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moonmothcomic · 8 months
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part one! this is a revamped version of a comic i did back in 2020, i finally have an ending in mind so i wanted to restart and really knock your socks off :) now with sideblog for easy access! i will be aiming for one update a month, see you next time!
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jojolandsost · 1 year
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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 3 months
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Hi, gosh, I love your blog! Thank you for all the information you share, your work really is invaluable and honestly your posts are just a joy to read.
I have a question about Chapter 580 and it’s something I’ve wondered for a long time. In the official English translation, Lucky Roux says to Shanks, “Don’t you want to see [Luffy]?” and Shanks replies, “I wish I could…but to see him now…would violate our agreement. Right, Luffy?”
I was always struck by the use of ‘violate’ and ‘agreement’ here. ‘Violate’ is such a harsh word, with the same root as ‘violence’, and while ‘agreement’ is a neutral word, it strikes me as so cold and sterile to use to reference the moment that lays the foundation for the grandness and romance of the story—and a moment full of so much emotion. I’ve wondered too about using the word ‘agreement’ there as opposed to ‘promise’—which is the word Shanks used in Chapter 1, and the word Luffy always uses to describe the sentiment between him and Shanks (at least in all the English translations I’ve seen).
How does the English translation compare with the original text? I’ve also read some of your previous posts about Shanks and I see you’ve noted that he speaks casually. How does this moment compare with how he usually speaks?
Thank you again! 🫶
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yeah, i'd say that's technically not incorrect but also not how i would translate it. the word used here is 約束/yakusoku, which is indeed most often translated as 'promise' or 'vow'. it can mean agreement as well, but to me at least yakusoku invokes something less clinical and more emotional.
and then the word that's been translated as 'violate' in the official is just 違う/chigau, which means basically 'different/wrong.' so i personally would probably phrase it like "meeting now would go against/be counter to our promise."
oh, and i assume this isn't replicated in translation, but the font of shanks' dialogue in this scene is also the same as when he gives luffy the hat in chapter 1:
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gloomforrestrunes · 4 months
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Chapter 1, Page 43
prev // next // first
does this count as a meet-cute
thats the end of chapter 1 everybody!!! flowers and thorns will be taking a brief-ish hiatus before chapter 2 starts. i estimate that we'll return in mid to late february! im both dreading and looking forward to the next chapter <3 i'll see you then!
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untaemedqueen · 1 year
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A Lions Pride
Mafia Leader!Jimin x Wife!Reader
Genre: Dark Romance, Smut, Fluff, Angst
Series Warnings: Death (On Page), Blood (On Page), Excessive Cursing, Excessive Alcohol Intake, Smoking (Cigarettes and Cigars), MCD, Dark Romance, Dom!Jimin, Sub!Kitten, Guns, Knives, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Anti-Heroes
Chapter Warnings: Car Chase, Possessive!Jimin, Daddy!Kink, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Hair Leash, Fellatio, Deep Throating, Multiple Orgasms, Cream Pie
A/N: This is a Patreon EXCLUSIVE BOOK, only the first chapter will be posted to Tumblr~!
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Chapter 1.
Your body clock is not working properly. You should have already been up by now, waiting for the alarm to go off so you can get out of bed. But this morning, you're roused by the loud screeching of your alarm with a wince.
Tilting your body towards the noise, your hand raises only to slam down on the device with a sharp thud.
Your eyes open blearily only to take in the paintings you've acquired over your years of marriage.
"Easy, kitten," your husband grumbles, wrapping his arm around you and burying his face into your neck.
"I have to get up," you whisper, clearing your throat of sleep.
"No," Jimin breathes defiantly, curling his hand around your waist, "Stay. I'll get the cubs to school."
"It's Wednesday, it's your day to rest."
Jimin lifts his head lazily, one eye opening to take you in as the sun begins to rise and highlight your bedroom in beautiful colors.
"You're five months pregnant, you should rest."
"Don't tell me what to do," you whisper, booping his nose and throwing the covers off of your body.
Running a hand through his hair, he grabs your pillow as you rise only to pull it towards himself.
Even after all these years together, you're still the most beautiful woman your husband has ever had the pleasure of knowing. He is the luckiest son of a bitch and he'll be damned if you don't know it.
"Kitten, have I ever told you how hot you are?" 
You hum gently, feigning confusion. Standing tall, you stretch out your limbs which are achy and dull with pregnancy pains.
"Not enough," you chirp playfully, grabbing your robe.
"You're very hot, baby," your husband breathes into the pillow below his face.
"You're pretty hot, too, daddy," you quip, heading to the bathroom.
Your husband groans long and low, lifting his head as you shut the door. "Don't get me excited when you're leaving!"
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"Hawon," you breathe, blinking at your nine year old daughter as she steals one of Hana's pieces of toast.
"What? She's not gonna eat it," she mumbles, with a full mouth.
"What did we say about talking with your mouth full?" Jimin inquires, making himself known as he waltzes around the breakfast bar. 
He kisses your temple, grabbing his coffee cup. "Thank you, Chae."
The sweet maid simply nods, going back to cleaning the oven.
"Talking with your mouth full makes you choke to death," Minseok announces, looking up from his Nintendo Switch. 
"Who told you that?!" your husband cries, choking on his coffee.
"Uncle Yoongi!" Hana cheers, grabbing her orange juice.
You can only roll your eyes, nudging your husband with a scoff.
Raising children in a family of gun runners and murders isn't as easy as one might think.
"I'll talk to him," he promises, taking a sip of his coffee and sighing.
"Mom?" Hana asks, swinging her legs sweetly.
"Hmm," you hum, wiping Sejeong's messy mouth as he grabs handfuls of scrambled eggs.
"Why are you having a stinky boy and not a girl?" your youngest daughter breathes.
"Girls are stinky! Not us! You smell!" Minseok retorts, pointing his finger at his little sister.
"Do we point at people? Is that nice?" you ask your son as Jimin grabs his little hand. 
Your husband bites down on his index finger gingerly, narrowing his eyes at him.
"Girls are still stinky," Seok huffs, folding his arms.
Mornings are always filled with this sort of family banter and Jimin loves it, if he's being honest. There's something so satisfying about seeing his family grow and interact and love one another. For years he never expected to be able to have something like this and now the head Lion finally has it all.
Running his hand over your pregnant belly, he sets down his coffee.
"Daddy?" Hawon chirps, grabbing her glass of milk and looking up from her book. 
"Hmm, princess?" he breathes, looking over at her.
"Can I have twenty dollars?" 
"For what?" he asks, pushing some hair back behind her ear.
"There's this new book at the school fair today about the reference and identification of the most significant amphibians, reptiles and mammals. I'd like to read it."
