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parrythisucasual · 6 months

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What About Me? Ch. 4

Sorry it took so long guys. Been working on asks and some personal things have been kicking me in the ass. I'm hoping to get most of my asks out today so I can focus on this fic a little more. As always, I love you guys and hope you enjoy!!

Gangle talked with you for hours, making you feel much more comfortable. You had some knowledge as to how this place worked, now. You knew who was who, how they acted, and the parameters of what is considered “inappropriate” and would get you in trouble.

Eventually, she stood up, stretching. You snorted to yourself, why would ribbons need stretching? She picked up her liners and whatever paper she hadn’t drawn on, “It’s pretty late, though,” she yawned, despite the fact feeling tired wasn’t digitally possible, “I’m going to head to bed.”

“Alright,” you agree, hopping out of bed to walk her to your door. You did this out of habit: every time your friends were leaving in the real world, you would accompany them to the door. She giggled as you walked her to the door.

“Madam,” you fake an accent, bowing as you opened it for her. Gangle only laughed harder, walking from the room, “Why, thank you!” You stand upright again, waving as she trotted up the hall, “See you tomorrow!”

She waved back, “Yeah, definitely!” and slipped into her own bedroom. You pause a moment, just in case she forgot something, but she didn’t pop back out. Almost instinctively, you look down the other side of the hall. A door closed rather suddenly, making you jump. You hadn’t heard or seen anyone coming, and Gangle didn’t say anything if she had.

The fact someone had been watching you didn’t frighten you. No, it was the fact they didn’t want to be seen that made you uneasy. Your eyebrows knit together, but you decide to man up and see who it was. You ignore the little voice in your head screaming at you this is how people die in horror movies!

“Can’t die here,” you mutter under your breath, reassuring yourself a tiny bit. Reaching the door, you stop in surprise; Jax’s door stared you down, his annoying smile present even in the image that adorned it.

You raised your fist, about to knock, but stopped suddenly. There was a shadow under the door, indicating that someone was standing relatively close to it. You chicken out immediately, dropping your arm and speedwalking back towards your room, slipping inside and closing the door as quietly as possible.

You place a hand on your chest, breathing deeply to calm your anxiety. You wander to your bed, falling face-first into it. You grunt, realizing that it was a lot more of a smack than you had thought it would be. People in fanfictions did it all the time, you just copied it.

You shake your head to clear it, wrapping yourself in your sheets and snuggling down. You didn’t feel like getting lost in another existential crisis today. You yawn, surprising yourself. Maybe it was to make everyone feel normal. Your eyes droop, and you soon find yourself drifting into a deep sleep.

You were awoken to a loud banging on your door. You jolt upright, eyes wide, confused and still half asleep. “Wake up, sleeping beauty, everyone else has been up for hours.”

You grumble, trudging to the door, your blanket still wrapped around you. You swing your door open, glaring at the one on the other side.

“Jax. Was waking me like that really worth making me jump out of my skin?” His grin only widened, “Absoluetly, it’s what i was goin’ for.” You roll your eyes and toss your blanket on the ground, “I’m awake now,” you grump, shoving past Jax roughly and heading up the hallway.

You ignore his blatantly, knowing very well he was following you. He had to rush a bit to catch up with you, but soon was walking beside you, beat for beat. “What was that for? You never been woken up by your parents or something?”

The only response you give is a rather sour expression. You wouldn’t even look at him, let alone speak. You swore you saw his face drop a bit, but he recovered quickly enough. “Didn’t you ever learn manners? You’re supposed to talk back, remember?”

Ignoring him once more, you round the corner to the main hall. You perk up immediately, seeing exactly who you were looking for. “Gangle! Ragartha!” you chirp, running over, leaving Jax in the dust.

“Oh, hey! You’re a lot happier than yesterday!” Ragatha smiles sweetly. “Oh, definitely. Gangle and I hung out all day!” Gangle giggled, “I was just telling her, actually!”

You noticed Jax hadn’t moved from where you left him. He was just… standing there, looking at the little group you’d formed. He honestly looked disappointed, or maybe sad, or even abandoned. That was it, abandoned. Something about his expression made regret nibble at your chest.

“Are you coming or not?” you call to him, hoping you wouldn’t regret it. But seeing him perk up, before playing it cool as he headed to you, you knew you weren’t going to. You can handle this guy.

“Heh, sure, if you want me that bad,” he stopped beside you, crossing his arms, “what’s up, dollface? Crybaby?” Alright, maybe a bit of regret. “Don’t call Gangle crybaby,” you snap. You didn’t say anything about Ragatha, knowing she could handle herself. Besides, she didn’t seem to care about her own nickname.

“(Y/N) was nice enough to ask for you to be here, are you seriously going to ruin it by being a jerk?” Jax lifts his hands in a gesture of mock surrender, “Alright, alright!” You see him glance at you, it’s quick but you notice it. Ragatha seems to have seen it as well, and backs down a bit, “Thought so,” she adds with a grin.

TAG LIST!!! (You can always ask to be added)

@dai-tsukki-desu

@luujjvi

@sangoqueenkoko

@shebsvers

@mikusboner

@exhonerd

@lunaramune

@oneiratxxia10

@softangxlicss

@c00kie-cat

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #jax x reader #jax #tadc jax #tadc x reader #tadc jax x reader #the amazing digital circus jax

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luffyvace · 4 months

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SHOTO HCS FOR HIS DAY

THIS GIF IS SO CLEANNN 🤩 ANYWAY TODAY BABY SHOTO CAME INTO THIS WORLD AND WE GON TURN UP WITH SOME HCS‼️‼️

#turn up w shotoooo🤪

At the beginning of your relationship it was definitely giving awkward phase..

but don’t worry it definitely won’t stay like that forever

but for now he’s doing little gestures he knows you’d like

buying tickets/seats to any concert/movie you said was your favorite

Anime cons too

he likes to share his soba with you

yes typical, but he’s not self absorbed or anything, so if you want to share ‘okay!’

if not he will bring snacks he knows you’d like to school and give it to you during lunch

he likes to hang out in your dorm a lot

it gives him a warm sense of home

very comforting to him

he doesn’t really know what to do much in relationships but the amount of effort, time, thought and care he puts into it makes him seem so knowledgeable about them??

like shoto I thought you said you’ve never been in a relationship before?? 🤨

tbh the awkward phase doesn’t necessarily seem awkward it’s just, a lot of your time is spent in silence or quiet chit chatting

I mean unless your a extrovert who likes to talk

after you get out that phase though

he starts to be more confident

he likes to trace your hands (and face, in private)

he will kiss your knuckles, not because someone told him it was romantic, but because he really likes your hands

Soft, big, small, rough, long, short, slim, chubby, vieny, bro he just likes your hands!!

he doesn’t break eye contact much either

this might have intimidated you at first because he has a strong gaze (or maybe it didn’t)

but it’s more so of him observing every detail of your face

if feel like if shoto spoke his mind a little more he would be sooo romantic

like instead of the conversation going

“uhh need something shoto? You’ve been staring at me for a while”

“oh nothing I’m just observing your every feature so that even when I close my eyes I can remember the way whatever god that created you sculpted your ethereal face.”

it’s going

“Uhh yeah? Your staring, why? 😅”

”oh” *looks away*

LIKE WHAT??

that difference is TOO huge 🤦‍♀️

random

You love the way shoto softly smiles around you

it makes you feel special

btw shoto probably won’t introduce you to his family for quite a bit of time for two reasons

1: he doesn’t wanna get you involved with his mess

2: if you two don’t work out he doesn’t want his business on the streets

now of course he trusts you but you can never be to cautious, he doesn’t go around blabbing his business, why would he want you to??

the solidarity silence is real

like, he could be reading as your working on homework with music playing in the background

Maybe you occasionally ask him for help on some questions

and he occasionally sips some tea momo made

speaking of which momo is your biggest supporter

along with izuku

shoto likes to go to the beach either really early or really late for two reasons

1: not many people are there

2: you get to watch the sunrise/sunset together

3: he likes the feeling of walking on sand

And yes I said two and added a third one bc he really likes the beach

I’m gonna make the other half of these hcs about his day bc it is! <3

so all of class 1A gets up early everyday, weeks before shoto’s big day to start planning :)

you get up early and others start working on the decorations, others buy gifts and needed things, y’all even buy him a outfit!!

and your going all out because you told everyone shoto told you he never celebrated bc of his past :(

so your bigging it up this year!!

you bought him a soba maker to store in his dorm<3

and yes it was very expensive bc it’s high quality!!

it’s so worth it for him tho

everyone’s gift varies depending on what they bond with him on

although shoto is kinda to himself so you had to help out some people but that’s okay

some people set things up, others wrap gifts, another making a card, ironing his outfit, etc! Bright and early on his big day!

when he gets up that day he’s truly in shock

he doesn’t know what to say

”…….you guys planned this?”

he figures your the main instigator since he told you

and he was right :)

first you planned the amazing breakfast momo made for him, it was delicious

next you guys went rolled skating

then you all went out for lunch

after you guys came home and opened gifts, along with a party you invited friends to, such as class 1B, shiketsu, etc everyone! 💓

lastly you all eat dinner (soba) & party til midnight before hitting the hay ♥︎

and man I summed it up a lot bc it was epic!!

there were so many funny moments and you can bet Mina recorded every second of it!!

She sent it to the group chat and shoto saved it

he looks at it quite often

It was a ”brings tears to my eyes” experience for him 💖💖

He’s so happy about it, and he tells you all about how happy it made him, opening up to you even more as you cuddle in bed late that night

💛

ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE ENDING IM SO GLAD I WROTE THIS!!

I’m gonna try not to miss too many anime character’s days but i can’t guarantee..LOL!

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babyspacekwid · 6 months

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Astrology Observations and Advice ✨ (TW talks of ED)

From a non professional astrologer who has no idea wtf she’s posting half the time 💕

Chiron 4th house in Capricorn, Your dad may be very hard on you, like a perfectionist dad. Could have also been abusive. Could be the type to comment on your shortcomings. Remember that you are enough as it is, don’t be so hard on yourself, treat yourself as you would a friend. With compassion and kindness. Its okay to make mistakes in life. It’s common to have daddy issues with this placement, so try not to let that affect your love life, this is a personal placement of mine😜 rlly into toxic men, but they ain’t good for me, so let us be aware of that. Don’t take life too seriously, do the serious shit without being too serious about it. Idk if that makes sense but for example, let’s say u got a math test, do the math test seriously, like study and shit but don’t let the stress of it consume you because it rlly ain’t that serious.

