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deceitfuldevout · 5 months

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First and Last

Dark!Tom (The Party 2017) x ExWife!Reader

Word Count: +3,234

Warning(s): +18, Non con, ANGST, Domestic violence, Mentions of overdose/overdosing, Drug usage, Addiction, Forced drug usage, Heavy domestic violence, Forced breeding Accidental OD, Really long because I don't have a life.

Author's note(s): I wanted to post this before my trip. Idk if I want to make this into a 2 part series maybe if its good than ye 😃

You run into your soon-to-be ex-husband at a friend's party. He's determined to get a second chance. But some things never change.

You met Tom in college. Both of you were part of the same friend group and would see each other often. He was persistent in pursuing you. Eventually mustering up the courage to ask you out. You said yes because you fell for him first. But it was Tom who fell harder. He was your first love, first kiss, first everything. After a year of dating, he finally pops the question. Everything seemed to be going fine at first.

That was almost a decade ago. He's not the same man you fell in love with. Something inside him changed. There were times where you were unsure whether it was the drugs talking or how he truly felt. He would try to hide it but failed miserably. You can't remember how many times you've found his stash, which always resulted in an argument. You were sick of his excuses. It eventually got worse with his intake. He would arrive home half sober. You were sick of seeing him waste away like this. You remember finally deciding that enough was enough.

After catching him at home for the fifth time, you decide to take action into your own hands. In a fit of anger, you retrieve his hidden stash and flush it down the toilet. When Tom found out his reaction wasn't what you had predicted. Not at all. He dragged you to the bathroom and demanded to know where his supply went. It was the first time he'd ever laid his hands on you. Instead of apologizing for bringing them home, Tom held you in a chokehold until you told him where they were.

Never in your life would you imagine Tom of all people reacting in such a way. When you finally confess what had happened, he loses his temper. It terrified you how strong he became while under the influence. You were no match for his drug-fueled rage. Your wrist is still sore from how he held you down last week. There were bruises that were still healing for all the times before. But this one had been the worst punishment yet. He left you there on the bathroom floor, naked and sore. Tom hadn't bothered to look your way. He zips up his pants before leaving in search of his next 'fix'.

That wasn't the first time he put his hands on you, but it was the first time you had left him. You received a string of desperate phone calls, voicemails, text messages all from Tom. You returned home to find him on his knees with a bouquet in hand and tears in his eyes. He apologized and promised to be a better man for you. That was shortly lived. When you arrived home from a late shift, you caught Tom using it again. This time it was different, you found Tom overdosing. You lunged towards him, "Tom?! Tom!" cradling his head in your hands, holding him close. It was the first time you've caught him. A part of you feared this wouldn't be the last.

Tom had tried to make it up with sex, but you couldn't be around him anymore. You felt almost revolted how he didn't care. Having him around only reminds you of the pain. This time instead of throwing a fit, yelling, or crying. You simply packed all your things and left. What could you do with a man who refuses to change? Leave. You left for your mother's place, finally accepting that it wasn't your fault.

The divorce papers were mailed to him. For a while now, Tom knew there was something wrong with him. He was just too stubborn to admit it. You'd spoken with a lawyer and there was a court date issued. In a few months from now, you will no longer be referred to as husband and wife.

For the first time in years, you've finally let the feeling of guilt go. No longer were you going to let this define who you were. You weren't a failure as a wife. Because it was never your fault in the first place. Soon enough you were doing the things you loved again, even began to pick up a few new hobbies. That spark of joy began to return. You started dressing up in nicer clothes, going out, actually spending quality time with friends and family.

Sometimes there would be a moment when you'd feel for Tom and wonder what he'd be up to. But then again did you really want to know? It would usually be the same thing, him being higher than a kite. Still, you couldn't help but mourn at the loss of your marriage. When you were young and promised to love each other until your very last breath. You still loved Tom, but he loved other things more.

You were looking forward to your old college friend's New Year's party. A healthy dosage of socializing to get you out there again. You had the opportunity to catch up with everyone there. It felt as though no time had passed. You danced around, joined in some games, things were going well. But there was a lingering feeling that someone, somewhere was staring at you.

That's when you spot him, Tom, sitting quietly at the end of the room. Your breath hitches at the sight of him twiddling his thumbs. There's a part of you that regrets not filing a restraining order. Tom always had a habit of showing up unannounced. You weren't in the mood for whatever he had to say. So, you left his sight, down the hall, to the nearest restroom.

You sat on the counter, removing your heels for a moment. A groan escapes your lips as you rub both feet, knowing very well they would ache in the morning. Shit, you were really gonna feel that. You splash your face a few times, hoping that it would combat the summer heat. Completely unaware of the sound of the door opening. It was as if you knew who was behind you, turning around to find Tom leaning against the door. You gave him a glare, "Get out," you were in no mood for his emotional ambush. He ignores your request and calmly states, "I just want to talk to my wife,"

"We're not--"

"Legally, yes, we are," he corrects. Always so condescending. It was one of the things you couldn't stand. How he would belittle your intelligence. It was the little remarks he'd make to shut down any effort you gave. He made you feel unwanted. He was the one who decided to push you away first.

If only he could see past his own selfishness that you truly wanted to save this marriage. But in order to do so, he would need to admit that it was an ongoing problem. You didn't have to worry about a mistress, no. You had to worry everyday about finding him dead. You've caught him overdosing a few times. It eventually took a toll on you. To the point where you lost weight from the stress. Tom rakes his hand through his locks, "Of course you don't want to see me, nothing ever satisfies you," a snarky remark to try and get under your nerves.

With the amount of alcohol in your system, it worked, "Are you kidding me?" you scoff, "Don't you dare lie to me Thomas, I tried everything, everything to fix us, can you say the same?" you growl in his face. Maybe it was the liquid courage that gave you a whole new attitude. Whatever it is helped with confronting him. His reaction, however, was not what you expected.

He smothers you into a deep kiss, pulling you into his embrace. You try shoving at him in an attempt to catch breath. Finally breaking free from his grip. For a moment, he's seems visibly hurt. You scold, "What you wrong with you?!" it wasn't fair. After all the hurt you've been through, Tom still tries to insert himself into your life.

You deserved better. You try to shove him away. Instead, he shoves you against the wall, "Can't you see..." he presses his sweaty cheek against the crook of your neck, "You're my everything..." his voice sounding more desperate with each word. You scoff, "No, Tom, you can't do this..." tears began to brim, threatening to spill. His eyes are filled with worry, "No...now, baby please don't cry..." his expression is saddened but there are no tears. He kisses each cheek, ignoring your sniffling. Tom held you in place by the shoulders, "I couldn't stop thinking about you," it's true. You were his first love.

Tom had longed to see his wife again. To feel her, touch her, caress and worship every part of her. He wanted to make things right, truly. But she just got up and left him. Like he was trash. What made her so high and mighty? He's so sick of seeing you always playing the role of a saint. For once he wants to see you get downright nasty with him. His breathing became frantic, "Can't you see? I'm addicted to you," there's a mischievous look on his face that you were more than familiar with.

You place a cautious hand in front to create distance, "Tom, listen to me, you’re high right now, you're not in the right--" you were muffled by his hand, "No! No! Listen to me!" his voice booms. His sudden mood swing scares you. So much so that your nails dig into his wrist. He hisses in pain, "Stop it! Just stop!" he grits his teeth. When he releases his grip the first thing you do is make a run for it. But before you could even set foot out of the restroom you're pulled back by the hair. You fell on your back, hitting the marble floor.

It sends the air out of your lungs. That's when you start crying, shriveling up into a ball, begging for him to stop. This was how your arguments always ended. Tom crouches down, "Oh...baby I'm so sorry..." He grabs a towel, pushing it against the bottom of the door to ensure that it's soundproofed. He then pulls you into a hug, locking his arms around your waist. Tom rocks you in his embrace, "Please...please don't cry shh.." He doesn't want to see anymore tears spill. He's thankful for the music being loud enough to muffle your cries. He lifted you onto the counter.

You look down at the floor, refusing to look him in the eyes. Tom presses his forehead against yours. His eyelids flutter shut, "Let me make this right..." he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small bag, "Here... this'll help with the nerves," he swipes his fingers on his tongue before dipping it in. He swirls it a few times, coating the digits with the white powder.

When he brings it to your mouth you turn away with disgust, smacking his hand off, "Get it the fuck away from me! You fucking tweaker!" you claw at him. He's hurt by your words. How could you? He really is trying to stop. It's harder than it looks. He's tried just about anything you could name to fix his marriage. Nothing, not a damn thing worked. Every time he'd come running back to that same euphoric feeling. When you left, he started using it again, more than ever.

If only he could get you to try it out, then maybe, you'd understand. He presses you against the counter, using his bodyweight to hold you in place. You sob, "Please...please Tommy...don't do this..." he grips both of your wrists, ignoring your pleas. He looks at you with a maddening look in his eyes. You knew he was out of it. There was always that nothingness behind his irises. To think that this man was once your devoted husband.

He muffles your cries with a clean hand. He has an idea for the other. Tom hisses, “M’gonna make you take it, make you feel really good...” he reaches in between your legs, pushing aside the lace. Tom brings the snow coated fingers to your folds. He bites his bottom lip, concentrating on finding your opening. He slowly starts to insert them, ignoring your cries and pleas for him to stop. Tom starts pumping his coated fingers in and out of your channel.

You let out a muffled scream under his palm. Stray tears falling down and landed on his wrist. He felt almost bad, but you'll understand soon enough where he's coming from. Just wait and see. You'll love it as much as he does. Fuck, every vein in his body felt like it was on fire. It's easier getting hard while using, too easy. His dick almost hurts form how hard it was. He spat a wad on the tip, coating it with a bit of snow before hovering it over your folds. He presses it against your opening.

A wide grin spreads on his face, "Sh...please...don't flinch sweetheart I just wanted to feel... can I feel my own wife's pussy?" He moans. A mewl escapes your lips. Tom chuckles, he knew you'd love it as much as he does. His hands grip your neck, he doesn't know how strong he's squeezing, not while he's using. It felt nice feeling you clench on his length. He’s on an adrenaline high right now. He’s not going to stop anytime soon.

He rapidly thrusts his hips in and out your channel, indulging in the feeling. Two of his most favorite things combined. Oh, how he’s missed you. Tom picks up his pace. He leans down to plant wet, sloppy kisses across your bare neck. He retreats his lips, groaning against your ear, “I promise you I'll make up for everything, I'll even give you a baby like you've always wanted...” He knows it’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to be. A mother.

Your eyes shoot wide open as you scream into his palm to stop. Tom pops a pill in his mouth. He swishes it around a few times before forcing your mouth to open. He removes his palm only for a moment, before shoving it inside. It's too much, too much...You felt like you were flying, no, falling? Your heart couldn't stop beating and every single last one of your limbs felt like jelly. A visible vein bulges on the corner of your temple. Only a faint gargle leaves your lips, "F-fuck...T-tom...please..” sniffling for him to stop.

He coos, “M'gonna give you a baby, ok? then we'll be a happy family..." He sighs in admiration. Fuck, you looked so beautiful. Always so compliant. Don’t worry, he’s going to make sure you’ll never get rid of him, “This was mine the day I put that ring on that finger..." He finishes with a roar, coating your insides with his spunk. Tom is almost satisfied, almost. He doesn’t want to waste a single drop. He carefully removes his cock from your channel, plugging you back up with his fingers.

Tom takes the small baggie. He coats it with your arousal. A deep moan escapes his lips, "Just hide it for me, yeah, can you do that love?" Two of his fingers are buried deep into your channel, he scissors them apart a few times, testing the waters. Then he starts to push it in. You were too buzzed to even fight him off.

His fingers have always caressed that spot you just couldn't quite reach. Tom sighs, “Beautiful...fucking beautiful...” words that he hasn't used in years. Tom throws his coat on the floor. He carefully places you on it, taking no note of the blank expression on your face. He hadn’t noticed your eyes rolling back. He pressed his head against the door to hear if anyone was lurking. If the coast was clear, he could leave.

He places a chaste kiss on your cheek before leaving, placing a tie on the doorknob to ensure no one would wander inside. Tom prepares his car for the both of you. If you were thinking of escaping him, think again. He would keep you hidden until you were surely pregnant. You’ll have a part of him with you forever. He returns to the house with a pep in his step, opening the door to find you still lying on the ground.

That’s when Tom finally notices the faint frothing on the corners of your mouth. He crouches down, “No...” he should’ve seen this coming. You weren’t used to any kind of drug. You’ve never smoked a day in your life. Tom pulls you into his arms, “No no no no...no please...” he shook your unconscious form, “Please! Stay with me!” he shook harder, “Please! Fuck!” Finally breaking down. Tom couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without you. For it to actually come true was his biggest nightmare, “Please! Don’t leave me!” He rocks both of you back and forth.

Tom tries his best to control his breathing, reaching into his pocket. He calls the one person he knows would help, "Lenn...I'm in deep shit," he chokes. Tom prays that his brother can make it on time. For years now, Lenny had been the one covering up for his little brother. He could hear Tom on the other end of the phone, “She--she’s not waking up...” That’s when Lenny races out his office in search of his twin, "Tom, listen to me, where are you?"

Whatever shit his little brother has gotten into this time, he better hope it doesn’t ruin his record. Lenny hadn't spent years in law enforcement just to lose it all in one day. If word got out that the local detective’s own brother was a tweaker, he’d have to kiss that promotion goodbye. However, Lenny isn’t going to let him get away so easily. Unlike Tom, his brother is colder, more calculated than emotional. He's always surpassed him in every way possible. Well, almost. Lenny hates to admit it, but Tom had the one thing he finally beat him at, you.

You were the color added to his life. Without you his world was just...black and white.

#tom the party #Tom (the party 2017)#tom the party 2017 #Tom the Party movie #the party 2017 #Tom (the party) x reader #reader #reader insert #dark!fanfic #dark!fic #dark fanfiction #dark fanfic #fem!reader #dark!fanfiction #dark fic #my work #my works

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plutonianeris · 1 year

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‧₊˚ pick a pile‧₊˚✩embracing your alter ego⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤

PILE ONE 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: aries, leadership, willpower, ANGER, turning points, epiphanies, destiny, fate, pallas, creativity, wisdom, venus, pleasure, love, art, money, 4th house, foundations, traditions, home, family, roots. 🔐 **note: i got a lot of libra/aries energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in aries and libra. or if you have any aries/ libra placements do some more research on them 👀

your alter ego is someone that refuses to go down a dead end. if they get the slightest hint that someone isnt respecting their boundaries or treating them/ providing them with less than what they deserve they LEAVE. in order to embrace your alter ego you have to accept that you are in a state of metamorphosis 🦋 and push through to that next stage. rip that bandaid off and stop sitting there “crying over spilled milk” & your alter ego isnt having none of that. theyre the type to not let anyone seem them cry or sad (espeically the people that hurt them) and theyll if anything, dress up and fix their hair and strut like nothing happened. “I will always win in the end”

the person you are now isnt the same as who you were a couple months or even a year ago. you could have been a BIG people pleaser or scared of disappointing the people you love. the difference is now you are more sure of what you want and now your boundaries have become less shaky.

once you realize how fucking good it feels to love yourself your alter ego will bloom and you will take more risks and do all those things u were to afraid to do before. your alter ego reminds me of beyonces “sasha fierce” alter ego lol bc you will snap into it soon and it will help u get over that “stage fright”

i just heard“if you needed more time why didnt you make it?” your alter ego is someone who is bold, a risk taker, the first person to ask that question (and then break that rule), to wear the strange outfit. the first one to lean in for the kiss. your alter ego is an innovator, creative to no end (don’t worry if you aren’t inspired right now, you are the inspiration thats why you cant find it). its you. you are the muse, the canvas and the artist. your alter ego has harmonious relationships because they are very attractive, balanced, fair, fiery.

