#and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy.
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crying again lol ok
#purrs#and posting online abt it so i get immediate validation / support instead of asking for help from anyone im close to i know. but god fucking#damn it to hell. ok im going to be candid about this because it hurts so fucking bad. five years ago i met someone so important to me. and I#miss her so so so so much. and every space here i have a memory with her in. and she left in July and she’s gone. and im sobbing my eyes out#FOR WHY because it was over 6 months ago and im happier and she’s happier and we’re all happier. but i think im getting some aftershocks#being here for the first time without her exactly 5 years to the week we met: when she was so important to me. she was the whole reason i#even saw myself as something. and she’s fucking gone. she left. but she’s not dead like LMAO idk why im crying so hard when i could just#text her any time and tell her that i miss her. but idk. it’s just everything is stirring memories and they’re painful to think about now or#at least today because she’s gone and it all changed. i was just saying that i feel like im not having any emotions and tonight the grief ju#just rammed into me like a train and my fucking counselor sucks ass and won’t even help me work through it and everyone is busy and tired an#and im a staff coach so im not supposed to be having a fuckjng mental breakdown over **** pacing around in my bathroom at 1:23am but ive be#been thinking about her so much and remembering all the formative interactions i had with her here and missing her so much i want to explode#and die and p*ke and whatever. so stupid to cry about it but i fucking miss her. and i hate that she’s not here. and i’m trying so hard to b#be her but i have to be me but i can’t not have what she brought here and im just crashi ng and burning and can’t be honest and im having a#breakdown and crying so hard and i don’t know what to do. i ithink i’ll be fine after some sleep and reflection but my heart is like seizing#on itself right now and nothing takes my mind off it and i just keep crying LMFAOOOOOO. i hate it here#delete later#like how can you look at me like that and then fuck off to ****** 4.5 years later. you know? im about to punch a hole into the hallway#and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy.#retreat tag
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pacing back and forth in my brain trying to find a way to put all of these feelings into my creative work to try to communicate these things that the average person will hopefully never experience but I want them to witness this experience all the same
#last night being unable to sleep bc of the fear engulfing me was just another push to Make things to try to communicate this all to ppl#but idk if i can#how do i make ppl feel the fear and panic of not having anywhere safe to run to#how do i make ppl understand the resignation of a seemingly hopeless situation and the quiet trodding along bc theres nothing else to do#Lastly is supposed to be some of this but they have too much unawareness of other experiences existing#so im making a new automaton rn to try to communicate this but im not sure she will hold this either#i try to give this to my characters to help me hold it all and they end up shedding it and im left alone w it all over again#left w no way to try to communicate the feelings and experience of it#and i try to make visual art of it but it always falls flat and doesnt reach the depths of emotion i need it to#idk !! one day i will get it right i hope and i will have to keep trying until then#and hope that i can be alive to communicate it dbfjfjdl#its been like... a couple years of concentrated effort trying to communicate this specific feeling#but I've been trying to communicate feelings that are a bit more vague but relate to this once i came into existence in our early teens#I've just never gotten it quite right#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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when you get hurt hcs [officers + roe]
a/n: requested <3 usually in my writing the reader is implied to be a part of easy company in a vague way bc i know ppl have different preferences but some of these include getting shot (not graphic or anything) so ig that implies they're on the front lines
lmk if you would like to be on my taglist! @ronsparky @bcon24 @blueberry-ovaries @1waveshortofashipwreck
[dick winters]
you hit your head prettyyyy hard, and you're out of it, probably definitely concussed
it happens right in front of dick and he tries really hard to keep calm
he wants to be strong and level-headed for you
shows more obvious affection then any of the men have ever seen from him; pets your hair, holds your hand, is always by your side
he immediately gets you a medic and transported to an aid station and doesn’t want to leave you
but when dick's back with easy, he gets uncharacteristically easily angry and frustrated...
he gets quiet and withdrawn and a little snappy with zelensky and nix... and they both immediately know why
whenever he can go see you, he's there.. he even gets behind on all his paperwork (but nix offers to help)
which dick is hesitant to accept for many reasons, he feels guilty, like he's not focusing on his duties but lew is always good at keeping the reports concise lol
very fragile with you, he isn't underestimating you but he just absolutely does not want to push you or hurt you
is a stickler for the rules, follows absolutely everything the doctor says
he has to wake you up every few hours and you keep insisting it’s unnecessary and dick is absolutely not having it
you try to get up and move around and all dick has to hear is the sheets moving and he just gives you that stare, a little bit like a disappointed mom, and you're right back laying down
he’s way more clingy than usual, wants to be by your side, subtly holding your hand
in that moment it definitely hits him how much he loves and cares about you... he hasn't really had time or space to process those feelings until now <3
[lewis nixon]
it does not look good at first
it's really scary for everyone there, you loose a lot of blood and lose consciousness
lew is not there when you're first shot in the leg and everyone is very glad that he didn't have to see it
but when he finds out... oh he is not keeping cool, is not pretending even a little bit to be okay
starts lashing out and snaps at the driver who's taking him to the hospital to drive faster, mad that they didn't tell him sooner, mad that you were injured, mad at the war, furious at absolutely everything
lew has to be monitored by dick not to go full self destruction mode and get incredibly drunk
he hates just sitting with the constant uncomfortable feeling and reminder that you're hurting
he will not leave your side at first when you’re sleeping a lot, on a lot of medicine, and out of it
one nurse does approach him when he's the only vistor in the hospital left, "sir, the visiting hours-"
he just looks up, obviously devastated, voice cracking, "i'm can't leave. you can drag me out but i'm not going, thanks."
they back off after that
does go through a phase where he hates going once you're more conscious because he kills him to see you like that and face this feels irrational guilt he feels for not being there
because he definitely has the tendency to avoid his problems and things that hurt him
but it hurts you too and you don't fully understand
you look up at dick and harry, slightly delirious from the morphine, tearing up, "does he not want to see me anymore?"
after that they do drag lew to see you and you just straight up tell him feeling guilty is pointless and not fair to himself (or you)
and then it's right back to not leaving your side and always trying to make you laugh or smile
[ron speirs]
okay so i love the angel of the company x speirs trope
by now he's the co of easy and your relationship is a widely known secret...
he assigns you and the group of other men to a patrol... it wasn't an overly risky or bad order, a standard order from sink
but you guys make contact and you're shot in the arm
it just absolutely wrecks him
the guys feel like he's just going to go across enemy lines and find the soldier that shot you himself
the rest of the guys are furious too because everyone just absolutely loves you
for a short time, he's mad at the other soldiers on the patrol and you have to reminder him they didn't do anything wrong
but ron is really just irrationally mad at himself for not being there, for not being psychic, he's just angry he somehow didn't stop this
ron is not controlling and not possessive and he knows you can hold your own but he feels responsible for taking care of you and making sure you're safe
even if he can't quite articulate all of those feelings yet
he doesn't understand all the emotions he feels and doesn't even have time to try to understand them
he listens so attentively to the doctors, he can recite everything they've said word for word
like with chuck, he demands the absolute best from the doctors
this incident shows his more compassionate side and the guys start to see how much he really cares about you... bc they're protective of you too!
you have to comfort him and his voice breaks
and he feels weak and he feels bad that you're comforting him and not the other way around
"i'm messing everything up, doing everything wrong," he says more to himself but you frown, eyebrows furrowed and everything
"you're so hard on yourself, ron. when it's not your fault, it was routine, you didn't shoot me. then i'd be really pissed." you smile and he smiles weakly... but he's on edge for a longgg time after this
[carwood lipton]
unfortunately you and lip just cannot catch a break
your leg gets injured while he has pneumonia
it's not a major injury but a bullet ricocheted off of a wall and slightly grazed you and you need a few days of staying off of it
lip really tries to be comforting
and wants to be there for you and he is!
but it's very hard for him, he just wants you to be okay so badly, even when he himself isn't okay
trying to lecture you about staying off of your leg and asking others for help but breaking out into a coughing fit and then you're trying to help him sit up and to go get some hot water for him
and then he's back to telling you to stop and starts hoarsely calling for luz
it's a MESS
but carwood is a natural caretaker and has been one for most of his life
it makes him hover sooo badly especially because since he's sick too he doesn't have a lot of work to keep him busy
but you're not complaining honestly, it's nice to have more private time and something of a break, even if you're both miserable
you get the special privilege of an actual private back bed room with a mattress and blankets
kind of a bonding experience
you just laugh because what the fuck
it's kind of romantic, first time in a longgg time in an actual bed together
you just go back and forth talking about your future and the life you want after the war
"i don't like this wallpaper," you murmur into his chest
he laughs and that turns into coughing again and you're just rubbing his back trying not to bend your leg... domestic bliss <3
[buck compton]
buck... does not take it well
he takes it extremely hard
like his reaction to joe and bill...
you have pneumonia and the peniciln you need isn't available in bastogne
and it's even worse that he finds out you're sick only a few hours after that and that you've been sick and struggling for the past few days
maybe his reaction would've been different earlier on in the war
but now, it just feels like a destructive domino effect that's sparing no one
it's obvious after all of his friends injuries and your pneumonia that he couldn't stay on the front line... his red bleary eyes and slightly trembling hands said enough
when he gets taken off the line, you're both in an aid station together for a few hours before you're both transferred to different hospital
so his presence is silent reassurance
you want so badly to comfort him but you're so sick and he doesn't want you to, he feels so guilty leaving you
but you hoarsely tell him he needs a break and to process what happened
you're feeling slightly better this day so that makes it a little better... but not that much
both of you have been through hell
but there is a light in the tunnel... or at least you feel that way
buck isn't on the front lines anymore and you both have a chance at a life together post-war
he does not want to leave you, it has to take a lot of malarkey's coaxing him and promising to update buck
[eugene roe]
gene can't decide if having medical knowledge makes it better or worse
and if being the medic and being the one to have their hands covered in the your blood, was better than leaving it in the hands of someone else
he decides it's awful... definitely worse
the very few hours he slept, it was just dreaming of your terrified face
and he wakes with a jolt and is completely miserable
and life just goes on...
