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#he's used to handling long objects
chasingpegasus · 2 years
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sn0wbat · 5 months
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well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s
EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!
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BONUS:
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skeletalheartattack · 2 months
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i love your art style so much, it's rad as hell. how long have you been drawing? :o
you mean the goofy little sketches i do from time to time? if so, that's really kind of you to say!!! that said, i wouldn't necessarily say they're the peak of my drawing abilities though, since i just draw with a mouse.
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i use to draw a lot when i was growing up, though after getting Gmod for the first time, and subsequently SFM, i moved over into those programs to make my art, and kinda stopped drawing from that point.
i don't normally draw a whole lot these days, but when it comes to how i draw the stuff above, really i just find the messiness of using a mouse to draw really goofy, that and it's kinda nice to draw stuff without it needing to be perfect. it's just silly lines.
but regardless, thank you for the kind words, im glad you like my silly stuff
#ask#now if you meant the sketch of Boe that i use for my icon and a few other goofy posts i made? that was drawn by my friend Kikkini#(Kikkinimomini on Twitter)#i think he has a tumblr account too but i don't remember his handle offhand...#that sketch of Boe was one of the first ones he sent me. regarding a skeleton OC.#i really feel he struck a really good balance between ominous and kinda goofy with the sketch#that and the inclusion of the mohawk being pink really sold it for me#i would like to try and create how i actually imagine Boes world in Limbo and Hell some day#which. is very similar to Gorillaz' Phase 2 era and old ''find the hidden object games'' like Mystery Case Files Ravenhearst#in which its just like. full of junk and polution and whatnot#though with Limbo specifically. i imagine blue/purple clouded night skies over roaming empty grassy fields with nothing in the horizon#and Boes house being in the center of it all. with a long empty road in front of it#i think of Boes house as like. similar to the Ravenhearst manor or the iSpy spooky mansion#old fashioned house with a lot of junk inside#i also kinda think about Pajama Sam's colour palette in the land of darkness a lot regarding limbo and hell#the purples and dark blues of the night sky. the reds and oranges of the lava caves.#id kinda want to make what i imagine in the Source engine. but i already have trouble starting stuff in Hammer as it is#maybe some day i'll commit to it and design what i want. but ough.....#anyway thank you for the kind words anon!!!
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mirohlayo · 2 months
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LIP BALM
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( Lando notices that your lips are chapped, so he fixes that. )
warning : none, just pure fluff, all fluffy
note : i'm in love with this one cuz my lips are always chapped
word count : 927
You finish spreading the cream on your face, before closing the lid on the already half-finished pot. The tap water flows as you lather a bar of sweet-smelling soap in your hands.
You hear the door to your apartment close with a loud thud, indicating that your boyfriend has returned from his round of golf with a few of his close friends. A faint smile appears on your face when you hear Lando call you in a soft voice.
"Baby, I'm back. Where are you?" He asks you in a calm manner and his footsteps seem to trace every inch of your living room. You let out a small laugh, knowing full well that Lando can't wait to see and kiss his girlfriend. “In the bathroom” You reply simply.
And not a second later, the door suddenly opens to reveal your boyfriend all smiles, his eyes admiring you with tenderness and affection. He can't help but giggle when he sees his pretty girl, just like you can't hide your gaping, silly smile. He then leaves the door handle to approach you.
His arms come delicately around your waist, as he squeezes it gently. He lets himself be transported by the softness and graceful beauty of your face, his look as loving as ever. “You're beautiful baby” He said in a low voice to address this compliment to you and only you.
Your cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink, your smile growing bigger, as his eyes slowly drift to your lips. You thought he was going to kiss you, like he does every time he comes back from a long day, but when he stops on your lips, it's his eyebrows that furrow.
You're confused for a little while. “Your lips are chapped, princess” He remarks, while naturally running his thumb over the bottom of your lip. "I know. I always have chapped lips, I hate it" You answer in such a way that Lando can effortlessly guess that you're used to having this dead skin on your lips.
His hands come to rest on your hips, as he presses a light kiss to your temple. His arms tighten the grip he has around you, pulling your body closer to his. “Wait, I'll fix that” You say suddenly, pulling back to get out of his grip, but his arms hold you so tightly that he comes to trap you in his embrace again.
You smile shyly at the action, and then you try as best you can to open the small drawer under the sink. After reaching there, your eyes finally fall on the little blue lip balm placed at the bottom of the drawer, hidden between several other skin products. You grab it quickly and close the drawer with your elbow.
Lando examines the small blue object between your fingers, understanding that it is indeed a lip balm. You then remove the cap from the tube to apply the product to your lips, but a hand grabs the object before you can bring it to your lips.
"Let me do it for you, sweetheart.” Your boyfriend delicately holds the tube in his hands, and you let yourself do so since you know that he will never give up applying balm to your lips. With his fingers, he carefully lifts your chin so that your head is higher, and accompanied by soft and careful gestures, he applies a generous layer of balm to your pink lips.
His eyebrows furrow slightly and his lips purse, signs that he is focused on his task. You can't help but admire his beautiful blue eyes, his shiny curly hair, the beauty spots on his tanned skin. He is just sublime.
He continues to apply product to you, then he stands up and stops the contact of the balm on your lips by putting the cap back on the tube. "All done. Much better." He smiled to himself, proud of himself. You rub your lips together to disperse the balm evenly.
“Thank you, Lan” You tell him simply. Then, the corner of his lips stretches to form a smirk. “Wait, I have chapped lips too” He announces while looking at you mischievously. Your eyes drift to his lips as you try to grab the lip balm from his hand. “I’ll put some on you too then” You offer.
“I have a better idea than that, princess” And without further ado, he presses his lips against yours. His hands come to caress your hips with their thumbs, while his arms close to bring you closer to him. He delicately and tenderly moves his lips on yours, in order to spread the balm of your lips on his. He is careful with his gestures, there is simply love and affection escaping from this kiss.
Then he pulls back, pleasantly surprised and above all amused to see your face so red and embarrassed. He smiled shyly, his cheeks also taking on a rosy tint. He rubs his lips together, reveling in the neutral scent of the balm. “I think our lips are hydrated enough as it is” You finally say shyly.
“I don’t think so, baby.” His lips come to rest on yours again in a quick kiss. “I think I love it when your lips are chapped.” He places another light kiss. "I just want to kiss them. I want to kiss you."
And with those words, he ends up pulling you into another deep and passionate kiss, which ends with a cuddle session under the covers of your bed.
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daycourtofficial · 5 months
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A Bite Sized Romance
Summary: you offer to make dinner for Azriel, but he gives you half-assed reasons as to why he can’t make it.
Author’s note: I love love love this idea it’s been floating around my head for a LONG time 💕
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“Have you ever had ratatouille?” You ask Azriel, taking a bite of the dish in front of you.
Every Thursday, you and the shadowsinger go out to a different restaurant, usually in Velaris, occasionally in other courts. Seeing the shadowsinger could be difficult during the week, especially with your busy schedule, so you two set aside Thursday nights to eating dinner together.
Your brain had a hard time understanding that these were not necessarily dates, even though that is exactly what Cassian, Mor, the whole IC, and even Azriel and yourself call them.
“No, what’s rat patootie?” He says, taking a bite of his pasta.
“Ratatouille,” you correct, sighing wistfully, “it’s a traditional dish my mom used to make when I was a kid. I don’t think annyone in Velaris makes it. This dish kind of reminds me of it, but it’s not the same.”
You sit up, a smile stretching across your face. “Maybe next Thursday I’ll cook it for us. It’s so much better homemade - what do you say?”
He stills at your words, almost choking on his food. Through coughs he tells you, “surely there’s somewhere we can go for it, I wouldn’t want to trouble you with cooking.”
“But I like cooking,” you object. “And despite the copious amounts of meals we’ve shared together, I don’t think I’ve ever cooked for you.”
He doesn’t want to budge, so you pull out the big guns.
You pout your lip, making your eyes look as sad and endearing as possible, “please, Az? It reminds me of being a kid again. And I’d love to share that with you.”
Mother forsake him, he couldn’t say no to your sad, puppy dog eyes.
“Fine,” he grumbles, sure he’ll figure a way out of it before Thursday comes. Perhaps he could find a way to get impaled.
You squeal, “oooh you’re going to love it!”
-
Thursday was fast approaching, and Azriel was trying to use every excuse in the book to keep this dinner from happening. He told you Rhys had to send him on a mission that night, which you immediately turned around and went to Rhys’s office and asked him to send someone else.
Rhys, having no idea what you were talking about, sees Azriel in the doorway who tells him mind to mind, “come on, say you have to send me.”
Rhys sends the equivalent of a smirk to Azriel mentally and tells you, “my mistake, I didn’t realize what day I was telling him to leave.”
Azriel stood in the doorway and gave his brother the finger from behind you.
Azriel made excuses, all ranging from Cassian needing help with training, Feyre needing an escort to the Hewn City, even to Mor needing help with the upkeep of the horses in the guard. Every excuse was denied by his so-called family, not allowing him to use them as scapegoats. It was starting to make you suspicious.
Thursday morning after Azriel’s last ditch attempt to get out of the dinner, involving some excuse about Eris needing rescuing, you sigh, exasperated.
“Okay Az, it was just an idea. Clearly you don’t want to do it, so just.. don’t bother, okay? Go save Eris from whatever it is that’s attacking him.”
You turn, wanting to leave the kitchen before Azriel sees how much this actually upsets you. “That’s not-“ he starts, trying to grab you as you pass him, but you wriggle from his grasp, disappearing into the hallway up to your bedroom.
Az was sitting on the kitchen counter, wallowing in self-pity over how poorly he handled that situation, when Cassian walked in.
“And what do you have to be so upset about, pretty boy?”
Azriel lifts his head, looking at Cassian eating a stupid banana. Gods, he wanted to throttle him. “Oh no, I’m Azriel and a beautiful woman wants to cook me dinner, even though I eat dinner with her most nights and have weekly dates with her even though I deny anyth-“
Cassian stops, taking a bite of his banana. He looks up, and realization dawns on him.
“Oh my gods,” he says, his mouth full of banana. Azriel decides to play the denial game, because surely Cassian did not figure out the secret he’s kept guarded for several months while eating a fucking banana.
Cassian looked at him, turning to look up the stairs where you had left just a few moments ago, “you two?”
Azriel rolls his eyes, “we’re friends, yes.”
Cassian rolls his eyes even harder. “I’m not an idiot. You follow her around like a pitiful puppy,” he says, coming closer to his brother, “you two eat just about every meal together, but the one day she offers to cook for you suddenly you can’t find time for her?”
Cassian narrows his eyes at Azriel, “you ashamed of her or something?”
Azriel’s eyes widen, not only at Cassian’s question that he could ever be ashamed of you, but also at Cassian’s change in demeanor.
Cassian slips into the protective big brother role when it comes to you quite easily, Azriel thinks as Cassian puffs out his chest while he strides over to stand next to Azriel.
“Now why on earth would I be ashamed of her?”
Cassian inspects Azriel for a second before asking, “then why haven’t you told her?”
He pauses, then asks, “how long have you known?”
Azriel huffs, “known what?”
“That she’s your mate.”
Azriel stills at Cassian’s words. They liked to poke fun of Cass, calling him a dumb brute, but Cassian was no fool. If any member of his family were to discover his secret, it would be Cassian.
Azriel looks at him, “a few months. I’ve been… waiting.” He sighs, “I keep wanting to tell her and then I psyche myself out. Once I tell her, things will be… different.”
Azriel hates how quiet his voice becomes as he says, “what if she is ashamed of who the mother picked for her?”
Cassian’s chest deflates, all sense of protectiveness over you gone and replaced with protectiveness over his brother.
“Then she’d be a fool.”
Looking down, Azriel watches as Cassian’s foot gently nudges his own, a silent request from Cassian for him to look up.
“There is no way she would ever be ashamed of you or be upset that you’re her mate.”
The way Cassian is looking at Azriel makes him want to shy away, but Cassian keeps his gaze steady, almost locking Azriel’s eyes into place.
“I’d be willing to bet she has journals full of doodles where she draws little hearts with your names in it, and she also writes “Mrs. Shadowsinger”
The rise in octave in his brother’s voice causes a laugh to burst out of him, but Cassian continues.
“I once tried to sit next to you for a meal and I’ve never seen anyone move as quickly as she did to claim her seat. Honestly, this will come as a shock to no one.”
Azriel looked back up at his brother to find him already looking at him, a soft gaze grazing his face.
“We’re happy for you two.”
Azriel scoffs, “I take that to mean you’ve already told Rhysand?”
Cassian starts walking away, going to pick up the remainder of his banana. “Oh yeah, we’ve had a bet for about a year now. Rhys thought the bond had snapped for her, but I knew it would be you. You’ve made me a much richer man, Az.”
Cassian bows in thanks, ducking out the door as Azriel throws a different banana towards the space he was occupying.
-
You had been sulking in your room for what felt like hours after Azriel’s latest rejection. You spent the whole time flipping between thinking about all the little moments that had you swearing there was something happening between you two, and each and every excuse he had made to get out of this dinner.
Was your cooking that bad? Was he tired of you taking up every one of his Thursday nights?
The two of you spent an absurd amount of time together - you ate most meals together at the house, you saw each other multiple times every day. Were you wrong?
A knock on the door pulls you from your thoughts, but before you can respond, the door is opening and Cassian pokes his head in. He has a hand covering his eyes, but he’s made a slit between his middle and ring fingers, allowing him to still see.
“Are you decent?” He asks, looking around the room.
He sighs at seeing you dressed on your bed, pulling his hand away from his face as he walks in, closing the door behind him.
You giggled, “Cass the whole point is to not see someone naked.”
He rolled his eyes as he plopped down next to you on your bed, “you don’t even want to give me a peak? I’ve had such a hard day, a little skin would make me feel better.”
You laugh, picking up a pillow and hitting him with it. He lets you hit him, pretending to fall dramatically onto his back.
“Tell Rhys I loved him,” he sighs dramatically, pretending to die.
You laugh at his foolish antics, but Cassian continues to pretend he’s dead. You lean into him, about to poke his face, when he grabs your waist, hoisting you over his shoulder.
“Now come on, I’ve got shopping to do and I need your help.”
-
After Cassian had left, Azriel spent some time trying to decide how he could make this up to you. He didn’t want to force you into accepting a bond that you didn’t know about by presenting him with food.
He paced his room, his long legs gliding across the wooden floors making no noise. His shadows were combing through the house, trying to find out where you had gone after your earlier spat.
Azriel replaced with pacing with purposeful steps as he headed towards his bedroom door, the perfect solution coming to him.
-
“Thank you Cassian,” you say, squeezing his arm your hand was tucked into.
“For what? My incredibly charming presence?” He smirks down at you.
You scoff, “I felt awful earlier but you pulled me out of my spiraling, thanks.” You say, nudging him a bit.
Cassian had gotten you out of your room and the two of you walked around Velaris, mostly people watching and talking.
He hums, “well, both of my brothers are idiots,” he says, getting a laugh out of you. “They take turns on who holds the idiot stick. Today it’s Azriel.”
“Do you ever hold the idiot stick?”
“Occasionally, very rarely, I will pass it between the two of them, so I only have it for a moment or two.”
You snort, looking down at your feet. If Cassian thought Azriel was being stupid, does he see what you see?
You start to ask him, to prod him for more answers about Azriel, when he pats your hand, turning your attention to where the two of you had ended up on this walk.
The townhouse.
Your brows crease in confusion as Cassian removes your hand from his elbow, pats your shoulder, and tells you to have a good night.
You start to sputter, wanting to know why you’re here. He shrugs, “I don’t question my orders.” He gives you a two finger salute before turning around and walking away.
You turn back around, looking at the entrance to the townhouse, afraid of what you’ll find on the other side of the door, but going up and knocking anyway.
The door opens, but no one is there. A small shadow swirls around you, moving up from your feet to your face, caressing your cheek before zipping off to the kitchen.
You step through the threshold and a new shadow comes and shuts the door, another two come and help you take your coat off and hang it up for you.
You walk towards the kitchen, where you can hear the clattering of plates and some delicious aromas filling the whole house. Inside the kitchen you find Azriel, with a frilly apron tied around his waist, putting the finishing touches on two plates at the table.
“What’s all this?” You ask him, doubt creeping in that this isn’t meant for you.
“Sit, sit,” he beckons, pulling out a chair for you. You look around the room, covered in flickering candlelight and flowers. He must have been working on this for hours.
You look down at your plate, the bright colors of ratatouille catching your eye. You gasp, wanting to know how much effort he went to find a recipe for it.
He takes off the apron, sitting across from you.
“I… made an ass of myself, and I’d like to apologize first and foremost for that.” You open your mouth to interrupt him, but he holds up a hand. “Let me finish, I have.. a lot to tell you.”
He takes a deep breath, stilling his nerves. You look so pretty in the glow of the candles, and the slight concern you’ll hate him is enough to distract him, but he has to tell you this.
“There’s a reason I didn’t want you to cook for me. A few months ago we were in the library, reading, and I looked up and I watched you tuck your hair behind your ear, laughing at something in your book and I.. felt it.”
You’re in a trance, listening to him speak.
“I felt like I was dying and coming back to life, like your hand was wrapped around my heart, squeezing in time, keeping it beating. I made up some half-assed excuse to leave, because I needed to talk to Rhys.”
You looked at him, hoping your gaze would encourage him to continue.
“Rhys confirmed what I thought it was - the bond snapping. And I was terrified.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I was terrified if I told you, you’d deny the bond, you’d break my heart. So I… put off telling you. I couldn’t.”
He looks down at his lap, fidgeting his fingers.
“I kept trying to tell you, then I’d chicken out. Then when you offered to cook for me, I couldn’t let it happen. I couldn’t let you accidentally accept the bond, accept me without knowing about it.”
He sighs, “I felt awful when I realized you thought I was rejecting you. Far from it. So I’ve uh.. made you dinner.”
You finally speak, “you made me dinner.”
“I made you dinner. And dessert, actually.”
Leave it to Azriel to outdo himself by finding the time to make dessert.
You weren’t letting a single emotion show on your face, and it made a shiver run up Azriel’s spine.
After what could have been hours, you slowly smiled, looking at him, “what kind of dessert did you make?”
He pauses, “I uh made you- us, uh chocolate mousse. I made two, but I thought we could share one.”
He looks at you, still not giving anything away, “if you want to, of course.”
He shifts, your silence making him uneasy.
“If you don’t want to accept it, I understand. I kept it from you, and I’m me, loving me would be rotten work- what are you doing?”
In the middle of his rambling, you picked up your fork, getting a nice helping of food on your fork, bringing it up to your mouth.
“Well, my mate made me dinner, and it looks incredible. Why would I not want to take a bite?”
He looks at you, a rush of emotions flooding him. Surprise, confusion, elation.
“But, but I can promise you to love me, to be my mate, it’s rotten work.”
You smile, “not to me it’s not.”
You pause, “not if it’s you,” and take a bite.
His chest sings, feeling warmth radiating throughout him. Feeling love radiate through him, and he realizes that’s you.
You keep eating the food, that hum getting louder and more vibrant, until you’ve cleared your plate, and stride over to him.
You grab his face in your hands, tilting his head so he’ll look into your eyes. “If you think I am not aware of who you are, what you do, your darkest parts, you are mistaken. And if you think I will shy away from those things, you are a fool.”
He hadn’t realized he was crying until you swiped your thumb across his cheek, swiping it away.
You smile down at him, and he has never felt so loved, so whole as he does in this moment. His mate, the one person the cauldron deemed would understand him, just chose him.
He feels like that little boy, looked in the dungeon, daydreaming about being saved by an angel. And he has.
He stands up, cupping your face in his hands, “I was in love with you before the bond snapped for me. I’m not here just because the cauldron told me to be, let me assure you that.”
You smile, a heat creeping up your cheeks. “I’m only here for the chocolate mousse.”
He laughs, a genuine, roaring laugh.
You pull his face in close to yours, gazing into his eyes. “And I have been in love with you since the day after I met you.”
His eyebrows shoot up, “the day after?”
You smile, “well I thought I was in love with you that first day, but then on that second day I heard you speak, and I knew no one would ever compare.”
