#conflict resolution | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

safe-haven-safe-place · 1 year

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#mental health #relationship advice #conflict resolution #healthy relationships #repair #apologizing

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in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine · 6 months

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alwaysbewoke · 4 months

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#sudan crisis #civil war #abdelfattah alburhan #mohamed hamdandagalo #humanitarian crisis #peacebuilding #conflict resolution #international response #regional powers #sudanese people #conflict intervention #bashir regime #military coup #political unrest #human rights #crisis management #diplomatic efforts #peace process #international community

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k-wame · 8 months

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тнιѕ ѕceɴe ιѕ ѕo ɢood αɴd тrυe тo lιғe ѕтoɴeмoυтн (2015) · ѕ𝟷·ᴇ𝟶𝟷 · 𝟶𝟾.𝟶𝟼.𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟻

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thepeacefulgarden · 1 year

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#communication #fighting fairly #relationships #constructive anger #kindness #mental health #healthy relationships #conflict resolution

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femmefatalevibe · 5 months

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Any idea to know what to do and say in terms of conflict?

Depersonalize others' comments & actions

Perceive the person's intentions – are they seeking war or peace?

If their intentions are sound, enter the conversation with the mindset of two individuals vs. a problem – decouple their humanity, emotions, wants, and needs from external factors & situations

Seek to understand, not win through your conversation

Approach the conversation from a solutions-oriented POV

Remember that compromise means both parties walk away happy or at least content with the outcome – self-sacrifice has no place in conflict resolution or negotiation

Hope this helps xx

#conflict resolution #interpersonal skills #interpersonal communication #interpersonal relationships #people skills #work culture #relationship tips #friend advice #interpersonal effectiveness #self confidence #communication skills #femmefatalevibe #q/a #social skills #assertive communication #self improvement

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borderlinereminders · 2 years

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I screwed up and now have to apologize/make it right. Now what?

Okay, first of all, take a breath. When we mess up, it can be really hard on us and send us into a guilt spiral. Take a moment and remind yourself that you are human and humans make mistakes. Remind yourself that you are not a bad person. If you are having urges, please check out my post on urge surfing. If you are feeling in crisis, a skill like TIPP may help ground you.

If you are in the middle of a situation with someone, it's still okay to walk away. “I need to take some space to get control of my thoughts. I’m not trying to avoid this or walk away but I want to have a clear head.”

When you're feeling more calm, move on to the next step.

Apologizing

Apologies can be really hard. We're often told not to "ruin an apology" with excuses, but it can be so much more complicated than that. One of the first things I keep in mind about apologies is that explanations and excuses are not the same thing. Here is an example post I wrote of a personal situation where you can see an "explanation" apology instead of an "excuse" one.

It's not okay to say "I'm sorry I screamed at you and insulted you but I wouldn't have if you hadn't done -insert reason here-." This is not a real apology, and it puts the blame on the other person for being screamed at or upset they were screamed at. It's valid to talk about your feelings that led to the situation, but they shouldn't be conveyed in your apology like that.

What you could say is "I'm sorry I screamed at you and insulted you." But you could also say "I'm sorry I screamed at you and insulted you. I was feeling frustrated but it wasn't right to scream at you and insult you." While a lot of people say the first one is "right", I do think the second one is also okay because sometimes an explanation can make it easier to apologize, or sometimes open the door for a bigger conversation (if the other person is in a headspace for it) or can be crucial to not disregarding your own feelings (which are valid, even if the way you responded to them wasn't.)

A lot of this depends on the relationship itself as well. The latter one works for my partner and me, as seen in the example post I shared above. It doesn't mean it will work with everyone, in fact, it could make some people feel dismissed or invalidated. It's good to communicate when you're both calm about what some of the best ways to navigate situations like apologies are.

Some other things to remember about apologies are while a lot of people say that it's okay to express how badly you feel, there is a fine line. Sometimes, even though we do genuinely feel torn up about something we've said/done, it's not good to convey that in a way that can lead to the other person needing to comfort us or feeling they need to put their feelings aside for our well-being. Saying things like "I'm sorry I screamed at you and insulted you. I feel really bad that I did that because you didn't deserve it" are okay. But saying something like "I'm sorry I screamed at you. I feel so bad. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to handle this because I feel so guilty. I'm a terrible person and don't deserve your forgiveness" isn't really okay.

