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i-guess-im-into-this-now · 3 days

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The Apothecary Diaries

S1E14 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Content warning: Discussion on sexual harassment, assault, and rape

My character/location cheat sheet

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Lady Gyokuyou - Precious consort

Hongniang - Lady Gyokuyou's attendant

Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's pavilion

Concubine Lihua - Wise Consort

Concubine Loulan - the new Pure Consort

Lady Lishu - child bride concubine

Lakan - mysterious officer

Lihaku - young military officer

Pairin - one of the princesses of Verdigris House

Opening. Like with many of the openings in this show, I don't know what is happening yet. But it is visually and musically stunning. The strings bowing out some poignant melody while a woman under a red umbrella crosses a nearly colorless courtyard with her retinue. I'm guessing this must be the new concubine. Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the crown that Lady Ah-Duo wore. This lady ditches it as soon as she comes into the Garnet Pavilion. I wonder how she feels about being made into the newest high ranking concubine. Her face is revealing nothing to me.

I don't know what Lady Gyokuyou is up to, but I love her, so I'm looking forward to whatever "good timing," she's trying to take advantage of. Probably trying to see Maomao I'm guessing.

Oh good, Maomao is planting her own herb garden. Perfect! Finally a way to start to make a place for herself in Jinshi's world. Maybe she can find a way to fit in here. Suiren doesn't care about this garden though, she wants Maomao to clean the office. And I'm starting to wonder if this lonely residence is maybe not as great for Maomao as the Jade Pavilion was. Back in the Jade Pavilion, Maomao was surrounded by people who cared about her and supported her. That isn't to say that Suiren won't, but who else even lives here? Gaoshun? I mean there is Jinshi of course, but I'd like to know she fits in with more than just him.

Turns out Jinshi is in the office that Maomao is meant to clean, so maybe Suiren is just trying to push Jinshi and Maomao together.

Something truly screwy has happened. Maomao has been selected to teach the new Pure Consort. What they want her to teach, I don't know. Probably not poisons. As it turns out, Lady Gyokuyou has written a recommendation for Maomao. A chance to get Maomao back into the Rear Palace so they can all see her maybe? Oh haha, Lady Lihua, wants her back too! Well Maomao did teach Lady Lihua something useful! Terrific! Maomao, who just failed her exam to be a court lady, is now highly recommended to teach the new high ranking concubine. Incredible.

Before Maomao had walked in, Jinshi called the situation "perplexing," followed by a frustrated or maybe thoughtful hum. Then when Maomao arrived Jinshi definitely made a frustrated sound. Was he upset that he would most likely need to send her out of his residence, and back to the Rear Palace? Was he upset that this seems like a blatant excuse for those concubines to see her? Or maybe he's upset that she failed her exam to be a court lady, because she does show up ready to clean his office, carrying all of her cleaning equipment.

Jinshi: The Rear Palace has set it's mind to the Concubine's education. And they selected you to be the teacher. Maomao: That's a good one.

Maomao, doesn't see how she could be good enough for a position like this. It must be a joke.

Jinshi: I'm not joking here.

And, oh yeah, he's not happy. He doesn't like that two of the top concubines have forced his hand like this. And maybe he also doesn't like Maomao's self deprecating attitude He sends her off so abruptly, that it seems curt. And what the hell is Jinshi's issue? Why is he acting like this with Maomao? Maybe he is just uncertain what to do with her. She's so capable at certain things, and yet... there are certain things she just won't or can't do. She's a highly requested teacher to the top concubines in the rear palace, yet she can't pass the test to become a court lady. Maybe that is what has Jinshi so annoyed. Maybe he can get over himself, while Maomao goes on her mission.

Does Maomao still owe money to Verdigris House? WTF. Maomao tries to stealthily change her wages but Suiren immediately shuts that down, even though Jinshi was willing to pay her more.

Jinshi seems excited about Maomao's class now and wants to see what teaching supplies she is bringing to the Rear Palace and Maomao becomes defensive.

