#i wanted it. so bad. i've done basically everything for the past year and i didnt get it the first time and i could justify it then

[bingbongsupremacy]

The Nanny Pt. 2

Pairing: Father! Eddie Munson x reader

Warnings: I have never been on a tour bus. I've done a bit of research so I have an idea of what they look like. The bus portions might not be completely accurate, especially since they're supposed to be from the 1980-90's. Sorry if it's not 100% accurate. Also swearing.

Series Summary: Years ago you and Eddie used to be friends. After you graduated, you two fell out of contact. After years of not speaking to each other, Eddie offers you a job you can't resist; be a nanny for his little girl.

Part Summary: It's time to start your new job; nannying for the child of a rock star.

*Not Proof Read*

Tag List: @maskofmirrors @saucypeanuttt @hugdealer

******

Was this a good idea?

I stare up at the large bus looming over me. It casts a shadow over my body, leaving me feeling cold.

Can I handle this? I've never been away from Hawkins for longer than a few months. What if something goes wrong? What if I get fired?

" You can come in, ya know. " Eddie's voice startles me.

I look over at the previously empty door frame. Eddie's chest and head peek past the shiny black door frame. His style hasn't changed a bit. Still the same old Eddie.

Or is it?

" I promise we don't bite. " Eddie's voice is playful. It's comforting. Familiar.

" I hope. I'm really not interested in getting rabies anytime soon. " I joke back, trying to shake off the uneasiness. Eddie wouldn't hurt me. Not with his kid on board. Plus, I grew up with the other guys. They might look scary but I could beat their asses if it really came down to it.

Eddie's laugh is exactly the same. Warm and smooth, something that's so easy to listen to and get lost in. Something you want to hear over and over again.

Eddie moves out of the way so I can get onto the bus. " I was worried you got lost. Sorry I couldn't pick you up today. Rose decided it was the perfect day to get get marker on every possible portion of her skin. "

I let out a small laugh at the sight of Eddie's slightly frustrated sigh. " Oh no. "

He cracks a small smile. " Don't worry, I was able to get it all off. She's slightly less green now. I hope it wasn't too stressful getting here. "

As he talks Eddie leads me towards the back of the bus.

This place if fucking huge. I mean, they are global rockstars. Why wouldn't it be?

I had no idea a bus could hold this much stuff. It's basically a mini apartment. Everything looks brand new. The leather couches are glossy and luxurious, something I definitely couldn't afford on my own.

" It wasn't that bad. It's kinda hard to miss a huge bus in the middle of Hawkins. I mean, we don't get much action down here. But you know that, duh. You lived. " I don't know why I feel so awkward. So nervous. It's the new environment, it has to be. I'll get used to it.

We pass a few rows of what I assume are bunks. Clothes are scattered along the floor and partially hanging out of a few of the bunks. This is definitely where Gareth, Doug and Jeff sleep.

" This is the boy's area. " My suspicions confirmed. " Fuck. " Eddie mutters, nearly tripping over a hidden pile of magazines. " I told them to clean this shit up earlier. Obviously they don't listen. " Eddie reaches down and snags one of the partially open magazines off of the ground.

A nearly naked woman holding an open notebook to cover her chest stares back up at him.

" I'm gonna have to talk to him about this. Jeff can't just have this shit lying around in the open when Rosie's on the bus. " Eddie chucks the magazine into one of the bunks, shaking his head in disapproval.

We finally get to the last section of the bus, a separated room. " I just wanted to let you know about a few of the rules I have for Rosie. " He pulls a small slip of paper out of his black ripped jeans. " I didn't know if I should make a list. I've never really had a nanny before. I figured it's better safe than sorry. " His eyes scan over the ripped white sheet in his hands. The back has streaks of green and blue, something I'm guessing is curtesy of Rose.

" I really want to try to get her to bed at 8. 8:30 at most. I've been a bit lax about it the past few days since we're trying to adjust to the whole tour bus thing, but I read that structure's like really important for a kid so I'm trying to do that. As much as I can I mean. It's a little difficult on tour. " He lets out a small tired laugh. The past few days have definitely taken a toll on him.

" I get that. I'll do my best to get her to bed on time. " I reassure him, hoping to take some of the stress off of his plate.

" Thanks. " His eyes meet mine. " That'd really help me out a ton. I'm trying to keep cursing away from Rose. So please no curse words around her. "

" Oh my, Gareth, Doug, and Jeff not swearing? That's a first for sure. " I say in slight disbelief. I never thought I'd see the day.

Eddie chuckles. " It's a struggle. They slip up sometimes. I do too. It's hard not to, but I really don't want Rose to end up being that kid who curses in every sentence in class. At least not until high school. " Eddie hands the small slip of paper to me. " She's not allowed to have any photos taken of her. I understand that's going to be hard with the fuck-sorry, freaking paparazzi, but just maybe try to cover her face or something if they manage to find us or see her. People know what she looks like so if something does manage to get taken, I'm not going to flip out. I just don't feel comfortable with her face being everywhere on anything. "

I nod. " I completely understand. I wouldn't want my kid's pictures out there like that. I'll do what I can. "

" Thanks. Alright, I think that's really it right now. If something comes up I'll let you know. " Eddie opens the door and immediately a small head pokes out from one of the curtains blocking what I'm guessing are the beds. " This is the bunk room where everyone sleeps.

" You! " Rose squeaks, pointing a small finger at me. She jumps out of the bottom bunk she's on before launching herself in our direction. The small bunny from before is still tightly clutched under her arm, this time it's got a plastic pink necklace around it's neck and a bright purple bow squishing the two ears together. " Hi. " She grins up at me.

Faded green lines cover the tops of her hands. She's dressed in a small princess-like outfit, a stark contrast in color to the mostly dark bus.

Like her, her bunk is covered by a princess themed curtain, the only curtain that's a color other than black.

I smile down at the small girl. " Hey, Rose. How are you today? " I ask, bending slightly to meet her eye level.

" Good! I-I have a tea party wif- wif daddy and den we ated cookies! " She exclaims. " Daddy leted (Let) me play wif his gui-guigar (guitar) today too! "

Eddie chuckles, ruffling the wild curls of the little girl. " It's guitar, baby. "

" That's what I said! " She sasses, her face crinkling into an annoyed pout.

Eddie rolls his eyes. " This child. "

" I wonder where she gets that from. " I tease the man.

He places a hand on his heart. " Well, I have no idea. Couldn't be me. It hurt you'd assume I'm the dramatic one. " He pouts dramatically. His pout is nearly identical to the mini him standing inches away from us.

There's no way in hell someone could think they're not related. From the attitude to the hair, the genetics stand strong.

" This is your bunk. It's right above Rosie's. Your shelves are right here. " He pulls out three shelves on the right side of the bunks. " And this is your closet. " He gestures to the taller portion up top. " I'm right across from Rosie and usually the bunk up top is used for storage unless we have an extra guest or something. " Eddie leans back against his bunk. " It's a little tight in here but it's only temporary. We'll be outta here in a day or so and on our way to Texas. "

I pull open the curtain that hides my bed. A small fully made bed sits on the other side. A portable lamp sits neatly tucked in the top corner by a fluffed-out pillow. It's tight but there's still enough room to move around a bit. " Are we flying? " I ask curiously. I assumed that at some point or another, we'd be flying. That's something that's made me a bit anxious. I've never been on a plane before.

" Yeah-Whoa! " Eddie lets out a surprised gasp.

Rose giggles as she clings to her father's tattoo-covered arms. He's upgraded from the small stick n pokes to a few larger pieces. " Daddy I jumpted good. "

Eddie pulls Rose up to his chest, tightly hugging her while playfully swinging her around. " Yah you did kiddo. " He says with amusement in his tone. His gaze returns back to me. " I bought you tickets for all of the flights and rooms at the hotels we're staying at so everything is covered. "

" Thank you. " I smile at the guy.

He's changed. He seems...calmer. Less reckless than the kid I knew years ago. Having Rose' has probably changed that. He's mature now.

" Of course, you're doing me a huge favor. " He gently sets his kid back onto the ground. " By the way, if you need anything, please let me know. I can get it for you. Or let our assistant Gina know. She's got one of my cards too. "

" I feel like I'm getting more out of this than you are. " I say softly. " You're giving me so much. I feel bad for taking all of your money. "

Eddie shakes his head, his curles flying out. " You don't need to feel bad for anything. I promise. You're gonna help me out so much. I was stressing so bad trying to find someone to help with Rose. I was so worried I wouldn't find someone in time. I'm just giving you the resources to help you guys live comfortably. And you're not spending all of my money. I promise you. I wouldn't be doing all of this if I couldn't afford to. " Eddie says honestly.

" Thanks Ed. " I send him a small smile.

A part of me still feels a little bad but the other part is so excited. I've never done anything like this before. I can't wait to see what happens.

" The guys will be back from the gas station anytime soon and then we'll hit the road. It's probably best if you get all of your stuff put away so you're not flying around back here when we take off. " Eddie reaches into Rose' bunk where she's retreated back into. She lets out a loud squeal as she's pulled into the light by her father, her hands gripping tightly onto two small dolls.

" Daddy! "

Eddie chuckles at her frustrated shout. " I'm going to take this one on a walk to get her jitters out so she doesn't destroy the bus while we're on the road. " Eddie tickles Rose' tummy. " Isn't that right, baby? You're full of energy, aren't ya? Aren't ya? " His voice switches into a baby voice as he pulls his face close to his daughters.

She lets out a loud belly laugh. " No! Daddy Stop! " She shouts in between giggles.

Eddie sets Rose on his hip, careful not to bump her into anything. " We'll be back. " He says before leading her back to the enterence of the bus.

I watch as they walk away, a smile on my face.

This is going to be interesting.

#fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #x you #x female reader #stranger things x reader #x chubby reader #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #x plus size reader #stranger things x plus size reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson

[i-cant-sing]

Okay okay, time for me to word vomit an idea:

So imagine that after Dabi does his whole vengeful arc, kills dozens of people and publicly calls out Enji's abusive ass, my man just gets caught by the cops and he's like put in a psychiatric hospital (because obviously Enji pulled some strings to save his son from death row to ease his own guilt).

Anyways, Dabi is like majorly depressed obviously and he's like "well, I've done everything I wanted to, so I might as well off myself" and cue reader's entry.

So basically, reader could be a nurse/doctor(NOT A PSYCHIATRIST) and she's all warm and fuzzy and a literal Ray of sunshine and Dabi hates her, but he doesn't give a crap atm.

