#it just reinforces the idea that my feelings are invalid my feelings have been invalid to him for the past 23years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peachjagiya · 16 days

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Oh can I submit a controversial opinion?

We all know and hate the nonsense claim about Tae being "just a visual". I know we mainly talk about the company vs Tae. But I also feel like sometimes that was driven by the group/members too...

I know they are brothers and all support each other (and I love their group dynamic). I know that within the group that different members have different bonds and the changes and evolves over time. I also know that there were a lot of times when it was more about actions than words -- how Namjoon really worked to "understand" Tae and now he plays along with him so seemlessly; how Yoongi helped make sure he got to participate and was understood, etc. But, like even those examples rely on the company narrative of him being weird. I'm not saying all the time, obviously. But it just feels like there were times when they reinforced the company narratives and roles -- and we know those still play a role in the fandom today. JK was the perfect, golden maknae. JM was sweet, hardworking dancer. Tae...weird. It could sometimes feel feel like his talents and contributions weren't always valued at the same level as the other maknae line.

*runs away and hides*

Gosh I really really agree. He's very often "othered" and it does actually bother me a lot. I am settled on the idea that it's mainly about narrative and that the day to day interactions aren't so hinged on it? But that public facing separation of Tae as weird is troublesome to me. (Made worse by my suspicion that it's a deliberate effort by the company but that's just a theory.)

With the absolute caveat that I do not diagnose any members with neurodiversity - or neurotypicality! - and don't think it's helpful to do that unless they speak about it themselves, speaking as a neurodiverse person, I think any unique thinking in anyone is often shut down inadvertently. Maybe you think about life a little different, maybe your speech patterns are different, maybe your humour is different, maybe your goals are different. And maybe people side eye that without even realising that it's kind of invalidating.

No pity party from me, I'm actually a very happy person despite bouts of depression, but I was always weird and aside throughout my life. I can get along really well with people who think I'm weird but I get along much better with people who just get me.

Interestingly, I don't know if you'd agree but I feel like JK is also kind of separated by being a little unusual in his thinking or behaviours but it's been less reinforced by company narrative. If anything, the company narrative paints a mainstream acceptable macho image of JK that doesn't reflect him at all.

I think this might be why JK and Wooga are Tae's safe space. I don't doubt for a single moment that BTS are super important to him, they're his brothers, but the people that take you exactly as you are and never unconsciously place you as weird and other are the ones who you want to be around a lot.

I see a lot of myself in Taehyung but it's a bad idea to assume that means he's also ADHD or whatever. It does mean I feel protective of his so-called quirks though. I always say that even if Tae turned out to be straight, his queer coding is important to me as a queer person. Similarly, his (and JKs) neurodivergent coding, regardless of whether he is diagnosed or identifies that way, is important to me as a ND person. And to see him being referred to as an alien or as weird... I dunno. It's not comfy even if I know it's not meant to hurt.

Thanks anon. What a cool conversation to get into. ❤

#taehyung #my asks

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2xplusungood · 9 months

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Im just gonna say it: My opinion is that recent "rebalances" to minecraft absolutely have sucked immensely lately, namely these two big ones:

Netherite changes: So now instead of simply mining the 24+whatever you need for tools ancient debris, you now also have to obtain netherite upgrades found in Bastion chests, which not only adds what feels like a completely unnecessary step to something that already requires a decent amount of commitment, but now gives the same problem to netherite armor that Elytras have: With limited world sizes, items that can only be collected through exploration are much more finite. Have fun no longer being able to have netherite on public servers becuase a group of the more grind-motivated players already have all the netherite upgrades in the world and have decided to gatekeep them from other people. Either that, or they are super generous with it and hand them out to everyone, which completely INVALIDATES the change's point of making netherite harder to get. In essence, it basically adds griefing potential without making it an overall better game.

Villager changes: This one I've seen coming for a long time now, ever since the Mojang devs hopped on Hermitcraft with Doc and said that villager changes were coming.

In my opinion, the biggest issue with villager trading is the random nature of trades and sitting there breaking and places lecterns to hopefully get mending. I think having a more straight forward way of getting the enchantment you want is a step in the right direction but its still probably the worst possible way it could've been implemented.

First off, you need to find a swamp biome (which holy shit I am so goddamned tired of wandering in random directions hoping to find a specific biome, not becuase I think its cool but because theres some specific bullshit I need from it before I leave it forever)

Then at the BARE MINIMUM, you now have to transport villagers TO that biome. I don't feel like I can stress enough how bad of an idea this is. Moving and transporting villagers is extremely annoying and is downright DISCOURAGED by the game (Lures do not work on them and theres no way to make them follow you becuase they are... you know... supposed to be PEOPLE and not just animals)

It was, however, by no means impossible and could still be done if you really needed to have them somewhere but it was never something you HAD to do to get specific items and if they do not add the two missing village types, you will now.

My next point is that Mojang seems to want to kill any gameplay outside of their views of how to play the game. Like I keep seeing these youtubes parroting the fact that "oh you can build these super overpowered villager breeders and converters to get super cheap trades" without actually answering "how is this a bad thing"

One of the biggest draws of minecraft is the extremely low skill floor but extremely high skill ceiling. A casual player can get all the tools they need to make whatever they like on a small to medium scale, but someone who is more willing to push minecraft to its limits are happily given the tool necessary to do so, regardless of how gamebreaking they can be.

Want infinite iron? Break the game by making a golem farm

Infinite copper: Break the game by utilizing the absolutely absurdly obscure mechanic of zombie reinforcements and then convert them to drowns.

Slime: Making a slime farm in a slime chunk or swamp using mushrooms

Need infinite TNT? Dupe it using coral, a mechanic that is 100% a bug but at this point will not be fixed (For the time being, barring any sudden changes in developer opinion) due to its millions of uses.

The point Im making is that farms not only add a means for getting a ridiculous amounts of materials to make ridiculous buildings that would otherwise take way more time, but also add a whole new layer of gameplay for the insane tech-minded crowd

Zombie discounts however? Somehow they are bad. Somehow, the ability to get cheap trades through a VERY involved process (Either you are manually infecting and curing them like a psychopath or building the infrastructure to automatically infect and cure them like a high functioning pyschopath). Its so terrible how you can... get certain enchantments easier... or get glass easier... or mid tier armor and weapons/tools? Like you don't even get these resources passively like most farms and each villager you bring into your trading hall requires some manner of time investment.

So WHY nerf villagers? Are they the most fun to deal with? Is actually doing this farms the pinnacle of gameplay? Not really, but the answer would be to streamline this process (Being able to manually cycle trades without constantly breaking the workblock would be a good start) and not just take it out back and old yeller that shit.

My tinfoil is that some Microsoft exec found out about villager farms and decided it didn't fit with the kid-friendly brand they've made.

#mineblr #minecraft

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starlightrosari · 7 months

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The idea of being a not totally binary trans guy who’s feminine and androgynous grows more and more as I find myself not being totally whole being nonbinary. I am not mentally well in so many ways and I let this hold me back in my gender so much because how could I feel whole if I’m in a mental hole? I can’t get therapy, my living situation is bad for my mental health, and I’m not building a better future for myself. I know it’s not the biggest concern of mine being closeted, not finding my true style or being the way I wish to look, and not knowing truthfully what my gender is, but I can’t help but feel that’s related to my horrible mental health. I didn’t feel like myself until a few years ago because my whole life was so controlled by the perception other people had of me, and me being an identical twin I was made ultra aware of the painful ways I was viewed by my view being doubled knowing people hardly see a difference between me and my twin. I never knew what it felt like for something to belong to me, always just being pushed into what others expected. I want to feel like myself, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone, and I’m realizing so much of my life was spent either numb and pretending to be someone else disassociating or wishing I was a boy, that I could look like one, and being jealous of people who were trans. I repressed so much how I connected to trans men, being unable to see myself in them because of how much I internalized how unalike I am from men, feeling like I could never be one and I could never see myself as one, so I tried to like being a girl by being feminine when it never felt comfortable. I hated looking at myself then, and I felt like everything was an experiment with style, but I did it because I didn’t see tiny people like me being masculine which was associated with being tall and strong, I was none of that and I knew this because people would reinforce this idea on me all the time. Identifying as nonbinary was a way of freeing myself from the binary extremes that hurt me so badly, and admitting to myself that I never felt like a girl or wanted to be one. It was a way of acknowledging that there was another option for me, and it felt good, but I didn’t connect with it in the same way that I see other trans people feeling so euphoric about themselves, like that they’re right in who they are and found themselves. I still feel so lost and feel more and more dysphoric and disconnected like I did before I came out to myself. The neutral language has felt freeing in some ways, as in I don’t feel dysphoric with how I’m referred, but it still feels strange, and it doesn’t bring me peace like I wanted it too. In a way it feels confining, like I’m still that kid who wanted to be a boy but never felt I could be. It feels limiting rather than limitless. Idk, I’m still figuring it out, but I have felt so much more myself calling myself a boy and expressing my masculine side and masculine yearnings to those I’m close to. I’m so uncomfortable continuing to be in this place of not knowing what’s right for me and not feeling totally comfortable in my body and identity, but I do know everyday my understanding is expanding. Over the past year I’ve been thinking maybe I’m a nonbinary guy, like I want to be masculine and like a man but also feminine and free of expectations of men that I don’t want to be. I even consider if the nonbinary label is even important to me anymore, or if I more so see it as a way of expressing myself. I like so many masculine terms and they bring me so much euphoria, and I’m beginning to believe my connection to them. I want to try using he/they pronouns, and I’m starting to think I might be happy being called “son” and “brother” and may even want to replace the neutral language I use to refer to myself entirely. I still don’t feel binary, and maybe it’s me invalidating myself and holding back from just letting myself be a non conventional gender nonconforming unique kind of boy, or maybe I just really love exploring what being a nonbinary boy is. I don’t know but I want to

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samwisethewitch · 3 years

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An Open Letter to Christian Witches

On this blog, I often champion the idea that witchcraft is a practice, not a religion, and that a witch can practice any religion, provided that religion does not explicitly forbid witchcraft. I still very much believe this, and the point of this post is not to tell Christians that they can’t be witches. However, as a non-Christian witch who has been deeply traumatized by Christianity, I do wish Christian witches would be a bit more mindful of how they show up in witchy spaces.

Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern of self-identifying Christian witches dominating the conversation and centering their own beliefs in spaces dedicated to witchcraft. Now, I wholeheartedly believe that this is unintentional, and most of these Christian witches seem like lovely people. But it’s still deeply frustrating and upsetting to be promised a safe space and support from other witches, only to be preached at.

Or be told that I’m doing witchcraft wrong because my ethics are not the same as someone else’s.

Or be told that I don’t understand Christianity, despite having spent the first two decades of my life fully immersed in it.

Or have my trauma invalidated because, “Not all Christians are like that!”

Or spend the majority of our time together reassuring and comforting a Christian witch who is uncomfortable with the inclusion of pagan and/or occult elements in a ritual.

These are all genuine experiences I have had with Christian witches in 2021. And in every single one of these situations, the Christian witch had a very negative reaction to any kind of constructive criticism or request that they be more mindful of the diverse beliefs and experiences in the space. Any suggestion that their actions may be causing discomfort for others was met with defensiveness, if not straight-up denial. The result is a situation where Christian witches are at the center of every discussion and demand (knowingly or not) coddling or hand-holding from teachers and facilitators, while those of us who are not Christian are left deeply uncomfortable but unable to express that discomfort without upsetting someone or being accused of creating conflict.

And I get it. I really do. Because for most of the people in the above scenarios, this was the first time they encountered a situation where their religion wasn’t the norm. But what I need Christian witches to recognize and be mindful of is that this discomfort of being surrounded by people who do not share your beliefs is something those of us who are not Christian experience every day.

In the Western world, and particularly in the United States, Christianity is a religious hegemony. (A hegemony is a group with total political, social, economic, and/or military dominance in a given area.) Everything in Western society was designed for Christians, to serve a Christian worldview, and to reinforce Christian hegemony. Everything from our government to our business practices to our media reinforces Christian values. For Christians, this creates the sense of comfort and security that comes from being part of the in-group. For non-Christians, it meas being constantly bombarded with someone else’s religion. For former Christians with church-related trauma, it means reliving that trauma constantly.

Here’s a look at an average day in my life as a formerly-Christian pagan with religious trauma. Please note that this is not an exaggeration — this is a description of what I experienced on the day I wrote this post.

I get up and, because I live with Christian family members, I walk past exactly five images of Jesus and/or the Virgin Mary on my way from my bedroom to the front door. On my commute to work, I drive past at least a dozen churches, including the one I used to attend, where my religious trauma occurred. I stop at a red light, and the car in front of me has a bumper sticker with an image of a cross and the message, “If this offends you now, just wait until you see it on judgement day!” I happen to know that these bumper stickers are for sale not at a local church, but at a privately owned, nominally secular business. When I get to work, the woman who greets me at the front gate is wearing a crucifix necklace.

I work in diversity education. When I get to the office, my boss asks me to join the local Interfaith council because I am the only person in our department who isn’t Christian. My current big project at work is trying to get a transgender speaker to visit our organization and help us lead a workshop to work towards amending a history of transphobia in our organization. My boss tells me today the she isn’t sure the speaker I arranged will be approved, because our administration might not think it is in line with our organization’s values. When she says this, I know she means evangelical Christian values. She doesn’t have to spell it out — there’s a chaplain down the hall from our office.

After my lunch break, my coworkers are talking about a church event one of them attended over the weekend. I do not contribute to this conversation. It has been several months since I attended an in-person religious event with people who shared my faith. As I’m leaving the office at the end of the day, I pass a Bible study group that has set up in our recreation area. On my drive home, I pass the funeral home where my grandfather’s memorial service was held earlier this year. The programs for that service had the Lord’s Prayer printed on them. My grandfather was an atheist.

This is my level of exposure to a religion I not only don’t believe in, but have been actively hurt by, on a daily basis. This is my normal. I’ve learned to live with it, tune it out, and self-soothe, because there is no other option.

When I’m finally able to be around other witches, many of them are coming from similar experiences. I am finally in a space where I can be vulnerable, where I can talk about what I really believe, and where I can receive support from like-minded people. But if there is even one Christian witch in the group, it’s highly likely that this space too will be dominated by Christian hegemony.

It’s a noted fact that a person exists within a hegemony, they have very little ability to tolerate challenges to this hegemony due to a lack of exposure. This is the origin of the term white fragility, which sociologist Robin DiAngelo uses to describe the discomfort and defensiveness white people feel when confronted with “racial discomfort” such as being asked to consider racism as a system they are complicit in and benefit from rather than as the actions of lone extremists. White fragility is something I have personally experienced as a white woman involved in antiracist work, and it’s something I have taken years to work through and am still actively working on. Since DiAngelo popularized this term, similar terms have been used to point to similar phenomena in other hegemonic groups, as in the cases of male fragility/fragile masculinity, cishet fragility, and yes, Christian fragility.

I’m not trying to argue that all hegemony is the same, and I am definitely not trying to say that my personal religious trauma is anywhere near the level of pain caused by the mistreatment of Black and brown people by white supremacist society. My point here is simply that being part of the dominant group breeds a very low tolerance for exposure to other groups.

Christian witches are members of a hegemonic group entering a space historically occupied by marginalized people, which creates an imbalance of power. (And yes, you can benefit from hegemony even if you are marginalized in other areas. Identity is multi-faceted. Queer Christians, disabled Christians, Christians of color, and yes, Christian witches still benefit from Christian hegemony.) The only way things are going to get better is if Christians are willing to do the work themselves of building tolerance for religious discomfort. The rest of us can host as many interfaith and secular events as we want, but if Christians aren’t able to tolerate the inclusion of other belief systems, we’ll never truly be on equal footing. Until Christians stop centering the Christian experience, it will continue to dominate interfaith spaces, including witchy spaces.

TLDR: I’m asking Christian witches to be mindful of the privilege they bring into interfaith spaces. I’m asking you to be willing to feel uncomfortable, and to recognize that your discomfort does not invalidate the work your facilitators have put into creating the space and/or program. If you truly can’t stand the discomfort, I’m asking you to politely excuse yourself instead of demanding emotional labor from other witches.

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lacrimaomnis · 2 years

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BRF Reading, 7/2/2022

All this fuss about Camila being called Queen consort really piqued my interest and I'm curious about whose idea it was to let the public know on the Queen's jubilee celebrations.

Before we proceed further into the reading, I can understand the ire of people saying that Charles promised the public that Camilla will be known as Princess Consort as opposed to Queen Consort only to backtrack on his words because how people are supposed to respect a Monarch who can't keep his promises? I understand that people are upset and feel manipulated by Charles and the Clarence House with this sudden announcement, and some even think that Charles is piggybacking the Queen to get this matter done before she passes away because he is too scared to make the announcement himself. I understand that and I will not invalidate any of you who are feeling that way. It is never a good feeling to know that you've been lied at and manipulated for years.

I am of opinion that it really matters not whether Camilla will be Queen or Princess Consort. Whatever her title will be when Charles ascends to the throne, it does not diminish the fact that she is the wife of the current Prince of Wales who will be King and when Charles becomes king, she will be the wife of the King. Well, maybe the prestige of one title is less than another.

Now with that out of the way and I have let you know what mindset I have going into this reading, let's get into what my cards have to say about this matter.

Note: I will not suffer to have people come into my inbox screaming angrily about this whole mess, and anyone who does that will be swiftly dealt with. I am interpreting what my cards say, and if you do not like it -- ie, the cards do not conform to what you think they will say, kindly leave me be.

As written, this is merely a speculation and therefore must be taken with a grain of salt. This speculation is not true until proven otherwise.

A fair warning that this reading veers into the realm of conspiracy theory. Everything here is speculation and I cannot emphasise it enough.

My question is, whose idea was it for Camilla to be known as Queen Consort as opposed to the promised Princess Consort?

Cards drawn: The Fool, Six of Swords, Four of Swords, Ten of Swords, The Hermit

Underlying energy: King of Cups, Nine of Pentacles

Summary: The idea was Charles's, as seen by the underlying energy of this spread. However, this spread also seems to answer the question of why Camilla is going to be called the Queen Consort.

First card: The Fool. This is one of the two major arcana cards in this reading. The Fool is ruled by Uranus, the planet of revolution and new age innovation -- it is the planet of new things coming and banging at your door. This card comes across in several ways:

First, this is the result of the announcement: it shakes things up because it gets people up in arms and this becomes something so divisive that this becomes "The Thing", being talked about when the Platinum Jubilee is supposed to be about The Queen and her seven decades reign.

Second, this is how the public feels about this announcement. Some may consider Charles a fool, or maybe consider The Queen a fool for allowing Camilla the title of Queen Consort. Lastly, this card comes across as things being unfinished, that this is just the beginning of something. I suspect this is the start of Charles paving the way so the public can accept Camilla being called Queen Consort -- think of PR articles and all those stuffy stuffs; though I do not know what he will do considering the energy that comes from this card is very fresh, as if nothing is set in stone.

Second card: Six of Swords. This is the card of travel, change, and movement, which reinforces the message of The Fool: this is a revolution, of things moving very quickly, and a transition that will come ahead. This is the card of taking a new path, of journeying into the unknown, and this announcement is exactly that: it opens up a new path none has ever known before: the public only knows that Camilla will be known as the Princess Consort once Charles becomes king, but with this announcement, things suddenly move into a different direction.

Third card: Four of Swords. This is the card of rest and planning, which seems to suggest to me that this announcement was a long way coming. This tells me that Charles did not suddenly wake up one night and had an epiphany that he wants Camilla to be Queen consort. This tells me that Charles had this planned for a long time, he had been planning this and the time to wait and lay low has come to an end.

Fourth card: Ten of Swords. This is the card of betrayal, of being hurt and left alone, and of loss. This is how the public sees the announcement: it was a betrayal of their trust. For years Clarence House has iterated that Camilla will be HRH The Princess Consort and then suddenly the bomb dropped. But, this card also gets interesting tenfold because of the next card after this.