a lot of pacing and murmuring
gene closes in on himself when he's upset and stressed, so he becomes even quieter than normal
and the other guys are worried like ??? do we need to intervene and lip just stops them, "leave him alone, he'll be okay."
prays for you a lot, gripping his rosary so tightly and the photo that he has of the two of you when you were still in england
when you both felt some semblance of normalcy
he can't abandon the company to stay with you full time at the aid station to his incredible frustration and disappointment
it's just hard for him to go on like everything's fine, it shatters whatever illusion he has of fairness and hope and safety
whenever someone else gets injured or they need supplies, he'll take any excuse to ride back to the aid station to see you
and if anyone else goes, they always see you and give gene an update
winters definitely notices and tries to give him opportunities to see you
likes watching you rest and sleep (because you definitely needed it, even before you got injured) in the sweetest, non-creepy way
gene loves to just sit with you, see you with his own eyes, and know for certain that you're okay
#band of brothers x reader#band of brothers headcanon#band of brothers imagine#dick winters x reader#lewis nixon x reader#carwood lipton x reader#ron speirs x reader#buck compton x reader
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hi i hope this doesnt seem annoying bc i have never requested anything from ppl IDK it makes me anxious 😭 but ur one bed for sp was so cute i adore ur writing !!! do u think u could do it for craigs gang + butters?
one bed! part 2
-- sfw --
part one (main 4 boys)
characters: butters stotch, craig tucker, tweek tweak, tolkien black, jimmy valmer, clyde donovan
a/n: you arent annoying at all dws!! ty for being my first request this is monumental. oh and i wasnt sure if tweek counted as part of craigs gang or not but i adore him so i made one for him. also thank you!!!!!! ;; also jimmy is so underrated i love him so much mwagh
notes: i cant write clyde for shit idk he has no personaluty sorry i love him though; same character dynamic as part 1 (mutual pining, character has a crush on the reader)
— ⛧ b. stotch
complains that it's past his bedtime, but gives in because he wants to spend time with you.
"it's past nine already!"
"well.. yeah. it isn't that late, butters."
"but i always sleep at nine!"
but he'll sit through movies with you anyways because he has a fat crush on you.
except when the end credits start rolling, you look over at butters and he's curled up in a ball, snoring.
you don't have the heart to wake him up, so you quietly shut your laptop and move it off your bed.
he'll probably get in trouble for not coming home at all, but his parents trust you enough. you can probably talk them out of grounding him tomorrow morning.
"butters", you whisper. "leo, you gotta move."
he rolls over, half-asleep and dazed. "huh..?"
"you're staying with me tonight. scoot over."
"o-oh, jeez, okay", he blushes when he feels the warmth of you next to him.
"night, butters."
he's probably praying he doesnt wet the bed he would actually die
murmurs in his sleep and talks about nonsense
drools like a puppy
probably goes mimimimimi like in the cartoons /j
you will wake up with his arm around you. if you move it, he'll find his way back again in his sleep
looks like a baby when he sleeps its so funny you cant help but take photos
— ⛧ c. tucker
you turn around to tell him it's getting late and ask if he needs a ride home
and he's dead asleep. on the floor. textbook over his lap. snoring very softly.
like no wonder it's been so quiet... as you were doing your homework, craig was asleep on your floor.
you felt so bad having to wake him up to move him to your bed
"craig, i'm so sorry. i got distracted, i didn't mean to-"
"it's fine. just let me sleep in the corner. i like your plushies", he yawns.
so he sleeps in the corner against the wall, and you sleep on the outside to make sure he doesn't roll right off the bed.
if you weren't there, he definitely would have bc when you wake up, he's smushed into you.
how can he breathe???
he also violently gnashes his teeth and it's very startling (my brother did that as a kid and i would almost pee myself in fear)
and he'll randomly put his hand somewhere like your face?????? the way he does it is so funny because it always seems like he's wide awake but you look over and he's mouth breathing and sound asleep
yeah he's a mouth breather
it's okay he's a cutie
— ⛧ t. tweak
passes the fuck out from coffee. like CRASHES
"yeah and then i was telling kyle about how- tweek, you okay?"
"tired....... can i go.....mmfjkg"
like at a certain point past 1am he just turns into a dead slug
poor thing
you just send him up to your bedroom and get him a change of clothes so that he doesn't have to sleep in a button-up
except by the time you get up to your room, he's dead asleep.
you don't bother trying to wake him up, since you've never seen him sleep so peacefully.
he's curled up on his side, face buried in your plushies.
you scoot in next to him, so close that you can smell the milky coffee lingering in his hair.
it's kinda nice
in the middle of the night you wake up to a really strange noise.
it's tweek
he's doing this weird clicky thing with his tongue in his mouth in his sleep
like. okay?????? you go back to sleep
and then he flings his whole arm over and WHACKS you hard in the face
"TWEEK??"
"nhg..,"
he just randomly jerks in his sleep, wakes up for a second and falls back asleep
it's very startling
sometimes you have to hold him down with your arms
he loves it
— ⛧ t. black
actually a super chill guy to sleep with
he's enjoyable to have over
you'll both be studying for midterm exams next week, and he yawns
"it's like. ten. do you just wanna spend the night here?"
"is that, uh- is that okay with you?"
"yeah, my room's upstairs. i'll meet you up there in a sec"
he'll text his mom that he's spending the night because he's actually responsible
gets a little embarassed to sleep in your bed
but a win is a win
gets a LOT embarassed when you get in bed with him
falls asleep pretty fast actually
he's a relatively normal sleeper
spends like 30 minutes in the bathroom washing his face and stuff before he goes to bed
"do you have cleanser?"
sleeps like a rock
except for when he randomly talks
like TALKS. clear as day
scares you shitless
"y/n."
'tolkien??? are you up still??"
"why would you do that."
"do what??"
"grape juice"
and then he'd roll over and go back to sleep
does not remember any of his nighttime conversations in the morning
"i said that? are you sure?"
— ⛧ j. valmer
fell asleep on your couch in the middle of a horror movie
to your dismay
because when you turned away from the screen and grab at him in fear, he's SNORING. his ass is SNORING as the clown violently murders the main character.
"jimmy!"
"what?"
you just make a jokingly-angry face at him.
"it's late. can't i ju-just stay h-h-here?"
"well- i mean, sure, but you can't just sleep on the couch, dude. come up to my room, i'll show you."
"re-really?"
grins ear to ear
hes so down bad for you
almost implodes when you lean his crutches against the door and make sure they won't fall
DOES implode when you get in next to him
he smells like dish soap but in a good way
like citrus
you tell him so, and to that he makes a stupid "orange-you happy i'm here" joke
"jimmy, go to sleep."
"f-fine."
makes sure he's got the elastics for his braces in
in the middle of the night he'll whisper your name
"y/n r u still up"
"yeah what"
"i just thought of something really funny"
it gets old so fast but it's okay he's cute
— ⛧ c. donovan
crashes at 8pm after insisting he can pull an all-nighter
refuses to get up unless you drag him by his ankles
and even then he'll lay on the floor like a dead fish
so you just let him stay
meticulously brushes his hair sideways with wet fingers to make sure he doesn't wake up with a bedhead in front of you
he does anyway.
you walk up behind him as he moves his hair "whatcha doin?"
he jumps THREE FEET and whirls around
"nothing!" as if he's hiding a government secret or sum
once you guys r in bed he stops acting all tough and cool and just freaks out
his back will be turned but he's beet red
breathes really loudly when he falls asleep
and sleeps in ATROCIOUS positions
you'll wake up with his foot on your chest and the blanket flipped upside down
someone needs to belt this boy down to the bed or something
he's really a cute sleeper though
sometimes you wake up and see him face-down in a pillow and move him over to make sure he doesn't like. suffocate
and then he wakes up to you on top of him with no context
"....y/n?"
#dude this randomly crashed and i had ti rewrite the tags#south park#south park x reader#south park fluff#fluff#butters#butters stotch#butters x reader#butters stotch x reader#craig tucker#craig x reader#craig tucker x reader#tweek x reader#tweek tweak#tweek tweak x reader#tweek fluff#butters fluff#tolkien black#jimmy valmer#jimmy valmer x reader#clyde donovan#clyde donovan headcanons#south park headcanons#clyde donovan x reader#butters headcanons#kyle broflovski#kenny mccormick#eric cartman
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guesss who’s back to rantttttt 🙈
adding into this, i feel that simon wearing his mask (with the diy skull and the printed one) would do the complete opposite of being a ghost like literally. technically, simon riley is dead. he died in a fire with his family and the last thing he needs or wants is attention.
i mean can u imagine the rumors going around?
