#and im not complaining bc i know im lucky to get help in the first place | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lupunsus · 1 year

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i want to write fluff. i (you people) need to remember the good sides of this au (non-existent) because yanderes can be nice (questionable)

Anyway, amputated mouse reader with Al-Haitham and Kaveh bc i finished the story quest, and they're literally fucking each other every other day istg

based on genshin hybrid au idea by @cinnamonest

while writing this, it was pure fluff... but my demons whispered in my ear, so there's nsfw in it. im sorry, but my resolve is weak against poly relationship with Kaveh and Al-Haitham.

warning: masturbation, the hybrid is actually the pervert in this one, a bit of angst bc hybrid thinks they aren't good enough to be sandwiched between two hot men despite being loved lots but they want their pp even though they know nothing about having sex with a human

Kaveh is too kind, really.

If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have had such a warm and loving home that cared deeply for you. Having the part of your leg below the knee taken away by bad people with awful traps was sad, but Kaveh and his partner, Al-Haitham, made sure to make you forget about that problem!

Of course, sometimes they argued about things relating to you.

"You claim to be so smart, but what's smart about giving them a pegleg?!" Kaveh glared at Al-Haitham while holding you in his arm. The other held out the object, dropping it in front of the gray-haired man. It was cute to see you hobble around at first. But then you fell over, and tears started to form in your eyes. You were so adorable!! But also, you should never be in pain while under the care of Kaveh and Al-Haitham!! You were fine, just a small bruise, but being the overreacting person he is, Kaveh had to make a big deal out of it.

To others, it would seem like he was making the situation sound worse than it is, but Al-Haitham is just like him. He's just a quiet worrier.

"I suppose I should readjust some things. If I were to buy some parts–"

"Peglegs are unnecessary when we can just carry [Name] around!"

"But then they'd have to crawl around the house if we aren't home."

"We'll put soft rugs down!!"

It's a good thing Dori resides in Sumeru. Her nose can smell potential customers all the way to the desert, but the biggest spenders are always Akademiya students. So when it comes to needing supplies for hybrids, Dori's the one to go to!

But that's a lot of soft rugs. What are you raising? A baby? It's okay. Dori won't ask, just hand over the mora. Thank you~

If anyone were to see Al-Haitham and Kaveh while they lugged a load of rugs to their place, they'd assume Kaveh was getting help with a new project. Nobody knows about the lucky little mouse waiting inside, as the rugs are for them. "Thank you masters! [Name] likes a lot!!" The texture was indeed fluffy and soft. One could wrap themselves up and sleep inside of one. That's how cozy it felt.

It's a shame that the pegleg would sit in storage to collect dust. Maybe one day it'll have its use.

Days when Kaveh is out and Al-Haitham is home are the best days. Why? The two of you do absolutely nothing. You make yourself comfy on top of him and take a nice long nap. Sometimes Al-Haitham will read to you, teaching you some words and whatnot. His voice is nice, however, so most of the time, he looks down to see you drooling all over his chest while deep in slumber. It's the main reason why he stopped wearing shirts during those times. Too much of a hassle to wash them. Kaveh doesn't complain, even doing the same.

Both of their chests make for good pillows, and their skin is always so warm. You definitely start drooling more when you're sleeping on them.

Kaveh is fun to be around, too!

He's made some toys for you to play with, but he doesn't mention how Al-Haitham helped. You didn't ask, so technically, he isn't lying to you. Do you know those cat wheels? Kind of big, enough for a human, maybe if they were to crouch down. Anyway, Kaveh made that for you! A nice little wheel to run to your little heart's content. It's super cute seeing you use it, especially when you get tired.

You just lay there in a puddle of exhaustion, and he takes the opportunity to scratch and nuzzle his face in your tummy. If you're ticklish, you try to push him off, but you're too tired to do so. Kaveh rewards you with treats and stuff to chew on, so it balances itself out. Plus, his belly rubs feel good.

Honestly, living with them makes you forget that you're missing half of your leg.

Almost.

You're a bit clumsy, especially when both of them are busy. During those times, they tend to leave a lot of things laying about. Books, well mainly stacks of books, but there's also occasionally some other stuff. And with how often Kaveh and Al-Haitham redecorate the place, things that are usually in a position you're used to are inevitably moved, and objects put in hard to reach places.

So when you trip or hurt yourself because of it, it's hard not to let a few tears fall. Would it be easier if you had two healthy legs? Of course, it'd be easier to balance yourself with two legs instead of one and a half. These negative thoughts start to spiral until you think about how useless you are to your masters.

All hybrids in shelters know that their purpose is to serve and please their masters. You weren't a stranger to the knowledge, even hearing of how if the hybrid is good, they'll be treated the same and even receive assistance during their... spring season.

But you're damaged goods! Unused, but still damaged! You require more care than the average hybrid, needing special attention and accommodations because of your small size. Neither of the men touched you in that way. Instead, they gave you space and sometimes left the house.

You could smell their scents on each other.

Why were you even here if they had each other to pleasure? You were grateful to even have such a nice home, but what were you to them? A pet? Or worse... an experiment? You've heard stories of fellow rodents being used for tests and experiments. They weren't harmed, but they weren't as loved as other hybrids in homes.

Ah, maybe you were a charity case.

A poor little mouse with half a leg missing. Nobody would want them as caring for them is so expensive, and you'd need to rearrange furniture and make the entire place practically baby proof. Perhaps you were a child to them. But you're definitely past that age! And what will happen to you if they do manage to conceive one? It's unheard-of for a male hybrid to get pregnant, but there are rare cases of it happening. Some can happen with the intervention of researchers, but only psychopaths (Dottore) would experiment with that.

Well, whatever. You're exhausted after overthinking and making yourself insecure and depressed.

The two men you loved with your entire being said they would be out late, but were they just having fun without you? Ah, you already told yourself to stop assuming things and thinking negatively, but it was hard. You wanted to be with them, too! Even during those times... There was only one thing that could help clear away these negative thoughts.

That's right. Stealing.

Borrowing would be a better word. You always put their clothes back! ...With the dirty clothes. Kaveh would be confused, not recalling wearing some of them, but blamed it on the alcohol. Al-Haitham made Kaveh do laundry, so he never spoke about it. He did express his impatience at how Kaveh takes forever to wash clothes, but that was it. They wouldn't think that their precious little mouse was to blame for the misunderstanding and confusion.

You'll never know it, but they think you're incapable of doing anything without them. Of course, you get exercise from your wheel, but they still feed, bathe, and clothe you (you're mainly naked unless they have guests over) with their own hands. The only things you should be doing without them are running on the wheel and chewing on your toys.

Going back to your session of "borrowing," it was usually something you did during the day when they were out, but since they're out late, you figured stealing more clothes of theirs again wouldn't get you caught. If they were doing what you thought they were doing, the two of them would get back home when the sun started rising.

So, you had plenty of time to make a nest in your hidden corner and masturbate while being surrounded by their scent.

It was really well hidden! Plus, you still had some clothes from earlier today, so the nest would just be cozier, and the smell of them would be even stronger. There really was nothing better than burying your face in their clothes while getting yourself off. It only helped to fuel your dirty desires.

Would they take you at the same time? You were confident that you stretched yourself to take both of them (you are definitely not), even using 3 fingers instead of 2! Surely, they'll both fit. But would they take turns instead? Impossible. They bicker so often that you think one of them will get impatient. And then there comes with that thing humans do. Kissing? You've only ever received forehead kisses from Kaveh, but you wanted more than that. Both men thought they were secret in kissing each other, and even if they weren't, they explained it as a way to share energy even if they both were out of breath afterward.

That was what you wanted. You wanted to give all your energy to them. To be drained until there was nothing left to give, even if they were insistent and shared with you their energy just so they could take it back.

"M-Masters...!" It was a relief that you came before your arm became weak. For some reason, you could only bring yourself to cum twice before your wrist felt numb. Maybe you needed to exercise more, you didn't know. You were still sensitive, so you opted to grind against their clothes to reach another high.

On any other day, you'd feel horrible for getting the clothes of your Masters dirty with your essence (or, as you like to call it, your love for them), but you were upset for always being left out! And they'd always tease you too. Going around the house topless. You have to hold back from pouncing on them and rubbing your nipples against theirs. You've done it before when sleeping on Al-Haitham's chest, but that time was an accident. It felt really good, though...

And the material of their clothes rubbing against them now felt incredible, but you really wanted to feel their hands and bodies against them. To have them pinched and squeezed even though no milk would come out. You heard hybrids can lactate if their nipples are squeezed and sucked periodically, so maybe if you play with them every day, you can give them a nice surprise.

Milk is delicious, after all!

Bringing yourself to the edge for the sixth time, you collasped onto the nest, exhausted from grinding against clothes. At most, you could only last three rounds, but this is an improvement! Humans generally go for seven rounds, so you are really close! But you're so tired... do humans really do it so many times? Their stamina sure is amazing.

You had time before your masters came back, so a nap wouldn't hurt. Plus, you were very hidden in this corner! Even if you overslept, they wouldn't be able to find you. You even threw a blanket over pillows on the couch just in case :) You've seen Kaveh do it, so it'll definitely trick them into thinking you're asleep.

It truly is unfortunate that you think you could outsmart two Akademiya graduates.

Al-Haitham is used to Kaveh's tricks, so he immediately knows you're hiding. You haven't figured out how to unlock the door, and there's even another few locks that you can't reach even if you manage to figure it out. Windows are too complicated to unlock for you, too. It's while he's narrowing down possibilities that Kaveh is calling out for you, thinking you were playing hide and seek, but fell asleep while waiting for them.

Kaveh thinks it's adorable and fun to look for the obvious tail sticking out from behind something. It isn't until Al-Haitham notices some of their clothes sticking out from underneath a table in the corner that he knows where you are and what you've been doing. How could he not? You practically begged them and threw a fit just to keep the table in its spot. It wasn't really hidden, but nobody would notice if someone or something were under it.

Calling over his partner, they looked to see you slumbering on top of their clothes, using their shirts as blankets. It would've been a cutely innocent sight if not for the fact you hadn't cleaned yourself up. "They've used more clothes than usual, but their heat is 3 weeks away.." Al-Haitham gently rubbed the inside of your thigh, causing your body to shift. Kaveh moved some of the shirts aside to see your reddened nipples perked up. He wanted to pinch them, but he settled on flicking one, smiling when you mumbled incoherently and squirmed a bit in your sleep. "Maybe they missed us~ We were out longer this time."

"Because someone can't play cards."

"I'd like to see you beat Cyno in less than 7 rounds!"

Realizing his mistake, both men looked towards you as you shifted. "Masters...." Nuzzling your face into their clothes, you let out a content sigh as their comforting smell seemed to be stronger than usual as if they were beside you.

"My skill is not provoking him. You'd have lost in 4 rounds if you had drank alcohol." This time, Kaveh chose to glare at Al-Haitham. The reason he didn't drink tonight was so that he'd be sober enough to remember being welcomed home by someone much cuter and nicer than the Acting Grand Scribe. But seeing you curled up in a nest of their clothes is definitely better.

Al-Haitham only sighed at the sight. "They took the pants I was going to wear tomorrow this time. I'll have to start hiding clothes I need."

"Wait, you knew they were the reason our clothes ended up in the laundry so often?" Al-Haitham only gave Kaveh a look that screamed, "Was it not obvious?" before rearranging the clothes to cover your entire body so you wouldn't get cold. If you weren't peacefully sleeping right in front of them, Kaveh would have yelled some very mean things at Al-Haitham. But that could wait for another day.

After all, they've left their cute little mouse waiting too long.

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powerfultenderness · 2 years

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omg halloween fics im so excited! my first thought was the gang deciding to not dress up as anything spooky bc one member is comically afraid of the season, they go the wholesome route and all agree to dress as their heroes. peacemaker shows up in full 70s glam rocker costume. vigilante is, of course, dressed as peacemaker. and you show up in an adorably makeshift vigilante costume! hes saved your life a dozen times, of course hes your hero!!

Don't You Get It?

Rated: T+

Pairing: gn!Reader/Adrian Chase

Summary: When the Adebayo’s request non-scary costumes at their Halloween party this year, you and Adrian are forced to get a little creative.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2192

A/N: Ah, ty for this suggestion! I liked it so much that it got a little out of hand and I had to cut out a couple of scenes! 😅

🔪[#Vigilante Halloween Masterlist] 🕊

[Masterlist]

[Dividers]

“No. Fucking. Way!”

“What?” Leota called after you as you dashed further into the clothing section of the store.

When she caught up with you, you spun around with an excited flourish as you held up a black tee shirt. It had Vigilante’s signature chevron pattern printed on the chest.

“Do you think Adrian gets a cut of the sales?”

She laughed as you put the shirt back on the rack and grabbed one in your size.

“How? They can’t just send a check to “Vigilante”. It would be cool though, maybe he'd be able to quit his job.”

You snorted out a laugh and dropped the shirt in your basket. “Can you imagine Vig as a full time crime fighter? You thought he was wanted on multiple counts of murder before?”

“You’re right. Fennel Fields keeps him humble. I can’t believe you’re actually buying that.”

“I don’t know how, or when, but one day it’ll come in handy.”

She laughed and moved onto the next section of the store.

That was a couple of months ago. “Summer of Super Heroes” the store called their little promotion. There had been clothes based on other heroes, of course. Mostly Batman and Superman, but locations with local heroes also got merchandise based on them. Peacemaker and Vigilante had been hailed as heroes after the whole Butterfly incident, so they also had merchandise. It wasn’t much, it looked like you missed all of the Peacemaker merchandise, but you were lucky enough to snag a Vigilante shirt before it sold out.

Now Halloween was approaching and the Adebayo’s were hosting a party in which they were requesting no scary costumes.

“I can’t believe I can’t go as Leatherface!” Adrian complained while you stitched him up from his latest recklessness.

It hadn’t been an official ARGUS mission, but you had a major soft spot for the vigilante, so you gave him a standing offer to help him out whenever he needed, and he needed help often. According to him, even your band-aids were somehow even better than his!

“I was gonna bring a chainsaw and everything! It’s not fair! I can’t even use a chainsaw on pretend bad guys!”

You finished up, double checking your work just for the chance to subtly run your fingers across his incredibly chiseled abs. “I don’t think there are going to be many pretend bad guys anyways, V.” You started and pulled your hands away from his warmth and removed your gloves. “Remember Adebayo suggested that we come as our hero or something.”

"That's so lame!"

You started to tidy up your med kit while he tossed a shirt on. “Hmm.”

“What?” He asked once his head popped through his shirt.

“Nothing, really. I just thought you’d be jumping at the chance to dress up as Peacemaker.”

He loudly gasped and his eyes went wide.”You’re right! It’s not lame!” But just as quickly as he had changed his mind, he returned to pouting. “But, where am I going to get a Peacemaker shirt in time?!”

“Just buy a red shirt.”

“But it’s gotta have the dove of Peace on it!”

“Paint it on?”

“It won’t look good if I do it!” He huffed, “can you do it?”

“Hmm, probably not well.” You conceded.

He whined and pouted again, so you continued to spin ideas for him. You couldn’t have your favorite boy feeling all sad, no matter how cute he looked.

“Doesn’t Chris have multiples of that shirt? Just use one of those?”

He looked at you dubiously. “I know you think I’m big and muscly,” he was, “but P’s shirts won’t fit me! It’ll look stupid if it’s all baggy!”