The feelings can be really overwhelming, and I get that and see how those guilt spiral apologies can happen but they end up pushing the other person to accept your apology even if they're not ready just to make sure you're okay.

After the apology

Okay, you've apologized. Now what? Well, it largely depends on what the other person is feeling. If they want some space to think, calm down or just breathe, then you should give them that. (Please note that there is a difference between someone needing space to process vs someone wanting space to avoid accountability for their part in things.)

Phrases like “It’s not fair of me to say what I said/do what I did and expect things to just be fine. I’m here when you want to discuss this further.” might be helpful

The other person is not obligated to accept your apology or offer forgiveness, but please note that this doesn't mean you should continue to beat yourself up.

When the other person is ready to talk to you, it's your turn to listen and hear them out (as long as they are talking to you in a calm manner. Regardless of what you did, they still shouldn't be attacking you.). Even if you don't agree with what they're saying, hear them out. Let them talk about their feelings. Sticking with our example, maybe they felt afraid when you screamed at them. Allow them the space to talk about that.

When they're done talking, now is the time where it might be time to communicate about things as a whole on how you can both do better in the future.

Maybe you screamed at them because they ate your food out of the fridge without asking, again. While your feelings are valid, you can still apologize for the hurtful things you said (like the insults in our example) but still communicate about the larger issue. In a case like this, using the DEAR MAN method might be helpful.

If this is a situation where you recognize you are completely at fault like say for example, you took out a bad mood/day on them, then this might be the point where you talk about working on things to do better. This might include talking about some coping skills you plan to use in the future, or even talking to them about ways they could support you if they're able to.

While you can't promise to never do it again, making an effort and plan to change and do better is important.

At the end of the day, remember it’s okay to make mistakes. You aren’t a bad person for them. Please don’t continue to beat yourself up.

#apologies #please note this is all my personal opinion #like none of this is fact #so take it with a grain of salt #i'm not a professional #this is just how i handle apologies #relationship advice #communication tips #conflict resolution

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six-demon-bag · 1 year

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#psychiatrist to rival hannibal #conflict resolution #sure its resolved through violence but whos counting #mcu #cacw #captain america civil war #civil war #zemo #baron zemo #chaotic zemo #baron helmut zemo #mcu textpost #sixdemon textpost

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loveandscience · 2 months

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Kiddo's evaluator recommended using social stories and other visual means to help them learn, so I used some of their favorite characters and spent hours creating this yesterday XD

#beast wars #cheetor #conflict resolution #transformers

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kennysaysthings · 1 year

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“I hate the miscommunication trope” “the worst trope by far”

There is nothing better than the pining and wanting while not being able to say it. Seeing characters want something so badly but are unable to just say that they want it, wether out of fear the other doesn’t or simply because they have this internal conflict of do they or don’t they. The simple things they can’t bring themselves to say out loud. Seeing the click of realization/confirmation as they lay it all out in front of them, as a simple few words could unravel them completely. Or “Your love passed me by,” the missed opportunity the unfortunate time spent waiting when there was no reason, THE WASTED TIME. They could’ve been anything else if they just said it, if they’d let themselves have it.

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pratchettquotes · 1 year

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Three was a natural number for witches.

And they'd lost one. Well, not lost, exactly. Magrat was queen now, and queens were hard to mislay. But...that meant that there were only two of them instead of three.

When you had three, you had one to run around getting people to make up when there'd been a row. Magrat had been good for that. Without Magrat, Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax got on one another's nerves. With her, all three had been able to get on the nerves of absolutely everyone else in the whole world, which had been a lot more fun.

Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

#magrat garlick #nanny ogg #granny weatherwax #esme weatherwax #maskerade #discworld #terry pratchett #witches #friendship #female friendship #conflict resolution #peacemaker #power of three #group dynamics #teamwork #us vs absolutely everyone else in the whole world #more fun

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dyingroses · 6 months

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PSA on deescalation

Listen to the person! Yes, when people are angry they don't always communicate clearly and sometimes say things that they don't mean. But they are still intelligent human beings capable of knowing how they feel.