“that bloke who wears that skull mask? he’s bare weird man” (idek if that proper slang, pls don’t kill me).
i also feel like it would also bring unwanted people from his work to his home (or the little hole he lives in. i mean let’s be honest, it’s pretty fkn bare). there aren’t many people who are british, have a gravely voice, AND wear a skull mask. i mean that’s an easy target right there.
i don’t think that simon would introduce himself in a civilian setting as “ghost”. if a guy came up to me and said “call me ghost” i’d fkn laugh in his face and call him a bozo.
why would he introduce himself with his callsign if he isn’t in the “work” environment???? again that’s just unwanted attention.
i 100% believe that simon and the rest of the 141 are the types to have a work life and a civilian life. he wouldn’t want to bring any of the shit he has to go through at work back to his hole home.
as much as he hates being alone back in manchester, he still needs it. he needs a break from all of the war he has to go through.
ghost and simon are two different entities with two different lives and just because simon riley is dead on paper doesn’t mean he’s actually gone.
simon knows that if he brings ghost back home he’s only hurting himself and falling into a bottomless pit.
that’s why he wouldn’t wear the mask in public or anytime he’s on leave (unless it’s his home and there has to be a very specific reason why), and that’s why he wouldn’t walk around telling people his callsign.
unless the fic is taking place on base with a soldier!reader, there is no actual reason why simon would wear the mask and go by ghost.
ghost & mask = work
simon & and bare face = home or just civilian life.
there’s no reason why he would want to mix work and civilian life together.
and if people can say that he’s insecure about his face and don’t want to show it off, but i’d have to disagree. i mean did u hear him when he was talking with soap?
bro was 100% smiling like a cocky little shit when he said “quiet the opposite”. this mfer knows that he’s hot and enjoys it. in my delulu mind, i think simon enjoys whatever scars are on his face because he thinks they make him more hotter (i also don’t think he has that many scars on his face bc i think it’s one of the hardest places to attack idk).
that’s still not to say that he won’t get the usual waves of depression and the usual stares from people for his beauty and scars, but he’d still take it over the weird looks when he gets when he wears the mask.
technically speaking, no matter how attractive, it’s harder to remember someone with a pretty face and accurately described it than remember a mask and describe it, which i think simon understands completely.
someone also brought up the cut scene before the “no russian” one of where simons and the 141 are in the bar and he’s wearing the mask.
i have to agree with the person who said this that people saw that and took it face value that he wears the mask outside. not everything is lore, or is it 100% cannon. sometimes some things are for shits and giggles.
if you’ve read it this far i just wanna let y’all’s know i’m not trying to be mean. i’m just ranting. i’m all for creative freedom and wanting ppl to write whatever they want, i just want it to make sense yk? and if i came off bitch my bad bro.
anyways imma go sleep or smt. caio ;)
#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley mw2#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley headcanons#simon riley fanfic#ghost x reader#ghost call of duty#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost fanfiction#call of duty#cod mw2#modern warefare ii#mw2 ghost#cod imagine#cod headcanons
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Landoscar flatmates au ? For the au prompts!
OH HELLO. ok this is more neighbours au than flatmates but !
lando moves into his first london apartment trying to get his new streaming company off the ground. it's Not a nice place exactly. the stairwell is a fire hazard and there are water stains wrapped around the smaller-than-he's-used-to kitchen and he's pretty sure his downstairs neighbours are serial killers with the odd hours they keep & passive aggressive notes they leave around (wdym "kindly refrain from yelling when ppl are trying to sleep" who goes to bed at 7pm m8? but ok FINE he can schedule his cod streams for earlier in the day 🙄)
but that's what you get for wanting to "make it on ur own". so to speak
one sultry summer afternoon his doorbell rings and oh worm? it's the fabled downstairs neighbour who he's never met before. he's got floppy hair and bags under his eyes and apparently he's going to be late on rent this month bc he lost his second job. internally lando's like uh ok sure? what's that got to do with me but then Floppy Hair gives him a slow once-over and says: "or i could maybe. blow you?"
and that's??? fuck, why not. the guy's fit. what the hell
he figures out what that was all about later: oscar the downstairs bloke thinks LANDO owns the apartment bc he coincidentally shares a last name with their landlord ?
which brings up like: The Ethical Conundrum. on one hand: honesty, yeah? but lando's morals are fluid at the best of times and tbh the convenience of having dick that good only a floor down is nothing to sneeze at‼️ besides, between his delivery job and engineering coursework, oscar seems to have enough on his plate without adding apartment-hunting to the mix. it's win-win, really? what oscar doesn't know won't hurt him. lando can cover his share
cue 3-5 months of some of the best sex lando's ever had, partly for the normal reasons and partly bc of how Down oscar is to try all the weird kinky shit lando is into (which he chalks up to the fact that in oscar's mind he's essentially selling his body for shelter...... insert vague guilt)
and the problem is lando's growing fond of oscar's like dry sense of humor and his surprisingly good cooking (when he's got the time) and ends up doing all sorts of throat-constrictingly domestic stuff like dropping oscar off at class and ordering extra groceries for him and one day when they're sat in oscar's apartment waiting for the kettle (a shmancy new one lando bought) to boil, oscar jokes "oh am i officially a sugar baby now... a rentboy if u will" lando has a mild (read: severe) crisis about it and just. blurts out the truth
oscar's quiet for a bit. and then he's like: yeah i know
and hi what? the? fuck? but oscar's like uh so i ran into our real landlord a couple of weeks after we started shagging and i know i should have said something when u began paying a third of my rent but. shrugs. i looked u up and it seems like you can afford it (pure electric advert). also i... like hanging out with you. i like cooking for you. i like having sex and enough free time to sleep. i wanna keep doing it if you... (he's blushing now) don't mind
and lando's lowkey like youuu son of a bitch but he recognises he doesn't have a leg to stand on and hey does this mean oscar can actually spend nights at his place instead of walking back to his own apartment ? cut to future oscar cameoing in the background of lando's streams as Anonymous Boyfriend and maxf being like why the hell do you still have him saved in ur phone as "rentboy 💕"
#answered#landoscar#forever thinking abt mark saying the only time he's ever seen oscar agitated is when he was beefing w his landlord over rent...#ln4#op81#ch. fic
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do you have any funny or cute details about Bea(or avatrice) in your butch Bea universe that you haven't share yet?
(I'm definitely re-reading some of it to fight against this bad day I'm having)
hello i’m sry this is late! work has been busy 😵💫 i hope ur day improved or at least there’s been some better days since 🫶
hmm well bea is good at like… every outdoors activity she tries — she’s coordinated & strong & focused, so once she gets the body mechanics down she’s like. above average to Excellent fairly quickly. surfing, trail running, backcountry hiking, bouldering, trad climbing, skiing, etc. i am lazy & put them in socal since i am in socal lmao but for the majority of the year california really is just outdoor enthusiast paradise.
she started trying stuff bc ava was gone & she was so sad & when her cool friends from surfing were planning a trip to climb in joshua tree or some ppl she met on the pct were driving up to mammoth for an end of the season ski, it was all better to be moving outside in grief than it was to sit at home in an empty house.
i think that maybe she worries, when she’s alone surfing or on a long run along the cliffs, even just bouldering at the gym with her airpods in instead of hanging out w friends who are there — maybe she worries that ava would be disappointed in her, that this isn’t what ava meant by ‘live your life’ — quiet streams & long car rides into the piney forest in a practical small suv, listening to a podcast about architecture. it seems small, to be in the wild — the ocean, the woods, the mountains, the desert — & not grand; at least, she feels small. she worries ava wanted her to feel big.
but then ava comes back & bea has been keeping a list of all the places to show ava, all the things to do with her, the movement & the air that kept her just on this edge of sane. & of course ava is delighted by it all — the kid who cried on the beach when she saw stars? absolutely in love with the waves & the wind in the trees & the sunset on a big hammock on a hot night in the desert in the summer. it makes sense to ava & it is what she meant — settling into the texture of a life.
it’s good to feel small sometimes, yknow? she tells bea, when they’re eating sandwiches a few miles into a hike on the lost coast — ava refuses to camp, so they’re meeting friends later on. it’s good to feel small in a world that’s so big.
they make s’mores that night with their friends & it’s dark & beautiful; the sand & the sea & the sky are all wine-dark & quiet-loud; there are so many stars. it’s rainy & cold in the bay the next day & they sleep in & eat ramen & don’t leave their hotel room all day (ava’s request; if he had to hike ten miles he earned it tenfold). bea worried that a slow day might seem small too, but ava sinks into it just like everything else: rest & softness.
eventually bea gets more used to it, & better at letting it happen. in recovery from top surgery, the worst part is not being able to get outside for a while — but ava drives them both to the mountains & they sit on the balcony together while it snows. when ava can’t move as well, they sit in the warm sand by the beach & bea puts her hand on the small of her back when they walk in the cool surf. eventually bea’s shown ava every place she ached & then there’s the rest of the world left to explore.
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mornings
abby x fem!reader
getting out of bed is always the hardest part of the day.
word count: 1.4k (ish)
warnings: fluff without smut, bickering but they love each other, possibly my only fic where ppl dont say they love each other verbally tho, play fighting + tickling, kissing
a/n: hi! i'm once again writing things ppl haven't asked for instead of writing the things i said i would write lol, this fic is valid tho bc there isn't enough abby fluff and someone had to do something abt it. next fic will either be an ellie req fill bc i have a bunch of those or an arcane fic bc i'm working on two of them rn <3
it isn’t the shrill ringing of your alarm that breaks you out of your slumber, instead it’s abby leaning over you to turn it off, her sleepy grumbling about how it’s a waste of fucking batteries and how you’re a grown woman you should be able to wake yourself up like everyone else causing a smile to tug at your lips. she slumps down on top of you when she’s managed to switch it off, she’d actually hit the button this time instead of throwing the clock across the room and hoping the wall would take care of it, so you reward her with a blind kiss in the general direction of her face, still too tired to open your eyes and aim with any accuracy.
“kisses aren’t gonna make up for waking me up like that,” she huffs, though she presses her face into your neck and lets her weight settle on top of you. she’s heavy but it's a weight you’re used to and it’s especially nice on mornings like this, when you’re stuck at the fob without any of the comforts of your own bed back at the stadium and even two pairs of socks aren’t able to keep the chill from creeping in.
“you’re warm,” you mumble against the top of her head, your voice thick with sleep, it’s far too early to engage in the alarm clock argument, no matter how lighthearted it is. you wrap your arms around her shoulders and your legs around her waist, clinging onto her though there’s not much danger she’s going to move as she only relaxes against you more. she stifles a yawn against your shoulder and presses her cheek against your skin, sighing happily when you tug out her ponytail so you can card your fingers through her hair.
“whatever,” she mutters, though there’s no heat behind her words, it’s hard to believe she’s mad at you when she’s tilting her head into your touch and petting your hip with one of her hands. you can’t hear any birds outside and when you crack one of your heavy eyelids open it’s still dark enough in the room that you can’t see much at all. it makes you want to roll over and fall back asleep, but you know nora’s threat to force you to scrub the stains out of everyone's scrubs if you’re late again is very credible.
