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organic-guacamole · 3 years

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episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #seblos #nini salazar roberts #jack hsmtmts #carlos rodriguez #seb mathew smith #kourtney greene #big red #ashlyn caswell #caswell cousins #portwell will be the death of me #guac's episode text blocks :)

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sonybees · 3 years

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me rewatching dead poets society instead of doing my assignments

i’m not sure if anyone would even care about this but i am really bored soo here we go

neil looks so down when he’s with his father stopdjejdkfjnr

poor todd got forced to stand up i would get pissed eujehd

the best preparatory school? lmfao ok.

KEATING YAY

THE PRESSURE THAT TODD HAS TO GO THROUGH I CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES HE DOES NOT WANT THIS WTF

poor kids being forced to go there

LMFAO SPAZ

i still don’t know what a stiff means is that even what he said?

OOPS LMFAO

attractive pieces of sht leaning on a door frame help

“keen.” HA

YESSIR USJSJSJ

why does meeks kind of sound like me when i meet someone new

“he flatters me.” LOLSJNDKSHSJJSKSJDC

“i thought you’d gOne.”

freaking hell stfu tom

i’ve always thought this who calls their father “sir” ???

THE LOOK CHARLIE AND KNOX SHARE HDNEJDJF

“BRAIN DAMAGE” HSMEJD

they all look so confused like same

BRO SPAZ LMFAO

their smiles are so cute awwjdnejsnjd

POOR PITTS SHJWJS

MEEKS SMILE WHEN HE SAID AN UNFORTUNATE NAME

DING

“turn cold and die.” damn that took a turn fast

caaaaaarpeeeee dieeeeeem @siezethedaypoets (sorry! sjjejs)

“that means you daLtoN” the way he says it lfmaosjjd

i thought he was gonna do history he pulled out his chem book dhjshdbd

take a breath knox damn

them just not at all understanding math is a mood

too bad :/

AWW THE WXCITEMENT IN PITTS AND MEEKS EYES

“very funny, dalton.” hehehhehehejjdjdjfjrkdn ccmv mf

AWW MEEKS

CHARLIE WTF YOU DRAWING

RIP SHRED TEAR

RIP RIP RIP

oh shit

ahh one of my fav scenes, charlie basically eating that ball of paper

i hate looking at this it’s so awkward like hello mr. mccallister

what will your verse be?

THE MASHED POTATOS

“no, keating.” LMFAO YES GO KEATING

is that stick? on the end of the table?

“don’t come please.”

“no shIt, sherlock.” HA I LOVE THIS GUY

“pittsie, cmon!” “his grades are hurting, charlie.” i literally just love this conversation

“i’ll try anything once.” “except sex!” “ha ha ha.” HSJWJJSND ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAV CONVOS

“WOMEN SWOON HA HA HA” THE EVIL LAUGH WTF SHEJJS

“CHARLIE @tellmewhytheyswoon” SORRY I HAD TO LMFAO

LMFAO SHUT UP WILL YOU

this is so chaotic and messy damn

the treatshsjdj

they’re loud asf

i wonder who’s who while they were running with the hoods

OH CRAP THE SUN IS OUT WHAT that isn’t in the movie sorry

I LOVE MEEKS AND CHARLIE’S RELATIONSHIP SM

i could never take note of the minutes when something happens how will he do that

YESSIR PART TWO

HOW DID PITTS TAKE THE OTHER HALF SO FAST

EVEN TODD KNOWS CAMERONS STORY LMFAO

LMFOA KNOX IS STARING AT THE PICTURE

MEEKS HOOO THEN I SAW THE CONGO CREEPING THROUGH THE BLACK

THE LITTLE BOING NOISE LMFAO WHAT IS THAT

“are you a man or an amoeba?” i’m sorry lol what the hell do you mean sjdjiend

TO WOO WOMEN

“why do i stand up here? anybody?” “@tofeeltaller” HA I LOVE DOING THIS IM SORRY

i would cry if i found out that i had to make a poem AND read it aloud in front of everyone

poor todd thougsjwhidfj

i wanna marry todd. lmfao where did that come from

RADIO FREE AMERICA

AWW THEM DANCING STFU THIS IS SO CUTE

i can’t hear the audio hellloooooojdjwksbdken

AWW we got some anderperry content here

lol i wanna wear their sweaters

:/// TODD

“no.” “no? what do you mean no?” “no.” *smirks* HAJDJDJWKNS

DONT BE IMMATURE

IDK WHERE TF THE INSTRUMENTS CAME FROM BUT I LOVE IT

the birds are so pretty

nice outfit knox

STOP STARING DUDE YOU’RE MAKING IT TOO OBVIOUS CMON

“sounds to me like you’re daunted.” JSJS

TO INDEED BE A GOD

MEEKS AND PITTS WOTH THEIR HEADPHONES ON AWW

“PUCK YOU” LMFAOAJSJJDJ

i bet todd’s poem is actually great

“the cat sat on the mat.” DNDIDHJDJDJDHS i love how keating still said it wasn’t all bad though

BRO DAMN DONT CALL TODD AND I OUT LIKE THAT

lmfao todd’s just hating every second of this

“sweaty toothed madman” i can see that too whatsbjdjdjsn

THIS IS BETTER THAN ANY POEM I EVER TRIED TO WRITE GREAT JOB TODD

NEIL IS AMAZED

when keating pushed their foreheads together wtf aww father son love typa thing that’s so cutejjedujsidj

LMFOA NO KNOX TRIPPED

YAYY GOAL

wtf this seems so fun

“your parents collect pipes? oh that’s really interesting.” LFMAOOAJSJD I LOVE PITTS

poetrusic by charlie dalton

laughing crying mumbling tumbling

DAMN HES GOOD

the little kind of aggressive hair ruffle awwjendn

OOO VOCABULARY

LMFAO THE LITTLE CHUCKLE KNOX DOES

AWW THEYRE ALL SO HAPPY FOR KNOX

THE SCARFSJJD

“exercising my right not to walk.” smartass

it’s todd’s birthday and no one greeted him excpet neil stfukqbxqbcdbkrw

the first unmanned flying desk set yes yes

THEY ALL JUST STOOD UP LMFAO

merlin knox you are DRUNK

PLEASE DONT ISTG KNOX

THATS NOT WHAT HE MEANT BY CARPE DIEM

well you’re in deep trouble now

“it’s God. he says we should have girls at welton.” as much as i love this scene what the hell were you thinking my man

i don’t get how this was legal back then. wtf is it gonna do? you’re just hurting the kids bro

the pain in his eyes stop

“@dangitneil the name’s nuwanda.” pain brokqdb jdjf

CRAP CRAP CRAP MR PERRY GET OUT

the pic of keating’s wife/gf aww

neil you’re gonna make me cry stop

that is so odd why are their lockers like connected from the left side isn’t it usually from the right?

JSKSIJDEIUWKDRUEJSJX CHRIS IS SO DONE NODKDMD

that piece of bread

THIS GUY JUST SHOVED A KID CMON KNOX

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING?”

AWW WHEN TODD MESSED UO CAMERONS HAIR

CHARLIE LMFAO I MENA NUWANDA

KNOX IS DONE W THEM TOO

chris is gorgeous omg

the snow in her hair stop marry me

“you are SO infuriating”

i hate how i’m just completely forgetting what’s gonna happen in like 10 minutes

PUCK

LMFAOTHEM HOLDING DOWN CHARLIE

“he’s really good.” AW YES HE IS FUCSHWMDMD

wait the holding hands is kinda cute thoughsjdnd

bro mr perry is making me want to kill someone maybe him

NEIL’S SMILE IMMEDIATELY WENT AWAY IHATE YOU TOM

damnit you idiot i hate you sm let your son live you bastard

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sobs sobs sobs

merlin neil

IM JUST NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT THIS YK

HA HA HA NOT CRYING

SIGHS AGAIN

DEAR LORD

NO TODD IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY TOO STOP

THEY ALL SEEM LIKE THEYRE IN SHOCK NO

damn everything

SIGH WHY DIDNT I STOP WATCHING? IDFK

“it’s beautiful.” NOFNEJWGHSGEMWGE NEED WH

KEATING NO

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

charlie just sitting down not singing i hate this

i probably should’ve just stopped watching yk but i didn’t but that’s okay i think

i got so pissed the first time they said that they were gonna ask questions like??? did mr perry did no at all realize that it was his fault?

sigh cameron you aren’t always that bad but in this scene i loathe you

NO RICHARD

DAMNIT YOU MADE TODD SNAP

AND CHARLIE SNAPPED TOO YOU JUST MESSED UP TOO MUCH MAN

i hate how it went from a happy dark academia movie to this cmon

todd’s dad is so mean shut up he was just asking a question

it feels so sad in the room i hate it

the empty chairs pls no

keating’s little chuckle man i miss their smiles

BRO SROP THEY LOOK SO SAD TODD ISTG

*GASP OF HAPPINESS IN THE MIDDLE OF CRYING* HUHUHUH

TODD MEEKS STICK SPAZ PITTS KNOX GEORGE? HA I LOVE YALL

and we’re done. damn okay

thanks for reading ig fjdbshsbjwhdjsj

anyways i’m tired goodnight or morning or wtvr thanks! and sorry <3

#dead poets society #dps #tw swearing #tw caps #sofia rambles #sofia watches #sigh #sniffles #HUHUHU

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imnotoverlyobsessive · 3 years

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Looks Like Someone Picked a Whole Bushel of Oopsie Daisies: Chapter Three

Okaaaay I am so fucking sorry it's been awhile, you guys. But you're not here for my life story and personal bullshit, I'm sure (though please do feel free to ask). So here's chapter three. Enjoy... I hope?

Thank you, as always, to @edward-or-ford for being an excellent beta!

Chapter Three: Sex on the Brain Feel you under my skin; middle of the night, wonder if you feel it, too.- All Time Low, Trouble Is

There was a warm body atop Mabel’s, and lips pressed against hers. There were hands grasping her breasts, then one of them traveled down between her legs.

“Mabel,” gasped a voice as the lips traveled down her neck. A pleasant voice. Deep, but not alarmingly so. It was soothing, familiar. Comforting and arousing all at the same time.

One hand pinched her nipple while the other stroked her, and she gasped out quietly.

When she opened her eyes, Dipper leaned down to kiss her again, and-

Mabel woke with a start, disorientated. Her eyes flitted around the dark room, and she remembered she was at Candy’s. Recognizing Grenda’s sleeping form on the floor and Candy’s even breaths beside her, Mabel sighed quietly.

Well. That was certainly disappointing. Those types of dreams were the worst because she hated waking up from them.

She hadn’t always had so many sex dreams. It was a recent development. And frankly, she wasn’t a fan. Yeah, Dipper was sexy, but like. She knew that already. She didn’t need her subconscious waving a big ol’ flag with “REMEMBER HOW SEXY YOUR BRO IS?” emblazoned on it. She could do without that, thanks ever so much.

It was half an hour before she managed to fall back asleep. She definitely didn’t fill her friends in on the details the next day, even though she probably would’ve if the dream had been about literally anybody except her twin brother.

She was quite sure that when Grenda and Candy thought of “sexy” vibes in relation to Mabel, Dipper was the last person on the face of the earth who might be considered for such things.

————

The following morning, Mabel tried her absolute hardest to seem as normal as she possibly could. Y’know, talk without changes in her voice or tone or speech pattern. Gesticulate some but not too much. Talk about non-Dipper things. Definitely not because Mabel was having a great deal of difficulty thinking about anything but Dipper and what his lips and hands and teeth (oh god his teeth) would feel like on various parts of her body. That had zero to do with it.

Of course, normal for Mabel was… odd for other people, to say the least. And that suited her just fine. Really, it did. She rather liked it that way, actually. Normal people were kinda lame.

Still, there were, of course, some aspects of Mabel’s life that she sometimes wished were a bit more normal, she pondered as she brushed her hair in the bathroom mirror. Not entirely, just a bit. She wished she didn’t have to live separately from her sibling. She wished she’d found her soulmate the same way as everyone else rather than having it be a big mystery.

But most all, she wished she’d never developed these stupid feelings for Dipper. They really were stupid. Who gets feelings for their twin, anyway? Like, where did that even come from?

When Mabel thinks of the word “incest”, she pictures royal families trying to keep the bloodlines pure and stereotypical hillbillies and rednecks. What she did not picture was a modern day middle class Californian teenager.

Not that it had gotten to incest levels, of course. Obviously not. In order for anything to happen, Dipper would have to return her feelings, which he decidedly did not. Why would he?

You’re the weirdo, she reminded herself as she set her hairbrush down.

Well. It is what it is, she supposed. No reason to dwell on it.

And on that note, Mabel skipped out of the bathroom, doing a rather excellent job of pretending she was definitely not dwelling on her romantic-but-very-much-unrequited love for her brother.

Not even a little.

————

They didn’t ride in the same car. Of course they didn’t. They never did. She knew, intellectually speaking, that her and Dipper couldn’t be in the same car for the half hour drive from Candy’s to the mountains. Even five minute drives, though, her parents refused.

“What if you get stuck in traffic?” They’d demand whenever she asked if just once, Dipper could take her in his car. It didn’t seem to make a difference that the odds of a traffic jam in a town as small as Gravity Falls were minuscule at best. Eventually, she stopped asking, stopped trying to reason with them.

She wished she could text him during the drive. She couldn’t stop staring at his last message. She didn’t mean to, it was just that she sometimes got into these moods where whenever she stopped looking at his texts, she’d immediately get the irresistible urge to look at them again, even if she knew full well that all she’d see was the fifteen minute old see you in a bit.

Mabel felt bad about the whole thing sometimes. It wasn’t that she’d meant to fall in love. She truly hadn’t. But… Dipper was just so goddamn sweet. He was considerate and kind and he always asked about her day. And when she told him, he actually listened! None of the guys at her school ever did that. They just stared at her boobs while she talked.

It was suuuuuuuper guilt-inducing, though. Like, somewhere near her (it had to be near her or she’d have been going through withdrawal symptoms all her life) was her soulmate. Emotionally healthy people developed crushes on their soulmates even before they turned seventeen and felt the pull.

Evidently, Mabel wasn’t an emotionally healthy person. She’d developed a crush on her twin brother. And then it had developed into this suffocating, desperate, agonizing, all-encompassing consuming love and adoration that she just couldn’t seem to shake.

It was hard not to see him, she mused as she stared at her phone (still black because he hadn’t texted her, obviously; get a grip, Mabel). But then, it was just as hard to actually see him. The urge to touch him was even worse lately.

Sighing and leaning back in her seat, Mabel stared out the window.

She completely missed her father’s solemn gaze flickering to her briefly in the rear view mirror.

————

Mabel liked visiting Gravity Falls in the winter. She probably wouldn’t get to see snow otherwise. It was beautiful.

It had snowed in the mountains the night before, and there was frost on the ground and snow on the tops of the trees, the sun bouncing off them and making them shine. The cold air bit her face when she opened the car door, but Dipper’s smile in her direction as he stepped out of his own beat-up sedan made her forget about everything else.

Buzz buzz buzz, said the bees.

Mabel resisted the urge to dance when she saw him.

Or slap her stomach a few times. Maybe the sting of it would numb the stupid fucking bees and their stupid fucking buzzing, for god’s sake, would you shut up already-

She did neither, however (good job, Mabel girl!), instead opting for a definitely-not-nervous-in-the-slightest-so-just-shut-your-mouth smile.

“Why hello, Sir Dippingsauce!” She ambled over to him, telling herself she was doing an excellent job of not being awkward.

How long did she have to keep that up for again? A week? That was… that was fine. She could do a week. She could totally do a week, no problemo (Note: Mabel could not do a week. She could possibly do 2.5 days, and even that was most certainly pushing it, but to suggest as much is incredibly rude, as Mabel was doing her very best to make her mind into a 100% Doubt-Free Zone™).

He put an arm across his stomach, the other rigid at his side, and bowed deeply at the waist with a decidedly snooty expression on his too-attractive-to-be-legal face. “Lady Mabelton,” he greeted. “I trust your carriage ride was pleasant?”

“Indeed, milord. You may rise,” she lifted her hand in a dainty gesture, her nose (which was red from the cold) in the air. He did, grinning. “So, what d’you have planned for me n’ the ‘rents today?”

He shrugged a shoulder. “Just a fun little nature walk, I guess. Nothing crazy.”

Mabel shot him double finger guns. “Coolio, bro-lio.”

Their parents were just climbing out of the car. They always took forever. Why did people over the age of twenty-eight always take forever to emerge from a vehicle?

Mabel fiddled with the empty space her right forefinger left in gloves she wore. Gloves were always too big for her as far as finger-length went.

“Soooooo…” she drawled as her parents rounded their car. “Lesgo!”

Running off in a totally random direction, she skidded to a halt at the edge of a clearing. “Yeeeah… might wanna let me lead the way, Mabes. I know my way around pretty well, since I... y’know... live here,” Dipper said with another one of those heart-stopping grins.

Ugh.

Suddenly feeling tremendously uncomfortable again, Mabel laughed awkwardly. “Indeed you do, bro-bro. Indeed you do.” Chill chill chill it’s fine, it’s fine, totally fine up in here.

Dipper walked around Mabel and started down a winding gravel path, definitely neglecting to give her anything that could remotely be classified as “enough space to not have a heart attack”. She followed behind him after several seconds, trying very hard not to stare at his butt.

Again. Dammit.

Mrs. Pines even scolded him a bit. “Careful not touch your sister, Dipper!”

Her voice carried through the trees, and Dipper called out a quick, “kay,” over his shoulder before continuing on. It had been perhaps five minutes. Ten, maybe? Who knew? Time lost meaning when she stared at Dipper too long, and he was walking directly ahead of her. Besides, she had to pay attention to where he was going! She couldn’t really be blamed for staring at him, right?

The path widened significantly after awhile, allowing Dipper to fall back a bit, frosted gravel crunching beneath his sneakers.

“Is it okay if we walk ahead of you, Dipper?” Mr. Pines asked. “Your mother and I would like to look at the scenery a bit more clearly than we can behind you and your sister.”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah, it’s pretty straightforward from here.”

Mr. and Mrs. Pines smiled at him and stepped around him, Mr. Pines patting Dipper’s shoulder affectionately as he walked past.

Dipper fell into step beside Mabel, walking in silence. Mabel inspected her shoes. Some of the frost had gotten on the rhinestones she’d glued to them.

Glancing up in front of her after several minutes, she noticed that their parents had gotten further and further away, far out of earshot.

For the first time in as long as Mabel could remember, they didn’t seem to be paying too much attention to her and Dipper’s interactions.

Blushing furiously at the very idea of being alone with her twin, she looked down at her shoes again. Thank god for the cold. Nobody would question her red face in the cold.

“So,” Dipper said haltingly. Mabel’s head whipped up to face him, her eyes wide. She hadn’t really been expecting him to actually speak, but then she couldn’t very well have not expected it, either. It had just… never occurred to her that he might.

“So?” Mabel said back. Don’t be awkward don’t be awkward don’t be awkward-

“Well, there’s this… thing.”

“Very specific,” Mabel nodded indulgently. “Say no more, brother dear. I know of what you speak.”

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Y-you do?” He stuttered.

Mabel snorted. “Uh, no. Doi. Why would I know?”

He blinked at her. “Oh. Right. Yeah. Guess you… probably wouldn’t, huh?” He looked away and muttered something under his breath that she couldn’t quite catch.

“What was that?” She asked, pushing her hair back behind the ear closest to him, some of the strands catching on her glove.

“Oh, uh. Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Mm...kay?” When he didn’t say anything, just kept staring at her, she spoke up again. “What were you gonna tell me?”

“Oh! Right. Yeah. That. Right.”

“Right. That,” Mabel agreed with a nod, as if she had the slightest idea what he was talking about (note: she did not, in fact, have the slightest idea what he was talking about).

“So, there’s this thing,” Dipper said again.

“Right,” Mabel repeated.

“This thing… that I’ve been kinda meaning to tell you for… well,” he laughed hoarsely. She’d never heard him laugh like that before. “For a few years, actually.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Errhm. Okay. What is it?”

“Okay, so it’s like this,” he started, then stopped and looked up at the sky. “Why me?” He muttered, so quiet she almost didn’t hear him again.

