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schrodingerscougar · 2 months

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Part two for this one. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger in the first part. The illustration is from the amazing @ave661 .

Four months. That’s how much time it took Simon to get out of that hazy fugue state. He didn’t really remember what he had gone through during that time, his brain switched to autopilot after the breakup. He often wondered why it affected him this much when he didn’t even love you. You were just someone he spent time with, someone he tried to play house with for a short while to feel normal.

Still, now as he lay on his bed, watching the ceiling fan rotate to stir up the hot air in the room, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He even found himself opening a social media app to search for your name from a fake account he had set up a long time ago, and he was shocked to see the most recent photo of you. It was impossible to miss the unmistakable shape of a baby bump under your shirt, and based on its size, you got pregnant long months ago.

When he was finally allowed to go home for a short while, Simon went to see you. He knew he had hurt you, he knew you were probably still mad at him, but he had to know if it was his child. It only happened one time. One night when he tried to fix things by giving you what you wanted, hoping sex could make him see you in another light. Maybe he would finally want you the way you always wanted him to want you. But it didn’t work, and it was after that night he made the final decision to end things with you.

“What do you want?” you asked him when you opened the door.

Simon nodded as he bit the inside of his cheek. This cold welcome was fair enough, he deserved this kind of treatment. Normally, he would have left you alone. But normally, you would have told him you were pregnant.

So he silently pointed at your belly and waited for you to realize what he wanted. He knew you weren't dumb, the pieces would fall into place in a second. And sure enough, you let out a sigh then opened the door wider to let him in.

“Why didn't you tell me?” he asked you as he stood in the kitchen next to you with his arms crossed.

You were busy making him a cup of tea, but you took the time to silently shrug. When he let out a heavy sigh, you looked over at him and said, “I didn't think you'd care, Si. Simple as that.”

You were right. He didn't care. Even now that he was looking at you, his eyes occasionally moving to the bump that hid his own blood, his mind was somewhere else. He was a soldier, he knew how to take responsibility for his actions. You getting pregnant was his fault too. He couldn't just ignore the problem.

“I’ll pay child support,” he assured you.

“No need.”

Simon reached out to put a hand on the base of your neck, but you quickly pushed his hand away before he could touch your skin. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

You inhaled through your nose and held your breath in for a few seconds before finally exhaling. “So what? You’re gonna be around and help us? Take her to a doctor’s appointment or for a stroll around the block?” When you saw him looking down at his shoes, you couldn’t help but snort. “Thought so,” you said.

“I’ll better get going. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Months flew by, but Simon barely noticed. He was on a mission again far from home, risking his life as usual. You never called and he didn’t force it. He accepted that he would have to live with the guilt of making this happen. Since you didn’t want to accept child support, he opened a bank account where he stored that money, hoping that one day he could give it to you or his daughter when she became old enough.

One day he checked your social media accounts like he had done a few times before, just to see how you were. This is when he saw the post in which you announced the arrival of your baby girl. He didn’t make a big deal out of it at first. She was born and she would probably ask about her father one day. If he was still alive then, he would gladly give her a toned down explanation. If not… Well, he left everything to her in his will.

Eventually he began to save the photos of his daughter and he often found himself looking at them. She was adorable, some of her features resembling his own. Her big brown eyes were definitely his; the color and the shape were both so familiar to him.

No one from the team knew about this part of his life. He had never told anyone, because why would he? They were close, they were his brothers, but you and your daughter were carefully guarded secrets in his life. Simon knew the real reason why he never talked about you; he was afraid of the judgmental looks and words.

Two months later, when he entered his apartment again after another round of deployment, Simon didn't really know what to do with himself. He ended up looking at his daughter's photos more and more often and eventually he made up his mind to give her a visit. It had absolutely nothing to do with you. He was doing this for the little girl.

You weren't welcoming but, once again, he couldn't blame you. “I just want to see my daughter,” he said softly, hoping the two of you could avoid fighting.

For long moments you were cautiously watching him, as if you were trying to decide if he could be trusted or not. But then your eyes fell on the big teddy bear he was holding with one hand and you let out a sigh of defeat.

On the way to the nursery, you didn't talk at all. The silence didn't bother him, but still he would have appreciated some words about the little girl he was about to meet. Was he allowed to pick her up? Did she like to be held? How was she? Did she have stomach ache often? Were she teething?

“Be quick,” you warned him when you stopped by her crib.

Simon let out a sigh. “Come on, don't be like that.”

You just rolled your eyes at him before taking a step back to lean your shoulder against the doorframe, arms folded over your chest, eyes watching his every move like a hawk. He found it a little too much, he hated that you didn't trust him. Sure, he hadn't given you many reasons to trust him, but for the sake of your daughter you should have tried.

With a sigh, he rested an elbow on the side of the crib and reached out to touch the baby as gently as he could with his other hand. His own flesh and blood. It was amazing, really. Without asking for permission, he picked her up and couldn't help but smile when the baby smiled at him.

Now that he was holding her close to his body, placing soft kisses on her head every so often, Simon couldn't deny that he already loved his daughter. There was an invisible string between them, something that brought her closer to him that anyone has ever been.

The baby giggled suddenly and it brought an even wider smile to Simon’s face. He could only hope you would let him see her as often as he could visit, but something told him it wouldn't be easy to convince you.

“She likes you,” you suddenly noted.

He put down the little girl then turned to you. “The feeling's mutual.” A faint smile appeared on your lips. “Can I see her some other time?” You nodded. “Thank you. If I can help with anything, just give me a call or send a message. I'll get back to you as soon as I can,” he offered.

You been to walk out of the room and he quietly followed you, waiting for you to say something. He didn't really know what he was expecting to hear, but he had a feeling you were holding back something. And sure enough, after a few minutes of silence you began to talk, scolding him for not even bothering to send at least a text to ask about her before suddenly showing up.

“I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd read them.”

“I'm mad at you, that's true,” you agreed.

Simon leaned against the doorframe as he watched you pace in the living room like a caged animal. He remembered those nights he had spent thinking about on deployment, the moment he saw that photo of you, and he realized that maybe he was missing you.

But how could he miss someone he didn't even love? Or had he developed feelings for you, feelings he tried to hide even from himself? It was way too confusing for him, and he didn't like to be confused. It was a weakness on the field and in his civilian life.

“I should go. If you need anything–”

You came to a halt, turned to him and nodded. “I know where to find you. But can I ask you something?” Simon motioned you to go on. “Why now? Why did you become interested in her all of a sudden?”

He let out a thoughtful hum as he put his hand on the back of his neck. “I saw the photos, how much she looks like me, and… I don't know.” You took a few steps closer to him, but you still kept a comfortable distance. “I've been saving money for her. I want to give you access to that bank account.”

“I don't need your money,” you were quick to say.

“It's for her. Please, accept it.”

You became mad at him, accusing him of assuming you couldn't take care of your daughter you'd been raising on your own from day one. He knew there was no point in defending himself, you were too lost in the hate you felt for him. So he just waited there in silence, letting you finish your speech.

Then, the moment you seemingly finished, he closed the gap between the two of you. He didn't know what he was doing, he just followed his instinct when he leaned down and kissed you. This was probably the first time he truly enjoyed kissing you, and it helped a lot that you were quick to return it.

Maybe this was why he wanted to come here today. To fix things. To try to get a family he'd been craving ever since he lost his own.

(part three)

#ghost #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #call of duty #simon riley #mw2 #mw3 #modern warfare #simon riley x reader

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chaoticace2005 · 2 months

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Where the fuck did Pentious’ Eggs come from??

(A list by Angel Dust at 2 am at the bar.)

1. He laid them then did some fucked up shit to them.

2. Laid them and they came out fully formed???

3. Ate a ton of eggs, got sick and then shat them out??

4. Boiled them in some fucked up chemical.

5. Was trying to make hard boiled eggs but was just REALLY bad at cooking.

6. Some eternal punishment because he was a dick to chickens when he was alive.

7. He has a chicken trapped in the basement (do we have a basement?) that he forced to lay eggs for him.

8. Bought them at the store.

9. He died by drowning in eggs and now has the power to make sentient eggs.

10. He just really likes eating eggs and wants easy access to food.

11. Made a deal with the Easter Bunny.

12. They’re ancient beings that already existed and decided to follow Pentious of their own free will (which WHY?!?!)

13. They’re GODS.

14. Pentious turns his enemies into eggs, taking their intelligence (what he does with it is unknown, cause he clearly ain’t using it)

15. They’re robots!!

16. They’re orphans that Pentious found and adopted.

17. He stole them from some chicken themed overlord.

18. Really REALLY bad sinners (like Nazis?) become eggs as punishment.

19. It’s what happens when you give eggs crack.

20. They’re his imaginary friends (wait then how can I see them?!)

21. They’re high and none of this is real. (FUCK! You don’t have to throw something at me Husk!)

22. I’m not high but I AM mentally ill.

23. They’re what happens to bad kitties who say that “OF COURSE” I’m mentally ill.

24. Maybe they’re NISS’ kids. Cause he’s a spider. So he can lay eggs??

25. Wait. IM a spider. I could lay eggs! What if they’re MY kids?! FUCK I DONT WANNA BE A DAD!!!

26. Does this mean I have to pay child support?? Cause I’m broke.

27. Have I killed my own kids??

28. Do I need a lawyer?

29. How does Husk feel about being a step father?

30. Fuck I really need to go to bed. Or do crack.

31. Kid, what the FUCK is this list??

32. NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel memes #angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #sir pentious #egg bois #egg boiz #husk #huskerdust #hazbin hotel husk #husker hazbin hotel #stupid hazbin hotel lists #hazbin hotel crack

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x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x · 2 years

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I'm a little sad I didn't get to do things like go to prom or have a real graduation but hey guys I just remembered I'm technically a high school graduate now

#my mom asked me if I wanted to graduate and she might hold off on actually signing the papers for another year #just so my dad has to keep paying child support 💅 but yeah no by public school timeline I'm graduated #oh I'm homeschooled btw. this sounds weird without that context. my mom isn't like forcing me to not graduate #she simply needs to submit paperwork saying I am a graduate and she may not do that yet #bc I could also duel enroll in college classes for another year and I might #but that requires not graduating lol

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cooki3face · 3 months

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what you need to hear right now: channeled from spirit

message: I love this type of art, I have tons of it on my Pinterest but anyway that's sort of beside the point, I feel called to do a message but I feel very low on energy within as of late. I want to try and keep this one short, sweet, and clear. As you know, especially if you're a light worker or intuitive, shifts within the collective, within energy however it comes are always felt first by us. If there is a symptom of change, I'm feeling it 10x over so that I can prepare to relay that information to the collective because I would honestly consider myself to be a vessel. As I cope with my life and my own human experience I am also in the process of collecting important information so that I can guide the collective effectively and let me tell you, I've been through some SHIT with the opening force of 2024. Anyways, enjoy the reading and I pray that you find what you're looking for and what you need with me in my space today.

"we've been watching you juggle both the physical and the spiritual within your hands for the past couple weeks, you may feel as though your worlds are colliding your the sky and the ocean has folded over with you in the center. There comes a time in one's life when the elements that make up their world must come into alignment and fuse with one another. You were told to learn what it meant to be a balanced individual, and so as you completed and closed off karmic lessons and overcame blockages you became closer and closer to equilibrium and these moments now are crucial as what you had needed all long is on its way to be delivered to you. You've been learning what it means to manage your time, manage your energy, and spread yourself where needed to obtain the results you desire. You have one foot in the spiritual realm and one foot in the physical world. Your development as of now is so incredibly important and we're supporting you in your journey forward.