And like everytime Dabi tries to kill himself, reader is there to stop him. It obviously started with "nooo, please don't kill yourself🥺 you are precious🥺🥺" to reader just swooping in and foiling his plans like "can you not die during my shift? I need an early night off🥱". Dabi is actively trying to kill himself, like he's standing on the ledge to jump, and reader is tackling him down and then punching him for making you run all the way up to the roof.

And like reader is bandaging him up with great gentleness and care and Dabi is staring at her being all close to him (he is mesmerised), and he goes-

"I'll be successful in my suicide one day."

And you just smile and shake your head. "Not as long as I'm praying." And at first, Dabi is super annoyed because he's think you're into the whole religious mumbo jumbo, but he actually caught you one day praying (insert whatever religion) and he's bewitched by the sincerity you pray for his (and others) well being. As if you believed with your whole heart that someone up there is listening to you.

He doesn't know what or when exactly he fell for you, but he did. And he decides that he'll confess to you after he gets out of psychiatric hospital (after tugging at Rei's and Enji's heart strings and them using money and influence to free their menace son). After spending 6 years in the hospital, 6 years where you were the only one who truly cared for him, he'll finally confess to you.

But then you don't come. Not even the next day, or the week after that. Turns out, you left your job.

Out of the blue? Dabi's suspicions rose.

He got out of the hospital and began doing his own research on you until he found your address and well... he sort of came in unannounced (look he knocked, you didn't answer, so he melted the lock and let himself in. At least he came in bearing flowers and wine).

He wasn't expecting you to be at home, but there you were, lying in your bed, a little too still for someone to be asleep.

He throws the covers off you, eyes narrowing on the red stains on your sheet before moving to your bleeding wrists.

Dabi's world stops, every cell in his body stops before every fiber in his being screams and makes him move. He doesn't check for pulse, doesn't check if you're still breathing, perhaps he'd die himself if he didn't like the answer he found. He picks you up and immeadiately goes to the nearest hospital, which fortunately was near.

While you were being operated on, Dabi sat outside, heart thumping as he prayed to whatever deity you did.

Please... not yet.

His prayers were answered as tge doctors told him that you're going to be alright... physically that is. Mentally? Well, Dabi is about to figure it out.

He sat by your side waiting for you to wake up. When you finally did, he saw how different you looked. Obviously he had noticed that you were physically weak, but your eyes... they lost their shine.

Your eyes turned to confusion when you looked at him. "D-Dabi? What are you-"

"I found you." That was enough for you to put together what he meant. You turned your eyes away from him, ashamed.

"Why?" He asks in a quiet tone. "What made you do it?"

"My choices." You whispered. "Bad decisions in the past."

Dabi wanted to pry more out of you, but he knew you wouldn't explain more. So, he takes matter into his own hands and leaves the hospital, telling you that he needs to run some errands, but he's actually going back to your apartment and starts rummaging through your stuff to find some clues as to what exactly caused you to do this.

He didn't have to look around too much because he found your phone and snooped through your messages. Someone was blackmailing you. They had some explicit pictures of you, seems like a toxic ex who was threatening to share these photos with your family and social circle.

So Dabi pays a visit to your ex, takes care of him and the pictures he had,making sure to get rid of all the copies too. All in a day!

By night he had returned to the hospital, you were asleep. He slept there too, in the uncomfortable hospital chair, heart at peace as he watched your chest rise and fall steadily.

Next morning, when it was time for you to leave, Dabi helped you and took you home. You thanked him for everything, and Dabi made sure to tell you that he'll be picking you up for lunch later. You agreed hesitantly. And at lunch, he finally revealed that he came to you because he wanted to ask you out.

You look surprised, more so when he reveals that he had fancied you for a while and that he understands that relationships might not be a priority for you at the moment but-

"I understand if dating is not a priority for you right now but if you ever do consider falling in love, know that I've been on the top of your wait list for the past 6 years and will wait another lifetime if that's all the time you need."

You're in tears at his words, and you have a hard time not breaking down as he takes your hands in his, his thumbs carefully tracing over your bandaged wrists as he promises to wait by your side, that he'll always be there to help you with anything, that if you gave him a chance, he'll spend the rest of his life trying to make you happy.

"Dabi, i- I am not good for you." You say, voice wobbly. "My past, it'll always haunt me and I care too much about you to let it haunt you as well."

"Your ex? His pictures?" He asked watching shock appear on your face. "You won't ever have to worry about him, Y/n."

You shook off your surprise. "That's not it. It's not the only problem I have!"

"Then tell me. I'll fix all of your problems." Dabi promises with such sincerity that you're compelled to believe him.

You don't tell him obviously, saying that it is your burden, your mess to deal with. Dabi doesn't push more, only because he knows he'll figure it out later anyways. Hey, he may be a criminal but he was once the son of the top hero who trained him, so Dabi's IQ is through the fucking roof.

And a man in love has no limitations.

Had a DUI? He deals with it. Parents disowned you? He'll make them regret it. Killed someone? He'll make sure you have an alibi to prove your innocence. Cheated off a test in grade 2? He'll make sure there are no witnesses alive. He'll burn the world- burn himself if it means keeping you warm.

You don't wanna date a criminal? Fine, he's working a cooperate job and since he's so smart, he'll be a fucking CEO in no time and have enough money and time to spend on you. Youre crying because you feel ugly when you see your scars? Dabi makes sure to kiss them every day and pulls out his turtleneck (aka the trademark Todoroki fit) for you, while he buys the best treatment money can buy for your scars. Mental health is going down? He's taking you to the best therapist in town. You're sad he's an atheist because it means you won't be with him in heaven? Damn, he's a convert now.

I just adore men in love :(

Okay but I don't think we're focusing on how scary smart Dabi actually is😳😳😳 I just know it, I KNOW he's super smart but he downplays it all the time because he's depressed or whatever.

#yandere dabi #yandere dabi x reader #yandere bnha #bnha headcanons #yandere mha #bnha imagines

[furiousgoldfish]

(tw mention of suicidal thoughts)

Alright so I am writing this because I can't find anyone to talk to, and my brain is letting me know that I need to talk about it somewhere.

I am falling depressed, and I'm unsure if it's genuine depression, or some sort of deep grief that is just feeling very similar. And I've already looked up what you're supposed to do if you're trying to break out of depression; I am sleeping full 8 hours on a regular sleep schedule, I shower regularly, I do my best to eat regular meals (sometimes it doesn't happen due to lack of energy), if I have any energy left in me, I take a little walk, I pay attention to my surroundings. I do my best to answer messages and to socialize, even superficially, with the people I see.

However, despite me doing all that, the deep feeling of sadness is persevering, in fact it gets worse after my walks, I end up going home in worse feeling of dread than before.

I was going to keep trying to break out of it, and then today something bad and triggering happened, and my mind just went very dark. Like what is even the point anymore? I started considering if anyone around me would be impacted by my suicide. And then just tried to dissociate from the bad thing that happened, tried to create reality in which it didn't. Like I could ignore it out of existence. Like maybe if I just curl up over there and never look at anything ever again, maybe then bad things would go away.

I tried to comfort myself thinking I could, at least, tell people around me and see if anyone would say anything kind or helpful, but people around me did not care at all, would go on about their troubles instead and looked at me like I was weirdo for complaining. Which again, made me feel like talking to people was the worst idea ever and like I was dumb for even engaging, I should have known I'm alone in this.

So now I'm back to sinking down in my grief, occasionally getting numb from it and sinking again. I had periods, years of grief in the past, and it just feels like you're slowly dying, right, and it doesn't stop and it feels suffocating and like you'd do anything for it to stop. But also in the past, I knew what I was grieving; it was the loss of my delusion of family, loss of hope that I will have family members who are in any way safe for me, loss of security and safety that comes with family, acknowledgment that I was abandoned and left with predators for the most of my life. I thought I was done grieving about all that, because for a while I just didn't think about it, and it didn't bother me. I don't think that's what I'm grieving now.

It's actually hard to pinpoint it, because my memories are mostly gone, but I think it's the loss of friendships in my life. I've tried hard to build connections with other people, even as scared and reluctant I was feeling about it, but it always fell trough, and left me feeling with less hope. The ends of friendships were so traumatic for me, that my memories of the entire friendships got deleted. And I can tell right now that hearing anything about people having friends, spending time together and helping each other, that usually sets my grief off, and causes me to start crying regardless of where I am. I tried to recall my past memories of friendships, but all I get back are things I never want to feel or live trough again. Every memory feels like enough reason never to interact with a person again, all of them cut so deep I have to dissociate from them right away.

And basically I don't know what to do. I am losing every bit of my willpower or energy to do anything. Even with my best efforts to stay upright, to interact with my environment and go to walks, I'm only out of bed while I'm working. And I'm randomly bursting into tears and collapsing while I'm doing my job. I am messing up basic tasks. There isn't any activity that isn't exhausting. And everything I cared about feels like nothing to me. I can't even imagine a future, which is usually what I did to pull myself out of bad moods, I would imagine a future where I had a home of my own, and security that I would be able to survive there without having to fight for my life. Now it feels like even if I had that, I would just still want to die.

I've been slowly falling into this place for months, but it is more real today than at any time before. I've put so much effort not to end up feeling like this but... it only makes me more sad to know I'm in this mess anyway. I don't know what to do. I've tried interacting with people, I've tried befriending people, every new interaction feels like it's going to drown me further.

#tw suicidal thoughts #tw mentions of wanting to die #grief #depression #feeling stuck #did anyone ever get out of this mess #without needing another person to be kind to them

[iminlovewithwomen]

hiii I love your work💗

could I please request a henry danger x reader the reader could be rays daughter she is also indestructible and let's say they've been dating since season 3 . now it's like season 5 and they are talking about the future reader tries to talk to henry about college but henry avoids the conversation and they end up making out if you are comfortable with it you could write a smut or something

or

could you do like henry x reader in the same context as before but like when they post their v-cards to each other like it was their first timee

i'm honestly not sure how to go about this request but i'll definitely try, btw i've never done anything nsfw so pleaseeee be patient with me!!

The Future

Warnings: basically read the request lmfao

You were in the Man Cave with your boyfriend of 2 years, about to be 3. Both of you were gathered on the couch, talking about fighting villains.

"I can't believe the crime rate of criminals are going down." You said, looking at Henry. He nods but tilts his head a bit.