Fifth card: The Hermit. This is the second of two major arcana cards in this spread. If this card comes up with the Ten of Swords, it often implies that our darkest periods must be passed through alone, but that is not the energy I am getting from this card. The Hermit is associated with Virgo, and Harry is a Virgo -- that is the energy I am getting from this card.

For some reason, this announcement wounds Harry so bad that it triggers something inside him that heralds an end of something. Ten of Swords is a card of ending: of a cycle, of a relationship, and even of a way of being. This seems to tell me that Harry feels this announcement ends a way of being for him, and my mind immediately goes to the Diana 2.0 narrative he and Meghan have been trying to push. This brings to my mind the idea that Diana, Princess of Wales is gone, and this announcement is the final nail in the coffin -- Charles is going to be the King, and Camilla, irrespective of what her title is going to be, is going to take her place as the King's consort and that idea caused Harry to feel that something is genuinely ending for him.

Another idea that came to me as I typed this up is the rumours going around that Harry will attack Camilla in his "memoirs". Perhaps this announcement made it that Harry cannot attack Camilla for being a "homewrecker" and that "she won't be queen ever"? I don't know, but the idea was there.

Underlying energy 1: King of Cups. This is the court card for a Scorpio, and here it represents Charles, a Scorpio. This tells me that this announcement was Charles's idea.

Underlying energy 2: Nine of Pentacles. This is the card of being self-sufficient and self-motivated, which seems to tell me that this announcement amounted entirely to Charles's motivation. This also reinforced that this announcement was not anyone else's idea, it was entirely on Charles.

Conclusion: This was entirely Charles's idea, and it shows. I won't comment on the morality of announcing it on the Queen's Jubilee, but I am also surprised to see Harry come up in this reading.

#reading: brf #g reads

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trashlie · 2 years

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in which i yell some more about stalkyoo (FP 178)

It’s Stalkyoo hours again for me, so you guys know what that means! I’m back here to yell about all the dumb thoughts and connections running around in my head. On the one hand I feel like I only just wrote my Why I Ship Stalkyoo post, but that was done when episode 170 was still a FP episode and we’re now at 178! It’s already been two months and I’m back here with some thoughts and ideas! There will be FP spoilers up through 178 (but I will try to edit this later once 178 is available, for those who are avoiding spoilers).

I was marveling last night about some really interesting developments since I last wrote about why I ship Stalkyoo, especially because they are things that really reinforce this to myself, and while I did touch on things in my FP178 thought dump, I’d like to expand on a lot of my thoughts, and maybe connect them to some earlier points!

Something that’s become more obvious that I’m thinking about is Nol’s motivations when he decided to begin avoiding Shinae. When Shinae is in danger and Kousuke is harping on how he warned Nol to stay with his girlfriend, Nol is the one who makes the deal with Kousuke that he’ll do whatever he asks of him until the end of the year. He easily could have gone off without making this deal with Kousuke, because he was really concerned about Shinae’s safety, so why did he strike up the deal? At this time, it’s not like he thinks that any danger Shinae is in is due to him. Maybe he might think Yui is getting her involved because of him, but I don’t think that’s on Nol’s mind. A consideration I’ve begun to have is: maybe it’s during the formal that Nol decides to back off his friendship with Shinae.

I guess we can argue it was even earlier, when Shinae drew the lines during her break and told him to back off, but we found he did the opposite of that throughout the Kim formal: the makeup and gathering food for her, alleviating her discomfort during the dance with Kousuke, helping her to escape from Alyssa if she wanted. This also might just play into my other favorite point - that Nol is incapable of resisting Shinae. That is, if Shinae needs help, Nol is incapable of ignoring this. It might be that Nol is this way with everyone, but we don’t really get an opportunity to see if that’s true.

What matters isn’t exactly when he came to the decision, but rather why I think he did. I can’t remember how much this has been talked about, but Nol’s line “Is it because you could tell I lied to her from the start???” made me start to think. WHAT exactly was Nol lying about, because he obviously feels guilt over it. The obvious hurt is that she found out about his identity through external means and he shut her out, but when he says “I never wanted to hurt her!” following that, it feels like he’s talking specifically about the hurt he caused from the aforementioned lie.

What is the lie from the start? Was it simply that he was someone named Yeonggi, a bubbly and upbeat happy go-lucky seeming guy? Was it his intentions with befriending her? I don’t think he was lying that he wanted to offer her shoulder to her, so I’m inclined to assume that his lie as more about his identity and how it “invalidated” the build up of their friendship that followed? I was thinking about this because I feel like this is probably the motivation for why Nol began to pull away from her in the first place - he realized that Shinae saw too much and could potentially see through his facade and uncover his lies, but also, I think he already sensed that he was growing to care too much for her.

I want to note here: I don’t think Nol sees Shinae in a romantic light at this time. When I say he felt himself growing to care too much, it was because he found himself drawn to helping her at every opportunity and knew this was dangerous for him. Considering the Kim formal takes place the night before the CSATS, Nol already knows he’s planning to follow Rand’s footsteps and go to Oxford. He already knows he has no intention of being in Korea this time next year. If things work out for him, he’s going to get out of here, and leave everything and everyone behind. And that becomes difficult if he grows too attached to his friends.

I don’t think he avoids Soushi and Dieter in quite the same way as he does Shinae - he shows up unannounced at Dieter’s place when Shinae is tutoring them - but I don’t think that means he doesn’t care about them or anything. I think Shinae just unexpectedly becomes a risk factor for him. Even before the hospital balcony scene, even before the formal, Nol finds comfort in Shinae’s presence when he’s with Kousuke, and I think we can see a softness towards her develop. Looking at episode 28, I always wonder what Nol’s expression after he covers sleeping Shinae with his coat was about - he smiles at her before looking uncomfortable and then idk... forlorn? Certainly sad. I couldn’t understand why he would make that expression, but now I wonder if maybe it’s just that he enjoys this - their friendship is fun, they have fun banter, there’s a similar playful wavelength. I don’t think those are fake parts of Nol’s personality; perhaps exaggerated, but ultimately I think those elements of their developing friendship were real. He was having fun and found himself starting to care about her - and it’s bad because he knows he’s going to leave, he knows that none of this can last, he knows that she is friends with a persona he’s using and that if she she knew all of it was a lie, then he’d lose all of this.

Anyway, I bring this up, because I think the entire conversation Nol is having with Lil Buddy (lol) is really about him admitting things he’s denied, or maybe simply ignored, to himself. Like, while on the surface he’s rationalizing to Lil Buddy, what he’s really doing is arguing with his own guilty conscience. I’ve said it over and over that Nol avoids his friends, and especially Shinae, because he knows his resolve will crumble. They mean too much. But more than that, I think while he has been telling himself this is how things have to be, because they’re all better off without him. Nol denies himself his friends because he thinks he makes things worse for them. I’m sure his self-worth factors in and there’s a feeling of not deserving them, and especially Shinae’s persistent, sincere friendship, but ultimately Nol forced himself to believe he has to sever his ties, and doing so hurts people he cares about. In doing that, he’s probably telling himself lies. He already believes nothing will ever change, so he convinced himself he was a fool for thinking he could have friends, that he was capable of helping people.

But he knows the truths he’s denying. He knows he’d rather be with his friends. He knows they’ve made his life better - that’s probably why it’s so hard, because the good times illuminate how bad the bad has become. He knows they aren’t people he can just easily cast off no matter how hard he tries, and this is especially true of Shinae, who he befriended wearing a mask, who he pushed with no intention of lingering, who he grew to care about more than he intended and found he came to me mean more to, as well.

“I never wanted to hurt her!” Nol was left dry-heaving, probably having a panic attack after Shinae confronted him and he made himself hurt her. We already knew it was hard for Nol, because his mask kept slipping until it finally dropped and he finally reached out for her, but I have no doubts he continued to lie to himself, to tell him that he needed to do this, that it was the only option he had. But the truth continued to nag at him. When he saw the messages from his friends in his spam messages, the first thing he did was start drinking, to drown out the guilt and the yearning.

But now he’s being honest with himself. I think this is an admission he’s been avoiding this whole time, something he’s been denying, desperately pretending isn’t true, to make it “easier” for him, but he can’t keep denying that now. Not after hearing what Shinae said.

I think there’s something absolutely clever about what Shinae did, because she knew that Nol would continue to avoid her even if he cornered him. In fact, it might’ve been worse if she’d cornered him, and she might’ve gotten hurt again by his avoidance. I once noted that there seems to be a thing about conversations had while not facing each other - truths are revealed that might not come out as easily as if they were face to face (when Nol calls Shinae, he says “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am the villain”, which he clearly believes more than Shinae does) and this continues with that same thought. Even if Shinae had gotten Nol to sit and listen to her, she might not have been able to say everything she did face to face, or at least not the way she did. We know for her to be so forthright and honest with her feelings isn’t easy, so while it was a clever way for Shinae to reach Nol when he afforded her no opportunities, it was also advantageous to her, to be able to say what she really wanted him to hear.

At this point, Shinae still doesn’t know if their friendship was genuine to Nol, if it meant anything to him, if any of it was real. Though he hugged her when she suggested everything was a lie, what does that really tell her? It confirms nothing. Was the hug an apology, comfort after hurting her, etc. Though as readers we have a better idea, Shinae doesn’t. And despite this, she continues to reach for him and believe in him. She even says so much herself, that it was probably all a ruse, would he accept that what we had was real. To her, there’s a chance it never actually meant anything to him - but still she persists, because it was real to HER and because she still came to care about him, and now that she knows more about what he’s been through, what he’s endured so alone, and why someone like him would be drawn to someone like her, she wants to be for him what he was for her.

Like, I’m still hung up on that by the way, that even though she thinks there’s a chance none of this is reciprocal, he still came to mean so much to her that she can’t help but want to be the kind of friend he was to her, and more importantly, to draw him out of the darkness. Because Yeonggi was the sun and without him everything is dark - he himself is cast in darkness, and though she describes herself as a gloomy raincloud, maybe she can shed a little warmth.

