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mytrashs-blog · 2 years

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Cruel Summer- Part 1. Getaway Car

-"It was the best of times, the worst of crimes I struck a match and blew your mind But I didn't mean it And you didn't see it The ties were black, the lies were white..."

Part 2. Holy Ground

It was a terrible situation, really. But she was not about to throw away the last few days of her life being her own; not when Tom was right there, looking dashing as ever and staring right into her eyes with his beautiful brown eyes and that smile that could easily bring the Queen of England herself to her knees and give him everything he wants. The biggest problem is that she wanted to give him everything he asked of her, and he wanted her, all of her; and that was exactly what she could not give him. Not now, not ever. Not anymore.

When this whole shit show came down on Amelia, she decided to just ignore it and keep on going with her life as if nothing had happened, but things seemed so far away two years ago, and now they’re literally one week away and she needed to start facing them.

Then there is also the fact that she and Tom have been very close for at least the last four years, and though things have never been serious, it was the most stable relationship in her life and she would never admit it out loud, but he is the only person she’s ever loved in her 24 years of life and she was having a hard time coming to terms with letting him go.

Every time she’s tried to explain the situation to Tom, she would get too cowardly and say something completely different or change the subject; and right now, with him naked in his room, right in his bed, she knows she has to tell him.

“Tommy… I need to tell you something.” Amelia said in a serious tone while getting up from the bed to avoid his eyes..

“Yeah, Ames, shoot!”, he said while doing the same and finding his jeans.

He looked at Amelia like he does when he’s ready to drop everything just to listen. He really is the kind of person that gives his undivided attention to whoever is talking to make them feel comfortable and listened to. It drove her up the wall… why can’t he be a little mean? Everyone's a little mean. That’s just the normal. But Tom Holland is everything, except for normal.

“I… I, umh…” she stopped for a second just to evaluate her situation. “I just wanted to tell you that…” Shit, why is it so hard to just say it?!

“Do you want to run away with me for the weekend?” Fuck.

Why didn’t she tell him? He’s gonna find out anyway and the later he finds out, the more he’s gonna hate her and she’s really gonna lose him.

But a getaway weekend would be nice, right?

“Really?! Amelia Hicks… Are you kidding me? Tell me this isn’t an evil joke of yours please, love!”

Well.. not a joke, but it’s definitely evil.

“No, it 's not! I’m serious!”

Kind of.

“Oh my God! Yes! Let’s go! Where are we going? Can I bring my guitar?”

Shit.

“We can roadtrip to a cabin in the woods. And baby.. How are you supposed to get better at playing guitar if not by playing it? Or course you can take it.” She told him while putting her hands on his shoulders and pecking his lips.

Well… now she really needs to book a fucking cabin in the middle of the fucking forest.

Driving away from the city with Tom at a moment like this, when her father, her mother and pretty much everyone in her family was pressuring her to assume the situation she was in, truly felt like running away from a crime scene with all the money and a stolen car to start over.

But even with Tom singing to the top of his lungs to every tune and making her laugh all the time, she couldn't help but remember this was the last time they’d be able to run away and just be happy together. She pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and decided to just go with it.

Looking at him from her seat, she remembered the first time they met. It was at one of those absurd parties her father throws in the name of charity (even though he gets more money for himself than the amount he gives to charity), and Tom was promoting one his first projects and went along with the producer to get some pull on some rich guy to get it to more places and it would make more money. Rich people really suck.

So he was basically there as a boy toy. And she was there because she was required to humor her father’s guests, so she was also there as a toy for everyone else to enjoy.

A few hours into the party, when all her dad’s friends had forgotten that she was about 30 years younger than them, she decided to run away and hide in her dad’s studio, but Tom was already in the room, sitting by the window, looking into the garden and absently humming a tune while fidgeting with his fingers.

Amelia apologized and tried to leave, but he insisted she’d stay. They stayed quiet for a while, but Tom (being absolutely on character) quickly started talking to her when he sensed she was mortified and scared; she told her everything about the night and he told her too, and after hooking up right there and then, they remained really good friends… but neither of them ever wanted to be just that.

Tom has loved her since he first laid eyes on her. More or less. He was intrigued the second she walked past him in the party. She was wearing a tight silky black dress that hugged her body in the perfect way, her back was exposed, as her hair rested on one of her shoulders. He saw her walking and laughing with some older men and he thought he’d never had a chance, which intensified when he found out she was the daughter of the scary businessman hosting the event.

But then she walked into the studio where he was hiding from everyone, his social battery had run out and he needed to be alone and be himself for a little, he wanted to dance around and do something freeing, but he was wearing a suit, so he settled with humming and fidgeting for a bit by the window. She was looking like a deer in front of headlights. Scared, anxious and like she needed to be anywhere else but there.

He thought she’d be completely different than she is when he started making conversation with her to calm her down, but instead of finding a submissive, empty headed fortune heir; he found a strong, sarcastic and intelligent woman that wanted nothing to do with her own family, but she’s always been too scared to confront her father, so he’s had to sit and watch her give her life away to her father’s desires instead of following her dreams.

That’s the most frustrating thing he has had to endure since meeting her.

Neither of them ever thought that a casual hookup in a desk would end up with both of them in a car, four years later, going away for an entire weekend of them just being them and enjoying each other. They were still kind of teenagers when they met, barely 20 and trying to find their place in this world, and though he’s still trying to find his, she can’t bring herself to accept hers… it just feels like she never even had the chance to look for something that she wanted to do, something she was passionate about; she was given a place in this world like she was given everything else she’s ever had: not deserving it, not wanting it, but wrapped in a pretty bow and handed on a silver platter.

Having to hide things from Tom and blatantly lie to his face for the last two years has been hard and heartbreaking for Amelia. She knows he deserves the truth, he deserves a chance to start building a life after her, to start flying away like the free spirit he is. And it’s not that she didn’t want to tell him, but she always thought that he would do something crazy to try and get her out of the situation, but her father is way too rich and way too powerful, not to be dramatic, but he could have Tom mysteriously disappearing and found dead in a heartbeat; she wasn’t risking it.

Then there’s the fact that she needs a distraction from everything else and love has proven to be the best solution for all the shit she goes through every single day at her house. He is her home. She doesn’t want to lose that just yet. So she figured she’ll tell him when the trip is over. Just in case.

Getting to the cabin was a bit harder than she anticipated, but once they got there (only three hours later than they were supposed to) it was all worth it. The place looked extremely cozy even from the outside; it was right in front of a small lake, but it also had a big green area leading to it, where there were a few benches to sit and take the view in, as well as a fire pit to stay warm at night.

The little house had a porch with a table and rocking chairs to chill on the right side, but to the left there was a hammock that Tom was already looking at and Amelia just knew he’d be spending a few hours playing with it. The flowers and plants framing the house went along perfectly with the huge trees all over the woods and made the place look like a home, rather than a random cabin in the middle of nowhere.

The windows were huge, so they were not surprised to see the place was naturally super bright inside, but there was nothing even remotely near them, so it didn’t feel like they were exposed at all. As they opened the door, they were greeted with a set of huge couches around a rustic looking fireplace, the kind that’s made of stone and had pictures of animals on the shelves above it. In the center of it all there was a soft and fuzzy rug and a wooden coffee table, there was also a TV and other electronics in the living room, which sort of threw off the rustic vibes, but that’s fine.

The kitchen was super simple and it led directly to the dining area which had a big and thick wooden table and some equally big chairs all around. Everything in the cabin was made of wood. From the walls to the cabinets and all, the three rooms were also decked in wooden bed frames and bedside tables, the whole place had a very specific aesthetic, and though Amelia wasn’t sure she liked it or not, she appreciated the consistency. It was cozy and nice and she definitely wasn’t expecting much more given the fact that she booked it last minute and this was the best she could find.

They left their stuff in the room before going downstairs to have some dinner and before she knew it, Tom was lighting the fire pit and trying to figure out a particularly hard set of chords on his guitar… and he was not succeeding, by the looks of it.

Tom Holland is not the kind of person to remain fully clothed for too long and with the summer breeze hitting just right, his shirt disappeared pretty quickly. And Amelia Hicks is not the kind of person to let Tom get undressed and not do the same shortly after him. But to be honest, that lake was looking especially tempting with the sunset and the weather; she just needed to throw a cheeky look at Tom for him to understand what was on her mind.

They took the rest of their clothes off and a minute later they were jumping into the lake butt naked; sure they swam for a little bit and had a little fun, but as the light went dimmer, they swam closer to each other. Amelia’s hands instinctively wrapped themselves around Tom’s waist when he grabbed the back of her neck to passionately kiss her.

Kissing Tom, Amelia thought, was always a comforting feeling, she could always count on him to make life spin a little slower. With his hands moving to her butt, she went to put hers around his neck so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. His mouth quickly moved from her lips down to her neck, finding that sweet spot that just ignited the rest of their nightly activities.

They collapsed on the bed for a little after they regained full consciousness and evened out their breathing, but since Tom started feeling a little sleepy, he got up from the bed and got himself a pair of briefs to sleep in. Amelia didn’t take long before getting ready for bed herself, after taking a quick trip to the toilet. She put on a simple pajama set and cuddled up to Tom’s chest, who fell asleep almost instantly.

Amelia, on the other side, couldn’t help but let her thoughts run wild, so she was having a hard time trying to fall asleep.

It’s just… she wished things were different, that they were better so she could stay right there and then with the one man she’s ever loved.

But it was bound to break.

After this weekend, she would run away again and leave him forever. She needed to break his heart and accept her fate, she couldn’t help but shed a few tears as she thought about this mess of a situation.

The fact that somewhere very far from this little fantasyland she created, her mother and father are finishing setting up her wedding to a man she’s seen twice in her life, but he’s the son of her father’s biggest business partner and they need to have this sort of arrangement to bring their two companies together.

Her heart keeps breaking as she listens to Tom’s breathing. He looks so peaceful, like there’s nothing he has to worry about. That’s how people who own their life sleep at night, but she doesn’t own hers; she can only steal these little moments and run away. Like she did four years ago to McDonald’s at 3 a.m. with Tom. Like she did today to the middle of the woods to steal the last three days of her life being hers.

They were right when they said nothing good starts in a getaway car, that much she was certain of.

I hope you enjoyed this baby! I will try to post the next chapter as soon as posible but do keep in mind that I'm an adult and have adult responsabilities and I can't always attend to my little blog that I love so much.

Please reblog this if you want me to post the whole fic!

Tagging people for the exposure!

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd

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petri808 · 3 years

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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Inukag angst w/happy ending

Two weeks after the accident, Inuyasha received a phone call from his ex to check on him. She’d just heard about the accident and wanted to make sure he was okay. He knew he’d sworn to cut off all contact, but in his grief, Inuyasha latched onto any form of comfort he could and agreed to meet the woman for lunch one last time. Miroku tried to advise against it, only backing down when Inuyasha swore he would cut off all ties after this last meeting. It was just lunch, what could it hurt? It was only fair of him to cut the woman off face to face instead of cowardly through a phone call.

It was a little awkward, he couldn’t lie. But the lunch had been progressing well in a platonic way. Inuyasha was careful not to do anything that might lead the woman on... at least that’s what he believed because to him they really were just friends. They’d dated through high school, but when they graduated, Kikyo decided she wanted to pursue college away from their hometown, and that a long distance relationship rarely worked in her eyes. Inuyasha hadn’t been happy about it at the time, but life went on. He went to the local college and started working for his father’s company when his coworker Miroku introduced him to his then girlfriend Sango’s best friend and the rest as they say, was history.

By the time Kikyo returned, Inuyasha was absolutely smitten with his new girlfriend Kagome. He’d let his anger about his ex go and agreed to remain friends. What did it matter to him anyways since he was happily in love. Inuyasha could never have realized that just five years later that choice would cause his whole world to come crashing down.

“Oh, Inuyasha,” Kikyo reached over the table and took his hand. “I’m sorry this happened.”

He hung his head and ears drooped. “I just keep thinking about how I could’ve prevented all of this.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself. Kagome chose to act childish and emotional, that’s not your fault.”

Inuyasha pulled his hand away and eyes narrowed at the woman. Did he just hear her right?! “She was upset, with every right to be since I was being stupid. That doesn’t make her childish.”

“Inuyasha please,” the woman rolled her eyes. “Kagome doesn’t deserve your protection. Weak people like her aren’t worth stressing over.”

It was an instantaneous lightning bolt strike to Inuyasha’s head. He knew Kikyo could be harsh, but throughout the entire time he was with Kagome, the woman never talked so lowly of his girlfriend. Yet now that Kagome wasn’t around to defend herself, Kikyo’s true colors were blatantly shining through. Inuyasha immediately pushed away from the table and stood up. “All this time,” the deep growl evident in his tone, “I thought Kagome was just being ridiculous in her accusations, but you’ve just shown me she was telling the truth all along.” He glared at his ex, his eyes turning red in anger. “I’m such an idiot for defending you! It’s because of you we fought that night and now she’s still paying the price! I’m done Kikyo.” He gritted out. “Don’t you ever contact me again or so help me I will make you pay for your part in this!”

“Inuyasha!” She called after his fleeing form. “Inu don’t do this! I still love you!”

But he was done. He stopped cold to address Kikyo one last time. “No, you don’t. If you loved me you wouldn’t try to hurt me, but all you’ve done is hurt me. It’s over!”

Ugh! How he wanted to tear something apart! Inuyasha got into his car and gripped to the steering wheel of his car so tightly his knuckles were blanched white. “Fucking bitch!” He roared as he gunned it out of the parking lot towards... towards... “FUCK!!!!” Where? He hated being in his empty house and the guilt tearing him up inside at that moment, it just wouldn’t be right to go to the hospital. Miroku was bound to give him the I told you so speech and while deserving, really wasn’t what he needed or wanted to hear.

There was only one place he could think to run to.

He knocked at the family’s door with his head hung unable to look the woman in the eyes.

“Inuyasha?”

“Momma Higurashi, can I come in?”

“Of course,” she moved aside and gestured for him to enter. Once he dropped onto the living room couch, she sat beside him with a hand on his shoulder. “Is something wrong?”

“You’re gonna hate me—”

“I don’t think that’s possible, so just tell me everything.”

If his head could sink lower it would at the words unloading like a waterfall after a storm as he recounted the twisted triangle, he now knew was real. Kagome had been so right all along about Kikyo, but the woman’s devious and manipulative nature tricked him into believing it was just in the rival’s head. All this time Inuyasha thought Kagome was acting like the jealous one, and in the end, it was his ex all along. How is he supposed to fix this?

“I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me for what I’ve done to your daughter, but I just couldn’t go home...” Tear pool in his eyes ready to burst just thinking about how empty he felt in that moment. “I can’t stand being in our home without her there, it hurts too fucking much.”

“Inuyasha, I don’t hate you. Am I upset, yes, but there’s no hate in me. I can see that you understand now along with the pain you’re going through, and that encourages me to forgive you.” Mrs. Higurashi cradled his face and brought it up so she could look into his eyes. “How could I hate the man who loves my daughter so much that he’s willing to bear his soul to their mother like this? I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law.”

“But look at how much pain I’ve caused, how can you be so nice to me?”

“Because Kagome wouldn’t want me to hold this against you.”

With that, Inuyasha lost his remaining composure and sobbed even harder, letting the motherly figure simply hold him tight and stroke his back while he processed her words. She was right, Kagome’s heart was the purest he’d ever encountered who would look past the flaws and hold onto the positives. She wanted him for him, and if a person were deserving, fought to show them they are worth so much more. That’s probably why it took so many years for Kagome to leave that night. She’d always held out hope that Inuyasha would see the truth.

As Mrs. Higurashi soothed the despairing Hanyo, she spoke. “I know how hard this is Inuyasha, but Kagome’s body is healing and getting better every day. When she wakes up, she’ll need our love and support more than ever to get her through this.”

“I know...” he rumbled into the woman’s shoulder. “It’s just so scary to think, she won’t even know who I am.”

“And that’s why it’s so important for you to stay strong and help her remember, to show her the man she’d fallen in love with is still there for her.”

“You’re right… do you think she will… love me again?”

“I think so.”

The woman’s words seemed to satisfy Inuyasha for the time being. If Kagome woke up not remembering him it’ll hurt, deeply, but that just meant he’ll need to try even harder to win back her heart— and damn it! It was a challenge Inuyasha was not willing to lose. He couldn’t lose this fight or the road it might lead him down was... not something he ever wanted to think about. This time around he had the advantage of knowing all the things that make her happy, so he’ll put it all to good use. And if at some point Kagome regains her lost memories, hopefully the fact he remembered and did such things gave her the strength to forgive him.

Inuyasha released a grounding exhale. Now that he had a pseudo plan, a tiny weight felt lifted from his shoulders. But one remained. He pulled away from Momma Higurashi as he wiped away the drying tears from his cheeks. “Could I ask for one more favor?”

“Sure, dear.”

“I don’t wanna go home tonight. It’s too lonely.”

“Oh,” she smiled gently. “You’re welcome to use Kagome’s old room. Maybe it’ll bring you a small measure of comfort.”

Whether or not it would, it was better than a cold and empty house. “Thank you.”

And it did help to some degree. Kagome’s lingering scent in the room was both a comfort and a curse. It reminded him of her absence, yet the familiarity was soothing enough to relax him, to remind him of her presence and the importance of staying true to his choices. So, as he lay there that night staring up at her ceiling, Inuyasha allowed the happier memories to come back. Of nights when they first started dating, or times he’d snuck into this very room to watch her sleep. In those early days, he’d been much more brash and walled off to her advances— yes, her advances. He had still been in pain from the break-up with Kikyo when they’d met, but Kagome’s gentle pushing and prodding eventually morphed into something more. She was a shoulder to cry on, and the strength he needed to mend a broken heart. Even the anger he once felt about losing his mother at a young age had haunted him, and it was Kagome who helped those wounds to heal. He really owed the woman a lot, and now it was his turn to return the favor.

#inukag #inukag au #inukag fan fic #inukag fan fiction #inuyasha #kagome higurashi #inuyasha x kagome #angst w/happy ending #ch 3 #missing memories #petri808

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heyheydidjaknow · 3 years

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For anyone who is wondering why I deleted the chapters, I was very tired and forgot what tenses were, so I had to go back and change it all, and that is a pain on Tumbr. Tumblr also, apparently, either has a character or word limit, so this is our first 2 parter. I know I could just separate them into chapters, but I feel weird about making a whole chapter devoted to a date, so.

Edit: Who was gonna tell me I misspelled Casey?

Chapter 6 Pt 1

Leo sighs. “Okay, the fact that this will be the second creepiest stunt you’ve pulled this week says a lot.”

“Relax.” Donatello draws another line. “If she has a map of the foreseeable future and showed it to me, it obviously makes sense that I should answer in kind.”

“But,” Raphael points out, “this is the most desperate thing he’s done this week.”

