#paper soldier would be his favorite song

[a-dorin]

modern!au maul would looooveee brent faiyaz

#he would #maul #darth maul #modern!au #star wars #paper soldier would be his favorite song #that or poison

[mirage-aera]

•°. *࿐ Afterlife

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Fire On Fire - Sam Smith

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader

Synopsis: Simon thought that staying with you would be giving you a death sentence, he thought breaking up would protect you better than he ever could. He was so wrong in the end and regrets it deeply.

Word count: 6.966

Masterlist

Flashbacks are paragraphs in italics!

TW!! Mention of character death, suicide.

If this triggers you then please don’t read it!

Simon has never been easy, he has reminded you of that fact countless times. He doesn’t open up easily, he rarely shows affection, and rarely says ‘I love you’. But on the other hand, he’s insanely loyal. Willing to go to impossible ends to stick with you. He’s so incredibly protective, he’d go to any means necessary, especially in this line of work, to keep you safe from danger. Even if it means sacrificing his happiness, and letting you go. He’d never meant to just take your love for him for granted. No, that was never his intention. But when his identity gets leaked to the enemies, and they’re threatening him with you? Common sense flies out the window and he has one thing on his mind. Keeping you safe. Even though he knows you are fully capable of protecting yourself and others, he isn’t looking at this matter from a soldier’s point of view. No, he’s looking at it as your lover.

So when he goes home to pick some stuff up for you two at the barracks. For once, he’s actually in shock. His apartment, your shared apartment has been ransacked. No doubt by the people wanting to watch him burn. They have figured out where you live. Your safe sanctuary has become unsafe, and he hates it. This is his last straw. He’s doing this for your own good, he keeps telling himself that. He takes his time in the apartment. He grabs the stuff you’ve asked for and whatever he needs. But he also looks at every single object that reminds him of you. He glances around your shared bedroom. All of the little things remind him of the time you spent together. He looks at your guitar that is resting on the wall next to your dresser. You’ve always loved music, in all shapes and forms. You loved making your own music. Composing and singing songs for him. You loved listening to your playlists while working out. Playlists you made him listen to and he slowly grew to love. Now he can’t start his workout without having the music blasting in his ears.

His favorite song of yours though? Definitely the first one you wrote. You called it ‘Fire On Fire’, and you explained that it sums up your relationship perfectly. Both are insanely protective of each other, in the field you use it as an advantage. Always make sure to be paired up, you two get the job done efficiently without any casualties. When you two work it’s like a choreographed dance. You always know what the other is thinking. He remembers the times when he had nightmares, and let's face it, it happens frequently. You would softly sing this song to make him go back to sleep. And he would sleep without nightmares those nights.

You walk into his small office in your shared apartment happily and excitedly. “Simon!” He looks up at hearing you call his name. He casts a look at the papers waiting to be signed by him on his desk. He shoves the papers aside. Ready to give you his undivided attention. “What is it, lovie?” You grin at him, “I finished it! I finally finished it!” You say happily. He looks at you confusingly for a moment, “what did you finish?” You chuckle, “the song! Do you want to hear it? If you’re not too busy of course.” He casts another look at the papers before smiling up at you, “I’m never too busy for you, lovie. Let’s hear it.” You clap happily, “great let’s go!” You drag him by the hand to your bedroom. Where your guitar is resting on the bed. You grab it and sit down on the bed. You smile at him sheepishly, “I’ve figured out the lyrics for the whole song but I still need to figure out the melody I want to use. The chorus, however, is done. I’ll sing and play it for you.” He nods at you for you to continue. You play a few chords before starting.

“Fire on fire, would normally kill us.”

You start with a shaky breath. Slightly nervous of what he might think. As if he can read your mind. He smiles at you and motions for you to continue. He mouths, ‘you’re doing great.’ This sparks your confidence and you sing with a brighter tone.

“With this much desire, together we’re winners.”

You close your eyes as you let yourself get carried away by the song.

“They say that we’re out of control and some say we’re sinners.”

“But don’t let them ruin our beautiful rhythms.”

“Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me.”

“And look in my eyes.”

You open your eyes and glance at Simon, who’s staring at you with an awestruck look on his face. You smile at him.

“You are perfection, my only direction.”

“It’s fire on fire,” you hum, “fire on fire.”

You close off the song as you slowly stop playing. You put the guitar down, “so what do you think, my love?” Simon is still staring at you with an awestruck expression. “It’s perfect lovie. You outdid yourself.” You give him a shy smile, “I wrote it for you, to remind you of the love that I feel for you. That I’m always there for you, no matter what happens.” He stays silent before engulfing you in a tight hug. You widen your eyes but hug him back nevertheless. You could get used to this warm fuzzy feeling.

He sighs and leaves the bedroom. He enters the living room. He looks sadly at the overturned furniture and broken glass everywhere. Yet despite all of this, this is still your home. No matter how run down it gets, the memories will stay and be there forever. Serving as reminders from the once-happy couple. He looks at the pictures that are, surprisingly, still hanging on the walls. Pictures that have his face hidden, in every single one. You’ve respected his wishes by not putting up pictures with his face revealed. He looks at one particular picture.

Today the 141 was granted some time off. Bonding time for the team, as Price calls it. You’re all dressed casually. No one would guess that you’d be highly trained individuals looking like this. Well except for Simon, for he’s still donning his iconic skull balaclava. You’ve come up with the idea to have an outdoor picnic so that you all can relax and share food. Everyone prepared a little something for the picnic. John brought some sandwiches, Kyle brought lemonade, Johnny brought cupcakes, you and Simon prepared various fruits covered in chocolate. Your spot is surrounded by all different kinds of flowers. The big wide smile that you’re wearing on your face has made Simon’s entire year. After you’ve eaten. You decide that running around the flower fields will be a great idea. You beg Simon to run around with you, saying that it’ll be fun. Knowing Simon has a hard time saying no to you, you give him a small pout and he instantly agrees. Albeit a little begrudgingly. You drag him through the fields as you let out loud boisterous laughs while Simon is smiling behind his balaclava. You can tell by the way his eyes crinkle and sparkle in delight. Johnny takes a picture of you two sneakily. Knowing Simon would beat his ass if he found out. But in the end, it’s worth it, this will be one of your most cherished memories.

He smiles fondly at the memory that comes through when he stares at the picture. His smile slowly fades from his face. Maybe he doesn’t need to break up with you, you’re fully capable and he can protect you if anything were to happen. But what if something does happen? He could’ve prevented it all if he just didn’t let his resolve break. No, he has to do it for your sake. He’d rather have you hate him and be alive than you still loving him and dying because of him. He heads to the front door and takes one last look around. You’ll have to be relocated, and preferably far away from him for your safety. Your apartment isn’t safe anymore. He nods and closes the door behind him. He’s not ready to close this chapter but he has to. It’s the right thing to do. He heads back to you, reciting in his head what he’ll say to you in the meantime. Yet every time he chokes up and can’t think of what to say. He’ll have to wing it and hope he doesn’t look as pathetic as he sounds.

Once he makes it back to base, he’s on a hunt for you. He can feel his gut twisting in ways that make him nauseous. He wants to back out, so fucking bad. But then he sees your dead figure and then reminds himself you’d be happier and safer without him. Without the constant figure of death looming behind him. Following him everywhere he goes. He eventually finds you in the commons room with the rest of the team. You didn’t notice him walking in until he stopped in front of you. “Simon! You’re back, did you get the stuff?” He shakes his head, “can we talk, privately.” You give him a worried look but nod and follow him to wherever he’s leading you. He eventually makes it to his office and holds the door open for you. You step inside as he walks up behind you. You turn to him with a confused look on your face. “Did something happen?” You ask him. He nods his head, “our place got ransacked. Probably the same people who found my real identity.” You widen your eyes before narrowing them, “okay. We’ll deal with them swiftly then. The faster the better, right?”

Simon takes a deep breath in, it’s now or never. He opts for now. “I don’t think they’re stopping there. And let’s be honest, our progress is slow.” You raise a brow, “we can push the mission, maybe the higher-ups will let us focus on them.” He shakes his head, “that’s not happening. Listen, I think it’s better we go our separate ways.” The distraught look on your face makes his heart shatter. “Wait what? Why? We can go through this together! You can’t just throw away what we have now!” He shakes his head, “they’ve already breached my privacy. How long will it take for them to find out about us? Do you know how dangerous that is for you? It’s for your own good.” He refuses to tell you they’ve already threatened him by using your name. You can feel anger flaring up. “So what?! I’m fully capable of defending myself! You of all people should know this, Simon!” He can feel his temper rising, “I know! I am fully aware! Don’t even think that I doubt you because I don’t.” He says the last part softly. Not wanting to argue with you, not like this. You cry out desperately, “then tell me Simon! What are you so afraid of?!” He looks you in the eye, “you!” You get stunned by his answer, before you can retort he continues, “I’m afraid of losing you.” He says with a small voice. You stare at him with an incredulous look, “yet you want to break up?! You know how ridiculous you are sounding right now?!” He stays silent. You scoff, tears welling up in your eyes. “So this is it then? Just like that?” He nods, “I’m sorry, but you’re going to get hurt if you stay with me.” Hearing that he’s determined in his decision you nod, accepting it. “I’ll see you on the next mission, lieutenant.” You turn around, ready to leave his office. He reaches out for your arm, grabbing it softly, “please, it doesn’t have to be like this.” You whip your head around, tears falling, “then how do you want it to be? You want to stay friends? Fine! I’ll see you around the base then.” You ramble out, not letting him speak before storming out. A few tears fell from his own eyes. He rubs his eyes aggressively, rubbing his black face paint everywhere. ‘Good job, Simon. You’ve ruined the only good thing you had in your life.’ He thinks to himself. ‘It’s for her own protection’ is ringing through his mind like a mantra, torturing him with the thought of you.

The next few months are hell for the both of you. You’ve been drowning yourself in work and composing more music, while Simon has been drinking his mind away. Wanting to forget the immense hurt look you had on your face when he said those regretful words. The rest of the team isn’t blind. They can see something happening between the two of you. They’ve tried talking to you both about it but only to get the same words back, “he broke up with me.”, “I did it for her protection.” Johnny having enough of both of your sulking moods, decided to try and fix whatever’s been broken between you both. He knocks on Simon’s door before turning the knob and letting himself in. “I think the point is to wait for an answer before you let yourself in.” Simon slurs out his words as he holds a glass of whiskey. Johnny frowns and takes the glass from him, “you’re out of your mind L.T.” Simon scoffs, “tell me something I don’t know.” Johnny raises an eyebrow, “you need to get your shit together. You’ve been miserable without each other. Everyone can see it, fucking hell even the birds can see it, except for you guys.” Simon chuckles dryly, “thanks for the pep talk Johnny, you can leave now.”

He frowns at Simon’s response. “Leaving her in the name of protection is so fucked up on so many levels, Ghost. If anything she’ll be in more danger without you by her side than without you. So I’m not requesting you. I’m demanding you to get your shit together, apologize to her, and get back together already.” Simon stays silent, thinking about it. Knowing he finally got through to the lieutenant he leaves to let him figure it out on his own. All he needed was a little step in the right direction.

Meanwhile, you’ve been summoned by Price. You walk into his office, which happens to be next to Simon’s. “You’ve asked for me Price?” He nods and motions for you to sit. “We have intel on a secret base to the north of here,” he says while pointing to a location on a map. “We need someone to quickly get in and out and retrieve more intel.” You nod along, “I’m guessing you want me to go in?” He nods, “that’s correct. I’m warning you, this will be a solo mission. The lesser the better, unless you want Ghost to come along.” You narrow your eyes at him, “I’ll go solo.” You state. He nods, “you leave tomorrow at 8 in the morning with Kyle, he’ll be your exfil.” You nod and leave, wanting to prepare for the mission.

Morning comes and you gear up together with Kyle. You head to the small heli that’ll bring you to the site. You can’t help but have a sinking feeling in your gut, you can’t tell whether it’s the pre-mission nerves or if it’s the heartache you’ve been experiencing for the past months. You load up into the heli and close your eyes as you listen to the rotors whirring. Trying to shut down so you could shake off the feeling but to no avail. Usually, Simon would help you. But this will be the first time in a while that you’d have to do without.

You sit in the chinook nervously. Nervous for the upcoming mission. At this rate, you’ll make yourself sick. Johnny is sitting to your left, giving you a worried look. You wave him off saying, “I’ll be fine in a minute.” You can tell he doesn’t believe you but he doesn’t push it. You close your eyes as you try to calm down. You can hear a heavy thud coming from your right. You ignore it as you’re more concerned with your nerves. Suddenly a hand engulfs your own and squeezes it. You crack open an eye and smile once you’ve realized who it was. It’s Simon, who’s staring at you with warm eyes through his mask. He doesn’t need to say anything, he can convey it all with his eyes. Instantaneously you can feel the nerves leaving. All you need is Simon and you’ll be alright.

You open your eyes. The sinking feeling has not left at all, if anything it only increased. Making you feel slightly nauseous. You notice Gaz looking at you concerned. He crouches in front of you and takes a hand of yours in his own, squeezing it like Simon did. You give him a small smile, appreciating his attempts. But in the end, it just isn’t the same. The helicopter lifts off and soars through the air. As the base gets smaller and smaller in the distance, you can’t help but feel that it might be the last time you’ll see the base. You feel your phone vibrating in your front pocket. You open up the pocket and fish out your phone. You frown once you see the lit-up screen. It’s Simon, of course it is. You choose to ignore it for now. Whatever he needs to say can wait until you return. Right now, you need to focus and get yourself and that intel home. Eventually, the heli slows down as it prepares to descend. The doors open as you leave the safe space. You check your comms once more before nodding to Gaz. “I’ll be waiting for you here, don’t do anything stupid.” He tells you. You chuckle at him, “as long as you don’t get into trouble I won’t either.” He rolls his eyes. You give him one last look before leaving.

As you make your way to the hidden base stealthily you can’t help but feel like something is not right. ‘Come on. You’ve been on countless missions like this with the team. It’s been fine then, it will be fine now.’ You think to yourself. You close off your mind as you trek through the dense vegetation. Eventually, the base emerges from the treetops. You lay down as you pull out your binoculars from your side. You spot a less guarded spot, that’s where you’re going to sneak in. You get up and make your way down from the overlook. While keeping watch of the guards around the spot you want to infiltrate. You notice they don’t have a set patrol, which might work in your favor later when you start taking down guards.

You approach the spot and hug the wall. You grab your grappler from your pack and launch it onto the railing of the wall. As you ascend the wall you take another look around, if you’re not careful they could see you and raise the alarm. You quickly ascend to the top and take out the guard hanging around that area. You shoot the next two with your silenced gun. You don’t bother hiding the bodies, it should be a quick in and out. You lean over the wall as you look around for the next entry point. From what you remember of the map that Price supplied you with, the office with the documents should be near your position. You quickly scan the main building looking for the office. Your eyes land upon a room. Bingo, that should be the office. You figure you could quickly make your way to a side entrance and make your way to the office from there. Any other entry point would be too risky, resulting in you getting caught.

You make your way down with a rope and head for the fire escape staircase. No guards are stationed there so it should be a quiet way in. You ascend the stairs and quietly open the door that leads to the building. You keep your gun up in case. Noticing no visible threat you let out a sigh of relief and start heading towards the office. Luckily you didn’t come across any guards on your way to the office. You entered the office quickly and closed it quietly behind you. You lower your gun and look around. ‘Right, any important papers and any other valuable intel is what I came for.’ You remind yourself. You head to the computer and start downloading files from it to a stick. Laswell can analyze that data later. You start making quick work of the drawers. Pulling out any important-looking documents and storing them in your pack. Once you’ve run out of stuff to take, you unplug the stick and store it as well. You take one last look around the office. You hold a finger to your comm, “Gaz. I got the intel. Heading to exfil now, eta 20 minutes.” You hear a ‘copy that.’ from Gaz as you swing the door open.

Only to be greeted with a pistol aimed at your head. You recognize him as one of the leaders of the organization. “I’ve been expecting you, sergeant.” You notice he’s alone, essentially you could make a move and make your escape. But he would likely try and shoot, thus alerting the whole base. It’s either that or get captured by them, which would lead to your demise. Preferring your chances with the first option. You raise an eyebrow at him, “well you aren’t expecting this.” You quip as you shove his arm upwards, making him shoot in surprise. Not even 5 seconds pass and you can already hear footsteps thundering in your direction. You shove him and make a run for it, knowing if you try and go for the kill, his henchmen will surely kill you. You leap through the door and close it shut behind you. You take a quick look at the positions of the guards. They’re all swarmed around you. There’s no way for you to get past them without getting injured. And you definitely don’t have the stopping power to brute force your way through.

