Tumgik
#unless we are discussing the topic of how we can help them (medically).
theswiftheartsystem · 4 months
Text
(New!) The Swift Heart System Introduction💙
Tumblr media
cw: syscourse, and general discourse.
Basic Information:
Collective Name: Refer to us as Swift Heart if not sure!
Collective Pronouns: They/Them, or Ask!
Collective Gender: Pangender, GenderFluid, and genders along that spectrum are all okay with us 👍
We are white, afab and American, keep in mind our perspective is based around our personal experience, and what we have learned about.
Alter Count at the moment: Around 400, but we are aware it’s more, we don’t really care much about alter count all things considered lol.
Host: As of now, none! Even when we have one it isn’t very long!
Origin: Traumagenic
Disorders that we have: DID (what this blog is mainly about), BPD, Autism, C-PTSD, GAD, and possibly OCD (although we would lie to discuss it with a therapist/psychiatrist beforehand for personal comfort!)
Extra: We are Pro-Endo!!!! Although we cannot stop you from interacting if you are anti-endo, We kindly request you please just block us and move on if you have a problem with that.
About Us:
Why are we pro-endo?: When we were first discovering our system we were desperate to be “real enough” and accepted. Although the first system we discussed plurality with was pro-endo, they left the internet shortly after we opened up, and this lead us to being around sysmeds. To prove ourselves we purposely forced ourselves to remember trauma which put us in a worse position mentally. It took a long time, but through working to accept ourselves, we realized how bigoted we were being, which lead us to question a lot of things, such as our beliefs on endogenic plurality. Although we have gone a long way, some of our alters do not agree with us because it got so drilled into our mind that “endogenic systems are somehow just traumagenic and don’t remember” (which is a incredibly misinformed and harmful.)
What do we plan to talk about on this blog?: Really whatever we feel like! We may talk about Syscourse, plural positivity, advice from personal experience, our trauma, special interests and hyperfixations, ect. If we want to talk about it we probably will. (Although we always try to put the proper trigger and content warnings, and if we miss one by accident please tell us so we can add it as soon as possible!)
How to contact us/ask us a question: DMs are normally open unless a situation is happening! Along with that, feel free to use the ask me anything button, comment section on posts, or reblogs!
Mistakes on post: If we make a mistake, please inform us! We are always open to editing post (and do quite a bit), and we aren’t perfect, and especially if we say something bigoted, please correct us we are always open to learning about these topics, and acknowledge that we are privileged in certain ways. We would rather delete a long post we worked hard on if it is harmful then keep it up and go “wellll- it doesn’t affect me personally”
What are we “Pro” on:
We are obviously pro-endo!
We are pro self help. Although we think therapy is beneficial in many ways, not everyone can get a good therapist, wether that’s for financial reasons, none near you, or ableism, racism, sexism, ect in the medical/mental health field. Also it can benefit everyone to learn new coping mechanisms! (Please see a doctor if you are ill! You can only help yourself so much! We do not condone refusing to see doctors when you need to!!!
We are pro self diagnosing! (Just please do proper research before so, and even if it turns out you where wrong, you aren’t faking unless you actively attempt to fake.)
We are pro neopronouns and xenogenders!
People with villainized disabilities and/or mental disorders!
What are we “anti” on:
The trans-Id community. We don’t talk about this on this blog due to a lot of these people in this community being children, although we think what they are doing is dangerous and harmful, We would rather not direct harassment towards children. That being said, please do not harass anyone. (Also wanting to add, we are not anti-BIID, BIID is a completely separate thing.)
Bigotry.
”Narcissistic/Borderline/ect abuse” People with personality disorders can be abusive like anyone else can, but the idea of “[PD] abuse” is just to villainies those with Personality Disorders. This stops making sense when you change the disorder. (Example: “Post-Traumatic abuse” this sounds over the top, but we have legitimately seen someone say this.)
Ending:
Thanks for reading! Have a nice day, and remember you are doing great.
27 notes · View notes
Text
Thoughts on Elves’ Perception of Death
CW: Discussion on the topic of how people view suicide.
I have been thinking about how elves may view death.
Like when mortals die they get yote to Only-God-Knows-Where, and Morgoth took benefit of this ambiguity and made people fear death. And I can see how fear of death can benefit his goal of making everyone fucking crazy and evil.
For elves they knew where they are going: They are going to Mandos-filled-with-top-tier-tapestries to have some personal reflections and nice rest and then eventually be thrown back to the world to try (suffer) again.
My personal head canon of Mandos: It was COZY. Great fiber art. Hang out with your dead relatives. Had equivalent of televisions livestreaming all the dramas of the living world. 
Yeah there were people that were desperate to get back to their life again to continue the good fight, but they were not able to because their souls were still injured by death, or they got stopped by overworked maiar (exasperated medical workers) because they were not completely healed and “stop being difficult we do not want to see you back within a hundred of years”. But there were definitely a few people who had to be basically kicked out (“you are healed enough, we have limited spaces, and the construction team for hall expansion are fucking tired.”) 
Miriel got away by “I want to help with your wife making tapestries.” 
Namo was offended that people call his hospital jail. Yeah most people did not want to stay in hospital, but can’t you see it is necessary?
So now here is the problem. When the choice is between death (and go to elf therapy center) and torture & enslavement (being forced to serve the evil and possibly still die and go to elf therapy center, only now you need much, much more therapy), what would be the more sensible choice?
I feel Tolkien possibly had awareness of this problem, so he had this idea that elves were not allowed to suicide. Unless they get raped. That’s interesting that he thought being raped is the absolutely worst thing that could be inflicted on a person, and I still do not have much clear opinion on that. In general I think there are many awful things a person can suffer, and for many of them you cannot figure out which is awful and which is awful but not that awful. Each of them fucks you up in different ways. Thus, I cannot find myself to accept this idea as canon.
Also, even this is true, elves cannot suicide, can’t they mercy kill each other when the situation was dare?
So either elves cannot suicide at all no matter how (which is kinda contrary to canon,) or they were free to murder themselves for whatever reasons.
I find myself accept the idea that Morgoth and some of his servants had the abilities to trap people’s souls and force them to live. Basically, you do not get to stay died in Angband when you are not allowed to die. The evil had some wicked healing power, when you die they just revive you in your broken body and fix you enough for you to continue to be tortured/used by them. There was no way to escape, even through death.
(Yes, I am the person who believed Morgoth and Sauron were much more evil and awful and creative and smart than people give them credit for. I think of Morgoth as atrocities of invasion wars, and Sauron as atrocities of authoritarian governments. Morgoth provided the core concept and Sauron provided the methods.)
So, do elves view death the same way our mortals view death?
Death had been viewed as an escape for some human, even we do not know if we have an afterlife or not. No matter justified or not (and I don’t think anyone of us can judge each other’s decisions), many who committed suicide wanted a way to stop the pain they are suffering, in body or in mind or in both. Many of them did not even believe their existence would go anywhere other than fading into the void nothingness, but did the act because they just wanted to stop existing.
And elves knew there is a place waiting for them. That knowledge... Probably can be strangely comforting.
Does that make fighting to death in battles less scary? Does that make killing yourself less terrifying? Does that make killing someone else less guilt wracking because you can be delusional enough to somehow convince yourself that it is... less permanent?
Also, what does it really mean when an elf choose death over something else? Do they view death as a way out of confinement, that they see freedom in death?
I think Eol probably somehow convinced himself that he could use death as a quick escape for him, his son, and possibly his wife as a way out of the wicked city (which was apparently awful and delusional) (And my personal headcanon is he rejected Call from Mandos and became a wandering houseless spirit and got to see how things turned to shit for his son and prayed someone could come to kill and release his son from all these Noldor shit and wished he succeed in killing his son but he could do nothing because he was a bodiless spirit)
I think Maedros chose to jump the fuck down into that blasted lava pit because he did not even want an afterlife. He just wanted to stop existing and he knew he could not because he was an elf, and even the mortal cannot stop existing they just got sent to somewhere else. He was also scared of being sent to everlasting darkness. So he jumped into this shiny bright fire pit, hoped it would burn him and take away everything of him including all the sin he committed.
My headcanon for the everlasting darkness: 
It does not exist.
No, you do not go wherever you imagine after death. You either go to Mandos then get sent back to life when you are elf, or go to Mandos then get sent to Eru-knows-where when you are mortal, we don’t know what happens if you are dwarf but there is a place for you, or you reject the call and wander as a spirit and SUFFER. But you do not go to a place made up by your melodramatic father in his rage for his awful poetic oath because it does not exist.
Feanorians swore to be casted to something that did not even exist.
They did drown in everlasting darkness, metaphorically. They went there not because of their oath, but because of the things they did.
77 notes · View notes
ldysmfrst · 22 days
Text
Breaking and Entering (4) - Mikhail
Tumblr media
Status: Ongoing Series (hiatus - may start again based on responses)
Chapter number: 4 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 1,044
Word count for Story: 8,908
Genre: Werewolf
A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children. One of which is special needs, and on 3/28, they lost 75% of their vision. I started a Patreon if you feel the heart to donate towards helping with the medical costs of appointments, medication, and modifications to the house, which insurance doesn't cover.
Warnings: (I am not good at this, but I will try. Let me know if I missed anything!!) NOT BETA READ!! This story will have a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, and m/m. This chapter doesn't have any warnings... unless I missed some.
Tumblr media
High school.
Like actual high school with other students. 
Not alone with a tutor in the library of the packhouse. 
My world just got flipped yet again. After my father wished me luck, Aliaksandr, Mitch, and I moved to Gamma Jon's office to discuss how my day would look. I started at 8 a.m. and ended at 3 p.m., followed by training with the warriors my age and who would be under my command. 
"What do you mean I have a free third period? What is brunch? I thought there were sports after school, not training?" I ask no one in particular as I look down below, watching the students starting to come in quickly. 
Most students are dressed lightly for the heat until one student catches my eye, leaving the building … wearing pants and a hoodie. Watching the student walk away, I can feel Borya get restless.
"MIKY!" Aliaksandr raises his voice, and I spin around and glare at him before I say anything, "If you want us to answer all your questions, you might want to listen to our answers. Besides, you have five minutes to get to your first class with me, and Professor Clark is not one to mess with."
"You are lucky you are my Beta, Sasha," I say as I grab my coat.
Mitch hands me a backpack and says, "In here, you have everything you need for your first 2 classes. Your locker has the rest of your stuff. I know you aren't dressed for school, but we will make do."
"What do you mean I am not dressed for school?" That is when I remembered I was dressed for the office. I thought this morning's meeting would be with an advisor or to settle something urgent, so I was wearing a three-piece charcoal gray suit with no tie and black dress shoes. 
"I cannot go to my first day of school like this! What kind of impression would that be? I am stuck up, prick, right? I think not. Hold on."
Papa, can I run home and get on something other than a suit?
Yes, Misha. You can start after brunch. Take Sasha with you.
"Sasha, you and I will go back to the packhouse so I can change. Mitch, you go ahead and get to class. We will meet back here during the third period. Understood?"
They nod in unison, and Mitch jogs out of the office. 
Tumblr media
Sasha and I head home to my car, a deep purple Toyota Highlander. Along the way to the packhouse, I decide it's time for some answers.
"Sasha, when did you know this was going to happen?" I glare at him quickly, trying to keep my eyes on the road.
"About two days ago, but Mitch knew about a month ago because Gamma Jon mentioned something to him."
"So, explain high school."
Listening to my Beta tell me about the cliques, the squabbles between the circles, and all the chicks, I know this year will be challenging. I not only have to integrate like I am just another student, but I also have to find the balance between being one of them and being their next Alpha.
I have to deal with multiple teachers instead of one tutor. This is probably going to be my easiest transition because I already know most of the pack, and my tutors would switch depending on the topic. It shouldn’t be hard to have more than one at a time, but we will see. 
There is also the pressure to find my mate. According to Sasha, it should be easy with all the females at the school turning 18 soon. Even though it seems like it would be easy, Sasha doesn’t seem to consider all of my Alpha duties. Taking the time out of those duties to attend coming-of-age celebrations just means later nights for me. 
I have always wondered what it would be like for humans who have to go through trial and error to find a mate. In my spare time, I have read books about epic battles over love or on heartache over being with the wrong human mate.
Can you imagine wasting months or years of your life only to have your chosen mate be the wrong one? I guess it may not be that different from living your life without being moonmatched. 
Tumblr media
When we get to the packhouse, we have some time before we have to get back. I decided to raid the fridge for breakfast, shower, and change into dark denim jeans, a dark blue polo shirt, and blue and black Nikes. For some reason, since I learned about going to school, Borya has been restless. 
Borya, what is wrong? Why are you acting like you haven't been on a run all month? We ran last night.
She is near, our mate; she is finally close. 
Do you mean she is eighteen already? We need to find her fast. 
I don't think she is eighteen yet, but I can feel her. Being an Alpha allows us to feel things before anyone else, including her.  
Right, but she is here, and I may meet her sooner than we thought.
Running downstairs, I call for Sasha. I cannot wait to tell him what Borya said. "Sasha! Sasha! I have great news!" I yell as I barrel around the corner into the main hall, almost running into my mother. 
"Good Morning to you too, Misha," she smiles at me. “I hear your father finally told you the good news. You're starting in an actual high school. Remember, you are still 18 years old. Have fun with school, make friends, and find yourself."
"Mum! I am so sorry. Where is Sasha? I have great news! Borya said he felt our mate, which means she is here! She really is here!" I say with a massive smile, hugging my mother tightly. 
"That is wonderful! Now, you must ensure you are a man worth being a mate with. Oh, I had Sasha wait for you in the car. I wanted to wish you luck on your first day of school," she tells me as she walks to the front door, "Now off with you. Good luck, and make us proud."
Previous / Next
Tumblr media
Taglist - Open
3 notes · View notes
lemony-snickers · 2 years
Note
🧐~🎶
hi hi hi. thanks so much for playing! i hope you're doing well. <3
🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?
this... very much depends on the story. generally, for fanfiction, i don't do too much unless it's necessary. i kind of let myself just fall into the story and i often keep timelines sort of vague for that reason, though i will check chronology and facts about characters as necessary.
but for something like helping hands (and all the historical romance aus), i do some perfunctory research sort of throughout. like, what kind of clothing did people where, how did they travel, what did they eat, that sort of thing. i've done some research on the japanese military history (which is bolstered by my martial arts background, tbh, because it's something we often discussed in our studies), and the police force particularly for scent of a camellia. i also have watched a lot of weapons demonstration videos to figure out how a kyoketsu-shoge moves so i could describe it in fight scenes, lol.
as for my non-fanfic writing, i have done a lot of research on a bunch of very strange topics ranging from the prices and customization of caskets to the history of ice fishing and how long a brown rat can hold its breath. i like learning totally useless stuff for no reason whatsoever, lmao. i once watched a medical school autopsy video just so i coud make a halloween costume.
🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?
lately, most of what i've been listening to has been my running/workout playlist because i am training for something asdlfjasdf my fave songs from it currently are hot girl bummer by blackbear and good morning sunshine by the narcissist's cookbook. that second one def helps get my ass moving at 5AM when i would much rather be sleeping.
however, i do often listen to music while writing. either that or sometimes i will have an asmr video going in the background because it helps me focus. generally, i have some "mood" playlists that i will listen to when i'm writing specific types of things. like, i have a longing playlist and ones for melancholy and action. just stuff that generally has the vibe of what i'm trying to write.
some of my larger projects actually have soundtracks that i make for them, but don't typically share since they probably only make sense to me. some of them stay in the rotation long after the project is over, depending on how much i like the music i chose to fit it.