“Okay. Tell you what, if you can get one of his shirts, I can do a bit of tailoring and bring it in for you.”

“Really?” He gasped and leaned forward on the desk he was sitting on.

“Yea. I’ll even let it back out after the party so he doesn't get mad at you for ruining one of his shirts.”

“You can do that?”

“Pretty easy, actually.” You nodded.

“You’re so cool!” He hopped off the desk and pulled you up into a big hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” He rocked you from side to side as he continued to hug you.

“Calm down, Vig!” You winced from how loud he was.

He dropped you with an apology and a wide smile gracing his lips, then helped you clean and lock up before leaving Henenlotter in a rush, presumably to borrow one of Peacemaker’s shirts.

The next day he texted you saying that he got a hold of one of Peacemaker’s shirts and he was going to drop it off at your place. It was later than you expected when he actually showed up, but considering he was wearing his Fennel Fields uniform, you guessed he just got off of work.

“Hey,” he greeted as you let him in. “Can I change here?” He motioned to the duffel bag in his hands, one you’d seen many times before and knew to contain his Vigilante suit.

“Sure.” You took the Peacemaker shirt from him and tossed it on the back of your couch. Then you grabbed the measuring tape you set out for when he got there. “But before you put your Vigilante suit on, let me take some measurements.”

“Ok!” He said cheerily, but he walked away towards your bathroom.

“Oh…no.” you blinked, “I meant…” well he was already in the bathroom…

Sure enough, a minute later he returned to the living room in nothing but his tactical pants and socks. Not that you were going to complain.

It surprised you (not for the first time) how soft his skin was. Usually when you patched him up, you wore gloves, robbing you of the feeling of his skin. But now, as you took his measurements, you were reminded of just how soft his skin was. So few scars actually covered his body, despite how often he got hurt. You’d only been around the team for a few months, a more than welcome field medic, and by all accounts, he should have way more scars, but even the wound you stitched up last night was nothing but a light pink blemish that was sure to fade completely rather soon.

“Do you have a costume yet?” He asked once you let him go. He sat down on the couch and started to slip on the rest of his suit.

“Uhm, not really.” You half lied. You had an idea, and you were pretty certain you could get all the components for the costume from your existing wardrobe.

“Oh! If you want, I can borrow another shirt from Peacemaker and we can match!”

His smile was so cute that you almost felt bad for shooting him down. But there was no way you were going to wear a Peacemaker costume! “No thanks, I’ll think of something before the party.”

“Aww! How awesome would it be if we were both Peacemaker though?”

You chuckled and steeled your nerves. Honestly, if he kept that up you might just give in. “Maybe we can wear matching costumes next year?”

You were running a little late to the party. A quick text to Adebayo meant that no one was worried, though Adrian kept texting you updates on the party and sent a few pictures as well. (You may have saved the selfies that he sent. He just looked so happy and so good that it was hard to resist!)

The party was in full swing by the time you arrived. It wasn’t just the 11th Street Kids, but some of Keeya’s friends and coworkers as well as some of their neighbors. So it was a bit hectic when Leota answered the door. She was balancing a bowl of candy in one arm and a dog in a doctor costume in the other.

“Hey! Happy Halloween! Come on in!”

You followed her in with an enthusiastic greeting.

The dog in her arms started to squirm so she motioned to a room off the side of the entryway. “You can put your coat and hat down in there.”

“Alright.” You didn’t bother to correct her, that the plain black baseball cap that you wore was part of your costume, as you headed for the room she pointed to.

Before you even opened the door, you heard your name yelled from across the party.

Adrian had spotted you walking in, in fact he’d been eagerly checking his phone for a text from you and watching the door every time the doorbell rang. He quickly caught up with you as you entered what you assumed was a small guest bedroom, if the twin bed tucked in the corner and piled with coats was anything to go by.

He started to excitedly tell you how everyone, even Peacemaker, said his costume looked so good. And that because of your tailoring Peacemaker hadn’t even noticed that he borrowed a shirt from him in the first place!

“Wait, you didn’t even tell him you were borrowing his shirt? Adrian, isn’t that stealing?” You teased him as you dropped your coat with the others on the bed.

“No! It’s not technically stealing because…” he stopped talking as he took in your costume.

Once you had the Vigilante shirt, it was easy to put together a Vigilante costume, as you already owned tactical pants and combat boots.

You raised a brow at his sudden silence. “Adrian?”

“...Holy shit. You’re dressed as me?”

“Yea!” You smiled, then pulled up the black neck gaiter you were wearing and popped on a pair of red sunglasses. “What do you think?”

“...You’re dressed as me.”

You blinked and started to get a little concerned that he was repeating himself. “Yea..? Not enough? Too much?”

“No. I don’t think you understood what Adebayo said. We’re supposed to dress up as our heroes.” He emphasized his point by clapping his hands together.

You looked down at your costume before looking back up at him. “Yea dude, I got that. We had a whole conversation about it while I was giving you stitches, remember?”

He gave a little frustrated growl, like you weren’t understanding him, and scrunched up his face. “But you’re supposed to dress up as your hero! And you’re dressed up as me!”

You took off your sunglasses and pulled the mask down so he could see your face clearly. “Adrian, Vigilante has saved me at least a dozen times, if not more! You saved me. So of course you’re my hero.”

He swallowed, “o-oh…”

You broke the slightly awkward silence that followed with a quiet cough. “But if you want me to change or something, I’m sure Leota has some-”

“No! No. I just, uhmmm…” Adrian was looking up as he tried to think of something, anything, to say. His blush no longer stained his cheeks because of frustration, but you had just called him your hero.

“I look that good, huh?” You giggled a little nervously as you copied the Peacemaker hero pose (that you’re pretty sure he just made up) that he kept doing in the pictures he sent you.

That seemed to snap him out of his stupor and he grinned at you. “Well you are dressed as the second coolest hero!”

“What? I’m totally dressed up as the first coolest hero!”

He blushed even more, even the tips of his ears were turning pink, and looked down at his feet.

“Which makes what I’m about to do a little weird.” You finished and flipped your hat backwards.

He looked up and tilted his head in that cute way he always did when he was confused. “What are you about to do?” “This.” You quickly kissed him, just a little peck of the lips.

You meant to kiss him and dash off to the party to deal with however he felt about you kissing him later, but he quickly grabbed your hips and pulled you close to him.

He dropped his forehead to yours, his nose lightly bumping against yours and he grinned. “Eat peace, motherfucker.”

You snorted out a laugh, unable to control your chuckling until he kissed you. He was smiling against your lips, laughing with you even as he nipped at your bottom lip.

“Nu-uh! You guys are not having sex in here!” Leota yelled as she stood in the doorway pointing at the two of you.

You and Adrian jumped apart slightly, but he managed to keep one hand on your back, as you looked at Leota in surprise, neither of you heard her open the door.

“We weren’t going to have sex!” You protested her assumption.

“We weren’t?”

You coughed quietly and looked at him. “Well, not here, anyways!”

Which meant that you were open to have sex with him anywhere else! “Awesome!”

Leota eyed you, though you could see the amusement in her eyes, and ushered you out of the room.

You weren’t sure what was sweeter, the candy you kept munching on, or how closely Adrian was glued to your side for the rest of the night.

Tag list:

@lululandd

#vigilante x reader #adrian chase x reader #vigilante halloween

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midnxght-sweet-time · 2 years

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Can i request (naib x doll f.reader?)

(Actually i has going to request wu chang x doll f.reader but wu chang is not there in lists 🥲)

So like reader is hunter. who know hunter nickname is "broken doll" she die by suicidal or someone killed her bc they are jealous bc of her. her skill is like she can summon the mini doll version of survivor whenever some survivor is close to her the mini survivor doll will be puff of out of nowhere and if she hit the mini survivor they will have a damage of it. And the problem is f.reader is so easy to kite bc of her skill every time when she use her skill the mini survivor doll will be gone bc survivor. some of them are really fast and some of them drow pallets at her and f.reader can't speak bc you know someone killed her or suicidal.. after that some survivor will going to bully her every match. And there is nain who going to save/protect f.reader whenever someone is bullying her. And if you don't mind in ending where reader will going to revamp that she can finally sing or talk.😅

𝙰 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚢

❥︎ Paring: ♤Naib Subedar x F!Hunter!Reader

⚠︎ TW: Hurt to comfort. Naib also being a little ooc, but I pretty much soften his personality, Ganji being ooc cuz idk how he acts usually but i know he no like richy ppl n i based reader off a noble singer so ye-. Edgar being a prick. Survivors bullying hunter reader. Mentions of reader's death like poisoning.

᯽ A/N: Im not really fond of the usual damsel in distress reader especially when its a hunter but i aint here to complain.

This was pretty long as i had a whole scenario in my head n took a 5 min break doodle along wif it-

I rather draw y/n that has some hair n eyes than them being bald n almost faceless lmao.

Reader died by poisoning cuz i need a reasonable explanation how she cant speak n not she just died. Almost every hunter died n only Mary seemed to have vocal issues cuz of her chopped head n jojo having asthma cuz he probs smokes-

The sound of wood colliding on the hard cold edge is always a discouraging sound that smashes into your eardrums as the rough material scratches the side of your delicate face. The pain burns on your cheek like a familiar fire that you have gotten used to that hot tears streamed down your face on cue.

Every match was the same; a pallet to the face, the pathway kept clean, and emotionally tiring hours that brings you to a state of depression. You watched with a blurred vision as the doll on your hands slowly disappeared and footsteps of your prey got further and further away. You could never get a win. It's either a tie or a loss. Even the ties are just lucky shots being paired with the weak kiters, or the few friendly survivors that would spare you some pity.

Of all the hunters, you were the weakest, making you an easy win. You wished you'd never ended up here. If only you had been more careful in your past life, maybe you wouldn't have drunk the sweet nectar that was spiked with poison from the one you have so foolishly trusted at first sight.

Blaring alarms pierced through your ears like needles. Your eyes caught the small figures of the survivors rushing towards the door to make their escape. Their tiny bodies from a few distance away sway with the wind, scaring the crows that rested there and relishing in their victory with small bits of laughter your abnormal ears can catch; you know for sure their cheerfulness dripped with venom for you.

Defeat overwhelmed and pulled you to the ground. Your knees scraping on the blades of grass that are more merciful than most survivors that torments you for your lack of experience or disadvantages. You watch as they celebrate like it's a holiday party and continuously making mocking gestures by the open doors. A lump drops to the bottom of your stomach. The feeling of failure felt like a harsh grip; suffocating you like the poison that deprives you of any oxygen and burns your throat til your voice becomes shallow and hoarse. You remembered how you were unable to call for help as your humane life left your body and your corpse left as an artifact of who you once were. Tears blurred your vision as an attempt to shield you away from the disheartening sight and attempt to cool the burning sensation on your cheek, only to make it sting more.

A quick electric sensation courses through your veins, three times in a pattern; the game's psychic signal to you that some survivors have escaped. The daunting feeling stacked on your back like falling bricks that's building a tower in tetris. Silence filled the air now. The breeze of Lakeside attempted to comfort you with its cooling touches, brushing your hair away from your face. The empty sight however, only reminded you of your despair. It has become oddly peaceful now that the survivors are gone, even if your heart feels heavy with guilt.

That's when you noticed— you're not being sent back to the manor.

A honking noise caught your attention, followed by the consent squawks of the crows that alerted you of their location. Your head shot up at the sudden alarm; someone hasn't escaped yet.

But why?

Out of instinct, your body rushed to where that survivor might be. The crows are your aid, running their beaks, mocking the poor survivor and leading you straight to them. Your feet flew with the wind, carrying you to the upstairs of the giant ship. The red light you emit strangely from your eyes acts as a flashlight in the dark fog. The crows disappear upon your arrival.

It's almost unnoticeable, but the glowing heartbeat gave away the green hooded man that's curled up on the floor behind a batch of barrels in front of a cipher. His body was shaking, his head low to the ground and his hands were by where his ears were supposed to be. It seems like he barricaded himself in the barrels, scared of whatever monster that lurked in his imagination.

What was the mercenary still doing here?

You awkwardly stood around for a few minutes, trying to understand the position he was in. It's like he's hiding from something. Seeing him in that small space, scared and alone reminds you of a stray kitten that was abandoned in a bush. You approached closer, as slow and quiet as you can, like approaching a child. The creeks of the old worn floor made him shot up. His eyes looked at you, startled, before his brows furrowed and his growling at you like a hostile animal– wary and distrustful, but within those same eyes that glared at you, you can see a hint of what seemed like fear.

You backed up, hoping the mercenary won't attack you right then and there. Your fingers slipped loose, forgetting you ever had your weapon and it dropped, making a thud that caught him off guard. Confusion replaced his hostility once he noticed you werent here to kill him. He looked around before bringing eye contact to you. "Is- is the match over?" His body slowly loosened up the tension when he saw you nod your head. You pointed towards the open gate below the ship, in a way telling him his teammates are gone.

He became silent. The mercenary was about to walk over to you until he realized his position; trapped between barrels stacked sideways. His face displayed pure innocent confusion you never thought you'd see from him.

This was just very awkward.

The moment he places his hands on the barrels to push aside, he immediately recoils his body in pain. A loud groan erupted from his throat, making you step forward in concern. Your hands involuntarily grabbed onto a barrel and helped him push it off to the side. Shock now covered his face as he backed up to a wall when you were kneeling in front of him, your form towering above him. You were about to grab onto his hand to take a look at his injuries, but realizing you may scare him off, you just stood there with your hands out.

Even you were surprised at how upfront you can be.

He clicked his tongue when he finally realized what you wanted from him. "I'm fine, thank you. I don't need any help from a hunter." His head turned away from you, averting his eyes and shoving his injured hand behind his lap to avoid your sight on it.

You didn't move. Your eyes focused on him and the signature red light shone on him like police headlights. You're very close to him, making him feel slightly uncomfortable at your unnerving presence.

You and the mercenary don't really encounter each other a lot so it's reasonable why.

That's when you remembered; You're close enough to manifest a doll of him.

Strings of different colors appeared from thin air as the hand you had out for the mercenary created a cute little doll of him. The mercenary felt a strange sensation on his body, like the feeling of thinning into a string and being tied into a knot. Like when the white guard would siphon his soul– only the pull of his soul seems to be attaching himself with the doll as he feels compelled to it. He can feel his heart stopping, as in he doesnt know how to react , standing still in time and watching helplessly..

The big button eyes of the doll stares at you with the same bright blue as his eyes. You noticed his doll version has a slight torn opening, little specks of cotton threatening to spill out from that crack.

That must be his injury.

"Woah, what are you doing?" His tone was skeptical and you responded by lifting up the doll and pointing to its mimicked wounds. Your head tilted at him to ask how he got that. He seemed to catch on quickly and looked at his own injury.

"Honestly– I don't know…"

You looked around, seeing any signs of sharp objects until you caught sight of the familiar crimson color on the edge of the cipher nearest to you. The cipher's light gives you a clarification of its dull color which tells you the blood has dried. You pointed at the dried up blood, wondering if that's where he had hurt himself. He looked at where you pointed at and for a moment his eyes widened and his pupils shifted from the edge of the cipher to the cipher itself.

He was speechless, he didn't say anything until you snapped your fingers in front of him, crashing his train of thoughts. "Oh- I must've been careless." Scratching the back of his neck. You can see a single sweat rolling down his head.

