#he feels worse about killing the VULTURE than he ever really did about killing the specialist because he actively CHOSE to do it this time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovelybarnes · 3 years

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reckless- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, platonic!sam wilson, platonic!natasha romanoff, platonic!steve rogers

warnings: mentions of injuries, descriptions of fighting, angry bucky, a horrible ending, i kind of really hate this

about: “the things i feel for her are unlike anything i’ve ever felt before.” for a sleepover!

i actually wrote another one with the same quote but i didn’t think it fit so i changed it (that one will be posted tomorrow or the day after so i can edit it)

you’re annoyingly reckless to a point where it gets dangerous.

he’s told you this a thousand times before but you don’t listen- aren’t listening at the moment.

he knows it’s ironic that he’s being reckless by not paying attention to what’s going on, too concentrated on you- even if you’ve told him countless times that you literally can’t die (to which he responds with a “you never know!” because, really do you?)- but he has a metal arm and sam, who’s been hovering around him like a vulture after noticing his lack of concentration.

before he can react to it, a slimy arm is promptly cut off by you, the blade you threw now back in your hands and stained green with the things’ blood. you scowl at it and shoot him a dirty look, “pay fucking attention!” you demand, shaking the weapon haphazardly to get the goo off. he can’t believe that the words came out of your mouth but rolls his eyes and obeys, knocking an ugly alien down and crushing its chest with his boot.

he can still hear your cocky remarks and giggles- yes, giggles, you giggle when you fight life threatening menaces- paired with the gross sounds of your knife impaling the aliens they’re fighting. it’s the only thing keeping him from practically babysitting you, a reassurance that you’re there, careless and impetuous, but alive and close.

suddenly, he can’t hear you, and he turns to what he quite possibly believes to be the most disgusting thing he’s seen in his life (and it’s been a long one, so far). you’re blue, covered in a slimy substance, and your face is so red, it’s beginning to look nearly purple with the cyan sheen over it. you screech abruptly, wiping at your face angrily and jumping at the thing that probably did that to you. he nearly feels pity for it. nearly, because, in your rage, you hadn’t even noticed the large gash along your shoulder. before he can go to you before you kill yourself, his metal arm feels like it’s being sucked, taking him with it, and he grunts. “what the fuck-” he manages, unsure of what he’s looking at, but trying to cut through the sticky arm attached to his own. you’re there in five seconds flat, still blue and still angry, which he notices makes the slicing through the appendage easier.

you seem to decide to stay with him after that, and he’s not sure if he’s offended because you don’t think he can take care of himself- which is ridiculous, since this only happened because he was taking care of you- or touched.

“god, i wish i had wanda’s powers. chaos magick works a lot faster than causing chaos,” you complain, trying to wipe away the blue sludge at the same time and wincing when it tugs at your injury. he is reminded of the shoulder wound he nearly got his arm ripped off for trying to warn you, and he stops your hand. “you’re bleeding, you should probably be a little more careful with this.” he motions to your arm, avoiding touching it.

you frown at him, “it’s fine, it’s just a little cut.” (it’s most certainly not a “little cut.”)

“y/n-”

you extend the hurt arm over him and flick your hands when you see an alien about to rip bucky’s head off, a grimace passing your face that he sees but you try to cover up anyways. “see? it hurts you, you need-”

“i just saved your life, would a hurt person be able to do that?” you cut him off, and he stares at you. noticing a green thing coming up behind you, he grabs your waist and moves you out of the way, shooting it with his gun and watching as it drops to the ground. “ow!” you protest, “you hurt my-” seeming to realize you’re about to prove him right, you shut up and roll your eyes. “you’re welcome,” bucky huffs, wiping away some of the blue stuff from your cheek.

your cheeks warm against his touch without your permission, and you turn away. bucky smirks at your reaction.

“shut up,” you grumble, extending your fingers and aiming at a group of the aliens ganging up on natasha. they freeze for the few seconds they’re under your control, and nat manages to take out two in the moment. the three left break out of the trance, turn to each other, and begin to fight. natasha makes eye contact with you in a form of thanks and starts to take the rest out. you hear a gun go off behind you and turn to see one of the things that sprayed you on the floor. bucky saved you again, great, it’s not like he’ll rub it in your face forever.

“you need to pay attention, what if i’m not here?” bucky scolds. “then never leave,” you flirt casually in response. with a few twirls of your finger, most of the aliens stop paying attention to your team and begin attacking their own teammates.

you don’t notice when one of the few unaffected beings picks up a discarded gun and shoots at you twice. bucky moves you away from a head shot, but one lands opposite to the bleeding slash on your shoulder, and the other hits your thigh.

“goddamnit, y/n, pay attention!” bucky growls, holding up your full weight when your adrenaline begins to run out and everything becomes blurry. “‘m fine,” you try to reassure, attempting to stand back on your wobbly legs. bucky doesn’t let you, shooting at as many aliens as he can with one gun. he turns to look at your state after he shoots most of them, allowing the others to take care of it while he tries to take care of you. his metal hand is touching the small device in his ear, telling the others the situation while his other arm holds you up. you might be delirious now, and your eyelids are becoming increasingly difficult to keep up. “hm, i’m not going to die, b’cky.” you tell him, noticing the increasing panic in his voice as he talks to steve. “stop saying that, how would you know if you haven’t died yet?”

his question is confusing for your foggy brain, so you decide to skip it, unknowingly making his worries worse. the blood running down your back isn’t stopping, and bucky stops for a second to lift you up completely, tucking his hand underneath your knees to carry you. at the tug at your thigh, you bite back a scream. bucky pretends not to notice; his hands are covered in a warm red. he’s trying his best to ignore it.

“don’t die,” bucky whispers again and again, making you frown, “how many times do i ‘ave to tell you i can’t die?”

“i’ll believe it when you don’t,” bucky mutters, and the blue sky turns to gray when he’s inside the quinjet. he sets you down on the medbay cot, looking lost as he calls out friday’s name. “yes, mister barnes?”

“y/n- uh-”

“do a scan on me and… and treat accordingly,” you interrupt. “scanning now,” friday obeys, and you turn to bucky. “by the time you figured it out i would have bled out.”

“that’s not funny, y/n,” bucky says seriously. you squeeze your eyes shut for a second, “calm down, i’ll be fine.” friday has enclosed you in some clear glass, red grids letting you know of your condition. “ooh, that’s bad,” you mumble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend. “what?” said boyfriend asks, and you wave him off as best you can- which means a pathetic bounce of your arm- and tell him to let friday do her thing. “we are not done here,” bucky instructs, but sits next to you and holds your hand. you can see his glossed eyes now, you wonder how you didn’t see them before.

“shouldn’t you be fighting?” you ask, a wave of exhaustion crashing over you. rest, your body begs. you’ll comply later. “they’re almost done, the chaos thing you did makes their job a lot easier.”

“‘s what i do,” you say breathily before falling asleep.

you’re still in the quinjet the next time you open your eyes, which lets you know it’s only been a few hours and you’re feeling better already. goddess healing, you think, looking around to see bucky’s hand still around yours. he looks worried, the hard lines usually softened by the sound of your voice as hard as you’ve ever seen them. you squeeze his fingers gently. “bucky,” you coo, “i’m not dying anymore.”

bucky turns to you immediately, squinting, “that’s not funny.” it’s like deja vu, but you’re not sure from where.

a vein on bucky’s neck throbs, and you’re aware that you’re pushing it, so you stop for a second, “i was just kidding, i-”

“no!-” bucky’s voice is near yelling, so he shuts his eyes for a moment, continuing in a lower voice, “you almost died, do you know how terrifying that is? you nearly bled out in my arms.” sam, nat and steve, who were waiting for you to wake up next to bucky, pause when he raises his voice. “bucky-” you start, softer now, trying to sit up. bucky stands, “listen to me!”

steve stands, beginning to put a hand on bucky’s shoulder, “buck-” he’s silenced with a cold look from bucky. sam gets to his feet too, telling steve and nat to give you both a minute. they do, after nat kisses your cheek like she always does when you get hurt. you’re sitting on the edge of the bed now, reaching for bucky, “bucky?”

“you don’t… you don’t know how much you scared me, y/n. you have to stop being so careless,” he says after a few seconds. you furrow your brows, “i’m not careless, i’m confident in my skills.”

“you are. you’re careless and reckless and hasty and i need you to not be,” he says harshly, you frown. “why? i’m fine and i’m always going to be-”

“you don’t- you don’t understand!-” bucky snaps. “then help me understand,” you implore. bucky closes his eyes tightly again, breathing in slowly. “the things... that i feel for you are unlike anything i have ever felt before, and i can’t- i can’t lose you, okay?”

“you’re not going to,” you assure, extending your arms towards him, noting the tiny ache in response. he walks over to you, letting you grab his jaw when he’s close, you run your fingers over his cheeks gently. “i’ll be more careful,” you promise. bucky nods, tucking his face into the dip of your neck. you run your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, letting him squeeze your waist almost to reassure himself you’re actually there.

“hey,” you say quietly after a few moments, pressing tender kisses to bucky’s cheek, “sit down, i want to do something.” you stand, grabbing onto bucky’s arm when you stumble a little and promise him you’re fine and are taking it easy. you take out the first aid kit from one of the cabinets, setting it down next to bucky, opening it and taking out everything you need. you begin to clean his cuts, putting a pink hello kitty bandaid over one of his particularly bad ones. it’ll be gone within a day, but you can’t resist, and it makes him laugh.

you hum while you dab at a small scratch next to his eye, and he chuckles lowly, you look up at him, “what?”

“you’re still a little blue.”

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vincememes · 3 years

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banana fish starters

WARNINGS: IMPLIED SA, VIOLENCE MENT, DRUGS MENT spoiler warning . to make it less long, the rest is under a cut.

feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

ASH LYNX

❛ even if i did know something, what good would it do? ❜

❛ even a stupid street punk like me knows that ❜

❛ i envy you … being able to jump like that. ❜

❛ what could be more relaxing than three days away from these guys? ❜

❛ i wish i could hate you. i need someone to hate. ❜

❛ someone is dead. not that you’d give a damn one way or the other. ❜

❛ treating him like you’re giving the pope a bath isn’t going to help. ❜

❛ aren’t there any decent parents in this world? ❜

❛ that guy always regarded me as a human being with a real heart, not some sort of tool. ❜

❛ this little act of charity, you’re going to regret this. ❜

❛ i tried to forget. ❜

❛ stay with me... i won’t ask "forever". just for now. ❜

❛ well, i already know you’re a sick man. ❜

❛ ready to lose your life over a pizza? ❜

❛ my name... has become the signal for a massacre. ❜

❛ what on earth... have i become? ❜

❛ what do you think i am...? i’m a murderer... okay? ❜

❛ i told you before. i kill people. ❜

❛ they paid the price for their decisions— that’s all. ❜

❛ what the hell do you know?! ❜

❛ let‘s say i am ‘exceptional’. the problem is, i never, ever, my whole life wanted to be. ❜

❛ you said i am not like ordinary people. ❜

❛ there’ve been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead. ❜

❛ that nothing could be worse than what was happening to me right then. ❜

❛ at times like that...death looks sweet and peaceful, and unbearably enticing. ❜

❛ war is always good business for those in power. ❜

❛ sorry to destroy your youthful innocence. ❜

❛ you have any idea what those guys made us do? ❜

❛ don’t tell me you still believe the pen is mightier than the sword. ❜

❛ if you ask me, the white house can go screw itself. ❜

❛ i wonder if i’m dying somewhere. ❜

❛ i wasn’t expecting the law to protect me. ❜

❛ i’ve ignored it all my life... i sure as hell don’t plan on hiding behind it now. ❜

❛ just keep them away from me— please! ❜

❛ this town’s my backyard, remember? ❜

❛ sunrise and sunset are about the only times this junkyard of a city looks good. ❜

❛ even if i said no, you wouldn’t go back anyway. ❜

❛ if you went home i’d probably worry if something happened to you. ❜

❛ so it’s better you’re right here, where i can keep an eye on you ❜

❛ some people never change. ❜

❛ vulture got together with the viper. you make a great pair. ❜

❛ why now after all this time— does it have to be you, of all people...? ❜

❛ i don’t stand a chance. i’m dust against him. ❜

❛ over my dead body. if anybody hurts you... it’ll be over my dead body— ❜

❛ i don’t care who it is. i am not letting anybody hurt you. ❜

❛ do i scare you? ❜

❛ dont give me your stupid advice. ❜

❛ i’m happy, goddammit! ❜

❛ i know there’s at least one person in this world who cares about me. who doesn’t want anything from me. ❜

❛ do you have any idea what that’s like? i never did... not once in my entire life—until now. ❜

❛ and that’s worth more to me than anything else. ❜

❛ go back home! don’t look at me! ❜

❛ i don’t want you seeing me like this! ❜

❛ my hands are dirty with other people's blood. ❜

❛ i don't even know how many people i've killed. ❜

❛ i'm bad news. ❜

❛ i wish i could’ve been like you. ❜

❛ it’s just that… i always picture the worst-case scenario, that’s all. ❜

❛ guess it’s because i’m a coward. ❜

❛ i just can’t relax. it’s turned into a habit. ❜

❛ i was so scared i couldn’t speak, i couldn’t cry, and i screamed in my head, but... nothing came out. ❜

EIJI OKUMURA

❛ if i ever lose you too... i'll go crazy. ❜

❛ come back safely. i'll be waiting for you, forever. ❜

❛ if you feel responsible, the same goes for me. ❜

❛ my words might not mean anything now, but just remember one thing. ❜

❛ even if the world turns on you, i'll always be on your side. ❜

❛ humans can change their destiny. ❜

❛ if i'm going to die anyways, at least i'll die trying! ❜

❛ don't apologize. that's something for people like me to do. ❜

❛ i'd do anything for you. ❜

❛ i know we'll meet again, no matter how far apart we are. ❜

❛ you're the greatest friend i'll ever have. ❜

❛ you're not alone. i'm by your side. my soul is always with you. ❜

❛ you asked me over and over if you scared me. but i never feared you. not once. ❜

❛ i'm really glad i came here. ❜

❛ i met lots of people. and more than anything, i met you. ❜

❛ that’s when i decided. i would always believe in you, no matter what. ❜

❛ no matter what happened, he would always have at least one person... ❜

❛ i am very worried because i haven’t seen you and i don’t know if you are okay. ❜

❛ but so what? we are friends. isn’t that enough? what else do we need? ❜

❛ actually, i always felt that you are hurt, much more than me - that your spirit is wounded. ❜

❛ i know you are much smarter than me, and bigger, and stronger - but even so.. i always wanted to protect you. ❜

❛ but what did i want to protect you from? ❜

❛ i think i wanted to protect you from your future. ❜

❛ because your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood. ❜

❛ but i’m not saying “goodbye” to you... because this isn’t goodbye. ❜

❛ are you going off on your own again? ❜

❛ somewhere far away.. without a word? ❜

❛ i want to see you. i wish i was with you right now. ❜

YUT-LUNG

❛ a bloody history is inevitable when you are the one ruling. ❜

❛ what's wrong? you hated him, right? guess what? so do i. ❜

❛ no need to glare. i won't eat you up. ❜

❛ there's nothing you can do to help. ❜

❛ and what can you do to help? ❜

❛ you really irritate me. ❜

❛ you make people want to protect you or make them want to tear you apart and crush you. ❜

❛ so, what to do with you now. ❜

❛ i heard you tried to escape again. you have some spunk. ❜

❛ we have hired him, his target is your friend. ❜

❛ i have other things for you to do for me. ❜

❛ we still have two more scorpions. ❜

❛ i am a monster, too. ❜

❛ i'm not hearing any good news. ❜

❛ you become all tame when you’re around them. ❜

❛ you’ve degraded from a lone lynx to a content pet cat. ❜

❛ depending on your answer, i may not forgive you. ❜

OTHER CHARACTERS (shorter, max, sing, shunichi, etc.)

