#like part of this is definitely having a woman as the main character is a real relief after too long watching bl adjacent stuff

[inimitablereel]

Okay so I am not particularly far into Russian Doll but Nadia Vulvokov is the fucked up female character I've been looking for. She's a disaster, but like she's very smart and capable, just extremely not put together. She doesn't care about anyone else's problems, but in an asshole way not an I don't get people way. She will absolutely torpedo a relationship at any time even ignoring the time loop but her feelings Will be hurt if you're mean to her back. I love her I want ten

#russian doll #tbh I feel like I'm not quite articulating what makes me love her so much #but she's SO good #like part of this is definitely having a woman as the main character is a real relief after too long watching bl adjacent stuff #but she's just so fully realized as a person and also she's such an asshole <3

[averageallogene]

Tighnari ♡⊹˚ Heated mind (NSFW)

✧˖°. Summary: An Amurta student gets stationed in Gandharva Ville to practice medicine, growing a bond with Tighnari. Becoming quite close, Tighnari finds himself in a predicament that hits him like a truck right around the time his heat starts up.

fem. reader (3rd person) ; plot with concluding smut ; cw for breeding, character in heat.

8k words.

notes. Starting off strong lmao- This idea has literally been stuck in my head for days! I can’t get over the idea of Tighnari in heat. Just. Just. Just. Oh my good lord. No thoughts head empty just Tighnari in heat, needy as well as confused over his ordeal. Enjoy! ✧˖°.

Tighnari considered himself a busy man. The life of a forest watcher was certainly not easy, yet he thought it was all the more fulfilling. Between training the rangers stationed with him and studying the ecosystems of the rainforests of Sumeru, the young researcher never thought over anything else. For quite a while, he was very content.

That was, until he had what, in hindsight, would be a fateful encounter.

Many would pass between Gandharva Ville, including from other lands as well as from within their main city. He was used to dealing with people, being a very educated and overall pleasant person to speak with; in fact, more so when the topic at hand regarded either the ecosystems or anything else biology related. Collei would usually direct curious folk to him so Tighnari would indulge in any questions they might have, as well as, maybe, the occasional request if it was deemed appropriate. It was, for most, a most agreeable arrangement.

It started that way, in fact. An agreeable arrangement. A young woman, an Amurta student from the Akademiya, had been stationed in Gandharva Ville so she could practice the medicine that she’d learned. After all, no doctor could graduate without eventually moving on to the nitty and gritty. It was something most in the branch were nervous about, and the scent in the air upon her first arrival was definitely noticed. Nervousness, but also excitement. The promising student was more than ready to begin her practical studies amidst the forest rangers, and Tighnari saw no reason for denying her a station. After all, it would be most hypocritical of him not to, as a researcher himself.

Besides, perhaps the scolding of an outsider would do well to his rangers. Some were too used to ignoring his (frankly, undeniably justified!) ‘harsh’ reprimands. 

She was very pleasant to work with, thankfully. A kind spirit who got along well with most, determination glowing from her very being. Tighnari worried their lifestyle would somehow be incompatible with her own, given the lack of readily available supplies in Gandharva Ville for a nearly graduating doctor, yet he found she would very easily adapt herself.

“Thank you for your concern, wholeheartedly!” She would beam with positive radiance, all the while still holding a twinge of formality in the way she addressed him. Sure, he was technically her senior, but Tighnari wasn’t one to care for such things. “However, I’ll manage. I just wish for you to count on me whenever needed!”

Oh, she was needed alright. The forest rangers were… Clumsy, to be gentle. Airheaded at best, undeniably, stupidly foolish at worst. Tighnari gave them the needed manual for a reason, yet some would find a way to consume something they shouldn’t and it would end in potential disaster being averted, or get injured upon not being careful enough in analyzing the area they were assigned to.

A few were even obtuse enough to run off into the forest and find some time to fool around in ways that were more noticeable than they’d like to think. Tighnari’s ears were as sharp as they could come, and if distance wasn’t the issue, the odors they’d return with sure gave everything away. Ah, and the avoidance of his gaze was surely a telltale sign.

To say the least, disappointment had become something deeply embedded with the job.

“That’s just a part of life.” [F/N] would calmly state, shrugging her shoulders whenever the inexperienced forest rangers were caught in anything less than savory. That had, apparently, become more of a routine between a particular couple than what their master would enjoy. “Curiosity is bound to sprout with any sort of attraction. The important thing is to ensure you’re both safe, lest we want to end up in a compromising predicament mhm?” 

“Y-Yes, miss [F/N]...” The embarrassment was palpable amongst the pair, it being amplified with the indifference their stationed doctor displayed. Surely, they thought, they were being judged by a mile away, even as the medicine student gave them the best contraceptive she had readily available before they leaped out of the spot.

“You’re far too lenient.” Tighnari’s voice could be heard as he entered her tent in their stead, catching the smile that blossomed on her face. He on the other hand crossed his arms, a small sigh leaving his lips as he shook his head. “They’re being irresponsible by doing such activities during their shifts!”

“I’m not disagreeing with you, you know…” She laughed softly, getting up before rearranging her small wooden box of emergency medication. Whilst ensuring everything was in its place, she continued to chat with him. “I just believe that tackling the issue with a more open mind will ease our way to the solution. If we shame them, they’ll just continue to try and do it in secret.”

She had to bite her tongue before she elaborated on how the female ranger had tried stealing one of the contraceptives from her small cabinet the day prior. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to tell Tighnari, or another scolding would shower down heavier than the rain that would usually pour into the rainforest. Yes, [F/N] thought the more open approach was definitely a better arrangement, even if a fraction of the embarrassment it could be for the couple.

“Besides, it’s a natural part of life. Sex shouldn’t be demonized.” 

“Well, with that I agree. I just-”

“Tighnari…” Her soft voice cut him off, though he didn’t quite mind. The Amurta student reached his side before placing an understanding hand on his shoulder, offering him a knowing smile. It certainly was a different dynamic from the one where they’d started off with, but the friendly relationship wasn’t at all unwelcomed. “Don’t worry, they’ll go back to normal soon enough. They’re just… Well, excuse me for a lack of better wording, but- Horny. Give them a few days to explore themselves and the high will soon die down.”

The forest ranger gave her a silent look - one his colorful irises spoke for themselves. One of a silent sigh, yet one that also agreed with her despite being tired of the ordeal. After all, Tighnari cared for their safety, and the mere thought of anyone getting frisky in the open wilderness was… Erhm, well… Conflicting, now that he thought about it. 

“Oh, anyway, since you’re here,” Her tone shifted, clear excitement and curiosity peaking through as she turned around and walked across her small tent. His gaze followed her, fluffy ears perking up as his tail swayed. He knew all too well what that tone was reserved for. “I wanted to ask for your thoughts on something. I’m trying to adapt a medicinal brew that’s originally from Liyue, but I can’t quite match this last ingredient with one that may be available in the rainforest… Could you please give me your insight?”

How could he not? The mere spark in her eye was enough to fill his chest with a sense of validation, heart swelling up. Well, that’s what he thought it was, at least. It surely was pleasant to feel respected, as well as sought after for one’s own interpretations. Tighnari couldn’t possibly deny helping such a cause.

Well, in truth, Tighnari couldn’t possibly deny her. That hadn’t occurred to him yet, though. He simply chucked it all to [F/N] being a pleasant company to be around, especially with them having so much in common. Their love of biology and the intricacies of the ecosystems was merely enough to fuel their conversations for hours, lasting way longer than the oil lamps they’d burn to light them well into the night. He found her voice pleasant to listen to, a delight as her tone would shift higher and lower between her curiosity and her contemplation to whatever he had to add to the conversation. The way her eyes would sparkle in such a wondrous way, his reflection staring right back at him as her face would focus solely on him, illuminated by the warm light. His ears would adjust carefully, slowly, shifting ever so slightly so he’d listen to every little syllable she spoke, every little sound she made as his tail wagged slowly, like a trance, unbeknownst to him as well. 

For quite a while, Tighnari was in blissful ignorance. He merely basked in her presence as one would delight in the sunlight of a spring’s afternoon, the warmth enveloping his very being as her fragrance engraved into him. The soft undertones of her natural scent became something he’d experience everyday, almost searching for it even without any clear intent, thinking of an interesting enough topic to discuss long after his legs had begun walking. [F/N]’s stay was well deep into several weeks at that point, and Tighnari didn’t even dare to think about her possible absence in the future. He’d found a companion in her, one he really enjoyed spending time with. 

A mere friend, he thought.

“I need to return to the Akademiya.” [F/N] had repeated, her tone soft as she gave him a smile smaller than usual. Still, it remained radiant to his eyes despite the sudden clench from within his ribcage.

“Oh?” He cleared his throat, trying to lift his head in a natural manner to gaze at her once more. “How come?”

He suddenly felt his tongue bitter.

“Well, I need to submit the reports I’ve been working on…” She reminded him again, waving gently the stack of papers she carried in her arms. His unfocused face didn’t go unnoticed, prompting her to stare at him with a frown that tugged at his heartstrings in a way he couldn’t quite figure out. “Tighnari… Are you alright? You seem a little-”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me!” He reassured her, getting up from his chair before rounding up his table. He forced a smile to his face, masking the sudden sadness he felt wash over him. “Have you re-read your papers? Gotta make sure everything is spotless before being submitted.”

A silent plea, please stay a little longer, take a little more time to be close to me. Though, he himself wasn’t fully aware of it, either. 

“Yeah, spent the whole night last night reviewing it… I’m a little nervous, even though they’re just reports.” She laughed it off, his belly feeling as though it was suddenly swarmed with butterflies. “It’s not even my final paper and I’m already so stressed! What if I don’t meet the standard?”

“Are you serious?” He scoffed, hands resting on his hips before he offered her a more sincere smile. “[F/N], you’ll do great. I’ve not met a more hardworking student than you in a long time… I wholeheartedly believe in you.”

“Oh… Thank you, Tighnari.” It was her turn to feel butterflies suddenly blooming in her belly, silently praying he wouldn’t listen to the loud pitter patter of her heart. 

The two of them remained still for a few seconds, though it felt more like an eternity. His eyes stared into hers, awkwardly shifting as if trying to find the words to speak. Please stay, Let me review the papers before you go?, I think I like you too much to have you leave, were all thoughts racing through his mind, some cutting off amidst the others as he watched her tuck some hair behind her ear. And feeling his gaze on her so intently, the sudden blush forming on her cheeks was inevitable as she finally spoke again.

“W-Well I, I should get going. Sumeru City isn’t far from here, but I can’t afford to be late…” Tighnari’s tail slowly lowered at those words, though his face remained supportive for her. “I’ll try to visit if I don’t get stationed here again. I really enjoyed your company, Tighnari.”

“Likewise.”

Amidst his lovesick thoughts, he couldn’t afford to say more. There was hope bubbling within him, she could get stationed in Gandharva Ville again. His tail raised a little at that, though he still watched as she inevitably left to return to the Akademiya. Most of the other rangers wished her well before she departed, and just like that, life returned to normal. 

Her sudden absence was… Unexpectedly uncomfortable. There was a constant sense of dread within Tighnari’s stomach, one that had him wearily gaze around himself as his ears remained perked, twitching, unrested. He himself was unrested. The nights were long, the sounds of the frogs and the river under Gandharva Ville were no longer calming. It all felt suffocating, strangely quiet without the scent of the oil lamps burning besides him and [F/N], without her presence to soothe him. He’d toss and turn around his mattress, hot before feeling cold, hugging his tail close to himself before wanting to do nothing with it, getting a glass of water before trying to lay back down only to remain pacing until the sun rose again… It was getting rather stressful, ridiculous even.

It took him an excruciatingly long time to finally realize what could possibly be the cause of his mood shifts. In fact, the moment when it all clicked in his head was outright ridiculous.

For those oddly unaware, Tighnari is, in fact, a hybrid. A fennec fox hybrid, in specific. This is stated, because it would seem he himself had somehow forgotten about this very important fact for an extended period of weeks. Amidst the companionship [F/N] had provided during her stay, Tighnari had subconsciously dismissed this very important thing about himself that he’d been able to keep in mind for the entirety of his life up to that point. It may seem mostly unimportant to most, but to him, it is something that greatly impacts his lifestyle, as well as a specific decision that many would do brazenly.

The only night he’d somewhat managed to rest due to exhaustion, he found himself suddenly sweating amidst his sleep. He held his pillow tightly as his body turned, groaning quietly to himself as his mind still dozed off between the state of being awake and asleep. His breathing quickened, the guttural sounds he made being muffled as his fangs bit into the fabric of his pillow. He began profusely sweating, his mind running wild as his body shifted itself, rocking with rhythm against his mattress as he sought any sort of release from the sudden tense bubble he felt in his lower area. The pain grew tenfold, coaxing his body to jerk harder into the bed, huffing and nearly drooling as his teeth nearly ripped through the fabric in drunken pleasure. The sensation transformed to something delightful, him experiencing undeniable gratification as his hardening length pressed against whatever he rutted against. His hips shook violently almost, the strands of his hair sticking to his forehead as his temperature increased, chasing the high he sought as his mind graced him with a delightful dream he couldn’t resist.

“[F/N]... [F/N]...” He groaned against his drooled pillow, fangs biting again as he followed with a low groan. 

“Ah, T-Tighnari~” He imagined the way [F/N]’s voice would sound in such a lewd scenario, the sighs escaping from her pretty lips enough to leave him begging for more. It all felt excruciatingly real, the pain mixing with the pleasure as he ignorantly fucked the bed instead.

“[F/N]!” He repeated like a sacred mantra, rutting wildly against his mattress before the mere shock of his orgasm spasmed him awake. 

His eyes opened wide, panting before registering his teeth were wildly tearing into his only pillow. Letting it go, the ranger breathed heavily, trying to gather himself as his body shivered from the high coming to a halt. His mind still replayed the way her body glistened under his own, her gaze staring at him with an erotic sense of drunken pleasure, mouth gracing him with noises he’d never considered imagining up until that point. Tighnari slowly shifted his hands to support his weight, lifting himself from his bed before realizing the accident on his lower region. His face burst in heat as he pieced everything together, another groan leaving his throat as he slipped his fingers through his hair. 

“W… What a mess…” He mumbled, biting his lower lip as he felt the sudden urge to dig himself a hole and hide in it. The clothing stuck to him as his cock throbbed occasionally, clearly not satisfied and wanting more. Shame mixed with desire as he pondered his predicament, weighing in on if he should even attempt to relieve himself or try to ignore the yearning he felt wash over him violently.

Tighnari was in heat. He was careful to track whenever his cycles would come so he could prepare himself, both mentally and physically, but it seemed to have hit him by surprise this particular time. In truth, amidst [F/N]’s company, he hadn’t even remembered it was right around the corner. And with her sudden absence, he suddenly came to a realization this particular time it would be far more challenging to deal with it. 

With his hands gripping his hair as he sat there, everything ran a mile inside his head as he finally decided to confront his reality - not only did he desire someone, he wanted someone as his mate. This could very well go terribly bad, for his particular dna demanded him to remain with one partner for his entire life span. Would he be up for it? That answer came rather quickly, surprising even himself. Yes, he was up to it. [F/N] would be a delightful partner, he could feel it within himself. His tail wagged violently at the mere thought, desire and bliss mixing in a dangerous elixir as he felt himself throbbing yet again. Still… Would [F/N] accept him as is? He couldn’t possibly force her or anyone to stay with him, that was out of the question. Not only was it undoubtedly wrong to do so on so many levels, Tighnari was fully aware of the responsibility accepting him came with. He’d have to be with a partner that fully understood that side of him, as well of his needs and the unnegotiable commitment it required.

He could only audibly sigh, staring at his own body as he felt the pain kick back in. Nothing he wasn’t used to, yet the neediness now had a point of focus - something it would be utterly difficult to focus on his job with.

 [F/N]’s stay in the Akademiya wasn’t particularly long. She was mostly utterly joyous, for the reports she’d submitted were impeccable. Honestly, she inwardly credited Tighnari for most of her success, for his continuous support and feedback helped her work immensely. His mere existence was the sole reason she nearly begged her superior to return to Gandharva Ville, hoping to remain there as a doctor for a while longer. Sure, she found the other forest rangers lovely as well, but unlike Tighnari, she was well aware of her blooming feelings for the Forest Ranger. In truth, he made her feel like a teenager with a crush, giddy and giggly whenever she thought of him or his big fluffy tail and his pretty ears and his adorable voice and everything else- Suffice to say, [F/N] was ecstatic when it was reported back to her that she indeed had permission to remain stationed there for another fixed period.

The trip wasn’t long before she was back in familiar grounds, the smile on her face thrice as big as the one she had on her first day. She could practically hear her heart jumping out of her chest as she gazed around, silently looking for Tighnari even as his colleagues welcomed her back with open arms. All were happy to have her back, especially some who believed her presence would improve their master ranger’s mood - perhaps, some innocently wondered, she had something that could help him with his problem. Something that was silently acknowledged, but no one dared to even bring up. 

“Where’s Tighnari?” She had finally worked up the courage to ask, smile hopeful as another ranger gave her a sheepish one.

“Oh, well… He’s been mostly confined to his own tent. He’s uh… Been going through a rough period.” A male ranger explained to her, lifting his hand upon realizing the sudden panic in her expression. “He’s mostly fine, miss [F/N]. It’s a more uh, intimate matter.”

Her eyes widened as she registered what it could possibly mean, clicking rather quickly in her head. Simply mouthing an ‘oh’, she wondered if it would be appropriate to even visit him in such a state. [F/N] was not ignorant after all, and her vast knowledge in biology was a handy one when it came to fully understanding the intricacies of the body. 

Everyone quietly reassured her that he was still able to receive visits, though they were more regulated and spread out so as to not overwhelm him. As everyone gave her the brief rundown though, Tighnari was beyond jittery. He nearly twitched as he squinted his eyes shut, breathing heavily as he attempted to rationalize with his own mind. He could’ve sworn he smelled it, her scent, her lovely smell he’d come to adore, but he feared it was nothing more than his heat clouding his judgment. After all, he’d received no letter warning him of her return, so he’d figured it wasn’t happening. That was, until he heard a very familiar voice, his body jumping in his seat as his eyes stared at the entrance of his tent with pure eagerness.

“Tighnari? It’s me, [F/N]... Is it okay if I come in?”

His tail swayed wildly, his ears twitching as he felt his breath hitch. Doing his very best to keep himself in check, he cleared his throat before putting down the pen he wrote with.

“Of course, come in.” He hummed.

His eyes nearly dilated as he watched her walk in, closing the door behind her. His cheeks flushed with a faint color, eyes betraying his respect as they wandered lower. His state blurred his judgment, filling his mind with thoughts variable to the dreams he’d been receiving almost daily. The fox hybrid nearly salivated as he watched her clothing hug her figure almost sinfully, mentally slapping himself as he offered her a seat wherever she’d like. Watching as she came closer, he stalked her figure as she sat in front of him, her scent invading his mind as he fully embraced it. 

“I… Heard about why you’re here.” She spoke with pure sympathy, all the while attempting to reassure him she wasn’t in any way scared or repulsed by his situation. He simply smiled with thankfulness, listening to her every word. “Sorry, I should’ve sent a letter announcing my return. I wanted to surprise you, but had I known it would coincide with your cycle-”

“Please, it’s quite alright.” He shook his head, offering her a look that only filled her with endearment. “I’m very happy to see you again, [F/N]... Although… Are you only visiting, or are you actually coming back to remain stationed here?”

Her smile nearly made him dizzy. “The latter.” She confirmed his question, Tighnari inwardly throwing his hands in the air in both bliss and frustration. Oh, he absolutely adored the idea of her around him, but that meant he’d have to suddenly chuck up the energy to discuss something very important with her.

“Really? That makes me so happy!” He sighed with happiness, wanting nothing more than to hold her close. He watched every little move she made, the way her shoulders tensed, the way her smile grew shier, the way her legs squeezed together as she remained seated in front of him… Unlike before, he no longer had the willpower to deny himself his feelings nor his desires. 

“I’m very happy to be back, too.” She confessed, her cheeks gaining an endearing blush. Between shy glances and hidden confessions, Tighnari figured he would simply have to bulldoze through the topic. He couldn’t wait any longer, else he’d burst or regret ever doing something harsh amidst his haze.

“Since you’re here, [F/N]... I’d like to discuss something with you. Do you have some time?”

“Of course. What do you need of me?” She inquired, head tilting slightly as she offered him her ear.

He gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing before he took a deep breath. She watched as he placed his pen to the side, sighing before finally gazing up at her again. 

“I wanted to have a serious conversation with you. Don’t worry, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

She laughed softly, his eyes nearly closing as he basked in her giggle. He’d only realized he had just treated her like he’d sometimes treat his own rangers, reassuring them whenever they hadn’t done anything worth receiving a scolding for.

“It’s okay Tighnari, I wasn’t worried. Please do speak your mind.”

“Right, well… It’s regarding these cycles I have.” He began, looking for any sign of discomfort as he spoke. He saw absolutely none, as well as no surprise on her face. She was calm, cool, collected, as well as supportive to listen to whatever he had to say. His heart jumped, mind racing as he wondered what the climax of this conversation would be. “Although your presence is very much welcomed and enjoyed, you’ve left just as my, erhm… Heat began, and returned right at the height of it.”

“O-Oh.” She hummed, a blush spreading across her face as she urged him to continue.

“During your absence…” He dragged out, before finally taking a deep breath and deciding to just lay all his cards on the table. “It’s been hell, I can’t lie. I’ve been prepared my whole life to deal with these cycles each time I don’t find a mate, but I can’t deny the bubbling feelings I’ve grown for you. At this point they’re not even feelings of a small crush, they’ve developed into full blown adoration. The issue is, as I’m sure you’re aware, I’m part fennec fox.”

Nevermind the utter leap her heart was doing, [F/N] was fully listening in to him. Despite the fireworks going off in her head for knowing her love was returned, she was still concerned for his predicament. She could only wonder how uncomfortable it had been for him, especially when knowing she was the root cause of this particular cycle. 

“While most hybrids don’t have to think of this particular deal with much seriousness, me on the other hand, have to consider that-”

“Fennec foxes mate for life.” She finished the sentence for him, a sheepish smile gracing her pretty face as she felt her thighs squish together. Her heart raced inside her chest, eyeing him directly as she remained as calm as she could. She could feel his stare glue on her, looking for any sign of disapproval before he’d continue.

“Yes…” He hummed, clearing his throat before looking at her again. “Well… I fully understand that this can be a dealbreaker though, so-”

“I love you too, Tighnari.” It was her turn to be blunt, her eyes finally unmasking the pure adoration she’d held for him during the whole time. They glistened with a spark he couldn’t quite place, catching him off guard before he found the strength to finally respond back.

“A-Are you certain?” He mumbled, causing her to giggle softly. His ears twitched to whatever sound she’d bless him with, tail wagging in a livelier manner as her eyes followed with endearment. “Don’t get me wrong, that… That makes me happier than what I can even describe, but I can’t stress enough how this is a huge commitment. Once I have confirmation, there will be a switch flipped in my brain to instantly consider you as my partner, forever.”

“I fully understand that, Tighnari.” She reassured him, nodding her head as if to further confirm it to him. “I wouldn’t allow myself to fall in love with you if I wasn’t ready to commit. I know how important this is to you, but I am ready. For everything.”

The last statement was, by itself, enough to flip his switch. [F/N] watched as his eyes dilated, slowly getting up from his chair before rounding up his table. Following suit she got up as well, ready to welcome him as she watched him visibly struggle to remain cordial despite what she could only assume were urges bubbling deep within his being. Unbeknownst to her however, the hair at the back of his neck stood, his movements growing slower as he approached who his mind now suffocatingly told him was his lover, his mate. She offered him a loving smile, accepting him with open arms as he hesitantly placed his hands on her hips, noting how they were… Wide. How she was breedable. His mind was running foggy, he had to control himself for a little longer.

“I… I’m sorry if I’m moving a little fast, [F/N].” He confessed, his eyebrows furrowing as his tone nearly turned into a whine. He jolted slightly upon feeling her hands resting against his chest, her voice humming in understanding.

“It’s okay Tighnari, I understand. Like I said… I’m ready for anything.” Her hand lifted to stroke his cheek, his knees nearly giving out as his grip against her waist grew stronger. It was her turn to gasp lightly, though remaining with a confident and loving smile. He watched as she bit her lower lip, his mind groaning over how he wished to bite it instead. “I want you to know I’m willing to do whatever you need done. Will you just… Please guide me through it beforehand?”