You quickly radio Gaz to update him, “I’ve been made!” A bullet whizzes by your head. Gaz surely heard it too. Well shit, your position is now known. Shortly after more bullets are flying your way. You duck down, you try to come up with solutions. You can’t think of any right now. You’re just going to have to make a run for it and hope for the best. You shakily bring a finger up to your comms, “I need to make a run for it, there’s no other way!” You inform Gaz. You hear rustling on his end, “negative! Stay there and preferably out of sight. I’m coming to get you out of there!” He shouts out. You widen your eyes in shock. That’s a horrible plan. You voice out your opinion, “are you insane?! What is one person going to help?! There are hundreds of them versus us two!” You can hear him cuss. “Fuck! Okay, you listen to me right now! Take as much cover as you can, I’ll try and provide covering fire. I’m not far from the overlook, give me 1 minute.” You peak over the cover, and grimace. You might not have a minute. Some are getting ready to storm your position. You think, the main entrance is going to be full of them. They haven’t found out where you came from so they’ll expect you to exit via the main entrance. The way you came in is going to be your only option.

“Okay, I’m in position, whenever you’re ready.” You hear his voice crackle through the comms. You inhale and exhale. ‘Now or never.’ You think to yourself. You point your gun at the small squad at the base of the stairs. You open fire at them, mowing them down successfully. You quickly run down the stairs and make your way to the wall. You feel a hot pain in your shoulder. You’ve been hit. You don’t even need to look, you were going to get hurt one way or another. Not feeling much from it you continue running to the wall, using trucks and containers as cover. Not staying too long behind cover otherwise you’ll get overrun. Sometimes you can hear thuds around you, signaling that Gaz is doing a good job at providing covering fire. You make it to the wall in record time and start climbing the rope. It’ll be a miracle if you don’t get more injuries while scaling the wall. You brace yourself for whatever might come your way. You make sure the rope is still secure by tugging on it a few times. Satisfied with the sturdiness, you start climbing up. You can hear multiple rounds go into the wall next to you. Sooner than later bullets start embedding themselves all over you. Your legs, torso, and shoulders. You wince in pain as everything starts to burn with every move you make. You grit your teeth until you make it to the top.

You rest for a minute as you assess your injuries. You count at least five bullet wounds. You’re not making it out alive, that’s for sure. You grimace as you face the harsh truth. “You got to move! They’re closing in on you!” You can faintly hear Gaz’s voice ringing through your ear. You move through the pain, you have to at least try to make it back. You grit your teeth as you pull yourself up. You grab hold of the grappler again and start descending. You run as fast as you can away from the base. Shit, it burns. It burns badly. You just wish you didn’t have to sit through this pain for long. You make a safe distance away from the base. You rest against a tree. You definitely can’t make your way to the exfil point, at least not on your own. You slowly sink yourself to the floor. Your vision starts to blur, and gunshots get quieter and quieter. Either they stopped firing or you’re losing your hearing. You bet it’s the latter.

You start coughing. You’re coughing up blood. Internal bleeding. Great. As the pain starts fading into the background, your mind runs rampant. You lean your head back as you stare up at the sky. You chuckle weakly, “I’m sorry Simon.” You say to no one in particular. You just somehow wish that he could feel that you’re sorry. You know it hasn’t been easy for him either. And part of it is your fault. You’ve been pushing him away. Drowning in your own grief, that you failed to consider his feelings. Tears slowly start trickling down your face and into the muddy ground below you. “I’m so sorry Simon, I still love you, so so much.” You whisper out. Not having any strength anymore. You slowly close your eyes, losing the battle between you and the blood loss. Little did you know that your comms were still open and Gaz heard everything. If you can’t say it to him yourself then he will make sure he passes your message to Simon. In your stead. But first, he has to find you. He runs around, desperately trying to find you. Eventually, he spots a faint trail of blood. Knowing it has to be you, he follows it. Once he finds you he shouts your name. You being unresponsive worries him. He holds two fingers to your neck. Trying to find a pulse. To his relief, he finds one. It’s faint, but it’s there. He picks you up and carries you to the heli and demands for medics to be standing by at base, ready to receive you.

***

Simon heads to your room and knocks on your door, “(Y/n)? Can we talk?” It feels so weird to call you by your name. He used to always call you ‘lovie’. He frowns as he hears no answer. He’s about to knock on your door again until Johnny speaks up, “she’s gone.” Simon whips his head around to face him. “What do you mean she’s gone?” He asks. “She went on a mission that Price assigned her to.” Simon stares at him, “when is she supposed to be back?” Johnny checks his watch and frowns, “she was supposed to be back 15 minutes ago.” Simon frowns, a late arrival usually means bad news. He storms his way to Price’s office. “Why did you send her alone? Why didn’t you send me with her?!” He asks coldly. He sighs, “she can get in and out quickly, that’s why I asked her. And I did ask her, she said no. She said she’ll go solo. Gaz is with her to provide exfil.” Simon gives him a hard stare and leaves the office. He has no choice but to wait for you, and hope for the best.

Multiple minutes pass as he waits anxiously for you. Eventually, a commotion stirs him out of his zoned-out state. Several members of the medical staff run by in a frenzy. They’re shouting medical stuff at each other that he doesn’t understand. All he hears are, “critically injured inbound!”, “bring blood bags!”, and “prep for surgery!”. Suddenly everything goes in slow motion. ‘Critical, surgery, blood bags’ those are the words that are swirling through his chaotic mind. He closes his eyes and curses to himself. You can’t die. Not you. Anyone but you. He regrets many things in his life. But this will probably be at the top of his list if you don’t make it. Fuck. Why is he just standing here? Why can’t he do something useful for you, not even for one second? He has let you down continuously, and he hates it. He hears more commotion. It’s you being wheeled past him in a gurney with the same medical staff by your side, with a blood bag hanging over you, and more of them in the arms of a medic. He watches as you get wheeled into the infirmary. The state of you almost makes him gag. How the hell did you even get out of there alive? After being so long in the military, he knows someone with those injuries will not make it back, or stay alive for much longer. It’s a miracle you’re still breathing, no matter how weak it is, you’re still breathing.

He heads to the infirmary to wait for you. He wasn’t there for you during the mission, the least he could do is sit and wait for you. That if you’re alive after surgery, he could give you a heartfelt apology. Something that he rarely does. He sits in a chair and holds his head in his hands. A few minutes pass and he notices Gaz sitting next to him. He sighs, “what happened?” Knowing Gaz is the only one who can provide him with the answers. Gaz winces, “Ghost, I don’t think you want to know.” He feels growing frustrated with Gaz’s answers, “I fucking asked, didn’t I? Tell me, I want names.” Gaz sighs but resigns to his wishes, “it’s the same organization. She needed to get into an office to gather more intel. Turns out this whole thing was a trap. They were waiting for her outside the office door. One thing led to another and the whole base was sent upon her. I tried to give as much covering fire as I could. But she still got shot, multiple times. I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, “not your fault, I should’ve been there,” he mumbles out. Gaz scoffs, “I don’t think it would’ve made a difference. There were way too many of them.” Simon gives him an empty look, “I would’ve gotten her out of that situation, at all costs.” Gaz shakes his head, “mate. I know how capable you are together but there’s no way you would’ve gotten out of there together in one piece.” He shrugs, “I never said I would get out of there, did I?” Gaz catches on to what he means, “are you saying you would lay down your life for her?” He nods, “she deserves to live more than I do.” Gaz can sense he doesn’t want to talk anymore so he drops it. Gaz eventually leaves, needing to debrief with the captain. Thus leaving Simon all alone.

Torturous hours pass by. He feels like her chances of surviving are dropping by the hour. Eventually, a trauma surgeon pops out of the double doors. He looks around before meeting Simon’s gaze. “Are you here for sergeant (Y/l/n)?” He nods, confirming his intentions. The surgeon drops his mask, showing Simon his grim face. “She’s alive, but she’s far from stable. We put her in an induced coma, to help her body recover from the injuries she sustained. It could last a couple of days up to weeks or several months. You may visit her if you wish. Try talking to her, it might stimulate her brain and thus make her wake faster.” Simon gives him a nod, “thank you.” The surgeon gives him a pitiful smile before leaving.

Simon enters the small room you’ve been put in. He frowns once he sees you lying on the bed. His breath gets caught up in his throat. He’s never seen you look so frail, fragile, weak, almost dead like. The only signs showing you’re still kicking are the monitor beeping and your chest moving up and down ever so slightly. He pulls up a chair next to your bed. He takes your hand in his. He has a million words to tell you. He wants to tell you how much he loves you, and how he took your love for granted. He wants to tell you how sorry he is, that he’s wrong for thinking breaking up would protect you. When in fact it’s the opposite. Every time he tries to convey these words to you, he can’t. The words get choked up, causing his sentence to become incoherent. So instead he opts for a simpler option, one that hopefully conveys all of his regrets in five words.

“I’m so sorry, for everything.”

The monitor beeps faster in response. He widens his eyes, you can hear him. He squeezes your hand. “I never should’ve let you go, lovie. It was a mistake on my part. When you wake up, I’ll take you to all of your favorite places. If you’ll have me back.”

During the next few days, it seems like you’re only regressing. Your body can’t keep up with all of the demands it needs to properly heal. Simon has been there, every hour, every day. The team has tried to drag him out to at least take a shower, but he refuses. Multiple what-ifs run through his mind. What if you wake up? And he isn’t there for you. Or what if you die? And he’s not there with you. It would break him. He’s not a fool, he knows your days are limited. He knows your chances of pulling through are close to none. So he stays there, talking to you and holding your hand. Squeezing it in intervals, to let you know he’s still there. He suddenly gets an idea in his head. What if he sings your song to you, would you appreciate that? Probably, he knows how much you love that song. So he sings.

“My mother said I’m too romantic. She said, “you’re dancing in the movies.””

“I almost started to believe her. Then I saw you and I knew.”

He starts tearing up, he might never hear you sing this song again. He might never hear your voice again. Your laughter, your giggles, your excitement. All of it. He might never hear them again.

“Maybe it’s ’cause I got a little bit older. Maybe it’s all that I’ve been through.”

“I’d like to think it’s how you lean on my shoulder. And how I see myself with you.”

He thinks of the domestic life you have behind the scenes. Away from the military. Where you would have movie marathons, forcing him to watch with you. He would pretend to hate it, but secretly. He adores the time spent with you. He thinks of all the times you would lean on him, no matter where you are. You would fall asleep on him, it’s the sense of safety that he gives you that puts you at ease. He starts choking up.

“I don’t say a word.”

“But still, you take my breath and steal the things I know.”

“There you go, saving me from out of the cold.”

He can’t continue anymore. His tears are not stopping, they continue to fall and get soaked up by his balaclava. He hasn’t cried in years, and yet here he is. Crying like a baby. He doesn’t want to let you go, but he knows it’s the right thing. If you’re not in pain then you will be when you wake up, if you wake up. He presses a kiss to your forehead as he cries. He pulls away and tries to compose himself, “it’s okay to let go if you’re hurting, lovie. I won’t be mad, I promise.” He notices that the beeping is slowing down. He gives a weak smile, even though you can’t see him. “I’ll love you forever and always, my love. Rest well, I’ll see you on the other side sometime. Hopefully, I get to properly apologize and take you around to all of the places you want to go.” He sobs as your heartbeat continues to slow until it ceases to beat. “I’ll be okay, lovie.” He whispers.

He was not okay. He was far from being okay. He thought that he’d be okay after your funeral, that he’d get the closure he was craving. It’s been weeks, and the pain is still there if not stronger. He can’t stand it. Sometimes his mind is playing tricks on him. Sometimes he can feel a cold air embracing him, as if you’re hugging him. Sometimes he can hear you say, ‘I love you.’ Or ‘I forgive you.’ He’s losing his mind, that is clear to anyone. His aim has been shakier, not as fast on his feet anymore. Fuck, he’s losing his touch.

Everyone is concerned, he sees the worried glances they throw in his direction. The way they avoid the topic of your death at all costs. He hates it, he hates how weak he’s become. He hates how they’re pitying him. One day he gets an idea. There’s a way for him to come see you sooner. Not a pretty one, but it’ll do. He dwells on it for the next few days. Not wanting to do anything rash. He has no family left that he gives a shit about. He only has the military going for him. But going at this rate, he’ll most likely get discharged because of his mental health. How he’s falling apart at the seams. Funny how he’s been alone for most of his life. Yet the instant something good enters his life it gets taken from him. He can’t function properly anymore after you died. Like taking candy from a baby.

Later in the evening. He skipped dinner, not bothering anymore. It’ll only be a waste on him. He writes a short note addressed to the 141. He explains that it’s not their fault. That he’ll be happier than if he stays here, without you. He places the note neatly on the corner of his desk. Knowing someone will come running once they hear the bang. He grabs the handheld gun he stores in his bedside drawer. He stares at the gun. Weapons have never felt heavy on his hand. Let alone handheld guns. Yet now it’s like the heaviest thing he’s ever lifted. He brings it up to his temple. He gets the easy way out, you had to suffer with at least five bullets in you. He closes his eyes and thinks of you. He smiles at the image he has painted in his head. A genuine smile, one that hasn’t appeared on his face in a long time. Again, he feels cold air engulfing him once again. He laughs, that has to be you comforting him. As you always do. He rests his finger on the trigger.

“I’ll see you in a minute, my love.”

He pulls on the trigger. In one second three things happen. A loud bang. Blood splattering. A thud.

One second he’s seeing black. Before he knows it, the next second he sees white. A figure slowly approaches him. He squints his eyes, trying to make out who that figure is. A smile creeps up his face once he realizes who it is. His lovie. You smile at him as you walk closer to him, “hi Simon.” Tears start welling up in his eyes. He says nothing as he pulls you into his strong embrace. You sigh but return the embrace, “it’s okay now, Simon. We have all of the time in the world.” He nods as tears start falling on your white clothes. You pull away as you chuckle. You wipe his tears away, “come. I’ll show you around. You’ll love it here, I promise. It’s so peaceful here.” You hold your hand out to him. He lets out a little laugh but nods and takes your hand in his, “okay. Show me, lovie.”

#cod #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod x reader #ghost #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley #call of duty

[sanguineterrain]

honey!! number 11 on the prompt list is so steve coded, don’t ya think??

it so totally is 🥰 11. back hugs

steve h x gn!reader. good ol' pining besties <3

****

"Robin," you say. "You're overthinking it."

"Signals, Y/N. People have signals. A hand on your wrist, a secret smile. Signals! Now: was Vickie sending me signals? We have to explore all possibilities. But mostly, the answer is probably no. She just wants to hang."

"She asked you to brunch. People our age do not go to brunch."

"Brunch is classy!"

"Brunch is a breakfast date," you scoff. "Brunch is I want to get a cat with you."

"Well, I think—" Robin groans, glancing over your shoulder. "Oh, God. Heads up. Loverboy, twelve o'clock."

Before you can turn, you're being swept into a warm hug from behind. Steve's cheek presses to yours, his chin tucked in your neck. The tip of his nose is cold from outside as it brushes your jaw. Your heart haywires.

"Steve!" you squeal, his arms around your waist. "What're you doing?"

"You're gonna love me," he says into your ear.

Already do.

"Am I now?"

He walks around to face you.

"Yup," he says, popping the 'p'. "Look at these."

Steve holds up two slips of paper. Tickets to Bruce Springsteen at Soldier Field.

"Holy shit!" you cry, and throw your arms around him. He catches you with a laugh.

"These must've cost a fortune! How did you get them? I thought they were all sold out."

Steve shrugs. "I know people. So, interested?"

He knows it's all you've been talking about (and lamenting over when the tickets sold out in three minutes). Bruce Springsteen is one of your favorites.

"You didn't—Steve," you say in awe. "You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to. Consider it an early birthday present."

"Then I want you to come with me."

"Wh—me?"

You scoff. "Who else would I bring?"

"Someone who actually knows Springsteen songs?"

"You know enough of his hits. I mean, if you really don't want to go..."

"No!" He shakes his head. "No, Y/N, obviously I'll go. I just didn't want you to be embarrassed when I'm the only person there who doesn't know Glory Days."

"Well, that's why we're gonna listen to Born in the USA everyday until the concert," you grin. "Get you prepped."

Steve groans. "Can't believe you're giving me homework."

You turn to put the tickets in your bag. Steve crowds you as you do, chin on your shoulder. He's always affectionate with you, loose with his touches and pets.

Robin looks at you, brows to her hairline.