"Probably because we've put all of them into jail. The only ones that keep coming back are Dr. Minyak and The Toddler." He laughs, looking back at you.

"Hey, Hen? Can I talk to you about somethin'?" You asked him. The smile on his face was completely gone now.

"It's not bad, I promise! I just wanted to ask you about something." The corners of his mouth came back up in relief. He thought you were going to break up with him, which you would never do.

You and Henry had been dating for about 2 years now. To be honest, you were completely in love with him. Since you were Captain Man's daughter, you went on mission with them all the time. It helps that you're indestructible because you never get hurt, which relieves Henry.

Henry was scared about you at first when he got a job as Kid Danger, but you quickly told him you were indestructible since you were Ray's biological daughter.

Henry asked you what you wanted to talk about, and you tried to talk about something Henry had avoided for the past few months. You were honestly not sure why he wouldn't talk about it, but it needed to be talked about.

"Henry, I want to talk about the future. What are you going to do when we graduate? Are you going to go to college?" Henry quickly looked at everything in the room but you, which was hard for him since he loves staring at you.

"Actually, I've been getting these letters. From the school." He finally looked at you and fidgeted with his hands.

"Henry. What did those letters say?" You questioned. Your eyebrow raised in confusion.

"I'm not going to graduate. Being Kid Danger has taken up so much time in school I've had way too many absences and way too many missings assignments."

Your mouth was wide open at that point. You quickly shoved your bottom lip to meet your top lip when you saw tears watering in Henry's eyes.

"Oh, babe, don't cry. It's okay." You wrapped your arms around his neck and his head hit your chest. You felt arms touch your back and water on your shirt. You consoled him as he started full-on sobbing.

"Do you want me to cheer you up, baby? Is that what you want me to do?" He lifts his head to meet your eyes. He nodded and leaned back to see what you would do.

Your leg lifted over both of his legs, your body on his thighs. He blushed as he looked down. You lifted his head up with your finger and as soon as your eyes locked in, you roughly put your lips on his. He definitely wasn't expecting this.

You put your right hand on his left arm and your left arm on the nape of his neck. His hands met your lower back and he pulled you closer, desperate for more. Your hips slowly grinded down on his thighs, making him groan.

You pulled away, your lips red and swollen from the quick makeout session you had. You could hear the elevator coming down, so you quickly leaped off of his lap and the door opened.

"Yo, what's up?" Your father said as you and your boyfriend looked at eachother and smiled.

#henry danger #henry hart #ray manchester #captain man #jasper dunlop #charlotte page #henry hart x reader

[honeyhotteoks]

hi everyone ♡ a little about where i've been and why i'm not posting....

so... it's no secret that i fell off the face of the earth when it comes to writing, and for that i just want to apologize. i know a lot of you have been waiting for the next chapter of tnt, further aurora updates, or just looking forward to some smutty kinktober one-shots...... but to be completely honest i haven't written in a little while.

i've been trying to but i keep coming up short, and i've been avoiding this blog ever since because i just feel bad for not being able to give you guys the stories you're waiting for. for that reason, i essentially took a creative break and decided not to respond to any messages about writing. i know that kind of sucks, but i know myself and i didn't want to promise "soon" when i knew that wasn't true.

i'm starting slowly to work on things again, and i really hope i'll be able to share some of that work with you soon, but genuinely i just needed space from working on fic and to be honest..... from the fandom. i love being an atiny, but there was a swell of negativity on twitter for a while and i've been feeling a little uninspired with the past year of content and endless touring and it all combined into me putting things off.

i'm also................................ much more of a multi now.... which i really never thought would happen but here we are. i have no idea if i'll actually start writing for any of those groups, but if i do, i hope some of you also enjoy those groups and you stick with me. a little blurb about my new biases and the groups i'm now following, etc. is at the bottom of this post.

as far as what's going on with my ateez work? here's a quick recap:

this night together: still in progress, i have ~4 chapters finished, but chap ten and some of the time skips have me a little stuck. once i iron that out and finish out the last 2-3 chapters after the arc that's written, i'll get back to posting. at this point i'd like to have it done so i can release it confidently and as a complete story. into the aurora: i have about half of book one edited, which will include some new scenes / cleaned up scenes, but nothing crazy. i'd like to start updating old chapters once everything is finalized. book two is.... slow going. i'm hoping a breath of fresh air will help, but it's still my goal to come back to these characters. one-shots: i have about 4-5 ateez one-shots that are half written. my plan is to finish these and release them as inspiration strikes to wrap them up.

thank you all for your patience, and all of your kind messages. so many people have checked in on me both anon and not, and even if i haven't responded it's meant so much as i work on coming back to writing. i may not be able to respond to all the messages since so many of them are in my inbox, but slowly i may chip away at them

i'll see you all very soon~

(so chai multi era.... in a whirlwind of discovering other kpop groups..... i've ended up a carat, a stay, a moa, and a hidden kard. again, no idea if i'll ever write for any of these groups, but.... my biases are below so who knows)

seventeen - s.coups (regularly wrecked by hip hop line + dino) stray kids - lee know + hyunjin txt - soobin (are we surprised tho) kard - bm + jiwoo (but also like basically ot4 let's be real here)

♡

#honeyhotteoks updates #i love you all i hope i can get my ish together soon #also if you see me start to reblog non ateez fic recs...... #we're in the chai multi era #surprise???????

[gloomylace]

hii!! debunking cluvunies post because it is the SAME terrible excuse from their discord server! no tq, very long under cut. tw for rape && perhaps other things, be cautious

Establishing boundaries is hard, especially if you've been shut down multiple times. As well as the fact cluvunies had IGNORED previous attempts to establish boundaries. That's quite discouraging, ain't it? Plus other beings ignored my boundaries or just blatantly was an asshole about it. You wouldn't wanna keep trying if you were constantly ignored or hurt trying to do so, right?

The fact you never said anything about being an impulsive liar before is an issue as well. It's not hard to say 'I impulsively lie a lot, please don't believe everything I say.' But, you didn't do that and ended up causing more damage. Honestly, I don't even believe it's a lie. None of your stories ever add up. There's always contradicting information or pieces of the story missing. You also said something about doing things with your 11 year old cousin && turning the blame onto the little cousin? That's gross.

Pathological lying is not okay and that really really should be in your BYF or as a warning. Lying like that isn't okay especially since you could get in legal trouble for your lies. I could've easily told authorities that somebody was crushing on me and asking me sexual questions online but I didn't.

Also, asking sexual questions or anything like that is not okay. You never asked me, or anybeing else for that matter if it was okay. I am not okay with that, it makes me uncomfortable because I am a victim of sexual abuse && grooming myself. Sexual topics is not something I am comfortable with unless we're very close. As in like you've seen my face, heard my voice, etc.

Lying is not an excuse and it never will be. Lies aren't a justifiable reason for any of this. You can't justify half of this. You need to own up to the fact you've done some shitty things and apologize for it. You can't avoid this forever.

You also failed to mention the following: Your kokoa alter suddenly appearing after learning I was kokoa (&& all of my identity that they have basically taken from me, especially my typing quirk && editing style), your consistent trauma dumping on basically everybeing you talk to, especially me and another being, and you ignoring my boundaries on multiple occasions.

And again, establishing boundaries is hard. I get shut down every single time I try to && often try to hint at boundaries in other ways (showing a thing i made with the thing i'm uncomfy w mentioned && such), if I have something on my boundaries rentry (.co/smiled) it should be obvious if i'm okay with it or not, right?

Just 'wanting to see a reaction' is NOT an acceptable reason to do something. That's like bullying somebeing and then trying to justify it by saying 'I didn't mean it! I just wanted to see what would happen!!' Doesn't sound like a good reason, right? That's because it ISN'T a good reason.

Also, saying you'd want to die from r//pe is absolutely disgusting? I've been r//ped, it is not a fun thing nor is it something to wish to happen. It hurts physically and mentally. Wishing to be r//ped is not okay, especially if you haven't been r//ped at all before. If you haven't, you don't know how it feels both on your body and on your mind. Just because you're mentally hurting does not make that an okay thing to say. R//pe is never a fun thing.

You consistently avoid topics that make you seem bad to keep your image up. But you need to own up to the fact you messed up and stop avoiding it. Copy pasting a message from discord won't change anything. Please at least put some effort into it.

#Kisses。 #important #please read #tw drama #cw drama #tw rap3 #tw rape #cw rape #cw rap3

[otakusheep15]

Winter Holiday with Twisted Wonderland

Hi everyone! It's been forever since I made an actual post. I've been trying to write for the past month, but the world just does not want me to lol. But I made it through 2023 and now it's the new year, so I thought it was time I post something again.

This is basically little blurbs of how I think the boys would spend their winter holidays. I'm trying to keep everything ambiguous since I don't know what they celebrate, and I also want everyone who reads this to feel somewhat included at least, so this is me trying my best. If it feels a little rough, that's largely because I'm still trying to fight the writer's block lol. Still, I hope y'all enjoy!

First Years

Ace Trappola: He mostly spends his time relaxing. It's not much different for him than any other season. He enjoys the vibes of winter, but he's not the biggest fan of the cold, so he does his best to stay inside. A big secret of his is that he'll secretly binge all of the cheesy romance movies airing around this time. He'd never admit it though.

Deuce Spade: A lot of his time is spent with his mom, as per usual. Lots of shopping days and going to winter farmers' markets. They also spend time at home drinking hot cocoa and watching holiday movies. He does also enjoy a good afternoon jog through the snow if it's not too much.

Jack Howl: He loves the winter very much. It's his favorite season. He spends most of his days outside playing in the snow with his siblings and enjoying the cold air. The one thing he dislikes his how he grows a double coat to keep him warm, meaning he sheds a lot more than usual. Other than that, he's having fun. Anytime it snows, his tail is going wild with excitement.

Epel Felmier: From dawn until dusk, he's either in the fields tending to crops or out in the crowds selling products. When he's done with work, he likes to curl up in front of a warm fire and work on his carvings. His hands always have to be moving, even when he's meant to be relaxing.

Ortho Shroud: He's spending time with his brother. Idia is not the best at socializing, so he does his best to make sure Idia has someone during these months considering how bad seasonal depression can get. He's also trying to help Idia get more out there, and enjoy the festivities of the season, even if he knows it won't work.

Sebek Zigvolt: He spends winter the same way he spends the rest of his time, with Malleus. Or, that's what he wants to be doing. Instead, he's given a vacation, much to his displeasure. So now he's spending time with his family. It's a little awkward being gone from his station for so long, but he will admit (to himself, begrudgingly) that it is somewhat nice to have a break.