He frantically nodded his head, the black of his pupils nearly drowning the color of his eyes as he pulled her closer to himself. Her frame felt perfect against him, her fingers stroking against his cheek still as if enticing him to move forward. With a quiet promise to explain everything to her before anything was done, Tighnari sealed it with a kiss, nearly suffocating himself in the process as he drowned in love and lust. His lips felt hot against her own, a sigh of bliss leaving her as he took the lead, experimenting as his mind lost focus. Wanting to taste more of her, his tongue peeked through, carefully carving out her lips before parting them, seeking her very own as they began to waltz together. At first slow, it rapidly grew more frantic, his hands lowering as he encaged her against himself, his own muffled groans in sync with her quiet whimpers before hearing her babble his name almost incomprehensibly.

“Tigh… Mhm, Tighnahhh….ri…” She moaned softly, his ears shooting straight up as he finally leaned back, letting her breathe. Never minding the saliva on the corner of his mouth, he eyed her eagerly, listening to her attentively. “M-Maybe not here?...”

He was blushing furiously, already feeling excited under his pants. “R-Right, I’m sorry.” He practically groaned, his hands never roaming too far from her hips before he leaned closer, kissing the corner of her lips repeatedly and with fervor. “I’ll explain everything once… Think you can keep up?”

“Mhm…” She nodded her head, taking up his challenge as his lips continued attacking her mouth with desire. And amidst fleeting kisses and licks, he explained everything that would need to be done, seeking approval and consent before it quickly became dark. 

Her mind ran wild, heart nearly bursting out of her chest as she prepared for what was to come. After everyone had gone to rest, the two of them made haste deep into the forest, hands holding together as he guided her through. Despite knowing exactly how the ordeal was done, Tighnari himself had never done anything of the sort, only further fueling his eagerness to finally release this side of himself with the one he chose. Such was very clear with the way he held [F/N] close, murmuring to her the repeated plan whilst ensuring her he’d be as gentle as he could.

“Not scared of the dark, are you?” He pressed his chest against her back, bringing them both to a stop as his lips brushed against the crook of her neck. Against his hold her figure tensed, an excited grin on her face as she stroked his hands.

“No, don’t worry. With you it’ll be fine.” [F/N] hummed in response, shivering upon feeling his teeth brush against her exposed skin.

Tighnari was nearly trembling, though he bit himself back. He was close to finally getting what he needed, he only needed to hold on a little longer. His animalistic urges were bubbling from within at the mere thought of how it would all go down, it being the only reason he managed to finally release her from his embrace.

“Alright, dear. I’m giving you a minute to run ahead.” He explained, a cheeky tone hidden underneath the husky voice he spoke with. [F/N] turned around to gaze at him one last time before she were to follow through. “Be sure to not get hurt… One… Two… Three…”

Her eyes widened upon realizing he’d already begun counting. With a brief smile [F/N] ran, her panting being listened to even as she disappeared into the night. Tighnari couldn’t help the smile from forming on his face, his voice still echoing through the forest as he continued to count the time. His ears were straight up, twitching at any little sound he heard as he felt his heart racing. As he was coming close to finally counting down the minute, he could feel his mouth nearly salivating, the scent of her arousal reaching his nose. 

“And sixty… Alright alright my love, here I come~” He practically sang, moving slowly at first as if he stalked the area for any sounds. 

[F/N] could hear him approaching, biting her lip as she smiled for herself. She couldn’t deny just how excited she was, even if the ordeal hadn’t exactly been one she’d thought she’d find herself in. Honestly, that was all the more reason for her to feel eager for him. Still… She couldn’t cop out and make it end quicker. Despite being selfish with her own desires, she still understood the assignment of ensuring his needs were also met, even if such needs included a chase that led them into a small cave.

It lasted for a little longer than what [F/N] could’ve ever predicted. Honestly, she inwardly gave herself a pat on the back, being able to evade Tighnari for far longer than what she would've ever thought possible. Sure, it might’ve been easy for a fox hybrid like himself, but it was still a feat for someone as inexperienced in such a thing as herself. It was a little difficult to navigate the forest in the dark, her pace slowing down as she realized she was close to their final destination. Her hands moved to slightly loosen her own clothing, a small step to aid in the near future as they finally rendezvous on their little den. 

“Eager, are we?” [F/N]’s voice let out a sudden yelp, arms snaking around her as Tighnari had suddenly jumped from the shadows. His face nuzzled against her shoulder as he aided her in loosening her clothing further, the grin being practically felt against her skin as he peppered her with hungry kisses. “You did so well, love… I’m actually impressed.”

“And I’ll only get better… Next time around.” She huffed whilst trying to suppress her sighs of pleasure, feeling his hands roam against her figure as he shivered against her hold. Tighnari only hummed in approval, agreeing with her before turning her to face him.

“Of course. But for tonight, seems like I’ve successfully caught you…” He breathed out, clashing his lips against her own as they ruffled against one another. He could practically feel her smile against his lips, heart swelling as he inwardly praised the skies for such an understanding partner for his needs.

“Mhm… You have…” She mumbled, her own hands sneaking up on him to help him loosen his own outfit as well. “I’m all yours, dear. Why don’t you claim your prize for however long you wish, ‘Nari?”

He shivered in such a delightful way, she herself could feel it against her hold. It was dirty, the way she made it seem so… Primal. Yet it only fueled his fire more, his urges boiling to the surface before he dragged her off to the little den they’d painstakingly prepared beforehand.

“You’re so good for me… So good. Thank you.” His whines were honestly sickeningly sweet, a stark contrast from what [F/N] had thought he’d behave like. It was as though the normally level-headed Tighnari still wished to voice his thankfulness one final time before succumbing for the time being, wanting her to know just how much he appreciated her.

“Anything for my ‘Nari…” She mumbled back, feeling as the cool air hit her bare skin. 

He felt himself drooling, tongue slithering across her neck before going down her bare skin. The makeshift blanket with their pile of clothes served as a base for them to lie down, carefully trapping his lover against his hold before he pressed himself against her. [F/N] could feel his body hot, sweating against her own as her fingers stroked through his dark locks, sighing in lust as she felt his fangs experimentally bite her collarbone. 

“I can smell just how aroused you are…” He pointed out, licking his lips devilishly upon feeling her thighs squeeze shut. His hand lowered before gently prying them open, his body shifting downwards as he left a trail of kisses against her skin. “Don’t hide from me, love. Not only is it useless to… I could just- Get drunk off your scent.”

[F/N] shivered as glanced down at him, the lack of light only adding an extra layer of eagerness for the whole situation. Her other senses were heightened with the lack of light, jumping at every little touch he offered her as his eyes practically glowed back at her.

“Tigh… Tighnari…” She moaned quietly, still a little reserved, feeling his lips reach her inner thigh as his fingers carefully worked to fully undress her lower region. “I-It’s embarrassing~”

“Nonsense, you’re absolutely divine.” He hummed in delight, his eyes leaving her face to fully focus on her now exposed pussy. By that point he licked his lips in preparation, his hands firmly holding each thigh as he prepared himself to fully dive in. 

Like a starved man, Tighnari was quick to jump in and stop any possible questions his lover could have. Even though [F/N] was already naturally aroused by their situation, the idea of tasting her juices was enough to have him leaping for it, ignoring his own lust as he drowned himself in what he quickly came to realize was the best taste he’d ever tried. His tongue moved feverishly, but not without care for every corner of her pussy as his grasp against her squishy skin tightened. His ears remained straight as he listened to the delectable moans she provided for him, strings of praises mixed with incomprehensible babbles leaving her lips as her back arched naturally with the pleasure he provided. Tighnari could quite possibly come undone then and there were he not to stop rutting himself against the floor, his hardened bulge painfully reminding him that he needed some attention to. His tongue swirled upwards to her clit, paying extra attention as he both kissed and nibbled on it, as if the researcher experimented on any little reaction his dearest provided him.

“N.. Agh… ‘Nari! That feels so good,” she heaved amidst moans, one hand lowering before grabbing a hold of his hair, careful as to not tug too hard. It was his turn to groan, a guttural sound that vibrated against her needy hole, leaking in neediness of him as it only further enticed him for more.

“More, I need more,” he huffed against her pussy, licking up any juices she offered him as if it were divine nectar he’d been blessed with. 

Even against his hold, her thighs squished around his head, trapping him into a situation he couldn’t possibly complain about. His nails dug slightly into her skin, [F/N] swearing she could hear her lover growl under his breath in what she could only assume was pleasure from the ordeal. Having never considered Tighnari would actually become pussydrunk, it was a pleasant surprise to say the least. 

“You’re so wet, so so wet my lovely [F/N]...” He purred, all the while still giving all his attention to her pussy, an experimental pump of two fingers enticing a louder moan that had the hairs at the back of his neck stand. He couldn’t wait himself, the sensation of her tight hole around his throbbing cock would absolutely derail him, he just knew it. The way her tight walls sucked his fingers in desperation was enough to have him shivering, pumping them deeper as he listened to her finally whining out her request.

“‘Nari… I can’t wait any longer!” His [F/N] moaned, pulling his head up by his hairs to watch his glowing eyes land straight to her blushing face. His expression darkening with desire, he slowly lifted himself up, her juices staining the lower part of his face as he licked his fingers clean.

“Is that so? Then tell me, what exactly do you want to interrupt me in such a way.” He hummed, tail wagging as if expecting a final confirmation before the prize was finally claimed.

With her arms wrapping around his shoulders, she pulled him close, eyes pleading by themselves before she whined. “Please Tighnari, fuck me real good. I want you to fill me up, to breed me!”

Although it was the dead of night, his eyes widened, the fox hybrid nearly choking on his spit as he was evidently caught off guard. Not exactly expecting her to use such filthy language, Tighnari quickly removed his undergarments before finally freeing his cock, pumping it eagerly while [F/N] spread her legs nice and wide for him.

“You’re such a dirty girl… But I ‘spose I should reward you for being so honest with me.”

“Mhm, please?” She pleaded, a groan leaving his throat before his lips latched onto her own. 

With both in position, Tighnari aligned himself before finally pushing his tip in, his eyes closing shut as he lowly moaned against her neck. Her tight walls sucked him in, welcoming his throbbing cock with open arms as if begging for him to fuck her into his shape. He felt her legs locking around his hips, her body jolting under him as her nails clawed at his back slightly.

“S-Shit… You’re so tight.” He sighed out, sharp teeth brushing against her still unmarked skin. His free hand roamed up, fingers slithering across one of her breasts before latching onto it. “So good, baby. You feel so good, taking me in nice and easy.”

“‘Nari, you’re so big…” She yelped, her walls stretching to accommodate him as her natural arousal coated his cock. The slight pain would periodically subside as he attempted to not wildly thrust into her, his hips battling against his brain as he gave her a moment to adjust to his sudden insertion.

His lips lowered to her chest, a trail of kisses leading up to her tit before his mouth latched onto her nipple. Sucking while gently nibbling on it, Tighnari began to slowly thrust, attempting to focus himself on maintaining a steady rhythm before he’d lose control. The way her velvety walls wrapped around him so nicely had him seeing stars, the high clouding his vision as he groaned in a sinful manner that only further helped arouse [F/N].

“Harder, Tighnari… Please, please fuck me harder!” She moaned, pleading with him as she held him tighter. 

His grasp on her tightened, finally letting himself go as his hips rolled quicker, faster, harder. This had his mate moan his name out like a sacred prayer, their lewd sounds echoing around them as his cock became coated with their own desire. Tighnari bit and nibbled all over her chest, moaning how good she felt around him all the while, how she was his, how much he loved her. His teeth left many love bites around her skin, the researcher grinning to himself whenever he felt her hole clench a little tighter around him with each hickey.

“I’m going to fill you up, love. You just wait, you’ll be so full of my cum, so full of it, oh I can’t wait…” He lifted his head before lunging at her lips, swallowing her moans as the tears pricked the corners of her eyes. 

[F/N] could swear she was seeing white, eyes rolling back as his tongue rubbed against her own, his dick being able to reach deeper and deeper and hitting all the right spots. Her grasp on him weapened, jolting at every time Tighnari thrusted forward before nearly emptying her pussy and ramming back in. It was so sinful, so lustful, so good. He fucked so good, she couldn’t even stop the babbling moans from leaving her throat as he fucked her tongue with his own. His pace increased, yet Tighnari held on, cock throbbing but still not quite close to cumming, saving all of his load to coat her insides in sticky ropes of white and claiming her for the first time of the night. 

“You want that don’t you? For me to breed you nice and good?” He lifted his head, the string of saliva falling down and sticking to her jawline as she moaned in response, his grin never leaving his face as he continued to fuck her faster. “You’ll be a wonderful mom, oh I’m sure of it, I’ll make sure by tomorrow you’re stuffed full of cum that you’ll surely be pregnant with my pups.”

“Mhm, Tighnari!” [F/N] cried out, trying to pull him back to kiss him more, instead only receiving kitten licks across her lips as his hips continued to thrust into her aching hole.

“I can’t wait… I can’t wait, fuck [F/N], you’ll look so pretty once I fill you up.” Tighnari’s hand lowered to rest on top of her belly, his heart racing as he thought of his beloved fully bred. His back shivered at the image, his pre already mixing with her juices as he imagined her pretty hole filled to the brim.

“Ah, ‘Nari, you feel so good~ I’m so close, ahnn~” 

“Are you cumming love? Then do it, right around my cock, do it, I want to fuck you through your first release.” 

Tighnari watched attentively, focusing for a sole moment as her face twisted, lips parting as her pussy clenched around him one final time. His ears were graced with the most delightful of moans, hole spasming around him wildly as it all threatened to overwhelm his own high. He groaned in response, hips still thrusting through it as he engraved her expression in his mind. She looked so fucked out, and yet one single round wouldn’t satisfy him in the slightest.

“You look, so, gorgeous,” He breathed out quickly, finally latching onto her lips once more as his own pace grew wild and unpredictable. His arms rested against the ground, holding himself up as he pressed harder against her sweating body, grinding against her as he chased his own high against her now overstimulated pussy.

“Ah, Tighnari, that’s-!” [F/N] moaned loudly, arch backing deliciously against himself as her tits squished against his chest. His teeth nibbled on her puffy lower lip, growling as he felt his cock throbbing harder, signaling he was close.

“I’m going to cum, [F/N], here comes your first prize for being such a good girl,” He huffed, grinning wildly before he moaned her name lowly, one final thrust into her abused hole kissing her on her deepest part before finally dumping his fat load deep into her.

Nails digging into his back, she moaned in pure bliss, body trembling at the mere sensation of her pussy being utterly filled to the brim. To her surprise, Tighnari continued to pump into her, fucking her through his own release as his cum coated every single corner of her hole until there was no space left. He felt his head lower against her neck before finally breathing heavily, slowly pulling out before lifting himself up to watch the scene before him.

With hearts in her eyes, [F/N] eyed him with a blissful expression, arms extended out to him as if whining for him to come back to her arms. Her legs remained apart, his cum now leaking from her as her hole protested the sudden disappearance of his dick. Her chest was sprinkled with love bites, body glistening and sweating as her hair was disheveled from their first round of many. 

“N…. Ah.. ‘Nari?” She whispered, face blushing upon gazing how he stroked himself, pumping his hardening dick vigorously as he savored the view. She felt her mouth go dry, the sudden wonder of how his cock would feel fucking her throat running through her mind. “A-Ah~”

“No wasting any seed, now…” He purred, fingers sliding easily back inside her hole before fingering his cum back into her pussy. The sound their mess made was quickly becoming one of his favorites, still rubbing himself while he studied over how sensitive she was. “This won’t do… A single round won’t be enough to ensure you’re well bred, don’t you think baby?”

“H-Huh?” She blushed furiously, feeling his weight press against her once more, aligning against her entrance yet again as his dark gaze landed right on her.

“One more time, love… One more, can you take it? Please?” He outright pleaded, promising it would only be one more, just to ensure. 

It never was just one more time, Tighnari fucking her well into the sunrise, more and more addicted to how she felt around him, as well as the image of her every hole leaking his seed.

#genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact tighnari x reader #tighnari x reader #genshin x reader #yoko drabbles

[schattenhonig]

The A in LGBTQIA+ doesn't stand for aspec because they're not repressed!

(please read the disclaimer at the end of this post)

Ummm, excuse me? Would you mind telling me what your definition of repression is, then?

Because I feel repressed when a doctor asks me about my sex life, and if I say I have none, it gets marked down as a symptom without being asked if I suffer from it.

I feel repressed when my gyn tells me I can't get a hysterectomy yet despite losing so much blood on every period that I need to take iron supplements all the time, because I could change my mind about not wanting children (which is a whole other post, I know, but it's most likely linked to sex).

I feel repressed if I can't use dating apps or platforms because my sexuality doesn't even exist there, and the one time I tried, I got called names because I didn't want to meet for because it was clear where this date would go, despite my explicit "what I'm looking for".

I feel repressed when I think about how recently a paragraph was finally abolished in my country that considered sex a vital part of a marriage, basically entitling the spouses to having sex with their partner (both gender neutral, because entitling people to having sex with somebody else by law is wrong. It's basically a rape permission).

I feel repressed when I can't watch any film or show without it being about love and/or sex, no matter if it fits the narrative and furthers the plot.

I feel repressed when I plot my own stories and automatically put a romantic couple in there as main characters, even though I have no idea why this would be important for the plot. Not even my own stories, my own thoughts are mine.

I felt repressed when I was asked accusingly in a relationship if I wasn't missing something before I even knew asexuality as a spectrum was a thing, and having to lie about this being a side effect of my medication instead of genuinely not feeling attracted to someone in this way.

I feel repressed when I can't tell people I'm not sexually attracted to them because they will take this personally no matter how well I explain myself.

I feel repressed when everywhere I look there's advertising relying on naked skin, suggestive posing and objectification. Why are expensive cars still presented by women considered beautiful and tempting? It's not like that's necessary to convince people of spending so much money on a thing that gets you from A to B. Couches with women in smart dresses and high heels. That's not what a normal person looks like on a couch. But the worst is a truck in the town where I live: it's from a small fruit and vegetable stand, so whenever I see it, it comes from the warehouse, delivering groceries. On it is a woman clad in very little, presenting fruit. I'm sorry, but why? Does a misogynistic picture convince you of the necessity to avoid scurvy?

I feel repressed when I tell people and get the answer "you just haven't found the right person yet", because there are two possible assumptions from that point: I'm either not trying hard enough (so it's basically my own fault) or something about me is not right, appalling even (which circles back to I'm not trying hard enough or frames me as a victim of my genetics, upbringing or circumstances to be pitied).

Do not tell me how I feel. Do not try to tell me everything is fine and I shouldn't complain or ask for acknowledgement if everywhere I look, I'm reminded of how odd, how weird and how not normal I am. How much it inconveniences you to even acknowledge my existence, let alone respect any of my traits, views and choices.

And while I can only write from my own asexual point of view, I wrote this with all kinds of flavours of aspec in mind, so I'm explicitly including aromantics, aroace people and every shade of the spectrum in this. Not all my examples may apply to you, but I hope you can find something to relate to.

ETA: please feel free to add your own experiences of repression!

#asexuality #somewhat of a vent #asexual #ace pride #ace #acespec #aromantic #aroace #read disclaimer at the end of post #aspec

[bunnysbrainrot]

Blood Flow

Kinktober Prompt: Choking

Relationship: dbf!Joel Miller x Reader

Content: [i was going for something sensual and i failed.] Explicit sexual scenes, fingering, choking, squirting, praise kink, Joel’s kinda rough, teasing. No outbreak AU.

Summary: You curiously tread into the realm of choking, but you have no clue why people think it feels ‘good’. With Joel’s help, you realize that there’s simply a right way to do it.

A/N: pay attention to the last line. it implies exactly what you think it does. **ALSO! part 3 for this is out, it’s called Daddy’s Girl!

this scene is so weird, why is he choking her???

Your fingers flitted across your phone screen, texting as you watch a new show. In this scene, the two main characters finally broke their tension, and things were growing heavy. You watched the actor’s hand wrap around his costar’s throat, watching how her face contorted in bliss.

Cause it feels good, sweetheart, Joel replied.

Bringing your own hand to your neck, you pressed against your windpipe and choked, like really choked, but it didn’t feel like you thought it would. And your face definitely did not make those same expressions as the woman in the show.

Clearing your throat, you replied to Joel. A few years ago, this kind of conversation would earn you an intervention with your parents. This was your dad’s best friend, and you shouldn’t be texting him about being choked, of all things.

But fuck, was texting Joel a wonderful time.

A single message could have you squeezing your thighs together. Every baby girl, sweetheart, and honey was imagined in his voice as if he were there, whispering them into your ear. You would imagine his fingers dancing across your skin as he showered you with those sweet pet names.

tried it on myself, and i can confirm that it feels awful. coughing my lungs out right now

Joel read your text and let out a hearty chuckle, quickly replying back. He knew you were a tad… inexperienced with things like this, and that you wouldn’t ask just anyone about this. He had you wrapped around his finger, as you did him.

Baby doll, you’re probably pressing on your windpipe. It’s a little tricky to do it on yourself

You groaned at the text, still frustrated at your little mishap. The reply you gave him was rather bold, but you anxiously sent it anyway.

maybe you could show me

The two of you had flirted a lot more since you came back home from college. Four years of hard schoolwork had you taking a break back home with your parents to choose your next big step in life. At first it started small - little compliments on your clothes, on your intelligence, on how much you’d come into your own. Your glances at Joel lasted too long to be friendly, and it didn’t help when you ran your foot along his leg under the table at big family dinners.

In short, you were driving each other absolutely wild, pulling the tension taught between you, waiting for it to snap.

But Joel wanted to go slow. This was dangerous territory, and he needed to take his time.

Maybe I could

You stared blankly at the phone screen, reading over the message with a fluttering heart behind your ribs. A wave of warmth spread over you with a beeline between your thighs. You clenched your legs together as you texted Joel back.

right now?

J: Door’s unlocked, I’m just watching TV. If you want to join me we can watch that show you were telling me about

Like an alarm went off you shot out of bed, hurrying to your dresser and closet to find a more impressive outfit. Joel wouldn’t care all that much - he liked seeing you in anything. It didn’t matter how much or little you had on, you were always beautiful to him.

headed out now!

Joel have a swift reply that buzzed in your pocket.

Someone’s eager.

You trekked over to the neighborhood next to yours, practically skipping with each step up to Joel’s house. Thankfully, his daughter, Sarah, would be at a friend’s house this evening, leaving you and Joel all to yourselves.

Joel’s head perked up when he heard you knock. He, almost too excitedly, shot up from the couch and headed to the front door.

He was an effortlessly handsome man. And now, in a simple pair of sweatpants and v-neck shirt, he looked more stunning than ever. For you, it also didn’t matter what he wore - he always looked handsome.

“Hi,” you said, offering him a small smile.

Joel raised an arm and leaned against the doorframe. His lean muscles shifted under his tan skin, hardened by those years under the Texas sun, and caught the light from inside to accentuate his bicep. He caught you ogling, and laughed.

“Sweetheart, I’m not just eye candy,” Joel’s voice was soft after the long day he had, “You comin’ in, or what?”

Your smile widened as you stepped in, dipping under Joel’s arm to step in the living room. He had already closed the blinds preemptively to shield yourselves from any prying eyes. You sat on the couch and waited for Joel to join you.

He slowly made his way over, “So, what show were you watchin’?”

You sighed dramatically, “Well, now it’s just embarrassing. We can watch something else, instead.”

Joel shook his head at your offer, gesturing to the TV, “Not embarrassing at all. ‘Sides, I got a plan for it.”

He snatched the remote from the arm of the couch and chose a spot right next to you. After a series of questions, you began to play the show you’d seen, found the right episode, and played the scene in question.

Joel remained silent the entire time, glancing between you and the TV. His stare bore into you, but it was unclear as to what was going through his mind.

But the scene, to your relief, ended, and the shyness you’d felt could be over. Joel paused the show in the middle of the next scene and finally met your eyes.

“Alright, I think I know where ya went wrong,” he commented. You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“It’s all about controlling the blood flow, not pressin’ on the windpipe. That’s a one way ticket to the man upstairs,” Joel laughed and brought his hand to your cheek, cupping your face carefully. His thumb passed over your cheekbone before he shifted down toward your neck.

He placed his thumb and index finger on either side of your throat, right under your jaw. The pressure was uncomfortable at first, pressing into you in a way that sparked some faint nausea. You cleared your throat and swallowed to dull the feeling.

“Pressin’ here,” his grip tightened, “reduces the blood flow. It’s still a lil’ hard to breathe, but it doesn’t risk your safety.”

A lightness began to creep through you as Joel pressed into your throat. Blackness clouded the edge of your vision, blurring Joel’s features, though you could barely make out a lazy smile.