You feel his happiness in your chest, as if his heart is also in your ribcage, yours and his intertwined, dancing through your chest together.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks, his mouth so close to your own your breaths are intermingling.
You smile at his thoughtfulness, his hesitation.
“Only if you promise to never stop.”
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pucksandpower · 7 months
Text
Mine
Carlos Sainz x Reader
Summary: Carlos wants everyone to know you’re his and he knows exactly how to make that happen
Warnings: 18+ content heavily implied, manipulation, tampering with birth control, pregnancy
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“Who was that?”
You glance up to find Carlos’ gaze fixed on the rearview mirror of his sleek Ferrari, eyebrows furrowed. His usually cheerful brown eyes are clouded with something you can’t quite place.
“Who?” You ask, feigning ignorance though you know he’s referring to the tall, blond man who had lingered just a bit too long by your side during the after-race party.
“The cabrón in the blue suit,” he grinds his teeth. “Never seen him around before.”
“Ah,” you laugh, reaching out to playfully flick at the bridge of his nose, “just someone from the event planning team. Harmless.”
Carlos doesn’t smile back. His grip on the steering wheel tightens and the set of his jaw becomes more pronounced. “He touched your arm.”
“He was just being friendly,” you reason but a hint of defensiveness creeps into your voice.
There’s a pause as Carlos winds the car through the foreign streets. You can feel his frustration.
“You’re being naive,” he finally says. “It’s not just him. Everywhere we go, I see them looking at you. The way Daniel winks at you, how Lewis always finds an excuse to chat, even the staff and the fans. Don’t you see it?”
It’s not like you can deny that. Ever since the two of you went public with your relationship, attention has been inevitable. You’re the envy of many and the object of desire for countless others. But Carlos’ brooding possessiveness is new and you’re not sure how to address it.
“They’re just our friends,” you murmur. “And fans are fans. They’re excited to see you and by extension me too. That’s all.”
He exhales heavily. “It’s not just about them being friends or fans. It’s the entitlement, the audacity they have, thinking they can just ... approach you like that. Like they have any shot with you.”
You roll your eyes even though he won’t see it while focused on the road. “I can handle myself. Besides, I chose you. They’re nothing to me.”
The car pulls up to the entrance of a crowded nightclub, its entrance flashing with neon lights. Carlos stops in front of the valet, swiveling in his seat to face you.
You’re taken aback by the intensity in his eyes.
“Yes,” he says in a husky whisper, “you chose me. And I chose you. But I can’t stand by and watch these pretenders think they have a shot with you.”
You swallow hard, shocked by the raw emotion in his voice. “You can’t control who talks to me or looks at me. I love you and that’s all that matters.”
He leans in, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I know,” his lips brush your skin. “But I also know how men think and I won’t stand for them disrespecting you or our relationship.”
“We’re in the public eye. This is something we will always have to deal with. Trust me, trust us.”
His gaze searches yours, dark eyes imploring. “I trust you,” he says. “It’s them I don’t trust.”
You wrap your fingers around his much bigger ones. “We’ll get through this. Together.”
Carlos sighs, resting his forehead against yours. “I just … I can’t bear the thought of anyone else ever having you.”
Your heart swells. “Mi amor, I’m not going anywhere. The ring on my finger is there because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He pulls you across the console, setting you on his lap as he wraps his arms around you while ignoring the valet waiting right outside the car. “I know. I just ... I need to make sure that everyone else knows too.”
***
Carlos finds himself in a dimly lit pharmacy aisle, heart racing. The overhead fluorescent lights throw ghostly shadows between the narrow rows. He can hear the soft hum of a distant conversation, punctuated by the rustling of paper bags and the occasional beep of the cash register.
But for Carlos, everything feels distant, like he’s viewing the world through a thick veil.
He stops in front of a shelf, his gaze locking onto the birth control pills. Rows upon rows of them, each promising freedom … autonomy.
His mind rushes back to the countless conversations he’s had with you.
“I want to finish school first,” you would always say earnestly. “Kids are a big responsibility. We have all the time in the world for them later.”
But Carlos doesn’t feel like he has time. He has fought with this internal battle for months. The thought of marking you as his, of the world knowing through the unmistakable swell of your belly, appeals to his most primal instincts.
“Can I help you?” A voice interrupts his thoughts.
He turns to see the pharmacist looking at him with a tentative smile. He tries to gather his thoughts, suddenly feeling like a deer caught in headlights. “I, um, need some pills. Sugar pills.”
The pharmacist frowns. “For a placebo effect?”
Carlos nods, trying to seem nonchalant. “Yeah, something like that. My little cousin needs them for her science fair project.”
She hesitates for a moment then reaches behind the counter, pulling out a small box. “We have these. They’re usually used for clinical trials but they should do the trick.”
He pays for the pills and quickly hides them in his pocket. He thinks about how you would react if you ever found out. But the thought of you carrying his child, the undeniable mark of his claim clear for all to see, is too much to resist.
The next morning starts as it always does. You stretch and make your way to the bathroom, your daily routine staring with the familiar sound of the pill package being opened.
Carlos stands at the doorway, watching as you take your daily birth control. He knows he should feel guilty but instead he is consumed by a heady mix of anticipation and possessiveness.
He imagines your body changing, growing round.
“Morning,” you smile up at him.
He steps closer, wrapping his arms around you. “Morning. How did you sleep?”
You lean into his embrace, enjoying the warmth and solidity of his body against yours. “Like a baby. Must have been the post-race celebrations.”
Carlos chuckles but there’s a tension to it, an undercurrent of something more. “I’ve been thinking,” he begins.
You pull back slightly to look up into his eyes, “Mmmh. About?”
“Us. Our future.”
Your heart skips a beat. “What about it?”
He hesitates, his gaze searching yours. “I want to start a family with you,” the words come tumbling out in a rush. “I know you want to wait but the thought of you carrying my child … our child ... I can’t get it out of my head.”
“I love you," you choose your words carefully. "So much. But I’ve told you how I feel. I’m not ready.”
He lets out a heavy breath, the weight of his decision pressing down on him. “I know. I just can’t help how I feel.”
“We’ll get there when the time is right,” you press a kiss to his bare chest. “I promise.”
***
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, feeling his eyes linger on you as you change out of your dress. The dimly lit bedroom is filled with the ambient sounds of Mallorca nightlife. From the open balcony door, you can hear the soft crash of waves and distant murmurs of evening revelers.
Carlos chuckles lowly. “Like what?”
“Like you’re planning something,” you eye him suspiciously but your voice is playful
He stands, taking a few purposeful steps towards you. “Maybe I am,” he corners you against the wall. The heat of his body warms your own, even through the layers of clothing.
You wrap your arms around his neck. “Planning what?”
He leans down, lips grazing the curve of your ear. “To remind you,” he whispers, “that you’re mine.”
You shiver at his words, the dominant tone sending a thrill down your spine. “Is that so?” You challenge, arching a brow.
His hands slide down your waist, pulling you impossibly close. “Very much so,” he replies, sealing his words with a searing kiss.
As the two of you move to the bed, there’s an urgency, a raw need that wasn’t there before.
Every touch, every kiss, every caress feels even more intense than usual.
“Why are you so ... insistent tonight?” You gasp out through the overwhelming rush of sensations.
Carlos halts momentarily, gazing down at you with hooded eyes. “I want to make sure you never forget,” his voice is rough. “Forget what we have. Forget how deep this goes.”
“I could never forget,” your fingers move with a mind of their own to tangle in his hair.
His lips find yours again. “Promise?”
You nod, getting lost deeper and deeper in the moment. “Promise.”
Hours pass in a blur of passion and whispered confessions. The intensity of Carlos’ actions betrays an underlying need and desperation that are hard for you to place.
As the sun rises above the horizon outside, you find yourself curled up against Carlos’ chest, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin.
“You were different tonight,” you murmur as your eyes slowly lose their battle against sleep.
Carlos tenses momentarily. “I just wanted to make sure you know," he says lowly. “Know how much I need you. How much I want you.”
You prop yourself up on an elbow, studying his face. “I know,” you brush a stray lock of hair off his forehead. “But what brought this on?”
Carlos hesitates, searching for the right words. “I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to try to come between us,” he admits. “And I need to make sure that never happens.”
Your heart aches at his words and the vulnerability in his eyes. “Nothing is going to come between us,” you lean over to capture his lips tenderly. “We’re much stronger than that.”
Carlos smiles and flips himself on top of you once more. “I’ll make sure of it.”
***
“Ouch!” You exclaim, pulling away as Carlos’ hands brush against your chest. The sudden sensitivity catches you off guard.
Carlos raises an eyebrow, eyes darkening with a mix of concern and something else — something unreadable. “Mi corazón? What’s wrong?”
You shake your head, trying to make sense of the unexpected pain. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling kind of ... off lately.”
He moves closer, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. “How so?”
You shrug, “Just more sensitive, I guess. And tired. And don’t even get me started on how my clothes have decided to stop fitting properly.”
Carlos smirks, a hint of smugness playing on his lips. “Maybe you’ve just been enjoying Spanish cuisine a little too much.”
You roll your eyes, swatting him playfully. “Funny. But seriously, it’s weird. I’ve been doing my workouts, eating right, and still ...”
He pulls you close, fingers tracing the smooth curve of your waist. “I like the changes,” his voice is muffled as he presses a soft kiss to your neck.
You shiver, torn between the pleasure of his touch and the lingering feeling that something just isn’t right. “It doesn’t feel like me,” you try to shake off the unease.
Carlos tightens his grip, gaze intensely locked on yours. “Maybe it’s just ... natural changes. You know, as we get older.”
You frown, pulling away slightly. “But I’m in my twenties. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.”
He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “Look, bodies change. I’m sure everything is fine.”
You’re not convinced but you nod, pushing the uneasy feeling to the back of your mind. “Maybe.”
Carlos watches you closely, the smugness returning to his features. “Besides,” he says, voice dropping to a husky whisper, “I kind of like the changes. You look ... fuller.”
You blush. “Thanks, I guess.”
He laughs, pulling you close again. “Always so modest,” he presses a soft kiss to your lips.
You melt completely against him, the warmth and familiarity of his touch pushing away the unease, at least for the moment.
But as the days pass, the changes become more pronounced, the nagging feeling that something is wrong growing stronger.
Carlos, on the other hand, seems happier than ever, his possessiveness reaching new heights. He is constantly by your side, his touch lingering, his gaze intense.
“You’re glowing,” he comments one day, eyes tracing your body.
You roll your eyes but hide a smile. “I think you need to get your eyes checked.”
“I’m serious. There’s something … different about you. I like it.”
You frown, trying to make sense of his words. “Different how?”
He thinks for a moment, searching for the right words. “You just seem more radiant. More alive.”
You shake your head, laughing softly. “I think you’re seeing things.”
Carlos smirks. “Maybe,” his hands slip under the material of your shirt, caressing your slightly bloated belly. “Or maybe I just know you better than you know yourself.”
***
“I’m what?” Your voice wavers as you clutch the edge of the doctor’s desk in shock, the coolness of the surface grounding you.
The doctor, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, looks between you and Carlos. “You’re pregnant,” she repeats gently, handing over the sonogram.
Carlos breaks into a wide grin. “That’s incredible!” He pulls you into a tight embrace, placing kisses all over your face.
But as the news sinks in, panic sets in. Your future plans — graduating with your degree, establishing a career — all seem to crash around you.
You gently extricate yourself from his hold, taking a deep breath. “How is this possible? I’m on birth control! We’re always so careful.”
The doctor tilts her head, looking through her notes. “No birth control method is 100% foolproof,” she says. “It’s rare but it can happen.”
Carlos’ fingers lace through yours, his touch warm and reassuring. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, squeezing your hand.
Tears well up in your eyes, the overwhelming emotions threatening to drown you. “I still have a year of school left. I wanted to be established in my own career … this wasn’t part of the plan.”
Carlos cups your face. “Hey,” he murmurs, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “You don’t have to worry about any of that. You have me.”
You blink. “Carlos, I want to work. I want a career. I don’t want to be dependent on you.”
He smiles. "You won’t be dependent. You’ll be cared for. Isn’t that what you want?”
You take a step back. “I want to be my own person. I want to make my own choices.”
Carlos’ gaze darkens, the dominant edge returning. “You will be. But you’ll also be mine. That’s what is important now.”
***
You’ve quickly come to love the sensation of your growing belly, cherishing each gentle flutter and kick from the perfect being within, knowing that it’s a bond that only you and Carlos share.
“Good morning, little bean,” you whisper, rubbing the gentle swell of your belly. Every morning, this small act helps you bond with the life growing steadily inside of you.
Carlos enters the room, his hair still tousled from sleep. The morning sunlight casts a warm glow on his chiseled features. “Frijolito is lucky to have a such a beautiful mama,” he murmurs, sidling up to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. His hand finds its place on your belly, fingers splayed and feeling for any hint of movement.
“I am huge,” you complain with a mock pout.
He leans down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss then pulling back to tilt your chin up. “You’ve never looked more beautiful.”
“You have to say that,” you tease. “I’m carrying your baby.”
“Partly,” he admits, sliding his hand up to cup your face, “but mostly because it’s true. You would put Helen of Troy to shame.”
Weeks pass and your body continues to transform.
There’s a softness, a roundness, that wasn’t there before, and it’s something that Carlos revels in. His hand is constantly on your belly, possessive and protective. Every time another man’s gaze lingers a little too long on you, Carlos’ lips curve into a smirk, silently declaring his ownership.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” You ask one evening as the two of you settle into bed.
Carlos raises an eyebrow. “Enjoying what?”
“Having every man that looks at me know that I’m yours,” you poke him playfully on the chest.
“Maybe,” his hand slides down your body. “Is that a problem?”
You sigh, nestling closer to him. “No,” you admit. “It’s kind of nice, actually.”
Carlos grins, pressing a kiss to your belly. “That’s my girl.”
The months fly by and soon the reality of your impending motherhood sets in. There are nursery preparations, birthing classes, and endless discussions about baby names. Through it all, Carlos is by your side, excitement never wavering.
“Can you believe we’re going to be parents?” You marvel one day, looking around the nursery.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Carlos says. “You and our frijolito are my everything.”
Happy tears well up in your eyes. “I love you,” you whisper, burying your face in his chest.
Carlos tightens his grip, resting his chin on top of your head. “Yo también te amo.”
The next race day arrives and as always, Carlos calm and collected. But recently there has been a different kind of energy to him, an intensity that was never there before.
“Promise me you’ll be safe,” you clutch his hand.
Carlos smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips and then another on your belly. “I promise,” he says, eyes locking with yours. “I have too much to come home to ever do otherwise.”
***
“It’s time,” you gasp, clutching the bedsheets as another contraction hits.
Carlos lets you grip his hand impossibly tight. “Breathe, mi corazón,” he urges, wiping the sweat off your forehead.
Hours pass in a blur of pain and anticipation. Through it all, Carlos is by your side, his touch both comforting and grounding.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, a small cry pierces the air. Tears stream down your face as you catch your first glimpse of your son, his tiny face scrunched up in protest.
“He’s absolutely perfect,” Carlos says thickly, tears gathering as he kisses you gently.
You smile weakly, the exhaustion of a long labour weighing you down. “Our little bean,” you whisper, cradling your son close.
Carlos wipes away an escaped tear. “Our frijolito,” his gaze never leaves your son’s face.
As you start feeding your son for the first time, Carlos’ face softens and his eyes fill with awe. “I can’t believe we made something so amazing,” he traces a finger over your son’s tiny hand.
You smile, heart swelling with love. “He’s perfect,” you whisper, tears streaming down your face.
Carlos leans down to press a soft kiss to your son’s forehead and then another to yours. “You did incredible. Thank you for giving me everything I could ever ask for.”
You smile. “We did this together.”
Carlos nods, his gaze locked onto your son’s face. “I promise you that I will always take care of you both. You will never have to worry about a thing.”
“I know," you whisper as you let contentment and tiredness drift you off to sleep.
As the days pass, Carlos becomes even more possessive and protective, his love for you and your son deepening with each passing moment. He is constantly by your side, reluctant to leave either of you for even a second.
One evening, as the two of you sit on the balcony, watching the sunset while your son dozes away, Carlos turns to you. “I want to give you more.”
You raise an eyebrow, a teasing smile playing on your lips. “More what?”
Carlos smirks and pulls you close. “More children,” he murmurs, pecking your lips. “I want to fill you with my babies.”
You laugh, “One is enough for now.”
Carlos chuckles but his face is serious. “We’ll see.”
Carlos knows that he will ensure it happens just like he did before.
He’ll keep you bound to him forever.
2K notes · View notes
grandlinedreams · 7 months
Text
“What,” Mihawk begins, “is that.”
It’s not so much a question as a demand for an answer and even with as mild as his tone is, you still have to take a moment to find your confidence again, adjusting your grip on the object in question. 
“A kitten,” you answer. The kitten in question is little more than a mess of jet black fur and a pair of small, pointed ears that dangles limply in your hold, mewing as Mihawk stares at it. “He kind of looks like you, doesn’t he?”
Mihawk’s eyes narrow a fraction. True, the kitten is black like his hair, and the pair of eyes that peer at him are round and the same shade of gold as his own – but that, in his opinion, is where the similarities stop. “Hardly.” 
“Hardly,” you echo, pitching your tone deeper in playful mockery as you bring the kitten closer to your chest, scratching underneath his chin until he starts purring. “Don’t be so grumpy.”
“I am not grumpy.”
You kiss the top of the kitten’s head, humming at the tickle of soft fur against your lips. “Says you.” The kitten mews in agreement – not so much at your words, but at the attention you’re currently giving him. 
“Where did you find it?”
“Him,” you correct.
Mihawk stares at you and were it not undoubtedly beneath him, he’d roll his eyes at your persistence. “Where did you find him,” he amends, and you grin. Mihawk looks less than amused. “I hope you weren’t wandering around again. The humandrills–”
“Are friendly,” you cut in, “and I can handle myself. You know that. And besides, it gets lonely when you’re off doing who knows what.” You really don’t know what he gets up to when he leaves Kuraigana, only that he’s unscathed every time and recounts (undoubtedly heavily edited) events with an ever present air of boredom in his voice when you ask. “But to answer your question, I don’t know how he even survived long enough to end up here, but he was out near the shore.” You snuggle the little kitten to your face again. “Poor thing almost died.”
For a moment, Mihawk wonders if he should fancy himself jealous of how much attention the cat is getting from you, but that’s beneath him too – besides, he’s the one that you sleep next to at night. 
“I’m keeping him,” you say and Mihawk watches you, head tilting as he arches an eyebrow in question. 
“You are?”
“Yes,” you answer firmly, and the kitten offers his own opinion in the form of an indignant mewl, followed by a yawn of tiny, sharp white teeth and brief glimpse of a pink tongue before he tucks himself against you. 
Mihawk sighs. “Very well. But he is not sleeping in the bedroom with us.”
(The kitten does, in fact, end up sleeping in your shared bedroom. And Mihawk decides that yes, even if it’s just a little bit, he is indeed jealous of that tiny kitten.)
1K notes · View notes
themorningsunshine · 1 year
Text
Pie - eyed over you
Mafia - Baker AU 
Masterlist                         Series Masterlist
Pairing - Mafia!Bucky x Baker!Reader
Summary - When a new baker in town refuses to abide by his rules, Bucky has no option but to go and take care of it himself. But nothing could prepare him for what stood on the other side. Nothing could prepare him for you.
Warnings - Mentions of murder and weapons 
Word count - 3.3k
a/n - This is my first time writing an AU and I am super nervous (also because I have combined two things I can just not write about, weapons and cooking). Please let me know what you think.
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Rain was pouring heavily on the roof of the shed and he wasn't sure if the old sheds meekly covering the building could contain them much longer. He couldn't care less.
He walks out of the building and into the rain, wiping his left arm on his dry coat to wipe off the blood covering it. The pouring rain caresses his face but does nothing to the ever-present frown on his forehead and the grimace on his lips.
He used to love the rain as a kid. The gentleness of the droplets, the smell of rain, and the puddles. It was so much easier back then. So innocent. He closes his eyes as droplets slide their way all over him. They touch him like they don't know what he has just done.
