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cjrae · 1 month

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Rank And Responsibility. Or: The Hairpin Scene from Jinshi's POV.

Be warned now about the consequences of choosing to do an English Lit degree - you end up doing lit crit for fun. With that in mind, let's break down the hairpin scene at the end of Covert Operations (Episode 5). Mild spoilers for Jinshi's arc are below.

While this moment does kick off the romantic subplot, with all the implications that giving Maomao the hairpin out of his own hair has, I would argue that this is not the moment Jinshi realizes he's in love with Maomao. Instead, from his point of view, this scene demonstrates how Jinshi handles failure.

Holding Power In An Open Palm

This is still very early in the story. Our first hint to Jinshi's true rank does come in this scene, but for now we know him as the manager of the Rear Palace. For the three thousand people who live and work there, for all intents and purposes, Jinshi is the highest authority they will encounter. He literally has the power of life and death over them, either directly in the case of the servants and eunuchs, or in the case of the consorts, his word to the Emperor directly can serve the same purpose. We also see Jinshi use this power early on - he's not just there to keep order, but also to test the consorts' loyalties and virtue. We never see what happens to the lower-ranked consort who attempted to invite Jinshi back to her room, but at the very least that report ensures that her already small chance of the Emperor choosing her as a potential mother of the nation is utterly cut off - and if she doesn't bear children, she will be discarded.

We also know that Jinshi will not hesitate to order corporal punishment if he views it necessary - for example, when Maomao discovers that the toxic face powder is still being used by Consort Lihua's ladies in waiting, she mentions in the aftermath that the eunuch who failed to recover the powder was flogged, while the lady in waiting who hid the powder is put in solitary confinement. These are brutal punishments - and if we consider the historical inspirations, these are also very restrained consequences. For hiding an item that caused the death of the prince (unfortunately, the more valuable child) and has put the life of one of the Emperor's favored High Consorts in danger, Jinshi would be utterly within his rights to order executions. If ignorance is a sin, ignorance in the face of knowledge is a greater one.

Microcosm of Li

For all that Jinshi holds his power lightly, he also takes the responsibility that power bestows upon him quite seriously. It's worth noting that Jinshi takes over governing the Rear Palace shortly after Maomao's service contract is purchased. (Remember, Xiaolan talks about the "beautiful, new eunuch that's been posted to the central courtyard," which tells us that Jinshi has not been in the Rear Palace long enough to become a fixture - he's an object of speculation and admiration from episode 1).

In context it's clear that, with the birth of two Imperial children, his job is to ensure the survival of the Imperial line and investigate why children of the Emperor are dying consistently in one of the wealthiest and safest places in the entire empire. We're shown him running in between Lady Lihua and Lady Gyokuyou to ensure that their very sick children are being seen to properly, investigating what could be causing it, while also managing tensions as rumors about the Emperor's children being cursed begin to spread and outright accusations of sorcery are being thrown between consorts. While the audience might immediately scoff along with Maomao at the idea of one consort cursing another, if Maomao hadn't found the cause of death, those types of accusations followed by Lady Lihua's and Princess Lingli's inevitable deaths could have ended with Lady Gyokuyou's execution.

The Rear Palace is a reflection of the nation as a whole. No Imperial heirs plus the deaths of two High Consorts with various foreign and domestic political ties had the potential to thrust the entire nation into chaos. Jinshi's choices have very real consequences, so when Maomao discovers what the true cause of death is and sends her warning, Jinshi looks at Maomao and doesn't see a person. He sees a "perfect pawn." A tool, one with talents that have ensured that at least one Imperial child has survived and providing a rational explanation why these children have died so that it can be prevented from happening again - and a skill set that can be turned to preventing any more shenanigans in the Rear Palace that could threaten the empire's foundation.

And, as Gaoshun points out, in the beginning of the hairpin scene, she is a toy. Maomao amuses Jinshi up until this point.

For all that Jinshi is shown wielding power with a light hand and a responsible mindset, it literally doesn't occur to him that the people working in the rear palace have stories - some tragic - about how they came to be there. They are resources to be used as befits the Emperor's (and therefore the nation's) need.

Hidden Beauty

When Maomao turns around and Jinshi doesn't recognize her until she speaks, he's shocked. He thought he knew exactly who and what this girl was - ugly and unremarkable, except for her intellectual brilliance and the challenge in managing her by other means than empty compliments and smiles. He attempts to recover and assumes that she is enhancing her looks - and is shocked again when he realizes that the face Maomao has presented to him so far is a protective mask against attracting attention. In a world where beauty is both a currency and a tool that others covet, Jinshi doesn't understand why Maomao would deliberately devalue herself like that. So she tells him.

This is the moment Maomao becomes a person to Jinshi.

Not a toy, not a pawn. Someone who has been ripped from her home and her life illegally and sold off. It's in this moment that Jinshi is forced to confront the ugly side of the society he lives in, people who would rape Maomao out of pure convenience or just take a "borderline marketable" girl off the street in order to get extra drinking money.

Worse, Jinshi is complicit in Maomao's captivity. The Rear Palace has bought her contract - and as the manager of the Rear Palace, Jinshi is responsible for everything that happens within its' walls. The fact that Jinshi does not personally oversee service contracts is irrelevant. The buck stops with him. If the Matron of the Serving Women or whoever is below her is buying these contracts without checking their sources, that is Jinshi's fault because he has allowed a lax enough system to flourish. He has failed to govern this microcosm of the nation wisely, with thought for the welfare of the least powerful among his people. Worse, he has failed to even notice the problem - Maomao may say she's angry about having been kidnapped and sold, but she doesn't react in a way that indicates anger. Instead, she's resigned. Yes, what happened to her was wrong and she's angry about it, but there's literally nothing she or Jinshi can do.

Or Is There?