Things may appear to be slow, backed up, or difficult at this time but movement is coming in quickly and to be expected soon. You've planted your seeds to receive and as you deserve, you shall. within the next two weeks for some of you and even a couple of days for a select few of you, things will begin to move forward or pick up momentum. Set your intentions straight and make sure that they are unwavering. there is success on the horizon, whatever is difficult or isn't working out for you that will change. You've grown so much, and your only job at this time is to nurture yourself and your manifestations, show yourself grace, ask for healing, ask for closure, and ask for the necessary tools to care for yourself as one should. And become clear and aligned with whatever you are manifesting, and put yourself in the position to receive by doing the work on your end and meeting us in the middle with your will and your gratitude. If there's a will there's a way even if you don't have everything in the world to offer in exchange. Come to terms with your power and the part you play in your world.

A select few of you are royalty within the spiritual realm you are kin of spirits who are highly respected and praised in the beyond and that is why the pile you chose depicts the divinity of a matriarch holding her child. Look for gold jewelry and gold trinkets and items if you choose to go out shopping or collecting. You feel called to build something or may have an idea, honor your ideas, and put actions behind what you desire to reap. Those of you who know that you are divinely protected are being heavily watched over and shielded, there could potentially be gossip by those of whom you've left behind or parted from but their tongues will be stilled when they speak of you they summon your spiritual court ( your ancestors, your spirit guides, guardian angels and all deities who call out to you and respect you.) their karma is sharp. Pay no mind to any negative energy sent to you by others. They talk only because they want to be paid great attention to but the audience lies in front of you and the universe's love and support is more than evident on your side.

You are about to succeed heavily, many things will be given to you, prosperity and congratulations are in order, the people will see. you are in a position to receive well in your finances, so well you will be able to give to others or keep your abundance in full cycle forward and back to you. We once told you that you would be compensated greatly for your hardship and the spiritual council has spoken and reached a solid verdict on your reward and the size and volume of the gifts you're about to receive. Do nothing but nurture thyself and expand from this point forward. be easy with secureness in your good fortune, do not let your fear or your anxiety eclipse you there is no purpose for any of it."

II.

"You asked to be free of the things that threaten to hold you hostage and one of the biggest of those things happens to be you. It's time for change and it's time for growth. As you step into the new year you have no choice but to be reset now after years and months and weeks of being broken. You need to be able to heal properly. It's time to come clean and be honest. There are many things within your life that have made lasting impressions on who you chose to be or what you chose to do for your survival even at the expense of others, even those you held dear to you. The process of living an honest life is not an easy one. It is easier to be deceptive, to use your pain as a weapon, or to do what you need to do to survive even if it means stepping on others in the process or not meeting the needs of those you've awoken to you. It is hard work to be in alignment, it is hard work to always take accountability, it is hard work to look at your shadow and truly acknowledge it, you know more than anyone."

interception: I'm getting the energy of the film "warrior" with tom hardy in where he plays a character named tommy who ends up having to fight his brother for a large reward in a wrestling championship. He was a marine in the military and has childhood trauma that shapes the way he presents himself to others and navigates in his interpersonal relationships and of course what his goals and purpose are in the film, I'm not going to spoil it for you but if this is your pile, I recommend you watch it. it's on Netflix. it also really does a good job of highlighting an aspect of ourselves that we carry in our spirits to marry ourselves to our trauma or particular factors of it to hide from troubling or conflicting emotions or circumstances. things that are "inherently" bad or negative in theory but can look "desirable" or "acceptable" to us because our motivation for accepting it happens to be a heavily skewed one.

" It's time you finally free yourself from your karma, from your vices, from your shadow, and from aspects of yourself or your life that threaten to keep you stuck or stagnant. You can't take with you all of these things into the new year, into the new world, into your new life. The devil is in the details and he has done nothing but hold onto your ankle this entire time. It is your responsibility to make the changes that you've been asking for or craving. You may fear loss or the reality of the damage you've caused, the opportunities you've put yourself in the position to lose. You will sit with yourself, you will look at yourself in the mirror or you will suffer and continue to do so under the hand of your own decisions. What you are owed in compensation for a hard life cannot be received if you cannot put yourself in the position to receive them. There's a need in life for personal given grace as well as accountability for the part we play in events and circumstances that take place in our lives, take time to self reflect, forgive yourself, show yourself grace and in turn find the courage to communicate with those you've wrong and/or begin your journey forwards.

In our lives, the consequence we bare the burden of however heavy the weight is never the full and eternal end there is always something after. You've proven yourself to be resilient, to be a force. Use your strengths and allow them to will you forward into the next chapter of your life. Someone significant in your past could've heavily admired you or seen in you things you could not see in yourself as they were able to sense higher beings in others however troubled their karma was. The love they had for you is the love you are about to receive from yourself. The things they saw in you that you could not see you are preparing to embody in full. Ace of pentacles upright for you here signifying abundance coming to you when you are able to open yourself up to receive it all. remain committed to your cause."

III.

"You're seeking out personal closure or looking for solutions to an issue that you don't have on end. Don't make the mistake of running from completion or leaving doors ajar because it is difficult to close them shut you know what you need to do. You need to make the proper investments for your life, you need to work for your improvement or to receive the life you have felt you were entitled to all along but the mistake you've made along the way all this time is attempting to take short cuts and be strategic, deceptive or ingenuine in your method to try and deceive. You are used to putting on a mask or trying on costumes to appeal what others desire from you so you can receive the result you prefer from them, their approval, their support, their validation. Your biggest enemy is the closet full of masks you've accumulated they work against you, they push people away, they scare people of value, and they mislead as you've asked them to. Your life and it's events however unfortunate or difficult have existed to serve you a purpose and put you on your righteous path forward in alignment with your highest self and the life they live but instead you've sharpened it and allowed it to be used as a weapon against others and against yourself.

put your strengths and your adaptability where it's needed and not into being a sheep in wolves clothing or traveling through the night in such a way in which you won't be seen. Abundance will come for you and doors will open up for you where you set your intention and where you are unwaveringly honest and true. Reflect on your choices, your habits, and your behaviors in order to decide what needs to be changed and what needs to be improved and do it honestly this time and set the intention to change it not make another mask of it and store it away for another time. It is not your place to control the way everyone looks at you and how you are perceived or if they are willing to give to you or not. You control or manipulate what does not belong to you from places of fear you store deep within you and it is time to heal and ready yourself to move forward and leave a karmic version of yourself behind. Pack up the things you need to bring with you and be rid of the rest. Do not be resistant to change you must move."

#self love #self care #self improvement #self discovery #dream girl #self expression #healingjourney #self healing #manifestation #divine feminine #divine masculine #pick a card #tarot readers of tumblr #channeled messages #channeled message from spirit #what you need to hear right now #pac #pick a pile #tarot lessons

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auteurdelabre · 6 months

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STORY MASTERLISTS!

Something to Fight For (COMPLETE)

For readers 18+ only please!

After a disastrous blind date you decide to stay away from the miserable Joel Miller forever. The only problem is your best friend Maria is dating his brother and their construction company has been hired to renovate where you work. In an effort to support your friend, you’re thrust into the unwanted job of babysitting Joel’s young daughter one night. As time goes on you’re not expecting to find a confidant in Joel Miller but when you do, you wonder how you ever survived without him.AU LOU universe with no outbreak. A slow burn slice of life love story with smut.

Please, Mister Miller? (COMPLETE)

for 18+ readers only!

Summary: After being dumped by your longtime college bf, your roommate Sarah Miller invites you to her hometown for the holidays. There you meet her dad and decide you need to know if he’s as good in bed as he looks. (General warnings: Infidelity and unprotected p in v)

Code Broken (COMPLETE)

for 18+ readers only!

"You broke into my house," Joel says moving his gaze from your eyes back down to your mouth as his wide hand grazes his belt buckle. "Moved my shit around. Least you could do is be polite."You only wanted to pull a silly prank on your neighbor, Joel. Who could have seen it ending up like this? [AU where Joel Miller ends up in Jackson City by himself.]

Dare to Surrender (COMPLETE)

for 18+ readers only!

You can’t stand Javier Pena but when Steve Murphy makes an off-hand remark that gets both you and Javier’s competitive sides going, there’s no telling how far you’ll go.

So Much to Lose - ONGOING

For readers 18+ only please!

summary:

Newly settled into Jackson city and forced to go on patrols with the miserable Joel Miller sets off a chain of events and encounters that have you questioning everything, including your own heart. note: Featuring Dark!Joel

SLEEP (COMPLETE)

When you meet Joel Miller beside his blue truck one hot, sweltering day you're not expecting a bloody adventure to await you.

Part 1 / Part 2

A Little Sun (IN PROGRESS)

for 18+ readers only!

As a PA to megastar and mega man-child Dieter Bravo you've had your fair share of headaches. Getting accidentally pregnant with his baby however takes the cake, especially when he offers to pay you to be his surrogate. You just weren't expecting to fall in love with him along the way. (plot prompt inspired by 'Daddy Dieter' by @absurdthirst on Ao3 - read their story, its really wonderful!)

THE BLACKMAILING BABYSITTER CHRONICLES (ONGOING)

You're a babysitter to many of the families in your small town. When the father of one of your charges makes a move you see an opportunity to make enough cash to leave after college graduation.

- Chapter one - Mr. York -

- Chapter two - The Plan is Made -

- Chapter three - Mr. Morales -

- Chapter four - Mr. Miller -

- Chapter five - Mr. Martell -

- Chapter six - Mom's boyfriend -

- Chapter seven - The Finale -

BRAVO! TAKE A BOW Series - ONGOING

Summary: As a struggling actress you’re amazed when you land a role in an indie film you’re dying to be a part of. What you’re not expecting is to develop feelings for your mega famous and often exasperating co-star Dieter Bravo rated 18+

1- Audition

2- Chemistry Read

3- Table Read

4- Rehearsals

5- Lights, Camera, Action!

WINDOW DRESSING - (ONGOING)

Rated 18+

Resolving to achieve professional success within the CIA you embark on a ruthless game of one-upmanship against your work nemesis Dave York, a rivalry that is complicated by your growing attraction to him. [loosely based on The Hating Game] (AU universe - Dave is divorced and still working for CIA)

Chapter 1: Codebook - COMING FEB 14th

Chapter 2: Black Bag Job

Chapter 3: Clandestine Operation

Chapter 4: False Flag

Chapter 5: Raven

Chapter 6: Burned

Chapter 7: Compromised

Chapter 8: Window Dressing

Someone to pass the time with -(ONGOING)

rated: 18+

Feeling guilty about so often being out of town on business you encourage your loving boyfriend to find someone to pass the time with. When he does, you're not expecting for things to get so out of hand. Pairings: Reader x Javi G x Dave York

Part 1 - It's a He

Part 2 -For you, Javi

Part 3 - Meeting Dave

Losing our Minds Together - ONGOING

For readers 18+ only please!

summary:

As an artist by trade it's only natural that you'd agree to give your young neighbor Ellie drawing lessons. You just weren't counting on her stoic father Joel Miller getting under your skin... or becoming your muse. [AU LOU universe with no outbreak. A slow burn slice of life love story with smut, romance and more.]

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Please, Mister Miller?; THE SEQUEL ONGOING

for 18+ readers only!

After a Christmas holiday you won't soon forget, you find yourself unable to move past your time with Joel Miller, your best friends married dad and the man you think you may just be in love with.

Phone Calls with Mister Miller

Dinner with Mister Miller

Talking with Mister Miller

Spring Break with Mister Miller

Long Distance with Mister Miller

Graduation with Mister Miller

Texas with Mister Miller

THOSE WHO CANNOT DO

Summary: Frankie and Santiago have been through a lot during their friendship and have always come out the other side. But when both of them fall for the pretty new schoolteacher (YOU), it pushes them both to their breaking point. for 18+ readers only! pairings: Frankie x f!Reader / Santiagoxf!Reader

Chapter one: Acceleration

Chapter two - coming soon

Chapter three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter six

Chapter Seven

Chapter eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter ten

Daddy Morales - (COMPLETE)

for 18+ Readers only!