Your focus is back on the doll. A needle suddenly appeared in your other hand, making the mercenary even more tense. Lining up the sharp tip, you pierced through the delicate fabric of the doll, causing the man in front of you to suddenly twitch up in response, feeling the poking sensation on his skin. "H-hey- what are you doing?!"

You ignored his yelping. Stitching away at the small slit, securing back the cotton to its rightful place and closing the gaps. By the time you snapped the excess string to proclaim your completion, the thread that was stitched into the hand slowly morphed with the fabric, disappearing without a trace and making it look as good as new.

The mercenary watched you before looking back at his hand. Sure enough, just like the doll counterpart of him, his wound is gone. Like his injury never happened.

"T-Thanks." The hooded man nodded as a small mimic of bowing. The confusion never left his face. He was in pure shock but also sparkles of curiosity mixed in those same eyes.

His head lifts up once again, catching the gentle expression on his face. Your hair flowing with the wind as the moonlight showered you in its heavenly glow. He spotted the scratch on your cheek and reached out to touch it, but the moment he touched your skin, not only you moved away, he also retracted his hand in surprise.

"What the fuck-?" He muttered before touching your face again, making you recoil again. "What the fuck?!" The confusion was beyond you at this point, making your head swirl, thinking what you did wrong. Was it because you moved away from his advances?

"You're fucking wood!"

Ah nevermind, that's why.

You slowly nodded your head at him. Your eyebrows furrowed with deep concern, opening your mouth and pointing at the thin line by your chin that shows you are a wooden puppet. How is being wood even remotely more astonishing than the other hunters you're sure he has seen before, like the octopus god, the Feaster or the literal lady made of wax on Phillip's shoulder?

"Do you ever talk?" He grumbles at your lack of speech. You stayed silent, your eyes narrowed at him as to give an obvious answer he already knows. A sigh escaped his mouth as he slowly reached. out to the scratch on your cheek, this time you stood still and his fingers hovered ever so slightly above your hard flesh.

"Does it hurt?"

You shook your head. It doesn't hurt anymore with minutes to recover. The scratch would recover once you returned to the manor.

"Do you… have a name?"

Your ear twitches at his words. Your name? Do you even remember ever since appearing here? You stared at him with wide soulless eyes, deep in thought. Searching the darkest and deepest parts of your mind in search of anything that represents your identity.

Nothing.

Your head feels numb.

You can't remember.

Why can't you remember?

You remember your death but now who you are?

Who are you?

Why are you even here?

"Hello?!"

You focus on two hands put together in front of your face. The clap that followed with it took a little bit more time to process. What were you thinking about again? You shook your head to clear your mind, but it seems like the mercenary took it as a sign of no.

"Well- uh. This is awkward…"

Silence filled the air, an awkwardness accompanying the both of you. The right index finger slowly raises up and points to him. The mercenary didn't seem to understand and even pointed at himself to mimic you. "Yes, me?" Your mouth creeks open as the wooden edges scrap each other. The mercenary stared at you for a moment as you stood still with your mouth still agape, wondering what you were trying to ask for. "Are you… hungry?" He queries, head tilted as to wonder if you hunters even need to eat.

Your expressions showed signs of struggle as your head twitched back and forth, leaving the poor man in front of you with even more concern. To him you look like a cat trying to hack up a hairball and with the sudden hoarse moans you just emitted, he was very much worried for you— as weird as that sounds to him.

"Y–our. Na–m–e."

His eyes widen at you, not because you suddenly spoke but the fact your voice sounded worse than an obnoxious squawk of a duck. Does being a puppet mean you have horrible vocal cords? Or did something happen when you died that damaged your ability to speak?

"Naib. Im- Naib." He subconsciously voiced out, not realizing he revealed his name to a hunter until he snapped out of his own disbelief. "Nya–eb-" "Stop. Just– don't speak. You're hurting yourself." He puts his hand out as a gesture of concern much to your disappointment. It's not just because your voice is ear wrenching, but more because he can tell you're struggling to even pronounce a single letter; and he can't help but cringe at your attempt.

You hang your head low, your eyes hiding behind your fringe and struggle to maintain eye contact. The mercenary, who you now acquainted to be Naib, let out a heavy exhale as if he'd been holding his breath for too long. You flinched when he stood up from his spot and stretched his limbs. The sound of his bones cracking made your eye twitch. Naib stood in silence for a brief moment, looking over the open door that called out to him to escape. His eyes then shifts to you, your head still looking down and your thin index finger drawing imaginary shapes on the dusty wooden floor, feeling fiddly with embarrassment creeping up your back; hoping the mercenary would leave and end the match entirely.

"Hey."

You shot your head up. His hand right in front of you, an offer to lift you up from the same hand he refused to give you to check on his wound. You stared back at him with wide eyes, wondering if his action was sincere. In embarrassment, he looked away with his eyes furrowed and lips in a sharp frown.

He normally wouldnt do this, especially not to a hunter. But with you he knows you are more docile than most. Perhaps it wouldnt be so bad to trust you, right?

Another match that had you sentence to misery. 4 ciphers has already been done over the course of this match. You have grown tired and eventually decided to avoid any coming survivors and decided to roam free in the map you're held captive in. The crooked circus music invaded your ears as the carousel horse slowly guided you into a never ending loop.

You were in blissful peace. Following along to the distorted tune with your raspy voice. Ever since you're meeting with the mecernary, you have been exercising your vocal cords. Mary has also encouraged you to do so. Saying if you keep exerting your voice and cough once in a while, you will be able to speak normally soon. So that's what you're doing.

The last cipher popped in the near distance and the blaring alarms of the exit doors lit up either sides of the map like a beacon. The loud noise stings your ears like a loud cry of a child, warning you to leave the area and wait for the survivors to escape. Slowly letting yourself fall from the metal saddle on the back of the horse. Your inhumane legs carried you from the middle to the bridge, your footsteps echoed as your heels made constant contact to the stone floor of the bridge. As you went in to the main building, shifting passed the large curtains thats a makeshift door, your eyes caught something specific.

A lone canvas with it's stand supporting it in the middle of the stage. Oddly reminds you of yourself whenever you sat quietly on the comfy chair of the waiting room. The colors on the white material were vibrant and eye catching, hypnotizing you with its glorious image. You went closer and noticed— it was a painting of you. A painting of what you looked like without your wooden doll features.

What you once were.

Your mouth hung agap and your hands once again dropped your weapon to the floor. Something about this painting mesmerized you. Was it because it was a picture of you in a certain way? Or was it because of the radiant colors that blend together perfectly?

A sense of collusion crashed onto the back of your head, causing you to stumble on your feet and crash onto the painting you were jusg admiring.

"You insolent fool! My creation is now ruined!"

You lifted your face up, your dress and face tainted with specks of paint that was still left to dry. You wince at the slight pain that came with the fall. Another harsh bump on your head. If you were ever human, it could leave a bruise.

"Oh shut it with your fine art. We got bigger fish to fry."

Laughter filled your ears, and not the good kind. You look up to see both the Painter and the Batter in front of you. The painter with his arms cross and sneering above you with a snobby look while the Batter had a more smug look.

"Look at this one. How can they call her a hunter when she acts more like a mouse."

The painter's words seared through your wooden skin. His shadowed eyes piercing through your weak form like predator in the dark. Meanwhile the Batter juggled a ball in his hand, he was more focused on the noble dress you wore that was now tarnished. A snicker slipped passed his mouth, a twisted satisfaction was clearly expressed on his face.

You watched helplessly, you were about to grab your weapon until it was knocked away by the feet of thr painter. His other feet stomping on your hand that tried to attempt your escape. "Dont even think about it. How are your little dolls now?" A ball was dropped onto your head before rolling back to the Batter as a taunting game. "Can we leave now? I dont see any reason to continue this." The taller male was now the one to cross his arms.

Bang!

The sound of a well known flare gun fired. The Painter was quickly interrupted by a sudden blast to the face, making him stumble and fall off the stage. Both you and the Batter seemed shocked. You were too scared to look behind you after what you just witness as whoever shot that flare made his presence known with the slow steps that held so much animosity with their approached. You closed your eyes, internally grateful for whoever shot that flare gun but still too much in shock to move.

A small breeze flows passed you, your savior dashed in front of you. Their voice sends you into a sense of warmth when they finally spoke.

"Stop fucking around. Lets go."

It was Naib.

You looked up in surprise seeing the mercenary holding the Batter by his collar pushing him forward to the exit before walking over to the Painter by the floor still writhing from the aftermath. "If you dont want another hit to your pretty little face, I suggest you leave." His grip is now on The Painter's collar. You can see from a small angle, the anger om his face. His eyes fold so tightly with his lips raised up high til his nose scrunched up and teeth revealed.

Yeah that man's pissed.

The shorter male in his grasps looks at him with the same angered look, challenging his death stare but didnt dare to talk back. He only gave Naib the click of his tongue as a spitful agreement before shoving the mecernary off of him. Standing there for a good few seconds before running out of the building.

Naib looked out at the exit for a few moments. His face still filled with fury before closing his eyes to take a quick breather. Turning back to you he picked you up by the shoulder. Slowly bringing you to the stairs and letting you take a seat there.

"Fuck your not alright."

You were slightly taken aback at his straightforwardness. Yet his keen observation was much appreciated. You nodded sheepishly, dusting any remaining dirt off your dress. Naib sighed and scratched the back of his neck, looking at the stage where the left behind balls and the empty flare gun accompanied the broken canvas stand and the tarnished painting; all laid on the middle of the stage like a wreaked performance just happened. He growled, catching you off guard before calming himself down.

Another whiff of silence flew passed you two before Naib reached his hand out to caressed the side of your cheek, making you perk up. When he noticed his irrational action, he quickly pulled away and held onto your shoulder instead, correcting his action.

"You go back and take care okay? I want you to report those two to Miss Nightingale. She will ban them from matches for a month for that."

You nodded your head, a warm feeling crept up your chest. He nods back at you before turning his back, about to leave you. You quickly stood up, jumping down from a step of the stairs you sat on with your voice croaked out to him. He stopped and looked back, his head tilts to your attention. As the distance sound of the gate opening and the tingling sensations buzzing in your mind. The cool breeze that had always been there for you, encouraged you; giving you to confidence to finally speak like a chirp of a bird.

"Thank you."

#naib subedar #idv naib #identity v naib #idv mercenary #mercenary idv #identity v mercenary #identity v fanfic #idv fanfic #identity v x reader #naib x reader #idv x reader #identity v x you #naib subedar x reader #idv mercenary x reader #idv writing #identity v writing

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stargarland · 1 year

Note

a running one (because i'm curious)

top 5 places to race!

(also what time is your fav to run in the day? this is a bonus i think 🎤)

GOING OUT OF ORDER BC I ACTUALLY LIKE CANNOT HELP MYSELF so so sorry i rambled on like this damn

1. i think my fav place to race is in my home state!!! which is soooo cliché but i swear there’s something about it that is absolutely unmatched! also the competition is so UNREAL??? like there is not much to do in the middle of nowhere usa so when ppl get to like 5/6th grade and had the option of a cross country team everyone flocks to it. like i rem state title meet entry standards for 8th graders were faster than the times of ppl who won high school state titles in other states 😵‍💫

2. eugene, oregon also kinda feels obvious but it’s called track town usa for a reason! hayward field is such an iconic venue it always is so fun and feels so cool to run there

3. oh man oh man yet another person w a football blog abt to praise barcelona but TRUE‼️ i’ve had a handful of int placements there and the courses r always so pretty

4. sweden was also cool bc the race i did there was at night!!!! which is so not normal normally ur getting hauled up at too early o clock and im such a sleeper but the nighttime race was SO COOL

5. mmm where i currently live now. which i mean online saftey and whatever but some moots know!! and it is very fun and great and like so incredibly lucky to have found myself picked up by a team that’s based out of somewhere there’s So Many elite opportunities it is my home now and stuck with me until further notice i fear

and my fav time of day? i do like to run as kinda a first thing i do during the day which is tempting to say morning but IM SUCH A SLEEPER (my being up late this one time does not reflect my true colors fr) I DO NOT GET UP EARLY 😭😭 i am not one of those athletes that gets up at like 4am and does the craziest workout u have ever seen i am just not that guy terribly sorry if that’s disappointing! like honestly i’m so lucky competition makes me feel something or else no way would i wake up in time for it 😭 so technically like mid morning / afternoon which is when everyone complains and claims that it’s the worst time of day bc that’s when it gets hot outside but i honestly rlly do not mind weather never rlly bothers me

#IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO MANY WORDS AH #k <33

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inknopewetrust · 2 years

Note

i read ur post. im so sorry that life hasn’t been treating u as well as u deserve and im sorry that tumblr isnt as kind of a place as one would imagine. as a reader myself, i think i found it very hard to understand why a lot of writers were complaining about not getting enough reblogs? and hear me out, i really dont want to offend anyone. but i didnt get it. ive had a tumblr for +10 years now, and ive only just now found myself on the “fan fic side” of it. and idk, i think i was very naïve to think that “oh well but getting 5 reblogs must be as good as anything?? like 5 people liking it enough to reblog it is insane??” but then i put up my own fic about a week ago i think?? and i got like 60 notes?? which i still think is a good amount, but it also very much put be in a place of “oh well maybe im just not a good writer or creative enough” so much so that im not sure ill ever release something again??

i didnt mean for this to get this long, but yeah idk what im trying to say with this?? im sorry for being naïve and not getting others feelings and idk i kind of hope that it will give u the tiniest bit of consolence as to why people seem a bit lazy sometimes?? that it is more out of not understanding rather than that they do not appreciate ur work?? and also this was not to say that i didnt understand why u have to reblog to support, but more of a “readers may not always understand that 5 reblogs for something u used 1 month on writing isnt always enough”

im not sure if my message is clear?? nonetheless i just wanted to say that im very much in love with everything u write and still reread all ur work from time to time. im so happy i stumbled upon ur tumblr bc its helped me greatly on days where i needed it. take a break as long as u want, and even if u dont want to come back - just know that u have blessed us with so amazing stories that will be my faves till the end of time. i can very much see ur dreams of screenwriting coming true!! take care of urself and im so sorry that this turned so long??

- e 💖

Don’t apologize! I’ve been on here for about 8 years and didn’t get it at first either. It’s a learning experience for sure. I think a lot about the notes on fics also depend on the fandom.

Im very lucky and grateful for all the love and I don’t mean that to come off snotty or bitchy in anyway—it’s just very easy to compare yourself to other writers and see their success as perfect and yours as less than.

And I don’t think it’s necessarily a reader problem, but a content problem. We consume so much and don’t realize there are people on the other side. People looking for support and validation that isn’t always given. And I’ve been a silent reader before and regret it so much. But I’ve been trying to remedy that with fic recs and my own reblogs.

Thank you so much. I am certain something will spark interest in the future—heck, maybe it will be a show coming out soon or a movie in the next month. You never know, right?

#answered #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #personal post

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confused--motherfucker · 2 years

Text

stress! Dad, you'er stressing me out!

neglet! neglet!! neglet!!!

Dad, I want help with school, I need food, clothes and hugs, I want you to put your kid first. I want you to come pick me up and drive me to the doctor or hospital, if or when I break my hand, leg or arm. instead of "im at work"

but all you do is yell at me dad, tell me to be more at home. but if i am i can't work, and if i don't work i can't pay for the shit you don't.

you don't raise me because you want to, or because you love me. ofc i know you do, deep down, but it's cuz im your daughter, you don't love anything about me. you raise me because you have to, and bc if you don't you wasted a lot of money on me.