“if we’re out of bed in ten minutes we’ll get first pick of breakfast,” you say softly, not wanting to break the comfortable silence in the room, you force your other eye open and try to blink the sleep away, resting your cheek against abby’s forehead. the base is still quiet outside, the only people who are moving around at this time are people retiring from night shifts. not many people are able to pull themselves from bed without the promise of food or demands of work, you don’t blame them.
“it’s gonna be the same shit as yesterday, we don’t need to get up early for that,” abby groans, shifting your body around until she can slip an arm under you and hold you against her. she really is like a heater, her arm is warm and strong around you and she slips her other hand under your shirt, splaying her fingers over your ribs and stroking the side of one of your breasts with her thumb.
“they had fried eggs yesterday though, that beats the stuff they were giving us before,” you reply as you wiggle closer to her, trying to avoid the chill of the room reaching the skin she’s exposed by pushing your shirt up. abby’s hands are familiar on your chest, she likes touching your breasts when you cuddle, pressing her hands up against your ribs where she can feel your heartbeat and feel each of your steady breaths. you’ve never asked why exactly, but you can guess it’s her way of reassuring herself that you’re there and whole and alive, that it’s a result of all the people she’s lost.
“stop being positive, i’m trying to be mad,” she sighs, you can feel the way her brows have been tugged into a frown and you laugh, reaching down to guide her face away from your neck. you cup her cheek when she’s looking down at you and use one of your hands to smooth out the wrinkle between her brows, trailing your fingertips over her jaw when she’s let her expression relax. her hair falls down over her shoulders and tickles your skin where the wide neck of the shirt you sleep in leaves it exposed, it’s slightly wavy from being braided and you curl a lock of it around your fingers and tug gently.
“you’re so pretty,” you tell her, leaning up to kiss her in the general direction of her lips, you’re pretty sure you kiss more of her chin than her mouth but you can feel her smile a little so you count it as a success.
“you can barely see me,” abby chuckles, leaning down and pressing a much more accurate kiss to your cheek, “besides, you’re the pretty one,” she hums, kissing the corner of your mouth. she shifts her weight to one arm, pulling her hand out of your shirt so she can brush her hair over one shoulder, her bicep flexes by your head and you turn so you can kiss the bulge of the muscle.
“no, you,” you reply, laughing again when abby throws her head back with a groan and sits up so she can look down at you, her brows furrowed again. your legs fall open around her hips and she rests her hands on your knees, brushing her thumbs over the soft, well worn material of your sweats, her touch gentle though her eyes are narrowed at you.
“you’re just trying to irritate me, huh?,” she asks, squeezing your knees when you only respond with a laugh and prod her back with your heel, you can hear a smile in her voice so you nudge her ass with your heel again, “stop it or i’ll get up and take the duvet with me,” she warns, shifting her hands to hold your hips and scooting up the bed a little so she can lean down and look you in the eye. you hesitate, searching her eyes for a moment to decide how serious you think she is before you bend your knee and use your toes to poke her thigh.
she stares down at you for a second before she shakes her head fondly and leans down to kiss the corner of your mouth. you think you’ve gotten away with it for a moment longer before she stands up and tugs the duvet from your scrambling hands, throwing it to the other side of the room and ignoring your complaints. you curl up in the warm spot left on the mattress and turn your back to her, tugging her pillow over your face when she turns the light on despite your continued whining.
“i warned you, drama queen,” she replies as she walks past the bed again, her hand darting out to grab your ankle when you attempt to kick her. you wiggle desperately when she begins to peel your socks off though your struggling doesn’t deter her and once she’s tossed both of your socks in the same direction as the duvet, she tickles the bottom of your foot until there’s tears gathering in your eyes, “c’mon, get up, if we’re quick we can still be first in line for eggs,” she tells you when she finally has mercy, you kick her gently in the thigh when she lets go of your ankle, only escaping a second round of tickling because you sit up faster than she can grab you.
“kiss first,” you hum, crawling to the edge of the mattress and kneeling up so your face is level with hers. you rest your hands on her shoulders and nudge your nose against hers before you kiss her, on the lips this time since she’d turned the light on and there’s no guesswork involved, “morning,” you mumble against her lips, smiling when she kisses you again.
“morning to you, too,” she whispers, she’s smiling when she removes her lips from yours and she nudges her nose against yours before she steps away to get dressed.
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hii! could you possibly do kaeya x reader where theyre exes but purposely try to make each other jealous (flirting/sleeping w other ppl) but they kinda both end up having sex (i feel like this is too specific sorry lol) 😭
i totally recommend you check out my little series on ao3 called amidst my memories bc its just. you and ex kaeya fucking but y’all get back together at the end :3 i haven’t really felt like writing smut so i’m not going to do it like super intensively BUT thankfully amidst my memory is just. porn with feelings
Unfortunately for the two of you you managed to retain a similar group of friends. All of your friends were mutual friends with the other which meant that you two saw each other pretty much constantly. It was also clear to everybody but yourselves but the two of you were nowhere near over the other person, trying to keep it low key to avoid annoying all of your friends, but struggling to actually do so with the way that the other person would always manage to be brought into the conversation if things got too quiet.
You both decided to stoop low pretty much immediately, trying to one up each other whenever you were in the same room. At this point your friends would just ignore the two of you as you “talked” to them - read: tried to brag about how someone hot hit on you or that you’re doing this really great thing that your ex wouldn’t let you do. It never mattered if it was true or not. As far as you were concerned all that mattered was that it pulled a reaction somehow.
One day Kaeya took it a step further, bringing a new date to a friendly outing with everyone. The tension in the air was palpable, so much so that his date came up with a weak excuse to leave as soon as they could. His friends pulled him aside to tell him what a stupid idea it was and your friends reassured you that he only did that to get on your nerves. You were fully aware that was true, but that didn’t stop you from fuming anyway, stopping him on his way out and demanding what he was trying to pull.
You ended up going back to his place, Kaeya citing that screaming at him in the middle of the street was probably not a good idea for anybody and your friends trying to convince you it wasn’t a good idea. The two of you broke up “mutually” supposedly, but neither of you actually wanted to leave. It was just a heat of the moment argument and nobody decided they wanted to admit they were wrong which lead you both here, making out against the wall of his bedroom as he desperately tried to grind your hips against his.
You can’t help the way you feel as his hands roam your body with a practised ease, heart fluttering at the thought that for whatever reason he still remembers everything you like. His lips dance across your skin as do his moans and you can’t help but return his enthusiasm with a harsh buck of your hips against him.
“Kaeya don’t-”
“I know what you’re going to say and I’m not going to tease you. It’s been too long for you since the last time we were together and I don’t want to hurt you.”
Tears slip from your eyes and you try desperately to wipe them away, not expecting the soft touch of his fingers against your cheek. He lets you rest your face in his palm before surging forward to kiss him hard, erasing any thoughts he might have had on his mind.
It takes him no time to have you laying on your back, thighs clenching tightly over his hips as he leans over your body and fucks you roughly. His eyes roam your body hungrily, hair tossed over his shoulder so prettily it takes your breath away. You wish you could stare at him more, burn this image into your brain but the way the head of his cock hits against that spot that makes you see stars paired with the practised motions of his hand over your sex make it impossible for you to focus.
His breath heaves in your ear and you can hear him muttering your name under his breath like a prayer as he bends over you, sliding your hips up to rest on his thighs so he can keep you where he wants you, trying to make you cum before him. He doesn’t have to try hard, your body already so wound up from the looks he was giving you all evening.
When you finally cum all over him he cums immediately afterwards, moaning loudly at the feeling of your hole clenching over him so tightly he can barely move. He doesn’t pull out until a few minutes afterwards, shuddering as he litters more kisses against your skin. Wordlessly he asks you to stay the night and you respond in kind, melting into his bedsheets and letting him pull you into his chest.
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I LOVE the way you drew ryomina they are soooo 🥺💖🥰🥺🥺🥰🥰🥺🥺💖💖
Curious, I would love to know if you have more personal headcanons for them! I love your art of Minato wearing glasses
Good luck in uni!!!! Hope you have an amazing day/night ^^
THANK YOU ANON :D !!!!!
and yes I have a few more hcs !! thanks for asking hehe now i get to ramble >:)
I have some hcs regarding fashion and such !! I've kinda been thinking about this a bunch ever since I made those casual outfits for ryoji
-ryoji loves expressing himself through fashion, he really enjoys experimenting with clothes and discovering his style
-he likes going on shopping outings with yukari (minato has been dragged along a lot as well) (yukamitsu ryomina double shopping dates !!)
-ryoji's a big fan of yellow and also just any bright colours that go well with it. he's a bright and colourful boy :>
-minato never really cared much about fashion or style, a t-shirt is usually just good enough for him (his style is just. if its comfy and it looks nice then its good) and he's not a fan of bright colours or anything that makes him stand out too much. ryoji's been trying to get him to experiment a bit
and here's some of my more general hcs for them ^_^
-ryoji's a lot quieter when its just him and minato and minato smiles more around ryoji (minato is completely unaware of how much he smiles in ryojis presence and he'll get a lil embarrassed if someone points it out)
-minato's sleepy and tired all of the time. chronically sleepy (<- lol). god's sleepiest soldier. but he feels super comfortable having naps around ryoji. sleeping when he's nearby just feels safe.
-if ryoji and minato are hanging out at the dorm together, there is a fairly high chance that minato will end up asleep.
