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#I love everything about this and then you also said nice things about my comic so AAAAA 😭😭😭 thank you
theniftycat · 9 months
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What other Neil Gaiman work might you like?
The biggest thing to know about Neil Gaiman is that each work of his is a mixture of horror, fantasy, and subtle comedy.
That being said, each of his projects is pretty distinct from one another and there might be some that are more up to your tastes than others.
I haven't read some of his newer stuff (because I largely stopped reading as much since the early 2010s), but I'll do my best to remember what matters in other works.
Horror
The Sandman is a great work for horror fans. It's also great for mythology fans and other nerds, but horror is a major push and pull factors.
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The comic is probably the greatest body of work Gaiman produced and it's recommended if you're a goth at heart and are comfortable with themes of death and humans being gods' toys.
The Sandman (TV) is a great adaptation, but it's very short so far and doesn't cover the best stories.
Coraline is a horror story for children. It doesn't have anything that's not suitable for kids, but it can be viscerally scary to some people. Both the book and the film are great.
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Mirrormask is my personal favourite, it's a low budget film with mindblowing surreal imagery and one of the best soundtracks ever.
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It's about a teenage girl who has troubles with her parents (who run a circus, btw) and who gets swiped up by her imagination into a bizarre world that is being eaten by her depression. Not a scary film, per se, but it's disturbing. However, it's a very warm film and it always makes me feel better.
Fantasy
Neverwhere is set in a dimension of twisted London Underground where everything that's straightforward in our world becomes weird and too real.
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It really tickled my imagination, I highly recommend the book.
Stardust is set in a more high fantasy setting.
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It features kings, witches, ghosts, and a star that fell to the Earth. It has a young protagonist who's not exactly the best or the brightest person, so if you hate such things, stick to the adaptation. In my opinion, the book is just lovely.
American Gods is a darker fantasy that asks the questions: "What if every god people ever believed in became real through the power of their worship? And then what if that worship started fading?"
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It's set in the USA and because that country is such a melting pot, there are many gods. And not all of them are happy. This is the book that gave Neil Gaiman his reputation of a writer who loves weird sex scenes.
Humour
Stardust the film is often compared to Princess Bride. It's lighthearted, funny, full of imaginative adventures.
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Just a very nice film with an all-star cast.
Anansi Boys is a spin off of American Gods, but it's a lot more lighthearted.
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Anansi is a trickster god, so you know things will get funky.
I haven't read The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane yet, but I hear they're very good as well.
Also, short story collections or Norse Mythology might be a good place to start if you want to get a feel of Neil Gaiman as an author first.
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alllgator-blood · 1 month
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I s2g if you add the layers of these comic pages together, it's over 350 layers. THIS is why I don't do full color for my comics lmaooo- ANYWAY EVERYONE HERE HAS AN AU APPARENTLY, SO THIS IS A BRIEF GLIMPSE INTO MINE. I don't know what to call it yet but I'm thinking of calling it "famous prophets" because 1. I like that car seat headrest song, 2. it's about shamura who is prophetic, 3. it's about trying to outrun fate with the Power of Love (and failing. Like the song!!!). It takes place when all the bishops were teens/kids during the age of hundreds of gods at war, and were trying to survive as a family.
I'm really excited to work on stuff for it but it's all gonna be drawn out of order. Maybe I'll write a full explanation of what it's gonna be about when I have a better idea...I want to channel my eldest sibling angst in a productive way, and maybe establish a QPP between shamura and a completely random npc everyone forgets about <3 also kallamar is trans too cause I said so. I'll do a comic about it eventually. Instead of an absence of gender he has TOO much gender. It simply cannot be contained.
I like that nonbinary genders are normalized in cult of the lamb to the point where nobody singles anyone out for being a they/them, it's not like "THIS IS MY SIBLING SHAMURA. THEY ARE NONBINARY AND USE THEY/THEM. ALRIGHT BACK TO KILLING YOU", it's just like "don't you fucking dare make my poor sibling wake up from their nap to kick your ass. Cause they deserve better than this."
But at the same time I like having the freedom to be more specific, and say "shamura is voidpunk and their gender is best described as the feeling that overtakes you during the first snow of the year, when everything outside is deathly quiet". This comic is actually derived from the time I was walking through a forest that's been torn down for a few years, and came out to my little sister as trans. I must've been like 13 or 14 and she didn't really get it as a 10 year old, but it was better than my mom FREAKING OUT about me coming out. So it was a nice little bonding moment between just the two of us. I don't have a good memory so I don't recall how it went unfortunately...
Now, the climate is a little different. My sis tried out transmasculinity for maybe 5-6 years before feeling happier as a woman, my mom is trying to be Based and flaunt her Woke trans children, and my dad remembered "oh yeah trans natives have existed before colonization. Maybe me being transphobic is a product of my culture being erased" and has gotten better about calling me the right thing. I have a mustache (thanks pcos!!) and wear skirts and am not a repressed "tomboy" teenager anymore. But I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I could've been like shamura and just...been nonbinary without people being fucking weird about it. Or been born as a badass war god who will tear you to shreds before you can perceive my birth sex. I know they're fictional but they are my ultimate gender envy GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK
Here is the secret image for this post- I listen to mostly EDM when I draw cause it keeps the energy up, but as I was finishing up shamura's poetry part, I was like THESE ARE JUST KMFDM LYRICS so I made this
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swe3tte4rs · 5 months
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Batifamily headcanons feeling jealous about their siblings spending more time with Batmom? Or something like that, however you like to write it 🙊
" Jealousy jealousy " - Batmom!Reader x Batkids
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Author's note: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR (late)!!! Love this 🫶. And I feel like this request is VERY my AU!!! Dah, who wouldn't compete for the love of their sweet and loving mother!? (The hatred between them began when Bruce had to set schedules for each one so they wouldn't fight for Batmom's attention... joke)
Also I am very sad, because when I was responding to this kind of request and I saved it as a draft, it was deleted 😭!!! CRYING 💔💔!!! On top of that, I loved the request, it was beautiful 😭! It was about Batmom as Bruce's couple and Bruce introduces Batmom to the batkids... And if it was you who sent it 🫵, let me tell you that I loved it and it will take me a while to upload it 💓!! Lov you all
And (I almost forgot to mention this), This AU of the batfamily is a mix of comics, series, headcanons (I LOVE headcanons of batfamily 💗), video games, movies and webtoon! + My main language is not English, so if you find any spelling mistakes, tell me in a comment!
Request opens 💗💗!!! BUT, before you request anything check my rules.
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Dick Grayson / Nightwing
Honestly, I don't see him being jealous of his brothers at all! But since I haven't read all of his comics and in this AU he is a mix, I don't have an opinion. 👀
Let us begin.
I feel like Dick is a real mama's boy, he love his mom and he will prove it.
Dick is very used to having all of Batmom's attention to himself.
But he hides his jealousy very well, or so he thinks…
Jealousy began when Dick started having siblings. DON'T DENY ME GIRL 🤝🤝!!!
When he gets jealous that you spend more time with, I don't know, he'll go to sleep with you and Bruce, but leaving Bruce aside and enjoying your caresses in his hair while he listens to his siblings complain from outside the bedroom. (Bruce hate this, but I feel that at the same time he love it just a little bit. Very little.)
Possibly he will also rub things you did with him that you didn't do with your other children in his siblings' faces.
I think he is the only one (along with Jason) who has a complete album with photos of him as a child. So he'll show it off to others by saying that you loved him so much that you made an entire photo album of him.
He would do the same with Jason, telling him that his album has more photos and with more photos of you and Dick.
I feel like he would start a whole fight against one of his brothers just to carry all the shopping bags by himself so you don't do it. (This idea is similar to "Jason Todd is a total mama's boy" because I was inspired by it, so credit to its respective author 💓)
"Mommy, did you just call me Damian? Oh my god... my heart..." #atotaldramaqueenbaby💋💋👊👊
Jason Todd / Red Hood
Another drama queen...
A mama's boy from head to toe. (My poor baby just needed a fucking mother figure 😭💔)
He is first in everything. Do you need help opening a jar? He already opened it for you and said I love you and then left and returned to a mission.
But that's not what we're talking about right now... Nonono, we're talking about jealousy, guys...
I bet he's the most sensitive of all.
He makes sure you don't show favoritism to anyone, unless it's him, if so he lets it go.
Did you spend an extra minute with one of your other children because you didn't see the time? He is already burning in a pit of jealousy.
I feel like he would start fighting with his sibling and then he would apply the law of silence to you. But it doesn't last long because he can't resist your cute nicknames and your "you're my favorite" (you say that to each of your babies)
"Why do you call him "son"? He isn't even your son!" And he gives you a whole long speech when you were just trying to be nice to Roy.
He even gets jealous of Bruce.
He doesn't care if it's one of his sisters or a good friend of his, you can't call them cute nicknames! And even less if they are the ones you use with him!
He has good hearing, he makes sure that you call him by his nicknames and not by one of his siblings' nicknames.
"WHAT THE FUCK, MA?! Why are you washing Tim's hair with the shampoo you use with me!?!?" You broke him...
Tim Drake / Red Robin
( I haven't read almost anything by Tim, so forgive me if something doesn't add up, but I promise you that I already have more or less what his personality is like.)
Tim does not admit his jealousy, he is calmer compared to his brothers.
He might start scheduling his patrols to coincide with Batmom’s free time, ensuring that he gets to spend some time with her.
I feel like he would feel more insecurity than jealousy
But I also think he would try to take Batmom's attention away from his sibling by calling Batmom to help him do something he can easily do alone.
He wouldn't care if you treated his friends like your children. I think he would be happy.
Umh Well… I think there's not much to jealousy about this one...
Damian Wayne / Robin
Yes, I headcanon that Damian is one of the most jealous once he realizes that Batmom can give him the love that Talia didn't give him.
He is the same as Jason, he has the same percentage of jealousy.
The only thing is that he would start making arguments about why Batmom would have to spend the whole week with him and not with her brothers.
Oh, and he doesn't care what Bruce does with Batmom. Although he is disgusted by the slightest affection they have.
At galas, I feel like he would be glued to you, hugging your waist and making sure there is no threat.
If you're not patrolling, he'd be with you watching some movie. (I DON'T KNOW WHY I IMAGINED HIM WATCHING MEAN GIRLS)
"I say mom Is going to go with me first because I'm the best-" And then he was interrupted by his siblings.
There is a relationship of hate and equality between him and Jason…
"Don't you see that my mother has an engagement ring and I'm next to her, son of a- *you interrupt him*" I feel like he would say this to anyone who flirts with you.
He is not understanding why his siblings get to spend more time with her.
Mama's boy
I would continue writing, but I have no more inspiration and ideas, sorry...
Cassandra Cain / Orphan
WHY DID SHE PUT THAT NAME BRO???
Cassandra, being the quiet and observant one, might internalize her feelings of jealousy.
Cass is the last one to get jealous, honestly.
She understands that Batmom loves them all equally and there is no favoritism.
Although sometimes she doubts…
She would feel excluded every time she sees you spend more time with one of her siblings.
But putting that behind, she would know that you love them all equally and would let it go by speaking with you how she feels.
0,1% jealous.
Stephanie Brown / Spoiler
Depends…
I think she would feel jealous if Batmom shows favoritism towards others.
In itself, I don't think Steph is VERY jealous. Just... a little bit.
Duke Thomas / The Signal
I need to read more about this man 😭
He's the newest one in the batfam, but he was still able to connect with Batmom very well.
Duke is not one to be jealous, he just doesn't care what batmom does.
Although he is a similar case to Cass.
He would feel a little "insecure" seeing the ties Batmom has with his siblings.
But it always ends well with Batmom watching a movie with him.
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[You can put more headcanons in a comment if you like!! And suggestions are always welcome <3]
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heraxic · 1 month
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Hello :o
I just wanted to say thank you (and also thank crumb) for getting me back into thinking about Karl Heisenberg 24/7.
I really love your artstyle, from the amazing expressions (especially the peeved/angry ones) to the scribbly lineart. As someone that’s trying to learn to draw more digitally, I really like to observe your stuff o.o
Your Moldy Family comics are funny, cozy, sweet and comforting all at the same time, and they made me discover and appreciate Eveline (oh man I love how much of a goth tween she is), and the way you draw Heisenberg (his physicality if that makes sense, his clothes, his hair, his everything) is just *chef’s kiss*.
As a former Greek Mythology child, that AU is so so nice owagh. I love all the monster adaptations/designs, it’s all so clever: I love that Kyril is scaley, hairy AND has wings (which I feel aren’t depicted often nowadays with gorgons), Alina is so majestic, with the black tipped limbs and the blood soaked dress, and the daughters being harpies/sirens(?) is also so perfect.
Idk if you’ve already said it, but what is it about Karl’s character that made him interesting to you?
I hope it makes sense (I’m a bit tired) and thank you again for the excellent food :]
Thank you so much!!!<<<3333
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he lives in my head rent free…. his crusty-ass hair and barrel-shaped bod gets me every time
im glad you like my scribbly lineart! I tend to get concerned whether it really looks like anything haha
I miss drawing the mold family but i think my forte has always been fantasy, especially cause i love mythology more than anything. That’s not to say i wont go back to the modern mold family though
For greek au karl i wanted him to look like someone had haphazardly stuck animal parts to him so it’d look deliberately unnatural for him to have a relatively normal human body under all that-
I’m not sure i can fully describe why Karl is so interesting. Surface level, being voiced by Neil Newbon is always a big plus and his face model Joel Hicks is awesome-looking. His character design matches his abilities and personality really well, and speaking of personality, queer-coded villains who make a big show out of everything are always going to be my favourite. His gritty, masculine aesthetic is really inspiring in terms of gender as well. On a deeper level, in spite of all the terrible things he’s done, i find him sympathetic and relatable. After decades spent in a highly dysfunctional family, not living on his own terms, completely alone, I need him to finally be okay and get better for his own sake, with the support of people he trusts. It’s the same reason i love Eveline. Morally dark-grey characters who deserved better and could’ve gotten better with a good support system.
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divine-donna · 1 year
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a fair trade
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pairing: miguel o’hara x gender neutral! reader
word count: 1,010 words
ao3 link: 🕷️🕷️🕷️
summary: your help is needed to defeat a multiversal entity, one that you’ve defeated before. but what can miguel offer in return for your service?
notes: kind of mishmashing the movies and comics together. do not fret if you haven’t read any of them! it’s mostly just referenced (much like how it was referenced in the last post). the fic on ao3 is also locked to registered ao3 users only. it’s a precaution i’m taking in response to ai using ao3 fics to be trained.
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“(Y/N), we need your help.”
“Miguel, I’m in the middle of eating lunch. Because, you know, I didn’t have breakfast.”
“That’s on you.”
“Some of us don’t like breakfast.”
“Okay that’s not the point! The point is that we need your help!”
You were just sitting at your table, peacefully. After a mission earlier today, you thought you enjoyed a nice break. All you’ve been doing is going on missions across the multiverse, at the expense of your personal life back home. Your friends missed you and were constantly wondering why you would dip all of a sudden. After all, it wasn’t like you to just...cancel last minute. You loved your friends. You always made sure to be there. What you didn’t expect when accepting Miguel’s invitation was to be worked constantly. There was always a multiversal threat at stake, even for something small.
You were literally the local expert on the multiverse. Small things wouldn’t cause catastrophe. But Miguel believed they would. He believed in a domino effect. You believed that it was necessary to stay vigilant but not every small thing required attention. Sometimes the multiverse acted weird. It was a multiverse. It acted on its own accords.
“Miguel, is it actually something to worry about? Or is it something like the Vulture ended up in the wrong reality which can be cleaned up without my help?” You took a sip of your drink.
“It’s someone by the name of Verna. And she’s brought with her an army.”
“Verna? Never heard of her.” You shake your head.
“Really? She claims she’s fought you before.”
“If I saw a picture, then maybe I would recognize her.”
Miguel doesn’t hesitate. “Lyla.”
Part of you wondered what it would be like if your name was always on the tip of his tongue, ready to speak on a moment’s notice. You always wanted someone who could say your name with such ease, who thought of you constantly.
“Already on it.” Lyla pulls up a video. “This is live footage of the whole thing. We’re lucky she hasn’t spread her destruction further.”
As you were taking a sip of your drink, you choked on the liquid. Thankfully, you did not die. “We need you alive (Y/N).” Miguel says.
“I thought I banished her to the ends of the Multiverse!” You exclaimed.
“So you have fought her?” Lyla questions. “Was this the multiversal being you battled before?”
“She’s the reason I have no magic!” You crush the metal cup in your hand. “It took everything for me to banish her! And she just comes...comes back like nothing happened?” You squint a little. “She also looks a lot different than I remember. You said her name was Verna?” Lyla and Miguel look at each other before nodding. “She went by a different name. Called herself the Matriarch of...something. I don’t remember.”
“All the more reason for you to finish up and join us.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“I lost my appetite.” You picked up the dishes and cleaned out the plates, dropping them off with the conveyor belt of dirty dishes. “You owe me Miguel.”
“Owe you what?”
“A break. Like a real break. My body needs to properly recuperate, you know.”
He inputs the numbers and opens the portal. “I can do that. You’ve done good work so far.”
“Exactly. Not getting paid here.”
“None of us get paid.”
“It was a joke. You know, Peter was right. You’re like the only one of us that isn’t funny.”
“That’s hilarious.” His voice did not change in tone and his facial expressions did not give away that he was humored.
“Lighten up a little. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re extra stoic because you want to kiss me.”
“I do not want to kiss you.”
“Everyone wants to kiss me.”
He looks at you, eyebrow slightly raised. “You should pay me in kisses actually. Think that’d be a fair deal. I help you guys stop Verna, again, and I get a kiss. It’d be the perfect reward.”
You feel his gaze on you. “It’s a joke, I promise. You don’t have to actually.” Even if you did want to kiss him.
He takes a step towards you, much to your surprise. His hand reaches up, fingers curled slightly, and his knuckles graze the skin of your cheeks. It’s reassuring in a way and his touch is gentle. It reminds you of when you first joined, how his fingers gently wiped away the crumbs at your face. His hand uncurls and cups your face. “How badly do you want a kiss?” He asks.
His voice made your legs shake. “If I answered that I think you’d make fun of me.”
“I mean...it’s a simple yes or no question.”
“Yes?”
You weren’t expecting his lips to crash against yours. The sheer force almost causes you to fall over and your hands fumble to grip onto his body. You could feel his muscles flex beneath his suit. You kiss him back, but most certainly not with the same amount of force he does. Miguel even goes as far to nip your bottom lip, causing a small gasp to emerge from your throat. It was a little embarrassing and your cheeks grew warm. He pulls away, satisfied and with that cocky smirk on his face.
