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tomboyneedshercoffee · 4 years

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Lovedust Pt.5 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N invites Josh over to work on a project while Peter goes back to his Spiderman duties which sends Y/N into a spiral.

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: WOWIE I really stayed up all night to finish this ha. Anyway! This gives more backstory about Y/N and what happened with her biological parents and ughhhh things are moving yall! Also leave comments if it’s good and if it’s bad also leave comments 🥰

Warnings: Mention of blood, death, panic attack, ANGST

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six ||

part seven || part eight || epilogue

Even though the Avengers Complex was your home, it was much more than a place where you crashed after school. You had to keep in mind that to any normal person, the idea of seeing alien technology in use or friends from galaxies away wasn’t an average Thursday.

You never thought any of this was particularly strange until now as you got the text from Josh that he was parked in the back lot of the building like you had told him to.

Since you and Josh were partners for anatomy, you thought it would be obvious that you would be staying at his house to work on your project but your dad had other ideas.

The sheer thought of you going to a boy’s house to “study” was absurd, especially since Josh’s parents were always out of town for business. You never thought your dad would ever let any of your friends into the complex, especially a boy but in the name of science, it wasn’t too hard to convince him.

You quietly opened the side door as Josh slid in behind you and let out a low whistle.

“ Not too shabby Stark, although I gotta say, the lawn is looking a bit wild,” Josh smiled as he readjusted his backpack straps,” if you need me to come over to cut it, I charge $9.00 an hour.”

“ In that case, your first shift starts next week,” You teased as you led him to the main set of elevators in the building.

You couldn’t help but feel on edge as Josh followed close behind you. You had never brought anyone over and you were scared that bringing Josh would make things turn into a big deal. You knew how protective some of the other Avengers were of you and you just prayed silently that you wouldn’t run into any of them, especially Peter.

You weren’t sure how Peter would take it if he found out you and Josh were getting closer.

Peter was in a fragile state and who knew what little thing could set him off. You were even more worried that Peter would find out about the party tomorrow night because it wasn’t like you could invite him along.

The idea of mixing hormonal teenagers and alcohol was a recipe for disaster but the damage that could be made from Peter’s self-destructive state could be even bigger.

As much as you knew how badly things could turn out with Josh in the complex, you knew you couldn’t let Peter’s actions affect what went on in your academic life and at the end of the day, Josh was just a classmate.

Josh looked all around him, taking in everything from the colorful array of gadgets neatly built into the walls to the natural light coming from the sleek windows.

“ I feel so out of place- am I underdressed?” Josh asked as a few lab technicians walked past giving you and Josh an odd glance,” and how do you not get lost in a place this big.”

You pressed the elevator button and gave Josh a reassuring smile,” Trust me, they’ve seen weirder things around here. Like, way weirder things.”

When the elevator doors opened, the two of you walked in and you started pointing to the elevator buttons,” So a quick tour! We’re on the main floor which basically is used for important meetings and conferences, the second floor is for the gym and pool, the third is where some of the bedrooms are, fourth is strictly for the scientists, the fifth is the labs, and the other floors are for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Also, the basement has all the cool gadgets I’m not allowed to play with but I’m convinced it’s just where the guys all hang out and drink.”

“ You have an indoor pool?”

“ That’s what caught your attention?” You laughed as Josh nodded enthusiastically.

“ Well yeah! Do you even use it? I vaguely remember that when you were twelve, you almost drowned in 4ft water at someone’s pool party,” Josh said as you pressed the third button.

“ It was 5ft but yes I know how to swim...my dad made me take lessons after that,” You mumbled as you remembered that experience vividly,” I tried lifeguarding last summer at that super fancy hotel near Greenwich but the training was too expensive so I just took a CPR course at the YMCA and lifeguarded there.”

“ Did you ever have to save anyone?” Josh asked curiously as the glass elevators moved up towards your floor.

You nodded as Josh’s mouth dropped,” Yup, I had to give CPR and everything. Lucky for them, saving lives runs in my family.”

As the elevator doors opened up to your floor, you made sure to carefully scan the hallway before stepping out. Peter was supposed to be up in the labs all-day so that gave you enough time to work on the project with Josh while keeping Peter at a safe distance.

As you were approaching the door to your room, the fridge door in the kitchen closed and revealed Peter with an IV pole on his left side and an apple in the other hand.

“ Peter!” You said nervously as you took a small step in front of Josh, almost as if you were covering him up from Peter’s line of vision,” What are you doing here? I thought you were up in the labs?”

Peter looked past you and eyed Josh up and down before holding up the fruit, walking towards the two of you,” Um, I needed something to eat- Who is he?”

Peter was constantly feeling some type of distress whether it was chest pains or headaches but now that he clearly caught you hiding a boy from him, the pain felt off.

You had never brought over any of your friends to the headquarters before so to Peter, this was already a red flag. Peter felt like his body was on high alert as thousands of scenarios were going through his head.

Josh stepped forward and held his hand out for Peter to shake,” Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Josh. Y/N and I go to Manhattan Prep together.”

Peter looked down at Josh’s hand for a moment before shaking it hard. Josh winced but played off his pain as he pulled his hand away and stuffed it back into his pockets. You could feel the one-sided tension between the two as you looked over to Peter to try to ease him but his eyes were glued to Josh.

You cleared your throat as you turned to face Josh,“ Peter is a part of my dad’s internship program so he spends most of his time here at the complex. He’s pretty much a part of the family and he’s a really good friend, right Peter? ”

Peter nodded as he tried to calm his nerves down, his quick glance to Josh was almost as if he was begging his body to put his guard down. He couldn’t control his body and this was the first time the lovedust had forced him into a territorial state.

“ No kidding, that’s awesome man. My buddy from Midtown was telling me that he knew a guy who was accepted into the Stark Internship,” Josh said as Peter stood up a little straighter.

“ Oh really? Who?”

“ Flash Thompson, do you know him?” Josh asked as Peter looked over at you, almost as a warning.

While Josh was trying to be civil towards Peter, Peter couldn’t help but feel the pit in his stomach sink lower and lower with the thought of Josh even associating with someone like Flash.

“ As a matter of fact, I do know Flash,” Peter said smoothly, his speech hardly hesitating,” you sure know how to pick friends.”

You and Josh could tell that Peter was giving a dig towards him but Josh quickly let it go as he tried to ease the situation.

“ Well... it was nice to meet you Peter, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine,” Josh said as he gave a genuine smile,” I’m sure Y/N already mentioned this to you but if you’re not busy or anything, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow and you should come out.”

Fuck.

Peter looked at you for a moment before returning a small smile to Josh,” Thanks, I’ll think about it.”

“ Um Josh, can you just wait in my room for a second?” You asked as Josh looked between the two of you and nodded.

You didn’t want to be upset at Peter for feeling hostile towards Josh because you knew he really couldn’t help himself. It was eating away at you that you were the reason Peter was acting so jealous but come on, did he really have a reason to?

Once Josh closed the door behind him, you turned back to Peter and looked down at the IV that was in his arm.

“ Is everything okay?” You asked as Peter looked down at his arm,” that looks pretty serious.”

“ Yeah… I’ve been having some problems but nothing your dad can’t fix” Peter deflected softly before looking over to your bedroom door,” so Josh...is he a friend?”

Peter knew he was walking on thin ice asking about Josh but he couldn’t bring himself to just go back in the labs and worry about the two of you all day.

“ He’s just a friend Peter, we have a school project and we’re partners,” You reassured him as Peter felt almost relieved,” and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the party, I didn’t think you would want to go but I should’ve asked.”

Peter studied your expression for a moment before looking down at his feet. It was hard to tell if you were telling the truth, maybe you didn’t want him to come. School project or not, Peter felt threatened by Josh, even if Josh was trying his best to be as nice as possible.

“ It’s okay, you’re right. Parties aren’t my thing anyway,” Peter shrugged as you bit the inside of your cheek.

You weren’t sure why you felt so guilty but whatever you were feeling, you hated how much it was stirring inside of you. You never wanted Peter to feel left out and you could easily tell that it was bothering him as much as it was bothering you.

“ Maybe if you’re not busy tonight, we can watch a movie together. I checked the kitchen this morning and there’s a ton of frozen pizzas if you’re up for it?” You suggested as Peter tapped his fingers against the side of his leg.

Peter wanted to jump at the offer, any excuse to hang out with you alone literally set Peter so close to having a cardiac arrest in the best way possible. While he was getting the hang of controlling his words around you, it felt like the more time you spent with him, the more he felt himself fall for you.

“ I’m actually going to patrol tonight,” Peter said in a low whisper as he looked back at your bedroom door,” I haven’t been on the streets in a long time and I think I feel well enough to go.”

“ Are you sure you’re ready? You’re literally hooked up to an IV bag Peter,” You said as Peter subtly pushed the IV pole behind him as if he could hide it.

“ I won’t do anything crazy, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be out for a couple of hours and we can hang out when I get back,” Peter said as you hesitantly nodded.

You understood that being a superhero meant that you couldn’t take sick days but this was an extreme circumstance. To you, Spiderman could wait but for Peter, that was a large part of his livelihood that he had put aside for too long.

You wanted to tell him not to go, better yet, if you could hide every single one of his Spiderman suits you would. It didn’t sit right with you that with everything going on with his health that he would jeopardize it but you knew it wasn’t your call.

“ Okay, but please text me updates so I know you’re safe. Things have been so crazy lately and I-”

“ Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be okay,” Peter interrupted as he felt his heart grow heavy,” I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

You didn’t know why the thought of Peter going out was so scary but before you could think things over in your head, your feet stepped forward and you pulled Peter into a tight hug. You rested your chin against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply as if hugging Peter would calm down your nerves for the rest of your life.

Without a second thought, Peter drew his arms over your body and held you close to his chest. His heart beat even faster than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you even tighter than before.

----------

You checked your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour as you grew more and more anxious.

Peter had been gone for hours to go patrol while you and Josh were still working on the project. It was eating away at you that Peter wasn’t back yet and every time another minute passed without an update, you felt like you were closer to losing your mind.

Even before Peter made contact with the lovedust, you would still secretly pray that he got home in one piece. When everyone you knew and loved had a career that put themselves in the line of danger, thoughts of not having them around anymore plagued you whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself.

You had lost people before to freak accidents like your biological parents who had passed away when you were old enough to know how death worked. You couldn’t imagine not having Tony as your dad but some nights whenever you were filled to the brim with anxiety, you wondered what your life would’ve been like if your parents weren’t killed during that home invasion.

When you’ve lost people, it never gets easier, terror plagues you. The fear of someone you know getting hurt was by far scarier than anything Hollywood could recreate with CGI and yet, it was slowly looming over you.

Superheros were literally your life and you weren’t mentally prepared that one day, something bad could happen and you could lose them forever. With Peter, you weren’t sure if it was because of how close the two of you were now but the fear of losing him was bigger than any other scenario you had crafted in your head.

“ Is everything okay? You seem a little out of it,” Josh said as you looked away from your phone and back towards your laptop.

“ Yeah, I’m good, my body just feels so tired. I’ve read so much medical terminology within the past couple of hours and now everything is jumbling together,” You sighed as you looked down at Josh who was sprawled out onto your bedroom floor with a textbook resting against his stomach.

You never realized how comfortable your floor was but seeing Josh on your floor looking as effortless as ever was a shock to your system. When Josh caught your gaze, you turned back to your laptop and rested your cheek against your palm to try to cover the blush that was creeping onto your cheeks.

As you rested your cheek against your propped up hand, you could feel your eyelids get heavier with each passing second. Josh noticed from his spot on the ground and sat upon his hands, watching you ever so intently.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed once you closed your eyes but once you felt a blanket drape across your shoulders, you stirred quietly.

You held your breath as you waited for anything else but all you could hear was paper shuffling around. You peeked your eye out and saw Josh crouched down on your floor, carefully putting his textbooks and notes into his backpack, being careful not to wake you.

Instead of waking up to say goodbye, you pretend to be asleep as if you were too nervous to even confront Josh this late. The papers stopped shuffling and as you tried to keep your breathing patterns even, you felt Josh’s hand rub your shoulder softly before walking out of the room.

Once your bedroom door had closed, you hesitantly opened your eyes and gave a quick peek to make sure Josh was really gone.

You exhaled loudly, not even aware that you were holding it in all this time. You let the blanket fall onto the chair before walking over to your large window that pointed towards where Josh had parked.

You knew you should’ve walked him down after everything he had done for your project but the least you could do now was to make sure he left the complex in one piece. After a few minutes of patiently looking out the window, you saw Josh’s car pull out of the long driveway and headed down towards the front gate.

Your mind instantly traveled back to Peter as you checked your phone again but this time you went back to your messages and looked at all of the unread messages you had left for him.

5:12pm || Y/N: update me when you get to your post!

5:29pm || Y/N: oh don’t swing and text loser!!!!

6:01pm || Y/N: you there yet?

6:36pm || Y/N: don’t make me spam text u nerd

6:57pm || Y/N: im gonna just pretend you’re too busy to txt me back-be safe!

7:40pm || Y/N: helloooo?!?! Is everything okay

8:00pm || Y/N: i will leak your identity fool txt me back

8:40pm || Y/N: whatever idc anymore

8:44pm || Y/N: still haven’t heard back from you, you dead?

9:06pm || Y/N: ur freaking me out dude, any updates?

9:33pm || Y/N: there was a fire near the museum are you okay?!?! The news said you were there

9:35pm || Y/N: peter????

9:50pm || Y/N: call me im worried

10:02pm || Y/N: ur scaring me pls respond

You cursed under your breath as you pressed the call button and placed it to your ear. After a few rings, Peter’s voicemail came on and you didn’t even bother to listen to it all the way. You had already left so many voicemails and at this point, there was nothing you could do but wait for him.

You were filled with dread as you scooted back into your bed and refreshed the news pages on your phone.

Spiderman Stops an Armed Gunman Outside Plaza

You knew that it wasn’t healthy for you to keep scrolling online but you needed to know if Peter was safe. You hated the feeling of not being kept into the loop and Peter wasn’t the type to completely ignore text messages unless that meant he was in real trouble, what could you do to help him, you don’t have any powers you’re just a teenager-

You took a deep breath in as you shut your phone off and stared up at the ceiling to clear your head.

Peter is smart. He’s fast. He will be fine. You kept repeating it over and over again like a lullaby and with some luck, you could feel your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second with Peter being the last thing you thought before falling into a deep sleep.

You held your hand over your mouth to try and stop the sobs that rocked your body from underneath the bed. You could hear your dad begging, pleading to spare his wife before the sound of a gunshot went off.

It was louder than you remembered almost as if the sky let out a roaring thunder that shook the whole house. You could hear your dad struggling with the gunman before another shot rang out, this time even louder.

The glowing stars that were stuck to your ceiling shook off once your bedroom door had slammed opened and you prayed silently, wanting the nightmare to end.

You did your best to be quiet as you watched his feet walk slowly to the bed, almost at a teasing pace like he knew you were underneath there. Everytime the nightmare played in your head, the attacker took on a different appearance. Sometimes it was someone you knew, other times it was just a passing face on the street.

But everytime you had this nightmare, one thing never changed. The shoes, black sneakers with white laces and depending on how terrible the nightmare decided to be, you could spot the splatter of blood against the heels.

You watched as the man walked behind your bed and you let out a scream as you felt his hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you roughly against the carpet. As you scratched at the attackers face, your sob got caught in the middle of your throat.

The attacker always took a different appearance and this time, it was Peter.

You kicked and screamed as hard as you could as he tried to pin you down, his weapon pressed into the side of your rib as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew it was a dream and you were so used to letting it ride out or until you fell out of bed but with Peter staring at you as he dangled your life between his fingers, all you wanted to do was wake up.

All you could do was continue to fight back through your tears as he kept saying your name, taunting you.

“ Let go of me!”

“ Y/N! I got you!”

“ It’s me Peter!”

“Y/N!”

You shot up from out of your bed, almost knocking heads with another figure as you let out a choked sob. You didn’t realize your fists were still swinging until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your body, cradling you.

The memory of the attacker was still so vivid in your head and all you wanted to do was get away,“ Let me go!” You screamed as you struggled against their grip as they held you even tighter,” get off of me!”

“ Y/N! Y/N! It’s me! It’s me! You’re okay!” Peter shouted as he let his grip go before cupping his hands on either side of your face,” open your eyes! Hey! It’s me, you’re okay!”

You squirmed from his lap as you opened your eyes to see Peter in front of you, the actual Peter. As relieved as you were, you felt your chest tighten as you continued to cry and without a second thought, you leaned into Peter’s chest and buried your wet face into his t-shirt.

Peter held you tighter as he rested one hand against the back of your head and the other was snaked around your waist. He smoothed down your hair as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm you down,” It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here, I got you.”

You hadn’t felt so relieved to see anyone until now and as you tried to control your cries, you felt yourself slowly transitioning back into reality. You inhaled his scent as you dug your face into his neck and you never thought a smell could bring you so much peace.

Relief wasn’t even what you were feeling, it was more than that. You couldn’t put it into words and it was heavier than the idea of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Release. To sob into someone’s embrace where you knew you would be safe no matter what felt heavenly and with every sob you let out, you felt yourself separate from the nightmare altogether.

Peter had to hold back his own tears as he held you and slowly rocked your body back and forth like a baby. He wasn’t sure if it was comforting you but it definitely put Peter at ease.

Just minutes ago, he had just checked on you to see if you were still awake and once he saw that you were sleeping, he went back to his room to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until he was putting on his pajamas when the hair on his arm stood up seconds before you actually let out a scream only he could sense.

Peter literally scrambled to your room and had his web-shooters ready because from what he could hear, he thought someone was attacking you. It wasn’t until he saw that you were having a nightmare that he quickly threw his web-shooters to the side and tried to wake you up.

It was one thing to be in love with someone and to go through the motions as if it was a normal occasion but this was different. Seeing you so vulnerable and completely terrified utterly broke Peter in half and he knew for sure that it wasn’t all because of the lovedust.

“ You’re safe Y/N, you’re okay.”

“ Don’t worry I got you.”

“ Just breathe for me, okay?”

For what seemed like forever, Peter cradled you and whispered into your ear to let you know that you were okay and that he was there for you. He wanted you to tell him everything about the nightmare and what had triggered it but he knew that it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare with the occasional boogeyman.

You thought back to your nightmare one last time as you pictured a hazy Peter attacking you and it almost sent you into another panic attack. Peter could feel how tense you got and his grip loosened so he could look back at you.

Your eyes were puffy from crying so much and your cheeks were flushed red but Peter thought you were absolutely beautiful. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, there was so much to say yet so little at the same time.

“ Thank you,” You whispered ever so softly as you craned your neck up and pressed a soft kiss against Peter’s cheek.

You both knew that it wasn’t an ordinary thank you but for Peter, he didn’t need to analyze it any further. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Peter’s heartbeat that rang throughout his body.

From pure exhaustion of crying and anxiety, you felt even more tired than before and Peter could feel you slipping back to sleep. He didn’t want to let you go, if he could, he would hold you in his arms forever if it meant keeping you safe and sound.

Once Peter heard your soft snores, he held you for a second longer before carefully laying you back down into your bed. Like second nature, Peter pulled the covers back over your body and tucked a strand of hair that was danging in the middle of your face behind your ear.

Peter ignored the sore feeling that was lingering in his back and forearms from holding you up and lightly dragged his fingers across his own cheek. He was way into deep now.

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bandaigaeru · 3 years

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gravitational pull - seo changbin

→genre: brief fake dating, childhood friends to weird enemies to fake lovers to real lovers →synopsis: he was a glimmering star of hope until he exploded, suspending your relationship into a seesawing gravity. →pairing: changbin x gender neutral reader →word count: 8.1k →warnings: hyunjins kinda mean at one point, mentions of alcohol

Mulch crunches beneath the adolescent shoes of your classmates. One intention is shared, in this playground warfare, and it’s to get a swing.

You disregard the heap rushing towards the ones closest, for your gaze is set on the far end of the swingset. And it is just within your reach. Your eyes narrow as you outstretch a palm, prepared to feel the coolness of the rusty chain.

The chain sways away from you beneath the harsh touch of another boy.

You stare at him with wide eyes, mouth fallen agape.

He smiles, the plastic seat dipping beneath his weight. “This one’s mine.”

A small shake in your tone as you return, “I was here first.”

“So? Everyone knows this is my swing.”

You slowly nod, taking small footsteps backwards. Hwang Hyunjin is bigger than you. And more accustomed with goons of friends. There’s no point in fighting.

Though as you start for the abandoned monkey bars (their vibrant red paint chipped to a sad haze) with blurry vision faulting your path, a voice booms over the rush between your ears.

You glance in the direction. A short boy sits in a stationary swing, smiling as though it is all he’s ever known. He waves you over.

Taking all of the precautions, you glance over your shoulder to make sure he’s talking to you. When you confirm, you drag your feet along the mulch.

You flinch when he stands, bringing guarding forearms to protect your face. The blow never comes.

“You can take my swing,” he says. You peek at him through your shield. His puffy cheeks are still indented with the smile. And his hands, not balled into a fist, lay calmly at his side.

You blink, slowly lowering your defense. “W-Why?”

He laughs, “That’s what friends are for. Duh.”

The laugh that trembles over your lips is shaky and foreign. You reach for the chain.

“I’ll push you!” he declares, rushing behind you as you steady yourself in the small seat.

He pulls you from the ground, the tips of your shoes trailing back amber woodchips.

The tip of your nose kisses the blue sky. Though, inevitably, the time comes when you must fall back to the earth. Steady hands push against your back, returning you to freedom. You find yourself grinning each time.

The next day, Changbin saves you the swing beside him. He waits until you are ready before kicking off on the ground. You swing in sync, sharing a few glances under the sun’s hugging rays.

It only takes a week before he’s begging his mother to arrange a playdate. And to your luck, he follows through with the promises, meeting you at your doorstep that Saturday. He guides you a block over to his house. He must be a good kid if his mother entrusted him with such a task, bringing two first-graders over. One returning home and one in need of a home away from home.

His mother is extremely nice, smiling at you each time you catch her eyes. She sets a plate of fruit on the coffee table while you and Changbin battle over the next Spongebob episode. His sister comes out of her room, too, asking you whether you prefer Barbies or Matchbox.

Elementary school passes like this. Recess is spent with his presence, as is lunch and gym and any class freetime. On the off days that it rains, barring you inside the school, you play Mancala. It’s totally civil. Not once does Changbin storm off when he loses. He merely shrugs and offers to set up the next round.

So unusual, though each time you find yourself smiling.

After an emotional graduation party—emotional for the teachers and family, you mean—he hands you a small piece of paper.

“What’s this?” you curiously look at him. His tie has loosened since the ceremony and his hair is ruffled by his father’s hand.

“My phone number. I won’t be in town this summer, but I still wanna keep touch with you.”

You smile down at the small digits. Neatly, you fold the post-it before slipping it into your pocket. You wrap your arms around his neck, leaning into his touch as he wraps his arms around your waist. “I’m gonna miss you,” you announce, voice muffled by his shoulder.

“It’s only one summer,” he reassures. “Plus, I’ll bring you back something nice. A keychain or something.”

You laugh through the sting that stabs your body, nodding. One summer cannot mark the end of the world, you tell yourself as you watch his car drift over the hill leading into town.

ii.

On the first, dreaded, day of middle school, you scan the halls carefully. The new faces do not scare you as much as the lack of his does. Each call was sent to voicemail. And each time the dial sounded, you frantically returned the phone to the receiver. Maybe he had accidentally miswrote the number. Or maybe he was too busy to return your calls. Summer has that effect on people, you think, where you have so much fun you forget the things you used to do daily. Like a memory disorder.

You finally see him in the lunch line. A breath of fresh air invades your lungs as you rush over to him.

“Changbin! How was your summer? I called, but you never answered,” you grin, nudging his shoulder.

He does not shoot you a glance, nor does he send a glare. Instead, he keeps his eyes glued on his shoes. A sharp pain strikes your chest—that breath might have been poison.

You gently shove his shoulder again, forcing a shaky laugh as you continue, “Hello? Anyone in there?”

The boy in front of him spins on his heel. His eyes are cold, painful, as they meet yours. “Can’t you tell he doesn’t wanna talk to you?” Hyunjin scoffs. “Go somewhere else, dumbass.”

Hesitantly, you look to Changbin. Surely, he’ll defend you, right?

Right?

His eyes have traveled to the lunch menu, displayed on a TV in cheap font. Far away from this conversation.

You nod, looking back to Hyunjin. His abrasive eyes are still waiting for you, eagerly begging you to move on. “Sorry, then,” you murmur as you start for the bathroom that will become your haven.

Behind you, Hyunjin’s loud laugh taunts you. Hidden beneath it is a quieter one that stabs you in the chest. Something painful blurs your vision, twists your insides, and curls the corners of your lips as you try to fight it.

You were a fool to think he was different. Elementary promises should never be trusted.

Secondary school passes in dreary blinks. Watching Changbin run for class president. Bubbling in his name despite everything. Hearing Changbin got the lead role in Cinderella. Showing up despite the physics test you had to study for.

You wonder momentarily if Newton was behind this twisted feeling in your chest. Drawing you to him—like a moth to a flame. You even scan his sister’s Instagram from time to time, finding a picture of Changbin framed carefully beneath the stars, a twinkle in his eye.

You watch from afar as he accepts his diploma, a careful smile seated on your lips.

A bitter taste haunts your tongue as you pack for college.

“This is good for me,” you mutter to yourself. “I’ll be far, far away from him. I can move on.”

Some things are better left unsaid.

iii.

Awkward introductions replay in your memory as you get ready for your first college class. Seven fifteen, physics with Professor Kim. Denoted as one of the best in the country. Physicist and professor, respectively. It would be a lie to say he didn’t take part in your decision to attend this college. And the ocean, which is only a fifteen minute walk (that’s what the RA told you when you moved in).

You arrive with a hot americano precisely on time.

As you climb the lecture hall’s steps, your eyes drift among the sea of unfamiliar faces. One in particular sticks out—a glimmer of hope among the trenches. You raise a hand to wave, a smile quirking your lips. But, at the face directly next to him, you drift back.

Evidently, you didn’t move far enough.

You stand at the edge of the aisle, glancing down at the empty seat. “Hey, is this spot empty?”

Hope looks back at you with shock glazing his features. “Oh my God, Y/N! Of course. I didn’t know you decided to come here,” Minho smiles, tugging his notebook closer to allow you more room.

You pull out the chair, glancing at the boy on the other side of him. “I didn’t really tell anyone where I was going.”

He fills the silence with his tales of life, occasionally glancing at Changbin to see if he wants to add something. Each time, he is met with the boy’s indifferent profile. Mindlessly scrolling through his phone, though not once stopping to read one of the passing captions or like a picture.

Professor Kim claps, fizzling any remaining conversation. The syllabus fades in your mind as you wonder how Changbin’s summer went. Maybe he spent it with his sister. Or perhaps he accompanied a love interest to a string of dates.

This thought shoots a concoction of contradicting emotions through your heart. You return distracted eyes to Professor Kim just as he’s dismissing class, burying a content fist into the customly tailored pocket of his navy suit. Minho turns to you immediately, filling your ears with proposals to coffee and lunch and maybe you could come to the dorm later and catch up. Changbin’s ears perk up as he begs for Minho’s eyes.

For a split second, his eyes fall on you before they dart away.

“I need to get back to my dorm,” you announce when you can finally slip into Minho’s breaths of pause. “My roommate’s waiting.”

“Who’s your roommate? Maybe we know him.”

You fight a laugh when he finally glances back at Changbin, who has long since given up. “His name’s Yang Jeongin.”

iv.

While Minho is overly focused on you, begging you to tell him what happened after he moved in tenth grade, Changbin pretends you do not exist. When the conversations trail outside of the lecture hall, he clings to Minho’s side but does not speak. His eyes stay glued to the sidewalk. Or his textbook, whose cover he seems very invested in.

So when Professor Kim announces a project, your heart thumps a little too fast.

Minho grabs your arm, “Be my partner?”

Changbin kicks his leg. “Dude.”

He glances back at him, as though nothing he has said goes against him. “What? Just join our group.”

Changbin’s eyes find yours reluctantly. They ignite a spark in your fingertips as you reach for a pen. “Can I?”

You smile as your head twitches in a nod. “Of course.”

The plan is this: meet at the library on October 15th (a Saturday, you realize) at 1 P.M. “Expect to be there long, I wanna get this done ASAP,” Minho adds as he downs the rest of your americano.

When the day finally comes, despite your daily prayers that time would somehow freeze or somehow skip over the day, you leave your dorm right when you need to. Early October aids a brusque breeze, and you wrap your jacket around you as you approach the small crosswalk. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you dread the inevitable message.

Lee Minho [12:59 P.M.]: Sorry guys, I can’t make it. Mama Lee’s in town and wants to see her favorite son.

It’s too late to go home, you realize, when shoes scrape against the cement and a sigh penetrates the silence. “I cannot stand him,” the voice mutters behind you.

You turn to him, offering pitied condolences with a small smile. “Just the two of us, huh?”

He nods. “Guess so.”

A loud hum draws closer as his foot leans down for the asphalt. You look to the source, seeing a red car barreling down the street. You gasp, grabbing Changbin’s sleeve and tugging him back on the sidewalk. The horn echoes in the back of your head like an alarm.

His eyes are wide when they find yours. “T-Thank you,” he stutters, cocking his head a little. As though, for the first time, he is taking in your appearance.

You realize your grip is still tight on his wrist and you let go, tensing up. “You’re welcome.”

In the library, you work in silence. As though nothing happened outside. As though your entire history lies merely within the timespan of a few weeks. Minho serving as the mutual friend to your forced, awkward friendship.

He shoots you a dizzying look as he turns his packet to you. “Can you look this over?”

The tip of your eraser taps a number. “This has to be meters per second, not centimeters per second.”

A small sigh tumbles over his bottom lip as he realizes, “That’s why the final answer looked so weird. Thank you.”

The corner of your lip must have an opposite gravity to it, because it curls upward without intent.

