#i’m constantly maladaptive daydreaming and when i’m not i’m at work trying to be a functioning an adult

[bo0zey]

being the oldest daughter raised by a narcissistic emotionally abusive father is just…👩‍🍳👌💋

#i don’t know why i always end up crying when i know exactly what to expect from him #the constant belittling then turning around and crying victim on how i ‘hurt’ him bc he can’t accept the fact that he did something wrong #i know i shouldn’t expect anything from him but it’s like this stupid fucking useless part of me during these moments is just #so heartbroken and frustrated because it’s not fair the child in me just wants to have a dad that cares and sees her as a human #nobody fuckjng cares if they hurt me and i don’t care if they hurt me either that’s why i hurt me too #he’s supposed to be my dad he’s my only parent left and he never should’ve been a parent to begin #i can’t believe how easily he turns things on me saying it’s my fault i never come talk to him and it’s like how the fuck #you were barely basically nonexistent the first 5 years of my life then barely there from then on out #how could i ever come to you how could i trust you just because i’m your daughter by blood doesn’t mean you’re not a stranger to me #you’re supposed to be the adult you’re my father you’re supposed to come to me and guide me why are you such a helpless fucking child #i do everything on my own i have nothing to say to you just like you have nothing to say to me #small talk only does so much i don’t want to talk to him i don’t care about our relationship #i’m just literally flabbergasted at the audacity he has to gaslight and manipulate me and ply victim when i’m the one he keeps hurting #it just reinforces the idea that my feelings are invalid my feelings have been invalid to him for the past 23years #i wish i was emotionless and unfeeling i wish he didn’t have the power to affect my emotions so strongly #i’m such a little kid i wish my mom was here i wish someone wanted to protect me and talk to me and at least try to understand me #i can’t wait to be dead i just want this to be over i’m just wasting time taking up someone else’s space #i think the only time i’ll be genuinely happy is when i’m dead #i don’t remember the last time i was actually happy unless i’m distracting myself #i’m constantly maladaptive daydreaming and when i’m not i’m at work trying to be a functioning an adult #but as soon as i’m home i’m back in my dream world where i don’t have to think about me at all #when gerard said When i grow up i want to be nothing at All that man read my my mind #ramblings #vent

[cinnamon-phrog]

Dhmis headcanons let's goooo

^^^ banner is a disclaimer not a DNI! I just wanna be clear I case I get misinterpreted!

Yellow

Yellow has more allergies than anyone else ever and has incredibly irritable skin prone to rashes and acne no matter what skin products he uses or how frequently he washes.

Can wiggle his ears Fozzie Bear style idk I just find that visual cute <3

He has stretchy limbs like his dad but only slightly, he can’t stretch himself nearly as far as Roy can

Yellows’ nose can make a cartoony honk noise, like a clown <3

Doesn’t just love spaghetti but ALL pasta dishes. Literally anything pasta or potato based is his kinda thing.

He’s the one who painted all the paintings in the house, even the one with him and Roy, since if his father can’t be there with or for him then at least he can in a painting.

Can’t paint horses. Cannot. But he knows Red loves them so he attempted to paint one for him. He hates it and cringes at it but Red insists it’s perfect and keeps in up on the kitchen wall.

Gets hot easily due to his batteries working overtime to keep him alive and hates wearing thick fabric clothes like jumpers and hoodies because of his irregular heat.

He can grasp things easier if left to his own devices. If something is explained to him via word of mouth he’s not going to comprehend it and would much rather figure it out himself and experiment. [Again I swear I’m not projecting….]

Has maladaptive daydreaming disorder.

Forgets things easily but remembers give Duck glasses of water at least twice a day to prevent him from going Back in The Hole again.]

Likes Duck because he is green and although he can’t remember much about himself, green is comforting to him.

Falls somewhere on the masochist spectrum [he likes being bitten. Cmonnnnn if the other two are freaks so is he let me have this one]

Suffers fatigue and can’t walk far without needing to sit down at least five times.

Has tried everything to ease this and his chronic thinking induced headaches, including various pills, tablets and herbal teas.

Very light sleeper, he wakes up constantly throughout the night, and will sometimes give up sleeping altogether.

Duck

Surprisingly really talented at sewing.

Loves fashion, and creates all his own outfits.

Also sewed the tablecloth in the kitchen.

Actually a really good cook but can’t be bothered to most of the time.

Has dioramas of war enactments and model planes that he plays around with secretly.

He has slight Aphantasia, meaning he struggles to visualise imagery. I have this headcanon because in Jobs, when he is told he can do a million things, he only thinks of about three. He can’t imagine what a million would look like. Again it’s just a headcanon and not to be taken seriously.

Hates the cold. In the winter he will stay in and turn all the radiators as high as possible to simulate migrating to somewhere hot. The heating bill is through the roof now.

Idolizes the military because he lived near a shelter as a child and admired them when his life wasn’t the best. He doesn’t remember that of course but he still found comfort in it and hasn’t really stopped to question why.

Has a weird relationship with food. The Healthy episode, plus him listing his favourite foods [that are all high in sugar and carbs] are given an explanation by being diagnosed with diabetes in electricity. Plus Dehydration can be dangerous for people with diabetes. High blood sugar can make you more at risk of dehydration, which is why Duck died by forgetting to drink water.

Has a rubber duck to take a bath with because ducks usually bathe together and get lonely easily.

Takes the longest getting ready for any kind of event. Like ridiculous levels of vanity just trying to pick a tie that compliments him.

Very trusting when someone is nice to him, you give him one compliment and he’s your best friend ever forever now.

Needs to wear glasses but refuses because he thinks he looks too geeky.

Used to be like Warren when it comes to friendships but he’s slowly teaching himself to be kinder, even just a little bit.

Frequently scams people for money by pretending to be a single hot milf online. Catfishing king securing that bag fr fr. Mostly it’s just Roy that falls for the scams.

PANSEXUAL. IN MY HEART OF HEARTS.

Moults his feathers quite often due to stress and is prone to over-preening himself.

Drinks 5+ cups of tea per day. Bri’ish check.

Red

His childhood horse girl phase never truly died down, all horse related things in the house belong to him besides the painting in the kitchen, which came about from him begging Yellow to paint a horse for him.

He actually wasn’t lying in the It’s Nice That interview and does actually enjoy extreme sports, or rather… watching them on the telly. So half a lie.

Has executive dysfunction and flat affect.

Struggles to find his own individuality around other people and would much rather mimic their behaviour. That’s why he’s kind to Yellow when they’re alone but mean to him when Red is in a dynamic with Duck.

He pretends not to care about peoples’ opinions but he’s awfully self-conscience about himself and the way he behaves.

Needs about a whole bag worth of coffee in order to feel even a little awake.

Prone to napping throughout the day.

VERY heavy sleeper. Could sleep through just about anything.

Similar to Yellow, Red hates feeling hot and because he’s covered in thick, fleecy hair he simply chooses not to wear clothes. However he finds it weird when other people do it because that’s the only individuality he feels is solely for himself.

His hair is prone to frizzing and needs a gazillion different hair products and brush types to take care of it.

Goes between not taking care of himself and practically rotting himself or pampering and spoiling himself rotten. No in between.

Has posture and back problems.

Can purr like a kibby <333

All of Red’s species is agender and intersex.

Spoils Skrunty the cat like she’s his own little princess because she IS. She’s his little muffin pie. His skrunkly Skrunty woo. His BABY.

Likes spicy food but is all about trying new impossible diets which he’ll regret and forget in about a week.

