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levis-coffeecup · 5 months

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chapter 21| Carnival of Life

WC-5.1k

Summary

The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.

Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.

But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.

Author’s Note

Hi guysss!!!

I'm sorry it's been soo long. But the next chapter is finally out!!

It's similar to the Trost fair chapter, if anyone remembers... but the scene is rewritten. And scene 2 and 3 are completely different! Also, if you find any grammatical errors please comment about it to let me know!

Song for this chapter is Seneca by Novo Amor.

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

MAY 847

15 minutes are left before the clock strikes 4. The weather is pleasant. And people have started to fill the place. Ready to experience the renowned Trost fair.

Mae prances around as well, with enthusiasm in her every step. Her flowy-cotton sundress dances with the breeze. Her lips painted a rosy pink

Timidly Levi walks behind her, unable to think of anything other than her lips. And the color it would leave off on his, when they press against each other for a kiss.

Her hair bounces, with her every step. It has gotten so much thicker now. And her skin glows. Healthy and radiant even though a few zits are littered here and there.

Hange told him to compliment her. Apparently it's what men should do when their partner makes an effort to get dressed for an outing. And he racks his brain religiously, thinking of something that doesn’t make him sound like a dumbstruck idiot.

“Levi!,” Mae whines, as she turns to face him. “What are you doing there, walking so slow? Nothing will happen with the pace you’re on.”

“M-Mae..” He staggers forth, and she stops in her tracks, sensing his discomfort.

“Yes Levi, is something bothering you?” Her tone turns much softer.

“Y-your s-skin, it looks v-very good t-today.” If he had the courage, he would also tuck away the stray hair that falls in front of her face.

And Mae narrows her eyes as she looks at him, a little dazed. Currently she is sporting the biggest pimple on her nose.

“You know… no leakage or anything… It's intact… holds the organs in tight,” Levi continues, shying away at the way her eyes sparkle in the sun.

His gaze falls to the floor. And she pats him on the chest, with a smug smile on her face. “You’re cute,” she grins… as she boops his nose.

The gnawing winter tendrils have melted from the atmosphere. Summer has blossomed. And with time, Mae and Levi’s relationship has grown too.

Conversation has become easier. Efforts have become clearer. And understanding comes a little more naturally than before.

And now Levi is leaving in 2 weeks. The Survey Corps has to relocate. The thought itself saddens Mae. Just when things were getting better between them, the universe had to push them apart.

The chaos of the crowd ahead acts as a good distraction.

It feels like the entire city is here. People stand at every nook and corner. Paper lanterns are hung down from street lamps, and pillar tops. The tantalizing smell of sweets and the distant sound of music fills the air.

And protectively, Levi takes a hold of her hand, “Stick close, wouldn’t want you getting lost.”

The streets of Trost have become somewhat familiar. Levi has been coming here almost every week. Mainly because he’s dead set on finding Mae a house in Trost.

He’s made her quit her job at the tavern. And he’s also helping her financially to cover up for the money she would make at the tavern.

And Mae seems so much happier.

Time paces by incredibly fast in the mob. Mae prances around enthusiastically. Dragging Levi around…. Now they stand in the long line that starts at the food stalls.

It's crowded, people talk a lot, and they smell of sweat. Levi hates it, he’s only here because Mae has been very excited about this fair. She would come here every year, with her family when she was a kid.

“Levi! It's been an hour, and you haven’t had anything.” She speaks with a mouthful of cotton candy in her mouth.

“Because I don’t like sweets and you’ve been revolving around the same 3 sweet shops for the past hour,” he jabs.

“But Levi!...,” she pouts. “I want you to have fun as well. Tell me what you want to do, and we’ll do that.”

And Levi looks at her with the same blank face, that does no favors in showing what he’s thinking. I’m happy as long as you’re having a good time.

“Levi, say something!” She whines.

“I just want to sit in a quiet place, where people aren’t pushing me around and going crazy over stupid cotton candy.”

“You want to sit… Sit in a fair?” she chuckles. It takes her a moment to realize that Levi isn’t joking. And swiftly she grabs his hand, and pulls him along. Moving away from the long lines at the food stalls.

“I’ve got you covered.” she smirks. She takes him deeper into the fair. Inward and inward until she finds a quiet alley, with just a few stalls around.

And Mae’s eyes widen as they land on a middle-aged man who sits on a wooden stool. “He’s still here…,” she gasps in disbelief. And she takes a seat on the bench placed a few meters ahead of him.

2 hours later, they are still sitting on the bench, with Mae flashing a teeth-baring smile and Levi sporting his grumpy frown.

The young man in front of them has paint splattered over his hands now. And he scrunches his brows as he focuses on the canvas in front of him. “It’s almost done ma’am.”

Levi lets out an exhausted sigh at that.

It's boring, just sitting her still like a fucking statue or something.

But the other day Mae was talking about how she’s forgetting the faces of her parents.

It's something that he has experienced quite often as well. The feeling of forgetting the people that were once the closest to your heart. To completely lose touch, even in thought as their memory becomes distant and blurry

If he could, he would like to have a picture of all his lost loved ones as well. His mother, Kenny, Isabel and Farlan.

By the time the painting is finished, the sun is close to setting. Leaving the sky in shades of lavender and pink.

But Mae’s energy remains unwavering. Levi finds it a little hard to believe that this is the same lady that gets exhausted after 15 mins of cleaning.

“You want to play some games?”. She chirps, with her eyes wide.

“Tch yeah, drag me wherever…”

A couple of minutes later, Mae stands in an aiming stance. With some distance between her feet, her hips squared and one eye squinted as she focuses on the strawberry pasty ahead.

And Levi sighs, as she's back to food once again.

The game is simple, a table full of prizes is kept a few meters away . From sweets to soft toys and embroidered napkins as well. And the player has to aim a bunch of rings towards what they want.

“I haven’t had a strawberry pastry in so long Levi… and that… that looks so good. I’ll be the happiest if I get to have it.” She tosses the ring in her hand, towards the dish.

It misses, quite terribly. But Mae doesn’t let that diminish her confidence. “Just wait and watch me get it Levi… Nothing separates me from my pastry… ever.”

She aims, she throws, and she terribly misses.

The next 2 go far past the stall table. The third falls far to the right. One manages to bounce of one another prize

All of a sudden the game seems like nothing but an evil scheme to make people feel defeated. She aims again, this time it falls a meter away.

And Levi turns away to look elsewhere.

His shoulders quake and he presses his lips hard. Trying his hardest to contain the laughter that he’s about to burst into. She is hopelessly shitty when it comes to aiming.

“You only have 2 chances left ma'am,” the conductor pipes in.

“2?” She mutters in a saddened voice, and Levi’s ears perk up at that.

She throws away another ring, hopelessly. This one doesn’t even reach the table. And she raises her other hand up as well, wanting to throw away the last ring in sheer frustration. But Levi’s voice stops her.

“Mae, wait,” he calls out…

He walks forward and positions himself behind her. Slowly, he raises his arms up, and places his hands on hers. Moving them around and guiding her body into a better stance.

Her back presses into his chest. And she can feel his breath on the curve of her neck. “Just pretend like you’re holding on to it, and let me take the aim,” he whispers into her ears.

She nods, a little too flustered. He’s so close to her, she’s sure he can hear the rampant beat of her heart.

He guides her arm, his fingers grip the ring, right alongside hers. And then he tosses it away. And she just follows his hand, making it look like the both of them are aiming at the ring.

The ring rattles as it falls right on the designated place, with the strawberry pastry in its exact center.

A victorious grin spreads across her face. And Levi watches as a lovesick man as she picks up the strawberry pastry and brings it to him.

They start walking towards the other end of the fair. The commotion still lingers in the distance. but the number of stalls starts to visibly lessen.

A chilly wind blows, and Levi and Mae find a bench, a little away from everything.

The dusky sky has turned dark. And there’s a couple kissing in the distance, too lost in each other to give a damn about the world.

And Mae has finally accepted that her relationship with Levi might never be like every other one.

He’s lost more than he has loved. And in a few days he’ll be living far away from her too.

“Time is ticking by so fast isn’t it?” Her voice turns somber. She shifts a little closer to him, fighting back the tears in her eyes.

And Levi’s gaze falls down. He has nothing to say. Nothing to make the situation better. He’s scared that he’ll touch her and she’ll shatter at the strength his hand holds. That someday she will disappear and all his fears would come alive.

And his hand tremors, as he pats her head. Every moment he spends with her, fills him up with thoughts of losing her.

“I’m sorry.” the words come out of his mouth, barely audible. “I’m sorry…” he says again. “Only if I hadn’t fucked up, and made you quit your job at the Survey Corps.”

And Mae pauses for a minute, before she looks back at him

“It was hard Levi…but I think it was good. I had this version of you in my mind, that I admired and then shit happened and I didn’t know you anymore… I realize that I still don’t know you yet, but I think that's great, because I’m always learning about you. About your flaws, about what you think and how you feel. So at least I’m not loving what I think of you.”

Love… He doesn’t understand such heavy words… Nor does he know if he’s worth all the effort she puts into him? Slowly his hand reaches to hers, he gives it a gentle squeeze. The roughness of his fingertips, is contrary to the softness of her skin.

There is an unsaid apology in his actions.

So many things hold him back. Life hasn’t been kind to him. He wonders if the burden on his back will be lighter if he lets go of it?

Mae squeezes his hand back in response. A soft smile resting on her face as she adores him with her eyes.

She knows about his past now. And so she understands why the walls around his heart stand so strong. Hammered again and again and strengthened by every loss.

People give the love that they never received. For Levi, it was safety and security. It was coming to Trost multiple times, and finding her a safe house, before the Survey Corps leaves. It was supporting her financially even though he himself doesn’t make a ton of money.

He’s always kept her safety above everything. It was her who took it for granted, because unlike him, it was never something she had to fight for.

“You’re perfect to me.” Her words are like a balm on all his wounds. Lies but still soothing. Because Levi is by no means perfect.

He is a person who has killed and tortured countless people. Heck, he was close to using violence on her as well.

But to Mae, Levi is a person who had all the chances to become the worst person in the world, and yet he chose to be someone good.

She places her head on his chest. Hearing the stable beat of his heart;.

And for a doctor, who has heard millions of heartbeats, his is different. Even though it sounds the same. Because his heart is one that is unaffected by the bitterness of this world and the cruelty it has witnessed. It's a heart that can still care; a heart that can still love..

And Mae decides that she’ll love him no matter what.

The feeling of his fingers in her hair is familiar. Just like the smell of his freshly laundered clothes. And perhaps, there is finds hope in these fragile beginnings of love

━━━━━━━━━━━━

JUN 847

The Survey Corps headquarters doesn’t look as intimidating today. The walls look bleak, torches don’t light up the hallway anymore. And the chatter of the cadets is almost inaudible.

A few senior officers pass by in a hurry. Their hands filled with suitcases. And Mae watches from the side, as the life in the headquarters slowly dims away.

She extends her hand out, letting her fingers rover over the textured brick walls as she walks through the hallways.

It's a bittersweet feeling.

She remembers the days when she would work here. With Levi acting rude and cold, and Mr. Mendes was pestering her about marriage.

She was dying to leave this place back then, and now she stands here, not knowing when she’ll see this place again.

Time sure flies by quick, and a wistful smile tugs on her face.

Soon she reaches her location. The familiar door is slightly open as usual. She knocks and then pushes it open.

“Hange!,” she calls out. Their messy room almost looks clean today.

“Mae!,” they greet, adjusting their spectacles into place. They’re on the floor, with two huge suitcases that don’t seem like they are going to close.

“Having a hard time packing,” Mae chuckles.

“Yup I've got so much stuff… Mainly books, but other stuff too.”

“Welp, sadly I got some more stuff for you,” Mae keeps the carry bag in her hand on Hange’s bed. “It’s a gift.”

“The other one’s for Levi?” Hange questions, as she looks at the other bag hanging from her shoulder. “He’s staying at yours tonight, right? Oh! I completely forgot to congratulate you on your new house!” Their thoughts run too fast and they blabber. “Are you settled in yet?”

“Almost” Mae chuckles at the onslaught of questions. “Levi has been helping me move in, and we've bought basic furniture... He chipped in and helped me buy the place too. He didn’t want me staying in Jinae, when he wasn’t there.”

“So Levi will join us in two days… directly at the new headquarters?”

“Yes, Erwin permitted him to do so.”

“I’m glad!” Hange beams. “Everything is working out so well for you now! You’re living in a safer area, you have your own house and you also don’t have to work two jobs.”

“It is…” Mae replies. But there’s a sadness in her smile, and the tears forming in her eyes tell Hange otherwise.

“But you’re not happy are you?’ Hange gets up from the floor, and walks closer to Mae.

“It’s hard… You guys are moving away. I’ll miss you. I feel so defeated… I feel like whenever I take one step forward, life pushes me two steps back.”

They envelop her in a tight hug, rubbing her back to make her feel better. “Don’t worry Mae, when I start experimenting on Titans, you’ll be the first one to hear about it!”

“Hange,” Mae whimpers. “ Please take good care of him. He seems all mechanical and emotionless, but he is a really sensitive baby… And a lot of things affect him but he’s so used to putting on a tough front that he doesn’t realize any of it.….. I know he hasn’t opened up to you fully yet, but he will. And I have told him to come speak to you, when he wants to get things off his chest. Please protect his heart in my stead.”

And they wipe off the tears rolling down her cheeks. Flashing the warmest smile as they say, “I will protect your little guy with everything I have… alright?”

A shaky smile forms on her face, and she hugs them again. “Thank you.”

“Now go… kiss him goodbye.” They pat her back as they walk her to the door. “You have one night with him… do much more actually.” They wink.

“M-much more?,” Mae stammers. Her face heats up, turning beet red. “What noo! W-we haven’t kissed y-yet!”

And a hearty chuckle escapes Hange’s lips. “Gosh! You guys are slow, sometimes I wonder where this relationship would have been without me.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Levi sits next to the window, sipping the last remnants of the tea in his cup.

The bustle of Trost plays in the background like white noise. And his eyes scan through Mae’s new house.

It’s a 2-storey cottage. The walls are old, made of the same bricks that he sees in every other aged building. The rooms are tiny too, or cozy as Mae likes to call them. The doors creak once in a while. And the ceilings are so damn high, she’ll probably have to get on his shoulder to clean all the cobwebs.

They were out of time, and they didn’t have the money to buy her a better place. And in no way, was Levi going to let Mae stay in that metal shed, once he left.

The tea in his cup, nears its end. And his eyes land on the sketch Mae got of him and her at the carnival. It's framed, placed on the dining table. And he pauses, as the heavy feeling he was trying to forget fills up his heart once again.

The clock ticks, making every passing second audible. “Mae I’m leaving.” His voice booms through the walls.

“Coming,” Mae’s voice echoes from the floor above. And soon she’s rushing down the stairs, with a tote bag in her hand.

One look at him, and she freezes. The fact that he’s leaving hits her with full force. And she wonders what she’ll do here, in the house she thought she’d share with him? Without him.

Levi stiffens too. He pushes his chair back, and stands up.

He can tell she’s been crying. Dreading this moment, that now stands so close.

His hands get clammy. And her lips quiver as she walks closer to him.

They stand a foot apart now. And Mae takes a stabilizing breath, because Levi stands so close yet the idea of him seems so farfetched.

Her hand lands on his cheek, relishing the smoothness of his skin. She doesn’t know when she’ll see him next. Or whether she’ll see him all fine, or tarnished with bruises, doused in his own blood.

The thought breaks her will. Her neck falls down, heavy with the pain of separation. And the top of her head rests flat against his chest. Slowly her shoulders start to shake, trying to contain the sobs that are close to spilling.

She doesn’t want Levi to see her break down like this. Not when, it's the last time he’s seeing her for a month at least.

But Levi not only sees, he also feels what he’s feeling. All her pain hits him right in the heart.

It's going to be hard, not being able to see the person you see everyday. It's going to be hard to wait for letters when you are so used to hearing their chatter. And it's going to hit even harder when something joyful or depressing happens and there is no one to share your emotions with.

With all the gentleness, he lifts her head, cupping her cheek with tenderness.

“You know I’m going to visit you whenever it's possible, right?”

And Mae knows that’s not going to be frequent because Levi hardly finds time for himself. But somehow she still finds the strength to be optimistic.

“And you’ll write to me.” She places her hands over his chest.

“Yes, I will write to you, every week, no excuses,' He smirks fondly, recalling all the demands she made a few days prior. His lips press to her forehead, a kiss bestowed on it.

She brings the tote bag up to her chest. And her hands dig in, bringing a few glass bottles out.

“These are some spices and seasonings here, the food they serve at headquarters is very bland, and I don’t know how you have it. And food isn’t just for getting nutrients, but also for enjoying how it tastes.”

“Chamomile tea, Levi I know you don’t like it much, but it is fucking expensive and you sleep better with it, so you better have it.”

“Scented Candles, Lavender essential oil, you know what it's for…” Her sermon stops as she sees the last item in the bag. Slowly she brings it out, not too proud of it,

It’s a teddy bear. Tan in color and messily stitched.

But what catches Levi’s eye is the big baby pink heart on its chest. Matching the color of the small circles on its cheek. Its smile is wide, and its arms are broad and open.

“Umm,” Mae fumbles, a little conscious. “I also made you a teddy bear… thought you could hold it close, when you’re missing me.”

There’s a heaviness in the moment, but her love makes everything surprisingly sweet. And Levi finds the courage to pull her close. One arm around her waist, and the other holding her head close to his chest.

And in the safe enclosure of his arms, Mae breaks a little further.

“Do you e-ever regret it……. Being with me instead of Ivan?” Levi asks as he dotingly pets her head.

And Mae looks up at him, nodding her head in an instant.

“You are worth it.” she muffles against his chest

And Levi doesn’t know what she sees in him, or what he even has to offer. Nevertheless, he’s glad she’s blind when it comes to him. It makes his life so much better.

His thumb he wipes off the tear that slips down her cheek,

“I hope you don’t keep things within yourself, like you always do… Let me know when things are becoming too much for you..” Because as much as it would hurt to let her go, he would rather see her happier.

“Levi!,” She hits his chest.. “Don't say things like that. Instead, tell me that you’ll come meet me often.. I’ll wait for you… here. In our new house.”

His hand lands atop of her head, wanting to feel more of her than just her palm on his cheek. Fingers mingling around strands of her hair, as he ruffles them with fondness. There is a faint smile playing on his lips, hardly perceptible, but she knows it there when she sees his eyes, bright and sparkling.

I’ll wait for you too, always.

“You promise me you’ll take good care of yourself, and follow the routine I have set for you to sleep… And if something is bothering you, you go to Hange. I know you think of her as some loud freak who can’t keep a thing in her mouth, but she’s good with secrets. And she’ll never judge you okay.”

“Just like she kept our relationship a secret.” He retorts… as if he hasn’t vented to Hange about the relationship too.

Her face pales and she whines. “You’re going off topic.”

It gets silent for a second before Mae goes off again. “And remember to take breaks, and enjoy some times. Before Humanity’s Strongest, you’re a human who deserves to enjoy life too.”

And Levi caresses her head again, a small smile playing on his lips. “I promise, anymore demands you have to make?”

A slight pink tinges her cheeks. “Yes.” Mae bites her lip, and her gaze flicks to the floor, almost hesitant. ”I brushed my teeth thrice today.”

“Good,” he says a little cluelessly. “Do that every day.”

She huffs, looking straight into his eyes. Her brows are furrowed and all signs of her shyness are somehow gone. “I want to kiss you.”

Now it’s Levi’s turn to blush. “Y-you do…. I mean o-of course you-u…d-do” his voice trails off. All of a sudden he is unable to form a coherent sentence. It feels like all his brain functions have stopped and all he can do is nod his head timidly.

Mae steps closer to him and wraps her arms around his neck. She gets up on her tippy toes, as she tries to reach his lips. His heart accelerates as the distance between them lessens. The tips of their nose almost touch and he can feel her soft breaths tickling his skin.

All of a sudden he is hyper aware of everything happening in his body. From the budding heat in his cheeks, to the weakness he feels in his knees. He often wonders about what it is like to kiss, but now that it is actually happening, he can’t help but be flooded by insecurity.

His body turns static. And doubt fills Mae’s mind when she sees how rigid he is. Like the flame of a candle, against a breeze, her resolve is flickering, struggling to keep calm.

His eyes are boring into hers, wide and apprehensive.Her heart skips a beat, and she closes her eyes to run off from his intimidating ones. She leans closer and closer, until she feels something against her lips. But it's not lips…..it's skin?

