#but it literally ended with sam and bucky staring off into the sunset

[writer-monster]

11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

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1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

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2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

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3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

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4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

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5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

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6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

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7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

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8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

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9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

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10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

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11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

-

...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

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finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

#givecaptainamericaaboyfriend #meta #analysis #captain america 4 #caatws #fatws #tfatws #captain america #cap 4 #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #marvel #mcu #mcu phase 4

[misssharrington]

𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬

pairing || bucky barnes x oc!anastasia petrovna

warnings || fluffy fluff

word count || 536

summary || bucky is completely head over heels in love with his girlfriend

a/n || this is short but cute ;)

masterlist meet my oc's

everything about them is pink

i can't explain it, it just is

the have the same vibe of a pink sunset, or a pink bath with flower petals, or a pink tulip field

they're just pink people, okay

they're the softest people in the world, but they don't let anyone know it

anya would be talking to bucky in russian, and no one understands them, and automatically assumes she's plotting their death, when in reality

'i really like bruce's sweater, should i say something?'

bucky loves anya's height, it's definitely a thing for him

which she hates

she's very small, about five foot two, which she gets made fun of a lot. harmless teasing, but still pisses her off

it makes her job harder. assassins are meant to be tall, they aren't intimidating when they're small

but bucky absolutely loves it

he loves how small she is compared to his six foot self, he can just envelope her in his arms, completely surround her, and take her away from the world

anya loves bucky's laugh

because when she knew him, back in the red room, to even get a smile from him was a blessing

so his laugh? it sent waves indescribable emotion through her

and even years later, when they're both free from their captors, when bucky is no longer forced to be the soldat

and he laughs at something sam did, or a past memory with steve, anya still feels those exact emotions

and we've already been over her height

but ohmigod

bucky doesn't stop

yep, definitely a thing for him

when she's cold, he'll wrap her up in his coat (that he's still wearing, by the way), so she pokes her head out the middle buttons, all snug and warm together

when they're cuddling, he'll wrap himself around her like a literal koala bear, and trap her against him, so she can't go anywhere

and he loves to hold things out of her reach

sometimes for good reason, though

'bucky give me back the gun!'

'not until you stop shooting it at scott'

'i'm just playing!'

she loves his arm, which he detests

so she makes it her mission for him to know that she loves it, and every other part of him

she makes sure to give him small kisses on his arm whenever

makes sure that the metal arm is always the hand she holds

makes sure to sleep on his left side so she ends up holding on to his metal arm during the night

she also makes sure to show that arm some extra loving during their alone time if you know what i mean wink wink

except, she does everything to try and make sure that her two families, the avengers and the xmen, do not collide

she doesn't want erik seeing the metal arm. he wouldn't do anything (he's too afraid of her to use his powers on her boyfriend), he'd just be a smug dick about it

and the field day wade would have with metal arm sex jokes, while remy would try and make a bet to win the freaking arm

it's her worst nightmare

they like to braid each other's hair, and hug, and stare into each other's eyes, and just be close to each other as much as possible

making up for lost time

they don't talk about the past, they don't need to. they know they both loved each other and were just victims of very bad people, but now it was over, and they had the light at the end of their tunnel

they don't have nightmares when they're in each other's arms, which is why they have a need to be around each other so much, they bring each other peace

they rub oil into each other's scars, and spend their time kissing every single imperfection on their skin

to show how much they love them, their scars aren't marks of defeat, but badges of bravery, that should be worn proudly, not hidden

they work together. they make each other feel loved, happy, and right in this world. complete, like the sunset after a very long, hard day

and that's all they could ask for

#marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel x oc #marvel imagine #avengers x oc #avengers imagine #marvel headcanons #avengers headcanon #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #tfatws #tfatws bucky #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x oc #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky barnes x oc #marvel x reader #bucky barnes x reader

[captainsimagines]

To Topple A Giant || Finale

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 10 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings in this Chapter: strong language; slight reference to past sexual abuse; fluff 

Word Count: 6,700+

Author’s Note: Guys... the finale! I’m crying actual tears lmao. Thank you for reading my words. It means the world.

~

The New Compound, July 2025, 7:09pm

      The extra hour of sunlight this time of year was the easiest excuse to use for lounging on the roof to watch the sun set slowly. The compound no longer touches the clouds, but it still provides a rich view of the landscape across. There is no blowing of horns or shouts of the road hecklers; it’s a simple hour of solace to rest your chin against your arms, eat your snacks, and watch the sky change colors until nothing remains but the possibility of counting the stars. 

“Hey… can I sit here?”

Your heart does a little jump at the sound of his voice. Traitor, you want to say to the pesky organ, but remain quiet as Steve wanders over to stand by you. He’s close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from his body. 

“Do what you will, Captain.” It’s simple enough of a response, you figure. You look down at the granola bar in your hand, turning it over a few times before rolling your eyes at the silly gesture. “Granola bar?”

He nods, watching as you snap it in half, and grabs the piece. “Thanks.”

You eat in cooperative silence. You take small bites, saving the granola bar so you have something to focus on during the length of time Steve decides to stay up here. He seems to be doing the same. “So what brings you out here? Another depressive episode?”

“I happen to have the perfect amount of depressive episodes, thank you very much.”

You snort, “Ditto.”

He takes a small bite and rolls the granola over his tongue. “No, I uh… I actually came out here to watch the sunset.”

“That’s sweet.” You shrug and admit your reason to him without a second thought. “I came out here to be sad, so.”

“Thor’s visit isn’t doing you any good?”

Thor is genuinely looking better. He’s started braiding his hair again, exercising with the help of Quill and Bruce, and participating in conversation without being addressed first. Seeing him makes you happy, but there’s still a glint in his eyes that reminds you of the lowest point of his life. And his lowest point was also yours. Sometimes you just want to forget. “He looks better. Healthier, got some light back in his eyes. It’s just whenever we look at each other we think of the same thing, I guess.”

Steve hums low and his shoulder brushes yours. “Loki.”

“It’s good to reminisce and all but I’ve got my limits,” you say.

“What was the special connection between you and Loki anyway?”

You grin at such an innocent question. Steve had never been close to Loki, didn’t really like him much, but he tolerated the God wandering about. You figure he genuinely wants to know. “I met him a little bit before I was assaulted. Everyone in the compound had their suspicions but no one asked. It was like they were avoiding me but also trying to help, I don’t really know. It was a weird time. And Loki, after we caught that dragon thing and really, really properly met, just straight up asked me why I was so distant all of a sudden.” Your chest warms at the memory.  “I told him. And you know what the first thing he said to me was?”   

Steve shakes his head a little and his eyes follow the tilt of your mouth. “‘What a cunt’.”  

He startles himself into a laugh, the rough word not expected. You continue, “It was the first time I laughed in four months.”

Steve follows your gaze out to the sunset. He suddenly feels guilty, out of the loop, sad. You had only mentioned your assault to him once when you discovered Tony’s afterlife gifts, and he never brought it up again. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were-”

“Bucky had just moved into the tower and all of your attention was on him. I don’t blame you for not seeing me.”

It’s true, but Steve doesn’t forgive himself. He’s had two years to check up on you and because of his own selfish choice, he’s let you slip from his fingers. A question bubbles from the back of his mind — one that he doesn’t think twice about finally asking. If he does, he won’t ask.  “Do you miss… me?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Sam put the idea in my head and—”

You sigh, “Steve, it’s the fact that he had to put the idea in your head. I can lie and say I’ve been all fine and dandy, or I can tell the truth and say I’ve been all fine and dandy. Take your pick.”

Steve stares at you for a long moment, mouth parting around invisible words. You’re staring at the sunset, avoiding his gaze but aware of his eyes on you, and he misses you. He truly, terribly, misses you. He decides he’s got nothing more to lose — he’s already lost you. “Well, I miss you. Do with that what you will.”

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes: wind in your ears, legs shifting when too much weight has been applied, tiny sniffs of the nose. You don’t really know what to do with that information. Steve misses you. And you miss him. But he doesn’t deserve to know that. There’s been no apology from him, just things he’ll do to appease Sam. 

At the three minute mark, you groan quietly and turn to him. “Are you seriously still going to watch the sunset up here?”

Steve smirks and watches you from his peripheral. He really has missed being on the receiving end of your various tones of voices. “I have been told that I’m impossible to get rid of, so yeah.”

His company isn’t all that bad.  

Present Day, 2025, 9:07am

      Perhaps there were good things that came from being locked up for over two weeks, alone. Last time you were locked up with the team and there was absolutely no special treatment after that. Now you’re resisting the urge to burst out laughing as Steve piles on the seventh massive pancake on your plate; or rolling your eyes as Sam keeps asking if you want more maple syrup — ‘What flavor? We’ve got six!’ — and Peter’s drowning Bucky with questions about who he encountered at the wedding. 

“Is it the same as Netflix Narcos?”

“No,” you say bluntly. 

“Is the Amazon series legit? Like, did Omar really kill the DEA agent?”

“No.”

“Is Omar as evil as they say?”

“No.”

“Damn,” Peter groans, piling a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. “Nothing’s as exciting as it seems, huh?”

Everyone looks to him, then to each other.

Steve clears his throat, “I was literally shot.”

Mouth full, you follow. “And I was abused for years.”

“And I had to deal with them while with HYDRA,” Bucky says with his mouth full too.

“Man, they shot at me. That counts,” Sam adds.

“And I finally got to use the shield. While being shot at,” Scott says.

You interject, “Technically I was being shot at.”

Even with such a cloud of violence, with gruesome memories — memories that would just be shoveled into the pile of things that no one is ever going to talk about again  — you all begin laughing. Poor Peter missed out on a lot, but he can put two and two together. He knows this is his only chance to ask before you all lock it away and call it just another mission. It doesn’t hurt to humor him. 

And even though you won’t mention it to any one else unless they ask — this wasn’t just another mission for you or Steve. Things have changed and the both of you know it. The aches within your chest are no longer negative or a bother, but instead are blooming flowers that have laid dormant for years. You’ve been plucking petals for as long as the two of you can remember, and it’s about damn time you both end up on the same page. 

Everything has been quiet. Sure, there are bounties on everyone’s head but when is there not? You’ve pissed off more cartel leaders and gang leaders and political enemies than you can count on two hands, so this enemy territory is not all that foreign. You recognize the high trees, the gray skies, the mud beneath your boots. But you’ve got friends on your team that know how to climb those trees; friends on your team that know how to move the clouds and make the sky the talk; friends on your team that would hump through mud and snow watching your six. 