"It's fun homework," you say, ignoring Robin with all your might. "We can listen to the tapes in your car 'cause you've got the fancy sound system."

"That why you're friends with me?" Steve asks, arms curling around your belly. "Just for perks?"

You grin. "No comment. But the concert tickets have definitely moved you up to best friend status."

"Where was I before?"

You pat his cheek. Steve pretends to grumble for another moment before slipping away. Instantly, you miss the warmth of his embrace.

"If you're done clinging to Y/N," Robin starts. "The new releases need to be shelved."

Steve throws her an eye roll but goes, giving you one last smile. You return it sheepishly. Robin watches you like a hawk.

You finally relent when Steve's far enough away.

"What is it now, Robs?"

"Signals," is all she says.

"Concert tickets is not a signal, Robin."

"Oh, it's something. Steve's music taste is whatever's on the radio."

"Not true! He listens to Queen and Fleetwood Mac and AC/DC and—"

"Because of you." Robin huffs. "It's you, Y/N, it's all for you. And you're both so deeply in denial you think it's just friendship things."

"He's just..." You watch Steve stack the videos on the shelf.

The enamel pin you got him a few months ago is on his FV vest. It's a bumblebee that says bee mine! You'd thought it was cute and fun and that Steve would like it. He wears it everyday, even if it doesn't match his outfit at all.

You look at Robin, your heart in your throat.

"Signals?" you ask quietly.

She nods.

"Now you're getting it."

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x gender neutral reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #inbox #blurb

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

~*~

1. hi! i"m looking for a fic where wwx wrote letters for all the important people in his life, barricaded himself in the cave to destroy the yin tiger seal. wq & wn arrived early and kept shouting at wwx to stop outside the barrier but he still continued and killed himself. a-yuan was escorted by song lan at jinlintai where a-yuan recognizes lwj and run to him. & then a-yuan saw the robes of jins he starts shouting & crying. then jzx and madam jin took of their robes. jgs & jgy crimes were exposed

FOUND? The deleted fic When I’m Gone by qiankun_pouch

seramarias said: I have a link for #1 via Google Drive if anyone needs it.

~*~

2. Fic finder request, please!

A scene where NMJ picks up young LWJ and tosses him into the air like he would NHS as a fun thing that kids like. LXC is horrified and says that that’s a bad punishment or something, but later on LWJ asks to be tossed again—gently and is happy about it.

I just remember it being a cute short fic and now I can’t find it! 😭

FOUND! Of Few Words by nirejseki (G, 5k, LWJ & NMJ, LXC & NMJ, NHS & NMJ, Childhood Friends, First Meetings, grief and recovery, Making Friends, Pre-Canon)

~*~

3. Hello, please I'm desperately searching for a fic where wwx finds out his favorite porn content creator is his co-worker lwj during a business trip? At some point he spent so much money tipping lwj that lwj offered a special set for him. I appreciate your work SO MUCH y'all are pillars of this fandom

FOUND! Damask / 锦上添花 by auberjing (E, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, Lingerie, Sex Worker LWJ, Nude Modeling, Nude Photos, Porn with Feelings, Getting Together, Masturbation, Rimming, Overstimulation, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Premature Ejaculation, LWJ in lingerie, WWX in lingerie, Mutual Pining, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Intercrural Sex)

~*~

4. hi, I want to search the fanfic about the junior and maybe wwx and lwj travel back to qionqi path and stop by at banquet at jinlintai right after past wwx ask jin zixun about wen remnant. Also if I not mistaken, lwj cut tie with lqr. I read this at wattpad and not sure if the writer post this stories at other platform.

~*~

5. was trying to find an omegaverse fic, where wwx was captured by wen chao, and traumatized to the point that whenever he went into heat, he'd go berserk and start hunting down alphas/wen soldiers to slaughter. lwj had been captured prior to him and was already halfway to feral, but the two of them ended up bonding without marking each other because lwj had been muzzled. anyone have a clue if this has been deleted or not? @ashewindrider

FOUND? The Faithful Demon of Yiling by TriviasFolly (M, 93k, wangxian, rape/non-con, JC POV, WWX is a Murder Baby, ABO, heat, The satisfaction of knowing how JGS's dick gets shot off, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, no cultivation au, Vaugely Historical AU, royal au, War AU, Slow Burn, WWX is a Baddass, Attempted Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Character thinks another is dead for 75 precent of the story, Murder)

~*~

6. Hello! I'm trying to find a fic, likely on ao3, where JYL was a reincarnation from Dongying/Japan, like a crossover between a period drama anime? I think she was still Yanli, but her previous spirit wanted so badly to have a family that the desire followed her to her next life, so she had paper white skin & maybe red eyes as a sign of haunting. I remember it was a well known anime but not one I knew, so I haven't been able to find it. She might've unlocked memories & found her reincarnated hubby

~*~

7. Ficfinder request please! There's a "magic artifact fleshlight" that connects to an orifice of whoever's bloody gets on it. WWX overhears some Jin disciples plans to violate a woman using the artifact, and steals it and binds it to himself to protect her. LWJ catches him, and in order to protect her honour he lies, and says it's a simple toy, and that using it with one's friends is fun and totally something that LWJ should do. LWJ confiscates it and uses it, not knowing that it's connected to WWX. Shenanigans ensue

FOUND? The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k, WangXian, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Aged-Up Character(s), WWX POV, WWX is a gremlin, Internally Screaming LWJ, No Sunshot Campaign, First Times, Accidental Sex, Masturbation, PWP, Porn with Feelings, WWX experimenting with things he shouldn’t like always, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot)

~*~

8. Good day! Thank you all for your help/time/effort. Im here for fic finder. Im looking for the the fic where jgy had talisman that he sew to the other cultivators' clothes/robes—lwj, lxc, jwy, etc. Like he gave it as a gift, if im not mistaken. That talisman made them hate wwx so they said some hurtful words towards him. In result to that, wwx left and traveled alone. Then, I cant remember if its nhs who figure it out, but someone knew about the talisman then after that, they changed their wardrobes and started to look for wwx. If i remember it correctly, I found that fic via angst tag but since there's a lot of fic with that tag, I cant find it anymore. Thank you in advance! @httpskaixx

~*~

9. Hello! I have been looking for a specifix wangxian tattoo artist fic on AO3 that I can't seem to find.

The details: Wei Ying is a tattoo artist who owns his own shop. Toddler Lan Yuan slips away from a babysitter and ends up at the tattoo shop which is how wangxian meet. Lan Zhan brings Yuan and Jingyi (Xichen's son if i remember right) to the shop repeatedly to see Wei Ying.

I swear the fic title is the name of the tattoo shop but my mind is blank. @abomimablesnwm

FOUND! 🧡 Yiling Salon: Hair, Nails and Piercing by TriviasFolly (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, hairstylist AU, WWX owns a salon, Hairstylist WWX, 5+1 Things, Fluff, Experimental Style) Are you sure it was a tattoo parlor? Because all I can think of is this fic. if it's not this one, I'd think you'd like it, it's similar - Mod C

~*~

10. do you know of an nsfw fic where lan zhan is trans and wei wuxian asks to see “down there” and they end up having sex and it ends with lan zhan saying theyre engaged ? If you don’t take nsfw asks feel free to ignore!

FOUND? gratified in each other by Anonymous (E, 4k, wangxian, modern, Trans Male Character, Trans WWX, Brief Pining While Fucking, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, wangxian speedrun friends to fiances within the span of an afternoon like completely normal people, the inherent eroticism of agreeing to knock up the man you've been pining for for years, Porn with Feelings, there is in fact a plot here, Creampie, Daddy Kink, Penis In Vagina Sex, Cunnilingus, Squirting, Marriage Proposal, Smut, Fluff and Smut) Could it be Gratified in Each Other? It is WY who is trans. LZ tells WY, "if you can feel me, shouldn't i be able to feel you?" WY tells LZ, "Boyfriend is nice but… but maybe husband would be even better."

FOUND? A Different Kind of Courtship by pomelos (E, 2k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Teenage Wangxian, Boypussy, Just the Tip, Undernegotiated Kink, mentions of Arranged Marriage, Virginity Kink, Loss of Virginity, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, PWP, Mildly Dubious Consent)

~*~

11. For a future fic finder. I'm looking for a fic that was set in the Cloud Recesses study arc, it was a cracky sort of AU where Lan Qiren was being a matchmaker and pairing up all the kids. Sitting the ones he thought would go well together next to each other in class and things like that. I believe Nie Mingjue was also courting Lan Xichen by giving him sweets and Lan Qiren was hoping he'd hurry up and accept before he got chubby? Something along those lines. I swear I had it bookmarked but can't find it so I'm hoping it hasn't been deleted. Nie Huaisang also was involved a little bit but Lan Qiren didn't realize until the end. TIA!

FOUND! sentimental education by everythingispoetry (G, 5k, Everyone Lives au, Humor, Fluff, Matchmaking, LQR is a closet romantic, using teenagers as one's personal chess pieces, Crack)

~*~

12. I have been looking for this fic forever and can't find it 😭. It was focused on lan yuan and wei wuxian, where lsz remembered wwx telling him about the narrow path when lan wangji left the burial mounds the first time. Lsz then worries that wwx is disappointed that he grew up lan like wwx warned against. I can't remember if lsz remembered everything about wwx or just that one memory. Plz help lol, it's stuck in my head but I can't find it 😭

FOUND? Would You Come Home? by s6115 (Not rated, 46k, WangXian, Junior Quartet Centric, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Junior Quartet Dynamics) LSZ finds talismans in WWX's old bedroom when he is invited to LP, and that way he can see different scenes of his life at BM, one of them being after the narrow path comment, when WWX tells him he can't have a ribbon, because that would mean be a Lan, who can't run, or laugh, or smile until his face hurts.

~*~

13. Hi!! Can you help me find this fic? I've been reading this fic again and again before but unfortunately I didn't bookmarked it since I just kept the tab open but then I change my phone and now I cant find that fic! I'm just gonna tell specific parts I remembered 😅

So I forgot if wwx is alive here but lsz here is their real child in this fic and not adopted or whatever and so lsz is known as lwj's child but the cultivation world doesn't know how he looks like and then the gusu lan host a event where lsz would receive his courtesy name, family forehead ribbon, his own sword and music instrument and everyone in the cultivation world is invited, jyl and jzx is also alive here.

And here the jiang siblings or rather jc thought that lwj betrayed wwx since they kinda like know that they at least like each other? (Sorry this was really blurry in my memory 🥹 ) so they saw lsz and he resemble lwj so much but then they saw lsz and saw wwx in lsz, that is when they realized that the other parent is wwx. So they confronted lwj about this.

This is like the most memorable chap? Part? In the fic that I remembered 😅 I hope you can help me find this fic, it's one of my comfort fic🥹🥹 Thanks 😊 😊

FOUND! Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, wangxian, canon divergence, communication, established relationship, sunshot campaign, mpreg, canon typical violence, WWX has new golden core, canonical character death, happy ending, fix-it of sorts)

~*~

14. I'm looking for a fic that's a modern AU insofar as it's not in magical ancient China; it's set in the 1970s, I think, in China. Wei Ying is comatose, and Lan Zhan's been raising a-Yuan. He's basically been adopted into both the Jiang and Wen families as well. About halfway through the story, they're told that they have to remove Wei Ying from the machines keeping him alive (this is expected to be a death sentence). Lan Zhan collapses, but it turns out Wei Ying wakes up. @songscloset

FOUND! When You Wake, 怎能当梦一场 by MouSanRen (T, 40k, wangxian, modern, WWX is in a coma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Single Dad LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Parenthood, YZY's A+ Parenting,JFM's A+ parenting)

~*~

15. Hello and thank you for all you do to this fandom, mods, you're so great.

I'm looking for two Very Explicit fics that I read AN ETERNITY ago (I think it was 2020?) and I really hope they still exist. I'm very sorry but the horny demon in my brain has been LOUD about them. They're both one shots.

A) genderbent A/B/O, omega wwx is married to someone else and has a son, alpha lwj keeps thirsting over her every time she goes for her run in the neighborhood? One day wwx invites her in and well. Sex ensues.

B) canon setting, hard BDSM, lwj has wwx tied up (suspended?), wwx goes into subspace and lwj makes him cum from eating his ass which apparently is not something he can manage to do usually.

15A)

FOUND? #15A seems to have been deleted from ao3 but it's "Young Sexy Dyke Rails Hot MILF From Next Door and Sucks Her Tits Dry!" by crimsonkestrel

~*~

16. I'm looking for a story, I believe it was a multi-chapter, where WWX and LWJ keep trying to experiment with bondage, but it keeps going wrong. I know that the last time it went wrong, LWJ fell down a ravine and seriously injured his leg. It was also a modern AU, and they got married (or were in the process of getting married) at the end. Any help would be appreciated! Thank you!

~*~

17. Hi (＾▽＾) I need help to find some fics!

A) I don't remember all that much but, it is after the SSC and WWX becomes like the jiang sect's elder and I'm pretty sure it's a fix-it.

B) Wangxian is getting married and they are doing a ritual in the bedroom were they eat baozi I think and WWX's is raw and filed with lotus petals.

C) LWJ timetravels and is preparing to support WWX's resentful cultivation but because he changed things WWX never looses his core and don't have to invent resentful cultivation.

thank you in advance!

Hi (＾▽＾) I was no. 17 in the last fic finder and Like a Water-Worn Stone is right! so is Twelve Moons and a Fortnight! yay! thank you! but Resilience isn't the one, if it helps I'm pretty sure LWJ back like the CR lectures and I don't think JC time traveled.

but again thank you so much!

17A)

not FOUND Elder, an Aesthetic by MarbleGlove (G, 8k, JC & WWX, fix-it, post-sunshot) 1st of the series Rest is Revolution

FOUND! Like a Water-Worn Stone by meyari (T, 41k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, very little hurt, lots of comfort, Chronic Illness, Serious Injuries, Self-Medication, Disability, PTSD, Depression, Self-Worth Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aftermath of war, Aftermath of Violence, Prisoner of War, Identity Issues, enslavement (discussion of), abuse (discussion of), actually very fluffy despite the warnings)

17B)

FOUND! Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) I just finished 12 Moons and a Fortnight and it had the baozi with raw lotus petals during the wedding night, so it's probably that

17C)

not FOUND💖 Resilience. by Vrishchika (T, 7k, WangXian, Time Travel, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Self-Indulgent)

~*~

18. Thanks so much for all you do. I love finding interesting fics to read through this page. That said, this is my first request and I hope I'm doing it right.

I know this fic was part of a series. Everyone seems to be a little darker than cannon. This particular fic was WWX and LZ during the sunshot campaign.

LZ and the Lans he was leading were trapped/ambushed in a forest. NMJ could not spare the men to rescue them. WWX goes to rescue him anyway. Between him and LZ they kill all the Wen in that forest. I remember LZ feeling he was not the right person to lead/be responsible  for others in combat. He knew he was given the role solely on his status. 

I thought I bookmarked this but apparently not. I don't know if this series was complete or not. Thank you so much

As a consequence LZ and WY are darker in this fic.

FOUND? The Children's Crusade by natcat5 (M, 44k, JC & Yunmeng disciples, NHS & NMJ, JC & WWX, wangxian, JYL/JZX, Canon Divergence, Missing Scenes, Character Study, Sunshot Campaign, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Partial Golden Core Reveal, references to ableism, self-direct ableism, Self-Esteem Issues, Let Jiang Yanli be a little angry as a treat) the fic in question is part 3

~*~

19. hi, im looking for a modern au where lwj makes lan qiren give wwx a written apology for driving him away? i think lwj had a-yuan and wwx believed he was a bad influence or something? anyway, it was a formal apology and lwj gives oy to a flabbergasted wwx when they reunite.

FOUND! say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn (E, 68k, WangXian, Modern AU, Family Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kid Fic, Adoption, Foster Care, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

20. good day! 🧡🧡 do u guys know the fic where lsz time traveled during the wens went to lotus pier like he saved the bloody wwx then called lwj and introduced himself as their son in the future. i remember that yuan left a letter and they put it in a frame (in their bedroom) at the end of the story. i bookmarked it but i cant find it on my list. thankyouuu!