Her eyes flash open and she finds her lips pecking the area under his nose

First hand, second-hand, every kind of embarrassment crams into her head. Mother of fucking god, what a disaster! She steps back, looking at Levi, to gauge his emotions,

His lips are wobbling, and he is horribly failing to contain the chuckle that is about to leave his mouth.

“You….you ,” laughter ripples past his lips, “have su-such a terrible a-aim.”

Her arms cross over her chest, eyes narrowing as she looks at him with a pout on her face. In an instant her hand flies towards his cravat, balling its fabric and pulling him down to her level.

In a millisecond, her lips are onto his.

And he freezes, his hands sticking to his side and profusely sweating.

Her lips are soft, almost cushion-like against his. Slightly they part encasing his lower lip. The slant of her nose is pressed right next to his. And the scent of her lavender lotion is all around him, aggravating the flapping butterflies that tumble in his stomach.

And Levi is sure that the only thing that is holding him still, is the warmth of her body, pressed against his. Anchoring him yet throwing him off the edge.

With her other hand, she strokes his jaw. Her fingers are as warm and as sweaty as his. And with a single touch, his doubts evaporate into thin air.

She can feel the fluttering of his lashes, until he finally shuts them close, and releases the breath he has been holding in since forever. His arms wrap around her waist and his lips start mingling with hers, moving subtly yet cluelessly.

Warmth blossoms in her chest, as she finally feels him responding , albeit awkwardly. She can’t help but smile.

He is trying, and he’s trying for her.

And soon he forgets about his clammy hands and the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Instead, he kisses her deeper, holds her tighter, so close that he can feel her heart thumping against his.

Their heartbeats harmonize. And for a fleeting moment, Levi forgets that he is going miles away from her. For a fleeting moment, everything feels right, and he realizes that he wants to stay here forever. In her arms, losing himself in her touches.

Slowly they part, foreheads pressed as they take a moment to catch their breath. Mae’s hand is still latched on to his cravat as her eyes flutter open.

Everything from the tip of Levi’s ears to the curve of his cheek is beet red. His eyes are still shut close, and his neck is slightly craned down, still in the same position in which they kissed.

Her lips twitch upwards at his cuteness.

“A terrible aim, huh?” A smug grin flashes across her lips.

And Levi’s eyes shoot open.

She is beaming with joy, his gaze falls upon the crinkle by her eyes, which forms only when she smiles that wide.

Her hands reach out to his rumpled cravat, as she fixes it for one last time. Every touch, however innocent it may be, stirs something deep in his heart. It awakens the desire to forget all about the titans and just settle down with her.

Picking up the bag with all his gifts, he walks towards the door. A minute longer and he might actually end up staying here forever .

“Bye Levi, take care.” Her words are sweet, but they leave a bitter taste in her mouth.

And all he can muster is a slight nod of his head, as he steps out of the door. All calm and aloof, except the tint of red on his face.

Right when he is about to turn and leave the alley, he twists back, and sees her figure. Now distant but still standing at the doorway.

His mind pushes back to how he has lost someone at every stage of his life. She’s living in Trost now, much closer to the titans. All it's going to take is one kick through the gate, and all his fears will come true.

The thought itself rattles something restless in his bones. He’s not here to protect her and he can only hope that she stays alive for him.

He waves at her. Until next time. Don’t die…..please.

More angst haha!

I feel like such an evil person sometime lol, but this is an AOT fanfic, so I wouldn't want to keep it all cherries and roses.

I lowkey feel like my writing style has completely changed. I'm writing shorter sentences now and keeping the wording simple too. I think it's easier to read through now, but let me know what you think about it...

Let me know what you guys thought about the chapter! As always constructive criticism is always welcomed!

Until next time! (which is hopefully soon🤞🤞🤞)

Taglist: @keijikunn @evas-leslas @leviackermanmyhero245 (message me if you want to be added)

8 notes · View notes

dogtheories · 1 year

Text

the weather keeps changing drastically every 20 minutes #just melbourne things

#soda.txt

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diorbabe66 · 2 years

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Hey babe so I got results..

I've been doing the I AM challenge for like a month now.

- my self concept has been improving every day,I don't spiral anymore and even when I have breakdowns ,which is not as regularly as before, I just affirm through it. I still manifest even though sometimes I have doubts.

- I have cancelled classes so many times. I'm in uni doing medical lab science and I've been cancelling a maximum of 3 classes every week. This is so easy for me even when my mindset was bad last year I still easily cancelled.

- cancelled clinical rotations for an entire semester. The managers at the hospital were so rude to us so I cancelled it. While manifesting this I cried alot had breakdowns everyday I spiralled and I still manifested. They also had extremely strict rules, we'd have to spend alot of money to meet their demands 😭 and I wasn't ready for that BS.

- I cured myself of amoeba and recently a cold. For amoeba every time I'd start feeling pain I'd just affirm I am god took me about 1-2 weeks and mind you I didn't go to the hospital or anything, I didn't even tell anyone I was sick. For the cold I just affirmed once I am god while holding my nose and the next day I was fully healed.

- changed the weather. I stopped rain by affirming I am god and 20 minutes later it stopped then affirmed for a warm weather and later in the day it was warm.

- good grades and being able to answer questions easily. So during exams I'd just affirm I am god and my grades have improved drastically and then during classes I tend to zone out so anytime the lecture thinks he's caught me off guard I easily answer the question. This one time at the lab we were making thin films and I still couldn't do it right but everytime I did it wrong I'd just say mine is perfect , I got this, so after a few trials I did it and both the lectures invigilating us said mine was perfect and then told me to do 3 more and they were all perfect.

- manifested a text from a friend, so I was feeling so lonely and affirmed a few times and she texted me.

- I want the intimidating kind of beauty and my roommate said I look angry.

- one of my friends always compliments me tells me how beautiful I am that she'd kiss me, and then another friend said she finds me sexy and she'd 🔞 me, I also came out to my text friend that I'm bi something I've never told anyone

- I've also been having dreams of my desires. I have been craving piercings and I dreamt of nipple piercings that I'm so obsessed with, nose and upper lip. So I'm dark skin and I've been obsessing over white tattoos and I dreamt of it though I don't exactly remember and then I saw a TikTok of this henna artist experimenting with lotion and it was exactly how I want the tattoo to be like.

- Manifesting lights back instantly.

- I've also been speaking up for myself lately. I just ask myself would god just keep quiet and let people walk over her, no then I should speak up. I also tell myself closed mouths don't get fed.

- I've been feeling sexy and I've been loving myself so much though it's not every day but I don't spiral or call myself ugly anymore. Right now I can look at myself in the mirror and love my body. I have hyperpigmentation but It doesn't bother me anymore. I tell myself I'm a divine feminine goddess in the mirror every day.

- I've also been able to visualize vividly which was completely impossible before. Though I don't visualize everything I just visualize me being in my skyrise apartment and that signifies that I have everything I want.

There's more but I've forgotten. I decided to stop cancelling classes every week and just manifest graduating I'm in my second year btw and I've been obsessing over the how but everytime I remind myself of all I've manifested and I regain the confidence in myself. I've also realized that I manifest more under pressure, like the clinical rotations one I had 2 days to manifest it and I still pushed through, cancelling classes I'd do it about 1-1/2 hour to class, I mean I easily manifest when in anxious, though not all the time.

Everytime I feel like I'm overcomplicating this I just remember the story of Neville being told by Abdullah that he is in Barbados. I have never read of Neville Goddard's works or even listened to his lectures but this story just feels right, I've also never read of any manifestation book because my attention span can't handle all those big big words. So every time I feel like I'm doing it wrong I just remember this and I think of me being in me apartment. I've also formed the habit of asking myself what I'd do today if I was living my dream life. So say today's a Monday of just wake up at about 9am in my very comfortable big bed make myself breakfast fit for a queen, have it in my large balcony that's facing a magical waterfall, then I'd take a shower in my en suite bathroom, for my fit of the day I go to Pinterest and whatever fit and jewelry pleases me I go with it, then I'd get a headache from deciding what car I'd take today, I don't have to carry money since I receive large sums of money every second, I go to a painting class just because, paint the most beautiful art 🎨 and having everyone compliment me knowing very much I do everything perfectly, maybe wine tasting after that or whatever and I get back to my apartment late night, take a shower, go to bed or maybe watch a movie or even star gaze thinking about how perfect I am. I'd end the day with saying I might go visit the water fall tomorrow and take a dip naked and then decide which tune I'll hum at the waterfall because the trees and animals deserve to listen to my magical voice and maybe I'll entrance a beautiful woman there with my voice, hmm to be a goddess roaming the earth and have everyone falling for me and having the unquenchable thirst to please me and only me in all ways😩.

Also can I be magical anon. I'll be giving more updates 💋.

OMG I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AHHHHHH AND YES U CAN

#magical anon #success story

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na-na-na-nanna · 3 years

Text

Catching Feelings

Part: six

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Wordcount: 5980

Pairing: goblin!Yoongi x reader

Warnings: cursing, drinking, smoking, kissing

Summary: Yoongi, a 700 year old goblin who has grown tired of his eternal excistence and wishes to become human, must gain all the human emotions before he can achive this, but the only way to do so is by kissing the humans who possess them

A/N: this got a lot longer than i planned, so i hope it’s not too boring. Also hope the shift in narrator won’t be too confusing. Anyways I’m a little nervous about this chapter

[20:28]

Yoongi had experienced human parties before, but to be frank it had been quite awhile. The last time was probably back in the Joeson era if he remembered correctly. At that time Jin had dragged him along, and forced him to partake in every human activity imaginable, and so he did. He drank their alcohol, sang their songs and played their games much to everyone else’s amusement. Yoongi didn’t particularly understand why his old friend and the humans he used to surround himself with wanted to dedicate so much of their mortal time doing such silly things, but then again he never really understood much about them to begin with.

“Which one of these say ‘I’m down to do it, but I’m not a slut?’” Yoongi was immediately snapped out of his trip down memory lane as Jungkook waved, what looked to him like, two identical black t-shirts in front of his face.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi answered truthfully.

The younger man was clearly unsatisfied with the lack of help and let out a big sigh before turning his attention to Jin.

“Same question,” He said, and Jin examined the two options that had been laid before him for a second before he let out a short “left one”.

For the next couple of minutes Yoongi just sat on the coach and quietly watched as Jungkook and Jin were bickering with one another over some expensive watch of Jin’s that Jungkook wanted to borrow for the party.

“You never let me borrow any of your stuff” Jungkook whined.

“That’s because they’re my stuff” The older one huffed in response.

“But you have so many, and you never go out,” Jungkook began to argue. “Don’t you think it’s a shame that no one gets to see them?”

“Not my problem,” Jin said without giving an ounce of care for what the boy had just said, and said boy knew he had lost yet another argument with his immortal master.

Jin had changed a lot since Yoongi had last encountered him, he had noticed, and he couldn’t figure out if it was simply just the passing time or if it was living in the human world that was the course of his drastic change of character. The great and beautiful Kim Seokjin, that Yoongi remembered from centuries ago, loved humans and would never pass on an opportunity to be around them. Back then Yoongi had struggled to understand Jin’s fascination with mankind, but had nonetheless always followed his friend's request to indulge in anything the human world had to offer.

It was strange how the tables had turned, and it was now Yoongi that was chasing after humanity while it seemed like Jin had left it behind. This change was truly strange, Yoongi thought, he could have sworn that Jin at some point even had a human…

“The car is ready for you now,” Jin said to the two party goers in his house.

“Sweet!” Jungkook exclaimed “I call shotgun”

[21:02]

The moment Yoongi and Jungkook stepped out of the car, the cold winter air hit them like a titlewave, and Jungkook was regretting his decision to wear the short sleeved shirt. He tried to hide the shiver that was taking over his body as two girls, which were also wearing outfits that did not seem to fit the weather conditions, walked by. It didn't make sense to wear so little clothing this time of year, Yoongi thought, and he wondered what could be the reason why humans choose to expose so much skin despite it being so impractical.

As the two girls passed them, Jungkook sent them a slight head nod followed by a cheesy smile, which immediately sent the girls into a fit of giggles. Once the girls were out of hearing distance Jungkook nudged Yoongi in the side with his elbow and with a smug smile on his face he said “See what I mean? A smile like that will make any girl’s knee weak”. Yoongi nodded as to show he had heard the information given to him, but he was still processing what actually to do with it.

“You should try it”

“Try what?” Yoongi asked.

“Try smiling for once,” Jungkook commanded “Like this” To demonstrate his face morphed into a big warm smile, almost textbook perfect. Yoongi studied his face for a bit before he tried to mimic the expression. He slowly opened his mouth to show off his teeth like Jungkook was doing. It seemed a little awkward, maybe he wasn’t showing enough of the inside of his mouth, maybe he needed to make the smile even bigger. And so he did, putting his gums on full display for anyone to see.

“Jesus Christ! What the hell is that?” Jungkook exclaimed in terror upon seeing the goblin’s miserable attempt at smiling.

“Am I not performing it accordingly?” Yoongi questioned his teacher.

“If your a bloody psychopath, maybe”

“So I am doing it correctly?”

“No that’s not what I meant,” Jungkook said, a bit frustrated. “Maybe you should just stick to not smiling for now. You know, go for the whole dark and quiet mysterious guy type of thing instead. Girls dig that too.” Yoongi didn’t really need the humans to “dig” him. He just needed them to be able to share their emotions with him, but he did like the idea of doing it quietly. He wasn’t so sure about the mysterious part though.

“You just let me do the talking, okay?”

“Okay”

Yoongi barely got to respond, not that he had much to say anyways, before Jungkook was dragging him into the apartment complex where the party was taking place. Even though it was still early in the evening the small apartment was filled to the brim with intoxicated humans who all looked to be enjoying themselves, at least Yoongi thought so. He had observed that humans were a fairly social species and liked to be around each other, even though it meant being packed together in limited spaces like this. This fact was also a mystery for Yoongi, but then again solitude had for the most part of his long life been the only thing he had known.

“Taehyung!!” Jungkook shouted from across the room. “Over here!” Once Jungkook had caught the attention of the man he was calling, said man made it through the crowd of people to where they were standing.

“Hey, good to see you man” the guy said as he pulled Jungkook in for a half hearted side hug. “Who’s your friend?” The guy shifted his focus to Yoongi.

“This is my friend Yoongi,” Jungkook introduced. “He’s new in town. Hope it’s okay I brought him”

“As long as he doesn’t break anything” Taehyung said, a little tense and probably referring to some of the other party attendees. It seemed like Taehyung stock out of norm and didn’t enjoy a lot of other people in a small space.

“Don’t worry. Yoongi is cool” Jungkook answered for Yoongi.

“Well, drinks are in the kitchen. HEY!! What are you? A caveman?” Some guy had now caught Taehyung’s attention. “Use a fucking coaster!”

“Guess you have your hands full,” Jungkook laughed.

“You have no idea,” Taehyung sighed “I’m literally going to kill Jimin after I teach this guy some etiquette” and just like that Taehyung was back in the midst of people slowly disappearing “Come on guys! The table is antique”

[21:43]

Yoongi was sitting alone on the couch next to a couple that were too invested in each other to even notice he was there, while Jungkook had gone to the kitchen to get them something to drink. Yoongi thought his seat on the couch was a good spot for observing the humans and maybe even spot one he himself could kiss, but he found it hard to concentrate due to the couple making out, which kept catching his eye. Maybe this was actually a good opportunity for him to learn about the way humans do kissing. The male was seated on the couch while the female was on his lap with her hands around his neck. The male’s hands were all over her, one minute they were in her hair, the next on her bare thighs or waist. The way the couple kissed was a lot different from the way the TV couples Yoongi had watched as reference did. The couch couple were much more engaged and almost animalistic in their movements and sounds. Yoongi had thought that the kisses he had seen portrayed in dramas were probably pretty accurate, but now he wasn’t too sure. He decided that the couch couple next to him was probably a better representation since they were not actors in a role. The both of them did seem to be very skillful.

“Hey creep!” Jungkook shouted as he returned with a drink in each hand. “Don’t drool on the carpet”

“I wasn’t” Yoogi corrected him as he received one of the drinks from him.

“Then stop perverting on them”

“I was just observing them,” Yoongi told him.

“Is what a pervert would say,” Jungkook joked.

[22:00]

“What about her?” Jungkook pointed at the crowd filled with dancing bodies. “She’s hot”

“I don’t think she’s what I’m looking for” Yoongi dismissed Jungkook’s suggestion.

“Are you for real?” Jungkook exclaimed. “Just look at her,” Yoongi took a closer look at the woman Jungkook was talking about. “She is definitely feeling it.” The woman in question was dancing closely with another guy to the rhythm of the song and seemingly enjoying the way all eyes were on her.

And Yoongi too caught himself staring at her for a bit longer than he did the other humans around him. Could she maybe be the one to make him feel?

“And then he left me!” A loud female voice sobbed from across the room and managed to steal Yoongi’s gaze away from the woman dancing.

Even to Yoongi it was clear that the woman crying was extremely upset and therefore also extremely emotional, Yoongi thought.

“I have to go after him” she cried out to her friend who was trying to console her. She was headed towards the door, and Yoongi couldn’t let an opportunity like this slip through his finger, so without much thought he ran through the crowd determined not to lose sight of the crying girl. This resulted in him taking a few hits as he made his way through the sea of people, but because he was so focused on reaching the girl in time, he didn’t notice who he bummed into.

[22:40]

“Do you think she could have gone home?”

“I think that’s very likely,” Jungkook said. “We’ll probably have much better odds at finding another girl crying her eyes out in Tae’s bath room, besides it’s fucking freezing out here”

“You go in,” The older said. “I’m just gonna take a few more rounds around the block”

“Suit yourself, pal,” Jungkook gave Yoongi a pad on his shoulder before he began running towards the building entrance.

Yoongi then began walking again, looking at every bypasser to see if it was the one that he was looking for. He eventually made his way to a convenience store where a young couple were standing closely up against one another.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” the guy said. “I’ll never do it again”

“You promise?” the girl said with teary eyes.

“Yes, I promise” The two of them now began kissing as well, and this time it looked exactly like in the k-dramas. Once again Yoongi was left not knowing how this act between two people was supposed to be performed, but he knew that the girl had stopped crying and it would therefore no longer make sense for him to also lock lips with her.

Yoongi began heading back to the building where the party was, hobing it wasn’t too late for him to find a human to kiss. He was about to cross the road when he noticed a woman walking in his direction. It looked like she was coming right at him, and the closer she got to him, the more apparent the look in her eyes became, a look Yoongi had never seen displayed on any human before.

[17:05]

“Y/N!” The sudden knock on the bathroom door almost caused you to slip in the shower stall out of surprise. You had gone straight to Teahuyng’s apartment after class in order to help him get ready for the night, on the condition that you could shower at his place. “I need you to go to the store with Jimin.” Taehyung's voice came from the other side of the door. You turned off the water which you immediately regretted now that your body was missing the warm embrace it was providing.

“Jimin is a big boy. Why do I need to go with him?” You complained, wishing desperately that you could stay in the shower until you had used all of Taehyung’s hot water.

“Because we both know that this big boy will end up only buying booze and forget all the practical stuff,” Taehyung argued. “Oh and you have the best taste in snacks”

“Aghh fine,” you sighed in defeat. “Just give me 10 minutes and I’ll be out, okay”

[17:26]

Even though you had borrowed Taehyung’s sweats for your quick trip to the store, you still found yourself clinging to Jimin’s left arm in hopes of stealing some of his warmth.

“Why are you only clingy when you gain something from it?” Jimin said with annoyance as you still hung off of him as you entered the store.

“Survival of the fittest, baby” you sent him a teasing smile, which he returned with an eye roll and an attempt to push you off, but you were stubborn and stronger than you looked, and if Jimin didn’t wanted to cause a scene right in the middle of the supermarket, he would have to let you stay right where you were.

As expected Jimin steered the two of you in the direction off the alcohol aisle first thing. You didn’t have much say in which and the amount of bottles Jimin so carefully picked out from the shelves with his free hand.

“This should do it,” Jimin finally said proudly after almost 15 minutes of picking and choosing.

“You do know that Tae only agreed to a small gathering, right?” You asked your friend in disbelief.

“Yes, but what’s the fun in that?” he said with a mischievous grin growing on his face.

“He is going to kill you” you tried to warn him, but Jimin seemed to care more about making this night one to remember (or rather forget) than his potential murder.

