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selfsabotagingcvnt · 4 months

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2024 is the year I heal

2024 is the year I have my biggest relapse yet

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d3pr3ss3dg0th · 2 months

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If you're a vent blog and you struggle with mdd, gad, bpd, npd, ocd, ptsd, schizophrenia, have an ed or struggle with sh or substance a*use, please reblog this post if you're okay with making friends and if you're okay with people messaging you 🖤

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lostmf · 8 months

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Your father exerted his violence on others.

Your mother was sympathetic to the suffering of others.

One day you directed the violence you had inherited toward yourself.

You dished it out like your father and you took it like your mother.

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diveintomydream · 25 days

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I'm having extremely strong suicidal thoughts right now

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bl0w-m3 · 5 months

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I wish the universe would take me out so nobody blames me if I do it myself.

I wish I would die in like, a car crash or freak accident. Something that would let me die, but wouldn’t leave everybody knowing how much I was struggling in my final days.

#bpd #mental health #actually bpd #mental illness #bpd shit #actually borderline #bpd shitposting #bpd problems #bpd mood #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #ptsd #post traumatic stress disorder #tw sui #tw sh related

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mariemariemaria · 4 months

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Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality

#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh #like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good #but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees #the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support #and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well #like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people #maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a #whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously #women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women #or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak #like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years #but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people #i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse #drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles #+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries #and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation #isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote #*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now #and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad #but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing #and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol

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arionawrites · 5 months

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decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.

#nine bullet points #of diagnosed things i struggle #i struggle with #1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd #and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck #there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit #probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor #more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao #but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues #awful at establishing boundaries #sh issues #(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter)#suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal #not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao #even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like #yeah this sucks but at least i know it #at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma #OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing.#genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized #not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet #tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh #i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’#i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now #if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.

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d-i-d-suicide · 4 days

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i cut the body up today just to get enough blood so i could make art with our blood

#red paint was not enough i wanted real blood for the art #dissociative identity disorder #dissociation #dissociated #trauma #ptsd #actually mentally ill #tw depressing thoughts #tw #self h@rm #depressing shit #tw sui ideation #trigger warning blood #trigger warning sh

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misplaced-misfit-in-the-void · 22 days

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Istg if my trauma keeps getting triggered today/tonight i will relapse. Idc that I'm on day 6 of being clean and haven't cut this month yet. I just want to have a relief and forget memories from this fairly recent trauma..

#self harm #sh #tw sh #sh twt #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #bpd #bpd shit #venting

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wa1tngtill1d13 · 1 year

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12 year old me should have taken all the pills.🤦🏽‍♀️

#Traumacore #suicudal #s3lfharmm #sh mention #tw depressing stuff #ptsd #i feel numb #i feel empty #dark thoughts #depressing life #actually mentally ill #kinda depressing #crazy #autism #depressing shit #schizophrenia

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jeuneetjolie3 · 6 months

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Bro wanted to have sex with the cutter

They always look for crazy girls to have sex with

I'm an amazing fuck, an object, I'm not human, they don't care that I cutted, that I burn3d myself, that I cried at morning till I fall asleep again. at sex they don't see my scars or my pain I'm just that. A body, a fucking cup where you leave your s3men

I'm so repulsed by these tips of guys

I'm not yours I'm not even mine

#depressing shit #su1c1dal #s3lf harn #sewer slide #i wanna cvt #actuallyanorexic #sh twt #tw ptsd #actuallytraumatized #sex repulsed

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trauma-trove · 1 year

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Another appointment, another day my body doesn't fucking belong to me.

#just got over 1 traumatic appointment to face another one headon in a couple of days #im so fucking sick of this #doesnt anybody care what i want? no. its not about me. its about turning me into the perfect example of what modern medicine can do #look at how healthy and perfect this human specimen is! /you've ruined a completely good sick person is what youve done.#look at it! its covered in scars AND everything youve done to it has done jack shit to manage its medical problems.#ffs consent and bodily autonomy is a fucking joke #ptsd #tw medical #vent #medical trauma #medicalization #tw sh mention

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ink-asunder · 2 years

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I think going to school was literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

#and i have been assaulted on multiple occassions!#i'm writing some school-related scenes in a story and all of them are So Much to just write down and I am having Symptoms of Trauma #idk i think it was the constant disregard and downplaying of my rights as a human. the lack of bodily autonomy because i was a minor.#the relentless bullying from peers who literally called me It and That Thing and threw a fit if they touched me #being humiliated every time I Exhibited Being Human (like going to the bathroom during break or grunting while exhibiting physical Effort)#not to mention the time some kid sh-ed and said I bit him and the entire middle/high student body witnessed against me #when nothing could've physically taken place. and the principal literally told me (at least TRY to make your story believeable)#Not to mention how my family treated my grades. it was standard shit but at the same time. the fact that parents ALLOW the kind of abuse #that goes on in schools is among the most fucked up parts of our culture #parents don't give a shit. and they don't believe you. and They have it worse as adults so why are You complaining about having 6 hrs #of homework a night. and dedicating stupid amounts of time to school. and complying to a schedule that ruins your body #i literally homeschooled because i wasn't physically able to keep up with mainstream school. and homeschool was faster. 4hrs a day tops.#not to mention the teachers who were total creeps and totally assaulted several students. yeah parents believed that one too.#ugh i have ptsd from severe medical trauma (the aforementioned assaults...) but the idea that EVERYONE is going through this school shit #it hurts my soul more than my own traumatic experiences. this isn't okay.#anyway i'm 23 and dropped out of college but for any of you still going to school--please take care of yourselves.#i'm here i hear you and you need better.

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shamelessfishksj · 2 years

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it's one of those days in which I wonder if everything that has happened to me is my fault and I get the uncontrollable urge to hurt myself in any way

#mental illness #can't sleep #anxitey #help #ptsd problems #depressing shit #sh #depression

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diveintomydream · 1 month

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Why do some people experience so much pain in so many ways through life? I am one of those people.

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what-wait-why · 16 days

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quick & shitty mh hc using this template

#crow.png #mh #the only person remotely close to coping w the whole thing is jess bc she wasn't dragged into the heart of it #tim /was/ coping‚ but it was rocky‚ and then he got fucked over. still doing better than anyone else‚ bar jess #idr if it was cannon that brian was a med student? even then that isn't a guarantee he'd know abt ptsd (esp. in the 2000's)#either way he knows most of his stuff via tim. he knows coping methods but take one look at hoodie and tell me this man is using them #alex vaguely knows what ptsd is bc he's a horrorslut. he hasn't coped well with a single fucking thing that's ever happened to him #jay vaguely knows what ptsd is but in the direction of 'sometimes tim gets flashbacks and weird and quiet.'#he isn't coping with SHIT for most of the series. tim impresses a few sh alternatives onto him but ultimately he dies before he gets there #y'know what i wanted to drop alex and jay in paralleled postitions here but it really doesn't work #I'd drop jay more in the center of 'not coping‚ but still under the 'doesn't know' line

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