You can only smirk at her wide eyes, how excited she gets about reading. You were never studious and neither was Jimin, so you constantly question where this big brained daughter came from late at night during your pillow talks.
"Nerd," Minseok breathes, burying his face back in his game.
"You're a nerd," Hawon mumbles, holding out her hand and smiling widely.
Jimin kisses the top of her head and opens up one of the multitude of hiding spots of money only to produce a twenty dollar bill for his daughter.
"Can I have twenty?" Hana beams, holding out her own small hand.
Your husband chuckles deeply, the sound soothing your soul. 
"What does my six year old girl need?" 
"...Ice cream?"
Snorting softly, you pass Sejeong his sippy cup as he wobbles pleasantly within his high chair.
"I'll buy you ice cream later, I promise," her father whispers, kissing her forehead.
Turning your head to the clock, you stand up straight. "Alright, let's go. School time."
"Uuuugh," Minseok groans, jumping off the bar stool and slinging his backpack over his shoulder.
"Hey, mister," Jimin breathes, putting a hand on his son's shoulder, "it's too early for an attitude. If the school calls me again today, I'm taking your Switch away. Understood?"
"Mkay," Seok murmurs, pouting at you.
"Come on," you breathe, handing the bib over to Jimin and kissing his temple.
"Be careful driving. Take care of my little man in there," he whispers, running a hand over your stomach, "I love you. Love you kids!"
Your children mumble their love as they leave your large penthouse apartment and you give him a quick kiss on the lips before following after them.
"Jeong, when you get older you're gonna be a good boy, right?" your husband asks your smallest baby, getting down to his height and sipping his coffee.
The baby sputters his tongue and lips almost as if answering the question perfectly and Chae laughs, grabbing some bowls off of the breakfast bar.
Jimin narrows his eyes at his son and pinches his chubby cheek sweetly.
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There's something about your days being so regimented that it brings you peace. Albeit, they can be a little boring but after your years of excitement -- boring is welcome.
You like hearing about Hawon's day and how she secretly whispers to you about a boy she likes in her class so Jimin doesn't hear. You like hearing about Minseok's adventures in pissing off Ms. Choi even though you'll have to chide him for it later. And you enjoy hearing about Hana's day as she tells you new words she learned and childish but fun science experiments.
But there are some days, like now, that the Vixen is pulled out of you by force.
Jimin wanted his kids to go to an esteemed, rich private school where a bunch of other mafia families drop their kids off for the day. He wants them to have a good education and understand that at the end of the day you need to work hard for your money like you both have.
After dropping them off, you round the corner to head to Hyunah's new restaurant when a brawl catches your eye.
Busan streets can be dangerous but they shouldn't be dangerous at eight o'clock in the morning. And you would have driven right by if a very, very familiar brand on some of the boy's necks weren't showing. 
Slowing the Escalade down, your hand makes a fist and you punch the glove box open wordlessly. Grabbing your gun, you aim it at the window as it slowly lowers.
"You fucking pussy! Don't you dare ever touch my girl, you understand me?!"
Oh good, they aren't fighting about guns.
Whistling sharply, you stop your car in front of the eight men.
They angle their heads low to look in and when the four Lions spot you, they stand up straighter.
One of them catches your eye immediately and you raise an eyebrow at him. 
"Who the fuck are you pointing a gun at, bitch? You b--" the man is cut off as the Lions tackle him to the ground.
"Oh," you breathe, looking down at your nails. 
Shutting off your car, you climb out with a sigh.
The streets are quiet this morning and you count your stars that no ordinary person is passing by this old run down street at the moment. They might see something unfortunate that could scar them for life. 
Rounding the car hood, you click your teeth softly. 
"My little Lions, it's too early for this. You're gonna make me late for brunch," you hiss, smacking the Lion you know the closest upside the head.
"Noona, I'm so sorry," he whines, rubbing the back of his head as he cringes.
"Hoonie," you sigh, twirling your gun around your finger.
You watch with bored eyes as the men continue to fight and when one of them looks over at you, Sanghoon shields your body with his own.
"Who are you imbeciles anyway?" you inquire, motioning your hand for Hoon to stop all this nonsense.
"They're under Oh Byung, they're Hyenas and one of them touched my fucking girl like she was a piece of meat!" one of your Lion's hisses, being tugged away from the fray.
You look over your boys with a sigh, they're beaten bloody with split lips and black eyes but the Hyenas look even worse and you can deal with that.
Holding your gun up, you tilt your head.
It's only when a police car passes by that the Hyenas know who they're dealing with. They begin to smile at your audaciousness, hearing the siren as you hold your gun up in broad daylight but they begin to wither when you tilt your head slowly to the cop car.
"Hands up!" one of the police officer's screams, jumping out of the car.
You hold your hands up and flash them the tattoo on your wrist.
"Oh! Mrs. Park, good morning! These men troubling you?" 
Twirling your finger, your Lions show their brands to the cops and they step behind you as you look down at your nails once more.
"Yes, they are. I'm late for brunch now because of these stupid morons. I'm pregnant, hungry and tired," you breathe, passing Sanghoon your gun.
He sheathes it under his belt and you sigh loudly once more.
"Do you want us to take them in?" the officer asks.
You look them over, they seem drunk and strung out and it wouldn't be in your best interest to get into a turf war with Oh Byung who you've never even met before.
"No," you surmise, heading back to your car.
"But, Madam! They touched my g--"
The Lion stops themself when you simply tilt your head. "If you have a concern about it, you can bring it up to my husband at the meeting tomorrow. You can ask for vengeance then. I, however, as I have said countless times already, am late for brunch. Do you expect me to have to stand here on some random filthy street while you exact your revenge and I'll have to clean it up for you by having to parley with Oh Byung?" 
The sharpness of your voice makes the Lions wince and the Hyenas stare down at you in confusion.
"I'm sorry, Madam. I'll bring up the matter tomorrow evening. I apologize."
You hum in agreement, rounding the car.
"Officers, good morning. Sanghoon, get your fucking ass in this car before I kill you myself," you hiss, opening the door and climbing in.
"Yes, noona," he whispers, rushing over to the passenger side and slapping a Hyena on the cheek in passing.
Peeling away from the curb, you watch in the rear view mirror as the police begin to split up both of the groups and you roll your eyes with a sigh.
"You're better than that, Hoonie," you chide the flower boy.
With a whine, he leans over to put his hand on your growing bump. "I didn't even do anything, noona. It wasn't my fault."
Most of the Lions know just how much you adore this younger man, since you've raised him from just a mere pickpocket to the brute he is now. Everyone knows he's your favorite.