Hearing that Shinae still considers him a friend, and that he impacted her life, almost breaks him, and he uses that opportunity to try to break away and yet, like always, he’s drawn back to her and now we can really sit and mull over things. Nol thinks of his mothers words, about being unafraid to do what is right, and he has to finally acknowledge the truths that he so carefully avoids - that Shinae is not just a person he can throw away, that hurting her is wrong, that leaving her hanging is unfair. Maybe he intends to go back and offer closure, so that he can still sever ties but without left wondering? I’m not sure. But by the time she’s overhearing him with Lil Buddy, I think his guilty conscience is breaking him down.

There’s something so important about Shinae overhearing this, because not only is he saying something she badly needed to hear, but it feels like such an admission to himself, that he cannot keep denying it.

Shinae is special to him. She is one of the few people who sees him when he feels invisible, who treats him as someone separate of the family that makes him feel so worthless. In fact, SHE doesn’t treat him as worthless, and probably made him want to feel that feeling more and more. He probably drew away because she makes him feel something he thinks cannot possibly last and how can he let himself grow accustomed to that feeling of comfort, the feeling of someone who enjoys your presence? She is, quite literally, the reason he is still here at all, because saving her saved him. That reveal, alone, I think really set a tone for their level of importance - because just as important as Nol became to her, Shinae was important to him. Every time he tried to pull away, she pulled him back in because of her importance, because how much she means.

When he says it out loud, he’s finally admitting the truth to himself. Shinae isn’t just anyone - she’s special. And whether or not that’s romantic, it illuminates just how important they are to each other. And for Shinae, hearing this out loud, it’s a confirmation she desperately sought ought: that it was all real to him, that it all meant something to him, that he wasn’t leading her on, he cares about her, too.

I think even if they don’t get to talk in the next episode (but god I hope they do because this has been drawn out SO LONG and if someone were to interrupt them I’d be so frustrated) I think just knowing this is a good start for Shinae, although I’m not sure she’d be content leaving it there. I think there’s a good chance she might call out to him (although that risks him running away again, doesn’t it?). Maybe he’ll continue to monologue, continuing his thought that he didn’t want to hurt her but he’s scared that her proximity to him will hurt her further? At any rate, I am READY for them to talk! I know the most important things that have been conveyed, but Nol still owes Shinae an apology, and they still deserve some kind of reconciliation. There’s no way he will tell her this night what he’s gone through or why he did what he did, but some kind of understanding would be good, an apology, a reassurance?

I also think it’s funny how Shinae reacts to Nol’s admission that he really liked her the same way she reacts when Dieter says that she loves Yeonggi - that quiet shock of something that she wasn’t expecting. In the last few months, she’s been navigating such complex relationships she’s unused to - the fallout with Maya and beginning again, opening up to Minhyuk and sharing her feelings more, exploring friendship with Dieter on who she’s developing a crush, and exploring what Yeonggi means to her. Aside from Minhyuk, Shinae hasn’t had a friend she loved, or a friend who treated her like she was special. It’s only been Minhyuk. To face this with someone new, with who she’s been through so much, must be so startling, and it’s all the more reason they need to talk. Again, even from a non-romantic perspective, their importance to each other is now clear to each other. He knows, she knows (though he doesn’t yet know she does). How are they supposed to avoid that, now? How are they supposed to ignore that?

God, their development has been so wonderful ;~; I think they are still a while off from romance - again, I don’t think Nol has really considered Shinae in that way, although I think it’s likely the stirring is there. Rather, I think his admission acknowledges that he wants to continue what they have, and indulge in that friendship. He cares - SO MUCH - and it’s always shown, but now, to speak it into the universe, to acknowledge that it’s real, and hopefully that he needs to stop denying it. Please let this be the moment Nol caves and realizes he cannot throw away people who care, that he DESERVES their care. Please let this be the moment he realizes he is helpless to oppose Shinae.

(I think, though, it could be the start. Admitting that she’s special could lead him to seeing her in a new light eventually. Nol is nowhere ready for love - his fake relationship is a mess and he’s off to jail lmao and he’s just struggling. But struggling with someone who cares for you, who makes you feel special. That sure can grow some feelings, can’t it? I’ve always said the seeds have been sown, it will just take a little time for them to sprout. But narratively, I think there is room for it still. I still think that the potential pairing that has seen the most development and foundational building is Nol and Shinae and this could lead there in time.)

#I Love Yoo #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #ILY Brainrot #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Yeonggi #just because he counts as a character in this instance #just back in a 'god please i want to see them make up' place again you know as one does lol #tagging this in a non-spoilery way is so hard lmao #i have so many things to howl about okay?#i want someone to pls howl with me i am IN MY FEEEEELS

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daughterofanarcissistwoman · 3 years

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Deconstructing heavy amounts of gaslighting/brainwashing from abuse is like leaving a cult... It can induce a feeling of derealization brain fog that can be quite terrifying to the unprepared. It feels as if you’re “losing your grip on reality” but really you’re deconstructing the false reality you’ve been controlled into believing. It brings shock.. that someone could be that calculated and cruel, especially someone you convinced yourself “loved” you. Time away from abusers will expose the layers of gaslighting: the manipulative lines of denial/minimization/invalidation they used on you come to mind without their reinforcement of them - the trauma bond starts to fall apart. It’s becoming increasingly clear to me how much my idea of “love” was toxically mixed with fear, with longing for validation and attention, with guilt and obligation. I was the most trauma bonded out of all the children because I was abused the most, and a lot of that was simply because I was physically the smallest in a house full of rageaholics. I dissociated constantly to deal with the fear of being around them, knowing at any moment they could hurt me just cause they felt like it. I learned my role in life is “punching bag” and carried this into all my relationships, even friendships. Now I’m reparenting that little girl and teaching her a sense of dignity and value. Before I learned to hide, before I learned repression, suppression, people pleasing, perfectionism. Before I learned fear and shame. I deserved love. I have always deserved love and always will. I deserved a loving, happy childhood. I didn’t do anything to deserve what happened to me. I don’t deserve to suffer. I am not uniquely bad. There are many stories throughout history of people who have not been like their birth families. I was so parentified by my parents at times that they made me feel like I was abandoning them by having my own life.

#cptsd vent #narcissist mother #childhood trauma #inner child healing #reparenting #developmental trauma #gaslighting #attachment trauma #family scapegoating

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parachutingkitten · 3 years

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“Pixane is a lazy ship cuz they’re both robots”

This argument has crossed my path multiple times over the course of this week, and I think it’s interesting. Certainly, it’s not completely invalid, it does seem pretty basic and cliched to have them like each other just because their robots. That’s kind of surface level isn’t it? And there’s certainly an argument to be made for Robot/Human ships being more compelling and impactful (I would also add messy and inherently more difficult for a kids show to tackle) and who knows? Maybe it would have been really interesting if they did it that way. But, Pixane being my OTP, I feel a need to defend not just the ship, but suggest that maybe them liking each other ‘just because they’re robots’ is a lot deeper than you think, and a pretty damn compelling dynamic, especially in the ninjago universe.

Something we often forget is that, for a while, Zane was the only nindroid. Period. He was it. He has a whole support group reinforcing that he’s still human and still loved, and just as valid a person as anyone else, but he has no one to even try to talk to about the struggle of being a machine. And at the time that he goes to New Ninjago City, Pixal is the only other droid even in existence (unless you technically want to count Echo, but he’s not really relevant to this discussion). Zane has been literally the only person like him his entire life, so when he sees Pixal - which let me remind you, he was not prepared for in the slightest - it absolutely makes sense that he would be as star struck as he is. He thinks he’s the only one, and yet here is this droid, very clearly being a droid, with at least similar level of sentience as him. Of course he’s going to want to talk to her, and understand her, and protect her, and help her grow. Her mere existence must seem like a semi-miracle to him.

This is why he goes to such great lengths to try and save her, that first moment of shock in seeing her probably left a deep impact. Zane sees a lot of himself in her, and those similarities are strong enough that he feels the need to fight for her humanity when the rest of the team dismisses her. Even if he has to give up half his heart, having another person even remotely like himself, is worth it. Pixal, even after getting the heart, doesn’t feel fully comfortable being human, she doesn’t feel like she fits in- Zane’s exact struggle leading to his true potential, and the reason why he’s the perfect one to coach her through these feelings as she discovers them. This is something that carries even into season 8 when she doubts her decision to leave the computer, which Zane once again talks her through.

On the flip side, Pixal is what gives Zane confidence in his being a robot. Especially since his dad died, he has no technological connections in his life. He has no one to share that aspect of himself with until Pixal (and Borg) come along. Zane is a lot more in tune with his human half because he thought he was one a good chunk of his life. Zane is much more comfortable pretending to be human, so much so that in season 4 he has a whole existential crisis about his being a machine with replaceable parts. And wouldn’t you know, Pixal is the one who gets him through it. We also see hints of this idea in season 8 with his hologram cloak so he can switch appearances- coincidentally the season immediately following Pixal no longer being a permanent fixture of his systems. He’s lost Pixal as that anchor of confidence, so he turns back to his human appearance to try and make up for it.

They’re not just two robots shipped together because they’re two robots. Zane is a human who happens to be made of metal, and Pixal is a robot who happens to have emotion. They complement each other, they strengthen each other, and they reflect each other’s weaknesses.

...plus they’re just so damn adorable.

#ninjago #pixane #zane julien #pixal borg #ninjago zane #ninjago pixal #parachuterants

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dylanobrienisbatman · 3 years

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What do u think of the line “i love every part of you alina, even the part of you that loved him” I constantly see this as for a reason ppl say mal is horrible and honestly I’m conflicted about it as well, i like the line but it feels backhanded like alina should be ashamed of having feelings for the darkling. But i honestly want to hear your thoughts on it

Oh hi anon! I kinda got a little long winded here, but I hope you all enjoy my little meta lol.

Tbh I think people will take any line by Mal and twist and it warp it into a reason he’s a horrible person. Not you specifically, but ‘Mal antis’ (I sort of hate the term antis but it’s what we’ve got to work with lol) in general will take any line said by Mal and try to use it as evidence that he’s actually a bad person who tries to make Alina hate herself, and I think that’s just absolutely not the case at all. I honestly (no hate obviously) think it’s the exact opposite of what you’re saying, actually.