“Make it back alive and I’ll give you another.” He puts his mask on. “Maybe even more.”
“You...have a lot of confidence that I will.” You were out of breath. Very much out of breath.
“You’ve beaten the odds before. It’s part of who we are.”
Miguel walks through the portal and you clench your hands for a few seconds. You were nervous. It wasn’t just the kiss that made you nervous (though your heart certainly was pumping for that reason primarily). Lyla looked at you with a smile. “You better come back. Or else I’ll lose the primary thing I make fun of him for.”
“I’ll try Lyla. For you.”
“Sure, sure. Now get going before people die.”
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literaryavenger · 2 months
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So I read somewhere that if the word ‘Sputnik’ is said to Bucky it knocks him out. Like it was a way for HYDRA to temporarily incapacitate him until they could control him better if he got out of hand. I’d love to see if you could write about how the reader and the team would deal with this situation. Maybe incorporate the satellite, as we know how much Bucky loves space. 💙✨ Maybe an established relationship? Again don’t need to do this, but I thought you’d appreciate a little help to get out of this writers block :)
Sputnik
Summary: Bucky's fascinacion with Space gives the team an interesting, emotional week.
Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Romanoff!Reader, Platonic!Bucky Barnes x Various!Avengers
Warnings: Language. Established relationship. Mentions of Bucky's past and trauma. So much angst, but tons of fluff too. My poor attempts at being funny.
Word Count: 6.4K. This one got away from me, lol.
A/N: Okay, so I heard about this too and did some research and found out it is a thing that the Red Skull uses against Bucky in one of the many universes of the comics, but it can only be used once. What I couldn’t find is how to wake him up, so that part is made up by me lol. Anyway, I hope this satisfies you, Anon, and to everyone that’s sent me requests already, I promise I plan on working on all of them, even if it takes me a little time. But keep ‘em coming! Also, I put a lot of MCU references and lines, so have fun finding them all, lol.
Masterlist
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Life isn’t always fair.
That’s something most people can agree on. But it’s especially never been fair for one Bucky Barnes.
Bucky has been an Avenger for years now, and sometimes he still feels like he’s made little to no progress. Other times even he can’t deny how far he’s come.
Like right now, he’s sitting on the couch with you, his girlfriend, sitting next to him with your legs over his as he strokes your thigh absentmindedly while he’s engrossed in a conversation with Peter about astrology.
That’s something that Bucky has always found interesting, and the young genius has been filling Bucky in on everything he’s missed on the subject since the 40s.
Most of the Avengers are away on missions and the rest of the team that’s at the Compound (Tony, Steve, Peter, Wanda, Sam, Natasha, Bucky and you) are all hanging out in the common room, the fading colors of the sundown coming through the window making for a nice setting.
Tony, Steve and Sam are talking about Formula One, Peter and Bucky are in their own little nerd world and you are talking with Natasha and Wanda about the latest tv show you’ve all been binging together.
Your attention is brought on Bucky when he taps on your leg gently to signal you to get them off of him so he can get up, never breaking his conversation with Peter.
“What’s a satellite?” Bucky asks with furrowed eyebrows as he gets up from the couch.
“It’s an artificial body placed in orbit around the earth, or moon or another planet, in order to collect information or for communication.” Peter explains like the cute little geek he is while Bucky goes to the kitchen to get another beer, still concentrating on their conversation.
“You know,” Tony interjects, the whole team’s attention now on their exchange. “The first artificial Earth satellite launched in 1957, it was called Sputnik and it was-”
“Bucky?” You interrupt Tony in the middle of his fun fact when you see your boyfriend freezing as he’s about to sit on the couch where he was a minute ago.
He doesn’t say anything but you can see his eyes rolling back into his head and then he falls to the ground unconscious.
“Bucky!” You yell as you kneel beside him, everyone else rushing to his side, just as worried as you.
You grab him by his shoulders and shake him a little, but the man doesn’t move a muscle. You look around at the team, but everyone is equally as clueless about what’s happening as you are.
“Should we try slapping him?” Sam offers, earning a glare from both you and Steve and a slap on the back of his head by Natasha.
You look back at Bucky, but you can’t think of anything to do to help him, your mind completely blank. You feel a hand on your shoulder but you pay it no mind, your eyes focused on Bucky.
“We could try the book…” Steve’s voice is quiet but to your ears those words feel like a scream and your eyes snap up to his just to find him already looking at you.
You know what book he’s talking about, of course you know. The Winter Soldier’s red book, the one Bucky gave you to keep safe because he trusts you with his life.
You’re the only one that has access to it, but you’ve never even opened it because Bucky trusted you not to unless it was necessary. He chose not to destroy it for this exact reason, in case something inexplicable happened to him. 
He himself has never opened the book, so it stands to reason that there are a lot of things he doesn’t know about the Winter Soldier’s programming.
You promised him you’d keep it safe and that’s what you’ve done so far, but you also promised yourself you’d never open it and see the horrors even Bucky doesn’t know they did to him. You certainly never thought it would be necessary, that’s why you agreed to it.
But right now, as much as you hate to admit it, it’s your best option. 
You leave Bucky in Steve’s care and go to your and Bucky’s room. You go into the closet and remove the hardwood plank in the far corner and reach into it to take out a small safe.
It’s Stark Technology, even Bucky wouldn’t be able to get into it, if he even knew it was there. But he doesn’t, he was very insistent on you being the only person that knew the book’s hiding place.
You scan your thumbprint, then your retina and lastly say the voice command ‘Jamie’ and the light turns green. The safe opens and you reach into it, moving away the files about yourself you recovered from the Red Room after you and Natasha escaped, then the Hydra file Natasha found on Bucky and some other documents you have there before spotting the red leather at the bottom of the safe. You pull it out and hesitate before sighing. 
This is necessary. 
That’s what you keep telling yourself over and over as you open it and start looking through the pages for anything about Bucky passing out.
Thankfully it doesn’t take long for you to find it, and you’re careful to put everything away the way it was before going back to Bucky.
While you were looking for an explanation, Steve and Sam moved Bucky to the medbay where Tony hooked up some machines to him to make sure he was still healthy, even if he’s unconscious.
You enter the room and hesitate before walking up to the bed. You can tell everyone’s worried, most likely because even the shuffle of bringing him here didn’t wake him up.
“Please tell me nobody slapped him.” you say quietly, half joking and half actually worried someone tried to slap him awake. When Steve shakes his head no, you let out a relieved breath and cross your arms in front of your chest. “I think I know what happened.”
“You do? What is it?” Steve asks hopefully, although the tone in your voice doesn’t prompt anything good.
“Apparently, Hydra planted a failsafe in Bucky’s subconscious.” Everyone’s attention is on you, and you look at everything but Bucky. “It was made in case the Winter Soldier rebelled and they needed a quick way to shut him down.”
“I don’t get it, why didn’t Shuri take it out with his trigger words?” Sam asks with a frown.
“She didn’t know about it.” You answer simply. “Bucky didn’t even know about it…”
“If she didn’t know it existed, she didn’t know to look for it…” Tony elaborates and Sam nods.
“Does it say what the word is?” Steve asks you.
“The word is ‘Sputnik’.” You say while looking at Tony with a tight-lipped smile. You know it’s not his fault, he obviously didn’t do it on purpose and you know he understands you don’t blame him, and neither would Bucky. “Good news is, the failsafe can only be used once.” Everyone relaxes a little, at least there’s the bright side that this won’t ever happen again.
“And the bad news is…?” Natasha prompts while raising her eyebrow, making everyone tense again. You sigh, damn her for knowing you so well.
“Since it’s never been used, there’s no saying what will happen to him, how long it’ll last or how to wake him up…” You trail off, looking down at your feet while biting your lip before finishing your sentence. “If he even wakes up.”
You hear Wanda gasp at your words and the room goes silent. You don’t have the courage of looking anybody in the eye at the moment, so you just keep looking down.
“What do you mean, if he even wakes up?” Peter is the one that asks the question, his voice quiet and a little unsteady.
“It’s Hydra we’re talking about, I doubt they cared about the consequences their actions would bring on Bucky’s psyche…” You say bitterly, wishing you had any Hydra agent at hand so you could snap their neck. “That trigger word could’ve done anything to him.”
“T-there has to be something else, maybe you missed something.” Steve mutters and it takes everything in you not to roll your eyes. You know this is coming from a good place, he’s worried for his best friend, but it’s still annoying that he’s doubting you.
“All it says in the book is that it’s supposed to knock him out long enough to provide an opportunity to move him somewhere where he can’t do any damage or even put him back into Cryo if necessary.” You recall word for word what you read in the book, making it clear that there’s nothing else to be done. “All we can do is wait it out…”
You glance at Bucky and something inside you snaps. You know you can’t look at his still, angelic face any longer or you’ll lose it, so you turn around and walk out of the room, leaving everybody perplexed at the wake of your actions.
“Wait!” Steve says from behind you, but you don’t turn around until you’re at the elevators.
“We can keep watch on him one at a time until he wakes up.” That’s all you say while entering the elevator, giving him no chance to say anything back.
He understands this is a lot for you, so he decides not to push it. Instead he sighs and turns around, walking back to the rest of the team to tell them your, admittedly simple, plan.
Day 1
Steve volunteers to be the first one to watch over Bucky, hoping that he’ll wake up within a day and then everything will go back to normal.
“Hey, Buck.”  He says quietly as he sits down on the chair next to Bucky’s bed. 
“This is weird…” He says more to himself while studying Bucky’s face. “Should I talk to you? What should I even say to you? I don’t know, man…”
Steve sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “You’ve known me my whole life. My entire, overextended life… Is there really anything you don’t know about me yet? Well, maybe…” 
Steve knows there’s something he hasn’t told Bucky. It’s something he hasn’t told anyone, really. But he needs to get it off his chest, so he takes a deep breath and decides to go for it.
“It’s hard, Buck… This whole hero thing.” He says quietly while looking at his lap. “I got into this life to help people, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, but… I never thought it’d be this hard.”
Steve plays with his fingers as he talks. He knows Bucky probably can’t hear him, he can’t even see him at the moment, but he still feels guilty about what he’s saying. 
“Remember during the war, how we used to think about going home after it was all over and find a nice gal, settle down, have a family…” Steve can’t help but smile at the memory of all the times they spent in bars between fights with the Howling Commandos, just fantasizing about what their lives would be like after the war was over. “I know what I have with Natasha is real, and I love her, and you got pretty lucky too.” He smirks at Bucky while thinking about his relationship with you. 
“But this isn’t really the life we imagined, is it?” His smile falls. He can’t help but feel like saying these things out loud make him look selfish. But who better to understand him than his best friend, who went through something very similar? So he keeps going.
“This job, man… People depend on us to keep them safe, and that’s a lot of responsibility on its own, but being Captain America…” Steve scoffs, just the title he was given all those years ago now carries a weight he can’t escape. “It’s exhausting.” 
Steve finally looks up at Bucky, half expecting him to be looking at him with an irritated expression, but Bucky’s still unconscious, his face still and peaceful, almost as if he’s merely sleeping.
“I try to be perfect all the time, but, outside this team, no one wants me to be myself… They want me to be the version of myself that they like. The version that serves them better.” Steve leans in, resting his elbows on his knees, his eyes focused on Bucky’s face. “But I’ve always known I could be myself with you. ‘That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb to run away from a fight’, right?” 
Steve laughs. That’s how Bucky described him. Even after the serum, that’s how Bucky always saw him.
“That’s me… You’ve always seen me for who I was, not who you needed me to be…” He takes Bucky’s hand in his. “Even when I had nothing, I had you… And I know what you’d tell me if you were awake,” 
Steve chuckles, knowing his stubborn best friend would insist Steve would be fine even without him. “I have the Avengers, I found myself a family, I’ll be okay…” He pauses thinking about the team, but then he gets to you and his smile falls again. “But her.” 
He knows he doesn’t have to say anything more. If Bucky were awake, he would immediately understand Steve’s talking about you. “For her it’s different.” Steve says quietly. Everybody knows how much Bucky means to you. “You’re everything to her, Bucky.”
Day 2
Bucky still hasn’t woken up, but you can’t bring yourself to watch over him and Natasha can see it on your face when Steve suggested you’d be the next one on Bucky watch, so she offers to go instead of you like the good big sister she is.
“Hi, Barnes.” She says when she sits down on the same chair Steve spent the day on yesterday. “I think we both know I’m only here for your little doll.” Natasha teases with a small smirk before she gets more serious.
“She can’t face this yet…” Natasha says quietly, thinking about your face just moments ago. “She doesn’t believe she’s as strong as we both know she is.”
Natasha knows you haven’t slept much, the darkening circles under your eyes give you away.
“But I get it,” she sighs “you mean so much to her.” She’s never seen you as happy as you are since you started dating Bucky, and she knows you’d do anything to protect that. Hell, Natasha herself would do anything to protect something as pure as your relationship with Bucky.
“Our whole lives, all she wanted was what she has with you now.” Natasha smiles sadly at Bucky. “And now that she’s found it, it’s hard for her to face reality and admit to herself that she might lose it…” 
Natasha sighs and shakes her head, thinking about everything organizations like Hydra and the Red Room took from all of them, and how they’re still managing to hurt them even after all these years.
“You know,” She says after a moment of silence “I’ve never been homesick. Because there was no place I belonged to.”
She knows Bucky felt the same way for the longest time, and she wants to give him the same hope she had. “And then I got this, this job… This family. And you’re part of that family too, Bucky.”
She leans in and scans Bucky’s face, looking for any signs that he might be conscious, but she finds nothing. 
“None of us are ready to lose that. To lose you.” She tries to drive home the point by taking his hand. “You have a family again, a family that cares for you.” 
“And you can’t do this to her… You know you can’t.” She adds after another moment of silence. “All our lives, she’s been looking for a home… You are her home, Bucky.”
Day 3
“Hey, man.” Sam sits down on the chair next to Bucky’s bed. 
“I know, I know, I’m probably the last person you want here…” Sam chuckles. “But that’s too damn bad for you, because I’m gonna be here anyway.”
Sam looks at Bucky, it feels kind of weird for him to see him without the scowl that’s usually directed at him. “Oh, how I wish I could know what’s going on in that big cyborg brain of yours…” Sam says with a small grin. 
“If you were awake you’d be glaring at me. Is it weird that I kind of miss it?” He wonders out loud. “Two days without your annoying staring problem is two days too long…” 
Sam chuckles again. He knows Bucky would be threatening his life at this point if he were awake. Not that he’d ever follow through with his threats, though. Sam sighs.
“I know you don’t want me getting all sappy on you, but… I never did tell you why I tease you so much, did I?” Sam says quietly as he sits back on his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. “You’ve asked me repeatedly why, but you don’t really expect an answer when you do…”
A lot of the conversations between them end with Bucky asking Sam why he’s such a pain in his ass while Sam, and anyone else witnessing the exchange for that matter, just laugh. Even you.
“But here I am, giving you one anyway.” Sam says with a grin. At this point he’s almost hoping that if he annoys Bucky enough, he’ll wake up just to kick his ass. 
“You know how they say ‘we accept the love we think we deserve’? Well, I know how little love you truly believe you deserve.” Sam has never said these things out loud, especially not to Bucky because he knows that wouldn’t end up well for anybody. But now he feels like he has to.
“Thing is…” Sam says quietly, taking the rare moment where Bucky is not rolling his eyes or glaring at him to be honest. “You deserve so much more than you care to admit, Bucky.” 
He looks out the window for a moment before looking back at Bucky.
“And I’m gonna mess with you, and make fun of you, and tease you like friends do.” He says defiantly, almost challenging Bucky to stop him. “Because, whether you like it or not, I am your friend.”
Sam grins at Bucky, wishing he was awake just so Sam could see Bucky’s face as he annoys him. “You have people that care about you, Bucky. You have a whole team that does.” 
Sam says sincerely with an easy smile, but then he sighs. He knows, if Bucky could reply, he wouldn’t want to believe what Sam’s saying. Ever the stubborn one, that man.
“Look Bucky, I know you believe you’re hard to love…” Sam says quietly, thinking about his next words carefully with you in mind. “But she loves you like it’s breathing, man.”
Day 4 
“Good morning, Bucky.” Wanda says as she enters Bucky’s room in the medbay. “How are you feeling?”
She sits down and sighs. “Yeah, I know, I could easily just look into your mind and see for myself, like Tony has been bugging me to do since all this started, but…” She pauses and smiles softly at Bucky. “I made you a promise.”
Bucky didn’t trust Wanda when he first met her. He knew she had ties to Hydra, he knew she could control his mind and he had enough of that for a lifetime.
“I’ve never entered one of our friend’s minds on principle, but I know how important it was to you that I willingly promised you outright.” She says softly while remembering the look on his face when she seeked him out to relieve his worries. “It didn’t take a mind reader to see the weight being lifted off your shoulders when I actually said the words…” 
After that Bucky seemed less guarded around her, they even had some conversations about their experiences with Hydra, and Bucky came to understand where Wanda was coming from.
“And I get it, you’ve had no control over your own mind for the longest time, you don’t want anyone else in there.” Wanda says quietly “You trust me not to, and I’d never betray that trust.” 
She’s proud that she was able to gain Bucky’s trust, and she’d never do anything to lose that.
“You and I both know what it’s like to have nothing,” She sits back on her chair, her eyes on the window. “and we both value trust above all else, having had no one to trust for the longest time.” 
“After I got these… These powers…” She looked at the red energy coming out her fingers while they played with it. “I knew people saw me differently. I knew they feared me…”
Her Sokovian accent comes out more as she gets emotional, her eyes leaving her hand as she looks back at Bucky. “And Hydra conditioned you to expect people to fear you, too.” She says sadly. “But we can’t control other people’s fears. Only our own.”
That’s a lesson that took her a while to learn, but it’s an important one for both of them.
“We’re not monsters.” She says with conviction, like she’s trying to convince him more than just remind him, before adding. “We are all born so beautiful… The greatest tragedy is being convinced we’re not.”
Wanda smiles, that’s another lesson that was hard to learn, but luckily for them they had someone to help them believe it.
“You know who taught us that, who helped us really believe it…” Wanda chuckles softly, thinking about how you went above and beyond for both her and Bucky. Even before you started dating him, you wanted to make him see himself the way you saw, and still see him. 
“She believes wholeheartedly that you’re beautiful. I don’t need to use my powers to see the way her eyes, her face, her whole soul lights up when she looks at you…” Wanda feels like he needs to remind Bucky what he has. If he’s fighting, he needs to know what he’s fighting for. “You’re her hope, and her peace… You’re her whole world, Bucky.”
Day 5 
“Hello, Mr. Barnes, sir.” Peter says shyly as he hesitantly sits down on the chair, almost expecting Bucky to look at him and tell him not to do that because Bucky always insists Peter call him by his nickname like everybody, but Peter never does.