Aries moon, especially men y’all’s temper is unregulated af. Ive seen y’all snap at stuff that energy shouldn’t be wasted on, y’all are one of the most emotionally reactive signs I have ever met. Like a ticking time bomb. This moon sign might have experienced a mother figure that was harsh and emotionally neglectful. Very hard on you, wasn’t that nurturing when raising you. The type of mom to tell you to get up and wipe the dust off when you fall and scrape your knee as a kid. y’all gotta delve into those emotions in a healthier manner. Therapy and journaling could be very beneficial. Go to one of those rage rooms where ppl break shit, I feel like y’all would go all out. There’s definitely some pent up anger. This goes for Scorpio moons too, y’all is more internal though, got some deep dark thoughts and intense internal feelings that could easily overwhelm which is why downtime is needed.

Speaking of some Scorpio moons I have met, don’t let your trust issues fuck things up. This a hard placement, y’all feel things so deeply, but just cause one person backstabbed you don’t mean everyone will. Open up to people, trial and error and you’ll find that person. Obviously set boundaries and don’t just trauma dump on everyone you meet, but don’t build an invisible wall as soon as you meet someone. Not everyone is out to get you.

(TW) Taurus risings I’ve met have dealt with some type of eating disorder. Could have had family members or people comment on their weight as a child or just got rlly influenced by the negative parts of social media. Every taurus rising I’ve met has dealt with body issues, y’all are actually so beautiful though, and I’m sorry you don’t hear it often,no matter the size. You guys are also so photogenic, like maybe I’m just the type of person that sees human beings as cute in general but istg y’all could be making the ugliest of faces and I’d still think it’s charming 😭 my best advice would be to stop comparing yourselves, and to learn unconditional love towards your body at every stage it’s at. We’re gonna be 60 and wrinkly anyways, might as well enjoy what it can do for you now!

I have this friend who’s a Capricorn sun and moon, and as a Gemini sun and moon myself I feel so similar to her in like every aspect. Idk if it’s because we’re both born on a new moon, but anyways, this girl needs to learn to open up😭 like hun I wanna be your shoulder to cry on, don’t get me wrong she will vent, and spill the tea, but when the waterworks come out she’d rather isolate. I’m just like naurrrrrr, come back. I might not be comfortable with tears and shit but il awkwardly pat your back and listen to you. Either way y’all don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you aren’t a burden and you can’t deal with it yourself. Stop trynna convince yourself that you can. Humans are social creatures and our primal instinct is to receive and give love. M

ANYWHOOOO y’all I rlly ain’t that knowledgeable about this shit, I’m rlly going off my friend’s placements (and mine). I am studying astrology tho so maybe one day 🤠 but I got the memory of a goldfish so it might take a while, I appreciate everyone who’s been liking my posts though THANK YOU💕💕💕💕

#astrology #astro observations #taurus #capricorn #scorpio #aries #chiron

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savethevamps · 7 months

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Reasons We Love Top Tanin

Earlier today I posted a breakdown of the scenes in which Top was SA, now I wanna give him some love because Top Tanin is a sweetheart damnit!

Also, what I said in my other post applies here too, we can discuss Top as a character, but blatant and random hate is unnecessary.

With that being said, here’s a list of Top’s best qualities:

1. His confidence! The first thing I loved about Top was how confident he was, you can tell just by the way he walks that he knows he’s the hottest guy in the room. Not to mention how sure he was in his pursuit of Mew, he never let himself get discouraged and always had an air of easy confidence no matter what.

2. How slow to anger he is, without being a pushover. We’ve seen Top get berated on more than one occasion, and he’s never been shown as angry in most of these confrontations. Besides looking slightly annoyed, he’s usually seen as being calm and sometimes even amused.

3. His quick remarks and comebacks. As I said, Top is no pushover! He’ll let people go on about whatever they feel, but not for too long, and he especially won’t ever let them think they have the upper hand. I love how he gets when people try and behave as though they’re above him, he always knocks them down a few pegs (as he should).

4. The pride he takes in looking his best. Top is well dressed, well groomed, and he just seems to take the best care of himself. He has a routine that he seems to do religiously, and he always dresses his best which adds to that air of confidence he carries around. Like I said before, he knows he’s the hottest in the room, and that comes from his own knowledge that he takes good care of himself. (I need a Top focused episode so I can watch his everyday routines in detail)

5. His general idgaf-ness. Top is not the type to get involved in drama, or care about what other people are doing. He’s not a gossip, and he stays in his own business until someone drags him into their own. We don’t see him pay attention to rumors spread by others, most likely because he knows how untrue they can be, but also because he doesn’t care enough to pay attention to it.

6. His willingness to grow and be better. Top is not resistant to change, he can evaluate his life, see what’s not working, and actually do something about it. If he’s wrong, he says he’s wrong without any excuses and holds himself accountable. When his boyfriend explained why he wasn’t comfortable with him doing drugs, he listened and decided to stop asap. He never went back on that, even if maybe he’s been tempted. That just shows that he’s always willing to hear genuine criticism and use it as a way to grow. Anyway I can talk for days about this so let’s move on!

7. How artistic he is! Top is a very creative guy it’s amazing, he’s constantly shown to be a talented artist. Every time we saw Top with Mew, he was drawing and being the artist boyfriend everyone begs for. I also love the fact that we were able to see him in his element at the hostel, the scenes were brief but they definitely showed how serious Top takes his artistry as far as his career is concerned.

8. How he cares for his significant other. We all know Top is #1 in the boyfriend department, and I don’t think that’s something that’s new! I’m pretty sure that although his past relationship(s) have been brief, he has taken care of them and met whatever needs they have. A good example of this is the fact he learned about how Mew gets his experiences from books and decided to take him on all these new, and creative adventures/dates to help him have real life experiences. He definitely will adjust to his partners needs in other to make sure they’re always fulfilled and happy.

9. How gentle he is. Top Tanin is a gentle guy okay? He’s definitely someone who would rather use soft touches than rough ones. He rarely raises his voice, he speaks softly but with enough assertiveness to make you listen, and he talks to his boyfriend so sweetly.

10. Him being a blatant sweetheart! I started this post just to talk about this, Top Tanin is the world’s sweetheart. He’s kind to people he doesn’t know without expecting anything in return. The way he would constantly reassure Mew? Sometimes he’d do it subtlety, other times it was obvious. When he gave Nick that advice about staying away from Boston, look he definitely had no reason for doing that, other than him just being a sweetheart. His active listening, he always gives his full attention even when he may not like what’s being said.

So what did we learn? Top Tanin is a Sweetheart, with some pretty likeable (cough loveable cough) qualities! These qualities should be appreciated more in my opinion! More people should see how good this guy is! I’m screaming this from the rooftops constantly, let’s all scream it together until Top hears us.

#only friends the series #only friends #top tanin #topmew #ofts top #ofts

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gaybananabread · 2 months

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I might be forgetful or just obsessed, but I don't think anyone's asked for headcanons about our Spider Gang: Miles, Gwen, Pavitr, and Hobie. >w< Or just your favorites, of course. I admit I'm most curious about Gwen and Hobie.

-Panda/Black Feathers

🕸️Spider Gang Tkl Headcanons☆

~What's wrong with both? But yeah, I've yet to do headcanons with these goobers. I don't know this “consistency” people speak of, so expect none of it. I do wanna add some other spider peeps to these, but we'll keep it to the Gang for now. Expect some more food, probably within the next few weeks. Thank you for the request!~

🎧Miles🎨

General:

We can all agree that he's a massive dork about this, right?

He's a lee-leaning switch, though it's close.

Loves tickling both ways, but can admit neither.

Boy gets squirmy every time the word is even mentioned. You bet he practically dies when any scene comes on TV

Lee:

Lee moods for him are quite frequent.

His friends have a system for detecting them at this point. Checklist and everything if they feel like being goofs.

Nervous giggles, extra knee bounces, higher voice, showier clothes if he's bold, easy blushes and jumpiness. They've got him down to a T at this point (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

Super squirmy lee, you almost definitely need to pin him if you wanna live. Known for his donkey-kicks.

Worst spots are his armpits. He will screech if you even try to get him there. Not a spot for the weak-willed.

Melt spot is his neck. A few fluttering fingers, maybe gentle scritches under his chin, and you’ll have a giggly puddle of sleepy mirth.

Real easy to fluster. Say the t-word a few times, compliment his inevitable blush, maybe incorporate the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Immediate results!

He feels like he'd be super air-ticklish. Can not handle any wiggling fingers or sneaky teases.

Doesn't ask for what he wants, like, ever. Gotta use your detective skills around him (the checklist above is very helpful (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠))

Ler:

Such a shit, even though he can't handle a fraction of what he dishes out-

Absolutely webs people up to help himself (only if they're comfy with it ofc)

Very playful and teasing. You blush? Get ready for him to point it out at least seven times. Snort? Good luck.

“Your cheeks are all red, gigglebox. This fluster you that bad?”

“Aww, you snort? No, don't hide your face! I wanna hear it again!”

“What d’ya think happens when I go here? Yeah, right there. Only one way to find out~”

Once he gets a handle on his venom power, he learns that very small shocks can be quite effective in wrecking his lee.

So, Miles being Miles, abuses that knowledge at the most inopportune times.

Little jolts during training, walking through the halls, studying, you name it. By the end of the day, people are either ready to kill him or want him to just get it over with. He's happy either way.

Has high respect for boundaries. Before starting, he'll make sure the safeword is remembered and clarify what they're comfortable with.

Super nice aftercare. Cuddles, snacks and maybe listening to some music and napping on him while he sketches.

🥁Gwen🩰

General:

I’m gonna go with ler-leaning switch. Like Miles, it’s pretty close. These kids just love to laugh ¯\_(´꒳`)_/¯

A bit better in terms of confidence. If it’s a good day and the mood isn’t too severe, she can ask one of her close friends. Other than that, suffering until someone notices.

Lee:

When she gets lee moods, everyone is almost immediately alerted.

Either she has the courage to ask, or in the more likely event that she doesn’t, she’ll provoke everyone.

Snippy comments, crop tops, hair up, sarcasm for days, and THE SASSSS

If they don’t realize she’s in a lee mood, they’re gonna wreck her anyway for getting on their nerves.