That line is honestly one of my faves, and I like it so much better than what they did in the show, where he said “you don’t owe me an explanation”, for a number of reasons.

That line comes after they’ve been recaptured, and after the darkling tried to use their physical relationship to shame her and make Mal doubt her. He had seen them kiss and he was mocking her. “Did you tell him how willingly you gave yourself to me?” He is trying to sow doubt between them, but he is also trying to make her feel ashamed. And he succeeds in part.

“A wave of shame rushed through me and the glowing light faltered. The darkling laughed.”

But he failed in the other part. He did not sow doubt in Mal about Alina. So when we get to the line you’re mentioning, Alina is approaching Mal to apologise for what the Darkling said, and to apologise for falling victim to the Darkling in that way, and she likely believes that Mal is doubting her, because that was so clearly the Darkling’s intention. She is trying to apologise for being lured in by a powerful man who manipulated and groomed her and had a physical relationship with her, who then used that relationship to shame her. The context of that scene, specifically the way Alina is feeling, is what makes that line the opposite of what you said. Mal isn’t trying to make her feel ashamed, he is seeing that she does feel ashamed, and he is reassuring her that he doesn’t think less of her for what happened at the little place, and that he loves the parts of her that she doesn’t even love about herself.

The next line really reinforces that idea. She says “I hate that I ever thought... that I ever-”, and he stops her again, to say: “do you blame me for every mistake I made?”

He redirects her self hatred and shame and brings up his own mistakes. He is saying “you love me, even these parts of me I’m not proud of, parts of me I feel ashamed of, right? So why would you think I would feel any different about you.” And he is also saying, look you didn’t see what he really was, and I see how that has suddenly made you doubt yourself and feel stupid and insecure, but sometimes we don’t see. Sometimes things happen and we make mistakes. And he doesn’t try to tell her it wasn’t a mistake or to invalidate the way she is feeling in that moment, he is simply telling her that even these parts of her that she hates, even the parts of her she’s ashamed of and can’t stomach, he loves them.

He isn’t saying “oh it’s okay that you loved him before I can look past that” he is saying “I love all of you, every part of you. I see that you are feeling shame and guilt right now, and doubting that I can love you because of it, but I love all of you, even the parts of yourself you hate.” He is reassuring her (the day before he believes he is going to die, mind you) that her mistakes and her choices and this perceived weakness, and specifically her shame in the romantic feelings she had for this version of the darkling that she knew at the little palace, that she sees in herself don’t change a thing about how he feels about her. They don’t make her less than, they don’t make her unloveable, and he is also telling her that she shouldn’t hate herself or feel ashamed because what happened wasn’t her fault.

He loves her, even the dark parts of her. He loves her, even the parts of her that she is ashamed of. Which he then goes on to show throughout the rest of the trilogy, over and over again.

#malina #Mal x Alina #Alina starkov #malyen oretsev #mal oretsev #shadow and bone #meta

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amy-oswin-lovegood · 2 years

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It's hard to believe this rewatch has come to an end! I'm so thankful to peacestew, parallel-univers, chillerhjemmesmiley, emziess, and everyone else who organized and contributed. When I was debating whether or not to participate in September, December felt so impossibly far away. I'd already made the Skam + English posts before I even knew this was happening, but I didn't know if I wanted to do anything else. Then I had an idea for the first clip, so I thought I'd at least do that and see if I wanted to do more later. And somehow that turned into making a gifset for each clip over three months. I'm honestly pretty proud that I was able to keep up with this, especially since I was figuring out how to make gifs as I went. I've been able to try out different layouts and effects and things and I've learned a lot compared to when I was applying edits to each frame manually on gimp. Anyway, here's some final rambling thoughts about Skam sesong 3. Thanks again to everyone!

First and foremost for me, there's the way the show deals with mental illness. Isak's ableism is subtly reinforced through small comments throughout, and then in a big way by Sonja's outburst. But then in the last couple of episodes, these views are dismantled by Magnus and Even and even Sonja, leaving you with the message that mental illness does not define or invalidate a person, that it does not stop them from deserving love or respect. Even's arc has helped me work through so much internalized ableism, both due to society and to my own insecurities. Over the last five years, I've felt my experiences start to line up with Even's more and more. Of course there are the manic and depressive episodes themselves, but also the frustration at feeling monitored, the dread of being a burden, the fear of hurting everyone else, and most recently the loneliness in watching friends graduate while being left behind. But seeing these experiences from an outside perspective has also helped me work through them in better ways. This show gave me comfort when I felt scared and powerless, and hope when I felt like I couldn't live with this anymore. Its message that people can still love you, that you are not crazy or broken, has carried me through many scary conversations when I felt people needed to know about my bipolar.

I've not struggled with my sexuality to the same degree that Isak does, but his relationship with his parents is something that feels very real to me. The complexities of having a parent whose mental illness causes you pain. Reconciling past hurtful actions with new attempts to make amends. Parents always fighting. The resentment for never getting a full apology, just sweeping mistakes under the rug. The desperation of I don't want to go back there I can't go back there please don't make me go back there. The longing for love and acceptance from the same person that you can't even trust to comfort you. Isak's parents may not be the focus of his character, but there's something really relatable about this being another thing he has to deal with on top of everything else, another problem that no one knows much about. Something that's always lurking there unaddressed, that you've learned to talk around and avoid. It's likely that a lot of other problems stem from these broken relationships in one way or another, but they feel impossible to fix.

Anyone who's heard me talk about Skam knows that I think it's amazing and has sat through at least a small amount of rambling about how they did whatever aspect just right. But even though it's been really important to me over the years, the only person I've ever actually shown it to is my sister. Because giving someone Skam, specifically season 3, feels like saying this is what it's like. This is what I'm like. And that can be terrifying, but at the same time that closeness has helped me explain things when I didn't know how, both to myself and to others. I'm so grateful to everyone involved in bringing this show to life, from the creator and production team, to the cast and crew, to the fans who translated and uploaded every single piece of content. Skam told real stories with real teenagers in the real world in a way I've never seen before or since. Stumbling upon this show on a sleepless night when I felt scared and anxious and powerless and alone changed my life for the better, and for that it will always hold a special place in my heart.

#skam

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ilikedetectives · 3 years

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Thanks for saying it. As a trans woman I was side-eyeing that hashtag the moment I read the “movement explained” post last year saying this:

That wording (from the most prominent voice!) directly implies that there’s an acceptable criteria for womanhood and women outside those criteria don’t count. This kind of thinking always ends up targeting gnc cis women too because they’re not the “right” women, no surprise it happened here. (Apparently a gay cis man is more worth defending to them than gnc and sapphic women too?)

Plus a quick google search would easily tell them Kassandra and Eivor were envisioned as “masculine” as they are now even before the male options were designed? Official ACV concept art for Eivor’s character design even states lady Eivor was designed first and that male Eivor was based off of HER. But sure they’re “shells” based on men 🙄

Looks like they’ve chosen to “highlight, appreciate and support” the fact that queer, gnc women aren’t real women because these women are simply men’s “shells” for being masculine and queer.

Oh I’m so glad that you see this and stay tf away. Aren’t these the same breed that were sooooo outraged after reading and citing that Forbes article by Jason Schreier last year, “OMG Kassandra and Aya/Amunet originally were supposed to be the protagonist, I’m so oUTraGEd and feel rOBbeD that Ubisoft took this from us”? You’d think with all the devs that they are good friends with, they should know by now that Kassandra and f!Eivor were designed first in mind, then the male counterparts were added AFTER being forced by higher-ups and marketing. The Montreal writers keep having to reassure people that everything about Eivor is intentional and they have always intended that Eivor is a female. The first name alone, Eivor, is a female name. I think the devs already know they’d have to deal with idiots, so they added Varinsdottir in her last name (dottir means “daughter”), but I think the devs still underestimate their level of stupidity. They sure are attentive to plot details when it involves their brotherhood though, but women? *wheeze* They love AC2 sfm but it didn’t take them until last year to realize how dirty Aya/Amunet treated. Nobody paused when Origins was announced to say, but Amunet statue? Pleaseeee *wheeze* For them to go around saying that Kass and f!Eivor are just “shells” based on men and now, practically calling the devs lazy because making them masculine to save time/effort in development time really shows their true colors. If a woman isn’t slim-af-and-only-attracted-to-cishet men, then they’re not women. gnc, queer, trans women? I don’t need to take a guess to see what they view these women as. These fake feminists don’t find it disrespectful that Kass and f!Eivor are pushed aside for the male shells to take the spotlight, but they find Kass and f!Eivor being masculine and queer disrespectful. Someone please turn on “Send in the Clowns'' for me, I prefer the Judi Dench version.

You know what I find hypocritical about these fake feminist breeds? When they call for more female assassins content, they never once invalidate their beloved male protags, “We’re not here to cancel m!Eivor/Alexios/Bayek/Jacob/Arno, we just want more of f!Eivor/Kassandra/Amunet/Evie/Elise/Aveline”, but now that they have more backers, they immediately turn around and dismiss the only two AAA female protags as women because they’re “too masculine, like men.” That’s right! f!Eivor walking like a man and both Kass and f!Eivor wear male armors and are attracted to women automatically dismiss their existence as gnc, queer women. Being a masculine, queer woman somehow exempt them both from sexism because these two are just “men’s shells”? What kinda Isu drugs are they on? Now I wish f!Eivor had a true buff Viking body in her vanilla state (I know there’s muscles mod by amisthiosintraining and I, but still), because what else are these fake feminists gonna trash her on? f!Eivor is a shell for m!Eivor? *wheeze* What could’ve been said was, “I want a female-protag-only game because then the devs can focus all their time and effort on her story, for her” or “Ubisoft should give the devs more time, resources, and creative freedom to give players more historical context of the struggles the female protags have to deal with, compared to male protags”. For example: a side quest with Aspasia as she deals with how sexist people (surprise, women can be sexist too) were towards her as perhaps the most educated, influential woman in Athens at the time. Or how Kassandra had to fight her way to be allowed to compete in the Olympics. That’s all that’s needed to be said. There’s nothing wrong with asking/wanting a feminine female protag who is gender-conforming, but it says a lot about their true view of women when they drag gnc and queer women down to parade their idea of a superior woman.