Summary: A distraught Frankie drives you home after babysitting. You cheer him up.... and then you keep cheering him up all over town. [General warnings: Infidelity and Daddy kink]

Part 1 - Drive Home

Part 2 - Pit Stop

Part 3 - No More

Part 4 - Too Late

Part 5 - The BBQ

PALPATION (rated 18+)

Part 2

Part 3

AS LONG AS YOU WANT (PG-13)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 - finale coming May 2024

ONE SHOTS

A Secret Kind of Pain [Frankie Morales x f!reader] (rated 18+)

Poker night over at Benny’s tests the amazing burgeoning relationship you have been hiding with Frankie Morales.

Say, Thank You. [Dave York x F!Reader] (Rated 18+)

After driving you home from babysitting his kids, Dave York has a proposition for you that you just can’t refuse.

Joel's Eyes (rated 18+)

based on the prompt by ashleyfilm: I don’t know if you take requests but I love your writing and I’m dying for a slow burn in post outbreak Jackson. Joel and fem reader strangers to friends to eventual lovers. Reader is in love with Joel from the beginning and is like him strong silent type but with a heart of gold. Lots of pinning and then a surprise when it turns out Joel pines for her too and Tommy and Ellie know that he loves her. Maybe some jealousy thrown in before soft dom Joel to sub reader smut. Then a snippet of them together after confession of love so you can hear what other towns folk think about them. Anyway, if you don’t take asks that’s totally cool and I look forward to reading whatever you write! :)

PALPATION (18+)

You need a massage and thankfully a new place opened up a few blocks away… There you’re introduced to the deliciously professional RMTJoel!Miller. He makes you feel good… maybe too good? (AU - NO OUTBREAK)

FALLING IN LOVE SERIES

How I imagine these characters fall in love. Rated: G

Joel Miller

Javier Peña

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look-at-the-soul · 14 days

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Every little thing you do- Part 5

Tommy Shelby x reader

Series master list

I changed slightly what I already had written after reading someone’s comment on the previous part 🤭 I always love reading what you think, sometimes it even sparks an idea or two… 🥰

Word count: 3,213

Y/N walked excitedly through the Shelby Company headquarters. She was granted with the permission to open the Shelby Institute, it was incredible how much Tommy’s contacts helped her speed up the process. Now she’d need to interview and recruit teachers, cleaning personnel, a couple of secretaries and enroll the children for the upcoming school year.

But as she got closer, Tommy’s shouting became clearer.

“Don’t fucking try to trick me, Lizzie.” He warned.

Then Y/N flinched when Lizzie raised her voice. “What’s your fucking problem then? If I sleep with Angel, his father or his cousin it’s none of your business!”

“Of course it’s my business!” He exploded. Anger raising at the thought the Changrettas getting sensitive information from his secretary, Lizzie had a big mouth when she wanted to. In more ways than one. “How much is Changretta paying you?”

“So you can choose who I sleep with,” Lizzie spat, “but you are covering Y/N’s pregnancy and treating her as if she was a Shelby!”

She was now able to understand all the secrecy around Tommy’s confident, why suddenly everyone wanted to make sure she was alright, why she was around more frequently. The thought of Y/N fulfilling all the dreams that belonged to her, made Lizzie go mad.

What was happening with the Changretta family? Y/N wondered as she overheard the heated exchange coming from Tommy’s office. The last thing she knew about them was when Danny Whizzbang was falsely killed in front of the Italians. But that was a few years back.

“I know her parents kicked her out.” Y/N heard Lizzie again. “What? You thought I wouldn’t find out? So now you’re pretending to be the perfect little family?”

That’s why Scott disappeared overnight. Lizzie wondered for how long they’ve been fooling everyone.

“Since when do I have to give you explanations, ey? You’re not answering me! What have you told Angel about us?” His hands shook her shoulders abruptly.

“Oh please! Don’t give yourself that much importance, the last thing we do is talk about you. And you don’t have the right to question my decisions, when you’re supporting Y/N and her bastard.”

That last statement was enough for Y/N to feel her blood boiling.

“Repeat that in my face. I dare you.” She opened the door with such force that it slammed against the wall behind. Lizzie paled.

Tommy recognized that look, he barely had time to react and intercepted Y/N midway.

“Y/N calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Y/N shouted, if it wasn’t for Tommy she would’ve already slapped Lizzie. “I’m tired of this, everybody thinks they can call my child bastard just because I’m not married.” She had to bite her tongue to stop her from telling a truth or two to Lizzie. She rarely got angry but once she did, there was no going back.

“Lizzie get out, I don’t want to see you.” Tommy barked as he tried to help Y/N to sit down. Then he realized they had an audience outside his office. “What are y’all doing there?! Go back to work!”

Once he had her settled on the couch, he offered Y/N a glass of water.

“Don’t let her words sink in. It’s bullshit.” He tried, but Y/N was still altered.

“She from all of the people, dares to point her finger at me.” Y/N said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. “And just because I thought Scott was-” she trailed off.

“You’re much better without him, you know that right?” Tommy crouched down, to be at her level.

“Will this ever stop?” Y/N’s voice cracked by the end, emotions at its highest.

“I’ll shoot anyone who dares to say anything like that again.”

His hands tried to calm her trembling fingers. His words managed to earn a small smirk from her, Tommy’s words managed to make her feel better momentarily. But she couldn’t help but wonder for how long she’d be able to deal with comments like that. She’s need to create a shell around her, a thick skin as Ada had told her. Give zero fucks about others people’s opinions.

“It’s like I’ll have it tattooed in my forehead for the rest of my life.”

“What the hell happened?” John demanded to know.

“Get some men to follow Lizzie, she’s been seeing Angel Changretta and we don’t know what kind of information she’s been giving them.”

“Ah the brat!” John made an annoyance face and stormed off.

To try to calm the anger raising, Tommy poured himself a glass of whiskey, not wanting to snap at Y/N for the previous altercation with Lizzie.

The Italians had always give him and his people a bad blood, they thought they were better than anyone else. And in the long run, a relationship between his secretary and one of the Changrettas would bring him more problems than good. Lizzie knew way too much about the business, he couldn’t just fire her.

He needed to find a loose end, something to stop them, to show his power over the Italians. He needed a plan…

Love and sex are a dangerous thing, people get blinded by it and he could’ve a snitch under his nose, he needed to be more cautions with the people he hired and make it clear the unwritten rules and conditions to work for him.

“I should’ve told you sooner.” Y/N mumbled, feeling guilty.

“You knew?” The frown on his brow intensified.

“Not exactly, but one day she started making weird comments about a date and her love life and oh this incredible man…” Y/N shook her face. “I thought she was just bluffing.”

“Yeah you should’ve. But it doesn’t matter now…” he trailed off going for a glass of whiskey, it was still early but he felt like a lion in a cage.

Y/N noticed the way his mind was working, already anticipating to endless possible scenarios and outcomes. Then he paused to rest his arms against a chair and let his head hang loose. The straps of the holster tightened around his shoulders and back, his muscles flexed under the shirt.

“Are you jealous?”

Tommy’s head snapped at Y/N’s words. Taking him by surprise.

“As if you didn’t knew me, you from all of them.” Tommy scoffed, but his eyes softened. “Really? You think I’d be jealous for Lizzie?”

Y/N blushed embarrassed for asking something so intimate. It wasn’t her business.

“Forget I said anything.” She looked in the opposite direction.

“Look at me.” Tommy pleaded with a deep voice. “Lizzie… is not the type of woman that would make a man jealous.” How could he say it nicely? Lizzie was a whore, he didn’t judge her though… But he tried to be cautious with his words.

It took Y/N a moment to register what Tommy meant. But she got the hint wrong. “I get it… just like me, right?”

Mortified, Tommy placed his hands on her shoulders. “No, no that’s not what I was trying to say.” The last thing he wanted to was to hurt her.

“Sure.”

“Y/N…” Tommy whispered, using his forefinger to tilt her head up. “You’re different.”

“The only difference is that she gets paid.” Y/N shuddered, accepting her new reality.

“That’s not true and you know it.” He was too close for her to smell his aftershave and cologne.

His thumb caressing softly her chin.

Shaking her head, she took a step back, but the bold movement made her feel dizzy, her head started spinning.

“What is it?” He asked with worry. “Are you alright?”

Y/N let him guide her to the closest chair. “Yes, it’s just this dizziness, it will go away in a minute.”

But despite Y/N’s efforts to calm him down, Tommy got worrier by the minute.

“Do you need anything?” He eyed Y/N, trying to read her expressions.

“No, thanks.”

“Y/N tell me what I can do for you.” Tommy kneeled before her.

The way he showed her that he genuinely cared about her, melted her heart. Having Tommy’s support meant to her more than words could express.

“I swear I’m fine.”

“Are you feeling poorly?” Polly stepped into Tommy’s office.

“She got dizzy.” He answered for Y/N, looking at his aunt.

“I’ll make you some tea.” She announced before giving Y/N a gentle squeeze on her arm. “Keep her with her head up until it pases, then bring her to the house, I need to speak to you.”

Polly’s look didn’t go unnoticed by Tommy.

He knew those eyes and something was happening, and judging by the look in them it had to be serious.

“I just came to tell you that you can set now the date to open the Institution as soon as we get the personnel.” Y/N announced with her eyes still closed.

“That’s the best news I’ve heard today.” The smile he gave her, was inevitable. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I don’t think you want to go through the interviews and stuff.” Y/N raised her eyebrows at him.

“No.” Tommy answered bluntly.

“That’s what I thought.” She gave him a smile that made him notice something else in her features, something that she didn’t have before, or at least he haven’t noticed… until now.

“Okay so you can sign those papers for me so I can go and sort this out?”

Tommy took the folder and placed his signature on the papers without even reading it. “You’re not taking off my money right?” He joked, the light mood in his voice mirrored in his eyes.

“Absolutely how do you think I’ll feed this baby?” She kept the joke going, feeling a bit better.

“Let me know how this goes.” He saw Y/N take her belongings and the papers. “Y/N how about a party to raise funds for the project? The school needs funding.”

Y/N ran her hand on the door thinking about it.

“A… fancy party?”

Tommy nodded. “With waiters and champagne and shit.” He had access now to the elite members club, people with enough money in their accounts to end poverty but selfish enough to not give away a single coin.

“Could you organize it?” He asked hiding his hands in his pockets.

“Yes, I can do that.” Excitement made her skin tingle, she had never been to a party like that, only once when Lady Winchester requested her to be by her side, but her place was to be back in the shadows, not as a guest.

“You’ll need a dress then. And some fancy shoes too.”

A dress! He had said a dress! She couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of it, she, a no body getting all dressed up to attend a rich people gathering while several weeks pregnant.

“You must not spare on anything, alright? I’ll give you a blank check so you can arrange all of it.” He explained proudly. His dreams finally materializing.

Y/N took in his success, all of the things he ever wanted, he never stopped, never complained. No, instead he focused on finding a way to do all that would take him to where he wanted to be.

His hard work and intelligence was admirable. He never relied on excuses. And despite what everyone might think of his imposing presence, he had a heart of gold and a genuine interest to help.

“Tommy?” Her soft voice pulled him out of his daydream. His blue eyes fixed on hers. “I’m so proud of you.”

She didn’t know how much her words meant to him. How he’d treasure and savor their taste… Y/N was the only person that saw him crying over his mother’s grave, she had been the one who helped him to be a part of the man he used to be when he got back from France, she heard him talk for hours of the horrors he had seen. And now she was helping him materialize his dreams, but in a very subtle way because she wasn’t impressed or interested in the luxury he could afford, she didn’t assume he’d give her everything, no, she wanted to work hard by herself to earn it. She wasn’t accepting anything more than what she thought was fair.

In a world where he could easily get confused and loose sight of what really matters, she was keeping him grounded.

“Do you want to have dinner in your office?” Y/N asked Tommy as she found him in the hall.