Returning to class the next Monday leaves the soft hint of a calm lavender in the air. You share a quick, almost childish, glance with Changbin before settling back into the tune of physics. Newtons and joules and all the fun things that make up energy.

The next few weeks pass with a quiet hum, one that hangs in the background and, if you lose sight of it, you’re scared you’ll lose it forever. It’s a time of your life where you will look back with a sigh and whisper, “How did I not realize how good I had it?”

At your peak, you fall onto your bed on a Friday night. Jeongin scribbles impatient homework answers while your eyes fall shut.

The storm of your phone blaring its tune awakes you.

Lee Minho calls to remind you that he expects you to arrive at his ‘rager of a birthday party.’ He tells you the address, enthusiastically repeating himself (like an auctioneer) as you try to find a pad of paper. Jeongin’s jumping up to fix his hair before you even hang up.

You’re really not sure what you expect as you drag your roommate in tow towards the destination. Though, when you feel the tremble of music and hear shouts from the lawn of the frat house, you somehow know you’re in the right place.

The foyer is packed with jumping bodies. Leaning on the stairs, a red solo cup in hand, is the man of the hour. His cheeks are dusted in a light coating of heat and, as you approach him, you notice that glitter brushes soft highlights along his cheekbones.

“Happy early birthday!” you shout over the music.

He dizzily turns to you and drags you towards his chest in a swift motion. “Y/N! Thank you for coming!”

You had no choice. It was either come to the party or admit yourself to Lee Minho’s terrifying grudge list.

Despite this, you return with a grin, “Of course!”

When he lets you go into the stale air, he shoves his cup into your hand. “Try some,” he nods.

You tip the plastic to your lips. As the liquid scrapes the back of your throat, you flinch back. “What is this?” Your face twists.

“Just vodka and Coke.”

You hastily return the cup to him and glance around. Jeongin has disappeared to a desolate corner, you presume. A spark of jealousy runs through your veins.

“Where’s the bathroom?” you find yourself asking Minho.

He points down a vacant hallway and tells you it’s the last door on your left. You thank him before scurrying in that direction.

Your knock echoes, though nothing returns. The pale wood feels cold against your cheek as you listen for any life inside. You find it safe to enter. Instantly, you press your palms against the cold marble. Identical eyes stare into each other in the mirror until your eyes slip to the pale, spotless basin. You stare into the milky dome absently, pondering why you feel so odd being here. And for a moment you forget where you are, lost in the dizzying world of your thoughts.

Until you hear the choked sob from behind the shower curtain.

It takes you by surprise. Hesitantly, you reach out for the navy shield.

“Ch-Changbin?” you stutter, staring down at the boy in a mess of shock.

His legs are drawn to his chest as trails of tears line his cheeks. He lets out a squeak as he looks up to you. Arms fall to his sides as he leans forward. Though, he appears to have no intention of stopping, surrendering himself to gravity.

Your hands find his shoulders merely moments before his nose slams into the porcelain. “Are you drunk?” you whisper.

Though, in return, he sobs. “I’m sorry.”

Something pierces your chest. Your lips part to say something, but the words are clogged in your throat.

“I was such an idiot,” he slurs, swaying gently.

“What’re you talking about?” you finally ask.

His balled fist slams against the tub. “You!” he shouts, face twisting as he releases another cry.

You flinch back.

“My mom always asks how you’re doing, no matter how many times I tell her. My sister still has a grudge. Hell, even Hwang Hyunjin thinks I’m an idiot and he’s the one who tricked me into leaving you!”

He leans his cheek against the wall, once again releasing a cry. Though, this one, he fights to hold back. It scalds the air in a whimper.

Quieter, he admits, “You were the only person I’ve ever felt safe with.”

You sigh, looking down at your shoes. Those days when you wondered what had gone wrong, staring up at your blank ceiling and trying to relive his smile as quiet tears fell to your pillow, wash down the drain.

He watches intently as you climb into the tub. You do not look at him as you slowly lean against the wall he rests his cheek on. Instead, you stare at the mahogany finish of the small cabinets. Regardless, you can feel his eyes burning holes into your cheek. In this cold porcelain cage, all you can hear is the distant thumping of music and the occasional sniffle from the boy beside you. You smile at the familiarity of it, returning you to your former years cozied up on a playground. No worries back then, you jealously note with a muted snicker.

“I missed you,” you finally say. Tears blur your vision, warping the defined lines of wood into a mess of color.

When you bring yourself to look at him, his eyes are closed. You lean a little closer to see if he’s sleeping. Reluctant lips part as he whispers, his breath hot and reeking of tequila, “I missed you too.”

vi.

One of the things you come to realize is that Changbin’s smile has never changed. There’s still that little indent where his cheeks fold over and each time he offers a glimpse at it you are returned to the days of the swing.

Thanks to the drunken night (half drunken night, you should say, since he had enough for both of you), Changbin has allowed a sneak peek back to his life. Strictly over text, though. You’re not sure why he’s never asked to meet up—maybe it’s too much too fast, you think—but you cannot find it in you to complain. He’s back after all these years and that seems to be enough.

So you endure it, texting him until the early hours of the morning and fascinating yourself over all of these things you have missed.

Seo Changbin [2:39 A.M.]: My sister and I went to the elementary school a couple of weeks ago.

Looking at your phone burns your eyes, as does the weird feeling in your chest.

Y/N [2:40 A.M.]: Really? Has it changed much?

Seo Changbin [2:40 A.M.]: The kids after us got all the cool playground equipment :(

Seo Changbin [2:40 A.M.]: I should take you there one day haha. I think that’d be fun.

You fight the giggle that wishes to flee, glancing up at a sleeping Jeongin for reassurance.

Waking up in the morning is aided with fleeting regrets, though beneath it you realize there is a small skip in your step. One that flares a heat in your face when you walk into the physics classroom and reach to meet Changbin’s eyes. And there, waiting, is his gaze and a small smile.

Maybe you have it bad for Seo Changbin, you think, as Professor Kim begins talking about Newton’s Third Law.

vii.

Yang Jeongin is broadcasting his homework onto the cheap projector he bought on Amazon for $50. “Isn’t it so cool?” he marvels as his red pen underlines a key part of his notes.

You absently nod, glaring at your textbook. Between the lines is a screaming thought that cascades a waterfall of forget towards your upcoming exam. You fail to notice your phone buzzing against your bed. Daydreams are dangerous like that.

“Y/N,” Jeongin’s voice finally snaps you out of it. You look to him, standing at the door and lazily holding the knob. “You’ve got a visitor.”

Your heart leaps in your chest as you rush to take his spot. Before you can tug the door open, he presses a hand on your shoulder. “Be careful around him, please.”

You watch as he struts and flops down on his bed, opening a comic book above his head.

As you open the door, a little more hesitant than before the interaction with Jeongin, you smile.

Changbin is watching the end of your hall and playing with the sleeves of his hoodie. When he senses your presence, he finally breaks his trance and offers a smile. He keeps his voice low, “Can I talk to you?”

You nod, ignoring the annoying thump thump of your heart, “Sure. What’s up?”

“In private,” he adds, peeking over your head at Jeongin. Maintaining his hold on the comic book, though his eyes have drifted to you with a parental glare.

You shut the door behind you. His footsteps draw towards the common area, and you follow. There’s a silence draped over you until he abruptly stops in the middle of the hallway and turns to you. “I need you to pretend to date me.”

You blink. “W-What?”

He draws his bottom lip between his teeth momentarily before continuing, “I made a stupid bet and I kind of really need the money.”

A shroud of toughness hides your instant willingness to help. “What do I get out of this?”

His eyes radiate the innocence of a child. They draw you to a distant memory, one that you might have seen in a movie and forced into a memory, but you’re not sure. You were at his house after he broke his arm and he cried, those same eyes staring at you as he whined about how much it hurt. And how itchy his arm was beneath the cast.

Your heart softens, and you have to fight the crumbling beneath your feet.

“Whatever you want,” he assertively nods. “Seriously.”

You sigh. “Do you have a plan?”

“I always have a plan,” he smiles, pulling you into a grateful hug. His hoodie smells vaguely of ramen with a hint of sealike cologne you might find in Lee Minho’s bathroom. You find yourself smiling as your hands rest on his back.

viii.

His hand, admittedly, feels a little odd in your hand. The last time you had held his hand was in second grade, when you went to the zoo on a field trip. Your class was already flooding into the bird exhibit with anticipation and exuberance. But you were crying your eyes out at the mere thought of seeing a parrot. (This unfounded fear is all thanks to Spongebob)

Changbin’s hand slipped into yours and slowly urged you in, mumbling that if you didn’t go you’d get stuck there forever. And then, he had whispered, the parrots might eat us alive. Even then, his hand was oddly clammy and a little sticky.

But now, as he guides you through the small neighborhood, you feel a calm mix of elation and awkwardness. Sure, this is groundbreaking material for you and your “small” crush on him. However, he’s not doing this because he likes you. He’s doing this because he needs some cash and you were a means of aiding him.

“Where are we going?” you ask, a cloud of your breath expanding from your lips. It’s only the beginning of November.

“You’ll see,” he glances over at you, a small smile painted on his pale cheeks.

There’s a small line of shrubs on your side of the sidewalk. Serving as a break in them is a metal archway, accompanied by a small wooden sign reading: Gyeonghwa Park. He turns into it, guiding you into the small fenced area. A two person swing set stands in the corner, absent seats trembling in the breeze. There’s a few wooden benches, though most are tainted in a layer of leaves.

“Ta-da,” he says, gesturing with his free arm at the small park.

You look around to the little duck statue in the corner. “I don’t mean to be rude, but why are we here again?” you turn to him. His hand burns against your skin like a constant reminder.

“I can’t take you to our playground, so I thought we could settle for here as our first fake date,” he smiles. “Plus, we need couple pictures and I think this works well.”

You’re grateful for the breeze that dashes pink across your cheeks, disguising the heat that has rushed to them at his words. “R-Right,” you stutter.

He takes a seat on a leafless bench and slips his phone from his pocket. As you reluctantly sit beside him, you watch as he sends texts to his friends. Nothing regarding you, you presume, but when he feels your eyes he quickly closes the chat.

The pictures are poised carefully, his arm resting on the top of the bench behind you, your head tilted towards his as you smile. Without warning, he presses his lips to your cheek as the shutter clicks. You try not to make your flinch obvious.

He pulls back, smiling slightly as he inquires, “Should we kiss to seal the deal?”

Fire poisons your veins as you stare back at him. The invisible mark his lips had left sizzles in the air. “Do you think we should?” you whisper.

He shrugs. “It’ll make it a bit more believable. We don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, though.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. Kiss me.”

The corners of his lips upturn a little further, sending a shiver down your spine—though maybe it was just the wind. He readjusts his phone, glancing to assure you’re both in frame, before leaning in. At first, his lips merely wander in the air before yours, as though he is thinking about the best way to do this. But then, confident lips press against yours. His touch melts away the numbness in your fingers, the shiver of the cold. In this moment of freedom, you wonder if he had ever wondered what your lips tasted like. Because you sure have.

ix.

Each of your fake dates is constructed with careful attention to detail. A trip to the movies (seeing a film you had mentioned wanting to see very briefly over text). A study ‘date’ that didn’t really feel romantic, though he brought you an americano and a fancy pen he stole from his dad’s work.

But your date today is very special. The diner is filled to the brim with hungry college students and elderly couples. In the back, bunched up against the upholstery, are Changbin’s friends. They throw their heads back to laugh as one tells a stupid joke. Changbin leads you down the aisle slowly. He squeezes your hand, whispering over his shoulder, “Thank you, again, for doing this. It means a lot.”

You smile against your will,“That’s what friends are for.”

As you approach, the new and familiar faces turn to you. Some hold smiles, others hold gaping lips.

“I didn’t think you actually found someone willing to date you,” a boy marvels.

“Let alone Y/N! How come I didn’t know you were dating?” Minho shouts, garnering certain harsh looks from neighboring booths.

A glimmering smile finds your lips as you slide into the booth beside him, “You never asked.”

He scoffs. “Am I supposed to ask when anything life-changing happens?”

Changbin files in beside you, sighing, “Not necessarily, but you talk a lot.”

“How long have you been dating?” a boy across from you asks. His cheeks are dusted with light freckles, and a friendly smile paints across his lips.

“Nearly two months,” you glance at Changbin, who nods. The finer details, he stressed, must be known like the back of your hand. A single hair out of place could be the end.

“Are you serious?” Minho booms. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted. Even his eyebrows raise in awe, scratching dull wrinkles across his forehead.

“You do talk a lot,” you mumble.

Before Minho can have the chance to shout profanities aiding his awe, another boy sighs. “Shut up and congratulate them, okay? This is karma for laughing at him when he wanted in on the bet.”

“Thank you, Chan,” Changbin smiles, wrapping an adept arm around your shoulder. Instinctively, you lean into his touch, resting your head on his shoulder.

As the night unfolds, queued by digging questions and the occasional groan from Minho, you nearly forget that this is an act. That when Changbin presses a kiss to your forehead it’s not real.

Outside of the diner, as his friends disperse into their means of transportation, he cups your cheeks and presses a soft kiss to your lips. When he parts, there’s a small smile and a gloss hanging over his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispers.

He promises to pick you up at five. All that remains is the reward, you realize. A simple favor has brought you here, waiting impatiently for his knock on your door. Your heart beats harshly against your chest.

“Why are you even messing with him?” Jeongin mutters, stirring his ramen with the tips of his chopsticks.

You glance up at him, sighing, “I’m not messing with him. I’m doing him a favor.”

“Yeah, but, why? He’s an asshole, Y/N,” he shakes his head. As he shoves the steaming noodles into his mouth, he hisses at the heat and tilts his head to the side.

You watch him as he gulps down water.

At your prolonged silence, he adds, “When is he supposed to pick you up?”

You tap your phone screen, illuminating the time. “Five minutes ago.”

Jeongin drowns his harsh words with more noodles. Though, in between bites, he says, “Maybe he’s standing you up.”

The thought has crossed your mind, though a hollow in your chest wants to believe he wouldn’t do that. Friends, if that’s what you are, don’t do that.

Seconds drift into minutes. And minutes turn into an hour. Jeongin’s gone through three more ramen cups. Your lips ache as you nervously bite them, jumping for your phone at each notification.

At half past six, Jeongin rests into your bed beside you. “I’m sorry,” he whispers as he wraps a cautious arm around your shoulder.

Though, you do not feel anything aside from the irritation blurring your eyes. “Are you okay?” he asks. These simple words open the floodgate.

xi.

His eyes avert yours as though they had never known you in the first place. Minho doesn’t say anything when you lower yourself in the seat beside him. Instead, he cautiously slips you a small note. Large, scratchy words read: are you okay?

You crumble the note in your palm before tucking it into your bag. He does not bother you for the rest of class. Class travels by in grueling moments. Professor Kim’s voice seems slowed, stripped of any tone. When he finally dismisses class, warning that the semester is ending soon, you haphazardly shove your things into your bag and leave.

Over your shoulder, you hear a low smack and Minho mutter, “What the hell is the matter with you?”

It hurts to admit, given that you had known from the beginning, but Seo Changbin used you. Though, despite the anger you should be feeling, you can only find yourself wondering what he needed the money so badly for.

Back at the dorm, Jeongin silently pulls a piece of cake from the small fridge and hands it to you. “Here,” he mumbles. “My friend made it for you.”

You look up at him. “Why?” Your voice is raw from desuetude, crackles like an old radio.

Jeongin bites his lip, eyes slipping to your comforter. “I told him you were having a rough time. Plus, he knows Changbin, so he knows the story.”

You take the paper plate in your fingertips, dragging it toward you. You poke the delicacy with the tip of your fork. “What’s the story?”

A sigh slips past his lips. “That you guys dated and you broke up. That’s all Changbin told them.”

You nod. He must’ve gotten the money and thrown you away.

Your phone buzzes against the mattress. Jeongin leans over to check who it is. When his eyes meet yours again, he informs, “It’s just Minho.”

So you allow yourself to look at your phone.

Lee Minho [9:20 A.M.]: I’m outside your dorm. Let me in please.

You look up to the door, though your energy is below zero. Jeongin grabs your phone, reading the message, before going to answer the door.

“Hey, Jeongin,” Minho pushes past him. He sits at the foot of your bed. “What happened?”

You blink, eyes staring into his absently. “What?”

“With Changbin. Tell me what happened, please. He won’t tell us anything and I’m starting to get worried for both of you. He’s never this quiet and you’re never this sulky,” he reluctantly rests his hand on your knee.

You look at Jeongin, who stands there with arms against his chest. He shrugs, silently telling you it’s up to you.

You sigh. “Where do I start?”

“The beginning, preferably.”

“I think I fell in love with him, but I can’t tell you when. Maybe it was when we were kids. Maybe it was at the party when he apologized,” you slowly say. The words do not feel like yours. A small pit rumbles in your stomach, begging you to continue. “He wanted a favor, to pretend to date him for that bet you guys made. I didn’t ask why he needed the money or why I should do this for him, given all he did to me. I just went with it. And things were great, as far as fake relationships go.”

In your break of silence, you find yourself smiling at all the fake dates. You wonder if the pictures still live in his phone or if he discarded them the moment he got rid of you.

“So you guys faked the whole thing?” Minho’s eyebrows furrow.

You nod. “He was supposed to pick me up on Saturday, but he stood me up. And now we’re here.”

Minho blinks. “Either Changbin’s a good actor or he’s a fucking asshole.”

“It’s the latter,” Jeongin announces as he crosses to his bed.

Minho shakes his head. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Don’t tell him what I said,” you rush. “About loving him or anything.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

After he leaves, Jeongin loudly sighs. “I knew you were in love with him.”

You look at him, slowly nodding, “I didn’t really make an effort to hide it.”

xii.

There are tears irritating your skin as you pull yourself out of bed. Surviving off of Felix’s cake and Jeongin’s ramen cups is less than attractive, but you cannot build enough will to leave your dorm. You ask Minho to take notes in physics for you and he quickly obliges, no questions asked.

Changbin, still, plagues your mind like venom. Each time you think maybe a nap is in order, you shut your eyes and see his smile. Or you’ll think of his lips on yours as he smiles into the kiss. Your eyes shoot open, chest rising heavily. Even when you stare at your ceiling too long, your brain deems it a screen for a memory to play. Casted like Jeongin’s cheap projector.

There was this once, in fourth grade when you grew bored of the swings so you relocated to the plastic blue tunnel. He blocked off one end while you took the other. On hotter days, you’d lay on top of the tunnel. One day, he looked at you across the plastic and asked, “Do you ever think we’ll be grown ups far away from each other?”

You shook your head so confidently. “No. We’re gonna live together. Like roommates.”

Jeongin comes home from his classes with a cup of coffee. He sets it on your nightstand as he whispers, “I’m spending the night at Chan’s tonight. Call me if you need anything.”

You take a sip of the americano. “Thanks, have fun.”

In his wake is a dreaded silence that reminds you of Changbin’s laugh. Time has only plagued it with a dash of depth.

Your phone buzzes. Hesitantly, you roll over and grab it. The metal is cold against your fingers.

Lee Minho [4:29 P.M.]: Hey, I need you to come to the beach. There’s something I want to show you.

The thing that tipped you over the edge when looking for a college was the beach. As you carefully scouted, the grains of sand kept drawing you back. It’s ironic as you realize that you haven’t been once, despite its proximity. You can already feel the bitter cold against your cheeks as you rise from your bed. Dots of dizziness scatter across your eyes.

The mid November air is cooler than you expected as you step out of the complex. You shove balled fists deeper into your hoodie pocket.

The walk to the beach is shorter than you had expected, only passing ten minutes. You see Minho waiting on the wooden slats leading to the sand. He jumps to preserve his heat.

“Hey,” you call out to him.

He looks to you, daring to unveil a pale hand as he waves. When you’re closer he says, “It’s fucking cold out here.”

You nod, looking out onto the vacant sand. Huddled like a speck of trash is a small figure.

“Why’d you want to meet out here?” you return to look at him, a piercing cold slashing your heart at the realization.

His face softens as he glances out towards the black speck in the sand. “Well, he wanted to meet you here but he wasn’t sure if you’d come if he texted. So he dragged me out here.”

You find yourself laughing. “And you agreed?”

“I didn’t know it was negative twenty out here,” he mutters. “So go and talk to him so I can get back in my car.”

You smile. Your heart thunders against your chest and, even though you know you shouldn’t, your feet move towards the small figure. He tugs you in, time and time again.

You glance over your shoulder when you reach him. Minho’s already gone, as though his presence was merely a ghost. You squat next to Changbin, wrapping your arms around your knees.

He looks at you, though you keep focused on the pale water. Brushing up on the sand, pulling back into the ocean.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

You nod. “You always say that.”

“I really am,” he admits. “I know you probably think I’m an asshole, reasonably so, but I really am sorry for everything.”

You finally look at him. “What’d you need the money for?”

He’s taken aback. He had expected more of a heartbreaking confession, a perspective he had not once explored. “Music equipment,” he says. “It’s really for me, Chan, and Jisung.”

You nod, looking back at the water. “I was just a ragdoll so you could get that.”

“Not really,” he whispers. “It was kinda a double positive for me.”

Furrowed eyebrows turn back to him.

“I got the money,” he starts, “and I also got the luxury of pretending to be yours.”

You blink. Your voice is small, barely audible over a gust of wind, “What?”

“Every time I did something stupid that got in between us, I always knew I’d find my way back to you. I was the tide and you were the moon, reaching out and tugging me back into reality. Time and time again, as we’ve come to understand,” he nods, glancing at his red fingers, bitten by the air.

You stare at him. “So why do you keep pushing me away?”

He shrugs. “There was always the fear that you didn’t want to bring me back.”

You scoff, remembering your childhood and the way he kept drawing you closer. You shake your head, words failing you.

“So truly, I am so sorry. You still have your end of the deal, you know. You get whatever you want. You can tell me to fuck off and I’ll go home. Sure, I’d be a little heartbroken, but-”

You cut him off, “Why would I ever do that?”

“Because I treat you like shit to fuel this stupid ideology that you don’t hate me,” he admits. “Even when I don’t try to be, I’m a selfish asshole. I only kissed you because I wanted to, not because of the stupid pictures for the bet. I only asked you for the favor because I wanted to paint this stupid little picture in my head. I only stood you up because I couldn’t bring myself to face you and admit that my stupid fantasy was over.”

“That’s not selfish,” you say. “That’s just very Seo Changbin of you.”

“I really cannot tell if you hate my guts or not,” he sighs, picking up a handful of sand and watching as it trickles down again.

You shake your head. “Minho didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

You look back at the empty space where the ghost once stood. A sigh of a distant nostalgia slips from your lips—the times you’ve pictured this moment over and over in your daydreams. However, you did not imagine the bitter bite of the wind nipping at your cheeks. “That I’m in love with you.”

“You what?” he gawks, leaning a bit closer. As though his ears deceive him.

Your eyes return to his as you nod. “I love you. I probably have since we were kids. That’s the only reason I agreed to your favor. Because I, too, wanted to be a little selfish.”

His lips slowly curl up into a smile as he releases an abrasive laugh. “How much did Minho pay you to say that?”

“He didn’t. I’m being completely honest. Why else would I be here if I wasn’t stupidly in love with you, huh?”

“Really?”

“Yes, now can we speed this up? It’s fucking cold out here.”

He presses his lips against yours. You expect them to mold against yours like they had in previous weeks, but now they are fiery. It sends tingles down your spine as he cups your cheek. With those internal feelings finally suspended from your body, you can sigh a breath of relief.

You wonder if younger you would be proud.

xiii.

“Are you guys actually dating now or are you just fucking with us again?” one of Changbin’s friends, Jisung, asks as you slide into the same booth as a few weeks ago.

“They are,” Minho intervenes. “I watched them confess and everything. Like a minister.”

“Bullshit,” you mutter. “You went back to your car as soon as I got there.”

Changbin’s laugh tickles against your ear as he scoots in next to you.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t revoke the award,” the freckled boy, who you’ve now concluded is Felix, observes.

“Why?” Jisung asks, bringing the straw of his soda to his lips.

“Because we would have had to give it right back.”

His friends are very welcoming of you, despite the deception that marked your first greeting. Chan catches you in the parking lot as Changbin and Jisung fight over the extra mint the server placed on the table.

“I just want you to know,” he starts with a smile, “that he really loves you. It’s not a front, I promise.”

Your eyes crinkle at the corners as you ask, “Those are suspicious words. How should I trust you?”

“Because he talks about you all the time. I know more about your childhood than I know about mine. Plus, he’s written three songs about you and we don’t even have the equipment to record anything yet.”

You laugh, “You’re in luck, then.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

You smile, shaking your head. “You’ll find out.”

Changbin returns to your side, a sullen scowl pressed against his lips as he watches Jisung pop the mint into his mouth. Chan dismisses himself to attend to Felix attempting to teach Minho a taekwondo move.

You look over at Changbin, “You’ve written songs about me?”

His eyes widen, “No? Why would I ever do that?”

A giggle bubbles up from your stomach as you shake your head, starting off to his car. Behind you, he repeats the same question urgently.

xiv.

Seo Changbin is like a pest that flies around your head, begging your attention at all moments of the day. He invited you over to his dorm so you could study together, though when you arrived with your textbook and notes, he appeared offended.

“What?” you asked as you settled on his bed, fluffing pillows before leaning against them.

“Studying doesn’t mean studying, it means cuddling,” he pouted.

It’s lucky for him that Minho isn’t home because if he ever heard those words falling from his lips, he’d never hear the end of it.

So that’s why you’re laying your head on his pillow, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as you read over your notes.

“What’s the formula for Newton’s law of universal gravitation?” you quiz him when you feel his arms start to loosen with the temptation of sleep.

He hums, “I don’t know. You’re the one with the strong magnetic force. Shouldn’t they call it Y/N’s law of universal gravitation?”

You sigh, setting the spiral notebook on his nightstand before you turn in his arms to face him. The hint of a smile already greets you. You press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. “What’s your grade in physics?”

He looks up at the ceiling as he pretends to think. “38.”

“What?” you hiss, pulling back away from him as though he has an illness you didn’t know about.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” he whines, pulling you back. “I only signed up for the class because it reminded me of you.”

You smile. “Why?”

He shyly pouts, “I may have gone out of my way to hear about you when we were in high school.”

“And you never thought to apologize?” you counter, your smile still reigning.

“You looked like you were doing fine without me,” he shyly admits.

“Changbin,” you shake your head. “I had no friends after Minho moved. I chased after you, thinking maybe something would happen.”

He closes his eyes. “Tell me you didn’t see me in Cinderella.”

“I saw you in Cinderella,” you laugh.

He throws his head back and whines. “The pants they put me in were two sizes too big.”

The memory of him standing on stage and having to hold up his pants, disguising it by having his hands on his hips, brings another laugh to the air. “Did they really not have any clothespins or anything?”

“No!” he exclaims, looking back into your eyes. “Fucking Hyunjin was hoarding them all!”

You feel the vibrations of your laugh against the pillow. It’s good being like this, having him tethered close.

He’s in the middle of saying something, probably further pursuing his complaints about high school or Hyunjin, but you do not care. You press your lips against his. A moment of stillness, thanks to his shock, before he kisses you back.

The only word to describe this feeling brewing in your stomach: bliss. Pure, hot bliss.

You hope gravity will keep you grounded here.

130 notes · View notes

simplybakugou · 4 years

Text

How can I love the heartbreak, you’re the one I love

↝ Years have passed since Bakugou met you and yet you’re all he ever thinks about. As he reconnects with you after all this time, he can’t help but reminisce on all the moments you spent with him, especially those suffocating and troubling days in the hospital in room 405.

SONG: How can i love the heartbreak, you’re the one i love by AKMU

⋆ PAIRING: bakugou x female!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; angst; hospitals ⋆ WORD COUNT: 14636

A/N: So I initially was going to make this a fic but that shit FLOPPED so i’m just breaking this into different sections. Also, I’ve spent WEEKS trying to write this so please let me know what you think! (plus this is the longest thing I’ve ever written omg).

It’s based off of AKMU’s song. This song is so beautiful and the link to the song is here. I also decided to remake my short fic about terminally ill s/o from a while ago and incorporate that in as well.

Also thank you @bnhabadass for your editing suggestions and especially thank you to @k-atsukidayo. I love you Fey, and thank you again for giving me such amazing suggestions and making this so much better!

Tagging: @freckledoriya

✐posted 05.11.2020✐

❝I purposefully take a few steps back, I look at you walking without me

There is a void beside you upon the gray road you look back❞

The weather was perfect. The breeze was subtle but still strong enough to send chills down Bakugou’s spine as he closed the door to his home behind him. He moved to shove his hands in his pockets, having to put one arm up to shield his eyes from the sun glaring down at him. He sighed as he continued along the brick path, squinting down the road.

The path was crowded and filled with all kinds of people: parents walking with their kids, couples walking hand in hand, and dogs roaming around with their owners. They were all looking up at the same thing: the cherry blossoms. The wind was perfect in assisting the blossoms as the fallen flower petals danced rhythmically against the breeze. They travelled down the path, as if they were leading Bakugou to you.

A few kids in U.A.’s uniform began running down the path, running after the petals. Bakugou couldn’t help but move the corners of his lips upwards, reminiscing on a time that felt like centuries ago.