“Zip it.” He caps his pen, holding his diagram up and walking off to his newly obtained whiteboard. “Besides, it’s not a comprehensive flow chart—attempting to list every possible conversation thread would be futile. It's simply a visual aid to remember the general actions I should take in any given situation.” Although you have been promising to “teach him a thing or two” about plot structure one on one, a part of him thinks it appropriate to make the first move. It appears to be the gallant thing to do, anyhow.

Mikey hops over the table, following one of the paths with his finger. “How come you have a shark on this one?”

“Oh,” he nods, “that’s in case she decides to go to the beach and gets attacked by a shark.”

“And why are there these Xs on this one?”

“That signifies the end of one of our lives.”

“And the hearts?”

He blushes. “I’m not answering that.”

Raph shudders. “Man, this just feels gross. I can already feel the secondhand disgust.”

“Raphael,” Donatello sighs, “love is a complex enigma that, if not thoroughly considered and tailored, will crumble before your very eyes. I cannot and will not destroy what little relationship we have by being reckless. Besides,” he scoffs, “in what other possible manner could I ask her out?”

“Hey, Y/N,” Leo offers, “let’s hang out.”

“See, that’s too pedestrian.” He gestures to the poster. “Trust in the—”

You slam through the door. Donnie, apparently panicked, flips the board over with fumbling hands. “H-hey, Y/N. Hey.” He stands up properly, clearing his throat. “Hey.”

You point at him. “How do you feel about busting a corrupt disgrace to the title of scientist?”

“Good!” He peaks at his board, trying to steal himself. “Where are we headed?”

“A neuroscientist by the name of Rockwell got mutated.” You start heading out. “Asshole in question is Victor Falco, AKA Feral Falco, AKA The Rat King if we don’t haul ass. He’s at Rockwell’s lab.”

“Awesome. Let’s go.” He runs after you, shooting a thumbs-up back at his brothers.

You are going to murder a man tonight. Probably. Hopefully not. Depends on how hard it is to wreck his shit. You have been stalking the Channel 6 news for about a week now, waiting for the jackass to show up, and now that he has? You are not about to let him become the monster you knew he could and would become.

“So,” Donnie startles you, lost in thought, “how was your first day of class?”

“It was fine. Met Casey, avoided Irma like the plague, all that jazz.” You turn a right.

“Casey?”

“Casey Jones. Hockey player, real bad at math.”

“A guy?” He seems interested in this subject for some reason.

“Yup.” You reach into your bag, wrapping your fingers around your kitchen knife, hands already shaking. If you must kill him, you will make it quick. “My age.”

“Oh.” He sighs. “That’s… nice.”

‘Can I just take him to the police? I don't have any evidence. This is breaking and entering.’

He clears his throat. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“We’re here.”

You look up at the building, sigh. “So we are.”

He moves in front of you, moving to meet you at eye-level. “Is there anything I need to know before we go in?”

You take a deep breath. “The man in the lab coat is the perp. We need to take him down, first and foremost. He may act a fool, but he’s accountable for the mutation of his partner. We either have to incapacitate, convict or, if necessary, kill him.”

He swallows. “This guy is that bad?”

“Not yet.” You start pulling the knife out properly as you push the door open with your clothed arm. “But it’s best to pull a weed out from the root.”

He follows you closely.

You look down at your phone to double-check that this is the offending room. “Here.” You back up, gesturing to the door eccentrically, heart pounding in your chest. “This is the room.”

He approaches you, brow furrowed. “Y/N,” he asks cautiously, “don’t take this the wrong way, but you look sick. Are you alright?”

You nod. “Nervous is all. Haven’t done this sort of thing before.”

He offers a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry.” He gives you a thumbs up. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, alright?”

Your knuckles go white around the grip as you try to release some tension. ‘Don’t choke. That’s his job.’ “Yeah.” You return it. “Oh, are you free tomorrow night? I still have to give you that lesson.”

His face lights up. “Y-yeah! Totally!” He grins eagerly. “Should I go to your place? At what time?”

“We’ll hash out the details on the way back.” You look prominently to the lock. “Now, I take it you have some gadget or gizmo to help us open this bad boy?”

He kneels, pulling a device from the utility belt on his hip and sliding it into the card reader. “Of course.”

The door lets out a harsh buzz, the light turning green. You pull your sleeve forward onto your hand, pushing the door open.

The room smells like metal and mold and decay, a certain lethality hanging in the air when you enter. You stay close to the wall, pulling down a lever to illuminate the harsh laboratory in an even harsher light. And there, caught frozen as he pockets a vial, is Victor Falco.

His eyes flicker towards the door.

You tackle him to the ground, shifting your weight back onto his legs, and pin his arms above his head. “Donnie,” you call, stopping his struggling with a knife pressed against his neck, “would you be so kind as to find a few things for me? I can tell you where they are in the room, but I’m a bit preoccupied.”

“Uh, sure.” His voice sounds strange to you. Tight. Nervous? Confused? You ignore it for now.

“What is the meaning of this,” the scientist bellows from underneath you. “I demand you give me an explanation!”

“Oh be quiet, traitor.” You press the blade against his skin. “We both know the crime you’ve committed against your partner.”

His eyes widen.

You keep your eyes locked on him at all times. “The first thing you’re looking for is a container of mutagen. When you get to the desk, you should see 2 stacks of drawers.”

You do not hear his footsteps. “Mhm.”

“The bottom left drawer has a false bottom. If you pull it up, you’ll find a canister of mutagen.”

You hear the drawer slide open, the shuffling of papers. “Got it.”

“Fantastic. Now, on the desk should be a flash drive belonging to Rockwell. Grab that.”

“How could you possibly know?” You feel his wrist tense as he clenched his fist. “I was so thorough.”

“I’m psychic,” you lie, smiling coldly. “Be happy I met you here and not in your home.”

“Anything else?”

“Whatever is in his pockets, besides car keys and a wallet. You’re getting new chemicals.”

The doctor does not seem to like that idea. He starts writhing underneath you.

“If you don’t stop moving,” you sigh, bringing the knife up and down quickly, hovering over his left eye, “you, a neuroscientist, will have the pleasure of discovering firsthand if what people say about losing your depth perception is true. See, I’ve always heard that it settles, but I’m more than happy to see it happen firsthand if you’ll indulge me.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“You aren’t sure.” You chuckle darkly, fingers wrapping tighter still around his wrists. “I don’t need to be a psychic to feel your shaking.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a green blob crouch down, pulling vials from his pockets.

“You’re a child.”

“And yet I’m the one holding a knife to you.” ‘Why am I so calm?’ “You’re selfish. You’re prideful. You won’t try anything because I know you to be cowardly, and you won’t say anything,” you nod, “because, if you did, you would have to admit to breaking into your missing partner’s lab, and deal with the backlash regarding me and my associate bringing that hard drive to the police and letting them connect the dots.” You smile sweetly. “Donnie, would you be so kind as to get some distance between you and Mr. Falco?” You do not look over at him, focused on the current task. “If he pulls anything, you need to be able to bring that to the police.”

“Got it.” A few seconds pass. “I’m by the door.”

You slide the carving knife in that general direction. “Goodnight, Falco.” You grab his hair, slamming his head against the ground once as you leap to your feet. You grab the knife, sprinting towards the door. “And that is our cue to leave.”

Donatello, who is having interesting feelings about the whole thing, appears to have been snapped out of some sort of trance. He nods, and the both of you exit the scene.

You wipe your mouth on your sleeve, shaking as you rest your chin on the edge of the dumpster. “T-thanks,” you smile shakily. “I appreciate it, really.”

“Not at all.” He let your locks fall from his hand. “I imagine it’s hard, what with having hair and all.” He helps you down from your perch on a stack of crates. “Are you feeling alright now?”

“Besides my mouth tasting like stomach acid? Never better.” You sigh, rubbing your face with your hands. “Sorry. The nerves just kinda…” you trail off, cheeks dusted pink. “Well, you get the idea.”

“It’s alright, really.” He smiles fondly. “You were really bold in there. It was really cool.”

“I don’t feel cool. I feel the opposite of cool.” You start down the alleyway. “But at least we stopped a ton of problems in its tracks.”

You hear a primal cry as a large primate lands in front of you.

You look him in the eyes, already tired of this episode. “Good evening, Dr. Rockwell.”

His eyes snap to Donatello, who was already unsheathing his bo staff. You look over your shoulder at him. “Chill out. He’s cool.”

“He’s a giant monkey!”

“Dude, he’s a well-esteemed scientist.” You turn to face him properly, holding his arms out to get some proper separation. “Put the effin stick down.”

“But—” He stops, takes a deep breath, and sheathes the staff. “Alright. I’ll trust you.” He seems almost disturbed by your apparent ease.

You turn back to face him properly, smiling. “Doctor,” you nod, “your partner will be of no concern to you from this point onward. Rest assured; his research has been halted.” Your tone is politely respectful.

The wild eyes of the primate calm. He seems to at least sense the general sentiment. He nods once, leaping up onto the nearest rooftop and disappearing into the night.

You nod in satisfaction, looking back at the stunned Donatello.

“He calmed down so easily.”

“He has a human mind, for the most part.” You shrug, continuing down the alley. “Let’s head back. Man, if you dad knew the kind of trouble I just got him out of.” You giggle at his dumbstruck expression, walking backward to keep facing him. “Well, are you just gonna stand there lookin pretty or are you going to come with?”

His face goes red. He nods once, hurrying after you.

You two walk quietly for a little over a minute. “Hey, uh, can I ask you something?”

“Totally.” You decide to bite the bullet and pull of the manhole cover. “What’s up?”

“Why do you call him that?”

“Call who what?” You start climbing down.

“You know, not call him Master Splinter.” He pulls the cover back on, landing beside you. “You always call him my dad or Yoshi or Mr. Hamato.”

“Well,” you shrug, “he’s your dad, right?”

“I’m not saying it’s a problem,” he clarified, “or that’s it’s incorrect, but most people—myself included—refer to him as Master Splinter.”

You start walking with him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Donnie,” you sigh, “but, if I can help it, I honestly hope I never have to call him that.”

“Why?” He walks beside you, eyes tracing your figure subtlety.

“Didn’t I already say?” You nod back in the direction you guys came from. “You saw how I acted back there. This is only episode six or seven. The trauma I’d have to go through as a ninja here would kill me,”

“But you have the guts for it.” His voice is certain. “You’re strong enough, mentally, to be a ninja.”

You pause, your throat catching. You wonder if he would still think so if he had seen how you had spent your nights.

He clears his throat, blushing again. “I think you are, anyway.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in the crook of his neck silently. You feel him seize up under you. “Thank you,” you mumble.

He slowly relaxes, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. He rests his head on top of yours gently. Slowly, he buries his hand in your hair. He is always so warm— he makes you feel oddly safe. This is only the second time you have been this physically close to him, but you don’t think for a moment that he would try anything.

You back off, clearing your throat as your cheeks catch fire. “Sorry,” you smile timidly. “I’ve just been… I’m not usually this clingy.”

He blinks out of his stupor, looking down at you. “Huh? Oh, don’t worry about it.” He grinned giddily, almost drunk. “Y-You are all good.”

You swallow. “I’ve gotta do an introduction type project for school, so I gotta get back home.” You walk back in the direction you two came. “Come to my place at about seven tomorrow. I’ll order food.”

He nods, body relaxed. “Seven. Got it.” He does.

You wave, walking back to the ladder. “Then I’ll see you then.”

He stands there, watching you leave. As soon as he hears the sliding of the manhole cover back into place, he takes a moment to celebrate the victory before starting to walk back to the lair.

‘I got a date!’

Table of Contents

Chapter 5

Chapter 6, Part 2

#tmnt donnie #donnie x reader #2012 donnie #donnie #donatello x reader #tmnt donatello #donatello #tmnt #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #nyc #x reader #self insert

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artemis-verse · 4 years

Text

friend

summary: “Seeing how completely different he is compared to when they grew up with each other then stumbling onto him now makes her realize that even after all these years—she still doesn’t know who Kuroo Tetsurou is.”

note: features time skip! kenma + kuroo and side characters that aren’t related to haikyuu. some scenes include flashbacks. all characters in the present timeline is 21+. fem! reader. she/her pronouns. symbol: ~ indicates flashbacks

song: friend by gracie abrams word count: 2,284 words warnings: mild swearing and alcohol use genre: angst arthie’s note: this is part 2 out of 5 from the minor series!! i’m sorry if it’s a bit late as i’m currently struggling with a bunch of things atm (╥_╥). i searched up gracie’s meaning for this song and it was rlly interesting however i added my own twist to it. oh! forgot to mention, there’s like a flashback scene when we get to see their relationship so i hope it doesn’t get confusing! as always, i hope all of you enjoy! be sure to listen to the song recommended to get into the mood ^^ ↳ main masterlist ↳ minor series masterlist »»————-　➴　————-«« Achoo!

The vacuum whirred against the rug, suctioning all of the dust that’s been piling up after years of neglect. She rubbed her nose, mentally slapping herself for not cleaning the house properly. It was finally a day off from work and in the words of her mother— “stop worrying all the time and clean your damn house! It’s covered in dust everywhere, you’re gonna get sick if you don’t clean it.” Obeying her mother’s nagging, she spent the whole day cleaning the house and throwing out items that weren’t a use to her anymore.

»»————-　➴　————-««

“Thank you for the food.” She says as she picked up the chopstick. Savouring the taste of her mother’s leftovers, she hummed happily whilst watching a movie on her phone. Gulping down the cold water, she glances at the room that’s been abandoned for quite some time. A mental note made up in her mind to go check out the room after eating. With an exasperated exhale, she grips the doorknob and turns it, opening the storage room.

Ah.. so many dust.. and so many things to unpack..

Groaning, she trudges inside and decided to start with the herd of dust, vacuum in hand.

20 minutes later, the room is now free of dust. She glared at the boxes, why do I have so many of these boxes?! I lived here for 3 years already, she cursed to herself.

Starting from the biggest box down to the smallest; she began to unpack and rummage inside.

On her 4th box, it was a shoe box. She shrugged before opening the lid and seeing the components.

Huh, what’s this? She picked up the note— goodluck on your chemistry test y/n-chan! i hope you do your best and if you don’t, i’m always up for another study date ~ jk jk... or am i? anyways i’ll treat you to ramen afterwards! meet me at the front gate - tetsurou <3

She swallowed the lump in her throat, gently placing the note down. When she examined the other items, she came across photographs of her and Kuroo.

In the first picture; they were only 15. Starting high school and eager to learn about the world. Both holding up peace signs and grinning happily in their uniforms.

It made her feel older, reminiscing the old times of when they were together. Pushing away the thoughts of him, she sets the box aside and wrote “DO NOT TOUCH” onto it.

With that, she resumed cleaning other parts of the room and left the box alone.

»»————-　➴　————-««

“Here’s to Nakano’s promotion!” Everyone clinked their glasses together, drinking the beer to celebrate their colleague.

“Oh! By the way, I invited my friend over. He’s coming in...” “Oya? Did you guys start without me?” Nakano grinned and looked up. “Now! Everybody, meet Kuroo Tetsurou!”

Ishida assured Kuroo to his seat, “Welcome Kuroo-san! Make yourself comfortable.”

He uttered a thank you and gaped at the food displayed on the table. “Are we having a feast or what?”

Morita nodded, “Yup! Nakano-kun got promoted to be a manager and he’s treating all of us!”

Kuroo smirked at his friend, “Wow! You’re amazing, Nakano!” He pats his friend’s back, congratulating him.

Nakano gave a sheepish smile, “Yeah, yeah. Oh! Everyone, feel free to introduce yourself to Kuroo.”

Everyone introduced themselves to him and made small talks, often asking him questions about his job and personal life.

“I’m sorry I’m late!” She announced when she approached their table. Everyone stared at her, “Ah, it’s okay Y/n-kun! There’s plenty of food left for you!” Nakano reassured.

She smiled at him and her colleagues until her gaze landed on the man she least expected to see.

“T— Tetsurou?!” She stammered, shocked upon seeing him.

He beamed at her, “Y/n! You’re here!” He exclaimed as he engulfs her in a hug.

“Oh? Kuroo-san, you know Y/n-kun?” Morita asked, eyeing the two of them.

He nodded, slinging his arm around her shoulder. “Yeah! We’ve been friends for 7 years now.”

She refrains herself from blurting out a sarcastic remark since she’s in front of her colleagues but God, she’d wish for him to shut up.

“That’s great! Tell us more about it, Kuroo!” Nakano urged, pulling Kuroo off of her shoulder and listened attentively to what he says.

She sighed, sitting down on the empty seat and glance at anywhere but him.

The rest of the celebration goes on till midnight and Nakano decided to call it a night when one of them vomited in their food.

Grabbing the door handle, pushing it open however a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She glanced back, “Can I talk to you for a second? Please.” Kuroo begged.

Shoving her uneasiness away, she replies. “Okay.”

They walk in silence, not knowing how to start the conversation first and occasionally bumping into each other due to close proximity.

She hugs herself and stared at the ground, avoiding Kuroo’s sharp gaze.

“Are you cold?” He asked, sensing her discomfort due to the cold weather.

She shook her head, “No. I’m not.”

He smirked, “You’re such a bad liar, Y/n. Here.” He takes off his work coat and wrapped it around her, immediately warming her up.

“Thanks.” She muttered.

Before the silence could continue, he groaned. “Look, I didn’t offer you a proper explanation as to why I left and I...” He bit his lip, averting his gaze to the lamppost.

Huffing, “I never wanted closure anyways.” She admitted.

He frowns, “But still... I wanted to give you one.” Rolling her eyes, “I don’t want it.”

His head bowed down like a puppy getting upset for not getting a treat. They resumed walking in reticence.

Questions racing through each other’s head, craving for answers but they’re both too cowardly to say what’s on their mind.

The night grew into stillness— it’s unlike of Kuroo to ran out of things to say however that night, all of the words he had wanted to say died down his tongue, leaving him speechless.

»»————-　➴　————-««

A week passed by since their last encounter and Kuroo had somehow managed to get her number through Nakano, who without a doubt, gave it to him with no hesitation.

He was constantly texting her, wanting to reconcile their relationship.

The coat he gave her was still hanging in the closet. At the thought of that, she rolled her eyes and whipped out her phone.

Y/n: Tetsurou, are you free this Friday?

Not even 10 minutes had gone by and the answer came through like lightning.

Tetsurou: Yup, why?

It’s funny, she thinks, that he always tries and keep in touch with her despite knowing what he did before they separated their ways.

She sighed, it’s unbelievable that he doesn’t know what she’s feeling. After all of what happened; how could she ever move on?

»»————-　➴　————-««

At 4:00pm, she stood nearby the playground whereas kids giggled loudly and ran around with their friends.

The sun shining brightly, birds hovering above the ground, flapping their wings as they soar through the sky.

She observed the kids, a wave of nostalgia passes through like a snowstorm, igniting memories of her and Kuroo when they were children.