FOUND? Son's Intervention by abCEE (T, 14k, WangXian, Time Travel, OOC, slightly (?), Dark LSZ, LSZ is LWJ and WWX's Child, Implied Mpreg, Fall of Lotus Pier, Revenge, No Golden Core Transfer, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, demonic array, Canon-Typical Violence, No Sunshot Campaign, No demonic cultivation, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Not Jiang Family Friendly, read beginning notes please, CQL Verse, Married WangXian Have Children, BAMF LSZ)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

[iikawarii]

was i not good enough? (tech x reader)

the title could be misleading, i promise this is mostly fluff! <3 its a song title.

request from EmBeanWrites on Ao3! <3

Working on Kamino with clones, it got easy to lose yourself in the motions of day-to-day life. The same faces, the same halls, the same office cubicle of yours with no decoration, other than papers strewn across your desk. It was an infrequent sight to see something that stood out against the plain white background of the rainy planet’s facilities. Unless it was one of those lucky days that you got to work with Clone Force 99.

They were a breath of fresh air. Different from the other clones, with more individualistic traits that you were assigned to study. It felt rude to study the group without at least being friendly, so of course you had to befriend them. You didn’t expect the work assignment to invoke some of the most fun you’ve had around anyone in your whole life.

99 was composed of four men: Hunter, the sergeant, Wrecker, Crosshair, and Tech. Each one had their own genetic enhancements to pair with their role in the group; Hunter had increased senses and heightened awareness, Wrecker was a goliath of a man, Crosshair had the sharpest vision, and the sharpest aim to pair with it, and finally Tech who had knowledge on just about every subject. Any question you asked would be answered within moments, and so linearly too. No room for confusion with this group. 

They recently gained a new member to their squad, CT-1409, nicknamed “Echo”, who was recovering from a near-death incident. You had no details on it, and didn’t pry; your studies didn’t affect him much, but you still befriended the man.

It's been months of being around them all, hearing a story for every planet, every little argument between the brothers, and if you were fortuitous you might get a glimpse of the past from Echo.

Your favorite of the group had always been Tech; every word he spoke was so intriguing to you. It went beyond what he had to say, too. You found everything about him so captivating, whether it was his eyes, his body, the way his hands ignited something in you every time you watched him work… it was impossible to ignore and you couldn’t shake the thoughts about him from your head. 

It seems a lot of your actions have been horribly misinterpreted, though –every so often you’d get teased for a crush on one of the other men in the group, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. From the moment you met the Batch, Tech caught your eye and stayed in your sights for as long as possible. Unfortunately, the luxury of being around each other was often cut short by your respective duties: his as a soldier, and yours as someone who stayed on planet, helping out where you could. Sometimes, you’d get lucky enough to have some spare time to spend with the group as a whole, but never just Tech alone. 

Today was different. 99 was given a day off, and you were the first person to come to mind once the news broke. Wrecker was the one to invite you to hang out with them for the day, even if it was just on Kamino, messing around and doing nothing exactly interesting. It made you giddy like a child, the idea of being around everyone, and your mind played with the idea of being around Tech, even when you knew nothing would happen. If anything, you saw your interest as one-sided pining, that wouldn’t change even if you could force it to. 

But oh well, that wasn’t about to bum you out. Even with your glum thoughts regarding your feelings, you still were excited to see everyone once again. 

The office was pretty empty, a stark contrast to the usual amount of Kaminoans and humans alike working in the cubicles, researching whatever topic could come up next. It felt like a sign for you to leave, saving the file you were working on and turning off your computer. 

Something on your datapad beeped, so you went to check the notification. It was Wrecker, letting you know that they were waiting for you in the main hall. The message put some pep in your step as you made your way over there, the windows lining the path littered with light drops of rain that left sparkling drops resting atop the glass. 

Excitement raced through you as you entered the main hall, finding the group immediately as they stood out against everything and everyone else here. The sun entering through the windows reflected off the tile flooring. You tried to calm yourself before joining the group, being greeted by everyone with smiles, except for Crosshair, with his usual serious expression. 

“Ad’ika!” Wrecker exclaimed, picking you up into a hug. With a small yelp, you returned the hug, patting the back of his armor as if to say ‘alright, please put me down now.’ Once he did, you forced yourself to quickly regain your balance, a nervous-yet-delighted expression resting on your face. You looked over to Tech, as if it was an instinct, and his eyes darted down to the datapad in his hand, trying to hide that he was even looking. You shook it off as nothing, returning to the conversation. “Hey guys. What's the plan today?”

“We were thinking about lunch first before anything,” Hunter responded, to which you agreed. The six of you began on your way to the cafeteria in the facility. Crosshair nudged you, as if he was about to make a teasing comment about something, but was interrupted by Tech speaking up out of the blue. “I actually need your help with something in the Marauder,” he turned to you, nervously requesting your company. 

“Alright then,” you nodded, looking at the rest of the men in the group. “We’ll meet up with you once we're done?”

Crosshair finally cracked a grin, as if he knew something that you didn't. You rolled your eyes at his expression, and followed Tech as he led you to the ship in the opposite direction. 

The hangar was quiet today, a few service droids wandering around aimlessly with no assigned tasks. You wondered why Tech wouldn't just request a bot to do it, but then remembered how particular he is about his ship. 

The Havoc Marauder, a custom ship for just Clone Force 99’s use, was parked in the hangar, and you studied it before walking closer. Only a couple times have you been given permission to go on the ship, mostly due to your busy schedule. 

You stepped into the Marauder, watching Tech join you before he spoke. “I actually don’t need help with a repair in here.”

“Oh, okay,” you were a little confused, thinking maybe he just forgot that the issue was taken care of. You stepped back towards the exit of the ship before Tech grabbed your wrist firmly, a little stronger than you expected him to. “Wait, wait. There’s something I need to tell you.”

Your eyes darted down to your wrist, being held securely by the man. He saw your slightly nervous expression, removing his hands and taking yours in his instead. “It seems best for both of us if I just rip this bandage off and get it over with…”

Tech’s voice trailed off, his gaze facing away from you while you looked straight at him. You squeezed his hands reassuringly, trying to subliminally let him know that it was okay. 

“Look, I don’t have a more appropriate way of saying this. I love you,” Tech’s eyes met yours, and your ears rang. Did he just say what you thought he did? All of today you spent convincing yourself he wouldn’t like you, let alone love you, only to be told this. You stared at him, expression blank. 

“I… I just assumed that you liked someone else within the batch. I mean, my brothers are… so much more impressive, really.” Tech tried to hide the nervousness welling up in his throat, his voice getting a little softer as he spoke. You let go of his hands, embracing his face and dragging your thumb lightly across his cheek. “Tech, can you say what you told me again…?” You asked quietly.

“...which part, the I love you?-” and with that, Tech was cut off by you kissing him. It was rough, but quickly reciprocated, Tech’s hands finding your waist as he kissed you back. You could feel a little bit of the metal from his goggles brush against your face. A few seconds of messy collision passed before you pulled away. 

Tech stared, eyes wide at the series of events. “Tech, I have loved you since the day we met,” you confessed. His breaths were shallow, and for a moment you were worried he would pass out right here, right now. But he didn’t. Instead, he leaned in once again, kissing your lips much softer than the previous exchange, his hands knowing exactly what to do as he pulled you closer, pressing yourself against him. 

You separated once more from the kiss to comment again. “And nobody compares to you,” you whispered to Tech, feeling his chest fall as he exhaled a hitched breath. As he spoke a quiet “oh, cyare”, your hands carded through his hair as you gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb fic #star wars tbb #star wars #clone wars #tbb tech #bad batch #clone force 99 #tech x reader #tech x you #thank you for teaching me the art of the tag system #reader insert #reqs open

[boowritess]

okay but wouldn't it be funny if-

before Alejandro and Rudy got together, when Alejandro was in his Valeria phase; all the Los Varquaro's just didn't like Alejandro. everyone either had some idea or feeling that Alejandro and Rudy were a perfect duo, like the sun and moon, sky and earth, popcorn and movies, dance and song etc etc.

even if Alejandro and Rudy were both completely unaware, their soldiers knew. they knew and were absolutely livid when Alejandro and Valeria happened.

"dad-is-cheating-on-dad." like a hive mind this went rampant. and suddenly Los Vaquero's are half assing everything Alejandro is asking of them. being absolutely, unnecessary petty towards him, and when Valeria is on base, ohhh my days. the pair never get a moment alone because all of a sudden Alejandro is needed for the most smallest of things.

Los Varquaro's barging into Alejandro's office where he and Valeria are, every five seconds. "hey colonel! where's the toliet paper?" "do you want to come spar?" "can you come get the spider?" "alejandro! you need to look at this!" etc etc.

or, when Alejandro and Valeria find a small slither of peace, but they are interuppted again. all of a sudden the soldiers aren't listening to Rudy and Rudy has to go fetch Alejandro, but one of the soliders steps in to get him so their favorite dad didn't have to see their father cheat on him. this happens everytime Alejandro and Valeria are together on base.

oh and yes the Los Varquaro's are definetly sucking up to Rudy.

Los Vaquero's:

Dad we went out today and got your favourite chocolates oh and some of the snacks that you like!

We cleaned your weapons and your gear!

Dad we're cooking dinner! It's your favourite!

Oh you want us to do that? Of course we can! What do you mean other dad asked us to do that thing an hour ago? Oh strange don't remember!

Can we help with that?

Dad can we sleep in here tonight? What do you mean no!? Dad! We'll sleep on the ground!

There are always soldiers close by to Rudy. He's never alone. They are always hovering behind Rudy, this is especially worse when Alejandro is trying to spend time with Rudy and someone is always lingering by, or involving themselves. Also when Alejandro, Valeria and Rudy are together, one or a group of Los Varquaro's would swoop in. Whether to save Rudy or butt themselves into conversation.

Rudy figures out the reason for their change in behavior when he spots a few soldiers brushing off Alejandro's requests, others glaring at both Alejandro and Valeria. Los Vaquero's commanding officer, who was loved, respected and admired by the Los Varquaro's suddenly became the most detested. and it broke Alejandro because he didn't understand why.

One night, Rudy encourages Alejandro to go out with Valeria, there's a lot of things to do on base, but Rudy is adament. so Alejandro goes. While Rudy gathers all of the Los Vaquero's in one room.

They are terrified. they get the lecture of their fucking lives. are reminded why Los Vaquero's exists, reminded of everything Alejandro has sacrificed for them, has done everything for them, has given Los Vaquero's everything he can and so much more. he doesn't ask why tbey have been doing the things they do. he knows why. they expect a punishment and are shitting themselves because when rudy wants too, his punishments are fucking brutal. but at the end they get,

"thank you. thank you for being the most caring, loyal, respected, people i've ever had the pleasure of working with. for caring and trying to protect me. i'm proud of each of you. i will not tell you all what to do. you know what's right."

then he wishes them all a good night, turning away. somehow getting no punishment was worse for the Los Varquaro's.

a day later, everything changes. Alejandro is met with no resistance, soldiers doing as told again, even being more welcoming to Valeria.

idk i just think it would be cute if the Los Varquaro's went fucking guard dog for Rudy

#probably ooc #cod mwii #my post #mwii #cod #alejandro vergaras #alejandro x rodolfo #rudy x alejandro #los varquaro's #rodolfo parra #call of duty modern warfare #ale x rudy #rudy #fanfic #valeria #cod headcanons #alerudy headcanons

[osbornenthusiast]

octogoblin headcanons under the cut because I love them so much

(Very minor cw for nosebleeds on this first one)

Otto gets nosebleeds all the time. Like, once or twice a week. Norman has woken up to Otto just sitting on the bed with a paper towel on his nose like a thousand times.

Additionally, Norman is a BIG TIME GERMAPHOBE and he always has been. Tying that back to Ottos nosebleeds, Norman refuses to get anywhere near Otto while his nose is bleeding. If Otto’s nose started bleeding in bed, the entire bedspread is getting washed. Norman doesn’t care if there isn’t a single drop of blood on the bed, he will be deep cleaning it.

These two have complete opposite sleep schedules. Otto usually doesn’t fall asleep until around 2-3 AM and, if he’s not working in the morning, won’t wake up until about 12 PM.

Norman on the other hand, has the sleep schedule of a goddamn military soldier. This man is always asleep by 9:30 PM and never wakes up past 6AM. (That’s on a bad day, he’s usually awake by 5:30 AM). Otto can expect a daily lecture about getting enough sleep and how unhealthy his sleep schedule is, but Otto can’t help it. He can’t remember the last time he fell asleep before midnight, that’s just how his body works🤷‍♂️.

Norman refuses to let Otto kiss him on the mouth in the morning. He doesn’t want Otto kissing him before he’s brushed his teeth, it grosses him out. Mornings for these two have become a daily battle of Otto (jokingly) trying to sneak a kiss on the lips before Norman can swiftly turn his head away.

Norman absolutely loves Frank Sinatra (duh) but Otto cannot STAND Frank Sinatra. Otto doesn’t really have a genuine reason as to why he doesn’t like Sinatra, he just.. hates him.

Norman figured out his husband hated Frank Sinatra during a car ride home from a dinner date. Norman started playing “The Nearness of You” when Otto turned the volume down and half-jokingly asked if Norman could play some “real music”.

Skip to 25 minutes later, Norman and Otto are at home and Norman has been going on a constant rant about how Frank Sinatra is the “definition of real music!” and Otto is absolutely baffled that someone could rant about something so minuscule for so long.

Staying on the topic of music, Otto collects vinyls like you would not believe. Norman collects them too, but not nearly as much as Otto.

Otto has multiple boxes full of vinyl records that he’s been keeping since he was around 13. Some of them are first editions that he’s held on to over the years.

Ottos favorite vinyls are:

1- Brahms: Cello Sonatas Nos 1 & 2 / Bruch. This man is a sucker for classical music. He especially loves it when he and Norman are alone together in their living room, intimately slow dancing to the sounds of violins and cellos and the like. He just finds it so beautiful.

2- Verities and Balderdash. Norman introduced Otto to Harry Chapin back in the early 70s when Chapin was alive and still making music. Otto very quickly fell in love with this album specifically, loving the numerous emotions it delivered, the use of orchestras in some of the songs, and mostly Chapin’s unique yet beautiful voice. Otto and Norman actually got to see Chapin in concert in 1974, and it was one of the best concerts Ottos ever seen.

3- Desire. Otto adores Bob Dylan’s writing, but he only listens to certain albums. He likes bits and pieces of Blood On The Tracks, or even Street-Legal, but he’s not too keen on the sound of Dylan’s other work. This album though, Otto adores. Once again, Otto was instantly drawn to the dramatics and overall feeling of this album. His favorite song on Desire is One More Cup of Coffee, mainly because of the violins and melancholic feeling of the song.

#octogoblin #norman osborn #otto octavius #i am soooo normal about them #I would’ve mentioned Norman’s favorite vinyls but that would’ve been a year long rant

[evita-shelby]

Of Gods and Witches

Chapter 7

Taglist: @v3d3rl1cht @thegreatdragonfruta

Gif by @wiha-jun

He finds her packing things.

He feels stupid, holding the strange parchment paper in which Itza wrote the spell on and knowing that she will unravel the paper to find his mother’s bracelet there.

K’uk’ulkan comes bearing gifts and she is leaving.

“Where are you going?” He asks as she hums along to some song in Spanish in a long black skirt and flowery lilac blouse.

Every time he comes to see her Eva is wearing more clothes than the previous time.

They dress so oddly, he thinks. She would look better in Talokanil clothes, no strange undergarments, no rows of buttons or clasps to get past of.

Her hair is braided and tied with a black ribbon. Ch'ah prefers it loose, to see her dark brown hair fall down her back, to brush it aside as he kissed the freckles on her neck and shoulders.

“If I get my way, Yucatan, a certain hacienda by the sea under a false name. If my family overrides my wishes, England in a landlocked city where I only know three people and will be married off to a man I've never met.” His witch answered and carefully put books in a box.

The mention of anyone else having her displeased him.

He was a selfish man when it came to love; he could admit to it.

He didn’t love her, and yet the idea of another man touching her and loving her angered him.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Ch’ah.” His witch, his woman says bemused as she pauses and takes out a book from the box and setting it back on the table.

It was her favorite, a novel she knew by heart.

There is a file on the table by her. The information of the man they want her to marry.

A white man, a white man who is a proven warrior and would provide her with a home and security.

The man who will live life knowing he will be second best.

Or the man who will make her forget you, a voice said as he tossed the file back in its place.

“In Talokan it is treason to take the king’s property.” He is possessive of her, not jealous. No why would he be jealous of surface-dwelling mortal man across the sea.

“Am I your property now, oh great K’uk’ulkan?” She turns to face him, not indignant of the word he used, but teasing him about his sudden possessiveness of her, a woman he has only known for six or seven days.

“You aren’t, Eva. I would never reduce you to chattel.” He answered honestly.

No, Eva could never be that. For a surface dweller, she was almost equal to him.

A soldier, a witch, a spy.

She thrived no matter how impossible her circumstances became as they changed because of the revolution.