Jinshi offers Maomao two apologies, the first of which is our first hint to his true status. "I'm sorry we couldn't police them better." Maomao immediately blows off this apology - she points out that there's no way Jinshi should have known and has a very "all's well that ends well" attitude about her situation - her contract will be up eventually and in the meantime she's managed to land in a fulfilling role. Essentially Maomao is telling Jinshi that this apology is not his to make - he's overstepping his responsibility. And, if Jinshi were simply the manager of the Rear Palace, she would be right. It's his job to ensure that the Rear Palace is properly staffed, not to regulate that all contracts comply with the law.

Jinshi apologizes again. This time, he offers no other context. He doesn't accept Maomao's absolution of responsibility - because he knows (even if we, the audience, don't) otherwise. It can certainly be read as Jinshi refusing to accept easy absolution, and the rest of those witnessing the scene, apart from Gaoshun, certainly take it that way.

Instead, he takes the hair stick from his own hair and places it in Maomao's. Their entire relationship has just been upended; Maomao is a person who has been gravely wronged and it is Jinshi's responsibility to begin to make it right. Aside from the personal implications of giving her the hairpin (and the faint blush on his face makes it clear that he's aware of them), it is a form of restitution. There is an unspoken social contract Jinshi is offering that Maomao does not understand in the slightest. It never occurs to her that Jinshi would do something for her with no thought of what he would receive in return, because of the difference in their social ranks. But, from Jinshi's perspective, that social difference is the point. He has failed her and, as the person of higher rank, it is his responsibility to do what is within his power to begin to remedy the situation in front of him.

And, of course, in that moment he sees Maomao in a new light, the other meaning of gifting her his hairpin has fertile ground to take root in Jinshi's mind.

#the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #jinshi #maomao #jinmao #long text post #apothecary diaries meta #kusuriya anime #knh #jinshi x maomao #jinshi and maomao #lady gyokuyou #lady lihua #princess lingli #gaoshun #hair pin #episode 5 #covert operations

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maomao9jinshi · 8 days

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My HERO JINSHI 🫶🏻🫠

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neo--queen--serenity · 1 month

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Flowers are often used as a metaphor for the female characters in the Apothecary Diaries. And for the first time, we, the viewer, are given the direct comparison to which flower is meant to represent Maomao: wood sorrel (also known as “cat’s foot”).

It’s a flower that can treat poisons. A flower that is used to enhance the beauty of the courtesans by painting their nails. A flower with a name associated with cats. A flower that, in hanakotoba, represents maternal tenderness. It’s also one of the flowers that Lakan specifically associates with Fengxian, and by extension, Maomao herself.

In the first opening—aptly titled, “Be A Flower”—the wood sorrel is the only flower that gets special attention. The other flowers are shown together with other varieties, but only the wood sorrel is shown by itself, and more than once.

We see it again in the second opening, with an infant being held by a parent, while flitting between images of Lakan and Fengxian’s backstory.

It’s such a simple flower, too. Small, unassuming, but full of diverse uses and qualities, be they medicinal or ordinary. A very fitting flower for Maomao, and what she brings to the story.

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izartn · 2 months

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A peak example of KnH using the messiness of the power diferencial for its plot and chara development are the eps 12-13. Anime-only here!

In order:

- Jinshi discovers there are 80 kidnapped girls like Maomao working in the rear palace; he could just sweep it all to retain Maomao and nobody could/would say anything. Who cares about servant girls?

- He decides to bring it to light and fire off the kidnapees (doesn't realize they're now without jobs and on the wind) and ask Maomao what she prefers, to stay or leave.

-Doesn't seem to realise he has such power over her her only answer will be, "whatever you want" (but I want to stay!) in loud subtext. Or rather he realises it, and thinks she would prefer to be free and go home, instead of like. Trying to ask via proxy one of the other serving girls or something. Then again I think he realised if he implied he wants her to stay she would, regardless of her wants soo. Even if she wants to stay int his case, he takes the safe route and lets her go home.

(aww he doesn't want her against her will!! low bar but like. he started off blazenly trying to seduce her so he could use her more efficiently so.)

-Maomao, unable to let herself voice her wants bc of her low class awareness, finds herself outside the palace, and a job she liked, with a debt to pay and a father that doesn't know?care? to manage money and so becomes a serving girl at the brothel. She doesn't have to sell her body, but yeah.

-Gaoshun is exasperated at Jinshi downmood, who's missing Maomao sincerity and presence (and who is if not already in love with her, pretty infatuated at this point) so he orchestrates Jinshi attendance to the private ball at which Maomao attends as hostess. All of this basically manipulating Jinshi for his own good lol.

-When Maomao and Jinshi find each other there, and they come clear (Maomao about her liking her job at the rear palace, Jinshi about wanting her there in his vicinity) now temporarily free of the direct servant-master link even if their social position is still wildly unequal; Jinshi directly voices he could buy her contract and Maomao thinks that's a wonderful way of getting what she wants: her debt erased, a job at the palace doing what she wants again.

Okay here comes the funny part. We all now that by this point Jinshi does want her full attention romantically (and sexually) even if he's never direct about it or even fully seems to realise it himself. He's concious enough of his position and likes her enough he doenst want to force himself upon her. And this deal would get him ownership over Maomao, which means he'd get her near him, and it'd be with her consent even!

(I think this is when I got it. He's so so lonely. Like. He's infatuated but he also wants someone he can trust and a friend, only Maomao is so below him socially it's all a minefield. If he buys her contract she'll be under his protection!)

And Maomao likes the idea because Maomao knows enough about him at this point she seems to trust Jinshi to behave as long as she also knows her place as apothecary and maid (lol Maomao you have more freedom than that and I think you subconsciously know it which is why you're considering at all going with him), and this is the best offer she can see for her near future. She gets to have the protection of a powerful patron and also get some freedom to experiment with her herbs and poisons.

-Her sisters at the brothel know enough to divine this guy likes her, so even if Maomao is like. "No he's buying my contract so I'll work on the rear palace again!" (which lol poor Maomao, and even only that would be favoritism) They doll her out as if she were a courtesan whose contract was bought by her lover.