“Hey.” The man she anticipated arrived as she spun around and took in the sight before her.

“Hi.” She greeted back, clutching the plastic bag that contains Kuroo’s coat inside.

Inhaling, she spoke up. “Here. Your work coat.” She handed out, gesturing him to take it.

A smile creeped on his face as he grabs the bag, muttering a thanks under his breath.

Amber skies mixed with warm greens of spring, flowers blooming proudly despite the chilly breeze.

“So.. what have you been up to?” Does he think I’m here for small talks? She thought to herself bitterly. “Listen.” She said sternly, “I’m not here for small talks nor do I want you to keep texting me. So please, stop bothering me.” He nodded his head shamefully, “Okay.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared at the girl defending the little boy from bullies. “Since there’s nothing left for us to talk about or discuss, I will be leaving now.” As she walks away, a hand grasped on her arm. She turned around and saw Kuroo pleading, desperation evident in his eyes. “Please, just let me talk. I just wanna explain.” Her hands clenched, “I don’t want your explanation!” She snapped, looking at him with irritation as he gazed down bashfully. “Tetsurou... you’re 3 years late. You left me without looking back. You know what I was dealing with at that time and you still.. left me.” She muttered the last part, feeling the tears building up. Shaking her head, “I can never forgive you for what you did. Ever since you met me at Nakano’s celebration dinner, you’ve been constantly texting me as if we’re friends!” “But... we are still friends.. right?” He murmured, watching her closely. Her lips pressed into a thin line, “No. We are not friends. How could you think I’d be your friend after all that you’ve put me through?” He stared at the ground, guilt sprawled all across his face. “I’m sorry.” “I don’t need your apology. Just— don’t bother me anymore, please. I’ve had enough. Just leave me alone.” She yielded, tired of the burden that she’s been carrying. “Okay.” He said. “I won’t bother you anymore. I promise.” Relief seeped into her after hearing those words, definiteness embracing her. Without uttering a goodbye, she walked away from him, finally being able to breathe in the crisp air, all of the weight is no longer heavy on her. She can finally move on from those haunted memories of him. »»————-　➴　————-«« “Y/n! You’re gonna be late!” Kuroo yelled, hurrying her before they miss their bus. She sprints as fast as she can and interlock her fingers around him, stepping inside the vehicle. ~ “Y/n-chan! Are you gonna study that all day without eating?” He asked, concerned laced in his voice. She nods her head tiredly, forcing her eyes to stay awake. He sighed, grabbing her arm. “C’mon. Let’s go rest a bit and eat, okay? Afterwards, I’ll teach you that topic.” She hummed, letting herself be pulled up by him as he drags her to eat. After eating, she fell asleep on his shoulder due to staying up studying all night. He brushes her hair, staring at her fondly, admiration and infatuation glinted in his eyes. “Sleep well, Y/n-chan.” He kisses the top of her head, fluttering his eyes closed. ~ “Congrats on getting into your dream university, Y/n-chan.” Kuroo beamed at her, ruffling her hair. “Don’t you ever forget about me, okay?” ~ She blows her nose into the tissue, throwing it into the trash bin. “Ah... being ill is no fun.” She sniffed, watching the TV. Footsteps echoed on the other side of the room and she hid herself under the blanket, peeking at the mysterious intruder. “Y/n-chan, you should’ve told me if you were sick.” Kuroo eyed her, examining her frail figure. A sigh escaped his lips, “Well, Yaku brought some soup for you and I picked up the meds from the store earlier. Eat these up. Let me take care of you.” They spent the whole day, resting on the couch, watching soap opera whilst Kuroo occasionally helps her get snacks from the kitchen or the store. ~ The tranquility comforts the both of them, arm to arm, avoiding each other’s gaze as butterflies swarm in their stomachs. She bit her lip, pondering about what’s on his mind when he suddenly spoke up. “We can’t be friends anymore... I will always see you as something else.” A startled gasp emitted from her as she gawked at him. “W— what?” Images of them furthering their friendship into something more pace in her head, leaving her eager and wanting to turn it into reality. He gathered every ounce of courage he had and held her gaze. “I’ve known you since... forever. I can’t imagine my life without you.” With shaky hands, she reached out to his touch, caressing his hand. “I feel the same way too.” Hopefulness surged up inside him, intertwining their fingers together. “I’m glad you do.” ~ Kenma recognized those expression of forlorn that etched on her face— eyes gleaming with dejectedness and tiredness. “What did Kuro do?” He blurted, sipping on the iced coffee. Watching intently, he noticed the way she slumped her shoulders and gaze ahead of her daydreams. “He left me.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, his other hand found its way to held her closely. “Well.. that sounds like something Kuro would do.” He rubbed her back, comforting her. “Why?” She asked meekly. Swallowing down the guilt, he explained. “Kuro.. he’s a complex person. Sometimes he does things without a solid reason. Maybe he left because he was getting too constrained in the relationship.” Upon hearing that, she broke down. Kenma hugged her, “It’s not your fault, I assure you. That’s just.. how he is, unfortunately.” »»————-　➴　————-«« Remembering Kenma’s words from the past; she felt as if she could finally let go of him. Seeing how completely different he is compared to when they grew up with each other then stumbling onto him now makes her realize that even after all these years— she still doesn’t know who Kuroo Tetsurou is. The anger dissipated into a limbo, just a mere reminder of what she used to feel when looking at him. Every traces of him melted away, the pain and dissatisfaction latched out of her and now all that’s left is the bitter memory of them together.

#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! fanfiction #kuroo x y/n #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! x y/n #hq kuroo #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo testuro #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! angst #artemisverse minor series

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gingus-doon · 3 years

Note

It's ask time! How about thoughts on the Yabusame siblings? ( by the way, I always love hearing your thoughts on this game! they honestly make my day. <3)

i'll talk about them separately first, then together! so i hope you don't mind if this gets a little long (＾ᴗ＾)

(update after writing this– it got quite long LOL so i'm gonna put it under a read more—)

—

first, alice– i think he's great!! himbo extraordinaire, how could ya not like him :'D i've probably ranted about this before (read: in the tags earlier today lol) but i just love how much of a softie he is. it's especially apparent by how hard he tries to come off as this intimidating lone wolf figure lol. it's funny, because with his muscle and prisoner uniform (as well as actually being a murderer lol) he succeeds on that and comes off as untrustworthy despite being just a softhearted fool 😔 he'll be all like "you fools!!! you can't make allies in a death game!" and all that edgelord junk, insult sara brashly and then feel VERY bad about it as soon as she started fake crying. it's so immediately un-intimidating and i love that lmao. and how COWARDLY he is, despite being a pretty big dude. i think he doesn't perceive himself as intimidating, as some of the moments in his ytts events suggest (i'm specifically referring to when he meets mishima and is like Yikes! and then at the end mishima's like "appearances can really be deceiving huh" and alice is like "?!!??" LIKE SJDHDJ I LOVE THAT DYNAMIC FOR THEM, poor them having that issue 😭😭)

i wouldn't consider him one of my favorites but i appreciate him very much <3

—

okay, now reko– REKO'S CHARACTER FALLS INTO ONE OF MY FAVOURITE TROPES!! angry punk woman is always good（⌒▽⌒）but i also love how caring she is, an even better trope than Chaotic Angery™ is Chaotic Angery with a soft spot!!! it's very good of her and mwah i just love her.

i also think it's interesting that this more caring aspect of herself came out after alice's incarceration and that it seems to have been largely hidden from him throughout their lives?? in the flashbacks when they were kids, she seems fairly nice, but alice describes her as cold when they were adults, and he loves her so much that i trust his opinion. i really wonder what's up with that !! i don't know if i'm forgetting something that implied the cause of this harshness towards him but i'd really like to know ;; (i may be forgetting or misremembering some things, the only part of the game i've played recently is chap 3 and never with reko sjdhd)

—

it's also kinda nice how reko seems to outgrow the conventional morality thing she has going on? because she pushes alice away entirely on the basis of his murder, and that murder was very likely justifiable given that it was of the Bastardest Bastard. perhaps if alice told her the circumstances under which it'd happen, she'd understand, but alice condemned himself as harshly as (if not more than) reko so he wouldn't try to reach out to her when she was already pulling away. regardless though, reko seems to hold the general opinion that you can't just like, kill people, even if they're bad! but then she goes apeshit on rio after he kills alice so i appreciate that lol. though i'm a little upset that there's no epic cg of reko trying to whoop his ass :' we were robbed…..

robbery aside tho, i love reko!! she is one of my favourites and i'm sad that she's logical route bc that probably means she's not going to be part of the good ending (assuming there is one and that it's emotional lol)

ok so now i'm gonna talk about both of them together so this is gonna be sad. IT'S SUCH A TRAGEDY THAT THERE WAS NO OPPORTUNITY FOR THEM TO JUST BE SIBLINGS AND GOOF AROUND?? THAT MAKES ME SO SAD, I WANT THOSE INTERACTIONS THE MOST !! 😭😭 i don't know if we're gonna get them in ytts either since there is still that unresolved tension but i hope we get a taste of it! they're just both so dumb and i wanna see em be happy and just have a good time together 😭 also, reko seemed more like the leader of their duo when they were younger and i think that's a nice dynamic! it sounds endearing. reko seems like the one to say "come on bro!! let's go ___!!!!" and alice seems like he'd just listen to her, and then they'd get up to some shenanigans lol. like i could see reko getting them into a barfight HSHHDJSBSJHD. but i could also see her taking him to an abandoned building and just having a heart to heart after exploring like little kids :'D

oof, and, one of the things that hurt me most in the game was the bongos saga? i genuinely thought getting the bongos was gonna have them make up!! but then after the room of lies thing with reko happened, it dawned upon me that the real reko would not be there to receive them– not just the real reko, but a reko who had gotten a little closer to working out her feelings about alice's murder and was kinder than the one alice recalled. IT FUCKING BROKE MY HEART TO SEE HIM REJECTED LIKE THAT… i was just like "i'm not even an alice stan but i'm abt to cry right now." AND THE SHITTY TIMING OF REKO'S ABDUCTION….!! LIKE GRRR NANKIDAI WHY'D YOU DO THAT 😭😭 IT'S GENIUS BUT I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY !

a lot of my feelings on characters and relationships in this game boil down to "i just want them to be happy!!! let them be happy!!" so the way only one or the other can survive makes me sad ;; though, i am interested in seeing how (and if, maybe) saving alice turns out to be the better choice, since it is the emotional one. it probably has more to do with the dolls' relationship to humans than alice himself but still lol. and they did get at least a little reconciliation in the end, so that's nice and good.

sorry this got so long!! thank u for the ask and for ur kind words anon (＾∇＾)

#your turn to die #reko yabusame #alice yabusame #yttd reko #yttd alice #i hope u weren't looking for anything cool like a theory lol #this is just me rambling abt the yabusames 😌😌#kimi ga shine

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 4 years

Note

hello this isnt abt batfam or batman but i saw your age and was wondering how do i survive till 23? i am 18 now and 5 more years is very hard to survive please help

Interesting question. I turn 24 in ten days, and sometimes even I’m not sure. I guess I’ll talk about how I personally stayed alive this long before I try to give advice.

The very first thing I would say is that I am religious, and that worldview makes a difference. I don’t mean that in a “everything happens for a reason” kind of way, and as a matter of fact, I very much dislike that line of thinking. It does a lot of damage, and I’m aware that it rightly puts a lot of people off from religion in general.

I hold two beliefs that I think are helpful in terms of survival. First, I believe that humans are by nature bad. Counterintuitive in this conversation? Stick with me. Every day, but especially at my lowest moments, I hate the things that I am. In a metaphorical sense, my mind whispers to me that I am selfish, that I am cowardly, that I think bad things and I am capable of worse. I’m hateful, I’m terrifying, and I am absolutely broken. At my core, there is something fundamentally wrong, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix it.

I am disgusting. I’m several thousand evil things in a trench-coat pretending to be anything but myself, and I’m not fooling anyone.

Well, yeah. Yeah, I’m all those things and more: manipulative, lying, self-obsessed, angry, unforgiving, and judgmental. I could, of course, go on.

Here’s the thing-- everybody is. I am no better and no worse than any other person in the universe, and though I am ever abhorrent thing, I am. I have the same dignity, the same worth, and the same life as any human anywhere. The dark things are part and parcel of my humanity, but although I am not good, I do good.

I will never be perfect because that just isn’t possible, but I can be kind. I can be loving, I can be strong, and I can be wise.

Shit, doesn’t that set me free?

There’s a lot more to this conversation, and the rest goes, in brief, like this: at the bottom of the darkness that is every soul, we have one great fear-- if I am truly evil, no one will ever love me. Good news on that front, there is a God who does. If that’s something you want to talk about, hey hit me up. I’ll evangelize on my own time.

Back to it. My second belief is a kind of understanding about the passage of time, and it’s sort of hard to boil down into a few sentences, but I’ll try my best. I believe in a grand struggle between good and evil. I know the beginning of that struggle. I know the end of that struggle: that good will win. I am a part of the middle.

I see my role in the universe as extraordinary small but absolutely necessary. I have a two-fold purpose-- love God, love humans. I interpret both as a call to help others in any way I can, and I think in the way my life has worked out so far, that’s really the most important thing keeping me alive.

I see all of this through the frame of my religion, but I would argue that everything I’ve said so far is applicable outside of that frame, because a lot of folks get to the same place from a fully secular point of view. I cannot be perfect. I should care about and fight for other people. That’s really all we’re working from here.

A few years back, when people asked me this question-- how do you stay alive?-- I used to answer “spite,” and that’s not untrue. I am a very angry person, and the grand majority of that anger is directed at what I perceive as unjust acts. I have a deep-seated hatred of establishments (including the established church), and you’d be shocked at how much of a motivator that can be.

I grew up in an environment that was very intentional in teaching me to identify injustice. Though I have radically departed from many of the teachings of my childhood, the part about fighting for others was something I learned at day one, and that bit has stuck around. For the most part, I grew up in an environment where everyone was on the same page about it.

And theeeeeeen I went to undergrad. Hello, Texas A&M. I hit campus as an 18 year old fully incapacitated by anxiety. I was the kind of person who didn’t-- in fact couldn’t-- speak in front of others. I had always lived my life in a way that minimized myself, because if I never spoke, if I never disagreed, if I never drew attention, I would never make anyone angry. I knew from experience that angry people hurt me, and I was afraid of pain.

Then I experienced the absolute shenaniganry of conservative Texans. The culture shock sent me to space and back, and on the return trip I decided that I couldn’t be quiet anymore.

I learned to speak my freshman year so that I could scream FUCK YOU. It was incredibly painful, and I can’t tell you exactly how I managed it other than I was angry, and I didn’t want to lose.

I fought a similar battle on my homefront against parents that didn’t know how to deal with a daughter that disagreed, or even worse, a daughter that wasn’t okay. I wasn’t a perfect child anymore. I knew I had anxiety, I knew I was depressed, and we all knew who I blamed for that. They hadn’t been the perfect parents they thought they were.

I found myself growing, little by little, into a person that could write and argue and hold her ground. That’s personal growth for sure, but it didn’t necessarily help my mental health. As a matter of fact, my health declined all through undergrad, and in my third and final year, I cracked.

I was desperate. I was isolated. I was flooded by fear and despair, and I was falling apart. I don’t remember huge chunks of undergrad because I was so depressed that the memories didn’t stick, but I do remember my tipping point.

It was something small. The ceiling fan in my bedroom was broken. The lighting chain worked fine, but if anyone pulled the fan chain, the whole thing would stop working. I mixed up which chain was which, pulled the wrong cord, and broke it for the fourth time.

For some reason, that was it. I lay down on my floor and cried for an hour, and while I did, my mind went to, as the kids say, a dark place. Finally, I called my mom and begged for psychiatric medication, something I had always been afraid to ask for. At the time, my parents believed that antidepressants were overprescribed, and they mocked parents that let their children take them.

At around the same time, I was deciding what to do with my life. I was about to graduate, and I had always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Instead, everyone in my life pushed me towards law school. I didn’t know what to do, but I began fantasizing, not about going to law school exactly, but about being the kind of person that could go to law school.

I knew that law school would be entail public speaking and constant conflict and the kind of work that would be hard for a person who sometimes couldn’t leave her bed. I wanted to be someone who could do all of that, but I didn’t believe I was.

Enter Donald Trump. Post-November 2016, I struggled to understand how something like that could happen, and I watched everyone else deal with it too. I began confused, moved to distraught, then returned to what I always am: angry.

January 2017 was the inauguration and shortly afterwards, the “Muslim ban.” I read the news on my bedroom floor, and there was one specific part that stuck out to me. There were pictures of lawyers flooding the airports. There was a court case headed for SCOTUS.

I suddenly realized that one group-- one very select group-- was doing what I was powerless to accomplish. I hated establishments, and there was one group that could challenge and change them. Some people could fight in the way I wanted to, and those people were lawyers.

I have a very distinct memory of looking into the bathroom mirror of my third-year apartment and thinking, “I will be miserable for the rest of my life, no matter what I do or what career I pick. I might as well be a miserable lawyer.”

So I took my antidepressants and I went to law school. I’m not going to rehash everything that happened there in this particular post, because in this topic, I don’t think it matters. The relevant part is that I went, and I had my reason why.

Sure as hell can tell you that law school wasn’t good for my health. The last three years have been, in terms of sheer stress and despair, the worst of my life. I picked up a self-harm habit, endured consistent humiliation, cycled through six different antidepressants, had horrible relationships, and developed a psychotic disorder. Don’t get me wrong, there were good things too. I met people that are important me, and beyond that, I grew.

I know that 18 year old me would be absolutely flabbergasted by the woman I am now, cracks and flaws included. I wouldn’t say I’m healthy or okay, but I am more healthy and more okay. I’m coming out of this mess with the institutional power I wanted, and now I get to decide what to do with it.

I was wrong three years ago when I looked in that bathroom mirror. I know now that I won’t be miserable for the rest of my life. I’m going to be happy someday, and to the parts of me that say otherwise: fuck you. I’ve learned to say it now.

I graduated law school this week, and this month, I’ve felt better than I ever have before. I’m singing again, I dropped two medications, and suddenly, everything is so, so funny. I’ve been laughing so hard my face hurts the day after.

This is a huge turning point in my life, so I’ve been meditating on my past. I’ve come to the conclusion that in most of the ways that matter, I won. My family has been forced to accept what I am. I became the person I wanted to be, even though I thought I wasn’t capable of that.

I know for sure that there will be times in my life where I hit rock bottom again, and that’s not gonna be fun. It’s likely that with my mental health issues, I will always have to work harder than my peers to get the same results. That’s unfair.

I also know that high points exist, and I will have them. I am having them, and I will again.

I guess in recap, I know that I have deep flaws and ugly parts, but I am at peace with that. I know that I must help others, and in pursuit of that goal, I became a person I like more than the girl I used to be.