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

PILE TWO 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: compassion, dreams, confrontotation, disharmony, pleasure, love, trauma, wounds, health, routine, pets. note: i got a lot of pisces, scorpio/ pluto/ 10th house, and virgo energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀

in order to embrace your alter ego you need to stop victimizing yourself, similar to pile one there is need to use past trauams as an excuse for staying the same in unhelful behaviors and self sabotaging habbits. you’re letting life happen to you and shrugging your shoulders saying “it what it is” or “I cant change the past” get UP! when you walk, walk with your head held up high. I heard “don’t let people step on you not even once or they’ll keep their foot there pressing against your neck, suffocating..” don’t be afraid to show teeth, whether its a smile or a snarl.

people have wronged you deeply, maybe in irreperable ways. thats okay if youre not the same person. i promise they didnt take anything from you. you are whole and complete on your own. what people are DEEPLY scared of is you realizing your power. I heard “what? did you think I was going to stay small and insecure forever?” people in your close relationships want you to be down bad when they are (misery loves company). in order to embrace your alter ego you need to take the wheel and take control.

your alter ego embodies boss ass energy. your alter ego is mysterious, intuitive, passionate, magnetic energy. the ultimate femme fatale. your alter ego doesn’t let any sly or snarky comment slide, doesn’t allow fake ass people in their circle (theres a vetting process to getting close to them), is deeply loyal and ambitious. your alter ego enters peoples lives and leaves them in awe and jealous and in love and also turned on lol. This is POWERFUL (and slighlty dangerous) energy but if you know how to balance well your alter ego can easily climb the ranks in whatever endeavor its interested in. your alter ego loves to be in control. they’re the ones who dress in all black or sexy clothing. they love to work out as well. they secretly love the pain and soreness later. 🔥

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

PILE THREE 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: conflict, tension, your calling, discomfort, challenge, destiny, appearance, physical body, character, first house, ninth house, long distance travel, morals, teachers, beliefs. note: i got a lot of pisces, sagittarius/ jupiter, gemini/ mercury energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀

in order to embrace your alter ego you need to really work on your forms of communication (this pile gives off blocked throat chakra energy or some kind of harsh influence in your surrounding area that makes you feel like you to watch how you speak to the point where you dont speak up at all). you could have saturn in third house, squares/ oppositions to your mercury, or Capricorn or aquarius in your third house. the point is though, it has felt like when youre in groups theres so much conflict that youve spent so much time alone, that you believe you have to stay alone forever now.

youll find the people that will become like family to you but they will be of other backgrounds, religions, status, ethnicities or even in different states (possiblly entirely different countries). it makes sense considering your alter ego is philosophical, adventurous, flirty, fiesty, and very very very beautiful with a big smile and nice hips. a sight to behold to the eyes of the public. i heard “they talk shit about me to make themselves feel better” your alter ego is a heart breaker, people fall fast for there intoxicating personality and their big dreams. but in the blink of an eye theyre off to the next person or dream or adventure. i heard “ill mourn my losses on the way but im not gonna stop”

hey if you been thinking about booking that flight then maybe do it. or if you’re thinking about or make that vision board or buying those books on that occult topic you’ve bern interested in. your alter ego is determined, they wanna see the world and drink up all its beauty, delicacies, sights, rainbows, books, temples, slow and then fast kisses in the middle of sweaty and neon night clubs. they wanna feel it all. i just heard “im going to free my mind. just wanna remember all the good things” 💗

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

PILE FOUR 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: responsibilities, routines, self-worth, savings, sticking to your budget, investing, new moon energy (making wishes), shadow side, marriage, secret enemies, love, health, false notions of purity. note: i got a lot of pisces, libra/venus/ 7th house, virgo/ 6th house energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀

pile four, I see you giving and giving and giving to others. whether it’s letting people borrow money or listening to them endlessly vent or being there for people that necessarily aren’t always there for you. I see you putting other people first and not necessarily the people please in the way pile one does. Because pile one does it but secretly doesn’t wanna do it. But you do it and think you have to do it and feel like it’s your responsibility to make sure that other people are okay. i just heard “im your hero, you see me as your angel” is there someone deeply depending on you right now? im sorry but they’re not your child. nurture yourself and your inner world. give yourself more credit now..

oopp, the song i was playing just said “i could use a vacation but i gotta take care of my family,… im so damn tired from working overtime” PLEASE😭 this pile is so sweet/ wholesoom🥺🥺🥺🥺 its really calling on you to be selfish. and unapologetically so. you don’t have to share everything. your feelings, your hobbies, your resources or time or money. your alter ego slams the door shut IN THE FACE OF ENERGY VAMPIRES.

your alter ego reminds me of a mermaid or something. just very MYSTICAL and elegant energy. your alter ego is well loved and seen as very wise but they stand tall like a queen/ king. people want to worship your alter ego. i heard “you have beautiful eyes” a lot of people cherish their advice and could do well in doing spiritual readings as well. your alter ego is kind but not nice. they see right through superficial bullshit. They dont care if they have to force you to behave, you will not take from them without asking. I just heard “I respect your opinion, but please don’t force it on me. accept we see things differently.”

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

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daddyricsdoll · 5 months

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Hate but I love you too ✭ Ollie Bearman

Summary: From when he ignored you then nearly kissed your lips. Or never said sorry to begging for you. Oliver was a rollercoaster of emotions and it's safe to say- It took hate to love him.

Warnings: Unprotected sex.

Word count: 2.9k

A/N: Based off of a request. I'm sorry it took a while, quite a few things happened, but I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading this too! (did change a few things)

“Hey Ollie” I smile at him as we walk toward our karts that sit only metres away from the other. “What do you want?” He turns his head toward me with furrowed brows. “Oh, I-um just came to say hi and good luck.” I try my best to keep a smile on my face as he grimaces. “Ok then, thanks I guess.” He mumbles under his breath before quickening his pace and rushing to his kart.

It did hurt to watch him leave because of me, but it wasn’t the first time and it never made me stop from approaching him again. And just like the first time, it happened the next, he would always find a way out, but I found another in. I had questioned his actions and dislike toward me, but never got the answer, or maybe the one I was looking for at least. So after setting the goal of speaking to him every time we were in the same premises, I eventually lost it. Moving up into F4 and giving him a smile, then F3 and little glares.

F3 was an interesting time, it was when we started to only focus on racing, relationships later, whether it was friendships or romantically, we could all agree we had some struggles. And then came the part I thought would be my happy ending, but U-turned straight out.

But then came a experience for all of us drivers to experience what a lot of kids our age do. So then came a party with nearly all the drivers on the grid, hosted by a driver, so you could expect it to be on the spectrum toward chaotic. It happened to start light, small talk and grabbing another drink, before people loosened up and with that came party games. The truth or dare and spin the bottle.

My hand lightly shook as I grabbed the bottle in hand, trying to estimate which person it would point toward. Hoping it would be the British boy that sat across from me, and this time he wouldn't walk away.

Everyone's eyes stuck on the bottle and when it pointed in between two people I looked up to see it was Ollie and Jak. Everyone started shouting out their opinions of who it shall be before they all voted, and it was Ollie. I watched many emotions cross his face as we both leant forward and our lips inched closer to the other.

I stopped moving, waiting for him to make the next move, his lips were so close that I could feel his breath against my skin and I closed my eyes as I waited for him to close the gap. My lips curled into a smile as I was sure I would finally feel him. But instead of his lips ultimately against mine, I felt cold as I lost his presence and then his voice that refused to kiss me. “I can’t kiss her, we’re both rivals and it might ruin the race tomorrow.”

I don’t say anything, but sit back in the circle, at long last, accepting my defeat. I watched as some conflict arose, people telling Ollie it’s just a game and it doesn’t mean anything, but then he fought back claiming he wouldn’t kiss anyone in the circle, and then the game ended.

I found somewhere to sit in sorrow but also bliss, at how close his lips came to mine, but then how he left. I was alone for a short while before Arthur Leclerc approached me. He wasn’t even part of F3 this year but said “I could never miss out on a party.” and then sat beside me while enlightening me with his jokes and bad english. From there me and Arthur became close, while the tension between me and Ollie grew. I secretly schemed ways in my head to get Ollie back, make him feel the way I felt, make him regret something or tempt him with something, make it come so close then take it from him. There was no denying I wanted that thing to be me, and that’s what held my plan back.

The next year we both were signed into teams on the F2 grid, he had the opportunity to be with Prema racing and me with ART grand prix.

After Jeddah, our rivalry started to grow realising we were the top two drivers fighting for the win each race, me getting the victory first and him second. Then came up Australia, a track we were all new to, but it didn’t mean we wouldn’t try as hard.

I led the race with Ollie right behind me, fighting around corners and defending on straights. We had 3 more laps left as our tires started degrading drastically and our cars lost the power they had earlier in the race. Speeding down the main straight and reaching turn 1 Ollies tire clipped mine and we both spun into the gravel.

Furrowed brows under my helmet as I got out of my car that would’ve taken me to the top of the podium if it weren’t for Oliver Bearman. I put my steering wheel back in and smack the halo, needing something to take my anger out before walking away with clenched fists. Oliver stands still and stares at me as I aim to stride past him, but instead I land directly in front of him but don’t say a word. Our helmets would’ve touched if it weren’t for our heights and although my visor was still on I knew he understood the emotions that ran through me at that moment. We stayed like that for what felt like minutes until I walked away with a brush against his shoulder and hand.

Every race after that there was a stronger battle between both of us, it was either me or him that won, and those few times we didn’t, the bottom two on the podium had our names on it.

Just like last year, there was a party held, but this time we were in F2 and I wasn’t tailing after him.

Me and Arthur walked in together dressed impeccably and proud. We had a good season together and maybe letting loose at this “party” might make this season better.

Since everyone on the grid was here, it would be inevitable to see Oliver. Whether it’s a good or bad thing, I kind of do want to see him, especially since after that crash, I’ve never been better and he doesn’t enjoy being under me, so I’ll have a great time.

It barely took 5 minutes until Arthur found Oliver and started a conversation, while I stood with Arthur people congratulated me on having dominance over the season so far and I just waited till Oliver would say it too. And to my surprise it didn’t take long. “Oh um, congratulations.” I hear him mumble under his breath. “Sorry I didn’t catch that, can you say that again?” I ask him, hiding my smirk with a confused look.

He gives me an annoyed smirk, knowing wholly what I was trying to do. “Congratulations.” He quickly says and watches a smile curl on my lips before walking away with one too. Me and Arthur somehow separate and I find another one of my favourite people on the grid–Juan. I immediately laughed as the first words he said were an enlightening joke, and we sat at the table and talked, it felt so short but apparently it wasn’t.

I excused myself to the bathroom but not without a short interruption. “Nice boyfriend, since when?” The oh so recognisable accent drew me out of my stride.

“Oh, Oliver? I never knew you had an interest in people's personal lives.” I sarcastically joked, but I gained no reaction from him.

“I never knew you had an interest in people so low in the championship.”

“Unlike you Oliver, I actually know how to interact with people whether they are high or low in the championship because I know they won’t ruin my race even if we’re rivals.” I try to add some of his words from that night in F3 while taking a step closer toward him and most definitely getting in his personal space. He doesn’t attempt to move back into the wall that he already rests on, but instead looks down at me with concentrated eyes staring into mine.

“How do you interact with people? Oh please show me. Is it actions before words?” I knew exactly what he was asking for so I step on my tippy toes to stand taller and he lifts his head to look straight forward at me, I move my face closer to his, just like he did that night. I feel the ghost of his hand along my hips as my parted lips hover over his. I breathe against his skin and feel him try to move closer to me just before I break away and walk back into the main room.

Losing my need for the bathroom I walk back with a smirk and see the same one of Arthur’s faces. We both found a seat next to each other and laughed as I told him what happened. Arthur couldn’t get over it and started making fun of Ollie from across the table. Sending him air kisses and chuckles.

And just like I hoped this night did make the season more enjoyable.

I walked out of the Prema garage as we were 15 minutes till lights out and me and Arthur had just spent the morning being stupid together. We still couldn’t get over last night and Arthur was just waiting to see Ollie again, which was definite thanks to them being teammates. But as Ollie walked in, I had to leave. I sent him a teasing smile and he looked away with his signature furrowed brows.

We all got in our cars and lined up on the grid, me and Oliver sharing the front row. Once the lights went out Ollie kept the lead and I trailed behind him, keeping the gap close. Halfway through the race there was a yellow flag which lasted a few minutes before we were back to racing. The yellow flag closed the gap between both of us by a lot and now we were wheel to wheel.

I had the inside line so we both knew what was going to happen. But just like Australia, our cars collide and our race ends in seconds. I was most definitely filled with the same emotions as Australia but I knew hitting the halo wouldn’t ease them. I don’t dare to walk close or past Oliver so I take the long way around and stride straight to my driver's room. I don’t speak to anyone on the way there and slam the door once I arrive.

It hadn’t even been a minute until I received an unexpected knock on my door. Everyone knew that when I was angry, it was best to leave me alone unless you were certain that you could make me feel better. So when I got up to answer the door I was surprised to see Oliver. Before I could say a word, he beat me to it. “I’m sorry.” I stood there confused trying to process the words he had just told me. “I-I hit something and I couldn’t control my car, I think you hit it too and then we both…”

“And you think sorry will fix what just happened? For the second time!”

“No, I don’t think it will fix everything, but maybe if you accept the apology then things might change.”

“What happened? So you start talking to me, and now you learn manners! What happened to ignoring me and sending glares or not talking because I’d ruin your race or maybe you just never liked me!”

“A lot happened! And I don’t know how to explain it, but don’t act like I’m the only one that changed! What happened to the smiles you would give me before the race or when you would walk with me on the track?”

“You ignored it Oliver! You never showed an interest and you knew what you did that one night. You really hurt me Ollie.”

“Well then please, give me a chance to fix it. I regret everything I ever did or didn’t do.”

“And why do you want to fix it now Oliver?”

“I… I realised something. I realised that I really enjoyed when you would talk to me! And that the reason I ignored you before races was because you would infiltrate my mind during the race like you do every day and night! And I really wanted you- I still want you!”

“Fuck it.” I mutter under my breath as my hand grabs his and pulls it into my room and shutting the door right behind him. I had spent so long wondering what his lips would feel like, and now I know, they are the definition of paradise, my paradise. And his hands finally against my body did more than just touch my skin, they touched my mind and I tried to engrave the feeling into me. We broke the kiss and I looked into his eyes, irises being eaten by his pupils. Once my eyes landed on his neck, my lips did too. Placing hickeys all over his skin and moaning at the sound of his hushed groans.

“Is this what you wanted, Oliver?” I ask him against his skin. I don’t get words as an answer but little whines instead. My hands go to the top of his racing suit and I start unzipping it, soon pulling it down his body. Ollie starts to help me, mirroring my actions and seconds later we both stood in just our fireproofs. I couldn’t bear to still see him in clothes so my hands pulled his top off and my hands travelled along his unclothed chest.

“Come on Oliver, I’m not the one that has to fix this.” I mumble against his lips with a smirk. His hands then grip the back of my thighs and pull my body up against his. My legs wrap around his body like it’s not the first time and he lays me down on the small driver's bed.

“Is it too hard to finish what you started?” He whispers against my skin as he pulls my pants down my legs and they land on the ground. I sit up and lean forward to slide his pants down his legs so he can help ease the need between my legs. And once his pants sit next to mine, I have to clench my thighs together for at least some friction.

“Would you like to watch me finish what I started?” I ask and before I gain an answer I swap our positions, I replace my body on the bed with his and I stand in front of him. I barely give him any time to react as I crawl onto his lap. And then in seconds I lower onto his dick. Emitting a loud moan from his perfect lips, one that’s louder and longer than my own.

“I guess I’ll take first place again, on your list of best people you’ve fucked.”

“Fuck, oh, you’re the only one on the list.” He somehow manages to grit through his teeth. His words do something to me, and I start to work harder, his hips also coming to meet mine.

“Good, let’s keep it that way.” I occupy my lips with his and we capture each other’s moans. It didn’t take long until we were both moments away from coming, and it was like we had planned it together as we simultaneously came. I started riding both of our highs out until he grabbed my body again and flipped us over.

My back hit the soft bed and his hands slid along my hips as he started ramming into me. My whole body moved and it was something I didn’t expect from Oliver, but luckily I now enjoy the unexpected. We both cursed under our breath and out loud as our second climax was inching closer. I clenched around his dick and traced the delicacy of his body as I let myself feel everything that he was giving to me.

His eyes that remind me of autumn glint down into mine before I have to shut my eyes as my back arches and I cum onto his dick for the second time. I wait for the disparate feeling of him releasing in me again and whine when it finally happens.

He then lets out a long sigh and lays down onto me, body enveloping mine as he stays inside of me. “This was more than what I wanted.” He breathes out and then lays beside me, resulting in feeling the emptiness between my legs but oh so satisfied.

“Have I fixed what was broken?” He asked me.

“Maybe, but this is the first step.” I turn toward him and smile before he smiles back. This was more than I hoped and certainly more than I expected. So to sum it up, Ollie is many things and emotions, maybe I had to go through the dislike to savour and realise how much the like is worth. So Oliver, you made me want to stab you, but heal your wounds. Drown you, but part the ocean so you can walk through. You made me hate you, but love you too.