His frown deepens as images claw into his mind once again. He clenches his fist remembering how it had taken him mere 10 seconds to shoot 3 bullets straight into the man's head. The killing had become easier over the years. Picking the bullet and shooting straight into the target had become second nature to him.
What hadn't become easier was the aftermath. The guilt that somehow always gnawed its way into his heart. The question was there any other way?
With his eyes still closed, he brings his face towards the sky, daring the rain to wash away his thoughts the same way it has washed away the blood that stuck to his metal arm not so long ago.
He likes the rain for a completely different reason now.
It provides him with an escape.
From his mind.
His thoughts
The images. The man screaming, begging him to stop and he doesn't even feel disgusted by himself when he doesn't even falter. He left his men to take care of the body.
A face lingers in his mind, pushing away all the dark thoughts. His ma "Bucky "
It's like he can hear her call out to him, urging him to come back home.
She would have hated how he turned out.
But he tells himself he doesn't care.
It didn't matter what his ma would have thought about him. She wasn't here. She didn't have to know.
He snaps his eyes open when he doesn't feel the rain falling on his face anymore. He can still hear the raindrops thudding on the roofs of the buildings. He looks up to see a huge umbrella over his head, shielding him from the rain.
He frowns and follows the handle of the outrageous floral print object only to be met by the sight that was going to change his life forever.
The first thing he saw when his eyes met y/e/c ones was that they held a certain softness to them that he didn't think still existed in this world. He was almost afraid to take his eyes off yours as if he was scared that you would crumble down under his gaze.
But when he brought his eyes over your face and then the rest of you, he knew it was the most beautiful sight his eyes had ever landed on. That even the most beautiful paintings in the world didn't hold a candle to you.
"Are you okay?" You whispered, voice so gentle, it could calm the most violent of storms.
Bucky thinks those are the most precious three words he has ever heard. He nods his head, mostly because he doesn't speak too much these days and also because it has been a very long time since someone has asked him that question.
"I am walking that way and the rain is increasing, you don't want to get drenched. Walk with me?" You ask and he thinks he would burn the whole world down to the ground with a smile on his face if you asked.
He looks at the way you are pointing and realizes that's where his car is parked. He says, "Okay" and sees as you take a step towards him, covering the both of you with your umbrella, and his senses are filled with your smell. You smell like freshly baked cookies and coffee. It's his new favorite smell.
You take a couple of steps ahead before turning towards him and he realizes he is staring. He doesn't remember the last time when somebody had enthralled him so much. For some reason, he just can't get himself to look away.
"I have not seen you around before." He says only to hear you speak again.
"Yeah, I am kind of new here. Been less than a week." You reply with a smile on your face and Bucky thinks this cursed town has just been blessed.
You look around before commenting, "It's a beautiful town." And for the love of god, he can't figure out how this part of the town which is more of a  dumpster with remnants of buildings all around can be beautiful to somebody.
"This is not really a safe place." When you look at him with confusion in your eyes, he continues, "Especially at this time of night." As if that explanation is enough. He straightens his back and tries to get the confident, mob aura he has around everyone. "What are you doing here?"
If his slightly changed demeanor throws you off guard, you don't point it out. You just bite your lip before speaking, "What if I tell you I lost my way?"
The chuckle that leaves him is involuntary. "Really? Lost your way?"
"Hey. In my defense, it's just been a week." You place your hand on your chest in fake offense.
"Where were you heading to?"
You put your hand in your pocket before taking out a piece of paper. "Here"
Bucky takes the paper from you and looks at it with furrowed brows. "Why are you walking this way? This place is at the other end of that alley." He says before pointing out to a dark alley.
You make an o shape with your mouth before turning toward where he is pointing. "Got it. Thanks."
When you reach his car and his driver opens the door for him, he turns back before saying, "Let me drop you." It doesn't sound like a request.
"No, no. It's fine. I don't want to be trouble. Also, I am not sure your car would fit in there." You said before tilting your umbrella towards yourself.
"I'll see you around." You tell him before giving him a small wave and walking away, a smile still etched on your lips.
Bucky stands there, watching you go, and realizes he didn't ask your name. But he'd be damned if he let you go in that alley alone. He asks one of his men to make sure that you reach your destination safely.
"Keep an eye from afar." He instructs him. Voice cold and commanding.
But the frown on his head and the grimace on his lips are a little less evident on the way back.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" Bucky's voice bellowed around the dark room, startling everyone around him.
"S- sir, I tried." Peter bows his head before whimpering.
Steve, who has been standing beside Bucky's chair leans in to whisper, "He is just a kid, Buck."
Bucky rubs his hand over his face before looking at Peter trying his best to give him a soft look. "Okay, Peter. I don't have time for this. What exactly is the problem here? And don't tell me a full-blown story."
"S-sir, the new bakery. The owner says she isn't going to pay the money. Said something about taxes and also that, 'If I don't barge in there asking for weapons, don't barge into my place asking for money.'
Some of the men standing in the corner chuckle but are rewarded by a glare from Bucky.
"I don't have time to deal with a Baker. Did you tell her that everybody in town pays the money? It's for protection." He says, voice slightly irritated. The townspeople feared him. There was no doubt about that in his mind. Hence, they sent him money at the start of every month diligently. But sometimes, out of the blue, someone would come and try to be the savior, trying to rebel. He didn't understand what they wanted. He wasn't a monster. Over the years, he had relieved some people of paying the money on various occasions.
"I did tell her that, sir. She asked me who exactly is this protection from." Peter whispered, now slightly trembling with fear.
This piqued Bucky's interest. Over the years, nobody had ever asked his men the reason behind the money. They just obliged.
Peter continued, "I told her it's from the mob. Some of us. And she said she isn't going to pay us to do the bare minimum, to be human." Bucky leaned back in his chair and shut his eyes in annoyance.
Steve spoke up, "It's okay, Buck. I'll handle this. You know they all give in eventually."
Bucky opened his eyes and stood up from his chair. "Nope, I will come with you. This is different." He then looked at Sam who was standing at the other end of the room, "Receive the order of the weapons. The delivery is scheduled in an hour."
Same nodded his head before walking out of the room. Bucky dismissed the other men and along with Steve walked towards Peter, both of the men towering over him.
"Peter, are those crumbles of pie on your face?"
A shiver passed through Peter at his cold tone and he willed himself to speak, "She gave it to me, sir. I tried to refuse. Really did. But she said that I am just a kid and don't deserve - " Peter cut himself before he could speak too much. He somehow had the habit of always speaking about stuff that is supposed to be kept secret.
A small smile found its way to Bucky's lips but it was gone as soon as it came and he patted Peter's shoulder dismissing him. "This is different." He said to Steve before walking out of the room.
And for some reason, he was sure it was true.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
"We are here, sir."
Bucky looked up from the file he was reading to his driver and then around him. It was one of the good areas of the town where families stayed, holed up in their whole little world, the darkness of the other side not fully reaching them.
Steve instructed the driver and the guard to stay in the car as the both of them walked out. "That is the one," Steve said pointing towards something.
Bucky followed his gaze and his movements faltered for a slight second. He had never seen something so - warm.
A little bakery standing between a bookstore and a cycle stand with sweets adorning its shelves looking delicious enough to lure anybody inside—soft music playing in the little speaker placed outside. People occupying the chairs outside and inside the shop, kids running around with huge grins on their faces, every one into their own little world.
It looked lively.
Bucky couldn't remember seeing something like this in the town before. Maybe he hadn't even bothered, or maybe something had really changed. With their black sunglasses and dressed up in dark colors from head to toe, he wasn't sure if he and Steve were going to fit in, but he couldn't care less.
As they walked closer, Bucky could now see most of the shop and when his eyes landed on the sole person behind the counter, his breath hitched in his throat.
Removing his sunglasses to get a better look, he stopped in his tracks when his suspicions were confirmed.
.
It was her.
The girl with the floral umbrella and the warm smile.
The girl who had somehow crept her way into his thoughts more than he would like to admit in the past week since he had seen her.
And she was beautiful.
He saw as you stood behind the counter, handing a box to a little girl with a huge grin on your face, the girl jumping up and down in excitement as you leaned towards her to whisper something.
He then saw the little girl run out of the bakery, clutching the box to her chest towards her mother as if it was the most precious thing in the world. When his eyes went back to you, he saw how you talked to the next customer, an old lady, with the same huge grin on your face.
He hadn't noticed that he had been staring until Steve cleared his throat, a smirk on his face. Before Steve could say something, Bucky muttered, "Stay here, let me handle this." He walks towards the stops with a calculated gaze and a perfected aura of confidence.
As he opens the door to the bakery, the smell of coffee and cookies hits him hard and a feeling of warmth engulfs him.
"How can I - " Your words die in your throat when your eyes land on the familiar figure.
Bucky could swear your smile gets wider.
You compose yourself before saying, "Hey, I know you. You are the cute guy from the other day."
Bucky frowns as he takes in your words. Cute? Did you just call him cute? He had been called intimidating, scary, and even sexy. But cute? He was furious. He was anything BUT cute. Also, was he allergic to something in the shop? Why the hell was his stomach suddenly fluttering?
He also ignores the way his heart is beating quicker at the realization that you remembered him. What was happening to him today? "I am looking for y/n l/n."
Your smile turned slightly mischievous as you replied, "That would be me."
Bucky's eyes almost widened at that. "You are y/n? The owner of the bakery?"
"Yup." You said popping the p as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And the last I checked, introductions went both ways."
You raised your hand towards him for a handshake and after looking at your hand for a moment, he shook it. "I am B - James." For some reason, he didn't want you to know who he was. The nickname might give it away.
You smiled at him again before returning your hand, a little too early for Bucky's liking, "So, James. What can I get you?"
He had it all planned. It was like second nature to him. I want my money. Abide by the rules, you don't want to know the consequences. It was the usual. But for some reason, his mouth had gained a mind of its own as it said before he could comprehend, "Cupcakes"
You looked at the huge display of baked goods before looking back at him, "Which one?"
Bucky gave the display a glance, he was sure he hadn't ever tasted most of them. "What do you recommend, sweets?"
He watches as you are visibly taken aback by the nickname. A smirk find its way to his lips as he watched red color creeping up to your neck.
"I - uhm" You take a breath to compose yourself. Get it together. "These red velvet cupcakes just came out of the oven and they are kinda my favorite. So.." You look at Bucky with excitement in your eyes and he likes how passionate you are about your work.
"I'll take a box."
You smile at him before bending down to pack a box of the delicacy and he watches how you oh-so-gently pick up each piece before placing it inside the box with practiced precision.
When you hand over the box to him and your hands brush, you feel the sparks through your spine once again as when you had shaken hands.
When he puts a hand in his pocket to retrieve the money, you cut him off. "Don't worry about it. It's on the house."
Bucky smiles a little before replying, "Sweets, you keep giving free goods like that and you'll have to close the shop soon." He says in a teasing voice.
"I'll let you in on a secret, James." You lean towards him as if it is the most secretive thing in the world. "This is a business strategy."
He frowns a little, trying to cover the fact that he was getting too comfortable with how close the both of you were, before saying, "How's that?"
"The first order is on the house but then you come again. And again. It's really profitable."
There is this - innocence and purity in your voice that reminds him of a little child. Of old times. Easier times. And he just stares into your eyes for as long as he can, as if they could help him escape, become a portal to a time long lost.
You don't dare to move either. His eyes are the prettiest shade of blue you have ever seen. They have this intensity to them as if hiding the stories of a lifetime and you just can't get yourself to look away. You have always loved a good mystery.
Bucky clears his throat, bringing the both of you out of the daze as he brings the teasing tone back to his voice, "What makes you think I will come back?"
You chuckle a little before giving a proud smile. "Oh, you will, James. I trust my cupcakes."
He gives you another small smile as he takes a step back. This is the longest conversation he has had with a person outside his line of work in a very long time. Everybody was just too scared but he couldn't care less.
"Goodbye, sweets." He says before letting the new customer who had just entered go ahead. 
"Goodbye, James. Until next time." You add with a wink.
Bucky walks out of the bakery, his initial motive forgotten completely. From the outside, he turns back to look at you for the one last time and watches as you say something that makes the teenage boy laugh while taking out cookies from the shelf.
A moment later, you look towards the window and your eyes meet for a fleeting second. You smile at him and give him a small wave.
Bucky turns around to walk towards his car when he notices Steve standing a few feet away with a knowing smirk on his face.
Bucky rolls his eyes before muttering with clenched teeth, "Don't"
Steve doesn't ask about the money and Bucky is glad. He isn't really sure how he would answer. Whatever happened wasn't what he was expecting.  You weren't what he was expecting.
As he slid into the back seat of his car, the image of your smile when you were that close to him lingered in his mind and he couldn't stop the way his lips had pulled slightly upward.
When the car started driving, and with Steve on a phone call, he opened the box of cupcakes and picked one to take a small bite.
As he takes the first bite, the softness and the sweetness of the cake engulf him and leave him wanting more. He doesn't remember eating something this good in a long time.
And for many reasons, he will definitely visit again.  
Next part
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myfictionaldreams · 7 months
Text
Day 15: Spanking/Flogging - Poly! Marauders
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Summary: Sirius, ever the one to explore the kinky side of life, has bought a new toy which you're a little apprehensive about.
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, foursome (F/M/M/M), polyamory, dom/sub, spanking, sex toy (flogger), punishment, discussion of safe words(!), pain play, overstimulated, begging, crying, praise kink, subspace, aftercare
masterlist 📚 
kinktober masterlist😈 
AO3 Link 
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“So where did you buy this?” was your first question as you stared at the opened package in the middle of the bed.
“I don’t think you want to know, Darling”, Sirius answers suspiciously as he sweetly kisses your cheek. You give him a deadpan look, not liking the answer at all.
“It looks like something from the dungeons, a torture device or something”. Reaching forward, you picked up the object Sirius called a flogger or whip. It had a black handle with a wrist strap and many thin leather strips coming off the end that swayed when you moved it. Inspecting it closely, you weren’t sure what to make of it, especially the leather material, making it seem almost barbaric.
“So what are you supposed to do with this? Swat flys away?” Your wrist twisted and turned as you pretended to swat an imaginary insect, earning a low chuckle from the three men scattered around the room.
Sirius, the closest to you who was sitting next to you on the bed, edged closer to your body until you could feel his warmth against your arm. Gently, he took the flogger from your grip and moved so that his handsome face was only an inch away from yours. His silky voice dropped an octave, “It’s for a certain naughty girlfriend and boyfriends who need a telling-off on their pretty little arses”.
Hearing this, your eyes zone back to the item, eyebrows furrowing as you bit your lip. “I don’t think I’ll ever be naughty enough for this”. Apprehension settled heavily in your stomach as you weren’t sure if you liked the thought of being spanked with something that looked so medieval.
“You know, we’d never use it on you if you didn’t want us to, right?” Remus reassures from where he is leaning against the bedpost with his arms crossed. Your shoulders drop in relief, giving him a thankful smile and nodding your head.
Keeping to their word, the Marauders did not use it on you. However, you were able to watch the flogger being used on the other, more specifically Sirius and James; however, it was mostly the long-haired Marauder that seemed to enjoy it to its full potential.
It was a rare occurrence for one of your boyfriends to receive the punishment in the form of being spanked, but over the recent months, it seemed that Remus, James and Sirius were willing to permit the punishments to each other and not just for you. Usually, it was because Sirius had done a prank without consulting the others, and hence, the rest of the Marauders got into trouble. For James, it was falling behind on his schoolwork because he was too busy practising his quidditch. Everyone tried to rally together to enforce the rules that were in place. It may have seemed like a strict regime to others, but it all returned to the dominant and submissive relationship the four of you shared.
You were the submissive of the group and enjoyed the dynamics more than anything, whereas the guys were more dominant, with rare occasions to switch when feeling particularly needy. There were always safe words in place to protect one another, and aftercare was the most crucial thing - next to communication - so all punishments were prediscussed to make sure they were consented to. They always end with sexual rewards or a feeling of euphoria due to the dopamine released with the mixture of pain and pleasure.
James was the first you got to witness with the flogger. He’d started with spanks to the back of his perfectly sculptured thighs that left red hues in the shape of Remus’ palm against his skin. When checking in with him during the punishment, James informed his boyfriends that he could take more, so Sirius took over with his new flogger. You sat cuddled into Remus’ lap, watching with fascination and morbid curiosity as to what the flogger would be like as you’d been thinking about the toy a lot recently.
It didn’t look or sound as scary as you thought, but James still flinched further up the bed, especially as the leather strips had caught the edge of his balls.
“Holy shit”, James grunted, fisting the shits and burying his face into them.
“Colour?” Sirius asked in a steady, clear voice.
“Green”, James confirmed, glancing over his shoulder with a broad grin.
“Good boy, count with me”, Sirius encouraged. James counted each hit with the flogger, suffering and grunting with each of the impacts but then relaxing into the bed in between during his breaks. By the time he reached number 15, James’ arse was streaked pink, and he was now slumped onto the bed, saying his safe word and that he’d probably had enough. Sirius agreed with him, and they proceeded to give him a lot of comfort and aftercare, being careful to tend to his spanked arse.
The following few times that you’d witnessed the flogger in action was with Sirius, who had been showing James and Remus how to use it properly and how much pressure to put between each hit to ensure it wasn’t too painful for the receiver. He even offered to show you how to use it, but you didn’t feel comfortable giving us punishments of any kind; it felt counter-intuitive, especially as all you wanted to do was cuddle and nurture them when they were crying out through the punishments.
Watching Sirius have a punishment was a special experience in of itself. He was so prideful and addicted to his pain kink that he continued to egg his boyfriends on whilst in the midst of having a punishment. After receiving the spanks delivered by a palm, he would boast and say it wasn’t nearly hard enough. This part of him sparked something in Remus, determined to show him that he shouldn’t be so mouthy. Sirius loved to push people, testing them and himself to see just how much he could take before breaking.
This has its own warnings as it could push the limit of the punishments, becoming dangerous, which is why it was crucial for all four of you to be present during these moments, and if someone deemed anything was going too far, it would stop immediately.
This happened the last time that the flogger was used. Sirius’ arse was perked into the air, the skin warm from the spanks and beginning to deepen in colour, but the palm wasn’t enough, and all he kept doing was mock Remus. “You think that’s a punishment? That was more like a love tap”. Remus soon fell for the teasing and found the flogger, using it on each of his round arse cheeks, the sound of the leather strips was louder than when James had experienced it, but from the noises Sirius was making, it was evident he loved every second. The red areas soon began to raise with hints of swelling from the impact, but Sirius continued to beg for more, needed it as if his life depended on it.
It was James who finally stepped in and said it was enough as he was observing Sirius’ face and could see that his eyes were glazed, even though he was grinning, showing all of his teeth. He looked drunk, and it scared the hell out of you as he was rolled onto the bed, body flopping as his mind was lost in his floating consciousness. However, he kept repeating how good it felt, which was then that you noticed that he’d came on Remus’ thigh just from being spanked.
Following this, your curiosity was peaked. Wondered if you would get the same euphoria that Sirius had experienced, and even though you hated the premie and thought of being punished because you were such a people pleaser, the idea of any of the boys being upset or angry with you shook your very core. However, you did like it when they spanked you during sex; when done right, the mix of pain and pleasure always felt so elating, but you were unsure how much pain was too much.
So, one late evening, the four of you were in the library finishing off the latest essay for Charms. Sirius was sitting to your right, James opposite him and Remus to his right, opposite you. You hadn’t written anything down for the last 15 minutes because you kept contemplating a question over and over in your mind until you couldn’t keep it contained anymore.
“Could you spank me with the flogger tonight, please?”
Many things happened at once. Sirius’ head snapped up to face you so quickly that he, in turn, knocked over James’ ink well, which coated his work. On the other hand, James kicked his legs and bashed into Remus’ shin, who then began to wear and rub his shin whilst looking at you like you had two heads.
Your eyes widen at the reaction, looking between the three of them confused.
“Love, you can’t just say things like this in a public space”, Remus chastises as your face heats in embarrassment with his words, looking over your shoulder, forgetting that you were, in fact, in the middle of the library and hadn’t whispered your words at all.
