…you were squirming a lot. Thought you might be having a nightmare,” his rough timber booms close to your ear.
“No, I—“ you wipe at your face “—I don’t think I was dreaming.”
Steve’s not so relaxed under you now. His abs quake slightly, and those slow breaths have become stunted, shallow with control.
“Did you?” you ask, looking towards his face, useless in the dark but your drowsy brain hasn’t caught up yet.
There’s a shuffling noise above you.
“Is that a ‘yes?’ Did you have a nightmare? You alright?”
The shuffling repeats, accompanied by a strangled “yes,” and you lift your arm to brace on his chest. It unhooks your leg from his, and the hard length of his erection moves from its perch at your ass, nudging the joint of your hip and thigh from below.
“Not—not a nightmare,” he whispers. “Just ignore it.”
Steve’s voice is husky, his grip on the back of your knee tight and unyielding, keeping you from trapping him between your legs.
Your impulse is to soothe him, to tell him he is fine and it is okay to be turned on, generally, when naked and pressed to someone you find attractive—hell, you definitely are—but if he wants you to ignore it, if he’d rather not, if it’s too soon or too hot (metaphorically, physically) or just too much right now, then you respect that. None of this has ever been about making him feel like how he chooses to receive affection is wrong.
Without moving any limbs, your fingers retract and relax, a gentle, nailless scratch to his broad pec beneath your hand, and his cock twitches, tapping your leg.
“Sorry,” Steve huffs.
“Do you want me to get off of you?” You suppress the urge to make a minor edit in that statement because it’s very close to what you want to do.
The shuffling noise sounds different.
“No,” he says softly.
You slide your hand up his chest to his neck and around the back of his head, petting the corner of his bearded jaw just below his ear, careful to use as few muscles as possible.
His cock taps you again anyway. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
You ignore it, as asked, and continue scratching lightly at his scalp.
“Hey,” you start in the darkness, “is this comfortable?”
You run your fingertips over his features while he nods, following his jaw up and down. 
Unable to see, this paints the most vivid picture of Steve’s reactions. You feel the vibration of a hum through his cheek, the draw and release of his brow as you skate over his forehead. You hear his short chuckle when you brush ever-so-gently across his long lashes and boop his nose. Finally, you trace his open-mouth smile with the edge of your thumb, his ragged exhale rushing over your palm.
Tap.
“Sorry.”
“Comfy though?”
His voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it. “Yeah.”
The drag of your fingers past the edge of bristly stubble and down his throat makes him shiver.
Twitch.
“Sorry.”
You flutter across his collarbone, wondering if that means he’s ticklish on more than just his sides.
“Comfy?”
He hums. You feel it rattle your cheek as much as you actually hear it in your ears.
You continue. His corded muscles giving only slightly to the pressure of your touch. His arm, his chest, down to the hand he keeps on your leg.
Several more breathy apologies sound above you. Steve’s other arm is draped over your waist, and with every pulse of need that betrays him, his grip tightens just a little. His fingers now dig into your soft flesh absently.
It’s hard to hide how desperate he’s made you, but the issue is mutual based on how his abs won’t stop tensing, searching for attention where he denies it. 
You flatten your hand to his chest and make to move.
“May I?”
Steve’s swallow is louder than the ‘okay’ he returns.
You are careful not to push him in any weird angles as you raise up to your knees and straddle him, pinning his erection beneath you, not directly between your folds but nestled at the apex of your legs, just so he won’t have to worry about every involuntary poke. 
With such fresh contact, he clenches his ass hard in response, lifting your whole weight completely before he settles again. The surge of heat to your core has you biting your lip to muffle a moan.
“Comfy?” you rasp at the same moment Steve offers a strangled “sorry.”
The low, constant whine of the air conditioner fills the hollow space around your cocoon of anticipation.
“New plan,” you laugh, relaxing your fingers to splay across his warm skin, “both of us stop doing that, huh? You have nothing to be sorry for, and I’ll trust you to tell me if you aren’t comfortable.”
“So…” Steve shuffles on the sheets, but whatever he moves doesn’t affect your position. “Can I touch you?”
You bite your lip harder before answering, your voice dropping to a sweet reassurance. “Yes. Of course you can, Stevie.”
You keep your pets of his chest and arms light, trying not to tickle him. He’s always so hesitant; you’re worried the tiniest misstep will send him back into his head—not in a good way.
The silence now feels purposeful, dense with possibility, and then rough fingertips land like a foreign explorer who’s braved months at sea solely to experience this moment.
A calculated inhale and exhale rock your pelvis, a wave of nerves foaming in your gut.
He starts innocently enough, mapping your thighs, muttering something about how soft they are, but you don’t dare lean to hear him better. No sudden movements. None. Even though your skin lights up as explosive as those 4th of July fireworks you missed.
Since there’s nothing to see in the room, you feel everything.
He keeps to the periphery of you at first, abandoning your legs to brush the same arms touching him, running fingers together, separating them just as quickly, caressing your palms gently, and dragging his short nails up your wrists without pressure.
You stiffen in pleasure, fighting not to shrink away from the purest intimacy you’ve ever experienced.
His long arms reach the curve of your shoulders, flit across your collarbone, and you’re doing your damndest to keep it together, leaning your head back in lieu of talking.
Don’t scare him.
It can’t last; you’re only human.
Steve’s hands slowly descend over your breasts, middle fingers catching your peaking nipples, and a lewd and aching cry tumbles from your bitten lips.
The force of it surprises you, but more surprising still is him, unfazed, encouraged to linger.
In that low timber, he growls.
“You like that… Knew you would.”
Your body throbs, pulsing with need and emptiness.
That means he thinks of you. He’s imagined this. He’s wanted this.
Stunning electricity shoots through your body as he pinches and twists, squeezes and kneads. Nothing too harsh, but he’s highly motivated when you purr and gasp atop him.
What else does he think about doing? How long has he fantasized? Is this as good as his imagination?
Yours aren’t the only noises now. He sounds tortured with little pleas and whimpers escaping before each guttural moan.
Arousal pools at your folds, and without realizing you started to move, the shy momentum of your hips has nudged his length to lay flush with your dripping center. His tip glides over your clit.
Again and again.
Again and again.
A hot pressure builds in you, faster than ever, kerosene dumped on your wet-dreams and burned to life, a spell manifest in the night.
Steve shakes beneath the palms you brace flat on his chest, the heels digging into his diaphragm.
He moves to grip your thighs hard.
Fire spreads beneath your skin as you two pant and gasp, his whole cock slick and slotted so close to where you truly long for him.
“Wait,” Steve groans, but you can’t understand.
No one could imagine how good this feels, how much you need this, how—
He sits up to stop you, accidentally notching himself at your entrance, your residual motion sliding the thick head of him past the that first, tight ring.
Steve’s lusty moan is barely eclipsed by your own, and you’re too close to halt sheathing him within you, arms instinctively wrapping his shoulders. Desire winds the coil in your belly too taut, the thought of losing this climax unbearable.
“N-uhhh god—“
He’s too sensitive though. He flips you both so your back crashes to the soft sheets and digs his grip into your side, his other hand thumping to anchor on the headboard. Steve sucks air through his teeth like he’s afraid the faintest smell of sex will set him off.
“Don—don’t move,” he orders in thick command.
It makes things worse.
You’re so close, vaulting off the ground and suspended by legs clamped around his waist, dangling on the precipice of ecstasy. You whine and clench, totally unable to control yourself, your nails digging into his back.
Steve cries out, choked at the hilt by your desperation and lost to his own finish.
His hand races from your side to your ass. He pulls out of you only to slot himself there and thrust his cock between your cheeks, cum shooting on the sheets below.
Mindlessly, you ride the cut of his abs, his course pubic hair adding almost enough friction to keep ascending toward your own end, but the void left behind is too consuming. The fire sputters and dims.
Steve buries his face in your neck, breath cooling the sweat lining your skin as he curls away from you, overwhelmed.
“Swear I was gonna wait,” he confesses to the tender spot behind your ear. “I swear.”
“Please,” you croak, tears prickling your eyes in lament for your ruined orgasm.
“Was gonna be better. Swear I’ll do better for you.”
You grope and claw at those thick arms which hold all but his face far away. “Please,” you beg pathetically, “fucking touch me, please.”
A drawn out grunt vibrates the column of your throat.
“Y’shouldn’t have ta beg...”
He shifts to his forearm, caging you in as you plead over and over. He kneels to hover, and your thighs weakly squeeze at his own to emphasize what you need.
“Sounds so pretty when you do…”
Something between a screech and a snarl erupts from your chest.
Steve shushes you, smoothing a big hand across your damp cheek, and quietly, he commands you, “show me what to do.”
Your quivering hold guides him by the wrist down your body. Words to instruct him won’t form in your sex-steeped brain. As luck would have it, he doesn’t need specifics.
“Next time I’ll taste you.” One finger teases your folds in search of his entrance. “Next time you’ll have to beg me to stop.” Two fingers drive forward, displacing a gush of your shared juices. “So wet,” he groans, agonized to silence when you jerk his hand to thrust faster.
“More.” 
He sets a loving and delicate pace, the heel of his palm working your clit. 
Too delicate.
“More,” you gasp.
He obliges, muttering how good he’ll be to you from now on. You’ll always be first. He promises.
The fire takes over again.
“More, Stevie. Please.”
You grind down on him to prove your point, and he marvels that this isn’t too rough for you.
Each strangled breath ties your moans together in a crescendo worthy of Carnegie Hall.
“God,” he rumbles by your ear again, “I know that sound. You’re close, aren’t you?”
Steve’s pumping fingers bully your body farther and farther up the bed, using only a taste of his real strength.
Your chant of ‘yes’ catches in your taxed lungs. He doesn’t need an answer though.
The super-stretched band snaps, a plateau of peace and weightlessness tipped at the vertex until—crash—nerves are razed all along you like a carpet-bombed battlefield.
“Uhnn, is that what you’re gonna feel like around me?” He sighs at the thought and stills his hand just to commit the ripple to memory. “How’m I s’pose to last?”
You slap a hand over his mouth, trying and failing to hold in your yelp of relief.
That mouth…that fucking mouth of his is a weapon all its own.
Tiny explosions wreak havoc on you, body and soul, as his fingers greedily coax you to keep coming—just a little more—just for him—one last rush—give him everything.
His lips open in your palm, but you grip his face harder.
You can’t. You can’t listen right now. You can’t hear one more dangerously sexy, completely innocent thing fall from his beautiful mouth.
Steve lets his hand go lax but doesn’t take it away from your clenched and spasming thighs.
He tries to speak again then gives up, waiting.
Finally, before you can collapse boneless to the bed, he hooks his arm behind your leg so you don’t land on the cold, cum-stained sheets.
He shakes off your forgotten grip of his jaw.
“Tops?” he whispers, patience personified in the long pause before you hum acknowledgment. “Can I kiss you?”
That fucking mouth…
There’s barely enough breath in you to make a sound, but the instant the ‘ye—’ forms in the back of your throat, Steve’s lips are on yours.
It's your first real kiss, of all the ways, after all this time, following all that.
You’d laugh if you weren’t smiling, suffocating in the gentle press that becomes deep and adoring. He kisses you thoroughly after each frantic gasp for air, savoring you, even in the reckless passion of the moment.
Steve rolls to lay you atop him again, more intimately than before. He keeps his face close, sharing breath even in the heat and stench of sex in the room, your wetness now smeared from his navel to his knee.
Turns out, he is a very good kisser, focusing on the act of physical connection. Not only do your lips touch, but he likes to nudge you into whatever minutely different position with his nose. He likes to nuzzle his beard on your sensitive skin until you giggle and squirm. He relishes you like you relish him. 
He whispers things too soft to make out at first. It takes him a while to find his voice, to push past his insecurities, to find his confidence, but eventually, you hear it.
He mumbles how he should have been better, more prepared.
You weave all your fingers through his hair, propped on his chest by your elbows, smiling so he’ll be able to tell in your tone.
“Take the win, Cap.” 
You freeze.
You’ve never called him that, and Steve stays silent for an excruciating beat.
“Sorry,” you offer in the dark, air conditioner churning out sobering drafts of reality.
Steve runs his knuckles gently in patterns across your bare back. There’s a short huff and an amused snort, you mind scrambling to plan some explanation as to why you’d haul the drama of out there into his safe space.
He guides you to settle against him again, tucking you into his strong hold with his chin resting on your forehead.
After what feels like an eternity, he simply asks, “comfy?”
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A/N: In case you were wondering...
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[Next part: Desperate Man, part one]
[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @rogersbarber @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @mrsevans90 @lemonadygirl
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peachesofteal · 7 months
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Floorplan
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Steve Rogers/female reader 2.1k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI. Explicit sex. Nomad era Steve. Reader and Steve have a baby together, mention of pregnancy. Possessive Steve Rogers. Praise kink. Breeding kink. Daddy kink. Dirty talk. Orgasm delay/denial. Could be considered toxic. Steve has issues with boundaries. Angst. Steve Rogers is keeping a secret.