#ollie bearman imagine #ollie bearman x you #ollie bearman fluff #ollie bearman x reader #ollie bearman #ollie bearman smut #f2 fanfic #f2 fluff #f2 fic #f2 smut #f2 #oliver bearman #f1 smut #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #prema racing

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iam93percentstardust · 1 year

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one of the things that really bothers me about modern franchises, and in particular over the last 5 years or so, is their refusal to commit. what i mean here when i say this is that it's not uncommon for a major franchise to make a decision, whether about the plot or the characters, that should have had huge, world-changing consequences... and then just never address that again or worse, immediately go back and undo it. and i'm gonna pick on star wars and the mcu here because those are the two big franchises i'm into at the moment (and i think they're kind of the worst at this), but i don't want you to walk away from this thinking that this is solely a disney thing. i've seen this happen with game of thrones and supernatural and plenty of other non-disney franchises. spoilers ahead, you've been warned:

in ant-man & the wasp quantumania, scott and hope make the life-altering decision to stay behind in the quantum realm and defeat kang instead of going through the portal to return to their world. this should have been a huge meta decision for the mcu, and when i first saw it in theaters, my immediate thought was wow, what is this going to mean for the mcu going forward? are we going to get a movie/miniseries about scott and hope helping to rebuild the quantum realm? how are cassie, janet, and hank going to react to the losses of their loved ones (in some cases, for the second time)? is cassie going to become the "first" young avenger because she has to take her father's place among the team lineup (and i only say first because as of this moment, none of the other young avengers introduced to the franchise are official avengers yet)? except nope, because less than 2 minutes later, cassie had fixed the portal that had broken way back at the beginning of the movie and brought scott and hope back.

and it felt like such a cheat. i was so disappointed in that theater, not as someone who was invested in these characters on a personal level (because yay, cassie gets her dad back!), but as someone who has spent years investing themselves in the story of the mcu. what was the point of wasting screentime on scott and hope accepting their new lives in the quantum realm if it was just going to immediately be undone? the entire scene could have been cut to scott and hope making it back bare seconds before the portal closed and it would have had the same emotional impact. there was nothing added by making scott and hope (and us) think that there was no way back only to rip the rug out from under us and go "gotcha! you really thought we were gonna give this movie a sad ending? haha! you're so dumb!"

and this isn't the first time the mcu has done this. one of the biggest complaints about endgame was the decision to set it five years in the future with no consideration for how that would actually change the setting of the mcu. characters were brought back to the exact place they disappeared from with no consideration for how things might have changed in the interim five years (like planes that weren't in the air anymore, buildings no longer standing, even just something as simple as a chair being unoccupied). and then the mcu didn't even really have the courage to address how this would have shaped the world other than a few jokes and making the bad guys in the falcon and the winter soldier people who cared about how the world had screwed them over during the blip.

and things like this happen over and over and over again. the accords are put into place in civil war, but by the time we get to she-hulk, they're gone with no explanation because, as best as i can tell, the writers didn't want to have to deal with the worldbuilding that went into the accords. gamora is killed in infinity war, but heaven forbid quill not have an emotional investment in a film he appears for maybe 10 minutes in so now she's back in endgame. steve got to go live in the past with his ex-girlfriend (which is in itself a refusal to commit after the mcu both gave her a different husband and had the woman herself tell him to move on) but we need to establish that messing with timelines is bad because that's what the entire next phase hinges on so actually his ending was predestined and it's only everyone else who can't change time. whoever took this entire town and also wanda hostage and forced them to live out a sitcom fantasy is bad and needs to be stopped but wait, it's actually wanda and she can't be the bad guy yet, we need her for doctor strange 2, so actually everyone's going to defend her now and say that no one else could ever possibly understand her grief. thor has decided to accept responsibility as king of asgard, but we can't use him for any more movies if he's stuck in asgard, so actually he's decided to pass it on to someone whose entire leadership capability is developed offscreen. i could list more examples but this is making me angry, so let's move on to star wars instead.

with star wars, i look at first the oft-quoted meme, "somehow palpatine has returned." yeah, i shouldn't really need to go into detail on how that counts as a refusal to commit but. the last jedi was a study in how johnson refused to commit to anything that abrams had laid down in the force awakens, but rise of skywalker was almost like abrams had looked at the franchise and said "screw you for taking it away from me, i'm going to come up with the most bullshit stuff just to spite you for doing that in the first place. and i'm going to start by undoing the most important plot point of the first trilogy: the emperor dies." and yeah, disney's kind of tried to salvage this by dropping hints into the bad batch and the mandalorian about cloning, but that only really works if you're watching the franchise chronologically and not considering that both of those series came out after rise of skywalker.

and then there's the mandalorian, my sweet summer child, who is, in my opinion, the worst at backtracking their plot points. i'm not entirely convinced that any of the higher ups for this show really knew what they were doing when they started working on it and i'm not convinced that they know what they're doing now. yeah, there's the tie-in to the last season of clone wars, but the mandalorian has managed to walk back pretty much every single major plot point it's had. din is this legendary warrior who can't be beat, but no one will watch this show if he defeats everyone too early, so he's constantly getting beat up (tbf, sometimes some of the fights he loses makes sense like the krayt dragon and the mudhorn, but a lot of them don't. at all). moff gideon is dead, no wait no he's not, now he's imprisoned, no wait no he's not, now he's definitely dead, you can totally believe us this time guys. grogu can use the force and must be placed with the jedi, but wait, the only person still actively teaching the way of the jedi is luke and all of his students will be brutally murdered ten years from now, and we can't have that, everyone will be mad at us for killing off such a cute character and no one will buy baby yoda dolls (and also we have to set up luke's character degradation from hopeful, believes-in-love cinnamon roll to "i'm going to kill my nephew") so in between seasons let's have grogu decide to go back to din (and don't even get me started on how frustrating it is that a casual mandalorian watcher also had to watch book of boba fett to understand why grogu is back). din has the darksaber now which makes him king of mandalore, that's totally going to be important and what the entire series has been building up to, right? wrong! he might have spent the first two seasons making connections, learning about the world outside his sheltered upbringing, and demonstrating the various qualities that would make for a good leader, but the entire third season will be about din realizing that actually he's super unworthy and the darksaber should actually go to someone who... saw an animal in the water.

and it's really, really frustrating as a viewer! because how am i supposed to get invested in any of these plot decisions when they almost always get reversed? why should i care that mj and ned have forgotten peter when ant-man 3 has shown me that they'll remember him the next time they're all on screen together? why should i care that tech is dead when half of the last season of clone wars was about how echo was actually alive? if none of these decisions have any permanence, then where are the emotional stakes? why should i watch your movie if all you're going to tell me is that nothing matters?

#and also i want to make a point that the early mcu did permanent stakes really well #iron man 1 ends with tony announcing that he's iron man and that's something that still resonated years later #the entire second film hinged on that one moment #loki falling into the bifrost is what leads him to the chitauri which is what kickstarted the avengers #steve is woken from the ice and the first organization who presents themselves as someone to trust is shield #which sets up the betrayal he feels in the winter soldier #these moments resonate throughout the first two stages and the decisions the characters made MATTERED #so you can't help but get invested because what if it's the wrong decision???#anyway i'm frustrated with the state of franchises #alle talks #long post

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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kyotosworld · 4 months

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movie night

pairing: captain america!steve x reader

summary: Steve shows up injured to your weekly movie night so of course you have to help him

warnings: reader is portrayed as shorter than steve, language, mutual pining--almost annoying how much they pine

word count: 1.3k

Waiting for Steve is the worst. You hated not knowing whether he would come back to you.

It’s your weekly movie night, a ritual you guys started up in your freshman year of college after you realized he hadn’t seen a lot of movies.

You two are eating lunch together when Steve mentions that he’s never seen Toy Story, and never actually understands your references to them. He only laughs to make it seem like he does. You gasp in horror before asking, “Where have you been??"

An answer you later found out to be “frozen for 70 years.”

Somehow—after you’d begged him—, he agreed to let you show him the “best movies known to man,” promising him that it was not at all biased.

So now you’re here, waiting for him in his apartment. But you haven’t heard from him in an hour. Which you know isn’t that long, but in his line of work, it could mean anything.

You know he could be MIA for weeks at a time and safe, but that didn’t stop you from worrying.

You told him it was okay and that you could just reschedule. But he insisted, promising to be there and telling you to wait at his apartment. Finally, you hear a jingle of keys at the door and almost trip over a kitchen stool as you speed over to open it, a little too eager to see a friend.

When you open the door, there he is—a little scratched up and dirty—but somehow still managing to look as beautiful as always. Just the sight of him produces the biggest smile on your face, but your bright smile dims when you notice a deep scar on his right cheek.

“Oh my God! What happened?” You shout before bringing your hand up to feel his cut.

He looks a little surprised having been interrupted in trying to open the door before answering, “It’s not a big deal.” He smiles softly in an attempt to stop your worry, which it almost does, “You should see the other guy.”

You chuckle a little at that but continue to hold his face, softly brushing your thumb over his cut, your eyebrows furrowed in concern. Not at all missing the fact that he’s holding in his breath in an attempt to hide his pain.

But then you're hit with the realization that you’ve been touching him for too long. "Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed, quickly putting your hand down.

“Don’t be,” he says, picking your hand up and placing it back on his face. “You can touch me all you want," he adds, staring straight at you.

You raise your eyebrows at him, then quickly change the subject. "Umm-ok, let’s get you cleaned up,” you say as you turn and walk towards his bathroom, missing the small smirk you produce on his face before he closes the door.

For whatever reason, your face warms when you hear Steve's footsteps following behind you. Maybe because there was a time when he refused any help, but now he accepts it without issue, and you’re glad to be there for him.

When you get to the bathroom, you pull out his first aid kit and tell him to stay still as you try to reach an alcoholic swab up to his face. Despite your many efforts, you can’t do it without leaning your head so uncomfortably far back or standing on your tippy toes due to the giant that is Steve Rogers.

He softly chuckles before grabbing your hips, picking you up, and placing you on the counter. “There. Better?” he asks, looking straight into your eyes. His strength never fails to amaze you.

At that, you inhale sharply, only to stop breathing as you notice your legs are practically wrapped around his waist and he's standing very close in between your legs— in order for you to clean his wound of course. "Yeah, yeah..much,” you try to say as coolly as possible, not planning on letting him know how nervous you’ve become all of a sudden.

It doesn't go over your head that Steve could have easily just sat on his couch to fix your problem, but you have to admit that you do like this method just a little bit better.

And his hands are still on your hips. And you try to think of anything else, but how can you when Steve Rogers is touching your hips?!

So you try your best to turn your focus completely towards his cut in hopes of forgetting your situation right now. When you wipe it with the swab, he hisses and squeezes your hips in response to the pain, and you can’t help but softly gasp.

Causing him to ask concernedly, “Are you okay?” with a grimace on his face, no doubt in pain of his own.

“Am I okay?” you ask in disbelief, a little over exaggeratedly in hopes of distracting from your very confusing feelings right now. “Steve, you got a big ass scar on your face, and you’re worried about me?” you ask incredulously.

“Of course,” he says seriously, “I’ll always worry about you."

A silence washes over you two as you stare at each other. Feeling things for him that you hadn't before, or maybe you just hadn't realized till now. Seeing him in a new, more intimate light.

Crash!

The loud sound of the cleaning alcohol bottle falling over interrupts you.

“Shit.” You let out a breath that you didn't know you were holding, and you guys finally look away when Steve goes to pick up the bottle.

You both chuckle lightly before he gets back up. Though he seems to have miscalculated how close you were before because now you’re really close. And you’re not chuckling anymore.

Your breath hitches across from his very close face, and you two don’t say anything for a bit before Steve notices how tense you’ve become.

“Sorry,” he whispers as he backs up a little, looking down in shame. Misinterpreting your tenseness for discomfort and not the things you’re too scared to admit.

“No. Don’t be,” you reply with a new, unknown sense of confidence as you pull his arms closer to you. “You can stand close to me all you want,” repeating the words he said to you earlier.

He chuckles at your familiar statement, looking up at you shyly, as he tentatively takes a step closer and lets you return his hands to your hips.

Butterflies form in your stomach at this, but you choose to ignore them. Instead you place the biggest bandage you can find on Steve’s wound, trying to convince yourself that those flutters are unrelated to the man standing before you.

“There you go." You whisper with a smile as you lightly tap Steve's cheek. “All better.”

“Thank you, doc,” Steve breathes out, seemingly relieved with the sweetest smile on his face.

“Anytime.” You smile brighter back, and your nose scrunches in return.

And for whatever reason, he lightly squeezes your hips at that. It was almost like he was telling you he liked that. But being the most afraid and oblivious people you are, you guys don't address it and instead decide to go on with your movie night like nothing happened.

You hop off the counter with Steve's arms still wrapped around you, hovering for a bit as he makes sure you are stable before letting go. You quickly glanced up at his face,, a question in your eyes as he doesn’t normally touch you this much, only to find that he was already looking at you.

Panicking, you quickly avert your eyes, walk out of the bathroom, and head to the kitchen to start heating up some popcorn.

The rest of the night goes on like this: sneaking glances at each other—that you thought the other didn't notice—without actually saying what was on each other's minds.

Maybe one day you guys won't be as clueless or scared about your feelings for each other, but for now, you’ll just sit on the couch. Pretending to be engaged in some movie while actually being more interested with the person seated next to you.

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ruukina · 9 months

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WOLFISH

FANDOM: final fantasy xvi PAIRING: clive rosfield x reader ( gender neutral, afab ) RATING: explicit / 18+. minors dni. SUMMARY: After an exhausting week of running around Valisthea, you return home with your heart full and missing a certain outlaw. What you find upon your return is different... but not unwelcomed. WARNINGS: slightly rough sex, dirty talking, breeding kink, implied heat cycle. WORD COUNT: 7.7k

A/N: yeah i'm fairly down bad for this man. i normally don't write reader fics but i'm trying to expand my horizons so. here we are. gotta feed myself in this economy right?? expect more ffxvi stuff, whether its reader insert or other shit because the brainworms are very bad.

read on ao3!

It’s a silent ride back to Hideaway, as it always is on these solo missions of yours.

It’s not a common thing, but every so often you find yourself having to run around all of Valisthea with the job of making payments and collecting orders from the many kind souls that have been helping the cause that even keeps your personal home afloat. In fact, you could even say as Cid’s personal advisor, this was your main job; Otto was busy running the Hideaway and keeping it in check, so the job fell to you when you weren’t tailing after the man you worked under.

You also didn’t mind it, because it meant you had some time to yourself. You had the wind at your back, the smell of sea water to keep you company, and you could be in your thoughts alone.

Usually you didn’t mind it, at the very least.

It’s not a long task to do or even a hard one, in fact you’d argue that most of your time spent there is arguing with the likes of Martha and Isabelle and even L’ubor to accept the gil that Cid himself has offered to give them, but this month’s mission of yours was different. It seemed like a certain boss of yours had racked up a few requests and the people he graciously helped either wanted to give him a reward or send a letter to ask for more help. And since you were unfortunately playing messenger, it meant that you were basically running around and doing his job… in the sense of gathering the requests and gifts, of course.

So, you were being a little delayed in returning. You made sure to send a Stolas, to let everyone know you weren’t dead - just incredibly busy.

But now you finally found yourself on the ferry back home and you were impatient to get back. Excited to get back to everyone, excited to finally be returning after about a week of having to travel by Chocobo to get to everywhere.

Excited to return back to him.

“Hey, Obolus, are we almost there yet?” You peer over to the ferryman, the wind wilding through your hair.

Obolus didn’t even look back at you, as he ‘tsks’ in response. “We’ll get there when we get there. Asking every five seconds won’t make the boat go any faster.”

You scrunch your nose at him, but he did unfortunately have a point. The trip usually never feels so long, but after being away for what seems like months, you were just anxious to get back and rest your feet. The silence of the ride passes, with only the sound of waves pressing against the exterior of the boat.

You lean against the side and take the chance to reflect on all that’s happened. All that you’ve experienced.

All that you’ve done.

You don’t really remember when you became Cid’s advisor. It’s had to have been years at this point, you remember only barely being what one would call an adult. You were a bearer without a brand, hiding your magic behind crystals. It’s what your father had taught you, to protect you from the cruel world you were born in. You were cursed, your mother refused to even acknowledge your existence - even more so after the death of your father. You only lived the way that you did because your mother loved your father more than she loved you, and made your father take care of you.

Your father never gave up on you. An idealist in a world of realists, he really thought you could be the one to change the world.

He set himself up for failure, you bitterly had thought when news of his death arrived at your doorstep. He died for a cause he believed in, sure, but now he expected you to carry on that torch for him. And maybe there was a part of you that wanted to fight for a better world than the one you were handed, for those like you. You weren’t really sure what your true feelings were at that time.

There was one thing you did know, however; you knew you weren’t safe in your mother’s care, so you ran the day after your father’s passing and never looked back. You’re not even sure if your mother is even still alive or if she even misses you. Did she start anew, start all over with someone else and have a child she could be proud of?

As the years went on, you found that you didn’t even care. You can’t remember her face anymore.

You were crafty, a trickster, because that’s what kept you alive. Somehow, your paths with Cidolfus Telamon crossed. Not just once or twice, but five times. Four times, you rejected his appraisal and invitation to join him.

On the fifth path crossed, and the day he saved you from death, you finally joined him. You didn’t really expect to stay long in Hideaway, only thinking you would spend a few weeks or even a month before you jumped ship. You never stayed in one place for long, because it was always too dangerous for you to attach yourself to people. But everyone was so kind, so nice to you, and welcomed you with open arms.