“Sorry”, you mumble, now deciding to be quiet, hiding your face to look sheepishly at the table, hoping none of the other students have overheard. As you stared at the table, you could see James waving his wand over his work, the spilt ink disappearing as he looked disappointedly at Sirius opposite him.
“Thanks for that, Padfoot; now I’ve got to write that entire sentence again”, James grumbled, annoyed, but he didn’t continue with his writing as he looked in your direction, making you look up to meet his stare, which was when you realised that they’re all looking at you.
Trying not to flinch under their intense stares, you lowered in your seat as Sirius leaned closer, his arm circling around the back of your chair. “Were you being serious about the flogger?”
“I thought you were Sirius”, you quip back with a small smile, earning an eye roll from the long-haired man and a ‘nice’ from James. Sighing, you sit further up in your seat and shift closer to Sirius’ side so you’re beneath his shoulder as his hand moves from the back of your chair to your shoulder, drawing idle circles through your white school shirt. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. I don’t want to try the punishment side of it, but after seeing it used on you, Sirius, I kind of want to try it. Maybe I’ll like it, and if I don’t, I’ll just shake my head or say red like I usually would.”
Sirius grins broadly, his eyes blazing as he glances towards Remus and James, who are nodding in contemplation.
Shuffling in your seat, you continued, “So yeah, I just wanted to let you all know because I couldn’t stop thinking about it”. Picking up your quill once more, you move to continue your essay, “Sorry, I’ll stop interrupting your work”.
Of course, your boyfriends couldn’t return to their essay so quickly as Sirius’ hand landed on your thigh, pushing beneath your skirt so that you could feel the bare skin of his palm and the slight calluses on them from where he held the bat in his Beater position in Quidditch. His plump lips dipped to be near your ear, “Oh Darling, if you think we’re going to go back to work after this, you’re sadly mistaken.
You try holding back your smile by biting the inside of your lips, but Sirius doesn’t need your mouth as his head tilted so he could kiss delicately along your jaw. Your body melted into the touch, eyes fluttering closed as you held onto the hand, squeezing the flesh of your thigh.
The two of you were abruptly interrupted by an obnoxiously loud cough, which forced the two of you thoroughly away from one another; however, Sirius kept his hand steady on your thigh. Next to the table stood a sharp-looking woman with your eyes fixed on a spot on the table as the librarian seethed at you and Sirius. “I don’t want any of that nonsense in my library.” Her eyes flick from an ashamed you to a grinning-ferally Sirius, whose eyes sparked with the confrontation. “Pack your things and get out. All of you”, she adds, looking at the other two Marauders.
The librarian leaves as James grumbles, “Thank Merlin for that, " as he packs his parchment and quills away. 
You’re feeling unsettled as you pack away your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and waiting for the others, but then Sirius is at your side again. “I don’t know why you’re looking so glum. I want to get you back to our room and have some fun”.
Before you can even react, he’s spinning you on the spot and hoisting you over his shoulder, causing your bag to drop to the floor and a scream to leave your lips. Thankfully, Remus picked up your bag and placed it over his shoulder as Sirius laughed loudly as he rushed out of the library with the librarian screaming after the two of you.
Eventually, you begged him to put you down as his shoulder dug uncomfortably into your gut, and you were pretty sure that the back of your skirt had lifted enough that you were flashing people. This didn’t stop Sirius from basically dragging you the remainder of the way, his hand clasping yours in a tight grip as you struggled to keep up with his long legs.
However, once in the Gryffindor Common room, you’re once again being lifted onto his shoulders as he raced up the stairs, his strong arms wrapped around your thighs as you have to stare at the stone floor, gripping the back of his shirt for dear life.
You’re then indelicately thrown onto the magically enlarged bed in the dormitory that you shared with the three men. You squeak in shock as you bounce on the mattress a few times.
“Careful with her Pads, Jesus Christ”, James warns, closing the door behind Remus before locking it.
“She’s okay, aren’t you, Darling?” Sirius assured as he wrapped his long fingers around your ankle and tugged you closer, making you scream in shock and then giggle as he crawled between your legs, kissing the space where your shoulder and neck meet. His arms rest on either side of your head as your fingers run through his hair, brushing it out of his pretty face. His mouth opened further to press sensual kisses along the slope of your neck.
James and Remus smile, watching the glee and happiness on your face from where they had moved to sit on either side of the bed. Remus brushes the back of his fingers against your temple, drawing your attention away from Sirius for a moment. “How do you want to do this? Do you want to get straight into it, or do you want to play first?” Remus asks.
Releasing your hold on Sirius’ hair, you grab Remus's hand and play with his scarred fingers before linking them together, squeezing them for comfort. “I think I want to have some fun first, then when you think it’s appropriate, you can start spanking me”.
Remus nods in understanding, squeezing your hand back in response. James then catches your attention as he dips his face so it's the only thing in your eyeline. “So, when you say you want to play…”, he begins to taunt, but his glasses start to slide down his nose, making you laugh and release Remus’ hand to push the frame back up his nose. “Thank you”, he noted before continuing, “Anyway, does that mean I get to have a taste?”
“Be my guest”, you declare, spreading your legs further underneath Sirius, who is still on top of you. Not for long, though, as James tackles him out of the way and drops to his stomach on the bed, face between your legs as he pushes up your skirt.
Each slowly took turns stripping an article of clothing from your body so their mouth, fingers or cock could draw orgasms from you. Your blood warmed with each one, thighs trembling and drenched with sweat and bodily fluids; your most sensitive areas were throbbing and on the edge of being overstimulated, hole arching from clenched so many times and clit thumping with your pounding heartbeat.
Your face was currently slumped against the silky sheets, mouth open and greedily sucking in air against the material. Sirius was behind you on his knees, cock delved deep into your pussy that was suffocating him to perfection. His hands were massaging your arse cheeks, feeling the soft skin, admiring how they moved and testing how ready you were with some light spanks. They jiggled with the impact. A high-pitched squeal bursts from your lips as well from the sharp skin, but you soon rock back onto his cock, melting into the bed so far that you thought you’d fall right through and onto the wood floor beneath.
Sirius smirked arrogantly at your reaction, doing the spank again with more pressure, causing your shrilled tone to lower. “More, give me more, Siri, please!”
“Your wish is my command, Darling”. With increasing strength, he continued to lay spanks to your arse. It felt so good to have the sharp sparks of pain to the fleshy area and the continued poke of his cock stretching your walls.
Not that you were aware of it, but Remus had rummaged through the box beneath the bed that held all of the naughty items Sirius seemed to have collected over time. Sirius held out his hand for the flogger, accepting it and then running the strands over your naked back for a second as a little warning as to what would occur. Arching your back further, you waited for the first blow as Sirius reminded you of what was discussed earlier, “Remember, shake your head or safe word if it's too much or you need a break”.
“Yes, sir”. Just to be safe so that he didn’t accidentally hit his cock, Sirius eased himself out of you and helped you to lie down with a pillow beneath your hips so that they were elevated and pushing your arse further into the air.
“Relax for me. James is just going to touch you a little to keep you in the right mood”, Sirius advised whilst cupping your warm arse cheek. You remained placid on the bed as your boyfriends moved around you. James appeared first, sitting next to you as his hand pushed between the pillow and your mound until he was cupping over your clit, applying the slightest bit of pressure for you to find some pleasure. Remus sat above your head, gently repositioning your head so that it now rested on his naked thigh.
Your thoughts were only consumed by the fingers resting on your bundle of nerves as your hips rocked hard against James, moaning and increasing your arousal.
“That’s it, good girl. Get yourself off on Prongs’ fingers”, Sirius praises before adjusting his position and readying the flogger. It connects with your left arse cheek. You flinch and squeal at the sharpness of the sting but relax down quickly as it wasn’t as painful as you’d first thought, as Sirius had made sure to go lightly on you. However, the burning pain did deepen into the muscle.
It was better than you thought, so a smile stretched across your lips as you nuzzled further into Remus’ thigh and rubbed your clit harder against James’ fingers.
“Well done, you took that so well, Sweetheart. See, it wasn’t that bad, was it? Let's go for a few more”, Sirius encouraged.
The man on his knees flicked his wrists and spanked both of your arse cheeks one after the other in quick succession. He rotates his hand in circles so that the sharp slaps continue to reign down as you moaned and then whined, the pain getting too much in one moment. Noticing the change in your noises, Sirius gave you a break to rub his large hand over the tender area that was hotter to the touch.
“She’s soaked”, James comments, still massaging your clit in slow circles with four of his fingers. The longer that time went on, the further the warmth in your body spread, creating a satisfied, buzzing sensation throughout your limbs and head.
Sirius continued with the strokes, the strings increasing with each whack of the
 flogger, and with each tap, your hips dug in harder to James' fingers. Sirius made sure to give each of your cheeks equal attention, the surface area deepening in shade and raising in slight swelling.
Your gasps weren’t as deep anymore. Instead, you were sucking in quick, shallow breaths to try and keep yourself stable, but it was doing the opposite as you became more light-headed. Sirius had stopped at this point as Remus began to rub his large hand down your spine in long circles. “Slow your breathing down; you’re going to get lightheaded”, Remus instructed with an authoritative tone. You breathed in through your nose until your lungs were full of air and slowly breathed out through your mouth. Eventually, it helped enough that you began to calm down again, not feeling as lucid as before.
“Keep going, please, Siri”, you mumble against the softness of Remus’ thigh. Sirius looked between James and Remus to see if they agreed that you could or even should continue, but they all nodded as you smiled lazily over your shoulder.
‘Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack’,
Sirius’ wrist continued to rotate, bringing the flogger’s leather strips to contact against your arse. You’re cringing away more, but the burn and the fingers on your clit felt so good it was almost impossible for you to explain how you felt. It was like a perfect balance; the drenching of the sheets beneath your pussy was evidence enough as to how much you were enjoying it. 
Further, you fell into the floating sensation, as if you were weightless. Even though the pain was still increasing, you didn’t want it to stop; you could keep going at this for hours and hours and hours.
“That’s enough”, Remus's voice cuts through the repetitive throughs repeating in your mind as you frown.
In a pathetic whimper, you begged, “No, don’t stop”. You try and wiggle your hips to entice the boys in, but your body is depleted of energy.
“Love, you’re crying. It’s enough”, Remus explained.
‘You were?’ you thought, having previously mistaken the wetness on your face for sweat. Opening your mouth, you tried to take another deep breath like before but realised that your chest was raking with quiet sobs.
James removed his fingers from beneath you and moved off the bed as Remus cradled your face lovingly with a calm touch with his thumb against your cheekbone. “Shhh, you’re okay. The pain is going to stop. You’ve been so good for us”. Remus continues to speak but at a much softer tone, hoping it will calm you down.
“But, I don’t want it to stop; it feels so good”, you say in a bratty tone, all high-pitched and whiny. “I feel so warm and floaty”, a hiccup bubbles from your throat.
“Ah”, Sirius begins talking from behind you, “Should have anticipated this - Oh, thanks, Prongs” he moves aside and allows James to place a wet, cold cloth onto your arse cheek, which causes your body to olt in shock. Shiving from the touch, it also helped scare you into a small reset, the cries stopping.
Remus begins to move out from underneath you, replacing his wet thigh with a soft, comfortable pillow for your head to lie on. Sirius shuffles up the bed so he is lying beside you. “You feeling a little bit spacey, Darling?” Your eyes were closed as you nodded, referring to the submissive headspace you quickly slipped into that made you feel this way, not knowing when something was becoming too painful and needing the others to help you through your vulnerability. “I thought you were”, Sirius continues whilst cupping your cheek, which you immediately nuzzle into.” “Hey, can you drink this for me? It’s ok, I’ll help you; I’ve got a straw”.
Opening your mouth, Sirius directed the straw for you to drink the glass of water Remus had gotten for you. “Well done, you wanna open your eyes for me?” Sirius asks once you’ve finished drinking.
“Too tired”, you say in an exhausted voice.
“Okay, well, how about you eat this chocolate for Remus before stares a hole through my head and James is going to rub some lotion onto the sore area. Afterwards, we’ll try to get some sleep; how does that sound?”
You’re now officially too tired to reply, so just resort to nodding your head. Opening your mouth, Remus feeds you the rich, thick chocolate he has stored in his bedside cabinet as the wet cloth is removed, and James carefully wipes some cooling gel into your arse.
“It’s ok, you’re doing so well”, Sirius encourages, still lying beside you. “Here, let’s get you covered up”. From behind him, Sirius finds a blanket that he folds in half and carefully places over your back, being careful not to be ruined by the lotion. As you’d finished the chocolate, you almost immediately passed out. You’d be sore in the morning, but certain lotions and potions could aid with this that one of the boys could go and steal from the supply cupboard, and you were more than sure that this whole night had awakened something new within your submissive, kinky brain.
1K notes · View notes
starry-bi-sky · 4 months
Text
More clone^2 snippets
Snippet 12: hands
Lancer: dear god, Mr. Fenton, what happened to your hands!?
Danny, had a run in with Damian’s katana and both of his hands have stitches: um… cooking… accident. I can’t use them that much currently
Lancer, pale: right, yes, of course. You may have one of your friends right you notes until they are properly healed
————
Snippet 13: more hands (and dash is a dick)
Dash: I bet Fenturd’s just faking his hand injury to get out of doing class work. Getting out of classwork is my thing! I’ll show him.
Danny, minding his own business:
Dash, yanks on his fingers harshly: Freak! Did you think you could copy me and het away with it?
Danny, his stitches torn from the way Dash grabbed him: you’re the last person I’d want to copy Dash, let go.
Dash: we all know you’re faking the hand injury, there’s no way you’d— you’d—
(Danny’s hands are bleeding, and starting to smear on Dash’s hands.)
Danny, (fake) calmly: you were saying, Dash?
Dash: I - uh—
Danny: thanks for opening them up, jerk.
—————
Snippet 14: Danny is Bruce’s Clone and Bruce Wayne has been hottest man alive for many consecutive years
The A-Lister Girls are at a sleepover
Star: Never have I ever had a crush on Danny Fenton
All girls (including Star): puts a finger down
A-List Girl: Paulina put your finger down
Paulina, begrudgingly putting a finger down: he shouldn’t count - he’s a loser!
A-List Girl: he’s still the cutest boy in our grade. Put your damn finger down.
—————
Snippet 15: unstoppable force vs immovable object
(In the Clone Danny Au, since Danny is not a ghost Valerie doesn’t see Phantom as the guy who ruined her life, but a very exhausted vigilante trying his best. They’re allies with conflicting ideologies on how to handle ghosts.)
Red Huntress: are you kidding me, Phantom? You dragged a kid in with you to fight ghosts? I thought you were better than that
Wraith, offended: *opening his mouth*
Phantom, tiredly putting a hand over Damian’s mouth: *in ASL + one hand* you don’t think I tried to stop him?
Red Huntress: he’s a child, Phantom, how hard could it be?
Phantom: looks down at Wraith
Wraith: looks up at Phantom with the eyes of a hundred enraged bulls
Phantom, kneeling down to Wraith and pulling his mask up to show his mouth: *whispering inaudibly*
Wraith: *takes off in the opposite direction*
Phantom, standing up to Red: *ASL* well? go get him
————
Snippet 16: identity
(Danny and Damian are sitting on a rooftop, in the middle of a break from patrol. Damian sits between Danny’s legs and Danny is slumped over Damian’s back.)
Damian, playing with Danny’s fingers:
Danny: who are you?
Damian: Damian.
Danny: who are you not?
Damian: Damian Wayne.
Danny: do you have to be?
Damian: no.
Danny: who do you have to be?
Damian: I just have to be me.
Danny: who are you?
Damian: I’m Damian.
Danny: good.
Damian:
Danny:
Damian: who are you?
Danny, smiling: Danny
—————
Snippet 17: long hair
(In the Clone Danny Au, Danny’s hair goes to his shoulders. I was in a GNC mood at the time the au was made and it passed on to Danny.)
Tucker: are you going to cut your hair, Danny? It’s getting long.
Danny, laying against the bed frame with Sam doing his hair: probably to get the dead ends cut off. I like it long.
Sam: I like it long too.
Tucker: you like it long because he lets you do whatever you want to it
Sam: it’s also a stand against the oppressive stereotype that men can’t have long hair and must always have it short in order to appear masculine! Danny’s showing individuality and sticking it to the patriarchy at the same time!
Danny: and because I let you do whatever you want to it.
Sam, making a punk hairdo for danny: yea that too
——————
Snippet 18: Danny is Bruce Wayne’s clone and Bruce——
Danny, getting stuff from his locker: my parents have a new ‘Fenton anti-ghost sticky bomb’ they’re working on and—
Student with a photography camera: Hey, Fenton!
Danny, looking over: what?
Student: *snaps a photo* thanks!
Student walks away
Danny:
Tucker:
Sam:
Danny: so… um…. Is that- is that another Wes? Should I be worried?
Sam: you should be angry! He just took your picture without your consent! That’s a violation of your bodily autonomy.
Danny: we can keep an eye on it, Sam, and if it becomes an issue then I’ll report it to a teacher.
Danny: and as I was saying, I can’t wait to have to make sure that that doesn’t hurt anyone.
Danny: i love having to stay up late sabotaging my parents’ inventions. Yay…
—————
Snippet 19: Danny is Bruce’s clone and—
Wes: ranting about how Phantom = Danny and how there’s proof and he has it and—
Random Student from his photography club: you wanna kiss him so bad it makes you look stupid.
Wes: I do nOT
Student: Its okay Wes, so does literally everyone else.
—————
Snippet 20: Lookalike
Danny: the only good thing about being Bruce Wayne’s clone is that my Brucie Wayne Impression is spot on
Damian: what??
Danny: my Brucie Wayne impression. It shouldn’t be as fun as it is doing it
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eratosmusings · 20 days
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Stolen Destiny (III)
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summary: your limits are pushed until something snaps
warnings: adults only, all characters are over 18, smut in future chapters, blood, misogyny, dark themes, canon typical violence
word count: 2k
previous chapter / dividers / masterlist
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Feyd-Rautha is in your dreams again. Black teeth, barking laugh. But it’s not the same. Eyes alight with something you don’t understand. Dress heavy and clinging. Nails dragging down your wet skin. Dagger in your hand pressing against his throat. Poisoned words on his lips. “You wear blood well, my darling.” His image fades as hands cup your cheeks.
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The day that follows is endless. Finalizing preparations for the coming days of events. Fielding requests from the minor houses for a moment of your time. A meeting over concerns of recent tectonic activity that your absent father is supposed to attend. Two more run throughs of the dance. The swordmaster demands two more after dinner.
Irulan is entangled in conversation with Duke Leto throughout the meal. Nauseously you wonder when an engagement will be announced. It was the destiny the Atreides had stolen. Paul would be Emperor and you would be nothing but a disappointment. Your father toasts to how proud he is of the woman you’ve grown into. There’s no truth in it. You can only blink at the lemon tart that’s served for dessert as he promises he’s prepared a fun few days ahead. 
When the meal is over you do not seek Fandral. You do the opposite and duck out of his sight at the first opportunity. He knows you’re supposed to return to the Small Hall and practice again. As comforting as his presence has been, you don’t want comfort or encouragement or protection. You want to stab something. Repeatedly.
The training yard is empty. The weapons are locked away, but you have the dagger Feyd-Rautha had gifted. You’d carried it with you throughout the day. Tucked away into the deep pockets of the borrowed gowns. You aren’t sure why today you felt the need to have it and not any other. Maybe you knew you’d need it. Or maybe you made the need for it because you had it. Either way, it serves your purpose.
The mannequin takes the blade with little resistance. It was natural in your hand. No matter how much or little pressure you use, it doesn’t slip and slice your palm like others do. A well made dagger.
You flick on the mannequin’s shield to test how well it handles the added strain.
“I am glad to see you enjoying my gift.”
There’s little resistance as you sink it into the stomach of the mannequin. “I am sick of pleasantries and pandering, na-Baron. Leave me be.”
Feyd-Rautha is predictable. You knew he would follow. You know he’ll take the chance to attack.
There’s the slightest whoosh of air that warns you. You evade the blade in his hands by millimeters, dodging to the right. You push the mannequin towards him. It knocks into him, unbalancing him for a moment long enough to twist your own shield on. His black grin is wide again as he recovers and stands tall. The dagger he carries isn’t much different from his gifted one. The handle thicker and longer, a few teeth in the blade, but from what you can glimpse it’s clear they had been made by the same hands. 