Steve Rogers is keeping a secret. 
It’s heavy, heavier than most, this you know without a doubt, because you carry it as well, it’s existence a variable in your life that you never expected, never even imagined, if you’re being honest. 
A variable that ties him to you, indefinitely. For eternity. For better or for worse, without the papers or proof, the only exception being the small infant that sleeps in the room down the hall, while her father has you pinned against the bed, fingers digging into your thighs, splaying your body wide for him to do as he wishes, because you’re so fucking weak.
“Steve.” You hiss, word drawn loud from your mouth when the tip of his tongue works in tandem with his fingers, playing your clit easily, hips eagerly rocking against his face. 
“Pillow, honey. Don’t want to be too loud.” He murmurs a reminder into your cunt, crooking a finger up against that spot, the sweet spot that waits for him inside your body, working you into a mindless haze, building you up closer and closer to an orgasm until you’re panting, curve of your spine shining with a glimmer of sweat. “That’s it, that’s it. Almost there.” He hums, pulling away at the last second to peek up at your face, beard wet with you, absolutely soaked with your arousal. It glistens in the low light of your bedroom, and he smirks before going back to his meal, dotting gentle and slow kisses down the inside of your thigh that make you whisper desperate pleas. 
“Steve, please, don’t-“ Don’t stop. Keep going. Please, please, please. 
“Shhh. I know.” He coos. “Just need to get you ready for me sweetheart, that’s all.” And, if you weren’t so lost in the haze of your pleasure right now, you’d probably have something sharp to say in response. He always does this. Brings you to the edge over, and over, makes you wild for him, ache for him, just so he can pluck your strings perfectly, harmonize your need with his since your mind won’t budge, his possession of your body always tipping you over the cliff and into his arms, every time, without fail. 
Even a sailor lost at sea needs an anchor. 
And he is lost, has been, for some time. Since Bucky. Since Tony. Since he broke everyone out of the raft and went on the run, dipping in and out of towns and cities across the globe. 
That’s how you met him. That’s how you brought him home one night, that turned into two, that turned into more, and more. Your greed, your desire overriding your good sense because he was leaving soon, and he wouldn’t be around, and it’s all just some fun- I can keep a secret, Steve, you don’t have to hide from me. You’re safe with me. We’re not even together, just enjoying each other’s company, yeah?
You never thought you would survive it, loving him. Loving a man who’s not a man at all, who’s lost in the wilderness, who’s relearning everything about himself and the world all at once. Cast out by his country, his own namesake. Living on the run. Living with his band of misfit toys. 
So, you kept it to yourself, even though he didn’t. Even though you heard him whisper it to you in the middle of the night, when he thought you must be asleep. Even though it felt like obsession, possession, both ends burning the midnight oil. You kept it to yourself, kept the smile on your face, kept the swell of your emotions at bay. 
If you don’t love him, it won’t be as bad, when he goes. When they move on. 
Then, Steve Rogers did something he didn’t even know he could do. Something he didn’t intend, he claims, something he was told should be impossible. 
He gave you a baby. 
He gave you a baby, and everything changed. 
You’re just about to spit out something insistent, something needy, as he calls it, when you’re being moved, flipped over to your belly with no warning, the warmth of his chest bleeding across your back. His beard tickles against your ear, mouth pressing sweet kisses to your temple, and you can smell yourself on him, the proof of your weakness for him all over his face. 
“Here we go, good girl. I’ve got you.” The solid weight of his cock lays between you, the spill of his pre come smearing against the inside of your thighs and then inside of you, the heavy, thick head pushing in little by little, your mouth drooping wide on the pillow. 
“Ahh-“ you groan. It bites, the stretch, the sting of it all, and he knows, he loves it, and you do too (even though now you never tell him, because it’s not like before, not like when you weren’t the mother of his child, not like when things were simpler, when you could have walked away, when you weren’t falling down the rabbit hole with a man who has lost his entire identity, his country, his life-)
“God, honey. What a sweet little pussy you have for me, huh?” His teeth find the skin of your neck, below your jaw, and they graze with a nip, light pressure to punctuate his ownership. For me. For me, for me, for me. “Just perfect. My perfect, good girl.” You try to bite back the moan that rises in your throat but it’s impossible, and he’s no fool, the curl of his smile imprints across your skin, cock sawing in and out of your body like you were made for it. 
He says you were, of course. That you were made for him, and for no one else, and he doesn’t care what happens in the next year, or two, or ten. You’ll always be his. He’ll always come back. He’ll always be here. 
“What will you do if… when you go home, to America?”
“I’ll bring you both. Put you up in a place. Or maybe I’ll buy you a house, honey. With a white picket fence and everything. Give you another baby. Give you two more babies.”
“Steve-“
“No, no. Don’t.”
“Steve.” You whine, still mouthing the pillow, fingers tight in the sheets. You clench down around him, unable to keep yourself from barreling towards your orgasm any longer, and he whispers encouragement in your ear, soft praise of how good you feel and how wet and are you going to come for me, honey? You going to give a me a good one? Let me feel you squeezing my cock with it?
Your first orgasm comes with ease. So does your second. 
Your third comes with tears that he laps up across your cheek, as too many words get stuck in your throat. I love you. I hate you. I don’t want you here. I don’t want you to leave. 
It builds, each time he slips inside the house at night, each time you come home from work or errands and he’s sitting on the couch reading a book, or sketching, just waiting for you and Emmaline. It builds and builds, when he’s got you bent over the kitchen table, cheek pressed to the wood, sinking his cock into your body with an unmatched fury, breathing claims of ownership against your skin. Mine, for me. My girls. My baby. 
“Maybe I’ll give you another. Fill you up until you’re overflowing, get you pregnant.” It’s an overload, a killshot straight to your heart, your nervous system, and it engulfs you in fire, your body clenching around his cock involuntarily, like all it wants is to be bred by him, fucked deep with his come until you’re round with his baby, again. And he knows it, knows it too well. Sees the way your eyes shutter, can feel the way your body begs for it. You want to come, and he’ll torture you with it, dragging it out until you’re breaking apart. “Go ahead, tell me honey. Say it, do you want it?” 
“Y-yes, please. Please, daddy.” 
Everything you carry, all the tangles, the snarled mess that exists in your heart for him surges, and his hand sneaks between the mattress and your body to cup your belly, palm warm like a brand. Like it’s always been, now, and before- 
He holds you from behind, hands flush overtop your navel, stroking the roundness of your stomach with longing affection. 
“How’re my girls today?” 
“Tired.” You shift, and he hums in response. You’re about to snap at him about being here in the first place, remind him he can’t just use his key whenever, let himself inside whenever, but his hands drift to the bottom of your belly and lift, robbing you of all the lectures and rebuttals as the pressure on your spine is instantly relieved. 
“That better sweetheart?” 
He’s deep, so deep that it burns, head of his cock punching against your cervix, hitting that spot repeatedly. You gasp, burying your face in the pillow, smothering the shriek of your moans. He’s close, you can tell, you can feel it, the way his muscles start to become rock, the strike of his hips against your ass moving you further up the bed until your neck is craning to the side to avoid the headboard.
“Here it comes honey, lie still, just- just let me- let me give it to you.” It’s a stammered slur being pushed out through a too tense jaw, restraint burning in his muscles, arms cradling you like a precious, rare gem to be coveted, something more important than duty and a shield. 
Later, he’s still in your bed, even though he said he wouldn’t be. 
He’s heavy, and hot, so hot that you don’t need a blanket when he holds you. You find it fascinating, even more curious that your own child runs hotter than normal too, more evidence of the clear truth that both you and Steve are working vigilantly to hide and disguise. 
“You should sleep.” He’s insistent, and your lashes flutter closed with a big breath. 
“You don’t have to stay.” He wants to. He’s stubborn about it. It’s the reason he gave for appearing on your doorstep earlier. 
“Why didn’t you call? I would’ve come sooner.” 
“It’s not like I know where you are these days.” 
“Don’t. Don’t… start this.” 
“She has colic, Steve. There’s not much you’re going to be able to do, we just have to ride it out.” 
“I don’t care. I’m here.” 
He was the one who had managed getting Emmaline to sleep earlier, rocking her in his arms until she settled, sweet little baby finally succumbing to lullaby of sweet dreams in her dad’s arms. 
He’s so good at it, taking care of her, understanding what she needs and when, that you hardly sputtered a protest when he clicked her door shut and pulled you in for a kiss, pushing you into your own bedroom and laying you out on your back, a hand pinning your stomach to the sheets, another gripping your thigh wide for him, his strength forcing your body into a trap, where you were powerless. Stuck.  
“I guess I gotta put both my girls to bed, right? Isn’t that what you needed? Just needed daddy here, honey?”  
“Close your eyes, sweetheart. I’ll get her, when she gets up.” The fire of his skin makes everything in the room feel heavy, feel heady, and it’s so easy to slip into your imagination to pretend, dream about a world where your relationship wasn’t shattered, where Emmaline’s dad wasn’t just a shadow in the dark half the time he’s in the house, in her life, in yours. 
“You can’t just keep coming here, acting like everything is normal.” You whisper to the ceiling, but he doesn’t respond, just hums into your skin, deaf to your sense, your logic. 
You’re right. You know you are. Why can’t he just see that?
“Steve.” You pick at him. Pushing and pushing, careening closer to a breaking point, an inevitable end when he will sigh with the weight of exasperation, and then ease himself out of bed and disappear into the night. 
“This is the normal, for now.” He says instead, a rebuttal that takes you by surprise, a change in his usual course. Fingers stretch over yours with a yank, pulling you closer into the bend of his body. “But it won’t always be like this. We’ll go home soon.” Home. It sounds nice, but feels like a threat, considering this has been your home for years now, and this was where you were raising Emmaline, and this is where you had settled into life, started a career, put down roots. 
“Steve, I’m already home.” You remind him and he chuckles softly against your brow. 
“Are you?”
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angelkhi · 1 year
Text
love me, hate me - s.r
summary: steve rogers pisses you off, and you piss him off. but is it really ever that simple?
warnings: SMUT 18+ (MINORS DNI), p in v, switch steve & reader, face sitting, unprotected sex, talks of bodily fluids, enemies to lovers a little bit, slight hate fucking but also not?? feelings at the end sort of.
word count: 2.8.k
a little note: Happy New Year to you all! finished this at 4 am so not beta’d any mistakes are my own (seriously i just spelled mistakes as ‘mestayks’ so like sorry lol) half based on this request but also something i already had in the works that seemed to mesh xx
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"Let's not forget who's doing who a favour." You chide, already irritated by presence.
"Please sweetheart, I'm doing you more of a favour than you realise."
"And how's that Mr Rogers?" You fix his crooked tie. Always picking up after him.
"You walk in there with me? There's no way you're going home alone tonight." He smooths out the collar on his shirt, checking himself over in the mirror. "Your little problem gets solved."
"My little problem?"
"Don't get me wrong, Yels, it's great doing it yourself but it would be nice for someone give me an orgasm every now and then."
"You fuckin pig! You were listening to my conversation?" You're embarrassed. Beyond embarrassed. If there's one person that doesn't need to know about your dwindling sex life it's Steve Rogers.
"It's kinda hard not to overhear yours and Yelena's screeching on girls night." Once again those fingers fly up into quotation marks and you have to blink yourself free from the daze you're slipping into.
Maybe Steve does have a point, you're significantly louder after a bottle or two of rose, but it doesn't give him the right to use your own words against you.
"You're a dick, Rogers. It's none of your fucking business how many orgasms I have." He's smirking down at you now, something in his eyes you've never seen before. "Let's just get this over with. I don't want to have to see your face any longer than necessary."
The two of you enter the ballroom together as planned, and heads turn almost instantly. The quiet gasps and turning heads boost his scolded ego more than nicely. But that's all it is. A soothing bandage over a painful wound.
Stark's infamous shindigs that rivalled even the most grand of galas, yet you are the only thing that matters to him in a room filled with expensive champagne and extravagant sculptures. He watches you from across the room, Bucky's latest debrief on Sam's irritating behaviour blending into the mindless background chatter.
You're done up to the nines, pretty hair twisted in some intricate up-do, and that dress. That fucking dress. He wonders if things would be easier if you knew how he really felt about you, that the trading of insults between the two of you is the only way he can resist pinning you against every available surface and fucking the attitude out of you.
You work your charm with everyone that comes up to you, offering you drinks and boring conversation. You know you're in charge, so do they, and so does he.
He spots you talking to a pretty redhead he soon recognises as Wanda, she's changed since he last saw her. But he much more notices the lingering stares and flirtatious touches, the way you lean into each other and laugh a little too loud. Jealousy is no longer a green eyed monster, but a blonde haired, blue eyed super soldier.