Especially Cidolfus.

You clung to him a lot, maybe because despite only meeting him five times he was the only person you really knew, and somehow you managed to become his advisor with your skills and your ability to pull him back to the ground. Otto was against it at first, not because he didn’t like you, but you were barely an adult. Yet, Cid had smiled and patted you on the shoulder, telling Otto that there was more to you than meets the eye.

It’s much more than what your mother gave you. Worthless, unneeded, dirty, sinful - that’s all that she had called you. Your own father would try and raise your spirits, but her words were sharp as a knife and they cut wounds in your wrists. Weeks turned into months, months turned into years, and you stayed. You stayed with the people who would become your family.

One day, Cid left with Goetz and the wolf he ( or rather, charon ) cared for, because of rumors of Shiva’s Dominant finally rising in a place where he can finally catch her, to give her the freedom she needed. He came back with Goetz carrying a girl on his back, and a branded man with the wolf practically attached to his hip.

Clive Rosfield.

You didn’t realize it at the time, but the man before you would change your life completely.

Cid introduced you to him, asking you to watch over him and help him adjust to the Hideaway. It’s almost funny to think about, because despite Clive’s grumblings about ‘not staying long’ ( words that echoed in your head as familiar, because you had said the same thing ), when you finally got track of him again, he was out helping the people of Hideaway.

You made a joke about that and he quickly looked away, some colour on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. It was a cute sight, unsightly for a rugged man like him. Despite his appearances, he was kind and soft, albeit a bit cynical from the hardships he faced in his life. Then you ended up helping him help people, because there wasn’t much to do at that time and you needed to stretch your legs, and that’s how Cid decided on his great idea to make Clive your personal assistant.

Clive then realized when Cid told him you ran him ragged, he meant it, because once Cid assigned Clive to you, it didn’t take you long to get him working because as long as someone could move, they could work. But of course, you joined Clive on his journey to help him out. Some days you had to stay at Hideaway but for the most part, you were at his side alongside Cid.

You and Clive bonded together. Quick whips with one another, long nights together trying to figure out your next course of action with the Mothercrystals and how to save Valisthea, and slowly he became someone you… well, liked, essentially. You don’t exactly make friends with people, because you’ve never really had the chance to do so, but somehow Clive stabbed his way into your life and heart.

He became softer with you, and you did too. You found it was easy to smile with him, to laugh with him, to love him. It scared you, because Clive was a Dominant - the second, mysterious Eikon of Fire, and yet something so much more than that. It was basically a target on your back, even more so than the relationship you had with Cid.

But you found that you couldn’t stop loving him, that you would endure the burning world for him. Maybe that scared you more.

He held you when you sobbed and broke down over Cid - the first time your mask of being strong ever cracked. You hated it, you hated being weak, because Cid didn’t need weak people helping him. Cid needed someone who could put themselves back together, but this time you couldn’t. The pieces of you were scattered all over the floor like glass and every time you picked one up, you cut your hand and let the blood drip from your wound.

Yet, Clive held you. He held you close, he didn’t judge you, because he was crying alongside you. Cid meant so much to everyone, including him. You sat in his arms, and he didn’t leave until he knew he could leave you alone without worrying over you. His gentleness contrasted his roughened up look, he looked at you so softly and filled with fondness towards you. He was not afraid to help pick up the pieces, even if it meant cutting his hands in the process.

He put you back together, and he didn’t complain about it. Not even once.

Your relationship with him bloomed. Your friendship with him became something new, something else. It was a dangerous love, because of who Clive Rosfield is - what he is. Yet, you never swayed. You never faltered.

No matter what, he’s Clive to you.

But in public, he is Cid and you are Cid’s advisor - like you always were. You two were professional on the outside, only sneaking away to shed those titles when you had enough time to. You didn’t get those chances a lot, but when you did he made sure to treat you like you were a deity. You’ve had lovers in the past, but they never made you feel like Clive made you feel. He made you feel loved, appreciated, cared for. You took care of him, but he always took care of you in return. He never simply just took, he always gave back.

No wonder you were anxious to get back to him; you’ve missed him dearly.

“We’re approaching the Hideaway!”

The ferryman’s voice pulls you from your thoughts. You open your eyes, quickly looking towards the horizons. Even in the blackest of nights, with the moon being your only light, you could see the shape of the broken down airship that you and everyone else called home. You could feel the smile creeping on your face.

“I’m home,” you whisper.

To who exactly? Not yourself, but to the man who was waiting for you.

You thank Obolus for the ride home as you step off of the boat, quickly rushing up the stairs. Most people had turned in for the night so there were only a few souls still haunting the Hideaway, and they offered their greetings to you and a cheery ‘welcome back, advisor!’, to which you returned with a smile.

You feel a little silly rushing through the halls, like an eager child, but you were happy to be home.

You were happy about seeing him again.

You skid to a stop when you reached your destination. The Tub and Crown was a bit of a ghost town around this time, but you knew there were still a few people aside from Maeve haunting the area.

And you weren’t wrong. There sat Gav and Jill, with Torgal laying at Jill’s side. The hound lifts his head up at the sound of your footsteps, and once he lays his eyes on you he quickly stands up and rushes over towards you with a happy sounding bark. Since becoming Clive’s partner, Torgal never really left your side either. If he wasn’t with his owner or Jill, he was shuffling at your hip and following you around.

“Torgal!” You greet happily, kneeling on the ground to pet him and spoil him with some treats you carried on hand once you got close enough to where the two sat.

The two break from their conversation to see what Torgal was barking at, both of them greeting you with a smile on their faces.

“Well, if it ain’t our favorite advisor!” Gav slams his drink down. He looks you over, peering at the basket of gifts and requests at your side - all for a certain someone. “Talk about bein’ fashionably late. You weren’t kiddin’ when you said almost everyone in Valisthea was keepin’ you away.”

Jill nods her head in agreement, cupping her own chin to look over the heavy basket. “It sounds like you’ve had quite the adventure yourself.”

“Oh, it was the same ol’ stuff I deal with everyday. Just this time everyone in Valisthea caught wind that Cid’s advisor was in town and decided to make it their problem.” You rub Torgal’s belly, to which the hound accepts with happy pants.

Speaking of the aforementioned man… You look to the side of Gav. No handsome brooding man there.

You look to the side of Jill. No handsome brooding man there, either.

“Where is Clive?” You stop petting Torgal for a moment. “I figured he would be hanging out with you.”

Gav rolls his eyes a little, both good naturedly but also in some slight annoyance. “Went right to his chambers to work on things when we got back. He’s been in a bloody mood all week.” The scout holds up a finger. “Scowlin’ more than usual, more antsy than usual, tappin’ his foot while he waits at the door.” Every reason is met with a finger going up. “Not like everyone is afraid of him here, but it felt like we had to walk on eggshells around him. Even Charon was tryin’ not to rib him so hard.”

You blink a little, a brow raised. “Has the missions been going poorly or something?”

“Fuck no,” Gav shakes his head in response. “Everything’s been going smoothly. He’s just been actin’ like a shite.”

“He hasn’t been that bad,” counters Jill. Though, there’s a slight pause of hesitation from her. “But Gav isn’t wrong, he has been in a bit of a mood. More than likely, he was just worried about you.”

Worried about you? It’s not like you can’t handle yourself, and you’ve definitely been on missions longer than a week without him. You can’t help but scrunch your nose in thought - as always, when you’re thinking hard. Something was up with him, clearly.

Jill reads you like a book, with a smile on her face. “He’s still up, last time I checked. He’s burying his nose in reports as to distract himself. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the visit from you.” She stands up from her seat, as Torgal also rolls over and trots back to her side. “I’ve got some work to do with Tarja, but it was nice seeing you tonight.”

You nod your head, standing up and dusting yourself off. “Tarja, huh? Try not to stay up too late with her, alright?” You laugh a little when Shiva’s dominant huffs softly at your teasing, giving you just a gentle nudge in return. The two of you have gotten quite close over the years, and she was supportive of you and Clive. You felt like you could sigh in relief at that, that you didn’t have to worry about Clive’s childhood friend coming after you.

Gav finishes his drink, standing up as well. “I’m turnin’ in for the night.” He pats your shoulder with a grin on his face. “Make sure you give our leader a nice, warm welcome!”

He only grins harder seeing your cheeks turn red like a tomato at the implication of his words, and Jill’s soft laughter only makes you turn ever redder. Ah, there was your punishment for teasing Jill. The three of them make their way out of the alehouse, your eyes following them as you think about your conversation.

He’s in a mood.

What could he be in a mood about? You’ll have to do some digging, which isn’t hard - if there’s one thing Clive is with you that not even a sour mood could change, it’s that he was honest with you. It’s one of his best traits, really, that he’s open with his feelings and doesn’t usually shy away from speaking his mind about certain things. It’s not always easy, because there are some things he keeps to his chest, but for the most part communication is always important between you two. You pick up the basket of gifts and quickly make it to the end of the hall, where Clive’s chambers were.

And well, they were technically your chambers too, you think with the heat growing at your cheeks once more.

Shifting the basket a little, you use your free hand to knock on his chamber doors - once, twice and thrice.

“The door’s unlocked.” Clive’s low voice fills your ears. He already has you sighing and letting out a quivering breath. Founder, you’ve missed him.

You open the door with a smile on your face. You take in the sights before you - his room is as you left it, with the man himself seated at the desk. He seems to be burying himself in his usual reports and paperwork, just as Jill said. He didn’t even lift his head upon you entering.

“Guess who.” You smile, as you close the door behind you.

The sound of your voice has Clive immediately lift his head from his work. Cerulean eyes widened, the quill he was using drops from between his fingers and clattering on the desk.

“You’re back.” He sounds almost breathless. His chest raises a little as he breathes in and out, those cerulean eyes of him looking a lot more puppy-dog than usual.

This was different, indeed.

You walk towards him, placing the basket on the edge of the desk not covered in scattered papers. “Just got back. Gifts for you by the way, I was hunted down by weary souls who wanted to give their thanks to the so-called Cid the Outlaw.” You peer at him with a gentle, loving smile on your face.

He laughs a little in response, a rare smile forming on his own features. “No wonder you’re late. Sorry about that. I’ll be sure to pen my thanks to them soon.”

You shake your head at him. “Oh, don’t even start with the apologies. It’s my job to aid you, it’s kind of in the title.” A pause, shifting your feet a little as you hold your hands behind your back, shyly. “And… you know I’ll do anything for you, Clive.”

The words you whisper made him smile a little more. “You have perfect timing. I’m actually finishing up and I could use your advice.” He nudges his chair back a little, gently patting his thigh.

For a moment, you stare with a tilted head, until you realize the implications. Your cheeks turn red.

Oh, he’s inviting you to sit there.

Oh, this was different, indeed.

But you don’t hesitate or falter at all. You take a seat on his thigh, leaning against him. One of his strong arms wraps themselves around your waist, pulling your body flushed against his. The position is a little embarrassing, you have to admit to yourself, but it feels warm, comforting - loving. It doesn’t take long for you to fall back into place, flipping through the letters and offering your advice and help to him.

It also doesn’t take long for Clive to stop paying attention. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent. His hot breath tickles your skin, a shiver running down your spine, as his fingers draw circles in your hip. His lips ghosts around your skin, pressing the gentlest of kisses to your neck as though he was whispering forbidden words in your skin. The quill from his fingers once again falls onto the desk, the reports forgotten about as his attention shifts to you. It’s hard to focus when he’s like this, so you decide to also forget about the many papers that littered his desktop.

“Jill and Gav told me you were in a mood.” You finally shift the conversation to what was really on your mind.

Clive only offers a grunt at first. “I’m not really in a mood.”

“Are you? You’re acting a little differently tonight.” Your fingers run through his hair, out of his eyes. “What’s on your mind, Clive? You know you can tell me.”

For a moment, he hesitates, but he knows he doesn’t like keeping secrets from you. You know he doesn’t like keeping secrets from you. He pulls you close to him, finally lifting his head to look you in the eye.

“I was fine when you left, but after a day, it felt like there was a pit in my stomach.” Clive runs his fingers up and down your hip. “Hunger, I suppose, is the best way to describe it.”

“Hunger?”

“I felt like I couldn’t focus with you gone. It was worse when I was here alone. Your scent was so much stronger than it usually was…” Clive recounts, averting his gaze for a moment from slight embarrassment, but he quickly focuses back on you. “The more days you were away, the more the hunger grew.”

“And the grouchier you got?” You tease him, though your tease was cut short and replaced with a slight yelp when he pinches your thigh with a huff.

“I wasn’t grouchy.” He counters, but his tone of voice sounds like he’s not exactly fighting the accusation.

You think about what he’s said, though. A hunger he felt for you. It started happening when you first left. He found that your scent was stronger than normal, even when you weren’t there. The symptoms sounded fairly familiar to you, and you hummed a little in thought as you ran your fingers through his hair. He groaned in delight at that, leaning into your touch and burying his face in the crook of your neck once more.

“Maybe you’re going through a rut?”

Clive lifts his head up. “A rut? I’m not a dog, love.”

“I mean, you travel with a dog, you constantly have a permanent puppy-dog eyes look on you and you turn into a dog-lizard thing. You’re kind of dog-adjacent.” You shrug cheekily, with an equally cheeky smile on your face. “But I’m serious about the last thing. We don’t know a whole lot about Ifrit. Maybe it’s going through some kind of rut or something and it’s affecting you. It is springtime, you know. Maybe nature is just setting course for Ifrit, too.”

It’s a pretty plausible theory. Clive stops to think about it for a brief moment, his breath tickling your neck once more as you sigh. Still, he says nothing at first and pauses his movements, until he looks right back up at you, his gaze meeting yours.

“You do realize the implications of your theory, right?” His pupils are blown out, more than usual. His strong, calloused hands grip your hips, shifting you a little so your lower half is flushed right against his.

Oh, there’s something pressing against you. Your body warms up, a heat and ache pooling right in your core.

You didn’t realize how much you miss his body pressing against yours in such a sinful manner, until he rolls his hips against yours in want and need.

“I meant what I said,” you begin to say, your hands gripping to his shoulders as you slowly grind against the bulge in his pants, meeting his hips’ movements. You couldn’t help but grin a little when he moaned lowly, a sound just for you. “You know I’ll do anything for you, Clive.”

That’s all you’re able to get out at that point, because once you give him permission to do what he needs to do, Clive’s lips press against yours. It was only a sweet, soft kiss for a for seconds at best, because it quickly turned into something fierce, hungry. His tongue prods against your lips, wanting access into your warm mouth, and you gladly part your lips for him, because you need him as much as he needs you. Your tongue presses and swirls against his - it’s a small battle for dominance you never win, but you know he likes a small challenge. His own tongue presses and pins yours, until you ease away to let him completely take the reins.

The kiss is hot, wet, truly sinful. His hands grope everywhere he could, mostly squeezing at your thighs and hips with his fingers digging into your soft, plump flesh until they found their way to your rear. Squeezing and grabbing, groping in such a way that would make you flustered had you not been needy with your own arousal, he lifts you up as though you’re made of nothing but feathers, and truly you’re a little limp in his grasp. Clive’s strength always managed to make you feel dizzy, in a good way, and that doesn’t change here. He pushes his chair back, leaving the desk and the many reports he still has to do in the dust and makes his way towards his bed - your shared bed.

He only breaks the kiss to place you down on the mattress, gentle pants leaving both of your lips as a string of saliva connects the two of you. It breaks as he pulls away a little more, only to dive back in and press fluttering, wet kisses to your neck. Just like the kiss from before, it turns into something a little more hot and brutal; his lips suck at your skin to give it a bruising mark, teeth sinking into your flesh to draw just a little bit of blood from you. You groan hotly, your fingers gripping at his dark locks as your hips jolt upwards. Clive licks and kisses at the bruise and bite mark he left, panting gently against your flesh.

“You still taste so, so good.” Clive whispers into your skin, as his hands tug right at your shirt. He tries his best not to rip it, but unbuttoning your shirt during these kinds of acts was never exactly a cleanful tact, because you can already see a few buttons pop off just from him ripping it open. You chuckle a little; some things really don’t change.

Your chest is bared to him, and Clive wastes no time in pressing gentle kisses on naked skin. Trailing down, he kisses, licks and sucks on any skin he could latch himself onto and sinks teeth into your sink that leaves behind a delicious sting of pain, until finally reaching your left breast. Your breath hitches a little as his tongue swirls around the nub of your nipple, the hitched breath morphing into a needy moan once his lips latch around it to give it a gentle suck. His fingers tease and play with the unattended one, his attacks on you relentless and cruel - cruel in the sense he never slowed down.

“Clive.” you whine with a high-pitched voice, trying your best to roll your hips against his. But he doesn’t let you, pinning you down with just his pelvis. He lifts his head up, a smirk on his face.