The time when you were always by his side.

~~~

Bakugou’s leg wouldn’t stop shaking vigorously. His arms were crossed over his chest as he constantly kept checking his watch. You were late…

“If this shitty girl doesn’t show up in the next five minutes I’m getting the fuck out of here,” he grumbled under his breath.

As if you were summoned by his pure rage, you pushed open the doors to the little cafe, scanning the tables to find a certain enraged blonde. After finally locating him, you bowed your head slightly, clapping your hands together. “Forgive me! I’m really sorry.”

Bakugou felt his brow twitch. “You better have a good fucking reason for making me wait. You were the one who wanted help with studying.”

You slung your bag onto the chair next to you, sitting yourself down beside it. You reached into your bag, pulling something out. Leaning on the table, you rested your elbows on the surface. “Have you been to the brick path near school?”

“What?”

“Give me your hand.”

“What the fuck are you trying to do?”

“Just give me your hand!”

Bakugou sighed, rolling his eyes as he complied, extending his hand out in front of him. You placed the item, covering it with your hand cupping over it. “Well, that brick path has all of these beautiful cherry blossom trees. And I was just looking at them ‘cause they finally bloomed and I thought of you!”

You lifted your hand, revealing a few blossoms that you had plucked. Bakugou felt his cheeks burn up, looking the other way to avoid your gaze. “Whatever. Why the fuck would you think of me while looking at some fucking flowers?”

You shrugged, smiling. “I dunno. You were the first thing that came to mind.”

Bakugou moved his hand over, letting the flowers fall onto the table. He opened his English textbook, flipping to the middle. “Let’s just get this over with. We’re in our final year now, there’s no time to fuck around.”

***

A few months had passed since that day that you and Bakugou were preparing for midterms. You kept spending a majority of your evenings with him, using the excuse of needing his intelligence and tutelage in order to pass your classes. He would never admit it, but he enjoyed your company no matter how annoying you could get sometimes. You were just always so joyous, like you could beat the sun’s rays with your own light.

Aizawa continued teaching the class as everyone diligently paid attention. Months ago, a time in which Bakugou hadn’t spent so much time by your side, he would’ve been able to pay attention as well. But here he was, his eyes glued to your empty desk. You had asked to go to the bathroom in the middle of class. An hour had passed and you were still gone.

Aizawa looked at the clock, noticing Bakugou’s busy eyes glued to your desk. He then realized how long you had been gone. “Ashido, go check on Y/N,” Aizawa said, his back to the class as he wrote something on the chalkboard.

Mina nodded, getting up and leaving the classroom. Minutes had passed and Mina hadn’t returned either. Bakugou felt his leg shake up and down as his anxiousness only grew. What the hell is happening?

Mina finally came back, a panicked look on her face. Aizawa recognized this, pulling her out in the hallway and closed the door so the class couldn’t eavesdrop on the conversation.

“What’s that about?” Jirou asked from her seat beside Bakugou.

Kaminari shrugged from beside her. “I’m not sure but it doesn’t look good. Hopefully nothing bad happened to Y/N.”

The rest of class went painstakingly slow. Mina couldn’t focus for the remainder of class either, her eyes fixated on the clock. Everyone wanted to ask so many questions but refrained from doing so. Finally class had ended and Bakugou didn’t hesitate to approach Mina. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero followed, crowding around Mina’s desk.

“What the fuck is going on?” Bakugou demanded.

“Yeah, is Y/N okay?” Kirishima asked.

Mina had her head down, hesitant as she began to speak. “I thought Y/N was just sick which was why she was taking such a long time. But when I went in, she collapsed on the floor. I think she hit her head when she fell, too, because there was blood--”

“Where is she now?” Bakugou interrupted.

“Recovery Girl transferred her to Meijo Hospital a few blocks down,” Mina responded.

Bakugou didn’t hesitate to run out of class, his feet moving faster than he could control as if they were moving on their own. He could faintly hear his friends calling out for him but he ignored them and managed to get out of the building as fast as he possibly could, his eyes locked onto the silhouette of the tall hospital building.

He couldn’t understand why he felt something inside of him snap when he had heard that you were hurt. After all, you transferred to U.A. at the beginning of your final year. You were an outsider and you didn’t know if you would be able to assimilate into class A. But, fortunately for you, Mina was the first friend you made, inviting you to hang out with her friends often. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero practically opened their arms to you when you first met them. But your eyes were always drawn to the sulky blonde headed boy with the permanent frown on his face. The day you met Bakugou, you made it your mission to pester him and get close to him. Initially, Bakugou had found you to be the most irritating person he had ever had to deal with. But as the time went by and you were practically always by his side to the point where your classmates thought you two were dating, he began to oddly enjoy your company.

Bakugou ignored the stares he got from bystanders as they stared at the kid in the U.A. uniform running towards the hospital. Once he did reach it, Bakugou went straight to the front desk. “Is (L/N) (F/N) here?”

“One second,” the receptionist said, looking through her files. “Yes, she’s in room 405.”

Bakugou immediately moved towards the elevators until he noticed the long line of people patiently waiting. He cursed under his breath, running towards the stairs. His feet moved as fast they could, skipping steps all the way up until the fourth floor. His eyes began roaming rapidly at the numerous rooms in the hallway, finally reaching 405. He slid open the door, panting as he attempted to catch his breath. His eyes widened at the sight before him.

You were sitting upright on the hospital bed, a bandage around your forehead. An IV drip was attached to your forearm. You flinched at the sudden sound of the door sliding open, turning your head to the source of the sound. Your face lit up at the sight of your closest friend visiting you, your lips turning upwards. “Katsuki.”

Bakugou sighed, finally able to catch his breath. He glared at you. “You fucking idiot. What the hell happened? Why’d you collapse?”

You smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. “It seems I overworked myself. My quirk takes a lot out of me, you know.”

Your quirk, Flame, was pretty simple, just being able to expel flames from your body. But with finals and graduation creeping around the corner not to mention that you had only transferred to U.A., you felt that you had pushed yourself to keep up with everyone around you. Ignoring your health was foolish but you wanted to become a pro hero even if it was the last thing you could do.

“But I promise that I’m fine. I promise that I’ll get better before you know it.” Bakugou rolled his eyes at your foolishness. You patted the cushion of the chair that was beside your bed. “Can you stay for a while and tell me what I missed in class, Katsuki?”

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you to stop calling me by my first name? You’re the only one who does that shit!” You snickered, ignoring his words. Bakugou sighed, complying anyways as he sat down. He dropped his book bag beside him and pulled out his notes and spent the rest of his visiting hours helping you as best as he could.

~~~

Bakugou smiled at the kids in their U.A. uniforms as the memory of the two of you in that hospital room replayed over and over in his mind. It was the start to a new budding romance and yet you were damned from the start.

If Bakugou could take it all back, he sometimes thinks that he would. The pain and suffering he had to endure once meeting you was a feeling he wouldn’t wish upon even his worst enemy. But everytime he thinks he would’ve been better off without meeting you, he knew he wasn’t fooling himself with such a lie. You were always on his mind ever since the day he met you back in U.A., like you had casted a spell on him since the beginning.

And after all these years had passed, you were still charming him. You’re still the only thing on his mind.

❝Just then, I realized that I can never leave your side

No matter the distance and the problems that we faced, it's easier to fight against than the thought of letting go

So, tell me now, how can I love the heartbreak when you’re the one I love

To give you up because of love or from the heartache and pain, oh my heart, that's something I can never do❞

As Bakugou walked down the brick road, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out, answering the call and brought the device to his ear.

“What?”

“Hello to you, too,” Kirishima said with a laugh. “I was just calling ‘cause I don’t see you at the agency today. Kaminari, Sero, and I were coming by to see if you wanted to catch up after all this time. It has been two years since we’ve talked about our lives other than work, ya know.”

“I took the day off. I’m gonna spend it with Y/N.”

Kirishima paused for a moment and sighed. “After all these years, you’re still ditching us to see her.” His tone was light so Bakugou knew he was only teasing him. “I get it. It’s been years since you’ve seen her. We’ll catch up another time.”

“Thanks… for understanding.”

“Don’t mention it, man. Say hi to her for me.” As he hung up, Bakugou couldn’t help but feel a strange tug in his chest, as if there was a fire burning inside him. Everytime he thought about you, you always made him feel that way and the way you always “promised” to get better. Promise. That was your favorite word. You always made promises that you knew you couldn’t keep. Bakugou couldn’t help but reminisce on all the times you made such foolish lies. You were better off becoming an actress than being a hero, being too foolish to be a hero. A foolish hero that cared more about others than her own health.

~~~

“Don’t forget the food!” Mitsuki yelled from the kitchen as she pushed piles of bento wrapped in furoshiki into her son’s hands. “Oh! And she’s probably bored in there so I got her some magazines.” She opened up Bakugou’s bookbag and shoved the magazines inside.

Bakugou groaned. “You’re going overboard. She’s gonna think I’m fucking insane.”

Mitsuki flicked her son upside the head. “No, she’s gonna see how much you care for her. Now get out!”

She practically shoved her son outside, slamming the door shut. Bakugou grumbled under his breath holding the furoshiki in one hand and shoving his other hand in his pocket. The sun was beaming down on him and the cloth in his hand made his palm sweat. The several children playing around outside irritated Bakugou, especially when they started to stare at the now infamous class A hero in training. Nevertheless he ignored them, thankful that Meijo Hospital was so close to his house.

He entered the building, the nurses and receptionists greeting him as he was now a frequent visitor. They whispered amongst themselves, fascinated that among your classmates and friends, Bakugou was the only one who never failed to see you every single day, no matter how busy he was with finals and graduation.

Once the elevator reached the fourth floor, it was like second nature by now for Bakugou’s feet to take him to room 405. He slid the door open, surprised to see your bed empty. One of the nurses turned around as she was changing the sheets on your bed. “Oh, Bakugou. If you’re looking for Y/N, she’s on the roof.”

Bakugou was puzzled. “The roof? The hell is she doing up there?”

The nurse laughed at his reaction. “She wanted some fresh air. She’s been holed up in this room for months so we let her spend some time up there.”

Bakugou nodded, closing the door as he made his way back to the elevator. Truthfully, it had been months since you were first admitted to the hospital. No one told Bakugou why you were in there, and everytime he asked you about it, you would quickly change the subject. It was quite obvious that there was something you were hiding, especially since even the nurses and doctors never told Bakugou anything. There was no way that overexerting your quirk could make you hospitalized for all this time.

Bakugou pushed open the door to the roof with his foot, shielding his eyes with his free hand from the beaming sun. He could barely see from the sun’s fierce rays but through slit and squinted eyes, he could make out your back. You were facing away from him, looking down below the building. He walked closer to you, setting down his bag and the food gently so he didn’t scare you. Leaning forward, he rested his forearms on the ledge on the concrete, looking down at what you were engrossed in.

The height of the enormous hospital building allowed you to see for miles upon miles of buildings and freeways. U.A. was at the epicenter of all of the attention, the school standing tall amongst the smaller buildings. But amongst all of the chaos of the city, there was a brick path, which was elongating throughout the city. Among that path, rows upon rows of cherry blossom trees decorated the edges as if meticulously laid out like ornaments.

You finally took notice of Bakugou's existence, flinching a little at his sudden presence. “Katsuki? I didn’t even hear you come.”

Bakugou gestured to the view below you. “Probably ‘cause you were too focused on this.”

You smiled, resting one forearm on the ledge due to your other arm being connected to the IV drip. “It just looks so pretty. The trees stand out so much, especially all the pink petals floating around.”

“Only you’d pay attention to something so dumb.”

You jutted out your bottom lip in a pout. “You’re just a debbie downer and can’t appreciate life in all its glory.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes at you, but noticed how your knees began to tremble as you gripped tighter onto the IV stand for support. Before your legs caved in, nearly crashing onto the concrete, Bakugou sprung quickly into action. He caught you, protected you, one arm grabbing your hip and the other circling your lower back. You were flustered, not only from the sudden contact, but from the weakness of your limbs.

Bakugou fought off the urge to look away from how close the two of you were, focusing on maneuvering you over to one of the benches that were laid out on the rooftop. “Are you okay?”

You blinked, as if you were taking yourself out of a trance from the shock. “I’m… I’m fine.”

Bakugou felt his cheeks burn up as he thought about what he just did and as a way to take his attention from that, he decided to confront you with a question he so desperately wanted to know the answer to, “Why are you really here for? There’s no way using your quirk too much can make you fucking collapse like this.”

You pursed your lips together, wheeling the IV over to the side of the bench. “It’s actually complicated. I’ve always been sick since I was a kid so this happens sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

You nodded. “It’s happened before but I always bounce back up, I swear. You don’t have to worry about me, Katsuki.”

Bakugou scoffed, looking the other way. “I didn’t say shit about me worrying. The others kept annoying me and asking questions about, s’all.”

You laughed, knowing Bakugou’s behavior all too well. “Speaking of, why’d you visit this time?”

“Alright, I’ll just fucking leave then--”

“No!” You said, laughing as you grabbed onto his forearm and pulled him back down next to you. Your touch was cold against his warm skin “I wasn’t complaining. I really do enjoy your company.”

“Tch, you better.” He leaned down and grabbed the furoshiki and his bookbag. “I didn’t have my old hag pack you all this food and take more notes for you for nothing.”

“Your mom cooked for me again?” You asked, your mouth watering already despite not even consuming Mitsuki’s delicious food yet. “You really don’t have to do all this for me, I’m alright, I swear.”

“‘Alright’ my ass. I’ve told you before that I don’t mind doing this and I’m not just gonna stop because you feel bad.” He pulled out his notebooks, ignoring your groans. Finals were around the corner and then came graduation. Bakugou, although he would never admit it to you, was concerned with what you were planning to do here on out. No matter how many times you tried to convince him and tell him that you were going to get better soon, he couldn’t believe you.

A gust of wind past as you felt your (H/C) locks sway along with its rhythm. The pages to Bakugou’s notebooks turned rapidly. You let out a gasp as the wind died down. “Look!”

The cherry blossoms from the path had blown its petals over with the wind. They fell softly and silently, as if they were snowflakes in the winter’s harsh conditions. But the sun contradicted this illusion as its ray lit up the petals like tiny pink fairy lights. You were smiling from ear to ear at the sight, cupping your hands together as an attempt to catch as many petals as you could. Bakugou watched on, feeling his heart rate increasing the more he laid his eyes on you.

You turned to him. “Close your eyes,” you commanded.

Bakugou sighed, not having the energy to defy you and knowing that you were planning to do something with those petals. That was why your next actions shocked him more than he could have ever imagined.

He heard you let out a deep sigh. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time ‘cause I was too scared to do it. But I’ve been feeling a little… brave now.”

Before Bakugou could let out the words “do what?” he sucked in a breath as he felt your warm lips plant themselves onto his own as you cupped his face in your cold hands. The wind continued to blow softly, your hair flowing along with it as the fruity smell of your hair engulfed his nostrils. Your kiss was gentle like your smile and Bakugou felt himself become hotter. Your lips were soft and warm, unlike your ice cold touch.

You pulled away, your face flushed as the gravity of your actions set into your mind. Bakugou felt his own face heat up as he began to realize what you had done, dropping the notebooks from his lap. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape in incredulity. You let out a snicker, immediately angering Bakugou.

“What the hell is so funny?” He asked, his cheeks flushed.

You shook your head. “You just looked so cute, Katsuki.”

“C-ute?” Bakugou whispered slowly in disbelief. You were unbelievable, mind-boggling at times to him.

You sighed. “I just didn’t know how to thank you. But every time I tried thinking of a way, nothing came up so I decided to do that.”

You stared at Bakugou’s face for a minute, basking in his expression. For a second, you felt a tug in your chest, like you didn’t want to ever forget his expressive crimson eyes. You scooted closer to him on the bench and leaned over, wrapping your arms around his neck as best as you could from your position. Everything you did just sent utter confusion to Bakugou’s brain, his body feeling rigid against your touch. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. If I’m being honest, I don’t know exactly when I’ll get better. It might be four months or four years, I don’t know.”

You pulled away from him, holding his hands in your own. He had callouses all over the palms of his hands but even though there were bumps and ridges on his skin, he felt so warm and soothing. “You don’t have to put up with this anymore. You can walk out right now, and I won’t think ill of you. You’re heading into the real world as a pro and you deserve to not have to worry about me.”

Bakugou felt his face become hotter, but not from shock or embarrassment this time. He felt angry with you. He was angered that despite everything he had done for you, the daily visits, the tutor sessions, or the lunch breaks with him, you felt as if he was ready to just walk away.

Bakugou parted his lips to say something but you shook your head. “You don’t have to say anything now, I’m serious. I honestly don’t know when I’ll get better. I have my family looking after me so you don’t have to worry about me. You should focus on finals and graduation and your future.”

His eyes stared back into your own, trying to decipher what was going through that head of yours. The things you said and did were all unfathomable and incomprehensible. It made things even harder for Bakugou to say anything. Only you would be the kind of person to kiss someone and then give them the option to walk out of your life.

Before Bakugou could even think another thought, the door to the rooftop entrance opened. Your nurse smiled at the two of you, pointing at her watch to indicate that it was time for your medicine. You nodded, using your IV stand as a crutch as you pulled yourself up to your feet. Bakugou stood up quickly, holding your forearm in his hand to steadily hold you up.

“Can you walk?”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Don’t underestimate me too much.”

Ignoring your words, Bakugou stood behind you, ready to catch you if you so happened to fall. He had his hand hovering over the small of your back as you walked back into the building. The nurse smiled at Bakugou as she put her hand to the IV stand. “I’m guessing we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Uh, yeah.”

You smiled and waved back at him. “Thank you and your family for everything, Katsuki. And please consider what I said seriously.”

Bakugou watched as you and the nurse walked back to room 405, the sound of the door sliding open and close echoing through the hallway. He stayed there for a few moments before finally deciding to go back home.

***

On any other day, Bakugou was able to fall asleep fairly quickly and early as he was unusually strict about his sleeping schedule. But tonight, his mind was whirring with an abundance of thoughts. And you were the only thing that kept popping up in his mind. He felt himself blush as he envisioned your lips on his over and over again. He threw the duvet off of him as he began to grow hot the more he saw your face. Bakugou got up and went to the bathroom; turned the sink on and splashed cold water onto his face.

Your words and voice kept echoing through his mind as well. He wished he could tell you how he felt and how angry he felt when you spoke to him as if you were running on borrowed time. But he didn’t get the chance to question you any further.

A few knocks came through from the opposite side of the door, snapping Bakugou out his trance as he opened the door. Masaru stood by the doorframe, a puzzled expression on his face. “Katsuki, what’re you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Bakugou said curtly, flicking the light switch off and making his way back to his bedroom.

Masaru followed him, standing by the door as he watched his son sit on the edge of his bed and stare up at the ceiling. “Is something bothering you?”

“It’s nothing, just school stuff.”

“Is it about Y/N?” Bakugou looked back down at his father and Masaru smiled as he was able to correctly read his son. “I had a feeling something happened with her.”

Masaru walked inside and closed the door behind him, turning the light on. He sat beside Bakugou as his son continued staring at the space in front of him. “How’s she doing?”

Bakugou let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t tell for sure. She’s not giving me a straight answer and it’s pissing me off. Like she’s keeping a huge secret from me.”

Bakugou paused for a moment, internally deciding whether or not to confide in his father. Deciding to do so, he glanced at Masaru momentarily. “I need advice.”

Masaru raised his brows slightly. He knew Bakugou as someone who always kept to himself and disliked others prying in his life. It was the first time he was coming forward and asking for something. “Of course, son! What’s wrong?”

“It’s about Y/N. She was being… nice...” Bakugou cleared his throat, not wanting to address the kiss, “she was being nice all day but all of a sudden she said some bullshit about giving me the option to walk out of her life and not have to worry about her. It’s all I can think about and it’s fucking pissing me off.”

“Why is it making you feel annoyed?”

Bakugou turned around to face his father, an irritated expression on his face. “Because I’ve been busting my ass off and helping her out all this time and she’s repaying me by saying she wants me to ‘think about my future.’ She’s acting like she’s gonna die tomorrow and she’s fucking giving up.”

“Hmm…” Masaru hummed, thinking for a moment before continuing. “Seems to me that she’s trying to spare your feelings.”

Bakugou furrowed his brows in confusion. “Spare my feelings?”

“I think it’s safe to assume that what Y/N is dealing with isn’t something that’s going to allow her to live her life normally like she used to a few months ago. This… illness that she’s dealing with must be long-term and she doesn’t want you to have to see her in her most vulnerable state. She wants you to focus on your life.”

Bakugou scoffed, his hands clenching into fists. “That idiot… why the fuck would I spend so much time visiting her and looking after her if I was gonna just walk away like a fucking moron? If she thinks she can just deal with this all without at least talking to someone then she’s a bigger idiot that I thought she was.”

“So you’re trying to say that you’re going to always be there for her no matter what?”

Bakugou hesitated, realization setting in as he began to understand the whirlwind of confused thoughts and feelings inside of him. “Yeah…”

Masaru smiled. “Then go tell her! It’s no good for you to just sit around and talk to me. The poor girl probably thinks you’re just leaving like that.”

Bakugou’s hands rested on his knees, fingers clenching around the fabric of his pants as he pondered momentarily. Everytime he attempted to figure out what to say around you, he couldn’t help but feel mentally aggravated. You were always confusing him and throwing curveballs at him to make him feel thirty different emotions at the same time. Bakugou turned to face his Dad once more.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna say when I get there but I’ll try.” He got up, grabbing his hoodie as he made his way out. He stopped in the hallway, turning around. “Thanks… I guess.”

Masaru smiled as he watched his son grab his keys and leave the house. In all of the years he’s watched his only child grow, he’s never seen the amount of emotion and vigor Bakugou possessed until he was around you or talked about you. Even a girl he had known for only more than a couple of months had such an effect on him that even he didn’t realize what you were doing to him.

***

Bakugou opened the doors to the hospital, his chest rising up and down as he attempted to recollect himself after sprinting all the way here. The receptionist at the front desk looked at him with a concerned look. “Bakugou? What’re you doing here so late? Visiting hours just finished.”

Bakugou leaned on the counter. “Please let me see her. I just need a few minutes, not that long.”

The woman looked weary, looking down at her clipboard but Bakugou wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Five minutes. I just need to tell her something and I’ll leave. I swear.”

The woman sighed. “I’ll be in real trouble for this so please make it quick. Five minutes is all you get.”

Bakugou sighed in relief, running towards the stairs before the woman could even utter another word. He used his quirk to maneuver himself up quicker than normal and kicked open the door once he reached the fourth floor. He didn’t bother knocking on your door either, sliding the door open so quickly it clattered against the wall causing a loud clank.

You jumped in your bed, dropping one of the notebooks Bakugou had given you. Sitting up, you were puzzled as to why he was here so late. “Katsuki, what’re you--”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

You were taken aback, usually being accustomed to his abrasiveness. “What?”

He took a few steps towards you, standing directly in front of your bed. The proximity of his body to yours even made you flustered. “I don’t give a fuck if you’re sick. You think I didn’t realize that you were going through something serious after being hospitalized for months? There’s no way I’m leaving you now, not when you’re acting like you’re fine when you’re obviously having to deal with a shitty situation. And I don’t give a fuck about what you say or think, I’m gonna be here whether you like it or not.”

Bakugou continued breathing heavily, both from coming here at such a fast pace and from his own words that were spewing out of his mouth. Every other time he was around you, he didn’t know what the right thing to say was, always ending up second guessing himself. But that was every other time. He finally decided to go with his gut and tell you how he was feeling without thinking about the aftermath.

You smiled, laughter escaping your lips. The sound filled the room and Bakugou was confused. “Why… Why the hell are you laughing?!”

You giggled, pulling on his shirt and making him sit by your bed. Cupping his face in your hands, you grinned widely. “You’re incredible, Bakugou Katsuki.”

Bakugou stared back at you, ignoring the heat in his cheeks as he felt your glacial-like hands against his skin. He took your hands away from his face and you watched curiously as he held your hands earnestly. He controlled his quirk enough to heat your hands up, making you feel warmth in your fingertips for the first time in months.

Your fingers brushed over the various calluses on his hands. “I heard you loud and clear. And I’m sorry if I made you angry with what I said. I just didn’t want you to have your hopes up.”

He looked into your eyes directly and intently. “The minute I met you I had my hopes up. I’ve had my hopes up every time I’ve been around you. I mean it, Y/N. You’re gonna have to rip me apart limb from limb if you want me to leave your side now.”

You laughed again, squeezing his hand in yours. In that moment, you had never felt so much warmth practically radiating off of another person. Although all of these feelings and emotions were stirring inside you, you were too afraid to do anything with them. The news of the severity of your sickness made you feel more ambitious than usual but it also made you more hesitant. You didn’t want Bakugou to be involved in something that he wouldn’t know what would be the outcome. Who knew when you would get better and if you would ever recover completely, but in that moment, you refused to let the physical nature of your body control how you would live your life.

❝Should I turn back around a few more times?

We walk along together upon the desolate road, conversation lacking substance

We look out into the distance where the light shines

I realized just then I can no longer move forward

Every step brings me closer to our end and the hand I used to hold seems to vanish in the wind❞

Bakugou shoved his phone in his pocket, the sweat already formulating in his hands as he felt the heat of the summer take its effect on him. He paid no mind to the various looks that he received from onlookers and passerbys. Kids bounced up and down excitedly to their parents, whispering, “Look, it’s Ground Zero!”

Even the old lady running the flower cart was appalled as the infamous hero stopped in front of her stand. She stared curiously as Bakugou inspected the variety of bouquets she had laid out before him. He had his eyes set on a specific one: a completely white bouquet of tulips with hints of pink cherry blossoms hidden behind the fragile white petals.

Bakugou pointed to the bouquet, handing the elderly woman a wad of cash. “I’ll take that one.”

The woman was snapped from her staring, grabbing the bouquet and handing it to him. She smiled. “That must be for someone special.”

Bakugou looked down at the bouquet and down the long path he had yet to walk past. He smiled slightly. “You could say that…”

~~~

Bakugou clenched the bag of pastries in his left hand tightly as he pushed open the now familiar doors to Meijo Hospital. Yaoyorozu and Mina were excited and bubbly when they told Bakugou about visiting you when they ran into him during patrol. Truthfully, he felt guilty for not visiting you as often as he could. Now being a pro hero, he was constantly given work that put him in a position to have to rely on texting and calling you. Once he was free of work, it was already too late as visiting hours were closed. Nevertheless, you always reassured him and told him that you understood that he was busy saving people and you never once complained either. But he couldn’t help but think: were you lonely in that desolate room?

“Ground Zero!” The same receptionist behind the desk from Bakugou’s days in U.A. exclaimed with a bright smile. The other fairly new receptionists were shocked at the sight of the newly professional hero before them. “It’s been so long, I was wondering when you were coming.”

“I was busy. Is she still in room…?”

“405? Yup, she’s still in the same room,” the receptionist said, gesturing down the wide room towards the elevator.

Bakugou made his way towards the elevators, stopping in front of them as he finally took notice of the numerous eyes set on him as people began whispering to one another. Even though he thought he would’ve gotten used to the attention, and although most days he didn’t mind it, he felt particularly annoyed that day. He rolled his eyes, choosing to take the stairs instead. He trudged up the stairs, his footfalls echoing through the empty and long space.

The closer he got to the fourth floor, the heavier his chest felt. The last time he saw you was almost three weeks ago and he noticed how you had gotten sicker and sicker. Your cheekbones were poking against your skin as your face looked sunken in. Seeing how you had not only lost a considerable amount of weight but also how you looked weaker overall made Bakugou experience a pain he never thought he’d be able to feel. And despite your deteriorating appearance, you still had the brightest smile on your face. Your eyes lit up in a manner like no other and you continued to amaze Bakugou.

Bakugou finally reached your door, lingering outside for a few moments. He peered inside through the small frame of glass, watching as you sat up on your bed and looked down at your hands. You had a candle in your hands, taking in a large breath before attempting to use your quirk. You were fully concentrated on the wick of the candle as you slowly lifted your hand to the wick. Just as a small spark of a flame was beginning to form at the palm of your hand, you couldn’t control it and the flames engulfed the entire candle.

Right as Bakugou moved to push open the door to help you, you dropped it to the floor, instinctively grabbing the fire extinguisher and putting the mess out. You dropped the extinguisher to the floor as well, the metal causing a loud clanging sound to erupt even past the door. Bakugou watched as your fists grabbed the bed sheets in aggravation. The tears naturally fell from your eyes and there was no stop to them. You were holding in so many emotions and you couldn’t hold it in any longer. It was too tiring to act like you were always kept together when you just wanted to crumble sometimes.

Bakugou felt his hand clenching the handle of the door, slowly and quietly sliding it open. You didn’t bother looking up, expecting one your parents to have walked in to console you. “Mom, Dad, please leave me alone. I really want to be alone.” The words left your lips like a whisper.

You were greeted by a pair of sturdy arms wrapping themselves around your shaking body, a familiar yet comforting smell, hints of a caramel and earth fragrance engulfing your nostrils. Bakugou was warm against you, like he always was. But he felt even warmer that day.

Bakugou rubbed your back, dropping the bag of pastries on the stand by your bed. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on and I wanna think that you’re keeping it from me to spare my feelings. But you’re not in this alone. You don’t have to shoulder this pain on your own. You’re human and you don’t deserve to beat yourself up over this shit.”

The lump in your throat rose as uncontrollable sobs escaped your lips. Hearing Bakugou’s voice, one that you had missed listening to, made you feel comforted but the severity of your condition was taking a toll on not only your body but also your mental well-being. It had already been nearly two years since you were hospitalized.

Your tears painted his black tee but Bakugou didn’t mind as he rested his cheek against the top of your head and continued to rub your back. Sometimes the only thing you could do was let the tears fall until they ran out and it made it better to have someone there to just hold you.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out, wiping away the tears from your face and pulling away from Bakugou.

His hands rests on your shoulders, staring at you with disbelief and concern. “You don’t have to be sorry about this.”

You shook your head. “I… I should’ve just rejected you that night. I shouldn’t have let you get close to me.”

“What do you mean, Y/N?” The way your voice sounded frantic and rushed was mildly scaring Bakugou.

“The doctor is giving me the option of surgery to help me out but the chances of me making it out alive is slim,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you spoke.

Bakugou was perplexed, not understanding why you needed surgery in the first place but it also made him realize the severity of your condition. You looked up at him, laughing at yourself as you realized Bakugou’s confusion as you hadn’t told him what was happening to you. “I’m sorry for not explaining it before… but without making it too complex, my quirk is hurting me. It’s funny ‘cause it’s such a simple quirk, just some flames, but it’s not simple at the same time. Katsuki… my quirk is destroying me from the inside out.”