“Okay, Dip, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”

He sighed and stopped walking. So did she. His eyes were closed, which was probably a good thing because they really were terribly distracting and whatever he had to tell her seemed pretty important. He turned his face to her again, opening them, something… different in them. Something she’d never seen before. Something she didn’t recognize.

Something urgent and terrifying and nerve-wracking in a way she didn’t entirely understand, and then-

“Kids!” Her dad called out, both parents jogging over to them. Well, okay, it was more like running. Why would they be running? They hadn’t been that far behind, yeesh.

“Shit,” Dipper muttered again, and Mabel turned to him in surprise. He’d tried to talk to her before, too. Before she’d left for Candy’s. Why? What was going on? Was he sick? If he was sick, why couldn’t he tell their parents? Oh god, what if he’d gotten an STD? What if he’d gotten somebody pregnant? No, wait, pregnancy didn’t last “a few years”, which he had said very clearly, so not that. Oh, fuckity fucking fuck, what if he’d found his soulmate?

“What’re you guys talkin’ about?” Their mom asked with a smile that was a bit too tight and didn’t reach her eyes.

Dipper shrugged. “School and whatnot. Just catching up.”

Mabel didn’t understand why he was lying, but, well. Mabel Pines ain’t no snitch, so she nodded and said, “yeppers yeppers Johnny Deppers! The usual, y’know.”

Mr. Pines inclined his head. Mrs. Pines was clasping his hand.

Her knuckles were white.

Their parents didn’t let their children out of their sight for the remainder of the hike.

Mabel could barely speak. She couldn’t even think much of anything.

What if he’d found his soulmate?

The bees never shut up, either.

#gravity falls fanfiction #gf fanfiction #pinecest #mabel pines #dipper pines #fanfiction #fanfic #looks like someone picked a whole bushel of oopsie daisies #my writing

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 4 years

Text

Cherry Coke Special: One

Bucky Barnes had grown up in the lap of luxury. His father had been a savvy businessman. Both legally and illegally. He’d walked the line. And now Bucky tried to do the same.

But this wasn’t his father’s world. It was a new world. One he could have never dreamed of working at an old oak desk with a calculator and a rotary phone. Well into the ’80s. Computers were the order of the day. Computers and hedonism. Excess. And the woman across the table from him was no exception.

She was blonde. Tan. Fit. Had had some really well-done surgery. And all she wanted was his money. Not like Bucky cared really. This type of girl didn’t question where it came from. But this kind of girl looked around the diner like it was Alien terrain. It was late and snow was falling outside. Settling over cars and streets like a thick down blanket.

There was no one else. No one else had wanted to brave the weather. Leaving Bucky and his girl as the only people in the dining room. “Bucky,” she whined, wiping fussily at the table, “why are we here?”

“Doll,” he said with a sigh, “I told you you could stay home.”

“I wanted to know where you were going,” she said practically, “Make sure it wasn’t a titty bar.”

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and turned his attention back to his menu. He had a soft spot for greasy little diners. They had decent coffee. Cute waitresses. And homemade pie. They reminded him of his dad. His dad had loved little diners too. Out of the way places where nothing was sketchy and it was easy to convince feds that he was just out with his son.

Quiet footsteps attract his attention and a girl. A pretty girl. Too pretty to be working in a joint like this, wearing a butter yellow dress and white apron. Her face is done up like a pinup but… delicate. Appropriate to work in. And plump cherry red lips. “Can I get you started with something to drink?”

“Do you have sparkling water?” Rena asked, gearing up to throw a fit.

“No, I’m sorry, we don’t. We do have really good iced tea though,” you suggest.

“Is it sparkling?” she asked you in a voice usually reserved for children.

“No,” you answer calmly. Bucky can see the start of a tantrum. He can see it so clearly his head already hurts.

“She’ll have the tea,” Bucky cuts in, calmly, giving his companion a meaningful look.

“And for you sir?” you ask, turning big luminous eyes his direction.

“Coffee, Sugar,” he says with a smile, “Thank you.”

“Cream?” you ask jotting it down.

“Yes, please.”

You nod and go to fill the order, thankful that they’re your only table. You’re exhausted. It’s been a long week and all you want to do is make your day off tomorrow. You’ve been working days and nights for so long. Sleeping in snatches to try and keep going. Working to keep your boyfriend in med school, trying to give him the time he needed to study.

“Sugar?” Rena asked, arching a perfectly sculpted brow.

Bucky half shrugged, “I didn’t get a peek at her name tag.”

Rena doesn’t have time to growl at him, you arrive back at the table with drinks for them. “Thank you,” Bucky said, arranging the coffee cup and cream to his liking. You smile brightly but it doesn’t reach your eyes. Now that you’re still for a moment, you look tired.

“What can I get you to eat?” you ask, taking your order pad out again.

“I’ll take some pancakes,” he said, “Bacon extra crispy.”

“Do you have anything fat free and low carb?” Rena asked.

“The fruit plate is nice,” you suggest helpfully.

“Anything hot?” she says staring at you like you might be slow.

“She’ll have the Fruit plate, Thank you,” Bucky said, giving her a look. He can’t stand when people are rude to servers. When they look for shit to be mad about. Bratty behavior is fine. He enjoys it sometimes. But not with people that make minimum wage. Rena sighs dramatically and Bucky smiles at you apologetically, “I’ll just have a slice of pie.”

“Flavor?” you ask, “We have Apple, Cherry, Pecan, and Coconut cream.”

“Cherry,” he said smiling a little, thinking of your lips. They look delicious and… if he weren’t attached he’d probably be trying to talk you into a taste.

“Ooo, good choice,” you say, jotting it down, “Want it warmed up?”

“With Ice cream,” he added, nodding, “Thanks, Sugar.”

You drift away and he takes a sip of his coffee. You hadn’t said anything other than polite work talk. Things you’d say to any customer. But he liked you. Nothing about Rena had rattled you, not her fur coat, not her nails, not her alarming amount of cleavage. Nothing. And that. That had been nice. Rena was used to people snapping to and doing whatever she wanted. Bending over backward to give her what she asked for to avoid conflict. You hadn’t and, Bucky was willing to bet that you wouldn’t have.

When you come back to the table not long after, Rena is hissing at him like an angry snake. Viper whispers about how much trouble he was in for flirting with you. The smile she gives you is bright and brittle. If Bucky weren’t there she’d be threatening to scratch your eyes out. And Bucky is frankly embarrassed. It wasn’t as if she loved him. She loved his money. She loved the red bottom shoes and fun little vacations. Apology handbags and flowers she could show off to her girlfriends. And Bucky found that just now, he didn’t care. All he’d wanted was a moment away. A slice of pie. Some coffee. And a second to breathe. He’d wanted to feel like a normal guy. Just for an hour. To not have to worry about “imports” or “exports” or his books or his crew. Or a turf war that was just waiting to happen.

But then, Rena had happened. She had insisted that he was going out to fuck around on her. She was still insistent that he was going to fuck around. But he wasn’t. Hell, you had work to do. Work to do that didn’t involve riding his dick. Even if he’d kinda like you to. He had a thing for girls that could say a lot with very little. Currently, you were leaning on the counter with a laptop, typing hurriedly. Your fingers are flying over keys easily and it’s soothing. You keep your distance, keeping cups refilled and keeping up on things that they needed. You were intuitive, despite evidently doing some other work at the same time.

But, Bucky can’t really ask what you’re doing. Rena is a force to be reckoned with if she feels like someone is trying to step up to her man. Thankfully, Bucky reflects, you probably have someone waiting for you at home. Or at least some self-respect. That was good. A novel concept, he snorted to himself thinking of Rena. Still, he pays his tab and drops money on the table for you. A pretty chunk of change. Enough, he thought that maybe you could get something you really wanted.

You disappear around the corner, headed back into the kitchen for who knows what and Bucky ushers Rena out. He left enough on the table to cover his tab and probably make up for the tips you weren’t making due to the weather. He nodded to himself and smiled a little. That would do it. At the very least you’d remember who he was if he ever stopped by again. And, as he watched Rena scroll through her phone irritably, he figured it was a likely possibility.

_______________

In the aftermath of his break up with Rena, he found himself back in the Diner. He didn’t really expect you to be working. Let alone that you’d have the time to chat with him. But still, he’s thankful that it was another slow night.

The music playing is a soft sweet little love song and you’re in the middle of bussing a table for some people that had just left. “I’ll be right with you,” you call, hearing the bell, “Take a seat anywhere.” You hustle to clean the table and hustle back out with a smile and a glass of water for him.

“Coffee?” you ask brightly.

Bucky sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, Sugar, thanks.”

“Rough day?” you ask, sympathetic.

“Yeah,” he said, “But it’s nothing a night off can’t fix.”

You make a soft noise and go to get him his coffee and cream. Bucky watches you grab a mug and a coffee carafe in one hand and a small container of cream in the other. Your little white sneakers and yellow uniform remind him of being a kid. Back when t-shirts and jeans weren’t uniforms. You pour his coffee deftly and set his cream down, “What can I get you to eat?”

“Do you guys do patty melts?” he asks.

“Do we do patty melts?” you tease, “What kind of establishment do you think this is. Of course, we do.” You tut at him and start jotting it down. “Fries okay?”

“Fries are fine, Sugar,” he says smiling. Somehow you had managed to set him at ease with a smile and a joke and now, the knots in his stomach from the stress had faded a little. You give him a smile and flounce off to put his order in. That done, you drift over to your laptop again to get some work done for your day job and Bucky listens to the rapid typing. He smiles a little, “What’re you working on?” he calls, “School stuff?”

“Stuff for my day job,” you answer, looking up and adjusting a pair of reading glasses.

“What’s that?” he asked, “You a teacher?”

“Close,” you tell him, “I’m a house manager for a transitional program for addicts.”

He whistled, “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Only if you can’t read a room,” you say shrugging, “By the time people get to my program they’re recovering. We exist to help give them a solid start to getting their life back.”

“So why you here at night?” Bucky asked sipping his coffee.

“Gotta pay my bills somehow,” you say shrugging, “My boyfriend is in med school and he can’t work and do that… so working here picks up some of the slack.”

Bucky nods, feeling a little disappointed. He figured you had someone at home. A girl like you, a real class act was something any guy was lucky to find. “That sounds like a nightmare.”

“It could be worse. At least my documentation is always done,” you say shrugging, coming to refill his coffee.

“You ain’t tired?” he asked.

“They give me free coffee,” you say with a wink.

“Oh well,” he snorts, “Sign me up.”

“Hey. Job perks, man. Gotta take ‘em where you can get ‘em.”

Bucky smiles a little, “How much longer you gotta keep all that up?”

“As long as it takes,” you answer, “He does better when he doesn’t have to multi-task like that, you know?”

Bucky makes a soft sound and adds cream, “How many hours do you wind up working a day?”

You shrug, “It depends. Today? Somewhere in the neighborhood of 16. Tomorrow I’ve got the night off here but I’m running a double at the house since we have state coming in for inspection.”

Bucky shakes his head, “That’s… that also sounds like hell.”

“It could be worse, they’re coming to do the inspection on first shift. So I just gotta do the grunt work to get everything ready on second and third shift the night before.”

Your bell dings with your signal and you turn to get his order, hustling across the floor.

“Sugar can I get a Coke, too?” he calls.

You nod and get ice before filling the glass and shove a bottle of ketchup in your apron pocket before you head back over with his plate, handing him ketchup. “Anything else?” you ask.

“This looks great,” he says appreciatively, “Maybe a piece of pie… We’ll see how much damage I can do to this first.”

You nod and head back over to your laptop, starting to work again, taking advantage of a few minutes of downtime. Bucky spent more time watching you than he did eating. He had a thing for competence. He liked smart women. He respected them. And he hoped that your boyfriend did too.

Though, when a tall, frankly storybook handsome blonde with a cocky smile and a backpack walked in, stealing a kiss over the counter, something told him that that wasn’t true. Your shoes are white. Clean. But not remotely supportive enough for running on this concrete. His are Nike. And new. He supposes they could be a gift but. He’s just. He’s really well put together for someone that should have been in class. And it genuinely rubs Bucky the wrong way when he asks you for money to eat.

“Babe,” you remind him, “There’s still leftover ribs in the fridge.”

“But I really want pizza,” he said.

You sigh and hand him a small wad of ones from your bag. The money you were saving to get some new headphones and a manicure. You just want to not have to do your nails yourself. He takes the money and kisses your cheek before heading out the door, leaving you to work.

Bucky also doesn’t miss that he doesn’t thank you.

After he leaves you come to refill his coffee, “Everything okay?” you ask brightly.

“Fine, Sugar,” he says making a mental note to leave you another nice tip. Not only are you good at keeping his drinks filled but you’re a sweetheart. A nice girl. The kind of girl his ma would just adore.

Too bad you’re with somebody that doesn’t seem to care all that much

#mob!bucky #Bucky barnes #meet cute #fluff #mild angst #bucky x reader

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hs-devote · 4 years

Text

4. M A R C E L

Moodboard // Content // Masterlist

Disclaimer:

All characters and situation in this story are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is only God knows.

Previous chapter :

Harry's finger still wandering around her face, thumbs caressing her lips slowly. The air started to feel getting more intense, while Y/N began to be allured by Harry's soft touch. He slowly leaned in, pulling her chin until his lips touch hers. Y/N froze, eyes blinking. His hand cupped her jaw while the other still on her chin. She slowly closed her eyes, kissing him back, trusting him. It was getting way too intense while her arms grabbed his neck, deepening the kiss.

Harry bit her lips with hand rubbing her exposed thigh wildly. Y/N let out a soft moan when Harry was stroking her inner thigh, another hand caressing her bare back.

4. MARCEL

“You scared her, Marcel.”

“Did I ?”

Harry sat on the edge of his bed, hands locked to each other. It was 1 o'clock in the middle of the night, yet he did not feel sleepy at all. His bedroom was pitch dark, the only light was from floor lamps and reflections from building lights from outside. The curtains were wide open. He didn't like the darkness.

Harry's eyes staring deep at the person in front of him. He's too tired to argue with him. Harry never knew why he loved to meet him in the dark night. Always. Only one time he met him when the sky was bright. Blinding lights was not the thing he likes, he didn't like the crowd too much either.

“It's almost two weeks. Every time I talk to her, she always has that look in her eyes.”

“Well, it's your fault then.”

“How come it was my fault? How can it be my fault if you were the one who did it?”

“Harry..” He chuckled mockingly, “You meet her every day, do you? Just use your charm and she will be fine. If your smart enough, you can take advantage of her. How long have you been since got laid?”

“I don't like you talking like that to her. She's my employee, Marcel.”

“But you like her, do you? You have to thank me, Harry. You will never know if I didn't start it. Sadly, you messed it up.” He smirked, “I had almost forgotten what it felt like to taste a woman.”

“Fucking hell, Marcel!” Harry growled, “I am grateful I was able to arrive at the right time. God knows what you would do that night.”

Marcel was laughing, a laugh that Harry hate. A sinister laugh. “Don't bring God in this situation, Harry. He won't listen to you.” He stood up, with a look of pity, smiling devilishly. “Did you know, she saw you killed that person?”

“You were the one who strangled him, Marcel. Not me. What even were you doing there? Don't you know that's her apartment complex?” Harry asked lowly, still glaring at him.

“But, what she knows.. it was you.” He grinned, “I was curious about her. When she was walking out of the building, that son of a bitch was following her. He knew I was behind him, and he didn't like that so... he thought he could rob me but the poor man didn't know what was coming to him.”

“And you killed him, Marcel. I can't believe you.”

“He already saw my face, I couldn't let a single witness roaming around with free, could I? I don't want you to go to prison, Harry.”

Harry could feel the burden on his shoulders, he was tired of this problem. A trivial matter for Marcel, but not for him. “Where did you throw the body?” He sighed, rubbing his face.

“Don't worry too much. Just calm down. No one will find it. Trust me.”

“Trust you?!” Harry screamed, “How could I trust you if every time you do something, I always take care of that? Just stop it, Marcel. You always did that but never think of the consequences!”

“Don't be loud, your housemaids is sleeping. Well, I don't know why you let Suzanne stay the night.” He snickered, “That's why I have you, Harry. Use your connection, Harry. Use your brain, your power.”

Right now, Harry really wanted to throw things but he couldn’t do that. Poor Suzanne was exhausted and Harry had let her stay overnight. After all, she would be home alone because her son didn't come home tonight.

“One question.” His eyes sharp, looking at Marcel's dark one. For a moment, he could see the reflection of his face. “If I didn't lose the count, you came a lot lately. 4 of them when I was with Y/N. Why?”

“We both know what triggered you, Harry. Sometimes I think, why you can be a weak person? You're weak, Harry. Not like me. Yes, you are powerful, rich, handsome. But I am too. What if, I'm there? You can rest, until whenever you want.” He laughed, not caring the look of Harry's disgust, “I swear to God, Marcel..”

But Marcel keep laughing like he just had been told the funniest joke in the world. Harry couldn't contain it anymore, he grabbed the floor lamp and throwing it to the full-length mirror. Shattered glass falling to pieces on the floor along with a loud bang. He couldn’t see Marcel any more, yet his sinister laugh still haunted him.

Every time Harry tried to get rid of Marcel, he couldn't. Every time he saw his reflection in the mirror, he saw those eyes, eyes that resemblance him, but darker then ever, that was when Marcel came suddenly with the same figure as him. He was aware, Marcel was living with him, and he couldn't just get rid of Marcel.

. . . .

“Mr. Styles?” Y/N ask slowly when she pushed his door open. Her hands gripping some bundles tightly. Her feet step inside very carefully, like afraid of something.

That night moment in the car, made her couldn't sleep all night. Her feelings were crumbling. On the one hand, she couldn't lie with her feelings. She had crush on Harry, from the first day she laid her eyes on him. On the other hand, she felt unprofessional. Yes, she knew they did that outside work area, Harry's still her boss.

“Yes, can I help you with something?” Harry asked, watching her pulling a chair in front of him. A couple of weeks working in here, Harry saw significant progress in the way she handles her tasks. To be honest, she was the assistant he liked the most from the people before. Not only because of work, but she also had nice character, and extraordinarily smart for women her age.

“Err, I have bad news. Polygram calling off the contract unilaterally and withdraw all funds from Erskine.”

Harry couldn't digest every word that came out of her mouth, like her voice slowly fade away. He just stared at her dumbfounded. Y/N not sure either if Harry really listening to her. “Legal counsel is on discussing right as we talk now, looking for cause if Erskine can sue them.”

“Harry?” Y/N called him when Harry didn't budge. Slowly, she waved her hand in front of his face. He jumped instantly, “Yeah, yeah? I'm sorry.”

“Did you hear me, sir? You were spacing out.”

“How much funds did Polygram provide during the contract?”

“$900,000 equivalent £730,000. They withdrew almost full funds even though the contract had been running for six months out of the year.”

“Not too much, but still.. it’s breach of contract.”

“But, from the news I heard, their affiliated company will most likely do the same with thing to Erskine. A total of four companies are under Polygram, with worth $3,000,000”

Harry felt like something was suffocating him. One of their biggest clients walking away from his company. He didn’t understand what happened. Everything was all right before.

“Do you know what is the reason? Maybe we can persuade them? I don't want to lose a client. I don't want to let go of them with prejudice, if something isn't right, we can talk about it.”

“I will arrange the meeting immediately, sir.” Y/N nodded. She felt sorry for Harry now, he looked stressed, clearly visible from the look of his face. “Do you need anything, sir?”

In fact, Y/N was waiting for Harry to talk about what happened that night. After they kissed, Harry never brought it up.

To this day.

Y/N didn't know what Harry was thinking at the time, and right now. Whether he did it because he just wanted to kiss her, or because of his emotion, or because he indeed like her.

“No, thank you Y/N.” Harry forced a smile. Y/N could only sigh softly with disappointment. If she could be honest, she had a lot of hope of him. She just didn’t want to be disappointed before it's too late. She excused herself, going back to her office.

Plopping herself into her chair, Y/N opened her email. Quickly typing away a meeting invitation to Polygram, hope they would cancel their intentions. She knew how mad Harry would be if that really happens.

Her phone ringing loudly, making her slightly jump in her seat. Sliding the screen up, she brought her cellphone to her ear, “Hello?”

“Don't sound too happy, what's wrong Y/N?”