❛ his face when he laughed was cute, and childlike, and totally angelic. ❜

❛ it's my problem too! if you go alone, you'll just be killed. ❜

❛ you'll die for nothing! ❜

❛ i won't let you go alone. ❜

❛ i'm sorry, but believe me when i say this: i'll die before i let them lay a finger on you. ❜

❛ i can't anymore. set me free. i'm in so much pain. ❜

❛ we need to stay apart so at least one of us survives ❜

❛ if the former boss gets hit then it's the duty of the new boss to make the drop. ❜

❛ if we don't fight back now, we'll forever be expendable tools. ❜

❛ you asked me to look after them. ❜

❛ yes, honey. ❜

❛ that’s for you to decide for yourself.. ❜

❛ what’s wrong? you can’t punch me from that far back. ❜

❛ this will be the last time i give you a word of advice. ❜

❛ time is an ironic thing. for us, it means to age. but for people like him, it means to grow. ❜

❛ i love all women. they're beautiful and strong. like life itself. ❜

❛ it would only be making another one of us. ❜

❛ one more wretched being, unloved and unloving, whose only sustenance is hatred and nihilism. ❜

❛ don’t fight your memories, cuz you’re never going to win. ❜

❛ i guess home isn’t something you want to remember if you ran away from it. ❜

❛ in one second i knew he could read everything on my mind. ❜

❛ i wondered when this boy had started to watch out for his soul, then i knew how much he had suffered. ❜

❛ you are the most beautiful and the most dangerous, of all the beasts i have ever known. ❜

❛ rather than hate and be triumphant, you chose to love and be destroyed. ❜

❛ i staked my life on that choice. please try to accept it. ❜

❛ one who does not love cannot be loved, either. ❜

❛ you at the very least knows what it is to love. ❜

❛ how can you expect someone who suffered so much to have any respect for authority? ❜

❛ fine line between offender and victim it’s hard to know where to draw it. ❜

❛ there’s something about you that i just can’t hate. ❜

❛ 'cause you’re hurt your soul’s bleeding-even now. ❜

❛ you’re just like me that way. ❜

#rp starters #rp starter meme #s;; banana fish #banana fish rp meme #inbox starters #ask meme #rp ask meme #ask prompt #prompt starters #meme prompt #askbox meme #rp meme #i may have missed some good quotes i'm sorry

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colossalcriminal · 3 years

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Uptown Girl - s.r

Pairing: 40s!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: 25 year old Steve Rogers finds himself infatuated with the well off 18 year old girl who gets Howard Stark coffee.

Warnings: Smoking, alcohol consumption and character death. Not proofread and bad writing.

He'd seen her around plenty, hell, he knew her. Almost always gliding through the streets in the most beautiful designer dresses, sometimes with another girl, arms clad in shopping bags from some of the greatest fashion houses. She also had a knack for wearing trousers that accentuated her legs, always receiving a flustered reaction from the men around her.

It was no doubt she was stunning, perhaps the prettiest girl he'd ever seen in his short 24 years of living. Bucky had always teased him relentlessly, encouraging his best friend to 'snatch her up before someone else does.'

It was a regular occurrence for him to be saved in an alleyway by the sergeant, especially when Steve Rogers didn't know when to back down, or how to. It was only when he showed Steve the newspaper he noticed her figure further down the alley, puffs of smoke leaving her lips.

Steve Rogers found it hard to understand how someone as beautiful as her could commit to an ugly act such as smoking. He was ashamed to admit that the nasty habit hadn't once dwindled his infatuation towards her. "Hey, Y/N!" Bucky called out, gaining her attention. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

Y/N sauntered over to the men with her signature dazzling smile, lips painted in the most ravishing shade of red that'd printed onto the cigarette that rested between her fingers. "Howard's got me off early." She gasped, instantly putting the cigarette out. "Sorry, Steve. I almost forgot I shouldn't light one around you."

Steve's smile reeked with nerves. "It's okay." He stuttered.

"So, he's Howard now?" Bucky nudged her.

She rolled her eyes, resting a hand on her hip. "Put a cap on it, Barnes. Anyways, where are you boys off to?"

"Your boss' expo." He displayed the paper to her, pointing to the large ad.

With a small nod, her attention was back on the skinny boy. "Picking me up, Steve?"

Waking up from his day dream, finally in the headspace to speak to the magnificent woman before him, his nod was quick. "Huh? Oh, yes. Definitely."

"I'll see you later tonight at 6pm sharp, then. Bye." She grinned at the blonde, waving as she proceeded to walk away.

"Bye, Y/N." His reply was too quiet to hear as she was too far away, but the butterflies in his stomach didn't care for that. Sighing at Bucky's light chuckles, he shook his head, mentally scolding himself for the awkward interaction.

"At least you got a date."

"Yeah," He whispered to himself, almost impressed. "at least I got a date."

6:01pm his watch read as he stood before the house - mansion - nervous creeping up the back of his spine, the large house looming over him as if he were in a nightmare.

And it was the exact time she popped her head out of her bedroom window signaling to Steve. "Just wait a minute! Dad's home, so I have to escape!" She whisper-yelled.

He'd gotten a glance of her frock. His heart pounding at the view of her hair curled into perfect ringlets, makeup even more accentuating than it was earlier that day. He watched her disappear, before quietly slipping through the front door and making her way to him. "Sorry, he doesn't like me being out in the evening."

"Well, I can understand with a beautiful dame like you, sorry woman, not dame. Young woman."

Y/N giggled at his ramble. "You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?" Steve smiled bashfully at her lightheartedness. "It's alright, not like I'm anyone important."

He cocked his head inquisitively. "And what do you mean by that?"

Sighing, she looped her arm through his, an action that sent his vision loopy as he inwardly cheered. "I mean, I'm just a girl with big dreams who spends daddy's money and gets coffee for Howard Stark. Nothing big."

Steve maintained his unfazed exterior, resisting the urge to stare down at their linked arms. "Tell me about these big dreams."

"I want to be a scientist, well, more of a techy one like Howard is. The idea of flying cars within a few years is so, invigorating!" She beamed. "Don't you think?"

He smiled at her, nodding. "Well, I hope you'll be around to fly our first car, considering you're so insistent on enlisting."

"Bucky thinks I can't do it, that's why they keep rejecting me."

Y/N hummed, lips curling into a small pout. "I think you could do it," He perked up at this. "you could. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should, Steve."

Before he could respond, they'd already been greeted and called over from afar by Bucky.

Y/N didn't let herself feel too downhearted when Stark's flying car show failed, but she did find herself frowning when she followed Steve to the recruitment booth.

She pulled him towards her, Bucky not far off. "Come on, soldier." She joked. "Take me dancing."

"You go ahead, I'll catch up."

Guilt had presented itself to Steve on a silver platter when he saw her shoulders drop. "You're really going to do this again?" Bucky deadpanned, unimpressed.

"I'll leave you guys to talk it out. Meet me there?" The blonde nodded, missing her small wave as she departed.

An hour and 49 minutes later she found herself walking home alone, rubbing her arms in an attempt to abandon any feeling of cold, or even worse, loneliness.

It was 2 days later when Steve finally caught her leaving her office, cigarette in hand. He couldn't help it when he gazed at the pearl earrings she wore, framing her face so perfectly, accompanied by the stray hairs that'd escaped her updo.

"Y/N!"

His voice had only expanded her annoyance as she watched the smoke exit her mouth, ignoring his calls. "Go away, Rogers."

He panted, finally catching up to her. "I'm sorry, I really am."

"What for? The fact that you ditched me on our date or that you went radio silent for 2 days?"

He pursed his lips, closing his eyes in regret. "Please, let me take you out again before I start training?"

Y/N let out a dry chuckle. "Congrats." She put out her cigarette, still mindful of the blond's asthma. "That's not the point, Steve. I wanted to go out with you because I like you! Because you're different! But it turns out I was wrong. So, good luck in training, I'm sure you'll do great. If you're alive by the end of the war, come find me."

"Please, Y/N. I really, really like you."

She'd already began walking away. "You should've thought about that before you asked to get yourself killed."

Without much thought, Steve reached forward, wrapping his fingers around her wrist as soft as possible, the surprise on her face echoed onto his own. "And what if I don't die?"

Scoffing, she shook her head. "You sound so certain."

"Because I am."

"I will not wait for you to come home and receive a letter explaining your death instead."

"Deal."

With a peculiar brow, Y/N sighed. "Where are we going then, Mr. Rogers?"

His lips spread into a beautiful grin. "Anywhere you want, Ms. L/N."

They'd spent 3 full days together before Steve began training.

The first day was spent at and around the theatre, watching as many movies as possible and eating as much popcorn as one can.

The second day, he made it up to her by taking her dancing. Y/N took the time to teach him how to waltz, giggling every time he stepped on her shoes.

The third day was spent at his home, alone. Away from the crowded atmosphere of her house, she taught him how to cook the simplest of dishes, making sure he knew how to feed himself incase no one else did.

It was hard for her not to get teary eyed as Y/N layed her hands on his cheeks, cupping his face daintily. Steve leaned into the soft touch, corners of his mouth tugging downwards. "So, I guess this is goodbye."

"Yeah, it is." He whispered, eyes staring into hers with utmost intensity, a false reality in his head tricking him into believing he wouldn't have to leave her if their eyes never broke contact.

"You better make it back to me, Rogers."

"Of course I will, Y/N."

The grief had already sunk in her, the feeling in her belly so overwhelming, heart fluttering violently as she pulled him to her, lips touching so softly. Steve didn't freeze like he thought he would- he didn't have time to freeze. He did his best, pulling her closer and kissing him back with the most confidence he could muster.

Y/N's smile was almost minuscule when they pulled away, hands moving down to grip onto his uniform, her head in a lovesick daze. "How could I not make it back to you?"

"Well, I am your best girl."

He quirked an eyebrow. "My only girl."

"We'll see about that when you come home a war hero. All the ladies would drop down to your feet."

"All the women in the world and I'd still choose you."

Returning home, she closed the front door quietly, making her way to the living room to find her father engrossed in the small tv box. "Hi." She spoke quietly, hoping not to disturb him as she kissed his cheek, hoping to walk away.

"Sit." Y/N's father offered her the seat next to him, never taking his eyes off the program as she sunk into the sofa, her frock filling out around her. "Lowell's been talking a lot."

She stiffened slightly, subconsciously crossing her legs and straightening her shoulders. "Oh, you know not to listen to Lowell. All he does is gossip. Him and his wife, vultures they are."

"He tells me you've been spending a lot of time with Sarah's boy, Steve."

"Yes, I have. He just recently went off to train."

He finally looked at her. "You scared?"

"A little."

"Then it's a mistake."

Y/N's face was blank as she fiddled with her fingernails and stared off into the distance. "I know."

Her father shook his head. "Then you'll know to break it off."

"No, I won't." He looked perplexed at her reply. "Because it may be a mistake now, he may die any day, but at least I'd gotten the chance to be with him."

He only huffed, muttering something along the lines of "Childish."

She decided to change the subject, not wanting the conversation to sour even more. "Where's Eliza?"

"She's out."

"What are we watching?"

"The Mark of Zorro."

"Can we watch something else? Sullivan's Travels is on."

"No."

"I'll be in my room then."

"Fine."

She stood, getting one last glimpse of her father. "You know daddy, I do love him. And who knows? Maybe he'll survive. Maybe we'll get married and live a happily ever after. If that does happen, I hope you'll be happy for me."

She knew they were selecting the 'lucky' one to be titled 'super soldier.' She'd been working alongside Howard, the older man curious of her expertise for an 18 year old but nonetheless grateful for her help.

Y/N certainly didn't expect Steve to walk through the doors of the laboratory, accompanied by Peggy Carter. "Jesus Christ, Steve." She gasped, embracing him.

He wrapped his arms around her, concern growing when the smallest patch of tears had formed on his t-shirt. He watched as she pulled away. "Hi." Steve greeted.

"Oh, hi." She chuckled through tears. "I'm sorry, go talk to Erskine and we'll chat later." His hands lingered on her, before he slowly nodded, doing as told.

Minutes later, her fear only grew as he layed down in what she called the pod. "Comfortable?" She queried.

"It's a little big." He commented. Y/N graced him with her smile, a real, but concerned smile. "Maybe we could get dinner later?"

"Alright, loverboy. One thing at a time." She teased. "Howard, what are our levels?"

"Levels at 100%."

"I have to say something," He almost begged. "I think I'm in love with you."

Chuckling, she held his face in her hands. "I think I'm in love with you, too, Steve." Blowing him a kiss, she waved her love goodbye before leaving to stand beside Howard. "We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready as we'll ever be."

She just barely missed Steve's terrified, longing glance that had remained on her back as she worked diligently, how the cold metal around him sent shivers down his spine, aching for the warmth of her touch.

Erskine began his speech into the microphone. "but we are ready as we'll ever be. today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace. We begin with a series of microinjections into the subject's major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change. And then, to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays. Serum infusion beginning in five, four, three, two, one."

Hesitating the slightest bit, Y/N pulled the lever, eyes tearing at Steve's small grunts as each small vial emptied itself. Howard pulled his own lever, elevating the pod into a standing form, closing the blonde in. "Steven? Can you hear me?"

"It's probably too late to go to the bathroom now, right?"

She couldn't help but smile at his witty answer. "We will proceed."

"10%."

"20%."

"30."

"That's 40%."

"Vital signs are normal."

"That's 50%."

"60."

"70."

The beam emitting from the pod became too bright for the eye, the sound of Steve's groans had morphed into pained screams, shattering Y/N's heart with every yell. "Shut it down! Kill the reactor, Howard!"

"No!" He protested. "Don't! I can do this!"

Howard looked at her with a sense of sympathy. "Eighty."

"Ninety."

"That's 100%."

Sparks had erupted throughout the machinery, surges of light blinding them until it had died down, everything and everyone dead silent. Within seconds, the pod had opened, revealing a brand new Steve Rogers.

Y/N cried in relief, instantly running to tend to him, helping him out of the device. "You did it, sweetheart."

"I did it."

"Yes, you did. How do you feel?"

He panted, surveying his surroundings before looking down at her. "Taller."

She barely took a minute to lock her gaze onto the newly formed muscles on his body.

With a giggle, she handed him a shirt. "You look taller." He grinned, using his newfound strength to pick her up, a loud squeal leaving her painted lips.

A loud explosion went off, the glass pane that guarded the viewing room had shattered onto the people congratulating Erskine below. Erskine had fallen to the ground after multiple gunshots, Steve making his way to the scientist while Y/N had continued shooting at the perpetrator as he escaped, soon running after him.

Running out onto the street, she caught her breath, deathly stare on the car that had her target. She shot once, no luck. Once again, the vehicle had swerved, colliding with a parked car nearby.

Kruger had gotten into a different car, accelerating at full speed towards the young woman, challenging her as she raised her gun once again.

No impact or gunshot ever occurred as Steve had pulled her out of the way, leaving her on the sidewalk. "I had him!"

"Sorry!" He ran, leaving her to pursue Kruger himself.

After Y/N had helped Steve save the men of the 107th, the pair had received a few weeks of reprieve in the beautiful city of London.

Steve admired her as she applied the black pigment onto her eyes with utmost accuracy, the trousers and blouse she wore complimenting her in such marvelous ways he couldn't comprehend. He got up from where he stood, taking long strides towards her, placing a hand on her waist and smiling when his reflection came into view on her vanity mirror. "Hi."

"Hello." She giggled, leaning into him. "Enjoying the view?"

He nodded, swiftly turning her to face him. His grin had dropped into a sly smile as he let go of her, ignoring her inquisitive looks as he dropped down, one knee hitting the carpeted floor. Pulling out a small box, she gasped instantly. "The ring isn't expensive, or lavish." He started, displaying the solitaire diamond ring.

"Oh my god, Steve."

"I love you, Y/N. I want to grow old with you, and share my life with you. I want to have a future with you, and I want it to start now. Right here in this obnoxiously rainy place," They both laughed. "will you marry me?"

Y/N let out a breathy laugh, nodding with clouded eyes filled with tears. "Oh, of course I'll marry you, Steve." She pulled him up, smushing his face against her own into a kiss, the pair of them smiling into it. "I wouldn't want anything else."

Steve wasn't lying when he said he wanted to start now, within 5 days he stood at the end of a chapel with Bucky by his side as best man and Y/N in a pearly white frock and a makeshift veil bought at the nearest corner shop.

It didn't matter that the dress was picked out last minute, or that the veil was advertised to be a gag gift. Nothing could rival the grins on the couples' faces when they said "I do." rings slipping onto their fingers and lips joining in a moment of utter bliss.

It was later that night when Y/N crawled out of bed, slipping on Steve's blazer to shield her bare body from the cold air seeping into the bedroom through the open window. Sitting at the desk, pen in hand, she sucked in a deep breath.

Dear daddy,

We're in London now. Steve managed to save the men of the 107th, I'm sure you've seen the posters all around. He's America's beacon of hope.

