#and when anyone tried to help me i could only freeze up because i was so terrified of them realizing how stupid and hopeless i was
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Doesn’t anyone else think about poor steve having to live in his house, where he is constantly reminded that he’s a failure. I mean, he graduated and instead of going to college like his parents wanted him to, he just got a mediocre job. I just can’t help but imagen poor Steve arriving home exhausted and his father yelling at him, telling him he has to move out and that he’s just a disappointment for the Harrington name. I imagen Steve keeping a straight face, but then going to his room and just shouting into his pillow, with anger, frustration, and pure rage. I imagine his parents giving him till the end of the year to get out of the house. And even after the starcout fire, his dad wouldn't have mercy on him. While his mother on the other hand, would every month an allowance to help himself to get back on his feet. She would still visit him every now and then, because he was her son after all. She would sometimes invite him for dinner sometimes, but only the times when his father wasn't in town. Steve would be so thankful for his mother, but he was never one to let her know, he was raised in a house where physical touch and emotional conversations were uncharted territory. So instead he would bring her flowers to every dinner and always tried to help out as much as he could.
When christmas arrived, his mom would obviously invite him, with the grandparents and close family. His father was there but he didn’t even go to greet steve. At dinner, an aunt would ask about what he's doing and how his life has been. He told them about having to work at the Family Video store, and how he worked with his best friend, he told them about how he also helps Holly Wheeler with her homework sometimes, he talked about how, yes it wasen’t the best thing in the world, but he was still happy for his job,and how maybe he was considering singing up for community college in Indianápolis next year. His father, who had a little too much to drink, laughed at him and just teased Steve for his so-called ‘Jobs'. Rebeca, Steve's mom, tried to stop him, but he just kept going.
“Giving out movie tickets isn’t a job! Are you kidding me? And other than that, i bet you spend your time with that queer munson , huh? Apperently he comes oftenly to visit you, doesnt he?”
Steve freezed and he became a dear in headlights. He father kept on going anf going, and no one seemed to dare to stop him. That was until he said it.
“Maybe you didn’t get into college because you’re such a f*****!”
Rebeca Harrington stood up and slammed on the table, with a loud “enough” and left everyone, dead silent. But the seconds of silences didn’t last long, as Richard stood up and left the scene. And soon followed steve. He got into is car and just drove.
He went to Eddie’s instead of going home.
Eddie was jewish, meaning he really didn’t do the whole “Christmas” thing. So he knew eddie would be alone and knew that Wayne would work for those who wanted to spend time with family. Steve just went to his trailer and told him everything. Steve always felt comfortable around Eddie, even if he would not admit it to himself. But he just vented. About having to live alone for almost 2 years now, about having the constant fear of being alone, about his father abusing him all of those years before, and about how he couldn't stand looking at her broken mother, who was only trying to get this family back together. He even told Eddie about what his father said infront of everyone. That words he onces used to insults but now the roles were reversed. He told him that he never meant that friendship to go further on, but sometimes couldn't help it. Eddie was just too perfect for him.
Eddie didn’t know how to react. He holds the boy off his dreams in his arms, who is crying and shaking like a child. He just ran his hand through his back and arms, reassuring him that he was okay now and that nothing could hurt him. Even though Eddie was scared too, having Steve next with him made him feel better. So he did what his mom used to do when Eddie was a kid and had a bad night. He took him to his kitchen and got to cooking. This is the only thing Eddie knew how to cook. He opened the freezer and took out a little plastic box filled with frozen berries. He would place them on a little stove and he added sugar and a bit of water. He then mixed it till it was marmalade. Steve who was watching him smiled at his goofiness, and really made him feel better. Then Eddie took out a spoon, filled it with the marmalade and held it in front of Steve, who gladly opened his mouth for the spoon. He ate the whole thing and with an immediate smile he looked at Eddie, who just took a bite with his finger and tasted it.
“A spoonful of sugar, helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way” he said in a british accent like his mom used to do
“Mary poppins?”
“Yeah… it's the only thing I remember from my mom. We would… we would watch mary poppins together, it was her favorite. Every time I cried or even asked for it, she would make this for me. She said that there are only 3 things in the world to cure a broken smile. Sugar, something warm, and the person you most love”
After that, Eddie gave Steve a sleeping edible, gave him one of the many band t-shirts, and another spoon of the warm berry mix he loved so much. Steve went to his bed, and was fast asleep. Eddie instead, he stayed awake reading one of the many books he had. He was right next to Steve, who was snoring softly, which made him laugh. Sleeping Steve somehow made its way to Eddie, and placed his magnificent hair on his chest. Eddie blushed and started playing with it, while he read the stories of Alice in Wonderland.
For the next few weeks, Eddie always went to see Steve, to see how he’s doing and how he’s holding up. Though Steve completely ignored what happened on Christmas, Eddie couldn’t forget it. The sound of Steve's tears really broke his heart, and the fact he was so scared and lived alone, made eddie stay up all night. He had to do something about it. So, in the cold of January, Eddie took his van and drove to the other side of town to see Steve. Even if his van had no warmers, no chains on the wheels, and the roads were covered with snow, Eddie went to see Steve no matter what. Today tho he went up to his loft and opened the door to find Steve with an older woman sitting on the couch.
They all stared at each other, completely lost of what was going on, until Steve cleared his throat and presented it to Eddie, his mother.
Oh… Eddie turned red. He didn’t actually remember steve saying anything bad about his mom, but he did remember about her and his dad being rude to steve, so eddie just went all out to defend steve… or something like that
“You- you bitch! How dare you let your husband shout at your own son! He is the best person I know, and he has a pure heart of gold! This man is nothing but a gift from god, and you just threw him out of his own house, even if he had no job or anything!?! SHAMEFUL! This man SAVED my Life! He even-”
“Eddie-”
“NO steve! She can’t just show up here, and drink your stupid tea and pretend everything is okay! ITs not okay. You show up at my house that Christmas and I had to hold you till you stopped crying because of what your parents did, and now you invite her in, give her tea… and a gift? Why does she have a gift? Oh…”
Steve stands up with pursed lips and an irritated face
“Eddie, my mom came here to apologize for the christmas accident, im handing her the gifts i didn’t have a chance to give to her”
Eddie looked at the elderly woman and then back at her son, and then back at her.
“Oh shit… I’M SO SORRY!” he just went to the couch and sat neck to Rebeca, he holded her hand and apologized “I never meant to say you were a b-bitch, i just thought- and i got confused and i was so angry and i thought you- and i- Shit. im so sorry i never really meant anything that i said and-”
“Eddie” Steve smiled as he looked at his friends “Why don't you get a plate of cookies i have in the fridge”
Eddie nodded and ran to the kitchen. Steve placed his hands on his face, sighed, and sat down.
“He seems… energetic” she smiled
“Yeah, Eddie… he’s- he’s hyper and yeah, im sorry, i didn't know he was coming over,”
“It’s okay” she smiled as she stood up and dusted off her skirt “I'm gonna leave, it seems like you 2 boys, need to catch up”
“Mom-” Steve followed her to the door and before she left she turned around quickly and looked at her son
“He seems like a great guy Steve, He really does care about you” she patted his cheek and left.
“I got the cookies!!”
Steve turned around to look at Eddie with a bowl filled with cookies and one of them in his mouth like a puppy. Steve repeated his mothers words and just dashed to him, grabbed his face and took the cookie from his mouth as he pecked him. He ate the chocolate cookie, as Eddie's jaw was on the floor, dropping the cookie left in his mouth, and Steve kissed him once more.
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when you look at them with love and adoration | ot13
fluff 𐙚 established relationship 𐙚 idol!svt x gn!reader 𐙚 headcanon + dabble
☁️ HIP HOP UNIT
𐙚 seungcheol
tries to act unbothered. key word: tries. you have no idea how the look in your eyes makes him feel - how he instantly melts under your soft and loving gaze, how he would do literally anything for you just because of the way you’re looking at him. he always jokes that he has you wrapped around his little finger, but who are we kidding. plus, we know he tries to act tough and manly most of the time, but cheol is a baby, so he immediately turns into the biggest blushy mess on the planet. besides, it’s so crazy to him that someone can look at him with so much love and adoration, and the fact that he gets to call you his?
[ ☁️ ]
“stop.”
“what?” you laughed, brushing away the hair from his forehead.
“stop looking at me like that,” he muttered, hiding his head in your neck, too shy to look you in the eye.
“like what, hm?” you joked, waiting for the whines, and pouts from your boyfriend.
seungcheol could act all tough as much as he wished, but you knew the real him - the blushy, shy, and adorable him that turned into the biggest puddle in your arms, just from the way you were looking at him.
“i love you,” you heard a quiet whisper, followed by a gentle peck on your shoulder.
“i love you too, my dumbass.”
𐙚 wonwoo
does not know how to act, because how is it possible that he’s suddenly feeling so shy, and… so loved? and just by the way you’re looking at him. but the look, oh the look you have in your eyes. wonwoo isn’t sure it should be even humanly possible to have so much emotion just in your eyes, but yours, yours are filled with so much adoration. you’re looking at him like his the most beautiful thing ever created, and he does not know how to react to something like that.
[ ☁️ ]
wonwoo could see you standing in the doorway to your bedroom from the corner of his eyes. it was weird, because usually you’d come in and stand behind him, sometimes you’d warp your arms around his shoulders or kiss his cheek, but now you were only standing there.
pausing his game, he took off his headset ready to ask you if everything was okay, but he was immediately struck by the look on your face when he turned his head.
“wha- what’s up?” he asked, his voice shaking. why were you looking at him like that. what was going on?
“nothing, i just came to check up on you,” you smiled, tilting your head.
in that moment, wonwoo felt like the luckiest man alive.
𐙚 mingyu
his instant reaction is waddling over to where you’re standing and wrapping himself around you. he knows how much you love him - whether you convey it by your words, actions, touch. but to mingyu, the deepest confession of love is definitely the way you simply look at him. anyone can see the way your eyes are filled with nothing but adoration for the man standing in front of you, and to mingyu that’s the loudest “i love you” you could ever say. nonetheless, he always turns into a big fluff of shyness, and giggles when he notices your love struck expression.
[ ☁️ ]
“baby,” mingyu whined, his lips forming into a sweet pout. “don’t look at me like that,” he mumbled, before setting down the pan, and going around the kitchen island to wrap his strong arms around you.
“i’m just watching you cook, gyu,” you said as a matter of fact with a small smile on your face, like you didn’t just melt his heart, turning him into a whining mess.
you knew exactly what you were doing, and how your boyfriend would react, but you couldn’t help yourself. being with him like that was so… domestic. it made you feel like home.
“i love you, baby,” he said, his voice muffled.
𐙚 vernon
if wonwoo doesn’t know how to act, then i don’t know how i’m supposed to describe vernon’s reaction. no thoughts, just puppy eyes. i doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, vernon always freezes whenever he sees that look on your face. the look that says more than a hundred “i love you’s”, the look that never fails to make his heart beat faster, the look that says “you’re mine forever”. he never comments on it much, because - what is he really supposed to say in a situation like that, but it always, always makes him feel like the luckiest person alive. what he doesn’t know is that whenever you give him a look of pure love and adoration, his eyes are filled with as much affection as yours.
[ ☁️ ]
“should we order the pizza you were talking about last week, or the usual?”
when you didn’t answer him like you immediately would when it came to food, vernon raised his head to make sure you were still listening to him.
“baby are you-,” his voice immediately fell silent when he saw how intently you were looking at him. but it was more than that.
you looked at him like he was the only person in the world you wanted to look at.
the voice in his head tried to explain it by saying that you were actually alone in your apartment, so there weren't many other people for you to look at, but... that look, it was something else.
“yes, vernon?”
“um, the pizza, or the usual?”
☁️ PERFORMANCE UNIT
𐙚 jun
his default reaction is to run and hide. jun cannot fathom how much love your eyes can hold, and adding the fact that he's the one that makes you look like that??? yeah, no, he’s good. he just ends up staring right back at you, eyes big and sparkly, not knowing he looks at you with the same amount of adoration, which just makes you chuckle (seriously, he couldn’t get any cuter). to protect his heart, he’d try to turn the situation around into a joke, but jun would just stumble over his words (adorably) and end up with a big blush on his cheeks, and a shy smile
[ ☁️ ]
"baby?"
jun refused to look at you, not after how he caught you looking at him with that look, no. he would not let you see how shy it made him.
“junnie, please,” you giggled, and cupped his cheeks that were dusted with an adorable blush, which you’d never get tired of. “why won’t you look at me, hm?” you crooked an eyebrow at him.
with his little pout and sparkly eyes, you couldn’t help but smile widely. what did you ever do to deserve such a precious human being?
“stop looking at me like that,” he muttered, as his eyebrows furrowed at your amused expression.
“like what?” you teased.
𐙚 hoshi
starts giggling like crazy - he always gets all smiley when you look at him, but when he catches you with this particular look that says “i love you” so loudly, hoshi just can’t contain himself. he’d skip over to you like a little girl, and hug the shit out of you, while vibrating with love himself. he’s just so happy to have someone that looks at him like that - like he’s their entire world while he’s doing the most mundane things ever, he just has to convey his love and adoration right back
[ ☁️ ]
“kwon soonyoung, what are you doing?” you laughed, as your boyfriend threw his arms around you, not in a gentle way.
you didn’t get a proper response, just a bunch of hoshi sounds - giggles, laughs, and something even you couldn’t understand. the usual.
“i love youuuu,” he said, and even though you couldn’t see (thanks to his not so gentle hug), you could hear the smile in his voice. that was probably what you loved about him the most - you weren't sure whether his next hug would almost suffocate you or whether it would be as delicate as a feather.
after a while, when his sudden burst of love had passed, he grabbed you a little gentler and pressed his cheek to the top of your head, and as you stood there, you couldn't believe that a simple look could cause such a reaction in him.
𐙚 minghao
gets so so so shy. minghao sees himself as a very composed person that’s very in touch with his emotions, and while usually he’s good at hiding his feeling when he has to, the second he catches a glimpse of you staring at him like he hung the stars and moon, he’s gone. he blushes like crazy, immediately turning away from you because you won’t catch xu minghao blushing, suddenly acting like the packet of ramen is the most fascinating thing in the world. poor bub just doesn’t know how else he’s supposed to act (he’d be a bit clingier than usual throughout the day, though, it’s his silent way of saying “thank you”)
[ ☁️ ]
you were in the middle of making a late dinner for you and minghao when you felt two familiar arms wrapping themselves around your waist.
“the dinner will be ready in twenty minutes, honey,” you said, not paying much attention to your boyfriend’s sudden clinginess.
“mhm,” he hummed, and placed his chin on your shoulder, pulling your body closer to his. you couldn’t help but smile - there was nothing better than minghao in teddy bear mode, especially with how gently, but securely he was holding you.
“i love you, you know,” he said, and placed a soft peck on your cheek, nuzzling his face further into your neck.
𐙚 chan
would melt on the spot, and turn into a puddle of love and fluff. he’d look at you with sparkly puppy eyes and a tiny pout, because how dare you to mess with his poor heart like that - no amount of “i love you’s” could ever express how grateful he is for having you in his life, and that he’s able to call you his. chan always gets so cuddly and giggly after catching your lovestruck gaze, it's like his entire being is filled with your love, and you can be damn sure he’d stick by your side for the rest of the day. you’re the best at bringing out the maknae out of chan
[ ☁️ ]
“i love you.”
“i love you too baby, but this is like the tenth time you’ve said that in the last fifteen minutes,” you laughed, brushing away the hair from his forehead. you looked down at your boyfriend who was currently happily occupying your chest, getting his daily dose of afternoon cuddles.
“i know,” he sighed, happiness clear in his voice. “and i’m going to keep saying that.”
you could only shake your head in amusement at chan’s antics, as you fell back into a comfortable silence once again, both of you focused on the show you were watching.
“i love you.”
“lee chan i swear to god!”
☁️ VOCAL UNIT
𐙚 jeonghan
little (shy) gremlin activated because jeonghan will tease you with a hint of a blush on his cheeks (he mostly does that to distract you from how shy your stare made him). but after some snarky (lovingly, of course) comments, he’d just cling to you, and nuzzle his head into your neck telling you how much he loves you. no words could ever express how that look - so full of love and adoration made him feel. it’s just the feeling of being so… loved. yeah, that does things to him
[ ☁️ ]
“what is it jeonghan?”
“nothing,” he said sweetly, not tearing his eyes from you.
you rolled your eyes at your boyfriend’s antics. you weren’t sure what you did this time to deserve his usual teasing, not that it really mattered, but you couldn’t help but get a bit annoyed by him staring so intensely at you.
“you know i love you, right?” he said after a while, just when you thought he’d proceed with his day, and leave you alone. instead he wrapped his arms around you from behind, and put his chin on your shoulder.
you turned your head around, kissing his nose. “i know, honey. i love you too.”
𐙚 joshua
smiles fondly right back at you with the same amount of adoration (to be honest, joshua always looks at you like that, it’s his default setting), but when he catches your lovestruck gaze he just cannot help but scrunch his nose cutely, and smile with just as a smitten expression as yours. from the third person's perspective this might look a bit scary weird, because why are you just staring at each other smiling like that? but you, you are just wrapped up in your little bubble of love
[ ☁️ ]
“do you think we look weird?” you asked, your eyes glued to your boyfriend’s adorable face. you’ve been sitting like this for the last five minutes, looking at each other unable to tear your eyes from each other.
“no?” he smiled, his eyes scrunching cutely.
just a second later the door to the bathroom opened and closed, and coups emerged from the hallway. “um, you guys okay?” he asked, suspiciously.
you and joshua just proceeded to burst out laughing, leaving your friend very concerned, and very confused.
𐙚 woozi
woozi in his woozi fashion tries to act unbothered, but there is no way he could ignore your look full of nothing but adoration. for a second he gets so overwhelmed by the love that’s radiating off of you, because it’s so crazy to him that all of that affection is dedicated to him. jihoon would maybe try to turn it into a joke to hide how shy you made him, or just not comment on your lovestruck gaze at all, but no worries - the image of you and your love filled eyes would stay with him for the rest of the day
[ ☁️ ]
“hey, baby? what is this?” you asked, sliding the piece of paper that looked like it was about to fall apart over to your boyfriend. he looked up from his computer, scanning the paper quickly.
you didn’t mean to snoop around his office at home, you just wanted to clean his mess a bit so he wouldn’t have to worry about it after coming back from work, only you didn’t expect to find what you did.
“it’s just some silly lyrics,” he shrugged. you would’ve believed him if not for the small blush creeping up on his cheeks.
“mhm, sure,” you smiled, knowing exactly who the lyrics were about.
𐙚 seokmin
seokmin has one of the most romantic souls in all of seventeen, so it’s no surprise he always looks at you with the most lovestruck expression, no matter what you’re doing. at this point you’re so used to it that you don’t comment on it anymore, but the situation is so much different when he catches you looking at him with eyes filled with nothing but love. dk’s immediate reaction is to kiss you all over your face with soft pecks, and then bear hug you and tell you how much he loves you. he just has to convey his love right back to you, he can’t let you think that he doesn’t notice how you look at him
[ ☁️ ]
“baby, let me go,” you whined, for the hundredth time, after your boyfriend got one of his love surges when he just had to take it out on you. “no,” he huffed, and kissed your cheek. and again. and again.
you both fell silent for a while, a nice, comfortable quietness surrounding your intertwined forms. “you’re not bothered by me, right?”
you swore you’d kill him one day for thinking he’s a bother. “lee seokmin,” you grumbled, and pinched his arm.
“auch,” he whined, rubbing his arm. “what was that for?” you took that opportunity to untangle yourself from him. “shut up, and kiss me or i swear to god.”
𐙚 seungkwan
boo gets a bit sulky, because how dare you to look at him like that? and what is he supposed to do now? no hugs, kisses or words could ever convey how grateful he is for you. he settles for waddling over to you with a small pout, and sparkly eyes to first - whine “don’t look at me like that”, and second - kiss your cheek and wrap his arms around you. sometimes he thinks he’s not worth enough for you to be looking at him like that - he’s just making a snack, so why are you looking at him so lovingly? at the end of the day, your lovestruck look fills him with so much love and reassurance, and he could never thank you enough for that
[ ☁️ ]
you were used to your boyfriend’s random bursts of affection, but you didn’t expect him to hug you like his life depended on it in the middle of cooking.
“you okay?” you asked, a bit concerned.
“mhm,” he mumbled, his cheek squished against your shoulder. you figured he was just feeling clingy today, not that it bothered you. “i jus’ love you,” he added.
you cooed at him, and turned your head to kiss his cheek.
“i love you too, boo.”
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#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen kpop#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen carat#seventeen reaction#seventeen requests#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#woozi#wen junhui#wonwoo#vernon#svt#seungkwan#dino#svt woozi#mingyu#minghao#hoshi#chwe vernon
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
Chapter thirteen ⭐︎ For a moment, I was heaven struck
Warnings: mentions of smut, mentions of heartbreak and unrequited feelings, mentions of bad parenting, allusions to depression, lots of fluff -- and, angst at the end
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Steve gives you a glimpse of a future you could have with him -- if only things were so simple.
Word count: 13.5k+
Author's note: I'm not really proud of this chapter, but I hope you guys are gonna love this ♡ @hellfire--cult thanks for helping me, lovelyyyy
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter
♡
Sunlight peeks through the curtains of Steve’s bedroom, illuminating the room ever so slightly. The weight on his chest warms him up, the scent that lingers on your hair, and your body is his own, you used his shampoo and bodywash the night before. To know that you smell like him, causes something in his chest to stir.
As he opens his eyes, a smile appears on his face.
Your cheek is squished against his bare chest, your eyes shut tightly as you’re still sleeping deeply. Your arm is wrapped around his waist, your whole body covering his own like a blanket.
His own arms are wrapped around you, his left hand hidden underneath your – his shirt, fingers drumming against your soft skin.
Steve blinks his sleepiness away and he raises his hand up towards your hair, smoothing it out, he runs his fingers through it as he watches you.
This isn’t anything new, you woke up beside him, on him, countless times before, and yet, it still feels so surreal sometimes.
You are still his Blondie.
He is still Steve.
And yet, something has changed, something has shifted.
A sigh falls from your lips, and you only snuggle deeper into his chest, scrunching up your nose a little, before your features relax again.
He brushes some of your hair out of your face, his fingertips graze your cheek and your temple. He begins to twirl your strand around his finger, still smiling as his eyes stay on you.