Second Years

Riddle Rosehearts: Winter is always a bit strange for him. He's so used to spending it at home under strict conditions that it takes him some time to get used to the freedom he now has. He likes to spend his time sitting by a fireplace with a book and some tea. Now that he's independent, he likes having this time to relax instead of worrying about family.

Ruggie Bucchi: He spends time back in his childhood home. He visits his grandma and helps take care of the neighborhood kids. They're full of energy and like playing around when it snows, so of course he joins them. He'll also spend time cooking warm meals with whatever ingredients he can scrounge up.

Azul Ashengrotto: Winters are a busy time for him. It's the season of giving according to some, so he's taking full advantage in any way he can. He's striking deals with anyone he comes across and just generally doing the same shady things he usually does. However, he is also consciously taking breaks and making sure to spend time with his family, or at least calling them if he's above the surface.

Jade Leech: He's tending to his terrariums. Winter is not the best for a lot of his plants, so he has to give them extra attention lest they wilt. It's a lot of hard work, but he's very dedicated to them and he's willing to put in the effort. He also begins working on winter-specific plant life and fungi as well so that he can grow his collection.

Floyd Leech: He gets the winter zoomies. The cold makes him extra hyper and excitable, so he's running around a lot more than usual. Ever since discovering snow, he's loved it, so he's spending most of his time rolling around and playing in it. He also loses whatever loose sleep schedule he had and just passes out whenever his body physically can't anymore.

Kalim al-Asim: He prefers summer, but winter is fun too! While he is busy helping his dad and getting trained to succeed him, he still makes sure to take time to have fun. He and his siblings will go out and play around in the snow and just have fun however they can. He can't always handle the cold like his siblings can, but he does his best to keep up with them.

Jamil Viper: He's given a vacation on the request (read: demands) of Kalim, so he's relaxing. For once he has no responsibilities, and he's living his best life. He's making warm curry for himself and catching up on books he's never had the chance to read. He does have the urge to go back to work early, but he forces those urges away.

Silver Vanrouge: He's spending time with his father. Winter makes him extra tired, so he spends a lot of it inside sleeping. Lilia stays with him for a lot of it, and they bond. He'll cook warm meals and they'll watch movies together. They also make sure to visit Malleus often so that he isn't lonely.

Third Years

Trey Clover: The bakery is busy this time of year, so he's mostly occupied with that. He's baking, running the store, making deliveries, and keeping up with orders. There's very little free time, but the time he does have is spent with his siblings. They play in the snow together, watch movies, and drink warm cocoa by the fire. His parents will also join in if they have the time, which is even less common than him.

Cater Diamond: He's keeping up with all of the winter trends of course. He's taking selfies in the snow, reviewing all of the winter exclusive products available, and blasting classic winter music. He loves this time of year because of how festive and fun it is, but it also drains him very quickly on the inside, so the seasonal depression hits quick as well. He won't let it show though, at least until he's alone.

Leona Kingscholar: He does not care. The only difference is that winter is cold which makes him more tired than usual, but that's it. He might stay inside more to avoid the snow, but when you live in a castle, there's plenty to do inside as well, so he's fine. Cheka might force him outside, but he's not enjoying it at all. The snow bothers him and so do the festivities.

Vil Schoenheit: Most likely, he's working on a winter-themed project. A movie, play, photoshoot, something along those lines. It's tiring work, as per usual, but it's what he's required to do, so he does it. What he would like to be doing is relaxing, however. He actually quite enjoys the wintertime, so it'd be nice to spend it alone and without stress. If he could, he would relax at home, maybe even with his dad if he were free. They could finally spend time together and just be normal.

Rook Hunt: He's spending time with his family. It's so rare for all of them to get together, so it's nice to be able to see everyone at once like this. They are also a very competitive family, so many days are spent playing games and having fun competitions amongst one another. Board games, games in the snow, or just random games made up on the spot. It's fun for everyone.

Idia Shroud: He is, as expected, by himself playing games. He may go back to S.T.Y.X. if his parents request it, but he's not leaving his room. In his own way, he is being festive. He's playing winter-themed games, watching anime that takes place in the winter, etc. etc., but that's as far as he'll go. He's not the most fond of the winter festivities because that's normie behavior, but he might be convinced by Ortho to come outside and be festive at least once, as a treat.

Malleus Draconia: Usually, he's alone. Winter can be a lonely time for those without family. However, this year, he does have a family. He has Lilia and Silver, and Sebek too. They all make sure to visit him whenever possible, even if they can't be with him all the time during winter. After all, they do get their time off, so they're allowed time to themselves. However, they still visit him, and that makes him happy. He also spends time with his grandmother when she is available. Still, for a good majority, he finds himself alone, wandering the halls as usual. Sad.

Lilia Vanrouge: He's spending time with Silver at home, mostly. He makes an effort to visit Malleus when possible, but he's mostly relaxing on his own. He and Silver have fun bonding together, something they don't get to do often. He also makes sure to see Sebek and his family too. He tries to cook some hot meals for Silver, but Silver will not let him in the kitchen, so he's upset, but he's still having fun with his time off.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland headcanons #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #ace trappola #deuce spade #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver twst #sebek zigvolt #headcanons #scenarios #imagines

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Hey, could you do a rottmnt boys with a dragon yokai S/O who's roughly 8' foot, really tough scales, and is a bit of an older sister/mom friend.

Thanks, I love everything you do ❤️💙💜🧡

Thank you for the kind words :)

I've already done 2012 Leo with a dragon Reader, check it out if you want!

Raph, Leo, Donnie and Mikey x dragon yokai Reader

Raph

★ Canonically Raph is six feet tall, so you are taller than him by two feet. The hight difference between the two of you makes him blush. He's not used to being around someone who is taller than him.

★ He's always had to be the responsible one in his family so giving someone to share that burden is a godsend. The first time you showed concern over him getting hurt he froze up because he didn't know what to do.

★ Don't even get me started on when you clean up after him. He feels really bad about making a mess but with his size it is unavoidable, it's something that you both know well.

★ I like the trope of dragons hoarding treasure but imagen your "treasure" being stuffed animals. Hear me out. Just think about him walking into your home expecting it to be full of treasure. Only to see a literal mountain of stuffies in front of him. He'd be smitten.

★ Mom friend head cannons! (Might have repeated some stuff)

Leo

★ Lord knows that this guy needs a mom friend to keep him in line. Remember the episode where he continuesly eats poison? When you found out you dragged him to his room by the tails of his mask and lectured him for about a hour.

★ He's a little scared of you, not gunna lie. Leo would never admit it though. If anyone in his family found out they all would start threatening to invite you over when he's back on his bullshit.

★ He pushes every button you have but it's worth it because he would give up anything for you. And you would do the same. The things you put up with in the name of love....

Donnie

★ At first he hated it when you motherd him. He doesn't need to be babied! Honestly he only hates it because it's a blow to his bad boy image. Later when you start to date he can't get enough, just as long as his family isn't in the room.

★ He has a bad boy image to maintain, so don't try to dote on him in public. If you do you will get a death glare because he can't bring himself to push you away.

★ Similar to 2012 Leo you gotta hide your mystical valuables from him. But unlike Leo's 2012 counterpart he doesn't want to give them back two there original owner. He wants to study any/all mystical items you have.

Mikey

★ Big lady! Please carry him when he doesn't want to get up. The only person who has been able to carry him in the past 5 years is Raphael. He does the grabby hands thing and everything to try and get you to pick him up.

★ The size difference between the two of you is great because you always end up being big spoon while cuddling. This includes making massive pillow forts in the lair to binge watch shows and have lazy days in.

★ He practices drawing dragons in a traditional Japanese art style (also known as ryu or tatsu). Your figure is really unique and it inspires him to draw more inhuman characters.

★ Although he loves it when you pick him up, it can be very scary when you fly high up with him. It takes him awhile to warm up to it, pretty funny considering his future self floats. (that's basically flying, right?)

#rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #rise mikey #rise raph #rise leo #rise donnie #michelangelo headcanon #michelangelo x reader #raphael headcannons #raphael x reader #leonardo headcanons #leonardo x reader #donatello headcanons #donatello x reader #rottmnt imagines #rottmnt donatello

[gamebunny-advance]

Let's Just Rip Off This Band-Aid (Kliff Doll Repaint)

I still haven't finished adding the fringe to his scarf, but at this point, I don't think y'all will actually care that much. It's a personal project anyway, so I'll just finish it on my own time. Right now, I want to be released from the shackles of this project.

Once again, my poor camera and lack of editing do him no favors (he's got a real bad case of jaundice in that first pic. I PROMISE he's not that yellow-orange IRL ;o;), but he is (mostly) done.

Well, he was (mostly) done like a week ago, but just yesterday I decided to redo a few things to try and "fix" what was really bothering me about him, so I really made recursive progress. That said, I do like him more now than I did a week ago, so I'm not mad about it.

A little backstory: Alongside Kun3h0, I've been working on him for the past month, so I've been pretty occupied with this project for a while. Now, I do wonder to myself why exactly I thought making this would be a good idea. All I can really say is that my impulsive tendencies drive me to do things against my better judgement.

But, I will still give y'all my documentation and thoughts on the process + more pictures.

(I'll talk a little more about it later, but for those of you that aren't going to go through the long-ass readmore, the Neon J. mask is a reference to an old comic I drew.)

(It's so old, I was still writing everything by hand~)

So, the "real" answer to "why" I made this is really as simple as "because I could." As I said in the Kun3h0 post, I've been wanting to repaint dolls for a long time, years even, so in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of ways I could finally start one.

Well, recently I just finally put together the ideas and motivation I needed to start. And of course, that was with Kliff.

I don't remember *exactly* how I stumbled across everything, but I do recall looking at doll clothes online and stumbling across this trench coat (pictured with the other clothes for this project).

(I took this pic mostly because I thought I was going to take pics of every major step of the process, but that didn't end up happening).

I thought it was pretty darn close to Kliff's coat, and I got the horrible idea that, "I could def make a Kliff doll to go with this coat as long as I can repaint it."

I feel like usually people would think the other way around, but that is basically the truth of this project: I didn't find clothes to fit the doll, I made the doll to fit into the clothes. Because for me, customizing the doll wasn't really the intimidating part: it's making the clothes. I don't know how to use a sewing machine, and currently lack the patience to learn (and due to some personal trauma that I don't really want to get into), but I can hand-sew, so starting any project that involves it requires me to be willing to set aside a lot of energy for me to do it, which I don't often have.