I hope Eliza and ma are good. I hope you're good.

I'm writing to let you know that Steve and I got married today. It was fast, we just got engaged last week, but nothing has ever felt more right. Writing this letter, the ring sparkling in the moonlight, it's perfect. I don't regret anything.

Steve has assembled his team, they called themselves the Howling Commandos and I couldn't be more proud. He promises that once they get all of HYDRA's bases, the war will be over and everything will hopefully go back to normal.

I got my happy end, daddy. I know it's not the end, it's just the beginning of a perfect life. A perfect life with my perfect husband, and hopefully my perfect family. I hope you're happy for me.

With all my love,

Y/N Rogers.

"What are you writing, Mrs. Rogers?" Steve queried, sat upright in bed.

Y/N smirked before climbing back into bed, ridding herself of the severely oversized blazer. "Nothing, Mr. Rogers."

The pair broke out into a fit of laughter as he pulled her close, hand trailing up and down her back, dangerously close to the soft skin of her backside.

2 years later, a year after the well grieved death of Bucky Barnes, Y/N had turned 20 and the couple had decided it was time to add to their family now that some light was finally at the end of the tunnel after a long 6 years of war.

Tangled in a mess of sheets, limbs intertwined, Y/N rested her head on her lover's heartbeat. "Do you think we made a baby?" She asked timidly.

"Maybe." She let out a faint giggle, eliciting a look of confusion from the super soldier. "What is it?"

"Do you think the baby will be super duper strong? A mini Steve who can lift an entire car up as a little boy?"

Steve chuckled, snuggling her closer. "Or a little girl, just as strong as you. Either way, they'd be beautiful."

She hummed, a hand on his cheek. "With my eyes and your beautiful blond hair, I'd think so."

It was that same day Y/N would find herself supervising one of Steve's missions from base. "Come in, this is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?"

She instantly rushed over to the microphone. "Steve? Is that you? Are you okay?"

"Y/N! Schmidt's dead!"

"What about the plane?"

"That's a little bit tougher to explain."

She huffed. "Give me your coordinates, I'll find you a safe landing site."

"There's not going to be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down."

"I'll get Howard on, he'll know what to do."

"There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York. I got to put her in the water."

Y/N's stomach dropped, her heart threatening to leap out of her chest as she anxiously twisted her wedding and engagement rings. "Please don't do this. We have time, we can work this out." She begged, eyes brimming with tears.

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are going to die, sweetheart. This is my choice, Y/N." She didn't say anything, her head dropping onto the palm of her hands. "Y/N, honey?"

"I'm here."

"We might have to reschedule that doctor's appointment."

Taking in a shaky breath, she wiped the tears of her cheeks with haste, as if Steve could see her. "Alright. I'll book it for Monday."

"You got it."

"10am, on the dot. We can't be late, it's our baby. If there is one in there."

"I want you to know, I love you, Y/N. No matter what. You'll always be my best girl. My only girl."

"I love you too, Steve."

"I was thinking about names. I want to name it after your dad if it's a boy."

She choked a sob, nodding. "Yeah, yeah. I don't mind."

"And if it's a girl-"

"Steve?" Nothing. Not a single breath. She collapsed onto the desk in a mess of tears and loud cries, not caring for Colonel Phillips who stood behind her, a look of pity set on her back.

2011 was a long way away from 1945, Steve thought.

It'd taken him too long to come to terms with the fact that his wife was most likely dead, but when Nick Fury had presented him a box of her belongings, he couldn't help but shed a tear as he sat on the floor of his apartment going through it.

He'd found the necklace he gifted her on their first wedding anniversary, an accessory he now wore himself under his clothing, slipping her wedding and engagement ring onto the chain before putting it on. He grasped it close to his heart, a melancholy sigh leaving his lips.

His eyes narrowed when he came across an unfamiliar book, flipping it open.

Dear Steve,

The war is finally over as of 2 days ago, Japan formally surrendered. I wish you were able to celebrate the victory you worked so hard for.

You missed our doctor's appointment today. You'll be sleeping on the couch tonight after I reminded you to be there at 10am, no later.

I'm pregnant, Steve. What we've been waiting so long for has finally happened and you're not here to see it. I've decided to work with Howard once the baby is here, he'll give me flexible hours and good pay. Enough to keep us going and Peggy's good company.

I'm alone now, now Bucky to help me out, no you. I think I'll keep the house. It would be nice for the baby to grow up in the house we bought together.

I don't know why I've started writing in this stupid thing.

With all my love,

Y/N.

The super soldier let out a strained sob at the confirmation. She was pregnant, and he wasn't there.

He'd missed the entirety of his child's life, and the rest of hers.

The next few pages were short blurbs of her outings with Peggy and Howard, grocery lists and so on.

Dear Steve,

The baby is getting big, I've got a little bump now. Only 24 weeks to go.

Everyone is really excited, maybe more than I am. It's all over the papers "Wife of Captain America pregnant with America's Next Hope."

In truth, I don't want our child to be America's Next Hope.

I just want them to be happy and healthy, and to stay with me forever.

Howard's started building the crib, I told him not to make it too technical. He's putting all kinds of soothers and all everywhere, but it's still nice of him to do so. Peggy took me to London for Christmas and New Year's, we had a nice time and she bought me this beautiful dress. You would've loved it.

I miss you, Steve.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year, my love.

Forever yours,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

It's getting warmer, and April has never felt hotter. Howard and Peggy keep saying it's just me and my big belly. Well, what else would I expect at 7 months pregnant?

Sometimes I feel you around. I'll feel you sitting at the kitchen counter, reading the paper. Or your hand on my belly in the morning. You're all over the house and somehow it's breaking and mending my heart at the same time.

These daily entries are getting a bit boring now, aren't they?

I hope you read these in a different lifetime, maybe.

Your only girl,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

Josephine Sarah Stephanie Rogers was born on the 6th of June, 1946.

I named her after your dad, Joe.

I know we never talked about girl names, but I looked at her and I couldn't resist. I just know our little girl is going to change the world, just like your father tried to.

She's a carbon copy of you. Your gorgeous blue eyes, bright blonde hair. She's absolutely perfect, Steve.

And I just know that if you'd met her, she'd have you wrapped around her finger.

But she's all ours, baby. Our little angel, and I couldn't thank you enough for giving me such a stunning gift. Thank you for making me a mother, Steve, it's the best thing I could've ever received from you.

We love you to the moon and back,

Y/N and Josephine.

Steve held his hand to his mouth. He was a father, a father to what would now be a 65 year old woman. A woman who'd already lived most her life, achieved a majority of her milestones, all without him.

Dear Steve,

Happy birthday, my love.

Josephine and I made a cake for you. Today you would have turned 28 years old.

Colonel Phillips visited me today. It was brief, really. He played with Josephine and wished us well.

As I write this ridiculous entry, the wedding rings on my finger feel so heavy, unlike ever before. My heart constantly aches for you, but I will wait. I will wait until it is my time, and I hope you'll be waiting for me at the gates of heaven.

Your ever most loving wife,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

It's been one year since you've been gone.

I miss you, more than anything in the world.

I'll see you soon, but not too soon.

Dear Steve,

Josephine turned 1 today.

Howard and Peggy threw a party, and you know how Howard's parties are. This one was child friendly, though. He brought a circus and entertained Josephine and all of her little friends from daycare.

Daddy dropped by. He loves Josephine, and he spent most of the day telling her all about you.

She said her first word today. Guess what it was!

Dada. She said your name, Steve. And she'll never forget it.

Wait for me,

Y/N.

Steve only brushed his tears away, flipping through every entry over the next few years.

Dear Steve,

Jo turned 16 today.

It's so odd to think that just 16 years ago I was only 20, trying my best to bring her into the world. We made such a beautiful young woman, Steve, and she's exactly like you. She has a hard shell but she's a big softie on the inside.

I've never been so grateful for a human being. She takes care of me, always telling me the best things to use and the best things to buy instead of it being the other way around. She's my protector, my guardian angel. In that way, she took your place.

Peggy helped me throw a big birthday party for her, she deserves it. She's worked so hard in and out of school. All of her friends came, they danced and ate. We got a massive cake to go with it.

Everyday she hugs your picture and thanks you, and today was no different.

I hope you're looking down on us with a smile, sweetheart.

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

Jo turned 18 a few days ago. I couldn't write because I took her to Paris for her birthday.

I'd been planning the trip for a long time, saving up as much as I could. She loved it! She also told me she got into Juilliard, which is a performing arts school in New York. It's far, farther away than she's ever been from me, but it's only an hour drive. She promises to come home every weekend.

I don't have to worry about paying for it anymore after Howard, Phillips, Peggy and I founded SHIELD. It's protection for the world, saving lives, just like you did.

I have to go, Jo's asking me to help her pack.

I love you,

Y/N.

He read through the brief entries of Y/N's time at SHIELD, before stopping at a picture. Juilliard, class of 1969.

She was right. Jo had inherited all of Steve's looks, from the blonde hair and blue eyes to the kind smile she graced the camera with.

Steve finally got to the end of the journal. Recovering after reading through her daughter's longtime boyfriend turned husband, the births of their grandchildren, the death of Howard Stark and more.

Dear Steve,

I like to think I lived a good 76 years of life. I lived to see the year 2001.

I got an education, got myself a job despite spending my father's money because I was young and stupid. I met you, the skinny boy who told me to follow my dreams of being a scientist. I fell in love with you, and the new you that emerged after the serum.

My love for you is eternal, which has been proven in the 55 years I've spent without you.

I lived to see my only child succeed, I lived to walk her down the aisle. I lived to see my beautiful grandchildren.

I've lived more than enough, and I think it's finally time to come home to you, honey.

I'll see you soon.

Y/N.

Steve brought his left hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss to the wedding band that rested on his finger.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Steve smirked, carrying the briefcase containing the six infinity stones.

Bucky gave him a sad smile. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." They shared a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, buddy. Tell her I said hi."

"Yeah, Buck. It's gonna be alright."

"How long is this going to take?" Sam questioned as the super soldier stepped onto the heavy machinery.

"For him, as long is he needs. For us, 5 seconds. Ready Cap?"

"I'll be back."

Y/N paced around, lip caught between her teeth. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She stopped abruptly, turning to face the new voice.

Sighing a breath of relief, she leaped into his arms. "Steve! You're back."

"Yeah, honey. I'm back."

#Steve rogers x reader #Steve rogers imagine #Steve rogers #avengers #Steve rogers x y/n #Steve rogers x you #captain america #Captain America x reader #Captain America x y/n #Captain America x you #Steve rogers fanfic #Steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfic #Captain America fanfiction #marvel

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goggles-mcgee · 3 years

Text

Too Late: Gabriel Agreste (commission for miner249er)

Third chapter of @miner249er ‘s commission

Chapter Summary: Gabriel’s thoughts and time at the hospital

Previous Work

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The sterile smell of the air, the beeps of machines and muted conversations were Gabriel Agreste’s new normal and it absolutely killed him. Every move of his body was pain, even blinking seemed to bring him some amount of it, no matter how small. He could hear the TV in his hospital room, he cast it the briefest glance and grimaced when he saw it was the TVi News with Nadja Chamack. At first he paid it no mind but when he heard his name he became more alert. With his good arm he patted around for the remote until he finally felt it and quickly turned up the volume. There was no holding back his growl when he saw Alec Cataldi speaking about the “rumor” of him and Nathalie being Paris’s local villains. His hand twitched with the need to find his phone and call up his lawyers but even he knew how it would look.

Suing Alec Cataldi and TVi Studios off of a rumor? Yeah that would just make things worse. His lawyers had already done so much with making sure that that’s all that stuck was rumors. No one could prove him and Nathalie were Hawkmoth and Mayura but there were so many goddamn “coincidences” that made sure that the rumors would not go away anytime soon. They would haunt him for as long as he lived and that was his fault. He thought akumatizing Marinette Dupain-Cheng was the best thing he had accomplished. In some ways it was, because he just so happened to akumatize Ladybug. He thought he had everything in the bag. Victory had been so close, he could practically taste it on his tongue.

Then she strayed. At first he didn’t notice, it was like every other akuma, she wanted revenge. She said so. So, being a generous person, he allowed her to go after her craved revenge before he asked for the Ladybug and Cat Miraculi. Gabriel never imagined her revenge included him and Nathalie, he had never felt any resentment towards him when they first linked, but then it was like she could shut him out of her mind. Out of her thoughts. Some part of him knew it had to do with all his missing butterflies, but a bigger part was screaming about how close he was to getting what he wanted. They were well and truly blindsided.

The Protector has come in so fast it was almost inhuman, which maybe he should have expected seeing as when he akumatized people he enhanced their abilities while also giving them some kind of power. None of his alarms went off. Nothing suggested danger. Even when Nathalie had gone to check the security cameras and check news coverage to track his akuma, she hadn’t noticed. He certainly couldn’t blame her for what transpired. No, that felt like the universe telling him it was done putting up with his bullshit. Nooroo had always told him that abusing the Miraculous the way he did would come back to him, distantly he would worry about what it meant, he hadn’t expected it to happen so fast.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was to be his masterpiece. He had always sensed her emotions, her anger, her sadness, they were always so strong and held so much potential. Yet, every time he had sent out an akuma for her, her emotions vanished so he would have to find a new target. It had been so infuriating each and every time, and then a miracle happened. Her emotions seemed to be too big to control this time, of course he knew it most likely had to do with Mlle Rossi since she was doing her damndest to convince him she was a negative influence on his son. Of course he pretended to believe every lie she spouted about the girl, there was no ounce of guilt, he just looked forward to the future akuma.

He regretted it. He regretted it so much. Gabriel frowned when he felt a tear fall, he hated feeling weak, always had. Thankfully no one was in the room to witness the rare moment of weakness. He had only cried in front of one person and that had been Emilie, but even she was guarded when she spoke to him now. Not that he didn’t understand her anger at him and Nathalie, but he wished she would forgive him and just be there for him. He needed his wife. Currently though, she was still mad and disappointed at him. He tried to explain that he did everything for her and their family so they could be happy again, but it had ultimately fallen short.

She hadn’t wanted his “excuses,” and really he could understand, or try to. When she awoke it wasn’t to a welcoming she may have expected if she had ever expected one from the beginning, Emilie came back to police tape all over their house and reporters stalking the front for a story like vultures. They pounced and the rumors grew. His missing wife just so happened to stumble out of their house after he and Nathalie were rushed to the hospital. Of course Emilie heard the rumors, when she felt like talking to him she had come and demanded answers and really, there was no way he could lie to her and he hadn’t ever planned to. Gabriel had just never expected to have to tell his wife he had maybe terrorized Paris and fought against a child, maybe two, one of which was quite possibly their own child.

He thought she would leave him, it terrified him, haunted his every waking moment. That thought hurt worse than everything the Protector did to him in the name of justice. Gabriel didn’t want to think anymore so he decided to just tune into the news once more and hope they were past speaking about him. “We have a video of The Protector going into the Agreste Mansion and after a period of time, leaving. Now we don’t know what happened inside but hours later we had you and your team there at the mansion along with other news stations when M Agreste and his assistant Mlle Nathalie Sancoeur were brought out of the mansion on stretchers. Then not long after, in your words,’ a dazed Mme Agreste was spotted coming out of the house.’ That was after the police search!”

Guess he hoped for too much. He groaned and looked away from the screen and resolved to just stare at his heart monitor. He blamed his private nurses for putting the TV on the news because he had no recollection of changing the channel to the news before he had been given his daily dose of morphine and had taken his small nap. Some small part of him told him they did it on purpose, that they knew what Nadja and Alec were going to be reporting on and put the show on purely to annoy and torture him. Even if his team of lawyers made sure no charges could stick to him or Nathalie, the stink of the allegations and rumors lingered.

He could see it in the way other nurses would speed walk past his room. Could see it in the way his bodyguards would flinch when he would speak to them or ask them to do something when they weren’t guarding his door. It was behind the smiles his doctor would give him during his vitals checks. It was carried in the air of the whispers of those who passed and hoped he didn’t hear them speaking. Some didn’t care if he heard and would loudly speak of his villain side full of contempt and poorly held anger. He saw it in the way the hospital wing counselor, yes each wing had a counselor apparently, would leave a pamphlet about their group therapy. Not just any group therapy, akuma victims, whether it be turned into akumas or directly targeted by akumas, you were encouraged to join. Since he and Nathalie were “for some odd reason” targeted by the Protector even when they said it was a random attack not done by the akuma, they were heavily encouraged to join in. Even if it meant they had to be wheeled in on wheelchairs.

