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m00nl1ght-sun25 · 1 year

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The burning Fate

Post Seabound/season 15

Warning - Attempted suicide, cursing, past overdosing/drowning (attempt), self harm, implied eating disorder, self gaslighting

Heads up -

- i hc lloyd as Genderfluid, in this their pronouns will be they/them

- Lloyd and brad are dating (brad is two years older then lloyd- so it’s not illegal or smth and like also lloyd is 17) also Brad is this kid who was in like season 1 and he went to darklys with Lloyd :)

- i hc Lloyd and autistic, i kinda hint to it in one part (also im not autistic- but i have autistic friends, and if i do smth wrong ever, pls tell me)

- also im not saying if you have any mental disorder or smth your stupid- just ppl think that, when your rlly not-

- also i have no idea how to comfort- and idk how to write i either- so yea-

Lloyd has been up on top of this building for about an hour. An hour numbly looking down below into the busy street as the darkness surrounds them. Some lights flash into their faces from time to time. But it doesn’t matter to Lloyd, this will be their last few minutes.

Ever since Nya left Lloyd's life has gone back to hell. First of all, Kai and Jay will always be yelling at each other, no matter how loud Lloyd made the music, they could still hear their older brothers yelling at each other. Most of the time it'd just get to the point where it was too much for Lloyd and they just couldn’t hold it anymore and cry, they couldn’t help but get overwhelmed by it all. It’s all their fault though. It’s their fault. They're a horrible leader. Nobody wants a stupid, disabled kid to be their savior.

After nya left the ninja, Lloyd also started to relapse… just like after the sons of garmadon and harumi. They locked themself in their room all the time, never coming out. Not eating, and they would get the extra razor that they have to… hurt themself. They have the scars all over them, not just their wrists. Their thighs, shoulders. Just really anywhere that they can hide it. Where they can hide how hard everything really was for them. They had to hide, they couldn’t be seen as weak. They’re the green ninja, they’re the one who has to protect everyone.

This isn’t the first time they tried to kill themself.. Lloyd thought as they looked over the edge of the tall building. A month after Nya left them to merge with the ocean, they tried to drown themselves, but Kai tried to find them and stopped them before it was too late. They were forced to stay in the mental hospital for a few weeks, it wasn’t because the ninja thought that they were psycho or anything. Just they tried to kill themselves. When they got to be sent back home, they snuck out one night. No word or anything. And just ran away. So they’ve been living with Brad, Gene, and Sally for about 7 months.

The other time Lloyd tried to end it all was after they moved in with brad. They got a lot of pills and just chugged them all down, it worked. But Sally found them passed out on the floor, and called the ambulance before Lloyd actually died. After they were sent home, Brad kept a close eye on his lover.

Lloyds honestly is kinda embarrassed and disappointed in themselves for failing twice to kill themselves. Well… is it them..? because really, they could’ve done it, but then people keep finding them. They should really try to do it when no one is around or anything. But hey… no one is around right now… just five more simple steps.. and all the pain will be over, they’ll no longer feel the stinging sensation in their arms or thighs after this. Because they’ll be gone. Just like everyone always wanted. For the blonde brat , that was Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, to be dead.

Funny thing is right now they're not even fully blonde. They dyed their pink with red tips. It makes them think of valentines though, not going to lie. But does it matter? no. Nothing matters. Everything is all useless. All that matters is that in a few seconds, they’ll be free. Free from being the green ninja, free from being the leader and the reason your team fell apart. Free from destiny. Maybe that’s why they’re still alive. Because destiny needs a puppet to pick sticks at, to try to entertain itself. Fuck destiny, man. Fuck it.

Lloyd lets their mind wander as they take one step closer to the edge, one step closer to death.

They think about when they went to The Wailing Alsps, with Clancee. This snake pirate, who was very familiar and lloyd feels like they’ve seen before. And it wasn’t just because of when the whole thing with chen was going on.. some other time… A time Lloyd can’t put their finger on. But anyways When Lloyd and Clancee went to the wailing alsps and almost died, they thought of kai. How Kai was always there for them, and was like the brother and father Lloyd never had. Lloyd is the one who’s leaving, just like last time. But… this is what Kai wanted… The night Lloyd ran away they and Kai got into a fight… Not Jay and kai. But Lloyd and Kai. It was in the heat of the moment when Kai yelled that he wished he never saved Lloyd from that volcano. Which right after Kai realized what he said to lloyd. But it was too late. The damage was done.

Four more steps…

Three more steps…

Fuck it all. Lloyd thought. Fuck. Destiny can go find some other blonde bitch to do its bidding. In Lloyd's last few seconds they just felt rage. The closer they got to the edge the more they got angry.

The last few years their anger has gotten worse. But it gives Lloyd something to think about. It lets Lloyd actually feel something. Sometimes it’s like they're not angry at all, but the next they’re fuming. Like right now.