“I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I do that.” Peter scratches the back of his neck nervously. “You always say ‘just because I have a few decades on you, it doesn’t mean you have to call me sir’.”
Peter chuckles. “I know that, but I can’t help it… It’s not because you’re older,” Peter quickly reassures him. “It’s because I respect you. I admire you, really…” Peter blushes a little at the admission, but after all Bucky is a war hero and a role model.
“Everything you went through, even before Hydra…” He trails off, glancing at Bucky with a pained expression before continuing. “It made you stronger. You’ve always been able to help people, even without being a supersoldier.” 
Peter remembers the conversations he had with Bucky, after the man got used to the 16-year-old’s enthusiasm and energy, where Peter’s curiosity and genuine interest of what he had to say brought them hours of Bucky recalling what it was like to live in the 40s and through a war.
“You had a duty back then… To protect your country, your family and your friends… It was a responsibility, albeit a terrible one at that.” Peter says admiringly, recalling how shocked he had been when Bucky told him he got drafted and didn’t enlist like it says in his exhibit at the Smithsonian. “But you know what it’s like, to do what you have to do because it’s the right thing…” 
“I know you look at me and see a younger version of Mr. Rogers… Young and small and in need of help…” Peter says after a moment of silence, chuckling at the similarities he felt he shared with the pre-serum version of Steve before Peter got his powers. “And I get it, I spent my whole life like that… And then I got this opportunity.”
Peter looks at his hands, knowing what he can do with them alone is extraordinary. But he didn’t feel like he deserved it when it first happened.
“It was an accident. A fluke, a mistake…” He said quietly, words he’d never said out loud but he’s said to himself countless times. “But it gave me a chance to help people.” He says, now very proud of the opportunity he’s been given.
“When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t… And then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.” He says while smiling at the memory of telling Tony that when he first recruited him. “And I know fighting is the right thing to do, but it’s also a lot for me to take on…” His voice gets quieter.
“And it took me a while to get the hang of it. I still struggle with it sometimes…” He admits sheepishly. 
“But, ‘just because you took longer than others, doesn't mean you failed.’” He says before smiling at Bucky. “Remember that, kid.’” he says imitating Bucky’s deep voice with a chuckle.
“You told me that, sir. And I always remember that.” He says, proud of himself. “I’m doing my best, and that’s what matters…” His smile falters when he then sees you pass Bucky’s medbay room, like you do a few times a day even if you still can’t bring yourself to enter it.
“She’s doing her best too, Mr. Barnes.” Peter says quietly, looking worriedly at you. “To keep herself together, to not break down… To not lose hope.” 
Peter looks back at Bucky and leans in, like he’s telling him a secret. “But I can tell it’s getting harder. She can’t sleep, or eat, she can’t stop thinking about you but she can’t bear to see you like this…” 
Peter almost hoped that telling him this would be enough to make Bucky wake up, but he understands that it’s more complicated than just willpower. Peter sighs and leans back in his chair, his eyebrows furrowed with worry as he looks at Bucky. “You have to come back to her, Bucky.”
Day 6 
You almost shove Tony into Bucky’s room. Everybody else is busy, most of the team being out on missions, and you still can’t bring yourself to see him.
“Hey, Terminator, how’s the coma going?” You groan loudly enough for him to hear while yelling ‘Tony!’ from outside and he chuckles. “Kidding, kidding…” 
Tony reluctantly sits down on the chair next to Bucky’s bed. It’s not like he hates him, they have slowly developed a relationship. It’s not quite enough to call it a true friendship, but it’s enough for them to get along when they’re in a group setting, they just don’t spend any time just the two of them. 
“Fine, let’s level, Barnes.” Tony says with a sigh after several minutes of silence. “I know we’ve had a rocky relationship from the start, but you have to see where I’m coming from.” 
Tony thinks back at what happened in Siberia. He feels guilty about it now, but in the moment he was in the eye of the tornado. He couldn’t see a way out.
“Seeing you do those things on camera… It did something to me. And then that’s all I could see, your hand around my mom’s throat…” He trails off, swallowing hard as the memory comes rushing back. “But that wasn’t your fault.” He concedes after another moment of silence. 
“You know how they say that villains deserve to have their stories told from their own point of view?” He asks rhetorically, knowing Bucky can’t answer. “I never believed that. I thought it was just an excuse for bad people to justify their actions… A ‘you don’t know what drove me here, so you can’t judge my actions, as bad as they may seem to you’ type of thing.”
He glances down before looking back at Bucky with a small smile. “And then I met you. And I tried to kill you…” He chuckles awkwardly, then sighs. “But I’m glad I didn’t succeed. I’d never been able to get to know you, to understand your side of things… You’re a pretty badass dude.”
Tony smiles at Bucky. Even he has to admit that Bucky has made so much progress. He’s opened up more than anyone would’ve expected, he cares about the team, he laughs and jokes around with everybody. He’s not as guarded as he used to be, he’s truly a part of their evergrowing, eccentric family.
“I know I should’ve told you this a long time ago. It’s always been kind of implied, but…” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t blame you for what happened to my parents. Not anymore.” 
He pauses, he’s never actually said the words out loud, but right now he needs to.
“But I will blame you if you leave her like this…” He says playfully before adding more seriously. “She needs you, Bucky. More than you know, maybe even more than you need her.”
He’s never actually called him by his name, but he knows this is important and doesn’t find it in himself to come up with some funny nickname.
“Everybody wants a happy ending, and you’re hers.” He adds after another second. “And I know, part of the journey is the end, but… It’s not time for your end yet. Don’t leave her like this.” 
Day 7 
You can’t put it off any longer.
The team is out on various missions, you’re the only one in the compound along with a still unconscious Bucky. You take a deep, shaky breath and enter his room.
For a moment you stand in the doorway, tempted to run out as far and fast as you can. But you need to do this.
You walk to his bedside and bite your lip as you look at his peaceful face. Steve was right, he looks like he’s just sleeping. But you know better.
“Hi, baby…” You say quietly as you run your fingers through his hair softly. “I know, I’m sorry I haven’t… I haven’t been here.”
You feel guilty that you haven’t been taking care of him like you should. “But seeing you like this… It just hurts so bad.” You know it’s selfish. He’s the one that you should be caring for, but all you can preoccupy yourself with is your own feelings. “I want to be strong for you and I’m sorry I can’t…” 
You sit down on the chair next to his bed, gently taking his flesh hand in yours, and it’s as warm as it’s always been. For a few moments you do nothing more than just look at him, the beeping of the machines becoming background noise. You almost hope he’ll wake up out of sheer willpower, but you know it won’t happen.
“I need you to wake up, Bucky. Please…” You say quietly, almost pleading with him as tears start to come to your eyes, but you try your best to hold them back. “I need to see your smile, and your beautiful blue eyes, even if they are rolling in annoyance at some stupid pun I made.” 
You chuckle at the thought of all those times that he rolled his eyes at you when you made bad puns and dad jokes, only to laugh a second later. 
Not even because he found them funny, but because of the look you’d give him. Like you were doing everything you could not to laugh, because to you those silly jokes were the funniest thing ever, and he loved how much joy they brought you. 
And that was nothing compared to the way your eyes would light up when he’d laugh, like your greatest accomplishment in life was bringing him joy, even when both of you were entirely aware that it’s not the jokes that he enjoys. 
It’s you.
“I need to hear your voice and feel your touch… You’re everything to me, baby… Everything I need, everything I love…” You pause and bite your lip.
Love. That’s a word you two haven’t said yet. You feel it, you show it, you both know it. But you don’t say it.
Is this the best moment to say it for the first time? Probably not, but, with some hesitation, you say it anyway.
“You are love. When I think of love, when I hear it, when I say it… It’s you, just you, filling my head.” You reach out to caress his cheek. “It’s just you. I love you, Bucky. I’m sorry I’m telling you like this, and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner… But I need you to wake up  so I can tell you. I need you to hear it, I… I need you, Bucky.” Your tears start to fall without you even noticing. 
“I can’t lose you… I’m not ready… No one ever is, but I can’t…” Your voice breaks and you try to stifle a sob but fail miserably. “I can’t do this without you, Jamie... Just please wake up...” 
You wrap your arm around Bucky's, your other hand holding onto his like it's the only thing keeping him, and you, alive. Like you almost expect to hear the monitors flatlining if you were to let go. 
So you don't, you lay your head on his arm and allow yourself to break for the first time all week and your voice becomes a whisper. “Please…”
Day 8 
Somehow you managed to fall asleep, the first time you’ve slept in a week, still holding onto Bucky’s arm. 
When you wake up the next morning there’s a few moments where you forget everything that happened. You try to get up from the bed, but feel a weight on your stomach and when you look down you see Bucky’s arm holding onto you. 
Suddenly everything that happened in the past week comes rushing back and, at the same time, you realize you’re no longer in the medbay but instead you’re laying on the bed of yours and Bucky’s shared bedroom.
Confused as to how you ended up here and still a little sleepy, you look up with a frown to see Bucky already looking down at you with a goofy grin.
“Bucky!” You all but yell while throwing yourself at him, pushing him onto his back and straddling him. You hug him tightly as he chuckles at your more than enthusiastic reaction.
You feel his arms wrapping around you as he hugs you back. You want to look at him, but part of you is terrified that if you were to let go he'd disappear. You'd wake up and realize this was just a dream and Bucky is still unconscious.
“Doll,” That simple word, his deep voice was all you needed to confirm this is indeed real and he's awake “you're kind of crushing me here, sweetheart.” Bucky teases you playfully, but he doesn't mean it and you both know it. 
Even though you are clinging to him like a koala bear, it doesn't bother him in the slightest. He just wants you to look at him.
You reluctantly pull away from Bucky’s neck just enough to look into his eyes. He brings his hand up to stroke your cheek softly and you instinctively lean into his touch. 
You close your eyes for a second before they snap open again as you realize there’s something you need to tell him.
“I love you.” You take his face in your hands. “I love you so fucking much. And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I ju-”
Bucky interrupts what he’s sure it’s gonna be a long rant that ends with you unnecessarily apologizing a bunch of times by placing his hands on yours on his face and squeezing them softly, bringing you back to the present.
“I know, doll.” he says simply and you frown a little.
Sure, you’ve both always known you had deep feelings for each other, but he seems pretty sure when you have never actually said the words.
Bucky can see the wheels turning in your head and, chuckling, he decides to solve the mystery for you. “I heard you. I could hear everything while I was unconscious.” 
“You could?” you ask, blushing a little now that you know he heard you breaking down. You’re glad he now knows the depth of your feelings for him, but it’s still a little embarrassing.
“I could,” he says with a smirk. “It's gonna make for a lot of interesting conversations with the team.”
You can’t help but laugh, you’re not sure what the rest of the team talked to him about, but if they were all as emotional as you then Bucky’s gonna have a field day discussing all of that with equally embarrassed Avengers.
Suddenly, Bucky brings your face down to his and kisses you. You make no attempt to resist and actually whine a little when he pulls away, which makes him chuckle at your antics.
“I love you too, baby.” He says softly while stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re everything to me. My best friend, the love of my life, my very reason to live.”
You feel your tears starting to gather again but, even if this time they’re of joy, you still don’t let them fall.
Before you can say anything though, the door of our room slams open and you can barely understand what’s happening before Steve, Wanda, Peter, Natasha, Sam and Tony throw themselves on the bed, crushing you while they all yell at the same time, the chorus of joy being along the lines of ‘Bucky’s alive’.
Bucky’s arms around you tighten while he tries to protect you from the team’s attack as best as he can while the two of you laugh at your friend’s antics.
You may have had the worst week of your life, but it’s over now. And while you’re looking forward to having some time alone with Bucky, right now you’re happy to be squished under a pile of shouting Avengers.
This just feels right. As weird as your life, and your family is, you wouldn’t want it any other way.
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thebibliosphere · 1 year
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It’s been a while since I fever dreamed the plot to something, but I just woke up from a literal fever dream set in a futuristic version of New York where Tom Hiddleston and his pet cyborg owl are entrenched in a spy thriller buddy-cop narrative, only to get swept up in the conflicting heartfelt rom-com narrative of Dakota Johnson who, after a series of unfortunate breakups, has sworn off love and committed herself heart and soul to her job as a curator at Futuristic Met Museum. This is much to the distress of her weed smoking, shroom taking trans lesbian mothers and their elderly dog, Jeff, who just want her to find happiness and love.
As part of his cover, Tom and his cyborg owl, Frank, move into the same apartment where he’ll be staying for several months while he plans to steal a diamond from the Met. I think if you held it up to the light it would project nuclear launch codes that’d been etched onto it. Don’t ask me, my brain was more focused on making the cyborg owl into the wise-cracking comic relief. It kept saying things like “wow Tom, you really are a jack of owl trades” or “don’t worry, Tom, owl always love you.”
The pair meet in the lobby where Tom manages to piss off Dakota by not holding the elevator for her while she is carrying heavy boxes. The apartment building, however, is old and shitty, and he gets stuck in the elevator, requiring him to be rescued by one of Dakota’s mothers who also happens to be the super. Dakota huffs her way out the stairwell just in time to hear her mother inviting the “nice British man” to dinner, much to her chagrin as she realizes that her mom is trying to set her up with the asshole and the cyborg owl that sits on his shoulder like a parrot.
Tom, who finds out she works for the met over said dinner, decides to go along with it as he realizes she’d be the perfect cover to get into the Met Museum for an upcoming gala event—not to mention the perfect person to take the fall for his theft—and begins wooing her relentlessly, assuring Frank, the cyborg owl, that it’s all just part of the mission.
Eventually, the pair fall for each other for realzies, and Tom is conflicted over using her to steal the diamond but his time is running out because we also find out he went rogue for a while after his partner died and was using his skills to work freelance for an international crime syndicate and now the mob is after him?????
Anyway, he’s about to confess all to her on the night of the gala when she gets a phone call from her moms letting her know that their elderly dog, Jeff, is dying so the pair rush back to the apartment and take him to the nearest cyborg vet in the hopes of saving him. En route, the mob find them and start shooting at the flying car they’re in and it leads to a comedic shouting match between the pair along the lines of “what do you mean you’re an international spy and the mob are after you? Ugh, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this sooner! I told you everything about me!”
“Oh, yes, your embarrassing high school stories are exactly the same thing as divulging international secrets. Tell you what, after this let’s get a coffee and I can tell you some highly sensitive top secret information to even out the playing field.”
Anyway, Frank the cyborg owl manages to take out the mob car chasing them with a grenade (????!), and the pair get Jeff to the cyborg vet in time. The dream shifted after that to Dakota helping Tom to figure out how to break into the Met so he can get the diamond, not because she loves him and he helped save her childhood dog, but because she wants him gone. Tom accepts her help and storms off to his own apartment where Frank the cyborg owl is poignantly silent save to say “take some Tylenol”
“…what?”
“Wake up, you need Tylenol.”
Which is what sent me rocketing upright in bed, dizzy and dehydrated, pounding migraine headache, drenched in sweat and running what the thermometer tells me is a 102 fever.
Which brings us to now where I’m downing Tylenol in the dimly lit kitchen, guzzling water and typing this all up on my phone because there’s no way I’m going to remember all this in the morning but damn if it wasn’t a fun dream.
Anyway, shout out to Frank the cyborg owl for waking me up before my brain fried ✌️🦉. I’m going back to bed.
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kiss-me-muchoo · 11 months
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𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 || 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐎’𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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part one || part two: so many signs
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ When Miguel fell so hard for an anomaly that ended up being another one of his canon events; a soulmate. Only that it was late, very late.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ fluff, angst?, reader is a hot Hispanic sunshine, plot twist at the end, age gap? (How old is Miguel?, like 28, early 30's?, reader is like 20 not specified) I'm 19, so in my head reader is 20, fuck it <3.
𝐀𝐍_ hellooo, this is my Ist fic for this fandom, I've been trying to hide this crush for weeks, I can't anymore.
♪ ♫ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙎𝙏 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙈𝙤𝙟𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖.
<3,𝙄𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙭 (+fics)
_________________
[11 months before the events of SPIDER-MAN: ATSV]…
Nothing is perfect; nothing can be that special. But somehow, you ended up being that, at least almost. 
Because this is how everything starts; you were stressing out for college sophomore year finals when in the middle of your room, a portal opened and absorbed you. 
Sounds incredibly ridiculous and cringe… Right?. Sorry, but it’s about to get worse.
The portal only left you there, hanging between random universes, and out of nowhere, a spider bit you. And seconds later, you were back at home stressing over the finals.
Yeah, you didn’t think it would be a problem, only that it increased your phobia of spiders. Later, you accepted that Los Angeles would have an arachnid vigilante. 
Yeah, Los Angeles. No shit, you wouldn’t fly to save New York in your universe just to fit the stereotype. Besides, they already had one, the most significant and original anomaly, Miles Morales.
That’s for later, by the way.
You had your suspicions that the multiverse existed but no curiosity. You only cared about your sacred California and, to be more specific, your friends and family. 
So it goes; you were a sparkly spider-girl with glitter webs and fantastic hair, saving people from the crime on Skid Row, abusive elites in Downtown, corruption in Glendale, and extortions from Santa Clarita. 
Your family knew about it, and your friends too. They helped to pick out your surname; Aragmatica.
So you had everything; no pressure from being the spider-girl Aragmatica, wonderful friends, and family. A transcription remote job and a firm college pathway to be a writer and teacher. 
Except for one thing; love.
You didn’t have anyone to hold, anyone who made you laugh like never. Someone who made you feel the scarlet blush and raced heartbeats.
Nah, fuck that. You don’t need a man. 
________
Warm day in Hollywood Hills, 12:00 pm. 
Finally, your official transcript from that year was carefully sealed in an envelope. Summer break was yours, starting with a good ballet class.
Your spider senses weren’t fully developed because you never saw 4 pair of eyes watching you.
The class was fun, though. All the music was from the most famous plays, and having the opportunity to wear a tutu was always accepted. 
You didn’t care coming out of the building wearing it after the friendly teacher gifted you the fluffy piece of clothing.
You also didn’t care to sing slightly aloud as you walked towards your car. 
And that’s when 4 individuals interfered with your way; Peter B. Parker, Hobie Brown, and Gwen Stacy.
“Uh… nice cosplays. But the Comic-Con is more to the south. In San Diego…” They looked at each other. Only the older guy stepped further, laughing.
“Oh, you’re funny. There’s also one in my universe, but it’s celebrated in Coney Island and-“ only that Gwen pinched him. The older man frowned.
“She’s leaving, Peter,” Gwen said. 
“Hey! Wait!” Peter stopped you from closing your car door, and you looked more confused than ever.