He lunges, expecting your evasion and slices at where your throat goes. He’s too fast and it bounces off. You counter with a jab to his arm, slow enough that it strains his shield. He doesn’t give it the time to penetrate as his blade comes back again.
The dance continues. Both of you manage to knick the other occasionally. You feel blood seeping from a slash across your chest and more from one along your back. He has two along his arms and one on his hip. You’ve held well, but he is taller and stronger and you feel yourself begin to falter.
“Growing tired, my lady?” he teases as you barely dodge another attack. 
“As would you under the weight of this dress.”
“I have no objection to you removing it.” He’s quick even after the extended duel. He strikes, and in your attempt to get away, he catches your hand and turns your shield off. The humming of his shield silences as you're pulled and turned until your back meets his chest. His blade is against your neck with a familiar chill and fingers digging into your hip. “Though it may tempt me into distraction.”
An unfamiliar fire blooms with the confession. “Careful what you share, na-Baron. I might use that sort of information against you one day.” Something twitches against your lower back.
“Let her go.”
The hand gripping your hip, the blade at your throat, and the warmth on your back are gone in an instant. You’ve never heard The Voice before, but it’s unmistakable. It’s not even directed at you, but your mind blurs and your body is pliant, as if waiting for its own command to follow. Fandral’s face blocks your view. He’s questioning if you’re alright, if you feel faint or dizzy. You can’t answer. It’s as if you're treading through the water again. 
You’re turned and pulled again, but now you’re separated from Feyd-Rautha by your guard and Paul Atreides. The heirs point their blades at each other. Paul accuses him of taking and hurting you. As if you were some helpless damsel.
“Stop,” you say. It’s too quiet, your mouth numb. Fandral shushes you and tries to lead you away. You try again, louder, “Stop!”
Neither heir moves.
“I asked him to spar.” It’s only a half lie. Paul’s tense pose eases as he finally breaks his gaze off Feyd-Rautha. “I wasn’t taken. He didn’t hurt me.” Paul's eyes dip to your chest. “Not anymore than I did him, anyways.”
Fandral questions, “In an evening dress? Alone?”
“It is when she is most vulnerable.” Feyd-Rautha has lost his smile. “Given her security leaves much to be desired at the best of times.”
You can feel the loathing radiating from Fandral. But there is no denial.
You nod at your former opponent “Thank you for your time, na-Baron. It was very enlightening.”
“It was a pleasure, my lady. You fight like a Harkoneen.”
The fire he lit burns brightly on your cheeks.
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“What was the point in asking for a personal guard?” Fandral huffs when you’ve returned to the palace. His jacket is around your shoulders to cover the slice in the back of your dress. He’d wanted you to see the doctor, worried again about poison, but you refused. “If you wanted to train, you should have asked me.”
“Or me,” Paul says on your other side. “He could have hurt you.” He doesn’t recognize the condescension of his concern.
“That was the point.” You have to stop yourself from touching the wound on your chest. “How am I supposed to know training has been effective if I’ve never faced real consequences?”
Fandral scolds, “If you stay with your guard, you’ll never be in a situation where you have to find out if it’s effective.” He shakes his head, pushing the door to the Small Hall open. It was the compromise he relented to. No doctor visit if you came here. 
“You’re late,” the swordmaster calls out from where he stands in the middle of the room with a guard you recognize as one the Atreides’. His eyes travel across your mussed form. “I hope the other person looks worse than you.” 
“He doesn’t.” 
You glare at Fandral as the swordmaster decides that is a personal offense against his training and decides that practice will be doubled for it. It’s only as you look for the woman who always carries your swords that you realize she’s not there. None of the others are. But Paul still is.
“I shall see you tomorrow?” You hope he understands it’s a dismissal.
The question amuses him. “I intended to practice with you tonight.”
“With me?”
He smiles as if you’re missing something obvious.
The dance isn’t silly anymore. Fandral had been right. It does tell a story. One of submission. 
There are no troubadours, only the sole Atrides guard who plucks at the strings of a Baliset. Your feet move in the familiar pattern, hilts of the swords bouncing against your hips.
Even without the additional instruments you recognize the melody. The blades gnash against their sheaths in protest as you pull them free. They shriek in the air, spinning easily between your fingers. Faster and faster they spin until the music nearly dies.
Once, twice you clink the blades’ together before you stab one into the plush stool. Fandral claps to the beat the drums usually play as you turn your back to it. The sword that remains drags its tip against the stone floor. Sparks follow when you twist quickly.
Paul stands there now, sword pulled free. He brings it in front of him as he drops into a defensive stance. The Baliset begins again now you fight. Thrust, retreat, parrie, circle, advance, lunge, parrie, retreat, parrie, parrie. On and on it goes until he flicks the sword out of your hand. You take the hand he offers and spin into him as the music reaches a subdued crescendo. Chest heaving, you stay there and stare into the eyes of the person who has taken everything from you until the music and the last of your dignity finally dies.
Three more times you are subjected to the humiliation. It will be once more tomorrow.
When Paul and his guard are gone, jolly at the surprise they’d sprung on you, you round on the swordmaster. He answers your unspoken question. “Your father did not want you to know until the last possible moment.”
“Perhaps you should wait until morning,” Fandral attempts to persuade you as he shadows you down the empty corridors. “Or at least remove your swords?” You don’t bother with a response. 
The guards stationed outside his door attempt to stop you, but you’re quick to dip under their arms and push into the room. You're unsurprised to find a courtesan in his bed. There’s a scandalized shout from her and curses from him as they scramble to cover themselves.
“Get out,” you tell her. 
Your father objects, but she is quick to comply. She pulls her dress from the floor and slips into it with practiced ease. She’s gone within a minute. The door closes behind her.
“You’ve gotten bold,” he growls.
“Why didn’t you want me to know?”
With a huff he says, “Because you wouldn’t have done it if you did. I told the Atridies you’d be too shy to do it if you knew and the boy thought it was enduring.”
“Why have me dance with him at all?”
He shrugs. “It was their suggestion.”
You stare at him. He’s pathetic. “You were wrong,” you tell him, bile on your tongue. “I would have done it if you asked. I would’ve done anything for you.” You leave before he sees the tears slide down your cheeks.
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Feyd-Rautha doesn’t have a chance to visit you that night. Sleep never comes. Anger too potent to allow any rest.
When morning comes the maids work on making you presentable. There’s comments on the bags under your eyes and the new scar across your chest. You let them cover the former, but insist on keeping the latter. “Your father won’t like it,” one cautions. You're not inclined to care what he likes anymore. It’s something they soon realize.
They’re hesitant to style your hair in the way you instruct, but relent. Then the dress they offer, another of his choosing, is refused. You see their realization when you tell them what you’ll wear instead. Their efforts to sway you are in vain as you threaten to leave the room as bare as the day you were born.
Fandral stops in the doorway after the maids leave. “You look…”
You're still standing in front of the mirror. The dress is lilac, frilly and feminine in a way you’ve never been allowed. Your hair is braided, save for the pieces that frame your face. You look soft. Delicate. Like a painting that had been tucked away when you asked too many questions.
“Like my mother.” 
There’s only one thing missing. The rogue lies abandoned on the vanity. It’s vivid enough that a single dab of the brush colors both your cheeks.
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your thoughts & reblogs are appreciated!
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eternity-death · 19 days
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I would like to give out some technical cyborg tips for people who write Boothill!!!
Cyborg ≠ Robot. Robots are entirely machine (SCREWLLUM is a robot)… a cyborg is part human part machine. And when I say part human I am SPECIFICALLY talking about the brain. A cyborg is literally a human brain encased in a mechanical body. There could be nothing organic in the body— no skin, bones, veins, nerves, etc— but as long as there is a human brain running it, it is still a cyborg. Boothill’s head is almost entirely organic— but his eyes were probably tinkered with and given enhancements.
Do cyborgs need sleep? Yes. A human brain is still a human brain, and the brain NEEDS sleep to function. However, they may not need to sleep as often as a normal human does.
Do cyborgs need to eat? Yes (Kind of)!! Again, it’s a human brain, and the brain needs nutrients or it will begin to eat itself. Now, HOW the nutrients is acquired is subjective. Some cyborgs may eat normally, while some might have other ways to receive the nutrients they need. How? Not sure. Maybe they have a reserve somewhere in their body that supplies nutrients to the brain.
Do cyborgs need to bathe? Also subjective. It probably depends on how much of the cyborg’s body has been altered. If it’s still mostly organic then yeah, probably. But in Boothill’s case he might just need to spiff it up every now and then (kind of like washing a car), there’s probably special treatments for bodies like his. He does have to wash his hair regularly, though. “Can he get wet?” I think he can handle a few splashes/travel in the rain, but I’m not sure if he can submerge himself in a body of water.
Can cyborgs feel physical touch? THIS is subjective, but honestly, I don’t think they can. We have receptors in our body that allow us to feel things— I don’t think you can replicate that in a mechanical body. I do think he has special sensors that can perceive the closeness of a foreign object/another person, but I don’t think he can FEEL them.
Anyways, that’s all for now. Hope this helps!!!
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lancermylove · 24 days
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Things You Do That He Doesn't Understand (HC)
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
Pairing: Leaders with fem!Reader
Warning: None
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Wake up at an ungodly hour so that you can do your hair and makeup before going to work or school. You are not going to a party or a modeling show, so just use those hours to rest. Honestly, it's okay if your hair isn't perfect and your face looks natural.
Collecting anything. Leona can't understand how you have so much patience managing a collection of items. However, he finds it a little amusing when you agonize over not being able to find that miniature pizza to put in your mini kitchen collection.
Shapewear. Do you honestly like the feel of someone squeezing your organs out of your body? If so, just ask him for a hug. Leona will be more than happy to give you a bone-crushing hug.
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Complex hair routine. Malleus likes to watch you do your hair, but it makes his head spin. Why do you need 50 different products for your hair? You look fine without putting those products in your hair.
Fear of abandoned places. Why are you scared to go into the castle that looks like something will jump out at you from the corner at any moment and attack you? It's really not that scary, says a powerful dragon who is over 200 cm tall.
Need for fluff. He finds it amusing that whenever you see fluffy things, you absolutely have to touch them no matter what, even if it means crossing a pit filled with lava. Sometimes, he wants to wear a fluffy coat so that you stay glued to him and can't stop touching him his coat.
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Shave only half of your legs. Just take a few minutes to shave your entire legs.
Going to sleep with makeup on. NO, just NO! How dare you commit such an atrocious crime against your skin? He knows you might be tired, but take five minutes to clean your face or call him. He will do it for you. Vil better not find your face transferred on your pillow when he walks into your room to wake you up in the morning.
Telling your best friend/girlfriends everything. Do they honestly need to know how good he is at kissing or anything else? That's between the two of you, so why do you have to tell them? Vil finds it embarrassing that you are discussing such private affairs with your female friends.
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Large handbags. Some of the handbags you carry are half his size. Why do you need such a huge bag? Are you hiding a pet or child in there? Also, why is it so heavy? Do you have dumbbells inside?
Expandable stomach. Riddle can't understand how, in the morning, your stomach looks one way, but after dinner, you look like you expecting a child. You tried to explain to him that's how women's stomachs work, but he still can't wrap his head around it.
Long nails. How do you keep your nails so long and manage to do things, especially if your nails are the lengths of claws? Whenever you struggle to open a can tab or pick up a flat object from a table, Riddle crosses his arms and waits to lecture you.
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Worry about weight. Why worry about numbers when you could just enjoy eating? Food is too good to resist, so don't fight the urge and enjoy your life!
Impeccable memory. How do you remember what he said fifty days ago when the two of you were talking in the evening? Does your brain have a date/time stamp log with all the conversations you had? This means he can't get away with anything. T_T
Multitasking. How do you manage to do so many things at once and not mess up? Kalim can't understand why your mind is able to handle so many computations at once; he can't even handle one thing at a time. He doesn't know whether to be impressed or be scared.
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Spend hours in the bathroom. Why does it take you a few hours to come out of the bathroom? Do you just sit there and watch an entire movie? If you do, why not just do it on your bed or sofa? It's much more comfortable.
The number of shoes. Why do you have 500 million shoes? Also, can we talk about high heels? Why do you wear them? Azul can't even understand how Vil and some of the other students are able to walk around in killer high heels. Unless you use them as a self-defense weapon.
Math is scary. What? It's just a bunch of numbers that you need to add, divide, subtract, or multiply. What's so hard about it? Then, he remembers he has a special talent for doing mental math and that not everyone is able to. Azul apologizes.
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The urge to party every weekend. Why do you want to party every weekend? No, wait, why do you want to party in general? Too many people everywhere. Too many eyes and ears on you.
Details. Why do you need to ask the whys? He told you the truth, did he? Then why do you still need details? Can't you just accept the simple answer and let him move on?
Crying while watching romance movies. It's just a bunch of actors acting, so why are you crying? Seeing your tears fazes him quite a bit. So, when you start crying during an emotional scene, Idia gets startled and freezes, not knowing what to do.
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➣ Twisted Wonderland [1][2][3] ➣ Main Masterlist
➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open ➣ HC/Scenario Requests: Closed || Quick Ask Requests: Closed || GIF Requests: Closed
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pinkrelish · 10 months
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𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
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rockstar!eddie x assistant!fem!reader
✶Tossed to the wolves of touring lifestyle, you'd had enough of Corroded Coffin's backstage antics one night after a show, and try to escape to the bus for fresh air. Eddie follows.✶
NSFW — 18+ drug/alcohol mention/use, eddie spits whiskey in reader's mouth, sexual themes, crude jokes, enemies to lovers vibes, secret soulmates au
[wc: 8.8k]
↳ standalone gift oneshot for the i will wait series written by @abibliophobiaa, @blueywrites, @breddiemunson, @myosotisa, @fracturedarkness
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The methodical chaos—the mechanical creep of soundscape under the drums punching through your body, building to something bigger—ended forty-nine minutes and twelve seconds ago, and like the suspended chords he loved so dearly, you were left with a sense of foreboding.
Stage lights dimmed off. You were on the clock. Showtime.
Babysitter. Handler. Assistant who knew better than to offer him water.
Nerves holstered your shoulders. Unease twisted your stomach. Your ears rang, your teeth ached. Your jaw clenched in throbs off tempo from your heartbeat running wild on the adrenaline feeding the racing pulse hammering in your chest.
The concert was over, but the noise never stopped.
Inside the venue’s backstage room, abrasive bursts of laughter collapsed in excited chatter after an individual cocked back an object, and threw it.
The true night began.
A mostly empty beer bottle smacked its intended target in an echoey clang, and fell in a spray of foam. Fine. You could handle that. Then someone grabbed a plastic chair with metal legs, hoisted it over their shoulder, and chucked it, stumbling after the trajectory in the sloppy way drug-encouraged drunkenness would imply. A cacophony of too-loud cheering was caught on tape by a sound engineer’s personal Sony camcorder, flattening himself against the wall to capture the reaction to the CRT TV dropping from its shelf in the corner, stage live feed long since dead. On its fateful descent, it clipped the edge of an EXIT sign, which now dangled by its chord like a pinata, becoming the next target.
The beige brick room dampened outside interference and amplified the rest, living between yours ears alongside the snappy demands, rude remarks, and crude jokes. Spoken down to, disregarded like caked dirt between boot treads. Anxieties buzzing, looming a presence at the back of your mind, always. On edge.
Shouts, thuds, broken glass. People had the sense to duck, and cower. A side table was lifted, and heaved in a barbaric yell. Beer bottle after beer bottle after beer bottle. Chair legs ripped off, slick from the boozy bubbles coating the floor, and hurled at the red blinking sign. A lamp from another room. An ugly trash can. A hairdryer. The telephone you used to make a phone call thirty-two minutes and forty-three seconds ago; ripped from the wall with its receiver, and added to the clutter of projectiles. A bucket of melted ice, nailed head-on, splashing two dots of cold water on your cheek.
Expendable bottles were gone, but the riot didn’t stop. Another case was ripped into. Hard liquor traded hands. White powder stung noses, earning bloodshot eyes. Rewards. Rowdy shoving. Boys will be boys behavior.
An unopened Pabst whizzed past your head, slammed like a bullet into the mirror on the opposite wall, launching itself in a jet of built-up pressure across the room, ending its route at the toe of your heeled shoes seemingly just to ruin your wool-blend Express pencil skirt with hoppy liquid.
Eddie kicked the can away.
He circled his thumb and forefinger up the sides of his nose, and sniffed hard. “Want some?” he asked as he leaned on the wall with you, posture lax and open in all the ways your crossed arms weren’t. You cut your glare to the clear bottle he offered you. His grip obscured most of it, but you could see a worrying amount of whiskey had already been drunk when it crested the sides between his middle and ring finger.
Remembering to answer, you shook your head. The amber liquid sloshed with his tut, “Suit yourself,” and two deep gulps bobbed his throat.
You weren’t opposed to drinking when around him, but you learned your inebriated lesson four stops ago when the bill from the hotel totaled a stomach dropping amount, and as much as alcohol made it easier to tolerate Eddie in particular, your sluggish tongue slurring over an authoritative reminder of the early start to the morning to make it to the next city on time only fueled his defiant attitude. Pink puckered skin marked the stitches he snipped out of his upper arm with a pair of nail scissors after he and Gareth decided to smash the Hilton’s wine glasses for fun, and was surprised when a sliver of glass bit him back. Under his stringy bangs was an angry red scab from yesterday’s mic throttle to his forehead at the end of a verse, screaming his voice to the point of cracking with emotion. Other self-destructive tendencies coated his knuckles in dried blood.
It was a lot to deal with.
Today’s toll was one ruined guitar, a broken bass after the fretboard was stabbed into an amp, a bent hi-hat stand, and a completely deboned keyboard; keys removed thoroughly by the sole of someone’s boot scraping them clean off in the midst of performance. Blowing off steam, Eddie called it. Boys will be boys, one of the returning tour managers shrugged at you.
So far, it was one of the lighter days of tour—
You flinched.
A loud pop flickered through the room. One of two fluorescent lights shattered, and the tube swung down from the ceiling, becoming the next victim to a corner store ham sandwich being thrown at it.
Staying as small as possible, the emotional support water bottle in your hand crinkled as you hiked your fists further up your biceps, eyeing the camera man in the corner. Your employer tilted his head at the sight too, admiring, perhaps, the scene of two guys puffing on cigars. They stood behind two young women dressed in short jean skirts and hot pink tops, leering over their shoulders as the camcorder zoomed in on the obvious body parts a crowd of men would be interested in. The cigars bounced in their mouths as they spoke an unheard instruction in the chaos surrounding you, and the halter tops came off, breasts dropping to the tune of their girlish giggles. The men cupped their palms around the assets, and bounced them as if they were weighing fruit. From their gross laughs, it appeared they were rating the groupies, and the ladies were just happy to be on camera, pouting their lips and arching their backs.
You drew a line from their tits to Eddie’s gaze, hating the sick kick of anticipation knotting your stomach, aware you shouldn’t care for an entire phonebook’s list of reasons if he was watching them with interest. But with clarity, you realized he wasn’t paying them attention at all. His lazy smile was aimed over the rim of his bottle, full lips moving in a goad to the mass of crew members clogging the doorway.
More property ready to be damaged entered over their heads. A couch. An entire fucking couch was carried, stood on its end, and lobbed at the sign, breaking loose a length of red and yellow wires. But it still held strong. Tenacious thing.
Two grown men wrestled beside you. Their sleeveless shirts tangled, riding up to show purpled bruises on their backs—one from a mic stand thrown at him, the other from who fucking knows what. At least Gareth’s was in the shape of a crescent moon.
You shifted closer to Eddie to get away from their kicking feet, and relaxed the frustration from your brows before he commented on it. He, likewise, was bumped into by his friends, but his stature didn’t waver. That’s just how it was. Your bodies were near enough for you to feel the heat radiating off his hot skin, but the moment his sticky elbow made contact with your nice blouse—forever marking it with oily sweat—he earned an apology from Jeff who fell into him, meanwhile you were increasingly worried about receiving a tennis shoe to the ankle.