“Just lay there and let me make you feel good,” whispers Clive. The way his low voice sounded so commanding, you can’t help but obey him. He was always like this, though; he was always chasing for your pleasure and never his own. He loved you, he wanted to make you feel good. It was never really fair! But at the same time, it truly was nice. He was so different from lovers you had in the past, who only cared about their own needs.

He attends to your other breast, giving it the same treatment - a lick here, a suck there, leaving a trail of bruises and bite marks in his wake. Once he’s satisfied, his lips start to trail downwards. He worships you like this, with his lips and his tongue, making sure there’s a patch of skin with his mark on it. His hands make work of your bottoms, pulling off the offending fabric until you were just left in your undergarments. You expect to feel his fingers on your skin so he can pull them down, but instead when you look down, you see Clive is using his teeth to pull them down.

Oh, this is different. Normally he takes his time with you; press himself against you, kiss you all over. Even as someone who prefers to please his partners more than please himself, it seems like tonight he’s impatient.

“Seems like someone’s been wanting this,” chuckles Clive as he spreads your lower lips a little to inspect you. “You’re already so soaked. All I did was tease you a little. Founder, you’re as depraved as I am.” His hot breath hits your wetness as he speaks, never once pressing his lips against you. You jolt a little at the feeling, a soft huff escaping your lips.

“You started this mess,” You tell him, your fingers already gripping in his hair. “You finish it.”

Another chuckle leaves his lips. Clive is impatient, though, and he wastes no time in pressing his lips right against your dripping entrance. His tongue is relentless here just as it was on your skin; it wastes no time in slipping inside of you, as he starts to drink your essence and fuck you with his tongue alone. It’s almost unbearable to you, in a good way - he drinks like a man starved.

Clive is so good to you, but he knows how to be so cruel, because he knows you enjoy it. He knows how easily you melt on his tongue, and he enjoys every single moment of it.

His fingers slip in as well, two of them pumping in and out as he moves upwards a little, finding your clit. The tip of his tongue flicks at it and you feel the smirk against your entrance as soon as you squeak and moan from his actions. He licks, sucks, his movements becoming faster with each second that passes. You’re trying so hard to swallow back your moans, but the moment his lips wrap around your clit and give it a hard suck, you can’t control your volume anymore. It echoes off of the walls, embarrassingly so, but your mind is so fogged that you don’t seem to care like you usually would.

The knot in your lower stomach painfully tightens, you can feel yourself reaching your peak as Clive continues to tease your clit and thrust his fingers in and out of you. Just as you’re about to find your release, though, he abruptly stops. He pulls himself off of you, his fingers are coated with your essence.

“Clive–” You begin to whine, almost in pain. You stop yourself short when you watch him lick his fingers clean - slowly, like he’s putting on a show for you. Once they’re clean, he looks at you as though he’s a predator who has caught prey in his trap. The slight darkness of the room makes his cerulean eyes have a glow to them. The knot in your stomach returns.

He intends to devour you, his way. He’s going to drag this out, until you’re begging and crying for release.

Clive crawls back onto the bed, his hands moving to undo all of the leathers and fabric of his clothing, until he’s as bare as you are. His cloak and shirt go first, dropping onto the ground until his chest is revealed to you. Greagor, you could probably write several missives about Clive’s chest and muscles, but despite what your lover may say, you’re not that depraved. You keep all of those thoughts to yourself, like a good advisor should. Your eyes drift down with his hands, watching as they fumble a little with his belt, stifling a laugh from how needy and excited he is.

You stop laughing once he finally does undo his belt and pull his pants down, revealing his hard cock to you. You’ve seen it before, it’s been inside of you multiple times now, but you still hitch your breath when you see it. The gods certainly graced Clive with something to brag about, for certain.

If you ever do meet Ultima maybe you should thank him for giving his vessel something that would make you cross your eyes and forget your own name, but something tells you a narcissistic god obsessed with the purity of his vessel may not appreciate the sonnets a mere mortal would write about said vessel’s cock.

Pre-cum dribbles at the tip, his fingers coated in a mix of his saliva and your juices as he uses it to his advantage to stroke himself a little, to really give you a show now. You hear yourself panting, your chest heaving up and down as you watch the sinful sight before you.

“Enjoying yourself?” Clive smirks, smugness in his voice.

You huff a little in response. “I’ll only enjoy myself when you actually fuck me instead of showing off, Rosfield.”

He laughs a little, leaning down to kiss your forehead sweetly. “As my faithful advisor commands.”

You have no time to respond, as he quickly flips you so you’re on your stomach, face slightly pressed against the pillow beneath you. He presses his front against your back, the tip of his cock pressing against your wet folds teasingly. Your needy whine and rear thrusting back to try and get him inside of you earns a laugh from him, but thankfully he’s not intensely cruel tonight. He presses inside of you, though it’s not as slow as he normally is. Normally he takes his time with you, but in just seconds he’s got his entire length inside of you. You feel the way his body shudders against your back, your soaked walls clenching around him. A sigh passes your lips, morphing into a moan.

You’ve missed this. You’ve missed him.

His thrusts are slow at first, but it doesn’t take him long for him to pick up his speed. His hips meet your backside, a wonderful symphony of skin slapping against each other fills the room, loud enough to make your ears burn with embarrassment. You bury your face in the pillow to muffle your moans. A hand wraps itself around the back of your neck, though, to pull you up towards its owner. Clive’s heavy breath is in your ear now, worsening your arousal.

“Don’t hide your voice from me,” pants Clive, sharp teeth nibbling at your earlobe. “I want to hear you.”

And you find that you can’t deny him. Your moans are loud, needy, your knuckles turning white from how roughly you’re gripping the sheets to the point where they might tear. His other hand snakes down your stomach, reaching your lower half, and his fingers make work on your clit. It’s a slow rub, his thrusts contrasting the gentleness of his fingers. You can feel yourself reaching your peak, you can feel the knot in your stomach tightening and tightening until–

Until he pulls right out of you.

You whine, loudly, at the loss. Your walls clench at nothing, and you try to thrust yourself back towards him, but Clive doesn’t let you do that. Instead, he flips you both again - him on his back and you sitting on his lap. He looks up at you with a smile, his hand running up and down your stomach once more.

“I know exactly what you like.” The outlaw says, pulling you forward so his cock rests right against your stomach. You feel how hot it is, how hard it is, and how it throbs and pulsates against your skin. “Show me how much you want to cum.”

Oh, he’s definitely dragging this out as long as he can. You can’t exactly blame him, you don’t want this to end either.

But you also really need to reach your peak, otherwise you may burn the whole Hideaway down.

Your wobbly legs manage to hold yourself up, slowly moving down on him. Your whole body shudders as his cock fills you up again, the tip pressing against the deepest parts of your inside. You move up and down on his length, moans and pants spilling from your lips as you decide to not hide your voice any longer - because he wants to hear you. And you can’t deny him, because you don’t want to deny him.

“Founder, your voice alone drives me mad.” Clive growls, his hand squeezing your thigh as he thrusts upwards to meet your own movements. “Tried to focus on my work, tried to put you out of my head for days, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I needed you blissed out on my cock–”

He’s rambling, his voice low and rough, and you love every second of it. Clive’s not much of a talker, but when he is, he makes you feel so depraved for him. Your legs were starting to shake and feel weak already, but you push yourself - you push yourself because you want this. Because you need this from him, just as much as he needed this from you.

“Clive,” you chant his name like a prayer, over and over again. You must sound delirious.

But Clive clearly doesn’t seem to mind, the way his back arches a little just from the sound of your sweet voice. It’s a powerful feeling, you realize, having such a powerful man like him weak at you - a mere mortal, a bearer but not a Dominant. Yet, it’s a good reminder that beneath everything, Clive is a mortal man as well.

“Can you feel me, sweetheart?” He places his hand on your lower stomach, feeling the way it bulges a little from the sheer size of him. You look down, shuddering at the sight as he continues to thrust upwards, your eyes following how the bulge disappears then reappears. “You take me so fucking well. It’s like you were made for me, the way you shake your hips like a woman at the Veil.”

You can’t respond, any time you try to all that fumbles from your lips are moans and whines of pure pleasure.

“I can get so deep into you like this,” groans Clive, his other hand grasping at your hip. “All the way into you. Fuck, I could breed you right here. I could make you swell with my child.”

Oh, that’s different.

And it’s clearly a good different, the way your body responds. Your walls clench around him, as if your body had a mind of its own, as if your body was begging for the man to breed you. He notices too, and he licks his lips and smirks once he realizes you may enjoy the idea as he did.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Another thrust upwards. His thrusts are getting sloppier and rougher, but Greagor does it feel so good. “I wouldn’t be able to control myself, seeing you like that. I’d fuck you every single day–”

You moan, so lecherously. “Clive, fuck, I’m going to cum!”

Both hands grab at your hips, fingers digging and sinking into your skin so hard you know there’s going to be some bruising there in the morning. But you don’t care. All you care about is the man underneath you, and chasing after your own release. Clive makes you move faster onto him, a growl rumbling from his throat.

“Go on, let yourself go.”

You were already so overstimulated from the foreplay from before, and the way his cock brushes against your sweet spots and bashes against the entrance to your womb, you can’t help it. Your walls tighten around him, and you let yourself go.

Another growl rumbles from his throat, this time he pulls you right down onto him, hard. It doesn’t take him long to follow you into a blissful climax, his hot seed pouring into you and flooding your insides. It’s a lot, more than usual, to the point where it floods out from your entrance and onto him.

You collapse onto him, and he instantly takes you in his arms. Slowly, he flips your positions again, just so he can press himself deeper into you. Thank the Founder, because your legs were about to give out.

A moment passes, until he finally pulls himself out from you. His blown out pupils watch as his seed overflows from you, dripping onto the sheets beneath you. He shudders at the sight, and you can’t help but shudder as well.

You’re fading in and out of existence, but when you mostly come to, Clive has wiped you and him down, cleaning you up and gently pressing kisses against any marks he’s left on you. The sheets will unfortunately have to wait until tomorrow. Frankly, you could give less of a shit about that.

The outlaw slumps himself against you, pulling you into his arms. You both lay there in a comfortable silence, as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“Thank you.” His voice trembles, a little embarrassed - that’s the Clive you know. “I’ll, uh, make sure Tarja prepares a herbal tea for you tomorrow, so that you don’t…” He trails off, hiding his face against your neck even more now.

You chuckle, feeling the hotness of his cheeks against your skin. “Feeling better?”

“Yes,” answers the male as he lifts his head up with a smile. “Much better. You always seem to know how to cure my worries and needs.”

“What can I say? I know my boss pretty well.”

He laughs, and your heart feels so warm, so in love with the man before you. Clive leans in, pressing his lips against yours to share a sweet, innocent kiss that contrasts the sinful act you both just partook in. And you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around him. You only stop when you feel something hard rub against your thigh, pulling back to see he was still pretty aroused. He’s a little sheepish at that, but he looks at you in want, in need - and love, as always.

“I don’t think one time is going to be enough for you, big guy.”

A sheepish laugh falls from his lips. “I don’t think so either. I might need a few more rounds. That is, if my faithful advisor is up to it.”

He’s challenging you, clearly. The smirk on his face tells you all you need to know. You smirk back, bucking your hips against his to accept.

“Only if you do most of the work.” You tell him, a leg going in to wrap itself around his waist. “You made me weak in my knees, Lord Rosfield. A gentleman should take some responsibility for his actions.”

His low chuckle reaches your ears, as he leans in to press his forehead against yours. It’s a tender action, one that definitely makes you feel weak in the knees - if you hadn’t already. It doesn’t take him long to reenter you, and you can’t hide the shudder of your slightly overstimulated body.

But you want everything he has to offer, the good and the bad of Clive Rosfield, and he’ll give it to you.

Because he wants everything you have to offer, the good and the bad of his faithful advisor, in return.

“As you wish, my love.”

He claims your lips. The night goes on.

“Somethin’ seems to be on your mind.”

Jill looks towards the source of the voice. Gav stands next to her, arms crossed as he meets her gaze with a raised brow. The Dominant says nothing to him, only slowly returning her gaze to where she once was looking. Gav’s line of sight follows hers, landing right on the scene that was unfolding before them.

“Clive, I’m trying to do work!”

Hideaway’s poor advisor was currently trying to shake an overgrown Cid the Outlaw off of them, who has currently draped himself over you. It had been a single day since you had returned from your trip and needless to say, Clive was acting as though you had been gone for years. Arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against yours.

“Nothing is stopping you from doing your work,” is all Clive remarks with, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Except for a fucking overgrown dog!”

Gav whistles at the sight before him. “Someone seems to be in a good mood.”

“Indeed,” nods Jill, her gaze never leaving the both of you. Right now you were trying to walk away, which resulted in you basically having to drag the second Eikon of fire around because he refused to let himself off of you. “But, I can’t help but wonder if this is worse than the mood he was in before.”

The scout shrugs his shoulders. “Our advisor has dealt with worse from him. And we don’t have to deal with him slobberin’ all over us, so I’d say a good mood is better than nothin’.”

The woman says nothing. She knows it’s going to be a few days before Clive will return to his normal self, if your theory about why he’s been moody all week rings true. Such things don’t end with a simple, pleasurable night. You’ll be fine, she knows that, so she’s not too worried that you won’t be able to handle Clive Rosfield.

It’s in your job description, after all.

( she’ll still pray to metia for you, at the very least, and hope you come out unscathed. )

#final fantasy xvi #ffxvi #clive rosfield x reader #clive x reader #clive rosfield #🌙.txt #🌙 seren's writings

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luciddreamingcrow · 1 year

Text

Abandoned by The Creator{Sagau}

Summery: After your friend decided to move on from genshin they give you their acc to play with.

Some context before reading!!: in this sagau the characters see their original owner of the acc as the creator

Gene & Warnings: angst(?), fluff, themes of abandonment, also I most likely misscharacterized some characters here and there!

After some more weeks they still haven't lost hope, they still waited in the same spot that they were left at. The creators mains started to panic wandering if they weren't enough for them, blaming themselves for what happened.

•✧⊰

After a few days passed and still nothing, why isn't the creator coming back? Every single character was thinking why would they abandon them? We're they doing to low dmg? Weren't they good enough? Are they ok behind the screen? They couldn't think of any other reason why the creator was gone, at the 30th day of the creator not logging in the characters assumed that they were just burned out and were just busy, they'll come back eventually.

But atlas they logged in! But it wasn't the creator that logged in, but it was you, they have heard of you when the creator would talk to you or text you, your characters would visit their world and defeat bosses together once in a while, but where's the creator? Why are you here instead of the creator? Where is the creator in the first place? Has the creator abandoned them? Everything was so confusing but they still were obeying your commands (well not everyone) doing the daily commissions quests etc. Some of them rebelled against your wishes, like for example:

Whenever you'd pres W to walk they would disobey and use their still or their burst out of spite just to annoy you,

or when you'd cook they would never give you a bonus or their specialty,

or whenever you'd enchant a artifact they would purposely try to get the artifact to land on flat defense or hp and never the substat you want.

But this rebellion wouldn't last for that long, because eventually they would notice the amount of effort you are putting on them, from the way you pamper them with new artifacts, new weapons or even giving them some precious constellations, some of them even got a place specifically made for them in the teapot.

But not every main reacted the same way to this major change

•✧⊰

✧°These characters accepted the fact that the creator won't return and made peace with it and in the end accepted you as their new creator, for now they are enjoying the luxuries that you are gifting them, but there's still a hint of yearning for their first creator:

Kokomi, Kazuha, Albedo, Candice, Thoma, Yungin, Nilou, Ningguang, Xiangling, Yanfei, Layla.

✧°These characters accepted the fact that the creator won't return but they are still way too emotionally attached the the creator but they try to move on and be thankful that they have someone else to take care of them but they are afraid to get too attached to you:

Diluc, Noelle, Kayea, Sucrose, Yaoyao, Yae Miko.

✧°At first they refused that the creator isn't coming back, always hoping that one day they'll be back, but after a long period of time they accept that the creator just won't come back. They may have accepted this fact and might accept the fact that now you are the creator and cherish you but their harts will belong to the first creator and nobody else:

Ayaka, Jean, Nahida, Alhaitham, Beidou, Thoma, Barbara.

✧°These characters need a bit more time to process this huge change, they are still confused and unsure whether not to trust you, will you abandon them like the creator did? They are not sure but give them some time and they will warm up eventually:

Itto, Shenhe, Ganyu, Tighnari, Bennett, Ei, Xingqiu, Yelan, Kuki Shinobu, Sara, Lisa.

✧°These characters wouldn't show any sign of sadness or confusion but they feel betrayed beyond words, and how dare the creator abandon them! Doesn't the creator have at least pity on them? after what they have been though? They would most likely side with the new creator out of spite just to "show" the first creator what they are missing because they "choose" to abandon them:

(more mad than sad) Scaramouche, Diona, Ayato(?), Rosaria.