"You're supposed to be keeping them in line, not letting them fight in the middle of the street on a random Wednesday morning! C'mon, Hoonie, you need to be smarter than that!"
With a sigh, he nods and pulls away from you. "I'm sorry, noona. I'll be better." 
"Yeah, you better be."
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Stepping into the restaurant, you nod your head to the hostess and she smiles at you widely.
"Mrs. Park, good morning! Hyunah is waiting for you in the private room!" 
You hum in agreement, taking off in the direction without a word.
As you walk, you don't feel the familiar presence of the man you just picked up off the street and when you turn around to look at him, you roll your eyes.
"Sanghoon!" 
There the handsome man stands, leaning against the hostess podium with a toothpick between his teeth. His smirk is broad and handsome as he flirts with the girl. He looks over at you quickly, watching how your eyebrow raises and your hands come crashing down on your hips. 
"Call me," he quips to the hostess, jogging to be by your side.
"I am gonna shoot you," you hiss at him, turning on your heel.
"Come on, noona. She was pretty hot," he breathes, pushing the room door open.
"You think everyone is hot," you scoff, smiling at Hyunah and taking off your sunglasses.
"Little Lion causing big trouble?" your friend teases, leaning over the table to kiss your cheek.
"Clearly. Morning, gorgeous," Yoongi breathes, kissing your temple and smacking Sanghoon upside the head.
"Ow!" Hoon whines, falling into his chair beside you and folding his arms.
Yoongi pulls out your chair for you and when you sit down, he stands behind you like always.
It's a weird dynamic Hyunah and him have now as their years go on. You expect him to always be by her side but that's never the case. He's always behind you, he's always been your confidante and your right hand man. You would have expected things to change but they never do.
Lighting a cigarette, your older friend leans back in her chair.
"Can you eat? Are you sick with this one?" she asks, ashing her cigarette.
"This baby is very good so far," you reply, throwing the word at her.
She hums in agreement, pouring herself a glass of sangria.
"What do you want to drink?" Yoongi inquires over your shoulder.
"Sparkling water," you reply.
"Hoon," your right hand man calls, leaving the room.
You watch them both leave and you quip an eyebrow to Hyunah as she sips her drink.
"Lioness…" she begins, crossing her legs, "promise me something."
Her voice is low with sorrow and you sigh.
"What'd you read in your tea leaves this time?" you jeer, folding your arms.
She doesn't smile, she doesn't take your words lightly like you expect her to. She just exists in the same space and it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
"Promise me you will always take care of Yoongi and the Lees. Can you do that for me?" 
The tip of your tongue runs over your bottom lip and you pull the petal into your mouth to peel some skin off. She's deadly serious and it courses concern through your bones.
"Hyunah… What're you talki-"
"I said," she hisses, venomously, leaning forward, "promise me that you will look after my fucking family."
"You know I will. You know I promise," you breathe, confused.
She gives a small sigh of relief then. "I knew you would, I just needed to hear it."
"Care to tell me what's going on?" you inquire, watching the doors open up once more.
"No. I do not," she mumbles, pulling from her cigarette.
You watch the smoke shroud her face like some sort of ethereal veil and you clear your throat when Yoongi puts the water in front of you.
"Where's Sanghoon?" you mumble, grabbing the water.
"Hitting on the hostess," your friend replies.
You watch his eyes flicker over to his wife as he sits down and you can see an animosity in his irises that makes you want to shudder.
This man for the past nine years has loved his wife so completely and so confidently that this random flit of anger has you seemingly confused.
It wasn't like this last week or even four days ago when you last saw them. 
Four days ago, Yoongi was all over Hyunah at one of your meetings and now he doesn't even seem to want to look at her. 
"Let's order," the head of the Lees breathes, burning out her cigarette.
Yoongi wafts the smoke away from your face and when Hyunah gets up to leave the room, you search his eyes for understanding.
"Don't," he warns you softly, coursing his rough hands over his face.
"Yoon-"
"I said don't," he hisses, smacking the table roughly.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you put your hand to your stomach and he swallows thickly as his eyes follow your hand. "Just leave it alone. Please, Y/N, for me. Just leave it."
"I'm just confused," you whisper, leaning towards him.
He gives a short, full laugh only to roll his eyes moments later. "Yeah, you're not the only fucking one."
"You can talk to me, Yoongi. You know that don't you?" 
He takes a short breath between his teeth, running a hand over the back of your head. "I know. But there's nothing to talk about, okay? Hyunah is just being Hyunah and while it hurts me to say it… She has to handle her own problems. She doesn't want to talk to me."
You cringe softly at his pained voice and you can only sip your water as the Vixen who brought you up in the world reenters the room. She watches her husband pull away from you and clearing her throat, she sits back down.
"I ordered you porridge, you're too skinny with this baby," she breathes, grabbing her linen napkin and draping it over her lap.
"Thank you," you reply kindly, folding your arms.
You wouldn't be the woman you are if you didn't try to get to the bottom of this. And knowing yourself, you will get answers whether they like it or not.
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"Noona, I have a gun run," Hoon breathes, looking down at his Rolex.
"Then go," you muse, stepping out of the restaurant with Yoongi by your side.
Sanghoon gives an expedient nod, kissing your cheek goodbye and taking off immediately.
"That kid walks around like he owns this fucking city," your friend huffs, watching the Lion walk away.
"Oh, leave him alone," you laugh, shoving his shoulder.
"That's exactly why he acts that way. Because he knows how much you love him and how cute you think he is," Yoongi chides, opening the car door for you.
"He is cute," you agree, "I raised him."
The gun runner rolls his eyes, rounding the car and when he climbs in beside you, you simply blink at him.
"I said, don't start. Why are you starting?" he hisses, narrowing his eyes at you.
"I didn't say anything," you mutter, holding a hand up as you start the car.
"I can see it in your little Vixen face. 'What's wrong with her, Yoongi?' 'Why are you acting like this, Yoongs?' 'Please tell me!' Stop," the Lion grunts, folding his arms.
"Well if you can see it then answer," you breathe, pulling away from the curb.
"Y/N!" Yoongi yells, slapping his hand against the dashboard, "I told you already, she won't fucking talk to me about it! God, when you're pregnant, you're so fucking nosy. Shit!"
Stepping on the brakes, you watch him brace himself against the dash and you widen your eyes at him.
Grabbing the collar of his suit jacket, you pull him to you with hardened eyes.
"You don't take an attitude with me, Min Yoongi. It's not my fault that your wife is being silent. Don't you dare be this way to me. Do you understand?!"
The gun runner sighs, closing his eyes and pushing your hand off of him gently. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm stressed out and I shouldn't take it out on you. You're just trying to help."