5 notes · View notes
enby-nyc · 1 year
Text
Addressing Scarring and Post-Operative Discomfort After Gynecomastia Surgery in Trans Men
Gynaecomastia, or the development of breast tissue in transgender men, can be a source of significant physical and emotional discomfort. While many individuals opt for surgical treatment to address this issue, post-operative scarring and discomfort are common concerns.
In this article, we will discuss the causes of gynaecomastia in transgender men, the surgical options available for treatment, and ways to address scarring and post-operative discomfort.
What causes gynecomastia in trans men?
Gynecomastia in transgender men is often caused by the hormonal changes that occur during hormone replacement therapy (HRT). HRT, which is used to feminize the body and suppress masculine characteristics, can lead to an increase in the size of breast tissue. This can be a source of distress for transgender men, who may feel that their bodies do not reflect their gender identity.
What are the most common surgical options?
The most common surgical option for treating gynecomastia is male breast reduction surgery, also known as gynecomastia surgery. This procedure involves the removal of excess breast tissue, fat, and skin. The surgery is typically performed on an outpatient basis and recovery time varies depending on the individual and the extent of the procedure.
One of the most significant concerns for individuals who have undergone gynecomastia surgery is scarring. Scarring is a natural part of the healing process, but it can be a source of distress for many individuals. To minimize scarring, it is important to follow the post-operative care instructions provided by your surgeon, including avoiding strenuous activity and keeping the incision area clean and dry.
How to care for your incisions and surgical site?
Tumblr media
Taking care of incisions and surgical sites can be a delicate process, but it is an important step to make sure you heal properly and prevent scar tissue. After surgery, you may need to keep your incisions clean and dry. This may involve cleaning them with soap and water, using products containing benzoyl peroxide, or using other forms of topical treatments - the specific instructions for this should be provided by your doctor.
Scars may also form from any plastic surgery such as breast surgery or bottom surgery, so keeping the incision site moisturized is a good idea. Try not to pick at or scratch any scabs that form around the area. You should also avoid unnecessary contact with the surgical site to reduce the risk of infection - try not to swim in lakes or public pools and don’t put creams or ointments directly on the incision unless instructed by your doctor, as they can increase risks of infection.
Another way to minimize scarring is to apply silicone gel or silicone sheeting to the incision site. These products are designed to soften and flatten scars, and they can be used in conjunction with other scar management techniques. However, it is important to note that while silicone products can be helpful in improving the appearance of scars, they do not completely eliminate them.
Taking prescribed medications and vitamins if necessary is key, as these can help with gynecomastia surgery recovery. All in all, taking proper care of your incisions helps ensure a safe and healthy recovery following surgery!
Managing Discomfort and Pain Following Surgery
Get Up and Move Around
After any cosmetic surgery such as top surgery for FTM or breast surgery for men, managing discomfort and pain can certainly be a challenge. In order to ensure the best recovery process possible, one of the essential tips for managing this discomfort and pain is to get up and move around. Doing light exercises such as walking or stretching can help reduce soreness in the muscles caused by being inactive during the healing process.
Getting up and moving around also promotes better circulation following surgery, allowing your body to heal from wounds more quickly. It's important to be patient with yourself and respect your own pace, but getting up and physically moving on a regular basis is key for ensuring a pleasant post-surgery experience!
Take Your Pain Medication as Prescribed
Tumblr media
Undergoing male breast reduction surgery is no small feat - not only must a person be prepared for the time spent in recovery and healing, but it’s also important to understand the discomfort and pain that can follow any operation. The best way to manage these feelings is to remember that pain medications are prescribed for a reason: if you take your medications as instructed by your doctor, then you will find pain management much easier.
It may seem intimidating or even uncomfortable to be relying on medical treatment after an operation, but it is far better than living with unmanaged pain which can result in further complications down the line.
Use Ice to Help Reduce Pain and Swelling
Pain and swelling are a natural and expected part of the healing process following almost any surgery, but with every step taken towards recuperation, managing it is key. Applying cold therapy to the affected area could be an effective way to reduce inflammation and ease discomfort. Wear a compression garment if directed by your doctor, and use ice to help reduce swelling. Make sure to ask your doctor if you have any questions.
Additional methods such as rest and elevation may also prove useful for reaching that end goal of pain management. With personal research, trial and error, finding what works best for you are manageable - so don't let discomfort stand in the way of recovery!
Physical therapy
Physical therapy is another way to alleviate post-operative discomfort and speed up the recovery process. Physical therapy can help to strengthen the muscles and tissues around the incision site, which can reduce pain and inflammation. Additionally, it can improve range of motion and flexibility, which can help the individual to return to their normal activities more quickly.
In addition to physical discomfort, it is also important to address emotional and psychological well-being after gynecomastia surgery. Many individuals who have undergone this procedure experience a significant improvement in self-esteem and body image. However, some may experience feelings of disappointment, if results are not as expected or scars are more visible than anticipated. It is important to have a support system in place, such as friends and family, who can provide emotional support during the recovery process.
Wear Loose Fitting Clothing.
Following any kind of surgery requires a proper recovery period, during which time discomfort and pain can occur. To soothe any such issues during the healing process, it's important to wear loose-fitting clothing. Not only does this provide comfort for the body, but it also gives the opportunity for your skin to breathe properly to avoid rashes and irritations.
Avoid Lifting Heavy Objects.
Managing discomfort and pain following surgery is a process that you can learn to manage with the help of a medical professional and board-certified plastic surgeon. One basic tip to follow for recovering from surgical procedures is to avoid lifting heavy objects as much as possible. While this might be inconvenient at times, it's important to give your body time to rest and heal correctly. This can help prevent worsening pain, additional injury, and other complications during recovery.
Doing this early on in the healing process helps set yourself up for a smoother and less painful recovery. However, if the need arises to do something like lifting a heavy object, always make sure you enlist someone who is able to assist you with proper technique so as not to worsen your condition or cause further harm.
Eat a Healthy Diet
Maintaining a healthy diet after surgery is imperative for promoting effective healing and recovery. Eating a balanced diet full of nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and high-quality proteins can help rebuild tissue faster and minimize muscle wasting.
Stay Hydrated
Tumblr media
Staying hydrated is also incredibly important because it aids in the flushing of toxins from the body, eases joint pressure, thickens and increases the production of protective mucus in the respiratory tract, as well as boosts physical energy levels during recovery. Additionally, drinking plenty of fluids will decrease cramping or swelling post-surgery and helps with digestion - all of which are key in turning those times of discomfort into moments to keep your body strong and on the mend!
Get Plenty of Rest
It can be incredibly difficult to manage the discomfort and pain that follows surgery. Getting enough rest is essential not just to cope with the healing process but also to ensure the body has time to regenerate itself. While it may be easy to balk at this advice and go back to our regular routines faster than advised, taking it slower and giving your body the rest it needs will improve recovery times and hopefully reduce levels of discomfort in the long run.
Take a Warm Bath
Taking a warm bath can also help to reduce pain and discomfort. Be sure not to add any soap or bubbles to the water as this can irritate the incision site. Submerging the body in warm water can have a soothing effect, as it helps to reduce inflammation and swelling while increasing blood flow to the affected area. A warm bath is also an effective way to relax both the mind and body, aiding further in recovery and helping manage discomfort.
What Causes a Gynecomastia Scar to Develop?
Gynecomastia surgical scars can be one of the unfortunate side effects of a procedure meant to improve one's aesthetic. Any surgery carries with it the potential for scarring, and gynecomastia cosmetic surgery is no exception. The general cause underlying most gynecomastia scars is due to a particular type of incision made: either periareolar or inframammary. In more detail, periareolar incisions are made along the circumference of the areola, which can create long-term nerve damage and an increased risk for infection.
On the other hand, inframammary incisions - which involve cutting into or beneath underarm or breast fold skin - are generally less risky but may require additional skin removal in order to ensure that all excess glandular tissue is removed.
Tips to Guarantee That Scars Vanish Entirely
Keeping the Wound Clean and Dry
Scars may be a part of life, but nobody wants them to stick around any longer than necessary. Fortunately, if proper care is taken right away, there is a real chance for scars to vanish entirely. Keeping the wound clean and dry is a must when it comes to healing scabs and cuts and preventing infection.
If you make sure that the wound shouldn’t be exposed to dampness from sweat or moisture from showering, then you create an optimal environment for scar-free healing. Even something as seemingly small as wearing loose clothing can help with this process too. By being mindful of your own body and the way things interact with it that you may have never considered before, you can promote well-founded healing every single time.
Applying Pressure
Applying pressure is one of the most reliable tips when it comes to ensuring a scar vanishes entirely. By gently pressing on the scarred skin, circulation can be stimulated which can help to reduce the appearance of scars and even allow them to fade away completely over time. Pressure changes that occur deep in the skin help with collagen production, allowing for smoother, more consistent, and less pronounced surface skin layers.
Wearing Sunscreen
Wearing sunscreen is quite possibly the most effective tool to ensure that scars don't linger long after minor wounds have healed. It's all thanks to the sun's UV rays, which can cause age-related changes like wrinkles and discolorations—especially in those who sport fair skin or have a history of heavy sun exposure. Adding sunscreen to your everyday routine will protect you from these harms, blocking out UVA and UVB radiation.
Moisturize Regularly
Keeping the skin around the scar moisturized can help to improve its appearance and texture. Look for a moisturizer that contains silicone, as this ingredient has been shown to be effective in reducing scars. Apply the moisturizer several times a day, massaging it into the skin in a circular motion.
See a Dermatologist
Tumblr media
If home remedies don’t seem to be working after several months, or if you have a large or deep scar that is affecting your self-esteem or causing pain, it may be time to see a dermatologist. A variety of treatments are available that can help improve the appearance of scars, including laser therapy, cryotherapy, and injections.
Stop Smoking
Smoking can impair wound healing, as the chemicals in cigarettes reduce circulation to the affected area. Therefore, it’s important to stop smoking if you have recently had gynecomastia surgery and are trying to minimize scarring. Additionally, avoiding second-hand smoke is also recommended.
Try Over-The-Counter Treatments
There are several over-the-counter treatments that claim to reduce scars, including gels, creams, and ointments. These products typically contain ingredients such as vitamin E, cocoa butter, or aloe vera, which can help to moisturize and protect the skin while promoting healing. However, it’s important to note that there is little scientific evidence to support these claims.
Practice Good Hygiene
During the healing process, it’s important to practice good hygiene in order to speed up recovery and reduce the risk of infection. Keep the affected area clean with mild soap and water or an antibacterial cleanser, and avoid touching or picking at the scars.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, gynaecomastia in transgender men can be a source of significant physical and emotional distress. Surgery is an effective way to address this issue, but post-operative scarring and discomfort are common concerns.
To minimize scarring, it is important to follow post-operative care instructions, consider using silicone gel or silicone sheeting and look into physical therapy options. Additionally, post-operative discomfort can be managed with pain medication and cold compresses. It is also important to address emotional and psychological well-being after gynaecomastia surgery, by having a support system in place.
0 notes
stealthtechnocrats · 2 years
Text
Which is the Best Mobile App Development Company in Delhi, NCR?
Offering the Finest Mobile App Design & Development in Delhi & the NCR
Have you ever considered how convenient it is that we can accomplish just about everything by navigating between different tabs in our browser?
Daily, we rely on technology, whether it's to get a ride to the office or to make sure our elderly parents have access to the best medical advice, no matter where they live. In this case, it is essential to have a firm grasp of mobile applications since only the most outstanding application development business can help you make ends meet.
Recognizing that a great idea isn't enough for the Best Mobile App Development Company in Delhi NCR. The competitive world demands more when it comes to app creation. In a predicament like this, having access to an expert who can help you through the problem and find answers tailored to your specific needs is crucial.
Tumblr media
Stealth Technocrats is one of the top names in the field and also in the field of Google Ads Expert In Delhi and has received numerous accolades and recommendations due to its efforts, so it is likely to be mentioned whenever the topic of the finest mobile app development company in Delhi NCR arises.
Practical software development is known to be a time- and resource-intensive endeavor that necessitates the dedication of many people. As a result of how efficient they are, the procedure gives the impression of being easy.
What Qualities Should You Look for in a Mobile App Development Company?
In this post, we will discuss what makes Stealth Technocrats one of the best names in the domain and flourish as the Best Mobile App Development Company in Delhi NCR, and why it is essential to discuss the inner workings of such a system and what exactly does one mean by the most functional app development company.
Stealth TechnoCrat is one of the most promising iOS app development firms in Delhi NCR. You must understand that hiring an application development company, especially one that focuses on app development, is time-consuming and expensive. Tt things from spiraling out of control, professionals in every industry work to find solutions to specific problems.
The best mobile app development firm in Delhi NCR knows how important it is to their clientele's satisfaction that they provide all the resources necessary to complete each project successfully. Your final goal in seeking out the top mobile app development company in Delhi NCR or anywhere else in India should be to have your idea implemented practically. You may wonder why Stealth Technocrats stands out among the best Android app development companies in Delhi. That's another concept they've gone out of their way to explain to you.
Why Select Stealth Technocrats?
You have many options to choose from if you are looking for a company that can help you create an iOS application in Delhi or in the locations that are immediately surrounding the city. If this is true, it begs the question: why do they choose covert technocrats repeatedly? Let's put our heads together to determine what the coded message says.
A High Standard of Service
The first thing you need to bear is that once you have handed the organization's leadership over to Stealth Technocrats, they will supply your customers with the highest possible level of service. It is impossible to earn the label of "top NodeJS development company in Delhi" until and unless the service fulfills or exceeds the requirements set out by the customer.
Stealth Technocrats are unparalleled at ensuring high-quality service. And it is this capability that enables them to promote it to others confidently. They also provide one of the best Google Adwords Services in Delhi.
Service of Unparalleled Perfection
They are one of the leading iOS app development companies in the Delhi/National Capital Region area because of the fantastic service structure that they provide to their customers. The only thing the clients do is supply a context for the application and a general explanation of the problem you want them to address and the action to be taken.
Beginning with the pre-launch preparation and continuing with the continual customer support, Stealth TechnoCrat is committed to offering nothing less than one hundred percent satisfaction to every one of its clients.
Because of Its Reasonable Cost
When making a decision, it is necessary to bear in mind that the price may be just as important as the degree of service offered. It is something that should keep in mind at all times.
When it comes to this specific aspect of app development, Stealth Technocrats is head and shoulders above the competition in the Delhi/mobile NCR region, which provides them with a significant advantage over their competitors.
Stealth Technocrats is head and shoulders above the competition in the Delhi/mobile NCR region. They guarantee to provide services that are unavailable anywhere else, and they keep their prices low so that you may take advantage of them without having to worry about getting into significant amounts of debt.
Prompt Help
In this regard, it is of the utmost importance to mention that the all-encompassing services that Stealth Technocrats provide are many. They are one of the best NodeJS Development Companies in Delhi and the provider of one of the best eCommerce SEO Services in Delhi. They are unrivaled in these areas.
You can reach out to them anytime for assistance with any requirement. It is because it is of the highest significance to mention that their service is unrivaled. If you want the experts to show interest in your situation and provide you with outstanding assistance, we will put you in touch with them.
There is no competition for Stealth TechnoCrats when meeting all of your requirements for mobile app development; no other firm even comes close. The only thing they, as clients, require is the plan, and everything else will take care of itself automatically. The first thing you need to do to be successful in reaching your goals is to earn their trust.
0 notes
builder051 · 2 years
Note
1, 39, 93, and 50 for the asks game if you please.