“Hi to you too, Abbie.” She shrieked, “I'm sorry, I just.. well kinda busy at the moment. How are you?”

“Oh, do I bother you? I can hang up and call you in another hour maybe?”

“Nah, I'm fine.” Her other hand lifted from the keyboard, “Now, I'm free for the next ten minutes, I guess.”

“Well, I just wanna check up my best friend. How's Erskine, anyway? Everything good?”

“Worth the benefits, obviously. I'm sorry we rarely hang out together even on weekends. It's been a long time since I've seen you. For God's sake, we are in the same city!”

“Don't worry about that. I could just pay a visit, you know?”

Abbie or Abigail, was a friend from high school. When they were in college, they went to London together but with different universities. She settled in London after that, while Y/N coming back to her home town.

“Any romance involved in the office?”

Y/N giggled, not really know what to answer. “No.. not really. Not yet.”

“Whoa, so.. there's someone? Who's that?!”

“Abbie, please.” She sighed, “I don't know really, it's difficult with.. the situation.” Y/N muttered, toying her pen. “I don't know if he likes me.”

“Okay then if you don't wanna talk about it. I will ask for the progress next week.” She laughed, “Can we talk about your hot as fuck boss? How's him in the office?”

Y/N shifted awkwardly in her seat, her mind went to their kisses memory. “Oh, Harry? He's nice. Very nice person. Unlike most bosses –stern, creepy. Not at all.”

“Does he have a girlfriend? What is his girlfriend like?”

“No, he's very very single. A fit bachelor. Why?”

“I just curious. I mean.. he's a fucking CEO at THAT age. Fucking handsome like a Greek god. Tell me I'm freak but I love to search him on Google. Did you know that Erskine is one of the top companies with the biggest revenue? Who doesn't want him? He could easily spoil her girlfriend with buckets of diamonds. There's nothing he can do.”

“All I know is Harry works his ass off every day.”

“Hold on.. Did I just hear you call him Harry? So, we are in the first name basis, huh?

“Shut up.” Y/N chuckled, her eyes raking her email.

Polygram agreed to a meeting, but today.

“Can I call you back later? I have a meeting to do.”

“Right then, talk later!”

After she hung up the call, Y/N read the Polygram email carefully. They would love to hold a meeting this afternoon. She dialled Harry's extension right away, he picked up on the second ring.

“Mr. Styles? Polygram agree to a meeting, today at 2.00pm in Erskine. Do you have time? I already check on your schedule , you have no meetings today.”

“It's fine. Please take care of it.”

“Will do.”

Polygram team arrive exactly at 2 o'clock, while Y/N have waited ten minutes ago. She immediately called Harry while the participants were enjoying some snacks offered. Harry's arrival was greeted with handshakes and short small talks.

“I'm aware of this purpose meeting, Mr. Styles. We apologise for contract withdrawal but that was all orders from the council.”

“What is the reason if I may ask, Mr. Roberts? We have never committed violations, haven't we?”

“Yes yes, we are very aware, Mr. Styles. The reason is...” Mr. Roberts glanced at his colleagues, like he was hesitant to say it. “The council doesn't want to work with companies led by.. arrogant young people, they said.”

“Pardon?” Both Y/N and Harry stared at them dumbfounded. Really didn’t get what he meant.

“Our council got the news that you attacked one of our loyal colleagues at an event, and they are not pleased with it.”

Harry? Attacking someone?

Y/N rolled her memories to a few days back, remember that it was true that Harry attacked someone that night. But he was the one who started it, not Harry. It was Dale.

Dale...

Loyal colleagues...

Of course, Machtig.

“Where did they get it from? There's no news about it.” Y/N asked slowly.

“We don't know exactly, we just know that one of the councils' members really close with Machtig.”

“They don't know what really happened.” Harry muttered

“But the news about you, Mr. Styles, punching a man in public areas spread very fast.” This time, a lady with her black short hair opened her mouth after a long time silence. “They only question your performance if you like beating people up. Sure the council wants to keep their image.”

“Do you guys know you're breaking the law? We could sue Polygram but certainly, we don't want to if you cancel the withdrawal.” Y/N exclaimed, trying to speak for Harry. Because from the corner of her eyes, Harry began to look pissed. Everyone sunk into silence, as if just understood the consequences. Y/N was even more infuriated when no one spoke. “Isn't it unprofessional to bring together between work and personal matters? If Mr. Styles here wants to do something outside his office, it becomes his privacy. I mean, he didn't commit a crime.”

“The council also wondering why the police had not been involved in the incident.”

“Denise..” Mr. Roberts hissed at his co-worker, ask her to stop it immediately. Y/N wondered why this woman named Denise really coming at Harry.

Police...

Then Y/N realised, when Harry threw his fist to the robber, they had approached by the police. But after that, they were never been called. Did the police really forget them? Her or Harry could have been designated as witnesses if they wanted to proceed to court. There's no way the police just let him go.

“I understand your worries, Mr. Styles, Ms. Y/L/N. We'll try to talk to the council, especially with the charges if we break the contract.” Mr. Robert spoke, while collecting up his stuff.

“We're waiting for the good news in a week, tops.” Y/N stressed her words, waiting for a definite answer. Harry – who was sitting next to her, was completely indifferent. His chest rose up and down, ready to explode soon.

“I'll try my best.”

“Thank you, Mr. Roberts.”

After bidding them goodbye, Y/N was going to go back to her office when Harry's hand gripped her wrist. She let him speak first, didn’t know what he wanted to talk about, but she hoped Harry could control his anger right now.

“Thank you for that.” He said lowly, hand still gripping her wrist. She just smiled while her other hand rubbing his knuckles, “For what?”

“You speak more than me, thank you for defending me. I appreciate that, really.”

“I think it's an employee's obligation to defend their company. Plus their boss is being cornered like that.” She shrugged, “I don't like that Denise lady, but I appreciate Mr. Roberts.”

“Fun fact, Denise used to work here. I fired her because she was caught having sex with one of the employees in the office bathroom.”

Harry was laughing when he found Y/N scrunched her face, “That's.. disgusting.”

“Mhm, no wonder she was bitter towards me.”

“Mr. Styles?”

“It's Harry.”

Y/N bit her lips, well that's new. They still in the office but Harry let her call him his first name. Then she looked down her hand, swinging them back and forth with Harry's, like kids holding hands.

“Come get something cold and sweet. This time is on me. Where do you want to eat ice cream?”

“Ice cream, really?” Harry chuckled, hand still swinging with hers. “Pretty sure your head now is about to explode, ice cream will cold it down, definitely.”

“All right,” Harry stood up, gathering his laptop. “Pack your bag, we'll go to Soho.”

. . . .

“Hi, can I get Tiramisu Sundae and..” Y/N looked at Harry, who still looking at the menu. “Harry?”

“Oh, I will go with... Sticky Toffee? Thank you.” Harry smiled.

Y/N swore that the cashier lady was swooning over him, she bit her lip when punching the cash register.

“That would be £15.” Y/N handed her cash, after saying thanks, her and Harry step aside while waiting for their order. Less than five minutes, they walk to a vacant booth with ice creams in their hands.

“This is delicious.” Y/N moan softly, licking her spoon. Harry quietly watched Y/N enjoying her dessert, her face looked adorable while concentrating on her ice cream. He let five minutes pass without conversation. He just wanted to enjoy a moment of time, being someone who's carefree for a second.

“I want to apologies.”

His words made Y/N lift her head, wrinkles visible on her forehead. “For what?”

“The moment in the car a few nights before. I’m sorry if I was freaking you out.”

“Oh.” Well, she never thought Harry would apologise. Did he feel any guilt? For kissing her?

“Erm, I.. I think it's... it's okay, Harry.” She mumbled, looking down her cup which now looked more interesting. No. She just feels intimidated by Harry. She didn’t know why.

“No, it's not okay Y/N. It's not... it's not like I feel guilty. It's just that I feel like using you in that situation.” Harry fumbled his finger, panic began to fill his body.

“Did you enjoy it?” Y/N averted her gaze to Harry, she could see Harry's nervous too. “Because I did, Harry.”

“Glad to know that.” He smiled softly, “At least I'm not the only one felt it.”

“Let's just say this is a date. I'll take you on another date.”

“A date?” Now, Y/N could feel her heart rumbling. This wasn’t something she expected. Her mixed feelings made her dizzy. A date? Harry was asking her out, again? She didn't listen to it in the wrong way, did she?

“I really... really like you, Y/N. And I'll look forward to getting to know you better than ever.” His blinding smile made her knees weak, her bones turn into jelly. Harry Styles asked her for another date? Her inner goddess slacking her jaw.

“I'll wait then.” She returned his smiled, feeling shy because Harry kept smiling at her with his prominent dimples.

Soho that night was the same as usual nights. When Londoners prefer to spend time in club or bars, the tourists with their cameras engrossed in capturing every corner of the area – to share with their loved ones. Or maybe just shop for souvenirs to take home. Or couples who wants to watch a show at the local Soho theatre.

Walking down the street, Y/N really enjoyed London – again. Since she moved from Swansea, she had never been back to Soho. Soho and its atmosphere, not much had changed. She chuckled when passed a gay couple who had just exited from one of the bars, stumbling in drunk while pointing their sex toys to one another.

Spending the afternoon on feet in Soho, Harry drove Y/N home when his watch showed 10.00 pm. He felt more human and normal when he could spend his little time outside without having worries over work. Harry totally turned off his cellphone, didn't want to be disturbed for a moment –didn’t care if an urgent call comes in. What he cared about was how he could have quality time with Y/N.

Harry didn't realise that Y/N had fallen asleep during the trip back home, it seemed like the music from a radio he played made her sleepy. He was silent for ten minutes after arriving in her building, couldn't bear to wake Y/N up –she looked tired. He just stared at her, doing nothing.

Her closed eyelids to mouth slightly open. The small things like that made him smile . She stirred slightly in her sleep, before her eyes flutter open. The first thing she saw was his eyes, not the desk clock that usually woke her up every morning.

“Hi.” She murmured softly, hesitate to move from her comfy position.

“You were asleep.” Harry whispered with his fingers straighten her hair.

“Looks like. ” she yawned, “'m sorry.”

“Don't be. It's okay.”

Y/N straightened her upper body, fist rubbing her eyes. “I have to go inside, it's already late. Have to work tomorrow.”

“Mhm.”

“Thank you for today, Harry. I really really enjoyed it.” She said before opening the car door, her sleepy eyes made Harry shake his head. She looked adorable. “I should be the one thanking you for the ice cream treat.”

“It's nothing, really.” Y/N smiled, leaning in and give his cheek a small peck. “Drive safe, Harry. Good night.”

“Have a good rest, love.”

Harry was smiling like idiots when his door slam shut softly, leaving him alone. He sighed, It's been a long time since he felt like this.

. . . .

Full name: Styles, Harry Edward Mr Age: 25 Date of birth: Sparkhill – Birmingham, February 1st 1994 Occupation: Confidential Address: Chelsea Waterfront, Waterfront Dr, Fulham, London SW10 0QD, United Kingdom Diagnosis: Confidential Medical complaints: Excessive anger, Loss of self-control

Health professional: Horan, Niall Mr Specialities: General Psychiatry Treatment action: TBA.

“What's wrong now, Harry?” Niall put his glasses down the table. Hands locked, while staring at his friend. His index fingers tapping at Harry's portfolio.

“I attacked people.. a few.”

“And?” Niall raised an eyebrow, waiting for Harry to finish what he said.

“In public..”

“Something must be triggering you.”

Harry paused, choosing the right words before leaving his mouth, “One of them killed.”

“Jesus Christ, Harry..” Niall looks at his friend in disbelief, hand massaging his forehead. “I understand you attacked someone, but.. killed them?”

“I just found out days after that, the body was drowned in Gallion Reach. I don't know how but the body hasn't been found around there yet.”

Niall let out big exhale, “Fucking mental.” His hands taking notes and pen from his desk, “How often have you attack people in the past couple weeks?”

“Five times.”

“It doesn't all end with a loss of life, right?”

Harry shook his head, feel ashamed of his behaviour. But at least he could calm down because the doctor was his own best friend. Niall wouldn't judge him carelessly.

“Now, tell me. I'm all ears.”

“Well, he appears more often. I don't know why. I still take medicines, sometimes forgotten because I'm busy with my work. But before that.. it was no problem. He has become more aggressive since I'm being close to Y/N. He even appeared when Y/N's first day of work with me, without doing anything. Only creeping at her within a few centimetres.”

“Did.. he do something brutal to her?”

“Just.. snapping at her while she trying to help with my wounds.” Of course Harry didn't want to tell him about he kissed her that night after he punched Dale.

“I read the news about you assaulted a robber in Canada Square, and.. rumours about you broke someone's nose from Machtig at that gala night, is it true?”

Harry just nodded, looking at Niall who was writing something in his notes. “You fixed it, right?”

“I think Mario is tired of helping me. He always said.. this is the last time, Harry. But every time I come to ask for help, he also said if you weren't my friend and battling with yourself Harry, I wouldn't want to help you.”

“Good things that he's a member of NCA's council. At least your name will be safe from the records.”

“Are you trying to insult me, Niall?”

Niall fell silent, seemed he pressed the wrong button. Harry's facial expression become hard. But, he was indeed serious. “Am I talking to Marcel now? Or Harry?”

“No, but I can feel he's watching you right now.”

He gave Harry a small smile, folding his arms together while looking at his friend carefully. Right now, the man sitting in front of him, something was different on him, Niall felt that. Bright green eyes, soft yet firm expression.. well, this was Harry. Marcel had darker eyes, he had something strange with him. If Marcel was in front of him right now, he wouldn't be able to speak so quietly and slowly.

“When you said Marcel was more aggressive when you were with Y/N, I wondered if he had.. a certain motive?”

“He had never hurt her.”

“The keyword: had never. If that happens, what would you do? I guess you haven't told her, have you?” Niall asked curiously with teasing smile.

“If I do, she will definitely decline the date. One day I'll be honest with her. I can't lie for too long.”

“So, is there the date you didn't tell me huh?” He wiggled his eyebrow, making Harry laugh. One that Harry liked when he came to visit Niall, he would never treat him like a regular patient. They would talk like usual friends who were chatting in the pub. Niall would always spend more time on him.

“Well, you know how the cure works, Harry. I can only give you a prescription to help you reduce your stress level and blood pressure. If you think Marcel is ready to take over, try to think something makes you happy.”

. . . .

Going home to an empty house was not a pleasant thing for Harry, even though he had lived alone for a few years. When he was still living in Manchester with his family, whenever he opened the front door, his mother's voice would the first thing he heard.

His mum, Anne, would like to keep her eyes open and make sure her son arrived home okay, rather than going to bed and finding him not in good condition in the morning. Young Harry was the same as other teenagers, he could be stubborn whenever he wants or being spoiled whenever he has the chances.

Sometimes he thought, his penthouse way bigger than he needs. He lived alone, his home would be empty when he was working even though his million pounds home would be occupied for a short time when Suzanne did her work. He wouldn't risk his safety and privacy if he moved to another place.

As usual, Harry unlocked his door. If normally the hall was pitch dark, not this time. A few lights were turned on, created a dim atmosphere. It was strange. Did Suzanne forget to switch the lamps off?

“Why the confused face, Harry? Never see the lights on?”

. .

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry styles series #dark harry styles #dark harry #solo harry styles #solo harry #ceo harry #ceo harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fic rec #fan fic #romance #harry edward styles #fantasy

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fablesrose · 4 years

Text

Of Kings and Shadows VII

Chapter VII

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Notes: On Wattpad –> Here

Series Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I gently stretched my neck side to side hearing it creak. As much as I was glad I was back to work, this was not what I had in mind. Here I sat at my desk, staring at my computer, studying for a job that I was probably never going to do. They pretty much just assigned me anything to keep me busy, I had already done all of my paperwork, and Clint's, along with completing my two-hour max of physical therapy each day. I still have at least two weeks of desk work before they even consider sending me anywhere near the field.

I sighed, this website wasn't getting me anywhere. People went to school for this and I still have no idea what realm this job pertains to. For all I know these words could be in Russian, and I'm supposed to know Russian.

I finally gave up on searching the internet and decided to email the guy that actually does this job.

From: y/nl/[email protected]

To: [email protected]

Hey Ike,

Do you happen to have a manual on aerospace tech or something on the controls of the Quinjet?

Thanks,

Agent l/n

I stared at the email for a couple of minutes, sure everything was spelled right. Now, Ike was a decent dude, but he was one of those guys if ya know what I mean. Little pathetic, little ignorant, little fussy, but the difference from him and all the other those guys, is he actually knows how to do his job; he does it darn well too.

He didn't answer back right away, so I continued my search on the web, not wanting to put too many favors out there before he replied. I found what I thought was a decent website after a while, they had most of the 'fix the plane' words in layman terms, so that was nice. This may not be my area of expertise, but there was one thing I knew for sure: its gonna be a long couple of weeks.

On my, what I believe to be, sixty-fourth website, hair from the lower back all the way to my neck stood up one by one. My gut gave a little twinge as well. I slowly turned my eyes to my monitor, just at the right angle to see behind me. A scrawny looking guy was standing right in the doorway of my office. I took a deep breath when I noticed that he wasn't looking at my head, but met my eyes in the reflection of my monitor.

I spun slowly in my chair to face him since he knew I knew he was there. There was a moment of awkward silence before I decided to break it.

"Hey Ike"

He stared at me blankly for a moment, "You planning on taking my job l/n?"

I pursed my lips, blinking. "Well, I'm glad to see you are having a good day too, Ike."

He frowned, "I mean it l/n"

"No! No, since I'm in time out they assigned me to learn about your job. It won't be enough to kick you out, trust me. They're just keeping me busy." He seemed to relax a little bit. "Who knows? Maybe I could help you out on a mission or somethin'"

He gave me a dorky smile that only a few could love. I was not one of those few.

He sighed, "Yeah I'd like to see that sometime. " He looked down at the floor thinking for a second, "Uh, yeah I have a book I think you could learn something from..."

I raised my eyebrows at him, asking him where it was since it wasn't in his hands.

"Unfortunately it's back at home. You want to meet tomorrow so you could take a look at it over the weekend?"

It was only then I remembered that it was Friday. "Uh, yeah, sure. Ten o'clock would be the best time for me... Do you have a preference for a place?"

"The Starbucks on 17th Street work?"

I gave a tight smile, "Sounds like a plan"

I walked into the shop five minutes early, my parents always did teach me to arrive early. I scanned my gaze over the occupants, looking for Ike. I tried not to breathe in too deeply, the smell of coffee never really was my favorite, and it mingling with the other more pleasant smells was leaving my head spinning. I finally thought I spotted him when I saw the man in my sights was sitting with another.

The same sensation from yesterday came over me even more powerfully, causing me to find where the eyes were coming from. The staring was coming from the man sitting with who I thought was Ike. We locked gazes for a moment when the other man turned around, only for me to find that it was Ike. He waved me over to their table.

"I didn't know you were going to bring someone along, almost made me think it wasn't you" I tried to sound light-hearted despite the chilling feeling before. Usually feeling eyes on me wasn't that unsettling, I've dealt with it my whole life, paid attention to it my whole life, but in my whole life, it's never told me something like that; and, I don't know what to do with it.

Ike looked at me pleasantly, "Wasn't planning on it, just ran into each other."

I shot a tight-lipped smile to the stranger who stuck out his hand, "Hi, I'm Henry Arnold"

"Y/n L/n"

Ike threw a thumb back at the counter, "Coffee?"

I shook my head politely

"Caffeine not your poison?"

"I didn't pick my poison," I paused, "Mountain Dew picked me"

Henry chuckled. I tried to pick out any traits to describe him, but the only thing that came to mind was average, ordinary. Beige blond hair, structured face... He seemed nice enough though.

"So, you two work together at the patent office?"

I side-eyed Ike who gave a subtle nod, "Yeah, different departments in the office you know"

"Oh yeah? You must see some crazy stuff pass through though, huh?"

"Uh, not really on my side, I worked in the automotive section, so nothing too crazy, just different parts to go into cars for the most part. I don't know about Ike here..." I jabbed my thumb in his direction, kinda just wanting to get out of there.

"Pretty much the same over in the aerospace department"

Henry seemed to have a revelation, "oh, am I intruding on a date or something? I am so sorry!"