After looking at his clock, he guarded it safely again in his pocket, trying to keep his nerves at bay, he had a secret meeting with Churchill in a desert road, he wanted to share some more instructions about the upcoming deal with the Russians and not having total control over when and how things would happen was driving Tommy mad. This was a very delicate matter and the slightest mistake could get them all murdered in a heartbeat.

“No, actually I’ve to go.”

Touching her arm and giving her a gentle squeeze, Tommy asked her to be safe before walking outside. His vehicle roared as he exited the property and Y/N found herself eating alone in the huge dining table.

For her own safety it was better if Y/N didn’t get involved in this. Russians simply didn’t care about anyone, they were fucking mad. He had been actually considering asking Y/N to go somewhere else safe, but knowing her the way he did, she’d take it badly, as if he was trying to get rid of her.

Y/N glanced at the window, it was dark. But she knew it wasn’t her place to ask anything else. Where could he go at this time of the night? With who?

As much as her bond was so close to Tommy, she needed to realize they weren’t stitched or glued to each other and Tommy generally was extremely reserved about his private affairs.

Being alone made Y/N feel miserable and sad, her whole days were filled with lots of people at the Shelby Company Ltd, or the tea time with her grandma at the Garrison or the moments she shared with Tommy once they arrived at Arrow House. So now being by herself it felt so different…so lonely.

“Mary could you please prepare a tea for me?” Y/N asked politely after finishing her dinner.

“I only serve Mr. Shelby ma’am.” The maid added before walking away.

In a few words, she made very clear that Y/N’s presence wasn’t as welcomed as she thought. And her loyalty was reserved for her master, not his unwelcome guest. So without another word, Y/N picked up her dirty dishes and brought it downstairs.

“Miss Y/LN what are you doing?” Asked one of the maids as the chef wiped his hands with his apron.

“I’m going to wash these.” Y/N stated firmly, voice close to break after the humiliating moment she went through with Mary.

If things were as they should be, Y/N would be working under Mary’s supervision.

“Absolutely not, let me handle this.” Gently, the maid retrieved the items and gave the pregnant woman a look. “Can I help you with anything else? Some desert?”

Y/N shook her head. “No, thanks. Where’s the kettle?” She asked instead. This place was huge and there was a walk-in pantry and everything was organized meticulously.

“This is because of Mary right?” Y/N fixed her eyes on the young girl. “What did she do?” But then she placed her hand on her lips, as if trying to say she messed up. “Apologies I shouldn’t have.”

“No, it’s fine… it’s not like I’m Mrs. Shelby.” She sighed and twisted nervously the bow at the front of her blouse. “She reminded me of my place in this house, that’s all.”

The young maid exploded. “She thinks she’s better than the rest of us, just because she’s in charge of everything.”

Y/N studied her features, noticing her reaction was genuine.

“She’s always criticizing the way I do my job, it’s never good enough. And Mr. Shelby doesn’t even care…”

“I know this isn’t my business.” The chef caught her attention. “But she had been complaining about you to every member of the staff, she doesn’t understands why she has to attend you and do things for you when you’re not married to Mr. Shelby.” Duncan explained as he cleaned the stove.

“Oh I’ve heard her plenty of times too, you should talk to Mr. Shelby.” The kind maid suggested.

But Y/N shook her head and thanked the woman for preparing a tea for her. “No, I’m not here to cause Tommy more trouble. And he needs Mary to take care of everything.”

All of this was because Mary had very inflexible thoughts about premarital sex, she was always murmuring “this offends the Lord… or Lord forgive them for that.” So with Y/N being pregnant and living with a man without being married, this was a sin. Y/N was a sinner and in her eyes, she didn’t deserve even a bloody cup of tea.

“Thanks for the tea and the company. I’m sure Tommy wouldn’t mind if you got to have some rest early, all the chores pending can be done in the morning.” Y/N gave them both a smile and rushed upstairs to her bedroom.

The place was huge and she made sure to lock her door, a constant fear of some intruder breaking into the mansion made her feel uneasy. Tommy had a bunch of enemies after all, they wouldn’t care about harming her or her baby just to get to Tommy.

It was too late now to regret anything, it wouldn’t change the course of things. But sitting on the ottoman by the window, she let her mind wander to think of her baby, to imagine if would it be a girl or a boy?

She wondered how would it feel the kicks and her baby would like to hear her singing a lullaby to sleep. Polly already warned her that she’d buy a stroller and a crib for when the baby is born and her grandmother was already knitting some shoes and a blanket. Esme promised to give her a box full of clothes of all sizes so she could choose what to keep, each gesture kept touching her heart, to realize how generous they all were to her, never making her feel bad or unwelcome. She would make sure to let her baby know of all the love that surrounded them even before the birth.

Y/N knew that sometimes blood means nothing sadly, but life always brings a good group of people to replace the others.

But thankfully her baby would’ve lots of arms to cuddle on and a loving chosen family to rely on.

Part 6

Master list

Thank you so much for reading ! ✨🥰 I hope you like this part, as usual, your words is what keeps this going xx

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @elk96 @blondie-22 @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @lau219 @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @lauren-raines-x @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @red-riding-wood @lovemissyhoneybee @theendlessvoidofdarkest @wannabeperfectionists-blog (can’t tag) @yeppaweshallsee (can’t tag) @skydisneylover (can’t tag) @holacia3 @galactict3a @mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @ietss @abaker74 @natalie--rushman @elliaze @justrainandcoffee @teawonderfultea-blog1

#that’s what Cill said #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x fem!reader #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x imagine #tommy shelby fan fic #tommy shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fan fiction #cillian murphy characters

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rainstops · 2 months

Text

my favorite alcohol problem

scaramouche x gn!reader fluff

summary: scaramouche started drinking to stop thinking about you, and suddenly ended up in your bed. someone help him

a/n: this is so unrealistic,, i think. either way ive been trying to fight the urge to write this but did end up giving in. also, I am just dropping this here to go right back to being on hiatus cuz this has been living in my drafts..

warnings: mentioning of alcohol consumption

wc: 1.5k

it was late. by far past 1 am. you were out with your friends to celebrate a birthday, and for whatever reason they were now going to go drinking at the bar next door. you excused yourself and told them that you couldn't stay any longer, but you’d still accompany them into the bar and then leave.

as soon as you stepped foot into the bar, you saw a familiar someone laying with their head on the counter. your friends chose a place to sit, and while you said goodbye to them, you were already walking over to the familiar someone.

it was scaramouche, who you knew from your college classes. from all the times the both of you had worked together, you knew that he wasn't the nicest person to be around.

“what are you doing here at this time”, you asked scaramouche, and you couldn't tell if he was asleep or just too drunk to respond.

you put a hand on his shoulder and tried shaking him, to which he somewhat tried to sit up.

“why the hell are you drinking?”, you tried asking again.

yet scaramouche in his drunken state leaned against you, and mumbled something which you at first couldn't make out.

“this… this is all your fault!”, he slurred.

“mine?! i wasn't even here”, you argued, but at the lack of a response, you decided that it was time to act. you couldn't just leave him here. like this he probably didn't even remember his way home or his address.

“come on, let's get you out of here”, you slipped an arm under his arm and tried supporting him since he didn't seem like walking was something he could do on his own.

suddenly the bartender stopped you.

“excuse me, but he didn't pay yet”, the woman behind the counter looked like she felt somewhat sorry for you.

you groaned and reluctantly pulled out your card.

“here but it on this card”, the woman nodded and went to close his tab and pay.

“you owe me big time scara”, you said to the guy you were almost carrying by the way he was slumping against you.

“thank you, have a good night!”, the woman handed you your card back and you nodded with a very forced smile.

as soon as you stepped foot outside the bar, you realized that you had no idea where scara even lived. you knew none of his friends who you could call, and have never been at his place. whenever you needed to work on a project together, you just met in the college library with him.

screw it you thought.

you sat scaramouche, who still hasn't said a word ever since he blamed you for his drinking, in the passenger seat of your car, and decided to just drive to your apartment. if he was going to complain to you about waking up at your place, you were sure as hell never going to help him with anything ever again.

at your apartment, you started contemplating who slept where. you sure as hell didn't want to sleep on the couch, and since you already helped scaramouche out of the stupid situation he was in, why would you let him sleep on your bed?

but the people-pleaser side of yours, in the end won and you did let him sleep on your bed.

“here drink this”, you said while almost forcing a glass of water into the drunken man's hand.

scaramouche drank the glass faster than you ever could, and held it out for you to put it on the bedside table like you were taking care of a child.

you were about to walk out of the room when you heard a low whine.

“what?”, you turned around.

and there he sat, arms crossed across his chest and an angry pout on his face. with his head turned away from you, he mumbled something which you once again couldn't make out.

“repeat that?”

“don’t… go”, scaramouches voice was barely above a whisper, and you wondered how much alcohol did he actually have?

despite almost having to laugh at scaramouches weird request, you decided not to laugh at him because who knew how much he was going to remember from this night?

“Scaramouche, I'm tired I just want to go to sleep”, and when you turned around to leave, you almost jumped at the feeling of a hand grabbing your wrist and pulling you back.

“sleep here…”, scaramouche repeated and stared down at the floor. despite him not looking at you, you could tell that his face was flushed. yet wether that was because of the alcohol, or because he was asking you to sleep in the same bed as him.

you were about to argue with him, when scaramouche simply pulled you into bed with a yelp from you.

the moment you were lying next to him, he wrapped his arms around your waist and fell asleep. not even pulling the blanket up or whatever. trying to get up was no use since he was going to wrap himself tighter around you whenever you tried.

he was so going to flip out when he woke up…

scaramouche happened to be the first one to wake up, and the first thing he noticed was the pounding headache. he barely remembered anything from the previous night. that was when he noticed you snuggled up against him.

the first thing scaramouche decided to do was scream. well, almost. he slapped a hand over his mouth. next followed question after question running through his mind.

next he wanted to wake you, but wait- wouldn't that just be even more embarrassing? besides you looked so peaceful there next to him… wait what.

then he remembered.

the only reason he went drinking last night was to finally get you off his mind. for the past few weeks he could do nothing but think off you, even if he didn't want to. everything he saw reminded him of you. so he thought drinking could solve his problem.

scaramouche even remembered parts of your conversation, the way you asked him why he was drinking, and he blamed it on you. drinking was just a last resort, since scaramouche had tried everything to finally forget you and nothing had worked. every thought and every action led back to you, and scaramouche was sick of it. it made his heart beat so hard, it was practically begging to jump out of his chest.

scaramouche sat up, his heart pounding faster than the headache in his head. what was he supposed to do now?

he could leave and never speak to you off this again - assuming that you wont mention it to him - and live his life like nothing ever happened, but… is that what he wanted to do? this might be one of his only chances to be this close to you.

that was when you moved and turned around to lean against scaramouches arm which was supporting his sitting form. it was pathetic to admit, but such a simple act led to scaramouches face heat up.

he was sure whatever he did next was because he was still tired. or because of the alcohol from last night. he was never going to admit the real reason for this not even to himself.

yet he still lifted up his hand and reluctantly and slowly stroke your hair. first those strokes were barely even headpats, but it slowly turned into full playing with your hair and caressing your face.

to scaramouches dismay, you were never a very heavy sleeper, so his actions woke you up rather quickly.

scaramouche did not even notice how your eyes slowly opened and turned to look at him. he was way to busy admiring how beautifully your hair twirled around his finger.

yet when he looked back at your face, he saw you with your eyes now open and your softly smiling face. it took him a second to process what had just happened, but he just blinked and suddenly scrambled away from you.

his face was now redder than anything you have seen before and his mouth was wide open in shock.

you on the other hand tried sitting up while laughing so hard that it was surely going to give you a stomach ache if you kept laughing.