Exhaling an overdue sigh, you glanced sideways at Eddie to gauge if this was an appropriate time to remind him he should shower and get ready to greet the fans waiting outside the venue, but your breath crumbled to a groan. An eager grin cracked his face, almost manic if it weren’t for his heavy-lidded brown eyes. An idea.
He stepped forward. Everything that wasn’t his tight lips on the bottle of whiskey was ignored; downing what he could in a long swallow, and shaking off his pinched features as it burned past his gritted teeth. He raised the rest over his head, and aimed. Perfectly. The sign smacked the wall from the force behind his pitch, spinning wildly on its cord, slinging the front EXIT display clean off, and dropping lower from the ceiling, ready to sever ties. Shouts for its demise pounded your headache. Many palms clapped the back of Corroded Coffin’s frontman. He held out his hand to his audience, and a fresh bottle of whiskey was produced into his grasp.
Intuitively, employees shuffled to avoid his uncoordinated steps backwards, but you didn’t have the luxury of options, thus he misjudged the distance to the wall and ran into it, and you.
Your poor toes were the first to scream out, stuck under his heavy heel. His elbow jutted into your stomach, digging the sharp corner of your laminated backstage pass into your sternum. Even better, his shoulder mashed your nose, and you didn’t twist your head in time to keep your mouth from coming in contact with his bare tricep, getting a lick of stale salt on your inner lip, and a whiff of boy scent assaulting your nose after his deodorant stopped working hours ago. Too much of his weight depended on you to keep him upright, so you grunted out, “Fucking—Eddie,” and pushed him when others wouldn’t. Laying your hands on him in annoyance when no one else dared. He wouldn’t remember it in the morning, anyway.
Eddie followed his stumble through, and spun around. “Whoops!” he said to you in a smile—a viciously sincere thing, betraying his status over you with a genuine shine to his heavy eyes. So innocent behind his sleepy blink, long lashes fluttering, fine lines creasing at the droopy corners from the happy grin teasing his dimple into coming out, freckled nose bathed in hues of pinky red darker than the places he chewed on his bottom lip. He appeared so earnest, so charming despite his current condition, that when his dilated pupils swallowed the rim of bitter coffee brown, you lapsed in staying alert, becoming enamored by his ability to steal the noise from the room when his gaze swept your expression in a slow study. Tender, almost. If he were anyone else.
That’s why it hurt more when the comradery in his features were a trick of the light, and you were reminded of your position as his paid bitch killjoy.
The uncorked bottle of whiskey made itself known under your nose. “Want some?” he asked with kindness he did not possess, easing into a higher register to lift the question to you. Knowing. Mocking.
You swatted his hand away, and answered flatly, “No.”
It was coming. You didn’t have to be looking at him to see his face slide into dull neutrality, dry mouth and wicked tip of his tongue swiping over the back of his teeth. The displeasure was felt. Living, breathing. Fracturing your resolve like the second lamp thrown against the wall.
“Y’sure? You look like you could use a drink to loosen that stick up your ass, and have a little fun.”
Maybe it was the fact Eddie’s day started with him bitching at you for waking him up, when yours started hours earlier, rebooking his hotel rooms after being banned from the chain after last week’s incident. Maybe it was his snide tone when he demanded coffee, and you glanced at the lobby’s carafe on instinct, only to be immediately humiliated in front of the interviewer who was sitting opposite him, festering an indignant response under your skin all day. You weren’t even intending it to be for him, you weren’t stupid enough to serve him such pedestrian coffee, you were thinking about getting it for yourself. Stupid fuckhead. Maybe it was the hours you spent oscillating between enjoying the travel to new places you’d never been, and wondering if the price of him getting this riled up whenever he pleases was worth it. Maybe it was the nauseous haze flogging the room from the cigars. Maybe it was the channeled aggression from the three guys who flipped over the fold out tables for no reason, sending plastic cups of backwash tequila across the floor. Maybe it was the collateral damage the venue was going to seek. Maybe it was the three days of disaster challenging your professionalism. Or maybe it was Eddie’s next comment which pushed you over the edge.
“If alcohol doesn’t do it for you, there’s prob’ly some guy who hasn’t left the parking lot yet, maybe he can loosen you up.” And to further imbue disrespect behind his comment, he leaned in and feathered the low dip of his raspy voice over the shell of your ear, speaking so quietly the syllables had trouble catching, “But if you fuck ‘im on the bus, I wanna watch.”
The sign snapped and crashed onto the heap of damp valuables, inciting a louder celebration from those participating.
You dropped your water bottle where you stood, and skimmed past Eddie on your way out. A firm departure with seething eyes aimed straight ahead. Chin strong, moving past him with a message. “Go to hell.”
And your backbone faltered when the mass of roadies blocked your exit. Security guards with big bodies jumped, rejoicing. Lanky lighting techs downed their beers and threw them over the small crowd with no aim. Your shoulders collapsed, tucking your arms to yourself. Avoiding elbows, meaty arms with enough muscle to floor you, testosterone laced boys will be boys behavior with a heavy dose of uppers. A wall of men who ignored your plea spoken so loud in your voice which did not carry.
But they obeyed the tattooed arm beside you. Minded the obnoxious rings when rapping on a man’s arm. Heard the hoarse voice commanding them all into a single file line for you to squeeze by, “Give her some room,” and their big bodies were already hugging the other side of the hallway with a laughed apology—to him, not you.
You shuffled out as dignified as possible, knees stiff and weight focused on the balls of your feet to avoid slipping on the tile. It was embarrassing enough as is being trailed with a bottle at your back—a far cry from a heroic palm guiding you forward—and his need to overtake you in a single stride. Eddie shot his other hand out and pointed down an unoccupied corridor, in essence blocking you from leaving. Not that you had much fight left in you to argue after being awake for twenty-one hours, thirteen minutes, and fifty-two seconds. You followed the lead he set for you.
Scarce lighting shone down on the two double doors leading outside, leaving the alcove he chose cast in a darkness your eyes had to adjust to. Musty warm air from the arena swept your face. A cleaning crew attacked the stands, creaking along the seating tiers. Sweeping, chucking empty cups. The pressure on the small of your back drove you to an open area near the instact and working EXIT sign allowing you to discern the back of the stadium, and his face.
Eddie’s features were glazed in a gentle omen of red.
There were thousands of scenarios churning in your mind at the situation of being stuck alone in a dark corner with a drunken man, but his slight smirk put you at ease, ironically.
The source of the painful knots between your shoulders spoke, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” He then had the gall to crowd you to the dusty drywall, and rest his arm atop your head, caging you there. Treating you as a nuisance. An insect. A little bee. A bug caught in his sticky trap. Gazing down at you with reptilian cold pupils behind his happily hooded eyes, substances battling in his body. Dangerous to no one but himself.
You squinted. “No?” The questioning lilt wasn’t intentional, but you had no idea what he was getting at.
He cocked his hip out with a dramatic sigh, and dropped his head forward to stare at you through his lashes, mouth hung loose. Waiting, waiting, waiting; acting as if he were the pinnacle of patience when you refused to play into his game, making you the bad guy. But worry not, he upheld the onus to inform you, his assistant, in a tone wallowing from the dregs of flat boredom with an edge of irritation and touch of patronization for having to spell it out for you, “I’m hungry.”
A polite, professional sneer lifted your upper lip. “Okay? Food should be here soon. I called it in a half hour ago.” About when the band came off stage, and Harry gave his honest opinion on their sloppy performance, while Eddie gave notes to the sound tech about Jeff’s mic not picking him up during Down In It. “Should be here in a few minutes.”
“What’d you order?”
Apprehension tensed through your back, perceived by his forearm mussing up your hair as the instinctual emotion stood you taller, defiant; knowing why his glinty grin taunted a show of teeth.
Pizza on Fridays. Texmex on Saturdays. Chinese on Sundays. That’s how it was every weekend. The consistency ensured you didn’t mishear him earlier when he requested his usual lo mein. “You asked for Chinese food,” you stated evenly, strongly. One step ahead of him.
“Mm.” Eddie scrunched his nose as he pretended to think it over. “Not feeling it today. I want pizza,” he said, the last word suffocated inside the bottle lifted to his lips, taking a long draw as your exhausted brain snapped to condescending him.
“So eat a cheese wonton and use your imagination.”
Utter elation gleamed in the steady eye pinning you in the crimson gloom, head tipped back to drink and drink and drink, cheeks sunken from sucking in liquor, pursing his lips around the glass rim from the smile he tried to suppress after succeeding in getting a rise out of you.
Your blood could only simmer for so long. Rolls of pent up anger, of festering disdain at his ability to find any opportunity to get under your skin, of fatigue from being ‘on’ for nearly twenty-four hours, stone in your gut from the constant passing glances when you were seen with Eddie; it all met its limit. You just wanted to leave. Your path to the hallway was blocked by the smooth contour of his bicep. Ducking under would mean an introduction to his armpit, and you weren’t thrilled by the idea of flattening yourself to the wall to slip by the untamed forest of black wiry hair. It would also be an admission of defeat, even further affirming your role as his spineless assistant to boss around. You could choose the other way and go around him, avoiding him all together, but there was no pride in that, either.
“Can you move your arm?” you asked, giving him the option despite better judgment when sudden pin pricks of uh-oh spiked your senses when he lowered the bottle.
A glistening line of whiskey traced his puckish smirk. Never menacing, but never a good sign. For a long moment the ghosts of the arena haunted the space in distant noises. Caresses of other humans around. Feedback other than the clutch on your heartbeat, and his troubled exhale into a strong inhale through his nose. Big breath filling his chest. Held. You took note of Eddie’s dimpled chin and the beads of water building at his lash line, and finally, he moved.
A sticky circle stamped the soft underside of your jaw, sliding his spit along your skin as he used the rim of the glass bottle of whiskey to lift your chin up, up. Stretching your neck, tipping your head back to the relaxed length of muscle along his forearm. Barely time to register the cherry-red halo striking the ends of his frizzy curls, or the ramping excitement overriding his already ruined impulse control.
Shy, you severed the intense eye contact when his face drew near.
Blank black soundless vortex rushing in your ears.
Drip, drip, drop.
Tiny splashes, one after the other, thumped on the locket of your lips. Mouth softly shut from the pressure under your chin. Tapping, tapping. Beat, by beat. Two, three, four, before your confusion determined what the sensation was, and the astringent scent cut its way to your sensitive nose.
You froze. Body clenching tight, fists sweating, nervous saliva pooling under your tongue too difficult to swallow. Jaw clamped shut and rejecting the liquid pooling at your lips, flooding it to the corners of your mouth, tickling the peach fuzz at the edges in tall walls of surface tension until, at last, they swelled, broke, and crashed. Thin streams flowed down either side of your neck, absorbed by your white blouse’s collar and trickling to the top of your bra cups, skirting to your cleavage. Brain overloaded. Clocked out. Warring with disgust, shock, and disappointment at the pathetic way you curled your fingers in some frustrated gesture at his actions, but ultimately, wrenched his tank top into your grip, and submitted.
You parted your lips, and Eddie poured.
Liquor, warmed from his mouth, filled yours. Burning, burning; drowning under the surge of spirits setting a blazing trail to your stomach, piquing a noise from you which would only draw the attention from those curious as to who the couple was fucking in the dark corner of the arena. You blocked the deluge from choking you with your fat tongue; rising onto your tiptoes while bending at your weak knees in the same involuntary whine as you tensed and squirmed—conflicted. Twisted your hands into the top of his shirt where the ribbed knit stuck to his chest, fabric damp with sweat and cool to the touch. You lurched him forward without thinking, locked in a panic. He complied. Easily.
Body to body, lazy weight on composed. Rubber soled boots dragging along the outside of your simple heels in a stuttered slide. Nudging the introduction of his bare legs against your skin; his hairy shins and the scraggly strings from the ripped hem of his shorts brushing the sides of your knees. Feeling his heavy arm flex as the front of his hips met you in the same stunted bursts as his steps, going from the man who frowned when you approached him, to the one who pressed himself between your thighs, causing the bulk behind his zipper to rock against you as he found his footing and stood tall, keeping his mouth aimed above yours, forgiving what spilt over your cheek in his stupor.
Dried salt and earthen dirt, embroidered texture of the fabric scraps he sewed onto his tank top rubbed your knuckles. The smooth pads of your thumbs landed above the neck hole as you centered yourself, tracing the duality of chilly perspiration on the heated skin of his sleek pecs, feeling the layer of muscle shifting underneath. Notes of oakwood barrels stroked your tongue before the sour punch of rye stung water to your shut eyes. You peeked through the wetness. Just to see.
His powerful lungs exhaled at a trained rate he could sustain in time with the runnel leaving his gently puckered lips paused above your own. Bangs stuck to his forehead. Sleepy faraway gaze. Calm, serene against the circumstances which had you questioning why you weren’t spitting the liquor back in his face. The scrunch of concentration between his brows was your last blurry sight before you were desperate for darkness again, letting your eyelids fall closed, lashes marrying.
Toofulltoofulltoofull.
The difference in your mouth size was apparent. Whiskey primed the inside of your cheeks, filling their fleshy stretch, stressing the brim of what you could hold. He’d only begun to dribble what had run hot and thick over his tongue when you untwisted your achy fingers from his shirt and served three warning taps in the vicinity of his heart. Feathery prods, like silk over the sparse hair growing in the valley between his pecs.
But, due to unforeseen circumstances, he forgot to stop.
Either you wormed yourself into stretching taller against the wall, or he leaned down. Perhaps both were true. Maybe you went rigid from the impending threat of irreversible stains on your new Liz Claiborne blouse, and maybe he shifted when the nuances of your hips slid against his own, dragging upward and reminding him of the cradle he had you in.
Richly flushed from booze, the tip of his nose thawed your thoughts as it grazed past your own, mashing a hint of tenderness you rarely witnessed from him to your cheek. By accident, of course, like the wet mid of his hair skimming the edge of your jaw where the bottle remained notched to your chin; amber glass a stark contrast from the plush give of his bottom lip flirting across yours.
Dry chapped against chapsticked satin.
The unintentional touch happened so fast, too quick to explore.
Mmm! Another antsy noise from you which rang sweet when amplified by the empty pit of coiled wires in the stadium. Mouth overfull. Stomach gripped, lungs clenching for unhindered breath. Realty checking in.
You put strength behind your forearms on his chest, shoving him and whirling your face away, keeling over what room he gave you to struggle through the largest gulp of your life, losing some of the liquor in the process, as evident by the splash on the concrete floor. Beyond brave, you drank it down, coughing, sputtering, and shuddering through the aftertaste for what felt like minutes. Huffing. Heaving. Working through the flood of drool coating your tongue, momentarily resting your dewy forehead on the thick vein drawn down his bicep by the red light, trying not to puke. Your shoulder pressed to his sternum. His heart beat, loud.
You used your sleeve to attack the wet streaks on your chin and cheeks, mopping up your pinched expression as the nausea of chugging his disgusting rye whiskey churned what patience you had for him. “What the—?”
“Hey, try not to waste any,” he commented dryly.
Voice raising, “What the actual hell is wrong with you?” You picked your head up from the crook of his elbow to pin him with your vehement glare. But the flash of temper at his drunken antics faded to the messy background of emotions when you remained in his pinion. Slotted between him, the wall, and the bottle.
Eddie’s nose bumped the bridge of yours. He pulled back slightly, and lowered the bottle. Still, his voice was one half of a sigh seeking its counterpart over your lax jaw and weak scowl. “Lotta stuff,” he answered. Still, your hands remained bound in his shirt. You couldn’t let go. Why couldn’t you let go? You couldn’t let go as the center of your bottom lip tingled like the buzzing wings of a bumble bee. Why didn’t you spit out the whiskey in his face? It was gross, revolting. Why did you swallow it?
Licks of black pepper and clove stayed on your tongue. Inhales went stale with his tangy scent, acrid and musky after giving his all on stage. His sweat clung to your fingers, mixed with the sheen on your forehead. When he breathed, his belly fought for the space between you, pressing into your stomach. Existing in the proximity you’d never seen the other in before; enabling you to hear the intimate loll of his tongue moving the spit in his mouth before he spoke.
Appearing more sober than before, with a strange amount of alertness in his glassy gaze trained on the minute changes of your features, he said, “You’re going to have a miserable time on tour if you keep being this up tight.” He angled away to sip from the bottle held by its long neck in three of his thick fingers. Rolling his lips inward, his throat bobbed a fierce line in the EXIT sign glow. “I was trying to work that permanent twist out of your panties. Get you to loosen up, have some fun.”
Just like that, the frustration was back. His words, his tone, his lack of apology for being a royal pain in the ass.
“You make me miserable,” you told him. For good measure, you pinched the sensitive underbelly of his tricep in case your voice didn’t carry the anger from the last hour of putting up with his shit.
He mumbled, “Ow,” probably not feeling the pain with how much alcohol was in his system.
Restraining yourself from reacting bigger, you tightened your fists and tried not to shake him. “I can’t relax, because the second I do Corroded Coffin gets stacks of lawsuits rammed up it’s ass, and you and I both know I’m hired damage control,” for you, you didn’t finish, getting too hot in the face to want to stand in your sticky clothes any longer, squishy inner thighs humid from being pressed together by his legs, shoes numbing your ability to feel the floor. “Would it kill you to stick to a schedule? Get cleaned up, meet some fans? Do the normal thing?”
The weight of his body returned, dropping the tension from his shoulders to curve them towards you, forcing your palms flat to his ribs. Another cage.
Unfortunately, his answer was a slow smirk. The bad kind. Sultry, and saccharine; dark like his purposefully narrowed coy eyes. “Kinda like it when you’re angry,” back to mushing his words together. “Lemme guess, you’re not even wearing panties to be twisted. You’re just naturally this…” Bitchy. “Pleasant.”
You pinched his tricep until you knew it hurt, until the roots of your hair tugged at your scalp from his forearm slipping away, and you used the space created to wedge past the areas of him which tempted a flicker of want in your core after a noticeable drag against your hip. “Don’t follow me.”
“C’mon, are you really..?” A pause. “Wait—!”
A productive conversation was a fruitless, futile thing.
You silenced the voice in your head telling you there was genuine remorse in his innate reaction to call for you. As if he were done pretending to be drunker than he was just to push things too far. Like he really cared you were walking away, in essence giving him permission to continue his night how he wanted.
No heavy thudded steps chased after you. The double doors were up ahead. You leaned into opening them past the heavy gust of hot air pushing back, and you stepped out to excited faces falling flat in disappointment when it was just a lady in a blouse and skirt reeking of booze, not a member of their favorite band printed on their bleach-dyed Corroded Coffin t-shirts.
~~~
When the tour bus doors next hissed, it wasn’t a single body stomping vibrations through the overly large vehicle on their way to pore over the details for the next show, it was a steady flow of those who called the beast their home. Most slung themselves in the couches at the front, talking shop around the kitchen table. Some infiltrated the fridge for beer. Another used the bathroom which was too close for comfort, especially in the recycled air blowing through the vents.
A body approached, and you curled your toes in as he passed.
Eddie’s heavy black boots stopped in the aisle of bunks. The soles squeaked as he turned, creaking leather as he sank his weight to one side. Stalling, facing you before he sat heavily on his bed. As he did so, two sharp pops drew his attention. Checking behind him, the privacy curtain was stuck under his ass, and the plastic rings meant to hold it up were snapped into pieces. You avoided putting your gaze on his person as you watched him solve this mystery, and returned to the paragraph you were scrawling in your notebook, moving your pen across the lined page.
Two of the last three days were journaled down, catching up from the hectic weekend, and venting through your emotions by reliving them. Darker ink bloomed where you carved the tip of your pen through your explanation of your hurt feelings and the general flippancy you were subjected to by one person in particular. The roadies and other members of the band got less screen time than the star of the show in your tirades. He knew this, too, looking from across the aisle at your clumped lashes, spying the water spots on the pages when he was standing. He sat forward, much like you, but his thighs were spread with his hands in between them, palm open to whittle a nervous thumb in the cupped center, having the decency to appear ashamed.
Your clothes were folded beside you, undecided if you wanted to trash them or wear them in defiance.
“Do you want me to apologize?” he asked, not quite enunciating due to his uncomfortableness.