You knew there was no point in trying to talk some sense into Jimin so you just shrugged your shoulders and said “Whatever. It’s your funeral”

Once you made your way to the snack aisle of the store, it was now your turn to be in charge of what needed to be selected, which by the way was just as important as the liquor. You knew that the difference between a good party and a great party was the snacks, no doubt about it, so you always took your time when deciding which ones would be the perfect choice for the maybe not so small celebration of Taehyung. Chips was always a safe choice, everyone likes them and they won't leave you full but they’ll still be satisfying nonetheless. Now what flavours to choose? You knew it was always a good idea to have something with a lot of salt, so the sea salt flavoured ones would be the smart choice to go with, but personally you found them so boring. Popcorn was a much better option for a salty snack.

“Jimin, can you grab the popcorn for me?” Jimin did as you commanded and threw the box into the already filled shopping cart. Okay, back to choosing chips flavours. Your personal favourite was sour cream & onion, though controversial, but you had to admit it was hard to find a good dip to go with it. Maybe you should just stick to the classic that was cheetos.

“What do you think? Sour cream & onion or cheetos?” You asked for guidance.

“Uhm Y/N…”

“You’re right. We should just take boht” you said and grabbed the two bags of chips with your left hand from the lower shelf.

“What? No that’s not it” Jimin stammered hesitantly. When you looked up and in the direction of Jimin’s gaze, you understood why. On their way into the aisle, was your fuck buddy, or ex fuck buddy, with his other fuck buddy turned girlfriend holding his hand. You immediately made eye contact with Johnny and suddenly became super aware of the way you were still clinging to Jimin’s side. You tried to distance yourself from him, but it was now Jimin’s turn to not let go of you.

“Hey guys” Jisoo said in a cheerful tone as she and Johnny made their way over to you and Jimin. “Wow That’s some party you’re throwing” she giggled as she noticed the interior of your shopping cart.

“Oh yeah” you said “Taehyung got an internship so we’re celebrating. You should come”

“No we wouldn’t want to tag along” Johnny said for the first time.

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t. Right Jimin?” you looked to your friend for back up.

“Uhm sure,” he said “The more, the merrier”

“Okay, see you there then” Johnny sent you one last awkward smile before he and Jisoo went back to their own shopping.

[17:45]

“Now why would you invite them?” Jimin asked in all seriousness once you left the store.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you asked, trying to sound surprised by his question. “Johnny and Jisoo are cool, and I’m sure you’ve already invited a dosin of people”

“Yeah but they’re not my ex”

“Johnny is not my ex, though” you corrected him.

“You know what I mean,” Jimin said annoyed.

“So if you and I stop messing around, would you want me to not invite you to parties anymore?” you said teasingly.

“Shut up. You would miss me to much”

“In the bedroom or at the parties” you questioned him with a growing grin on your face.

“Both” he said confidently, and rightfully so. “But don’t you think it will be awkward?”

“It’s only awkward if we make it awkward” you told yourself.

“And you’re not the slightest bit jealous?”

“I’ve told you I’m not”

“You’re a fucking ice queen, you know that?” Jimin laughed at your seemingly lack of any human emotions.

“It’s one of my biggest virtues” you smiled at him.

“Except this ice queen is very bothered by the cold,” he joked before pulling you into his space again making sure you were warm.

[19:13]

“Is that what you’re wearing?” It slipped out of Taehyung when you stepped out of the bathroom where you had gotten ready. You looked down at the outfit you had brought with you from home and didn’t see why Taehyung would question it.

“Yeah, why? Anything wrong with it?” You asked.

“No, nothing wrong with it. It’s just a lot,” he clarified. “Or less, I guess” he grinned. You suppose he was right, but you had worn similar outfits in the past. The short skirt, showing of your legs and the skin tight top hugging your curves was nothing new.

“Yeah I know” you said “It’s kinda the whole point”

“Gonna show Johnny exactly what he’s missing” Jimin chimed in. Jimin wasn’t entirely wrong, but you were never going to admit that and it wasn’t like you had planned to run into him at the grocery store.

“No,” you said firmly “I picked this outfit out way before I knew Johnny was gonna be here”

“Johnny’s coming?” Taehyung asked with both a confused and concerned look on his face.

“And Jisoo,” Jimin said.

“Seriously!?” Taehyung whined “I told you guys not to invite friends”

“Whatever grandpa,” Jimin dismissed Taehyung’s words. “So tell me Y/N, if you’re not planning on making Johnny boy jealous, why the outfit then?”

“I always wear things like this” you tried to defend yourself.

“Yes, but not in the middle of winter, you don’t” Namjoon’s rational self joined the conversation that was unfolding. You were taken aback by Namjoon’s sharp optivational skills and searched your brain for a clever comeback or a perfectly rational reason for your decision to wear the revealing outfit, but nothing came to mind.

“I-l” you stammered “I don’t have to tell you anything” you said in defeat, knowing all too well that your friends would never let it go until you in fact told them.

“Let me guess then,” Jimin said with a devil-like expression on his face. “You plan to find Johnny’s replacement tonight” Fuck, you didn’t even realized that was what you were doing when you picked out what to wear. Why did Jimin have to know you better than you knew yourself at times?

Jimin took your silence as a sign that he had been right on the money. “Am I not enough for you?” he said, faux offended. “I’m hurt”

“Will you just shut up!” you exclaimed at his annoying teasing.

[21:26]

Hobi was a saint, that much you knew, and he had made it his life mission to make sure that you were okay, and tonight that meant never leaving your glass empty, especially everytime you would run into Johnny and Jisoo. Hobi would try to steer you in the opposite direction saying either you or he needed a refill. You appreciated your friend’s efforts to spare your feelings, but it really wasn’t necessary, you were fine. You had no reason to be anything but. You didn’t want what Johnny and Jisoo had, and you knew you could never give that to Johnny, so it was a good thing that they had found each other, you truly believed that. You tried to explain this to Hobi, but he still looked at you with pity in his eyes.

“Seriously Hobi, I’m fine” you reassured him “The only thing a feel is sorry for the poor guy trapped next to them on the couch as they make out” you sent Hobi the biggest smile you could plaster on your face to really convince him that everything was just fine. Hobi seemed to finally buy your words as he grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to the living room that had become the unofficial dance floor. The amount of people in Taehyung’s small apartment made it difficult to fully unfold on the dancefloor, so you and Hobi opted for a more grinding close up at each other kind of dance.

This was nice, you had fun and was drunk off your ass, something you probably wouldn’t be able to do if you were in Jisoo’s position. You wondered if Jisoo would get jealous if she caught Johnny looking at you like this. You glanced over, and, wow, they were still going at it on the coach. Did they even care that there were others around them? Probably not. That was how it was to be in love. For a second you couldn’t help but think that it could have been you on Johnny’s lap if you had let him get close to you, blissfully unaware of your surroundings. It looked nice though, but no, that was not what you wanted. You liked your freedom and you liked simple, and one thing you knew was that once you gave that part of yourself, things stopped being simple. You liked how things were, and maybe you just needed someone new to remind you of that. That guy in the corner had been staring at you for a while now, not that you could blame him. You tried sneaking in a few glances at him to see if he was your type without being too obvious about it. You couldn’t get a proper look at him, but it didn’t really matter since he had this weird energy around him, which told you everything you needed to know about him.

“What are you doing?” Hobi had noticed the way your dancing now seemed a lot more calculated from only moments prior.

“7 o’clock” you whispered to him.

“What are you talking about?” Hobi asked over the music.

“The guy in the corn…” Wait where did he go? You looked around, your eyes searching through the room when your eyes landed on a moving silhouette who was charting towards you. Oh shit, he had finally gathered his courage and decided to come talk to you. “Okay stay calm,” you told yourself “you’re the ice queen, remember”. You straightened your back and pushed your chest slightly forward ready to show this guy exactly who he was up against.

“Hi, I-“ you were cut off before you could even get to the verb of your planned sentence. The guy had just walked straight past you, and bumping into your shoulder in the process. The fuck! Who did he think he was? Even if you had completely misinterpreted his intentions, the least he could do was apologize for the shoulder injury he had coursed in the collision.

“Man down. I repeat, man down” Jimin was dying of laughter because of the scene that had just unfolded in Taehyung’s living room. Seriously, why did Jimin’s annoying ass had to see you fail so miserably. You knew he would never let this go.

[22:56]

Upon your failure and the intense dancing session with Hoseok, you had lost most of your energy, and your feet and legs felt heavy. It seemed like Johnny and Jisoo had decided to move their make out session to somewhere more private since the couch was now all abbonned, and you saw a unique opportunity to get to sit down.

Like a sack of potatoes you fell into the soft cushions followed by Hobi, and for a brief moment you closed your eyes and leant back, but the moment soon passed as you could feel a pair of concerned eyes on your face. You forced your eyes to open again, and they of course were met with Hoseok’s.

“Are you okay?” he asked for the hundredth time that night.

“Yes, I just need to relax for a bit” you told him truthfully.

A cheeky smile appeared on your friend’s face “I might actually be able to help you with that” You looked at him with confusion painted on your face “Uhm okay that sounds kinda sketchy” Hoseok didn’t seemed to mind your weariness as he began to search the insides of his pockets.

“Tada!!” he cheered excitedly as he held out a neatly rolled blunt in front of your face. “This should do the trick”.

You didn’t normally smoke and the couple of times you had, it had been with Hobi. Both times you had been a giggling mess, which now that you thought about it wouldn’t be too bad. You could also need the relaxed and warm feeling you had experienced the other times you had gotten high.

“Fuck it,” You finally said. “You got a lighter?” But as Hobi fumbled after one, a dark looming figure appeared behind you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Shit! You jumped in your seat and nearly kicked over the bottles that were placed on the small coffee table.

“Uhm… N-nothing” you managed to stutter even though the evidence of what you were planning was still on full display in the palm of Hoseok’s hand.

“For fuck sake!” Taehyung exclaimed. “Do you want me to lose my depositum?”

“No,” Hoseok chimed in. “But don’t be such a party pooper. She needs this” The death glare Taehyung sent Hobi shut him up immediately.

“I’m so fucking stressed” he whined “But please just go outside” he almost pleaded. You would have felt sorry for him, but then you remembered he had made you go to the store with wet hair, something that was still causing you to shiver.

“But Tete it’s freezing outside” You tried to convince him, but there was no use in trying as he coldly responded with a “Not my problem.” And that was how you found yourself outside on the sidewalk in your miniskirt in the middle of winter trying to get high. Your hands were shaking as you tried to guide the blunt to your lips, which made it way more difficult than it needed to be. This made Hobi, who had just passed it to you, laugh uncontrollably. You found yourself starting to laugh along with him since it kinda dawned on you how ridiculous this whole situation was and how much of a fool you had made of yourself in the span of this night.

“What are you two maniacs laughing at?” Jimin and Namjoon had gone outside as well to get some fresh air, Jimin with some drunk girl under his arm and Namjoon with his red solo cup in hand.

“Y/N she’s,” Hobi said between giggles. “She’s fucking saking”

“Facts!” You yelled.

“You really should have worn something else” Mr. Know-it-all-Namjoon said.

“I know, I know, I’m a dumbass” you admitted.

“Yes you fucking are,” Jimin said “Want to borrow my jacket?” You looked him up and down before making eye contact.

“Won’t your friend be cold?” You referred to the girl haning to his side.

“Mhm…” He looked down at the girl. “You cold, baby girl?”

“No, daddy” she said with a sweet voice, and you couldn’t help but blur out a “Ew” upon hearing her nickname for Jimin.

“Someone’s in a bad mood,” Jimin teased. “And I bet it’s not entirely because of the cold” You knew he was referring to your brutal rejection in the living room.

“Listen the guy was in a hurry, okay,” you began to defend yourself. “If he wasn’t, he would have been all over me”

“You sure about that?” Hoseok annoyingly joined the conversation.

“Yes, not that it matters anyways. He was fucking rude. Lucky he got away before I could give him a piece of my mind.” You said seriously.

“Guess it’s your lucky day, then” Namjoon said and pointed to somewhere across the streets, and everybody’s heads turned to see what he had meant by his statement. You squeezed your eyes trying to see more clearly who it was standing alone on the other side of the street across from you. Something about the unidentified silhouette somehow drew you in, like a special energy. Wait a minute, it was him! The guy from earlier. Seriously, what were the changes?

“Now’s your chance,” Jimin dared you. Why did he have to know exactly how to get under your skin. You couldn’t stand to lose face once more that evening, so before you knew it you were crossing the street. And to be honest you were ready to go tell this guy exactly who he had been oh so rude to. On your way over you were gearing yourself up and practically fuming when you finally reached your destination, but that all disappeared once you found yourself standing face to face with the stranger and all the things you had planned to say in your head was completely gone the second the stranger had captured you with his gaze. He didn’t say or do anything, just looked at you, awaiting your first move.

“I-I uhm.. You” you stuttered trying to go somewhere with your words, but the man in front of you didn’t let you.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked abruptly which caught you off guard.

“What?” Were you hearing this correctly or were you just hearing what you wanted to hear.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” he asked nonchalantly. Was he really being serious, or was he just being a jerk like earlier? Your better judgement told you it was the latter, but you still found your body leaning in closer and closer to the man.

“Okay” you agreed mindlessly as you closed the gap between the two if you as he placed his hand on your cheek and began to move his lips gently over yours. As he did so, you were passively taking everything in, enjoying being kissed on the sidewalk on a winter's night by a stranger who seemed to know exactly how to use his lips. You rested your own hands on his slim waist, slightly tugging at his jacket, while you began to reciprocate his kiss. He tasted so deliciously, it made your head spin, and before you knew it you were eagerly kissing him back with everything you got. His lips parted ever so slightly and you felt both greedy and bold, and seized the opportunity to sneak your tongue passed his lips. He followed your lead perfectly as both of your tongues entangled themselves with one another. The contact with his tongue send a shiver down your spine nonetheless, but weirdly enough ever since you had entered his space, you had stopped shivering from the cold, a first for the night, and now the only thing that made you shiver was the warm bubbly feeling you felt inside every time his tongue would grace yours, making you muffle soft moans against his mouth. His kiss was intoxicating and addictive, and you just couldn’t get enough of it, and to your surprise, you were so desperate for more, but somehow you didn’t care to try and hide the fact. For some reason he had this power over him that made you lose all senses and better judgement.

The kiss was getting sloppier now as you found it hard to control yourself with him, but when he put his hand on your hip, you almost lost it completely as your skin was practically burning under his touch. Who was this guy, seriously? And why did he have the ability to get you this rilled up merely from just kissing? You didn’t care enough to break from his lips to ask, you just drank in every last bit of him, dreading the moment you would have to let go of him. He must be some kind of god of kissing to have you feel this way, since kissing was normally your least favourite part. It was more times than not just something to get out of the way before moving on to something more daring. This was so unlike you.

In a perfect world you wouldn’t have to let go of him, but you had to break from his lips to catch your breath, and as you pulled away from each other a string of saliva was still connecting you. Neither of you said anything, and Yoongi was looking at you like he was trying to solve a code. All of a sudden you felt shy under his intense stare as if you hadn’t just sucked his face.

Yoongi was the first one to break the silence. “Nothing,” he blurted out.

“I’m sorry, what?” you asked.

“I felt nothing,” he sounded disappointed. ”Just now”. And just like that you were back to being cold.

You opened your mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out, and much to your surprise he stripped himself of his jacket and placed it over your shoulders. “Here, this is better” he said matter of factly before he turned on his heel and started walking away without another word, leaving you dumbfounded. You would probably have stood like that until the sun came up if you hadn’t been pulled back to reality by the sound of your long forgotten friend’s laughter from across the street. This was really a miserable ending to a just as miserable evening.

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hans-alter-ego · 3 years

Text

Tom Holland Commission

(Not my gif)

Note: So here we are for part 2!! I'm excited to see what everyone thinks!! only 3 more parts left!!

Part 1

Warnings: Swearing, sexual thoughts, mentions of sex, alcohol, alcohol misuse, fluff, just a lot of drinking this time around.

Wordcount: 10k

If Love Had A Plan – Part 2

Tom

Don’t you see what you do to me?

Apparently, I do not

If only you could

My eyes burn as I look at my phone screen. For about 20 minutes, I’ve watched y/n go from typing to nothing, to typing again. And now it just says read. It’s almost 10 O’clock at night. I should just put my phone away and get to sleep. I shouldn’t be worrying about whether or not she replies. But I can’t stop myself from taking a peek every five minutes just in case she’s responded. I groan to myself and lay back on my bed. I spent most of the day at home, mulling through thoughts. Harrison came by at around seven thirty, he called out for me, but I didn’t feel like seeing him. It was a dick move, but I needed some space. He didn’t do anything wrong, if anything he made me open my eyes a little bit more. I think I hear my phone ding and quickly check it. Nothing. Just got to bed

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Reader

I wonder what it’s like

What do you mean?

What it’s like to live life the way you do

Hard… and sometimes it’s awful

I couldn’t function. I could barely get myself to sleep last night. The whole night, I was thinking of a reply. I typed out so many then deleted every word I thought of. He remembered who I was? But that made me question how he got to my Instagram. Then again, he was Tom Holland, he probably always got whatever he asked for… so he asked for me? I groan to myself before grabbing my coat to keep me warm in this autumn weather. To have things even more confusing, I had to go meet Leo in about 15 minutes and all my brain could think of was Tom Holland. And I knew that he was the thought that kept me up all night

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You seem very—distraught, y/n. Everything alright?”

Leo’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. Did I zone out? Oh my god we’re almost at work already, was I not paying attention at all? I blink a few times and join back into the conversation.

“Sorry I—just some random things going on ignore my stupidity”

He chuckles

“I doubt one would call it stupidity y/n. Need to talk about it? I’ve heard I can offer quite the relief of mind”

This time it was my turn to laugh, so much so that I did not even notice how my hand went to Leo’s arm. A light touch that I instantly recognised. I retract my hand and cough, straightening myself up before Leo walks a few steps ahead to open the door to the office. I thank him and we both continue walking in step.

“It’s nothing too drastic Leo, just me overthinking too much”

“If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me”

Leo once again, lets his eyes rest on me and flashes me a smile before walking towards his desk area. Though I was glad to be walking with him, it felt like I could breathe now. The way he looks at me is enough to make my whole face feel hot, but all I could think about was how the hell would I reply to Tom. My eyes begin searching for possibly the only person in this office who could help me. Then I rush towards her.

“Well good morning y/n—whoa!”

I take Cara by her arm and drag her to my desk, before sitting down.

“Someone’s frisky today”

“Cara I’m in need of some serious advice that could possible fuck over a lot of things if not done correctly”

“Oh!”

She blinks a few times, comprehension on her face before a corner of her lips tugs upwards into a smile. She adjusts her glasses and gets comfortable.

“Okay. Sure. What’s up?”

I take a deep breath in and when I speak, I make sure to keep my voice down

“Tom Holland DM’d me”

“OH MY GOD!”

She basically startles the whole office, I’m quick to put a hand over her mouth and pull her closer to me to keep her quiet.

“Shh! Keep your voice down”

I hush her then look around the office, Leo’s looking right at us with a raised eyebrow. I smile at him and turn my attention right back to Cara.

“This isn’t news I want to get out”

“Sorry”

I sigh. Maybe telling Cara wasn’t the best idea. Though she was an expert when it came to social media interactions. I could just ignore his message. There’s no real reason as to why I need to reply to Tom’s message… but it’s Tom Holland… why wouldn’t I reply to him? And if I’m honest I was just more curious as to why he decided to message me.

“Okay. He messaged me after work yesterday, but I didn’t see it till I was on the tube. I don’t know what to say or do. If anyone finds this out it’ll blow up and that’s the last thing I want right now”

I can see the wheels turning in Cara’s head already. I just hope I make a good enough choice.

“Well first of all, I’m fucking jealous. Secondly, trying so hard not to scream right now. But in all seriousness, show me the message and we can see what an—appropriate response would be”

“Cara, you are a life saver”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tom

Sooner or later, things like this end up with someone crying…

Unless you’re crying with happiness, I don’t want you talking like that

But it’s true

How do you know?

I’ve seen it…

During my morning workout, I was more distracted than ever. Every noise had me checking my phone like some maniac. Every ding from one of the gym machines had me open up Instagram to see if she replied yet. But I tried to stay focused, keeping to the punching bag, focusing on each and every punch. By the end of my session, I was so drenched with sweat I’m surprised I didn’t slip out of here.

I went home soon after, when I walked through the front door, I could hear what sounded like cups and cutlery clanging together. I followed the noise into the kitchen to see Harrison making himself some breakfast. There was a pan on the stove already, a bowl with whisked eggs in it and the kettle was just rumbling away as it boiled. I still had a bit of resentment for what Harrison had said yesterday, but I know that I should just tell him that he was right. He was my best friend, and I shouldn’t be mad at him.