"If you need to take your anger out somewhere, you call Jina for one of the Golden Cage girls. You don't ever talk to me like that!"
"Fierce Vixen," he mumbles, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes.
The drive is silent for a while longer before Yoongi pulls out his gun and begins to clean it beside you.
When the Lion's are fucked up in the brain, when they're trying to work things out, they clean their guns. It's something they've picked up from Jimin after all these years.
"How many blocks have we driven?" Yoongi inquires, looking up from his lap.
"Uhhh, fifteen or so? Why?" you ask in return, tilting your head towards him.
"Make a left," he whispers, reassembling his gun with fast fingers.
You do as told, looking through the mirror behind you.
When a car turns the corner with you, you swallow thickly. 
"Make a right," he breathes, pulling out the gun cartridge and counting the bullets.
Once again, you do as told and the car follows you.
"We have a tail," he announces, pulling out the burner phone.
Cracking your neck, you keep your eyes on the road as he calls someone.
There hasn't been anything like this to happen to your family yet in Busan and in a way it finally feels like you're being welcomed to the big city. No matter how fucked up it sounds.
"Park."
Your husband's voice is soothing and commanding on the other end of the line. Any nerves you would have begun to feel simply slink back into the recesses of your mind.
"Min," your friend announces, cocking his gun. "I'm with Y/N. We have a tail."
You can hear Jimin take a sharp breath between his teeth and you glance at the rear view mirror once more. 
"They're gaining," you mutter, pressing your foot down on the gas pedal.
"Yoongi, you better look after my wife and baby, do you fucking hear me?!" Jimin yells.
You can hear the anxiousness in his voice and you find yourself smirking as the head Lion crawls out of his den at a steady pace.
"I hear you," Yoongi replies, putting the phone down on your lap.
"Kitten," your husband calls to you.
"I'm here," you promise, turning a sharp corner and bracing yourself.
"Kitten, are you okay? Do you need me to come and get you?" 
"I'm a big girl now, Chim. I can handle a little car chase."
"Watch our baby boy," he pleads and you can just picture him staring out the window and running his fingers through his thick black locks.
Narrowing your eyes at the license plate, you take another sharp turn.
52 -- 5087
You relay the numbers and Yoongi nods dutifully as he puts them in his phone.
"Watch the fucking--" Yoongi screams, looking up from his phone.
"Kitten?!" Jimin yells nervously.
"God! Relax!" you yell back, turning the car away from oncoming traffic.
"Baby, please, be careful!" your husband whines loudly.
"You're acting like pussies! Holy shit!" you laugh, turning down a dirt road and stepping hard on the breaks. 
"She always acts so fucking tough when she's pregnant like the baby is her shield or some shit!" Yoongi curses, shoving open the door and aiming his gun at the oncoming car.
"He better watch his fucking mouth," you hear your husband scoff.
Grabbing the phone off your lap, you also grab your gun and climb out of the car.
Holding the phone to your ear, you aim at the SUV.
"Jimin, earlier this morning some Lions were fighting with Hyenas. They might be trying to scare us or try to exact revenge," you calmly tell your husband.
"And let me guess," your husband hisses, "your favorite little boy was amongst them!"
Once the SUV stops and the doors swing open, Yoongi fires a warning shot high into the air.
"You step out of that car, I'm gonna put a fucking bullet in your goddamn skull! Do you hear me?!" your right hand man screams at the top of his lungs.
"Tell me where you are," Jimin pleads.
"Oh, baby," you coo softly, "don't worry about us, we'll be home soon. Can you ask Mirae to make me ginger tea?"
"Kitten, please. Tell me where you are and I'll kill these fuckers myself."
You ignore your husband, aiming your gun when a head pops up from the driver's side door.
Yoongi fires one more shot and the head ducks.
"You Lions are stepping on territory that don't belong to you!" 
Yoongi chuckles, leaning against the car and closing one eye. 
"We own all of Busan now! You go run and tell your boss that if he wants to act big then he can do it at a parley! You shoot either one of us, your whole family is gonna fucking die! Think carefully!"
You hum in amusement, climbing back into the car and brushing off your dress.
"See, I told you I'll be home soon," you tell your husband.
"Back the fuck up! Or I will shoot you where you stand!" you hear your friend scream.
You lean over the middle console and shove his door open for him as you begin to slowly back the Escalade out of the dirt road.
Yoong climbs back into the car, lowering his window and angling his body out of it. Holding up his gun, he flicks his hand and when the SUV starts to back out, he begins to laugh.
"I wish someone would give me a fucking reason to shoot them! Lord knows I could do with some stress relief right now!" he screams at the top of his lungs.
"What the fuck is wrong with him?" Jimin inquires, curiously.
"See you when I get home?" you ask happily, pulling out of the dirt road and shooting one of the van's wheels with a wide smile.
"I'll be waiting, kitten. You know I would wait a million years for you," your husband breathes.
"I love you," you smile, driving back towards the apartment complex.
"I love you, too, baby. See you soon."
"You guys are gross," Yoongi murmurs, beginning to take apart his gun once again.
"You love it," you tease, putting your sunglasses on.
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Stepping into your house, you smile at Mirae.
"Good morning, Madam."
"Morning, Mirae. Hi, baby," you coo, kissing Sejeong's forehead as the maid sets him down.
"Watch the baby," Jimin calls from the hallway and you turn to him with a smirk.
"Ginger tea is in the office for you, Madam."
"Thanks, Mirae," you breathe, looking over the apartment.
In truth, this apartment could rival the large estate you once lived in. No longer are there warm wooden walls to surround you but instead marble and granite meet your eyes. Jimin did right by his family, of course, as he always does. He renovated the top floor, ripping out the walls and doors until the whole place was one large home. All of your children have their own rooms and there's plenty more to spare which Jimin swears he'll fill them up over the next few years but you have no opinion on that matter. Your shared bedroom is way larger than your previous one and it has all the comforts you could ask for.
Peeling off his crisp black dress shirt, your husband tosses it carelessly over his shoulder, hooking it with his index finger. Walking down the large, sunlit hallway, your fingers brush over his hard abs as you pass him.
"Mirae, why don't you take Sejeong to your apartment for a while, hmm?" your husband breathes, following after you.
When you open up the office door, you watch Lion hop off of the desk like he knows he's going to get in trouble. 
"Naughty boy," you hiss to him as he scurries out into the hallway.
Before you can even get to the desk, your husband is wrapping his arms around you.
"Are you okay, kitten? You're always so bold when you have boys inside you. You need to be careful," Jimin whispers, cupping your cheek with a soft hand.
"We're just fine," you promise, planting a soft kiss on his lips.