Leave the situation! If it's safe, leave the situation! It takes two to tango and it's harder to fight when you don't have an enemy anymore. If the person is telling you to leave you probably should.

Also you should almost never trap or prevent the other person from leaving! Letting someone who is upset leave allows them to get some space alone, get space from the conflict, feel safer, and get some adrenaline out by moving. You may feel it's not safe to leave the person or let the person leave. But try to balance those concerns with the fact that it's not fair to hold them hostage in a situation they don't feel safe in, at that point you're antagonizing them. Also you should respect that person's autonomy and judgement, they know themselves better than you do and often they want to avoid the conflict escalating as well.

Validate the other persons emotions! This helps show concern and make someone feel heard, which helps stem the conflict and stress. You don't have to apologize or deny what they did is wrong but express understanding and compassion for the distress they are feeling.

Express concern not judgement! If you think they "need help" ask if they "are okay?" ask if they need help. But don't tell them to "calm down."

Communicate your concerns! If you're concerned that safety of the the other person or other people if you leave the situation let them know. You might be able to work out a deal so that they walk a certain way so that you can see them get away safe. You can give them resources. This also communicates concern.

This all comes from what I've learned studying psychology and education. As well as from working in schools and mental hospitals. I don't have time right now to include references but if you curious about things mentioned I encourage you to look up deescalation techniques as well as the individual techniques I've mentioned.

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melblogsgfreethruptsd · 7 months

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It’s not that they “don’t understand”

They’re not “confused”

It’s weaponized incompetence.

#toxic parents #narcissism #emotional abuse #manipulation #gaslighting #begging the question #sealioning #maternal narcissism #narcissistic abuse #narc mom #accountability #conflict resolution

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voicesfromthelight · 2 years

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Conflict resolution, healing relationships, and clearing up the aftermath of volatile communications has been the name of the game in the last several readings I’ve done, and this channeled affirmation from my spirit guide, Salvador, continues on the theme of his previous quotes. The concepts of expectation, and agreement to (i.e. alignment with) a given energy as an act of choosing a future course have often been repeated in our channelings. To “agree” with something is to resonate with it in your emotional vibration - which determines much of our spiritual frequency, which in turn has all kind of effects on our physical reality. That is what this affirmation is about. I should also add that it’s very rare in the “spiritual shorthand” my guides use in readings for them to speak in the first person. When they do, it is almost always a sign that they are passing on a healing mantra or affirmation that will shift energy out of a counterproductive state. I am going to be using this over the next few days, and will see what happens. How about you? If you give this affirmation a whirl, let me know if you experience any changes in your interpersonal energies!

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 month

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By: Charles Q. Choi

Published: Mar 7, 2012

Chimpanzees have police, too. Now, researchers are discovering what makes these simian enforcers of the peace step into conflicts, findings that could help shed light on the roots of policing in humans.

Animals handle conflicts within groups in a variety of ways, such as policing, where impartial bystanders intercede when disputes crop up. Policing, which has been seen in chimps, gorillas, orangutans and other primates, differs from other forms of intervention in that such arbiters are neither biased nor aggressive — they are neither supporting allies nor punishing wrongdoers.

Policing is risky, however, since it involves approaching two or more combative squabblers, which may lead to would-be arbiters becoming the targets of aggression themselves. To find out why primate policing evolved despite such risk, scientists took a closer look at pol.

The researchers analyzed one group of chimpanzees in a zoo in Gossau, Switzerland, for nearly 600 hours over two years. This group experienced a great deal of social tumult — zookeepers there introduced three new adult female chimps, upsetting the former order, and a power struggle also led to a new alpha male. The investigators also looked at records of chimp policing behavior at three other zoos.

The scientists monitored ape social interactions, such as aggressive conflicts, friendly grooming and policing behavior. Policing could involve threatening both quarrelers in a conflict, or running between the antagonists to break up the squabble.

The researchers explored a couple of potential explanations for policing. For instance, policing might help high-ranking members of a group control rivals to keep themselves dominant, or to help keep potential mates from leaving the group. However, both explanations would require high-ranking males to be the arbiters — female chimps usually do not fight over rank, and female chimps are the most likely members to leave groups, not males. In contrast, the researchers found that police chimps were of both sexes. [8 Ways Chimps Act Like Us]

The researchers suggest policing helps improve the stability of groups, thus providing the arbiters with a healthy community to live in. Supporting this notion is the fact that arbiters were more willing to intervene impartially if several quarrelers were involved in a dispute, probably because such conflicts are more likely to jeopardize group peace.