You can’t believe you even thought about leaving after the mission in the first place. This is where you belong, where all of you belong, because you’re the only ones with good hearts who qualify for the job. 

As breakfast winds down, Steve takes the opportunity to sprinkle in moments of long-awaited public displays of affection. When you go to refill your orange juice, he sneaks a kiss on your cheek. When you go to wash your plate, he makes sure Peter is looking the other way before patting your ass. And when you’re the one to envelope his slim waist from behind, he melts in your combined warmth.  

“So, about our date,” Steve inquires, cheeks turning pink but voice unwavering. He looks brand new, refreshed, and there’s a shine in his eyes that you haven’t seen since forever. You can’t remember the last time you have, but you figure it must have been back when the world hadn’t yet swallowed him whole. Now, he’s burning bright with the youth his soul has missed. 

You jump up and down, “Ooo, exciting!”

Steve takes you by the waist, swinging you in every direction. It’s uncoordinated, messy, and not exactly dancing but it’s pure. “Chinese? Pizza? Just fries?”

“¿Por qué no los tres?” Pursing your lips, you wait for his answer. 

“That can be arranged.”

You gasp dramatically, “You’re spoiling me.”

“Well I have two years to make up for it.”

That startles a laugh from deep inside your chest. “That’s gonna be our inside joke now, huh? Two of the worst years of our lives and we’re joking about it.”

He blushes along with you. “I think that describes our relationship perfectly.”

“Our relationship…” Your voice comes out like a melodic whisper and Steve feels it in his bones.

He grins down at you but before he can respond, someone enters the common room rather cautiously. 

“Oh, now what the hell are you doing here?” Steve demands, pushing you to stand behind him. The gesture is nice, but completely unnecessary. Friday would have alerted the team if someone entered the grounds armed. 

Agent Kavert raises his hands, “Relax. I’m not here to arrest you or anything.”

Steve tries to move his shoulders in a way where Agent Kavert can’t see your head. But you maneuver around him, somehow ending up peeking your head through Steve’s underarm. “If I know the law, and I think I do, you can’t really arrest someone in their own house anyway, right?” You pat Steve repeatedly on his side. “Right?”

Before Steve can respond, Agent Kavert speaks. With Steve guarding you, it seems the only thing Agent Kavert wants to do is get in and get out as fast as he can. “I just came to apologize. Ballistics came back and the evidence does show that you didn’t kill Ernesto Vega. It was Ramirez’s issued gun.”

Yeah, you think. The gun Seda stole.

“Oh, what a breath of relief! I almost forgot I was there.”

He sighs and his lips pull into a small smile. “You’re not gonna tell me where Ramirez is, huh?”

Steve takes this as his cue to leave you two alone, but not before squeezing your hand on his way out. He nods over to Peter, who’s still crouching in the kitchen, unseen by Kavert. Peter gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up,  happy to spy for his Captain. But you know he’s really asking Peter to take care of you while he’s gone.  

You let out a heavy sigh. Omar has been wanted for years for another murder he didn’t even commit. And now, he’s wanted for another. He may be a giant with morals, but even he can’t escape the gruesome reality that plagues the wicked. 

“I don’t even know where he is. If you came looking for answers—”

“No, I just… Everything’s been so fucked up since half the universe came back. And the possibility of an Avenger being bad, having played us for years — I think it just scared a lot of people.” Agent Kavert actually looks sincere. He adjusts his footing and chuckles a little under his breath. There’s a fine line creasing his forehead, but it isn’t formed from stress. He’s smiling, an honest look, and his eyebrows pull inward. “And Shakespeare? Really?”

Rolling your eyes, you shrug and lean back against the counter. “When half the world disappears and takes your family and friends with it, there’s really not much else to do.” 

And besides, Loki was really into Shakespeare.

You continue, deciding at the last second to throw Agent Kavert a bone about your past. “Shield didn’t know but Nick Fury did. So did Pierce. And when Shield fell, Fury just hid it even more.” You give him a half smile. “We weren’t helping the cartel. We were slowly taking it apart.”

Agent Kavert nods, thinking it over. “The deal Jackeline made with us was pretty simple. She’d tell us all the inside secrets that she knew and in exchange, no charges against her and none so serious for you.”

Your shoulders slump and you shoot him a blank stare. “Was it really that simple? Like, I could have just used her as my one free call?”

“Joke all you want. You should have called us when Shield fell. The double agent thing was risky and everyone needs help taking down a giant like that.”

“I did have help. Involving more people was never planned.”

“He was just as much our mission as he was yours.”

Agent Kavert, as sorry as he looks, still doesn’t seem to get it. But that’s fine, you think. Not everyone can. And you’re not in the mood to argue anymore. “No… he wasn’t.”

He seems to read your mind because he simply accepts your answer. “I really am sorry for accusing you. And for the government arresting you alone and letting the white man go free.”

A tiny snort tickles your nostrils. Agent Kavert is white, and it’s even more amusing considering he’s being serious. “Thanks… I guess.”

He turns to leave, seemingly normal, until he spins on his heel and claps his hands. “Oh! And by the way — don’t leave the country. The charges of conspiracy and murder have all been dropped. But there’s evidence of drug smuggling. So, you’re on house arrest.”

Your eyes widen and you reply with a sarcastic yell. “Thanks!” He turns to leave again. “You’re fucking with me, right?”

He glances over his shoulder, “Could not have let you just get away with it. Some of that smuggling was under no order from Shield at all.”

“You know I can easily disable that ugly ass ankle bracelet you’re about to give me?”

He chuckles low, and finally waves goodbye. “Goodbye, Agent Y/LN.”

You stand dumbfounded, slightly annoyed, but you figure it’s better than actual jail time. Peter rises from his hiding spot and walks over to you, blowing air from his mouth. “Friend of yours?”

You whip around to point a finger, scream and laugh mixing into one. “No friend!”

Peter finally hears that accent Steve can’t stop talking about.

       It’s a tiny portrait, sealed in a tiny frame and hidden in a tiny room. The frame is black with professional wooden carvings that make the sides look like perfectly detailed tree trunks. It’s in between the portrait of Tony and Natasha’s bracelet. Tony wears the same AC/DC shirt Steve has somehow stolen and claimed as his own. He’s got this sarcastic grin, some type of wrench in one hand while his other rests on his hip. He stands in his lab, glasses pushed up onto his head and black soot smudged on his cheek. You think Peter snapped the photo back in 2017. 

But the middle portrait is your favorite. It’s the only photo he ever allowed to be taken of him. Brushing your index finger against the glass, you trace the small outlines of Loki’s jawline, to his thin pink lips, to the bulb of his nose, to the waves of his hair. He sits caught off guard, book in his hand and in regular human clothing. He shoots a rather annoyed but joyful look over his shoulder as the camera was shoved in his face. You know for sure Wanda took that photo.

“You’re not dead,” you say as you study the blue of his frozen eyes. A God doesn’t die, you remember him saying. Loki was wrong about a lot of things, but you pray he wasn’t wrong about this. There’s a small part of you that wants to speak the same words to Tony and Natasha, but there’s only so many times the world’s axis can shift for a miracle. You tap the glass, sighing a breath of acceptance, and finally let go. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Smiling up at the ceiling, you think you’re right about this one.

      It’s quiet. The only sounds are the mild ripping of wrapping paper and small ‘thank you’s’ from the team. Everyone got each other something — granted, everyone got something small for everyone. No matter how much Tony joked about still splurging on Christmas shopping, his promises weren’t exactly kept. He’s gotten everyone things they actually need or wanted. Steve, a new drawing pad; Natasha, a bright pink knit sweater; Rhodey, a new watch; Bruce, a pair of sunglasses; Nebula, a dark blue knitted sweater that she immediately presses against her cheek, eyes focused on the ground as she savors the soft brush; you, the full collection of Shakespeare's plays and sonnets. And he finally presents the baby’s crib to Pepper, constructed three weeks after she originally asked him to. 

“I know how much you like to reenact A Midsummer Night’s Dream in your room,” Tony grins at you. Biting your bottom lip, you throw yourself at him and hug him tight. He returns the hug with just as much strength, if not more. 

As the night goes on and midnight rings, your small group exchanges tight-lipped merry Christmas’s and happy holidays. Natasha retires to her room, a distant look in her eyes as she says goodnight. No one knows where Clint is.

Steve nudges your elbow with his once the room empties. He holds out a box with festive wrapping — snowmen with carrots for noses and a variety of pebbled smiles. “From me and Okoye.”

“You got me a gift?”

Steve’s brow furrows as he nods like it’s obvious. “Of course. You’re my friend.”

“Well, now I feel inadequate,” you laugh. It comes out wet and it’s then that you realize you’re tearing up. “I promise to reenact Midsummer for you, okay?”

Steve chuckles, “You got it.”

You unwrap it slowly, half wondering why Steve and Okoye teamed up to get you a present. You. Your stomach churns an innocent whirl. 

It’s a long sleeved vest… or sweater. You can’t really tell until you pull it from the box. It’s intricately designed and it takes a moment for you to finally see it, to finally understand, and the moment you do you exhale a wracked breath. 

It’s not Wakandan fashion. It’s threaded with the colors and swirls of a place you haven’t called home in years. It has red flowers down the vest portion and multicolored rows down the sleeves and back. It’s made from a thick fabric that’s rarely used this century. Vintage — home.

“Steve…”

Steve clears his throat, “Now, I only did the flower parts. Okoye found it unfinished in… um…”

And there, where tags from brands would usually be, is a small threaded engraving. 

‘From Bucky, To our muñeca.’

“He didn’t get to finish it so I thought I would — you know, help? — so it’s really from Buck. Probably an apology for not letting you visit him in Wakanda.”

Steve tries to push out a laugh at his poor joke, but you can see how he’s faltering. You reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, dragging him down so his knees bend, and pour as much nonverbal thank you’s into the hug. He hesitates at first, arms floating awkwardly, until he swallows his fear and wraps his arms around your waist. He holds you to him tightly and breathes in the sweet scent of your vanilla shampoo. 

“Thank you.” Your voice is small, but Steve regards the delivery as powerful.

You wear it once, that Christmas night, enveloped in its warmth as you slept. In the morning, you hang it in the back of your closet. 

        A knock on your bedroom door sounds through your headphones. Bucky peeks his head in, “Is now a bad time?”

Sitting up, you pull the headphones from your ears. “Nope. Just thinking about how I’ve lived several years in the span of one week.”

