#interpersonal communication

[waspsinyouryard]

The tragic reality of Tumblr is that I am presumably supposed to actually interact with other users but I just don't feel like it ever

#tumblr #social interaction #interpersonal communication

[femmefatalevibe]

Any idea to know what to do and say in terms of conflict?

Depersonalize others' comments & actions

Perceive the person's intentions – are they seeking war or peace?

If their intentions are sound, enter the conversation with the mindset of two individuals vs. a problem – decouple their humanity, emotions, wants, and needs from external factors & situations

Seek to understand, not win through your conversation

Approach the conversation from a solutions-oriented POV

Remember that compromise means both parties walk away happy or at least content with the outcome – self-sacrifice has no place in conflict resolution or negotiation

Hope this helps xx

#conflict resolution #interpersonal skills #interpersonal communication #interpersonal relationships #people skills #work culture #relationship tips #friend advice #interpersonal effectiveness #self confidence #communication skills #femmefatalevibe #q/a #social skills #assertive communication #self improvement

[reasonsforhope]

If you’re like most people, your own thoughts and experiences may be your favorite topic of conversation. On average, people spend 60 percent of conversations talking about themselves—and this figure jumps to 80 percent when communicating via social media platforms such as Twitter or Facebook.

Why, in a world full of ideas to discover, develop, and discuss, do people spend the majority of their time talking about themselves? Recent research suggests a simple explanation: because it feels good.

In order to investigate the possibility that self-disclosure is intrinsically rewarding, researchers from the Harvard University Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab utilized functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI)...

[Two of the brain] regions identified by this experiment... had never before been associated with thinking about the self: the nucleus accumbens (NAcc) and the ventral tegmental area (VTA), both parts of the mesolimbic dopamine system.

These newly implicated areas of the brain are generally associated with reward, and have been linked to the pleasurable feelings and motivational states associated with stimuli such as sex, cocaine, and good food. Activation of this system when discussing the self suggests that self-disclosure, like other more traditionally recognized stimuli, may be inherently pleasurable—and that people may be motivated to talk about themselves more than other topics (no matter how interesting or important these non-self topics may be)...

These results suggest that self-disclosure—revealing personal information to others—produces the highest level of activation in neural regions associated with motivation and reward, but that introspection—thinking or talking about the self, in the absence of an audience—also produces a noticeable surge of neural activity in these regions. Talking about the self is intrinsically rewarding, even if no one is listening.

Talking about the self is not at odds with the adaptive functions of communication. Disclosing private information to others can increase interpersonal liking and aid in the formation of new social bonds—outcomes that influence everything from physical survival to subjective happiness.

Talking about one’s own thoughts and self-perceptions can lead to personal growth via external feedback. And sharing information gained through personal experiences can lead to performance advantages by enabling teamwork and shared responsibility for memory. Self-disclosure can have positive effects on everything from the most basic of needs—physical survival—to personal growth through enhanced self-knowledge; self-disclosure, like other forms of communication, seems to be adaptive.

You may like to talk about yourself simply because it feels good—because self-disclosure produces a burst of activity in neural regions associated with pleasure, motivation, and reward.  But, in this case, feeling good may be no more than a means to an end—it may be the immediate reward that jump-starts a cycle of self-sharing, ultimately leading to wide varieties of long-term benefits.” -via Scientific American, 7/6/13

#talking #interpersonal communication #communication #neuroscience #scientific experiment #happiness #mental health #survival #psychology #good news #hope #older news but the good news is human nature doesn't change that fast

[goblinofthelaboratory]

question about socializing:

i've noticed that when holding a conversation with someone, they usually reply shortly, almost like backchanneling. if i don't continue monologuing, the conversation tends to stop. i try to give hooks, prompts, and questions for the other person to respond to, but this doesn't seem to make a difference, answers are still short and don't provide much to expand on. if i don't talk, little conversation happens. this feels like im making all the effort in the conversation, which is frustrating. i also typically initiate.

Am i just annoying and boring? is there something im missing here? how do i increase engagement?

#questions #please help #social pragmatic communication disorder #socially awkward #socializing #interpersonal relationships #interpersonal skills #interpersonal communication #i dont know what to do #neurodivergent #social rules

[queer-for-science]

Don't let anyone guilt trip you into not asking for reciprocity in your social relationships. It is good and healthy and normal to have a give/take on both sides of those interactions. Sometimes it will be more on your end and sometimes it will be more on theirs but you both get to set boundaries around how much you're willing to give without receiving. Every relationship will have times when the social workload is 80/20 or 70/30 instead of 50/50 but that should not be all the time (save for a few exceptions like parent-child relationships or caretaking for someone who cant do so themselves, in which case thats expected and okay). All social animals, humans included, evolved social behavior to take care of each other through reciprocity and that resulted in the love we show each other. Don't settle for relationships that don't show that love.