Like how right now just the thought of Garmadon makes them want to go smash their “fathers” face into a fucking wall. Or Harumi. Definitely Harumi. She messes everything up and then just goes and dies just like that. At least she’s out of their life. even if they can never stop thinking about her… Or the version of Harumi in The Prime Empire game Lloyd and the other ninjas were trapped in.

Lloyd took a deep breath in through the noise and out the mouth.

Taking another step closer.

Two more steps…

One more step…

Lloyd looks all the way down. Heh… So this is it.. The end of the line. Maybe i’ll get to see my real father.

Just as Lloyd took the last step they swore they heard the door slam open to the top of the building… and some yelling..? But all Lloyd could feel now was the air in their face, the wind messing with their hair. And… It stopped…? did they fall that fast to the ground..?

No…no… No! why.. NononoNO!

They feel a hand gripping tightly on the wrist. A familiar voice yelling for them to stay. A sound that is almost like someone sobbing..?

Lloyd hazily looks up to the person who’s stopping them. Only to see Brad, His eyes red and bloodshot, Tears running down his face as he finally manages to pull Lloyd up. Brad falls to the ground and wraps his arms around his partner. Sobbing and hugging them tightly. Lloyd gets some anger inside of them because Brad stopped them. But they can’t help but just stare blankly as Brad sobs that he almost lost lloyd.

“I-I…”

Lloyd tries to get anything out to brad. But they can’t. They just feel numb again, as Brad holds them.

After a few moments Brad gets it under control and wipes at his eyes. He then stands up and tightly holds Lloyd's hand, it doesn’t hurt. But it doesn’t matter. Brad waits for lloyd to stand up before they say

“I… I love you… I’m sorry.. I’m sorry Lloyd.”

Brad doesn’t seem to know what to say at this moment. I mean… What can you say after you find your partner almost killing themselves…? ‘Why?’ ‘What about me?’ ‘Don’t leave?’ ‘People are going to miss you’ ‘I will miss you’ No… None of it seems right… Brad just stays quiet and looks down at Lloyd, love in his eyes.

He hugs Lloyd again tightly and then lets go. Tightly holding Lloyd's hand.

The door to the top was still open from when Brad came running up here to get to Lloyd before it was too late.

Brad closed the door and walked down the stairs with lloyd.

Lloyd just blocked everything out and thought… They were almost free.. Free from it all. But they couldn’t have it. They can’t die apparently. Damn. Destiny really doesn't want Lloyd to die.

Fuck.

#ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #brad tudabone #greenflowershipping #forgivenshipping #greenflower #postseabound #postseason15 #autistic lloyd #ninjago fanfiction #my fic #tw attempted suicide #tw #depressed lloyd garmadon #writer is dyslexic #pls dont bully me

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hargrove-mayfields · 11 months

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Disabled Billy and Steve Week

Day 3- special interests

My prompt: Harringrove- Shared Special Interest

-•-•-•-

One month. Billy and Steve have been living together for one month.

In that time they’ve discovered a lot about each other, things they never expected. Things like Steve hanging his jackets and sweaters in rainbow order in the closet, or Billy placing the cups in diagonal lines in the cabinet.

Only one thing had caused a disagreement, and that was about furniture covers. Billy’s ocd wanted them to avoid touching “sofa stank ass,” but Steve’s autism hated the texture of sitting on fabric on top of fabric.

Their solution was two separate chairs instead of one couch. Close enough to hold hands constantly, but separate enough to enforce their individual boundaries. Sure, it means cuddles are limited to their bed, but Billy’s on bedrest with full body aches and bouts of fibro fog usually once a week, so it works.

However, by far the most exciting tidbit they’d discovered was that they share a special interest. Games.

Video games, board games, sports- they’ve both explored the history, researched the best strategies, and played thousands upon thousands of games. DND had brought them together through mutual friendship with Eddie, while Super Mario kept their relationship on its toes.

Tonight, their choice was a little unconventional for them, a big dusty box fished from the very back of the closet. An inherited, smoke stained edition of Scrabble. If either of them and their dyslexia had realized that making a goal to play every game in the house would mean playing a spelling game, they might not have made that promise.

But, Steve already was dead set on doing it, and his dedication was not to be messed with. They were going to play that game, no matter how long it took.

Currently almost two hours and half a bag of letter chips in, it’s Steve’s turn again.

“Uhhh, I’ll spell… sunset! S-U-N.. S-E-T.”

Every chip is placed carefully, and they both double check it with the help of their Scrabble approved dictionary. At first, he’d placed them in the wrong spot, connected to a D instead of the S on the end that he meant to use, but they fixed it quickly instead of dwelling on the mistake. Billy knows Steve might cry of embarrassment if they keep the focus on his mistake for too long.

But now it’s time for Billy to have yet another go, as Steve reminds him in case he forgot again, “Your turn, Bubs! Got anything good?”

“Honestly? I have no ideas. These letters suck.” Billy grumbles, pushing the small tray that holds the letter chips away.

“You can look it up.” Steve suggests, the only way they ever agreed to go along with this game being shortcuts and technical cheats.

But Billy shakes his head, in deep concentration, “No. No, I wanna do it on my own.”