I quickly shut down that thought, "no no no, I just asked to borrow an air mechanics manual, their thinking about switching me over, so they sent me his way."

"Oh, okay..." He seemed relieved he didn't mess anything up. "So why'd you get into that department?"

I looked at him, trying to think. "Uh, well, my family was hurt in a car accident at one point, so I thought I'd help and watch vehicles get safer so they wouldn't hurt them again"

"Oh cool"

I hated that I knew how to be polite, "what do you do?"

Henry scratched the back of his neck, "I'd like to say, inventor... But it only happens in my spare time it seems. My paycheck comes from administrating medical trials"

"Interesting, how'd you get into that?"

"Well the inventing stuff was inherited from my dad who recently passed"

"I'm sorry to hear that"

"He was never around much, but my mom, she kept telling me to change the world. 'Be King' she would say... This is how I do that"

"That's cool. What's your current trail"

"In simple terms, it's a type of steroid..."

I raised my eyebrow, "helpin' bodybuilders?"

"No, this one is legal," he smiled lightly. "This one helps with metabolism and the immune system. Unfortunately, I can't be a patient since I'm handing it out, but based on the results so far? I'll be first in line when it hits the shelves"

I raised some finger guns, "if it's that good, you might have to sign me up for that"

He chuckled and stood from his seat, "I might take you up on that, but for now I have to leave. Laime, Y/n." He nodded at both of us before departing.

"Nice guy."

Ike slouched in his seat, "you could say that. Smart, almost overbearing at times. Sorry, just ran into him here."

I forced out an "it's fine." I looked at him expectingly, "the manual?"

He sighed and turned around to face the backpack on his seat. "I do have one favor though."

"And what's that?"

He placed the book on the table, "could you maybe introduce me to the Avengers?"

I bit my lip, "I would love to, but that's not really in my power, maybe Clint, he's sociable, but he's the best bet and not even close to a guarantee..."

His mouth stretched without becoming a frown or smile, "Yeah, thought as much. It was worth a shot though. Forget I asked" he slid the manual the rest of the way to me. "Get it back to me as soon as you are able okay?"

I stood, book in hand, ready to get out of there, "you got it."

I was in the middle of a chapter while walking down the hall. The first few chapters went something like, 'hey so the only reason you're reading this is either you are going to school for this or for some reason you are looking at a broken aircraft that's most likely smoking and you need to fix it quickly. So we're gonna tell you how to do that first.'

To be brief, Ike picked a good manual for me to read.

I saw I'm my peripheral vision the doorway ahead of me and thought I calculated how far I needed to be over.

I was wrong.

My shoulder hit the door frame right on, causing me to stagger. I then got my other shoulder into someone else passing by. I let out a quiet, "ow."

My eyes lifted to see I had bumped into Loki. I quickly apologized, "excuse me, Your Highness." I continued walking, hoping I didn't anger him. Aside from our first meeting, he seemed like a mild-mannered person: irritable, but polite on most accounts. That being said, seeing his angry power once was enough for me and I wasn't planning on seeing where his line normally is.

That's how our interactions have gone for the past few weeks, usually exchanging as few words as possible, always polite, me making sure I slapped a "sir" or "Your Highness" on the end. When in doubt, respect is the safest bet, and titles are always important.

I headed towards the kitchen, still scanning the book in my hand. You think I'd learn my lesson, but I didn't and smacked my shoulder with that door frame as well.

I inhaled and exhaled equally deeply to calm myself, resisting the urge to just shriek and kick the wall for being in my way.

"Hey y/n, whatcha doing here?"

I turned to see Clint silently chuckling telling me he had seen my mishap. I sighed but decided not to comment on it, "My superiors don't know what to do with me since all of my paperwork is done, so I have two missions coming here. One: check up on you guys to see if you are in any trouble. Two: they told me to learn how to be an aerospace engineer and just overall know how the planes work." I waved a finger at him, "You, my friend, can help with both. So," I sat down at the island, leaning towards him on the other side, "what can you tell me about controlling the jets?"

After Clint gave me his rundown of how it works I felt more confident in my little bit of knowledge. I didn't have much to be concerned about since I knew we would have to be in some extreme circumstances for me to have to do anything.

"Thanks, Clint," I stood from my stool. "You guys doin' okay out here? No trouble?"

He smiled kindly, "same old, same old... Just Thor eating everything and the kitchen sink!" Clint's gaze was pointedly put over my head.

"I'm afraid the sink wouldn't taste that great my good man."

I turned to see Thor had entered the kitchen, water bottle in hand.

"It's good to see you, sir"

He looked at me pointedly

"... Thor"

He smiled and laughed jovially, "The same to you, my friend!"

I jumped when two hands slammed down on my shoulders. They then started to rub the muscles in my neck.

"Y/n, you should be going home and resting"

I turned my head to acknowledge Natasha, "yeah yeah, I was just about to say my adieus."

I looked at the three of them, "so I can give a report saying you all are behaving?"

"I'm making sure of it"

I nodded my head and said goodbye, making sure I didn't hit the door frame on the way out. Turning the corner I almost ran into Loki again but managed to stop in time.

"Excuse me, sir," I moved to curve around him when he grabbed my elbow, spinning me on my heel to face him.

My arm was brushing the wall, his face the closest it's been to mine since we met. His eyes had a look of determination, to do what, I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I swallowed, eyes wide, not daring to breathe, even though I wanted to.

He only spoke a single word, "why." He didn't sound angry, but it was stern enough that I knew he wanted an answer, and he knew he was going to get it.

My hand clenched the book in my hand, "why what, Your Highness?" I was going to lay it on thick, just as much as my voice was becoming.

His hand became a little tighter on my arm, his eyes growing slightly, "That, why do you keep respecting me? Why do you address me with my proper title?"

I blinked. That was not what I was expecting him to ask. I took a moment to get my thoughts together, "Well..." I chose not to look him in the eye, a little scared of what I would find. I instead chose a spot on the wall, close to his shoulder. "For one: you hold those titles. You outrank me in both lineage, birth and adopted, as well as being an Avenger. I guess that makes you my superior..." I took a deep breath before continuing, "um, for two: you haven't given me permission not to."

His hand seemed to loosen a bit.

Why was I really doing this? Why did I give him that much power? For my conclusion to my thoughts, I looked Loki in the eye, "and third, you're a dangerous man." I had to clear my throat of the itch that appeared.

Loki's face softened and his eyes grew big. One might call it shock painting his face.

"I'd like to think I'm not a fool."

There was a moment of just us looking at each other, neither of us moving. He eventually loosened his hand enough that I could easily release myself.

I took a step back out of his hold, nodded my head at him and said goodbye, "I've got to go, Your Highness."

And with that, I turned to leave letting out a shaky breath.

Tags: @nightrose64

#loki odinson #loki x reader #loki fanfic #avengersfanfiction #avengers x reader #clint barton #natasharomanoff #thor #marvel #Of Kings and Shadows #chapter 7

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sincerefakeahcau · 5 years

Text

It wasn’t easy being a teenager. Even less so being a short, gymnast who was openly gay in a not so nice area. But Jeremy was used to it, after all this was the life he had lived for the past eighteen years and it will get better right?

The phrase was a mantra in his head as he tried to ignore the hand of Michael, a roided, should be graduated, twenty year old who seemed to think Jeremy was his punching bag, even though being a gymnast gave him a strength he rarely showed. He only had to make it through the year and then he would graduate, seven and a half months until he wasn’t a walking punching bag to idiots anymore. I’m

“What are you gonna do squirt? Find a real man to take care of you like the little bitch you are.”

Despite knowing he shouldn’t Jeremy snaps not caring for his own safety for a moment.

“If you don’t leave me alone I’m going to fuck your dad.”

Michael’s face grows purple and he shoves Jeremy again before walking off with his group of minions, brainless roided bodies the group of them.

“Would you really?”

That’s Gavin, Jeremy’s best friend who was a foreign exchange student from England, staying with the family next door.

“I mean... have you seen his dad?”

Jeremy raises his eyebrows a smirk falling onto his face and Gavin just chuckles before wrapping an arm around the shorter boy.

“One of these days your mouth is gonna get you in trouble.”

“One of these days? As if it hasn’t already.”

“True.... now show me a picture of his dad.”

“What?”

“If he made a son that looks like that he’s got to be attractive. Stupid as hell but attractive.”

“Gavin he was a model. But now he works with computers. I think he’s hot and smart.”

Jeremy pulls up Instagram, opening it to the mans page and when Gavin sees it he nods in agreement.

“He’s your type. Tall, bearded, dad. Now again would you really fuck him just to get back to Michael?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? Or maybe just cause he’s hot and smart and he is my type.”

“Have you ever met him in person Jeremy. Also he’s obviously straight, after all he is Michael’s dad. Speaking of what about his mom?”

“I don’t think they are together because he posted on Mother’s Day and was like ‘while it wasn’t magic for us you gave me the best gift ever. Thanks for being the best mom to our son.’ And look at this picture and tell me he’s straight Gavin. Look at it.”

“Mr. Dooley!”

Hearing the voice of his math teacher he looks up and realizes that his entire class is looking at him, and he’s looking at his phone.

“Sorry.”

“What was so interesting on your phone that you just had to show Mr. Free in the middle of my class?”

“Nothing.”

“Than maybe you should put it away.”

“Yes sir.”

He puts his phone away and motions to Gavin that he’ll show him later. Math class finally ends and Jeremy pulls his phone right back out showing showing Gavin the picture he had been trying to show him before.

“Maybe he’s just a really into himself straight man.”

“I doubt it. But I’ve never met him so like will it matter honestly? I’ll just admire him from afar.”

“I vote you slide into his DMs.”

“But...”

“Jeremy I say you shoot your shot. You are amazing and confident and of the legal age of 18. So why not.”

“What if he’s not gay?”

“So? It never hurts to ask. Besides how can you tell Michael you would fuck his dad and then not even try to follow through.”

“So you’re saying if nothing else I should try because I could hold it over Michael.”

“Yes. But also like you said he is hot and hopefully smart. And if he is smart he’ll get it.”

Jeremy bites his lip before looking at his phone and clicking the paper airplane to send him a message. He debates for a second before just sending a simple hi and then puts his phone in his pocket.

“I want to die.”

“I could help with that.”

Hearing Michael’s voice Jeremy is instantly glad about his decision. He doesn’t respond instead just sending Gavin a small smirk ignoring the boy. The rest of the school day passes uneventfully and when he and Gavin walk to his car to drive home he pulls his phone out. He stops his walk at the notification that he had a message back from Michael’s dad.

“Jeremy?”

“He messaged me back.”

“WHAT DOES IT SAY!”

Gavin is too loud and multiple people stop to stare at the pair, if either was easily embarrassed they would be red, but they weren’t. Jeremy just rolls his eyes continuing their walk and once they are in his car he speaks.

“I mean I haven’t looked yet Gav. I was just shocked he actually opened my message to begin with.”

“So open it.”

Jeremy bites his lip as he stares at the notification on his phone before doing just that, opening the message. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but the hello handsome that greeted him was a happy surprise.

“He called me handsome Gav.”

“Huh maybe he is gay after all.”

“Seriously that’s your one thought?”

“No but I think you should keep it going. But I would make sure he knows you are younger.”

“Yea... I wonder how old he is. I mean Michael’s 20.”

“Talk to him a bit more and then just mention your age and be like I hope someone as worldly as you doesn’t mind talking to me. Maybe he’ll tell you then.”

The next few weeks pass with Jeremy casually messaging Michael’s dad, Ryan he should call him he supposed. They had talked about a lot, including age, Ryan was 36 twice Jeremy’s age but that wasn’t a deterrent. And then he opens his phone one morning to a text from Ryan, they had exchanged numbers after a week.

So how about a real date tonight?

Jeremy just stares before running from his house next door and knocking on the door, knowing Gavin would be home but the others probably wouldn’t.

“Jeremy?”

Gavin was still half asleep, not surprising the boy would miss school like daily if not for Jeremy making him be on time.

“Gavin he asked me if I wanted to go on a date tonight.”

That wakes Gavin up fully and he opens the door letting Jeremy in.

“So?”

“What do I do?”

“Jeremy you’ve been chatting with him for weeks, you told me you like him a lot, and for more than just his looks. You go on a fucking date with him.”

“But.”

“But what Jeremy.”

“What if he expects something different than me?”

“I doubt it. Tell him yes, ask when and where and then let’s get you ready.”

Jeremy lets out a little breath but responds to the message.

I’d like that. Where are we going and when?

He pauses for a moment wondering if that’s the proper response when he gets a reply almost instantly.

I can’t tell you where it’s a surprise. But dress casually. And I’ll pick you up at 6.

“He says dress casually.”

“Ask how casual. Because you and I have a different idea of casual and you want to make sure.”

Knowing that what Gavin says is true he pauses before sending a new message.

How casual is casual?

He watches as he gets three dots pulled up as Ryan responds.

Maybe not a T-shirt but jeans and a nice shirt would work. Can’t wait to see you.

And now he is flushing slightly Jesus Christ how was this man doing this to him.

Can’t wait to see you either. x

The x at the end was a bit bold but he couldn’t help it he was actually stoked for his date. He heads back to his house. After all he had almost ten hours until his date and he was hungry and needed to shower and go through all his clothes. Five thirty rolls around and he’s dressed and ready to go, his parents had wondered where he was going but when he said out with a friend they just assumed it was someone from school and let it go. He was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans cuffed at the bottom with a light blue button up and a pair of white sneakers. He’s nervous but ready, it wasn’t his first date with an older man his last boyfriend was 25 to his then 17 almost 18. He gets lost in his thoughts h til the doorbell rings and then he jumps from his seat wanting to make sure his parents don’t answer the door. When he spots Ryan standing there looking very much like the model he used to be in a black button up with a pair of jeans and sneakers his heart starts to beat a bit faster.

“Hi Jeremy.”

His voice is deeper than Jeremy had thought it would be and timber causes his body to warm.

“Hi Ryan.”

“So do I need to talk to your parents.”

“No.”

The word comes quickly as Jeremy sets outside having grabbed a jacket from behind the door as he left.

“Are you embarrassed by me?”

Ryan’s question catches Jeremy off guard for a second and then he answers truthfully.

“No I’m embarrassed by them. They aren’t the most traditional parents and I try not to scare off the men I like before we’ve had an actual date by introducing them to my parents.”

“But I will get introduced?”

“I promise. Eventually you will. Once I’m certain they won’t scare you off.”

“And it has nothing to do with me being twice your age?”

“God no. My last boyfriend was eight years older than me. They know I like older. And they don’t mind. My dad is fifteen years older than my mom.”

By now they are in Ryan’s car and driving to their date spot and Jeremy has slightly relaxed. When they pull up to a building Jeremy’s never seen before he looks at Ryan.

“I hope you like Italian. I would have picked something else but I wanted it to be somewhere you hadn’t been before and few people have been here.”

“I love Italian and I have never been here you are right.”

“Good.”

The smile that breaks across Ryan’s face makes Jeremy’s heart swell a bit. After they have ordered and are waiting Ryan asks the question Jeremy had been expecting from the moment they started talking.

“So how did you even find my Instagram?”

“Well... I go to school with Michael. And he posted something with you in it a while ago. And I saw and clicked your screen name and instantly attracted to you so I followed you. But I was like 16 at the time? And then I got a boyfriend and I kind of just would occasionally like something you posted that I liked. You posted a picture of a view with some beautiful cherry blossoms one day and I wished I could see the cherry blossoms so I liked that. And then I broke up with the boyfriend after like 5 months? And just kinda stayed single. And I turned 18 and didn’t think you were attracted to men. So I didn’t think I had a chance or anything. But then I mentioned you to my best friend and he told me I should at least try. So I said hi and you know the rest.”

“Is it weird to you that you go to school with my son?”

“Is it weird for you? I’m not worried about it. And if I didn’t I would never have even met you so I’m kinda glad I do.”

“Me too.”

Their date continues with the pair talking about any and everything and then Ryan drives them to a small cafe.

“I don’t really like coffee but I don’t want this to end and I was hoping you would want to chat a bit longer.”

“I don’t like coffee either. Well I’ll drink it occasionally but it’s bitter so I tend not to but I absolutely want to keep chatting.”

And chat they do, for hours their conversation continues, past closing time of the cafe and into the early morning hours before Ryan makes his way back to Jeremy’s house.

“I had a great time. I’d really like to do this again.”

“Me too.”

Jeremy bites his lip as his eyes meet Ryan’s. They were parked out front of Jeremy’s house and Ryan pauses for a second before leaning across the center console and placing a kiss to the younger mans lips.

“So after I meet your parents I’ll take you to see the cherry blossoms.”

“After?”

“Well I figure if we are going to go to Japan together I should at least try and reassure them I’m not going to kill you there.”

“Japan?!”

“While Washington D.C. has beautiful cherry blossoms, that’s where that picture was from, Japan’s are even better. But don’t worry they don’t bloom til the new year so we have a few months.”

“But I have school.”

“Spring break is in March right?”

“Yea.”

“We can go then. But I’ve got to meet your parents first. They will be beautiful then and look amazing with your handsomeness.”

“March is a while away.”

“All the more time to get to know you better.”

Five months to be exact, and he doesn’t see how Ryan could put up with him for five months, his last boyfriend hadn’t ending it stating that Jeremy was too needy, too annoying, and too young.

October passes with little event, they went out on three more dates before Ryan had looked at Jeremy and told him he was so glad they were boyfriends. Jeremy had been wondering about their relationship but hadn’t wanted to bring it up so hearing that made his heart soar. And the following dates always lasted for hours, with the pair cuddling and kissing and just happy to be together.

November starts with Jeremy’s parents asking about his new boyfriend and if he’s like to come to Thanksgiving dinner. Jeremy asks Ryan but unfortunately the older man is unable to come, he had promised his own parents he would go home since Michael was with his mom for the holiday this year. They make plans to meet up for dinner before hand though and by some grace of god Jeremy’s parents don’t completely ruin his life. Ryan actually like them, and they like him as well. Their dates slowly end with Jeremy staying the night at Ryan’s usually nothing more than cuddling and sleeping going on because they both agree they want to take it slow.

December is full of dates, kisses and cuddles. Jeremy panics for a full week over what to get Ryan for his birthday and then Christmas which is right after. Ryan had bought Jeremy and himself tickets to Japan after that first date but still picked out a bunch of random little things along the way which he saw and instantly thought of Jeremy. Ryan invited Jeremy over on Christmas Eve because he knew the younger was spending the holiday with family, aunts and uncles came into town with their family, and introduced Jeremy to Michael as his boyfriend. Michael looks shocked for a moment before nodding his head. And despite the fact that Michael is rude to him every time they see each other at school their conversation is polite and Jeremy is glad he had picked up a gift for Michael when he was out as well.

January starts with an Instagram post. Three months after they started dating officially they both post the same picture, sharing a kiss as the new year is rung in, with identical captions as well. I’m so excited to start this year with you. The first week of January is spent exploring a new stage in their relationship. Jeremy started staying over nightly, and there was less sleep than there had been before. It had never felt as right before and Jeremy was glad they had waited, glad it was Ryan. He didn’t want to think that he loved the man but he knew already that he did. Michael started coming around to him as well, there were less incidents at school, in fact he could count on one hand all of them for the first time in years, opposed to the once a day attacks from before.

The first day of school in February starts a lot like his old days had, with Michael shoving him into a locker, but this time they are alone in the hall it was before hours.

“You aren’t just fucking with my dad to get back at me right?”

Jeremy sees the look in Michael’s eyes and knows he’s just being protective of his dad because he loves him.

“No Michael. I know I said I would fuck him to get back at you but honestly I wouldn’t have. I like him, a lot. He’s the first guy who hasn’t made me feel like I’m not worthy of affection and he makes me really happy.”

“He is too. I just... his last boyfriend was an asshole and really hurt him.”

“I know what that’s like and that’s the last thing I want to do. I... I haven’t told him so I don’t know why I’m telling you. But I love him. He’s my heart and my soul and I’d probably be really lost without him.”

“Okay...”

“I know we don’t really get along Michael, though it’s been better since you found out about us but no matter how I feel about you I wouldn’t fuck with someone else to get back at you. And we are better or I like to think we are.”

“He deserves to be happy.”

“And I want to help make him happy for as long as I can.”