1. What do you crave in a psychological sense? Intimacy, passion, purpose, belonging, social interaction, etc.?
Structure, I would say. Even though it's really hard for people with challenges like autism (me), ADHD (DD), and the same/similar diagnoses (big kid, one of the roomies, etc)--don't want to tell a lot of personal info--predictability is important. It can be small stuff, like choosing clothes to wear tomorrow as part of tonight's bedtime routine. Doing proctored art class one day a week. That kind of stuff. Without there being some semblance of order, there's this 'OMG, there are things th DO! What do I want? Is that allowed? Is that getting is someone else's way? How to politely tell the kid to please stop roughhousing with the dog under the dining room table? And all that produces is anxiety.
39. What taboo do you think should be discussed more, if any? Alternatively, do you think a topic that isn't taboo should be?
Well, I'm not sure if this is really a taboo, but because we are a highly-medical aware and medically needy group of people, but amongst our crowd (family, friends, acquaintances, random FaceBook people), as long as you are using medical-textbook terminology, pretty much nothing is off the table regarding human body/surgical/surgical instrument/disease/symptom/and person with said symptom (referenced respectfully, may they be alive or deceased). Like, for example, I had XXX procedure done, and though the surgery was smooth, the aftermath, or the way the tube was meant to be placed in the stoma, was exceedingly painful. My youngest, who is nearing preschool age/size, had a doctor who recommended XXX among a few other options for surgeries he could have in the future to help manage his care. Because we have all openly discussed my time regarding XXX, we know for sure that little guy will not be having that done to him.
And what should be taboo? This is like, insanely specific, but I used to work in an environment where there were a ton of "boomers" who did a certain job on the campus, and then there was a another section of the campus where pretty much everyone was a young Gen X or Millennial. We would pretty much only cross paths in the breakroom or at company-wide assemblies. This was during the time I was bodybuilding, and my best friend/coworker JW, who is Muslim, was observing Ramadan and subsequently taste-testing his wife's new vegan cookbook. The pair of us got so much flack for putting things in and out of the refrigerator in the breakroom, like a salad in a tupperware, while all these guys in their 50s were sitting around with, like, KFC takeout... It was atrocious. Except for some situations, like doctor-patient conversations and people needing a tube-feeding diet, don't get in people's business about what they eat. Maybe say "I made yummy banana muffins, would you like to try one?" but never make fun of someone's food. Don't compare it to animal food, or call it trash, or say it's ew disgusting. It's between a person, their own body, and those they trust to help them take care of themselves. No peanut gallery involved.
93. What are two facts about yourself that are true, but seem contradictory? Or two beliefs you have that seem unlikely to exist together?
This is so entirely nitty gritty that I think many people don't see this difference, unless the consequences of a screw-up make big waves.
So, one of the best things I have ever learned (I think it was in grad school), is that when you speak, you're communicating your viewpoint. If you ensure that's known, you're correct 100% of the time.
If you don't qualify your observation/inference/memory/idea/experience as originally yours, you will be wrong 50% of the time. Anyone can provide an equally weighted, original counter thought. If you're not prepared to accept that, then get ready to read some Wikipedia footnotes, because the only way you can get out of social I'm-better-than-you quicksand is to find original material to back up your point.
Now, that's not to say that there aren't facts. Like, the human knee is not meant to bend with the kneecap rotating backward. Demi plie in first position involves both heels remaining on the ground. Basic anatomy or basic ballet will show students these things, usually to keep them from getting hurt.
But the world is full of false facts too, and a lot of them are actually perpetuated by elementary teachers. Columbus did not sail the ocean blue in 1492. The pilgrims and "indians" didn't share Thanksgiving feast. There is no colon after the word "by" when you're stating the name of the author of a book. The best way to get out of a comma splice is, in fact, to insert a semicolon. The "Elbow Room" Schoolhouse Rock video is incorrect and highly offensive. And you can, by the way, look all of these up.
Reference books are constantly being updated. Canons in games and books and movies can change completely with the next release. It's ok if you get stuck somewhere, or if you have a hard time accepting change. It's ok if you have a hard time accepting someone else's opinion.
What I think is important, though, is to know why you feel how you feel, and know that it's shaped by your unique life experience. It's really cool to dig down to how you learned it and why it sticks in your memory, but the bottom line is, tread carefully and kindly. For everyone.
50. What qualities do you find charming?
I have no clue how they do it, but there must be something on the application for a job at Starbucks that says you must be a tall young adult male-ish presenting human with lots of rainbows and awesome hair and the friendly voice who still knows what I'm talking about when I can't remember the name of the 27-syllable latte I want to try.
Man, I miss Starbucks Sundays at actual Starbucks.
0 notes
KINDA GROSS BUT ANYONE WITH A UTERUS HAS TO DEAL WITH IT SO FUCK IT
MC having the monster of all periods and all the boys or in the middle of it. And when I say the monster of all I mean it. Everything is happening. Clots, bloating, zits/pimples, PAIN, nausea, heat, anger, emotions going crazy, fatigue, headaches, back pain, insomnia, BLOOD, anxiety, aggression, food cravings, irritability, muscle pains and all the other gross and painful shit we have to deal with every month. How do they survive/react
This personally hits home for me 😔.
Before I was on my birth control, I had periods 24/7, all year. I know it's gross, but at my worst I went through 7 of those overnight pads in an hour. I had to go to the hospital for it (And then proceeded to get called a drama queen by a doctor). My cramps were horrible, and man, I still have bad periods but not nearly as bad as that. This is going to be a bit "gross" (Because despite how comfortable we can be discussing them, and how natural the process is, you can still be a bit grossed out by it. I mean blood by itself isn't bad, but sometimes it's like you give birth to placenta and that's pretty gross) but it's also hella fluffy.
Lucifer.
Very unbothered by periods. Out of any natural body process, it's probably the one that bothers him the least.
He pretty much treats it the same as any other basic need. Every bathroom has toiletries that he's got placed in some neat little box and their medications in any available cabinet.
But that's pretty much all he thought was needed.
When he realizes just how bad your periods are, he's a little under prepared. The household isn't exactly equipped to handle this situation, so he, and a few of his brothers (particularly Asmodeus and Mammon), scramble to gather whatever items might be needed from the various corners of the house.
Lucifer grabs you towels for your bed, in case you're the type to bleed through during the night. He finds you a heating pad, rub-on muscle relief creams, and a multitude of pain meds that exceed the typical Midol relief.
He can get a little peeved about your attitude, but knows that you can't really help it. So he'll grin and bare it, and accepts the fact that you're going to be a bit different until this is done.
Mammon
He's not extremely well-versed in the topic of menstruation.
However, I think this is one of those topics that despite not understanding, he automatically is incredibly accommodating.
There's lots of cuddles, lots of playing with your hair, and a lot of nonsensicle rambling that is mostly comforting (but sometimes headache inducing).
He is a little weird about bleeding through though. Not in a bad "You're disgusting" way, but more of a "I'm extremely confused as to what I'm supposed to do in this situation" way.
Thankfully he becomes pretty quick at just wrapping his jacket around you in public if you do start to leak.
He does think a cold wet rag is the secret to everything lmao.
At least it takes away from the hot flashes!
Leviathan
He might be a little embarrassed when there are obvious signs of a period (like blood or toiletries), but otherwise he handles it normally.
Levi doesn't point out your acne. He doesn't mention when you leak onto his sheets during the night. He won't call you out for being a bit more aggressive then usual (or even crying, because sometimes that's just all you can do).
All he does is just be a silent support. It's a nice break from the others tbh.
Like when you're in the bathroom, turn between feeling like you're going to throw up because your contraction-like cramps are wrecking havoc on your entire body, he'll be beside you. Stroking your back, holding up your hair incase you do vomit, and running around for whatever you need.
Definitely the type who, when you ask him to pick up pad/tampons, grabs every size and brand, puts them in the cart as discreetly as possible, then rushes home in a frenzy.
Satan
Satan is just as irritable during your period as you are lmao.
He's absolutely understanding, sure, but I think he feeds off of anger. So the minute you start getting pissy, he does too.
It's like a sympathy period thing, but uh, more linked to his sin then anything else.
Everyone is absolutely tired of you two squabbling by the end of your cycle.
Someone probably tries to lock one of you away tbh. You two are just extremely annoying.
It's even worse that after every fight you guys just cuddle. Like nothing ever happened. And everyone else is just kinda left there tense as hell because you two were arguing over fucking fruit for no reason.
Asmodeus
He's kinda like a big sister in this situation.
Asmodeus will give you acne treatments, run baths for you (always makes sure you don't worry about cleaning out the tub!), and gives you massages that sometimes get a bit spicy (But he always makes sure you're okay to handle it).
Yeah, I'll say it, Asmodeus isn't scared of period sex.
This is like the one time of the month he actually breaks his "strict" diet and junks out with you.
Cue lots of food photos! And a few that he sneaks of you for his personal folder. Expect to see your rather bloated self as a part of his aesthetically set up phone background. He thinks it's cute!!
A lot of body worship and praise is going down. Between him and Beel it's enough to make your head spin.
Beelzebub
This is like prime Beel time.
Cuddles, food, and massages are his speciality.
(Also not opposed to period sex but tbh he's like, extremely concerned about your well being the entire time.)
He's like, always kneading your muscles and thighs. Whenever you get self-conscious about your pre-period or period body, he'll always be ready to lay down a thick layer of praises that seem almost too good to be true.
Always let's you finish the snacks ❤
He gets you heat and cold packs. Well, tries. Somewhere along the line he gets distracted and tends to come back with cold peas instead of a ice pack. Works the same way, just, uh, food driven.
Beel is extremely calm during this whole thing. He rarely ever gets offended by your emotions or aggression either. Probably just pats your head and walks away when you're getting a bit too much for him to handle.
Belphegor
He is like, the biggest fucking asshole, but like in the funniest way.
Genieunly doesn't care about toiletries or whatever, but he's so blunt about it
(What size pussy kinda guy)
Oh you leaked and bled onto his sheets? Go back bed. Throw a towel over it. He'll sleep on that side if you want.
Absolutely no help to your insomnia btw, unless he's like blessed with magic sleeping powers, you're going to need to stay up with someone else.
Honestly though... he's not the best with handling periods but I think he's extremely casual about it. He doesn't look down on you, or your cycle, an does whatever you ask.
Extremely passive lmao.
419 notes · View notes
imaginary-portal · 3 years
Text
Neighbors - Part One
Bucky x Fem Reader
Word Count: ~2k
Summary: Y/N works in the Avengers compound with her boyfriend Jonathan. Bucky Barnes lives in the room next door and finds himself falling for Y/N.
Part Two
Masterlist
Enjoy!
_________
Tumblr media
"Y/N? Are you with us?" Y/N snapped her head up. She didn't realize she was staring off into space. The recent sleep deprivation has been costly. So costly that occasionally she sleeps with her eyes open. This meeting was important to plan the attack for the next mission. "Yeah. Sorry." She looked around the room, embarrassed. Bucky Barnes shifted in his seat. Y/N sparked his curiosity. He'd noticed her when he first entered the room, but he wasn't sure why she was there. Half of the room was filled with Avengers, the other half was experts and strategists. "Any suggestions?" Tony asked her, testing her attention span. "I'll have to think on it." Y/N said casually. "How about we take a lunch break. Clear our minds. Meet back here in 30 minutes?" Steve suggested. "Sorry, no one told me you're in charge of meetings now." Tony remarked. "Come on Tony. Look around. Everyone's tired. We'll figure it out after." Steve did have a point. Y/N wasn't the only one who looked drained.
During her lunch break, Y/N went back to her room, where she took a quick power nap. Bucky followed behind her, realizing his room was right next to hers. He wanted to know who she was, so he waited in his room until the lunch break was almost over. He left his room the same time as her. "Hey neighbor." Y/N said, looking refreshed. "Hi. I'm Bucky." Y/N shook his non-metal hand. "I know. I'm Y/N, I work in strategy." Bucky nodded, walking along Y/N's side in the hall. "Ah, that's why you were so tired. They overwork you." Y/N nodded. "Precisely. But I've never enjoyed a job as much as this one. I mean come on, I get free meals and lodging. Who'd pass that up?" The two of them laughed as they reentered the meeting room. "Y/N, welcome back. I'm ready to hear your ideas." Tony pressured her immediately.
_________
When the meeting finally ended, everyone left to grab dinner. Y/N sat with one of her colleagues, where they continued the discussion of the meeting. Her wandering glance noticed several times that Bucky was looking at her. He was sitting with the rest of the Avengers, who were talking about getting suit upgrades. Even though he couldn't hear her, he liked the way she talked with people. She seemed very enthusiastic and educated. "Oh, you like smart girl over there?" Natasha said quietly as motioned her head towards Y/N. Bucky shook his head, not realizing how long he'd been watching her. "No, I just didn't know who she was." Natasha smiled. "It's fine Bucky. You see him over there?" She pointed to a security guard in the corner of the room. He looked off into the distance to see the attractive man. Bucky looked back at Natasha, who wiggled her eyebrows. "We all have a normal person that we're interested in." Bucky looked back at Y/N and watched as a man approached her, interrupting her conversation. Y/N looked up at the man with a smile. The man bent down to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Natasha hissed. "Oh, she's taken. Sorry bud." Bucky looked down at his food, no longer interested in anything beyond his plate.
_________
The next day, the team had a successful mission. It did include some hasty improvising that Tony planned to discuss with Y/N about. He was still wearing his iron suit and had scratches on his face but he wanted to be sure Y/N wrote down his critiques. Y/N walked outside, seeing the Avengers standing in a circle, Steve and Natasha sitting on the ground. A medic cleaned up their wounds as Y/N spoke with Tony. Bucky watched the conversation keenly. Y/N took notes and was very receptive to the critiques. For a moment she seemed to be more patient with Tony than Steve was. That was, until she disagreed with Tony on something. Tony claimed that a mistake was due to her strategy but she believed it had to do with his suit. "Let's test it right now. Stand up there, fly down and blast that trash can." Y/N was confident. Tony did as she said, proving her to be right. "I'll let you get away with that for now." Was all Tony said before walking inside. Y/N scribbled something down in her notebook, smiling to herself. When she looked up, she caught eyes with Bucky, maintaining her smile before walking inside.
_________
The team split up for the next mission. Each strategist was assigned an Avenger to tackle individual weaknesses. Since Y/N showed up pretty well to Tony, she got promoted to Chief Strategist. Therefore, she was given the hardest team member to work with: Bucky. Bucky was only hard to work with because he doesn't engage with people often. He likes to have a plan and the less that plan involves other people the better. What Y/N would find, however, is that Bucky is easy to work with, so she didn't exactly understand what people meant by that.
Y/N entered the meeting room with a computer and notepad. Bucky sat at the table, relieved to see Y/N as his strategist. Y/N sat across from him and logged onto her laptop. "So, what do you feel is your biggest weakness on missions?" She stood up to plug her laptop into the projector. Bucky watched her as he tried to think of his answer. "I guess it would be that I can't fly so I'm always stuck on the ground. I rarely have a height leverage." Y/N nodded, sitting back down. "What if I told you that doesn't really put you at a disadvantage?" Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "I mean, if flying was the main priority for a mission, only half of the team would be going. After looking at some of Tony's footage, it looks to me that your main weakness is your range." Y/N played a clip on the projector that showed Bucky falling because he couldn't reach behind him. "That metal arm isn't so flexible, yeah?" Bucky sat, astonished. "Yeah, you know what, you're right. I never realized that before." Y/N nodded, typing something on her computer. "So I scheduled you some training sessions this week. They're gonna teach you some new combat moves and flexibility, so it shouldn't be as much of a problem anymore." Bucky nodded, content with the plan.