Maomao: Under no circumstances can he see these!

What does she have in there? Maybe it's some courtesan stuff. Perhaps she's going to try to teach the new consort some brothel tricks?

Maomao insists on pulling her own cart. Maybe she didn't realize that Jinshi and Gaoshun would also be coming to the Rear Palace or she wants to be sure no one gets a chance to look at the racy goods she's transporting.

Jinshi is received like a celebrity, with lines of adoring fans all hoping to catch a glimpse and make a comment about his appearance. He puts on a smile and laughs, but I think he hates this. Maybe Maomao should draw some freckles on him.

And maybe this is a good time to take a closer look at what Jinshi's experiences have been with sexual harassment. I have @cjrae and @teaflowsthroughthesesims to thank for opening my eyes to some things in the comments section of the last blog.

Jinshi has been getting this kind of reaction to his appearance for a long time. I'm realizing now why he was so excited to have Maomao glare at him in one of the early episodes. People so often look at him and see his beauty, but not the person. He has never had to worry about that with Maomao. Her absolute lack of self value means she never considered for a moment that Jinshi would see her as a viable romantic partner, and so therefor never bothered to look at him with a lustful eye. It's rather sad that that was a novel experience for Jinshi.

We know that his own female servants have tried to leave their underwear in his closet. I've learned that the undergarment made of human hair is meant to be a love spell. How utterly fucked up. Just as bad is the fact that people have tried to sneak aphrodisiacs into his food before. Maomao identified one for him way back in episode 2. I did not realize that when he asked Maomao to make an aphrodisiac that he would be using that to retaliate against the male officer that gave him the drugged food, and it becomes apparent that he did when we hear the rumor about a man who "hates women" that was seduced by servant girl. I've been taught that "hates women" is a euphemism for gay men. So Jinshi has been experiencing sexual harassment from both men and women, and it ranges from lascivious comments that he hears on the street like we see in this scene, to very intimate acts like the undergarment in his own drawer and food that was given to him. It's one of the reasons Gaoshun attends him everywhere. Perhaps Maomao should be a food taster for Jinshi.

I can't help but think about the moment when Jinshi gave Maomao his hair pin. She had just explained her story of being captured and sold, but also about how she had been sexually harassed. He probably felt a powerful empathy with her then. Imagine what it would mean for him to share his own experiences with her.

Jinshi wants to attend Maomao's sex ed class, but she literally pushes him out the door. Delightful. She says they are going to be discussing sensitive womanly issues, so, cool, maybe Maomao is the right choice for this class. She might actually teach these ladies something. Maybe prevent a few UTIs and yeast infections.

Lady Gyokuyou is so happy that her favorite romcom Maomao is back. Maomao knows everyone in the room, other than the new concubine, Lady Loulan and her attendant.

Maomao shares a book that gets blushes all around the room, as well as a few more dramatic reactions, so it's got to be something she learned at the brothel. The new lady seems to be ignoring Maomao?

Jinshi has his ear pressed to the door, like a creep. Is he worried about what Maomao will teach these ladies, or just curious about what she knows? Maomao bust him trying to listen in. When he finally sees what's going on in the room, he's not so sure he should have agreed to all of this. Lady Gyokuyou and Lady Lihua seem pleased, but Lady Lishu is traumatized, and most of the attendants are freaking out. Only Lady Loulan seems unfazed. What is her deal any way. All I've seen her do so far is discard her crown in the opening scene, yawn, gaze off at nothing, discard the book Maomao gave her, and ignore everything around her. Is she bored? Depressed? Does she have a disability? Maybe she isn't ignoring everyone, maybe she literally can't hear them? Of maybe she can't understand the language? It would explain why she's not moved by anything being said and why the book is of no interest to her. Maomao did point out that her clothes are of a foreign style. I can't figure her out. Maomao says that Lady Loulan is unreadable. Agreed.