Had she been Talokanil she would be one of his advisors, perhaps he will make her an advisor, her skills could be put to good use.

And you would get to be with her in the open with no one to stop the two of you, he can hear Itza say.

“I know,” the witch assured him she wasn’t insulted by his words. “Besides, if you ever do consider me property, I will demand that I would be able to say the same.”

K’uk’ulkan, God King of Talokan and maker of the sun, is left stunned by her words.

-----

Oh shit.

She made it weird.

Eva could laugh and say it’s a joke, but she knows she won’t get away with it.

No, how can you take back coming onto a man you truly like knowing your relationship is based on her being shamelessly vulnerable with him and earth-shattering sex.

“I have a gift for you.” He says, nothing except a slight flash of surprise in his eyes betraying his reaction to her words.

She takes it with great care, unfurling the roll and barely catching the ancient bracelet as it falls to the ground.

It is his mother’s bracelet, made with the fibers of the plant that made him and his people the way they were. She wore it until she breathed her last, removing it from her own wrist and giving it to her only child.

This is more serious than her coming on to him.

He may as well be proposing marriage to her.

“It is beautiful, Ch’ah. I can feel the love your mother had for you and your people in every bead, every stone. Your name is carved here, isn’t it?” she lovingly studied the bracelet, loving every detail of it. Whoever made it had known his mother very well.

“Ch’ah Toh Almehen.” The witch pronounced his name just as he taught her as she read the carvings and the tips of his ears turned red.

Eva wouldn’t mind marrying Ch’ah, she thinks.

Handsome, thoughtful, better than any man she’s ever known.

“May I?” he asks and she nods, extending her wrist so he may fasten it.

The gesture is intimate, more so than the nights they have spent together in a tangle of limbs.

He is gentle, so gentle and sweet with her that the young witch knows she will love this man till her last breath.

And he knows it too, she can tell as they stand there just breathing the same air, his warm hands tenderly holding her wrist and leaning in as if to kiss her.

And just like that first night, she takes the initiative and kissed him like she might die if she doesn’t.

-----

K’uk’ulkan knows for sure that Itza never intended for Eva to try this spell wearing only her strange undergarments, the bracelet and his pearls.

She has a tub, a porcelain thing big enough for two. He sits beside it and stands by in case the spell fails.

And it has, four times. Eva tweaks the runes and casts them on her skin again before submerging herself completely in the ocean thinking it was the water.

Just like the four times before it only works until the runes fall apart from the water.

“You’re going to kill yourself.” He points out the obvious as she resurfaced and held onto him for dear life.

“I’m going to die anyways, Ch’ah. This is my only chance.” She says stubbornly. “Tell me about Itza, are her runes on her skin or over something else?”

“Jade necklace around her gills.” He answered as both king and witch came to the same conclusion.

The sixth try is unsuccessful when cast the spell on his pearl necklace and he refuses to let her try again.

“Would you let me cast the runes on your mother’s bracelet?” Eva asks once they get back to the beach and tries to convince him to let her try one more time.

Sure enough, on the seventh try Itza’s spell works and once again the bracelet saves the life of its wearer.

#kukulkan namor #namor fic #namor x eva #namor x mexican!oc #eva smith riley

[bookish-artist]

Hi!

I just found your blog and loving it! Could you maybe answer all those questions since I'm new here? 🙏🏼

Well welcome! And of course I can, thank you for asking so nicely mon ami ❤️

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Closed, always

2: Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotel?

No my hair is picky

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

Um well they're tucked in at the end, not on the sides

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

No not my vibe of decor

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?

Yes way too much tbh

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

No I'm not really a coupon user

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?

Probably a bear. I feel like a single creature is easier to get away from than a swarm, if escape is plausible

8: Do you have freckles?

I do not

9: Do you always smile for pictures?

Yes

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?

Cutting me off/talking over me.

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

No never

12: Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes

13: What about pooped in the woods?

No

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?

Occasionally yes

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?

I chew my pens *sometimes* but not my pencils

16: How many people have you slept with this week?

1

17: What size is your bed?

Queen

18: What is your song of the week?

Loud - The Home Team

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

Of course!

20: Do you still watch cartoons?

Oh yeah

21: Whats your least favorite movie?

Talladega Nights, can't stand it

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

Probably on my family's land

23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size?

42DD

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

Depends on the restaurant I get them from, different places have different favorites lol

25: What is your favorite food?

Mexican, specifically enchiladas

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Oh gods.. Pride and Prejudice, any of the Winnie the Pooh movies, old school Disney, Phantom of the Opera, there's just so so many lol

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?

My fwb 😆

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

Nope

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

Sure why not?

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

Hmm, probably in elementary school. We did that write a soldier program and that's the last vivid memory I have of writing a letter

31: Can you change the oil on a car?

Nope

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

Yes

33: Ever ran out of gas?

No, I always have at least a quarter in there

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?

Turkey, cheese, lettuce, mayo, jalapenos

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?

Sunny side up egg on an everything bagel with orange juice, maybe some bacon

36: What is your usual bedtime?

Between 11:30-12

37: Are you lazy?

No

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

My first costume ever was a hershey kiss! Then I was a power ranger, pirate, Belle, witch, cat, dog, wolf, red riding hood, Ghost face, pumpkin king, angel, devil, fairy.. I've done a little bit of everything 😅

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?

Um sign of the rat I think? '96 baby ✌🏼

40: Are you horny?

At this very moment?? No lol

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

Not currently no, eyeballing a couple

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?

Legos, duh

43: Are you stubborn?

Me? Stubborn? Never 🙄

44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman?

Ew neither

45: Ever watch soap operas?

No not really my thing. Unless you count k dramas

46: Are you afraid of heights?

I don't love them, but they're not a fear

47: Do you sing in the car?

Full on karaoke show

48: Do you sing in the shower?

Karaoke show part 2

49: Do you dance in the car?

Way way too often 😂

50: Ever used a gun?

Yes, I'm a good shot too 😏

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Probably my uncle's wedding like 10+ years ago

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Absolutely not, I love them! One of my favorite genres ever

53: Is Christmas stressful?

When you wait until the very last minute like I did yes 😮‍💨

54: Ever eat a pierogi?

I have not actually, I'll have to add that to the list

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?

I'm not a big pie person

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Marine biologist, ballerina, librarian

57: Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Frequently, it's a little unsettling actually

59: Take a vitamin daily?

No

60: Wear slippers?

Sometimes

61: Wear a bath robe?

Also sometimes lol

62: What do you wear to bed?

Either sweatpants and a tee or just a tee

63: First concert?

Panic at the Disco!

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Walmart

65: Nike or Adidas?

Both

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Well I'm allergic to nuts and I don't eat sunflower seeds, sooo 😂

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?

No never

69: Ever take dance lessons?

Yes

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

I don't really care honestly, as long as they can help pay bills and have some ambition in life in gemeral

71: Can you curl your tongue?

Yes 😇

72: Ever won a spelling bee?

No

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Of course

74: Own any record albums?

Not yet!

75: Own a record player?

Soon!

76: Regularly burn incense?

Yes

77: Ever been in love?

Yes

78: Who would you like to see in concert? Ghost, Bad Omens, Hozier, BTS

79: What was the last concert you saw?

Panic at the disco back on 2016

80: Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot tea

81: Tea or coffee?

Coffee, iced, extra milk extra sugar please thanks

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?

Snickerdoodles are god tier

83: Can you swim well?

Well enough

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes

85: Are you patient?

Ehh that could use some work

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ for sure

87: Ever won a contest?

Not that I remember

88: Ever have plastic surgery?

Not yet

89: Which are better black or green olives?

Don't make me choose

90: Can you knit or crochet?

No but I want to learn to crochet

91: Best room for a fireplace?

Bedroom

92: Do you want to get married?

Maybe

93: If married, how long have you been married?

Single af

94: Who was your HS crush?

He was one of my best friends senior year and nothing ever happened :/ come to find out he almost kissed me one day bc he liked me so much but he never did 🤦🏼‍♀️

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

No

96: Do you have kids?

Nooo

97: Do you want kids?

NOOO

98: Whats your favorite color?

Green

99: Do you miss anyone right now?

Yes

Hope this gives you some insight! If you wanna know more you're always welcome to ask 😊

#me #get to know me #ask box #ask #ask me stuff #ask me anything

[all-yn-oween]

I saw you reblogged the OC ask game so… I have a few questions :] Don't feel pressured to find an answer for all of them, though! (Also, I'm curious about Barbara and Gilles, so I have some asks for them too 👀)

🥊 - Barbara and Kazimir ✂️ - Gustave and Gilles ✨ - Kazimir (because I'm wondering if you chose his name because of its meaning 👀) 🍎 - Gustave 🙌 - Gustave 🍕 - Jim 🎹 - Jim 💼 - Barbara 🌺 - Gilles 🎯 - Gilles 🍀 - Gilles

Thank you for asking all of that my friend 🫶!!! This is a fun exercise to do XD !!! Im gonna try to find as much answers as I can 👀

🥊- What do [Kazimir and Barbara] love to do? What do they hate?

Aha! I would see Barbara as a dancer, and she is pretty good at it too. Always the first one on the dance floor. What she would hate… I don’t picture her as being a movie fan. She would not like seating for a lot of time. Unless it’s a Mamma Mia movie.

And Kazimir… okay, don’t ask me why —because I couldn’t answer, but I feel like he would be the type to love hanging out with DOGS. Big dogs especially. (He would see videos of people walking and playing with their dogs and get fascinated and smile with sparkles in his eyes, even though he would deny it in front of Death itself.) And what does the man hate to do? Well, a lot of things. He hates iceskating. He is very bad at it— which is probably why he would hate it.

✂️- What is [Gilles’ and Gustave’s] worst memories?

For Gilles, it would be the moment he learnt about his mother’s death, with a letter, while he was away. He hated that he couldn’t do a thing to save her when she needed him.

For Gustave, I’d say when he was a child. He was still living with his parents, and he used to paint a lot at that time. When things became heated for his family after the Revolution and they left their house, Gustave claimed he didn’t want to leave — and moreover not without his paintings. His parents took them all and burned them the night they left.

✨- What is the meaning of the name of [Kazimir]?

Lsnslsndk, yup I did! :> It means “destroyer of the peace”, I thought it suited him well, considering the fact that I created him because I had the idea of one of Ivan’s men fighting with Jim…

🍎- What is [Gustave’s] relationship with his parents?

Oof- bad, very bad… They disagreed on a lot of things, and his parents never supported his decision to come back to Paris, and enroll in the army.

🙌- Does [Gustave] have any siblings?

Nope, he is an only child!! He was very close with his cousins as a kid though, but most of them left France after the 1789 Revolution. He never saw them again afterwards.

🍕- What is [Jim’s] favorite food?

Crêpes. Yes. I mean, that is if we’re considering his life in the modern times. If we get back to the 1920’s, he haven’t gotten the chance to taste them yet, so i dont know really XD…

🎹- What is [Jim’s] hobby?

The man’s would be very curious about music, learn how to play songs on various instruments. And his go-to activity when he can? Origamis. Very calming, if you ask him. Do not let him near papers, or you won’t find them ever again. Or you will, but transformed into a folded pigeon maybe.

💼- What does [Barbara] do for a living?

She would probably work in a restaurant, as a waitress. Just a job to get a good wage, but being an optimistic person, she manages to enjoy it.

🌺- Does [Gilles] have any love interest ?

Ahhh!! No he doesn’t at least not for now !!! 👀

🎯- What does [Gilles] do best?

Solving conflicts, he knows how to stay calm and focused in tensed situations. Quite the diplomat and he hates arguments— so he learnt to work around it.

🍀- What originally inspired [Gilles]?

Ahaha… Well, I was looking through my Pinterest feed. It was the moment where I started to read things about the Empire and how its army was composed, … . So Pinterest heard me, and showed a few paintings of soldiers wearing a braid… yes. That’s how it started 😂…

#ask game #it was very fun to do and think about all of this :> #ocs #hope i managed to answer well!! 😂😂

[msmercury84]

"I Double Dare You," "Leigh's Radio Debut in the United States on CBS Radio"

Leigh and Bill were pleasantly surprised by a Parisian woman and some American servicemen the day after the Andrews Sisters' concert. Guarnere and Spencer were window shopping and sightseeing on a sunny afternoon.

An older woman approached Leigh and opened her purse, taking out a program from the concert. She briefly spoke with Leigh and Spencer smiled, taking a pen that the woman offered and signing her name on the program.

Bill was smiling and he felt very proud of his fiancee. When the woman went on her way, he said,

"I didn't need to know what she was sayin', she wanted your autograph. Congratulations, Baby! I told ya that (he pronounced the word as 'dat') you were gonna be a star."

"I'm really surprised. The woman said that she enjoyed the show. I told her that I'm not famous, but I appreciated the fact that she wanted me to sign her program."

The couple made their way to their favorite bistro where they ordered some lunch and a glass of wine each. They selected French Onion Soup with freshly baked bread and fresh butter.

While they waited for their food, two American servicemen entered the bistro. After they were seated, one soldier told his friend,

"Look over there, that's the singer from the Andrews Sisters' show and her fiance." Both men asked their waiter for small slips of paper and a pen. After the waiter provided the items, both soldiers approached the table where Bill and Leigh were sitting.

"My buddy and I are on leave and we really enjoyed the show last night. We're wondering if both of us could get your autograph." Leigh signed both pieces of paper,

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show. Guys, I appreciate the attention, but I'm just a WAAC who happens to sing for the USO." The other soldier replied,

"Miss Spencer, we both think that you could be a singing star someday. " Bill told them,

"You fellas are right. I've been tellin' her the same thing." Guarnere talked with the men, learning that they were from an artillery unit stationed fairly close to Easy Company's headquarters. When the food arrived for Leigh and Bill, the soldiers thanked her again for the autographs and returned to their seats.

******"**************************************************************

When Bill and Leigh got back to the hotel, there was a message at the concierge's desk from the Andrews Sisters. Spencer learned that there was a great demand for more tickets for their show the following night. Unfortunately, the seats were sold out.

The Andrews Sisters' message to Leigh said that they were doing three shows due to the large amount of fans who were denied tickets. Leigh left a generous tip for the appreciative Concierge.

When they got into the suite, Leigh told Bill,

"Honey, please don't feel that you're obligated to attend the shows. I don't want to make you sit through everything for a total of three times." Guarnere embraced her,

"Baby, I wanna be there. I don't care if ya sang the same song for two hours each night. I love you an' I love to hear you sing."

******************************************************************

Meanwhile, Leigh's former singing partner Lacey Davis was in a small Brooklyn apartment. She had returned to the United States after being asked to leave the USO due to what was deemed "unseemly conduct" by USO officials. Davis had been caught in a hotel with a married man who was a high ranking British government official.

She heard the radio advertisement for the upcoming Andrews Sisters concert that would be on CBS Radio later the same day. Davis decided to stay home and listen to the concert. Lacey fervently hoped that Leigh would be a spectacular failure.

Davis thought,

"Why does she get everything I want? My voice is as good as hers. I look like Rita Hayworth and Little Miss Songbird is just a hick town garden variety brunette. How did she get that handsome guy to fall in love with her?" Lacey thought about Bill,

"We'd make a strikingly beautiful couple. He sounds like he grew up on the rough side of town like me. I could understand him better than she ever could. I could satisfy him better in bed because I know how men think and I know what pleases a man.

Miss Perfect probably lost her virginity to him. A man like that needs a passionate, experienced woman. How does she keep him interested?" Davis caught herself wrinkling her brow by frowning. She instantly recalled her late mother's advice,

"Your looks are all you've got to make it in this world, Lace. You know I ain't got the dough to send you to some fancy dancy college. Your old man cut out as soon as he heard I was expectin'.

Remember, I used to be a beautiful Rockette in Radio City Music Hall. I was one of the prettiest gals. You gotta stop frownin' like you do, 'cause it will make permanent wrinkles.

Kid, your face and your voice can be your fortune. Don't, for God's sake, let yourself get pregnant. Your body never looks the same and takin' care of a baby makes you get old real fast."

Lacey remembered too well how her mother looked at least 10 years older than her actual age. Despite the hours she put in as a cook in a diner, her mother still struggled to make ends meet.

Davis thought about the cramped, dreary apartment in Hell's Kitchen where she lived until the day she graduated from high school. She didn't want that lifestyle again. She thought,

"Even if I can't make it in show business, there are older men who would take care of me. All I need to do is fawn over a banker or an attorney and make him think that I'm an innocent young girl who hasn't been around very many men.