After a few long seconds, he let go, and you could freely breathe once again. The rush of blood back to your brain throbbed at your temples, though the brief headache was nothing compared to the rush of pleasure it delivered.

To your surprise, the rush went straight to your core, leaving you shifting your legs together.

Joel leaned forward and planted a kiss on your cheek, his voice was a low whisper.

“See? Feels good when someone does it right, don’t it?”

You nodded, still held securely by his hand around your throat. His lips traveled across your face, to your temples, to your jaw, and finally finding your own, flush and fluid with your own movements. Joel tightened his grip again, and the same rush came flowing through. It was tricky to keep kissing Joel at the pace he set. Instead, your mouth slacked open as a moan escaped you, swallowed eagerly by Joel.

He spoke slowly against your lips, nipping at them between his words.

“How is it, baby doll? Still feel good?”

It was wonderful. Had you not messaged him about this, you would’ve been completely in the dark about this whole new world of pleasure. So wonderful, in fact, that you could feel a new slickness in your sex, about to soak into your panties. Instinctively you ground your hips, pathetically pressing your aching pussy into nothing substantial.

Joel moved his other hand lower, raking over your shifting thighs, “Tell me, sweet girl, does it make you feel good down here?”

His hand cupped your clothed sex, pressing against your slit and slowly massaging your core. Your breath trembled as you gave him another nod - a small sign of permission to take things further.

“Joel… Joel,” you whispered, fighting against his grip on your throat. Amidst the rush going through your head you could barely hold onto what he was saying, let alone reply coherently.

His lips had wandered to your jaw, peppering a trail of kisses around his rough fingers, “What is it, baby girl? Tell me whatcha need.”

You choked out your reply, “In.. inside.”

A low laugh danced across your skin, “That’s my girl. Always needing something fillin’ her up. ‘Least when I’m involved, anyway.”

He pressed harder against your aching sex - the abrasion of the fabric turned you into a whimpering mess in a matter of seconds. You needed more. You needed him.

Joel groaned against your skin when you tugged his hand past the waistband of your pants, pushing him lower toward your core.

“Need me to make you feel good, sweet girl?” his voice thrummed through your chest. You nodded, urging your lungs to take in sweet, fresh air amidst the constriction. Joel loosened his grip ever so slightly, letting you catch your breath.

He hummed against your jaw as he adjusted his hand with his fingers teasingly at your entrance. A single finger played with your wet hole, swirling around carefully, not fully giving you what you need. Not yet.

You mewled a slurred version of his name, eyes rolling back when his grip tightened around your throat.

Joel’s fingers didn’t stop, but rather pushed further, sinking past your soaked folds and into your tight pussy. A small whimper from you made him smile, carefully eyeing you as he moved his fingers, curling them up to brush your sweet spot.

“Joel… fu-fuck,” you choked.

His fingers plunged deeper into your warm cunt, curling harshly to draw a long-awaited moan. Until now, Joel hadn’t had the joy of hearing you utter anything above a whisper.

You cried out, straining against his grip, but was sent back to fighting for that sacred blood flow back to your brain.

You brought your hand up to meet the one at your neck, tapping against the back of his hand. A beat passed before Joel realized the mistake. He swiftly released you and cradled your head, slowing his movements between your thighs.

“Sorry,” you rasped, “that was just a little too hard. I couldn’t really make any noise without coughing.”

Joel leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. He broke away with the softest tone you’d heard all night.

“You ain’t got nothin’ to apologize for, honey,” he replied, spreading his kisses to your cheeks. “Got a little too ahead of myself there.”

He kissed you until you were left breathless and panting. By now your lips were plump from the bites and nips Joel had given them.

“Maybe we could try a different position, whaddya say?”

After a beat of thought, you nod in agreement and follow his lead. He removed his hand from your pants, lightly sucking at his soaked fingers, and moaning at your taste across his tongue.

This was the closest he’d been to truly tasting you. Words escaped him as he tried to describe the feeling of heaven on his very lips.

You stood from the couch and watched Joel taste yourself on his fingers. He was completely entranced, and monitoring your every movement as you waited for his direction.

Darkness filled his eyes, “Y’might need to take those pants off, sweetheart. Need a good angle for this.”

Now right in front of his legs, you urged Joel to spread them apart and stood between them.

He took this as a silent request for his help. Joel gave you a smile and sat forward, letting his hands climb up your thighs, taking their sweet time to cover as much of them as he could.

Joel hooked his fingers on your waistband and gently tugged, unwrapping you like it was Christmas morning.

Your bottoms dropped to your ankles, and all was left was your soaked panties, the last barrier between Joel and what he’d wanted to see most. Joel leaned further, leaving a trail of kisses from your mid-thigh to your hip, alternating to the other side. Each touch of his lips set you ablaze. His gentle touches paled in comparison to the heat roiling through your belly, trickling right down to your aching pussy.

At long last he peeled your panties off of you, slowly sending them down your legs until they joined your pants. Your lower half was bare for him now; you were a gift unwrapped, the best present he could’ve asked for.

“Christ,” Joel muttered. His eyes scanned over your half naked form, giving you a curious look at your chest.

He wanted nothing more than to wander up there, letting his hands dip below the fabric and slide up to your chest. Your tits were selfishly hidden from him, with your perfect, perk nipples poking through, enticing him to search for more.

You wrapped your legs on either side of him, pushing Joel back against the couch so you could get into position. His legs stayed spread open, thus making you open yours across his.

Spread perfectly wide for whatever he had planned for you.

Joel cupped the back of your neck and pulled you in for another kiss, working his hands over your thighs in the process. You could feel a couple of damp fingertips from where he’d fingered you before. Those same fingers now crept toward your needy hole, teasing you ever so slowly.

You bucked your hips and positioned them over his hand, whining at the lack of touch.

“Joel, please,” you mumbled, keeping your lips in tandem with his own. Joel grumbled out a reply you couldn’t discern before a hand made its way to your throat.

Joel pressed down on either side of your windpipe to deliver that sweet head rush of elation.

“I’ve got you, baby girl, I’ll take care of you.”

And that, he did. His hands moved with pure greed at your neck and pussy, sending two fingers up into your tight cunt. You cried out against his lips as he slowly pumped into you.

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let it all out.”

You were relieved you could make at least a little noise. It was better than it was at home, where you’d spent countless nights touching yourself, moaning against your hand or a nearby pillow.

But here… here you could cry out as Joel touched you. You could freely show him how good he was making you feel.

You let out a soft whine, but it was not well-received by Joel.

“I wanna hear you, baby.”

A louder moan drew from your throat. Joel’s fingers curled inside of you, pressing into the spongy part right past your entrance. Your walls fluttered gently around his fingers, pulling him in further.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” said Joel, still mumbling against your lips. You offered him a smile, proud that your body was to his liking. It was all you’d hoped for, to be perfect for him.

“Not sure how this little pussy’s gonna handle me, though,” he continued in a cocky voice. “But I think you could do it.”

He curled his fingers harshly, causing you to slur your words together. Something about Joel, and harder, and please.

“Such a good girl. Bet you’d take anything I gave you, huh?”

You nodded slightly, constricted under his grip to move any further.

Joel pushed his fingers deeper, picking up his pace until the wet sounds of your ravaged cunt filled the room. Your juices flowed from your pussy and onto his hand, leaking down from his fingers to his palm, pooling your sweet slick before it trickled to the floor below.

His pace became relentless, though the grip on your throat loosened. You let out a shuddering moan as he furiously pumped his fingers, making your cunt squelch with the most obscene sounds you’d ever heard.

“Attagirl,” Joel praised, “Just keep still. I gotcha.”

The reassuring tone kept you conflicted - it totally contrasted from what he was doing to your body.

Fuck, if this is how it was with just his hands alone, you silently prayed that you could handle what else he could give you.

There was a new tightness in your abdomen, pooling around in your sex, but it was a deeper sort of pressure you’d never felt. It felt like…

“Joel,” you protested, “I think I gotta pee.”

He laughed against your lips, “Just work with me here, darlin’.”

You squirmed on his hand as this new sensation spread through your pussy. This kind of pressure wasn’t something you could’ve gotten from your own hand, let alone any toy.

No, this was the masterful work of Joel Miller’s fingers, unraveling you around him.

He struck deeper, twisting his wrist to get a better angle, curling each thick digit against your sweet spot. You choked on a gasp as the pressure in your abdomen built, threatening to break apart.

With a flurry of swift motion the tension broke, and a beautiful symphony sounded - the rush of your juices that poured onto his hand, the strangled moan that fell from your slacked mouth, followed by the pleased groan Joel drew out.

“What… hah… was that..?” you panted. Joel kissed your cheekbone as he worked you through your high.

“Did I just… did I sq-“ you could barely make out the word.

“You did. And you did such a good job, sweet girl.”

The praise roiled through your gut. A soreness flooded through your sex, trailing toward your cervix. You swallowed nervously at the thought of anything bigger, and what it could do to your insides.

Joel slowed his pace and released the hand that had been trained to your neck. You both worked through your climax, coming down smoothly to where you now laid slumped against Joel’s chest.

His hands still roved over your skin, gently kneading your ass and thighs as you caught your breath.

“How you feelin’, honey?” his Southern drawl intoxicated his words with a sickly sweetness.

You pressed your face into the crook of his neck a let out a small, content mmm, taking in his scent. The mix of his cologne and sweat sent something possessive through you, to have this all for yourself. It felt too selfish for that pining to be one-sided - for you to want him as much as you did, without knowing if he held the same ferocity about you as you did him.

“Thirsty.”

“I bet. That’ll take a lot outta ya - let’s get a glass of water and getcha cleaned up.”

You worked your legs off of his thighs and stood shakily. After sitting in that awkward position and having your senses scrambled, your knees buckled beneath your weight, desperately trying to hold your quivering thighs steady.

“Hold on, sweetheart, I’ve gotcha,” Joel said, swiftly standing on steady feet. You pouted at the unfairness - his hands tore at your sex and left you trembling while he was perfectly fine.

“You better not laugh at me,” you snapped, though the drained tone in your words had Joel chucking slightly.

He held you steady with both hands and led you toward the kitchen, “You look like you got a hip replacement.”

“You’re nearing that age, aren’t you?” you quipped. Joel gave you a firm smack on your ass as his reply.

“Better watch it, I don’t do well with brats.”

hi y’all! thank you so much for reading and supporting, and happy Kinktober!

If you’re looking for the part 3 of this, it’s called Daddy’s Girl! I would love if you gave it a read

ily xoxo

#fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #dbf!joel #joel tlou #the last of us #tlou #bunny writes #kinktober #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #supernatural #pedro pascal

[i-suc-at-art]

DpxDc prompt #2

Full prompt from this idea

Tim and Danny are apart of an online RPG which is basically DND but anonymous and online. (it’s mainly for secret nerds who don’t have anyone irl to play with)

Danny plays as a changeling rogue who will often swipe things from players they don’t like

Tim plays a Variant Human, monk who wields a pole staff (my guy is not subtle) and will often give back the things danny (who’s known as wraith) (Tim goes by Scarlet Redpoll (mainly just Scarlet though)) stole

Rules of the RPG:

Everyone remains under their game handle (so there’s no doxing) NO REAL NAMES

You can interact with other parties who are using the same campaign as you, however when interacting with main story plot your party will go into its own private server

You can have a party of any size however it’s recommended to have a party over 4.. However you can make it with two or three or solo (but that’s just kinda sad..)

There is a chat feature and call feature in the game, however no hate speech, or bigotry

You can’t join a call unless your apart of the party

ofc this doesn’t stop it from happening but that’s not really relevant to the story

There are Dms (dungeon masters) but your team can also just use the computer for your Dm

Your character can be completely customized, and you’ll move around on a map

Ok now to the fun stuff

Danny and Tim (Wraith and Scarlet) have been playing together for about 3 months, and have made a commitment to play every 2 weeks on sunday (ghosts tend to take a break every 2 weeks on sundays (and B forced Tim to take a break from everything including cases every 2 weeks on sunday) Although sometimes each will get pulled away from the game and they’ll have to end early.

Anyways their campaign doesn’t super matter, only that they are online friends. Ok so one day Tim texts Wraith (they use online name bc y'know tim’s like uber famous) that he can’t make it to their session today bc his dad is forcing him to “bond” Aka he’s going to a gala with Bruce and Dick to stop a heist team that has been rampant across socialite and high society events. Wraith tells him it’s alright, and that coincidentally he’s busy too and was just about to cancel.

As Tim surveils everyone he curses Bruce for making him come. Tim had gotten into the habit of getting a night off from everything. He’d also not gotten a chance to do ample research on the guests beforehand because he’d been working on researching the thieves. He’d heard some chatter about the group looking into a possible haunted vahz, that was on display for the night. Tim had been surveying the party staying near the vahz making sure everyone checked out. Dick had texted saying that he’d cornered a possible thieving candidate and that he needed Tim to run an face ID check, on the picture he’d taken. The photo was of a young woman, her red hair caused Tim to think of Babs, but the woman’s simple teal evening dress couldn’t be further from her style. He’d done a quick search of the woman, she seemed to be some sort of rich young socialite, definitely Dicks type.. Her name was Kelly Jankins, no criminal history, or past arrests, she had a couple of parking tickets that were waved from her late teens. But nothing out of the ordinary. Tim texted Dick the information (save for the part about her being Dicks type) before stuffing his phone back into his pocket and moving from his post to go and get a drink. About 20 feet from his post he bumped into a nicely dressed guy, his hair black and suit tailored.. He also wore a Vladco pin on his left breast pocket.

He’d apologized and Tim told him it was no big deal, his eyes were blue.. But he could have sworn they were green when he first looked up. And his voice.. It sounded so familiar. Why did it sound familiar..?

As Tim walked away it hit him like a truck.. Wraith.

—————

Danny, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz had been stealing for some time now, after Danny had been outed as Phantom to the whole town by his parents. Him, Sam, and Tucker had decided to all leave Amity since all of their parents were unaccepting.. Sam’s parents had gone so far as to write her out of their will.. Danny had told her and Tuck to stay in Amity and fix their relationships with their family, but they’d both said ‘that if Danny wasn’t in Amity Park then they didn’t have their family.’ So they left. The three stayed with Jazz for a bit but she was a broke college student that barely had enough money for food and rent. So the three started stealing food.. It was out of necessity at first, and only from big companies, but when Sam got an online invitation to a big gala that was showing off some old artifacts from a rich guy’s private collection, Danny felt a pull toward a particular item from his core. The item belonged to someone in the ghost zone.. and he needed to have it. He needed to return it.

So they stole it. Danny was to be Sam’s plus one as he’s basically a haunted item metal detector. Sam would steal the item and Tuck would turn out the lights and secretly system. Then Danny would get him and Sam out of there. Most of their plans would be similar to this format. Sam would also grift from the other patrons, only stealing from the ones who seemed to have a shit ton of money. Eventually even teaching Danny how to do it too, she’d told him that ‘using his ghost powers were a cop out’ when he brought that up.. and that ‘anyone would be able to feel the chill of it.’ Which Danny was sure that that was untrue.. But he learned how to steal a wallet, or a phone Sam’s way.

Jazz had been against the thefts at first saying that all of these items belonged to the original owner. But soon she was persuaded when Danny told her that they were stealing stolen items. Stolen ghost items. Some of the items even had a ghost core attached to it. So Jazz became their planner, she’d make sure they’d have all the info they needed and that no one got caught.

Danny ends up in jail after being caught trying to lift someone’s wallet.. Jazz was there to legally get him out and pay the bail. Tucker got caught in a backroom of a place they were stealing from. ‘Oh yeah that’s her brother who would often get himself trapped in closets looking for the bathroom.. She apologizes profusely..’

So when Tucker had found their newest item, a haunted vase that had a shit ton of death and destruction attached to it, Jazz had thought up the plan. She’d heard whisperings that Vlad had gotten invited to the party but Danny was going to go in his place since Vlad would never go. Then they had a plan. A plan they were meant to stick to, until someone ran her face and Danny started being followed. So they abandoned the vase opting to get out of there instead of getting caught.

#danny phantom #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 author #dp fanfic #dpxdc #timxdanny #tim drake #deadtired #deadtiredship #danny fenton #lmk if you wanna be tagged #when i post the fic #ugg i love this idea so much #it’s killing me #i love them so much #also they are not subtle w their dnd characters #deadtired heist

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Alastor watching the princess and the frog by Disney ? It’s in lousiana in the 1920s so it would be perfect for him

absolutelyyyyyyy the princess and the frog is one of my fav disney movies from characters to soundtrack, so this one’s a bit longer. also kind of a part two but also not exactly

history ramble below

also i did some light research on new orleans history because if im gonna write alastor i should know. doggy i love me some history and this history is rich, depressing at times but also rich and meanful to know so i thought id share a little. from talking about the free the peoples movement, to the way women got their rights to their hair back that they didn’t have when enslaved only to have a law banning natural hair and hair wraps and so they decorated the wraps and used coloured fabrics effectively rendering the law useless, to the wealthiest black man of the 1870s for being a prospering business owner, the origins of how voodoo and other spiritual practices mingled perfectly with the pre established voodoo and how voodoo was predominantly black women who were highly respected, the first black man to be govoner in the united states in only 1871, a black woman named Rose Nicaud who opened the first coffee stand in 1800 and made enough to escape being ensalved. then there’s lighter topics like some of the jazz history and how it made various black stars like louie armstrong, and also how the language mingled to make the cajun french that’s sadly dying out, to the architecture that flourished through the varying clashes in culture between african, european, native and haitian peoples. if it’s not too upsetting to read i definitely suggest this page to have an insight on some of the quick history on new orleans, i enjoyed learning about the strength that many had during this time.

United teachers of new orleans < page i was reading

Warnings: jealous Al teehee, reader crushes on naveen and dr facilier (don’t mind me just projecting), cuddling, swearing, alastor doesn’t really know emotions good, fluffy banter, just some ushy gushy mushy tushy

Word count: 2k

The movie Bambi didn't even finish playing before the patrons started to filter out of the room heading to bed. First to go was Vaggie carrying a sleeping Charlie, Sir pentious promptly following along telling his fussy egg boys it was long past their bed time. Then it was Niftys turn to disappear, however she never said a goodnight only sped off leaving behind her vacant swishing rocking chair.

Then once Angel and Husk left, you had decided to just call it quits on Bambi, Alastor hadn't moved much or objected to you turning off the movie, only watching the projector as you scrolled through the app.

You stopped on the princess and the frog, grinning toward Alastor he sighed, getting a glimpse of your mischief from the corner of his eye. "Now what's this about darling?" Turning your body towards his fully facing him, you waited for his gaze to finally meet yours, and reluctantly it did. "Allow me to introduce you to one of, if not, thee best disney movies of all time; the princess and the frog," Alastor's finger rose as he took a breath to speak, but before he could say a word you interrupted him.

"Yes I know princess yuck, whatever Al. It takes place in New Orleans, its main focus is actually in the poorer area with the shotgun houses, and throughout the movie Tiana, the princess, travels through the bayou, oh! With Naveen one of the hottest princes, also it takes place in the twenties, oh!-" Before you could continue Alastor gently gripped your cheeks, your lips puckering involuntarily as he did so."What did you just?"

"Takes place in the nineteen twenties?" You asked, voice muffled from Alastors grip on your cheeks. "Before that dear." Your eyebrows raised looking at Alastor not trying to hide your confusion. "Naveen? One of the hottest princes?" Alastor hummed, booping your nose. "Yes dear, that."

"Yeah. duh dude he's one of the few princes that deserve the princess, he changes for Tiana, he's charismatic, funny, but nevermind that back to what i was saying. There's varying New Orleans culture littered through that might make you feel closer to home, all the music is jazz obviously." Opening your mouth readying to rant on about the Voodoo man that you adored, Alastor hushed you with his finger up to your lips.

"My sweet dear, I will watch this silly picture show so long as you stop rambling about it." Alastor wasn't truly done with hearing your rambling, he was enjoying hearing that you were such a fan of something that centred so close to home when it came to him however if he was going to watch it he rather not have it spoiled.

Giddily you clasped your hands together and hit play, your love for the film and excitement to see Alastors reaction may have made you slightly over enthusiastic just a bit. As the movie began you curled your feet up onto the couch, inching yourself closer to Alastor looking up to his face and back to the movie.

When Naveen got introduced on screen you accidentally gripped Alastors arm tightly shaking him. "My mannn~" You squealed happily, letting go of Alastor once you heard the unmistakable rattle come from him, a growl sounding out of his chest. You didn't pay much attention to him though, instead turning back to the projector and backing off Al. However Alastor wasn't too frustrated with the fact you touched him, but because you were being so ushy gushy over some fake man.

He was easily the same if not better than Naveen. Alastor was charismatic, charming, he could sing, play instruments, he didn't quite understand why you were so particularly interested in this Naveen. Hell, even Alastor had a similar outfit back when he was alive, he could've been Naveen when he was alive.

You didn’t notice Alastor having a mini tantrum in his own world, you were too engrossed in the movie. Suddenly you’ve gripped him again, pointing at the screen. "The shadow man, Al this is your kin!" You egged laughing maniacally at your own words.

Alastor’s face however brightened at the display of the voodoo man. "One of my fav songs." You whispered as Dr. Facilier began singing on screen. Cocking his head to the side Alastor looked down to you bouncing along to the song. "This fellow sounds similar to Husk." Alastor mentioned, watching intently at the shadows that crawled around Dr. Faciliers room, much like Alastors own shadows. "Yeah it really does sound like Husk. Strange, anyways, Dr. Voodoos hot too." Alastors static buzzed around the room and you had to hold back a giggle at the frustrated look on his face, despite the smile it was obvious he wasn't too happy.

"What's up Al, not liking the movie?" Static crackled around the two of you as you questioned him a little slyly as you could tell he wasn’t hating the movie. “No dear, it’s pleasant in comparison to some things i’ve grit myself through, however,” He paused watching you ogle at both the Dr and Naveen. “I can’t understand what’s so great about this Naveen you like. He’s a fool,” You scoffed at Alastors distaste for Naveen, you didn’t mean to make him feel frustrated at your adoration for the characters but it was endearing to see.

“What’s not to like about the man?” You state confidently but Alastor simply shrugged while humming indifferently. A beat of silence passed, the ending of the song playing out of the projector. “It’s just that,” Alastor started up again after a moment of silence, turning his body to face you hands folded in his lap politely. “You clearly have the odd reaction towards these gentlemen and I can't see why,” To give him credit he did look genuinely confused, and just as you were going to speak up he interrupted.

“And please do not say it’s because he is funny, charismatic, musically talented or sweet because I happen to hold all those same qualities!” He finished, hands thrown in the air like he said something especially spectacular. You had a soft smile present on your face watching him work through the sentence theatrically. “Well, Al you are, maybe i think the same about you?” Record scratch.

You cackled at his frozen state, patting his arm gently, cooing that you were only kidding, you turned back to the TV and the two of you decided to leave it at that.

Later on in the movie, when Tiana and Naveen are with the alligator going down the bayou singing about being human, you stared over at Alastor, your heart thumping at the sight of him. His arms were resting along the back of the couch, legs splayed out comfortably, posture sunken in, and his eyes lidded with a closed calm smile. His ear twitched and soon his eyes moved from the movie to you, quirking a questionable eyebrow at you.

Feeling slightly embarrassed for eyeing him up you tried to play it off by asking him a question. “Is there bayous in New Orleans, is that real?” You ask kinda dumbly, of course they were, you scolded yourself. Alastor didn’t seem to mind though he smiled widely, a chuckle reverberating out of him. “Why yes dear! Of course, I personally never lived close to the bayou, but it surrounds New Orleans, and I have been. It’s quite beautiful during a sunset but there’s tons of alligators.”

You leaned forward interested, but it seemed he’d stopped to refocus on the screen which you wouldn’t complain about. You not so discreetly leaned into his torso, arm still on the back of the sofa behind you, and thankfully he didn’t move when you leaned your body into him, instantly decompressing into his side.

They got to the scene where the gang is on the boat going through the bayou, the crocodile fitting in and playing jazz, when you turned to look up at Alastor seeing him already looking down at you. “What’s up?” You asked, watching as he scanned your face. “Well dear you’re just reminding me of home tonight, it would’ve been interesting to be able to show you where I lived, where I worked. Y’know when i did radio, most people didn’t know what I looked like so it came as quite a shock to some that I wasn’t what they imagined. Some were cruel, but my mother always taught me to be respectable if not respectful, so I managed to keep my grace.”

You giggle at his explanation watching him move his hand in all different directions, the radio host coming into play just at the mention of his job. “I’m flattered you would’ve wanted to show me your home n stuff, i wish it were possible.”