Maomao actually seems pretty pleased as she lays down to sleep. She's giggling about her bonus, and I have to appreciate her commitment to avarice.

The hell? Was that an explosion? Maomao thinks to investigate, but then gives up at the thought of Suiren. How much impact does Suiren have on Maomao's behavior? Is Maomao afraid she'll get in trouble with Suiren? Is this a good influence that is keeping Maomao from behaving recklessly, or is it a bad influence that stymies her curiosity and impulse to help others?

We get a name to the mysterious man from last episode, Master Lakan. He's investigating the explosion and has found that opium pipe from last episode. His face says he knows something, but when someone asks if he found something, he says no. Is he involved with this explosion somehow? Is he going to cover up some piece of evidence? Is he an investigator in the palace? If so than he probably will cross paths with Maomao at some point, since she can't help but get involved in mysteries.

Maomao is working in Jinshi's office today. She's surprised to see how much work falls to a eunuch of the Rear Palace. And for fuck's sake Maomao, the man is so clearly not just a Rear Palace eunuch. I think she must be intentionally delusional about this. She's already figured out part of the puzzle that is Jinshi's background but chose to discard it. Perhaps the truth is too intimidating for Maomao to face.

Because if she were to accept who and what Jinshi is, that would probably be the end of all of this. It would widen the gulf between them as Jinshi was worried about a few episodes ago. It's something Maomao is also very worried about. She's being very careful that she doesn't do anything that will force them to part.

Jinshi is so obvious with his attraction to Maomao, and Maomao is so reserved, that it can often seem like this is a one sided relationship. Maomao doesn't dare think about her feelings for Jinshi, much less speak or act on them. To get an idea of what she's feeling, we have to make some assumptions. But they aren't totally unfounded, we can see evidence of Maomao's feelings in some of the choices she makes, and in some of the actions she takes, even if we may be waiting a real long time for her to think about or verbalize them.

Maomao has managed to secure herself a position here in Jinshi's residence, in a position that keeps her close to him. She chose to come back to the palace. She gave up the people she calls family in the Pleasure District, and the career she loves as an apothecary to return to the palace. And yes, she thought she was going to be working in the Rear Palace, but she's not complaining about being in Jinshi's residence instead. In fact she's planting her herbs in the yard. She's literally and metaphorically putting down roots here.

Though Maomao thinks she's not worth the affections of a eunuch official, she has still managed to build a rapport with Jinshi. They can banter, and solve mysteries together hold each other when they're drunk and sad. She likes that he encourages her to use her skills, that he appreciates her abilities, that he pushes her out of the places she hides, so that she can grow. And for Maomao that's pretty nice actually. All of it is more than she would hope for from him. It's a beautiful dream, that falls apart if Jinshi is more than a simple palace official. Because even as a simple official, she's taking more than she deserves. It's completely inappropriate already. If he's a prince... there really, really isn't a place for her in that world. So she holds on where she can for now, and takes what is offered, and very carefully does not think about Jinshi's true identity.

Also, because Jinshi is a "eunuch" he is safe for Maomao. She has some serious fears around sex. When she told us about being sexually harassed she said that nothing ever came of it, and I do think that being attacked, even if she was not raped is enough to cause this level of trauma. There could be more though. She told that story to a pavilion full of people, it's highly likely that if there were a more serious story about sexual assault that she may not have told it so publicly. Regardless of the origins, Maomao has sexual trauma. As a "eunuch," Jinshi would not be able to assault her that way, even if she thought he were willing to. So, it's easier for Maomao to continue to believe an increasingly unbelievable delusion, than to deal with her trauma.

I am so here for the Gaoshun-Maomao dynamic. Gaoshun is mothering "Xiaomao" and making sure she stays warm, because it's cold outside after all. Maomao is once again thinking about what a catch Gaoshun is. You know, if things don't work out with Jinshi, then Gaoshun could be a nice runner up.