Really likes spicy foods and although he’s the one who set the no sharing food thing in motion he will beg for a taste of any food Duck makes [which is usually curry dishes]

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #yellow guy #red guy #duck #🎨🌻 #👄🍝 #🦆📋 #🚦🏠

[nerves-nebula]

And I can’t help but think that even the people I’m closest to wouldn’t really suffer, not forever at least. How long could they really hold onto me for anyway? A few years? That’s not even as long as my childhood. They’ll be fine. (I know they won’t don’t @ me)

(I’m sorry if this comes out weird, I’m not trying to be a dick…) Does that really matter? Does it really matter how long they hold onto you when you’re dead? Does it really matter how they’ll grieve you?

They’re holding onto you now. While you’re alive and present. They care about you now. So why think about those things? Why should it matter if they cry over you for a day or a decade?

I’m not gonna try to get you to not be suicidal, because that would be hypocrisy of the worst kind and is just not how it works, but maybe just do your best to distract from it. Enjoy that you’re here today, and let yourself be selfish without guilt. Be comfortable and happy for a moment, and fuck the consequences.

(Whoever said avoidance isn’t healthy is a liar and a fraud-)

It honestly doesn’t super matter how long they hold on. it’s just something my brain says when I’m trying to convince myself that committing suicide would actually be OK and not a huge deal. Never works tho.

Sorry but “why think about those things” reads basically the same to me as “Just Stop Being Sad” except it’s less insulting. Meaning that I can’t not think about it. That’s how the brain is these days, and every day basically. I’m kind of constantly analyzing myself and my relationships with people and this is one of the side effects of Being Like That.

Annnnnd anyway I spend most of my time being avoidant already. The only way to avoid it even more is to go back to maladaptive daydreaming, which I would honestly love to do except unfortunately I have a lot more responsibilities these days.

Speaking of which I’ve really fucked up my sleep schedule so. Bye!

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #<- we’ll kind of. idk #suicide tw

[silvermoon424]

hi katy :)) i’m sure you’ve answered this before, and if you have, you can totally just ignore this ask, but recently i’ve been wondering if i have adhd. i’m a 20 year old woman, and i’ve been diagnosed with anxiety for basically my whole adolescence. in the past few weeks though i’ve learned a lot more about adhd/neurodivergence and i feel like it’s much more accurate to my experience. my only real exposure to adhd is my little brother, who has been diagnosed since he was 12 and behaves VERY differently than i do. if you could possibly detail your experience with adhd as a woman that would really help me out a lot in deciding if i want to pursue a new diagnosis. thanks in advance!!

Hi there!

ADHD/autism/neurodiversity in general can be experienced a lot of different ways by people; it's a very broad spectrum, but there are definitely traits that pop up again and again for a lot of people. Here are some traits I have personally identified as being influenced/driven by my ADHD (or autism, sometimes it's hard to distinguish the two)

Very poor impulse control, especially with money and food

Having poor memory in some areas but excellent memory in others (usually due to how strongly the topic interests me)

Having trouble remembering things (as in appointments, important dates, etc)

Having a very hard time focusing or maintaining focus

Easily distracted

Fidgets often (my fidgets are picking through my split ends and jiggling my ankle)

Needing to take frequent breaks when working/doing chores/etc due to burnout

Needing CONSTANT stimulation; for example, much of my free time is spent listening to Youtube video essays while I color manga, typeset, scan things, etc. Sometimes I do just watch things (especially late at night when I'm tired), but I don't think I could ever do a menial task without having some other stimulation for my brain

Talking to myself

Info-dumping

Being amazing at multi-tasking (but struggling with single-tasking because of the whole "need more stimulation" thing)

Hyper-fixating on things to the point of not realizing I'm thirsty, have a crick in neck, etc

I daydream frequently and have an entire daydream universe (called a paracosm) full of my own OCs and storylines. I'm what's called an immersive daydreamer. Immersive daydreaming/maladaptive daydreaming is its own thing, but from what I've heard people who do it are often also neurodivergent. If you daydream a lot about a fictional universe(s) of your own creation, I would highly recommend looking into this topic.

My brain literally never shuts the fuck up. Ever. I'm constantly thinking about SOMETHING. Even when I'm trying to fall asleep I'm playing with my OCs and paracosm, lol (one of my favorite parts of the day tbh). Because of this I've suffered from insomnia for much of my life. I've been on a sedative that also functions as an antidepressant for many years and it's helped a lot.

I literally just learned that this has a name: Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). People with ADHD are often highly sensitive to criticism and rejection (real or imagined). For my entire life I have been extremely sensitive to being criticized, and all this time it has been a side-effect of my ADHD!

When given a task, I need to be told exactly what to do and how to do it or else it's not getting done. In general I have a hard time "thinking outside the box" and can be pretty oblivious.

Executive dysfunction is a bitch. This also overlaps with depression and autism, but basically I have a literal mountain of projects and hobbies I want do and another literal mountain of shows/anime/movies I want to watch but I can't get past the mental hurdle of actually engaging with them. It's very hard to explain, but it's like even though I want to do them I either don't have the energy, get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task, start doing it and then lose focus/motivation partway through, etc.

That's all I could think of off the top of my head but I'm sure there's more. I feel like every week I discover there's a new way ADHD is impacting my life. Please let me know if you have any other questions!

#adhd #actually adhd #adhd symptoms

[queenimmadolla]

This isnt a question about the book but i was wondering, how do you get yourself into a writing flow?

I started my blog in a bad headspace and continuously visit it in that headspace that i dont know how to get out of

My writing is coming out seriously unreadable and i know im a good writer but i can barely verbalize myself and its just coming out as spewage on paper

I understand my problem but i was just curious if you have general tips on what helps you to get into that natural flow xx

I know what you mean. I started this blog when I was in a really bad space mentally, physically, and emotionally, and all I wanted to do was escape into Hawkins (ironic since most people write about their characters wanting to leave it) so I’d write A LOT. Like I was popping these fics out. It was the only time I didn’t have to be hella high—most of the time—to calm my raging anxiety and thoughts (though I was plenty high during this period of my life, but I didn’t have to be high to write about Eddie, like I did to function as a human being).

Now, with the environment here and things as they are, I kinda resorted to getting high again to find enjoyment in posting and being here, and I also get high to write. BUT. I’m trying to break that. And it’s kind of working so I’ll share:

I love ST4 but I do not have the time to constantly rewatch it. So I look up a compilation of Eddie’s scenes on YouTube, and it works every time. Seeing him, hearing him drags me right back in when I’m sure I’ve lost motivation/muse/what you will. And playlists, create a little soundtrack for your story, imagine it like a movie! What’s playing in the background of this scene? Does the entire fic carry the vibe of a song I’ll gladly listen to on loop until the end for? And I’m a maladaptive dreamer, babe. I fantasize and daydream the whole time I’m writing, really helps me get everything down when I feel like i’m watching it play out in front of me.

And don’t beat yourself up about how it’s reading, if it doesn’t read like what you usually write. Sometimes you just have to get what you have out of your head out on a doc. And you might not like how it reads, but plenty of others will. (I say this like I don’t have over 50+ things I’ve written and haven’t posted bc I didn’t like them lol) That’s not to say that you can’t revisit the work later when you feel like you can make some improvements to it! (Hence why I answer requests like 7 months later, sorry guys!!!)

And maybe the spewing is your style! There’s nothing wrong with that, there’s so many different styles of writing and a lot of my friends and people I admire come up with the most AMAZING SHAKESPEAREAN works, while I kind of just write how I talk and think and you can kind of make out the movie period that had the most effect on me from it, lol. And there’s nothing wrong with that or either because both are good! There’s SO MANY MORE than just those two types, btw. So many. And that’s the best thing about writing and sharing what you write, embracing this differences and perspectives is so refreshing and joyous. My style changes quite a bit, though. It used to upset me but I stopped fighting it and just started rolling with it. And people seem to like it. Me included. Hope this helps a little, and drop me a link when you post!!!!