(more sad than mad) Fischl, Childe, Mona, Xiao.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x y/n #genshin x reader #genshin x you #fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin sagau #sagau x reader #sagau impostor au #yandere sagau #sagau villain au #diluc sagau #scaramouche sagau

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kayas-kosmos · 1 year

Text

Autism Symbol Dragon.

This is the autism symbol as a dragon. I did this to represent the influence my autism has on my art. This is a public domain drawing and anyone can use it for any reason.

I really like the infinity autism symbol over all others, especially the Godawful puzzle piece. It really encapsulates the diversity of our community and how unique every autistic individual is. But I wanted to do a little spin on it by turning it into a dragon to add some extra meaning. A dragon to me is the symbol of the imagination itself, since dragons are so diverse in of themselves and can look like or represent anything. But as well as imagination, I think the dragon also represent resilience and a ferocious passion.

My webcomic is absolutely full of different types of dragon. Here are just a few examples:

(Can you tell dragons are one of my special interests?)

I was diagnosed at about 3 and I've had a very mixed relationship with being autistic until recently. There was a time when I really hated having to bear the label of “autistic” and tried for years to erase that part of me because of the stigma. Being an artist allowed me to get away with being a bit weird because I could chalk it up to just being "an eccentric artist," but there was also the side of me that needed extra accommodations and help, the less glamorous side. I would often push myself to be as neurotypical as I could in these areas and I developed a debilitating fear of becoming a burden on others, to the point where it started damaging my mental health. Eventually, I developed panic attacks due to overworking myself (and struggles with accepting myself as queer), autistic shutdowns became more frequent and this lead to further humiliation and a further disgust towards my autism.

It wasn't until I became a freelancer a few years ago that I realised how much damage trying to hold myself to neurotypical standards was having on me. While being able to work remotely was a dream since it meant not having to deal with the sensory nightmare that is using the local bus service, it also meant I experienced autistic burnout more frequently. Then I came across the autistic community on Twitter, where I started to discover so much about myself and how my brain works.

I also made a lot of incredible friends through this and even had the courage to publicly come out as queer. Now I fully embrace being autistic, even the parts that society deems “unacceptable” like stimming and not making eye contact. I am happy in who I am and no longer see myself as a burden.

Sadly, there is often a discussion about whether autism should be cured or not, a discussion that should absolutely not be happening because autism is not a disease. If you "cured" my autism, you would also remove my art. My art and my autism are inseparable and one does not exist without the other. Autism has given me the ability to think outside the box and traits like my monotropism allow me to hyperfocus on a project until its completion. Having spoken to many autistic creatives throughout my life, a good chunk of our struggles do not come from being autistic itself, rather society’s refusal to accept or accommodate us. Many of us could achieve great things and truly innovate society, but there are too many systemic barriers in the way preventing us from doing so, and no amount of “hard work” or “conquering our disability” (fuck inspiration porn, seriously) can change that because individualistic solutions do not fix systemic problems. Simple solutions such as disability benefits that actually properly cover our living costs, a higher wage for carers of disabled people and proper work accommodations (including the option for remote work) would mean the world of difference for us.

Now personally, I am a bit more radical in my thinking and I believe the current system of Neoliberal Capitalism needs to be done away with entirely because ableism is built into Capitalism itself. This is what has drawn me to ideas such as anarchism and the Solarpunk movement. In particular, I try to live by the "12 principles of Permaculture" to the best of my ability. I think "Embrace Diversity" and "Produce No Waste" can be applied to living as a disabled person, since disabled people are often seen as a waste product under this system and embracing our differences means we are not wasted.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you may have noticed that my art, like me, is weird. I love to embrace the weird and the quirky. My creatures are whimsical and bizarre. My characters all tend to be quirky outsiders. I have always been drawn to surrealism and absurdism, the work of Salvador Dali in particular really caught my attention.

Art has always been a safe way for me to explore the unusual and alien, and it has been a voice for me when speaking words fail. I use it to explore the things that frighten me and to help process a chaotic world. As weird as my art is, I think the weirdness and absurdity is a reflection of how weird and absurd our modern world is and how little sense it makes to me anymore.

There are often themes of environmentalism and the profound beauty of nature, influenced heavily by growing up in an area of natural beauty. Furthermore, the theme of "empathy for monsters" is a personal favourite. Maybe the reason why there are so many weird, twisted and grotesque monsters and creatures with tragic backstories in my webcomic universe is because I see myself in them - just weird little off-putting things that want compassion and to be understood.

As I have grown as a person, so has my art. The more I learn about my autism, the more I can open up and the better I can express myself.

On a final note, if you would like to support me and the work I do, please consider donating a Ko-Fi. It would really help me push towards my goal of finally launching my webcomic, plus it would also allow me to talk more about important topics surrounding disability, sustainable living and art/creature stuff.

Happy new year, everyone! And especially to all of my autistic and neurodivergent comrades out there.

#autism #actually autistic #neurodivergent #queer autistic #autistic artist #fantasy artist #digital artist #fantasy illustration #autism symbol #infinity symbol #creature design #dragon art #dragon artist #autistic art #autism art #permaculture #solarpunk

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blubffsd · 1 year

Text

— WORLDS COLLIDE PT. 4

summary: Your hand was the one he reached for all throughout The Great War.

previous chapter

note: play "The Great War" by Taylor Swift.

@http-isabela <3

Mia lands in Paris, France. It's six in the afternoon on December 20. Kylian's birthday.

Mia feels like she could faint at any moment. She doesn't know if it's because of the nerves she feels that it's her boyfriend's birthday and she still hasn't spoken to him or if it's because of how little she was able to sleep on the plane.

To tell the truth, she is quite anxious to see her boyfriend again but she can't help but feel afraid to face him, she can't wait to know what will happen but at the same time she is terrified to know.

Mia walks out of the airport too tired and deep in thought to notice all eyes on her.

The question that most haunts her head now is whether or not she should text Kylian to let him know that she is already in Paris.

It's a pretty stupid question and one that at another time she wouldn't have had, but she's overthinking too much.

If she sends him a message there will be no way to reverse the situation and she will have no choice but to talk to him. On the other hand, if she does not tell him that she is already there and she regrets it, she can leave and he will never know if she was there or not.

But if she doesn't send a message to Kylian, and she has no regrets she can interrupt his birthday party and see her boyfriend's family again.

Of course she will send him a message.

She typed as fast as her fingers could and hid her phone in her pocket too nervous to want to see his answer.

On the other side of the city, Kylian is at home "celebrating" his 24th birthday, only his family and some close friends are there.

Everyone notices the strange behavior of the birthday boy but most of them refuses to admit that it is due to the absence of his girlfriend.

It can be said that Kylian was present but his mind was not, since the World Cup final he has only thought about Mia and what happened to her, but no one answers his questions.

It's hard for him to admit it but he doesn't feel comfortable being with his family, especially with Melissa and Jires after seeing their tweets, he asked them to delete them as soon as he saw them.

A lot happened in a very short time and he doesn't know what to think about it.

Everyone except Kylian is in the living room talking about different topics enjoying the time together and giving him sneaky looks.

He has been anxious since Mia sent him a message the day before, he held back since he read the message until that moment from calling her and asking for an explanation but he knows her and knows that she is not going to tell him anything, at less not on a call.

A text from Mia letting him know that she's already in Paris is all he needed to calm down.

He knows that everything that happened between his family and Mia has a lot to do with him, but he still doesn't understand why nobody tells him anything.

If he's part of the problem, why doesn't he know about it then?

Kylian has a lot to think about.

His response to his girlfriend's message was a proposal to meet at their shared house in an hour, Mia accepted.

As soon as Mia answered, she went to the house of a close friend who lives near their house.

When he returns to the living room his entire family noticed the sudden change in his mood, and even more so when he begins to insist on singing happy birthday and eating his cake.

He wants everyone to leave as quickly as possible.

And it seems that no one wants to leave him alone.

Of course, Kylian doesn't want his family and Mia to meet, at least not now. But he really wants to see his girlfriend and he didn't think about the fact that his whole family is around.

Ethan, who is sitting next to him, silently analyzes his brother's behavior. He watches how Kylian desperately insists on bringing his birthday cake and how his entire family refuses, saying it's still early.

Kylian, seeing that his family refuses to leave, takes his phone and goes to the kitchen to talk to Mia and ask her to come later.

Ethan goes after him.

—Hey, why in such a rush? do you want us to leave? –his younger brother asks quietly while smiling.

Kylian turns off his phone and turns to look at him hopefully.

Ethan frowns.

The older one nods and the younger one looks at him stupefied.

Despite being somewhat confused, Ethan thinks he has a suspicion of Kylian's insistence.

—Mia is coming, isn't she? –the youngest of the brothers speaks in a low voice again.

Kylian swallows and nods slowly.

—Let's try so she doesn't see us here then.

Kylian looks at him blankly and Ethan rolls his eyes.

—I just told you that I'm going to help you.

The older one is still quite distrustful and confused.

Why would Ethan want to help him? According to him, his little brother was the most eager to face Mia.

—And why do you want to help me?

His older brother's suspicious look hurts Ethan, even though he knows his brother has reason to.

He misbehaved with Mia and he knows it, even though he's trying to make it up.

At least he's trying something.

—I know what I did was wrong, and I don't want you and Mia to get hurt even more because of me.

Kylian softens his gaze and playfully taps his shoulder.

—You were wrong and I'm very angry about it, but it's okay.

Ethan makes an attempt at a smile that ends in a grimace.

—Hey, why are you two whispering? –Fayza looks at them smiling.

The brothers exchange a look and then look at their mom.

—I was apologizing to Kyky because my stomach hurts so much and I want to go home.

Their mom looks at him with a frown.

—But if a moment ago you were eating.

Ethan opens his mouth to reply but is interrupted by Kylian.

—Nothing really hurts him, he was just trying to help me.

Ethan turns to see his older brother, completely surprised, hoping that what he thinks is not going to happen.

Fayza crosses her arms, still frowning, waiting for her second son to speak.

—We were just talking and I told him that I am very tired and I want to sleep but I didn't want to interrupt the party so he wanted to help me saying that so all of you leave me alone and I can sleep.

—How nice of you, Ethan. Go to sleep Ky, we'll be here when you wake up.

Kylian looks at his mother without knowing what to say.

—But mom, let's leave him alone so he can rest easy.

Fayza frowns again.

—There is no way I am letting my son spend the rest of his birthday alone.

—But he wants to be alone, mom. It's not like we're going to abandon him, he wants to end the party and stay alone because he doesn't feel quite right yet and he has to think about the things that happened.

Ethan to the rescue.

Fayza, not entirely convinced, nods slightly.

—Let's sing happy birthday then –she comes out of the kitchen and the brothers high five.

The long-awaited moment arrived and Kylian smiles as he listens to his family sing happy birthday to him and sees his nephews trying to blow out the candles.

He looks at each of the people with him and can only think how much he wishes Mia was there.

At least he'll see her in a bit.

—Uncle Kylian, has Aunt Mia woke up for cake yet? –his nephew asks with a smile, causing Kylian to look at him confused.

—Son, it's just Mia, she's not your aunt.

Kylian turns to see Melissa angrily.

He wasn't bothered by what she said, what caused his anger was the tone of voice she used and the annoyance on her face when talking about his girlfriend.

—If he wants to call her "aunt" that's fine, I don't see any problem –he tries to talk as peaceful as possible.

—She is actually the problem –his sister-in-law mutters under her breath but not enough that he doesn't hear.

It was enough, she exhausted his patience.

She can think whatever she wants about Mia, it really doesn't matter to him. But to have the audacity to say it in front of him, in his own house, where he lives with her?

—What did you say? –his tone of voice and his mood were much worse than he thought.

Melissa looks at Kylian with some fear.

—Nothing, I just-

—Melissa, what did you say? –his voice sounded much higher than before.

—Kylian, you need to calm down –Fayza is the one who speak this time.

—Calm down? She's here, saying things about my girlfriend and I'm the one who has to calm down?

Everyone in the place except Ethan and his father look at Kylian like he's crazy.

—Let's get this over with and cut the cake.

Kylian takes a deep breath, trying to forget his anger and behave, but the videos of Mia being uncomfortable in the final, the tweets from Melissa and Jirès and everything that people said during these days come back to his mind and repeat themselves over and over.

The people making fun of him for losing, the journalists making comments about his relationship with Mia saying that she only wanted him for the fame, her father's contempt for him and the teasing he received from him that he never told Mia.

Everything is overwhelming him and he doesn't know how to handle it.

Jirès's hand on his shoulder followed by a "You need to relax bro" was all it took to make Kylian explode.

—That's enough, all this has me tired. Y'all got me tired –his family looks at him blankly.

—Don't pretend to be confused because you all know what I'm talking about.

—This is all for Mia, isn't it? –Fayza begs with annoyance.

Kylian can't believe it.

—Of course it's because of Mia, all of you are being so rude.

—Kylian, we didn't do anything wrong. – Jires answered.

He lets out a humorless laugh, as a way of trying to appease his urge to yell.

—Do you seriously think that I believe the story that Mia left the box crying because I tied the game? –the annoyed faces from before changed to ones of fear.

—You guys have been so inconsiderate to Mia's feelings and mine, you think it doesn't hurt me to lose one of the most important games of my life and then find out my girlfriend left and I still even don't know why?

Kylian tries to take a deep breath and calm down when he sees his nephews looking at him with confusion.

—Can any of you explain to me what happened?

Silence.

Like when they went to pick up Mia at the hotel.

Kylian sighs wearily.

—If you don't plan to explain to me what happened or what you did, please leave me alone.

All his family exchanged glances and slowly they were collecting their bags and coats under Kylian's gaze.

Melissa and Jirès were the first to leave, then her mother and his friends.

Ethan left the house giving him a slight smile that was returned by Kylian.

—Son –Kylian turns to see his father, who is standing in front of the door, about to leave– don't let your relationship be ruined by this, you two can handle more than this.

Kylian nods slightly and sees his dad smile at him and leave.

He sits on the couch completely exhausted.

He needs Mia more than ever now, and knowing that in less than 15 minutes she will be with him is very comforting.

He can't wait any longer.

Instead Mia feels that she could die at any moment from the nerves she is feeling. She is on her way to the house she shares with Kylian.

She is not ready for what is going to happen, she does not want to hear the love of her life tell her that he hates her and that she is a traitor. She would pretty much hate herself if she lost him like that.

But if it's a consequence of her actions, then she'll accept it, even if it breaks her heart.

She doesn't even know what she's going to tell him when she sees him, how is she going to explain the fact that she left him?

How is she going to justify herself?

Every second that passes is enough for her mind to create another doubt in her head.

And as time passes and the distance between her and Kylian shortens, her fears grow.

All the guilt, fear and shame that she has felt for the last 2 days seems to intensify with the passing of the minutes.

It seems that the fact of losing him is getting closer.

And seeing his house through the window makes it seem that she has already lost him.

Mia gets out of the car already feeling a lump in her throat, she doesn't want to go near the door, but she needs to do it.

Kylian waits impatiently sitting in the same place as before completely anxious, not knowing that on the other side of the door is his girlfriend, wanting to pass out at that moment to avoid talking to him.

But she has to do it.

Mia knocks on the door wanting to run out of there, while Kylian runs to open the door to see her.

So it happens.

They are both standing in front of each other, it feels unreal for both of them.

Not even they know how much they had missed each other.

—Hi –Mia is the one who breaks the silence.

Kylian smiles slightly and takes a step closer to Mia, but she steps back.

Even she doesn't know why she did it, maybe it's fear acting on its own.

Kylian looks at her confused and steps aside to let her in.

Mia enters the house slowly and goes after Kylian, who sits on the couch, she does the same at a considerable distance from him.

Discomfort is an understatement to describe how Mia feels right now, and even more so with her unconscious actions making everything worse.

They are silent for a few minutes.

And Mia's anxiety is growing.

—Could you stop acting like I'm going to attack you, please? I won't, calm down.

Mia nods and smiles slightly, feeling like she could finally breathe.

—Could you tell me what happened? Nobody tells me anything. People are telling a lot of versions about what happened and I don't know what to think. Please talk to me.

Nobody tells him anything?

—It's ironic, because it seems that all this drama is about me and the World Cup final and I'm the only one who doesn't know what's going on –Kylian laughs sarcastically.

Mia frowns, not understanding.

—You really don't know anything?

Kylian sighs and leans back in the chair.

—No. Nobody tells me anything. Ethan says you were crying and left, my mom treats me like everything is wrong with me, and Jirès and Melissa make mean comments about you. I don't understand anything. Then you disappear, you don't call me or say something, and now you act like I'm going to do something to you.

Mia's heart is beating fast, she can't believe that his family didn't tell him anything.

—Please –he repeat– tell me what happened.

Mia takes a deep breath.