Bucky lugs in a sports bag in one hand and a manila file in the other. He places them at the edge of your bed and proceeds to bounce in the available space near you. “Yeah, that can be annoying.”

You attempt to shove him away as he tries to steal your blanket. “Did you need anything?”

“Yeah.” He lets you take it, and simply turns on his side to face you. “What’s gonna happen between you and Steve?”

It’s an innocent question, but you know Bucky well enough to notice when he’s stressed. Steve probably told him to mind his business. “We’re good.”

He inspects your face with squinted eyes, “I know what you’re thinking so cut that shit out. This isn’t one of those missions where the feelings will just go away.”

“Funny thing is, I believe you,” you admit, watching as his face does something unexpected. His smile drops suddenly, like he didn’t expect you to agree with him, and then it’s immediately back full force. 

“Peggy and Steve - right person, wrong time. You and Loki - right person, wrong time. You and Steve, all those years ago — right person, wrong time.” A weird thing happens: you agree with him again. “But now, after everything — right person, right time.”

“It’s just weird feeling like it’ll actually work.”

“That makes us seem like we’re all broken, doll. We’re not.”

You turn so you’re facing him; two mismatched parentheses. “We’re just tired.”

“We’re just tired,” Bucky agrees, smiling. “I’m not saying don’t look over your shoulder whenever you feel like it. Hell, I still look over mine.”

Snorting, you roll closer to hug him. He pulls you into his chest. “You give amazing pep talks.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why they gave that trophy to Steve.” Bucky shares the intimate moment for as long as it takes before the blanket starts overheating. He groans as he sits up to retrieve the things he brought with him.  “By the way, our mutual friend sends one last warm regards.”

Bucky throws the sports bag onto your lap. “What’s this?”

“Your shit.”

You don’t even want to ask him how he packed your things without your knowledge. “Kicking me out, Barnes?”

“Clothes, toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner, pads, the quilt I just finished knitting thank you very much,” Bucky lists and hands you the file. “Maribel found him.”

“Ramirez?”

“Your dad.” 

You snap your head up to look at him. Bucky expects to see anger, hurt, maybe even betrayal. He was prepared for it. But you just look confused, lost for words, maybe even scared. “Goes by Richard these days. Lives with his wife in Wisconsin, no kids, keeps to himself.” 

You flip through the files, holding your breath. The file is small, Richard’s information only covering the first page, the rest just drabble. He seems relatively normal, looks normal even; normal job, normal credit score, normal upbringing. It doesn’t even seem real. You close the file and set it aside. “So you are sending me away?”

Bucky smirks, “It’s a suggestion. But I took the liberty of doing the hard part for you.”

“Yeah, because packing my lady products is the climax of this story.”

It didn’t go unnoticed that Bucky called Richard your ‘dad’. Everyone either referred to Ernesto as ‘your father’ or by his name. Steve had said ‘dad’ a few times before he met him, then he never said it again. Hell, even you did sometimes. 

It’s a sweet distinction and you’re certain Bucky said it on purpose. Bucky takes your hands in his, “It’s been a long time coming. But at least we can both say that the people who hurt us can’t hurt us any longer.” 

You can. You really can.

       Bucky’s already packed Steve’s shit as well. Steve’s just shoving extra socks into his bag when someone knocks on the door. He expects Bucky or Sam, final words of encouragement, but it’s Scott. And he’s standing there grinning like a mad man. 

“So, what’s the verdict, Rogers? You going after her or not?”

Steve huffs a laugh, “Think you already know the answer to that, Lang.”

Scott closes the door behind him and leans back against it. He shoves his hands in his sweater pockets, “Not that it should matter, shut me up if I cross any line, but everyone supports this.”

“Weirdly, I think it does matter. We’ve had you guys picking sides for two years. Selfishly. Like we were having a fucking civil war after everything.”

“Yeah, well.” 

Steve huffs a laugh. It’s always going to surprise him just how comfortable Scott is around him now. Not afraid to tease him or call him out on something he doesn’t agree with. It’s refreshing.

“I’m not giving up on her, Scott. Not again.”

Scott nods. Perhaps breaking the mission ethic code wasn’t a bad thing after all, Scott thinks. He gives Steve a proud smile, genuine. “Then I hereby declare our hanging conversation officially closed.”

        Steve wanders from his bedroom, to the conference room, to the main living room without an end destination in mind, seeming to just follow his quick feet as they lead him around the halls of the compound. He’s proud of himself, really, because he truly believes he’s learned to swallow his pride, has opened himself up to the possibility of being happy, and accepted that the world has changed and will continue to alter whether he likes it or not. He was, is, and will always be a man out of time — he’ll never fit but goddamn does he feel settled. He hasn’t felt this sane since before the war — which one? — so he relishes in the feeling for a few calm seconds. 

He feels tears well-up on his water line and feels the pressure in his temples. He’s at a crossroads — both proud of himself for finally choosing the path he wants and relieved that this week, this mission he has dreaded for almost ten years, is over. He doesn’t know if he should sleep for a month or occupy his time with other things awaiting repair. A build up of five years, grief and loss and happiness all weirdly mixed into one pot, and Steve simply hasn’t noticed the improper portions of each ingredient. 

It’s too much.

He thinks about his mental health. Shot to Hell, he jokes with himself. He’s already got the virtual therapy appointments scheduled. He figures he’ll get better with time and if Steve knows one thing for sure, it’s that he’s got a whole lot of that.

He thinks about Sam and Bucky and Scott — his three best friends that have gone to the ends of the Earth and back for him, and who would proudly do it all over again. He thinks about their kind words, their gentle touch, their devotion that Steve still sometimes feels he doesn’t deserve. 

And he thinks about you. To anyone else, this was written in the damn stars. No, there wasn’t anything extremely obvious in the first few years. You were friends. Friends that grew to consider each other teammates. Teammates that drew a drop of blood while fighting on opposite sides. Teammates that recognized the true endgame, teammates that helped each other escape, teammates that went silent for two years. Two years of no contact, no signal of survival. Then again, teammates who stood by as their world crumbled around them. Teammates who grew to be friends again, leaning on free shoulders and seeking help through happy conversations and long nights. Friends that brought the world together again, only to rip each other from their own. Friends into the most bizarre of enemies. And enemies back to teammates. 

Steve wipes a hand down his face as he fixes the strap over his shoulder. The common room is empty — he likes it this way. That means everyone is either napping, getting food, visiting friends or family, simply living life. The silence is therapeutic. 

His eyes fall on a crooked picture frame near the television. He tries to ignore it, almost to the door and ready for another road trip, but he steps back. Then forward, then back again. He groans in frustration of himself and moves to turn the frame back in place, holding it for a few seconds until it stays. But as he lets go, it tilts once more. He tries again — it tilts back. 

He pulls the frame from the hook and turns it over. He rightly freezes, the presence of a small pink paper airplane taped near the edge knocking the wind from his constricting lungs. He pulls it off, careful to not tear the delicate post-it. 

He never found it. Natasha probably placed it behind this very picture frame in the other compound for him to find. Surely the explosion should have destroyed it — but it didn’t. It’s right here, perfectly intact, just a smudge of dirt on one of its wings. The frame hadn’t been damaged either. It’s real. 

He holds the thin piece of paper like it’s the most precious thing in the world. 

Steve turns it over between his fingers a few more times, before he carefully folds it back in half and puts it in his wallet. “You’ve got some nerve, Nat. But I hear ya.”

       Steve decides to write you back. He hides the letter in that sweater he knows you don’t wear anymore, in the far back of your closet, and marvels at the intricate stitching while he can. He poured his heart out, even if it’s not guaranteed you’ll ever see it. 

     ‘Yes, I found your letter. I found it when I was looking for perfume in your suitcase. The tape was loose and I violated your privacy. I’m truly sorry for that. 

But I felt compelled to write you back, in case the reverse happened and I died instead of you. I didn’t write it then, when you were drying your hair in front of that impossibly small mirror you so weirdly called ‘a stupid little bitch’. And you looked so beautiful. But I’m writing it now and maybe I’ll share it with you in person when we’re both ready.      

When the world turned to dust, I held on to you. I know exactly why. Natasha bugged me about it also, teasing me whenever I would glance at you too long, or give you the last remaining Oreos I was planning on eating, or whenever I would leave your room in the mornings after a nightmare. She knew nothing was happening between us, but she had this smile whenever she caught me. Like she was happy I was comforting you, and in turn seeking comfort for myself. 

You remember how her smile would tilt up more on the left side? 

There isn’t a proper way to truly apologize for hurting you. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it. You at least deserve that. 

I returned a different man. And I think that was for the better.

Yes, I wanted the quiet life. I still think I do. And I think you know this — you have always seen right through me.      

I now know what Natasha saw. You irritate me, you damn near make me want to choke myself out, but I care for you. We hold each other up, and I’m always rooting for you, and I’m always by your side. No matter how annoying and smart-mouthed you may be.      

You’re my best friend — I hope I’m one of yours.

Steve.’

       There’s no one currently in the compound who really knows how to change the battery in your car. Bucky tries, does a rather good job too, but he claims he’s winging it and that you should call a mechanic just in case. He leaves you there with two random batteries on the ground, hood of your car open, and without any idea of what to do next. So you chill and wait for the mechanic you hope isn’t going to jack up the price just because he knows who you are. 

But he doesn’t seem fazed by you at all — or at the fact he just had to drive through countless checkpoints and security checks just to get on Avengers property. He changes the battery and changes the oil, hooking you up with as many upgrades he can. He even offers to wash it until you thank him repeatedly and that Really, really, you don’t have to do that. Thank you so much!

“Quite a garage you got here.”

There are unfinished projects and random wires falling from the ceiling and enough tools to supply five garages. It’s messy, but it was Tony’s. You accept the compliment and see him out. 

“Eh, make sure those windshield wipers work. I hear it’s gonna rain tomorrow.”

You thank him again. The clouds to the west are gray, getting darker as the expanse stretches, but from where you’re standing everything’s blue. You figure the mechanic was right: it’s gonna rain, and it’s gonna rain hard. 

The mechanic did good, all things considered. You never thought your old, beat-up Honda could look a few years younger. You flick one of the wipers lightly, testing its strength. It holds, as does the other, but when you go to lift it up it stops halfway. Without wanting to break it, you don’t force it. There’s something blocking the switch. 

You grab it before it can accidentally fall into a deep slot; the figurehead of a man, curly hair and beard that matches Steve’s, who also has a prominent and strong nose. You turn the coin over a few times before looking around the garage, down the street, at the remote area where the mechanic has just left. Standing there, mouth agape, you wonder just how in the world you missed the mechanic placing it there.

