#idk. just feel like if i weren’t having panic attacks about the fact that people are safe and kind here (and therefore must be hiding their

[sophierequests]

Hi! I absolutely have fallen in love with your writing and I was wondering if you could do a kaz x reader where you’re a touchy person & very close with Jesper (platonically ofcourse). Kaz sees the way you’re able to touch & hug other people and he feels horrible because he can’t give you that. So lots of internal kaz struggles & distancing?? Maybe said struggles & distance will start to cause trouble during a mission, which leads him to confess what’s been on his mind?? Idk just lots of angst but with a happy ending pls <3

in a decadent age i try to change

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Pairing: Kaz Brekker x gn!Reader

A/N: First of all: Thank you sm for the compliment, currently crying in the corner. Second of all: I'm sorry that this request has taken so long, I almost had it finished and had it sitting in my drafts, but I forgot about it jsjsks. I hope you like this, because it was sm fun to write. We love ourselves a teeny bit of angst with hurt/comfort. Thank you for requesting this!!! <333

Summary: Kaz watches the reader’s close relationship with Jesper and starts to feel guilty, causing him to distance himself from them. After his bad conscience almost costs them their life, he chooses to come clean.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Word Count: 3.7K

Warnings: Touch aversion, mentions of death and nausea, violence, poor proofreading, slight mention of unwanted groping, just in general mention of Kaz's trauma

Kaz was crushed by an immense sense of yearning. It was a foreign feeling to him, the depressing ache of longing pressing down on his chest, making him feel like a young defenseless boy. Of course, he wanted things - Money, Revenge, Power - but these were all items he could get to by using logic and his own skills. His own emotions weren’t that simple to decipher.

He didn’t understand how you could even consider loving him. He held himself as the cold and cruel gang leader that life had made him out to be, but somehow you were able to look past his dreary exterior. Hearing you say that you loved him almost made him choke on his own spit. Nothing could’ve prepared him for that, especially after he had tried to suppress his own feelings towards you. So against his better judgement, he chose to genuinely try.

You both tried your best. Not overstepping his boundaries had proven to be more difficult than you imagined. After a few months of dating, he decided to tell you about the reason for his severe touch aversion. He told you about the Queen’s Lady Plague, about his brother and about the steadily rising waters. He told you about the dreadful nausea, the feeling of bloating corpses under his skin and the panic attacks that were able to bring him to his knees in an instant. You had always known about his fear of touch. It manifested in his daily life like an unwanted stench. It manifested in the way he always kept a set distance whilst standing next to somebody, how it took him almost all his willpower to seal deals with a handshake, and how he tried to avoid being caught up in crowds as best as he could.

He gave you the opportunity to leave. There would be no hard feelings on his side, was what he told you, in case you chose to change your mind about your relationship. But you didn’t. You wanted to stay, no matter how much work you had to put into the relationship.

However, Kaz knew that you craved touch. He saw how your hugs with Jesper got longer, how you looked at his hands whenever he took off his gloves, or in the comforting physical gestures you would show towards your friends whenever they were in need of consoling. Physical touch was what you used to love, to soothe and to show affection. But sometimes, you needed the same affection back, and he knew that he wasn’t able to do that for you yet.

The fact that a certain touchy sharpshooter considered you his best friend, didn’t particularly help settle Kaz’s unease regarding the whole situation. At first, he thought that the feeling he got when seeing you laugh together was just plain and simple jealousy, but after a while, he noticed that it wasn’t just that. It was the guilt of not being able to provide the same tenderness for you.

“Jes, it wasn’t that funny.” you groaned, just as Kaz passed by the door to the small living room area of the Slat.

Your voice made him pause, lingering at the door to watch what you were currently doing. Again, he felt a slight pull on his heartstrings, knowing that you should’ve spent the day with him if he hadn't told you about all the work he still had to finish.

His eyes landed on you instantly. You were sitting on the couch, legs draped over Jesper’s, his hand on your leg. Interactions like these weren’t a big deal to you, or Jes for that matter, since that was just how your friendship was. Both of you were touchy, but that didn’t mean anything to you. Especially since neither of you was single.

“Maybe it wasn’t funny to you. But you should’ve seen that bastard’s face when he realized we stole his sack of kruge.” Jesper chuckled, throwing his head back into his seat.

“Ugh,” you huffed, giving him a slight jab to the shoulder, “Yeah, you only find that funny, because you weren’t the one who had to sit on Dryden's lap for almost half an hour.”

Kaz cringed at the mention of Karl Dryden’s name, remembering all the exact details of the previous mission. You and Jesper played the roles of a wealthy merchant couple attending a charity ball at one of Dryden’s mansions. The initial objective was to use the two of you as a distraction for the old creep, whilst Inej and Kaz tried to rob a safe situated in the basement. This plan quickly dissipated after you got separated by the increasing mass of people. So on the spur of the moment, you decided to flatter the heavyset merchant, showering him in compliments, ending in you being pulled into his lap. Even though it made you gravely uncomfortable, you continued your act until Kaz gave you the sign to leave. As a sort of compensation, you also stole the satchel of kruge he kept on his belt, throwing it to Kaz after you exited the building. He was slightly agitated by the way this mission turned out, making sure to scold Jesper for his negligence. Now it almost caused him to retch whenever he thought about Dryden’s hands clutching onto your thighs.

“I had to watch you flirt with that pig and keep a straight face, so we can discuss who had to suffer more.” Jesper cried dramatically, causing you to snort in response.

“Oh no, you poor soul. I bet watching me make a fool out of myself was so hard for you to watch.” you mocked.

Jesper’s mood suddenly sobered up a little, his back straightening.

“I mean, there were other people that didn’t enjoy watching you as much as I did.” he muttered, taking a nip from his drink, “Kaz looked like he wanted to kill that fucker.”

You rolled your eyes, cocking your head to give him an incredulous look.

“I don’t think there is one person in the entirety of Ketterdam, that Kaz didn’t want to kill at some point.” you joked, taking the drink from your friend’s hands and placing it on the table next to you.

“But the rest of Ketterdam keeps their hands off of his partner.” he mused, giving you a satisfied grin.

“I doubt Kaz had any strong reaction to that mission. He knows that everything was just an act and that I’m perfectly capable of helping myself, so there’s no need for him to fuss about it.”

Unbeknownst to you, he did care. Quite a lot actually. It made him sick to his stomach, having to watch you getting touched by some dirty merchant, whilst he could barely muster the courage to link your pinkies. He felt guilt, jealousy and self-hatred all at once, making it incredibly hard for him to focus when these thoughts plagued his mind.

“If you say so, Y/N.” Jesper murmured, immediately starting another senseless conversation afterwards.

Not intending to snoop on you any further, Kaz decided to take the hint and leave. After all, he still had another upcoming mission to plan, and he couldn’t afford his whole mind to be taken up by her, no matter how much it impacted him.

The next day, he had set up a meeting with the rest of the Crows, going over the first basics of the next heist he had in mind. Even though you still had a few weeks until the scheduled date, he liked to have everything planned out carefully, not wanting to risk any misunderstandings or failures.

You were the first one to arrive at his office. You always were, coming in with a steaming hot cup of coffee. He didn’t usually get the most sleep, so you tried to make sure to at least take care of the things you could do for him.

He only looked up briefly, giving you a brief nod, before returning to the numbers in front of him. But he couldn’t focus on them. Not whilst you were in the room, sitting in a chair he mentally dubbed as yours and watching him with a concerned look on your face. With a heavy inhale, he pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to get rid of the unpleasant feeling spreading through his chest.

“Kaz?” you spoke up, ripping him from his mental demise, “You don’t look good. Is everything alright, love?”

The genuine concern in your voice didn’t help his conscience even one bit, but he also had no clue on what to do next. He wanted you to know what was bothering him so much, however, Kaz Brekker wasn’t a person that talked about his feelings.

“It’s nothing.” he answered coolly, hoping that the slight crack in his voice hadn’t given too much away.

“You know you can tell me when something’s upsetting you, right?” you reassured curtly, trying to look for an answer in his eyes.

Before he could give any kind of reaction, the door to his office opened and the rest of the team stepped in.

Much to Kaz’s dismay, Jesper’s first move was to walk behind your chair, giving your shoulders a tight squeeze. Wylan also joined you, hugging you quickly, before joining his boyfriend, who was currently sitting on the windowsill.

He tried his best not to look at you during the meeting, but his eyes always seemed to wander towards your form. He noticed every little movement, every little touch you shared with the others. It didn’t matter how hard he tried to keep his focus, he never succeeded, sometimes completely abandoning his previous train of thought.

“Are there any questions?” he asked intently, letting his stare travel around your faces.

Jesper cleared his throat audibly, causing Kaz’s attention to fly directly to him.

“So, just for my own understanding, you and Y/N will be the only two people standing guard?” he commented, slightly confused by this constellation.

“Yes, that’s the plan, Jesper.” he answered in a monotone voice.

It wasn’t one of his best ideas, but it would have to be enough. He was aware that standing guard on a rooftop would be quite difficult for a person with only one working leg, but the nagging voice inside his head told him to not show any kind of vulnerability.

“You know that you have to climb on a roof for that, right? And you may be a bit - how do I say this - inconvenienced.” Jesper said, aware that he was walking on thin ice.

“Even though I have the urge to agree with you, I doubt that any other constellation would work.” Inej commented, leaning against the cold wall behind her.

“I’m just saying…” the Zemeni boy groaned, throwing his hands up defensively.

With that, everyone seemed to accept whatever rules and steps Kaz had just presented them with, filing out of the room one by one.

As much as you wanted to stay with him, you didn’t feel like he would appreciate any company right now, so you let yourself get dragged out by Nina and Jes, who had already found a fresh topic to gossip about.

Secretly, he wanted you to stay, but his mind began pestering him again. Maybe it was for the best to put a bit of distance between the two of you, he thought, leaning back in his chair.

In the following weeks, Kaz and you barely talked. Every conversation you had tried to start, just got turned into a pitiful small talk, that ended in you leaving wordlessly.

You tried to not take it too personally, however, you just couldn’t get rid of the questions clouding your brain. Was he mad at you? What did you do? Why didn’t he want to talk to you? Did he maybe fall out of love with you?

It always made you think of the conversation you had with Inej once. She had said two sentences that just didn’t want to let you go.

“He doesn’t say goodbye. He just lets go.”

When the day of the job finally arrived, the seven of you directly went to your designated locations.

You hated climbing roofs. They were slippery, uncomfortable and way too far away from the filthy cobblestone beneath you. Surprisingly, Kaz portrayed almost no difficulties climbing the building and settling at his selected spot. If his leg was bothering him, he managed to not let it show. As soon as you sat down next to him, you could spot Inej, Jesper and Wylan entering the building through one of the windows on the lower floor. Matthias and Nina had already chatted up one of the guards, holding a quite active conversation with him.

“Do you think this will work?” you whispered, slightly uneasy because of the whole situation.

“Would I have planned this job, if I doubted its success?” he shot back, sounding a bit harsher than he had intended to.

“Alright, alright.” you mumbled, taken aback by his agitated reaction.

The next few minutes were spent in complete silence, none of you dared to say a word, but the pressing silence wasn’t good for either of you.

“Kaz.” you stated, causing him to look at you fully, for the first time in what felt like ages, “What is going on?”

He swallowed thickly, knowing that now was not the right time to tell you about his worries.

“You’ve been so distant lately, and I don’t know why. Is there anything I can do for you? I dislike seeing you like this.” you assured.

