#and there’s something i’m supposed to say but i can’t remember what it is

[yuquinzel]

— nobody’s business.

feat. itoshi sae. a little sensual. 700+ wc. self indulgent :> publicizing your relationship with japan’s star player.

itoshi sae is holding onto your hand, a little more firmly than ever before. teal eyes out ahead on the field in front of you both searching for something you can’t name. you follow his gaze— it’s on the bleachers first, then hastily eyeing every player on the pitch. it’s on the spectators one second, then it’s on the cameras panning and zooming in from every direction.

sae grimaces when one such camera directs at the two of you, pulling you behind and away from the prying eyes of the media eager to catch just a glimpse of japan’s prized player and his partner who he keeps oh so hidden from the world.

he’s never denied being in a relationship. never tried to refute dating allegations with a non-celebrity, never once fazed to address the blurred pictures of him making out with someone in his car, never tried to hide the bruises on his neck that catch the eye of every fan leaving nobody wondering what it really is. he knows what they’ll do once they really know who you are— the paparazzi wouldn’t fucking leave you alone, following you everywhere. magazines would be willing to kill to get just one word from you and twist it to their likings. sae’s discreet with his words though, never gives them something to work with.

it was not until you addressed it to him yourself. just another article surfacing all around social media. something that had left a bitter taste on your tongue. ‘ itoshi sae and his supposed girlfriend ! ’ — it’s a picture of sae with a model you don’t know the name of, attending an event you weren’t invited to. he looks clearly unimpressed. but it helps little when every single comment under the article is how of well the two look together.

how well itoshi sae looks with someone who’s not you.

“you’ve already denied the rumours, so then why...” you’d said, avoiding his gaze for reasons you can’t pinpoint. “they always make up shit to write when their lukewarm ass doesn’t have real shit to sell.” he’d answered, “don’t think much about it. they’ll forget about it soon.”

when you didn’t say anything back, sae had known what he was to do. he’d known what it was you were asking of him with your silence. and for you, he was more than willing.

he’s sure a few cameras would’ve captured him with you by now, your face clear and beautiful for everyone to see and engrave on their papers and headlines. they’ll adorn you with pretty words and pretty adjectives, and he’ll have to share you with the eyes of the world now. something about it leaves a bitter flavor on his tongue, so he kisses you instead to taste the sweetness of your lips.

“don’t take your eyes off me,” he rasps between the kisses, one hand coming to cradle your jaw while the other hooks around your waist. “look at only me.”

“only you.” you say and sae breathes you in. he leans down closer, lips moving against yours more desperately than ever. he’s pleased with your answer. phantom touches of his hands slithering under your shirt and tracing the skin of your abdomen.

you forget about the match about to start in a mere minutes, about the cameras still desperate to get one glimpse of this very scene, and if you do remember that his teammates would march out any second now— sae makes you forget about everyone else when he tugs on your bottom lip lightly, “afraid? ” he challenges you with a long, languid glide of his tongue, “of what? I’m the only thing on your mind. ”

later when the game ends with the final pass from sae leading to a goal, the camera pans to you sitting in the vip section and cheering for sae and his team. another pans to sae when he notices you on the screen. sae ignores the roars of the crowd, ignores his teammates gathering around him, screaming for their win. he looks at you, waiting intently. you know what he’s asking of you — did you watch? he shifts forward ever so slightly — was i good?

you’re smiling as you mouth a clear I’m so proud of you — and only then does sae feels like he’s won.

© yuquinzel2023 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]

why am I posting this it's a year old 🧘🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️

#❀˖° ─ hana writes. #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #blue lock x reader #itoshi sae fluff #sae x reader #sae x you #blue lock x you #blue lock x reader fluff #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #bllk x reader #bllk x you #bllk fluff

[aliidarling]

i need to purge my urges, shame shame shame pt. 2

RICK GRIMES x fem!reader

part. 1

nsfw content — please scroll if uncomfortable

summary: rick has been slowly trapping you with him, but someone comes up which ends in him having to remind you who u belong to

warnings: nsfw, p in v, fingering, noncon pretty much, manipulating, gaslighting, toxic rick, creampie, baby trapping, rough sex

i took inspo from an anon who requested baby-trapping :3

dark content below !!

You thought after a few days or weeks of being a B at the CRM would fill the void in your heart, the need to go back home and reunite with your friends and family. You could only imagine their smiles and faces, as now you had no way of contacting them. Rick was watching you like a hawk, eyes always on you even when he wasn’t in the room.

The sound of Judith’s laughter echoed in your head as you sat in your new apartment, his. He had just recently asked you to move into his commander suite, which you really couldn’t say no to, who would? The chance to be closer to your husband? You would be crazy to reject such an offer.

Every day of the last week had gone the same. You’d wake up in his arms, make love, eat breakfast, and split ways, Rick off to command and you on your way to stab walkers at the gate for hours in the heat. The thick uniforms were annoying but you were starting to get used to it.

What didn’t sit right with you was how *casual* Rick was with this whole thing. You had made the mistake of trying to reason with him a few weeks ago, which now was a reminder in your head not to anger him.

“The hell do you think you’re doin’?” He says angrily, glaring at you. He was livid, frustrated, and mostly offended. He had been so gentle and kind with you, and you go off and try and run away.

“I was trying— I was, I just got lost, Rick.” You plead quickly, your words a mess as you look up at him pleadingly. Your lips tremble as you see his fists clench and his nose flare. He was pissed off.

“You’re trying to leave me, aren’t you?” He scoffs, turning away to shake his head in disbelief. “Un-fucking-believable.” He sighs to himself. You shrivel up, tears pricking at your eyes. You didn’t want him to be angry at you, why was he angry? You loved him.

“I swear, I swear I’m not. I won’t try to leave, Rick.” You step forward and pull him into a hug, burying your face into his chest as you whimper. He lets out a dramatic groan, rolling his eyes and reluctantly wrapping his arms around you.

“You can’t keep doing this, sweetheart. You know I care about you. How am I supposed to take care of you when you’re not with me, hmm? You’re so small, someone else could just,” He initiates a pew pew sound, making you flinch and curl up further into him. He holds back a mean snicker.

“Say, why don’t you start staying with me? I’ll keep you safe. You’ll wake up in my arms every day and I can stuff that needy pussy whenever you want.” He coos lovingly into your ear, gently picking you up.

The rest was history. Shortly after, you moved in with him, and now you woke up every morning in his arms and fell asleep in them. He would manage to sneak into some of your shifts as the Commander to keep watch, but you could feel his eyes burning through your uniform, you knew you were the only reason why he was there.

But today, something felt off. You were talking with one of the friends you had made in the past month, Micheal. He was one of the B’s as well, you saw him from 8 am to 6 pm every day and during meal breaks. He was sweet, fluffy hair with a killer smile and dimples to die for.

“Did you know one of the a B’s broke into the cafeteria last night and stole a bunch of food? The commanders were all talking about it this morning, they’re pissed.” He innocently gossips. He smiles at you, turning to face you slightly as he stabs a walker right in the face.

You remember Rick slightly talking about it earlier. You give Micheal a nod, politely smiling back at him.

“I dunno who did it, but I hope they got enough for me. I’m starving.” You joke softly. He chuckles and nods, his hands at work but his eyes on you.

As the two of you continue talking happily, relieved at the small distraction from the labor you were forced to do, you feel a pair of eyes burn onto your back. Your heart skipped a beat as you quickly knew who it was. You could recognize that grumpy aura from anywhere.

Peering behind you, you made quick eye contact with a tall commander. Even with the mask on, you knew it was him, you could tell. He was staring right at you, arms crossed and body language annoyed.

You shrink slightly and glanced back at Micheal, taking a small step back. You cough to yourself.

“Sorry, I’ve been kinda sick recently so.. We should keep some space, don’t wanna get you sick, do I?” You laugh softly.

He blinks in surprise before nodding quickly, a small blush coming over his cheek as he realizes his close he was to you. It was cute how giddy he was when it came to you, it was obvious the boy had a crush.

“Of course! What do you have? A cold? Fever? Do you want me to bring something over later? I have some medicine at my place.”

It was as if Rick had heard those words because next thing you know you’re getting shoved back into a hard chest.

“Consignee, you’re being called.” A rough voice says. You look up behind you to see the tall commander you already knew who was gazing down at you coldly. He diverts his attention to Micheal, and his gaze goes angry. You can see the dents between his brows that he has when he gets angry.

“Yes, commander.” You salute, glancing at Micheal and giving him a weak smile before walking off.

Rick stands there for a moment, glaring at Micheal, before following you.

Once you’re inside the building and in a private hall, he doesn’t waste a second and shoves you against a wall, his mask already off and his face all up in yours.

“Who the hell do you think you are? Flirting with others in front of my face like I’m some fuckin’ idiot.” He snapped. His rough hands go to hold your shoulders flush to the wall, his eyes narrowed with a glint of menace in them. He was angry, pissed off, and confused.

Why would you go and flirt with someone else when you have him? He was the perfect husband— talk, handsome, sweet personality, and amazing bed skills, something he was sure Micheal didn’t have. Stupid Micheal probably didn’t even know how to be a real man. Rick was a real man.

“What are you talking about?” You gasp. “I wasn’t flirting with him— what?! Me and him are just friends!” You counter immediately, getting defensive and offended.

“Like hell you are,” He scoffs, pushing you closer. His eyes gaze down at you coldly, narrowed and furious. He stares at you before pressing his nose against you, his hot breath on your face. You shiver and try to lean back but the wall has you trapped.

“You’re lucky I didn’t kill him right there, would have painted the gates with his blood. Would you of liked that?” He sneers. You go still momentarily, thinking over his harsh threat, your heartbeat racing.

“No, no Rick. You don’t need to do all that— I won’t talk to him.” You say quickly, reaching to gently cup his face with your shaky palms. You gulp nervously and attempt to soothe him, rubbing gently and pressing a little peck to his lips. He growls against your lips, pulling you back in when you attempt to part. He doesn’t want to be away from you right now, he wants all of you and your loyalty entirely.

It had been a few days since then. Everything was supposedly fine, you guessed. Rick was still watching you like a hawk. You could feel the glare on your back whenever Micheal goes anywhere near you, so you make sure to come up with excuses to leave the young man alone for the sake of his safety.

You didn’t want anything to happen to him. You knew Rick. You used to, that is. You had no idea why he had changed so much, but you couldn’t just leave him. No— You loved him. You wouldn’t leave. Maybe you could help him go back to his old self, maybe he was just damaged.

Yeah. That’s it. He needs you. You have to help him. Aid him in returning to his old self so you can have *your* Rick back.

You were out by the lake when you heard leaves crunching next to you. You turned to face the disturbance, your heart skipping a beat when you thought it was Rick— but the sight of the blonde boy had you relaxing for some reason.

“Micheal.” You greet with a polite smile, shuffling on the bench to make room for him. He smiles back at you and sits down, a few inches between your thighs.