“s-stop laughing! you- i-”, scaramouche had no way of communicating with how flustered he currently was.

after just a little while, you had calmed down though, and where only giggling a little. by then scaramouche was ready to ask you tons and tons of questions. well he wished that was the case, but instead of forming full questions in his head, there were only a bunch of question marks scattered across all the events from the previous night.

“I- what were you even thinking making me sleep here?!”, was the only thing he could blurt out.

“me? this isnt my fault!”, you replied still wearing a wide grin on your face.

“what are you-”, scaramouche was so ready to blame everything on you, until he remembered the way he pulled you into bed with him and then hugged you so tight you could barely leave.

“oh”, was all scaramouche could say as he lowered his head, completely at a loss for words.

part 2?

#rainstops #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin scaramouche #scara x reader #scaramouche x reader #scara #scaramouche

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nogenderbee · 23 days

Text

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℂ𝕦𝕥𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕪𝕤 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Could I request Ayato, Zhongli, Thoma, and Kaveh with a s/o who can create cute, living toys?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah! Absolutely! Honestly I'm not entirely sure about it buuut... hopefully you like it?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ over years, Zhongli already saw many toys and mechanisms, yet yours always seem to surprise him

✧ he may've seen the greatest inventions, but yours? They're so simple and cute, they have their own charm

✧ he's used to formal introducing when it comes to inventions like that, and yet you introduce it as if it's some toy for kids! Who knows? Maybe it is?

✧ but what he finds the sweetest is that they actually seem like alive, they move and some even talk! It's hard not to be impressed!

✧ like mentioned earlier, he's used to formal inventions, definitely not as silly as these, so his recommendation may not be the best...

✧ despite that, he wants to help, so he takes you on few adventures and shows you many secret places around Liyue or tells you stories which you may find closest to "fairytales"

✧ he's never recommending anything directly but he doesn't mind giving you ideas by sharing what he already knows

"Hehe~ ... No, nothing. I just thought your invention is really sweet. You have a real talent, dear."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @toyaswif3y - come get your broke archon!

✧ Thoma is literally like a supportive mother when it comes to your work as an inventor

✧ he's always gonna compliment any work of yours, usually taking time to admire it's looks and functions to give you more detailed compliment than just saying "it's good" and leaving it at that

✧ but he also won't lie to you when he sees something could use some fixing... he's definitely very gentle with it and if it's something little, he might hesitate to mention it but he'll probably tell you about it sooner rather than later

✧ coming back to mother subject... he's not gonna let you pull all nighters! And if he catches you, he'll immidietly force you to go to bed

✧ but if he catches you sleeping on your desk at 1am... he's just gonna move you to bed and moves little health talk for another time

✧ if you ask him for some ideas, they're most likely gonna remind you more of child toys than some serious robots but... those are usually still rather interesting ideas! So why not give it a try anyway~?

"Oh, this one's really good! I really like their design and how you went for the sweet look... and I can also see you worked really hard on making it move so smoothly. You did a really good job! Here, take a break after all of this work, I can make us tea."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot - come get your perfect malewife~

✧ I have a feeling like Ayato, due to being head of Kamisato Clan would know a bit on how to judge inventions but not actual clue how to make ones

✧ but judging is still something! Because he can always tell you what's missing and what requires fixing in his opinion

✧ tho his words may be a bit harsh, due to being used to formal meetings and saying what he thinks there, as it was what he payed for... he tries making words gentler for you next time but first? Feel free to tell him he's being a bit blunt...

✧ but he gets there with time so don't you worry! He doesn't want to be mean to his partner after all!

✧ and if you have tough client to deal with? He'll volunteer to go with you and to help you with business talk, he sees how much passion and work you put into your works so he only finds it fair the other person needs to pay fair price

✧ also, he's gonna try his best to pull you away from all nighters buuut... he takes them himself so he can't really argue here... he'll just try to help you and get you to bed as soon as possible

"They want to pay this little? No, you're fighting for the right thing, you're obviously trying to under pay you. Tell me, when are you supposed to meet them? I'd like to assist you if it's not a problem."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot - come get your boba lover!

✧ inventor the architect.... don't you see it's the perfect duo?

✧ Kaveh get's your struggle... so little time and so many ideas... let alone, if you're selling what you create!

✧ he's never gonna hesitate to help you, be it with the design or just to get idea for your next project

✧ and if he can't think of anything, he'll go on a little tour with you and maybe there you or him will be able to think of something

✧ he doesn't know much about inventing but he does know that all nighters are sometimes necessary and real pain at the same time... so he'd be happy to be your assistant and pass you various tools

✧ and if it ends you have to pull all nighter and don't allow him close to your inventions? He'll be happy to be your company for the night and coffee and snack bringer

✧ but since you're his lover, he's still worried about your health so despite doing that himself, he'll try getting you away from sacrificing your sleep

"C'mon honey... I get that it's important but so is sleep. And if your client complains, I'll personally have a talk with them! So don't worry about it, go to sleep and let me handle it if necessary, okey?"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot - come get your architect beuty~

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padawansuggest · 11 months

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Obi-Wan wears a ‘the liberals didn’t make me gay, your dad did’ shirt on the negotiator once when he got woken up and had to leave without getting dressed, and starts an outright riot everyone is so mad at him. Where as the actual origins of the shirt was what he wore to Anakin’s 17th birthday party and Anakin was DELIGHTED. Vastly different ideas here.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #clone wars #the clones #Jango Fett #the force #the force needs to pay child support #they were pissed but you could also claim Jangobi soulmate AU so he’s ACTUALLY gay cause of Jango idk

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furiousgoldfish · 2 months

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If you're often wondering why do abusers do this to kids, and why they don't change their behaviour even when it's pointed out, I have a few insights to share.

I believe abuse is an easy way for people to get out of parenting their own kids, while still getting credit as if they're doing it. And even more, they get special privileges and resources that normal parents wouldn't try to get, because the price of them is too high for the children to pay.

For instance, in order to take care of a child, you have to deal with their development needs; meaning you need to be educated enough about human development to know why the child is acting the way they do, you need to know if they need guidance, support, boundaries, stability, schedules, or entertainment, fun, play-time, attention, comforting, more resources, more interaction. You also need to deal with their random behaviours, like children will sometimes get loud and careless, break stuff, cause damage, turn against you, get sick, get into bad moods, get sulky, throw tantrums, get stuck in bad groups of people or be predated upon, have trouble at school, wander off, develop mental illness, and as a parent, you are expected and required to be there for all of that, on top of regularly caring that they're well-fed, bathed, that they have fitting and functional clothing, that they're well socialized, and that their living condition is clean and functional enough for them to be happy and safe.

Now, if you're an abuser, and your child is struggling or giving you any of the random behaviours that annoy you, and you lash out at them, tell them nobody is ever going to love them, threaten to 'give them a reason to cry', yell at them until they get frozen in shock and pain, they're not going to come to you next time for help. In fact, it's unlikely they'll feel safe around you to exhibit half of their normal behaviour, instead they'll be sheepish and too scared they'll accidentally annoy you, so you won't have to hear about their day, their bad moods, their worries, their loudness, them making any trouble for you; in fact, your mental energy will be yours only and you will effectively not have to emotionally raise a child anymore, it will be just another human who is too scared of you to ask you to fulfill any of your parental duties.

What about when your child is sick? You know you have to care for your sick child. Except, you're an abuser, so to you this is a drain on your energy and you'd rather not have to deal with it, because a child to you is not a real person but an object that is in your way. So, you yell at your child that they got sick on purpose because they hate you, you tell them it because they did 'x' and 'y' (which they maybe did because you failed to watch out for them) and inform them that you will not be taking them to the hospital. Now your child will not expect any care while they're sick, and in fact, they'll be too scared to even come to you next time they're sick. Again, you got out of childcare and have all of your energy for yourself, at the expense of your child's health.

If you continually call your child a financial burden, ask them when they're going to pay rent, force them to work in order to deserve to eat and sleep at your house, complain about how 'money doesn't grow on trees', then your child will be too scared and ashamed to confess when their things are broken, clothes no longer fitting or torn, their shoes too small or breaking apart, their hygiene products at their end, or for anything they might like or want from the store. Now your child will try to make ends meet on their own, and you can financially save up and buy yourself what you like, and then buy the kid something when it's convenient for you, maybe for like a birthday present. Maybe at this point you are starting to see that if your child runs around looking very rugged, people are going to notice the visible lack of care, so you either make sure the kid does have some new-looking clothes, or, you tell the kid explicitly what they're allowed to wear outside, to not bring shame on you and the entire family, once again putting the responsibility on the child to look 'cared for', while you do almost absolutely nothing to make it a reality.

Now you're having a child who is, out of deep-seated fear of you, acting politely and socialized in company, giving you ever chance to pretend that you care for them daily, while you're effectively living as if you didn't have a child at all. But maybe that's not enough for you. Maybe, you also want to use that child to earn money as well; after all, they're scared of you and will do as you say. You can put them up to any kind of labour and call it 'chores', and tell them you're just 'teaching them work habits', while they're doing your part of household chores, heavy physical labour, maybe even your job, if they're good at it.

But maybe this is not the area where you need assistance, but you're looking for a free, non-judgmental therapist who will be on your side completely and never dare to call you out or confront you - and voila, this child is so desperate to make any sort of connection to you, they'll carefully listen to all of your woes and trauma, even when it's deeply inappropriate for them to hear it, and they'll of course, be on your side as you're the only person in the story they care about, so you can cry to them as much as you want and even encourage them to fix you, to run around looking for ways to cheer you up, make your life easier to you, influence other people to give you what you want. And if they ever dare to stand up to you or defy you, you can just snap at them and call them something that makes their blood freeze in shock and they'll back down and become even more obedient.

Neat, isn't it? Not only you don't need to parent this child anymore, but you can draw any kind of benefit out of them, groom them into any kind of behaviour, extract physical and emotional labour from them, take their anger out of them, control their life so it benefits you and not them, all while convincing them it's their duty to give it to you.

As a result, you will be untouched by the chore of parenting, and your child will grow into a terrified, deeply insecure, always wondering why they're not enough, never feeling good enough, neglected but not aware of it, hyper-independent, ashamed, desperate, unloved, depressed, traumatized, engulfed by grief and loneliness, never understanding why their own parent didn't want them, care-deprived adult. Because it's all that effort, all that responding to child's needs, all that attention and care and warmth and energy put into a child, that is necessary for them to have proof that they're a worthwhile human being, that they're not only alive to be filled with emptiness and serve others.

But that's also why the abusive parents will never stop what they're doing. The benefits they get by abuse far outweigh the cost (the cost being the well being of their child, to them cost is zero), so they will not suddenly become willing to do the job of parenting, after they've spent so much time successfully avoiding it, and only put the energy into gaslighting the child into believing this is normal.

This is also why they put so much effort into making the child dependent on them, and sabotaging the potential escape - they're benefiting from having that child around, they're actively extracting what ever they want from this young person that they barely have to cover the living cost for, who doesn't know or understand how many of their human rights are being violated. There's truly no easier way to isolate, trap, groom, brainwash and then control a person.

#benefits of abuse #child abuse #abusive parents #why abusers do it #what do abusers gain by abusing #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #why do they do that #why abusers abuse #benefits of abusive behaviour #consequences of abuse

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bonefall · 4 months

Note

Hey Bones! Sorry if this is a bit random to ask you, but-

Is it ok if you elaborate and/or explain how Millie is ableist towards Briarlight please?

I haven’t really heard much people within the fandom talk about Millie’s treatment of Briarlight and her disability as negative and/or bad compared to Millie not really paying attention to Blossomfall within the books.

So I’m interested what you know and/or have to say about it.

OH boy, I feel like this one is REALLY easy to see if you just pop the book open. It will make your skin crawl once you see these quotes. Millie is an AWFUL mother and SHOCKING in how nasty she is to her disabled child.

I run in some pretty good circles and curate my Tumblr experience well, so I see plenty of people just mentioning it as a fucked up thing the series did casually, but I'll make a compilation of the worst of it.