If his family didn't tell him the truth, should she?

If she told him the truth, he would be upset with his family, who only wanted to defend him. And she doesn't want that.

—When the game started everything was fine, then Argentina scored the first goal and I celebrated, I didn't give a damn and I ended up making your family angry. Even more when I celebrated the second goal and each time the tension between us grew. I just wanted to leave, I wasn't comfortable knowing that everyone got mad because of me –she omitted as many details as possible.

Kylian looks at her seriously, carefully observing her face and he settled into the chair.

—Ethan yelled at you for that?

His question was so unexpected for Mia.

—I don't know what you mean –she did her best to look confused.

Kylian gets up and grabs his phone, finds something and hands it to Mia.

It was the video of Ethan yelling at her after celebrating.

The same feeling returns to Mia and the desire to cry becomes more and more visible, unable to see more, she returns the phone to her boyfriend.

If she looks him in the eye she's going to cry, so she keeps her gaze fixed on the floor.

—Mia, I'm going to ask you again what happened –he kneels on the ground in front of her– but this time don't hide things from me.

She doesn't want to say anything about Ethan because she knows it could cause a bigger problem.

And it's going to be all her fault.

—Mia, why did Ethan yell at you? –Kylian's hands took her face to make her look into his eyes.

—Please tell me the truth.

Mia pushed her boyfriend's hands away from her face.

—Ethan is only 16 years old, Kylian. He doesn't know how to handle his emotions. Besides, you know that people doesn't think about things when is excited or angry.

—No, don't excuse Ethan. He's old enough to know that no matter what team you root for, he shouldn't have.

—I know. But Ethan is not like that, it was the moment, I don't want to excuse him. Of course he shouldn't have done it, don't think it doesn't hurt me that he did it. I didn't think that would happen but it did. I know he won't do it again.

Kylian was silent for a few seconds thinking about what his girlfriend said.

—Ethan told me you were crying when you left, if not for that why did you leave?

Mia decides to think her words through, she doesn't want to hide anything from him, but she also doesn't want more problems with his family.

—I left because I couldn't take it anymore. Your family was uncomfortable and so was I. It was all too much for me, I felt like I couldn't breathe well so I went to the bathroom. I was about to have a panic attack and I spoke to Antonella, who sent two security men for me and they took me to the Argentina box.

Kylian nods in understanding.

—And where did you go after the final?

—I went to my dad's house.

Kylian looked at his girlfriend confused.

—Your dad's house?

Mia nods.

—It wasn't very nice but yeah, I went there.

—Did he do something to you?

—No, I just thought it would be different, but now I understood that he is going to continue being the same bad person. Besides, he said things about you that I didn't like at all.

Remembering the conversation made Mia angry.

—Do you want to tell me what he said about me?

—He didn't even know your name -she laughed trying to find something funny in the situation- then he said things that according to him you would do to me, and he made me angry because he accused you of things that he already did to me.

Kylian doesn't answer, thinking about what Mia told him. He always knew that his girlfriend's father didn't like him. He made it quite obvious by cutting off the video calls he had with Mia when he appeared, or pretending not to know who he was when asked in interviews if he knew about his relationship with Mia.

—But I defended you, of course –he smiles slightly.

—Thank you.

They smile slightly as they look into each other's eyes, finally feeling peace.

—If it's any consolation, we weren't going to invite him to the wedding anyway –Mia chuckles slightly.

—It helps me a lot, thanks.

—And what about Melissa?

Mia rolls her eyes at the sound of her name.

—She mocked the situation with my father.

She wasn't going to omit details with her, she's not as important as Ethan and what happened to her didn't matter to her at this point.

—First before the game he treated my dad like a loser and made me feel bad, then on Twitter he makes fun of me and my father's absence. What did that have to do with what happened in the final?

Kylian looks at Mia not knowing what to say and she notices.

—Anyway, it's not the point. I'm really sorry, okay? I really didn't think things through and I only thought of running away for fear of what would happen between us and I'm still afraid but you deserve an explanation. I shouldn't have left you alone and gone without explaining anything to you, and besides, today is your birthday, the World Cup ended two days ago and I wasn't there, I preferred to leave you alone than to explain things to you and I was so inconsiderate with you that-

Kylian's lips on Mia's interrupted her words, it's a desperate kiss, full of love and emotions, showing how much they had missed each other.

His arms hugged her body tightly, afraid that she would leave again.

Both want time to stop at that moment, where only the two of them exist and no one else. But the need for air makes them separate.

—You know you're not the real culprit behind all this –he said trying to calm his breathing– so tell me, what made you leave?

Fuck everyone, I don't care.

—Melissa sent me a message telling me that I am a traitor and not to dare talk to you because you gave me everything and I paid you back by supporting Argentina. And all for a man who doesn't even know my birthday.

Kylian's body tenses and his gaze darkens.

—I felt like I had screwed up again and I was afraid to see you and make everything worse. But I think not seeing you was worse.

Mia hugged Kylian by the shoulders causing him to lean back against her chest.

—I'm really sorry.

—Don't apologize, it's okay. Although you shouldn't have left, I looked for you in your room.

Mia sighs lightly.

—It wasn't that easy to decide, Melissa said she hoped that when she got back to the hotel my stuff wouldn't be there anymore, so I left thinking that if she wanted that, maybe you and your whole family might as well.

—I really want to scream in that woman's face, how dare she? I thought she was different, you never get to know people I guess.

Mia nods and they both enjoy each other's presence for a moment.

—And how do you feel?

—What? –Kylian answers.

—How do you feel about everything that happened?

Kylian pulls away from Mia so he can meet her eyes and entwines her hands with his.

—Losing one of the most important games of my life didn't feel good, of course. But when I left, I had the relief of talking to you and being able to deal with everything together, but not seeing you with them made everything worse.

Mia looks him straight in the eye, noticing the sadness in his eyes and feeling ashamed of her decisions.

—Then everyone was acting weird and saying bad things about you and I didn't know what to believe, all I knew was that you were possibly with Antonella because I saw you in the box with her but it wasn't enough. And I found my brother and sister-in-law's tweets, Ethan's videos with you and I couldn't believe that they treated you like this, I still can't accept it. And I don't know, it was honestly horrible. I needed you a lot. I need you so much.

Kylian embraces his girlfriend, holding on to her arms as if her life depended on it. Mia wants to cry with regret and she feels stupid for being so selfish.

—I'm sorry, I really sorry.

He nods accepting her apology and kisses her cheek.

—But now you're here and I don't feel so bad –he smiles at her.

—I promise I won't go anywhere or leave you ever again.

—I promise too.

They held each other for a long time, feeling completely safe in each other's arms.

At last they are both at peace, knowing that now they are fine because they have each other.

They are stronger than before and they are not going to let anyone or anything try to come between them again.

Because they love each other.

And because they survive the great war caused by their worlds collide.

A knock on the door startles them.

—Kylian, I'm Melissa, I forgot my wallet here, could I pick it up?

And now they have to fight together.

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe fanfic #kylian x reader #mbappe imagine #mbappe x reader #mbappe one shot #mbappe #football imagine #football one shot #football x reader

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lau219 · 11 days

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Why Deny?

Part 16

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

Two years was her record.

Well, two years and some change.

Two years of knowing the truth, but not admitting it. Two years of near misses and longing. Two years of denying how they felt about each other, and refusing to accept that Leonard had been right all along.

And after two years, he’d finally convinced her to give in. Finally shown her how great it could be if she’d just accept that it should happen. And then, for a short period, it had been perfect.

But then, she got in her own way again, and Leonard hoped that this time around, Y/N wouldn’t take two years to realize and accept that, once again, he was right. Actually, he hoped that it wouldn’t even take her 9 months, to be exact.

After she’d left that night at the restaurant, Leonard had spent the next couple of days trying to talk some sense into her. He’d gone to her apartment, but she wouldn’t let him come in, and when he’d tried talking to her and convincing her that she was being ridiculous, she wouldn’t listen. He’d kept trying to assure her that not only was he well aware of what her having this baby meant, but that he was on board for it, but she wasn’t having it.

So finally, Leonard had concluded that the best way to get her to believe him and to accept, once again, that they should be together, was to do what he’d done last time, and just wait. But this time around, he wasn’t willing to allow her quite as much time, and he hoped that she’d come to the realization sooner rather than later, and ideally, before the baby made an appearance.

In the meantime, he knew that pushing her any further on it wasn’t the way to go. She had to accept it all on her own, just like last time, and so, as much as he didn’t want to, Leonard had given her space and allowed her to return to acting as she had towards him before D.C. – re-drawing that line in the sand and being professional at all costs.

But that didn’t mean he had to like it. Despite the fact that he’d decided to let her play this out and expected her to eventually come around, he was still annoyed as hell with her for all this, and angry that she was shutting him out as much as she was. Every time he asked her how she was feeling or how things were going, she’d reply with a simple “Fine” and refuse to tell him anything else. She wouldn’t share any information about what the doctor told her as the weeks went on, about how she was (truthfully) feeling and handling all this, or how the baby was doing. He didn’t even know her exact due date, and while it was still too early to know the baby’s sex yet, he knew that once she found out, she wouldn’t tell him that, either.

As far as work went, they’d been able to return to functioning as they had before, albeit a tense awkwardness hung over them. Y/N interacted with Leonard only when necessary, but that was more frequent than she would have liked, since they were still monitoring Foster together. She knew she couldn’t ask Benton to step back from that, because if she did, she knew he’d ask her why she wanted to step back, and she’d have to explain everything. She had only just barely started to show, and if her clothes were loose enough, no one could tell yet. And although she knew she was going to have to share the news of her pregnancy with Benton soon, she wasn’t ready to do that yet, and she also wasn’t sure whether she was going to include the fact that Leonard was the father.

But what she didn’t know was that when they’d returned from D.C., Charles could tell that something between Y/N and Leonard had shifted. As discreet as the two of them were being, he’d picked up on it, but had said nothing, as it wasn’t interfering with their work. Frankly, he’d always suspected they slept together, but after the Embassy party, he knew for sure that something had changed.

And now, clearly, something had happened again, as he’d picked up on the tension that now had replaced the intimacy that was previously between the two. He planned on addressing it at some point soon, as both Y/N and Leonard were obviously miserable, but Leonard beat him to the punch when he asked him for a brief meeting in his office.

“So, what did you do wrong?” Charles asked Leonard as soon as he’d entered his office and closed the door.

“What?” Leonard asked, furrowing his brow.

Although Leonard’s boss, Charles and he had quite a casual, informal rapport. It came from years of Leonard being his top team member and a mutual level of respect shared between them. He allowed Leonard to function mostly as if he had no one to answer to, and so as he spoke again, it was a somewhat casual tone.

“She’s clearly avoiding you, which I’m guessing also means she’s cut you off elsewhere, and I can’t imagine you’re too happy with that decision,” Charles said with a knowing look of both amusement and disapproval on his face. He asked Leonard again. “So, what did you do wrong?”

The whole reason Leonard had asked for this meeting was to tell Charles the situation and make a request, but rather than be surprised that Charles had already figured it out, Leonard simply told him the news – the relationship between the two men had reached a point of no-bullshit honesty a long time ago.

“She’s pregnant,” Leonard said.

Upon hearing that, Benton’s eyes widened, and his eyebrows practically lifted right off his face. He definitely wasn’t expecting something quite this extreme, and he felt a strange combination of protectiveness over the younger woman who he had a daughterly fondness for, and sympathy for Leonard that quickly changed to not knowing how to feel. He didn’t know whether he wanted to hit him or congratulate him, and he stayed silent as Leonard spoke again.

“It wasn’t planned, obviously, and she’s decided that, although she’s keeping it, I’m not father material and we shouldn’t be involved any longer.”

Finally, Charles spoke.

“You realize how many HR rules you two have violated?” he said sarcastically, still somewhat in disbelief.

“Shit happens,” Leonard replied.

“So, what’s your plan?” Charles asked.

“Wait it out,” Leonard answered him, “until she changes her mind.”

“So, you want this?” Benton replied, eyebrows rising again. “Can’t say I expected that.”

“I love her,” Leonard responded, realizing how dramatic and corny that sounded in the moment, but also not caring.

Benton paused for a moment before replying.

“She’s stubborn as hell,” he said. “You’re gonna be waiting a while.”

“Believe me, I’m all too familiar with how stubborn she is,” Leonard answered.

“You know that she refused to take me up on promoting her to work with you for over 6 months because she’d convinced herself she would only disappoint you?”

That was actually something Leonard didn’t know, but he’d think about that later.

“Stubborn as hell,” Leonard repeated his own words back to him, and Benton chuckled before speaking again.

“What and when does she plan on telling people?”

Leonard shook his head.

“Don’t know; she refuses to talk to me about it, so she can figure that out for herself,” Leonard answered. “But in the meantime, I need you to do me a favor.”

•.•.•.•.•

Later that afternoon, Leonard discovered that Y/N had gone home early due to not feeling well, and as he thought once more about the fact that she was refusing to share anything with him, it just made him angry again. At 15 weeks, more time had already passed than he’d wanted with her keeping up this little act, and he was done being kept in the dark. If she refused to tell him anything, then he’d find out for himself.

Entering Y/N’s office, Leonard searched her desk and in her drawers, looking for a card, a note, or anything else with her doctor’s information on it. Finally, as he pulled open her bottom drawer, he saw a file folder laying inside with an appointment reminder card attached to it, and upon picking up the folder, he saw it was for a local OB/GYN clinic. Seeing Y/N’s name on the lip of the file and several sheets of paper partially sticking out, Leonard set the folder down and opened it up, and it took him a moment to wrap his head around what he found inside as he looked down.

A black and white sonogram print was presented to him, and after the few seconds it took him to realize what he was looking at, a whole mix of feelings immediately expanded in his chest.

There it was, staring back at him. His baby. It had legs, feet, and a head, the profile of which showed a small nose and the bump of lips.

This was his baby, growing inside her.

Seeing it brought a whole new level of love and adoration for Y/N, as well as a whole new level of protectiveness and pride for his unborn child.

Finally lifting the picture up to the papers underneath, Leonard saw that one of the sheets in the folder was a HIPAA release form they’d given Y/N, but she hadn’t filled out. Immediately, Leonard grabbed a pen off her desk and began filling in the form – if she wasn’t going to tell him anything, then he’d go straight to the source.

After marking the boxes that requested any and all test results, appointment notes, and progress updates for Y/N and the baby, Leonard came to the part where he listed his own name as the party with whom the doctor could share this information. He then paused at the next line, hesitating for just a moment before writing “Husband” in the space that asked what his relationship was to Y/N.

Not only would they not question sending him her info this way, but soon enough, it would be the truth, Leonard thought.

After photocopying Y/N’s signature from another document in her office she’d signed, Leonard scanned it onto the HIPAA form and faxed it to her doctor. Leonard then took the form back to his office and locked it in his file cabinet. When he called Y/N’s doctor’s office 30 minutes later to request to know the dates and times of all of her upcoming appointments, he smiled to himself, the receptionist not questioning a thing as she recited off exactly the information Leonard had asked for.

“And I’ll send you all of the chart notes and test results up to this point,” the receptionist confirmed with him. “Would your wife like them sent to her again as well?”

“No,” Leonard replied, not wanting an email from them to trigger Y/N becoming aware of what he’d done. “Just send them to me. And that goes the same for all future information – you don’t need to inform her when you send it to me; she already gets dozens of emails and doesn’t want to get any unnecessary ones. Can you make a note of that somewhere?”

“Understood,” the receptionist replied. “Absolutely, no problem. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

“No, that’s it,” Leonard replied through the phone, smiling to himself again as his eyes landed on the sonogram photo once more, which he’d brought back into his office with him. “Thank you; you’ve been very helpful.”

Part 17

@nyxxie-pooh @hannibellector @xsweetcatastrophe @natalie--rushman @febris-amatoria

@beastofburdenxo @allie131313 @garrison-girl-08 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @hudson-bay-girl

@neonpurplestars89-blog @fuseburner @devotedlyshadowytheorist @meister95 @aphroditeslover11

@ceirinen @betty21rose

#leonard miller fic #leonard miller x reader #leonard miller #leonard miller smut #leonard miller x female reader #cillian murphy #cillian fic #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian smut #18+ only

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scoobydoodean · 4 months

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Dean starts to ditch Sam in 4.04 "Metamorphosis" and in 4.18 "The Monster At The End Of This Book", and I think one interpretation of his actions is that he's trying to bluff to get his way, and stays because it doesn't work on Sam.

While I think that's very possible, I'm not quite sure that's what's happening though. I think Dean actually does just... want to leave Sam tbh. He was really mad in 4.04 when he found Sam with Ruby, but he didn't say a word. He left, went back to the motel, and started packing without saying anything to Sam. Sam asked him if he was leaving, and Dean said:

DEAN You don't need me. You and Ruby go fight demons.