“You alright? I’ve uh, noticed you’ve been a little distant recently.” He frowned, leaning back on the bench and gazing at the beautiful lake in front of the two of you. It was fall, the leaves were falling and the sidewalk was covered in a variety of red, orange, and yellow.

Your smile twitched as you picked at your hair.

“It’s nothing, just haven’t been feeling well. I think I caught a cold.” You chuckle softly, facing him slightly. You put your arm on the back of the bench, leaning on your palm. You gazed at him closely.

Knowing Rick wasn’t here, you felt oddly comfortable. You weren’t scared of accidentally angering him by being friendly with Micheal like you could breathe clearly for once.

He gives you a concerned look, brows furrowing innocently.

“Oh, that’s not good. How do you feel today?”

A small sigh left you as you squirmed in your position, not sure what to say. Pressing your lips together for a moment, you pondered.

“…Peachy.”

A small giggle left the both of you as you sat and conversed freely, no commanders breathing down your neck or glaring daggers.

You should have known that the peace never lasted long when it came to being married to a ticking time bomb. The second you entered your apartment, the air was tense and you could tell by the way Rick was looking at you that you did something wrong.

“What’s wrong?” You said immediately, rushing forward to him. You gently place your hands on his forearms, frowning up at him innocently. What did you do? Why is he angry?

He grunts lowly and grabs you by your shoulders, pushing you back until your back is against the wall. You failed to speak as your throat went dry, your heart stopping for a good second.

“Rick—“ Your voice cracked, a yelp leaving you as his fist landed on the wall just inches from your face.

“Shut the hell up, you ungrateful little,” He inhales deeply before he says something he knows he’ll regret. One hand next to you clenched in a fist, the other rubbing his jaw in a stressed manner, he finally looks down at you with a harsh glare.

“Do you even love me?” He chokes out, blinking. His voice was scratchy, the southern accent from years ago a subtle hint now.

You blink in surprise, lips parting as you stand there confused and fearful.

“W-What? Of course, I do! You're my husband, I searched for you for years,” You were once again interrupted by him as he raised his voice at you, making you flinch and cower in his presence.

“The hell were you doin’ with Micheal, huh?! That skimpy little boy— Out there by the lake, talking like you’re two little love birds, who the hell do you think you are?!” He snaps.

His hands come up to your face aggressively, making you flinch as you think he’s gonna hit you. He instead cups your cheeks and leans down so he’s breathing down your cheeks.

“You thought I was gon’ hit you? Is that how low you think of me? What the hell?” His raised voice has you practically trembling in fear, legs wobbly and bottom lip quivering pathetically.

“N-No Rick, you know I don’t think of you like that. You’re scaring me, please.” You whimpered out, attempting to squirm out of his hold. He tightens his grasp on you, pressing his body against yours.

“You shut that pretty mouth of yours, baby, before I do something you really won’t like. I’ll give you a reason to cry, got that? Huh?” He shakes you, making your eyes burn with humiliation and tears.

“Y-Yes.” You nod, your hands shakily reaching for him as you weakly attempt to push his hands off your face. In response, he slightly slaps your cheek as a warning, a pressurized pat.

You blink hard, trying to hold back the tears. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

He stares you down, thinking silently in his head. He was quiet, and his silence was more threatening than his words for some reason. He was unrecognizable when it came to reading him. He used to be easy to calm down, but not anymore.

“Y’know, I never got to see you with a baby bump. Saw you raise Carl with me, but never saw you pregnant. Never.” He mumbles. His eyes narrow as he looks you up and down. His words send goosebumps down your spine, the dark reasoning behind them known to you. You attempt to push him off more firmly now, sniffling.

“Don’t do this,” You choke out. He ignores your pleas and grabs you, manhandling you into his bed and pressing you down. His body was big and muscular, he had grown a lot. Small pleas leave your throat as you squirm and thrash, but it’s all useless to him.

“Shhhh, I’m not gonna hurt ya’, is it so bad I wanna see my wife pregnant? You’d look so cute, belly full of my babies.” He whispers, smiling down at your form. He pushes his hands under your shirt and pulls it up over your head. It gets stuck on your head because of your thrashing, making him roll his eyes in annoyance.

He slaps your thigh once he has the shirt off you, scowling down at you.

“Behave, or I swear to god.” He hisses. He watches as you start to let tears stream down your cheeks, and he holds back the smile as he reaches down and gently kisses them away.

“Don’t cry baby, you’re gonna be the prettiest mama I know.” He mumbles as he starts to kiss up your belly, pampering you with affection that only makes you feel worse. Every kiss has you sniffling and hiccuping under him, your body trembling.

“Can’t run from me when you’re pregnant with my child, right?” He chuckles darkly, large hands cupping your belly. He squeezes it gently and smiles at your reaction.

He pulls you in for a kiss, hands tugging down your pants and panties, not wasting any time. He was impatient, he’d admit it. He didn’t want another second to go where you weren’t stuffed full of his seed.

Spreading your thighs was hard with the way you were squeezing them shut. He rolls his eyes at your fight but easily holds them apart, the other hand going down to your pussy.

He clicks his tongue as he feels how barely wet you are. “Whatever, it’ll do.” With that, he shoves his fingers into your mouth. He glares at you, waiting for your saliva to coat his fingers before he pulls out and shoves them knuckle-deep into your cunt.

“A-Augh!” You gasp at the sudden burn in your lower region, your body tensing and eyes fluttering. Even with your salvia around the fingers currently thrusting deeper into you, it still hurt like a bitch to be stretched open so suddenly. Rick’s fingers were thick.

“Shhh, take it, c'mon.” He mutters, eyes narrowed as his fingers keep sliding in and out roughly, not giving you a chance to breathe as he makes scissoring motions.

Your moans are forced out of your throat. Even with how hard you were trying to hold them back, Rick knew exactly how to make you feel good, knew which spots make your toes curl and which ones made you cum the hardest.

He ignores your shaky cries and how you begged him to stop, his fingers only going harder. You curl up at the feeling, gasping. You were already feeling close to cumming to your embarrassment.

“So close already?” He snickers meanly, pulling out swiftly and rushing to unbuckle his belt and pull down his jeans. He was in a hurry, a hurry to get balls-deep in you and fuck you until you’re leaking cum. “Poor baby.” He tsk’s at your whimper.

“No, don’t— Rick,” You beg desperately as he pulls out his hard cock and positions himself on top of you, tip against your opening and his hands holding you down. You feel more tears coming as your legs are forced open and your thighs are pressed against your chest, knees almost touching your chin.

You sob under him as he slowly thrusts inside, his eyes rolling back at the feeling of your tight pussy squeezing him. Even with how he stretched you open, it still felt like he was ripping you open whenever he slid himself into you.

He presses his chest down onto your thighs, legs over his shoulders, and his hands grab yours to hold them above your head. Your eyes roll back at the feeling, trembling in a mix of fear, pain, and arousal. You didn’t k is what to do.

“Please—“

“Shut up, shhh.” He starts to thrust, and you immediately start to moan at how deep his cock hit inside you. Gasping for air as you choked on your tears, his grunt grew louder as he picked up a smooth pace.

“Gonna stuff this pussy full of my babies, you’re gonna be so pretty pregnant, baby, don’t cry, don’t cry.” He soothes you, thrusting harder into your wailing hole.

Even with how good it felt to have him thrust into your body, his body pressing against yours with his lips pressing gentle kisses all over you, you couldn’t focus on any of it. All you could think of was how much he had changed. The Rick you knew would never do this to you.

Your body was being pleasured, but your heart was being stabbed over and over again, aching and throbbing painfully. You just wanted this all to stop and for him to hold you close and comfort you. Was that too much to ask for?

He groans and reaches down to get as close to you as possible, saying, "Fuck, fuck." He intended for you to feel every single inch of him, the depth of him being there in your tiny little pussy, and every feeling he gave you.

“Ya’ feel that? Yeah? Can you feel how deep I am in that pussy of yours? I can feel you gripping me, my love; must feel so good, doesn't it?” Your cries are muffled as he successfully presses his cock further, his fat head grazing your tender region and making you clench up.

“Gonna cum inside you and force you to take every drop, knock you up, and then you can’t leave me. You’re not going anywhere, all mine sweetheart.” He rambles into your ear as his thrusts continue, your eyes rolling back at the force and pace. You sobbed under him for mercy but he didn’t listen, instead tightening his grip on your wrists.

“Fuckkkk, feels so good,— Take every bit of it, kay? Gon’ make you cry so much harder if you don’t,” He groans. He buries himself as deep inside you as he can, hugging you tightly to his chest as he releases his thick load in your walls. It takes him a moment to part from you, sweating and panting. You had him whimpering on top of you, still holding you down. He starts to sloppily thrust again, making you flinch at the feeling.

“No, please stop! I can’t take anymore, please!” You plea, whining shakily as he rams into your sensitive hole over and over again. You already had his cum dripping out of you, the squelching sounds making you blush in embarrassment as he kept going. He invokes your words and continues his torturous pace.

“We’re gonna be here for a while, sweetheart.” He chuckles darkly. With a raspy groan, he grasps your waist, letting your wrists go finally and holding your waist as leverage to batter your insides easier.

“If you think I’m goin’ to sleep tonight without a shit load of cum inside you, then you’re stupider than I thought.”

Yeah, you were definitely getting pregnant after this.

#rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x reader smut #rick grimes smut #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead x reader smut #the walking dead smut #twd #towl #twd towl #the ones who live #twd the ones who live #Spotify

[five-rivers]

Cracked Clay Cup Chapter 17

@greatbigolhampuckjustforme

Danny reappeared in the entryway of Clockwork’s house in a swirl of blue.  He met Clockwork’s eyes for just a moment and saw the muted concern in them.  

He couldn’t stand it.  

He darted to the side and made for the stairs.  

“Daniel–” said Clockwork, behind him, but he ignored him.  

He reached his bedroom and dove under the covers of the bed, wrapping himself up in the quilt, because he missed grabbing the sheet underneath it.  He pressed the nearest pillow into his face and tried to stop crying.  

“Daniel,” repeated Clockwork softly from near the doorway.  Danny hadn’t closed the door.  

Danny shook his head.  Whatever Clockwork wanted right now, Danny just couldn’t–

The edge of the bed sank down as Clockwork sat on it.  He put a hand on Danny’s shoulder.  “It will be alright, Daniel.  You are safe here.”

“You know– You know what they did.”

“I do.”

“How could you just let me– How could you let me go there?”

Clockwork sighed.  “I am bound by the limits of the role I have taken on.  I could not tell you.”

Typical.  Danny rubbed angrily at his eyes.  “How did I get away?  Do you know?”

“I know,” said Clockwork.  He didn’t say anything else.  

“But you can’t tell me, is that it?”

“If I were to tell you,” said Clockwork, carefully, “I would be removed from my current role and replaced by someone… less able.  The Observants are ever eager to exert control.”