"you don't have any clothes that fit?... work then, like your dad"

"be more at home!"

"sleep more"

"put your phone away"

"Oh, you have 5 minutes to relax? don't waste them, clean for once!"

"god you're just like your mom"

Dad, I work 3 times a week, from 5-11, then I need to take public transport to get home, which takes me until 0:30. At that point, I'm disgusting because I've been cleaning for 6 hours in a messy kitchen. So I shower. I have school tomorrow and i don't wanna stink like litteral food leftover trash.

also my teacher is complaining to me, CONSTANTLY bc you don't check your mails from the school. last year, at the other school they just went to me. They understood they weren't gonna get a word from you.

i can't ask for help, bc i feel like a "have to" not a " want to" i don't wanna bother anyone with my problems bc you always just told me "work on yourself" or "do something about it then"

I always help others, for whatever reason. bc helping is a big deal for me, if people need me im there. no matter if you're a bitch or not (to a certain level tho) and no i don't need anything back, i do this bc, I WANT TO HELP. if i feel horrible about something, but it will hurt another person. I just decides to feel horrible.

i wanna move out "but i'm not mentally ready" honestly i just wanna get out. i walk around all day, hungry bc there's barely any food that i'm allowed to eat. and when i get home my hunger disappears, so when i finally for once get food, i'm not interested in eating. Then you force me to eat, which is good at some points, but mostly it just makes my eyes to cause a fkn tsunami. When I'm alone tho, I'm not allowed to cry.

I get my morning coffee, water at school. If I'm lucky I have a bit extra money for some food in the school breaks, but that's it.

I just hate my home.

#neglect #documentary #bad dad #bad daughter #hate my home #i need help but cant ask

0 notes

watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part One (Harry Styles)

a/n: oh my god i am sooo thankful for the love the masterlist got with just so little info about the story! it means so much to me and i really hope i won’t disappoint you with this story! i was planning to post the first part on tuesday but i got excited bc of all the feedback and reactions and decided to start earlier, so here it is, part one of TLABL, a story im kind of proud of and very happy to share! please drop by my ask box or leave your thoughts on the story, i would love to hear everything from you guys!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.2k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

“I hope you realize this holds nothing against you, we all love and appreciate you and your work, but we had to face some unexpected problems this past year.”

You sit in front of Claire, your boss completely dumbfounded, not even comprehending what she is saying completely. You came to work this morning absolutely oblivious that today is going to be your last day of work at the daycare you’ve been working at for over two years now.

“I’m sorry, but last time you let us in on the budget you didn’t bring up any complication that might have indicated someone could lose their job, so what possible problem could have come up so abruptly?” you ask with a shocked and nervous chuckle. Part of you kind of hopes this is just some stupid joke she is playing on you, but Claire is not one to make games out of such serious things. Letting out a tired sigh she pushes her reading glasses up to the top of her head into her carefully curled hair.

“Look, I’m really trying not to make a big deal out of it, but we had to make some cuts on the budget. The kitchen and gymnasium renovation was completely unplanned and it kicked us in the butt. We are making some changes about the groups this year and it was made that it can be solved with one less person on the team. I’m sorry it had to be you, but the decision had to be made.”

“But why me?” you press. “There are two people who have been working for a shorter period of time here, didn’t I earn your trust during my time here?”

“It’s not about that, Y/N,” Claire shakes her head.

“Then what is this about?”

“If you are so keen on knowing, we’ve… received a few… complaints.” Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline, this is the first time you’re hearing about it.

“Complaints?”

“Yes. Some parents are not quite the fan of the kind of mentality you are using while teaching the kids.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask, feeling all the blood rushing out of your face. This is starting to get way too nasty. Claire pinches the bridge of her nose before leaning onto her desk, clasping her hands together.

“I know that you are quite the free spirit and want to teach the kids about openness and acceptance, but not everyone is as rainbow as you are. Some kids brought the word home about what kind of books you’ve been reading and we’ve gotten a few concerns about you basically promoting the LGBTQ community for the kids.”

“I’m not promoting, I’m trying to teach them to accept everyone just the way they are, how can that upset anyone?!”

“Well, it does. The committee had to make a decision on who we should let go and many agreed that it might be the safest decision to make it be… you.”

You’re about to faint. You are sure you are about to fall off this chair and just black out. How can someone get mad about you reading stories about acceptance and treating everyone equally? What kind of monster can see it as a bad thing? And now you are losing your job over such a stupid thing that you don’t even feel responsible for.

Though you’d love to stay and try to convince Claire to not let you go, you know the decision has been made and if you’re being honest, you don’t feel comfortable anymore working at a place where parents tell you off for teaching important values for their kids. Sadly, but you sign all paperwork about your immediate parting and you leave Claire’s office to pack your stuff.

“Miss Y/N! Miss Y/N!” Izzy, one of the sweetest girls in your group basically launches herself at you, smashing against your legs as she hugs you happily. “Do you want to see what I just painted?” She blinks up at you with her gorgeous green eyes and your heart breaks that you won’t get to see her again.

“Oh, Sweetie. I have to—you know what? Sure. Show me your painting,” you smile at her warmly. You can’t say no to her, not when this is the last time you get to see her.

As you’re cleaning out your locker in the break room, Heather walks in and stops in her tracks, seeing you with your gloomy face as you pack everything into a cardboard box.

“What the hell are you doing?” she questions right away. The two of you have known each other for years now, you did the same master’s programme and somehow ended up working here together, carrying on the friendship you’ve formed through your school years.

“I was… fired,” you sigh, wincing at the words.

“What?! Why?”

“Apparently, we are having some budget problems with all the renovations that was made recently and unbeknownst to me, some parents have been complaining about my openness with kids so I was the lucky one to part ways with.”

“That’s fucking bullshit! The kids adore you, how can someone complain about something like that?”

“Don’t know, ask them if you ever find out who they are,” you mumble under your breath as you shut the now empty locker closed. “I’m sorry we can’t carpool anymore,” you pout at her.

“No fucks given about that, what are you gonna do now?” she asks, seemingly very bummed at the news that you won’t be working at the same place now.

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I guess I’ll have to find something new if I don’t want to end up on the streets,” you mumble.

“Oh girl, I’m so sorry,” Heather sighs pulling you into a hug. “Why don’t we go out for drinks on Friday? Everything is on me!”

“Don’t act like I’m already broke, makes me feel like a loser.”

“Sorry,” she scowls. “Just want to brighten you up a little. Meet me at seven at that Mexican place, how does that sound?”

“Stuffing my face with nachos and tequila? Sounds like the best plan I could wish for.”

You waste no time arriving home after your worst day at work. You jump right into the job ads, looking for basically anything that might help you out of this impossible situation. Sending your resume to as many places as possible, you get a few callbacks the next few days, but you only make it to one interview on Friday and that doesn’t go well either. The man who calls in for an open position at a private kindergarten turns out to be a total snob and he doesn’t find your free spirit too fitting with the profile of his institution so you get rejected at the end of the interview.

You head out to meet Heather feeling like shit. You’ve been unemployed for four days, but it’s already breaking your spirits.

“You know what? Clair is a bitch for giving in to the complaints,” Heather slams her fourth shot glass on the table with a grimace. “She should have defended you!”

“I’m sure she just didn’t want to get into any disagreement. Some of the parents donate great amounts to the school and Claire would never risk losing that money,” you sigh rolling your eyes.

“Okay, but she is being very… not inclusive,” she narrows her eyes. “Firing someone for teaching the kids openness? Bullshit.”

“I’m just sad I don’t get to see the kids anymore. They really grew close to my heart.”

“The little fuckers can be so damn cute, almost make me want to have one.” Heather sighs, downing another shot before pulling the nachos closer to her. You laugh at her vulgar reaction, she has always had quite a dirty mouth but somehow she controls herself well around the kids. “How has the job hunting been?”

“Horrible,” you growl in frustration. There are not many that offer a good paycheck and the few that does are these posh places that expect you to treat the kids like they are made out of gold which is ridiculous. That’s not how you raise a kid!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure something will come up soon. Why don’t you look into nanny jobs, have you thought about that?”

“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, popping some chips into your mouth.

“A lot of people prefer having nannies for their little children, some even want them to move in. My brother’s ex-girlfriend was a live-in nanny for about two years and she earned a shit ton of money, because she didn’t have to pay rent and a good chunk of the food, because the parents just treated her like part of the family and bought groceries for five people instead of four.”

“I’m not sure I’m cut out for that kind of stuff.”

“What, earning money?” Heather scoffs.

“No, living with a stranger.”

“Most of the time the nanny gets like a separated place so it wouldn’t be that bad, but you know what’s good for you. It was just an idea,” she shrugs.

Soon enough you drop any work talk not wanting to ruin the mood. You enjoy some time away from the stress of job hunting and you’re just trying to have fun with your best friend. You start talking about nostalgic memories from college and end up looking up people you graduated with on social media, checking out what they’ve been up to in the past years.

“Alright, I’m gonna go to the restroom quickly, watch out for my drink,” you announce pushing your drink closer to Heather as you head towards the restrooms.

There’s a bit of a line so you stand behind two girls chatting about some cute guy they just met and leaning against the wall you close your eyes for a moment, feeling the drinks hitting you in the head. You’re not used to drinking, haven’t really had the time to get drunk too much lately and it’s saddening to think that now that you’re unemployed, you could black out every day, you wouldn’t have anywhere to show up in the morning.

Getting deep in your thoughts you almost don’t even notice that your phone is buzzing in your pocket. When you finally realize you pull it out of your back pocket and look down at the unknown number with a scowl. You quickly leave your spot in the line and rush out to hear something as you answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time, I’m Harry Styles and I’m looking to talk to Y/N Y/L/N?” you hear a thick British accent on the other end of the line.

“This is her.”

“Great. Sorry for the late call, I’m Isabelle’s father.”

“Isabelle?” you ask in confusion, the names not really clicking in your head thanks to the shots you’ve been taking.

“Isabelle Styles? Izzy?”

“Oh! Yes! Sorry, yeah. Mr. Styles, what can I help you with?” you ask, not sure why Izzy’s dad would be calling you.

“Well I just recently learned from my daughter that you’re not working at the daycare any longer?” “Uh, yeah. Unfortunately I was fired this Monday…” you awkwardly answer.

“I’m sorry about that. Izzy has been really sad about it, I wanted to ask if you’ve found a new job already?”

“Not yet, I’ve been looking but I haven’t had much luck yet,” you confess.

“In that case I have an offer to make,” he firmly continues and you perk up at his words. “I’ve been thinking about pulling Izzy out of daycare, but I didn’t want to do it until I found someone to take good care of her. You’ve been her absolute favorite and she’s been devastated since you’ve been gone. If you’re up for a job of this kind, I would like to offer you a spot as Izzy’s nanny.”

“Oh!” is all you react, completely not expecting this call.

“I know there are a lot to discuss, but if you’re interested, I would be more than happy to have a chat with you sometime this weekend? To go over the details and see if we can make it work.”

“I, uh… Um, yeah. We can meet, that sounds good. When would it be good for you?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon?”

“That can work.”

“Amazing!” he beams. “I’ll send you the address through text if that’s alright for you.”

“Yeah, of course. When should I be there?”

“Would three o’clock suit you?”

“Absolutely,” you nod, stunned at the turn of events.

“Great, thank you so much, and once again, sorry to bother you on your Friday evening. Looking forward to see you tomorrow!”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, see you soon!”

You get back in line at the bathroom and then make your way back to the table where Heather gives you a puzzled look.

“Did you take a massive shit or something?” she jokes as you take your seat and stare back at her, still in shock.

“No, I had a very interesting call, actually.”

“With who?”

“Um, Izzy Styles’ dad just called and offered me a job as her nanny.”

Heather almost chokes on her drink, coughing at the news. You hand her a napkin as she dries her chin off from her cocktail.

“Harry Styles wants you to be the nanny of his daughter?” she gasps.

“You know Izzy’s dad?”

“Y/N, everyone knows him! He is the sexiest man to walk this planet and not to mention that he is like stupidly rich! Have you not seen him yet?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “Izzy was picked up by an old woman most of the times, I guess I never worked when her dad came for her.”

“That explains why you’re not squirming already,” she scoffs. “That man is like… crazy hot, I’m telling you. I bumped into him one morning when I guess he was dropping Izzy off, the way he said ‘Pardon me, Darling’ made my knees shake,” she tells you, faking an accent that’s nowhere near what Mr. Styles sounded like on the phone.

“Well, I guess I’ll see him for myself. I’m meeting him tomorrow to discuss details,” you shrug and Heather slams her hand on the table.

“Oh my God! You’re gonna work for Harry Fucking Styles! Get ready because your panties will be soaking wet all the time,” she laughs like a hyena.

“Heather, stop!” you shake your head laughing too.

Following Mr. Styles’ call you decide to cut the night shorter than you intended, not wanting to look absolutely wasted when you meet him. Arriving home to your small, one bedroom apartment you take a quick shower before climbing to bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect your thoughts. You told Heather you’re not willing to do the whole live-in nanny thing and Mr. Styles might not even want you to live with them, but now that the option is there, you realize it might not be the worst case scenario. Especially since you’re not really swimming in other job offers and you are in desperate need of anything at this point.

Despite having consumed quite some alcohol the previous night, you wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning, finding a text from Mr. Styles about the address you’d have to be going in the afternoon. You make a quick trip to the grocery store and do some chores before you start getting ready for the meeting. You opt for a simple black dress that reaches your knees and pair it with a little funkier, flower printed blazer to bring some color into the outfit.

Punching the address into the GPS you see that it’s taking you to the outer skirt of the city to the neighborhood that’s known to have some quite luxurious estates and you immediately think back to what Heather said about him being ridiculously rich. Driving down the streets in your old Volkswagen you couldn’t stand out more at a place where at least three cars park on the driveways and one of them is a Ferrari or a Porsche.

There’s a massive security gate under the address that’s your destination and it’s left open so you can pull up to the driveway easily. You park next to a fucking Tesla, finding it extremely funny to see your car next to it, but it is what it is. Walking up to the front door you ring the bell as you take a look at the house that can easily considered to be a mansion. Guessing from the outside there are at least about five bedrooms in it and you can only imagine what other luxurious units are squeezed into it.

Soon enough the front door opens and you find yourself staring back at a breathtakingly gorgeous man, wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black suit pants, his chocolate curls falling to his forehead as his emerald eyes fall on you, a warm smile tugging on his lips.

Shit. Heather was fucking right, you think to yourself swallowing hard.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s so nice to see you. I’m Harry, Izzy’s dad, come on in!” he invites you inside before a short handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Styles.”

“Please, just call me Harry. I don’t like formalities at home,” he asks you as the two of you walk further inside until you arrive to what looks like a living room, but it’s actually the size of your apartment.

“Only if you call me Y/N,” you smile at him and he nods right away.

“Miss Y/N!” you hear a small voice call out and turning around you see Izzy running down the hallway until she throws herself against your legs.

“Oh, hello Sunshine!” you hum, squatting down so you can hug her.

“I missed you!” she pouts, rubbing her eyes.

“I missed you too,” you smile at her, caressing her soft cheeks before standing up. An older lady walks in, the one you’ve seen picking up Izzy. She approaches you with a friendly smile as she extends a hand towards you.

“Hi, I’m Ruth, it’s nice to meet you.” “Y/N, nice to meet you too.”