-also i like to imagine that if the two of them have a movie night at the dorm, they'll both end up asleep by the end with koromaru all cosied up with them too (<- i should draw this sometime)
-minato's super introverted. while he loves spending time around the ppl he cares about, he only has so much energy for socialising. ryoji is the one person minato can spend all his day around without draining the social battery
-also minato's a pretty quiet guy, he's a man of little words. he prefers to listen to people, rather than be the one leading the conversation. and bcs ryoji and mina know eachother like they know themselves, they don't always need to communicate verbally. I like to think they spend a lot of their time sitting in comfortable silence together
-ryoji's super fascinated and interested by all the simple joys in life. whenever he's out with minato he'll point out things like pretty flowers, birds, the way the clouds look. and they'll stop to admire the sunset if they're out late. and of course minato takes a lot of interest in the things ryoji points out to him :>
also i hc ryoji as bi and minato as greyromantic ace ^_^ !! ryoji and minato's relationship is something so much more than a typical romantic relationship to me
#also i saw this in my inbox this morning but i didn't have the time to answer until now#i just want u to know that i was up very late last night working on an essay and seeing this this morning brightened my day a bunch :D#so i appreciate the ask anon <3 !!#also i hope u enjoy my ramble about the boys :> i ended up typing out way more than i expected to lol#persona 3#ryomina#ontos.text#i care these two so much they live in my brain constantly#btw i was fighting for my life trying to focus on that essay bcs i was constantly having images of ryomina being projected into my brain#like how's a man supposed to focus under those conditions#anyways !! now that I'm free from essay hell I'm gonna go relax by drawing them some more ehehe
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as a lover of drunk kuai liang i need those headcanons 🤲
mwahahahaha yeeeeeeeessssss
complete lightweight, his only advantage is his size but still, he's gonna have trouble walking very quickly
Favorite drink is a cider bc it tastes like juice and isn't too strong, he likes apple ciders best
Has stages of drunkenness that Johnny has dedicated many hours of research to categorizing (think of it like amy from b99)
Stage 1: Tipsy Statue, he's feeling the effects of the alcohol but refuses to let anyone realize that so he just stays as still and quiet as possible (forgets to blink too, which is the give away)
Stage 2: Loosey Goosey, very relaxed now, will laugh more easily and kinda forgets that he's trying to hide the fact that he's a little drunk. Also gets tactile, like he'll lean against ppl and his need for personal space is drastically reduced.
Stage 3: Koala Bear, all inhibitions thrown to the wind, becomes a total chatterbox, Will sit on someone's lap (usually Hanzo's) and can also be easily convinced to dance nightclub style, much to his horror in the morning
Stage 4: Bed Time, now struggling to walk and stay awake (bc too much alcohol makes him very sleepy) one of the defenders (again, usually Hanzo) is charged with taking him home and putting him to bed.
Kuai Liang once spent two whole hours at one of Johnny's parties sitting in Hanzo's lap, resting his head on the guy's shoulder and playing with his hands. Hanzo was oddly silent during the entire exchange (wonder why)
Johnny used to take videos of his drunken shenanigans (rare tho they might be) until Kuai Liang broke his phone and threatened his kneecaps. Johnny has since backed off.
Has only actually been convinced to dance nightclub style twice (both times by Johnny) and the only reason it hasn't happened more often is because dude rarely drinks.
Hanzo spent the entirety of both situations watching and trying desperately to fight back the urge to either a) drag him off the dance floor and away from Johnny bc Jealous or b) go up there and join him which no amount of alcohol can get him to do.
Chatty, drunk Kuai Liang is so chatty, he's fully just lost his brain to mouth filter so he will just Say Shit. Most of the time its either complimenting Hanzo, thanking Jax and Johnny for their friendship, or insulting Raiden.
He also gets giggly, like everything is funny and he can't stop laughing.
never gets hangovers (or if he does, no one can tell) and everyone is jealous.
Tho he isn't one to be easily embarrassed, he is always mortified that the defenders have seen him drunk after the fact, which is part of why he doesn't drink often. The other and main reason is bc he doesn't like having his faculties compromised
Did once wake up in Hanzo's bed after one of Johnny's parties, panic, and race out of the house shirtless (bc he couldn't find it and heard footsteps coming) only to be told that Hanzo had tried to take him to the Lin Kuei temple instead but Koala Bear Kuai Liang refused to let go of Hanzo for even a second and so eventually (bc he needed to sleep damnit) Hanzo just gave up and brought him back to the Shirai Ryu to sleep there.
"How did I end up shirtless then?" "You said it was, quote, 'too fucking hot in here,' ripped your shirt off, and then wraped around me like an octopus" "..........."
That's all I've got rn, but I can think of more, lemme know if y'all want em.
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I need posh boy old money king steve turned hero to fall in love with the (and i mean this affectionately) the most grubby slob of a girl ever. Like imagine clean, put together Steve “the hair” Harrington with the type of girl who sleeps in her makeup, has acne, lives in a trailer park, is like missing a front tooth from fucking around with her friends or like from eating shit on a skateboard, just a greasy, grungy, stoner, dude bro type girl.
The switch from being in love with princess Nancy wheeler, to flirting with these cute preppy girls at work, to befriending and falling for this walking garbage pile who is super sarcastic and bitchy, burps in ppls faces as a joke, never has her shoes tied, wears dirty wife beaters and flannels with ripped up patchy jeans that have grass stains on them.
I’m TIRED of soft clean small preppy characters who get emotional and are so shy and quiet. I just feel like the dynamic would be so fun and Steve would have like a moral dilemma like he did when Dustin convinced him he had a crush on Robin.
They would meet through Eddie or Robin and she’s just like the walking loser and at first Steve is like off-put bby her behavior bc like gross but like finds himself falling for her or something idk I didn’t think that far ahead but I need more diverse readers bc all of them are pink frilly preppy shy girls or soft bookworms which are great but like… JUST THINK ABOUT NEW DYNAMICS!!
as a writer (I rlly can’t call myself a writer) I try to make reader loud and confident and outgoing bc every other reader fits in the soft girl aesthetic. I need bitchy, messy, dirty, adventurous, loud, just grubby girls! Dirty bed sheets, trashed rooms, scuffed shoes, ketchup stains idk it doesn’t even have to be a Steve fic literally any fic in this fandom could have this type of dynamic bc reader personalities are lacking in diversity lowkey and I love grubby
OMG LIKE IMAGINE NANCY X GRUBBY READER!! Fuck Steve this, this right here would be such a hilarious dynamic and I NEED it. Nancy is like the opposite of what I described she’s pretty, and clean, and headstrong, and focused. With like a dirty adhd tomboy gf (ronance but grubbier) like it’s so perfect.
Even Robin with a gf who like has no concern for her own safety and Robin is spitting facts about how the mold growing on the cups on R’s bedside table could result in life or death sickness or something idk it would be so perfect
I LOVE GRUBBY DIRTY GIRLS I’m tired of unrealistic cleanliness in fics girls are gross and it’s ok
#stranger things x reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#eddie munson x reader#robin buckley x reader#nancy wheeler x reader#🪲 blurb#johnathan byers x reader#stranger things fic#stranger things blurb
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salt, ice and fire | frank castle
chapter twenty - house training
warnings: explicit content 18+ (oral m receiving, mxf). mentions of death, injuries, canon typical violence. tiny slight bit of matt x karen but blink and u miss it really. they r just friends.
a/n: told u the next one was coming FAST. and it’s long too. also thx to everyone who said they enjoyed the frank w the kid situation going on, i was going to breeze thru their time together bc i didn’t think ppl would like that, but i added a lil part in this chapter just for u guys!! i love this chapter so much omfg. the whole gang is here!!!!
[series masterlist] [previous chapter]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
It’s 4am and Frank Castle is wide awake.
Six months ago that was fine. He didn’t sleep much at the best of times. Even when he was in the army he couldn’t shut his brain off. Always thinking of what he needed to do tomorrow, if he’d be able to get home soon, what he was missing out on at home. He couldn’t stop thinking about Maria, his kids, what they might be doing, if they were safe. Even when it wasn’t about them it was involuntary— he just couldn’t shut it off.
But now, it feels like torture. It’s because of you— ever since that night in the hotel where you curled up next to him after he’d dragged you out of the water, he’d slept like a god damn baby. Just knowing you were in the room somewhere close, safe, in a four step radius from him. It just meant he didn’t have to think about any of that other shit. You were right there, and all he had to do was reach out and you’d be safe.
Now, he was cramped in a single bed trying to drown out the loud snores of a kid who’s clearly never had a good nights sleep in his life. He was laying like a starfish on his bed, out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. At least he felt safe enough to sleep here— some shitty hotel probably looked like a palace to him.
He’d already tried to call Madani about nine times in the past few hours, but she hadn’t so much as texted him. The one time he actually wanted her to call him, she doesn’t. It makes him feel sick— if something had happened to you, and he’d let you just drive away, he’d never forgive himself. Sam would never forgive him either.
Just as he’s about to try and close his eyes again, the phone in his bag buzzes. It’s quiet, but he’s been listening out for it inadvertently for fucking hours— it’s like an alarm. Ripping the phone out of his bag, he moves about as quiet as a bull, slamming out the door and closing it behind him, the small balcony about as much privacy as he could afford.
“Madani. I’ve been calling for fucking hours. Tell me—“
“Hey, Frank.” He has to put a hand on the railing to keep himself steady. Even just your voice, slow and soft through a muffled speaker manages to strip all that shit away and his eyes close, trying to breathe.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
“You haven’t slept.” Even through the phone you can read him like an open book.
“Neither have you.” You laugh quietly, and he can hear the quiet hum on of engine behind the sound of you.
“You get out okay?”
“We’re fine.”
“We?” He slides down the railing, his head feeling heavier now. Madani hadn’t told you. He doesn’t know how you’ll react, if you even wanted him to do this— you’d told him Sam wasn’t his responsibility, but he just looked so…sad.
“They were gonna put him in a foster home. I didn’t think I…”
“Sam’s with you?” Your voice is hardly above a whisper, and Frank can’t tell if it’s because you’re angry or you’re trying not to be heard.
“Yeah. Thought it might be easier for when you come back. He looked bad— back at the house. They didn’t know where he was gonna go.” There’s silence again, and his eyes close, listening to the sound of you breathing. He could fall asleep out here on the balcony to that sound.
“You didn’t have to do that for me.” Your voice shakes, like you might start to cry.
“Yeah, I know. The kid looked sad, though.”
“Softie.” He’s smiling so big like you’ve just told him some great fucking thing, but really it’s just because he can hear you now, making fun of him and it’s only been a few hours but he fucking missed it. Missed it so bad.