Danny sniffled.  Clockwork’s explanation was reasonable, from a certain perspective.  It still hurt.  

“Why did they do it?” asked Danny.  “They said they wanted to understand, but they–  Who could do that if they wanted to understand?”

“I cannot say that I understand their motives,” said Clockwork.  “I certainly couldn’t imagine acting like that.”  He began rubbing a small circle into Danny’s back.  “But you need never see them again, if that is your wish.”

A sob caught in Danny’s throat, and before he knew what he was doing, he had twisted around to throw himself into Clockwork’s arms.  Clockwork received him with a remarkable amount of grace.  

“I don’t know why–  I don’t– Why I’m acting like this, I barely know them, knew them, it shouldn’t feel like–”  He didn’t know how to describe it.  “I don’t know why.”

“The why of it does not matter so much as the fact that you do feel that way,”  said Clockwork, continuing to pat Danny’s back.  

“It matters to me.”

“Ah, I see,” said Clockwork, soothingly.  “I’m sorry.  Of course it matters to you.  Of course.”

“I’m sorry,” said Danny.  

“No, no,” said Clockwork, “it’s quite alright.”

“I’m crying on you.”

“It’s fine,” said Clockwork.  “Tears wash out.”

“I don’t know why.”

“You learned about something very upsetting.  This is natural.”

“I don’t remember it.”

“It still happened, and is responsible for your present circumstances.  It’s alright to cry.  I will be here.”

.

“I made oatmeal today,” said Clockwork, putting a steaming bowl down in front of Danny.  “I thought that something simple would be best, after last night.”

Danny grunted and picked up a spoon to stir the oatmeal.  It wasn’t as simple as all that, really.  Clockwork had put raisins and cinnamon sugar in it.  It probably tasted just as good as all the other food Clockwork had made for him.  

“I’m supposed to choose now,” said Danny, listlessly. 

“This is the stage of the trial where you choose, but you need not do so immediately.  I cannot advise you on how to choose, or how to weigh your options, but it would not be out of the question for you to contemplate the matter for several days.”

“Right,” said Danny.  He scrubbed at his face.  Even after he’d sent Clockwork away, he’d cried on and off all night.  His skin around his eyes felt grainy and salty.  “What happens, when I choose?  Do you just teleport me back and the doors start working again?  And I, um, get my memory back?”

“That is a portion of it,” said Clockwork.  He sat down at the table across from Danny.  “First, however, the power involved in the ritual that is the trial would coalesce into a bond between you and your chosen guardian.  This would include the power involved in altering your form, so you would shortly thereafter regain your original appearance.”

“I kind of like the ears and tail, though.”  He ran his hands over his ears reflexively.  “They’re fluffy.”

Clockwork smiled.  “There are ways you can either regain or retain them.  Once that has occurred, the Observants will come to return your memories, and, finally, you will be escorted to your guardian.”

“Huh,” said Danny.  He poked at the oatmeal some more.  

“You should eat,” said Clockwork, gently.  

Danny sighed, and did his best.  

.

“I should make a list,” said Danny, having given up on breakfast.

“Of what?” asked Clockwork.  

“Names,” said Danny.  “Of people.  Choices.”

“You already have one of those,” Clockwork pointed out.  “In the folder.”

“Oh.  Yeah.  Where did that get to, anyway?”

Clockwork slid it across the table, along with a pencil.  

“Thanks,” said Danny.  He flipped the folder open.  “I guess I can start by crossing off the people I’m definitely not going to choose.”

“That seems like a logical way to proceed,” agreed Clockwork.  

“So.  Not the Observants, obviously.”

He looked up at Clockwork out of the corner of his eye.  He could swear he’d seen him smirk at that pronouncement.  Just a little.  

“And not Skulker, Ember, and Technus,” he continued, moving down to the next entry he could safely cross out.  “And not, and not, um.  Not Jack and Maddie.  Those’re– those are the ones I can’t, who won’t, um.  Yeah.”  He looked at the rest of the list.  “Vlad is okay, but he lied to me a bunch, and I don’t really get why we were enemies, so when I get my memory back, I might hate him again, so not him.  Jazz…”

Danny licked his lips and tapped the eraser of the pencil against the table.  He liked Jazz.  And she was his sister.  Given everything else, he could sort of understand why she was lying, but…  No.  Vlad had a point, saying that he shouldn’t choose her.

“Not Jazz,” said Danny, finally.  “I don’t want to do that to her.  Which leaves Pandora and Frostbite.”

“A difficult decision indeed.”

“Yeah,” said Danny.  He sighed.  Either one of them would be good.  Different.  Very different.  The culture shock would be hard.  Ancient Greece and the Far Frozen were both very different from what he was used to.  But Frostbite and Pandora would take care of him, and that’s what really mattered, in the end.  

But he had to wonder if there wasn’t another option.  

“Clockwork, you knew me before, didn’t you?”

“I cannot tell you that.”

“Right.  But Jazz knew you, which sort of implies that I knew you.  So.  You knew me.”  Danny bit his lower lip, thinking.  “You, um.  Why didn’t you join in?  As a guardian, I mean.  Why didn’t you, um.  Apply?  Is that the right term?”

“It’s as good as any.”  Clockwork leaned back in his chair.  “There are still limits on what I can tell you.”

“Yeah, but tell me what you can tell me.”

“If I were to adopt a child,” said Clockwork.  “Any child, not necessarily you; you understand that I cannot speak of such specifics.”

“Right,” said Danny.  

“But, if I were to try to adopt a child, the Observants would be very cross with me.”

“Why?”

“Because my responsibilities to such a child would supercede my oaths and duties to them.  They would not appreciate the loss of control, and would do everything in their power to prevent it.”

“Like, by making you be a neutral party.  Taking you out of the running.”

“Yes,” said Clockwork.  “That would be something they might do.”

Danny fidgeted with the edge of the paper folder.  “If you– Did you–  Would you have applied?  If you could?  You know, hypothetically.”

“Yes,” said Clockwork, simply.

Danny took a deep breath and rubbed his hands on his thighs.  “Then…  Then, if I…  I can choose anyone, can’t I?  Anyone I want, right?”

“Correct,” said Clockwork.  “That is the base rule upon which this whole trial is based.”

“So… what happens if I do?  If I, um, if I choose you?”

“That would be a nonstandard ending to the trial,” said Clockwork.  “It would not end as smoothly, perhaps, as it normally would.  The pathways that the power involved would travel upon may be confused.  You may not regain your original form.  The Observants would certainly withhold your memories.”

“And that would be… bad,” said Danny.  “That would be…”  He shook himself all over.  “I, um.  I don’t think…”  He faltered, looking down at his hands.  “That wouldn’t be much of a loss.  Really.”

“Fifteen years of memories is not insignificant,” said Clockwork, a note of warning in his voice.  “This is not a decision to make lightly.  It will affect your entire life.  There may even be other side effects that I have not listed.  Things that even I cannot foresee.”

“I don’t think I want to remember.  Not if it means remember what…”  He swallowed, with difficulty.  If what had been written in that binder had actually happened, he didn’t want to remember it.  “I’ve been thinking about this decision for months, right?  Every moment I remember.  I’m not making it lightly.  I know how important it is.”

Clockwork inclined his head towards Danny, acknowledging the point.  

“Pandora and Frostbite are great, but…”  Danny took a deep breath.  “But it’s you.  I choose you.”  He braced himself preparing for rejection.  A sort of tension built inside his chest until the feeling scraped the edge of pain.  

Then Clockwork was next to him and reached out to him, putting one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek.  “Oh, Daniel,” he said.  

The tension abruptly collapsed, and Danny let himself fall forward, into Clockwork’s arms.  Clockwork carded a gloved hand through Danny’s hair, ruffling his ears.  

“It’s okay, right?  It’s okay for me to choose you.”

“Of course it is,” said Clockwork.  “Of course.  I cannot tell you how glad I am.”

“But you can tell me other things, though, right?  You’re not neutral anymore.”

“Quite right,” said Clockwork, and Danny could hear a smile in his voice.  “I have so many things to tell you.”

“What kind of things?” asked Danny, settling his head against Clockwork’s collarbone.  Or whatever ghosts had instead of collarbones.  

“All sorts,” said Clockwork.  He chuckled.  “You’ll be able to see my actual lair.”

“Is it purple, too?”

“You’ll see.”

#danny phantom #phic phight #phic

[bean-bean2000]

The Maid - Part 11

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of violence, depression, mentions of suicide, despair, feeling trapped. Mentions of abuse and rape.

Please read at your own risk. Your own media consumption is not my responsibility. Please read and review the warnings before proceeding.

Thank you and enjoy!

Part 10

Series masterlist Main Masterlist

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You wake to the sun shining in from the small square window and the caws of a raven.

Sitting up slowly, you head directly to the bathroom to bathe. No thoughts have crossed your mind as you’re functioning on autopilot.

You look at your reflection and see nothing. In the deepest parts of your mind you can hear the locked chest rattling and moving to get out, much like Pandora's box, but you push it further.

Not anymore. Just focus on your job. I can’t do this anymore. For your own sanity, push them out.

You get ready for the day and head out to your first destination: the King’s bedroom.

As you perform your duties, it feels as though you’re floating. The world around you seems hazy, almost as if somebody else is controlling your body as you watch through your eyes.

You’re cleaning the room robotically, as you move around sweeping and dusting. You hear nothing besides this constant deep buzzing.

Suddenly you feel a hand wrap around your forearm and makes you turn around. You show no reaction as you’re turned to face Loki, staring at you with squinted eyes.

He’s saying something but you can’t hear until you shake your head out of the haze and focus again. You curtsy low and address him “Hello, my king. How may I be of assistance?”

He stares at you, searching your eyes. “Are you well?” he asks.

“How do you mean, my king?” you reply stoically.

He can’t find that fire behind your eyes that used to burn with defiance, nor that snarkiness he loves to see when you challenge him. He only sees empty eyes staring back at him.

“What happened?” he demands rather than asking.

“I'm unsure what you are referring to, my king. I am simply doing my job, as your maid. I’m doing as you said, your highness. I know my place.” Your eyes look sunken and void of anything.

He frowns at your reply when you turn around and continue your work as he stares at you in confusion and worry.

He steps in front of you “Stop.”

You immediately obey “Yes, my king.” and you stand there waiting for his next order.

He continues to search your eyes, not understanding how a woman with such strong character, the woman he met a few days prior who would rather be beaten than to obey an order, suddenly accept a command so easily.

He sits you down on a chair and analyzes you. He can’t sense any foreign or dark magic on you. There is no curse he can identify. He’s bewildered by your drastic change in character, until he notices this dark purple aura surrounding your body. He doesn’t understand how he hadn’t felt the presence of this magic before, but he quickly realizes that it isn’t foreign. It’s coming from within you.

Thinking out loud he says "You're not supposed to have magic. How is this possible?"