"Wow. That was easy." Y/N said. "They told me you were the hardest to work with but if I was with Tony I'd be in a meeting for hours." They both laughed as Y/N shut her laptop. "So how's the compound life treating you?" Y/N switched topics. Bucky shrugged. "I mean I can't complain. I've spent a lot of time living in torture chambers." Y/N nodded, understanding the seriousness of the conversation. "I read that in your file. Are you getting any help for dealing with that stuff? You know, mental health is just as important as your physical health." Bucky shrugged again, not really answering her question. "Well there's a lot of resources here so use whatever you need. Not to sound corny, but I'm also available if you ever need someone to talk to. You know where my room is. My door is always open, unless my boyfriend is sleeping, in which case I advise you not to come to our door." Y/N laughed, realizing the ramble she went on. “Wanna grab lunch? I’m starving.” Bucky took up her offer, walking by her side in the halls. Along the way, he got a whiff of her perfume, which was a pleasant and enticing scent.
“Are you single? I can hook you up with my friend Clara. She’s the sweetest person you’ll ever meet.” Bucky shrugged, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Thank you but I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” Bucky lied. To tell the truth he was lonely. To tell another truth he was interested in Y/N. “Understandable.” Y/N said as Bucky swallowed his food. “So what’s your boyfriend like?” Y/N bit her lip as she thought of the perfect way to describe him. “Jonathan works over in aircraft. He’s very logical, focused. He has big plans here.” Bucky raised his eyebrows. “What about you? Do you have plans here?” Y/N nodded, poking around at her side salad. “I do, but they’re not as ambitious as his, you know? I’m already Chief of Strategy so I’m not sure how much further I can go.” Bucky shook his head. “Don’t limit yourself. I can tell you got potential.” Y/N smiled at his compliment. “Thanks Bucky, you’re a nice guy. What about you? Do plan to stay here, work government contracts?” Bucky nodded. “For now. But I guess wherever Steve goes I’ll go.” Y/N awed. “That’s sweet. I love a good friendship.” They both sat in an awkward silence as they thought of something to say. “What do you do for fun?” Bucky scrunched his eyebrows. “I don’t do anything.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Come on. You gotta do something. You like music? Movies?” Bucky shrugged. “40s music is nice.” Y/N's eyes beamed. "Oh you must know Frank Sinatra, yeah?" Bucky nodded. "Yeah he's all right." Y/N took a large bite of food. "Classic." she said with a mouthful.
"Well, well, well, if it ain't two troublemakers." A man approached the table from behind Y/N. "Jonathan!" Y/N said, excited. She pulled out the chair next to her and the man took a seat, plopping his food on the table. "As you may know, this is Bucky." Y/N tried introducing the two, and Bucky corrected her by saying "James" as he shook Jonathan's hand. Y/N's eyebrow wrinkled. "You do nice work out there, kicking ass." Jonathan complimented as he began eating. Bucky nodded and looked down at his food, no longer interested in conversation. "How's aircraft today?" Y/N asked Jonathan. "Stupid, as usual." Y/N playfully rolled her eyes, but Bucky took him seriously. "What's stupid about it?" Jonathan swallowed and wiped a crumb out of the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "Everyone is so caught up in team work when sometimes things could be faster if we just worked alone." Y/N chuckled to herself. "Easy for you to say when you know everything that goes on there. Not everyone is as advanced as you." Bucky held back an eye roll, growing a distaste for the way Y/N was feeding the man's ego. Jonathan caught onto this, sensing a feeling of disapproval from Bucky. "You'll see. Things will be better once I'm promoted to supervisor." No one replied, instead eating more food.
"So how did you two meet? Is Bucky not logical enough or something?" Jonathan tried cracking a joke. "No, we just split up into groups so everyone needed help." Y/N rebutted. Jonathan shook his head. "They just say that to make the weaker ones feel better. The airborne Avengers: Iron Man, Vision, Falcon, their combat is much more calculated, less error." Y/N smacked Jonathan's shoulder. Bucky expressed an eye roll this time. He didn't know why he was still sitting with this obnoxious couple. "Be nice. And that's not true. Remember when I told you I proved Tony wrong about his suit versus my strategy?" Jonathan shook his head, a confused look on his face. "Well anyways, that's how I got promoted. I'm at a higher rank than you now." She stuck her tongue out a Jonathan, who gave her a kiss on the lips, smirking at Bucky as he pulled away. Y/N regained composure, wiping a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry Bucky. I promise he's nice when he opens up to you." She looked at her watch. "Shit. I have a meeting in five minutes. I'll see you guys later." Y/N quickly grabbed her bag, gave Jonathan a kiss on the cheek, and promptly left. The two men sat in an awkward silence. Jonathan swallowed the last bite of his food, glaring at Bucky.
"You don't go taking my girl, got it?" Asshole. Bucky nodded affirmatively, picking up his trash and leaving the table. ——————
Copyright © 2021 imaginary-portal. All rights reserved
88 notes · View notes
Text
Of Academic Interest
Tumblr media
Fandom: Indiana Jones
Collection/Series: Tribute to/Part of @alloftheimaginesblog ‘s ‘Secret’s Out’ Saga world.
Pairing: Indiana Jones x Plus Size Female History Lecturer Reader (Glasses are mentioned very briefly)
Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long
Rating: T 
Warnings: N/A
Summary: You’re one of the newest history lecturers and Indiana turns up to watch your open lecture on the Cult of the Beautiful Dead
Notes: I love Angela’s Secret’s Out Saga, i’m happy that I get to send her requests and see the amazing things she writes for it and lately i’ve been getting the urge to write something for the world/au/series. 
This is a homage, a tribute, to it, obviously none of this is canon unless Angela says so. 
This is set before Indy and the Reader are dating.
All facts come from an essay I did at university on the Cult of the Beautiful Dead, which I also did an hour long presentation on. 
Comment and Feedback Form
Taglist Form
You were relatively new to the history department at Marshall College and were somewhat of a novelty to students and staff alike having only been there for a few months. Being one of the few female professors and on top of that specialising in some more taboo or ground breaking historical takes on the history of gender and sexuality, you had successfully caused quite the stir. 
The majority of your colleagues were accepting, happy to have you and generally interested by your studies and research. Despite being relatively new to academic teaching they were supportive, although there was a small subsection of the humanities department who, in typical old man fashion, talked down to you, treated you like a coffee girl and disrespected your expertise. You had taken to stealing their students from their modules and attracting them to your modules instead as a passive form of fighting back.
Students were clamouring to be taught by you, to get onto the list for your modules or to get to see your open lectures. You were the only member of the faculty who talked about the more riveting elements of history such as prostitution, sexualisation, and even ghosts. In comparison to the same lectures on Anglo-Saxon England and the Civil War, you were significantly more interesting to the student population. That did not, however, remove sexism within the student population. While female students actively enjoyed your lectures, got involved more so than in other modules, and felt a sense of comfort in a more female friendly space, you found that a small portion of the student male population tried at every turn to either explain your own specialism to you or to discredit you. You had long since taken to finding it rather amusing, especially when most of those individuals were failing your course. 
You had been asked many months ago to prepare an open lecture on the history of surgery and medicine, the faculty head had told you to pick any topic you wished so long as it was well researched and you could put on a good lecture for the student population. For some it might well be their first ever history lecture, for others it was just an addition to their usual workload, nonetheless you’d chosen a topic that was of interest to you and that you felt confident presenting. 
Standing before a podium in a large lecture hall, you push your glass further up the bridge of your nose and flick through the pages of notes in front of you to temporarily distract yourself from the crowds of people that were slowly making their way inside and to seats. It was a large hall, one that could hold upwards of 200 people and despite years of public speaking under your belt there was always an anticipation, a sense of nerves, before you began a lecture or presentation. 
You checked the microphone on the podium, happy to find it in working order and smiled at a few familiar faces in the front row, some of your students who had apparently decided to spend their free period listening to you talk some more. Checking the time you waited a few more minutes before choosing to start, letting the last stragglers find a seat or for those unlucky enough to stand at the back after all seats were filled. It was a large turn out and you could feel those nerves buzzing in the pit of your stomach as you cleared your throat and picked up your notes. 
“Good morning, everyone! Thank you for coming despite your busy schedules to hear me drone on once more about dead people,” Light laughter and small chuckles filled the space as you began, your students looking at each other with a shake of their heads. “Today i’m going to be talking to you about something called the Cult of the Beautiful Dead in Victorian medicine. Specifically surgery.” 
You find yourself drifting from the podium, pacing across the stage even as this requires you to speak louder without the microphone. There is a familiar energy in your body that demands you move as you speak, to expend it in some physical way. “The Cult of the Beautiful Dead pervaded the world of art within the 18th and 19th centuries. It has been defined as ‘a subjective fascination with idealised images of the deceased in such a way that permanently embalmed bodies and stable images displace and replace impermanent reality’, but I would characterise it within medical and surgical art somewhat differently.”
You stop briefly, give yourself time to breathe and them time to process your words, in that brief moment your eyes glance across the crowd and spot a familiar face that makes your cheeks warm and your heart stutter. Professor Henry ‘Indiana’ Jones Junior. 
Professor Jones was known throughout the history and archaeology department for his digs, his finds, and his immense knowledge, that and his good looks and charming persona. He was friendly, enticing, handsome, and treated you as an equal. While you could not consider yourself friends, you did have a healthy respect and rather decent crush on the man. In fact, the only reason you weren’t friends, you suspected, was your inability to talk around the man without stuttering. He had no reason to be at your lecture, but he’d come anyway, in fact it looked as if he were the only member of the archaeology department present. 
You forced yourself to tear your eyes away and continue, “It is the idealised image of the female body on the dissection room table or the surgical bed with her flowing hair, her soft, pale skin, her perfect, unharmed nature and her sexualised passivity which characterises the Cult of the Beautiful Dead within medical art. On your seats you would have found copies of a painting by Henri Gervaux and an illustration by Hasselhorst, I will be talking today about these pieces of art and how they fit in with the realities of the dissection room.” 
You move across the stage again, wait as they find out their papers and find yourself looking over at Dr Jones again. He is intent in his observations of the papers in his hands, interested, actively engaged and that is a bigger compliment than anything you think. It would be heartbreaking, you decide, if he were bored by or disinterested in your lecture. While you don’t need his approval, you are an academic in your own right, you do desire it. 
You continue on when he looks up, shifting your eyes away quickly, “In the 19th century women were less likely to be patients of surgeons than men and even when they were operated on they were by no means symbols of the Cult of the Beautiful dead. See Before the Operation by Henri Gervaux,” You wait for them to find the print of the painting, “It is a portrait of Dr Pean, a French Surgeon, and depicts the moment before an operation on a young woman and fits into the ideal of the Cult even though the woman is anaesthetised and not dead.” 
In this fashion you continue your lecture, moving across the stage discussing the sexualisation of the female body in medical art and the realities of surgery in comparison. You’re highly aware of Dr Jones’ eyes on you as you move across the stage, to the point that you stumble at points in your oration. As time goes on you find yourself relaxing under his gaze, accepting that he is here purely out of interest, not to judge you or pass criticism. His active engagement with your lecture, the notes you can see him scribbling down in a notebook, is rewarding and reassures you that he is enjoying himself even on a topic so far removed from his own studies of ancient civilisations and centuries old artefacts and skeletons. 
You reach the end of your lecture, returning to the podium and straightening your skirt, “Are there any questions?”
Hands pop up across the room, but it is one in particular that you are drawn to. You don’t expect him to ask questions, you don’t expect him to have any, but you are a little scared to hear what he has to say. It shouldn’t scare you, this active academic engagement, the meeting of minds, but you so desperately do not want to make a fool of yourself. 
“Dr Jones?” You gesture for him to go on and ask and he stands in response. Tugging at the tweed waistcoat and adjusting his glasses on his nose.
He smiles at you as he begins, “Dr Y/L/N,” He addresses you by your title, formal and respectful. You are reminded, once more, that he has never failed to treat you as an equal. Unlike some of the other male professors, “I was just wondering what your opinion was on the eroticisation of death in this period?” You let out a little laugh, for no reason other than a little relief at the ease with which you can answer that question. 
“Thank you for your question Dr Jones, well art such as Hasselhorst’s helped to eroticise death in the 18th and 19th centuries, death became equated with beauty, even if the reality of the dissection room failed to live up to the standards of the Cult of the Beautiful Dead. What we see is death portrayed often as a young woman. She is often portrayed as beautiful with long flowing hair, a fair face, a soft pale body, naked, open to the eye and most importantly passive. The dead woman in this period is a passive object, dead, yet sleeping, immortally captured at her most beautiful and unable to object to any sexualisation or objectification. She cannot talk back. Death is an obsession of the Victorians and it’s prevalence in medical art like Hasselhorst’s shows just how deeply connected death, beauty and the erotic became at this time.”
“Do you think we’ve continued that desire for passivity today? The way in which we expect women to act?” 
“What do you think, Dr Jones?” You turn the question back on him, eager to hear his opinion, knowing that your own certainly sees the way 1930s society demands passivity from women even if death is no longer eroticised in the same way. 
“I think we’ve perpetuated that desire for passivity from women within our society, demanded they hold their tongue, keep themselves in check and in place and as objects of desire, but not too much or else they’re no longer respectable. I think we expect women to be passively sexual, unknowingly so, innocently so, yet they must be attractive else their worth is diminished. An outspoken or intelligent woman is demeaned, pushed out from academics or workplaces. Don’t you agree?”
“I do.” You take a moment, give him a smile before answering the next question and the next and the next. You expect him to leave like many of the other members of the audience once his question has been answered, instead he stays, listens to your responses to each question and pays you rapt attention. 
You find yourself even more interested in Dr Jones than you were before. His acknowledgement of the treatment you and other women have faced when attempting to make a name in a career or in academics is refreshing and his engagement with your lecture is enjoyable and endearing. You curse him a little for making your crush, your infatuation deeper simply by coming to your lecture. 
You find yourself packing up your notes at the end, listening to the sound of feet leaving as you grab your notes and stuff them into your leather satchel. A tall shadow falls over you as you heft the bag onto your shoulder and you smile up at Dr Jones as he stands before the podium notebook in hand, he folds the glasses off of his nose and pockets them. 
“How did you enjoy the lecture, Dr Jones?” You run an anxious hand through your hair and twist your wide hips in a nervous movement, always finding yourself a little flustered when one on one with the man. There’s a part of you that worries about coming under scrutiny from him, the part that has so often been judged in life for your gender, your area of study, and your weight. Years of nasty comments, suggested diets and family obsession with the size of your body had created a paranoia almost, a sense of expectation. You were just waiting for the scrutiny to be voiced.
“It was one of the most interesting lectures I've had the pleasure of watching. You should write a book, it might be a worthy next research project and please call me Indiana.” 
“Only if you call me by name. I think we can both drop the doctor? I wasn’t expecting to see you here, I...I didn’t think the Victorians would interest an archaeologist.” In truth the idea of Indiana Jones wanting to learn about people not long dead, a period which rarely requires archaeological excavation and has few true mysteries, had never crossed your mind. 
“In all honesty?” There’s a pause as he looks away from you with a charming smirk before turning back to you, teeth showing through his smile. “You interest me. I’ve read all your books, all your papers, every time you lecture I stop at the door and listen. You’re a compelling orator.”