“Ruth, would you take Izzy outside while I talk to Miss—erm, Y/N here?” Harry requests. Ruth nods and taking Izzy’s hand she lures her outside to look for ladybugs in the backyard and that immediately catches her attention. The two of them leave through the sliding door, giving you and Harry privacy.

“Please, have a seat,” he gestures towards the sectional couch. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him as he sits in an armchair across you.

The interior of the house is quite cozy, kind of modern with a hint of vintage touches that make it less rigid, a pop of color showing at most corners so it’s not too monochrome. You quite like it.

“Y/N, I once again apologize for calling you at such an inappropriate hour, but I often work late and I wanted to get in touch with you as soon as possible upon hearing the news.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.”

“Isabelle mentioned it to me on Thursday that the other workers told her you no longer work at the daycare so I asked around a little yesterday and was informed that they let you go earlier in the week.”

“It was quite sudden for me as well,” you chuckle lightly, feeling a little anxious to talk about it.

��I know it’s not too appropriate, but I asked why they chose you to part ways with and I have to say it’s outraging that some parents are so ignorant and wayward. I’m really sorry this had to be the reason out of everything.”

“Thank you.” It actually feels nice that he thinks the same, this whole firing was ridiculous and you were losing hope in humanity, but Harry is now very much restoring it.

“Let me walk you through what the situation is here and what I was thinking about.” You nod and listen carefully. “I’m president of a record label and it consumes most of my time, I sometimes work sixty hours a week which I know is not ideal and healthy and I’m trying to change it, but it’s not an easy situation. I thought that putting Izzy into daycare was a good idea, but it’s been getting harder to work around her schedule as a single parent with so much work on my hands. Ruth is a family friend who has been helping tremendously with Izzy, but she is not getting any younger and she would like to retire fully and spend more time with her own grandkids. So I’ve been thinking about hiring a nanny for Izzy and try to make her days work around mine while I’m able to do that. She is going to start preschool in little over a year and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but it’s not easy when the schedule depends on an institution. When she told me about your firing I had the thought that you might be interested in taking the spot as her nanny. She is obsessed with you, wouldn’t stop talking about what you do every day, and I might have also looked into your professional background. I like what I’ve seen and I’m very much into the way you’ve been dealing with the kids at the daycare. Openness is really important and I want Izzy to grow up in an environment that teaches her about being equal and supportive towards each other. I would be more than happy if you’d be the one taking care of Izzy while I’m not available.”

To say the east you’re stunned at how forward and open he was about the offer and his compliment about your professional background is quite flattering. You can tell he is doing an amazing job at raising Izzy as an open and accepting human, she was always one of the nicest and sweetest kids who always made sure to include all her peers in the games you played. And it’s obvious Harry is not just being a hypocrite, his tattooed arm, painted nails and ring clad fingers are not quite what you’d traditionally imagine a man like him wear, but he does it well and clearly doesn’t give a fuck what others might think about it.

Harry continues with how much he thought you’d be earning for the job and you almost choke on your own saliva. It’s almost three times as much as you’ve been earning at the daycare and you’d be able to save a good chunk every month which is quite amazing.

“I have to ask, were you thinking about a situation where I live with you or I’d have to be coming here every day?”

“Well, essentially it would be the easiest for everyone if you moved in. I have plenty of rooms you could choose from and you’d have access to everything else as well, of course, including the home gym, the pool, the sauna and the entertainment room. But I understand if you are not willing to make that commitment. If you choose to live here you wouldn’t be charged anything, naturally.”

This actually sounds like a dream, moving into this luxury mansion from your cramped little apartment and being able to save the money you’ve been paying on rent.

“And what would be the time management? If I moved in it would easily make me fall into a habit of always working, which is not quite ideal,” you point it out.

“Of course,” he nods. “I like to take care of her morning routine so you’d have to start around nine when I leave to the office. If we can make this deal working I’d like her to start taking some extra classes during the day, moving her activities earlier in the day so her afternoons would be free. She takes piano lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays, a swimming instructor comes here on Thursdays and she is taking French lessons every Tuesday and Friday. Everything takes place here, I would reschedule her activities to take place between nine and twelve. You wouldn’t have to worry about her during those times. You’d cover lunch time and then the afternoons. I try to get home between four and six and just work from home if it’s possible so I can be around her. You’d have to only help out whenever I can’t make it home in time I have urgent works that have to be done from home. We could have dinner time together and then her night time routine is my duty again. Ruth is willing to help me out on Saturdays and I spend Sundays with her strictly without any work distraction so you’d have the weekends off unless something comes up. In those cases I would check in with you beforehand and arrange it however it works best for you.”

You’re speechless for a moment. What he just shared doesn’t seem too bad, you might have to work a lot more, but being one on one with just one kid is much easier than dealing with fifteen of them at once. Not to mention that the money is still amazing compared to what you’d have to be doing.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s an amazing offer. Izzy is such a sweet girl, I would be more than happy to take care of her.”

Harry smiles at you warmly, clearly proud of his daughter, as he should be.

“Can I ask for some time to think about it? It would be a huge commitment.” “Of course. Take your time and let me know whatever your decision is.”

“Thank you.”

Harry offers a quick tour in the house regardless, the kitchen is massive, they have a nice dining area with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out to the green slopes of the backyard that seems to be Izzy’s kingdom. She has a playhouse that could almost function as a real one, the pool is filled with floaties for her and she has her own playground further in the back with slides, monkey bars and a swing set. Your assumptions were almost right about the number of bedrooms. Beside Harry’s master and Izzy’s own room there’s one that’s been used by Ruth, one that’s for Harry’s mother and sister for whenever they are staying over and there are three additional rooms now serving as guest bedrooms, one of those would be turned into your room if you chose to move in. The gym seems better than the one you’ve been going whenever you felt like being a little active, the entertainment room has everything you could ever think about for a room this sort of and the sauna is already calling your name. Living and working here might actually feel like a vacation.

“Miss Y/N! Look what I found!” Izzy runs up to you when you and Harry step out to the backyard, holding her pointing finger up. A ladybug is wandering around her tiny finger, not even bothering with the amazed girl that’s inspecting it.

“Wow! How many dots do you see on it?” you ask and she knits her eyebrows together, counting the black dots.

“Five!”

“Yes, good job!” you ruffle her curls as she smiles up at you proudly. She really is an angel, you’ve grown to like her a lot and you would be lying if you said you didn’t get emotional over thinking about never seeing her again. Being able to take care of her and give her the best possible childhood would be such a dream and the chance to do that is right in front of you.

“I’ll be waiting for your call, Y/N,” Harry smiles at you walking you towards the front door.

“Harry, I don’t think you need to do that,” you speak up and see his face fall, he obviously took it the wrong way, thinking that you want to say no to his offer.

“Oh…”

“It’s not that,” you chuckle softly. “I would love to take the job. And if you’re still okay with that, I’d like to move in, it would make everything just so much easier.”

You watch as his expression changes from disappointed to hopeful as he cracks a smile nodding.

“Yeah, the offer is still there. When do you think you can start?”

“How soon do you want to pull Izzy out of daycare?”

“As soon as possible. If I have to I can go in on Monday and do all the paperwork. You could move in sometime during the week maybe?”

“I have to talk to my landlord about my lease, but I’m fine with moving in during the week,” you nod smiling and you can’t help but feel excited.

“That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

You discuss a few more details and then you head out, thinking about how the next time you’ll be coming here, you’ll be moving in.

“If this one doesn’t go to the donate box, I’m leaving right now.”

Heather holds up a pair of denim shorts, painted in the colors of the flag of the States. She holds it pinched between her index finger and thumb as if it was something nasty and disgusting

“You know I only bought that for that stupid frat party. I never wore that anywhere else, so you can put it into the donate box.”

“Thank God!” she groans and throws the shorts into said box.

It’s Sunday evening and your place looks like a warzone, boxes taking up the place everywhere as you’re packing your life up to officially move into the Styles mansion. You agreed with Harry to bring over a good chunk of your stuff on Monday and then settle in for real on Tuesday. He is pulling Izzy out of daycare first thing on Monday and you’d stay at home with her for the first time on Wednesday. It’s been a fast paced change, but you couldn’t care less. With the amount Harry is gonna pay you, you’ll be able to save up a good chunk every month, like you always wanted to.

As you finish putting your books away you reach the shelves that contain all your photo albums. Photography has been your passion for a long time. It started as a simple hobby sometime through your freshman year in high school, but in senior year, your photos filled the yearbook and you even did the design of it too. You’ve had a few gigs since then, some weddings and pregnancy shoots and you like to sell your photos individually as well. You wouldn’t have imagined how much a simple nature photo costs.

Flipping through the one on the top, you can’t help the bitter smile on your face as you see the photos from your brother’s 14th birthday three years ago. There are tons of family pictures with you, your brother Trevor and your parents, seemingly being all happy and joyful. Things were different back then and you didn’t see anything coming.

It’s past midnight by the time you more or less finish packing, you’ve filled three big boxes with things to donate so you have significantly less stuff to move to the Styles mansion in the morning. Heather spends the night, but leaves early in the morning since she needs to go to work. The moving van you rented out arrives a little after eleven and the two guys from the moving company helps you load it with about two thirds of your stuff. Harry is at work when you arrive and Izzy is still at the daycare, Ruth is the only one at home, she helps you out even though you tell her not to break a sweat over it.

“Let me help, makes me feel needed,” she chuckles sweetly when you try to get her to stop, but she insists on bringing in some smaller bags and boxes.

You’re still unpacking when Ruth arrives back with Izzy a little after four. You hear her little feet tapping against the floor as she runs down the hallway, bursting into your future room.

“Miss Y/N! You’re here!” she cheers, throwing herself into your arms as you sit on the floor, being the perfect level for the little girl.

“I am! How was your day, little Sunshine?”

“We finger painted and I made a painting for daddy, do you want to see it?”

“Of course!”

Izzy disappears to get her backpack from Ruth who is making her some snacks in the kitchen. She soon returns with her painting, presenting it to you proudly.

“Look! This is me and this is daddy!” she points at the two human-like figures, the only thing giving away who is who is that one of them is bigger than the other one. “And then this is mommy!” she then adds, pointing at a star in the upper corner of the painting and you freeze.

In the midst of everything, you didn’t even have the time to question why Harry is a single parent. To be honest your first guess would have been divorce, but Izzy’s painting is telling you something a lot more tragic.

“It’s beautiful,” you smile at her, trying to hide your surprise at the new information. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Ruth makes sure Izzy is busy while you finish up unpacking and when you’re about to be done, Harry arrives home. Approaching your room even though the door is open he knocks on the doorframe, catching your attention.

“Hello, just wanted to see how things are going. Do you need help with anything? I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to help with the boxes and all…”

“Hi! Oh don’t worry about that, I had plenty of help,” you shrug smiling. “Everything is going fine, thank you.”

“Great. I did all the paperwork today, tomorrow is going to be Izzy’s last day at daycare. You’re still up to start on Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I only have a few things left at home so I’ll be all set by tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much,” he smiles warmly. “And thank you for being so quick about everything. It means a lot to me that I can spend more time with Izzy thanks to you. I really appreciate it.”

“I should be thanking you the opportunity. I wasn’t really drowning in the job offers,” you chuckle making him smile as well. “Please let me know if you want me to change anything, I have a plan I would like to go around with Izzy’s days, but of course, your word is the most important.”

“I trust you to take good care of her during the day. The only thing I want is to have her home when I get home. Ruth couldn’t always pick her up before and I really hated to do the extra trip and pick her up from daycare instead of coming straight home to be with her.”

“Understandable. I’ll make sure to plan accordingly,” you nod smiling.

“Y/N, I want you to feel home as much as possible. This is your place just as much as it is ours now. Izzy and I go grocery shopping every Sunday, it’s kind of a father-daughter thing we do every week. We keep a list on the fridge, feel free to add whatever you need and we’ll get it.”

You can’t help the smile that stretches across your lips, because this is such a sweet thing to do, when Harry could easily afford someone to do the work for him. Yet he still uses this time to be with his daughter.

“Yeah, sure, thank you!”

“I’ll get out of your hair now. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Oh, no, but thank you. I still have some things to take care of before tomorrow.”

“Alright,” he nods before walking out. He leaves you thinking hard about him. You wonder what really happened to Izzy’s mom and if he is dating someone right now. A man like him is basically a dream to any woman, you doubt he is having a hard time finding a partner, but you haven’t seen any sign of another woman around the house. Guess you’ll have to wait and figure it out yourself.

The apartment is awfully empty on your last night here. When you moved in about a year ago you didn’t think you’d be moving into a mansion from here. You spend the evening cleaning out a bit so you leave the place in good condition. Your landlord was terribly nice about your early leave, you could easily agree that you’d pay for the two more weeks that’s left from the month and that would be all, no extra costs for moving out before your lease was up.

You’re cleaning off the kitchen counter when your phone starts ringing, it’s a video call from your brother.

“Hey there! What’s up?” you ask, propping up the phone on top of the microwave while you move around, doing your thing. Trevor seems to be lying in bed, a black hoodie covering his upper body.

“Hello, just wanted to see how the moving has gone today.”

Despite the ten year age gap between you and Trevor, your relationship couldn’t be better. Probably because you were old enough to see what a blessing a sibling really is when he was born.

“Everything went smoothly. I only have a few stuff to bring over, that can fit into my car tomorrow, so it’s fine.”

“Cool. How is the dude? What was his name again?”

“Harry. Harry Styles.” You see him pull his laptop to his lap and probably searches up Harry’s name before his eyes widen at the screen.

“This dude is big! He is the president of HES Records, they run some of the most popular singers these days.”

“Yeah? I was sure he is a big name judging from his mansion,” you chuckle.

“Have you looked him up yet?”

“Not really.” “Want me to read what’s here about him?”

“Sure,” you hum, continuing to clean while you listen to Trevor.

“Alright. Apparently he is thirty-one, took over the record company when he was just twenty-five because his father wanted to retire early. The number of talents working under the label has doubled since he has taken over and many of his clients have won Grammy Awards. Impressive,” he hums, scrolling down on whatever site he has just found. “He is known to be a private person, the last time he made an appearance… Oh shit…” Trevor breathes out and you turn to your phone with furrowed eyebrows.

“What?”

“Wow, this shit is heavy. It says the last time he made a public appearance was in 2017, not long before his wife was killed in a car accident.”

You freeze, feeling your stomach drop to the floor, immediately thinking back at Izzy’s painting of her family. It very much makes sense why she said the star was her mother, it must be the way Harry explained to her what happened to her mother.

“It happened in 2018, she wasn’t in the fault, a drunk driver ignored the red light and ran into her car at a crossroad. This is terrible, oh God.”

“Poor Izzy, she probably doesn’t even know what really happened.”

“Must have been hard on him, there’s not much about him since then.”

“Can’t blame him for not wanting to be in the spotlight after losing his wife.”

“Yeah.”

Trevor shows you a few pictures of him from years ago, he has always been handsome, but your favorites are the few from the times when he had long hair. He looked so different, like a whole other person, but still, he rocked it perfectly.

Then you show Trevor around in the empty apartment before loving to the couch, turning all your attention to him.

“How have things been?” you ask with a sigh. Trevor purses his lips and shrugs.

“Other than the constant screaming matches on the phone and endless fights every time dad comes over for more of his stuff? Everything is rainbows and butterflies.”

“Is it really that bad?” you scowl.