Memories from the night before start flashing in his mind, causing his smile to grow bigger as he thinks of how you kissed him, how you touched him, how you let him touch you, how you clung to his body.
You got out of his car on shaky feet, your knees nearly buckled when you tried to walk, so he rushed towards you and steadied you with hands on your waist, before he leaned down and hooked his arm around the back of your knees and threw you over his shoulder, you squealed at his actions and hugged his waist tightly, as though he would let you fall. He couldn’t even help himself when he slapped your ass, the whimper that fell from your lips only made him feel more smug, just as the shakiness in your legs did.
You shared another first together, last night. And that feels special and… intimate. It isn’t something that he wants you to do with someone else – he doesn’t want to imagine you with anyone else, at all.
He only wants this, you finding pleasure in him and no one else.
He wants to feel special, he wants to feel needed, and so far, you have been good at making him feel such things.
And he tells himself that this is all it is – pleasure. That the gnawing feeling in his chest, the night before, wasn’t jealousy. That it was only possessiveness that he had felt because he wants you all to himself.
But as he lies in his bed, with you in his arms, snuggled up against him, sleeping on top of him, the way a casual hookup shouldn’t be, and he holds you tightly, even tighter than he held one girl before, his hand freezes in your hair and he stops twirling it, his heart jumps in his chest, and his eyes widen as the panic in him, rushes through him so quickly that it halts his breath in his throat.
And yet, the warmth in his chest feels so alarming, a flame that he thought had died, sparking – even if weakly.
No. No. No.
His mind chants the same word over and over again. But then you stir in your sleep, and he feels your bare legs on his, which are hidden beneath the blanket that covers you both. Your fingernails graze his skin, your lips touch his chest as you turn your head, and then, you lay your palm on the spot, right over his poor heart. An innocent move that makes the spark a tiniest bit brighter, stronger, and his heart beat faster.
‘Well shit’. Steve thinks.
He wants to groan, he wants to roll his eyes at himself and get angry at the weakness that lingers in him, but he can’t, he can’t even be mad at himself, not when he takes a deeper, longer look at you.
What would King Steve think of this?
His opinions don’t matter, they haven’t mattered once, since he let him die. But there was always a part of himself that he hated when he was still very much alive. He hated the thoughts in his head and how his own eyes strayed, even when he didn’t want them to. How his mind took him to where he told himself he didn’t want to be.
King Steve doesn’t matter, his opinions don’t matter – and yet, he can’t help but wonder what his teenage self would think of him now if he saw you in his arms, like this, so closely, so intimately.
He won’t ever find out, but he feels… troubled.
“What time is it?” Your groggy voice pulls him out of his thoughts, and his eyes focus again as they meet your tired ones.
You prop yourself up on his chest, and cover your mouth with your hand as you turn away with a yawn.
Steve’s hand leaves your hair, and he runs it down your back instead as he watches you, the smile never fading. No makeup on your skin, your hair in its natural state, his shirt on your frame, and your features marked with tiredness. You’re adorable like this.
You blink the sleep away, and rub your eyes as you take a look at the alarm on his nightstand. It’s 10 am.
“Good morning, Blondie,” Steve whispers.
“Morning, Steve.”
You roll off of him, much to his dismay. You stretch your arms out and try to do the same to your legs when the soreness hits you, and you register the strong ache between your thighs. A pained whimper falls from your lips and you scrunch your eyes shut again.
“Ouch.”
Steve’s eyes flash with concern as he pushes himself up, he eyes your body and watches the way you press your hand against your inner thigh, whimpering at the pain he caused, the night before.
“I’m going to kill you, Harrington.”
Relief is quick to follow in his eyes, he relaxes as a smirk tugs at his lips.
“It’s a good kind of pain, right Blondie?”
When you open your eyes, you meet his gaze with a glare, causing him to chuckle.
“Shut up, I don’t even know if I can stand,” you mumble as you press your palms against the mattress and sit up slowly.
Steve chuckles again, pride swelling inside of him, knowing that he was the cause of it. He gets up and walks around his room in nothing but boxers, opening one of his drawers to grab a shirt.
“I’ll prepare a bath for you to soak in then,” he says, glancing at you, “it’ll relax your muscles a little.”
Your heart skips a beat as your eyes widen.
You sit up further, still holding onto the sheets as you watch him put a shirt on his body.
“You’re preparing a bath for me?”
“Would you prefer a wheelchair?” He laughs, not noticing the stunned look on your face, as you open and close your mouth a few times. “I’ll be right back, Blondie,” he shoots you a smile before he opens the door, letting light seep into the room from the bright hallway, he takes another glance at you over his shoulder before he steps out and makes his way into the bathroom.
You listen to his movements, ears perking up at the sound of water flowing the bathtub, moments later.
He is really drawing you a bath.
He had never done anything like this before, the most you got was a change of clothes, him letting you use his shower and the spare toothbrush he had in his drawer, but never this.
This is him taking care of you and you can’t stop the smile from appearing on your face. Your heart flutters at the normalcy of all of this, despite how abnormal it is.
Surely, this has nothing to do with feelings, but with him wanting to make it up to you for making your body ache – not that you are complaining, last night was one of the best ones that you had shared with each other.
Despite the soreness in your body, you can’t help but feel heat pooling in your lower stomach, awakening the desire for him that always lingers.
You throw the blanket off yourself and scoot closer to the edge of the bed, furrowing your brows, you try not to groan at the pain in your legs when your feet hit the ground.
You have never experienced anything like this before.
You have never struggled to get up the next morning.
Your legs feel like jelly, and you can’t even squeeze your thighs together, but you push through the soreness. Your knees nearly buckle when you take the first step.
“Jesus…” You murmur, shaking your head.
You never spent much time wondering what kind of lover Steve would be, until he started showing signs of interest towards you. It felt wrong to think of him in such ways when he so clearly hated you.
But if you had to guess, you would’ve thought of him as someone sweet and caring, loving and gentle – and you are sure that he is, just not with you. And it’s okay, it really is. You like the way he touches you, you like how he marks you up, how he manhandles you, how rough and intense he can be. You wouldn’t want it any other way.
And yet, you can’t help but feel saddened to know that you will never experience another side of him – to know what it’s like to be loved by him.
You walk into the large bathroom, to find him testing the water with his hand. The scent of vanilla and cinnamon lingers in the air, the bathtub is filled up high, even with bubbles.
You lean against the doorframe and watch him for a moment, a teasing smile appearing on your face, “huh, who would’ve thought that Steve Harrington likes to take bubble baths – scented ones too.”
Steve scoffs at your words in amusement.
He turns around to face you after closing the tap.
“It’s my mom’s stuff, Blondie,” he chuckles as he takes in the sight of you. Letting his eyes roam your body, the marks on your neck, the shirt that belongs to him, the softness of your skin that he wants to feel on his lips again. The urge to take care of you, now growing stronger than ever.
You have stayed over countless times before, just as he did at your house.
But neither of you ever stayed for long enough, you woke up, you got dressed and the most you have provided for each other was a cup of coffee and small talk.
This is something new, a bubble bath – he had never done this for anyone before, despite how much he dreamed of having someone to take care of and spoil.
“C’mere, Blondie,” he murmurs as he walks towards you, reaching his hand out for your own, he pulls you into him and places his other hand on your waist, “I promise, this will make you feel better.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, your heart yet skipping another beat – if only he knew that it’s always aching for him.
He takes your shirt off, exposing your bare body to him. The spot beneath his touch glowing with heat as he now holds your naked waist with both hands.
Steve licks his lips as he looks down at you, his eyes blinking as they flash with something other than lust. There is a softness in them that you haven’t seen directed at you, ever before, and it makes your breathing stutter.
As the morning sun peeks through the blinds, the golden light kissing every inch of your exposed skin, he takes in the sight of how softly your hair lies on your shoulders, how flustered you look beneath his gaze, how puffy your lips are, how the marks on your neck are more than what you think they are.
His hands leave your waist, though they don’t stray away from you just yet. The tips of his fingers graze your skin. Whether the goosebumps are his cause or the coldness of the bathroom, his lips twitch at that. You look at him with wide eyes and parted lips, he is aware of the fluttering in his chest when he locks eyes with you.
You caught him staring, but for some reason it doesn’t make him want to step back or hide.
You are so devastatingly beautiful.
So beautiful that he can’t help but want to keep staring.
He is stuck in a world between the heavens and the earth, a world where it’s only you and him, where nothing else matters but the string that ties him to you, the string that he always wanted to deny, no matter how abnormally strong it was.
And even now, he is still in denial, he still isn’t there, but it’s slowly becoming harder to stay away from you in a much more intimate way.
“Steve,” you whisper, slowly pulling him back on solid ground.
He blinks, his eyelashes kissing his skin as he slowly awakens from his trance like state. The beating of his heart becomes stronger when he notices the softness in your eyes.
“Yes?” He whispers, squeezing your elbow as he feels the urge to shower your body with nothing but kisses, your bare skin looking so delicate to him.
“I-I’m cold.”
“R-Right,” he murmurs, shaking his head.
Steve steps to the side, and his hands leave your body, but he offers his hand out for you as you step closer to the bathtub. You take it, grasping it tightly as you lift your leg, pushing through the soreness, you get inside and let the warmth embrace your aching body. You sink down into the water, sighing in contentment at the comforting feeling. You slowly let go of his hand, and bring it up to your hair.
“Oh wait, you probably don’t want to get it wet again,” Steve mumbles, as he looks around the room, knowing that you left your hair clip here after your shower last night. He finds it on the counter and reaches for it.
“Oh yeah,” you nod, turning your head, you eye the claw clip in his hand and lift your hand up to take it from him, but Steve only shakes his head.
“Let me,” he whispers as he kneels down behind the bathtub, he gathers your hair and runs his fingers through it, making sure to get all of it, his fingertips touch your cheeks as he reaches for the front pieces as well, only for them to fall back in place.
You swallow harshly as your heart nearly leaps to your throat, his actions making the water feel ten times hotter, goosebumps growing on your skin even beneath it.
“Are you hungry?” He asks, his breath hitting your bare shoulder as he puts your hair up and secures it with the clip – effortlessly.
You’re a little caught off guard by… well everything.
“I-I…” You stutter, unable to form a word, let alone a sentence.
“I’ll go make you something,” he announces, squeezing your shoulders as he gets up again. He looks down at you, lips curling into a smile. You’re still sitting with your back straight, your body now hidden beneath the bubbles, the front pieces of your hair hanging loosely in front of your face, framing it perfectly. You are staring at him, eyes filled with surprise and nervousness. The latter emotion matches his own, he had never done these things for anyone before, not even Nancy.
She was his high school sweetheart, they were barely eighteen when they dated. She wasn’t allowed to stay over, and the few times she sneaked out of her house to do so, she went back home early in the mornings so she wouldn’t get caught, but he could count these few times on one hand.
He never prepared baths for her, he never did her hair, he never made her breakfast, he never touched and kissed her the way he did with you.
And despite the nervousness that is deep inside, he can’t help but feel a little giddy too. Heat rushes to his cheeks the longer he stares at you.
“Okay,” you whisper, blushing as you look up at him with a shy smile, “thank you, Steve.”
He nods at you, his own cheeks glowing with color, “you’re welcome, Blondie,” he winks at you, before he forces himself away from you. He turns around and walks out of the bathroom.
You stare at the door he just closed, your mouth ajar, your eyes wide.
Are you truly awake?
When he held you in his car last night, and he treated you so gently, you were already so caught off guard, but this, this is something else, this is something new, and you don’t know what to think of it.
You don’t want to get your hopes up, but you also don’t want to ruin the moment by overthinking, and hurting your own feelings.
So despite the gnawing feeling in your chest, you take a deep breath and close your eyes, you relax your shoulders and lean back, trying to enjoy this moment without your doubts getting in the way.
You breathe in the sweet scent and sink deeper into the hot water, relaxing as best as you can as you let your mind rest. You let the minutes pass, and enjoy only this moment, not letting your negativenss take over.
Your teenage self would jump and scream in joy if she saw you now.
Not only does he somewhat like you now, he also does things only a boyfriend would and should do, and you can’t help but love every second of it, even when the dark sadness tries to cast shadows over the golden lights that take over, every time you let yourself feel what you desire, deep down.
The water feels nice on your skin, and on your sore body, you almost don’t want to get out, but after a while, your tiredness seeps back in, and you begrudgingly push yourself out of the water, you wrap a towel around your body, and dry yourself off. You drain the bathtub and slide open the window to let some fresh air in, the fog from the heat lingering in the room and on the large mirror.
When you step out into the hallway, your mouth waters and you instantly feel the hollowness in your stomach when the smell of waffles reaches you. You haven’t eaten since your late lunch, the day before, and Steve had worn you out. You are starving.
You quickly make your way into his bedroom, surprised to see the bed already made.
He laid out some clothes for you, another one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers. A smile tugs at your lips, you hold the towel tightly against your chest as you make your way over to his bed. You remove the claw clip from your hair, and throw it on the mattress as you reach for his shirt.
It smells nice, clean, like fresh laundry detergent and still like him. Your heart always skips a beat when you wear something that belongs to him. Removing the towel, you put his shirt on and then his boxers, adjusting them a little so they fit you better. You walk over to his mirror, and take a look at yourself, a gasp nearly falling from your lips as you eye the marks on your neck, somehow they have gotten even darker. You will have trouble covering that up.
You fix your hair and smooth it out, before you leave the room and make your way towards the stairs. You truly underestimated the ache in your legs though, the moment you take the first step down, your knee nearly buckles, causing you to hold onto the railing a little tighter.
You don’t know how you make it to the kitchen, but after walking down in slow motion, you step into the large room slowly.
Steve is standing with his back to you, a plate of waffles before him as he pours batter into the waffle maker. He changed into a pair of gray sweatpants.
Your stomach growls at the sight and the smell of your favorite breakfast food.
He turns around when he sees you from his peripheral vision, a chuckle falling from his lips when he notices the pained look on your face.
“I need a break of two days,” you grumble as you make your way over to the kitchen table, “I’m not even going to suck your dick, your hand will suffice.”
Steve chuckles even louder than before, the smugness in his eyes fading away when he takes in the sight of his clothes on your body.
You groan loudly as you take a seat.
“Two days?” He asks, tilting his head at you, “you’re killing me here, Blondie.”
You raise your head and meet his gaze, glaring at him playfully, “my pussy feels like it’s going to fall off, Harrington.”
He looks down, hiding the smirk on his face, “she had a good time.”
You can’t help but snort.
You crane your neck, looking at the plate before him, excitement flashes in your eyes, “I love waffles.”
“I know you do,” he says, smiling. “What do you want with them, berries and syrup?”
You try to hide the blush that creeps up on your face, you try to swallow the feelings that take control of your body.
"Yes, please."
He nods at you, before he points at the coffee pot, “want some?”
“Mhmm. Creamer and two sugars–”
“I know how you like your coffee, Blondie.”
He doesn’t wait for your reaction, he turns his back to you, and he opens the cupboard, taking out the mug he for some reason always chooses for you, he places it on the counter and starts preparing your coffee.
You blink.
Straightening your back, you place your hands on the counter, fiddling with your fingers as you watch him.
He memorized how you like your coffee?
The fluttering in your chest starts driving you crazy, it’s nothing you’re not used to, but his kindness and the gentleness he treats you with this morning takes everything beyond what you had felt before.
A part of you wants to ask him if he hit his head, if he is mistaking you for someone else, or if the sex was so good that he somehow developed more than just lust for you.
But you don’t want to ruin the moment and risk losing this.
If you were a different girl, you could have this every day.
But you’re you, and you only get this now, maybe it’s a one time thing, or maybe it’s something new in your ‘relationship’, and if it is, you will cherish any moment he will give you, for as long as he is willing to have you.
Steve places the mug in front of you, blessing you with a sweet smile before he returns to finish the rest of the waffles as he pours the last of the batter into the maker.
“Thanks,” you mumble, wrapping your hands around the warm mug, you raise it up to your lips and take a sip.
Steve grabs a plate and begins to fill it up with fruit he already washed and prepared. He places the fresh waffles on the plate and grabs the bottle of syrup, he makes his way over to you, and places the plate in front of you.
You put the mug down and raise your head to look at him, “that looks so good,” you smile, pulling the plate closer and reaching for the fork.
Steve smiles back at you, his chest bubbling with something at the excitement in your features.
He places the syrup in front of you, and returns to the counter to fill up his own plate with berries and waffles. He grabs it and reaches for a jar in his cupboard before he makes his way back to you and joins you at the round table.
“That’s all for you, Blondie.” He points at the stacked up waffles he left on the counter.
“All for me?” You chuckle, before you take the first bite, eying the jar of nutella he placed on the table.
“Gotta get the energy back in you,” he smirks, watching your reaction as you start chewing. He licks his lip, smiling when your eyes widen.
“Oh my god, Steve.” You hold your hand in front of your mouth after swallowing the first bite, looking at him in awe.
“That’s how you sounded last night,” he wiggles his eyebrows.
You shake your head as you look into his hazel eyes, smirking at him despite the flustered look on your face, “I think the waffles are better.”
He raises his eyebrows at you, “oh?”
You nod, taking another bite.
He chuckles at you as he grabs the nutella, he opens the lid and picks up his butterknife. Scooping out some of the chocolate, he starts spreading it on his waffle.
“You eat your waffles with nutella?”
“Yeah, it tastes amazing, Blondie.”
“Does it?” You ask, tilting your head as you pop a berry into your mouth, you watch him. His brows furrow in concentration and his tongue pokes out between his lips. His hair is messy, slightly wavy even. He looks so cute like this. “I’ve never tried that before.”
He raises his head, looking at you in surprise, “you haven’t?”
You shake your head, “no, I don’t even remember the last time I had nutella, Eddie ate like the whole jar I had in my kitchen, he used it as a dip for his pretzels,” you chuckle, “and then he ate the rest with a spoon… I don’t know how he didn’t get sick.”
“Eddie could eat straight sugar, and he wouldn’t get sick, don’t know how he’s still healthy,” Steve chuckles as he cuts a piece of his waffle, he places a raspberry on top of it before he picks it up with a fork and surprises you yet again, when he offers you the bite, bringing the fork up to your mouth.
You nearly choke on the berry you just swallowed.
“Try it.”
Blood rushes to your cheeks, and your heart nearly shoots out from its place.
He surely had never done anything like this before.
Ordering food and offering snacks after sex? Sure. Feeding you food from his plate? Never.
He looks at you expectedly, not even noticing just how flustered you are by such a small and simple action.
You blink, shaking off the nervousness that still lingers deep, you part your lips and lean closer to take the bite, you still look at his eyes and watch how he stares at your lips.
The sweetness of the waffle, the chocolate and the freshness of the berry, burst in your mouth, creating the perfect combination. Your eyes widen, and you sit back as you hold your hand in front of your mouth after releasing the fork from your lips. You moan at the taste and take your time savoring the flavors.
Steve’s lips curl into a smile, his soft eyes stare at you as he brings the fork back to his place, taking a bite of his food as well, he keeps his eyes locked on you, enjoying your presence more than ever, this morning.
Steve always eats his breakfast by himself, it has always been that way.
The few times his parents were home, they didn’t even bother to have family breakfasts, or dinner’s for that matter.
They would go out to have dinner at Enzo’s, and would leave a few dollar bills for him, so he could order takeout – as though he didn’t learn to cook for himself as a teenage boy, but his parents never knew that, and they still don’t. He hadn’t seen them in a while, and the last phone call must’ve been months back.
But he likes this, he likes having you around, he likes sitting at the kitchen table with you, like it’s the most normal thing for the both of you.
“Not to feed your ego, but these waffles are better than the ones at the diner… or even the ones my sister makes.”
He smiles at you, “really?”
“Mhmm,” you nod as you take a sip of your coffee.
“I uh, I tried a few different recipes, took me some time to find the perfect one,” he says, his smile now turning into a shy one, “one time, El showed up, she was all upset about something Mike said or did, poor girl was crying her eyes out. I was confused why she came here out of all places and I honestly didn’t know how to comfort a heartbroken teenage girl, but uh, all it took was some waffles to cheer her up,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.
Your eyes soften, and your heart nearly bursts.
The teens have found a brother in him, and he takes care of them without hesitating to.
He is there for them when they need him, and despite the annoyance he feigns sometimes, he cares so much about them and would do anything to protect them from any kind of harm.
“That’s so sweet,” you whisper, smiling softly.
Steve blushes at your words, his own lips pulling into a soft smile.
“You’re such a mom,” you tease him, nudging your foot against his under the table.
“Last time I checked, I didn’t have a vagina. I think you know that fact pretty well.”
You giggle, and look down at your plate again, picking up the fork, you continue to eat your waffle, unaware of the softness in his eyes.
Steve’s lip twitches, he tries not to look at you for too long, but it gets difficult to keep his eyes off of you, because something in his chest, something in the very sacred spot he had been trying to keep safe opens just the slightest bit, light and warmth seeps into it, filling it with life again, making it move in a pace he had grown unfamiliar to.
The sun shines brightly into the window, light rays hit your skin perfectly, making your skin glow and your hair shine, the color in your eyes shining even brighter.
You sit across from him comfortably, eating the breakfast he made for you, happily. You look content, you look happy to be here, you look like you belong here, with him.
This feels comforting, this feels normal.
But it isn’t, this isn’t normal, and he can’t help but feel disappointed by the truth.
He looks down with a soft sigh, and continues eating too, trying to keep the negative thoughts and emotions at bay, not wanting anything to ruin the moment.
Steve keeps stealing glances at you, not noticing that you are doing the same, not feeling your eyes that always linger.
When you’re both done eating, you push yourself up from the chair, ignoring his confused looks, you gather the empty dishes and stack them up.
“Whoa, no no, put that down,” Steve shakes his head at you, he gets up as well, the chair scraping against the hardwood floor, “you’re my guest, you don’t have to clean.”
“Pfft.” You wave him off, carrying the plates over to the sink, you push through the soreness in your legs, “I want to help.”
Steve sighs behind you, “I can do it myself, you should rest your legs.”
“I’m fine, Steve.”
Steve rolls his eyes, putting his hands on his hips as he watches you.
You get the sponge and dish soap, and Steve nearly starts laughing when you tilt your head away and handle the lever carefully, opening the water slowly, clearly not wanting a repeat of the last time you washed the dishes here.