“Morning…”

My voice croaks as I speak. Harrison barely flinches or reacts, but I can see how his shoulders are tense.

“Morning”

That was it. I didn’t know what else to say to him, so I go to the kettle and grab two mugs down from the cupboards.

“Tea or coffee?”

I ask, not really looking his way. Harrison drips the whisked eggs into the pan, and it sizzle

“Coffee”

I get the instant coffee from the counter and make it how he always has it, not too strong but not too weak, before making my own. By the time I’m done, it seems that Harrison has made himself an omelet. I grab a banana from the fruit bowl and pick at the peel. There’s an eerie silence that I really don’t like. It’s not uncommon, if we argue then sure this happens but I still don’t like it.

“About yesterday—”

We both say in unison. For a moment I almost want to laugh, it seems that Harrison had the same thought too.

“You first”

I say, taking a sip of my coffee. Honestly, I should be thanking Harrison, because if hadn’t managed to piss me off by what he said I wouldn’t have gone home and decided to message y/n.

“Alright—I know what I said was a fucking asshole thing to say. I shouldn’t have brought that up. I know more than anyone how shit you feel with stuff like that so. I’m sorry. It was uncalled for, and I was trying to pull it off as a joke but that’s not something to joke about”

I wasn’t really expecting a full out explanation like this. Now I just wish we had spoken when he came home last night so then we could’ve gotten our sorry’s out of the way and he could’ve helped me with writing a message to y/n. What I wrote was a disaster. No wonder she hasn’t replied.

“No Haz, I should be saying sorry. You were right with what you said, it’s just me being the one who can’t actually see that so… in a way thanks? It definitely made me think about a lot of things”

I look at him and see that he’s a bit confused. I decide to just tell him what I did last night.

“I messaged y/n”

“Oh..! uh. And?”

“No reply yet”

“Shit”

“It was a pretty shitty message. If you weren’t being such a prick you could’ve helped me write a better one”

That cracks a laugh from him, which makes me laugh. Now that that’s all behind us, maybe I can move forward somehow.

“Like I said, you’d be lost without me”

Harrison drinks from his cup and chuckles to himself again

“Let’s see it then. What did you write while you were unsupervised”

Harrison extends his hand out over the table, palm up waiting for me to give him my phone. I begin to take it out of my pocket when I feel it buzz. When I look at the screen, I feel my heart drop and my eyes go wide.

“What?”

That heart racing feeling comes back with a punch as I say

“She messaged me back”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Reader

I told you this would happen

And what’s so bad about this?

Everything! I’m not meant for this life

What are you saying?

This is your life… not mine.

I see the green light next to his profile picture and almost throw my phone. Cara waits anxiously next to me, bobbing her leg up and down. I see him type and I hold my breath

“Did he see it?”

“Yes”

“Did he reply”

“He’s typing now”

My heart jolts and my hands are quick to hide my phone when I hear Leo’s voice from above me and Cara

“Who’s typing now?”

He asks, trying to take a peek. But my phone has already been shoved into my pocket. In that moment I almost wanted to yell at Leo to get away but luckily for me, Cara has a mouth of her own.

“Eavesdropping again Leo? Didn’t I tell you that’s just rude”

“First of all, I wasn’t eavesdropping okay. You two don’t know how to whisper”

My cheeks go red, I hope he didn’t hear all of what we were talking about. My phone vibrates and I check it immediately. Leo scoffs then walks away mumbling something

“At least learn how to whisper”

“I heard that!” Cara yells back

I read the message and can’t help but feel excited.

(10:30am) TomHolland2013: ‘I’m glad you responded. I know you work during the week so I was thinking we could do something on Friday night?’

Friday night. I would be seeing Tom Holland on Friday night. Well, that’s if I say yes. I should. Just to say I’ve done it. But the idea of being seen with Tom… if word were to break out, there would be cameras and blog posts and people going after me on Instagram. Suddenly I feel panicked. Tom was an actor. A super famous one at that, and I was just… well me.

“What did he say!”

I hand Cara the phone and let her read the message, she all but almost squeals in her seat. I could see the excitement make her cheeks glow.

“Y/n. this is unreal! You have to say yes!”

If I say yes, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… but there would be a chance that I’d be seen as some girl that Tom Holland took out on a date. Wait is this a date?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tom

You’re so beautiful…

I don’t think anyone’s said that the way you do

And how do I say it?

With all your heart

“Looks like you have a date this Friday”

“It’s not a date Haz—”

“Well then what is it?”

I catch my tongue before I reply. I wasn’t too sure. In a way it kind of was a date, but it also wasn’t. I didn’t ask her out for a date, I asked her if she was free Friday night to do something which could be doing anything. I just hope that when Friday does come around that I don’t fuck it up.

“It’s two grown people hanging out—casually”

“Uh huh”

I roll my eyes and send my message to y/n.

(10:41am) Me: ‘Nice, maybe we can plan something on the night. I’ll meet you near your work and we could just walk for a bit first then maybe grab a drink. Does 5pm work for you?’

(10:42am) Y/n: ‘Sounds like fun. I finish work at 4:30 so that should be fine’

(10:42am) Me: ‘See you then’

I put my phone down and exhale. Harrison is shaking his head as he stands up from his chair, plate, and cup in tow.

“See, wasn’t that easy?”

“Yeah, that’s the word for it”

I sigh to myself. Technically this was the easy part. The hard part would be deciding what to do on Friday. And a walk through the city after 5pm would only be a good idea for the first ten minutes… then you would get cold… and people would probably start to recognise me. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. With most girls, I’d be meeting them at a club or someplace where I wouldn’t be so easily spotted. Alcohol would be flowing through me so my nerves wouldn’t get the best of me. But right now… I actually had to plan on what I wanted to do with y/n

“Uhg why did I say I’d see her after work”

“Because you panic under pressure”

I glare at Harrison.

“What? I’m being an honest, supportive friend”

I roll my eyes then stand up from my seat, the sound of the chair scraping on the floor.

“Where are you going?”

“Took a long, long shower. I need to think some things through”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The week went by in a flash and before I knew it, it was Friday… then the hours began to tick down. I started my day as usual. I woke up early, went to the gym with Harrison, had breakfast then cleaned up. And now I’m sat in my bedroom still wondering what the hell I was going to do tonight. I could take her to dinner? Would that be too forward? What if she wasn’t the “go to dinner” type? In all honesty, I just wanted to talk to her… to get to know her. I stare at my ceiling, feeling the rise and fall of my breath. It was a strange feeling. The feeling of being giddy and nervous and excited all at the same time. It was new… and I like it. I smile to myself and clear my head just as I hear the alarm on my phone go off. It was 4pm already… which meant I had to set off now. I rise from my bed and give myself a second look in the mirror. Simple shirt, pair of jeans and some trainers. I’d make sure to take a hoodie with me just in case it gets chilly. Then I went to get my keys before heading out. I pass Harrison on the way to the front door, a smug smile already on his lips

“Well you cleaned up nicely”

“I just hope I don’t fuck it up”

Harrison places his hand on my shoulder and gives it a light squeeze

“You got this Tom. Just don’t overthink it and you’ll be fine”

I take in a deep breath and exhale, then I was out to the busy streets. The sun was just about gone, giving the city a wonderful blue glow. I put my headphones in and walk to the Marvel studio. I couldn’t help but look at my phone constantly just in case y/n had messaged me to say she couldn’t make it… for some reason. It’ll be fine

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Reader

Don’t try to be Mr Big Shot

I’m not

Then stop telling me what’s right and what’s wrong, this isn’t what I wanted

Then what do you want?

I don’t know…

4:25pm. I was in the bathroom at work, changing into something that was a bit nicer than my usual work attire. I had spent the whole morning texting Cara about what I should bring into wear. She critiqued almost every outfit until I pulled out a burgundy mid length dress, that was the perfect late autumn dress as it was thick enough to withstand the cold. I paired it with black tights and some ankle boots. I step out from the bathrooms and make my way back to my desk where I see Cara’s face light up

“Ahh! Look at you! If I were Tom, I wouldn’t stop staring—well I can’t stop staring now so actually that doesn’t matter”

I chuckle lightly and pull my jacket on. She squealed once more and got to her feet, messing around with my hair, picking at stray strands, and curling them around her finger.

“Cara?”

“Just getting the last touches all right”

I huff, blowing a piece of hair out of my face. My phone dings and I almost freeze

“He’s heeerree!”

Cara sings, running towards the wall to ceiling windows, looking down all giddy.

“He looks rather dashing”

She swoons.

“I do, don’t I? about time someone took notice”

My eyes snap to Leo, who’s brushing loose strands of his blonde hair back. His eyes look to me and they go wide. He stops walking to my test and I feel heat rush to my cheeks.

“Y/n… you look—”

He coughs to clear his throat and I feel my phone buzz once more.

“You look lovely”

His green eyes scan me from head to toe and I can’t help but feel at ease from his gaze. It’s gentle. I like it.

“Thank you, Leo”

I rummage through my bag to find my jumper, if I stay here any longer then I’d end up taking Leo with me. I still could not wrap my head around the fact that Tom Holland was downstairs… waiting for me.

“I came to see if you wanted to walk with me to the station again?”

My heart drops. His voice was soft and on any other night I would say yes. But I had plans and maybe that was okay too.

“Oh. Maybe on Monday? I’ve—I’m going out tonight”

“Oh okay. That’s fine—”

“HE WAVED AT ME!”

Cara’s squeal filled the office space, causing me to roll my eyes but it made Leo’s head snap to her direction

“Who’s waving at you?”

He asks her. And for some reason there’s a small part of me that doesn’t want Leo to know that I’ll be out with Tom tonight… would he think of me differently? But of course, before I had any say in it, Cara is already opening her mouth

“No other than Mr Tom Holland himself”

“Right. And I’m waving at Queen Liz”

“Take the piss all you want but it’s true. Come see if you want”

Leo ponders for a second then scoffs as he walks to the window

“I’m only looking just to prove you—bloody hell it’s Tom Holland”

Leo almost presses himself against the glass to get a better look. I feel my phone buzz again and I decide to actually pull my phone out and check.

(4:30pm) TomHolland2013: ‘I’m here’

(4:32pm) TomHolland2013: ‘I’ll just wait outside for you’

(4:33pm) Cara: ‘Leo was starinngggg at yoouu’

At the last message I glare at Cara, who is doing nothing to hide her giddy expression. I quickly reply to Tom telling him I’ll be down in a sec. I had to go now otherwise Cara wouldn’t stop squealing and Leo is looking more shocked than ever.

“Why is Tom Holland here?”

“He’s here to pick up y/n”

“What?”

I cough loudly and start moving

“I’ll see you guys next week!”

I rush past a smiling Cara and a confused looking Leo. Once in the lift, I let out a breath that I didn’t even know I was holding. Oh god. The look on Leo’s face was definitely something I didn’t expect. But I try hard not think about it as the lift dings and I see the exit to the street… with Tom waiting there. Hands in his pockets, slight condensation coming from his mouth as he blows out a breath. I push open the door and now I’m standing right in front of him. It felt like whatever work we had done had simply never happened and I was looking at him for the first time. He smiled, one that met his eyes and my heart fluttered. I didn’t want it to do that because this was just a casual meet up. Nothing more.

“Hi”

A casual meet up… nothing more. Nothing more.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tom

Why won’t you let me in?

Because I can’t even let myself in… so why should I let you?

I just want to understand

There’s nothing to understand

She looked so—different. But in a good way. In a way that makes my eyes not want to look away. Her hair was effortlessly draped down her shoulders, but it was light and fluffy, reaching just down her back. Her dress hugged her small frame, almost swallowing her. She seemed so fragile. Her lips were a slight shade of red, and so were her cheeks. So unlike the girl I on Monday with her hair in a bun, jeans and jumper.

“Nice to see you again”

I finally say something. It seems that she was caught in her own thought as I watch her eyelashes flutter before she replies.

“Yes! I mean—I must say I was quite surprised when you messaged me…”

Her cheeks continued to glow with hues of pink and red, and then she did something that tied a knot in my stomach. She bit her bottom lip. Only for a moment before blowing out a breath. I realise I was staring again. I clear my throat and gesture to begin walking. She follows by my side, and I can just about feel the heat radiating from her, but as the autumn wind blows, I smell the sweetness of her perfume. It’s almost floral.

“I thought you did a great job when we first met. I wanted to thank you for putting up with not just me but Harrison too”

She laughs and at makes my heart skip a bit. I barely know this girl and already I long to hear her laugh again. Wow okay I’m already in over my head.

“I was surprised that Harrison actually managed to keep up. You too, I could tell this was different from what you’re used to”

“Only a bit”

She follows my lead and I take her down to a small restaurant me and Harrison have gone to before.

“I’m going to be completely honest. I didn’t really have a plan for tonight but, do you fancy grabbing some dinner with me?”

I watch the left side of her lips tug into a curve. It ignites me and I want to see what else I could take her to. I would take her to all the restaurants in London. I would walk through every park, take her to every café just so we could talk for hours. I could see that.

“I would like that”

This time it was my turn to smile.

“Great—it’s just this way”

My hand goes to her back, and I instantly feel warm. I pull my hand away and put it back to my side. I didn’t want her to feel weird by having me touch her. In fact, I didn’t know if I could touch her without going crazy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The restaurant is busy, but no one has said anything to me or y/n yet. We’ve already ordered our drinks and some starters to begin with. I was surprised when y/n asked to have only a glass of water until the food showed up.

“Drinks go to my head if I drink on a slightly empty stomach”

I sip from my beer and taste the bitterness. It bubbles on my tongue, and I feel it settle in my stomach. Y/n had a valid reason, not that I was judging her. It was just a surprise that she didn’t go straight for a drink… most of the girls I’ve been with normally just care to get drunk, have sex then walk away.

“Makes sense”

We continued our small talk, I asked her how the project was going at work then instantly stopped myself from going into it. She’d only just finished work, I don’t want our conversation to be about work again.

“No don’t worry! It’s fine, honestly. I love my job, so I don’t mind talking about all day if someone asks me to”

She ended her words with a light laugh which once again lit me up.

“Well then, please enlighten me”

I saw her eyes light up as I spoke, then she began to tell me everything. About how her boss Randall, didn’t actually tell her that I was coming or even a part of the project because it was best to work with ideas that came fresh from their mind. She also told me how she had only just started there, that she fairly new but it felt like she’d been working there for years already. Then when our meal arrived, we continued to talk between bites. She talked about her ideas, and then shied away from it only to turn the conversation towards me.

“Alright, enough about me. What about you?”

I swallow the piece of steak that I had sliced up. I wait till I’ve got my mouth empty then reply

“What about me?”

I see y/n raise an eyebrow which she follows up with a breathy laugh

“You’re Tom Holland. You play Spiderman, you do you a lot of your own stunts and get to act along side some of the best actors in the film industry, you have a whole story to tell”

Something pulls at my heart with her words. I chew my piece of steak a bit more then swallow, my eyes are on her. I take the napkin then wipe my mouth before leaning back in my chair. She listed all the things that my actor image created, I won’t be surprised if she knew everything about me… yet she said I have a whole story to tell.

“True stories are never as fun as the ones people make up”

Y/n’s expression changes. Her brow drops and her lips turn to a light frown. This is where I fuck up.

“I didn’t mean for that to—”

“Tell me something then”

“What?”

She takes a few seconds to think of a way to answer

“Tell me something about yourself that someone hasn’t made up… you must have some good stories to tell”

I could tell she was trying to change the way this conversation was sitting. She was so… she made me so curious. So, I comply with her request. I start by telling her stories of me and Harrison at school, talking about old memories a couple of them make her laugh. So goes the rest of the night. Y/n soon begins to giggle nonstop. She had ordered some drinks and I did the same. The buzz of alcohol flowed through my blood, but I feel different. It wasn’t like how I always felt with other girls. That need to get her to my home or hers or wherever it was, just wasn’t there. All I wanted to do was get to know her…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Reader

Don’t do this

Do what?

Act like you don’t have a choice

My choices don’t matter

They do to me…

Our words became entwined and before I know it, time flies by. Dessert was already on the table, the buzz from the white wine that I ordered had kicked in and I could feel my face flush with the effects of alcohol. Tom continued to tell me all sorts of stories, he was so—different. Though I couldn’t really tell that from just this conversation, but to hear him talk about his family and friends, about going to school and having a normal life. It somewhat convinced me that he wasn’t this big Hollywood actor… he is a Hollywood actor. Suddenly, the reality of it all come to me. Tom wasn’t some normal person who I could walk down the street with, hell I wouldn’t be surprised if some of his fans had spotted us, and the hate mail was already sent to my flat… oh god. Is this what it’s like for him? Why would someone sign up to have this life?

“Are you okay?”

Tom’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I Pause for a moment, recollecting what we were talking about before my mind wandered off, but I fail. I take the last sip from my wine and give Tom a weak smile.

“Yes. Yes, I’m alright just—tired. Shall we ask for the bill?”

That seems to catch Tom off guard. I watch his emotions change in waves on his face. Confused. Startled. Acceptance.

“Y-Yeah no problem”

He raises a hand up and signals for the waitress that was serving us. I turn my head to watch her as her face lights up with a smile and she gives a quick nod then turns to get what he asked. I return my gaze to Tom, who’s already getting his wallet out.

“Oh, you don’t need to pay, I can pay for my—”

“Nah, I asked you to join me for dinner. I got it”

My eyes couldn’t help but glance at the way the muscle in his arm flexed as he pulled his wallet out from his jean pocket. I avert my gaze instantly and try to focus on the waitress who has now come back with the bill. Only to realise it’s a different girl that who Tom had signaled. Her hand was shaking as she handed over the bill.

“Pin or cash?”

“Pin please”

She pulls out a pin machine from her waist and holds it out to Tom who takes it and slides his card in. I continue to watch the girl, her lips look she wants to say something, but she keeps holding herself back… until the ding of the pin machine gives her a push.

“Tom Holland?”

She basically squealed his name. I roll my eyes. Who would try to catch his eye when he’s out for dinner? Some privacy please. Tom lets out a muffled laugh that almost sounds like a sigh, before returning the machine back to the waitress. His gaze meets mine, then he looks back to her, putting his card back in his wallet and shoving that back into his jean pocket.

“Yep…that’s me”

“Oh Tom I’m honestly such a big fan I can’t even—”

“Thank you. That’s so sweet really—y/n, shall we?”

The girl’s excitement seems to shift when Tom says my name, then her eyes flick to me. I can’t quite place what I saw in her eyes, but it was as if she was checking her own memory if she had ever heard of me. Then her eyes snapped back to Tom

“Can I get a photo real quick?”

Tom pushes his chair back and stands, his shoulders sag a bit, and I can see he’s struggling to answer her as he looks to me as if I could answer for him. He lets out a sigh again and takes a few steps to my seat.

“Look, normally I would say yes but I’m just having a night out—”

“Just one please!”

“I’d really rather—”

“I always see you take photos with fans”

Tom’s fingers curl around the back of my chair, gripping it hard as he pulls it back for me to get out of my seat. I look at him as he takes in a deep breath and exhales while closing his eyes. With a quick tap on the chair, Tom switches his attitude.

“Come on then”

He walks to waitress and places himself by her side, a grim smile on his lips. I can’t help but feel sorry for him. Though I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable and panicked myself. What if more people start asking? What if they form a crowd? The girl squeals once again and takes out her phone. She poses next to Tom, getting a little too close to him. Don’t know why that bothers me… Once she snapped her photos, she gave Tom a hug and he returned to my side. An apologetic look on his face.

“Let’s go. Before she asks for any retakes”

He jokes then places his hand to my back. It causes my heart to skip a beat for a moment. His hand was warm enough that I could feel it through my dress. It sparked something in me that almost had me tripping up my steps.

“She seemed happy with the results”

“For now. I’m lucky she didn’t do one of those snapchat filters”

Tom chuckles under his breath while opening the door for me. Immediately we are greeted with the night-time chill. I clutch on to my bag and begin looking for my jumper. My eyes land on my phone and I see the time.

“Whoa it’s almost 9:30!”

I say, chucking my phone back into my back and getting hold of my jumper, putting it on. It was just about thick enough to keep me warm, but when the mild wind blew by it caused me to shiver.

“Damn, guess we lost track of time”

His voice is soft. Tom’s eyes are on me, and I don’t know how to feel about it. If anything, I don’t know what I should do next. If anything, I should be going home

“Thank you, Tom. For inviting me to dinner… it was really fun”

“I’m glad I could offer you some enjoyment”

There was a few seconds of silence. Tom swayed, with his hands in his pockets. Which makes me wish I had pockets to keep my own hands warm.

“I think I’m going to head home… it’s been a day”

“Oh. I-I can walk you home—If you want”

I freeze at the question. Then all the thoughts that I had pushed aside come crashing back. What if that girl told her friends that Tom was at this restaurant? What if they follow him? And then they follow him to where I live… what if they start asking questions or throwing stuff at my door? This was ridiculous. Though these things could be likely, I was just panicking for no reason… I hope.

“I think I can manage, thank you”

There was a flash of regret on Tom’s face, and I felt like some asshole. He could’ve walked me home. I walk with Leo from Pauls. I’ve done that before. But Tom was different… it wouldn’t just be walking down the street. It would be walking down the street, trying to avoid fans or paparazzi or anyone with a damn mobile phone.

“Alright then”

He almost whispers his words. We stare at each other for a moment, both unsure on what to do next. I’m surprised he didn’t offer to take me back to his place. He has probably done that with many other girls. The fancy dinner, a few drinks and then back to his… I was making assumptions on someone I didn’t even know. Which reminded me of what Tom said during dinner. ‘True stories are never as fun as the ones people make up’. In the moment, I didn’t quite understand what he meant. But I think I’m starting to.

“Thank you again for tonight…”

Why did I say thank you again?

“Maybe we could hang out again sometime”

“That—”

I thought my answer over. Did he just tell me that he wants to see me again? I suddenly feel heat in my cheeks again and my palms feel sweaty. What would come of me if I were to see Tom Holland again?

“That would be nice”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tom

Would you change anything if you could?

Maybe… sometimes things happen for a reason

One of life’s fucked up ways

When I walked back home, I felt, strange. It wasn’t till I was lying on the couch when I had a moment to have all my thoughts collect. I begin to have a run through everything that happened during my dinner with y/n. Then I groan as I remember that damn waitress who insisted on having a photo, how y/n looked so… so awkward at the whole situation.

“So, the date went well then?”

Harrison asks coming from the kitchen, a beer in each hand. I shouldn’t have another drink. I’ve already had about two pints at the restaurant. But the alcohol calls to me. It would be one way to unwind. I take the bottle from Harrison and take the first sip. It was cold and washed down everything it needed to.

“Oh yeah, went perfectly fine until someone recognised me and insisted on having a picture taken”

“Shit. How did y/n take that?”

I think about his question, placing the bottle to my lip and resting it there for a moment before taking another swig.

“I honestly don’t know… she seemed, surprised? I don’t know I could tell she didn’t like it”

“You think she’ll be up for seeing you again”

“Who knows…”

I down the beer in a few more gulps then set it down. What followed was three more bottles, my mind going fuzzy and my blood processing through the amount alcohol I had ingested over the night. When I go to bed, my head begins to pound with a headache. But all I can see when I close my eyes was y/n. I see her smile, the way her hair caresses her cheeks… the way her dress hugged her slim frame. Then I see the panicked face she had when the waitress recognised us and my stomach churns. I shouldn’t have take her to dinner, that was a stupid mistake. Anyone could’ve seen us… but maybe I wanted that. Maybe I didn’t care if anyone saw me with her because there was something about her that captivated me. I just hope she would consider seeing me again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Reader

Let me tell you what you mean to me

Alright then, tell me

Everything. You mean everything to me…

It was the following Monday. Though it’s been three days since our dinner, I can’t stop my stomach from dipping every time I heard Tom’s name. I walked to work alone, I wanted to. Though Leo did text me last night asking if he should wait for me to meet him at Pauls. I told him to go ahead without me as I would be leaving late. That was a lie… I actually left earlier than usual and showed up at work almost an hour before I was meant to start, but I just dove right into my work. When Cara showed up, she instantly came to my desk. She had called me up on Saturday, demanding to know the details of my little date, with Tom. If you could even call it that. It wasn’t a date, at least I didn’t think it was? He did take me to dinner, we shared some great stories, but I don’t think there was anything about it. But I can’t help but think back to how he made me laugh, and how he seemed to glow when he talked about his own life. The life not in front of cameras.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Leo set a cup of tea in front of me and pulled a chair to sit next to me. I was brought back to my work in front of me, the outline of the project had taken me most of the morning, but it was going well. I take hold of the cup and warm my hands.

“Thank you…”

I smile at him then take a steady sip. It was still scorching hot. I know his eyes are one me, I can feel them looking for any sign of—whatever emotion—I had contorted on my face.

“Do I push too much when I ask to walk with you to work? Because I don’t mean to—”

“Of course not! Leo trust me, I enjoy walking with you in the mornings… and in the evenings too”

That seems to cheer him up. Honestly, I didn’t even think what my own jumbled up thoughts would do for Leo. I basically brushed him off on Friday, ignored his texts till Sunday night when he asked to walk me to work then told him a complete lie.

“My mind has just been—all over the place recently”

“I didn’t mean to come here for this conversation. I just wanted to bring you some tea, get you to ease up. Looked like you could’ve used a nice cuppa”

I smirk and take another sip from my cup. Why couldn’t Tom be Leo. Wait did I just think that? That thought would be wrong on so many levels. Tom was his own person, he was unique in his own way and Leo had his own traits… but it was the simplicity that I wanted… At least if I walk home with Leo there won’t be a chance of having it plastered all over social media. Leo was normal… Leo was… himself.

“Well, it worked”

Maybe it would be best to focus on something—someone—who wouldn’t blow my life up in the spotlight. But I can’t shake this feeling, that it was wrong to do this. To think this way. Love was overrated. Everything about it promised nothing but heartache at the end. But just have good company… maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

“Want to walk me to the station after work?”

Leo’s lips tugged at the sides, and he smiled. His green eyes look directly into mine and heat pools in my stomach as his replies, his voice low and gentle.

“I would love that”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Leo and I met almost every morning this week to grab some breakfast and coffee before work. Once work was finished, we would chat and walk to my nearest station before parting. Cara became increasingly sly with her comments, sending me secret messages at work that made me laugh and roll my eyes.

(4:00pm)Cara: ‘Leo Acaster… more like AcASSter because oh my he’s looking quite fit today wouldn’t you say so?”

(4:02pm)Me: ‘I swear you will get me fired. If anyone were to read these texts, they’d say we were insane’

(4:03pm)Cara: ‘You think Leo is fiiiittt’

I shove my phone into my cardigan pocket and stare back at the screen in front of me. Only another half hour left and then it would be the weekend. I could tell that Leo wanted to ask me if I was going anything, but it seemed to get him tongue every time he’d mention something remotely to it. So, for the next half hour, I concentrate on finishing my work plan, and before I knew it, Leo was at my desk. Right on time.

“Do you ever not show up right on the dot?”

“Wouldn’t want you working overtime on the weekend now, would we?”

I laugh and begin to log off of my work profile then stand up, grabbing my bag as I do then flatten down my skirt. Leo waits for me to be beside him before we start walking towards the lift at the other side of the office. Leo only made light comments about the evening, not really talking much until the lift had reached the bottom floor and dinged

“Are you doing much this weekend?”

We walk out, side my side and walk towards the big glass door that opens to the busy evening of London.

“I don’t have anything planned, if that’s what you’re asking”

He releases a slight chuckle and opens the door for me. We’re greeted with the booming noises of the city. Ambulances, buskers, cars driving past, so many people finishing work and wanting to go out to the pub. Tonight would be a great chance to go out, and I wanted that. I wanted to have a drink and relax and let my hair down. I pulled my cardigan closed as the wind swept by, my legs immediately feel the chill of the evening. Tights weren’t warm, but they looked cute.

“Well, I was actually wondering if you wanted to—”

“Y/n!”

I was startled to hear my name called and almost jumped when I felt someone touch my elbow. I swing around and instantly freeze.

“Tom?”

“Hey!”

I forget how to breathe. He’s just here. Out in the open, no hat no big jacket just here… outside my work building… He looked good. His hair had already grown a lot in a week, and I could see the curls starting to form. He was wearing a dark blue V neck shirt, and dark blue jeans tied together with a swede bomber jacket. He was looking handsome as ever. Oh, sweet god.

“What are you—What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see if you were busy”

My heart was almost bursting from my chest with how hard it was pounding. Did Tom come here to see me again? If Cara were here, she’d be having a full on fit about see Tom. Almost as if she could hear my thoughts like a bloody radar, the entrance door from the building opens up and Cara walks out. Glasses on and hair whipping around in the wind. I see the curve of her mouth already.

“Oh!”

She was quick to pull herself together all before a cheeky grin plastered to her lips.

“I had a feeling we’d be seeing you again Tom—”

“what?”

“Come Leo, I could use some company walking to my station”

“I-I um—”

Cara didn’t wait for Leo to respond and entwined her arm with his, pulling in the direction of where she wanted to go. Silently I thank her, but I also hated it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be alone with Tom.

“See you Monday y/n!”

She calls out giving a wave. Leo looks more confused than ever and slumps his shoulders. In a way I felt bad for him, Tom had interrupted his moment to ask something. That was if he was actually going to ask me anything, I can’t really remember what he started his sentence with. When they turned the corner and were out of view, I turn my attention back to Tom. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to message him, but then again how do I even go about asking a damn movie star if he wanted to grab coffee with me?

“Sorry for just showing up, I was in the area and thought I’d take a chance”

“T-That’s fine, I was just—I was”

I thought about it. I was about to walk home with Leo, with hopes that I would be going out in the city so now I had no idea what I was going to do.

“Honestly, I don’t know really”

Tom laughs and it’s the sweetest sound. I never noticed it before, I knew his laugh was melodic but now, to hear it in such a way after not hearing it for a week it was music to my ears and made my heart flutter.

“Well, fancy getting a drink?”

He asks me with such swagger. His eyes look into mine and a see how he swipes his tongue over his lips. It sends a chill down my body, but I blame it on the wind. It had to be the wind right?

“That depends”

I tease. If Tom wanted to ask me out for drinks, well then. Today I was feeling slightly more confident that before and I mean, if he could show up at my work with no fear then maybe I could talk to him with no fear.

“On?”

“Whether or not you’re buying”

His tongue swipes over his lips again and then he smiles. It was something unlike anything I’ve seen, and it sent a wave through my body. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from focusing on his mouth and those chocolate brown eyes.

“I wouldn’t dare ask you to pay for anything”

“Fine then”

“Alright”

With that, Tom gestures for me to move forward and I do so. Oh god… Drinks with Tom Holland… what’s the worst that could happen?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tom

Is this what you want?

I don’t know…

Then what do you want? Because I can’t decide for you

I ended up taking y/n to an old bar that me and Harrison used to go to with my brothers. I haven’t been here in a while, but it hasn’t changed. And neither did the flow of alcohol. Y/n was already on her fourth drink. She started off with some cocktails, in which she had tried to convince that I had to order too. So, I did, and it tasted pretty good. After that, she went for white wine and that seemed to be the one to make her bubbly. I had gone for some lager and now being almost four and a half pints in, I can feel myself buzz.

“Care for a sip?”

y/n holds up her glass and swirls the wine in front of me

“You know what, I was never one to drink white wine”

That sets her to giggle, and I indulge in it. The conversation was unlike the one we had last week during dinner. This was intoxicated confessions and banter… and I enjoyed every bit of it. Seeing y/n like this, I know it was mostly the alcohol, but she was relaxed and didn’t seem to thin about things. It seems that I was the same because I found myself inching closer to her bit by bit in the booth we were in. I do it again and I feel my leg brush up against the soft material of her tights. It stirs something in me, and I know it’s the alcohol in me but the thought of touching her skin had filled my mind. When she talks to me, my eyes linger on her lips, and I can’t take them off them. So soft. They look perfect. She looks perfect. I’m falling before I even register it. I’m leaning into her, my lips barely brush against her before I realise what I’m doing. But I don’t move away

“I’m so sorry”

“It’s—it’s fine”

Y/n doesn’t move back either. My eyes search her face for anything that tells me that she’s uncomfortable by this, but it’s me that switches. She’s not like the rest of them. There wasn’t that need to feel any type of lust. It was there of course, but it wasn’t the only thing I saw. I can’t help but let my hand go to her cheek and I let my thumb trace down to her lips. What am I doing… I want to lean in. To press my lips into hers and taste her but that’s not what I should be doing. I shouldn’t be kissing her while she’s drunk, I shouldn’t be kissing her at all. What if she doesn’t want that? Well, it seemed like she does. I pull away and clear my throat, taking a sip from my glass. I couldn’t help myself but continue to think about how her leg was still pressed up against mine, and every urge in me was fighting to get out

“I think this’ll be my last drink”

Y/n looks flustered as ever as she straightens herself up and immediately takes a long swig from her wine glass. Whatever just happened… I think it was a start to something more… at least, I hope.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Reader

Isn’t it amazing?

What is?

This… breathing… living… like there’s no reason to hide it

Yeah. It is amazing, isn’t it

My phone kept buzzing and buzzing and buzzing. It’s what actually woke me up. I couldn’t remember much, but when I sit up in my bed, I feel the pounding in my head. Ah yes… white wine. My tongue tastes weird, and my stomach feels like it could devour a full four course meal with no problem. I groan as I stretch my arms up over my head. My phone still continues to buzz but I ignore it as I get myself up. Last night was a bit of a blur but I know I had fun. It was strange to seem Tom like that. And then I remember something that made all the blood in my body hot. I place my hands to my lips, touching them lightly. It wasn’t a kiss, but it was—something. What would’ve happened if we did kiss? I can’t deny that I found him attractive, a lot of people did. But what can I offer him? He’s someone that could get models and actresses and all sorts of girls, yet he chose to take me out for a drink and lean his lips against mine… Then I remember the way he pulled away as if I had bit him. I groan again. Was it in that moment that he realised he made a mistake? Maybe he wasn’t thinking properly, I certainly wasn’t considering that I am still thinking about how I could smell the woodiness from his cologne and even the hoppy smell from the lager he drank, from his lips… oh there was no use. My phone still doesn’t stop buzzing. I curse at it

“Bloody hell who’s texting me nonstop”

I go to my bedside table and grab it only to see that my phone has blown up with notifications.

“What the—”

The I get an incoming call from Cara

“Well good morning”

“YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR MESSAGES RIGHT FUCKING NOW”

I pull the phone away from my ear at her as her voice screeches on my phone speakers.

“Please no yelling. I might be slightly hungover”

“I just—I know that, but you really want to see what I’ve sent you. I’m in Asda at the moment but trust me!”

She gave no more and then hangs up the call. Weird. I begin to search through her messages to see that she has sent me over 30 texts…

(8:32am)Cara: ‘WAIT WHAT!!’

(8:33am)Cara: ‘OKAY WE ARE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS LATER BUT LOOK AT THIS’

(8:34am)Cara: ‘PLEASE WAKE UP BECAUSE YOU NEED TO CHECK INSTAGRAM’

(8:35am)Cara: ‘I wonder who took this!’

(8:45am)Cara: Missed call

(8:47am)Cara: Missed call

(8:50am)Cara: ‘I know you’ll freak out when you wake up but ANSWER YOUR PHONE’

(9:22am)Cara: Missed call

Oh my god. My heart began to race as I scroll through her messages. All of them talking about Instagram and about my night with Tom. My stomach sinks and I fell like I want to throw up. I click on my Instagram, too afraid to click the links Cara had sent me. My app froze. I left it and try again and it floods with notifications. Messages, photo tags, likes, followers. No no no. I see the headlines that I’ve been tagged in

Tom Hollands mystery girl!

Tom Holland gets cozy with new girl at a bar

Tom Holland gets drunk and parties with female friend!

Drinks and love for Tom Holland Friday night in London

My messaged are all over the place. My inbox was full of girls I didn’t know asking me about Tom. My follower count had skyrocketed into a number I didn’t even think I would ever reach. Then I scroll again. I can’t even breathe correctly because, all over social media… all over my home page. Is a picture of me and Tom from last night, with our lips barely inches apart and his hand on my cheek.

“Oh fuck…”

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland commission #tom holland x reader imagine #tom holland x reader angst #tom holland angst #harrison osterfield #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader fluff #comission #commission writing

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why-ask-why · 5 years

Text

Today I learned about a couple that decided to rebuild their deserted piece of land of 600 hectares in Aimorés, Brazil. They planted more than 2 million tree saplings. As a result, the site has 293 plant species, 172 bird species and 33 animal species, some of which were on the verge of extinction. It only took 18 years!

In the early 1990s, Brazilian photo-journalist Sebastião Ribeiro Salgado was stationed in Rwanda to cover the horrific accounts of Rwanda genocide. The on-ground experience left him traumatised. In 1994, he was returning to his home in Minas Gerais, Brazil, with a heavy heart, hoping to find solace in the lap of a lush green forest, where he had grown up.

But, instead, he found dusty, barren land for miles and miles, in place of the forest. In only a few years, his beautiful hometown underwent rampant deforestation, leaving it fallow and devoid of all the wildlife. For him, everything was destroyed. “The land was as sick as I was. Only about 0.5% of the land was covered in trees,’ he shared in an interview with The Guardian. Salgado was shattered.

Saldago’s Wife Wanted to Recreate The Forest

It was at this time that Salgado’s wife Lélia made a near-impossible proposal. She expressed her wish to replant the entire forest. Salgado supported her idea, and together the couple set out on a heroic mission. Brazil Photographer Forest

Salgado bought an abandoned cattle ranch from his parents and started building a network of enthusiastic volunteers and partners who would fund and sustain their mammoth project. In 1998, the couple founded Instituto Terra – the organisation which tirelessly worked to bring a forest back to life.

PNHR Bulcão Farm | by Weverson Rocio – 2012

Salgado sowed the first seed in December 1999. The couple hired around 24 workers in the beginning and was later joined by numerous volunteers over the years. They worked day and night – from uprooting the invasive weeds to planting new seedlings. Soon, their hard work bore fruit as tropical trees native to the region started flourishing in the area. They received a donation of over one lakh saplings which gave rise to a dense forest. The handcrafted forest comprises mostly of local arboreal and shrub varieties. Latest satellite imagery revealed how a soothing green forest cover has enveloped the area which once was a devastating arid eyesore.Since 1998, they have planted more than 2 million saplings of 293 species of trees and rejuvenated 1,502 acres of tropical forest. The biodiversity-rich zone has recently been declared as a Private Natural Heritage Reserve (PNHR).

youtube

The Impact of Salgado’s Forest

The afforestation project, which is undoubtedly one of the greatest environmental initiatives in the world, has also helped to control soil erosion and revived the natural springs in the area. Eight water springs which once dried up, flow at around 20 litres per minute at present, relieving the drought-prone region of its woes. Salgado’s forest also happens to solve the much-debated notion about climate change, proving that the trend can be reversed if tried. His forest has resulted in causing more rainfall to the area and cooler weather, bringing a drastic and desirable change in the climate.

Instituto Terra’s Fauna | by Leonardo Merçon – 2012

The most important positive aspect of the forest till now has to be the return of the lost fauna. More than 172 species of birds, 33 species of mammals, 15 species of amphibians and reptiles have been spotted in the forest interiors, something which was beyond imagination two decades ago. Many of the plant and animal species in his forest actually feature on the endangered list.

Efforts For Good

Climate change is a harsh reality. Mankind is bearing the brunt of the relentless destruction they inflicted on the planet. Yet, people like Salgado and Lélia fill us with hope, proving that patience and persistence can be our keys to heal the wounds of nature. If two people can create a 1502-acre forest in just 20 years, then imagine how much can be done if everyone comes together to protect the environment. It must be reminded that for every tree we plant, we are adding 118 kgs of oxygen to the air every year, and reducing the carbon footprint by 22 kgs.

Efforts For Good urges all the readers to actively engage in planting trees and gradually turn this into a fixed habit.

Sources: http://www.scienceinsanity.com/2019/03/brazilian-couple-created-1502-acre.html

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/bg0ebn/a_couple_decided_to_rebuild_their_deserted_piece/

#climate change #terraforming #uplifting news #plant trees #save the rainforest

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unreasonablebehaviour · 3 years

Text

Pls take this random assortment of dsmp “hcs” (which is actually just me rambling out my ass but we love to see it//)

—————

- Sam just like gets really fuccn energetic in a thunderstorm... like just hyperactive but also like v strong..... also immune to electrocution :)

- He’s also like all creepers are, shit terrified of cats which is v funny considering he’s sorta friends with ant

- Even funnier if u want to take the ‘canon’ fact of ant being a whole ass 20 feet tall

- Speaking of ant and this absolutely isn’t a hc but I just find it very funny that people draw humanoid versions of all of the non human characters EXCEPT for ant who I have only ever seen drawn as a cat ghgh

- Bads skin colour is deadass vantablack like if he holds his hand in front of his face it just seemingly vanishes and you can’t pick out where his hand ends and face begins

- I want him to look terrifying.... like absolutely massive a complete unit of a man, sharp ass teeth, sharp spikes and horns, sharp claws, white glowing eyes........... but he’s just like “owo” at all times ghgh

- Skeppy has chronic pain from the diamonds growing inside his body and out of his skin... sometimes he ramps up how cheerful he is to try and hide how much pain he’s in that day

- Ranboo’s body is longer on his enderman side and so he physically can’t stand up straight unless his shorter leg is on a slope

- He’s half silverfish... mainly cause I think that’s funny like hehe both those and endermen are linked to the end/stronghold and can break blocks

- This does also mean he joins bad and skeppy in the ‘help I am v spiky’ club tho

- Also also like absolutely none of his clothes fit cause his limbs are so disproportionately long so rip his ankles in the tundra I guess

- Shortza supremacy

- Sapnap... blaze boy..... I want him to steam when he angy...... v warm to the touch and all of the dteam lay on top of him when it’s cold lmao

- George is like some weird ass mushroom man.... like he looks completely human for the most part but he’s not he just never tells anyone cause he has the mentality of ‘well no one ever asked?’ Or ‘it didn’t seem important’

- When he’s in danger the surrounding plants try to help him (like lmao there’s a war goin on? Nah just take a nap and miss out so you won’t get hurt :) )

- Imagine how much funnier the lmanberg saga would be if schlatt just looked like his profile icon rather than his mc skin.... just cute tiny sheep man in a sweater... I think it’d be like that one gif of the teddy bear slamming its head onto the table to acquire angy eyebrows

- Dreams has symmetrical white patches down the front of skin... kinda like vitiligo but not? Like deadass pure white

- I also kinda just imagine him having creepy solid black eyes ghgh (haha it’s cause he’s possessed)

- He’s immortal and kinda just snapped tbh like half the reason his actions are so manipulative, selfish and drastic are both because he’s so desperate to have control over things in his life and because low-key he kinda hopes that people will find a way to kill him off or get rid of the thing possessing him (I just want a happy ending :( make him not evil pls my poor heart can’t take a non happy for everyone ending//)

- Puffy is fluffy :) I will not elaborate further

- Revived people have creepy blacked out maybe kinda glowing eyes.... paler skin.... scars and phantom pains from their injuries....

- Phil just deadass found Wilbur hiding inside a fridge and took him home with him... wil just assumed the fridge was his mom and Phil found it too funny to correct him

- Tubbo is a moobloom hybrid and all the bees love him ok 💛

- I think it would be funny if dream just deadass can’t see shit through his mask rap considering all the feats he has done

- Phil is v old and ‘wise’ but is also fairly detached from reality as a result cause he can’t really remember what earlier parts of his life were like to understand how other people act

- I also think it’d be hilarious if he ironically had like 0 life skills... cooking? He’s shit at it. Sleep schedule? Never heard of it. Taxes? Isn’t that a state?

- The floors in the tundra trios homes are constantly being ruined by techno having hooves and Phil and maybe ranboo having claws... like u no how u can like dent and scrape a wooden floor with heels? Kinda like that

- Speaking of those three I also think it’d be very funny if they all collectively became useless or started fighting in the presence of a gold block cause like 👀 ‘oo gold/hehe shiny/hold block’ mentality

- Quackity can shapeshift.... but he’s like a ditto and always has the :] face.... mmm also maybe keeps any scars he has

- His ability to control this decreases the more he dies

- So like u could he talking to him and just suddenly he looks like someone else or like a weird mishmash of people and just hasn’t noticed lmao totally not freaky at all

- Literally non of the tundra trio are equipped for the weather like u have someone from the hot af nether, bird man who’d realistically be prone to hypothermia and someone who’s allergic to water like lmao why do yall live here what is wrong with you

- I want niki to just be very exasperated by this fact

- I want her to bake goods for her friends... tailored to their tastes.... cheer up food :)

- Also i forget when she changed her skin but I think it’d be very funny if she dyed her hair pink as an intimidation factor to tommy cause she knows he dislikes techno

- Puffy ily but I do not trust you with Tommy after the disaster that was bbh and skeppys relationship counselling

- The concept of the totems being foolish’s children is very funny to me like just the implication that he just leaves his kids in random chests for people to steal and that when they witness someone die they just explode with revive energy or something like w h a t

- Ghostbur either isn’t actually Wilbur and is just some entity pretending to be him hence the ‘poor memory’ OR him and limbo Wilbur are two halves of one entity

- I just find it v sus that he’s the only ghost that’s ever shown up... and regularly at that

- mmm tubbo hard of hearing.... relies on reading lips the best he can when to help clarify what people are saying but he can hear people well enough if they raise their voice quite loud

- cursed hc but what if ash and Zachary were somehow michael decendants and they like porkums cause he’s either originally a family friend or he just reminds them of stuff

- Ok half of these aren’t even hcs anymore and is just me rambling but who let Karl be in charge of the time travel he has such strong himbo energy

- That being said villain Karl when 👀//

- Why is tubbo like one of the smartest most accomplished people on the sever... he’s like 17..... like my man has been president, developed a new form of fast travel, has a family, developed a nuclear weapons program by himself, launched a man into space, developed a whole town and more .... like who let him have this much power he can barely read//

- I think it’d be funny if techno was just really bad at strategy games..... like ok technically he’s not bad at them but like he just spends 4 days analysing every last minute detail every round to optimise his chances of winning//

- I feel like people don’t give Jack enough credit for the fact he cheated death using nothing but spite

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jonah-aesthetic · 3 years

Text

Jingle Bells I Daniel Seavey

Daniel X Reader

Plot: Your best friend since childhood takes you on a sleigh ride. one you’ve only mentioned once to him. With the entire Christmas vibe he brings to life it’s hard for you to keep your feelings at bay for him.

Word count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: unedited I feel like this piece flopped for me. I didn’t want it too long, but it also dragged on a little. Yet I didn’t think I put enough detail in this one.

Rating: 16+ (I’m 20 so I’d like my readers to be some what around there.)

MoodBoard

-----------------------------------------

Your vision was blocked by a folded bandanna tied around your head with a secured knot or two. Hand tightly locked with Daniel’s, feeling his thumb rub a top yours for comfort. Snow crunched under your Dr. Martens with ease, slightly soft from the snow fall a few days prior. Slow steps as He guided you keeping your location a surprise.

Your senses felt heightened with your eyes looking into the dark oblivion. The vague bitter smell of horse manure and the rather oddly pleasant hay scent Reached your nose. You wouldn’t have noticed it before, almost feeling like a damn blood hound. Yet it gave a hint on where he was taking you.

Two hours previous he woke you up, you’re nothing close to a morning person. So you cussed his ass out of your apartment so you could enjoy the fantasy dreams about him. Ones you could never endure in reality, Daniel’s your best friend who you were insufferably in love with.

Yet he came again, using the spare you forgot you gave him. But this time he came bearing an Eggnog Latte and gingerbread cookie. Slaying the ferocious dragon into silence, the way he always knew how. The caffeine and baked good keeping you at bay as he told you he at the day planned for the both of you. Although it was a surprise, all he said was dress appropriate for the chilly winter weather and grab a blanket.

Analyzing everything in your head for a quick second. You realized he was bringing you on that sleigh ride you mentioned once before. Thinking it’d be fun to do during the winter months, you didn’t think he’d actually book an entire day for it. Making it a big thing, you wish he didn’t. Cause it only made butterflies flutter, tempting you to wreck your friendship.

“Watch your step..” Daniel’s voice is more projected against the snow over ground. Heart slamming upon your rib cage and you swear you can hear it.

“Actually just bend your knees, It’s a stairwell and I’d rather not risk you eating shit. Or breaking a nose in the winter.” At his words you probably figured they were slippery or he didn’t trust you not to slip, you were no doubt clumsy as Bambi, and the man knew it.

Bending your knees a little, which you curious on why he asked you in the first place. Yet you trusted him with your life, there’s no going back on years of friendship now Seavey. his arms scooped you under your legs and against your back. Bringing you closer to his chest, the motion fast and unexpected as you let of a small whimper. Daniel groaned as he hopped getting a more sturdy hold on you.

“God you’re heavy.” He breathes, the air from his lungs hitting your cheeks.

“Then put me down Asshole.” You scold him, slapping his chest, feeling a deep chuckle rumble within.

“I was joking, you’re not heavy, you’re fine. It was a bad joke anyways. Now hold on I might drop you.”

“Daniel That’ll be the last thing you’ll do before you end up in hell.” You threaten playfully. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck after feeling him climb up the stairs. It was a small rocking motion almost like you were on a ride especially with the blindfold on.

“Was that a death threat?”

“If you drop me, yes, yes it is.”

Gasping you felt Daniel fake drop you, it was a slower motion that you thought it would be to actually drop you. Nonetheless it still scared you, clawing on tighter to him. Whitening your knuckles as angry wasps scattered in your stomach.

“I hate you, I hate you, I have you Seavey.” You yelled still preparing for the fall the would never come.

Again you could feel the glorious deep chuckle of his erupt from his chest. Vibrating against you, turning angry wasps into love-sick butterflies. “We’re hear anyways.”

“Than you can put me down and take this damn blindfold off.” You speak trying to reach for it. Daniel’s hand caught your wrist like a reflex. “Not yet, just a few more minutes.”

Opening a door and being engulfed my warmed, you shivered from the drastic temperature change. Bells rang above warning the receptionist that customers have arrived. It was around an hour, or what felt like an hour to you later. Of going over everything for the surprise, from the time to the pricing. Which you weren’t to happy about, yet after all of it nobody confirmed your theory. You knew what it was, but you wanted it to be heard. Though nothing about it was said.

Nada. Zilp. Zitch. Nothing. Not even a damn crumb.

Going from warm to cold wasn't as drastic of a change. Daniel still held you bridal style, scared you eat shit. Which you most likely would have, if he let you climb down the steps. You felt very natural in his arms anyways, like to pieces of a puzzle.

Daniel began to lower you softly letting you go before your feet were on the ground again. Silently thanking him for being on your two feet again. His presence coming behind you, raising his fingers to the knots and began to pick at them.

“Are you ready?”

Yes I’ve been waiting all damn day for this. Take it off Seavey.” Hearing him chuckle behind a smile spread across your face. Feeling the bandanna drop, hands flying to your mouth as you gasped. You knew it, yet you were still shocked by the sight of it.

In front of you was bright red sleigh with gold detailing all around it. Had a massive resemblance to the famous Santa Klaus one. instead of nine reindeer, a beautiful black Clydesdale stood in their place. On of the bands resting upon his butt had a line of huge bells. Ringing every time he moved, bringing the whole Christmas vibe alive.

whirling around gazing at him a gentle smile rested on his lips. His blonde hair half tucked under a black beaning. Light stubble dancing along his jaw, making him look older. His icy blue eyes watching you, fighting the urge to tell him you wanted him. Maybe he knew it already, that’s why he took you here, and maybe he didn’t.

“You didn’t have to.” You said shaking your head,

“I know, I wanted to, I had the money for it.” He shrugged stuffing his hands into his pockets. Why couldn’t Daniel be less attractive! it wasn’t fair. perfect silence emerged over both of you, genuine smiles with adoration for one another hidden behind your eyes.

“If you Two love birds are ready, I love to show you what this gorgeous winter has to offer.” The Driver spoke, sitting upon the front seat that was two or three feet higher then the main seats in the center of the sleigh.

With giddy giggles Daniel escorted you towards it, his hand resting on the smallest part of your back. Maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, but you swear you could’ve felt his hand reach and squeeze your hip.

Sitting down it was a tight and cozy fit, the bench and the back rest was cushioned with a black leather material. Smooth to the touch and soft as ever, with a clicker of the chauffeur’s tongue, the sleigh bolted to life, cause you and Daniel to fall back into each other. Soon enough the jingle bells rhythm came into ear shot. Making this whole experience feel like you woke up in a fucking Christmas. Unbelievable real.

“Are you okay?” Daniel’s laugh fans your cheeks as he helps you to sit up right.

“Never better.” You say with an undying happiness you possessed inside. Not feeling the way the cold nipped at your nose making you look like and off brand Rudolph.

“Here.” He speaks as you watch him unfold a black blanket, a little dumbfound, the thing was massive and surprised you hadn't noticed it before. Handing you one of the corners of the blanket, and instantly wrapped it around you as Daniel did the same. Pulling you two closer together, trying to engulf your body in it as much as you.

“Thanks” you whisper under your breathe, watching it form into an icy cloud. Glancing at the gold letters embroidered into the corner of the blanket tight. it was a gift from Daniel’s mother giving to you on the day you both graduated. Remembering the words she said to you like it was yesterday.

“You know I wasn't to ecstatic about new neighbors moving in. But as soon as I saw this sweet little girl playing with my boy. I was glad that your parents’ pick the that house. I Watched you two laughing and giggling in the yards, I just knew you two would be in separable. It’s a shame that boy of mind doesn't see the love that you have for him...”

It shocked you to know that she knew that you were in love with him. You covered your tracks pretty well back then. Controlling yourself around him was child’s play compared to now. She never interfered with the way you felt about him, You were grateful at the time. Now not so much, but it could’ve wrecked the friendship you had-

“Y/N look.” Daniel’s voice cut your thoughts short, His attention of the right. You follow his gaze, spotting nine caribou in scattered in the woods. Or rather nine reindeer, you guessed they weren’t replaced after all. You could feel the sleigh come to a gentle stop, the jingle bells’ song vanished into the air.

“Oh shit! Reindeer.” No filter with pure shock,

Curiously watching them from a far, you admired each and every one. Noticing a chunky bell lacing around their necks, like they were Santa's famous reindeer's’ out of the movies.

“And watch this.” He speaks glancing up at the driver, as if on cue he places his fingers in mouth and releases a high pitch whistle. “Keep an eye out for him,”

“Keep an out of who?-”

A reindeer further into the forest walks towards us, elegant and gentle. Stalking through the snow as if he held pride, significantly larger than all the other reindeer, he must of been the alpha, the leader.

Amazed at the whole thing you couldn't think of words to say and if you manged something. It’d definitely come out as word vomit. Reaching closer and closer to the sleigh you could her the bell jingle against his chest. Black scribble appeared on the red ribbon clasped around his neck. Soon being able to read the name ‘Rudolph’ on both side on his throat.

“Isn’t he beautiful?” Daniel asks looking back at you expecting you to say words you couldn’t fathom at the moment. You gulped and nodded your head vigorously. He was more then beautiful he was stunningly gorgeous and massive. You’ve never seen a wild animal in person not to mention this close to one.

Daniel held a chuckle at your reaction to this entire encounter with Rudolph. Finding your dumbfound shock, adorably cute. In moments like these he dreaded the knowledge of being your best friend and not your boyfriend. Where he could just grab the back of your neck and smash his lips hungrily to yours.

The adrenaline high was retreating in your veins, causing your mind to process again. The cage of anxiety breaking open as the glance of Daniel’s ocean eyes calmed you down.

He’s fucking perfect. Look at those dopy eyes, various shades of blues swirled inside them. causing your heart to melt into the bottom of your stomach. All thoughts of common sense started to leave, glancing at his lips. looking pink and soft as ever, god they must taste like heaven, or at least the closest thing to it.

Best friend. Best friend. Best friend.

Looking forward you could’ve swore you breathed the same air as Rudolph. Still he was more beautiful up close. White creamy chest that reached to his legs, chocolate brown body. adorable nose that had the softest resemblance to a cow. Antlers sprouting from a top his head, developing towards the sky. A small white box was tethered to his left antler by a black ribbon. Throwing your best friend a suspicious glance, he nodded letting you reach for it.

Clasping the velvet box in your hand, feeling your heart pound repeatedly. Breath caught, anxious of what’s in the box. Feeling your gut tell you this was it and whatever this box contained was going to change everything. Distracting yourself you focused on Rudolph, seeing the way he looked at you. As if he knew what it was somehow.

taking your glove off with your teeth you reached for him, pausing three inches before his nose. If you learned anything from Draco’s encounter with Buckbeck, was to be patient and let the animal come to you. Although at the end of the day it was just a fucking movie.

Warmth exploded from your palm to your elbow, smiling you trailed your hand to rest under his chin. His fur softer than you were expecting it to be, yet you didn’t know what you were expecting. “Thank you Rudolph.” You whisper to him soon retracting your hand. Backing away he retreated to his herd, quite as if the encounter with him never happened.

Taking up your spot next to Daniel you glance up at him, “What is this?” You asked breathlessly.

“Open it.” He says, voice a tremble and couldn’t help but think that he knows. Was this what a best friend break up was like? Staring at it you forced the top open, but you let it go. Snapping shut without a glimpse. You shake your head, gulping feeling the bile rise. “I can’t Daniel”

His hand comes into view, twice the size of yours. Veins scattered along his knuckles, red from the cold. Taking the box from you grip you stared at your fingers, missing the feeling of his hands on yours.

“I’m in love with you.” He blurts in out like it was nothing new to you. Your head whipped so fast you got dizzy. His eyes were genuine, you always knew he was lying. The way he would glance up and down then to side. Tongue poking out with a fiddling of handing, but he didn’t show any signs. He was a good actor though.

“She told you.” You accuses like a defensive mechanism. You guessed Keri thought you moved on with your feelings for Daniel. There was no other reason you could think of.

“She did.’ He confirms, Nodding his head. Was this was this a joke to him? Cause it wasn’t fucking funny. You shook your head feeling the fire burning in your blood.

‘I can’t do this.” You speak, removing yourself from the seat and jumping out of the sleigh. Starting to head back in the direction you think the farm was located. The cold weather bite at your body, but you hugged yourself too furious to care.

“Y/N!”

“Leave me alone Daniel.” You could here him chase after you, with the ay he was breathing.

“Mom told me you wouldn’t believe me.” His voice getting louder.

“Maybe you should’ve kept it to yourself Seavey, better yet you should’ve let me sleep in.” You were hurt, and you didn’t know how to comprehend any of this.

“I love when you talk about things you’re passionate about. Like the colors on your paint palette, how you mixed blue and purple for the perfect shade of magenta.”

That was two months ago and you remembered the excitement you felt. After hours of mixing you finally made the exact shade you wanted. Daniel was the first one you came to, as he was at your apartment.

“Daniel stop.” using his name the way you were was like a sting each time.

“Or the time you hit that sparrow, you pulled over as so soon as you felt the bird hit the grill. You dug him a grave with a used spoon in the truck of my car. Gave him a funeral and forced me to speak at it like it was lost friend. It was the day I finally realized I love you with every fiber of my being.” You could hear the strain in his voice.

That happened two fucking years ago.

“It’s not fair.” You speak stopping in your tracks, a good distance away from the sleigh. Feeling his presence behind you, you let him reach out for you. His hand turning you to face him yet you faced the ground feeling like you lost a damn war, defeated and drained.

“I know it’s not and I’m so incredibly sorry.” He sounded like he was begging for you.

“Okay.” you didn't know exactly what it was for, but you felt like it was needed.

His hand came to rest on your cheek wiping a tear you didn’t know slip. His touch delicate against your face, tilting your head up he caught your lips against his. His lips were soft as you fell into sync. Tasting like cinnamon and peppermint. Pulling him closer you lost yourself within him, the feel, the smell, and the touch of him.

Kissing him was like finally finding the last piece of your puzzle, the way both of you fit perfectly together amazed you. He tasted like heaven and heaven tasted like home.

---------------------------------------------

Felt like I could’ve added more, but its already long.

I hope you enjoyed this piece.

Also if ya made it to the end comment which Why Don’t We guy I should do next.

#daniel seavey #daniel seavey imagines #wdw #wdw imagines #why don't we #why don't we imagines #seavey #jonah aesthetic #jingle bells daniel seavey #🐆

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scribbling-stiks · 3 years

Text

AAR - XXVII - Reports of the Missing

'In through nose, out through mouth.'

Russia shakes slightly and tries his best to calm himself down. Finally, when his blurry vision calms, he shakily stands and searches the room for America. As soon as Russia spots America, he makes a beeline for him. He wants to wrap his arms tightly around America but ends up standing behind him. Russia tries to keep himself under control, forcing his arms to his sides.

Being close to America did make him feel a little safer.

Canada shouts for a roll call. As soon as it was over, Finland and Dixie barricaded the exits.

America examines Maryland's hands and sighs. America turns and jumps when he sees Russia.

"Jesus!" America shouts before groaning, "I'm going to have to get used to that."

Russia's eyes fall to the floor. He shakes off the guilt as best he could and his concern for Maryland returns.

"How's Maryland?" Russia asks.

"Her hands are still numb, but I don't think there's anything I can do. I don't sense any physical or magic injury," America says, worry in his tone.

"That's not good," Russia comments.

"Yeah. Right now, we might just have to wait. If we're lucky, it's temporary. It should be, I don't sense any nerve damage."

Russia nods and jumps a foot in the air when movement approaches him from his right. He spins around and sees Texas standing behind him with a startled look and an outstretched arm.

"Whoa howdy, are you alright?" Texas asks, taking a step back.

Russia sighs.

"I'm fine," Russia insists.

America turns to Russia and gives him a skeptical look but he shakes it off.

"Mare," America says, turning back to his daughter, "stay close to Illinois and tell me if anything changes, okay?"

Maryland gives a shaky sigh and turns around, walking off. Illinois takes Maryland into a hug and helps calm her down. America sighs and his shoulders slump. America turns to Russia and latches onto his torso. He hugs for a moment before pulling back and looking Russia over.

"Are you hurt?" America asks.

Russia shakes his head. "Are you?"

"No, I'm fine," America says with a shaking tone with a sigh.

Russia takes America's hands to his chest and America leans against him on top of their hands. Their foreheads touch and Russia sighs. He opens his eyes and admires America's face but jumps back when he sees motion in his peripheral vision.

"*God d*** it,*" Russia mutters under his breath.

"You're being pretty jumpy, are you sure you're okay?" America asks.

'No.'

"Yes, I'm fine," Russia says.

'I don't want to bother you.'

"You don't need to worry," Finland chimes in from the corner, cleaning one of the guns, "we won't let anything get in."

Russia nods and smiles at those around him. Most of the kids look skeptical of him, but even then, they look more trusting than they had been before.

'Why do they look like that? What did they see through the door?'

Someone puts a hand on his shoulder and Russia stiffens, spinning around. He comes face to face with Dixie, and he steps back. Dixie's face scrunched up for a second before offering Russia a neutral expression. Dixie opens his mouth to say something but doesn't get the chance.

Then someone hugs Russia from behind. Russia holds back the instinct to elbow the person for a moment and he hears America giggling. A squeak emits from the back of Russia's throat when America lifts him up off the ground.

America marches them over to his mat and he dumps Russia onto it. Russia laughs.

"Rue Rue, you need to warm up," America says, waggling his finger with his hand on his hip, "don't want you to get sick."

America turns to leave and Russia reaches out, wanting to ask him to stay. But Russia changes his mind drops his arm.

'The kids need him more than I do right now.'

Russia carefully takes off the scarf and tosses his jacket to the side, wrapping himself in a fuzzy blanket and putting his back to the wall. He carefully scans the room, taking stock of everything in the building.

Someone sits beside him and Russia jerks, spinning around to stare at them. He tries to calm himself down.

Colorado smiles from next to him and North Dakoda sits on Colorado's left.

"Heya Russ."

Russia smiles. "Hello."

"So... could you tell us about what kind of stuff you guys saw when you were gone?"

"From before?"

"Just start from when you left the house."

Russia thinks back and his memories begin to swirl.

'It has been such a long time since I've seen the big house,' he realizes. This thought comes with a bittersweet feeling.

"When we first left the house," Russia begins, "we tried to track America's location with magic, but that only brought trouble."

"What do you mean?" Colorado asks.

"We didn't find America. We found monsters that crawled like spiders and one of them jumped off a cliff. We also saw..."

Images of the confusing sights he had seen in the trees flash in his mind.

"Stairs."

"Wait, stairs?" Iowa interrupts.

Russia jolts up a little and he looks around in shock. He sees that instead of only having a few states sitting around him, he is the epicenter of a huge group. He watches how all of the states, provinces, and countries sit around on mats and blankets, listening to every word.

"Yeah," Massachusetts says, "They were clean and covered in white carpeting."

"That's bull," Alabama says with crossed arms.

"No, it was real," Texas emphasizes, "I started walking over to it before I even knew what I was doing. Russ over here stopped me before I touched 'em."

Russia nods in confirmation before continuing.

"We were attacked by monsters and we started finding cameras when we started exploring a cave system. When we got deeper, the walls started shaking. We tried to escape when a rock fell and trapped us inside."

Russia raises his arms to emphasize the shaking.

"It almost crushed me," Canada adds, and the provinces crowd around him with gasps.

"Then there was the knocking on the walls. It led us out of there. Kind of," Texas says.

"What do you mean 'Kind of'?" Delaware asks nervously.

"Well, it led us out onto a ledge and the ledge crumbles," Russia says, "we fell into the trees."

"You fell?! From where?" America squeaks.

"I'd say 20 stories up. I was crashing down and thought I was finna die," Louisiana adds, "I just remember waking up in a tent with Texas sleepin' next to me."

"Ute found us," Canada says.

Colorado cheers, "See, I told you it was a good idea!"

"Then, we were kidnapped," Russia says, and the children go quiet.

"And Texas wasn't feeling too good neither," Louisiana adds, "'pparently he was havin' some bad weather and it was making him sick. We had to hold back for a little while."

Texas looks away, his hat hiding his face. "'m sorry Dad. I tried to keep lookin'. I tried."

"Tex, you couldn't even f***ing stand," Massachusetts snarks, "and we weren't going to leave you behind."

"I was not going to let you walk into a trap when you couldn't defend yourself," Russia defends.

"Was still a trap anyway," Texas mutters.

"All of you, come here," America demands, gathering Louisiana, Massachusetts, and Texas into a hug.

"Dad, we're okay!" Texas says, "we're all okay."

"Don't you dare tell me not to worry!" America exclaims, "you shouldn't have been involved. You guys almost died! I am allowed to dote on you for a few minutes."

Massachusetts rolls his eyes but doesn't pull away.

"We were attacked by a bunch of dead animals. It was gross," Russia says blandly, his nose wrinkles, "and a bunch of monsters came out to drag us down into the mineshaft that we were looking at."

"I tried to shoot one of 'em and it ricocheted back at me. It hit me in the shoulder," Texas explains, rolling up his leave to show off his patch of scar tissue that contrasts drastically with the skin on his arm.

"Tex, I don't know who you're fooling, but that ain't a bullet wound," New Mexico remarks.

"Well, I don't remember much," Texas admits, "but it hurt."

"The monsters started digging into your shoulder," Russia elaborates with a shiver, "I tried to hit the one holding me to help you, but I cut myself."

America winces.

"I tried to disinfect everything, but Russ' hatchet still had stuff from the animals, so I didn't have much luck," Louisiana says.

America spins to Russia and stares with wide eyes and even Finland looks surprised.

"No wonder your leg was so bad," America mutters.

"Then we found Finland and were trying to find you based on your magic," Russia says, looking at America.

"Did you find him?"

"Dude, shut up. Don't be a dumba**."

"America found us," Russia admits.

"Phil is the only reason I actually came to investigate," America says, and Philippines shows a bright smile.

"I'm glad you did," Canada says, "we were in a pretty bad spot."

"Then we got out of the caves into a building. We think it is a military base," Russia says, "Massachusetts got a phone and he called you."

The states nod and soon, questions begin flying around the room, and Russia tries his best to field as many as he could.

The stories are still worrying, but talking about them was a good distraction from the slime still sitting outside.

America stands up and hugs Canada tightly. After a few minutes, America leaves Canada to his providences and walks over to Russia, smiling softly.

"You guys went through a lot," America mumbles, leaning his head on Russia's shoulder, "I'm happy we all made it out okay."

They sit quietly before America sits up a little.

"Have you talked to your dad?" America asks.

Russia shakes his head.

"Well, you should. You promised to tell him what we found, right?"

"Yes, I did."

"You should do it. Maybe not now, it's loud. But you should call him later tonight."

Russia nods in agreement. America sighs and Russia laces his fingers in America's and smiles. America leans up and kisses Russia's chin. Russia leans his head on America's head and relaxes. Chatter surrounds them, and Texas and Massachusetts loudly go into detail about what they had been through. Russia tunes them out the best he can and smiles at America.

'Hopefully, we will find something to stop this,' Russia thinks, 'I just want to go home with Meri.'

Table of Contents

#rusame #ch russia #ch america #statehumans #countryhumans

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wisdomrays · 3 years

Text

TAFAKKUR: Part 437

THE MYSTERY OF HIBERNATION

Hibernation or ‘winter sleep’ how and why it happens is one of the mysteries of nature that has fascinated observers since the time of Aristotle. It occurs in some form, to some degree, in all vertebrates except fish, if we define hibernation, for the time being, as the act of resting in a dormant state in a protected burrow.

Hibernators are intensely active in summer. A part of that activity is building temporary burrows for summer use only. Ground squirrels, (Spermophilus citellus) for example, can build hundreds of such temporary shelters over a single summer, on average 15 shelters in a 10m2 area of open field. These shelters have only the one nest compartment, usally between 30 and 50cm below ground level. By contrast, their shelters for hibernation, sometimes as much as 3m below ground level, are intended for long, repeated use and contain a number of compartments-one for storing large quantites of food (usally dry seeds), one for use as a ‘toilet’, and a third for sleeping.

Before hibernation, animals prepare themselves for the hardship of the very long period of cold by storing up large amounts of fat in adipose tissue under the skin, up to some 40 % of total body weight. These fats are composed of fatty acids which typically have ten or fewer than ten carbon atoms and are consturcted with some double bonds between the carbon atoms of the chain and their esters with glycerides. These compounds provide the ideal energy source needed during hibernation because lipids yield twice the energy yielded by carbohydrates and proteins. Moreover, these fatty acids need very little oxygen in their degradation/conversion to energy.

Blood circulation and homeostasis during hibernation are not well understood. The animal steadies body temperature at around 2Â°C to 5Â°C: in mammals the body temperature remains about 1Â°C above environmental temperature. Usally, when body temperature falls to this level, metabolic rate is increased or the animal awakes, but during hibernation this does not happen. Metabolic rate at 5Â°C is usually 2-5% of the rate at normal body temperature. For example, the active heart rate of the genus Myotis of bats is between 500 and 700 beats per minute. During hibernation the rate goes down to 20 beats per minute at 5Â°C, and 8 beats at -7Â°C. Two consistent and characteristic changes are found in blood during hibernation: an increased production of herapin, which may be contributing to a reduction in the risk of blood clotting during very slow circulation, and an increase in serum magnesium, for which there is no explanation as yet.

Many different types of respiratory patterns have been observed during the state of hibernation. We will mention only one example here: The hedgehog, at a body temperature of 5Â°C, does not breathe at all for an amazing 56 minutes.

In controlled observations, it has been found that animals which hibernate show improved retention of learned behaviour compared to non-hibernating animals. Again, it is not at all clear why this should be so.

Hibernation is not a prolonged period of constant torpor. There are periodic arousals during winter caused by the accumulation of metabolic end products or having a full bladder. The awakening process is often assisted by shivering, especially when the body temperature is very low. Awakening is a costly process because it takes as much energy to wake up as it does to stay in hibernation for ten days. The ground squirrel, Spermophilus citellus gains around 150-200 g of fat before hibernation. That is more than enough for the energy being used up during sleep; the excess is needed for the wakening up intervals which occur fortnightly.

A number of hypotheses have sought to explain how hibernation is triggered-changes in weather and climate, temperature, humidity and change of diet are among the suggestions. Apart from these causes, a protein was isolated from the blood of a hibernator bear in the USA in the 1980s which, when injected into rats appeared to induce sleeping behaviour in summer. Today it remains uncertain if this protein is the only stimulator of hibernation. If it is, we still need to know what other conditions are related to the protein level and its effect and how the level of protein is maintained at the right level during the animal’s life cycle.

What is already securely known about hibernation establishes it as a truly amazing physiological phenomenon. It tells us that the body temperature of some hibernators will passively adjust ambient tempeature from between 2Â°C to 32Â°C without causing awakening. The inevitable question is what advantage such behaviour affords the hibernating animals. Some small animals, because of their high metabolic rates are faced with an acute need for a continuously available supply of food and water. Controlled investigations show that dormant animals at cool temperatures lose much less weight than the non-dormant ones. It has also been shown that small animals can survive for at least a hundred days on the energy derived from ten grams of fat. Hibernation is, in other words, a survival technique, an adaptation to the conditions of poor or non-existent food supply during the winter months.

That is, however, something of a mechanical explanation which, even as a mechanical explanation, is far from satisfactory. The secondary question immediately arises of why this particular adaptation and not another-why not migration, for example, to areas where winter does not affect food supply so drastically? There are many birds and other animals which take this option.

A more satisfying explanation must surely consider what adaptability itself is, how it relates to the variety of life-forms, to the individuation of species and kinds, and to the overwhelming intution (which must touch any truly objective observer) that, at levels of subtlety and intricacy which defy comprehension, the survival and provision of each and every living form is minutely arranged and co-ordinated to create a whole that is thoroughly interconnected. The value of that whole is manifested in many different aspects-beauty, variety, efficiency, the rich warmth of life. Is it not impossible to resist the impression of a wonderful generosity within and behind the world of living forms?

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disneysholland · 4 years

Text

false god - t.h.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warning(s): some references to sex

Summary: Based on False God by Taylor Swift.

The chilly London air greeted me with a blast as I hopped off the plane. It was a great difference from the warm weather that New York had been experiencing the past few weeks and about knocked me off my feet. London was always dreary and cold and I shouldn’t have even been surprised at this point.

Almost every week for the past three months I’ve flown from New York to London to see my boyfriend, Tom. We were definitely lucky that we could actually see each other this often, considering the fact that an ocean separated our homes. It was getting dull though, spending every weekend cooped up in his house, not wanting to go out and risk being seen by prying eyes.

At this point, I had my routine in the airport down to a science. I’d grab my bag, then call an Uber and get some coffee while I waited, scoping out the food section. The whole thing was done in under 20 minutes.

I watched as my Uber pulled up and I hopped in, giving her Tom’s address. Luckily, it wasn’t very far of a drive and I was walking up the drive in another 20 minutes.

Tom was already waiting at the door when I went to knock, his lips on mine in an instant.

“Well, hello to you too,” I grinned, dropping my bags on the floor and letting myself get lost in his embrace.

“I missed you,” he mumbled against my neck, placing kisses all the way down my chest.

My fingers tangled themselves in his hair, bringing his face up to meet mine.

“I missed you too.”

Those were the only words exchanged between us before we stumbled our way to his room, clothes flying off of our bodies as we moved through the house.

There was no going back once I felt the sweet comfort of the bed against my back. Heaven was our next destination...

---

Hours later and the mood had changed significantly. Tom had stopped paying any attention to me and we both retreated into our own little worlds, Tom entranced by whatever was outside the window and me watching his every move instead of laying with me on the couch.

“You’re staring at me.” He commented without looking back at me.

“Come over here and lay with me, baby.”

He cleared his throat, picking up his phone. “I’m okay over here right now.”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I huffed, pulling the blanket off of me and stomping out of the room. Something had drastically changed between us the last few weeks. I’d arrive, he’d practically worship me for a few hours, and then act all cold afterwards.

A few minutes later I heard footsteps from behind me.

“Why are you so mad at me?”

I flipped around, “Me? Mad at you? Look at yourself! You haven’t given me even a glance in three hours!”

“Because you’re mad at me and I don’t know why!” His hands flew out in frustration.

“Tom, I’m not mad at you. I’m just...frustrated. I feel like the past few weeks we’ve just been going through the motions, I’m afraid we’ve lost ourselves,” I admitted, tears springing to my eyes.

Tom let out a breath I didn’t realize he was holding, “Darling...I’m sorry.”

He walked over towards me, taking me in his arms, the tears falling freely finally.

“I don’t want to lose you,” I mumbled against his chest.

“I can’t lose you. I love you too much. We need a reset or something, a change of scenery perhaps,” he pulled back slightly, brushing a lock of hair out of my eyes.

“That would be nice...and maybe you could come to New York sometimes instead of me coming here, it would be a good change of pace.”

He placed a kiss on the tip of my nose, “Whatever makes you happy, darling.”

We happily padded back over to the living room, sitting on the couch, ready to share stories from the week. For the first time in a long time we laughed together, we smiled.

Maybe this isn’t just a false God.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction

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kieraswriting · 4 years

Text

Fangs and Cold Weather

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Masterpost

The light sides seemed to be trying to acce… tolerate Deceit more now. He had been officially allowed into their side of the mindscape, but that didn’t stop them from flinching every time they saw him. Patton had offered the sunspot to Deceit, but that didn’t disguise the displeasure on his face when he went into his room to find Deceit in it. Roman had promised not to pull his sword on him, but that didn’t stop his hand straying to the pommel. Logan nodded at Deceit to acknowledge his presence, but that didn’t mean he was willing to talk with him yet. Even Virgil had agreed to be civil, but really, that just meant he got better at avoiding Deceit.

Deceit hated it.

It had been better before, when he knew they all disliked him. Now, with all the promises that tasted so strongly of lies and half truths, the next move was placed on his shoulders. He had to be the one to decide whether he would try to get closer or pull away. And he hated it.

Was this what had happened with Virgil? Had he been forced into this position as well? If he pulled back, he’d only be confirming the title of Disney villain they seemed all too ready to give him. But if he tried, really tried, and messed up, it would be even worse than that.

And the worst part was that he actually wanted to try. He wanted to be accepted. To see Thomas without the forced roles standing between them.

He knew it couldn’t happen. Thomas didn’t want to see him. Rarely even found him useful for anything but keeping the dark sides in check. And Morality sides even farther against him. No matter what Patton may think of Deceit as a side, the function of Morality would always despise the function of Deceit.

But there was still a part of him that wanted it. Wanted the casual affection that Patton gave the other sides.

Even if he knew he couldn’t.

He had to be the strong one. The others all counted on him to be the strong one. The one to control and manipulate. If he gave into his weakness, even for something as attractive as the warm affection and acceptance, he’d be letting them all down. He’d be failing Thomas.

But oh how he wanted to.

••^*^••

Remus popped up in Deceit’s room. It was much warmer than the rest of the mindscape, mostly because of a heat lamp that was pointed directly at the bed. Deceit was a snake right now, curled up in the middle of a nest of blankets and pillows.

It was winter, or rather, it ought to be, so Remus had made the mindscape cold. Cold enough to turn his fingers a beautiful shade of blue. Maybe they’d fall off! Wouldn’t that be fun!

Deceit languidly raised his head to hiss at Remus.

“Dee dee! I came to see if you would play in the snow with me. I can make it yellow, just like you!”

Deceit hissed.

“Oh, come on! It’s fun!”

Deceit hissed again, his mouth opening slowly, as if he were an old, old man trying to threaten Remus with biting him. Remus wasn’t scared of Deceit’s bite, and even if he was, Deceit could barely move.

Remus scooped up Deceit and sunk out, appearing in the Imagination. Remus made the snow yellow as he had promised, and scooped out a hole in it. Like a snow grave. He laid on his back and looked up at the sky, which seemed to match the color his fingers had turned. Remus glanced over at Dee. They had barely played ten minutes, but he wouldn’t move any longer.

“Fiiiine,” Remus whined. “I’ll take you back.”

Barely were they back inside when Remus felt a prick on his arm. Deceit’s eyes were still shut, but one of his fangs had barely punctured the skin.

“Dee dee! That’s not fair! I was already taking you back and everything! Now I have to figure out where to put you, or you’ll discorporate and be mad at me. And I have to find where to put myself, because discorporating won’t even be worth it if I have to be unconscious the whole time!”

Remus sunk down and popped up in front of the door to the light side. Since Deceit was close to unconscious, this would be easier. He summoned his favorite drill, which still had congealed blood and bits of bone on it, and drilled a hole in the bottom of the door. Then he shoved Deceit’s head and part of his body through. The hole wasn’t big enough for the widest part of his body, not with as stiff as he was, but it was close enough. Remus could feel heat pouring out through the hole, burning his fingers.

He went to his room, changing the temperature to be a normal--boring wintery temperature. More like 30 degrees than the -20 he had been keeping up all morning.

“All alone again,” Remus said, laying on top of the stuff covering his bed. “As always. Sorry, Dee dee…. I just wanted…..”

••^*^••

When Deceit came to, the first thing he noticed was that he felt both frozen and on fire. It took him several minutes to realize where he was, and that the drastic temperature difference was the reason for his pain. He struggled to pull himself through.

The warmth of the light was side was welcome, but it was too much at once, and burned his nearly-frozen tail. He writhed against the floor, praying that no other side would happen to come by.

Eventually he adjusted. He shifted back into his human form, collecting his dignity from where it had died on the floor. He adjusted his hat and shivered.

He couldn’t leave the hole in the door, but it would use the rest of the scant energy he had to close it up. He compromised by leaning against the wall for several minutes before sealing it.

He stumbled into the common room, hoping for a throw blanket or five. Instead, there was a fireplace, with a fire in it. The commons was also empty. He gasped, unconsciously letting out a happy hiss as his tongue flickered out. There was no lie. It wasn’t an illusion or a trap.

He grabbed a decorative blanket from the back of the couch, swirled it around his shoulders, and sat down on the floor in front of the fire.

Between the warmth on his face, and the mesmerizing movement of the fire, his eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and eventually slipped closed.

••^*^••

They all stumbled inside, snow coated and panting. Roman snapped, and all the coats vanished, replaced by festive sweaters. The snow boots vanished with another snap, replaced by warm slippers.

“I’m going to make us all some hot chocolate!” Patton said, his face red and happy.

“I would be willing to assist,” Logan said, and despite his stiff words, he too seemed to have enjoyed the snowball fight.

“Then you’ll help me set up the movie!” Roman said, draping his arm over Virgil’s shoulders, careful to be light enough that Virgil could shake him off if he wanted to.

But Virgil smirked at him, “Only if I get to pick the first one.”

Roman grinned, “Within reason.” He walked into the living room only to jump nearly a foot in the air as he realized there was some dark personage sitting in front of the fire. “Holy—! It’s just the snake.”

Virgil had jumped away, and now came back around the couch.

“Deceit, what are you doing?” He said, shaking his shoulder.

Deceit blinked several times before looking up at Virgil. His face was shockingly open. “I think it’s pretty clear I wasn’t asleep.” He stretched, turning so that his back was now to the fire.

Patton then came out of the kitchen, holding two steaming mugs and followed by Logan, also with two mugs. “Oh! I’ll have to make one more.”

“Yes, I will intrude on your evening. Please bother with that.” Deceit said, already standing and turning to leave.

“You don’t have to leave, kiddo,” Patton insisted.

“Thank you. But yes.” Deceit sank out.

Roman looked around, they all felt a little off now. Patton handed out the hot chocolate, and they started the first movie.

Once it was over, Patton stood up. “I still want to make him a hot chocolate.” He rushed to the kitchen and came back moments later with a large mug, steaming, and with a mound of marshmallows on top. “Logan, can you help me get this to him?”

“Certainly.” Logan accepted the cup and walked out.

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to go into the dark side before,” Patton said musingly.

“Can’t you?” Virgil asked.

“I can, but it’s really difficult, and it doesn’t feel good. Logan can go over there almost as easily as Deceit, though.”

••^*^••

The instant Logan phased through the door, he felt the chill. It was nearly as cold in here as it had been outside. He walked around until he found the yellow door.

Logan knocked, hoping Deceit would answer before the chocolate became cold.

The door opened, revealing Deceit, who seemed smaller than usual, and his face was clouded, as if he were having a hard time recognizing Logan.

“Patton wished me to give this to you,” Logan said, holding out the cup.

Deceit accepted it, instantly curling his hands around it to absorb every bit of heat. “Would you make sure not to tell him I said thank you?”

“I will.”

His mission complete, Logan should have returned to the commons, but something held him back. He knew that Deceit wouldn’t accept an invitation to join them, but perhaps there was something else.

“If you want, I can ask Roman to make a place beside the commons, something heated. You could stay there for the time being. It’s absurdly cold down here.”

Deceit didn’t say anything, but the desire to say yes was so plain on his face that even Logan could see it.

“I’ll ask him anyway. Whether or not you wish to take advantage of it, it will be there.”

••^*^••

It had only taken as long as it took for the cup to cool after the chocolate was gone for Deceit to decide.

He just barely poked his head around the edge of the stairwell. The light sides were crowded onto a couch, covered in blankets. Beyond them, there was an open doorway carved into the wall, draped with a gold blanket instead of a door.

Deceit looped around, hoping not to disturb the others. Virgil turned his head halfway, and Deceit knew he was watching him in his periphery. He nodded, to acknowledge that he knew he was being watched, then quietly made his way to the blanket.

The room was the size of a large closet. From the heat lamp on the ceiling came light and warmth, and as Deceit sat down in the pile of blankets, he realized that they were heated as well. The walls were black, with yellow stars in a regular pattern, and the blankets were bright yellow.

Deceit dug himself into the pile and melted in the warmth.

It was much later when he remembered that he still had to do his work. He could hear quiet talking and occasional giggling through the blanket. So it was still the same day.

He sunk out, down into the dark side. Immediately the cold stabbed into him, hurting just as much as it chilled. He got the anti venom from his room and went to Remus’s.

Inside Remus’s room seemed even colder, and it was covered in blood. Guilt seeped into his mind as he realized that with all he’d been worried about his own situation, he’d been neglecting Remus. Remus always was at his worst and most destructive when he was lonely.

Remus was laying on the pile of everything disgusting he liked to call a bed. His eyes were open, but his breath was almost nonexistent and he wasn’t even shivering, although all of his exposed skin was blue.

Deceit felt for a pulse and was surprised at how cold his wrist was. Normally Remus was hotter than the other sides, but now he was colder than Deceit. He… he might not survive this one.

Deceit used the anti venom, and Remus blinked.

“Why… wa’... m’up?”

“You’re too cold,” Deceit said, trying to sit him up.

Remus lolled his head to the side. “ ‘s hot.”

“No. Not it’s not, Remus. Listen, I need you to warm up. Can you put the temperature up?”

Remus limply lifted a hand, before dropping it. He shook his head. “S’ry.”

Deceit frowned. He wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t change the temperature on his own. He doubted, even if he managed to bring him, that Roman could control things down here. He couldn’t bring Remus to the light side, the shock from the rapid temperature would kill him.

Remus smiled faintly. “Bye… dee…”

Deceit held Remus close. It was the only thing he had left to do. He should have come earlier. He should have come much earlier.

“When you come back,” Deceit said. “Come find me first, ok?”

“ ‘kay,” Remus nodded. His face twisted, “ ‘s hot, dee.”

Deceit clenched his jaw as he felt Remus get lighter. He knew Remus didn’t care about discorporating, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch. Especially when it was his fault. Remus could have changed the temperature himself of Deceit hadn’t bitten him. He would have been fine. Mostly fine, anyway.

Remus’s eyes closed.

He began dissolving. Bright dust floating up and into oblivion. Deceit held on until the last of him was gone. It would be days before he reformed.

Deceit went around to all of the other sides, ensuring that they were alright. Shortly after, the temperature started a slow climb, freed from Remus’s direct influence.

It had been a long, long day. Deceit was all too ready to flop into his bed and shut out the world.

••^*^••

Part Two

••^*^••

Thomas heard the familiar sound of someone popping up in his living room. He glanced away from his pan and was surprised to see Deceit standing there.

“Hi, Deceit. Did you need something?”

“Can I just leave for a bit?” Deceit said, his voice surprisingly normal, even raw.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Is something wrong?”

Deceit slumped down at the table. “It won’t be over soon anyway.”

Thomas turned off the heat and split the food onto two plates. He sat down next to Deceit and handed one to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

There was a long pause. “Yes.” Deceit said, shoveling a bite of the pasta into his mouth. “It isn’t good.”

The two ate mostly in silence.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Thomas asked, worried about what it could be that would get Deceit so down.

Deceit looked up at him, his hand moved closer to Thomas, and his mouth opened, but then he retracted the hand, his mouth shut, and he looked back down. Thomas had seen this behavior several times with Virgil, and knew what it meant. Deceit did indeed think that there was something Thomas could do, but didn’t want to ask for it for some reason.

“I mean it,” Thomas said. “I want to help you. I just don’t know how.”

Silence stretched out for several seconds. Deceit looked out from under the brim of his hat. He started to say something, but it seemed to stick in his throat. Then he said something else. “You couldn’t go sit on the couch.”

Thomas felt his eyebrow raise, wondering at how this could help. But he did it. Deceit handed him the remote, and then went to clear the table. Thomas realized that he fully intended to wash the dishes. He still wasn’t sure how this would help, but he put on a show that he guessed Deceit might enjoy.

Since there were only two dishes and a pan, doing the dishes didn’t take any longer than fifteen minutes.

Shortly after the water turned off, Thomas’s attention was drawn by a soft hiss. Deceit, as a snake, butted his head against Thomas’s knee, and then pulled back slightly, as if he were waiting for permission.

Thomas leaned forward and held out his hand. Deceit slithered up Thomas’s arm and over his shoulders, looping back to put his head just under Thomas’s chin. Thomas reached up and rubbed a hand along the thick part of Deceit. He still didn’t know if snakes liked being petted, but based on previous experiences with Deceit, it seemed that he liked it.

“Is this helping you feel any better?” Thomas asked.

Deceit hissed softly, and Thomas felt him push his head up into his chin. He decided to take that as a yes.

Thomas relaxed back against the couch, and just enjoyed the movie, feeling Deceit melt into him as he also relaxed. Eventually, he fell asleep.

••^*^••

When Thomas woke up, it was to a much greater weight on him than he had remembered. He had laid down at some point during the night, and Deceit, now in his normal form, was laying half on top of him to avoid falling off the couch. Deceit’s hands were wrapped into fists, and held close to his chest, and his hat had fallen off onto the floor. Thomas felt like he was seeing a vulnerable part of Deceit, one that he hadn’t ever intended to show.

Thomas breathed in deeply and yawned. Maybe he’d go back to sleep.

There was a twitch from Deceit, and suddenly he was jumping back, nearly stumbling over the table, his eyes wide and panicked.

“That— Nothing happened!”

Thomas felt a strong urge to tease Deceit, but he knew that that would only ruin the little trust Deceit had given him. “What? I don’t remember anything.”

“N-Nothing happened,” Deceit again insisted.

“No, I agree with you, I can’t remember anything happening,” Thomas said, stretching. He sat up and yawned again. “Since we haven’t spent much time together, do you think you’d want to have breakfast with me?”

Deceit blinked. His face was so completely dumbfounded Thomas had a hard time keeping from laughing.

“I wouldn’t enjoy that. Thank you.”

Thomas smiled. “Great! I’ll go ahead and make something.”

While he was cooking, Deceit sank out, and came back twenty minutes later, when the food was close to done. He was wearing new clothes, though they still looked the same, and had showered, if the smell of soap was anything to go by. He had put his hat back on, and was all smooth and polished again. Not quite the sneering villain he had been when he first began showing himself to Thomas, but not the open, hurting person of the night before.

The breakfast went smoothly, but Thomas couldn’t help but feel as if he were eating with someone who was pretending to be a stranger. When they had finished, said that he had work to do and sides to take care of, and sunk out before Thomas could ask questions about either.

••^*^••

It took two days for Remus to return, but the instant he did he was hurtling towards Deceit in a ball of energy.

“Dee Dee! Dee Dee! Did you miss me?”

Deceit had warning from the yelling, but still nearly got bowled over when Remus launched himself into a hug.

“No.”

“So what are we going to do now that I’m back?” Remus asked, wriggling all over with excitement.

“Yes, because my name is Creativity, and I make the best games,” Deceit responded with a smirk.

Remus paused only for half a second to think. “I want a hook!”

“For your hand, or fish?” Deceit asked.

“Not for my hand, instead of my hand. I’ve always wanted to try it. We could cap it over the nub, or maybe connect it right to the bone!”

Deceit hated that idea, but he knew he couldn’t say that. “But that wouldn’t be a waste of a perfectly new hand. If you don’t wait until you’ve used it a while, it’ll be better then.”

Remus pouted, but thought for a bit longer. “What about if we went and fought a whole army of zombies! And then if I get bit, I’ll turn into a zombie, and I’ll get to—“

“Remus.” Deceit interrupted. “You haven’t only just come back. What if we picked something that results in certain harm?”

Remus pouted again.

Deceit had one ace. Only one. It had never failed, but that could be because he only used it in a desperate situation. Now seemed like the time to use it.

“I won’t go challenge Roman if you want.”

Remus jumped up and down. “Yes! I’ll make the battlefield immediately. What if the whole ground were jello? And what if I get to have his castle if I win? And I’ll make his army turn into zombies!”

Deceit smiled. “Write up the terms, and I won’t deliver them.”

Remus launched himself at Deceit again. “You’re the best, Dee Dee! And you’ll be on my side?”

“Never.”

“As a snake?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

••^*^••

Deceit rapped on Roman’s door.

When Roman answered, an eyebrow was already raised. Deceit only knocked like this for this reason. Most of the time, he’d rise up directly in the room, or knock softly, but challenges required a level of decorum.

Deceit first gave a short bow, then raised his chin, looking Roman straight in the eyes. “The Duke formally declares war on the Prince.”

Roman’s eyes lit up, and he summoned his sword.

“I have brought the terms of battle,” Deceit continued, handing Roman the paper.

Roman snatched at it. “Wait here. I’ll write a response.”

He sat down, skimming quickly over the paper. He waved his hand, and his desk cleared. With a snap, Roman summoned a quill and paper. He wrote furiously, then folded and sealed the letter.

“Tell my brother I’ll meet him in an hour!” Roman said, his voice at its most pompous and most excited. “Are you to be his second?”

Deceit nodded.

“Then I’ll also bring a second.”

Deceit gave another short bow and left.

••^*^••

Deceit had been informed that, in a match with seconds, which this battle had indeed turned out to be, the seconds were supposed to go out and meet first.

The battlefield had become a compromise. It looked like a grassy field, with a large circle in the middle, and a short line in the middle of the circle, but as soon as Deceit stepped into the circle, the ground stopped being solid. It was stiff, ish, and bouncy. It took him several awkward steps to figure out how he was supposed to walk on it.

At least, looking across, Virgil seemed to be having the same difficulties.

Deceit walked to one side of the line. He had arrived sooner than Virgil, and spoke loudly.

“Virgil! Strongest of all the sides. It’s truly a pleasure to do battle with you.”

Virgil hissed. “Yeah, well eff you too.”

Deceit continued smoothly as Virgil made his way to the other side of the line. “Yes, I can see exactly why Roman chose you to be his second, especially with the rules for the seconds.”

Virgil’s head popped up, his eyes clearly showing that he clearly wasn’t aware of the rules. That was good, since Deceit didn’t either. He could have broken open either of the letters he had carried, but honestly, it was better not to. Anything that happened in the Imagination could be reversed anyway. No need to worry needlessly.

As soon as Virgil reached the other side of the line, the twins appeared at the edge of the circle, both running, and seemingly unimpeded by the strange ground. They both bounded across, causing the whole field to quiver. Deceit managed to keep his footing, but only barely. Virgil had finally figured out how to balance, and was less affected than Deceit was.

Remus arrived first by half a second, slinging his arm over Deceit’s shoulders. “You’ve talked?”

Virgil scoffed. “Sort of.”

“And the conclusion?” Roman asked, his voice loud and formal, fully entrenched in his Prince persona.

Deceit knew the answer both twins were waiting for.

“Battle.”

Deceit immediately shifted and looped around Remus’s neck and shoulders, holding on tightly.

As he expected, he was shaken around so much he couldn’t tell at all what was happening, other than the clanging of weapons, and the jerking around that Remus was doing. This was what usually happened for the first little bit of the fight. In a minute they would stop, and he’d be able to see things that weren’t blurs of motion. At that point, things typically got weird.

When Remus sank into the ground up to his waist, Deceit was finally able to see what was going on. Both Roman and Remus were trying to affect the imagination, and currently at a brief stalemate, but Virgil was being surrounded by a thick black cloud.

As soon as Roman let go of his hold over the ground, Remus went flying up into the air, almost knocking Deceit from his shoulders. Then the cloud around Virgil came flying toward them, and Deceit couldn’t see.

“Dee, help me!” Remus said.

Deceit wrapped himself around the arm that was holding the Morningstar, and pulled in the direction that he could sense the other sides were. Remus swung wildly, but in the general direction that Deceit was trying to point him to.

“How can you see?!” Roman yelled.

“Deceit can sense heat,” Virgil yelled back.

“Even if he couldn’t,” Remus crowed. “I can still hear you!”

Deceit felt the arm jar as the Morningstar connected to something, but there wasn’t any cry of pain, so it probably wasn’t one of the sides.

Suddenly there was a hand on his neck, tugging him away. Remus wouldn’t have done that, so Deceit felt no guilt in biting down on the hand.

He had drained his venom before he had come into the imagination, so he knew that there wasn’t much going into whoever grabbed him, it shouldn’t last more than an hour or two. The hand, rather than letting go, only gripped tighter, and pulled him off of Remus’s arm.

Deceit squirmed wildly.

“Damn snake!” Roman said. And there was the truth. Just a bit longer then.

“What?” Virgil asked, sounding farther away than Deceit would have guessed. He needed to get his sight back.

“He bit me!”

Deceit was surprised, and worried, that he hadn’t heard anything from Remus. He could tell that he was still there, but why wasn’t he saying anything?

Deceit thrashed. He shifted back into human form, wincing as the hand on his throat was now able to cut off his air. He struck out wildly, feeling very satisfied when his fist connected with flesh and Roman grunted, loosing the grip on Deceit’s throat.

“What is blinding me?” Deceit demanded.

“As if we’d ever—“ Virgil scoffed.

“Shadows.” Roman said.

“Remus! Make a light!”

Soon Deceit was blinking his eyes. The grass had turned a searing neon orange, and was glowing brightly, leaving no shadows.

“That is horrendous!” Roman protested, but then his hand fell away from Deceit completely, and he swayed back. “What—what is—?” He slumped to the ground.

Almost instantly, Virgil had Deceit on the ground and his fist cocked back. “What did you do to him?!”

“He’ll be fine!” Deceit insisted. “There was only a little venom.”

“If you’re lying-“ Virgil threatened.

Deceit looked around for Remus. It was unlike him to be so silent for so long.

Then he spotted what couldn’t be anything other than Remus. It was a butt. On the ground. Deceit felt his face go slack with distaste. Roman had indeed planned well. Remus would never willingly shapeshift himself out of a form like that, but while in that form he was practically useless.

Deceit, ignoring Virgil, tried to shapeshift Remus back to normal. It was easy for him to change his own shape, but much more difficult to change others. Before he could do it Virgil punched him in the face.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Virgil said.

Deceit glared at Virgil, shifting and trying to slither away, but Virgil was too fast, and already on top of him. After struggling fruitlessly, since Virgil knew enough to grab him at the back of his head, and he couldn’t bite him, he shifted back.

“I don’t have anything—“ Deceit ducked away from another punch. “-against you.” He rolled, managing to get out from under Virgil. “Let’s stop until they wake up.” He suggested, motioning toward the two who were supposed to be fighting the battle.

Virgil paused. “How am I supposed to know whether you’re tricking me or not?”

Deceit frowned. He didn’t know. “I’m not. It doesn’t break a rule for us to wait for them.”

“How am I supposed to know that? What are the rules, anyway?”

Deceit shrugged. “I didn’t see. All I know is that we can’t leave the circle until someone admits defeat. And… various tidbits about duels that Thomas knows. But you know those as well.”

Virgil frowned, but he dropped his fighting stance. “If you’re lying I’ll sic Patton on you.”

“Oh, the horror!”

They had to wait a good hour before Roman woke up.

When they explained to him that they were sitting the rest of the fight out, he shifted Remus back to normal and the two went at it with fists and weapons, and soon, all manner of… things… weird imagination creatures and objects that they launched at each other. There was also a fair amount of shapeshifting going on.

Thankfully, the twins made sure that no stray shots hit either Virgil or Deceit.

Then Remus started calling down fire and blood and bladed weapons by the dozen, and Deceit let himself get ‘trapped’ in a box by Roman so he and Virgil could take Remus down. They somehow managed to knock him out, and then let Deceit out of the box.

“We yield,” Deceit said, using the formal voice and bowing. “The territory is yours, Prince.”

The earth trembled slightly as the boundary line of the imagination shifted, giving Roman one of Remus’s provinces.

“I will warn you,” Deceit said, smirking, “That the town is currently under a zombie epidemic.”

“What?!” Roman exploded.

Deceit waved, and sunk himself out with Remus.

••^*^••

“Did you not enjoy yourself?” Deceit asked.

“I got to be a butt.” Remus replied.

Deceit sighed.

“And I got to fight with three other people.” Remus added. He wriggled underneath his blankets, and Deceit did not want to know why.

“Yes,” Deceit said, “though I’m very sure why I bothered.”

“Because I died. You always get all clingy when I die. I should do it more often.”

Deceit narrowed his eyes. “Please do. I’m staying.”

Just before he closed the door though, he heard a “Thanks.” from inside.

#more than the sum of our parts #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #platonic demus #platonic thomceit #character!thomas #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders

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