Steve gives an encouraging smile, “Take your time. I’m watching the TV over your shoulder.”

Something about the way Billy snorts says he doesn’t see that as encouragement, but instead sounds hurt, “I’m that boring, huh?”

Regretting the way he’d put it so bluntly, Steve makes sure to promise kindly, “Nope! I just like the game shows!”

It’s true too. He likes learning new words in a way that doesn’t make his brain feel like it’s on fire. And watching other people fail and struggle, even the best of the best, makes him feel a lot better about playing mostly two or three lettered words in this here game of Scrabble.

Billy’s shoulders relax with ease, satisfied that Steve isn’t annoyed with him. He does, however, quip sarcastically, “We’re so old.”

“Thirty isn’t old.” Steve hums, actually happy to be growing older instead of being trapped in the misery of his teens forever.

Growing up meant growing out of his intense self-deprecation, after leaving behind all the pain and the tragedy he’d gone through. Now in California, playing board games with the love of his life, nothing else matters.

Billy clarifies his meaning, showing to Steve that he feels the same way, and was just using an expression, “I’m not talking about literally, baby. And stop rounding up, I’m only 26.”

It’s lighthearted and they both smile, but something keeps nagging in Steve’s head. One of those old fears of his rising up despite his insistence that they don’t bother him anymore.

“We can do young people stuff.” He offers, sounding kind of upset though he doesn’t mean to let it show, “I mean, I just thought this was fun...”

Even though they’ve got a game set up, Billy leans over the small table on his elbows, and holds Steve’s hands, “Stevie. It’s great. I love these slow days with you. They make me happier than anything. I was just kidding.”

Instant relief floods Steve’s nervously twisted stomach, but just in case he asks, “You’re sure? ‘Cause we can do something else.”

It’s his fault they’re doing this. He said it would be okay. Fun even. He said they can do anything they want.

“I want to keep playing.” Billy promises, and then a real pleased look crosses his face, “I just thought of a word even.”

“What is it?” Steve brightens up immediately, leaning forward in interest.

Billy uses an ‘O’ chip already on the board to spell- “Love.”

Picking up from the look on Billy’s face, it’s not a coincidence that he’s taken to flirting through a board game. Steve blushes like they haven’t already been together for eight years. These slow times between them can be relaxing, but they’re usually days where they check in on their romance too. Rekindling the passion over a goddamn spelling game, that should, by all means, have caused Steve to panic ages ago.

It’s sweet, and it only gets better.

An adjacent ‘S’ in line with Billy’s ‘O’ and an ‘M’ further down the board makes it so Steve can spell the biggest word he’s ever played in this game, “Oh! I can use that to spell Soulmate!!”

“You got that right. I’m yours, and you’re mine.” Billy says all suavely. Steve’s literally giggling and kicking his feet, only to be shown once again through the next move just how much of a romantic Billy is.

“Matter of fact, I can use that new M to spell- Marry.”

For a moment, Steve just stares.

He’s not sure if it’s genuine or just a strategy, until Billy produces a tiny box from his pocket. It’s wooden, looks hand carved. Inside is a ring with a small ruby in a heart shape attached to a band, one he recognizes as being Billy’s mothers.

“Billy-“ He chokes. The words he’d been doing so good at freeze up. He’s used his brain so much today and now it’s failing him?

Billy is patient though, leaving the box propped open on the table so he doesn’t have to hold it and lock his wrist up, “Stevie.”

Steve swallows down his nerves as best he can, and starts to ask, “Are you..?”

“I am.” Billy finishes for him, so Steve doesn’t get too frustrated. It’s then that he starts to look nervous too. He chews his lip, a stim Steve recognizes as being an anxious one. Like he’s done something wrong by asking for something so big, “Do you want to?”