You happen to glance over at him in that moment, taking in his tensed jaw and white-knuckle grip on his champagne flute, expecting it to shatter under any more force. He watches as you smirk in his direction, and the go back to the conversation like he wasn't even there. Sam and Bucky pull him away to a conversation that is meant to be important and he loses sight of you for the rest of the evening.
The party starts to get a little too lively towards 11pm, the rowdy crowd excited about the looming new year. You find yourself at the bar, sick of your uncomfortable shoes, ready to get more than drunk, kiss a bottle at midnight and fall into bed with your vibrator once again. Someone slides into the empty seat next to you, speaking to the bar tender. You catch the 'and whatever she's having' and roll your eyes just wanting to be left alone at this point.
Your double vodka and cranberry is slid in front of you and you take a single sip before turning to the man next to you. He's attractive, with his full beard and long brown hair. There's something in his eyes but you don't care enough to find out that much about him. He shakes your hand firmly, introducing himself as Quentin Beck. You smile and thank him when he compliments you, you hum and nod when he tells you about his latest technological venture that sounds weirdly similar to Tony's, you smile coyly when he rests a hand on your thigh and offers to take you somewhere a little less private.
You're silently disappointed that this is the best you could do on a night like tonight but you're not one to look a fort horse in the mouth. He guides you through the crowd with a hand around your waist until the function room doors come into view and your excitement dims even further. Steve stands in the doorway, arms crossed and biceps bulging as he stares at Quentin and then his hand on your waste.
"Hey honey." He wraps his fingers around your wrist lightly, stopping you in your tracks. He stares down at you for a second too long, then diverts his gaze to Beck.
"Fuck off." Two words. Two are all it takes for Quentin to crumble.
His hand moves from your waist faster than you can blink and he's already being swallowed up by the crowd when you turn away from glaring at Steve. His fingers linger around your wrist but you shrug him off, and leave the grand ballroom stomping down to the elevator.
He follows you of course, right up to your door, pushing inside when you try and slam it in his face.
"Honey that guy was a creep."
"Don't 'honey' me you just ruined my one good chance of getting laid tonight." You kick off your shoes.
"Well I wouldn't call it a good chance..."
"What was that?!" You're about to fiddle with the zip of your dress but instead steve has your attention and an insane amount of audacity.
"M'just saying he wouldn't have been worth it." He pauses, sitting on your bed uninvited. "Doesn't look like he can find his car keys let alone please a woman."
"I guess I'll never know now." You scoff.
"Use me instead."
What in the sweet baby jesus?!
"How much have you had to drink?" You chuckle, and go back to working your zip.
"You know I can't get drunk. How much have you had to drink?" He retorts, reaching up to undo the zipper for you.
"Not enough for this to be a hallucination. What's in it for you?"
"An orgasm." Fair enough.
"Why are you doing this? Are you trying to humiliate me?"
"What? No! I'm just trying to apologise for ruining your New Years hook up." He looks sincere, but then Steve never lies. You on the other hand, would be lying if you said you didn't want to jump his bones at least twenty three and a half of the twenty four hours in the day. And he's offering himself to you on a golden platter. Why turn. it down?
"Strip."
It's a simple word, but it holds so much power. Starting something that may just fucking ruin you. But you want it. He wants it. The easy route be damned. Steve is quick to discard his clothing, looking up at you expectantly waiting for your next request. You simply just let your dress drop, carefully stepping over the expensive fabric and slotting yourself between Steve's legs. His eyes widen when he realises you'd neglected to put on any underwear that evening. She reaches out to touch you, rest a hand on your hip but you slap it away.
"Lay back." You kneel over his hips, excitement fizzling on your skin as he rests on his elbows, taking up an insane amount of space with his broad shoulders and wide thighs. He doesn't move any further, a sly smirk on his lips and wonder in his eyes.
"I said I don't want to see your face, lie the fuck back." You have him under your thumb, and your pussy, when he lays back against the cotton sheets you crawl across his body and rest above his face. His hands grip onto the backs of your thighs, usually light eyes dark with lust. 
"No touching." You thread his arms above him, resting forward and pinning them against the pillows. His response is muffled when you lower yourself onto his face. His tongue works wonders when he's not using it to talk and you definitely prefer it when he's not talking.
You grind yourself down against his pliant tongue, clit bumping his stupidly perfect nose with each thrust. You're taking what you deserve from him, what he owes you and you fucking love it. You love the fact that he could easily slip you underneath him, pin you beneath him and pull you apart but instead he's letting you use him, letting you grind yourself to an orgasm on his face.
"You're not so useless after all Rogers, fucking hell." His lips purse around your exposed clit and your thighs shake a little. You press yourself further against him, chasing your well deserved orgasm until you're panting above him half spent.
Lifting yourself off of him, you take in his flushed cheeks and blown out eyes. God he's pretty. Your hand strokes through his hair and he leans into your touch. Putty in your hands.
You reach back, your hands almost dwarfed by the impressive size of his pretty cock. You struggle to wrap your hands around him fully, but when you start stroking him slow but firm it doesn't matter. His face twists into one of pure bliss and his hips fuck up into your fist desperately. Deciding enough is enough you manoeuvre down his body, hovering over his painfully hard weeping cock. You drag him through your folds, almost slipping him in before bumping his engorged head against your clit until you're right on the edge of desperation and finally sink down on him.
You take him slowly at first, unable to stay quiet as he stretches you open. There's a slight sting but my god does it sting so good. Once he's fully sheathed you take a moment to accommodate, grinding down on him, twin moans coming from the two of you. You raise yourself up again, right to the tip and back down, slowly building the rhythm until you're bouncing on his cock, hitting spots you didn't even know existed panting for breath. 
"You feel so fucking good." You whimper chasing your own pleasure, fuelled by Steve's. He fists the bedsheets, so obedient trying not to touch you, but you look so pretty and broken and you're touching yourself whilst you ride him, clenching down on his dick so fucking perfectly. He's more vocal than. you expected, grunting and moaning and whining.
"Fuck I'm gonna come. Steve." Your fingers roll your taught nipples between your fingers, pinching and pulling. Steve's hips stutter for a moment, but then he's right there with you, fucking up into your perfect cunt until you're shaking on his dick, grinding your clit against his pubic bone and falling over the edge.
He doesn't give you a second to breath, wrapping his strong arms around you and placing you flat on your back. You're breathless, your vision is still fuzzy but then he's pounding into you. Lifting your leg above his shoulder opening you up up to him even more. You're well and truly fucked. Not a single word or thought or even sound registering. You're just wide eyed and open mouthed and taking what he gives you.
"Not so cocky now are we, hmm sweetheart." His thumb flicks your clit once and you're coming all over again, a loud scream echoing off of the walls.
"There she is. So fucking perfect, taking what you need. Did I do well, did I satisfy your greedy pussy or do you still want more?"
"St-Steve. More." You sound so broken, so unalike yourself but you never want to go back to her when you can be this.
"Course you fuckin do. Play with your tits for me, that's a good girl." He thrusts slow but deep, your weak legs held in position by his huge hands. He relishes in your flushed face and smudged makeup. Your hair has foregone the confines of bobby pins and it's splayed out on the cushion behind you. You're fucking perfect.
"Who's cunt is this?" Your eyes lull into the back of your head when he delivers a quick sharp tap to your clit. "Tell me who's cunt it is and I'll let you cum."
"Y-Yours. Yours Steve."
"Good. And who's fuckin dick is this tearing you apart?" It's all too much, you're on the verge of crying from the overstimulation. "Who's is it?"
"Mine."
"Good fucking girl." He punctuates his words with his thrusts, picking up speed once more and rubbing small quick circles against your clit. Your tears do spill then, dark mascara running down your cheeks when you explode all over him.
He fucks you through the orgasm, pulling out of you when you begin to claw at his chest, leaving pretty marks all over him. He kneels over you, furiously stroking himself to completion until he cums in long white ropes all over your breasts, chest heaving and panting. He collapses next to you, silent as you try to catch your breaths and wrap your head around what just happened.
It shouldn't surprise you when Steve gets up to the bathroom and comes back with a washcloth, but it does. It leaves you stunned. You try not to show it though, nor do you give him a glimpse at how disappointed you are about leaving.
"Damn Rogers, you really know how to hate fuck." Steve's gaze is frantic, but mostly confused.
"Hate? I don't hate you." His eyebrows are pulled together so tightly you're scared they might just fuse into one another.
"Could've fooled me." You pull up your underwear and pull on his shirt foregoing the tight dress.
"Look. I don't. Hate. You. Do you get on my nerves? Sometimes. But I could never hate you."
"So what? You wanna call the way you've treated me since I got here a proclamation of your undying love." He's silent. "You can't be fucking serious Rogers."
"Don't be like that, you gave just as good as you got." You scoff, but it's the truth. "Every time I look at you I want to fuck you, every time I see someone even look at you I wanna fuckin... I don't know!"
"Steve..."
"You terrify me. I have all these feelings for you, but you're so... you. You're so gorgeous, you're potty mouth and you're strong and you don't take shit from no one, not even me. I'm an idiot, I know that and I don't expect a sorry to fix anything, but I need you to know that that wasn't a one time thing, I want you."
"Well fuck. You have feelings for me?" He nods, simple, effective and oh so Steve Rogers. "I thought. I don't know what I though. I walked in here and you just stared at me and left, and I guess I though you took one look at me and decided I wasn't enough. So I decided I was gonna prove you wrong."
"I think you're everything. You've certainly proved me right." He looks angry, at himself at and the situation, but mostly at the fact that you'd ever thought those things about yourself.
"Right pair of idiots we are." You mutter, trying to lighten the you're-not-sure-what mood. He pulls you into his lap, rough hand resting around your waist.
"Aren't we just." He whispers against your lips.
"How many people did you tell to fuck off tonight? Just out of interest."
"Bout 15." He mumbles and then laughs, "don't regret a single one of them though."
You surge forward and press against him. His lips are softer than expected and his movements are so slow, so tentative. You arch into him, greed driving your need to make up for the last few wasted months.
A loud bang erupts from outside of the glass windows, popping into a concoction of golds and reds and pinks, until the New York skyline is littered with individual fireworks displays.
"Happy New Year Rogers." You whisper against his lips, though it turns into a breathless whimper when he pulls your panties to the side. "You get on my nerves too by the way. Like a whole lot."
"Yeah yeah. Happy New Year."
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heytheredelulu · 2 months
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Imagine nomad Steve is reader’s possessive boyfriend and she just wants to rile him up by making him think she’s been cheating on him with Bucky.
Also Bucky smokes in this because I said so.
Like Sin
Nomad!Steve Rogers x Reader
ALL OF MY WORK IS 18+
Content Warning: Language and a lil blood
You fumbled with the knob at the front door of your apartment, the dim light in the breezeway coupled with the whiskey you’d drank only making it harder for you to slot the little silver key into the lock. Just as you had finally succeeded, the lock clicked before you could turn your key and you drew your hands back, looking up as your very angry boyfriend yanked the door open.
Steve glared down at you with his arms folded across his broad chest. “You’re late.” He states sternly, stepping aside to allow you entry. “Where the hell were you? You haven’t answered a single one of my texts all night.” He asks, leaning against the wall in the foyer as you tossed your keys on the table.
“I told you I was going to happy hour with some of the others.” You say with a hint of annoyance, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.
“Yeah, happy hour.” He repeats with equal annoyance. “It’s nearly 1 in the morning.” He scolds. You lose the fight and finally roll your eyes as you perch on the arm of the couch to take your shoes off. “Okay, happy ‘hours’, then.” You mumble, tossing one shoe towards the shoe rack.
“And you didn’t think to text me back? You’ve been gone for hours and haven’t even bothered to check in.” He points out, uncrossing his arms as his lips curve downward into a frown.
You sigh and pull off your other shoe, tossing it to land near the other as you look up at him. “Steve, I was with our friends. If I’m out socializing I’m not going to just sit and stare at my phone, it’s rude. It’s not my fault that you didn’t want to come out with us.” You counter, standing up.
“It’s rude?” He asks, incredulously. “And it’s not rude to ignore your boyfriend all night and keep him up late, worried sick?”
“You’re being dramatic.” You mumble, unzipping your coat and walking over towards the coat rack, where he was still leaned up against the wall.
He sucks his teeth at your comment and nods, eyeing you up and down. “I’m not being dramatic.”
You scoff, shrugging off your coat and hanging it up. “Yes, you are. If you were so worried about me going out without you, you should’ve come along.”
He opens his mouth to respond but his eyes flick over to your coat pocket and he steps away from the wall, reaching into it and fishing out a pack of cigarettes. He turns the pack over in his hand as his eyes narrow in recognition.
This is Bucky’s brand of cigarettes.
“Who were you with again?” He asks, not looking up from the smokes in his hand.
You’re in the kitchen at this point, getting a glass from the cabinet and is unaware of the bomb in his hand that was ticking towards an inevitable explosion. “Tony, Nat, Bruce. A few others from the team.” You call out, filling your glass with water from the sink.