But, if I could find ways to cut down on the sewing, then I'd be more willing to start. And somehow, I was able to find just about everything I would need for a potential Kliff doll without having to sew anything. In the end, I only sewed together one thing, and it's the one thing that isn't actually finished: the scarf.

So, I blame the trench coat for the entirety of this project: if I'd never seen it, I would have never made a Kliff doll. In fact, I got the clothes before I even had the doll.

Since I was brainstorming this project, one of the most important parts is of course the base doll, which was tricky. Male doll repaints are fairly uncommon, especially of older men, so there weren't a lot of resources or places to get inspiration for this project.

From what I found, most male (fashion) dolls were very youthful, and the ones that weren't usually took heavy modifications to achieve, which was out of the question. Kliff was supposed to be an "easy" project, so on top of not wanting to sew any clothes for him, I also didn't want to have to alter the doll that much to make it look like him. This was a lot to ask for without putting in any personal work, but in a way, this goal was supposed to keep me from actually starting this project: really this whole thing was supposed to just live in my head as a fantasy as most things do, but then I just stumbled into the right set of things, so I couldn't stop myself from going through with it.

The doll I landed on was a BTS Mattel doll. Now I've said before that I know basically nothing about BTS, and that is still true, but that's beside the point. In my research for finding a suitable doll to work with, I found out that a popular base were these BTS dolls. At first, I wasn't into it because I was still running into the "youthful face" problem that I was with other brands: most of them had pillowy lips and nice soft faces, but I did eventually find one that I thought was close enough: J-Hope.

(It's not the worst match up.)

I don't have pics of my doll before I started working on him, but it was pretty close to the stock photo. He has much thinner lips than the others, and a taller, more angular head shape that I thought would work best for Kliff. I did worry a bit that the nose wasn't "strong" enough to really be Kliff (and IMO, it wasn't XP), but it was the closest I found yet, so I decided to bite the bullet and get one, and if I had one, that meant I needed to start gathering everything I would need for this project.

So, no backing out now.

Now, actually acquiring this doll was a whole other song and dance, but here's the part that's important for how the process went:

Due to a miscommunication with the seller I eventually got him from, there was a delay with shipping, so I didn't actually get him until weeks after "officially" starting this project. In the meantime, the clothes and things for Kun3h0 (who I started as an impulse project within the impulse project) had already been gathered.

The original plan was that I was going to work on and subsequently post about Kliff first since he was a comparatively simpler project. All the things I was avoiding for Kliff: sewing clothes and making modifications to the doll, were all going to be incorporated into Kun3h0, so she was theorhetically going to take longer and be posted later, thus telling a small story of "starting simple, ending complex." But since I didn't have his doll, but didn't want to delay working on Kun3h0 just to wait on him, I started on her and repainting his clothes anyway.

So, I don't have any pics of the doll or his clothes from when I was working on them, unlike the sparse ones I had for Kun3h0, I only have pics from after he was finished.

But I'll still tell y'all what I can to at least preserve the story.

For starters, repainting this coat was probably the most time-consuming part of this process.

I really thought that it would take one or two days maximum to turn this coat bright yellow, but I think it actually took over a week. And I really should have known; the coat was a medium tone, and I know that yellow takes a while to build up on anything that isn't light. I lost count at some point, but I swear that thing has over 20 coats of paint on it. Mind you, the first 10 or so coats were watered down with the textile medium, which also contributed to how long it was taking for the coat to take color, but at some point I just got so frustrated that I stopped mixing in the medium and painting directly onto the coat to get the color to layer faster. This is a huge no-no for painting acrylics onto fabric, lest the paint crack from creasing the fabric, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I needed this thing to be dandelion yellow NOW or I was gonna lose it.

There were consequences for taking that shortcut, such as the paint cracking in high motion areas and the coat getting stiff, but it's not terrible. In the end, I accepted the trade-offs or else I might still be painting the coat. Perhaps one day I'll reverse engineer the pattern for the coat and make him a new one, but I wouldn't count on it. In retrospect, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had thought to bleach the coat first?

As you might notice, I contoured/shaded part of the coat in orange. That's something that I actually *just* added yesterday and added another couple of hours to the work time. It was just bothering me that the doll was essentially a giant slab of yellow, and was part of the reason I didn't like it very much. But I got inspired by this repaint to try contouring the coat to give it more depth.

(I also used this person's videos to modify the hands. He has one deidcated to just reshaping the BTS hands.)

In the end, I'm pretty happy with the results.

The rest of the clothes weren't as difficult to deal with.

The pants took the paint a lot better, likely due to being dark paint on a light surface. Since I used less paint, it's not as stiff as the coat and still go on very easily. Though, they are VERY high waisted, and I'm not sure if that's normal XP

The shoes are also painted (and slightly modified), though I had to paint them twice because the first time, the paint got stretched off when I tried to put them on the doll's feet: the shoes were just *slightly* too small for the feet of the doll, so they really get stretched to fit his feet, and his heels don't actually go in all the way XP.

He's still capable of standing on his own, but I try not to remove the shoes, so I can avoid having them crack again.

In my "initial clothes" pic, I put down a different shirt than the one he's wearing. The original plan was to repaint the shirt black, but my work space is very limited, so I couldn't really repaint three pieces of clothes at once without significantly risking that I would stain other things. In the end, after getting scarred by how long it was taking for the coat to take color, I decided to just give him one of the black shirts that came with the coat. This does make him somewhat inaccurate since the current shirt has flowers/plants on it, but I'm gonna say that they make up for the lack of flowers on his scarf. Maybe someday I'll make him a new shirt from an old sock or something, but for now, I don't think it's a bad look.

Other clothing of note is the scarf, but since it's not technically finished I didn't take any close pics of it. It's actually made of an old headband of mine that I just cut and painted to look like his scarf.

Originally, I had actually glued on ribbon to it for the stripes, which took a couple days for the drying, but because I couldn't flatten out the scarf to easily glue the ribbon, it turned into a mess and bulked it out too much: since the scale of the doll is already small, I really needed to keep the fabrics thin. This was especially important for the scarf since it was going to wrap around his neck: if it were any thicker, it was going to practically eat up his face, which it still does, just less so.

Speaking of face...

When I finally got the doll in the mail, I started working on him right away, so I don't have any "before" pics of the doll.

After I did the usual "wiping off the face and pulling out his hair," I started with repainting the entire body and head.

Despite Kliff being ambigously "WHITE 🫵," Kliff isn't as pale as the original doll. I'd say even the stock picture I posted above has more warmth than the actual doll did. So, I got the base to be "coral" all over, dusted him in light orange chalk pastels for contouring, and most of his details are outlined in shades of burgandy. I didn't take any nude pics of this doll, but he is countoured all over his body and you can rest easy knowing I gave him some nips XP. But maybe someday I'll show y'all doll!Kliff's washboard abs XP.

TBH, I did want to detail some tattoos and some body hair too, but I just didn't trust myself to do either of those well with the tools I have (my brushes aren't thin enough, and my hand not steady enough for those kind of intricate details). Maybe someday I'll at least get his tattoos in (and after I've actually designed them XP), but we'll see. I don't plan on having the doll in short sleeved clothes very often, so details like that are the least of my concerns.

TBH, I was pretty proud of how the face paint originally went on. I really took my time to make sure it went down flat. It really was beautifully smooth~

But disaster struck.

I had painted the head while it was still separated from the body, and when it finally came time to reunite them, the paint on the head cracked and peeled when I shoved it back on. And, foolish fool that I am, instead of accepting my losses and starting over from a perfectly clean head, I just peeled the lose ends and repainted the exposed parts, which of course made the paint uneven. I somewhat justified this with the idea that most of it would be covered by other details, but in retrospect, I really should have just started over properly.

But, after that ordeal was over with, it was time to actually work on the face.

I can't clearly remember if I worked on Kun3h0 or Kliff's face first. I think I worked on them simultaneously because it took me a LONG time to actually get the courage to work on Kun3h0's face.

I thought I did a decent job on Kun3h0 since I really only had the 1 eye to repaint (the hidden eye is painted, but it's basically just a void with no details), and it was a bigger "canvas", so it was easier to paint. Besides having 2 eyes that I would need to make nearly identical, they were also a lot smaller, so it took a lot longer to paint them in a way that satisfied me (and since it's not easy to "redo" acrylic paint, his eyes lost a lot of smoothness too).

Again, I don't have any "before" pics, so it won't be easy for me to convey my troubles about it, but I do want to say that I think Kliff with a closed mouth is very cursed.

:I

He just looks like he's itching to say something heinous and that is no different for the doll.

It was so difficult for me both match his expression on a face that wasn't *completely* his and still look like him. Although I chose this doll because he most resembled Kliff, he was never gonna be a perfect likeness of him, but despite knowing this, it still bothered me that the face was still just very "young" looking.

Granted, I don't think the original Kliff looks *that* old either (if I didn't know any better, I would assume he was in his 30s, not his 50s, especially compared to other characters around the same age), but still not as *smooth* as the doll is (even with my paint mishaps).

If you can believe it, the face actually used be worse. I don't have pics of it, but like the coat, I actually repainted his face yesterday to again try and fix what was making me dislike it before. I think the problem is that I didn't outline the eyes as much as the final one (like, I don't think I lined his undereye at all), so he was lacking depth. The mouth was also a little more off. Instead of being like "<--->" it was more like "|-|"

(A rough illustration of what I'm trying to describe.)

So, while it's still not perfect, I do like him more today than I did a week ago.

I think the only things left to talk about are his accessories, starting with his wig:

I'm not actually a big fan of the color. When I started this project, I wanted to try and make him as accurate as possible, and the original Kliff design has a very "cherry jolly rancher" hair color.

However, how I draw him and how he appears in Encore Edition gives his hair a more red-orange tone which isn't as intense. In the end, I opted for accuracy towards his first design since that's the one I was technically most familiar with and wanted to replicate, but in retrospect, I should have realized that I was never gonna be able to seperate my personal quirks from this personal project, so I should have gone with a color that was more accurate to how I interpret him. (I dunno if I would have gone as far as to give him triangular eyes, but one of my biggest takeaways from this project has been that I should have just allowed this to be "my take" on the character instead of trying to be "accurate," meeting in the middle, and satisfying neither condition.)