But this, this couldn’t be more perfect. A proposal through their shared special interest, a lifelong passion channeled into their love. Of course Steve wants that too. Really, he’s wanted it ever since they were teenagers, but now that they’re in their twenties, they’re finally ready for that dream to become a reality.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”

~~~~~~

For todays disability organization spotlight, let’s talk about the National Fibromyalgia Association.

The NFA is a site which provides health information and resources about Fibromyalgia, a condition that is under researched and often disregarded by medical professionals as not even existing.

The information on their site ranges from self care guides, science explaining chronic pain, COVID precautions for our disorder, medication and treatment suggestions, and emotional assistance for fibromyalgia patients, among other things.

Run by doctors and fibromyalgia patients alike, the websites main goal is to spread awareness and make research accessible for everyone. When I finally received my diagnosis, I spent a lot of time here learning about little things I could do for myself to manage my symptoms. Now I use mobility aids and am in physical therapy, and my symptoms are much more managed than before.

Because fibromyalgia is such a disregarded disability, so are our foundations. The NFA is currently asking for donations, either direct monetary donations or through buying their merchandise in the online shop.

If you would like to learn more about this organization or access their information guides, you can click here to visit the site.

#disabledbillyandsteveweek #harringrove #billy hargrove #billy x steve #autistic billy hargrove #autistic steve harrington #dyslexic billy hargrove #dyslexic steve harrington #billy Hargrove has fibromyalgia #my writing #ej writer

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quevadilla · 2 years

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okokok so i may not be a writer but one of @stevethescareington 's posts had me Thinking™

So Eddie would obviously make people mixtapes right? And that includes Steve. Especially Steve. This brings me to my first point:

Steve is dyslexic. He's always had trouble reading so he's just written books off as something he wouldn't enjoy. But when he and Eddie get together, Steve wants to at least try to get into one of Eddie's interests, one of them being the Lord of the Rings. Obviously, Steve being Steve, he hides his dyslexia. He's willing to deal with the headaches and what have you if it means he gets to see Eddie excitedly ramble about one of his passions when they hang out.

What he doesn't expect is for Eddie to pick up on his struggles. In secret, Eddie goes out and purchases as many blank cassettes as he can find and records himself reading the entire trilogy for Steve, complete with personal commentary.

The next time they're together, just the two of them, Eddie gifts Steve the tapes.

#disclaimer i am not dyslexic #steddie #stranger things #st #steve harrington #eddie munson #ficlet ig? idk oike i said im not a writer

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unlikelyjapan · 7 months

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Finales for Michael + Claire

Yo - someone has already broken down that the last/second-last images in each season finale were basically the same, right?

At any rate, I'm going do it again, because my tiny brain only mashed these two things together today. Apologies for the lack of stills.

We have flashback Mikey looking at Carmen reverently in sunlight-sepia hues at the close of season 1, then a big smile, hot on the heels of Carmy genuinely connecting with everyone at family meal - it lets Mikey's belief in his brother linger over the finale, a sense of continuation and partial closure.

The quixotic part of Radiohead's Letdown blasts us off to the credits. IMO, it was one of the most hopeful and tenderhearted moments in TV history.

In the season 2 finale we have flashback Claire, sepia-hued with her coy smile immediately cutting to a dejected Carmy in the walk-in as the welder creates "fireworks" akin to what we see behind them in Pop. There's a sense of continuation, but no closure - it just tells the audience to settle in for more regression in S3, just as we thought we were out of the woods with that experiment.

Michael Stipe walks us out with "Go it alone and haul it along" before it cuts to Syd, proud and abandoned, the song progressing into the credits.

I always felt like that last, longing look from Claire was the biggest crotch-kick from the Storer universe - it felt like an erasure of all the progress and connecting-of-dots that Carmy was working out throughout the latter half of the season, and I guess that's the material point of it all.

Maybe we have to watch this man chase familial myths and phantoms for another season, to the detriment of The Bear, his happiness, his earnest relationship with Syd, and everyone else around him. I'm not sure if he'll actually try to repair things with Claire in a fit of desperation/self-doubt, but it seems like she'll haunt him through his inevitable breakdown at a minimum.

I'm curious about how the writers engineer this without the audience feeling perpetually flogged. I also wonder how they will manage to empower Syd until Carmy starts putting shit together again.

I wish I had more endearing sydcarmy parallels to offer here tonight, but this was eating at me and now someone in the fandom needs to talk me off a ledge.

#the last-minute addition of that voicemail sent to an emotionally dyslexic man was a hate crime #watching carmy yearn for and/or frantically try to fix a shallow relationship for multiple episodes will be both grueling and boring #and watching Syd continually try to manage everything around a man exhibiting dry addict behavior after the table moment will be even worse #But if their inevitable fight leads to something hot I will be okay with everything and will send the writers an edible arrangement.#carmy x sydney #sydcarmy #carmen berzatto #syd x carmy #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu

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prince-peachie · 1 year