-I cannot be more serious, that scene where he goes get her and they get on the carriage and everybody is "oh! lucky guy where was hidden that beauty" is super wedding themed. Jinshi who isn't above pettiness and using his power for some things, just straight up orders her to keep doing her fake freckles so people won't stare.

This is one of those things Maomao was already doing and doesn't seem to be trying to stop doing? So she's just like. OK weirdo. But it's also a clear show of power; he can make her change the way she does her face. It's just that in this case, as with the buying of the contract, she's on board so the order is funny instead of creepy. Jinshi also knows she prefers the freckles so this is a case of him noticing other people noticing Maomao is pretty and being silly.

-Surprise Maomao you won't be working at the rear palace! Look this is Jinshi blatantly using his power to keep her close. You can't tell me he couldn't have used his influence to get her there again, even "only" as an assistant apothecary and not a maid of honor, but Jinshi has her contract and he has plans. Not nefarious ones! But making her study for court lady so she can be his sort of secretary?

He trusts her intelligence and character, knows they've worked well on the various issues of past episodes, likes her, probably wants her to know more about court in general so she can defend herself when she comes to the limelight via their association, has probably nebulous plans of marriage, etc. So he's not passing this opportunity.

-Maomao wasn't expecting this and doesn't take very seriously the exam bc she doesn't have any interest on that. She's here to live comfy and have some freedom to explore her medicine and intellectually engage her mind with the misteries that Jinshi brings to her. Court lady? Any further implications of what that could mean for her future flee her mind, although I find interesting that in ep 19 there's a part where she goes: mmm, if I had studied harder I would already know this ministery function (could investigate the misteries better).

-Jinshi is kinda exasperated but doesn't punish her for her failure at the exam. He recognizes Maomao interest in medicine is her driving force so he doesn't take it against her, although he wants her to be his assistant in truth very much.

All of this together is a very interesting picture of their push and pull dynamic, and the until now kinda unequal romantic interest. Jinshi uses his status to get some advantages and get Maomao with him, but doesn't push further. Maomao uses Jinshi to get a work she likes where she can exercise her knowledge, and even when he surprises her with the court lady exam she only goes "oh well, I'll try" even if half heartedly. They both know Jinshi has the upper hand socially, and he does kinda trick her to get her as a personal servant (repit with me: everybody else is now thinking she's his lover from the brothel) but Maomao is also getting things she wants and he wants her to pursue her interests (except when it involves choking on poison or venom lol) so they're both pretty content in that ambiguous limbo.

Basically: they realistically set up Jinshi as a well intentioned, but high handed and a bit ignorant, powerful guy who does want to be with and near Maomao, for personal and also practical reasons (Maomao is very useful for uncovering plots within the palace!) this low class girl. Maomao has her own agency and decides that actually, what Jinshi is offering is a step up from what awaits her, and although conflicted about the similarities she perceives between the brothel and the women on the palace, working for him offers her opportunities she wouldn't be able to access on her own. It's risky as hell for her, but life as a low class woman (even as educated as Maomao) is pretty risky anyways so may as well go fr what she wants.

Pretty realist! I love that whatever Maomao feels for Jinshi, (and I'd argue she feels some kinda way about him even if she doesn't want to think about that) there's always this barrier on her mind about their status, so she's very cautious. (until she forgets herself on her love for medicine hehe)

Now. That's a momentary status quo that's totally gonna change, with the revelations of Maomao parentage and her saving Jinshi's life in the middle of a ritual where he was acting as the imperial brother publicly. But that's not what this post was about. This post was about showing an example of the power dynamics in KnH and why I love them on my romance.

Just in two episodes you have all that byplay! Like. Crazy. Super interesting. Arguably not very romantic, but that cautious balancing of each other and their situationship is what shows me the future romance has legs sooo.

#kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #knh meta #meta #my thoughts #maomao #jinshi #jinmao

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aquietjune · 4 months

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Allow me a very light-hearted and light-headed shippy post.

About Her:

She wants to lay low, do what she has to do, and get back home without being noticed

Of course that doesn’t happen; she’s too skilled

Skills she’s been taught by her adoptive father, and she’s very proud of them

A parental figure reared her to sell her body in order to make money off of her, and she opposed it fiercely

She shows limited emotionality, but in truth, she’s very empathetic and will help her friends in need

But she knows her place in the world; she knows she has to keep her head down and accept the system and hope she does survive, because she cares about surviving

Spiritually, she’s a cat

About Him:

He has to carry the world on his shoulders; great expectations are laid upon him

His natural parents have abandoned him out of certain circumstances and decisions made “for his good” and he’s been brought up in the house of his grandfather instead

He has charisma and uses his words and his smiles to bend the favor of the people around him

He’s been trained as a soldier but does not show it for his ways are very sweet, his appearance demure

Constantly overworked; the man needs a nap! (And has to be tricked in order to sleep)

Are these the reasons I like

AruAni, or just the essence of MaoMao x Jinshi? (Both!)

(And the fun thing is that the points in common are so blatant while the characters are completely different.)

#not me trying to mix (up) my fandoms again #i'm sorry i just needed to share #these are not spoilers heh #armin arlert #annie leonhart #aruani #shingeki no kyojin meta #annie x armin #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #jinmao #maomao x jinshi #i feel so silly now

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sidecharactersdomatter · 4 months

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I know on the Apothecary diaries wiki says that Lihua’s element is water and Gyokuyou’s is fire. I have a theory that Lishu’s is air and Ah-Duo’s is Earth

#my post #Knh meta #kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #mao mao #lihua #gyokuyou #lishu #ah duo

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mrsmarymorstan · 28 days

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@inja-y-ddraig Sorry for piss poor quality but yes. It does fit.

#morstan meta #Apothecary Diaries

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mcgrillzdumpinc · 5 months

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I'll likely make a more in depth post once I've read through all the translated light novels but

Hello Apothecary Diaries fans I am in volume 8 and would like to reassure you about the choking scene from volume 5

Spoilers under the cut!