Steve steps into the kitchen and crushes the pack of cigarettes in his fist before tossing it onto the table. “And Bucky?” He asks, though it wasn’t much of a question.
You glance over at him mid drink and swallow, setting the glass down slowly. “He’s part of the group, yeah?” You question, brow furrowing as you look to the crushed pack of smokes now discarded on the table.
“Why do you have his shit in your pockets?” He asks, his expression hardening.
“I don’t know, Steve. I probably just picked them up with my things when I was leaving. You know sometimes I smoke when I’m drinking.”
He places both hands on the kitchen table, the muscles in his arms flexing as he leans forward and lowers his voice. “You were alone with him, weren’t you?”
You sigh and shake your head. “I’m sure at some point, yeah. I was alone with Nat at some point too.” You argue.
He slams his fist down on the table, the legs shaking in response to the assault.
“You were alone with him!” He shouts.
“What the hell is your problem?” You yell in return, throwing up your hands in frustration.
“My problem is that you were alone with Bucky.” He growls.
You tilt your head curiously. “And the problem with that is what? Your own insecurity? Your jealousy is showing Steve, and it’s not attractive.”
He bows his head and sucks in a deep breath before lifting his gaze to meet yours in a menacing stare.
“I am not insecure. I see the way he looks at you.” He whispers harshly. “And I’ve seen the way you are around him.”
He leans back and steps around the table, slowly moving into your space as he backs you against the wall.
“Who knows what the two of you do when I’m not around.” He says, "You could be flirting, you could be touching him, hell-" His voice drops to an almost inaudible whisper "you could be fucking him." His eyes flash dangerously as he leans his face closer to yours.
"Excuse me?" You ask, your face contorting in anger. "What the hell did you just accuse me of?"
He grits his teeth, and slams his palm against the wall behind your head. "Don't you try to play innocent with me. I know you two get a little too friendly with one another and I'm sick of it!" He yells.
"I'm not playing innocent, I'm asking you to look me in the face and repeat what you just fucking said, Steve!" You shout, your eyebrows knitting in anger.
He glares at you for a long moment before speaking in a low voice laced with quiet rage.
"I think you're fucking Bucky." He says, taking a threatening step towards you.
"Oh, do you?" You ask, your voice dripping with mockery.
"Yes, I do." He says through clenched teeth.
You shake your head and laugh in disbelief. "Wow,” you breathe out. “So is that what you think I was doing tonight? You think I was out fucking Bucky?"
His glare never falters. A muscle in his jaw twitches as his hands curl into fists. "That’s exactly what I think." He whispers harshly.
You lick your lips and cross your arms as the corners of your mouth twitch up into a cruel smirk. "Maybe I was. Why don't you kiss me baby? Tell me if you can taste his cock on my tongue." You dare, looking up at him in defiance.
His eyes widen as you issues him the challenge. At first he doesn't react, but then without warning he closes the gap between you both, pressing himself against you and crashing his lips into yours. He takes your mouth in a rough, punishing kiss, his lips moving against yours fueled with all his pent-up rage and jealousy.
You kiss him back angrily, violently as you parts your lips, deepening the kiss and meeting his tongue with your own in a dance of dominance. You break the kiss abruptly, tugging at his bottom lip with your teeth as your pull away, nipping hard enough to draw blood as you lean back and look up at him with your chest heaving.
He releases you with a gasp and glances down at you in confusion as he tastes blood. It takes him a moment to speak. “Did you just bite me?” He asks, his breath coming in short, sharp pants as he stares at you with a mix of shock and arousal.
You reach up and cup his jaw roughly with your hand, tracing your thumb along the curve of his bottom lip, smearing the blood across it. "Is that what you're worried about?" You ask in a low voice "You aren't going to tell me how your best friend tastes?"
His breath catches as a shiver crawls its way up his spine and he meets your gaze narrowing his eyes.
"What did you just say?" He whispers, leaning forward and pressing his bloodied lip against your thumb.
You let your thumb slip between his lips pressing it down on his tongue as you hold his gaze, then you withdraw it and pinch his cheeks, saliva wet against his skin "I asked you a fucking question." You repeat dangerously "How does Bucky taste?"
His eyes darken as he looks down at you. He can’t help but notice the subtle way your voice changes when you say his best friend's name; Just like how he can’t help but notice how it makes his heart race and a heat spread in the pit of his stomach when you do it.
He shakes his head to clear the thought.
"I'm not justifying that with an answer." He says, swallowing the lump forming in his throat.
You lean in towards his ear, your breath hot as it fans across his skin. "I will." You whisper, sucking a finger into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it before reaching to run the wet digit down his neck "Like sin."
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frostironfudge · 9 months
Text
Hide From Me - Steve Rogers
Summary: You deal with the leaving of Steve in your own way, what happens when he finds you and states he wants you back? (Also I was inspired by Where Have You Been by Rihanna the lyrics are quoted)
Pairings: Nomad!Steve Rogers x F!Reader
Warnings: 18+ minors dni, angst, drinking, di/rty dancing, di/rty talk, sm/ut, ora/l fem rec, d/s undertones, ex/hi/bitionism if you squint, steve rogers is jealous, you are responsible for the media you consume
Word Count: 1.5k
Masterlist || AO3
A.N: i do not consent to my work being copied, translated, reposted on other platforms, or put into AI. My accounts are on tumblr and AO3 only.
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Knocking back drinks is easy. The burn is welcome. Flashing lights hide your seat of choice. 
See everyone but you must not be seen. 
The bitter taste upon your tongue seldom prevents the bittersweet memory. Your tongue clicks as the last shot glass is empty as well. Pushing away from your hideaway you go to the crowd upon the dance floor. 
Become one with the crowd but you must stand out. 
The speakers thump, your heart reverberates to the beat of the song. Head thrown back in a bitter drowned laugh at the lyrics. Reminding you of an aimless search. 
Hands grip your hips, you allow yourself to be pulled into the embrace. The man moves his hips, your short skirt doing its job. 
The two of you move. Your hands guide him to your waist, you turn wrapping your arms around him. Smiling shyly at him. Little does he know what you are up to. 
Replace easily but never forget. 
The man trails his hands up your back. Hmm, maybe you could have your fun. The wandering hands freeze. You huff, pushing away from him. The crowd wanes in the slightest. You find another partner. 
Your hips meet with this new partner, your eyes scan the surroundings. 
How fitting the line of the song.
‘Are you hiding from me, yeah?
Somewhere in the crowd’ 
The light bounces off of his features, brows knit, scowling. Angry, grumpy and oh so livid at the forgettable hands that are too close to cupping what is absolutely belonging to him. 
Rather was his, abandoning you on the run. Leaving stale crumbs to follow. You grab the wandering hands leading them to the back. Where bodies seek pleasure. 
Where the heart eats the afterthoughts, and falls into a bitter ruin. 
‘Someone who can please me,
Love me all night long’
The stranger pushes you against the wall, lips on your neck, parting your legs with his knee. Your hands find purchase on his shoulders, drawing him closer. The stranger speaks with lust, and decrees promises of euphoria. 
You blink up at him, then smirk. Your hands wander below. He groans as you palm him. Then he stumbles backward. Your vision is blocked by broad shoulders that one did carry your given marks proudly. 
The song reaches its chorus. Steve turns to you, blue eyes carry an anger. You only raise your brow at him. He follows you out of the back exit. You don’t run. He tilts his head, you did run from him the previous times. 
Why not today?
The song still faintly carries out of the club. You turn towards him. Arms crossed, demeanour demanding an explanation. 
“You are not running away from me.” Steve says it as though a statement, the subtle shock hidden well enough.
Make them tell you everything, give them nothing.
“You seemed as if you wanted to have a chat.” You lean against the wall.
“We no longer have to be on the run. Things have come up.” He regards you, trying to get a read. Your expression is neutral.
“So what? You’re treasure hunting your abandoned cadets?” You sneer.
“Do not be like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like as if I’m to blame when–,”
“Steve, fuck you.” You spit out, “I do not wish to return anywhere with you. You left lets keep it that fucking way.”
“Where are you staying tonight?” You watch the muscle in his jaw twitch.
“Any warm bed.” You take a sick pleasure in the way his calm demeanour cracks. Flaring nostrils, tightening fist, clenched jaw.
“You’re coming to my place.” The authoritative tone makes itself known.
“Sorry Captain, I no longer work for or with you.” You turn back, your shoulder pushing against his arm as you go back into the club.
Steve closes his eyes, breathing in and then out. He groans low as your perfume lingers around him. He had to take you back. Whatever he may have to do to lure you. Following in your footsteps.
Finding you on the dance floor is easy only because you make it. He had decided to leave but then you had to dance with that lowlife. Then the next one, as if you knew he was here. 
‘Looking for you babe,
Looking for you babe,
Searching for you babe’
Steve growls spotting you, lips locked on with the stranger from before. His movements are sluggish but they still touch what belongs to Steve himself. The man is pulled away by a friend as Steve makes his way to you.
You are pulled to him, his warmth seeping into your skin through the material of your sheer top yet you shiver. Steve hums pleased, lips nipping at your earlobe. Your hands tighten upon his wanting to push him away.
Both of your hands are grabbed by one of his, you try to move but Steve has other plans. His large palm moves down the back of your right thigh then front. Moving below your skirt. He cups you, the tightening of your inner thighs just keeps his touch closer. 
He begins to grind his palm to the beat of the music, speed growing faster as the tempo picks up. Steve watches as your body responds to him. Unravelling itself to the man who ruined it and put it back together with each shattering orgasm. 
Your breath comes out in short pants, the coil tightening in your belly. Your panties are ruined by your arousal aiding Steve in his merciless ministrations. Your head rests against his chest. You feel his hand on your chest but your hands don’t move. Lest he stops.
Your moan reverberates against his palm. He tugs on your earlobe yet again as praise. Two fingers now inside you. You know you won’t be able to take it any longer.
‘You can have me all you want
Anyway,’
You cum with a cry of his name, his hearing picks it up even if the hazed crowd around you cannot hear the sweet melody.
You’re pressed down into the mattress, with his belt around your hands tied to the headboard. Steve’s lips are seizing yours—wet, warm, and consuming you. Clothes are long discarded along the small hallway of the flat. 
Large palms cup your breasts, your nipples teased, tugged upon with fingers and teeth. When he kisses over your sternum his beard leaves a delicious burn across your body. You cry out his name as he blows over your folds. Lips latching on your clit. 
Steve moans, finally his hunger would be sated. Your taste coats his tongue and lips. He can feel his pussy demanding for more, demanding to be rewarded for all these months of useless fucks. 
“Steve!” You cry out when he bites down on your folds, tugging them before soothing them with his tongue. 
“You need to be reminded who this pussy belongs to.” He nips on your clit, you cry out as the sensitivity begins to take over. He can tell the signs, your hands released. 
His cock coated in your arousal. He hisses as your nails dig in, awaking his primal urge to want to be marked by you over and over. 
Steve thrusts into you, groaning as you take him so well. All of him, every inch.
“Do you know how beautiful you look? Taking every inch of my cock so well.” He praises, “Look at you, marking me up.” 
Your eyes follow the trail of red welts as you leave scratches upon him. Drawing him in and closer for more, more of him.
He angles his hips and you feel him hit the spot that has you arching up into him. Your orgasm barrels into you. Crying out his name. Steve kisses you as your ecstasy triggers his own. You feel him fill you up, your whimpers and mewls met with his soft kisses. 
When he pulls away you whine, needing him close. He returns soon with a warm towel and more kisses to give you. 
Somewhere between slumber and wakefulness, he makes yet another promise,
“I will make it up to you, sweetheart. I do regret leaving. I’m so very sorry. Even if it takes me years to earn your forgiveness I will remain on my knees.”
The morning light wakes Steve, the sheets are warm and still carry your scent. He smiles burrowing closer, his arm reaching out to draw you to him. He finds emptiness. Bolting upright he searches the room. 
He walks through the small apartment. Each corner is empty. 
Your clothes are still strewn across his floor but his shirt is gone. Tongue running over his teeth he walks up to the small paper taped to his bathroom mirror. Words he wrote months ago stare back at him.
‘Don’t try to find me, I do not want to be found.’ 
At the back of the note there is more, but in your handwriting;
‘My Love,
Your search for me will be futile just as mine for you was.
Thanks for the warm bed.’ 
He traces the lipstick print you’ve left as the sign off with his index finger. 
-x-x-x-x-
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lilylovelyxo · 1 year
Text
*Steve, trying to get you to eat healthy*
Steve: “Here, have a grape. They’re juicy.”
Y/N, drinking wine for breakfast: “Nah, I got the stuff grapes grow up to be right here.”
*clinks glasses with Tony who also happens to be having alcohol for breakfast*
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The Lost 2
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of loss, grieving, death, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
Characters: nomad!Steve Rogers
Summary: You move into a shared flat and encounter a mysterious man.