“You listen to my lectures?” You can feel warmth flooding your cheeks, your neck, your ears at his admission. Feel a familiar sense of butterflies flapping about in your stomach. You look down briefly, smiling at the ground before meeting his blue eyes again.
“When I have time, surprised you haven’t noticed me hovering in the doorway. You really are one of the best academics I've ever met.”
“I...thank you.” You’re a little lost for words, you have barely shared more than a few polite conversations with Indiana, too intimidated to talk in depth with him and yet here he is extolling your values and praising you. 
“Don’t let Dr Carr convince you otherwise.” He taps his fingers in a rhythm on the wood of the podium, looking away from you and towards the door where you can see the much older Dr Carr standing waiting impatiently for you to leave the room for his next lecture. 
“You heard...the other day.” You think back to the argument you’d gotten into with the old professor over his sexist attitude towards you, his constant demeaning comments. You had thought it had been a private argument, but it seems not. You were still rather angry about the whole thing in truth.
“Yeah, look he’s old school. Doesn’t think women should have degrees or PhDs, ignore him. You’re a better academic by far and he’s just angry that he’s been passed over for the chair again. He’s a washed up old academic, he’s only still got a job because the Dean feels bad for him.” He says the last part loudly, on purpose you’re sure, loud enough for Dr Carr to hear and turn a glare on him. You know he won’t say anything to him though, Dr Jones was the university’s prized archaeology professor, he brought in more artefacts than the other’s combined and more students. Dr Carr wouldn’t say a bad word against him. Couldn’t. It was enjoyable to watch the old fuddy professor go red in the face and huff at the doors. 
“I don’t know what to say. I...Thank you. I know we don’t...we don’t really talk, but thank you, I. It’s been hard joining the faculty, it’s a very masculine environment and I...it’s nice to know there’s someone in my corner.” You think to your Grandfather telling you that academics would make you barren, cause you to go insane, think to your mother telling you to find a nice husband and settle down, that you should desire the life of a housewife alone. It has been very difficult simply getting this far and to know you have him in your corner, someone in your corner means a great deal, in a new city, a new job, a new career. 
“Always.” The two of you stand there in silence, just staring at each other, despite the impatient noises being made at the door by Dr Carr. You grip the satchel strap tighter over your shoulder and tuck your hair behind your ear. 
“Would you like to get some coffee?”
“Now?” You don’t have any more lectures for the day, just your office hours later to answer any student questions, but the offer still surprises you. 
“Yeah, I don’t have a lecture until later and...if you’re free I have more questions.” He holds up the notebook, little post notes coming out of the side, it’s thick from writings and usage. It flatters you that he’s so interested in what you have to say, in your mind. You think it might be more of a compliment than anything physical. 
“So it’s entirely professional then, Dr Jones?” You’re not sure where the confidence comes from to cause the words to fall from your lips, to cause a little smirk to lift at them as you look at him over the top of your glasses. Flirtation is one area you are not confident in, despite it all. 
“Well, I wouldn’t say entirely, sweetheart...I’d like to get to know you better.” He’s utterly too charming for his own good you think and too charming for your poor little heart, but despite any concerns you have, any worries about his intentions you still find yourself agreeing. You’ve wanted to get to know him better for so long, too scared to talk to him in more than passing that you can’t let this opportunity pass you by. Refuse to. 
“That sounds...lovely.” 
“Shall we?” He offers his elbow out to you and you take it, wrapping your arm through his and pulling yourself to his side. He is taller, broader, and warmer than you. He smells woodsy and a little like black coffee and everything about this moment has your heart skipping a beat. 
“We shall.”  
You take great pleasure in the dissatisfied sneer on Dr Carr’s face as the two of you walk arm in arm out of the lecture hall. 
                                                            ----
Taglists: 
@charradelange @belfry-bat @gabile18 @beccaboo929  @trasheater
180 notes · View notes
shyficwriter · 3 years
Text
Temporary Home: Chapter 12
Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)
Summary: You want to make a run into town, but you're forced to take one of the Guardians with you if you want to leave. Guess who get's the pleasure of annoying you? If that wasn't bad enough, someone decides to show up at your door...
Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning
Author’s Note: For my records, this is day 17 of the Guardians living with reader.
Word Count: 6,751
"Where you going?"
You turned and looked towards the source of the voice, Peter's voice, coming from a door to the kitchen. You had just grabbed your keys from the kitchen counter and you were finishing up the short list on your phone.
Obviously you had intended to quickly run your errands the other day when you planned to take the raccoon corpse into town to be tested, but when Fury showed up having brought his own doctor and lab to test the raccoon on site, and also sentenced you to wearing your arm in a sling, you obviously hadn't done that.
It had been a couple days since then, you having wanted to get used to the sling a little bit before attempting to drive. You knew it still wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do, but you really wanted out of the house.
"Just running into town," you say, not paying him much mind.
"Why?" he asked, his tone weighting the word, almost as if he wanted to tell you that you weren't allowed.
You look up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Because I need to? Ya know, check the mail, pick some stuff up, post a few bills?" You knew it could all wait, and the bills could be paid online if you really needed to, but he probably didn't know that. "Unless you need something I really don't see what it is to you." You weren't meaning to sound like a dick, but he was acting weird. You didn't like his tone, and his weirdness was only emphasized when you start to approach the doorway to exit the kitchen but he didn't move.
His eyes briefly went to your arm in the sling-brace. "Don't you think you should be taking it easy?"
That's what it was. Knew it. You roll your eyes so hard one might think they'd get stuck. "I'm literally fine." You make a shooing motion but he still doesn't move. Sighing, you make your way toward the other door, only to hear him jogging up the hall to meet you there, the sound making you pause before completing the distance, rolling your eyes before continuing on to see he had indeed done just that. You awkwardly cross your good arm with the one in the sling. "Can I help you?" you say irritably.
Gamora entered the kitchen from the other doorway and you looked to her. "Can you please make your boyfriend stop being annoying?" you ask.
"I'm afraid that's impossible," she quipped with a slight smile, "Why? what's he doing now?"
By now Peter had entered the kitchen through the doorway he had been blocking. He ignored Gamora's quip about him being forever annoying and said, "She's trying to leave, I don't think it's a good idea."
"Well, lucky for me, you're not my boss," you say, admittedly a bit childishly.
Peter then donned a smug grin. "You're right. She is." He nodded in Gamora's direction, referring to the task Fury had assigned Gamora, essentially making her your babysitter as punishment for you neglecting to seek medical attention for your arm.
Your nostrils flared in irritation at him bringing it up and Gamora gave him a look that clearly stated she was uncomfortable. No one had mentioned the incident since the first day. You, because you didn't want to be reminded Fury was treating you like a child, and the others for pretty much the same reason, seeing no reason to provoke you, especially since you were seemingly behaving. (Again, aside from Rocket, but you had taken to keeping your earbuds in for most of the time, so if he did act like a dick to you it often fell on deaf ears.)
"Peter, I really doubt Fury intended for us to keep her locked inside." Gamora said, having assumed Peter was only wanting to refuse to let you go out for a walk, which she didn't understand, because he hadn't said anything when you took one the other day.
"Well I really doubt she's supposed to drive like that."
Finally understanding the issue Gamora grimaced. Peter was probably right.
Just then Yondu and Kraglin came into the kitchen looking to make something to eat, but saw the tense atmosphere.
"What's goin' on?" asked Yondu with a raised eyebrow. He hadn't heard any fighting coming in, but the way you were standing between Peter and Gamora almost implied someone was getting into it.
Peter spoke up, stating how you were looking to make a run into town and how he thought it was a bad idea for you to drive, only he phrased it to group him and Gamora together as having the thought, which prompted Gamora to say back to him that she actually hadn't given her opinion on the situation yet.
Yondu eyed you, or more specifically the brace on your arm. "Can ya drive like that?"
"Yeah." you reply. It was true, the arm in the brace wasn't the one you'd need for changing gears or signaling, so you should be fine, even if truthfully it'd be better if you didn't.
Yondu shared a glance to Kraglin and then shrugged. "Don't see a problem then." He turned toward the pantry, Kraglin following his lead, before he added, "Long as ya take Quill with ya."
You blinked. "Excuse me? Why would I- That's not- I'm not-" You were caught off guard and were now sputtering, clearly not thrilled with his addendum.
Yondu grinned at Kraglin, who was wondering where the elder was going with this, before saying nonchalantly, "If you're too nervous to take a passenger like that, then ya don't need to be going alone."
"I didn't say that!" you countered, pushing down the fact that the thought actually had entered your mind. "Maybe I just don't want to be annoyed by him- and I actually don't know if I can take him. That was never discussed." Again, this was also true. The topic hadn't come up. You had no idea if they were allowed to leave the property. Sure, for some it seemed obvious that they couldn't go into public, but you truthfully had never asked and had consequently never been told.
"He's Terran. Not like you'll run into issue there. I s'pose we could always call yer boss and ask..." His tone was laced with a grin as he turned back to face you with a Terran fruit he'd come to enjoy. A pear, he believed it was called. He was sure you wouldn't go for calling Fury, and he was right.
"No, we don't need to do that," you say irritably. Last thing you wanted to do was call Fury for something like this when he was already unhappy with you.
"I do think it'd be better if someone went with you," Gamora finally spoke up. "It couldn't hurt, at least." She was actually leaning towards the "don't let the Terran with an injured arm drive" party, but part of her believed you'd probably be fine and wanted to soften as much conflict as possible. Being transported in SHIELD vehicles she had seen how the insides operated, and it didn't look so complicated that you'd need both arms. It's not as if you were piloting a ship, and if you did wind up needing help, she was sure Peter could figure the vehicle out well enough.
You give her a mournful look and Yondu speaks again.
"But if yer still set on goin alone, I'm sure Gamora there won't mind callin' that Fury feller. Bet ya just wanna get away so ya can take that brace off without gettin in trouble," he said cooly with a grin. Catching the frown Gamora threw his way he added, "An' if she don't, I can always do it myself."
You tilted your head at the man, expression a mix of confused irritation. "First off, no, I'm not just leaving to do that. Secondly, who do you think you are? My mom?" you snarked.
"Nah, but yer acting like a kid. Somebody's gotta knock some common sense in that stubborn head of yers." Yondu replied, unfazed by your attempted insult as he took a bite of the pear and nodded once more to your injury.
You didn't get it. Why would he care? Why did any of them care?? Was it guilt? Because you wouldn't have been injured if they weren't there? You wanted to ask but settled for just sighing in defeat. You looked Peter over. He wasn't wearing a shirt with any alien writing on it, so at least he wouldn't get any funny looks for that. "Fine," you relented. "Get ready."
Peter let out a triumphant laugh and said he was already ready to go.
You took a moment and opened a couple drawers before finding what you were looking for. "Take these just in case." You tossed him a pair of black sunglasses. "You'll look like a douchebag, but you're probably used to that."
Peter let out a, "Hey!" but you ignored him, making your way past the others to the front door, telling Peter to hurry up.
***
"Can I drive?" Peter asked as the two of you walked to your vehicle.
"Absolutely not." you answered back with an incredulous glare.
"Why not? It'd be easier to let me drive than you try to drive with your arm in that."
"Because I seriously doubt you have a drivers license," you begin to say. Peter opened his mouth to retort but closed it again when you added, "that would be valid here." You open the driver's side door and add, "And because I don't even know if you know how to drive."
"I'll let you know I've been flying a ship since I was ten!" Peter countered.
"I don't care." you reply. "You're not driving. I can't risk us getting pulled over and you not have a license. You're fully free to stay here if you have a problem with that." You gesture back towards the house.
Peter disappointedly huffed but got in the passenger seat. You won this round.
***
Once you and Peter had left out the front door Yondu grimaced. "Might've miscalculated that one..."
"What'dya mean?" Kraglin asked. Gamora also gave him a funny look.
"Thought fer sure tellin' her to take Quill would've made her see that stayin' put wasn't that bad."
"Wait, you were trying to use reverse psychology??" Gamora asked, clearly annoyed.
"If that's what ya want to call it." Yondu shrugged with a frown, watching through the window as you pulled away down the drive, making sure the vehicle looked like it was driving straight. Luckily for you, it was. Otherwise he was fully prepared to whistle and spear a couple of your tires. Kitchen window would've needed replacing too if that happened, seeing as it was closed.
"Doesn't matter what I call it! It didn't work!" Gamora scolded. "If you didn't think it was a good idea you should have just taken our side instead of trying to play games and sending Peter with her!!"
"What'dya mean 'our side'? You were saying she should take someone with her too!"
"I didn't mean it!" Gamora snapped back.
Kraglin looked uncomfortable, not liking the feeling of being stuck in the room while the two of the more intimidating Guardians argued. Not wanting to draw attention to himself by leaving he just stood there and nibbled at his protein bar.
"Calm down, missy." Yondu said. "It'll be fine. And if not, Quill's got one of those phone things SHIELD gave us. Boy can handle himself."
Gamora glared but didn't speak any further, choosing instead to grab an apple off the table and head to her room. Yes, it likely would be fine, but it didn't mean she felt good about it.
***
After several minutes of driving in silence Peter tried to make conversation.
"So... lotta trees out here..."
"Uh huh."
"You make these trips into town often?"
You shrugged.
"I can see you don't feel much like talking..." Peter said awkwardly. You obviously weren't pleased with taking a passenger.
You turned on the radio in response.
Peter tried again after a few minutes when the music cut to a commercial break, trying a different tactic. "So, why are you afraid of doctors?" he asked, turning the radio down.
You gave him a strange look. "What? Where'd you get that idea."
He went into how you seemed tense when the doctor was checking you over when Fury came, and then recounted an incident that had happened the other day.
You had been reading in the sitting room when Mantis came in. You overheard her tell Gamora that her throat hurt, and so you pulled a lozenge from a drawer in the nearby table, telling her to suck on it and to tell you if it still hurt in an hour. If it did, you'd contact SHIELD to inform them she needed to see a doctor. Hearing this, Kraglin had piped up and asked why you would see that Mantis got a doctor straight away, but you had to have one forced on you. You gave him a look before telling him that it was different, and left the room before he could ask how.
"I only just put the two together." Peter said. "It must be because you're scared of doctors."
"No," you said flatly. "I'm not scared of doctors. I just didn't need one. If Mantis was sick, she would have needed one."
"But you did need one." Peter countered. "And Agent Hill told me about what you did in Romania. You needed one then too. Why would you do that to yourself unless you were too scared to go see a doctor?"
You exhale out your nose, annoyed that Maria had been telling him your business. "I'm not afraid of doctors, ok? It was an important job. There wasn't the time to stop and say 'Oops, will ya look at that, my appendix needs out. Better put the job on hold so I can find a doctor.' Not when I can do it myself. Happy?"
"She said you nearly died. That doesn't sound like being able to do it yourself. You can't do things like that. It's insane."
Your face hardened. Who did this guy think he was? Telling you what to do, you barely knew each other! "What's insane is a crime ring that traffics children to the wealthy elite for sexual favors," you snap at him. "So I guess I'm sorry if I wasn't willing to compromise the job to go lay in a damn hospital bed."
Peter didn't know what to say to that. He still thought you were insane for performing surgery on yourself, but he couldn't quite find a suitable argument after what you just said. After a moment he asked, "Did... did they get out?"
You knew he meant the kids. You swallowed. "Most of them. I don't want to talk about it." You turned the music back up, and Peter let it go.
The two of you rode in silence for a good bit longer before Peter turned the music back down again to speak.
"How much longer until we get where we're going?" he asked.
"Not long. Another ten minutes maybe. Why?"
"I need to take a leak."
You almost roll your eyes. "Why didn't you go before we left the house?"