“It’s like they never run out of stuff to throw at each other, but I feel like this much couldn’t happen even in their twenty-eight years together,” he scoffs making you chuckle.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all that.”

“It’s like payback,” he hums and you give him a puzzled look. “You had it bad growing up for being the surprise baby, making them teen parents. Then I came at a reasonable time, they already knew the drill, but now that you’re out of the house I’m getting all the shit, having to deal with their divorce.”

“I’m really sorry, Trev,” you sigh, feeling guilty that he is all alone at home.

“It’s fine, I don’t blame you,” he shrugs. “But you could make it better if you asked your millionaire boss if I could hang out at his house sometimes.” He grins at you slyly and you roll your eyes. Of course he is already thinking about using you for his own good!

“I don’t want to push the boundaries just yet, but I’ll see what I can do.”

You talk a little more about school and what he’s been up to with his friends before ending the call. You take a shower and go to bed right away, feeling extremely worn out from all the packing you’ve done through the day.

The next day you pack the remainder of your stuff into your car and then your landlord comes over to do a checkup, though he fully trusts you took good care of the place.

“Again, thank you for your understanding, I didn’t plan to leave so early, but it just kinda came up,” you tell him, handing him over your keys.

“Don’t worry about it. I hope your new place will treat you right,” he smiles kindly at you.

You chat a little longer before you leave and head over to your new home. Once again, Ruth is the only one home and being the angel that she is, she helps you to carry your stuff up from the car before leaving to get Izzy from daycare. Since there’s not much left to unpack you finish quite fast, leaving you some extra time alone in the house. Walking around you try to learn your way around, still finding it a bit of a maze. You find Harry’s home office’s door open and after a bit of hesitation you step inside, just taking a look around. Yeah, it’s kind of a nosy thing to do, but you couldn’t help yourself.

His space is quite clear, he keeps his stuff neatly organized. Certificates and plaques are hung up on the wall, showing off his many successes in the business. There’s a huge bookcase near his desk and there you see some family photos… ones that include his late wife as well.

She was beautiful. There’s a picture of the three of them in the hospital from the day Izzy was born, Harry has an arm around his wife’s shoulders who is holding baby Izzy, both of them radiating happiness as they just become parents. Your heart breaks when you see the photo next to it, it’s just Harry and her in Paris, the Eiffel tower standing tall behind them as they are grinning widely at each other, foreheads touching. Harry has his arms wrapped around her slim figure while she is hugging his neck. They look so happy and in love, like they were always meant to be with each other. Knowing what tragedy hit them is just hard to process even for you, who never even met the woman.

You hear the front door open and Izzy is laughing at something, so you rush out before anyone could catch you snooping around.

“Hi Miss Y/N!” she chirps upon seeing you when you meet them in the living room.

“Izzy, you don’t have to call me Miss Y/N, Y/N is perfectly fine,” you smile at her, caressing her rosy cheeks.

“Okay. Ruth, can I please have some ice-cream?”

“I’m afraid we ran out of ice-cream, but I’ll put it on your grocery list,” Ruth tells her, a pout tugging on Izzy’s lips.

“How about this: I’m gonna make a delicious smoothie, that’s almost like melted ice-cream, would you like some?” you offer and her eyes brighten up immediately, nodding right away.

While Ruth puts away Izzy’s things they brought home from daycare, while the two of you move to the kitchen to make the smoothie together. You find some frozen berries in the freezer and pair them with bananas, putting them all into the blender with oatmilk, blending it all together.

“How is it?” you ask Izzy, who is sitting on top of the counter, tasting the pink smoothie that leaves a cute little mustache above her cherry lips.

“I like it!” she smiles, scrunching her nose.

“We can make it some other time then,” you smile, drinking up your portion.

Izzy is dancing around the kitchen, babbling about her last day at daycare while you clean the glasses and the blender when Harry arrives. He is wearing a baby blue suit with a crispy dress shirt underneath, looking fashionable but still business appropriate at the same time.

“Daddy!” Izzy launches towards her daddy, who catches her, throwing her into the air before holding her in his arms, joining you in the kitchen.

“Hey baby. How was your day?”

“Good, all my friends hugged me but I told them we would meet in the park.”

“That’s right, and I have the number of all your friends’ parents, we can have playdates with them whenever you want to,” he smiles before his eyes meet yours. “Hi Y/N, everything went well with the rest of your moving?”

“Yeah, I’m all set,” you smile back at him.

“That’s great. I have a few calls to make, but I’ll be done in thirty probably. Would you mind looking out for Izzy in the meanwhile?”

“Of course. She promised me to take me around her room, so we could do that, what do you say?” you ask the little girl who nods in excitement.

Harry disappears in his office and Izzy pulls you to her room, showing you just about every toy she owns. Her room is a typical girl’s room, the walls are painted a light pink color, her bedframe resembles a castle and she has a dollhouse as big as your previous bathroom. Harry clearly spoils her rotten, but what you noticed is that she is not one of those annoying bratty only children who can’t take no. She was clearly taught how to behave and always listen to the adults.

While Izzy is putting her stuffed animals away after introducing you to all of them, you spot a photo frame near her bed, decorated with macaroni. You remember when you all did that together at daycare and now you get to see the photo that ended up behind the glass.

It’s a photo of Izzy and her mother, she was just a baby and doing quick math in your head you realize it must have been not long before her accident, might even be the last picture taken of the two of them. Her mom is smiling at the camera while Izzy is sleeping in her arms peacefully. Izzy looked a lot like her when she was a baby, the bridge of her nose and her lips resembled her mother’s, though now she appears to take more after her dad with her chocolate curls and piercing green eyes.

“That’s my mommy,” she tells you when she sees you looking at the photo.

“It’s a nice picture,” you smile at her, trying your best to hide how heartbroken you feel even just looking at the photo.

“Daddy said she had to go up to the sky, but she is watching me from there,” she explains, clearly not entirely sure what it means, but you can tell she misses her. “Daddy said she is living between the stars now and that she loves me very much.” You need to fight your tears back at her words.

“I’m sure of that too,” you breathe out smiling at her.

“Izzy, do you want to help me make dinner?” Harry walks in smiling, though it disappears for a moment when he sees the two of you looking at the photo of his wife, but he is quick to control himself.

“Yes! What are we making?” she runs over to him, jumping up and down.

“Uh, chicken and veggies.”

You step away from the photo, pretending like nothing just happened. You’re dying to discuss it with Harry, hear him talk about it, but you won’t push him. If he wants to share it, he’ll come to you.

“Alright, come on then,” he smiles down at her. “Thank you for watching her, I’ll take over from here. Food will be ready in about an hour, Ruth is staying with us as well,” he informs you.

“Great, I’ll… I’ll be in my room,” you nod.

The first two weeks on the job brush past smoothly. It takes you some time to get used to your new home, but taking care of Izzy doesn’t feel like work, so you’re feeling amazing in your new job. You easily fall into a schedule with her.

The mornings are always Harry’s duty. He wakes her up around seven-thirty, makes her breakfast and dresses her for the day before he leaves around nine. Thanks to this habit of his, you’re able to sleep in until eight, leaving you plenty of time to get ready for your day with Izzy before Harry has to leave. Depending on the weather, the two of you then either take over the back yard or move to her room for some play time before her class of the day starts in the noon. Piano with Rosaline on Mondays and Wednesdays, French lesson with Lyon on Tuesdays and Fridays and then Izzy’s favorite on Thursdays, swimming class with Kitty.

Izzy loves to help in the kitchen so you usually make lunch together. Once her tummy is full she takes a nap before you sit down to learn something new every day. You’ve been teaching her the numbers and the alphabet, or some days you just talk about anything that interests her and learn at least two things she hasn’t know yet, all through games so she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing. You’re usually done by around three, leaving you time to take a visit to the park, if Harry is not planning to take her himself later that day.

You’re strictly home by four, unless it’s Tuesday when she has her dance class until five. Those days you drive her to her class, run some quick errands and pick her up. Harry usually uses his extra time in the office on these days, but he is always home by six to have dinner together with his daughter.

Once Harry is home you’re off duty, though you like to stay close, not just in case something comes up for Harry, but because you genuinely like spending time with Izzy and Harry, seeing them interacting.

Harry sometimes has to work on Saturdays as well, but just as he promised Ruth is always here to take over duty on those days, leaving you free for the whole weekend. It’s been working perfectly for you and those very few concerns you had about moving in dissolve quite fast as soon as you start working.

Though it’s been pretty clear to you before, you now one hundred percent sure that Harry is living for his daughter. She is always a priority, he doesn’t hesitate to decline any work calls he gets in the evenings if Izzy needs him, if she is a little fussy and wants her daddy’s attention or when they are in the middle of a game. He is clearly trying to keep a balance between his work and role as a father and from what you’ve seen, it seems like he is doing an amazing job in that. However you haven’t learned much else about him. He is all friendly towards you, but makes sure to keep it business casual, not quite keen on getting to know each other better as just friends, maybe.

A Friday afternoon you’re having a little tea party in the backyard with Izzy when Harry arrives home, but this time, he is not alone. Through the sliding door you spot him with a blonde guy who is talking very articulately as Harry is typing on his phone. The man looks about Harry’s age, but you can’t tell if he is a friend or a business partner, but if Harry brought him home, he is more likely to be a friend of his.

“Uncle Niall!” Izzy gasps when he spots the man through the glass and abandoning the tea party, she starts running towards the door. The man spots her and slides the door open grinning widely before she jumps into his arms.

“Little bugger! How are ya?” the man laughs, holding Izzy in a tight hug before leaning back to take a good look at her. You notice his thick Irish accent and it suits his appearance quite well. You head inside as well, in case Harry needs Izzy busy for a little longer, though he doesn’t mind having her around, kissing the top of her head before finishing up whatever he was doing on his phone, watching Niall and Izzy smiling.

“I’m having a tea party with Y/N, wanna join?” Izzy invites the man, who then looks at you for the first time, smiling widely.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, Izzy’s new nanny,” you introduce yourself, holding out a hand that he shakes, keeping Izzy in his other arm without a problem.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Niall.”

“Y/N, Niall is an old friend of mine. He is joining us for dinner, hope you don’t mind,” Harry informs you and you find it funny how he is kind of asking for your approval when it’s his house.

“Not at all.”

“Harry has told me he hired a pair of new hands to help, but he didn’t mention it’s a stunning young woman!” Niall beams, making you blush right away.

“Ni, I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to pick up my daughter’s new nanny,” Harry warns him lightly, though there’s some firmness in his tone, not that it scares Niall in any way, he even winks at you.

“Oh come on, you can’t expect me not to flirt when you surround yourself with so many pretty women! First Ruth and now Y/N!”

You smile at him, something is telling you he wasn’t joking and he tried to flirt with Ruth as well. Harry just rolls his eyes at his friend, taking Izzy from him.

“Keep it in your pants, Niall,” Harry tells him and though it’s nothing vulgar, it catches Izzy’s attention.

“What should he keep in his pants?” she questions, making your and Harry’s eyes grow big right away. Luckily, Niall keeps his cool and takes care of the situation.

“My attitude, Sweetie. Your daddy is just jealous because I’m more handsome than he is,” he smirks at the little girl, successfully avoiding an awkward conversation about what it is that Niall should keep in his pants.

You smile at his reply, even though you are not that sure about the comparison he just made between himself and Harry.

“Izzy, do you want to continue the tea party?” you ask her and even though just a minute ago she was inviting Niall to join her, now she shakes her head no. “Alright, I’ll pack it up then.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll do it, right Izzy? She brought it all out, she is going to be the one packing it up,” Harry reminds her and she nods.

The two of them move outside to put her little tea set back into the basket she keeps it in, leaving you and Niall alone.

“So Y/N, how did you end up here?”

“I was working at Izzy’s daycare, but they sent me away not long ago. Then Harry contacted me and offered the job which was a lifesaver, truly.”

“That’s great! Well, not that you got fired, but that you ended up here. I know it means a lot for Harry that he can spend more time with Izzy, you’re making everything a lot easier for him.” Niall walks over into the kitchen and grabs a water for himself as he leans against the counter. “I can see that he is a lot more relaxed now already.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised.

“Yeah. I know he always used to stress about picking Izzy up, or forgetting something the daycare asked for. Now he can make it all work just how he wants to, that fits him a lot more. It hasn’t been easy on him since Maggie’s death.”

This is the first time you hear anyone talk about Harry’s wife and now you just learned her name. Maggie.

“Being a single parents is never easy,” you add with a soft smile, not wanting to interrogate Niall about Maggie. It’s Harry’s place to tell you about her, if he wants to, of course.

Soon enough Izzy and Harry take over the kitchen, Niall helping them this time and you leave them alone, taking some time for yourself in your room. Later you go out to check if there’s anything you could help with, Harry asks you to set the table as he finishes up the cooking.

“So, Y/N. Tell me a little bit about yourself!” Niall asks you over dinner.

“Um, what do you want to know?” you ask, feeling a little flustered to be in the spotlight.

“I don’t know, family, friends, hobbies?”

“Well, I have a younger brother, Trevor. He is seventeen and already taller than me.”

“Oh, that seems like a big age gap.”

“Ten years, to be exact,” you nod. “He was planned, I wasn’t,” you add with a soft chuckle. “But we have a great relationship, so it’s all good. We talk almost every day.”

“I’m sure you’ll get well along with Gemma then!” Niall beams, glancing at Harry.

“Gemma is my sister,” Harry explains. “Though she is not that much older than me.”

“But you can bond over being stuck with a younger brother who outgrew you,” Niall jokes making all three of you laugh.

All through dinner you realize how different Niall is from Harry, but in a good way. While Harry is more quiet and calm, Niall is kind of all over the place, buzzing and chatting every chance he got, but the two of them make a great pair, bringing what the other doesn’t have to the table.

After dinner you attempt to leave them again, but Niall makes you stay as they open a glass of wine. Harry puts on a movie for Izzy to keep her busy, giving the three of you a chance to sit out at the terrace from where you still can keep an eye on the little girl inside.

“Alright, Y/N. When are we going on our first date then?” Niall asks out of the blue, a cocky smile tugging on his lips.

“Niall, for fuck’s sake,” Harry breathes out as you let out an awkward chuckle.

“What? I think there’s some electricity going on between us.”

“I, uhh—I don’t…”

“Please don’t turn me down!” he sighs dramatically, making you smile.

“You’ve been great company, but I’m not sure we should go out,” you tell him. He huffs in disappointment, but it’s clear he didn’t take it to his heart.

“Is it because you’re taken? I didn’t even ask, are you dating anyone? You can’t be engaged, because I don’t see any rings,” he points out, nodding towards your naked fingers, however his words make you suck on your breath.

“I’m not engaged. Not anymore,” you admit and you watch their eyes go wide at the information.

“Wait, you’ve been engaged before?” Harry asks, clearly surprised, if not shocked.

“Yeah. For about four months,” you nod, running your tongue over your lips as you reach for your wine, taking a few large gulps.

“And what did the fucker do?” Niall bluntly questions, earning a look from Harry. “What? I’m just curious what twat it takes to lose a woman like her!”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about that,” Harry presses, but you shrug.

“It’s not a secret. We dated for about two years before he proposed. I said yes, started planning the wedding and everything, then found out that he had been cheating on me with his assistant for about a year. We broke up, simple as that. It’s in the past, happened a year ago.”

“That’s some next level asshole bullshit,” Niall shakes his head while Harry is just staring at you with an unreadable look before he turns his attention at his glass, still clearly deep in his thoughts and you wonder what he thinks of you now. Here is the loser who not only got cheated on, but lost her job, all of that just in one year.