You were lacking in the spy department nowadays. Oops.

You know you’re not going to find Ramirez. But him giving this back to you? It was his way of saying he’s alright and that he owes you many thanks. 

You pocket the coin and accept the fact you just got bested.

It should take a few hours before you hit the first motel. Wisconsin isn’t that far, but you do have to pass through about hundred “middle of nowhere’s”. You pull out of the garage and check your mirrors — completely unaware of the super soldier running full speed to the passenger door. Steve carefully throws it open, somewhat aware of his strength, and lands into the seat beside you.

You hit the brakes hard. “Oh my! Rogers!”

Steve sucks in a few heavy breaths, like he literally ran across the compound to make it. “What? I startle you?”

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing? Aren’t you on house arrest?”

You squint at him, “Touche.” Putting the car in park, you turn your whole body to face him. “Answer my question.”

“Thought you were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?” Steve asks, expression much more teasing than serious.

“I’ll be gone for three days tops,” you say, waving your hand in the air. Steve smiles at you, seemingly waiting for you to speak again. You roll your eyes, “You’re coming with me, aren’t you?”

Steve lifts up the small duffel bag you hadn’t seen when he first got into the car. He throws it into the backseat and smiles lovingly at you. “I’ve been told that I’m impossible to get rid of, so yeah.”

“Rhodey said that the ankle bracelet they gave me wasn’t a trusted model. Easy to break off, like they did it on purpose.” You lean toward him, holding your chin up with the palm of your hand. “Should be able to drive free for a few weeks before they suspect anything.”

“Already booked us a cabin for Thanksgiving.”

“What makes you think that I even want you to accompany me on this road trip? Did you like the first one?”

Steve clears his throat and mimes like he’s writing on paper. The next words out of his mouth make your legs turn cold. “No matter how annoying and smart-mouthed you may be, there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than here, there, and everywhere with you.”

You blink multiple times, as if that would fix your ears. “...You. Fucking. Didn’t.” Steve reaches over to try and hug you. “No, don’t.” He squeezes harder, smooshing your face in his chest. “Steeeeve!”

“It fell out of your suitcase during the mission and I just… looked,” Steve reasons. He allows you to escape his grip.

“You just looked?”

Steve sighs. He really does look guilty. He pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his fingers tickle your skin. “I’m sorry I read it. I’ll get out of this car for real if you want me to.”

You arch an eyebrow, “You’re a little shit, but I’m not mad. No one understands privacy these days.”

Steve smiles wide enough for his dimples to pop and his eyes to crinkle. “I’d follow you anywhere, doll.”

“Anywhere?”

“Just name it.”

Humming low, you lean forward. He follows your direction like you’re a lighthouse beaming with light, capturing your lips with his in a sweet kiss. He hooks a large hand behind your head to press you to him harder. You smell like that vanilla scented shampoo he loves so much and feels his heart constrict with a pleasant pulse. 

You pull back for air and smile against Steve’s soft lips. 

“Well, I’m headed for the middle of buttfuck Wisconsin—”

“Just drive!”

Bursts of laughter fill the car until you’re past the checkpoints and well onto the long roads. The clouds continue to turn darker but they’re inviting, alluring, and it’s not insane that both of you desire thunderstorms because they remind you of family. 

Steve watches you from the passenger seat, memorizing the contours and edges of your profile. The roots in his heart begin spreading again; the meat of his heart filling with a soothing promise that his time on earth is no longer rootless. He’s dug his feet in, he’s watered all he’s needed to water, and he feels it spreading within him like newly blossomed flowers in the spring. He has a sudden urge to take out his drawing pad to immortalize the way your mouth tilts higher up on the right side when you smile, to record it forever. 

But he’ll remember it. He’ll remember well into this timeline, several years down the road, and even when he’s resting in his grave. So he leans his head back against the seat and chooses to watch the curves of every expression you grace him with. He immortalizes the sound of your voice, the taps of your fingers against the steering wheel, and the accented way you say his name. 

There’s a long drive ahead, but he’s excited for it. He’s excited for you. Steve promises himself that he’ll ask you a million questions, and give you a million answers, and share a million more stories. 

Right now, he just needs to sleep.

~

THE END.

Taglist: @dumb-ass-3 @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise​ @missnighttigress​

#captainsimagines #Steve Rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #reader x steve rogers #avengers fanfic #avengers x reader #marvel fanfiction #chapter ten #to topple a giant #to topple a giant finale #avengers mob fanfic #by Moni

[stillwaitingformagic]

While I was a bit disappointed that Sam and Bucky split up for most of the final fight in Ep6, in the last minute we got two SamBucky hugs??? (Not to mention before that it looks like Bucky tied up all his loose ends wherever he was living so I headcanon the fact that he has now moved in with the Wilsons).

In the first one Bucky literally lowers his head so his chin is on Sam's shoulder???? While the camera angle is a little awkward its still so goddamm sweet and soft ahhhhhhhhh Thank you so much for this Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Mr. Camera man and whoever else was involved. I will treasure this moment forever.

In the second one they just finished staring off into the sunset together, which is Very Much Heterosexual *cough* not *cough* then they turn around to walk away and Sam pulls Bucky into a side hug???? Which is both super casual and sweet especially when you see that Sam's hand starts on Bucky's left shoulder, and then Sam must realize that they aren't close enough because then his hand migrates to his right shoulder and pulls him in.

I will never forgive marvel for blurring that last moment.

Also can we please talk about this scene?

In episode 5 Sarah's kids were running away from Bucky, but here they're actively playing with him??? I love this so much, and I WILL be coming for those fanfics on ao3.

It would've been nice to see Bucky flirting with Sam and/or Sarah, Bucky moving into the Wilsons house and changing his name to Bucky Buchanan Barnes Wilson, Bucky coming out officially as bi, and another look at Sam using his gorgeous wings (are they vibranium?) but I'm happy with what we got.

Anyways, this 1 minute clip at the end in addition to the 17 minute clip of Sam and Bucky fixing the boat I have saved on my phone should be enough serotonin to get me through the rest of the quarantined summer.

#fatws #sam Wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #fatws spoilers #fatws episode 6 #fatws clips #fatws series #bucky #fatws bucky #sam #captain america #fatws sam #mine #no major spoilers #just hugs and serotonin #bucky/sarah #sarah wilson #Sarah Wilson's kids #I forget their names #overall this was a good amount of serotonin #it's also 5am and I need to sleep bc I have an exam coming up later in the evening please don't hold my 5am ramblings against me

[mylovelookup]

Not even a week after the season’s finale and the fandom is feeling attacked lol. Honestly, after more than 10 years watching the evolution of the MCU the pattern has always been clear, in interviews during the promotions of their movies/series they’d always offer messy and ambiguous answers that are meant to confuse anyone who is reading because at the end of the day this franchise is an immense business that solely capitalizes on holding the attention of as many people as possible by entertaining their fantasies about the heroes they grow attached to. Obviously they can’t do that if they deliver statements that may divide the crowds, and consequently lose the interest of a good chunk of people. 

This time the director didn’t really say anything that would particularly deny nor confirm the idea of Sambucky and it’s fine because she probably has no idea either (because she directed the series but has not written the script herself) or if she does, she’s simply not allowed to say anything about it. And Marvel people always lie, even the actors themselves lie.

This is not to say that Sambucky will go canon because, I, myself, am careful to not hold too much hope to that idea since, again, this is a franchise that has disappointed a lot of people before and for the same reasons. But do not trust the interviews because they formulate answers that are meant to sound prolific but end up essentially saying nothing at all.

Remember they’re growing as characters and they’re developing their relationship in a way that the mcu never did for any pairing be it a romatical one or not(remember Bruce/Natasha? Bc I do and I was more suprised about them than Steve picking up Thor’s hammer in Endgame). No, they’re not gonna kiss tomorrow (maybe even never) but it’s fine to hold a tiny breadcumb of hope.

//I don’t know why people act as if Sambucky just simply does not exist and cannot exist because as far as I’m concerned Sambucky is already canon. They are not a ship meant to be sailed, I mean they were before, when the amount of time they spent in the same shot was close to nothing, but you have to be wilfully blind to ignore all the tropes they decided to shove down our throats. I mean who in this fandom asked for them to roll down a hill? To have a couple’s therapy session with their thighs interlocked? To watch bucky shamelessly try to show off how strong he is to an unimpressed Sam? To know Bucky practically dislikes anyone who even dares to look at Sam? Did anyone ask that? Hell, no one could’ve even imagined it, let alone predict all of that. All I actually wanted was some cute friendly banter between Sam and Bucky because that would’ve been anough after being parched that long for the sheer lack of interactions BUT THEY GAVE US ALL OF THAT. And for what? To end up denying any romanticization between those two? After SAM AND BUCKY STARED AT THE SUNSET TOGETHER WHILST SMILING LIKE FOOLS? 

AND SOMEHOW, WE’RE THE CRAZY ONES???

Dude, literally all I wanted was to see Sam introduce Bucky to Starbucks.

#sambucky #sam wilson #The falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #bucky barnes #mcu #marvel #sorry for the poor grammar but I'm too sleepy to care about correcting any of this #everytime I'm on tumblr I'm sleepy #anyways #i have issues with this show #that I'll probably elaborate in another post #but the thing i have absolutely no issues with #is sambucky

[lucyhalearchive]

Goodbye (N.R.)

Will I ever write a happy Natasha fic? Probably not. I’ve been gone for a while because I got into my dream school, and I’ve been moving in, buying supplies, and just a few other things. 

I’ve also been saving a few drafts of fics so that way if I am busy this semester, I can still post for you guys. We’re really close to 100, too!!

Thank you so much, everyone <3

Warnings: descriptive injury, mentions of disassociation, depression, blood, death??? (I put quotes because this may or may not end on a cliff hanger).

Word Count: 1.6k 

Summary: You need to tell Natasha goodbye before leaving

You wake up to the same white ceiling with the same brown trimming, and you wonder if it will ever be different one day; when you open your eyes, it’ll be a brown, wooden ceiling instead of the dotted popcorn currently resting there. You refuse to push yourself out of bed, so instead you turn to your side to make eye contact with your alarm clock missing: Natasha. A group of you were out on another scouting mission trying to find another stolen piece of technology, and you had been bunking with her whenever you decided to settle down from traveling. 