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(Shares the link to a fic of Andrew explaining his scars to his son Arlo and then vanishes back into the darkness)

#listen I’m not a writer #I do not vibe with words #except when I get to read them #except I’m dyslexic so I guess I don’t vibe with words ever #but I wrote this and please be nice #anywho #here’s an Arlo fic #aftg #andriel #Dadreil #Arlo Minyard-Josten #fanfic

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patronsaintofhomosandpain · 3 months

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Neccesity???

Necisity??

Nicesity?

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writing #writblr #writer things #writers #writerscorner #writerslife #book blog #please dont dont ask me how i am please dont make me spell #oh no oh whats the use?#i bet everybody here is dyslexic too

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just-french-me-up · 10 months

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hey hi i'm buzzing with the need for dreamling fic recs if you would be so kind as to point me in your favorite direction pls pls pls

Oh friend, you asked and I shall ✨ deliver ✨

DREAMLING FIC RECS 🌻✨

of my misery make thy use by @qqueenofhades (Explicit - WIP - 129k so far - In Universe, but with some tweaks, Rescue fic) Dream is Roderick Burgess' prisoner, in all his silent, sullen, naked glory, and has given up on the thought of anyone ever helping him out of there. Even Hob Gadling. Especially Hob Gadling. In fact, he's quite sure the man never wants to speak to him ever again, regardless of his current predicament. A bummer, really, because he also happens to be married to him. (Listen that fic has slain me EVERY WHICH WAY, it has EVERYTHING, it will take you PLACES (literally), it's rewarding as fuck, has OCs to die for, just... just read it, ignore the WIP status, what's there is absolutely chef's kiss)

the unknown and static strange by @qqueenofhades (yes, again, listen, if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more bla bla bla) (Mature - WIP - 69K so far (nice) - Dubious AU status, Memento mets Academia, Modern day with a twist) Professor Robert Gadling, under cut rocking, weird dreams having, and trauma suffering, discovers a strange piece of undocumented art that seems to follow him everywhere he goes. The Regis Somnorum won't leave him alone, and as he tries to follow that thread, a whole mysterious tapestry unfolds, putting everything he knows, or thought he knew, into question. (This fic is a fucking delight, it's just KEEPS feeding you "oh shit" moments and suspense and revelations and the pacing just keeps you on the edge of your SEAT. Again, IGNORE the WIP status I BEG OF YOU, read it, devour it)

This Rough Magic by @avelera (Mature - WIP - 36k so far - Rescue fic with a twist) Hob Gadling never fancied himself a mage or a warlock, but dabbled enough in the occult to pick up a few tricks over the years, all in the hope to communicate with his Stranger. A stranger, he later discovers, who is trapped under Roderick The Fucking Magus Burgess's manor. Now, he may not be the best magic wielder there is.... but Burgess doesn't know that, does he? (There are some VERY clever things in this fic, everyone is written to a T, I love a fic where my loathing of Burgess can burn from the brightest flame and at the same time have him not like a cartoon villain but a full human being! Can't wait to see where that goes!)

if you just let me (have you, love you) by Lost_Elf (Explicit - 25k - Human AU - Adult Film Actors AU (I see you tumblr, restricting words these days, I see you) Both very prominent in their own niches of the Internet, Dom-BDSM-oriented Dream and Vanilla-centered Hob cross paths and plan what could be (or so their managers hope) the collab of the century. And they might learn a thing or two along the way. (Listen, I read this on a whim, I wasn't too into Human AUs at the time, I was up for some smut that day, and this fic is a LOT more wholesome than the subject lets on and really gripped me! Lots of very nice details in there! And also, you know.... smut)

by the minute by @issylra (Explicit - 11K - Human AU, Sex Phone Operator Dream) Dream has a bet with Desire : he has to manage a phone sex line for some time. He's not thrilled by it. Callers are... unimaginative and unoriginal, to say the least. Except one. He has a very nice voice. He's funny. And he sounds just about as lost as he is, in life. (The tags make it sound super raunchy but it's more about developping attraction through someone's voice and getting to know someone through the phone and falling in love and.... it's just lovely, it's very sweet, it's like a little blanket with a warm cup of tea, really)

Now I KNOW this is not what you EXPLICITELY asked for but.... dare I suggest..... something with an OC thrown in the mix? Cause that's just adding a fun player to the game, with added stakes, really!

as heart for heart, for loving me by @kittttycakes (hello darling) (Explicit - WIP but soon to be finished - 151k so far - Canon compliant - OT3 if there ever was one - How to polyamory, a guide for Dream of the Endless, a primordial being who needs to use his goddamn words) When Dream finds Hob at the New Inn, he's ready to open up a little. Be a friend. Be a little more than that, though he can't quite articulate it. The only issue with that is that Hob has a girlfriend. A live-in girlfriend. A very much serious girlfriend. Dream tries his darnest to hate her, and finds he can't quite bring himself to. (It's soft, it's lovely, it has angst, it has smut, it has fluff for days, it has developping relationships GALORE (plural) and it's just a nice read to switch up your rotation, cause the potential for situations is tripled now!)

#the sandman #sandman #dreamling #dream x hob #dream x hob gadling #fic recs #sandman fics #the sandman fics #sandman fanfiction #sandman recs #I'm waking my way through in the waking world we wait and we want cause i'm a fucking slow reader and it's a monster of a thing #but it's also v v v nice #my dyslexic brain is killing me but i'm still standing #anyway one day i'll make a rec of all the shorter e rated fics ive read for dreamling #cause there are a few and shorter fics also deserve a shoutout #you'll be BUSY dear asker #also thank you so much for asking me ????? idk where that came from but i'm FLATTERED #hope you havent read all of those already #but also that's me giving lil reviews to those writers cause!!! hey love yo work you know #also watch me write all those summaries and struggle to come up for ANYTHING when it comes to my own fics is2g #i'm the type of gal who reads one fic at a time so my reading list is fucking growing by the DAY