"The interest in community concern that is highly developed in us humans and forms the basis for our moral behavior is deeply rooted — it can also be observed in our closest relatives," said researcher Claudia Rudolf von Rohr at the University of Zurich.

The scientists detailed their findings online today (March 7) in the journal PLoS ONE.

--

Abstract

Because conflicts among social group members are inevitable, their management is crucial for group stability. The rarest and most interesting form of conflict management is policing, i.e., impartial interventions by bystanders, which is of considerable interest due to its potentially moral nature. Here, we provide descriptive and quantitative data on policing in captive chimpanzees. First, we report on a high rate of policing in one captive group characterized by recently introduced females and a rank reversal between two males. We explored the influence of various factors on the occurrence of policing. The results show that only the alpha and beta males acted as arbitrators using manifold tactics to control conflicts, and that their interventions strongly depended on conflict complexity. Secondly, we compared the policing patterns in three other captive chimpanzee groups. We found that although rare, policing was more prevalent at times of increased social instability, both high-ranking males and females performed policing, and conflicts of all sex-dyad combinations were policed. These results suggest that the primary function of policing is to increase group stability. It may thus reflect prosocial behaviour based upon “community concern.” However, policing remains a rare behaviour and more data are needed to test the generality of this hypothesis.

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"mOrALiTy cOmEs FrOm GoD!!1!"

Even chimps know you don't "defund the police."

#evolution #chimpanzee #police officer #defund the police #morality #religious morality #social cohesion #conflict resolution #social stability #social instability #religion is a mental illness

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femmefatalevibe · 11 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Handle Rude People & Insulting Comments With Class

Table of Contents:

Stop taking things personally

Seek clarity, not competition

(Calmly) Share your truth when necessary

De-escalate, disengage, and/or redirect the interaction

How To Handle Insults & Rude People With Class:

Stop taking things personally. Other people's hostility is a coping mechanism for their lack of inner work and healing.

Seek clarity, not competition. Most of the time, people's insults are intentional. They usually want to get an emotional reaction out of you. They want to feed their ego and underlying needs for validation rather than seek to add value or facilitate connection through their words and conversations. Rather than get defensive, call out the behavior by asking the perpetrator of the negative comment to explain the implication of their statement. Play a little dumb and ask "What did you mean by that?" Allow those with bad intentions to tell on themselves. Most people with some degree of self-awareness will either try to gloss over and move on from their comment after seeing that you're too secure with yourself to entertain these low-value comments. Individuals who use this desire for clarity as an opportunity to overexplain their rude commentary almost always tell on themselves – their motives, insecurities, and deep need for self-acceptance and social validation.

(Calmly) Share your truth when necessary. If someone is trying to spread lies about you, discredit your reputation, or defame your character, state the facts about the situation without bringing emotions into the discussion or conflict. Remember: Remaining unbothered does not equate to being a doormat. Stand up for yourself –speak using a neutral tone and only state facts about yourself, your actions, conversations, or any logistics related to the given situation. Do not make accusations or assumptions about the person or the rude commentary they've made. Present their words and actions in a clinical, matter-of-fact manner to show the faulty of their logic rather than firing back with an equally-detrimental attempt to defame their character or give them the social spotlight and attention they're looking for in the moment.

De-escalate, disengage, and/or redirect the interaction. Don't allow their rude behavior to affect your external presence. Try your absolute best to not appear frustrated, raise your voice, or throw back any negative comments. Agree to disagree. Express the pettiness of this conflict. Either walk away or move on to another topic of conversation. Remind yourself that you're dealing with a wounded person. Feeding into their rude commentary is only deepening the cracks and encouraging these negative patterns of behavior.

Validate your emotions. Seek emotional support if necessary. Dealing with combative people can be draining, so remember that it is okay to feel hurt, depleted, sad, or any other negative emotions after the interaction. Schedule a therapy appointment or confide in a trusted member of your support system if you need to talk these matters out to release some of the emotional stress or tension.

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