“I fixed the lever, don’t worry,” he chuckles.
“If you’re lying to me and I’m about to get wet again, I’m gonna fight you.”
Steve laughs, crossing his arms over his chest, “I got different methods of getting you wet now.”
You look back at him over your shoulder, giving him a glare.
He continues laughing, tearing his eyes away from you, he starts cleaning up the table, a smile lingering on his lips.
Comfortable silence hangs over the room, as you both move around the kitchen and clean up together.
You savor every moment with him, not knowing that he is doing the same now too.
“I owe you breakfast,” you speak up, after a while.
Steve wipes down the counter, glancing at you with raised brows, “I won’t say no to that, but you don’t owe me anything, I wanted to do this.”
You press your lips together, leaning against the counter behind you, “yeah, but still.”
He shakes his head with a smile, “nah, let me impress you with all my cooking skills first,” he smirks, making his way over to you, he throws the dish towel over his shoulder, “I can blow your mind with more than just sex.”
You furrow your brows, laughing at his words.
“Oh?” You tilt your head, “and where’d you learn how to cook?”
“My grandpa taught me some Italian dishes when he was still alive. And uh, my parents were never home and I got sick of eating pizza and burgers all the time, so I got myself a cookbook and uh, turns out I’m a pretty decent cook,” he chuckles, shrugging, “it’s the italian in me,” he jokes.
Your eyes widen and you stand up straighter as you walk towards him.
“You’re italian?”
He chuckles at the surprised look on your face.
“My dad’s side of the family is,” he explains.
“Huh, that’s where the charm comes from,” you joke, “can you speak Italian?”
“I’m sorry to disappoint, but the only thing Italian about me are my relatives,” he laughs.
“And your cooking skills,” you point out.
“And my cooking skills,” he smiles, nodding. “I’m gonna knock you off your feet, the next time you stay over, I’ll cook you the best pasta you ever had.”
Excitement bubbles in your stomach and your eyes light up. You can’t even push away the feelings inside of you.
“I’d like that,” you smile.
Steve’s eyes light up, his own smile growing.
“Yeah?”
You nod, swallowing the nervousness inside of you. You know that you shouldn’t get too close, that there are things that you shouldn’t do with him, knowing how it’ll end for you, but you can’t help it, you’re drawn to him, in every way and form.
“Cool, I can finally cook for someone other than the teens then,” he chuckles, as he steps closer to you, his hands now inching closer to yours on the counter.
“What about your parents? Do you cook for them when they’re home?”
Steve scoffs, and he rolls his eyes at the mention of them.
“No, even when they’re home, they aren’t really… home. That one time I tried to cook dinner for them, they ended up leaving on me, gave me some weak apology and told me that they had made plans with friends already.”
Your smile falls at his words. Your eyes soften and the aching in your chest returns, not for yourself this time, but for him.
You can’t imagine what it’s like to have parents that couldn’t care less about you. You don’t have yours anymore either, but only because they were taken from you, they always gave you love, they always cared for you. Steve’s parents are alive, and they want nothing to do with him, they don’t even know half of the things he’s been through.
“I haven’t seen them in a while, it’s nothing new, really. And things are different now, for me at least. But, I felt really alone in this house as a teen,” he explains, looking down. “Sometimes… they were gone for so long, that I even forgot what their voices sound like.”
You look into his eyes, into the sadness that lingers deep in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Steve,” you whisper, wanting nothing more than to hug him, to hold him, to show him that there is someone who he means everything to. Your own sadness casts a shadow over you, but also the anger that you feel for the people who hurt him, that left him. How could they? How could they leave and abandon him? How could they not love him, when he is so easy to love?
You would give him everything if you could.
He scrunches his brows together, forcing a smile onto his lips as he shakes his head at you, “it’s okay,” he murmurs. “I-I accepted that they don’t care about me. I just uh, my dad’s words still hurt sometimes but uh, I’m pretty good at handling my emotions around him now,” he admits, feeling the weight on his shoulders falling off when he says these words out loud, “he’s good at making me feel like I’m nothing though,” he chuckles even though there is nothing amusing about that.
Your blood boils in your veins, your heart no longer beats softly in your chest. You feel the anger rushing through you, as you stare at the man in front of you, a man who was once a boy, left behind to fend for himself, left behind in this huge house that provided no comfort when he needed it, no love, no warmth, no one to hug him and tell him just how loved he is, how strong and brave he is for going through darkness.
He stepped into an empty house after fighting against evil.
He stepped into an empty house after getting his heart broken.
He had no one to come home to.
He had no one to greet him with open arms and a warm meal, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen.
And when they were there for once, he probably thought that walking into an empty house would’ve been better.
He is surprised to see the anger in your eyes, the downturned lips and the frown on your pretty face.
“It’s not okay,” you shake your head stubbornly, “they shouldn’t have left you, and they shouldn’t have treated you like that, they– they don’t deserve you,” you mumble and tilt your head down to hide the truth in your face, too scared that he will see right through you in this moment of weakness. “Your dad doesn’t deserve you, none of the people who hurt you do.”
Steve’s hazel eyes soften, his lips part, but no words come out.
He knows that your words are mainly about his family, but also about someone else who hurt him deeply, who left a huge wound in his heart, a mark that hasn’t faded yet.
There is a sense of vulnerability behind your voice, something that he only heard once, when you opened up to him, that one night. He watches the way you hide your face by keeping your eyes on the ground, but even then, he can see just how angry you are, and it makes him furrow his brows in confusion.
Why would you be so upset by him getting hurt?
Why would you care so much when you’re nothing but friends now?
“You’re–” you pause, as a shaky breath falls from your lips, and you slowly look up at him, staring into his soft eyes. You feel nervous to even utter the words that are about to come out of your mouth, but this doesn’t have to give away anything, this is you being a caring friend. “You’re too good for them, Steve, and you deserve so much better than what you’ve been given.”
His breath hitches in his throat, his eyes begin to burn as he takes in your words, he blinks and swallows harshly, trying to keep his calmness, when your eyes meet his again and he sees nothing but the truth in them. You weren’t just saying this to make him feel better, you weren’t trying to give him false comfort.
Now he is the one to hide his face from you, not wanting to show just how much you have touched his feelings. Your words cast a light over the deep lingering pain in his chest, he knows it won’t stay there forever, the light, but it’s enough to make his walls crumble.
In this very moment, Steve’s feelings go beyond desire, and he feels a longing of a different kind, one that he had never felt before, and it scares him, because it’s you, it’s still you. And yet, he can’t help but want to let himself fall into your arms, feeling like it could be a place of comfort and more.
And he wants to, he really wants to, but he can’t.
This isn’t a part of the deal.
He can’t hold you, he can’t find comfort in your arms, this isn’t what it’s supposed to be.
So, despite the longing in his chest, the deep feeling in him, the want and need to do something, he blinks out of his stupor, shaking away all the thoughts and feelings, he pulls his hand away from yours that he almost touched, he looks at you again, and gives you a small smile.
“Thank you, Blondie,” he whispers, “I appreciate that.”
I appreciate you.
“Don’t need to thank me, Steve,” you whisper.
You look over his shoulder, the clock on his wall almost startling you when you read the time.
“Oh wow, I uh, I should go home,” you mumble, not wanting to leave, but not wanting to stay longer and risking losing your dignity by revealing more than just your anger for the people who harmed his feelings.
You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump, the way he almost looks sad at your words.
“Yeah uh, I’ll drive you.”
“It’s fine, I can walk–”
He snorts and tilts his head at you, eyes flashing with amusement again, “can you?”
A laugh falls from your lips, you step away from him, rolling your eyes as you shake your head.
“Come on,” he places his hand on your shoulder, and he leads you out into the hallway.
“Are you still hosting movie night?”
“Uh huh. So, I guess you’re staying another night here,” he winks at you, squeezing your arm.
“I told you, I need some time to recover.”
“We don’t have to fuck, Blondie. You can let me eat your pussy though, it’ll help her recover.”
You scrunch your face up at his words, slapping his chest, you take a step away from him, “I never thought that you’d be such a perv.”
He chuckles behind you.
You look around his hallway, tucking your hair behind your ears, you furrow your brows, “wait, I don’t have shoes.”
“Yeah, we left them in the car last night,” Steve mumbles as he puts on his Nike's, “don’t think they’d suit that outfit very well anyways,” he laughs, pointing at his clothes on your body.
You pout as you turn around to face him, looking down at yourself, “wow, this is the real walk of shame.”
Steve’s eyes crinkle as he laughs again. He picks up his keys, and walks towards you, turning his back to you, he bends down, “hop on, princess.”
You purse your lips and stare at him with widened eyes.
The nickname might’ve been a mocking one, and yet it did everything to make your cheeks heat up and your stomach to make summersaults.
“Well, come on,” Steve waves his hand at you, motioning for you to get on his back.
You swallow and step closer, you slowly bring your hands up to his shoulders, sliding your palms down his chest, you make a little jump and bite back the groan that threatens to fall from your lips, the soreness in your legs seemingly getting worse and worse.
Steve grabs your thighs and rises back to full height, his lips curl into a smile when you wrap your legs around his waist.
“Good?” He asks, squeezing your thigh.
“Mhmm.”
“Good,” he nods.
He opens the door, and steps out, keeping his left hand on your thigh, he reaches his right hand out to shut the door.
“I got it,” you mumble, reaching for the doorknob, you close it as you keep your hold on him.
The summer breeze feels welcoming on your skin, the smell of flowers and grass lingers in the air. You look up and find no cloud in the sky, only the blue and bright sun.
Goosebumps arise on his skin where your breath hits his neck, his stomach fluttering when you tighten your legs around him.
He almost doesn’t want to let you go, but the journey to his car is a short one. He walks over to the drivers side first, unlocking it with his key before he makes his way over to the passenger side, he opens the door for you.
“Can’t remember the last time I gave someone a piggyback ride,” he chuckles, “probably when I was twelve, my little cousin would beg me for them.”
You giggle, squeezing his shoulder as he kneels down and steps closer to his car, so your feet won’t have to touch the rough ground.
“Well, I’m glad to be the first after so long,” you chuckle, you let go of him and place your hand on the head rest.
“Careful with your head,” Steve says with a soft voice as he puts you down.
You pull your legs back and scoot back, placing your feet down into the car.
“Okay, I’m good, thank you.”
Steve turns to face you, “ready to go?”
You nod.
“Alright, Blondie,” he gives you a tight lipped smile and taps the roof of his car before he closes the door.
You reach for the seatbelt, buckling it in as you take a deep breath, though instead of exhaling again, you freeze and your eyes widen. The smell of sex still lingers deeply in the car.
Blood rushes to your cheeks, the anger you felt in the kitchen only moments ago, now fading and transforming into embarrassment as you grow flustered.
You turn around and take a look at the backseats, the mess that you both left behind, only making you blush even deeper.
Steve gets into the driver's seat, jingling with the keys, he puts them into the ignition and fastens his seatbelt, before he glances at you.
You play with your fingers, coughing awkwardly as you look at anything but him. You are blushing.
It doesn’t take him long to realize why you are so flustered, and he can’t help but smirk at you. He grabs the steering wheel, and leans closer to you.
“Getting shy on me now?”
With narrowed eyes, you turn towards him as you cross your arms over your chest.
“Couldn’t you have taken five minutes to clean up a bit?”
His smirk only widens, eyes flashing with pride.
“You needed a shower and a bed, priorities Blondie,” he shrugs.
“Uh huh…” You turn around again, daring to take another glance at the mess, “also, my thong should be somewhere around here… You literally dragged me inside, full commando.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll find your thong,” he chuckles, starting the car, he rolls down the window.
“You better, Lego Head.”
You relax into the seat, and turn your head away from him, looking out the window, you appreciate the warm feeling of the sun on your skin, and the sound of music filling the space between you.
Hungry like the wolf starts playing, and you almost want to chuckle at the irony – the song resembles the part of Steve you met last night.
“Always some Duran Duran song in your car.”
Steve nods, placing his hand on the back of your headrest, he looks over his shoulder as he backs out of his driveway. He glances at you with a grin, “yep, they’re great.”
He gives you a wink as he turns up the volume, he grabs the gearstick, and starts driving down the road, puckering his lips slightly as he starts headbanging along to the music, not bothering to move the hair out of his face when it falls in front of his eyes.
You can’t help but giggle when he starts singing along to the music.
Your heart flutters wildly, and you bite down on your lip as you watch him.
You realize something in this moment – his guard is down, right here, right now, he lets you have a glimpse of what he is like, when he’s relaxed, when he’s not hiding himself away from the world, when he isn’t too ashamed to show this side of him. He is willing to show a part of himself to you – someone he couldn’t even bare to be around, only months back.
And you cherish this moment, smiling brightly at the person you adore with all your heart.
You know that you will remember this, you just hope that it won’t be a painful memory.
You don’t want to get out of the car when he parks it in front of your house, you would love to keep driving around town with him, even without talking, you just want to be near him, you want to be with him, any moment he gives you with him.
But you have to go, and knowing that you will see him again later, brings you peace.
You see the way he looks at your lips when you say goodbye, you see the way his eyes flash with something your mind cannot comprehend yet, you see the way he lifts his hand up before he hesitates and wraps it around the steering wheel again. You see it all, and yet, you are still so blind about it.
He offers you another piggyback ride to your house, but you decline with a smile and give him one last goodbye before you get out of his car, and your bare feet touch the cobblestone. You bite back the groan, ignoring the pain in your legs, you shut the door and start walking, not feeling, not seeing his amused eyes as they follow your limping legs.
You make your way up to your porch, and unlock the door. You step inside and turn around.
Steve’s car is still parked in your driveway, his left arm hanging out of the window, he lifts his hand up, waving at you.
A smile tugs at your lips, he waited for you to get inside. You lift your hand up as well, waving back.
The moment he starts backing out of your driveway, you close the door and lean your back against it, not noticing the breath you are holding.
You press your palm against your racing heart, and let all your emotions run through you, as your mind races with thoughts about everything that happened this morning and the night before.
You’re caught in a storm of your own feelings, you don’t even know what to feel, at this very moment.
There are so many things to process.
Steve’s jealousy and how he reacted to Jacob.
The possessiveness he had felt over you, and how eager he was to prove to you that he is the only one that you need.
The gentleness that followed after, that followed into this morning, even.
He trusted you enough to talk about his parents, to open up about his loneliness and the sadness that still lingers.
You bury your face in your hands, and let out a loud sigh as you feel sadness and anger combining themselves inside of you.
You throw your head back against the door, and you take another deep breath.
You need to rest, not only your mind, but also your aching body, so you push yourself away from the door, and take a look at the stairs, frowning at the many steps you would have to take to get to your bedroom.
You choose the closer room, and make your way into the living room instead.
The big couch looks welcoming, the comforting pillows luring you in for a nap. You glance at the clock on the wall, it’s only 3pm, you still have time before you need to start getting ready.
Grabbing the remote, you turn on the TV, and plop down on the couch, sinking into the pillows and hoping for your mind to give you some rest, at least until you see him again.
You put on some show to watch, but your eyes don’t stay focused for long, sleep begins to lull you in, putting both your mind and body at rest as your eyes slowly close.
-
You end up running late, because of your stupid decision not to set an alarm – and because you may or may not have used your sweet time getting ready, always wanting to look perfect for him, always wanting to smell good and your skin to be smooth.
You also needed some time to figure out how to cover the marks up on your neck, which turned out to be a challenge. Foundation and concealer lies on your skin now, and yet you can still see through it.
Steve greets you with a smug smile and a wink, he eyes you up and down hungrily before he lets you in, not even questioning why you’re an hour late, the tiredness in your eyes is a dead giveaway.
The smell of smoke lingers in his house, the door to his backyard is wide open, and you find Eddie standing behind Steve’s grill, talking to Jonathan and Nancy.
You hear Robin’s and Argyle’s voices coming from the kitchen, but the sight of the teens is missing.
“What happened to movie night?” You ask, and turn to face him, “and where are the teens?”
“They canceled on us,” Steve chuckles, looking around the empty hallway, before he steps closer to you, “some movie came out that they really wanted to see.”
“Oh–”
Steve wraps his arm around your waist, surprising you by pulling you into his chest, he slides his palm down your lower back.
Your eyes widen a little as you look into his, the smell of his cologne lingering on him and his clothes, his hair is perfectly styled again – perfect to be ruined by your hands.
“Steve,” you whisper as your cheeks heat up.
“Are you feeling okay, Blondie?” He asks, hand coming to a rest over the pockets on your jean shorts.
No, no you don’t feel okay when he does things like this.
“Mhmm,” you nod.
The look in his eyes is a smug one, his lips are curled into a satisfied smirk when he takes a look at your neck – his touches and glances are already setting your skin on fire, and you have only arrived.
His hand leaves your body, and he steps away from you when the sound of footsteps near the hallway.
You clear your throat, and turn your face away from him, just as Robin comes out of the kitchen, plates and glasses. Her eyes light up at the sight of you.
“Oh, hey!” She grins at you, “are you feeling better today?”
You nod, feeling bad about lying to your friends – but when have you ever been honest?
“Much better.”
“Good, I’m glad,” she nods, “we decided to do a barbecue instead of movie night, so I hope you’re hungry.”
“Very, I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”
Steve smiles beside you – something that Robin doesn’t notice, despite the very deep curiosity that still lingers inside of her when it comes to Steve’s secret.
“Come on, we set everything up already,” Steve says with a soft voice as he gestures to the backyard.
“Yeah, Argyle is attempting to make cocktails.”
You give them both an apologetic smile, “I’m sorry I didn’t help, I passed out on the couch earlier and forgot to set an alarm.”
“Nah, it’s fine, Blondie. You needed your rest,” Steve mumbles, giving you a sly smirk that he hides from his best friend.
“Yeah, and we had enough hands to help out!” Robin smiles, “it was spontaneous anyways!”
She is so unaware of the meaning behind Steve’s words, and you are glad that she is.
“I’ll make sure to make it up with some dessert next time,” you chuckle.
You all step out into his backyard, the evening sun is hidden behind all the trees surrounding his backyard. The round table is almost fully set up with food, the mouth watering smell of barbecue makes your stomach growl.
Robin places the drinks on the table.
Steve taps your shoulder, and he leans closer to you, “take a seat, your legs are still shaky,” he teases, giving you a wink before he steps away from you, “I’m gonna get the drinks, I’ll be right back.”
You breathe in shakily.
You already know that Steve will tease the life out of you tonight.
And you don’t know if you have the strength to tease him back at all.
“Oh hello there, sweetheart.” Eddie grins at you, making his way over as he carries the tray of grilled meat, he walks past you and places it on the table, before he turns back to you.
“Hey, Eddie,” you smile as you eye his hair, he put it up today.
“How are you?” He asks, tilting his head.
You don’t know what it is, but something about his smile and the look on his face, is almost a little unsettling.
“I’m uh… I’m good, how are you?”
“Mhmm, I’m good too. You know, I was kinda worried about you, last night. You just disappeared.”
Guilt settles into the pit of your stomach, and you break eye contact, hating that you have to lie to your best friend just to keep him.
“Yeah uh, I’m sorry,” you mumble, scrunching your nose, “I-I was feeling sick, Steve drove me home.”
Eddie raises his eyebrows, “ah Steve, huh?”
You swallow, the nervousness inside of you growing.
“Yeah,” you nod, and look back at him.
A knowing look resides in his dark eyes, he squints them a little, like he always does when he tries to look into your mind.
And there is something else, something that makes you feel exposed and vulnerable, you don’t know what it is, but it does nothing to ease the nervousness inside of you.
Maybe you’re looking too deeply into something that isn’t even there.
Maybe you just try to focus on something other than your troubled feelings.
Or maybe, you’re just overthinking because you are so scared of getting caught, knowing that things will end, the moment everything is out in the open.
But, Eddie eases your mind a little, when the playfulness returns in his eyes, “I just don’t want Steve to steal my best friend.”
You nearly breathe out a sigh of relief, you laugh and shake your head, “don’t worry, Lego head’s got nothing on you.”
“Exactly, we’re best friends forever,” he grins, throwing his arm around you, “we should get matching bracelets.”
You snort.
“So everyone knows that I got the coolest best friend.”
“Sure, Eddie,” you chuckle, patting his back as he leads you to the table, and you both join Robin, taking the seats beside her.
She’s holding a bottle of ketchup, a concentrated look resting in her eyes as she reads through the ingredient list.
“Wow, do you guys wanna know what’s in this?” She asks, looking between you and Eddie.
He furrows his brows, and scratches the back of his neck, “uh, not really,” he mumbles, giving her a weird look, before he glances at you, causing you to chuckle again.
Nancy and Jonathan greet you, she gives you a kind smile, while Jonathan gives you a lazy one and a very slurred ‘hello’.
Your eyes follow Steve’s, once he and Argyle step out of the house, and join you all at the table.
Steve takes the seat next to Eddie, and you can’t help but turn your head to look at him, though your eyes get stuck on something else – the bright pink scrunchie that holds Eddie’s curls together. It looks like one of yours, one that has gone missing, only days after you bought it on your first shopping trip with Nancy.
She has the same one, only a different color, but hers is in her hair, and yours is… in Eddie’s hair.
“You stole my scrunchie!” You gasp, frowning at Eddie, who’s in the middle of filling his plate with food.
He glances at you with an amused look in his eyes.
“Oops,” he shrugs, grinning.
“You thief!”
“Well, you have my bandana! I get to have something of yours!”
“My pink polka dot scrunchie? That’s what you chose!?”
He chuckles and nods, “yes, and it gives an edge to my outfit, don’t you think?”
Your lips curl into a smile, you roll your eyes at your best friend.
“Uh oh, first fight between the best friends!” Argyle jokes, “gotta bring out the palmtree delight, my friends!” He picks out a joint from his pocket.
Steve laughs at Argyle, and at your interaction with Eddie. He leans back to look at the pink scrunchie in his hair, furrowing his brows, he shrugs at him, “I think it suits you.”
“Thanks Harrington, I’m glad that one of my friends thinks so.”
Robin clears her throat, tilting her head at him, “Eddie, it’s– it’s pink and well–”
Eddie presses his palm against his chest, glancing at her with offense on his face, “are you telling me that I can’t wear pink, Buckley?” He gasps, closing his eyes, “that is absolute discrimination.”
You laugh at his dramatic words, you lean closer to him and place your hand on his shoulder, “it’s okay, Eddie. You can keep it.”