Michael nods his head before moving away from Jeremy and then speaking again.

“So what are you getting him for Valentine’s Day?”

“I have no idea. Well I have an idea but I don’t know if he’ll think it’s as cool or useful as I do.”

“Need some help?”

Jeremy pauses before looking at Michael wide eyed.

“Really? You’d help me.”

“Yea. So what do you say?”

“That’s be great.”

And that’s how Michael almost completely got over being a dickbag to Jeremy. There was still the occasional moment when a bit of his former hatred popped out but for the most part they were fine. Valentine’s Day was a major success, Jeremy had been thrilled with his gifts from Ryan, stuff for their japan trip and a few more romantic things that they could enjoy together. And Ryan was beyond happy with the collection of custom Diet Coke bottles, that Michael helped him pick out, the luggage separators to improve space and a few little things that no one else needed to see, and of course the confession from Jeremy, tears in his eye as they eat dinner together of I love you. The words come softly and then bolder and Ryan can’t help but respond in the same. Somehow after four short months he knew he loved this man. And then there is the last minute panic and hurry to make sure they have everything for their trip in a month, between packing and buying and searching they manage to find time for dates and kisses and love galore.

March starts slow, they have two weeks before Japan and Jeremy is stressing about midterms, and has basically moved into Ryan’s house. Ryan has taken to making him dinner every night, helping him study and giving him massages when he’s super stressed. In return Jeremy helps Michael study, cooks breakfast for them all in the morning and peppers Ryan with love and affection at every turn. At the end of the second week they check their luggage one more time and get ready to be brought to the airport. Jeremy had stayed with Ryan that night, he had been fluttering between there and his own house, mainly because he missed Gavin’s bullshit and his parents own version of crazy, and when they woke up the next morning for Michael to drive them to the airport he’s jittery, texting Gavin the entire time.

I can’t believe this is real.

His words are more from a shocking bout of insecurity and Gavin sees right through them before responding.

It’s real. You deserve this and so much more. You have someone who loves you for exactly who you are and you are so blessed to love him in return. It’s something that many people hope for and you have it. Now have an amazing time in Japan with your love and tell me about it when you get home.

When they finally land in Japan, Jeremy is bouncing from the need to move, being on the plane so long was killing him.

“Calm down love.”

“I am calm. I’m just glad to not be on the plane anymore and I’m excited to spend the next week exploring with you.”

Ryan places a kiss to Jeremy’s forehead as they wait for their luggage. And they do spend that week exploring, though Ryan makes sure they visit the cherry blossoms every day. On their last day in Japan during their last visit to the cherry blossoms Jeremy looks around him, he could never have imagined anything better than this. He turns to say something to Ryan and his hands fly to his mouth spotting the man down on one knee.

“I know it’s only been a few months, and I know you are still young. But I was hoping you would be willing to make me even happier than I am now, happier than I thought was possible and marry me?”

“Really?”

His question is silent as he stares directly into Ryan’s eyes and he sees the love and sincerity in them.

“Absolutely.”

Before Ryan can say anything else Jeremy has answered his own question, he knew he loved Ryan, knew Ryan loved him, knew this moment was perfect. He leans down kissing Ryan with all his mite, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’m so in love with you.”

“And I with you.”

“You did good Ry.”

Hearing the female voice Jeremy turns confused and then he sees a short blonde woman smiling at him with Michael behind her.

“Um...”

“I know this is unconventional but I wanted Michael to be here. He is my son after all. And he told me when I asked that he thought we would be great together so he gave me his blessing to propose. I asked your parents but they said they would celebrate with us when we got home.”

“I think the um was more about mom, dad than me being here. Jeremy this is my mom, mom this is Jeremy.”

“Hi hun. I’m sorry I know it’s your moment and all but I figured you guys might want some pictures, and Michael took a video as well. I’m just glad that Ryan has someone to love him like you do.”

“It’s so nice to meet you. Thank you for the pictures and video, Michael. I’m lucky that in marrying Ryan I get you both as part of my family.”

They talk for a few minutes before Michael and his mom leave the newly engaged couple alone. Jeremy just smiles at Ryan nonstop and then his phone goes off with a message, he’s been tagged in a post by Michael. He opens his phone to Instagram and spots one of the pictures they had taken moments before. I’m glad you love my dad as much as he loves you. It features Ryan kissing Jeremy’s cheek as Jeremy smiles widely and has an arm wrapped around Michael.

“You know he’s a pain in the ass sometimes but I really am glad he’s your kid cause I wouldn’t know you otherwise.”

“You are preaching to the choir.”

Jeremy and Ryan both post pictures then, Jeremy posting one of the four of them, and Ryan posting one of everyone but himself, they share the same caption though a single word, Family. They hold off posting about their engagement until they are back in the states, mainly because Jeremy wanted to tell his parents and Gavin in person, even though his parents knew. Cuddled in bed with Ryan one day after they’ve been home for a few weeks Jeremy thinks back to that faithful day when he repeated his mantra of it gets better and a smile breaks onto his face. Because it was true and he was so grateful for that, because every day, every moment, every second with Ryan it really gets better.

#ragehappy #jeremwood #jeremy #ryan #michael #gavin #an au where ryan is michaels dad #i read a story about how a guy fucked his high school bullys dad to get back at the bully #and was like this screams jeremwood #i dont even ship this #stephanisincere #stephani is trash #ah ragehappy #ah au

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songofwizardry · 5 years

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wolfstar teacher!au, part 2: the other marauders

part 1 of my wolfstar teacher!au that I posted an embarrassingly long time ago (you can find it here) got way, waaay more attention than I was expecting it to, so here y’all go: part 2, the backstory for Sirius, James and Peter, and how they all ended up in and around Hogwarts. Feat. our faves, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter! as always, enjoy and let me know what y’all think! [content warning: parental queerphobia/abuse/implied awfulness in bullet points 3 to 6.] ☆------------------------☆------------------------☆

So let’s talk about where our faves, the rest of the Marauders, are.

Being posh af, both James Potter and Sirius Black attended Hogwarts from the time they started secondary school.

Originally from London, Sirius is the kid of Orion, a Senegalese diplomat who was posted in London right at the start of his career, and Walburga, oldest daughter of a Ghanaian-French high-society couple, who moved from Paris to London when she was a child.

Sirius’ interactions with their family headed straight towards disastrous very quickly—during their initial years at Hogwarts, Sirius’ rebellion got more and more noticeable, all number of increasingly-terse letters and increasingly-angry phone calls were exchanged during term-time, and summers got increasingly-awful every year. This culminated in Sirius being outed, in a horrible, dramatic, and very teen-TV-drama-very-special-queer-episode-esque way at one am one night, the summer between their fifth and sixth years.

The ensuing conversation (‘I will not tolerate anything – anyone – of that sort under my roof!’ / ‘Well that’s fucking fine, isn’t it, because I won’t be under your roof!’ / ‘You’re doing this to yourself, Sirius, remember that—we’re not kicking you out. You’re making this choice.’ / ‘Oh yes, just one in a long string of things I’ve chosen to do, things I’ve chosen to be, isn’t it? Fine, then, I’m choosing to leave.’) meant that Sirius walked out of Grimmauld Place at about two-thirty in the morning, with only their coat, their mobile that was on twenty percent charge, and their ‘emergencies’ bag that they’d had for years now (it didn’t contain much more than several old cereal bars, about a hundred quid in change that a much-younger Sirius had squirrelled away, and a scrap of paper, dating back to first year, with James’ home number and his address scrawled on in messy handwriting that was definitely not Sirius’).

More than slightly out of it, Sirius ended up walking to the end of the road, called a cab to drive them across London in the middle of the night, paid the ludicrous eighty-something pound fare in mostly one- and two-pound coins, and finally, at about four in the morning, stood in front of the Potters’ house and called their landline.

(It was James’ dad who picked up, James’ dad who insisted Just call me Monty, now, none of that, whenever Sirius referred to him as Mr. Potter, James’ dad who’d given Sirius a hug the second time they’d met and whose glasses were somehow, impossibly, even more crooked than James’ own. When he picked up the phone, his voice was thicker, accent broader, with sleep; and Sirius, suddenly horribly unsure, crumpled the ancient note from James in one fist and said, “Hey, uh, Mr. Potter? I’ve—well, I’ve left my house, I’m—outside yours? Can I come in?”)

That was how Sirius, short of everything but legal adoption, ended up a Potter child, had their diet switched to one that suddenly contained far too many rotis, and was introduced by James solely as his sibling, with an associated glare that dared anyone to question it.

After Hogwarts, Sirius’ deep-seated desire to not return to London manifested in them running off to St. Andrews to do a fine art degree. Mrs. Potter, who had been looking forward to having the children not be off in Scotland, was slightly disappointed, but she responded by instead posting Sirius numerous packages of fancy teabags, because Mrs. Potter (rightfully) believed that in the absence of being actually there to fuss over someone, the next best alternative was to provide them with tea.

While Sirius was off being artsy as fuck, James Potter was off… also being pretty artsy. In a move that made Monty raise his eyebrows and quietly wonder how he’d ended up with not one, but two children doing creative arts, James stayed closer to home, went to Reading, and read English and Creative Writing. It took staying on for a Master’s for James to decide he’d had enough of academia, and of the overwhelming whiteness of English departments, for a bit, and to decide that he wanted A Break, and also a source of income that wasn’t a student loan. Enter Sirius.

James had been off being pretty unemployable, while Sirius was being… slightly more employable. A couple years volunteering during their degree had led them to the shocking realisation that holy shit, they liked teaching people about artsy shit. Their only problem was that nobody (short of the Potter parents, but Sirius wasn’t keen on taking more money from them) wanted to fund an art teacher. A year out of uni, with a year of mixed work and volunteering under their belt – leading museum tours, art therapy at kids’ hospitals, one particularly fantastic weekend spent spray-painting with a youth group in Manchester, pretty much anything they could get their hands on that had ‘art’ and ‘young people’ in the description – Sirius heard, through the grapevine, that Trelawney had finally retired.

On a whim, they called up Hogwarts. The conversation with Dumbledore went something like this: ‘I haven’t got a teaching qualification, sir, but I do have a full year of experience–‘ / ‘We’re an independent school, Sirius, we don’t exactly need the qualification. Anyway, an art degree and some experience is more than Sibyl had when she started, so why don’t you send an application along to me, hmm?’

Hogwarts got back to Sirius quickly, which is how, a week later, they called up James, saying, “Hey, you know how you wanted a break from uni and all that shit? How do you feel about moving to Hogsmeade with me?”

It was a completely impractical decision. James, unlike Sirius, didn’t have a job offer there, didn’t have plans, he only had the sudden realisation that he’d kinda missed living with Sirius, and his pretty-unshakeable confidence that things would always turn out the way they were meant to.

He said yes.

Which is how, two years down the road, we find the two of them here—living opposite The Three Broomsticks in a small house, one bedroom on the bottom floor and one on the top, that’s owned by Rosmerta.

Sirius is an established figure at Hogwarts, where they’re a bit of a student favourite and have acquired a reputation for being slightly chaotic (possibly because they once let a stressed year eleven class decorate the wall of the art classroom, spray-painting it with the words No such thing as bad art!).

James, being a bit too posh to have ever done the unemployed-grad thing of waiting tables, is a triple-threat freelancer instead—he writes fortnightly book reviews, which often end up with a bit of a commentary on The Human Condition, for eccentric magazine The Quibbler; he contributes regularly to Parivaar, an online artsy zine/website/collective that started up in Birmingham but has now got contributors across the UK and readers across the world, that describes itself as art, fiction, and opinions by and for desi rebels, misfits and weirdos; and, because Hogsmeade is small, he does the marketing and runs the social media for The Three Broomsticks—which isn’t much work, considering how small it is, but at least he can ensure the fifty-odd people, mostly students, who follow @3BroomsticksPub only see grammatically-perfect tweets.

The Potter parents are… slightly concerned about James’ rather non-traditional sources of income, but Euphemia reads The Quibbler and can’t deny he writes very well, and he says he’s fine and no, the two of them don’t need any help with the rent, thank you very much, so they tut a bit from afar and perhaps still send them too many teabags, and load both James and Sirius up with a frankly ridiculous number of tupperware containers full of curry and roti when they come visit.

This is when James and Sirius meet Peter Pettigrew.

It’s a rainy evening in late March. The two of them have, earlier that day, just come back up from London, where they spent the weekend with James’ parents, who wanted to see him for his birthday. They’re now in the Three Broomsticks, because that’s what they do—Sirius is nursing a pint, hair up in a bun, sketching out an idea for a mural—they’ve convinced Dumbledore that the third-floor corridor that students insist is haunted by the spirit of a giant, three-headed dog is in need of a rebrand before another generation of first-years gets pranked by being trapped in there and is scarred for life. James has lemonade and is watching Sirius, recounting the many tales of the three-headed dog he heard during his time at Hogwarts, including the one story that claims the spirit is called Fluffy. This is when they see Peter.

Anyone new at The Three Broomsticks sticks out when it’s not a student visit weekend, and this short white guy, his hair and coat and rucksack wet from the rain, is no exception. He looks damp and cold and rather lost and lonely, sitting at a corner table with a drink, so James, being Euphemia and Monty’s son and thus, genetically speaking, destined to be the ultimate mother hen, decides to go over to him and offer to buy him some of Rosmerta’s excellent, and very warming, tomato soup. That’s just what James does, and Sirius is used to it at this point, so they only watch, amused, as James drags the sodden stranger over to join their table.

Introductions are made, and they learn that Peter, who was born in Shropshire, trained to be a nurse in Shropshire, and until very recently, worked in Shropshire, had finally left Shropshire – for good – for Hogsmeade, because his Mum had died earlier that year and he couldn’t stay in the same house. Through the NHS friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend grapevine, he’d ended up finding a job at St. Mungo’s Hospital, a few towns over, and was moving in with a woman he’d only spoken to on the phone, a Lily Evans—she was also a friend-of-a-friend found through the same grapevine, lived further down in Hogsmeade, towards the Hog’s Head, and had recently also started work at St. Mungo’s, and needed someone to split the rent with. In short, Peter explains, draining the very last of the admittedly-incredible tomato soup, everything feels like a bit of a mess, and he would really like to take a nap for about a week.

Aforementioned mother hen, James, is appropriately horrified and sympathetic at Peter’s plight, and declares himself and Sirius Peter’s “official guides” to life in Hogsmeade and settling in.

It’s only a few short months after this – a few months during which Peter hangs out with James and Sirius regularly at The Three Broomsticks, they meet his housemate Lily, and Sirius lets the leavers’ class, slightly dead after all their exams, help paint a giant mural on the third-floor corridor that features a surprisingly-cute three-headed ghost dog, with the Hogwarts crest and the word FLUFFY on its collar – that Sirius hears about The New Teacher.

At this point, they’re kinda used to the disaster that is the state of physics teaching at Hogwarts. It’s early in the summer, and they’re vaguely aware that Flitwick is running interviews again, only because it’s the talk of the staff room and the entire science department have looked like they’re on the verge of breakdown since Moody, or as they call it in the staff room, The Iraqi Plane Incident.

That weekend, though, they run into Flitwick in Gladrags, where Flitwick is searching, as always, for trousers that will fit his small frame, and Flitwick takes one look at them, grins, and says, “Sirius! We found someone! He’s called Lupin, he’s got an actual physics degree, and, consider this, he seems decent!”

And that is the first thing Sirius Black hears about Remus Lupin.

#wolfstar #harry potter #wolfstar au #remus lupin #sirius black #teacher!au #everyone is gay #james potter #peter pettigrew #desi james potter #euphemia potter #fleamont potter #james potter is the ultimate mother hen #lily evans #gay remus lupin #queer sirius black #this au is getting out of hand #repost because typos

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killervibe · 5 years

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Lux et Veritas

Chapter 1: Cisco and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Read Prologue here

Everything was always immaculate here, Cisco thought. How the walls and floors were shining white and polished. The state of the art equipment expensive in a way that had him skittish to touch the first few weeks, afraid of being scolded for using them.

He never was.

The people around him were too busy to take his notice, in their white coats and pencil skirts with heels bustling around him, all doing their jobs, just like Cisco was doing his. And how nice, he thought, getting to do this for real, some day.

Cisco was busy scribbling his signature on the papers, finalizing his last report after the data entry he finished. The lab was near empty, and he glanced around it, committing all the details to memory. He had taken to this lab from the very moment he had been assigned to the department, it had served well this summer as a quiet safe space, a home away from home.

Immersed in his paperwork, Cisco missed the mechanic swish of the automated glass door sliding open, not realizing he had company until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He smiled up at his supervisor, The Dr. Wells. It’s been three months and he still couldn’t believe it.

“Well, it’s three-thirty. You’re done. How does it feel?”

Cisco let go of his pen and sighed wistfully. “Honestly, Sir. Kinda down. I really like it here.”

“I’m glad. You were excellent to work with. I’ve already drafted a glowing recommendation for wherever you choose to pursue your higher education.”

A flush came to his face, and Cisco glanced aside, shy from the praise.

“Thank you, Dr. Wells.”

“No, thank you. Where are you wanting to go to school?”

Cisco opened his mouth to reply when Tess Morgan sidled up to Dr. Wells’s side.

He wrapped an arm around his wife’s waist and she clucked her tongue. “Don’t stress him, Harrison. He still has plenty of time to decide.”

“Well, my girlfriend and I were always planning for an Ivy,” Cisco said. “But I’d also take MIT or Caltech.”

“Engineering, I hope.”

“Yessir.”

Cisco stood up, unclipping his ID. School started tomorrow. Somehow swapping his Star Labs keycard for his old library pass was kind of depressing.

He looked down at it, his laminated card, the serial number they gave him. The picture he had taken on his first day, how he was pretty sure he blinked and yet it still turned out better than any framed Picture Day photograph hanging on the walls at home.

He felt important here. Like he belonged, like someone finally (finally) looked at him and went Yes, you. We like you. You’re good.

Cisco knew he was good, in the back of his mind, front of his mind, whatever. His GPA said so. His report cards said so. Barry said so (Hartley didn't, but who cared about him). Caitlin used to say so. He felt he was good.

Cisco hoped he was good, but was he really? Enough?

Probably not. And still, this taste of a dream, of his future that he so desperately wants to live now already is enough to motivate him to work harder to get it again. Permanently, next time. With his own lab and a desk with his name on it. A degree, a couple of them, with his name in latin script hanging nearby next to a window.

Hold your horses, he told himself. He needed to graduate high school first.

Cisco gave up his ID, handing it to Dr. Wells.

Dr. Wells looked down at the badge, but didn’t say anything for a while.

Tess grinned, “Oh stop with the suspense, look how sad the boy is, just tell him already.”

“What?” Cisco asked, looking back and forth between the scientist and his wife, unfollowing.

“The thing is, Mr. Ramon,” Dr. Wells began, returning the ID, “I’m not sure I want this back. Because the truth is, I’ve grown quite fond of you. And Tess and I were wondering if you’d like to continue shadowing at Star Labs during the Fall. Say, twice a week after school?”

Cisco’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. “You want me to stay?!”

“We’d love to have you, Cisco,” Tess finished, beaming. “What do you say?”

“—I’d have to ask my parents,” he said immediately, and he winced at how juvenile that sounded but was relieved to see the two nod in agreement, “But that would be the best thing I’ve heard all summer.”

“Come back sometime next week, schedule an appointment and we can discuss contracts with a legal consultant, and a guardian of course.”

“Thank you so much!”

Dr. Wells shook his head, shooing him out. “Go. Enjoy your last day of summer vacation.”

~.~

Cisco was on cloud nine when he parked Dante’s car in the guest garage of Caitlin’s estate, bouncing on his heels in the elevator.

He fired off a quick text to tell her he made it in, then bounded for her library where he knew she would be memorizing the course outlines for tomorrow’s schedule. He creeped up behind her where she was reading silently at her desk, still a little off guard at all the tin-foil silver in her hair.

He covered her eyes, kissing her cheek and she dropped her pen. “Guess who?” he murmured.

Cisco removed his hands and she turned her head over her shoulder. “Hi.” Her eyes shined bright and soft, blinking at him with easy cheer. He couldn’t keep it in any longer, the news near busting inside him as he rubbed up and down her bare arms excitedly.