You ponder on the idea of just staying in your bed until someone realizes that you’re not present. Then again, would they? You begin to dwell on the swarming negativity that planted itself in your mind. Would your team notice your absence, and would they even care? Would they come out and look for you? Would they mourn you?

You sit up in the bed hurriedly, trying to push the thoughts away. Usually when you spiral like this, you can quite literally shake them off of your skin, but you know they will come back later to bite you in the ass. The breeze pushes past the small, shortened curtains on the windows on either side of a wooden door that leads out into the neighborhood street, and you start to pull the light brown sheet closer to you when you see Steve run past where you reside. 

“Time to get up. We have to get moving.” He says in passing, hand hitting against the doorframe, and it causes you to flinch. Maybe they did notice after all. The second your legs swing over the bed and hit the floor, everything seems to move in slow motion; almost as if you’re walking through sludge. You believe that if Steve were to run by again, his voice would become distorted. 

Walking out into the field nearby, a place you all were using for meetups, sparing, and anything that could be useful in your current situation, you bask and relish in the softness that the air holds. The sun still hits your skin and warms it like a blanket fresh from the dryer, but the wind cools you down immediately after. In the distance, you can see Steve and Sam talking while pointing over the horizon as Natasha simply stands closer to a cliff, seemingly deep in thought. 

“Good. You’re here. We’re heading out in about five minutes, so get ready.” Sam fills you in the rest of the way, but your mind keeps wandering to the dangers that have stumbled upon you; how you’ve kept yourself alive. Alive for your mother. Alive for the cat Bucky is currently watching over. Alive for Natasha. Speaking of which, you give Sam a curt nod and head over to her. 

“You alright?” You question, placing yourself right beside Natasha, staring out onto the horizon. Sheep graze, never stopping, and birds circle the sky looking for any stragglers. Natasha takes a deep breath before turning her body to you slightly, never taking her eyes off the sheep. 

“I’ve just been thinking about the future recently, but the past still finds its way in there.” She pulls her hands behind her back and lays one arm on top of the other, a military stance, almost. 

“Our future?” You ask, full of hope because you often thought of what life would be like if you knew that Natasha would be there forever, in every waking moment. She shakes her head. 

“What my life would be like if I went back and changed the past.” She finishes, finally looking at you. She slips her hand over your left cheek, and her thumb glides over the surface. You know of her past. You know that she wishes a million choices could be reversed or changed. You know how horribly it pains and haunts her sometimes, and you wish you could fix it. You put your hand over hers and smile; a sad grin flashes over her face, and you wonder what she’s planning. 

“Let’s move.” Sam shouts out from his position, and before Natasha even begins to move to meet up with them, she places a long kiss on your forehead. Almost as if she is savoring the kiss. 

You give one last look to the long fall from the cliff to the plains beneath, and a familiar urge bubbles up from your chest. However, you four don’t have to worry about traveling far because a group, or a small army, really, shows themselves as they push above the hill, and Steve clenches his jaw. 

“I hear that you four are trying to find this.” The thief reveals Tony’s device that you still had no idea what it was. It’s a small, spherical device that lights up when touched. 

“We don’t want any trouble. We just want the device.” Sam steps forward slightly in front of Steve, much to his displeasure. Natasha copies his movements and places herself in front of you. 

“Yes, a device that I intend to keep safe and away from you.” The accent slips through to your ears, and he sends his followers after you all. Usually, you’re calm in moments such as these, and not long ago, you were begging Steve to let you go out on missions such as these. Now, your body is tensing at the sight of the large army barreling towards just the four of you, but you know that you could all fend them off easily. 

As you quickly snap the wrist of some poor soldier who tried to sneak up behind you, your eyes shift to your friends, checking in on them. Steve and Sam are holding their own, but also helping each other out, and Natasha is effortlessly taking down a few soldiers. Nonetheless, you notice a few of them preparing to team up on her, so you rush over, pushing yourself in front of Natasha. 

Again, everything around you became distorted, walking through sludge. The piercing, burning pain of a sharp, metal spear pushes through your skin and onto the ground beneath, holding your body in place; you don’t let out a scream, just a grunt of displeasure. Every alarm bell that is supposed to be ringing is silent, and your life plays in front of your face despite Steve standing in front of you asking questions. 

You can see his younger self flash beside him, and you wonder if you’re going crazy. If you were, would you even realize it? Would anyone even know? You remember the first day you met Steve all those years ago at one of Tony’s parties. You had a bet on who would get drunk first, but the bastard didn’t tell you that he couldn’t really get drunk. You were swaying and slurring while he was standing upright. 

You start to believe that the burning sensation rising in your back and stomach will never end. You cna faintly hear Sam and Steve arguing over if they should remove the spear at all from you or the ground, but you could care less. Your eyes shift to Natasha, and the rest of the world becomes blurry. Maybe it’s because of the blood loss, but you can see her just fine. You’re trying to memorize the way her hair sits on her forehead after a battle. The way her eyebrows are creasing as she tries to decipher what you’re thinking. The way the sunset creates a glow on her face. 

I should’ve stayed inside. 

Steve grabs your face as your head begins to lull backwards, now looking at the sky, and your eyes fight to stay open. When you meet his eyeline, you try to reach out to place and hand on his shoulder, and maybe get out a few words of sentiment. 

“Save it. You’re going to be just fine. We’re going to take the spear out of the ground and lay you down, okay?” You try to nod back, but everything is moving too slow for you. The wind no longer helps cool you down, but it feels freezing. 

“Are you serious? That’s going to cause serious bleeding, and we’re already losing too much!” Natasha interjects which causes a fight between her and Sam. Steve tries to ignore them. As the sun hits Steve’s blonde hair, you laugh. He looks up after sitting you on the ground, spear at and angle. It hurts a little more, but at least you aren’t trying to keep yourself up. 

“What’s so funny?” He raises an eyebrow before looking away from your eyes to plan what to do next. 

“You were always the golden boy, Rogers.” You mention while raising a hand to point out the golden hue the sun gave him. Should you really be cracking jokes now?  Natasha looks away from Sam to sit by your side. She pushes your hair away from your head and stares at you. 

“Don’t close your eyes. We’re going to get you home. We need to get you home.” Her voice falters towards the end, but you don’t mention it. It would only make her more upset. She continuously strokes your hair, and it removes your thoughts from Sam and Steve working to remove the spear without causing too much blood loss. 

“Do you think Bucky is taking care of my cat?” You ponder aloud, and she laughs sadly. 

“I think Bucky stole her by now.” She leans her forehead down to meet yours, noses brushing. 

“Natasha, if I make it out of here-” You try to start, but her head snaps back as she looks at you in bewilderment. She takes both of your hands in hers. 

“Which you will.” She quickly interjects, but it doesn’t give you hope; you give her a stern look. 

“I want to marry you.” You flatly state. You have wanted to ask her for a while, but fear got the better of you. It is now or never. Literally. She stays quiet, seemingly debating with herself again, and you finally slip out of consciousness. 

---

I rearranged my room today, so I am beyond tired. I hope you loved it <3

Again, thank you all for the support! I can not believe how far we’ve come. Another thing before I go: if I were to write a series, what would you like to see? Let me know!

-Lucy 

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #marvel #hurt/comfort

[lovelyirony]

“But I remember you the way that we rehearsed” for winter13, please?

Fake dating. Bucky didn’t like that it had come to this. He glared at his agent, Natasha, who pays him no attention. 

“And this is necessary exactly why?” 

“Because you scare people,” Natasha says. “And it proves on some level that you have a heart somewhere in there.” 

Bucky snorts. “Let them think I don’t have one. It’s how I get all my roles, right?” 

He had had previous experience in the military. With squared shoulders, a deadset gaze, and good-enough looks to be noticed by a talent scout? He’d been shipped off to Hollywood and gotten typecast as a handsome military man in every single movie. He didn’t mind it. As long as it paid the bills, he’d do it. 

Natasha didn’t like this. Apparently he had to be a “real person” and “interact with people.” 

He did not like that. Why interact with people? He talked with Steve. He made fun of Sam. This was enough! 

“At some point, people grow bored of the whole ‘I’m tough and distant, watch me gaze stoically’“ Natasha tells him. “And I know it goes quickly. With a dating life, it proves there’s more to you.” 

“There’s really, really not.” 

“Then it will boost Carter’s career,” Natasha says. “You don’t want to kick a fellow star down, do you?” 

“I don’t particularly care.” 

Sharon is dragging her heels in the dirt. 

“Maria, what the hell? What’s all this about me dating Barnes?” 

“It’ll be good for his image.” 

"What, to prove he can date someone?” 

“On the nose,” Maria says. “He needs someone that shows a...softer side of him.” 

“Does he have a softer side?” 

“You can make one.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

"Then you have a lower chance of breaking out.” 

“Still a chance.” 

“Do it and I’ll make sure that you get a wine cellar,” Maria says. 

“...fine.” 

- 

They both look at each other carefully. 

“I’m Bucky.” 

“Sharon. Good to meet you.” 

She sticks out a hand for a shake. It’s firm, to the point, and they’re both thinking this might not be the worst. 

“So, how do you want to spin this?” Natasha asks Maria. 

“They meet at a red carpet event,” Maria says. “Bucky asks after her, she gives him her number. They meet up for coffee. Become a thing. Short and sweet, exactly how it should be.” 

They nod. 

Sharon stares. 

“So we don’t get input?” 

“What would your idea have been?” Natasha asks. 

“I meet her at the shooting range,” Bucky mutters. 

“That’s literally the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Maria says flatly. “Nope. Red carpet. We’ll coordinate outfits a bit, leave the public saying ‘aw’ that it was ‘destined in the stars’ or whatever bullshit they’re going to put in the magazine. Any questions, concerns?” 

“Can I pick the coffee shop?” Sharon asks. 

“Yes.” 

- 

The red carpet event. One of Sam’s newest spy flicks, and Bucky can’t lie and say he isn’t excited. Sam makes a good spy with smooth looks, an easy smile, and a way with a suit and acting like he’s acting for espionage. 

It also helps that he can make fun of him while they’re at the theater. 

Sharon looks nice in a simple blue dress. He’s wearing a blue tie. 

Coordinating. By chance. He almost laughs at the absurdity of it all. 

She saunters over to him. 

“Bucky Barnes, right?” she asks. 

“You, uh, got it,” Bucky says. 

“I’m Sharon. I liked your last movie. You pulled an impressive move with the motorcycle. Was that a stunt double?” 

“Nah, although I did have a nice guy for the building leap,” Bucky answers. “You were in the last murder movie, right?” 