Okay so there's a scene at the end of volume 5 (the manga is not there yet) that many have interpreted as sexual assault. For the sake of those sensitive to such topics, I'm going to give a light on spoilers version of the scene and then an in depth analysis. Personally, I do not view the scene as sexual assault, but it is very forceful and carries A LOT of very sad subtext. You'll understand what I'm getting at in the more depth part.

So, the general gist of the choking scene.

MaoMao and Jinshi are in the garden to escape a banquet. They talk for a bit about a very scary incident that occurred that day (thankfully nobody was killed) and share casual conversation. Then Jinshi brings up that they're at this banquet to find him a wife. I won't spoil the specifics, but fyi MaoMao has been wearing an accessory this whole time that loudly announces (to everyone except herself, of course) that She's The Favorite™. Despite how obvious Jinshi has been with his intentions, including holding her hand and combing his other fingers through her hair while mentioning the whole wife thing, MaoMao evades him while thinking "I'm not capable of love". So, she tries to dodge him by offering up another woman. This is what causes Jinshi to snap and choke her, as well as hold one of her arms behind her back to stop her from fighting back.

He doesn't kill her. As far as damage to her throat, the text doesn't indicate any. He then leans his weight on her. MaoMao then remembers how she was taught sex techniques against her will be the Verdigris House women & decides to use those techniques against Jinshi. She then promptly leaves and Jinshi feels like the most pathetic man in world.

The two don't interact beyond official matters until towards the end of volume 6. Jinshi brings more rare medicine in lieu of an apology. The two talk around the wife situation again and MaoMao gets tickled. It isn't until volume 7 that they have an actual conversation breakthrough.

That's my light on spoilers version of the events. Now I'll give a more in depth version, that's honestly a good chunk of my own meta-analysis around the events of volume 5.

Honestly, volume 5 is full of really interesting scenes regarding Jinshi and MaoMao. This is the first volume after Jinshi has been forced back into Imperial Brother status, yet the first thing I noticed that actually changed between JinMao is how MaoMao takes initiative with him now. As soon as she learns an insect plague might be on the horizon, she dives into unprompted research and delivers her findings to Jinshi. She's no longer working at the palace or for Jinshi, but she still takes on the extra burden. She also takes initiative to get Jinshi some extra sleep (though she misinterprets his desire to not sleep alone). And later in the novel, when they're in the paper makers' village, MaoMao acts so cute when reapplying Jinshi's burn scar makeup. I'll let screenshots talk for me.

Like man. She's so cute. And I wonder, if these two didn't have to deal with social standing and imperial drama, would we get way more of them just being cute and companionable? If MaoMao wasn't an unwitting member of the Who Wants To Be An Imperial Princess race, would her feelings for Jinshi have grown without so much pushing and urgency on his end?

But I digress. I think a lot of volume 5, especially once they reach their travel destination, is MaoMao trying her best to keep her blinders on even though she is in the thick of imperial drama. She's especially desperate with regards to the blazingly obvious fact that a certain someone of very high status is in love with her. I think the end of chapter 6 does a very good job of driving home one of the major reasons why MaoMao is reluctant to trust Jinshi's feelings.

To add fuel onto this unfortunate fire is that MaoMao, as an unmarried courtesan's daughter, was attacked as an infant by her mother, sought after by fucking Lakan of all people, ignored while crying as a baby, and forcibly taught sex (to the point of tears!). She also had to cover for Luomen's own eccentricities, specifically ensuring they had enough money to feed themselves. MaoMao, to put it shortly, has been taught not to believe she can attain anything beyond her very simple life of being a lowly apothecary.

And then here's Jinshi who, as a prince, has been forced to grow up fast & have all his favorite things taken away from him. I think MaoMao is the first time he ever wanted a person. He is, for lack of a better word, obsessed with her. I think a lot of his pushiness & tendency to be clingy with her is him desperately trying to make sure he doesn't lose her. If he makes her his wife, then, well, she can't leave.

And I think the choking scene is him finally at his breaking point. At this point, he has lavished her with gifts, been very forward sexually with her twice, and given her a new hairpin that is essentially this story's version of a promise ring. It's MaoMao's repression/reluctance vs. Jinshi's desperation and so far she's winning.

But then she pushes him past his breaking point and he takes physical action against her. MaoMao responds by performing an unspecified sexual act on him.

So why don't I personally take this scene as sexual assault?

Mainly because I think the people actually guilty of sexual assault her are the Verdigris House women who forced MaoMao to learn sex.

As far as I understand it, whether MaoMao can actually say no to Jinshi is left up to interpretation. If we're talking on social status terms, she can't say no. But if you look at Jinshi's overall treatment of her, both before and after this scene, I very much think MaoMao can say no and instead chooses to defuse the situation.

Because what isn't for interpretation, however, is MaoMao's abysmal impression of what love and sex can actually be for her. So she defuses a situation by using sex, something she herself doesn't like, and doesn't allow Jinshi to reciprocate, which leaves him feeling terrible, too.

I want to be clear. I do think Jinshi is in the wrong for physically attacking MaoMao. But the sexual portion of the scene, at least to me, falls squarely on the shoulders of MaoMao's fucked up backstory.

Anyway, I think I've typed for long enough. I am using the official translations of the light novel for this analysis, so if any fans have access to alternate translations or WN only knowledge that throw my analysis in the trash bin, please let me know (fyi puedo leer el español).

#analysis #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #maomao #Jinshi #jinmao #not a headcaon #well there's a smidge of headcanon #anyway it's 8 in the morning on a Saturday and I'm going crazy over jinmao how are you doing #oh also jinshi gets sentenced to yaoi fanservice in the opening scene of volume 6 it's great

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loony-bear · 18 days

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Thinking about how Kabru is presented as a foil to Laios narratively, but is actually, in the meta, a complimentary character - all the framing leading up to the two finally meeting leans on all the visual and literary tropes used to signal an opposite, a foil, a nemesis, but when you actually READ what is happening beyond the flavouring they’re more like mirrors, and their story plays out in a very satisfying but somehow still surprising way.