“This is not the right time for conversations like these.” he deflected quickly, averting his eyes again to glue them back on the entrance of the other building.

“When is the right time then?” you retorted, becoming slightly frustrated with his obvious attempt at diverting your attention.

“Kaz, please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out again.”

Shots pierced through the humid night air, causing both of you to flinch. Jesper and Wylan hastily climbed out of one of the upper windows making their way up the roof of the opposite building. Inej, Nina and Matthias came running out of the door, clutching the stolen blueprints tightly to their chests.

You cursed, as you spotted some Dime Lions trying to get to the two separate groups. One of the guards managed to pull out a gun, aiming it directly at Jesper’s head. Grabbing your own revolver, you jumped up hastily, stepping a bit further down on the incline of the slick roof. Kaz tried to grab you, but you were quicker, positioning your weapon and firing a clean shot at the other shooter.

The bullet hit him perfectly, the impact causing him to plunge out of the window, body flopping on the hard ground with a horrifying crack. Kaz let himself slide down a little, giving you a concerned look.

“Y/N, hurry up and get back up here, we have to leave.” he urged.

You took a deep breath in order to ground yourself. Even though it basically was part of your job now, killing people still didn’t sit right with you.

At that moment, you realized why you hated staying on roofs. You were no Inej, so your coordination was pretty underdeveloped. Before you could even turn around to face Kaz, your feet slipped from under you, the slickness pulling you down to the edge. Clumsily, you clung to the edge, the rest of your body hanging over the abyss under you.

Kaz lunged forward, slipping down to a little platform close to you. He was utterly helpless. You would never be able to pull yourself up on your own, but he wasn’t sure whether he could trust himself enough to grab you.

“Kaz, get Jesper!” you cried, anxiety washing over your features.

But Kaz just stood frozen in place. The waters were rising again, drowning him in the memories of his brother. The voices inside his head penetrated him with insults, calling him weak. He was suffocating again.

“Kaz, please!” you called out again, as you felt your fingers lose their grip again.

He was violently pulled out of his trance when another body slid down beside him, already reaching out to grab your arms. Jesper had apparently heard your pleas for help, hauling you up the roof with all his might.

“Kaz, leave!” Inej’s voice called from behind him.

With a hint of hesitation, he nodded, clambering up to the door through which you had entered. His mind was racing. His fear could’ve cost you your life. What would he have done if you hadn't been able to hold on to it properly? Would he have watched you plummet down to your death?

“Saints, are you alright?” Nina called out to you, as you and Jesper arrived at the rendezvous point.

Your clothes were soiled with the slick dirt of the roof, and your legs were a shaky mess. You didn’t even want to imagine how fast your heart was beating at this point.

“Your heart is beating way too fast, let me help you.” she offered, already moving her hands to slow down your heart rate.

A weight was lifted off your shoulders, making your breathing return to a steady rhythm gradually. Jesper still didn’t let go of your arm, fearing that you might collapse at every second.

Meanwhile, Kaz had an equally horrified expression on his face, heavily relying on his cane. He never took his eyes off you once but didn’t have the courage, or the current emotional intelligence, to ask if you were fine.

Nina turned around carefully, meeting Kaz’s gaze with a concerned look.

“What is it now, Zenik?” he hissed at her, his hand clenching around the head of his cane.

“Kaz, your heartbeat sounds like you could pass out at every second, let me-”

“Don’t even think about tinkering with my heart.” he bellowed, before turning to leave.

“Saints, what is up with him today?” Jesper commented while he offered you the necessary support to move forward.

“I wish I knew.” you murmured.

Back at the Slat, you were torn between talking to Kaz and going to rest a bit. You were exhausted, the near-death experience had spent all of your energy for the day. Jesper also didn’t seem too pleased with you wanting to talk to Kaz. He immediately led you to your bedroom, telling you to rest and just forget about what happened for a while.

This was easier said than done, especially since you heard the hasty clicking of his cane echoing above you. He was pacing around his office again, but this time, you couldn’t conjure the energy to console him. Not when you were the person who also needed comfort.

Suddenly, the footsteps disappeared, and only the distant sound could still be heard. Was he finally going to sleep?

The answer was no.

You heard his heavy steps coming down the stairs, stopping right in front of your door. The door didn’t open. He was hesitating.

“Come in or go away.” you said, hopefully loud enough for him to hear.

No reaction.

Just as you thought that he already left again, you heard the door creak. Kaz entered without a greeting, closing the door behind him and leaning against it.

"Is this the right time to talk about what's going on?" you said after another awkward silence.

He only nodded in response, still standing rooted in place.

You sat up straight, scooting closer to one side of the bed, offering him to sit down on the space next to you.

He hesitantly accepted, spending a few minutes taking in your expression before he opened his mouth to talk.

"I'm sorry." was the first thing coming out of his mouth.

"For almost letting me fall off a roof or for ignoring me for two weeks?"

"For not being able to give you what you need." he interjected.

That was not the answer you were expecting.

"What do you mean, Kaz? What do so need?" you asked perplexed.

"Someone that doesn't almost keel over at the mere thought of touching you. Someone that can give you physical affection." he started, not willing to meet your gaze, "If you would've died tonight, that would've been on me. And I don't think I could've lived with that."

"That's what this is all about?" you asked disbelievingly.

One of his brows perked up. He didn't know what kind of reaction he had expected, or if he even had expected anything for that matter. You sitting across from him, an understanding smile painted on your lips was probably on the bottom of his list.

"Who told you that? I would never ask anything of you that you weren't comfortable with. You can be a quite difficult man, Mr. Brekker, but you'll never be too difficult for me." you assured him.

His face was turned away from you slightly, you could see that he was still pondering what to say next, whilst simultaneously trying to process your words.

"I still should've done something. Instead of just…doing nothing."

"Kaz, it's fine. I am fine. You're fine. There's nothing to change about what happened. You've done more than enough for me, even if your touch aversion is still there. It won't go away that easily, and I'm perfectly aware of that. I also was very much aware of what I agreed to when we started this. You're not giving me anything less than what I've asked for."

He nodded slowly, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"I'd still like to get better." he added lowly, almost not daring to be this vulnerable.

"And I'll try to help you as best as I can. If you want me to."

"I'd like that." he answered with the ghost of a smile on his face.

"I love you, Kaz. Even though you act terribly dense sometimes." you laughed, causing him to chuckle in agreement.

Maybe he still had time to change. If he wouldn't do it for himself, he should at least try for you. He wasted way too many chances, but he knew that he had to take this one.

#kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse headcanons #grishaverse #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows

[fanficimagery]

Friends in High Places

Summary: When Spencer comes home with files to a case that has his team stumped, he's surprised when you- his neighbor for a couple years now- is the person who gives them a new lead to follow. That and that you're ex-SHIELD.

Words: 8K Warnings: This is what I get for starting a rewatch of Criminal Minds and then watching Marvel movies all in one day. Fml. I've never written for Criminal Minds, so please excuse the mediocre-ness of their characterization. I have no idea what I'm doing; I just knew I wanted a crossover between these two fandoms. Also timeline? What are those? All you gotta know is that this is an AU where Bucky's joined the team and Steve DIDN'T ruin the life Peggy Carter would have had. As for the CM side, this is sometime after Hotch has left and Emily took over. Idk.

Having the night off and wanting nothing more than to just be lazy, you're sitting on your couch in your most comfiest clothes and mindlessly scrolling through Tumblr as your TV plays some program on Animal Planet. You're not even paying attention to the program, but the low sound is perfect for background noise.

You're queuing up some art posts that catch your attention, as well as some gif sets of the TV shows you've become a constant viewer of in the past few years, when there's a knock at your door. But not just any knock. It's a specific knock that you and your neighbor came up with after you got to know each other and became fast friends, and it was to let the other know they were home and wanted company. You mostly worked nights and his work schedule was always all over the place, so it's surprising you're both home at the same time.

Picking up your phone, you shoot him a quick text that you'll be over in five.

Spencer Reid is literally the man of every woman's dream, even if they didn't know it. He's cute and adorable and sometimes dangerously hot all rolled into one, and the best thing about it all is that he doesn't even know it. You had met him on one of your first few days in the apartment complex, but unfortunately it was during one of your slight panic attacks when a thunderstorm had caught you off guard while you were sitting in your car and you didn't have an umbrella.

He had seen and heard you freaking out as he was passing by, and knocked on the passenger window. You had collected yourself just long enough to roll the window down a few inches when he asked if you were okay, then proceeded to answer his own question by stating you obviously weren't. When he realized you lived in the same complex and asked if he could climb inside your car and out of the storm, you had stared at him in confusion until he realized that might have been a bit weird since you were strangers. He stammered his way through his explanation of being an FBI agent and after showing you his badge you had let him in.

You didn't have to tell him what was making you panic and he proceeded to keep your mind occupied. He asked about you and where you had moved in from, and spewed random facts about anything to temporarily make you forget about the storm raging outside. But the torrential rain wasn't letting up and the lightning was only getting closer and closer. He made you realize you had to make a run for it and even offered up his umbrella for you. You had thanked him with tears in your eyes and made a run for it on the count of three when you were settled just enough.

Inside the lobby of your apartment building, you had stood there trembling while Spencer nervously gripped onto the strap of his messenger bag as he stood across from you. When you were shaking the water off his umbrella, you hesitantly told him your reasoning for your freak-out. It wasn't necessarily the thunderstorm, but rather the torrential rain that wasn't letting up. A few years back you had a drowning incident and too much water on your face tended to bring back those memories. He said he understood and then with a sympathy tinged smile he offered to walk you to your apartment. It was a pleasant surprise to learn you had only lived two doors down from him.

Weeks turned into months and months into a couple of years, and you and Spencer were nearly inseparable when you both had the same day/night off.

So after quickly fixing your already messy hair so you don't look like a complete slob, and pulling on a loose hoodie, you grab your phone from the sofa and then head on out. Your socked feet keep your footsteps quiet as you head down to Spencer's door where you knock three times on it before opening it up and stepping inside.

But before you can greet him with a cheesy welcome, he's already calling out, "Hope you haven't had dinner. I picked up some burgers on the way home."

On cue, your stomach grumbles. "God bless you, you beautiful, beautiful man!" You hear him laugh from a room that's not where his kitchen is, so you make a beeline for the kitchen instead of accidentally walking in on him changing. There are two paper bags on the table and you quickly grab plates from his cabinet to separate the food on. Spencer enters the kitchen in a shirt and some gray joggers, and you greet him with a beaming smile. "You're home and in one piece! Yay!" He laughs and you quickly lean in to peck his cheek, not saying a word when you catch sight of his pink tinged cheeks. "You have any beer?"

"Yes. Grab two, please."

"Got it." You hear one of his kitchen chairs creak as you open his refrigerator to grab two beers, you then searching a nearby drawer for the bottle opener. Once you find it, you walk back over to the table and open each beer before handing one over to him.

"Thanks."

"Mhm." Taking a seat, you set your beer down before unwrapping your burger and dumping your fries out onto the plate. "So what's up, doc? You're home surprisingly early."

"We've hit a wall on our latest case," he says, keeping it vague. "There was nothing for us to do while Garcia did her thing, so Emily sent us home for a bit."

"Nice." You take a bite of your burger and your eyes widen when Spencer's eyebrows raise in surprise. When you realize how your words sounded, you're quick to backtrack. "Wait! It's not nice that you hit a wall, but nice that you got sent home! I got free food out of it. That's why it's nice. Not because, you know, you haven't found the-"

"Y/N, you're rambling," Spencer says, lips twitching. "I understood what you meant."

