You really just can't unsee it once you see it though, can you?
Sam starts blaming Dean for what he's going to do (work with Ruby) way back in 3.09 because Dean isn't going to be around to be Sam's mommy, which is going to force Sam's hand.
After Dean comes back, Sam actually blames Dean for him working with Ruby by saying Dean wasn't there to protect him (4.04).
Dean repeatedly begs Sam not to work with Ruby and is ignored repeatedly (3.03, 3.04, 3.09, 3.16, 4.01-4.04, 4.12-4.22).
After telling Dean to open up to him and trust him (4.08), Sam calls Dean weak and pathetic for being traumatized by hell and says Dean is holding him back and therefore deserves to be lied to because he can't be of use (4.14) Sam says it's not what he really thinks when they both know it is (and Sam repeats it to other characters in 4.16, and 4.18) and then he admits it's the truth again to Dean's face in 4.21.
Sam accuses Dean of not trusting him enough (4.21).
Bobby blows up at Dean for not supporting Sam enough and calls him a pansy after Sam strangled Dean near unconscious, and tells him family is supposed to make you miserable (4.22).
Dean tries to reach out to Sam and Zachariah and Cas actively prevent him from doing so (Cas only at first) (4.22)
Zachariah (5.01) and Cas (5.02) both tell Dean the apocalypse is his fault because Dean didn't reach Sam in time to stop him from killing Lilith.
Dean says Sam hurt him, Sam is the one Dean depended on the most and Sam hurt him in ways he can't even voice (5.01). Sam apologizes, but then in the very next episode, shoves Dean into a wall for not trusting him like Dean is crazy and irrational when Sam doesn't even trust himself (5.02).
Sam says he thinks they should go their separate ways and is shocked when Dean agrees easily. Dean says that he spends more time worrying about Sam than he does doing the job right and time apart would be good. Sam reiterates that he's sorry and Dean gently says he knows Sam is (5.02).
Cas asks Dean if he's okay even without his brother, and Dean says "Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I’ve had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I’ve had with Sam in years, and you’re not that much fun. It’s funny, you know, I’ve been so chained to my family, but now that I’m alone, hell, I’m happy." (5.03)
Sam says he wants back in. Dean objects, on the basis that he thinks they're stronger apart. Dean says they're each other's weaknesses and it's being used against them (5.04, but the weakness line is repeated from 3.03 and 3.16).
Zachariah pushes Dean into a future 2014 where Dean never met up with Sam again, and as a result, Sam said "Yes" to Lucifer, and billions of people died. All because Dean didn't want to be around Sam after being hurt and never reconnected with him (5.04).
Dean reconnects with Sam (5.04) even though he clearly doesn't want to, because the first case we see them on again, Dean struggles to trust Sam and leaves to go drink alone because he doesn't want to be around Sam (5.05).
Sam says part of the reason he went off with Ruby was to get away from Dean, because Dean is smothering. Dean is the problem in the relationship, because Sam feels inferior compared to him. Dean apologizes for being too smothering (5.05).
What does all of this tell you? Dean can't win. Dean will always be the bad guy in the family. He loves too much, or he isn't loving enough. Sam needs him and Dean wasn't there for him and so Sam went down the wrong path, but also Dean is smothering and Dean being smothering is the reason Sam went down the wrong path. Sam is not a trustworthy person, but Dean doesn't trust him enough. Sam not being trustworthy is Dean's fault. Dean doesn't deserve trust, but Sam deserves Dean's trust no matter what and not giving Sam his trust is the worst possible thing in the entire world and also again makes him smothering. The apocalypse is Dean's fault. Every single thing Sam does every single mistake he might ever make in his life is always at least partly Dean's fault and Dean's responsibility.
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A Door to the Future | Mammon x Reader
.7K words | GN! Reader | CW: children
“Shit, which door did Barbatos say it was again…” Mammon walked down a corridor of doors in Barbatos’s room. He wasn’t even sure if he’d gone down the right hallway.
“Red door, red door…I think,” he mumbled as he strolled. His eyes lit up when he saw the door near the end of the hallway. “Bingo!”