Still, I'd rather have that handsome Italian guy. Maybe I could sneak around and have a guy like that on the side." Her thoughts returned to Leigh and how she got away with behavior that would get anyone else expelled from the USO.

I've heard that her boyfriend lives with her. Why isn't she kicked out of the USO for 'unseemly conduct?'? Is she sleeping with one of the top officials, too?"

Lacey was unaware that the USO officials had no idea about Bill living with Leigh until he was deployed to Holland. Had Davis known this fact, if she had wanted to bring the matter to the attention of the USO officials, she would have to prove her allegations.

The Commander of the 506th would never allow one shred of evidence to surface. Colonel Sink didn't agree with Bill and Leigh living together, but he knew they were deeply in love with each other in a committed relationship.

Davis was exceptionally bitter due to the fact that she slept with a man in early summer who promised to get her the gig with the world famous trio. He showed her what turned out to be a fake business card to convince her that he worked for the sisters.

Lacey was three months pregnant by the time she got back to the United States and she suspected that the man was the father of her baby. She

made plans with an adoption agency in Brooklyn to give the baby away as soon as he or she was born, and she was determined to get her figure back by any means after the baby was born.

********************************************************************

While Leigh spent the early part of the evening rehearsing with the Andrews Sisters, twilight was beginning to fall in Athens, Ohio. Cal and Louise Spencer invited Gina Ricci to supper and to listen to Leigh's debut on the radio.

The Spencers decided to keep the news quiet about Bill's and Leigh's engagement. Louise had spoken with her daughter earlier in the day and Leigh told her mother about the Andrews Sisters announcing the engagement during the show.

Both of the Spencers were pleased that the trio sang to Guarnere and their daughter. They decided to keep the news of the engagement to themselves so Ricci would be surprised by the good news.

********************************************************************

At the same time in South Philadelphia, all of the local Guarnere family members were at Joseph's and Augusta's house for a big family dinner to celebrate Bill's engagement to Leigh. They were eager to hear the concert on the radio.

********************************************************************

The show began and Lacey Davis thought she noticed some hesitation when Leigh began to sing. She was looking forward to her former partner giving in to feeling nervous while she sang with the famous trio.

Davis was extremely disappointed when Leigh began to sound more confident. She had to grudgingly admit that Spencer was doing the best singing she had ever heard.

Lacy's jealousy reached its boiling point when Leigh's engagement was announced. She was almost nauseated when she heard that the handsome sergeant was joining his fiancee onstage while the Andrews Sisters sang to them.

Davis shut off the radio when the audience gave Leigh a standing ovation. She gave into feeling sorry for herself and cried bitter tears, lamenting the fact that the standing ovation from the audience should've been hers.

*******************************************************************

Gina Ricci, Cal and Louise were thoughly enjoying Leigh's radio debut. The Spencers were extremely proud of Leigh. Ricci had never heard Leigh singing before and she told her friends,

"She's incredibly blessed with talent." Later on in the show, Gina shouted out,

"Oh my God! Those kids got engaged!" Ricci noticed that Cal and his wife were a little too calm about the good news.

"You two knew this ahead of time." The Spencers told Gina that they wanted her to be surprised. They all had a chuckle when the announced told about Bill returning to his seat wearing some of Leigh's lipstick.

When Leigh received the standing ovation, both of the Spencers had beaming smiles. Cal wiped a few tears from his eyes and Ricci was applauding. Louise said,

"I wish we could have attended that show. Our little girl just made a name for herself as a singer."

**********************************************************************

The Guarnere family sat silently in the living room and dining room with the volume turned up on the radio so everyone could hear. Those who hadn't heard Leigh singing before were in awe of her performance.

Everyone applauded after each song. When the engagement of Bill and Leigh was announced, another round of applause came from the family members.

Julia commented,

"Like I said before, Leigh will be the perfect wife for Billy Baby." Teresa told her,

"Hush! One of the Andrews Sisters is talkin'." As soon as Augusta heard Bill's name mentioned, she loudly exclaimed,

"Billy is goin' on stage with 'em! Oh, I wish I could've been there to see the show an' to see Billy with the Andrews Sisters an' Leigh." Maria listened to the announcer's commentary and said,

"That's sweet, Billy just pulled Leigh onto his lap." When Julia heard the announcer's statement about the young couple appearing to be deeply in love with each other, she replied,

"They don't just appear to be in love, ya dummy, they are in love! Even a blind man could see that. I bet Billy Baby has that big, goofy smile on his face." Augusta commented,

"Julia, you know how much your brother loves Leigh. There ain't nothin' goofy about a man bein' deeply in love." The majority of the Guarnere family laughed at Bill going back to his seat with Leigh's red lipstick on his lips.

As the sisters sang, " In Apple Blossom Time, " Mrs. Guarnere got her lace edge handkerchief out of a pocket in her dress and wiped away a few tears,

"It's so beautiful! Those kids were made for each other."

When Leigh received a standing ovation from the audience, everyone broke into loud applause. Augusta loudly proclaimed,

"Atta girl, Leigh! I'm proud of ya, Sweetie!" Julia told Maria,

"It's gonna take awhile for Ma to settle down. She's gonna let the whole damn neighborhood know that our baby brother was onstage wit' the Andrews Sisters." Maria smiled,

"Billy Baby can probably hear her yellin' all the way across the ocean. Look at it this way, 'Jules,' not everybody can say that their brother was mentioned on the radio an' that he had a famous group singin' to him an' his fiancee."

***********************************************************************

After rehearsal, Leigh took a taxi back to the hotel. Bill was waiting in the lobby for the cab to arrive. When Guarnere saw Spencer exiting the cab, he stubbed out the remainder of his cigarette in the ashtray. The doorman opened the lobby door for Leigh and she walked into the hotel. Bill embraced her and he escorted Spencer back to the suite.

Leigh was exhausted from the lengthy rehearsal. Her throat felt irritated and she wondered if she was coming down with a cold. She was on her way to the bedroom, intending to change into her nightgown.

The telephone rang and Spencer answered. She was surprised to hear her father on the phone. Leigh's parents told her how much they enjoyed the concert. Both Cal and Louise let their daughter know how proud they were of her performance.

When the call ended, Bill and Leigh got ready for bed. They made love and fell asleep in each other's arms. The following morning, Leigh's sore throat was worse. By afternoon, she was coughing hard.

Guarnere was sitting on the couch in the living room area of the suite. Spencer sat beside him, feeling ill. Bill knew that Leigh wasn't acting like herself. He put his hand on her forehead to check for fever.

"Baby, you're burnin' up. I'm gonna call the guy downstairs an' see if he knows a good doctor who will come over here an' examine you." Leigh didn't attempt to argue and she thanked him for wanting to contact the concierge.

Bill called and the concierge promised to contact the Andrews Sisters' manager, using the telephone number provided by Guarnere. The manager found a good doctor who would go the suite. Leigh was worried about missing a performance with the Andrews Sisters. Guarnere told her,

"Honey, I know you wanna do the show. Right now, it's important to rest and do whatever the doc tells ya to do."

"The doctor should check you, too. Chances are excellent that you will catch whatever flu bug this is from me. I'm sorry about exposing you to this, Bill."

"Ain't nothin' for ya to worry about, Honey, if I get it, I'll be OK."

"Bill, I'm going back to bed. When the doctor arrives, please let him know where I am." Guarnere was beginning to get worried about his fiancee. He had never known her to go to bed in the afternoon.

When she entered the bedroom, Leigh put on a clean nightgown and got into bed. Bill helped tuck her into bed.

"Is there anythin' I can do for ya, Baby? I hate to see you feelin' bad."

"After the doctor leaves, would you please order some tea with honey and some lemon slices?" Guarnere kissed her forehead,

"I'll take care o' that for ya, Sweetheart." Leigh thanked him and Bill returned to the living room to wait for the doctor. Twenty minutes later, the concierge called, telling Guarnere that a physician recommended by the Andrews Sisters' manager was on his way to the suite.

A short, thin, middle aged man with gray hair, wearing a dark blue suit and black shoes exited the elevator. He carried a black leather bag that stored items needed to treat patients.

Once inside the suite, he introduced himself to Bill,

"Good afternoon, my name is Doctor Carson. I am the physician for the American Embassy. " Guarnere told the doctor about Leigh's symptoms and showed him where the bedroom was located.

Bill had to wait in the living room during the examination. The doctor thought that Spencer had an upper respiratory infection caused by a virus that was going around.

Carson got a syringe, a sterilized needle and a small vial from the bag. He drew the colorless liquid into the syringe. Then he got s cotton ball and rubbing alcohol from his bag.

He gave Leigh the choice of getting the injection in the muscle of her upper arm or in the upper area of the gluteus muscle. Spencer chose to have the injection in her arm. A small area on her upper left arm was sterilized by a cotton ball with rubbing alcohol poured on it.

"Miss Spencer, I'm going to try a relatively new treatment for your illness. I will inject a dose of penicillin. It works much faster than the drugs that are normally used to treat upper respiratory infections.

This should have the infection weakened by the end of the day. You may have to miss one show, but I guarantee that you will be able to perform in the other concerts."

Leigh thanked the doctor. Carson recommended that she should stay hydrated and to eat some rather bland food until she felt well. He told her that some patients became nauseated by the penicillin and that a bland diet seemed to help control the nausea. Leigh asked,

"Dr. Carson, would you please treat my fiance, too? He's bound to catch this from me." The doctor explained that he couldn't treat Bill until symptoms appeared, but he promised to return if Guarnere became ill.

Spencer offered to pay for the house call, but the doctor said that the sisters had already promised to pay the bill. She thanked the doctor and he went into the living room to speak to Bill.

Carson told Guarnere to call him if he noticed the same symptoms that Leigh had experienced. Bill promised to call and he thanked the doctor for treating Leigh.

After the physician left, Guarnere called room service and ordered the tea with honey and lemon slices. This was soon delivered to the suite. Bill attempted to pay for the room service, but he was informed that the Andrews Sisters were taking care of the expenses. Guarnere gave the hotel employee a generous tip and the man left the suite.

Bill carried the tray with the tea pot, the lemon slices, a tea cup and matching saucer plus the honey. He prepared the tea to Leigh's liking and he placed the tray on her lap.

Spencer thanked Guarnere for his help. Leigh was disappointed that she would miss a show, but she knew that singing would be impossible until she was well.

Bill made sure that she ate regularly and remained hydrated. Before he went to bed, Guarnere felt Leigh's forehead. She still felt feverish and he hoped that the injection would work as well as the doctor thought it would work.

After breakfast the next morning, Bill carried Leigh into the bathroom to wash her hair and help her take a bath. Guarnere wrapped Spencer in a large, fluffy towel and he very carefully combed her wet hair. She brushed her teeth.

Bill made sure she had a clean nightgown and robe to wear. Leigh was still feeling under the weather, so she went back to bed. The following morning, Guarnere was happy that her fever had broken. As promised, Spencer was able to perform in the remaining shows.

After the last concert, when she and Guarnere returned to the suite, she thanked him for his help,

"Honey, I appreciate the way you took care of me. You really went all out to help me get better. I love you, Bill." He kissed Leigh,

"It was my pleasure, Baby. I love you, too." Luckily, Guarnere didn't become ill from the virus. The couple enjoyed their remaining days together in Paris. They had no way of knowing that their lives would soon be forever changed in a place synonymous with hell for Easy Company veterans, Bastogne.

@ethereal-jumpwings @wontyoutakeitback @breadsprinkles @stinkyrat09 @f1-and-shiz @alluringmoonlightbabe @bookfansworld @celie-voss @bellewintersroe @lizziebitch33 @lenabob @cagzzz107 @marycorleone @theretroloverofmusic @havaneselover08 @belladonnange @marycorleone @bookfansworld

#bill guarnere #william guarnere #billguarnereimagine #wild bill guarnere #bill guarnere imagine #mrsalwayswrite #band of brothers imagine #valhallavalkyrie9 #vintagelavenderskies

[codyiselsewhere]

If I Surrender - Short Story

**TRIGGER WARNING! This story contains self-harm, mental health and overthinking that's not for the faint of heart.**

Cody had a journal open on the table. He was writing down his thoughts and crossing them out, bit by bit, because every time he tried writing all of them down, he got halfway through and couldn't finish writing it all out. It was an outlet for him, to get his thoughts out on paper. There was mentions of how he truly felt, how much he was struggling, and the constant anxiety that he suppressed down.

He sighed, and leaned his head against the open pages of the journal. Each thought was partly crossed out but there was so many questions and words floating around on the pages. These were all of the thoughts he constantly hid in his head, but they twisted him violently, like they wanted out and wanted to be free. It felt like he was hanging by a thread as every thought got darker, or more twisted, and he knew that he didn't wanna be saved.

Continuing to write down his thoughts, they eventually turned into something that resembled lyrics. He wanted to fall, break, die, because he couldn't take living with what's in his head. Each thought was horrifyingly disturbing, even being written down on paper. He wanted to surrender to his monsters, give up hope towards getting better, feeling like it would set him free.

Cody started to ask himself if there was a point to holding on like this, because it didn't seem like anybody cared if he existed. It was all getting frustrating, every last bit of it. All of the dark thoughts, the lies, the excuses. Nobody knew about all of this, and him being sick. He was getting beyond tired of hearing that he should stay when he knew that he would never be missed.

Sighing again, he wrote down the same thoughts, this time it forming the full chorus of the song "If I Surrender" by Citizen Soldier. He just blinked at the now written on pages with the lyrics, feeling like it was something foreign to him, like it shouldn't be in front of him for some reason. It was hard for him to realize every thought he was having was perfectly described by one of his favorite songs.

He started writing notes, hoping that it might make people help understand his struggles a bit better. "If you could see under my skin, you'd realize why I hold it in, why it's a fight I don't wanna win, why it's a fight I don't wanna win… If you could see all my abuse, and spend a day inside my shoes, you'd realize why I just wanna lose, you'd realize why I just wanna lose… Will anyone believe the hell of being me, before I decide to be the dying proof?"

Writing that note out in his beautiful cursive, he thought of all the negative things that have been said to him about this: "Somebody else has it worse than you." "You're just doing this for attention." "You're just being dramatic." "Suicide is selfish." "You're not praying enough."

He started to cry whilst thinking about those things, realizing that nobody would truly ever understand how much hell he went through in the last few years. Being forced to come out, not being accepted by his parents, straight up being told that he was a disgrace, would constantly be judged for being himself, being told it was stupid to achieve a dream for music, and that his parents wouldn't ever call him Cody.

Wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie, he rolled up his sleeves and picked up the nearest knife. It was his rainbow chrome paring knife, still covered in dried blood from the last time he cut. Dragging the small blade across his skin, he started crying again, opening up the old cuts and making them fresh, watching them bleed as he slumped down to the floor. His journal still sat on the counter, open to the note he had just written as he sat against his cabinets, fresh blood and tears mixing on his hands, hoodie, pants, and coating the floor.

#music #citizensoldier #ifisurrender #mentalhealth

[onegayastronaut]

Quiet Nights (Kate Bishop x Reader)

I was going to write this as a bratty Kate fic but it turned out to be Kate being a puppy and going 🥺🥺🥺

Dating Kate was one of the best things that had happened to you in recent memory, but it wasn’t without its pitfalls. One of them was constantly worrying about her safety when she was out with Clint doing whatever it was they do when they’re together. You know that Clint would do his best to take care of Kate, but you also know that your idiot girlfriend tends to take risks that, were more often than not, unnecessary.

Biting your nails, you turned and tried to get back to your essay only to realize that you had written only half a page in the last two hours. You groaned as you closed your laptop and rested your head back on the couch. Lucky raised his head and put his paw on your lap, as if sensing your frustration. It was a useless exercise trying to get work done without Kate’s warmth by your side. You were tempted to text Yelena to come and hang out, but you knew she would spend the next few hours going around your apartment making fun of you.

A knock on your window jerked you out of your gloomy thoughts, and your mood immediately brightened when you saw Kate crouching outside. Apparently, she had stopped by your favorite take out place on the way home, and had climbed up through the fire escape instead of using the elevator like a regular person. Opening the window, you jokingly looked around while saying, “And who is this stranger, knocking at my window so late at night?”

“I know I’m a little late, but I got you your favorite food.” Kate gave you the pout that she knew would work on you no matter what, and you let her in. She kept the bag out of Lucky’s reach as she went over to pet him. After she was done, you went to hug her but noticed her flinch when you did.

“Babe? What happened?”

“Nothing! I just had a little run in with this guy on the street when I was out with Clint, it’s really nothing. You should see the other guy.”

“Babe, take off that suit. I’m going to see what’s going on and see if there’s anything for me to patch up.”