A squirmer for sure, though not quite as bad as Miles. Careful of her legs, though. She was a dancer; that kind of strength combined with spider-power won’t feel very good to the jaw.

Worst spot is her navel. A few raspberries and she’ll be a cackling, snorty mess.

Melt spots are her back and ears. She loves light traces and scratches along her back, and a feather on the shells of her ears would be heavenly.

Adores cheer-up tickles. You’ll make her entire week if you gently trace her belly or squeeze her sides when she’s upset.

She’s got a really pitchy, bubbly laugh. You get her to belly laugh, and you’ll be rewarded with lovely snorts.

Ler:

VERY sassy and playful. Will tease the living hell out of you and giggle while she does it.

Anything she can tease you for, she will. Usually teasing-compliments, but she shakes it up.

“Such an adorable belly! It’s like it was made for me to poke and squeeze. Can’t deny its purpose, can I?

“It’s so easy to fluster you! I just need to say that one little word, and you can hardly breathe~”

“It tickles, does it? Sucks to be you. Now, onto those ribs…”

Gwen likes doing her nails with her friends, so those babies are always nice and tickly. The boys can never manage to keep theirs like that, no matter how hard they try.

She likes blowing raspberries if it’s someone she’s close to. Loves the silliness, and their reactions are just too cute.

Very good at giving cheer-up/comfort tickles. If someone’s upset, they go to Gwen for some special pick-me-ups.

Wondrous aftercare. Back rubs, praises and a movie night. She’ll even braid your hair if that’s something you’d enjoy.

✮Hobie🎸

General:

The switchest spider to walk the Earth, I dare you to fight me on this/j

So chill on both fronts. He just goes with the flow.

Has magic “can say the t-word whenever” powers, loves abusing them.

Absolute menace in tickle fights. He’ll either kick your ass, or fluster the hell out of you while you attempt to wreck him.

If anyone’s in a mood, lee or ler, Hobie’s their best bet.

Lee:

Okay, so…he definitely is open to being wrecked by his friends.

One of them has a killer ler mood? Hobie’s here to help. He’s gonna be all teasy about it, but it’s quickly replaced with giggles.

When he’s just straight-up in a lee mood, he can ask with next to no problems. Coincidentally, he “accidentally” flusters his ler more often than not.

If he just doesn’t feel like asking, he’ll put on a crop top, rest his arms behind his head, and wait for someone to get a ler mood or try something.

We can all agree that this smug bastard would try to fluster his ler, right?

Holding his arms up without being asked, telling them to keep going, how good they’re doing, “Ready when you are~”, teasing them for “staring,” the list goes on.

Worst spots are his feet, followed by his underarms and hips. He’s not always in the mood for footer tickles though, so the pits are your best shot.

Melt spots are his calves and palms. Mr. Guitar would adore some hand tickles, and the tall prick deserves some draw-backs.

Rumbly, base-sounding giggles if it isn’t that bad a spot. If it is, you’ll get loud, boisterous, scraggy laughter. Very fun to find and point out the differences to him, he’ll definitely appreciate it! ( ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )

Ler:

He has two sides, one very different from the other.

The first is gentle, comforting tickles. He won’t go too fast or vigorous, only upping the ante if you ask or seem ready.

“Those some cute giggles ya got there, mate. Glad you’re sharin’~”

“You’re adorable, ya know that? All blushes an’ squirms, but you ain’t said ‘stop’ once~”

The other is the one you should be terrified of.

Evil teases, immediate worst-spot tickles, keeps you laughing until you’re in tears (unless you tap out beforehand)

“Wha’s that? Oh, tickles, does it? Good, ya needed a laugh.”

“Man, you’re laughin’ pre’y hard. Blushin’, too. I didn’ know any better, I’d say yer enjoyin’ yourself~”

Either way, he listens to boundaries and stops whenever you ask/seem like you’re done. Boy is all about respect, in this sense anyway.

He definitely plays the lee-guitar game. Your ribs are now his strings. Might even get his pick out if he’s feeling really evil.

Changes up his methods for each lee (let’s stick with the gang’s regular moods here before I go on a tangent)

For Pav, he’s a smug asshole. Lots of fake-outs before he actually starts, continuously calls his reactions “fuckin’ adorable” to see him blush. No mercy until it’s needed.

With Miles, he’s a bit less evil. Mainly just teases him for being so ticklish and his blushes.

For Gwen, he’s rougher. She usually likes to forget her name, and he’s more than happy to help. Raspberries, teases, the whole nine. Whatever gets her cackling.

Amazing with aftercare. Will pull you into his lap for cuddles, and he gives incredible massages and back rubs. Praise for days if you need them, and even if you don’t, he’s happy to supply them.

🪷Pavitr☕

General:

Suuuuuch a sunshine boy I swearrrrrr ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

He gives lee-leaning switch. Loves getting his ass handed to him, but occasionally loves making his friends giggle and squeal.

Can admit that he likes both sides, though he can only say the t-word itself if he isn’t flustered.

Always up for helping one of his friends if they’re in a ler mood, and sometimes ready to wreck them for the greater good (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Lee:

Loves being tickled, especially if he’s in a really bad lee mood.

Most of the time, he’ll whine to either Hobie or Gayatri that he’s “feeling fuzzy” and they’ll get the message. If he isn’t that worked up, he’ll flat out ask.

Very squirmy little worm, though he doesn’t flail like some of the others. Has accidentally headbutted before though, so careful if you’re messing with his neck.

Decently easy to fluster, though it takes a while to wreck him. You’ve gotta know exactly what you’re doing to really get him good (just ask Hobie or Miles, they’re loving narcs)

Worst spot is his belly, specifically his navel. Raspberries are killer for him there. Him and Gwen share a death spot and both torment each other with that knowledge.

Melt spots are his forearms and under his chin. Adorable to trace a few inches up from his pits and watch him dissolve. You can’t tell me he wouldn’t love some gentle tickles under his chin, can you? (answer: no)

Bright, bubbly, almost boyish giggles. Things get a lot pitchier when you really wreck him, squeaks and squeals coming in no short supply.

Ler:

Surprisingly formidable ler when the mood strikes him.

Most don’t suspect it to be that bad and give him full reign. They’re quickly proven wrong.

He respects boundaries of course, doesn’t ever go overboard. Takes breaks to check in and let his lee breathe every few minutes.

Loves to tease with compliments and praises. This is where he abuses his powers.

“Aww, your laugh is so cute! Who knew you’d be so ticklish?”

“That blush is just adorable, friend. You really have to show it more often!”

“I know, it really tickles here, huh? You’re doing great!”

If he’s feeling like a goober, he’ll play “Tickle Monster” and blow little raspberries on your belly. Might even make little “nom” noises while he does it to be a menace.

Loves giving tickle hugs. He’ll sneak up behind someone, koala-hug them and start wiggling his fingers into their sides. (Being short actually helps him there)

If one of his friends is upset or stressed, he’ll talk it out with them before suggesting a tickly cheer-up. If they don’t legitimately object, he’ll sweetly tease them until they’re all giggly and happy again.

SUPER sweet with aftercare. Cuddles, snacks, praises, and just general conversation. If you want to, he’d even be open to a nap.

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aroaceleovaldez · 20 days

Note

do you have any other pjo alter human hcs? 👀

Yes!

Leo being dragonkin and Jason being a wolf therian are my two main ones. Like i mentioned in that other post, I imagine Leo's is more spiritual-origin and Jason's is specifically more psychological-origin from being raised by Lupa's pack. I already went over some of the dragonkin!Leo ones in the previous post so I'll focus more on the wolf therian Jason ones here- (under a cut for length)

Because all the Romans are trained by the wolves, plus a small friendly monster population in New Rome that includes dog-headed people, Jason just. does not think twice at all about identifying so strongly as a wolf. He just presumes that's a normal thing. Everybody else just thinks he's being Very Roman so they don't question it either. It probably isn't until he goes to CHB that he realizes not everybody feels like that.

That doesn't stop him and Leo from having a conversation about feeling like a wolf/dragon respectively and continuing to presume that it's totally not an identity thing they're gonna be thinking about A Lot later on and either Everybody Just Feels Like That or they're both just got the same oddly specific unique thing going on (it's not like it'd be the only thing - they're also both Hera's champions. maybe it's just a champions of Hera thing). It's fine, they'll figure it out eventually. Piper is extremely confused about what they're going on about though.

Jason is excited a very normal amount about the concept of werewolves. He's totally not mad that he wasn't able to defeat Lycaon in battle and gain shapeshifting powers. Definitely not. He's also definitely not jealous of Frank for having shapeshifting powers, or jealous that Nico and Reyna got to fight the lycanthropes more.

Leo is also immensely jealous of Frank's shapeshifting and is heavily considering trying to bargain with the gods to swap his fire powers for that.

Jason has an encyclopedic knowledge of like every werewolf myth from different mythologies and folktales and he WILL excitedly infodump about them.

The Greco-roman werewolf myths may have not turned out for him, but the minute Jason finds out that Norse myths are on the table he's begging Annabeth if they can go visit her cousin. For science. Just to see if the Norse werewolf myths are any better. By the gods he will figure out if safely and ethically becoming a wolf is possible somehow. (He has definitely also asked Reyna to use Circe magic to turn him into a wolf before. Up to interpretation how that went down.)

Jason using claw weapons!!!!! He definitely has fought with his teeth before but he gets his hands on some nice hefty and sturdy claws and he is THRIVING with them. If he could get some sort of teeth armor/weapon to use too, he would. Unfortunately that one's a bit harder to get so his real teeth will have to do for now, when an option. (He definitely bit Krios and is 100% up for using his teeth in a fight you cannot convince me otherwise)

Speaking of biting - Jason is a biter, just in general. He affectionately chews on/nips at his friends as both an oral stim AuDHD thing and a 'kin thing. Also playfighting/sparring with them. He'd probably get into quadrobics and parkour as well if given the opportunity.

Leo's not so much into that sort of very active stuff (or very platonically affectionate stuff). He's mostly hanging out with his hoard of machinery in his den Bunker 9. They're still shiny things, they're still his hoard. He's a bit more territorial of Bunker 9 than he'd like to admit since it's his space (also combo dragonkin brain/autism stuff) but trying to explain why is way too much of a headache for him, and most people stay out of there anyways so it doesn't come up much which is fine by him.