“Guess who’s boyfriend just got offered a Fall placement at Star Labs?”

Caitlin gaped, turning around. “Mine?”

“Yours! And Dr. Wells said he already wrote me a letter of recommendation for college!”

Caitlin squeezed his hand. “That’s amazing, oh my gosh! You deserve it!”

He shared her smile, pulling her up from the chair, and turning on the lights. Why she kept herself hidden in the dark alcove with only a window was beyond him when her house was equipped with the best green energy efficient systems on the market.

Her words spread a warmth in his chest and he wanted to believe them, but still, doubt creeped into his mind. His fingers skimmed over her dark wooden desk, focusing on rearranging her gel pens.

“Do you think so, really? All I was doing was writing notes and doing small lab assignments.”

Caitlin folded her arms, raising an eyebrow. “Stop selling yourself so short. You’re the smartest person I know.”

He looked up at her. "You're not just saying that because I'm your boyfriend so you kinda have to, but really, secretly, like deep down next your dark chocolate obsession you think Lily Stein the smartest?"

Caitlin laughed, swatting his arm like that would smack the silliness out of his head. "I am not obsessed with dark chocolate!"

"Sure you're not," he countered, eyes crinkling when she pressed a kiss to his cheek to distract him from checking her waste paper basket to prove his point.

"Lily's intelligent. Hartley's sharp. But you're my favourite smartypants," she said.

Cisco smirked a little, “You think Hartley got the same offer? Bet he didn’t.”

Caitlin rolled her eyes at Cisco’s ongoing battle with his nemesis, choosing not to comment. “We should celebrate.”

“We should,” he enthused, offering her his arm. She took it, looking at him expectantly. “How about dinner?”

~.~

After food, Cisco took Caitlin to the little dessert shop that overlooked the river. They shared cheesecake and Sprite, clinking each other’s forks.

Caitlin kept looking over at the water, quiet.

She’d been like that, lately, off and on. Like she'd fall into moods where she was afraid to talk.

“Is everything okay?”

She took a moment to respond, scraping cheesecake off the plate. “Fine.”

He gave her a look. Maybe there were things that changed between them. But Cisco will never lose the skill of knowing when she lied. And Caitlin knew that too.

“I’m just—Worried. About school.”

“You love school.”

“I love learning,” she corrected, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t love CC High. Not anymore.”

“That’s fair.”

“I’ve been dreaming about this year since middle school. Starting it with you and applying to college. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long. What if I don’t get into a good school?”

Cisco held his tongue. There was zero chance that Caitlin would be rejected from any university, and, to be frank, there was nothing her mother’s money couldn’t buy. She was a shoo in, has been since Freshman year to all the good schools. And even if she weren't a phenomenal student, legacy alone would admit Caitlin into every college her mother’s research was affiliated with.

He thought about Tess Morgan, and echoed her sentiment. “Isn’t it a little early?”

Caitlin looked out at the water again.

He wondered if her mother was pressuring her. He wouldn't be surprised, school was ramping up soon and with that came a tremendous amount of stress after years of all talk. Maybe Dr. T had finally laid down the law, and it was daunting. Cisco assumed it would be, considering the pressure he put on himself, and he didn't even have anyone counting on him to make it. At least, not until he met the Wells family, and their encouragement had never been coercive. Maybe coercive wasn't the right word. Caitlin's mom was...Intense.

“...Is this about Star Labs? Because I can put in a good word about you with Dr. Wells or help you find—“

He watched Caitlin’s face fall, rushing to deny it. “No, no no. It’s not that. I promise. I don’t mind. You don’t have to do that. I just—I left such a mess.”

Cisco reflected on the past year. She was not wrong. But it was not all her fault.

She gave him a sad smile, “I just wish things didn’t have to change.”

Cisco frowned, sensing she was talking about something a little beyond high school. “They don’t. You’re my forever, Caitlin. Nothing has to change, I’m right here.”

She blinked back tears, shrugging. “I just miss...” she went to her locket. The one she’s never taken off since the funeral. The one with his picture in it, hiding under her dad’s.

His face softened as it clicked. He should've known.

He took her hand, kissing it softly.

“I know.”

~.~

Cisco had a Pop-Tart hanging out of his mouth as he dumped all of his things into his old school bag. He ran a brush through his hair a few times, threw on a light jean jacket, and slung the bag over his shoulder. He bit off another gooey piece before banging on the bathroom door.

“Dante, dios!” he shouted over the loud rush of water. He’s been in there for half an hour already.

“The bathroom! I have to go!”

His mom’s voice called from downstairs. “Deja entrar a tu hermano!”

He rattled on the doorknob, but it was locked. He swore under his breath again, checking his watch. “Dude!”

“Bro, calm down, what the fuck,” Dante groused, unlocking the door with a towel around his waist. The steam went billowing out and Cisco almost choked on the intensity of the deodorant spray.

He pushed past Dante, muttering, going for his toothbrush. He paused before sticking it in his mouth with the toothpaste. “Aren’t you late? Don’t you have an 8:30 class?”

His brother rolled his eyes. “Chill. I’m skipping.”

Cisco’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, spitting into the sink.

“You’re skipping?”

Dante rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, you’re such a nerd. It’s not like high school, dumbass. Everyone skips class in college.”

“Is it recorded?”

“No.”

“Do you have friends in your class to take notes from?”

“No.”

“Are you going to work on another class instead?”

“No. I’m going to watch Netflix then probably take another nap before practice with the band.”

Cisco ran his hand through his nicely done hair. “Dante, I don’t understand you.”

Dante walked across the hall to their shared room, pulling on clothes.

“Don’t worry about it. Have a nice day at school. Kiss all the teacher’s asses for me.”

Cisco pulled himself together, breathing in deeply, reminding himself that he loved his brother and wasn’t allowed to smack him while he glared.

“Can I use your car?” he gritted between his teeth as Dante shuffled his hair some, ruining it altogether.

Dante waved him off. “I don’t use that crap anymore. It might as well be yours.”

He was already texting Caitlin that he was coming to pick her up, his eyes glued to his phone as he walked out the front door when his mother pulled him back by the strap of his backpack.

She kissed both his cheeks, pushing a sandwich into his hands. “Don’t break that attendance record. Give Caitlin a kiss for me.”

“Si,” he replied, waving goodbye at his little sister shrieking his name before he jogged down the apartment steps, not bothering to wait for the elevator.

Why’d his place always have to be so hectic?

~.~

Caitlin kissed him after she slammed the car door close, buckling in her seatbelt, grumbling under her breath.

"Mom troubles?"

"Just drive."

Cisco looked in the rearview mirror as he put the Toyota in reverse.

It was windy in a nice crisp September morning way, and Caitlin rolled down the window.

“You look cute,” he said as he drove off her estate.

Caitlin shrugged, “I wear a blazer every first day. It’s tradition.”

“I’ve noticed.”

It fell quiet. Caitlin wasn’t much of a morning person, and it was the first day of the scariest school year they’d face yet. There was too much going on in their minds for riveting conversations.

Cisco took a swig of water at a red light ten minutes later, stuck in the morning rush hour. He swished it in his mouth then swallowed.

“So I was thinking—”

“I was wondering—”

They both stopped.

“You go first,” Caitlin said.

“I was thinking that maybe you should talk to Barry before the bell. Just to get a fresh start. I can come with you.”

Caitlin curled her fingers around her designer bag, some big brand fashion company with lots of consonants like X and Z’s that Cisco could never remember.

“I don’t want to."

Cisco frowned. “But why? Barry isn’t mad at you, Caitlin. He just wants you to come back. He’s our best friend.”

She put her hand on his arm.

“You’re my best friend. You’re the only one I need.”

“So what, I’m stuck in the middle now? Homeroom to lunch with Barry, fourth period to final bell with you? How is that fair?”

“Actually,” she said. “I was thinking maybe we don’t make that big of a deal of it? Like, do people even need to know that we’re together again? Look what happened last time.”

Cisco narrowed his eyes. He didn’t like where this was going. “Caitlin. Everybody loves you. Nobody really loves me. This has already been established after what happened in April. Why does it matter anymore?”

She hesitated, tapping her fingers against the arm rest, leaning her head against the window. “I don’t want you to be a target again.”

“I don’t care,” Cisco said. “It’s just high school crap. I’m hoping we all got it out of our systems junior year. I haven’t kissed you in the hallway for how many months?”

Caitlin smiled down at her lap. “Six.”

Cisco made a disgruntled noise. “Six and a half, actually, but who’s counting?”

“Not me,” she lied.

They shared a glance.

“That’s too long. I’m not letting shitty people with nothing better to do stop me and neither should you.”

“Okay.”

She leaned over and kissed him quickly, then told him the light was green.

~.~

They had four classes together, but not homeroom, so Caitlin and Cisco split ways early on in the morning.

The bell rang, and Professor Stein cleared his throat.

“Welcome students to a bright academic year ahead!”

The class groaned, and Cisco shared an amused glance with Iris.

She leaned in, “Why does he say that every year?”

Cisco grimaced. “Fourth time’s the charm?”

Professor Stein told everyone to settle down as he took attendance, handed out the dozens of photocopied papers that needed their parents’ signatures and read the announcements. Soon enough, the bell rang, and they all got up to get to their first classes of the day.

Iris strapped her messenger bag over her shoulder. She wasn’t in the science stream, so this would be their only time together until humanities and AP English, which they didn’t have today.

“See you at lunch?”

“Yeah,” he said, then thought of something. “Can you keep an eye out for Caitlin? I’m just—Not sure what she’s thinking she’s going to do.”

“You mean with Lexi.”

He quirked an eyebrow. Students were starting to come in, so Cisco hurried out, grabbing Iris by the hand as the hallways started to flood. “You don’t like her either.”

Iris laughed callously, and they walked to their lockers. “Hell no.”

“Oh thank god,” he breathed, trying to keep up with her quick pace. “I just don’t understand why she won't try to fix things. You haven’t said anything to her, have you? You two aren't fighting?”

Cisco watched Iris hang her coat up. “No,” she said. “Fighting? We're not even talking. Don’t get me wrong. I was pissed last year. What she did was awful.”

He felt the need to defend her, when he knew he probably shouldn’t. Iris must’ve saw the look on his face and rolled her eyes.

“No need to get all Caitlin Snow protection squad on me. I don’t hold grudges like that. I came to the funeral, didn’t I?”

Patty and Linda showed up, tugging Iris away. “Hey, gotta jet, but I’ll try, okay? I’ll do some digging for you. Shawna’s pretty easy to squeeze.”

Cisco wanted to thank her, but she was too far gone, giggling with her friends.

He sighed, standing in the middle of the hall. Without even a second longer to breathe, Jake Puckett barged into him. “Watch it, mosquito.”

“We’re back to that, Jake? Really?” Cisco yelled after him, still getting jostled as the crowd of students thickened in the tight corridor.

Puckett continued his taunting. “You look like a girl. Why don’t you get a haircut?”

“Maybe my girl likes it long dipshit,” he shot back. “Not like you’d know what that’s like.”

That sent Cisco flying into the lockers.

“I deserved that one,” he muttered to himself, trying not to wince at the way the metal hinges dug into his back. He dropped his folder when he hit the wall, his green permission slips about emergency contact information and school behavioural contracts now getting stepped on by careless idiots he called classmates.

He darted between people in the crowd to get them back, annoyed that nobody cared to help him. Then, annoyed that he expected this shit to change now that he was a Senior in the first place.

Just one more year. One more year, Cisco uttered under his breath like a mantra, falling into his ethics class’ front row seat just on time.

Their teacher started sprouting some stupid idea about going around and introducing themselves, as if everybody hasn’t already known each other since elementary.

“Hi? Um, my name is Brie Larvan. And I want to be a beekeeper.”

Cisco rubbed his temples, his mantra intensified.

~.~

By lunch, Cisco was waiting by Caitlin’s locker.

He saw her walk out of history with Lexi and Shawna. She paused at seeing him, her eyes going a little wide.

“Cisco, what are you doing?” she said, looking nervously at Lexi and Shawna, who had their arms crossed with identical bitch faces.

“Lunch?”

“Like, disappear mosquito. She doesn’t want lunch with you.”

Caitlin frowned, opening her locker. She put a new textbook into a top shelf and grabbed her lunch box. “We don't call my boyfriend that. Yes, I do want lunch with him.”

She took Cisco’s hand, and he rose an eyebrow at Shawna, a smidge too smug.

“Sorry ladies, later.”

"Your boyfriend?" Shawna repeated, jaw dropping open.

Lexi gasped. “Caity!”

He felt her tension just by the way she held his hand. “I’ll see you in class, I’m still sitting next to you in art, just like we promised, right?”

Lexi’s smile looked a little off kilter. “Of course. Right. See you there, then. Have fun with...Cisco.”

Cisco, who had been trying to look anywhere but Lexi, eventually met her gaze.

She gave him a look, sucking lipstick off her teeth. It sent a chill down his spine, and he had forgotten (really, no, he hasn't, he really hasn't) how much he hated her.

She arched an eyebrow high in the air, like she was challenging him to acknowledge her. But Cisco didn't play her games.

He pulled Caitlin away, lacing their fingers together.

~.~

Cisco let Caitlin drag him far from Barry’s table without putting up a fight. In fact, they weren’t even eating in the cafeteria. They sat in the courtyard, watching the soccer team tryouts as Caitlin opened her packed box from her chef.

It was a nice day. Caitlin really did look gorgeous in her burgundy blazer and pleated skirt. It suited her, that classy uniform chic, and for the first time a thought occurred to him that struck odd. Caitlin belonged in a private school. One with 4.0 cut-offs, loads of legacy families, and a hundred thousand dollars for tuition. Dr. T letting her daughter stay in Central City to go to public school was a bit weird. She didn’t really belong here.

Cisco picked at dandelions as they talked, wondering why the grass was so unkept.

About twenty minutes in, Caitlin gave him a sly look.

Cisco looked up from his lunch, knowing that expression all too well. “If you’re going to kiss me, please let me finish my chicken first or else I never will, and I’m really hungry.”

She ignored him completely, prying the plastic container out of his hands. “Hey missy, I said I wasn’t— Mmmph!”

He missed this. He missed her. This Caitlin. His Caitlin.

It was like all the darkness swarming underneath her surface dissipated, and her true light was shining through.

He laughed as she climbed into his lap to kiss him more. They could get demerit points for this, and that heightened the sense of thrill. If they got caught it would be so worth it.

A shrill whistle pierced through the air and the two sprang apart. There was a foul on the soccer field.

“Still hungry?” she smirked with mirth, wiping the rest of her smudged lip gloss off.

He played with her silvery hair. “Um, yes,” he flirted, catching Caitlin’s heated gaze. “Famished.”

“Good thing I’m here then,” she murmured.

“Yes,” he agreed, inching closer. “Very good,” and slipped his tongue in her mouth.

They made out until the bell.

~.~

Outside was beautiful and peaceful. Cisco started to understand why Caitlin brought him out there.

“Oh my god, Caitlin! Over here!” Lisa shouted at the door, gesturing wildly at her to come back into the side entrance of school. “Hi Cisco!”

“Hey Lisa.”

Lisa Snart. She was something else, that one. Cute, in a dumb like a rock kind of way.

Maybe that was mean.

Lexi appeared over Lisa’s shoulder. "Come on, Caitlin! We’re going to be late!”

He got up with a sigh, and gave his girlfriend a hand. She took it, hers slender and soft in his, and didn’t let go.

They began walking towards Caitlin’s new posse.

“Why are they so possessive? It’s unnerving,” he couldn’t help but blurt out.

“It’s not me. It’s you. They think—”

“I know what they think,” he snapped, cross. As did everybody, no doubt. Cisco kicked at a littered soda can. “Tell them I didn’t.”

“I tried! They won’t believe me!”

“Then ditch them. It’s not that hard.”

She turned to him sympathetically, kissing him one last time.

“I can’t, Cisco. They’re my friends. I like them.” She untangled their fingers.

“No, you don’t.”

“I do,” she insisted. “Stop saying things as if you’re me. I’m me. If they’re my friends then I’m not lying and you have to understand that.”

Cisco felt properly chastened. He took a step back, quiet. “Okay.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

Lisa and Lexi took to each of Caitlin’s sides, linking their arms together. Only Lisa looked back.

~.~

“Where were you? You dipped lunch. Iris said you’d be there.”

It was the second to last period of the day, and it just had to be gym, didn’t it?

Cisco ducked at the incoming fire of dodgeballs. “Yeah, sorry. Caitlin wanted to eat outside.”

A ball rolled to a stop beside him. He picked it up and chucked it, barely getting it past the midline.

The one class he and Barry weren’t good at. So what.

“You mean she didn’t want to eat with me.”

Cisco stopped, looking around. His team was going to lose no matter what.

“I think she’s just really embarrassed. Give her some time.”

“Time?” Barry exclaimed, nearly getting hit in the face. “It’s been almost half a year! I miss her so bad. She’s in my geography class and she sat next to Bad Luck Becky instead of me.”

“Dude, watch out!”

“Huh?” Barry spun around in the wrong direction, and Cisco cringed as Barry got hit in the back by Woodworth, officially out.

Cisco followed him to the bench, not caring to even pretend he was playing anymore.

“What’s her deal?”

Cisco wrung his hands. “I don’t know. Her dad, I think. It shook her hard, and we weren’t there for her.”

Barry’s fingers were calming on his shoulder, unlike Dante’s, and different from Armando’s.

“Don’t beat yourself up about that. She pushed us away.”

It was easy for Barry to say that. Barry the best friend, their happy third wheel. It wasn’t the same for Cisco. Cisco, who had offered to pick Caitlin up when she fell down the slide in the first grade, who she had won the regional science fair with in grade 3, who she first told when they were ten that her dad was sick, really sick, and I really need a hug.

Barry was always there and supportive and the best friend, but he had Iris. Before him came Cisco and Caitlin. They were a duo, a package deal, each other’s forever.

Even if she pushed him away, even if she hurt him. She never meant to, just as hurt and twice as lonely.

“She needed me and I wasn’t there until it was too late. Now she doesn’t know who to trust.”

Barry reached for his water bottle, taking a long sip.

“So she trusts LaRoche? She knows what she did to you, doesn’t she?”

It was humiliating just thinking about it.

Cisco shook his head. “She only knows that I tutored her for the SATs.”

Three thumps on the back was what it took for Barry to stop coughing, spluttering water everywhere.

“You need to tell Caitlin. ”

“No. Drop it. And don’t tell Iris either.”

“But—”

Coach Adam’s bullhorn blew sharply, interrupting them both.

“— Allen! Back on the court! Don’t make me give you another C!”

~.~

The last class of the day was math with Professor Stein. Cisco had it with Caitlin, and they sat in the front row, scribbling notes furiously to keep up with their teacher’s enthusiastic ramblings. When the final bell rang, Professor Stein called them both to stay behind.

“I’ve got something for my 4.0 lovebirds.”

He leaned behind his desk for two thick envelopes and deposited one in each one's hands.

Caitlin tore hers open quickly, curiosity getting to the best of her. A stack of viewbooks from prestigious schools were freshly pressed, smelling like new paper.

“Straight from the guidance counsellor's office. They’re not yet out on rotation, you see, but I figured my overachieving students wanted a first peak.”

“Oh wow,” Caitlin replied, already looking into the Harvard one. “These have the updated statistics.”

“Of course, my dear.”

Cisco leafed through the schools in his selection, pausing at MIT, eyes lingering on rolling green hills of its campus.

Professor Stein pointed at Cisco. “And how was your internship at Star Labs?”

“The greatest. They want me to continue twice after school.”

“Really now? That’s quite remarkable.”

“Isn’t it?” Caitlin smiled, proud of him. Cisco blushed. “I told him so.”

There was a knock at the door, and Shawna appeared. “Caitlin we need you right now. It’s an emergency.”

Caitlin looked to Cisco.

“I thought I was driving you home. We could look at these together.”

“We really need you, Caity. Becky’s crying. I can drive you home.”

“Tomorrow,” Caitlin promised, squeezing his shoulder, then thanked Professor Stein again for the viewbooks.

Cisco tugged on her blazer for a goodbye kiss, reluctant to let her go. She leaned in, her fingers delicate on his face, smiling against his lips.

Shawna stomped a little, rolling her eyes, “Can we go?”