“Dude, back off. There’s a kid between us. You don’t want to do this…” Hobie giggled. He had remained leaning against a mailbox during the whole interaction.
“What? No-, I-. We need to talk to you… we’re also spider people” Rolling your eyes, you just rested your head on the steering wheel.
“Yeah, your suits are too good to cosplay. I like your pointe shoes though” Gwen blushed but said thank you for your flattery. 
“I’m Peter Parker. The guy with the cool outfit that’s Hobie Brown. And the girl with the pointe shoes you liked is Gwen Stacy” They looked lovely. Hobie and Gwen, probably your age, but you were running late for dinner. You had to drop the transcript for validation in early registration for a master's program.
You didn’t have time for this Have you heard of the Avengers initiative? moment.
The best you could do was politely turn them down. But they were already inside your car. 
“Hey!. Okay, if this is some spider intervention, I don’t have time to travel between universes and that stuff” Hobie started playing your radio. Again, you rolled your eyes.
“This is good music, girl. Nice…” he said, making you smile a little. He seemed nicer.
“Thanks, but…” Then Gwen interrupted you.
“You could be dangerous or cause a massive disaster for the canon. You are a rare case between spiders” For the first time, you were quiet. Maybe that omen was this, that not everything could be perfect.
“You felt it….” Peter said because your silence was loud enough to tell him. 
“You knew about us then?” 
“The multiverse and variations are not a thrill in this universe. I wasn’t expecting this on a random Friday afternoon,” you explained.
“Our boss wants to meet you. We need to know what type of anomaly you are” They all heard you sighing. You had too many questions but were tired, so you wouldn’t be annoying. 
“Okay.” Peter shrugged in disbelief.
“That’s it?. No questions?” Gwen passed you a blue band, probably to travel between universes.
“She’s not energetic nor annoying. Miguel will like her,” Hobie stated, comfortable in the passenger seat. 
“Just don’t smile too much, avoid questions, and you’ll be fine” Humming in agreement, you waited.
A portal of bright colors and blinding flashes appeared seconds later from your car's windshield. It was different from what you expected. In the movies looked easier.
“Okay, here we go…” Peter announced. And with fast blood pressure, you followed them. 
The first thing you felt was the urge to complain on the ground. Laying on your stomach, with your hair in a now disheveled bun. 
Everyone turned to look at you, finally noticing you were wearing a tutu and leotard in grey and black colors. 
“Lost your hoodie?” Gwen asked, being the first to start giggling, followed by the others.
“Could any of you have alerted me to prepare for this type of landing?” You asked anyone in particular. Then you analyzed Gwen’s question. 
“MY hoodie!. Damnit, it was new!” And that’s how you lost 75 dollars. But soon, you stopped thinking about the new tour merch you lost.
It was a bright earth, futuristic and agitated. And as soon as you entered the giant building, you noticed it was full of spider people. 
From any size to any color, but… no one was similar to you. Well, you didn’t have a suit yet, but… you couldn’t feel a spider sense with anyone.
“Surprised?” Gwen asked, walking by your side. 
“Well. I’d rather say disturbed,” she giggled.
“You’re unlike any spider I’ve met,” the blonde added.
“I can’t be special. I must be the most boring spider-girl….” Bored or not, you were missing dinner. Your family would be worried if you didn’t come back past midnight. Hopefully, your first interaction with another universe will be quick.
“That’s why you must be here…” said a new voice.
A pregnant spider-woman?. Could you feel any weirder?.
“Yeah…I’m y/n. No suit yet, but I have the name of Aragmatica” She nodded. Her yellow glasses were very cool, you liked her look in general.
“We know that. But let’s go. Miguel needs to see you….” and officially, that was the beginning of everything.
The HQ was futuristic, wide and full of people. Everything was so weird that edged being ridiculous. Until, the group of spiders lead you to a dark room. Full of technology and chemistry stuff.
For the first time, you felt a tingle when he finally faced you; Miguel O’Hara. And to be honest, his broad and tall figure intimidated you. 
He said you were a bizarre anomaly. You were the only spider person who had been bitten between universes. Meaning that you were an accident, nobody was like you. 
Unconsciously, your own canon was building up as every day passed. So your actions were vital for everyone. 
He offered you a place in the group to keep order among universes. Suspicious, but seemed honest at the same time.
“I appreciate the offer, but I have a degree to finish. And I got enrolled for summer ballet classes….” you said, ambling towards the exit.
“No. You need to be a responsible spider girl and do what you’re expected to do,” the man said, intimidating you more as he towered you. Beside getting lost in his amazing hair, intriguing brown eyes and sharp jaw, your thoughts were running. Maybe you were being selfish. Most of the people in the room had lost a lot. You didn’t.
“You just said I’m an accident. There are no expectations from me. I can’t break canon. I’m making my own….” you dared to say, avoiding looking into his brown eyes. 
“You want to find out?” a little closer, and you would touch his chest. Besides, the tingle was back. Miguel also felt it, but he called it on you being angered by this new phase you would enter.
You knew he was going to be hard to deal with. But deep inside, you liked the feeling he had planted on your stomach.
“No…” you admitted. Slightly afraid of losing what you had. He smiled but for less than a second. 
“That’s what I thought” After that, it was history. 
________
Two months. And things were… okay.
You made a great friendship with Peter and Hobie. Something inside you was stopping you from trusting Gwen at all.
Then, Jessica was good but slightly challenging. Even Pavitr was good.
And then, it was Miguel. 
Fucking Miguel O’Hara. He was dead serious every time. Still, you refused to show he could intimidate you.
Like right now, or… at that moment, whatever. 
“He’s going to kill you…” Lyla whispered, moving in circles around you.
“He won’t if someone no va de chismosa,” she frowned.
“He’s going to kill us both, y/n,” she almost yelled. Following you to the briefing of a new case.
“He can’t kill you, Lyla. Be serious…” you stated, shrugging.
“I don’t want to know…” 
“Me neither. So just shush….” The room was almost empty. Only Peter, Hobie, and Jessica were inside.
The sound of the door captured everyone’s attention. Miguel sighed. After that, he stopped talking.
“You’re late….” Of course, he would remark on your irresponsibility.
“Traffic on Venice. What can I say, handsome?” he rolled his eyes and indicated you sit down. 
Earth-238, neon venom, evacuated civilians, blah blah blah. The mission would be easy, and you’d be leaving the room.
“not you, y/n….” Miguel’s voice caught you off guard. When you turned around, Lyla was still whispering to him.
“Bitch…” you whispered.
“Hey, I’ll wait for you,” Hobie said, indicating that he would wait outside the room. 
You nodded at him, smiling as he left.
“Why did you send the evidence of last week’s mission to Jessica instead of me?” He asked, arms crossed. 
“She’s also my boss,” you admitted, avoiding his judgemental brows and gaze.
“I’m in charge. She’s second in command. So?…” you pinched your nose, anxiety creeping over.
“I-…” It was useless; you had to be honest.
“Because uh-, I didn’t want you to see the anomaly recording” he was right. He knew you would be afraid of his reaction. Something inside switched to be softer. 
“I almost killed that girl. It was an accident, but… I can’t control this new ability. And I want to do a good job” Your anxiety was evident. Miguel had to suppress a smile.
“You have a big responsibility on your shoulders. The power to retain or doom canon” a lecture was coming. And you wished he wore his mask because you could see his whole features. Making it prone to capture any negativity from him. 
“And that’s why you must be on missions with me, not Jessica. I’m training you, not her” To be honest, you were surprised. 
“You make me nervous all the time. I’m afraid I’ll make something stupid on any of these days, and you’ll send me home” He kind of chuckled, and it made you beyond surprised.
“I thought you were working on the English degree and summer ballet classes.” 
“You remember it?” Could your heart beat any faster?. His eyes were deep-fixed on yours, and it was killing you in a good way.
“Madre mía, stop giving me that look. I’m gonna piss myself off from nervousness.”
“Don’t be that of a perfectionist. You’re doing good, kid” The pat on your shoulder made you explode.
Right there, you knew it was over. You had a crush on Miguel O’Hara.
____________________
Was it possible to see everything in pink shades and heart sprinkles? That’s how you were looking at every universe. You were starting your lover era.
“PETER! PETER!” You yelled, running towards the man, heading out of the cafeteria. Most spider people on the headquarters looked at you, but you didn’t care.
“Woah, calm down, girl,” he said with a smile.
“I need to tell you something” he couldn’t describe your excitement but happily took your hand when you pushed him inside an empty conference room.
“I have a crush on Miguel,” you said with an evident blush.
“YOU WHAT?” He asked yelling.
“I know, I know. But… he’s so sweet to me. He said I shouldn’t be nervous about him and that I was doing good. He remembers my career and that I’m doing ballet classes. Oh, and today he opened the door for me TWICE!” You explain excited, pinching your suit, in pearl and iridescent tones with a sparkly spider resting on your chest. 
“This is insane. Are you insane, y/n?. We’re talking about Miguel. Our grumpy and snarky boss that gets stressed over the tiniest detail and doesn’t know how to smile” You nodded, rolling your eyes.
“It’s not like he’s the love of my life or destiny, Peter. It’s just a crush….” you tried to convince yourself.
“No, no, no. I disapprove of this. Isn’t he a little older for you?” You sighed.
“Oh, c’mon. MJ is younger than you, Mr. No age gap”
“This is serious, y/n. I’ve known Miguel for a long time. You know what happened to him. I don’t think he’s emotionally ready for this” he was right. But you were confident that this crush wouldn’t be a big issue.
“I know. The least I want to do is hurt him. But once again, it’s just a crush, Peter,” you started coming out of the room. And, like a big coincidence, Miguel was walking through the hallway with Lyla talking to him. 
“Hey, is it okay if I go to your office at lunchtime?” you asked the broad man once he was walking near you. He had his mask, that if you stared too long, it was a severe and scary gaze, but he nodded once. Neither you nor Peter noticed Miguel was actually looking at you. Causing him to feel a weird pricking.
“Sure,” with that, he left with the female IA giving you a bad look.
“What?” Peter asked in disbelief once again.
“See? Nothing to worry about, love,” you said,
_____________
“Don’t be so late, mija. There’s no crime tonight for you to take that long,” your grandma told you from the kitchen. You entered the room being greeted by the smell of mole and ponche.
“With this food waiting for me. Yeah, sure, the city can rest a night without me, abuelita,” she giggled as you kissed her cheek. 
“I’m just going for a stretch. And maybe a flan for dinner” Your favorite part of the day was starting. So happily, you left the house. AirPods on with your favorite music blasting through them, and it felt like heaven.
Swinging from palm to buildings and watching the crowds of the traffic of LA. Until you were in the Fashion District Downtown. You stopped at your favorite rooftop to see the last minutes of the West Coast sunset. 
And it was beautiful. Orange, pink, yellow, purple, blue, and black. Like a firework evaporated in the sky. 
The air feels perfect for taking a long breath, and you feel thankful for having a good day.
“Hey..” you nearly fell from the building, but a well-known bright red web caught you in time. 
When you turned around, you had Miguel watching you.
“Miguel?. What are you doing here?” The surprise and shock were eating you alive. Maybe an emergency happened, or he exiled you from the Spider Society. Who knows?
“Just checking on you…” lately, he had been more close to you. Giving you a hand on missions, being willing to have more extended conversations, and softer pieces of advice.
“Why?” You ask, arching a brow.
“Last week, you were a little slow…” he hears you giggling, and as he walks closer, he sees you hanging your toes on the edge. He sees your hair freely fly as you laugh. Cute, he thinks.
“I was on my period. We’re good now…” he thanked, wearing the mask because his cheeks were burning. 
“Don’t be silly, Miguel. It’s… normal,” you said after he stood there quietly.
“Come, seat with me…” he obeyed, establishing some distance with you, but not too much. 
Then he removed his mask, and you confirmed that his hair always looked gorgeous. 
“Your universe is interesting,” he said finally.
“We are very fixed; little surprises us. And capitalism is leading us to ruin, but yes... it's interesting” Miguel wasn’t expecting that answer but smiled. Only because you didn’t catch it.
“You are spending too much time with Hobie,” you laughed, nodding.
“Yeah, I’ll take that…” This time, you noticed his smile. And you wanted to keep the moment a little longer.
“Can we talk?” 
“We are talking, y/n…” he let out a brief chuckle again.
“No, I know, but…I’m afraid. Of hurting someone in the process of creating a disaster with all of this being an anomaly” For weeks, you tried to avoid the thoughts of insecurity. But this was a good moment because Miguel had been training you, and he was the right and worst person to talk about this. 
“And it frustrates me that I don’t understand at all what I am….” you said, covering your face, letting all the intrusive thoughts out. Because even on a good day, anxiety could sneak in.
“Being a spider person means being afraid of many things. Keep in mind that you’ll constantly worry, but it’s part of the job. You don’t sign for it; it just hits you” his words were profound. Enough to soothe some of your panics.
“I wish I could be straight to the point like you….” Miguel was urged to touch your hand or strands of hair that brushed his forearm. But he resisted, only looking at your profile. 
“No. It’s good to be honest and worry too.” 
“And you’re something bigger than an anomaly. You’re special” Maybe his tone made everything sound softer.
“Well, I don’t feel special,” you admitted. “I feel like an accident. Not meant to be here, but nothing else to do.”
“You don’t need to feel it. I just see it…” when you turned to look at him, it was his soft look that made you realize, you were falling in love with him.
As your smile grew, Miguel completely ignored any thought of fear. He was just feeling, letting his heart warm and reciprocate your smile. 
“You have to come and have dinner with my family and me,” you blurted excitedly.
“No.” 
“SI!.”
“Por Dios. No, y/n!” He said, rolling his eyes.
“They’re not annoying or nosy, I promise,” you pleaded. He knew there was no problem because they knew you were a spider girl and the Spider Society. But… Mexican families could be nosy when a girl arrived home with a man. 
“Please, as a thank you for listening to my bullshit. Por favor, ándale. Di que sí…” he couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to reject you.
“Está bien, pues….” 
He smiled again, watching you celebrate as you started balancing between buildings. Soon he followed you, happy to feel the way he was doing.
________________________
The shock on everyone’s faces only increased the more you talked.
Pavitr, Gwen, Hobie, and Peter had their mouths open.
“And then, we went to get a flan for dinner. A kid asked for a selfie with us, and it was so silly,” you narrated.
“When we arrived home, he was so sweet. Only speaking Spanish, and he told mi abuelita I was doing great in job” Peter decided it was time to cover his mouth with one hand. Soon, everyone followed, keeping the shock.
“Dad was slightly judgmental but soon changed his mind because Miguel accepted a beer from him.” 
“Oh, and we spent hours in my room” That was enough for Peter.
“WHAT?… EXCUSE ME?”
“NO, PETER!. Jesus… we spent hours in my room because I was explaining to him some of my analysis from literature classes” The color returned to his face. Nodded understanding, and everyone else laughed.
“I can’t believe this. I simply can’t…” Pavitr confessed. “Love can come in strange ways…”
“Who’s talking of love, Pavitr?” Hobie asked playfully.
“Well…” you whispered.
“What else?” Gwen almost jumped, needing to know more. You were starting to like her more.
Once again, both of you were back on a rooftop. It was almost 2:00am.
“I-, I liked this…” Miguel managed to say. Looking down at you, trying to regain his neutral and serious tone and look. But after spending hours with you, it seemed impossible.
“Me too. You were so sweet, and thank you for being so comprehensive” Your excitement didn’t match your words, not that Miguel cared. But he realized you had jumped and grabbed both of his hands. And before you pulled away, he was caressing your knuckles.
“It was nothing…” 
“Are you coming tomorrow?” He asked.
“I think I stopped being a half-time employee some time ago…” he nodded, smiling.
“True.”
Hands were still holding. And none of you wanted to break the touch.
“Till tomorrow then….” you said, sad to break the touch but happy for everything that happened that night.
And with that, you saw Miguel opening a portal, and you left. 
You accidentally dropped a notebook when you entered your room through the window. Cursing between whispers, you hoped you didn’t wake up your family.
“Te dió un beso?” your grandma asked, opening your room door. You smiled deeply.
“No. But we hold hands for a long time, abuelita.”
“Creo que lo amo….” you admitted, very afraid.
“I think he loves you too,” she said.
“NO - FUCKING - WAY!” Gwen yelled.
“Are you sure you weren’t dreaming of drunk?”
“No, Peter. I only drink in Mexico, and I had a dream of the last episode of The haunting of Hill House I watched” he snorted as if he had heard something incredible. Gwen couldn’t stop taking time to digest the information, Pavitr too, and Hobie was… being Hobie.
“Dude looks nice with her. I heard him laugh the other day,” Hobie stated. 
“Me too. And he canceled a meeting to go and train her,” Pavitr added.
“He’s, like, the last person I imagined you would say you had a date with.” 
“It wasn’t a date….” you said.
“IT WASN’T A DATE?. Girl, he had dinner with your family, listened to your boring old books for hours, and held your hands for… five or eight minutes?” 
“Okay… maybe it unconsciously turned into a date.” They all nodded. Even Mayday seemed to nod. 
“Oh, my god… Was it a date?”
_______________________
Peter sighed as he watched you laugh with Hobie. 
“… y/n is very happy. Did you two have fun last night?” He asked Miguel once he entered his office. 
“I’m not discussing this with you,” the broad man approached to say.
Peter loved you like a sister. He wanted you to be happy and safe. 
He trusted Miguel after years of knowing each other. But he wasn’t sure if you two had a bright future. 
“I don’t want to discuss this with you either.”
“So?”
“Look, she’s like Mayday’s aunt. I want her to be happy. And you too, man. But… I want you to think… Is it correct?” Miguel stopped looking at the screens. 
“We can’t lose her. And I don’t want to see another era of pain and collapse” It hit him.
What was he thinking? Letting all of his feelings take over him. He couldn’t be in love; it wasn’t meant for him. 
Your canon was unsure, delicate. And his… was doomed.
He imagined having to see you gone, and he wasn’t ready to find out. 
He wasn’t ready to go through that pain again. 
“Just think… because maybe it’s meant to be, but-“
“No. You’re right…” Miguel accepted. 
Peter grew quiet. 
“After y/n leaves tonight. Call the others, except Hobie…” 
Miguel made a decision. Losing you was going to save both of you. Or so he thought. 
_____
Weird.
The cafeteria was quiet.
Then a piece of your suit ripped off. 
And spider-cat was absent!!! 
Then, you didn’t see Miguel the day before. When you asked Lyla, she said he was swamped with his job, so you would not make him stressed. Plus, having some space after spending the night together would be great. 
“Hey!” You called Hobie when he sat next to you on a bench. He was used to visiting you in your universe. He liked the food and how the people complained about something new daily.
“Something feels weird,” he blurted, tilting his head.