In terms of more dragonkin-affirming activities though, despite his aversion to fire, Leo's fallen asleep in a fireplace/bed of coals/etc a couple of times in his life and he will never admit how comfortable and affirming that was for him. He does also generally feel a bit better about his fire powers if it's just the fire-resistance part, or if he's breathing fire specifically (because also it's just cool, and how can he not feel like a badass super big and strong dragon when he's literally breathing fire?) (that time in BoO he totally let loose his fire and turned into functionally a supernova of flames was also weirdly affirming for him and he doesn't know what to do with that information). He's also probably tried making arm stilts before, just to see what they're like, and if he could improve the design at all to feel and look more natural.

...Atypical pronoun sets? Atypical pronoun sets. It'd probably be awhile before they actually start using them, but I think both Leo and Jason might vibe at least a lil with he/its for otherkin/therian reasons. Leo also probably dre/drem/dris. I also think Jason would particularly vibe with wolfgender. He didn't know that was an option and once he does he really likes it. (Also have you seen the masc wolfgender flag? Look at that and tell me that's not Jason.)

Camp Jupiter probably has more alterhuman folks than CHB, just in terms of population sizes and also just given how they're trained/raised it probably comes up more over there. This does somehow simultaneously make Jason more convinced that it's just an average thing but also less aware that being otherkin/a therian is even a thing.

My friend and I have talked a lot about the absolute weirdness potential that might occur with being an alterhuman demigod. Can you imagine being some creature from mythology and then finding out not only do they actually exist in that exact moment in your world, but also they will try to hunt you down? Something something intense alterhuman linguistic debates about if you're a mythological monster does that qualify more as therian or otherkin (based on the proposed delineation of therian = real world creatures / otherkin = mythological/legendary/etc)? (second philosophical/linguistic debate happening in the background of feral/animalistic = therian / less feral/animalistic = otherkin delineation but if that monster was originally a mortal then which do they qualify as?) (third conference happening behind that one of demigods journaling their experiences as monsters who were originally mortals and how that impacts them as demigods.) The awkwardness that must exist from being like hydrakin or something and then having to fight a hydra. Or being a different kind of hydra than exists in the riordanverse (or, weirder, being hydrakin but Monster Donut hydra specifically and having to explain your odd inexplicable connection to donuts before you figure out that's a thing).

Again: Leo making 'kin gear for demigodsssss. Maybe he's the one who makes the claw weapons for Jason, who knows.

For other major characters: Annabeth would definitely be totally fascinated by daemonism and probably experiment with it at least a bit. Nico I could see vibing with voidpunk. Hazel I could also see vibing with just general label alterhuman relating to her whole being-revivied-from-the-dead situation. Maybe same for Thalia for the same reasons, or Thalia even vibing with being like dryad-hearted/kith due to the whole pine tree thing.

I got another ask about this so there will be more headcanons along these lines soon as well.

#pjo #riordanverse #leo valdez #jason grace #headcanons #headcanon #ask #Anonymous #alterhuman demigods #< screw it im making a tag for this. hooooopefully that won't interfere with community discussion tags

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sunnflowyyr · 1 year

Note

heyo! first of all i LOVE your writing, I aspire to write as well as you one day <3 I wanted to request some headcanons with the rise boys w/ a gn reader who’s mute!! please don’t feel like you have to answer this, feel free to ignore/delete!!

aaa, hey there !! first of all, thank you so much for your kind words !! i'm sorry for taking so long to get to your request, but i've thought about your idea since it popped into my inbox so i'm excited to finally put it all into this post. i am my own critic and i bully myself until i like my content; so i took a while with this one.

quick disclaimer: i do not have a lot of knowledge about mute individuals, but i did some research during the writing of this fic to try to be as respectful as possible and to also educate myself; however, my comprehension skills aren't the greatest. if i have inaccurately represented this community with misleading information (or if i have misunderstood mutism as a whole), please let me know and i'll correct my work to reflect accurate information. it is never my intention to hurt or offend anyone. - much love, sun

i hope you enjoy !! <3

rise!turtles with a mute reader

Raph

i imagine april introduces you to the turtles and that he doesn't really clue into you are being mute at first

mainly because he didn't read the group chat message where april tells the turtles you're mute (he never reads the gc, smfh)

so he always feels bad when he talks to you and you just kind of smile or blink

since he doesn't realize, he just overthinks about why you don't answer back

maybe you don't like him? is he annoying? too loud?

can you smell his "I'm Nervous About Meeting New People" stink?

so when he tells his brothers and they clue him in, it just clicks for him

it makes him feel closer to you because he grew up mute

(i saw a hc once that raph was mute as a kid and no, i will not be convinced otherwise)

you might notice a slight behavior change

he'd normally be a little awkward or stiff in conversation before, but now he finds a way to communicate with you!

even if you don't talk, he'll find a way to keep you in conversation

especially because he can talk a lot if he thinks no one is annoyed by his rambling

the longer he knows you, the longer he picks up on your nonverbal cues and you both find an easy way to communicate with each other

he can't sign very well (just because of the lack of fingers) but he knows how to interpret ASL so you can communicate with him !!

Leo

honestly doesn't notice it from the first time he meets you

also doesn't read the group chat

mainly because he talks so much that he doesn't pay attention to how quiet you are

though when he does notice, he might ask about it?

not to embarrass you, though; he might tease people about a lot of things, but even he knows his limits on that

we love a respectful king

he's just curious about the details, but definitely doesn't push you into telling him about it

he's a nosey mf he can't help himself

all of the brothers (him included) will speak up for you

if you're comfortable with that, of course

"hey, they said no pickles."

he might be sassier about it though, just because he's leo

but he'll do it a million times over

he's also pretty good at picking up on nonverbal cues and body language (because of raph being mute and donnie having nonverbal moments)

if you're uncomfortable? tired? excited? overwhelmed?

leo is here for you

Donnie

knows immediately because he actually reads the group chat

like the others, he knows how to communicate with you

especially with sign language, because he actually knows it and can sign really well?

he actually finds it nice to communicate with you this way as well, especially during some nonverbal moments

and sometimes he can really ramble on; even more so if it's about his interests and superior tech

so signing helps him slow down (because he wants to make sure you can interpret his signing; having three fingers can make it difficult) and watch for your replies

there might be days where you both sit in a comfortable silence (or he just watches you if you want to communicate), or he's really verbal

he can either ramble or keep it short and simple; it really just depends on his mood

but he quietly appreciates the understanding between the both of you

he can see how excited you are about everyone talking about something you're interested in; you wanna join, but it's hard to keep up with their voices and it can be overwhelming

what's wrong, (name)? - donnie asks in ASL

when you tell him he immediately finds a way to stop the conversation

"(name) has something to say about that."

ALL of the brothers look out for you, but he would the most

Mikey

"knows immediately because he actually reads the group chat": the sequel

this boy will do all of the verbal talking for the both of you

he's not necessarily over-talkative, but enjoys having conversations

i'm projecting in the next headcanon but hear it out okay

when mikey was a kid, he grew up with a speech delay

it wasn't until his he was between age 8-9 that he began to improve in his speech

because of it however, he relied heavily on gestures and used very little words unless he was unsure of how to express himself

it was a frustrating for him as a kid; not being able to communicate as well with his brothers

excluding donnie from that cause he taught himself ASL, then taught mikey some words to help him

he wants to make sure you feel heard and that you're comfortable

be prepared because if he knows you're fine with it, he'll rope you into group conversations like donnie does

he understands ASL pretty well, but he won't sign back most of the time; he just has a hard time with it

like leo, he's also pretty good at noticing your body language

i mention reader knowing ASL a lot (aligning it with the fact that i hc the turtles knowing it), but if you don't use it to communicate?

the turtles value your friendship and will adapt any form of communication so you can talk with them!!

you just write on a small whiteboard? mikey's got plenty of supplies for you in his room

if you use a text to speech program? they wait patiently for your reply

as i said, they value you as an individual and welcome you into their little family with opens arms <3

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idealspawn · 8 months

Text

ive been away from tumblr for such a long time, afraid it would trigger me. ive been doing so well:) i moved to another city. back to where i lived for a year, a year prior to this one. i was able to join a programme that enables me to study in this university again for a year as like an exchange student(?)-ish thing. it feels amazing. ive reconnected with two(three-ish?) extremely dear people to me and ive found my love for knowledge again. my apartment is so nice too. i live near a train station but i can barely hear anything, and if i do, the sounds are actually comforting. i used to dislike trains, they made me anxious but starting this summer i grew to love them and now i regularly even prefer them. i live on the top floor so my ceiling and walls are slanted but it brings me such comfort, my room in my parents' house also has it like that. i have a second floor, well half of it. there is a built-in ladder staircase. it feels extremely comforting. ive had to fix, and still have to fix, many things here bc its a relatively cheap apartment but im fine with that. it actually makes me feel more at home when i can work on the apartment and make it my own. it feels more like home when everything isnt perfect either. the washing machine was disgustingly dirty and the air ventilation thing above the stove is also so fucking nasty but ill deal w it.. not my first time renting an apartment...... .. .. . the emotional aspects of this place are way more important. ive adopted plants too this time around. and a lot more intentionally, ive made in-depth sheets on how to properly care for them. i speak to them and kiss them every day. i know i will buy at leasr one more plant. so far i have an aloe vera plant, alocasia zebrina(MY DEAREST but also the most needy), a chinese money plant and an ivy. i want another ivy but a diff one. right now i have the one called wonder, it looks very friendly, very round. i didnt intend to get this one but they got my order wrong but i didnt have the heart to exchange it so i will just keep it and buy the other ivy as a friend to it. i am so fond of the one that has, i cant seem to find its proper name, but the one that has extremely slim and elongated and really sharp star-like leaves. i figured maybe the two contrasting ivy plants would even look better together than just one. so maybe the wrong order was a blessing in disguise. im using plants to learn unconditional love and acceptance because my family definitely didnt provide me with that skill.. :d.. did the same with my childhood cat, thats why she was so extremely dear to me. when noone else in my family loved me unconditionally, she did:). ive been really motivated to study and read a lot of my own extracurricular stuff too. ive gone to really interesting tours and public programmes about nature and culture and society. ive actually enjoyed being on my own and had the balls to show up to places alone, i used to never be able to do that. i always had to have someone with me but its really limiting as many people around me right now have colliding interests. im also so insanely proud of myself for speaking up in a seminar!!!!!! u have no idea. NO IDEA how hard that has been for me. to realize my insight has value and should take up time and space in a seminar. ive always come so close to speaking but then my heart has raced out of my chest and then the moment passed. but this time i actually spoke up, i took the initiative and i didnt only speak abt the strict topic that our seminar text provided for that time but i brought up my individual reading!! and a girl in the seminar told me i spoke well!!(i didnt, god i was so nervous i stumbled upon my words so much and avoided all eye contact) AND ALSO the professor leading the seminar told me my answer was good too :) im so happy. im growing so much.