He drops his act, and opens his eyes again, giving you a smile, “well thanks, sweetheart, I promise, I won’t leave it laying around somewhere.” He winks at you, and glances at Steve, for a very brief moment.
The night goes on, the way it normally does, you fall into conversations, you eat and drink, you laugh and share stories.
The longing feeling in your chest always stays, and your eyes keep moving back to him, it isn’t anything you aren’t used to, and sometimes it’s even a pleasant feeling when you find him looking back at you.
But you also cherish these moments, spending time with people you can now call friends. A circle you never thought, would even be possible for you to have.
The Upside Down is now in the past, the events from the horrific night, now long gone – and yet, you all still stick to the weekly group hangouts.
It has become something very important to all of you – this friend group has become something so special. And you love it, but it scares you, it scares you so very deeply, because of the someone that holds your heart in the palm of his hand.
You know that you will lose them, that you will lose this, that you won’t have this group of friends forever, no matter how much you would like it to stay a part of your life.
The moment this thing between you and Steve will be over, you won’t only lose him, you will also lose them, and that realization feels like a punch to your gut.
You have no family, you’ve been alone for years now, and it has been the worst years of your life, you were lonely and hurting deep inside, but the past few weeks, have been one of the best ones, you have never felt more alive, more happy, despite the sadness that always looms over your heart.
But the happiness isn’t here to stay, it’s only temporary, it’s only here for the moment, it’s only here for as long as he is willing to keep you.
The moment he closes the door, you will be left a worse mess than ever before.
-
Eddie watches you.
Eddie watches as you move around Steve’s kitchen as though it’s your own, cleaning plates and putting them away, while Steve is wiping down the table outside.
Everyone has left, everyone except for you and him.
He is sipping on his coke, his eyes not straying away from you as he watches curiously.
Steve walks back inside, he shuts the sliding door and turns off the lights in the backyard, before he joins you both in the kitchen. He glances at him as he brushes past him, carrying the last two glasses, he places his hand on your shoulder as he puts them into the skin.
“Eddie, you uh, you don’t have to stay back and clean,” Steve mumbles, turning back to him.
Eddie chuckles.
“Clean? Just want to stay a bit longer with my friends,” he shrugs, looking back at you, “with my best friend in particular.”
He sees the way you freeze, the way you slowly turn back to him with a frown on your face.
“What?”
He puts down his drink, and gets up from the barstool.
Without a single word, he motions for you both to follow him, unable to keep things to himself any longer.
You both hesitate, but follow him, after a moment, giving each other confused looks when he leads you upstairs and into Steve’s bedroom.
He stops in the middle of the dark room, Steve switches the light on, and he shakes his head at the metalhead, pure confusion takes over his face when Eddie smiles smugly at the both of you.
“See… I lied a little bit before,” he starts, taking a deep breath, “I didn’t steal your scrunchie.”
Eddie almost wants to laugh at the comical frown on your face, and how you throw your hand up to point at his hair, while Steve looks at you.
“What the fuck do you mean!? It’s in your hair, Eddie!”
He nods, scoffing slightly as he starts to take it out, letting his hair fall loose around his face, “well you see, I didn’t steal it, rather, I found it. Right–” He pauses as he walks over further into Steve’s room, turning away from the both of you, he slams the scrunchie on the dresser and turns back, the smile now missing, “--Here.”
You freeze, completely.
You don’t even feel the fear rushing through you, or the shock that grips at your body, you stare at Eddie dumbfounded.
The feelings inside of you earlier, weren’t for nothing, after all.
He knows.
He knows everything.
He found out about you both, he found out because you weren’t careful, because you were dumb, because you made a stupid mistake.
Steve blinks.
Blood rushes to his cheeks and raises his hands up at Eddie, shaking his head, “okay listen, this isn’t–”
Eddie raises his eyebrows at him, and somehow that’s enough to make Steve shut up – for a second.
Steve huffs, lowering his hands to his hips, he takes a deep breath.
“We are not – look, this is just coincidence.”
“Right!” Eddie spits in a rough voice, nearly yelling as he glares at the both of you, “like the coincidence of you two not being able to hang out at the same time on some nights where we are all together? Coincidence of you–” he points an angry finger at you, “having hickeys all over you, and you–” he moves his attention on Steve, “having scratches on your fucking arms and back!”
He shakes his head again, and glances at you, “coincidence like last night, when I thought that you left with Jacob only to find out that you left with Steve – oh, oh! And not because you were feeling sick! You two have been screwing around and coming up with the shittiest dumbest lies, I mean Heidi and Chandler, are you fucking serious?”
You look down, hiding your face from your best friend.
You feel ashamed for lying to him.
You feel scared to lose him now.
Steve is quiet beside you, looking like a deer caught in headlights as he stares at Eddie.
“You are both so goddamn obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t figure this shit out before!” He laughs in disbelief. “You always look like you’re ready to jump each other’s bones – jesus christ.”
“Dude,” Steve sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “it’s just, we uh, we wanted to keep this a secret but uh… guess we should’ve been more careful.”
Eddie throws his arms up, looking between you bewildered, “uh huh, so you went from hating each other to being lovesick, horny idiots?” He snort, not quite believing what he’s seeing, what he’s hearing, “so, are you two gonna keep lying, or finally admit to me that you are dating?”
Your eyes widen, and your head snaps up, your lips parting in surprise.
“Dating?” Steve scoffs, chuckling a little as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Fuck no, it’s just sex.”
Eddie opens his mouth again, but his words get caught in his throat when he glances at you, and sees the look on your face, the pained frown, the sadness in your eyes and the way the tension in your shoulders falls. You lower your head, and stare blankly at the floor, not saying a single word.
He had seen you like this before.
He had seen this sadness before – that night when Steve had lost his temper, and he hit you with harsh words.
I would be surprised if anyone ever loved you at all.
Oh.
Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, the realization that floods through him, isn’t easy on him when he sees just how hurt you are by Steve’s words.
There is only one lovesick person in this room, and it isn’t Steve.
He nearly wants to growl at him, slam him against the wall and tell him to stay away from you.
“Look, we’re just having fun, and we didn’t want this to get in the way of things… so… it’s just between Blondie and I,” Steve shrugs, unaware of the anger that boils inside of the man before him. “We’re causing no harm.”
Right, no harm at all.
It’s only your heart that he’s breaking.
Eddie doesn’t even need the confirmation, he can read you like an open book.
“Right?” Steve nudges your shoulder.
You nod, “right.”
“So uh… I think it should stay between us,” Steve points between you and himself, not seeing the look on your face, not seeing the look on Eddie’s face. “And uh, it’d be nice if you kept this to yourself.”
“Uh huh,” Eddie nods, clenching his jaw.
He can tell that you don’t want to be here anymore, that you’re getting restless as you begin to bounce your knee and to blink quickly.
You want to go, and Eddie does too – or else he will do something that he will come to regret.
“Yeah well, you keep doing your thing then,” Eddie mumbles, unable to look at him for longer than a second, before the anger worsens, “I don’t know how I feel about this, but uh, it’s none of my business. Just please stop lying to me.”
Steve runs his fingers through his hair, sighing, “yeah, sure.”
“I should go now,” Eddie mumbles, and he glances at you again, pointing his finger at your face, “and you’re coming with me.”
He gives you a stern look, one that stops Steve from asking any questions, from asking you to stay.
Eddie doesn’t want to leave you with the guy, that is clearly hurting you. He might not know it, but Eddie isn’t blind, and he knows that you staying here won't end well tonight, because the pain in your features is way too visible, and he can tell that you don’t want Steve to see, by the way you're hiding your face from him.
Eddie blinks, not realizing that he is still glaring at Steve, his protectiveness growing stronger in him.
“Alright, let’s go,” he mumbles.
“Yeah,” you sigh, turning around, you keep your head low, “bye Steve.”
He watches you both closely, the way you quickly make your way out of his room and into the hallway, hurrying down the stairs like you’re running away from something – like you’re running away from him.
And Steve, he opens his mouth as his eyes follow you, but he shuts it again, his throat bobs as he swallows. His shoulders fall and a sigh falls from his lips.
Eddie steps closer to him, and Steve turns to face him, he raises his brows at the warning look in Eddie’s deep brown eyes.
“I’m going to kick your ass if you hurt her, Harrington.”
Steve has never been afraid of Eddie – well, maybe those two times when he slammed him against the wall.
“It’s just sex, Munson,” he says, with an unsure tone in his voice, and a bitter taste on his tongue, that he swallows harshly. “Nothing more.”
If Eddie wasn’t so focused on your feelings and on the anger in him, he would’ve seen something other than lies in Steve’s eyes.
“Mhmm, right.” Eddie nods, and steps away from him. “Well, good night.”
He wants to stay longer, to interrogate him further and find out more, but talking to you is more important to him now, so he follows you, hoping that you didn’t make a quick escape already.
But he finds you in the driveway, with your arms crossed over your chest, you lean against your car as you wait for him.
Eddie approaches you slowly, not needing to make up his mind about what question to ask first – it already lies on the tip of his tongue.
You drum your fingers against your elbow, your knee still bounces, your chest heaves up and down heavily.
No words are spoken when he finally halts in front of you, the only sound between you both is your breathing, the wind rustling in the trees and the crickets.
You look at Eddie through your lashes, nervous to even say a single word.
He pities you in this very moment, because he knows how you feel.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“What?” You ask in a small voice.
“When were you going to tell me that you’re in love with Steve?”
You draw back, and your eyes widen.
You knew that he would confront you, but you didn’t expect him to confront you like this.
Your heart drops to your stomach, as the lump in your throat grows.
“I-I…” You stutter, shaking your head at him as you search for words in your mind, for lies to feed him, so your heart can rest, but your mind is empty, the lies are gone, and all you can do is panic as your eyes start burning, “I don’t… I’m not…” You can’t even utter those words, you can’t even lie to save yourself, you can’t even say that you aren’t in love with him, because saying that, would hurt more than this reality.
And yet, you still want to deny, but all you can do is shake your head.
Eddie’s eyes soften, he sighs when he sees just how much pain there is in your glassy eyes.
Eddie knows that there is more, much more.
These feelings aren’t newfound, these feelings are so very deep, these feelings are years old.
He licks his lips, and takes a deep breath.
“That’s why you jumped into the lake with no doubt, that’s why you grabbed him at the hospital, that’s who you got all dressed up for at Hopper’s and Joyce’s party,” he pauses as his face saddens, “that’s why you looked like the world fucking collided when he said it’s just sex.”
A tear falls from your eyes, and slips down your cheek.
Your bottom lip begins to quiver in fear, knowing that this very fragile thing between you and Steve, is now even more frail than before.
You’re a little shocked by how perceptive Eddie is of you, just how Billy was.
He takes a step closer to you, bringing his hand up to your shoulder, hoping to bring you comfort.
“Eddie,” you whisper with a trembling voice as you look into his eyes through your blurred vision, “p-please don’t tell anyone… I-I will lose him if the others find out. And this is the only way I can have him.”
Eddie’s heart breaks for you, the desperation in your eyes and your voice, your words showing him just how deep your feelings are.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he sighs, tilting his head, “for how long?”
You hesitate, not knowing how to save yourself from this humiliation.
But, Eddie’s eyes are filled with kindness, you know that he won’t judge you.
You breathe in shakily, another tear rolls down your cheek, but you quickly raise your hand up to your face, and wipe it away.
“Since we were teens…”
Eddie’s eyes widen, his lips part in shock.
The revelation isn’t something he expected at all.
He knows how Steve treated you, he knows how awful his words were, sometimes. – He knows that King Steve never once bit his tongue, the presence of his friends only made his words more cruel.
He fell victim to it, and you did too.
Neither of you hesitated to bite back though, and Eddie always tried to brush his words off, you always acted like you did too. – He wasn’t your friend in high school, but he was no stranger to seeing you bicker with King Steve during classes or in the hallway. He was always impressed by your witty words, and your funny insults.
He could’ve never guessed that you were wearing a mask, that those words were only weapons to defend yourself with, to hide behind them, to keep your true feelings a secret.
You were so good at acting like you didn’t care, like Steve was someone you hated, like your heart didn’t break, every time you faced him.
“Oh my god,” he whispers, sadly.
You shake your head, and huff at yourself. You raise your hand towards your face, waving it as a pained chuckle falls from your lips, “you must think I’m pathetic,” you murmur, rolling your eyes, the tears still deeply visible, “falling for a guy who fucking hated me for years? That’s just… I’m setting myself up for failure.”
Eddie can tell that you are trying not to break down while you’re still here, still in Steve’s driveway, where he could see you at any given moment.
“You’re not pathetic,” he frowns, squeezing your shoulder, “we don’t choose the people we fall in love with, it’s not in our control.”
And if it was, you still would’ve chosen him.
That makes you pathetic.
“I am pathetic. If I had some dignity, I wouldn’t do this with him. I shouldn’t do this with him, I know how it will end, Eddie.”
“Don’t talk down on yourself,” he mumbles, glaring at you. “Shit, I don’t even blame you, I would’ve done the same thing if I was in that situation.”
You breathe in shakily, blinking fastly as you feel your breakdown approaching.
“I-I just, I wanna go home, right now. I can’t–”
“Hey,” Eddie whispers softly. His kind eyes and his presence being the only comfort for you now. “Want me to go with you? You can talk to me, sweets. You know that.”
“Yes please,” you whisper, not wanting to be alone now after all of this.
“Do you feel okay to drive?” He asks.
You nod.
“Okay, let’s go then.”
Eddie steps away from you, he gives you a small smile before he walks away and towards his car.
You hesitate, and look back towards Steve’s house, looking into the window where the light is on. Your heart feels heavy, it longs for him, but there is so much sadness inside of you.
You’re not stupid, you knew how he felt about you, you knew what this was to him, you knew he never wanted more, he will never want more.
You know how this will end.
You know it.
But he blessed you with a glimpse of hope, this morning, only to crush it again by night.
You knew the moment of happiness was short, but you didn’t think that it would be this short.
You didn’t think that this night would be so much different from the one before.
You didn’t think that it would end with you sobbing into your best friend’s chest.
You didn’t know yet, that it wouldn’t be the last time that you would do that.
♡
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @sherrylyn628 @munson-mjstan @maroon-cardigan @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @ibellcipem @corrodedcorpses @agirlwholovesrockstars
#dwoht -- chapter thirteen#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington angst#steve harrington drabble#steve harrington blurb#stranger things angst
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in every other life- s.r.
a/n: my soul is in this mf fic. there's a lil sexual tension lol! this is a behemoth of pining. so much fucking pining. this guy needs you like air wtf!! ALSO the poem is from a book, the lover's dictionary by david levithan.
summary: the love of spencer's life is also his best friend, and she goes on a few dates. he does not handle it well, internally. ft. metaphysics by our dear genius boy.
wc: 3.3k (holy shit)
While he recognizes that no direct injustice has actually been done to him, he can’t help but feel that it’s so unfair.
Because Spencer had never actually wanted much of anyone, actually. He was too much of a child through his entire education, and he’d found anyone that he’d even consider had almost instantly had dismissed him. He’d grown used to a life where companionship wasn’t a desire that crossed his mind.
But he wanted her.
His lovely friend, his coworker, who was the kind of lovely that it feels unfair you’d ever have to take your eyes off of. She’s the best person he’s ever met, the sort of wonderful you read about but never convince yourself you’ll ever see. He knows the shape of her, has her form memorized from watching, waiting for her to step into the office every day.
It was only a matter of time until he wasn’t the only one with his eye on her.
She’s actually absurdly easy to want. There’s nights where they watch something, often what he picked, Doctor Who or some other science fiction which would be great if he could focus on anything but her. Her warm disposition ruminating his too-small apartment with a kind of light that follows his every movement. He’d adore her even if she wasn’t, but it’s impossible to ignore how beautiful she is- the kind of pretty that you hardly expect to see in real life.
“Hey you,” her so-sweet voice is what breaks him out of his daydreaming, and he looks up at her lovely face smiling down at him. Fondness seeps through her tone, and it’s everything he can do not to preen that her first thought at seeing him is one of pleasure.
“Hey back,” he says, greeting her with a warm grin of his own. “How was your weekend?”
It’s a calculated question.
She had canceled their weekly movie night. He’d tried not to look too disappointed, like the idea of her next to him on his couch, of her nimble fingers raking through his unkempt hair while something nice, but far less wonderful than his company played in the background wasn’t all that was keeping him going. These days, and he knows it’s likely delusion, that she sometimes seems to gaze back at him with a similar sort of desperation, hooded eyes and tenderness.
It’s a liminal space, those nights. How can people be two things at once? You cannot be both in love and not. In the low-light of his place, under his blanket- it’s like Schrodinger’s experiment. She can’t love him like a friend and more at the same time- it resists the laws of physics. She is his best friend, a fact he knows as sure as gravity and the elements, and believing anymore than that- it’s asserting an impossibility.
When they’re alone together, though. It seems like the impossible exists.
But she’d canceled it, something she hadn’t done for the months they’d been engaging in their little tradition. So there had to be a reason. She sits next to him, her desk next to his.
She looks a little disheveled, only in an adorable way- but a little like she’s been busy, like her flow is disrupted.
“It was good! I finally went out with that guy Penelope’s been begging me to let her set me up with.”
It’s all that he can do not to freeze up.
Penelope has been trying to get her to go out with her friend Ben, which Spencer thinks is a stupid name, by the way, and secretly he’d been so, so pleased when she had brushed off the invite. It’s a dangerous thing, hope. He tries not to have too much of it, tries to savor the thought of her, of more for moments of particular vulnerability. It’s treacherous, to want her the way he does. He knows he can’t let himself feel it all the way.
And logistically- romance is not a reason for a valid reason for him to be panicking the way he is, but all he can think about is the physics. Two opposite things cannot be true at the same time.
“You know, studies suggest that even now, the majority of couples are meeting in person or through friends over any other medium.”
It hurts to say. She’s part of a couple, one half a whole that he doesn’t complete.
“Seriously? I’d have thought it’d changed by now. I guess it’s safer to date someone you know.”
She’d date someone she knew? Is that what she prefers?
“How did it go?” He hears Emily ask, and this conversation is already the bane of his existence.
“Guys, it really wasn’t a big deal! We got dinner, it was just a little thing.”
Spencer isn’t experienced in dating, but he does know that dinner is a serious date. Coffee is a smaller thing, but dinner-
Dinner means she got pretty for him. Probably picked out a dress for the evening, spent time on a carefully manicured look. Spent hours of her precious, rare, time on him.
It’s not fair how much he fucking hates this guy.
“Dinner is not nothing!” Penelope squeals, and he would love to share in her excitement, except it kind of feels like a piece of his heart is being shredded.
“Dinner means coming up to my place, have coffee, oh look who doesn’t have her hair done-“
Please kill me, he thinks. Please.
“Oh, that definitely did not happen.”
Thank god.
Except he can’t miss her flush, how her expression shifts- and he has the sickening feeling he’d be hearing that guy’s name again.
When they all settle around the table, her doe eyes focused on gruesome images that were the exact antithesis of her spirit, he couldn’t help but feel that even if it hurt, there was finality.
The cat was out of the box. Two things cannot be true at once, and so only one is- she does not love him, at least not the way he does.
Ben, is not in fact, going away.
If he had more willpower or self-preservation, Spencer would keep his distance from her, but the truth of it is that as much as he wants to be the person she turns to, her smile is most of why he can stand his job anymore.
It’s a Tuesday, and everyone is grumbling about being pulled in early in the morning, but he’s just happy to have a reason to leave the house.
“Spence!” He hears her excited voice carry, the pretty sound picking his ears up at once. “I got you coffee. It’s hazelnut, and it’s like, 90% sugar. You’re gonna love it.”
She beams at him, and he takes it in his hands. Their hands brush, and he tries so hard not to notice how soft her hands are. Her name is on the cup, and an unconsenting fantasy of her name meaning that he’s hers creeps into his mind before he can bat it away.
But her cup says Ben.
“Thanks,” he says her name, tries to sound measured and friendly. “Coffee date?”
She preens, and god, if this guy doesn’t get how lucky he is it might be thing thing that actually sends him over the edge after all these years.
“Just a quick thing, we were just in the same place and he bought me a coffee, I’d already gotten yours.”
If there’s two roles he can fill and he doesn’t get to pick, if he’s stuck with friends, he’s gonna be great at it, and he’s gonna be grateful. Because knowing her is a grace in itself, the kind of thing you should could yourself so lucky to have.
“He sounds like a great guy,” he hears himself say, “I’m glad you’re doing this.”
It’s the right thing to say. He’s sure of it. The thing he’s not sure of is why the smile she offers him doesn’t reach her eyes.
The next time he notices the cracks in their relationship, it’s when they’re out. She’d suggested this bookstore-cafe kind of thing, and he’d jumped at the thought, all of his favorite things in one afternoon. He’d felt foolish spending so much time picking out his outfit out, wearing the blazer she’d once complimented-he’d actually stuttered so hard in thanks that Morgan laughed for a full minute when she left the room- but she always looked beautiful, and he knows he sometimes pales in comparison.
“Oh, I love this one!” She thumbs over the spine of a thin book of poetry. She’s wearing a forest green sweater that hugs her frame, and a bracelet hangs on her delicate wrist. He loves looking at her, though he tries to conceal it. His goal of being a supportive friend includes trying not to make it that known how gone for her he is.
“I don’t read too much poetry,” he admits, “But I’m sure you have excellent taste.”
Her keen eyes skim through the pages intently, clearly seeking out a specific passage before stopping, gaze alight with recognition.
Her tone is molasses-sweet when she begins reading, and his heart skips a beat.
“When I say be my lover,” her voice hitches, reverent of the quote and he is reverent of her, “ I don’t mean ‘let’s have an affair. I don’t mean Sleep with me. I don’t mean Be my secret. I want us to go back to that root. I want you to be the one who loves me. I want to be the one who loves you.”
It feels impossible to look away from her, doe eyes practically sparkling in the low light of the shop, and there it is. His heart’s in his throat. Of all the things you could have told Spencer he’d experience, hearing her lovely voice wrap around the words be my lover in hushed tone, in sacred sweetness, would never ever be one he’d guess.
He’s not sure how he feels about the multiverse theory, but right now, he can feel all the versions of himself pressing right up against him. Can see into lives he doesn’t get to live, lifetimes where his love isn’t a buried, worn-out tattered thing to keep his ever-frigid chest warm. Versions of himself that in this very moment can smile back at her, warm and open and kind, and kiss her perfect smile.