“RIGHT?. I thought I was the only one” he nodded and sighed. That was also weird; Hobie never hesitated to spit the words out.
“What?”
“Yesterday. After you left, Peter called everyone except for me. It seemed weird that just as you left, he called everyone to get a lecture from Miguel,” Another weird thing. Why you and Hobie would be excluded?
“Miguel stopped wasting his time with me, But a meeting without you?” Maybe it wasn’t anything. Perhaps a simple meeting. There had been some occasions where you had not been present.
“Do you wanna go and find why?” you asked playfully. He nodded with a gentle smile.
“Hell yeah…” Both of you left in seconds.
Spending time with Spider-punk was always fun. Hobie made you remember things like; fuck it, just do it. 
And he liked spending time with you because of your honesty. 
But for the first hour, you didn’t find anyone. Even when the headquarters of the Spider Society were big, you thought it would have been easier. 
By the evening, you find yourself eating an empanada, thinking of Miguel. Accepting you started missing him. 
“Guys!…” Gwen called you and Hobie. As she walked towards you two, Hobie said something quick.
“Don’t ask anything yet…” you nodded to him. 
“We were busy getting scolded by Miguel. But there’s a new mission we need to go to. And he wants all, let’s go….” The punk man and you exchanged looks, not buying Gwen’s words.
You got too carried away, forming possible explanations for her weird behavior. Why you hadn’t seen your friends the day before?. And why you and Hobie were excluded from the last meeting?. 
You didn’t even look at Pavitr taking Hobie away. 
As soon as you entered the room, Jessica, Peter, and Miguel were inside.
“Where’s Hobie?” He asked.
“He was right here…” Gwen mumbled, looking around, making Miguel sigh tired. 
He didn't look at you for the first minutes of the debriefing. The more he ignored your presence, the more your questions emerged.
“Everyone get ready… except for y/n,” he announced with his neutral and cold face.
“Why?”
“You’re going home.”
“WHAT?” you screamed.
At the end of the day, Miguel wasn’t ready for this. But he was doing his best, even if it meant lying to you.
“Your canon is changing, constantly glitching. We can’t risk anything happening. I’m sending you home…” he explained like nothing.
“No, please. You have to stop seeing me as a danger. Look at me as your talisman, like a ghost in the multiverses. If it was something bad, it would’ve happened already” he kept looking straight at the doors, not even moving.
It hurt you that he was still unsure of you, especially after everything he said in your home.
“It’s for the best.”
“Can we talk… In private?” You whispered, taking his forearm. He slowly moved away, making you feel the pain grow.
“There’s nothing to talk about”
“Oh really?. I think we do. What about the other day?”
“It was. All this time, it was. It wasn’t a coincidence that you appeared after someone tried opening portals in your earth,” you gasped in shock.
“I did it for the Spider Society. I needed to know you were not a threat.”
“You said I was special…” he managed to hear you whisper. And it was tearing him.
“You are. But a potential danger too. Which is why I’m sending you home…” you shake your head, fighting the tears rapidly forming in your eyes.
“All of you knew about this?” You asked, looking at Peter, Gwen, and Jessica. 
The pregnant woman bowed her head while Gwen looked like she wanted to say something but couldn’t.
“We do this because we care for and want to protect you…” 
“Really? This is not what friends do. All you do is lie and lie to me!” you said with a broken voice.
“I’m sorry,” Miguel admitted looking down.
“GOD, STOP LYING” you yelled. 
“Tell me I meant nothing to you. Or admit you might be scared of the possibility of falling in love with me….”
“You meant nothing to me. It was all a lie” he broke you. You swore you heard your heart decreasing its heartbeats. 
“For one minute, I thought you… loved me back” As he stood there quietly, you started crying. 
To everyone’s shock, it was the first time they saw you crying. Gwen tried to reach you, but you stepped back, moving away from all of them.
At the same time, Pavitr and Hobie entered the room.
“Something weird happened. You might want to see this, boss,” Pavitr announced. 
“It was dope….” Hobie admitted leaning on the door frame. But stood quiet after watching you crying.
The moment turned uneasy, debating whether to go or stay with you.
“Please, let’s go, and then we’ll talk with tranquility about this,” Peter told you. Giving a look that he wasn’t happy with seeing you cry. 
Slowly, you followed them. Ignoring Miguel’s look. 
Then you thought, What was the point of following them? If they would send you home after that?.
Anger wasn’t a good feeling, but it was blinding you. All the fantastic facade they sold you of good friends. The months Miguel lied to you. He could have done it differently. But he even dared to agree to have dinner with your family. 
He held your hands and made you believe there was a chance. 
So you stopped following them and turned to the lower plant of the building.
___________
Your web was tiny, like a baby’s. It glitched a lot, but when Miguel entered with the others, he noticed the glitch was even more aggressive than ever. 
There were only two canon moments; you getting bit and joining the Spider Society. But a new one was forming. And from the shiny dot, a new line grew.
“What the hell?” Peter asked in disbelief.
The line started moving until it was connected to another: Miguel’s.
And from that connection, a new canon event was officially established.
You and Miguel were together. Dramatically holding hands and facing each other.
“Holy sh-” Gwen almost said but couldn’t finish the sentence. 
“Does this mean…” Jessica started.
“She’s part of your canon,” Peter confirmed.
Miguel was in shock; his eyes remained on what the model displayed. You were really meant for him. He hadn’t need to worry about it ending in disaster. Still, it didn’t soothe him.
“Uh-boss? Our pretty little y/n started a countdown to return home and temporarily block the entrance to her earth,” Lyla announced, appearing beside Miguel. He turned to look at her, worried. 
“What?”
“I tried stopping her, but I believe she’s growing her cosmic powers?” the day couldn’t get more complicated for Spider-Man 2099.
“Cosmic powers?” Peter asked, running when Miguel started heading towards the exit.
Lyla, crossed her arms looking at everyone starting running. She couldn’t admit it to anyone. That if your issue wasn’t fixed, something darker could happen. The AI couldn’t throw salt in Miguel’s wound.
“Jessica, send help. Lyla, stop her,” he demanded. Jessica nodded, and Lyla disappeared.
“There’s no spider with cosmic powers. But y/n was a bit between universes. So maybe she has some of them or….” 
“Peter shut up!. I just can’t lose her!” If you were Miguel’s destiny, he would do things right. And he regretted setting up all of the secret meetings and lies. 
He rushed to get to you faster than anyone. He wasn’t even sure the blocking earth thing worked. 
Maybe he was exaggerating, but he was willing to set the alarms so everyone would try to stop him. 
If he had waited a day, none of this would’ve happened. But he had understood once that things happened for a reason; canon. 
So as fast as he was running, something inside told him it was already late.
Peter and Gwen followed close to him, ready to find you prepared to leave. 
The panic finally settled when they entered the dark room, and you were already behind the colorful barrier. 
“NO!. Please, y/n” You turned to hear Miguel’s voice calling you. 
Your look was empty, but the anger was there. He kept calling for you, but you didn’t say a word. 
All of you wanted was to leave. Sleep and forget you were a spider girl. Ease the pain of your broken heart. And accept that no matter if you were the only variant of yourself in all the universes, you were meant to end up without love. 
Because when he had you face to face, you were gone. 
Confused, you appeared on a random street in Downtown LA. Your suit was ripped, your hair was a mess, and the tears didn’t seem to stop. A wave of cold air hit you, making you shiver and hug yourself. 
Feeling broken and in shock, you found yourself stepping on a broken glass bottle. Your left foot instantly started bleeding, making you fall to your knees.
That’s when you no longer held the tears; you just let all the sobs take over. 
You shouldn’t have accepted to join the Spider Society; you shouldn’t have pushed your crush for Miguel. 
I hate this. I hate this. God, I hate this…
With no more strength, you stood up. And tottering, you started walking towards home. 
It was okay; it would be okay. 
________________________
Cringe in general? Maybe… part two?
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bluewhitehues · 3 months
Text
Hug | Kim Mingyu
Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.
Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff
Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader
Part 4
It was Sunday. The boys have their practice today that means mingyu and chan are going to meet. As soon as Mingyu goes to the practice room he spots chan but chan tries to avoid him lingering by seokmins side.
"YOU you fuvker come here right now-"
Mingyu tries to grab him while Chan's shoving a confused seokmin in between them he's asking what's this about ,what happened.
"This bastard told me he'd set me up on a date with y/n, turns out he told her it's a blind date instead of telling her it's a date with me"
"Ah hyuuung.. come on I tried my best for you two I had no other way i thought this would be the best option" chan whined
"Yah dino-ya that isn't nice, think about how he must've felt he was so excited to go" Seokmin scolds chan.
"Exactly my point ...what best option chan, did you even think about me? I thought she agreed on a date because she likes me as well ..did you think my feelings were a joke? Or am I that desperate that you'd have to lie to her for a date ? If I had known I'd find some other way to do it myself do you think I couldn't ask her myself? " Mingyu asks.. there's hurt clear in his eyes.
Chan feels terrible now his voice gets small when he speaks ,"hyung I'm so sorry...I should have thought about you more I didn't think that far, trust me I just wanted you two to get along and may be like each other cause you both are so precious to me and you both are one of the most amazing people I know ...I swear I just thought about your happiness."
Mingyu sighs," you shouldn't have done that but it's ok I forgive you."
He can't stay mad at his little brother for long anyway.
Chan hugs him suddenly, he really does feel very bad, "I'm sorry again hyungg you know I love you right?"
Mingyu pats his back while rolling his eyes, but he's smiling, "yeah yeah I love you too but never pull such stunts again."
Meanwhile there's jeonghan, hoshi and basically all the boys staring at them, they heard everything obviously.
"so you went on a date? That too with y/n ? And you didn't tell us?" Seungkwan speaks for everyone while they are nodding along with him waiting for mingyu to answer.
"It was a first date I didn't know what will happen ofcourse I was going to tell you all if it all worked out-" chan cuts him off, talking with his eyes widened, "wait a minute..it didn't go well?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then? " Chan asks again.
"I mean uh she was pretty shocked ..she didn't think it'd be me , so I didn't want to make her anymore uncomfortable, so we just talked normally, we went out for a walk then I dropped her off ."
"THAT'S IT??" Chan asked his eyes comically wide.
"uh yeah like I didn't want to burden her so I said we can be friends."
At this, they all collectively facepalm themselves.
"Seriously mingyu??? FRIENDS???" hoshi says looking at mingyu like he's ridiculous.
Jeonghan also steps in, "yeah like it was a date right? no romantic lovey dovey thing happened? Instead of asking her for another date you asked her to be friends?"
"You didn't even try to flirt with her or something? " Says Seungcheol.
"I did all this for nothing then" chan says in disbelief.
Mingyu closes his eyes, rubbing his hand on his forehead frustratingly at their questions. "Can you all just drop it please? I'll manage by myself thank you."
"yeah just lets get back to practice." Wonwoo says rubbing mingyu's back comfortingly.
Then they go on with their day.
And you, You're enjoying your weekend resting at home. When you get Chan's text.
Dinosaur 🦖: So you frienzoned mingyu hyung??
You: WHAT??? He said that??
You're confused Mingyu wouldn't do that, would he?
Dinosaur 🦖: No he said you were shocked,he didn't want to make you uncomfortable so he suggested you can be just friends.
Dinosaur 🦖: But hello I'm disappointed?? I even planned your wedding in my head and what did you do? You frienzoned each other 🤐🤐👏🏻👏🏻just great
You: woah woah no one told you to get that excited buddy and definitely not on a date which you planned by lying
Dinosaur 🦖: Pleaseee I said I'm sorry and don't make me feel more guilty I was already about to cry if mingyu hyung didn't forgive me...I don't think I can ever trouble him again even jokingly
You: was it that bad? Is he ok?
You can't help but feel bad thinking about him.
Dinosaur 🦖: well it's all my fault.. but girl atleast now you take some effort 🙄 I've found you such a great match and you're gonna keep him as your friend??
Dinosaur 🦖: God y/n even god wouldn't forgive such a thing.. I hate to say it but girls would die to be at your place right now.. GAME UPPPP I will even give you tips on how to flirt if you want
You roll your eyes at that.
You: Oh please I'm great at flirting you're the last person I'd take help from, you've done enough just go and focus on your practice for now..byeee
Dinosaur 🦖: BYE🙄🤐
Your thoughts take you to Mingyu again, "he must be hurt", "should I talk to him?", "what if he thinks I'm pitying him."
Your train of thoughts get interrupted by another ping of your phone , you pick it up to see mingyu's name on it.
On the other hand, Mingyu promises himself that he won't be sad anymore cause what is there to be sad about right? He's always the one who thinks about the brighter side of the situation, everyone says he's just too positive and hopeful even in the worst situations but Mingyu takes pride in that .. cause not many people have it, it takes a lot to be that positive,that courageous, that happy. So he's just gonna be himself.
Cause before yesterday, First- he didn't have your number, Second-you weren't on talking basis/you had zero connection, Three- He didn't have you even as a friend.. so for him it's win is a win kind of situation.
You read his text.
Mingyu : Heyy ..so chan asked me something about your purse??
You: oh shitt I forgot to tell you ..I lied about that to get your number from him 🫢
Mingyu: well don't worry I covered for you, you owe me something now👀 ..also should've asked me for my number directly, I'm more than willing to give it to you.
ONE THING ABOUT MINGYU IS HE WILL FLIRT, and your heart will suffer . Well in his defence he said you will be friends...there was no part where he mentioned he won't flirt or he won't try to woo you. So it seems you just gotta prepare yourself.
You huff at his reply, you started talking to him just from yesterday but you already got to know that this boy was a flirt ..a smooth one at that.
And were you feeling giddy, were you blushing? Well may be
You: Oh I'd have definately..asked it by myself. But you see it was an eventful day so kind of forgot to ask ...also yes I do owe you a big one, for yesterday as well ..tell me what I can do ? How about a meal?
Mingyu: Wouldn't that be a date?
You: it'd be whatever we will treat it as ..we said we'd be friends so it'll be us trying to build our friendship may be? Come on friends go to eat together all the time
Mingyu: Fair enough then, when will we go ?
You: Um I've work from tomorrow i'd be only free at dinner time 😕 is next week ok? If yes let me know when you're available
Mingyu: oh that's sad:( .. okay will go next week I'll let you know the time.
You: okayy cool ..see you then :)
Mingyu: Yes take care :))
You don't know but he's smiling at his phone right now, just as you are :)
In evening you meet chan he had promised you a meal so he's here at your apartment with lots of take out food and cake and muffins.
His practice was almost a day long so you had told him to just go home and take rest you'll plan to meet some another time . But he improvised the plan and came here.
You take all the food from him happily smiling looking at it..."Woahh you brought so much food"
He gives a toothy grin to you, "well I know you, I knew it'd keep you occupied "
You instantly stopped smiling and blinked at him ,"oh damn you almost had me distracted" you blink at him again.
He knows something is going to happen now, he is on alert..Then you're placing all the food down on the table, going to the couch grabbing a pillow andddddd he is running then, you run behind him.
"You asshole I promised myself i'd beat you up stop right there you bratttt"
He's screaming when you reach him and hit him with the pillow, "Ahhhhh this feels like some deja vu" he's running again and then going behind couch, giving those puppy eyes ..."I'm hungry" blink blink "I'm so tired and I was dancing the whole day, I'm so exhausted already and you're not even letting me eat I said sorry now stopp"
Your mouth hangs open at his antics..you huff..."Should learn emotional blackmailing from you ,go and wash your hands I'll get the plates"
He gives you a big big bright smile and runs to give you a quick hug before going to wash his hands.
You smile at him shaking your head.
You guys eat your food while talking.
He keeps asking about the date, so you tell him that it kinda got ruined because you were nervous so to make it up to Mingyu you decide to take him out for a meal .. he's teasing you about how it's a date when you keep denying it isn't.
"I don't know about you but on our planet here we humans call it a date" he says smugly.
You roll your eyes at him "whatever chan it's a friendly date then."
He shakes his head at you, saying you're impossible.
"Btw do you remember yunjin?"
"yeah the girl you're currently seeing ?"
"Yeah her...I think it's going to work out for me this time." He's smiling softly at his plate like he's thinking about her..."She's nice".
"woah woah look at you all blushing Lee chan"
He laughs," I just- I really hope it works out this time .. I've always wanted a serious relationship and this time it seems like it'd work ...I'm serious and I feel she is too." He says while smiling looking at you.
And honestly you want that for him as well.Cause he looks so happy just talking about her so sincerely. Whatever you thought about him you were never that childish to be jealous and think I wish I was the girl. No , you can't force someone's feelings. If he feels that for someone you'd always root for him. You always pray for your close people's happiness and he's one of them so why wouldn't you want that.
You coo at him.."Aww, I'm really rooting for you Chan you deserve it you deserve every happiness in this world."
He smiles at you, "thank you y/n, I'm also rooting for you" and then he dramatically winks at you. You know exactly what he's saying so you groan and threaten him to stab him with the fork if he doesn't shut up. He laughs at you.
Part 5
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A/n:Hey lovely readers, this is it for today hope you enjoy it💗
Also the female reader isn't someone too deeply hurt or too deeply in love (about chan) she is not the jealous type, she has made her peace with everything so you won't see her feeling all these emotions deeply.
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your-name-is-jim · 9 months
Text
What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 2/2]
Part 1 <- Please read Part 1 first. Part 2 won't make sense otherwise!
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This panel is absolutely AMAZING and you all deserved to see it :D
So, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Laura just proposed.
As you can see, Jim is panicking not sure what to answer, so the first thing he does is calling his two best friends. There are so many things going on here; I'll try to mention everything I care about!
"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."
This is an important part of this comic: apparently, in this story Starfleet isn't encouraging relationships between officers with a different rank. I know it's sort of implied in canon too, but it's not always clear if it's actually against regulations or if it's fine when the ranks are close.
As a K/S shipper, this detail just gives me an in-universe reason why Jim and Spock aren't considering dating each other in this story: a commander can't probably have a relationship with a captain. I mean, we already know from canon TOS that Jim avoids relationships with the members of his crew, so this just adds a layer to a potential forbidden love story between them. Yeah, I know this isn't what this comic is trying to do, but what can I say? Fans don't stop shipping something just because they learn it's not allowed in-universe… if anything, they can find it more exciting! :D
"We could teach at the Academy. Mind you, she laughed at that idea."
Oh, wait. Jim actually talked to Laura about their possible future together! It looks like he's thinking about them as teachers at Starfleet Academy. Hmm… this sounds familiar:
2277 — Accepts appointment to Academy faculty, moves into San Francisco apartment
This is from Kirk's biography in Star Trek official website. Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan, Jim accepts a job at the Academy. We see it at the start of the second movie, after Saavik takes the Kobayashi Maru test.