"I didn't have to go then!"
A huffed laugh escaped your throat. "Seriously? You're like a toddler." You shake your head and say, "Do I need to pull over? I can if it's an emergency."
Peter almost pouted from the toddler comment. "No, I can hold it."
"Alright. Suit yourself."
About five minutes later you come up to a town, and a few minutes after that pull into the lot of a shop, the first stop on your list.
"I just have to run in here and grab a few things, they'll have a toilet you can use." you say as the two of you got out of the car, adding, "Don't forget those sunglasses. I don't want to take any chances."
He rolled his eyes but put them on anyway.
Upon entering the store you told Peter he'd find the toilet in the back and told him you'd be looking in the spices, pointing in the direction he'd find you when he was finished. You debated going along and waiting for him since he was technically your responsibility, but you decided against it. The shop wasn't too large so you trusted he wouldn't get lost on his own.
You split off on your separate ways and you grab a hand basket before heading towards the spices. You had only browsed for a short while when suddenly Peter was back at your side. "That was quick." you said to him, locating two of the spices you needed and dropping them in your basket.
"Door said it was out of order." Peter replied, sounding almost pouty.
You shook your head and said, "See, this is why you go before we leave the house." You find the last spice you needed and give him a knowing look as you began walking away from the spices.
"Don't talk to me like I'm a kid!" Peter said indignantly, following you as you left the aisle.
"Don't act like one." you reply, turning to find the cleaning aisle. SHIELD had been kind enough to include other basic things like toilet tissue on their supply drops, which you had been grateful for with eight other people living in your home, and the Guardians had already come with their own toiletries like toothpaste and soap, but you were seemingly on your own for cleaning supplies. You were now running low on dish and laundry soap. Gods, there was always laundry now. At least they did their own. Mostly.
"You're one to talk!" Peter retorted, gesturing to your arm.
You glare over to him as you walked. You swore, if you heard one more time about how you were acting like a child just for being stubborn about not seeing a doctor...
"Ow! You did that on purpose!"
"Did not." You said flatly, though you absolutely had smacked him with the basket on purpose. Not super hard or anything, but enough for him to feel it crack him in the knee.
He pinched you on the shoulder.
"Ow!"
"Didn't do it on purpose." Peter mocked.
You were by the dish soap now and so you set the basket down to grab a bottle. However, you were sure to flick Peter on the back of the head before you did.
"You did not just flick me!" he said irritably, retaliating by giving your exposed side a couple quick squeezes.
Your arm jerked down fast as lightening, having been just shy of grabbing your preferred bottle of dish soap. Your cheeks were burning and you looked around as you scolded him in a whisper-yell. "We are in a public shop! Don't you dare start that!"
"You started it," he countered smugly. However, his the smugness was wiped off his face when you gave him a taste of his medicine.
"See how you like it then!" you say, using your good arm to return his actions. You hadn't been positive it would work, but you weren't disappointed to see the playing field leveled when it did.
Peter's eyebrows shot above the sunglasses, his eyes widening as he crippled away from the touch and grabbed your wrist. "Don't! I told you I had to pee!"
"Oh." You had been so busy bickering it had honestly slipped your mind. "Sorry."
"Truce?" Peter offered, releasing your hand.
"Yeah, fine. Truce." you agreed, reaching up to finally grab the bottle of dish liquid, a little embarrassed as you realized how much like children the two of you had just acted. "Just hurry up and figure out if you or your friends need anything before we leave," you say, making your way down the aisle to grab the laundry detergent.
It was Peter's turn to look embarrassed, only for a completely different reason. "Actually, now that you mention it- if it's ok, I was wondering if they sell... "certain"... things here?"
You put the detergent in the basket and begin to head towards the pharmacy section, realizing it wouldn't hurt to pick up some bug spray and more of that gel for the bites. Mantis had a bad habit of getting bit by midges, and most of the others had started falling victim to them as well. You didn't look at Peter as you walked, saying, "You're going to have to be way more specific than that, dude."
Peter's cheeks we turning noticeably pink by the time you looked at him when he said, "You know... um... the things... for "special moments..." he used air quotes and looked quite uncomfortable, even with the sunglasses hiding his eyes. "Um... you know... uh... When two people like each other very much..."
You wanted to cover your mouth to hide your grin, but one arm was stuck in a sling-brace and the other was too busy holding the grocery basket. "Are you asking if they sell condoms here?" You tried really hard to bite back a laugh, but a tiny chuckle slipped out. It wasn't that he was asking for them that was funny, it was the way he seemed like a teenage boy about it, all nervous and such like you'd call his mother on him.
Peter's face was bright red now. "Don't laugh! Just- never mind."
"No, it's totally cool. It's just funny. I mean, we're adults, you can ask for them. Like, at least you're being safe about it." Suddenly feeling in a better mood and wanting to tease him you say, "Unless... do we need to have 'the talk' young man?" Now you really couldn't hide your giggles.
"So not cool!" Peter pouted, hiding his face in his hands.
You nudged him in the arm and pointed him down that aisle and told him he could find what he needed there. You continued up a couple aisles to grab the bug repellent and itch cream.
You met back up and he wordlessly threw what he had retrieved into the basket, barely looking at you as he did so. You held back giggles at his behavior and asked if he knew of anything else you needed to grab before checking out.
Peter shook his head, and you can tell by his expression he's eager to leave the shop and go back to the house. You almost feel bad for laughing, and you get an idea.
"If your friends liked the Oreos I can pick you up some more. We'll pass that aisle to get to the checkout anyway."
Peter nodded and you grabbed another double sleeve of Oreos before walking to check out. You only hoped you wouldn't get stuck with one of those chatty cashiers.
Wouldn't you know it, of course you did. You weren't super familiar with the cashiers despite frequenting this store, but you had become familiar with the fact that you didn't care for the one who's line you got stuck in, not realizing you had until it was too late.
Normally you feel for retail workers. You knew it was a tough job, but this one cashier just didn't know how to get the hint that not every item he scanned needed a comment.
Laundry soap? "Ooh! Great taste in scent!" Spices? "Someone likes cooking! Anything good tonight? Yum Yum! Ha ha!" Bug spray and itch cream? "Oh those nasty midges are out again. I feel you, haha." Cond-? Oh fuck. "Oh ho! Someone's getting luck-ay tonight! Am I right, my dude?" He winked at Peter, who noticed you looked like you wanted to reach across and murder the cashier.
Peter chuckled nervously and tried to smooth it over. At least, that's what you thought he was attempting. "Oh- aha- no. We're not together. We're uh- She's my sister."
You snapped a glare at Peter as you thrust your payment to the cashier and grabbed one of the two bags before storming off, telling him to keep the change. Peter grabbed the other bag and left the cashier standing there, who at least finally had the decency to look embarrassed by his comment.
Peter caught up with you quickly.
"Don't call me your sister. I barely know you," you say grumpily. That wasn't really the full reason it upset you. Peter wasn't your brother. Your brother was gone. Peter didn't get to call you that.
"Sorry, I panicked," he said.
You brush him off. You knew there was no way he could know. "Whatever, let's just leave. Sooner we finish in town sooner we can go back to the house."
You made your next stop to a nearby petrol station to fill up your car and give Peter a chance to find a working toilet. After the two of you successfully completed both tasks respectively, you stopped by the post office to grab the mail and post your bills while you left Peter in the car. On your way out of the post office you caught glimpse of someone across the road and a brick fell in your stomach when they waved, indicating they clearly saw you. You nodded back out of politeness but hurried to get in your car.
You buckled in and looked in the rearview mirror, only to see the person, a middle aged woman in a flowery blouse, walking towards your car, still not quite to the road yet, and waving her arms trying to get your attention.
"Fuck," you say, putting the car in gear to reverse before stopping to put it back in drive to finish pulling away. This would be so much quicker if your arm wasn't in the damn sling, but you still managed even with having to completely stop to remove your hand from the wheel to safely change gears.
"What?" Peter asked, turning to look out the back window once you began to pull forward.
"Don't worry about it- and don't look back!" you scold. You take a peek in your review mirror to see the woman gesturing in defeat, thinking you hadn't seen her trying to get your attention, and you let a small relieved sigh.
"Who was that?"
"No one." you replied.
"So you ran away... from no one. Sure."
You shoot him a look and turn the radio back up, clearly signaling that you weren't about to discuss it. The rest of the ride was spent in silence.
***
Once home you told Peter to put his "special" items (yes, you called them that, air quotes and all, just to embarrass him) in one of his pockets unless he didn't mind advertising them to the rest of his friends. You had assumed he'd be embarrassed if they were just on display for the others based on how he acted in the shop, and the fact that he obeyed implied to you that you were correct.
Once inside you and Peter made your way to the kitchen to put things away. He had refused to let you carry both bags, and you didn't fight him.
Sitting at the table were Kraglin, Yondu and Rocket. On the table were five empty bowls and an empty tub of ice cream.
You sat your bag on the counter and began pulling out it's contents to put them away. Honestly you were slightly bummed that they had finished off the whole thing, if you had known that you might have picked some more up while you were in town, but you didn't say anything about that. You did, however, say something along the lines of "Looks like you guys had fun without us."
Kraglin, who knew you didn't like the house to be messy and knew they were expected to keep up after themselves, began gathering the bowls to put them in the sink, to the eyeroll of Rocket.
"Yup. Ya two missed the party," said Yondu with a chuckle. "I'll admit, that ice cream stuff ain't bad." He then said to Peter, "Yer girlfriend is the only one who didn't want any."
You froze in place, your eyes widened. It hadn't clicked before. Your mind had been preoccupied with other things. Ice cream. Five bowls. There were seven people left at the house. Gamora hadn't wanted any. Tiny Groot probably shared with someone else. Yondu literally said he ate some. That meant... fuck.
You turned around to face them. Looking right at Yondu you say, "Uh, how long ago would you say you guys had the ice-cream?"
"Not quite half an hour ago, why?"
You bit your lips before saying, "Do none of you think to read labels before you eat things?"
Kraglin rolled his eyes playfully as he sat back down. "What? Ya mad we ate your snack?" he teased.
"No no no-" you state, holding up your pointer fingers like a teacher instructing the class on why they were incorrect. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or groan. Probably the later. You look over at Peter, who held a slight grimace on his face. You say to him, "You know what ice cream is?"
Peter nodded. He remembered ice cream. He also knew the moment Yondu claimed to have eaten it what the problem was.
You look back to the others. "Any of you know what ice cream is?"
Yondu and Kraglin exchange a strange look and Rocket rolls his eyes, wanting you to get to the point.
"It's basically frozen milk."
"Ah." Yondu says, clasping his hands on the table and dipping his head with a slight wince of understanding. He was about to have a bad time. Kraglin and Rocket now share a look that can only be described as 'Crap..." (No pun intended)
Disbelieving laughter bubbles up your throat as you bend below the sink to retrieve a can of aerosolized air freshener and plop it down on the table in front of Yondu. "That's for you, for the inevitable. Use it." You walk to haphazardly throw the contents of your grocery bag in the pantry, leaving your mail on the counter and grabbing your earbuds. "Make sure to open the windows... I'm going for a walk, because there's no way I'm sticking around to deal with that again," you say, giving a mock salute as you make your way out the back door, leaving the guys there to deal with what was sure to be the horrible aftermath of their oversight.
*** You finally came back a couple hours later to find all the windows still open, but no one outside, and decided that was probably a good sign.
You cautiously re-entered the house to find that no bad smells seemed to have stuck around and decided to go look for survivors, but first you needed a snack. You were starving.
You ate a pop-tart just for something quick and then found everyone in the sitting room. Feeling in decent humor you said, "Oh good. You lived." This earned groans from the others. They weren't really annoyed with you for abandoning ship, so much as they were annoyed that Yondu would have messed up and ate dairy for a second time. Well, Peter was a little annoyed that you had just left him there when he hadn't been part of who caused the issue, but he'd get over it.
Your phone started to go off, startling you and a couple others in the process. You checked the caller-id and recognized the number. "Nope," you say aloud, ignoring the call.
"Who was that?" Peter asked.
"No one," you reply, only for your phone to chime with a text almost in response. You open the text and your eyes widen before you make your way quickly but calmly to the windows to shut them and draw the curtains.
This, of course, gathers the attention of the Guardians.
"What's wrong?" Yondu asks, perplexed by your behavior.
"Nothing," you answer at first, before turning to face them and amending it to, "Nobody's home," and continuing your task with the other three windows, still trying to retain a semblance of being calm.
The others watched as you made your way about the room, sharing perplexed glances. Once finished with the final window at the back of the room you started heading towards the door when Mantis grabbed your hand.
"Are you ok? What can we do?" she asked, concerned. "Please tell me?" She could feel you didn't want to ask for help, but she hoped her asking nicely might work.
You barely glance at her, don't notice her antennae are glowing. "I'm fine. If you want, I could use some help shutting the rest of the windows and curtains, please and thank you." You pull away and head to the hall, where they can see you draw the curtains on the front door shut through the sitting room doorway.
"I know you said you can ease people into compliance, but I didn't think you could actually make people do things." Peter whispered to Mantis. He naturally just assumed that's what happened. You, miss "I don't need help from anyone!" had actually asked for help. Clearly that wouldn't happen without some Mantis mojo. The closest you had come to asking for help was the first time Yondu had dairy and you wanted Peter to help open the windows, but still, that was less asking for help and more of telling him what to do if he wanted to live.
"I can't." Mantis replied. "She was genuinely asking. She's very nervous."
Peter shared a look with Gamora and Drax stood up from the couch to follow you, and the they followed him along with Mantis.
Yondu and Kraglin stayed in the sitting room with Rocket, who told himself he didn't care about whatever this nonsense was about and continued to play with Groot. Kraglin and Yondu exchanged puzzled looks, because unlike Rocket they were genuinely curious what was going on to make you as nervous as Mantis claimed. Why were you batting down the hatches for?
In the kitchen Drax helped you close the windows and curtains. As soon as he heard Mantis say she felt you were nervous he felt there must be a good reason and that he should probably help you, just in case.
Then you started shutting out the lights, and this increased the other's concerns.
"What's going on?" Gamora asked, authority in her voice as she followed you out of the kitchen. You may be their host, but she still felt they had a right to know what was going on, if they were in danger.
"Nothing." you say, shutting off the lights in the hall on the way to the sitting room.
"If it was nothing you wouldn't be doing this. Something is wrong. Do we need to call SHIELD?" She asked more insistently, not believing you.
You turn to her irritably at the doorway. "No. We don't need SHIELD," you say, flicking the switch to turn the sitting room's light off, much to the puzzlement of those inside.
"I will if you don't tell us what's wrong."
Just then there was a knock at the front door, and you visibly startled in response before freezing in place and whisper yelling, "Quiet!"
The other's obeyed, not sure what else to do or what was going on.
Peter quietly stepped out of the kitchen where he had been peeking through one of the curtains when he thought he could see the dim glow of headlights through the fabric. He saw a blue car pull up next to yours, and out of it stepped a tall man in a light grey sweater and a woman in a floral print blouse. She looked familiar.
"Hey," Peter whispered across the hall, "It looks like that woman from earlier. The one you ran away from."
"Shut up." you hissed.
Gamora looked at the two of you in confusion, but didn't say anything, didn't get the chance, because the knock sounded again and a woman's voice could be heard from the other side of the door calling your name.
"We know you're in there." said the voice. It wasn't angry or confrontational like the others might expect for someone you were apparently hiding from. "Your car's in the drive and we saw you shutting the lights out when we drove up."
You grimaced.