You sigh, shoulders dropping, and grab half a fry to toss at him. "Eat your food, Reid. It's getting cold."

It surprisingly doesn't take long for the two of you to eat your dinner, you both being hungrier than you first thought. After you're done, Spencer turns down a second beer but tells you to help yourself. You do. And on the way into his living room, you bump into one of his chairs and knock his bag over. You gasp and set your beer down on the coffee table, falling to your knees to scoop up his files that had spilled out.

Chuckling, Spencer crouches next to you as you profusely apologize.

"It's okay. It was an accident." A few pictures had slid out of their files and normally you'd just shove them back in because his work wasn't any of your business, but the face staring back up at you makes you pause. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a little heavy on the eyeliner, and a lip piercing. You know her. "Y/N?" You gulp and flip to another picture- brown hair, brown eyes, mole above the right eyebrow. You know her too. "Y/N? Are you okay?"

With trembling hands, you flip back to the first picture and show it to him. "Is Lilian dead?"

Spencer's eyes widen. "You knew her?"

Knew. Past tense. She is dead. Showing him the second picture, you nod sadly. "Kyndall too."

He seems to stop breathing then and from one moment to the next he's opening files and pulling out picture after picture. As you stare at each of them, you grimace and swallow down the bile that's threatening to climb its way up your throat. "Y/N, do you know any of the others?"

Shakily exhaling, you point at each picture. "Desiree, Celeste, Maria. I don't know this one, but I think her last name was Valdez? And then the male is Tim."

Spencer falls on his butt, staring at you in surprise. "That's right. We know their names and their current line of work, but that's about it. Their files only seem to go back a few years. Everything between the end of their high school career and current line of work seems to be scrubbed clean. Do you- do you know of any connection between these people? Any little thing you know can possibly be a big help to my team."

Your gaze darts up to him and your heart sinks. You've managed to keep your past mostly hidden, but now it seems the time has come to tell him what you did before. "They, uh, they're all ex-agents of SHIELD. The real SHIELD, not HYDRA."

"What?"

"If I remember correctly, they were computer analysts or paper pushers. They had gun training as one would think an agent would have, but they were agents who didn't really have to train in hand-to-hand since they never made it out into the field."

"You're positive? How do you know this?"

You gulp. "Because I'm ex-SHIELD too."

Spencer blinks at you, but then in the next moment he's up on his feet and reaching for his phone. He places a quick phone call, stepping into another room and leaving you alone. Your stomach sinks and you have a feeling that this confession might have just put a wedge in your friendship. After all, though ex-agents were being picked up by other different branches of the government, you weren't sure just how exactly trustworthy all ex-agents were being treated.

Spencer reappears, nervously tucking his hair behind his ear. "Do you mind coming with me back to work? My co-workers could really pick your brain about this."

You blink at him. "W-What? You're not mad at me?"

"Mad?" He chuckles. "Why would I be mad? I mean I wish I had known what you did so I didn't have to worry about you being alone when I left for a case, but I can see why you would keep that underwraps. HYDRA made a lot of people paranoid."

"Tell me about it," you mumble. Then after a few seconds, you finally climb up to your own two feet. "Um, just let me go put on some shoes. I'll meet you in the hall."

Spencer's smile and nod eases some of your worries, but you still quickly make an escape to go put on some shoes. Your front door bangs open and you hurry to your hall closet. Yanking open that door, you pull on the first pair of Converse you come across. Then taking a moment to think, you grab a pair of knee high boots that you use every once in a while. Reaching inside, you grab your old badge and a USB stick, sticking your badge in your back pocket and the USB in your front pocket. Then grabbing your keys from the hook by the front door, you shut the door after exiting and lock it. Spencer is waiting down the hall for you and you jog towards him. He tightly smiles and then leads you downstairs, towards his car, and you sit quietly in his passenger seat while he drives.

On the way towards Spencer's place of work, he can't help but ask, "So what exactly did you do with SHIELD if you don't mind me asking."

You shrug. "Cat's out of the bag now, so I don't mind." You chuckle though it kind of falls flat. "I was, uh, a computer analyst for a while. But then I was taken on a field trip with a few agents and we ended up trading bullets with several not so nice guys. The field agents liked the way I handled myself and requested I level up, so to speak."

"And you never thought of trying to get hired on with anyone else? If I recall, the FBI and CIA were picking up ex-SHIELD agents after the fall."

You shake your head. "Remember that drowning incident I mentioned? Or the reason why I can't take baths anymore and have to turn my shower on and off between washing?" Spencer hums, remembering what he thought were odd quirks until he realized it was all because of your fear of certain amounts of water. "That drowning incident was HYDRA's fault. I spent months in rehab and just- well, no one wanted a damaged agent."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of glad they didn't. I quite like my neighbor who picks up take-out and bakes sweets for me after a rough case."

You try not to think too much about his words and instead choose to smile at him before looking out your window. The drive is only about twenty minutes and fortunately the radio fills in the semi-tense silence.

When you get to the FBI building, Spencer escorts you inside with a hand at the small of your back. You're given a visitor's badge and you quickly clip it onto the hem of your hoodie. The elevator ride up to the BAU's main floor is a short one and it opens up to a wall of glass where you can see several desks behind it.

Spencer opens the door for you and you can't help but make yourself seem as small as possible. You cross your arms over your chest, hugging yourself as you enter the room. There are several people milling about, but no one pays you any attention. Only one female, dark bangs covering her forehead while the rest of her hair falls just passed her shoulders, heads towards you once she spots you and Spencer.

"Y/N," Spencer says, introducing you to the woman as she nears, "this is our Unit Chief Emily Prentiss. Emily, this is my good friend Y/N Y/L/N."

Emily is all smiles as she reaches to shake your hand. "Hi! It's nice to finally meet the girl who takes care of our boy wonder after cases."

Spencer nervously chuckles and you find yourself genuinely grinning. "It's nice to finally meet you too. I've heard some funny stories about all you guys."

"I will neither confirm nor deny any of those."

Emily then leads you towards a room where three others are waiting. "Guys, this is Y/N Y/L/N. Friend of Spence and ex-agent of SHIELD. Y/N, this is Special Agent Derek Morgan and Jennifer Jareau, and our very own technical analyst Penelope Garcia."

Everyone happily greets you and Jennifer even gives you the go ahead to call her JJ. You're offered a seat at their round table and you glance at their board filled with pictures of people you used to work with. Spencer sits next to you and you offer him a feeble smile when he reaches beneath the table to squeeze your knee.

"Alright, guys, I know we're all interested in the girl who lives next to Spence, but we need to get down to business." Spencer groans as his teammates all chuckle. "So Y/N, is there anything else you can give us about the victims? What exactly did they do? Did they all personally know each other or just enough because they were coworkers? Even the smallest bit of info that you think is inconsequential can help us."

"I, uh, I can do you one better," you say. You shift in your seat and reach into your front pocket, pulling out the USB stick. "Since I figure all those NDA's we signed are now null and void thanks to Agent Romanoff's data dump, and because you're Spencer's friend, I feel comfortable handing this over. It kind of made me nervous keeping it in my house anyway."

You slide the USB towards Penelope and she gasps, snatching it up and holding it as if it were the holy grail. "Is this- are these files? Because let me tell you, I tried to download those files as soon as they hit the net but there were just so many and not even our WiFi could download it fast enough before they were scrubbed clean."

You grin and nod, chuckling at Penelope's squeal. "I started collecting everyone's files that I could get my hands on. I started with the baby agents- agents whose files wouldn't toss up red flags when their files were opened. The more clearance I was granted, the more files I was able to download."

"Oh my god. Yes! You are my new favorite person." Penelope rushes around the table, bending down to kiss your cheek with a loud mwah! "Reid, keep this one. I'll be in my lair."

The group all chuckle as you blush, but then Agent Morgan is clearing his throat. "Not that I'm not grateful about what you're giving up, but isn't what you were doing illegal?"

You shrug. "It possibly was, but then Director Fury realized I was memorizing it all and didn't have a problem with it so long as those files didn't leave my office."

"But you have them on you now," Morgan says.

"Yeah. The USB was hidden within my belongings in my office. My office surprisingly survived unscathed after Captain Rogers crashed the helicarriers into the Potomac, and my stuff was packed up and shipped to me while I was in rehab."

"If you don't mind me asking," JJ wonders, "but were you at the Triskelion when HYDRA came out or..?"

"I don't mind the questions at all," you say. "It's actually quite nice to talk about it with people who aren't eyeing me suspiciously." The group flashes you small smiles. "I was actually on a consulting job with a recently formed SHIELD team whose base was a humongous plane that was constantly on the move. Anyway, one of those trusted team members ended up being HYDRA. He led a group of his men onto the plane, killed half of us to get control of it, and then locked me and two scientists into a holding pod before dropping us into the middle of the ocean."

"The drowning incident," Spencer suddenly realizes.

You smile sadly at him, nodding. "We sank to the bottom of the ocean floor. There were three of us and only one little oxygen tank." Spencer grabs your hand beneath the table and you're grateful for the grounding pressure. "We gave it to Jemma. Fitz and I were going to attempt to swim, but we didn't make it. Fitz blacked out first, then me, and then- then nothing. We woke up in a trusted SHIELD facility, and Fitz and I couldn't operate like we used to. With our brains having been deprived of oxygen, it messed us up for a while."

"Wow," Emily says. "I am so sorry."

You shrug at her with a small smile. "It was all part of the job."

"What do you do now?" Morgan asks. "I hate to say it, but with all our victims being ex-SHIELD, and you as well, we have to rule you out as-"

"I get it." You smile in reassurance at him since it kind of pained him to admit that you could be a suspect and have Spencer glare at him for even thinking it. "I'm a bouncer at a bar most nights."

Morgan chuckles. "A bouncer? You!?"

"Hey! I might not look like much, but I did train with Avengers. I could probably give you a run for your money, agent Morgan."

"Okay, okay," he muses.

"I also work as private security for Stark Industries when they throw galas. If you need the exact dates I've been working, I can get that for you."

"Please," JJ says. "Spencer's already vouched for you, but protocol and all that. You understand."

"I do. I'll just- I'll text my bosses to email my clock-ins and clock-outs."

Pulling out your phone, you immediately text your boss at the bar and Pepper Potts. You keep the explanation vague as to why you need it, but assure them it's very much needed for a case the FBI is working on. They completely understand and you even have to make Pepper swear not to get Tony involved.

The emails come in not even ten minutes later and JJ happily takes your phone to run the dates with Penelope, promising to be quick about it. You remain in your seat, watching as Morgan and Emily walk towards the board and start tossing their thoughts back and forth over what they've learned so far.

Your hands are atop the table, thumbs chipping away the already chipped nail polish you have on. The second you raise your hand with the intent of chewing on your thumb nail, Spencer catches your hand. "You okay?" He quietly asks and you stare at him. He then lets your hand go as you pull them back into your lap.

"Yeah. Just getting kind of tired. And a bit anxious. Someone's targeting ex-SHIELD agents and I- well I'm one of those people."

"No one is going to hurt you, Y/N. I promise."

You feebly smile, not taking his words to heart because you know he can't actually keep that promise. He might want to, but you know better than to take these types of promises seriously in situations such as this.

JJ reappears, a bright smile in place as she hands you your phone. "I'm pretty sure Penelope programmed her number in there."

"That's fine." You chuckle. You lay your phone on the table, giving your attention back to Emily and Morgan who's now being joined by JJ.