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Wait, who's the other teacher here? :D
Okay, okay, in that era Jim is an admiral and Spock is a captain, so their ranks are still different, but except for that… They both teach at the Academy. And it's literally what Jim proposed to his love interest Laura in the comic! With my Kirk/Spock goggles on, what I read in that panel is "If Laura and I got married, we could both do this thing that I'm totally going to do with Spock in the future." LOL
Did the comic creators notice the parallel? Probably not. However, we K/S shippers have special skills for finding accidental implications about our ship everywhere, so here it is :)
"Your thoughts, please, Mr. Spock."
I said I had a lot to say about that single panel, so of course I can't skip the last line! A human woman has just proposed to Jim, and what does Jim do? He asks for Spock's opinion. This says a lot about Jim and Spock's friendship, and it's very sweet on Jim's part, but it also makes me think about Jim's love life. What about Jim and Laura's romantic feelings for each other? Does Jim want to spend the rest of his life with her? Perhaps the reason they don't talk about it (not even with Bones!) is that it's implied that Jim loves her and she loves him, even if they never say it. However, I still think it's interesting that Jim's discussion on the matter is mostly "logical".
Anyway, I swear I won't post every single panel of this comic, but Spock's reply is an absolute gem you all must see:
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"I AM SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT OF JAMES T. KIRK."
(dkjflsdjlkdjglk brb losing my mind again)
Ahem. Okay, Spock. Noted. Also, wow, nice make up. Did I say that the art in this comic is great? Good.
"I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."
Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I find interesting his use of "equal status" instead of the more specific "equal rank". Status makes me think less of their official position in Starfleet, and more of how two people actually see each other. It's not just about Laura and Jim being both captains; it's about them seeing each other as equals.
Anyway, Jim jokes about Bones and Spock finally agreeing about something, and the conversation continues.
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Jim's best friends are both encouraging him to marry Laura. In this panel, I zoomed in on Bones because his words are especially interesting. Based on everything we've seen so far, it looks like having a romantic partner when you're in Starfleet is a pain in the ass in general in this comic; however, Bones is pointing out that for the first time, Jim has someone who really understands. Of course, that's because she's a Starfleet captain too.
About Spock, I won't share the entire conversation, but I just want to say that as a K/S shipper who likes to think Spock is secretly in love with Jim in this era, I find his dialogue where he's supporting Jim's relationship with Laura totally reasonable. It's important to remember that this comic takes place close to the end of the five-year mission. We know that Spock is going to run away after that, trying to erase all his emotions in Gol. So, in this specific part of his story, I find pretty in character that he'd tell Jim to find happiness with someone else. That's what he'd do, regardless of his own feelings.
So, Jim knows his two best friends think he should say "yes" to Laura. What happens next?
During a mission, Jim meets his ex Carol Marcus. She is surprised to find out that Jim is considering settling down. This is not completely related to this analysis, so I won't post it, but I found interesting that Carol knows about every single woman Jim dated before he became captain (the only one she doesn't name is Ruth), and she even says "And that woman in 1930, what was her name?" Just… how the hell does she know? LMAO
At least Jim hasn't told her about Miramanee and Rayna (well, technically he doesn't even remember the latter), but seriously, Carol does know a lot about Jim's private life, even if it's clear she doesn't want her or their son to be part of it. (Not really related to this plot, but in case you're confused about the timeline: David is a child in this era; however, he doesn't appear in this story.)
Anyway, this is what she eventually tells him:
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So, I like to think that Carol is genuinely trying to help Jim here, because the spiteful ex girlfriend is another thing I don't really want to see in 2020. I want to think that the creators meant well; however, what happens in the story is that, despite Jim not seeing himself outside the captain's chair, and despite his best friends telling him to marry the captain that is just like him… Jim keeps thinking about Carol's words.
He knows from Starfleet that he's going to be promoted to admiral the moment he reaches Earth. What is interesting here is that Jim could refuse the promotion and be a captain with Laura. This is definitely a different situation from everything else I've seen before. It's obvious to anyone who has watched TOS movies that Jim is not happy as an admiral. He didn't really want to be one. He doesn't want to be one in this comic series either (you can see it explored in Star Trek: Year Five main story). However, thanks to The Motion Picture, we also know that he will accept promotion at the end of his five-year mission. This isn't a canon divergence story: the writers can't really change any major event, so they have to work with what canon offers.
What I find interesting is that in this 2020 comic, Jim finds himself in the opposite situation he is in Gene Roddenberry's The Motion Picture novelization from 1979. In Roddenberry's novel, it's mentioned briefly that Jim starts a relationship on Earth with a vice-admiral, a woman that was basically asked to use her charm to keep Jim grounded. Jim could refuse promotion, but he finds himself lost, without his ship, without Spock, and eventually without Bones. So he tries to convince himself that a life as an admiral with a perfect woman by his side will be good for him (it will not; Jim himself will realize a year later that his lover was an "Enterprise-surrogate").
Now, I understand trying to write something fresher and more modern in this Valentine's Day special, but I confess that I find a little hard to believe that Jim would accept a promotion as admiral if the alternative was keeping both a starship AND a wife. Also, let's not forget that Spock and Bones are both telling him to choose the married captain life. So, while I totally get from a writer's point of view that if you can't change canon, you have to work with what you have, I'm also not sure that Carol reminding Jim that he's always wanted to challenge himself is enough to make him doubt everything.
I guess I can sort of see that as part of a bigger problem: Jim knows he can't be a captain for life; during his first date with Laura, as we saw in Part 1 of my analysis, he talks about it.
"I've been thinking lately about whether I could ever stop being a Starfleet captain. Whether I could ever want to. A friend of mine talks about 'infinite diversity'. That applies to the Federation, too. But here I am, only built for one thing."
So, Jim knows he has probably avoided the subject for too long. Carol is forcing him to think about it. And, more implicitly, we could say Spock and his IDIC philosophy are also making him think, even if it's not what Spock would have expected. After all, Spock told Jim to marry Laura (in the comic), and he'll tell him that being a starship captain is his "first, best destiny" (in The Wrath of Khan).
Anyway, Jim eventually decides to meet Laura and talk to her about his personal concerns. First of all, we find out that the two of them haven't called each other for six weeks. Laura is still waiting for Jim's answer, and she didn't want to call him. If you ask me, their lack of communication is yet another a big clue that perhaps getting married is not a great idea.
Well, now Jim is at least trying to talk to her.
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Aaand that's how she breaks up with him.
I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, in a sense, Jim doesn't say "I decided to be an admiral instead of marrying you", but Laura definitely sees it that way. I think he was genuinely looking for help, but that just proves that Laura isn't the right person for him. Why marrying someone you can't communicate with? They are such a great team as captains, but it looks like that doesn't apply to their relationship. I pointed out other clues in the previous parts, and now we got this. It's interesting to see that Jim in this comic can have a normal conversation about his future with Spock, Bones, and even Carol Marcus, but not with the person he's supposed to build a future with. Unless something changes between them, it can't work out.
Anyway, this isn't the end.
A year later, when Jim is an admiral on Earth, there's a sudden emergency. A miniature black hole appears out of the deep structure of the universe (don't blame me for the science, I'm literally quoting the comic LOL) and it's attracted to Earth gravity. Short story: they're all going to die, but fortunately the Drake (Laura's ship) can cause an anti-matter implosion that will shunt the black hole outside their reality. Unfortunately, that also means the Drake will have to go inside the black hole. Laura evacuates her crew and asks Admiral Kirk to give her the order to proceed. Reluctantly, Jim tells her that he knows she'll do it, and he gives the order.
Now, please appreciate The Motion Picture aesthetic:
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Okay, I know I could have chosen a panel with Jim and Laura, since this is literally their love story, but I did say this analysis was going to be biased, so here is Laura with her two closest friends instead; they would never let her risk her life alone! <3 They are very obviously meant to be a parallel to what Spock and Bones are to Jim, which is very cute to see. Now, Laura, listen to me: I know the three of you have different ranks, but you may die in a few seconds… And I just think that the few times your friends appear in this comic, you have a lot of chemistry with them, sooo maybe you should forget about Jim and just smooch one of them, or both… just saying :)
Ahem. Anyway, after Laura and her girlfriends disappear into the void, there's another timeskip. This time it's 15 years.
Oh, damn.
I said in the premise of this analysis that one of the reasons I decided to read this comic despite shipping Kirk/Spock is that, in my headcanon, Kirk and Spock get together after The Motion Picture. Until this point, this comic hasn't really gone against my headcanon. I can genuinely believe that Jim had another girlfriend during his five-year mission; it's not a big deal. Unfortunately for me, this comic has its last part taking place around The Final Frontier era. Dammit.
Well, it's just one comic. I read until this point; it'd be illogical not to read until the end, right? Nah, it's not logic. It's human curiosity. I know I won't like it, but I still want to see it.
Also, if there's something that I really don't want to see in modern media anymore, is female characters dying just to make male characters suffer. I can accept that in TOS show because it was made in the 1960s, but even TOS movies got better about it! Characters like Saavik and Gillian can have their own lives without having to die for a man's pain. It's not a coincidence that the writers had to kill Spock to make Jim suffer. Without digressing too much, I just wanted to say that K/S bias aside, I went into this comic hoping to read something different from another dead woman for Jim. I'm very glad that, at least about this, the comic creators didn't disappoint me!
So, in this story, it's been 15 years since Laura's disappearance (actually, it should be more, but I'll try not to nitpick, despite being the trekkies' favorite hobby :D). Anyway, the one with the whales The Voyage Home happened, and Jim is not an admiral anymore. He's happy to have a starship again, but he hasn't stopped questioning his life decisions.
We can also see that, 15 years later, he's reading the book Laura liked.
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HOLD IT! WAIT WAIT WAIT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE--
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*inhales deeply*
(Friendly reminder to myself that what is obvious to me may not be obvious to everyone else, so I need to explain. Fine. I'll try.)
The screenshots I posted are from The Wrath of Khan, right after Spock's funeral. What Jim is doing there is reading the end of the book that Spock gave him for his birthday. He's mourning Spock.
In the comic panel, Jim has a new pair of glasses, because it takes place a little later in the timeline. But, except for that…
It's the same scene.
The same fucking scene.
I mean, come on! I can't even post the "they're the same picture" meme, because it's not funny if they're literally the same picture! Even the bookmark is the same!
The comic creators literally took a canon scene about Jim reading Spock's book after Spock is gone, and they redrew it with Jim reading Laura's book after Laura is gone. In a Valentine's Day special. Where Laura is Jim's love interest. They made a romantic scene with Jim and a woman that was originally about Jim and Spock.
(Brb, I'm going to chew a pillow until I calm down.)
So. Well. If you wondered why I thought there was something about Kirk/Spock in this comic… you have your answer. Perhaps the artist didn't think anything about it. I certainly do.
And I guess someone could say, "But Jim is still reading Laura's book 15 years later! That's true love!" Why yes, he's not reading Spock's book 15 years later, because he didn't stay without Spock for 15 years; he risked everything and lost all the most important things in his life to save Spock's soul.
Anyway, back to the comic. Starfleet receives a signal from the edge of Federation space. It's the Drake. Laura and her friends are alive.
Jim and Laura have a reunion after a long separation. Since they're both captains now, Jim thinks they are given a second chance.
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Oh, whoops.
It's her turn now. It looks like being away for 15 years has changed her (as you can expect, honestly), and she's now glad to become an admiral. In this comic, that means Jim can't marry her. So, this is how the story ends:
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So. Um.
This isn't a bad ending, but I also wouldn't exactly call it a happy ending. It's certainly not a happily ever after story. I'd call it open, maybe hopeful? Honestly, pretty much what I'd expect from a love story between an original character and Jim, so I can't say the writing is disappointing about that.
On the other hand, I can't personally imagine middle-aged Jim being so eager to start a romance again with someone he hasn't seen in 15 years who broke up with him 16 years ago. Perhaps he felt guilty about Laura's disappearance because if he had married her, they would have been part of a colonization fleet somewhere else and the incident wouldn't have happened the same way? Maybe. Personally, I would have found more believable an ending where Jim asks her to have dinner together or go for a walk, and then something romantic happening as they get to know each other again. But I can see why the creators wanted to bring up the marriage proposal again, just to close the circle. The comic is just 32 pages, so they did what they could.
"Unless there's someone else." "Not so much. I've been really busy."
Busy with what? Oh, right: Spock's death, Spock's body on Genesis, Spock's rebirth on Vulcan, the time travel (okay, that one wasn't 100% Spock-related), Spock's brother… Honestly, just say there's been a lot of Spock in your life, Jim, because that's the truth :)
On a more serious note, I guess that dialogue could mean that Jim has someone, but "he's been too busy" to do anything serious with them. However, as a K/S monoshipper I don't really like the idea of Jim being in an open relationship with Spock, so Jim's character in the entire scene in the end is just a big NOPE for me. Sorry.
That said, I found very interesting that in a few panels they show very clearly the "captain" rank on Jim and Laura's shoulders, to point out that it's the same. They can't be together forever, but they can have fun for a few days as captains. Because of that, I went back to the start of the last timeskip, just to check out something:
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Fascinating.
This is a pretty detailed panel, where you can see the ranks on the shoulders of Jim's friends; the colors of their pins are also pretty good, close to the ones in the movies… except for Spock's.
Oh, please. Did you really expect me not to pay attention to this? :)
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Captain Kirk and Captain Spock.
And unlike Laura, this is what they are until the end! The end of a very long life! Generations? What's Generations? Spock will eventually become an ambassador, but that's just a different job. How did Spock himself put it earlier in this comic?
"I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk. And I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."
Did the comic creators just play themselves? I don't know, I'm quoting their own story here! LOL
And what about Jim's words from the same scene? :D
"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."
Partners. Of equal rank. Working together.
That's literally what Kirk and Spock are since the end of The Voyage Home! Without an expiration date!
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The comic creators made a big deal in their universe about relationships being better between two captains, and how good Jim and Laura may have been for each other if they had married as captains; and now they can't have their happily ever after because Laura is going to be an admiral… But even if the comic tries to hide it, we know there is a captain in Jim's life. And to make things better, Jim lost his admiral rank to bring him back. Listen, I'm a huge Old Married Kirk/Spock fan, so there's no way anything can make me forget that in the last TOS movies they're both captains. And there's no way I can forget that Jim risked his entire career (and everything else!) for Spock, and that's literally why he's not an admiral anymore.
This is almost ironic in this Valentine's Day comic. If it hadn't been for Spock, Jim would have still been an admiral, and he could have married Laura. Whoops. Too bad.
Speaking of admirals, I didn't notice it at first, but there's also something about this line Laura says in the last panel I posted…
"And don't you dare 'Admiral' me."
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Ah, yes, a typical thing you tell someone you're planning to have sex with. Right, Laura? Agreed :)
Honestly, at this point I should just stop checking this comic, because I wonder if I'd just end up finding a Kirk/Spock version of every Kirk/Laura Rhone line LOL
By the way, I have other thoughts to share now that the story is over, but there's one more thing first. Do you remember the last panels of the comic? Middle-aged Jim and Laura kiss; END.
Okay. After that, the comic has a picture of the cover, with Jim and Laura kissing when they're younger.
And then it has this:
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dklsfjlskjflskjlksjlkdlkgjdlfgsnfjekniuwanf LISTEN, HOW--
Just how am I even supposed to say anything that makes sense about this…??? I'm just… I can't…
Okay. So. We're talking about a Valentine's Day comic. It makes sense for it to include a cute Valentine card. I also get that Spock's iconic line has become so mainstream that it can be quoted out of context. And you can make parodies.
But… But… A Star Trek TOS fan can't really forget the original context of "I have been and always shall be your friend"? Someone could just not think about it, I guess… But, well, I know that at least I can't forget that this is literally Spock's line to Jim rewritten in a romantic Valentine's Day version. I can't possibly NOT think about it!
And I know it's very possible that the people who worked on the comic story weren't even aware of this extra, but the fact that I'm seeing this after reading about Jim Kirk's romance without happily ever after… Jim kisses a woman he can't stay with forever, and then there's Spock's "I have been and always shall be your Valentine". It's just so fucking funny. I can't. If I was feeling a little down after seeing middle-aged Jim wanting to marry Laura, now I'm laughing again. Thanks, Spock's silly Valentine card. I needed it! :D
Anyway, what did I say about this comic taking things originally created for Kirk and Spock's relationship and making them romantic when they're not about them? I can believe that sometimes it's a coincidence, but this card? Please… In a sense, this is the perfect ending.
---
Conclusions.
I started this comic with a question: in 2020, how do you write a story about TOS Kirk falling in love? I wanted to see this attempt. Overall, I think the creators did what they could. Laura is different from every other woman in Jim's life; they didn't kill her off, and they also didn't force a happy ending. I think they did a good job with the canon limitations they had, especially in 32 pages.
Do I believe that Laura could have been a good match for Jim in different circumstances?
As a temporary girlfriend? Yes.
As a lifelong partner? No.
Of course, I'm aware my answer is biased, but I can try to be a little more "logical" about it.
First of all, I think that the comic itself supports my interpretation: of course, like in every story, different people are going to see different things; however, as I already pointed out, Jim and Laura never say that they love each other, and before the marriage proposal their relationship is pretty casual.
In The Original Series, Jim isn't lucky when it comes to romance because the women he falls in love with can't really understand his nature as a space explorer. Sometimes they can, like in Carol's case, and that's why they break up with him. Laura is the opposite, because she's just like Jim. But here is the thing: I think Laura is too much like him.
What would have happened if Jim had accepted to marry her at the end of the five-year mission? They would have been both captains. On different ships, though. Sure, they could have been part of the same colonization fleet, as Jim says in the comic, and maybe it would have worked for a while. However, would they really have seen each other as much as Jim needs?
I don't know about Laura, but we see multiple times in canon that behind his mask as a starship captain, Jim is definitely more lonely than what someone may think.
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First of all, don't get me wrong: in these screenshots from The Naked Time, Jim is single, so of course his attraction to Janice Rand is related to that. It's not the same situation he'd be in if he were married to Laura. Early in the series, he has thoughts about his yeoman exactly because he doesn't have anyone else. Contrary to his fame as a womanizer, TOS Jim in canon always has one woman at a time in his mind, never more.
So, why am I sharing those lines? To show that when Jim is always inside the Enterprise, he does feel lonely. He needs a romantic partner's physical touch. However, we also know that Jim does not want a relationship with one of his subordinates, so Janice Rand and the rest of his crew are off limits.
Laura is good for him because she's part of Starfleet, and not a subordinate. But is that really enough? From what I've seen in the comic, no. At the end of the day, it looks to me that Jim and Laura don't really know how to plan a future together. Perhaps it's because they're so similar, but they don't really think of themselves as a couple, especially Laura. There's Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Laura Rhone; they both love their ships, so they should get married? That's not how it works.