Then, he remembers something his mother had told him years ago when he was a boy:

~~~

"Mother, what do the colours I see around people mean? Everybody has a different one. Why is that?" Young Loki asks.

"My son, those colours are called auras. Everybody has a different aura depending on their type of magic that they have and use. Sometimes, people may have dormant magic, subdued from years of being unused. Those auras, are much different, however. They are usually a deep orange, which can eventually turn into another colour when and if they start using their magic again." The Allmother explains to her eldest child.

"But what about dark purple? I was reading a book in the library that mentioned dark purple auras but I wasn't able to find any details about it." the curious boy questions.

"Dark purple? That is a very rare aura... one I have not seen since our last Great War, centuries ago. A dark purple aura happens when somebody born with magic, has suffered greatly. As a result, their magic is naturally subdued, because the most dangerous and volatile person is one who uses and grows their magic through hate and pain. The dark purple aura reflects the pain and trauma they've endured and almost acts as a warning to others. It is well known by all experts of magic that a dark purple aura cannot be cleared without the affected person healing themselves fully from their trauma." she explains.

"How do you heal them?"

"That is where the issue lays, my sweet boy. Over the years we have learned that this can only happen one way: True love and complete trust. It has been noted that the only thing that can break such pain, sadness and anguish, is unconditional love. Very few cases have been recorded where one with a dark purple aura has found such love and managed to free themselves and accept their true aura, stemming from their true, healed, self." she grabs ahold of her sons hand and guides him through her garden.

"This type of magic is the most powerful and the most difficult to attain as it is not really magic at all. Nobody can simply enchant another to fall in love. The love must be true. This means, it cannot be influenced by any unnatural forces. It cannot be forced or tricked, which is why it is the most difficult ailment to cure, unfortunately. Even more so as times passes because true love has lost its meaning over the years. No book or magical spell can tell you what true love is because there is no singular definition. For a mother, it may be the love she has for her child, for another it may be their significant other, or their sibling...It differs from person to person. Sometimes, an act of true love by the affected person themselves or the one that they love, can break the dark purple aura. Unfortunately, at times, those acts of unconditional love, are fatal; sacrificing yourself for another. True love is a very fragile and fickle thing. Extremely difficult to attain but very easy to break." she sighs sadly as she walks through the mazes of her garden.

Young Loki remained silent the rest of their walk, mind reeling trying to understand what true love really means.

~~~

At that moment he decides to do the one thing he promised himself he would never do without one’s consent.

He places two fingers on your forehead, and you feel a tingle as he begins to read your mind and replay your memories. He starts from last night, with the intention of going back as far as possible to understand who you really are.

When he begins, he can see the box of emotions hidden deep within your subconscious, locked with chains and kept hidden well beyond. He replays your memories in your room and the bathroom.

He pulls back in surprise. “How did you do that?” he asks you.

You do not reply to him and stare blankly through him.

"But... if your magic is supposedly dormant, how are you able to dissociate yourself and psychologically lock your emotions away?... Can I reverse it?" he asks himself, thinking out loud.

He taps once again into your memories and chases after the locked chest hidden in the furthest part of your mind. As he begins to approach it, it moves again, further away every time. Finally, Loki decides to try halting it in its spot with his magic. When he tries to do so, a sudden intense wave of fire scorches around him. Confused, he touches it and to his surprise, he can feel the heat from the fire within your mind. As he tries to step through, a phoenix emerges and screams as it flies at him. He feels the power of the phoenix throw him backwards and he inhales depply as staggers back on the table in his room. He's breathing heavily, heart racing as stares at you in disbelief.

What just happened? Did she throw me out of her mind? How is that possible... that has never happened... Who are you?

"May I resume my work, my king?" you asks monotonously.

Loki shakes his head incredulously and waves his hand in the air "Yes, yes, continue. I must take my leave."

He quickly walks to the door and looks behind his shoulder before leaving, watching you broom the floor as if nothing happened.

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#fanfic #marvel #angst #loki x reader #loki of asgard #loki fanfiction #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki series #loki #fluff #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #magic #asgardians

[troublefemme]

Well, fuck.

"The developments in 1950s lesbian culture moved with accelerating force toward ending secrecy. In the context of severe repression, the forms of resistance became a dead end. By the late 1950s, the butches’ constant confrontation with the straight world, and the unmitigated disapproval it generated, led to extreme stigmatization and, therefore, isolation. Narrators’ sentiments of pride were commonly accompanied by equally powerful feelings of self-hate.

This is especially true of the leaders of the late 1950s. Vic remembers her embarrassment during a summer picnic in her backyard during the 1960s:

“Now Dana comes in, she’s got tattoos runnin’ up and down her arms, and size eighty-four boobs, and Jamestown Gerry and then my landlord comes out. Should I be embarrassed at my friends? I was. I say, ‘Never again will that happen.’ Y’know I’ve been embarrassed at myself, many times, but if I have to be embarrassed at the people that are around me… and I was.… And my landlord goin’… he’s checkin’ arms, he’s checkin’ tits, then he’s lookin’ at flies, he don’t know what to make of the God damn [whole thing]. This is never gonna make it then.”

The pain and degradation has stayed with her and is perhaps even heightened by the lack of appreciation for who she was and is in today’s lesbian community.

“Like people say to me, i could be a butch, I could do this. I could do that.’ Anybody could be, y’know, for a weekend or a week. But go through life… dressing the way I dress, being with women who are [fem, and] men pick on you because you are with them. This is a different story.” At another point in her story she explains: “Well, it’s like I have to low-grade myself, don’t have to but I do, because of what I am. … Well because it’s been in my head. You have never had your face broke for being a queer, I have. For like twenty years of my life. And now, because you can go to a gay dance or something I’m supposed to say, ‘Oh wow, now I can go there.’… But I can’t even go there and do that cause I’m a butch and they don’t want me either. Where do I go, I don’t have where to go? I had to stay right where I’m at.”

- Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community by Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy and Madeline Davis

#trouble posts #Bella's books 📚

[totallyunidentified]

Friendly Fire

This is the longest thing I've written yet.

I started this right after episode 14 came out early Wednesday morning.

Enjoy my little Echo ficlet/Prophecy

HEAVY SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 14 OF TBB SEASON 3

When they finally make it inside Tantiss, Crosshair's hand is shaking worse than ever. He had tried everything he could to not return only for his worst nightmare to happen. He’s back and Omega was there because of him. Because of his misfire. He had hoped that he wouldn't have had to even talk about Tantiss again but here he is. They run through corridor after corridor simply taking out whatever stormtroopers they come across, they can’t afford anything going wrong. 

“We have to find Echo!” Crosshair calls to Hunter and Wrecker as they keep up their search. They had gone completely com silent so they have no idea where the reg could be. 

Emeri had led Echo to the vault. Despite her warning him, he’s shocked at the conditions the children are being held in. 

They walk in together and another female doctor walks up to Emeri looking at her with thinly veiled disdain 

“Doctor Karr you are aware that stormtroopers aren't allowed in the vault with the specimens. I shall have to report this to Dr. Hem-,” 

Before she can finish her sentence Echo is astounded when Emeri pulls her arm back and knocks out the other doctor in one hit. 

“I guess you really are a clone!” He comments as she uses the incapacitated doctor’s datapad to turn off all the security measures. 

Omega, seeing Emeri take action, immediately jumps on top of the medical droid and reprograms it telling it to shut down. She then jumps off and rejoins the other children moving to stand between them and the man in a stormtrooper uniform in front of her. 

Echo sees Omega standing in front of four other children as if she's guarding them. She’s watching him suspiciously and he realizes he’s forgotten to take off his helmet. 

“Echo!” Omega almost sobs before throwing herself in his arms. When he wraps his arms around her, Omega notices he has two hands holding her. When he lets go she grabs his robotic hand and twists and turns it trying to get a better look at it.

“This is new,” Omega comments and starts to ask but Echo just shrugs. 

“It grew back on its own,” Echo says with a straight face making Omega arch her eyebrow at him. 

“Suuuure” Omega says, rolling her eyes and grinning at him. She turns to Emeri,

 “So you finally decided you wanted to help us?” 

Emeri looks down at the floor frowning and then back up at Omega

 “I- I am a clone like you. I realize my actions have been counter to what I should have been doing, but I swear I’m ready to do better” Omega smiles at her and gives her a quick hug, shocking Emeri

 “I have…never gotten one of those before.”

“Better get used to it” Echo quips, turning to the rest of the kids in the vault. 

“…Hello. Are you guys ready to get out of here?” 

The kids look at each other and nod apprehensively. The Pantoran girl holding the baby moves closer behind the green boy, hiding. 

“We’re just kids, how are we supposed to help get us out?” she asks in a quiet voice. She's scared, they all are. Echo can see clearly. He remembers a similar situation on Kamino; while these kids weren’t soldiers, they still had something about them. Echo just had to make them see that.

Echo kneels down to see eye to eye with the kids.

“You guys are here because there’s something special about you right? Even the Imps could see it. They needed you for a reason, just like right now I need you to be brave. I need you to have courage. Be strong. You have the hearts of clones and the strength of the Jedi. Whatever it is that makes you special was in their blood and is in your blood. It’s in Omega’s blood, which I'd say is close enough to make you honorary clones. You aren’t some helpless children, you are strong and have heart! Now we need to get out of here!”

Echo starts to herd all of the kids plus Emeri to the doorway to get them out of there. 

“Wait!” Omega stops Echo. “I know a way we can get out of here. I have a distraction planned.” 

”Do you?” 

“Uh huh. The Zillo beast that they have in one of the containment areas, we can free it and let that distract the rest of the base.”

Echo just stands there for a moment and grins “You know, you remind me so much of someone that it almost scares me. He came up with these hair-brained schemes all the time too”

Omega stands up just a little straighter. “He sounds like fun”

“He was.” 

Echo turns to Emeri “You take the kids to the hangar and wait for us there.”

“Ok I’ll try. Come along, we have to hurry!” 

They run out of the vault together before Emeri points Echo and Omega in the right direction to go before urging the children to walk faster in the other direction.

As they run to the Zillo beast enclosure, Omega can't help but ask,”Where are the others?” She fears the worst but is relieved when Echo slows, “They are here…somewhere. We've gone com silent since we got here,” Omega nods at this, understanding the need to be untraceable. They fall into silence as they run through hallway after hallway with no interruptions. 

“After this…I want to be done. I want to find somewhere even more remote than Pabu and just stay there. Maybe we can find wherever Cut and Suu went! You and Rex can even join us. I'm sure Hunter wouldn’t mind,” Omega says to break the silence.

“...Omega, We-” 

“You have your mission, I know. I just want us to all be together again.” 

“Rex and I won't be done until all our brothers are free. If I'm honest even after that I don't know if I'll stop fighting for what I feel is right. There are the makings of a larger rebellion against the Empire, maybe I'll join them. I’m a soldier, ’Mega, it’s what I’m made for.”

“Yeah, but…” 

“Listen, after we get you out of here we can talk more about it but we need to find the beast and your brothers first.” 