"Guys, Garcia is having a ball right now. There's so much information she wasn't privy to before, but I'm not sure how any of it is going to help more than Y/N already has." Emily and Morgan look at JJ, waiting for her to explain. "We already know victims weren't the best at hand-to-hand, which the unsub clearly took advantage of. But we need to know what they were presently doing and if they were checking in with anyone because there are a lot of dead ex-agents. That's not a coincidence. Either someone who's ex-SHIELD or HYDRA is picking off ex-agents one by one, or someone who has a grudge against SHIELD found a list of ex-agents and is working their way down the list."

"Where do we even start?" Morgan asks, incredulous. "SHIELD technically doesn't exist anymore and those who are operating in the shadows are nearly impossible to track down thanks to the Avengers. None of them are exactly easy to get a hold of after General Ross made it his personal mission to bring in James Buchanan Barnes for crimes HYDRA made him commit. They like working on their own."

"We'd have to jump through a bunch of hoops just to get a face to face," Emily says, sighing. "If we're lucky they'll want in on the case since it's related to SHIELD."

"Um, actually.." You nervously raise your hand, calling all attention on you. "You can bypass all those hoops."

Emily stares at you, sitting on the edge of the table as she crosses her arms over her chest. "You still have connections, don't you?" At your sheepish grin, she huffs in amusement. Every other team member straightens with hope in their expressions.

"Agent Prentiss, I am the connection." As you pick up your phone once more, JJ and Morgan step closer to the table. You scroll through your contacts, finding the one you need and tapping on it. Then putting it on speaker, you try to soothe your nerves as the ringing through the speaker seems to make the atmosphere of the room become tense.

The ringing stops as the connection is made and then, "Well, well, well. If it isn't my second favorite human on God's green Earth." You roll your eyes at the charm oozing from him. "What kind of trouble are you in now, doll?"

Emily and JJ's eyes widen, and you shake your head in amusement. "Put your boyfriend on the line, Barnes. I'm calling in a favor."

"Are you calling to finally take us up on that offer of joining us for a night?"

Everyone in the room seems to freeze, although Morgan is highly enjoying where this seems to be going. You close your eyes, scrunching up your nose. You can't believe they just heard that. "Steve really needs to put a muzzle on you."

"Well if you're into that-"

"Bucky!" You bark. "You're on speaker." Morgan finally loses the battle with his laughter and you wish you can sink into your chair. Instead you have to settle for just insanely blushing and covering your face with one hand. "I'm currently with the BAU of the FBI. They have a case that they could use some help on."

"Oh." There's a beat of silence. "Christ, Y/N. You should have stopped me sooner. Stevie's gonna lecture me again. Hold on. I'll go get him."

The line goes silent and you nervously meet Spencer's gaze. He's the only one who doesn't seem as amused which is why you don't find Bucky's greeting as funny as you normally would. Something about his expression actually makes you wish Bucky hadn't said anything.

"Y/N?"

You sit a little straighter in your seat. "Hey, Cap."

"What's going on? Buck mentioned the FBI."

"Uh yeah. I'm with Agents Prentiss, Morgan, Jareau, and Doctor Reid," you tell him. "They've been dealing with a case that had gone cold and well I kind of made a connection they hadn't seen before because they couldn't, and uh I'm sure they could use your help."

"What was the connection?"

You look at Emily and she nods, letting you tell him. "Steve, all the victims are ex-SHIELD. Specifically agents who wouldn't have had too much training; who couldn't hold their own without a gun in hand."

There's a sharp inhale. "What do they need?"

Emily's eyes close in relief and she holds her hand out for your phone. You happily oblige her and hand it over. "Captain Rogers, this is Special Agent Emily Prentiss. I'm the one in charge of my team here."

"Hello, Agent Prentiss. How can my team and I be of help?"

"Well we mainly need to pick your brains and ask some questions. We're aware that SHIELD is still operating to an extent, even if it is in the shadows, so we'd like to know if the victims were still affiliated with you. If we're dealing with someone who is or was from SHIELD or HYDRA, we'd like to have you involved since you have more experience with how they operate."

"That's fine. I'll gather my team and set up a room. Are you okay to set up base here in the Compound?"

"Yes!" JJ says, starting everyone. She clears her throat and calms herself. "Yes."

Steve chuckles. "Very well. Gather everything you need. I'll be sending a quinjet for you all since it'll be faster. Y/N knows the pick-up location."

"Thank you so much, Captain Rogers."

Emily hands you the phone and seeing that the call is still connected, you say, "Hey, Steve? Thanks for this."

"It's not a problem, sweetheart. Are you okay though? You're an ex-shield agent yourself."

"I know, but nothing has been out of the ordinary. I'm okay."

"Good. You coming too?"

"I was actually planning on going home after driving the agents to the location. I'm not an active agent anymore, bub."

"I know you're not, but with that agent neighbor of yours coming here I rather have you here as well so we can keep an eye on you." You sigh at his protectiveness. "Bring a change of clothes for a week. I'll have Nat get a hold of your boss and let him know some of what's going on so you'll have a job to go back to once all of this is over."

"You're a pain in the ass, Rogers."

Steve laughs. "See you soon, Y/L/N."

The call ends and you set your phone down. Glancing up, you smile sheepishly at the team staring at you. "So, uh, I guess I'm tagging along. Sorry about that."

Emily opens her mouth, her words getting stuck as she shakes her head in amusement. "Don't be. You got us working with the Avengers within minutes as opposed to taking hours, possibly even a day if I had to put in a request."

Morgan whistles appreciatively. "This is insane. I'm gonna give Garcia a heads up about our field trip. Expect another tag a long. I don't think she'll pass up this opportunity."

You chuckle as JJ says, "Rossi is going to be so pissed he took a vacation and missed out on working with the Avengers." Then looking at you, she adds, "Do you think Spider-Man will be there? My son absolutely loves him and I would be the coolest mom ever if I got a picture or video with him."

"I'm sure Pe- uh, I'm sure Spider-Man will make an appearance," you say. "He's always hanging around after his classes are done for the day."

JJ's eyes widen. "You totally know who he is."

"I do. And let me tell you, he absolutely adores kids. Ask and he'll happily oblige."

"Guys. Guys!" Emily says. "Case first, fangirl later."

Spencer snorts and you elbow him on reflex. He grumbles, Emily and JJ grin, and you innocently smile at Emily. "Sorry, Agent Prentiss. I'll just- I'll go sit on that couch over there so I'm not in the way."

Emily starts telling her team what needs to be done, repeating herself again when Morgan returns with a clearly excited Garcia. Morgan informs everyone he'll go gather the boxes of files while Spencer immediately sets out to disassemble the board of pictures and post-its. Garcia excitedly rushes back to her own office to pack up a few things, while Emily and JJ figure out what all they'll need to be taking with them.

To keep yourself occupied, you waste a few minutes by playing a game on your phone.

You're not sure how much time has passed, but someone hesitantly sitting next to you takes your attention off your phone. Glancing up, you see Spencer sitting there and realize everyone else has cleared out of the room. "We should be ready to head out in about ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay."

There's a moment of silence and then, "Soo.. Bucky Barnes." He chuckles, running a hand through his hair, and you can tell his amusement isn't exactly genuine. "He's- he's not the type of person I pictured you with if I'm being honest."

"Barnes?" You snort. "Ew. No." Spencer seems surprised by your reply. "Bucky likes to flirt with me because he knows it won't go anywhere. He's well aware of the actual person I have a crush on and he respects that. Mostly."

"O-Oh? So there is someone in the picture then?"

"Well, not really," you say. Squirming in your seat, you're not totally comfortable with the direction this talk has taken until you see you're not the only one squirming. Spencer is avoiding eye contact, but he's also clearly awaiting your answer. There's also a telltale flush up the side of his neck to the tips of his ears, and- oh. Oh. Seeing how nervous Spencer suddenly is makes you feel better. So better, in fact, that you feel you should speak up about something that you've kept secret for a while. "Well I mean I'd like there to be," you say, grinning when he freezes. "The thing is, he actually lives down the hall from me." Cue him holding his breath. "He's totally adorable, but also secretly hot which is so unfair, and he works for the FBI." Spencer's head snaps in your direction, eyes wide. You smile sheepishly and shrug. "The only downfall is that he's way too good for someone like me, so I settled for friendship."

Your heart is beating terribly fast and the only thing keeping you glued to your seat is Spencer grinning bashfully, cheeks pink. "If you ask me, I don't think he's too good at all. I-If anything, he probably thinks you were too good for him which is why he never made his own feelings known."

Relief washes over you and you laugh. "We're idiots, huh?"

Lips pressed together, he smiles wide. Then, "A little."

"Rain check on this discussion? We've got Avengers to greet and you have a case to solve."

"Of course!" Spencer hastily stands, offering you a hand up. Grinning, you take it and let him pull you to your feet while shoving your phone into your back pocket. "Wherever we're going, is it okay to leave our vehicles there?"

"Yeah. It's private property and pretty secluded. No one gets in without codes."

"Okay then. We'll swing by our building for your bag and then you can direct one of the drivers while the other follows."

"Sure. Sounds like a plan."

Because of the connection between the list of victims, you have an escort up to your apartment while you pack a bag. Emily and JJ happily accompany you, leaving Spencer to fend for himself with Morgan and Garcia.

In your apartment, the two female agents waste no time in subtly trying to figure out your exact feelings for their dear friend and you take great amusement in skirting around the answer they so desperately try to pry out of you. And it's only after your duffel is packed do you tell them you and Spencer had admitted some things to each other, but you are planning to talk about it further after their case is closed. JJ seems oddly giddy and Emily coos about their boy genius growing up. You blush, relieved that they've taken a to liking to you. Then when you get back to the vehicles, you know Spencer has been questioned as well given the smirks being sent your way.

The drive to the field isn't long and the team is impressed by the level of security for a seemingly abandoned airfield. There's an unmanned gate which you get off at to speak for voice recognition, punch in a specific code, give a hand print, and then secretly have your forefinger pricked for a blood sample. Then when the gate swings open, you quickly climb back into the car and instruct Emily towards the second gate where a guard sits. The guard greets you warmly and, after you introduce those in the vehicle with you, he assures you he knows all about the impending pick-up.

"So what exactly are we in for?" Morgan asks. You're all waiting in an opened hangar, the boxes they'd packed sitting on the ground.

"Your perceptions about them are about to be changed," you admit. "I'm sure you've all told yourselves that the Avengers are just like you and I, but you have no idea how true that it is until you meet them."

"Who is the nicest?" JJ wonders.

You take a moment to think about. "Honestly? They're all nice, but if I had to choose I'd choose Spider-Man. It's hard not to like him. The kid's a puppy."

"Who gives the best hugs?" Garcia quickly adds.

Everyone chuckles at her eagerness. "That's a tough one," you say. You ponder on it for a moment. "I say it's a tie between Steve and Thor. They hug full on, chest to chest. None of that half-assed, one arm hug nonsense."

Garcia practically swoons. "Oh to be wrapped up in those beefy Asgardian arms." You snort and shake your head in amusement.

Another twenty minutes pass and you regale Spencer and his friends about some of your work with SHIELD. But all too soon the telltale sound of a quinjet reaches your ears and when you look up you see one incoming.

"Well that was hella fast," Garcia muses when she spots the quinjet herself.

JJ grins. "Stark technology. Gotta love it."

Emily nods in agreement. "We definitely need an upgrade."