When you pull away, his fingers reach up to the nape of your neck and he twirls your hair around his fingers to keep you from moving. "If I remember correctly, you teased me this morning. You know how I feel about that, baby girl."
You whine softly, drifting your nails over the large tattoo that now covers his stomach and side, it's an homage to his family. Every cub he's had, you, his brother's, your names are scrawled across his skin for life.
"Who do you belong to, kitten?" 
"You, daddy. Always," you breathe, wrapping your arms around his neck.
His free hand roams over your backside until he grabs at the skirt of your dress.
"This is expensive," you warn him, pull away.
He chases after your lips with a sly smirk, tugging you closer with the hand on your neck. "And who bought you this pretty dress?"
"You did," you reply, reaching down for his Versace belt.
Your fingers slowly tug at the leather until it hits the floor with a loud thud.
"And if daddy wants to rip this dress up, he'll just buy you a new one," your husband whispers against your lips.
Letting go of your neck, he grabs the bottom of your dress and the sound of ripping fabric echoes through your ears until you're scantily clad in just a bra and thong.
"God, you're so fucking beautiful," Jimin groans wantonly.
When you jump up, he catches you easily, his hands settle beneath the globes of your ass and he presses you against the wall to open the office door.
"Watch the baby," he mumbles, biting his bottom lip as you suckle the thin skin of his neck.
His strides are quick and confident towards the bedroom and when you reach the solace of your room, he pulls you back to kiss him.
The tip of his tongue traces over your lower lip and when you open your mouth for him with a feeble whine, he groans long and low before you.
"Fuck," he curses, setting you down on the bed.
His fingers trail over your skin, producing goosebumps and you whine his name softly.
He kisses over your stomach, eyes on yours all the while as he makes his descent. When a gentle flutter makes itself known beneath his lips, he smirks.
"I know, mommy is impatient," he whispers to his son, tugging your thong until it's mere string.
"Daddy, please," you cry, spreading your legs.
If it's one thing that could never change between the both of you, it's just how easy it is to get you begging and panting with want for your husband.
"Oh? The tease wants to act like a little cum slut now, hmm?" your husband quips, spreading your lower lips with his fingers.
He finds himself groaning at the mess between your legs, shiny and slick with want for his large cock.
"Goddamn, kitten. You're fucking soaked," he hisses, slapping your pussy with the palm of his hand.
Your body writhes at the jolt of painful pleasure and the head Lion takes it upon himself to quell your pain. His pink, plush lips kiss at your throbbing clit, fingertips digging into your fleshy thighs. 
"Daddy, please!" you beg once more.
"Mm mm," he denies you, sucking your throbbing bud into his mouth.
"I want your cock," you whine, taking your bra off.
"That's very clear, baby girl. Your pussy is a fucking mess. Daddy has to clean it up now since you're such a little cum whore," he murmurs, suckling your lips and licking a flat stripe over your weeping sex.
Your body sags into the bed, fingers carding through your husband's black locks of hair.
"God, this pregnant pussy tastes so fucking good," Jimin sighs happily. 
It almost sounds like he wants to fucking cry. God, how he adores you.
"Fuck, kitten, I love you so much," he whispers against you, entering two fingers into your sodden core.
You sob loudly at the feeling, spreading your legs wider for more.
"I love you too!" you gasp, closing your eyes.
Curling his fingers to the soft patch of nerves inside of you, he diligently flicks the tip of his tongue to your clit.
"Oh my God!" he whispers against you, putting his free hand to your belly.
"Daddy!" you blubber, gyrating your hips for more.
"That's it, baby girl. Cum on daddy's fingers. Show me how much you love it," he coos, kissing up your body and replacing his tongue with his thumb.
He rubs fast circles, minding your stomach as his lips part around your puffy, dark nipple.
"Goddamn, you're ready to make milk already," he hisses, suckling softly on your sensitized skin.
Your fingers grip his hair harder and your cries are becoming stunted and small. 
The invisible band within you is tightening and your husband knows it all too well as you clench around him rhythmically. 
"Cum on my fingers, kitten. Good girl," your husband praises, rubbing tighter and faster circles to your nub.
There is nothing better than having you alone in this big bed, the only woman he could ask for, his soulmate.
"Right there!" you gasp, seeing stars paint your eyelids as he keeps his fingers taut to the nerves inside of you.
"Give it to me," Jimin orders, moving his hand so fast inside of you that you choke on a moan. He suckles at your nipple harder, leaving your belly to pinch and roll your other forsaken nipple between his fingers.
"Yes, yes, yes, daddy," you chant, feeling the invisible band within you break.
"That's my good girl," he whispers softly, fucking you through the orgasm and moving his fingers out of the way for you to squirt onto the bed.
He groans at the amount of wetness that squirts from you and when you open your hazy, love drunk eyes, you find your husband smiling down at you.
"Hi, there," he whispers, kissing you languidly. 
You can feel how hard his cock is as it rests against your thigh in the confines of his suit pants.
Tugging him closer by his belt loop, you flip him onto his back with a simple shove.
"Mmm, kitten," he groans, tucking a hand beneath his head to watch you.
Your fingers are cool and confident as you undo his pants and when you kiss down his chest, he sighs content.
"Fuck, your lips feel so good," your husband murmurs, letting his free hand lazily caress over your hard nipples.
When you whine at the feeling, the sound goes straight to his cock and it twitches, begging for mercy. His plush bottom lip tucks between his pearly white teeth and he sighs loudly when you free his hard cock from the confines of his pants.
"Kitten, be a good girl for me," he coos, grabbing your hair with his fist and making a makeshift ponytail.
"Yes, daddy," you preen softly, kissing down his long length.
"Sexy little tease," he hisses, tugging on your hair gently.
Swirling your tongue around the head of his cock, his jaw tightens. His eyes roll into the back of his head and his chest puffs up with pleasure.
"Oh, kitten, fuck. Take it deep," he moans, tapping your throat.
Doing as told, you swallow around him until your nose nestles against his pubic bone and the sharp breath he takes between his teeth tells you just how good it feels for him.
"God, look at you, baby!" your husband whines, leaning up on his elbow to palm one of your breasts in hand, "you look so beautiful stuffed full with my cock and baby."
You hum in agreement, bobbing your head and getting sloppy on his cock. 
His thick thigh muscles become terse and strained as pleasure shoots through him. His hips thrust on their own and he coos sweetly when fat tears begin to roll down your cheeks.
Brushing his thumbs against your cheeks, he moans your name loudly.
"Kitten! Fuck! Oh my God, you're gonna make be cum, baby girl!" 
He tugs harder on your hair, eyes squeezing shut. Just when he's right about to cum, when you can feel his cock throbbing and thickening on your tongue, he groans. "Off, pull off, I wanna cum inside you, baby."