"We just want to talk." It was the man's voice this time.
Peter and Gamora looked at you expectantly, and you shook your head at them. Drax was now standing behind Peter in the kitchen doorway, Mantis having already moved past him to stand next to Gamora in the hall with you.
"Yes, we just want to talk." The woman's voice again. "We saw you in town today, we've been thinking about you."
By now Yondu and Kraglin had made their way closer to the door to better hear what was being said. They didn't care if they were being nosy.
The man spoke your name now, questioningly, as if to ask if you could hear them. "Ok, we understand if you don't want to see us, but please listen; We forgive you, and we're sorry."
You take in a breath, trying to mask your feelings with the others near. They were looking at you. Gamora's face had softened, wondering what the man meant. Forgave you for what? Sorry for what?
"We shouldn't have blamed you for what happened. We know that now." came the woman's voice. "We've had a lot of time to think it over, and we were wrong."
The man spoke again. "We were just hoping you could find it in your heart to forgive us, too."
You felt your chest tighten and you eyes burn, and so you clenched your jaw and your fists, unwilling to show any emotion to the space-strangers in your home, but they noticed anyway.
Peter gestured to get your attention and mouthed, "Open the door."
You shook your head, and he gave you a confused look. You nodded your head towards Mantis and Gamora as if to say, "Um, not with aliens in my hall!" Although that wasn't completely the reason, and you had the feeling he could tell, as he only sighed and frowned slightly in response.
After a pause the woman spoke again. "Alright. We understand you may not be ready yet. Maybe another time. We're still at the same place when you're ready to speak with us. Hopefully that's soon. We'll be going now."
You waited a few moments before approaching the door, and the other's thought you might finally be going to talk to the couple. You didn't, mostly to Peter's disappointment. Instead you peeked through a sliver in the curtains to watch them leave, not pulling away until their vehicle was gone.
As soon as you stepped back from the door Peter asked, "What was that? Who were they?"
"Nothing and no one," you answer, not meeting anyone's gaze as you flicked the hall light back on and walk towards the stairs.
Mantis grabbed your hand, but you pulled away, telling her that you weren't in the mood to hold hands right then and you were going to go take a shower. She just looked down sadly in response, but you wouldn't look at her to notice.
No one stopped you as you walked upstairs, and when you were out of earshot, Drax whispered to Mantis asking what you had been feeling just then, having noticed Mantis had been reading you when she grabbed your hand.
The other's listened in to her answer as she mournfully replied. She hadn't been able to touch you for long enough to get a full reading, but there had been one dominant emotion when she did touch you. You had been sad.
This only rose more questions from the team. Had the couple been been angry with you? What had you done? Why would their forgiveness have made you sad?
Weren't most people happy to be forgiven?
The sound of your bedroom door opening and shutting travelled down the stairs, followed shortly by the same noise of the bathroom door as you entered for your shower.
Yondu almost thought he could hear the faint sounds of crying before the noise was drowned out by the sound of a shower blasting on.
125 notes · View notes
eelhound · 2 years
Text
"Until 1920, the United States was officially a patriarchy. The Supreme Court’s decisions about rights were made entirely by men until Sandra Day O’Connor joined the Court in 1981. It’s still the case that only 27 percent of federal lawmakers are women, which itself is a 50 percent increase compared to how many there were just a decade ago. Women had no input into the writing of the Constitution — John Adams literally laughed off his wife Abigail’s plea to 'remember the ladies' when drafting the nation’s founding charter. ('I cannot but laugh. … We know better than to repeal our masculine systems,' he wrote to her.) The great legal scholars [Supreme Court Justice Samuel] Alito cites for their authority on natural rights are men named Henry, Edward, William, and Matthew, who likely spent their entire careers without once wondering whether women might have valuable things to say on the topic of their own rights.
The implication of this should be obvious, although it entirely escapes Alito: Unless we are still to live in a patriarchy, we can give absolutely no weight to conceptions of women’s rights that came before women were allowed to participate in politics and law. Let us assume that Alito is entirely correct about his history, and that abortions were widely criminalized in the 19th century, and that the idea of a basic right to abortion does come from the 'latter part of the 20th century.' What of it? The laws were being made by men, i.e., they were undemocratic and illegitimate. A court that uses the 19th century definition of women’s rights to decide which rights the Court is bound to protect today is explicitly imposing the past’s patriarchy on the present. It’s a shocking act of turning back the clock, and yet Alito seems unaware that there’s even an issue with citing 'traditional' (i.e., patriarchal) rights to decide which rights women have in 2022.
Alito doesn’t actually discuss why all of a sudden in the 'latter part of the 20th century' the idea of a right to abortion sprang into being, but a little something happened in the 1960s and 1970s called the women’s liberation movement. Abortion rights did not come from a spontaneous whim by Roe’s opinion author Justice Harry Blackmun. They were the culmination of a social movement that arose because women were horrified that laws written by men were causing women horrific suffering and death, and being forced to give birth against one’s will was considered a grotesque violation of women’s rights.
The stories of pre-Roe America are easily found and very disturbing. Underground feminist groups worked to help women procure illegal abortions, though they faced both the possibility of prosecution and serious medical risks. Leslie J. Reagan, in When Abortion Was a Crime, describes the situation:
Public-health statistics revealed an appalling picture of death and discrimination. Health-care workers and public-health officers observed women dying and thousands more hospitalized as a result of a procedure that could be safe but was not because it was illegal. The illegality of abortion had produced a public-health disaster — especially for low-income and minority women. … The risk of dying from an abortion was closely linked to race and class. Nearly four times as many women of color as white women died as a result of an abortion. … The story of Doris B., a twenty-six-year-old black woman in Chicago, underlines the inherent limitations of legalization in one faraway state and of local efforts to provide abortions for low-income women who sought them. Even though the referral service and [the Jane Collective] tried to help all Chicago women who needed abortions, some low-income women never found either organization. The 'tragic event' was, her friend later wrote, 'well-etched in my memory.' Doris B. had four children and depended on welfare to care for them. 'It was a constant struggle to provide for these children,' her friend recalled, 'and she felt that another child was more than she could endure.' Doris B. considered going to New York, but poverty 'made that impossible. Doris chose the cheaper illegal alternative in Chicago.' She died from septicemia following her illegal abortion in 1972, and her children became orphans.
So Roe came about in part because feminist legal scholars made the compelling argument that criminalizing abortion was an unconstitutional deprivation of a basic liberty. The state did not have the right to impose these kinds of horrors on its citizens."
- Nathan J. Robinson, from "The Atrocious Reasoning of Samuel Alito." Current Affairs, 7 May 2022.
7 notes · View notes
bookwrm99 · 3 years
Text
Sweet Dreams pt. 1
So, I've had to switch my medication recently for my anxiety, and it's been a bit rough. I normally have a bit of a problem with nightmares because of stress, but since starting Effexor it's been like... on steroids. One of my ways of coping with my mental health is writing, so I've started working on an Obey Me! series of short fics with each of the brothers comforting an MC who's been suffering from long-term night terrors as a medication side-effect. I debated about whether to post them or not, but ultimately I feel like if they can be comforting reads to someone else in a similar situation to mine, of course I'd want to share them! So, here's part one with Lucifer. Please know this is based on my own personal experiences with my anxiety and medications- mental health isn't one-size-fits-all, and everybody experiences it differently on all fronts. Not everybody will experience anxiety the way MC does in these fics, and that's okay! MC is not meant to be representative of everyone everywhere who has ever dealt with having an anxiety disorder- I personally think such a thing is impossible anyway. That being said, please practice good reader discretion if mental health is a hard topic for you- the last thing I want to do is harm someone else's mental health with my writing. I'll post specific trigger warnings just above the cut, so you'll know exactly what you're getting yourself into before you continue!
Now that the long disclaimer is out of the way... I hope that you enjoy this small fic series, reader! It was cathartic for me to write, and I hope they can bring comfort to others too.
Genre: Comfort with Lucifer x gn!reader (if you squint)
Word Count: 2.2k
TW: Mentions of anxiety and treatments, depictions of anxiety and nightmare aftermath, descriptions of nightmares
Lucifer was worried.
Not that he would admit to it. He was the Avatar of Pride, and as such he had an image to maintain. After all, just because someone fails to reply to text messages and calls- or does something out of their norm, like skipping breakfast- it doesn't necessarily mean there's something dire afoot.
Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Lucifer tried to school his facial features into something close to neutral as his brothers fretted and discussed (Y/N)'s radio silence, and now their absence at breakfast. Mammon was the first to make a commotion about it, of course, causing the other brothers to slowly voice their own concerns about the resident human exchange student.
"I'm tellin' ya, it's just not like them! We ough'ta check on them. What if they caught some kind of weird human disease and died in their sleep?!" Mammon boomed out, fists clenched and resting on the table as he leaned forward over his plate.
"I highly doubt that, Mammon. I don't know of any human disease with such a quick onset and short incubation period before death. Still, it is a bit worrying. Should we make sure they're alright?" Satan, ever the voice of reason, spoke calmly, looking to the eldest to gauge his reaction to his question.
"Maybe they had a late start? I did suggest a new morning skincare regimen for them; maybe they've taken my advice?" Asmo practically crooned, no doubt preening at the thought of a small success with the exchange student- and probably thinking other impure thoughts related to them getting ready for the day.
"They need to make sure they eat. It's no good trying to learn on an empty stomach," Beel interjected, shaking his head and settling a hand on his stomach, clearly appalled at the thought of enduring that kind of experience.
Lucifer kneaded the small ache that had started to form between his eyes from his brothers' bickering and rapid-fire speculations. A sharp pain lanced through his skull from said place when Mammon brought his closed fists down on the table forcefully, rattling the dishes and forcefully pushing himself and his chair back.
"That's it, I'm checkin' on 'em! If all you guys are gonna do is sit around-"
"Enough, Mammon," Lucifer spoke, commanding the attention of all his brothers. A pregnant silence fell over the room as the Morningstar sighed, casually tossing his linen napkin onto the table beside his empty plate as he calmly pushed his chair back to stand. "I will check on them myself. The rest of you are to go about your days as normal unless you hear otherwise."
A couple of the brothers muttered angrily under their breath, but most seemed satisfied with the decision. Without another word, Lucifer strode from the room, leaving his brothers to clean up and be on their way to RAD.
When Lucifer reached (Y/N)'s room, his superhuman hearing picked up soft sniffles from within, heightening his concern about the human. He rapped his knuckles against the solid wood of the door, calling out their name gently but at a volume where he knew he would be heard. When he didn't hear them stir, and nobody came to the door, he resolved himself to intruding upon a potentially sensitive situation. "(Y/N), I'm coming in."
When he opened the door and took a couple steps across the threshold, he panicked a bit at first, not seeing any sign of (Y/N) in the room. Another small sniff allayed those fears, though, and he closed the door softly behind him, making his way into the space as he looked for the human. He finally found them curled up into a small ball on the floor in a corner of the room, out of sight of the door, their face pressed into their knees as they trembled.
The sight in front of him broke Lucifer's heart. (Y/N) had brought such brightness to his and his brothers' lives, showing them the utmost care and showering them with love they hadn't realized they were starved for. To see them like this- shaking with pent-up sobs and white knuckles as they squeezed their hands into fists- was a blow directly to the eldest's normally ice-cold heart.
"(Y/N)," he breathed, slowly approaching as if he was walking towards a frightened, injured fawn. His entire presence softened as he got down on one knee beside the upset exchange student, fighting the overwhelming urge to gently turn their face to his or pull them into his arms. "What's happened?"
(Y/N) shook their head, their arms tightening around their knees. "It's stupid. I'll be fine. Please don't worry about me- I'll be down for breakfast soon."
Lucifer's face pulled down into an even deeper frown at their words, bothered that they were so quick to invalidate themself and push comfort away. "Well- that's why I'm here. Breakfast was over an hour ago, and my brothers are worried about you."
(Y/N)'s head shot up at that, and for the first time Lucifer got a good look at their flushed, tear-stained face. "God- I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to worry anybody- I'm such a burden-"
Lucifer made hushing noises, and unable to restrain himself anymore he sat fully on the ground, pulling the human into his arms as they hiccupped and began to sob. When they didn't push him away and began leaning into him, he tightened his hold, rubbing small circles into their lower back as their tears soaked his left shoulder, all the while murmuring soothing words in their ear. After what seemed like a small slice of eternity, but what in reality may have only been fifteen minutes or half of an hour, the exchange student's tears slowed, then stopped altogether, though silent sobs continued to wrack their smaller frame.
Lucifer lifted his head from where he had rested it on top of theirs, leaning back slightly to see their face as he gently tilted it towards him. Red eyes looked back at him, glazed with exhaustion and something else he couldn't quite pinpoint. Reaching up with a gloved hand, he gently cupped their face in the palm of his hand, wiping away the tears he could reach with his thumb.
"You aren't a burden, (Y/N). You go out of your way for myself and my brothers, doing things nobody asked of you to lift us up and make our lives easier. We've needed somebody like you for a long time now, and if anything we are a burden on you. We worry about you because we care." Lucifer broke the silence, his voice gentle but leaving no room for argument. "I won't push you into telling me what's wrong... but if you would like to talk about it, I promise I will do everything in my power to make things right."
Their eyes wavered, then shifted to the side, a frown continuing to mar their beautiful face. "Lu, I... it means a lot to me for you to say something like that. I just... I don't think there is anything you can do, or anybody for that matter, and not for lack of wanting to."
(Y/N) paused for breath, and Lucifer waited, sensing their internal debate about disclosing their struggle to him. Finally, they sighed, sagging against him as if all the strength had just left their body. "You saw my file," they said flatly, their head against his chest. Lucifer tightened his hold around them once again, pressing his face to the crown of their head and making a small sound of affirmation.
"Did it say anything about my anxiety disorder?"
Lucifer paused. Yes, he had noted that there was a mental health condition in their profile- generalized anxiety, with therapist notes stating it had a strong social skew- but it had never come up in conversation with (Y/N) before, and with how bright and happy they usually were, he thought they might be in remission- either that, or managing it extremely well.
(Y/N) continued on before he could answer them. "Barbatos has been making sure I have my medication- which is great, since of all the SSRIs I've tried it's the only one that seems to help level me out. But, the bad thing is... my doctor didn't tell me that a lot of people experience nightmares while on it, and ever since I've started it, it seems like I'm having them almost every single night." They paused for breath, their entire body tensing up, and Lucifer began to soothingly stroke their bicep with his thumb, where his hand had settled after they shifted. "Most of the time they're really vivid and... weird? Like, I had a nightmare a few nights ago that I was leading an expedition into the far North back in the human realm, and just as we were about to reach an Inuit settlement I got lured over the side of the boat by sea monsters and drowned... which has absolutely no relevance to my life experience. Obviously. But in the moment they're so scary-" They shuddered, then continued, almost as if they couldn't stop themself now that they had started speaking. "And then other times they're those really vague ones- like, running away from something through a deep forest at night, and suddenly you're falling off a cliff. But then there's, like, maybe 25% of them that actually are relevant to me- some of the worst periods and moments of my life- and those-" They almost choked on their words at the end, and Lucifer squeezed gently, worried they might start crying again.
When they stayed silent, Lucifer spoke. "How long has this been going on?"
There was a pause before the human answered, as if they knew he wouldn't be happy. "Since before I was brought here."
Lucifer was shocked. The exchange student had been here for several months already, and he was only just now hearing about this? Another pang lanced through his heart, wondering how many other mornings they had spent like this, and he deeply regretted the thought of them spending so many nights tortured by their own mind, all alone.