Their relationship is casual. Jim doesn't want to define it. Are they friends with benefits? Are they in an open relationship? Either way, when Laura decides to marry him, she asks around if Jim has someone else, and only after that she asks him. Jim, on the other hand, doesn't talk to her for six weeks after her proposal. He talks to Spock and Bones immediately, but not to her. He even talks to Carol first.
Then, when Jim finally tries to talk to her about his problems, she doesn't listen. Their lack of communication is the cause of their break up.
16 years later, what we see is even worse. It's obvious that Laura has just different priorities. Maybe it's because of what happened to her lost in space, but I'm not sure. If they had married at the end of the five-year mission, would have Laura always refused a promotion to admiral? Would she have tried to get a promotion with Jim? Based on what we see in this comic, it doesn't look likely to me.
Now, as I said, different people are going to see different things, so I'm sure that someone really invested in this romance can imagine that Jim and Laura are really meant to be, and they can get their happy ending after their retirement, or in other ways. However, I admit that Jim and Laura's huge communication issues make hard to me to picture a long happy relationship between them. They should both try to get better, but in those 32 pages there was no hint towards that direction.
There's another thing that makes really hard to find any love interest for Jim as a plausible "happily ever after" option: the stakes. I know that it's just a single comic, so the creators had to focus on a few things; however, I couldn't help but notice that Jim and Laura never really save each other from dangerous situations. They work together as a team, and Jim watches Laura disappearing into the void, but does he do anything about it? Does he try to reach her inside her ship before she disappears into the black hole? Does he try to bring her back from the void? No, he doesn't.
In TOS show and movies, Jim Kirk risks so much for his crew and his ship that a Star Trek fan can't believe that a new woman is the love of his life, unless Jim is willing to do for her everything he does for his friends. And honestly, after The Search for Spock… how can he even come close to do that?
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And it's not just about Jim's actions. There's his language too. At the start of the third movie, Jim refers to Spock as "the noblest part of myself". What could he say about a love interest that is as deep as this?
Let's be honest here: the reason it's so hard to write a story about Jim Kirk's true love is that the real love story for him has already been written. You may not see it romantically, but Kirk and Spock's story is absolutely a love story. And when a character has someone he loves so deeply, it's not easy to convince the audience that he could have someone new to love as deeply. In Jim's case, the combination of his personality and his canon life makes it almost impossible.
Anyway, before I end up not so accidentally turning this analysis into a complete Kirk/Spock ship manifesto, I'm just going to mention one silly thing about the Valentine's Day comic. Please, don't take it too seriously, I'm half-joking :)
So, there are two kiss scenes in the story: one when Jim and Laura start to spend a lot of free time together, and one in the last panel. Well, I can't believe Jim isn't holding Laura's shoulders when he kisses her! That's just the basis of the way Jim kisses women! D:
Different Star Trek characters kiss in different ways; it fits their personalities. And because the rest of my TOS posts are probably too gay for these gifs, I'm dropping them as references here:
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Sorry, but if Jim Kirk doesn't grab someone's shoulders before a kiss, it just kills my immersion! :P
Okay, a little more seriously: Jim doesn't always kiss women the same way; however, his "shoulder grab" is common enough that you definitely notice it if you pay attention. Because of that, I think it would have been nice to include it in the Valentine's Day comic.
After reading this comic, what kind of person would I consider perfect for Jim?
Well, my answer is obvious. However, I'll try to elaborate.
First of all, this story definitely convinced me even more that Jim can only be really happy with another Starfleet officer (or at least someone who's been deeply involved with Starfleet). He also needs someone who understands him as a space explorer, without trying to keep him grounded. And someone very smart, of course. These are all traits Laura has. But they're just the basis.
I don't think Jim needs someone in command of their own ship as a lifelong partner. As I said before, I can't really imagine it working out. Another starship captain would have their own goals and their own ambitions; that doesn't mean Jim shouldn't marry someone with specific plans for their own career, but I think these plans should keep the two of them close, not on different ships. Jim needs his partner physically at his side; if he could be happy in a long-distance relationship, I believe we would have seen at least one working out in canon. But it's never the case. Working on different starships from the same fleet would be a little better, but in my opinion not enough, unless it's for a short period of time.
And there's also the matter of his partner's personality. Jim is a natural leader; that's why he's so good at his job. I don't think he needs a similar kind of leader as romantic partner. This is just my personal opinion, but I believe they would just fight about everything they disagree about. I think he needs someone calmer in his life, not someone who'd encourage emotional outbursts.
More importantly, he absolutely needs someone he can communicate with. If he can't talk to his partner about everything important, they're not the right person for him. That doesn't mean they can't have disagreements or miscommunication issues, of course, but they shouldn't happen all the time, and Jim and his partner should be able to talk about them and make up.
In conclusion: someone at his side on his ship, smart, calm, trustworthy :)
Now, I know what some of you are thinking about: what about the "no relationships with subordinates" personal rule Jim has? How can Jim be in a relationship with Spock (or anyone else on the Enterprise) if he's everyone's superior officer? Well, first of all, I already said that after The Voyage Home, Jim and Spock are both captains. And before that… I think that Spock in the comic phrased it the right way. Jim can find his happiness with someone of "equal status". I think it's pretty clear, in my opinion, that Janice Rand and Spock aren't the same kind of subordinates to Jim. Just think about it: which members of the Enterprise call their captain "Jim"? Bones, Spock and (occasionally) Scotty. These are the three people I believe are "equals" in private to Jim, no matter their ranks when they're on duty. Because of that, a relationship between Jim and Spock could work pretty well.
By the way, another thing the Valentine's Day comic made me think about is that in TOS movies, Jim sort of does with Spock pretty much everything he does with Laura in this story. Not the same way, of course, but does it matter? Spock is his own person, he's not Jim's copy. That doesn't mean he can't indulge Jim, have fun himself… and try to stop Jim from doing dangerous things "for fun", as an old spouse would :)
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Okay, perhaps throwing each other into the water doesn't count as dancing, but it's so much better :D
In conclusion, this is the way I can read the Valentine's Day comic as a Kirk/Spock shipper:
Jim mentions Spock on his first date with a woman.
Jim questions his life choices as he thinks about Spock and IDIC philosophy.
Jim does with Laura everything we see him doing in TOS show, except for playing chess (just the thing he does with Spock).
Jim says Laura and him are a good team in Starfleet because they had a lot of sex (is that true about other people he works well with??)
There haven't been many ladies or gentlemen in Jim's life because he's busy (not because he's not into men, apparently).
"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together." Good for your future with Spock, Jim!
If Jim and Laura got married, they could both teach at Starfleet Academy, something Jim is totally going to do with Spock someday.
Mister "I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk" Spock.
Also, Mister "I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness" Spock, which is actual foreshadowing of his own future status with Jim.
Hey, look at Jim reading a book that reminds him of his lost love! I wonder where I've seen LITERALLY THE SAME PICTURE???
"Don't 'Admiral' me". This is totally not similar to what Jim tells Spock in The Voyage Home, of course.
Hey, we're both captains now! Just for a few days, but isn't that great? I wonder if anyone else is a captain now, and forever? :D
"I have been and always shall be your Valentine". Totally not a Kirk/Spock line, I don't know what you're talking about! :)
Okay, okay, that's all.
As a Kirk/Spock shipper, I won't deny that I'm a little jealous of this Valentine's Day special comic, because I wish we could get something with amazing art like this where Jim is in love with Spock. On the other hand, Star Trek: Year Five comic series has a few scenes about Jim & Spock's friendship that I really liked. Platonic, sure, but good enough for my K/S goggles!
Thank you so much for reading this post until the end! I hope you enjoyed my analysis! Live long and prosper!
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fanfic-lover-girl · 9 months
Note
Sorry but how was Aang “Barely Competent” in Firebending?
It Took Zuko until season 2 to get anywhere near Aang’s level and Aang’s been training for a month while Zuko’s been training for years. Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that it’s clear Aang is the better Firebender.
Zuko can only make 2 fire blasts at the same time. Aang? 3 without avatar state. Zuko took years to get more than smoke. Aang? Took a day.
Iroh admits Zuko was still at Basic Level in Firebending during The First episode. Zuko on Aang’s Firebending? Admits that redirecting Lightning was the last thing that he wants to teach. Considering Zuko’s and Aang’s battles, Iroh and Zuko were likely right about their respective pupils skills.
Hi anon. I regretted that reblog like 5mins after posting. Would you be happy if I just said you can believe what you want and call it a day??
Me neither I suppose. Sigh. I'll try to convey my thought process when I made that post. First, let me address your points.
how was Aang “Barely Competent” in Firebending
Aang trained with fire the least. Of course, with more time, Aang would master it but by the end of the show, Zuko is still better at firebending by virtue of time/experience.
It Took Zuko until season 2 to get anywhere near Aang’s level and Aang’s been training for a month while Zuko’s been training for years. Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that it’s clear Aang is the better Firebender.
Just to clarify, you are saying Aang at the end of the show is on par with season 2 Zuko? I don't think you can objectively say that. We don't see Aang using firebending seriously in a fight until the finale. And if I correctly recall the fight against Ozai, fire was not his main element. I think he used air and earth the most in that fight. It would have been cool to see fire being used more by him given the power boost of the comet though. And even if season 2 Zuko was on the same level as season 3 Aang, you need to consider that Aang was taught the true way of firebending from the get-go (well there was Jeong-Jeong of course but that was hardly serious training). Being a master is about how many times you failed and how much you learned from those failures. With Zuko's experience, he will always have an understanding of firebending that Aang will lack. My guy Zuko has failed A LOT.
Zuko took years to get more than smoke.
Huh?? Is this meant to be a joke?? Was this said in a comic?? If so, those are hardly canon to me.
Iroh admits Zuko was still at Basic Level in Firebending during The First episode.
Well, Zuko must have advanced quickly anon! With the basics, he was able to hold his own against Zhao (whom Iroh claimed to be a master) twice. He beat Zhao in the agni kai too. Zuko was able to keep up with Zhao in the Northern Water Tribe when Zuko was not at his best. Considering Katara almost murdered him and he still had injuries from his ship's explosion. Zuko is able to fight against Earth kingdom soldiers and fight the Rough Rhinos. Zuko has demonstrated numerous times that he is an above-average firebender.
And that was just season 1! Zuko has changed so much since season 1. Zuko was at the basics because Iroh was practically trying to reteach Zuko the fundamentals! Also, Zuko was gravely injured. I can only believe that Zuko had to relearn how to fight with limited vision and dealing with all that emotional turmoil.
Zuko on Aang’s Firebending? Admits that redirecting Lightning was the last thing that he wants to teach.
Once again, Zuko was on a limited time schedule. He was basically giving Aang a crash course. It's almost like a student learning the most important topic while they cram for the exam the next day. Even if Zuko had other things to teach Aang, redirecting lightning is way more important for Aang's survival. If Zuko was truly able to teach Aang everything in a few weeks, it paints firebending as an inferior bending style. Aang even admits in the finale that he needs more time to master firebending. He was planning to skip the comet because he was not ready. I don't believe in the opinion that students can't become better than their masters. But Aang was still learning by the end of season 3. Just being Aang's teacher gives Zuko an advantage in a fight.
Other small points:
Fire is not Aang's native element. Aang is always most comfortable with air. Aang does not dedicate the same effort Katara, Toph and Zuko do to their native elements. Aang was the better waterbender in season 1 (at least when it came to learning new techniques) but Katara was the one who self-taught herself those techniques. Even though as the avatar he should have been working harder than Katara to master waterbending, she overtakes him by a mile by the end of season 1. Aang and Katara were classmates. If anything Aang should be teaching Katara given he was able to start classes before her due to Pakku's sexism. She should not have to teach him anything. All this to say is that Zuko will have a greater passion for firebending compared to Aang. Zuko does not have to worry about other elements and Aang proves that raw talent is meaningless unless it is backed by dedication and hard work.
Firebending has a stronger symbolism for Zuko compared to Aang. Fire was a roadblock in Aang's avatar journey but firebending literally shaped Zuko's character and played a huge role in his redemption arc. A lot of his family issues revolve around Azula being a better firebender than him. When Zuko redeems himself, he has to relearn the meaning of firebending symbolizing the pivoting of his character. Learning the true meaning of fire is also important for him to lead the fire nation into a better future as the new firelord. Firebending has so much more thematic importance for Zuko than Aang.
By the end of the show, Zuko is able to rival Azula in combat. The idea of season 3 Aang lasting long in a firebending match with Azula is hilarious to me. Azula was able to give Aang a run for his money with the help of his more competent elements. Imagine Aang fighting Azula in the last agni kai. The girl would kill him.
Those are my main thoughts. I think Zuko is a better firebender. If anything else comes to mind, I will add to this but I am not in the mood to have a long reblog debate about it. If you still think Aang is the better firebender, I really don't care. I refuse to be stressed out on Tumblr again.
All of Aang's teachers are better benders in their own respective elements than Aang. That's just how it is. LOK gave me no indications that Aang became better than Zuko or the others either.
I will say that the gap in ability between Aang and Zuko is the smallest compared to Toph and Katara though. Aang may be able to catch up with Zuko (especially if Zuko never learnt lightning) if he works hard at it but there is no way in hell Aang will ever match Toph and Katara.
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ikroah · 9 months
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I've given everything I have, didn't know I'd run up such a tab, Oh, Lord, ain't the reapin' ever done? —“Ain’t the Reapin’ Ever Done,” Eddie Noack (1972)
It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ #25 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding IV
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Read IKROAH on Archive of Our Own
Notes / Original Pencils / Transcript:
Notes:
At long last! As I've mentioned a few times, this issue got...delayed because I spent 2023 getting divorced, falling in love again, going outside, touching grass, laughing, playing, et cetera. But even if you toss all that aside this issue would still have been a doozy because I've been wanting to try an issue in this artstyle, and with a much large page size, for...well, for over a year now, ha. The thumbnails for this issue are nearly a whole year old!
Usually I have a lot of fun commentary about how a script changes over the course of working on an issue, or how the production panned out, but the making of this issue has been stretched over such a long time that I can't even begin to really describe it. Lemme just show you the original pencils so we can get out of here and move onto the next one, which will hopefully take far less than the time it takes to carry a pregnancy to term.
Oh, actually, there is one thing! If you spotted this happy couple on the first page, then check out @memepipboy's comics too.
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Also, here's Vulpes in the dead Yamcha pose.
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Which is also about how I feel after going on a bender of productivity last week to get the whole issue colored before it slipped away again.
Original Pencils:
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Transcript:
EXT. NEW VEGAS STRIP. A small plaza outside the casinos is flushed with lights and people, all coming and going, even at such a late hour. The crowd is monitored by the Strip's POLICE SECURITRONS. Two people are exiting a casino: ROSE OF SHARON CASSIDY, and
MESSENGER: AGNES SANDS!
AGNES: Oh God, I'm--
AGNES: --wait, are you NCR?
The MESSENGER that has called out AGNES' name is a surly and middle-aged man in uniform.
MESSENGER: Correct, ma'am. I'm a messenger.
AGNES: Courier, huh.
CASS: Hell do you want, boot boy? We're busy.
MESSENGER: Your presence is requested at the embassy on the south side of the Strip.
The exchange has caught the eye of a BYSTANDER READING A NEWSPAPER.
AGNES: You said requested, as opposed to, um, required?
MESSENGER: Yes. I'll be blunt with you, Sands: the incident near Gecko and your subsequent desertion have made you a fugitive of military police since 2269. I'm sure you know that--but this is not an arrest.
MESSENGER: This isn't even about your personal case, necessarily. It's only from chance reports at the Mojave Outpost and Boulder City that intelligence was made aware of your presence here at all. The NCR merely wants to let you know that you--as well as your companion--are persons of interest to us in two of our other open investigations: the Legion raid on Nipton, and recent terrorist attacks on merchants in the area such as Crimson Caravan.*
CAPTION: *Various events of IKROAH #7-16. -Lou.
MESSENGER: There's also some other matters, which are classified.
CASS, at AGNES' side, listens intently. Then she glares at AGNES, who is grimacing but avoiding her eye contact.
MESSENGER: Now, our intelligence officers only want to speak to you, not arrest you. So there should be no cause for alarm or any worry on your part. It's your choice to come to us willingly--and on your own time. But--
AGNES sweats nervously.
MESSENGER: My orders are to make this next part very clear. This is merely the current state of our interest in you and your companion. If your presence does become required, as opposed to merely requested, by the NCR--and it very well may--
MESSENGER: --consider this a nice, friendly notice. I'm here because the NCR knows where you are. And the NCR wanted you to know that, because it wants you to keep it in mind as you mull over whether--and when--you might be feeling co-operative. That is all. We'll be in touch, Miss Sands.
The MESSENGER departs. The BYSTANDER READING A NEWSPAPER observed the entire exchange. The moment that the MESSENGER is gone, he speaks:
BYSTANDER: Ahh...I must admit, it does make me glad when people discuss my work.
AGNES: W-what?
CASS: Pardon?
BYSTANDER: And it was fortunate, as it turns out, that you were spared that night in Nipton.
AGNES: Oh...oh no--
CASS: --YOU?
BYSTANDER: Very fortunate indeed--
The BYSTANDER grins.
BYSTANDER: --that you were spared from the burning tires, spared from the teeth of the dogs, spared even from the cross and stake--all of this, there, was the finest work yet of VULPES INCULTA--against the profligates of the west, and for the glory and the might of CAESAR'S LEGION.*
CAPTION:*IKROAH #9. -Lou.
AGNES and CASS are transfixed where they stand, taken aback by the reveal. CASS scowls while AGNES squirms with terror. She remembers:
The raging fires and the horror show of NIPTON. Crucified bodies and dogs to eat the corpses.
VULPES: During our talk in Nipton, I admittedly became quite curious about you, Agnes. You had intrigued me for some reason, and I wanted to know what it was. Only later did I finally place it.
Her hands up in front of her face, a futile barrier between herself and three men. Benny. His gun, pointed at her, shining in the light from the moon and the lantern.
VULPES: A tabloid story from the news on the radio. A courier shot in the head near Goodsprings Cemetery.
The SECURITRON with the cowboy face, VICTOR, carried her out of her grave. Or so she was told.
VULPES: --who miraculously returned from the grave. It was you.
There were three men. Two besides Benny. She found them later, one was dead and the other had two more with him.
VULPES: It was also you, as I would later discover...who slaughtered that pack of Great Khans in Boulder City. Clearly no ordinary courier.
VULPES: Why, even now, you assassinate the leader of the Chairmen in his own casino--in his own bedroom, no less. Very impressive.