I don't think I really got across how much I HATED brushing out yarn for the wigs when I posted Kun3h0. It was just such a tedidus process, from brushing it out, to straightening it, to gluing it down. It was such a mess. I'm still finding loose wisps of yarn hair floating around my home since I made them.

Since I had more than had my fill from making Kun3h0's wig, I once again started taking shortcuts when it came to Kliff: I really should have made more wefts for him. I figured since his hair was (compartively) shorter, that I wouldn't need to make as many, but in the end his wig turned out both too thin and too thick.

Since his hair is so messy, I didn't follow any kind of guide for his hair like I did Kun3h0. I basically just glued around the perimeter of the cap, horizontally on the inside, and made sure it would fold over in the front.

Part of the problem is that I made the wefts too thick: instead of just gluing down what could actually touch the surface of the work area, I wound up gluing layers on top of each other, so the wefts would be like a mm thick when they should have been less than half of that. So, I barely got enough coverage for the scalp, and the parts that I did get down are very thick. I think it makes his head look bigger than it should which kinda adds to the uncanniness of him.

I did try to style it as close to canon as possible, but there are some things that just aren't (easily) possible in certain mediums, and Kliff's wild hair is one of them.

In retrospect, I probably should have just sculpted his hair with clay or something: it probably would have been more accurate, but I don't have much confidence in my sculpting ability, and again, I didn't want to modify the doll that much, so I stuck with the yarn.

I might suck it up and try and make him a new wig, I still have a LOT of red yarn left over, so maybe I can make him some new styles too. But the tedium of going through with it makes it very unlikely that I'll follow through~

(The wig from other angles.)

Since the beard is made from the same yarn, I'll lightly talk about that. There aren't too many resources about bearded dolls, but I've seen people root it, glue it, and even just paint it if they weren't supposed to be thick. In the end I used this repaint for reference (suggestive content warning) and glued it on.

The scarf covers most of it, but I think it turned out okay. I need to add just a *little* more to his left cheek, but otherwise I feel like I was successful.

Next, it's usually hidden due to all the crap that's on his head, but I did give him an earring.

I didn't think about it until way too late in the process, and I tried to poke a hole through his ear so he could actually wear it. However, when I tried to do so, I almost ruined his head paint a second time. Saying, "fuck that," I decided to just glue it on.

If I had been more brave with modifying this doll, I might have just resculpted his ears entirely, because, being based on a real life human being, the doll's ears don't flare out that much, so they're easily covered by other things.

His glasses are just a piece of painted plastic that hold to his face using some plastic cord. They fit well while his wig is off, but putting them on with everything else is a goddamn nightmare.

Since his ears are so small, and his hair is so short, there's nothing for the glasses to "grab" onto without the cord, but the cord is too short to fit around the wig once it's on, but I can't make the cord longer to sit over the wig, because the glasses need to go over the headband, and it's a pain in the ass trying to layer everything like that.

So, I have to put the glasses in place first, TAPE the cord to his scalp so they don't move, put on the wig, then put on the headband. It's really such a hassle, but I don't think I can truly convey the annoyance of having to do it all without showing you. So, unless I absolutely have to, I'm never taking any of those things off him again.

I think the last things are the headband, mask, and tablet.

The headband is just a spare scrunchy that I have. I don't have one in the *exact* same color as the real one, so I went with the closest one I had, which was this teal color.

I didn't feel comfortable repainting one since it's essentially an elastic band, I don't think the paint, even with the textitle medium, would be able to hold up to all the stretching I have to do to even get it on his head.

If I happen to find a white one somewhere in my stash, then I might try dyeing it using water and acrylic paints to see if I can get it green, but for now, I think this works. A little thick, but it works.

The tablet is just a piece of foam painted with paint markers and the mask is a piece of cardboard. I wasn't planning on really recreating any scenes with this doll, but since I remembered that comic, and thought it would be easy enough to make, I went ahead and made it as an in-joke to myself.

Honestly, I think it's the most charming piece of the entire ensemble. Plus, he can wear it without me having undo/redo any of his other head accessories, so it's easy to make him wear it whenever.

My final comments about the doll itself are that he's fucking huge. I should have taken a pic of him next to Kun3h0, but he is too tall to even fit on my display shelf without sitting.

(Please ignore any mess you might see in the reflection. This is just one of the only flat pieces of furniture he can stand on without me standing on something to take a pic.)

Despite my interests, I don't actually collect dolls (I'm more into figures and plushies), so I wasn't expecting him to be so big. In fact, Kun3h0, who would be considered a small to medium doll in collector's spaces, was also bigger than I thought she'd be, so you can imagine my surprise when I got my hands on him.

So... I don't really know where I can put him. He obviously can't live in front of my TV, but beyond being too big for my shelf, he also doesn't fit in with any of my other collectibles. And I'll be honest, the contrast of him "clearly not belonging" among my more "kawaii" items was a motivator in starting this project, I live for the gap moe after all, but in practice he really just sticks out like a sore thumb. (This is also why his first pics are in a slightly different location without many props. I just couldn't put together anything from my collection or find a spot among my things to take a good thematic pic with. The magazines/CDs he's with are from my dad's collection.)

I do have space at higher elevations in my room, but it's kinda off putting to have him staring down my room, looking like he's plotting something (my space is too small to ignore it). So I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I did have plans to make him some... cuter outfits so he wouldn't stick out as much, but that requires sewing, and I'm kinda worn out from this project.

In conclusion, despite my troubles with this project, I'm not entirely displeased with the results. At the very least, it was an experience, and one that I might even be willing to do a third time 👀...?

But for now, I'd like to rest and maybe go back to drawing again. I feel like I haven't drawn anything "real" for a while now. We're inching closer and closer to the next follower milestone (4 digit number BA-BY!), so I'd like to at least get back to being good enough to sketch some stuff for y'all soon~

#gbunny makes #gbunny draws #custom doll #doll custom #doll repaint #kliff #nsr #no straight roads #for the record i do find this project thoroughly embarrassing for me #but i can't justify its existence without sharing it. so here it is. #like. i wish i could have been obsessed with somebody else. #anybody else. #well. someone who's socially acceptable to obsess over i guess #but i'm not. i'm obsessed with him so i'm going to make things of him #and they're gonna make me happy #despite the embarrassment #Youtube

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (27F) am still living with my parents due to financial reasons and covid pushing my college education back. I've either worked or done full time college since I was 18 and i have helped my parents out. I'm fully moving out, hopefully, this fall, but things have been sticky since.

My mother is controlling and has very little respect for my boundaries. For 13 years, she has made comments about my phone having a password she doesn't know. She regularly remarks about all the "self restraint" it takes her to not go into my room when I'm not home and reorganize my dresser and bookshelf. I feel like I can never relax because of having to justify my free time to her. I am 27 and have had fights with her over my bedtime. In the past back when I voice chatted people, she would get angry when I tried to set aside any time at home to not be interrupted. She's yelled at me when I was on mic for stuff like not opening a window, which she then did and had no reason to yell at me for except to embarrass me.

I'm Queer and my family knows but pretends I'm not in daily life, and she makes incredibly judgemental homophobic, transphobic, and sometimes racist comments when watching TV or when there's something LGBT related in the news or going around her feed, yet she thinks she isn't a bigoted person/that she's been a great parent. When I had a trans male friend over 5 years ago she launched into a tirade about fake gender and me "pulling a prank" on her and a lot of things I won't repeat but it was bad enough I haven't had a single person come by since. Any friend time is outside of the house. I keep all my friends away from her.

Thing is, she also blames me for never going outside or having her own life. She wants to rely on me or other people for everything even though she can drive. She lost an eye to cancer, something I took care of her all the way though, but she has driven, has a fake eye so no one can tell she's missing an eye, and has a special mirror on the car so she can see in her blindspot. But she won't go out alone and even before he vision loss she always wanted someone with her out of anxiety.

So all this summer she wants me to be her valet, basically, saying she'll get into the habit of going places if I go with her, but saying any "attitude" from me in the past is the reason why she stopped caring about herself or going outside.

I want to have very basic boundaries respected and have my own free time, but she keeps making her living at all on me and expecting sunshine and rainbows while being controlling and only accepting very certain reactions. Any time I try to be assertive about things like my own bedtime, she asks me why I "turn everything into a power struggle" when she's the one who starts things.

I don't want to spend time with her, even though I know she has gone though things and has lost an eye. I feel miserable, isolated, and like I can't even have resting bitch face without being accused of something. I just want her to live her own life and not need me to escort her everywhere because of her paranoia, and I'm trying to spend time away and give pushback about boundaries. AITA for trying to swerve her?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[stormblessed95]

Like Crazy: Jimin

My thoughts over Jimin's song, Like Crazy! I know I've promised this post for freaking ever, I'm sorry I'm just now getting to it! This will probably be part 1, and I'll do a post about all possible queer coding in this MV and the dance in a part 2 in answer to an ask I have waiting. Or at least, I might mention it here, but I'll go into more detail about it in the secondary post.

The MV really kicks off when this person, with a hand covered in grime, grabs Jimin and pulls him away. This person is wearing the same Jacket Jimin wears at some point and the same jacket the girl we see highlighted in the MV does too. It honestly just seems like this means that he yanks himself away and into this dream. And that the girl in the MV is used as a stand in for his own reflection.

It appears to be that he is playing off of the archetypes highlighted by Jung (who BTS have referenced before in their music) of Anima and Animus. Basically speaks to how everyone has 2 "faces" inside of you, the feminine and the masculine. This is highlighted as well with how the woman in the MV mirrors everything Jimin does. When he moves, she moves. When he turns his head, so does she. They never otherwise touch and never truly meet. And when they come face to face... the scene cuts to Jimin looking in the mirror. Leaves us to speculate that the girl is the one in the mirror. And in the end... part of her darkness becomes his own, the grime from her hand transferring onto his own.

This is compounded even more by the makeup and accessories Jimin chose to display on his own body during this MV too. Where one half has white eyeliner and an earring being more traditionally feminine presenting styles. And the other half has no eyeliner and no earring, therefore representing things as more traditionally masculine of a style. One half, he is both.

And he has done this before on many occasions, such as in BE (flower earring on one side, plain hoop on the other) and in Filter (masc snd femme words for temptation on his hands). And honestly with his recent photofolio depictions of Artemis and Apollo too. Post Here

Jimin talked about this song on his live, basically saying that it was about feeling lost. Lost in the the feeling of losing yourself honestly. Not wanting to do things, just wanting to "go crazy" and just live in your dream. Not have any worries.