Crosshair, Hunter, and Wrecker knew that they needed to find Omega then Echo, and fast. They run through the hallways and corridors turning corners and shooting the stormtroopers with barely a second glance. “Nothing from Echo?” Crosshair asks yet again. “Nothing!” Hunter answers as the men keep running, finding fewer troopers as they get deeper into Tantiss. Echo guides Omega through the halls keeping his new hand on her shoulder, his real hand holding his blaster. 

Crosshair is starting to panic. Omega is nowhere to be found and Echo hasn't checked in yet. He must have gotten off the ship and be somewhere in the facility. 

Omega and Echo are running towards a corner.

Crosshair comes to a T in the hallway 

They turn the corner. 

Crosshair sees a stormtrooper with a blaster in one hand and Omega grasped by the shoulder in the other.

Crosshair acts on instinct and doeswhat he had been doing the whole time they were running through Tantiss. 

His sister is in danger again. This time he wouldn’t fail her. 

His aim is sure and his hand steady as he immediately raises his rifle. 

The stormtrooper raises his hands as if to try and stop him but Crosshair has had enough, he briefly notices the strange stiffness of the trooper’s right hand but his mind is moving too fast to stop on that thought. 

He just wants to get Omega, find Echo, and get back to Pabu

He wants to leave Tantiss and blow the place to the Maker.

All these thoughts run through his head in a split second. 

Crosshair does what he does best: he shoots.

And this time. He doesn’t miss.

Hitting Echo in the chest. Directly over his heart. 

Crosshair watches the stormtrooper collapse. 

Omega screams and pushes Crosshair away when he runs to grab her.

He doesn't understand.

Until she takes off the stormtrooper’s helmet.

Crosshair can only watch in horror as Echo’s face is revealed. Somehow he is even paler than before. He lies on the ground and Omega puts her hand over his wound desperately trying to help.

All three clones rip their helmets off, dropping them to the ground. 

When Crosshair tries to step forward to try to help, Omega yells at him to just stay back. She sits on the ground beside Echo, he’s practically in her lap

Just this once Crosshair wishes that his hands had shaken.

The one time he wished he could have…Crosshair didn’t miss.

Echo knows he isn't going to make it. 

He can’t help but chuckle to himself over the way that this had occurred. It sounded all too familiar to what Rex had told him so long ago on Anaxes after he had been brought back. 

Rex walks into the room where Echo is getting a final look over by Kix and the other medics. Echo looks up at his captain, his brother. “Finally decided to tell me huh?” Rex can only nod and raises his hand to the back of his neck, his nerves all over the place. “Echo listen, I-,” Echo puts his hand up stopping him. “I know. You can tell me how but it won’t make a difference. He’s gone. He would've been here if he wasn’t. Just, just tell me he went down fighting,” Rex grimaces and brings his hand down putting it on his shoulder. He makes eye contact with Kix who moves to clear everyone else out of the room before leaving himself. “You know Fives, was there any other way?” Rex and Echo chuckle remembering Fives’ personality. “Tell me Rex…” Echo says seriously after a moment. Rex sighs but moves to sit next to Echo on the bed. “In the end…Fives didn’t die on the battlefield. I’m sorry Echo, but he was killed by a brother. By Fox. At the time we had no idea about the chips, but somehow Fives found out. We- I didn't believe him, I was there when it happened and he- well he died in my arms,” Rex says this without looking at Echo. When he finally does he sees Echo’s face not filled with anger as he suspected, but with sorrow? Even a bit of pity. “It isn't your fault Rex. You had no way of knowing, not even the Jedi knew and they were supposed to know everything.” Rex had looked at him and nodded. Echo had wanted to say more but couldn't, internally reeling about how Fives had been killed by a brother, and how he had died assuming he was the last domino to fall. 

Returning to the present, Echo’s eyes focus back on Omega and her hand on his chest. Once again reminding him of another blond clone who had left their handprint on his chest. 

Echo’s eyes move across the room and land on Crosshair, who can’t even look at him. “Hey Cross… I’d say that intel earned your hug.” And suddenly all the men are surrounding Echo and Omega. Crosshair has his hand on Echo’s scomp. He leans over and puts his forehead to Echo’s and whispers “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be, I would've done the same thing,” Echo says firmly and hopes that Crosshair believes him.

Crosshair can’t look at Echo as he stands up and turns away from him, wiping his hand across his eyes. Erasing the tears that Crosshair would refuse to say came. Hunter and Wrecker can’t even say anything. It’s Eriadu all over again. This time they are in a medical facility without their medic, and they can’t do anything to save Echo. Both take their turn to say goodbye and to put their own foreheads to Echo’s as the tears stream down both their faces. They’d gotten so used to crying around each other they barely even noticed it anymore. Unlike Crosshair who was still hiding his face.

Omega looks up just above where Echo is lying. Tears streaming down her face she swears she feels a familiar presence, one she had felt years ago as a young child back on Kamino. She looks back down at Echo who is looking at the same spot, a slight smile on his face. 

“Took you long enough you Di’kut,” Echo chuckles wincing. “You know, Fives, I never thought I'd be the last Domino to fall. Can’t say I’m glad for it.” 

Omega is the only one to hear this. Her other brothers stay back knowing that there is nothing they can do. She looks at them, scared, “Who is Fives?” The men all freeze. They all feel their stomachs drop. She looks back down towards Echo who is already watching her. The rise and fall of his chest is slowing. “Vod’ika, I-I’m… I don't want to go but, My brothers, they’re here. Fives, Rose, Hevy, Cutup, Droidbait, 99... They say I can march with them.” Echo’s eyes are glistening, unfocused. He wants to go with them but he has so much to do here. Omega can see his struggle and pushes her feelings away. 

“It’s ok Echo. You are done fighting, you can march with them.  We will be ok.” Omega’s eyes are full of tears but she doesn’t let them fall. She lays her head on Echo’s chest holding his hand in one of hers and putting the other hand on his chestplate. Feeling as his breaths grow shallow, his heartbeat slows and eventually fades away. Echo’s hand slowly lets go of Omega’s but grabs onto his twin’s. Echo barely notices the lack of metal weighing him down as Fives helps him up, grinning as he pulls Echo into a hug before he turns and leads Echo away with an arm around his neck. 

Omega looks up at Echo’s face. She doesn't think she ever saw him look this peaceful before.

The final domino. Fallen. But rising to join his brothers as they march on to forever.

#the bad batch #star wars #bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #tbb spoilers #tbb #tbb season three #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb tech #tbb echo #arc trooper echo

[chloe-caulfield94]

Max gives Joyce a piece of her mind

“Who is it that you got engaged to, Chloe?” Joyce only now noticed a new addition to Chloe’s usual hodgepodge of jewellery – a silver ring with many colourful stones on Chloe’s left ring finger. “I see he couldn’t even be bothered to buy you a proper ring. It should be gold, with a diamond. Like the one your father gave me”.

Chloe thought to herself: “Yes, that ring was beautiful. Too bad you sold it”. Chloe closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. “This is the best day of your life, Price. You’re not going to cry today”, she thought.

“It’s Max, mom”.

Joyce only now noticed Max standing behind Chloe in the doorway.

“Oh hi, Max! I’m so sorry you had to listen to our little quarrel. But you’ve been hanging around with Chloe almost every day since we moved to Seattle, so you’re used to that”.

“Mom, you’re not listening to me. It’s Max who …”

“Max is such a nice young woman. Why can’t you be more like her? She would never do something so reckless. You should …”

“Enough!” – said Max loudly, almost shouting, surprising everyone present, including herself. Max stepped in front of Chloe and continued, not as loud, but still way above her usual gentle tone of voice: “Enough. Joyce, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you ever since I met you again at the Two Whales. You can’t talk about your daughter that way!”

Joyce seemed shocked by Max’s words. David and Chloe less so.

“We meet for the first time after five years and you spend the majority of our conversation going on and on about how big of a burden your own child is? ‘Chloe chose to remain angry’. That’s what you said. Maybe you don’t even remember saying it, but I will never forget you saying that. She chose to be angry? Chloe chose none of the things that happened to her. She didn’t choose for William to be killed by a reckless trucker who fell asleep behind the wheel. She didn’t choose for me, her supposed best friend, to stop answering her calls and texts. She didn’t choose for Rachel to promise her a life together and then break up with her using a letter”.

“Max, what are you saying? Chloe and Rachel were just friends. They had sleepovers all the time!”

David furrowed his brow, surprised with his wife’s obliviousness. “Joyce, that’s exactly why they had so many sleepovers. I thought that was obvious. It’s why I always woke them up so early and tried to get them out of Chloe’s room. I didn’t want them fooling around under our roof. Just like I would if Chloe tried doing that with a boy”.

Max continued telling all the things she’d been wanting to tell Joyce for the past year: “Chloe didn’t choose for her stepfather to slap and demean her!”

David’s face turned red. Not out of anger, though. Out of shame.

“Chloe didn’t choose for Nathan Prescott to roofie and attempt to assault her and then threaten to shoot her! She didn’t choose for Frank Bowers to threaten to kill her with a knife! By the way, David. That’s why she took your revolver. For self-defence”.

David was distraught that his daughter had been in danger and he didn’t even know about it. “What? Chloe, why didn’t you tell me about it? I would’ve done something!”

Chloe responded, quoting David’s own words: “’For your own good, stay away from Chloe. She’s a loser and she’ll only drag you down’. I didn’t want to drag you down, David”.

David hung his head low, confronted with his own venomous words, having finally realized how crushing it must’ve been for Chloe to hear something like that from her own parent.

Max kept pouring her heart out: “What did you even argue with her about when I picked up that phone call? I tell you David hit her and your reaction is to yell at her? Not to hug her, to console her, to tell her everything is going to be alright? To yell at her. Then again, she pushed him. That was the problem. Chloe pushing. Not her stepfather reacting with violence to being ‘pushed’, whatever that even means, by a teenage girl. Chloe being a bad daughter, a disappointment. That was the problem. Well, I know for a fact Chloe would give her life to save yours and David’s. Without hesitation. I know that for a fact! How’s that for a bad daughter? And why do you always seem to be annoyed when you see Chloe? When she went into the diner that day, before she even said anything, you were already angry with her. Why? What was even that stupid speech about Chloe blowing her college fund on bacon? Did you really charge your own child for a few scraps of bacon? When we were kids, we would visit you at work. You always gave us pie. Are you telling me you charged us back then too? Should I be worried about my own college fund? Did you really keep a tab for your daughter and you paid it off using money William had set aside for Chloe’s education?”

“Max, that was a joke. Of course I didn’t actually charge Chloe”.

“Well if that was a joke, I didn’t feel amused to hear it. More like embarrassed. Why even joke that way? What you were trying to get at? Did you want to remind her she had got expelled from Blackwell, as if she didn’t remember that? Were you complaining that she visited you at work too often? Or did you think she ate too much? She’s rail-thin, for God’s sake. I can feel all her bones when I touch her. If anything, she should be eating more”.