“The detective, yeah,” Sharon says. “How’d you meet Sam?” 

Conversation goes smoothly. Sharon fills in where Bucky breaks off. She doesn’t say anything about his short, blunt answers that so many others flounder over. She doesn’t even pause for any pity when he mentions the prosthetic. 

“Is it a Stark model or something else?” 

“Um. Stark.” 

“Good choice,” Sharon says. “I was reading about the success rates.” 

“What, because you knew I have one?” Bucky asks. 

“No, my cousin’s Tony,” Sharon says. She puts on a teasing smile. “Not everything is about you, Mr. Barnes.” 

“I wouldn’t presume, Ms. Carter,” he answers, a smile playing at his lips. “Mind if I escort you to your seat?” 

Take notice. Pictures. He knows it’ll be on one of those late night “News” stations. (News. What a fucking joke.) 

- 

He gets her number at the end of the night. She slips him a notecard. 

“Special occasion and all,” Sharon says. “I’ll send you the address for the coffee shop once you text back.” 

- 

That night he stays awake a bit longer. He tells himself it’s just because of the fancy, late event. 

It is not because he thinks Sharon may just be one of the most interesting people he’s ever met, and not just because she’s his type. 

Besides, coffee is nice. He can drink it and not answer anything while he’s sipping on it. 

- 

He’s early. By half an hour. She is five minutes late, orders some fancy concoction, and sits down. She looks very nice, put-together. Bucky can already see everyone staring and taking pictures. 

“So, how was your night?” Bucky asks. 

"Not anything happening besides sleep after the premiere, you?” she asks, stirring the foam around. 

“Not really. Ate a hot pocket.” 

He cringes. 

He really made the choice to say that, didn’t he? Ugh. 

To his surprise, Sharon laughs to herself. 

“Glad I’m not the only one who still eats garbage food. The amount of people who say they eat a smoothie bowl...” 

They launch into conversation about stupid foods that celebrities eat, and how much they both would kill for a grease-stained-paper burger that honestly tastes like your aorta is gonna fail. That’s how unhealthy it is. 

Sharon finds out that he likes rock climbing, and she offers to host the next outing at the club she goes to. 

They get photographed exiting. She admires the beat-up car that he refuses to get rid of. 

“Still runs, don’t see why I would get rid of it,” Bucky mutters. 

“Can I just say, for one, that I don’t know why anyone in Hollywood would deny having a car that’s fifteen years old and has a ‘My Son is an Eagle Scout!’ sticker on the back,” she says. “Oh my god, did you get this from your mom!” 

Bucky laughs. 

- 

Dating is easy. 

Feelings are hard. 

Because Sharon can go on dates. They go on walks and answers questions and grin for pictures, and that’s all good. She can do that. 

What she can’t do is at least attempt to stop trying to feel the way his fingers press into her waist, the way she smiles at him. She knows how she’s smiling at him. 

She needs to stop sitting with him at an old diner at sunset, cheeks red with laughter and long-faded sun, and they bicker over who has the best shake. 

She needs to stop taking his jackets and shirts and wearing them out and feeling a sense of pride that other people know that she knows him more than anyone else. The way that he only smiles at her. 

They’ll have to talk to the Oscars board to get him nominated for Best Actor. Hell, maybe she can even convince them to have him win. He’s convincing like that. 

- 

Bucky hates that he has feelings as well as memories. Had lobotomies not been highly risky and (mostly) illegal, he probably would have signed up for one right about now. 

Dating is...nice. He likes Sharon. He hopes that she likes him, at least. Tolerates maybe. 

Natasha says their break-up is scheduled for a month from now. Mutual parting, careers in the way. Whatever excuse is cooked up, he’s sure it’ll make sense. Sharon probably has a life to get back to, and Bucky...he’s sure he’ll think of something to say in the interview when they invariably ask him about it. 

- 

It’s Sharon who comes to his house at ten-thirty at night in old cut-offs, a t-shirt that’s paint-splattered from when she helped him paint his kitchen table chairs one boring afternoon, and her eyes are rimmed with red. 

“Feel free to tell me I’m stupid, but I don’t wanna break up,” Sharon says. “We have a good time, I think you’re probably the only actor in this whole scene that I’d ever date, and you’re the best guy I’ve ever met.” 

Bucky blinks. 

“Are you...me? The best guy you’ve ever met?” 

Sharon giggles a bit. 

“Yeah, you.” 

“Sharon as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours,” Bucky confesses. “Can’t promise I’m the most interesting guy alive.” 

“Says the guy who drives a beat-up town car with stickers on the back,” Sharon says with a snort. She pulls him into a hug. “But yes. I want you, Bucky. I really, really do.” 

- 

They inform Natasha and Maria, who already saw this coming from the moment they met. 

“Another match in the books,” Maria says, pouring a glass of wine for herself. “Who’s next on your list?” 

Natasha thinks, sliding her sunglasses down. “Well, I think Sif and Jane would do quite nicely together, don’t you think?” 

“It’s gonna need more planning than Bucky and Sharon,” Maria says. “You sure you’re up for that?” 

Natasha grins. 

“When have I not been, dear?” 

#winter13 #acting au #sharon carter #winter soldier #bucky barnes #agent thirteen #maria hill #natasha romanoff #lovelyirony writes

[fafulous]

Life in Wakanda with Bucky Barnes would include:

First Time:

You knew Bucky as a mere acquaintance. But beyond that, the endless stories that you heard from Steve made you eager to meet the man.

Bucky had no idea who you were since you were a new recruit to the Avengers.

Just like Bucky, you decided to move to Wakanda upon T’challa and Steve’s persuasion after the mindnumbing mission you had gone with the both of them.

Shuri was kind enough to show you where you were going to live which was near to Bucky house as well.

After Shuri left, you changed into the traditional Wakandan clothes and stepped out of your hut, only to meet the gaze of THE James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes.

And damn did he freeze like a deer in headlights when he saw you

You instantly tensed up the minute he began to walk away from you because damn did he look a greek god.

But you didn’t know that the reason Bucky went away from you was that he had no idea how to interact with such an attractive dame.

Bucky and you would always run into each other unintentionally, or that’s what either of you assumed

But finally got the guts to talk to you upon Shuri’s persuasion

and he did that thing again:

He froze and stuttered.

“He froze like a deer in headlights, our very own white wolf, just like you brother”

“Oh Shuri you have no idea how it feels”

Realizing his starting problem you helped him out

“You’re James aren’t you?”

“Wh-what, how do you know me?”

“Our very own star-spangled boy of course, who else?”

Friendship:

Ever since then for the next couple of days, Bucky would talk to you standing by the lake. For a minimum of five minutes.

Because let's face it, he was scared.

Scared of doing something he's never done before: getting to know an exquisite woman like you.

And the best part was you didn't mind the short-lived meetings every day

As long as you saw him

Until one-day he gathered up the courage to expand this small, budding friendship:

"Would you like to meet my goats?"

"Sure!"

And he went on and on, introducing all of his seven goats patiently to you. The ways his eyes lit up every time he told their names gave you happy jitters in your heart. It was too difficult to stop blushing.

"This one is Steve because this was my first goat ever"

"And this one is Sam because, you know, he's a jerk...but I love him."

And at one point few of the goats, especially the ones named Natasha and Scott kept scuttling around you which made you coo and play with them even more.

Which also made Bucky fall harder for you even more

"So James-"

"Bucky"

"What?"

"Call me Bucky, doll."

Attraction:

Safe to say at least, Bucky no longer ensured that the meetings would last more than five minutes.

They'd last for the whole day.

Bucky wanted to take you to the Wakandan Market since you were always pampered by Shuri to ensure you were supplied with whatever that was needed.

Your breath completely stopped when you saw Bucky.

Geared up in the Red Wakandan robe along with the scarf that covered his left arm fashionably.

With that goddamn rough stubble and his man bun.

How did he do it?? With? One? Arm?

All you could think of was how you wanted to stroke your fingers along the strands of his gorgeous hair and how his beard would feel on your-

"Shall we?" He asked by extending

Now it was your turn to freeze like a deer in headlights.

"Y-yes"

In the market, you ran around like a child seeing a supermarket for the first time. So many artisans selling so many things. Your eyes lit up at every shop amidst the busy crowd.

But Bucky didn't mind the crowd, all of his attention was on you. The way your hair moved and the way your eyes lit up whenever you saw something that interested you extremely.

He even noticed how she completely wrapped arms around his right arm, gripping it harder whenever she was excited.

And he loved it. Made him proud rather

But at one point she rushed off without warning him, which made him worry intensely.

Only to return with a handful of plums.

"I overheard you reprimanding Sam yesterday of how he ate all your plums."

He doesn't know how to respond and unfortunately ends up staring. Again.

"Bucky.exe has stopped working brother."

"Oh leave the man alone Shuri"

You would pop into his hut sometimes, helping him with some daily chores

It felt so domestic and pure, one could get used to this he wondered.

The first move:

In the evening, you and bucky decided to have a bonfire set up

With enough fruits and food, both of you began indulging in stories of the past, showing each other how vulnerable you can become

While Bucky spoke about his literal fall and HYDRA, you spoke about the abusive mission that you had to endure with Steve and T’challa.

“Nothing can ever hurt you now Doll, you’re here with me now”

“And I, with you Bucky”

And involuntarily both of you pulled in together...for a hug.

Your sensations went wild when he buried his nose between your hair and neck, which made you stroke his wavy hair.

After some time, you realized his breathing became uniform and you decided to lean down.

The white wolf has gone to sleep 

The next day, bucky woke up entangled between your arms on the grass.

The Bonfire ceased and the sun was up

You looked so peaceful.

He slowly removed his right arm underneath your body, only to move the strands of hair blocking your face.

She's too serene

Too beautiful

Too good for you Bucky.

He knew it right then and there as the first set of the sun's rays fell on the both of them.

She is the one.

Waking up the next day and not finding him next to you made you a tad bit sad, especially since you couldn't spot him the whole day.

The WHOLE DAY.

It was extremely disheartening, maybe thinking something went extremely wrong last night after the beautiful moment you both shared

Until you finally found him babbling to all of his goats at night

And he stopped the minute he saw you

And the conversation became too angsty, asking him where he was the whole day

and damn Bucky was shit scared since you looked so regal and scary under the moonlight.

And in the slip of his tongue:

“I don’t have to always tell you my whereabouts Y/N”

That stung your soul like a wasp

“Did anything mean to you yesterday?”