“One minute,” Caitlin said, looking into his eyes. “We’ll go over our favourite schools tomorrow?”

He raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards. “It’s a date.”

She grabbed her bag and the envelope, then followed Shawna out the door.

Cisco watched Caitlin scurry after Shawna, who was stomping away in her spiked combat boots.

“I’m glad that whatever squabble you two had seems to be put behind you.”

Cisco turned to their teacher, unashamed that he witnessed him smitten.

“Me too.”

Professor Stein had always been perceptive and easily approachable. Cisco had gone to him in times of trouble in the past four years plenty.

Cisco sat on a desk as Professor Stein tidied up, reflecting. “Sir, how do you help someone through grief?”

His teacher took off his glasses, cleaning them with the edge of his shirt before he responded. “This is about the passing of Dr. Snow?”

Everyone knew. He supposed they had to, not only because Caitlin’s dad had been an active donor and contributor to the restructuring of Central City High’s science stream, but because Cisco guessed it was required for her teachers to take special attention.

“She’s just not the same.”

“She won’t be,” he advised, firm yet gentle. “She lost one of the most important figures in her life.”

The only figure, Cisco thought bitterly, thinking about Dr. T’s suspicious absence in Caitlin’s life. It always made him scratch his head, how two people who lived in the same house could avoid and ignore each other for so long.

If Cisco could avoid Dante, he would.

Maybe it was a matter of the size of the house.

“I want to be there for her, but sometimes I feel like she’s pushing me away. Do I give her that space? Should I be persistent? Love is hard,” Cisco groaned after his monologue, flopping against the row of desks as if he were in a therapist’s office, not his math class. His teacher chuckled at him.

“Ah, but is your affection for Miss Snow difficult to muster? It takes effort for you to demonstrate your care?”

“No,” Cisco protested. “No, that’s easy.”

Professor Stein tapped on his shoes, asking him to get them off the desks.

Cisco's legs swung over the side obediently, and he sat back up.

Professor Stein tilted his head, and Cisco was alarmed to realize how his favourite teacher’s hair was beginning to grey.

Maybe that’s what made him stand out. After teaching as a professor and publishing his books, he came back to a high school to teach kids because he cared about them. Cisco didn't think he could do that. Lily was really lucky to have him as a dad.

“I know you love her Mr. Ramon. Patience is virtue. You’re astute for a young man of your age. Show her that love the best you can.”

That sounded about right.

“Yessir.”

“Now go home, enjoy those viewbooks.”

Cisco tucked the envelope under his arm, and took his advice.

~.~

Cisco was leafing through the glossy pages of Duke’s viewbook at the kitchen table, trying to concentrate through the constant keyboard banging leaking through the adjacent wall. He wasn’t allowed to ask Dante to be quiet, not even when he had to study and it was one of his pet peeves.

Don’t disturb him, Mama would always say, but his keyboard had an ear jack? Cisco had bought Dante a good quality headset a year and a half ago, thinking it would be a great gift to them both.

Dante didn’t use them, Cisco bet the wrapping was still on the box, buried somewhere in their closet considering he’s never seen them and it’s not like their room was very big. So who was the one really being unnecessarily disturbed?

How their neighbours haven't come pounding on their front door yet begging for silence was a mystery to him.

He was just getting into the gritty details of the application requirements when Rosita peered up at him on her tiptoes. Her ten little fingers gripped the table, eyes barely making it past the edge as she pushed herself up to see what Cisco was looking at.

“What are you doing?”

“Leyendo,” he said absentmindedly, showing her the bright graphs. She didn’t reply, and he looked down, how she had zero reaction, then forgot she was still fuzzy on verbs. Forgot that she couldn’t even read yet.

“Reading,” he translated. “For college. See? This is in North Carolina.”

“You’re leaving?” her voice wobbles, thick with hurt. “Like ‘Mando?”

Armando’s been gone at Cleveland State for two years, majoring in business. Cisco’s surprised sometimes that Ro even remembers their oldest brother.

“Not right away. But next year, yeah.”

Cisco didn’t see the big deal. He felt Rosita was pretty lucky, getting the apartment practically to herself. Cisco would have loved to be left alone growing up, not constantly stuck rubbing shoulders with the six people crammed into their three bedroom apartment with nowhere to breathe. But Caitlin and Barry both said growing up as an only child was lonely, wishing for siblings. Cisco wouldn’t know.

“Why?”

“Because I want to go to school, like the one you’re going to start tomorrow,” he explained. He glanced down at the entrance requirements and chuckled at his own analogy. “Except this isn’t kindergarten.”

There was just enough room for Rosita to squeeze onto his seat. He patted the space, and she climbed up with a little "oof” until their thighs were pressed together.

He read to her what was on the page just to keep her busy. It was the pictures she was interested in anyways.

“Where’s Mama?” he asked after a while. They had moved on from Duke to Stanford. Their dad still wasn’t home from work either, but he wouldn’t be, he usually wasn’t at this time.

Rosita shrugged her shoulders and Cisco rolled his eyes at himself, wondering why he expected the five year old of the house to have all the answers.

He slid off the chair, noticing the way she was droopy, her messy black curly hair spilling against the table as she leaned her head against it.

“Did you have a snack?”

She rolled her head from side to side with a whine. Cisco took that for a no.

He pulled out a fruit roll-up from the kitchen, ignoring Caitlin’s voice in the back of his head warning about high fructose.

After seeing to it that she’s good with opening the wrapper, Cisco knocked loudly on the doorframe of his and Dante’s room. “Where’s Mama?”

Dante kept playing, ignoring him. Cisco marched right over to the outlet and unplugged the keyboard.

“Hey!”

“Yo Beethoven. Were you supposed to be taking care of Rosita? Because I came home to her climbing the curtains, Dante.”

His brother waved him off, “She’s fine.”

“She was hungry.”

Dante glanced up at the clock on the wall.

“Mama went grocery shopping. We’re going to have dinner soon anyways.”

“Not for another few hours, I wasn’t supposed to be home this early. You can’t leave her alone like that she’s too young, and Mama expects us watch her!”

Dante banged his fist against the quiet keys, and Cisco had to keep a straight face at how that looked. “Stop fucking lecturing me, I’m older than you!”

“By a year,” Cisco scoffed. “Don’t go on about being 18 if you won’t even act like an adult.”

“Yeah, because you want to be an adult so bad, Cisco, don’t you? It’s just a number it doesn’t make you older.”

Not for the first time, Cisco found himself missing Armando. Things were easier with Dante when he was around, how he was practical like Dante yet level-minded like himself.

The door slammed loud behind him, frustrated. Dante was Dante. What was he to do? At least he got his car.

Cisco took his stack of books to the living room, wiping off Rosita’s sticky fingerprints from off the Stanford cover and got really interested in Harvard’s crimson booklet.

By dinner, he was excited, sprouting out campus facts as his dad asked to pass the bowl of vegetables.

Rosita kicked her legs in her seat beside him, happily munching away on the roast beef.

“Dude, just. Shut up,” Dante said with his mouth full after Cisco went on a, self-admitting, spiel about Stanford’s aeronautics engineering program.

Cisco narrowed his eyes, defending himself. “I have to apply by November for early admissions. That's two months away. We're talking about my future here.”

His mom and dad shared a look, one Cisco couldn’t decipher. He put his fork down, sensing dread.

“What? I told you, my SAT scores are really high. Maybe not Harvard okay, but MIT, UPenn, I think I have a real shot.”

It went quiet, it was uncomfortable and Cisco felt nervous, like he was the butt of a big joke.

“What?”

“Get that Ivy League crap out of your head, we can’t afford it.”

His mother gasped, hitting his father’s arm.

Cisco looked to Dante, who had his glass paused halfway to his lips.

“What Papa means is we know you talk big plans with tu novia, but where will the money for that come from?”

The words were faint, Cisco feeling a rush in his ears as his mind began to race, trying to compute. "Mama, I don't understand.”

“Those schools sound very expensive, Cisco.”

This couldn’t be happening, he pushed his plate away, sick to his stomach. “Two years ago you said you had money put away for me.”

“That was before Dante changed his mind about CCU music. And it was never going to be enough for what you’re talking about. We were already tight with Armando’s tuition.”

Dante coughed, nearly choking on the food, startled. “Mama,” he gaped, after a giant swallow of water. “¿Su dinero?”

“He is older, Cisco,” his dad replied, and it was condescending, felt cold like ice down Cisco’s back. “If you want a fancy college you’ll need a job, maybe two. You might have good grades for CC High, but for a full scholarship where everyone is smart? Be realistic, Mijo.”

Cisco’s eyes were stinging, blurring as the weight of their words washed over him, and he was so unprepared, so unbalanced to hear that news, it knocked him over, and now he felt like was going to drown.

"You don't think I'm good enough?"

"That's not what we're saying," his mother corrected, "But we do believe your aspirations are out of tune."

Out of tune. Giving all his college money away to his ungrateful brother, permitting him to Netflix in his room under the guise of studying composition, was out of tune.

He stood up abruptly, not able to stomach any more.

“You used my money on Dante? Dante? Who doesn’t even show up for school? Have I not been clear since I was twelve how much I wanted this?”

Rosita burst into tears at the volume of his voice, covering her ears. His mother ran to Rosita.

It wasn’t Rosita’s fault. It wasn’t. She was just a child. She was little, but somehow the way his mother ran to her and picked her up adoringly, soothing her whimpering was the last straw, twisting something in Cisco until it bent and snapped.

“You care for everyone in this house but me!”

“Francisco.”

“It’s true!” he cried, and maybe it wasn't, but his world was imploding, and this wasn't his fault, Cisco didn't do anything to deserve this.

He swiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his jean jacket, furious, “You never listen, you never care, you don’t know anything about what I want or am going through, even when I say it. It’s all about Dante or Rosita. You didn’t even care that I was chosen for Star Labs’ internship, how big of an accomplishment that was for me. Or that Caitlin’s papa died!”

“You were at Star Labs?” his father questioned, sliding his glasses up his nose. “Dante did you know this?”

His mother tore her gaze from his sister, stunned. “Dr. Snow?”

Even his parents were out of tune with each other. Out of tune, they said about him going to an Ivy, about becoming an engineer, he still processing it, outraged. Cisco wanted to throw up.

Dante spoke up. “Papa of course I knew he wouldn’t shut up about it. He was gone every day.”

Dante was defending him for once, probably guilty, and he should be, Cisco thought, but that wasn't enough.

He was on a roll, unable to stop yelling, “Armando got everything he wanted! Dante gets anything he asks for, no questions! A motorcycle, he goes and you're all oh, sure Dante, here you go, only pay half. Then he says, Haha surprise, I want to go to college after all, and so you go sure, let us deplete our youngest son's college funds!"

Even Rosita quieted, staring at Cisco.

"What?" she said, voice full of innocence.

His face crumpled, but he refused to break in front of them. "I worked so damn hard, and I get nothing?”

“It is not nothing,” his father scolded in Spanish. “CCU is a fine school, Francisco. You are just prejudiced. Caitlin is a fine girl, but her privilege has gone to your head.”

“That’s not true,” Cisco snapped back, switching languages smoothly. “This has nothing to do with Caitlin. Mama, tell him.”

She lowered her gaze, fussing again with Rosita’s plate, without replying.

His parents’ quietness was all the confirmation Cisco needed. A dark chuckle, more like a huff from a pushed out exhale escaped him, and he shook his head.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath, looking at the faces of his family. He didn’t even want to be here anymore.

“Well, since I got your attention,” he spat, “I was offered a placement at Star Labs for the Fall for after school. I need a parent to sign the contract with me.”

“¿Se paga?” Is it paid? Mama said.

After all that.

Cisco choked on his answer, already imagining what they were going to say. “No.”

“You’ll have to choose then, what you want more.”

Was this what it felt like? To see his entire future hanging by a thin, loose, unravelling thread? Cisco shouldn’t have to choose. Star Labs was his ticket out of here. Out of this mess, the one outstanding point on his application which would give him those scholarships, that admission.

But his parents didn't understand, and they won't.

And that's what was worse. It was not the lack of money, or that they gave it to Dante (even though that cut deep, and Cisco wasn't quite sure it was something he could ever forgive). He knew that they weren't wealthy, that they were four kids and still not even in a house. But they made it work for their children, set up this illusion, this fake fantasy land Cisco had been living in for years and watched him entangle himself deeply there, plant roots in it, and still never bothered to come clean and correct him.

They watched him grow up and fall in love with math and science--and Caitlin, and get his glowing letters from his teachers and still think the idea of him going away to one of the country's best schools was silly. Childish, like one of Rosita's make believe stories.

How could they see him, see what he's willing to sacrifice, how hard he'll work, has worked, and still be so confident that Cisco was wasting his time?

“I’m going to sleepover at Barry’s,” Cisco announced, too upset to look them in the eye. Too angry to wait and listen to their reply. To be given permission to leave.

They were way past granting him permission to do things anymore, in his books.

Dante tried to pull him back when he passed by, uttered his name, but Cisco pushed, shoving his brother out of his path with a hard glare, poisoned with fiery pain, daring him to say another word.

He didn't wait for the elevator of the building to make it to their floor, just ran down the spiralling steps, all at once, and fled.

~.~

Cisco called Caitlin twice but it went to voicemail. He banged his head against the steering wheel in the humid, sticky old car with the rusted paint and broken AC, keys still in the engine, motor running, stalled in the apartment parking lot, and cried loud ugly sobs.

~.~

Dr. Allen didn’t question why he had to double his pancake recipe in the morning, just ruffled Cisco’s hair and called him and Barry sluggers, and for that Cisco was grateful.

Cisco parted ways with Barry on the Allen's front steps, after he got pulled in for a hug.

"We'll look at options, okay? Jobs and stuff." Barry cracked a smile. "Maybe we can wait tables together."

"You'd do that for me?" Cisco, asked, pleasantly surprised.

Barry nodded. "I could use some extra cash, to take Iris out and stuff. You want to walk to her house with me?"

Cisco nodded to the Toyota. "Nah, I told Caitlin I'd pick her up this year now that I have the car. I'll see you in school."

~.~

Cisco sat in his driver's seat, tapping his fingers against the dashboard, still dreary, exhausted, and weighed down, but, hopeful to see the one person who would be sure to make him feel better.

Minutes clocked by and his hope turned to worry, and he wrestled with the idea of unbuckling his seatbelt to see what was wrong.

Because something was wrong. Caitlin was late. And she's never been late in all the years that he knew her.

She was late and so he was just as relieved as surprised when Dr. T knocked on his window, after walking briskly down her house's long driveway.

He rolled it down, frowning. “Is Caitlin sick?”

“She already left with her driver,” she informed. “She made it clear that she didn’t want to see you.”

It was like being dunked in cold water.

“What?”

“Get to school, Francisco.”

Cisco grabbed his phone in the glove compartment, about to call her, not above believing Carla Tannhauser pulling a fast one on him (she never did exactly like him, but this would've been cruel) when the text came through.

❤ Caitlin ❤ : We're breaking up.

#the flash #cisco x caitlin #killervibe #the flash fic #tkv fic #lux et veritas #thatkillervibe fic #ch 1

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blackbearmagic · 6 years

Text

NB Tag Meme

Considering myself tagged by @edderkopper

Rules: Tag all the nonbinary people you would like, and answer all the questions you feel comfortable answering! If you see this cross your dash and you haven’t been tagged, then by all means, participate anyways if you would like.

1. What is your gender? What language do you use to express your gender?

I’m bigender, and use she/her and he/him pronouns!

What I like to tell people when they ask how to refer to me is “You will never be wrong if you call me female”. I’m AFAB and didn’t realize I was nonbinary until I was an adult, so being called girl/woman/ma’am/her/sister/daughter has always been part of my identity! I’m just also very, very comfortable being referred to as “sir” or “him”.

Sometimes I lean more towards one binary gender or the other, but for the most part? I just feel like I’m simultaneously male and female. I guess one way to say it would be that most days I feel like I’m a Man, with the body of a Woman, and that that’s how it’s supposed to be. Like I’m a Man, just with a female name and medically female reproductive organs and secondary sexual characteristics and hormones, but that there’s nothing wrong with that arrangement. I’m Both, at the same time, and that’s how I’m meant to be for me.

Having watched many of my trans* and nb friends struggle with dysphoria, I feel so lucky that everything is so clear-cut and easy for me to accept.

2. How old were you when you first realized you weren’t cis?

Haha... 26. Specifically, Feb. 15, 2018.

The tag “Bear’s ongoing gender crisis” on my blog has part of the story, but for about a year prior to that revelation, I would periodically have these instances where I would be mistaken for male and I was Totally Okay with it. And the idea of being nb never occurred to me, so it would throw me into this panic of “but I’m cis??” for like three days and then I would forget about it. And then I really started thinking about it, and people were helping me, and then I just... the penny dropped, I guess.

3. In regards to the NB Presentation Scale, which do you feel describes you, if any?

Probably somewhere between a fox and a stag.

I definitely have powerful eyebrows.

4. In your regular presentation, what are some “staples” to your style?

Men’s jeans are my new favorite thing, paired with a tight tanktop and either a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up (if it’s cooler) or a sleeveless vest with hella pockets (if it’s warmer). Sometimes a bandana around my neck. Back when it was cold, I was never without one of my personally-knitted slouchy beanies.

Fun fact: Because of the way I dressed, a kid on a school trip once addressed me, persistently, as “Mrs. Lara Croft.” He even wrote on his exit survey that his favorite part of the trip was “playing group games with Mrs. Lara Croft”.

5. In regards to the enby “archetypes”, which describes you, if any?

Woodpecker, for sure!

6. Do you headcanon any characters as nonbinary? Talk about them!

Not really? I’m a boring person who almost never headcanons characters outside of their canon identities or sexualities. Not against it, just never really do it.

7. If you know of any characters that are canonically nonbinary: Do you like how they were portrayed? Were they relatable? How did it feel the first time you watched or read about a canon nonbinary character?

So this doesn’t have to do with any media characters, but rather a character from the series I’ve been writing on and off with @captainoftheseaqueen since, like, 2011.

The character’s name is Yinny--specifically, Yineput--Reid. Her older sister’s name is Chickenfeather. The story is set in the real world, where everything is the same except magic is a Thing--and everyone else in the story around them has perfectly normal names, like Erin, Killian, Riley, Farra... Mrs. Reid just wanted to give her girls names that stood out. She gave her daughters “normal” middle names (Melissa for Chick, Sarah for Yinny), so that they could go by those if they didn’t like their names as they grew up, but it wasn’t needed. Chick is Chick, and Yinny is Yinny.

Yinny was meant to be a loose self-insert character, as her older sister Chick (who was written first, and is 21 years older than her) was based heavily on my older sister, MC. As Yinny came to life, the way all OCs eventually do, I realized that her gender was... not quite clear-cut. She was definitely okay with being identified as and addressed as female, but she preferred to be somewhat ambiguous and androgynous. It was around this time that I was first learning about nonbinary gender identities, and I thought “oh, I guess Yinners is nb, cool”. I had even drafted in my head her whole coming-out conversation with Chick.

Five fucking years later, guess who turned out to be nb? Yup, the person who Yinny Reid was based off of.

The kicker?

In hindsight, I realize now that, just like Yinny, the first person I came out to about my nonbinary identity was my older sister, because just like Yinny, I felt that my sister would be the most attentive and receptive to what I had to say, and would let me explain myself fully before she commented. And the conversation MC and I had was... eerily similar to the one Chick and Yinny had had in my head years earlier.

tl;dr, I apparently self-fulfilling-prophecied myself with an OC who talks to roadkill

8. If you’ve changed your pronouns or name since coming out, why, and how did that process go? If you didn’t change your name or didn’t change your pronouns, how come?

I didn’t change my name, and I really don’t see myself ever doing so. My legal name, Suzanne, just... fits me. It fits me in a way that I don’t think any ever name could.

Of course, the downside is that there is no way to make “Suzanne” even remotely gender neutral as a name--in fact, you can only make it sound even more feminine. But I don’t mind. It’s a great name, and the rightest name I can think of for myself.

When I came out to my sister and she told me to keep her up to date on any name or pronoun changes, she said “just let me know if you would prefer I call you Zayne or something like that”, and I toyed with the idea for about two minutes, because Zayne sounds kinda like Zanne, before she said “but seriously, please don’t call yourself Zayne, you can do so much better, that’s a terrible fucking name”.