Because he would be her lover. He would come home to her, spend the rest of his life building a home that she could fit into. It’d be easy, actually. She’s easy to imagine- nights of laughing in a shared kitchen, evenings where her company is a fine wine, sipped at leisure with the comfort of knowing it’s never going to slip from your grasp.
“I like that,” he says, voice too vulnerable for his own good, eyes unable to tear from the eye contact. “I really like that.”
In the root of it, he already is her lover. He is the one who loves her. She’s just not his.
It comes to a head on a Friday. It’s a few weeks from he book shop, and the air feels heavier between them now. The last handful of Fridays he’s sat with the ghost of what used to be their plans, empty time lingering where in its’ place used to be her company.
He doesn’t know if she’s been with Ben. He tries not to think about it.
The sound of her voice lingers in his mind, sweet and bitter in his mind like old lemon candy, the kind his mother would save for special occasions. He’d spend any amount of money he had to hear her lovely voice say those words to him out of the context of a poem.
At work, they seem almost normal. Like one of them wasn’t desperately in love with the other; like a genius and his lovely, incredibly empathetic, kind best friend. In the field, their actions flow together seamlessly. She is always the first to listen and to understand (and god, isn’t it intoxicating to have someone meet you in understanding) and there is nothing to suspect is off.
But there’s still a cloud lingering. The poem- the soft melody of her voice curling around the words, the request of it all, the way she had sounded so wanting- and then, there’s Ben.
She doesn’t mention Ben to him, of course, but Penelope does. Penelope, all bows and bright colors and cheeriness keeps bringing the absolute worst news to Spencer with a smile on her face.
He’s taking her out for drinks! Oh, he’s reading her favorite book, do you know what it is?
This anger isn’t an emotion that he’s familiar with. A roar of possessiveness, the bite of it not tempered at all by rationality. Has he touched her?
It seems almost a tradition at this point when she shakes him out of his jealous storm of thought.
“Spence?” she muses, “You alright?” They’re alone at his desk, everyone having fled for their own evening and weekend plans. This was one of the Fridays that she had agreed to spend with him, and he wonders if he’ll be able to handle the scent of her shampoo so close after such a lapse of the sensation. Will all of his judgement go where he can’t follow?
“Yeah,” he says, tucking his papers into his bag, “I’m excited for tonight.”
His place is actually a short walk from the office. He’d been embarrassed to show her the place at first. It’s all function over fashion, and a bit cramped, but she’d looked at as though it was made of something more, something good. She didn’t even tease him. It had actually been her idea, to start these movie nights.
Ironic, really.
The walk was pleasant, the weather a little frigid but still nice, and she looks beautiful under the setting sun. It’s incredible to him, how her lashes catch the light and make her irises look like polished stained glass. His favorite color. Through the looking glass of another life, he sees a version of himself that gathers her up in his arms. In this daydream, she grants him one of her smiles that seems to carry its’ own light, and leans into his body like it’s the only thing that keeps her steady. It’s so clear. On the other side of the veil, he kisses her reddening nose, and keeps her warm himself.
In the here and now, Her coat is long, and hangs low by her ankles. It’s an elegant thing, like the woman who wears it, and Spencer would be grateful for a lifetime of just looking.They stop in front of his door, some invisible force stopping him from entering.
She sheds the coat inside his home. It smells like the candle she got him for his birthday, a reminder of her grace. He’s saved a bottle of wine for them, a sweet thing for the sweetest thing he’s known.
“I’m sorry,” she speaks the warmth of the beverage on her tongue, and it should feel abrupt but it doesn’t.
“What for?” He can’t imagine what she would have to apologize for.
“I know things have been…off between us,” she says carefully, considering the phrasing of each word. He watches her with a reverence, his hazel eye brimming with affection with nowhere to go. “You’ve been so great through it.”
Her legs are thrown across his own, and she’s dangerously close to sitting in his lap, but not exactly. He’s missed having her this close, the last time she’d been in his orbit was before she’d had reason to be gone. She smells floral. He fights With limited filtering through his already treacherous mind he thinks, He can’t take this from me. I still get her like this.
“I’m not entirely sure what it is.”
She slowly shuts her eyes, go for a moment to somewhere he can’t follow. Her cheeks are rosy from the cold.
“This whole Ben thing.”
“Oh.”
Logically, it always had to come back to this. Someone else had the good fortune to know her like this, to be the person she reads poetry to in deep meaning to.
He’s been stealing moments from someone who’s not his to take them from.
“I don’t even know how I wanted you to react.” she murmurs, staring at the rim of her glass.
“I just want you to be happy” His voice is something low, grit in the sound of it. His hand rests on her thigh. There’s warmth blanketing the room and he wants to kiss her. He wants to kiss her all the time.
She laughs, but it’s not her normal laugh. It’s tinny and a little bitter. He pushes his luck, and reaches out to brush the side of her face, moving the hair but still holding her face. Her breath smells like strawberry wine and temptation.
It feels different tonight. Low light and tension that could be sliced with wire. Every part of her is in reach, and something in the air makes all of this talk of relativity, of physics, moot.
Like maybe he’s not in the only world they don’t end up together.
Her face is warm and soft under his touch and he loves the sight of her. He’s never touched her like this. Every point of contact feels electric, addicting.
“What is it? The Ben thing?” He doesn’t know what he’s expecting to hear. What he wants, is for her to tell him that it doesn’t matter anymore, that she picks him-
“I only went out with him the once.”
“What?”
“I told Penelope I was still going because it made her happy and she said I couldn’t keep going to your apartment and reading you poetry and call that romance.”
Romance?
Wasn’t it romance, though?
Her eyes widen in something akin to horror.
“Shit, Spence- I’m sorry, that is so fucked of me to say-“
“You,” he tries to say calmly, “aren’t going out with Ben.”
She blinks.
“No?”
He has spent so much time living in other lives, existing in the minds of versions of himself he wasn’t lucky enough to be. Drinking coffee imagine a life colored in her presence, falling asleep yearning for the presence of something lighter than what he has to carry.
He can’t exist in two places. That was the entire basis of the experiment.
He moves his other hand to hold hers, and somehow she’s shifted to being on top of him, and he looks up at her with unwavering desire.
Spencer isn’t good at wanting people, but it comes naturally with her. Less of an action and more an urge, a course of motion to which he is at the mercy of. This is what leads him to close the gap between them, and kiss her. It’s
Her delicate fingers run through his hair, and she can’t be close enough, please, and he could spend the rest of his life kissing her, actually. He probably will spend the rest of his life thinking about the soft sigh he pulls out of her.
“I want it to be me,” he manages to say through shallow breath, still so close that his lips brush hers every other word, “I want to be the one you pick. I want it to be me.” His hazel eyes seem to shift in the moment, swirling with emotion.
She brushes a lock of his overgrown hair out of his face. He normally shaves when he sees her, but he’d been so busy that he’d forgotten, and felt embarrassed of it now. That is, until she runs her index finger along the edge of his jawline.
It’s then she leans down and kisses him again, pliant and good, his hands around her waist. He breathes a prayer into her mouth, one that hopes that she never ever comes to her senses about him.
“Spence,” she says, her voice golden silk, a kindness. “There was never anyone else to pick.”
#spencer reid#spencer Reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfic
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{peace - atsumu}
would it be enough if I could never give you peace?
putting this down as fem!reader, only because there are some specific nicknames I wanted to use (pretty girl, sweet girl, etc) no physical descriptions though!!
very soft fluff, like disgustingly soft. this is loosely based on one of my absolute favourite songs <3
“I feel so safe with you…” you mumble one night while resting against his chest.
it’s been a busy evening- going to one of his games and then to your work party immediately after. needless to say, the both of you are very tired. so tired that when you got home an hour ago, just past midnight. he had to help you get your pyjamas on and drag you to the bathroom before you flopped into bed and cuddled close to one another. you’ve been recharging with each other and focusing on some quality time you missed out on during the day.
atsumu feels his heart squeeze at the sound of your sleepy voice, soft and quiet and matching the persona you often take on when you’re exhausted.
he sighs in content and strokes the cheek not pressed against his chest with his thumb. slow and gentle. “yeah, pretty girl?”
you nod a little, nuzzling further into his skin. “you’re so peaceful.”
he freezes a little out of pure shock.
atsumu has never considered himself a peaceful person.
he’s seen his fans online lovingly describe him as chaotic, heard his teammates refer to him as energetic and sometimes hard to keep up with. he’s gotten abrasive, overexcited, intense… and what’s more, the lifestyle that comes with being a pro athlete is anything less than peaceful to begin with.
he still doesn’t see those as inherently bad qualities, even now that he’s older and doesn’t let his ego run the show anymore.
however he’s got it stuck in his mind that he could never give you peace. would it be enough for you? would you stay with him ten years down the line, even with all the flaws that he believes he is? he’s not easy to love, he knows it, but is he enough to make you stay?
and then sometimes you say things like that, making him question everything, things that change his own perception of himself.
“peaceful, huh? weren’t ya running your mouth this morning calling me a freak for putting my milk in before my cereal?” he tries to joke.
you giggle a little and he holds you tighter out of adoration. “well you still are, but you’re also very peaceful.”
he’s silent for a moment but he can’t help but ask, “how do ya figure?”
you do your best to word it properly. he loves the way your face scrunches up as you think of what to say. “I always feel so calm around you. more calm than I’ve ever felt around anyone else. and so extremely safe. I can be myself with you and I don’t have to worry about anything when you’re around because I know you’ll be there to help me if something does happen.”
he doesn’t know what to say, but you solve that issue for the both of you with what you say next.
“you offer me a special type of peace I didn’t think was possible, ‘tsum. you’re my angel.”
you make it seem so simple, like there’s nothing in the world that could ever dispute it.
he can’t stop his eyes from welling with tears. he’s always been an emotional person- he knows, he’s been berated for it since childhood, both teased and defended against others by osamu for it. he wears his heart on his sleeve and it wasn’t until meeting you that he considered it an admirable quality. he feels things deeply, and this hits him deeper than anything else ever has.
but you’re just as emotional as he is, so when you look up and notice him trying not to cry, you immediately tear up too. “don’t cry,” you sniffle, trying to wipe his tears while a few run down your own face. “I love you so much, atsumu.”
he sniffles as well, voice thick and full of love. “I love you, too, baby. how’d I end up with such a sweet girl, huh?”
you shake your head. “I’m not, I’m just telling the truth.”
he laughs through his tears. “and being sweet while doin’ it.”
he presses kisses to your forehead, mumbling small thank you’s against your skin. “for the record, I feel the exact same about you. my angel.”
you crawl up a bit so you could be face to face with him. you kiss him properly and taste the saltiness of your mixed tears.
“I didn’t think I could ever offer that to anyone. I’m not used to hearing it, so I stopped believin’ it.”
your heart breaks a little but you’re quick to reassure him. “well believe me. you offer me more than I deserve.”
“that’s not true,” he’s always so quick to defend you. “you deserve way more than I could ever give you.”
you smile a little bashfully and then pull a face he recognizes as the one you make when you’re trying not to yawn. “alright, sweetheart, we should get some sleep.”
he strokes your cheek and gently rolls you off of him so your head rests against your pillow. he chuckles when you immediately choose to rest it against his chest again instead. he loosely wraps an arm around your waist and kisses the top of your head.
you listen to his heartbeat and drift off. your breathing evens out almost immediately and atsumu thinks back to a time when you used to struggle to sleep around him.
he smiles to himself, wiping the last of his tears and whispers something you just barely manage to catch before sleep fully pulls you under.
“sweet dreams, baby. I love you.”
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peace is one of my favourite songs ever, I very much relate to it. and I think atsumu would too. I wrote this at like 1 am so if there’s mistakes, or if it seems very all over the place, blame it on sleep deprivation and devastating brain rot for the boy </3
hope you enjoyed :)
some tags :3
@emmyrosee @dira333 @luvring
#atsumu x reader#atsumu x reader fluff#miya atsumu x reader#atsumu miya x reader#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#atsumu fluff#haikyuu x reader fluff
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Abnormal Love Languages
Genshin men with weird ways of expressing their love for you - Gender Neutral Reader (No Pronouns) - SFW - Romantic - Fluff/Crack
ft. Alhaitham, Wanderer, Heizou, Tighnari, Dottore
Alhaitham
The Scribe of the Akademiya, a renowned scholar, and a totally awkward boyfriend
So what does this intelligent, well-known, socially unaware man do when he wants to show you he loves you?
Infodumping
Knows a lot and makes sure you know it too
If he fell in love with you that means he respects your intelligence and curiosity enough to find interest in your company
So whenever he's on the couch with a new book on Theoretical Quantum Mechanics, he will be reciting the facts to you as if he's doing an oral presentation
Alhatiham keeps one of those big rolly whiteboards in his house (usually used to lecture Kaveh) and you know that when he pulls it out then it is officially date night
He pours you both a glass of wine for a nice candlelit dinner, but then you ask him about his new book and suddenly it's a romantic candlelit lecture
Lucky you find his intelligence attractive ;)))
If you ever need gift ideas for him just get a pack of multicoloured whiteboard markers, he always needs new ones
Even though you might end up regretting enabling his little habit
Wanderer
Traumatised Tsundere (TM)
Has never wanted anything more than to be loved the way he observed in humans, but has always believed he could never be loved in any way. It has only been proven to him that it isn't possible
So he protects himself from rejection by teasing and swatting you away, almost trying to make you hate him so he can at least expect what reactions to get from you
He views it as safe, he knows how humans are when they are angry and hateful, he's experienced it firsthand, so he knows what will come of it
Even though he's secretly saddened by feeling like he has to hurt you
So when you respond to him bonking your head with laughter and a smile brighter than he's seen on anyone in his direct presence before, it startles him
When he pushes your face away with his hand and you retaliate by latching onto his arm he freezes (Wanderer.exe has stopped working)
Calls you stupid and insults your survival instincts
"Honestly, if a complete stranger were to push you away like this, would you still clutch their arm like a lost puppy? How absurd, you obviously couldn't survive without me protecting you, since you evidently can't tell good intentions from bad ones,"
Then you pout and tell him that of course you don't do this with other people, you do it because it's him!
He stops working again
Shoves you to the ground to avoid you seeing how red his face is
Heizou
Riddles and puzzles/tries to quiz you by making you help him solve a case
Brings you to crime scenes even though you are not a detective and definitely aren't allowed to be there just so he can test your skills
"So, what can you gather from this crime scene? This case isn't particularly difficult, so I have no doubt you'll be chasing down the perp in no time,"
Honestly your whole relationship is like an escape room
You want to get into your house but forgot your key? Well knock in morse code and maybe Heizou will let you in
You want to have a nice lunch date with your boyfriend? Well you best be prepared for an intense game of shogi while you eat
You want Heizou to pass you a pen? Well first you must answer these questions three!
But seriously, he makes it fun for you and makes sure to let you know that it’s his way of telling you how much he respects you and he values your input and intelligence
Tighnari
As an Amurta scholar and a forest watcher who has seen way too many cases of mushroom-based food poisoning, Tighnari has learnt to be prepared to dish out medical treatment
So if you cough even once, or sneeze in his presence, Tighnari will begin an impromptu check-up to ensure you're still feeling your best
You try telling him you're fine, people sneeze all the time without being sick, but he just scolds you even more for thinking you could get away without him making sure you're alright
"Don't be so proud, you idiot. What am I going to do with you if you go and get sick?"
Tighnari would hate if you fell ill under his careful watch, but if you do get sick or injure yourself, prepare for a two hour lecture and a bowl of fresh creamy mushroom stew to help you get back into tiptop shape
He's usually incredibly busy with his forest watcher duties, but will somehow almost never leave your side if he's tending to you
When you aren't sick, he makes sure you're eating well, going so far as to prepare your meals or make a nutrition table based on the vitamins he thinks you need more of
Always reminds you to drink water and take any medication you need, your health is his top priority
Dottore
Psychopath (Endearing)
Takes x-rays of you just to admire your lovely bone structure and hangs them up around your shared bedroom as if they're regular date pictures
He loves to have you sit in his lap as he caresses your body and coos at your flesh, whispering sweet nothings in his suavest voice about your organs, and telling you what a strong heart you must have because he can feel it through your shirt
Unwinding with Dottore almost always goes this way, with you getting a shower of what you're pretty sure are compliments about your internal systems and physical attributes
He once shocked you with a mini electric buzzer just to see your central nervous system go off. You were naturally quite annoyed about it but he just shrugged it off, claiming that he just loved to see your body at work, although he never did it again
His doctor brain never turns off, so be prepared to have his fingers in your mouth as he goes on about what wonderful teeth you have
It certainly makes you feel... special
You should feel special, he definitely doesn't do this with anyone else
Dottore is so enchanted by your being that he grows human organs in his lab that are exactly the size and shape of yours, saying it's so you can see for yourself just how beautiful you are
#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#fluff#romantic#sfw#alhaitham x reader#wanderer x reader#scaramouche x reader#heizou x reader#tighnari x reader#dottore x reader#zandik x reader#love languages#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#gn reader#no pronouns#gender neutral reader
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Look what you started
a/n: i love this sm, first time writing something +18 detailed so any suggestions are more than welcomed 🩷
Prt 2.
Warnings: mentions of murder, stabbing, blood, bullying, oral (r! receiving) fingering (r! receiving), dom e!, sub r!, “mama” “princess” “babe/baby”.
and I think that’s all, let me know if there’s something else Ty!
“You took this shit from zero to a hundred, babe”
You’ve gotten into a very privileged arts university. Your dream had always been becoming an artist so you’d do anything necessary to achieve it. You got there with help of a scholarship and even though you weren’t the only one, people couldn’t contain themselves, so they stared to make fun of you for not being as rich at them, how fucking stupid.
But how could you guilt them? they were born rich, grew up rich, didn’t had to fight for anything in life and all of them were ignorants with luck, very good luck. And then there was you and all the other not so privileged students who had to prove they were worth the money. Who had to basically beg to be where they were and who had to conform with being treated like dogs.
And your life was that until you meet Ellie. People talked about her and how cruel she was, yet for you she was just another rich girl at your school.
There were rumors about how she got killed anyone who deared to disrespect her the minimum, or at least that’s what people thought since every time someone didn’t treated her with pure privilege they would loose everything and then disappear.
She was also the best student, excellent grades, loads of awards and recognitions, never had failed an exam in her whole life. And of course people talked about it, because as much as rich kids try to bully the non privileged, they’ll still recognized they’re unable to be smart and try hard, they’re too privileged to even think about it.
So when Ellie first approached to you when you were on the library preparing for an exam you thought your life was over. You thought you had nothing to offer to her so you probably did something that got her mad without realizing. Maybe she got mad because she noticed how you stayed nearby whenever people gossiped about her?. Whatever it was, this was it. You were the perfect target.
“I’ve been looking at you for a while, I like you” you freezed, she looked so serious and confident to be lying, why would she? “Let’s go on a date, if you don’t like me back I’ll leave you alone” you probably looked as freaked out as you felt because a smirk formed on her freckled face “I won’t hurt you I promise, not unless you do something wrong” you didn’t cared if she meant it or not, if this was a threat or a very cheap way to try and convince you. Whatever it was you couldn’t take any risks “it’s fine, I’d like to”.
And that’s how all started, she wasn’t anything like what you were expecting. She was caring and so polite. After the first date you had with her you couldn’t help but fall for her completely. So you kept going on dates until eventually you’ve started to date officially.
People kept on talking shit about you, and it got even worse once you started to date her. Comments about how you were only with her for the money and how you’d dump her once collage was over were the ones that repeated the most.
And Ellie couldn’t take it. She tried her best to not care until you got physically abused by one of those students. It was the first time you feared her, she was mad and screaming at you, you feared she could hurt. And ironically it was that same fear that made you confess yourself in the very beginning.
One week or so after the incident, the girl that had left your body bruised went to you, screaming how a bitch you were for complaining to Ellie. She told you how her parents got fired, how she had got expulsed from collage and how her life was going down, how this was all your fault.
And you knew nothing about her after that day. Until Ellie took you on a date, or so you thought, because where you got to the place you were supposed to have the date you saw her, the girl that had spread rumors about you, the girl that grabbed you by the hair because she was jealous and then proceeded to hit you.
And you were confused, blinded. You knew what this was all about but didn’t want to accept it.
You were in front of the girl, she was on her knees, arms and legs tied up “I’m so sorry, I swear I won’t tell anyone just let me go. You’ll never see me again please” the girl begged, her voice was loud and shaky.
“Girl, you know what you did”
You turned your face to look at Ellie, she was sitting on a chair behind you. You were studying her face, but there was no single thing you could read on her. Her gaze turned straight to your scared eyes “cmon… what’re you scared of mhm?” her voice was the same gentle one that made you fall in love with her yet you were freaked out “go on pretty girl, I know you can do it” she stood up and walked to you, cupping your almost teary face with her cold hands “do it for me yeah?” her lips pressed on yours and then she let go of you.
She leaned you a knife and caressed your shaky hand softly with her thumb, you could feel her eyes looking through you. You just nodded quietly, letting her know you would do it.
“Look what you started”
The girl kept on screaming and begging for you to stop, but the fear, the shock and the rage combined on your body made you blurry her voice. You could her nothing but your heavy breathing and the way your steps sounded on the floor as you got closer.
And just as you blinked you realized the knife in your hand was now buried deep into the girls neck. Blood all over your face, all over your body. You hated blood, even your own, you wanted to throw up. Your hand moved without you realizing it, in and out of the girls body. Blood kept coming out, making a mess of you.
You felt sick, not because of what you did but because of how dirty you were. Just before your thoughts could get all over your mind, a pair of cold hands embraced your body from behind, taking the knife slowly off your hands.
“You did so good baby” her hands move from your hands to your shoulders, the knife was now on her hands. She turned you around softly and hugged you tightly. You could hear her heartbeat as she pressed your head on her chest. “I’m so proud of you, you’re good now, calm down yeah?” You felt her rubbing your back with her hand, up and down on until the euphoria eventually disappeared.
She assured you her dad would take care of it, you trusted her since now you knew it wasn’t the first time this happened. You took a last glance on the girls cold dead body before Ellie escorted you away, back to the car she had drove you on before all happened.
During the drive home you could only stare at her. You felt the dried blood all over you and some hairs sticking on your face. Your mind was so full of thoughts It felt empty. This was the first time you killed someone, how could you pretend everything was fine?