Chloe blushed, as Max’s remark clearly indicated she had seen her, and touched her, while she was in a state of undress. But it seemed neither Joyce nor David picked up on it.

“When I finish my classes at U-Dub in the afternoon and Chloe is there to pick me up, that’s the best part of my day. I always smile when I see her. I cannot fathom how could anyone react to my Chloe with annoyance. And yet, you do. Almost every time I see you interact. Could you stop doing that? Pretty please, now that we’re going to become a family? Because it’s me who proposed to Chloe. And by the way, that ring was the best thing I could afford using the money I made in my summer job. I admit, it’s not gold and diamonds. It’s silvered steel and agates. But I think it suits my fiancée. It’s bold and colourful, just like her”.

Joyce was floored with the revelation. David not so much.

Joyce needed a moment to process the news: “What? But … I mean … That’s wonderful, Max! I’m so happy for you. I know you will be a good influence on Chloe. I know you will help her change for the better”.

Max sighed. She was no longer angry and she reverted to her normal, gentle speaking voice. But she still had a lot to say: “Joyce, Chloe is not some kind of work in progress that needs finishing. Not any more than any other human being is. I love her for who she is now, not for who she might become. My love for her is not conditioned on her changing in any way. She will, of course, just as I will change going through life at her side. This is going to be our journey. But it doesn’t have any set goal, other than being together. Our love, it’s not a one-way street. I stand to gain from it just as much as she does. Chloe saved my life. Twice. When Nathan Prescott caught me snooping in the dorms, Chloe shielded me with her own body and pushed him away. Even though he was armed and had threatened to murder Chloe just two days prior. And when Frank Bowers lunged at me with a knife, Chloe stopped him. She wrestled a taller, stronger man armed with a knife to save my life, with no weapon of her own, because in my unmatched wisdom I had told her to discard it. And she did save my life”.

David nodded in respect, impressed with his daughter’s tenacity in defending her loved ones.

Max continued: “She taught me how to overcome my fears. How to be strong. And she proved she would be willing to die just to spare me from feeling guilty. Which is something I would never accept. But it’s proof how loyal she is and how far she’s willing to go protect the people she loves. To protect me. Joyce, I’m not the child you remember me to be and I’m not the perfect young woman you imagined me to be in my absence. You don’t really know me. You don’t know what I did and what choices I made. I think I’m much farther away from your idea of a good daughter than you think I am. And Chloe is much closer to it than you think she is”.

Max paused for a while. Both Joyce and Chloe sniffed. They had tears in their eyes. David’s eyes expressed profound sadness as well.

Max decided to tell the last thing she’d been wanting to tell Joyce for a long time: “Joyce, I’m going to tell you something now. I’m not telling this to hurt you, or make you sad. On the contrary. When you hear what I have to say, even before I’m finished, I want you to interrupt me. I want you to be indignant. I want you to tell me I’m wrong. That I have no idea what I’m talking about. That I have no right to say things like that. I want you to throw me out of your home for daring to say that, do you understand? Here it goes. Based on how you always have patience, support and kind words for me and how you have very little of that for Chloe, it seems to me that you’d rather have me as a daughter than Chloe. Is that true?”

Joyce did none of the things Max wanted her to do. She rested her elbows on the table and hid her face in the palms of her hands.

Continue reading: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55536358

#chloe price #max caulfield #pricefield #life is strange #lis #life is strange fanfiction #fanfiction #david madsen #joyce price

[jujumin-translates]

★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 9 - Back to the Basics

Woman A: Thank you so much~!

Woman B: We’ll keep on supporting you!

Chikage: Please get home safely.

Young Man: You guys showed me how cool actors are all over again! Thank you so much!

Boy: That was fun~!

Citron: It was our pleasure!

Towa: Thank you so much!

Izumi: No, thank you for participating. And it was all thanks to you that we even had the wonderful idea in the first place, Towa-kun.

Towa: --Actually, I was kinda hesitant about participating at first. I didn’t want to be a complete failure in front of Masumi-kun…

Towa: But I’m glad I took the risk ‘cause I had a blast!

Towa: And now that I know what kinda view Masumi-kun and the others see when they’re up on stage…

Towa: I feel like I know even more about how theater’s done and I feel like I know more about everyone too.

Towa: It’s like a whole new world has opened up for me!

Tsuzuru: When you put it like that, it makes it feel like the whole thing was definitely worth it, don’t you think, Masumi?

Masumi: Well, it’s not like you didn’t do your best.

Towa: Oshi praise overdose…!

Izumi: Come and see our next play, okay?

Citron: We will see you then~!

Towa: Yeah! I’ll be there! Well then, I’ll be heading out now!

*Footsteps*

Rento: This event was a huge success even though it was our first time doin’ it.

Akashi: I… don’t usually get many opportunities like this… so I had fun…

Rento: It was nice ‘cause us backstage crew guys don’t usually get to interact with the audience members much.

Izumi: Thank you both for all your help today!

Rento: Just gimme a call if you’re doin’ anything like this again, yeah?

Akashi: Me too…

Izumi: Of course, absolutely!

Sakuya: We look forward to working with you again!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Izumi: …Everyone’s acting sure was lively and they all seemed like they were having fun.

Sakuya: I couldn’t help but remember the first time I stood on stage while watching them.

Tsuzuru: Same, it really is a nostalgic feeling, huh?

Citron: I could feel everyone’s excitement~!

Itaru: We were just like that when we first started out.

Chikage: Now that you think about it, we really have grown a lot.

Masumi: I was better than they were.

Tsuzuru: And for some of us, there’s parts that haven’t changed at all.

Sakuya: For me, I used to be so nervous just trying to read a single one of my lines. Half the time, all I could think about was which of my lines was next.

Tsuzuru: I know, right!? I was always panicking because I’d be too busy wondering how I was supposed to be moving that I’d completely miss when someone else said their line.

Citron: I could say my lines when I was practicing by myself, but then I would always make mistakes when we would practice together!

Masumi: You still do that.

Itaru: I’m pretty sure if past-me saw the current me, he wouldn’t be able to believe we’re the same person.

Chikage: Because you didn’t think you’d end up being so devoted to theater?

Itaru: Something along those lines. Then again, doesn’t that go for the both of us, Senpai?

Chikage: I suppose I can’t deny that.

Izumi: When he said that he felt like he had a whole new world opened up for him, Towa-kun’s eyes were really sparkling, weren’t they?

Masumi: He was pretty nervous at first, but he ended up having fun.

Sakuya: When I decided to join MANKAI Company, I was pretty excited like that too.

Sakuya: I’m so glad I took the risk and dove into this new world.

Tsuzuru: I remember hesitating before I took that first big step into this world too. But once I finally made the decision to join the troupe, I didn’t even have a chance to second-guess taking that step before I was forced to full-out sprint into it.

Masumi: I didn’t hesitate at all because it was fate for me.

Izumi: Ahaha, I guess it kind of was. This is so nostalgic.

Sakuya: This has kinda made me wanna perform RomiJuli again!

Citron: Me too! I was almost reading the lines for myself!

Itaru: I know, right?

Izumi: Why don’t we do a rerun of it?

Tsuzuru: If we’re doing that, then I wanna create an actual role for Chikage-san.

Citron: I would like to appear in even more scenes!

Izumi: That’s a good point. The current Citron-kun can play way more roles than the Citron-kun back then.

Chikage: But aside from those few things, if everything else stays the same, there won’t be anything all that new about it. Especially since we’ve already done reruns of it before.

Sakuya: Then why don’t we do it after the Fleur Cup?

Itaru: Since RomiJuli’s a pretty popular work that’s got all sorts of things like movie and ballet adaptations, it’s easy for theater newbies to get into it.

Itaru: Pretty fitting to fulfill the requirements for our back-to-the-basics quest line, don’t you think?

Izumi: But competing in the Fleur Cup with a rerun performance is way too risky of a move…

Tsuzuru: …Ah.

Izumi: ?

Tsuzuru: What about a sequel, then?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Tsumugi: Good job on doing the workshop. How was it?

Sakuya: Everyone seemed a little confused at first, but as soon as they started talking and moving around more, they all seemed to be enjoying themselves!

Tsuzuru: It was really inspiring to watch too.

Tasuku: Sounds like it gave you guys a chance to take a step back and look at theater more objectively again.

Tsumugi: It really sounds like quite the learning experience. I think Winter Troupe should try doing that too.

Homare: I think we should make sure to have adequate time to create poetry when we do that.

Tasuku: That would change the entire point.

Homare: I believe that the skills that come with studying poetry that has a particular emphasis on the rhythm of language could be easily transferable when it comes to thoroughly analyzing lines in a script.

Guy: You make a good point. Shakespeare was a poet in addition to being a playwright, after all.

Hisoka: …And we could end it with a bonfire where we roast marshmallows.

Tsuzuru: We all know that’s just your own agenda even if you try to frame it like it’s some kinda recreational thing at the end of a summer camp.

Sakuya: Sounds like a workshop that’ll show off each of your unique characteristics.

Izumi: Let’s plan another one when we get the chance.

Sakyo: Looks like everyone’s finally here now.

Izumi: Alright, let’s start the troupe-wide meeting, then.

Izumi: I’d like to talk about Spring Troupe’s next performance, which will be during the voting period of the first quarter of the Fleur Cup…

Izumi: After doing the workshop, we all talked about how we should go back to the basics, back to where we first started.

Citron: To put it simply, we want to do RomiJuli again!

Sakyo: You mean like a RomiJuli rerun?

Tsuzuru: No, not quite. I was thinking of something more along the lines of a sequel…

Tsuzuru: A version of RomiJuli that we’d only be capable of doing now that we’ve grown more-- The future of the RomiJuli we did back during our debut performance.

Tsuzuru: I think it’s something that we could do only because we’re living in the future from when we did it back then.

Sakuya: And it’d be our first attempt at doing a sequel, so I’m sure it’ll be a bit of a challenge.

Sakuya: Of course, we really wanna perform RomiJuli again, but…

Chikage: We have to be sure that our upcoming performance serves as a stepping stone to the finals of the Fleur Cup.

Itaru: Aside from that, if we don’t at least ensure we get enough votes and earn enough points, we might not even be able to make it to the next round, let alone the finals…

Itaru: And those aren’t our only concerns, so that’s why we wanted to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions.

Tenma: A sequel to your debut play, huh… never saw that one coming. But I get how you feel about wanting to do it again.

Tsumugi: You can’t help but wonder how you’ll be able to play your role now. There’s always a sort of newness to it no matter how many reruns you do.

Kazunari: And since it’s our very first performance, it’s probs the one that like, set the vibes of your troupe and the vibes of the whole company the most~.

Sakyo: It was pretty rough around the edges, but I guess you could say that it set the direction for the entirety of the Newborn MANKAI Company.

Banri: And it’s prolly the one you’ve done the most reruns of, so it’s def well known. That’s a bonus, ain’t it?