Unable to mask it, you blinked rapidly before opening your eyes wide, not withholding the contemptuous sigh released from deep within. You gripped your notebook harder, bending it, rumpling the pages to hide what you etched behind your tight hands. Who the fuck asks if they need to apologize?
Eddie’s washed curls fell forward with his hung head, nodding to himself.
He got up, and left.
Anger scored your face. Draped by your headache was your furrowed brows, flared nostrils, twisted pursed lips zipped up tight from saying anything you’d regret—a lesson he could do with. Your pajamas were the makings of nine heavenly clouds after being dressed in stiff business attire all day, but the blisters on your ankles stung. Your joints throbbed. Your muscles wore sore. Your spine cried every time you moved.
Tomorrow you’d start doing the stretches the stageside crew showed you that kept them limber. You made a note to fit this in your schedule, bypassing the silly daydream of stopping at a bookstore in the next city and reading up on a yoga guide for more pose ideas than what the guitar techs could teach you, aware the chance you’d find time away from your boss to pursue your own self-interests was slim.
Flipping a new page, you dated it in the corner, began your introduction, and started on the third day of spilling your heart out.
Your pen was mighty interrupted.
It’s difficult to say what came first: the mouth watering rush of saliva, or the passionate rumble of your empty stomach yearning for the white takeout box placed in your lap by the bruised hand sporting cuts from punching Gareth’s drum platform during the one of the more self-loathing songs.
A pang of humility gentled his nature.
The four-fold top was open, revealing your favorite noodle dish with extra green onion and sesame seeds sprinkled on top, plastic fork stabbed through the middle. You lifted the container to swipe the oil stains off your mid-sentence rant, shaking free the beads of condensation collecting on the sides. The cardboard had gone soggy after being nuked in the microwave, burning through to your fingertips, but you held your dinner nestled in your palms, regardless.
It didn’t come with extra green onions or sesame seeds, those would have to be found on the side and added, along with the sauce to keep it from drying out.
Eddie made it exactly how you liked.
Hunched in the minimal space between bunks, you stared at the long stem of a bean sprout sticking out from the swirls of noodles, processing his gesture. Beneath that, your journal was splayed open to a slew of harsh sentences. Lower, directly across from your bare toes was Eddie’s boots. Higher, one of the metal aglets of his laces was stuck behind the leather tongue. Fresh socks clung the bottom of his calves. You listened to him peel back the curtain before sinking to his bunk, and trailed your study over the silvery scars on his knees. Moving up, you spotted a fresh beer in his hand, maybe one or two swigs taken. His elbows rested on his thighs, body folded over, leaning in, mirroring you to some degree.
The harsh overhead lighting brought luster to the bright golds, rich reds, and deep strands of chestnut through his dark hair brushing the shadow of his clavicle over the black shirt clinging to him, hugging the slope of his stooped shoulders.
Finally, you met the depth behind his eyes communicating what he couldn’t.
The apology lasted just long enough for your consideration, and then he lifted the crinkly wrapper tucked between two of his fingers. “You want this?”
You shook your head at the fortune cookie. “You can have it.”
“Nice,” he whispered. The unassuming planes of his cheeks lifted enough to allude to the dimple on his left side, and bracket his mouth in smile lines. He was still drunk, you assumed. A merry blush persisted across his nose, and his eyelids were as sleepy as the bags beneath them. But there was a youthful glee under it all as he tore into the cellophane. A glimpse at someone from long ago; not the rockstar before the start of touring who would pull laughs from you, but further, before the conditions of fame chewed him up, spit him out.
You wondered if Chinese takeout was a rarity in his boyhood, a special treat saved for when he left his hometown on trips to the city.
Eddie flicked the wrapper to the floor—annoyingly—and ducked at an odd angle to lay his upper half into the cozy nook of extra pillows he made you buy on the first night of being on the road. He stowed his beer at the apex of his clenched thighs, fitting the cold bottle snug against the packed seam guiding your eyes to the hill of his zipper, provoking hot blooded thoughts. His shirt rode up as he brought his arms above him, fanning the thick trail of hair out from under the hem, impossibly soft in appearance, auburn tinted, growing less dense on the sides of his belly. He cracked the crisp wafer in half, and you watched his stomach tense on the snap.
Squinting in the dark, Eddie depressed the button on the tiny reading light with his knuckle, and unfurled the paper from half the cookie, scanning the faded red text.
He snorted.
Choosing a mystical-sounding rasp not far from his real one to invoke the guise of a palm reader in a smoky lounge reeking of incense sticks, he read the fortune aloud while waving his other hand about, “You will be successful in love,” he said. His wrist went limp, and he tucked his chin to congratulate you. “Lucky you.”
No amount of plastic forks shoved in your mouth would rid you of the smile tightening your eyes. “Lucky me,” you echoed, full of wryness. The food, amongst other things, worked wonders to lift your mood. You weren’t as much buzzed from the shots sloshing in your stomach as you were queasy, and greasy noodles filled the tumultuous void stupendously.
He stuffed the crunchy cookie in his mouth, and turned the fortune paper over, speaking through the gnash of crumbs, “Your lucky numbers are 35, 26, 56, 10, 32, 52,” he continued.
“Uh-huh.”
The noise across the rest of the bus was at a level you could endure. Shooting the shit at an appropriate volume, or nodding along to the conversation. The driver would give the signal soon, and the boys would, or should, go to their bunks.
While you ate, Eddie stayed laying with his legs off the bed, head crooked against the wall due to the narrow space. He held the fortune above him. Reading it, sometimes. Thumbing the edge other times, or rubbing the texture of the stiff paper across itself. Staring, staring, unblinking from whatever he was thinking as he wrung a hand around his face; eliciting a sense of comfort from the audible stroke of his knuckles scratching over his stubble.
You scraped the bottom of your container, and put aside your notebook to gather your trash, two feet planted to make your way to the kitchen. At the last second, a glint caught your eye, and you bent over to pick up the wrapper Eddie dropped, tossing it in the takeout box, too.
“While you’re down there, be a doll and take off my boots.”
“No.”
His disgruntled groan followed you to the front of the bus.
The guys gave you a mixed reaction of curious glances and uninvolved nods as you stuffed your garbage in the overpacked bin. Jeff in particular made a point to look from you to his best friend’s legs, though you didn’t have much of an answer to whatever he was searching for.
A goodnight wave would have to do, and you were back at your bunk, folding the sheets down in preparation for the dreamless state you wished to be in. You sat on the mattress, eyes closed and spine somewhat neutral. The structure of the bunks were unforgiving, but the small crawl space could feel cozy at times, like a blanket fort made from couch cushions. Except, the house moved throughout the night, and angry honks woke you up on occasion. Not to mention you were a light sleeper from the stress of a car crash, or being dumped onto the floor.
The fortune paper flitted. Regarding you over the imposed suggestion between his legs, he informed you, “It says here the best way to relieve some of that tension you’re always carrying around is by taking a ride on a nice, fat—”
You snatched the beer bottle from between his thighs, big fake hard-on standing tall. He startled from the sensation, darting his eyes from the phantom trace against himself, and hailing you with a sputtered laugh through his cheek-aching smile, denying you the reward of taking him off guard by covering his mouth with his hand.
“I earned this,” you said about the drink.
“Yeah?” he goaded, pleased at your forwardness.
In a valiant attempt to show off, you tipped the mildly hoppy bitter back. Two pulls in, you thought better of it. Not quite a chug, but he lost the war with his grin, pearly teeth shining behind the thumbnail he strummed over the center of his bottom lip, eyes almost closed entirely in a bout of crinkles.
You pulled your lips off the bottle; off his spit and off his drink, off his glass cock, and were emboldened by the confidence of his playful disposition to rib on him openly, like the guys would when his pendulum mood swung to the good side. You lamented in a dramatic sigh,”Maybe my love life will be so successful, I'll get swept off my feet, and be free from the burden of listening to your sloppy guitar plucking all night.”
His expression lurched towards impressed. Overacting with his mouth agape in surprise, lips curled over his teeth, and splaying his hand on his chest. With how he propped himself up on one elbow, his shirt stretched flush against his pecs, accentuating the two round shadows at the ends of the metal bars through his nipples.
Right, you remind yourself, able to forget their existence through most of his wardrobe choices, he has pierced nipples.
Your body ran hot at the memory from two short hours ago where you were inexplicably thrusted into a situation where you could’ve felt the jewelry by accident, pressed against a wall. Now you were able to think through the adrenaline, and acknowledge having another person’s touch on your skin did more harm than good for the loneliness lurking within, calling it to the surface.
The notebook beside your pillow drew your glance.
Eddie stabilized your position in the conversation, not letting your sudden reservation deter him from seeking retribution for your insult. “Think y’drank too much honey, there, Bee. That one stung below the belt.”
The moment it took for you to register the low leech of a tease sneaking its way through his croaky, whiskey-hoarse words was a long one. Longer was his heavy palm falling to demonstrate where exactly your insult hurt him, cupping and grabbing the afflicted area. “You wound me!” he dramatized, demonstrating the limits his fatigue green shorts flattered, cotton fabric scrunching under his grip, then slouching flat on the release. Longer, still, was the distance between the gaudy ring on his middle finger and the tip of his short nails, thick digit landing on the tattered seam splitting him down the middle. Letting go, he rested his hand above his belt.
Everything about him was victorious. Champion eyes glinting rum colored; a shade you’d never seen on him, and almost missed with your observance stuck lower, trapped by his overt flirtations.
His belly rose and fell with a sympathetic hum devised to rattle you.
When sober, the invitation to crude insinuations began and ended with intangibility. A calculated smile to fluster you when caught admiring how his tattoos twisted over the muscles in his upper arms when he leaned on his keyboard, a sentence spoken in the morning before his voice warmed to its comfortable register, a tossed comment in the midst of conversation with his band mates and the effect it had on you shifting uncomfortably just outside the ring of amity—quarantined behind the scope of his single-handed gesture pumping an obvious motion, pretending you were absorbed by the timetable schedule for the band inside your folder, appearing busy and decidedly not desperate to either be included or released from the task of being present, even when hot needles of sweat stressed the lack of consideration for your feelings with each sorry expression cast in your direction. You were his worker bee, paid to wait on him, and his teasing was rarely physical beyond an appropriate knock on your bicep for your attention in the off chance he didn’t snap his fingers at you like a dog. Or a tap on your knee under the kitchen table to get you to stand so he could leave; a light pressure which you could replicate days later with your own knuckles. His daily indifference was born of spite, and his drunken actions were bred of the same annoyance, bottle-deep perspective viewing you as the one who was ruining his night. Assuming he continued to push his tolerance with more drinks after you left the green room, his bold teasing made sense, you supposed, too unrestricted to deny himself the fun of riling you up.
The right thing to do would entail divorcing yourself from this conversation, and bringing up his conduct tomorrow. The wrong thing to do would involve taking another swig of his beer. The right thing to do would require reminding him of his meeting with Murray in the morning, who had a shorter fuse than anyone in the music industry. The wrong thing to do would include lobbing the bottle in his bed. The right thing to do would demand not giggling at Eddie’s poor reflexes when he made a bigger mess of the ale spilling on his blanket.
Eddie seized to catch it, but his hand-eye coordination was not up to par. He scrunched his eyes closed at the last second, jolting into a crunch with his chin tucked in an inordinate amount of wrinkles, and hands turned with his palms out, more keen on keeping the bottle from hitting his face than truly catching it. Which was a plausible excuse for his boot kicking your bunk in the process, and overall lack of poise as he brought his hands together after the beer had already bounced off his belly, and rolled where the bed dipped around him.
The wrong thing to do would consist of you running your knuckle along your shameless grin, prodding the flesh against your teeth as he dropped his head back and emptied the bottle onto his softly cradled pink tongue, thank you for sharing the drink, every last boozy drop.
Recognition curved the groove of his mouth.
Boys will be boys behavior.
“Here,” he said, rolling forward with his arm extended. The glass bottle in his hand drew your immediate wilt, but before you advanced too far into your frown, he alleviated your ire with the two fingers pointing at you, fluttering the damp paper between them. “You believe in this sorta shit, don’t you?” Despite the mock, you knew better than to refute his claim, not having the chops to sound convincing. Not that you really had faith in the mass produced slip of paper, but the affirmation that you’d find your soulmate one day produced a sense of ease before bed. Even when the word ‘successful’ was blurred from a drop of beer.
You placed the fortune in your notebook, feeling the ache of an unfinished entry.
At the front of the bus, the driver stamped up the stairs and gave the signal he was going to start moving soon, cuing the subliminal bedtime. The unbelonging technicians left, and the rest of Corroded Coffin stretched from the stiff cushions lining the booth seats around the table. As they picked up after themselves, Eddie untied the top set of his laces, and kicked his boots off, leaving them in the aisle along with the empty beer bottle.
He rolled onto the edge of the mattress to rip back his sheets and shoved his legs under, hesitating from drawing the curtain when he browsed the end of your bunk, where your feet moved under a pile of belongings placed atop your covers. “I’ll send your clothes to the dry cleaners tomorrow.”
Not an apology.
“You mean you’ll send me to the dry cleaners tomorrow,” you corrected, and his face smoothed flat from the accidental snub.
Harry moved between you two. Jeff divided the conversation further. Gareth cleaved whatever rapport you had with Eddie when he snorted at the two of you facing each other in your bunks, cuddled up like a sleepover.
Thinking harder as his peers climbed into their beds, Eddie relaxed onto his forearm supporting his upright posture, and sank into the jut of his shoulder, spinning his hand in the same flippant way the scrunch between his brows appealed to the snark loading in his throat. “I’ll just give you my wallet then, mm?” he offered, gravelly voice dusted with insincerity. “Then you can buy all the white blouses, and black skirts your pretty heart desires.”
Someone snorted again. It sounded like Gareth.
“And, uh,” Eddie endured as the plastic rings tinked across the metal bar, leaving a generous window visible from the top of his shoulders to his wild hair spread about his pillow palace, limp curtain hanging pitifully, “if you’d be so kind, don’t watch me sleep.”
“I won’t,” you said, and it sounded so sad. So soft, and faint, no bite behind it. No zest, no strength. Just confusion, though you understood the events leading to the pendulum swinging the other direction.
You closed your curtain, too.
The tour bus rumbled before sighing its characteristic hiss and chugging forward, pitching its cargo inside. You swayed in your nook. Laying on your back meant you experienced every roll of the tires cutting corners in the parking lot, but you weren’t ready to turn over yet. Your mind was swarming with cluttered thoughts. There were things you could be doing other than peering out at the depressing darkness where the dim ambient light didn’t pierce. You could brush your teeth, stow away your pocketbook before the pens rolled out, pick up the bottle before it tipped over and played pinball down the aisle all night. Your journal entry could be finished, you could sit up and read a book like Eddie, you could do some of those stretches for your hips and back. You could cry, you could count sheep for the next four hours and forty-seven minutes, you could cry some more; wet face wiped raw by the stiff sheets, and mouth buried in the unfeeling comforter to muffle the squeak of air leaving your lungs when you couldn’t suppress the emotions lodged in your throat any longer.
You could do many therapeutic things.
Instead, you pressed your knuckle over the center of your lower lip, replicating the pressure, and thought about the fortune.
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gojoux · 9 months
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『 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑 』
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· Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader
· Summary: In the middle of your mission, he makes a move on you, until you realize that's not the case.
· CW: 3.8k // Sensitive content (SA). Hurt/comfort. Act of deception.
Please do not proceed if it could trigger you.
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“Why are you with me again?” You look at him who is walking casually by your side with his hands in his pockets.
“Why not? I have nothing better to do right now.” Gojo shrugs. “And besides, a second pair of eyes can always come in handy.” He looks at you. “Plus, I can keep an eye on you and keep you safe.” He grins.
“Aww, are you trying to play the prince or something?” You grin back at him, nudging his side with your elbow.
He smirks at your answer. “If the shoe fits.” The sunlight shimmers off of his white hair. A few strands fall into his eyes, making it seem like he’s trying to peek at you.
“So, what's our objective on this mission?” He looks at you. “Any details?”
“I've been informed about a grade 1 cursed spirit between the abandoned buildings.” You answered with your eyes looking forward, analyzing the buildings in this less crowded place.
He listens quietly as you fill him in on your mission. He nods at your words, absorbing the information. He reaches up and scratches his neck lightly, and a smile spreads across his face. “A grade 1 cursed spirit?” He pauses. “They should be no problem to take down.” 
“Easy for you to say, Mr. Strongest Sorcerer.” You roll your eyes playfully. He grins at you, “Exactly.”
“A Grade 1 Spirit will be no problem at all. No need for you to worry.” His eyes twinkle in amusement as they meet yours. “We'll finish this mission in no time.”
“I thought this was my mission?” You look at him with a raised brow. “I can handle this by myself, Satoru.”
Your conversation with Gojo is always lighthearted no matter the situation. But you do appreciate his offer, even though you're confident that you can finish this mission yourself, without his help.
“Sure, sure. You could take this cursed spirit down by yourself. But why do that when you could have your best friend with you?” He tilts his head with a chuckle.
“I'm fine on my own.” You brush him off as you feel like you're getting closer to your destination. “Just go buy some ice cream while you wait for me or something.”
Gojo’s lips quirk up. “How about, no?” He glances at you and the side of the road. “No use in fighting me. Unless you’ve got a secret crush on me or something? I mean, who wouldn’t have one?” He gives you a teasingly-wide grin.
“We're here.” You ignore his words as you both stand between the two empty-looking buildings, or it's just not many people who live around here. The dark hallway leads to another wider place way further back. The sunlight could only expose so little.
You take a deep breath before walking forward. He follows you into the dark hallway. He looks around, his head tilting to the side as he takes in the surroundings. “Looks like nobody has stepped foot here in a long time.” He adjusts the glasses on his face.
“Yeah.” You slowly walk further until you see a smaller building at the end of the hallway. ‘Strange.’ You thought to yourself.
The gray building looks like an old abandoned house with peeled-off dry paint and moss sticking on the sides of walls, not to mention it's dusty and smelled unpleasant.
Gojo peers at the old house, his hands in his pockets. He looks around, scanning the area around you for any possible signs of cursed spirits. “Seems... quiet right now.” 
“Are we about to enter a haunted house?” He says casually with his playful grin. “Yes, we are.” There is no door at the entrance, so you just walk in and you look around the dark interior.
He steps inside the house beside you, his eyes taking in every detail of the abandoned house. “This place looks like it hasn’t been used in decades.” He glances at you. “Well then... let’s start hunting for this cursed spirit.” He looks around, his eyes darting.
“I'll take upstairs and you'll take down here, okay?” You say as you step on the stair, ready to go up while you wait for his response.
He nods. “Got it.” His eyes follow you as you walk up the stairs to the second floor of the abandoned house. “I’m sure I’ll be fine down here all by myself,” his voice is laced with sarcasm.
Gojo looks around the first floor as he searches for any traces of a cursed spirit. He checks the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms, and the bathroom. “Man, what a creepy place.” He mumbles to himself.
You check around upstairs, but you find nothing but old, unused stuff covered in dust.
You found interest in a particular room at the end of the corridor. You check inside the room for a while, analyzing your surrounding as you try to sense anything in your surroundings.
“Found anything yet?”
You jumped back at the sound coming by the door before you let out a shaky exhale of relief. “Oh, it's just you.”
You didn't sense his cursed energy, probably too busy looking for a cursed spirit or any residue. 
Gojo chuckles as he hears you speak. He leans against the door, a cocky smile on his face. "Yeah, it's just me. You look like you're scared of this old abandoned house." 
“I'm not.” You mumble. Gojo walks towards you. His footsteps are eerily silent. He pauses, glancing at you. “What? Lost your senses, hmm?” He crosses his arms and tilts his head.
His eyes fall on the dark corners of the room, on the objects inside. He notices the old abandoned chair on the far side of the room. “Did something scare you? Scared of the boogeyman?” He smirks.
“I'm not scared. Just caught off-guard, that's all.” You continue to check around the big room.
His smirk widens. “Right, right. I thought you’d be more jumpy.” He lets out a small chuckle. “You sure are more relaxed than usual. You should be more vigilant.” He crosses his arms again.