My favourite creative bit, for lack of a better word, is using an opposing trope to sneak a plot point that would be other wise easily clocked for being a natural conclusion, past the reader’s like a sorta three kids in a trench coat bit. Apothecary Diaries did this too with the Lahan storyline it’s good shit.

#dungeon meshi #the apothecary diaries

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atamascolily · 2 months

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first lines meme

Thanks to @virusq for tagging me! Skipping over multichapters and nonfiction/meta here to focus on shorts and one-shots.

Too weak to stand, Xie Ying Luo crawled. - Of Use (Thunderbolt Fantasy)

After Maomao had left the Inner Palace for good, Gaoshun found Jinshi huddled on his knees in the corner of his office surrounded by a sickly purple aura. - Mushroom Hunting (The Apothecary Diaries)

Homura woke before her alarm, as she always did--somehow, she knew what time it was without needing a clock and would jerk from a sound sleep to full alertness in seconds at precisely the right moment. -wake me up before you go-go (PMMM)

Ichigo Kurosaki never thought he'd see the day where he was grateful for the end of summer vacation, but the first week of the fall semester came as an immense relief. - Catching Up (Bleach x PMMM)

Your name is Mai Kawasumi and though you are a senior in high school, you are also an accomplished demon hunter who keeps the city safe by dispatching the monsters that no one else can see. -Demon's Serenade (Kanon x PMMM)

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? - Chicken and Egg (Null Magical Girl)

"Are you sure about this?" - Puppetmaster (Thunderbolt Fantasy)

"Mistress Frieren," Fern said sternly to the small figure crouched expectantly in front of a suspicious-looking wooden treasure chest tucked away in a corner of the dungeon. "You do realize that's a mimic, right?" -Improbable Odds (Sousou no Frieren)

The wild swans came down from the north in early autumn, the whistling of their wings echoing across the lake in the growing twilight. - Transmigration (Princess Tutu)

For a region supposedly devastated by the War of Fading Dusk, the Wasteland of Spirits contained no end of hostile inhabitants, all of them out for blood. -Unexpected Interference (Thunderbolt Fantasy x PMMM)

As you can see, I try to make sure my first line either functional (i.e., tells you who it's about and where in canon we are, if relevant) OR thematic. In other words, it explains either the setting or the what it's about--and sometimes, if I'm very lucky, both at once, as in the Homura one.

Stories are fractal, so I find it pleasing when the first sentence encapsulates the whole of the story in microcosm. I don't always achieve that, of course, but it's nice when it happens. So the fic about consent play begins with a question about consent; the story about wild swans and seasonal migration begins with their appearance; the story about fighting monsters in a wasteland begins with the dry observation that there's actually quite a lot going on in a supposedly empty landscape. And so on.

Because of this, I have a tendency for wordy first sentences, so it's nice to see I actually do vary my pacing a bit. I recall someone telling me once that you should never start with dialogue or a question, which, like most writing rules, can be safely ignored.

That said, I usually think of it more as "first paragraph" rather than first sentence, as you can see with the Frieren one. Anything I can't cram into the first sentence goes later in the paragraph if possible:

The wild swans came down from the north in early autumn, the whistling of their wings echoing across the lake in the growing twilight. Fakir stood on the dock with his neck craned and admired their fluid grace. In the water beside him, Ahiru watched too with her usual anatid inscrutability. Still, he couldn't help wondering if she wished she might follow them--if this little lake and his company weren't enough for her compared to the wide world beyond.

Here is the whole conflict of the story laid out--post-canon Fakir looks up at the swans, and he's wondering what Ahiru is thinking, and projecting his own ideas onto her because she cannot communicate in words. Everything that follows comes from this, and this is the image we ultimately return to at the end, with Fakir looking up at the swans once again--this time, hoping to see Ahiru and hoping she'll return, and the question of whether he is "enough" for her is finally resolved with her (non-verbal) answer.

In journalism, first lines/paragraphs are called "ledes", which I think is a great word, because you want to lead the reader along with you. Ledes can be any length--in a longer essay, the lede might be several paragraphs vs. a sentence in a short article--but they perform exactly the functions I've described above of explaining what the story is about and where it's going. Sometimes ledes are perfunctory, sometimes they're clever, sometimes the writer accidentally "buries" their lede by putting it later in the article. The lede may not necessarily be the first line, but it often is, and "find the lede" is a great exercise for writers in general.

Learning how to write ledes was the moment I really "clicked" as a writer--up until that point, I'd written thousands if not millions of words, but the spark wasn't there. Suddenly, I got it, and it completely changed my writing and my life. So I have a special fondness for them and they are also one of the hardest things to get "right" in a piece. I don't always succeed, but I keep trying!

#writing life #fandom memes

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cjrae · 23 days

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Stunted Love. Or: The Theme of MaoMao's little finger.

Maomao's little finger is a recurring motif in the Apothecary Diaries, and it receives even more emphasis in the anime's first season - it represents her belief that romantic love leads to pain and destruction. Spoilers primarily for the anime, but also the epilogue of light novel four and Chapter 15 of light novel six below.

Love In A Cage

The motif is first introduced in "The Unsettling Matter of the Spirit" - Concubine Fuyou's story. Maomao has already noted the parallels between the red light district and the Inner Palace, but here we see what happens when romantic love is introduced into the mix. On paper, Concubine Fuyou is a literal object of pity. Her personhood is being gifted to an officer who recently distinguished himself on the front lines, discarded after having failed to please the Emperor. It's telling that this is one of the first times we see Jinshi interacting with a consort where he is completely serious, without bringing his charm to bear. We never hear him say anything, but it's clear that he's communicating the Emperor's order with respect and understanding the gravity of the consequences for Fuyou.