Whoever is flying the quinjet lands it with ease, and Spencer, Morgan, and JJ immediately pick up their boxes. Shouldering the strap of your duffel bag, you start heading towards the quinjet when the ramp is being lowered and the team follows a few steps behind.

Clint Barton walks off the ramp and you chuckle, hurrying your steps. Both your arms go around his neck and one of his arms wraps low around your waist. "Short stack," he says. "What trouble did you get into now?"

"Why does everyone assume I'm in trouble?" You pout as you pull back, pinching his cheek and cooing before stepping back out of range. "And what are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be on the farm with those precious little heathens?"

"I was, but Laura had leftovers for Nat and Wanda. I was just dropping them off when Steve rounded up the team."

"Oh nice." Then turning around, you gesture to the BAU team. "Clint, meet Special Agents Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Doctor Spencer Reid, and the brains of the beauty of the team Miss Penelope Garcia. Guys, meet Clint Barton formerly known as Hawkeye."

Everyone shakes hands, with the exception of Garcia who slaps his hand away and pulls him into a hug.

"Baby girl," Morgan laughs, "what are you doing?"

She squeezes a chuckling Clint before letting go, she then whirling on her own friend. "This is my first time meeting the Avengers. Do not take this from me!" Morgan's eyebrows raise in amusement, the whole team and Clint chuckling.

Then not wasting anymore time, Clint ushers everyone on board. He shows them where the boxes and your bag can be stowed before taking the pilot's seat up front, only to be joined by Morgan moments later in the co-pilot seat. You show Emily and Garcia how to buckle in, and then take your own seat between JJ and Spencer.

Clint counts down for lift off and you grip your harness as you feel the quinjet take flight. Spencer nudges you with his elbow and you glance at him, grinning to assure him you're okay. But when you can feel the quinjet picking up speed thanks to the feeling in your gut, you close your eyes and are thankful that no one brings up the fact that you're actually really nervous right now.

Your left hand is grabbed and gently pried from your grip on the harness, and your eyes fly open in surprise. You look towards your left and JJ smiles at you reassuringly as she squeezes your hand in comfort. Then when your right hand is grabbed and given the same treatment, you glance over at Spencer and can't help but blurt, "I-I've never been nervous about flying before."

"It's perfectly normal to subconsciously be nervous or anxious after we trudged up your past earlier," he says. "Just close your eyes and relax. We won't let anything happen to you."

You nod, smiling shakily and turn your head to rest it against the headrest of your seat. Then closing your eyes, you're grateful for the team not asking you anything for the duration of the ride. Instead, they save their questions for Clint who's all too happy to answer what he can.

You know the Compound's come into view when Morgan whistles in appreciation. Clint lands to quinjet with ease and then everyone's unbuckling themselves when he gives the go ahead. Before you can grab your bag, however, Spencer is grabbing it and beaming at you when you sigh with mock annoyance.

One by one the BAU team disembarks after Clint, leaving you and Spencer to bring up the rear. You hear Clint introducing everyone and notice everyone's congregated around in a circle. Then just as you and Spencer join, you notice that Garcia is petting Bucky's vibranium arm. You snort, catching an amused Steve's attention.

"Y/N," he greets.

"Steve." You step forward, briefly hugging him and then Bucky. As you step back in line, you gesture towards Spencer to introduce him. "This is Doctor Spencer Reid. Spence, this is Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes."

Steve leans in for a handshake, but then pauses mid-shake. "Wait. Spencer Reid? The Spencer Reid?" He grins. "Are you- are you and the agent neighbor one in the same?"

You sharply inhale, eyes widening when everyone turns to stare at your rapidly blushing face. Steve's grin turns rather teasing and your eyes narrow at him. "Two words; octopus dick." Steve's amusement vanishes, and everyone turns towards a now blushing Steve as Bucky guffaws. You turn your gaze on him next. "I don't know why you're laughing, dolphin boy."

Bucky immediately shuts up and Steve shakily grins before addressing the team. "Okay! Now that we've all been introduced, lets get inside before Y/N starts a war she can't finish."

Morgan and JJ are the only two to follow after Steve, Bucky, and Clint. Emily and Garcia remain with you and Spencer, and both females look to you with pleading eyes.

"Please tell me how four innocuous words got two supersoldiers to blush like that?" Garcia asks, Emily nodding along with her. "I need to know!"

"Sorry, girls," you tell them. "Those stories get out and I'm dead meat."

The both of them grumble about not getting answers, but move on without fuss. Before you can follow, however, Spencer steps closer to you. "You won't even tell me?" He asks, voice quiet.

You huff. "You already know."

Spencer's answering smile is enough to make you roll your eyes and he's quick to keep pace with you as you enter the building. There are numerous people milling about, but since it's late most of the trainees are in bed. Every piece of furniture and fixture still seems brand spanking new, so you don't blame the BAU team looking around in awe.

Heading into the chosen office, you lead Spencer inside before catching Steve's attention. "I'm gonna let you guys get to work. I'll be setting up in my room if anyone needs me."

No one objects, so after taking your bag from Spencer you take your leave. You leisurely make your way towards the living quarters of the compound and find your room with ease. Opening the door, the familiarity of it brings a tired smile to your face. The lamps have been turned on, awaiting your arrival, and even the TV has been turned on with its volume on low. The walls and bedding is the same as everyone else has, but you know it's your room because of the personal pictures on the dresser and bedside tables.

Since you're going to be staying until the case is over and then probably a couple days more after, you decide to put your clothes in the dresser rather than leave it in your bag for the entire time. After that's done and you've switched your TV to a movie you like, you pick out a standard set of black sleep pants and a blue/gray shirt that every trainee at the compound wears to bed so you can shower before crawling into bed yourself.

You're grateful for the private bathroom and even more grateful to see the products you use already waiting for you. You turn on the water to the shower, grab a towel from the bathroom closet and set it on the counter along with your change of clothes before you start to strip.

You keep your hair in a topknot as you shower since you had washed it earlier that morning, so your shower is over within ten minutes. Then by the time you're dried off and dressed in fresh clothes, and your teeth are brushed, you exit the bathroom.

Stepping into your room, you startle at the sight of Spencer sitting on the small cushioned bench at the foot of your bed. He's staring up at the moving playing, the corner of his lips quirked up in amusement. But at your small gasp, he looks towards you, lips spreading into a fond smile.

"Captain Rogers said it was okay that I wait for you. I don't mean to intrude."

"Spence," you huff a laugh and then continue on towards your bed, "we have keys to each other's apartments and sometimes barge in without warning. I think you waiting in here is more than okay."

"Just needed to make sure," he says, "what with this being a new place and all."

"Mhmm." You sit on the edge of the bed that's right behind the bench, putting your feet on the cushion beside Spencer and practically hug your knees as you stare at him. "How did everyone settle in?"

"E-Everyone's good." Spencer turns sideways, grinning up at you. "We got our own rooms here so we don't have to be back and forth from a hotel. When we left, Garcia was being introduced to the holographic tables and now I don't think she's going to sleep tonight."

You chuckle. "I knew she'd fall prey to all the pretty tech here." He chuckles along with you. "And how did everyone take the news to hearing the details about the case?"

"They're taking it very personally," Spencer tells you. "Mr. Barton even asked to stay on as a consultant. He and agent Romanoff are not very happy."

"Well they might not be as smart as you, Doc, but I think they're going to be a big help. You guys will be out of here in no time with the bad guy in cuffs."

"Is that so?" He muses. You grin and nod. "And if we're out of here in no time, are we still waiting until you go home for that discussion we still need to have?"

"We can table the discussion," you say, "but I really need to do this before I chicken out."

"Do what?"

Without thinking too much more about it, you reach out to cradle Spencer's jaw in the palms of your hands. You bring his face closer to yours, pausing with barely an inch between your lips. It seems he's held his breath in surprise, but when he notices you're waiting for some sort of unspoken permission it's him who closes the gap.

There's nothing heated or rushed about the kiss- it merely being a chaste kiss of several little pecks before he catches your bottom lip between his teeth. You smile, your lip popping free from where it stretches, and you giggle as he leans up to chase your lips.

"Ahem." The interruption causes you to jerk back from Spencer, eyes wide when you catch sight of Bucky leaning against your door jamb and looking quite smug. "Hope I'm not interrupting." You groan, laying your forehead on Spencer's shoulder while he quietly snorts. "So with this new development, does this mean our threesome will now be a foursome?"

You can't help but laugh and sit straight once more so you can see your friend. Unfortunately, the question actually gives you pause and there's a split second where you actually give it thought. But in the next moment your nose wrinkles and you shake your head. "What? No!"

He points at you, eyes gleaming. "You paused! You paused which means that no just turned into a maybe. I'm gonna go tell Stevie we're back in the game!"

"James!" Spencer finally laughs and you groan again when Bucky pushes off the door jamb, whistling as he walks away. "I hate my friends."

"Just wait until Morgan finds out. It'll be worse." Spencer chuckles as you sigh, and he gets up before walking around to the side of your bed. He places his palms down on the mattress, leaning over you to kiss you once more. "I'm gonna go to my room before Sergeant Barnes brings back reinforcements."

"Okay. I'll probably see you around the compound, but I'll do my best to stay out of your hair while you're looking for your unsub."

"Are we still talking after?"

"Of course. Well we can either talk or order in some Chinese and hole up in one of our apartments for a weekend. Your call."

"I like the second option," he says.

"I figured you would." You kiss him one last time and then push against his chest. "Now go. We'll figure things out soon."

#spencer reid x reader #marvel gen fic x reader #avengers imagine #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid imagine #marvel imagine #spencer reid #steve rogers #bucky barnes #clint barton #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #derek morgan #fanficimagery

[wdwmarveldisney]

Hiiiii this is really dumbbbbb but I love ur work!!! Can I request one w isaac where the reader is afraid of like cutting her hair like it gives her anxiety and isaac helps her?? Idk like maybe she's stiles sister and like stiles is pressuring her about it? Thanks luv u lots ❤ totally fine if ur like whatever never doing this lol

Tonsurephobia

Isaac Lahey x Stilinski!reader with long hair

Summary: Stiles is pressuring you to cut your hair and with a fear of having your hair cut, you call Isaac to help you out.

Masterlist

A/N: Okay sorry it took so long to post this. I did a little research into this so hopefully it’s accurate too because I’d really hate to upset someone so please tell me if I got something wrong.

GIF isn’t mine

You loved your brother. Honestly, he is so important to you and you look up to him and respect him but oh my god, you just wanted to kill him sometimes. It would just get to a point where you wanted to just wack him with the thing closest to you. Like right now, you were debating throwing the book in your hands at him as he spoke. You weren't really taking any of the words in, your fierce glare unnoticed by the ranting boy. Stiles was talking to you about cutting your hair after it got in the way and almost got you killed. It had blocked your view and your shot was off and then the wolf attacked you and you're only human so it took a while to heal. And now you were being lectured on cutting it.

You would, honestly. You understood where he was coming from and you knew that it was the right thing to do but for some reason, it terrified you. Whenever you had to even think about it, you would shake and cry and it would slowly get so bad that it was a panic attack. So naturally you did your research and found out it was a common fear called tonsurephobia. Mostly seen in children but it can stick with some people as they grow older. There were quite a few ways to help with it but most involved having another person there to help reassure you and such and you weren't telling anyone about your phobia. You just knew that they probably wouldn't understand and you didn't need that.