On the projector in front of you two, was the scene between Naveen and Tiana’s first date, where Naveen was going to propose. “They always get married so fast in these movies, you spend three days as a frog and suddenly it’s eternity!” You exclaimed humorously, Alastor scoffed an array of instrumental sounds electronically sounding out from him. “My dear it was common back in the day to get married quick, none of this lollygagging.”

You rolled your eyes blowing out air. “Would you get married to someone you knew for three days?” Alastor hummed, tapping his finger against his chin in exaggerated thought. “If it were you, perhaps, otherwise i’d attempt to lengthen it just a bit.” He reviled in the sight of you bashfully turning your head away, shy at his broad flirt. “You’d marry me, after only three days?” You questioned in disbelief, he hummed wrapping the arm he once had behind you, around you pulling you into him.

“Well I found you to be quite a treat the first day i met you, and decided i wanted to be around you for many days on. Is that not marriage worthy?” This confession shocked you slightly. You never expected him to say that he preemptively planned your blooming friendship nevermind that he equated that to being worth marriage. The movie played on in the background as you both watched each other’s faces.

“To me, dear,” Alastor started a smug smile stretching across his cheeks replacing the calm smile that stayed for so long. “It seems like you may unconsciously feel something towards me too.” Jaw dropping you stared at him confused. “What?” You scoff but Alastor only looked smugger.

“Come now, New Orleans centred movie? Jazz, cooking, even that dumbo man Naveen speaks french loves jazz music and dancing, oh and of course the ever so obvious voodoo, it’s almost like this movie is me, haha.” He laughed manically, eyes crossing as his body shook. It was quite the egotistical assumption on his part, but he wasn’t wrong.

You put it on for him but it seems for you too, you paid more attention to him half the movie, and you’ve been more interested in knowing real life facts about his home during his time then what story the movie was trying to tell. Maybe he was right, but even so what did him pointing it out accomplish? “Well that’s why i wanted to show you it, it’s got many aspects you’re involved with in it.”

You mentally gave yourself a pat on the back for such a good save, however Alastor was keen and knew you long enough to catch your lies. “Sure dear, sure.” Al gave you a condescending pat on the head and you speedily swatted at him. The movie played on you once more captivated by Alastor’s reactions more than the movie itself, you’ve already watched it enough to know.

Tucked under Alastor’s arm, warm and comfy, you barely caught the sound of Alastor huffing out chuckles, gazing up towards the projection you playfully hit him. “Don’t laugh at his death!” That only made Alastor properly laugh, dropping his head back, neck cracking grossly. “My dear it was a lightning bug in love with a star! He got stepped on that was hilarious!”

Sounds of prerecorded laughter sounded out with his natural laugh, you didn’t actually care that he found it funny, only pretended too as you gave him a disapproving glare. As the movie closed in you felt a weird gloom wash over you, it was nice being alone with him by his side while you two relaxed. You didn’t want it ending, but alas Tiana and Naveen kissed turning them human, with the reveal that with marrying Naveen, she became a princess effectively breaking the curse, and the movie started with the end song.

“Well dear I did enjoy that, the voodoo was pretty boringly unrealistic, but it’s for children. I did enjoy the mentioning of foods, very common dishes even I enjoy, like gumbo. But alas it was still a pathetic little movie about mortal love.” Standing to his feet when he finished speaking, Alastor dusted himself off and snapped his fingers making all around you revert to what it was before movie night.

“Do you not want to be in love?” You ask softly partly hoping he didn’t hear you as by the time you stood from your spot, you regret saying it. “Well I certainly haven’t looked. Why disappointed?” Alastor bent himself backwards to look at you since you stood behind him readying to exit. Looking down into his eyes you felt hazy, maybe a little drunk on desire as you gently caressed his cheek. “Maybe I am,”

“Darling.” Alastor said sternly as he cracked himself upward, he bent down facing you this time and before he could talk you once again interrupted. “Can’t blame me can you?” Alastor seemed momentarily taken aback, gazing around lazily trying to collect his thoughts. “My dear, I'm uncertain with emotions like this as well as expressing them, love is foolish, however… if you were to tell me ‘i love you’ i would say it back.”

It confused you, what Alastor said, you couldn’t tell if he was mocking you and telling you he was going to lie about his emotions to spare you, or if he was egging you on attempting to get you to tell him your true feelings. Regardless you swallowed down any worries for the future instead focusing only on the now, and looked deeply into the soft red glow of his eyes.

“I love you Al,” With a cheeky smile you watched him stutter, the visible shock was clear, and you wondered if he actually expected you to say that. Just as you began to worry you fucked up, he bent down to your height. “I love you too my dear,” And with that he gave you the chastised kiss on the lips, before standing to his full height materialising his microphone. “Got to go dear! Duty calls!” And with that he seemingly disappeared into the shadows, leaving you to waddle tiredly to your room. Little did you know that Alastor whisked himself away to have a minor panic attack in the safety of his radio tower, not believing himself and his broad actions, nor could he believe the pounding in his chest and flutter in his heart.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oneshots #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel alastor x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader fluff #alastor the radio demon

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Vivzepops fetishization of queer men and the lack of Sapphic content in HH and HB

I found it a bit dissapointing that Charlie and Vaggie had very little interactions that could be read as romantic or sexual, especially since they are the supposedly the main couple of Hazbin Hotel and have been together the longest out of most of the couples in HH and HB.

Of course having more casual representation is also fine but the most memorable thing about their relationship was the quickly resolved argument they had when Charlie found out about Vaggies past. I've seen different opinions about how they were handled as a pair.

I understand when someone says that they enjoyed a more relaxed couple with subtle, realistic interactions, interactions that are often overlooked just because both characters are female.

But I can also agree, that they were really not a stand-out couple (wich is weird since Charlie is the main Character) and that it was a bit dissapointing to not see a lot of content for them.

Now the main issue I found with this is that in Vivzepops stories there is a definitive lack of sapphic content. It sometimes seems like women are sexless unless they are with a man. But two men can be sexual and openly affectionate (romantically too). At first I didn't really understand why I felt weird about Chaggie as a couple, so I looked at all the implied/canon ships in Helluva and Hazbin (including past relationships).

Implied/canon couples between a man and a woman:

-Millie and Moxxie

-Blitzø and Verosika

-Stolas and Stella

-Millie and Chaz

-Beelzebub and Vortex

-Sir Pentious and Cherry Bomb

-Adam and Lute

-Lucifer and Lilith

Implied/canon couples between two men:

-Stolas and Blitzø

-Asmodeus and Fizzarolli

-Moxxie and Chaz

-Angel Dust and Husk

-Vox and Valentino

Implied/canon couples between two women:

-Charlie and Vaggie

Now please tell me if I missed any, but these were the ones I could think of.

Honorable mentions include Loona & Vortex, Blitzø & Striker, Blitzø & Chaz and Blitzø & Fizzarolli. But I didn't put these on there because they're either one-sided or don't have enough romantic content.

Now it's very easy to see the difference between representation for queer men in comparison to queer women in these shows. The only relevant (im not counting Background characters) Sapphic relationship there is, is Chaggie. And it's completely underrepresented when compared to the content the man x woman or man x man ships get (not to mention the total absence of gender-queer characters).

One of Millie's and Moxxie's jokes is that they're so in love, that they're almost always cuddling, holding hands, talking sweet or just straight up making out with eachother (I'll talk about Millie a bit later). Sir Pentious had multiple scenes dedicated to him trying to confess to Cherry Bomb or just crushing on her in general.

Stolas' and Blitzø's relationship has become one of the main topics of Helluva Boss and they get a Backstory and explicit aswell as dramatic scenes for them as a couple. The same goes for Asmodeus and Fizzarolli (except that their love isn't as important). Angel Dust and Husk get a song and part of an episode for their relationship to develop.

Here i'd also have to mention that by the list I made Vivzepop's fetish for queer men is very prevalent. Most of the couples between men and women are either past relationships or they get very little attention to them. The only ships that often get special focus, development or explicitly romantic/sexual focus are ships with two men (no matter if their dynamics are even good, healthy etc.).

Now for Millie there are different ways you could talk about her situation with relationships. In general I think that everyone can agree that Millie lacks Character and is a good representation for the neglect of the female characters. Most of her moments revolve around Moxxie in a way and she hasn't had precise characterization so far.

Millie's relationship with Moxxie is sweet and simple and is generally one of the better things about Helluva Boss (if you ignore Millies lack of personality wich really pulls the couple down for me). Now the Episode "Exes and Oohs" shows the mutual Ex of Millie and Moxxie. Chaz dated both of them and as we see in the episode affected both of them very negatively. At the start we literally see Millie freak out and destroy a bunch of stuff, just because she saw Chaz on the street.

Yet Millie's relationship with him is never explored further. All we know is that she dislikes him and that he's a giant asshole. Whereas Moxxie get's a whole Backstory and episode plot about him and Chaz. No focus is given to Millie at all even though Chaz is the ex of BOTH of them.

Another thing that I wanna point out is Millie's possible Bisexuality. Now im not so sure for this point because I couldn't find genuine confirmation on wether Millie is actually confirmed to be Bisexual or if it's just a headcannon. So take this with a grain of salt BUT if Millie is Bisexual then she perfectly shows how little Vivzepop cares about Sapphic representation. What does Moxxie get to confirm him as Bisexual? An ex of the same gender (also multiple explicit flashbacks with him), a whole discussion about his queer identity and a scene where he literally says that he's Bisexual. Moxxie is pretty good Bisexual representation in that regard.

What does Millie get? Nothing. Again I don't know if she's genuinely also Bisexual or if it's ever been confirmed but it'd also be pretty weird if Vivzepop apparently cares so much about queer representation and then doesn't confirm any female characters as actually queer.

I think a lot of people have talked about her blatant fetishization of queer men and I think that that's also mainly why I feel weird by the lack of attention on Vaggie and Charlie as a couple.

I sorta wish I could enjoy a more toned-down and realistic couple in these shows, but when I see that a ship like Vox and Alastor (wich isn't canon nor would it even happen since Alastor is Aroace) is talked about more than the actual main character's relationship I just don't like it.

There's so much more you could say about poor queer representation by Vivzepop (like the fact that she's fine with people ignoring Alastors Aroace identity, and the stereotypes etc) I mainly wanted to talk about the neglect of her female cast in terms of sexuality.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #helluva boss #vivzepop critical #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva boss millie #helluva boss critical

[authorhjk1]

A request for Sana's delicious tiddies please!

https://www.instagram.com/p/C0dZRXrvuyU/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

The Roman goddess

Minatozaki Sana X Male Reader

The museum you are strolling through is called Castel Sant' Angelo. It used to be tomb for the Roman Emperor Hadrian and his family. Now, it's a very well known museum in Rome.

You admire the architecture and the sculptures standing around. The ceilings are quite high. All the walls are painted, the gorgeous colors bringing the ancient scenes to life.

You are not only here for fun though. It started around two years ago. Your career as an author. Until December two years ago, you did write, but it was more for yourself. You finally made your breakthrough with your first novel "The Roman eagle", about a lowly born Roman legionary, who rises through the ranks. You never thought this would make you big. And you didn't expect so many people wanting more. You didn't plan on it, but that one book is slowly turning into a series.

The second book came out at the end of last year. "The curse of Neptune". And now, you are working on your third. Since you didn't plan on writing a series, you have started to introduce several main characters with their own life stories.

You are now sitting on your third part. Not having a title yet, you keep wandering around the museum. You have already written quite a few pages, but the new character you want to introduce is hard to picture. It's supposed to be a woman. A woman, who is deceitful and ambitious, not caring about the ones around her. She only married her husband for his status and is now aspiring to climb the ranks. With or with out him.

You enter another room. The ceiling is high as well. The painted scenes show several different parts of day to day life from the Romans and their gods. The center of the room is reserved for a tall, almost life-size statue. Being an expert in history, especially Roman history, you can tell immediately that that's Venus. The goddess of love.

Wanting to have a closer look, you step forward. But your gaze is caught by the woman who is standing between you and the piece of art, her back turned towards you.

Her posture is flawless and you can't help but admire how straight her back looks, due to the white high heels she is wearing. The black skirt is quite long, almost reaching the floor. As you walk past her right, you see that it has a large slit in the front. Her naked leg is more than just captivating.

Glancing at the statue, you've always wondered how Venus would look like, if she was real. It feels like you might be able to paint a picture now.

The woman's white top is highlighting her chest, the fabric stretching over her tits. The turtle neck and the tied back hair make her look elegant and strict. Like a teacher or a rich man's wife.

Standing next to her, you smell her scent. Definitely flowers. Maybe roses? You were never the flower expert. Would Venus smell like this too? Roses are always considered the flowers of love. The idea doesn't seem too far fetched.

You notice that the young woman is standing quite close to the statue, holding a brochure in her hand. Usually, knowing about history isn't really a great turn on for women. But being in a museum, you might give it a try. She does have that classy look. So maybe she could be interested?

"Art and war should always be studied from a healthy distance."

You see her react. Not her face, since you are still standing two steps behind her, but the slight turn of her head. You could swear the corners of her mouth turned upwards, before she turns back towards the statue.

One step. Two steps. Her heels disrupt the silence in the otherwise empty room.

"A lot of people think that Venus and Aphrodite are the same goddess."

You were able to take a quick peek at the brochure she is holding. The people who work here should do a better job.

"But they have quite a couple of differences."

You wait a couple of moments. She doesn't say something or turns around. But she didn't run, which is at least a good start.

"While Aphrodite is the goddess of love, beauty and sex, Venus has to offer more than just that."

You walk behind the young woman, starting to feel comfortable, talking about a topic you are very familiar with.

"She actually started out as the goddess of gardens and vineyards. Before the Romans merged her with her Greek counterpart. And even then, she represents not just lust and sex. But also motherhood. You could say that she is a more loyal woman."

You glance at the woman, whom you are standing next to now. Her left side profile almost makes you stutter. She really must be a goddess.

Knowing that you might never meet someone like her ever again, you decide to shoot your shot. What's the worst that could happen? She could scream and run away. But it's only the two of you anyway.

"Which form is the one you can more easily identify with? The Roman, or the Greek one?"

You stand next to her, your shoulders almost touching. Turning your head towards her you almost whisper.

"Loyal? Or promiscuous?"

A smirk plays around the brunette's lips. She is not running yet.

But to your huge disappointment, she raises her right arm, her hand on the same hight as her chest. You are only distracted for a second, before you see the golden ring on her finger. It's decorated with a huge diamond in the center and a couple of smaller ones all around.

Of course she is married. A woman like her? Come on. You sigh internally. You should've figured.

"Promiscuous."

You were about to turn around as you hear her sweet voice. It takes you a second to realize what she says.

"I think I would be more like Aphrodite."

Is she saying you still have a shot? Even when she just showed you that she is married?

"Tell me more. I'm not sure if I can make a decision yet."

And she wants you to keep talking?

You take a deep breath, not wanting to screw this up.

"Venus has a more elevated status than Aphrodite. Her arguably most famous human son is Aeneas. The man who established Rome. A lot of emperors' wifes identified with Venus."

You see the woman tug a strand of her brown hair behind her ear.

"And you are saying that the Greek form wasn't as important?"

It's the first time she actually looks at you. Her beautiful features make her look way more elegant than from the side. Her lipstick makes her look stricter than she might usually would. You can tell that she is Asian, but not from which country.

"She was important. But not in the same way as Venus. She did have her own celebrations though."

The brunette is now fully turning towards you. It takes a lot of willpower to not look at her chest. It's almost as if she could sense your struggle. She places her hands on her hips, barely leaning forward. It makes her tits look just a little bigger.

"What kind of celebration?"

Her voice has changed. Until now, she spoke quiet. Just like someone should, while visiting a museum. But she is now whispering. Just like you did before. Her captivating gaze makes you stare into her eyes.

"A big part of the celebrations were Aphrodite's priestesses. The Greeks used a suiting form of worship for the goddess of love."

You take a step closer. Your shoe grazes hers. The smell of roses becomes a little stronger.

"They slept with her priestesses. That's how they worshipped her."

The brunette is unable to hold back her chuckle.

"And you are sure you didn't just make that up?"

For a moment her cute side shines through. She looks adorable when she smiles.

"I didn't. You can look it up."

"I don't want to though. I like listening to you."

"Well..."

You are too surprised to give a good answer. And there is not much more to say about the topic anyways.

The brunette seems to have caught up on that.

"What do you think about worshiping her now?"

"What?"

Your surprised face makes her almost moan out. You looked quite confident while hitting on her. The fact that you are getting shy is a turn on for her.

"There aren't many people here. And I think we should do it in front of the statue. You know? To pay our respects."

A million reasons why you shouldn't do this rush through your head. More than enough to say no. And yet, you can't help but catch yourself, leaning forward.

Your lips meet and you can immediately feel her hands wrap around your back. The kiss turns sloppy very fast. Pure lust and want radiate from her lips.

Once she breaks away, you can see that her lipstick is a little smeared. She seems to have recognized the worry in your eyes.

"Don't worry about my husband. Didn't Aphrodite constantly cheat on hers too?"

She got a point there. She did very much so.

Her lips meet yours once again. And this time your hands start to explore her body as well.

You still can't believe you've managed to come this far. She is probably the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. She could be the human form of the goddess.

"How bad do you want my tits?"

The fact that she caught you doesn't even bother you. Your mind too focused on taking in her flawless body.

"Really bad."

Her lips meet your neck, definitely leaving a hickey there.

"Show me."

You start pulling at the white fabric, getting it out of her skirt. Your hands dive underneath as the brunette locks lips with you again.

The smoothness of her skin is intoxicating. Her tight midriff feels well toned and cared for. Your fingertips reach her bra as you continue your quest.

Her hands are not idle either. You feel one of them opening the button of your pants, while the other has taken a fistful of your shirt. It's as if she is pulling you into her. Her hand sneaks into your pants, her fingers searching for the waistband of your underwear.

At the same time, you've finally gotten rid of her bra. It slides down her clothed frame, before it falls to the ground. It's white.

Her tits feel amazing. They are just as smooth as her skin. You start to knead them, still unable to understand how you got here.

She is a goddess. How are you able to stand in some museum, while you play with her tits? A mystery you don't even want to uncover. Some things are better left unknown.

The brunette's hand has found it's way into your boxers by now. Her slim fingers dance along the length of your shaft.

A moan escapes her lips. It's one of the most beautiful sounds you've ever heard. You didn't know that a person could sound so perfect.

"That cock of yours...."

She trails off, slightly biting your lower lip.

"It feels so big."

Her words make you even harder. A normal reaction to a goddess like beauty telling you that you have a big dick. Something you thought you would never ever experience in your life.

Your hands become a little rougher as your animalistic instincts slowly take over. You never felt so uncontrollable before.

Pinching her nipples, you hope for another moan. You get one. She moans into your mouth, closing her hand around your cock.

"I want this in my mouth."

You feel her pulling away. Your hands regretfully leave her tits and her top. But when she starts to kneel down, a wave of pure happiness washes through your body.

An excited tingle rushes through every fiber of your being as you watch her pulling down your pants. Your boxers following quickly after.

A gasp escapes her mouth, when she sees your cock for the first time.

"My husband isn't even half as big."

With a big smile, her face turns into something very cute. She gives your tip a kiss.

"A cock worthy of fucking my tits."

Her words turn you on even more. Her lips slowly wrap around your tip.

It takes her a while to pick up the pace. But once the brunette is there, her blowjob is quick and effective. You remember that you are still in a museum, standing pants down in front of a statue of Venus.

You are not a very religious person. But in that moment, you pray to that goddess, thanking her for this incredible experience.

Your prayer is interrupted by the brunette's slurping sounds. Her wet blowjob has ruined her lipstick completely by now. She looks so hot with your cock in her mouth. She places both her hands flat on your hips, before starting to fuck her face onto your cock.

You can't help but let out a loud groan, your hand automatically wanders to the back of her head. You don't start to dictate the pace. But you feel her head going a little faster.

With a woman like her, it's obvious that you won't last long. Especially if said woman fucks her face with your cock. You feel your orgasm approaching. The familiar tug in your lower regions makes you groan.

The brunette seems to have felt you twitch inside her mouth. She moves away, letting your dick fall out off her lips.

"You have a very delicious cock, you know?"

Not waiting for an answer, she starts to pull up her top. It's bunched up above her breasts. You are finally able to see them now. They seem perfectly shaped. Flawless like the ones of a goddess. Not too small, but not too big either. Just perfect handfuls.

"Try not to cum so fast."

Her wink turns her into something cute for just a moment. Then, her goddess like aura is back.

You feel her soft mounds wrap around you. She presses them together, making your cock disappear between them. As soon as she seems ready, you start to thrust upwards. You see her bite her lip as your tip appears in her cleavage.

Fucking her tits feels amazing. It feels better than anything you've experienced before. There is no comparison at all. Her soft mounds feel like they are made for you. Her warmth makes you feel hot and horny.

Eventually, she starts to stick out her tongue. It touches your tip whenever you thrust upwards. The new wetness on your tip makes you remember that your orgasm is close. It also helps with sliding trough her chest.

You have to hold onto her hair again, unable to stand by yourself.

"Your cock feels so good."

You hear her sigh as she stares down at it.

She suddenly looks up, opening her mouth, while sticking her tongue out. Her spit slowly starts to drip down her tongue. You watch as she drools all over her own cleavage. Her saliva starts to coat your cock. It makes her tits feel even smoother.

The young woman let's out another moan.

"I bet you would feel so good in my pussy."

You close you eyes, imagining yourself inside of her. The thought alone, almost makes you orgasm.

"My husband is so small, I'm practically a virgin."

She continues her talking, knowing what it does to you.

"I've never felt the pleasure of someone just pounding into me. I want to feel it. I want to feel how you rearrange my guts."

You hiss out, unable to silence the pleasure that is building up in your system. Only a little longer. You only want to hold out a little longer.

"I have such a tight pussy. You would love it."

Your grip in her hair strengthens as you approach your climax.

"That's it. Cum on my tits. Make Venus proud."

You glance at the statue for just a second. It feels like the woman on her knees is the real goddess. A beauty, too much for you to handle.

"I'm gonna cum."

You grunt out, unable to hold on any longer.

"That's good, honey. Cum on my tits. Use them like a canvas."

You groan one last time.

"Give me all of it."

You explode in her cleavage. Your cum hits her throat and chin, while some coats her tits. It feels like this is the strongest orgasm you've ever had. More cum than usual leaves your body.

In the end, her tits are covered in your semen, just like she wanted. Some is dripping down her chin. You see that her hands didn't get away without some, either. A few drops of your cum stain the big diamond on her ring. She notices it as well.

You watch in awe as she starts to lick her ring clean, after letting your spent cock leave her tits.

"Wow. That's a great load."

She scoops up some of your cum with her finger.

"And it tastes good, too."

She licks it off, before looking at you.

"What do you say? Right here? Or a hotel room?"

The option to say no doesn't even enter your brain. Still afraid of getting caught, you choose the hotel.

The brunette gets off her knees. You watch her pull her top down and putting the hem back into her skirt. Slowly, your cum starts to leave wet spots on the fabric. You pick up her bra, offering it to her.

"Keep it. Maybe you are lucky and you can complete the set."

With those words still lingering in your mind, she takes your hand, leading you towards the exit.

You've never head a clear picture of Venus or Aphrodite in your mind. Now you do. It's the woman who is holding your hand, her chest covered with your cum.

The fact that she is taking you to a hotel is making you hard again.

With one last glance at the statue, you finally know how to continue your next book.

The third part "The Roman goddess" will certainly become a bestseller.

________

Thank you for the ask. I unfortunately don't have the time to write much more.

The introduction seems a little long to me. Please keep sending short requests guys, I'm trying to shorten the part where I set the scene. With limited success as you can see.

Sana in that outfit definitely deserves a proper story, which I'm unable to write at the moment. I hope you are satisfied with that. I might be able to write the follow up somewhere in the future.

Have a nice day!

#kpop #kpop smut #anon #kpop girls #ask #kpop gg #male reader #sana minatozaki #sana #twice #sana twice #sana smut #twice smut

[tossawary]

I finished Volume 3 of SVSSS, which encompasses the main story, and currently have my bookmark sitting at the first chapter of the Airplane Extras in Volume 4. I took a bunch of quote pics but have yet to review them and add thoughts.

Every time I read SVSSS, I forget how... incredible... the inside of Shen Yuan's head is. He's fascinating.

Like, he's misogynistic (even while criticizing Airplane's own misogynistic writing), he's homophobic, AND he's transphobic. Not in a way where I think he thinks anyone deserves fewer rights than anyone else (I think he's generally a nice person, although, holy shit, I would not trust this man to craft policy of any kind) or would prevent anyone from living however they chose to live, a lot of his problematic bullshit stays inside his own head as he tries to understand the world around him using the stallion novel formulas he was given, but he's carrying around SO MUCH unexamined bias that supports his refusal to examine himself and his own desires.