Bakugou didn’t realize how tightly he was gripping your shoulders as his crimson eyes looked back and forth from one eye to the other. He was waiting for the punchline, waiting for this to be a sick joke and that you weren’t in such a serious situation. He wanted to see your face break out into a smile, that same smile that made him fall head over heels for you. He waited for a moment but he felt his heart shatter to pieces as he continued to look back at the broken girl sitting before him.

He engulfed you back into his arms, holding onto your frail body tight enough that it wasn’t hurting you. He nuzzled his face into the crook on your neck, feeling the frustration build up within him. He never wanted to let you go ever again.

“It’s gonna be okay.”

The tears started culminating again as the sobs escaped your lips. Your hands gripped onto Bakugou’s black tee so tightly that you could feel your own fingernails stab into your palm. “I don’t know what to do, Katsu. What do I do? I’m so scared.”

Bakugou was at a loss for words. He didn’t know either, didn’t know how to comfort you or how to take away the fear you were experiencing. He pulled away from you, brushing away the hairs that were sticking to your tear soaked cheeks.

He let out a sigh. “If this surgery works, will you be okay?”

You nodded. “If it’s a success, my quirk won’t be any good but I’ll be able to live again. But if I don’t take it… there’s barely a guarantee that I’ll be able to live, too.”

Bakugou’s lips curled upwards slightly. “Then there’s your answer. You need to take any chance to get better, to get out of this fucking room. This is your life, Y/N. And I know you’re not the type to take this shit lying down.”

You sniffled, nodding along with him. “I am tired of this room. And… I just want to walk on my own two feet again. But I’m just so scared. I know that if I don’t take this surgery, I’ll be dead but this is just speeding up the process and the stakes are so high.”

Bakugou brought his hand up and patted your hair down. “There’s nothing to be scared of. Not when you’ve got your family and friends here. Not when you’ve got me here and there’s no way I’m letting some fucking quirk or sickness take you from me.”

A small laugh erupted within you, the first smile you had for weeks on your face. You brought your usual icy-cold hands up to cup Bakugou’s face, rubbing your thumb along the new scar on his brow bone from the last villain’s attack. “I keep hearing all the nurses say how strong and handsome ‘Pro Hero Ground Zero’ is. And whenever I see you on the news, I keep imagining the day I get to see you in your hero costume and see in person how you keep saving people’s lives.”

Your smile intensified as you looked back up at Bakugou’s eyes. You were deprived three weeks of seeing your boyfriend, wanting to bask in this moment longer than usual. “I kept thinking of that, you know, kept thinking about the day I can see you and spend time with you outside of this dreadful room. It’s been the only thing keeping me going.”

You sighed, leaning into him and pressing your cheek against his chest. You could hear how fast his heart began to beat, how even the slightest touch made him go crazy. “I don’t know how I could ever repay you for all of the things you’ve done for me, Katsuki.”

Bakugou scoffed, bringing his arms up to hold you against him. “I haven’t done shit, if anything I’m doing the bare minimum. All I’m doing is seeing you, that’s it.”

You shook your head against him. “You don’t understand. As much as I appreciate and love my parents and the others for visiting, the way I feel when I see your face is a feeling I can’t describe in words. Sometimes I feel like giving up, just throwing in the towel ‘cause sometimes that’s just easier. But then I think of you and how persistent and determined you are. I think about how you’ve never given up in your life, not even for a second. Most people see that ambition in you as arrogant but I see it as brave. And I want to be like you.”

Bakugou sighed once more. “You’re unbelievable. You’re the one in the hospital and here you are hyping me up and making my ego bigger than it already fucking is.”

A breathless laugh escaped your lips. Your arms tightened around his firm torso. “You’re a hero, Katsuki. You’re my hero.”

❝So, tell me now, how can I love the heartbreak when you’re the one I love,

To give you up because of love or from the heartache and pain

No, my heart, that's something I can never do❞

Bakugou groaned as his phone began vibrating once again. He begrudgingly fished it out on his pocket, answering it without bothering to acknowledge the caller ID. “What?”

“What, even your mother can’t get a decent ‘hello’ just ‘cause her son’s famous now?” Mitsuki huffed from the other line.

Bakugou rolled his eyes as he continued walking down the path. “What is it?”

“Kirishima called and told me that you’re visiting Y/N.” That fucking snitch… “Your dad wanted me to check up on you since it’s been two years since you’ve seen her.”

“He’s worrying for nothing. I’m fine.”

“Katsuki, you’re not fooling anyone. I can smell the bullshit all the way from here.” Bakugou could hear his mother sigh. “Are you sure you need to see her today? The way you two ended things...”

“Something’s telling me to meet up with her today, okay? I need to see her.”

Mitsuki paused before letting out another sigh. “I can’t even complain about your stubbornness ‘cause you got it from me. Since you’ve made up your mind, tell her ‘hi’ from me and your dad. And tell her we’ve missed her.”

“Alright.” He hung up, shoving his phone back into his pocket. He felt his heart skip a beat when the cool metal touched his fingertips. His feet stopped moving, the gust of wind blowing against his body as numerous cherry blossom petals floated against the wind. The metal band shined in the sun’s light, the giant diamond sitting on the band shining even brighter. Bakugou’s fingers curled around the ring in a fist. The memories from this ring were his favorite, one that he could recall perfectly. It was the one of the last times he saw that beautiful smile on your face, the smile that radiated purity and serenity.

~~~

The weather was practically unbearable that day. Bakugou could feel beads of sweat sliding down his forehead and neck as well as a pool forming at his palms and fingertips. Not only was he worn out from work and patrolling, the weather was just adding onto the trouble.

“Hmm, I wonder who you’re going to visit, Bakugou,” the same old receptionist teased as Bakugou walked up to the front desk and signed his name under the visiting section. She gasped as she took the clipboard from him.

“If I’m not here, who’s gonna keep that shitty girl company?” Bakugou said with a smirk, gripping the plastic bag in his hand.

The receptionist laughed as he walked away and said good-bye. It was like second nature by now to walk into Meijo Hospital to the point where Bakugou recognized nearly every doctor and nurse in your wing. A few of them grinned as he walked past them, going towards good ole room 405.

Bakugou slid the door open, confused as to why your room was empty. He looked down the hallway, getting the attention of one of the nurses. “Where’s Y/N?”

“She was with Nurse Takahashi earlier. She wanted some fresh air so I think she’s on the first floor,” the nurse responded.

Bakugou sighed, sliding the door shut. “This girl’s making me go through this whole fucking building to find her…” he thought to himself.

He begrudgingly made his way down to the first floor, deciding to take the elevator for once. Once he reached the lobby, he scanned the area, attempting to spot your (H/C) locks. He stepped outside, getting frustrated as he couldn’t figure out where you were. Knowing you, you were most likely hiding somewhere trying to scare him.

Which was exactly what you were doing.

Your attempt at popping out from the bush area, screaming ‘boo!’ was a fail as not only did Bakugou expect you to do that, but your being in a wheelchair didn’t help either.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “You’re always doing shit to give me a hard time, huh?”

You grinned widely. “Of course. I have to keep you on your toes.”

You wheeled yourself forward, heading away from the building. “Come on!”

“Are you even allowed to be out here?”

You nodded. “Mhm. Takahashi let me have some free time since I’m fully recovered from the surgery. Plus, I told him Ground Zero was coming to keep an eye on me.”

Bakugou sighed, placing the plastic bag in your lap as he took the handles on the wheelchair in his fists and wheeled you forward. “You’re not on the IV anymore?”

You shook your head, gasping inwardly in delight at the sight of the popsicles inside the bag. “I’m off pain killers. It’s been two weeks since the surgery, you know.”

“You still have to be careful. Didn’t that nurse guy say that there still isn’t a one-hundred percent chance of that quirk of yours being destroyed?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, licking the cool popsicle. “I’m fine, I swear. You’d think that with the six years we’ve been together you’d trust me more.”

“It’s ‘cause I’ve known you for six damn years that I know you get too excited and get reckless,” Bakugou huffed.

You snickered, leaning back. The preparation for the long-awaited surgery was one of the most nerve wracking experiences of your life. Just waiting for the day to come was the scariest part. Due to the severity of the process, as the medical staff was attempting to extract your quirk from you, it took years to prepare for it. Although using something as drastic as the Quirk-Destroying Drug used by the villain Overhaul would have made the process quicker and easier, the drug was mandated illegal for the purpose of the drug as well as the way in which it was created.

Once you went through with the surgery, the recovery period was also difficult to deal with. Your body was learning how to function again as years have passed since the quirk was slowly killing your insides. Although you were off painkillers, it would still take time and lots of physical and mental therapy to be how you were when you were just a teenager. Even though the surgery was a success, your quirk was reduced to the size of a fraction of a bean, meaning that there was still a chance that it could grow and weaken your body once again. Nevertheless, you took that chance and here you were, on your way to a normal life.

Although the recovery period was difficult and it is still difficult functioning everyday, Bakugou was there by your side for all of it. He made sure to visit and help your parents out as much as he could, balancing a demanding job on top of this. He would often get scolded by his agency but he didn’t give a damn. You were his top priority and you will always be his top priority.

You crossed your arm over your shoulder, putting your hand over Bakugou’s. He felt comforted by how warm your touch had become. “I’ve missed you, Katsuki.”

“The hell do you mean, I’ve been here the whole time?” Bakugou asked, pushing you towards the brick path he knew you loved so much.

You laughed, shrugging your shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s just that I haven’t been myself, my true self all these years because of all of this and now I finally feel like it again.”

Bakugou smiled softly. For years he saw the effects of your quirk on your physical and mental well-being. As much as you tried to be optimistic for him, your parents, and friends, Bakugou knew that deep down you were terrified and tired of being stuck in that damn room.

You pointed to one of the many wooden benches surrounding the edges of the path, one sitting right under a cherry blossom tree. “Let’s sit over there.”

Bakugou maneuvered you beside the bench, sitting down so he was right next to you. You handed him a popsicle, one that he took happily as the sun’s intensity only increased. Although Bakugou had gotten used to it, you were shocked at how many people were staring at the two of you. You smiled. “I knew you were popular but I didn’t know you were this popular.”

Bakugou smirked, crumpling the wrapper and throwing it into the plastic bag. “You’re looking at a top hero. Of course they’re all staring.”

You laughed. “They’re probably wondering who I am next to you.”

“They can wonder all they want. I don’t give a fuck what they think but if anyone even thinks about saying any nasty comments about you, I’ll fucking destroy them.”

You chuckled, shaking your head and leaning into him. “Always so violent no matter what, huh?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Eventually the people stopped staring right in front of you, slowly walking past you and making you feel comfortable with the lack of prying eyes. You took notice to Bakugou’s bangs sticking to his forehead, pulling out one of your hair clips. Clipping his hairs back onto his head, Bakugou flinched at your sudden action. “The hell are you doing?”

“You looked hot so I’m just helping you out.” You giggled at how cute he looked, forehead exposed to the world and his same old grumpy face.

“I better not look stupid with this shit in my hair,” he grumbled.

“You look a-dor-able,” you said, enunciating slowly. You pointed down the path. “Let’s go! That’s enough lounging around!”

“You’re the one who wanted to sit here.”

“I know but I want to go down this whole path before the sunsets and we have to head back to the hospital.”

“Alright, gimme a second,” Bakugou said, standing up and pushing you once more.

As you walked with him, Bakugou yelled as he realized the amount of people snickering as they walked past you guys, taking notice to his new hairdo. You laughed along with them and despite his complaining and whining, Bakugou didn’t dare to touch his hair.

Unfortunately, your wish to reach the end of the path was cut short as a woman screaming startled everyone in the area as well as you and Bakugou. Bakugou whipped his head around to the source of the sound, you leaning on the side of the wheelchair to catch a glimpse of the commotion. Bakugou only needed a few seconds to spot a man in a hoodie running in the opposite direction of a flustered woman pointing at him. He had a purse in his hand.

“This asshole,” Bakugou muttered. He quickly pushed you to the side of the path so that you weren’t in the middle of the walkway. “Wait right here.”

“Oka--”

Bakugou ran in the opposite direction before you could say anything else, pushing his hands behind him and using his quirk to increase his momentum. He looked behind him momentarily, making sure no one was behind him to be harmed by his quirk. Once he got closer to the culprit, he yelled, “Hey! Asshole!”

The man turned around, gasping as Bakugou kicked him to the ground, his foot on his torso as the man groaned in pain from the impact of his kick. Bakugou leaned down, snatching the purse from his hand. Fortunately, due to being so close to a hospital, a few security guards rushed towards Bakugou, taking care of the man and thanking Bakugou for his help. Even bystanders walking down the brick path began cheering and clapping, getting a glimpse of the infamous Ground Zero at work.

Bakugou made his way down the path, handing the woman her purse silently before walking towards you. “Thank you, hero!” She called out.

Bakugou waved her off as he caught sight of you, a wide smile on your face as you were joining in on the clapping. Bakugou scoffed at you, moving your wheelchair from the curb. “You don’t have to clap.”

“Oh, come on! It’s my first time seeing you in action, it was exciting!” You exclaimed.

Bakugou chuckled, continuing to wheel you down the path like he had intended before you were rudely interrupted. He patted down his pants, panicking slightly when he felt his pockets empty. Shoving his hand into his pocket, he let out a sigh of relief when he found what he was looking for.

You turned back, eyeing him. “Did you lose something?”

“No,” Bakugou said a little too quickly, making you even more suspicious.

“O-kay,” you said cautiously, deciding to drop the matter… for now. You looked down the path as the brick and cobble road slowly started to fade. “Where are we going?”

“We’re almost there. You love this road, don’t ya? Thought you’d enjoy this, too,” Bakugou said, nodding to the sight ahead of you. You gasped inwardly as you stared ahead. As the brick path ended, the path was located on a slope, looking down on the metropolitan area. The sun was setting, painting the sky with purple and orange hues. The U.A. building stood tall in the center of all of the commotion of the city, giving you an even more perfect view of the city than the rooftop of the hospital. Plus, there were barely any people huddled around this area as they were too engrossed with the cherry blossom trees to enjoy the view.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered in awe.

Bakugou smirked, pleased with himself. He sat down on the curb, at the top of the hill and enjoying the sight. You smiled, getting up slowly, wanting to join him. He stopped you, getting to his feet and gently pushing you back onto the chair. “What're you doing?!”

“I want to sit with you,” you said simply.

“But you can’t walk now.”

“I can walk a little,” you said, raising your two fingers. “You’re worrying too much. I can move this much just to sit next to you, you know.”

Bakugou sighed, knowing that there was no point in arguing with you. He grabbed your hand, helping you sit beside him and he pushed the wheelchair behind the two of you. You smiled up at him, scooting closer to him and latching onto his arm. “It’s nice to spend time like this with you.”

Bakugou hummed, his hand in his pocket as he looked over to you. “It makes me excited to think about all the memories we’ll make when I’m all better,” you said excitedly.

“Me too,” Bakugou said, sweat forming on his forehead once more. His palms were beginning to sweat as well, this time not from the heat.

You took notice to his nervousness, furrowing your brows. “What’s wrong, Katsu?”

Bakugou gripped the object in his pocket with such force that he was shocked it hadn’t broken. He sighed. “Being here with you makes me think about the future.”

You smiled, pinching his cheek teasingly. “What, you’re nervous to spend your future with me?”

He turned to face you, his eyes piercing right through you. He took the velvet box out from his pocket, flicking it open to reveal a metal band with a giant diamond sitting on top of it, one that would put the sun to shame with it shining brightly before you. “No. It makes me fucking excited to want to spend my whole life with you.”

Your eyes widened as you took notice to the engagement ring in his calloused hands. You could only shake your head, not able to believe what you were seeing or form any coherent words. Tears started forming as you stared at him. You were speechless, overwhelmed with love and feelings of security. As time passed and your condition worsened, it was harder and harder for you to even dream about things like marriage. But with Bakugou by your side giving you hope and pushing you to want to get better, it made you believe; can you really live a normal life again?

“Shit, did I fuck it up?” Bakugou asked angrily, annoyed with himself. “I’m supposed to get down on one knee and shit, aren’t I?”

Your (E/C) eyes watched on as Bakugou got up and went down on his left knee, holding the box up to you with an intense look on his face. You covered your mouth in disbelief, the tears now streaming down your face.

“Y/N, will you marry--”

“Yes!” You screamed, your voice echoing through the air. You attacked him into an aggressive hug, causing Bakugou to lose balance and fall backward onto the grassy area. Luckily he managed to catch your body and not lose the expensive ring at the same time. You buried your head into his neck, sobbing as your tears splattered his skin. “A million times yes!”

Bakugou laughed, a weight lifting of his shoulders. “You idiot, I could’ve dropped this shit, ya know?” His expression didn’t match his tone as he grinned widely.

You got up, still on top of him and wiping your face despite your sobbing never ceasing. Bakugou sighed, sitting up and pulling you into his embrace. “You’re not supposed to cry.”

You sniffled, leaning into his shoulder. “I’m just so happy, Katsuki.”

Bakugou shook his head, taking your left hand from your face and sliding the ring onto your finger. He caressed your hair, laughing at your tear-streaked face. You wiped your face once more, gasping for air in between your sobs. “It’s just… for the longest time I didn’t know if I’d ever survive to see the next day. And… And now you’re giving me hope to spend our lives together.”

Bakugou smiled, wiping your face as well, cupping your face in his hands. “Well now it gives you all the more reason to wanna get better.”

You laughed breathlessly, finally ceasing the tears from falling. You looked down at your hand, smiling at the ring. “You don’t understand, Katsuki, you’ve helped me survive more than you’ll ever know.”

You leaned in, planting a soft and warm kiss on his cheek. “You’re the reason why I still exist, Katsu. You give me a reason to want to wake up the next day.”

❝How could I do that to you

Our love that runs deep as the ocean,

Waiting till it runs dry…

The wind was strong that morning. But it wasn’t a slight breeze like usual as it brought harsh flurries of snow and frost along with it. Fortunately for Bakugou, who’s quirk was well suited for these harsh conditions, was fine as he made his way to his agency.

Right when he opened the doors, he was attacked into a hug. Kaminari smiled at him as he attempted to leech off of his warmth. “Kacchan!”

Bakugou grimaced, lifting him up by his shirt and dropping him on the floor. “Don’t ever fucking touch me or say that name ever again, dunce face.”

“Oh, come on! It’s not fair that you get all that warmth ‘cause of your quirk!” Kaminari complained, leaning on the front desk as he shivered in his costume.

Kirishima greeted the two, also clad in his hero costume. “Took you long enough.”

“What the hell are you two doing here anyways?” Bakugou asked, nodding at his receptionists as they greeted him. He made his way to his office and Kaminari and Kirishima followed him.

“We were in town after taking down some giant goat villain,” Kirishima said.

Bakugou closed the door behind them. “Goat villain?”

“Yeah, it was pretty weird. But we knew your place was nearby and we wanted to pay you a visit!” Kaminari exclaimed. “We also wanted to see how Y/N’s doing.”

Kirishima perked up. “Yeah, how is she, man? I heard she’s still in recovery from that surgery from like a year ago.”

Bakugou nodded, taking his gauntlets off and tossing them to the side. “She’s getting better with time. She was getting physical therapy so her body gets used to fixing the damage from her quirk but she got sick so she’s at the hospital.”

Kaminari sighed. “That poor girl can never catch a break. And here I was thinking you two could’ve at least gotten married.”

Bakugou slipped his gloves off and threw them onto his desk. “We already did.”

Kaminari and Kirishima both jumped up, eyes wide. “What?!”

Bakugou showed them the wedding band on his finger. “We didn’t want a ceremony and she didn’t feel like waiting so we just did the paperwork s’all.”

“Congratulations, man!” Kirishima said excitedly.

Kaminari pouted, slumping down on one of the chairs in front of Bakugou’s desk. “No fair, I bet Y/N would’ve looked real pretty in a wedding dress.”

Bakugou glared at him, taking off the rest of his gear including his eye mask and leaving his jacket-like top and pants on. “You better get those perverted thoughts out of your fucking head.”

Kaminari raised his hands up defensively. “I wasn’t thinking anything perverted! I just thought she’d look pretty!”

“Well you’re a fucking pervert either way so I don’t trust any bullshit that comes out of your mouth.”

Kirishima sighed, shaking his head as his two friends continued to argue. Bakugou's phone buzzed on the desk and Kirishima gestured to it. “You gonna get that?”

Bakugou grabbed it, looking at the caller ID. It was your dad, in fact he had numerous missed calls from him. He answered the call, bringing the phone up to his ear. “Hello?”

“Katsuki! Thank goodness you answered, I’ve been trying to reach you for some time now!” His voice sounded frantic on the other end.

“Sorry, I leave my phone in my office when I’m wor--”

“Never mind that; it’s about Y/N.”

Bakugou felt his heart nearly stop beating as he heard your father’s next words, dropping his phone to the floor. He bolted out the room in a panic, ignoring Kaminari and Kirishima’s worried shouts from behind him as he made his way to Meijo Hospital.

***

The receptionist gave Bakugou a worried look as she saw him dashing for the elevator. Normally she would’ve scolded him for running in the lobby but she had heard the grave news as well, turning a blind eye to the matter. Bakugou aggressively jammed the button on the elevator as the doors closed, the ding sound intensifying as he reached the fourth floor. He used his quirk to push him forward as he finally got to your wing, your parents sitting down nervously in the waiting room.

Bakugou approached them, breathing heavily as his heart pounded against his chest. “Where is she?”

Your mother was crying as your father comforted her. He looked up at Bakugou with worry. “The doctor said they don’t know what happened, they said that she was fine one minute and then… they had to go into immediate surgery. Her organs are failing her.”

Bakugou’s legs gave out underneath him, luckily managing to sit on the chair beneath him and next to your father. The surgery from last year was a success and you were slowly yet surely on your way to recovery. “She was fine… what the fuck went wrong?”

Your mother got up, wiping her eyes as she continued crying. “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

Your father nodded sadly, watching as she walked down the hall. He turned to Bakugou, sighing. “I’m sure Y/N spared you the complexity of her condition as the medical reason for it is pretty difficult to understand. But similar to your quirk secreting nitroglycerin in your sweat, Y/N’s quirk secretes hydrogen cyanide.”

Bakugou listened intently. “What does that do?”

“Hydrogen cyanide is extremely toxic for the body but it is also flammable, which is what allowed Y/N to create her flames. However, unlike your quirk that secretes nitroglycerin primarily to your sweat, Y/N’s quirk secretes it directly from her endocrine system. I’m not sure if you know but the endocrine system regulates the body by secreting chemical substances into the bloodstream.”

“And that hydrogen cyanide shit’s been in her bloodstream this whole time?” Bakugou asked, not being able to believe what he was hearing.

Your father nodded, the frown still wrinkled on his face. “With the hydrogen cyanide being secreted in her bloodstream, it is affecting her organs, especially since the endocrine system regulates metabolic functions. When she was a child, the secretion was not too much for her to be hospitalized but slowly the dosage started increasing as she got older. She’s had so many of these surgeries but with each surgery, the risk of her being fatally injured in the process kept increasing, too.”

Your father gripped his knees in his hands in anger, frustrated to no end. “No matter what we do… no matter what we try to do to help her live her life, that damn quirk keeps manifesting. All these surgeries are just delaying the process. Her quirk is slowly burning her up.”

Bakugou looked down the hall, staring at your room. He could faintly hear the doctors and nurses’ voices through the door, hearing how frantic and rushed they sounded. All your life you’ve been fighting your own body and Bakugou refused to believe that it was going to end like this.

Your father clapped a hand onto Bakugou’s shoulder, giving him a weary smile. “Don’t worry, son, we’ve got to be hopeful for her. She’ll get through this, she always has.”

“There’s no way I’m ever giving up on her. I married her because I want to spend the rest of my life with her… only her. I’m not letting her leave me like this,” Bakugou said adamantly.

***

Time was going painstakingly slow. Bakugou had already drank three cups of shitty hospital coffee, your mother had gone through two boxes of tissues as her tears kept coming, and your father had bitten his fingernails into short nubs. Remembering how he left Kaminari and Kirishima, Bakugou asked your dad for his phone, dialing Kirishima’s number in.

“Bakugou! We’ve been worried sick, man! What the hell happened?” Kirishima asked in a concerned tone.

“Y/N’s in surgery. I’m with her parents at the hospital. I dunno when it’ll be over,” Bakugou said, leaning against the wall.

“Do you want us to come, too?” Kirishima asked after pausing for a moment.

“No, we’re fine here.” The door to your room finally opened and Bakugou perked up immediately. “The doctors are out, I gotta go.”

Bakugou hung up, handing the phone back to your dad as the three of them got up and started crowding the doctors and nurses coming out of the room.

“How is she, doctor?” Your father asked, hopeful for some good news.

The doctors looked uncomfortable, one finally speaking up after what felt like an eternity of silence. “She’s strong. Probably one of the strongest patients I’ve ever had… but it’s not going to work out.”

Bakugou felt his heart drop to his feet. “The hell do you mean?”

The doctor frowned, nervous with Bakugou’s tone. “She has ten minutes left. That quirk of hers was too strong to get rid of even with the surgeries she’s had. We managed to get these last moments for her. We’re so sorry.”

The doctors and nurses bowed to them to show their condolences. Your mother let out a shrieking sob, running into your room immediately. Your father followed suit, rushing to be by your side. But Bakugou couldn’t help but be frozen on the spot. No matter how much he tried to move his feet, he couldn’t do anything. He refused to believe that this was reality, wishing for this to be his worst nightmare.

Finally he moved, his legs feeling like jelly as he collapsed to the ground, his back hitting the wall. He buried his face in his hands, pulling at his hairs in frustration. You were fine, all this time you were on your way to a full recovery. You were smiling brightly just this morning and now… you were on your deathbed?

Your father stepped out, his tear-stricken face evident as he sniffled. “She wants to see you, Katsuki.”

Bakugou snapped his head towards him, nodding as he rose to his feet. He had to drag his feet into your room, terrified of what he was going to see. He sucked in his breath as he made eye contact with you.

You were hooked to so many machines Bakugou couldn’t keep count. You looked inhumanely pale, your veins peeking through your skin. Your hair stuck to your face and you looked exhausted. Nevertheless, you had the most beautiful smile on your face, one that could make Bakugou fall in love with you all over again. “Katsu… ki.”

Bakugou crouched down beside your bed, holding onto your hand. Your other hand was held by both your parents. Bakugou hadn’t taken notice to the tears falling from his eyes until you brought a shaky hand up to wipe them away. “Katsuki, don’t… cry.”

Bakugou felt himself breathing heavily as the tears continued to fall as he held your hand tightly in his. “You idiot, don’t tell me what to do. Not when you’re here like this.”

You let out a breathy and weak laugh, maintaining your smile. “You really are amazing, Katsuki.”

The tight knot-like feeling in Bakugou’s chest refused to leave as the tears drowned his vision. But he wiped them away vigorously, refusing to lose sight of you. Your eyes wandered down, looking at Bakugou’s clothes. “I finally got to see you in your hero costume…”

“Stop talking, you’re making it worse,” Bakugou mumbled incoherently, his lips quivering as he tried to maintain his composure. Your parents held onto you as tightly as Bakugou did, all three refusing to believe the reality and gravity of the situation unfolding before them.

You smiled once again, using all of the strength you had left to maintain that withering smile. You brought a shaky hand up to Bakugou’s cheek, rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone.

Bakugou’s vision became blurry, tears welling in his eyes as he gritted his teeth in pure anger. “You’re so fucking incredible, you know that? And so badass and strong.”

Your chest was rising and falling unevenly as it became harder and harder for you to breathe. Glancing over to your parents, your eyes glazed with your own tears. “I’m sorry Mom and Dad.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re so proud of you, sweetie,” your mother croaked, your father nodding along.

You smiled once more, a tear gliding down your face. “I love you both. Please look after… Katsuki. And each other.”

The monitor began beeping slowly and Bakugou held your hand in his once again, clenching it as tightly as he could. You gave his hand the slightest squeeze, turning your head to look at him. “Tell the others… that I’m sorry… didn’t get to say goodbye.”

Bakugou nodded vigorously, bringing your enclosed hands to his lips as he planted a soft kiss against your cold skin. “Don’t go, Y/N. Please.”

You laughed again, smiling sympathetically at him. “I wish… we could be… together forever…”

You smiled, your eyes closing slowly. “At least now… I can finally… leave this damn room…”

The heart monitor continued to beep slower and slower. Time stood still as Bakugou heard your last words ring in his ears. “I love you, Bakugou Katsuki. I love you… more than life…”

Bakugou and your parents stared on as your chest fell for the final time, the flatlining of the monitor echoing through Bakugou’s head. Your fingers went limp in Bakugou’s hand and Bakugou felt himself shake with anger.

“This is some fucking joke… there’s no way this is real…” Bakugou whispered.

The doctors came back into the room, and Bakugou didn’t even notice their presence or your mother passing out onto the floor. As they went over to her side to assist her, your father approached Bakugou. He put a hand on his shoulder. “Son, come on, let’s go.”

“No!” Bakugou pushed his hand away, his eyes blazed as he continued to hold your hand in his. “I’m not leaving this room!”

He looked over to the nurses by the doorway. “You’ve got to do something… anything! We can still save her!”

“Katsuki… please,” your father whispered desperately, his body shaking as his own tears never stopped.

“Ground Zero, sir, there’s nothing else we can do--”

“Bullshit,” Bakugou growled, interrupting the doctor. “She’s not dead! She was fine a few days ago! And you want me to believe that she’s fucking gone?!”

“Katsuki, you need to open your eyes, son,” your father was pleading beside him on the floor by your bed. “This is just as hard for you as it is for us.”

Bakugou got to his feet, his fists shaking at his sides as sparks ignited in his palms by his rage. He couldn’t look at you, refusing to see your limp body lying on the bed. He refused to believe anything. “Believe whatever the fuck you want.”

Bakugou ignored the shouts behind him as he stormed out of the room, running as fast as he could. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was doing, going wherever his feet were taking him. She’s not dead, she’s not dead, SHE’S NOT DEAD was all that was repeating in Bakugou’s mind.

That dreary day in room 405 was one that Bakugou would never forget but was also one he would do whatever he could do to forget. He turned his back on everything that day, and he never came back.