This one's a bit longer than the intro.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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Your first shift at the store goes well enough. Aziz, the manager, shows you where everything is and goes over the policies. The till is behind a window, a slot just big enough to get products and money through. It’s close to your apartment so not the best part of town. The next day, you’ll be alone.
You head home with a dented can of ginger ale in your bag. Aziz said you could have it for free since half the paint was scraped off during shipping. You don’t drink much soda but it would be a nice treat.
You find yourself dragging your feet as you come onto your street. You’re still getting your bearings but you recognize the boarded up white brick building across from the converted two-storey house. You stare at the faded brown facade of your abode, fumbling with your keys nervously. You still feel so out of place.
You cross the road and climb the steep iron staircase that leads up the side of the house to the second floor. The heavy metal grate that shields the thick wooden door rattles as you open it and clanks behind you loudly despite your efforts to keep quiet. The place feels desolate as you enter. Aside from last night, you haven’t encountered anyone else.
You creep into the kitchen and go to the fridge. On it, there’s a yellow paper with blue ink on it; numbered bullets that you read slowly. ‘House Rules’, the jagged capitals spell out the title above at least a dozen lines. ‘Clean up after yourself; mark your food; no stealing.’ That paper feels very apathetic, suggesting that no one really talks to each other here. Maybe it’s better that way.
You open the fridge and search your bag for your can of ginger ale. You hesitate to put it inside. You have no way of marking it. You consider the remnants of the logo on the side. You could just have it warm.
“There’s a sharpie in the top drawer,” a voice breaks the rigid silence like cracking ice.
You glance over at the man standing in the doorway, the same that leads to your bedroom. You quickly peel away your eyes and nod. You can’t manage a thank you as your surprise has your adrenaline pulsing.
You close the fridge and put the can on the counter. You open a drawer, not much inside besides electric tape and the promised sharpie. You write your initials on the top of the can as the man enters and stops a few feet from you, popping open a cupboard with a harsh click.
You think it must be the same man as the night before. He’s about the same size as the ominous shadow, at least from your periphery glance. You sidle over and pull the fridge open once more, setting your can in the door before you close it gently.
Tension roils around you as the man takes out a large container. It’s unmarked except for the sharpie emblazoned on the white plastic; ‘S’. Just a single letter.
You back away and fix your bag on your shoulder, shuffling around him in the small kitchen. He doesn’t say anything but you can hear his long exhale. It sticks with you how easily he’s snuck up on you twice. You shrug it off as paranoia from the shelter.
You’ll be okay. You have a lock on the door here. You have your own space. A tiny haven in an immense world.
🚪
Your first shift alone isn’t as intimidating as you thought. Most people come in and grab what they need then go. You ring them through with as much friendliness as you can muster. Most don’t respond, some chatter a bit, rambling about a thousand different things, and others even glare at you as they point to the small earbud in their ears. The flow of customers is ebbs and flows, busier around lunchtime and dull after two.
You’re almost done with your hours there. You take the time to bring out the bag of chips Aziz marked for stocking. You sit on the step stool as you set to find the palace for each brand. You put the Cheetos on the shelf as the door chimes and signals the entry of a customer.
You stand and peek over the shelf. You see only a man’s shoulders and the back of his head as he turns his back to you, perusing the wall of magazines. His hair pokes out in shaggy shanks from a ball cap. You grab the folding foot stool and the box and quickly scurry back behind the counter.
You put them down clumsily, a loud clap as the stool falls against the back of the counter. You pull shut the divider behind you and go to the till. You brace the counter as you peer over at the man again but try not to stalk him.
He strides slowly through the store, just along the back wall as he peruses the bottles and cans of cold drinks. He opens a door and takes something out. You look down and review the checklist for your shift. The last thing you need to do is balance the till before the evening shift gets here.
You listen to the man’s steps, flicking your eyes up now and again to keep track of him. You can also see him on the security screen through the black and white lens. You don’t even get a good look at him then as he keeps his chin straight, the beak of his cap effectively hiding his features.
He approaches the counter and you pop your head up. You’re stunned to recognise him. The same man from your flat. Your neighbour. Nameless and mysterious.
“Hey,” he says as he puts his fare on the other side of the plastic barrier.
“Hello,” you eke out. You’re getting used to your own voice again. In this job, you don’t have a choice. “This everything?”
“Mhmm,” the hum is rocky in his throat. 
You grab the two bottles, part of a two for three deal, and scan the premade protein milkshakes one at a time, then the magazine, Time, and a bag of pretzels. Nothing too unusual. His fingertips scratch the coarse hair along his jaw as he clears his throat.
You read out his total and he reaches into his jacket. He pulls out several bills and counts them out before handing them over. You take them and tally his change from the drawer.
“Shouldn’t be working alone,” he comments as he holds his hand out for the change.
You drop the coins into his cupped palm and recoil at his remark.
“Not to scare you,” he tucks the change away.
You shake your head. No, you thought it before but a job’s a job. You scrunch your lips and look around evasively.
“Do you want a bag?” You offer, not knowing how else to respond.
“Please,” he accepts, “and thank you.”
You nod and pull out a bag. You take his items and shove them inside as he watches quietly. You push them through the slot and he takes the handles, pausing as you feel him looking at you.
“When you walk home, avoid Mason Street. Go one up to Doxtator. Safer,” he advises.
You dip your chin, embarrassed. You know you don’t look like much but you can take care of yourself. You have so far.
He leans back on his heel before twisting on his soles. It squeaks with his slow hesitation and he marches to the door. You look up as the chime goes off and he disappears into the street. Only forty minutes to go.
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rogersideup · 2 months
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。°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini ♊︎ ✩ °。
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Chapter 3
Expendable
Series Masterlist
Previous part: wine and dine next part: pink peonies
Word Count 5,333
Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts.
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Standing in front of a human shaped dummy in the private training room, Steve was showing you all the best ways to direct an attack to assure your opponent goes down, and stays down.
After your mission and injury, Steve was out for a few days on a business trip the same day that you were medically cleared to get back to work. So, it had been a while since the last time you trained together.
You both decided it was a good idea to just take it easy and review what you already know as a means of studying for your final evaluation coming up.
Every agent had to take a final evaluation upon completing every single training course shield had to offer. It was a big deal, and though nobody had any doubts that you were ready for it, it could never hurt to review and improve.
"Knock knock, bitches." Bucky announced, causing both of you to stop.
"Hey, Bucky boy" You greeted him.
"What's going on, Buck?" Steve questioned.
"I dunno, I'm bored." He shrugged. "Can I just sit and watch?"
"Don't you have work to do?" You asked with a giggle.
"I finished!" He defended himself. "You two get to spend so much time without me, it's only fair I get to insert myself here whenever I want to."
"You act like this is personal and not us doing our jobs" Steve raised an eyebrow at him.
"That's a technicality I'm choosing to ignore." Bucky sat on the ground with his back against the wall.
Steve looked at you to make sure it was okay that he sat and watched, but he caught something he wished he hadn't. Just for a split second, you narrowed your eyes at Bucky, and he gave you a very subtle nod back.
He realized that it very well could've been nothing, but it definitely seemed like it was something.
Though Steve didn't bring it up at all, he made mental note of it. He was confident in his deep knowledge of both of his friend's behavior, and he was choosing to trust his gut on that observation.
The rest of your time together, Bucky sat and watched quietly, only occasionally responding to conversations that would break out that weren't work related. Towards the end, Steve wanted to confirm some scheduling, so he cut the physical work a few minutes early.
He sat on the bench with you as you pulled a sweatshirt over your head, and your everyday sneakers onto your feet.
"Okay, so, your final evaluation is one week from today." Steve noted. "So this week will be really simple, we can keep doing this, just reviewing what we've already been over. But our training together is still supposed to run until the end of the month so we have three extra weeks together."
"What am I supposed to do when this ends?! I'll be so bored without you!" You exclaimed.
Steve chuckled. "You should be happy that you survived my course!"
"I mean I am, but then what?"
"Maybe another Avenger will take you under their wing." Steve shrugged.
"I can only think of one Avenger with wings" you noted.
"What do you want to cover in the three weeks together after your evaluation?" He asked.
Your lips formed into a pout. "I know what it should be, but I don't wanna do it"
"Restraints?" Steve questioned sympathetically.
"Restraints... I guess." You grumbled.
Every fighter had a weak spot. Just one thing that made their stomachs turn and their hearts race, something that really scared them regardless of mental work or preparation. Some people couldn't handle heights, didn't do very well when they saw blood, and really freaked out over handling certain weapons.
You just happened to be terrified of being restrained, which unfortunately was a very plausible situation to find yourself in as an agent. There was no reason why you were terrified of it, nothing happened in your life to make you fear it as much as you did. But the thought of having your hands or legs tied made you feel claustrophobic in a way you couldn't even describe using words.
"It'll be scary at first, but we'll work on it" Steve reassured. "Wouldn't you rather learn how to get out of any sort of restraint with someone you trust then find yourself in a situation where you're tied up at the hands of an enemy with no way out?"
"Logically yes, but in reality I would like neither of those things to happen." You responded with a twinge of sarcasm.
Steve laughed, "okay well, I wouldn't like that to happen to you either! But once you learn how to escape from a bunch of different scenarios, you won't be scared of it anymore. Knowledge is power!"
"I know you didn't just knowledge is power me, you loser!" You joked with a snort.
"Oh I certainly did, and I'll do it again." He stated with a smile. "Confidently!"
"Okay, I guess I trust you enough to teach me." You committed to the endeavor.
"Good job, pushing yourself is how you grow better as a fighter." Steve praised your bravery. "We'll start with the easiest and work our way up to the hardest, then you'll be such a pro at it that nothing could ever hold you back."
"Yeah, yeah." You playfully rolled your eyes.
"Then after our training together is officially over, I'm going to block off my schedule these same two hours every day to just cry." Steve put a hand over his heart.
"Can you do that to my schedule too? Maybe we can cry together?"
"I'll see what I can do." Steve agreed, before opening his arms up for a hug. You happily hugged him back. "Good job today! You're going to do great on your assessment no matter who is assigned to asses you. We all know it."
"Thanks for teaching me!" You smiled. "In all seriousness, I've really enjoyed getting to learn from you. Thanks for all the time you've put onto me."
"Anytime, Bug. I've been enjoying it just as much." Then Steve turned to include Bucky in their conversation. "What are you guys up to for the rest of the day?"
"Nothing, well, I think that's pretty obvious considering I'm just sitting here" Bucky shrugged. "Do you guys want to hang out? Maybe we can walk to that cool park a few blocks from here? Watch the sunset and get some fresh air?"
"That sounds good to me." Steve agreed. "Buggy, you in?"
Both boys watched as you stood up and slipped your gym back onto your shoulder. "As fun as that sounds, I can't. You know Agent 563? We made plans to have an early dinner together so I have to get ready to leave here soon."
"Booooo, buzz kill!" Bucky announced dramatically.
"That doesn't mean you can't go on a cute little sunset date with your boyfriend without me, Bucky." You smiled at him. "By all means, you boys have fun."
"I think that's great." Steve told you, ignoring the boyfriend comment. "563 is a great agent, and I think it's important that you girls stick together.
"Lord knows we need some time away from the amount of testosterone in this place." You agreed.
“Even me?" Bucky pouted.
"Even you." You smiled at him, approaching him for a hug that you had to bend over pretty far to get. "And Steve. I love you both, but I need to interact with other people than just you two!"
"Hey! I only talk to you and Steve and I'm doing just fine" Bucky defended himself.
"What about Natasha?" Steve wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at him.
"Don't bring up Natas-" Bucky started passionately
"I'm leaving!" You announced before an argument broke out. "Love you boys! Have fun on your date! I hope you hold hands and kiss each other's foreheads!"
Steve and Bucky stared at each other as you walked out of the room. The door closed behind you, and your foot steps faded until completely inaudible to either of their heightened ears.
"Why are you actually here, Buck?" Steve asked.
"You're in love with her." He claimed deadpan.
Steve's heart sank, but controlled himself the best he could as to not bluff. "Why would you say that?"
"I figured it out last night." Bucky admitted. "I was trying to sleep but my brain wouldn't turn off. I was thinking about the dynamic of our little friend group and it hit me like a train. I had to come confirm it with my own eyes."
Steve puffed out a performative chuckle and put his hands on his hips. "You understand how crazy that sounds, right?"
"Is it though?" Bucky raised an eyebrow while standing up from his spot on the floor. "I never noticed it until today. Your eyes physically twinkle when you look at her. Your cheeks have been pink since I got here, and you never stopped smiling until she left the room. Encouraging, sweet, considerate..."
"It's my job to be encouraging towards her, Buck. I'm her boss." Steve huffed, feeling annoyed and attacked by this conversation.
"Why won't you admit it?" He asked.
Steve stopped in place and noted Bucky's furrowed brows. "Wait, why do you seem so upset about this?"