Some of it reads (presumably intentionally) a LOT like the kind of conflicting, problematic bullshit a lot of queer people carry around inside their heads as they struggle to untangle themselves and their beliefs.

And while I do wish that Shen Yuan had been forced to confront and address his misogyny and transmisogyny even further than it does come up (in part because it is DEFINITELY affecting the way he thinks about gay men as well, including and especially Binghe), I do kind of... appreciate on some level that he thinks this way? From a character standpoint? Because I think it's probably realistic for a privileged young man spending a lot of time on the internet reading shit like PIDW to look at the world this way. And it's clear even through his own narration that his blindness in certain areas is causing him a lot of trouble. While I do have criticisms and personal wishes, I do appreciate the depiction of personal character development that is just... a cringeworthy mess of internalized bullshit the whole fucking time.

Also, it's SO funny to me that he reads as SO aro-ace-spectrum to me (probably gay, but generally detached from sexuality and possibly also partially from gender) AND he actually knows... the word asexual, I don't think he has a very broad understanding of asexuality... but he knows the word and yet doesn't personally identify that way. He mentally accuses both Luo Binghe (main story, before finding out Binghe is into him) and Liu Qingge (Succubus Extra) of being asexual for showing no interest in women, only to fail to reflect on how he ALSO demonstrably has no lasting personal interest in the women around them, which doesn't read as very genuine to me.

(EDIT: Again, I am not against a bisexual Shen Yuan interpretation either! I am willing to be persuaded by any author who wishes to tell a particular story. But Shen Yuan's attraction towards women often reads personally to me as very shallow and possibly insincere.)

"I willingly read PIDW, that proves I'm straight!" he sincerely thinks to himself, even though his favorite wife is the one without explicit sex scenes and he also admits to skipping over a lot of them.

"I'm able to tell when women are beautiful, that makes me straight!" thinks the guy who mentally censors nudity whenever demon women lose their clothes, and keeps telling us how "the average reader" of PIDW would react to these beautiful women instead of conveying his own attracted reactions. His actual reactions are generally centered on a woman's narrative significance. The only people he personally seems to find attractive are Luo Binghe and maybe Liu Qingge.

Though my interpretation was that he does probably experience sexual arousal and have a sex drive (see his username), which probably helps with his conviction of straightness, I'm not sure that there's any mention of Shen Yuan even masturbating at all in the entire main story of SVSSS? He never tried to hook up with anyone. Sex is apparently not a priority for him.

(EDIT: He does seem to enjoy sex with Binghe in the "Bing-mei vs. Bing-ge" Extra. He loves Binghe and likes the closeness and the physical pleasure. I appreciate the indication that they're working on moving on from the AWFUL intercourse pushed by Xin Mo's possession and possibly also the System's Scenario Pusher.)

And Shen Yuan seems to view women as being and behaving Fundamentally Differently from men and gay men as behaving Fundamentally Differently from straight men (as soon as he learns Binghe is into him, he thinks about how Binghe isn't behaving like the characters in his sister's gay, non-con, BDSM erotica novels), seeing everything through the lens of novel tropes, such that he seems to view sex and sexuality and gender as being deeply mixed with a person's personality. So he can't be a gay man, because he's too "Normal", in his mind at first, because he doesn't behave like his own mental image of "How Gay Men Behave" (or "How Women Behave / A PIDW Wife Behaves"), while also demonstrably not being anything like "the average reader" of PIDW and also apparently not caring too much about his own masculinity? Like, I do think he likes being the gentleman scholar of Qing Jing Peak, he does like appearing dignified and strong and cool, he doesn't like losing, he doesn't really like playing "damsel in distress" roles, and I do think he likes being gallant towards women, but he's not too concerned about seriously competing with figures like Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge? He's happy enough to back down and let someone else take the lead if necessary. He puts up with being put into the roles of female leads even if it embarrasses him and he rolls with the punches to his pride easily enough. He seems to have decided his Sexuality By Default, so it does make me have a lot of thoughts about whether or not he's potentially going with Gender By Default / Convenience as well.

Someone get this man some amateur and academic literature on gender and sexuality (and a lot of other stuff), stat, so he can ignore it, probably.

#tossawary svsss #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #tossawary rereads svsss #shen yuan versus asexuality fic

[princessmisery666]

Just Don't Say You Love Me

Summary: Dean believes you have a good thing going. When you tell him your moving on, he realizes he needs to reassess the relationship and his life before it’s too late.

Warnings/Genres/Troupes: angst, miscommunication, unrequited love, friends with benefits, implied smut, Dean doesn’t get a happy ending. 

W/C: 4,776.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Jody Mills, Sam Winchester. 

Pairing: Dean x fem!reader (you - no descriptions of body type or ethnicity).

Bingo: @jacklesversebingo Square Filled: Just Please Don’t Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Alpin.

A/N: I tried to fix the angst, but it’s not happening, so the unhappy ending will remain (for now). Special shoutout to @kazsrm67 and @pink-sparkly-witch for helping and offering words/comments of encouragement.

Betas: @deanwinchesterswitch // all mistakes remain my own. 

Graphics: made by be on canva. Dividers by @talesmaniac89

Master Lists: JAcklesVerseBingo / Dean Winchester / Main

You knock on Jody’s door, taking a deep breath to calm yourself, some residual adrenaline still playing havoc with your nerves. It’s been a long and insightful day. 

Dean opens the door with a smile, but it quickly morphs into an appreciative grin as his eyes travel the length of your body. “Wow,” he says, “who knew all that was hiding under that uniform.”

You laugh, stepping through the door, not in the least bit phased by his comment. It's not the first time you’ve been told that. “Yeah, that uniform is like an invisibility cloak. I put it on, and no man sees me. Guess you're no exception,” you explain, turning to look at him again. 

“Well, I see you now,” he says, quickly lifting his focus from your ass to your face. “Um, they’re through there,” he gestures for you to go ahead of him. 

“There she is,” Jody says, embracing you with one arm while she places the huge bowl of salad on the table. “How’re you doing?”

“Guess I’m still a little shell-shocked, but I’m okay.” 

“Well, we’re all here to help you…adjust,” Sam offers with a kind smile.

Discovering monsters are, in fact, very real and not just a Halloween marketing ploy is definitely going to be an adjustment. But what choice do you have? These people have given you an in. They’ve let you into their secret club, and honestly, you feel privileged that they trust you and think you are capable enough to help.

If you weren’t capable, neither Jody nor Dean would be here right now, a fact Sam keeps thanking you for over dinner.

“Thank you for being so cool about this,” he says again, lifting his beer bottle to clink it against yours. 

“I’ll freak out later,” you joke, though you probably will. 

“Seriously, you rushed in there, no hesitation, and you held your own,” Jody adds to Sam’s praise. “You certainly proved I picked the right woman for my team.”

“And I can’t thank you enough for that,” you say, genuinely grateful for the opportunity to work with her.

You’ve had some awful bosses and equally shitty jobs over the years, so it's nice to have found Sheriff Mills. Okay, so you’ll be fighting real-life monsters occasionally, but what’s a little compromise? 

They answer all your questions, and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little overwhelming. Dean keeps flashing a tight smile in your direction, and you’re not sure if it's meant to be reassuring or if he’s biting his tongue and trying not to be rude. Regardless of his intention, Jody and the boys’ promises to help you come to grips with it all make it seem manageable.

“Am I going to get to hear the story of how you met those two?” you ask Jody in the kitchen later. 

“Definitely, but not tonight,” she explains, handing you a clean, soapy plate to rinse and dry.

Dean and Sam laugh in the other room, and Jody smiles wistfully. It’s so sweet and motherly it chokes you up a little.  

“The years have not been kind to those boys,” she says, focusing back on the dishes. “They keep their circle small, and I’m grateful that they let me be a part of it, and now you get to join it, too.”

“It’s a damn good-looking circle,” you confess.

Jody chuckles, “Ah, so you noticed Dean as much as he noticed you.” 

“Don’t go all matchmaker on me again,” you warn, “do I need to remind you of the disaster that was Paul?” 

“No, you do not. I’m just making an observation. The circle is indeed good-looking, and Dean has been doing a lot of observing of his own.” 

“Yeah, not sure that’s for the reasons you’re implying,” you say, “Dean doesn’t seem like he wants me to be helping out.”

Dean’s voice startles you, “You saved our asses.” You jump, twisting to look at him, “that’s enough.”

“But if I can do more…”

“The life of a hunter isn’t a life I'd recommend,” he explains, reaching for a beer from the fridge, “ it’s messy and painful and usually ends badly.”

“That’s life in general,” you counter, “and if something is happening and I don’t do anything to help, I’m part of the problem.”

“That’s fine,” he says, throwing his bottle top into the trash. “You’re a bigger part of the problem if you get into a situation you can’t get out of.”

“Dean,” Jody scolds, “take it easy. You said it yourself, she saved our asses today. She’s proven she’s capable.”

“All I’m saying is I’ll help where and if I can,” you explain. “I’m not going to go all Buffy the Vampire Slayer and start patrolling graveyards.”

It’s faint, but a slight quirk tugs his lips, breaking the building tension. 

“Besides, I’m sure our uniform makes us invisible to monsters as well as men.” 

He laughs properly at that, “Not invisible to me anymore,” his tongue sits behind his teeth, and you're suddenly jealous when he wraps his lips around the bottle.

“Good to know,” you say.

You hold each other’s gaze, perhaps a challenge to see who will shy away first. 

“Cool it, you two,” Jody warns, flicking water off the tips of her fingers at you both. 

“Sorry, boss,” you laugh. “And on that note, I’m gonna get going.”

“Need a ride?” Dean asks, a smug smirk in play. 

“I would love one,” you wink, but follow up with, “but it’s a nice night. Think I’m gonna walk, work off some of that wine.” 

“Why don’t you walk her home?” Jody suggests. 

Dean nods, “lead the way.”

When you’d balked, telling Dean you didn’t need an escort, he’d countered, saying he needed the fresh air, but you think it’s more to check up on you and maybe flirt a little more without an audience if your instincts are correct. It’s been nothing but small talk since leaving Jody’s until you're standing on your porch facing one another.

“So how are you really taking all this?” he asks. 

“I had a little freak out before I got to Jody’s,” you answer honestly, “but truthfully, it makes me feel a little better about the world.” 

He huffs a laugh, and his confused frown is adorable. “Okay, that’s a first.” 

“There’s so much evil in the world. It’s scary enough without knowing what I know now,” you explain, adding, “Maybe some of the unexplainable evil that’s all over the news is explainable. Maybe it’s not humans being horrible. Maybe it’s actually something evil.”

“Huh, I never thought of it like that.”

“I’m not saying I’ll remember that the next time a vamp is kicking my ass,” you laugh. 

“Hey,” he scolds, “you agreed, no hunting.” 

You hold your hands up, surrendering. “I won’t go looking for it, but if it comes to Sioux Falls, I’m all over it,” you promise, but your body has other ideas as an overall ache spreads through you as the day's events catch up with you. “Well, maybe in a few days when I’ve recovered from the last one.” Subconsciously, your tongue rolls over the cut on your bottom lip.  

“That hurt?” he asks. 

“I’ve had worse.” You shrug. The way he’s looking at you dulls the sting of the cut, and the tired ache in your bones shifts and reshapes into a simmering itch that needs scratching.

“You gonna be okay?” he asks, pointing over your shoulder toward your door. The implication of you being alone goes unsaid.

“I’ll be fine,” you say, trying not to roll your eyes. “But maybe you want to come in? Have a coffee or something, distract me a little longer so I don’t freak out too much?”

He smiles, wetting his lips. He knows that’s not what you're asking, and you wonder how often the offer of ‘coffee or something’ has been used successfully on him. He looks down at his shuffling feet, heaving a sigh. “I should get back.” 

The hesitation is clear, yet he doesn’t move. A surge of adrenaline spreads through you, and your heart rate increases. When he looks up, catching your eyes, the intensity of the long, loaded pause is enough to make you wonder, if monsters exist, then maybe that electricity everyone talks about is real, too, because it feels like if you touch your hand to Dean’s face, sparks will fly.

“Thanks again for the save today,” he whispers.

“Anytime,” you smile. 

You don’t know who moves first, but suddenly you're as one, mouths connected, exploring the other’s, hands groping and gripping, and your lip stings for a split second, but then Dean has you pinned against your door, and you forget about it.

He pulls away and kisses your neck, “Maybe,” he says, scraping his teeth against your jaw, “we should take this inside.”

Your arrangement with Dean works. No pressure, no expectations. Summer comes, and winter fades, but your relationship remains mutually beneficial. 

He rolls through Sioux Falls, that charming smile - that you’re not sure he knows quite how charming it is - “passing through,” but he stays a few days. He always claims it’s to catch up with Jody and the girls, but he spends most of his time at your place, and it’s too coincidental that you’re never on shift or scheduled for a few days when Baby pulls up outside.

Jody insists she has nothing to do with it. Yes, she's the sheriff, yes, she’s your boss, and makes the rotas, but “The only thing I swing is that I get to work with you,” she’d promised, winking. And you love her for that. Some of the men are still stuck in the past, and though they don’t say it, you can tell they don’t think women can do the job.

If only they knew. You’ve helped on a few hunts now. There’s no doubt in your mind that your relationship with Dean wouldn’t be what it is if you didn’t know about the real evils of the world. But each hunt ended the same: a dead monster and your body beneath Dean’s. 

You're in your room lacing up your little white summer pumps when the Impala’s engine announces his arrival.

You jump to your feet, quickly check yourself in your mirror, smoothing down the already smooth summer dress, and call out, “It’s open,” when his knock echoes around the house.

“Wow, look at you,” he says, freezing partway over the threshold to admire you as you bounce down the stairs.

You deliver your usual greeting, a swift kiss to his lips, and the unmistakable aroma of leather and cheap motel soap assaults your senses - damn, you’ve missed him - but you won’t say it. Instead, you show it, making the kiss deeper.

He shuffles inside, uses your hips to steady himself as he kicks the door closed, and then wraps his arms around your waist to hold you tightly against him. 

Your phone rings, and you fumble to find it on the table by the door, but as soon as you do, Dean releases you, kissing your neck and collarbone. 

“Hey, hi,” you answer. 

“Hey babe,” your best friend sings, and you know it's because she needs something. “Can you grab some ice on your way over?” 

“Yeah, sure, okay.” 

“You okay?” 

No. Yes.

Dean is kneading your breasts, nibbling on the skin that spills out the top of your sundress. “Yeah, just rushing, I’m running late.” 

“So late,” he mumbles into your skin.

“Well, hurry more,” she says before hanging up.

“Oh fuck, Dean, you gotta stop,” you whine. 

He groans, dulling the sting of his bite with a sweet kiss, and pulls back to look at you. “This a bad time, isn’t it?”

You nod, feeling as disappointed as he looks. “It’s my friend's birthday. She’s having a barbeque.” 

He sighs, leaning his head on your shoulder and mumbling into your neck. “Damn it.” 

“I have to at least show my face,” you say, using your hands on his cheeks to pull his head up to look into his eyes. “But you can stay here, take a shower, watch a movie or something, and maybe in a couple of hours, I get a headache and need to come home.” 

Wetting his lips, he smirks before delivering a brief kiss. “Or,” he draws out the syllable, mild hesitation clear in his eyes, “Maybe I can come with you?”

Since Chuck is no longer an issue, Dean has been making an effort to live in the moment, opening himself up, if only a little. So you try to quell the shock of his suggestion. It quickly evolves to a pleased grin when your mind flashes to your friends' faces when you walk in with the infamous Dean. They will lose their shit. You like spending time with Dean but don’t want to cross any lines or make assumptions. “I’d like that,” you smile, “but you really don’t have to.”

“I’m sure I can survive a couple hours with your friends, and you know I can always eat.”

“Okay,” you nod, smile widening. “If you’re sure.” 

He kisses you again, a simple but effective peck on your lips. “But maybe we both get a headache in a couple of hours.” 

“Deal,” you agree, sealing it with another casual kiss. “Maybe lose a few layers. It’s summer.”

He laughs, shrugging off his jacket. “I’m sure I have a clean Fed shirt in the trunk.”

“Perfect,” you say, grabbing your bag and keys. “Want me to drive?” 

He rolls his eyes, jesting, “Did that kiss fry your brain?” as he follows you out the front door.

He opens the passenger door for you, and before you slip inside, you tell him, “Oh, and whatever my friends say I’ve said about you, it’s all lies.”

He grins smugly, “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

The shower has done wonders for your developing hangover. Your friend's barbecue lasted longer than you had anticipated, but the day couldn’t have gone better. 

Dean fit in well with everyone and crushed it at beer pong. It was a success all around, and when you’d quietly asked if he wanted to leave, he’d said no, that he was having too much fun.

The fun continued when you got home, and Dean is undoubtedly still feeling the effects as well. It’s almost midday, and he’s still sound asleep in your bed when you enter your bedroom in clean sweats and your bra while you towel dry your hair. 

Dean is lying on his stomach, with his face smushed adorably against the pillow he’s hugging, taking advantage of all the space now that you’ve vacated.

You crawl across the bed, leaning over him, and he still doesn’t stir. You put your lips close to his ear and half whisper, “Morning.”

His brow instantly creases, and he squeezes his eyes tighter, groaning, “No, no, you have to go away.” 

“You gotta get up. It’s almost midday.”

“Nuh-uh,” he grumbles, eyes still squeezed shut. “You have to take your horrible talking, talky mouth away from me.” 

“Okay, you asked for it.” You laugh, sitting back and wringing your hair out so the excess water drips on his naked back.

“Ah,” he groans, arching up off the mattress.

You jump off the bed, laughing as you walk to the mirror to start doing your hair. Turning over, he rubs a hand over his face and then both through his hair, causing it to stick up adorably. He catches you staring in the mirror, and you quickly avert your eyes. 

“Damn, your friends can drink,” he says, sitting up against the headboard. 

You laugh, that’s an understatement. “They definitely know how to have fun.” 

“They seem like a good bunch.” 

“They liked you too,” you smile at his reflection, and he grins back. “Laura told me to invite you to her and Chris’ wedding.”

His expression shifts, staring off into the distance for a singular moment as if he’s imagining how that would play out. But as quickly as it appears, it drops when he scrubs a hand down his face to put the mask back on. “That’s cool, but I can’t make that kind of commitment.” He swings his legs off the bed, putting his back to you. “I don’t know where I’ll be.”

You hadn’t expected a solid answer, but the double meaning behind his words settles thick disappointment in your stomach. You’ve never asked for any commitment nor discussed the arrangement between you, but hearing him say it aloud singes the hope you always try to contain.

Dean quickly gets to his feet, swaying at the abruptness. “I’m gonna grab a shower.” He mumbles, avoiding eye contact as he heads to the bathroom.

It’s been less than ten minutes, and you’re sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling through your phone, when he finds the courage to face you again. He’s talking to Sam on his phone, obnoxiously loud, as he descends the stairs, trying to make a point of his hasty need to depart.

He appears in the kitchen doorway, jacket in hand, hair dripping onto the shoulders of his henley. You guess you should be grateful he wasn’t cowardly enough to have just shouted goodbye from the door. 

“Listen, I’m sorry about before.” He moves closer to the table, eyeing you as he raps his knuckles on the polished wood. “It’s just that, even with Chuck out of the picture, I’m not sure how things are going to play out. I can’t make any, uh, long-term commitments. Sam and-“

“I get it, Dean.” The last thing you want is any tension between you, so you nip the growing uncomfortableness. “We don’t need to have any awkward conversations.”

He bobs his head, hope swimming in his eyes. “So, we’re good?”

You take your mug to the sink, and once your back is to him, you say, “Yeah, we’re good.”

“You sure?” You didn’t hear him move, but the air shifts behind you, bringing his warmth along with it.

Plastering on a smile, you turn to face him and nod. “Take care of yourself.”

The corner of his mouth curls upward, and he kisses your forehead before heading to the door, “Talk to you soon,” he calls before the door clicks shut.

Fools rush in. Dean is no fool. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel like being one sometimes. Usually, it’s when he’s on the road, heading home from a hunt or supply run, he daydreams about how things could be with you. 

The daydream isn’t much different from how things already are. The sex would just be coupled with more official dates – dinner, movies, watching him, which for some reason turns you on, ‘do his thing’ as you call it when he’s hustling suckers at pool. Hell, even grocery shopping. He’d sneak unhealthy snacks into the cart because you promised Sam you’d take care of him, and you would. Dean knows you’d be good to him, that you are good for him. But he’s lived that life. He doesn’t need a wake-up call to know how it ends.

It’s a nice daydream. It gives him a much-needed boost of serotonin when he’s in short supply. But like the gas that fuels Baby, the thought has vaporized by the time he shuts off the engine.

Chuck isn’t calling the shots anymore, but that doesn’t mean the big bads aren’t still gunning for the Winchester's demise. Sam has it all figured out with Eileen, and Dean wishes he could be as sure about what he wants life to look like now. But he can’t be sure of anything, at least not yet. He’s still working on adjusting to a life not consumed by hunting. Trying to come to terms with the fact that there isn’t something lurking around every corner, that the choices he makes – good and bad – are truly his and not fueled by some life-ending curveball Chuck tosses at them. 

The doubts bore deeper, and as always, when he’s drowning in his own head, he thinks of you.

He remembers how you busted down the door with borrowed equipment from Sioux Falls. You’d looked frantic but still in control. Your mere presence had calmed him, and not because you were there to rescue him. You didn’t waste a breath with a witty comment like he would have. You let off two shots, dropped the ghoul about to take a chunk out of him, and then untied him.

You’d been cool and calm, checked him for injuries, but didn’t believe he was truly okay till he kissed you breathless. That adrenaline-filled, kiss-swollen lips, slightly frantic edge to your eyes, is the picture he conjures whenever he thinks of you. 

It’s been a while since he’s seen you. You’ve exchanged a few calls, but now that his mind is stuck on that picture of you, he has to see you.

He shoots Sam a text, telling him he’ll be in Sioux Falls if Sam needs anything, and then pulls an illegal u-turn to put himself in your direction. 

Dean’s not phased that you aren’t home when he shows up. It’s not like he called ahead. He never does. But now that he’s here, he doesn’t want to waste time tracking you down, so he calls. 

“Hey,” you greet brightly.

The smile in your voice brings out his. “Hey, yourself. I’m at your door.” 

“Shit, sorry, I’m not there.”

He chuckles, “Are you around, or does my timing suck again?” 

“No, no, it’s kinda perfect, actually,” you say. “I was gonna call you later anyway. But I need a half hour or so.”

“I can wait.” 

“Greasy Sal’s?” you offer. 

He smiles, already salivating at the thought of a Greasy Sal’s cheeseburger. “Throw in some curly fries,” he requests.  

“Okay, got it,” You laugh.

Dean sits on the Impala’s hood while he waits, head tilted toward the sun, eyes closed while he catches the day’s last rays. The sound of your car’s engine isn’t as distinct as Baby’s, but he knows it well enough that as soon as he hears it, he opens his eyes and watches you turn onto the street. It’s not until that moment that he realizes how eager he is to see you. Maybe Greasy Sal’s can wait; he has another hunger he needs to sate.

He waits till you shut off the engine to open your door, “such a gentleman,” you quip, taking his offered hand to step onto the sidewalk. “Or are you clambering for food?” 

“Not what I’m hungry for,” he says, guiding you against your car. He presses himself against you, feeling the coolness of the air conditioning on your clothes. He circles the tip of your nose with his own, whispering, “Hey,” against your lips before claiming them as his own. 

Frustratingly, you push a hand into his chest after the first brush of his tongue, and he pulls back to look at you. You're looking up at him from under hooded eyes, and he feels like his heart skips a beat, or maybe he’s just a little out of breath. But he knows that with you gazing up at him like he’s a beautiful sunset, he really has missed you. 

“Maybe we should take this inside.”

“Absolutely,” he says, slightly impatient that he can’t get you naked then and there.

He walks to the trunk to get your shopping bags and follows you up the path. He has a bag packed with his essentials but never brings it inside until the next morning. Something about bringing it in before you’ve had sex seems presumptuous, which is crazy because, as per the arrangement, that’s exactly what he’s here for.

“It’s good to see you,” you say, entering your kitchen with him close on your tail.

“Yeah, you too.” He genuinely means it. It’s like things fall into place when he’s around you. 

“How’s Sam?”

“He’s good,” Dean explains, placing the grocery bags on the countertop. “He’s taken Eileen away for a couple days.” 

“Good for them.” 

You unpack the groceries and take a beer from the fridge; as always, it's his favorite brand. Though he never warns you of his pending arrival there is always a supply cooling in the refrigerator and his favorite snacks in the cupboards. 