“Where are you?” He keeps his eyes closed as you tell him everything that’s happened, how you were heading back to Murdock’s place with Karen to lay low until he could figure something out for you. He swallowed his pride and hummed in agreement, knowing that was something he couldn’t do for you. It’s why he’d suggested it.
The sound of your voice was doing something to him that he couldn’t place, wrenching something free in his chest that had been stuck longer than he’d admit. He kept asking you things about the cases Madani brought up, if she’d told you anything about the Gnuccis and where Bobby might be now.
“Frank?”
“Hm?”
“You could meet me there. Only a few hours away now.” He knows Murdocks place. It’s not far from him either.
“Just a few hours, yeah?” You sigh, and if he concentrates he can see the face your pulling, eyes fluttered shut and your head back. He’s glad the wind is cold as shit out here, cause he needs to focus.
“Think you can hold out that long?” He’s laughing again, leaning back against the door.
“You think you can do any better?” Your breath hitches on the other line. “Missed your voice.”
“It’s only been a few hours.”
“So?”
“Yeah. Missed yours too.” You say it quietly, muffled slightly so no one else in the car can hear you.
“You miss anything else?” His voice is low and heavy, and you let out an even longer sigh. He sees your face behind his closed eyes again, and nearly groans.
“I’m in the car, Frank.”
“I’m not.” You let out a soft curse, and it’s probably meant to be a warning but it sounds too fucking good. It’s like being starved, being away from you. He’s way too attached, he knows it’s not the time or the place but he never gets that right anyways, and he just needs to hear you. “Sound so pretty when you swear like that.”
“I’m going to hang up.”
“Nah. You missed me, didn’t you?”
“You’re an asshole.” Someone coughs on your end of the line and he hears you straighten up. “Does Sam seem okay?”
“Yeah. He’s fine. Eats like a horse.” He lets you change the subject. If you were asking about anyone else he wouldn’t. Just a few fucking hours.
“I’m scared he’s gonna be messed up. I don’t know what they did to him.” You shuffle again, and it sounds like you might cry again.
“Hey, don’t worry, okay? He’s alright. He ate a burger, slept, asked me a million questions and messed around with the radio for seven hours. Most normal kid I’ve seen.” A short, breathy laugh flows through the receiver. “He’s gonna be fine.”
“Thank you, for taking him with you. I wouldn’t trust anyone else.” He can’t keep his eyes open any longer, mumbling back some kind of response. “Need to sleep. I’ll—I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah. Real soon.” The receiver clicks off before he can say anything else. He doesn’t know how to navigate this shit— navigate you. He should of just said it. Said fucking something at least.
Real soon. Jesus Christ. He meant to tell you… when they shoved you in that car he should of said it back.
Sliding the door back open, he walks straight back to bed and his legs give out as soon as he finds the edge. He manages to sleep now, memories of you sending him unconscious in a matter of minutes.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
“Shit!” Frank flies upward at the sound, reaching for the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans. He looks to the left and sees the kids bed empty, then hears something else break behind him.
The bathroom light is on, and he doesn’t think— the worst already running through his head. He kicks the door down, snapping the lock in one go, and the first thing he sees is the blood.
“Fuck!” The kid swears again, jumping backwards away from the aim of the gun, broken glass cracking under his feet. He backs up to the opposite wall so fast, Frank hasn’t even dropped his gun yet. “I’m sorry!”
“What the hell are you doing?!” He’s half asleep and not thinking right, dropping the gun, but the words come out angry and harsh. Blood’s running down the kids arm from his hand, which is clenched in a tight fist like he’s getting ready for a fight.
“I didn’t mean to— the light wasn’t working and I hate the dark! I thought if I just twisted the bulb… I’ve done it before but it smashed—“ He looked a lot younger than he is right now— skinny, folded over, eyes still darker than normal. Frank takes a step forward, glass from the broken bulb and cover crunching under his foot, and Sam straightens, his hand shaking a little. “I’m sorry— I thought I could—“
“It’s okay. It’s fine, yeah?” He tries, something about him being scared of him making him want to vomit. “You hurt?”
“No.” Blood continues to drip down his arm, and he’s still sticking to the corner of the bathroom. Frank goes to take another step, and more glass crunches. Looking down, there’s blood and glass all over, and the kid doesn’t have any shoes on.
“Just— stay there.” He’s staring at the floor, and Frank sighs, having no idea how to handle this— handle him. You were already scared he was going through shit you couldn’t help him with, the last thing you needed was to have Frank make it worse.
It wasn’t all that new to Frank, though— not the twelve year old kid, but the frozen reaction he had when Frank burst through the door, or the way he backed up and put as much distance between himself and Frank as possible. It was basic survival instinct, and he’s guessing the last time someone aimed a gun at this kid they weren’t trying to help him.
He came back into the bathroom to find Sam standing next to the sink, balancing on the toilet seat to avoid the glass, washing the cut on his hand. Using an old t-shirt, Frank managed to swipe away most of the mess to a corner of the room, the only noise the crunch of glass and the running water.
“You want me to take a look at it?” Frank breaks the silence, and the kids face doesn’t move, just stays staring at his hand.
“I’m sorry. About the light.” Sam says, and Frank stands, moving towards him slowly.
“Ah. Shit happens.” He shrugs, and Sam finally flicks his eyes up to him for half a second.
“I couldn’t do it.” Frank hardly hears it over the water, but he just keeps as still as he can, afraid to scare him off. “They wanted me to do what she did. Hurt people… and I couldn’t do it. I tried— but I never did it. Maybe if I could of, she wouldn’t be—“
“Hey— none of this is your fault. You hear me?” He crouches down, his forearm leaning on the edge of the sink. “Anything they did is on them alone.”
“She did it for me. Why couldn’t I do it for her? I could of tried harder. I’m not a kid anymore.” Frank knows he’s crying but doesn’t say anything about it.
“Let me see your hand.” Wordlessly, he reaches out, and Frank rifles through a tiny first aid kit, finding tweezers to start to pull the tiny shards of glass out. “The only thing your sister was worried about this whole time was you. It’s what older siblings are meant to do.”
“But I— ow.” Frank takes out a small piece of glass, and Sam flinches, but doesn’t pull away. Frank takes that as some kind of progress. “I wanted to help her. Like she helped me.”
“She did it because she wanted you to stay alive. And you did. You did everything you had to do.” Dropping the tweezers, Frank dries his hand. “Sometimes, the only thing you can do is keep going. Even if the people you care about the most aren’t there to help you do it.”
“Yeah.” To his credit, Frank bandages his hand without having to tell him not to move, and after he lets go, he stands, feeling the kids eyes on him. “They always came when it was dark. To try and make me… I don’t want the lights to be off.”
“I’ll leave the front one on.” Sam nods.
“Thanks. For—“ He holds up a now bandaged hand, and Frank just nods back.
“Go to sleep. We leave in a couple hours. Your sister called.” For the first time since he was eating, he smiles a little, then turns around and walks out of view.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
“Mornin’ sweetheart.” You hear in his voice but you don’t move, not wanting anything to wake you from this perfect dream. It feels so real, you swear you could even feel the warmth of his words on the shell of your ear, the press of his skin to yours.
One of his hands is splayed on your lower back, touching the small sliver of skin where your shirt rides up. You shuffle down slightly, encouraging him to go higher, and when he does you nearly purr with satisfaction. His chest presses against your arm with each inhale, and he leans closer, placing one sweet kiss to the side of your temple.
Your eyes reluctantly flutter open, but you can still feel the warmth of his palm, rough and soothing along your back. He kisses you again, and you know you can feel it; the dip of the bed as he leans forward, the warmth of his mouth, slowly kissing under your jaw, moving down your neck. You were conscious now, only just, but enough to think thoughts with some kind of rational.
“Frank?” He couldn’t be here. He was hours away. You swear you only fell asleep in Matts spare room an hour ago, there’s no way he was already here…
His nose brushes against your jaw, and his mouth is all softness as he looks up, finally hovering in front of you, pulling you awake with a slow press of his mouth to yours.
“Mhmm.” He hums against you. Every time his hand strokes up your back, your shirt comes up a little more. You shiver slightly, and he pulls you closer, your body turning to face him. He pulls back and kisses the tip of your nose. Your eyes fly open fully.
“You’re here.” Your arms don’t move as fast as you will them to, but instead they slowly wrap around his neck, and he smiles when you finally kiss him back. You shuffle up to taste more of him, feeling the soft strands of your now clean hair fall over your face. Frank groans, his tongue meeting yours with a desperate pull, fingers tracing the line of your cheekbone.
He takes control, flipping you underneath him now he knows your awake. He follows every single tired, subtle hint you give him so you don’t have to think— just feel him. Your back arches, and he knows you want him to wrap an arm under you, hold you up against his chest. Your fingers thread through his hair and he ducks down, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, finding all the places he’s claimed as his.
You sigh as he slots himself between your legs, groaning your name in a horse tone when he feels your not wearing anything besides the shirt. As his hand slides over your hip, he pulls back to find the hem of it, then stops moving completely, hovering over you with a confused look on your face.
“Who’s shirt is this?” Blinking a few times, still coming out of your sleepy state, you tilt your head.
“What?”
“Where’d you get it?”
“I don’t know? Matt gave me some cl-”
“You’re wearing Murdock’s clothes? In his bed?” Rolling your eyes, his hand on your hip tightens a little, the other tucking your hair behind your ear.
“Frank. He’s helping me— he was being nice.” He leans down to kiss you, taking your bottom lip between his teeth lightly.
“Yeah. Real nice of ‘im.”
“This was your idea. You called him, didn’t you?” He inhales deeply, like he’s trying to savour the smell of you.
“To be your lawyer. Not walk around in his clothes.”
“Well, I’m sure he’d like it just as much if I walked around naked.” He groans, burying his face in your neck. “Please don’t tell me your jealous right now.”
“Tryin’ not to be.” His teeth now drag lightly along the sensitive part of your neck, just under your ear, and you gasp.
“I just needed a shirt.” In one movement, he slips the shirt you were wearing over your head, throwing it somewhere in the room, and then takes his own off. “Happy?”