But what did these fake feminists choose to “highlight, appreciate and support” instead? Oh that’s right, disregarding both Kassandra and f!Eivor as inferior women, because them fakers don’t deemed masculinity and queerness as the aUThenTIc female experience they want to play as. You know what’s worse? Pitting these female characters together to rate how “feminine” each of them are to deem which ones are more “real” as a woman. Can you imagine them doing that to the male protags? Knowing full well that the devs’ hands were tied when it comes to creative freedom when making Kassandra and f!Eivor, but still go around and shit on the devs for being “lazy”, while dismissing Kassandra f!Eivor experience as women because of their gnc and queerness. What kinda Beta Sigma (BS) is this? Oh I think I know the answer: reinforcing their ideas of what they find acceptable for their version of a woman. Honestly, it’s not the first time gnc, queer women are shit on in AC, remember that cursed DLC from Odyssey? Yea. I expect nothing more from Ubisoft-certified fans. Watch, if we somehow get a female-lead AAA game next installment and she happens to be queer, gnc, and godforbid to their fEMinISt standards, she happens to be trans as well, these fakers would most likely scream, “We support women. We want the REAL woman experience”. But if she happens to conform into their fEMinISt standards, you’ll get to hear how she’s their most favorite protag since Ezio cuz she’s a “real woman”. Again, nothing wrong with gender-conforming, feminine women, but using them as THE superior example, this fuckery/fakery reeks.

One last general tip from Doctor Who, “Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward.” Look closely and you’ll see what those advantages and rewards are.

p/s: Didn’t Ubisoft CEO just appoint his family member(s) to be in charge, while there were also discussion on how the new directors are no better than the sexist, racist ones that were fired/let-go? Sounds to me like it’s business as usual again. Or us Vietnamese have a saying, “It’s easier for rivers and mountains to change than human’s nature to even budge” (giang sơn dễ đổi, bản tính khó dời). I find it so ironic that “gaslight gatekeep girlboss” is trending on my dash.

#I'm no Pythia but I saw this light years away #handsomejaclyn #f!Eivor #Eivor #Kassandra #ac valhalla #ac odyssey #aya #amunet #evie frye #elise #ac origins #ac syndicate #aveline #ac liberation #ac unity #Cisterhood #misogynistic feminists

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coconutgirl2 · 3 years

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Ragnarök Theories

guys i took the liberty to watch the trailer step by step, i am full of theories before the release of the new season. bc I am kinda obsessed with this...

- the trailer starts with Magne in this world where he is reunited with Isolde, who notifies him that other gods will arrive (among these Iman and the man who makes the hammer or the other new girl), as it is in the scriptures, I see this meeting as the image that the gods take (since Isolde means a lot to Magne), to make him see the things he has to do, all the work he has ahead of him. But then we are shown this woman spraying him with a powder, I connect this as a real awakening or gives him the ability perhaps to see in others his possible allies.

After this encounter Magne wakes up and we see a small introduction of what is happening in Edda.

- We see how Magne is on top of a mountain. i have a theory of Magne passing a last test to finally get his hammer, this is connected later when the hammer is being forged and you see how a hand leaves a feather in what appears to be like a powder and the material from which Mjölnir is made.

- Magne, Laurits and his mother visit the cemetery, from how the costumes and scenes look someone dies, I'm leaning it may be Magne's mother, why because later on we see how a car speeds by and Magne dodges it taking his mother with him to save her or it may be one of the final scenes where a car explodes (I'm not sure).

- Magne crying breaks my heart, something very strong happened.

- the bird, the alcon flying may imply that he was already given directions to follow (relates to the first theory).

- Magne meets Iman, I guess it's been a while ( truth be told this scene throws me off a bit, but I love it).

- Magne designing Mjölnir, this part is magnificent, I feel that it has a lot of emotional charge the fact that Magne understands who he is and will not give up with everything that is happening in the world.

- We have Wotan getting up, when he is an invalid man, I think he was faking all this time and in this he took the opportunity to learn from his enemy, going unnoticed by having the appearance of a sick old man (very smart and very well played). We then see these four people gathered at a table, from the beginning we establish who will be their allies (something curious about this shot is that Iman is wearing a hospital gown, it left me a little confused, but it may be that she is the new guardian - nurse - of Wotan after Wenche left at the end of the first season).

- one of Magne's scenes with Iman, where she is flirting gives me years of life, ✨❤️.

- the scene in the Jutul house, this seems to sweat immediately after Vidar's encounter with Magne, Fjor lays down his hatchet, meaning he will not participate on his family's side, this related a lot to the scenes of the protests in front of the Jutul factory.

- Laurits is playing the double agent, the truth is this character leaves you with a lot of uncertainty in the sense that we don't know in which side he is playing finally, which fills a lot of intrigue the whole narrative of the series.

- Saxa sitting in the office that seems to be his father's, remember that the barrels were exposed by Magne and Vidar must now face the law for this crime, Saxa can take the place of his father while he evades the law by taking the form of Fjor.

- the scene where Wotan tells Magne that everything he is doing has a price, I am afraid of what can happen. followed by the shot of this mysterious man who is the one who forges in hammer, I searched about his character and the name I found is Harry, he can be a god like Magne or just a powerful ally. then we can see the scene of Iman and Harry boxing and she seems to be giving him a good beating.

- the scene of the bikers on the mountain reinforces the idea of Magne looking for the tools for his hammer.

- the glass in the church, this has me fully intrigued....

- Fjor (Vidar, according to one of the previous theories) beating Harry, I deduce that it is him because of the short hair and the place looks dark and there is a yellow light that could be the fire.

- Gry crying, perhaps because of her father's death, Fjor comforting her.

- Iman next to Magne and Gry in front of Jutul Industries, Magne is seen with more muscle 😏

- Magne fighting with Vidar, I'm afraid of this scene.

- Magne using his powers and Mjölnir.

#magne ragnarok #magne seier #david stakston #ragnarok 2020 #ragnarok netflix #ragnarok season 2 #Ragnarök #thor odinson #norse mythology #theories #this is driving me crazy #2 days left #Iman Reza #laurits seier #saxa jutul #wotan #wenche

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dwellordream · 3 years

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“…The common work of American pioneer children has become an essential story of frontier life. Less well known or acknowledged is that gender boundaries were often disregarded in the course of this experience. Daniel worked not only at tasks with his father but also at those normally seen as women’s work. To help his mother, he dyed cloth, carried water from the spring, helped to nurse the younger children, and cooked. His work was indeed diverse as he did what was needed with little complaint—or so he remembered years later when writing his memoir. Then at fifteen, he was separated from all of it—from his physical labor and from his pious parents (his mother’s favorite word was “wicked”). She was hardly indulgent of him, either in the work he was required to do or in the virtues he was expected to display while doing them.

Many boys did female work. Henry Clarke Wright, who became an outspoken educator and a radical abolitionist, spent his childhood helping his stepmother by babysitting, and much more. “He cleaned, he cooked, he washed.” In upstate New York, where his family lived in the early nineteenth century, he also did more masculine work “riding the horses, yoking and driving the oxen, bringing in the cows, harnessing and all the rest of the hard labor of the frontier farmer.” After his farming experience, Wright was left to become an apprentice in April 1814. Lonely, “home-sick” and with a “feeling of wretched- ness,” Wright learned to grow up fast. He also learned his own mind and how later to defend his extremely independent and unpopular views.

The American boys of the early republic grew early into independence. They were neither indulged nor coddled. They were given some say in the objects of their labor and, when possible, free time to play. But the children were also seen as “little citizens”—persons with capacity as well as potential. Some visitors were shocked by the results, but others were impressed. One Englishwoman observed, “You will see a little being that has not seen the sun make one circle of seasons, lay hold on a toy, not to cram it in his mouth and look stupidly at it, but to turn it curiously over, open it if he can, and peep in with a look as wise as that of a raven peeping into a marrow bone. One mark of early observation and comprehension never failed to excite my wonder. Little creatures feed themselves very early, and are trusted with cups of glass and china, which they grasp firmly, and carry about the rooms carefully, and deposit unbroken.”

There is, perhaps, a degree of exaggeration in such observations, finding the precocious engineer within the child not yet a year old. But in light of current findings by cognitive psychologists about the “scientist in the crib,” perhaps it is less a matter of exaggeration than a willingness to see even young children as more fully capable of independent thought and action than most Americans are accustomed to today. Americans at this time assumed that children needed less supervision and direction. This was true for girls as well as boys. By the time she was six years of age, Caroline Stickney (later Creevey), who grew up to be a nature writer, was expected to go to the doctor alone after she had fallen and severely injured her arm. It turned out to be broken.

“Mother was too busy to accompany me and there was nobody else. Besides children were taught to stand upon their own feet in these days.” Caroline’s regular tasks included bringing the cow to pasture in the morning and retrieving her at night, and, like Ulysses Grant, she was able from an early age to roam freely in the woodland that this future botanical enthusiast loved to explore and whose trees she climbed regardless of risk. At ten, she was allowed to ride the family horse; when she asked her father for directions to find a certain path, he made clear to her that she could find her own way.

Anna Howard Shaw had a more extreme experience, as her father sent his young family from Lawrence, Massachusetts, to which the family had migrated from England after Thomas Shaw’s bankruptcy, to the north woods of Michigan. There the children and their mother were left alone to establish her father’s claim to the 360 acres he had acquired, while he remained East to settle his affairs. Shaw’s mother, overwhelmed by grief and disbelief at the raw and trying circumstances, collapsed emotionally and was “practically an invalid.” This left the enterprise entirely to the five children. Barely twenty years old, Shaw’s oldest brother, James, was in charge. Anna was recruited to lay floorboards on the earth and frame windows and doors.

When even James left because he needed an operation that took him back to Massachusetts, the young children were left to fend for themselves, through a variety of “nerve-wracking” conditions and winters that “offered few diversions and many hardships.” Anna eventually took advantage of opportunities for schooling that led to her unflinching grasp at independence as a professional woman. In later life, Shaw was a crusader for women’s suffrage, and managed to become both a medical doctor and a minister. This kind of brutal induction into resourcefulness and independence, while not representative, was also not uncommon.