If anyone else has some advice, please add to our discussion!

#$ replies #agony aunt viv lol

[anakinskywalkerog]

HEY 🥸 I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind talking about when you started your Tumblr and how you got into writing fanfic? I’ve been discouraged because I am posting my imagines and it doesn’t get a lot of engagement. It also takes me a long time to write and you seem to be able to write more so good on you, I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving some tips for how to get people to read your work? Obviously your writing is exquisite so maybe tips on how to be a good writer? Or if you could talk about your journey with Tumblr that would be helpful, THANK YOU

hey glad to hear you’re writing and sure i can ramble about my Tumblr experience 🤡🫠 sorry this is long

i first joined Tumblr in like 2011? 2012? and i was a sad little teen posting very shitty poetry and photography. as far as i know that blog still exists (😳) but it hasn’t been updated in like ten years and i don’t have the password to it anymore 😂

the second Tumblr i had was in 2015 or 2016, and it was deep into my disordered eating phase. the “fitblr” trend, if anyone was online and remembers that. posting ridiculous pictures of my “progress” and my “meals”. we don’t need to talk about her. thankfully that brain is dead to us, and that blog has been fully deleted

that brings us to this blog: in i think March? of this year (2022), i, now a fully fledged adult person, made a tumblr page because i was DEEP into a renewed obsession spiral surrounding Hayden Christensen and his return to the Kenobi show. i’ve talked a little about this before, so i’ll keep it short, but basically: i have OCD, which is characterized by obsessions and compulsions. the last time i was obsessed with Hayden Christensen was somewhere around age 11? and having it return and in such a huge way was really weird for me and difficult to deal with. obviously this all coincided with some difficult life stuff i had going on, but the obsession was very uncomfortable—i was searching the internet constantly for any new Hayden content, i was watching old interviews over and over again, and it wasn’t enough to satisfy that compulsive impulse, so i made a Tumblr in order to find and interact with other Hayden fans. and it worked! and posting about Hayden and the OWK press tour became the compulsion that allowed the obsession to express itself comfortably…it’s hard to explain.

part of my compulsive cycle at that point was obviously watching the star wars movies over and over again, and (i don’t think i’ve yet told this part of the story) one night my wifi fully went out and i didn’t have access to the movies/my compulsion. this was anxiety producing for me, so the way i chose to try to cope with it was writing a few thousand words in Anakin’s perspective. those words never made it to the internet, but that’s the moment i realized writing fanfiction made me feel good/calmed me down.

and the rest is history 😂 jk, but idk, i just started maladaptive daydreaming (which i always do) specifically in the star wars universe, and then i started writing those imaginings down. it’s actually difficult, because part of me thinks that doing this whole Tumblr and fanfic thing has kept the obsession active for longer…but, the obsession is not clinical anymore, and i do think fanfic has added more joy/positive things to my life than negative things.

as for being a good writer—as i said, i’m an adult with a college degree and i’ve read a lot. if you are younger and haven’t had as much education, you shouldn’t compare yourself to other writers. i do consider myself a writer and i have been working on other writing projects for years—i was writing other stuff before i got into fanfiction, which i consider a low stakes place for me to play and not worry about the end product. just practice!! imagine stuff in your head and write it down. and make sure to read a lot, because reading gives you a lot in terms of grammar and how to put your ideas into language. how to get people to read your fanfiction? truly i have no idea. give the people romance? haha that seems to work. just keep posting and eventually people will find your stuff!! and feel free to come off anon and i’ll boost your work 😉

that was so long bc i can RAMBLE and i guess i like talking about myself haha! if you read this far, you get a prize

#star wars #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #ocd #fanfiction #star wars prequels #anakin #anakin x reader #sw fanfic #anakin fanfic #fanfic #writeblr #ao3 writer #sw writing #star wars writing #obi wan kenobi #ocdawareness #answered asks

[eldritchtouched]

Caved and got Disney Plus to watch Moon Knight.

Not gonna lie, at least part of it is because I've heard it's a fairly accurate depiction of a dissociative disorder (barring obvious license due to trying to convey something internal in a visual medium and the plot involving magical shit and superheroes).

I've been starting to think my 'spaciness,' among other things, is due to dissociation of some kind. 

Like, my memory is way too spotty, especially when I try to remember most of my childhood, I'm constantly having blanks where I just zoned out, maladaptive daydreaming throughout middle and high school, losing track of the passage of time (like, where, I won't be in contact with people for weeks or months and I don't register it's been that long, or the months and years go by and it's like I can't register that long's been passing, especially if I stay in one place too long), straight up forgetting friends or forgetting basic details about them like their names, people at work in different departments acting like we know each other when I don't recall ever introducing myself or even interacting at length, emotionally feeling blank inside as a default...

#personal shit #dissociation #and I have Trauma bc my family of origin was abusive #except I don't remember a massive chunk of said trauma #like it's been going on since my older sibling can remember bc they've alluded to think my parents should be divorced for that long #and I only sort of remember stuff when I was somewhat older

[bellewintersroe]

I saw that your ships are open and was wondering if I could request one?

I have short dark brown hair and brown eyes. I am 5'6. I am also ftm.

I am currently learning German and Ukrainian. I play the cello (I would say that I'm pretty decent at it). I want to join the paratroopers soon and maybe get a doctorate degree in the medical field. I like writing books, reading, and drawing. I am very interested in history mainly the 20th century. I also know how to cross-country ski and love the winter.

My MBTI type if I remember correctly is INTJ. I love procrastinating and do well under a lot of pressure. I'm also very stubborn and awkward with talking to people so I don't have many close friends. For some reason, I have a sort of knack for doing things well, even if it's the first time I've tried it and that might be because I listen really closely to stuff to make sure I'm doing everything correctly. I need a straightforward path and a list of things I should do to get something done.

I have depression, anxiety and maybe (I say maybe because it's undiagnosed) maladaptive daydreaming, which basically means I daydream too much that it's a problem. Any small words of affection or reassurance sends me through the roof and makes me happy for the rest of the day (idk why). That's all I can think of for now.

hey! Hope you’re doing good, thank you for your request!! I have read your other message too, I’m going to integrate it into this post!

I ship you with… Lewis Nixon!

Okay first of all, the fact you both have brown hair and brown eyes is so aesthetically pleasing to me? I feel like as a couple your looks would just literally look so good together. Like you just look like a perfect match?!

Lewis brought up travelling the world and attending Yale University means he’s a clearly educated man? So when he meets you it’s literally his perfect match, the fact you’re so talented in so many different areas is almost bizarre to him?!

like you can play instruments, you strive to be a paratrooper, and getting a whole doctorate degree?! Nix would literally be in shock? Of course proud is an underestimate. I feel he’d be a super supportive boyfriend?

let’s say you were stressed out one day because of work or education, I feel like he’s the type to come up and rub your shoulders and offer you a massage, to take you out for dinner, literally spoil you to elevate some of your stress?

The two of you would 1000% read books together? Like one of you would have your head in each others lap, or you'd share the same pillow even if you were in a queen sized bed?? I think Lewis would thrive from just being physically close to you.

take this man skiing. Please. It would 100% go one way or the other, hed fucking ace it or wouldn’t even try it because he knew he’d make a fool of himself. I feel like watching you ski so effortlessly would intimidate him into just sitting in the ski bars drinking whisky and watching you??

Oh he admired you and you’re endless talents.