He panicked like a lost child, seeing tears streaming down your cheek.

And came over to you, tugging you closer, his right arm wiping away those tears

“Everything, doll. Every single minute meant more to me than you think”

Both of your gazes are on each other's lips

And you’re too eager to make the first move

And you do.

It wasn’t needy as you thought it was, but soo passionate

And gosh Bucky could taste the strawberry off your lips, and he wanted to bite those lips of yours

Only to be interrupted by the bleating of his goats, followed by the incessant giggles of you both

“Such a romantic first kiss Bucky”

“Tell me about it”

The fluff domestic life:

You couldn’t believe that both of you were actually a thing

Bucky quickly explained that the only reason that he avoided you that day was that he was nervous and felt he was out of your league.

“That’s so stupid Barnes. Stop thinking like your goats”

“Hey, not a word about my goats!”

T’challa and Shuri were so happy for the both of you were together now

And even helped to move into a slightly bigger house for the both of you

and Bucky’s goats

“Doll, they’re ours now”

Both of you shared a bed, although Bucky was skeptical, especially because of his non-existent arm.

But you reassured him that didn’t matter. Always. 

Mornings became lazier, both of you always entangled in each other's arms

“Good morning sleeping beauty”

And Bucky’s hoarse morning voice was a godsend gift

And if you didn’t nudge, he will pepper your face and neck with soft kisses, especially your sweet spot

and eventually, you’d give in sleepily, with a sloppy morning makeout session between the sheets

both of you would cook together although most of the time you ended up learning from him because clearly, he knew way better than you did

and breakfast, lunch, and dinner went by talking and getting to know each other more and more

Bucky would also teach you how to take care of his goats

"Steve and Scott are fine with anything but do not feed Natasha carrots for God's sake"

And you just thought they were goats.

They’re family.

Bucky also flexed his muscles literally and would show how he could do one hand pushups.

And you would definitely take the opportunity to slide underneath his glorious torso because he would peck on your lips every time he came down

and your giggles would drive him crazy

Comforting each other’s nightmares and bad days

And whenever he would get phantom pain on his left arm, you’d massage it and coo sweet sweet words to relax him

“You’re going to be okay bucky, I promise”

Later in the evenings, Bucky would sometimes sit outside to watch the sunset

While you took the opportunity to french braid his hair and putting flowers wherever you could

“I could get used to this doll. Do this every day?”

"I'll think about it"

Followed by Bucky chasing you around until you submit to him

And you eventually do and fortunately get tickled to death

(Things gonna get NSFW kids bye bye chilren)

Sex was never brought up by Bucky though he did want to. He was just a bit hesitant due to his physicality.

But you on the other hand never saw it as a disability

You wanted Bucky. Wanted him so bad.

Like whats not there to want? Great body, soft hair, a really cute ass.

There would be times when the sexual tension was so bad, you both had to leave the room. But alas, it was solved.

It was when you went by the lake surrounded by thick trees, you saw Bucky. An ethereal Bucky.

He was sitting on one of the branches, his legs spread in naked glory, his Blue Wakandan robe conveniently covering his manhood. 

Those thighs could kill you

The glorious ends of his hair were dripping with water onto his bare torso. He probably took a dip in the lake

You getting turned on was an understatement because he looked like a fucking god

You whispered his name involuntarily and your brain was clouded with so much lust you had no idea what you were doing.

Bucky, on the other hand, was in the lake a few minutes back because he was hot and bothered thinking about you, and unfortunately had to take care of himself. 

Especially because you decided to wear your cute black tank top and shorts with a messy bun, teasing him every time you took a step.

He froze, again of all the times to freeze as he saw you coming towards him, her eyes clearly showcasing one emotion.

You looked up to him, your hands roaming his wet torso and you swore bucky choked.

“Doll you’re so good to me. Are- are you sure?”

“I want you so bad baby. So so bad.”

And all you had to do was jump onto his waist, and wrap your arms around his neck.

Both of you made love to each other for the first time near the lake and it was so hot (figuratively obv ;)

Bucky’s beard burn throughout your body

and he loved to hear those pretty lil moans of yours, making him hard instantly

and he was vocal too, and boy did it make you flip

especially when he whispered hoarsely into your ears

“beautiful girl”

“you feel so good doll”

“Harder baby” you’d moan 

and you both came screaming from your highs together. And ever since then, he’d try something every day

But he’s extremely vanilla

and has come to the conclusion that he loves loud sex

because why not.

Both of you would go down on each other whenever you both were stressed

He’d ask you every time if whatever he was doing okay and you didn’t mind.

Because you love this man too much.

Trailing your body down with sloppy kisses was his favorite. 

And you? You loved biting him.

You loved his thighs. And riding him every time was your kink.

“You’re a fucking goddess, doll”

And he could never decide if he was a boobs or an ass person

“Its hard baby. You do have great assets”

“I know it's hard” you’d wink

His after sex care was spot on and you ended up cuddling him as always.

Angry sex happened like one time

Because you forgot to mention to Bucky that you were to spend the day with T’challa

some pieces of furniture broke but it was alright

But it ended up with both of you saying those three words for the first time to each other

“I can’t stay mad at you. I love you too much Y/N”

“Oh Bucky I love you too”

And you knew life in Wakanda couldn’t get better

--

Tag: @padmaaavati @marauderette130 @dendrite-lover (ILY frens)

Posted on 18th June, 2019

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes x reader wakanda #bucky x reader x steve #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes rp #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes preference #bucky barnes playlist #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes prompt #bucky barnes hc #bucky barnes aesthetic #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes wakanda #Sebastian stan #Saki writes

[ohstardust]

Give Yourself A Try - [B.B AU]

Prompt: A & B once dated, everything turned a little ugly but they go on a bonding camping trip with their friends, they get lost during sunset and talk all the shit out until they’re okay again. A/N: I’ve had this little prompt rattling around in my brain for the past year, originally to be written about Aneurin Barnard but then I had a tonne of Bucky feels to go with it so here you go. Also, this is my very first Marvel piece of writing, I can’t believe it, FINALLY. We all love AU’s right? x Title: Give Yourself A Try by The 1975

The blazing sun had begun to set over the lakeside, the air turning cooler and the humidity easing off. Burnt oranges, rose pinks, sapphire blues bleeding into the skyline, the daylight fading overhead as the group of friends drank and laughed and smiled warm smiles, beer bottles clinked and legs splashed in the lake. The last weekend of August had been their retreat, a relaxed get-together to enjoy the end of summer and to catch up with each others lives, re-tell memories and stories from their past. It had been too long since they last basked in the content comfort of their friends. Tents littered the field surrounding the water, a cluster of coloured canvas brightened up their patch, before long a log fire would need to be lit to lead the way and that’s why Steve took the reins and sent Bucky & Y/n to fetch wood. He’d never admit to the genuine reason for sending the pair out together on this short quest, he had factually told them that everyone else was preoccupied and they were the only ones who hadn’t been dipping their toes in water for the past 3 hours, and he left it at that. It seemed like a crock of horseshit, but Bucky and she were adults and, although they hadn’t directly spoken to each other in over a year, they weren’t about to squabble with Steve over something they could most definitely handle.

Peggy and Natasha’s raucous laughter could be heard in the distance as Bucky and Y/n trudged side by side in silence, the sound upturned her lips slightly and she felt such a fondness for her friends, they’ve been through many tough times together but they always came out stronger because they had each other. They were there to pick each other up, dust them off and push them forward. It’s why they’d remained together over the past ten or so years. The wide expanse of woods before them was daunting and so vast, it extended for miles and it made her fingers twitch to reach out fo Bucky’s as a source of comfort. She never had done well with anything remotely unnerving. But she wouldn’t do that, couldn’t do that, it wasn’t the same anymore, they weren’t the same anymore. “Are we gonna stay silent all weekend or are we going to actually be civilised and make small talk?” She tentatively asked, her white plimsoll kicked up some soil and she buried her fists into her sweatshirt pockets. Bucky stilled for a moment, her voice sounding so familiar yet so foreign being directed towards him, his heart clenched and he gruffly exhaled through his nose. “Silence seemed easier, I thought that’s what you wanted.” “I did for a while, but I think I can talk to you without wanting to shake you now, so that must count for something.” Her shoulders shrugged in a feeble attempt to brush the exchange off and she tried to smile a little, make the whole thing seem like a joke. But it wasn’t a joke, what happened hurt too much to be laughed off. “You have every right to want to scream at me or slap me. I deserve it.” “It’s in the past, it doesn’t matter anymore.” “You were right when you left - what you said - you were right.” “Hmm?” Many things had been said the evening she walked out of Bucky’s apartment, so much said yet not enough to understand each other and what they were thinking. Was it how she called him selfish? heartless? secretive? unfaithful? She wasn’t all too sure she wanted an answer if it was the latter. “You are worth more than how I treated you, I handled the whole thing so badly and I fucked up big time,” Bucky rubbed his palm over his face and scraped his hair back as he sighed,” I should have talked to you instead of being so angry.” Her tongue wet her lips and instead of breaking out in a rage like she’d anticipated all those months ago, her voice travelled out quiet and soft, “I never had an explanation, you kept me in the dark, how could I have helped you if you wouldn’t let me in?” “You couldn’t have helped me no matter what I did, I needed to help myself. I just hadn’t thought about how it affected you, I was too caught up in my own head to see what I was doing to you.” “What happened? i’m not saying I deserve to know, because I don’t anymore, but whatever it was affected my life too, regardless of whether I know or not.” Bucky stopped his feet from moving and halted Y/n, he turned to face her to try and explain what he’d done wrong, why he’d ruined a once perfectly good relationship with his own head and grief and frustrations. He needed to make her see that it wasn’t her fault, and in some ways, it wasn’t entirely his too, everything had just become so blurry and mucky and devastating. “I - I was having night terrors about the accident, all I could see was me being thrown from that damn - fucking - motorcycle in slow-motion and, no matter what I did differently, I - every time I ended up with the same injury. I didn’t understand it at first and it made me so angry and infuriated, like this damn thing isn’t already a constant reminder,” Bucky raised his prosthetic arm and dropped it back to swing beside him. “I was too scared to sleep in case I dreamt it again and then it made me cranky and miserable and I took it out on the one person that was just trying to help me, the one person that loved me regardless of how fucked up I was - still am - and I regret it more than I can tell you.” “You could have come to me, I was so confused and upset and so fucking hurt, I blamed myself for so long before I walked out of that door.” “It was never your fault, I know I didn’t make you see otherwise, but you weren’t to blame. This was all me.” “Buck - you went through this alone, I was right beside you the whole time, but you were still alone, and I hate that.” “I felt so ridiculous for feeling that irked by my dreams, it was suffocating and too much. but at the same time it didn’t feel enough to worry anyone. You all care so much about me and worry enough as it is, part of me didn’t want to burden you.” “I was your partner, that’s what I was there for - to share the load and lift some of the weight - Christ, isn’t that part of a relationship?” Y/n’s vision blurred as she bit back a sob. “Yes and no, I’m sorry that I hurt you but I’m not sorry for not dragging you into my head.” “I’d have done anything to help you, to make you feel better. That’s what you do for those you love.” “There was nothing you could have done.” “You didn’t give me the chance, Buck.” She glanced at him and exhaled deeply then show her head and pushed on forward to collect a few scraps of wood that were sufficient enough for their fire. Her mood for a campfire and s’mores had been thoroughly extinguished and she was suddenly so tired, she just wanted to sleep the day off and start fresh tomorrow. Whether she was on speaking terms with her ex-boyfriend or not. Bucky muttered to himself, “It was for your own good.” The pair walked on for a few minutes, back to the tranquil silence that they’d kept half an hour ago, minds ticked like clockwork as they mulled over everything possible to say. Bucky pondered over how badly everything had fallen apart, he’d fucked up the one relationship he’d had since his accident and pushed away the first woman that hadn’t looked the other way once they noticed his artificial limb. She’d embraced it and treated him equally, he hadn’t been used to that since before - since before things had gone to shit. He just couldn’t regret the fact he’d done what he thought was best for her. “Y/n - look - I’m sorry, okay? So stupidly sorry for hurting you.” Her jaw clenched and she willed herself to not cry in front of Bucky, she wanted to be stronger than that, she was stronger than that. Instead she slowed her pace and blinked slowly, “Were you intentionally trying to brush over the fact I basically told you I loved you?” Bucky wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry or drop to one knee and beg for her forgiveness, “I wasn’t taking it too literally.” She met his gaze and pulled her mouth into the closest thing to a genuine smile she’d shot him in so long, “You should have.” Her pace quickened as she noticed Steve and Peggy’s tent approaching and broke out into a jog to join her friends. With a beer in hand and marshmallows roasting over the fire Thor and Carol had started she scanned their group, the wide grins, college sweaters, Scott sassing Sam, Wanda, Bruce, Tony and Clint singing hopelessly off key the more they drank, and Loki sat off to the side, relaxed and laughing at the four of them. She could feel Bucky’s eyes with their pointed stare on her and she shot him a smile and raised her bottle in salute. He mimicked her action and took a mouthful. Later that night, after one too many and a blissed-out warmth settled into her bones, she leant in close to him whilst their friends danced around the fire and whispered, “I miss you, okay? I’m trying to move past what happened and be your friend again, because I love you.”

#Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #mcu #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fiction #Marvel writing

[stardust-revengers]

more headcanons bc I'm vv bored and have a problem anyway a neW character I want one with my boi Steve Rogers okay soso y'all are like best friends and you both secretly want something more ;) and y'all are hanging out one day and he kisses you bc you look v pretty or something idk and it's really cutE bc I am s o f t

I literally am smiling so big rn even though I’m brushing my teeth that’s gross M shut up oh well HERE WE GO -at this pint you’ve known Steve for years on end -you’ve been become very close since you’ve both met and can saftely say you’ve become each other’s best friends -always there to comfort one another when the other is upset -once in awhile you’d have cuddle session followed by awkward stares and knowing you both want to make another step -but sadly never got around to it -if any of the avengers even asked if y’all were a thing -you guys would be quick to answer no and “just friends” -sometimes too quick were everyone is like “sureee” -especially Sam and Bucky -they were in to you both and knew there was something more -one day just hanging outside on the avengers tower you,Sam,Bucky,and Steve -all of a sudden Bucky goes “I HAVE A THING TO DO BYE YALL” -“OH WAIT FOR ME BUCK” -then as you both knew you and Steve were yet again alone outside -the beautiful sunset resting open your features and you and Steve so close yet so far next to each other -you were about to get up and go inside not wanting to have this become another awkward session when all of a sudden you felt his lips on your -at first you were surprised but then as soon as you leaned into the kiss he pulls away -flustered as hell -his cheeks were red and he was a mess of apology -“I-I-I’m sorry y/n I apologize I just couldn’t take it anymore I knew me and you needed and wanted something more between us for the longest time and something today just seeing you under the sunset just snapped and I needed to just k-kiss im sorry if what I did made you uncomfortable I get if you don’t want to speak to me ag-“-you cut him off with your lips because he talks too much -pulling away to meet his stunning blue eyes you looked at your perfect soldier with a smile and a -“took us long enough cap” -Bucky and Sam looking out the window with pride smiles like “we did that y’all” -:’)

#3k celebrations #Steve Rogers #Steve Rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #Steve Rogers. y/n #Steve Rogers imagines #marvel #infinity war #marvel x reader #captain America x reader #captain America imagines #marvel imagines #ms writing #add to master list

[treasurelie]

INFINITY WAR SPOILERS

If you haven’t watched it then don't read. Period.

I literally don’t care that the characters that died in IW have their own movies coming out or that they still have contracts with Marvel or whatever. 

I literally just saw every fucking character i loved and cherished D I E before my fucking eyes. And I was not expecting it at all. 

Gamora’s death made me feel sick to my stomach. I got to admit i didn’t cry with her final scene with Peter Quill, because I didn’t believe that it would be her time with him. How many times have we seen the cliche scene, if they take me, kill me??? They never get killed but this time like shit??? I only teared up enough for a few tears to slip out and felt the bile rising in my throat as i saw her body on the bottom of the cliff. 

Fucking Thanos stabbing Tony was finally enough for me to start crying because i was so high-strung after Gamora’s death and I was so scared for Tony that even though I told myself before the movie, to be prepared for either Tony or for Steve to die but really I never was prepared. And seeing that stupid grape stab Tony made me cry because I didn’t want anymore deaths. However after a few minutes, after seeing that Tony won’t die, I calmed down and wiped the tears off my face.

Wanda is the strongest avenger out of all of them. Destroying an Infinity Stone and holding off Thanos at the SAME TIME. Amazing what a queen. Literally killing the person she loves just to save the world. Only for it to be in VAIN as the purple walnut turns back time just to get the mindstone, making Wanda’s and Vision’s sacrifice for n o t h i n g. 

The next 10 minutes, glory its a miracle I didn’t start screaming in the theater. 

Bucky’s Steve made me just stare at the screen in shock as I saw Bucky disintegrate, thinking what? then oh shit Thanos actually did it, then  no no no, they won’t kill off Bucky, not our Bucky, not my heart throb since 7th grade, not in front of Steve holy shit not again. 

T’Challa reaching for Okoye only to die in front of her. Her king, dead before her very eyes. 

Sam dying in ground, alone but inches away from Rhodey who was looking for him. 

Groot, REALLY THEY KILLED GROOT AGAIN. IN FRONT OF ROCKET, AGAIN????

Our beautiful strong Wanda, cradling Vision’s body, the look of peace on her face as she turned to the sun before disappearing. 

Then back on Titan, Mantis and Drax die while the others (and the audience) just watched in muted horror

Seeing Quill die literally just made me give up, I was finally accepting what was happening, Thanos w o n. 

And I’m not making this up when I tell you, Strange telling Tony that it has to be this way before dying, in the split moment I thought, its okay that they all are gone, at least Tony has Peter.

Until we all hear Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good. 

I cried a silent NO as I watched That scene unfold, as I feel my heart breaking, the roar in my ears being overtaken by Peter’s pleading that he doesn’t want to go, he’s clutching Tony in desperation, he’s scared because he knows he’s dying, and he doesn’t want to die, because he is 17 and he shouldn’t be scared of dying and he was just made an avenger and he shouldn’t be fucking scared of dying and he shouldn’t have to die in front of someone who is a father figure. 

And Tony shouldn’t have to see someone who is like a son to him die in his arms.  

All through this I didn’t cry, all i felt was my heart twisting in my chest. 

It wasn’t until Thanos was staring at the sunset and the screen going dark was when I finally snapped. 

I threw my head in my hands and I wailed. 

I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, and it wasn’t quite, it was very loud crying because that just happened, and my logical part was telling me that I don’t have to cry so much, its not that anyone (real) actually died. But I literally saw all my favorite characters die. 

So all I did was take heaving sobs, and took pained gasps with each breath.

No one near me was hushing me and my friends weren’t asking me to be quite. I heard a little boy next to me asking his dad if he was actually crying. When my tears finally let up just a little I saw 3 teenagers wiping their tears away only for new ones to replace them. 

I looked up at the screen, still taking deep breaths with each sob, I saw the Avengers: Infinity War logo again, then disintegrate to dust. Which just set me off again. (Marvel I’m suing)

The credits were long, which gave me enough time to go to wailing->grossly sobbing-> crying-> to finally pained whines as I just stared at the screen blankly, not wanting to talk to anyone, not wanting to pull out my phone to text my parents to pick me up, the movie was done.

I did straighten up when I saw Fury and Hill, thinking Yes!! They are here, everything might be okay!! 

Until Russo Brothers wanted to kill us more and KILLED OFF HILL AND FURY. LIKE I’M SORRY ARE YOU NOT DONE KILLING OFF CHARACTERS YET???

After the end scene, I made my friends have us be the last to leave the theater and begrudgingly left. Until I was in the car I finally realized that this was the first marvel movie that I have been to that was opening day/weekend/ generally the first time someone will see the movie, that there was no applause. There was no amazed, excited clapping, all there was was tears and fucking misery. 

Side note: I didn’t mention Loki’s death because there is no fucking way he’s dead because A. that was one of the worst ways for him to die, seriously stabbing Thanos in the neck??? and B. I don’t think that the Russos Brothers would kill him off like that, if Valkarie is alive, then Loki is alive. Period

Sorry if you actually took time out of your day to read this, its honestly just a mess that I wanted to get out. Overall, Infinity War was absolutely amazing and its definitely my favorite Marvel Movie, and in my opinion, it beat Winter Soldier.

It was just the ending (and Gamora) that kinda fucked me up.  

That’s my opinion though, please don’t be too butt hurt. 

#infinity war #infinity war spoilers #infinity war speculation #reaction #reaction to infinity war #its just misery and sadness #thats the movie #talks about the death #read this at your own risk