Girls and boys matured early, and Tocqueville, for one, believed that American children did not have or need an adolescence. The very young child, given the right to handle glassware or crockery, is a child invested with the capacity to act responsibly. Dr. Spock would note more than a century later that such confidence acknowledged that a child is eager to do “grown up things,” like feeding herself in the same way as the adults around her. And early work laid the basis for later habits. Anna Shaw noted that work had “always been my favorite form of recreation.”

The English commentator who saw precocious infant explorers poking around their toys was observing a different model of child development, one that was becoming as alien to middle- and upper-class Europeans of the nineteenth century as it is to us today. While European children of the middle classes were being treated as precious objects of solicitude, needing careful protection, American children who later became presidents, doctors, writers, and reformers were exposed to adult work and responsibility. And they were far less supervised. It was not only that class was more fluid in the United States in this period but that the specific expectations about children remained more fluid than in Europe.

Later in the nineteenth century, middle-class Americans, too, would begin to separate children from adult activities and treat them, as we usually do today, as fragile beings who needed special toys and risk-proof furnishings. But during this initial period when American society was being formed and the culture was laying down historical tracks, children were much more integrated into adult activities and given both more responsibility and more freedom. Most Americans in the first half of the nineteenth century viewed their children’s early maturity as natural, an expression of both the helping qualities they required in the young and beliefs about children’s abilities to be useful from an early age. It was a widespread phe- nomenon in many parts of the new country and remained an active part of the culture up to the end of the century, while elsewhere in the Western world, children were sentimentalized.

It was true for girls as well as for boys, observed in the eastern United States as well as the West, common among rural folk especially but in cities as well. Rachel Buttz’s father, Tunis Quick, was raised in the Shenandoah Valley in the early nineteenth century. His father was a well-meaning “generous, kindhearted man,” but his decision to back a neighbor’s loan impoverished the family, and soon after his mother’s death young Tunis was “hired to a neighbor who required him to do almost as much work as a full-grown man.” Just past ten years of age, Tunis quickly became responsible in other ways as well. Tunis objected to the slavery that was a feature of the area in which they lived, so at fifteen he urged his father to move the family to the North.

They stopped first in Ohio “where [he] was variously employed in farming, hauling goods and keeping a ferry on the Scioto River.” Having worked hard and impressed his employer, young Tunis obtained the means to buy a home in Indiana where the family finally settled. Tunis Quick learned early to assist his family as they struggled, and his sense of responsibility also gave him the ability to think independently and to have his views heard and respected. By what we would consider his mid-adolescence, he had not only directed his family’s migration north, but he was buying property for them. Tunis’s desire to leave a section dominated by slavery is also noteworthy, since it was the South, where slave ownership defined the society, that was the major exception to the developing democracy within families.

To some extent, the independence given to children grew from the ideals and values expressed in the Revolution since Americans believed that future generations had to acquire the characteristics that would maintain the principles enunciated in that event. But more than ideology was involved. No simple commitment to an idea can completely explain the behaviors so widely observed and the general willingness to heed children’s independent judgment. Ideology will not necessarily loosen a father’s grip over his sons when he had always expected to be obeyed and to have his commands met, even when he is committed to republican ideals. In the Southern United States, of course, this loosening of paternal power never happened, since slavery reinforced its grip.

And even in other parts of the United States, some observed the loosening of parental reins with concern and attempted to inhibit the young through new institutions of supervision, such as schools, as they recognized how much mischief could be loosed in a world guided by revolutionary principles. Not all Americans took kindly to the idea of children acting on their own. But a widespread independence among the young continued nevertheless. American life in the first half of the nineteenth century was defined by conditions that made such views about children necessary while the restless temperament of Americans made them ready for change and improvement. Together, these conditions provided children with the leeway to become more independent as they became more useful. Utility as well as ideology needs to be taken into account if we are to understand the families that produced a Grant, Drake, Quick, Shaw, or Wright.

The changing circumstances of the early republic resulted from both material conditions and political institutions. Together, these were widely understood as fundamental to the difference between Americans and Europeans. A shrewd, early observer of the difference, the Reverend Enos Hitchcock, sought to sustain the new revolutionary ideology through appropriate childrearing and education. “The systems of education written in Europe, are too local to be transferred to America; they are generally designed for a style of life, different from that, which is necessary for the inhabitants of the United States to adopt: they do not reach our circumstances, and are not suited to the genius of our government.”

To understand the American regime of domestic relations, we need to grasp just how unsettled, raw, and unpredictable the American land and the developing economy were during the important first half of the nineteenth century, since the experiences of American children and their parents were an expression of that reality. This dynamic new economy revised expectations about youth and what it could achieve. So did the laws governing inheritance and generational relations. The changes in American domestic life also transformed power relations between men and women, husbands and wives, and this, too, affected generational relationships in important ways.”

- Paula S. Fass, “Childhood and Parenting in the New Republic Sowing the Seeds of Independence, 1800–1860.” in The End of American Childhood: A History of Parenting from Life on the Frontier to the Managed Child

#american #the end of american childhood #paula s. fass #history

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fandomshatelgbtqpeople · 3 years

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On Loki (or I take too long to get to the point but I promise it’s a good one)

So, I saw someone on my dash claiming that people shipping Loki/Sylvie were invalidating genderfluid people and that anyone who disagreed with them or continued to ship it was “ignoring the voices of genderfluid people.”

Let me get this out of the way, I really don’t give a shit whether you’re okay with Loki/Sylvie. Literally could not care less. And while some of the points I’m going to go over while dismantling this person’s argument overlap with the reasons I personally don’t have a problem with it, that is not what this post is about. We will not be having an argument about whether “selfcest” is okay on this blog. I do not care whether or not you’re into that.

But, as another genderfluid person, their argument made no sense and the fact that they were lambasting anyone who pointed that out as being fluidphobic pissed me off, so I’m going to use it as an example of something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while. And to be clear, people can feel how they feel personally and I’m not saying anyone should go tell this person that how they personally feel is wrong, but feelings are often irrational and if they’re going to claim that something is invalidating to genderfluid people as a whole, there needs to be some logic there.

On Loki and genderfluidity

Making the point I want to make requires me to explain the thought processes a non-genderfluid person could use to dissect this argument.

This person’s argument was that shipping Loki and Sylvie invalidated genderfluid people because it reinforces the stereotype that a genderfluid people become a different person when their gender changes. Here’s why that doesn’t make sense to me:

There’s actually no evidence right now that Loki and Sylvie even are different versions of the same person.

Even if they are different versions of the same person, they’re two distinct characters as opposed to “our” Loki as a man and “our” Loki as a woman.

As far as I’m aware, that is not actually even a widespread stereotype about genderfluid people. This was literally the first time I’d ever heard of that idea.

Starting with #1, we don’t know enough about Sylvie or any of the other Lokis’ origins to know whether they have any kind of genetic relationship. For all we know, the Odinsons adopted a completely different kid in each of these universes. The different ages and races of the variants suggest something like this (unless they all turn out to be a shapeshifted Tom Hiddleston, in which case we’ll have other, more important things to talk about). My point here is that we just don’t have enough information to know whether they’re different spins on the same person or completely different people altogether. Sylvie also might not even end up being a Loki. There’s all kind of people in Marvel pretending to be other people. All I’m saying is that you have to make a lot of assumptions to get to “they are different versions of the same person” in the first place. A non-genderfluid person is just as capable of recognizing that as a genderfluid person is.

To address #2, we’ll accept for a moment that all the different Lokis are different versions of the same person. Even if that’s true, the characters are not one person who’s gender fluctuates or changes like a gender fluid person’s does. They’re two separate characters with different genders, one of whom has been confirmed as genderfluid. If we accept that treating these characters like two different people invalidates genderfluid people--which again, I strongly disagree with--then it’s not shipping them together that’s invalidating. It’s the fact that they interact at all. Romantic relationships are not the only kind of relationships that require multiple participants. This would also imply that any story where parents from one universe adopt a son and the same parents from a different universe adopt a daughter would invalidate genderfluid people if the narrative acknowledges them as different people.

Finally, a character being two versions of the same person has never stopped fandom from shipping them regardless of gender (see: the Onceler, the Doctor, mirror-verse Star Trek characters), so trying to make this into something that’s only happening because they’re different genders is kind of ridiculous, and once you lose that, you lose the connection to genderfluidity. Again, you don’t have to be genderfluid to recognize that there’s a difference between two characters with different genders and one genderfluid person.

#3 is the only point that I’ll acknowledge is easier to understand if you’re genderfluid. Genderfluid people are just more likely to know what the stereotypes are. That said, if you’ve been involved in conversations about queerness in media for years and someone is telling you a character reinforces a stereotype you’ve never heard of before, run a google search! See if you can find anyone other than this one person discussing it! To double-check myself, I ran a search on genderfluid stereotypes and didn’t find any mention of the idea that a genderfluid person becomes a different person when their gender changes.

Now, it’s entirely possible that someone in the OP’s life does have that misconception. That doesn’t mean it’s a widespread negative stereotype that media or fandom have a responsibility to avoid. The Half of It probably reinforces somebody’s mom’s idea that lesbians can only be friends with boys, but that doesn’t actually mean there’s anything wrong with it. It’s impossible to avoid every potential misconception, especially since we have no way of knowing what all of them are. The OP may very well legitimately feel invalidated by the whole thing, but that doesn’t make it invalidating to the group at large (and it also doesn’t make it objectively wrong).

So what’s my actual point?

You know all those posts starting to go around about how “listening to marginalized voices” doesn’t actually mean “take everything every marginalized person you come across says as the gospel truth,” how that’s actually dehumanizing and forces marginalized people to do all the work for you, and at some point you actually have to use your own critical thinking skills to decide what you believe in? Every time I look through the notes of those posts, there’s tons of people going “I don’t know how tho” or “I’m afraid to be wrong.”

This is a simple example of why it’s important (another example is all the people who were mislead into attacking artists over various lesbian flag designs in 2018-19), and hopefully this post is an okay explanation of how to get started.