He laughed to himself and sprinted to the door. He opened it up exited and waltzed right in when something collided with his leg.
“Hey!” He snapped instinctively before seeing the object was in fact a small boy.
“Oh shit, you alright kid…” Mammon asked and awkwardly crouched down to check on the boy. The boy looked up at him with bright blue eyes and Mammon raised one brow curiously.
“Hey, you kinda look like—“
“Papa!” The boy exclaimed and clung to Mammon’s leg. “I thought I didn’t get to say goodbye.” He sobbed and Mammon froze awkwardly.
“Yeah…um…here I…am?” Mammon was beyond confused and his instincts were telling him this definitely wasn’t the right door.
“Mammon, is that you?” Mammon froze when he heard your voice. Suddenly you appeared before him, older and more graceful than before but just as beautiful.
Mammon’s cheeks flushed when he saw you. “Oh, uh—“
You hugged him excitedly. “Good, I was worried Matty missed you.” You sighed in relief and Mammon looked around the room anxiously.
What was happening? Where did this door lead?
“Why don’t you have some coffee before you go, you can’t run off to work like that without breakfast,” you told him and he nodded wordlessly.
Wasn’t this the house of Lamentation? Something felt different about it. Mammon saw toys scattered across the floor and when he waltzed into the dining room behind you he saw six chairs instead of eight.
This made Mammon uneasy. Was everyone okay?
“Six…” you heard Mammon mumble worriedly.
“Did you forget? Leviathan and Asmodeus are visiting later so I brought the extra chairs out.”
Mammon noticeably relaxed when he felt Matty cling to his leg again. Mammon wasn’t sure what to do and kept walking, dragging the other leg behind him as the boy laughed excitedly.
“Daddy?” Mammon gasped and looked behind him where he saw a young girl, the spitting image of himself.
She wore a backpack and her hair was in a sloppy ponytail. She looked confused and possibly annoyed?
“Why aren’t you at work? Are ya skipping again?” She glared teasingly.
You laughed and Mammon shook his head, “I ain’t skippin’!”
“Ava, don’t tease your father so much,” you scolded and Mammon audibly gulped.
“F-fath—“
He was cut off when he heard Barbatos’s voice in his head.
“Mammon, return. Now.”
Mammon gently pried the boy from his leg and gave you an anxious look.
“Hey, listen…Umm. I gotta—“
You smiled and nodded. “I know.” Of course, you knew. Mammon wouldn’t stop talking about the future he saw with you when he returned to his own timeline. You’d wondered when you’d finally meet the Mammon of the past again. Alas, you couldn’t get him to stay any longer than he originally had.
You and Mammon shared a knowing smile. “See ya soon…yeah?” Mammon asked and you nodded. You waved and beckoned Ava and Matty to your side.
“Kids, say goodbye to dad.”
Ava grinned and Matty waved, “Bye papa!” They chimed in unison and Mammon, looking back until the last second shuffled out the door he came through.
Barbatos dragged him into the hallway and glared down at him.
“Wh…what was that…” Mammon gasped, holding his chest.
Barbatos rolled his eyes. “That was what you weren’t meant to see.”
“Wh-huh…d-does that really happen!? Are ___ and I gonna? Y-you know!”
Barbatos rolled his eyes again and sighed. “It’s a possibility.”
Mammon turned red and his heartbeat faster. “Hell no! It’s not a possibility, that’s happening! Definitely!”
“If you say so,” Barbatos clucked and started walking away towards the correct door.
“Hey don’t leave me!” Mammon yelled and ran after him, mind racing.
Could he make it happen? Of course, he could right!? Anything to see those little kids again, and you…every day for the rest of his life.
“Ava and Matty, huh…” Mammon grinned to himself. He couldn’t wait to tell you all about it. “___ is definitely gonna be with me, not even Lucifer can change that.”
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Family memory
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I'm not sure I've shared the Lamb's name before... maybe I wrote it in one of my doodles? probably.
Anyway, here we have Avana (the Lamb), Suemy (same age sister) and Caleb (ridiculously tall older brother). Tomorrow a page with a fragment from Avana's memories..!!
This guy is so tall he had to bend down for the photo
in fact this guy was featured here before
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