(CW for some serious ableism, Millie is terrible.)

She's injured in Chapter 11 of OotS Book 2: Fading Echoes, and Millie is obsessive over her until Chapter 9 of OotS Book 3: Night Whispers. She's interfering with Jayfeather's treatments, constantly in the den, shouting at him when he tries to be honest about Briarlight's condition.

But that would be understandable. She's concerned and the prognosis isn't great. Her very young, athletic daughter (basically 17-ish) has suddenly received a life-altering injury that will drastically affect her life. Until Night Whispers Chapter 9, she's just worrying about her daughter.

And then we get this.

(Please note this is happening in front of the entire Clan. The entire social group is watching this.)

Though Briarlight expressed frustration with her exercises and how painful and difficult recovery was in Fading Echoes, that is not the case in Night Whispers. At this point, it's difficult but Briarlight is recovering well. MILLIE decides that her daughter being alive with a disability is suffering.

Note how in this exchange, Jayfeather is being forced to comfort Briarlight's MOTHER. Not BRIARLIGHT herself, the one with the injury who is looking at a massive upheaval to her life. Though superficially it seems like this is coming from a place of love, Millie is making Briarlight's recovery about herself by doing this, and this exchange is ableist.

Millie: "I want her to do all of these able-bodied things."

Jay: "That will not happen, but life has inherent value."

Millie: "No it doesn't, if you cannot do those able-bodied things, you are suffering."

But it gets worse because it's not even that she's only expressing this in private. Her daughter is within earshot. The newly disabled person is listening to their own fucking mother call her medical treatment "dragging out her suffering."

BURN this passage into your mind. Having heard her OWN FUCKING MOTHER cry to a crowd of cats that maybe it would be better if she was DEAD, watching several cats drop everything to comfort HER for having a disabled daughter, Briarlight has to drag herself out and act like a cute baby to get her to stop making a public spectacle.

It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't been in the situation before, but if your parent is making a scene like that, it'll end up falling onto you to "appeal" to their sense of... parental valor, is the best way I can put it. "See? Aren't I getting better? I promise I'll work hard. I'm not hurt it's okay! Everything is fine!" You give them a chance to affirm how good of a parent they are, for helping you, or 'putting up' with you. You have to assure them that your existence isn't so bad.

In essence, it falls onto the child to comfort their parent.

This is specifically a form of a toxic family dynamic called emotional parentification, on top of it being obviously ableist. She is being shoved into a position where she needs to sacrifice her OWN need for support and comfort to coddle her parent, to STOP her from making a scene, while that parent screams that her disabled life is worth less than her siblings' abled ones to a crowd of cats.

Naturally, this affects Briarlight's sense of self-worth. She stops eating.

Thankfully, Jayfeather is here to have an exchange about how her life has value. For all my issues with Jayf in later arcs, he has some of his best moments here in OotS.

In later books, Briarlight's struggles with self-worth continue. It's all shit that Millie implied about her being less useful because she is unable to do what her siblings can.

It's every other cat who has to come in and assure Briarlight that she isn't worthless. Not Millie. Millie comes on screen and she's either making Briarlight feel like garbage or barking at Jayfeather for not doctoring hard enough.

She desperately craves independence. This above scene is happening because she wanted to come out into the woods for the first time in forever, and she's being suffocated and bossed around in the camp constantly. It was up to her brother, Bumblestripe, to do anything to help her.

Not her dad. Not her mom. Bumblestripe. (Rare Bumblestripe W)

I also want to take a brief moment to point out a detail that the fandom often forgets, about Blossomfall. She actually knows full well that her feelings are unreasonable here, and she believes that the fact she isn't feeling "what she is supposed to" is proof that she is a bad person who deserves hell.

Millie's actions are crushing ALL of her children under its weight. Briarlight is obviously getting the worst of it, but these are YOUNG adults, just out of apprenticeship, and Blossomfall is being told that her sister is in a constant state of "suffering." This means she's not allowed to be frustrated about how Millie is behaving, because hating THAT means you hate your sister, and that makes her an awful person.

What Blossomfall is describing here is the feelings associated with being a glass child.

But no it's not JUST that she's being neglectful to Blossomfall, who yes, is a young adult and can take responsibility for her own actions. Millie is being nasty to Bloss too, directly comparing her to Briarlight and unironically doing the "You should be GRATEFUL you can walk when BRIARLIGHT WOULD DO ANYTHING TO LEGS AROUND."

Again. I'll state the very obvious from the passage.

"Hey Millie, your other daughter looks kinda upset right now!" = "PERFECT TIME TO SNAP AT HER"

Blossomfall = Wasted her morning when she should be Useful

Useful = Can hunt

"YOUR SISTER wouldn't act like this"

Proper warrior = spends every waking minute in service of the clan

Once again, Millie does this in public, with several people watching her rip into her child. She even gets ANGRY at Brackenfur gently trying to soften the blow. It's freakjob shit to hear, "h-hey, at least they're safe!" and SNARL back "IS IT?"

Millie continues to hover over Briarlight well into Bramblestar's Storm. The closure for these intense, insulting comments, public embarrassments, snapping at and neglecting one child while telling the other one that her life was "suffering" because she can't walk is.....

millie watches her do some pull-ups and is so impressed by them she isn't bigoted anymore :o)

"my daughter's membership at British Planet Fitness paid off. Look at how big her biceps are now. I guess I was wrong to tell her that her life is inherently suffering because she can't hunt, just look at her gooooo"

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So, basically, Millie's a terrible parent. She never gets properly called out for this manipulative, toxic behavior. She says that her own daughter might have been better off dead in public. She makes Briarlight feel like half of a cat because she can't do all the things her siblings do, while her siblings are told that they should be grateful they're not disabled like Briarlight.

And just to end off, because it's relevant, the BRAND NEW writing team then killed off Briarlight in an incredibly stupid, insulting way. She catches fucking Greencough in AVoS so that they can have a very sad funeral for a couple of chapters, before moving on to Jayfeather being a shithead to Alderheart for being friends with Velvet.

Then they wrote a line in Squirrelflight's Hope where Squilf's mother begs her to stay dead in heaven, because if she goes back to life, she might be disabled like Briarlight and her mate Bramblestar won't want her anymore. The line was so bad the authors promised that it wouldn't be there in reprints; the reprint still has not come.

normal series.

#warrior cats analysis #Briarlight #CW Ableism #Cw bigotry #CW jesus christ I feel like this needs more tags because it's SO bad

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cyb3rtarot · 4 months

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Pick a Pile: Message From Your Inner Child + How You Can Nurture Them

Disclaimers: choose the pile you feel intuitively drawn to; you can choose more than one! Take what already resonates and leave anything confusing or stressful. Readings are not replacements for professional advice. I used a mix of tarot, oracle, and my intuition.

pile 1->pile 2

pile 3->pile 4

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Pile 1

Message [Justice||nine of hearts rx, king of pentacles, nine of wands rx, three of pentacles rx]: hi pile one! Your inner child wants to express feelings of dissatisfaction or being stifled. Many of you are in a good place financially/with work, at least compared to where you used to be. This came from working very hard without much support from others—maybe even being hindered by others. Other people might look at your life and wish they had it, but your inner child does not seem fulfilled by whatever your position is. I don’t sense ungratefulness, but it does seem like your inner child is more interested in something “deeper” or more meaningful than your physical reality is providing. If you’ve had to claw your way out of hard situations, your inner child seems to be looking for some kind of justice or retribution regarding that. You may feel like you deserve more happiness after what you’ve had to go through, or want people who have done you wrong to be punished.

How you can nurture your inner child [the fool, the emperor, king of pentacles rx, three of swords rx]: a more proactive approach to finding meaning and happiness in your life will nurture your inner child. You might be used to going with the flow—especially if you’re materially comfortable or seeking such a lifestyle. Remember that you have the power to initiate new beginnings; you don’t have to stay the same! Give your inner child space to grow and discover what feels right to them, even if it doesn’t make sense to others. Don’t force yourself to remain in an unhappy spot when there are changes within your grasp. Uncertainty is a necessary part of life. There’s also a big emphasis on balancing your work for outer stability with this search for inner happiness; perhaps some of you unnecessarily overwork yourselves which leaves little time for other things.

For some, this soul searching may involve letting go of past hurts. I’m not trying to force you to forgive others, but to identify how your current reality has formed as a response to pain, and how you can choose to respond differently.

Extra details: isolation, loneliness. Past betrayals and enemies. Being “self made,” supporting oneself. Not being seen and understood, wearing a facade/mask. Music as solace, singing, pop stars (Ariana Grande again lol?). Balance. Being the tough kid, defending yourself. Paying your own way through school. Aggressiveness. Continuous conflict with colleagues or family, unhappiness at work. Wanting to leave a “good” job, or wanting to “run away” (some of you may be daydreaming about “drastic” action, like suddenly quitting and going on a long trip, far away from everyone you know).

░░░

Pile 2

Message [the star rx, seven of wands rx|| nine of swords, the star, four of pentacles rx]: hi pile two! There is a lot of past hurt and trauma in this pile, and your inner child is highly encouraging healing/shadow work. Your inner child is wanting you to lower some of those internal walls so those uncomfortable emotions and memories can be processed. If you feel you need someone like a professional to help you, that is absolutely okay. Healing is hard, trauma is messy, and the “despair” in this pile seems particularly heavy.

How you can nurture your inner child [two of hearts, the tower rx, queen of pentacles rx, the lovers, six of cups rx]: a major focus for your healing journey is examining how past hurts—especially in relationships or childhood—are projected onto present day relationships. You may have developed certain traits or behaviors to survive the past, but now they block you from experiencing the intimacy your inner child craves. This is not to say you should compromise boundaries, but know that intimacy and vulnerability themselves are not the enemy. Thinking or acting like they are can even be a way of self-blaming, as if you not needing love would have prevented others from being toxic or abusers. Examine how past patterns can lead to current self-sabotaging, and also give yourself grace if you feel like you made a mistake. Learning how to navigate relationships of any kind is hard, and trauma can make it harder! Know your inner insecurities are not reflective of the relationship, how others see you, or the truth. If you do wish to work on some aspect of yourself or your healing journey, it’s very much within your capacity.

Extra details: fruit is significant, maybe nostalgic memories of someone cutting or giving you fruit growing up? A house with a tile or distinctive roof, roof decorations. The quiet/shy kid. Feeling like you’re falling apart. Clumsiness. Alone. A lot of yelling and hurtful words (particularly in the past). Childhood or domestic trauma. Catastrophizing. I feel like a lot of you are in a romantic relationship that is triggering anxiety. Practicing healthy communication with your partner may be one part of the healing work mentioned above. I also feel like a lot of you jumped from a very toxic home into a very toxic relationship as you came of age; a current relationship may be difficult due to this pattern that developed.

░░░

Pile 3

Message [ the hermit, the fool rx|| Queen of cups, the chariot, justice rx, ten of pentacles rx, the hanged man rx, the tower]: hi pile 3, your inner child had a lot to say! You might repress them a lot. They want you to know you are living with old mindsets and approaches that are no longer aligned with you. You have a very large inner, emotional world and self awareness, but you don’t let this shine through to the outside. There’s a big nihilistic vibe of just going through the motions and accepting your lot—even when you’re miserable—and even when there’s changes you can make. An imbalance exists between the energy directed towards your mind versus the outside world. There’s a sense of solitude and a “what’s the point?” approach. However, there’s also a sense of restlessness. Your inner child is feeling stifled by this lifestyle; they want to come out and experience enthusiasm! It seems major changes are present or coming in where this can be addressed.