You have exactly the same potential. I want you to know that whatever you are now, that’s not your forever. Circumstances change, and you will change too. We’re human, you and I, and that’s an exciting thing to be.

Your worth comes from your humanity itself, both evil and good, not the things you do or the fights you win. You never have to compare yourself to others because you are exactly the same as everybody else-- no better, but certainly no worse. You’re a person. That’s enough.

I’m telling you all those things, and as advice, I’ll say this: get angry and fight. Fight for others. You can help them, and you should. Fight for yourself. You are worthy of respect, and everyone else should give it to you. Fight yourself. Any part of you that preaches despair is wrong.

Find the thing that makes you angry and use it. Things are fucked up! There’s a lot to be angry about. I put it this way to my classmates, now my attorney peers: you get one hill to die on. What’s your hill? Go and defend it.

Here’s an interesting thing, anon. Your hill can be yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re right. Five years is a lot, and all the years beyond that are more. Take your antidepressants and go.

#anyway here's a fucking autobiography I guess #let's see what to tag what to tag #religion #christianity #suicide #suicidal thoughts #suicidal ideation #asks #personal i guess #wait I thought of more #self harm #american politics #if the read more on this post doesn't work again I'm rioting #been having that glitch lately

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caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma · 4 years

Text

Map of the Soul, Chapter Four

For the @btswritingcafe‘s Map of the Soul: 7 Workshop

Pairings: OT7 x reader (kinda); Taehyung x reader x Jimin

Series Summary: If you give a piece of yourself to everyone you love, at some point, there will be nothing left for yourself. While feeling lost and alone in your adult life, a strange box falls onto your head in your own closet, and you take an unexpected walk down memory lane wondering where everything went wrong. Was it the romances that fizzled out, the friends & loved ones you left behind, the “what could’ve been” moments, the brush with Fate that never quite connected? Could the strange map you find have the answers you are looking for? Determined to feel complete once again, you embark on a journey to reclaim the missing pieces of your soul.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, A Lot of Smut

Word Count: 7k+

Warnings: cursing & vulgar language, alcohol consumption, sexual innuendos, mentions of previous sexual encounters, bisexual behavior, fingering, oral sex (m/f receiving & giving), spanking, unprotected/protected sex (rules exist for a reason, be safe), daddy kink, a sliver of degradation, orgasm denial, cream pies, anal play/sex, double penetration

Chapter Four: Just Filter Out the Bad, Keep the Good

Oh, Kookie.

You rolled your eyes and giggled at your phone screen as the bartender finally walked over to you.

“Can I get another Jameson and Ginger?” you shouted over the music. “And another Long Island Iced Tea?”

The bartender nodded in acknowledgement and began making your drinks. It was the third time tonight you’d made your way to the bar, but you couldn’t really complain. You were having so much fun, and Taehyung had the crowd half in love with him with his charming stage presence and his smooth honeyed vocal stylings.

“Thank you,” Taehyung crooned over the microphone. “I’m going to take a little break, but I promise, I’ll be back.”

A round of disappointment resounded through the bar, and you rolled your eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. You caught Taehyung’s eye and he motioned that he was going to go to the bathroom. After a quick thumbs-up, you picked up your drinks and made your way back to your booth to wait for him.

Almost twenty minutes passed and the ice in your drink was clinking against the bottom.

Where the hell is he? Men’s bathrooms don’t take THAT long in bars.

Realizing that this modern bar might actually have gender neutral bathrooms, you decided to go off in search of your soulmate. After making your way past the crowded tables, you rounded the corner and saw there were only a few people waiting in line, none of them Taehyung. You waited a few minutes and the line moved, but none of the individuals exiting the single stall bathrooms were him either. Confused, you started walking back toward the bar.

A throaty groan caught your ear as you walked by a darkened hallway. In the dim red light of the Exit sign at the end of the hall, you made out the distinct shape of Taehyung’s shoulders hovering over a smaller individual against the wall. The two were completely unaware of your approach as they were obviously occupied with other things at the moment.

“Seriously, Tae,” you mused. “Ditching me for a pretty face? That’s a real dick move.”

“Look, sweetheart,” a wispy voice exhaled. “I saw him first, so I’m gonna need you to step off, alright?”

That voice…

You inhaled sharply, staggered back a few inches with your eyes wide, and clutched at the non-existent pearls on your neck.

“Jiminie?” you squeaked out.

The two men ceased their makeout session abruptly, and Taehyung stepped aside to reveal plush lips, bright red hair, and big brown eyes blown out in shock.

“Jagiya?”

March 20th, 11:17 pm

“This next song goes out to my gorgeous soulmate,” Taehyung chirped into the microphone. “I’ve loved her since the moment she fell from Heaven and crushed my head on the playground.”

A round of “awwww”s reverberated across the bar, and you rolled your eyes at Taehyung and blew him a kiss. The music started up again and Taehyung went into full Elvis mode.

“Wise men say only fools rush in, But I can't help falling in love with you…”

“Wow,” Jimin groaned sensually. “Does his voice always sound like liquid sex poured over hot coals?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” you quipped. “Taehyung has a very special relationship with the microphone. They’ve been going steady for decades, but he’s always too cowardly to commit.”

“What do you mean, jagi?” Jimin grinned. “Does he not realize how good he is?”

“Oh, he knows,” you corrected him. “He just can’t handle the spotlight very well. In a bar, he’ll get brave, but put him on an actual stage with a real crowd, and he becomes an awkward mess of a man. It’s a mystery.”

“You’re kidding,” Jimin scoffed. “There’s no way that gorgeous hunk of man over there is ever awkward.”

“You’d be surprised,” you chuckled. “I know that man better than he knows himself.”

“I was pretty close to getting to know him myself,” Jimin bragged. “Someone just had to interrupt our steamy little makeout session back there.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Jimin,” you goaded. “Sure, you may have captured his attention, but he’d never really ditch me for another pretty face, including yours.”

“I don’t know, jagiya,” Jimin smirked. “Before you showed up, I already had him asking how far away my place was.”

“That may be so,” you smiled wickedly. “But I guarantee he wouldn’t ditch me. One look and he would be crawling back to me without question.”

You and Jimin stared one another down and your eyes battled it out for dominance. You sighed sweetly and blew a kiss to Taehyung, and he eagerly snatched out of the air and placed it in his lapel pocket. Jimin rolled his eyes at your dual displays of affection and chuckled.

That’s right. No one comes between me and my soulmate.

“So, what brings you back to town, Jiminie?” you giggled, changing the subject. “Let me guess, another frat party?”

“Yes, actually, I’m here for the fraternity’s centennial celebration,” he explained. “We had a whole ceremony and raffle fundraiser last night, and the house party is tonight.”

“I’m surprised you aren’t there now,” you gawked. “The Park Jimin I remember never missed an opportunity for a good frat party.”

Jimin giggled and ran his fingers through his hair, an old habit that always increased his allure. He leaned over and placed his hand on your thigh, provoking a rolling plain of goosebumps across your arms and legs.

“I’m not the same Jimin you remember, jagi,” he murmured while licking his lips. “A lot of things changed since we last saw each other. When was that, by the way?”

A bitter memory triggered in your brain and you gently pushed him away, free from his hypnotic seduction. Confusion traveled across his face and he cocked a questioning look at you, lifting an eyebrow for emphasis.

“It was during grad school,” you reminded him. “The Venetian Masquerade Homecoming party at your frat house?”

Jimin closed his eyes briefly and nodded gravely as the memory hit him as well. There was a tangible shift in his personality, and you knew Jimin was trying to figure out how to proceed. He was an expert at tailoring his personality to fit the situation, but he seemed at a loss when you reminded him of the troubled past. You both sat there in silence, allowing the details to take shape in your mind once again. Taehyung chose that exact moment to intrude upon your conversation.

“Hey,” he shouted. “Who’s up next?”

Jimin glanced over to Taehyung and gave him a tight smile.

“I guess I am,” Jimin offered. “Any requests?”

“Sing me something sweet,” Taehyung pleaded. “I want my heart to burst with emotion.”

Jimin winked at Taehyung and glanced over to see if you’re looking at him. You were not. As Jimin headed over to the booth to choose a song, Taehyung pulled you close and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“What’s going on, ttalgi?” he teased lightly. “I’d know that angsty look of yours anywhere. Are you and Jimin-ssi reliving painful memories from college?”

“Something like that,” you muttered “We didn’t exactly end on good terms the last time.”

“How so?” he recoiled. “Every time you’ve mentioned him in the past, it was always with glowing reviews of his sexual prowess. I’ve never once heard you say one bad thing about him.”

“Tae,” you grimaced. “Have you really never noticed that I stopped talking about Jimin a long time ago? Like almost 6 years now?”

“No,” Taehyung said carefully. “Why? Did he do something to hurt you?”

Taehyung stiffened against you as he shot a glare in Jimin’s direction. You were quick to calm the raging Papa Bear beside you. Taehyung was always quick to defend your honor, but it wasn’t necessary in this case.

“It’s not that simple, babe,” you sighed in defeat, lifting your eyes to stare longingly at Jimin. “We hurt each other...badly.”

“Hello, everyone,” Jimin announced on the microphone. “I’m Jimin, and I’m an asshole. That’s not a lie either. I hurt someone who is very special to me, and I never apologized. Because of that, I lost her and I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back and that sucks. Because I really care about her a lot and I just want us to be friends again because she’s amazing and I miss her. Jagiya, this song is for you.”

A powerful boom pumped through the speakers and Jimin began singing “Before I Cry” by Lady Gaga.

“I can't believe the things you said Right now I wish that you would try Try to stay near me Try to be near me”

“Oh damn, babe,” Taehyung breathed out in a rush. “He broke out A Star is Born? Bold move.”

Your eyes glistened as you concentrated on Jimin’s gaze, which never once wavered from your own. He was singing directly to you, and everyone else in the room just faded away. The delicate lilt of his voice was mesmerizing, and you braced yourself for the chorus, knowing he would be unleashing the full extent of his vocal power on you.

“'Cause I'm gonna cry If you say you don't need me I'm gonna cry if you act like you don't care Promise me, baby, you know I can't fake it Why don't you hold me? Tell me you love me before I cry”

You took note of the gloss covering his eyes after that last big note. He continued to sing, his heart pouring waves of regret and longing over you. His hands reached out for you emphatically as the song progressed and after he hit the last big chorus, he stepped off the stage to sing the last verse. With every step he took, he walked closer and closer to your booth until he was kneeling in front of you and reaching for your hand.

“Have I said what I needed to say? Have you said what you wanted to say? Did you say what you wanted to say? Would you try and stop me before I cry?”

The music stopped and you sucked in a sob before launching yourself into his arms. Jimin stood up and lifted you off the ground in a crushing hug. The room exploded into thunderous applause and they cheered loudly when you pulled back and kissed Jimin on his full lips. He released you and you brushed away the tears trailing down his chubby cheeks. He smiled brightly at you and then remembered he still had the microphone in his hand.

“Oh, thank you,” he laughed in embarrassment. “I guess that worked pretty well, huh? Who’s next?”

Jimin handed off the microphone to the next singer and you pulled him back into the booth with you. Taehyung was leaning on his fists while shooting heart eyes at Jimin who countered with his own half-moon eye smile.

“Jagiya,” Jimin said, turning to face you properly. “I really am sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you.”

“It wasn’t only your fault, Minnie,” you responded sweetly. “I said some pretty fucked up things to you that night also. Can you ever forgive me?”

“So, is anyone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Taehyung interrupted rudely. “All I seem to understand is that you fucked up, you stopped talking, and now you’re making up. Can someone please fill in the blanks?”

You and Jimin giggled at Taehyung’s flabbergasted expression and decided to take pity on him.

“Jimin and I were supposed to go to a masquerade ball together a while back,” you began. “We even got matching costumes.”

“We were never officially a couple, but people just knew we had a special relationship,” Jimin continued. “But it didn’t stop us from playing the field.”

“However,” you cut him off. “That night, we’d agreed to stick together for once. No one else, just us.”

“Oh shit, I see where this is going,” Taehyung squealed. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“Anyway,” you sighed. “We were doing fine until the jello shots started circulating. You know I can’t resist a good jello shot and neither can Jimin.”

Taehyung nodded enthusiastically, and Jimin pulled you closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I caught her making out with some hot cheerleader in the kitchen,” Jimin explained. “So I got mad and pulled her away.”

“In my defense,” you countered. “I had just seen you nibbling on that guy’s ear on the patio.”

“You were the one giving that guy a lap dance on the couch,” Jimin shot back.

“Only because you grabbed that girl’s ass on the way to the bathroom,” you spat.

“Yo,” Taehyung cut in. “I get it. You guys are stupid competitive and extremely jealous. Continue the story.”

You and Jimin both laughed at Taehyung’s outburst.

“We ended up having a full on public shouting match in the front yard of the frat house,” you sighed. “Not gonna lie. It got pretty ugly.”

“People thought we were having an actual breakup,” Jimin scoffed. “After we said some pretty nasty things to each other, I got mad and told her to leave the party.”

“He disappeared into the frat house,” you muttered sadly. “The last thing I saw was him pulling some guy and girl into a back room. He flipped me off before he slammed the door in my face.”

“Nothing happened,” he explained. “I just wanted to piss her off. When I left the room a few minutes later, they told me she’d left in tears. I felt like shit about it, but I was still pissed. I got blackout drunk and woke up under the kitchen table in my underwear.”

“Sounds like a good party,” Taehyung giggled. “So what happened after that?”

“I left back home,” Jimin said. “I didn’t apologize because I thought it was her fault.”

“And I didn’t apologize because I thought it was his fault,” you continued. “We haven’t spoken or seen each since then, at least until tonight. We were so fucking stupid. It’s not like we were dating or anything.”

“Yeah, you two should never date,” Taehyung declared. “Look at how horrible you were to each other. That shit would get toxic real quick.”

You and Jimin looked back at one another and he placed a kiss on your forehead. You both sighed and hugged it out once again.

“You’re probably right, Tae-bear,” you admitted. “It just sucks that we weren’t able to fix things back then. I feel like we lost out on so much.”

“I’m willing to do a hard reset if you are, jagi,” Jimin suggested. “I really have missed you. Want to be friends again? We can just erase everything that was bad and just focus on the good stuff and all the fun times we had.”

You rolled the idea over in your mind and then an idea struck you. You promptly scooted him out of the booth, and with a wide smile spreading across your face, you grabbed onto his hands.

“Let’s do our song,” you cheered. “That way it’s really official!”

“Oh, jagiya,” Jimin pouted. “I’m definitely filing that under bad stuff. Besides, you know I can’t perform without the proper attire. There is only one way you’ll get me to sing that song, and I seriously doubt you have what I need.”

“Oh my gods,” you huffed out in bewilderment. “No fucking way.”

“I’m sorry, jagi” he teased. “You know my rule: no sequins, no song.”

You crawled over the table and grabbed your clutch from next to Taehyung. You reached inside and pulled out the gold sequined bow tie and held it up for Jimin to see. He blanched at the sight and the shock on his face was tangible.

“Where the fuck did you find that thing?” Jimin spat. “I thought I burned that in the bonfire!”

“I have no idea,” you grinned triumphantly. “But you owe me a song now, sir. Let’s go, 가자!”

You pulled the bow tie over Jimin’s head and adjusted it. He grimaced and whined as you pulled him over to the booth to fill out the song request. You both grabbed a microphone and you pushed a very reluctant Jimin onto the stage.

“Hello, everyone,” you greeted sweetly. “I brought this adorable gentleman up here for one more song. Wasn’t he just lovely earlier?”

Everyone applauded and Taehyung stood up to whistle and whoop like a crazed fan. You beamed at Jimin who gave you the fakest petty smile he could muster. You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek and he gritted out a faint, but spiteful “I fucking hate you” under his breath. You winked at him cheekily and poked your tongue out in response.

A series of electronic snare drums snapped and synthesizer beats popped out of the speakers and an exuberant “Yeah” and “Woo” filled the air as Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” kicked off.

You and Jimin switched off every other line like a proper duet, and the crowd was eating it up. You alternated little dance moves around each other with cute poses, and you even pulled his arms around you during the chorus, which of course, everyone sang with you.

When the song was done, you both received a standing ovation from the entire bar, and even the bartender applauded enthusiastically. When you finally made your way back to the booth, a waitress showed up with a round of fruity red shots called Washington Red Apples, courtesy of the elated bartender.

“Well,” you cooed at the grumpy Jimin next to you. “That is definitely the best friendship renewal I’ve ever been a part of. Can you even think of a better way to make up than that?”

“I know a better one,” Taehyung remarked with a smirk.

You and Jimin looked up at each other and then at Taehyung. The devilish look on his face transferred onto Jimin’s and then made its way onto your own. You took the shot glass between your fingers and held it out to propose a toast.

“To renewed friendships,” you grinned. “Among other things.”

You all clinked your glasses and downed your shots. It only took a second after for everyone to take action.

“Tae-bear,” you purred. “Close out our tab. Jimin and I will meet you in the car.”

March 21st, 1:07am

The drive back to your apartment was a blur, a steamy blur full of well placed kisses, hot visuals, and a plethora of wandering hands.

After Taehyung pried you off of Jimin’s lap in the back seat, he handed you the keys and ordered you to drive since you were the only one who knew how to get to your apartment. In the meantime, Jimin was pulled onto Taehyung’s lap in the backseat and you were treated to quite a show in your rear view mirror. The moans and groans emanating from the backseat were causing quite a stir in your panties. In fact, the thin material was noticeably sticking to your dripping folds as you parallel parked the car in front of your apartment building.

“Everyone out,” you barked. “Let’s go!”

The two entwined bodies groaned at your command, and refused to move out of the backseat. Beyond aggravated, you leaned in and grabbed onto both heads of hair and pulled back harshly. Both men whined and moaned lightly, but both also knew better than to pull away from your claws. You knew both of their kinks to the letter, and pain was at the top of the list.

That’s right, boys. I’m in charge here.

“I said,” you growled. “Let’s go.”

They quickly exited the vehicle as soon you released them, and all three of you hastily made your way inside of your apartment, promptly locking the door behind you.

The dogs had been walked and fed before you’d left the apartment, so they briefly greeted you at the door, and then huffed out snorts of derision at your choice of nighttime activities.

Jimin got excited when he saw Oberyn and Yeontan, but you and Tae were quick to pull him back into the fold, promising proper introductions later.

Much later.

After a flurry of clothing and shoes tossed from the front entrance to your bedroom floor, you found yourself completely naked and standing at the edge of your bed wedged between two deliciously sweaty naked men who were pressing open mouth kisses all over your body. You could barely differentiate between Taehyung’s playful nibbles and Jimin’s soft suckling against your skin. In perfect synchronization, Taehyung and Jimin latched on to opposing sides of your neck, drawing an impatient moan from your lips.

That’s definitely gonna leave a mark.