"I'm not upset." Bucky denied, shaking his head. "But if you're actually pining after her, Punk..."
"What?" Steve's heart was pounding.
"Do you like her?" Bucky asked one more time, his tone was nothing but serious. His face was stone cold.
"I'm her boss." Steve slumped. "There's a power imbalance, I can't break her trust."
"And if she joins the Avengers?" His head tilted.
"She just got out of a relationship."
"It's already been a month since then." Bucky insisted. "Steve, this is between me, you, and the grave. I'm serious."
Steve threw his head back with a groan. It had been a while since he had seen Bucky this worked up about anything, so he knew it was important. But getting the admission to slip past his tongue felt morally wrong and partially impossible.
"Steve."
"Yes." He said simply, staring up at the ceiling.
"How long?"
"How long what?" Steve sighed.
"How long have you had feelings for her?"
"Since the day I met her..." Steve mumbled.
"Oh my-"Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before running his hand through his hair. "You hid it too well."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve froze up as his mind ran laps around Bucky's behavior. He already knew what was coming before he could admit to it.
"You're going to hate us, but I need to tell you something..." Bucky said apologetically.
Meanwhile, you were having a fantastic time with Agent 563, Clara. Though the two of you were friendly around the compound, you never had the chance to actually sit and have a long conversation with her before. Both of you getting the chance to vent about the workplace environment and culture to someone who actually understood what it was like to experience it in the unique way you did was refreshing to say the least.
After dinner neither of you were ready to end the conversation there, so you grabbed ice cream on the way back, and walked the whole way home together. At a certain point, work was a topic long forgotten as you two bonded over other similar interests like movies, hobbies, family, you two even shared the same love for video games.
By the time you made it back to your apartment, there was a smile on your face and a lightness to your heart you hadn't felt in a while. It was obvious that work was making you feel heavy and alone for a while, but you didn't realize how bad it actually was until you got away from it.
That smile was wiped off your face when you opened the door to Steve sitting on your couch with a stiffness in his body and an anger on his face you had never seen before.
"Hey, are you alright?" You immediately asked as his head snapped over to you the second the door opened.
Alarm bells were instantly ringing. Your heart dropped into your stomach, and raced with a speed you didn't quite know was possible.
You had given Steve and Bucky a key to your place just like you had keys to theirs, but the three of you typically hung out at Steve's place. Either of them coming to your apartment was a rare occurrence, and them ever using your key was even more rare.
Steve watched you kick off your shoes and hang up your purse, he felt so many emotions all at once that he couldn't even begin to get the words out.
You hesitantly approached, he still didn't answer. "What's wrong?"
"Why didn't you tell me?" Steve questioned. His tone very obviously gave away his state of emotion, it only made you feel more anxious.
You had a suspicion what this was about, but number one rule as an agent was to never incriminate yourself. "Tell you what?"
"Don't do that with me." Steve denied. "Bucky already told me. I don't understand why you guys would do that and keep it from me."
Your posture slumped knowing that this reaction was exactly why you and Bucky decided to keep a dirty little secret from Steve. So you sat down on an armchair next to the couch he sat on so you could explain.
But, he didn't even give you a chance to defend yourself before he spoke again. "Did either of you even consider how hooking up with each other would affect me?"
"Hey now, let's get some facts straight." You didn't let him go any further. "I feel like the term hooking up is giving what we did way more credit than what it was worth, and yes, we did consider you, which is why we both agreed we weren't going to tell you."
"Great, thank you so much for the consideration. That makes me feel really secure in my friendships with both of you!" Steve said sarcastically, feeling betrayed and admittedly heartbroken beyond words.
"Wait" You shook your head. "I know that sounds bad, but you have to understand that we all have different morals and personal opinions when it comes to sex and we knew you wouldn't understand."
"What is there to not understand?" He questioned. "You two had sex with no regard to how it would effect our friendships with each other."
"First of all, it wasn't sex, there was no penetration." You corrected. "Second of all, we didn't think it would effect our friendships because that's all we are to each other."
"I don't care about the details or what actually went down between you. Had either of you told me you liked each other from the get go it wouldn't have been a problem. I would've been happy for you two." He grumbled.
"We don't like each other." You denied. "We were just at the right place at the right time, things moved fast, and that's that. There's no romance happening, nothing to make social group weird. We all know Bucky likes Natasha."
"Well it's weird now." Steve glared at you.
"What do you want me to do now? It already happened, I can't go back and change it." You noted. "Want me to suck your dick too and call it even?"
"This isn't funny and I really don't appreciate that comment." He scoffed.
"It wasn't weird for you until Bucky opened his mouth, huh?" You asked him. "Was it weird for you two weeks ago when it actually happened?"
"I don't care." He swallowed thickly.
Feeling quite taken back by his behavior, and a little more that a little annoyed that Bucky spilled the beans, your attitude came out. "I'm a grown woman capable of making grown choices, and I don't owe you an explanation of what I choose to do with my body, Steve."
"No, you don't." He agreed, but you made him snap. "But I'm feeling betrayed and disrespected by the two of you, and that, I do feel like I'm owed an explanation for."
"Are you mad at Bucky too?" You snapped right back. "Huh? Did you yell at him?"
"He told me the truth." Steve rationalized.
"Yeah, well I never lied to you." You pointed out. "And why did Bucky feel the need to tell you what we did privately? Huh? Do you feel like I'm allowed to feel betrayed and disrespected for him going against our word?"
"I'm not here to tell you how to feel. I'm here to try and rationalize any of the choices we're making right now." He raised his voice. "My friends are the only family I have, and I refuse to lose a friend I've already lost many times before over a stupid choice."
Just with that one sentence, he broke your heart. "And that right there, is exactly why I thought it was okay in the first place." You growled as all of your self defenses came rushing in to protect you from the words you always knew to be true but never wanted to admit.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm expendable to you and Bucky. I always have been." You stood up from your spot next to him. "You say you're upset because you didn't want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group but guess what? The dynamic has always been you and Bucky hanging out and me just kind've being there. You'll always choose each other, and everyone will always choose someone else over me."
"That's not true." Steve denied. Although he was seeing red with anger, your words made him sad for you.
"I'm never anyone's first choice, Steve. You'll always choose Bucky, Bucky will always choose you. My sister will choose her husband, Harvey will always choose literally anything but me. Nobody else here is willing to be my friend because it's like social suicide, and I had to completely isolate myself from my normal civilian friends for this job." You explained. "I'm the best agent so I get used and abused and harassed out of the pack, but if I become an avenger I'll be singled out as the worst one. You and Bucky claimed you'd always have my back but now I know that's not true."
"Stop saying that." Steve shook his head.
"Nobody wants me." You spat, Steve could tell you believed that to be true.
It shattered his already broken heart, because if you had even the slightest clue of how bad he wanted you, you'd never say those words again. But he couldn't tell you, it simply wasn't an option.
"Nobody wants me ever but that night, Bucky wanted me. So forgive me for latching onto any ounce of human connection I can get these days. That choice was never about you, and I'm sorry that it hurt your feelings but I'm struggling more than I ever have and right now I need to put me first."
"Bucky and I have always loved having you around."
"That might be true, but you proved my point with your own mouth." A single tear fell down your cheek, but you wiped it away just as fast as it fell. "You said you weren't willing to lose Bucky. But right now it feels like you're willing to lose me."
"Don't be mad at him." Steve shook his head.
"He had no right telling you that without consulting me first." You denied. "Unless he broke some kind of code or something there was no rea-" Your own words made reality wash over you like an angry ocean wave trying to swallow you whole. "Oh my god."
"No-" Steve shook his head.
"He broke bro code, didn't he?" You asked Steve, feeling suddenly nauseous.
Steve felt nauseous too. His brain couldn't think of anything but the truth at the moment, but he was horrified. Though he tried to formulate the correct response, nothing felt right at the moment. "You slept in my bed."
"Oh my god." You took a slow step back, unable to process what information you were just receiving. He watched as your face turned just as red as his. "You like me?"
A billion different things came to mind. So many scenarios, so many possibilities, every single time you suppressed your own feelings for Steve because you never thought a man like him could ever love you. It was wrong. Yet all this time, he was harboring a secret of his own. And even then it was still wrong.
"You slept in my bed while you had a boyfriend." Steve spoke so firmly you swore you could feel the bass vibrating the floor.
"This whole time you we're hoping I'd jump right into your arms after breaking things off with Harvey?"
Steve knew where this was going, and the look on your face was just as horrified as he felt. Your lip was wobbling, your hands were shaking, and with every statement you took a step back. "No. But I did think that there was enough happening between us that you wouldn't go for Bucky."
"I slept in your bed because I trusted you, you asshole." You cried, pointing a finger at him. "I slept in your bed while staying with Harvey because he was the only man crazy enough to actually love me and I didn't ever think anyone would be crazy enough to love me ever again."
Steve opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. His jaw hung open for a moment, before it closed, then opened again. "Well then I guess you were wrong."
"I was wrong." You agreed, wiping your face once more as you watched his eyes tear up. "I trusted you to keep me safe in training, protect me against the people who are harassing me. I trusted you as a friend, a confidant. I even trusted you enough to see me naked, but I was wrong."
"This is exactly why I didn't tell you." Steve mumbled. "Because you trusted me and I didn't want to break it. Bucky didn't know."
"So let me get this straight. You had a secret that you kept from both of us, but Bucky's actions are excusable because he didn't know. My actions are inexcusable but I also didn't know, and we did the exact same thing together?" You asked. "You spend a lot of time talking shit about men's double standards around the compound for someone who turned around and is treating me the exact same way."
"I'm trying to talks through this so we can all go back to being friends."
"You we're never my friend." Your words cut through his heart like a knife. "You we're someone being nice to me in hopes of getting in my pants one day."
"No, that's not true." Steve pleaded, blinking back tears. "Our friendship means a lot to me. That's why I'm this upset in the first place."
"I don't think I can ever go back to being just friends with your or Bucky ever again." You cried. "All of you guys here are the same, I can't do this anymore."
Steve watched you clutch your stomach, as you spun on your heels and walked straight for the door. Little did he know, you felt so nauseous you were trying your hardest not to throw up.
"So that's it?" Steve asked, standing up from the couch. "You're going to throw away everything the three of us have built together as friends because we can't have a rational conversation?"
"A rational conversation? You can't even admit that you're only mad at me because you wanted to get into my pants and now you feel like you can't because Bucky got me first." You turned around to look at him. "That's all I am to anyone. That's the only relationships I've been able to form since I've gotten in this compound. You, Bucky, Harvey. I'm not a human to you guys, I might as well just be a glory hole."
"You're misunderstanding me." Steve shook his head, eyebrows raising upward like a sad puppy.
"That makes two of us." You turned back around and grabbed your packed duffel near the door that you always kept for emergencies.
"I care about you, you know that right?"
"It sure doesn't feel like it right now." You denied his claim.
"Where are you going?" Steve asked. "This is your house."
"The compound has never felt like home to me." The door swung open. You didn't even look back at him before stepping through the doorway. "Don't worry about where I'm going, just say the fuck away from me."
And just like that, the door slammed behind you and rattled the ground. You set off like a storm on the other side, and Steve was left on his own to crumble. Only when he was sure you were gone for good did he let tears fall down his face.
Trying your absolute hardest to hold it together you rushed through the compound hallways, desperately trying to avoid seeing anyone you knew before you made it to your car.
You didn't have it in you to have a face to face conversation with Bucky at the moment, but you did feel like you needed to tell him that the friendship was over, so you called him instead.
"Hey, bug." He answered sympathetically.
"Why did you tell him?" You cried.
"I had to." There was a deep sigh from the phone line. "What did he tell you?"
"Why the fuck are you protecting him?" You asked. It was admittedly a little harsh, but Steve had already amped you up.
"So he told you everything." Bucky stated. "I figured out he was in love with you last night. I couldn't in good conscience keep our secret anymore. He needed to know because the longer we kept it from him the worse this would've been."
"He doesn't love me, Bucky." You denied. "What he did wasn't love. It was control, and it was power, but it's not love."
"I can tell you're upset with him, but I don't think that was his intention." Bucky calmly denied. "Give it a few days to settle, alright? You can be mad at us all you want and I understand why, but emotions are high right now and it seems like both you and Steve are villianizing each other."
"I'm going to be gone for the weekend." You stated, needing to set firm boundaries. "I love you, but you hurt me and I need to get away."
"I'm sorry, bug. I really am." He apologized.
"You, Harvey, and Steve will all be blocked from reaching me unless it's during work hours. And as of now, I can't be a friend of yours."
"I understand" Bucky accepted the repercussions of his actions, though he was sad about it. "I hope you know we care a lot about you. I'm sorry this is all happening this way, but I still want you to be safe. Will you let someone know where you're going? Maybe Commander Bennett?"
"Yeah, I will." You agreed, feeling relieved that at least Bucky was being rational. "I hope in a little while we can figure this out between you and I, but it's going to take some time."