“Fuckin’ thrilled.” He peppers you with kisses even though your laughing, but when he presses his weight down between your legs you breathe his name, eyes closing, feeling that warm, shuddering feeling flood your body again.
“Wait... wait where’s—”
“Karen and Matt took him out for food. Told you the kid eats like a horse.” You should probably ask more questions, make sure he’s okay, but Frank leans down again, kisses you so deeply that the dreamlike feeling comes back and nothing else matters— nothing else can matter but the feeling of having Frank like this.
His hands wander all over your body, scorching heat trailing every line his fingers trace. He pulls you down the mattress, torso lined below his mouth. He looks up at you, making sure you see his face when he kisses his way down a little lower. He murmurs words against your skin, your hands brushing through his hair, simultaneously pushing him down and tugging him toward you.
“Frank...”
“What do you need?” He stops moving, head resting on the top of your thigh. The sight is fucking dizzying— how his hands look hooked around your legs, his eyes half dazed. You tug on his hair lightly, and he frowns, but follows your movement. Once he’s hovering above you, you flip him over in one move, sucking in a breath when the warmth of his chest presses against your thighs.
He moves where you put him, one hand in your hair, the other reaching out for you, running along your back, then your shoulder as you shuffle lower, and when you roll the waistband of his boxers down, his free hand fists into the sheets. Blinking up at him, he looks completely gone, his eyes only half open and his knuckles white with restraint.
You couldn’t help it, some baseline thing inside of you just wanting to give an inch of what he’s given to you. And he has─given so fucking much to you. Given you anything you asked for and more. You want to give him what he needs now— you.
You take him into your mouth, and you can’t hold the moan you let out at the taste of him. His hand tightens in your hair, wrapping around the length of it in a makeshift ponytail. He says your name, over and over, and with each slow motion of your mouth you take more of him in. You’re greedy— swirling your tongue around his head, taking your time to memorise the taste of him, the way he sounds when you take him deeper.
“Fuck— so fu— shit.” His head falls back, the rest of the words getting lost in choked out moans. The broken way he’s trying to tell you how good it feels only spurs you on, taking him deeper, not caring what you sound like or look like, only caring that he feels as good as he gives.
Taking him to the back of your throat, you swallow around him, and he borderline growls before the hand in your hair pulls you up slowly. You know it’s messy but you get the feeling he likes it, the way he holds you there, inches above him, his eyes flitting over your face.
“You’re fucking gorgeous.” He says lowly, and pulls you up so quick your arms give out, but he’s too fast for you to care. Swinging you underneath him, his mouth is on you, swallowing you like he’s never had you before. It’s desperate and messy, and it’s everything you missed about him, teeth and tongue and hands are all you can focus on.
It’s what it’s always like with him— everything ceases to exists, nothing else matters when he’s here in front of you, when he’s kissing you like you really are that fucking gorgeous and he can’t get enough. One arm wraps around his neck, the other is taken above your head by his free hand, fingers interlocking.
It’s something he does a lot when your like this, and you can almost read him through it. How his hand gets tighter the longer he fucks you, how he holds it there and doesn’t let go, keeps one hand on you until it’s no longer possible. Like he needs to keep you in arms reach. It makes you feel safe, and when he slides into you, there’s no where else in the world that’s felt more right.
Neither of you say anything other than each others names as he drives into you, slow and deep. It feels perfect— right, and when he pulls back to look at your face, there’s something you go to say. Something you’ve said only once, and something he didn’t say back. Three little words, yet they feel so heavy in your chest.
You didn’t expect him to, and really, if this was all you got from him, the way each stroke makes you feel like you’re on fire, and how he kisses you with so much hunger it makes you light headed, you could live with it. It means something different to him— he’s had that before, and maybe it’s not something he wants to have again, but you do. You can’t help it. Not when he’s looking at you like he is now.
“Frank…” You shudder as the hand on your hip trails softly across your stomach, down between your legs to circle your clit. He hums, the feeling against your collarbone as he dips his head to kiss you there, driving you closer to the edge.
“That’s it, baby. Taking me so fucking good.” He speeds up, lifting his head and pressing his forehead to yours. His hand squeezes yours and you’re pretty sure your eyes roll back in your head, the rhythm of his hand and hips sending you into over drive.
“Close, Frankie. Please—“ You beg for everything he’s already giving you, and he obliges.
“Atta girl. Let go for me.” He whispers into your ear, and your release cracks open from your chest and floods your body with warmth, your thighs already shaking around Frank. “Fuck— that’s its, I fucking… I love you.”
At the last second he pulls out, and you feel him spill onto your bare skin, the sensation only sending you further into your own pleasure. His mouth is on you in the second after his confession, telling you everything all at once, but you are too blissed out to know the magnitude of it.
The gentle caress of his thumb over your knuckles where your hands are joined brings you down, and the solid weight of his body on yours takes your focus, allowing your heart beat to slowly return to normal.
He picks up a shirt and cleans you off slowly, then slides another one over your head. It smells like him— his shirt. You’ve worn it before, but then in dawns on you that the only other shirt in the room was the one you were wearing before. Matt’s shirt, that he just used to clean you off after—
“Tell me you didn’t just use what I think you did.” He doesn’t lift his head from where it’s buried in the crook of your neck, but he doesn’t need to. You feel him smile, and you’d have the mind to say something but he’s so real and he’s here— that when he picks up his head and smiles at you, you just kiss him again. “I hope you plan to wake me up like that every morning.”
“You don’t wear anything else other than this—“ His hand fists the shirt you have on “— and I’ll do whatever you want.”
“How’d you get here so fast?” He pulls you onto his chest, and you squint, the sun shining brightly into your face.
“Not that fast. It’s 3pm.” Your fingers trace soft lines along his chest, straying further down when you touch the metal chain that holds his wedding ring. “Besides, had a little motivation to get me here.”
“A blowjob?”
“Jesus.” You look up, seeing him turn his head away from you to try and hide the red in his face, and burst out laughing.
“I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t know if I’d see you after they—”
“I would’ve come found you wherever they took you.” It’s only one sentence but it makes your heart feel like it’s on fire. “But that’s not what I meant. I—“
You both hear the door open, and three voices fill the once quiet apartment.
“Later.” You whisper to him and swing out of the bed, very aware of how Franks eyes trail you when you stand, his shirt only just covering your ass. “Clothes?”
“Bags in the bathroom.” His hands rest under his head, making no move to get up.
You grab some clothes, making a conscious effort to take Matt’s dirty shirt off the floor and shove it underneath your bag, and quickly change before the voices outside the door get too close. Coming out of the bathroom, Frank has found another shirt, and is doing up his belt Once his hands are free they are on you, like he’s holding on to the last three seconds of time alone you have.
As much as you can’t wait to see your brother just outside— you know he’s safe, and you can hear him laugh at something, so you lean into the touch, coming up on your toes and turning your head to kiss him. He groans against your mouth, feeling your fingertips tread through his hair, and if the voices weren’t so close to the door, you’d lock it and keep him here all day.
“Later.” He says before kissing you on the forehead and letting you go, heading towards the door.
Opening it, your feet move faster than your brain does, and Sam spots you as soon as you walk into the room. He calls your name, giving you enough time to see his face— safe and smiling, before he grabs you and hugs you tight.
“Missed you too.” When he lets go, you bend down, and then you see his bandaged hand. “What’s this?”
“Tried to change a lightbulb. Don’t worry about it.” Frank answers for him, and the two of them look at each other with some kind of knowing look, but Sam looks grateful so you don’t push it.
“You been okay?” Sam nods, looking over to Karen and Matt.
“Yeah. I ate six pancakes for lunch. They just kept bringing them on these plates! It was fucking cool.” You can’t wipe the giant grin off your face, and you turn to Karen and Matt.
“Thank you.” Karen smiles and Matt shrugs, and then you remember what you’re here for. “I’m really— I don’t know how to repay you guys for everything. If there’s anything you need from me…”
“All I need is time. And for you to keep your guard dog from peeing on my floor.” Matt motions to Frank, and before you can figure out how he knows where exactly Frank is, he’s continuing. “Bobby Gnucci is AWOL. Without him, we have to rely entirely on getting Agent Madani to grant you immunity after the fact.”
“After the fact of what?”
“When you came to her the first time, and said you’d work with her, you didn’t sign anything. There wasn’t any record of it, there was no terms— no one even knew your face. Now she’s got you on record, and practically extracted all the information she needs to clear her own name. Knowing her, she’s not going to throw you under the bus, but without Bobby…” It’s clear even Matt is still trying to work through this thing. He sits down on the couch in front of him, Karen moving around next to him. “We have two options.”
“Okay.”
“One, we go to trial. That means sitting you in front of a public jury, your face and your brothers plastered on every newspaper and television in New York. It won’t be long before it turns national, considering your… record.”
“You’re supposed to win trials. You’re a god damn lawyer— it’s your job.” Frank says, standing behind you.
“I didn’t say we wouldn’t win. I said it would be public. Everyone would know you. Ignoring public opinion, the thing that’s been keeping you safe all these years is the fact that no one knows who you are. Once they put a face to the name… you’ve killed people in almost every major gang and organisation in the country. Bobby could be the least of your worries.” You swallow hard. Having enemies in New York was hard enough to track— let alone the entire country. And then your brother would be involved… you look to Frank, who knows exactly what it means to have enemies who would stop at nothing to hurt you, including going through one’s you love.
“Option two?” You say hopefully, and Matt sighs.
“Did you ever read what happened after the Punisher trial?” The question confuses you, but you rack your brain. You remember reading about the trial, and how hated he was. You don’t think you ever asked about the outcome, although you assumed he got out. He’s here, and free— which is more you can say for you.
“I don’t think so?”
“They killed him.” Karen says, and you laugh for a second before you realise she’s not joking.
“What��s that supposed to mean?”
“Madani. She faked my death in a shootout. Said I got caught in the crossfire. Made me a passport and got me a new life just outside the city.” Frank continues, and you turn to face him.
“And that worked?”