So I’ll just continue to be a man named Suzanne, I guess. I’m cool with that.

As far as pronouns go, I somewhat recently added “he/him” as pronouns in my about section, so that’s a thing. I once asked a group of friends if they could refer to me with he/him pronouns intentionally during one of our gatherings, and it was nice, but of course... you don’t often use third-person pronouns when talking about someone who’s right there, so it wasn’t a lot, haha.

There is, though, something deeply cleansing and affirming to me about the thought of someone saying “I was talking to Suzanne and he said...”

As I said above, people are not wrong if they refer to me with she/her or female terms, so like... I’m not too fussed about it.

Oddly enough, unlike seemingly a lot of nb people, I personally don’t like singular-they pronouns being used in reference to me. People referring to me as “they” usually gives me a deep, visceral feeling of wrongness that I can only assume is what being properly Misgendered feels like. She/her or he/him please!

Consider yourself tagged if you wanna spill your guts.

#the Bear roars

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fuck-customers · 6 years

Text

Few Months worth of BS

So a mix of be hardly getting on tumblr anymore and submissions being closed whenever I am on has caused a pileup of BS stories from both jobs, enjoy.

Note- Job 1 is gas station cashier, job 2 is Tiny SeaTzars

1. Job 1- it’s like 9am, i’m barely awake and this dude who looks old enough to be my dad comes in. He’s nice enough, pleasant guy, buys his stuff and leaves. Comes back in like 5 seconds later to ask if i’m married. I was 17 at the time so I said “Sir, i’m 17.” and he immediately backpedaled thank the heavens. Creepy enough, yeah? Nope! His first thought was to say “I’m so sorry, it’s just my wife recently passed and I’ve been looking.” To which my manager (my mom) pops around the corner and says “Well you’re looking in the wrong places sugar.” In a lovely tone that screamed “You’re 3 seconds from joining your wife”. He left redder than a tomato and that incident has become a running joke with everyone.

2. Job 1- Slow day so far, mostly just pissers. (peeps who use the bathroom and don’t buy anything) Dude comes in looking like hell. Fills his own cup up from our fountain and gets pissy when it rings up a whopping $2, says it’s a refill. I tell him we don’t have refill prices. So he goes and switches it out to one of our cups. Then he wants to pay with a card, gets even more pissy when I tell him there’s a $5 minimum on cards, says “that’s bullshit, since when?” Well ever since the card fees aren’t worth it on under $5 purchases, so always. Best part of that is we have LARGE signs on both sides of the door and ON THE FRONT of the fountain machine that say “Due to fees, there is a five dollar minimum purchase requirement on all cards, thank you for your cooperation!” He gets pissed beyond words, my manager tries getting him to calm down, he says “Not right now, you really don’t know the kind of day i’m having.” Things escalated quick and next thing I know he throws his full cup of soda on the floor and stormed out cussing up a storm. I ran after him and got his plate number as my manager called the cops but they couldn’t get anything from it so he’s never been found and ugh. Prick. Prick is all I can say.

3. Job 2- Someone actually called Tiny SeaTzars to ask for the hours of the CFK (backwards) next door. Just… really?

4. Job 2- We have a new dude, on like his second week. If a pizza is expired (been in the box for over an hour) we workers can eat it. Boy he was happy about that. Thing is, he’s almost always eating. Wasn’t working Friday but got told Saturday. It’s about 6pm, y'know, near peak rush hour when we can easily make a $2k hour, and he’s in the back leisurely eating pizza. Everyone else is busting their ass and he’s eating. Makeline dude had to leave his post to get sauce (because SOMEONE wasn’t at his post where he could be asked to get it for him so makeline doesn’t have to LEAVE THEIR POST IN THE MIDDLE OF A RUSH) and found him and chews him out, and thankfully he got a writeup for it. But just??? Bruh what level of stupidity/obliviousness do you gotta be on to see everyone rushing and running around you and think “Oh, time to eat some pizza.” ????

4. Job 1- Lady I don’t know comes up to the pump and sets of the bell that says someone’s trying to get gas. We have some regulars that we just release it and they’re trusted to come in and pay after, otherwise we’re prepay. However, I have never seen this chick before since I’ve worked here so not doing that. I tap her pump on my screen to shut it up and wait for her to come in. She does, all smiles, and says hi. I ask what I could help her with, she gets a confused look on her face and says “I need gas.” and I tell her we’re prepay. Bitch mode starts to wind up and she asks in a pissy voice “Really? Since when?” and I tell her “Since the station opened.” and then she says “Hmph, okay, I’ll talk to Sean (store owner) about that.” and leaves. Like, okay? We’re prepay, you’re not gonna change that by talking to the boss, who will tell you we are prepay. I don’t get people who think they can namedrop my boss to scare me??? Like “I know Sean.” Yeah, he runs a mechanic shop, half the county knows him, your point?? Best part is when they mispronounce his name or get it entirely wrong. “Yeah, me and Shane have been friends since we were kids.” Well good for you and Shane, but that ain’t helping you with SEAN.

5. Job 2- Lady calls in a 10 pizza order to be picked up the next day at 10am. We don’t open until 10:30. I try telling her and she get’s angry but tried meeting in the middle for 10:15. Talked to my managers and they said no way before 10:30. Tell her and she gets so pissed. “For such a big order you can’t get there 15 minutes early to open?” Okay first of all, do you really believe that we get here at 10:30 and open up? What the fuck are we going to sell?? We need to count down the registers, prep the toppings, make sheetouts and stock the hotboxes. We’re here at 6am or better just so we CAN open up at 10:30. We can’t just open the doors at 10:15 because if there’s more customers waiting around we’ll have to serve them when we’re NOT ready because we let you in, and then it snowballs into “well you were open this early yesterday/last week/blahblah” and then we get in trouble. In the end she cancelled her order and asked for corporates number.

6. Job 2- Sunday after-church rush. Coworker calls in to ask for when he works next. Manager flat out tells him to get up and come check for himself because we can’t stop and look for him right now and hangs up. Seriously dude, literally EVERYONE knows to take a picture of the schedule when it’s posted. You hang around for half an hour before you leave every day anyway so wtf is stopping you from being an adult and taking a picture of your hours?? He called back like three times over the next few hours and we finally slowed down and told him but my god how stubborn and lazy do you have to be.

7. Job 1- Dude and his friend come in, one goes the the bathroom, the other gets some candy (which is RIGHT on the other side of my counter) and then goes looking around the shelves for other stuff. Buddy comes back to pay for gas and other guy leaves. I tell bathroom boy to hold on and I do a quick survey of the shelves find nothing, then go out to their car and see candy snatcher reclined in the seat eating the Reese’s he just took. I tapped on the window and the dude about jumped a foot in the air. I said “So, do you wanna pay for that or should I just go on and call the cops on you for shoplifting?” and luckily the dude doesn’t try fighting it and comes back in and tells his friend to pay for it. Friend is notably pissed and just glares at him. Tells me to just put whatever change is left after the candy in gas and heads out. Sincerely hope his friend at least thunked him in the back of the head for trying, and failing, at being a petty candy thief.

8. Job 2- Ever since I’ve gotten glasses my eyes have been bloodshot almost a constant 24/7. Eyedrops clear it up for maybe an hour or two. The first few days the “are you high” question and jokes were kinda funny and amusing, but it’s been two months and it’s still going on. I would just stop wearing my glasses but I need them to legally drive (astigmatism in both eyes) so ugh.

9. Job 1- Once again, the station is prepay. It’s written on every pump in very large letters above every handle. Please tell me why these 5 asian guys (I think relevant? They didn’t seem to understand me well so maybe language block?) could not get it through their heads that they have to pay before they get their gas. They come in saying the pump isn’t working, I say we’re prepay, you have to pay before you get it. One of them goes to hand me his card and I ask how much in gas he’d like. Confusion. Ended up having to explain what prepay was (felt like a tool because of it) and they ended up leaving saying “Okay, we go to station down the street.” And I just.. Okay? Every station in the county is prepay but okay, you do you. Honestly this is more of a “I hope I didn’t offend them” than a fuck them thing. Felt bad I couldn’t help them.

10. Job 2- We ran out of green peppers, so one of our supremes is off the menu unless they’re fine with no peppers. Dude calls and wants the pepper supreme. I tell him we’re out of green pepper and he goes into upset toddler mode.

Him: “Out of peppers, are you kidding me? How does that even happen?!”

Me: “Well, it’s kinda a supply and demand thing, Sir. If it’s a popular topping we’ll run out of it quick.”

H: “How can you run out of peppers it’s a pizza store you’d think you’d be able to tell when to order more of a topping!!”

And we don’t order it ourselves? We take count and tell our District Manager that we need things and he’s supposed to order them for us? (Dumb system I know but it’s what’s in place)

In the end he asked for a manager and just hung up when he said the same thing. Found out he left a review on google about us. “Horribly unprepaired for the simplest of orders.” okay buddy, take the one star review and shove it up your ass.

11. Job 2- This one girl I go to school with got hired on. She seemed nice enough, we never talked before but apparently she knew me. She’s a decent worker (few nit-picky things, nothing bad) but… She makes me want to hit her sometimes. I get it, you’re trying to be funny/bubbly/joking/whatever, but I don’t know you well enough for you to be making jokes off of my appearance? I’m aware I that have a slightly larger than average head, I don’t like attention being drawn to it, especially randomly? We’re stretching dough and she just randomly says “You got a big ass head you know that? A big ass head.” and laughs. Like… Thanks, it’s not like that was a point of ridicule in the past or anything. And then while we’re washing dishes she gets mad and threatens to beat me for, wait for it, splashing her with water.

At the sink.

While doing dishes.

And she’s too extra with her reactions. Little extra is funny, I admit, but she is over the top. I was washing deep dish pans and a flake of bread flew off and hit her with some water. She spat and did that little “pthptpthpthtpht” thing for almost an entire minute, then went on to say “We gonna throw hands if you do that again” I just… Kindly shut the fuck up and let me to dishes by myself if you’re gonna be such an extra [word that almost got this post deleted] like that okay? Just kindly fuck off.

I have plenty more but I feel like this post is too long as is. Enjoy my suffering and expect more to come.

#submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #fuck coworkers #submission

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richietozierluv · 6 years

Text

it was final - (richie tozier) part 3 of 5

part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Reader / Eddie x Reader? kinda

Summary: Apparently, after everything you and your friends had been through, it wasn’t enough. Now you were alone in Derry, and the very thing you thought had an ending, was coming back.

Author’s Note: this is kinda in eddie’s pov but i thought that would help considering richie and the reader aren’t in the same place also i hope someone out there is proud because i persevered even with writer’s block

Word Count: 1,967

Warnings: Swearing

When you had first become friends with Eddie, you would spend every waking moment with him. Even on a far too rainy day, you’d talk to him for hours on the home phone, much to the displeasure of both of your mothers (and Richie).

“Eddie dear, do you know how many germs there are on a telephone? Eddie? There’s more germs than on the seat of a toilet!”

“Y/n, you’re racking up the phone bill! Can’t you stop talking to your friends for one minute?”

In fact, he had been the one to introduce the idea of sneaking into your bedroom, and was the main reason you were terrified of the dark. On one particularly boring Thursday when the phone lines had been cut due to a storm, the tapping on your window had you almost pissing your pants. You thought it was the neighbour’s cat again, trying to paw at a moth, but you became doubly frightened when the curtains opened to show a very much human face rather than a cat’s.

“Eds, what the hell are you doing? My mom is literally in the other room,” you whispered, as you slid open the window to invite him in. If anyone else had called him ‘Eds’ he’d be scowling and throwing fake punches, although whenever you did, his stomach felt sick, but in a good way. The only downside to this, was that Richie had caught on too, and had tried sneaking in a few ‘Eds’ here and there himself. He was met with a, “fuck you Trashmouth,” or the occasional middle finger.

You knew deep down, that Eddie would die for you if he really, really, had to. So it was only by instinct that you had called him first after seeing the clown.

“Y/n? Y-you thuh-thuh-thuh-there?” Bill called, after hearing the phone supposedly fall from your grasp. You kept your eyes on the person or… thing standing outside and fumbled hastily to pick up the phone.

“Uh- yeah sorry Bill, I- I think I have to go, I was supposed to do some ch-ch-chores after school-“

“Y/n, is ev- is everyth-thing oh-okay?”

“Huh? Yeah of course don’t worry,”

“I-I mean, I know tha-that yuh-you and R-Richie had b-broken up, b-but,”

“Yeah Bill that sounds great, I’ll call you soon, okay?” you hung up the phone, still locking eyes with who- or what you had believed to be dead. It had been almost six months since you last saw IT, and that whole ritual had seemed so final, so either you were going crazy, or you were staring death quite literally in the face.

You took a step forward, then looked around to make sure there was nothing behind you, but as you looked back outside the kitchen window, IT was gone. In the few moments it had taken you to bite down your scream, and feel your heart pumping again, you had subconsciously dialled the number for Eddie’s new phone. You hadn’t spoken to him since he’d left, and when his father had passed the phone to him, you almost jumped at the sound of his voice.

“Hello-“

“Jesus please us, Eds! Your voice! Have you started doing impressions now or have your balls finally dropped?” just hearing him laugh in reply was enough to make you forget about your current situation. But not totally enough.

“The first thing you say to me in almost five months offends me, you’re unbelievable.” There was a soft silence that followed, comfortable, as if you both hadn’t gone through hell and back. “Hey, I really missed you,”

And then you were crying. Dear god why am I crying? “I miss you too Eds, you have no idea what it’s been like since-“

“No yeah I know, do you need to catch me up on anything other than Romeo and Juliet’s breakup? Have any of you died yet?”

“Oh fuck Eds, haven’t you heard? Romeo’s skipped town, and apparently Juliet’s gone insane, seeing clowns and shit-“

“What?”

“Richie’s moved-“

“No, I know that. What was that about ‘seeing clowns and shit’?” you could hear the concern in his voice, it was even more prominent as you heard him take a pump from his puffer.

“Oh yeah- that’s what I was calling you about, I was on the phone to Bill, and I just turn around and I see fucking IT outside my window,” now you were twirling the phone cord as if you were gossiping about boys, and makeup, and what Tiffany was wearing last Tuesday; and not discussing the very thing that had almost killed you and your friends numerous times.

“Okay, have you called Richie? He’s moved to this town like an hour from you- I wasn’t supposed to saying anything but-“

“I’m not calling him.”

“What? But he could just ask his parents-“

“Eddie, I don’t wanna get into it. I called you, now what do I do?”

“I dunno, I’m not exactly Big Bill intuitive,”

“If you throw around the word ‘intuitive’ at our age, I’d think you’re pretty close to ‘Big Bill intuitive’. You got us out of that place without a map Eds, just… tell me if I need to… just tell me what to do. I trust you.”

“You have to tell him that you like him!” Eddie’s heart hurt as he said this, but he saw the way Richie looked at you, and as your best friend, it was Eddie’s job to pressure you into doing things you didn’t think you were ready for. “If you don’t do it, I will,” he made a gesture of cupping his hands over his mouth to call Richie over, and laughed as you basically tackled him to the ground.

“I swear to God, Eddie Kaspbrak, you will do no such thing, or I’ll be shoving that middle finger you like so much up-“

“Woah, okay, okay!” he blushed, noticing how close you were, and how you were basically sitting on him. “My mom wouldn’t be so happy with that idea, she’d be disinfecting me for weeks,” and tried to cover his red cheeks with a mock look of horror.

“Eds, what if he doesn’t even like me back?” you sat yourself up, and looked at Richie doing somersaults in the water. You giggled as he came up for air, his hair plastered to his face and his glasses.

“Are you fucking kidding me Y/n?” now he sat up, looking at you in disbelief, “how could anyone not like you?”

“Well for starters-“

“Okay shut up before I do something that not even you would be proud of,” his blush returned at having made you laugh, “but- okay he made us swear not to tell you-“

“Tell me what?”

“Well… everything? He can’t stop talking about you, I’m surprised you haven’t even noticed the flirting. You’ve known him longer than any of us!”

“Oh please, Eds, he talks to me the same way you do,” Ouch. Eddie could feel the butterflies in his stomach attacking each other, a mixture of sadness and guilt of not having made his feelings more obvious to you before it was too late.

The second you had hung up the phone, Eddie’s fingers flipped through the yellow legal pad on the kitchen counter, looking for an answer. He found Bill, which was just as good. Eddie had reassured you that you probably hadn’t seen anything, reminded you what you had all gone through to kill IT.

“Hello, Zack Denbrough speaking,”

“Hi sir, this is Eddie Kaspbrak, I need to-“

“Bill’s already been on the phone today, he’s eating dinner,”

“Please sir, this is important-“

“Honey, food’s getting cold!” his wife called from the dining room.

“But Mr Denbrough,” Eddie couldn’t so much as fit in another word when he heard the phone line ‘beep’ in showing that adults really do not care about anything. He groaned, calling the others one by one but being turned down by mothers and fathers alike. Mike’s at the movies, oh she’s doing her homework, Stan can’t come to the phone right now. Eddie hesitated before calling the last person on the list. He was sure that he’d be willing to help, but unsure that you would want it.

He sighed with relief as he heard Maggie Tozier call her son to the phone.

“Hey Eds, long time no see, seenyor,”

“Just because I am physically unable to punch you, doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it Tozier,” there was an unspoken tension between the two boys. Whether it was the oncoming fact that you were in danger, or just plain missing each other, they were unable to tell. Both feelings made them sick, as there seemed there was no way to fix any of it.

“If you’re calling about what I did to Y/n-“

“What did you do to her? She called me and – no, it’s not about that,” Eddie could hear Richie’s intake of breath, as if he had just breached out of water for the first time in ten minutes. Or as if he were in the middle of sobbing.

“Eddie, I don’t know how to help her, I did everything I could to make sure she wouldn’t get the fucking barrel,”

“The barrel?”

“Of the gun! Could you not feel it? There was nothing final about what happened when we thought we killed IT. Don’t you think there’d be some sort of explosion, or I dunno, something big?”

“Rich-“

“It’s like Bill said, Derry is IT, and IT is Derry. And Derry, in case you hadn’t noticed, is perfectly fine, which is not perfectly fine-“

“What the hell are you talking about? Derry isn’t a thing, we can’t kill Derry,”

“If we don’t find a way Eddie, Derry’s going to kill Y/n.”

As easy as it was to get out of Derry, no one had given it a thought. It was as if by some other force, the town needed its people, as if it survived off of them. But by the end of 1985, there was a brief period in which that thought had crossed everybody’s mind, like they had woken up from a coma and finally realised how shitty of a town Derry was. Sure, it had its charm, with the town library, and the enormous Paul Bunyan statue, but it wasn’t until now people begun to notice the smell. You couldn’t escape the smell of the sewer. If it weren’t coming from the drains or gutters, the Kenduskeag stream would happily supply its aroma of runoff grey-water. Beverly Marsh was the first of many to leave, and perhaps her leaving had been the one to wake up everybody else. Or maybe it had something to do with the eight kids that had gone into the sewers without much of a notice.

But now the situation had changed, and those very kids that had started the farewell party, wanted to come back. And as hard as the task seemed, to convince their parents to go back to Derry, Bev, Eddie, Bill, and Richie, were already on their way.

You sat on the edge of the sidewalk in front of your house with a cigarette gripped between your teeth, daring Mr Arnold to yell at you to put it out. But despite the exaggerated drags and coughs, he hadn’t even given you a glance, as if you weren’t there at all. You stepped on the cigarette to put it out as you stood up, and as you turned to say, “It was fun hanging out with you, sir!” your feet had hit the curb and sent you falling backwards onto your ass. Mr Arnold seemed to be hanging from his porch light, yet there was no rope.

He looked as if he were floating.

AN: i kept on rewriting the last few hundred words over and over again but i finally! came up with something im somewhat happy with, and i hope you guys are too!!!!

tagged: @riverdalerebel @johnsonxstilinski @littlepaperaeroplanes @tn22220-blog

#richie tozier #richie tozier imagine #richie tozier x reader #richietozierluv #it cast #it cast imagine #it movie #finn wolfhard #finn wolfhard imagine #finn wolfhard x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things cast imagine #mike wheeler #mike wheeler imagine #mike wheeler x reader #it was final

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