"I hope so too." He agreed. "Stay safe, and be smart. I'm here for you whenever you're ready."
You hung up, drove off, and the second the compound was in your rear view mirror it felt like the weight of the world was off your shoulders.
The weekend came and went simultaneously way too fast, yet painfully slow at the same time. You stayed with your sister who welcomed you with widely opened arms, and really took the time to listen to you when you spoke. She let you get it all out, she wiped your tears, then by morning you'd put on a brave face for Luca.
Spending a lot of quality time with him was truly the only reason you hadn't fully lost your mind. By Monday you felt well enough to face the shit show that was work, but it didn't last very long.
You had made it a whopping 4 hours into the work week before getting sent to Steve's office with an ice pack pressed to your cheek and Commander Bennett opening the door for you.
Steve looked up as the two of you entered, but your eyes were glued to the floor. You didn't need to look around to see where the chair was. You already knew.
He hoped that Bennett couldn't feel the thick tension that filled the room, but it was unusual for him to follow you to his office, and he did take note of how bad you looked.
Well, unfortunately for him he always thought you were stupidly beautiful, but your eyes were swollen. You looked exhausted, drained, and nothing like your usual fiery self.
"We need to do something about 212." Commander Bennett cut straight to the chase. "We can't keep cutting into her work time and having her get hurt because 212 and all his awful friends are picking on her."
"What happened?" Steve asked, trying to see what was under the ice pack.
"I saw them trip her with my own eyes. I don't know if they thought I wasn't watching, or if they thought they were being sly enough that I wouldn't notice, but this cannot continue." He stood firm. "Poor thing smacked her face against the floor, but she still is claiming that reprimanding them will make it worse. So what's the solution?"
Steve sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Do you have any ideas, Commander?"
"Give them one more strike. Let them all know that if they pull this again one more time before evaluation we will disqualify them from taking the test." He suggested. "That includes physical, and verbal attacks."
"That's a really good idea, thank you." Steve agreed. "I'll talk to them today."
"Are you comfortable with that, 306?" Bennett asked you.
"Yes, sir." Your voice was hoarse.
"I'm going to give her the option of cutting her work day short or continuing her training, but no matter what we all know she doesn't need more training." He noted. "I'll leave her with you so you guys can figure out your schedules."
"Thank you." Steve said politely.
Bennett left and the door clicked shut behind him, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor. Your options were go to your apartment and sleep the rest of the miserable daylight away, or spend two hours alone in a room with Steve.
You both already knew what the choice was going to be. There was no need to discuss the schedule change.
Steve knew you hated his guts right now, and he was still feeling hurt by you, but it took a few moments for it to dawn on him that he still needed to be a boss and a leader regardless. So he put his best foot forward.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
There was barely any compassion in his voice, he might as well have been a robot, so you didn't bother responding. You didn't even bother looking at him.
"Would you like to talk about the incident?" He pushed.
"No, Captain." You responded, coming to the same awareness that he was still your boss.
Your use of his title and refusal to look at him felt like a shot to the heart. "Would you like to be relieved of duties until tomorrow?"
"Yes, Captain."
"You are dismissed."
Just like the last time he saw you, you walked out on him without as much as a glance back knowing the next time you'd be forced to see him would be evaluation day.
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Next Part: pink peonies
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Debrief
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Steve Rogers x Female Reader
Summary: You confront Steve after your encounter in Stars Align to see if you two can get past it, or if any of it was real.
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ Only!, Explicit Smut, Mutual Pining, Catholic Guilt, Reassurance, Mentions of Sex Pollen, Kissing, Face-Holding, Vaginal Sex, Hair-Pulling, Biting, Steve Being A Power Bottom
Word Count: 2.2k+
Tags: @bullet-prooflove @letsby @skittle479
Read more MARVEL Stories!
“Rogers, wait!” You call out to him as he makes a hasty retreat down the hall away from you, his quick steps barely slowing to a walk as you try to catch up. “Steve!” You plead with him, picking up your pace to a slight jog before grabbing hold of his arm as you finally get close enough to him. “How the hell are we supposed to act like a team if you won’t even look at me?”
“I can look at you.” He snaps, nostrils flaring as he lets you turn him around just to prove his point. His eyes glance at your face before darting away to your feet, waist and shoulders, eventually landing on your hand that still loosely grips his arm. He sighs and shakes his head slowly, almost as if to rid himself of the knee-jerk reaction he couldn’t help but display. “I’m sorry, I just…”
“I know.” The close proximity of your training session with him had triggered you both, bringing up those primal instincts and complex feelings all over again. You could tell it had done the same for him, the physical change in his body more than evident before he walked away in hopes of hiding it from you. “But every time you do, you look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m a mistake,” you verbalize the thought that’s been haunting your mind for days now, his recent distance from you making you wish the best night of your life had never happened at all.
You watch his face fall as the words leave your lips, the air between you now infected with regret as he takes in a slow deep breath. “You’re not a mistake,” he pauses, forcing himself to face you. “But what happened was. And as much as I want to, as much as I’ve thought about it, I can’t go back and do it differently. I could’ve gotten you p…” He brushes his palm over his mouth before turning away from you again, his broad shoulders carrying the weight of his actions as he thinks through what to say next.
“It could have happened to any one of them.” You explain, walking around his sturdy frame in order to keep him engaged. You’re not going to leave him alone until the two of you finally resolve this.
“But it happened to us,” His eyes are wet with remorse as they stay with you, his voice growing weaker with every word he speaks. “To you and me. And when Bruce showed me those bruises on your skin, I…” his lip quivers as he trails off, dropping his gaze down to the floor to avoid your eyes once more. “I hurt you, and I see that everytime I look at you now.”
“But you didn’t.” You reassure him with a step forward, taking his hand and gently placing it over one of the bruises he’d left on your neck. “You didn’t hurt me, Steve, not even a little.” You keep your hand on his wrist and hold it there, your fingers noting the quickening of his pulse as he actively fights the urge to pull away. “We were both entranced, remember?”
“I remember.” His weary eyes glisten as they survey the yellowing outline along your jaw caused by his own hungry mouth. He carefully traces over the faded shape with his thumb, taking his time to stroke the delicate skin on your neck. He follows the rough design down to the next consecutive marking at the base of your clavicle, gracefully resting his thumb in the notch of your sternum.
“Is that all you see?” You hold your breath as you dangle the bait out in front of him, watching the wheels turn in his head before that pensive look no longer worries his features. You hold out hope that he remembers your sordid affair with more fondness than regret, that the memories of your bodies entangled with one another have bled as blissfully into his dreams as they had your own.
“It wasn’t all bad, was it?” You ask with warranted trepidation.
“Of course it wasn’t.” He finally confesses, as if those words uttered in that exact combination would send him straight to the very pits of hell. The reality of him still standing there before you, unscathed, immediately lightens the load he carries on his conscience as he swallows hard. “It wasn’t bad at all,” he admits, pressing his thumb against your pulse just deep enough to feel your heart rate increase along with his. “I’m just afraid you weren’t… was any of it real? Would you have even… if we hadn’t…?”
“Of course I would have,” you whisper, taking your turn to touch his face as his beard gently brushes against your palm. “And it was real to me.”
Steve had always been professional above all else and extremely old fashioned, his strict moral compass bleeding into nearly every other aspect of his life as the two of you spent more time working together. He never flirted with you or made dirty jokes, never touched you in a way that made you think he might want more than just a trusted colleague. He never talked about his dating life with you or anyone else on your team, so you assumed that he was either hiding something, or just wasn’t interested in any of that at all.
So how could you tell him that you’d been waiting for an excuse to get this close to him for months now, even before all of this? How could you tell him that your heart skipped a beat every time he looked at you, that you held your breath every time he patted you on the back or shook your hand? How could you tell him that your stomach tied itself into knots every time he smiled in your direction or got close enough for his scent to linger around you? How could you tell him that you found yourself staying late doing extra work just to feel that rush of dopamine you always got from his seal of approval?
“You’re saying you’ve thought about it before?” His tone changes from concerned to curious, his brows furrowing into his forehead as he awaits your answer. “With me?”
“Yeah.” You caress his cheek with your thumb as he leans in closer, the smell of his sweat swimming through your senses just long enough to draw out another confession. “That's all I can think about.”
“Me too.” That shy shade of pink fades from his lips, blending into a deeper, more flush scarlet as they stay parted merely centimeters from yours.
Unable to think of any other course of action, you take the leap and kiss him, relishing in the sensation of his lips on yours for the first time in days, even though in this moment it feels like an eternity has passed. The kiss is chaste at first, his lips pressing into yours with more fervor than you anticipated before they part just enough to taste your own. His fingers press into your skin, finding their way up the back of your neck and into your hairline as he pulls you in closer to him, the soft hair of his beard scratching at your chin.
You let him guide you, slowly walking you backwards against the nearest wall as his tongue finally brushes against yours as nearly all of your senses are overrun by him. You can almost taste his suppressed desire as he kisses you more deeply, his inherent need for you dissipating into the air in the form of quiet, whispered moans as his other hand grasps at your hips and waist. All you want is for this barrage of feelings to continue, to surround you so completely that all you can see, hear, touch, smell and taste is Steve, but others are watching. You’ve already been passed by a few other workers earlier in your conversation, and the last thing you need is another recording of the two of you in a public place.
You pull back from his kiss, immediately regretting your choice as he squints at you in confusion. “Not here.”
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Steve’s hands graze over your body as if you’re entirely made of glass, careful not to repeat the rough and greedy nature of your last encounter as he holds you close. They scale the peaks and valleys of your back and shoulder blades as his lips pepper kisses into the bruises he left behind almost as if to heal them, venturing a trail to your chest. Those hands of his curve down over your cheeks, squeezing them gently before sliding up under your thighs as you take your time straddling his naked figure.
You run your fingers through his grown out locks as he briefly pauses his course of kisses between your breasts to look up at you, finally without fear or shame. His pupils expand as he takes you in, a deeply suppressed smile tugging at the corner of his lips before you lean down to kiss them. You can barely believe that his mouth is on yours of his own volition, free of any chemical forcing his hands to navigate over every inch of your body as it carefully hovers over his.
Eyelids flutter as you rock your hips back and forth, spreading the moisture between your folds over his tip before sinking down onto him in one fluid motion. His breath warms your face as you envelop him, a tame swear ringing in your ears before he kisses you again to stifle his next involuntary expletive. His elation vibrates into your bones as you both moan into each other, his girth seeming both foreign and familiar as it delves deeper inside of you at a much more tolerable pace. His hands move their way up to your hips, gently pulling you down onto him until your skin is fully flush with his, thigh for thigh.
“You feel so good,” he whispers as he holds you there, pushing up into you just enough to draw out a little whimper as he grows harder within your walls.
“You too,” you nod into him, brushing your nose against his for a lazy kiss.
That initial blur, that enchanting ethereal state takes over again, only this time it’s different. This time that fire deep inside of you isn’t burning quite as hot, a slow and steady flame fanned only by your movements up and down as you continually take him in. That intoxicating pleasure of him stretching your walls with illicit perfection sparks a sort of muscle memory as they clench down around him, pulsating with overdue need. Flashes of your time together enter your mind as you collide with him, that utter desperation driving you forward as the sound of your skin slapping against his echoes against the walls of your empty bedroom.
Once his body is in tune with your rhythm, he matches your pace, increasing his depth and rate as your kisses turn into sloppier, messier love bites. Your hands travel over each other’s skin, memorizing every scar and blemish before tugging on each other’s hair as he finds that perfect spot, forcing you to cry out in just the right pitch to make him smile against your lips. You can feel his voice rattle in his chest as he groans words of praise into you, hitting that bundle of nerves at such a delicious angle that you begin to see stars behind your eyelids every time he slides back into you.
“You gonna come for me?” He purrs, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck to pull you farther down onto him with an upward thrust into your cervix. “Huh?”
“Uh-huh!” You whisper, feeling those stars shoot up into your belly as he pulls on your hair. Those rays of light burn so bright that they explode into thousands of tiny little bursts, tingling their way through your nervous system as they travel through your arms and legs, fizzling out into your fingers and toes.
Those few days you spent apart from him seem to disappear from your memory entirely. All you can remember now is him and the way he’s making you feel, sending you over the edge as your body shakes and spasms in time with his. You wrap your legs around his waist, forging your broken bond back together with a mixture of sweat, saliva and semen as you pull him in as close to you as possible. That primal desire you felt while under the influence, that urge to have him merge with you on every level hasn’t seemed to change, making you wonder what that chemical actually did to the two of you that night.
You moan as he latches onto your shoulder with his inevitable release, sucking another bruise next to the faded few that caused him so much concern before. His tongue massages your skin as his hands hold you tight, not letting you go as he twitches inside of you, sending another burst of pleasure up into your core as the both of you begin to shake in perfect unison. You rest your forehead against his, exhaling slowly as you kiss him deeply for what you hope won’t be the last time.