Gabriel did not need that. He absolutely did not. There was no way he was going to sit in a room full of people he had akumatized and listen to how he ruined their lives. He had an imagination, he had a pretty good idea how royally he screwed up. Though he hadn’t known it at first, he hadn’t even thought of it when Nathalie and him were on their way to the hospital. Pain wasn’t on his mind, no, it was anger. He had been furious that his plan had backfired so spectacularly, and he immediately started planning on revenge. There was no realization, there was no sympathy, not until he heard the news. When the police had been investigating his house for any signs of the “intruder” Emilie had stumbled out from the “basement.”

It was then and only then that Gabriel realized what he had done. Everything he had done, terrorizing-because really, that is what he did-Paris, made everyone live in a constant state of emotional staleness that was now exploding in uncontrolled fits of tears and yelling, and what for? Absolutely nothing. Emilie hadn’t needed him to go on some crazed vengeful mission like he had believed. There was no need for him to don the Butterfly Brooch and be the “madman” everyone knew as Hawkmoth. The name they still whispered about whether consciously or subconsciously when having a breakdown or feeling even the slightest bit upset. There was no need for him to involve Nathalie and make her wear the very same damaged Miraculous that he believed had taken his wife from him. Yet he did. His assistant, no, his dear friend was paying that price now because of him.

Nathalie. He hadn’t even seen her since their admittance into the hospital. Of course he asked how she was doing but doctors were vague and nurses were worse because they would change the subject or stay quiet and you knew. You knew the person you asked about wasn’t doing as well as you had hoped. Distantly he knew what he was doing to everyone in Paris, he somewhat acknowledged the damage he had done but nothing prepared him for the guilt that ate at him for what had happened to Nathalie. It would seem as though Emilie held some ill will towards him because of it as well. When she came and he asked how she was doing, his wife would only respond with, “How do you think Gabriel?” and nothing else. Gabriel desperately wanted to know but it was like everyone in the hospital made some odd pact to never inform him and it was driving him mad. He had just wanted his wife back. His old life back.

Now he had a wife back who, while still staying with him was determined to show him how wrong he had been. Gabriel didn’t know what part of everything she was more mad at (maybe it was the emotionally distancing himself from their only child and leaving said child to fend for himself in a social world that he knew nothing about) but he would do anything to make her happy. Though she was not letting him in, she was there physically but she had closed herself off emotionally at the moment and really, could Gabriel blame her? No but that didn’t make the heartache hurt any less when she wouldn’t smile at him, when she would only come for an hour or two at most instead of the full visiting hours like she once did when he had been in a car crash when they first married. She had visited everyday and had snuck in his favorite snacks because she knew he hated the hospital food.

When she visited she brought him pastries from Tom & Sabine’s and every time it was like more salt added to his wounds. Like she was doing it on purpose to punish him in her own little ways. Emilie would still sit by his side and hold his hand, but her smile was fake, it was fake coming in and it was fake leaving, and the hand around his heart would grip harder the more he saw it. She would of course be visiting today and though Gabriel always loved to see her, he didn’t know if he could handle her emotionless smiles. Not when his pain was throbbing both physically and emotionally. Usually he could ignore the looks, the whispers, and just about everything else, but today he felt unnaturally raw.

“Oh you’re awake. Good afternoon.” That was Emilie’s voice.

Gabriel turned and saw her standing in the doorway. “Hello Love.” He winced at how hoarse his voice sounded.

Immediately Emilie went to his side table and poured him a cup of water which he gratefully took. “You always seem so surprised when I come. I come everyday Gabriel.”

“Well...It’s just you don’t seem like you want to be here is all. Not that I can blame you but…”

Quiet. He hated when she was quiet. Then she sighed. “It’s not that I don’t Gabriel. I’m just...I’m just so mad. I’m mad that you’re hurt, but I know it’s your fault that you’re hurt in the first place. I’m mad that it’s your fault! I’m mad that you left our son emotionally. I’m mad you got Nathalie involved! But I don’t want to be mad Gabriel. It feels bad to be mad right now because I know you’re in pain. But I also know you. And I know you’re not completely sorry about what you’ve done.”

“Emilie! I am sorry, I really am!” He cried.

“I need more convincing than you just saying it. I’ve been thinking about it and I want you to go to that akuma therapy they have here. Then...and only then do I think we can begin to heal.” She said with such finality that Gabriel had to swallow. It was absolutely the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew Emilie wouldn’t budge, all he could do was nod.

“Thank you,” she murmured, “I know it won’t be easy, but I think this will be good for you, for us.”

“You might be the only one who thinks so.”

“Adrien thinks so too.”

“You’ve spoken to him?” Gabriel asked, and maybe it was a bit desperate but his son hadn’t visited him once.

“Yes. He’s not ready to see you yet…” Emilie admitted as she looked down at her hands. “He barely started visiting Nathalie.”

He had visited Nathalie!? But not him. Not his father. No he couldn’t be mad at him, not after everything he put his son through, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt. That didn’t mean he wasn’t blinking back tears. His own son didn’t want to see him. God, what did that say about him? About everything? Nothing good if he put thought into it so he resolved to do the opposite and just avoid the thoughts until they took him by surprise. If he thought Emilie’s anger was bad, he could only imagine Adrien’s, he had never seen his son mad. He had never allowed him the pleasure of emotions before, and seeing how everyone’s little emotions resulted in meltdowns, he feared what his son’s repressed emotions would look like.

And really Adrien had a lot to be angry about. Number 1 being that he was Chat Noir, part of Paris’s dynamic superhero duo, and his father was Hawkmoth the villain he was fighting and had to stop. Yeah, there was much to be mad about. “How is he?” He settled on asking.

“I’m not going to lie to you Gabriel, he’s not okay. Our baby is hurting,” the because of you was implied but unsaid, “his friend is still missing, his friends are all having mental episodes over some Lila girl and everything that has gone down, and he is still having to deal with the fact that people talk. Plus I mean it’s not everyday you find out your dad is a supervillain, one you were supposedly fighting.”

He couldn’t hold back the wince. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”

“Honestly? I don’t know Honey,” even though his heart sang at the term of endearment it also broke a bit, “I want to say yes, but I just don’t know.”

“We’ll just have to see I suppose. You should go check on Nathalie, Dear. I am feeling tired,” it was a lie, or was it? He was exhausted but whether that be because of his body being in pain or because his emotions were everywhere was anyone’s guess. “I’ll see you tomorrow though yes?”

“Yes. Yes of course. I’ll bring some Eiffel Apple Bon Bons, I know you probably haven’t had any in a while.” She still remembered his favorite candies.

“That would be lovely, thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too Gabriel. We’ll...We’ll get through this.” Will we? He watched as she walked out and even after that just stared at the door. He was really going to go to that akuma therapy...for the first time in a long time, Gabriel was scared. Scared if everyone would whisper or would they make the animosity toward him known? But the thing he was the most terrified of? He was terrified of what he would hear there in the group therapy. He didn’t know if he would be strong enough to listen.

The TV ripped him from his thoughts and he almost gave it thanks. “I don’t think I have to remind everyone just what Hawkmoth has done to this great city, to its people. From babies to the elderly, from the smallest of things to the most emotional moments of our lives, they have all been prey to him. One has to wonder if he had a heart at all. And if he did, I have to ask, was it worth it? Was it worth it Hawkmoth? This has been Alec Cataldi.”

“And Nadja Chamack.”

“And we are signing off, see you next time Paris.” The two hosts said in unison.

Almost.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #ml salt #gabriel agreste #emilie agreste #nathalie sancoeur #nadja chamack #alec cataldi #gabriel agreste salt #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #angsty thoughts for Gabriel #revolt of the akuma #goggles commission #gabriel has to face consequences like an adult #and he no likey

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benedictscanvas · 4 years

Text

a shared heart - spencer reid x reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: None! Just fluff

Request: Let me just say—you’re one of my fav new writers. The subtlety in your fluff is just so real and genuine. Not over the top, but still so heart-warming and believable. Can I please request “you can have half” with reader and Spencer Reid?

A/N: Let me just say - thank you so much! This comment really meant a lot to me. I hope I managed to do this justice, even though I had to switch up the prompt a bit. This one was so fun to write, and I’m definitely tempted to write a part two, so let me know if you’d be interested! :)

---

(ways to say i love you) number 11 = “you can have half”

Spencer walked briskly out of the elevator and onto the floor of the BAU, the paper bag in his hand rustling with each step. When he reached his desk, he greeted his colleagues with a small smile and a nod, setting his satchel on the floor next to his chair and sitting down with a little content sigh.

He glanced around. It was still a little early. Hotch was in his office already, obviously, but other than that it seemed like only Derek and Emily had arrived so far. The two worst people to be in. He wished it was Rossi, or even JJ, because he knew as soon as he placed his paper bag on the desk, they’d be circling him like the vultures they were.

He gingerly placed the bag on the wood, trying to rustle it as little as possible. Before he could blink, there were two eager bodies looming over him at his desk. He sighed, a lot less content.

“Morning,” he said, looking up at them briefly but averting his gaze as soon as he did because he knew exactly how this interaction was about to go down. Derek leaned forward over the desk with his palms splayed out in front of him.

“Is that what I think it is, Reid?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he murmured, reaching into the bag as nonchalantly as he could and pulling out a muffin. He turned the bag on its side and placed the muffin down on it delicately, reaching for a sip of the coffee he’d gotten from the same place, still refusing to look at them despite seeing Emily’s mouth hanging open out of the corner of his eye.

“Do not tell me,” she began, voice very close to being scary, “That you went to our favourite cafe…and you didn’t bring us a muffin too.”

He debated how to tell them, or whether to try and lie and say that this muffin wasn’t from their favorite cafe, it was from somewhere else, but that was hopeless. They knew. He finally made awkward eye contact as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“They only had one muffin left,” he said regretfully, eyes flashing with sympathy, “Sorry, Emily. I haven’t eaten this morning.”

“I haven’t eaten either,” Derek said, pouting at him like he pouted at Garcia sometimes when she teased him.

“Neither have I,” Emily was quick to add, eyes darting between Spencer’s face and the muffin on the table. Spencer’s eyes narrowed at her. He wrapped a protective arm around the muffin on the table and his sympathetic gaze turned into a glare in an instant.

“I’m not sharing my muffin with you,” he said firmly, looking between them and rolling his eyes when Emily winked at him, like he was just saying it for Derek’s sake and he was going to share with her when the man’s back was turned, “Either of you.”

His sharp look towards Emily told her all she needed to know.

“You’re the worst,” she huffed dramatically and kicked Spencer’s chair, just enough for him to rock a little before she sat back down at her own and folded her arms. Spencer shook his head at her. She could act like a petulant child when she wanted to and he was pretty sure she enjoyed it a bit too much.

Derek was still staring at him expectantly.

“What?” Spencer asked impatiently, desperate for the two of them to go back to their business so he could just eat his damn muffin in peace. All he wanted was a few minutes silence to eat his breakfast before what was sure to be a stressful day.

“Wait, were you serious?” Derek asked incredulously, leaning back from the desk with wide eyes, “I’m your best friend! Give me some muffin!”

“No!” Spencer growled, tugging his muffin across the the other side of the desk and hunching over as he took a bite, “Leave me alone.”

Derek held his hands up in surrender as he backed away from the desk, but Spencer didn’t miss the look he gave Emily as he went back to his own desk.

He found himself feeling a little guilty. Most other days, and he’d probably cut the muffin into three pieces happily and pass around the pieces, taking the grateful thanks with glowing pride. But this morning, a bird crapped on him the moment he left his apartment, ruining his coat in a second. He’d had go back inside to change, which made him off his schedule by a few minutes. It was a fact that had been irritating him ever since.

Just as he felt that no one was coming to steal what was his, even though Emily was still sulking from a safe distance, there was a cheery voice and some heels clacking across the floor that made his head snap up from his desk.

“Morning everyone,” you chimed out, waving to your coworkers as you sat down at your desk, opposite Spencer’s own. Everyone greeted you with bright smiles, even Emily perking up a little bit as you entered. It was as if Spencer’s hunched back straightened out in an instant, the furrow in his brow vanishing and replaced by a fluttering in his stomach that he was desperate to tame. It only got worse when you peered over at him from behind the files piled on your desk, “Morning Spence!”

“Morning Y/N,” he said with a soft smile, “You’re in a good mood, I presume?”

“I hope you’re not profiling me!” you joked and Spencer couldn’t help a little laugh at that before you gasped suddenly. He followed your gaze to the muffin, “You went to Gino’s! Everything okay?”

He could feel the heat across his collarbones as you stared at him, chin resting in your hand. The other two hadn’t even thought about the fact that he only made the detour to Gino’s when he needed an extra pick-me-up in the morning. You knew, though. You knew and you cared and Spencer felt like his chest was slowly constricting around his heart.

“Bird crapped on me first thing,” he shrugged, a little embarrassed but you just groaned sympathetically.

“And you had to change, so your whole morning routine was thrown off?” you asked, and now he was really sure he was getting dizzy as he watched your concerned frown, “I’m sorry, Spence, that’s the worst. But at least you’ve got an amazing Gino muffin! I could do with one of those.”

He was slowly losing his mind every time you said something that proved how well you knew him, how much you paid attention when he talked. No one else paid attention like you did. Anytime he caught himself talking too much, or the looks his team sometimes gave him, he’d look down and scuff his shoes against the ground to stop himself becoming too embarrassed, but you’d quickly reassure him, squeeze his arm with a smile or tell him to keep going.

He fell deeper every single time.

So he spoke without thinking, without caring who might have heard him.

“Do you want half?”

Two heads shot up from their desk in his peripheral vision and he ignored them as best he could, keeping his gaze on you. You were still smiling at him, that soft little smile that he didn’t see you give to many other people, even though he wasn’t naive enough to think it meant anything.

“No, no,” you shook your head, “It’s your bad morning muffin, I wouldn’t dream of taking it from you.”

But he was already reaching into his draw, pulling out the blunt knife he kept for just such occasions and slicing down the middle of the muffin. He wrapped half in one of the napkins they’d put in the bag and held it out for you, hoping his hand wasn’t shaking.

“It can be our good morning muffin,” he said, explaining himself when you still didn’t take it from him, “Random acts of kindness are proven to improve mood, so it’ll only improve my morning if you take it.”

You were still hesitant but when he left it on top of a file and went back to eating his own, you finally picked it up and took a bite. You practically moaned and Spencer’s ears were definitely turning pink now.

“Oh my god, Spence, this is so good,” you said between mouthfuls, “You’re an angel.”

He didn’t think he would take such flippant words to heart, but he couldn’t help the warmth that spread throughout his body right to the tips of his toes.

“Happy to help,” he said simply, trying to sound breezy but probably failing. You both ate in peace from then. Or relative peace, in Spencer’s case. Because there were two sets of daggers being glared into the side of his head. He knew that if looks could kill, he would be dead a hundred times over, though he hadn’t even made eye contact with his killers yet.

Half an hour later, muffin finished and mostly forgotten, all four heads were buried in their work before you stretched out and stood up from your desk.

“Coffee round?”

Emily offered to come with you and Derek mumbled his thanks while Spencer looked up at you with a grateful smile.

“That would be great, thank you,” he said sincerely and you grinned at him.

“Anything for my angel,” you hummed appreciatively, walking past him with Emily. Just when he thought you had gone, he heard quick footsteps returning to him and before he could react, you had pressed a kiss to his cheek. You ran off again and he stared after you, dumbfounded, still staring when you turned around to wink at him.

He was only snapped out of his stupor when something smacked him on the head and he turned to see a ball of rubber bands on the floor next to him. He looked upwards. Derek.

“Um, ow!” Spencer exclaimed but Derek rolled his eyes.

“Dumbass,” he said, then put on a mock high voice, “Oh please, take half of my muffin, Y/N, since I worship the ground you walk on.”

Spencer whipped his head round to check you hadn’t returned.

“Shut up!”

---

You were biting your lip so hard that you thought it might bleed. You shouldn’t have kissed him. You knew you shouldn’t.

But you didn’t regret it. Not even a little bit.

“Can’t believe you got that damn muffin,” Emily muttered to you as you made the coffee side by side, “You know he wouldn’t give any to me or Derek? But you come along and he’s practically shoving it into your mouth.”