It was only when Sam stood between him and the door that they started fighting. During that fight, one of Sam's justifications for working with Ruby was:

SAM You were gone. I was here. I had to keep on fighting without you.

So while Dean suggested Sam doesn't need him, Sam insists that he does—and that working with Ruby was due to Dean's absence so it's actually kind of Dean's fault for you know—being dead. And this is not the first time Sam spins this narrative. He started it back in 3.09.

Whether Sam really even wants Dean around comes up again in the beginning of 4.15, after the fight in 4.14 where Sam said Dean was holding him back:

DEAN Sure you want me going with you? SAM Why wouldn't I? DEAN I don't want to be holding you back or nothing.

Sam dismisses it and tells Dean to stop being dramatic.

Then here in 4.18, Dean wants to leave town to try and subvert Lilith's plans, but Sam wants to stay and face her. They've already fought vaguely about Sam thinking Dean is a coward, and Dean thinking Sam might fuck Lilith, and here, Dean finally drops the bomb that he knows Sam is working with Ruby again. I mean—really it shouldn't be a bomb at all—Sam should realize he's a shitty liar and Dean never bought what he was selling—Dean told Sam to his face that he knew Sam was lying to him in 4.15. He plainly said he couldn't stop Sam from doing whatever he wanted—Sam is a grown man—but plainly asked Sam not to treat him like an idiot—and even Dean asking Sam to just stop trying to bullshit him was something Sam couldn't accept?

In 4.18 though, Dean plainly says that he knows Sam's been lying to him about Ruby and he says exactly what he knows and how he knows it. It is an end to the peace Dean maintained only by choosing to keep quiet—a peace Dean maintained by allowing Sam to keep treating him like he's stupid after telling Sam to please stop treating him like he's stupid.

The statement from Dean is now plainly, "Our relationship is not okay and I am not going to pretend to buy your bullshit lies anymore just to maintain the status quo". So something has to change now that this bomb has been dropped or the partnership is over.

Either Sam has to apologize, explain himself, and stop lying, or Dean has to leave for the sake of his own goddamn self-respect. Well, Sam doesn't apologize or explain—in fact, he kind of reinforces that he thinks Dean is really just that fucking stupid by looking shocked that Dean knew.

So Dean starts to leave, and asks Sam if he's coming (unspoken: "Or are you going to stay here and fight Lilith with your powers you're honing with Ruby?") and when Sam says he's staying, that means Dean has to leave for the sake of his own goddamn dignity. If he does not leave right here, with Sam openly caught in his lies and still refusing to explain himself, then he is essentially telling Sam that Sam can continue to walk all over him and Dean will put up with it. And unfortunately... that's exactly what ends up happening. Regardless of how mad Dean is at Sam for repeatedly breaking his trust and regardless of him knowing he deserves better, he cannot just leave Sam to face Lilith alone and possibly fucking die (or get lured into probably very dubiously consensual sex with a demon). So he drops his bag.

Early season 5 goes on to tell us Dean is stuck here. In 5.02, Sam decides that Dean doesn't get space and Dean doesn't get to distrust him, and shoves him into a wall for a perceived slight. After Dean leaves, in 5.03, he tells Cas:

DEAN Honestly, I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm really good. CASTIEL Even without your brother? DEAN Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy.

Then in the very next episode, he's once again guilted into returning to Sam after being confronted with a whole alternative future where everything goes to shit because he wasn't there for Sam. Like fucking christ. No wonder Carver largely structured his seasons around Sam being a chain wrapped around Dean's neck. And in the very next episode—5.05—Sam already starts maneuvering toward the narrative that the actions he took that hurt Dean are Dean's fault yet again.

#family chains #4.18 #4.04 #4.15 #3.09 #4.14 #5.02 #5.03 #5.04 #5.05 #youre such a control freak #the flannel business #pk rewatches spn number ?

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salmon-bagel · 9 months

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Please say you love me.

Tengen Uzui x Fourth Wife!Reader

Tw: unhealthy relationship, mild smut, heavy angst, body shaming

Y/n was in an arranged marriage with Tengen Uzui. It was a rare occurrence for his clan. As many of the heirs were allowed to pick their wives.

His father owed the neighboring clan leader a favor. They had protected his clan from danger once and Tengen's father promised to repay it. The clan leader wanted his daughter, Y/n, to marry one of his sons. In order for the bond between clans to strengthen.

Tengen had been chosen to marry Y/n. He wasn't thrilled about it at all. Tengen had protested this decision. But his father's word was always final say.

Y/n and Tengen had their wedding a few days after meeting each other for only a couple of hours.

Tengen didn't show any interest in his new wife. Still refusing to accept this marriage as legitimate. Even during the honeymoon, Tengen refused to sleep with Y/n. Not wanting the possibility of a child being conceived from her.

It didn't take long for Y/n to notice Tengen's attitude towards her. Despite his cruelty and neglect, Y/n remained kind and sweet. Believing he'd come around if she was the best wife she could be.

After Tengen left his clan along with his three wives and Y/n, things certainly changed.

Y/n wasn't a Shinobu or a fighter of any kind. Her father believed women weren't meant for the battlefield. As a result, Y/n had little to no fighting experience.

So, Y/n spent most of her time at their shared home. Usually cleaning and maintaining their house. Tengen was actually relieved Y/n stayed at home. As it meant he didn't have to be around her.

His time away from home actually made him forgot Y/n's existence. Tengen found those times to be blissful! Yet, he did have to return home once in a while. Tengen always felt a sense of dread going home.

It wasn't like he was returning home to an abuser. Rather Tengen would return home with his wives to a home cooked meal and a tidy home.

Y/n always made delicious food for her husband and the other wives. She also made flavorful wine. Because of all the free time Y/n had at home, she grew various fruits and vegetables in her own small garden. She'd pickle the vegetables and turn the fruits into fresh sake.

Hinatsuru, Suma, and Makio absolutely loved it! Enjoying the meals and delicious sake Y/n would give them. As for Tengen, he didn't comment much.

"Eh, it's okay. I've tasted better anyway."

However, there was no denying that Tengen loved Y/n's cooking. If he didn't, he would never finish his entire plate.

When it came to bedtime, Y/n had her own personal small bedroom. Y/n believed this was a kind gesture from Tengen. In reality, he just didn't want to lay beside her. Finding himself to be more comfortable with his other three wives.

Yet, being comfortable in bed wasn't the only reason why.

Tengen LOVES sex. He viewed sex like art. Something to be cherished and be very passionate about. Tengen fucks all three of his wives with raw passion. He often viewed himself like a breeding bull. Trying to get all his beautiful mates impregnated with his hot thick seed.

However, did Tengen ever sleep with Y/n? Nope. He could hardly get aroused by her. The only times they were intimate was when Tengen wanted a handjob from Y/n. That only happened when the other wives weren't in the mood to make love or engage in any sexual activities.

Tengen used his imagination to get off. Usually thinking about Suma, Makio, or Hinatsuru from their previous sessions. All while Y/n jerked his massive length with her hands. She always felt conflicted to suck Tengen off. Y/n wanted to fuck. She NEEDED to. Her pussy had been left untouched for so long. She was tired of fingering herself every time she was horny. Y/n wanted an actual throbbing cock in her! Whether her mouth, ass, or slick cunt. When she brought this up with Tengen, he simply laughed in response. Remarking that she'd never be able to get the whole thing in her. Tengen found it quite embarrassing.

Speaking of embarrassing.

Y/n wasn't allowed to stand beside Tengen if they were in public. He found her to be embarrassing. What would the other hashira think of him if they found out he had an unflashy wife? In his eyes, Y/n was so plain, so boring! Not even attractive in the slightest!

Yet, what the hell was he doing married to Y/n still? Tengen's massive ego wouldn't let him. He liked the idea of having four wives. Even if he found one of them to be unpleasant to the eyes. However, Tengen managed to convince himself that he was doing Y/n a favor. What other man would be sane enough to marry her? Obviously the handsome sound hashira would, who was merely doing it out of the kindness of his heart!

Tengen never believed Y/n would ever leave him. Never.

But to his surprise, Y/n did.

It was after an argument she had with him. Y/n had grown tired of being neglected and verbally abused by Tengen. For once, she was finally speaking her mind. Telling Tengen how she really felt. Tengen, short tempered as always, insulted and degraded her.

"You never appreciate anything I do for you! I always try to make you happy, but it seems you get angrier everytime I try!"

"Why the hell would I need YOU to make me happy? You make my live a LIVING HELL! The only reason I'm married to you is because my father MADE ME! I WOULD'VE NEVER MARRIED YOU!You're a plain, ugly, nagging BITCH! My life would be so much BETTER! If you weren't in it!"

Those words stung Y/n. Far worse than any other insult Tengen would usually fling at her.

"..."

"Then maybe I won't be in it anymore."

Y/n took off her wedding ring and placed it on the counter. It felt like Y/n was removing a shackle from her hand. Her imprisonment to that bastard was no more.

In response, Tengen stayed quiet for a moment. Looking flabbergasted that Y/n is finally leaving him. He never thought that Y/n had the spine to divorce him.

The other three wives were expecting this. Knowing Y/n was going to leave him eventually. Any of them would have if they were treated so horribly by lord Tengen.

The few days after that were mundane. After finalizing their divorce, Y/n immediately began to move out. She didn't have many things so her moving was rather quick. Y/n was going to stay with a distant relative of hers. Suma, Makio, and Hinatsuru helped Y/n with her packing. None of them tried to convince her to stay with Tengen. Knowing it would only bring her more pain.

After Y/n's departure, Tengen decided to have a small celebration. Finally that bitch was out of his life! He didn't have to put up with her anymore! Woo-hoo! Unfortunately, the other wives weren't exactly in the mood to celebrate. Feeling upset they lost one of their sisterly wives. Regardless, Tengen still celebrated. He was happy, he was free, he felt alive!

Tengen felt all these things for only a short while. As he would later realize what it was like without Y/n.

He no longer felt the dread of returning to home. Like rooms, Tengen felt empty. Usually he'd expect Y/n to run up to him to greet him. Excited to see Tengen returning home from his dangerous job.

"I prayed to Buddha so many times to get you and the wives home safely! Oh, I'm so glad your home!"

Tengen was always annoyed by it. Of course he'd return fine, he's the best! No demon could ever defeat him.

Then again, slaying demon has become a lot more difficult. Remembering Y/n's reassuring words made his heart flutter. Just for a moment. Until, Tengen brushed that feeling aside. Trying to prevent himself for having any feelings for Y/n.

They were broken up. Divorced. He doesn't have to care... does he?

When looking through his closet, he found a forgotten yukata Y/n had gifted him. Y/n never had much money. Her allowances from Tengen were always very small. She wanted to gift Tengen something for a long while. So, with the money she saved up, Y/n bought some fabric and made a yukata. One that was the same color as Tengen's eyes.

Tengen never wore it when she first gave it to him. Finding it very "unflashy" to be gifted clothing and not something extravagant.

However when she left, Tengen found himself wearing it more often. The yukata very comfortable and it fit him perfectly. The fabric Y/n bought wasn't cheap. It was high quality. She had spent a fortune buying the fabric.

In the inside of his yukata sleeve's was an embroidered note from Y/n.

'Made with love'

That stung Tengen in the chest. Knowing his ex-wife really loved him so much. She always tried hard for. Trying to be noticed and loved by her husband.

Tengen tried not to think about it. His emotions were a mess. He felt angry, confused, and a little exhausted. Maybe sleeping it off might help.

When he fell asleep, Tengen dreamt of a memory from his past.

It was when Y/n and him were still together. Y/n was in the kitchen, looking through the cupboards attempting to find something.

She was squat over, her perky ass up in air. Tengen's eyes widen at the sight. Had he never noticed her rear end before? My God, she was thick!

He smirked as he watched her. His mind filling with filthy thoughts about what he could do to her. When he tried stepping forward, Tengen is stopped by an invisible wall before him. Unable to walk towards Y/n.

Suddenly, another version of himself stepped forward. He looked down at Y/n.

"Are you really that desperate? Showing your ass off like that? Nobody's going to fuck you no matter how hard you try."

"I-I wasn't trying to-"

"And another thing, have you been getting fatter? Those hips of yours are getting wider and your tits aren't getting any bigger."

"But I've been on a diet."

"Obviously it's not working. Why don't you try starving yourself next time."

And with that the other Tengen walked away. As soon as he left, Y/n cried in silence. Not wanting to garner the attention from her husband.

Tengen watched all of this. He felt hurt just seeing her cry. How could he let himself say such things? Was he really that harsh with her?

A new memory played, this time it was of Y/n collecting logs from outside the mansion. Tengen had recalled asking her to bring in fire wood during the winter. Yet when she tried going back inside, the door had been closed on her. Y/n knocked on the door many times. Attempting to get her husband's attention or one of the other wives attention. Y/n had stayed outside for many hours. Freezing in the cold. Eventually, she was let back inside in the morning.

The wives were horrified that they had forgotten Y/n outside. The poor woman was practically on death's door by hpw cold she looked. Each of them were quick to warm her up. Covering her in blankets and making hot tea. Meanwhile, Tengen had admitted to "mistakenly" closing the door after Y/n left outside. Y/n could see that sick smirk on his face. She didn't say anything though.

Y/n sat in her own bed, slowly eating soup that Suma made for her. Then, Hinatsuru had walked into her room. The two had a small chat. When eventually, Hinatsuru asked Y/n an important question.

"May I ask why you've remained so loyal and loving to lord Tengen?"

"Whatever do you mean? I'm his wife, it's my job to love my husband."

"I know but... the way he treats you isn't right. If I were you, I would've left a long time ago."

Y/n stayed quiet for a few moments. Reflecting on Hinatsuru's words.

"I'm aware of how lord Tengen treats me. Believe me, it's not easy taking insults every day from a man I call my love. But I know he doesn't mean it. He's just angry. The job of a demon slayer can be very frustrating. I know deep down inside that he loves me. He just doesn't know to express it. I mean why else would I have this ring still?"

Y/n shows Hinatsuru her wedding ring. It was a golden band with a her favorite gemstone.

"I've never taken it off since he slipped it on my finger. That's how dedicated I am to him. I know he'll see that one day and I hope it comes soon."

That day did come. Unfortunately, Y/n was already gone when Tengen realized what he had truly lost.

Suddenly, Tengen woke up from his dream. Hyperventilating as his mind ran wild with his thoughts.

An overwhelming sense of guilt overcame him. Why did he let himself treat Y/n so poorly? Tengen chased away a beautiful woman that worshipped him like a God. A woman he constantly degraded because he didn't want to let himself be in love with her.

All because of a grudge he held against his father. Tengen hated being used a political pawn. He never understood why Y/n didn't feel the same. Y/n was quick to love a man she barley met! Tengen always believed it was only for Y/n to please her clan. He believed she was selfish.

Then again, Y/n did leave behind her clan to join tengen abd the other wives. So, it wasn't for her clan. It never was.

Maybe, she would Y/n have been the same if she married one of his brothers instead.

However, she never seemed interested in any of them. Her eyes were only on Tengen.

Even when men flirted with her on the street, Y/n ignored them. She had a handsome hunk of a husband. Why would she want someone else? Her heart belonged to Tengen.

...

Then she took it back after their divorce.

It was then, when Tengen realized the wonderful wife he had lost.

A devoted, beauty who'd give up the stars and heaven itself to be with him.

But instead, she had sacrificed her self-esteem and mental state. Letting herself get hurt so that maybe, there was a small chance he'd finally see how devoted of a lover she was.

Y/n counted down the minutes and hours that he'd finally treat her like his wife. To be kissed on the lips and held while he utters, "I love you", over and over again.

Suddenly, Tengen needed to find Y/n. To tell her how sorry he is. To beg her to come back to him and become his wife.

He was already thinking about all the things he was going to do to makeup for his horrible past.

Tengen was going to be buy her all the treats and gifts she's ever wanted! He doesn't care if it'll be expensive or not. His wife deserves the best! They all did! But especially Y/n for having to put up with him.

He'll compliment her body everyday! No! WORSHIP her body!

Just the thought of Y/n getting in bed with Tengen, turned him on. It was his mission to fuck her as many times as she liked. To make up for ignoring her previous advances.

Tengen still held onto the ring she took off! He wasn't going to give it away anytime soon! It was Y/n's ring and her ring alone.

Like how there was only one Y/n. No other woman could ever compare to the love she had for him.

As much as Tengen wanted to find Y/n and have a happy ending, that wasn't going to happen.

Y/n had completely disappeared off the map. Not even the relative she was staying with knew where she went.

She was gone. Like a ghost in the wind.

Some had rumored Y/n had taken her own life. But those were just rumors.

Though, Tengen never stopped searching for Y/n.

He knew she was out there still.

And by God, he knew he'd have to have her again.

He just had to. To make up for all the damage he's caused.

Tengen hopes Y/n has it in her heart to forgive him.

#tengen uzui #tengen x reader #demon slayer

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