You heard Stiles huff, your gaze flickering up and meeting his as you realised you spaced out and was staring at the book in your hands. Your brother had his arms crossed, frown on his face, "Are you even listening?" Your head tilted to the side, an expression of thought making him scoff. The book fell into your lap as your hands rested on top of it and you leant forward just a tad, "Not really, no," You watched him groan into his hands before muttering about giving up and leaving the room. As you watched him leave, you couldn't help but think that he was right. That maybe it was time to start working on it. So you called the one person you felt comfortable talking about this with.

Isaac took a little while to get there and because Stiles was home, he had to climb through your window. The first thing he had done was tackle you onto the bed which had you both giggling. You hadn't told him over the phone why you needed him but had said you needed him as soon as possible. "Hey," You ran a hand through Isaac's curls, the boy grinning as he pecked your lips a couple times. "Hi. What's up?" You shrugged, considering backing out but Isaac immediately noticed and frowned at the fact you were so panicked. Realising that he'd used his werewolf abilities to pick out your anxiety, you huffed and pouted, "Fine. I want to cut my hair,"

"Okay?"

"And I don't like having my hair cut," He looked so confused so you began to explain it in a bit more depth, "Apparently its called tonsurephobia. It's a fear of having your hair cut, I sometimes have panic attacks when I have to do it," Isaac slowly nodded in understanding and brushed back some hair out of your face. He sat up, pulling you with him, "So, you want me here to help?" You gave a small nod, linking your hand with his as you avoided any eye contact. It felt so stupid as you spoke and you were pushing down the nausea at the thought of ridicule. But Isaac just squeezed your hand tighter and tilted your head down to try and catch your eye, "Okay, so what do I have to do then?"

Isaac laughed when you looked at him wide eyed in disbelief, "So, you don't think it's weird or anything? You're, like, completely understanding?" The boy grinned as you watched him apprehensively, seemingly waiting for him to say something different. He pulled you closer, smiling sweetly as he kissed your nose, "Well, yeah. You're the same with me. So do you want me to actually cut the hair or...?" Your face relaxed and your head fell onto his shoulder in relief. You could feel him laugh and felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, "Um, yes. Yeah, I want you to, um, cut it," your fingers began to fiddle with his as he nodded with a small okay.

You shakily got up and went to go get scissors but Isaac caught your wrist and pulled you back. His smile seemed hesitant and worried, "You know you don't have to, right?" At your silent nod, Isaac wrapped his arms around your waist and stared up at you with this gaze of comfort that had you relaxing slightly, "Okay, if you're sure," his fingers grazed just under your shirt as you grinned wobbly and slipped out of his arms to go over to your desk. The scissors were under a bunch of papers and pens and wires. Once you’d dug them out, you held them out to Isaac who slowly took them. Pulling the spinny chair out to the middle of the room, you fell into it with a death grip to the arm rests.

Isaac immediately noticed and placed the scissors down on the bed in order to just run his fingers through it. He could hear the trembling breaths and could see how tightly you had your eyes screwed shut. You could tell he was hesitant to do it so with one deep breath, you tried to pull yourself together. “Alright,” your voice shook and was extremely quiet compared to your usual loud sarcastic self, “Just above the shoulders, maybe. Means I won’t have to cut it for a while,” Even though you couldn’t see him, Isaac nodded and reached for the scissors and grabbed a brush from your nightstand.

He was careful and gentle, trying his hardest to not trigger anything. He knew what it was like to have this big fear of something and he knew how suffocating it could be. So he was being mindful of it all and you were so grateful for him. Isaac stopped turning you to check if it all seemed even and then he spun you to face him, holding your hands with this goofy smile that cheered you up. He quickly intertwined your fingers and when he spoke, you could hear the joking edge, “Now just remember, I’ve never cut hair before,” A small groan left your lips, smile growing slowly on your face which made him chuckle, “It’s terrible, isn’t it?”

“No, I’m not that bad,” he seemed genuinely offended by your words but the two of you were giggling still as he pulled you up. You followed him to a mirror, a hand covering your eyes before it dropped and you could see yourself reflected back. Isaac arms were wrapped around your shoulders as he nervously grinned at you. The haircut wasn’t actually that bad, pretty decent. There was a few pieces that were too long or too short but they weren’t overly noticeable. You actually looked really good.

You turned to peck Isaac’s lips, thanking him as he relaxed into you. “Oh thank god,” you laughed into his hair as his head rested on your shoulder. You were so glad to have Isaac by your side.

#isaac lahey imagine #isaac lahey x reader #isaac lahey #teen wolf x y/n #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf imagine #talks about a severe phobia

[snxxiao]

Your Fall | Tsukishima Kei (feat. Yamaguchi Tadashi)

—Pairing: Tsukishima x f! reader, Yamaguchi x f! reader (kinda, not really)

—Summary: When you were head over heals for his best friend, how was Tsukishima meant to tell you his real feelings? 

—Content: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, unrequited love, pining, everyone is really bad at emotions, drinking (of age), mentions of vomit/nausea, innocent! reader, college party, heartbreak, heated make out sessions, a bit of groping, young love, clueless (read: idiot) everyone, corruption kink if you squint,  slow burn (?), yams and tsuki are kind of ooc, loss of innocence? (kinda idk), walking in on two people doing the deed, cussing!!, virgin! reader, possessive! Tsukishima, tsuki is a little out of a perv?, very very loose discription of a panic attack if you squint real hard, vi I think that’s it?? Tell me if I’m missing something :)

—WC: 8.5K 

—Notes: first full blown one-shot for this blog!! Woo!! It’s not even nsfw, idk how I managed to do that. I just got into an angst reading mood and decided to write this so here we are! I’m still not fully happy with it, but I never really like the things I write so it’s okay :). I’m not happy with the ending, either, so at some point. I might come back and fix it. Umm,, oh! There will be a nsfw part 2 at some point called “winter”. I was originally going to add it here, but by the time I finished the main story, I realised it was already 8k (plus I didn’t really know how to include it bc I hate when smut is just thrown into a fanfic without incorporating it to the plot) and decided just to include it in another part :) when it’s finished I’ll like it bother here and on my Masterlist :) have a nice day!! Sorry if this was bad!!

—Masterlists <3

Yamaguchi was an easy man to love. You knew that very well. How exactly couldn’t he be? With his big puppy-dog eyes and his warm heart to match, how was anyone meant to not fall for him? 

He was the type to carry around hair ties or pads just in case you needed them. The type to always offer up his jacket when you were cold.  Not to mention the freckles- oh my god weren’t his freckles just the cutest thing? He was the perfect man. You knew that, of course you did.

You had been nursing a crush on him since you first made it into Karasuno. You had bumped into the then second year on your very first day. You had somehow managed to get lost enough to end up in the second-year hallways, and he, being the oh-so-kind gentleman he was, helped you back to class.

Back then it was just a crush, puppy-dog love if you wanted to call it that. To be honest, you even followed him around like a lost puppy. But you couldn’t help it, you were just so enamored by his being. All logical thoughts didn’t matter, only those surrounding your senior did, and that was okay. Of course it was. 

Ever since that day, you did everything you could to force your way into his tight nit friend group- even if that meant having to put up with the berates of Tsukkishima Kei. You just wanted to be around Yamaguchi in any way you could, and if that meant putting up with the mongrel that stole your food and called you an idiot, you would take it. It was all worth it for Tadashi. 

He was like spring- the warmth, the happiness, the new beginnings. It was amazing. 

To everyone else, your crush on him was obvious. Whenever you were around him, whenever he was giving you the slightest bit of attention, your cheeks would always become flushed. Your words would stutter. You’d give him gifts you that you didn’t seem to give anyone else. Not to mention how you would go all out for valentines day, spoiling him with homemade chocolates and any gifts you could find. 

How could everyone not notice when it was so very obvious?

But, as stories like these go, it wasn’t obvious to him. He just thought you were nice. Maybe shy like him! You guys could understand each other because you were both so timid, must’ve been one of the reasons you were always around him and Tsukki, right? You must’ve been too nervous to make friends with anyone in your own grade. He didn’t mind, he liked your company. He hoped you guys would stay friends even after high school. You were a kind, calming personality to be around- a perfect comparison to Tsukki. 

He was naïve, you both were. 

Of course, he didn’t know about your feelings.

Tsukkishima, on the other hand, was the first person to notice. How could he not? No other girls really gave his best friend the attention that you did. None of them brightened at the slightest amount of physical affection from his friend. None of them made food or brought snacks to him. Obviously, he made fun of your antics, how could he not? You looked so stupid with your ears pink, your voice stuttering.

You were especially cute when he was teasing you, how your personality did a 180-degree flip for him. He got to see the side of you that you never let Yamaguchi see out of fear that he wouldn’t find you appealing. The side that was quick-witted and loud while still managing to maintain an air of innocence. The side that would surly make Yamaguchi turn his head up at the idea of even dating you. It was the same side that made Tsukkishima actually like to be around you. He loved your reactions; they were always so funny. How could he stop himself from teasing you? Especially when Yams was around.

Tsukkishima would never admit that he found you cute though- anytime the thought crossed his mind he’d push it away and shun it. You weren’t cute, just annoying, and stupid like everyone else. It wasn’t his fault that you gave amazing reactions. That’s all he wanted- a reaction out of you. Not for you to pay attention to him, to get your attention away from Yamaguchi for one goddamn minute of your life. Not for you to let go of that faux, overly shy persona that you had when it was his best friend around. Of course, it wasn’t that.

Thankfully, much to Tsukkishima’s delight (even if it was delight he was not yet willing to admit to), as you grew closer to the two men, you let the personality you had around Yamaguchi falter a bit more. The longer you three stayed friends, the more comfortable you must’ve felt. Yamaguchi didn’t really pick up on any difference, but Tsukkishima, whether it was consciously or not, did.

He noticed how your words would stutter less, how you slowly gained more confidence around them. How you were more willing to fight back against Tsukki, even in the presence of Yamaguchi. He liked it, it made you more fun to be around. They weren’t just your seniors anymore; they were your best friends.

You three did everything together- shopping, karaoke, meals. On special days you even brought Tsukki a bento box. He didn’t like to admit it, but he loved your cooking. The cute touches you added made him smile inside. Still, he kept convincing himself that the only reason he wanted to smile was because your childish antics were so stupid.

The only time he even came close to realizing his feelings for you was when he finally noticed how many guys confessed their feelings to you. When he picked you up at your locker (a habit he gained after learning you two attended the same cram school), more often than not there was a confession letter waiting inside. He never really noticed them, though. That was until white day, March 14th.

 He saw you coming down to your lockers after your club activity, a giant stuffed dog held firmly in your arms. That was something he surly noticed. Something he couldn’t miss. 

“What the hell is that?” he asked, glaring slightly at the offending object in your possession. He had no right to be jealous, he hadn’t even come to terms with the fact he liked you. But he knew you having something like that made him upset.

“Hmm? Oh! This? Some guy gave it to me,” you smiled, a pink blush dusting your cheeks, “His name is Ruffus!” He rolled his eyes at the stupid name you gave the stuffed puppy before smirking slightly. You were blushing, that meant Yamaguchi must’ve given it to you right? You did give him home made chocolates on valentine’s day. You were probably so happy because this meant he was finally reciprocating.

“Ahhh, I get it. Yams gave that to you huh? So, you two are finally a thing? Took both of you long enough.” You blushed at his comment.

“Of course, not you idiot, some guy in my class gave it to me. I didn’t even give him anything for valentine’s day.” You told him as you opened your locker. He looked inside, noticing quite a few pink cards located inside. The same type of envelopes those guys put their disgusting confession letters in. The feeling in his gut sparked back up.