As the events of the episode unfold, the parallels between courtesans and consorts get stronger as Maomao introduces the concept of having a contract bought out - if a man wants a courtesan enough, she is also an object to be purchased, albeit at potentially astronomical price. At first glance, it would seem like these women have absolutely no power in these scenarios - but by the end of the episode, Maomao shows us the feminine side of this transaction - how a woman can manipulate the system she is trapped by in order to get what she wants. All she has to do is lower her value - a rather counterintuitive measure that can go horribly wrong all too easily, as we see later.

And what Concubine Fuyou wants is to escape the Inner Palace to be with the man she loves - a task that she succeeds at. She has played a long, patient game in the service of freedom. Trapped in the cage of the Inner Palace herself, Maomao holds her scarred finger against the freedom of the sky and wonders what kind of medicine love would make.

Devotion

We see further flashbacks to Maomao's past through multiple episodes, but the next time the concept of love is brought up is when Fengming is confessing her role in the death of Consort Ah-Duo's baby in "Honey" (episode 11). Maomao is brought up short by Fengming's confession - she flat out says to the audience that she's never loved anyone with that depth of devotion Fengming displays toward Ah-Duo, so she doesn't know how Fengming feels. But if she doesn't have empathy to offer, she does have a rough kindness. Another person might have said that Ah-Duo deserved to know why her son died, that the knowledge might have provided closure. Maomao, however, believes that knowing the baby's cause of death would only cause more pain (it's never the crime and always about the cover-up) without providing any actual benefit.

With these two episodes framing her early character development we see that, whatever Maomao's natural inclinations are (and I will leave discussion of neuro divergency to those better qualified to discuss it), there is a certain distance between Maomao and her emotions most of the time. It is implied that this distancing from her emotions is a trauma response as the image of a woman holding a knife above her head while kneeling on a bed is shown but not explained (it is the only recurring image during the montage before the discussion about her potential execution with Jinshi).

Lakan and Fengxian

In "Lakan" (episode 18) the motif begins recurring more often as Maomao's parentage is revealed. We've caught glimpses of the sick woman in the annex before, but as the camera pans over the bed, it's clear that this is Maomao's mother (as always in anime, the hair is a dead giveaway). We've seen Maomao in this room, always curled in a fetal position, staring with blank eyes, but here we see Maomao actually caring for a woman who she describes as driving her out over and over again. The camera's focus is on Maomao's eyes as she watches her mother continuing to deteriorate - they're blank yet again, echoing her earlier line of "This is stupid. She's gone."

This is not the look of a girl who genuinely doesn't care about her mother. The image of her mother with the knife upraised is straight out of recurring nightmares that wake her gasping with terror and continue to haunt her after she's returned to work. While there is no AFFECTION involved, there are certainly very strong emotions here. Later, in the bath with Meimei, Maomao wonders if Meimei's in love - and immediately shies away from the thought, insisting that "love is an emotion I'm sure I left behind in the womb."

Interestingly, this is immediately belied as the Three Princesses (the women who took on the maternal role that her mother discarded) begin to pamper Maomao in the bath, and she relaxes into their touch, flushed with belonging and pleasure at their attention.

Confrontation

In "Blue Roses," (episode 22), everything has built to a head. By hiding Maomao back into the Rear Palace, Jinshi is acting as her shield - and Lakan responds with a power play. Both he and Jinshi are aware that Lakan knows his true identity, so Lakan provokes Jinshi with a political test. "Nothing is impossible" for a man with Jinshi's power - so providing some blue roses at a garden party in early spring should be simple, right? It's a near impossible task and Lakan knows it - even if Jinshi were to figure out how to dye the roses to be the appropriate color, they're still out of season.

Up until now, Maomao's response to Lakan has been to hide. But, with Jinshi's reputation on the line and seeing how worn out he is, Maomao has finally had enough. So she takes Lakan's challenge on and, while she's in the process of growing the hothouse roses so that Jinshi can best Lakan, she diverts unwanted attention from the Crystal Palace's handmaidens by showing Xiaolan how to do a manicure - something that draws attention to the deformed pinky on her hand and changes her perspective of the damage to the finger.

The art should be paid attention to here - we see close up shots of two other people's hands after having the manicure done - Xiaolan and Consort Lihua. In both of these shots, there's some subtle detail paid to their little fingers as well - Xiaolan's is ever so slightly crooked rather than perfectly straight, while Lihua flexes her fingers so that the pinky is extended as she looks at her hands. In the next shot, Maomao has done her nails as well - and when Jinshi draws attention to the fact that he's surprised she would do her nails (like Hongiang, Maomao usually prefers work over fashion), she looks at the finger and remarks that, even though her little finger is twisted and scarred, it looks better than it did before - an acknowledgement that the finger is not actually a hindrance, but a piece of her identity.

Healing

Giving Lakan the opportunity to finally do right by Fengxian is the most grace and forgiveness that Maomao can extend to either of her parents. Their romantic love is certainly sympathetic to an outsider, but Maomao was shaped by the consequences. Lakan's carelessness and Fengxian's willingness to break the rules of the pleasure district in order to deliberately lower her value so that she could be with the man she loved, is the guiding cautionary tale of her life.

But Maomao has also grown over the season. She is neither the terrified little girl, abandoned by mother and father alike (however unintentionally on Lakan's part) nor a teenager full of fear fueled rage at Lakan's persistence. She is Luomen's daughter and proud of that fact - she has found her family and a place in the world. It is with that more adult understanding of the world around her that she dances atop the wall of the Rear Palace, giving her parents the only thing she can, which is her blessing and best wishes for their short future, as she sends her mother off.

Sure enough, who is watching her as she takes a step toward a more mature identity but Jinshi? Other characters have provided a shield between Maomao and Lakan - Verdigris' madam, Meimei and even Luomen. But it is on Jinshi's behalf that Maomao decided to face Lakan herself. She loves her adoptive dad and granny and sisters with all the affection she never received from Fengxian, but Maomao's actions have always spoken much louder than her words - Jinshi protected her and she, in turn, chose to face her childhood bogeyman to help him.