I feel like being a more quieter and thoughtful person, Lewis would approach you first. In my mind it would be as simple as he found you attractive and struck up a conversation with you?

he’d tell you pretty quickly his feelings for you and omg I really really fancy this man. He’d want to take such good care of you, and I feel like he’d try bring you out of your shell almost?

only if you were comfortable with that of course. Lewis couldn’t stand seeing you hurt or the slightest bit worried by something he’d done.

the fact that you’re so good at almost everything you do?! Lewis is stunned, he’s amazed beyond belief. Not only is he super fucking attracted to you, but his jaw is constantly dropped by your effort in everything you do?

he’d definitely just come up behind you and wrap an arm around your front and pull you close. I think Lewis would be great at reassurance and words of affirmation, he’s a straight talking, honest man.

you have no room for overthinking, and if he needs you to do something for him??? I don’t think he’ll sugarcoat it, the two of you are so alike I feel like he just doesn’t even need to try?

he’s so effortlessly understanding surrounding you and your feelings. If you feel your anxiety and depression flaring up don’t hesitate to speak to him about it.

need anything? Ask him? Worried about something to do with him? Tell him. Lewis couldn’t stand the thought of you in that way.

And if there’s nothing he could physically do to help??? This man would 1000% stay in bed with you all day and tender to your every need. He would be so fucking gentle and warm- dhifoeifhdisoeoirbr

You owning shirts of country’s you hadn’t been to is so funny to Lewis.

however every time you put on a new shirt, Lewis is like “been there, hated it there, that’s not somewhere that should be printed onto a shirt”.

seriously, where hasn’t he been???

the man would love to take you travelling, he’d definitely want to spoil you rotten in each and every country on the globe.

Your similar style with Lewis means you could share your wardrobe.

often you’d lose your aviation sunglasses for hours?! Sometimes days? And then he’d rock up wearing them. I suppose you couldn’t complain because you just know he’d look so good.

And if your transition is when you’re with Lewis, he’s support your every single step. As long as you were happy and comfortable he felt he could give you his utter love and support.

platonically, I match you with… Eugene Roe!

Okay I feel like this friendship would come about further into the war? Let’s pretend you were out there together.

eugene, constantly looking out for everybody would recognise you were a little quiet. The man has been through some tough experiences himself, so he felt he could resonate with you?

there was no awkwardness between you both, I suppose in a way he’d be easy to open up to. He’d 100% provide reassurance and just the small little nice things you’d need to keep you feeling a little more positive each day.

I think the friendship would be so so healthy, neither of you trauma dumped on each other, but you just naturally understood one another?

the fact you both work so well under pressure just screams excellent team work. Eugene maybe recognises your lack of close friendships, and besides his worry of growing close to people, he just knew he wanted to be around to and ensure you were okay?

I suppose in a way the friendship is built on trust and a mutual respect, Gene would feel safe around you, more so than anybody else in the company.

I truly think the two of you would make a wholesome pairing.

#band of brothers #band of brothers ships #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagines #lewis nixon x reader #eugene roe #eugene roe x reader

[comfreyhollywings]

𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑫𝑶 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑳𝑬𝑻 𝑮𝑶 𝑶𝑭? (𝑷𝑨𝑪 𝑬𝑫𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵)

𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒄 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔. 𝒈𝒐 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐.

pile 1 keywords: “expectations” “limitations” “head-knowledge” “resestting”. could any of you be ones that wear bright colors?? i’m seeing a lot of orange - orange sweaters. possibly related to the sacral chakra? susceptible with blockages around there. - Ace of Wands Rx

- 10 of Wands 

- 9 of Pentacles 

- Page of Cups

- 3 of Pentacles 

back of deck - 8 of Cups Rx 

are you possibly afraid of letting go of the expectations and goals that you’ve set on yourself, pile 1? like i’m getting the feeling of having a pre-conceived notion; an imagery of HOW and WHAT you should be in your head but there’s an event in your life where you’re reconsidering what type of person you are. it feel like you’re carrying a burden you know if very heavy on you. it’s like this feeling of a yoke on a cattle. it’s very heavy, and you keep dragging it on. there is an emphasis where you’re very focused on financial stability, resources, wealth, and whatnot. this project you’re either working on or had in your heart (since you’re exploring every possibility of it) requires collaboration in order to seek out the goal - this financial independence you’re looking for. in a sense, i sort of feel like this is talking about a job that you feel stagnant about? like, you don’t have any desire to reach your goals due to how much the job sucks the energy out of you. 

what you need to let go of tis this dream and expectation that you need to keep dragging this burden in order to achieve your goals. the more your attention is specifically focused on that one specific thing, the more your energy is going to be placed there. you’re not putting your focus efficiently to achieve your goals here. see, there’s a large emphasis i’m feeling around collaboration. 

are you afraid to ask for help, pile 1? because i’m also getting the sense that you may lean a bit towards hyper-independence when it’s proving to be extracting your energy. i’m also getting the opposite too?? that you may be distracted about what other people are saying about your true desires to explore what you REALLY want that it’s getting the way of the independence to bloom out into the open. 

release the burden you’ve been carrying upon yourself that you need to fight battles that aren’t your own. this is your life you’re living.

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█   ◈   █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█

pile 2 keywords: “fuck im being so overwhelmed by choices right now” “anxiety” “what do i need to do now?” “i’m disassociating. i can’t think coherently.” “heaviness in my chest” “shit this is so hard” “static in my head” “im having a migraine/headache” “constantly hiding things in fear of making them worse” “screw people, dogs are superior”

- 7 of Swords

- 7 of Cups 

- 6 of cups

- The Moon

- Knight of Swords 

back of deck - death

certain things aren’t pulling through for you right now, pile 2. as im channeling this, i feel a migraine incoming because i feel the stress radiating from the choices you have for yourself right now. gaslighting?? is that a huge thing that’s popping up in your lives right now? your energy feels a little closed off. a little hard to read too. it’s almost like you’re feeling obviously overwhelmed right now, but you’re hiding it in front of your loved ones. like you’re putting up a brave face. some of you could possibly have children (specific message though) and that’s why you’re putting up a brave face in the midst of all this chaos? 

you have this weird thing with you where you’re very careful not to fall into impulse, but somehow you still do in this way that’s really subtle. it’s kind of like maladaptive daydreaming where you impulsively try and act out another scene again and again in hoping that it gives you relief from your daily environments?? man, pile 2, it’s like you’re constantly being overwhelmed by a lot of this that you’re retreating back to your subconscious in hopes of hiding something there.

there’s something in the past that you keep reliving. in a sense, it’s like you take comfort in that memory of your childhood even though you know that it isn’t healthy for you or anyone around you. i’m getting the sense that this memory is extremely unhealthy for you, but you keep reliving it in hopes of getting some sort of closure from it even though it’s not the case. in this past you keep reliving, it’s like you’re trying to gain some semblance of control over it while your external environment is so chaotic.  you have a lot of options out there, so what options should you choose, right? yet, still. it’s causing you to get headaches over the sheer mental energy that you’re just.. saying “fuck it”? kind of getting the imagery of someone playing darts and hoping that they’ll get a mark right or something. basically trying to wing it. 

you’re scared to enter this new stage of life you’re transitioning in, pile 2. because i highly think that in order to move forward with this certain part of your life, you need to let the past die. and that’s still something you’re holding on to with a tight grip instead of letting it past peacefully. 

during this period, i feel that pets are very helpful to ground you right now? there’s a specific emphasis on dogs that i want to bring up. your pets might have something important that they want to say to you, actually. pay close attention to them.  

let go of the past and embrace the transformation you’re going through right now. it’s really scary and it might seem worse at the moment, but i promise it will be worth it. 