How you can nurture your inner child [the lovers rx, king of swords, knight of wands rx, the emperor rx]: your inner child is encouraging you to embrace excitement for life. It feels like your nihilistic or apathetic approach functions as self-punishment by denying your desires. You’re aware of which things are not working for you anymore, but you’re avoiding tough conversations or decisions. Your inner child wants to break free and to go after what gives them joy; they do not want their emotions to be judged, repressed, or punished. Some of the self awareness you’ve developed in your inner world can be used to help navigate the disappointments and uncertainties of life. You have to wade past these things to reach the treasures in your journey.

Extra details: restlessness, emo (some of you were in middle school), quiet, hurting, simmering anger, Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day, taking an analytical approach to emotions, singing, not being allowed to express emotions growing up. You might say “perhaps” a lot. Water, wanting to live in or visit a location close to water.

░░░

Pile 4

Message [seven of wands rx, king of hearts, the hermit, strength rx, queen of swords|| queen of pentacles, queen of cups rx, five of cups rx, death rx]: hello pile four! The focus of your message is healing vulnerability. You guys have had to be strong by yourself for a long time. For those working on spirituality, it feels like that was the focus of this period. This “hardened” time can come to a close and give way to a new era where you’re more able to face feelings and express them authentically. Your inner child is pointing to a past experience (or multiple) you can revisit to do healing work. This may be a very disappointing heartbreak in a past relationship (of any kind). You might have had to end it with someone who was very attached to you and make that first “hurtful” move so you both could move on and heal. Or, you became disillusioned from lack of emotional fulfillment. Most of you have already done a lot of healing/shadow work and reached a more stable place with your inner sense of security. But, there’s difficulty translating this into being vulnerable with others. Due to the amount of emotional work you had to do, you’re leaning into logic and practicality when there needs to be a balance with emotion. Maybe you can easily identify and scrutinize emotions, but you default to this mental approach to avoid actually feeling it or confronting what you’ve repressed—especially if others’ reactions to your emotions have been disappointing. Protecting yourself is necessary and so is analyzing emotion. But sometimes feelings just need to pass through! We can only “think” our way so far into understanding life lessons. Vulnerability with ourselves—and knowing healthy ways to be vulnerable with others—are both healing.

How you can nurture your inner child [the hierophant rx, king of wands, princess of wands, page of cups rx, the devil rx]: you’ve done a lot of self-discovery and learning lessons on purpose. This has made space for beautiful growth—however, there’s an emphasis on being open to developing with other people, too. You may want to continue working on yourself in isolation, but some growth and self-knowledge can only be discovered through others. You may repress your inner child’s desire for connection—forcing yourself to be independent. This seems comfortable for you, but not necessarily fulfilling. You may not know where to start with allowing others inside your world. This pile is stuck in the middle of not wanting to deal with toxic BS and yearning for something new + authentic. You may really have to push yourself to leave your comfort zone when it comes to others, and remember that your past experiences don’t define every experience you could have. I’m not suggesting to do things that feel wrong to you, but I am suggesting to notice where you squash your curiosity towards others as a defense mechanism. If you remain true to the things you’ve learned during this time, you’ll be much more adept at spotting insincere people and setting boundaries. And, you’ll be equipped for the inevitable challenges that occur when we get closer to others. These aren’t necessarily bad challenges, but for someone who has learned to love being alone, the metaphorical social “dance” can seem daunting. People are lessons, but not everyone is going to be a hard lesson.

Extra details [TW abuse, self harm, suicide mention]: using spirituality as a reason to not feel (example, not letting yourself feel disappointed because “that’s how it was meant to be”), likes to rhyme or make puns a lot, tendency towards being nonchalant/apathetic, trying to “think” emotions away, not knowing how to stop being so independent. Spiritual, wise, eccentric/enigmatic, self-assured. “Nice” relationships but very few “deep” relationships. Wanting to be friendly but getting alarmed when someone want to be friendly back lol. May have been in a relationship with a very imbalanced power dynamic; someone may have had the power to punish you? In & out the hospital as a child or a very big medical incident. Working in medical (specifically getting nursing) or as a coach, trainer. Surgeries & surgical scars (especially emergency surgery to save your life), medical implants & devices, physically disabled. SH scars. Past attempt on one’s life. Unwilling to feel emotion in fear of getting swept away by them. Stoic on the outside, emotional inside. Always trying to “solve” your emotions

░░░

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aernx · 11 months

Text

꧔ UNDER THE RADAR — ! ❪엔하❫

secret relationships w enha hyung line (separate) non idol! university au （ maknae line ver ）

꒰ warnings ꒱ none i think, mentions of strict parents in jakes part

001. lee heeseung — ❪이희승❫ ᝰ

Subtle glances, quiet “i love you”s as you bumped into each other in the hallway becomes a daily routine for you and Heeseung. Decided to keep your relationship under the radar, you two had no other options but remain intimate behind closed doors. Heeseung has always been an avid believer to PDA and it killed him to not be able to hold you in the eyes of public. But he knew that there were consequences held under his name.

Being the ace of the university’s football team meant being the talk of the university, and you weren’t pleased at the thought of unwanted attention. You love your boyfriend, you really do. But with him being the centre of what’s happening around your university, you can’t help but feel unease if your relationship had been under the lights.

Though, that doesn’t stop Heeseung from loving you any less and vice versa. You know that out of all the attention and support he receives from the public, only yours matters. And in a crowd full of people chanting his name, his eyes will always be on you, only you.

002. Park Jongseong — ❪박종성❫ ᝰ

Jay looks at you with stars in his eyes and his friends wonder how people around you never seem to notice. With you sitting two seats away from him in your economy lecture, it’s hard to pay attention to the professor speaking in front. Especially when the middle seat amidst you, remains vacant.

It took all of his self control to not move over and sit next to you. Holding your hand through the lecture as his other free hand jots down notes of the subject. It was unfortunate that your relationship was kept in the dark, or Jay would be calling your name every time scores a goal for the university’s soccer team.

It’s not that you care about other people’s thoughts that’s why you decided to keep it a secret. But with you being the student council president and him the star player of your university’s soccer team, you both didn’t want to start any unnecessary rumors.

After all, PDA has never been a subject that strongly matters to you and Jay. And you both preferred the privacy. With your relationship being known only to your closest friends and relatives, you feel secure and out of pressure. Away from the prying eyes of others, and the heavy weight of responsibility under your positions.

003. Sim Jaehyun — ❪심재휸❫ ᝰ

The love Sim Jaehyun has for you outweighs any love he has for his grades and for sports. The thought of holding you hand as you both venture the hallways, sitting next to you in lecture halls and in the cafeteria, and overall public display of affection made him giddy to the heart. But he knew better.

He knew it wasn’t possible due to your strict parents. Your parents that loved their child so much that they try so hard to shield you from getting your heart broken by guys. Too bad you were a bit of a rebel.

Jake was your highschool academic rival. And it didn’t change now that you guys are in college and are dating. You knew that if news of your relationship spilled throughout your university, it’ll reach the ears of your parents. After all with your father being the chancellor of the university you both are studying in, it would be hard to keep something like this away from him.

The wrath of your parents was something that you and Jake needed to take count. If your parents ever found out, you fear that they will force you two apart or worse—they will take away Jake’s scholarship.

So you both agreed to keep things lowkey. Only being able to express the love you have for each other behind closed doors. Behind all the cameras set in every hallway in your university, behind the close watch your parents have all over you. Just you and Jake, alone in your own world.

004. Park Sunghoon — ❪박성훈❫ ᝰ

Your friends think that it’s obvious. His accidental shoulder brushes, his occasional glances, and the way his head snaps when he hears your name, it’s painfully obvious.

It’s not as if you guys are trying that hard to hide it anyways. With your position as the star player of the girls basketball, and his as the star player of the boys basketball, you guys can’t really avoid each other that much.

And unfortunately for you, Sunghoon can’t stop straining his eyes on you (not that you mind). It was a silly mission to keep your relationship from your team captains (and the others). The two of you bet on each other that whoever’s captain figured out the first will win and the loser will treat the other for ice cream.

It pains Sunghoon to see that his leader isn’t catching up to his little mission. Whereas on the other hand, Jungwon just shrugged him off thinking that his Sunghoon hyung was just being his odd self.

This bet went over for the span of two months before your captain figured it out. And gosh, Sunghoon doesn’t even care about the ice cream anymore. He’ll buy you all the ice cream you want if it means he’ll be able to hold you in public. If it wasn’t for you being stern on continuing the bet, he would’ve just given up in the middle. But now that it’s over, he can finally embrace you freely, before the news of your relationship spread like a wildfire.

#enhanet #enhypen x reader #heeseung x reader #sunghoon x reader #jay x reader #jake x reader #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen x you #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen jake #enha fluff #enha x reader

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samble-moved · 7 months

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reminder that homura is a middle schooler. she is 13 or 14 years old, depending on source. she is not old enough to drive or have a permit. she is not old enough to live on her own (it's implied her parents are out of the picture in some way — in the US she'd need to be in adoptive or foster care, or at least have a guardian or social worker, but this appears to be handwaved in the series and none are ever shown). she cannot vote. she is not old enough to get a job (earliest i've seen is 14 in the US, and that's usually in not great environments, in summer, and for low pay and short hours). she is only "independent" in the sense that it's forced upon her by lack of any adult support — nobody helps her fill out school transfer forms, she lives alone, she has no shown family or even mentions of relatives, nobody visits her in the hospital, etc.

i say this because a lot of "anti homura" arguments act as if this information doesn't exist, and that homura is "actually an adult" or at the same level as one due to looping. she canonically is not. her brain and physical body are not developing, she is only learning walpurgis tactics and memorizing test answers. her brain is not developing so she's not "mentally 26", like is often claimed by "homura is a predator" truthers. i'm not even going to touch on how weird and borderline creepy it is to say "she's a child but so mature for her age (from extreme, repeated, potentially pre-series trauma), so she must be an adult and can be treated like one".

there is a reason that children are typically tried differently in the US. unless "tried as an adult" for very serious crimes, it is widely accepted that children (and even young adults) are more impulsive, think less rationally, and are generally "less responsible" for their actions due to not having the experiences of a full grown adult. children are less mature, more prone to "overreaction" and panic, and are immature — because they are kids.

homura is a child. she also has extreme trauma, potentially from before the series even began (where are her parents? are they just neglectful? dead? why isn't there even a single adult helping her?) that is never helped or addressed. homura doesn't get help for any issues she has (obvious ptsd and depression, borderline delusions over the past being "just a dream" in wraith arc). she is not some spoiled, rich, mentally stable almost-adult who's never faced a consequence. she is a young and traumatized teenager, young enough to be a middle schooler, and has experienced:

neglectful, absent, missing, or dead family/parents

watching her friends die horrifically almost a hundred times

having zero adult support at all, no caseworker or help

bullying, half being because she's disabled

having her soul ripped from her body without consent and learning if she ever loses her soul gem (or god forbid accidentally drops it somewhere), her body will basically be "dead"

learning she and all her friends turn into eldritch horrors when they die, a process shown in rebellion to be something they are aware for (aka the horror that witches aren't "just" bodies being moved, they are actively and constantly suffering and aware to some degree the whole time)

learning that the witches they fight are girls around their age who fell into despair, and not purposeless monsters

learned of the prospect that witches can potentially "regrow" via familiars, thus if their consciousness transfers, this shows the possibility of literally eternal suffering as the witch is "reborn"

realization that, the more she tries to save madoka, the worse the situation gets

having a full on breakdown with delusions in wraith arc, thinking maybe madoka was all just a hallucination or a dream she had

finding out in rebellion it wasn't a dream, but then thinking she betrayed madoka by not stopping her from contracting

becoming a witch whose whole theme is based around suicide and wanting and waiting to die, but not being able to

being a witch whose familiars are malicious towards her and belittle her

trying to "fix" her believed betrayal of madoka by making a new world, ending up hated by sayaka and isolated from her friends

is still stuck as a witch while the last event happens!!! (her soul gem is never shown purified)

all of this while she is 13-14.

homura is not some cruel adult playing god because she is bored and likes the power trip and wants the world to burn. she is a deeply traumatized and mentally ill child who never got help. she is not a predator — and i honestly don't know if that is more of a "she's a predator because she's the most openly sapphic" or "she's a predator because she's traumatized and thus 'acts weird' due to trauma" belief nowadays in most anti-homura spaces, i've seen both. she is not a murderer or rapist or whatever else i've seen (yes, "homura is a sexual predator" claims exist, despite this never once even being implied). she is not an abuser — you can argue she's cold or rude, but she is not "an abuser".

if a child like homura existed irl (and they do exist), a professional's first thought would not be "this is an evil, irredeemable, abusive predator who can be treated like an adult", it'd likely be a reaction of horror and deep concern of "what happened to this child to make her act this way?". someone being "the perfect victim" — that is, being soft, demure, sweet, docile, flawless — in response to trauma is a harmful myth for a reason. some trauma victims will react with anger. some may be overly happy in an attempt to prevent further abuse. some, like homura, end up acting "cold" to try and avoid being further hurt. it doesn't mean homura doesn't experience emotion, hates her friends and wants them to suffer, is a predator, is "a bad person", etc.

think! when you write posts about how homura is actually an evil, awful, no good, very bad person with no positive traits, remember she is a middle schooler. of course, she's not a "real" child, and thus doesn't exist to have her feelings hurt over it, but consider this: would you say these things to/about a real child? are you aware that "real children" (often victims of trauma themselves) relate to homura due to this? i was one of them at 14ish, and while "homura is evil [for acting like a traumatized child often does]" discourse never left me particularly hurt, i know it does genuinely upset several people i know. and if you had, say, a real life child relative who acted "cold" after seeing their friends die horribly, would you call them an evil and irredeemable abuser as well?