~~~

Two years had passed since then. Two painstakingly long years. After that night, Bakugou left the country, travelling to different places to somehow take the pain away, but it was no use. Your face continued to pop up in his mind like a constant reminder that you were gone.

The first month, Bakugou went to South Korea and China. He tried to indulge himself in anything that would distract him. And as hard as he tried, every night he’d wake up in the middle of the night with the image of your dead body in room 405 haunting him.

The next few months, he covered all of Asia, moving to the Middle East, Europe, Africa and so on. He didn’t answer any calls from his parents, your parents, his agency, or his friends. He submitted a leave of absence to his agency, one that he knew would be approved because it was his agency.

Sooner rather than later, a year had gone by and Bakugou was still on his pilgrimage to find something to fill the hole that you had left in him but to no avail. After two months, Bakugou finally returned to Japan, coming home to a frenzy of media as he had decided to go back to work. His colleagues and friends wanted to question him, question what he had been doing but didn’t have the heart to do so. They knew how difficult your death was on him.

When Bakugou went to his family home, he was greeted with swear words and constant yelling from his mother. But he ignored it, actually apologizing to his parents. And like that, Bakugou returned to his life as a pro hero.

However, things took a turn as he finally decided to quit seeking refuge with his parents and return to the home he had bought to live with you once you were fully recovered. The minute he opened the door, he collapsed to the floor, tears welling in his eyes for the first time in a long time as he saw pictures of you everywhere. The pain came back and it hit him like a punch to the face.

Finally here he was today, as Bakugou finally came to a stop at the brick road. The sun was setting, just like it was when he proposed to you on this same hill that day. Bakugou felt a chill down his spine as his eyes fixated onto your gravesite. The grassy area beside the path had been turned to a gravesite per your family’s request. It was your favorite part of the city and everyone who knew you knew how much you loved the area.

Bakugou stopped moving, his feet frozen in place and his hands clenching around the bouquet as he stared intently at your tombstone. He took a deep breath in and out, bracing himself as he took a few slow steps forward. Once Bakugou mustered enough strength to finally step before your grave, he fell to his knees, gently placing the bouquet in front of the urn of ashes. He took the incense sticks and matches on the side of your grave and lit a stick, placing it beside the flowers.

“I’m finally here, Y/N,” Bakugou said breathlessly, smiling softly. “I’m a really shitty husband for showing up two years late, but I’m here.”

He looked at your name engraved into the stone, that alone making his heart beat faster. Bakugou got up from his position and sat down cross legged in front of your grave, letting out a deep sigh. “I’m the biggest asshole there is. My wife died and I didn’t even go to her funeral ‘cause I didn’t wanna believe that it was true that you were gone.”

Bakugou felt his eyes begin to water and he attempted to suppress them, not wanting to cry in front of you. “Death is a fucked up thing, ya know. I saw your body in that damn room, I saw it with my own eyes. But I still didn’t want to believe it because you were still in that room. But when I left, I thought I would come to my senses but I didn’t. I didn’t realize you were really gone until I woke up in the middle of the night and you weren’t next to me to tell me it’s okay. You weren’t there motivating me even when I was being a dumbass or being hard on myself. You weren’t there to say that you love me.”

Despite how hard he tried, a single tear fell from Bakugou’s eye, one that he wiped away immediately. He didn’t want this “reunion” to be a sad one. “Months after I left I realized that you were really gone. Because when you died, it didn’t hit me all at once. It hit me slowly day by day as I began to see you weren’t there. And it fucking hurts, Y/N. It fucking hurts to not see you here.”

Bakugou reached into his pocket, pulling out your ring and put it inside the bouquet. “Your dad mailed that to the house when I came back and I thought I was gonna pass out on the spot. Your parents almost had a heart attack once they saw me after all this time without telling them anything. Hell, my folks were pissed, too, ‘specially my mom and she almost beat my ass.”

Bakugou let out a humorless laugh and then another sigh. “Kirishima and my parents said ‘hi’ by the way and how much they missed you. Kaminari, Sero, and the girls also miss you, too. We all fucking miss you, Y/N. And I’d do anything to have you next to me.”

“But that’s not the point,” Bakugou said adamantly. “I’m not gonna sit here and mope about how much I wish you were here ‘cause that’s expected. I know you wouldn’t want me to be sad ‘cause you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever known who cares way too much about others than she does about herself. And I want you to know that you don’t have to worry about me. I’ve got people here to do that, so you just relax up there. You’re finally free, Y/N. You’re free from that sad ass room and I hope you’re finally happy now.”

Bakugou reached into his pocket one last time, pulling out the unlit and destroyed candles that you had attempted to light a few years ago using your quirk. He placed them beside the bouquet. “Whenever I see these shits I get pissed ‘cause it reminds me about your quirk, about how something you couldn’t control and something that was supposed to help you was what killed you. But now I look at it and it reminds me about all the time we spent together, about all the times we spent in that room.”

Bakugou looked up at your gravesite for one final time, memorizing it as best as he could. “I know you didn’t want me to be a fucked up mess when you were gone, but I couldn’t help it. The heartbreak I felt when you left me is a feeling I could never describe ‘cause it fucking sucks. But I’d go through it all over again if it meant just having another minute with you.”

Bakugou raised a hand to the stone, his fingers tracing the engraving of your name. “I’ve never loved and will never love anyone as much as I love you, (L/N) (F/N). And I can’t wait for the day when I can see you again…”

…will be the day we bid our last goodbye.❞

#bnhabookclub #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my hero academia imagines #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader

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chat-noir-always-here · 3 years

Text

“Hey Arnold!” and “Miraculous!” parallels

Ever have an idea for a post that you take forever to get around to because 2020 is

actively

trying

to kill you?!

Welp, that’s me. I mean, uh, this is that post.

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts cuz I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of text like these.

So there’s this show from my childhood called Hey Arnold!

Having been on air before I had cable (I and my unsupervised brothers and sisters spent our childhood watching Jerry Springer and Maury because there was literally nothing else on our cheap little TV. How hilarious is that?) I didn’t really have much of an experience with Hey Arnold! aside from brief little glances at it when i visited a friends home or the rare occasion where they showed cartoons at school. By the time I got satellite, the show was no longer on the air save for some late night reruns and the Christmas special which aired in December along with other Nickelodeon Christmas episodes (THE best Christmas episode EVER btw).

Really I couldn’t remember much about it until hearing about the Jungle Movie finally getting a release date (a total flop but at least its no cliff hanger) and decided to re-watch the entire series in preparation for said movie.

By which point I had discovered another show—Miraculous.

At first glance the two shows have absolutely nothing in common. Miraculous being a French-born mahou shoujo-esque CGI superhero TV series about a couple of middle schoolers who regularly battle a walking peppermint-frappucino-looking psychopath. Hey Arnold! being a more realistic children’s sitcom about a young football-headed boy who deals out humanitarian aid in the form of advice and simple good deeds to his neighbors, classmates and friends.

In terms of setting, logic, and animation the two series are as different as night and day.

So imagine my pleasant surprise to discover a whole post’s worth of parallels shared between the two shows???

And here they are in no particular order:

1)Arnold’s Parents/Adrien’s mom

Prior to the start of Miraculous, Emilie Agreste disappeared under mysterious circumstances leaving her family behind. Later on it was revealed that she was in fact sleeping (dead?) in a glass coffin beneath the Agreste mansion--unbeknownst to Adrien, or anyone else in Paris save for Gabriel and Nathalie.

In a similar fashion, Arnold’s parents, Miles and Stella, also disappeared prior to the start of Hey Arnold! and like Emilie were always referred to as “missing” rather than “dead.”

The Jungle Movie later revealed Miles and Stella weren’t dead, but like Emilie appears to be doing in her coffin, they were sleeping. Having caught a bout of sleeping sickness (apparently they do not need to be hooked up to IVs or other medical devices while in a comatose state cuz fuck logic) they simply needed their orphaned son to come and cure them with the help of the magical golden heart Helga provided him with.

Perhaps Mari holds the key to waking Emilie? That would be nice to see.

Not the miraculous of course--but some other key.

Although personally I’m hoping for a hardcore, devastating ending like Emilie dying, Gabriel going to prison where he belongs, and Adrien leaving the country for a bit until the second Hawk Moth shows up because I just like devastating cliffhangers and angst and being in utter turmoil over fictional people. But that’s just me.

2) Their best friends are dating

Smol parallel here: Arnold’s best friend Gerald and Helga’s Best friend Phoebe wind up together in The Jungle Movie after being imprisoned together by Lasombra. Similar to how Nino and Alya ended up together after being imprisoned by Ladybug (for their protection, of course).

3) The Bag of Money Episode/ The Ladybug episode

OOh boy both of these episodes make me rage.

Some context about the Bag of Money episode: Arnold and his friends Gerald and Sid find a random bag of money containing almost $4000. Sid is ecstatic and wants to split the money evenly between the three boys, but Arnold worries it could just be lost and convinces them to let him, Arnold, take the money to the police station. On the way he accidentally switches the bag with another one that is identical and contains a bunch of useless junk, and when he tries to explain what happened to his friends they don’t believe him because their bag of money was accidentally taken by an “old lady with pink hair and a peg leg.”

Arnold’s a good boy and he’s telling the truth--but the truth sounds crazy, even to my ears. Sid accuses Arnold of stealing the money and spreads lies to their classmates, whom Arnold has spent the ENTIRE SERIES helping in some form or fashion. Despite everything he’s done for them though, the vast majority of the class come to believe Arnold is a thief. Even Gerald, Arnold’s closest friend, nearly believes Sid over Arnold but eventually comes to Arnold’s defense. The other kids (save for Helga who doesn’t really make an appearance this episode) gang up on Arnold, but thankfully the old lady with pink hair and a peg leg shows up with an officer and together they explain the bag of money is now at the lost and found where it will remain and if gone unclaimed will be returned to Arnold, Gerald and Sid.

Pretty much everything is resolved and things return to normal between the kids.

But I hate this episode. I hate this episode so, so much. Arnold has spent the entire series helping these people out in some form or fashion. Literally thats the entire show. And after everything he’s done for them they’re so. Quick. To. Turn. On. Him.

Sound familiar???

4) Hidden Personality vs. Surface Personality

I do not refer to the cruddy “true selves” thing half the Miraculous fandom believes in. Depending on one’s individual circumstances, environment and how comfortable they are, said person’s behavior can fluctuate or even do a complete 180. This can be kinda frustrating when dealing on one’s own--”Who am I anyway? Is that me or is this me???”

It’s all you, fam.

Arnold and Helga are themselves too, no matter what metaphorical/actual mask they put on. There’s the side that everyone sees and then there’s the side almost no one sees. The hidden personality isn’t hidden due to a lack of trust, necessarily, but rather it is the result of retreating to their respective “shells”--ones which both Arnold and Helga were kinda punched, kicked, and shoved into.

Helga’s surface personality: Class bully, puts up a tough front, constantly torments Arnold because she can’t stand him and his niceness

Helga’s hidden personality: Poetic, abused and isolated, is in love with Arnold to the point of being obsessed with him and bullies him via surface personality in order to hide that fact

Of course Adrien is no bully--his reasons for not being the “cunning, funny, ultra-charming Chat Noir” 24/7 DOES have a lot to do with his toxic household, his dad, and the overwhelming expectations which are constantly smothering him as Adrien.

Adrien is a bug under a magnifying glass (or so he feels)

Chat Noir is a chance for a freedom.

Adrien’s surface personality was molded by his dad.

Helga’s is the result of her entire family. Her father is brash and loud, her mother is a confirmed alcoholic, her sister is a gifted prodigy, well-rounded and spends most of the series at university or elsewhere. Although her sister, Olga, has been shown to genuinely care for Helga, Olga is kinda the reason their parents neglect Helga. With their first daughter being the genius and prodigy she is, Helga’s parents poured all of their pride and affection and parental devotion onto her. Meanwhile Helga had to walk to pre-school alone. At four years old. In the rain. Not for the last time.

Which leads me to the next parallel.

5) Umbrella in the Rain

squeals in delight over this parallel<3<3<3

If you’ve never seen Hey Arnold! do yourselves a favor and watch this short little clip over how Helga and Arnold first met. If you have seen it, watch it anyway because it is the most adorable clip in the entire show.

youtube

Dr. Bliss: “So nobody’s ever noticed you?”

Helga: “...There was someone.”

The soft way Helga confesses that--you can actually hear how grateful she is to have such a tender memory from such a painful time.

In a similar manner, Adrien offered his umbrella to Marinette. Of course Adrien did it because Mari had to walk home in the rain and Arnold did it as a simple gesture of kindness (seeing as they were already at the school)--one of the many kind acts he displays throughout the series.

But just like Adrien needed unconditional love coming from somewhere, so did Helga. They were both denied this one common necessity which everyone else around them had. It’s not a lot to ask for, and they should’ve already had it coming from their families--but they didn’t.

And then, one rainy day, there it was--the unconditional love they needed.

6) Clinginess

What happens when you take someone, specifically a love-starved abused child from an unstable home environment--deprived of the one thing most crucial to their mental well-being--and miraculously provide them with that very necessity?

Clinginess.

I can’t really think of the correct word to describe this. “Clinginess” is pretty close to what I’m trying to describe, if not on point, so let’s go with that.

What I mean is Helga and Adrien both need Arnold and Ladybug respectively. That’s not a bad thing--it’s okay to need somebody else. What’s bad is hinging your entire being on this one connection. For if either kiddo were to be left behind they wouldn’t handle it very well.

It can’t really be helped with either Helga or Adrien. They didn’t really have the option to learn certain things and went deprived of unconditional love for such a long time. They’re kids--nine and fourteen/fifteen respectively. They’re not perfect and they’re traumatized for life. Being denied love from your family--the very people designed to love you--would do that to a person. Naturally they would cling to the first people to show up and provide them with the love they needed.

The Hey Arnold! wiki says this about Helga and Arnold’s relationship

Due to her unstable family upbringing where both her mother and father constantly neglect [Helga] and shower all of their attention onto Olga, leaving her deprived of the love and attention she needed growing up. On her way to preschool, Arnold helped her by keeping the rain off her with an umbrella and even complimented her on her hairbow. He even later gave her crackers during their snack time. Arnold's kindness and being the first person to notice her quickly caused Helga to transfer all of her love and attention to Arnold.

Of course Adrien’s tunnel vision isn’t quite as bad as Helga’s.

He treats his friends better.

He does love his father--

Even though his father is THE.

WORST.

PARENT.

EVER!!!

--because he’s Adrien and he’s just too precious a cinnamon roll and that’s still his dad even if the man does belong behind bars.

7) Unhealthy Obsession

I--

I...

Ugh. I am not going to delve too far into this. You’re just going to have to take my word for it. Helga’s creepy stalker behavior is a thousand times worse than Marinette’s. That pic up there of Helga hiding out in Arnold’s room watching him is pretty decent evidence to back up my argument, but it’s hardly the only example or even the worst incident.

Honestly I’m amazed at what Nicktoons were able to get away with in the late nineties/early 2000s.

But yes, Helga’s obsession with Arnold is rather unhealthy in the most extreme moments leading her to display behavior which is more often than not disturbing and concerning.

The Hey Arnold! wiki has this to say about Helga’s obsession with Arnold

Helga is possessive of her love for Arnold and thinks non-stop about him to the point of obsession. This is evidenced throughout the series by the many shrines and poems she makes of Arnold and of her frequent dramatic soliloquies about her love for Arnold.

Again--Mari isn’t as bad as all that. She’s a sweet girl with many healthy relationships in her life. She has ambition, creativity, and drive. But yeah she can be rather possessive of Adrien too, and that needs to stop. Like right now. Adrien doesn’t need another girl being possessive of him and thinking he’s perfect--he needs someone who acknowledges him as a flawed person and loves him despite that.

As for Helga and Arnold--show creator Craig Bartlett confirmed they are “made for each other” and wind up married with three kids, so I’m guessing Helga grew out of some of these bad habits? Or at least I hope so...

8) Helper/Humanitarian tendencies

As mentioned before, the plot of Hey Arnold! is more or less about Arnold helping people. As stated by Gerald in The Jungle Movie, “He’s a humanitarian! Like his parents!” Of course not every episode is about Arnold helping people. There are episodes devoted to supporting characters and they’re just as enjoyable and satisfying.

But as he is the titular character he spends a lot of time in the spotlight.

Remember that “best christmas special EVER” episode I mentioned before?

The reason it’s the best special, in my less than humble opinion, is due to a few things.

The special is not about Santa Claws. In fact, I don’t think he’s even mentioned, let alone shown and treated like an actual living character.

The focus on the entire episode is again on Arnold helping someone, but he doesn’t succeed. Not really.

The one who succeeded in helping someone was Helga, who accomplished the goal Arnold had set out to do.

The episode deals with some rather dark subject matter and is actually quite heartwarming as the “perfect present” Arnold was trying to provide someone with wasn’t something you can buy in the store

It’s also one of the episodes where Helga’s love for Arnold leaves her to do good and as her love for him is a secret, she expects nothing in return. She’s just happy to help him.

Kinda similar to Mari who is, as Adrien puts it in Mayura, “Our every day Ladybug.” Her kindness and devotion to helping others is what drives her as Ladybug and Marinette. It’s what brought Ivan and Mylene together. Is the reason Nathaniel and Mark now have a comic book together. And at the end of the day, that’s the reason for her strange behavior around Adrien--she wants to help him. Even if it’s just as a “good friend.”

9) There are two main characters

Although Hey Arnold! is technically a show about Arnold, one could argue it is just as much Helga’s story.

Similarly, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir is named thusly in order to convey the fact that Adrien is just as much a main character as Marinette is.

Although I must say Hey Arnold! did a much better job of giving it’s co-character their dues. GIVE. ME. MORE. CHAT NOIR. FOCUSED. EPISODES. DAMMIT.

But, yes, in terms of screen time, Helga gets about as much as Arnold does. Her story and struggles were given just as much importance as Arnold’s and many people have even come to believe that the show is really about Helga. I’d say its about both of them.

10) Constantly bumping into each other

Granted this happens between Arnold and Helga more often than it does to the love square dorks.

But yes the two people meant to be together keep knocking into each other in their respective universes.

I forget who, but I remember reading that someone a while back theorized that this was the universe’s way of trying to push Arnold and Helga together. Kinda like the “Now kiss!” meme

Perhaps it’s the same for Adrien and Marinette?

;)

#long post #adriennette #shortaki #hey arnold #miraculous ladybug #love square #nicktoons #zag toons

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piabu · 3 years

Text

BAKUGO KKATSUKI (x blind reader)

Getting into UA and becoming a hero, is every young kids dream. And for some its more realistic than it is for others. You always thought that your chance was slim, but when the letter came saying you got in to class 1-B, you were more than estatic. When it comes to stealth and combat your quirk comes in extremely handy. Using echo-location you can "see" many things others can't. Your ears are more sensitive to movement and noise, giving you an advantage, even though you are blind.

Being blind you had to have an aid in classes with you to be your eyes during lessons, but during training, you quirk was better than haveing 20/20 vision. UA was very accomotading to you and your aid. And for the most part everyone was nice. Monoma wasn't your biggest fan and often got on your nerves however.

Today as you entered the school someone bumped into you. You figured it was just Monoma picking on you again tho.

"Hey, watch it extra." the person grumbled. Not Mo.. The voice is somewhat familiar though.

"My appologies." You bowed facing what you thought was the boy. He stood beside you and clicked his tounge.

"Whatever." You heard footsteps and figured he was leaving. Quickly you activated your quirk to see his retreating form and some other students in the hall. His hair was spikey and his shoulders were slightly hunched. You tilted your head studying him.

A hand on your shoulder startled you. You turned your head in the direction of the hand. "Oh hey Erushī." you greeted your aid. "Did you happen to see who I bumped into?"

"Oh yeah, the angry blonde boy. Thats Bakugo Katsuki from class 1-A." Erushī explains. You think back to the some of the "horror stories" you have heard of the explosive teen.

"I see." You laugh at the irony of your statement. "What color is his hair?" Eru links her arm through yours.

"Blonde. Why?"

"Just forming a mental image." You shrug as the two of you enter the classroom.

(Timeskip to lunch)

Erushī walks you to the lunchroom and you sit with your usual table group. You think back to your encounter this morning and use your quirk to scan the lunchroom for Bakugo. You see his figure sitting at a table with some other students you assume are from his class.

"Earth to y/n!" Kendo says as she taps your shoulder. "You okay there?"

"Oh yeah. I'm fine." You flash a small smile to your friends, and close your eyes losing yourself in your mental images. They continue their conversation as you eat.

----

"Hey Bakubro!" Kirishima greets him, and scoots over for his friend to sit down. "You've been quiet today."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!"

"Ah, theres the Bakugo we know." the redhead jokes.

Bakugo rolls his eyes and lifts his head to see you enter the cafeteria and sit at a table with you classmates. Mina notices him staring and follows his gaze.

"Her name is F/n L/n/." Pretty right! She is in class 1-B."

"Shut up Pinky. I didnt fucking ask." The blonde grumbles and focuses on his food. Mina shrugs.

"I saw you looking, and thought you might wanna know."

"Well you thought wrong." He snaps. A smile creeps onto The pink girl's face and she winks at Kirishima, then guestures to Baku with a nod of her head.

Kiri gets the hint and his eye widen. Sero and Kaminari look between the three of them in confusion. Sero shrugs giving Kami a confused look. And the yellow head returns the look.

"Anyways, so aparently we are training with class 1-B after lunch." Sero says, breaking the silence that befell upon the group.

"Really! Cool!" Mina pipes up.

Katsuki steals a quick glance at you before getting sucked into the conversation by his friends.

(Time skip to sparring)

"Students will be paired up with someone not from their class to train with. Is that understtod?" Eraserhead explains the rest of the rules for training and Mic announces the partners. You were up against a girl named Hagakure. Her quirk was invisibility. You smiled at the perfection of the situation. Someone who is invisible to most, is not to you. You raise your hand.

"Yes y/n?" Aizawa calls on you.

"Could I perhaps have another partner. Hagakure's quirk is invisibility, but I can see her clear as day." you explain. A few heads turn as not many of the A students know of your quirk, but the hero agrees and pairs you up with Bakugo, and giving his partner to the invisible girl.

You all go get changed into your costumes and meet on the training grounds and get ready to spar. Your costume is quite simple. A pair of black leggings with thigh holsters for a few blades to fit. Your (color) top is cropped, sleveless and skin-tight. The lack of sleves allows for straps on your biceps to hold throwing stars. The outfit is pulled together with combat boots and a black blindfold over your eyes for dramtic effect.

"Whats with the blindfold extra? DO YOU UNDERESTAMATE MY POWER THAT MUCH?" Sparks fly from katsuki's palms as he accuses you.

"No, sorry. Its part of my costume. I dont doubt your abilities, Actually I admire how strong you are." You beam at the blonde. A blush tints his cheeks and he is thankful for the bindfld covering your eyes. "Shall we start?" you ask.

He grumbles a response and the two of you fly into action. You immediately activate your quirk and see his figure and take in his costume. Gauntlets. Avoid his hands at all costs. Katsuki moves to launch a blast your way and you move to the side, dodging it effectively. You use this advantage to get closer and land a punch to his shoulder. He spins on you and his elbow makes contact with your stomach. You cough as the wind is knocked out of you and quickly regain your composure. The thing with Bakugo is that he is a loud fighter. So you really wouldn't need your quirk much to fight him anyways. You see, or rather hear, his attacks before they happen.

"Why do you keep dodging? STOP HOLDING BACK DAMNIT!" You laugh quietly and take your blindfold off, wrapping it around your hand.

You decide to humor him and give in to his request. Katsuki is able to land a few hits on you, but for the most part he just tries to avoid your blades. Baku jumps and a blast comes your way and you duck down and slip under and between his legs. You unwravel the blindfold and wrap it around one of his ankles slamming him down onto the ground. You tie it around his other leg, imobilising him on his stomach.

Bakugo puts his palms on either side of him but you grab them and pin them behind his back with one hand, the other holding a blade to his wrists.

"Congratulations y/n." Present Mic says to you. You nod and get off your partner untieing him.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN USE YOUR QUIRK! I TOLD YOU NOT TO HOLD BACK!" Katsuki explodes and his hand grabs your throat. His palms are warm and you can feel the slight sting of a burn.

"Y/N!" Erushī yells as she rushes up to you. Bakugo lets you go.

"Who the fuck are you?" he snarls.

"I am her AID." Eru says firmly. "L/n is blind." You cough and rub your throat and the two of them look at you.

"Im fine Erushī. And yes Bakugo, i did use my quirk. I may be blind, in a literal sense, but I can still see." He looks at you blankly, then to the girl beside you.

"My quirk is echo-location. I use sounds to see, and you my friend are very loud." You laugh and link arms with your aid. "Good fight." You bow and walk back to the changerooms.

----

'She is blind. That explains why she bowed in the wrong direction this morning, and the blindfold.' Katsuki thinks to himself. 'So she doesn't know what I look like. She probably doesn't even know what she looks like. She can't see facial expressions.'

Part of Bakugo was saddened by that. You were quite a good looking girl. But you would never know it. His thoughts drift to all the things you can and can't do. No wonder the other girl was always with you.

Kirishima clapped Bakugo on the back, pulling him from his thoughts. "Hey bro. How was it?"

Bakugo rolls his eyes and lets out an annoyed "tch," remembering that you pinned him. He shrugs Kiri away and heads to change.

"You should ask her out." the readhead says nonchelantly.

"That's none of your buisness Shitty Hair."

(Time skip)

You sat at home listening to music, when your phone buzzed.

"You have a text from and unknown number: Oi its Bakugo, I got your number from your friend." The automated voice on your phone read the text out loud.

"Text back: Hello there. Smiley face." you say to your phone. "Please name the contact Bakugo."

"Incoming call from: Bakugo." You press on the screen to answer the call and hold it to your ear.

"Hello."

"Hi, meet me at the park near the school." Wow he is forward.

"Uhh.. sure i guess."

"10 minutes."

The line goes dead before you can respond and you turn your phone off. That might have been the shortest call ever. You go downstairs and ask your parent to drop you off. 10 minutes later you are sitting on a swing waiting for Bakugo.

"Can you see me?" Bakugo's voice startles you slightly.

"Sort of. I can see the outline of your figure. You have spikey hair." You say. He hums in agreement. You see/hear him move closer and he takes your hand in his, they are surpizingly soft.

"Can you see yourself?" he asks somewhat quieter.

"No, only from what i can feel.." You face him and your empty eyes stare at him.

"Your eyes are (e/c)." he says. "And your hair is (h/c). Your cheeks are pink."

"I know all that. Ive been told." You laugh dryly. "Can we sit on the grass?" Bakugo hums, and brings you out of the sand. He sits down and you sit next to him, bodies touching.

"Why do you keep your eyes open if you cant see?" he asks.

"I guess just to seem a little more normal. Does it bother you?" you explain.

"No. I like your eyes." You smile to yourself. The boy beside you is completly different from the one you were sparring with at school, and yet its the same person.

"I like this soft side of you Bakugo." you say.

'Its only for you.' he thinks. You feel his hand drop yours and move to your cheek. He turns your head to face him.

"Can you see me?" he asks again. You nod your head. His facial features are more visible to you but still fuzzy.

"What color are your eyes?" you ask.

"Red."

"May I touch you?" He doesnt answer, so you clarify. "Your face i mean."

"Yes."

Your hands come up to his cheeks and you take in all his facial features with your hands. Touching people allows you to have a better sense of what the person looks like and you add this to your mental image of the boy.

Katsuki grabs your wrists stilling your movements and brings your hands back down to your lap.

"Now i can see you." you say.

He stares at you for a brief moment and closes your eyes gently. His hand rests back on your cheek.

"Good." is all he says before his lips are on yours.

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danicarosaline · 4 years

Text

Just My Type | JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader | Ch. 2

Summary: You may perhaps have this tiny attraction to a certain flirty pogue that works for your step dad. All the while your mother is trying to set you up with boys who she thinks are your type.

Warnings: cringe af & a slow a$$ burn and not proof read!! 💖🤩

Authors Note: thank you to those who are interested in this! This chapter is a long one but I don’t think ill be keeping the rest of the chapters that long? But who knows tbh. Hope you enjoy this one💛

After spending the entire afternoon with Kie doing the absolute most by snacking on the pancakes you managed to cook successfully, braiding each other’s hair and asking about her love life since she recently came out to you as queer when you caught her checking out a few tourists that passed you both when y’all went out shopping few weeks back.

See, you kind of knew this about Kiara. You kind of thought she had a little crush on Sarah Cameron when you both were friends with her back then but never had the actually guts to question her about it. You weren’t sure if Kie even knew about that part of herself yet, so you waited a couple years more to finally ask her about it when you were very sure.

What you weren’t expecting though, was to ask her about it in such a blunt way, especially in the middle of the mall where a few bystanders where nearby who glanced your way at such a question. You didn’t mean to to be so forward, but it just came out out of suspicion and all those times you held back from asking Kie.

Luckily for you, she didn’t pay no mind to the eavesdroppers around and answered your question confidently with a huge smile on her pretty face. Already having used to you being so straightforward and upfront about everything.

She loves that about you.

You both sadly decided to call it a day but not before her inviting you to a kegger the pogues were throwing this weekend. To say you were beyond excited for your first party is an understatement and to finally be meeting those boys Kie never shuts up about.

Wanting to dress to impress, you already plan out your outfit for that night. Not because you’re indecisive and take hours to get ready of course. (It’s definitely that reason though)

The weekend finally arrives and you’re just about done getting ready for the kegger tonight. You were dressed in a cute short summer dress paired with some white low top converses and went to double check your natural glam’d up face in the vanity mirror incase of needing to reapply lipgloss.

After readjusting the natural strip lashes that you had on, your phone began to buzz. Signaling a text from no other than the beautiful brunette herself.