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█   ◈   █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█

pile 3 keywords: “chaotic” “firey, slightly impulsive” “darker beige and brown colors - hints of scarlets in your clothing” “fire signs, aries-leo-saggitarius” “glitch in the system” 

- Knight of Swords Rx

- Knight of Wands

- 6 of Cups Rx 

- 5 of Cups Rx 

back of deck - 10 of Swords

for a majority of you, i think this is my fire signs pile. again, when i think of three, spirit is really highlighting to me the creativity, drive, and passion you had/have in this situation. i feel as if it’s been tampered down because of this situation, because i do feel like there’s been heartbreak going on with you guys. whether it’s a friendship breakup, family separation, or a romantic breakup, i feel as if you had a long-term goal/plan with this person. but for some reason or another, it’s gone. 

you’re really trying to move forward, and in the midst of doing that…this situation is causing you to act impulsively within your situation. you might come across as reckless, heavily impulsive, or even cruel. in the midst of trying to move on, i feel as if your logic and emotions are out of balance. your guides are really referring me to how each of the cups in your pile (representing emotions) are reversed - all spilling out in the open. and the only one representing logic (sword suite) in your pile is reversed too. it’s like those two are clashing with each other because.. of this possible betrayal?? actually, i think you guys feel as if you’ve been stabbed in the back because of this separation. you’re trying very, very hard to move on but it’s just.. leading you into hole after hole because you’re frustrated that the healing process isn’t going by YOUR timeline.

surrender that pain up to spirit and allow yourself to feel these things. i want to emphasize that the hurt you feel will take time to heal. it’s not just this one and done thing where you cry hard the other day, and the next you’re fine. please take it easy on yourself and reflect. because if you just go on ahead putting the entire blame on yourself or the other party, it’s not.. going to be productive nor healthy for you? plus, acting on impulse based on this heartbreak will just lead you into more spilled cups, if that makes sense. 

breakups/separation are usually very complex as it takes two to tango. when the emotions have passed, reflect on the situation and how you’ve contributed to it. 

maybe you’ll find something that you haven’t realized about yourself before.

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█   ◈   █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█

#pick a card #pick a pile reading #pick a picture #tarot reading #tarot community #astro community #tarot #tarot card #pac reading #pac tarot

[nakedbibi333]

hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist

Hi! Okay, so since this is a very long post, I will try to answer each of your questions/concerns in the order you mention them.

So about persisting, I can understand how it seems a bit complicated. You persist when, after a certain period of time, you still don't see movement of your desires manifesting OR if you see the OPPOSITE of your desires manifest. Oftentimes, when you finally open up your mind to the idea that your mind creates your reality, then some past doubts and fears can manifest as well. Your mind will often try to manifest opposite things in order to make you feel like you are doing something wrong, which is why so many loa teachers say to persist. It can be very difficult for people to persist, which is why so many people feel like they can't manifest, or that manifestation isn't real, because their 3D reality has too much weight in their lives, so they take it as truth and end up giving up on their desires manifesting. It's important to begin to believe that your 3D reality is extremely malleable and is only a reflection of your inner reality. You need to take the power away from the 3D and give it to yourself and your ability to create exactly what you want.

Then you ask about proof of manifestation. It is very true and understandable that other people's success stories are not enough for many people because you want to be able to trust the information that you are going to be getting into. Personally, before getting into manifestation, I already had my fair share of unexplainable success stories in my life, so it just seemed like an answer to the questions I've had all my life. Even with these success stories and experiences, when I first got into manifestation, I still would doubt myself by wondering if it was simply a coincidence these things happened, or worse, that I was becoming delusional. I want to tell you that every single person who is now into manifestation has gone through this feeling. We all worry that we are just doing "wishful thinking" and being delusional because the world we have grown up in has always been so practical. It's not easy to believe in something that seems so impossible without any previous personal experience. So, the only advice I can give you for this is to try to manifest extremely small things to build your faith over time, such as seeing a yellow butterfly, getting your favorite food, or seeing some sort of sign, so that you would know that what we are talking about is actually the truth. Also, there are so many documents that go more in-depth on how our minds create our reality, including CIA documents and books about the science of manifestation, such as books by Joe Dispenza, and books about the subconscious mind, such as books by Joseph Murphy, and many many more. Since the only way, you will really believe in manifestation is by having your own experiences, then manifesting small easy things is probably the best route.

Then, you mention how you're worried about "someone manifesting failure into your reality." My view on this is that you are the only person who can affect your life and nothing can happen to you that you don't specifically manifest into your reality (whether it be consciously or unconsciously). Everyone can manifest, yes. Everyone has control over their reality. You can even manifest people acting in certain ways towards you. But that's in your experience specifically. If we are talking about quantum physics, time is not linear, technically all possibilities of all time, ever, exists right now. We also shift through different realities at every moment depending on our mindset, beliefs, and decisions. So, if someone manifests something in their life that would affect "you" but does not align with your thoughts and beliefs, then it won't show up in your reality. You have control over your own reality, nothing comes into your life without you allowing it, so that's a very empowering thought, in my opinion. I really suggest that you affirm this so that you don't have to worry about others manifesting negativity over your life because you would never personally decide to manifest it into your own life.

I also want to talk about how you worry about affirming wrong or simply manifesting wrong. It's Important to note that these beliefs can also negatively affect your manifestation because that is not you truly living in the end. If you were living in the end, you would know that simply deciding that you want this to happen, means that it will happen and that it has to happen. You never need to doubt your manifesting process because your subconscious mind is so powerful and it is so easy to make it do things for you! Just like what @divineangelbee says, you can COMMAND your subconscious mind and it will listen and give you exactly what you want. You don't have to visualize or affirm or do anything. Simply tell your subconscious exactly what you want it to do and trust that it listens! I really think that the reason that you have not been having too much success is because of this, that you are constantly doubting your methods which keeps you from truly living in the end.

Then, about limiting beliefs. It can be beneficial to people to be aware of their limiting beliefs. However, there has been such an intense focus on limiting beliefs in the loa community (mostly on youtube) that I see so much. Coaches keep you focused on the problem of limiting beliefs so much that they don't actually help you move on from them. Personally, I found that whenever I focused on my limiting beliefs, it was like living in the old story. (if you don't get this reference, I seriously suggest you read or listen to Neville Goddard's lectures in which he talks about the law of assumption. They are life-changing). Focusing on limiting beliefs keeps you stuck in that story you are telling yourself about your life. It keeps you from overcoming them and becoming limitless. It helps me to affirm that my limiting beliefs no longer have the power to hold me back. I don't have any more limiting beliefs because I manifested not having them anymore. Manifestation works in many different ways, and a lot of people don't realize that you can simply manifest your desired mindset as well. I suggest trying this!

So, to make this as clear as possible, I will tell you how I personally manifest (disclaimer: people manifest differently, many different things work for different people, I am not saying this is the only or best way to manifest, but this is just what works for me).

First, I get my idea of what I want to manifest. Usually, I want to manifest multiple things at a time, there really is no limit.

Then, I will decide what will help me "feel it real" and "live in the end." This can include techniques, but I don't use techniques every time. I don't like to visualize because I am personally a maladaptive daydreamer, so visualizing makes me feel like I am daydreaming, which keeps me from really feeling like it's really happening. (But, if it works for you, by all means, go for it) I may print out a picture if it's a physical item in order to trick my brain into having something physical that represents this or adding it to a Pinterest vision board (I am a very visual person, so it always works for me). I also like to make a list of what I want just to keep it in a place that I can go back to and mark off in the future, telling my brain that this is a goal I need to achieve (I find that my brain loves to check things off of my goals, it makes my subconscious mind already start working towards the goal). But most of the work goes into my mindset. I don't affirm a lot because I feel like it becomes a chore if I have to recite affirmations all day every day. I may put up affirmations on my chalkboard or put them on my computer, but I don't make it a habit to really say them at specific times, etc. I really focus on making myself feel deserving of getting my manifestation and I also live in the end. Living in the end is where you feel confident that your desire is already yours. If it helps, which it does for me, I like to believe that I have it already in the "quantum field," or the 5D, or however you believe in it. It is not about being delusional and pretending like you have it, no, it's about feeling trusting in your own power to make this happen for you and it will come, no matter what.