So if your friends or partners or whatever try to respond to you asking for effort to be put into the relationship with something like "so this is just transactional to you?" Or "so you're only with me if I give you something?" Don't fall for that shit. Because in most cases, yes, it is normal and healthy to ask that our relationships be reciprocal in some way at some point. It is healthy to want love in return for the love you give. And that doesn't make your relationships cold or transactional. It makes you a social animal.

#interpersonal skills #interpersonal communication #interpersonal relationships #mental health recovery #mental health awareness #mental health #healing #self healing

[smeetlinglord]

I've grown to stop giving too many fucks away to schmucks on the internet, but not enough outside of it, face-to-face. This is not to say I have undeveloped, poorly developed or even less-than-well developed social navigation skills; instead I mean that I am good, but I want to be really good, perhaps even great with people.

#social skills #navigation #navigating #skillful #op #i'm traumatized #flat fuck friday #dearman #dbt skills #dbt #interpersonal skills #interpersonal communication #emotional regulation #trauma informed #generational trauma #actually bpd #autistic adult #disabled #chronic pain #chronic illness #ehlers danlos syndrome #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #median arcuate ligament syndrome #borderline personality disorder #i love people #i love talking #message me #make more friends #work together #be more trusting

[bigbroadvice]

hi! this is perhaps a silly one, but any tips for dealing with anxiety with regards to friendships? to elaborate, i know logically my friends do care about me, and that i care about them, but for some reason the past little while ive been getting mad anxiety spikes about if they really want me around or not. Anyway, since i know deep down this is ridiculous and yet the anxiety remains do you have any tips for getting rid of it? im just concerned that it could end up causing actual problems for the friendships, if that makes sense. Thank you for your time, hope you have a nice day! (also would like to add, my friends are wonderful people and i love them to bits, which is why i care so much about fixing this :))

Hey friend, I’ve struggled with this one too. For me, being open and honest and encouraging others to do so as well is probably the most helpful thing. When I’ve been hanging out for a while with a friend and I start getting worried that maybe they’re tired or kind of need to get to some other things, I ask. And not in a “am I boring you to tears? Are you sick of me?” kind of way that only really gives them one valid option without sounding like an asshole, but in a casual “hey, just checking in. How’s your social battery doing? When do you need to leave by?” kind of way where whatever answer they give, it’s not a reflection of the state of our friendship, it’s just a practical “nah, I don’t have anywhere to be till 9, or yeah, it’s been a long day and I’m kind of spent.”

This kind of thing works pretty well for most anxieties I get about how things are going with friends. Just ask in a way that lets them answer honestly without worrying about hurting your feelings. And yeah, once people get into the practice of really being honest with eachother, occasionally they’ll say a thing that’s kind of makes you feel a bit deflated, but at least now you know and even a dissapointing answer that stings a little is drastically easier to deal with than the billion horror scanarios your brain can come up with to stress over.

If you really can’t stop thinking about it, even after they’ve told you it’s all good, and it’s causing significant anxiety, you may want to get checked out for OCD. A friend of mine has it and this is a thing she deals with a lot where a thought will get stuck in her head and no amount of reassurance can make her stop stressing about it. She has meds and things that help though.

#big bro advice #my ​friend an I have this maxim that what actually is is never as bad as what could be #because it could be a billion different improbable things #but reality can only be one thing at a time #mental health #friends #ocd #ocd tag #anxiety #friendship #friendship advice #friendship anxiety #interpersonal skills #interpersonal communication #neurodivergent community #communication

[alchemisoul]

It's important to be delicate and selective about when it is appropriate to say, "I'm sorry". If you haven't done anything wrong, you can find other diplomatic ways to resolve interpersonal conflict without accepting the burden of responsibility for harm you have not inflicted.

That being said, there's nothing more childish and insufferable than grown adults who have accumulated a track record over time of refusing to apologize, take ownership for their transgressions, and closely covet their infallibility at all costs.

We all have to choose which hills are worth dying on but if the survival of an interpersonal relationship hangs on a thread and requires you to consistently cede ground and take the hit without exception, then you're being mistreated and taken advantage of.

In these cases, for the sake of your own self-respect, you have to make the decision to either set strict and appropriate boundaries perhaps with family members and closely interconnected friends - or run like hell if it's a romantic partner.

#writing #just my thoughts #whatever i was feeling at the time #interpersonal relationships #interpersonal communication #relationships #communication

[blueish-bird]

Trying to tell jokes to kids is hard because there’s a high likelihood they don’t have the base knowledge required to understand the joke. To try to account for this, tell them a “fun fact” first and then ask if they want to hear a joke.

#working with kids #jokes #I’m trying to Be Funny again — so far adulthood has drained me and caused my comedic sensibilities to stagnate #meposting #interpersonal communication #social scripts

[mstornadox]

Had one of those frustrating conversations today where it feels like you are fighting with the other person even though you both agree. But our reactions are diametrically opposed, ratcheting up the tension.

Me: I want to share my experience with X because it happens to everyone.

Them: Everyone experiences X.

Me: Yes.

Them: No, you don’t get it. X happens to everyone.