Oh and Jinshi has noticed all of that! He's literally growling. Back the hell up off his girl Gaoshun! Oh my god this is a hilarious scene. Now Gaoshun is claiming the cloak and thoughtfulness came from Jinshi. I wonder if next time, Jinshi doesn't get up and bring her a cloak himself, rather than sending Gaoshun.

Maomao: To need permission to give warm clothes to a chilly servant. Talk about bureaucracy.

Holy hell, her ability to misread a situation... is just... mindboggling. I know her confidence is nil, she is incapable of seeing Jinshi's affection for her, but the mental gymnastics required to come up with other possible explanations is a lot.

Once again, medicinal herbs have drawn Maomao to the military officers side of the palace grounds. She happened to run into Lihaku. Jinshi is not going to like that.

Lihaku fell in love during his night at Verdigris House, and now he has dedicated himself to his career advancement so he can buy another night with Pairin. But in the meantime he drinks frugally with other girls hoping to catch a glimpse of his love.

Maomao says she's been transferred to a palace official's personal quarters.

Lihaku: Transferred huh? And to such a thankless detail. Maomao: Yup, I've gathered that much.

Something didn't seem right here, so I switched from the English dub to the Japanese with English subtitles and got:

Lihaku: Personal quarters? Who's crazy enough to do that? Maomao: Yeah, I wonder the same.

This is really not an important scene, so I'm not sure why I'm so hung up on it, but I think something is probably lost in translation. I think what Lihaku is implying is that the move is a bad one for Maomao. It's not as prestigious as working for a high ranking concubine in the Rear Palace. In a private residence how will a servant stand out or advance? Lihaku is all about climbing the ranks, and he pities Maomao for getting stuck in a position where she can't. Maomao has gathered that this position isn't one to bring her career advancement, but she doesn't cares about that, it's not why she wanted to return to the palace or why she is finding contentment in her new job. So she pokes fun at herself yeah I guess I am crazy for taking this position, not because she's missing out on a chance to advance her career, but because she's given up on other options for her life like being an apothecary in the Pleasure District, to take a risk in the palace.

There was a fire last night, the origins of which are unknown. Maomao cannot resist a mystery. Maomao surmises that it was an explosion and that the military suspects arson. Maomao finds that same opium pipe that Lakan did. She has an idea, and now she just needs to prove it. She asks Lihaku to bring her a few things. Maomao builds a very nice wooden box, and Lihaku compliments her. She remembers a time when she was young, at home with Luomen while he examines a box. Maomao uses her box to demonstrate how improperly stored powder such as flour can be combustible. She surmises that someone went into the warehouse to light a pipe and accidentally caused the explosion.

Damn I like watching her work.

Lihaku: How is it you know these kind of things. Maomao: Simple. I once blew up a room at the Verdigris House experimenting with powders. Lihaku: You're a menace.

I don't know if Lihaku is taking personal offense to her causing trouble at the brothel where the love of his life lives, or if he just thinks she's weird and dangerous. Either way, I don't think Jinshi has anything to worry about when it comes to Maomao and Lihaku. I'm looking forward to him be jealous about this anyway.

Maybe I do understand how she can still owe the Verdigris House, if she has destroyed rooms in the building before...

Maomao kept the fancy pipe, accidentally of course, we've all forgotten about her klepto-urges a couple episodes ago, right? I can't help but think that keeping this pipe is a mistake. There is a lot that could go wrong if someone finds that in her things. She could be accused of using opium to start, but she could also be accused of stealing it, selling drugs, associating with nefarious people, or who knows what else. I don't like that she has it. She considers returning it. I hope she does.

The final scene is of a man having a break down in an eatery. He breaks something and cries about being "worthy too." I don't know who he is, but the other dude who looks back over his shoulder looks familiar. Was he around when Sir Kuonen died? Do we have a serial killer in the palace? Or maybe an assassin?

Want to start from the beginning: Episode 1

Next Episode:

Episode 15

#the apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi #jinmao

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