You hum in agreement, rubbing your thighs together for any friction you can receive.
"C'mere, kitten," Jimin whispers, sitting up against the headboard.
You whimper for him, spreading your legs over his own. His fingertips drift over your inner thighs and he sighs softly at how dripping wet you are.
"Watch my boy," he murmurs against your lips, positioning the head of his cock to your entrance.
You sit down on him slowly, moaning at the stretch.
"So fucking tight," your husband gasps, putting his hands on your hips, "your pussy is so wet, shit."
"Daddy," you gasp, curling your arms around his neck needily.
"I got you, baby. Take everything from me," Jimin whispers, kissing you passionately.
Your hips lift only to crash back down at a rhythmic pace. The head Lion's hands glide over your skin, tongue running over yours and swallowing your pleasurable cries.
There was no one in the world he could ever adore more than you and still to this very day he feels like the luckiest man in the universe.
Pulling him closer, he steadies you when his stomach smacks into yours.
"Easy, kitten," he breathes, cupping your face.
"Your cock feels so good, daddy! I love how big it is," you whine, throwing your head back.
His legs find purchase beneath yours and he thrusts his hips to meet you with every chance he gets. "Yeah? You love my big cock? You want to cum on it? Hmm? Wanna make your pregnant cunt cream all over me?"
You nod incessantly, mouth dropping open to give a silent scream.
"That's my good girl. Daddy loves your pregnant pussy, baby. Feels so fucking good," he groans, burying his face into your neck to suckle at your sensitive skin.
He feels it then, the rhythmic clenching around him that he knows so well. 
"Right there, baby? You like it right there?" he taunts, grabbing your hips and fucking up into you faster.
Your nails dig into his shoulders and your eyes squeeze shut. "J-Jimin!"
"Oh my God!" he cries, laying you down on your back and thrusting into you with everything he has.
His plush lips suckle roughly at your nipple and he scoffs loudly as pleasure flows through him.
"Fuck, daddy! I'm go-gonna--"
"I know, kitten. Fuck, I feel it, it feels so good. Give it to me, baby girl. Please," he begs, putting your ankles over his shoulders.
His hand comes to settle at the apex of your thighs and he rubs sweet, unforgiving circles until your back is arching off the mattress.
"Just like that, baby. You're gonna make me cum. Your pregnant pussy is so tight for me," Jimin coos, kissing you roughly.
You cry out into his mouth as your second orgasm racks through you and with a groan, he flips you over.
Cupping your belly, he knocks your knees open wider until your head is hanging between your shoulders.
"Jesus Christ, you're so amazing, kitten," he praises, kissing over your shoulder.
"D-Daddy, your cock is so fucking big," you sob, squeezing your eyes shut.
"Yeah, I fucking bet it is. You love daddy's cock in your slutty little hole, don't you?"
You can only screech a million affirmations as he spanks the globes of your ass, burnishing his handprint into your skin.
"Y/N," he moans loudly when you begin to buck back against him.
"Cum inside me, daddy. Please fill me up. I want to drip with you," you beg, tugging his hand from your belly to your breast.
Burying his face into your neck, he pinches and rolls your nipple once more until his thighs begin to quake. 
"I want you to walk around this fucking house with my cum running down your legs and my baby on display. Do you hear me, kitten?" 
You nod incessantly, gasping when the head of his cock nestles against your soft cervix folds. 
"Kitten!" he whines loudly, furrowing his eyebrows.
He gives sloppy, slow thrusts as his cum paints your velvet walls. Sighing loudly, he wraps his arms around you. Falling to your side, he kisses over the back of your neck.
"I missed you, kitten," your husband mumbles into your ear.
"This morning has been way too eventful for me," you breathe, closing your eyes.
"I have a lot of fucking questions for you," Jimin replies, rolling you onto your back and kissing your pregnant bump.
Rolling off of the bed, your husband grabs his briefs. You slip on his dress shirt, covering your breasts when the chill of the room finally seeps into your bones.
Pouring himself a glass of whisky, the head Lion fixes the waistband of his briefs. When he turns back to you, the smile that spreads on his face makes you raise an eyebrow.
"What?" you mumble, looking down at the shirt.
"Stand for me, baby," he coos, above the lip of his glass.
You do as he asks, walking over to him as he holds out a hand. Setting down his glass, he curls his arms around you as he faces the mirror. 
"Look at you," he whispers, kissing your temple.
One hand falls below your belly and the other fixes his shirt to cover your breasts. 
"God, I'm the luckiest man in the world," your husband chuckles, kissing the shell of your ear and swaying with you.
"You're gonna make yourself excited again if you continue on like this," you giggle.
Peering at your thighs as you begin to cream with his cum, he smiles wider. "You're right about that, baby girl. My cum looks so good on you, fuck."
Turning you around, he picks up his whisky glass once more. "Please explain to me what happened this morning, kitten."
You can only sigh, pulling him along with you to the bathroom. 
He leans against the door frame, crossing his muscular legs and folding one arm beneath the other. Taking a sip of his whisky, he watches with loving eyes as you turn on the bathtub.
"Don't make the water too hot, my little man can't handle it," he reminds you, watching you strip off his shirt.
"After I dropped the kids off this morning, I saw some Lions fighting with a family I've never seen before. Hyenas."
"Who's the head of the Hyena family?" Jimin inquires, helping you into the tub and sitting down on the bench beside it.
"Oh Byung, I want Namjoon to look into them. They're also who tailed me and Yoongi earlier."
"Yeah, good idea, baby. We'll have Joon look into them… Also what the fuck is up with Yoongi? He's acting…-"
"Oh my God! I know!" you gasp, widening your eyes at your husband, "This morning was so fucking weird! When I had brunch with Hyunah… It seemed like they were on bad terms."
Jimin sips his whisky, furrowing his eyebrows at your words.
"Hyunah and Yoongi on bad terms? That doesn't sound right."
"I know! And she asked me to always look after Yoongi and the Lees like…like something bad was happening," you bleat, running warm water over your goosebumped skin.
"Did you press her about it? Did she say anything?"
You give your husband an incredulous look to which he simply hums in agreement. 
"What about Yoongs, then?"
"He told me to 'mind my fucking business and don't start'," you recount, flashing your husband air quotes along with his words.
"I'll fucking shoot him in the neck… how dare he get snippy with you," Jimin hisses, setting down his glass.
"I mean don't get me wrong, we fight too and I get that but when he looked at Hyunah it was like… he fucking hated her. And I'm not just saying it to be dramatic, he really looked vicious and…and hurt."
The head Lion sniffs softly, staring at your belly as he lets your words process through his brain.