After that, I "drop it." I don't forget about it or stop desiring it, that's not what letting go means. It means that I know that I don't need to do anything or force anything to happen because my subconscious, or the universe, will bring this to me and I don't need to worry about anything related to my desire. I also self-regulate my emotions by meditating, focusing on the things that make me happy, and reminding myself of how powerful and capable I am.

Then, eventually, it manifests. Or, if it doesn't come in the timeframe I wanted it to, or if something that would oppose my desire pops up, I focus on my own self-concept, making sure I genuinely feel deserving of and that I can get what I want, and I persist in that feeling that my desire is still mine. No matter if I got rejected, no matter if they told me I couldn't get the job, no matter if it looks like it won't happen. I still persist. and then it comes.

Finally, I want to mention that I am only here to give advice and I can't make anything physically happen for you. To see actual movement in your reality, you need to be willing to go through failures in order to find out what works for you. I have had manifestations fail, I have had MANY manifestations fail. It's not always a perfect process. I don't charge money, my identity is not on this page, I am not here to be a famous coach or to act like I know any better than anyone else. I am just trying to help you guys reach the point that you deserve to get to in your life. But I can only do so much. I really hope this helps.

#ask #advice #long post

[battlemaiden13]

What about an s/o who has maladaptive daydreaming? It’s kinda like a coping mechanism, sometimes I can stay awake for hours and I end talking to myself lol. My family thinks I’m crazy lmao

Sans -Leaves you alone when you go into a daydreaming state. He doesn’t really know how else to deal with it and you seem happy and haven’t asked for his help so he isn’t going to step in or anything and ruin your daydream. He’s happy to just leave you be.

Papyrus -He doesn’t really understand it and talks to you at length about what he can do or what you want him to do when you are in a daydreaming state. From then on whenever he notices you in one of these states he will do what you asked. He just sees it as something you do. 

Red -uses it to tease you. He’s recorded you a few times saying dumb shit that he will constantly laugh at and make fun of you for. He knows you can’t help daydreaming at random times throughout the day but if he’s there he might as well get some fun out of it. 

Edge -When he doesn’t know what it is he gets super annoyed at you and just assumes that you are just ignoring him, when he learns it’s a condition he’s nicer about it. It can still get on his nerves every now and then but he tends to just leave you be now and won’t yell at you or try to shake you out of it. 

Blue -He doesn’t really get it. Maladaptive daydreaming is not something he can wrap his head around because doesn’t everyone daydream? He eventually stops asking questions and just lets you daydream when he notices it. Although there is a chance he could continue to talk to you while you aren’t mentally in the room. 

Orange -on the plus side both of your sleep patterns are screwed up so you get to spend time together at weird times of the day. He doesn’t really mind the maladaptive daydreaming and just lets you do you. He’s content just hanging out in the same room as you whether you are mentally there or not.

Berry -He was annoyed at first but after learning what it is and that certain triggers can cause you to have these daydreams he actually goes out of his way to avoid certain topics, places and smells so that you don’t drift off on him. He puts in a lot of work so he can just hang out with you and you do notice a decrease in your day dreaming when hanging out with you. 

Syrup -most of the time he will just let you do you. He likes watching you as you daydream, he thinks the expressions you make are cute and the conversations are entertaining. Of course he also knows all your triggers so if he just wants to be with you in a moment he knows what to avoid and how to keep you grounded.

#undertale #undertale imagines #undertale sans #undertale papyrus #underfell #Underfell Papyrus #underfell sans #underSwap #underswap sans #underswap papyrus #swapfell #swapfell sans #swapfell papyrus

[signedaiko]

hello! i’d like to request a romantic tfp matchup!

this got a bit wordy, so i apologise if there’s any trouble!

i’m a vietnamese 5’7 nonbinary with sorta shaggy hair? it’s black and there’s some light purple streaks in it. my pronouns are they/he. i’m an INTP diagnosed with autism. i’m also a maladaptive daydreamer. i’m mostly known as the quiet, “who knows what’s going on in their head” type in public, but with close friends i tend to ramble about whatever i’m thinking.

i’m not sure why, but i like the kind of people who talk a lot. i like having someone to fill the silence, since i tend to communicate through writing or gestures when tired (which is most of the time). if we’re close, i’ll talk to you physically, but it tends to tire me out even more. i don’t really know why it’s been like that- i used to be really talkative.

i’m very interested in voice acting and impressions, and hope to do that kind of work in the future. it’s always been my dream to be a part of something big, but i constantly doubt myself and have trouble going outside of my comfort zone. as of right now, i like to work on voices for my ocs, or just the characters that i like. i can do a pretty good ratchet, which is fun.

i’m quite forgetful, and i tend to repeat myself. it’s probably because of my constant daydreaming. i often tell stories i’ve already told before, or rambled about something that i’ve already rambled about. i’ve been trying to work on it, but i even forget to do that. it’s kind of a problem, and i appreciate anyone who reminds me to do things.

my hobbies are writing, voice acting and watching anime, emphasis on the last one. if i’m currently invested in a show, it’s usually all i think about. i’ll unintentionally change the subject of conversation just so i can ramble about it. it’s lost me a few friends in the past, so now i tend to not really talk if the conversation isn’t about something i’m familiar with. that said, i like to ramble to my dad about the shows i watch, or my ocs, or anything really. i’m sure the old man is tired of listening to me now haha

- espresso anon

You got…Knock Out!

If we look for someone who will absolutely shred the silence, it's Knock Out by far. This mech even speaks to himself. Whether someone is there or not he's always chatting it up. But if he's the first to admit, having someone like you there is always better. Your little nods of agreement and small gestures only encourage his rambles, which got him to work just a tad bit faster. He actually encourages your use of what he calls " Humans power to mimic others " and what you call voice acting to Megatron, allowing you to skillfully trick some of the bots using their own voices. You don't like getting too involved in all that, though, so they have to convince you pretty thoroughly. It's one thing to talk a lot, but it is another to come up with those hyper Autobot personalities. Knock out is insanely good at getting you to laugh. With his dramatics and unorganized attitude mixed with all of that sass, it's hard not to double over. He loves your laugh a lot and only sees it as a reason to continue prodding. Once you passed out, passed out from it, and he still fears for your entire life, haha. Date nights involve you showing him your favourite shows. He was so used to drive-in theatres that he never expected to be able to project earth movies anywhere he wanted. Now you have someone complaining about the plot WITH you. " She totally deserved better- " " Humans are ridiculous! She clearly HAD to do it...Primus. "

———-

Authors Note - So lovely to see you Espresso anon; we are starting to accumulate a whole coffee shop in here with caffeine birb anon too!

#transformers #transformers prime #matchup #tfp #knockout

[smutty-ki113r]

I will definitely share my experience with you if it makes you feel motivated!!!!!

Now, first of all, it took me a WHILE to finally shift. AND LMFAO THE FIRST TIME I SHIFTED I GOT SCARED AND WENT BACK TO MY CR AND I WAS SO PISSED, but like after a couple more tries I finally was able to shift again and omfg it gave me euphoriaaa I almost didn't want to leave but I love my friends and family in my CR too much.

When I went back to my CR though I was EXHAUSTED, so that's why I recommend taking care of your body and nourishing it correctly before you shift because there's a 99% chance that when you wake up your body will feel like crap if you don't.