Harry doesn’t react, and a moment later Izzy comes out because she is thirsty, so daddy duties call him away. Niall stays a little, but heads home soon as well.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. The date still stands though,” he smirks when he pulls back from the short hug he enveloped you in.

“Alright,” you chuckle, slowly getting used to his flirty act.

You was the wine glasses and head back to your room while Harry walks Niall out and then takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath. You don’t cross paths until later when you leave your room, already in your pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt to grab some water for yourself and he walks out of Izzy’s room just then, probably done with putting her to sleep.

“I’m sorry if Niall made you uncomfortable, he didn’t mean to be rude or anything,” he apologizes as the two of you walk together.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you chuckle softly. “It was kind of a boost to my ego, if I’m being honest.”

Harry huffs with a smile and stops at the kitchen island, his fingers tapping on his lips as you grab yourself a bottled water.

“I’m… I’m sorry about… about what you told us earlier.”

Closing the fridge you look at him, seeing that he is kind of hesitant, like he is not sure he should have spoken up, but you appreciate the thought.

“It’s alright. Just water under the bridge,” you shrug.

“I just feel bad you had to go through that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you chuckle softly. “It sucked, yeah. I really thought I would live happily ever after with Keith, but instead I got a lesson.”

“A lesson?”

“When we broke up I was obviously on the floor, both literal and theoretical way. I thought it was my fault, that I did something wrong and that’s why he did what he did. I even thought that I’m not worthy of being loved and being in love again. Took me time to realize that no matter what happened, I still deserve to be happy and to find someone to love and who can love me back.”

It appears that your words touch him deep, staring back at you, he just nods shortly, not replying to anything you just said. You’re not sure he is so silent because he doesn’t really understand what you just talked about or if it hit too close to home. Whatever it is, he keeps it to himself.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him before walking out of the kitchen and up into your room.

You’re lying in bed already when you hear him open his room’s door and then close it and suddenly he is all you can think about. The way his eyes sometimes pierce down on you, the way he taps his fingers against his lips when he is thinking hard or the proud smile that always plasters across his face whenever he is watching Izzy do basically anything. But you do see some pain in those beautiful green eyes of his and your desire to take just the smallest fracture of it away grows, even though he is not showing any sign that he is willing to share it with you.

The next morning, despite having the day off, you wake up quite early. You toss and turn, try to fall back asleep a little longer, but you just can’t. It’s a nice, warm morning and you decide to take advantage of the little balcony attached to your room. Wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe you grab the book you started reading a few days ago and sit out, enjoying the morning Sun that’s shining right at you on the balcony.

You don’t even realize for a while that you’re not the only early riser. When your eyes wander down to the big oak tree that’s near Izzy’s playground, you spot Harry doing what appears to be yoga on a green mattress, wearing nothing else, just a pair of black shorts. No shirt.

For a moment you think about going inside, feeling like you’re invading his privacy in a way, but you have the right to enjoy the morning Sun on your balcony, it’s not your fault he decided to have yoga at the exact same time. And it’s just hard not to look at his shirtless body stretching in all directions, twisting and turning as he goes through the motions, his tattooed body on full display.

It’s been clear since the moment you laid eyes on him for the first time that Harry is probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever met and that includes all your exes. Paired with his kind of mysterious charisma and the way he takes care of his daughter, he is the whole package, but you have been busy with Izzy to dwell too long on how attractive he really is. But right now, you are not working and he is very much shirtless in the backyard, teasing you with thoughts you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about when it comes to your boss.

A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you let yourself watch him just for a few more minutes before heading back inside, not wanting to get busted for being a stalker and also not wanting to see him in more positions and have even more unholy thoughts about him.

But what you don’t know is that just as you step inside, Harry catches your figure disappearing in your room, knowing well you saw him too.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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sewercentipede · 2 years

Text

im bout to fucking pull my hair out and set myself on fire, this is gonna be a fucking rant

im soficking mad and confused whty my husband won’t like listen to me at all about how to deal with doctors and what tests he should be asking for and that he should be getting the results from lab work and that his healthcare experience is Not Good (in fact it’s ACTIVELY NEGLIGENT) and its not going to get him help and he needs a different PCP bc his is a piece of shit and he wont let me come to appointments with him so I can ask for all the tests and labs and results and things that he should be asking for but doesn’t because he unlike me has no experience trying to get a doctor to help diagnose what his symptoms are and has no idea WHAt to even ask for

like why are you refusing to use me as a resource???????? because i personally stress you out by telling you you’re not being treated correctly and how? (BOO FUCKING HOO???) and because you don’t give a shit about if ur symptoms are a possible genuine gastrointestinal disease? What was the point of me going Through seeing like 9 different motherfucking gastrointestinal specialists and doing countless diagnostic procedures and labs and figuring out the ins and outs of how to deal with doctors and hospitals, if I can’t even use any of that information, accumulated through a decade of medical trauma by -the-fucking-way, to help someone i love NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT ???? GOD FORBID I TRY TO USE MY EXPERIENCE HELP SOMEONE ????

if I had treated my healthcare the way he does, which is basically complete apathy and complete trust in doctors, I would never have figured out I have crohns for years and years of horrific suffering until one day I’d have to go to the ER and I’d be told, “hey guess what you have crohns and we have to remove all a bunch of your intestines”

like no. No ???? The only reason I havnt had surgical removal of intestine is because when the first doctor said “ibs” with one blood test, I asked for a second doctor and more tests. And when the new doctor did more tests and said IBS I asked for a third doctor and more tests. And when the third did more tests and said IBS I asked for a fourth doctor and more tests. And when the fourth doctor did more tests and said IBS I thought maybe. Maybe. But none of the treatments are helping at all. So I asked for a fifth doctor and more tests and the fifth doctor did more tests, and more tests, and more tests and found CROHNS DISEASE. And she told me ,,,,,, the crohns was visible on my imaging back with doctor #2. And my bloodwork had been abnormal in the ways crohns would make it abnormal. All it took was 6 years and 5 gastro specialists, 4 of whom DIDNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT DOING THEIR JOB THOROUGHLY, and then, 2 more years and 4 more crohns specialists, before having a semi-normal quality of life and achieving remission (until recently at least).

so hmm idk, when my husband is complaining of very abnormal gastrointestinal symptoms for a whole year, I have to wonder what fucking stupid shit he is smoking to think I won’t want to help him expedite the process of getting a correct diagnosis and help him avoid what I went thru......... because I know FOR A GODDAMN FACT, that NOBODY will advocate for your health to be taken seriously EXCEPT FOR YOU (or if you’re lucky, a loved one). doctors ARE NOT THERE TO ADVOCATE FOR YOU. if you dont take an active role in your medical care by holding doctors accountable , YOU WILL fall through the cracks

I remmeber My therapist told me that yeah least after I went thru all that, almost a decade of arguable-medical-malpractice, trauma, unnecessary invasive procedures, horrible pain and suffering of having to deal with untreated crohns, AT LEAST the meaning and benefit I can create out of that nightmare is that I can prevent other people from having to go any of the shit i went through because I can tell them what to ask for, what to do, deal with doctors and hospitals and not settle for shitty apathetic doctors or first opinions

but in reality she was wrong because I can’t even do that for my husband. Everything I went through continues to have no meaning and benefits nobody

#long post #KILL #KILL THEMALL #all of them #everyone #all doctors #all husbands #all diseases #kill them all

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padsnprongs · 3 years

Text

wolfstar headcanons that ✨just make sense✨

french sirius and welsh remus

they would speak to each other in their different languages all the time, mostly just to mess with each other.

they’d also say really romantic things, but in their different language, so the other wouldn’t know

remus is like insanely tall, but always slouches, whereas sirius is literally a dwarf but stands up really tall (talk about that ✨aristocracy✨ you know)

when remus had his growth spurt in the summer of fifth year, sirius was, understandably, shocked

but also maybe a little annoyed

how was he supposed to kiss him now?

in the end he decided to just grab his tie and pull him down

which remus didn't particularly mind

remus keeps his hair short, because it gets in the way. sirius loves remus' hair, because of how curly it is - remus hates it for the same reason

'I look like an idiot, pads!'

'no, you look cute.'

after sirius started living with the potters', his hair grew long, finally free of the strict rules of grimmauld place

when remus saw his long hair for the first time, on the train platform, he fell in love with him a little more

sirius turns into padfoot on the days surrounding the full moon to comfort remus. he’s literally like a therapy dog at this point.

sirius’ bed hasn’t been slept in since fifth year

cuddles

so many cuddles

lots of pda, much to james’ disgust

‘ugh, you guys, get a room!’

‘prongsie stop being homophobic.’

‘im not- what am i even supposed to say to that??’

‘nothing, that’s the point.’

sirius has a tattoo of the full moon that changes with the moon phases and remus has a tattoo of the canis major constellation - while the rest are just inked on, the sirius star seems to be actually glowing.

remus always seems to lose his jumpers, even though they’re some of his most valued items of clothing. he will eventually find sirius wearing them, but he can’t even be mad because sirius just looks so adorable in them.

remus, in return, will steal sirius’ leather jacket, which sirius doesn’t particularly mind. james, however, gets especially mad whenever this happens

‘well how come he’s allowed to wear it and I’m not? I’m literally your brother!’

sirius rests his head on remus’ lap whilst remus reads to him, and remus will stroke his hand through sirius' hair

remus loves to french plait his hair, and sirius is adamant about leaving the plait in for as long as possible

‘sirius, it’s been three days, you need to wash your hair! I can always re-plait it!’

‘...fine. but only if you promise.’

remus is constantly freezing cold, which shows through the countless jumpers and scarves he will pile on, even in the height of summer

his feet alone are like blocks of ice, which sirius never misses an opportunity to complain about whenever they share a bed

sirius, on the other hand, is a human sauna, and will still be wearing shorts in the middle of winter

when they cuddle, their contrasting levels of body heat cancel each other out perfectly

basically, whenever remus gets too cold, or sirius gets too hot, you’ll undoubtedly find them clinging to each other

sirius always gets really worried after the full moon, and insists on looking after remus - he makes sure he has enough pillows, sneaks him food because the hospital wing food isn’t the nicest, makes him drink water, takes notes for him during the lessons he misses, and just generally stays by his side as long as he can, until madam pomfrey has to kick him out

sirius worries so much during and after the full moon that it often makes remus feel guilty, but he also finds it really sweet that sirius cares so much

he still tries to make sirius see sense and stop him from worrying, because he has really bad self esteem issues after the full moon and doesn’t think he deserves it. whenever he tries to tell sirius this, he says that sirius shouldn’t feel obligated to look after him, because he’s a monster.

every single time, sirius will take his hand, look into his eyes, and tell him firmly, ‘you are not a monster, moony.’

peter will then add that ‘you fold your socks, moony, we’re not exactly scared of you.’

and remus will wonder how he got so lucky as to have such amazing friends

whenever sirius is ill, remus will try his best to return the favour. sirius will insist that he doesn’t get ill, ‘don’t worry, remus, I’m fine’, even though he can barely move

but remus won’t listen, and turns into a proper mother hen, fussing over him and making sure he has everything he need, just trying to repay sirius for all he does during the full moons

illness = constant cuddles

but lbr there are constant cuddles regardless

they got together because they both kept confiding in james and lily about their unrequited feelings and how hopelessly in love they were, and james and lily got sick of it and decided to work together to set them up bc they were both so hopelessly oblivious.

that’s also how lily got to know james better, and see that he wasn’t as arrogant as she thought, and he actually cares deeply about his friends

but these are wolfstar headcanons not jily so moving on

they had a very touchy feely relationship even before they got together. they were always very close, and their bond was different than it was with james and peter

sirius loves to bake, whilst remus loves to cook, but if they try to do it the other way around, bad things happen

they would often sneak into the kitchens late at night and try to make something, fool around, mess up, and end up snogging surrounded by the mess of ingredients

late nights on the astronomy tower!! they did this even before they got together; when either of them couldn’t sleep, they would go up there and just sit together and look at the stars. their first date was a picnic up there, and it became their own special place where they both felt safe

nose kisses!! forehead kisses!! cheek kisses!! adorable

whenever they're messing about they'll almost always end up in each others arms, saying ‘I hate you’ whilst grinning bc they both know that they don’t mean it and it’s actually the exact opposite

when sirius can’t sleep, he’ll watch remus (in like. a non-creepy way) and count his freckles. once remus caught him in the act and thought it was the softest thing he’d ever seen

remus talks in his sleep. sometimes he just mutters random words that don’t make sense, and sometimes he can have full on conversations with sirius.

sirius thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and teases remus mercilessly about it in the mornings, even though remus has no memory of it and denies everything.

when they’re alone in the hospital wing after a full moon, sirius will hold remus’ hand and sing softly to comfort him and help him sleep.

remus absolutely adores sirius' voice, and tries to get him to sing more, and in front of other people, but sirius is adamant that the only reason he sings to remus is because it helps soothe him, and his voice isn’t all that great.

his lack of self confidence about his voice is due to his parents constantly yelling at him to stop singing, because they said it was annoying and he didn’t have a good voice, and he believed them, and still does. It’s one of his biggest insecurities.

the first time they said they loved each other was actually an accident. they had gotten all caught up in planning a prank and sirius smirked and said, ‘aren’t i just the most creative person you’ve ever met?’, with a dramatic flip of his hair

remus just chuckled and replied, ‘that’s why I love you.’

remus didn’t even realise he’d said it out loud until he saw sirius staring at him with a dropped jaw.

then remus panicked, but before he could get up and leave, sirius grinned and said it back.

and then they kissed, obviously

remus may be tough and sarcastic and sirius may be proud and overconfident but they’re both big softies really

remus cheers sirius on at every single quidditch practice, come rain or shine

he says he’s just supporting his boyfriend, but secretly he thinks Sirius looks really good in that quidditch jersey

remus loves it when sirius wears eyeliner. no reason. just looks cool.

literally everyone had a bet on when they would get together. minnie and dumbledore, james and pete, lily and marlene, james and lily, james and dorcas...

james likes betting

there are frequent updates on their relationship in the staff room, because all of the teachers just know they're meant to be

the teachers had a field day when they first got together

madam pomfrey, especially, always sees them together in the hospital wing, and by fourth year, is their no1 shipper

they both get frequent nightmares, and will always comfort each other and cuddle after because they feel safe in each other’s arms.

literally the least toxic relationship ever. they’re both incredibly honest with each other, always talk to each other about how they feel, but also have that perfect balance of banter

if not soulmates, why moon and stars??

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years

Note

YES!!! it makes more sense for them to be in a town instead of 1 major apartment-like building cuz lord knows how mucb trouble they cause for poor dark whos gotta deal with all the damage.

they now have their own actual spaces to live in, can have personal friends over who are not familiar with any other egos

or most importanlty, dark aint gotta deal with their dumbassery of idk setting the oven on fire at 4am. if they live in their own place, thats THEIR responsibility now.

also the whole ego mansion would probably be extremely overwhelming for new egos cuz. what. why do you have my face. what do you mean youre me. im me???

i bet the new egos just get sent to either darks or y/ns place so they can slowly help the new ego to get used to this new place and their alternate selves.

maybe them being considered "lucky" for getting to live with y/n cuz they (besides dark) have the most expirience with new egos and them just being argueably nicer and less scary to be around.

or if y/n and dark share a house, the new ego basically using y/n like a shield from dark. think of a kid hiding behind their mom for stealing candy while their dad is scolding them

((like i bet someone like yancy DEFINETLY just hid behind y/n the whole time when first brought to his new (temporary) home at y/ns and darks place))

maybe illinois just lives in a tent in someones backyard, mans aint got time to settle down when theres caves to explore and artifacts to find.