Kiekie🌺: hi bby im out the front xx

You: coming babes😍

Kiekie🌺: dont forget the vodka!! 🥵

You: already in the bag babygorl😏

Kiekie🌺: dont call me that pls its cringe )):

Snickering at her reply, you quickly throw in some extra stuff in your bag incase of emergencies (never knowing when you need to reapply gloss again) and made your way downstairs. Passing your parents in the dining room, you wave goodbye and blow kisses at them quickly to avoid conversation but just your luck they stop you before you made it to the door.

“Y/n your dress is too short!” Your mother declares as she eyes up your outfit whilst your step father agrees with a nod of his head and furrowed eyebrows.

“You are outgrowing that dress Y/n” the man adds with a shake of his head as he sets his eyes back down to the iPad in front of him.

“Oh stop it you two It still fits perfectly fine and you both know its my favourite, anyways bye bye love yous!! ” you wave again and rush out the front door before they can say anything else.

“Wha- wait just a minute young lady!” Your mother beckons but its too late you’re inside Kiara’s car, fastening your seatbelt as you both laugh at hearing your mother’s loud voice from inside the house.

—————————————————————

The party was in full swing when you both arrived.

Kooks, pogues and tourons all mashed up together in one beach as if there were no social classes between the three divided groups. Guess alcohol really does change the way people mingle when consumed.

Looking around, you recognise a few kids that go to your school swaying to the RnB music and drinking away like they have no care in the world and starting to actually get nervous when you spot familiar classmates you used to call your friends. Feeling anxious, you kinda wanna go home now.

Your thoughts were interrupted to Kie linking your arms together, “lets go meet the pogues!” Eyes twinkling at the thought of her bestfriend finally getting to meet her other bestfriends. With that said, you let her practically drag you off to where she knows they’ll be. A grin making its way on your face, forgetting ever wanting to go home just seconds before.

She introduces you to John B first, since he was the only one there serving out drinks to the tourons. He swats away at your hand when you reach out to give a handshake. Instead, the curly brunet embraces you in a tight bear hug, suffocating you with his built figure. Saying something about not needing to be so formal with him, already having to get to know you from Kie and also not forgetting to throw a compliment at your choice of outfit.

Moments later, a dark skinned male makes his appearance known by accidentally tripping over a log in front of you, mumbling out curses to himself. While the others burst out in tears from laughing you only giggle a little in hopes not to embarrass him more, helping the poor boy up to his feet and asking if he’s okay.

When he sets his brown eyes on you, he recognises you immediately as the daughter of one of the nice kooks he makes deliveries for and starts stuttering out apologies as if he offended you. You snort at this boy’s weird behaviour and reassure him that theres no need to apologise to you.

John B tells the boy your name and his eyes lit up, “Ive made plently of deliveries to your house! Who would of thought you’d be the famous Y/n Kie always mentions? Im Pope by the way” embracing you in gentle hug.

You’ve spent almost an hour with the trio and you have yet to meet the other boy because you swore there was three of them from all the stories Kie has told you.

“Wasn’t there three of you?” Moving your manicured finger to the two handsome boys infront of you. They smile at you and gave a little nod.

“Oh yeah! he’s-“

“YO POPE, JOHN B! Check this shit out man!”

A loud booming voice roars from behind you making you jump slightly. Swiveling around from where you stood, you are faced with a beaming tall blond. Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes only focused at the boy infront of you.

His attention is fixed on the two males behind you, beckoning them to come over to where he was.

There he stood, watching two young tourons brawling. Finding it absolutely hilarious because from where you are, you can clearly see that they are doing a terrible job at throwing each other down on the sand.

John B and Pope darted to the blond with Kie in tow, linking your arms through yours as she drags you to the scene.

The tourons are are stupidly wrestling on the ground now, making you and Kie cringe at the second hand embarressment. Though you both find it kinda funny.

“Alright alright break it up squirts” the blond demands as he pulls one kid off the other, with John B helping the other kid up off the sand.

“Ill freaking kill you Seb!”

“Hey- hey! Take a walk man” John B forces the kid back when he tried to come at the other kid, making the blond laugh again.

“Its not a kegger if theres not atleast one fight happenin” Pope turns to you and Kie with his hands placed on his hips, making Kie chuckle with a shake of her head at the comment.

“So does this always happen at your keggers?” You ask with amusement lacing your question.

“Sure does princess” you all face the voice, the blond appearing to your rights. You feel your face instantly heat up at the sight of him smirking down at you like he usually does whenever he catches you staring. Biting your bottom lip to supress a giggle at the nickname he gave you.

“So Y/n this here is-“

As Kie was about to reveal the name of the cute blond that was peering at you, John B whoops loudly jogging back to the group and unknowingly interrupting her with his loud laughter.

“Touron fights are officially my favourite thing!” The brunet hollers, making the group crack up laughing. Something y’all have been doing alot this entire night as it seems.

You’re gonna fit in just fine.

————————————————————

When the kegger starts to lessen with people, you decide to help Kie pick up some of the red solo cups discarded all around the beach. Picking up only what you can whilst tipsy.

You’re not much of a drinker yourself to be honest. Only because your parents never gave you a taste, being underage and all. Only sneaking in a few drinks from Kie at sleepovers here and there so your not technically alien to the idea of drinking overall.

And yes you’re definitely a lightweight.

After picking up a couple more cups and other trash, throwing them in a black plastic trash bag, you and Kiara head up at the “Chateau” which you now know was John B’s place.

Once arrived, Kie sets up the pull out couch and lays down, completely exhausted from all the dancing and drinking she did with you. You and the boys following her actions. With Pope laying down next to Kie and you, John B and the blond sat on the bed facing the two laying down. Finding it amusing that Pope passed out already.

John B letting out a yawn as he gets up from his seating position on the couch, not before saying bye to you and kissing your head goodnight.

The interaction doesn’t suprise you since Kie has warned you about how affectionate these boys can be but it still caused your cheeks to heat up anyways.

“Want me to take you home?”

Tearing your attention away from John B drunkily making his way to his room, your e/c falls on the blond infront of you, crossed legged with his hands resting behind him to keep him upright in the sitting position. You glance down at Kie and Pope, both have passed out peacefully.

“Oh no don’t worry about it, i can just get an uber” you whisper to the cute blond as you get up from the couch and start making your way to the door.

He doesn’t take no for an answer and starts following you out, not before grabbing the keys to John B’s beaten up van. Rolling your eyes but not helping the smile you throw his way at his kindness.

The drive wasn’t silent or awkward at all. The both of you getting along quite well, talking about anything and everything that comes to mind. Him throwing compliments your way here and there that leaves you a stuttering mess.

He loves how shy you are to his flirtation. The girls he’s hit on has always been just as flirty with him but they’ve never shyed away like you have.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves confidence in a woman and never have he thought he’d find it adorable for a girl to be this nervous around him but here you are. Being completely submissive.

You emit pure innocence. Which makes him want to be protective of you.

Finally pulling up into your driveway, you search your house windows for any signs of anyone being awake inside. Noticing no lights or movement in your house, you turn to face the blond who was already looking at you.

Your heart rate starts to pick up as you stare right back into those baby blues, the lights on the edge of the road acts as a spot light on the handsome blond, focusing on all his musculine features. Skin glowing so luminously.

He’s so handsome.

“What?”

“What??”

OH NO DID YOU SAY THAT OUT LOUD!? YOU STUPID BIT-

“Did you just call me handsome?” He leans over, and smiles at you cheekily, that tiny dimple playing at the corner of his mouth.

Play dumb.

“What no??” He chuckles boyishly at your response and pushes back pieces of hair that managed to fall on his forehead, not breaking eye contact with you once.

“Well to be fair. You’re pretty gorgeous to look at too L/n, a pure sight for sore eyes” He moves closer as he runs a knuckle down your forearm and sends you a wink. Your heart is beating out of your chest now and you’re convinced he could hear it.

Not necessarily knowing how to respond to the blond, you shove him away gently and cup your heated cheeks. Shying away once again.

He lets out a cute laugh which you found so angelic coming from someone who is by far a comparison to one after having heard of all the crazy shit this boy has done in the past.

though, he’s physically otherworldly.

“Im just teasing ya” he voiced as he messes up your hair by ruffling through them with his ring clad fingers. You giggle at this with a shake of your head, you open the car door and walk out. With him following behind you.

“So you’ll be hanging out with us more often right?” He asks almost seeming nervous when he shoves his hands down his pocket.

“When i get invited out then yes, i guess so” you face him, swaying back and forth on your heels as you both stop at the front door of your house.

“Oh trust me, you will be. We all had a great time with you tonight” he replies with a lick of his lips, eyeing you up and down.

Don’t fucking test me, i will kiss you right here, right now.

“I did too” you whisper, placing a piece of hair behind your ear.

There was an awkward silence. None of you not knowing what to say for the first time during the entire night. He scratches the back of his head, wishing you a goodnight- well technically a goodmorning whilst slowly walking backwards to the van. Still maintaining eye contact as if he didn’t wanna tear his eyes away from you anytime soon.

“See you soon?”

“See you soon princess”

Warmth spreading across your chest to hearing that nickname again. You wave and turn away from the handsome blond but pausing in your tracks as you come to remember something important.

“Wait!!” The boy halts in his tracks at your sudden outburst.

Feeling the heat decorating your face again from embarressment, you finally ask “what’s your name?”

He’s chuckling at the realisation that nobody, not even himself has told you his name. He’s known about you for months, he’s heard your name be called the very first time he first laid eyes on you. You’ve been pinning on him for months. Not once have you heard his name be called out loud by anyone else. You were always too shy to ask anybody for his name, which was quite dumb, really.

“The name’s JJ Maybank princess, its a pleasure to make your acquaintance”

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themusicplayedherlife · 4 years

Text

Some Sugar

Part 4: I Need Something Fake

pairing: sugar daddy!steve rogers x reader characters: reader, steve rogers, others word count: 5k+ warnings: angst, fluff summary: things are looking up and you’re flying high a/n: ive broken i need something fake//it’s just manners to pretend into two parts after last chapters mishap. it was starting to get unnecessarily long lol

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Your mom is finally home.

She still has to go back to the hospital for a final check of her arm and the chemotherapy treatments she has left, but you can finally breathe with relief that she’s home.

Esmeralda seems to be more at ease now that she’s back, too, less reluctant to stay at home while you’re at work. Not that she had to worry about that anymore. With what you’re getting from Steve, you’ve been going back and forth with the idea of turning in your two weeks notice at the restaurant or cutting back your hours at least. But you still can’t completely decide. Selena says you should quit, and you haven’t been able to get Steve's input with him currently being away on a mission. But you have a feeling you know what his answer is going to be.

“You cleaned,” she says softly and you smile.

You shrug. “I did what I could.”

Esmeralda throws a pillow in your direction and you dodge out of the way, laughter bubbling from your chest. “I helped too!”

“Did you?” you tease, passing by her with a ruffle of her hair. “If I remember correctly, you were just throwing shit at me instead of cleaning.”

“I was not!” she shoots back, curling herself into your mom’s good side, legs over her lap and her arms around her shoulder and stomach. “I really wasn’t, mom.” She really is the baby of the family.

Before your mom or you can say anything, a loud banging from your neighbor causes you to jump. It’s soon followed by muffled yelling from Mr and Mrs Pallomari, the two trying to outmatch one another’s voices—nothing new.

Your sister sighs heavily and your mom shakes her head. A loud, “Fuck you!” resounds through the hallway and into your apartment as the door is slammed hard enough to shake the walls.

“Straight couples,” Esmeralda says in a serious tone with a deadpan expression she throws in your direction as if she were in the Office, after a moment of silence she breaks it with a giggle and you and your mom can’t help but laugh with her.

However, your laughter is cut short when there’s a bang on your door, the hinge making a horrible screech as if ready to fall over followed by a loud, “Fuck everyone!”

Esmeralda sighs and stands up, moving towards your tool box. “I’ll check the door.”

You send her a gracious smile tinged with nervousness. “And I’ll get started on dinner.”

You can’t sleep, body jerking awake with every sound you hear coming from the main hallway. Any little or loud sound could be Mr. Pallomari ready to fight with his wife and drag all of you into it, as he usually does. Their fighting hasn’t escalated in a while, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t again.

It’s exhausting having to deal with them and all the shitty people that live in the building.

Not much you can do about that except move out. Maybe eventually you’ll have enough to do so. It’s plausible, but you don’t want to splurge, not yet anyway. Not until you’re more secure.

And besides, not everyone in this building is like them.

There’s Doña Garcia and her son Benito, who live across the hall from you. Sweet woman. And her son? A college student that your sister looks up to, having found a kindred spirit in him when she started questioning her sexuality. Both of them check in on your family whenever they have the chance, dropping off food when Doña Garcia cooks too much (but you have suspicions that she actually does it on purpose).

Then there’s Mayra, the sex worker who lives a floor below you, along with her five year old daughter, who you’ve fondly dubbed Juju; and her grandmother Marsha, who loves to gossip with Doña Garcia and your mother. You used to babysit Juju when you had the time, but now it’s Esmeralda who offers her assistance when she has the chance, which is rare since Marsha loves taking care of her granddaughter, but sometimes the older woman needs a break too.

Because of them, because there are good people, you’re not in any hurry to move out, but maybe you should start keeping your options open, especially if you’re lying awake late at night in fear of your neighbor and his tantrums.

You sigh, throwing your arm over your eyes, the faint sounds of people yelling out in the streets and sirens wailing filtering in through the closed windows. Should you make yourself a cup of tea? No. The pot makes a lot of noise and you don’t want to risk waking your sister up.

You reach for your phone resting on the coffee table and quickly unlock it to scroll through your Instagram feed. You would text Steve or Selena, but you’re afraid of messaging him in fear of getting him in trouble or waking up Selena, who is guaranteed to be asleep by now. For now, you settle on liking pictures from old classmates you no longer keep in contact with.

So many old faces getting married or having kids, graduating and getting their masters, or just having the time of their lives.

It’s amazing how easy it is to lose contact with people who were once your friends. Everyone got so busy, including you, to make ends meet that you were no longer able to keep up with one another. You wonder what life would’ve been like if you didn’t live like this, if you had actually finished school—would you be in grad school? Married maybe? Thinking about kids?

Fuck. This is why you usually stay away from Instagram. You hate yourself for ever allowing yourself to think “what if?” when all you can do is work towards a better future, not a different past.

Your breath stutters and just as you’re about to place your phone back down after liking another picture of someone partying, it comes to life with Steve’s name. With your heart racing, you quickly answer.

“Steve! You’re back!”

He’s quiet for a moment and you suck in your bottom lip. “I’m back,” he finally says, soft and followed by a chuckle. “What are you doing up, sweetheart?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Did something happen?” He asks, worry ringing in his voice.

You stare up at your ceiling, not sure how to tell him about your neighbor. But it’s not important, and you’re most likely being paranoid anyway. “Not really, I just—mom is home and I've been kicked out to the living room. The couch isn’t very comfortable.”

There’s rustling on his end and you wonder if he’s getting ready for the night. “That’s great! Not you having to sleep on the couch, but your mom being home. How is she doing?”

“Fine. I think. Tired, but that’s nothing new.” He hums and you readjust yourself, pressing your back against the length of the couch's backrest as you turn on your side. “How was your mission?”

“Tiring,” he admits immediately, letting out a sigh—and he definitely sounds it. Frustrated too if that grunt he lets out absentmindedly as he moves around is of any indication. “Recon was a bust. Complete waste of time.”

“Is it okay for you to be telling me this?”

He chuckles at your haste words and heat crawls up your neck. “Can’t give you details, but yeah, yeah I can. I want to.”

Your grip on your phone laxes, and you hadn’t even realized how tightly you were holding it. “Okay, then vent away.” You wonder if he can hear the smile in your voice.

“I wasn’t expecting you to answer.” He pauses. “At best, I thought I’d hear your voice through your voicemail and that would’ve been enough for me. But being able to talk to you right now… it makes me forget how stressful this mission has been.”

A soft kind of heat envelops you, taking hold of your heart with every sincere word he speaks. “Steve…”

“So, there isn’t any need to vent about. Really,” he adds softly.

You cover your chin with your blanket as if to hide your ever growing smile from him, dumb really. Not as if he could see you right now. “I get it.” And you do. You really do. “I think… I think I’ll be able to fall asleep now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The conversation lulls, his relaxed breathing filtering through the phone. And you can almost picture him sitting on the arm chair, head against the backrest, eyes closed as he breathes through his nose. Even when you close your eyes, you can feel his presence next to you.

Is this what it feels like to have someone to rely on? Someone who makes you feel safe and protected?

But your relaxation is short lived—loud noises and a male yelling fills the hallway, causing you to let out a gasp and to jerk up. On the other end of the line you hear Steve slur, asking you if you’re okay, but the noise drowns him out and a loud bang on your door causes you to drop your phone and to stand.

“Sis?” Esmeralda’s alarmed voice reaches your ears, and you quickly spare her a glance over your shoulder as she comes closer.

“It’s fine, Esme, go back to bed.”

“But—“

Another bang and the door makes a loud creaking sound. “Open the door, you dumb bitch!”

Your heart tightens at Esmeralda’s wide eyes, fear slipping into them as they drift between you and the door. “Esme! Go back to bed, please. I’ll handle it!”

“He’s going to break the door!”

Before you can yell at her again, your door is thrown open and Mr. Pallomari stands in front of you, ragged and a complete mess. His eyes hazy and misted over—drunk.

Fuck.

“Where is she?” He demands, face blotchy as he staggers forward.

You quickly stand in front of Esme, pushing her behind you, ignoring the way your heart races and breath picks up. “You have the wrong apartment, Mr. Pallomari! Your wife is not here.”

“Don’t lie to me!”

You need to get Esmeralda away from here. “Mr. Pallomari—“

“Where’s my wife?! Where is that bitch?!”

You push Esme further back and bend your neck to talk to her, doing your best to keep the drunk man in your peripherals, “Go. Call the police.”

“But—“

For fucksakes! Why doesn’t she ever listen to you? “Esme—“

“I’m going to kill her when I find her!”

It all happens so quickly that it almost feels like you’re dreaming—Esme lets out a loud shout and you turn just in time to watch Mr. Pallomari surge forward, his hands reaching for you. There isn’t enough time for you to push Esmeralda and yourself out of the way, not with your feet rooted to the ground—and before he can even grab an inch of you, his round body is tackled to the ground by a smaller, thin body.

“Benito?”

Benito has him by the arms, face pressed down to the ground, but he’s struggling to keep the older man's pudgy body down with his petite frame. It’s the concerned call of your name by Esme’s small voice that has you moving, dropping down to your knees and keeping a part of your weight on the buckling, drunk man to keep him down.

“Ay, dios mio!” Doña Garcia exclaims and Benito lets out a frustrated huff as he asks his mother to call the police just as you do the same with your sister.

“Thank you, officer.”

She nods and moves away from you to walk over to her partner as he pushes Mr. Pallomari into the back of the cop car.

“Good for Alicia for finally leaving her good for nothing husband,” Esme says, leveling a glare in the direction of the cop car flashing red and blue. “Poor woman needed a break.”

You crack a tired smile and wrap an arm around Esme, who leans into you. “She sure did. You okay, Bennie?”

Benito looks up from his phone, most likely texting his boyfriend about what transpired tonight, and nods. “Fine. A little sore,” he says as he circles his arm and holds his shoulder. “But I’ll live. What about you?”

“Rug burn—“ you kick your leg out to show off the wicked pattern on your knee from where you practically slid to help Benito—“but I’ll live too.”

He snorts. “I’m going to check up on our moms.”

You nod as Esme pulls away and she looks up at you. “I’ll go with him and get started on the door.”

“Okay, I’ll be up in a minute.”

She squeezes your hand and follows after Benito, looking back at you once before disappearing behind the heavy metal door leading into the building.

Sighing, you cross your arms over your chest, gripping your forearms tightly as you watch the cops fill out some paperwork; Mr. Pallomari in the backseat with his eyes closed and teetering between the space of a drunken haze and sleep. Will he regret his decisions tomorrow? Or will he act like nothing happened?

Frowning, you’re not sure which one you’d like better.

You knew of people like Mr. Pallomari, regretting it for one night and then going back to the same old bullshit, pretending as if nothing ever happened.

That kind of person isn’t safe to live with or be around, and—you hate thinking it, but—you’re not sure if all the good people you live around is enough to keep you rooted here anymore.

A frantic call of your name causes you to jump in your skin, hands falling to your side as your eyes widen when you spot Steve jogging in your direction with only a cap to conceal his identity.

“Steve?”

You don’t get the chance to meet him halfway because he closes the distances between you two in record time, engulfing you in his strong, sweaty arms. His chest heaves under your ear and you stand there dumbfounded, not returning his hug.

How?

He pulls away from you to check you over, hands on your shoulder as his eyes rake up and down your tired form. For a moment relief fills his eyes but then they sharpen at the sight of your forearms—crescent shapes digging into your skin. “What the—”

“I did it,” you hastily mumble, returning your arms to where they were before, easily slipping your nails into the shapes they left behind. “Bad habit.” He sighs softly and removes your hands from your forearms, gently rubbing at the spots with his thumbs, and you relax at the touch. “What are—what are you doing here?”

“I got worried,” he says, lowering his head as if to get a better view of your eyes under the bill of his hat. “I heard the yelling and—“ Shit!

You tightly clench your eyes and hang your head, berating yourself for allowing him to worry. “I’m so sorry! I completely forgot to call you back!”

He breathes in and smiles lopsidedly as you meet his gaze, warily and sheepishly. “It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re okay.” His warmth leaves your arms, gaze moving from you to the cop car. A frown replaces his smile as he glares in that direction. “Is he—“

There’s a bubbling in your stomach, breath catching in your throat and a deep fear beginning to surface as Steve takes a step away from you. Without thinking, without realizing it, you’ve latched onto the hem of his grey v-neck, immobilizing him completely as he turns to look at you. “Don’t leave. Please.”

You can’t meet his gaze, you try; lifting it, but immediately hanging your head once more when they come to a stop at his chin. “Please.”

His chest rises and falls deeply. “Hey,” he starts softly, his warm, heavy hands falling onto your shoulder and pulling you into him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

You press your face against his chest and quiet down the sob that escapes your lips.

“I’m right here,” he repeats softly, an arm wrapping around your back and the other slipping behind your neck, pressing you closer to him—and god you’ve never felt more thankful to have someone like him in your life. Someone who can hold you and look after you. “You did so good, baby. You were so brave. ‘M so proud of you,” he whispers into your hair, and you sniffle in response. “It’s okay to let it all out now. I’m right here for you.”

Your hold on his shirt tightens and you breathe him in, the smell of sandalwood, detergent and clean clothes filling your senses. “I just need a minute,” you mumble.

Something soft pressed against your head—a kiss, a soft kiss. “Take all the time you need.”

Frustration is all you can feel as you walk around Queens looking for an affordable, vacant apartment.

Esmeralda follows behind you dutifully, hands shoved into her pockets and barely holding back a grimace. Maybe you should’ve asked her to stay home, invite over Peter and the others to distract her.

You both had tried fixing the door, changed the hinges, but the actual door? With another attack, the chance of the door breaking in half is highly likely. Your landlord doesn’t exactly use thick, sturdy doors, preferring the thinner less reliable models because it’s more cost efficient. And you’d think because it was cheaper, he’d get off his ass and replace the damn door, but getting him to do anything is like trying to tame a bull. And you can’t even buy the damn door yourself because then your stupid landlord will throw a fit and try to kick you out for fixing his damn apartment!

When you brought up the prospect of moving, Esmeralda had jumped at the chance, agreeing that there had to be someplace in Queens you can afford! Your mom was more reluctant, and unsure, but after a wave of optimism from Esmeralda, she had relented.

And that’s how you and Esmeralda find yourselves outside of another building with high rent. What was this? The tenth place you couldn’t afford? Another place that wasn’t even sure running your credit was worth it?

“Why is everything so expensive?” She finally breaks her silence and you pause in your steps to look at her.

“Hey, we just gotta keep looking. I’m sure there’s a place out there that we can afford.”

“Yeah,” she says with a snort. “With the same shit heads we’re already surrounded by.”

You can’t bring yourself to scold her. You’ve had those thoughts, too, but you’ve always caught yourself before your thoughts could get worse. Because it isn’t fair, not to the people who have been nothing but good and kind to you, and not to your mother who has tried her best to give you everything she could. “Esme,” you start slowly and she grimaces.

“I—I didn’t mean it like that. I meant—I’m just tired.”

“I know, baby.” You approach her slowly, like one would with a small, frightened kitty, and take her hand in yours. ”Let's call it quits today and go home. We can stop by a bodega and get ingredients for those chicken enchiladas you love so much?”

“With queso fresco?” she shyly asks, her earlier frustration melting and showcasing that joyful youth that is rare to see in her.

“With queso fresco,” you promise, the two of you walking with your hands laced together like when you were children walking home from school.

The three of you stuff yourselves until you can’t eat anymore and even make sure to feed Doña Garcia and Benito as a thank you.

When you pack yourself a lunch for your break, your sister whines that you’re stealing her leftovers, but you only stick out your tongue and place it into your bag—all the while hoping Steve will like it.

The bar is alive with soft chatter and noise; Cassandra is behind the bar with a coworker and new hire you’ve been helping train. You clocked out five minutes ago, but you find yourself occupying the booth in the dark corner, watching Steve as he takes a forkful of the enchiladas you made earlier with Esme straight out of the Tupperware.

His mouth closes around the fork and his eyes close, letting out a sinful moan as he slowly pulls the fork out of his mouth and chews.

“Good?” you ask when his eyes flutter open to reveal brilliant blue eyes.

“So good,” he affirms. “Really good.” His lips form into a teasing smirk. “You sure you made these, sweetheart?”

“Hey!” Reaching over the table, you smack his arm with a pout and he bubbles in laughter. “Gimme that, you don’t deserve the rest of these—“

With the quickest reflexes you’ve ever seen, Steve pulls the plastic container away from your reach and beside his being where you can’t grab it unless you round the table. “It was a joke, sweetheart. Promise.”

You let out a mock of a huff, fighting off the smile that’s trying to work it’s way to your lips. “It better be.”

He chuckles and takes another bite, moaning and humming as he goes, practically cleaning out the dish. Watching him devour the whole thing causes pride to swell in your chest.

Resting your elbow on the table, you cradle your cheek. “I probably should’ve brought you more, huh?”

“I’d probably be able to eat a whole tray of these.” You believe him.

“You’d probably have to fight Esme for it.” He laughs and you grin. “But I’ll keep that in mind.” For next time, are the unspoken words. Because there will be a next time and you’re looking forward to it. Is he?

He pauses, eyes skipping up at you and softening as they roam your face for a moment too long, your breaths stalling until he finally says: “I’d like that.”

You breathe out and smile. “Good.”

He flashes you a toothy grin. “How has the apartment hunting been?” Whatever Steve sees in your face causes him to place down the fork and reach for your unoccupied hand. “That bad?”

“Yeah,” you say with a sigh. “Rent has really skyrocketed over the years. I’ll probably have to rescind my resignation from the restaurant at this point.”

“Let me help you,” he says with a squeeze of your hand.

“Steve—“

Before you can tell him he’s done enough, he interrupts you, thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. “My job is to make your life easier, remember? If helping you find an apartment and helping pay rent does that, then I’m willing to do just that.”

You purse your lips, eyebrows drawing together as you think about it. “You really have done too much, Steve. I feel like I haven’t done enough—“

“Are you kidding me? Just knowing I have you, that I can be able to call you after a mission—all of that has done wonders for me sweetheart.” Your breath hitches at his confession and you can’t help the heart that crawls up your neck. “If it really bothers you that much, why won’t you be my date for the upcoming charity gala Pepper and Tony are hosting at the tower?”

He knows that’s part of your agreement! If he needs a date, you’ll be there. Why is he giving you more than you can give? “That’s a given, Steve.” You bite your lip. “Just promise me you won’t go over the top? Even if it’s just a one bedroom apartment in a moderately safe area, I’d be okay.”

He didn’t go over the top, but my god did he almost.

The place he found, not only is it close to May and Peter’s place, but it’s also close to your mom’s clinic. No more having to pay ridiculous prices during rush hour for an uber or cab, no more having to worry about something happening to Esme or your mom on the subways or walking home.

No more.

Your eyes scan the front of the house; it’s light blue, cute with a small patio where a lemon tree is growing, a few specks of yellow showing on the top of it and your heart drops to your stomach only to fly back up and smack itself against your rib cage—it reminds you so much of your childhood home. Your small little home with blue coated walls and yellow window panes that you and JC hated so much because it clashed with the dark blue exterior—“it gives the house personality” your parents would say.

“Steve…”

He smiles down at you, taking your hand in his and pulling you with him. “Come with me.” Pushing open the small white gate, he gently tugs you along with him up the three steps leading you to the front door. He slowly inserts the key and opens the door, and moves aside, allowing you to enter first.

Your hand never leaves his as you enter and he follows after you, not allowing his fingers to slip away from yours.

“Welcome home,” he murmurs, and you don’t have to look at him to know he’s smiling.

You stifle a sob trying to push through your throat, eyes taking in the beautiful, newly renovated home—wooden flooring, fresh painted walls, gorgeous L shaped stairs leading upstairs—and you have to blink to will the tears away. You turn to Steve and find him already looking at you, gauging your reaction, and he looks so soft and proud and happy and—and, god you want to kiss him.

So you do.

You kiss him softly, slowly, tentatively and unsure, and every other synonym of those words. He’s frozen under your touch, completely unaware of what to do, and your heart stutters. Too soon? As you begin pulling away, his hand leaves yours to wrap around your waist and tug you impossibly snug against him, his lips landing on yours for another take—one you gladly accept.

Your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him down closer to you and one of his hands cradle the back of your neck, fingers digging into your skin

He tastes so so sweet—sweet like juicy strawberries straight from their bush during a warm, Spring day.

And you don’t think you’ll ever get enough. God, why did you take so long to do this?

His forehead rests against yours and one corner of his mouth lifts into a confident, boyish smile. “I guess that means you like it?”

Laughter bubbles out of your throat and you nod. “Like it? I love it. More than you can ever know. Thank you.”