She was constantly trying to convince you that Spencer liked you but you weren’t having any of it. He was just kind, you insisted. Overwhelmingly and unfalteringly kind.

“Emily…” you warned, not wanting her to continue her line of thought while you were at work where anyone could hear you, “He’s just being nice.”

“And I guess that kiss on the cheek was just being nice too?” she glared at you from your side playfully, then made her voice purposefully higher as she imitated you, “Oh Spencer, my angel, I would do anything that you asked me t-”

“Shut up!”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fluff #spencer x reader

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eldritchw1tch · 3 years

Text

i don’t want you like a best friend: a tswift-pimms playlist

link

this is the pimms playlist i spent more than a year working on from like, 2018 to the end of 2019! as such, it only contains music up through lover, not anything from folklore or evermore. @permets-2 finally poked me into posting the liner notes, which I gave up on because tumblr formatting was fighting me, so please know i haven’t actually looked at them since 2019 and there might still be missing things? idk.

this playlist is absolutely dedicated to my beloved @faiasakura, who did her own version of an all-tswift pimms playlist completely independently (we actively avoided comparing notes, lol), which can be found here!

i don’t really go here lately but i hope this is of interest to someone!

Prologue

1. Don’t Blame Me (reputation)

for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay

…

Lord save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

Act 1: The Q

2. Gorgeous (reputation)

a crush

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

…

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But what can I say?

You're gorgeous

3. Treacherous (Red)

something magnetic, pulling them both in

And I'll do anything you say

If you say it with your hands

And I'd be smart to walk away

But you're quicksand

…

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know

That nothing safe is worth the drive

And I will follow you, follow you home

4. Dress (reputation)

a shared and precious secret: love, desperate and messy and everything. But also: the scrutiny, the frenetic anxiety, the fear.

I’m spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about—

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

5. Tied Together With a Smile (Taylor Swift)

the pressure builds; jack’s anxiety gets worse

Hold on, baby you're losing it

The water's high, you're jumping into it

And letting go, and no one knows

That you cry, but you don't tell anyone

That you might not be the golden one

And you're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone

6. Long Live (Speak Now)

the glory, the playoffs, the memorial cup: the golden boys of hockey, on top of the world

Long live the walls we crashed through

All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming, long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day, we will be remembered

…

Hold on, to spinning around

Confetti falls to the ground

May these memories break our fall

7. State of Grace (Red)

the 34 days, inside kent’s euphoria

This is a state of grace

This is the worthwhile fight

Love is a ruthless game

Unless you play it good and right

These are the hands of fate

You’re my Achilles heel

this is the golden age of something good and right and real

8. Cruel Summer (Lover)

(that golden season and its dark underbelly)

So cut the headlights, summer's a knife

I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh)

And I scream, "For whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

9. Haunted (Speak Now)

the overdose: kent finds jack on the bathroom floor

Whoa, holding my breath

Won't lose you again

Something's made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

You're all I wanted

10. I Know Places (1989)

kent in the waiting room, holding on hope

Something happens when everybody finds out

See the vultures circling, dark clouds

Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out

It could burn out

…

Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

Let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time

Not this time

Act 2: The Fallout

11. The Story of Us (Speak Now)

kent goes to the draft; jack won’t answer his calls

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you like it's killing me?

Yeah, and I don't know what to say

Since the twist of fate, when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

…

The battle's in your hands now

But I would lay my armor down

If you say you'd rather love than fight

12. Last Kiss (Speak Now)

jack and kent, the same realization from opposite sides

So I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

13. Death By A Thousand Cuts (Lover)

Starting to live with the devastation and the broken heart

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

’Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

’Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts

14. If This Was A Movie (Speak Now)

regrets and memories

Last night, I heard my own heart beating

Sounded like footsteps on my stairs

Six months gone and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there

I was playing back a thousand memories, baby

Thinkin' 'bout everything we've been through

Maybe I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

15. Cold as You (Taylor Swift)

the grief and pain become anger and bitterness

And when you take, you take the very best of me

So I start a fight cause I need to feel something

And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

…

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you and wished them all away

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Interlude 1: Jack

16. I Almost Do (Red)

kent doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does (but jack doesn’t either)

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you

‘Cause each time you reach out, there’s no reply

I bet it never, ever occurred to you

That I can’t say hello to you

And risk another goodbye

…

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe

It’s probably better off this way

And I confess, babe

In my dreams, you’re touching my face

And asking me if I want to try again with you

And I almost do

Act 3: Coming of Age in Vegas

17. New Romantics (1989)

vegas; teammates; living in the moment; drinking, dancing, and self-destructing

We're all here, the lights and boys are blinding

We hang back, it's all in the timing

It's poker

He can't see it in my face

But I'm about to play my Ace (ahh)

We need love, but all we want is danger

We team up, then switch sides like a record changer

The rumors are terrible and cruel

But honey, most of them are true

…

Heartbreak is the national anthem

We sing it proudly

We’re too busy dancing (yeah) to get knocked off our feet

Baby, we're the new romantics

The best people in life are free

18. Begin Again (Red)

kent starts to move on

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did

I've been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again

19. The Way I Loved You (Fearless)

all the drinking and dancing and dating still feel empty and hollow; he just wants to feel again; he just wants that love back

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

It's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name

I'm so in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breaking down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kind of rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

…

He can't see the smile I'm faking

And my heart's not breaking

'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating

Intoxicating, complicated

20. The Lucky One (Red)

kent parson: the loneliest boy, so alone at the top of the world

You had it figured out since you were in school

Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool

So overnight, you look like a sixties queen

…

And they tell you that you’re lucky, but you’re so confused

'Cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used

And all the young things line up to take your place

—

Another name goes up in lights

You wonder if you’ll make it out alive

21. Come In With The Rain (Fearless)

(starting to move on is not the same as letting go)

I’ve watched you so long, screamed your name

I don’t know what else I can say

…

But I’ll leave my window open

'Cause I’m too tired at night to call your name

Just know I’m right here hoping

That you’ll come in with the rain

Act 4: Implosion

22. Out of the Woods (1989)

memories he can’t escape of a love like a car crash

The night we couldn't quite forget

When we decided, we decided

To move the furniture so we could dance

Baby, like we stood a chance

Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying

And I remember thinking

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet?

…

You took a Polaroid of us

Then discovered (then discovered)

The rest of the world was black and white

But we were in screaming color

23. Red (Red)

Kent decides to go to epikegster

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati

Down a dead-end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin

Ending so suddenly

…

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head

In burning red

Loving him was red

24. The Last Time (Red)

didja miss me? (something tentative; something a little bit hopeful on both sides)

Find myself at your door

Just like all those times before

I’m not sure how I got there

All roads they lead me here

I imagine you are home

In your room, all alone

And you open your eyes into mine

And everything feels better

25. The Archer (Lover)

kent tries to extend an olive branch but it’s still covered in thorns

Combat, I'm ready for combat

I say I don't want that, but what if I do?

'Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

…

I've been the archer, I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling

But who could stay?

…

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then I hate my reflection for years and years

26. Bad Blood (1989)

jack’s answer to kent’s wounded lashing out

Oh, it's so sad to

Think about the good times

You and I

…

’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood

You know it used to be mad love

So take a look what you've done

’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!

27. Breathe (Fearless)

kent, driving away from epikegster

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

…

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

…

And I can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you but I have to

28. All Too Well (Red)

despite all the pain, there’s an irresistible nostalgia for what they had all those years ago—for when things were so much simpler

Maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

'Til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

Too well

…

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again

But I'm still trying to find it

Interlude 2: Kent

29. Fifteen (Fearless)

a memory, a reflection

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen and your first kiss

Makes your head spin 'round

But in your life you'll do things greater than

Dating the boy on the football team

But I didn't know it at fifteen

…

When all you wanted was to be wanted

Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

Act 5: Moving On, Growing Up

30. Clean (1989)

finally learning to be his own person, separate from that shared past

There was nothing left to do (Oh-oh, oh-oh)

When the butterflies turned to

Dust that covered my whole room

So I punched a hole in the roof (Oh-oh, oh-oh)

Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

…

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud

But no one heard a thing

…

Rain came pouring down

When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe

And by morning

Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

31. 22 (Red)

friends and freedom, and real joy in that this time around

It feels like a perfect night

To dress up like hipsters

And make fun of our exes, uh-uh, uh-uh

It feels like a perfect night

For breakfast at midnight

To fall in love with strangers, uh-uh, uh-uh

…

Yeah

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

It's miserable and magical, oh, yeah

Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines

It's time, oh-oh

32. So It Goes… (reputation)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

'Cause we break down a little

But when you get me alone, it's so simple

'Cause baby, I know what you know

We can feel it

…

And all the pieces fall right into place

Getting caught up in a moment

Lipstick on your face

So it goes…

…

I'm yours to keep

And I'm yours to lose

You know I'm not a bad girl, but I

Do bad things with you

So it goes…

33. Dancing With Our Hands Tied (reputation)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

I, I loved you in secret

First sight, yeah, we love without reason

Oh, twenty-five years old

Oh, how were you to know?

…

Could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets

Picture of your face in an invisible locket

You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

I had a bad feeling

…

I'd kiss you as the lights went out

Swaying as the room burned down

I'd hold you as the water rushes in

If I could dance with you again

34. Wildest Dreams (1989)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

He's so tall and handsome as hell

He's so bad, but he does it so well

I can see the end as it begins

My one condition is

…

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your

Wildest dreams, ah-aah, haa

34. Shake It Off (1989)

At the top of his game, at the top of his sport, and actually happy at long last

I never miss a beat

I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don’t see, mm, mm

…

But I keep cruisin'

Can't stop, won't stop groovin'

It's like I got this music in my mind

Saying it's gonna be alright

…

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

35. Holy Ground (Red)

Remembering with enough distance and experience to appreciate what was, not ache from it

Spinning like a girl in a brand new dress

We had this big wide city all to ourselves

We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you"

And for the first time, I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story's got dust on every page

But sometimes, I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd

…

'Cause darling, it was good

Never looking down

And right there where we stood

Was holy ground

Act 6: Reunion

36. ME! (Lover)

reconnection, reconciliation, re-appreciation

I know I tend to make it about me

I know you never get just what you see

But I will never bore you, baby

(And there's a lot of lame guys out there)

…

'Cause one of these things is not like the others

Livin' in winter, I am your summer

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like me-e-e

37. This Love (1989)

an unexpected reawakening

Tossing, turning

Struggled through the night with someone new

And I could go on and on, on and on

Lantern, burning

Flickered in my mind, only you

But you were still gone, gone, gone

…

Been losing grip, on sinking ships

You showed up just in time

…

This love is good, this love is bad

This love is alive back from the dead, oh-oh, oh

These hands had to let it go free, and

This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

38. End Game (reputation) (ft. ed sheeran as jack)

After all this time, there are things they aren’t ever going to let go of again, no matter the trouble they bring

I got a bad boy persona, that's what they like (what they like)

You love it, I love it too 'cause you my type (You my type)

You hold me down, and I protect you with my life

…

I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be

Just another ex-love you don’t wanna see

I don’t wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)

Like the other girls do

I don’t wanna hurt you, I just wanna be

Drinking on a beach with you all over me

I know what they all say (I know what they all say)

But I ain't tryna play

…

I wanna be your end game (End game)

I wanna be your first string (First string)

I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team)

I wanna be your end game, end game

39. You Are In Love (1989)

something real; something sacred; something to build a life on

You can hear it in the silence (silence), silence (silence), you

You can feel it on the way home (way home), way home (way home), you

You can see it with the lights out (lights out), lights out (lights out)

You are in love, true love

You are in love

…

You kiss on sidewalks

You fight and you talk

One night, he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says "You're my best friend"

And you knew what it was, he is in love

40. Change (Fearless)

when the two biggest hockey players of their generation come out of the closet—together—are in love with each other—it changes more lives than just theirs

So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered

It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair

We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found

They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away, say we don't need this

But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

…

'Cause these things will change

Can you feel it now?

These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down

This revolution, the time will come

For us to finally win

And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah

Oh, oh

41. Call It What You Want (reputation)

When it stops mattering what anyone else thinks

All my flowers grew back as thorns

Windows boarded up after the storm

He built a fire just to keep me warm

All the drama queens taking swings

All the jokers dressing up as kings

They fade to nothing when I look at him

And I know I make the same mistakes every time

Bridges burn, I never learn

At least I did one thing right

I did one thing right

I'm laughing with my lover, makin' forts under covers

Trust him like a brother

Yeah, you know I did one thing right

Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

…

My baby's fit like a daydream

Walking with his head down

I'm the one he's walking to

So call it what you want, yeah

Call it what you want to

42. Lover (Lover)

love

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

…

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Forever and ever, ah

Take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my lover

43. New Year’s Day (reputation)

love

You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

I can tell that it's gonna be a long road

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

…

Don't read the last page

But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we're making mistakes

I want your midnights

But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

44. Daylight (Lover)

Building a new life in the daylight

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven

I'll tell you truth, but never goodbye

…

I once believed love would be (burning red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

Like daylight, daylight

…

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

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mattzerella-sticks · 4 years

Text

Swallow It Whole (Dean/Cas 1.1k coda to 15x16 “Drag Me (Away From You)”)

Read here on ao3

"The older you get... the less lies make everything better"

But when you've told as many lies as Dean has, it's hard to tell what's true and what's not. How can he remove all the rotten parts of himself without bringing everything down? Which lies have ingrained themselves so firmly, that removing them would change everything about who he was?

And, scariest of them all, who would he be without those lies?

Dean doesn’t stop him. The fire in Sam’s eyes, tense set of his shoulders – it’s suicide. Anything he said would be met with a sharp tongue that cuts worse than any knife and acid words which will scar indiscriminately. He’s tired anyway. Weighed down by over forty years of waking nightmares, a heavy, iron ball in his stomach. They cut his fuel line, letting it bleed along the road home.

He climbs out of Baby, once the echoes of Sam’s footfalls lessen considerably. Slinks towards the trunk for his duffel. Sam’s still there, untouched. Forgotten in his anger. Dean leaves it, too. Bag swinging with every step, dangling off his fingers.

His phone vibrates, chirping with a text. Cas, Have you told…

Rolling his eyes, Dean offers a curt reply. Dean tries pocketing it again, only his phone starts ringing. He answers immediately, “Cas…”

“Sam knows?”

“Yeah,” Dean says, shuffling down the hallway. Darkness ahead and behind, reminding Dean of how empty their home is. Haunted. A chill races up his spine. “He wasn’t too keen on it, either.”

Cas softly huffs over the line, “I had a feeling.”

“Yeah, yeah… your feelings.” His imagination recreates the night before. Their last conversation face-to-face. Cas looking soft in such a sad way, that cruelly tempted Dean. Urged his hand forward, like he can force a smile with a simple brush of his thumb. A band-aid on a mortal wound. He almost did it, then. Even now, it twitches at his side. Like he can reach through the phone and touch stubble. “You think it’ll make a difference?” he asks.

“I hope so.” Cas hums, the sounds of tires rolling on asphalt filling the background. He’s still on the road. “Two heads are better than one.”

“And three?”

“…Is that an offer?”

He wishes it was. Dean enters his room, flicking the light on. Dumps his bag without care and slams the door behind him. Shutting himself off from the rest of the world. “This is the best shot we got,” he tells Cas, “and I doubt you’ll find anything in the next few days that’ll top Billie’s.”

“We will,” Cas says, “we have to… for Jack.” He pauses, finger on the trigger. Tapping at it, Dean waiting for the blow. “If you… if you tell him that he doesn’t… that this won’t make up for Mary’s death, that might change his mind.”

It would. Cas mentioned Jack’s motivations, and Billie confirmed it… though Dean held no doubt about that. Dean sat with this truth for longer than he’d like, asking himself in an infinite loop if this can really balance the scales. Each time, the answer remained the same. A loss is a loss, and Dean’s tired of losing. Jack’s death won’t heal her absence. Hadn’t when Chuck smote him, and he doubts it’ll hurt less if Jack returns the favor.

But then he thinks about the other choices. Losing his son or losing the world.

Caitlin made a point, that lying won’t make anything better. For other people. Tell yourself enough lies, and you can convince yourself of even the most improbable things. Like how he has room for a few more. “I can’t do that, Cas.”