"You should have come to me sooner, (Y/N). You didn't have to suffer in silence." Lucifer's tone softened the words, and he again leaned back to get a look at the expression on the exchange student's face.
"I didn't want to be- troublesome. All your brothers have their own commitments and things they do, and you especially have so much on your plate. I didn't want to disrespect anybody's time."
Just when Lucifer thought things couldn't get worse, they did. He could hear their fear of being a burden, even with their carefully chosen words. The exchange student had put themself through months of agony, all because they hadn't wanted to trouble him. The revelation deeply disturbed him. A handful of months was nothing in a demon's life, just a blip, but for a human? That was a very long time.
"You are incredibly important, to all of us. Your struggles are never a waste of our time, even if you feel they're insignificant." Lucifer spoke firmly, trying to put every ounce of the conviction he felt into his voice. He reached up again to gently turn the human's face towards him, meeting their eyes with his own crimson ones. "Please, don't put yourself through something like this again. If I can bring even a small amount of the comfort you've brought me back to you, I would move the heavens to do it. Promise me."
Their eyes glimmered, and their bottom lip trembled. "I promise," they almost whispered, their voice choked up.
Lucifer impulsively brought his face closer to theirs, softly placing a chaste kiss on their forehead. The exchange student sniffled, bringing their hands up to wipe at their face.
"I will talk to Solomon and Satan about any potions they might know of to combat your nightmares. In the meantime, please come find me in the event that they wake you up in the middle of the night. I'm no stranger to night terrors."
When they acquiesced, he smiled, satisfied. "Now, get dressed. I'm informing Lord Diavolo that we're taking a personal day off- no buts." He spoke, already seeing the protest in their eyes and on their lips, which had parted on the start of a word. "We'll do whatever you want. My treat."
Their brows furrowed. "Won't you get in trouble?"
Lucifer stood, bringing (Y/N) up with him. "Not if I'm doing it for the exchange student's benefit. I'll give you ten minutes while I make the call." The softness the Morningstar had displayed was now gone, replaced with his usual composure as he began walking towards the door, fishing his D.D.D. out of his pocket as he moved.
"Lu?"
He paused at the door, turning back to look at the human. Their eyes were glimmering in the dim light of the room, arms wrapped around their waist. Lucifer thought they were about to cry again until he recognized the sheer gratitude in their expression.
"Thank you, for this- and for everything."
Lucifer showed a soft smile, just for them. "Anything for you, (Y/N)."
48 notes · View notes
the-royalscientists · 2 years
Note
I would like to learn more about skeleton biology -✨
Tumblr media
<<Ask and ye shall receive! Transcript under the cut.>>
<<NEXT>> <<PREVIOUS>>
<<FIRST>>
<<Transcript: "OH, WHERE TO BEGIN? THERE HAVE BEEN MANY OBESERVATIONS
I HAVE MADE ON THIS SUBJECT, AND OF COURSE THERE ARE
OTHER WRITINGS TO CONSIDER ASIDE FROM MY OWN! WHILE
BIOLOGY IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT, BUT I HAVE WRITTEN A FEW
PERSONAL NOTES. FOR EXAMPLE, AS SKELETONS DO NOT HAVE
PHYSICAL VOCAL CHORDS, WE USE MAGIC TO SPEAK! THIS MAGIC
LETS US "SEE" THE WAY MONSTERS TALK, IN SPEECH BUBBLES
NEXT TO THEM. TYPICALLY THE FONT IS 8bitoperator, BUT IN
THE CASE OF MY SPECIES, OUR FONT VARIES FROM INDIVIDUAL
TO INDIVIDUAL. WE DEVELOP THESE FONTS ALONG WITH OUR
VOCAL MAGIC AND IS CLOSELY TIED TO IT, INFLUENCING EACH
OTHER. SOME SKELETONS CAN VARY THEIR FONT WITHIN THE
FONT FAMILY, BUT WITH PICTOGRAPH FONTS SUCH AS MINE,
THAT IS NOT THE CASE. THERE ARE OTHER VOCAL QUIRKS I
COULD DISCUSS, BUT I THINK I WILL LEAVE THOSE FOR A
DIFFERENT TIME. MOVING ON! I BET YOU ARE WONDERING
HOW THE BONES STAY TOGETHER. I... HAVE NOT FOUND A
CONCLUSIVE ANSWER FOR THAT YET, BUT FROM WHAT I
HAVE OBSERVED, THE ANSWER IS, ONCE AGAIN, MAGIC. WE
ARE VERY MAGICAL BEINGS. THE MAGIC BINDING OUR BONES
TOGETHER IS COMPARABLE TO CARTILAGE OR TENDONS IN
HUMANS, AND YES, WE CAN CRACK OUR JOINTS. BACK ON
THE SUBJECT OF MAGIC, WE CAN CONSTRUCT SKELETAL FORMS,
SUMMON BONES AND BLASTERS, AND WE ALSO HAVE A SPECIAL
SOUL MAGIC WHICH ALLOWS US TO CONTROL THE DIRECTION
AND GRAVITY OF A SOUL, TURNING IT BLUE IN THE PROCESS.
WE CAN USE "BLUE ATTACKS," AS PAPYRUS AS DUBBED THEM,
WHICH ARE BASICALLY ATTACKS WHERE THE OPPONENT HAS
TO REMAIN STILL OR THEY WILL BE INJURED. IRONICALLY,
WE SKELETONS ARE EXCELLENT HEALERS, WITH SUCH STRONG
TIES TO OUR MAGIC THAT WE CAN PERFORM GREAT FEATS OF
HEALING MAGIC AND SOUL MENDING WITHOUT DEPLETING MUCH
OF OUR OWN SOUL MAGIC. OF COURSE, THE LIMITS OF THIS
ABILITY HAVE NOT BEEN TESTED FULLY, SO I WOULD ADVISE
AGAINST ASKING THE THREE OF US FOR MEDICAL HELP OR
ADVICE, AS WE ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS. ANYWAYS, BACK
TO THE TOPIC AT HAND (GET IT? HAND? BECAUSE OF MY HANDS
OKAY THAT WAS A TERRIBLE JOKE I SHOULD JUST STICK TO THE
SCIENCE STUFF AND LEAVE THE JOKES TO MY KIDS) OUR MAGIC
IS INDEED VERY POWERFUL, OUR SOUL MAGIC INFINITELY SO.
AFTER ALL, HAVING LESS PHYSICAL MATTER THAN THE COMMON
MONSTER MEANS WE HAVE TO RELY ON THIS MAGIC MORE. AS
SUCH, WE ARE SENSITIVE NOT TO PHYSICAL CHANGES, BUT TO
MORE ETHEREAL ONES, WHICH IS WHY WE CAN SHORTCUT,
TURN SOULS BLUE, AND HEAL SO WELL (I AM MAKING UP THIS
HYPOTHESIS ON THE FLY, AND I WILL HAVE TO LOOK INTO IT
MORE, BUT THIS IS PLAUSIBLE, NO?), AS WELL AS ANY OTHER
MAGIC RELATED POSWERS AND ABILITIES WE HAVE. THAT
IS ALL FOR NOW, I THINK. IF YOU WANT TO ASK MY SONS
ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES, FEEL FREE. I BELIEVE SANS
IS AVAILABLE, AND PAPYRUS MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD."
By the way, 8bitoperator is in lowercase because it's the font name and the font name has to be in its original name format unless it's a skeleton's name.>>
10 notes · View notes
avelera · 4 years
Text
Things I just have to assume about the whole “Booker and Copley turn the Old Guard over to Merrick for medical research/to help Booker die” thing:
1) At some point, whatever deal Booker originally made with Copley got double-crossed, or it just failed. I can’t imagine for a second his deal was, “Capture all of us and keep us locked up forever so a sociopath can torture us for profit.” He might want to die but I don’t think he’s that stupid. So, I assume something went wrong. 
Now, maybe Booker was naive, and as an ex-criminal should have known to be more suspicious of Copley, but I can much more easily picture that his depression led him to trusting Copley, whose grief was so sympathetic, when he shouldn’t rather than that his depression led to him not giving a fuck about his family getting captured.
2) The plan was never supposed to be any of the immortals ending up in custody, and Copley never raised the possibility to Booker. Otherwise, Booker would have just turned himself over, right? But if Booker never thought to do this on his own, maybe it’s because Copley never raised the possibility OR  because Booker point blank refused to become a lab rat, not unless there was no other option. Copley says he might be able to “get one” of the immortals, so he probably knows Booker would be willing to cooperate, but he seems uncertain even about that, which leads me to further believe that Booker never intended any of the immortals, including himself, to end up in custody.
Booker gets double-crossed by Copley too when they get captured at his house, and the only reason Booker turned on Andy at Copley’s was because he also didn’t want Copley to die. Obviously, he couldn’t have known Andy would stop healing in the middle of this! He also didn’t expect to be captured.
(Maybe the original plan was just for the “kill floor” to happen, with their tissue harvested there and without Andy realizing they’d been filmed? Then everything went sideways when the samples were ruined and Andy figured out who set them up and set out to kill the guy Booker was working with to try to help humanity, and he wasn’t going to let her murder this guy, then Nile happened, and from there everything spiraled?)
3) Merrick must have some sort of reputation as a world-class humanitarian philanthropist good guy, OR some kind of personal relationship with Copley, perhaps developed while his wife was getting treatment for her MS, that made Copley naively believe that Merrick wasn’t going to go full Pharma Bro the minute he got what he wanted. There must be SOME reason he decided Merrick was a good person who had not only the greatest medical capabilities but also would make the best use of this research to help people. Seriously, any other non-psychopathic doctor would probably prefer to work with the samples without TORTURING the subjects first, and Copley may have believed Merrick was one of those AND had the most advanced lab. 
4) Booker has brought up the possibility of going to a doctor before and has been repeatedly shut down. Nothing else explains why he didn’t bring this up to Andy and the others and instead ambushed them with it. On the one hand, Nicky, Joe, and Andy have probably been to every doctor and quack magician for centuries and know there’s nothing that makes them unusual to science.
BUT, I could easily see Booker getting frustrated with this explanation just as any modern kid might get annoyed with older relatives about technology. For all their worldliness, Nicky, And, and Joe might still be very out of date with how far medical science has come, which Booker could find immensely frustrating. If Merrick is on the cutting edge, maybe he’s got something no one else has. If every time Booker brought up the possibility, he just got shut down and told it wouldn’t work, at some point he’d probably just stopped bringing it up to the others and went rogue to find the answers he’s looking for. 
Look, there’s a huge plot hole at the center of the film which is where all “Booker Discourse” springs from. 1) What was Booker and Copley’s original plan? 2) Why didn’t Booker just turn himself in? 3) Why did Booker trust Copley? 4) Why did Copley trust Merrick? 5) Why didn’t Booker tell the others that he wanted to try to use medical science to die? 6) Why would Booker betray his family and get them all locked up by a sociopath dead set on torturing them for profit? Did he just not care anymore?
We just don’t know! If we had even one scene of Booker telling Copley he doesn’t give a fuck if Joe and Nicky get tortured as long as he gets to die, that would be something. If we had a scene where Booker says he’ll help set up a scenario where they get killed on camera and a bunch of samples can be collected, but no one is going into custody and they’ll vanish until Copley comes back with a cure for Booker, that’s another possibility. Without at least one scene to this effect, we’re left with wildly different interpretations of how dumb, naive, cruel, apathetic, unfortunate, or desperate Booker was based on how each viewer fills in those blanks.
EDIT: And just to clarify, I truly think that Booker’s plan ended after the Kill Floor, I don’t think he was the puppet master after that. He didn’t know Merrick, he didn’t know who Copley was going to pass the samples on to or that Merrick was suddenly demanding live specimens instead of samples (Hey, another great discussion topic for a Booker & Copley scene if we had one!). 
IMO, everything after the Kill Floor was damage control. Mostly, it was Booker being unhelpful in Andy’s quest to hunt down Copley and kill him, because Booker didn’t want Copley to die, because to him, Copley’s only sin was trying to help Booker find a way to die and most likely, he and Copley bonded over their shared grief over dead family members. 
Then, Nile shows up and Andy loses her immortality, everything goes off the RAILS. But I don’t think Booker develops a NEW plan to get samples when he shoots Andy at Copley’s, I really do think everything has been cover-up for whatever the initial plan was and to protect his source, Copley, from Andy. I could definitely be misremembering the film but the idea that anything to do with Merrick can be blamed on Booker seems a stretch to me. Booker didn’t know Merrick or have any contact with him, it’s Copley who got double-crossed by Merrick’s greed, Booker as far as I can tell was just working with Copley and letting Copley work with all the 3rd parties.
And if you think Booker is dumb for doing this, you’re probably right! But that sure does make the whole Old Guard dumb too then, because they end the movie by putting their lives in Copley’s hands, as if he couldn’t capture them with the same tactics again long, long before they show up to kill him.
293 notes · View notes
dq-journal · 2 years
Video
Hi there! Kind of off topic but kind of on?
I have been interested in translating a lot of DQ Media that a lot of people just...haven’t. Let’s be real the DQ fandom is not as big in the West as it is in JP and I did not really get that until I moved to a more American neighborhood.
So, in all honesty, I would like to get back into translations works, and on that note going to school again. I would only need to take maximum four classes, which in all honesty is not bad for schooling.
Where does the announcement part come in? Well, I need to pay for school, because I am not going for a degree or a certificate of any sorts I cannot use government financial aid (which sucks because I have literally exactly how much I need there) In order to fix that I am taking translations requests, edit / tumblr banner requests, and art requests. Its kind of a really big deal for me, I feel really weird going back to school at 30 and would like to get it over and done with, it feels like I am so out of place.
So, send me what it is you need ! Any little bit helps, so it doesn’t matter how tiny the request is. Please note! That if you are asking me to translate more than a paragraph of text you do need to outright commission me for translations
Tumblr media
https://ko-fi.com/robotpigeons
                                                 Q and A
What Languages Do You Speak?
I speak Japanese first, which is why you may notice some translation issues with my English, please forgive me. But I live in America and have spoken English for about 15 years!
Will You Translate a Whole Manga
❌❌❌❌ Nope nope nope. I will not. While I can translate it, it takes cleaning, typesetting and all sorts of work that I simply cannot do with the time that I have. So unless you are bringing on a team for me, I will not. What If I Have a Team?
That would have to be discussed one on one honestly, I do not quite like tumblr translation teams, have not had the best of interacting with them. I don’t like being made fun of for my english and that tends to happen... a lot here. So, one on one maybe, please message me and we can discuss.
Do you take art commissions?
I do! I also will make a small slime for any donations that come through the ko-fi! Right now all work is digital, while I do have a lot of physical works as well shipping is not the greatest in my area and is honestly not cost effective to the buyer.
What if I have other questions? Honestly, I do not get a lot of actual questions or responses to my things here so you are welcome to message me or send in an ask. Asks don’t actually pop up for notifications for me, so it ay be a second before I get to it.
So why not just get an actual degree or certificate?
In all honesty, I have been through college twice. I did not think there was any point in me taking 10 art classes for a medical degree and no point in 3 geology classes for a music degree. I disagree strongly with them wasting my money. I want to learn the things that actually matter to me and what will apply to me, not 1300000000 math classes for a translation degree.
More than that? There is not actually a college near me that offers what I need, and I strongly do not trust online get a certificate here sort of things. Soooo yeah that’s about it?
I hope you will consider commissioning me! Right now I would like dragon quest content to commission but I am willing to take SMALL works for other fandoms. Please do not send me whole pages of novels or an entire manga...
4 notes · View notes