"I was only joking with her when I asked her what she saw in her tea leaves but she got so mad at me… like she saw red or something for even bringing it up."
"Huh," he breathes, tilting his head confused.
"I don't know. It seems like something to keep in mind and maybe even something to worry about if it doesn't get fixed," you bleat, grabbing the soap.
"Yeah, well, I don't want you worrying about anything. You just focus on making my baby boy big and strong. We'll deal with it if it comes down to it."
You give him a nod, laying back in the tub and sighing softly. 
"I'm gonna go pick the kids up from school, you get ready for the meeting later, okay?"
"Okay," you promise, closing your eyes.
"I love you, kitten."
"I love you, too, Chim." 
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Setting your gun down on the table, you sit down in your large chair and when Joon enters, you toss your phone into the soundproof box like always.
"Hey, Y/N," he chirps, kissing your temple and taking his usual seat.
"She fucking ripped my hair out!" Taehyung curses, stepping into the large apartment that's now your meeting area and combing his fingers through his hair to see a very apparent bald spot through the mirrored walls.
"And why did she do that, hyung?" Guk chuckles, widening his eyes happily at the sight of you.
"Hi, noona!" he squeals happily, rushing over and planting a sloppy kiss on your cheek. 
He runs a hand over your bump as he takes his seat beside you and you look incredulously at Tae who stomps his foot on the ground.
"Hyejin ripped my hair out because I taught Hyungwon what a 'pussy' is."
You can only snort, rolling your eyes at his antics.
"Hey, Y/N," he mumbles, sullenly, falling into his chair with a whine.
"You're the pussy," your brother-in-law laughs, stepping around the multitude of chairs to kiss your forehead. "Oh! Y/N! Jisuk made you and the baby a present if you wanna come over and grab it soon."
"Aw!" you pout sweetly, nodding to Jin, "I'll come over later to see it! How's my little Jungwoon?"
"He finally can eat scrambled eggs, you were right, he just needed a little more force to get solid foods down."
Winking at him, you watch the apartment door open once more.
This family has been getting bigger and bigger and you're so pleased to see everyone doing well.
"Uhm, noona?" Jeongguk whispers as Hoseok enters.
You lean over to him as he pushes his sunglasses up into his hair. 
"Yunjin has been having a really bad rash down there and Vixen was wondering if any of your girls ever had that…" he mumbles into your ear.
Pulling away, you pinch his cheek sweetly. "Oh yeah, that might happen. You might have to put more powder on after her baths or change her diaper more so she doesn't sit in the wetness. Try some baby powder at first and then put some ointment on for a few days. If it doesn't get better, then take her to the doctor." 
"Okay," he promises, nodding strictly and pulling out his phone to text his wife.
"Guk, come on," Hoseok says, kissing the top of your head and tossing his own phone into the box.
"Sorry, one minute," the youngest promises.
"Leave him alone, it's a serious concern," you breathe, looking down at your nails.
"Thanks, noona," he smiles, wrinkling his nose and tossing the phone into the box.
Yoongi and Jimin step into the space together and you watch your husband rolls his eyes.
Uh oh. What happened there?
"Guns," he breathes, pulling his gun from behind his back and placing it on the large marble table beside you.
He plants a chaste kiss on your lips and you reply in kind.
"Yoongi… phone," Joon says, grabbing the box.
Your right hand man sighs loudly and he throws the phone in with a grunt.
Drifting his fingers over the gnarled scar on his cheek, he pulls out a cigarette and lights it.
"Hyung, c'mon… you know noona is pregnant," Guk complains, wafting the smoke away from you.
"Did you knock her up? Is that your baby? Why are you so worried about what I'm doing? Worry about yourself, you hear me?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," your husband breathes, furrowing his eyebrows.
"What'd you just say?" the youngest asks clipped through his teeth, quick to defend your honor.
"I said mind your fucking business, Jeon Jeongguk before I fucking make you," the older man seethes, pressing both hands to the table and leaning forward.
You watch the smoke lazily rise, his scarred eye squinting to block out the toxic fumes and you only cross your arms at the sight.
"Burn out the cigarette!" your husband orders, grabbing his gun, "you know you don't smoke around my wife when she's pregnant."
"Well then I might as well quit smoking forever! She's always knocked up!" 
You take a sharp breath between your teeth at how wrong he is to say those words and you flinch when your husband kicks his chair back with fury.
"Y'know, you're acting like me when I was a fucking head case," Guk spits, narrowing his eyes, "I almost lost my life because of it."
You watch the youngest lift his shirt to show his gnarled, large scar and thinking about that day at his warehouse makes your skin clammy and your stomach roll.
"Burn. Out. The. Cigarette," Taehyung hisses to his left, practically pleading with his oldest friend to do as he's told.
"Fuck!" Yoongi yells, throwing the cigarette on the floor and stomping on it repeatedly. "You happy now?! You bunch of hypocritical fucks!" 
"What's up, man? Is it Hyunah?" Joon inquires softly, spinning his wedding ring around on his finger.
"Do you see my fucking wife at this goddamn table?! Do you see that woman anywhere near me?! Don't ask me stupid goddamn questions!" your right hand man screams at the top of his lungs.
Calmly, you stand up. 
"Yoongi," you breathe, rounding the table.
"No, Y/N, just fucking stop," he sighs, burying his face in his hands.
"Easy, kitten," your husband says, cautiously.
"Yoongi, you can talk to us," you promise, leaning against the back of Namjoon's chair.
Your friend kicks back his own chair and he grabs your shoulders roughly. His eyes are pained and frantic, looking down at you with gritted teeth.
You sigh softly when everyone's guns cock loudly.
"I don't want to talk about it. Why can't you just leave it alone?! I have my own problems with my wife. Just like Hoseok. Just like Taehyung. Or Guk or Joon or everyone else! What do you want me to say?! That my wife is acting out of order? That she makes me sleep in a different fucking bed?! That she suddenly turned on me four days ago and she won't tell me what's wrong?! Is that what you fucking want from me?!" he cries loudly, slamming his fist down onto the table until you envelop him into a hug.
He buries his face into your neck and he hugs you so tightly that it makes you flinch. Namjoon puts his hand to your back to keep you upright as your right hand man sobs loudly.
Swallowing thickly, you run your hand over his back.
Jimin uncocks his gun and he motions his hand for the others to do so as well. Turning his back to everyone, he tilts his head.
Hyunah would never just act like this for no reason, she's so fucking strong. Hell, she had a personal hand in making you as strong as you are.
"Get off," Yoongi breathes, clearing his throat and pulling away.
You cup his face, wiping his now reddened cheek before stepping back and rounding the table to your seat once more.