Me: Yes, I know. Isn’t that great?

Them: … It happens to everyone. We all experience this.

Me: Yes!

Them: It does not make you special.

Me: I know. I had a normal thing happen to me.

Them: …

Me (thinking of saying: If we both agree that X happens to everyone, why are we fighting?): …

At this point, both parties are seething in disagreement. We are speaking at each other instead of with each other. It’s no longer about X. The conversation has turned into “why doesn’t the other person understand what I mean? They just don’t get it.”

I never know how to end these types of emotionally charged interactions. Or how to defuse the tension.

Gah

#odd conversations #conversations that feel like arguments #interpersonal communication #using tumblr as my diary again

[waspsinyouryard]

Whenever people go on an interaction spree with my profile, I try to return the favor? But I end up being really stingy with my reblogs even though I'm literally trying my hardest to interact so it kinda sucks?

#tumblr #interpersonal communication #i did not anticipate #using this particular tag so often

[femmefatalevibe]

Babes I need tips on how not to take things personally. I take criticism very personally and I think because of it I will never be good enough

Distinguish and place different criticisms in two buckets:

Constructive criticism

Deconstructive criticism

For constructive criticism:

Decouple the criticism of a work assignment, conversation, behavior, or decision from your personhood. Approach your perception of the criticism as 4 distinct elements:

You

The other person/group of people

Your demonstrated work product or behavior

The feedback on said work product or behavior

Consider constructive criticism as an opportunity for self-reflection, learning, and growth. If you instinctually ask yourself: "How did I do this wrong/why did I mess up?", consider asking yourself these more productive, growth-oriented questions instead:

What "mistakes" did I make that I can learn from? How can I prevent a situation like this from happening again?

How can I use the outcome/feedback from this situation to do better next time and going forward?

What can I do in the future to set myself up to win?

Are there any new habits/skills I can learn or books I can read/courses and programs I can enroll in to significantly grow in this area?

For deconstructive criticism:

Remember others' unnecessary criticism is usually a projection of their own emotions, experiences, and life stressors. Their behavior is a reflection of them, not you

Practice emotional differentiation: Accept and validate where the other person's emotions/experiences end & your feelings and personhood begin

If you begin to question your worth or positive traits, objectively evaluate the situation and interaction you had. Separate the objective facts and logistics from the emotional reactions/responses or subjective meaning you believe they hold. Don't gaslight yourself. Stick to the facts, accept your emotions, reflect, and move forward

Hope this helps xx

#emotional regulation #emotional maturity #emotional intelligence #mental wellbeing #people skills #boundaries #self concept #self confidence #differentiation #professionalism #interpersonal skills #interpersonal relationships #interpersonal communication #q/a #femmefatalevibe

[its-fnaf-time-bitches]

One thing we've learned in life is to focus on three things in a confrontation

1. What exactly is the problem? (Specfifcs are important, is a need not being met? Did the other hurt you? Etc)

2. what can we both do to make sure this situation either doesn't happen again or mitigate it as best we can

3. What can we do right now to help?( Is there some way of meeting a need right now? Anything we need to say or hear? Affirmations of care? Explaining intention? Etc)

Life gets easier when you stop thinking of it as "if I did something bad then the other person bringing it up is calling me a bad person, and if im confronting someone it's not cause I want a solution its cause I want punishment" to

"I wanna make this person content and if there's a problem then it's me and them vrs the problem, I understand good people can sometimes hurt people we care about and that's not a reflection of moral character but something that unfortunately happens and something we want to deal with as painlessly as possible"

#cassidy posts 🔮 #mental health #communication #healthy communication #interpersonal communication #toxic relationship #toxic family

[melcatshenanigans]

Looking for more English/history/medieval history/communications majors, students, and/or enthusiasts to interact with.

I'd love to have more people to nerd out with and see more of that content on my feed.

If this applies to you, like this post so I can check out your page ❤️

#college #academia aesthetic #morning routine #studyblr #study motivation #chaotic academia #reading #currently reading #lore #english literature #english #communications #mass communication #interpersonal communication #intrapersonal communication #history #medieval #medieval history #college student #student life #major

[growingwithem]

These have been a bit difficult days... Getting out of your comfort zone and realizing that interpersonal relationships work in an unhealthy and dishonest way, that gossip, talking behind the back of the other, diplomacy or hypocrisy is a common way of coexistence to survive despite our differences... it has been a bucket of cold water. I thought it was something optional and contextual, but I'm starting to think that's the way human coexistence works.

Coming here for a moment and seeing how my gifs are reaching more people is like a comforting hug. Knowing that I can make a person from anywhere in the world smile by sharing common tastes with me are things about human coexistence that I want to treasure. Thanks for that ❤️‍🩹

#mine #tumblr #mental health #human connection #relationship #relationships #interpersonal communication #interpersonal relationships #gossip #diplomacy #hypocrisy #society #thoughts #words #writing

[dwoistosc]

#psychology #psychologia #defende mechanisms #manipulation #interpersonal communication