Gojo’s eyes glance at you, a smile creeping across his lips. “So, you wanna tell me what you found there?” He gestures towards the room behind you, still keeping his attention on you. “Not much. Just some old stuff.” You answer, not looking at him.
Then, Gojo’s arms wrap around your waist in a surprise hug. “Boo~” He whispers, his lips grazing your ear. “Did I scare you?” He leans in closer, his voice whispering softly. He bites your ear lobe teasingly.
“S-Satoru!” You got startled this time, more like from his sudden gesture, and you feel tingly when you feel his lips on your earlobe.
His smirk widens as he hears your startled reaction. He presses himself closer to you, his arms squeezing you tightly. He whispers in your ear. “You’ve got such a cute scream.” He chuckles. “I swear, your reactions are so cute.”
“What are you doing?” Your heart is beating fast from the closeness of your body, the feeling of your ridiculously handsome best friend's body against yours. How can you not be flustered?
His lips form a smug grin. “Just teasing my favorite person right now.” He pauses briefly. “Are... you nervous?” His gaze is locked into yours while his arms are still wrapped around your waist.
“Ha, ha, very funny.” You pull yourself away from his embrace and turn to face him, trying to play it off with a nonchalant attitude. “Really, what are you doing, hm?” 
He chuckles, noticing how flustered you look despite you trying to hide it. “I’m teasing you with physical touch.” He smirks and steps closer to you. He leans his head towards you until your forehead is almost touching and his fingertips holding onto your chin.
“Would you like some more teasing?” Your flustered face is an endearing sight for his eyes. His eyes dart back and forth between you and your lips. His thumb caresses your lips softly. 
“I’m actually... in love with you.” He whispers. He pauses for a moment as he takes in every detail of your face. “I’ve liked you... No, I’ve loved you since we met. I’ve kept my feelings hidden for a long time because of how I thought you’d react.” He leans in, his fingertips gently caressing your cheek. His eyes never leave yours.
You were stunned by his sudden confession, can't believe that your best friend just said those words to you. “You're just joking, right...? This is not funny.” You shake your head to shake the thoughts off as you pull your face back from his.
He lets out a chuckle at your reaction. “No, no, it’s true. I'm in love with you.” He raises one of his eyebrows as you look away from him. His eyes follow yours, trying to grab your gaze. “Look at me. I want you to listen and realize how much I meant what I said.” He pauses before continuing. “Don’t dismiss my feelings. I mean it.”
“Is it that difficult to believe that your best friend for years now, has a crush on you?” He strokes your cheek with his thumb gently. “I like you as more than just a friend. Why don't you believe me?” His words end in a whisper.
Again, you shake your head at his confession. “Don't joke with my feelings like that... Is not funny.” You frown at him as you back away from his touch.
“I'm not joking.” He replies. “I swear to you that I'm serious.” He reaches out and grabs your wrist. “Don't push me away so soon. How can you say no to me after all we've been through together?” He shifts closer to you again and grabs your chin, forcing you to look at his eyes.
“Let's get back to our mission, shall we?” You chuckle awkwardly to change the subject. But he doesn't let go of your wrist. “(Y/N), please.” He looks at you with pleading eyes. “I've just opened up to you. You can't be serious about rejecting me.” He frowns a little. “Do you really think I'm joking?”
“I mean, you joke a lot.” You shrug, not knowing what to say in this sudden situation. “And why would you even confess like this? We're on a mission, you know, get serious.” You brush him off as you continue to wander around the room.
He grabs your wrist again, pulls you back, and turns you to face him. His voice is now serious. “You are not walking away from me yet.” His grip tightens once again.
“Look at me.” He pulls you closer to him, his breath heavy against your skin. He looks you over from head to toe, his other hand resting on your waist. “My words might not mean much to you, but my touch certainly does.” He leans down until your faces are just inches apart. 
“What?” You look at him in surprise at his sudden change of demeanor. You know that he does get quite aggressive sometimes, but he doesn't really do it to you like this.
He moves his hand away from your waist, placing it on your cheek and stroking your neck. “Come on, (Y/N). Your heart is beating at double speed, and your breath is slightly ragged.” He leans in again, his touch becoming a little firmer on your face. “Just this once, let me take what's mine.”
“Hey, hey, what do you mean ‘what's yours’?” You pull yourself away from his grasp again. By now, you're already freaked out from how odd he's behaving.
He puts himself in front of you again, and once more, places his hands on your waist. “I want to kiss you, (Y/N). I want to taste you.” His fingers move to the hem of your uniform jacket. “Let me love you.”
“Enough!” You swat his hand away from your jacket. He holds you back against your arms, firmly trying to bring you close once more. “There's something special between you and me. We can do this here.” He whispers to you. “No one will know.”
“Satoru. Enough with this nonsense. And take your hands away from me.” You glare at him this time, your tone is serious. But he doesn't budge when you tell him to take his hands away.
“No.” He lets out a harsh breath. “I've been trying to show you my feelings so you'll understand. I want you. All of you.”
A smirk creeps its way across his face. “Or would you prefer I tear all of your clothes off and take you right here?” He presses his body closer to you once again.
You widen your eyes in disbelief at his words. Is this the Gojo Satoru you know?
“You're unbelievable...” You feel tears gathering in your eyes. “Oh, is it?” His voice is filled with amusement with your reaction. He slowly reaches out and tilts your head up once more, his fingers stroking your cheeks.
“You're so easy, you know that?” He smiles. “Maybe I should just tear you out of your clothes right now... But I'll be gentle with you if you want.” He lowers his voice now, smiling seductively. “Just let me have you, (Y/N).”
“No.” You shake your head, trying to get off from his grasp. He lets out a groan, growing frustrated as you continue to reject him. His hands grab your arms now, and you notice his expression darkens.
“I'm done asking.” He whispers. “I'm going to take you now.” He leans in towards you, and his breath becomes hot as your face is almost touching. “Say you're mine.” He demands. “If you don't listen, I'll just have to take what's mine with force.”
Your heart beats faster, this time not from being flustered by him, but rather from fear. “Are you... trying to attempt something?!”
You really don't see the playful and carefree Gojo Satoru now.
“I'm not attempting anything, (Y/N).” He becomes more serious. “This is me taking what's mine.” He pauses for a minute, his thumb slowly tracing across your lips once again. He closes the gap between his lips and your neck to lick your skin. “Say yes. Or I'll make you say yes.”
You shake your head again, feeling helpless by now. You feel weak, not as a sorcerer, but as a human. You're alone in this secluded place with someone you trust, yet he turns out to be like this.
“No... I don't want it... I don't want this...” You look at him in disbelief and disappointment.
His finger is still softly stroking your bottom lip. “I can be gentle with you...” The tone of his voice changes back to seductive once again. “Please, let me take you.” He bites down on his lip, his other hand slowly moving up and down your thigh. “You know that you want me to touch you.”
“Stop! Stop!” You yell at him before pushing him away with the remaining of your strength and running out of the room.
You bump into someone once you almost reach the stairs until you fall on your ass. And when you look up, much more to your shock, you see him.
“Satoru...?” You feel like your breath is being sucked out of your lungs. “Wait, what...? But you- you were...” You look at him back and forth between the man in front of you and the room you just ran off from.
He immediately kneels down to your level in concern. “Hey, hey, are you—” but he cuts himself off when he realizes that you're backing away from him. “— okay...?”
Gojo stares at you for a moment as you look at him with so much fear. “Why are you scared?” He tilts his head, his expression is filled with concern. 
He slowly moves towards you once again, his hands up in the air as he shows you that he isn't planning on touching you. “It's me. I'm not going to harm you.”
He's focused on you, and he's genuinely concerned and confused about why you're acting like this. You were just fine a while ago.
You shake your head, refusing to be touched by him. “No... You're... Inside the room...”
“What is it, (Y/N)? Talk to me, please.” His voice is soft, he doesn't want to push you further to the edge like you already are.
He's also careful to not move too close to you, not wanting to push you away in fear. He remains calm, although you can see that his hands slightly shake when his hand stops midway reaching you.
“Y-yo-you are Satoru, right...?” Your breathing is ragged while you look at him closely.
“Yes, (Y/N). It's me, Satoru.” Gojo's voice stays calm as he speaks to you. He watches you nervously, hoping that you don't see him as a threat now.
”But... you were there...” You look back towards the room far behind you. His expression becomes concerned once more. “What did you see? I was downstairs the entire time.” He tries to reach out more to you but hesitates once he sees how scared you still are.
He pulls his hand back and his fingers fiddle with his sleeves as he speaks, his mind racing with thoughts. Are you scared of him? How does he convince you that it's actually him? 
Then, his Six Eyes caught something from the way you came running from. The end of the corridor. “Wait here, okay? I will be quick.”
He stands up and walks towards the room you were in before. You rest your back against the wall, trying to calm yourself down and process what just happened.
And before you knew it, he came back and sat in front of you with his legs crossed. “(Y/N)...” He calls out your name softly, he tilts his head to meet your gaze better.
“I'm going to explain to you real quick, okay?” He talks to you carefully, his fingers nibbling his sleeves once more. “You were inside the cursed spirit's domain. In that room, which I guess is where you came from earlier.”
Your confusion lasts only a moment before you realize that you were talking to a cursed spirit that had pretended to be Gojo.
That was the cursed spirit you're supposed to exorcise yet you were caught in its trap without realizing it. Who knows what could have happened if Gojo didn't come with you in the first place.
He takes a short breath before he continues. “I think you saw something, right...? Whatever it is, it's not real.”
Your gaze shifts from the floor to him. “You...” Your voice is quiet and still shaky. “I saw you.” 
He looks at you in silence for a moment. “Me?” He asks, wanting you to repeat to make sure he's hearing your words right.
“You were... there... trying to...” You don't even want to finish your words. You don't want to be reminded of what could have happened if you didn't gather yourself that time to push fake Gojo and run away.
“Trying to what?” His voice is calm and quiet, but he can't help but notice how she still won't make any eye contact with him. 
His eyes silently scan you, searching for any wounds. His eyes then linger on your damp cheeks and the expression of fear on your face.
He moves his hands away from his sleeves and places them together in front of him, hoping that he'll be able to convince you. “Are you... scared of me?” His tone seems to shift into sadness when you don't answer him, guessing what could possibly be the problem that made you like this.
“You were touching me... and...” You can't continue the rest as you look away from him.
“Was I doing... what I think it is?” Gojo seems caught off guard when you describe the situation. His face darkens when he realizes what he must seem like to you. “(Y/N), I would never do anything like that.” You can see that he's genuinely worried about losing you now. “You have to trust me... I would never betray your trust like that. Just look at me. It's me.”
You shake your head while avoiding looking at him. You just want to shake the thoughts off, and seeing his face reminds you of what happened back then.
“But it is me, (Y/N).” His voice grows quieter as he speaks. “Do I really seem like that kind of man? I know that I've teased you and said some inappropriate things, but I would never force myself onto you.”
His words may be filled with emotion, but his eyes remain filled with genuine worry as he watches you avoid his gaze. 
He scoots closer to close the gap between the two of you, grasping your hand as he speaks. “Please, look at me? Just give me a chance so that you can trust me.” His words are filled with desperation now. “That's all I ask.”
His voice becomes a whisper as he speaks, his hands shaking, “Please, don't be scared of me.”
You finally look up to meet his gaze. He is rarely this soft. You realized that the fake Gojo back then lacked the warmth that this Gojo has, and you can feel it when he grabs your hand and how he speaks to you. 
“Can you... comfort me?” You ask quietly, letting yourself be vulnerable in his presence. “Please?”
“You want comfort?” He smiles softly, his grip on your hand tightening as he speaks. “Then let me give it to you.”
He pulls you closer to him, placing your head against his chest so that you're able to hear his heartbeat. “That's my heart, (Y/N)... It beats for you and you alone.”
He lowers his voice once again, wanting you to be able to hear him clearly. “Whatever you experienced earlier, that would never be me. I promise I'll never hurt you."
“I was so scared...” Your body is slumped in his embrace.
“Shh… don’t be scared anymore.” Gojo strokes your hair gently, rubbing comforting circles on your head as you rest against him. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead and whispers into your ear. “You’re safe with me.” His words are quiet and soothing as he keeps holding you close. “Just let me hold you until you feel better,” he whispers.
“I didn't expect anything like that to happen in my mission…” You murmur. “I'm glad that I didn't shoo you away to eat ice cream.” You try to lighten up your own mood.
He laughs softly, his head moving to the side to look down at you. “You're right.” His voice is soft as he continues to cradle you in his arms. “It’s over now.” His tone is once again calm and soothing, hoping that you’ll be able to relax against his chest.
He gently rubs his thumb across your cheek, but only does so for a moment before he stops. “Keep leaning on me. Just rest in my arms for now. We'll talk whenever you're ready.”
He kisses your forehead before resting his head against yours. He’s already thinking about how should he confess to you, and promise to himself that he’ll keep you safe.
He's thinking of an ice cream date, actually. But for now, he’s content in giving you the comfort you needed.
“I’ll take care of you.”
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cjrae · 1 month
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Rank And Responsibility. Or: The Hairpin Scene from Jinshi's POV.
Be warned now about the consequences of choosing to do an English Lit degree - you end up doing lit crit for fun. With that in mind, let's break down the hairpin scene at the end of Covert Operations (Episode 5). Mild spoilers for Jinshi's arc are below.
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While this moment does kick off the romantic subplot, with all the implications that giving Maomao the hairpin out of his own hair has, I would argue that this is not the moment Jinshi realizes he's in love with Maomao. Instead, from his point of view, this scene demonstrates how Jinshi handles failure.
Holding Power In An Open Palm
This is still very early in the story. Our first hint to Jinshi's true rank does come in this scene, but for now we know him as the manager of the Rear Palace. For the three thousand people who live and work there, for all intents and purposes, Jinshi is the highest authority they will encounter. He literally has the power of life and death over them, either directly in the case of the servants and eunuchs, or in the case of the consorts, his word to the Emperor directly can serve the same purpose. We also see Jinshi use this power early on - he's not just there to keep order, but also to test the consorts' loyalties and virtue. We never see what happens to the lower-ranked consort who attempted to invite Jinshi back to her room, but at the very least that report ensures that her already small chance of the Emperor choosing her as a potential mother of the nation is utterly cut off - and if she doesn't bear children, she will be discarded.
We also know that Jinshi will not hesitate to order corporal punishment if he views it necessary - for example, when Maomao discovers that the toxic face powder is still being used by Consort Lihua's ladies in waiting, she mentions in the aftermath that the eunuch who failed to recover the powder was flogged, while the lady in waiting who hid the powder is put in solitary confinement. These are brutal punishments - and if we consider the historical inspirations, these are also very restrained consequences. For hiding an item that caused the death of the prince (unfortunately, the more valuable child) and has put the life of one of the Emperor's favored High Consorts in danger, Jinshi would be utterly within his rights to order executions. If ignorance is a sin, ignorance in the face of knowledge is a greater one.
Microcosm of Li
For all that Jinshi holds his power lightly, he also takes the responsibility that power bestows upon him quite seriously. It's worth noting that Jinshi takes over governing the Rear Palace shortly after Maomao's service contract is purchased. (Remember, Xiaolan talks about the "beautiful, new eunuch that's been posted to the central courtyard," which tells us that Jinshi has not been in the Rear Palace long enough to become a fixture - he's an object of speculation and admiration from episode 1).
In context it's clear that, with the birth of two Imperial children, his job is to ensure the survival of the Imperial line and investigate why children of the Emperor are dying consistently in one of the wealthiest and safest places in the entire empire. We're shown him running in between Lady Lihua and Lady Gyokuyou to ensure that their very sick children are being seen to properly, investigating what could be causing it, while also managing tensions as rumors about the Emperor's children being cursed begin to spread and outright accusations of sorcery are being thrown between consorts. While the audience might immediately scoff along with Maomao at the idea of one consort cursing another, if Maomao hadn't found the cause of death, those types of accusations followed by Lady Lihua's and Princess Lingli's inevitable deaths could have ended with Lady Gyokuyou's execution.
The Rear Palace is a reflection of the nation as a whole. No Imperial heirs plus the deaths of two High Consorts with various foreign and domestic political ties had the potential to thrust the entire nation into chaos. Jinshi's choices have very real consequences, so when Maomao discovers what the true cause of death is and sends her warning, Jinshi looks at Maomao and doesn't see a person. He sees a "perfect pawn." A tool, one with talents that have ensured that at least one Imperial child has survived and providing a rational explanation why these children have died so that it can be prevented from happening again - and a skill set that can be turned to preventing any more shenanigans in the Rear Palace that could threaten the empire's foundation.
And, as Gaoshun points out, in the beginning of the hairpin scene, she is a toy. Maomao amuses Jinshi up until this point.
For all that Jinshi is shown wielding power with a light hand and a responsible mindset, it literally doesn't occur to him that the people working in the rear palace have stories - some tragic - about how they came to be there. They are resources to be used as befits the Emperor's (and therefore the nation's) need.
Hidden Beauty
When Maomao turns around and Jinshi doesn't recognize her until she speaks, he's shocked. He thought he knew exactly who and what this girl was - ugly and unremarkable, except for her intellectual brilliance and the challenge in managing her by other means than empty compliments and smiles. He attempts to recover and assumes that she is enhancing her looks - and is shocked again when he realizes that the face Maomao has presented to him so far is a protective mask against attracting attention. In a world where beauty is both a currency and a tool that others covet, Jinshi doesn't understand why Maomao would deliberately devalue herself like that. So she tells him.
This is the moment Maomao becomes a person to Jinshi.
Not a toy, not a pawn. Someone who has been ripped from her home and her life illegally and sold off. It's in this moment that Jinshi is forced to confront the ugly side of the society he lives in, people who would rape Maomao out of pure convenience or just take a "borderline marketable" girl off the street in order to get extra drinking money.
Worse, Jinshi is complicit in Maomao's captivity. The Rear Palace has bought her contract - and as the manager of the Rear Palace, Jinshi is responsible for everything that happens within its' walls. The fact that Jinshi does not personally oversee service contracts is irrelevant. The buck stops with him. If the Matron of the Serving Women or whoever is below her is buying these contracts without checking their sources, that is Jinshi's fault because he has allowed a lax enough system to flourish. He has failed to govern this microcosm of the nation wisely, with thought for the welfare of the least powerful among his people. Worse, he has failed to even notice the problem - Maomao may say she's angry about having been kidnapped and sold, but she doesn't react in a way that indicates anger. Instead, she's resigned. Yes, what happened to her was wrong and she's angry about it, but there's literally nothing she or Jinshi can do.
Or Is There?
Jinshi offers Maomao two apologies, the first of which is our first hint to his true status. "I'm sorry we couldn't police them better." Maomao immediately blows off this apology - she points out that there's no way Jinshi should have known and has a very "all's well that ends well" attitude about her situation - her contract will be up eventually and in the meantime she's managed to land in a fulfilling role. Essentially Maomao is telling Jinshi that this apology is not his to make - he's overstepping his responsibility. And, if Jinshi were simply the manager of the Rear Palace, she would be right. It's his job to ensure that the Rear Palace is properly staffed, not to regulate that all contracts comply with the law.
Jinshi apologizes again. This time, he offers no other context. He doesn't accept Maomao's absolution of responsibility - because he knows (even if we, the audience, don't) otherwise. It can certainly be read as Jinshi refusing to accept easy absolution, and the rest of those witnessing the scene, apart from Gaoshun, certainly take it that way.
Instead, he takes the hair stick from his own hair and places it in Maomao's. Their entire relationship has just been upended; Maomao is a person who has been gravely wronged and it is Jinshi's responsibility to begin to make it right. Aside from the personal implications of giving her the hairpin (and the faint blush on his face makes it clear that he's aware of them), it is a form of restitution. There is an unspoken social contract Jinshi is offering that Maomao does not understand in the slightest. It never occurs to her that Jinshi would do something for her with no thought of what he would receive in return, because of the difference in their social ranks. But, from Jinshi's perspective, that social difference is the point. He has failed her and, as the person of higher rank, it is his responsibility to do what is within his power to begin to remedy the situation in front of him.
And, of course, in that moment he sees Maomao in a new light, the other meaning of gifting her his hairpin has fertile ground to take root in Jinshi's mind.
467 notes · View notes