There was a mix of euphoria and insane guilt, seeing them bleed out on the floor infront of you and ellie after you’ve stabbed them was disgusting and just shocking.
“What’s going through your head?”
As ellie drove, she looked over at you a few times with a smug smile, noticing how you were staring back “why are you so quiet? are you worried you’ll get caught?” her right hand moved on top of yours, tangling her fingers with yours. “Mhm?…no” you let out a loud sigh “just…. It’s the blood, I hate it”
“Are you sorry?”
“you’ll get used to it babe” ellie said in a reassuring tone as she looked back out on the road, continuing to drive them back to Ellie’s apartment “its always hard in the beginning, the guilt can make you want to throw up and you dont even realize how much you want to look away when the blood begins to pour”
“There’s nothing else to say”
You just nodded in silence. You were too shocked to do anything else, too tired from your thoughts to speak as you usually did. “I’ll be good, I’ll get over it” you reassured, more for yourself than to calm Ellie.
The rest of the drive back to Ellie’s was quiet. Just some music from the radio that you eventually turned on to try and focus on something else than your sticky body and the smell of blood all over you.
Once you got there she helped you get out of the car, grabbing your hands all the way to her apartment. Everything felt so surreal. Time was slow yet so fast and your body felt like it wasn’t yours. Maybe it was the smell of blood that was overwhelming you.
She lead you to her bathroom and turned the water on for you to shower. Her hands were all over your body as she helped you get undressed “you won’t to it again, I just wanted that bitch to get what she deserved” you felt her lips pressing on your forehead gently and her hands holding yours “it’s okay ellie, I’m fine” your appearance said the total opposite. Tainted cheeks, plump shaky lips that you were biting since you got out of the car, teary empty eyes and a body full of blood. Yet Ellie showed no mercy or empathy towards you, she did loved you, just not enough to feel pity for your looks. She had got what she wanted from you.
Ellie got in the shower first, leading you with her hands holding yours. You felt the hot water running all over your tense body, you could see how it turned red and how the blood on your face started to run all over your body, from your hair to your toes.
She helped you to clean yourself, she was moving your body as she wanted to, yet you didn’t hesitate. Too full of thoughts to even try to.
Her hands full of shampoo giving you a scalp massage, then full of soap removing the blood from your body. Soft kisses here and there as she cleaned you. Her hands all over your body, so tender and gentle. “Hey…. look at me, mhm? c’mon” you stared at her tattoo as she grabbed you by your chin “stop thinking about it, we’re fine, there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll never dare to put you in any danger” your eyes finally connected with hers, and so did your lips. Water running in between your bodies and mouth, tasting a bit like soap.
Ellie slowly ran her fingers down your torso, your hips, and your thighs, as a corky smile appeared in her face “you’re so beautiful” she whispered gently “and you’re all mine”. her lips kept on going lower and lower leaving tiny bites and kisses from your jawline, to your neck, to your clavicle. Her body pressed close against yours as water run in between.
You felt how her lips latched around one of your hardened nipples, sucking on it as one of her hands toyed with the other. A low whimper came out of you now slightly opened mouth as your hands moved at the back of Ellie’s hair, playing with it. She kept on leaving kisses all over your body, a few small bruises on your chest.
Ellie started to slide down on her knees, slowly, dragging her nails along your tender skin. You moved your head along her body, staring at her every move. Your hands cupping Ellie’s face gently, making her look back at you.
She stared back as she let her fingers gently move up and down your body, feeling the smoothness of your skin under the warm water. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, ever” she spoke softly, pulling your body close to her.
"I love you" you replied on a whisper. Your hands moved closer to Ellie’s lips, moving your thumb on top of her lips, caressing them. Ellie moved her mouth to cover your thumb, kissing it and sucking it slightly. “i love you too princess".
Just as you removed your thumb from her pretty lips you saw how she got her face close to your cunt, leaving small kisses on it as her hands move around your thighs. Her nose pressing on your clit caused shivers all over your body, moving your hands back to Ellie’s hair, pulling her even closer to you.
The mix of the warm water and your skin sticking on her made it so hard for her to breathe but she didn’t mind it, she was to focused on your pleasure and how delicious you taste to even bother.
Her tongue slowly sliding in between your folds as her nose presses on your plump delicate bud. You kept on letting out small whimpers, almost as if you were crying from pleasure, needy for more.
Her hands moved up, from your thighs to your breasts, cupping them and toying with your nipples again. Her tongue moving up and down, side to side and in all posible patterns on your sensitive cunt, teasing you by licking just outside your entrance.
She continued with her motions, until you were shaking and feeling a knot of pleasure forming on your stomach. Just as you’re nearing your orgasm she stops abruptly. Both, her hands and tongue stopped moving.
Before a confused look could form on your face, her right hand slid down your body to your now aching cunt, slowly circling your entrance “you’re doing so good for me baby” her face moved to make eye contact with you once again, smiling at the sight of your desperate face “let me hear you mhm? be loud for me” and you nodded.
Two of her fingers finally plunged in, curling and hitting just the right spot. You did as she asked and started to moan her name loudly “m-mmhm Ellie…. please” your voice came out a bit shaky.
“please what mhm? say it mama, c’mon” her thrusts became more aggressive each second, making it harder for you to speak, to focused on the pleasure “m-more” you managed to beg.
Her face got closer to your clit again, sucking on it as her fingers kept on thrusting on your cunt. The sound of your whimpers made her grown, sending vibrations to your sensitive bud and making you moan nonstop.
“m’gonna cum” you moan dumb, and you can feel how she get more aggressive and fast, until the knot on your stomach finally releases. And as you turn your face down you can see her licking all.
Her fingers kept on moving after you had released, slowing down and finally retiring them out of your cunt, licking them.
She gave you a small kiss on one of your thighs before standing up again. Water running over your bodies “liked your reward?” she said gently, pressing her lips with yours before you could even answer. You could feel her smiling.
“If this is what I’ll get for killing annoying bitches then I’ll do it more frequently” your breathing was still a bit shaky as you spoke, making Ellie chuckle “you’ll get this just for being with me”.
And now it’s your turn to clean her properly, and maybe even reward her back, just for having a soft spot for you.
-
Prt.2
#ellie tlou#look what you started 𓄼 ⨟ 🎚️˖ ✶#ellie williams#ellie x y/n#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#ellie smut#ellie the last of us#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x y/n#ellie tlou2#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams tlou2#Spotify#ren masterlist ᵎᵎ ִ ۫ ּ ⊹
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Stray Kids Reaction || He Throws His Wedding Ring [Maknae Line ] [Mafia Edition]
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - February 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of blood, killing, sex trafficking (not involving the reader) murder and fighting.
JISUNG:
"I wasn't flirting with him! I don't know why you're accusing me of such a thing." You grumbled at Jisung who shook his head at you, watching as you walked toward the dressing table in your bedroom and took the earrings from your ears, the earrings he'd paid for and watched you wear as you flirted with other men. His anger was bubbling over as he stared at you,
"I saw the way you were looking at him, Yn, don't play games with me." You started rubbing your temples, getting tired of going through this again and again. Ever since you'd been dragged out of the party he'd been lecturing you about flirting, something you hadn't even done.
"I was being polite. I don't know what you want from me. First, I'm too standoffish, now I'm flirting?!" He'd told you to be nice to everyone at the party, that everyone there was someone who deserved to be treated with respect so that was what you'd been doing. You'd spoken to Dante a little longer than anyone else but you'd been helping pick a necklace for his wife - Vivian.
"Polite?! It looked to me like you were ready to throw yourself at him. I can't have my wife acting like that, especially in our world." You stared down at the ring on your finger, feeling the weight of his accusation on your shoulders and you tried to hold back the tears.
"Jisung, I married you because I love you. I did not come into this marriage to be accused of things I didn't do." You told him, lifting your head to look at him and he was twisting the ring off his finger and placing it down onto the bed.
"Maybe you should find someone else who will let you flirt with other men," You shuddered a little at the sudden escalation of all of this. You just wanted him to understand that you hadn't done anything.
"I don't want anyone else, Jisung. I want you to trust me." You breathed out but he stormed out of the room leaving you alone you stared down at the ring on the bed, sniffling as you slowly sank down onto your knees,
"I don't think she would want you here," You heard Dante express as you looked up from the book you were reading. After Jisung had walked out on you, you'd packed a bag and headed to Vivian's for a few nights wanting to clear your head.
"Why are you here?" You turned your head to face Jisung who was seething with anger.
"Vivian invited me for a sleepover."
"Who's-" Jisung couldn't finish his question as Vivian came into the room with wine glasses, freezing when she saw Jisung standing there.
"I'm taking my wife home."
"She doesn't want to." You told him as you opened your book and went back to reading.
"She doesn't have a choice," Jisung grumbled as he took your hand and helped you up from the sofa.
"You come willingly or I take you, it's up to you, Sunshine." You hadn't heard him call you that in years and the nickname sent shivers down your spine.
"I can't be with someone who doesn't know how to trust me."
"I know how. I was an arsehole and I never should have said what I did."
"I have to see this," Dante whined but Vivian was quick to walk him to their private bedroom so you and Jisung could finish.
"I'm sorry," He stated, his voice full of concern and sincerity and you knew he meant it.
"I should have trusted you from the start but I just couldn't see past my own blind rage. Dante could take you if he wanted to."
"That would be kidnapping...I'm only interested in one man, Jisung and it's only ever always been you."
"I'm sorry," He whispered as you stepped closer to him, sighing a little as you ran your hands over his cheeks sweeping away the tears.
"Take me home." You told him before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
FELIX:
"You never listen, Felix!" You yelled out with a sharp whine, the two of you were in his office in a heated argument and almost everyone in the house had scattered after hearing you both.
"It's always your business, never a moment about us!" Your voice echoed through the room as Felix sat at his desk with his fist clenching around his glass,
"I provide for you, Yn! What more do you want?!" He finally yelled back, the final straw breaking the camel's back after listening to you yell at him for the last hour and still having no idea why you were fighting with him in the first place.
He'd only come home late and you were jumping down his neck about how he wasn't there for you.
"I want a husband that is there for me! That actually shows up when he's supposed to!" You yelled at him, shaking your head as you thought back on what tonight was supposed to be. A meal between families, your parents and Felix were going to sit down with you both for the first time in months and he hadn't even bothered to show up.
"Is this because I missed that stupid dinner?!" The fact that he was calling it stupid only further fueled your anger with him.
"Stupid? You didn't call it that when you asked your parents to come."
"Look, I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you whatever-"
"I want my fucking husband to show up when he's supposed to!" You cut him off, if you were anyone else in the world Felix would have killed you on the spot for interrupting him and you knew that.
With the argument intensifying Felix impulsively ripped off his gold band and hurled it across the room before it clattered at your feet. You stared down at it, soft sobs leaving your throat as you stared down at the ring that clearly meant nothing to him.
"I mean that little to you?" You sniffled, turning your head to look at him and Felix was filled with instant regret but before he had a chance to utter an apology you were already fleeing the room.
It didn't take him long to find out where you were hiding and your parents let him in instantly, leaving you alone as you stared down at your wedding album.
"We used to be happy." You muttered to him, turning the pages and looking at what you used to be. Now there were nothing but cracks in your marriage and broken vows on both of your parts.
"We can still be happy..." Felix sunk down onto the floor beside you and you laid your head on his shoulder sighing a little.
"You work too much. You miss too much," You mumbled as he took your hand in his, his ring back on his finger as he stared down at your fingers that were interlocked with one another.
"I'll delegate the work, I'll take a step back." He promised, you'd heard the promises before but there was something behind his words this time that made you believe them.
SEUNGMIN:
You couldn't even believe Seungmin, after promising you that he'd stick to having fun tonight he'd snuck off to do business behind your back and at your party no less.
"What are you doing? Changbin said you were outside, you're supposed to be inside baby." Seungmin placed his hands on your shoulders but you shrugged his touch away from you, everything felt so cold with him later tonight.
"Sixteen." You told him plainly, watching as a cab pulled up outside of the luxury hotel that Seungmin had hired out for your party tonight.
"Sixteen what?" Seungmin frowned not following along,
"You've broken sixteen promises in the last three months." You clenched the jacket around you tighter and stared at him as a storm brewed inside of you. Tonight was supposed to be special, both of you were dressed up to the nines and ready to party and he'd promised to keep everything fun.
"You promised, Seungmin that tonight was my night and you were off doing business."
"This is how things work, Yn. I needed to do this deal." He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as if he couldn't believe you were upset over something so small. It was a business he'd been working on for almost a year now and tonight was the only night the man was willing to close the deal, it was his only chance.
"You promised." You whispered, trying to get him to realise the weight of his actions but it was as though he didn't care at all.
"You knew when you married me things were going to be like this." As if that was any justification for any of this, you shook your head at him and stepped toward the cab opening the door for yourself.
"Did I? Because the Seungmin I thought I was marrying never broke a single promise to me." The whole nine years before the two of you had gotten married had been the best times of your relationship, it felt as though once he had you he didn't care to try and put in any more effort.
"Then maybe you never should have married me then," The words hung in the air as you both stared at each other, the DJ's music the only buffer between you.
"Maybe." You whispered staring at him, waiting for him to take it back or to at least take you back inside but he just took off his ring and threw it behind the cab. He locked eyes with you as you got into the car and told the driver to drive, anywhere but there and the gravity of his action began to weigh down on him.
"Yn! Wait!" He yelled out but the car was already speeding off leaving him in the aftermath of what he had just done.
"Why am I here?" You questioned Changbin - your personal guard - he'd dragged you out of bed that morning and down to Seungmin's home saying nothing to you.
"This will come as a surprise to many of you but it's come to my attention that I must step down." You stared at Seungmin as he spoke into a crowd of men.
"This isn't something I regret to inform you, in fact, it's something I'm welcoming with open arms." His eyes found yours in the crowd and he smiled warmly,
"I'm leaving to spend time with my wife and eventually our growing family. I'll still be here but...mostly behind the scenes." With that he stepped away and headed over to you right away, you sniffled a little.
"Who said your wife still wants you?" You teased a little as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you flush with his chest.
"If she doesn't I will spend every single day of my life trying to make her want me back," You smiled weakly before kissing him softly.
JEONGIN:
After the shot rang out you felt the warmth of blood on your face you knew what Jeongin had done and you felt sick as you stared down at the floor to see the man who had just been speaking about you on the floor.
"W-What the fuck?!" You yelled out as you stared at Jeongin who was calmly making his way over to you and wiping your face with a tissue as if this was the most normal thing in the world for him to do. Which was in his line of work but he'd promised never to do anything like this in front of you, it was one of the conditions you had when you agreed to get married.
"He had it coming, he shouldn't have disrespected you," It was true he shouldn't have but that didn't mean taking the life of a man that neither of you knew.
"What if he had a family and he was their sole earner?!" You yelled at him but he shrugged, bending down and collecting the man's wallet so he could have his men do a background check.
"I'll provide for them. They're better off without the drunken low-life." You began walking away from him,
"That's not the way to the car, Beautiful." You ignored the nickname he had for you as you continued to walk in the opposite direction of him.
"You went too far, Jeongin." You using his full name was never a good sign and he swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I didn't ask you to kill anyone for me." Your voice quivered with anger and fear as you shook your head at him.
"I did it for you. He was disrespecting you and I won't have it." You stopped in your tracks and turned to look at him, you couldn't believe that this was the same man you had once fallen in love with.
"So you'll kill anyone that even looks at me wrong?"
"If that's what it takes." He told you plainly, you let out a scoff and threw your hands up in defeat. The frustation finally took over as you stared at him. You needed him to see how wrong all of this was for him,
"You're disgusting. All of this power has gone to your head!"
"I do what needs to be done. This is our life and I won't let anyone or anything threaten it!" He yells at you, his face red with anger as you stare at him breathing heavily.
"I don't want this life anymore, not if it means losing you to the power you hold." You mumbled to him in the heat of the moment but Jeongin smirked at you, taking off his ring and throwing it to the floor. Silence hung in the air as you stared down at the ring in disbelief, the unbreakable bond you'd made together was now thrown to the ground as if it were trash so you walked away.
As it turned out it wasn't as easy as you'd hoped to walk away from Jeongin, you were forced to interact as a couple at events and the same with tonight.
"Will you ever speak to me again?" Jeongin whispered to you,
"No, while you're a power-hungry weirdo," You mumbled before drinking from your glass, downing it and asking for another which was promptly brought to you.
"I'm stepping down." He told you as he watched you down another drink,
"I've heard that before." You grumbled only for him to place his hand on top of yours.
"Chan is taking over, I shouldn't be in charge," You stared at him and glanced over at Chan who was nervously waiting to speak to the party full of people.
"Is that what tonight is? You're resigning?"
"Stepping down, I'll still work but I won't...be in charge," He admitted as you stared at him,
"Why?"
"Because given the choice between my wife and work? I choose you, every time." He whispered before clapping for Chan along with everyone else in the room.
@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @toplinehyunjin @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @choisoorin @straykids5star @midnightfrog625 @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @halesandy @junhannies @gothic4under4lord @lixie-phoria @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lensfilm @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @kpopsstuffs @chaeyoungs @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @niktwazny303 @moonlight-the-writer @armystay89 @hadassahchan @yxngbxkkie @myyouthdonut @extrhotjne @ca11me3mily @elissasimp @xakx @sleepb @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @kpopmenace143 @minhosify @loveforred @b1nn1e-1s-cut3
#skz#skz x reader#skz reaction#skz reactions#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids reaction#stray kids reactions#jisung x reader#felix x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader#yang jeongin#jeongin#kim seungmin#seungmin#lee felix#felix#han jisung#jisung#bang chan#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin
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In the most demeaning way possible, I think I'm stupid. I can't even spin it for myself like hehe I'm just a himbo thembo blah blah blah. Like it's just a legitimate insecurity of mine.
#microwavechild#ever since like 4th grade#and really reached its height in middle school#ive just felt so dumb and worthless#like ive just been behind my classmates and even all the other kids who had trouble learnjng ended up getting better but i didnt#i was just stuck in class#not understanding#feeling like shit#and when anyone tried to help me i could only freeze up because i was so terrified of them realizing how stupid and hopeless i was#i didnt even learn math with my actual class through most of middle school#they ended up giving my mom the grade level textbook to teach me at home because id just freeeze at school#i could only do work by myself and work with a teacher if it was the lower graded class and teacher#even then working with that teacher was still hard for me because if my low self esteem and experience with my nirmal math teacher#which was terrible by the way#she fucking sucked and was extremely weird#thank god i herd hes moving to florida#i hope he gets eaten by a fucking alligatir im not joking i hope that bitch suffers#swamed by lizards and locusts#i think id literally punch him if i had the chance to
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HOW- easy it is
How easy is it to bed each version on him? Also afab wanderer the rest are pretty neutral
Kubukimono...scaramouche...wanderer
Kubukimono
Oh sweet and innocent kubukimono who'll do anything you ask of him! Definitely the most easiest to bed!
Delicate kubukimono who discovers this...interesting feeling when your hand gently brushes against his thighs..
He's not sure what it is but one night he finds himself rubbing his thighs together and that feeling comes back,
A soft gasp escapes him when he feels it...for the rest of the night he tries again and again until his legs grow weak but he just can't make himself cum!
He feels exhausted and tired soft globs of tears run down his face as he just can't savour the feeling as soon as it gets intense he stops!, involuntarily sometimes!
He can't help it it's too overwhelming! And a little scary..
He knows that this is his private part so he shouldn't show it to anyone! That's why he doesn't ask you for help...though he doesn't need to ask since he's being so loud one day you just walk into the room to see him rutting against his pillow whining softly..
"y..-y/n? Hic...c-can you help m-..me..?" he's mumbling and crying softly as you pull him into your arms he softly crawls over stumbling a bit he kisses you and his back arches he mutters under his breath
And when you finally strip him of his clothes only his thin wail on his head he gasps softly h-he shouldn't be naked in front of you!! Right? "n-noo..m..my clothes,"
You chuckle softly "how I'm I to satisfy your desires if your wearing clothes, hm..?" your voice gently as to not scare him off
"i-...well, um-" cutting himself off with a loud moan when you lick up his squelching hole. His back arched so prettily as he bit his lips,
10/10 very easy to bed!
Scaramouche
He's very reserved, rightfully so, he's scared, which causes him to be mean to you as a defense mechanism so you can't betray him or bring him any harm
He jolts everytime your skin makes contact with him, it could be as simple as your hand brushing against his thigh but oh archons will he give you a long lecture about decency while blushing furiously
Very very very hard on himself that includes his physical experience, like- what if ei got rid of him because of what he looked like? He looked ugly and weak what if what jf
They never leave his mind. And aside from his insecurities he's very stuck up and prideful he does not want to give into his desires and especially not be underneath someone!
He is definitely going to try and come over you, but even if your kind enough to let him, he freezes up not knowing what to do next!
He's so embarrassed!! He makes so many demands! Like how he doesn't want to take off his clothes and you should find someway to do it with his clothes on
When you question him he just stubbornly replies "i- I don't know!! Jus- find a way!!" after a while the best way you can think off his fucking him with a skirt on him so you can't see
He makes you promise you won't look! You agree at first but when he's too fucked dumb to realise you just throw the skirt somewhere else and continue!
though of course after just a few rounds the skirt was already rolled up to his stomach
2/10 very hard to fuck but rewarding if you put in the effort!
Wanderer
Easy but at the same time hard, he's a mix of kubukimono and scaramouche leaning more towards scaramouche
You have to guide him into it if your too straight forward he just wont. Soft touches gentle whispers and some compassion is all you need to have him crying and moaning on his back
He likes degrading but mixed with sweet words if he thinks your too mean he'll start sobbing!! He likes pretty words like "you like that, darlin slut, you like having fingers pumped into your soaking cunt"
Pretty words to talk him into leaving his studies in the akademia and coming to 'study' with you instead!
He doesn't need much convincing like scaramoochie but he's also not as ready to spread his legs to the sight of you like kubukimono...
He's a easily embarrassed person! Take you fingers out and if he sees them coated in his juices he's stuffing his face into the nearest pillow and yelling "get away! your fucking nasty-"
Seems you haven't fucked him dumb enough and he's still spewing garbage.
Hate hates hates quickies, he's a very demanding little brat and insists on being worshipped! They also make him feel unloved like are you just with him for his body???