He talked about living this way during the pandemic and how bad it got for him. And how it wasn't until the PTD Concerts really that he started to shake himself free of that and how good the members all were to him too. Puts an even sweeter spin on JK just coming to his hotel room constantly to just sit and check on him all the time too. Not even doing anything or needing to say anything. Just offering him his company and support. Sweet.

I talk more about that in my post over the FACE album in its whole. About how none of these are simple break up songs but about Jimins feelings of discount, dissatisfaction and depression and loss over the past few years. You can read that post here:

He mentioned in an interview how the dream he doesn't want to wake up from is BTS. And I honestly think this is fairly self explanatory. And no, it doesn't mean he didn't want to do solo work or isn't loving the freedom of doing whatever he wants in a totally solo album too. You can feel multiple things all at once. Lol BTS is his dream. The group, the fans, the music together and solo. All of it. It's something he loves. Something they all love. And cherish.

Was the movie part of his inspiration for this song? Yes. It's a movie and longing. About putting forth so much work and effort into something you desire SO MUCH and also questioning if perhaps all the pain that effort brought was worth it in the end, even when you achieved what it was you desired. The movie is left open ended on purpose too. And those feelings, they can apply to so many things. So many dreams and desires. So many types of relationships. It's a good movie too. Its free on YouTube for now, you can watch here

The movie was the inspiration behind the narration voice intro too. Which Jimin thought worked really well for the story he was crafting there too. They did a great job.

The balancing act between the feminine and the masculine is something that is portrayed within the choreo for Like Crazy too. As well as just being sexy and entrancing. Lol and we know that Jimin had a hand in requesting parts of how he wanted the choreo to go. That he had a vision and he felt that it was well executed. The idea of the women being his reflection that I mentioned above is also played out through the dance pretty clearly too.

There is so much more we could keep talking about within this song too. A whole lyric breakdown and discussion if we wanted. It's such a good and catchy song and still so emotional too. I'll do another post, under an ask I got, about more of queer coding within the video in my opinion next. Including more than just the gender portrayals I just mentioned here in this post.

Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts over Jimins genius here. 😍❤️

#Jimin FACE #Jimin Like Crazy

[one-strugling-bean]

Woy headcanons (that are mostly Hater&Peepers, sorrynotsorry)

the brainrot for this show is hitting strong once again. This is how I cope (some of them might go against canon, I'm not sure)

Wander is not the last of his kind, although it is a pretty small species in numbers. They are typically nomads and don't tend to have many children per couple, so they are hard to come by. It's probably been decades since Wander has crossed paths with another one of his species.

Speaking of which, Wander is pretty old. His species has a looooong life span and he's around middle-aged in it.

Hater is also quite old compared to most aliens from WoY's galaxy. But for his species, he's pretty young. A skeleton his age is like an older teenager, or a young adult, at most (in human years, he'd be around 19, to early twenties).

Besides Hater himself, Peepers is the only one who knows Lord Hater's real age. Mostly because no one believed him until Peepers.

His species also takes longer to emotionally mature, which explains Hater's childishness, despite how old he is.

Wander is the kind of person who grows a crush on basically everyone he meets, but would also never want to settle down with anyone romantically. "The world is too wide and there are way too many people out there to just stay with one" kind of vibes, ya know?

Sylvia and Wander work so well as companions because they're both 100% sure nothing romantic would ever happen between them. They're besties through and through

Peepers is very much gay and very much crushing on his boss. He represses the hell out of those feelings though.

For the sake of the Hater Empire, Peepers has done quite a few horrible things that Hater doesn't even dream of. And by that, I mean like, actual evil deeds: gore-y missions, downright cruel decisions, the tying of loose ends permanently. The way Peepers saw it, all those things needed to be done for the Empire to thrive, but he knew how sensitive Hater could be and they couldn't risk upsetting their leader too much. Therefore, such responsibilities naturally fell on him.

He's always hidden such matters from Hater. Most of them were in the past, before they became feared, but even to the present day there's a part of him that's really scared of Hater finding out and thinking differently of him. Especially after Wander and Sylvia came around. (He's afraid they'll see him as truly evil).

These past actions are a particularly sore subject for Peepers whenever Hater disregards and/or actively harms their empire; "After everything I've done for us-!" kind of thought

The Watchdogs don't like Peepers. Like, at all. None of them would want his job so there's never been a mutiny against him, but they make so much fun of Peepers behind his back.

Peepers is aware of this (he already wasn't popular amongst the watchdogs before Hater came around) and retaliates by being the most insufferable, hard-to-please boss the watchdogs could ever have (asides from Hater, ofc)

However, in the Watchdog Army, there is a cautionary tale about Lord Hater and making fun of Peepers: it is said that once, a few courageous watchdogs saw Hater berating Peepers, and decided to join him in on the "dunking on Peepers" jokes. Apparently, those few watchdogs went too far with their jeering and Lord Hater obliterated them for their insolence. No one knows for sure how true that tale is, but no one has ever been brave enough to put it to the test.

"Don't talk to Hater about Peepers, and don't talk to Peepers about Hater; especially if they're in a bad mood." That is one of the many secrets that has allowed the Watchdog Army to survive under those two's tutelage.

I like to picture Wander finding out about this animosity between Peepers and his army and deciding to do an intervention to solve everything. He only makes things worse. Weeks later the watchdogs are still suffering from Peepers' petty wrath

Hater is a closeted bi-disaster.

This is not a headcanon, more of an opinion, but Sylvia and Peepers' relationship is lesbian⇆gay solidarity/hostility perfection

Somewhen during the 2nd season, Sylvia and Peepers start going out for drinks whenever Hater and/or Wander do something particularly stupid. Something, something, solidarity between the two only braincells, somethi-

Sylvia quickly realizes Peepers reaaaaaally hates Wander. At first, she is honestly confused as to why. But when she figures out Peepers' crush things become much clearer.

Cant think of many more now....... Please feel free to discuss these hc or add up new ones in a reblog, it would make my dayyy

#this ended up having so much peepers #its kinda embarassing ngl #i just have a lot of feelings abt the angry eyeball man #the woy draught is hitting again and i need company here #:') #woy #savewoy #wander over yonder #woy sylvia #commander peepers #lord hater #deathglare

[scr33ch1ng]

So,

There really is nothing on system littles. And what I mean is, despite how long I've been searching I can't find much that helps us actually raise a child. System hosts will mention it, sure, or they'll have a specific alter who is great with kids. But we don't have any of that, and I bet other systems are struggling with this too. So, I'm compiling what I've learned in the past year or so and sharing it as an attempt to help.

This is written from my experiences with my little brother, a traumatized headmate around 10 years old. This might not apply to everyone.

Traumatized children require constant reassurance. They might be easily scared or startled by anything, and hold irrational beliefs that everything will hurt them (me too buddy). They can be the most vulnerable and emotional part of a system. This makes them really important, and in a unique position. They DEMAND attention. Even if they are quiet, if they are dissatisfied, it will come back and bite you in the ass. They require patience and special consideration.

You have to make your child headmate feel safe and comfortable. This is easier said than done. It's a lot more complicated than simply buying some toys and watching cartoons. Children have emotional needs, we all do. They need to feel love and feel like they are part of a family. This is why communication is very important. Communication is different with every system, and we communicate via a variety of writings, pinterest boards, dreams, co-fronting, and more direct but vague ways of throwing emotions at each other, and asking questions and receiving a vague response. This is all to say that even if you literally can't hold a conversation, there is many ways to talk to each other.

In order to meet your littles needs you have to know them first. You can assume the basics, yes, but that will only get you so far. Children also aren't known for their excellent communication skills, so this is a process. My little benefits from a pacifier, which was easy to figure out. But it took longer to realize he also wants his own clothing, and he refuses to wear black because it's a color that is worn too frequently by other alters, and he needs to feel like his own person. This might be a bit ridiculous. A color is just a color, right? No one is going to die by wearing black. But to him it is very important, and he will be distressed if he is not wearing clothes comfortable to him.

And the way our system works is it's easy to feel another alter's distress, so there is no point in wigging a systemmate out for no reason. You want to work together to reduce stress. It makes an easier time for everybody.

Anyways. You will have to make compromises. You make compromises just by being a system. I adjusted our living space to be more "child friendly". I removed the animal bones we had on display. I don't buy decor that my child alter would find scary, even if it's a horror movie character I like, even if I think it's not that bad. If you can make your little feel comfortable even by one percent, it's worth it. I adjusted our room to feel more cheerful. I have a shelf of easily accessible toys. I decorated our house more with cute things. Fridge magnets, goodwill figurines, a printed photo of a puppy, anything to make your syskid feel like this is also their space will help .

This is all I have for today. Thanks for reading!

#syskid #little alters #child alter #actually plural #dissociative identity disorder #osdid #actually dissociative #if you!! have any information or comments or anything lmk. but be normal please.

[pastafossa]

Ok. TRT business and a question, cause I need feedback from readers at this point.

First: the final chapter of the Raven What If fic should be posted this week, I'm about done editing it. The bigger, much more important question: So I have a potential chapter for tomorrow. I've been worrying and fretting over posting it, not because I think it's bad, but because it's short by TRT standards, currently around 2k words, and it both frustrates me and makes me feel weirdly guilty at the thought of dropping what's so much less than my usual. I'm used to being able to write longer chapters, being able to squeeze everything I want into them, and I have a literal outline of this goddamn chapter that has this good stuff in it and I know what needs to be written. I can see it right there. The movie is playing in my head just fine. But the truth of it is, my writing is slow at the moment thanks to post-covid brain fog. I'm checking in with my doctor, I've started taking specific supplements (which I'm hoping to see results from in the next few weeks), I'm clawing my way back bit by bit, but I continue to write slowly, mostly because I either can't focus or I have to stop every few sentences to struggle with a word I can't remember. It's incredibly frustrating. The thing is though, at least I *am* writing, which gives me hope. But this is where you - the readers - come in. Because right now we have two possible paths for updates going forward for a bit. Option 1: Longer gaps between our usual chapters. If we go this road, it'll take longer but as I chip away, I'll eventually have the full planned chapter, which I'd post. This would be a chapter closer to what we've had most weeks for the past oh god like 2 years. At current speed I'd drop it in a few weeks, and then hopefully the next one would come a little faster, until eventually we're back to our usual. So basically, you'd get your big chunks when the updates do come, and the same natural endpoints and arcs as before. Drawback is obviously the time between updates, so you won't be fed as often (though I'd try to find things in my editing folder to clean up and drop, like the Raven fic).