He takes the open bottle from you, leaning in to deliver another kiss, but you turn to grab more groceries, and he realizes it's a not-so-stealthy way to give him your cheek.

It seems to be the day of revelations because he’s super aware of how easily you flow around each other in the small kitchen. Dean plates up the burgers, grabbing another beer for you from the fridge, and he’s surprised to see that it’s the only one left. That, coupled with the kiss avoidance, gives him pause. Something’s wrong. 

You sit at the table and take a large gulp of the beer. “You okay?” he asks once you’ve swallowed the beer and the nervousness you're exuding. “You seem a little…off.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say, then inhale deeply before adding, “Actually, no, I’m not. We need to talk. And I hate how cliche that sounds, but I don’t know how else to bring it up, and I don’t want to get all emotional on you, but I need to tell you something.”

He feels the panic fizz in his gut. You can’t be pregnant. He's seen you take birth control, and he uses protection every time. So it can only be one thing …you're about to ruin everything.

You're going to utter those three words, and it's going to be the death blow to all the good stuff between you. 

He takes a swig of his beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Please don’t,” he begs, looking you dead square in the eyes. “What we’ve got going on is good, we’re good…” 

“Dean, I …” you try, but he holds a hand up to cut you off.

“Don’t say it.” he pushes his chair back and rubs his hands on his thighs, palms suddenly sweaty. “I like what we have. It works, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look forward to it or that I don’t miss you. But I just got back a little peace of mind and…” he pauses, clearly searching for the right word, “caring about someone…” he shakes his head, reaching to wrap his hand around his beer bottle. “...Loving me, even with Chuck gone, it doesn’t make it any less of a death sentence. So please don’t say it.”

You reach across the table for his hand, clenched around his beer, but he’s quick to pull back. “Dean,” you choke out, the remorse you feel slipping from your eyes in a single tear. “I’ve met someone.” 

He stares at you, mouth agape, not sure that he heard you correctly. 

“It’s still new,” you continue, rushing to explain as your tears spill. “But it’s going somewhere. Somewhere great, and I don’t want to mess it up.”

Of course, you haven’t been sitting at home waiting for his sporadic visits. You’ve been out living your life as you should be. The possibility of meeting someone else, someone you could say those three words to, and it be a life sentence and not a death sentence, had occurred to him more than once. It poked at him like a swarming gnat, knowing you deserved to find someone better than him, but selfishly, he swatted at it until it went away. 

He’s holding his breath and will get light-headed soon if he doesn’t find the ability to breathe again. 

“Dean,” you coax, “say something.”

He feels as if you’d blindsided him, come out of the left field, and taken his legs out from under him. Now he’s on his back, the wind knocked out of him, and waiting for the feeling in his limbs to return. 

Abruptly he stands. He sees the panic in your eyes and knows what’s coming. As you plead, “Don’t leave,” he says, “I gotta go.”

He strides quickly toward the door. You call his name as he goes, but he doesn’t stop. 

He rushes out your front door, leaves it open, and as he reaches Baby, he has a singular moment of wondering what will hurt the least - holding on or letting go.

“Dean, please,” you call from the door. 

He slides behind the wheel, deciding to let go.

Part 2 - The Right Guy On Paper.

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Master Lists: JAcklesVerseBingo / Dean Winchester / Main

#jacklesversebingo23 #dean winchester #spn #supernatural #dean winchester x reader #reader insert #female reader #dean winchester angst #spn fanfic #angst #spn fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fandom #dean winchester x you #you x dean winchester

[cherienymphe]

Basic Training (Peter Parker x Reader)

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, MURDER, violence, minor character deaths, kidnapping, captivity, public sex, degradation, forced pregnancy, forced marriage, stockholm syndrome, ptsd, housewife kink, cop!Peter

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies​ | divider by @whimsicalrogers​

➥ series masterlist

summary: A pit stop during a road trip ends tragically when a small town cop sets his sights on you. You’re the newest addition in a long standing fucked up family tradition.

~

You browsed the shelves with a deep frown, the sounds of your friends’ laughter in your ears as they searched for their favorite snacks too. You guys were halfway to Florida, the excitement in the air contagious as you embarked on the road trip that had been in the works for almost a year. You could hear Wanda telling you to hurry up, something about making the process rocket science.

“Sorry,” you dragged out, joining her at the counter. “…but I think what snacks you choose for an hours long car ride is pretty important.”

“We’re literally going to eat right after this,” a familiar voice said from over your shoulder as MJ pulled up beside you. “…and shopping too.”

She grumbled that last part, and Wanda chuckled.

“The whole point of this trip is to have fun,” the redhead reminded her.

“In some small rinky dink backwoods town?” Michelle murmured. “They don’t even have a mall.”

The man working the counter gave her a look at that, and you nudged her with a look of your own. You definitely had similar thoughts of your own when Pietro stopped here, Wanda’s brother voicing his desire for something to eat. It certainly wouldn’t be your first choice, but it had its charm you could admit. Everyone seemed nice so far, and you were quick to scold Michelle when you made your way out of the gas station.

“Don’t be so snobby,” you told her. “Besides, we’ll be leaving in a few hours anyway.”

“Finally,” you heard Pietro groan as the three of you approached the car. “I was about to leave you.”

Wanda lightly pushed his head as she slid into the passenger seat, you and Michelle settling into the back. Driving from Maine to Washington to Florida sounded like an insane thing to do when it was first suggested, but the more you and Wanda had laughed about it, the less funny it became. Michelle pretended to need her arm twisted into going, but it was obvious that she was into it. Once Pietro offered to be the main driver, the plans were set.

“I was googling restaurants here while you three were taking your sweet time,” he said, pulling onto the road.

You watched Wanda snatch his phone, scrolling through what he’d pulled up.

“We should see the Statue of Athena when we get to Tennessee,” Michelle suggested, looking out of the window.

Pietro mumbled something unintelligible, but Wanda voiced her agreement. You were mostly quiet on the way to the restaurant, but it wasn’t a long drive. Michelle was right when she said the town was small, and the restaurant that was decided on took no time to get to.

It was a quaint place, nothing too extraordinary or even huge. There weren’t many cars in the parking lot, and the only notable vehicles were two police cars near the building. Wanda and Pietro were going back and forth about what the restaurant may or may not serve while Michelle slid some shades onto her eyes to block out the sun.

There was a bell above the door that rang when it opened, and you looked around the establishment as Wanda talked to one of the waitresses. As the woman led the four of you to a table, your gaze passed over four cops seated in the corner of the restaurant. You didn’t know if they were on break or officially done for the day, but if their table was anything to go by, they’d been eating here for a while.

When the waitress came back with menus and glasses of water, you asked her if there was a bathroom.

“Oh, sure, honey,” she sweetly told you, pointing towards a hallway over her shoulder. “Just through there.”

“Why didn’t you go at the gas station?” Wanda wondered as you stood.

“…because it was probably ten times more disgusting than this one could be.”

You told Michelle what you wanted to order just in case you weren’t back by the time the waitress returned to get orders. You hurried into the hallway, finding the bathroom with ease. There was only one, and you were relieved when your knock on the door was met with silence. Like you predicted, this bathroom was cleaner than you expected the one at the gas station to be.

You’d drank a lot of water since the last stop, and you didn’t even try to hold in your sigh of relief as you peed. Just as you were pulling your pants up, you heard a knock on the door, and you hurried to button them and wash your hands.

“I’ll be out in a second,” you called.

With one last look in the mirror, noting that car ride sleep was doing more wonders than sleeping in your own bed, you opened the door.

You were startled by the sight of one of the cops you’d seen earlier. You blinked at the sight of him, noting how boyish he looked up close. He seemed just as taken aback by you, although why, you didn’t know. You had the stray thought of wondering if he was even old enough to be a cop, and you shook it away. You knew guys from back who started making moves to be one the second they turned eighteen.

“Sorry,” you apologized for almost running into him. “It’s all yours.”

You sent him a polite smile, the smile dropping some when he didn’t really…move. A few seconds passed of him just looking at you, and after some time, he finally blinked himself, shaking his head. You noticed some strands of his dark hair move with the action.

“Sorry.”

Now, it was his turn to apologize.

“I shouldn’t have been standing that close,” he said, finally moving out of your way so you could walk out. “Enjoy your food.”

You sent him another polite smile at that, returning to the table. Pietro told you that they’d ordered when you sat back down, Michelle confirming that she’d ordered for you. When you made yourself comfortable in your seat, you glanced around again, your gaze catching an unfamiliar blue one. It was one of the cops at the table, a blond man with an intimidating build, and you quickly looked away.

“I kind of don’t want to skip North Carolina,” Wanda said, and both MJ and Pietro sighed.

You chuckled, already knowing why she wanted to go there.

“Outer Banks is just so far out of the way, Wanda,” you told her.

“Yes, but it’s a road trip,” she quietly whined. “The whole point is to see things and have fun. Besides, it’s not like we have a set date on when this is supposed to come to an end. It can end whenever we want, right?”

None of you had an argument for that, and she smiled, almost triumphantly.

“Okay, don’t get ahead of yourself. We all still have to agree,” Michelle said, but she couldn’t fight back her small smile.

“…but I’m driving,” the only man of the bunch spoke up, and Wanda flicked his arm.

“There are three of us and one of you. Hush before we put you in the trunk,” Wanda teased.

The waitress brought your food over before another word could get in, and you glanced up to thank her. As you did, your eyes passed over that same cop from earlier, the one you’d ran into outside of the bathroom. Your gazes briefly connected, and you had an odd reaction to it, a shudder traveling down your spine.

You frowned a bit as you gave your attention to your food. It wasn’t that weird, you guessed. It was a small restaurant after all, and aside from them and your friends, there were only about three other people in the building. It was probably your own bias to be honest. Men in positions of authority never bode well with you, and policemen were at the top of the list for a multitude of reasons.

You guys discussed the rest of your trip over your lunch, making a list of things you wanted to see. Pietro huffed at every third suggestion. When there came a point where you could feel yourself getting full, you peered around for the waitress. With no sign of her, you decided to just go to the counter and ask for some takeout boxes. What you presumed was the owner nodded at you.

“Yeah, give me one moment…”

When he walked away, you pulled out your phone to see if there actually was any place decent in town to shop at. Worst case scenario, you guys would wind up at a Walmart or something. Google was just pulling up some results when you felt a shift in the air, a shift at your side. You glanced over and was shocked to see that same cop from before next to you.

You didn’t acknowledge it outside of that, facing forward again just as he spoke.

“Hey, Nick! Bring some out for us too,” he called.

Your attention was drawn to your fingers on the counter, tapping them and drawing circles into the wood. You could feel the heat of a gaze on your face, and you thought that maybe you were imagining it until the man next to you spoke up.

“Are you and your friends new in town?”

You were startled by the question, by the act of him talking to you, and you looked at him just as he spoke again.

“…or just passing through?”

There was a small smile on his lips as he said that, the corners curving upwards ever so slightly.

“Just passing through,” you finally answered. “Road trip.”

He hummed with a nod, gaze passing over you.

“My buddies and I went on a small road trip a few years back. It was pretty fun.”

You gave a tight lipped chuckle at that, looking towards the kitchen and wondering what was taking the owner so long. You both felt and heard the cop move closer, and you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye just as he spoke again.

“Our town isn’t much, but there’s a few nice shops and boutiques around here,” he said, making you look at him in wonder.

“Oh?’

“Yeah,” he said, pulling out a pen and paper. “I’d hate for you to leave here with a bad impression.”

He chuckled, and you eventually joined in.

“We need you to come back. How else will we make any money?”

“Right,” you lightly said with a smile.

You took the list from him with a thanks, and he held it for a few seconds longer than necessary before finally letting go. You folded it up as he introduced himself.

“Peter,” he said, holding out his hand.

You hesitated, eyeing the appendage for some reason.

Peter seemed nice enough, maybe overly so, but again. That was probably just your own bias. Besides, even if he was a little strange to you, you would never see him again. You guys would be leaving in a few hours and heading further south. On the off chance that you did ever come back to visit, the chances of running into this same cop were low.

You gently shook his hand, introducing yourself too.

The owner finally returned then, bringing a bunch of carryout boxes with extra to keep at the counter. You took a few, thanking him and leaving the man Peter without another word. Your friends were in a discussion about Pietro’s ex-girlfriend when you returned. You told them about a list of shops in town as they packed up their food.

“That cop told me,” you told Wanda once she asked, walking outside. “The youngest one.”

You didn’t think of him again once you were in the car and driving down the street. Wanda was happy with the suggestions, finding at least two things at every shop. You and Michelle stopped for ice cream while Wanda went into some mom-and-pop pharmacy. Pietro was by the car and on his phone. While Michelle complimented the chocolate mint she got, you glanced up and caught sight of a cop car slowly passing by.

You only gave it a second glance when you recognized the cop in the passenger seat as the same blond from the restaurant. You frowned a bit, Michelle’s words fading to the background. You reminded yourself that it was a small town, and while the police department back home had hundreds of cops, the one here maybe had a total of fifteen. It was probably normal here to see the same cop several times in the same day.

You and Michelle met Wanda back in the car, Pietro telling you guys to get a move on. You were texting your mom, telling her you guys were on the road again as Pietro started the car. You loved her, but she worried too much, and while you didn’t mind placating her and keeping her up to date on where you were, it still made you roll your eyes.

After eating and walking around for a bit, you could feel yourself getting sleepy. It was to be expected. All of that combined with the smooth drive was really doing you in. Wanda and Michelle’s conversation became nothing more than a soft hum, and you were drifting more and more, but you knew Pietro hadn’t been driving long when you felt him starting to slow down.

You didn’t think a thing of it at first, not until you heard him curse anyway.

“What’s wrong?” Michelle wondered.

“The engine is cutting out,” you heard him say. “There’s…the gas. It’s gone.”

You opened your eyes at that, peeling them open just as the car came to a complete stop on the side of the road. You blinked, rubbing them and sitting up.

“What?” you heard Wanda say.

“Didn’t you just get gas?” you wondered.

“Yeah,” Pietro scoffed. “What the hell…?”

He tried to start the car a few more times with no luck, and only then was that when you started to get worried. When the twins got out of the car, you followed with a frown. Michelle poked her head out of the window as Pietro popped the hood.

“We had a full tank and then suddenly it just dropped,” he said from under the hood. “It has to be the fuel line…”

Wanda leaned against the car, and you pulled out your phone. You started texting your mom, and after a while of it not going through, you realized you must be on a bad stretch of road. You were holding your phone high as Pietro tried to figure out what was going on with the car. Wanda was trying to make a call too, and you’d just dropped your arm in frustration when the sound of a car reached your ears.

“Someone’s coming. Maybe we can get them to call someone or bring us some gas,” you suggested.

As the car appeared at the top of the hill, you realized it was a cop car. You weren’t sure if you should feel relieved about that, and you sank your teeth into your lip. Without even needing to flag them down, it started to slow, and you moved closer to the rental as it stopped right behind it.

You didn’t really know how to feel when a familiar face rose out of the passenger seat.

It was the same cop from the restaurant.

Peter.

The one who rose out of the driver’s seat was at the restaurant too. You remembered him, skin dark and hair cut low, and you wrung your hands together, frown deepening. You wondered how many coincidences became weird, became something that was no longer a coincidence.

“Hey,” Peter waved to you, that friendly smile on his pink lips.

You could feel your friends’ eyes on you, and you sent the cop a tight smile.

“Hi,” you nervously breathed.

“Car trouble?” he wondered, moving closer.

His partner lingered by the cop car…watching. You crossed your arms over your chest, feeling weird all of a sudden, and you glanced over your shoulder. Pietro was peering from around the hood, and Michelle had gotten out of the car, now.

“Yeah,” you finally answered. “We think it’s the engine or…something. One minute we had a near full tank of gas and then nothing.”

You shrugged as he neared the front of the car, peering under the hood. You glanced back at the other cop nervously, unable to help feeling like something was off. Peter didn’t remain under the hood for long, straightening and sending a nod to his partner. You heard the other man speak into his radio, and Wanda spoke up.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re just going to give you guys a ride back to town,” Peter said, and that didn’t relieve you.

“What about the car?” Michelle wondered.

“We’ll get someone to come and get and take it to a shop,” the other cop finally spoke up.

All four of you looked at each other. You still didn’t know what exactly was wrong with it, so it made sense to have it looked at, but this was definitely putting a dent in your plans. Not to mention how off this all still felt to you.

“There’s four of us,” you commented. “Honestly, if you could just call for a tow…”

“Well, that’s why I called for backup. That way we can give everyone a ride,” the other cop replied.

You looked to your friends, trying to gage how they felt about this. This just didn’t feel right to you, but you guys were stuck practically in the middle of nowhere with no gas and a faulty car with unknown reasons as to why. You didn’t want to be the one to disagree if everyone else was okay with it, but Wanda spoke before you could.

“Actually, I think we’ll just keep trying to call a tow.”

You could see another cop car coming over the hill, now, and you moved closer to Michelle. Peter, the only cop whose name you knew, was near you again, and he sent you what was meant to be a comforting smile, you were sure.

“It’s no trouble. Just let us drive you back to town and-.”

“Thanks, but we’re just going to decline,” you told him. “That’s nice of you though…”

You made to get back in the car when Peter stopped you. You were startled by the feel of his hand on your wrist, looking at him with wide eyes, and Pietro’s voice reached your ears.

“Hey,” he called, nearing you both. “We appreciate the offer, but we���d rather just call a tow truck, alright?”

He grabbed Peter’s arm, the action drawing his attention to Pietro, and you used the opportunity to stumble away. Peter looked at your friend with a gaze in his eye you couldn’t name, but it unnerved you, cementing that odd feeling you’d felt since they’d arrived. Peter didn’t look so boyish, now, so…nice. His dark eyes studied Pietro’s hand on him, and the other cop car had slowed to a stop, now.

“I could arrest you on assaulting an officer,” he quietly said, and your heart skipped a beat.

“You grabbed our friend first,” Michelle argued, the concern that you’d been feeling all along now reflected on her face.

“Pietro,” you said, reaching for him and trying to get him to back up.

He did, but you had a feeling that the offense was already done.

“He shouldn’t touch you like that,” he spat, and Wanda was now standing with you three.

You didn’t like the way Peter was looking at Wanda’s brother, and you looked over as the other officers got out of their car too. Your lips parted, chest clenching painfully as your eyes landed on that same blond-haired, blue-eyed cop from the restaurant. The brunette at his side had been there too, and you sharply inhaled.

Something was very wrong.

The blond was quickly approaching, speaking to Peter as if the four of you weren’t even there.

“What’s the problem?”

Peter spoke before any of you could.

“Car trouble. We tried to offer them a ride back to town, but their friend here thought it was okay to assault an officer.”

The way Peter spoke to the blond, it made it clear who was the higher up of the two, and you scoffed at the words leaving his mouth.

“That’s not true. You grabbed her and Pietro-.”

“Pietro, is it?” the blond cut Wanda off, approaching her brother. “You have the right to remain silent...”

“Wait,” Wanda cried. “This is insane, he barely touched him. Your buddy-.”

“Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney.”

You blinked in disbelief, unable to understand how some simple car trouble had escalated into Pietro getting arrested. While Wanda was trying to argue with the cop currently putting Pietro in handcuffs, you didn’t notice Peter moving closer to you until his hand was on your arm.

“We’ll drive the rest of you back to town…”

“No!” you pulled against his hand, shocked when he didn’t let go. “I don’t want to go anywhere. You can’t arrest him, he didn’t do anything!”

Panic filled you when Peter appeared to be stronger than he looked, practically dragging you away, and Michelle called out. It had gotten Wanda’s attention too, and they both ran over.

“Let go of her,” Michelle cried.

In all the commotion, you didn’t realize the other two cops had come over too. There was too much going on, and in the chaos, you found yourself tripping over your feet and out of Peter’s grip. Your chin knocked against the pavement, and you winced. You pushed yourself to your hands and knees, glancing up just in time to see that blond cop reach for his gun.

Your lips parted at the sight of Pietro pushing against him, unaware of what was about to happen.

You screamed his name just as the sound of the gunshot rang through the air, and you felt your skin grow cold at the sight of your best friend’s brother going…limp. Blood had never bothered you before, but in this context, it was the worst thing you’d ever seen. Wanda’s scream brought tears to your eyes, and you heard Peter curse.

“What the hell, Steve?” one of the other cops said, and their cavalier attitude about it had you stumbling to your feet.

The blond cop, Steve, finally spoke up.

“It was going to happen now or later, right?”

You looked at him, horrified, and you mindlessly reached for Michelle’s hand, but she batted it away. You looked at her, meeting her dark eyes as she seemed to have come to some conclusion you hadn’t yet. She looked disturbed, and she wouldn’t take her eyes off of you.

“Run,” she whispered.

Obviously, you guys were going to run, but her hand was pushing on your arm, pushing you away. Wanda was a screaming and crying mess, detained by the brunette who’d come with Steve, and more than you wanted to run, you wanted to hold her. What had just happened didn’t quite feel real, and you had a hard time convincing yourself that this wasn’t some awful nightmare you’d conjured up while falling asleep in the car.

Pietro was dead…and your eyes studied the way his blood crawled away from him. It made your stomach turn, and Steve’s next words took what little breath you had left.

“Peter…are you taking her or not?”

He sounded irritated, frustrated, and you slowly looked from him to Peter. His eyes met yours, and you took a step back as several things happened at once, too fast for you to comprehend, but just slow enough for you to witness.

The other cop, the brunette with hair that brushed his chin, took out his gun, and suddenly Wanda was just as dead as her brother. Steve was grabbing Pietro like he was nothing, the fourth cop was reaching for Michelle, and Peter was taking a step towards you. You didn’t even have time to react to it, Michelle grabbing your hand and taking off.

You couldn’t quite register that you were running, feet moving so fast and clumsily that it was a wonder you didn’t fall. Grass and twigs were scratching at your ankles and branches were snagging on your clothes. Witnessing the death of two of your friends wasn’t something you were able to process, too in disbelief, too in denial.

Michelle’s hand was tight in yours, and then it wasn’t.

You stumbled to a stop as she collapsed, your wide eyes falling to her frame. She was gasping and clutching her chest, a horrifying gurgling sound leaving her lips. Blood was soaking her shirt in a terrifying capacity, and when you fell to her knees beside her, her bloody hand pushed at you. Against your better judgement, you pressed your hand against her chest, but you knew it wouldn’t do any good.

Every cough coated her lips in more red, and you could hear the hurried footsteps approaching.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, and even though Michelle couldn’t speak, her dying action was to harshly shove you away. You glanced between her and the approaching cops, and feeling like your body was working on autopilot, you struggled to stand. It took you too long to take your eyes off of her, breaking out into a confused run.

You didn’t want to die, and you didn’t know why this was happening.

Michelle’s blood was on you, all of your friends were dead, and you were being chased through the woods by cops you had never even seen before today. Your vision blurred from your tears, and you felt like you weren’t getting air fast enough. You couldn’t hear anything else outside of your breathing, ears deaf to all other sounds.

You had never been particularly athletic, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins had your legs pushing farther than they ever had. Your mind couldn’t focus on anything beyond the sight of your dead friends, fear tightening your chest at the thought of ending up just like them. You thought you were running fast enough, but maybe it was silly to think you could outrun a cop who’d trained for things like this.

You hit the ground hard.

Truthfully, you didn’t even understand why you’d fallen at first. You’d just started flailing and screaming, and in the commotion, sometimes your hands or feet would connect with something. Or better yet, someone. Your nails broke skin, and you couldn’t tell what blood was MJ’s and what blood was…Peter’s.

“Hey, hey,” he gently said, trying to shush you, pressing his body against yours and trying to get his hand over your mouth. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

You didn’t believe him. Why would you believe him? You couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t swallow down the heavy sobs that kept climbing out of your throat. Every swipe of your hand got more of Michelle’s blood on his face, and the visual made your stomach churn. You were pushing your arm against his throat as he reached down, and so sure that you were going to die, you were shocked by the feeling of being shocked.

The taser made you jerk, halting your movements long enough to allow Peter to grab your arms. Your body was still shaking some when he turned you on your stomach, and you squeezed your eyes shut, your breath moving dirt. You couldn’t stop crying even if you tried, and you wailed at both the feel and the sound of the handcuffs clicking into place.

“Sam,” you heard him call, his breathing just as heavy as yours.

Peter was sitting on your lower back, knees pressed into the dirt on either side of your waist. You felt him pull the back of your shirt down, a pinch making you wince, and you didn’t miss the way the hand that held your head down was massaging your scalp with its fingers. It was almost soothing, or maybe that was just from whatever was in the syringe.