Start with what you know. These are the points we started with here. You may recognize some of them from other common bad arguments floating around:

This argument is premised on an issue I’ve never heard of despite being in a position to know about it. -> “I’ve been in and out of nonbinary spaces and helping run a blog about queer representation in media for years and I’ve never heard of anyone thinking genderfluid people become a different person when their gender changes. I did some research and it doesn’t look like anyone else has heard of it either.”

This concept doesn’t mean what this person is saying it means. -> “The OP is saying a ship between two different characters is fluidphobic because they have different genders. That doesn’t make sense.”

This person is relying on assumptions without evidence that they’re accurate. -> “This argument relies on Sylvie being (1) a Loki, and (2) a different version of ‘our’ Loki. Either of these things could easily not be true.”

This position is internally inconsistent. -> “How does shipping two characters imply that you think of them as different people in a way that, for example, referring to them as brother and sister doesn’t?”

This position conflicts with information you know to be true independently. -> “The OP is claiming that shipping two characters means you think of them as different people but I’ve personally witnessed multiple popular fandoms spring up around shipping a character with themselves,” and “This argument relies on a widespread willingness to accept that a person can have multiple personalities, but people with DID (at least in the US) actually struggle with a widespread perception among both laypeople and psychologists that multiple personalities don’t exist.”

Following this logic to its natural conclusion leads you to a position that’s ridiculous -> “If treating Loki and Sylvie like two distinct people is fluidphobic, that means any story where a family adopts a son in one universe and a daughter in the other is fluidphobic unless they’re treated by the narrative and fandom like the same person” and “If treating genetically identical people of different genders as distinct people is fluidphobic, wouldn’t that also make Orphan Black fluidphobic for treating the clone who was a trans man like a distinct character, since he’s not the same gender as the others?”

This person is making proclamations about how other people think and feel without evidence. -> “The OP is assuming everyone who ships Loki/Sylvie must be taking the position that they’re distinct people because OP personally would never ship anyone with themselves.”

This person is generalizing how they feel about something to how everyone feels. -> “OP leapt to the conclusion that shipping Loki/Sylvie invalidates genderfluid people in general because it hits on their own insecurities as a genderfluid person.”

This person is throwing accusations and ad hominem attacks instead of engaging with legitimate counterpoints. -> “Multiple people pointed out that the OP was relying on several assumptions that might be wrong. Instead of responding to this point, the OP called them ‘weirdos’ and accused them of ‘speaking over genderfluid people.’” (This is not the same thing as making a post and then not engaging with the notes at all. That’s a legitimate choice.)

There is a motive to mislead the reader. -> “The point OP is making isn’t actually about genderfluid people and is in fact, ‘You’re a bad person for shipping Loki/Sylvie.’ Not liking the ship seems like a clear ulterior motive to make this argument, and I’ve definitely seen fandoms weaponize representation issues during ship wars before.”

That’s a lot of flags! All of these are reasons you should be skeptical of an argument and seek out other points of view or other people with the same point of view who are willing to address these concerns, but the last two are major red flags that, combined with any yellow flags, signal the person you’re listening to is not speaking in good faith and is not a good source of information.

Listening to marginalized voices means making an effort to seek out the perspectives of marginalized people on issues that affect them and taking those perspectives into account in shaping your own opinion. It does not mean taking every post made by anyone who is (or says they are--people lie on the internet) x identity as the gospel truth and never doing any thinking of your own. Hopefully these tips will help all of you prevent yourselves from getting dragged into and used as a mouthpiece for positions that make no sense after a few minutes of thought.

Edit: Apparently Loki is canonically genderfluid now?? Anyway, I think I got all the references to him not being genderfluid removed. Sylvie may or may not be but we’re not getting into that here.

#ableism mention #critical thinking #long post #mod k #loki

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hopeshoodie · 3 years

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Couples I think would have been equally as toxic as Nope if they’d gotten together in the villa

Marisol and Elisa: They’d go toe to toe with Nope for the most dysfunctional relationship in the villa

Whereas Marisol and Hope are similar in their ambition and independence but different enough to be compatible (Hope is more empathetic and Marisol is more strategic), Elisa and Marisol are just too similar. Pair that similarity with how competitive they both are… Yikes. Both of them tend to think that they’re the prettiest, smartest, and most aware people in the room, and with the time in the villa they wouldn’t be able to build enough of a relationship to overcome their constant judgement towards each other.

If MC wasn’t there, I think Marisol would realize around day 23 that the audience doesn’t care about her and Graham. She wants to win, and Elisa’s been grafting onto her, so she’ll couple with Elisa to try and be the ‘wlw power couple’ that the audience wants.

And while they’re both attracted to each other… They’re SO passive aggressive. Elisa isn’t goofy or sweet enough to get Marisol to lighten up, but she IS socially aware enough to be irritated by Marisol’s poor taste in men and constant over-analyzing. Elisa’s unflappable confidence would make Marisol feel insecure (through no fault of her own, having someone flat out tell you ‘I’m more attractive than you, I have more power’ hurts), and she’d cope with that insecurity REALLY poorly.

So while they both want to be together for the game strategy and because they’re both attracted to each other, they’re in this cycle of ‘actually enjoying the romantic dates and game challenges together, one of them says something and the other one is passive aggressive in response, they get really personal and exchange digs in that whisper-fight way that couples do when they’re pretending everything’s fine, then Marisol leaves to sulk, then Elisa approaches her pretending nothing is wrong (invalidating her emotions) and then if Marisol puts up a stink about that reminds her they have to be a happy couple to win LITG.

God they would make everyone SO UNCOMFORTABLE with the sniping. Marisol would say something annoying, Elisa would make a face or a snarky comment, then they would grit their teeth and go back and forth. ‘I don’t think Rahim and Jo are going to last, look at how he’s sitting’ ‘I don’t think you’re close enough to Rahim to have that insight. Not everyone’s body language is the same.’ ‘Well you haven’t been here since day 1’ ‘No but I’ve gotten to watch all the behind the scenes’ ‘What’s the point of knowing all that if you don’t share it with your partner, though.’ and just increasingly sharper eye contact at each other and more and more curt voices.

Once they’re out of the villa (or maybe even at the finale, when they’re both pissed that they lost), all the pretense is dropped and they just scream at each other. Marisol because she keeps all these mental receipts about things that she’s angry about, and Elisa because she thinks she’s above having to care.

Lucas and Lottie: God this would be… A whole mess.

As much as Lottie doesn’t want to admit it, she’s clingy as fuck. And not in a ‘hold my hand in public’ kind of way, but in a ‘don’t even glance at other women, I need you to say you’re committed even if you’re not’. But she doesn’t want to acknowledge that’s how she is, so she would say she’s okay being ‘casual’ (she let Gary string her along, I have no doubts she’d let Lucas do the same) but very much not be okay with it.

On his end, Lucas would NOT be concerned about her feelings. He used Blake, he shafted MC, and he barely apologized for either. I think his reaction to Lottie would be very similar to Gary’s- never really affirming her or supporting her but definitely accepting her support and going all the way with her. But instead of being oblivious to that being what he was doing, Lucas would acknowledge it. Say it was intentional, that they were only casually dating. He would flirt with other women, but never switch. I firmly believe he switched from MC because he was scared by how into her he was, but with Lottie he’d never have that problem. Being coupled with Lottie would be a safe position for Lucas- he gets to play the game without taking any risks.

And honestly? I think it’d be a good position for both of them. They’re fan favorites in their own right, attractive and desired by the audience. I don’t know if people would ship them as much as they’d like knowing that both of their faves are still ‘available’ in a way. Lucas and Lottie have good rapport where they can be snarky about other couples, which viewers would love. I could easily see them taking third or second as a couple.

But gosh... They would bring out the worst in each other. Lucas is really dismissive and cold when you corner him, and Lottie is really nasty when she feels threatened. Lucas’ proud non-commitment to Lottie would drive her insane trying to defend her territory, and Lottie’s demands to be treated like she deserves would make Lucas even more convinced that he’s right to treat her as a friend with benefits. Poor Henrik would be caught in the middle because he likes both of them, but hates when they’re together.

Priya and Henrik: I don’t think these two would be nearly as loudly toxic as Nope or the above, but they’d certainly hurt each other plenty.

I feel like this pairing could have feasibly happened if Henrik stayed in the villa, and then Priya was paired with Noah. They both fancied each other, but had they been together for a long period of time I think their relationship would’ve slowly degraded and upset both of them.

Despite Priya being the most mature age-wise, I actually think she’s one of the least mature girls in the villa (obviously she’s more than Jo or Lottie, but definitely leagues below MC and Hope). Her playing games with Felix, gamifying Operation Nope instead of just cracking on with Noah, and chasing Lottie down for an apology instead of letting it go were all pretty juvenile things to do. Conversely, while Henrik seems like a young golden-retriever boy, he’s actually really mature and considerate of others.

I can see their relationship being fine, if not really good, for a couple of days (like Priya was with Rahim), before Priya loses interest. Henrik would get attached because of those honeymoon days, and he’ll become increasingly despondent as Priya starts looking elsewhere because he’s not enough. Why isn’t he enough? Especially if Lucas is gone and MC isn’t into him, he starts to feel like a burden to the villa. I can see Priya making another offer to Noah towards the end of the season if she stayed, be it just a ‘are you really still not interested?’, which would crush Henrik.

At the same time, Henrik tries to keep the peace and a lot of the little spats and jokes Priya participates in will rub him the wrong way. He’ll gently try to point out to her that repeatedly using the Ice Robot joke on Jakub is mean, and Priya will get insulted because she thinks Henrik is singling her out. So while Henrik feels like their good relationship is slipping through his fingers, Priya feels like it was never that good to begin with. That now she’s just shackled to someone who goes out of his way to make her feel like a bad person.

I don’t think Henrik would call it and leave Priya, even if Lucas encouraged him to. And Priya wouldn’t switch unless it was a sure thing (which no one in the villa in late game would be for her). So they would just stay together until they get voted off, increasingly resenting each other and getting more and more distant. I qualify this as a toxic relationship because they’ll definitely both leave the show feeling like they wasted the time and have a worse self image than when they came in (it would reinforce Henrik’s idea that maybe he’s unlovable and make Priya insecure about ‘am I a bad person?’).

#litg #headcanons

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