You didn’t pay them any attention though, you just stuffed them into your bag so you could write them each a letter back, rejecting them as politely as you could. That’s what you normally did, anyway. The letters weren’t really anything new. 

“Yams’ didn’t get me anything.” You said, forcing a smile, “I would say there’s next year, but you two are graduating, gonna leave me all alone! How will I survive!” You smiled at him and continued on your way to the train station. He actually felt bad for you. He normally doesn’t feel bad for anyone, but there you were, still pining after a guy who hadn’t shown any interest in you for over a year. He knew you had plenty of options (himself being one of them), but there you were, still going after his best friend who saw you as northing more then a cute little sister.

He wanted to tell you to get over him, but he was never very good at expressing what he wanted to say in words. Even if he did tell you, you both knew your feelings wouldn’t just go away. He could just tell you that Yams liked some other girl, but something in him told him not to. He didn’t want to see you sad.

So, instead, the next day he popped into your classroom early in the morning. Before you were even able to greet him, he walked over to you, put a stuffed frog on your head, then left the room without saying anything. He had never done something like that before, he wasn’t the type to give people gifts. You were confused, very confused over his actions. But happy.

He knew a gift from him was different then a gift from Yamaguchi, Yamaguchi was better than him after all. But, he had the urge to help in some way, so getting you a gift was the least he could do.

---

When graduation rolled around for your third-year best friends, you were there to support them. You always would be. You had flowers for the two of them, as well as a big dinner planned for later that night. You were going to treat them. The thought made you smile, they really deserved it.

After the ceremony, when you arrived to their classroom, Yamaguchi looked as handsome as ever, but then again, when didn’t he? His smile looked so pretty talking to his classmates. You wished he was smiling at you. But then again, when didn’t you?

Tsukkishima finally came over to you before Yamaguchi did. He had an annoyed scowl when you gave him the flowers, but then again, he always did, didn’t he? You were so proud of your friends that today you didn’t mind the teasing or the typical rude comments. You just wanted to spend a nice, happy, last day of high school with your crush and your best friend.

---

Your friends had both gotten into the same university, a university that you hoped to attened yourself the following year. You couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. You wanted to be with them again.

When the next school year started up you realized how terribly you missed the duo. Sure, you had other friends in your classes, but it wasn’t the same as the time you got to spend with the seniors you held so close to your heart. So, what else could you do other then put your head into a book and study? You worked as hard as you could to be able to make it into their university. Then you’d get to spend time with your friends once again.

As expected when their classes started up you didn’t get to see them as often, typically only getting to text them rather then actually meet in person. Yamaguchi seemed really supportive about you going to university with them, often sending you texts of encouragement on long nights of studying. Even better was when he had the time he took you out to get coffee, then to the local library to help you study. It reminded you why you started to like him in the first place; you wanted to be better for him. Better then just a silly little high school girl with a silly little crush.

Tsukishima, while you hoped would be just as supportive as Yams, didn’t really seem to care much. The occasional hangout still took place, you both still texted. However, college was stressful; it was really hard. Never mind his volleyball career and the countless hours he put into practice. The time you used to take up in his life was now consumed by school. You didn’t really expect any more or any less from him. At least you still had Yamaguchi, that was who you really needed, right?

 He was your springtime, remember?

---

Finally, you managed to do it! You graduated your final, painstaking year of high school! Even got into your top university, the one Tsuki and Yams went to! You were so excited. You couldn’t believe it when you got your acceptance letter.

Finally, you would be re-united with your best friends again. It would be just like high school all over again, right?

As per usual, you were wrong. It seemed like most of the time you were. While they were both happy for you (overjoyed actually), when you finally started attending the university, the dynamic was drastically different than before. You hoped you would get to spend time together once again, just like you did back in the good old days. You hoped you would all get to eat lunch together, hang out after school, study together. But none of that was really the same.

Your and Tsuki’s schedule always lined up together, however, Yamaguchi’s always ended being the opposite. Which left you and Tsukishima to hang out a lot more often, something neither of you could really argue with. He missed you, a lot more then he was willing to admit. You missed your big old oaf as well, especially your late-night talks about life. More often than not, he ended up in your room until the moon was high in the sky, just, talking to you. After his long, stressful days, you were the exact break he needed.

Your talks never got emotional, at least they didn’t on his end. But that was okay, you didn’t mind. That was always just… him. And you liked your friendship with him. Whenever your conversations ventured to Yamaguchi, he made sure to never talk about his friends love life. The crushes he had on other girls at the time, his friends ideal type, none of that. Maybe that was a mistake, he didn’t know. Maybe you would have finally taken the hint and gotten over your feelings. He just didn’t want to hurt you. The way your eyes lit up when his best friend was around, he couldn’t take that away from you. That just wasn’t right. He just wanted to see you happy. That was his excuse.

As the years continued on, your puppy-love that originally began in high school had only grown and bloomed into a full-fledged love for none other than Yamaguchi Tadashi, the innocence with it still carried over. He had nurtured that love without even knowing it himself. He was an easy man to love. In your second year of college, you knew that for sure.

There you were, laying on the floor with Tsukishima occupying the bed like most other nights. That day you had gone out with the two of them, now, you were flustered. Mad even. That day, while you were out, you noticed Tadashi staring at a pretty 4th year girl. His cheeks were completely flushed, and when she managed to bump into him on accident, he could barely utter a word. The two of you were opposites, that was pretty obvious, even if it was just based on looks alone. She was graceful and elegant, and so very mature. While you were still cute and innocent; your second year of college and you hadn’t even had your first kiss yet.  

It hurt, it really, really hurt to see that. So, you now sat there, stewing in silence as Tsuki kicked your head for the umpteenth time trying to get your attention.

“Oi, you fre-“

“I think Tadashi is into experienced girls.” You said abruptly, finally breaking out of your once quiet demeanor. Tsuki shifted uncomfortably, not really knowing how to traverse around this.

“What the fuck are you on about this time?”  Was the response he settled with. You turned around, finally making eye contact with him.

“Think about it! We both saw how he was around that girl today!” You pouted, standing up. You put your hands on your hips. Kei thought you looked stupid (cute) like that, with your cheeks all puffed out in obvious irritation.

“Yeah and?”

“Do you think if I was more experienced then I would have a chance with him?” He really didn’t know how to answer this one. It was one of the subjects he always avoided. He knew Tadashi’s ideal type, but he would never actually tell you it.

“(y/n)..” he signed out, rubbing his face slightly in irritation. That’s when you said words he never thought he would actually hear from you.

“Could you teach me how to kiss?” It was silly of you to think knowing how to kiss would suddenly make him fall in love with you, but people did silly things for love didn’t they? You crawled between his legs, looking up at him with a smile and a pale pink blush adorning your features.

Tsukishima sat up straighter than he had before, and looked at you with evident shock across his features. You, his innocent little best friend, was asking him for kissing lessons? You were sitting so prettily between his legs? You weren’t actually serious were you? Sure, he knew how to, he had quite a bit of experience and that kind of thing didn’t mean much to him with other girls. And sure, the idea did excite him- but no. No, he couldn’t do that. Not to his best friend who was in love with their green-haired counterpart.

“Idiot, stop talking out of your ass.” He said, turning his face away from yours, a pink settling on his cheeks as well, “You wanted to save that for someone you cared about.” He knew this, of course he did. And he wasn’t that person. For some reason, at the thought of that, something panged in his heart.

“So what? It doesn’t matter anymore does it? I don’t care about that kind of thing anymore.” Yes you did. You both knew you did. Kei was the only one who was willing to admit it though.

He signed and tried to push you away from him slightly, “Yes you do. You just need to sleep this idiocity of yours off.” He was blunt about it, he always was. But, suddenly he felt a gentle tug on the bottom of his shirt and he instinctively met your gaze once again. His eyes couldn’t help but widen.

“Pl-please Kei…? I… I really need your help… I’m too inexperienced… I trust you a lot.. and I really need your help with this…” Now you were just flat out begging him. It tugged on his heart strings; it really did. He never wanted to make you sad.

He signed, you were always able to make him give in to stupid things. Only you though.

“Fine. But don’t come to me asking for shit like this again.” He stated bluntly. And suddenly, all the sadness vanished from your face, replaced with that big stupid smile he told himself he hated.

“Thank you! Thank you so much! You’re the best person in the world!” And for once, maybe he believed it. When you spoke things so earnestly, it was hard for him not to believe them. He rolled his eyes.

“You better not regret this okay?” He spoke softly. He slowly reached out and took you chin between his forefinger and thumb, leading your face closer to his.

“I promise I won’t.”

And with that last bit of consent he needed, he kissed you.

It was gentle, so gentle. It was too easy to kiss him back. Your grip stayed firm on the bottom of his shirt, your eyes screwed shut awkwardly tight. Eventually, he pulled away only to kiss you again, this time deeper and more passionate. He felt years of weight rushing off of him all at once and he had no clue why. All he knew is that for some reason he was finally able to relax. He removed his hand from your chin, instead resting it on your waist gently.

Before he realized what he was doing, he gently licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You squeaked but nevertheless obliged, opening your mouth just enough so he could move his tongue inside.

He kiss itself was slow and passionate. He slowly coaxed out what he wanted from you without exchanging any words. The only time the two of you pulled away was to take a breath before he kissed you again and again, each one rougher then the last. Eventually, you began to relax into his touch, into him as he kept going. You never really thought just kissing another person could feel this good.

At some point throughout the exchange, Tsukishima had managed to take hold of your ass, pulling you onto his lap. You let out a little whine when he gripped you too hard. That whine excited him. He didn’t think he could take it anymore. He was getting hard, too hard. Your innocence, your inexperience. He loved all of it.

He wasn’t thinking anymore, why should he think when he gets so drunk off of just kissing you?

Oh right.

That’s why.

Because its you. His best friend of 5 years who was hopelessly in love with someone else. Someone that wasn’t him. It made him upset, deeply so. Why didn’t you love him the same way you loved Yamaguchi? What did Yamaguchi have that he didn’t?

Wait, was he in love with you?

Thoughts over the last 5 years finally registered with him as you began to pull your shirt off. As much as he wanted to continue, this was all too much for him to deal with him at the moment. Years of feelings and emotions that he kept supressed rushed out of him like the Niagra falls. It was too much. This was too much.

That’s when he remembered, you weren’t doing this for him. You were doing it because you wanted Yamaguchi to like you. He had to stop this.

You moaned again and pulled away from the kiss, once again attempting to remove the annoying material known as your shirt. If he didn’t know the truth maybe he really would believe it, that you actually cared about him and wanted to do this.

Abruptly, Tsukishima stood up, causing you to fall back onto the plush, stuffed animal covered bed. You looked at him confused. He must’ve just been nervous to take things farther, he probably thought you didn’t want to. It was okay! You needed to learn about that stuff too anyway if you were going to show Yamaguchi how mature and elegant you could be. Just like that other girl. The girl he really liked.

“‘S okay!” You smiled and sat up on the bed, “We can keep going, I don’t mind.” You looked at him with hopeful eyes, expecting him to move back on top of you to continue. But instead, he began to grab his things and make way for the door. You were confused. Why was he acting like this all of a sudden? Didn’t he say he would help? Didn’t he wanna do this? You quickly got up and grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Did I do something wrong? Was I that bad?”

“No.” He bluntly stated, not looking back at you. He couldn’t deal with this. He pulled his arm away, “Just confess to him already. This is getting annoying. Shit it’s been annoying. It’s been 5 fucking years!” Suddenly, you felt insecure. You felt rejected.