Sitting down once more, you tilt your head to Jimin as he pours himself a glass of liquor.
When he turns back around, he kisses your forehead sweetly.
"Namjoon, I want you to look into Oh Byung. I want everything on him that you can possibly find," your husband announces, sitting down beside you and placing his hand on your belly.
Your friend simply nods, making a mental note of it. "You got it."
"Yoongi, I'm also sorry that you're going through the shit right now but Y/N has always been by your side, don't you dare ever speak to my wife like that again. I'll put a bullet between your eyes."
Your right hand man nods, staring down at the marble table with narrowed eyes.
"Any other agendas for this meeting?" you inquire, crossing your legs and looking down at your nails.
The Lion's voices begin to drone in and out of your ears and you can only feel your husband's thumb brushing loving strokes over your stomach.
Moving to Busan to get away from all the painful ties to life seemed all too easy and as you and Jimin sit side by side, you can practically hear each other's thoughts screaming at one another.
Yet another problem arises.
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biggest-whump-fan · 1 year
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I started this new manhwa and it's literally have whump IN EVERY DAMN SINGLE CHAPTER !! 😩
It's called: I'm not that kind of talent , ch 1
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I love that the fact that the LIs are women are considered in this story! It helps make them seem as if they’re not m!coded.
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thetremblingroofbeam · 5 months
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amanedachi · 6 months
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shysheeperz · 2 years
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lloydfrontera · 4 months
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what if suho transmigrated into royalty though? Would he still not actually like that? Afterall if let's say he is the son of a king or rich duke will he be ok with being tied to royalties since he is rich from the beginning? Excluding if the royalty family is horrible and people are planning to revolt against them?
i mean. i guess?? lloyd's main issue with royalty or being close to it is the danger it inherently involves.
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he doesn't like the idea of being involved in any politics and that's exactly what happens when you're close to or part of the royal family. he'd much rather be the son of baron in the middle of nowhere that a well-off aristocrat.
sure being rich is nice, but if it comes with the dangers of being involved in a rebellion or a conspiracy it simply isn't worth it.
i think people overestimate how money oriented lloyd is. like. yes he does want to be rich, yes he does want to get as much money as he can, but it's not really about the money itself. it's about the safety and security it represents.
going into debt and losing all their money is what killed his parents and sunk him into a life of misery back in korea. lloyd is genuinely traumatized by that. him wanting to gain as much money as possible is all about him desperately trying to avoid being in the same situation that caused him so much pain. i joked about it before but it's literally the trauma that makes him have so many back up plans when it comes to his income sources.
i think if lloyd had been isekai'd into a family that wasn't on the brink of bankruptcy he wouldn't have tried to get rich nearly as hard as he did in canon. he woke up in a very triggering situation, where he was given the chance to avoid letting his new family fall apart the way he couldn't with his original one. of course he went over board with it.
but being rich and in danger isn't really any better in his mind. he wants a stable and comfortable life, not a particularly lavish one. being part of the royal family or the son of a rich duke maybe very comfortable, but there will always be a part of him worrying about whether he's about to be involved in a political mishap or a rebellion or what have you.
lloyd wants security. safety. to be able to protect his family and keep them happy. just that.
“It will be just burdensome for me to obtain more power, larger territories, a stronger military, or something along that line. I’ll be kept away from leisure to deal with it all. Doesn’t it seem like a lot of work? Thus, my only wish is for my family and the people around me to be at ease and happy. I want to live the rest of my life surrounded by their warmth without another day of work.” “And that is why the Jewel of Truth is a burden to you?” “Yes, since I already have everything necessary to make my dream come true. Nothing more is needed. So long as I stop the restoration of destiny, I’ll be able to achieve my goal. Anything beyond that would just become a stumbling block to my dream.”
i guess if there was a way for him to be absolutely sure that there was no danger at all for the family he was born into then he wouldn't mind? which i suppose he could use the ending spoiler for that but. i think a part of him would always worry. a part of him would always be on guard.
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mangalife · 8 months
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gloomforrestrunes · 4 months
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Chapter 1, Page 37
prev // next // first
sibbings <3
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deer-story · 1 month
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ch 1: pgs. 3 & 4
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jojolandsost · 1 year
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ifacotarwasgood · 9 months
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CHAPTER 1 - page 1/?
side-by-side comparison of acotar's original opening and my revised version.
original ch word count: 2452
revised ch word count: 1529
click for ch 1's full comparison document.
original:
The forest had become a labyrinth of snow and ice. I’d been monitoring the parameters of the thicket for an hour, and my vantage point in the crook of a tree branch had turned useless. The gusting wind blew thick flurries to sweep away my tracks, but buried along with them any signs of potential quarry. Hunger had brought me farther from home than I usually risked, but winter was the hard time. The animals had pulled in, going deeper into the woods than I could follow, leaving me to pick off stragglers one by one, praying they’d last until spring. They hadn’t. I wiped my numb fingers over my eyes, brushing away the flakes clinging to my lashes. Here there were no telltale trees stripped of bark to mark the deer’s passing—they hadn’t yet moved on. They would remain until the bark ran out, then travel north past the wolves’ territory and perhaps into the faerie lands of Prythian—where no mortals would dare go, not unless they had a death wish. A shudder skittered down my spine at the thought, and I shoved it away, focusing on my surroundings, on the task ahead. That was all I could do, all I’d been able to do for years: focus on surviving the week, the day, the hour ahead. And now, with the snow, I’d be lucky to spot anything—especially from my position up in the tree,
revised:
Hunger had brought me farther from home than I usually risked. From high in the crook of a tree, I monitored the snow-covered thicket, but my vantage had turned useless. Wind dense with flurries swept away my tracks but also buried any signs of potential quarry. I wiped my numb fingers over my eyes, brushing away the flakes clinging to my lashes. Most animals had pulled in deeper into the woods than I could follow, leaving me to pick off stragglers until spring. Here the birches were still sheathed in their papery white bark, which meant the deer hadn’t moved on yet. Once the bark ran out, they’d travel north, past the wolves’ territory and maybe into the faerie lands of Prythian. There, no one would dare follow—not even me, no matter how empty my stomach. I unstrung my bow and eased off the tree, stifling a groan. After more than an hour of stillness, my limbs were stiff. Icy snow crunched beneath my fraying boots, and I ground my teeth. Low visibility, unnecessary noise—I was well on my way to another pointless hunt. Only a few precious hours of daylight remained. If I didn’t leave soon, I’d have to walk home in the dark, and the warnings of the town hunters still rang fresh in my mind: wolves were on the prowl, and in numbers. Not to mention whispers of strange folk appearing between the trees, tall and eerie and deadly.
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