The process of shifting was so aggravating, everytime I would try shifting my body would give me the signs that it was working and I would get too excited and just jump up only to be disappointed smhsmh.

Also I have this dumb thing where I always feel like there's tiny things crawling all over me and it always fucks with me when I shift. Even when I'm trying to sleep normally it pisses me off because I'm always feeling likes there's ants on me or some shit.

I honestly don't shift very often, only when I really feel like I want to, because it's really mentally exhausting and when I used to do it often I would end up getting realllyyy depressed when I wasn't in my DR and that's dangerous because I don't want to be obsessed with it and end up damaging myself. So if you do end up shifting, don't do it too often.

Anyway, when I first got into shifting and tried it out, these are things I was doing wrong:

- I wasn't taking care of my body

- I was doubting my abilities in shifting

- I wasn't meditating often

- I wasn't listening to subliminals throughout the day

Listening to subliminals often is importantttt, it helps to really engrave the shifting concept into your mind and meditating is extra important because if you want to shift healthily you're going to have to really give yourself that brain power/strength and clear away all the anxiety you have, the more you doubt your ability the shift the more your brain is going to pass on it.

Also I remember a time I was at a fucking sleepover and I decided to attempt to reality shift AND RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO MY FRIEND WOKE UP AND SLAPPED ME BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I DIED I-

It was frustrating.

The process is frustrating, but shifting is possible, and if you really really want to do it then you can. Keep encouraging yourself and keep researching and taking care of your body and your brain will finally get there.

Also, while you're in the process, it's also so important to NOT get distracting while you're shifting or get too excited. It will 100% mess you up. Shifting requires intense concentration and you need your body to be completely relaxed, only think about your DR and ONLY think about what will happen when you get there, will you smell or hear something, or will you open your eyes to something, it all depends on how you script it.

Also do whatever method works for you and try all kinds of methods, me personally I used a combination of the raven method, staircase method, and counting method while using a heartbeat subliminal. It may seem like a lot but it's what worked best for me personally.

Anyways, I hope this helped! ^^

👅

OK I finally have time to respond to this in DETAIL YAY! Btw, thank you so sososoosososs much for taking the time to write this out. Also you don’t have to read any of this, it’s just me talking about it lollll.

First off, UPDATE: bro I wasn’t trying to shift last night and then I was tired (3am) so I tried to sleep but couldnt so I listened to (DO NOT LAUGH ISTG) the song of unhealing cause its calming. And I started hearing this sort of muffled noise, I tried paying attention but couldnt make it out so I think it was voices. And then- holy lord I almost lost- wait no I LOST MY SHIT. I heard knocking, a fucking ACTUAL knock, I fucking. My whole body got so hot and I had to stop cause I was so excited I cried. Then I was exhausted so I went to sleep.

SECONDLY. I’ve never heard of your body being exhausted after so thank you for the tip. I used to be convinced I was there and then I wasn’t. FUCKING ME TOO! I think there’s a fucking dust particle on my arm and then an itch on my neck or something.

I have been scared of that too, because I have had (and I feel horrible saying this but it’s the internet and you dunno who I am) a very rough childhood. Maladaptive daydreaming and just pretending I somewhere else gave me a lot of trauma, especially in really bad situations. I think a huge part of why I haven’t shifted yet is because of the existential crisis I will most definitely have. I already obsess enough over this world, and now I’m trying to go? It’s hard, but I can’t NOT do it. If I stop then I won’t have a goal, and if I’m constantly going for something do I have a purpose? SEE? I can’t help it.

Ok so I’ve been trying for a while too, and I AM COMPLETLY CONFIDENT that I can do it, also that I do meditate every day! Taking care of my body is sort of a lost cause, I refuse to eat fruits and vegetivles (stupid I know) but I used to associate “healthy” foods with my *TW* an*rexia. Now I feed off pasta, also cause it’s cheaper. I sleep at 1 or 2am because why. Because I am 1. Writing and I need to post on schedule 2. Listening to music and imagining that I’m already in my dr. Or doing other unholy things. I can’t stop exercising, so Im constantly tired and heavy, I feel bad if I don’t/ do less. I have tried taking care of myself for years, it’s very, very hard.

You’re so right, I need to get the idea in my head and establish it. HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOURE DOING IT? Do you detach from your body? Or do you melt through your skin?

Hehehe I do tend to get excited, but my good voice tries so hard to hold me down. I have been trying to keep myself concentrated in creative ways, just focusing on the sound of the knocking, or the sound of the fan, or the person I’m trying to get to. The person I will fucking push myself to the edge for because I want him to have someone to love him. I want him to be ok.

I know I can do it, I know it’s possible, I know I will do it. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH <3

#🚹

[dt-canim]

Oh boy, this is gonna be a long one haha. This is a bit of an unusual post, but Tumblr, I need some assistance.

Ok so I've always have known about autism and stuff like it but it wasn't until about a year ago that I started looking into neurodivergency more. If you're wondering, it was brought about by my favorite Ducktales episode (season 3 episode 6: Astro Boyd) airing for the first time and I saw people talking about its autistic/neurodivergent themes.

Since then, I’ve been picking up some of my tendencies and it got me wondering. I never remember getting tested for this stuff so this is just based on my experiences and research. So for educational purposes, I'm gonna put some of the traits I do and see if any neurodivergent ppl relate lol

The first thing I want to touch upon is something plenty of us are probably familiar with: stimming. My experiences include;

Excitedly hitting a book I'm reading because of a cool call back, a really funny joke, or simply something badass happening (this just happened to me other day lol)

Flailing my arms and/or legs when something similar (to the point above) happens in a movie or tv show I enjoy

“Vibing” with my best friend includes: waving my arms and head around, bobbing up and down like I am an idle video game character, and/or just generally moving in place for a solid minute or two

The next thing I will mention: Hyperfixations

If you have seen my Tumblr, profile, or simply paid attention to the beginning of this post, you may not be surprised that I hyperfixate with my favorite show, possibly ever, Ducktales. I got emotional last year when I heard it was ending and legitimately cried at the end of the last episode. I mean watching those final credits still makes my heart hurt. (And I know I'm terrible at posting but I will never truly leave the Dt fandom)

Sometimes it happens rather quickly. For instance, I went to the mall with my friend last Saturday and impulsively bought a book called The Extraordinaries. I finished it in 3 days and I swear if I don't go back to that Barnes & Noble and get my hands on the sequel soon I will do crimes.

When I find things to hyperfixate about it is all I want to talk about with people for a while. But then I feel bad when they don't share my interests because I don't just want people to listen to me babble my head off all the time about stuff they don't care about.

Something I found out recently, losing track of time apparently can be a neurodivergent trait.

So yeah I've done this a lot. Overall, I just have terrible time management skills. I'm not great at putting things down on a timeline and it makes me anxious when I do so.

Also, since going into homeschooling about 5 years ago, I constantly lose track of time. Most of the time, I only know what day and time it is because I have a calendar next to my bed and a phone around me at all times. (off-topic but it annoys me that I used the word time so often here)

Prioritizing tasks, knowing how to start things, and just overall getting shiz done..???

I have. So many. Sketches I want to finish. But I keep going to a new one cause woop I just got a new idea must do it now right?! (Seriously though, I'm sorry that I haven't been posting much art lately)

I have a comic I want to start developing but I have no idea how on earth I should do that. And sometimes things seem obvious, like get the outlines for your story, get main plot points down, PUT YOUR DAM IDEAS YOU HAVE IN YOUR HEAD DOWN SOMEWHERE ANYWHERE. But nooo I'll just sit here and keep starting new sketches of my main characters. That'll get you a product you'll be happy with.