Poor darling wants your love he wants it slow and gentle but he's to pride to admit that so he gets annoyed if you go slow like what do you pity him???
He's too self deprived and also loves saying bad stuff about himself. Though it's all psychological cuz he's dripping wet and so easy to get into.
5/10 cuz he's too easy but not too hard. but again he loves throwing puzzles at you instead of just telling you what he wants and how he wants it
#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin imagines#sub genshin#genshin hcs#sub genshin men#scaramouche smut#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche imagines#genshin smut#genshin x reader smut#scaramouche#Kubukimono#Kubukimono x reader#sub scaramouche#Sub kubukimono#Kubukimono smut#sub wanderer#wanderer smut#wanderer x reader#wanderer#gn reader#fem reader#male reader#dom reader#top reader
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emotion
s. you get stuck in your crush/study buddy's room during a freak storm.
w.c. 1.8k
w. gn! reader (I thought a fem reader when writing this, but then I noticed that I didn't really make it gender coded! so I figured it was a plus it came out this way!) , suna! x reader , fluff! suggestive! bc there is some steamy kissing and of the making out
a/n: Earth spun a wheel between Rin, Osamu, and Atsumu for me to write for and it so conveniently picked Suna Rin
Ending up in the same room as your classmate/crush during a storm, at night, with no electricity had never been on your bingo card for the year. Yet, here you were, blinking back into reality seconds after the lights just went out.
"Shit" Suna sighs. You can hear him start to move, making out the shadow of his body standing up and moving towards his beside drawer.
"I have a candle in here." He mutters, the obvious rummaging being heard before it ceases after you somewhat see a cylindrical shape in his left hand. The smell of paraffin going up into flames accompanies the slight bit of light coming from the match he just lit, it fades away the moment he blows out the match after getting the candle to light.
It isn't much, the light coming from the medium sized candle, but it lets you fawn over his face, his entire being. It's a flattering light and it sets a mood you wish you could do something about.
"You think the Professor will cancel the test?" He shivers a little when he sits down across from you again, rubbing his hands together.
That's the reason you were here in the first place, to study for that damn test.
Suna had sat next to you at the beginning the semester after getting there at the last minute and the last open seat had been the one next to yours. Ever since then, you had exchanged small talk and numbers with each other. It happened frequently, befriending the people sitting next to you in class, some days it was a great help to ask each other if the other had done the homework, understood yesterday's lecture, or if they had notes because one of you couldn't go to class that day.
But you only got excited when Suna asked you for your version of the notes from the previous lecture. Everyone always complimented your penmanship, but the first time he got your notes for reference against his, he sent a text:
lol you write really pretty
You smiled to yourself at it when he sent it and could only send a thank you back.
He didn't really befriend anyone else in the class and neither did you because of it. You didn't have the chance to when any free time in the class where the professor hadn't started lecture yet was taken up by conversation he tried striking up with you. It automatically made you study buddies by the time this first test came around.
"Well if it looks like the rest of the campus, or at least half of us lost electricity too, then it might be a no brainer to save it for another time."
He lets out a puff of air as a sarcastic laugh at the situation, "It's like that shit you say. Being delulu is the--"
"Solulu." You finish for him, giggling.
He lets out a 'heh' and leans forward while hugging himself even tighter, "Sorry you got stuck here. The storm really came out of nowhere."
"I'm sorry I got stuck here." You counter, your body starting to shiver at the increasingly cold air filling up the room with harsh cold rain storming just a window away and no heater to protect against it. "I'm in your room after all."
"It's fine," He says, his eyes acting a bit more fox-like than usual as he stares you down before he adds, "Let me give you one of my hoodies, it's getting cold."
And before you can interject and say that won't be necessary, which it really won't--you don't need Suna's hoodie, you're fine freezing to death if it means you don't have to breathe in his intoxicating scent clinging to your skin--he's getting up and walking to his closet.
As quickly as he gets up, he's coming back and handing you a hoodie, the specifics of it like the color or design not something your eyes couldn't register at the moment.
"Thanks." You meep out, basking in the moment your head first slips through it and you feel the hoodie envelop you. You didn't know what was keeping you warm now, the actual material draped over your body or the fact that it was Suna's and he had worn it before, it was his.
When you look back at him and squint a little, you can tell he's wearing one of his own too. One he rarely wore--yes you noted how frequently he wore his hoodies, you couldn't help but make the observation.
"Well if we think tomorrow's test is gonna be cancelled..." Suna drags on, "We can play Mario Kart on my switch?"
You weren't one to frequently come across the opportunity to play on a switch, so you asked, "It can work without wifi?"
"Yea, " He nods, "it's the only I can think of to keep us occupied while we wait to see if the electricity comes back any time soon."
You can think of something else.
And so does he, but he won't tell you that either.
While he gets up to get his console from his desk, you nervously near his bed.
"Hey, Suna, can I play on your bed?"
A shiver runs up his spine and his eyes go wide as he's disconnecting any unnecessary wires from his switch. Time stands still for him and-
"Suna?"
"Yea!" He manages to blurt out like it's not big deal as he comes back to you with the console in hand. When he joins you in sitting on his bed, next to you, propping up the little screen across from both of you, he says, "And you can call me Rintaro. If you want."
You lean over a bit to look at him curiously, noticing a slight change in his demeanor, as if he had something else busying his mind. His eyes seemed caught up in a thought.
"Sure."
That small observation of yours became a thing of the past soon after you had finished playing two matches against him.
He had become your worst enemy.
"You do not let me catch a break!" You laugh and yell at the same time, shoving him with your shoulder.
"Just because you don't play it often, doesn't mean I have to go easy on you." He defends himself, smirking as he looks at you from the corner of his eye while he picks a new map to play on.
You toss your controller to his side of the bed to throw an over exaggerated fit.
"Well now I don't wanna play if I'm gonna keep getting bullied like this." You haughtily huff and cross your arms
Suna jokingly rolls his eyes and is about to ridicule you when you're both suddenly enveloped in darkness again.
The candle must've gone out.
And for some reason, the lack of light made for a lack of noise in the space between the both of you. The rumbles coming from the storm outside filled the void between the both of you and eventually closed the space between you two when a monstrous crack of thunder and lightning made you yelp and grab onto whatever was near.
The shock of the sudden noise had you breathing a bit quick and with your arms around Suna's torso, who instinctively put his arms around you too.
It was quiet, yet not at the same time.
The roaring storm outside was noisy enough,
but you and your study buddy weren't saying anything.
Your hands can feel how sturdy he is underneath the layers of his shirt and hoodie. He's big, an obvious fact considering he is tall and a volleyball player for the school, but it seems so much more prominent when your hand feels so small compared to his huge back.
His breath tickles your ear and you move your head back when you shiver because of it.
His face is now in front of yours because of it. And now you're both in a position to kiss. You can feel his body and mind contemplating it, by the way his head moves a little and how his breath starts to sound. You don't doubt that you're probably doing the same.
When you feel his hand squeeze around your hip, you give him a small peck on the lips. It took all of your courage and some of the intensity from the moment to do it.
You have no opportunity to berate yourself for doing it when he chases after your mouth immediately when you're about to pull away.
And now you're making out with...
"Suna." You sigh, feeling him manhandle you onto his lap
"Rin." He breathes quickly before he reaches for your mouth again.
You can't help the mewl you let out from savoring the moment like the repeated relief of taking off your shoes after a long day of walking.
"Rin." You repeat after him.
Rintaro, Rin, is breathing just as heavily against you as you are. He's going as far as you are, whatever you do, he does in return. When you swipe your tongue against his lips, he does the same, except you open your mouth to him when he does.
And now you're both kissing with tongue.
You moan particularly loud and he juts his hips up into you right before he pulls away from you, the look in his eyes something you so agonizingly wish you could see right now.
"I like you a lot." He confesses, moving his hands down to slither across your thighs and hold them there.
"I like you a lot too." You say back, gripping onto the hem of his hoodie.
"Yea?" Rin breathes against you, going back in to kiss you
"Mhm." You sigh in relief.
"Fuck, "He can't help but push up into you, "You're so fucking pretty."
"You think so?"
"Know so." He groans and heads towards your neck for an assault, holding you in place by the back of your neck. "I want you so bad."
You grind your hips against him, turned on by the confession, "I want you bad too."
BOOM!
And you get scared shitless by the bitchy thunder again, dragging you away from the intensity of your increasingly intense makeout session with Rintaro and into a breathless heap of laughter with him. He had fallen back onto the bed, dragging you down with him and into his arms, snuggled into the crook of his neck.
"Does this mean I can finally follow you on Instagram?"
"Huh?" You're still dazed from the oxygen sucking of a makeout you just shared with him
"I found it a long time ago, but you never gave it to me so I didn't wanna seem like a stalker. You looked really pretty in your post last week though. I like pink on you."
"Stalker!"
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May I request a Hero thinking they're getting rescued from Supervillain by the Villain but -SURPRISE- Villain drugs them and kidnaps them for themselves.
Request #30
CW: lightly suggestive because apparently I can't help myself.
The hero was getting tired of the whole seeing nothing thing. The ropes and the gag were similarly annoying but for some reason it was the blindfold that was really starting to grind on their nerves...
Namely because they were convinced that they should have managed to get the damn thing off by now.
They grunted, shifting about on the cold concrete floor of the cell they'd been dumped in for what felt like the hundredth time, desperately trying to angle themself in such a way that would allow them to shift the fabric up. Up and, with a bit of luck, off. Though, with how well the endeavour had been going so far, it seemed that they were closer to scraping their cheek than actually removing the blindfold.
Stupid, unnecessary thing. They were trapped in a locked room - what did it matter if they could see? The hero wasn't escaping any time soon: the least the supervillain could do was show them the tiniest bit of hospitality.
They continued their awkward shuffling on the floor, cursing internally when it got them nowhere. With a huff, they struggled onto their knees, ass up, attempting a new angle only to freeze at the sound of a lock clicking free. The door slung open behind them not a second later, the hero's cheeks turning red as they took their position into account.
The supervillain really couldn't have chosen a more embarrassing time to enter.
Slowly, the hero raised themself back up to face in the other's direction, legs shifting beneath them uneasily. And that was it: that was all they had the power do. They gulped, trying to remain calm as the door closed and locked again, the sound of footsteps starting to circle around them like any predator eyeing up its prey.
The supervillain wouldn't kill them. That much they were sure of. On the other hand, the master criminal had never been known for their kindness.
The hero couldn't help but flinch as the movement came to a stop and their chin was grabbed gently, head forced to tilt upwards towards an enemy they couldn't even see.
Seconds dragged by. A minute.
The hero's body grew more tense as the time went on, mind eternally preparing for what seemed to be an inevitable blow.
But, instead of a punch, came a voice. A voice that was not the supervillain's.
"How the hell did you get caught?"
Had the hero's mouth not been gagged, they would have gasped: there was no world in which they got this lucky.
"You do realise how hard it is to catch you, right?" the villain continued on. "Gods know I've tried an embarrassing amount of times."
The hero sagged, muscles going limp as they let out a small sound of relief. The villain wouldn't hurt them. They were an enemy, yes, but they'd helped before and the hero had no doubt that that was what they were here to do now. If there was anyone out there that would dare to defy the supervillain's plans then it was them; even at the price of saving their nemesis, the villain would do anything to ensure that the other criminal never got what they wanted.
The hand that held their chin carefully slid back to the knot of the gag and was soon followed by a second. The villain's fingers worked quickly, a breath of fresh air passing through the hero's lips within moments.
"Thank you," was the first thing the hero said. Their voice was scratchy - throat as good as sandpaper - but they spoke all the same, determined to let the other know that this wasn't a mistake. "Thank you, thank you, thank--"
"Don't thank me yet, I still have to smuggle you out of here."
It was a good point.
The hero waited patiently, expecting the villain to do more untying, only to startle a little as the top of a bottle pressed against their lips - a drop of water escaping down their chin.
"Your voice sounds crap. Drink," the villain said.
But hero shifted back instead. "Seriously?" they asked. "You're more concerned about that then my binds?"
Even with the blindfold on, they could practically see the villain's smirk as they responded.
"Of course. Your health is my main priority - it would be a shame to see you faint on me. Not to mention..." The tip of the bottle pressed against their lips again, the villain holding their head in place this time. "You look so pretty when you're on your knees~"
Maybe the blindfold wasn't so bad.
The hero's cheeks were redder than they'd ever been but they were at least somewhat sure that the fabric hid it. For the most part.
They didn't deign the villain's remark with any response. Simply tilted forwards to take a drink and get it over with, doing their best to keep steady as water poured into their mouth. The villain made sure they drank slowly, measuredly. By the time they were done, the hero's blush was tenfold and they were certain that at least half of the bottle had to be gone - their legs tired of their position and their neck aching a little as it had been forced to crane up.
When the villain let them go they sat back with a huff, letting their sore muscles relax once more. "You're a menace, you know."
"Oh, I know." The hero heard the bottle being stored away into a bag. "You love it, though."
"I do not--mmph."
The gag was back in their mouth.
The hero froze in their surprise, mind working sluggishly as they felt the villain tying it back in place.
What were they doing? They knew that they needed that off, right? They were meant to be getting them out, not reinstating their predicament.
Just what was the villain playing at?
"You really are a pain to catch," the other commented. Again. "The worst, actually."
Behind their gag, the hero frowned.
"Do you know that I've made forty separate attempts to kidnap you in the past year? Ninety in the past two?"
What was happening clicked for the hero then. They shook their head in disbelief, blindly shuffling back across the concrete.
The villain couldn't seriously be considering this. It was a joke, it - it had to be.
The hero tried talking some sense into them but it all came out muffled. And even if they had gotten the words out...something wasn't right: the hero felt fuzzy. Weighed down. The villain picked them up and the hero felt they couldn't even resist, limbs thick as lead and thoughts growing clouded.
Oh no.
Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no.
The villain wasn't just considering, they were doing it. They'd been set on it the whole time - they'd drugged the water.
"I hope you don't mind. I mean, it's just too easy: how could I not?"
The villain shifted the hero's weight across their shoulders casually, taking a step forwards in what the hero assumed to be the direction of the door. Sleep was overcoming them quickly now and, in their dreary state, the hero honestly couldn't tell if this was better or worse. Better right? Surely better - anything was better than the supervillain...
But, then again, what the other had said was true: they never had been taken captive by the villain before.
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Underworld Insomnia || 1 - B.Barnes
Character : Bucky × Psychiatrist Female!Reader
Summary: As a ruthless contract killer, Bucky is feared in the underworld of criminals. His opponents freeze when they see him, as he is feared among them. However, they don't know that he could be warm to only one person: his pshychiatrist. The only person who could make him fall asleep.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , -
Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi
Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Please let me know what your thoughts are. I'd love to hear your feedback. Thank you once again.
In the world of secret societies for underground criminals, there's a secret place for criminals to stay, a shop for criminals to buy their weapons, basically, criminals live like normal people but they can only go to places that are built for criminals.
That's the rule.
There's also a particular psychiatrist for criminals only. Since many of the criminals have demons in their minds.
For this job, Dr. Ben is the only person the criminals could go to and ask for advice and medicine so they could go to sleep. Most of them can sleep.
But the only person who has trouble is Bucky Barnes.
His name is enough to make everyone in the underworld shiver. His eyes are enough to make his opponents freeze.
Bucky is their answer if anyone wants a job done without any mistakes.
With the money from the job he finished, he could have a comfortable life for generations. But he doesn't need it because all he wants right now is to sleep.
"I tried what you told me. Work out until I'm tired, learn something new, clean all my weapons, upgrade my car, renovate my house with bulletproofing, sex," Bucky said while he lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling.
Dr. Ben kept writing while listening to his patient.
"I even went to pottery class, baking class, painting class, and sex," Bucky counted on his fingers.
"Still. Nothing works. I still can't sleep. It's been 7 years," Bucky said.
Dr. Ben, who kept writing, replied, "Yeah, you have mentioned sex multiple times."
"White noise, pink noise. In the end, I smashed the Bluetooth speaker. None of your methods work," Bucky said as he sat up and glared at Dr. Ben.
Dr. Ben adjusted his reading glasses. He remained calm, probably one of the few people not afraid even though Bucky was angry.
He clicked his pen and put the report on the table.
"Do you want to try reading fairy tale books?" Dr. Ben asked.
Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you joking with me?"
Dr. Ben replied, "Most of you people have a shitty childhood. Have shitty parents. Perhaps deep down, your kind wants something related to fulfilling your inner child."
Bucky exclaimed, "Woah, doctor, calm down. You're brutally honest here." He sighed, because he knew this method will failed like the rest. "Fine. I'll try." Then he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes.
Dr. Ben picked a children's book and started to read, he flipped through the pages, and began to read aloud, "Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy."
"Timothy was no ordinary mouse," Dr. Ben continued, "for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."
"Stop. Stop. It's so weird listening to you. Get someone else," Bucky interrupted, feeling uncomfortable.
Dr. Ben closed the book. "I'll get my apprentice."
Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You've got a new one?" He knew that none of Dr. Ben's employees stayed that long, given the fear of criminals who kept coming for therapy.
Dr. Ben adjusted his glasses. "She could tame Bruce Banner; I think she could do the same to you."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "Fine."
Dr. Ben got up from his seat and opened his office door. "Y/N, help me for a bit," he called out.
Bucky heard a melodious voice respond, "Yes?"
The door swung open, revealing a woman with a confident stride and a calm demeanor. She had striking eyes that seemed to hold a depth of understanding, framed by a cascade of dark hair that fell gracefully around her shoulders.
Her posture exuded poise and assurance, hinting at a quiet strength within. She carried herself in professional attire with an air of authority, yet there was warmth in her expression as she met Bucky's gaze.
As you approach your boss, he suddenly puts a children's book in your hand.
You look at him, puzzled. "Huh?"
Dr. Ben pointed at Bucky and explained, "This person can't sleep for years. So I want to see if reading a children's story could make him fall asleep."
Bucky huffs in frustration. As a top assassin in the underworld, it's humiliating if he can only fall asleep with a children's book. "Just do it."
You flinch, knowing the man in front of you is dangerous.
Dr. Ben pats your shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, he's just cranky. I'll be here too. I need to see if it's working or not."
"Okay," you respond, then sit in the chair near Bucky's couch.
Before opening the book, you can't help but notice the tattoos on his neck and hands.
"Are you done staring?" Bucky asks, irritation evident in his voice.
"Oh, right, I'm sorry," you apologize quickly. "I'll start reading. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy. Timothy was no ordinary mouse, for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."
As you continue reading, Bucky listens intently, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he tries to relax.
"Despite his small size," you continue, "Timothy dreamed of embarking on great adventures and proving himself to be the bravest mouse in all the land."
Bucky's tense expression begins to soften slightly as he listens to the soothing cadence of your voice.
"One day," you narrate, "a fierce dragon threatened the kingdom, causing panic among the inhabitants. But Timothy, undeterred by the danger, volunteered to confront the dragon and save his home."
Bucky's breathing starts to slow down as he gets engrossed in the tale, his earlier restlessness fading away.
"With unwavering courage," you go on, "Timothy faced the dragon, armed only with his wits and determination. And through his bravery and quick thinking, he managed to outsmart the fearsome beast and bring peace back to the kingdom."
As you reach the end of the story, Bucky's eyes grow heavy, and he finally begins to drift off to sleep, a sense of calm settling over him.
Dr. Ben watches silently, nodding in approval as he sees the story's effect on Bucky. It seems that, perhaps, there is power in the simplest of tales to soothe even the most troubled minds.
Bucky's eyes felt heavy. The childish story and your calm voice made him feel relaxed. Your voice seemed more effective than white noise in soothing his troubled mind. As he listened, the tension in his muscles gradually melted away, replaced by a sense of peace and tranquility.
Then Bucky opened his eyes, only to realize he wasn't in the same place in Dr. Ben's office anymore. He found himself on a bed inside an unknown room. Panic surged through him.
Had he been kidnapped?
It would bring shame to his name as the feared killer if true.
As he processed his surroundings, Bucky's hand instinctively went for his knife, ready to defend himself. But soon, he recognized the familiar surroundings of Dr. Ben's building. Relief washed over him, though he remained on edge.
A door creaked open, causing Bucky to tense, his grip tightening on the knife. But to his surprise, it was just Dr. Ben.
"Did you have a good sleep?" Dr. Ben asked calmly.
Bucky clicked his tongue in annoyance and massaged his shoulder. "No. Your methods didn't work. I'm still tired."
"Well, that's natural since you've been asleep for three days," Dr. Ben replied matter-of-factly.
Three days?!
He can't believe it, since he has only been able to sleep for one hour each night for the past seven years. Bucky's eyes widened in disbelief as he checked his phone, seeing the date and numerous missed calls and unread messages.
"It worked?" he muttered, incredulous. He had been able to sleep and hadn't even realized it.
Bucky's amazement lingered as he realized that he had slept for three whole days without even being aware of it. It was a stark contrast to the years of insomnia he had endured, struggling to find even a moment of rest.
The tension that had plagued his body for so long began to ebb away, replaced by a newfound sense of calmness and clarity. He couldn't deny the relief that washed over him, knowing that perhaps, just perhaps, there was hope for him yet.
Then, there was a knock on the door. It was you.
"How is he, doctor? Is he still asleep?" you asked, but you gasped when Bucky's intense gaze met yours.
Was he angry? Did he blame you for making him sleep for three days?
"Y/N, is it?" Bucky inquired.
You responded groggily, "Yes?"
Bucky got on his knees, his right hand resting on his left chest and his left hand reaching for you. He looked at you earnestly and asked, "Will you work for me?"
You were taken aback, as was Dr. Ben. Bucky's unexpected gesture felt like it could lead to a significant misunderstanding, resembling a proposal rather than a job offer.
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what about reader being stressed and feeling really bad due the amount of blood and how wild the murder happened in a mission and hotch comforts her?? i really love your work and i hope you write but of course it's okay if you are not comfortable with it!! though i crave some hurt/comfort right now 🥹 take care, we love you 🫶🏻🫶🏻
ty for requesting, i love u! fem!reader
You're used to depravity, but the body cannot truly desensitise itself from carnage. You shouldn't know the inside of a person like that, shouldn't be able to pinpoint gore with the accuracy of a mortician. You feel sick knowing what was supposed to be where. Enough blood to kick down the door and have it flood the hallway, stain your shoes with a permanent rust.