The hand on the back of your neck, smoothly cups your jaw as he lets out a sweet sigh. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

His lips dance against yours and his warmth wraps around you, and you know you’ve found something with Steve, something that you can’t quite put into words, something you don’t know if you want to put into words.

Not yet.

A couple of days later, you’re settling everything with your old landlord and moving into your new home. Your mother couldn’t believe it and neither could Esmeralda, but once you told—lied to, really—them that Selena found an old friend of hers that was renting their home because they were leaving out of state, your mother and sister accepted the keys you dangled in front of them.

May and Peter immediately offered their help; Doña Garcia and Benito did too; and so did Cassandra and a few of your coworkers from the bar. Steve tried to offer his help, too, but you waved him off, promising to let him know when you were completely moved in. He begrudgingly accepted, not like he had a choice. He was sent on another mission during that period of time. You miss him, and even though you know he couldn’t check his phone, you send a message everyday with your move-in progress.

Esmeralda throws herself onto the sofa as your mom hums in the kitchen, and you can’t help but send Steve the selfie you took with Esme and your mom when the living room was completely furnished.

A smile blooms on your face as a text bubble appears and your finger smooths over your lips, strawberry lingers on your lips and as you read his message, you want to taste him again.

You look beautiful, sweetheart—all three of you do.

Can’t wait to see that beautiful smile of yours in person soon xx

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve x reader #steve x you #steve x y/n #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #marvel imagine #reader insert #i forgot to tag before posting oops

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radiorenjun · 4 years

Text

Hug. iv

Pairing: Liu Yangyang x Reader

Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, Bullying, Attempt Suicide and mentions of self degrading, insecurities, anxiety, negative thoughts, physical injuries.

Looking from the perspective of Liu Yangyang, the boy who bullied a girl to the point she had a scar to burden both of their lives. He lived on with a heavy heart until he finally enters college and bumps into a girl with a familiar scar and the same tattoo on her wrist as his.

Chapters: iii, iv, v

Tags: @wonho-ssi @chuu4you @fullsun-haechanie @you-cant-spell-slay-without-lay @carefreebubble @uglyratlmao @harleyblaze

Yangyang walked down the halls of his school after he was finally dismissed from his class of the day. It had been a while since he came across his supposed soulmate, even then, his life didn't change much. The college life everyone was looking forward to didn't seem as interesting as Yangyang thought.

It was just like his life in high school. He saw a few of his old classmates around the halls and majoring in music didn't seem so exciting than his brother made it out to be. Speaking of his brother , he and Ten agreed that they both should start opening up more to each other just to spend more quality time.

"What?!" Ten exclaimed in the loudest voice possible. Yangyang flinched at the loud tone after confessing what's been on his mind lately. "You got into contact with Y/N L/N again?! That's great! What happened?! Did you two made up?" Ten slammed his palms on the table in excitement.

The bright smile stretched across his brothers face made the memory of his sad smile with bruised lip from back when he was still young flashed his mind. Yangyang winced at the memory before avoiding his brother's eyes.

Yangyang gulped down a chunk of egg yolk before continuing his story. "Nothing much happened, we just came across each other in the same building. And well..." Yangyang paused briefly, biting his lip anxiously as he tried not to eye the mark on his wrist.

"Well?" Ten waited for Yangyang to continue. Yangyang silently tugged on the sleeves of his baggy black hoodie down to reveal his soulmate tattoo, laying his wrist in the table. Ten's eyes darted from Yangyang's to his wrist in confusion before it all clicked.

"Holy. Fuck." Ten gasped, realizing what it meant. Yangyang shushed his brother loudly, putting a finger to his lips, making the sleeves of his hoodie fall down to hide the mark once again. "Ten, you idiot! Chenle's right down the hall!" Yangyang scolded.

"You two are soulmates?!" Ten squealed. Yangyang put his head in his palms in embarrassment, "dont remind me." he mumbled. "Thats-wow. I literally have no words, right now. So what was her reaction?" Ten asked eagerly.

"Well I- I didn't exactly tell her that. I don't think she knows. I don't want her to." Yangyang shook his head profusely, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets to clench his fists. "What? Why?" Ten whined. "Why? Why?! Oh I don't know, Ten, how would you feel if your soulmate is suddenly the kid who bullied you mercilessly back when you were 12?!" Yangyang snapped.

"Okay I get that part but this is your soulmate we're talking bout. They're supposed to love you no matter what!" Ten reasoned. "You dont understand!" Yangyang barked. "She's better off having no soulmate than having her old bully as a soulmate." Yangyang calmed down slightly.

"You don't understand, Ten. This isnt like your relationship with your soulmate. You didn't bully her when you were kids." Yangyang hissed harshly. Ten winced at the mention of his soulmate who had previously passed away.

"Dont bring her into this, Liu Yangyang." Ten snapped, glaring daggers into Yangyangs eyes. "She's your soulmate whether you both want it or not. Your her soulmate whether you feel guilty or not. When the time comes you two will eventually be together, that's how the world works. Okay, kid?" he lectured.

Yangyang felt the pain in his chest tighten. Sighing in defeat, he knew he couldn't battle with fate itself so he did nothing but nodded. "Okay." Yangyang sighed, unclenching his fists. Ten huffed grabbing his plate and walking towards the sink.

"Im sorry for bringing her into this." Yangyang muttered, he hated the thought of his family getting hurt.

"I was just-"

"It's fine. Just promise me you'll talk when something's bothering you." Ten said without giving his brother a single glance. "Okay, baby Yangyang?" Ten grinned, turning his head to his brother who gave him a frown. "Baby- Im not your baby. I'm going to college next month." Yangyang deadpanned.

"Still."

Yangyang walked passed the crowded halls filled with students. His eyes focused on the ground to avoid eye contact, it seemed as if his ears had blurred out all the sounds around him. He felt numb. Yangyang decided that he would walk by the park to get some fresh air before picking up Chenle from his tuitions.

Yangyang walked down the park to see the oh-so-familiar siamese cat that he and Ten rescued months ago, which ran away the moment it saw that Ten was carrying a bucket full of water to bathe the dirty thing despite Yangyang's protests.

"Hey, I remember you." Yangyang spoke softly, kneeling down to brush his fingers against the cat's thin yet fluffy fur. The small creature purred in response as Yangyang gently caressed it's head with his thumb, scratching the underside of its chin.

"How are you, buddy?" Yangyang smiled as the cat stared up at him. "What are you doing here you little rascal?" he giggled to himself. He was too indulged in the cat's hypnotising blue eyes to realise that someone had been coming towards him.

The person kneeled down infront of him, the moment their eyes met with Yangyang. The boy jumped back in surprise, "oh, Y/n!" his body tense at the sight of the girl carrying a small package of cat food. Y/n blushed at the sight of Yangyang, waving shyly before kneeling down to squeeze out some food infront of the cat.

Yangyang avoided her gaze when she patted the small cat's head before pulling out a notebook from her saddlebag, quickly writing down on it before showing it to Yangyang. His eyes widened slightly at the gesture, slowly taking the book in his hands to read what's written.

'Is Yumyum yours?' it read.

"Yumyum?" Yangyang asked, furrowing his brows before looking at the cat, not noticing the flushed look that spread all over the girl's face. "Is that what you name him?" he chuckled, caressing his fingers over the small creature's messy fur as he handed over the girl's notebook back to her.

"No, he's not." he replied, a small smile stretching across his face. "My brother and I found him a couple months ago all wounded. When he got better, he just ran away before we could give him a proper bath." Yangyang chuckled at the memory.

Y/n started writing down quickly on her notebook, the sound of lead scratching on the surface of paper filling their ears as they ignored the people around them. Yangyang looked up, getting a moment to look at his soulmate's appearance as she writes.

The sunlight reflecting on her eyes made it seem as if he was seeing stars in the night sky. Her lips formed into a small pout as she wrote, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Her hair framing her face, exposing her features.

He was brought back to his senses when he realised that y/n was staring back at him in concern, her fingers snapping infront of his face. "Sorry, I was daydreaming." he mumbled, attempting to avoid her gaze by looking down at the cat which was finishing it's meal. He could feel heat taking over his face as Y/n brought her notebook to his line of vision, gesturing for him to read it.

'Not to be rude but, what are you doing here?'

Yangyang let out a soft sigh, sitting down on the concrete with his legs crossed after he put down his violin case carefully on the floor along with his bag. "I just wanted to take a walk before I pick up my cousin from school, then this little guy caught my eye" he replied with a smile. Y/n nodded slowly, her mouth forming a silent 'oh'.

"What are you doing here?" Yangyang asked after a pregnant pause, intertwining his fingers together and laying them on his lap as he stared up at her curiously. Y/n bit her lip before writing down in her notebook once again.

'I started coming here every Friday to feed Yumyum. I like to have sometime after a long week of school.'

"Is being an art major that hard?" he asked, feeling his body relax as he continued to have a conversation with her. Everything felt as if it was meant to be. Y/n was surprisingly nice to talk to, even though she was slightly shy to talk to the person she hasn't seen in years.

Yangyang forgot all bout the tension between them. Her hand pushing against his shoulder when he let out a corny joke, his smile widens as she let's out a silent giggle against her palm. It felt so natural talking to her. As if they had been good friends their whole lives. As if he had never hurted her. As if it didn't feel like a punishment nor a curse to be bounded together by a mark.

Yangyang's eyes widened at the thought, his body tensed up immediately. "I-uh" he stuttered, grabbing his violin case and his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. His hand going over to his left sleeve, tugging it over his fingers behind his back as he stood up abruptly.

"I j-just remembered I gotta pick up my cousin." Yangyang stammered nervously, his heart felt heavy again as he avoided y/n's eyes laced with concern. "I-Im sorry. I h-have to go. I-I'll see you around c-campus," he bit his lip, avoiding her gaze before walking away as fast as he could.

He felt his heart ache as memories flooded his head. 'Shit,' he thought. Flashbacks of him pushing and kicking the young girl, his brother's bruised lip and the bullying he endured fluttered through his mind. He grabbed the waterbottle from his backpack, chugging down some water to calm down.

Yangyang sat alone at the table of the cafeteria like always, mindlessly eating his food. His eyes wandered around the room, gaze falling at the innocent girl with the scar on her lips smiling happily in a table surrounded by her friends.

He sighed at the sight of her, leaning his face against his palm. The sunlight shining on her form making her aura brighter as she let out silent laughs and scribble quickly on her notebook. It felt nice to see the young girl get along with so many people.

Yangyang looked down at his food, playing with food once again. He pondered if this is what life would've been for y/n if he hadn't come into the picture. He wondered if he would be sitting in the same table as her if he hadn't kicked that ball towards her.

Yangyang's thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone pull the two chairs infront of him, two boys filling in the empty spaces. "Liu Yangyang right? The German violin kid who's also in Professor Zhou's class?" the boy who looks as if he came from the sports department.

Yangyang raised his brow, nodding hesitantly. "Great, I'm Guanheng. You can call me Hendery, if you like. This is Xuxi." the other boy introduced, his forearm laying on the table as his other hand pointed towards his friend who waved with a toothy smile in response.

"In case you didn't know. We, too, are also in the same class as you." Hendery smiled. Yangyang nodded in confusion, not seeing why they're sitting infront of him, eyes wandering from theirs to his soulmate's form. "Look, we know that the music project could be done solo and all. But-"

"We need your help!" Xuxi slammed his hands on the table, making Yangyang flinch in shock. Yangyang's eyes widened in surprise before sparing a glance at y/n who was still calmly communicating with her friends.

"What do you need my help for?" Yangyang spoke, raising his brow as he meet their nervous eyes and awkward smiles. "We wanted to do a duet for the project. Then our dumb asses realised we can't play instruments for shit." Xuxi explained.

"So you need my help to be your instrumentals?" Yangyang questioned, raising his brow. "Yes," the two boys said in unison, letting out similar cheeky grins. "Why should I help you guys exactly? I don't even know you guys that well." Yangyang went on.

"He's got a point." Xuxi mumbled to Hendery, only to get shoved by the shoulder. "Come on, we could be your friends! No offense, the table seems empty." Hendery smiled innocently. "I'm good," Yangyang mumbled, going back to his food with his eyes occasionally glancing back at the girl a couple tables away from them.

"Come on, we'll do anything!" Lucas nagged. "Yeah, what you want, Liu? Money? Cheat answers to the exams?" Hendery went on. Yangyang couldn't be bothered to even consider a word they were offering, for he was too busy gazing into the radiant beauty that is his soulmate.

"Yangyang? You listening?" Hendery asked once he realised Yangyang wasn't listening to a word he said. Both boys turned their backs, following Yangyang's eyes to the girl in sight. "Ooh," Xuxi grinned, giving Hendery a knowing smirk.

"Wow man. Didn't know you'd be the type to like someone other than your soulmate but I'll do the job for you-" Xuxi stood up from his chair, causing Yangyang's eyes to widen in panic. He stood up abruptly and reached out to grip his shoulder to stop Xuxi from taking a step further.

He watched as the girls began to stand up and leave the cafeteria. Yangyang let out a sigh of relief before glaring at the two boys, "dont you dare talk to her. I'll join your group, just-" he paused with a click of his tongue. "Just don't talk to her." Yangyang growled, pushing Xuxi's shoulder away before picking up his bag and gripped the case of his violin, leaving without another word.

He jogged out of the cafeteria, ignoring the two boy's loud voices of questioning when to meet up to practice for the project. Yangyang slowed down once he felt like he had gone far enough from the cafeteria, taking small breaths as he walked down the hall.

He stopped when he saw a familiar girl sitting all alone in a table with a pencil hanging on the top of her ears, a ruler in her hand and a piece of paper in their other. Brows furrowed in concentration, tongue slightly stuck out.

Yangyang smiled to himself at the sight of how cute she looked, leaning to get a better look of her expression. But he was soon interuppted by a male stepping into his line of vision, he looked around his age. "Who are you?" the male spoke in a rude tone.

Yangyang took a step back in surprise before stuttering out, "I-I just came here t-to talk to y/n." The male raised a brow in suspicion, frowning as he crossed his arms. "What? Are you like, her friend or something?" he asked.

Yangyang didn't know how to respond. Was he her friend? Or was he still that same bully in her eyes? "I-" he was cut off with a click of the male's tongue. "Thought so," the male then rudely shut the door to his face, leaving a baffled and flustered Yangyang standing in the hallway in confusion.

Yangyang ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He couldn't get this note right for tomorrow's solo presentation, he took a long sip of his Americano, clearing his throat before starting to play once again.

The sound of his violin echoing through the small room, once again. Yangyang's tired eyes never wandering away from the music sheet displayed before him. His mind concentrated on the notes to realise that a girl had walked into the music room.

The sound of a chair grinding against the tile caused Yangyang to jump back in shock, looking back in relief to see y/n placing the chair back to its original place. "Y/n?" Yangyang raised his brow in confusion. "What are you doing here? Curfew's in half an hour." Yangyang asked.

The girl smiled, quickly writing in her notebook and shoving it to the distressed boy's face.

'I was done with my assignment for today, I was heading back to the dorms to hear the beautiful melody of a violin. What are you still doing here?'

Yangyang bit his lip slightly, smiling up at her shyly. "Same here, I just kept getting these notes wrong. I need to get them done before tomorrow," Yangyang explained, scratching the back of his neck with one hand and pointing at the music sheet displayed with his bow in the other.

Y/n nodded, looking around the music room to observe the instruments around them. Yangyang put his violin back in its case, trying to ease his heart rate as he felt his heartstrings being tugged with every movement the girl made.

His left wrist ached to touch hers, but occupied it with tidying up his things and putting them into his case and bag. "Um, I'm closing up soon. You wanna walk back to the dorms together?" Yangyang asked hesitantly, swinging his bag over his shoulder as his eyes wandered to his feet to avoid eye contact.

Y/n nodded, walking out of the room, clutching her notebook in her hands as she waited for Yangyang to lock up the room and walk down the halls together. There was an awkward tension in the atmosphere around them as they didn't know what to talk bout.

Yangyang gulped internally, putting down his violin case as he closed the door, turning the key twice and ensuring the door is locked. Yangyang didn't notice y/n's eyes wandering curiously down his tall form, how his hair was tussled and messy from his fingers running through it I'm frustration.

How his lips were plump and sucked in between his teeth nervously. His freshly dyed brown hair. The baggy sweater making him look casually aesthetic. Y/n knew it's wrong to be looking at her friend like this, especially if Yangyang had a soulmate.

Speaking of soul mates, y/n's eyes wandered down to Yangyang's wrist. The long sleeves of his sweater barely covering the black ink mark staining the skin of his left wrist. Her eyes widened as she spotted two balloons, similar to the ones on hers.

When Yangyang moved away, y/n look up at his eyes which were filled with nervousness. He coughed lightly to release the awkward tension, "let's go." he mumbled shyly, turning to walk to the direction of the dorms before he was held back by a small hand wrapped around his forearm.

Yangyang's eyes widened as he looked back, looking down at the fingers gripping his white sweater tightly as to not make him leave. His eyes hesitantly looked at her own. Yangyang felt like he was going to melt at the sight of her eyebrows furrowed cutely. "Y/n?"

The hand that was on his forearm went down the his wrist, right below his tattoo. She lifted it up, tugging down the sleeves which made Yangyang's eyes widen. "Wait, no-" he stuttered out, trying to tug his wrist out of her grip before she could see the mark.

Unfortunately, he didn't realise how hard he was pulling. With the sheer amount of force he applied to pulling back his wrist, he made the girl fall forwards to the floor, eliciting a small broken hoarse squeak from the girl. "Oh my God, Y/n," Yangyang gasped out, realising his mistake.

His heart clenched. Once again,that excruciating feeling in his chest appeared. He couldn't make himself move to help you get up and once you do, you were looking at him with such concerned eyes, his guilt increased tenfold.

"I-Im sorry, I have to go" were the last words Yangyang stuttered out before sprinting out of there. Trying to go somewhere to clear his clouded mind, leaving his soulmate standing there in confusion. Yangyang took a deep breath as he barged into his dorm room, not caring the questions his roommates bombarded him as he quickly went to his room.

'Life couldn't get any shittier'

A/n: hey! This took me so long forgive me for the delay. I'll probably release the next chapter sooner than later so keep an eye out for that. Sorry for those who waited for so long for this lol. I realised its 12:40 AM and I'm on 10% and there's a chance that I have a quiz tomorrow that I have not studied for. Wml

Btw

#hug.#yangyang angst #wayv yangyang #nct yangyang #yangyang x reader #yangyang #nct angst #nct wayv #nct x reader #nctzen #wayv angst #wayv #wayv x reader #wayv scenarios #wayv au

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firemblem-fics · 4 years

Text

parents? PT. 1 | claude

firstly this is the longest thing ive ever written yay

secondly, this is only a part one. this is kind of introducing it! the good stuff will happen in part two i promise just give me a bit! thank u

Warnings: cursing, death, angst, claudes an asshole but also so are you at times, Claude makes a jab at single parenting just for the sake of the story I’m sorry

— — —

The village was in ruins. Nobody was spared in the fire as three demonic beasts rampaged through the rubble. The Golden Deer house fought valiantly to save everybody, but oftentimes such a thing simply could not happen. The beasts were too strong, knocking out four of the team’s own fighters before they finally defeated them.

Many people, like Marianne, were visibly distraught at such a tremendous loss. She was being comforted by Lysithea, who only held a rather troubled look in her eyes. Ignatz seemed crestfallen as well, as did some others. You, on the other hand, were rather angry. You were furious at the destruction around you. The fires, the destroyed homes, the lost lives.

It was under Claude’s leadership that these people weren’t saved. The professor was dealing with other matters, so she couldn’t be there to lead. Mistakes were made and they cost people their lives. You’d never truly cared for the boy, finding his “schemes” and his cocky and nosy personality rather annoying, but this was the icing on the cake for you.

Bristling in anger, you marched over to said boy, pointing a harsh finger into his chest. “This is YOUR fault.”

“My fault?” Claude nearly laughed. “Yeah, sure, some things happened, but that's what happens in battle, Y/N. This was a collective failure.”

“Those things cost people their lives, Claude. I can’t believe you’re so inconsiderate.”

Claude’s eyes lit up a little in frustration. “I'm inconsiderate? As if I didn’t try my hardest to save everyone? I’m new at leading. I’m only 17, if you don’t fucking remember. It’s not like I knew this was going to happen-“

A loud wail interrupted him. You furrowed your brows, looking at Claude before turning and looking around.

“What’s that?”

Claude shrugged, “A survivor, I hope.”

You ignored him and ran in the direction of the noise, stopping at a charred house. The fire had stopped, but the crying hadn’t. As you walked inside the burnt skeleton of the house, you hoped that the fire didn’t seriously hurt someone. They’d have trouble making it back to the monastery to be healed.

Another cry sounded as you moved into another room of the house. There, underneath a small, wooden-framed bed, laid a child. He was no older than 6, tears making trails down his ash-covered face. You kneeled down, trying to make yourself less intimidating to coax him out.

“Hey buddy,” You reached a hand out, internally grimacing as the little boy flinched away, “We’re not here to hurt you. We need to get you somewhere safe.”

The little boy looked around. “Wh-where is everybody?”

Your heart broke and you looked back at Claude, who had followed you, your eyes pleading for help. He sighed and knelt down beside you. “They all had to leave. It was really, really dangerous so they had to keep you safe. We’re here now to keep you even safer.”

That seemed to have calmed the little boy down at least a little. He slowly and shakily walked towards you. You held out both arms, silently asking to pick him up. He obliged and nearly crawled into you and you wrapped yourself tightly around him, whispering reassurances as he sat on your hip. You looked at Claude next, your face asking, “What the hell do we do?”

Claude only shrugged and walked back to the rest of the team, leaving you to trail slowly behind. You’d take him back to the monastery and go from there. The orphanage was rather full- there was no way they’d be able to care for another one.

--- --- ---

“We can’t help him in the way that you’re asking, Y/N. I apologize.”

Your heart dropped. Rhea had asked you to talk to the lady at the orphanage anyways, hoping that she would be able to accept him. Unfortunately, she couldn’t.

“Then what’s the purpose of an orphanage?” You didn’t want to yell seeing as the boy- August, you’d learned- was sleeping on your hip. “Aren’t you supposed to take in kids? Help them? Raise them? He’s lost everything. And now he can’t even get a home?”

The lady only sighed. “I’m really sorry. He wouldn’t be getting the attention that you’re asking me to provide. I’ve got other children to tend to.” She went to walk away, but then stopped. “Just keep him to yourself if you’re that worried about him.” She huffed, slamming the door closed behind her.

Keeping him? You thought. I wouldn’t be opposed, but I’ve got class. And fighting. And I’m seventeen. Ah, fuck it. My parents would love him.

You walked away, careful not to wake August, and made your way to the audience chambers where Rhea was. You’d only hoped she’d let you take responsibility. But you’d never given her a reason not to trust you, right?

“Absolutely not.”

Wrong.

“What? Seteth, why not? I’m responsible.I can do it- August’s well behaved. And- and I’ve got my friends too. They can help a little. He’s not a helpless baby and he can do things on his own, he just trusts me a little more to help him.” You pleaded. At this point, you knew that nobody would take care of him. You couldn’t just leave him.

“You’re just a child yourself, Y/N. You know nothing about raising a child.” He argued back.

“Neither do new parents! What are you gonna do next, tell new parents that they can’t keep their first child? Please, I’m responsible. Lady Rhea, tell him I’m responsible.” You turned to the Archbishop, who was simply standing there.

“I believe this will be a good experience. Y/N has never given me any reason to distrust her.”

“Lady Rhea, this is absurd-”

“However, she has to find someone to assist her if the workload becomes too much to handle. I, on the other hand, will take a look into the orphanage to see what we can do. The only absurdity here is how they have turned away children.”

“Thank you, Lady Rhea. I won’t disappoint you.” With that, you left the chambers and walked through the yards, ignoring the strange looks that people gave you as you headed back to the Golden Deer Classroom. August stayed on your hip with his head resting against your shoulders, his small fingers twirling your hair around.

You stopped outside of the classroom and called the little boy’s name, waiting until he looked at you to continue. “We’re gonna go learn now, but you’ve gotta stay quiet. If you need to talk, whisper to me, okay?”

August nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

Hm, he has manners. That’s perfect.

You quietly opened the door, hoping that nobody would notice. Your hopes were in vain. Everyone turned around at the sound of the giant doors, their eyes moving from you to the little blonde boy on your hip. Reactions varied- Hilda practically cooed at him while Lorenz could only watch you take the only open seat with disgust. You were disgusted too, but it was because the only open seat was next to Claude. As Byleth resumed teaching, Claude slid a note over to you.

‘Was single parenting on your bucket list?’

You rolled your eyes, looking over at August to make sure he wasn’t watching you write before replying.

‘Fuck you. Rhea said that I need to have someone help me if I have trouble, and just for that comment I’ll ask for it to be you.’

Claude read the note and chuckled quietly, crumpling it up and putting it in his pocket. You assumed that the conversation was over, so you allowed August to crawl into your lap and lay against you to have a small nap. The poor kid had a long day, after all. This didn’t stop Claude from leaning over to you and whispering.

“So, does that mean you’ll call me daddy?”

You choked on your own spit suddenly, waking up August and making your other classmates look at you. Byleth turned around and gave you a look, but you could only wave them off as you kept coughing. You glared at Claude, who had a grin on his face. God, he loved watching you suffer, didn’t he?

He kept smirking at you, but lost it when you grew your own. If he was going to tease you about helping a kid, you were going to make sure he’d pay the price. As his eyebrows furrowed a little with worry, you asked, “Can you walk with me to see Lady Rhea after class?”

--- --- ---

“Lady Rhea, I told you she wasn’t responsible enough. Look, she comes back two hours later and already requests for assistance.”

First of all, Fuck you Seteth. Second of all, this was just revenge.

“Okay, listen, I don’t know why I’m here either-”

“I’d like to request assistance just in case. Say I have to take a shower or do something and August can’t be with me? I’d like to be able to have someone else help care for him when I might not be able to for a bit.” You interrupted Claude.

“What makes you think that Claude is a good candidate to help you? Why are you choosing him?” Seteth retorted.

Spite, you wanted to say. “He’s the leader of the Golden Deer. Heir to the Alliance. He’s been able to take care of us through battles and such, how much harder could it be to help take care of one child? Even then, I’ll only need his help for a few minutes at a time.” You said. Damn, you were good at acting like you actually tolerated him.

“Lady Rhea, Seteth, please, I don’t want-”

“Plus, would you really trust anyone else in the Golden Deer to help me?” You cut him off again.

Claude could only glare at you as Rhea weighed her decision. You smirked before turning to check on August, who had occupied himself by spinning in circles around a column. You whispered August’s name to get his attention, holding out your hand as he came towards you. He placed his smaller hand in yours and stood patiently in between you and Claude

Rhea’s face soon bloomed into a soft smile. “Whenever you need assistance, Claude will be there.”

You thanked her and bowed, following behind the Alliance heir as he nearly stormed out of the chambers. When you got outside, he whipped around to face you.

“What the hell was that?” He growled, “Revenge? For what, one simple comment? A little joke? And now I’m stuck waiting on you if you ‘ever need my assistance’, whatever that bullshit means.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, pulling August close to you. “First of all, watch your language. He’s only six. Secondly, I think your comment was insensitive. You were making fun of single parents and my bucket list- which you know is a big deal for me.”

“Alright, whatever. I’m sorry for saying something about single parenting, I shouldn’t have, but I think I have the right to have an opinion about your dumb little list.”

“Claude, you don’t even know why it’s important to me, you just want a reason to make me upset-”

“Well? You deserve to be upset. I’m upset too, because now I have to help a brat take care of a little brat. I didn’t ask for this shit.” Claude rolled his eyes and walked away.

You stood still for a bit, watching him leave with angry tears in your eyes. You snapped out of it when a tiny hand pulled at your shirt. You looked at August.

“Can we go ‘M sleepy.” He yawned.

“Of course. We can go to my room and you can sleep for the rest of the night.”

You made a mental note to grab dinner for the both of you once he was asleep and scooped him up, letting him doze off again against your shoulder as you walked back to your dorm room. The poor boy had a very rough day- and so did you. A nap sounded very nice.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem imagines #fire emblem three houses x reader #x reader #fire emblem three houses imagines #claude #claude x reader #claude von riegan imagines #claude von riegan #claude von riegan x reader

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nanasarea · 4 years

Text

Love, Lux, and Tulips III

Prompt: Your mom and Jeno’s mom were best friends, so you grew up together as one big family and became best friends, but once you started Lux academy, you met your new crush Renjun, who became a tad jealous, to say the least.

Genre: fluff, angst, rich!au, magic!au

Pairing: childhood best friend!jeno x reader x classmate!renjun

Word count: 1.4k

a/n: title credit to @neocitybynight also despite writing about it here, i do not suggest any of you do any time of love spells, because by definition, it falls under the dark magic category as it’s making someone do something against their will but this is a au where it’s harmless.

also damn it, donghyuck.....😪

remember you can still vote for endgame here

Tag list: @legendnct @mjlkau @neocrush @nanaliightx

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“You’re adorable.” You ruffled his hair before you said your goodbyes to Irene and walked outside. “I heard you made a new friend.” Jeno said as you made your way towards the school. “You mean Renjun?” You asked, to which he nodded. “That would be the one. What’s he like?” He asked “He’s…sweet.” You said.

Sweet. Was he just sweet or was that your way of not admitting your crush on him? Jeno knew how to read you, for him, you were practically like an open book, he knew exactly when and what you were feeling, so obviously, he knew you were developing a crush on the boy. It wasn’t hard to miss, you were acting the same way as when you were 12 and denied having a crush on peter pan.

What Jeno couldn’t read is why, why were you hiding it from him? He’s your best friend, if anyone should know, it’s him. Sure, he didn’t exactly want you to have a crush on Renjun, but the least you could do was tell Jeno. It might sound cliche, but yes, Jeno was into you, of course he was. How could he not? You’ve been best friends since you were in diapers, you grew up together, you were raised together, he was one of the only people his age that he was around so much, of course he developed a crush.