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yourdailyqueer · 10 months

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Megan Schoonbrood

Gender: Male (she/her in drag)

Sexuality: Gay

DOB: 23 August 1988

Ethnicity: Dutch, Indonesian

Nationality: Dutch

Occupation: Drag artist, reality star, writer

Note 1: Partially deaf in both ears and requires hearing aids

Note 2: Is dyslexic

#Megan Schoonbrood #qpoc #lgbt #lgbtq #queerness #male #gay #1988 #biracial #dutch #indonesian #asian #poc #drag artist #reality star #writer #deaf #disabled #dyslexic

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scarletlizzard · 4 months

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If yall find any weird mistakes in my sentences or words, no you didn't! 😄 Every time I edit something, I go through hell rereading it because I'm severely ✨️dyslexic✨️

An example I just read in my drafts:

Ever since Wanda Maximoff stepped into your hell, it has been a living life.

#marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #send help #dyslexic #writer problems

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frankthesnek · 13 days

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I love your fics so I mean no disrespect but how you you write postable stuff if you struggle that much with reading?

This is what I get for calling myself out 😂 I probably put more effort into this answer than I needed to, but I like talking about this actually because I feel like dyslexia is an overlooked form of neurodivergence.

I do not take this with disrespect, so don't worry! (And thank you, I'm glad you enjoy my stuff!) I am well aware of my shortcomings with being able to proof read my own works and make them postable (as you put it). Two things that make a difference are 1) I have started trusting other people to help me and do beta reading which has helped me come a long way I think. And 2) writing is a bit diffrent than reading.

I (for the most part) know what types of words I personally struggle with and what triggers my dyslexia. When writting, I know what I want to or am trying to say, which means that typing it out I mostly use the right terms. However, I am not a great typer and like a lot of people with dyslexia I am a horrid speller. So auto correct and spell check can be my enemy as I will at times select the wrong correctly spelled word. I also struggle with specific types of word use in general because I can't tell them apart by looking at them so might use the wrong ones. But agian I'm aware of this, so I try to be careful and I warn my betas about it so they know to look for it.

Reading is different. I don't know what's happening. I follow context of the author to figure out what is going on and being said, and I do have to reread things a lot to figure it out sometimes because I will miss read things and be confused about what is happening. I also frequently stop to look up words that I don't know how to read because while I might know the word hearing it, if its spelled strangly, I won't recognize it written out. In short, I'm a slow reader lol.

Thank you for the ask! I seriously don't mind it, and thanks again for reading my stuff!

#asks #answers #anonymous #fic writing #writer problems #dyslexic #dyslexia #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

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vhstown · 5 months

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hi if ur interested in black british poetry i really recommend looking into benjamin zephaniah!! he passed away recently at 65 and his life was so interesting. he was a dub poet, writer, vegan and anarchist (upon many other things like acting in peaky blinders.) he wrote poems about his life, beliefs, and british society for black people and spoke out about societal issues often. very cool guy in my opinion 👍 do check his stuff out

#he performs a lot of his poems and theyre up on youtube #i learnt about him at skl but theres a lot i never knew about him #like the fact that he was dyslexic #and a lot of people dont even know about him #vee chats #benjamin zephaniah #black poetry #poetry #not atsv related #black writers #black british

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vethsoddities · 5 months

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Hold Me Like a Grudge

Summary: Ted Sankpoffski Holds A Grudge Against Stephanie Lauter For What She Had to Do In Cool As I Think I Am reprise

CW: Spoilers for NPMD and mentions of what Steph having to do in the moments after the summoning and during In Cool As I Think I Am reprise and mentions of canon things and spoilers for nightmare time 1 Time Bastard(kinda) Ted and Steph get into a argument

Master List

Credit 1:The idea was given to me by @veeicecream screenshot at the end of this post to see the idea

Credit 2:I took the white streak idea from @capriciouslyterminal with permission of corse

Credit 3: To me my idea of Duke Keane and Miss Holloway taking in Steph and teaching her how to bake and Steph working at mode Retro’s which is getting its own fic soon which is a technical part one of this story that on how Holloway and Duke took in Steph

remember requests are open and I evey so often rp if anyone wants to and I’m always looking for proofreaders if you are interested DM me if I messed up anywhere let me know the prequel to this coming at some point this took me long enough as it is lol I suck at endings lol

Ted Spankoffski was acutely aware of Eldrich away’s of the boring town of Hatchetfield, How couldn’t he when the local homeless man looked exactly like him but 50 years older than him and Pete, and how during the honey festival anyone crowned Honey Queen goes missing afterward even if there was reasoning to why the Honey Queen was no longer there in Hatchetfield. Or how so many people go missing every day and how most of the people in town seemed to always have a case of mass hysteria and blame each other like they were in a trial in a courtroom.