Your body felt weighed down by more than just the grown man holding you down, and when he moved, starting to lift you, you confirmed that. You stumbled, vision tilting and spinning, and Peter leaned you against him. You could feel his arms holding you as your knees buckled, and you blinked up at him, your breathing shaky. The corners of your vision were going dark, and a few more tears escaped.

“I don’t want to die,” you heard yourself whisper.

You could make out his frown, the way his dark eyes ran over you. You shuddered at the feel of his fingers on your cheek, brushing a tear away, and you swallowed when he shook his head.

“You’re not going to.”

The stench of blood was the last thing any of your senses registered.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #dark!peter parker #dark!peter Parker x reader #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #marvel #marvel fic #cop!au

[saccharineomens]

i've been poking at this too long to care how visually appealing it is anymore. My headcanons for the main characters' sexualities, based on canon information! (has no bearing on ships.) Canon speculation below the cut.

marcille (bi): fascinated by romance and loves romance. we only see her show explicit interest in a male (fictional character (General Halleus from the book series she loves)), but i don't think she's fully straight.

falin (aro? ace? lesbian? genderqueer?): falin's only interest in relationships in canon is 'she considered accepting shuro's proposal because she was afraid nobody else would want her, but felt it'd be unfair to him because she had no feelings for him'. i consider whether she's aroace or a lesbian or maybe bi/pan, and she also seems like she might have some genderqueer feelings, based on some of her discomfort with her body and wearing certain types of femme clothing. (Also the fact that she‘s part male dragon.) Since she ends the story going on a journey for herself, it feels like she'll finally get the chance to figure out what she wants.

laios (pan, demi): he hasn't shown explicit interest in men, but similar to marcille, i don't feel he's fully straight. He’s aesthetically attracted to monsters, at the very least, so gender probably doesn’t factor in for him. romance/sex just don’t seem to be much of a high priority to him in general, but he did think his ex-fiance was cute and didn't seem uncomfortable with the idea of marriage (just seemed unhappy with being trapped in his hometown), so i feel like demisexuality fits him well.

About his succubus: He was very noticeably not stopped in his tracks by it like Chilchuck and Marcille, but that could possibly be because it just….looked exactly like Marcille, not an obvious fantasy. He started blushing and stammering heavily when it turned into a monster, which like….this boy is definitely a furry/monsterfucker, if anything, but that doesn’t speak on his attraction to actual humans.

I think it speaks for something that the succubi are able to literally read minds and craft the perfect fantasy for their specific target. And for Laios, it wasn’t just “his friend Marcille”. It was a version of his friend Marcille that wasn’t grossed out by monsters, didn’t think he was weird for wanting to be one, and was able to turn Laios into one. It was a Marcille who understood him at his deepest level that made him become a blushing, stammering mess to rival Chilchuck. Which is why I think he’s Demi, and needs a strong emotional connection with someone before he finds them attractive.

kabru (pan): his special interest is people, and he's bold enough with his sexuality to kiss rin despite not being in a relationship with her. so being pan/bi feels appropriate.

chilchuck (bi): he has a wife, and they were childhood friends, so he's definitely allo. but his comments and behavior towards senshi makes me suspect he might be bi, and just never considered the possibility due to being in a committed relationship.

senshi (gay, ace): this is 90% off of vibes. he keeps to himself in the dungeon and doesn't seem to have any need for social company, he's a complete hermit. Being ace makes sense to me, but so would him just having a low social drive. His succubus was 'a woman he hadn't seen since he was a child', but his journal implies it wasn't a romantic/sexual attraction.

namari (bi/lesbian): she is at the very least attracted to women, given her behavior with kiki, but she does make a point to say that kaka is also attractive to her, and her friends at the bar tease her about Kaka being her “new” boyfriend (implying previous boyfriends).

shuro: the token straight (in love with falin, asked her to marry him). i love you shuro <3 (but i can also see him being into men. there's no evidence to the contrary)

izutsumi: aroace. literally no question. her succubus is her mother.

#dungeon meshi #dunmesh #delicious in dungeon #namari #chilchuck tims #senshi of izganda #marcille donato #laios touden #falin touden #kabru of utaya #izutsumi #my doodles #dm marcille #dm falin #dm kabru #dm shuro #dm izutsumi #dm namari #dm senshi #dm chilchuck #dm laios

[number1villainstan]

I just saw Dune Part 2 (2024) with some friends so here are some Thoughts i guess

I feel like on the whole these movies are trying to either downplay or cut out a lot of the misogyny/sexism in the book, although Herbert's view of gender roles is so pervasive in the book that it's hard to change without completely changing the worldbuilding (the Bene Gesserit especially) and/or certain characters and getting second-order effects that weaken or change the main plot. But they did a good job at least making it much less in-your-face and offensive than in the book. One of Chani's lines is about how "men and women are equal" in the Fremen, and while I don't really think that's supported by how the movie depicts Fremen I can see and respect where they're coming from

It's still a very male-dominated movie, but it's honestly pretty faithful to the book, and like--what are you gonna do? It's Dune. You can't exactly just genderbend Paul and get the same story, at least not when the Bene Gesserit are still what they are

wait now i'm thinking about an AU where the Kwisatz Haderach turns out to be a trans man. ideally you'd get both the canon critiques of white savior mythos/the Messiah trope and a deconstruction of the sexism and strict gender roles of the society of the Dune universe. also ideally you'd get a whole bunch of other queer characters in the same AU. you could also do an AU where the Kwisatz Haderach/a potential Kwisatz Haderach turns out to be a trans woman, or even nonbinary, but i feel like those would make for very different stories cuz AGAB/ASAB seems to matter like A Lot in the Dune universe

the movies did manage to completely get rid of the homophobic parts of the Harkonnens' characterization though. i did like that

although it was still using disability/deformity as shorthand for Ugly Evil Guy which :/

but enough about the Problematic Elements(TM) let's talk about the actual story

Chani was a lot more politically and generally assertive in the movie than I remember her being in the book, although it's been A While and she was also very much a Main Character who had thoughts and opinions and importance outside of the male characters she was affiliated with (as much as anyone can escape the political black hole that is Muad'dib but) AND! she actively advocated for Fremen self-governance in the beginning! although she didn't keep it up cuz she got sucked into the Paul black hole. this may have happened in the book it has been like two years since i read the first book and it was very disjointed reading cuz College(TM). I also liked the ending part, where it was implied that Chani was leaving, on her own, because she was angry with Paul, which implies More Character Development. (Also they didn't seem to do the Fremen polygamy/concubines thing in the movie, which was a good call, i feel like that part of the book was maybe informed by anti-Arab racism)

Jessica was incredible, of course. Love me a good ruthless woman. Her main character trait/motivation was definitely Paul's Mother but her main personality trait seems to be incredible ruthlessness. there is no madonna/whore complex to be found here no sir

(i may be wrong about that part but eh)

And of course the Harkonnen Blood reveal. the story definitely sets up Atreides as The Good Guys (fair, just, merciful, looking out for and caring about the people under their rule) and the Harkonnens as The Bad Guys (cruel, unjust, power-hungry and traitorous), which makes the reveal that Jessica and Paul have Harkonnen blood an incredible symbol of Paul's corruption arc. He goes from "I must do anything possible to avoid the holy war" (the Atreides way) to "CONQUER ARRAKIS AND ELIMINATE ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY" (the Harkonnen way) over the course of...technically years, in the book, although that wasn't super well communicated in the movie I feel--in the movie it was only months, cuz Alia hadn't been born yet by the end. And right before we see the worst of it we end up learning that Jessica, his mother, was a daughter of Baron Harkonnen. Jesus fuck.

there's definitely some Not Great elements about using ancestors/blood to determine morality but still

princess irulan was introduced! as an independent character and actor in her own right oh my god! although she still falls prey to the sexism infusing the original material

the dune books (at least the first two) are in this weird state where there are very strict and specific roles/walks of life that female characters are allowed in (domestic/family life and religion) and men dominate Everything Else and nobody every questions that, not to mention the whole thing about how apparently even the very female religion/psychic field is supposed to be dominated eventually by This One Man who can do it better than all the women, and yet all of the female characters are well-developed and feel like people. ykno aside from the complete lack of protest in being shoved into a sexist role

anyways irulan got more development than i remember from the books, i loved that, and that we got her POV too. these movies are really working to uplift and spotlight the female perspectives that were often somewhat sidelined in the books and i love that

also stilgar's (blind?) faith REALLY came through which i liked

overall, yeah, the movie was great. it's very faithful to the spirit of Dune while addressing some of its flaws/datedness--it understands what its message is and what it's saying, and the way it's constructed really hammers home the critiques of imperialism and racism the original was built on

I think this is gonna end up a trilogy, based on only the first book, and it very much seems like the third (and final?) movie is going to specifically focus on the war against the Great Houses after the Emperor falls, which iirc was kinda glossed over in the book/between Dune and Dune: Messiah. I can't wait to see what they do with it

#dune #dune part two #dune part 2 #dune part two spoilers #dune part 2 spoilers #dune 2 spoilers #dune 2 #also that one poster where it's paul and chani walking forward with the sun to their backs and chani is VISIBLY IN FRONT OF PAUL #frank herbert could never

[hollowtones]

first yiik impressions?

Hi. Thanks for your message. I've been thinking about this for days. I wrote paragraphs. Here you go!

Everyone talks up how the game is bad, but I've never looked into it much myself, so I went in with an expectation along the lines of "people whose opinions I often agree with think it was an awful mess, I'll likely think something similar". Expectations were low. Even then I wasn't really ready.

"YIIK" is a game of tedium. I don't think it's a game about tedium, that's something different (though it could be, if it was a different video game altogether; "what if the world was made of pudding" etc). To some degree I think the tedium is by design but I'm not really sure what it's in service of.

I don't think tedium in a video game is a bad thing. "Morrowind" and "Breath of the Wild" are two video games I like very much, and some of my favourite memories of those games are of slowly wandering through empty expanses, or having to suddenly deal with equipment degrading or supplies dwindling because I forgot to prepare. Moments like that feel thoughtful! They're interesting moments of reprieve or of tension that feel thoughtfully and intentionally designed! "YIIK" feels like trudging through chest-deep molasses so it can shout "hey did you know you're stuck in my molasses right now? that's weird, why are you stuck in my molasses right now? did you notice?" directly into your ear.

You'll notice this is a pattern.

Combat is turn-based and involves completing little minigames, timing button prompts or hitting targets or some such. It's a cute idea that wears out its welcome when you start realizing how long every single one takes to resolve, especially when you have multiple party members, and sometimes multiple enemies (I'm told this part specifically gets more egregious as the game goes on). I don't think it's awful or unsalvageable but I'm not super into it as of the point we're at.

This is a pattern.

Leveling up is a manual process that you have to unlock, and it involves going to a save point (any save point? we didn't check), to enter the Mind Dungeon, to enter the actual Mind Dungeon, to walk down a set of stairs and enter individual doors one-by-one, so that you can choose how you want to allocate stat increases, so that you can walk down a different set of stairs to commit your choices and spend your banked experience to level up. I think "you can only power up at specific points / times / locations" and the granularity of stat growth are interesting ideas, and the environment they made for it are a charming idea, and I don't think it needed to be a "Hotel Mario" level that you had to slowly walk through. It could have been a menu. They could have used the resources for a nice background or backdrop for a menu that accomplishes the same thing.

This is a pattern.

I haven't really mentioned anything about the story or writing yet. The protagonist's name is Alex and he's a very self-important nerdy misanthropic dickhead white man (a very specific kind of guy that I've definitely met at least once or twice) who is obsessed with a paranormal message board populated by people like him and desperate to find out more about the disappearance of a woman he witnessed. (The woman & her disappearance are based on the real life death of Elisa Lam & aren't handled with a whole lot of tact, IMO, but other people have put this into better words than I can right now. It sucks. It keeps coming up and it makes me bristle every time.) Alex is a bad person. I know he is. You know he is. The game knows he is. I've seen some reviews say a negative point of the game is "the main characters aren't likeable", which I don't really get, because that's the point of the characters, as far as I can tell. The issue, then, is how much time the game takes to exposit at you how bad the characters are. It's exhausting. Every time Alex has a monologue, it feels like it sums up to 10 minutes of "I am a bad person. I am a bad person. Alex is a bad person. This character is a bad person. Do you get it? He's a bad person. Alex is a bad person. Do you understand yet, player? Alex is a bad person. You should know that he's a bad person. Do you get it?"

This is a pattern.

(I don't know how interested I am in bringing up the game's lead writer right now, if at all, but there's a well-known anecdote where he talks about wanting to write a story about a bad person who is forced to grapple with himself and do better, and how the reason why his game wasn't well-received was because people who play video games didn't get it & weren't ready for a story like that. I dunno. I can understand being upset about negative reception to something you poured time and sweat into, and saying something hasty because of it. "Final Fantasy 4" is a beloved RPG classic, though, and "Disco Elysium" came out the same year to overwhelming praise. I haven't played either of these yet, though, so I'll admit maybe I'm off the mark here.)

The characters we've met so far (i.e. the ones that aren't unnamed NPCs) are… well. There's a smarmy younger kid who idolizes(?) Alex & also made the aforementioned paranormal website. So far it seems like he mostly exists to go "hey fuck you Alex, you dickhead" and immediately say something even more insensitive. There's the insensitive based-on-a-real=ass-dead-woman elevator woman, who immediately disappeared from the narrative while still being an essential part of the narrative. There was a dead(?) robot in a bedroom, who had a choir of ominous hooded people monologue about how weird and sad and strange and uncanny the scene is. What the!? There's a woman who works at the arcade and has Powers. Her design's cute. (I feel like, generally, the game's visuals are Fine. The audio, too. That all ranges from Just Fine to Surprisingly Neat. I don't really have much issue with those aspects of the game, but I don't have much to say about them either.) Alex and Kid Whose Name I Didn't Care To Remember are constantly very uncomfortable to her, because she's a woman and because she isn't white, in the 15 or so minutes we've seen her on-screen, and she gets to tell them off, but then immediately kind of goes "well whatever I can smile and put up with this and hang out with you". It feels misogynistic. I know to some degree Alex is misogynistic on purpose, because the game is bludgeoning your skull in and yelling "ALEX IS SHITTY TO WOMEN! AND PEOPLE OF COLOUR! DO YOU GET IT? HE'S SELF ABSORBED IN A SHITTY WAY! DO YOU GET IT, PLAYER? YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALEX SUCKS ASS YET? MAYBE 10 MORE MINUTES OF THIS WILL MAKE IT CLICK?" But for a woman of colour (the only one we've seen so far who isn't Probably Just Dead) to finally tell him off for being a shithead, only to turn around and go "well it's ok, you're cool now, let's hang out now because it's narratively convenient and you're the protagonist" is pretty damn egregious!

This is a pattern.

Writing in general feels stilted and long-winded. Most of the main characters feel like they don't talk like people do. Alex gets to feel like a person but that's mostly because he gets to talk to himself so damn much. Most of his monologues feel like overly flowery prose, like someone padded it out with identical adjectives to meet a school essay word count. There's an interesting idea or premise or setpiece every now and then. There's a spark. A glint of something compelling. Every single time this has happened so far I find it immediately snuffed out by an over-blown "oh my god!!!!!!! how weird!!!!!!', or a very long plot dump, or a Joss Whedon-ass quip. There can be no small moment of joy. No story element or visual element can stand on its own legs. There can be no room for ideas to breathe. No space for the player to wonder, to dream, to play in the space. The narrative is compelled to suffocate iself on itself, to take up all space, to swallow itself whole in its making. One very minor (so far?) side character has some interesting dialogue in this one dream world, and I think "oh that's neat", and then I learn they're lines taken wholesale from a book (and I think that's fine, reference is fine, but I have a bit of a chuckle over the fact that this character is the reason why the game has a giant REFERENCES option in the main menu). The literal first minute of the game is a bird telling you "oh my god, the title of this game, right? why'd they spell it like that? so fucking dumb, am I right!" It feels insecure. It reads like the writing has no confidence in itself. It has to make a comment about how silly and video-gamey it is, roll its eyes at itself, mock itself for the thing it's doing while continuing to do it without addressing it or discussing it or doing anything with it.

This is a pattern.

There's a specific part of "YIIK", at this early point in the game (we're only around the start[?] of chapter 2), that feels emblematic of the thing as a whole up to this point. Alex is getting phone calls from a stranger. They're confusing and weird and sound a little like something you might hear in a dream. They make references to some shared past, some childhood, some understanding of Alex, or maybe of you, the player. They've come up a few times. Every single time, I'm left thinking about what it could mean, how it fits in with everything we've seen so far & what the game seems to be talking about, with regards to connecting to other people and to yourself. It's a neat little thing. It's a neat idea. I'm charmed by it. As much as my thoughts on this game are largely negative, I still try to look at it fairly, to understand it, to talk about it, to let myself be surprised by it. As soon as I find myself thinking about this, my thoughts are immediately drowned out by Alex telling me how weird the phone call is, how random and uncanny and dumb this is, and how he's rolling his proverbial eyes about it, in spite of all the other paranormal happenings around him, for another period of Just Too Long. And I am sapped of all strength and I crumble to dust.

I'm genuinely transfixed. I'm transfixed! Maybe the fact that I wrote Paragraphs about the 4-or-5 hours I've seen of the game can tell you as much, even if you skip everything I wrote in them.

I can't wait to see more.

This, too, is a pattern.

[artbyblastweave]

Okay, Time for that belated Shrinking Rae post-

In the comics, Shrinking Ray's "arc" (bearing in mind an extremely liberal definition of that term, they had exactly one scene showcasing this) was that he was implied to be developing an inferiority complex; he's not necessarily incompetent, but he's out of his niche, his clever shrinking-based plans kept getting upstaged by brute-force solutions from the more conventionally powerful heroes like Invincible. He's the scrawny, nerdy little guy with the joke powers, he never gets a win, and in most fights he literally isn't visible. In the fight with the Lizard League his death is framed as pathetic and ineffectual- there's one or two panels between "I'll make you pay!" and getting eaten alive by Komodo. All of this is doing a couple of things- it's emphasizing that again, this is in fact a story and setting where superheroes sometimes just die really badly with limited fanfare- a thing that IIRC hadn't happened since the original Guardians team wipe in issue 7. Second, it's an indicator that the new Guardians are structurally kind of on the ropes. They're heavily staffed by second stringers, they exact second they have to split their forces they suffer a 66 percent casualty rate, and that's with backing from two capes who aren't actually part of the team. Grim! Anyway, when they do the adaptation Shrinking Ray becomes Shrinking Rae, because they want to tweak the gender balance of the cast and the pun is too good to pass up. But I think that there was a reasonable reluctance to transfer the "arc" from the comics one-to-one, because to be blunt, "Ineffectual Nebbish Glasses-wearer who whines a lot and dies pathetically," paired with absolutely nothing else, is gonna read as misogynistic if the character is a woman now. So in the adaptation Rae is markedly more competent. We're introduced to her taking down a much larger opponent by fucking around inside his ear canal, which becomes a favored trick of hers. There are traces of the self-esteem thing- the visual gag where she physically shrinks about a foot when getting chewed out in the briefing- but the overall throughline isn't "look at this loser who somehow ended up on the guardians." In the Lizard League fight, she doesn't get eaten- she's deliberately trying to execute a Thanus maneuver and just fucks it up, seconds after successfully killing a different villain the same way. And there's a second where it looks like it might work, too, before hope is cruelly yanked away. Which makes for a markedly cooler death scene- but who died? What was actually going on with her? Anything? In some sense she's cooler, but it's kind of an undifferentiated cool. She had what, Six lines? Seven? On balance I think Rae is still doing her fundamental job in the story, which is to pad the Guardians roster for a while and have someone who actually dies and stays dead as a result of the Lizard League fight- but I think they definitely missed an opportunity to give her some more texture than her comic counterpart had. Part of me thinks that the show would have been a good place to go even harder on Shrinking Rae being in over her head, but in a considered way, to emphasize that the Guardians aren't well managed- maybe tie it into the tensions between Robot and Immortal regarding sustainable team management practices. Part of me thinks you should go the other way, that if you're gonna do away with the idea she's underwhelming you should blow up her role, have her actually say and do some things that affect the story or the team dynamic in any noticeable way, because as it stands she's kind of visibly siloed as the designated mauve shirt. I'm definitely of one mind that this showcases something I suspected was gonna bite the show in the ass, which is that they're (laudably) diversifying a secondary and tertiary cast whose main role in the source material is often to die badly or fade out of focus.

#invincible #shrinking rae #invincible spoilers #thoughts #meta #invincible comic #invincible season 2 episode 5 #800 words of meta on a character with six lines and a brooklyn accent jumpscare

[pacifymebby]

Mmm those pb cuddle thots were so good!! If you aren’t too busy with requests would you be able to fit in a dark!peaky blinders x reader who’s been spending time with a childhood friend and the men get a bit territorial? Maybe the reader tries to explain the situation but is just completely shut down? Thanks a lot xoxo

Disclaimer: characters are dark! On purpose etc, the hc's might be upsetting/disturbing. Definitely abusive relationships.

Tommy

🌿 Naively, and in your rush of excitement at having discovered your childhood friend survived the war, you tell Tommy about your old friend.

🌿There is also a little part of you that wants to test the waters, to perhaps force the sometimes cold Tommy Shelby into showing you more affection by showing him that you have potential other options...

🌿This is of course a big mistake, huge. If you weren't aware quite how obsessive and possessive your Tommy is over you then it's only because he's been trying very hard to keep his darkness hidden. He didn't want to scare you off, not too soon.

🌿 But now you've spent almost every evening this week "catching up" with your old childhood friend and Tommy's head is spinning with paranoid thoughts he just can't ignore or swallow down any longer.

🌿 But he's far too smart to lash out, too smart to take his paranoia out on you... he knows why you're doing it. He knows you're trying to make him jealous and to him that's a very good thing indeed because if you're trying to make him jealous that means you want him. It means you'd still choose him over your old friend in a heartbeat...

🌿 Still, best to make sure you never have to make that choice.

🌿 He definitely spies on you. Ever since you met Tommy you've felt as though you're never quite completely alone. Even at night when you're asleep in your bed. You always feel as though someone's watching you. You've always convinced yourself it's Tommy "watching over you" like your guardian angel. Now however the feeling has intensified. Ever since you mentioned your friend you've felt almost claustrophobic whenever you've been out with your childhood friend.

🌿 and that's because you've never once been alone with your childhood friend. Tommy's always been somewhere near by, keeping tabs on you. He would tell you it was for your own protection, would tell you it was because he couldn't live with himself if something happened to you because he wasn't there for you...

🌿 But if that's true its only half the story. The main reason he's been following your childhood friend is to try and deduce this mans motive. Tommy is deeply suspicious, no man would ever spend this much time with a woman he didn't have intentions on... Tommy is absolutely convinced that your childhood friend wants to be more than friends.

🌿 He gets so quietly angry about this, he feels deeply wounded inside that the world would deal him this potential betrayal, but if the devil works hard, Tommy Shelby works harder...

🌿 He considers killing your friend in cold blood. Decides this would be too messy, too risky... It would break your heart and you'd certainly hate and fear Tommy more than he could stand... Then he considers the many different "tragic accidents" that could wipe your childhood friend off the face of this earth... A sudden and untimely death however could potentially seal this old friend inside your heart forever, perhaps not all of your heart, but a part of it could end up devoted to the memory of what could have been. It could leave you questioning your whole life, could mean you drift away from Tommy in your heartbreak instead of closer to him... And even if you didn't drift away, even if you came back to him twice as devoted and adoring as before, he could never be quite sure that you weren't still thinking fondly of your untainted childhood friend who came back for a moment from the war.

🌿 No, the only thing that will settle Tommy's crazed mind is to hear you say you hate your friend, to see the betrayal in your eyes, to see you realise that the only person you can trust is Tommy. The only person in the world it's safe to put your heart into is Tommy.

🌿 So rather than kill your friend himself or see him taken care of another way, Tommy sets about devising an intricate plot, which plays out like his own personally constructed soap opera.

🌿 First he plants the seeds of doubt, rumours which spread through the market and around the pubs, about the long lost soldier who has recently returned from the dead, about the atrocities he committed during the war... The people he killed - not just the enemy but women, children... The violent and sadistic things he did to the women unfortunate enough to cross his cursed path.

🌿 Then he starts leaving you alone with your friend, that claustrophobic feeling disappears but you don't feel relieved. You feel scared. You feel increasingly nervous in the presence of your friend who's every intimate move - a hand on your hand perhaps - feels like a warning, like a threat...