Is it stating the obvious that Maomao tripping and Jinshi catching her is an obvious metaphor for falling in love?

As she dances on the wall, we see the two seemingly disparate sides of her identity coalesce into a whole. The moment she lets down her hair is a uniquely Japanese moment of eroticism (this is why maiko and geisha use the oshiroi that bare the nape of their necks), even as she's also deliberately reapplied her freckles.

The moment she realizes that Jinshi truly sees all of her in a uniquely emotional moment, she trips and is made terrifyingly vulnerable as she nearly goes over the edge - only to be caught safely in Jinshi's arms.

Safely back atop the wall, the little finger comes up one more time - except that this time, instead of looking at the damage inflicted and seeing the scar, Maomao looks at her pinky and shows it to Jinshi, telling him what sounds like a strangely gruesome medical fact. That a fingertip can regrow if cut off. For all the trauma that her biological parents caused her, for all that her pinky will be scarred for the rest of her life, the wound did heal. Maomao has healed - she is capable of friendship, loyalty and love that can inspire devotion - even if she rarely displays open affection.

Love Creates Fear

This motif comes back again, at the end of light novel 4 (what will be the end of Season 2, if the studio continues to stick to two light novels a season for pacing, which I expect they will). Jinshi has officially cast aside his cover as a eunuch and stepped into the political limelight as the Imperial Brother. Maomao, as a result of their adventures, has returned home, to her apothecary shop and, as she works she thinks about how everything has changed.

"Jinshi must have finally gone back to being whoever he really was. Maomao didn't know his real name: she couldn't have used it even if she did. The worlds they lived in were simply too different…Anyway, now that Jinshi was no longer a eunuch, he couldn't get away with keeping some lowborn girl around him…So it was for the best, really, that Maomao had come back to the apothecary's shop in the pleasure district."

As Maomao ruminates to herself about how she will never see Jinshi again, she retreats to what she knows best - medicine. She's got her emotions under lock and key and she's begun experimenting, working on creating a more potent painkiller. However, her pain tolerance is too high to work with her previous methods.

Or, to lay the metaphor bare, Maomao has dealt with abandonment before, but not like this. Her usual methods aren't working - so it's time to up the ante. What she does next is extremely telling.

"'Got to cut deeper if I want to be sure'. Maomao looked at her left hand, then tied some string firmly around her pinky. She stood and took a small knife from a cabinet. 'Here goes!'

Just as she was about to bring the knife down, a beautiful voice interrupted her: 'WHAT are you doing?'

Without a word, she turned to see a man in an unusual mask standing in the entryway of the shop…'Done with all your work?' Maomao asked, undoing the string around her finger and putting the knife back in the cabinet."

The thought that she and Jinshi are now living in such different worlds that they will never see each other again is painful enough that cutting her finger off in a thinly justified experiment is preferable to feeling her own emotions. What Maomao wants in this moment is a return to the emotional numbness of the past - only this time, she will do the damage herself.

But Jinshi is not Lakan and abandoning Maomao for any reason is simply not an option. Just as he caught her on the wall, Jinshi catches her again. A prince is standing in an apothecary shop on the edges of the red-light district, a place where he should not be - except for the fact that it's where Maomao is.

Connection and Communication

Finally, as a callback toward the end of light novel six, Jinshi and Maomao are beginning to reconnect after Jinshi screwed up and lost a lot of emotional ground in light novel five's epilogue, and he does the following.

"She reached out for the package, which Jinshi had put behind his back, but he planted a palm on her belly to keep her from sitting up and she couldn't reach it. She kicked her legs from sheer frustration and this time he grabbed her ankle. She was just trying to decide what he might be planning when he brushed the tip of his pinky finger along the back of her foot.

'Hrk?!' Maomao choked, squirming...The back of her foot, and her back as well, were hopelessly vulnerable to a gentle brush of the fingers.

'M-Master Jinshi...That's...not...fair!'"

While Jinshi is still the instigator in this scene, this is the the first instance of romantic and sexual contact that Maomao accepts, eventually bursting out laughing - and when he gets that laughter, Jinshi also immediately backs off, accepting that he has pushed her as far as she can go right now. But that first contact was via that tiny fingertip representing love.

His hard-learned patience is rewarded when Maomao is finally willing to speak to Jinshi about how she's feeling about his desire to marry her, first obliquely as they discuss the plot of a very familiar tragic romance, before she addresses the issue directly.

"Instead of answering, she murmured, 'I don't want to be an enemy.' Jinshi gave her a sidelong look as if to ask whose enemy she meant. 'To Empress Gyokuyou,' she said.

Would Jinshi understand what she was saying? If not, that was fine, Maomao thought. There were things even he didn't know.

'You - '

He seemed about to ask her something else when a horse whinnied outside..."

Maomao may be hesitant, she may feel very confused, but she finally gives Jinshi something to work with here - communicating to him not that she simply doesn't care about him that way, but that she has a very real, concrete fear about what a romantic relationship with him would mean, not only for them, but for everyone else around them.

That's a lot to balance on the tip of a pinky.

#kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #maomao #character analysis #jinshi and maomao #jinshi x maomao #jinshi #long text post #apothecary diaries meta #jinmao

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prstmmprhdl · 21 days

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Sooo I was tagged by @nanomooselet (sempai noticed me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) no but really woooow a person with so much such cool trigun meta knows I exist? I’m literally starstruck)

But I’m stupid and I don’t know who to tag in return :( I’m not even sure I know how to see who I’m mutuals with? I’m a technological granny that’s all anyone needs to know about me lol

But the questions are actually different:

Last song: Not Found by Buck-Tick. That’s a great song, I kinda forgot existed and actually expected to listen to Mudai (which means “No name”, so, it’s not that weird to confuse the two).

Favorite color: green. Deep moss green is the best, but any hue is great.