When he speaks those words, Cas deflates. Verbally, with a low hiss. Visually, he must mirror how he looked under the Bunker’s dim lighting. Weary, dragged through hell with miles to go. Unraveled and strung out for vultures that circle. His chest slams against his ribcages. Beating a mournful drum, the same cadence with which Cas walked from Dean’s side. Onto a ruinous path he couldn’t follow. How he yearned for it, though.

“Dean,” Cas starts. Voice trembling, unsure. “you can’t do this for Jack?”

He’d do everything for him. Switch roles, become the bomb, take Chuck and Amara into the sunset with him. Billie laid the plan out very clearly, any deviation from it would be very painful. His wants… aren’t important. Never were. There’s very little he can control. “No,” he whispers, blinking back tears, “I… I can’t.”

“Would you do it for me, then?”

“Cas…” It’s easier repressing these. Especially so without distractions like Cas’s hair, his eyes, the little cleft on his chin and the warmth that constantly radiates from his body. “I can’t.”

“I see…” The detachment in Cas’s words shouldn’t hurt as much as they do. He can’t ever believe this lie. “Then it’s me and Sam, then? Alone…”

Possibly. Dean bets his brother skipped past his room, exchanging sleep for the Bunker’s trove of secrets. Like they might hold more than the manifestation of Death, herself. Which… “Billie might pop in,” he warns, “not to help, obviously. She’ll be… making sure the house is in order.”

Cas chuckles, the noise uncharacteristically grating his ears. “I’ll be ready for Billie.”

“Will you?”

“I killed her once.”

“When she was a reaper,” Dean rubs at his jaw, “promise me you won’t take any unnecessary risks… rock the boat too much.”

“I can’t do that,” he parrots him, uses Dean’s words against him. One lie for another. “It’s getting late… is there more you’d wish to say or…”

He can apologize. Cry, tell him how Jack’s sacrifice hurts with the same fury Cas must feel. That they’ve bucked fate before, their family can do it again. How there’s hope the four of them can see this final battle through. A peaceful future exists, where Jack is alive, and Sam isn’t angry with him, and Cas stays. With him. And Dean can finally… he allows… he feels…

Dean swallows each and every prayer, scowling. “No,” he says, “night.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Cas drops their call. Dean stays on, listening as the ringer flatlines. Then, when the quiet returns, he remains there. Phone pressed on his cheek, rooted to the spot.

His stomach lurches, startling him into action. On wobbly legs Dean stumbles towards his bedroom sink, leaning over the porcelain. Gagging on all the mistruths and almost-saids he forced down his throat. Sick from his own bullshit. Tears freely flow down his cheeks while he coughs, choking, fighting himself.

Dean loses. A simple thing slips through, “I don’t want…” Then, the next. “Jack, he –“ Dean gasps, drool pooling around the drain, “He doesn’t deserve this. Doesn’t need –“ He groans, sweating now, too. Eyes burning, blood vessels popping from the strain. “Cas, I want…” It’s stuck there, chained by years of pressure. Millions of lies – little ones he says easily like a blink. And the larger ones, that required gymnastics to make sense. “Please,” he says, “don’t go where I can’t follow, angel. I can’t lose both of you…”

He glances at his reflection. Expression sunken, face wrecked from it all. Flashes of Jack, with his eyes burned out. Cas on the ground, wings scorched into the earth.

Living with so many lies, it’s hard to parse through the truth. Dean knows one.

His life has never been fair.

#supernatural #spn #spn15 #15x16 drag me (away from you)#dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #jack kline #billie the reaper #destiel #deancas #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #destiel coda #angst

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thereluctantinquisitor · 3 years

Text

WIP Whenever

Thank you for the tag @captainsaku! At the moment, I’m still limping through the opening chapters of Stonebreaker, trying to get a feel for the story and work on strengthening my atrophied writing muscles. Anyway, I figured I’d share what I have so far of Adiran’s introductory chapter. It’s basically just an awkward, descriptive mess, but at least it’s something. At this point, I’ll count that as a win!

I also put a short glossary at the end in case some terms were confusing. <3

Chapter 3 - A Scene

Be present. Do not cause a scene.

They were simple enough requests, Adiran supposed, as he braced himself and drained his third flute of wine. He knew it was poor form to cringe after swallowing, but the dry white was about as pleasant as a mouthful of sand and only went down half as well. If he was the paranoid type, he’d think the servers were offering him the worst vintages on purpose.

Then again, the celebration had stretched into its ninth day, now. Even the royal cellars had a limit.

Despite overstaying its welcome, the event remained at a predictably lofty height of splendour. In the ballroom - Vetrose’s famed Silver Font - delicate rivulets of water, no wider than the span of a hand, curled their way across the marble floor, draining into a shallow pool at the base of the royal thrones. Above their heads, weavelight strings were draped elegantly between pillars and across wide arches, their glowing pinpricks joining the blazing chandelier to bathe the room a honey-gold.

Beneath that radiant light, the Talveran nobility moved like swans, jewellery glittering, ankle-length gowns and embroidered jackets flashing enough to catch the attention of nesting crows. Hundreds packed the Font that night - an entirely different crowd to the evening prior, and likely the one prior to that. Attending Talveran court, with its litany of demands and expectations, was an exhausting and expensive affair. Every evening demanded a new outfit. A new glittering showpiece. A new plan for navigating the treacherous waters of social interaction, careful not to show too much interest in any one person. One night was difficult enough to survive. Very few could afford to be present for an entire turn’s worth of celebration.

Unfortunately, Adiran had no choice in the matter. It just had to be his brother returning from the northern border. As if no one else had ever come back from that waste of a campaign.

Another mouthful. Another weary swallow of something half as strong as it needed to be. Honestly, he’d almost rather be swallowing sand. At least that meant he’d be in the arena, getting his ass kicked practicing for something that mattered, instead of wasting his time decorating the wall. Divider’s Own, Lorvain was meant to have arrived by the third day! Adiran might have been able to slip away if he had been around to soak up the attentions of the lords and ladies. But no. The beloved Crown Prince had probably stopped to fawn over milkmaids and shepherds at every town between here and Morgate. Really, they should have accounted for that before throwing such a ridiculous event...

A prince should want to know his people, Adiran. I thought you understood that?

Threading paths expertly between the nobility were almost three dozen servers dressed in vibrant Volise green. Silver trays were held aloft on the pads of their gloved fingers as they moved in rehearsed patterns around the room, making sure every hand that sought a glass found a delicate stem. It was a different sort of dance; the kind that typically went unnoticed, the same way a clock’s hands are appreciated more than the mechanism behind the face. They knew the position of every crack in the stone; every rivulet.

None of them ever looked down.

Speaking of timing, the only reason Adiran paid the servers any heed was to make sure he got his right. On cue, he finished his wine with a grimace and thrust it towards a well-groomed young woman, her dark hair braided and pinned neatly around her head. Without so much as an errant blink, she bobbed carefully at the knees, accepted the glass, and replaced it with a new one from her tray.

“Careful not to drop that,” Adiran said, taking the drink and giving it an experimental sniff. Sweeter. Thank the Divider for that.

The server hesitated. They always did. Every night. “Your Highness?” she asked, and her lilt was perfection. Just the right amount of simpering, blended with polite curiosity. Someone had taken her training seriously.

“Am I slurring already? What I’m saying is that if the Crown Prince finally shows up and you’re in the middle of mopping a puddle, the King will have your hide for saddle leather. So...” He extended one bored finger towards the tray, a smirk curling the corner of his lips. “Tread lightly.”

The server’s mouth opened, and for a moment no sound followed. For just one blissful, fleeting second, Adiran thought he’d finally done it. He’d finally won.

Then, like underappreciated clockwork, her lips shaped themselves into a beatific smile, and she dipped into a curtsy. The tray never even wobbled. “Thank you for your concern, Your Highness. On my word, I will remain diligent. I would not dare bring shame on our King’s house.”

Damn it. The smile Adiran flashed back - half a sneer - could cut glass. But the server had already completed her parting bob and returned to her dance, weaving and gliding among the gaggle of silver-bloods with her tray of weak wine. Expression turning brittle, Adiran huffed and leaned back against one of the massive marble pillars - just one of fifteen lining the room. He’d claimed it on the first evening, like a hound staking its territory. Most people knew better than to bother him once he’d found his haunt, but the serving staff simply didn’t have that luxury. He supposed it was probably unkind, to force them to speak to him. But Divider, he was just so bored...

Scowling, he took a long swallow of his new drink, the chilled, sweet liquid a welcome enough sensation as it ran down the back of his throat.

So he was unkind. So what?

“Are you finished losing to the servers for tonight, or should I come back later?”

A familiar voice, and right on time. Adiran gave no indication of surprise, barely even turning to acknowledge the man. After all, this was just another ritual for them; a way to take a knife to long hours of affluent, barely drunk loitering. “Yeah, I’m done. An earthquake couldn’t shake them.” His gaze finally cut across, delivering what he hoped was a scathing look as Riin settled against the pillar beside him. “Took you long enough. Get distracted by all the pretty gowns and pouting lips?”

Folding his arms across his broad chest, Riin chuckled softly, utterly immune to Adiran’s glare. “Could you blame me if I was? Everyone looks appealing under this light.”

“That’s generous of you.” Sniffing, Adiran glanced up. Even with the smoke-glass covers encasing each glowing orb, he still had to squint against the brightness of the weavelights. “Guess it could be worse. We looked more like corpses before the covers were put on.”

“Really? I’m glad I missed it.”

“Yeah. Being dead inside is more than enough.”

Riin laughed, and a faint smile curved Adiran’s lips. He quickly hid it behind his glass. Truthfully, the entire ‘weavelight saga’ had been ridiculous. The King and Queen had commissioned hundreds of them from Tel Shival, purely because no one else had ever done it. Even the wealthiest families only ever had a few per household, usually kept in a lantern or a sconce in the most frequented rooms. After two seasons of painstaking arrangement that nearly killed two of their staff, the Silver Font soon found itself bathed in a thematically violent silver light. It had been an exciting novelty, at first; nobility flooded in from all over Talvera just to bask in the glow of thousands of wasted sicets. But then they quickly realised that colours didn’t behave the same way. Their favourite jewellery didn’t catch the eye. Their skin didn’t appear as youthful and rosy. Instead, every flaw - every stray hair or unpolished button - was placed on stark display for the vultures to pick at.

The weavelights were as bleak and clinical as a physicker’s ward. They sucked the warmth out of everything they touched.

In Adiran’s mind, the wash of corpse-light over each soiree was a perfectly fitting thing. But, as was typical, no one else agreed. So, they decided to encase each of the weavelights in honey-tinted glass and returned the room to almost exactly how it looked before. Back when it was lit by oil and flame.

That was how things were in Talvera. Decisions were made, sicets were spent, and then everyone just wanted to go back to how things used to be. Like nothing had ever happened.

GLOSSARY

Weavelight - spheres of crystal or glass, with a light-bearing glyphstring engraved by a thaumist specialising in Weaving. Maintains a bright, steady silver light. Cannot be dimmed or turned off at will. Thaumist - a well-trained practitioner of the thaumic arts, capable of manipulating thaumic essence. Turn - ten days. Tel Shival - An independent, famously insular city dedicated to the training and cultivation of thaumists and thaumaturgical study. Sicet - Currency used in the Allied Kingdoms.

---

Tagging: @frenchy-and-the-sea, @leothelionsaysgrrrr, @bladeverbena, @thefluffynug, @rufinagertrude, @arduyn, @anarchyduck, and anyone else who has a WIP they’d like to share!

#wip whenever #(because i always miss wednesday lol)#reluctant memes #stonebreaker series #adiran #riin #the more i read it the more i dont really like it but #just... gotta... MOVE ON....#hURGH #reluctant writes

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finaldestination-3 · 2 years

Text

Still trying to rein in his trembling, he stands before the cliff face where he'd received his order from Danzo not half a day earlier. An agent had been posted in the area in the case either of the boys left there tried to escape. Now the agent, masked with the visage if a vulture, all too appropriate really, had taken up the perch in an effort to scout the surroundings. Watchful eyes looked down at Sai now, taking in his roughed up form, awaiting word as to whether he'd been victorious or was just here to cause trouble. Neither figure said anything as the mutual stare dragged on. What was there to say, really?

Finally, Vulture raised his voice. "What do you have to report?"

Sai, dreading this exchange, made to respond despite everything in him trying to prevent it. "I am the only one left."

Vulture narrows his eyes from behind the slits in his mask. "And you're sure?"

With a nod, Sai responds. "Affirmative."

There is really nothing else he could say to the man who outranks him standing there now. How could he even think to explain what had happened? He'd have to fabricate a lot of it anyway. No word of the real events could ever get out for the consequences would most likely be grim. This wasn't a real victory. It was a sham. A sham that had no other ending than death and heartache. Everything about it made Sai feel sick and alone but he could not convey this to anyone. The truth getting out could never happen.

"You will remain here." Vulture sneers down at the newly minted full Root agent. "I will bring back Lord Danzo. If you attempt to leave, you will be killed."

"Yes sir, I understand." Sai gulps. His brain betrays him briefly and considers the idea of dying to not be so bad. Even if it meant his brother had just died in vain.

But before he can war with himself internally in front of his superior and potentially give himself away, the older man vanishes. It shouldn't be too long until their leader comes back to fact check the report. He'd be face to face with Danzo again shortly. The thought struck like a spear of ice right through his core. That man had just ordered him to turn on his own sibling. Made it so that, no matter what they did, only one would make it out alive. He had not prepared for this when he'd woken up that morning. It still didn't feel real to be all alone now. Perhaps it never would.

Time felt like it dragged on and on as he waited for the arrival of the shadow of death. It had gotten so blurry that he barely reacted when three older Root agents appeared in a whirl to precede the presence of Danzo himself. Vulture had returned but now he was flanked by a man in an Eel mask and a woman in a Bear mask. Bear was a rarity in the organization, and she was one of the most lethal. Her reputation was well known and to see her hear now was mortifying. Danzo had come prepared. He had all his bases covered but for the life of him Sai did not know why. Was punishment coming?

"You claim you have completed your assignment already." Danzo fixed him with a one-eyed stare that felt just as icy as he'd imagined. "Show the proof of your claim."

"Yes, Lord Danzo. I will take you to where it happened." Sai's voice shook ever so slightly as he spoke. When was this supposed to get easier? Shin would never approve of this. They'd told him flat out to kill his emotions, but it was easier said than done.

He'd taken the lead position when leading the team towards the sight of the clash. Bear flanked him a little too close for comfort but he could not let on that he wanted her to step back. Eel took up the rear and Vulture paced just behind Danzo, keeping his eyes glued to Sai the same way his namesake would to a dying animal. All the eyes on him, despite the fact that he could not see him, felt incredibly fixated on him and it began to create a suffocating feeling. They expected solid proof out of him. There was no need to worry, the body was definitely still there, but somehow that almost felt worse. Having to face what he'd done, in the presence of his superiors, was a monumental task. His sins would be on full display.

When the scene came into view Sai felt his legs grow heavy. His entire being wanted to go no further even if he had no choice. When Shin had bid him to leave, all he wanted was to get away as fast as he could. Now he had to return to where it all happened and use it as proof that he wasn't lying. Proof of his entry into being a fully minted Foot agent. Status gained through fratricide felt more sinister than anything in his most intrusive dreams. Sai had killed plenty of people before. Every one of those people meant little to him and the violence did not weigh on him quite like this did. Even if he didn't actually strike he blow that felled his brother...it still felt like he was the culprit.

"Would you look at that, seems he was being completely honest." Eel commented from the rear. If he had any less of a handle on his emotions, Sai was sure the man would have whistled out of being so impressed.

"Mind your place." Vulture snarled lowly to him. It shut the avian masked man up immediately. Stupid young blood.

Bear stood over the very still body of the worst kill Sai had ever had to make. Her steely eyes from behind the mask took in the sight of the dead teenager with no sort of feeling at all. She said nothing as Danzo slowly came up to stand at her side. Nothing could shake that woman, Sai knew. She must have seen hundreds of corpses over the course of her entire career in Root. A lot of them had fallen by her hand. One more dead kid was nothing compared to her miles long body count. And her ability to be so stoic in the face of fresh death might be one reason Danzo had brought her along today. It set a "good example" for Sai and his future among their official ranks.

"As of today, you are officially among the ranks of the Foundation." Danzo began, in a flat tone. "If you should even make an attempt to break away then you will be killed immediately."

"Yes sir, Lord Danzo..." Sai looked to his feet as he spoke. He flinched as he realized this was probably a horrible look for him.