“I’m okay, really! Babe, can we just eat and cuddle? I miss making out with you.”

“Kate.” The use of her name and your facial expression told her that there was no whining her way out of this one.

Sighing, Kate slowly took off her purple jacket and the shirt that she had underneath. On her side, there was a red blotch that was already starting to change color. “I just know that’s going to hurt tomorrow.”

“Whoever that guy was he sure left you with something to remember him by.” You gently touched her side and immediately lifted your hand when she winced. “I’ll be right back.”

Her abs were on full display for you, but you tried to focus on the fact that she needed you in a different way at the moment. You tore your eyes away from her midsection, but not before she noticed. “See something you like?”

“Oh shut up.” You hated how your voice wavered, and a blush started to creep up your cheeks.

“Don’t act all shy now! We all know you love running your hands up and down my abs. Maybe I should put the food I got tonight on my stomach so you can eat it off of me.” Kate reached into the paper bag and waved a French fry in the air, but before she could put it anywhere, Lucky reached up and snapped it out of her hand.

At this point, your face was burning up so hot that you forced yourself to look away.

As you walked around the kitchen making an ice pack for your girlfriend, you stole a peek at her in the living room. Kate had turned on the TV and was humming along with the song in the commercial, and she was waving Lucky’s paws in time with the music. You rolled your eyes as you tried to fight off a smile at her antics. As if sensing the effect she had on you, Kate turned around in the couch and blew you a kiss. “Your brave soldier awaits medical treatment.”

“Oh, but I thought the brave soldier just wanted to make out.” You came back to the couch and pressed the ice pack to Kate’s side, causing her to suck in her breath. “Does that feel a bit better.”

“Much better, actually. Thanks.” Kate turned and gave you a proper kiss. “I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

“You could sulk with Clint and ask him to give you lessons on how to be broody.” You pulled a face, trying to imitate Clint whenever he was in one of his moods.

“You’re too cute.” Kate couldn’t help but giggle as she kissed you again. “You should do that in front of him next time you see each other. Who knows, maybe he’ll take you under his wing so you can sit on the curb together.”

“Oh, I doubt that.” After kissing Kate’s forehead, you pulled her on your shoulder and opened up the paper bag containing dinner. “You know, next time we should go to the restaurant down the corner and see if they’re any good. I keep hearing good things about them.” You turned to Kate, but saw that she was nodding off. Lucky was already asleep on top of her, and you couldn’t help but snap a quick picture of the two of them before turning off the TV. As you moved to pick up Kate, she whined and attempted to cling tighter on to you. “Baby, no, I want to stay here with you.”

“I’m right here, we’re just going to bed right now, okay?”

“No, I want to stay here with you and our dog.” Kate tried to pull off a pout, but she was so tired that she ended up drifting off to sleep again.

“You’re such a baby sometimes. A bigger baby then even Lucky.” You waited for a response, but all you got was a light snore from your girlfriend. It didn’t take long for you to settle her down into bed, and once you managed to get on it with her, she latched onto you like her life depended on it. Her breath tickled your neck as she held you, and her strong arm snaked its way across your midsection. You could hear her sigh happily now that you were in her arms. Having a puppy for a girlfriend could be hard at times, but it was worth it for moments like these.

#kate bishop #kate bishop x you #kate bishop x y/n #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x female reader #kate bishop imagine #hawkeye #hawkeye x reader #hawkeye imagine #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu imagine

[lovelybarnes]

restless- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, mentions of natasha romanoff, sam wilson, and steve rogers warnings: mentions of nightmares and clingy bucky but it’s mostly fluff about: bucky can’t sleep without y/n a/n: i was going to post this yesterday but i fell asleep :| my computer was literally open and nearly dead when i woke up lmao

today marks one week that you’ve been gone, and with it, the official shortest amount of sleep that bucky has gotten in a week. he supposes it’s sightly pathetic that he can’t sleep well- or, really, at all- without you, but you continuously tell him you chase his nightmares away for him, and without you there to make them disappear, where else will they go but deep into the crevices of his mind, where they’ll hide long enough for him to let his guard down and lull himself to sleep, only to wake up with the ugly memories of things he hoped he’d forgotten. he’s constantly told that his attachment to you is overbearing- not by you, though. never by you- because it must be, with how much he clings to your side, always touching some part of you so that he’s sure that, yes, you’re there. not a dream or an illusion, although you’re good enough to be one.

he misses every part of you; your fingers and the way they run through his hair, trace his features with such tenderness he nearly believes he is what you see, your voice and its ability to transform the most mundane words into the greatest poetry, sing soft songs into his skin until he’s fallen asleep, your eyes and how they examine him in the best way possible, glowing when they meet his.

he longs for you, but he can only imagine your smile, the bitter reminder that you’re probably showing it to some psychopath for the mission you’re on. he hates steve every time the memory is evoked, the panic that comes with your being used as bait for some of the most screwed up villains in the world only returning stronger. he’s tempted to go get you himself, uncaring if he screws up the mission because at least he’ll have you.

stark will call him pathetic, then go to bed with the love of his life, so bucky prefers keeping his thoughts about you to himself, much like he’d like to keep you. you’ve told him you can handle yourself, and bucky never doubts it, having been victim to the using of your skills when he first encountered you as the winter soldier. you kicked his ass then, and you kick any and all ass now.

it doesn’t help his sleeping schedule, though your calls do. he swears you’re an angel because there’s no way a normal human could glow like that through a screen, but you always laugh off his words and simply tell him to turn his brightness down. however, you haven’t taught him that yet, so he greets you with the same sentence every time. his smile is always brighter after your calls, the dark bruises under his eyes reduced as if he got a full night’s rest. it’s your effect on him, and as much as everyone teases you both for it, they appreciate it.

you’re due to come back in a week or two, but bucky is unsure he can wait that long, and judging from your chirpier-than-usual voice in your latest interaction, you’ve finished early, like you always do. he likes to imagine it’s because of him, behind the deprecating voice that screams at him why would it be? (the answer is that you love him and hate every second you’re away from him)

sam scoffs when he overhears him telling that to steve, sitting down next to bucky, “man, there is no way you can tell that from a phone call. even if you could, i know she’s good, but to shave two weeks off mission time? natasha hasn’t even been able to do that.” a proud smile grows on bucky’s face without his permission as he shrugs, “she’s that good,” he brags, choosing to ignore the fake gag sam sends his way.

you frown when he tells you what he thinks on your call a few hours later, lips puckering into a small pout, “how did you know? i wanted it to be a surprise!” you ask through a crackled voice. so much for state of the art technology, bucky thinks, but is glad nonetheless to hear your voice. “i know you too well, doll. you’re really coming back today?”

you nod excitedly, biting your bottom lip. “mhm! i missed you and my bed too much to stay here a moment longer. villains are such pervs,” you complain, nose scrunching. bucky’s jaw sets when he hears your words, immediately thinking the worst. “but, i’m coming back today, so it’s fine. what do you want to do when i get back?”

bucky shrugs, “be with you,” he answers simply, making you laugh. “other than that, dummy. we could watch a movie, have a little date night to make up for the one i missed while i was gone.” bucky grins at this, remembering his plans for that night. “okay,” he agrees, “we’ll watch one of those movies on my list. although sam put some weird ones.”

you concur through chuckles that pass through the phone, reminding him how much you love him. he swears an oath to never let you go again and bites back a yawn that you see right through. “you’re sleeping the moment i get back,” you instruct, and bucky nods with your words, even when the sole idea of your being within arm’s reach is obviously too enticing to pass up for sleep. “whatever you want, doll. as long as you’re here.” he replies, thinking about spending the night pressing kisses to your hair and checking for any injuries you may have withheld from him.

the sentence is dishonest and you both know it, but you leave it at that, missing him too much and sure he’ll rest with how exhausted he must be. you say goodbye without the actual words, only giving a blown kiss and a “see you later.”

bucky spends the rest of the hours without you thinking of you, skimming through the words written in the little blue notebook you got him to replace his old one. that one sits on his dresser, the disuse proven by the layer of dust that covers it. the names he spent hours agonizing over, tracing his fingers over the indents made by the pen, are hidden by its cover. they never fade from his mind, though. only half of the pages of the one you gave him are blank now, and the ones that aren’t are bright and white, inviting him to drop his pen on the lines and jot whatever reference he didn’t understand but wants to. he eyes the names of the movies and shows, some accompanied by quotes that refer to them. “new girl: nick miller,” he reads, remembering how one of your friends said he was the avenger version of the character. “friends: ‘joey doesn’t share food,” sam told him that one when he didn’t let him have any of his chips. he looks at clueless, recalling the way all of his teammates stare at scott whenever the movie comes up. there are a couple pages like this, some of them recommendations and others titles he kept hearing. tonight, he decides on starting a new show, but he leaves the actual show up to you to decide.

you arrive a couple hours later, when stars have littered the darkness that bled through the sky. it’s all very rom-com-filmesque, the way you light up when you see his face- even through how tired you clearly are- and how you jump into his arms, ignoring the ache in your muscles because the way his arms wrap around you seems to make it disappear. he gathers you in his arms and kisses everywhere on your face, treasuring your laugh and the feeling of your lips pressing to his shoulder when you hug him again.

even when you pull away, he doesn’t let go of your hand, flesh fingers tracing small circles into your skin. you don’t complain, even when steve shoves papers in front of you and asks you to sign them with a sheepish look. sam comes by and teases bucky lightheartedly, hounding bucky to let you have both your hands. you chuckle at his request and squeeze bucky’s fingers, kissing the back of his hand, “oh, no, he better not,” you half-joke. he smiles, red tinting his cheeks as he gently draws you closer.

you don’t feel like driving at the moment, and you need to water your plants, completely sure that wanda forgot to do it, so you end up going to your room, even though you spend most of your time at his own room or your apartment outside the compound. you can tell how little the room has been used by the spotless counters and floors, furniture clean of any of the knickknacks you usually leave. you only sleep here when bucky leaves for long missions, his absence is overly blatant when he’s gone, and your plants keep you from feeling too alone.

you usher bucky inside, tugging open your drawers to search for something for him to wear. you grin at the soft fabric under the pads of your fingertips, recalling the memory of stealing them from bucky’s closet to soak in his scent when you couldn’t have the real thing. the considerable use has washed away all traces of him, and you decide that needs to be fixed, picking out clothing for him.

you change into one of his old shirts and make tea while he changes, smiling when you feel his arms wrapping around your waist and kissing your jaw. “what do you want to watch tonight?” he asks, and you contemplate it while you pour your drinks, shoveling spoons of sugar into each one to make it as sweet as possible- his favorite. “new girl, i think you’ll like it,” you reply after a moment.

he unravels his arms from around you, taking the mugs from the counter and following you to your room after you peck his cheek in thanks. “okay, i want to see what this nick miller is all about,” bucky says, making you laugh softly. “c’mon,” he urges, opening his arms for you after setting the cups down. you cuddle up to his side after you grab your computer, setting up netflix and choosing the show.

halfway through the first episode, bucky feels the fatigue hit him like a ton of bricks, hours of missed sleep catching up to him now that he’s finally relaxed and comfortable. keeping his eyes open is a job all on its own, and the sweet smell of your hair combined with the way your fingers move on his chest, softly writing letters and drawing shapes, is too much to resist.

you barely notice when he shuts his eyes, the evening of his breathing alerting you he’s succumbed to his tiredness. you stop the video and quietly shut your laptop, placing it on the bedside table while moving as little as possible. he feels you shift through your efforts, pulling you closer in his sleep. you chase away his nightmares like you always do, letting him sleep his first full night since you left.

he wakes up rejuvenated and embarrassed, sputtering out embarrassed apologies that you shush with kind reassurances and tender kisses. he’s reminded of how wonderful you are when you turn, arms extending to reach into your bag and carrying out a small stuffed animal that you say reminded you of him.

#bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #sam wilson #steve and bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader fluff #fluffy bucky barnes #fluffy bucky x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #you x bucky barnes #reader x bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #y/n x bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #marvel #avengers #avengers x reader #avenger!reader #fluff

[aminiatureworld]

Small Bits of Memory

Characters: Scaramouche, gn!reader

Word Count: 1,531

Warnings: None

Premise: Little moments between Scaramouche and the reader.

Author’s Note: Warning, I’m not caught up on the archon quest. I did skim the wiki (which made me kinda sad ngl), but if there are inaccuracies, that’s why. I also may have made Scaramouche a bit sappy because of this.  

I took “comfort” to mean “hurt/comfort” so if some of these are a bit melancholic it’s because angst brain does not turn off.

Scaramouche

Scaramouche is well familiar with nightmares. He knows the feeling of opening yours eyes in the dark, not moving, not crying out or sitting up; simply opening your eyes as the latent fear of your dreams finally catch up with you and finally your breathing starts to speed in your chest, as your finally realize how afraid you were. Thus on the first night he wakes to you staring intently at the darkness around you, still to the point of stiffness, he automatically understands what’s going on.

At first he’s too scared to wrap his arms around you, afraid that you’ll find the action frightening, or that you’ll instinctively reject him. He only reaches out his hand, secretly relieved when you entwined your fingers within his. Feeling vaguely sentimental in his tired state he whispers: “I’ll protect you from the dark, so stop staring and go back to sleep.” He hopes that you won’t tease him about it tomorrow, as some small part of him knows that it was a very silly thing to say.

Afterwards he grows a little bolder, inching closer to you, then letting one arm rest on your shoulder, fingers featherlight on your skin. Thankfully your penchant for nightmares isn’t too great, so it’s about two months before he wakes up the next day to his arms wrapped around you, you nestled within his sleepy embrace. Seeing you sleeping peacefully after the look of uncomprehending panic plastered across your features the night before calms him like few other things, and he sighs peacefully, letting his eyes flit closed once more. The two of you sleep in that day.

Scaramouche always panics slightly whenever you get hurt. It could be a paper cut, it could be a bruise, it could be a battle injury, his response is relatively similar each time. You might squirm as he cleans your cut off for the third time in ten minutes, assuring him that you aren’t going to die, but he isn’t truly listening to you. There’s a glazed look in his eyes, and it takes him a few moments to register that you’re calling his name. You worry about it sometimes, you wonder what might happen if you were to truly injure yourself. You hope he wouldn’t blame himself too much. Scaramouche has a surprising penchant towards self-flagellation, when he’s not telling himself that he’s superior to everyone around him.

Scaramouche has never horsed around in a river, never experienced a snowball fight, never watched a sunrise for the sake of it. He was not created for such things after all. It’s hard for him to imagine enjoyment in the little pieces of universal humanity, perhaps because he feels somehow separated from such a privilege. You start keeping a list of these sorts of things, small moments to enjoy. He finds the idea silly at first, but gradually grows to like the experience. Perhaps not the individual activities, but the experience as a whole. He might not understand the “universal human experience” as you call it, but the snow against his skin is cold and clear, and the sun looks like fire in the sky, and you’re smiling next to him, and all is well in the world.

Scaramouche doesn’t have much attachment to Inazuma, considering it a desolate land where the people survive despite, not because of, the land. He has no love for the plains, or the skinny forests, or the craggy rocks and hills. The flowers glow preternaturally, and the electricity that fills the air makes unpleasant crackling noises. Nevertheless he has to admit a fondness for the cherry blossoms that bloom on Narukami Islands. It’s as if a small sliver of beauty managed to scrape its way into the world. He’ll take you to see them sometimes, regardless of his status as a Harbinger and a general menace. Perched amidst the falling petals you remind him of some sort of spirit from folklore. If he could draw well at all he thinks he would make a portrait of you surrounded by those blossoms. Certainly there’d be nothing else worth painting.

The two of you like to read together, Scaramouche going over whatever plans he’s currently focusing on, you curled up with a book. If you find a passage or a quote you particularly like you’ll tap him on the shoulder, and Scaramouche will duly listen to you read it aloud. He likes the sound of your reading voice, the way it varies slightly from when you talk. Unfortunately he made the mistake of telling you that once, and you began to insist that he read for you. Though he secretly enjoys doing so, he still grumbles about it out of habit. The both of you know he’s only doing it for show.

Scaramouche once caught you using a broom like a sword. Though you looked very drunk he secretly found it endlessly endearing. He offered to teach you some basic sword forms (despite his weapon knowing swordplay is a basic requirement for all Fatui soldiers). You accepted eagerly at the time, unaware of how much you’d underestimated Scarmouche’s fervor when it came to training. It took a wooden sword snapped in half for him to lay off a little bit, but at least his troops started dropping hints at you that they no longer feared for their lives. Though you think they were joking, you were still glad for the learning experience. You two still spar every once in a while though.