Omg Illinois is just living rent free in y/n's backyard. Just bc they're the only one not complaining,,,like every other ego says "dude this isn't the wilderness you can live in your own house if you wanna"

Y/N knows him best and understands this is just the way he lives so they're not bothered at all

#clanask #old friends au

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indigohitoshi · 4 years

Text

rating bnha people and how’d they protect / what’d they do with your drink:

the girls

– mina ; she cuts people ❤️ no i don’t take constructive criticism. she pulls a knife on anyone that gets too close. 10/10

– momo ; LOVE HER. she does the classic hand over cup but if anyone gets close enough she’ll create a bat and pull a sangwoo very fast <3 that’s my baby. 10/10

– jirou ; holds it close and simply screams at the top of her lungs if anyone says something along the lines of “can i see your drink?”. she just. starts hollering. until they get too scared or draws enough attention. 8/10, it scared me in the process trying to get my drink back.

– uraraka ; she makes your drink float, no one can reach it anyway. it ends up spilling but it’s the thought that counts. 6/10

– tsuyu ; she just... holds the cup in her mouth. she like. let’s it rest in there. but if someone came up and asked for the drink her tongue comes out and puts them in a chokehold, yeah ❤️ 7/10, the drink is slimey but that’s okay she did her best.

– kendou ; protects that mf with her LIFE. she doesn’t even let monoma watch it bc she doesn’t trust anyone. if someone comes within two feet of the drink she backhands the fuck out of them. 7/10, mistook you for a stranger and almost backhanded you, too.

the boys

– kaminari ; YOU GIVE IT TO HIM AND HE REALLY DOES DO HIS BEST BUT HE ENDS UP LOOSING IT. and if he doesn’t lose it he spills it trying to,, “jokingly” flirt with all his homies bc he’s a lot little tipsy. it’s the thought that counts, though. 4/10.

– sero ; he tapes it to the ceiling 😀 leaves it there. forgets about it. to be fair, he’s high out of his mind. you kinda want your drink back tho but his tape is so adhesive you can’t even cut it down 💔 3/10

– kirishima ; HE IS SO GOOD WITH DRINKS. EVERYONE trusts him. he def barks at people who gets too close or bites them until they bleed with his sharp teefies. the only thing is with all the drinks everyone trusts him with is he doesn’t know which one is yours, but he still protects it with his life. 9/10

– bakugou ; looks at you when you hand him the drink, tells you to fuck up, but goes batshit if anyone gets too close to him. at the same time he doesn’t do this shit for free, he probably spits in your drink and laughs when you smile and take a sip. i hate this mf. but 8/10.

– tokoyami ; don’t even TALK TO ME if you think he’s bad with drinks. he RESPECTS YOU WITH HIS LIFE AND WILL NOT LET THAT MF DRINK GO. he just fucking bodyslams anyone that gets too close, no words. if youre suspicious and too close he doesn’t care about your feelings and fucking destroys you on the spot. 10/10

– iida ; tells you you shouldn’t even be drinking and pours out the drink. he’s there to make sure everyone’s being responsible and you were not. 1/10 for caring tho.

– midoriya ; he does his best, too. but he lost it and had a meltdown because he thought you’d be mad at him. you reassure him it’s fine but he’s still like sobbing over it 💔 like it’s OKAY baby dw. 7/10

– monoma ; starts boasting about how much you trust him to hold your drink but hisses at anyone that tries to take it. feral mode. he swung at someone and this turned into kendo pulling him off and just watching your drink so monoma could go get some ice. 7.5/10

– shinsou ; he doesnt even wanna BE here. so when you handed him the drink unless you’re someone he EXTREMELY cares about he ditches that shit. but if you’re the lucky few he stands in a corner and just ... stares at it. his eyes don’t move. people try to talk to them and he flips them off or goes “no ❤️” and they walk away. 9/10

pro heroes

– aizawa ; he sorta like... glares at anyone that’s close enough. some bullshit excuse like “what drink is that? can i have a sip?” causes him to throw the first punch and isn’t phased by it 😀 mf said pow pow. 9.8/10, drink is 100% in tact but he complains ab how much he wants to go home.

– present mic ; he LOVES parties, but it truly pains me to say this because i love him, if you give him the drink he leaves it around and will panic. he ends up getting you a brand new drink until you sip it and say “...this isn’t my drink...” he starts crying and is overreacting more than you do. 4/10.

-- hawks ; bakugou in a different font. spits in your drink but still protects it. kinda backhanded, if he truly does fuck with you he flies around with your drink in his hand outside the bathroom door until you come back. he still spits in it tho. 9/10

-- endeavor ; disgusting. 0/10.

-- midnight ; SO good with your drink. she absolutely just straight up ends anyone’s shit that tries to even TALK to her while she’s holding your drink. im in love with her. midnight if you’re seeing this you’re late for our date im at the restaurant rn. 10/10

league of villains

-- dabi ; idc WHAT yall say. if you ask him to hold your drink he acts irritated asf but anyone that LOOKS at the cup wrong gets burnt to ash i will debate someone on this and you Will lose. he won’t spit in it tho, he’s put hot sauce in it to piss you off and laugh when you get mad. overall 8/10.

-- shigaraki ; he really wanted to help okay but someone got too close and out of defense he pulled the cup back and disintegrated it. he didn’t cry you both just looked at the pile of ash in disappointment. 6/10.

-- toga ; got so happy when you asked her to hold your drink :( my baby :( she got so excited she accidentally stabbed someone that really wanted a napkin but she wasn’t sure because she wanted to protect your drink so bad. poor baby. at least your drink good tho <3 10/10.

-- twice ; he forms a circle of him around it. just clones of him circling the drink. very affective. 10/10. biggest smile when you give him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you.

that is all thank u <3

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

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kn1feinthec0ffee · 4 years

Text

love me love me (say that you love me) - spencer reid

spencer reid x fem!reader

title from lovefool by the cardigans

summary: after a close brush with death in the field, y/n visits an injured spencer in the hospital to have a heart to heart.

warnings: a lil bit of angst, fluff bc im incapable of writing pure angst, descriptions of injury

word count: 1,987

notes: this is my submission for @veraiconcos‘ fic writer challenge, i spent a super long time on this and i really hope you guys enjoy it as its one of my favorite things i’ve ever written ☺️

********************

settling in to what would be another evening of unfortunate, unwanted solitude due to your boyfriend having yet another late night at work, you stretched out across the sofa, wine glass in hand, ready to relax after a hard day’s work.

that was until your phone began to ring and vibrate obnoxiously across the wooden coffee table.

“jj? hi, what’s up?” you inquired, curious as to why she was calling you during a case.

“we got the guy, but spence wasn’t so lucky.” she began hesitantly. “he almost got shot, but he was stabbed a few times.”

she heard your stifled gasp through the speaker, cutting you off before you would inevitably begin rambling off questions, a habit of spencer’s you’d acquired after a long while of knowing him. “don’t worry, he keeps telling everyone he’s fine. doctor says the wounds might scar, but overall he should be alright.”

you scrunched your eyes closed, willing your racing heart to slow with the news that spencer would be okay. despite jj’s calming tone and the relatively good news from the call, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that your boyfriend was not, in fact, okay.

“thanks, babe. would you mind telling me where you guys are? am i allowed to come visit?” your voice took on a hopeful tone that your hands betrayed, anxiously twirling a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of your bun.

“visiting hours ended a little while ago, but i’m sure i can pull a few strings for you.” your chest deflated with a relieved sigh at the thought of having visual confirmation spencer would be fine. “i just texted you the address, see you soon, y/n.”

“you too. bye,” the phone dropped onto the table with a hollow clatter. you downed what little was left in your wine glass before standing up from the sofa to get ready. you still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up with spencer so you put in an extra bit of effort to wear some of his favorite pieces of clothing of yours, just to bring a smile to his face.

———————————————

after receiving special clearance from jj at the front desk, you headed down the hallway. you never liked hospitals; you found something about about the stark white, sterile halls cold and off putting.

the door slowly opened, a gentle creak emanating from its well-used hinges. you had hoped your entrance would be quiet enough to let the boy wonder rest, but alas, he had woken up.

though the way his irises glistened in the artificial light when he saw you was just as gratifying.

“y/n, what are you doing here?” the interrogative sounded less like a question and more like an exclamation of awe, but you weren’t complaining.

“what, you didn’t think i’d show up when a little birdie told me my boyfriend was stabbed on duty? some girlfriend i’d be,” you scoffed sarcastically.

the plastic legs of the chair skidded across the linoleum as you dragged it next to the bed. spencer held out a hand towards you to hold, a sure fire sign something was wrong.

he loved affection, especially from you, but he only seemed to initiate it on blue moons.

you gratefully slipped your fingers in between his and gave them a quick, reassuring squeeze. “what happened, hon?”

his amber hues flicked to several spots around the relatively uninteresting room before landing on your intertwined digits. “we raided his apartment just like we usually do and i happened to be the first one to come across him. i saw he had a gun and i’m lucky i ducked pretty quickly or else i might not even be here at all.

“morgan and i moved in on him to make the arrest, but it slipped our minds that the profile said he was hyper-vigilant and paranoid, and i failed to notice knife he had in his other hand and he stabbed me a few times before emily pulled him away from me.” spencer recalled with an expertise that came as a surprise to absolutely no one who knew him.

“you say that like you’re reciting a poem,” you frowned, rubbing a thumb across his knuckles. “you could’ve died, spence.”

“i guess it’s just not that big of a deal to me?” he seemed to question his own statement as it passed through his lips. “i think i’ve grown so accustomed to putting my life on the line that i just doesn’t even faze me anymore.”

“i get it, but don’t you ever - i don’t know - get worried you won’t come back to me one of these days?” you averted your eyes to the floor.

his grip on your hand tightened exponentially, causing your gaze to snap up to his. “of course i do, i worry about you all the time. isn’t it normal to worry about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

his admission of love brought heat to your cheeks and tears to your eyes. “good, good, i’m glad we both agree on that then.” you smiled sadly.

the presence of an oddly heavy silence weighed down on both of you as you sat in thought. “do you ever get tired, y/n?” the genius queried quietly, elaborating when he noticed the confusion etched across your features. “i mean - well - tired of me? of my life being on the line every time i go to work? of thinking that maybe that time you said goodbye to me when i left would be the last time? doesn’t that exhaust you?”

this was exactly what you had been anticipating since jj called. the drawn-out periods of unusual silence, less eye contact than normal, the anxious fidgeting. not that you’d tell him, but you’d subtly began subconsciously profiling as well.

“if you’re asking if i get tired of those things, then yes, i do,” you murmured softly. “but if you’re asking if being with you while i have to deal with all those things is exhausting, then my answer is no. absolutely not.”

another pause. spencer played with your fingers, fiddling around with the ring he’d bought for you as fond memories swirled through his mind. “wouldn’t it be easier if you were with someone else? i don’t know, maybe someone with an average career where they don’t look at dead bodies and arrest serial killers all the time? maybe a barista or something less traumatizing than what i do?”

your lips curled up into a smile as you giggled. “yeah, i mean, of course that’d be easier, but when has life ever been easy? and besides, why would i want a barista when i could have a badass, genius iq level guy like you?”

he grinned, holding eye contact for the longest period of time since you passed through the door. “i think those attributes directly contradict each other, but whatever makes you happy, love.”

the tension had lifted, conversation flowing with ease, yet you could still tell there was something off about reid. something left unspoken.

“hey,” you murmured, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. “you sure you’re alright?”

a moment of hesitation flickered through his eyes before he answered. “of course i am. didn’t i say i was?”

“you did, but you don’t have the best track record when it comes to being honest about your emotions.” you watched several emotions pass through his eyes - one of his tells; those hazel hues could be read like a book.

he seemed to take a deep, collective inhale before he spoke in a small voice. “i know you said you weren’t tired of me, but i’m just scared you’re lying. n-not that i think you would ever be untruthful,” he immediately corrected himself upon understanding how his words could be perceived.

“i-” tears brimmed his coffee colored optics, terrifying you for what he might say next. “you’re the most important thing in my life- in the world even- and i’m just worried you’ll leave me. i’ll come home one night when you’ve decided you’ve had enough of this life and you have all your bags packed, ready to leave. i don’t want to lose you. i can’t lose you.”

noticing a few drops had landing on your lap, you realized you’d been crying as he admitted his insecurities to you. “i love you so much, spencer. more than anything in the world. and i know how hard it is to quiet those voices, and i know whatever i say will only be enough to quell them for a while, but you’re everything to me. just know i would never, ever even dream of leaving you.”

you sniffled, wiping the tear tracks from your face when you looked over to spencer. he held eye contact with you, something you knew was challenging for him to do.

“y/n,” he moved a hand to cup your cheek. “if i asked you to stay, would you?”

you let his words sink in and nodded nearly imperceptibly. you laid a kiss on his palm before turning to him again. “absolutely. i am wholly and completely devoted to you, spencer reid.”

his cheeks burned and his brows furrowed, almost as if he was having trouble accepting your straightforward answer. “do you promise?”

you debated a sarcastic response, but you were unsure what his reaction might be in such a vulnerable state, and you didn’t want to find out.

“i do, my love.” you murmured, crossing your pinky with his. he settled, visibly, too, at your admission of adoration. you knew he struggled with fully trusting those around him and you were immeasurably proud of him in this moment.

“are you heading home?” his soft lilt broke the silence that had blanketed the room with its persistent presence. “i wouldn’t blame you if you were.”

“are you kidding? after all that rom-com sappiness you think i want to leave?” you both laughed, basking in the positivity of the moment. “i’m afraid you’re stuck with me. look, i even brought a change of clothes and everything.”

while you loved the adorable look of surprise on his face, you almost wished you could wipe away any doubts he may harbor in his mind about you and your unwavering loyalty. you looked up at him again as he spoke. “are you going to sleep in that chair?”

“i’d lay with you, but you’ve got wounds everywhere and no way in hell am i risking re-opening anything that’s been sealed.” you held your hands up in mock defense, earning a chuckle from the doctor.

“you could, um, put your head on my chest,” his cheeks tinted pink. “i love it when you do that.” you planted a quick kiss on his cheekbone before pressing a longer one to his lips.

every time your lips met, as cliched as it was, it felt like the first again. not in every way, they were missing the same awkward teeth clashing and spit swapping as the original, but you could almost feel every ounce of passion jolting all the way through your being. and most assuredly, spencer reciprocated your feelings as he chased your lips every single time they made to retreat from his.

you pulled the chair as close to the hospital bed as you could and rested your head on his chest. the lyrical, constant beat of spencer’s lulled you to sleep, creating a symphony just for you.

before your eyes closed, you intertwined spencer’s fingers with yours, prompting him to look down at you. “i’ve got promises to keep, and miles to go before i sleep.”

though he knew it was medically impossible, spencer reid’s heart leapt a mile in his chest at the irrevocable love he felt for you, both in that moment and always as he completed the line, “and miles to go before i sleep.”

********************

guys wait i think this is the first ending i’ve written that i actually enjoy and i just finished this at 1am last night and i am so sleep deprived

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