"You will look up when you are spoken to." Vulture hisses. There it was.

"What do we do with him now, Lord Danzo?" Eel inquired. He was not referring to Sai but Sai flinched again anyway. Everything about this made him sick.

"You will dispose of the body outside of the village. Do not make a big scene when you do so." The cold leader replied. This really was like an every day routine task to him.

Eel came up close to where Bear stood and kneeled down next to the body of the kid who'd been alive just hours earlier. He reached a hand out and grasped at the back of the Foundation issued dark jacket Shin still had on, gripping the fabric tight, and lifting their limp body a little off the ground. There was probably a sinister look on the face of the 20-something man just then. He was known to be malicious as a baseline personality and seeing him here now, like this, only hammered that home. It was no easy task to support the dead weight in his hand now but he didn't seem to be bothered.

"Too bad." Eel commented flippantly. "This one could have been useful."

Without any sort of care, he jostled the limp form of Sai's beloved brother as he kept his hold on their uniform. Seeing him shake Shin like that caused a horrific wave of nausea to roil through Sai's gut and he had to swallow thickly in an effort to settle his stomach. Such disrespect for the dead should not get to him as much as it was right now. Like the others assembled here, Sai was no stranger to death and bodies. He'd made his fair share of corpses out of once lively Shinobi on orders from their leader and not even felt a flutter of sickness come over him. But now...now was a world apart from all those times.

"Enough games." Bear spoke, voice with zero emotional leaning either way in it, directed at Eel. "We have our orders. You will grab his feet and help me get rid of him."

This got a grumble out of Eel but he complied regardless, letting go of the shirt scruff in his hand to take hold of the back half of the now long gone teenager. Bear moved to pick their front half up and now their entire form was finally off the forest floor. Vulture stuck close to Danzo, hovering like an omen, observing the scene before him. Everything in Sai wanted to bolt away and never turn back. Never did he envision himself looking upon such a sight. Even worse...there was a world, somewhere out there, where that was his body being manhandled while Shin stood and watched. How would they have felt? He had to shake his head to banish the sheer thought if it so it didn't drag him under.

"Anything we need to get rid of before we dispose of him, or is okay to just toss him in a hole like this?" The way Eel spoke grated violently on every nerve Sai still had intact.

"There is nothing on him that can be used against us. Bring him back to the cabin grounds and assure that you bury an animal corpse over his." The way Danzo worded this held no trace of remorse. It never could. He had given them the standard orders like he had every time a final test had taken place. So many dead kids, and this was just another statistic for the list. And it wouldn't be the last addition.

"Got it, understood."

Bear took the lead with Eel nearly stumbling as he tried to match her pace. She knew the way and the best way to get there undetected. Because she was so unbothered by this process, her steps were longer and quicker which made it difficult for the younger man assisting her to keep up. Sai knew he was probably grumbling under his breath but because he was trained better than to act out all he would do is complain in a volume he thought no one would hear. Unluckily for him, Bear definitely heard him, though she chose not to say anything as it was beneath her entirely. The cocky younger agent would fall in line eventually.

Observing all of this left Sai a little numb to everything else around him until the heavy presence of Danzo approached. Vulture stayed several steps behind but still near enough for the teenager to pick up on the rancid aura the man gave off. He felt like a carcass on the side of the road. Helpless to the shims of the predators and scavengers that would eventually erase his whole existence from the world. One wrong move and Vulture would snuff him out without another thought, on Danzo's command. Time to sober up so that did not happen.

"You will report to me first thing tomorrow for your orders. See to it that you do not be late."

"I understand, Lord Danzo." Sai spoke in a submissive tone. "Where am I to be staying tonight?"

"I will not restrict your movement for this situation. However, if you do not report promptly in the morning, there will be absolute punishment. Until then you must decide for yourself where to go."

His eyes strayed then from his commander to the Root agent with the bird mask. Vulture leered at him, an intimidation tactic that was definitely working, and so he averted his gaze quickly. Silence stretched between the three of them now for what felt like ages. It all began to blur and press on Sai like a great weight until his superiors too their leave in a whirl of smoke. Solitude blanketed the entire area now that he was well and truly alone. Shin had told him clearly to kill his emotions so all of this wouldn't destroy him. But in that lonely space just then, his doubts about his ability to do so had never been higher.

"Brother...what do I do now?"

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hale-13 · 3 years

Text

Trapezius

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 27 Prompt 27 - Injured

Peter gazed out over the harbor forlornly, twisting his mask into knots in his lap. Normally he would really enjoy the view – the sun was setting in a clear sky turning the normally disgusting water a soft orange and painting the area with a soft warmth. The peaceful view was marred by the emergency vehicles, Coastguard boats and police and news helicopters which made Peter’s gut clench with anxiety. He just… he tried so hard.

Words: 2123, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, May Parker, Helen Cho

TW: Injury, Poor Emotional intelligence

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

The sound of repulsers approaching made Peter tense and he mentally put his walls back up. He couldn’t afford to let Mr. Stark see him as a kid right now. They were colleges when he was Spider-Man, peers. He took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it puff out through his clenched teeth.

“Previously on Peter screws the pooch I tell you to stay away from this instead you hack a multi-million dollar suit so you can sneak around behind my back doing the one thing I told you not to do,” Mr. Stark’s sarcastic voice said and Peter held back a flinch, keeping his expression blank as he cautiously looked back over his shoulder. His back was killing him and felt hot and swollen from his Hercules hold of the ferry earlier – he had definitely felt something tear – but he couldn’t afford the weakness right now.

“Is everyone okay?” He asked instead, keeping his voice monotone and trying not to tense his back.

“No thanks to you,” the Iron Man voice made Mr. Stark’s snide tone sound slightly metallic but, more than that, it made his blood boil and he whipped around to face the man.

“No thanks to me?” He took no precautions as he lifted his lefts over they side of the concrete tower and jumped down on the other side making his shoulders throb. “Those weapons were out there and I tried to tell you about it and you didn’t listen. None of this would have happened if you had just listened to me!” His voice broke and he could feel blood rushing to his face but he did his best to push down the embarrassment. “If you even cared you’d actually be here.” He threw in boldly.

It took him by surprise, therefore, when the armor opened in from of him and Tony Stark stepped out, a grim look of disappointment on his face that made Peter stumble back a could steps, unable to hide his wince of pain but playing it off as shock instead. “I did listen kid. Who do you think called the FBI huh?”

Peter dropped his gaze, unable to make further eye contact, only interrupting to correct his age and flinching again at Mr. Stark’s yelling. “I’m sorry,” he stammered, but he could tell the platitudes were only making his idol angrier so he said instead, with the most sincerity he could push into his tone “I just… I just wanted to be like you.”

“And I wanted you to be better,” Mr. Stark said back in a weary voice before asking for the suit back. Peter heart sank further but he got it. Mr. Stark was right – he didn’t deserve to be Spider-Man if all he did was hurt other people.

The car ride back to his apartment in Queens was silent and awkward, broken only by Mr. Stark and Happy leaving the car and throwing his a pair of hideous Hello Kitty pajama pants and an oversized New York tourist shirt. It took more effort than he would care to admit to slip the suit off of his painful muscles and lift his arms up high enough to pull the shirt on but he managed it.

Happy slipped back into the driver’s seat a moment later and raised the partition but Mr. Stark didn’t return as they pulled away from the curb and Peter’s heart sank further when he realized the man had probably taken the armor back to the Tower because he couldn’t bear to be in the car with Peter another minute. His eyes were burning but he refused to cry here – he’d already proven to be a problem and he wasn’t going to cry about his well deserved punishment.

The car stopped in front of his apartment and the locks on the doors popped but Happy didn’t roll down to partition to talk to him or offer any direction so, without a backward glance as his poorly folded suit, Peter slunk out of the car and upstairs.

May was not happy with him for skipping school and not answering his phone and, with the pain of his torn muscles ratcheting up and the emotional trauma of the day weighing down on him he collapsed onto the couch and tearfully confessed to his aunt that he had lost his internship, wanting to bring his arms up to return her tender hug but physically unable to do so. His only relief was that she directed him to take a shower pretty immediately because he smelled like garbage,.

And, yeah, he probably did.

The piss poor water pressure of their dingy shower was actually a blessing today but Peter could still barely stand with his back facing the hottest water possible hoping that the heat would relieve some of his pain but he was still just as painful when he forwent his sleep shirt a few minutes later.

He healed fast. This was fine – it would all be resolved in a few days.

———————————————

“Fuck,” Peter muttered, keeping his right arm tucked close to his stomach as he wrestled with the leukotape he had bought at the pharmacy. It kept sticking to itself and the wall and his hair and basically everywhere but where he was trying to stick it and Peter groaned, balling the piece up and throwing it away.

It had been a few months since dealing with the Vulture. A few months since turning down Mr. Stark’s offer to be an Avenger but accepting his offer to become his personal intern and Peter couldn’t be happier.

Well. Except for his shoulder that is.

His left arm had healed fully after straining his muscles holding the ferry together but his right had just gotten worse and worse and it was interfering with his ability to not only be Spider-Man but also to just perform everyday tasks. He hadn’t been able to lift much with that side or even put on a shirt normally in weeks and it was starting to grate on his nerves. After spending hours watching videos on YouTube Peter decided to try some strengthening exercises and taping.

Neither was working very well.

“Fuck,” he said again, with feeling, as he bent forward at the waist to rest his head on the cool counter top of his bathroom. He was supposed to get picked up by Happy in a few minutes to go and spend the weekend at the Tower with Tony to work on his suit and there was no way he could hide this anymore. He couldn’t even lift his arm up to chest level. His phone vibrated on the counter top and he moaned, answering it without looking at the caller ID. “Hey Happy.”

“Nope, guess again,” his mentor’s voice said and Peter jerked up, letting out a strangled grunt as he jostled his shoulder. “You okay kid?”

“Why are you calling me?” Peter said instead, deflecting.

“I’m picking you up,” Tony said. “Now are you okay?”

Peter waffled for a minute but one look at his duffle bag made him ache and he let out a sigh. “Not… really I guess.”

“What’s wrong?” His mentor’s voice was sharp and he could hear the sound of his seatbelt smacking the window of his car and the door opening and closing as Tony got out of the car.

“It’s not a big deal,” Peter said, going to the front door and unlocking and opening it just as Tony left the elevator, they made eye contact and hung up their phones.

“Well you look to be in one piece and there’s no blood everywhere,” Tony said as he joined Peter in the living room of his apartment and looked him over. “So what’s going on kiddo?”

Peter nibbled on his bottom lip and gripped his right hand into his shirt tightly for just a second before releasing it. “Remember the ferry?”

Mr. Stark was silent and attentive as he listened to Peter ramble and sighed deeply at the end of his story, reaching one hand up to massage his eyes. “You really don’t half-ass anything do you?”

“Do you actually want me to answer that?” Peter asked confused and his mentor rolled his eyes, grabbing Peter’s bag from where it was resting in the hallway.

“Come on then, you have a date with Dr. Cho and the MedBay.” Peter whined but didn’t overly protest when he was directed out of the apartment and down to where Mr. Stark had illegally parked in the fire lane in front of his building.

It was just some muscle straining right? A week or two of meds and resting it and everything would be okay.

“Well its not a strain,” Dr. Cho told him just over an hour later looking at the images of his radiographs and MRI on a holotable. “You’ve torn your rotator cuff and continually re-injured it to the point that its basically just a mass of scar tissue.”

“Oh…” Peter said, a little dazed from the small dose of painkillers he had been given so that they would be able to manipulate his arm for the images. “What does that mean?”

Helen gave him the same disapproving look she had been giving him since she had taken his history and had learned that he had been putting massive amounts of pressure and g-force on an injury that he had never allowed to fully heal. “It means Peter,” she said firmly shutting down the table, “that you’ll need surgery to repair the tear and clean out all the scar tissue. And you’ll need to give it time to heal and go to physical therapy if you plan to ever use your arm to its fullest extent ever again.”

Peter’s mind went a little blank at that. “Surgery?” He asked, a note of panic creeping into his voice. “But Spider-Man–,”

“Will be taking a break,” Tony told him. “Your health always comes first Peter.” He turned his attention back to Dr. Cho. “Can you tell his aunt all of this later? Also when can we do the surgery.”

“I’ve already got him scheduled for tomorrow morning with a specialist I’m bringing in from NYU,” she said. “And of course! Just let me know when she gets here.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Peter groused from his spot on the exam bed but both adults ignored him and he rolled his eyes. “What if I don’t want surgery?”

“Then you’ll be dealing with chronic pain, pion and needles, weakness and continuous tearing for the rest of your life and you’ll need a shoulder replacement in less than fifteen years at the rate your going,” Dr. Cho said, typing notes into his chart. “So I’ll see you in the morning for the surgery.”

Peter glared at her but, at the twinge in his arm when he adjusted in his seat, he grumbled “fine”.

“It won’t be that bad Underoos,” Tony said later as they sat on the ridiculously large couch in the penthouse living room watching Brooklyn 99 while May spoke with Peter’s medical team. “You get to skip school for the next week while you recover and I bribed Bob Igor to give me the next season of the Mandolorian early for us to binge.”

“But…” Peter gnawed at his lip, hating the taste of blood that filled his mouth as he broke open the tender skin again. “What if this doesn’t fix it?”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Tony said with a smile. “Cho is the forefront in development in regeneration. If anyone can fix you it’ll be her. And May and I will be there the whole time. You have nothing to worry about okay?”

“You’ll be there?” Peter said, fiddling with a loose thread on his shirt and refusing to look up at his mentor.

“Of course I’ll be there!” Tony said warmly with a squeeze to his good shoulder. “You’re my favorite intern.” He teased.

“Thanks Mr. Stark,” Peter said sincerely, reading the unsaid bit and relaxing a little back in the couch. Between his pain meds and his full stomach he could feel his eyelids drooping and he decided to relax more fully into Tony’s side – there was no where he felt safer.

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump27 #Prompt: Injured #irondad #spider man #Summer of Whump 2021

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seek--rest · 3 years

Note

for the salty asks: 5 and 13 about tony stark??

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

I mentioned st*cky before which is something that has all the makings of something I should enjoy (and have!!) but stay largely away because the characterizations of anyone not the white men are not a vibe.

Can I also say that I enjoyed IronDad a lot more before I realized just how blatantly racist and sexist it can be— and worse yet, how defensive and aggressive the same people who reblog BLM and diversity and protect POC!!! will be when actual POC call this shit out within the IronDad fandom because they’re more angry about being called racist than dealing with racism, more concerned with making fandom a fun and safe place to be for white people, and more concerned about white feelings and the bonkers attachment to protecting comfort characters above all else with the excuse “people are so mean and aggressive about their headcanons when ALL interpretations are valid” then idk... asking themselves why the most popular stories, tropes & trends focus on solely on white men and do the extra step of demonizing, abusing or killing off anyone who isn’t + asking themselves why they’re so mad that POC talking about this?

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

I feel like all my opinions about Tony are unpopular 😂

I guess I never really vibed with this widespread “Tony Stark Defense Squad” thing that IronDad has, or the idea that Tony LOVED PETER LIKE A SON!!!!!! from the moment he met him paired with this absurd woobification that I genuinely do not understand. Like Tony Stark in the MCU seems deeply aware of his own flaws (unhealthily so) and in canon has made a lot of shitty decisions that he doesn’t always reconcile, but tries to. It’s like, the key component of his character arc throughout the entirety of the MCU to consistently make terrible decisions and do his best to do better.

I don’t understand how saying “Tony Stark was not actually interested in or cared about Peter Parker other than for how much of an asset he could be to him + his own self-projection of issues with his own father, as shown in his treatment in both CW and HOCO” is seen as this massively controversial, negative statement and it not just being a description of what happened. Like sure, everything is up for interpretation and the jump from HOCO to Infinity War makes for a more interesting conversation re: Tony attempting to make amends and closeness that we never saw on screen and yet is somehow made more valid than spideychelle to large swaths of irondad... make it make sense.