Living up to his title of “Balladeer” Scaramouche has quite the haunting voice. Not particularly high, his range still has a natural warmth to it that belies his cold exterior. You almost never catch him actually singing. The first time it happened was when you had a migraine. Refusing to leave your tent – you hadn’t actually convinced him you weren’t dying – he seemed torn between boredom and worry. At first it was a mere hum, but soon enough it morphed into a captivating song. He refused to tell you the name of it, claiming he’d forgotten, and refused to bring it up the next morning. Still sometimes you’ll catch him now and then humming out a tune, usually when he’s reading or if you’re sick or upset. His singing is something you associate with comfort.

Scaramouche is a terrible letter writer. If you send him ten letters while he’s away he’ll send you three. Still what he lacks in quantity he makes up for in word count. Curt in his official reports, his letters to you are pure stream-of-consciousness, captivating whatever he’s thinking about at the time. Usually the letters are somewhat sappy (or surprisingly bold) missives on how much he loves you and misses you, somehow more honest than when he speaks to you face-to-face. Still you’ve also gotten quite used to a thousand words on how much he hates his fellow Harbingers. You don’t mind, keeping all his letters to you in a box. Though he claims to burn yours, he does the same.

Scaramouche always tell you the days he’s leaving and the days he’s returning. Sometimes he’ll have it down to an estimated hour. Though he appreciates the pomp and spectacle of appearing around others unannounced – something he does quite a bit when working – he refuses to keep you in a limbo of waiting. Secretly he’s also always afraid you might not show up on the docks one day, and every time he sees your face after a long time away a weight lifts in his chest, the pressure on his soul just a little easier to bear every time.

Scaramouche has always felt most comfortable at night. When the world sleeps, when he has the advantage of being awake, being alert, being more powerful. When there are fewer eyes on him, and he can even tell himself that he is the only one awake in the world, can indulge in those moments of wondering, wondering whether he has ever felt something, whether he is missing a crucial piece. Whether he has ever been happy, whether he wants to be so. He can be vulnerable at night, and thus is the reason it appealed to him so much.

Now the night is his favorite time of day because he can always be near you at that time. If you two are in the same land, then you will spend the night in the same room, the same tent, the same bed. Listening to the sound of your breathing, letting himself revel in your closeness, your arms wrapped around his waist, or his wrapped around you, Scaramouche feels truly content. Perhaps he is even happy, perhaps this is what happiness is, what love is. Perhaps it is something more than that, something undefinable, something too abstract to put into words. He loves you, he realizes to himself, he loves you so much. It is overwhelming, like a tidal wave, yet it does not frighten him. He could be struck by lightning and it would not frighten him. It will in the daytime, but now is the night, and now he can marvel peacefully at the fact that he truly loves you.

#made myself emotional with this #genshin impact #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #genshin impact fanfiction #headcanons #requested #my writing

[thestruidora]

Landslide

The Avengers (MCU) Fanfiction

Rating: Explicit

WARNINGS: This story will contain but it’ll not be limited to explicit 18+ content including Obsessive Behavior, Smut, Shower Sex, Edging, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Fluff, Oral Sex, thigh riding, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Jealousy, Possessive Behavior, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Dominance, Submission, Knotting, Scenting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Rutting, Rut Sickness

Category: F/M

Pairings: Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

Summary: Steve was never quite sure if he truly was an alpha. Genetically he should be, coming from a long line of alpha males. But due to the several health conditions in his youth, his poorly functioning body never presented. But now, because of the serum reacting to his true designation, a terrible case of rut sickness takes hold of the super soldier, threatening his life. Being a beta, Natasha can’t offer him what he needs, and since omegas are rarer today then ever, she is forced to hire a foreign girl to tend to Steve during these desperate times.

Author’s notes: Did y'all miss me? Yeah, I'm sure you didn't.

If anyone is interested in getting to know the magical music genre called forró, I chose a couple of classics that I feel like definitively played on the reader's first and only June Party: O Xote das Meninas Xote Dos Milagres Cintura Fina Morena Tropicana

Shout outs: @captainchrisstan, @keenkiddeputynickel, @danidv011, @ballyhoobarnes, @pophbfdsxa, @crashbarbie, @readermia, @musicnowandforever661, @bianaguipa, @deezy-061 Thank you so much for your guy’s support!

For those who missed it: Chapter One >> Language Barrier Chapter Two >> Bilingual Chapter Three >> Miscommunication

Chapter Four

Gibberish

She can still remember the laughter. The giggling that came from the back of her throat as she threw her head back, a smile full of teeth spread through her lips. The exhilaration of being with her friends, dancing her heart out.

It was her favorite time of the year. The sounds of the June Party moving on her feet. The rhythmic vibrations of the music's beat coursing through her. The songs, the speaking, the dancing: all at once ringing in her ears. One of her very first alcoholic drinks running through her veins along with all the spinning making her dizzy.

She was the happiest she’s ever been.

Every year her older cousins would travel to the countryside of Bahia's state, where the June festivities were the most elaborate. Her mom, so controlling, so protective, would never let her go. But on the year of her 14th birthday, she begged a little more strongly, pleaded a little more fervently, and now there she was.

It was so much more than she could ever have imagined. Bigger, louder, an explosion of newness to her senses. A big contrast to her secluded life in the city, because everybody knows that being a woman is hard, but being an Omega is harder.

Her mom was mated only a few hours after presenting, a few hours into her first heat, to a man she barely knew and definitely did not love. But still, she was one of the lucky ones. She could have been robbed, kidnapped and trafficked. Because Omegas are rare and the demand is huge, so presenting as one was as good as a death sentence.

But she was still young, she still got time.

And now, finally outside of her mom's vigilant eyes, with her girlfriends dancing by her side and the pulse of the *forró guiding her body she could allow herself to be carefree.

“Rapaz, que secura!” Lana screamed, complaining about the heat.

“É, tá um calor desgraçado.” Gabriela agreed, fanning herself with her hands, droplets of sweat trickling down her forehead and into her exposed cleavage.

Y/N simply laughed at her friends, they were a couple years older than her, but not necessarily more mature. Of course it was hot, they’ve been dancing for a long time, and even in the open space with the night air hanging over them, the place was so crowded that they would barely move while trying to get to the open bar.

She watched as the girls got their beverages, gobbling them down as if they were the first drinks they had in ages. But suddenly, the permanent smile that had been plastered on her face throughout the night died, something curious shifting inside of her. It was a unique feeling, one she never experienced before. It had started as a tightness in her lower abdomen, but it was growing into a sharp pain.

“Você tá bem?” Lana asked if she was ok, noticing the grimace in her features.

She tried to shake her head yes, but it came out the exact opposite as she doubled down on herself, her hands pressing on her stomach as she frowned, the pain becoming unbearable. Were these cramps? Was she about to get her period in the middle of this party?

But no, it wasn’t that. Somehow in the back of her mind, she knew this was different. She had begun to sweat, but not from the crowd or the dancing, there was this intense hotness forming within her.

She noticed a couple of men standing on the edges of the party space, in the shadows, almost camouflaged. Their eyes were predatory, fixated on her, they shined with a sinister glow, reflecting the flickering red light of the bonfire. Her friends called to her, guiding her to walk across to one of the tables, helping her sit down. When she looked again, the men were gone. Was she going mad?

“A gente vai ver se encontra Ibuprofeno, fica aí.” Gabriela said this time, or was it Lana again? They left, said something about looking for painkillers, she wasn’t paying attention, the pain was too much and so were the smells. All of the sudden, she felt like she could smell every single thing and every single one in the whole place.

She could smell the perfume, and the liquor, the sweet and the savory foods, altogether but also individually, it was overwhelming. She could smell the people, not their body wash or their shampoo, but their true scents. Some were warm and some were cold, some too strong and others too bland. And then there were two that were getting closer, too close, and these stung in her nostrils. Her vision had gone blurry and she couldn’t tell much of what was happening around her at that point, but she knew she wasn’t alone.

Shaking from the pain, shivering even though she was burning up, she looked up just fast enough to get a look at the two men from before, standing right behind her. One of them covered her eyes with his hand and the other covered her mouth. A muffled scream and a couple of weak punches were all she could do before they pulled her up from her chair, completely immobilizing her.

She trashed and struggled about, but to no avail. They were big and strong and she was small and frail.

“Shhh, Omega.” One of them whispered in her ear, and as if under a spell, she did just what was asked of her, her free will hushed. Something about his voice, and their touch, turned the pang in between her legs into a tingle.

And that’s when she knew: she had presented and this was her first heat.

They dragged her pliable body into the woods of the rural countryside, the sway of the forró getting left behind, her mother’s voice playing on a loop inside her head, “Be careful”, she always said.

Everything went dark, she could only make out flashes of information. The roughness of their hands and the graveness of their voices as they spoke to each other, laughing to themselves about how much she was worth, the way they sniffed at her neck, exhaling with satisfaction.

At some point, the grass of the forest turned into asphalt underneath her feet, and she was blindfolded and tied up, her lips taped as she was thrown into the back of a car. She could only whimper, her heat burning inside of her.

Shifting in and out of conciseness, she couldn’t tell how long had passed, couldn’t differentiate hours from days anymore. From time to time she would feel the prick of a needle going into her arm, and then it was all darkness again. She remembered being cold, shivering about as more rough hands grabbed at her. Were these the same ones from before or no? Had Lana or Gabriela reported her missing? Was anyone coming for her?

Eventually, it all stopped.

There was a cushiony softness below her, a thin sheet of fabric above her. When Y/N carefully tried to open her eyes, for the first time in what seemed like forever, she was greeted by light. Not the warm sunshine that often peeked through the windows of her bedroom in the mornings, but a cold, harsh light that came from a singular light bulb attached to the ceiling.

No longer tied or muzzled, she slowed sat up in the single bed, looking around. There was nothing covering her figure but the bedding, not even underwear. She found herself in a tiny room: four concrete white walls, a small barred window and a closed door.

Her heat was over, she could feel it, no more fire burning in her loins. She disentangled herself from the bed sheet, getting up too quickly, ignoring her nakedness and the dizziness, heading straight for the door. It was locked, of course.

Finally feeling sober enough to allow the rage to bubble up inside, she began to furiously bang on the door with clenched fists, kicking it, screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Hey!” A male voice boomed just outside, appearing suddenly, as if he was already waiting right there. “Yapma!” He hit the metal of the door, hard, making it shake slightly.

She retreated, startled, analyzing the situation. She had no idea what he had said, but gathering from the brutality with which it was uttered, it couldn't have been good. She didn't even know where she'd been taken, but she had an idea why.

More male voices were spoken on the other side of the wall, in that language she did not know. Something electronic beeped, then it let out a subtle ping sound, and just like that the door was sprung open. Two men walked in, the first thing she noticed was the gun one of them was carrying, while the other came in with a paper file in his hands. She backed away into the corner of the room, trying to cover her exposed chest and genitals with her hands, their big Alpha bodies taking over the space, making her feel even more intimidated.

“Nasıl hissediyorsun?” The one with the file said to her, his words sounding like a reserved recording to her brain. He was older, maybe in his late forties, greying hair at the top of his head, a light blue suit framing his ample shoulders.

When she didn’t answer, simply stood there against the wall, trying to control her labored breathing and the sheer fear that had taken over her body, causing even her inner organs to shake, he gave her a once over, opening the file and scanning through whatever was written there.

“Brazil, huh?” He arched one of his brows. “Can you understand me now?” He asked her, deliberately enunciating every word.

Y/N swallowed the sigh that was trying to leave her lips, staring at the gun, wide-eyed.

“Dumb bitch.” The man in the suit murmured to himself, snapping a finger in her face, getting her attention. “You’ve been on sedatives for a long time, little one. How are you feeling?” He said it as slow as he could, as if speaking to an animal. “Do you got a tummy-ache or a headache?” He rubbed his belly while saying ‘tummy’ and touched his temples while saying ‘head’.

She only frowned at him, a crease forming in between her eyebrows. He scoffed, leaning forward, letting his light-colored eyes roam over the valley of her breasts.

“Or maybe you’re just cranky cause you didn’t get no Alpha dick inside that tight little pussy yet.” Before he could finish his words, she was already propelling the whole weight of her body into her closed fist as she punched him in the face, fear turning into fury.

“Oh!” He growled, covering his bleeding nose, quickly walking away from her, face contorted in pain. “Shoot her!” He yelled at the other man, who promptly pointed his gun at her.

“Não!” She shouted out, closing her eyes and attempting to protect her face with her hands. A blunt sound echoed in the room and she felt something sharp go into her leg. Before she had enough time to come to the conclusion that it was tranquilizer dart, her eyes rolled back into their sockets and blackness welcomed her once again.

*

Five years had passed with her locked in that place, slowly forgetting where her mom’s face wrinkled the most when she was angry, or the exact shade of her eyes, the particular timbre of her voice. Y/N was slowly going mad, losing all hope of ever being rescued by the hero that always came to her in her dreams.

She was fourteen when she was taken, highly prized for her young age and virginity. They tried to sell her to the highest bidder many times, but she fought like an Alpha. Biting, roaring at anyone that came too close. Some of the men even began to doubt she was a real Omega, but ever so often her heat came and it reminded them. Emir, the big boss of the operation, sometimes would come to her doorstep during those times, tap at door and use his Alpha voice, laughing when she had to bit her own lips to control the moans his presence was causing.

But in the end, she wasn’t genetically compatible with anyone, and even those that wanted her for her fierceness were disappointed to find that her DNA did not match with theirs. A part of her was happy she had never been sold and probably never would be, just for the simple satisfaction of knowing that her body wouldn’t give those men any profit.

So there she stayed, locked up, imprisoned, hearing the sounds of the other girls crying in their rooms while she got on her tiptoes, trying to catch glimpses of the outside world through her only window, waiting.

It had been a while since she last saw Emir when the door made it’s telltale beep and was opened by him, but this time, he wasn’t alone.

“Hello there, my Latin beauty.” He smiled an evil smile at her, but she didn’t pay it any mind, focused on the redhead woman that was beside him, looking at Y/N with sorrow in her eyes. “See, Widow? I told you my girls are gorgeous, look at her.”

The woman let a displeased noise at his words, coming closer to Y/N, who gave her a distrustful look.

“Hi, I’m Natasha. What’s your name?”

“It’s Y/N.” Emir answered for her.“Oh, and she doesn’t talk.”

“Excuse me, what do you mean?”Natasha turned to him, her short red locks moving with her.“She’s mute?”

“Nah, she just doesn’t know any English.”

“Oh.” She gave the girl one more pitiful stare, but Y/N felt like she was looking right through her.

*

Leaving the facility was like a dream and a nightmare all at the same time. While finally being free was wonderful, Y/N knew that such freedom would come at a cost. The woman, Natasha Romanoff, wasn’t the best at Portuguese, but knew enough of it in order for them to communicate.

Y/N didn’t say much when they gave her a suitcase full of brand-new clothes and guided her out of that God-forsaken place. She didn’t say a word when a dark-haired man tried to take the suitcase from her hands, Natasha said his name was James and that he was only trying to be chivalrous, something about the 1940’s that she didn’t quite understand.

She remained quiet as Natasha tried her best to explain to her that a man’s life was at stake, that Captain America was dying of a terrible rut sickness, and that he was compatible with her and her alone. That yes, she had been bought like cattle, but it was for noble reasons, because Steve Rogers was an honorable man, a hero and his destiny was in her hands.

She kept all of her thoughts to herself as Natasha pulled up a ‘Rut Companion’ contract, stipulating that once Y/N had served her purpose and Mr. Rogers was out of danger and well, she would receive a large sum of money and could walk away from all of this, go anywhere she wanted and do whatever she pleased. Even after signing it, she resigned herself to silence.

And of course, she didn’t say anything when they boarded a jet to the United States, not even a word about the fact that she was actually fluent in English.

Please feel more than welcome to request your name to be tagged and do check out my Patreon to get your own custom made story!

#STEVE ROGERS IMAGINE #STEVE ROGERS FANFICTION #CAPTAIN AMERICA IMAGINE #MCU IMAGINE #MCU FANFICTION #CAPTAIN AMERICA FANFICTION #IMAGINE ABO #STEVE ROGERS ABO #STEVE ROGERS ALPHA #READER OMEGA #STEVE ROGERS X READER #CAPTAIN AMERICA X READER #ALPHA BETA OMEGA #STEVE ROGERS SMUT #CAPTAIN AMERICA SMUT #CHRIS EVANS #MCUFAM #AVENGERS ENDGAME #AVENGERS IMAGINE #AVENGERS FANFICTION #landslide chapter 4