AGNES: But how did you--
VULPES: Know? From one saboteur to another, I do have to commend you, Agnes. You're quite covert...for someone who had no reason to realize that she was already being watched, that is. Just as we have been watching Benny, the dearly departed.
VULPES grins wider.
VULPES: My network of frumentarii have detected something of a conspiracy in Vegas...something about a certain piece of platinum, I hear. Which reminds me--the mail has gotten so unreliable lately, don't you think?
AGNES is visibly panicked as VULPES continues.
VULPES: The NCR'S interest in you is not misplaced, Agnes Sands, given your recent exploits.
CASS is suddenly going down the casino steps--
VULPES: But I doubt that they are as quite aware of the bigger picture as--
--and raising her fist, and--
VULPES: the--
--punching VULPES in the face.
SFX: WHAM!
VULPES is flung to the ground, his nose bloodied. One of his teeth have been knocked clean from his mouth. He stares upward, in disbelief, up at the furious woman who's laid him out.
VULPES: Ah...yes. Rose of Sharon Cassidy. I've--
PTOOEY. A wad of spit splats against VULPES' cheek. CASS points a finger at him as he shuffles back onto his feet.
CASS: Get my name out of your mouth right now. I'm not afraid of you. You just piss me off. And unless you get lost I'll deck you so hard that you forget my name. Hopefully how to form complete sentences, too.
CASS: I think we've heard enough, you goddamn dogfucker, and whatever you're selling, we don't fucking want any.
VULPES: Ah...so no less impudent than last time, despite...well.
VULPES wipes the blood from his face with the back of his hand, muttering from behind his palm in LATIN.
VULPES: Sī cognōscere nōn vīs canis senex tum nēquam praeter futuendum eris.
VULPES reaches his bloody hand toward his dislodged hat.
VULPES: Agnes--the Legion has a particular use for you, a use which comes with certain courtesies that are not extended to your companion.
VULPES: ...she would do well to keep this in mind.
VULPES returns his hat to his head. AGNES has rejoined CASS at the base of the steps.
AGNES: "Use?" What use? I don't have anything--I mean, I'm not--whatever you--whatever the Legion wants with me, I don't know anything. About this, or about Benny. If you want the chip, I--
VULPES: Agnes, Agnes--you're a terrible liar. Or else just terribly naive.
VULPES turns to leave.
VULPES: If the NCR is interested in you, and they are, then seizing you for ourselves is certainly useful enough on its own. But truthfully, this isn't about the NCR. The Legion is interested in you--I am interested in you--because Mr. House is interested in you. You and that chip.
AGNES: Mr. House!? But I...no, no, I just thought the chip--
VULPES: Vale, courier. And vale, Rose of Sharon Cassidy. And be safe in your travels, if you can help it--you never know when somebody might be watching.
As VULPES departs, a SECURITRON approaches behind AGNES and CASS, casting a shadow over the both of them.
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sciderman · 1 month
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Sci ngl i assumed you were a cis gay dude back when i was obsessively reading your spiderpool stuff as a teenager. I’m a gay trans man and your comics always felt like a warm hug, truly my comfort doom scrolling — so it’s kinda nice to find out we’re more similar than id thought
bless you anon!! it's a pleasure having you, and i'm so, so glad my comics can be a cozy comfort for you!! kissing you so sweetly
you know, it's kind of funny, i've had an overwhelming response of people who've said they've just assumed i was male by the vibes i radiate and i'm not entirely sure what it means. i'm know you all mean it very reaffirmingly but it leaves me with a lot of questions. like, questions that i want to do further research into.
is there a masculine dialect? like how there are regional dialects? is that a thing? i kind of want to study this now. can you tell someone's gender by the way they talk like you can tell where they're from? that is so cool if it's true. how do you type like a man. what should i look for? i don't know if i've ever assumed someone's gender by the way they type. i just look at their bio and it usually says. and i kind of don't think about it when i type. i type like me. but – i think maybe i pick up the way that i talk from the media i consume (comic books) which is kind of overpoweringly male. overpoweringly populated by male characters, and written by men, y'know.
i think the way i type here on @sciderman is probably softer and more femme than the way i write on the ask-blog. on the blog when i'm answering things as Mod i kind of intentionally mimic the tone-of-voice that marvel editors use. that's an intentional choice. so - when you read what i write here it's closer to my real voice, but over on ask-spiderpool i'm putting on an act. i try to sound like a marvel editor. i call you all True Believers! it's all a persona. i think one of the things that's my strength in writing is falling into voices - i think i could be an excellent ghostwriter, if i needed to be. so very crafty at mimicry.
as a kid i always, always always would mimic the characters i liked from the movies we watched whenever i came out of the cinema. i remember doing that all the time. and it was always boys. (except frenchie from grease. she was my one female gender icon. god everyone hated me for that one. i loved doing the voice. wanted to be her so bad. wanted the pink hair. everything.)
you know,, even now The Very First thing anyone asks me when they meet me is where my accent is from, because nobody believes i'm native to london. it happened today (twice). the way i talk is a little weird. my response,, off the bat,, it's because i watched too many cartoons growing up. so,, i guess maybe i idolised too many masculine role models, and probably didn't have enough female role models. i liked the boy movies better than the girl ones. i spent more time with my dad than i did with my mom. my mom wasn't a good role model. dad says that's probably why i didn't want to be a woman. i didn't have a good role model. (sorry mom). (he's right). all kinds of variables here. i kind of want to do research into it. also i should talk to a therapist.
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justbeingbuck · 1 year
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memories
Request: adam warlock x fem avengers!reader, maybe she stats with the guardians after endgame and the avengers call them to earth to help fight (maybe a comic villain if your familiar) and during the events of vol 3 reader becomes close w adam as she has similar powers to him (like captain marvels) and he goes with them to earth, maybe she is coose to peter parker and she introduces them sorry this js my first request lolll
A/N: I hope you like it!
Ao3: here!
Pairing: adam warlock x reader
Rating/Warning(s): none, fluff
Words: 515
Summary: you and adam bond. You also show him around avengers compound
After the battle against Thanos, you had decided to stay with the Guardians. You and the Avengers figured that an Avenger with Guardians was a good idea and a great way to stay in contact. It had been a couple of years since your stay with the Guardians began. There were days when you missed home, but it was nice to help people, especially after the blip. Then, Rocket was attacked and nearly died but you and the Guardians saved him. After that, Rocket became the new leader and the Guardians evolved just like the Avengers. It warmed your heart to see them evolve into a new and possibly bigger force.
Rocket had tasked you with teaching Adam how to be a Guardian. Rocket figured you were the best for this since you two had similar powers and you were an Avenger. But you two had fallen for each other. It didn’t help that you two spent a lot of time together. Adam was sweet and attentive, and you thought the world of him. Adam would ask you about Earth and your customs. You two would talk for hours, exchanging how things were handled on your two vastly different worlds. You made Earth sound dreamy, and he wanted to visit it with you. He loved how you described things to him, even the mundane from back home on Earth.
So, when you got the call from back home that they needed help, you asked Adam to come with you. He eagerly agreed to go with you. He was excited to see your home planet and see everything. While he knew that you two were going there on a mission, he still wanted to sight see with you.
Luckily, it was a simple mission on Earth. You had lied to Rocket about needing more time, though. You wanted to show Adam some things and he was more than happy to follow you.
You showed him your favorite views, monuments, and mundane things. You even introduced him to the food you told him about. You even showed him the Avengers compound. Well, you tried to show him the compound. It had been rebuilt and the layout was slightly different than what you remembered. So, you two got to explore a new Avengers compound together.
He loved watching you remember fond memories and how you spoke of your fellow Avengers. To him, it sounded like they were family to you and that they meant so much more. Tears had formed in your eyes, and you wiped them away.
“Sorry, I just miss them,” you said. He smiled a set a hand on your cheek before wiping away a tear with his thumb.
“I understand,” he said.
You two held a gaze and glanced at each other’s lips. Then, you both slowly started to lean in, and Adam closed the gap between you two. Your lips moved in sync with his. It was as if you two had kissed before but there were so many fireworks as your lips met his again and again. You never wanted to stop.
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nights-at-crystarium · 7 months
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Fragments - episodes 27-30 author notes
You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!
I make these notes as I work on an episode, however, people have been so attentive and observant with their comments that I started a tag fragments feedback where we dive even deeper into themes and interactions in the comic. These comments are a blessing, often pointing out things that my own brain doesn't register.
Obligatory ShB spoiler warning.
Episode 27 begins with a chat about the original weapons that are merely a stylish-looking convenience for them ic and for me ooc, so that I don't have to draw them lugging their weapons around.
Essentia's just a name for Vivi's spear, not like the whole concept. I introduced it around the beginning of the ShB arc. Alisaie's weapons have no name yet, there's a possibility to do something cute referring to twins.. I shall think of it :3c
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Look at this child being all smug for having been able to help recreating something previously thought unique, and, um, flirting.. In her own way.....
Vivi be like, sigh, "ah, back on her bs already... Better indulge her while she's still in a nice mood".
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Alisaie's left arm's stronger than both Vivi's. As a dragoon he doesn't only use magic to amplify his jumps, if it works on legs, why not extend it to arms as well? Not unlike what monks do, minus the actual physical training. Basically he cheats with magic in real fights. A casual friendly duel isn't worth expending aether, so he only relies on his actual strength :'>
He also can't do friendly duels because his Echo only telegraphs hostile attacks. A friend would stop before his blade cuts him, so Vivi's kinda blind, only relying on his own average skill. A legendary hero that's no fun to spar with if you're remotely competent.
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..Which has no negative effect on Exarch's fanboyism.
Several people said they look forward to said sparring session, and I felt like I failed them because I had no plans to follow through with this. Then I thought some more.. Do we mean every little thing we say or think? Sometimes it's just distracted nonsense. If every action and word were hooks/setups for the story, it'd feel artificial. This's just my opinion, but some scenes have to have idle chatter and musings for realism.
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Vivi and Alphi look like door-to-door salesmen, yet the Chais are buying multiples of whatever they sell.
This's a looooooongg post, under the cut we go~
A random thing that thematically belongs here, but didn't make it in the comic: Vivi ended up being more freaked out by Eulmore than Amh Araeng.
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Feo "privacy breach" Ul :> They greet each other so casually that it's clear, this's far from being the first time.
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One of my personal fav panels so far. People loved the "crystal mystel" so much but I can't take credit for that! My brain's full of soup that's a mix of everything canon and my own generous additions, but I THINK one of the pixies calls him that ingame, sometime post 5.0.
You probably didn't know that you needed more Exarch and Feo Ul interactions till now, I've got you covered. Their scenes will take time to trickle in, but they EXIST and go back as far as their first meeting.
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Exactly what happened.
One more episode where Vivi doesn't utter a word, but it doesn't feel like that.
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Tank!Exarch fanclub, +1 member. Vivi's pleasantly surprised by the sudden shift in Exarch's demeanor. He genuinely admires him here. "Lead me anywhere daddy".
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Ready for a guild wars 1 (one!) joke? No? I'm making it anyway. Lyna casts gaze of contempt (effect: removes enchantments on target foe)
She's such a good daughter with great intuition. She feels uneasy about this way before Vivi feels anything at all. He just looks. Perceives. He has eyes, dammit! And Exarch has those stupid sexy sandals and shiny crystal arm and stylish flowy robes and he's generally kinda cool? It's official, it has begun: Vivi's attracted to Exarch here.
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Zooming in super close to bring your attention to his thigh gap <w<
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A closeup for the hell of it C: His eyes have a natural faint glow that's just there, it doesn't mean anything, like, genuinely.
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Vivi tries to appease Lyna. He has no idea why she keeps glaring at him, probably still not trusting a stranger. He uses his charm as a casual manipulation. Unfortunately, Lyna falls for it. For now.
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As per msq, Exarch's kneeling, not collapsing (although that would've been just as fitting tbh). While still not trusting him too much, Vivi slowly begins to respect a reputable ruler and a skilled fighter, and WHY IS HE KNEELING MY LORD GET UP?! Vivi hates being treated like some sort of a messiah. That pushes him further inside the box of being a mythical figure, and denies his humanity.
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Normal colors and lighting!! For one episode....
The scene on the left isn't meant to feel cozy and inviting, while the right one is. Sickly, cold, washed out colors vs darker and warmer ones. I'm putting a lot of thought into this, just wanted to celebrate it a lil C:
Episodes 28-29 show Vivi and Exarch's ways of handling unexpected personal hostility. Vivi casually whips out a V and a silly grin, while Exarch.....
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He tried, okay?!
A thing on their positioning in this scene that I didn't plan consciously, it just happened: Exarch's framed by the Crystarium, appearing more aligned with it, while the elf pile's surrounded by an idyllic natural frame. Something something about the greenery meaning life, and Exarch looking a bit out of place here.
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This's our first, but not last encounter of an imagination theater :>
The dragons are goofy on purpose. Well, sort of. I can count on one hand the amount of times I drew non-humanoid creatures, and the tone here doesn't demand anything super serious from me. Also it makes sense in-character, Exarch probably never saw a dragon up close.
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Take a good look at this lil shit. I indulged in illustrating his badass moment before pointing the "camera" away for a while. We're heading into the Il Mheg arc that lasts for months and has no cats ;w;
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Vivi's iconic Protagonist Grin >:D
Also, Ryne. Just to keep your expectations grounded: while I personally like her, she has no relevance in this story, and very little screentime. I'm currently having Eden raid brainworms, might write a scene or two related to that, but we're talking many years into the future. Until then, she doesn't do much.
ShB cast's diverse and extremely fun to explore, but if I went on tangents the comic would literally never progress. Gotta be honest, I'm already terrified that some readers might drift away before reaching the wolgraha part of this wolgraha comic. I don't wanna rush OR dilute the main plot too much, if that makes sense. Also, just like in real life, you probably don't form perfect connections with every member of your social circle, some people grow closer than others. Vivi has next to no connection to Minfilia/Ryne, he also stays away from little girls after one of those ended up becoming his lifelong problem *snorts and points at Alisaie*
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Desires, and feasting on them? A dungeon meshi nod? More likely than you think.
Feo Ul, sprawled out on his chest like that, visually resembles a burning heart.
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Emet antithesis :3c
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Imagine loving your pet so much that you let him do this. Feo Ul isn't moved by the physical act AND the joking accusation.
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While seemingly slacking for a dozen episodes, Vivi formed bonds with Feo Ul and Ardbert, and thus secured the future of the two stars. Now he has friends that aren't his coworkers first and foremost, that he genuinely wants to fight for. This's what makes him tick as a hero: a quiet plea of a friend, not even asking him directly, a stark contrast to being dragged around and cried at for help. If Vivi's introduction to an entity (person/group of people) is "they suffer, they need help", he shrugs it off. Everyone suffers and needs help, he can't split into thousands of vivis to please them all.
He's only truly motivated to help, or empathizes with those who he gets to know through other means. Take Ardbert, his strange behavior on the Source, then reintroduction that's confusion and companionable snark, but not wailing for help. And Feo Ul, they hang out with him just because, they're safe.
He may not run off to fight the local Lightwarden this instant, but when he gets around to it, he's earnest for a change.
This's all I have for now, thanks for reading!!
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punkeropercyjackson · 1 month
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If Zutara is a feminist ship then it's absolute bottom of the barrel feminism SORRY like it's so downlow💀Katara's a fem girl with parentification trauma and open softness and Zuko's a masc dude who turned into a Team Dad to heal his inner child and break the cycle of abuse and high up walls so they're already a cisheteronormative ship based off that alone but there's also how while Zuko made up for what how he hurt Katara,his attacks and insults to her were racially motivated and that adds a thick layer of racialized misogyny AND directly goes against Katara's wishes to force Zuko onto her because she fought for a loooong time to break the mold of womanhood should only exist in 'what girls are SUPPOSED to be like' and frankly the emphasis on supposed 'realism' when it comes to girls and Zutara said by the shippers so often has transmisogyny underlaying it,if not then at least bioessentialism,with how cis and exclusive of unconventional girlhood it is and it dosen't help their case that they often feminize Toph when she gets older when in CANON she stayed gnc and ruthlessly talk badly of Aang because he's a boy who's feminine and gets hurt when bullied for it in-universe and he has a fucking right to even if he's cis!!!!They're making fun of him for being himself!'Fragile masculinity' my ass,if you saw a stud or a non-fully transitioned transfem you'd hurl and he thinks Katara's punk girl slay is the hottest shit ever and showed hints of crushing on Toph's butch ass too
But back on topic,this is why i can't stand Zutara man,there's nothing for me to relate to!I'm a punk femme woc like Katara and i headcanon her as trans,bi and autistic like me because i relate to her in some very important ways(though i hc her as transfem while i'm transmasc bigender)and this is also a big part of the appeal of Kataang for me because i'm the girl who had a crush on Aang instead of Zuko Zutara shippers always told you don't exist and i loved Taang because i was rowdy tomboy like Toph but i never had a beef with Kataang,i didn't see anything wrong with it!!!I minded my own damn bussiness and let Katara just vibe instead of making her some evil bitch!And while i'm in love with Zuko now thanks to the comics going into the Gaang's adult years,my canon self-insert ship with him is him and Ty Lee because i'm a super bubbly and optimistic pastel girl who's interests are considered 'stupid/silly/lame' by society and is high maintenance but nice to everybody instead of demanding and it turns out that me as a kid and me now are those ways due to autism and transgenderism!!!!
Zutara does nothing for the woc in me because Katara dosen't look like me since i'm black,i love her and Zuko as bickering found siblings,i have older sister/maternal feelings towards Aang like Zuko does older brother/fatherly ones,i see Mai as a comphet (trans) lesbian but love Maiko because she's weirdgirl rep and Zuko's in love with her and there's also black etchnic subgroups in each nation confirmed in Turf Wars so i don't got anything stopping me from making an Atlasona instead of ruining characters and dynamics!!!!!Zutara is such a less than nothing ship if you're 'not a normal girl' and the fandom's make it beyond crystal clear how they feel about us so that's why i hate it so much in addition to what ass is is!The only thing Z/k's were 'robbed' of is the ability to get a grip,a boyfriend,friends who think they're goddesses platonically like mine do to me and me them and media literacy seeing as Atla's title refers to Aang being the sole survivor of a genocide based off an irl one but they will do everything and anything to remove that out of the context in analysing him and the franchise as a whole
And not to diverge topics again but this is why i'm okay with shaming and mocking Zutara re Natla(and no i don't mean harrasing,i mean og posting)by me and anybody else,they deadass SHOWED PART OF THE AIR NOMAD GENOCIDE and ALSO ADDED 'TOKEN GOOD' FIRE NATION SOLDIERS and it's so beyond fucking racist and disturbing that they're trying to do any gotcha or praise of it involving their military war ship.You's grown and Zuko loves Aang the most anyway,you normie losers
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