#long post #pmmm #meta #madoka magica #homura akemi #nnnot my best work but 'homura not act like perfect victim of trauma? obviously EVIL PREDATOR ABUSER' takes take decades off my lifespan #abuse m #neglect m #tbh i only remembered the 'familiars can regrow witches' plotline while writing this and Realized. good fridge horror.#very long post #essays #ish

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ystrike1 · 3 months

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To You Who Swallowed A Star - By ARI (8.5/10)

Being beautiful and special is great, but it's not enough. You need to work hard too, and establishing healthy boundaries is extra hard when you have to deal with controlling relatives. Our underdog protagonist is actually a modern princess, and the actual underdog is some random scruffy boy she takes in out of pity. It's toxic. It's wrong. The main couple only gets their happy end after alot of pain, gain and growth.

***Immediate warning here. Do not read this series if grooming is an issue for you at all. There is a five year age gap with the main couple. It is unavoidable. It is pretty bad. The older party takes responsibility, and she distances herself when she notices the relationship in question is getting toxic. "I didn’t groom him on purpose!!!!" is not an excuse in any way, and nothing remotely sensual happens in this webtoon between characters that are not legal adults.***

It begins with a messy divorce. A rich mommas boy starts to abuse his aging wife, even though there's a young daughter in the mix. The wife decides to step up and be a mom. She grows a backbone, and she leaves her sparkling mansion behind in the middle of the night with her only child. She vows to forgot all frivolity. She'll never marry again. She will support herself and her daughter will learn to do the same.

Romance and money are not to be trusted.

Jiu learns this lesson very early in life.

Her mother (left) reached out to a wealthy friend after she ran from her husband. Said friend is a CEO (right), who agreed to support her downtrodden friend and her daughter until they had enough money to live. This led to a strange cohabitation situation. Two women living together with their two children, who were automatically raised like siblings.

Rin is Jiu's best and only friend, and her first crush. Frankly, she's doomed. He's handsome, nice and he cares for her.

His jealous streak is his only issue.

He steals her things when she shows interest in hobbies that aren't him. Jiu kind of becomes a doormat. Her mother is a strict force in her life. Her mother wants her to be a career woman first. Everything else is secondary. Rin is her only solace, and he really doesn't seem all that bad.

He just gets jealous sometimes.

Jiu meets Hajun and Hayul after she moves out of Rin's mansion. Her mother makes her live in a tiny studio apartment, while she runs an unsuccessful restaurant business day and night. Jiu thinks it's a little unfair. Auntie and Rin are totally willing to take care of them!!!Auntie doesn't have a lot of real friends as a female CEO, and Rin misses her! He was used to seeing her every day!!! Boohoo!

Rin starts to resort to childish tactics, to force Jiu to pay attention to him. Now that he doesn't have access to her all the time he's frustrated. He does weird things to make her come when called.

Like a dog.

Jiu doesn't notice how weird Rin is.

You see, she meets two children. Yes, Hayul and Hajun are children. She is sixteen. They're not in high school. Hayul, the girl, gets extremely attached to her when she is shown a single scrap of kindness. Jiu gets suspicious and sadly she is right. The twins are both horribly neglected...and they live right near her apartment. Jiu makes rice for them, because nobody ever helped her when her father was beating her mother in that awful mansion. Hayul is 10 and Hajun is 11. It's a very tense situation. Jiu is actually injured by their abuser at one point. The grandmother in charge of caring for the twins is absent-minded, and she refuses to see that her son is a piece of trash.

Jiu....gets dragged in. It's too similar. It hurts. Her rich and powerful grandmother enabled her father. He was never punished for beating her mother, or neglecting his child.

Her.

Jiu continues to step in, until she's basically their mother at 16.

She even attends Hajun's high school entrance ceremony. She wants to give them what she didn’t have.

Things seem to be going great. Bomi the bully character becomes Jiu's first real female best friend. Bomi is realistic and grounded. She thinks Jiu's kind heart comes from a dark past. It's weird to watch a teenager care for a pair of preteens (especially when they're not related). As soon as Jiu turns eighteen Bomi tries to set boundaries. She starts calling Hayul amd Hajun "the high school students". She's not trying to be cruel. She just needs Jiu to focus, because they're business partners. Jiu and Bomi both want to be fashion designers. It's a crazy competitive field and nepotism is nuts in Korea. Jiu can't baby two teenagers at the same time.

Bomi really respects her and her kindness, but then Hayul and Hajun start demanding more of her time.

Time she should be spending on her portfolio, because she needs to get into a good college.

Oh yeah Rin is in the background too plotting to make her a happy stay at home housewife.

She's in love with him.

They start dating.

Bomi was a gentle warning.

Rin is a real reality check. He's not a friend. He's a boyfriend. He expects more of her time and love. He tells her to choose. The clingy twins or him? Her handsome and rich childhood crush. The choice seems so obvious.

Jiu throws herself into her "Newtube" fashion video hobby to distract herself from that hard choice.

Rin is the perfect boyfriend. He supports her career decision (as long as it ends in marriage with him). He likes her friends (as long as they're not male). He calls her beautiful and perfect and he doesn't think of her as lesser. Actually he thinks she's special. Not Like Other Girls, in fact. He treats her as such. He stops playing around with women as soon as she says yes, and he doesn’t falter.

(Would you really be comfortable dating a guy that treats women like greedy s****? Even if he treats you "differently"? It's a very hard question, and this webtoon asks it. Jiu even befriends a women who likes Rin, because she doesn't actually like Rin. Just his money. The woman warns Jiu. If she's looking for real love Rin's not the right guy, because he's just another demanding rich boy under his looks. Jiu doesn't listen.)

They stay a couple for a while, while Hajun learns what jealousy feels like.

Hajun puts on some makeup, and suddenly he's got the chance to be somebody. Jiu does his makeup for her channel, and it blows up. A company emails him.

They want him to appear on a rookie idol show.

Hajun initially isn't interested. Jiu pushes him. She wants him to be more independent. He has to find a dream. He can't just eat her rice forever. She's got a boyfriend. He can't be her priority forever. Jiu even gets a part time job so she can secretly pay for his singing lessons. She lies and says the studio is doing it.

She paves the path to his success. It kinda feels like she's trying to get rid of him sometimes. She wants to fix the damage she caused by spoiling him.

Hajun starts at rock bottom. He's got NO chance with his crush. First things first he's a teenager and she's in her twenties at this point.....but also....

Hajun has nothing but his pretty face.

He offers to work for Jiu's fashion company when it opens up, but that's just an excuse to cling to her, so she rejects him.

She's setting boundaries, because Bomi and her boyfriend are influencing her.

Hajun, at least, wants to become someone she is proud of. He can't sing. He can't dance, but he goes to every single lesson. He becomes a star because he never stops. He hates Rin. He hates himself for comparing himself to Rin. A rich boy with everything he wasn't born with...

He works himself to the bone, to escape from those feelings.

He gets there.

He wins the rookie idol talent show. He wins a huge cash prize. He can buy an apartment for his little sister, and that's only the beginning.

The spell breaks for Jiu.

She breaks up with Rin, when a concerned friend sends her a message. You see, Fashion College is expensive. Rin's mom was going to pay for it. Rin went behind her back to convince his mom to rescind her generous offer, so Rin could easily coerce Jiu into marriage.

Jiu completely snaps, and she notices how wrong her relationship with Hayul and Hajun is too. Especially when it comes to Hajun. Hayul is just obsessed because she never had a mom. Hajun....loves her. Or he admires her to an unhealthy extent. She notices that the boy she's been coddling like a princess is actually about to become a grown man.

She crushes his heart.

She berates him.

She insults him, and she runs away.

All because she wants him to pursue his own success. That's 100000x more important than clinging to her.

She knows it's the right thing to do.

The truth has so many awful layers.

Hajun ruined her relationship with Rin. He was always there. He interrupted their dates. He showed up at her house constantly during the idol show shooting. He actually got caught in a scandal, when he visited her in the middle of the night just to eat chicken. He was a negative force in her life, and she didn’t even notice because they get along so well. A good relationship can be a bad one if it ruins other parts of your life.

Hajun has been texting her daily for years. That made Rin uncomfortable, and it's partly why Rin became more demanding about marriage. He used Hajun's strange behavior to manipulate her.

It's all a mess!!!!

She decides to go to her grandmother.

Her grandmother says she can have a tuition loan, as long as she agrees to give it back. Also she must date a man the family approves of.

Jiu agrees. She was a princess all along. There's no use denying it because of the abuse she experienced. She accepts the terms to escape from both Rin and Hajun.

They both come back with a vengeance.

There's a five year time skip.

Jiu successfully cut Hajun out of her life....but not Hayul. Hayul is just needy. Her feelings were never romantic, so Jiu stayed in contact with her.

That was a huge mistake.

Hayul uses Jiu's precarious financial situation against her. Yup. Hajun is a rich idol now. Hayul says they have sooooo many extra rooms. Jiu has to pay her grandmother back. Her other choice is living in a moldy slum, so she says yes.

Hajun hides his love for her, so she won't leave him again.

They start living together, like a family, again.

Rin uses his status as a Rich Boy to get on the Eligible Bachelor list Jiu's horrible grandmother is cooking up. He makes said hag believe he's already dating Jiu, and then an arc of horror begins. Jiu is just trying to open her clothing store, but everywhere she turns there is yet another toxic relationship.

Hajun becomes bearable.

Rin does not.

Remember the grooming thing?????? Yeah. That.

Rin tries to use that to force her to marry him.

Yeah.

Jiu funded the beginning of Hajun's idol career, and he even lived with her for a while. I'm not kidding Rin actually considered releasing grooming accusation articles with pictures to the press.

Jiu tells him she will never love him.

He gives up finally because Jiu doesn't care if her life is ruined. She will never trust the man who tried to tear her career away from her.

Hajun wins her heart by being reasonably nice through all the weirdness. He is jealous of other men, but he never tells Jiu to shut up and stay in the kitchen.

Hajun lightens up a little, but you never forget that he's a bit loopy. Only loving one woman is rare enough...but the woman that was also your mom and financial backer????? Yikes. I'm very glad they waited 3 more years to get married, after they became a more normal couple.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #To You Who Swallowed A Star

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