For example, in the recent murders of three Hatchetfield High students two out of three were Pete’s best friends Richie Lipschitz and Ruth Fleming and the third was Maxwell Jägerman Pete’s bully for years now since the fourth grade which from what Ted had seen for two weeks Pete seemed happier after Max went missing. Pete was even talking about Stephaine Lauter the mayor’s daughter and how she thought he was funny he even changed his outfit which was a tapestry of his trauma he dropped the bow tie and suspenders for her.

Ted approved of the new outfit maybe that was because he gave Pete the sweater a while back even if it didn’t follow the idea of picking an outfit and sticking with but, but sometimes change is good. Though he never moved on from Jenny he didn’t know where she was at all but where Jenny was he hoped she was safe.

Speaking of being safe Ted sat in his apartment with his head in his hands in disbelief across him was his younger brother Pete was talking to him about some eldrich beings called The Lords In Black and Max Jägerman coming back from the dead which Ted didn’t know what to believe but he was wanting to hear him out. “After we went to the school which is one of many of the black alters and with the black book to summon The Lord’s In Black and the only way we could stop Max. Was one of us had to give up what we Cherish Above All Else,” Pete started as he looked at Ted whose head was still in his hands.

“And for a moment Steph was the one to do it from what one of them said she was lying to herself about what it was before one of them told Steph that,” Pete paused for a moment as he started to quote Wiggog Y'Wrath while trying his best to copy his voice “You can lie to yourself but not to me, think about it” after quoting Wiggog Y'Wrath Pete did his normal voice as he continued to tell Ted the whole story “When Steph Realized what he meant one of The Lords in Black had his hand on my hair said something like ‘ah their he is’ that had me confused until I realized myself what he meant, which let me tell you having an eldrich being touch you is fucking terrifying. That thing even left a white streak in my hair which I honestly don’t know how to feel about it but Steph said she likes it and thinks it cool so that means that it has to be cool if she thinks then it must be,” Pete said trailing off topic for a moment.

Ted was about to say something when Pete got back on topic and continued to speak “The whole time before and after Maylor Lauter brought us to the witchwood to get the black book Steph had a gun on her,” when Ted heard mention of a gun he looked up at Pete and cut him off to say “A fucking are you Serious Pete, Please don’t tell me this is going where I think is going.”

To which the teen gave his brother a look and nodded his head and continued to speak before Ted could speak again

“We didn’t have a choice at that moment, Ted it was either I die or the whole damn world did and I wanted to be cool this time and take the bullet, Ted don’t be mad at Steph she didn’t have a choice as I said and I’m still alive because of Max stopping the bullet and Grace having sex with a fucking ghost.”

Ted had a Scowl on his face hearing that Stephanie Lauter the former Mayor’s daughter almost Sacrificed his younger brother screw the fact the world would have been doomed because of his living. Ted couldn’t even think of being i n a world without his nerdy little brother in it

“No Pete I think I will be mad at her hell I'm even holding a grudge against her she got you in trouble for cheating and she’s the reason Max beat you up and she almost fucking killed you and you expect me not to be mad or hold a grudge then you’re damn wrong Pete” Ted looking at Pete Scowl still on his face but it wasn’t directed towards Pete at all. Pete just sighed “I understand where you’re coming from Ted but we didn’t have a choice and I hope you know Steph would never hurt me on purpose and I hope someday you’ll understand that Ted.” With that, the Conversation between the brothers ended.

Over the course of a week after learning Stephaine had almost killed Pete, anytime Steph came over to Ted’s apartment to hang out with Pete she notched the looks Ted threw her way and the snide remarks that she got thrown her way from the elder Spankoffski. Though the remarks were never as harmful as her Father's were Ted was a sleazeball with a grudge but he was respectful to her he heard from Pete by accident what Solomon was like to her and he wouldn’t insult her too badly but he isn’t above being an asshole.

Eventually, the next time Steph came over was after she made brownies with Duke Keane and Miss. Holloway in Miss Retro’s.She had even brought hot chocolate that she also made at Miss Retro’s for Pete she’d rather make it herself or buy it from Starbucks.

Don’t get Steph wrong she’s all for supporting small businesses, But seeing as at Beanies they take forever for getting the order and spit into the drinks in general or if you’re a tad bit rude about not getting your order. Steph will always remember how Pete yelled in Beanies about not getting his hot coffee and how the barista spits in it she’d rather not get it from there.

But she also always liked Miss. Retro’s better because of how understanding and nice Miss. Holloway was to people than the baristas at Beanies were. Maybe she was a little biased on that account of liking Miss. Retro’s because she’s working there until she graduates and gets back on her feet. But that’s another story for another day.

The next time Steph came over was with brownies and hot chocolate like I said before was made with Miss. Holloway and Duke. So when she got to the apartment she knocked on the door and waited for it to open which it did but instead of Pete it was Ted “Hey Spankoffski senior I brought brownies and hot chocolate for Pete can I come in because it’s freezing out here” it was late October which was starting to get colder out.

Ted rolled his eyes and said “Sure come in sycophant make yourself at home and I’m not that old I’m 35 ” Ted muttered and then yelled “Pete your girlfriend’s here with a few things” After a second of Ted’s glaring at her Pete came out of his room and smiled wide at Steph.