Option 2: Shorter chapters but more regular updates. If we go this road, we'd be back to weekly updates of our adventures with Matt and Jane. There'd just be less than usual for a bit and then, hopefully as I improve, you'll see the word count begin to climb back up. So in this case, you'd be getting a weekly dose of TRT, the usual fluff and angst and action, but the catch is less overall to read (likely individual scenes rather than multiples), and potentially sudden endpoints/more cliffhangers as I 'end' at what was outlined as a scene change.

Which way I go will mostly depend on ya'll tbh. I think I can make either work, since I've managed to start writing a little again and I really, really am hoping the supplements help. But since this'll potentially alter the update schedule we've had for years, I wanted to see which you'd prefer.

So, Option One - longer gaps but long chapters - or Option Two - shorter chapters weekly. Which would you prefer?

#the red thread #i have been so gd frustrated. like it doesn't help my meds and other illnesses ALREADY cause brain fog #now i have this shit #where i can literally see in my head what needs to happen but words no go for long time #and i've gotten so used to long TRT chapters that i've been fighting the guilt over the idea of shorter chapters #so i figured i'd check in because if ya'll are actually fine with that then i'd feel better about it #alternatively i just keep plucking away and eventually drop the full length chapter #i feel like the feedback for whichever way we go will help me settle and not feel bad about longer gaps/shorter chapters #in the meantime i'm doing what i can. following doctor's orders and taking my supplements #along with writing in little chunks and editing to see if that can help me retrain whatever's been fucked up basically #so. option 1 or option 2?

[gaypirate420]

Curiosity here: {Discussion}

If you could re-write Jasper but keep 2 things about him, what would you keep? Besides appearance and gift! How would you explore this new version of Jasper?

For me, I'd keep his army past and Alice. But I'd explore how he changes over time and comes to realize how bad being on the Confederate side & being racist is. (I think you get it I'm trying to keep this short.)

Such as what makes him change and how he copes with his new understanding, and y'know the whole process of that.

Ofc, she comes into play too, maybe she's the catalyst that gets him to thinkin' about the topic at the surface, but it eventually goes deeper as she overtime explains things to him, and he thinks further on his own. IDK BRO I'm just thinking and wanted to read what you'd do. {Have a discussion.}

I'd change him shacking up w/ the Cullens though...or maybe their relationships with each other. I'd love to explore everything basically around canon while still being divergent to an extent. (Canon Related?)

He'd be the main character, but I think you already knew that if you read or at least skimmed this. But I have a terrible fear of people misunderstanding me. (⊙﹏⊙)

But yeah, I was just curious! I know a lot of people have done all sorts of things with him in Fics regarding his past and such, but I do always enjoy reading your responses to things.

This is just a purely hypothetical discussion. {If this was ever made that would be ambitious as hell cause like mf is like... 150 years old!}

I don't even want to think about all that time, and they never sleep either so like holy hell. So many moments of introspection and guilt and etc. to write I'd have a mental collapse. {But that's me when I write anything but also editing sucks ass.}

But not to mention ofc the huge amounts of research everything would take, and I am a huge perfectionist.

-Sincerely a mutual who tried to ask a few questions then freaked out over my own questions.

I'm making this anon now because I fear this ask now.

I think we have the same idea dear mutual!

(this is so fucking long omg I went off the rails, let me know what y'all think.)

I wouldn't rewrite anything, I'll just play it differently, I'll give it a nice depth.

I've always been on the side that just rewrite or ignore Jasper's confederate past is- not ideal. Yeah it's okay for a silly little comfort fic with your favorite vampire but not when talking about his actual canon characterization.

I would keep him serving for the Confederate army. I know a lot of people don't like that about him, but, I think it's a huge part of his character but there was something lacking there.

And what was missing is guilt.

Jasper, as to how he is written, and how we see the scenes of his past are played on both the book and the movie makes him look like he wasn't ashamed of his racist past or that he was even still prideful for it.

And it's so weird for me, how could this man who spent a century long depression, a self described "monster" a "nightmare" that just floods with self loathing couldn't feel guilty for not only taking someone's life but their freedom?

How could he feel guilty over killing the newborns but not black people? It doesn't make sense and it makes it worse, it makes you think that he, in modern times, it's still a confederate and also because vampires are "mentally frozen." He's not changed that much really then.

(I think Jasper lacking guilt and remorse about these fact about him is because of SM and her own views she not so subtlety spread all over her books though.)

So yes, I am keeping him as an ex-confederate soldier. Jasper was 17 so we are just to assume he was ignorant, and that's okay, we can live with an ignorant white boy for now. I cannot stress enough about how there is no need to make mental flips and splits to justify this choice of thinking in a 17 y/o southern boy from the 1840's. But, he gets to change, he, after the first years of him killing the newborns reflects about this, he might not be completely educated but he has the spirit.

Now let's talk about Alice.

I love her, but, if we are really analysing this then her and therefore the rest of the Cullens (because they welcome her and Jasper on their family) are okay with Jasper serving for the confederacy and I don't like that.

Why did Alice make him feel hope and all this shit and get him to change and learn a new life but didn't make him reflect on that maybe, perhaps, fighting for the enslavement of an entire race wasn't a good thing to do.

She says "you'll never be that again." referring to him being a vampire killing machine, not a racist, may I remind y'all.

So, I think the change would be about Alice teaching him things, Jasper spent so much time with Maria and then he was seriously depressed, I get the idea he wasn't interested on- going outside besides to feed from humans.

I think there are two types of vampires, those who love seeing humanity grow and change and come up with all these little inventions and then the ones who just see humans as prey.

Alice being the first and Jasper the second, but not for long after he meets her.

I think Alice could update him about the modern world that was the 50's, she would educate her that yes, Jasper's gentlemanly ways are charming and make her blush and giggle but there are some comments that aren't okay, just because in "his time" it was "okay", "funny" or "right", to say these things doesn't make them less offensive, dismissive and hurtful.

Alice would ask Jasper what did he felt while serving? And why? Was he even fully aware of what he was fighting for? Did the years of him seeing countless human's fight and go to wars that got bloodier and more destructive made him stop and think about the damage of his own army career?

Make the man reflect. Make him think for days and days about these questions he asked himself but never truly took the time to answer them. I need Jasper to have a slight mental breakdown before he gets to know the more peaceful life with the Cullens and Alice.

Alice asked these questions in her endless curiosity, not in innocence, but rather to know Jasper, really know him and understand him.

I want him to feel disgusted about having to feed from humans now that he realizes how much harm he did, and that's were the Cullens come in, Alice knows about her new family of course and it's more than excited to know her mate wants this life too, not because oh he's so in love with her he'll do anything (he is) but because he wants to change.

Carlisle let's him stay because he knows this, he understands in a way and he can't help but sympathize with him and Alice wanting to change herself and help her partner.

But Jasper can't fully because his body is asking him to kill constantly. He doesn't want to keep harming people, but his body can't forget, not only his body it's scarred as a reminder, but there's this annoying bloodlust that doesn't want to go away just yet.

But he has Alice, holding his hand and make him feel like everything will be alright.

Jasper is struggling but he is changing, he is getting more and more mental peace, finally, after a century and a half. It's slow, it's painful but it's there, self forgiveness and change.

One of the things that I love, a concept, Jasper being into philosophy, history and just literature, him loving to learn.

I love that in Breaking Dawn Jasper wanted to help Bella with her thirst. And of course I love him being hurt when she's way more successful than he is after so many years.

Seeing someone who you share the same experiences is so amazing, it helps you, but seeing them overcome this challenges that you also endure it brings you down on such a horrible way, it hurts you, but it makes you think of who you were before and how much you have accomplished. How much you've changed and that's my take on Jasper Hale.

I am not normal about him.

Also, I think I would change vampires not being able to sleep or cry, I think Jasper deserves both, as a treat :). I love him.

#i could go on #but I won't because I think I got the right thing #jasper whitlock x reader #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock hale #jasper whitlock #jasper hale #the twilight saga #twilight headcanon #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #effervescent

[kyojurismo]

hi could i sumbit an emergency rq?

i've been struggling w/ my home situation on and off for a few years, and now it's been going on again for a few months and feel like i can't do shit right lol (nothing too bad luckily!! but its draining ... ig)

could u please write smth abt the reader meeting douma and them going away w him?

whisk me awaay douma!! lmao

pls give other emergency requests priority if u so wish! i'm alrdy happy w looking forward to smth heh 💞

# douma (upper tank two)

tags : gn!reader, douma not eating a human 🫢, he’s sweet alright, lemme know if i missed something, not proofread as always.

a/n : hello anon! i genuinely like this req hehe ^_^ i know it’s short ( and it prob doesn’t make any sense and it’s pure shit ) but i hope you’ll enjoy it anyway <3

it was rare for douma to wander around too much

but he got bored so there he was

you were running into the woods that night, before bumping into something

“oh dear, are you alright?” the moment you met his face you noticed the way he was grinning at you, his fangs on full display. his eyes looked strange, but you like how colourful they were. of course you didn’t know about demons hehe

“do you know how to speak?” douma tilted his head to the side, looking at you with pity. “yes, sir…”

the tone of your voice was soothing

“tell me, where are you going all alone in the night?”

you explained why you were running and all, douma seemed to genuinely care about your situation and proposed to come with him at the paradise cult

lowkey would have done so anyway, lol

like not kidnapping but probably gaslighting you into believing it was best for you and what you really wanted

anyway .

douma told you everything about him and his cult, but didn’t mention him being a demon

[ manga readers — me — be shaking rn ]

he promised to protect you

to provide for your every need

basically to take care of you

OH! he spoiled you, of course

you were his darling

he spent 24/7 with you

literally dragged about how he saved you from your past life to his disciples

he was very proud of it ngl

he would fall in love with you at some point but never realise it lol

but i believe he would genuinely care for you and would never think about harming you or anything

you eventually found out he’s a demon, but he never confessed what was on his diet [ women ], he just said “i don’t eat the same food as you,” smirk smirk

we don’t care alright, it was his business so we’re gonna ignore everything about it

reblogs & comments are super appreciated! thank you for taking your time reading it, i hope you enjoyed it. have a good day / night <3

#📂 — writing !! #douma x reader #douma x you #douma x y/n #douma drabble #douma blurb #douma imagine #douma one shot #douma fanfic #kny douma #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #demon slayer #demon slayer fanfic