Juza: ‘N since you’ve gotta good foundation for your roles, it’ll prolly let ya approach the performance inna way ya usually wouldn’t.

Juza: ‘N above all, it’ll be a nice challenge to perform a sequel that’ll fill in the blanks ‘n connect the dots from your debut performance.

Homare: The things that have changed, the things that have remained unchanged, mundane things in your daily lives… those can all be expressed on stage.

Guy: I think this could be a good experience for you as actors and it will help you grow even more.

Tasuku: And I think that it’s a valuable opportunity to experience living out more of the life of one of your characters.

Taichi: Plus the OG RomiJuli fans would def be hella hyped!

Omi: The fact that it’s also been a fan-favorite since the beginning is one of it’s advantages too.

Azami: It’ll also be easier to imagine the settings.

Yuki: My concern is that since they’re the same characters, it’s not as completely brand new as it could be.

Kazunari: It’d probs be a good idea to keep that in mind and make some changes to the visuals.

Itaru: I’m personally a little concerned about the curse of sequels never being able to surpass the originals.

Banri: We can do more with sound effects ‘n lightin’ than we could do back then, so we’ll just have to show ‘em how much we’ve improved.

Yuki: Thinking of our past selves as our rivals is kind of getting me fired up.

Kazunari: And there’s no way we’re gonna lose to ourselves~!

Sakyo: That said, we still need to satisfy the audience members who haven’t seen the original. Unlike with the Mankai Performance, there’s a fairly big gap between the original and now.

Kumon: But I’m kinda jealous of you, Chikage-san! I wish I had my own role in Summer Troupe’s first performance!

Misumi: And I’m ki~nda interested in what the Genie from “Water me!” is doing right now!

Muku: I know, right!? Just like we’re living in the future from back then, I want to see how their futures are going too.

Azuma: If we’re doing a sequel for Spring Troupe’s first performance, then perhaps we should do the same for Summer and the other troupes too.

Tenma: Well, that would be the logical thing to do.

Juza: I kinda wanna be Lansky again…

Omi: I’m suddenly getting pretty motivated.

Sakyo: All that said, none of us are gonna get to that point if Spring Troupe’s sequel fails.

Homare: Choosing to do a “sequel” in a situation where we cannot afford to lose and have to accommodate many a new audience member is certainly a bold decision.

Izumi: That’s true.

Tsuzuru: W-Way to put more pressure on me.

Hisoka: …Every troupe’s gonna have to do their part in order to pass the baton onto the next one.

Guy: After Spring Troupe in the first quarter, Summer Troupe will follow in the second quarter, then Autumn Troupe in the third quarter, and finally Winter Troupe in the fourth quarter. We all must contribute to the rankings in order to stay in the finals.

Tsumugi: But isn’t it somewhat reassuring to think that RomiJuli, the very first performance, will be by our side as an ally for this?

Sakuya: Yeah… because it’s the “beginning” of our Spring Troupe.

Citron: It was both Spring Troupe’s and the Newborn MANKAI Company’s first adventure!

Masumi: If we can’t pull off our performance, then there’s no way the other troupes will even get a chance.

Itaru: Basically.

Chikage: I think it’s well worth the gamble.

Tsuzuru: No choice but to just go ahead and do it…

Izumi: Alright, that settles it. Let’s fight for the New Fleur Award using sequels to each troupe’s debut performance as our weapon!

Izumi: (Finally, we’re taking our first step toward the Newborn Fleur Award.)

Izumi: (Now all we have to do is stay as united as we are now as we keep our eye on the performance. Please let us get through this without any trouble…)

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3! #a3! translation #sakuya sakuma #masumi usui #tsuzuru minagi #itaru chigasaki #citron #chikage utsuki #towa ichinoe

[enchanting-grom-fright]

did u know

#i don’t know when i but i’m taller it must be something in the water #i grew up here til it all went up in flames except the notches in the door frame #my recurring dream i’m at the movies i don’t remember what i’m seeing the screen turns into a tidal wave #when the speed kicks in i go to the store for nothing #the house where u lived with snow white i wonder if she ever though the storybook tiles on the roof were too much #the drugstores r open all night the only real reason i moved to the east side #and here everyone knows ur the way to my heart hear so many stories of u at the bar #either i’m careless or i wanna get caught #i can’t open and forget how to talk bcs even if i could wouldn’t know where to start wouldn’t know where to stop #close my eyes fantisize three clicks and i’m home #when i get back i’ll lay around then i’ll get up and lay back down #i know i know i know #like a wave that crashed and melted on the shore not even the burnouts r out here anymore #either way we’re not alone i’ll find a new place to be from a haunted house with a picket fence to float around and ghost my #friends no i’m not afraid to disappear the billboard said the end is here i turned around there was nothing there yea ig the end is here #and now my feet can’t touch the bottom of u #of somebody who loves u more #so i will wait for the next time u want me like a dog with a bird at ur door #and there’s something i’m supposed to say but i can’t remember what it is #and if and if i could give u the moon i would give u the moon #u r sick and ur married and u might be dying #i would do anything for u i would do anything i will do anything #laying down on the lawn i’m tired of trying to get in the house i’m thinking out loud #i’ve been playing dead my whole life #i hate ur mom i hate it when she opens her mouth it’s amazing to me how much u can say when u don’t know what ur talking abt #i feel something when i see u #bcs i don’t know what i want until a fuck it up #i’ll climb through the window again but rn it feels good not to stand #day off in kyoto got bored at the temple looked around at the 711 the band took the speed train to the arcade i wanted to go but i didnt #called me from a pay phone they still got pay phones it cost a dollar a minute

[greta--gill]

people on the bird app saying that sonnett only came in to kill time and that it was a waste… please understand she literally plays the 6 for club LMAO like what?? also does anyone else remember the never-say-die 2021 washington spirit or??

#maybe instead of questioning skills and leadership of players we should remember that they’re supposed to be getting coach from their… yknow #coach #and people saying that you can’t have someone just for their presence??? kelley o’hara y’all #i’m just in disbelief #the sonnett dislike makes me so mad lmao #do better yall she is not the problem why are you logging on to say something so silly #uswnt #wwc23 #emily sonnett #kelley o’hara #i firmly believe the leadership for the ws2021 squad is what really led to that win - not necessarily that they didn’t have the skill witho #t kelley and sonnett but to be galvanized by veterans?? #that’s what they need

[pepprs]

crying again lol ok

#purrs #and posting online abt it so i get immediate validation / support instead of asking for help from anyone im close to i know. but god fucking #damn it to hell. ok im going to be candid about this because it hurts so fucking bad. five years ago i met someone so important to me. and I #miss her so so so so much. and every space here i have a memory with her in. and she left in July and she’s gone. and im sobbing my eyes out #FOR WHY because it was over 6 months ago and im happier and she’s happier and we’re all happier. but i think im getting some aftershocks #being here for the first time without her exactly 5 years to the week we met: when she was so important to me. she was the whole reason i #even saw myself as something. and she’s fucking gone. she left. but she’s not dead like LMAO idk why im crying so hard when i could just #text her any time and tell her that i miss her. but idk. it’s just everything is stirring memories and they’re painful to think about now or #at least today because she’s gone and it all changed. i was just saying that i feel like im not having any emotions and tonight the grief ju #just rammed into me like a train and my fucking counselor sucks ass and won’t even help me work through it and everyone is busy and tired an #and im a staff coach so im not supposed to be having a fuckjng mental breakdown over **** pacing around in my bathroom at 1:23am but ive be #been thinking about her so much and remembering all the formative interactions i had with her here and missing her so much i want to explode #and die and p*ke and whatever. so stupid to cry about it but i fucking miss her. and i hate that she’s not here. and i’m trying so hard to b #be her but i have to be me but i can’t not have what she brought here and im just crashi ng and burning and can’t be honest and im having a #breakdown and crying so hard and i don’t know what to do. i ithink i’ll be fine after some sleep and reflection but my heart is like seizing #on itself right now and nothing takes my mind off it and i just keep crying LMFAOOOOOO. i hate it here #delete later #like how can you look at me like that and then fuck off to ****** 4.5 years later. you know? im about to punch a hole into the hallway #and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy. #retreat tag

[bo0zey]

being the oldest daughter raised by a narcissistic emotionally abusive father is just…👩‍🍳👌💋

#i don’t know why i always end up crying when i know exactly what to expect from him #the constant belittling then turning around and crying victim on how i ‘hurt’ him bc he can’t accept the fact that he did something wrong #i know i shouldn’t expect anything from him but it’s like this stupid fucking useless part of me during these moments is just #so heartbroken and frustrated because it’s not fair the child in me just wants to have a dad that cares and sees her as a human #nobody fuckjng cares if they hurt me and i don’t care if they hurt me either that’s why i hurt me too #he’s supposed to be my dad he’s my only parent left and he never should’ve been a parent to begin #i can’t believe how easily he turns things on me saying it’s my fault i never come talk to him and it’s like how the fuck #you were barely basically nonexistent the first 5 years of my life then barely there from then on out #how could i ever come to you how could i trust you just because i’m your daughter by blood doesn’t mean you’re not a stranger to me #you’re supposed to be the adult you’re my father you’re supposed to come to me and guide me why are you such a helpless fucking child #i do everything on my own i have nothing to say to you just like you have nothing to say to me #small talk only does so much i don’t want to talk to him i don’t care about our relationship #i’m just literally flabbergasted at the audacity he has to gaslight and manipulate me and ply victim when i’m the one he keeps hurting #it just reinforces the idea that my feelings are invalid my feelings have been invalid to him for the past 23years #i wish i was emotionless and unfeeling i wish he didn’t have the power to affect my emotions so strongly #i’m such a little kid i wish my mom was here i wish someone wanted to protect me and talk to me and at least try to understand me #i can’t wait to be dead i just want this to be over i’m just wasting time taking up someone else’s space #i think the only time i’ll be genuinely happy is when i’m dead #i don’t remember the last time i was actually happy unless i’m distracting myself #i’m constantly maladaptive daydreaming and when i’m not i’m at work trying to be a functioning an adult #but as soon as i’m home i’m back in my dream world where i don’t have to think about me at all #when gerard said When i grow up i want to be nothing at All that man read my my mind #ramblings #vent

[moonjade]

How the fuck do I act in an interview lmfao 🥴

#text #personal #i have to start applying to jobs soon 😭 #and my mom suggested a hostess job since our acquaintance works there but i would rather Die than work a public-facing job again #like you don’t understand. I DO NOT WANT TO WORK. i have never had a dream job except for being an author but i don’t have the energy #or creativity for that anymore #but yeah i have to find a ~real job~ since i’ve graduated college and i have ‘skills’ (not actually though) #but anyways if i even make it to an interview round after applying how the actual fuck do i act #I’ve never had a ‘real’ interview bc I’ve only ever worked in fast food #am i supposed to kiss their ass? am i supposed to be honest? how honest? how much do i lie? do i even lie? #how do i explain the 8 month ‘gap’ in my resume lmfao. bc I can’t just say that I was moving for eight fucking months #ugh I really want to die like I would rather die than have to work 40-50 hours per week every week #like that sounds like absolute torture and i never lasted more than 2 months at my old jobs bc it got too overwhelming and hard to handle #i think there might be genuinely something wrong/off with me but idk what LMAO #i don’t think I can get disqualified from working or whatever bc I can technically work but I’ll burn through all of my energy #and literally be extremely depressed and miserable and have no time to do anything other than sleep and eat #i don’t even remember what I wrote at this point and I don’t care #the main point is that I hate working more than anything. i hate burning through all of my energy and having none left #I’m tired as fuck just writing this shit out. how the fuck am i supposed to get a real job and work it every day for the rest of my life #like there is NOTHING I enjoy laboring for. i wish I got paid to stream video games or post videos for a living but I’m not funny enough #or creative enough for that to work. plus idk how to stream or edit. and I know I’d get cancelled lmfao since my social skills are so poor #and I’d say something wrong. not even anything remotely bad but just word something wrong or use the ‘wrong’ word #ugh anyways. idk if I should tell my doctor all of this or if she’d even care (probably not)

[arthur-r]

actually so relieved to run into this weird vent art from like a week before my partner broke up with me and remember how i was actually profoundly unhappy when we were together. like i literally would have broken up with him within the next couple weeks probably. all it would have changed if he hadn’t broke up with me would be that a valentine’s day together would be a lasting painful memory. whereas our relationship is nearly managing to comfortably fade into background noise.