Jimin pulled you back slightly and kneeled between you and Taehyung, gripping his hands onto each of your thighs for balance.

“Allow me,” he hummed. “After all, I am a guest in your home.”

With fluid precision, Jimin grasped a hold of Taehyung’s throbbing cock and began stroking it from tip to hilt while simultaneously pulling your swollen clit between his lips. You and Taehyung let out gasping moans in unison while holding onto each other for support.

“Didn’t I tell you the man had talent, Tae?” you hummed. “Ah, Jimin…”

You couldn’t even start your next sentence because Jimin was slipping his tongue into your folds and lapping up every drop of essence collecting between your thighs. Taehyung gaped at the sight while trying not to blow his load over Jimin’s skillful ministrations.

“Holy fuck, babe,” he groaned. “You totally undersold him. He’s like some kind of wicked little sex fairy.”

Jimin giggled against your slippery folds before placing a fat kiss on top of your clit. He sat back on his heels and pursed his glistening lips at Taehyung.

“Sucking dick doesn’t make me a fairy, Taehyung,” he teased. “But I guarantee it will feel magical when I get that fat cock between my lips.”

Switching it up, Jimin plunged two fingers into your hungry hole while licking a long wet stripe up the front of Taehyung’s girthy length. Your eyes locked onto Jimin’s bouncing red hair as he sucked on Taehyung’s dick like a juicy popsicle. Neither his fingers nor his tongue slowed their actions as Jimin turned both of you into hot moaning messes.

“Jimin...ah...baby,” you whimpered. “We need to get horizontal before I fall. My legs are...ah...about to give out.”

Taehyung slid his hand down your side to steady your waist, but found it difficult to concentrate with Jimin’s never-ending onslaught of pleasure. You could see Taehyung’s eyes rolling back in pleasure each time Jimin lowered his head onto his crotch. The erotic sight only spurred your arousal forward, leaking all over Jimin’s fingers as he artfully fingered you.

“Tae,” you whispered. “I can’t...ah...I can’t hold...ah…”

You couldn’t even form coherent sentences at that point because not only was Jimin curling and dragging his fingers along your G-spot, he was also brushing against your clit with every stroke. It was heavenly, but also sent you tumbling forward into oblivion without anything to hold you up.

Taehyung took mercy on you and grabbed a hold of Jimin’s scarlet locks. After pulling Jimin’s mouth further down his length a few times, he pulled his wicked little sex fairy off his dick and to his feet.

“My soulmate needs a bed,” Taehyung gritted out. “Now.”

“Flattering,” Jimin chirped while licking his lips. “But we’ve only just met, Taehyung. Don’t you think soulmate is a bit much?”

Taehyung seized Jimin’s head and devoured his lips, while still holding you up. After a clash of teeth and tongue, Taehyung pulled Jimin’s bottom lip between his teeth and bit down harshly. Jimin’s aching whimper drew your attention, but you struggled to focus on anything with Jimin’s fingers pumping into you.

“I wasn’t talking about you, Jimin,” Taehyung growled. “I was talking about her.”

Jimin offered Taehyung a mischievous smirk and nodded coyly. He motioned for Taehyung to get behind you as he focused all of his attention and energy on you. They eased you onto the bed keeping you on your knees, and your legs were happy to oblige the shift in balance. Jimin pulled you closer and licked his way into your mouth and you began attacking his lips with your own. He swallowed each whine and moan as his fingers began to pick up speed.

Taehyung took this opportunity to kneel behind you and run his hands over the globes of your ass, relishing the plumpness in the dim lamplight.

“How does your ass always look this perfect, ttalgi?” he mused. “It’s extraordinary, and totally unfair.”

He reared his palm back and brought it down firmly against one cheek and then the other. With each spank, you cried out wantonly, much to the delight of both men.

“She loves it when you spank her,” Jimin chuckled. “This vixen loves pain.”

“I know,” Taehyung shot back after delivering yet another smack to your ass. “She’s my soulmate. It’s my job to know these things.”

“Oh yeah?” Jimin quipped. “You think you know more than I do? I’ve probably made her cum more times than you have.”

“It’s not about quantity, Jiminie,” Taehyung bragged. “It’s about quality.”

Taehyung punctuated his statement with one last slap across your reddening cheek and then leaned against your back. He cupped both of your breasts and began pulling at alternating nipples, loving the throaty moans you emitted with each tug. You started rubbing your ass against his hardened length, and Jimin chased after your creamy center, determined to regain your attention.

“She needs multiple stimuli,” Taehyung explained while leaning forward to pull your earlobe between his teeth. “She’s a dirty girl who wants everyone to touch her, to feel her, to own her, isn’t that right, ttalgi?”

Your moans were reaching a fever pitch, and Taehyung knew what you needed to hear to reach the apex of your climax.

“Come on, baby,” he purred against the shell of your ear. “Be a good girl and let Daddy hear you scream.”

The knot of pleasure in your core tightened sharply and snapped. You cried out as the orgasm quaked across your body in a frenzy, the sensations more pronounced in the areas where you were being touched. Your nipples tingled, your clit pulsed, and your ears were ringing.

You collapsed back against Taehyung’s chest and let out a blissful sigh of satisfaction. You opened your eyes when you heard a wet noise near your face and got an eyeful of Taehyung licking your essence from Jimin’s fingers.

“Mmmm delicious as always, babe,” Taehyung swooned. “You have no idea how good you taste, do you?”

“How good?” you giggled.

“Exquisite,” Jimin hummed after licking the remnants from Taehyung’s lips. “I seriously missed that flavor on my tongue, jagiya. It’s only gotten better with age.”

“Right?” Taehyung expressed with a boxy grin. “I was going to say that too!”

The two of them high-fived and you groaned at their childish behavior.

“If you two assholes are just going to sit there and call me old while high-fiving, I’m so fucking done,” you spat. “I got mine already.”

You tried to move away from them, but they both moved swiftly to pull you back into their arms with a whine.

“Where do you think you’re going, dirty girl?” Taehyung teased while grinding his still hard cock against your ass. “You aren’t done until we say you are.”

“And we are far from done, jagi” Jimin promised. “How about we change things up a bit?”

They laid you back on the mattress and you stretched out your limbs, trying to shake the tension out of your muscles. Taehyung reached into your side table to pull out the box of condoms he knew you had. Jimin pressed his body against yours, trailing his fingertips from your neck down to your hip. You both looked up at Taehyung when he cleared his throat.

“Ok, ttalgi,” he began. “Are we sticking to our usual rules with Jimin here? It’s your call.”

“What are the usual rules?” Jimin asked. “She and I only had two rules: wear a condom and be honest about what we liked or didn’t like.”

“We have something similar, but with variations,” Taehyung explained. “Condoms for any assplay, colors for safewords, consent is always confirmed, aftercare is mandatory, and open, honest communication.”

“Condoms only for assplay?” Jimin gulped. “What about vaginal play?”

“I have my birth control implant,” you told Jimin while pointing out the spot on your arm. “Taehyung and I have always been vigilant about staying clean and we get tested every other month, even when we aren’t sexually active.”

“So, I guess the question we have is,” Taehyung expressed kindly. “What about you, Jimin? What do you want to do?”

Jimin sat up on one elbow and shifted his doe eyes between you and Taehyung. He couldn’t believe what you were offering.

“Jagi,” he breathed out. “We’ve never gone bare...like ever. I’ve never gone bare with anyone actually.”

“I know, Jiminie,” you expressed tenderly. “I’ve only ever trusted Tae-bear with something like that. But I know how careful you are, and I’m sure that hasn’t changed. If you’re comfortable with it, then I’m willing to trust you as well.”

You reached up to cup his cheek and he leaned in and kissed your palm gingerly with his swollen lips. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky exhale.

“Nothing’s changed,” he finally responded. “I’m still careful, I still get tested, and I’m still clean. If you really trust me, then I trust you too.

He pressed a chaste kiss on your lips and sat up to pull Taehyung in for a kiss as well.

“I trust both of you,” Jimin proclaimed. “I know I just met you, Taehyung, but if my jagiya trusts you with something like this, then who am I to argue with her logic?”

Taehyung smiled at Jimin’s words and reached over to stroke your cheek affectionately. You all took a deep breath as the electricity in the air increased exponentially. The soft caresses on skin transformed into overzealous gropes, and the quiet exhales became heated moans and needy whines. You decided to take the lead this time and climbed onto Jimin’s chest, asking for permission to ride his face, to which he quickly consented. As you settled over his ravenous lips, Taehyung instigated a rather noisy blowjob behind you, pulling Jimin’s angry red tip between his lips and slurping at the precum spilling over the edge.

“Fuck,” Jimin gasped out beneath you. “You couldn’t give me a warning, Tae?”

“Do you want me to stop?” Taehyung pouted. “Just say the word, Jiminie.”

“No, please don’t stop,” Jimin begged. “Keep going.”

You looked back over your shoulder and grinned wickedly at Taehyung. The smirk on his handsome face was mesmerizing, and you returned it in kind. You lowered your soaking wet heat to Jimin’s lips once again as Taehyung swirled his tongue around Jimin’s girthy penis.

Jimin inhaled sharply through his nose and moaned out into the flooded depths of your vagina. He dug his nails into your hips and you cried out erotically. For every lick and suck Taehyung unleashed upon him, Jimin paid it forward to your gushing center.

“Jimin,” you moaned. “I’m getting close.”

Taehyung slapped his palm against Jimin’s thigh, causing him to hiss and moan into your drenched thigh.

“What was that for?” Jimin protested.

“Don’t let her cum yet, Jiminie,” Taehyung instructed. “Let’s see how far we can edge her out.”

You whipped your head around to glare at Taehyung’s smug face and scowled deeply at him. He knew you hated edging, but he also knew that you came especially hard when edged. You pouted at him and he cocked an eyebrow at you before pulling off of Jimin’s dick with an audible pop.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, babe,” Taehyung relented. “But I promise it will feel amazing if you let it happen.”

He winked at you playfully and you couldn’t resist the boxy grin he shot your way before diving back onto Jimin’s glistening cock. You watched him dip and twist his mouth up and down Jimin’s stiff shaft, even dragging his tongue below the base and flicking along Jimin’s scrotum. Jimin was quickly unraveling underneath Taehyung’s expert skills, and he suddenly lost his concentration on you when Taehyung started licking lower between his legs.

“Ttalgi, come here, quickly,” Taehyung commanded.

You released your hold on the wall and dismounted Jimin’s face, which was contorting into a mask of pure pleasure thanks to Taehyung. He started stroking Jimin’s shaft in time with his tongue barrage.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jimin moaned out. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do you want to cum inside her, Jiminie?” Taehyung cooed. ��Want this dirty girl to sink down on this hard cock and soak up your hot sticky load?”

Jimin couldn’t verbalize anything, but he nodded desperately and started flailing his arms in search of you. Taehyung positioned you just above Jimin’s dick and held you in place.

“When I say sit, babe,” Taehyung quirked. “Sit down and ride him into his orgasm, ok?”

“I’m ready, Tae-bear,” you agreed wholeheartedly. “Just tell me when.”

After a few more strokes, Jimin’s hands clenched against the sheets and he threw his head back harshly.

“NOW,” Taehyung commanded while lowering you safely onto Jimin’s lap.

As soon as your thighs connected with Jimin’s, he let out a cry of unbridled passion and thrusted up into you like a madman possessed. His eyes were blown wide and he couldn’t stop pulling you onto his dick even as he shot out jets of cum, painting your walls in white. The sexual tempest finally abated and Jimin slumped against the pillows and let out a long audible breath laced with amusement.

“Holy shit,” he exclaimed. “That has to be the most incredible sensation in the world. Jagiya, why have I never plunged into your Cave of Wonders bareback before?”

“Because we were both busy being responsible adults, Aladdin,” you quipped. “Or maybe I should call you Genie since Tae referred to you as a magical sex fairy.”

“He can call me whatever he wants if I’m going to get this kind of treatment,” he giggled. “But, I’m worried about him, jagi. He hasn’t been given proper attention just yet. We should really help him out, don’t you think?”

You chuckled and pulled yourself off of Jimin then propped yourself up on all fours, wiggling your ass slightly to entice Taehyung forward. He shook his head and eased onto the bed behind you. He reached between your legs to see if you needed additional lubrication, but the deluge he slipped into told him you were more than ready.

“Look at this mess you two made,” he commented in astonishment, while licking the combined cum from his fingertips. “Just like a creamsicle on a hot summer day.”

Taehyung slid the blunt head of his stiff cock along the crease of your sopping wet pussy and then slowly pushed his way in. He groaned as each inch disappeared from sight and he gave a small thrust to fit the last few inches snugly inside. You whimpered at the stretch and lifted your head to meet Jimin’s amused stare.

“What a naughty girl we have here, Tae,” Jimin cooed. “All stuffed full of cock and she still looks like she wants more. Should I give you more, jagiya?”

When all you could do was whimper weakly at Jimin’s entreaty, so Taehyung pulled your hair back and thrust forward sharply. Jimin was enthralled by the fucked out look on your face and leaned forward to lick into your open mouth.

“Jiminie asked you a question, ttalgi,” he hissed in your ear. “Don’t disappoint Daddy and ignore our guest. Now, do you want more cock or not?”

“Yes,” you begged desperately against Jimin’s plushy lips. “Want him in my mouth, Daddy. Can I? Please?”

Jimin chuckled at your pleas and leaned over to lure Taehyung into another heated kiss.

“Daddy kink, huh?” Jimin teased as he pulled away. “That’s a new one for me.”

“It only works when I do it,” Taehyung grunted. “You can call me Daddy too, if you like?”

“We’ll see how I feel later,” Jimin smirked. “For now, let’s stuff this naughty little slut full of cock.”

Taehyung picked up the pace as he pistoned his aching dick deep into your womb. Jimin stroked his own cock until he had half an erection and then ran the tip across your lips.

“Open up, jagi,” Jimin crooned sweetly. “I’ve got a treat for you.”

You eagerly opened wide and allowed Jimin to place his hands on your head to hold you in place while he fucked into your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks and slurped him down until he was hard and quivering against your tongue.

“Ah, fuck yes,” Jimin squealed. “Just what I needed. Thanks, jagi.”

Jimin pulled out of your mouth and you whined in protest. He brushed the saliva from your lips and planted a fat kiss on them before disappearing from your sight.

Taehyung took your distraction as an opportunity to pull you up against his chest so he could play with your clit as he fucked up into you. He read your impending orgasms carefully and pulled back each time the crest threatened to break across your threshold. He appeased your adorable tear-streaked face with sweet promises of “the best orgasm of your life.”

“You have to trust me, babe,” Taehyung sneered against your wet cheeks. “You’ll thank me when you fall over that edge, I promise.”

You were about to whine out another protest when Taehyung clenched against you unexpectedly.

“Oh, fuck,” he hissed against your temple. “You wicked little fucker. I should’ve kept an eye on you.”

“Yeah, you should have,” came Jimin’s voice from behind Taehyung. “I’m a sneaky bitch, did I forget to mention that?”

Jimin had sprung a sexy sneak attack with two lubed fingers currently seeking entrance at Taehyung’s back door. Taehyung released you back onto all fours so he could grant Jimin better access to his ass. He slowed his movements just long enough for Jimin to work his dick into Taehyung’s now well lubricated asshole. With all three of you connected, it took a moment or two to find a definitive rhythm together, but once you did, the fluid movements initiated a series of high pitched squeals and moans unlike any you’d heard before. Taehyung felt your walls clamping down into his dick and he gathered up enough focus to make an erotic suggestion.

“Jimin, wait,” he huffed out on a moan. “Let’s change positions. As much as I’m enjoying this, there’s something I want to try now that we have you here.”

Jimin pulled back and waited for Taehyung to continue. With a flick of his wrist, Taehyung reached over and gently pulled the condom off Jimin’s dick and smirked sinfully.

“I’ve never trusted anyone enough to double penetrate her,” Taehyung explained quickly. “Get inside her cunt and let me get a condom on.”

“Oh, shit,” Jimin gasped. “You’re fucking serious, aren’t you?”

“You bet your fine ass, I’m serious,” Taehyung gritted out while rolling on the condom. “This dirty little girl is about to blow and so am I. Daddy owes her the orgasm of a lifetime and he’s going to give it to her.”

You were just catching your breath, and you whimpered at the tightness in your clit.

“Guys, if I don’t cum soon, I’m going to fucking explode,” you growled. “So unless you want me to take care of this by myself, I suggest you get over here and finish the fucking job.”

“Oooh, jagi is feisty when she’s frustrated,” Jimin cackled. “I’ve never edged her, so this should be fun to watch.”

“I’m giving you a front row seat, Jiminie,” Taehyung beamed as he laid down beside you. “Enjoy the show.”

Jimin helped rearrange your body so that you were wedged in between them on the bed. After lifting up one of your thighs, Jimin slipped his bare cock into your swollen cunt, reveling at the raw feeling of your fleshy walls tightening around his dick. You were so wet and slippery that even Taehyung was surprised that he wouldn’t need much lube to get your asshole ready for him.

“I love it when she’s this strung out and horny,” he chuckled. “Makes it so easy for me.”

With a little help from Jimin’s fingers, Taehyung slipped beyond your puckered hole and buried himself into the glorious tightness of your ass. With both of your holes now occupied, you found yourself adrift in a sea of endorphins. The finish line was just beyond your sight and you cried out as you felt both cocks sliding across the thin membrane separating your cunt from your asshole.

“Tae,” you whimpered helplessly. “Jimin...please...I need you.”

“We’re right here, ttalgi,” Taehyung soothed. “Just let go. I’m not going to hold you back anymore. Just let it flow right through you.”

Jimin slipped his fingers down to rub against your clit and the combined sensations hurtled into your brain all at once.

“OH FUCK!” you screamed as you careened over the edge of your climax and tumbled into one spasm and after another, losing track of just how many orgasms Taehyung had stacked up for you throughout the course of the night. When the last one hit, your vision cleared just enough to catch Jimin’s awed facial expression as he watched you come undone. The glazed look in your eyes triggered his own climax and he shot another rope of sweet release deep into your quivering heat.

“Babe,” Taehyung grunted behind you, still pumping away. “I’m really fucking close. Where do you want it?”

You smiled wickedly and pulled Jimin close. He was still reeling from his last orgasm, but he offered you a small smile, wordlessly agreeing to whatever your face was suggesting.

“On our faces,” you moaned. “Cum all over our faces, Tae!”

It only took a few more well timed thrusts before Taehyung was pulling out and stepping over the two of you. He tossed the condom aside and pumped away at his shaft until he unleashed a cascade of semen all over your face and Jimin’s. He groaned wantonly as he watched you and Jimin lap up the streaks of semen from each other’s face.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he conceded while throwing his head back in exhaustion. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m fucking spent.”

His knees buckled onto the mattress and you placed one last kiss on Jimin’s lips before rolling off the bed. You left the two of them gasping for breath on the bed while you retrieved some bottled water from the fridge.

“Oh, you angel,” Jimin preened. “Just what I needed.”

Once you all got back to a normal heart rate, you corralled both Jimin and Taehyung into the shower. You silently thanked your landlord for installing the wide shower stall with a built-in bench seat. The three of you fit comfortably in the shower together with a little room to spare.

After you were all cleaned up and refreshed, the boys changed the sheets and you gathered up extra pillows so you could all cuddle up on the bed. Jimin heartily agreed to the sleepover, and you were all thoroughly exhausted from your early morning romp.

Taehyung tucked both you and Jimin against his chest and sighed out with contentment. After kissing both of you on the forehead, he wished you good night and settled into his pillow. You and Jimin slipped your fingers together and snuggled against Taehyung.

As you faded into unconsciousness, you smiled and exhaled happily.

Damn, Universe. You’re on a roll.

The three of you drifted off to Dreamland as the dogs in the living room looked up with curiosity and growled at the black sparkles that flashed and pulsed from your coffee table and then vanished a moment later.

Author’s Note: (releasing my clenched thighs) Whew, is everyone ok after that chapter? I don’t know about you, but I need a long shower after that. I had so much fun writing this chapter and I made my betas all hot and bothered when they read it, so I assume it’s good. I hope you all enjoyed the Vmin playtime. Only three more chapters to go!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Chapter Three: The Beautiful Music We Used to Make

NEXT CHAPTER

Chapter Five: There’s Still Sunshine When He’s Gone

MAP OF THE SOUL MASTERLIST

@caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma‘s MASTERLIST

#btswritingcafe #map of the soul #vmin #bts smut #vmin smut #V BTS TAEHYUNG #kim taehyung #park jimin #jimin #bts series #bts fic #bts fanfic

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jewish-gay-elves · 4 years

Text

an explosive way to kick off your new career

“tristan was the original potential recruit since he had just been made an enchanter, levins been an enchanter for a bit longer but his plan with jowen still went south fast) drabble starting like in the middle of jowan doing blood magic to escape n shit and like tristan has already agreed to go with the wardens but THEN BIG EXPLOSION” - my notes on this au

Words: 1232, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 3 of the a tale of too many wardens because i want everyone to be happy and heres how

Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: None Characters: Tristan Amell, Male Amell, Duncan (Dragon Age), Irving (Dragon Age), Greagoir (Dragon Age), Jowan, Levin Surana, Male Surana, Lily (Dragon Age) Relationships: None Additional Tags: just how tristan and levin get conscripted, tristan is a good kid, levin wants to raise some hell

“Alright, if that’s settled and you’re going to take one of our most talented young enchanters then I guess-” BOOM!

“What in the world was that?” said Knight Commander Greagoir, his hand reaching for the sword at his side.

“It sounded like it came from the basement below, Greagoir, we must hurry, there’s only one exit they could use,” First Enchanter Irving said, turning to his counterpart. Tristan glanced at the Warden whom he had just been given to practically, and before his new custodian could say anything, Tristan rushed after the First Enchanter and Knight Commander. Without looking behind him, he could hear the Warden rushing to follow.

As they reached the entrance to the basement, Tristan could see three figures crouched by the door. Knight Commander Greagoir drew his sword and began to bellow at them.

“Alright now, get out here before I have to put a Silence on the whole area. You should know that it doesn’t feel pleasant, even if it’s what you deserve for breaking the rules like this,” he shouted to them.

“Please Greagoir, I’m sure that there is an explanation for this grievous breach of trust,” Irving said, trying to reconcile with him. One of the three figures, clearly the shortest one, stood up finally and Tristan recognized him as Levin, one of the other Junior Enchanters, but one who was probably going to be lifted to Senior Enchanter soon. One of the figures behind him tried to grab his arm to pull him back into the shadows but Levin shook him off and stood tall.

“Levin, what are you doing down there, son?” Irving asked, his face contorting into something much sadder.

“Don’t call me son, First Enchanter. We’re leaving, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us,” Levin called out. Beside him, the other two figures finally stood up to show their faces as well. Tristan recognized them both as Jowan, one of the apprentices, and Lily, one of the Chantry sisters who worked in the chapel.

“Lily and I love each other, and we deserve a life together!” Jowan called out defiantly, even though his voice cracked part-way through. Tristan frowned, he had never thought that Lily would go against her vows like that.

“Not gonna happen whelp,” Knight Commander Greagoir growled, before he motioned to the other templars to begin moving closer.

“St-Stay back!” Jowan yelped, trying to keep Lily behind him. Levin reached for Jowan to pull him closer, so that Levin could fight the templars, seeing has he had infinitely more skill than the apprentice. Jowan startled at his touch, and screamed out of fright, drawing a knife out from who knows where.

Tristan could see the Grey Warden next to him begin to move closer, but before anyone could blink, Jowan slashed at his own palm and cast a spell, using the blood spilling from himself. Tristan had never thought that the cowardly apprentice could ever think to resort to blood magic, but Jowan was able to knock out all of the templars that had been inching closer, including Knight Commander Greagoir and First Enchanter Irving. All Tristan could think to do was run to the side of his old mentor who had collapsed on the ground.

“Blood magic?! Jowan! You swore that you would never!” Lily exclaimed, looking sick to her stomach. Jowan tried to reach for her, simpering apologies about how he had to, but Lily just put her hands out to push him away.

“Get out of my sight! The Maker would not forgive such a sin!” she said trying to push him away, Jowan looked like he still wanted to convince her, but Levin grabbed his arm before he could.

“Jowan, this is your chance to get out of here, I suggest you take it before they all wake up. I’ll keep them from following. Now go!” He said, looking Jowan in the eyes, then shoving him away, towards the doors. Jowan just sobbed and turned tail to run. Levin still stood tall, while behind him, Lily finally fell to the floor sobbing at the consequences of her actions. Behind Tristan, the Grey Warden still stood, not moving to go after Jowan, but instead staring at Levin.

“So you’ll let him go?” Levin asked, staring the older man down.

“I am no templar, errant mages are not of any concern. Only the Blight,” Duncan said.

“You already have Amell, why are you still here then?” Levin asked defensively, starting to become visibly uncomfortable under the Warden’s stare.

“Because you want to live, don’t you?” Duncan asked, confusing everyone. Before Levin could ask more, the templars and First Enchanter Irving began to awaken from their stunned state.

“Where’d he go?! Where’d he go?!!” Knight Commander Greagoir began barking as he struggled to stand up in his bulky templar’s armor.

“Clearly he has escaped, Greagoir, we can only send out templars to search for him now. I doubt he could have gotten far, as we all know, Jowan was not really the brains behind this operation.” At Irving’s words, Levin stood taller.

“These two didn’t do any blood magic though!” Greagoir grumbled. “She however, is going straight to Aeonar. And she isn’t in your jurisdiction Irving so there’s nothing you can do about that decision. You two, take her away,” Greagoir commanded to two of his men. Lily’s sobs only grew louder, but she was compliant to go with them. The rest of the templars were still in a tentative circle around Levin, who looked completely lost in thought.

“Levin, I must tell you that I am very disappointed in you,” First Enchanter Irving said, looking to Greagoir, a bit at a loss for a solution.

“This is practically treason! Mutiny! We are well within our rights to make him Tranquil for this, Senior Enchanter candidacy be damned!” Greagoir shouted at Irving. Levin’s gaze then snapped to Duncan’s face, as though he suddenly understood everything.

“I want to live,” he said, seemingly pleading with them.

“You’ll still be alive, idiot, being Tranquil doesn’t-” Greagoir started, only to get cut off by Duncan.

“Actually gentlemen, I am afraid I am going to conscript another of your mages today,” he said, calmly, almost without a care. Tristan was startled by this, looking to Irving who was standing beside him to see that the old man’s eyes were twinkling like they did when someone solved one of their equations correctly.

“What?!” Greagoir shouted, clearly not okay with the idea.

“Well, I guess that takes him out of our hands then, Knight Commander,” Irving said, hiding his grin.

“Wha-?” Greagoir could barely get the word out of his mouth before Duncan began speaking again.

“Now, if there are no further interruptions, I would like to take these two to Ostagar, to fight off the Darkspawn, as you two know well enough,” Duncan said, turning to leave, expecting Tristan and Levin to follow. Knight Commander Greagoir was still sputtering as Tristan shook Irving’s hand and turned to jog and catch up with Levin and Duncan, who had already started to leave.

“Why do I feel like I’ve just jumped from the pot into the fire,” Levin grumbled as they made their way downstairs. Tristan could only shrug his shoulders, still mystified by Duncan’s actions.

“At least the fire doesn’t have Knight Commander Greagoir,” Tristan said following Duncan down the stairs.

#levin surana #tristan amell #tristan #levin #duncan #jowan #lily (dragon age)#first enchanter irving #knight commander greagoir #dragon age #dragon age origins #writing

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50shadesofmittens · 4 years

Text

Oh hey I finally did something Rapunzel.

It’s super fucking tropey and looks like a one-way relationship from the context here but oh well have fun. Thanks to @coaxionunlimited for doing the prompt-swap with me that led to this. I needed to write something TTS that was not-fluff and not-humor (too much 3TtD) and this came out, the emotional climax of a 300-page mega-fic that is not yet written

EDIT: I walk away for literally 20 seconds and get better ideas. So there’s been some minor changes to this. since it’s posting

At the base of the silver Tower, on the back of a rented camel, one lone Custodian disguised as a mutant Tzeentch worshipper (read: wearing a paper-mache mask over his helmet and a T-shirt over his armor that proclaims “I <3 Change”) stands planning the next step of his daring assault.

Then a red lasso grabs him and yanks him up to the highest floor, in through a hole in the liquid-solid walls that closes as soon as the Custodian is deposited on the floors.

“Are you insane? Do you realize what will happen if even a single daemon finds you here? I’ve found you here! Tzeentchhas to know by now, and if you’re still here that means this is all one of his plans. Probably to end with your humiliating death or corruption!”

“Nice to see you too, Magnus.” The Custodian groaned as he got up from the floor. “Was that a hair-lasso you grabbed me with?”

“Shapeshifting is the easiest spell for me to cast if I don’t want to be seen.” Magnus replied, his hair rapidly shortening back to its usual length. “Not that it works completely- there are some forces which can, if they/she/it/whatever the squid is right now choose so, can see everything I see. And since I’m on probation/house arrest, again, I’m being watched fairly closely right now. So if we’re going to get you out of here alive-”

“We’re not.” Magnus startled as the Custodian continued, “We’re staying on this planet, and getting the planet out of the Warp.”

“Have you gone completely mental?” Magnus barked out a laugh. “Wait- don’t tell me, I should’ve known when you thought it was a good idea to come out here, alone, with just yourself and is that a camel?”

“Right behind you.” Sure enough, the camel had followed it’s rider up the tower. This rider gave her many head-pats and good oaty snacks. She liked head-pats.

“The fuck-” Magnus shook his head. “Never mind. The point is, you have to go, before whatever scheme this all is gets too complicated for me to pull you out.”

“And what if sending me away is the scheme? Hm?” The Custodian shrugged. “It’s not like you can prepare for every plan Tz- that one has. Weren’t you the one who decided that it was better to just work with what we had, than to think too hard about how to win?”

“That was a very different scenario. Besides which, I’m not trying to win- I’m just trying to get by. For now,” Magnus added hastily, “once I’m in a better position I can-”

“Stop. Just- before you tell me what your long-term goals, are tell me this: how do you plan to get into this ‘better position’ in the first place?”

“I’ll work with what I have, just like you said!”

“So, what, Tzeentch mentions he wants this subsector conquered, you work on it, get further into his good graces, and just keep going until he’ll let you be free?” The Custodian shook his head. “We both know it’s not going to work like that.”

“I don’t expect it to go that far. I just need enough to make things… better.”

“You’re mixing your goals up. You’re planning too far ahead where you should be thinking about the now, and you make your immediate plans where you should be thinking about the long-term.”

“At least I’m doing something.” Magnus snapped. “Isn’t that enough? I used to just wait, wait, wait, planning every step and making every choice based on a thousand pre-existing factors, until I got too lost in my own head. You helped me break out of that- and I’m grateful, really, I am. I’m so, so glad I met you.

“But please,” and Magnus took the Custodian’s gauntlets into his own hands, “don’t destroy yourself trying to save me. You already have- in more ways than you’ll ever know. If I’m to live with the memories of you as my guide, don’t make one of those memories be your death. That’s not how I want to repay you.

“Go home, [R E D A C T E D]. The other Custodes need their Captain General, and the Imperium needs its leader. Don’t throw all that you’ve accomplished away. I’m not worth it.”

“I’d debate you on several of those points,” the Captain General said, “but for now, I’ll settle on a question: are your sons worth it? Are your people?”

“Don’t.” Magnus pulled away, and he turned away. “Don’t ask that.”

“Magnus.”

“Don’t tell me to choose- between the one thing that’s made me happy and the duty that I’ve only just really started to love again- you know, ever since I got back, I keep seeing all the amazing things I knew before but kept missing or mistaking for something worse. ‘We humans have a peculiar ability to turn the worst, stupidest dystopian situation into stuff we can laugh grimly at, I appreciate that.’”

“the-nothing-maker, early second millennium assorted internet. Volume, Tumblr.” The Captain General said, “I read you that one.”

“You use my words against me, I use your quotes against you.” Magnus said, though there was no bite in his words. “You know, in the few times I haven’t been alone here, everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy. That you were tricking me into neglecting my kingdom so it’d fall into disarray, or were going to tell me to burn it all down so we could start over later.” Magnus sniffed. “It’s all rubbish. There might’ve been some downturns, but the working infrastructure hasn’t exactly collapsed without me- which is more than most daemon planets could say. Besides which, it’s not like I’ve been doing much governing since then.

“And the first offer you make is to save the planet- though if you were a daemon or another Tz-“ The Captain General made a loud noise of protest to keep Magnus from saying the whole name, “-follower, I could buy that it’s some plan to destroy the planet, but… that’s not you. That’s the farthest thing from you. That’s why I- I can’t sit by while you’re destroyed.”

“Magnus.”

“No just-” Magnus swallowed hard and looked the Captain General in the eye. “Just listen to me. It- it’s crazy but… if I died there would be another war, big fucking whoop it must be Tuesday, but… if you died, I think the galaxy would become a little colder. Because every time I look at you and try to decipher what sort of man you are, I find something wonderful there. Every time. And you can be petty, hypocritical, and cowardly, but even when you are those things that… kindness, that spark that makes you shine is still there. It doesn’t shine consistently, but it never vanishes completely. And… there’s nothing else I’ve seen or heard of in this galaxy that can match that. Not the Gods, not my Father, and certainly not me.”

“Magnus…”

“I know you still think, somewhere deep down, that you’re not worth it, or that you could be replaced. But I’m telling you, you can’t.”

“Magnus.” The Captain General said, louder now, but something scratchy in his voice as though he was pushing back tears underneath the helmet. “I didn’t come here to die. I know you think- that the place you’re in and the person you are makes it impossible to get out but- you keep forgetting one key thing, in the way it most counts. Who you are.

“You’re the person who saved hundreds of thousands of entire civilizations worth of culture and history- through negotiation and diplomacy, and just giving them respect. If it wasn’t you, someone else would’ve done it, and they wouldn’t have been anywhere near as kind. We both know by now that the kindest thing would’ve been to have left the galaxy alone, but that wasn’t gonna happen, so you made it happen your way. No matter what anyone else said, or did, or how they mocked you for it- you did what you thought was right. Just like in the Heresy, your sons were kept from the war because you fought back against the poison in your soul, and kept them as far from the madness as you could.

“You’ve done a lot of evil, I’m never going to argue on that, but you’ve got a lot of drive to do good- and you’ve done a lot of good, over and over, from the moment you got the chance. What you did for me, during [REDACTED]

“[REDACTED]”

“[REDAC-] But you showed me that you want to go farther- and you are going farther, from the twisted paths that came before. You managed to hold out longer than any of your brothers (exceptmaybeMortarionI’mnotclearonthetimeline) when it came to corruption.”

“You...” Magnus said, “are the only person in the galaxy who truly believes that intentions have any value.”

“Maybe that’s because the galaxy doesn’t value people’s hearts enough. That life is so disposable nobody bothers trying to help the hurting. I think that’s bullshit. And Magnus, you stood up with me against the indecisive squid once before, and with your help I won. Now, I’m asking you to stand with me once again.

“Please, Magnus.” The Captain General held out his hand, “trust me?”

And Magnus closed his eye, sighed deeply, shook his head, opened his eye, then reached out and took his hand. “Okay.” He said, voice breaking, “What must I do?”

#WIP #tts #federation future au

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crunchybones-mcspine · 4 years

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OKAY BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS BABEYY

I really enjoyed it. They had some fun themes, interesting ideas, and the lighting was so much fun to look at.

The set was really cool. Nothing super ostentatious or overly extravagant. But exactly what was needed, simple and effective while still being sweet to look at. In classic starkid way. I LOVE the use of spotlights and the tinsel. That was really damn cool and i wished they had used it more. Though i understand why they didnt.

Kim has the voice of an angel my god. The banana child has an incredible voice that really worked with the finale song.

I love that corey finally got his solo. I lovw that it was a weird frank n furter meets capitalism vibe. Joey stole the stage whenever he was in a speaking role. Incredible perfirmance on his part that guy felt gooey and greasy in all the worst ways. I would loved to have him more explicitly referenced as Wilbur, because unless i managed to miss it its only heavily implied?

The wiggly jingle is great. The void wiggly song is awesome and once again KIM. But a fair few of the other songs seemed a little plonked in? Or very samey? (Might just me my terrible hearing not able to pick up on the song shift though that could be on me) As much as i adore Dylans voice he was near exclusively ballads and softer songs, and without his son on stage with him or seeing more of that relationship full stop they felt a little hollow.

However his duet with Kim when theyre in the playground with Hannah was incredible. I personally just would have liked a few more intense songs with a bit more oomph to them. But thats an opinion based on preference not a fault with the show itself.

I loved Gary Goldstein. Loved him. I dont know why but i do.

Macnamara has mad gay vibes and also seemed the most rounded as a character??? Maybe thats because weve seen him before but he had the most fleshed out feel. The other people with that feel were the president and maybe lex? But the rest felt a little 2d, however i am super excited to see where theyre gonna go with them and how theyll grow if we see them again.

I did feel as a whole the story was a little stretched out. There were lots of things going on in different places all at once and it was hard to properly attatch to their stories. But again thats just me. Im genuinely excited for starlid to get more ambitious in their projects and this is a good start even if i myself am a bit slow to follow.

Like i said earlier paul matthews autistic icon.

Curt was wonderful as the president. I really loved the cowardly wimp only president because he thought it was a cushy job in power but when called to step up he wilts. I really liked that and the jabs at polititians at the top that takes.

There were a few GREAT one liners.

The first death i feel could have been pushed back a little. For maximum hurt. Again there wasnt much time to really really appreciate the character. And feel that ACHE.

Becky Barnes good for her! On both counts.

But that said her relationship with tom felt? Meh? I didnt really care too much it was a bit bland and kind of sudden? Idk im not to interested in romance plots anyway so might just be me.

One the subject tho lex and ethan parenting the banana child was hilarious and wonderful that was amazing.

Overall, not my faviurite starkid show but i did love it and really look forward to seeing where theyre taking everything. Seeing more hatchetfeild is awesome. I nearly cried at the sight of paul and emma which is very lame on my part, and it was really nice to see sections expand. I feel if theyre really gonna pull this multiverse dealio off they might have to step away feom referencing their own universe too heavily though? The firearm authorisation line worked wonderfully and was a funny nod, but the hidgens reference (as much as it pains me to say given how much i adore him) was a wee bit on the nose. Fun nod though.

Im really looking forward to seeing where theyre going!!!! Bring on more hatchetfeild!!!!

#long post #shut up ezra

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marvelandimagine · 5 years

Text

Framework (Part Two)

Summary: Request - Bucky x reader songfic where he pushes her away and they break up but he’s miserable without her and it all ends in fluff and apologies

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word Count: 2,200

Author’s Note: This was literally the hardest chapter I’ve ever written idk why but I should probably start outlining instead of winging it 25/7 lol anywho sorry this took forever and hopefully p3 will come to my brain faster! / based on Framework by The Story So Far

Taglist: @firefly-in-darkness @emptynote @buckysgoddess

How’d this happen?

Found your way in

So distracting

Splitting me in half again

Can’t ever sever the ties I made

The knots are strong

The framework’s laid

No matter how many things I say

The tangible will always be what I crave

Six agonizing days pass, with Bucky coming to the conclusion that he actually can’t live with his decision. He feels like he’s drowning in regret, his anxiety is off the charts, and, plainly, he’s just fucking miserable.

Despite everything he said to you, to himself, to Sam, it’s become crystal clear that not having you in his life is hurting him way more than confronting his trust issues and fear of impermanence.

He misses you like hell. The scent of your clothes, the way you laugh, the warmth in your eyes and on your fingertips. How perfectly your bodies fit together, the way you gasp and growl his name. How you would hold him to your chest, tracing soothing patterns across his skin when he couldn’t stop shaking from the nightmares and the flashbacks. How funny and beautiful and kind you are. Even things that had irritated him, your reiterated suggestions of different therapies and mindfulness techniques (some that had helped you personally), how you never tried to hide rolling your eyes, you constantly misplacing your keys/phone/wallet and him finding it within seconds -- he missed it all. All of you, the good and bad, had somehow become woven into his being. He could sooner get rid of how he felt about you than get rid of himself.

He told himself he wouldn’t do it, but he’s been repeatedly checking your Instagram page, heart thudding each time as he anticipates seeing the pictures of the two of you together deleted -- or worse, seeing you with another guy’s arm wrapped around you. So far, though, there’s been nothing except a video post of your dog, Balto, howling and grinning at your TV screen when Ghost appears on the latest Game of Thrones. It just makes his heart ache more, that he chose to remove himself from these small, wonderful little moments in your life, and for what?

He keeps staring at your number, his thumb hovering above the screen before he chucks the phone to the side, rubbing his eyes as he once again chickens out of contacting you.

He reaches the breaking point when he starts reading back through old texts from around the time when you two first started dating.

“I know we just said bye five minutes ago but I just wanted to say how happy I am that I met you. And you are definitely cuter than I am. That is all! Night, Buck.” And now the same blushing smile emoji that had him grinning from ear to ear makes his heart twinge.

“What the fuck did you do, Barnes?” he asks himself, letting the phone drop to his forehead with a dull thunk.

He knows he wants—needs—you back, but he doesn’t know where to even begin.

He sighs, grimacing as he rolls himself out of bed and trudges out toward the living room. There’s only one thing to do.

Bucky can already hear Sam’s voice emanating down the hall as he approaches:

“You call THAT avant garde?! That silhouette is as bland as toast. TOAST, Nina!”

Bucky sits himself down in the ottoman in the corner, careful not to walk in front of Sam — he thought he’d never hear the end of it when he accidentally blocked the screen during the last Grey’s Anatomy season finale.

“Project Runway again?” he asks, shaking his head.

“Hey, don’t you be getting all judgey now.” Sam smirks at Bucky, taking in his disheveled state. “You need to be jotting down notes, Kurt Cobain, wearing the same grungey-ass flannel three days in a row.”

Bucky shrugs.

“Not like I have anyone to impress.”

“You had someone to impress, but remember, you broke up with her, you cowardly fucking jackass.”

Bucky clenches his teeth as his scathing tone rattles in his head. He tries his best to ignore it and sound nonchalant as he swallows his pride to do something that normally sets his skin on edge: reach out to another person.

“Anyways, you busy?”

“Nah, I’ve had enough disappointment for today.” Sam grabs the remote, shutting off the screen and shifting to look at Bucky. “What’s up?”

Bucky exhales deeply, and he can practically feel the apprehension settling on his face, his habitual reluctance to open up kicking in.

“Um …”

He bites the corner of his lip, trying to think over his words when his gut just wants him to yell, “I FUCKED UP please tell me how to get Y/N back.”

He’s spared having to, though, as Sam cuts through the silence:

“You want to get back together with Y/N, don’t you?”

Bucky stares at him.

“Is my misery that obvious?”

“Painfully.”

Despite his deadpan tone, the corner of Sam’s mouth twitches, and the two find themselves chuckling together. While he’ll never admit it to him, this is why Bucky views him as his best friend, why he trusts him -- he always knows how to make him laugh when he needs it. He knows Sam has his back.

Bucky shakes his head, running a hand through his hair.

“So, what do I do?”

“Before I can try to answer that, you need to tell me why you broke up with her in the first place.”

Thought I’d burn the seams if they frayed

Thought I’d prove the point that I made

“I thought if I ended things, I’d be able to stop caring and feeling so vulnerable, I guess. That it’d be better for her, because she deserved better anyways, and maybe it’d be better for me … I don’t think I really believed that, deep down, but … I was scared. Scared of getting hurt, not being enough.”

Bucky pauses and sighs, staring at the ground as he wrings his hands, running his flesh thumb back and forth over the smooth metal.

His voice is quiet, apprehensive.

“I was scared of how I felt about her.”

Bucky glances up after a few moments of silence and is met with Sam looking at him more seriously than he can ever remember.

“Do you love her?”

Normally Bucky would flinch at such a direct question, but now, finally facing the consequences of keeping himself so guarded, he hesitates only for a fraction of a second before he nods, and it feels like a weight has left his chest in acknowledging how he feels.

He loves you. And he doesn’t have to run from that.

Sam nods back in response, running his hand along the dark stubble on his face as he begins in earnest.

“Look … you have a lot of regret in your life, right? I know it’s over things you didn’t choose, but now, you can choose. So what’s your choice gonna be? The way I see it, A) You can keep doing what you’re doing and let fear run you into the ground, or, B) you can tell that fear to go to hell, reach out to Y/N, buy her the nicest apology flowers you can, and tell her everything you just told me.”

“And if she tells me to go to hell?”

Sam sighs.

“I mean, she’s probably going to be pretty pissed at you —and rightfully so— but,” he pauses, his tone lightening, “God knows why, she seemed to really be into you. And nobody gets over a breakup that fast unless the relationship was already dead for awhile. You guys looked like you were solid until -”

“I blew everything to pieces, yeah.”

Bucky sits quietly for a few seconds, pausing to sit and feel the knowing. The alignment in both his heart and mind, what he wants moving forward.

“I think choice B is the clear winner, here.”

Sam waves his fist back and forth.

“Ding ding ding!”

Bucky nods.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, his voice earnest as his eyes lock on Sam’s.

Sam’s returning smile is full of encouragement.

“Hey man, I got you. And I know this ain’t easy for you, opening up about stuff. Just know there’s always a seat at the VA group just waiting for your supersoldier ass to sit down, if you ever want to talk more.”

“Nah I’m-” Bucky physically stops himself from finishing his default “nah, I’m good for now, but thanks” response, because if he’s realized anything throughout this entire ordeal, it’s that he is most definitely not “good,” or at least not doing as good as he’d like to be.

“Yeah, ok, I’ll do it.”

“For real?”

Bucky exhales deeply, his sadness hanging on every syllable.

“With all this … I don’t know, maybe I wouldn’t have acted the way I did with Y/N if I had started dealing with this sooner, getting more okay with talking and being honest with people,” he muses. “Like you said, if I really do want a normal life, I kinda need to find a better way to handle what’s going on in here,” he taps his temple and then his chest, “than just shutting people out.”

Incredulity is all over Sam’s face, coupled that something Bucky could swear looks like a glimmer of pride.

“Wow, yeah, that’s great, that’s the kind of perspective that’ll help you move forward.” He grins. “You sure you’re feeling ok? This isn’t some fever-induced thing, right?”

Bucky flips him off while Sam chuckles.

“Hilarious.”

“You know I’m playin.’” Sam nods vigorously. “Seriously, it’ll be good for you. Anyways, though, back to choice B.”

Bucky feels the rise and fall of his chest pick up in nervous anticipation, but he slides the phone out from the pocket of his jeans anyways, thumbs tapping away on its surface.

“Hey. Can we meet up?”

Before he can second guess himself, he hits send, promptly hurling the phone onto the opposite corner of the couch where Sam is perched.

“Watch it!”

“You tell me what she says back. I don’t wanna see it first.”

However long you’re gone, I will wait, I will wait.

And then an agonizing, crawling two hours pass, with Bucky finding himself unable to focus on the National Geographic moon landing documentary that would normally absorb him entirely, his eyes constantly straying from the screen to the phone sitting silently in the corner. You never took this long to answer a text when you were dating, so he knows you’re ignoring him.

“Maybe she blocked you and didn’t even see it.”

He’s just about to ask Sam for the phone back to message you on Instagram, past the point of caring how desperate he looks because it’s the truth, when it pings.

Sam snaps out from his half-napping state at the sound, stretching across the couch and grabbing the phone. He pulls a face and Bucky’s heart sinks -- Sam might as well have said “yikes” out loud.

“What’d she say?”

Sam looks at him with the tiniest bit of pity, tossing the phone back.

“Why.”

“Why? That’s it?” Bucky looks down at the screen in disbelief, and there it is, the one-word response.

“Yup.”

Bucky buries his head in the throw pillow closest to him, muffling his yell.

“What do I even say to that?! She’s pissed off, and I don’t wanna do this over text.”

“You don’t have to do it all over text, but you gotta give her something. The last thing you said to her was that you wanted to break up, and now you want to see her. I’m guessing she doesn’t want to assume you want to get back together, but if you do, she wants you to know she’s still upset.” Sam shrugs. “You messed up, now you gotta work for it.”

Bucky takes the pillow off his face, grimacing.

“Goddammit.”

He takes a minute to craft his reply, staring down at the screen.

“Because you were right about everything. I never should have ended us, I’m an idiot and miss you like hell. I just want to talk.” He hits send and turns the phone over, heart thumping inside his chest.

Ten minutes pass before you answer:

“I’ll be home until 7, I have plans after.”

Bucky’s stomach drops as his brain conjures images of you dressed up but not for him, for some other guy, his metal hand clenching involuntarily.

“You don’t know that you don’t know that, c’mon. It’s only been six days.”

He replies immediately:

“Can I come see you at 5?”

“Ok.”

Even with the realization that it’s already 4:10 and he’s gonna have to haul ass to Adams Morgan while still finding the time to get you the nicest flowers he can, Bucky already feels lighter with hope. You agreed to see him. You’re giving him at least a fraction of a chance to put things back together.

He flies up off the couch and takes off down the hall.

“I’m meeting her at her place at 5!”

Sam calls out to his retreating back, and Bucky allows himself a small smile.

“Hey, go get her. But you go shower first!”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes #bucky barnes and sam wilson #james bucky barnes #james barnes x reader #james barnes #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky angst #bucky and sam #avengers fic #avengers imagine #the story so far #bucky barnes songfic #Sebastian Stan

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k-renne · 5 years

Text

Today I was thinking about some Clyde angst in class

When Clyde goes off to prison things don’t end well for the two of you, but he isn’t willing to pull you into this heist in any way and he just knows you’d somehow get involved if he was with you. And he’s embarrassed to even think of the fact that you’d have to say your boyfriend was in jail, you just deserved better than that.

He already starts distancing himself leading up to it all and it’s one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, but he has to do it. Being with you was too good to be true anyways, he should just let you go while things were still good.

“Clyde I just don’t understand, why aren’t you communicating with me what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry sweetheart, this just isn’t workin’ out,” Clyde shakes his head, he can’t even look at you.

“But Clyde I-I love you, please isn’t there anything we can work on? If I did something wrong or hurt you in anyways I need to know,” Your voice breaks, emotions high.

Clyde looks up at you, so briefly, but it’s enough to break his heart. He almost gave into your sweet eyes, but then it would all be for what? He’d have to explain this mess of a heist to you and what if you blamed Jimmy, or worse got involved, he couldn’t have any of that.

It was his most cowardly moment, and he walked away. That same afternoon Clyde crashed his car into the gas station.

You didn’t know about any of this, but all of the sudden the love of your life had just disappeared after leaving you. It was worrisome, and you tried to ask Mellie what was going on but Clyde of course made her promise not to tell you even if she disagreed. You missed him so much, and you kept questioning just what could’ve gone wrong during what you thought was the peak of your relationship.

That man used to tell you “I love you” every night, sometimes call you on the phone just to say it, or pick you up after work to tell you in person and give you a kiss. He meant it every time and he still loved you.

Thoughts of you were what got Clyde through prison, thinking about your warm body pressed against him as he drifted off to sleep, a better life where he’d wake up to you next morning. His heart went places that it hurt to think about, dreaming up a happy little married life with you, maybe getting a house with some of the heist money, a proper big bed for the two of you. He’d get to kiss you every morning, every night, hug you close when he got home from the bar, and see your sweet smile.

But he didn’t have any right to have any of those dreams, not when he broke your heart. Besides he bet you realized you could do better than him, even when Jimmy always was trying to tell him something about you that he always hung up on. He couldn’t bare to hear it.

It all went south the day of the heist, he knew he was in trouble when he saw you at the speedway right before the race, legs and thighs on display, it was just shorts and a t-shirt but his mouth was watering. Of course Joe Bang has to notice that he was looking at you, “Oh Clyde that’s a pretty one, gets hard being locked up doesn’t it?” He joked.

And then you looked back at him, locked in his honey brown eyes. Clyde took off his hat, almost a gesture of apology to you, and quickly put it back on before he dragged Joe Bang away.

It renewed something in him, he realized he needed to apologize to you properly, maybe try and make it up to you. If he could just pull this off, he could figure something out. But then his arm got sucked off and he ran into that British asshole, it was like the curse just standing right in the way of him getting back to you.

“Clyde, are you sure you don’t want to talk to her? She’s worried about you and she still cares,” Mellie pulls him aside at one point.

“I can’t Mellie, what would she think hearin’ of me in jail? It doesn’t matter anyways, it’s over.” He said defeatedly.

Mellie of course wasn’t gonna let her brother continue his foolishness, and now that the heist was starting to calm down she decided to help you out. “If you want to talk to him, this is where he is. I have to warn you he’s gonna he surprised, maybe not all too happy. He’s afraid of you seeing him there. But if I know Clyde I know he still needs you.”

“Monroe County prison...Mellie when did this happen! Oh my god I have to see him,” you have so many questions and your heart aches thinking of sweet Clyde in prison.

“Now that I leave up to my brother.”

Pulling up to the prison you were a ball of nerves, you weren’t sure how he’d react to seeing you, if he’d even let you visit. You weren’t really over him either, and you really felt like there was more of a conversation that you needed to have with him, at least for closure if anything.

Clyde was not expecting a visitor, it made him think something had gone wrong with the plan. He was nervous and confused, but nothing could’ve prepared him for seeing you sitting across the table. He was in such shock he was speechless, his cheeks starting to heat up in shame.

“Clyde, how are you doing? Are you alright?” It was the first thing you asked him, you had been worried after all.

Clyde sputtered, his eyes widening, “Am I alright?” He repeated your question and swallowed thickly. “Darlin’ I don’t think I deserve that question.”

“Don’t say that Clyde, I was so worried about you! Gosh how long have you even been here? What happened!” You demanded answers.

Clyde’s gaze softened at your concern, putting his hand on the table as close as he could to yours. “First things first don’t you worry about me, I’m just fine-“

“-But!”

“I am fine sweetheart, alright?” You sighed at him. “I’ve been here for about three months, got one more to go, and it’s nothing major just a lil car accident, no one got hurt,” He explains calmly. Clyde didn’t want you to worry for him. Still didn’t stop his questions for you, “What about you? Ya holdin’ up alright?” He looked at you with eyes full of concern.

“Clyde! That’s right around when we broke up, I feel like there’s something you aren’t telling me.”

Clyde sighs, “Trust me darlin’ ya don’t wanna know, I can’t tell ya.”

That only made you more worried, but with the way Clyde was looking at the guards and your limited time with him, you decided not to push it. “I’m okay, but I’ve missed you,” You answered his question.

Clyde shook his head, unable to fight his smile. “I missed ya too sweetheart, so much. S’real nice just to hear your voice and see that pretty face of yours.”

“Clyde...”

“I really screwed up with you didn’t I? We had something good and I went and ruined it,” Clyde anguished.

“Ma’am your visitin’ time is up,” the guard started to pull Clyde away from you back to his cell. Making you shout your reply to him.

“I still love you Clyde Logan! Don’t you dare talk like that,” You scolded him.

As Clyde went back to the cell block he was getting teary eyed as he looked back at you, fuck he didn’t care if he made a fool of himself this time. “I love you too sweetheart!” He shouted back at you, lifting a huge weight off his chest.

He still loved you, and you loved him even when he was in prison. He wouldn’t let the curse have this one

#clyde logan #clyde logan x reader

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flirting-with-psychology · 4 years

Text

2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/2019 New Years Survey

1: What did you do in 2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/2019 that you’d never done before?

2014: Had sex

2015: Got further in my love life

2016: Went to the PAC 12 Championship, and about to go to a bowl game

2017: Graduated and moved in with friends

2018: Had a real film client

2019: Got a boyfriend

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 2014: I don’t think I actually made any. I might try to this year

2015: I kept a lot of them, and I will probably make new ones

2016: I can’t remember what they were. I might make new ones

2017: I can’t remember what they were. I am making new ones

2018: I can’t remember what they are, and I might make a couple new ones

2019: I kept some, and yes

3: Did anyone close to you give birth? 2014: No

2015: No

2016: My mom’s ex-boyfriend’s daughter

2017: No

2018: No

2019: No

4: Did anyone close to you die? 2014: No

2015: No

2016: My friend Zach, although we hadn’t really talked much for a couple of years so we weren’t close anymore

2017: No

2018: My cat and my great aunt

2019: Not really

5: What countries did you visit? 2014: I stayed in my home country this year, but hopefully I will travel more in 2015 or 2016, I am planning to study abroad

2015: I stayed in my home country but I am planning to study abroad in 2016

2016: I studied abroad in Italy :)

2017: I went to London with my mom

2018: I stayed at home

2019: I went to Israel on Birthright

6: What would you like to have in 2015/2016/2017/2018/2019/2020 that you lacked in 2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/2019? 2014: A boyfriend, more confidence, and a more interesting personality

2015: A boyfriend and more confidence

2016: A boyfriend already goddamnit it’s time

2017: An official boyfriend and a film job

2018: A boyfriend, a film job, and probably a car

2019: An interesting job (finally got the boyfriend!)

7: What dates from 2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/19 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 2014: 12/13/14, the day I had sex, and it was interesting because I had my first kiss on 11/12/13

2015: 9/3/15 was the day of the Old Chicago watch party where Hawaii flirted me.

2016: 6/8/16 the day I found out Zach had died

2017: 8/21/17, the solar eclipse

2018: 8/7/18 moving into the B Flat

2019: 3/3/19 My anniversary with my boyfriend

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year? 2014: I think my Blank Space video was cool. Also I got a job

2015: Maybe finally starting to go to the gym and get confidence

2016: My short film Pancakes, which had a full film crew

2017: Graduated college

2018: Did some film work for Sonic Octane

2019: Got a boyfriend lol

9: What was your biggest failure? 2014: Letting myself remain unhappy instead of figuring out how to change it

2015: Losing some of the confidence I gained in the fall

2016: Kinda giving up on trying, in various ways

2017: Did not get back into working out

2018: Not letting myself try things and fail

2019: Let another year go by without getting anywhere in my career

10: Did you suffer illness or injury? 2014: I had a trifecta of stomach flu, pink eye, and common cold during finals week. I also cut my foot open at Water World and it got infected

2015: I was sick for a month from kissing Hawaii

2016: Yeah, that month-long Hawaii plague kinda turned into a year-long strike from my immune system. Also, I got a node in my thyroid. So far it’s benign, just a weird lump

2017: I had to get surgery to remove the thyroid node

2018: I had a cough for 2 months

2019: Stomach flu

11: What was the best thing you bought? 2014: A Netflix subscription

2015: My TV

2016: All my Italy souvenirs. Idk I can’t pinpoint one thing

2017: Sebastian the pirate merman ornament

2018: I think the gold Giani Bernini shoes were this year

2019: Maybe some jewelry? Idk, I din’t really buy anything big

12: Whose behaviour merited celebration? 2014: My mom’s boyfriend is finally apologizing to her and trying to make up for cheating on her last year, and he actually seems to be working really hard to change

2015: Vincent has become close friends with me and shows a lot of bravery in how he handles things

2016: The football team finally got good

2017: My film class for all we accomplished and helping each other on projects

2018: My coworker and I actually became friends even though I didn’t like her at first

2019: My boyfriend for being a sweetheart

13: Whose behaviour made you appalled? 2014: There were a few guys who bailed on me without explanation, but the biggest one is my friend who stopped talking to me, apparently because I vented to her too much, but did not give me any chance to fix it and seems to hate me now

2015: All the guys who were too cowardly to text me back

2016: This one dude in Italy on my study abroad program made out, etc with me, then told me not to tell anyone because there was a different girl he wanted to get with

2017: My friend and his girlfriend got mad at me for seeking out another ride because they drove recklessly

2018: A guy who cheated on someone with me, and me a little for enabling it

2019: Customers

14: Where did most of your money go? 2014: A lot went into camera and film equipment rentals. Unfortunately quite a bit also went into the vending machine

2015: Random stuff, and more than usual went to holiday presents

2016: Groceries and clothes and knick knacks

2017: Rent

2018: Macy’s

2019: Jewelry

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about? 2014: I went to the Telluride Film Festival with a school group

2015: Getting to go on a band trip

2016: Getting to go on 3 (three!) band trips

2017: Graduating and London

2018: Las Vegas film shoot

2019: Having a boyfriend

16: What song will always remind you of 2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/19? 2014: Songs tend to remind me of people, and the songs that remind me of the people of 2014 are “Don’t Cha” for Captain and “Wildest Dreams” for Marble. Also, Blank Space for all of them

2015: Taylor Swift’s 1989 album

2016: Shut Up and Dance

2017: Not sure if I have one. Maybe the Anastasia soundtrack

2018: Maybe Waving Through a Window

2019: If I Were a Jolly Blacksmith

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? © richer or poorer? 2014: A) Maybe a little sadder. I’m just getting more desperate as more time passes with me single. B) About the same, maybe a couple pounds fatter. C) Richer, now that I have a job

2015: A) Happier. B) Thinner. C) About the same, maybe a little richer. I’m not excellent at saving

2016: A) Happier. I was about to say sadder, because I think this year as a whole I’ve been sadder than last year as a whole, but I remembered that in december I was trying to get over Hawaii and that sucked ass. B) Fatter. C) About the same, maybe a bit richer

2017: A) About the same. Maybe a little sadder, I kind of miss college. B) Probably about the same. C) Probably poorer because I actually have to pay rent now. But I also make a lot more money so maybe it evens out

2018: A) Maybe a little happier. B) Fatter. C) About the same

2019: A) About the same. B) Fatter. C) Poorer

18: What do you wish you’d done more of? 2014: Adventures, swing dancing, and maybe a little more textbook reading

2015: Enjoying myself and trying new experiences, and getting the most out of school

2016: Exercising, making friends in Italy

2017: I wish I had done more in college as a whole

2018: Making friends and flirting, and learning how to work hard

2019: Looking for jobs

19: What do you wish you’d done less of? 2014: Fighting with my parents, perhaps, and maybe less being sad or worried around people because clearly it pushes them away

2015: Worrying about things

2016: Thinking about Hawaii

2017: Strategizing

2018: Overthinking

2019: Eating pasta

20: How did you spend Christmas? 2014: With my mom’s boyfriend’s family

2015: Oops awk, I’m doing this early. But I will spend it with my mom’s boyfriend’s family

2016: Lol I’m doing it early again. I think I am just gonna be chilling, I’ll probably do Hanukkah that night

2017: I keep doing it early. Idk maybe watch a movie or something

2018: I’m gonna chill and maybe see a movie with my mom

2019: I went home and had Hanukkah with my mom and vented about jobs and my boyfriend

21: Did you fall in love in 2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/2019? 2014: No, I don’t think so. Maybe, with Captain a little

2015: Not quite

2016: I stayed in love with Captain. I’m pretty sure that started before this year but maybe not. I told him that I loved him this year, though

2017: Almost maybe, but not quite

2018: No

2019: Almost but not quite there yet

22: What was your favourite TV program? 2014: Supernatural

2015: How to Get Away With Murder

2016: Suits

2017: Friends

2018: Dexter or Criminal Minds

2019: Dexter

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 2014: My friend who hates me, I’m starting to hate her back

2015: I still don’t really hate anyone

2016: Don’t really hate anyone

2017: Yeah. Didn’t know her last year

2018: Not really

2019: Not really

24: What was the best book you read? 2014: Mistborn

2015: The Testing, maybe

2016: Mistborn series

2017: Mistborn series. Also not quite a book but the Choices game

2018: Here Lies Daniel Tate

2019: Didn’t really read anything good

25: What was your greatest musical discovery? 2014: Blank Space

2015: Shut Up and Dance

2016: Collabro

2017: Anastasia the Musical

2018: Dear Evan Hansen

2019: Spotify

26: What did you want and get? 2014: A job, new experiences

2015: More confidence, losing weight, better friend relationships

2016: A bowl trip, a summer abroad

2017: I may be on the path to getting a boyfriend?

2018: Film work, good roommates

2019: A boyfriend

27: What did you want and not get? 2014: A boyfriend, to lose weight, more confidence and conversational skills

2015: A boyfriend

2016: A boyfriend

2017: Cadence

2018: A boyfriend, to lose weight

2019: A new job

28: What was your favourite film of this year? 2014: The Imitation Game or Guardians of the Galaxy

2015: The Martian or Inside Out

2016: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

2017: Coco

2018: A Star Is Born

2019: Rocketman

29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 2014: Being in college

2015: Better friend relationships

2016: The football team doing well

2017: Graduating

2018: The B Flat

2019: My boyfriend

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/2019? 2014: Lazy

2015: Thift-shoppy

2016: Lazy

2017: Lazy when I was in school except for the days I saw Cadence, and then more fashionable when I got my job

2018: Business Lazy

2019: Lazy

31: What kept you sane? 2014: Hope for the future

2015: Belief in myself I guess

2016: Genetics and environmental factors that have not yet caused insanity

2017: Not sure

2018: Structure

2019: Not meeting the threshold for insanity

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? 2014: Chris Pratt

2015: Still Chris Pratt I think

2016: Chris Pratt is a sexy, sexy man

2017: Yup. Or Kit Harington

2018: Maybe Tom Holland

2019: Tom Hiddleston

33: What political issue stirred you the most? 2014: Probably the Leelah Alcorn suicide that just happened

2015: The presidential debates are happening

2016: The presidential election, first one that I got to vote in

2017: Maybe Net Neutrality

2018: ICE Internment camps for immigrant kids

2019: Trump as a whole

34: Who did you miss? 2014: My friend who hates me

2015: Hawaii

2016: Hawaii and Zach

2017: I missed Jessie while we were fighting

2018: Kylie

2019: Shaina

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014/2015/2016/2017/2018/2019. 2014: Let it Go

2015: Bravery means going after what you want

2016: The importance of storyboarding

2017: Strategizing just wastes time

2018: I don’t have to be the girl who never has a boyfriend

2019: Boyfriends have feelings too

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. 2014: Got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane

2015: I almost brought him up, but you start to talk about the movie that your family watches every single Christmas, and I’ll talk about that, for the first time, what’s past is past

2016: Buffaloes, Buffaloes, Go CU

2017: School’s out forever

2018: I’ve learned to slam on the brakes before I’ve even turned the key

2019: When will my life begin?

#new years #survey

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darkangeldesignstudio · 5 years

Text

Mother’s Day

Negan x Reader

Honestly, writing this story was hard. The angst was real and the PTSD was not fun to deal with, but I feel like sharing this story with you all has made me stronger in the long run and I hope you all enjoy it. Remember, if you are ever going through something like this or know someone who is, talk about it, ask for help and know in your heart that, no matter what happens. YOU ARE STRONG!!

Summary: When the world ended, you used it to escape a living hell. Later, found yourself a place to call home in Alexandria. You and your two children were welcomed into the community and you soon found a friend in the reformed soul of a prisoner named, Negan. Your relationship grows steadily over time and he becomes an irreplaceable part of your family, but when a nightmare from the past rears its ugly head, will your love be enough to keep you alive?

Warnings: Negan’s foul language (as usual), implied smut, talks of mental and physical abuse towards children and women, threats of sexual assault, violence, and death.

Chapter 3

Once every fall, after the harvests were brought in, the communities would host a fair for trading supplies and food and celebrating another year together with friends and families. This year, Alexandria was set to host the fair within its walls.

Everyone was milling around the town, celebrating with food and drink as more people came to join in the festivities. One caravan, carrying passengers from the Hilltop was parking on the streets when you and Nik walked past. You weren't paying much attention to the people around you, more intent to listen to your son's happy ramblings as you went to meet up with Negan, Pat, and Judith.

You felt a chill run the length of your spine, eyes were watching you from somewhere and the sensation was not pleasant. You looked up slowly, trying not to draw attention to yourself, and caught a glimpse of a man standing off to the side. He was leaning against the wagon, head turned away from you as if he was trying hard not to be seen, but he seemed somewhat familiar to you.

After a moment, he turned his face towards you and you froze in fear. It was your ex, Bryan, looking at you with a menacing smile on his face. How was he alive? How did he find you here? And where the hell was Negan?

Quickly, you turned back in the direction you were headed and looked around for Negan. By the time you spotted him, you were on the verge of a massive panic attack. Your eyes connected with Negan's and his face hardened. You shook your head when he took a step in your direction.

Pressing your hand into Nik's back, you pushed him in Negan's direction. “Honey, could you tell Negan to meet me at the gazebo?”

“Sure, mom. Don't forget about singing with everyone tonight.” You smiled at his excitement despite your inner turmoil, he always seemed to bring a smile to your face.

“I won't forget.” You nudged him once more, ushering him forward quickly before turning towards the gazebo.

You stayed vigilant as you went to meet with Negan. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, you didn't see your ex skulking around again before you reached your destination. You only had to wait a moment before Negan's gruff voice greeted you.

“What the fuck is going on? You looked like you saw a ghost back there.” You rolled your eyes at his language, you just couldn't help yourself, but the moment was short lived as you remember what you saw.

“He's here. I don't know how he found us, but he's here and I don't know what to do.” You were almost hysterical by the time you finished. There was no need to say any names, Negan knew who “he” was and what it meant for you.

“That son of a bitch comes anywhere near you or the kids and I will kill him. I don't care if they throw me back in that cell for it, I will fucking gut him like the little cowardly bitch he is.” His fists were clenched so tightly that you feared he would punch the gazebo's support posts in his rage and the last thing you needed was for him to be hurt.

Slowly you took his hand in yours, bringing it up to your face. His palm slowly opened to engulf the side of your face and you settled your cheek softly into his hand. That touch alone was enough to calm your heart and his.

“WE will protect them, Negan. By any means necessary.” Your eyes hardened as you gripped the back of Negan's hand. “I will not let him torment me ever again and no one would put you back in that cell for protecting me.”

A wicked smirk filled Negan's face, his eyes crinkled at the corners when it grew into a full and beaming smile. “There's my bad ass girl. I was starting to think I had lost her.”

He chuckled when you rolled your eyes at him again, but you smiled none the less. Standing on your toes, you planted a swift kiss on his lips before patting his chest. “Come on, lets find the boys. I want to keep an eye on them until we can be sure that asshat has left Alexandria.”

Negan's wrapped his arm around your shoulders and squeezed you gently in reassurance “Don't worry honey, the kids are with safe with Michonne right now. I'll tell her what's going on when we get there and she will put the guards on alert. The boys never have to know he was ever here.” His lips pressed softly to the top of your head as you walked back to where the kids were and Negan pulled Michonne to the side to do just that. Despite the danger, you felt safer with his assurances.

The fair continued without incident and you began to think you had just imagined seeing Bryan there in the first place, he never approached you or the kids. You weren't sure if it was because someone made him leave or he just didn't care all that much about you all anymore, either way, you were relieved

Until, just as you were walking towards the stage, you realized both of your assumptions were incorrect. He was yards away from the stage, smiling right at you despite the two guards standing at his back. You did your best to ignore him, Negan was with the kids in the crowd and, even if he could shake his guards, there were far too many people around for him to approach. Raising your chin in a sign of confidence, you walked quickly onto the stage, determined to power through your fear.

You sang together with some of the other men and women from the communities The songs were fun, nostalgic, and they made you forget about your ex for the moment. The last song of the night was all yours and you sang it with all of your heart, showing Bryan that he couldn't keep you down. Negan beamed at you with pride filled eyes and you gave him a saucy wink before walking off stage to join him.

A few people stopped to offer you praise for how much of a great time they had had watching everyone sing together. Your friends hugged you quickly before going on their way and soon there was nobody standing between you and your family.

You walked quickly in their direction, but a figure off to your left made you pause. Bryan was leaning against the fence with no guard in sight, but you were running off an immense high from your performance and did the only thing you could think of in that moment. You flipped him the bird and smiled wickedly at him like that bad ass bitch that Negan claimed you to be. The anger on Bryan's face was priceless and gave you a thrill as you walked up to your family.

Negan smiled down at you knowingly. “Great job tonight babe. That was bad ass” From the look in his eyes, you knew that he wasn't just talking about your singing.

You giggled a bit at his grin, laughing out loud when you heard Judith scold him for his language. Negan, being the big softy that he was, apologized to the sweet girl before turning all three of the kids in Michonne's direction.

“Why don't you guys go to Michonne's for the night, I have to talk to your mom about something important.” Pat looked like he was going to protest until Nik piped in.

“Ew, that just means you are gonna go make kissy faces. Nobody wants to see that.” The kids all started to giggle and Negan outright laughed.

“What do you mean? My kissy faces are adorable.” The kids all laughed as Negan made a face like a fish at them promptly scattering in Michonne's direction when he swept you into his arms, dipping you over his arms and kissing you fully on the mouth. You laughed heartily all the way home, ignoring the eyes that followed you.

A short and silent walk got you home safely. Negan was tense and you were worried. About halfway to your house, you had begun to second guess your decision to mock your ex the way you did. What if he tried to get even?

“Stop thinking like that right now, [Y/N]. You stood up for yourself, never be fucking ashamed of that.” Negan's conviction made you feel a bit better. He was right, after all the shit Bryan had done to you in the past, you had the right to be strong.

“You're right. I'm just scared he will do something stupid that will get someone hurt. It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened.” You sighed as Negan's arms wrapped around your waist from behind you.

You could almost feel the evil smile on his face. “I'm looking fucking forward to seeing him try.”

Turning into Negan's body you wrapped your arms around his waist and relaxed into his chest. “Just promise me you wont get hurt.”

Negan's chuckle shook your body. “Who do you think I am doll? I'm no fucking novice when it comes to kicking ass babe. I mean, I may not have Lucille anymore, but I can still hold my own in a fight.”

You sighed internally at his cocky bullshit before looking up into his eyes. Reaching up to him, you cupped his face in your hands. “I know you can hold your own in a fight, Negan. I just worry sometimes. If anything ever happened to you....” You shook your head and looked away, it was too painful to even think about a world without Negan.

His fingers gripped your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I know how you feel darlin. I would be just as damn devastated if something happened to you or the boys. I promise, I will be careful and nothing bad will happen to any of us, even if I have to go to Michonne and beg on my knees for her to do something.”

You smiled brightly up at Negan, tears burned the back of your eyes as you stretched up to meet him. “I love you, Negan.” You whispered those words against his lips just before you molded your body into his and took his mouth in a hot kiss that left you both gasping for air.

Negan looked at you with eyes full of heat and as he picked you up, you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist. “I love you too, [Y/N]. And don't you ever fucking forget it.”

Any other words spoken that night were accentuated by moans and sighs and impassioned screams as Negan showed you just how much you meant to him that night. You were his and he was determined to let the whole town know it by morning.

The next morning was quiet, everyone from the other communities had gone home or were readying to leave by the time you and Negan left your bed. Bryan was nowhere to be found and the kids never knew he had been there. Life went on.

#negan #twd negan #the walking dead negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #negan's thirst squad #negan's warm weather writing challenge

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