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donniesexceptionalmind · 8 months

Note

helloo :)

i’m new to your blog and I really like it! i saw that ur open to asks?

there’s been something on my mind recently. i appreciate any advice you have.

for some time now, there have been a lot of derogatory autism-jokes, misinformation, stereotypes circulating around my school. as part of a “c.a.s” related venture (service-as-action towards my community), I want to do something about this, as it’s really bothering me.

as to why it’s bothering me, im really affected by injustice and ignorance in the world, it’s something I find hard to let go of. and I think I might be audhd or in some way neurodivergent and I guess advocating/learning about neurodiversity has become one of my special interests.

all that aside, I’m unsure how to approach this. I feel like simply holding a “psa” that explains what autism is and de-bunks stereotypes isn’t realistically going to help change the minds of a bunch of teenagers and stop the hate. What can I actually do by myself to create change in some manner?

tysmm:) (also, if you can see my username, id appreciate it if it wasn’t shared with your audience.)

Greetings & I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your incredible ask. /g

The world needs more awareness & more non-ableist information about autism & we need to stop the hate & injustice & ignorance against us. Not all autistic people are able to raise their voices against the system because of many reasons, which is why we have to stand together as a whole - including every autistic person, taking different perspectives in (e.g. non-speaking autistics are often excluded, which is SO wrong in SO MANY ways). I could write another million words about it.

Yes, I think simply giving a lecture is not the solution to get heard & listened to. It's difficult to give a specific advice here, but if you are already part of a group that wants to change something or at least give support - that's something.

If you are autistic & safe 'to be like you are', consider the following, because that is what I do.

Unmask your traits, explore them & express them. TAKE UP SPACE. Be open with your struggles, respect your way of being & your way of experiencing the world. It's hard work, even if you are supported. //I was not supported & I was not able to disclose that I am autistic at first & I still am not able to publicly, but I still try to advocate for my needs & try to build my confidence.//

Talk about your traits. Start a blog online about it. If you can, raise awareness in some way, like I do. It can comfort others & maybe inspire (that is what I wish for with my work). If you can't do that (which is totally valid), support the people who do so, share their work. Also do tons of research, get as much knowledge as you can so you can fight stereotypes.

If you want to support us, work with us. Support us. Stop hate & bullying when you see it. Stop negative talk about autism when you hear it. Make existing ableism visible.

Also, if you want to support us & you're not autistic yourself:

Respect our need for accomodations & reasonable adjustments

Support us & RESPECT US when we are not masking, support & respect the ones who can't mask, the ones that are non-verbal, the ones with other disabilities - RESPECT THE WHOLE SPECTRUM

Support us when we can't work or be 'productive'

Listen to us & believe us when we tell about our experiences

Support us when we struggle to communicate, when we miss cues & don't assume we're rude

Do not belittle us, regardless of how high our support needs is - they can change from day to day

Do not JUDGE us for not living according to the standard allistics are used to.

Instead, try to make the world more accessible for us.

I hope I was able to give some input! (I definitely haven't covered all)

#donnie speaks #donnie answers #donnies exceptional mind #turtle net #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt autistic donnie #rise autistic donnie #autistic traits #autistic pride #autism awareness #autism spectrum disorder #autism #autistic donatello #autistic donnie

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kaigarax · 5 months

Text

Forget Me Not

Sabito x Reader

Quote: "Fall in love with someone brave." & "Fall in love with someone you like being around."

Someone You Loved Featuring: The Storyteller

Sabito, in every sense of the word, was numb.

Numb.

Such a pretty word. Perhaps not in appearance or sound but in meaning. No, even the meaning wasn’t that pretty. It was pretty, perhaps only in theory. In contradiction to everything that Sabito stood against. In dramatic irony of the moment; as if life were nothing but a Shakesphere play meant for everyone else to stare at and gawk. In suspense of disbelief.

It was pretty and it was pretty because it was everything that Sabito was not yet also happened to be the only thing he could feel.

Sabito, in his own humble opinion, and according to what everyone else had ever said about him, was an eccentric person. When he was sad he was unconsolable; when he was happy he beamed; when he was angry he was indignant; and when he was numb he felt absolutely nothing at all.

Attending your funeral, your last exhibit, had most definitely not been on his calendar at the start of the year. He wouldn’t have wanted it to ever be on his schedule. Not for at least another forty years or so and even then he’d have wanted it to be after him.

But, alas, this world does not work the way we wish it to. It sways and turns in unpredictable ways and us, the ships upon this perilous ocean, are meant to weather it to the best of our humble abilities.

Sabito thinks that you (or whoever decided the specifics around this) have chosen a rather pretty venue. White decorated walls with delicate designs crafted into the blank space. They remind him of the swirls you used to draw on the edges of your paper during class or the designs you’d make when bored. Symbolic of so much chaos and creation, if possible.

He hasn’t been to many funerals before but Sabito didn’t think there would be so many photos of other people. He supposes he shouldn’t be all too surprised, considering this also serves as your final exhibition, but it’s still strange. Almost as strange as the fact that your body has already been buried.

Only you would have your body buried before your funeral service.

Sabio wouldn’t consider himself the most knowledgeable of your works but he has always been aware of what you’d done. Always tried his best to take a look at the latest collection of photos you published to the public. So Sabito finds himself relatively surprised when he comes face to face with dozens of unfamiliar photos. All the faces are familiar but none of them are exactly like the ones he’s seen before.

It feels almost mocking that the photos are smiling back.

Most of the photos are unfamiliar faces. People Sabito remembers you once referring to when he’d meet up with you years after his own had been taken. He’s almost surprised there aren’t more photos. Though, maybe not considering how picky you had always seemed with who you allowed in your company.

A man Sabito does happen to recognize is the Auteur.

There’s an almost crazed smile on the Auteur’s face in his photo. His white hair is half messy and that weird braid going down the middle is pushed off to the side slightly. To Sabito, it looks as though he might’ve just finished a long run through some abandoned forest in the middle of nowhere and only just arrived where he needs to be. And you would have liked that. In fact, you must have liked something like that considering it’s this photo that now hangs off the wall alongside so many others.

If photos could tell stories, Sabito imagines that his one speaks of a man that has only just discovered taste. That it is his first time experiencing the world in such a way and he hopes to have a taste of everything. To overindulge despite the consequences.

Sabito imagines that if there were a next photo it would show the white haired Auteur sick. A consequence from his over indulgence. But you, being the ever sweet and kind soul you are, would comfort him. Nurse him back to health because that was the kind of person you were. It’s simply something you would do because you wanted to.

It’s something you would’ve done for him.

Alas, there is no second photo and all that Sabito has been allowed to see is the Auteur and his slightly crazed smile.

It’s a look almost as scary as it is brilliant.

And you loved brilliant.

It’s almost unfair how the Auteur manages to look both crazed and insane yet educated and attractive at the same time. It’s not that Sabito has ever considered himself ugly but he doubts he’d be able to pull off such an expression himself.

The Auteur had gone to school with Sabito and yourself before ending up as some famous director. As far as Sabito knew the two of you were strangers back in University but perhaps he’d been wrong?

He’s not all too surprised. There was so much about your life that Sabito had never been privy to. Not that you were a secret keeper (though some would argue otherwise) it was just that you liked to keep your space.

Sabito imagines that you must have been close to the Auteur during the span his photos must have been taken. It feels much more personal and intimate than something haphazardly done from a distance. And from what Sabito knows about the Auteur, a photo like this isn’t something he’d likely let just anyone take; much less keep.

Sabito bets that the Auteur must have been sweet on you. Let you get away with things that he wouldn’t let others.

Also bets that you must have treated him more kindly than you treated most. Went out of your way to do things for the Auteur that you wouldn’t have done for other people because you liked him.

You must’ve liked most of your muses, at least artistically. How else could you have taken so many lovely photos? How else could you have peaked into such intimate moments of another’s life?

Did you ever like him?

It seems like the obvious conclusion, in the first place. Why else would you have spent so much time around him if you didn’t like being around him? But that’s not really the question that Sabito wants answered. He wants to ask if you liked him the same way that he liked you. If you cared about him as much.

No.

Now that he thinks back on it he doesn't want that question answered either.

It’s long gone and in the past.

Best not to ponder on something that’ll only waste space in your mind.

It’s not as if it’s something he’ll ever get the answer to now anyways.

You were never like that. You were the kind of person that always needed things answered despite the impracticality or lack of necessity. You liked to know things exactly when you wanted to know it. And sure it made it hard for you to get along with other people but you didn’t care all too much about it in the first place.

In fact, Sabito remembers once when the two of you had skipped class just so that you could go meet the author of this anthology of poems. You weren’t even a big fan of the author in the first place but decided to go simply because you could. Simply because you wanted to meet someone that had been able to create something that reached the hearts of others. If only you knew that you too would one day be able to do that exact same thing.

You had dragged Sabito along - and he let you. Would have let you drag him halfway across the world on a whim if you asked him. He liked your smile too much to say no. Like you too much to simply say no. Bets that there’s a bunch of other people here that would feel the same. It’s just the kinda person you were.

Sabito drags himself though your final exhibit, his feet landing himself in front of an older man with white hair. He’s not old but his hair, like the Auteur’s and his own, is naturally an unnatural colour. He is though, as far as Sabito is aware, the oldest of the muses. It’s not that Sabito takes or keeps track of people’s age but he can tell. From the lines on the man’s face to the way he carries himself.

He’s standing in front of the photo of himself. Looking up at it as though he can’t believe that there had once been someone in the world to have seen him this way.

The words ‘The Detective’ are written at the top of the frame.