“For a while.” He says, a hand brushing yours. He looks back up to Matt. “You reckon she’d go for it?”
“Not without a lot of work. I’d need time. And a reason for you to…”
“Die? Surely we can find that. People get shot every day in New York.”
“Your brother, too. And it would still mean your faces go public. It has to be big.” You look at Frank, and he’s got that trained look in his eye that tells you he’s thinking the same thing as you.
“You said Bobby went AWOL. How do you know?” You pick up the newspaper on the desk, reading over Karen’s article about the death of the Colonel.
“Ever since they got Sam out, he’s disappeared. No phone calls, no emails, not even a ping on any of their networks. It’s like he’s completely disappeared.” Karen says.
There’s one place you can think of. One place that’s dark enough, lonely enough and isolated enough that someone could disappear for weeks, months even and no one would ever know. One place that no one would be looking anymore because it’s supposed to be desolate and evacuated.
“I’ve got a feeling we can avoid that all together.” You look up at Frank, and he smirks. “Feel like another road trip?”
“Road trip?” Karen asks, and they both stand from the couch.
“Washington D.C. He’ll be there.” Frank says as you put the article down.
“How do you know?”
“There’s only one place I know where a guy like that can disappear. Plus, he’s sentimental. He knows I know where he’ll be, and he wants me to come to him.”
He wants you to come back to him— that was the real truth, but there’s only one man you’d cross state lines for, one man you’d cross anything for, and he was standing right beside you, like he’d do for as long as you’d let him.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
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#frank castle#frank castle x reader#the punisher#frank castle x y/n#frank castle x you#marvel tv#the punisher x reader#the punisher x you#marvel#the punisher x y/n#frank castle fanfiction#frank castle fanfic#the punisher fanfiction
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Time to do that thing where when I can't make myself feel better I try to help other ppl again here we gooo
. You're not an annoyance
. You're not a burden
. You're more than what you create
. No, everything you make is not terrible
. The spark of creativity will come again
. You will one day feel proud of what you create again
. You're not alone in your pain
. You're not "faking it"
. People don't think you complain 24/7 just bc you're going through it
. Fuck it even if you do complain a lot you're allowed to
. Keeping everything to yourself and bottling shit up is not strength
. You do not have to be quiet about what hurts you
. You're allowed to feel bad
. You're allowed to make mistakes
. You're allowed to take up space
. You're allowed to speak and be loud
. You're allowed to make things for yourself and nobody else
. Healing is not linear
. Other peoples' hardships are not more valid than your own
. If it hurts you, it means something
. If something small hurt you, it means something
. If someone close or even a stranger hurt you, it means something
. If you're sad for no reason, it's ok
. If you're scared for no reason, it's ok
. It's ok to sleep with the lights on
. It's ok to reach out for help
. It's okay to cry
. It's okay to struggle with eating/sleeping/getting out of bed
. You're enough
. This will pass
#fuck off depression#fuck off anxiety#fuck off imposter syndrome#I know healin isn't linear but jesus christ#it'd be nice to have a couple good days in a row#but in any case yea#I hope I can help make some ppl feel a bit better#mental health
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ok im making you all look at this, this is my essay on all the scenes with Ichimatsu in them from takopa, my explanations of why he does them and what they mean UNDER THE FILTER that Mao exists and this takes place simultaneously during my fic
SO I deffo think that takopa takes place, like, on the day it was released, like the evening they have the party is friday july 21st 2023, SO that would mean it takes place between chapters 9/10 and 11, 9 and 10 being the 'ichi stands mao up' and 'mao is hungover' ones that take place mid july, so im thinking 9/10 probably take place around the 17/18th maybe.... SO at the time of the takopa, Ichi and Mao's relationship is that they are finally officially friends, they know about each others neet/hikikomori status, but arent,,, like super close ... its before the festival chapter, so if that makes any sense
the first and second images dont have anything to do with Mao, i just think it's cute that hes just basking in the sun like a kitty cat.
the second one however, i think ichi stay home 1 bc hes a homebody but 2 bc he spent all his allowance and cant go see mao at the cafe
ok this is a big one, very loaded. see, his brothers outright ignoring him and not telling him whats going on? well that puts a downright bad and spiteful taste in his mouth, so he's already not going into it with the best attitude
and HERE!! RIGHT here is when ichimatsu decides to fall right back into his position in the family dynamic as the quiet one who follows along with the others, the one who takes the backseat approach to the dynamic. if his brothers are doing something, hes always just going to follow along to an extent to keep the status quo
ok so, ichi, like a cat, reserved to the idea of new ppl being in the house (nyaa and baby), as well as spiteful about the situation as a whole... he goes along with the brothers in the 'pining for totoko' thing because thats just... what they do, theyve been doing it since they were kids, so even if he were to realistically kinda back off from it, there would be questions, so hes just... hes just keeping in line, in his place... BUT HES NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!
after the bit with the takoyaki turning and ichi finally having fun, he realizes he CAN let loose a little and try to have a good time, sooooo now hes gonna be a little shit and mess with his brothers' chances at getting with totoko bc he can
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT .... ok ... so ichi is there and visibly nervous... nyaa opens the conversation about cats, to which he relaxes... he relaxes yes cause cats, but also nyaa... pink hair... pink hair and cats to him is mao ... its a bit easier to talk to nyaa in the context that he's just kinda thinking about mao.... nod nod nod nod
OK ALL OF THIS IS SO GHREDFLSGFLGBSL OKAY listen... Ichimatsu isn't with mao, but he's pining so hard and hes constantly thinking of the ways that he can incrimentally make homself better so he can be a guy they might be into... so he also, for some reason, thinks mao has experience/isnt a virgin, SO he thinks that he needs to step it up. If he were to get the chance to get an indirect kiss/finally pop his cherry, well, in his eyes he thinks he might be a better guy for mao, he won't be utterly pathetic. IN ADDITION, he picks nyaa because, lets face it, were he to actually gotten the opportunity to sleep with her, he'd be thinking of mao the whole time cause pink and cats... probably say their name too if im being toooootttallly honest... so yeah... he would want to do this to be able to not be such a loser for mao... even if he kinda does have that desire to have them be his first... but his desire to be more desirable to them outweighs his personal wishes if that makes sense....
anyway thats it, thats my post, maoichi real bc i said so
#takoyaki party spoilers#yes im dilullu#yes im normal and stable#we are not the same#anyway i love maoichi#they are so real to me and they were in takopa bc i said so....#ragh#RAAAGGGHHHH IM AMAZING#spice.ososan#maoichi#spice.txt
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hi ! so I’ve been deep in the tokrev tags and something magical brought you to my feed bcs I’ve been searching for someone that does matchups. I would like to ask if I could request a matchup with tokyo revengers.. please take your time getting to this!
my pronouns are she/her, I’m 1.72cm, I swear too much, my favorite color is green, I’m a Pisces, and I’m pretty much a bedroom goblin. If I’m not reading or drowning in my headphones, then I’m sleeping because I love my bed a lot.
Personality wise? I won’t say that I’m antisocial, but I’m a loner. 😭 I prefer my solitude (I don’t have a problem vibing by myself), but I would enjoy spending time with my friends if I had any. I’m pretty much unapproachable thanks to my severe case of RBF and I tend to stay away from big gatherings, but if I attend them I try to separate on my own in a corner after awhile (for some reason ppl still come up to me though, it confuses me greatly)…I’m actually softer once you get to know me though and I’ve been told I have a warm presence that makes it easy for people to gravitate towards me & talk about important things (I always know someone’s deep secrets 😭). It’s easy to talk to people, I just choose not to. 😭
I can be sarcastic and I’m also straightforward. When it comes to relationships/feelings/intimacy, platonic or romantic, I am VERY awkward, it’s hard showing & receiving feelings. I am emotionally constipated until I trust you. I can be a little stubborn and sometimes reckless but it’s only when it comes to protecting my people and my freedom. I’m also very free spirited/carefree and will cut you loose if I can’t have my time to be adventurous. Even though I seem very cold and uninterested (50/50 I am), I am a hopeless romantic at heart.
I’ve typed out as enfp if that adds anything, but I’m not the stereotypical bubbly kind.
Hope that’s more than enough, thank you for your time and I hope life treats you well today and so on. <3
AYYY HI!!
Its finally your turn after stalking this 6 different times. LOL.
I’ve decided to pair you with…. INUI!
I think you guys would get along great. Genuinely.
I think he’d probably want to rot in bed alongside you. Someone he’d be comfortable with. I dont think he has many friends- other than koko and takemichi. And koko is…
I think your rbf wouldn’t do much to deter him. Let’s be honest he does too. He isn’t one to judge!
I think he’d love your warm nature. It’d draw him him like a moth to a flame. Kinda like how he’s with takemichi. You’d mean a lot to him!
I think he also doesn’t like to talk much either. He’s super quiet and would probably just want to rot in bed. I honestly can imagine you both laying on bed with one ear each with an earbud listening to a playlist and just. Staring at the ceiling.
I have to admit, i think you’d also remind him a little bit of koko. But Inui is also pretty much emotionally constipated too. He has trust issues- but i think you both definitely would overcome it together realizing you have a lot in common. And probably becoming super close with each other.
He’d be fine if you’re Adventurous. But I think he is the type of guy who either wants to be in bed all day, or not really go back home.
~~~~
I hope this was okay. Honestly writing this kinda took me for an emotional ride because inui is a comfort character and i love him sm. Also you are such a sweetheart and i hope the rest pf your day goes well when you see this <3
#tokyo rev x you#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers inui#inui seishu#sano mikey manjiro#manjiro sano#shinchiro sano#shinichiro sano#izana kurokawa#emma sano#draken#ken ryuguji#nahoya kawata#souya kawata#chifuyu matsuno#baji keisuke#sanzu haruchiyo#kokonoi hajime#mitsuya takashi#hakkai shiba#ran haitani#rin haitani#rindou haitani#hanma shuji x reader#hanma shuji#hanagaki takemichi#kisaki tetta#hinata tachibana#naoto tachibana#south terano
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