“Hey,” Pete said starting to talk as he walked over to Steph “Steph you didn’t have to bring me anything at all” Steph smiled “Well Pete I did anyways plus Miss. Retro helped me make these” Stephanie said lifting her hand that had a dessert box with Miss—Retro’s Dinner logo on it.

“I also made you hot chocolate because I’d rather not give you a drink that the crappy barista at Beanies spits in,” Steph said Ted despite the fact he has a grudge against her agreed with Stephanie on that fact. He knew Emma was crabby he’d seen it himself and yet how co-worker and friend Paul liked her.

Steph gave Pete his hot Chocolate that wasn’t hot or cold it was warm which was just right to drink and Pete wouldn’t have to wait to drink it. After Pete Took the hot chocolate Steph handed him the brownies and he went to put the brownies in the kitchen.

Stephanie in general had enough of Ted’s snide remarks toward her Stephanie decided to confront him upfront about it when Pete wasn’t close enough to hear so she took the chance to confront Ted here and now. So she took the chance to speak to Ted

“I have a question Ted what the fuck did I ever do to you Ted to make you hate me enough to make snide remarks around me” Steph looked him in the eyes as she spoke “Because whatever I did please tell me so we can get over this whole irksome indifferent’s.”

Ted looks back at Steph and lets out a harsh sigh “Alright i will we’re do I start you almost shot Pete and then acted like it’s nothing and causing nothing but trouble for Pete since you started to talk like how you caused him to get beaten,” Ted continues as he stares at Stephanie done

“And even summoned fucking Eldredge beings called the lords in black and one of them touched him which caused a white streak in his hair” Ted wasn’t going to hold back on what he was saying as he continued to speak. Steph looked at him with a sight shocked expression realizing what this was all about the snide remarks and comments that were aimed towards her.

It took her a moment to speak “Is that what this is about?” Steph said her brows furrowed as she looked at Ted a be it a little hurt “Yes that is what all of this is about Stephanie you act so alienating yourself from showing how you feel,”

“It seems like you don’t give a damn about shooting at my brother to save the whole damn world, and not because of you he only lived because of fucking Grace Chasity of all people.” Ted’s tone was one of anger and indifference towards Steph as the scowl Ted tended to get when angered or annoyed was etched onto his face.

Steph raised a brow and asked “Really? Is that why you hate me honestly I don’t blame you for that I don’t, but you know it was an impossible situation, you know there wasn't a lot of options, so what do you want from me!” Stephanie’s tone was a defensive one.

Ted took a breath and admitted “Yeah there weren't many options, but that's my baby brother, that's all I have And I almost lost him and I never would have known why. It isn't logical or rational to be pissed because I am.”

Ted and Steph sat in silence ending the conversation and the silence tension went painfully slow for a moment before it dawned on the two of them that Pete hadn’t come back yet from putting the hot chocolate on the counter that Steph brought for him. Almost as if it was on queue the sound of something dropping alerted both Steph and Ted.

Steph quickly got up and rushed to the kitchen beating Ted there before he could. Where the sound came from was from the kitchen Ted followed after to check on Pete in case he passed out from low blood sugar.

When Steph rushed into the Kitchen she saw Pete drop one of the hot chocolates she brought. Pete was panicking and Steph’s brows furrowed in concern “Pete? Are you okay can you hear me?” Steph asks knowing that he isn’t good but she thinks she might as well ask him.

Through panicked breaths, Pete looked up at Steph “Steph?” Pete asks his eyesight blurred by tears “Yeah Pete it’s me I’m going to need you to breathe with me okay can you do that?” Steph asks walking to Pete.

Pete nods as he feels Steph put a hand on his shoulder as she tells him to take a deep breath in which he does and then out. After awhile Pete is a bit more calm as Steph tells him to do ‘54321’ he starts to list enter off. “Hey how about we get you into the living room for you to have a seat would you like Pete?” Pete nods as Steph takes his hand and starts to walk back to the living room.

Ted seeing them move steps out of the way side eyeing Steph but with a less aggressive more softened seeing how She handles Pete with such care and compassion. This causes him a moment of trying to fathom how Steph was willing to shoot at Pete but seeing the caring and loving expression with care and understanding for Pete the look she held when she looked at Pete.

It reminded him of Jenny and himself. especially when Jenny did the same thing for him when he had a panic attack in college. He loved Jenny more than a friend but he never got to tell her seeing as she moved to Clivesdale before he got to. The more Ted stared at both Steph and Pete as they talked Pete seemed more calm than he was before.

As the time bastard watches the pare he starts to realize he missed judged Steph. Ted knows that if he had to shoot Jenny to save the world he’d would be especially to keep Pete safe. As he came to that realization he felt bad but he wouldn’t say it out loud at least not right now not in front of Pete.

Ted noticed Steph looked over at him her brows furrowed in confusion trying to pin out why Ted was staring. When he noticed Ted’s gaze had softened more he gave Steph a nod of approval and a scent promise that they’d talk about this later. When Steph got the nod of approval from Ted she had a small smile forming on her face.

Despite the irksome indifference that is sightly still there between Stephanie and Ted at the end of the day the two of them care for each other. Even if Ted still holds the grudge he has towards Stephanie it’s now softened as he slowly understands why she had to nearly sacrifice Pete for the sake of the world.

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