🌿 Then Tommy escalates things, the rumours get more detailed, he goes, worried, to one of your friends, tells her he's heard all these terrible things about your friend, that you've spent so much time with this dark stranger and he's worried about your safety... He'd tell her that he's scared to talk to you about it himself because he doesn't want to come off the way some men do... Paranoid and possessive. He respects your freedom...

🌿 So it's your friend who begs you not to spend anymore time with your old friend, and when she retells of all Tommy's fears your heart is not only touched that your man cares so much, but so so relieved because for days now you've been nothing but desperate for someone to save you from your friend, because the rumours have finally gotten to your head and you're convinced that your friend is going to do something terrible one of these days.

🌿 Your running back to Tommy however isn't quite enough to reassure him. He also goads your friend into attacking him, somewhere in public so that everyone sees the insane act of paranoid violence against him. Your childhood friend is dragged practically foaming at the mouth away from Tommy, shouting about how Tommy wants to hurt you, how Tommy is insane, evil in fact.

🌿 Tommy has to fight to keep the smirk off his face as he watches your friend dragged out of the Garrison and thrown in all him shame out into the street.

🌿 All the while youre clinging onto Tommy, your arms thrown around him, tears in your eyes because you could have lost him.

Alfie

🐻 Before Alfie ever actually spoke to you himself he researched you thoroughly. It took him a couple of weeks to trace your family tree, know your life story, even the intricate details and the secrets you believed yourself to be taking to the grave.

🐻 And so he knows about your childhood best friend. Actually he knows everything about the man who used to walk you to and from school every morning like a nauseating little lap dog...

🐻 Only one person's ever doted on you more than that lad and it's Alfie... so when he hears you mention the name of this old friend he feels sick.

🐻 This man is younger than Alfie, he's softer, better looking than Alfie, healthier than Alfie, he's been in your life so much longer than Alfie...

🐻 And because Alfie feels threatened as he does by this old friend, that darkness he's always trying to hide from you, takes over, like storm clouds passing over slowly. His paranoia and his need to possess you completely spreads it's roots even deeper inside him until he can't ignore the feverous certainty that you are in grave danger...

🐻 In Alfie's mind he is the only man who can protect you from the evils of the world, he genuinely believes that if you leave his side you will die, that something terrible and tragic will happen to you, a grave curse only he can save you from.

🐻 And this old friend could end up being the reason you leave him, therefore this old friend, as far as Alfie is concerned, is going to kill you.

🐻And Alfie only has one way of dealing with people who threaten his little ziskeit...

🐻 However Alfie knows that if he kills him in front of you you'll be devastated, maybe even sympathetic to this undeserving intruder, so he devises a plot to get the three of you together...

🐻 Alfie uses his men from the bakery to spread word around Camden that he's looking for a wanted man, your childhood friend because this lowlife outsider has designs on Alfie's girl... Let's the whole town know exactly what he wants to do to this cunt when he gets his hands on him...

🐻 He's trying to lure your friend out, trying to scare your friend in exactly the right way - because he knows your old friend better than you do and he knows exactly how to goad him into a fight... A fight he just won't win.

🐻 Alfie makes sure that when the confrontation happens you're there with him, that when your friend sees Alfie and immediately bites, crazed by his fear of the gangster and the rumours he's heard, you are there to witness everything which goes down.

🐻 And it all plays out exactly as Alfie planned... Alfie ever calm and apparently innocent, your childhood friend practically rabid, violent and threatening in his panic.

🐻 So certain that the situation is kill or be killed your childhood friend will race to draw a weapon first, previously a pacifist your friend had bought a gun to protect himself when he heard what Alfie was planning...

🐻 So he draws his weapon, terrifying you... You scream, grasping for his arm begging him not to shoot Alfie... Alfie remains calm, "Now what on earths possessed you to get that out eh?"

🐻 "You!" Your friend is practically panting, his adrenaline shaking his whole body, there's tears in his eyes... It's the most pathetic sight Alfie's ever seen. You're still petrified that something awful is going to happen, you know Alfie doesn't take threats lightly so you're begging your friend to put the gun away, begging Alfie not to react...

🐻 Your friend starts growling and stuttering out his words, "I know what you want! I know what you're here for! I ain't goin down without a fight... I'm a fuckin man aren't I..."

🐻 "A fight?" Gasps Alfie, "you think I wanna fight you? Sunshine I don't even fuckin know you..."

🐻 "You think I want y/n, you think I'm gonna steal her away..." he carries on but Alfie just shakes his head and tells you to stop crying, that everything's going to be alright, that your friend isn't going to do anything... "Are you mate?"

🐻 Your friends arm is shaking as he continues holding the gun out threatening Alfie... And Alfie wants nothing more than to put a bullet through the stupid cunts face but he knows that in the long run, patience and mercy will be worth the sacrifice of blood thirsty satisfaction.

🐻 "Now listen here mate, I don't know whats possessin you right, some malady or demonic force I imagine yeah, but I promise you right, hand on heart that I don't know you yeah... But clearly right, clearly you are a friend of my dear y/n right, and as you can see your gun yeah, and well you as a matter of fact, are fuckin terrifyin her ain't you... My poor girls sobbing her heart out because of you right and I don't like that, I'm sure you don't like it either do you mate... So, why don't you put the gun down yeah, take a couple deep breaths yeah..."

🐻 But your friends heard about Alfie's double crossing ways and this apparent kindness only spooks him more, now he's more convinced than ever that Alfie is going to kill him... In his desperation he shoves you forward towards Alfie so that you go stumbling into him, if it wasn't for Alfie catching you you'd have fallen to the ground in a heap...

🐻 But Alfie wraps an arm around you protectively, tucks you under his coat and soothes you gently. All the while your friend is denouncing you as his friend, "I don't want her Alfie I promise, whatever you've heard it ain't true she don't mean anything to me, nothin I promise..."

🐻 hearing all this breaks your heart, you're sobbing into Alfie's shirt whilst Alfie reassures you not to listen to your friend, that he's clearly having some kind of episode, that no one in their right mind would say those things about you, especially not to him.

🐻 And then Alfie does what no one would expect him to, he shows the man mercy. "Now like I said yeah, you are clearly very dear to my y/n and I can see yeah that you are clearly experiencing high levels of severe distress so, I'm gonna forgive you yeah, as long as you put that gun away now and stop waving it at me and my y/n, I'm gonna forgive you for threatening me just now, for wanting to kill me right... And I don't know what you've heard about me mate but I reckon you know forgiveness ain't usually my strong point so... Id put that gun away now if I were you and I'd say thank you too..."

🐻 When your friend flees Alfie is left to do exactly what he'd hoped, to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, to soothe and comfort you, he takes you home, holds you in his arms all night and reassures you over and over that he will always care about, always treasure and love you...

🐻 in a few months time your old friend will have been found to have killed himself, and although you'll be heartbroken, Alfie will be there to comfort you and ultimately his plan will succeed because you'll be driven closer to him, more dependent on him than ever.

Arthur

🍂 You know about Arthur's temper and you know he can be a little quick to jump to conclusions so, when your old friend comes back to Birmingham you know to keep your meetings to yourself.

🍂 You don't want to make Arthur jealous because you know he's already jealous of every man who so much as looks at you...

🍂 But it's impossible to keep secrets from Arthur without keeping them from everyone else too and in Small Heath it's impossible for a Blinder's girl to go anywhere without being seen by every man and his bloody dog... the women at the market gossip and every house has eyes always watching you... and absolutely no one in Small Heath would be stupid enough to keep a secret from Arthur.

🍂 So it doesn't take long for him to find out. A young blinder tells him that he's seen you out walking with a stranger, a man around your age that they don't recognise...

🍂 Arthur will be a deadly combination of humiliated (because a young, practically nothing blinder has delivered news of his girls betrayal) confused (because he thought you only had eyes for him, thought you were in love, that you needed him) and angry, with you, with himself and with the stranger..

🍂 He'd grab the young lad by the scruff of his shirt, already beginning to lose his mind "Where, where the fuck did you see her? You're fuckin wrong she wouldn't do that to me!"

🍂 He'd want desperately to deny the fact, want madly for it all to be a misunderstanding but he isn't trusting and he knows deep in his heart that this stranger is trying to steal you away from him. That he has to get rid of him before it's too late...

🍂 He's so hurt too, deeply wounded because he very easily believes that you've betrayed him, that you're plotting to run away from him, that all this time you've been lying to him, that you've made a fool of him, that you think he's a useless idiot...

🍂 And of course none of it is really true. The stranger is just an old friend you wanted to catch up with, he's nothing to you and doesn't compare to your Arthur in the slightest... That's why you hadn't bothered to mention your meeting to Arthur, because you didn't want him to end up wound up over something that means nothing...

🍂 When Arthur finds out where you are there's no stopping him. He storms through town, his head spinning with wild jealous thoughts. By the time he gets to you he's red in the face, veins bulging in his temple, he can barely see for the red he's seeing. He's shaking with rage...

🍂 And he walks into the little cafe on the river bank at the wrong moment, just in time to see your friend reach to take your hand. Now if he'd waited just a moment longer Arthur would have seen you remove their hand from yours, would have seen you smile politely and reject their advances.

🍂 But he didn't wait, instead propelling himself forward at such a pace that the force with which he knocked into your friend was enough to topple the chair he was sitting in and send the two tumbling to the floor in a wild heap, a tangle of arms and legs as Arthur begins to beat the life out of your friend.

🍂 He's like a wild animal, his brain a haze of red, completely out of control. He barely even knows what he's doing himself, only that he can't stop. Only that he doesn't want to stop.

🍂 Your friends long dead when Arthur is dragged off him by his brothers who just didn't get their in time. You're on the floor at your friends side, sobbing your heart out, and when John comes to your side, his hand on your back to try and soothe you he realises you've slipped into a strange state of shock. Only half there as you stand with him and let him take you home.

🍂 When Arthur realises what he's done he's devastate, not exactly for having murdered your friend but for having lost control in front of you the way that he did. You're terrified of him now, his brothers keep telling him to leave you for a little while, to give you time to understand what happened, to grieve, but Arthur can't leave you alone...

🍂 He keeps knocking on your door begging you to let him in and in the end you do, not because you're ready to forgive him but because despite everything you still care about him, he's just a human after all, and you know he means it when he says he's nothing left to live for if you won't see him. That if you don't let him in he'll throw himself in the cut like his mother.

🍂 So you let him in and when you see what a state he's in, how hollowed out he looks, how ghostly and unwell he appears your heart breaks for him. When it comes to Arthur you've always stuck around because you were sure you could fix him, that all he really needs is a gentle woman who he can trust, who can show him forgiveness. You know you'd be letting yourself down, betraying yourself if you refused him now.

🍂 So despite everything you devote yourself to him even more. You won't make the mistake of keeping secrets from him again.

John

🌼 You and John have been friends since you were children and he's always been proud of that. Of being the man who's known you the longest, who knows you best. You grew up together, it was always you and him against the room...

🌼 Except this isn't exactly true, John's edited the truth, warped his memories to suit his delusions and your childhood as you rember it is a little different. You were a popular girl, popular with the boys too and John was not your only friend, you had another. One you thought had died in the war, one who, when you find out is still alive, you're giddy with happiness.

🌼 You tell John, elated as you are, expecting him to be happy too, expecting him to be just as thrilled as you are but when you tell him the smile he offers you doesn't reach his eyes and you're confused.

🌼See there's a reason you believed your friend to be dead and that reason is John. Its just one of many little "white" lies he's told you over the years to keep you from thinking of anyone but him.

🌼 So John's quietly furious you've discovered that your friend is alive, he'd always known this old friend was a threat, he's resented him since childhood because he's always been "in the way" and just when John thought things were finally going along roses with you and him this friend has returned to drive a wedge between the two of you once again.

🌼 John knows what he should do, he should be outwardly happy, he should be happy that you're happy and he should be behaving as though he too is over the moon to find the friend he thought dead is really still living. He should be looking forward to the inevitable reunion.

🌼But he isn't, he's absolutely dreading it, every time he thinks of the prospect of watching you throw your arms around your old friend he starts dry heaving, a deep and crazed panic gripping him. Dark John is deeply insecure and he knows that good girls like you don't stay with evil men like him, men who will ultimately destroy you...

🌼 But he won't let you go and as the day draws nearer and nearer that the two of you will be reunited with your old childhood friend John's thoughts grow darker and darker, ever despairing. The dream world he constructed for the two of you, in which it had only ever been him and you, together until the end, the only two people in the world, this world is falling apart piece by piece. His whole reality, warped as it may have been is being threatened and he feels himself coming apart at the seems.

🌼All those false memories he constructed, the time He rescued you from those bullies in the school playground, the day he taught you how to skim pebbles... he's being forced to remember the true memories, the memories in which that old friend got inbetween you, taking the stone from John's hand to show you how to do it right, pulling John from the fight to play the chivalrous pacifist...

🌼 John can hardly sleep, he feels like half of himself has been ripped from the other and he can't stand the pain...

🌼 So he goes crazy and one day you come home from town to find him waiting for you at the kitchen table, his gun in his hands. When he points it at you, tells you he can't live to lose you, can't let you love anyone else, you don't know what to do...

🌼 You're stunned, you'd never expected him to be this kind of despairing, this kind of heartbroken but you can see in his bloodshot teary eyes that he means it and you're really not sure you're going to live to see another sunrise...

Bonnie

🍀Bonnie's whole world revolves around you, you are the reason he gets up in the morning and the reason he sleeps comfortably every night. He adores you and it's been this way ever since he first laid eyes on you. He's planned his whole life around you and every night he lies in bed imagining your future together. All the children he's going to give you, your wedding day, how he's going to be the most devoted husband...

🍀Nothing else in the world has ever given him more joy or hope... you're even the reason he wants to be a successful boxer, why he's so determined to be the champion of the world one day... not just to impress you but to ensure he's able to dote on you the way you deserve

🍀But, because he's so completely devoted to you, his obsession with you leads to some pretty deep insecurities... he's terrified of losing you, terrified that you won't want him, won't see him as good enough...

🍀So when a new family joins your travelling convoy and Bonnie finds that you and one lad from this new family go back years, longer than you and Bonnie, his heart breaks.

🍀He immediately assumes that this is the end of your relationship, that if you don't already you're going to end up loving this boy more than you love Bonnie...

🍀He doesn't stick around to watch your reunion, he takes himself off on his own, into the woods so that he can cry his eyes out angry, heartbroken tears with no one to hear him. He knows he can't let you or anyone else see how upset he is because he knows it looks pathetic.

🍀It isn't actually in Bonnie's nature to be manipulative in the way someone like Tommy or Alfie is manipulative, he just isn't as clever, doesn't think so complexly about things... So Bonnie is at a total loss for what to do. He feels hopeless...

🍀But he knows he can't lose you, he knows that he won't be able to live with himself if he loses you, won't be able to live without you...

🍀So he returns from the woods once he's calmed down, presents you with a gift, a beautifully carved pendant which Bonnie made whilst he was away, he's stained the back of the charm with blood from the palm of his hand, "so that you'll always have a part of me with you..." You think it's a little intense but that's what your Bonnie is like, when he locks eyes with you you can see how deep his emotions run, how wildly his feelings rage inside him. That's why you love him, because he's vulnerable, because he's honest... Because no one's ever loved you so dramatically before.

🍀He feels better when he sees that you wear your pendant all the time, when you tell him that you even sleep in it... But this doesn't stop his jealousy and insecurity niggling away at his sanity... He can't hide how it upsets him when you choose to spend your day with your old friend and not with Bonnie

🍀He feels like you're slipping away from him, feels like he's being forced to share you and he doesn't like it. He gets teary eyed whenever you tell him you've been out with your friend, he struggles to swallow around the lump in his throat whenever he sees you laughing at one of your friends jokes. This is the most painful experience of Bonnie's life and he'd rather get knocked down in the ring every day for the rest of his life than have to watch you twirling your hair round your finger whilst you talk with this other friend...

🍀This makes him so much more possessive over you, he's constantly glued to you, always showering you in affection, always holding your hand or pulling you into his lap. He makes a show of picking you up and carrying you off when he thinks you've spent enough time talking to your friend. Definitely likes to snog you in front of your friend just to prove to himself that you're still his.

🍀Starts to fixate on getting rid of your old friend, instead of imagining that peaceful and happy future with you he now imagines tragic accidents which your friend could suffer, he imagines your friends family being driven away by some outside force

🍀 Bonnie wants your old friend gone but he doesn't want to do it himself, for now he manages to convince himself that his obsession with you is nothing unusual, that he's still completely sane... He knows that if he starts letting his mind wander towards thoughts of murder he might never come back from the dark, might lose himself to his obsession and lose you in the process.

🍀He will constantly be reminding you that it's "you an me against the world little dove," "can't trust nobody else, you and me against the world now and to the end of our days..."

🍀He has so much pent up anger that he's trying to swallow down, so much hatred and resentment for this intruder, that it's beginning to effect his fights... He can't concentrate anymore once he's in the ring, the hatred takes over and he sees red, he can't throw fights properly anymore because he's lost control. This starts to piss Tommy and Arthur off... Which leads to questions...

🍀Which leads to a strained but emotional confession, when he tries to pass it off as nothing, "some stupid bastards been gettin too close to my lass..." he receives some flippant advice which Bonnie takes a little too literally. "Well y'know what y'need to do then lad... Knock her up, put a ring on her finger so she ain't goin nowhere..."

🍀 Which is what he becomes determined to do... Brace yourself for some deeply passionate breeding because Bonnie isn't going to stop until he's given you more children than you can count on your hand.

🍀Ironically this is what you've wanted the whole time, your old childhood friend is nothing in comparison to Bonnie and you can't even begin to understand why Bonnie feels threatened. You're actually always trying to reassure him of this, always telling him how much you love him, there's just something about Bonnie though, he doesn't seem satisfied until he's buried inside you, you clinging onto him for dear life.

Isaiah

🐀Isaiah hates your friend from the second he's introduced to him. He doesn't like the way your friend looks at him, he doesn't like the way your friend looks at you, or the way he talks to you, or the way he dances with you... Isaiah hates everything about him and he makes no secret of that because he doesn't play the long game. Doesn't think about the consequences of his actions.

🐀He's so rude to this man, only ever gives him short disinterested answers in conversation, ignores him 90% of the time, pretends not to see him and accidentally bumps into him spilling some of his drink on your friends shirt.

🐀He's playing the intimidation game from the get go and is hellbent on making your friend feel as unwelcome and as uncomfortable as possible.

🐀 Whenever you get particularly upset about Isaiah's behaviour and question it he always has an answer for you. "Know you're too sweet to see it mousy but that friend of yours ain't really a friend... I know right cause I know how men think, I know what he really wants from you my pretty girl and it's disgusting..."

🐀 "Why does it matter, I don't want those things from him... I'm not interested like that... Obviously, and he knows that I'm with you, so he won't..." "That don't stop men like him darlin, you've gotta be careful, s'alright I'll make sure you're never left alone with him..."

🐀 And he keeps that promise devotionally. From the day that old friend turns up in town Isaiah is by your side constantly, you're never alone, your friend never really has an opportunity to talk to you or spend real time with you, not without Isaiah lurking like a raincloud near by, warning your friend off silently.

🐀"Fuckin hate that smug cunt bastard..." Is what Isaiah says to Michael the night your old childhood friend walks into the Garrison. Isaiah actually can't believe he's been stupid enough to come round here without you... but he has and Isaiah is more than pleased to finally have an opportunity to show the stupid prick how he really feels about him...

🐀 He's practically electric with excitement as he strolls up to the bar, stopping just behind your old friend, barely saying a word to the unsuspecting prick with the stupid fucking grin on his face before landing a sharp blow to his eye.

🐀 And once he's started it feels so good he doesn't want to stop...

🐀 And he doesn't kill him, he does something some would say is much worse... When his brain finally clears a little, just enough to start thinking about what he's doing he realises that the whole attack could earn your friend a whole lot of sympathy from you so

🐀 He stops, and just when your friends let out a sigh of relief Isaiah takes his peaky cap from his cap, takes the blade out and uses it, not to blind him but to castrate the man and cut his cock off. It's a bloody scene and Isaiah is only glad you aren't here to witness the mess he's made, but he knows that emasculating the bastard was the only way to stop you from ever falling for his charm. Isaiahs happy he's made him ugly enough that to look at him will give you nightmares.

🐀 Now after an experience like that your friend doesn't stick around, he leaves town as soon as he can, and he leaves town too humiliated to explain his departure to you...

🐀and you hear things through the rumour mill about what really happened that night at the Garrison but you can't bring yourself tj believe it. Not when Isaiah has always been so charming and good to you, so sweet...

🐀 And of course after the incident Isaiah made much more of an effort to layer the tenderness and affection on thick with you, he's been ever so sweet, spent so much time with you, hardly ever lets you out of his sight, or reach...

🐀 And you don't really want to ask him if it's true, it would feel cruel, asking someone as loving and sweet as Isaiah if he butchered someone and left them for dead... So you're always left wondering, a tiny doubt in your mind always questioning what really happened to your friend.

🐀But Isaiah knows what happened to him because he had Bonnie trail him for several weeks to find out exactly where he fled to, to threaten him once more so that he'd stay quiet. Isaiah doesn't need the police turning up on your door, and he certainly doesn't need your friend ever returning... Not that he'll last long if he does.

Michael

☘️ Doesnt think twice, he has your friend killed the very day that you first mention him.

☘️Michael isn't going to take risks, not when it comes to you and although he knows he's rich enough, good looking enough to keep you happy, he's always worried that someone else might catch your eye...

☘️ And an old childhood friend, someone who's got all that history with you, someone you knew before you knew Michael, someone who could remind you what life before Michael and all his rules, all his possessive demands and paranoia was like, well... Michael can't risk anyone breaking the harmony you live in because he understands what a fine balance it is...

☘️ So, when you show him a letter from your friend at breakfast Michael begins making plans. He memorises the address on the letter and goes off to work having given you a deeper, more passionate kiss than usual. He also lies to you about how he needs you to stay home today, to keep yourself hidden inside the house where it's safe because there's something dangerous going on with Tommy and his cousins that he's worried you'll get wrapped up in...

☘️ And because he has you wrapped around his little finger you believe him, you do exactly as he says, you close all the curtains and keep yourself hidden away from the world for the day, locked up in your house exactly where he wants you to stay. If anyone knocks the door you pretend not to be home... The only person who sees you and you see all day is Michael. Which is the way he would keep things permanently if he could...

☘️ You're worried about him, worried what could be happening to him at work, whether someone threatening him, whether he's going to make it home to you alive, and you're feeling so lucky that you have him, that he's always there working to protect you and keep you safe, so you spend all day baking a delicious apple pie for him when he gets home...

☘️Michael really didn't need to worry about your friend, if he'd asked you not to see him you probably would have done as he told you because he has the wool thick and firm over your eyes, you're as deluded about Michael as he is about you.

☘️When he returns home he's got blood on his shirt and you rush to check him for injuries, ever the doting little lamb, you help bathe him and you help get rid of the shirt which is stained. Michael notices how you even get a little teary eyed when you tell him how you were so worried all day, when you tell him how much you love him.

☘️"Don't know how I'd live you Michael," "You wouldn't love, you know that..."

☘️ You help dress him, kissing his chest as you button his shirt, kissing his neck as you straighten his collar, you're so blindly in love with you and Michael can't help smirk as your lips on his body remind him of the brutal act he committed only hours before. How he stabbed your friend in the heart, how he slit his throat...

☘️But you're blissfully unaware and that night you can't stop gazing lovingly across the table at your hero and protector as he tucks into the pie you baked especially for him.

☘️ But this whole threat has certainly shaken Michael, warned him that there are threats he needs to anticipate in future, things he needs to make sure he doesn't have to worry about...

☘️ So he turns the adoration up a notch, spoils you with even more fancy gifts, pieces of exquisite jewelry, gorgeous silk dresses, lingerie he dresses you up in and calls you all sorts of adoring names, he makes extra time to spend with you...

☘️ And of course he realises that now is the time to propose to you, a gorgeous diamond ring to slip onto your finger and show everyone that you're his now and forever, so that any potential threats are scared away, know that they could never offer you the wealth and luxury that Michael does.

☘️ But you only have eyes for Michael, and he's got you wrapped so tightly round his finger that he's all you ever think about, when you look up at him it's like your brain turns to cotton wool. You're completely devoted to him.

☘️ So when you read about the brutal attack on your old friend, when you read when it happened, you don't even make the connection, don't even remember that that was the very same day you read your letter to Michael, that that was the day Michael came home covered in blood... You're sad about your friend but never once does it occur to you that your great hero could have had anything to do with it.

Sorry these took so long, they were really fun to write though forgot how fun writing insane people is!!!!

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#peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders imagines #bonnie gold x reader #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders headcanon #dark! peaky blinders #dark tommy shelby