The first kiss didn’t help and he remembers it like it was yesterday, mainly because he keeps replaying the moment in his brain.

“Jeno, you think it’s different, don’t you?” You asked, causing his heart to speed up. “I mean, it’s different if I touch you here…” You started, placing your hand on his shoulder “Or here?” You added, starting to tickle him, causing him to fall back and burst into laughter, but after a good minute had passed and you finally stopped.“I guess that’s different.” he sighed, catching his breath. “I guess so.” You agreed, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. “Do you wanna see what the hype is about?” he asked, nervously, hoping you wouldn’t suspect anything.

“Kinda, but only if you want to.” You said, turning to face him. “I do, I mean how special can it feel anyway?” he laughed, you quickly mimicking his nervous laughter. “Here goes.” he said before placing a quick kiss on your lips. It was faint, but it was nice, he felt like going in for another, but realized he couldn’t. “Anything?” he asked “you?” you asked back, to which you both shook your head nervously before blurting out a good night to one another and going to bed.

Since that day, he had always felt this urge to kiss you, even if you were just standing there, looking as breathtaking as ever. One could argue that he felt like that, especially when you were just standing there, because nothing was stopping him, expect for himself, of course.

There was this time, when he was 14, he wanted to confess, he wrote a magic letter that wrote itself as you read, it was a light blue paper with dark blue ink, it had cute flower patters around the corners and it even smelled like your favourite flowers, but he chickened out last minute, because he got scared of rejection, but he still regrets not slipping that note your way that day.

“If I were you, I’d stay away from the pineapple fruit cups, they have a weird after taste.” You heard a voice behind you say. “Oh, thanks.” You said, turning your head towards and smiling. “No problem. You’re the new kid, right?” He asked “That would be me.” You laughed.

If only Renjun could know, for sure, if you and Jeno were a thing. It was one to speculate and it was other to know. If he knew, he could tell himself that he should get over you or convince himself to make a move. He liked you, he really did. He liked hanging out with you, talking to you, and just simply being around you. You were more than a delight to be around, you had so many things in common and to talk about.

It didn’t help that you were drop dead gorgeous in his mind, you were one of the most beautiful humans to exist, so a lot of times, he found himself just staring at and admiring you as you talked about the time you first learned turning vegetables into cookies and using all the time as a kid.

He had almost confessed multiple times, but then the thought of you and Jeno creeping into his mind always stopped him. He never go to ask you if you and Jeno were a thing or not, maybe he was too scared to ask or, more realistically too scared of the answer, but has he already gotten his answer?

“I was wondering and kinda hoping that you would like to go with me, maybe?” Renjun asked “Only if you want to, of course.” Renjun added, playing with the grapes on his plate.

“I’m, um, actually going with Jeno already-” You answered, which seemed like a pretty solid answer, but it didn’t seem like you meant it like that, or maybe he wished you didn’t mean it like that.

“Ready to go?” Jeno asked “Sure, let me get my pho-” and with a snap of his fingers, your phone was in your hand “Ready now?” He asked “Eager much.” You laughed “Only for you.” He half-jokingly said before opening the door for you. “Gasp, what a gentleman.” You said, to which he winked before you made your way to the car.

“I heard Renjun is going too.” Jeno informed as you drove to the drive in. “Is that so?” You asked, tensing up “Yeah, do you know if he’s going with anyone?” He asked, as if he could sense your tense. “Not that I know of.” You admitted and before you knew it, you were at the drive in.

“Your usual?” Jeno asked as he opened the roof of the car “You know me oh so well.” You dramatically said before chuckling “I’ll be right back.” He chuckled, getting out of the car and towards the snack bar and in the meantime, you took your phone out of your pocket and started playing the new cat game Jeno recommended you as few cars over, extremely nervous Renjun was talking to Chenle.

“Are you sure this will work?” Renjun asked “For the last time, yes. All you have to do is aim at the space between Jeno and the girl in the car next to him and he’ll fall for her immediately.” Chenle answered for the 4th time that night. “I feel bad.” Renjun admitted, looking down at the bow and arrow.

“Making Jeno fall in love or not being confident enough to just tell y/n how you feel?” Chenle asked. “Shut up.” Renjun scuffed “You know I’m right.” Chenle chuckled.

“You feel bad, because despite liking y/n, you fear that you shouldn’t be interfering with her and her life, especially the aspect, where someone else is affected. If you were confident enough, you could just go over to her and tell her the truth and hope for the best, but you’re not just scared of rejection, but also afraid of losing your friend.” Chenle patted Renjun’s shoulder.

“Since when are you so mature?” Renjun asked “It’s not like I’m wrong.” Chenle said before he excused himself to go get some more popcorn as Renjun stared at the bow and arrow in his hand and thought to himself, is he really going to do this? is he really going to make Jeno and a random girl fall in love for his own gain? He sighed, thinking of how bad this situation is before convincing himself it’s not that bad.

“Here goes nothing.” Renjun sighed before pointing the bow down and attaching an arrow to the string. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” he whispered he aimed the arrow and pulled the bow’s drawstring back toward his face. Just as he was releasing the grip on the string, he sighed one last time.

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” His friend, Haechan interrupted by putting his hand over the boy’s shoulders, causing the arrow to fly to a different target, which just so happen to be between you and Jeno.

“God damn it, Donghyuck.” Renjun angrily whispered.

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zambie-trashart · 4 years

Text

Zombizou: Rewritten Series

read whole series here

BACKGROUND INFO IMPORTANT!!!!!!

Takes place before Reverser but after Queen’s Battle. Nino and Alya have already been given their miraculous. Jon and Adrien are not together yet but Adrien knows who he is. I know the timing for the episode is screwed up but before I write heroes’ day I have to give Alya and Nino their miraculous.

Summary: Flashback to a simpler time where all heroes had to worry about was stopping the bad guy. Except this time the four heroes have some unexpected help.

.........................................

In Paris it’s important to know that anything you do will end up with an akuma sooner or later. Yelling, fighting, losing, having something taken away, everything ends up with an akuma. Negative emotions can be fought but it takes will and some serious control over your emotions. Marinette knows cause she’s done it before.

Jon and Marinette sat on the edge of her balcony preparing a gift for their teacher’s birthday. They were excited and feeling a sort of buzz in the air surrounding them.

“Are you ever going to give Nino and Alya back the miraculous?” Jon asked looking at his cousin who was still sewing.

“Maybe, if I need them, you and Robin were MIA those two times we had to fight akumas,” Marinette said putting down the purse looking and looking it over. “Done.”

“It’s nice, I went over to the fortress and got one of the crystals that my dad grows there, on Krypton this would mean gratitude,” Jon said holding up the small crystal that he had made into a necklace. “Also about Robin and I, we still have to make appearances in America so people think we don’t live here and that we aren’t going to help them anymore.” Jon looked at his cousin who’s shoulders dropped. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just thinking about how you’re only here for one year and then you’re going home again, this year has been amazing so far and I don’t really want it to ever end,” Marinette said and the cousins stared at the setting sun thinking about how much time they had left.

Everyone walked into class the next day holding gifts and after a confrontation with Chloe about how she never gets anyone gifts, Miss. Bustier opened up gifts one by one, she had placed Jon’s necklace around her neck almost crying at how the light hit it and made it sparkle thinking that Jon must have spent so much money on it. She got to Marinette’s gift and saw that it had been vandalized. She asked to speak to her in the hall.

“Miss. Bustier you know I didn’t do that, it must have been Chloe she was the only one who didn’t get you a gift,” Marinette spewed out. She wasn’t very proud of it but she was starting to get angry, she was so angry that she didn’t even notice the black butterfly coming toward her.

“No, get away from my student!” Miss. Bustier shouted throwing the purse at it and it attached itself to the lip balm that was in the purse.

“NO! You can fight it Miss. you can fight it don’t listen to him!” Marinette watched as her teacher transformed and ran back into the classroom.

“Marinette, what happened?” Jon asked looking at his shocked cousin.

“She was akumatized,” Marinette said running up to the back of the classroom standing next to Jon who watched as the door flung open and Miss. Bustier had become someone else.

“I am Zombizou and from now one everyone will hug and kiss and feel the love!” Alya and Nino ducked under their desks as lip shaped black things came for them. Alya remembered the time she saved her sisters and the power she felt. She wanted to be a hero and she wanted to prove herself to Ladybug.

Nino took his girlfriend’s hand and pulled her out of the room and to the roof of the school where everyone else was going. He thought of when he saved Alya from her older sister. He felt like he could do anything, he helped Ladybug for crying out loud. She may have named him Captain Turtle in the beginning but hey that was something that he didn’t care about at the time. He saw the way Alya looked at him and he wanted that feeling forever. He wanted to save more people and if saving his class was what he had to do to feel that feeling again, that’s what he would do.

Ladybug swung in with Chat right behind her. Jon had just run up with some kids from other classes. “We have to do something,” Jon said looking down at all of the zombified classmates.

“Yeah, Chat and I have to beat the villain, but we can’t leave you guys here,” Ladybug said looking around and finding a bus. “Chat, do you know how to drive?” Ladybug asked smirking.

“Maybe,” Chat said wearing the same look and Robin dropped behind him.

“Care to explain what’s going on right now?” Robin asked and the two heroes lost their balance for a second.

“We’re going to the Eiffel Tower, come on everyone down the zipline,” Ladybug said creating a way to the bus with her yoyo.

Someone of the bus had been kissed and the students started sacrificing themselves for the heroes until soon it was just Chloe, Alya, Nino and Jon left. Jon was exhausted, all of the students had kept asking why they needed to keep Chloe and why they couldn’t just give Zombizou what she wanted. They had started walking to the elevator and Parisians came running at them full speed. One of them almost got Robin but Alya dove out in front of him and got kissed instead. Nino stayed behind to sit with his girlfriend while she changed.

“Nino, are you sure you want to stay behind?” Ladybug asked. He had been so helpful last time he helped her out. Alya had been too but they didn’t have their powers now so she guessed that this was for the best and the remaining five stepped into the elevator and got out on the top floor.

“This is all my fault, if I had just gotten Miss. Bustier a gift like everyone else then I wouldn’t have felt jealous and ruined Marinette’s. I... I hurt people and that’s not right, I should be more like you Ladybug,” Chloe said looking up at her hero.

“Just try better next time Chloe, for now, we have to stop Zombizou.” Someone snuck up behind the fivesome while they were talking and kissed Jon who jumped at the feeling of lips on his cheek.

“Shit...” Jon said feeling a little twitchy as Robin kicked the person off the Eiffel Tower and onto the level below them. “Get inside and kick some ass LB,” Jon said standing on the edge of the Eiffel Tower prepared to jump off.

“What the hell Jon!” Chat yelled as he jumped and Chat jumped after him not wanting him to hurt himself. Chat loved Jon and Superboy so there was no way that he was going to let him die.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Ladybug’s miraculous would have brought me back,” Jon said starting to feel the change.

“Come on sugar, give me a smooch,” Chat said before Jon dived onto him.

Ladybug facepalmed at Chat’s stupidity. She used her lucky charm and got makeup remover. She saw Zombizou standing on the edge of the Eiffel Tower prepared to get the last three standing. They locked eyes and she saw a towel out of the corner of her eye and grabbed it, squirted some remover on, and flung her yoyo getting the lipstick off and when Zombizou went to put more on, she grabbed the lipstick and crushed it.

After everything was fixed and Chloe apologized to Miss. Bustier, everything seemed normal again.

Jon sat on Marinette’s balcony and his cousin joined him.

“When were you going to tell me?” Jon asked looking at his cousin asking a very vague question.

“About what?” Marinette asked nervously.

“About Chat liking me, everything gets fixed and then all of a sudden I open my eyes and I’m sitting on Chat who’s got his arms wrapped around me like a snake and he ain’t letting go but not only that, he’s got his tongue so far down my throat he could have been taking my tonsils out!” Jon yelled not angry but obviously freaking out.

“You’re an idiot,” Marinette said walking back down the ladder to her room.

“What? Come on Marinette! Tell me more!”

...........................................

JPS: @loveswifi @ash-amg @wannajointhecrabcult @mochegato @mochinek0 @toodaloo-kangaroo @thatonecroc @liquid-luck-00 @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @moonspiritwolf1

#jon x adrien #jon and marinette #jon and damian #jon kent #jon protection squad #marinette x damian #marinette dupain cheng #damian wayne #miraculous class #miraculous ladybug #miraculous rewrite

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shadedrose01 · 4 years

Text

Maybe There's a Reason (To Believe You'll Be Okay)

Relationships: Harley Keener & Tony Stark (platonic), Harley Keener/Peter Parker (at the end)

Summary: Harley has a crisis, and Tony helps him through it (with a hint of parkner at the end).

Tags: Remix, Parkner Remix Event, Even though its barely parkner whoops, Emails, Letters, Phone Calls & Telephones, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Sexual Identity, Identity Issues, Coming Out, Kinda?, Sexuality, Gay Harley Keener, Crushes, Harley Keener Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Acceptance, Self-Acceptance, Love, Parental Love, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, tony stark is a dad, why is that not a tag, Parkner is only at the end, for like a paragraph, Just so yall know :)

For the Parkner Discord Remix Event!!

A remix of @official-impravidus ' fic "Sincerely, Me" (which you can read here!)

This is longer, so ao3 link is here!

Hope you all enjoy! Love you lexie!!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 1:24PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Relationships and Mark V

I don't understand dating. Like, my friend Bryan started dating Rachel today, and that's fine, whatever, but I just don't get it. All they did was hold hands and kiss each other all day. Is that all a relationship is? What even is the point of it? I mean, I know humans are animals and our instincts give us our need to reproduce so we need to find a viable mate and all that stuff, but why do you need to always be together, and hold hands, and do all of that gross stuff too?

Either way, I finally got around to building a mark V for my potato gun! It's just a few upgrades up from the mark IV, for faster shots and farther range, but I think it'll be cool once it's done.

I hope your day is going okay.

-Harley

~~~

Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 10:43PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Relationships and Mark V

Relationships are complex, and complicated. Humans are born to reproduce, yes, but dating, and finding a partner is more than that. It's finding someone you're compatible with, who can be there at your best and at your worst, and a bunch of other deep seeded emotions that are hard to explain.

You don't need to worry about that now, though. You'll understand more when you're older, anyways, so I wouldn't worry about it.

My day has been good. More of a lazy day today, Pepper and I ordered some take out and watched movies in our pjs. I didn't have my phone on me per Peppers request, or I would have answered sooner.

As for the Mark V, the updates sound good. Keep me posted, kid.

-The Mechanic

~~~

Monday, September 8, 2014, 4:57PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Middle School!!

I started middle school today!! And honestly? It wasn't as exciting as I thought it was gonna be. I knew that movies and tv shows oversell the wow factor of middle school and high school but I didn't think it'd be this dull. I'm still in the same class, with all the same classmates, and my classes are still crazy easy. I had hoped that the increase in grade would make it even a little bit harder, but I knew everything on the outline they gave out before the teachers even started teaching!! It's bonkers!

Apparently this middle school also has a STEM, or "gifted" kid program for kids like me though, so hopefully that'll be harder. I'm still gonna be so bored in my normal classes though. Ugh.

I have the STEM classes tomorrow, so I'll tell you how it goes. I know you've been stuck in those awful meetings lately, but I hope your day is going better than mine.

-Harley

~~~

Tuesday, September 9, 2014, 5:04PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: STEM Program

I had my STEM class day today, and it went a lot better than yesterday did! My teachers are all super nice, especially my math teacher, Mr. Trevor. He immediately starting teaching today, which was awesome, because all of my other normal teachers had a Ice Breaker class first (which I hate, we all already know each other, why do we have to say our names and something about ourselves??), but he just went right into it, and started teaching us trigonometry. I haven't learned any of it before, and I'm super excited to dig into it and find out how it works. It's seeming pretty simple so far, just formulas and using calculators right.

The only bummer is the class I got put with. They all seemed to click and get along well together, but none of them really talked to me much. I don't mind though. I'm more focused on my education anyways.

Also! I saw that Captain America and Black Widow took down SHIELD's headquarters on the news. What was that about? Do you know?? Apparently they leaked files too or something???

I hope everything is okay.

-Harley

~~~

Friday, September 12, 2014, 10:27AM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: STEM Program

Hey kid. Sorry for the late response, things have been hectic here, as you probably know. It's been a PR nightmare, with the whole "Cap took SHIELD down" fiasco. I can't say more than that though. Legal things, NDAs, you know how it is.

I'm glad the STEM classes are testing your abilities more. I know the regular classes can be boring for someone of your intellect, but try to enjoy them while they last, okay? Soon you'll be an adult, and doing adult things, and trust me, it isn't as fun as they make it out to be in the movies either.

Don't worry about those kids too. Give it time, they'll come around.

-The Mechanic

~~~

Friday, September 26, 2014, 9:02PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Update?

Hi. Just emailed to give an update on me. Everything's been pretty normal, I guess. Abbie's loving elementary school, her teacher, Mrs. Millar, is really nice. I did my trig test today, and I think I did well. Mama's working late again tonight, but that's just normal at this point too.

Have you ever, I dunno. Felt like you were weird? Or strange, or broken? Like, all of your friends are one way, and doing some things, but you aren't, and everyone looks at you weird, and treats you differently?

I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this. I just feel off tonight. Think I'm going to go to bed early.

I'm sorry.

-Harley

~~~

Friday, September 26, 2014, 9:48PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Update?

You don't need to apologize, kid. You did nothing wrong.

I used to feel like that, quite frequently if I'm being honest. When I first went to MIT, I felt weird. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and had people talk about me behind my back because of how young I was. But then I met Rhodey, and things got better.

And then Afghanistan happened. And the invasion. Let me tell you kid, I've never felt more broken and alone after that. I had panic attacks, as you know, but I also struggled with a lot of paranoia. Lack of sleeping or eating properly, mixed with trauma does that to you. I was a wreck, and I was so certain I couldn't be fixed. That I'd be like that forever.

And to an extent, I will be. I'll always struggle with it, but it's much, much better now than it used to be. I went to therapy, talking about my feelings, which sucked ass (don't tell your mom I said that), and learned mechanisms to help myself. Learned breathing techniques, practiced meditation, focused more on self care, and now I'm doing so much better.

So, moral of this long, way too personal story. You aren't broken, kid. Whatever is going on, whether it's similar to me or not (I hope not), it'll be okay. You will be okay. Things will work out. And don't worry about what other people think. Focus on yourself, and do what makes you happy, no matter what.

I'm always here if you need to talk, Harley. I might not be much help, or be very good at this whole hormonal preteen emotions thing yet, but I can try.

I'm glad things are going okay outside of that though. I'm glad your sister's settling in well, and I'm sure you aced your test. You're a smart kid.

Goodnight.

-Tony

~~~

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014, 3:38PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Call

Hey, can we call? I know you're probably busy, and we don't normally do that but I'm kinda freaking out about something and I don't know who else to talk to. My number is (___) ___-____

-Harley

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014, 3:41PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Call

Nevermind, ignore that last email. I was being overdramatic, and stupid. I'm fine, everything is okay.

Sorry for bothering you.

-Harley

---

He didn't expect anything from the emails. He assumed the older man would've read his last email, and shrugged it off, pretending the previous didn't exist like Harley longed for him too. As he said, he was being dumb. It didn't matter that his heart was pounding, that his brain was screaming at him that he was a freak, and dirty, and so so so wrong , that he was shaking like a leaf and on the verge of tears. It didn't matter. It was stupid. It didn't matter.

He didn't expect that Tony would actually still call him.

He stares at his vibrating cell phone through teary eyes, blurry vision, the number unknown but he knows who it is, knows it because nobody else calls, because when his friends call, they call the home phone, not his phone, so who else could it be?

He blinks the tears out of his eyes, rubbing them away quickly when a few escape, swallowing down his fear and panic and self hatred as he scrambles to pick it up before the call ends (he doesn't think Tony would appreciate it very much if he let it ring to voicemail), stuttering out a shaky, higher pitched "H-Hello?"

"Hey, kid." Tony's voice, much lower and rougher than his, rings through the phone, and Harley braces for the questions, the interrogation he knows is coming, knows Tony's gonna ask him about it, about what's bothering him. Why, why did he email him? Now he's gonna have to tell him what's wrong, now he's gonna have to admit it, admit how wrong and messed up and broken he is- "How was your day?"

Harley jerks back slightly, mouth gaping and eyes wide, caught off guard by the unexpected tame question. "Huh?"

"How was your day?" The man repeats calmly, tone smooth, even, relaxed, like it's a normal conversation on a normal, boring day. Nothing like how Harley is feeling, nothing like the swarming thoughts in his mind, like the flood of emotions in his chest, like the churning in his stomach, the burning ache in his lungs.

"U-uhm," Damn his stutter, he had grown out of it years ago, why was it suddenly coming back now? "I-it was good." He lies, trying to keep his voice from wavering, trying to keep it steady, trying to stay composed as the tsunami of emotions tries to pull him under. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Tony prods lightly, voice softening slightly, and Harley shakes his head in a nod, firm, even though Tony can't see it, even as tears start to burn at his eyes again, even his chest winds tighter and tighter and tighter .

"Mhm." He forces out, not trusting himself to speak anymore, his throat closing as his feelings start rising up his esophagus, a sob clawing its way up his throat, trying to escape.

There's a pause, then, a moment when everything freezes. A moment right before the iceberg tips, right before everything crashing and burning down around him, right before the beginning of the end. And then, time starts again, as the mechanic asks, quiet, hushed "What's going on, Harley?"

And Harley crumbles .

The sob rips from his throat, echoing loudly in the large emptiness of his garage, a trembling hand covering his mouth as soon as he does. But the floodgates have already opened, tears are streaming full force down his face, his body shuttering through shaky gasps and shattered sobs. "I-I-Im sorry ," He chokes out as he sits down heavily in his old, pachy wheely chair, curling into himself as his body shutters again. He rubs his eye with the hand on his face, sniffling and coughing through a whimpered, "I-I know you're- you're probably b-busy, you- you don't h-have to-"

"I have nowhere else to be." Tony murmurs simply, cutting off Harley's poor attempt at waving him off, at delaying the inevitable for any longer. Harley lets out a small whine as the older man speaks up again, soft, soothing, repeating gently, "What's going on, kid?"

"I-I dont-" He hiccups, running a hand through his shaggy, too long blond curls, tugging slightly as his knee bounces rapidly. "M-My friends, or my classmates, they- lately, they've been, I don't know, they've been talking- talking more about crushes and girls and stuff." Harley sniffles, tugging his hair harder as his vision starts to blur again, the words tumbling out of his mouth now. "And- and I never really c-cared about it, you know? I never really- really unders-stood it, didn't see the appeal, s-so I didnt m-mind it. But they- they just keep talking about it, and getting g-girlfriends, and-and talking about their bodies and I didnt get the- the i-interest, so I thought maybe something was wrong with me-"

"There isn't." Tony chips in, but Harley just runs right over him, keeps blabbering. He knows it's rude, knows his mama taught him better, but he can't seem to stop talking now that he started, his words getting more and more wobbly, panicked the longer he goes.

"But there is , there is something wrong with me, I- I know there is now, be-because when I-I went to school today, the- the past few days really, I started- started noticing that I started f-feeling weird, and- and it sounds- sounds similar to how the- the others say they feel, but it doesn't make sense , it can't be that, I dont- I cant-" Harley's breath catches, and he grinds his teeth together, refuses to speak another word, refuses to accept it, refuses to admit the god awful truth, refuses to utter the words. Because it can't be right, it can't be true, it can't be-

They sit in silence for a few moments, when he assumes Tony thought he would continue speaking but he wont, he refuses , until the softer, calmer voice returns, slightly staticky through the speaker, but barely more than a whisper, as if he spoke any louder, Harley would shatter. He probably would. "So, if I'm understanding correctly, you think you have a crush, and you're... scared?"

He doesn't sound patronizing, just honest, if a bit curious, but it doesn't help calm Harley any, a higher pitched, frustrated noise escaping the back of his throat, his free hand going out of his hair going back to rubbing at his face, rubbing off the tracks of tears, trying to rub away any sign of upset, until his skin is red and raw. "No, I-I mean, kinda- its not- I can't- god , this is so stupid."

"Its not stupid. I get it." The man responds, and Harley wants to laugh, feels the bitter feeling bubbling in his chest, because does he? How can he get this? Harley doesn't even get this, it doesn't- he shouldn't- "What's her name?"

The sound erupts out of him at that, but instead of laughter like he thought it would be, it's just another pitiful whine, another loud, agonizing sob. Because that's the thing, the thing that's been haunting him ever since he figured it out earlier that day, the issue that's been plaguing his mind and freaking him out, winding him up more and more and more as the day went on until he got home and sent those messages.

Because- because when he thinks back to earlier that day, he thinks of lunchtime, of sitting at his lunch table with his "friends", of them talking and laughing, of Harley feeling those weird feelings again, especially when he looked across from him, and saw big, forest green eyes, saw a big, toothy grin, saw two small dimples and scattered freckles, saw short, short black hair, saw a sharper, thinner jaw, saw male male male, felt butterflies flutter, and realized he was wrong, wrong, wrong .

Because- "It's not a girl." His voice is small, defeated, barely a whisper, his whole body tensed up in fear, waiting, waiting for his reaction.

There's a pause, before a faint, quiet, sympathetic, "Oh, kid." That Harley immediately the wrong way, because he hates him, oh god he hates him-

"I'm sorry!" He gasps, jerking upright, sitting ramrod straight and the apologies spilling from his mouth. "I'm so sorry, I didnt- I dont mean to, and I-I know its wrong, and I shouldn't, and I-I know I'm weird and- and a freak , and-"

"Hey, hey, woah!" Tony's voice is louder now, stronger, and Harley hushes up immediately, his mouth slamming shut, even as his body trembles with a silent sob. "It's okay, kid. You aren't any of that."

"But- but I am!" Harley whimpers. "I'm w-weird, and everyone else isn't like this , and-"

"Am I a freak?" Again, the random question sends Harley for a loop, trying to grasp onto any of his quickly scattering thoughts.

"W-what?"

He can hear a faint smile, faint amusement in Tony's tone as he asks again, still so so calm, so reassured, "Am I a freak?"

Harley narrows his shining eyes, still full of tears, staring down at the wooden table in front of him, at the chips and nicks covering the side of it, wondering if this is a trick question. "N-No? Of- of course not, you're Iron Man."

He can hear some noise in the background of the call now, squeaking as if someone's leaning back in a chair, before Tony speaks up again, voice full of warm amusement now. "Well, Iron Man has had a few rendezvous with men in the past, and still likes them to this day. Does that make him, and therefore, me, a freak?" When Harley doesn't answer, mostly out of pure shock than anything else, Tony keeps going, tone going serious again. "Kid, I'm gonna get this out there right away. There is nothing wrong with you for liking boys, you hear me?"

He swallows, and wants to agree, longs to agree, but- "But- but my friends, they all like- like girls , and mama, she- she said that traditional marriage was what God wanted and-"

Harley cuts himself off this time, and Tony only waits a few beats before murmuring softly, "Is that what you think?"

He just shrugs, picking at the table, sniffling, whispering quietly, "I don't know what to think anymore."

There's a soft hum and another pause. "You're different, Harley. I'm not going to beat around the bush, you are different." Harley stomach drops. "But," Tony continues, "Kid, you've always been different. You're so smart, way too smart for your own good, if I'm being honest. And there's nothing wrong with that. People may try to bring you down, or kick you while you are down, but you've gotta remember that, okay? There is nothing wrong with you."

Harley waits a few moments, let's the words wash over him and wrap him in a blanket of warmth, of security and comfort, but there's still one little thing that keeps rearing its ugly head, that's still making him antsy. "But, what if I'm just- overreacting? And I don't actually... y-you know." He finishes lamely, still not ready to completely admit to everything yet.

Tony doesn't seem to mind. "Then that's okay too." He says simply, a bit of shuffling coming through the line. "Kid, how old are you again, like twelve?"

He can hear the teasing in his tone, and rolls his eyes as he huffs out, "Thirteen."

The older man chuckles for a second, before his voice goes back to calm, quiet. "Seriously though, you're thirteen , Kid. You don't need to have everything figured out right away." He snorts, then. "I sure didn't. I think I was a mess at your age, wasn't even thinking about relationships. At least, not long term." There's a pause. "Point is, you don't need to know right now. This might be a fluke, and you might end up liking only girls from here on out. You might end up just liking boys, liking both, or neither, who knows? But you've got time, kid, and that's the key. Give it time . And whatever it ends up being, whatever ends up happening..." His voice softens at the end, a smile prominent in his tone. "It'll be okay. You will be okay."

For the first time all day, Harley finally takes a deep breath. His shoulders finally relax, his body practically melting back into his chair, and a smile grows on his face, warmth blooming in his chest. "...thanks, Tony." He whispers, hoping that the amount of pure, unfiltered gratitude he's feeling can be heard in his tone.

He thinks it can, as there's a hint of embarrassment and awkwardness in Tony's voice as he responds with a simple, "Don't mention it, squirt."

Harley just chuckles at the sudden discomfort of the older man, before his eyes widen. "Oh! While you're here, did I tell you I passed my trig test?"

"Hey! I knew you would, kid, I had no doubt." Harley's grin widens, before he throws himself into another story, feeling warmer, safer, and happier than he has in a while.

A few years later, Tony was getting off of the elevator to his penthouse with a huff, having just gotten back from a rough meeting, when he freezes. His heart warma and a smile grows on his face when he notices Harley, now 17 years old (almost an adult, god he was so old ), curled up into Peter's chest, his face pushed into his neck, seemingly fast asleep. Peter's head rests on top of Harley's, eyes open but hooded, as if keeping them open was getting difficult. They glance over to Tony immediately, though (damn his spider sense and increased hearing), and a faint blush forms on his cheeks even as he smiles lightly, his eyes softening as he glances back down at his boyfriend and presses a firm kiss onto his head. Tony watches the interaction with a soft grin, before quietly stepping away, his chest full of mostly warm, sappy feelings, but also full of pride and joy, knowing his pseudo son is accepted, happy and loved.

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