Currently watching: ugggh. Thanks to my husband I watch ongoings now ( >___>) they are suddenly really good. Everybody knows Dungeon Meshi, I think. It’s already a cult classic as a manga and Trigger continues to make history. I’ve juuust finished Frieren and Apothecary Diaries, Bucchigiri and Warumono San no kyuujitsu, Yubisaki to renren and Majyo to Yajyu. Have started Yoru no kagame wa oyogenai (PLEASE WATCH IT. JUST FOR THE CINEMATOGRAPHY ALONE! PS - god I love the way anime of this new decade uses “camera movement” and colors. Tengoku daimakyo and Chainsawman are probably the best examples here, but this slice of life/music dramedy already looks amazing) and Shyuumatsu no train wa doko e iku (this is boringly simple in the art department in general but the promise and the visualization of the surreal parts is really good, I’m hooked!). Gmg. I do watch movies as well, like, Poor things and Aliza Frankenstein are extremely good. Dune is very beautiful. Mami Wata is a black and white gem of a movie. But I think I should shut up already.

Sweet/savory/spicy: savory I guess? However I’m not a native English speaker and had to google for some time as I’ve previously considered savory not a taste, but… a feel? Dunno.

Relationship status: married. As for friendship, it’s mostly online as most my beautiful ladies live far away ~_~

Current obsession: Trigun. And. Like. Really. It is an OBSESSION. I love all the characters, I literally fall asleep and wake up with them on my mind. I’ve made myself a felted Vash toy. I’ve watched Stampede twice (don’t look at the number of things I watch. Without my husband I can’t finish shit. But this! I’ve screencapped every second of it it seems. I’ve read manga in English and Japanese (and sometimes badly translated to Russian for the lulz - there’s so much swearing it’s basically a different story). I’ve committed two art pieces for the first time in my life. I’ve put art on my walls and my laptop. And I even returned to reading fan fiction after almost a decade of staying away from ao3 (no shade here, I just never loved anything as much as to need any additional materials. Except for Hannibal. But that show was too perfect and didn’t need anything but deep analytics on the symbolism). Hmh. I want to plug “Becoming Eden” by Lenipes here. It’s so good it has become a fourth trigun “canon” for me.

Last thing I googled: how does savory taste lol

Hehe. That’s so long. I guess I just wanted to vent a bit?

Who can I tag? @6wings-manyeyes @esotericbird

Sorry to bother you. No pressure and all that~ just a little tag game to get to know mutuals better.

#tag game #who should I tag though #I was so pleased to be tagged!#I really wish I could talk to more trigun people #and anime people #and tumblr people in general #I used to know ppl here thrugh #fiction podcasts #those a great #aaaargh #I want someone who loves trigun AND wolf 359 #these two are so so soooooo cool #and somehow give off similar vibes ???#dunno #trigun #wolf359

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izartn · 2 months

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What's good about KnH is (besides its main char and bc of Maomao) the way it manages the power dynamics and what life was as a woman without falling into utter pessimism and powerlessness or full romanticism; which is a reason I usually avoid like the plague historical/pseudo-historical fiction with female leads.

Usually I'd be super skeeved out by the power Jinshi has over Maomao but the way the series presents both of them, their personalities and their agency (limited as it is for Maomao but it's there and it counts very much) it brings out all the best and interesting parts. I trust this series to get twisty with them bc it establishes so well Maomao own character and understanding of her situation and the ways Jinshi can and does or doesn't take advantage of his power over her.

Like. It's presented as a problematic element, but also unavoidable given their social situation and the world they live in, so I can trust given everything else this show has done when solving the mysteries and presenting us the situations of other women, that the romance will be treated with that same weight.

Honestly if you've read over what I like to read/watch in my tumblr you'll notice that twisty and even toxic/unhealthy dynamics are very much within my favorites, but it needs to be told in a certain way. And I'm much more difficult to satisfy when talking about het romance.

So to watch KnH, notice it's primarily about Maomao life and the various misteries/medicines/palace intrigue and the romance is playing second fiddle riffing on all the themes presented on the plot? And it's complex, and plays with messy power dynamics of gender and class, but never loses Maomao her personhood? Wow.

Also. Jinshi is so BL chara coded omg XD like, he's very clearly based on a kind of shojo ML prototype (hello tamaki suoh!) but it also pulls from BL in his case (nothing to do with their romances but I think of Yan Xiaohan re:his relationship with the imperial power, from Golden Terrace lol)

And yet his romance with Maomao wouldnt work near as well for what is trying to say if they weren't a man and woman (which I love in their case, is what has me fascinated). Yes~! Get into the meat of how fraught it is for a man and a woman to be together when the man has so much power over her. Get into it!!!!

He's so so messy and fun as a chara too. Sheltered and not at the same time, you really notice all the things he misses by way of his privilege of being a noble born man (and specifically royalty, last ep (19) left that very clear he was doing a ritual probably by proxy for the emperor and also bay exchanges people. Maomao noticed and buried that thought far far below her subconscious but we all now who he is lol). Like. The way he fumbles and ends up essentially harassing Maomao at the start sometimes, which is both played for comedic effect and also upsetting. Mmm.

Like I said, I like complexity.

Also that part when he buys Maomao contract and he goes to collect her and she's all dolled up, and the clear implication by everybody but our mains (who clearly prefer to live in willfully blind land although for Jinshi I think the subtext of what he's doing lands when he sees her) is that in any other case she'd be his concubine/side-wife. It's not their situation wight now, and she's put to work as a live-in maid and apothecary and put to study (he wants her to assist him in politics lol I love that, but also he's so so lonely) but it's very much what the palace rumor mill says.

LIKE. I love the messiness! It could go soooo badly, but it also could not and there's Maomao living at the edge bc despite herself and what she says, she wants more from life, but also as she says the rear palace isn't all that different from the high class brothels and ugh. That tension. She has to depend on the favor of a man as a women of low class but she also could lose her head! GAH. And then there's feels involved! Aaagh.

#the apothecary diaries #my thoughts #kusuriya no hitorigoto #KnH meta #meta #maomao #jinshi

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