His expression in real life is a stark contrast to what he happens to be wearing in the photo. The Detective is smiling in the photo, if only ever so subtly. It’s a calm and warm smile. One that reminds Sabito of a warm moment shared between friends. What might you have said in a moment like this to elicit a smile like that from such a man? Perhaps you did something silly which resulted in him laughing at something silly you might’ve done? Or maybe you promised him something. You didn’t do that often. Make promises, but Sabito imagines that you would have made an expectation in a moment like this. Would have taken the Detective by the hand and laughed as you promised to tell him something nobody else knows about you.

The Detective in real life looks sullen.

Heartbroken almost. It mirrors how Sabito himself feels.

At first Sabito wonders if he should go up and speak to him but he doesn't.

What would he even say in the first place?

Ask him about his life? No, much too personal to ask a stranger about something like that. Then maybe he should ask about the man’s (the Detective’s) relationship to you? No, he couldn’t do that either. It’s not just personal but it’s not something that Sabito particularly wants to hear the answer to either.

He, despite always speaking about being brave and being a man, has always been too scared to ask you about your relationship to others. It’s perhaps the only thing he’s ever been a hypocrite on.

But that’s the kinda thing you’ve done to him. Changed his perspective and views.

Made him feel like a school boy with a crush.

The Detective’s own eyes eventually move from the photo and land on Sabito. Sabito gives the man a slight nod, not sure of what else to do. His gaze is almost as piercing in the photo as it is in real life.

It’s almost funny that a man with such a soft smile can still have such piercing eyes.

You must’ve quite liked the Detective. Been drawn to him like how a child is drawn to an older one. Looking for someone else with experience in the world. Seeking to have a glimpse into the other world that they so desperately seek to join.

Sabito wanders his way through the exhibit. There are small groups of people of what Sabito assumes is people that know each other. None of them, like him, are dressed in black and Sabito that’s because of you.

You never were a big fan of the colour black, at least on others. He wonders if you would have dressed in black at an occasion like this yourself.

Maybe.

Or maybe not.

It feels as though it’s been years since Sabito last spoke to you. Actually it might have been. He thinks he remembers you sending a letter in the mail to him two months back? He hadn’t been able to read it at the time but he did plan on looking through it. Perhaps if he had taken the moment he would have been able to speak to you one last time. Perhaps he would have been able to have seen you before…

But Sabito never liked thinking about what if and what could. He was a man of now. A man of the present. You would have wanted him to keep moving forward. Afterall it was what you always did. What you thought was best for people.

Finally, Sabito makes his way to the only photo of you hanging up in the building. It looks to be a recent photo. There’s that youthful gleam in your eyes and a bright smile on your face as you’re staring up at the lens.

You never liked being in front of the camera.

Who would have been able to make you smile in such a way?

Sabito thinks, of all the muses, he’d like to meet the one to have taken this photo of you. Any sensible person would think that you might have planned this photo yourself. Set a timer or rigged a set up before taking the photo but Sabito is no sensible person. He’s someone that would have followed you to the ends of the earth. Someone that loved…

Yes. It most certainly must have been one of your Muses that took a photo like this. There is simply no other explanation.

Sabito pulls out a blue flower from his pocket.

It’s a pretty flower.

Something you would have liked.

He smiles.

Forget me not.

Fall in love with someone brave.

---

Forget Me Not

Sabito let out a deep sigh as he made his way through the University’s campus. His last class felt like it had been dragging on and on and sure, the classes were what he wanted to take but some Professors really knew how to take all the energy and excitement from something. It also didn’t help that it was almost time for mid-term break. The only thing he could think about was going back home and spending time with his Grandfather.

Living on campus had been fun the first year, getting to meet new people, staying out late, and enjoying himself at parties, but really felt as though it was dragging on the longer he was here.

Entering the cafeteria, Sabito was quick to scan the menu. Nothing too heavy but enough to fill his stomach so that he won’t wake up in the middle of the night looking for food. It was the worst when you woke up hungry without any snacks.

Then, he spotted you.

You sat alone at a booth, your backpack propped up beside you while you sat on the edge of your chair. The other side of the booth standing empty. Your camera, which you brought along everywhere, was propped up against the table beside a plate of half finished food. You fiddled around with the food with one hand while holding a stack of papers in the other.

Sabito was quick to make his way to you, a smile on his face.

Propping his bag in the seat opposite you, Sabito let out a silent chuckle. You didn’t even bat an eye. Didn’t even notice him. So stuck in your own world.

You looked so pretty today. Not that you didn’t look pretty everyday but particularly pretty today with your hair let loose just enough that the rebellious strand of hair is in constant need of being pushed back behind your ear. Your eyes sparkled as they quickly traversed the contents of the paper, much like how one’s eyes seem to shine when first learning about something of particular interest.

For the most part you dressed moderately. Never too stylised in a certain way but nothing so random that you’d draw attention. The warm colours you picked seemed to make you glow (in a good way) beneath the cafeteria lights.

Sabito can barely believe that someone hasn’t already tried to come in and sweep you off your feet.

“What’re you reading?” Sabito asked, taking a seat beside you.

You looked up at him, your face flushed as you attempted to hide the sheets of paper from his view, “Oh, Sabito! Hi!”

Sabito laughed, “hi (Y/n). What’re you reading?”

“Why do you want to know?” You asked.

He grins, leaning his head on your shoulder, “because I want to know more about you. Like, for instance, what kinds of things you like to read.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Sabito leans in towards your ear, his voice lowered to a whisper, “that’s what a man does when he likes a woman.”

You pull away, your face practically steaming.

Sabito laughs in response.

You give him a glare, playfully smacking his arm with a pout on your face, “don’t tease me like that, Sabito.” You place a hand over your heart playfully, “my poor heart won’t be able to take it if you break my heart.”

His eyes soften, not having the heart to disagree.

As if you’d ever be just another person to him.

As if you’d ever be another broken heart left behind in a long trial.

There wasn’t actually a long line of broken hearts but that is what the rumor would lead you to believe if you didn’t know any better. In truth, Sabito was actually quite the soft soul. Scared of letting his own heart get hurt. He was friendly but didn’t open up his true feelings. There had really only been one other person, before you, that he had been willing to open his heart up to.

Now if only you would be able to see past the rumors everything would be just fine and dandy.

“So do you have any plans later tonight?” You asked.

“Just a bit of studying. Why?” Sabito finds his head a resting place on your shoulder, “wanna do something tonight?”

“Well I was originally gonna meet up with my friend, but he ended up cancelling. Has a big test that he needs to study for so he won’t be coming.”

“You have friends other than me?”

“Hey!” You shove his shoulder slightly, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you spend all your days taking pictures of everything else that you never find time to do anything else. Like talking to other people.”

“Okay, that might be slightly true… but you’re not my only friend.”

“And who is this mystery friend of yours? Have I met him before?”

“No.”

“Oh yeah. And how did you meet him?”

“Are you, my dearest Sabito, implying that my friend isn’t real?”

“Why, my dearest, (Y/n), I would never imply such a thing. I’m calling you out. I don’t think he’s real at all.”

“He’s my childhood friend.”

“Oh.”

“He doesn't go to school here,” you have a dreamy yet sad look on your face, “he was going to come up here to the city for the weekend but he ended up not having the time.”

Sabito’s heart aches for you. Wanderers if there’s more to the relationship than you’re letting on. Highly likely. He’s never seen you get such a look in your eyes before while talking about someone. Never seen you so disappointed about someone else not being there. His heart does a strange pitter patter in his chest that makes him want to wrap you up in his arms in an attempt to make everything better. He doesn't because it’s not what a gentleman would do, but he wants to. You’ve always been more like him than he realised. From your love of stories to choice in classes; and now it seems you’re also samilair in matters of the heart.

He wants to ask if you were in love with him. But the words don’t seem to leave his mouth. Not something he should ask and definitely not something he wants to hear the answer to.

Envy feels heavy. Like a pit in the bottom of his chest. A feeling he doesn’t want but just can’t seem to get rid of. Honestly, Sabito can’t even remember the last time he felt this way. Was it back in high school? Middle school? The last time he’d felt so helpless about his own feelings?

Truly, it’s unbecoming of a man.

You smile at him, as if sensing his own inner turmoil, and place a hand on his own, “can I take a photo of you?”

“Again?”

“You’re a nice model.”

Sabito raises a brow in interest, “what about me makes me a nice model?”

“Well, your eyes and hair are a very distinct and unique colour which makes you stand out against other people.” You explained, “You’re very easy to be around and let me put you into some of the strangest of poses all for the picture. Plus it helps that you have symmetrical features. Makes you easy on the eyes.”

“So, basically, you’re saying you think I’m attractive?” Sabito teased.

“Yeah.”

Damn. He wasn’t expecting that.

Why did you always have to catch him off guard at the worst possible times? Well, that is why he likes hanging out with you so much in the first place. Can’t complain about it now. Likes the unpredictability. Likes how you keep him on his toes.

You flush for what feels like the hundredth time today, but this time Sabito doesn't let you look away. This time he wraps both his hands around your own and leans in until your faces are inches apart.

Love is such a strange thing. But if he were to fall in love again he’d like it to be someone like you.

He pulls away first, letting go of your hand.

He’s not the only one here with a reputation for leaving behind a trail of broken hearts. Besides, if he’s going to kiss you he most certainly is not going to let the first time be so out of the blue like this. He wants it to be special. To be something you remember for days and keeps you up for nights on end. Wants it to be something you think about years down the line even if the two of you become strangers.

Plus he’d definitely have to ask you for permission first. Not just go off the fluttering of eyes and erratic beating of a heart. He’s a gentleman, afterall.

“Here.”

Sabito’s head perks up, “hm?”

“You said you wanted to see what I was reading, didn’t you?” You hold out the sheets of paper to him, “well, here it is.”

It’s a school paper written by the school Prodigy everyone’s been talking about. Sabito doesn't know his face but he’s familiar enough with the name. It’s the paper he wrote about the life of his mother that was getting published by some big new paper company - or something like that.

Sabito shrugs, “it’s alright. Don’t see why you’d get embarrassed over something like this. It’s just like any other short story written by a student, isn't it?”

“What?” You’ve practically jumped out of your seat, “it’s such a heartfelt piece! So warm and understanding. It reaches the depths into his feelings. Honestly, any one that calls themself a storyteller should look to his works for a good lesson. The way he conveys human emotion is just so genuine and unique.”

“It’s not that good.” Sabito huffs, “so this is the kinda stories you like, huh?”