#this art is weird which is why i never posted it shdhdf but i figure it goes along with self-actualization/the silly stupid angel song #i remember the same time i drew this i had drawn a monster based off my now-ex (it’s in a notebook somewhere) #and i just kept drawing and giving it more evil attributes and thinking why am i doing this it’s supposed to be my partner #but like. my subconscious fucking knew. he was basically a demon feeding on my life force #anyway i’m a fan of the bloody keyhole in my chest cause that’s so real #i love when i write or draw something and then like. months later i finally get to the realization that i subconsciously clearly highlighte #like yeah he’s demanding symmetry from me (golden ratio) and fucking clawing to get to my secrets (keyhole) and expecting me to be this #idealized and appealing figure but also refusing to give me any actual affection in response like i’m just a fucking statue to stare at #and then idk i’m bleeding golden blood because WHY NOT shdhdf maybe there’s symbolism i figure out later but i think that part’s just rad #oh and of course a halo like from THAT ONE GUY WHAT IS HIS NAME paintings #i want to say like giorgio but that’s not right. WHO IS THE GUY WHO PAINTS THE GOLD HALOS #GIOTTO i looked it up it’s my best friend giotto!!!! i can’t believe i turned my back on him…. forgot his name…. anyway i love his halos #and i was halfheartedly emulating that while i was drawing shdhdf. so anyway that’s the story of this whole thing #but no it’s so good to notice that actually i was discontented and needed to break out of the pattern. cause like i don’t think i fully #understood that i’m ALLOWED to end something i’m not happy with. so even though i deserved to i wouldn’t have done it. so it’s a lesson now #i’m aware that it’s something i’m able to do and something that i should have done. and i’ll do it earlier next time. ANYWAY sorry for this #ex talk #vent cw #i’m so normal i promise. i’m actually getting really normal about it genuinely though. basically fine kinda sorta almost. shdhdhdf #anyway i hope everybody is doing well. sorry for just throwing stuff around every once in a while and being otherwise absent #lmk if you need anything anytime!!!! love and light /gen #me. my post. mine. #delete later #ask to tag

[arabriddler]

important ! In recent years especially this year I’ve noticed a lot that the internet language picked up so many Islamic phrases and, from a muslim perspective, it makes the internet a little more welcoming. the thing is, a lot of the time with Islamic phrases you have to be careful about when and where to say them they hold their own weight and demand their own respect so here is a list explaining each phrase and some notes about it.

In sha allah

It means “ If God wills “. It’s mostly a response that can mean yes or no. If someone asks you to do something you can say in sha allah as in “ I heard you and I’ll try to do itc but I can’t claim that It will happen “ . Muslims say it because we’re unaware of what future holds it’s actually blasphemous to claim to know the future, so saying so means “ If it’s the will of god it will happen if not it won’t “ and you’d also say it about future events.

Ma sha allah

It means “ this is what god intended “ and it’s a compliment. Saying so is like saying WOW! But it’s also kind of a prayer of protection? If I see someone with pretty hair I should say “ Ma sha allah your hair is very pretty “ the ma sha allah protects the person from the evil eye. By saying that I’m also saying I’m not jealous I’m genuinely enamored and I don’t wish any harm to go to it.

Astagfurullah

it means “ to god I repent “ or “ from god I seek forgiveness” it’s usually used when you make a mistake but people also use it when they see something bad or when they want to avoid saying something bad. Like once my card refused to work and I’d say that so I won’t say any curse words and to calm down my anger

wallah/wallahi

okay this one is important. This one shouldn’t be used so lightly. It means “ by god’s name “ and it’s basically swearing in Allah’s name. You are only supposed to say it if you genuinely mean what you’re saying. It’s such a heavy word that I only say it very rarely and if you say it and don’t follow up on what you said you have to fast for three days as repentance.

ya allah

ya is an addressing word? Like talking to someone or calling them? Like saying O’ ( someone ) so ya allah means O’ god

Al hamdullilah // hamdullilah

it means ‘ praise/thanks to god ‘ said when something good happens or when you feel relieved about something— for example, my shirt is stained badly and I’m worried it won’t clean well. I clean it and the stain is gone so I say “ al hamdullilah “ kind of like phew!. Sometimes people say it as an answer when they’re asked how they are it can either mean things are good or bad but we preserve .

One more note is that with the name of Allah you should also be careful it’s not supposed to be written on papers that’ll get stepped on or lightly used in art because it also has its own weight it’s regarded heavily. Like even in home decorations it should be elevated and not overshadowed. If I have to throw away a paper I have to sit down and color over the name of Allah or burn the papers so it won’t get thrown in trash.

another note is that those phrases aren’t Muslim exclusive. Some Arab non-Muslims use them as well. This is only my explanation from a Muslim perspective.

Another another note is this is what I can remember at the moment but if you have additions or enquiries let me know

#Islam #Language #important

[ickadori]

++ 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘

[summary] wrio’s spouse winds up in prison. special treatment ensues.

[cws] gender neutral reader. fluff.

“What you did was incredibly stupid.”

“I’d like to think it was very brave, actually.” You quip back, lips pursed as you turn up your chin. “You should be proud of me, really.”

“I should be proud that you got yourself thrown in prison?” You don’t have to look up to know that Wriothesley is sporting an incredulous expression. “Did they knock your head around a bit before bringing you down here?”

“You’re acting like I murdered someone.” You finally meet his gaze, and you resist the urge to sink down into your seat at the clear disapproval in his eyes. “All I did was—”

“Break into the Opera Epiclese and destroy government property.”

“That’s such a trumped-up charge!” You huff and roughly cross your arms over your chest, eyes narrowing as you think back on the charges that had been slapped down onto you by that damned archon. “You trip in the dark and accidentally fall into the oratrice and all of a sudden you’re a criminal. Hmph!”

“Yeah, exactly. It also doesn’t help that you broke in—”

“—I left my bracelet in there after the trial! Was I just supposed to leave it behind and potentially lose it forever? The condition of the lost and found in that place is downright terrible—the guards pocket all the good stuff.”

“You could have bought another one.”

“Not like this one.” You look down to the gray bracelet encircling your wrist, and a warmth spreads in your chest as you gently twist it around, finger rubbing over the messily written engraving on the inside of it. “This was a gift.”

“Hardly.” He sighs, and your eyes flick up to watch as he runs his hands through his already messy hair. “It’s just scrap metal I bent up and welded because I couldn’t buy you proper jewelry back when I was a prisoner.” It’s his turn to look at the bracelet.

“You were so creative back then.” You smile a bit wider. “I remember you used to have something new made every time I came to visit you. What was that one thing you made? The one that we painted together?”

“The ballerina music box.” He groaned, looking a bit embarrassed, and you snapped your fingers.

“The ballerina music box!” The ballerina was a bit oddly shaped, and the box had sharp corners on one side and rounded on the other, and the song the box played was distorted and sounded more creepy than relaxing due to some disfigured cogs, but you loved it nonetheless, and had even sobbed in thanks when he had first presented the gift to you. “I love that little box.”

“It looks like a child made it.”

“A child in the throes of eleazar, yes,” you nod, and his mouth opens a bit in surprise before he huffs out a laugh. “But I still love it… because you made it.” You give him a sweet smile, and you can see him soften up before your very own eyes; broad shoulders losing that rigidness, lids lowering, crease between his dark, thick brows disappearing.

“You’re tryin’ to butter me up.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “Is it working?”

“Not at all, jailbird.” He gives you a smile of his own, and despite the clear sarcasm in it, you can’t help the little flutter your heart does at the sight. “No special treatment for you.” So he says, yet he had placed a cup of tea down for you the moment you were brought to his office, and had even tried to inconspicuously nudge the basket of cookies in your direction, pretending not to notice when you reached for one. “Spouse or not.”

“What a mean man.” You slouch down in your seat. “I treasure the gifts that my lovely, amazing, strong, handsome, and so so so incredibly smart husband gives me and what do I get in return? A criminal record and unfair treatment! I’m suing the entire nation the moment I’m free!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves his hand in the air as if fanning away the conversation, and now it’s your turn to huff. “For the few days that you’re here, you’ll be working directly with me in exchange for coupons.” He takes a slow sip of his tea, adams apple bobbing as he swallows, before gently setting the cup back down onto its small plate. “I’ll make your first job real easy to get you in the swing of things.”

“How kind of you.”

He just barely contains an amused smile. “Very. Now…” He shifts in his seat. “Give me a kiss.”

“I’m married, Your Grace.”

“I’m sure your husband won’t mind. Kiss. Now.” He taps a finger against his lips, and after a moment you stand up and round his desk, hands finding his shoulders as you bend at the waist so your noses brush.

“My husband is a very good fighter, by the way. When he finds out you twisted his spouses’s arm like this, he’ll pummel you.”

“I can handle him.” A hand snags you by the waist, forcing you down into his lap, and you only have time to let out a quiet yelp before Wriothesley’s lips are on yours. The kiss is slow, sensual, and it brings a warmth to your cheeks and covers you with a bashful cloak when he pulls back to let his eyes roam over your face. “I’ve gotta say… your husband is a real lucky guy to snatch up someone as cute as you.”

“Hmph. Seems like you’re trying to butter me up now.”

“Is it working?” He presses his face into your neck, his lips pulling into a smile against your skin, and you have to fight back one of your own.

“Not at all, jailbird.”

#wriothesley x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff