dogtheories

[dogtheories]

Hsu Hao, on a scale of one to ten how would you rate your pain?

Now dont you go on worrying about me i dont want anyone to worry about me or what im going through but it is a 10

[dogtheories]

so boooored

#soda.txt

[dogtheories]

meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowwww

#soda.txt

[dogtheories]

i hopeit turns out that im really shit at forklifting so i dont have to do it anymore

#soda.txt

[dogtheories]

i dont wanttttt tooooo have to wake up at 7am for a week to do a forklift courseeeeeeeeeee. that goes from 8.30am to 4pm for a week. and its an hour away

#soda.txt #i dont think i even get to drive a stupid forklift for like 2 or 3 days out of the 5 days. bullshit

[dogtheories]

awawawawa so bored so sleepy

#soda.txt

[dogtheories]

t shirt that says Niche microblogging influencer who has kind of fallen off recently

[dogtheories]

maybe I don't want to watch my stupid show anymore I just don't care

#soda.txt

[dogtheories]

Slipping back into my hater habits here i never ever ever want to read another post about how great dungeon meshi is and by that I do just mean the posts that are just like about how great dungeon meshi is. those posts that are like "What makes dunme so powerful is that everyone loves to eat which is why it's so terrifying to go hungry. The terror of starvation is what feeds humanity's inherent love of consuming" that kind of post. maybe people just shouldn't just rhapsodize about dunme because it seems to just always turn into a dense nuclear core of the worst tumblr sentimentality you would've thought even the absolute whitest common denominator would find corny by now. sucks

#i never want to read another post about dungeon meshi full stop #i haaate it i will never watch it. fuck you i hate cartoons

[dogtheories]

Fandom "person" trying to decode new information about reality: Erm. Okay. So... What I'm getting here is that Chairman Mao was basically like the Griffin McElroy of the communist party

[dogtheories]

ordered burrito yay

#soda.txt

[dogtheories]

Artist: Erik Pirolt

[dogtheories]

my friends at wnyx the number 2 am radio station in new york

[dogtheories]

Losing or Doing poorly in a video game is morally reprehensible

[dogtheories]

Barry (2018-2023) wow (S04E08)

#sallyyyyyyyyy

[dogtheories]

[dogtheories]

1. a couple months ago a publicist invited me to a concert and i accepted her invite and she said she’d add my name to the guest list. the night of the concert i was feeling a little tired and not entirely up for walking all the way to the venue and standing around listening to a band i’d never heard of. but then, as i was making dinner, i thought, “why don’t you pretend this is a date night with bill hader?” i realize this is an insane person thing to think. i do often go to concerts with friends; i am not in the habit of pretending bill hader is accompanying me to concerts. but that night i did put on the band’s album and pretend that bill hader was dancing around the kitchen with me while i cooked. and then i pretended that bill hader threw his arm around me on the walk to the venue and walked slower than usual because he’s taller and his paces are longer than mine. then i got to the venue. and i told the lady in the ticket booth that i was on the guest list. and i gave her my name. and she handed me two tickets, and she said, “here, for you and your plus one.” i was all alone in front of the box office. there was no one else around. at no point leading up to this had the publicist mentioned giving me a plus one. i laughed a little to myself at the idea of Imaginary Bill Hader being given his own ticket and then i went inside.

2. on the way home from acting class tonight, a long walk in the cold, i came upon a diner lit in warm golden hues, and i hadn’t eaten all day, and it looked irresistible, so i went inside. “for one,” i said, and the hostess said, “do you want to eat at the bar?” and i said, “no thanks, could i sit at a table?” and i was ushered to a table for two. it was a pretty busy night and i was kind of self-conscious about being the only person eating alone so i was like, “well okay i’ll just imagine i’m on a date with bill hader again haha.” and so i sat there and enjoyed some very good sweet potato ravioli with chestnut-cream sauce, and what was perhaps the best cheesecake i’d ever eaten in my life, all the while imagining bill hader seated in the empty chair across from me. and then at the end of the meal, my waitress came and cleared away my dessert plate, and she looked at me, and then she looked at the empty chair, and then she looked back at me, and then she said, “are you paying separate or together?” again, the other seat was empty. i had been sitting at this table fully by myself for the entire duration of the meal. the waitress had come by the table perhaps five or six times over the course of the hour, seeing me completely alone. and i said, “sorry?” and she said, “separate or together?” and i said, “…together?” and she said, “cool, do you need the machine?” and i said, “yes” and she brought the machine over and i paid, because my dinner companion, despite apparently being visible to my waitress, was imaginary bill hader. 

#sigh