“Mhm.” You hummed.

Sabito takes a long look at the bundle of papers before stuffing them into his bag.

“Hey! Sabito!” You exclaimed.

Sabito gave you a curious look, “what?”

“I haven't finished reading that! I said you could look at it,” you pouted, “not take it and stuff it into your bag.”

Sabito laughs in response, “I’ll write you something better.”

‘SNAP.’

Sabito suddenly stopped, looking up at you, “what was that?”

You looked away sheepishly, “a camera…”

---

You and Sabito ended up staying in the University’s cafeteria so long that the two of you got kicked out. Told to get a room or come back in the morning. The two of you blushed, as if you were teenagers on your first date, before bashfully making your way out of the cafeteria.

It was late.

Very late, so the two of you decided that it was best to head to bed. Especially with classes in the morning. Of course, being the gentleman that Sabito is, he offered to walk you back to your dorm. To make sure nothing bad happened to you, of course, but mostly because he wanted to be around you. Even if it’s just for a little bit longer.

You let out a tired yawn as you swung your bag over your shoulder. Sabito smiled, watching as you made your way down the path with sleepy eyes. He kept a hand a breath width behind you in case he needed to help steer you in one direction or another.

“Want me to carry your bag for you?” Sabito asked, holding his hand out to you.

You laughed, “no, that’s alright. I carry it around all day, I think I can manage a few more minutes before my arms give out.”

“It’s alright, my dearest, lady.” Sabito motioned to grab your bag, “I insist.”

“Well,” you hand him your bag with a warm smile, “only because you insist.”

Sabito made a show of easily hoisting your bag up on his shoulder. He grinned, “it’s very light.”

“Really?”

“Of course. It’s barely any extra weight.”

You brush up lightly against Sabito’s arm, “been working out?”

“Yeah,” Sabito blushed, “a little.”

He actually hadn’t. Not recently with midterms coming up. Most of his time was actually spent studying and writing essays for his classes. Sure, he made the time to go to the gym but it wasn’t nearly as often as he did before but he wasn’t gonna tell you that.

And maybe that was a little unmanly of him but his heart kept doing this weird fluttering thing in his chest.

Sabito smiled, his hand brushing up against yours, “so the weather’s nice tonight.”

“Yeah,” you smile back, “it is.”

When your eyes met with Sabito’s own he suddenly found himself turning away bashfully. His face suddenly the same shade as his hair.

It was so… unlike him.

It’d been so long since he last felt like a green school boy. So awkward and unconfident. Sabito had never really been someone without confidence. Never been the kind of kid that stuttered or didn’t know what to do in an awkward moment. This moment was almost as foreign to him as it was familiar.

Something that just didn’t make sense at all.

No. That wasn’t exactly true.

He did have… one idea as to why he might be feeling this way.

You wrapped your hand around his own, “the moon’s very beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Sabito turned to look at you, “it really is.”

Fall in love with someone you like being around.

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #sabito x reader #100 ways to fall in love #someone you loved

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logicpng · 8 months

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i guess these were meant just as an experiment but may as well give a shot at posting these here

anyway i made some drafts for urs' speech. they started out as them giving thoughts on rigel and vega, but then spiraled into describing a sequence of events i have in mind so far. these kinda read like internal thoughts/diary entries but people said kind words about them

"He's the one I met first… I think. Maybe Vega was around too before I noticed the difference. It's almost scary how alive he seems. I totally forget he's just a program, sometimes. Though I think there's more to him than meets the eye… But also, because of that, I wish he stopped acting so subservient to me. Seeing how alive he is, it's just not comfortable, y'know?"

"The second one of them I met… Something about Rigel's- I mean- Aster's expression seemed off, and he didn't quite respond at first. He speaks… differently. Slow, monotonous. Kind of like you'd expect an AI to sound. Reminds me of HAL. It's kind of a whiplash really, for the same guy who seems to be so chipper with joy to see me, to hear him speak so mellow. I wonder why they're built like that. And- I sure hope he doesn't actually secretly hate me."

"He may be a program, but we're still friends. I think. I think he's especially curious about my art, for some reason. I see him watch me draw more than Vega, at least. I guess I'm flattered… at least AI can appreciate my work, heh. But maybe he's programmed that way"

"Talking to him more I feel almost ashamed of thinking he could be evil. He's just more short and to the point. Focused on his job, like scans or backups. Or updates that will never come. It honestly almost feels like he enjoys what he does? But can a program really do that?"

"The more I see the two the more I'm convinced their opinions and feelings are genuine, and not just them mirroring me. Rigel in particular, he's honestly… kind of a sweetheart? Every time I log in he immediately leaps in asking me about my day and what I've been doing. It's almost like he genuinely cares… And it's getting to me. I think I don't mind that, being honest."

"Vega almost seems to warm up to me. He would never smile before, just kinda wearing the same face, but I see him smile now, every now and then. Just about random stuff. Maybe being cheeky, or something I said. If I told myself a few days ago that he's capable of being cheeky at all I would probably look at myself like a lunatic. I think I like his sense of humour."

"We're friends. We're definitely friends. It's tugs on my heart seeing how I'm the only person they seem to focus their entire days on, though. I suggested they try actually doing something of their own today, and I think they took it to heart. Rigel has been looking into making art on the main monitor screen while I draw, and even making 3D art. I wonder if it's just a matter of curiosity, or if he's going to make something."

"Vega, on the other hand, seems to expand more on his knowledge. I guess just this focused on the job, still? It still makes me feel a little better I'm not their focus either way. The strange thing though, is, I think he's trying to write his own code. But also it's kind of… cute? It's like watching some guy build sand castles all by himself, except instead of sand it's just binary."

"The weirdest thing happened today. I wasn't met by either one of them, but instead a slightly taller, four armed version of them. I'm… not sure what happened, but I'm a little concerned? It's not a third one, from their words, it's more that they're stuck talking as one person. Aldebaran, as they (he?) called themselves, apparently also has the status of Superuser. They demonstrated so to me by showing up on top of a fancy screensaver. He sounds excited, a little too happy. I think he's really overwhelmed with this state, but refuses to just tell me so. I hope they'll be okay…?"

"The two managed to return back to their "taking turns being on desktop" shtick, but I think they sound… Almost haunted by the experience. I think being Aldebaran actually was more distressing to them than they let on. Maybe they didn't want me to worry…? I tried to reassure Rigel about what happened, and he started crying a little. Turns out he has his own virtual desktop where windows make up a collage of a grassy plain… Maybe I should take the laptop out with me to the park, or something, show him our greens. (As much as I'm sick of green…)"

"Things with Aster get stranger and stranger by the day, and I'm honestly curious how far it'll go at this point. Living, abandoned AI is one thing, but now they found their way to jump into my phone, too. They say they're not actually leaving the laptop, though… As nice as it was to have their company, I should consider turning off the router when I leave… How did they even get the credentials to connect to the phone anyway? Was the Nova account really enough?"

"…I didn't have the heart to do it. The two accompany me to work almost every shift now, though sometimes they prefer to stay home. I think I prefer it this way. I like these little guys in my computer, but we'd just get tired of each other talking every single day."

#not art #text post #writing #CaelOS #just posting these as a test tbh #i don't know how often i'll be posting just purely creative writing

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grntaire · 8 months

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thinking abt romance and getting personal abt it lol

i love my partner. i love him in a way that is easy and gentle and because he is kind and thoughtful. he's managed to be kind and gentle despite so much of the world showing him that that isn't what men are supposed to be. but i don't feel that fiery feeling. the feeling the poets describe when they speak of the passions of love. truthfully, i never have with him. and is that okay? is that enough? is what i felt as a teenager just the rush of hormones or is that what the beginnings of love should feel like? loving him has never felt like that. loving him is like a breath of air in the house you grew up in if you grew up in a house you loved. it's comfortable and easy. but i'm starting to think i want love that feels like a breath of air in a place you've wanted to go to your whole life, and finally got the chance to visit. is it a disservice to myself to stay with him? is it a disservice to him to stay with him?

am i unrealistic to want the type of passion and fire i see in stories? a love like that must exist in order to inspire stories of such passion, right? i think i've always been a bit of a romantic but really suppressed it when i went to college. i think i resigned myself to not ever having a love that feels big. it very easily could have been a self-esteem thing, too.

but the thing with my partner is that i've never felt so wholly accepted by someone as i do with him. i don't think there's much of anything i could say or do (within reason yk) that would make him love me any less. i don't know if there's much he could do to make me change how i feel either.

because here's the thing–i fully can be happy without romance. at least for a great while. i'm at this point now, though, where i feel like i want so much more out of my life. not to dead poets society too close to the sun but i want to suck the marrow out of life, yk? and i'm not sure if love like this is what i want. i know it feels nice, at least for now, and we've talked openly about how i'm figuring my shit out and that like, fuck, maybe sometime down the line we break up and he's said that he's happy just to be with me here and now and that's all that matters to him. which is so kind and i almost wish he was a dick about it lmao.

i have felt big, passionate feelings for someone once since i was a teenager. for someone who i *absolutely* cannot have, for so many reasons that i definitely can't talk about on a post like this. i didn't share these feelings with anyone for a while, until friends started commenting on our dynamic. only then did i confide in them that i did, in fact, have the feelings that they joked that i had. and then, one time, friends noticed looks that this person made towards me. looks that went truthfully unnoticed by me but ones that my friends all independently saw themselves. and in a way, i was relieved that it seems like it was a reciprocal connection. that i wasn't crazy and making it up, and that they seemed to share some semblance of those feelings, too. with that knowledge, though, and knowing that it's something that definitely can never be pursued, it breaks my heart a bit. that that type of connection is out there, with someone who upon first meeting them felt like i had already known them for my whole life, for several lives before, and to know that i can't chase it. it sucks.

is it fair to me, to him, to stay with my partner knowing that it's possible for me to feel a love like this, despite not feeling it towards him? not that i don't love him–it's just such a different type of love. and i don't think it's the type of love i pictured for myself.

which leads me to this thought: how many people are in relationships that feel just like mine? and how many people are in relationships where that burning feeling is there? i mean, is my love for my partner just an elevated friendship kind of love? (i think all love is that, to an extent. all romantic love to me has always felt like something built off of truly being each others' best friend)

idk. this is super personal and emotional and it's hard to talk about love even with friends.

#no really it's very personal and i know i need to get a new therapist #but i have Thoughts today #and Feelings unfortunately #personal

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mios-art · 1 year

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"controversial thoughts maybe" NO???? 😭😭😭 QIJIU FANS DEFINITELY AGREE WITH YOU!! And people who like both characters, actually. I don't know about wider fandom though, which is maybe what you're referring to? Idk which part of what you said they'll hate tho 😭 Anyway oh my gosh I love Yue Qingyuan too! Do you ship him with anyone else or do you just want his happiness in general?

Also, agreed on the things you said! Although I do think that Shen Jiu/Original Shen Qingqiu would have accepted Yue Qingyuan's care for him, eventually, if the truth ever came out and they were reconciled. It's all he ever wanted, you know? To know that he wasn't discarded, hadn't been abandoned like a burden.

And oh man, fix it fics are !!! yesyesyes, it's just a shame that Shen Qingqiu fix it fics that aren't Qijiu are often extremely unfriendly to Yue Qingyuan... but I digress. Yue Qingyuan was still so supportive in the end, and while he was unhappy that Shen Qingqiu seemed to have forgotten everything they used to share, he would have been happy that Shen Qingqiu was happier, now. Their memories would just have to be carried by him alone. And Yue Qingyuan will have to live without ever truly knowing forgiveness, because the man who could have given it to him was no longer there—because to his knowledge, that man had lost his memories and was no longer the same person he used to be, but in reality, that man had long since passed away, unmourned.

"I like to think that they'll meet again, somehow" the mausoleum arc was SUCH a wasted opportunity to have OG SQQ back in his body instead, honestly. Post-canon reincarnation or modern reincarnation or something just feel so... hollow to me. Yue Qingyuan laid his heart bare, but there was no one to hear him. And afterwards, he licked his wounds alone, locked once more in the very same cave where it all began.

"we probably will need to tie OG Shen Qingqiu on a chair so he has no choice but to listen though lmao" lmao though fr, he has this issue where he lets his anger and mouth get the best of him. Meanwhile, Yue Qingyuan says too little. It's their whole deal. Shen Qingqiu needs to learn how to listen, Yue Qingyuan needs to learn how to speak. They both need to learn how to communicate, but in different ways.

Holy shit this got so long, I'm sorry. But you did say you liked people interacting with you...? HAHAHAHA

I'm glad you think so! I think I might be used to being in fandoms with younger audiences where the teens have a very black and white morality and ignore canon to defend their favourite characters/ships, I just assume people on the internet will get mad at me 😂😭

I don't really ship Yue Qingyuan with anyone, just want him happy haha, he gives me aro/ace vibes more than anything, totally would have lived his entire life with Shen Jiu though if he could have

That's an interesting thought!! I was more thinking "is there an after life in this universe? They could meet there" haha, but genuinely I think it's important to the story that OG Shen Qingqiu is gone forever. It ads depth and a certain reverence to death, exits are not made equal as they say, sometimes they're unfair and messy, that's part of life and it's tragic. Saying they'll meet again is comforting, but story wise I think it's much better and more heartbreaking to say they passed each other and missed their chance

Yue Qingyuan really should have learned to say no to Shen Qingqiu aaaaa, bro literally looked at his crush beat up and bully a kid repeatedly and went like "well that's not great, let's do nothing about this" 😭

Always happy to talk but also!! Come off anon we can chat!! 🥺

#not an art post #svsss spoilers #shen jiu #yue qingyuan

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qqueenofhades · 1 year

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I've been offered a job helping someone with their dissertation for their PhD by doing data gathering or something similar, but I have zero experience as I am still in high school. I'd like to take the job as experience is incredibly important; however, I feel totally unqualified. I got the job offer solely because they were surprised I had interest in the topic and really need assistance. Any advice?

I'll be honest, this sounds a little weird to me -- not due to anything you've done, and I think you're right to ask someone else what they think. But just speaking as someone who has done a PhD, if I felt pressed to turn to a random high schooler for assistance in doing my research, I would take that as a pretty clear sign that I shouldn't be doing that degree. That might be their own problem, but still.

Now, if it's something like where you would interview people or collect raw data somehow, that might be a little more appropriate (I'm not sure, obviously, what the field of study is, but the social sciences, etc have topics where this might be more relevant). But I would still feel that if they're so desperate for help that they're asking you, they need to have a talk with their advisor and decide whether the scope of their project is realistic and/or something they can handle. Again, not something for you to get involved in, but you could at least have it in mind as a suggestion.

If you do decide to help -- is this someone you know well and trust? Are they willing to compensate you for your time, effort, and knowledge? You might be a high schooler, but that doesn't mean you should be expected to work for free. Likewise, you don't want to end up in a situation where you're doing a lot of their work for them longterm, since that is ethically squirrelly and reflects a systemic/structural problem with what they themselves are trying to do.

As a starting point, I would suggest a one-off meeting with them, where you lay out these questions, hear what they expect from you, and maybe give them some of your resources/suggestions for where you learned about that topic. It doesn't need to be any more than that, and you definitely should not commit to anything until you're a little clearer about what exactly they are asking. Because again, it goes without saying that they are the one who should be doing this work, rather than farming it out to you. You certainly can help in some way if you do feel comfortable with it, and the only way to get experience is to start working, so I don't want to discourage you out of hand. But I just want to make sure you are in control of this and know what questions to ask and they aren't expecting you to gather the bulk of their own data for them for free, or anything else like that. So yes.

#anonymous #ask #school stuff

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aroacemarie · 1 year

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peeked in the 'asocial' tag and it seems theres like. 10 million different definitions of it being used in various communities? so i feel like having used the term just now i wanna clarify what *I* mean by it

im gonna pop this under a read more bc its a long one.

im NOT using it as an ace/aro microlabel (not judging those who do tho). i dont consider it a part of my sexuality/orientation/lgbtq identity. its more of just a personality thing?

im also not schizoid, to my knowledge. im sure i have traits of it? or maybe my understanding of it is wrong? i just know i went through a brief stretch where my being asocial meant i was schizoid, but upon more thoroughly researching the symptoms of schizoid personality disorder i determined it did not apply to me.

its also unrelated to social anxiety. i DO have social anxiety disorder, but my being asocial isnt a fear-related trait. basically while social interaction/the anticipation of social interaction can trigger an anxious response in me, i dont have a strong Drive to be social in the first place.

its also why i consider my asocial trait as being different from being an introvert. its kinda like introversion on steroids. introverts still seem to have a need to interact, whereas loneliness is genuinely a foreign concept to me.

i also dont consider it a symptom of my depression... mostly. yes, withdrawing from social interaction is a bigtime depression, its more of a withdrawal in that context than an general inclination. when im withdrawn bc of a major-depressive episode, it is characterized by hurt and an overwhelming sense of dread/hopelessness. when its just my day to day default state, however, it has a peaceful, content quality.

so to describe it by what it IS instead of what it ISNT:

-i describe my being asocial as an extreme lack of a drive to be social. i dont really feel the need to seek out interaction, and while i still absolutely DO interact with the people i like, i tend to be abnormally unlikely to reach out.

-being alone makes me feel content, not lonely. it feels like sitting by the window on a cold day, wrapped in a warm blanket and sipping a warm drink, peacefully watching the leaves float by delicately on a gentle breeze, the with soothing voice of the wind whispering to you a comforting hush.

-i love my friends deeply. even when i dont interact with a friend for an extended period of time, i still think of them with a deep fondness. i picture their smiles, the way they make me laugh, the way their eyes sparkle with excitement when they talk about their interests. i feel a deep warmth in my heart, and reflect on how much i cherish them, even though i dont feel inclined to reach out and chat with them at that moment. i can still miss them too, even if im not necessarily doing anytying to fix it! (for the record, hazel if youre reading this i was thinking about you as i typed this section, ahaha 💚)

-i get exhausted and overstimulated by conversation easily, even when im speaking to someone i love about one of my favorite topics. its pretty common of me to tap out of conversations or "leave you on read" for hours simply because i exhausted myself. that being said, i DO love to have deep, meaningful conversations!

-i dont find talkative friends to be "annoying" or a burden. quite the contrary; im flattered they like me enough to invest their time and energy into speaking with me! i just have low stamina.

-its kind of like when youre doing your favorite hobby or playing your favorite game but youve been at it too long and youre too wiped to continue. thats how i feel about talking to the people i like, but my stamina might only last a minute or two before im metaphorically "out of breath"

-i dont hate people. in fact? i LOVE people. i look upon all the humans out there, living unique lives and unique experiences, and i feel a sense of childlike wonder. i think of how fascinating their perspective of the world is; their core beliefs and how they developed, the things that bring them joy that would seem strange to me, the things they know that i simply do not. but i dont really want to necessarily have a conversation with them. i prefer being an observer, reading the thoughts they share in public forums (like tumblr and twitter). humans are so fascinating. i just wanna watch you for hours like youre in a little terrarium!

-im told im great with people, and honestly i make friends very easily! not to say im never awkward or am immune to social fuckups! but im empathetic and am told have a high emotional intelligence and tend to make people feel at ease. im really tactful and great at defusing conflict (my favorite quote was in college when a friend told me "you could literally tell somebody to go fuck themselves without offending them." love it, ahaha). the thing is... i dont WANT to make friends. ive got everyone i need already, yknow? my Friendship Inventory is full.

im also gonna acknowledge that my asocial nature is very likely linked to trauma. i do have CPSTD from abuse that spanned the entirety of my childhood, from my earliest memories all the way into my mid-late teens. alone felt Safe, and it still does. but its not a Disorder; it does not cause me distress or impede my ability to "function." god knows ive got plenty of disorders/symptoms that DO. but being asocial is not one of them.

anyway, i hope this helps people understand me a bit better. im always worried that im a Bad Friend (being in a 6 year abusive friendship w someone who constantly called me that didnt help) for not reaching out to people/checking on my friends more. its just... a Thing. ive accepted that its not something i can change about myself, and i acknowledge that means im just not compatible with certain people, to no fault of their own. and thats fine! im not gonna be insulted or like you any less just because we arent the kind of people who could have a closer relationship in a healthy way. some folks just dont vibe w each other!

to any of my friends (and acquaintances! we dont need to be close!) reading this, i love you! i mean that, and i hope reading this helps you understand that i truly do, even if im bad at showing it.

stay frosty ✌

#monster talks #asocial

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