You turn away from the scene, sirens and shouting white noise, and leave blood footsteps like a breadcrumb trail down the paving stones, huge slabs of white grey printed by wet soles. You're just past the red flash of the ambulances when you freeze, your legs won't carry you. You've no choice but to sit down hard in the road.
There's just blood everywhere. No metaphor to soften the blow, no explanation. There was blood everywhere in the crime scene and it took less than ten minutes inside of it to be plastered with it too.
Blood and cold floor. The road is cold, maybe wet, seeping into your trousers. You put your hand down and feel the dirty bite of it pressing into your palm.
Considering his duties, Hotch finds you quickly. You'd know him from presence alone, but hiding hand is familiar on your back. He crouches down behind you.
"What's wrong?" he asks, second hand curling around your shirt. "You can't sit here. Can I help you up?"
You manage to get to your feet by yourself. Hotch walks you to a car like you're injured, leaning you against the hood. "What's wrong?" he asks.
You shake your head. This isn't some slasher flick where the blood is sugar syrup and everyone goes home, this is your life, that was somebody's life, and to be killed in such a violent way… nobody deserves that. Your arms twist around your stomach as your stomach twists into itself, churning.
Hotch watches you severely. Anyone might think he was pissed with your behaviour, but he isn't like that. He's probably pissed he can't immediately fix the problem, arms crossed against his chest, the font of his SWAT vest glaringly white. He's neat and official as always, but there's blood on his shoes.
You try to talk and it's like your lips are gummed shut, a hum with nothing intelligible as you lean forward.
Hotch gives in. He breathes out, the barest ghost of his cologne distracting you from the smell of rust as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. You curl your fingers into the strap of his vest, quick to press your face into his side, wherever you can that's softest.
"I know," he says quietly, his arms tightening around you. The slide of his sleeves against your shirt, the sound that it makes, feels loud as a bell.
You hadn't realised you were shaking. Hotch tries to wring it out of you one steady stroke of his hand at a time. You can imagine his viewpoint, your feeble position on the car and the white washed crime scene behind you. They'll be setting up the flood lights and taking photographs soon enough, no bodies to lay to rest, only gore to wash away.
"I didn't think we could save them," you confess into his shirt, ashamed.
When he replies, it's measured, as though he's thought about his response carefully in little time. "That's realistic. This case has been… heavy from the beginning."
Heavy isn't the word he would usually choose. He's talking to you, he knows exactly how you're feeling because he knows you well, and cares about you more, if his cheek pressed to your temple is anything to go off of. "I have to go coordinate," he says, his thumb rubbing with pressure into your shoulder blade, "I'm sorry. I'll get Reid to come sit with you in the SUV… Y/N, listen to me…" Hotch leans back, meeting your eyes. "There was nothing more we could do. I'm confident that you performed to the best of your ability. This outcome– this isn't what anyone wanted, and I'm sorry we couldn't fix it this time."
"I just don't get how you can do that to another person," you say. Why you'd want to. You're a profiler, and you know a wealth of information about what makes certain people act as they do, but you still can't empathise with the killer. It's too much; it's beyond explanation.
"That's a good thing." His hands squeeze the tops of your arms. "It is."
You look down at his shirt collar, thinking you probably don't deserve his comforting. This is your job, and tonight you couldn't do it. "Sorry I– I freaked out. I shouldn't have walked away."
"That's a good thing, too, in a way."
He offers you a small smile. You can't smile back, but Hotch doesn't mind, his hands falling down the lengths of your arms. His fingers tangle momentarily with yours.
Reid comes around to sit with you when Hotch leaves. He probably wouldn't have needed telling, your friend's hand curling over your shoulder protectively.
"You okay?" he asks.
You watch Hotch lead his jurisdiction of operations. Things aren't okay, you're far from it, but you trust that it'll get better with Hotch at the helm. Still, a bitter taste lingers.
"They won't be," you say, nodding to the crowd of people behind the rapidly erected barricade. At the very front is someone's mom.
"Not for a while." Spencer tries to lighten the mood, throwing you a life jacket. "You're his favourite, you know?"
You recall the subtle strength of Hotch's arms around you, the lean length of his torso and the warmth of his breath as he'd spoken in your ear. Without trying for it, your pulse calms. Your despair dulls to an ache.
"You think so?" you ask.
Hotch looks in your direction, checking on you. Spencer nods. "Definitely." He has a list of interrelated BAU statistics to prove it.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#criminal minds#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble
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Ballister's been through this many times. Ambrosius comes into his room, hysterical, to announce him of some ridiculous upper crust rule or ball or challenge that he's got to participate in. He knows the drill by now; listen to him, reassure him and help him get ready, be it brushing his hair or co-writing a speech for him to give.
The Goldenloin family puts up an act for people to show off Ambrosius and his many qualities every so often. He doesn't really care, not anymore. He used to panic alongside Ambrosius, when they were thirteen. He's seventeen, now, and the novelty of it has worn off — it's just kind of funny, really, to see his boyfriend suffer through hours and hours of whatever bullshit he's supposed to do now.
This upcoming event, however, is doing a number on Ambrosius's nerves. He's pacing back and forth the room, and he hasn't even looked at Ballister yet. His tic — the one in his left eye, is back, and his lips are red and swollen in the places where he's been bitting them. It's barely five am, and Ballister knows that this is going to be a long day.
"You're going to get nauseous if you keep spinning around, Amber" he tries to start the conversation, voice soft and words slow. Between them, Ambrosius has always been the worst when it comes to keeping his emotions under control. Ballister's learnt, by now, that sometimes it's just better to give him space.
"I'm nauseous already. Some spinning won't hurt, I'm sure" he snaps back, almost screaming. Ballister decides that talking to him won't be possible right now, and goes back to the project on his table, making sure to hold the screwdriver at the right angle.
After fifteen minutes or so, Ambrosius finally stops. He whines, letting his body weight drag him down on Ballister's mattress.
"What is it, this time?"
Ambrosius's silent, only whining a bit more after the question, like a wounded dog. That's new. He usually loves to go on rants about how everything is going to go wrong and how the whole world hates him in secret. Ballister puts down the tools, quickly scribbles down what he's supposed to do next to avoid future mistakes, and sits down next to his boyfriend, threading a hand through the other teen's hair.
They stay like that some minutes, Ballister working his way through the blond strands and Ambrosius simply lying there. Ballister's starting to think that he's fallen asleep, when Ambrosius finally speaks up, face still buried in pillows.
"They're marrying me off, Bal"
The world stops spinning.
Ballister goes static. His whole body freezes, and his heart stops beating. He can feel the blood on his veins going cold, so cold his bones feel stuck, too.
This was a expected situation, kind of. Captain Gloria, Ambrosius's mom, had been married off, too. She didn't like her husband in the slightest and they never talked to each other. Ambrosius told him all that.
She had also promised to keep her son away from that predicament. But Ballister knew better than to trust mothers. His own had abandoned him some years ago, after all.
"What... How? What?"
Ambrosius sits up, criss cross, hugging a pillow. He's such a kid. His eyes are already watery, and he's got a red nose, probably from slamming his face into the pillows.
"Not- well, not actually marrying me off. Mum doesn't want that, y'know" He shrugs, looking at his own hands. "But she can't really... just go against tradition, I guess. So, uh, there's going to be a tournament, figths, you know? And I know I'll probably win, she chose combat because she knows I'm good at it, but what if I don't win?"
He takes a deep breath, grunting. Ballister's brain is struggling to catch up, so he can't do much more than nod, encouraging his boyfriend to keep talking.
"It's not going to be like here, only us, cadets and students, where I know I will undoubtedly win. Actual grown ups could get in there, Ballister. My mom's been screaming to anyone and everyone about how ridiculous everything is, but- I guess rules are rules. I haven't slept. We stayed up all night on the phone, she tore down the whole family's library, called all of our lawyers, we tried every single article and law ever written. Nothing. The best we can do is... hope"
"The Captain's right. This is ridiculous, Ambrosius. What do you mean grown ups? Why? That's fucking creepy. Can't you guys just... say no? You're a Goldenloin, surely you-"
Ambrosius grunts, again, tugging at one of his hair strands.
"It's not that easy!" He screams, shutting Ballister up. "I've been getting proposals for... for forever! It's not really a matter of love as it is a matter of money, Bal. I've been getting proposals even from before I was actually born. Political alliances and all that. Mom's been doing her best, I know she has, but when a heir has said "no" enough times, then a duel or something can be called up, and an actual tournament would be way easier than just fighting every single idiot that wants to get my last name!"
Ballister's never been happier to be an orphan commoner than right now. His only worry when it comes to marriage is whether or not he can afford a pretty ring.
It's not like commoners don't marry for money. Arranged marriages were a pretty common thing around him, young kids marrying older people to try and get their families ahead, forced by their parents, their "spouses" or their economical situations. He just... never really had to worry about it, ever since he became a knight.
"That's incredibly fucked up, Ambrosius"
"I know ! I am well aware of how weird this must be for you, Bal. And I have absolutely no backup plan. My mom's confident that I'm winning, because Goldenloins never lose, but I'm not her! She can still beat me when we spar together, what am I going to do if someone else wins? Just... get married?"
Trying to come up with a solution, Ballister stutters and stammers his way through a sentence.
"You could, uh, get married and have a divorce, right?"
"No! Totally no! You don't get it! Whoever wins gets to ask whatever they want from my family, money, land, my hand- whatever, and then that's irrevocable!"
Stressed out, Ballister screechs. Of course he doesn't get it. No one ever bothered to explain this to him. He knew that parents could force their kids to marry (Captain Gloria once told him the story, very drunk and very mad at her departed dad) but not that a whole fucking event could be staged even if the family said no.
"It's not my fault I don't get it, you twat! Do you think the knigth training automatically gave me political marriage bullshit training, too? Well, no, it didn't! I'm so sorry for not knowing you weird ass nobility traditions, Ambrosius, I didn't realize I was supposed to!"
Getting up from the bed, mad at the world for being unfair and at himself for snapping, he runs his hands through his hair, with the impulse to simply rip it all off. It quickly gets replaced by guilt. Ambrosius has done nothing wrong, and here he is, being an asshole instead of helping.
"Amber... Shit, I'm sorry. This is just-"
Chuckling humorlessly, Ambrosius waves his hand in the air. He looks up at Ballister, and shakes his head.
"You're right. Sorry. I just forgot. I always do"
They already went through this, too. Ambrosius is good at keeping Ballister up to date, always happy to explain the situation, but sometimes things just... slip his mind. It isn't anyone's fault, but it's still annoying when it happens.
"Sorry, too. For calling you a twat"
Ballister leans down, tentatively. Ambrosius doesn't hesitate to lift himself up, and they share a quick kiss. All is forgiven.
"So... what now?"
Silently, they both try their best to think. Ballister's mind is blank, just screaming at him to get a sword and go decapitate however wrote the fuckin rules. He ignores that voice, per usual. The fucker's probably dead, by now, anyway.
Ambrosius is the one who gasps, and smiles all of the sudden, so bright that the sun should be jealous. He bounces on the bed a couple of times, clapping to get his boyfriend's attention.
"We're both idiots!"
Ballister frowns, confused. An awkward smile is all he can offer Ambrosius, wondering if his man finally went crazy.
"I see no correlation between our supposed idiocy and the problem at hand, Amber."
"Come on, Bal! This is easy. I have the best plan" he giggles, like a kid that just got a new toy. Ballister can tell that this plan probably will suck and get them in more danger than necessary. And he's so on board. Always on board, when it comes to Ambrosius.
"Which is?"
"You!" Exclaims Ambrosius, rolling his eyes. "You're my plan"
"Excuse me?"
"You're going to compete and win, Bal"
Perhaps he never should've become a knight, that way he never would've fallen in love with this absolute trainwreck of a man. Is it too late to go back to being a random kid and forget about all this? Probably.
#goldenheart#nimona movie#ballister nimona#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister boldheart#nimona (2023)#ambrosius nimona#ambrosius x ballister#nimona#ballister blackheart#i should be doing homework#forced marriaged but he's trying to save his boyfriend from it#tournament au
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Starfall (commission)
— PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader
— SUMMARY: Ever since he was a kid, Patrick always had everything he wanted. Always egoistical and entitled, he always took everything he had for granted. But what happens when one day his entire world falls apart when he receives a call?
— CONTAINS: Patrick Bateman's POV and no other warnings in order to avoid spoilers!😏
— WORDS: 2.3k
— A/N: Writing Patrick's POV was such a rollercoaster experience for me, so I want to thank a person who asked me to write this commission. Love you guys, I hope you like it!💗
— LINKS: [MASTERLIST] [COMMISSIONS] [AO3] [buy me a coffee]💓
The sudden knock on my office door made me frown in annoyance, as I was in the middle of listening to the new Phil Collins tape. Slowly, I removed my headphones and turned to look at Jean, her expression was something between sorrow and shock.
"What is it?" I ask, straightening my red tie.
"P-Patrick... I got a call from..."
Jesus, why do women always need to be so slow?
"A call from?" I repeated, crossing my arms in a mannerly way, without missing a chance to check my gold Rolex.
"From the hospital." She blurted out quickly before dropping her head.
I still didn't understand why she looked so sad, so I leaned back in my chair and let out a tired sigh.
"So you interrupted me because some asshole dialed the wrong number?" I pointed at my phone, enjoying the way she got embarrassed. "When I have a break, it means I don't exist to anyone, even you, Jean. How many times have I told you that?"
"It's about (y/n)," something heavy fell in my stomach. "They called to say that she got in a car accident, and they found your office number in her wallet."
Her words hit me harder than a truck, and I could swear I felt my blood freeze in my veins from the creeping fear. Fear of losing you. I stood up before even thinking about it, my hands shaking, but I tried my best to keep my cool.
"Patrick." Jean muttered as she watched me put on my coat.
"Where is she?"
"Can I come with you? I want to help."
"WHERE IS SHE?" I didn't even notice my voice getting loud, but when I saw Jean's frightened glance, a shaky breath escaped my lungs and I closed my eyes for a second. "Sorry."
"I... it's okay, I understand." She carefully handed me my scarf, which had accidentally fallen, and I hadn't even noticed. "I wrote down the address."
In addition to my scarf, she gave me a piece of paper with her note, I could barely control myself now that I realized what was happening was real.
"Thank you, Jean." I mumble, buttoning my coat and taking my briefcase. "For everything."
The taxi ride took only 20 minutes, but to me it felt like an eternity, and when I finally saw the outline of the hospital, I let out a nervous breath and got out of the car. I paid the taxi driver double what I had to, but I didn't care.
With every step I took, my heart was about to burst through my rib cage, it was beating so fast that it even hurt, and I felt so helpless and miserable under the weight of circumstances that I found it difficult to even open the main door.
Inside the hospital, time seemed to stop for me. I looked around, trying not to panic, and rushed to the reception desk, almost bumping into a nurse on the way.
The receptionist noticed my anxiety and overtook me, asking in a calm voice, "How can I help you, sir?"
"I... I'm looking for (y/n). I was informed that she's here." I said hesitantly, leaning on the reception desk.
"One moment, please." The middle-aged lady replied, fixed her glasses and picked up the phone to make a call.
To be fair, I tried not to listen to what she was saying, doing my best to distract myself from thinking about the worst, as if the worst hadn't already happened. Fuck, I'm such a mess.
"Sir?"
I shrugged at the receptionist's voice and cleared my dry throat. "Sorry. What did you say?"
"The patient you asked about. Her condition is stable now, but she's in a coma. And we can't say when she'll—"
"Can I see her?" I interrupted, my emotions finally taking over.
The lady sighed, but said nothing.
"Please," the grief and despair were eating me from the inside, and I was about to lose myself at any moment. "I need to see her and talk to the doctor!"
"I completely understand your feelings, sir," she held out her hand in a reassuring gesture. "I'll see what I can do. Please wait here."
In a few minutes I was walking down the long, dimly lit corridor, accompanied by several nurses. I had never been more scared in my life, I could feel my heartbeat pounding against my ears as my blood rushed through my veins as if I were about to jump off the top of the Empire State Building.
When one of the nurses stopped near the door to what I assumed was your medical room, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds. No, I was not prepared for what awaited me behind that door, but was it possible to be prepared at all?
Suffocating, I managed to open the door and walked in, all my insides tightened the moment I saw you lying on the hospital bed, your face looked so peaceful, even with the oxygen mask on, you were like a sleeping beauty.
At first I didn't know what to do, so I just stood by the door for a while, and only then did I dare to approach your small, motionless form. Cautiously, as if afraid to wake you up, I sat down next to your bed and I thought my eyes were already beginning to water.
"Hello, dear." I murmured sadly, slowly running my hand along the edge of the bed. "I... I'm here now, and everything's going to be okay. I promise you."
I felt stupid because I knew you couldn't hear me, but still, my urge to assure you that everything would be fine didn't seem strange to me. I brushed away a single tear that ran down my cheek, which you always loved to stroke, and looked at your face, wishing for a moment that I could remove this mask and press my lips to yours. I damned myself for not doing it more often when you were around. God, why did I always have to be so stubborn and arrogant?
"(Y/n), you've always been so kind to me, and you've never asked for anything in return… and I probably didn't appreciate it as much as I should have." I paused when my trembling hand found yours, and then I stared down at it. Every time I noticed how tiny your palm was compared to mine, it made something inside of me quiver.
Cursing myself, I sobbed pathetically and squeezed your hand. "And you never tried to change me or fix me, you accepted me as I am, but... but you never knew what terrible things I did! Jesus!" I was getting hysterical, but now I could no longer hide my emotions. Hateress cursed through my body, burning me like a glowing iron.
"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry that I wasn't completely open with you! I just didn't want you to know all the shit I've done in my fucking life!" As I continued to confess, both my arms now wrapped around your fragile frame, I laid my head on your chest, feeling your steady breathing. "Please don't go... I can't do this alone."
The beeping of the medical equipment mixed with my own whimpering, and the whole word seemed to be reduced to this small medical room, where a psycho like me was drowning in the swamp of grief.
"Maybe I'm a sick guy, but I need you more than I ever imagined," I gritted my teeth in disgust. "God damn it! I'm so fucking selfish, even now I only think about myself... I'm so fucking—"
The sound of the door opening made me almost choke. Hesitantly, I fixed my disheveled hair and wiped away my tears before turning around to see a guy who was probably a doctor, and I expected nothing but the worst. When I noticed his relaxed expression, I frowned and almost pleaded:
"Tell me she's going to be okay."
The doctor paused and looked through the papers in his hands. "According to our tests, we expect her condition to get better in a few days."
A small drop of sweat fell from my forehead the moment I heard those words. With a sigh of relief, I quickly got up from the chair and stumbled over to the doctor.
"Thank you," I managed to say, trying to shake his hand, but my body did not seem to listen to me. "If you need anything, let me know. I'll do everything I can."
The doctor nodded. I sat next to you again and mumbled that you were going to be okay. The way I was talking reminded me of the times when you couldn't sleep, and I lulled you by telling you stories where we would run away and finally be alone together. In the end, that would happen, I wouldn't let anything take that away from us, and even if I had to go to hell, I would do it.
"I'll always be here, love," I murmured, kissing the top of your palm. "Please come back."
One of the reasons I was really proud of my apartment was the view, even if it didn't overlook the park, you loved it and that was all that mattered.
Trapped in my thoughts, I stood next to the wide window in my living room and watched the night city through the open blinds. I could still feel your sweet scent on my skin, I could still hear the lewd sounds of us making love just a moment ago. Smiling, I closed my eyes and returned to the pleasurable images in my head, even though you were only a few feet away, lying in my big bed, I already missed you, but I would never tell you that.
I didn't know how long I stayed like this, but when I noticed your half-naked figure in the doorway of my bedroom, I gasped because I couldn't resist how beautiful you were, especially when you looked at me like that, with your deer-like, devoted eyes.
"Can't sleep?" You asked me, yawning a little and hugging yourself.
I grinned again, hiding my hands in the pockets of my gray sweatpants. "I'm just trying to understand why do you find this view so special," I crooned in a seductive voice. "But since you're awake, maybe you'll explain it to me?"
You gave me a mischievous grin, and I didn't even have to beckon you over as you slowly approached me, wrapped your elegant arms around my torso, and I purred in response. I didn't really like hugs, but when it came to YOU, it was a different story.
"Well, usually at night you can see some shooting stars," you murmured, still pressed against my chest. "And every time it happens, I make a wish."
For God's sake! Your naivety and innocence always struck a chord in my heart, making me grin like an idiot, though I was glad you couldn't see me right now, as I held you close, stroking your back and breathing in your scent, which had become so tranquilizing to me.
"Oh! Look!" You suddenly exclaimed, moving closer to the window. "A falling star!"
"Where?"
"Right there!" You took my hand and pointed to the spot in the midnight sky.
I laughed, admiring how excited you were, sometimes I thought you would never grow up and that was something cute, I could even say I was really jealous because I never allowed myself to act like that.
"Patrick, we should make a wish!"
"Like what?"
"Just think of something that you want to come true," you continued to bubble, frowning a bit as you probably were thinking about the list of wishes you might have. "Think, Patrick!"
Your childish attitude made me sigh as I rolled my eyes. "All right, all right. I want this moment to last forever."
"Why did you say that out loud?" You suddenly grumbled and broke out of my embrace. "It won't work if you say your wish out loud, didn't you know that?"
"Honestly, I don't believe in such things," I moved closer to hug you again, but you pushed me away jokingly, your pretty lips pouted. "Oh, honey, c'mon! I can't take this seriously!"
"Then I'll leave you here alone to think about it." You stuck out your tongue teasingly and slowly moved away from me.
"Besides, I already have everything I want," I chuckled smugly, feeling a bit turned on by the way you swayed your hips. "You know what I mean."
"Maybe..." You purred, making your voice sound even more seductive, before disappearing into the darkness behind me.
Only with you did I realize that I had always lived for emotions, that I had done so many terrible things because I was a sucker for the adrenaline. And you were my strongest addiction, but not one that killed, but one that freed me from my fears, my demons, my sins.
Shaking slightly, I let out a loud gasp as I felt a searing pain cut me from the inside like a fan of knives. Then I turned back to the window and saw my own reflection. I blinked several times, feeling the tears weeping in my empty eyes.
"(Y/n)?" When I called your name and no one answered, I almost fell to my knees.
My wounded heart started to bleed, as once again I was alone. Sobbing, I pressed my head against the cold glass and let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. And there was nothing left for me to do but hold on to the warm memories of those days.
The days when you were here with me.
P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!
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