“See?” You whisper breathlessly, smiling against his cheek. “I told you you didn’t hurt me.”
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ronearoundblindly · 2 months
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Hideout (2)
touch-starved!Nomad Steve Rogers x motel employee!Reader
Sweet Baby (see previous or series)
Summary: 'Grant' becomes comfortable enough to tell you who he is, and you get comfortable enough to show him the kindness he deserves.
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Warnings for description of minor blood/injury and light smut (mentions of morning wood, dry humping, hair pulling, praise kink? maybe coached orgasm?). This series is 18+ only. MINORS DNI. There is plenty else for you youngins to read on my Light Masterlist, but this is not for you! WC 2.6k
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Warmer months are for updating the rooms, so they are on a rotation of renovation. There are really busy times and really slow times based on events in town, but there’s an understanding with Grant’s ‘party’ of friends that, if needed, they can stay in the room closed for repair. It’s not as if any room is uninhabitable when they need a coat of paint and some plumbing tune-ups.
Clark doesn’t remember you told him about this—you used the excuse that Grant ’s company are handymen (and women) who come in between other jobs,—so the front desk kid calls you while you’re out running errands one day.
Two ‘dudes’ want to stay in room eight on the end. So? Let them. Those are the people who fix things. Clark just says “kay.”
When you pull into the lot hours later, you don’t expect to find Grant sitting on the curb, filthy and exhausted in some gym clothes, a plastic bag set at his feet.
“Wha’ch’a waiting for?” you call with the window down, hoping his spirits can lift easily.
Grant peers up at you through long lashes. He’s had a knock-down drag-out with a field of bramble…or something. That’s when you notice dark, dried blood in the grime stuck to him, and he lets out a long sigh.
“Sa—Tom used all the hot water,” he huffs, “so I’m biding my time.”
Their room’s water tank, the one due for maintenance, is going to take an eternity to reheat, and it’s the worst luck that there really are no other rooms available.
“Hop on in. You can use the bath up at the house.”
He looks just as startled as you by the invitation, but in no simple terms can you express how bad it is to have a huge guy covered in blood hanging out in front of your rural motel. That’s horror movie bait.
You know Grant. You trust him. All he needs is to clean himself up.
He checks behind him again. The same mix of seeking approval or seeking the cover of ignorance returns to his pretty features, and he trots over to the passenger seat of the car, plastic bag in hand.
He helps you bring in the groceries and supplies from town even though you point him in the direction of the upstairs bathroom immediately. There’s a big jacuzzi tub in there, and he is welcome to soak for however long he wants. You’ll even wash his clothes in the mean time, if he’d like.
Grant seems hesitant to accept or argue.
You press on.
Showing him where everything is in the bathroom takes a minute. You fish around a cupboard for the muscle-relaxing milk additive, explaining it may help him…if needed. You don’t know what’s happened, so you’re flying blind for options.
When the tap turns off ten minutes later, silence descends, but he never handed you stuff to wash. You knock and try the door, just to crack it open so he can hear you.
First, you notice the color of the water. He used the milk bath alright, but whatever washed immediately off him has saturated and soured the clean white into a rusty tan. Second, you pick up the pile of clothes and find more in the plastic bag, except…it’s a suit with a star decal half-ripped and dangling from the chest. Third, you realize you can’t see him in the water at all, not his feet, not his head, no bubbles, so you rush in and shove your hands beneath the surface.
He shoots up in alarm, gasping and sloshing to a different wide, rounded corner of porcelain.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you shriek, hands out and spread wide. “I just thought—I don’t know—I didn’t know if you’d—sorry!”
He rubs his hands down his face and over his dripping hair. He doesn’t even speak; he just waves for you to stop apologizing and clears water shot up his nose.
You have to collapse to the fuzzy rug and hold your heart before it beats right out of your ribcage. You still repeat “sorry” a few more times and then manage an impressed “wow, you kept all the water in.”
He thunks his head back to the lip of the tub and props up one leg, his knee cresting the surface. “I have a talent…”
The dirt, despite how much clearly came off already, is smeared grossly across him.
He looks so tired.
“May I—“ you grab the shampoo bottle all the way at his feet “—help?”
Defeated in more ways than one, he nods through the same concerned and confused gaze that’s become his signature. He maneuvers nearer you while you carefully wet your hands, starting a lather. His head stays down, spine exposed, as you massage at the base of his skull.
His eyes shut.
Your heart now swells with accomplishment; you gave this man a moment of peace.
Fingers gliding over the sinewy, tight bands beneath soft hairs, you press circles around and around his scalp. He cranes backwards while you move up and over the crown of his head, and by just above his ears, he’s laying his full weight in the water, lax against the rim.
You keep going long after his hair is strictly clean, though you’ll recommend he rinse after soaking because the water is too foul to count on.
He remains quiet, so you dip your hands in the water at his shoulders, shake them about, and move on to scrubbing his face clean, too, working down from the hairline and over his beard.
Somewhere around his throat, the man sniffs.
He sniffs again, raising a hand from the water to stop yours.
“My name isn’t…” His eyes open finally, only to stare blankly at the ceiling. “My name is Steve.”
“Okay,” you say, abandoning the washing to sit back on the mat again. “Do you want me to call you that or Grant?”
He turns, brows furrowed, and in the most authoritative voice, he replies, “you can’t tell anyone.”
You rest your chin on the lip of the tub, too. “I know. I won’t.”
Eyes locked, you two stare at each other for a long beat.
“The Captain America suit kinda gave it away though,” you whisper, and to your surprise and delight, Steve flicks water at you in retaliation.
“Okay, okay,” you laugh, “handle yourself in here while I go start the laundry.”
You stretch and almost—almost—kiss his forehead because, for whatever reason, that feels right, but at the last second you tuck your head down, acting like you were just standing up. You can’t bring yourself to look back at him while gathering the clothes.
You keep busy downstairs, scrubbing at a few spots of caked on muck, trying not to listen to the sounds of splashing, the squeaking as he moves around, the rush of the draining bath, and the tap turning back on to rinse him again. You scramble to find the biggest t-shirt and pair of pants you own (although, come to think of it, Steve’s got fairly small hips, so you grab some stretchy sweats) and hand them through the door when realizing he has nothing else to wear.
He emerges with several visible cuts and scrapes but dismisses your offer to treat them.
“It’s not worth the effort. They’ll be gone by morning.”
You’ve decided something: if he doesn’t bring it up, you won’t either.
Whatever he wants to tell you, whenever he wants to tell it, you don’t ask. You are used to keeping guests’ confidence—not that anyone tells you deep, dark secrets, but you refuse to gossip about cleanliness or things in the trash—and ‘Grant’ will be no different.
You can, however, still tease him.
“Ready to share that queen bed with Tom?” You give his beefy arm a playful punch.
Steve groans.
“Kidding,” you beam. “I’m not making you walk that path in the dark right now. An elk could get ya!”
He pinches tired eyes, a ghost of a smirk realigning the hairs of his beard. You imagine that on any other day, he would put up more of a fight, but he’s fought enough.
“Yeah, okay. As long as I won’t scare the daylights out of your parents by being on the couch in the morning.” Steve steps over to the landing at the top of the stairs.
“They’re at a hospitality conference. I run the place…mostly. Besides, what kind of host would I be if I didn’t offer you a bed that fits you?” You dramatically bow and indicate your room. “This way, please, sir.”
Good thing he has no fight left in him. His eyes narrow adorably, but he doesn’t budge.
“I should let Tom know.”
“There is a phone in there, too. I’ll dial room eight.”
You get him some water, hanging his clothes to dry, offering as much privacy as you can in an old house with thin walls.
“Yeah, hi, it’s…yes, yes, I’m… Yeah, I know. I know, Sam, just—you don’t have to laugh about it. She let me use the bath, is all. You’re the one who—Well, don’t take all the damn wa—hello? Hello?” Steve is staring at the receiver of the land line when you appear in the doorway. “Uh, he…gets it.”
He sits on the edge of your bed, glancing around your neither childish nor sterile room. You put the glass down on your side table instead of handing it to him.
“Okay, I think you need rest,” you add, sweeping your hand down his bare arm.
You marvel at how the edges of his cuts are already shrinking, knitting back together in near-realtime. Your fingertips trace around the skin like an interactive roadmap.
First heal this, then he needs this, and this is deeper here.
You wonder whether he feels pain the same as everyone else. Is it dulled? Does he just have to ignore how much and how frequently he hurts because it goes away sooner? That’s a sad thought to you. Just because he’ll be okay, doesn’t mean he should suffer more.
He’s a miracle. As Grant, Steve, Cap, or nobody at all, he’s still a miracle.
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“You don’t have to go…”
The last of the evening blurs as you wake, but you remember Steve needed this. He asked you to stay.
Spooning is the only way to fit on the bed together. After finishing your own bedtime routing, you began behind the giant man, curled tight, lightly scratching over his broad shoulders and arms. He fell asleep so quickly, and you don’t recall how long after that you both turned over. You had to drape Steve’s awkward arm around you, show him he could hold you close, assure him he can be as comfortable as he likes.
Whichever way he settled is infinitely better than falling off the bed, and you’re grateful he’s accommodating in a small space. You suppose he has to be. Though, for a man as dense as a brick wall, he is shockingly pliant around you. 
Shame you have to stretch, ruining the picture of fitting puzzle pieces you’ve become.
Arms out and legs long, you roll, restless on the one side for too long in the night. Steve shifts around your moves, laying his head on your arm instead of the pillow. His arm that was your pillow wedges down by your waist instead.
Your knees knock his, so even in sleep, he lets them slot through, legs entangled and…his erection laying over your thigh, the tip poking your hip.
Your body tenses for a split second, the muscles of your leg brush harder against his cock, and Steve groans softly, the arm draped over you pulling your body closer.
He’s still asleep, breathing easy, his features totally relaxed.
His golden hair shines in the early light, and he’s so, so beautiful.
You move stray locks from his face, enjoying how he nuzzles and sighs as you play. Quiet, lazy touches.
His hips nudge forward for friction. His fingers grab at your nightshirt. One of his shifts angles his length to drive against your mound instead, and you gasp involuntarily, having smothered your excitement for too long.
He stirs, a heavier, longer breath followed by Steve's whole body going rigid and his eyes squeezing shut. He tries to bury his face in your arm, and you can’t help it. You hope he’ll continue.
You shush him, carding through his hair to soothe him as you did in the bath.
There’s nothing wrong.
He can feel good.
He should feel good.
You want him to feel good. Hell, you don’t say it, but you need to make him feel good.
Steve still won’t face you. He leans closer, shielding himself with your chest, but he doesn’t pull his hips away.
You can hear him thinking through his options groggily, and in your nervousness, you pull at the fistful of hair in your hand.
Steve whimpers and juts his pelvis forward.
“It’s okay,” you whisper. “Did you like that? Does that feel nice, Stevie?”
His abs flutter with a spasming exhale, but he says nothing. His rough hands dig into your back while he desperately seeks more friction.
You let him—you encourage him—to keep going.
“Whatever you need…it’s okay.”
He pants into your skin, making you sweat while he dissolves into a mewling mess of shame, taking what he deserves.
He bends his leg for leverage, the sole of his foot pressing flush to your calf. You feel his thumping heartbeat along all of your skin that touches his. He swallows moans which sound hollow and deep where they die in his chest before Steve grunts and stretches, the whole underbelly of his cock rubbing your inner thigh and baiting your clit mercilessly with almost-contact.
You release his hair, asking “do you want my han—”
But it’s too late.
Steve seizes you in his last moments hard before he stills, palms so wide you’ll feel the marks over an entire shoulder blade and the breadth of skin from your ass to your ribcage.
You yelp, the nails of your trapped hand clawing at the sheets around you. It’s a good pain. It’s worth it to witness how his body melts into yours after he comes. He’s lax and heavy, pathetic convulsions of ecstasy subsiding.
You’re only just starting to feel the wet fabric on your thigh when he peels away and rushes to the bathroom.
The best thing for him is to act normal. It is normal for him to be hard in the morning, to want contact and satisfaction, and the truth is it’s perfectly normal for you to dream of providing that for him. You want that contact with him. You are satisfied when he is satisfied.
That's scary because it's a secret as hidden from you both as his identity now, but you won't talk about it. If he doesn't ask, then he doesn't want the answer. It's better that way.
So that was okay, and this is okay.
It's okay, and you tell him when you bring his gym clothes back to the door. You repeat it as he walks out of your home unable to look you in the eye, his partially-destroyed past life wadded up in a fresh plastic bag.
At the bottom of the porch steps, he turns, still focused on the ground.
“Thank you for the…the bath.”
You can’t tell anyone about him—about how you feel for him—not even him. It wouldn’t be right. He doesn’t want that.
“I’m glad you feel better, Grant.”
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A/N: Google, Play 'Hopelessly Devoted To You.' *starts weeping some more*
[Next Part: Sensitive Boy, Part I]
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