Sometimes I will just sit there thinking ok I'm sitting here but I have work I need to get done and I am running out of time to do it and it is stressing me out right now but I can't move I can't do it but I need to because it needs to get done and I am running out of time but it is stressful. Rinse and repeat for at least a half-hour, maybe take a nap lol.

This point is the fact that even though I never got tested I know I have maladaptive daydreaming which has a link to Adhd and neurodivergency in general.

For those who don't know what that is, I will try to explain. Yes, it is daydreaming but it's more than that. (you know what? I'm just gonna put the traits I found off of a site and add my feelings toward it lol)

extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots, and other detailed, story-like features

daydreams triggered by real-life events (mostly media I consume in my case)

difficulty completing everyday tasks (kinda like the stress-sitting I mentioned earlier just with daydreaming mixed in)

difficulty sleeping at night (at the time of making this point is it currently 3 am, though I am aware I'm up rn because of this post, it is usually because of the daydreaming)

an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming (ok that's just...accurate)

performing repetitive movements while daydreaming (typically I walk around my house like a ping pong ball)

making facial expressions while daydreaming (idk I usually mouth what my character are saying or replicate the face their making)

whispering and talking while daydreaming (^^)

daydreaming for lengthy periods

The last thing I will mention for now is my family cause many sources say that this stuff is commonly genetic soooooooo

My mother has been diagnosed with dyslexia since she was a kid.

We've suspected that my brother has Adhd. To put it in perspective I will paraphrase something that his 2nd-grade teacher once said. “He moves around so much I want to just strap him to a chair sometimes but I am afraid to do it cause I think he'll explode”

I have more I could potentially talk about but I don't want to make this too long. I just want to know if anyone relates to this. So here take this mess of me hahahaaaaaaaa

#neurodivergent #adhd #austism #adhd things #stimming #hyperfixation #maladaptive problems #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive behaviors #neurodivergencies #does any if this make sense

[ughgclden]

🎞—CONGRATS ON 900!! i love love love both of your blogs so freaking much you inspire me all the time. can i get a character within the fear street universe? some things about me is that i have short, curly brown hair and blue-green eyes, i’m not sure if appearance has anything to do with it but i thought i’d add it in! i’m pretty sarcastic around my closest friends and generally good at making new ones, even though i get a bit anxious at big gatherings like dances and parties. i stick to a close group of friends, like 99% of the time. i’m also an avid theatre kid lmao—i’ve been singing and acting for over a decade. i write a lot. like, i have twenty seven half-finished book drafts and a million poems in my notes app. i make super super extensive playlists in which every single song has a specific reason for being on the playlist. i also work at a coffee shop and have an addiction to caffeine! i’m a maladaptive daydreamer, so i’ll literally spend hours daydreaming about being in my favorite movie/book/tv worlds and romanticizing relationships with my favorite characters (i’m bi, so there’s a big playing field in this lol). i have legit zero volume control at times and i’m an empath (like, too much empathy at times that it makes me physically incapable of doing anything). i read a lot and i like to annotate/highlight my books. i write on my hands a lot (i have a million markers and pens it’s insane) but i’m t e r r i b l e at drawing. i do lots of peace signs and finger guns when i don’t know what to say or just at random times so i don’t have to continue conversations lol. my favorite part is probably part two, i’m in love with both nick and ziggy lol. AH that was a lot of information that you probably didn’t need, but i really appreciate you doing this!! CONGRATS AGAIN!! i love being mutuals <3333

THANKS SO MUCH ANGEL!! you’re honestly the sweetest ever omg- currently crying over "you inspire me all the time". i can’t even tell u how much i adore both you and your blogs, you're so lovely and talented <33 also as a fellow maladaptive daydreamer, i felt that omg. if nobody got me i know the relationships w fictional characters i made in my head got me </3 anyways, onto the ship! you'll be happy to know that..

i’d ship you with ziggy berman!

okay, you with ziggy is just perfect to me - and the fact you're in love with her makes it even better. this may get long, so i apologise in advance.

first of all, ziggy thinks you're absolutely gorgeous from the moment she lays eyes on you in camp, and nothing changes when you both get together. she loves twirling your curls around her fingers and is constantly complimenting your eyes, especially the way they look when the sun hits them. sarcasm is practically your guys' love language i swear - you're constantly exchanging sarcastic remarks laced with lovesick smiles and laughter. please sing to her - oh my god, please. it never fails to make her happy, and she'll join in sometimes (i hc she has a great voice, fight me) so you two are just performing duets together. she's always blown away by your poems - she can't understand how your brain can put words together so eloquently and how you can be so so talented. you'd both make so many playlists together, half of them so overly specific, and would definitely make playlists for each other. this girl loves loves loves her coffee, so please don't be surprised when she begs you to make her a drink in exchange for some kisses. ziggy swears you make the BEST coffee, and no one makes it like you. she loves that you're an empath, adoring the amount of compassion you have, but will also try her hardest to make sure it isn't detrimental to you. she wants you to be happy <3 ziggy would also annotate books after you show her how, taking to her favourite stephen king novel's with a pen and highlighter and just going to town with it. you guys will exchange annotated books to see each other's thoughts and feelings!!! if she ever sees you writing on your hands, she'll place hers in front of you without a word, just waiting for you to doodle and write whatever you please on it. she tries to go as long as possible without completely washing it off, wearing your artwork with pride. peace signs and finger guns? ziggy loves it so much she adopts it herself. if you throw a peace sign up at her, there's a 99% chance she'll return it before changing the topic of conversation, knowing you're running out of things to say. this girl is just in love with you okay- she is super protective over you and can and will fight anyone who tries anything with you.

i hope u liked this lovely- it was super fun to write!!! thank u for being just an overall amazing mutual,, i'm so grateful and flattered to have someone as lovely as you following me - it means so much :') <333

#ughgclden's 900 follower celebration

[greycappedjester]

Sorry, I don’t have any questions about your stories (which I love btw! i struggle with maladaptive daydreaming which makes it hard for me to read books which is why I started reading fanfics, and I was able to read your hogwarts series in just a few days without getting distracted! 😁) i got off topic haha, but I do have writing questions.

How do you keep your characters so in-character? I’ve just started writing this year for fun so I’m not very good at it yet, and I feel like my characters (which are hq characters) are constantly out of character.

Thank you so much, I am truly honored  you liked the series so much.

Hmmmm, okay, so I had to actually think about the question about how to write characters for a bit because, honestly, I view writing my own characters sometimes as my weakness (along with writing titles, summary paragraphs in text, and actual short stories that aren’t tied to anything else--blegh, definitely not my strength).

So....what I’d say is writing characters for fanfiction is mostly working off your own headcanons. What is it you love about them? What do you think their weakness is? What’s their biggest driving factor? What do you think would irritate them the most? What’s their value in the conversation?

Then, you got their general motivation to make character arcs in the story (where you can ask what about them could change for the better). For dialogue, try going through a similar process of thinking about canon and just writing general descriptors of how you’d classify their dialogue.

(Side note: these are more how I view these characters, feel free to disagree or go with different traits or...you know, do whatever headcanon of the characters you want. That’s one of the reasons I love fanfic, seeing how many ways the characters can be interpreted)

Hinata: energetic, loud, friendly. When motivated/pissed off, intensely focused and large presence/scary.

But also....

Oikawa: teasing, talks more in circles than directly, almost childish pettiness at points. Deeply motivated but hides it under flippancy usually. Pride. Scary intense/borderline wild energy when moved to extremes

Kageyama: direct, blunt, somewhat accidental intimidating presence to strangers, dork once people know him, not the best at caring about or interpreting social cues.

etc., etc.