But like.... did we all see the same movies? Is this not just another example of Tony Stark and how he is with people? That we... like this dude... because he is flawed and makes those kind of mistakes? I genuinely don’t understand how anyone can see CW + HOCO and not see how put off and negligent that Tony Stark was or think that he “loved Peter like a SON” after blackmailing him into coming with him to Germany. “Making a suit shows he cares!!!” Yeah, maybe to Tony but certainly not to Peter, who doesn’t actually know this man aside from the parasocial celebrity relationship that Tony takes advantage of and Peter— being sixteen— willfully follows along with because of it.

tl;dr Tony in canon didn’t “care” about Peter Parker to the extent people want to believe he did— yes even after HOCO considering it was Happy that talked to him the most after Vulture and Tony’s “amendment” was played, on-screen as a joke that was still inappropriate— and it’s my personal belief that he didn’t realize how much he cared about Peter until Peter died in his arms on Titan. He saw him as an asset, then a mistake to be fixed and then finally as a person— as is consistent with his character arc and how Tony treated people throughout the entirety of the MCU.

Salty asks

#seek speaks #Luna gonna get me sniped

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isanyonetoknow · 4 years

Text

[ID: black screen with a vulture on the right. It is looking to the left at a block of text. The header of the text says “Writeblr (re)Introduction” and the text underneath says “aka @isanyonetoknow has been here for a while and realized they never actually made a writeblr intro. oops.” End ID]

*waves* hello! so it turns out that i apparently? didn’t do a writeblr intro? at least, if i did, i can’t find it. so here is mine + a bit of a wip/writeblr search, because it has come to my attention that there’s not enough content on my dash.

who am i:

absolutely not a vulture posing as a human

like come on. where on earth would you get that idea.

anyways i’m not a vulture. obviously. and you can call me ash.

they/them pronouns please and thank you

i mainly write + draw on here, content wise

from time to time i’ll put out a post asking if anyone has something they want me to draw, like an animal. you’re free to send these recs anytime as long as they are safe for work/not outrageous/not you being entitled to my time. you know, basic things like that.

i also post thoughts into the void, as you do.

what am i looking for:

fantasy (low/high/urban, it doesn’t really matter) ; scifi ; heist-esque ; containing crime families ; containing revolutions/rebellions ; containing road trips or people on the run

found!!! family!!!!

preferably minimal to no romance

SFW

character driven / character-centric

oh yeah and preferably a happy ending or at least, things aren’t as awful and terrible at the end.

if your WIP has any or several of these, then i’m probably going to be interested. if not, let me know of your WIPs anyways, because i’m interested in learning about more WIPs!!! (i only ask that you only let me know about SFW/not overly filled with romance WIPs, though. i’m not comfortable with a lot of romance or things that are NSFW)

and of course, i have to plug in my own stuff, so under the cut, i’m going to talk about the WIPs i talk about on here.

the WIPs you can find on here are To Win A Prince, The Prison, Narrations, In the Name of a Capitalized Lord, and This Time Around.

To Win A Prince | intro

After receiving three ridiculous tasks from the king, ex-Knight Aurelius Lijne embarks out on a journey to accomplish them so that they can finally marry their best friend, the crown prince, in peace.

Along the way, they’re saddled with people from all forms of life–from the bard who’s only here for his finals to the elf who might be a spy but is definitely a convict and fugitive to the Fae who’s spent more years among cowboys than their own kind.

Then again, what did Aurelius expect, when one of their tasks involved stealing the Dark Lord’s shoes of all things?

fantasy + found family + a road trip essentially + forgiving (yourself) + healing + prying the teeth of the past from you because you can’t live there anymore, you can’t, that land only exists as long as you let it, it only exists as the teeth and the memory of pain.

The Prison | intro

A traumatized teenager, the magic that they’re a vessel for, and the human experiment they rescued along the way journey together to save the last remaining sources of magic, while trying to avoid their tumultuous pasts.

found family + magic + mystery + some things you can’t get over and some things you shouldn’t get over and some things you’ll get over regardless of if you should or can because getting over it is the only way to live

Narrations:

One: a rebellion in a city that’s been stretching on for years; magic churning when before, it had been barely stirring; we finally figure out where the missing go.

Two: people fall in between the cracks, and it hasn’t been a problem, except that the cracks have been growing larger and larger with each passing day.

Three: the story is never what it looks like. no one knows where the truth ends and the lies begin.

Four: a conversation between two prisoners, and their subsequent escape.

aka four interconnected parts that span worlds. intro(s) + more details coming soon.

found family + magic + space + time/dimension/reality travel + corrupt governments/agencies + revolution + possible apocalypse but not in the way that you think + fighting apathy and the desire to watch the worlds that failed you crash and burn because there are people worth saving

In the Name of a Capitalized Lord:

Sasha has been wandering between lorddoms for almost as long as they could remember. And if there was anything they had learned, it was to never try and gain entrance to the walled lorddoms. The walled ones always had something to hide, something to protect, or something to fight against, and none of those was what Sasha, who always wished for a simple life, wanted. However, when hunger and fatigue grow too great, they try to gain admittance into a walled lorddom. And they get in.

And they can't seem to leave.

So they’re stuck in this walled lorddom, avoiding the lord that absolutely no one wants them to encounter, without anyone ever telling them why.

It looks like they have to do all the work themself.

mystery + historical fiction-esque + family dynamics + found family (literally) + mending relationships + sometimes it’s so much better to think that no one’s there watching and sometimes it’s so much worse

This Time Around

The one time Aleksei Aband tried to be of help, they got kidnapped and thrown on a pirate ship. The one time Hiro Kumagai tried to make his life interesting, he almost got killed, and then kidnapped, along with the resident “Kid You Stay the Hell Away From”, by pirates.

Well.

At least he did make his life interesting.

pirates + curses + found family + healing + redemption + you shouldn’t have to owe your family for taking care of you or for being existent but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel that way and that doesn’t mean you don’t feel guilty every time you think you’ve let them down.

#writeblr intro #writers on tumblr #violetvineyard #so i did a wip intro *jazz hands*

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ubernoxa · 4 years

Text

The Token: A Guns an’ Roses Fanfiction

Chapter 13: Halion

Story Summary: Story inspired by the movie She’s the Man. A female Duff is tired of dealing with the bullshit of trying to make it on the strip as a female bassist. In a desperate attempt to make it big doing what she does, she cuts her hair and mascardes as Duff. What’s the wors that could happen?

Chapter Summary: Michelle/Duff realizes how fragile her lie is.

(Masterlist)

Taglist: @viralwolf02 @littlemisscare-all @smokeandmirrorz @aratbaby @slashscowboyboots @queen-crue @achiweyow @bitter-13-suite @white-lightning-625

I wouldn’t be lying when I said that I thoroughly enjoyed the limo ride that Walter’s father had paid for to drive us to dinner. I almost felt like a rockstar. ALMOST.

As I sat in one of the bright red leather seats drinking a glass of champagne, I could still feel the silk fabric of my periwinkle A-line dress slowly tightening around me. It was almost snakelik. I was it’s prey, and it was getting ready to go in for a kill. The more I moved, talked, or laughed the tighter it felt.

Luckily for me, this wasn’t the first time I wore a tight fitting dress. I was a child of the strip, I was in Pixie, tight clothing was nothing new to me. This though, this was different.

I fidgeted with the headband that was strategically hiding the hairline to my now brown wig. Earlier that day, Macy had come home from work and dyed the wig for me knowing full well that bright blue hair would put Walter’s father in a foul mood. We had worked so hard to stay on his good side, and we weren’t going to throw all of that away because of a stupid wig.

There is no possible way for me to simply describe Walter’s father. He is a rather odd man, but odd in an overly professional way. He is a lawyer at a record company, and his job was focused on making sure the record company wouldn’t get sued. So yes, his uncle hated rock stars and countless lawsuits they would cause by bei absolute unprofessional idiots.

Before you ask, yes I had thought of using him as a connection for getting a record deal, but as I said before he really hates rockstars.

If he ever asked, I worked at a coffee shop and was not a part of a band. If you asked him, I actually hated rock music and didn’t play any instrument. I was the quiet and shy coffee barista who would one day marry a husband and raise a happy little family with two children, a boy and a girl. It was a beautiful lie. It was a simple life that I could have one time chosen, but it wasn’t for me. I knew I had to take the risk of becoming a rockstar; otherwise, I would regret it and live as a shadow of myself for the rest of my life.

Macy gently tapped me on the side with her elbow. I sent her a warm smile as a thanks for bringing me back to reality. I quickly looked back and forth, earning a confused look from everyone in the limo.

“Sorry, just zoned out for a couple minutes,” I faked a giggle in an attempt to soften the blow that I had actually grown incredibly bored of their conversation.

“No worries,” Henry cooed as he gently pushed the hair that was cascaded in front of my shoulder to behind it.

It was a sweet gesture, but it wasn’t entirely welcomed. Ever since the day in the music store where Steven practically told Henry that Izzy and I had fucked in the closet of the music store, Henry seemed to be acting like we were dating. Henry’s annoying actions were worth the price though, and I would do it again with Izzy if I had the chance.

Was it impulsive? Yes.

Was it immature? Yes.

Was it stupid? Yes.

Would I do it again without any hesitation? Yes.

“We’re here,” Henry said, guiding me out of the limo.

It was a beautiful venue. I noticed some paparazzi standing outside the door, creeping through the windows trying to get a picture of some celebrity that was probably trying to mind their own business inside.

That was the part of fame I didn’t look forward to. I had heard stories of some musicians breaking paparazzi cameras or telling them of fuck off. I couldn’t blame them. They just wanted their privacy, something rockstars or any celebrity would never get.

I felt a flash towards our direction quickly followed by some shouting. Panic flooded my bones as I stood paralyzed by the blinding lights. After a couple of deep breaths, I calmed myself down. Once I had collected myself, I looked over to see the questions were thrown at Walter’s father and not me. As quickly the panic had come, it left. All I had to do was follow Henry into the restaurant.

“Is it true that Halion, the rock stars who made your career, have walked away from the record company to pursue better options?” I heard a man yell amongst the small crowd.

Before we could enter the building, Walter’s uncle replied, “First off, they did not make my career. I have been doing this long before they were even born. Second of all, yes they left the company due to creative differences. There are no hard feelings, and we wish them the best.”

Walter’s father was the embodiment of class as he talked to them and shortly headed inside afterwards. This couldn’t have been the first time he had dealt with this. We then were able to sit down at a table that was decorated with elegant silverware and a deep purple tablecloth. Elegance was an understatement, I felt like a queen as I sat down at the table.

“Vultures, bunch of damn vultures,” I froze as Walter’s father cussed under his breath. So there was definitely more to the story of Halion leaving the band, and I would bet my bass that nothing that came out of his mouth was true when he was talking to the paparazzi.

It’s kinda poetic that Halion was one of the bands his record company watched over. Not only did I used to date the bassist, but Halion was a rock band from Sunset Stip. Heroes isn’t a word you would use to describe them because they were far worse that Motley Crue when it came to how they interacted with groupies, and sadly I had to learn the hard way. Despite their tendencies, which are common amongst rockstars, many of the bands on the strip still looked up to them. Why? Because they made it big. Even Pixie used to look up to them, once again, despite them being incredibly sexist.

“Don’t worry father, they’re just desperate to know about company business because they are talentless swines who can only leach off of others,” the air was caught in my lungs once Walter finished speaking. I forgot that I wasn’t the only one wearing a mask. While Walter was never the outgoing funny guy like Steven, he still was nice and had a good heart, to an extent. It was clear that Walter had expectations that his father had put onto him. I don’t know who I pitied more, him or me. My mind slowly wandered toward the thought of my own parents. What would they think of what I’m doing? Would they scream at me? I’ve done worse before, maybe I’d be okay?

I continued to look over the menu and attempt to not gawk at the prices. It was rather clear that between the 5 of us, we were going to spend more money than the price of my monthly rent for the apartment.

“Does anyone plan on ordering seafood tonight?” I couldn’t sense the poison or frustration that once laced Walter’s fathers words as he spoke. We all shook our head no, and he ordered some wine that apparently would pair well with our steaks.

I didn’t protest as the waiter poured me a glass. Yes, I wasn’t 21, but I didn’t complain. I had my fake on me, if I was asked but part of me was hesitant to use it. Had Walter’s father forgotten how much younger I was than his son? Granted it was only a couple of years, but I was 20...not 21.

Laughter erupted from the entrance of the restaurant, and when I looked to see who was the source of it, my stomach twisted. As if they were Beetlejuice, Halion was currently being led to a table not too far from the one I sat at. I made sure to keep my eyes on the menu as they sat down three tables over. To the naked eye, someone might not notice it, but I had personally been with Halion enough when they were trying to hide their drunken state. Part of me wondered how long they would last here before they would get kicked out. Wouldn’t be the first time they were ‘asked to leave’ as the waiters would put it.

I shot a quick glance over towards Halion as they sat at their table with what appeared to be groupies at their side. Like I said earlier, they were classic rockstars. My heart sunk as I recognized two of the faces of the girls who were draped over Halion’s shoulders. Despite the makeup she wore, covering her entire face, and the new clothing that left little to the imagination, I recognized her. No matter how much Betsy changed herself, I would still recognize her. It had only been a couple weeks since Guns N’ Roses took their gig, but even Cindy who was draped around the lead singer of Halion had changed too.

It was only for a moment, but when I locked eyes with Betsy my heart shattered into a million pieces.

I don’t know why the tears began to fight the dams I had built to keep them in.

Not here, I couldn’t cry here.

I couldn’t cry in front of Walter’s father because he would want to know why I was crying. If he had found out that I was a part of a band, he would evict me.

I shared a quick glance with Macy, who sent a concerned look my way. Not only were two member of Pixie here, but one of them was draped across my ex-boyfriend, someone who I foolishly believed could make my dreams come true.

I took a couple deep breaths before I spoke, excusing myself from the table and heading towards the nearest bathroom. I felt his eyes on me as I weaved through the restaurant. I felt Nyx’s bright blue eyes on me.

The moment the bathroom door closed behind me, shielding from the world, I leaned over the bathroom counter with only my hands supporting me.

I couldn’t tell what hurt worse, the fact that Betsy was draped around my ex-boyfriend or what she had turned herself into. Gone was the powerful kick ass drummer. She was reduced to nothing more than a groupie who barely wore clothing. I was honestly surprised that Cindy and her were let into the restaurant.

I internally cursed at myself when I heard the bathroom door open. I should have locked it. I looked over to see Betsy locking it behind her. It was clear she didn’t want us disturbed.

“What? Are you afraid that your new boyfriend will be walking in on us? You know it wouldn’t be the first time he walked into a woman’s restroom,” I snapped at her, keeping my voice hushed.

“When people asked you if he a tualy did that, you denied it!” Betsy shot back in a voice mimicking mine. I could tell that she wasn’t mad about that, but she was directing her anger through it anyway.

“Well of course I did. He would have broken up with me if I didn’t.”

“Ohh Michelle, you’re more pathetic that I thought you were,” I didn’t have to look at Betsy to know that she was rolling her eyes at me.

I couldn’t help the laughter that escaped my lips and now filled the bathroom.

“Me? Pathetic? He promised me that Pixie would open for them for their next tour!” I shot back. I knew I was acting like a totally bitch, but I didn’t care.

“Hmm, but we didn’t open for them.”

I looked over at her as she flashed a smirk at me.

“You’re a real fucking bitch.”

“I’m nothing compared to you,” she spat back, but now it was my turn to send a stupid smirk her way.

“Of course you are nothing compared to me. You never have been and you never would be,” I shot back.

Silence once again filled the bathroom. The only noise that could be heard was the muted conversations from the restaurant that was beyond a door. The conversations that felt like a world away.

I watched as Betsy slowly walked towards me and whispered into my ear, “Don’t forget that I know your dirty little secret. With only one sentence I can destroy EVERYTHING you have ever worked for. I’m currently dating Nyx, the bassist of Halion. I’m sure you’re familiar with how much sway he holds. All I have to do is whisper that one sentence into his ear, and you’re done. You think your name has been run through the mud before? Just wait until I’m finished with you! The funny thing is that people will believe anything I saw about you. Your reputation as a whore is already well known, so any little lie would be believable. Now the question is, do I start small with the little white lies or do I go straight to the big bombshell and work my way from there? Maybe I’ll start with Izzy, you two seem close. Trust me when I say that I will take great pleasure in watching your life crumble to pieces.”

I stood speechless as I watched her leave the bathroom, laughing.

Was this the beginning of the end? Was she really going to tell everyone that I was masquerading as a guy on Sunset Strip? Was she going to tell the world I was Duff?

With Nyx at her side, she had the power to destroy everything I had ever created. I once again held onto the bathroom countertop. Not only to help stop the shaking, but to make sure I wouldn’t collapse on the ground.

Bottom line I was fucked.

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