“Wh-what? But I thought…”

“You thought wrong. Just tell him you like him.” And with that, he left your dorm room. He really didn’t understand why he was getting so upset, he didn’t exactly have a right to either. He had never felt this jealous before. He didn’t feel it when he fucked around with girls, didn’t feel it when guys hit on the other girls he had been interested it, but you were different. He needed to come to terms with these newly discovered feelings, yet he didn’t know if he could ever actually face you again. Not with you still head over heels for Yamaguchi.

So, the days trailed on with no sign of Tsukishima. Yamaguchi was showing up less and less, too. Presumably, he was meeting up with that girl again, Riko, as you learned her name to be. You saw them around campus a few times. But you didn’t let yourself admit the truth. You didn’t want to. It was better to just protect your heart. They were just friends, study partners. Had to be right?

The worst of it was that whenever you tried to talk to Tsuki, he always left you on read or said something so dry that you couldn’t reply to it. Seems like your spring, your happiness, your youth had finally faded.

Over the coming weeks you were alone again. Just like high school, you took to studying to drown out the feelings of loneliness. Helplessness maybe. Eventually, you stopped trying to spend time with them. It was obvious Kei had been ignoring you since that night, and Yamaguchi was clearly occupied with his summer fling.

That’s it.

This had to be the feeling of summer. Uncomfortable, alone, and warm. School was over, it wasn’t as easy to be around friends. There were still pretty flowers, they just weren’t around you. You had to seek refuge in your cool house. The cold was much more calming.

But eventually, you got tired of that too. You were tired of this. All the awkward tension, all the avoidance of each other. Maybe, just maybe, if you couldn’t save your relationship with Tsuki, you could at least save it with Yamaguchi.

You chose a day and marked it on your calendar. That was the day you would finally tell him your true feelings. Up until now, you were too scared of the rejection, too scared of loosing him, but you practically already had. Your friendship with the two men was in shambles, so if there was an all or nothing chance that could make things better, you decided you needed to take it.

If he rejects you, you decided that you could take it. You have to take it. You cant just sit there pining after him anymore. Back in your younger years you thought that you might still have a chance if you just waited it out. Maybe he would confess! But he never did. Maybe you just needed to confess your feelings to get over him. Maybe just maybe that’s what you wanted.

Or maybe you wanted him to accept you with open arms. You didn’t really know what you wanted. You just wanted to be done with the drama your crush on him has brought you so you could go back to spring.

But seasons change. The cruel clock continues to tick on and on without stopping. Once you passed spring you couldn’t get it back.

—-

Finally, when that fated day arrived, you walked up to his dorm. You tried your best to look nice and calm, but you knew you weren’t very good at that. Even when you tried your hardest you always looked slightly disheveled. You once hoped it was something Yamaguchi would like about you, but it never seemed like it was. Tsukishima loved it though, he was finally willing to admit it too.

You looked down at his door handle and noticed a sock placed on it. Looking back on that moment, you wished you knew what it meant. That might’ve saved you from seeing what you did.

You had a lot of wishes.

But alas, you never got that lesson from your female friends- hell you didn’t really had any close female friends other than the guy’s team managers in high school. So, in your naïveté, you gently took the sock off the handle, maybe it somehow ended up there when he was doing the laundry? He was clumsy like that. You shrugged it off and twisted to see if it was locked. It was.

That should have been your second red flag to turn back, he always kept his door unlocked.

But, once again, you always seemed to make the wrong choice.

You found your keys, pulling them out of your pocket. Located on the ringlet was the same key he had given to his dorm back at the beginning of the school year. Back when the 3 of you were closer. You suck it in the keyhole and turned it before opening the door, the sight inside scaring you.

Yamaguchi had his face scrunched up in pleasure, his cock buried deep inside Riko’s cunt. She was on her hands and knees with her back bent at an angle that couldn’t have been comfortable. Your eyes went wide as the sound of skin slapping against skin was all you could hear. Suddenly, you felt hot. Very hot. You couldn’t breathe either. It was like you had just run a marathon in 90-degree heat. It was awful.

You wished you had just turned around and ran before Yamaguchi saw you, you really wished you did. But you were frozen in place. It was like the summer heat had dragged you down to the fiery pits of hell.

Eventually, when he did see you, his face flushed even brighter than it had been before. He quickly pulled out of her, hurriedly dressing the two of them while you just stood in place. How long did you stand there? You had no idea.

You should have been happy for your friend; you really wish you could have been. You wished you could have just said something funny and walked away like nothing happened. If only your 5-year love for the man wasn’t in the way. Without it, this would have just been an awkward experience, not an utterly heartbreaking one. You didn’t have a right to be upset either, you knew that; you didn’t have a claim over him. But it still hurt. It hurt more than anything else. Like a sunburn after a long day at the beach.

“A-ah! (Y/n)! I didn’t know you were coming over!” Yamaguchi laughed out awkwardly, finally pulling up his pants. Of course he wasn’t hurting like you. He was in a relationship. You wanted him to be happy. Its what he deserved after making you feel so happy, so cared about for so many years.

So, what else could you do other than you force a smile onto your face. You could wallow in your own emotions another time.

“Yeah! I just needed to um.. grab something! I didn’t know you were in here.” You said, fumbling with your words a bit, “But I see you’re busy! I’ll head out!” You quickly closed the door, leaning against the wall right next to it. You needed a moment to compose yourself before your walk back to your dorm. You didn’t want to burst out into tears in the middle of the campus for everyone to see.

“Who was that?”

“Oh, she’s just my friend from high school!”

“Just a friend? Why did she have a key to your place then? I know I locked the door.”

“Ah, you don’t have to be so worried about her, she’s like my little sister. Sometimes she needs my help with things.”

You wished you just left. Wished you just ran straight home. Wished the walls weren’t as thin as they were. Wished they weren’t standing so close to the door. Anything you could have wished on in that moment you did. Just a high school friend. Just a little sister. Not even one of his best friends. The words made you feel sick. Who cares if anyone saw you crying, you just needed to get out of there. You held a hand over your mouth as you practically ran home, afraid you might actually throw up if you didn’t.

Oh, how the summer stung.

---

You hadn’t left your dorm in days; you really shouldn’t have been as upset as you were. You didn’t have any right to. The most you ever did with poor Tadashi was hold his hand- even that wasn’t in any sort of romantic manor. But still, there you were. Heartbroken. It was only natural really, you knew he didn’t owe you anything, you knew you weren’t in a relationship. He could do whatever he wanted! But that didn’t stop it from hurting. You didn’t think it would ever really stop hurting.

It was on the fifth day that you decided you needed to do something. Something to forget. Go out to a party, get drunk, fuck some random guy. It didn’t matter. Maybe you just wanted to continue the destructive streak you already had going. Why not fuck around and loose your virginity? None of it mattered anyway. Not when the man you had loved since your first year in high school never even thought about loving you back.

Unrequited love was a bitch.

You decided that you needed to get over yourself, get over this pity party you were throwing. Maybe if you went out tonight you could get over him. Maybe then the summer bee sting would finally go away.

You didn’t have many clothes for going out, it wasn’t something you were really into. So, you tried your best to put together an outfit to make yourself feel appealing. Did your hair to make yourself feel pretty. Put on some makeup to feel a tad bit more confident. Even if your skills weren’t that great, it didn’t matter. You felt prettier then you had the whole week. That is what mattered. You didn’t really think guys cared how you dressed anyway, only what was underneath, so it didn’t really matter.

When you finally left the dorm and arrived at one of the various parties going on, the moon was high in the sky. The confidence you had walking to the building had all but vanished when you finally manouvered inside. The music was loud, people were sweaty, the place was a mess. But that didn’t matter right? All that mattered was getting over your spring, some other girls Yamaguchi Tadashi.

After all, one thing that stays the same is the seasons changing.

You made your way over to the kitchen to grab a drink. You never really liked the idea of drinking, the smell making you feel sick, but you needed to let loose. That’s what alcohol was for anyway, wasn’t it? That what all the teen movies you watched as you cried into your pillow told you. It was really childish of you, but you had never gone through heart break before. Maybe you were just a late bloomer. Maybe this was the moment that would make you mature. As you took your first sip, your nose scrunched up, but you kept downing it.

Eventually you made your way to the dance floor, the alcohol taking a firm hold on your system as you finally let loose. You relaxed as you swayed to the music and laughed easily. Your consciousness was still there, you were still clear enough to make decisions. A certain wall had just otherwise broken down.

A guy came up behind you and began grinding against your ass as you danced. You giggled and turned around to face him. He wasn’t unattractive, far from it. If you were going to do this now would be the time to.

“Hey.” You smiled at him. He smiled back.

Little did you know, the source of one of your problems was also there that night, also there trying to drink away his feelings. He was so stupid. Tsukishima knew very well he was. All this time and he never realized his liked you more than just his idiot best friend. And now that he did know, he knew he had no chance with you. Every emotion he didn’t understand surrounding you from all those years came rushing at him tenfold. He didn’t like the dog because he was jealous, he didn’t like the confession letters because he didn’t like the idea other men could have you.

He loved you smile, he didn’t think you looked stupid, he thought you looked adorable. The stuffed animals that he once made fun of you having were now the cutest thing. The reason your food was so good was because you made it, not just because you were a good cook. He was pretty sure you could feed him garbage and he would love it all because you were the one who gave it to him.

He knew why he didn’t like talking about Tadashi with you- it was because he wished he was Tadashi. He wanted to be the one you loved and cared about. But now he knew that that would never happen, all because you loved someone other then him.

He had been avoiding both you and Yamaguchi since all of those realizations. He tried quick fucks to make up for the feelings you left him with, but nothing helped. He was there again that night to try to do the same thing. To look for an easy pussy to stick his dick into as an attempt to get over you. It was better that he did, for all three of you.

That was when he saw you on the dance floor, with some other man’s filthy hands all over you. Hands that should be his. At first he honestly didn’t really believe it was you, he just thought it was whatever drink he was having that night making him delusional. You wouldn’t be at a party like this. You couldn’t be. But when he inched closer and closer, he realized it had to be you. You were standing there in the skimpiest skirt he thought he had ever seen and thigh-highs, with some guy biting disgusting marks into your neck.

When the man whispered something in your ear, you blushed. Tsuki’s face was red for other reasons. He saw the guy take your small hand into his own and start to lead you up the stairs. Wait, no. He couldn’t let that happen. He shouldn’t let that happen. You should be with him. He listened to the thoughts in his head and rushed over to you, pulling you against his chest. The other man stepped back in an offended manor.

“Huh? What are you doing here?” You mumbled out, a pout forming on your lips, your cheeks pushed out just the way he liked. It was so cute. He loved it so much. But right now was not the time to get caught up in his own feelings.

“It doesn’t matter. What are you doing?” He said in a stern manor, glaring down at you dangerously. You giggled and stood on your tippy toes to whisper in his ear. His aggressive deminior didn’t really mean anything.

“I’m gonna get fucked! I think this guy likes me!” You giggled; your cheeks dusted with rose. He scoffed in annoyance, could you really be that stupid?

“No, you’re not. You’re drunk.”

“Hush! I’m not drunk! Perfectly sane!” You smiled, while the other man stared at the two of you awkwardly.

“Hey uh… I’m sorry if this is your girl. I had no clue… Um… I’m gonna go… I don’t wanna be a part of your weird jealous fuck… I’ve been roped into that one too many times before, and it’s never a happy ending.” The stranger said, before awkwardly trotting away and grabbing himself another drink. You whined and pushed at Tsuki’s chest, sad your fuck to get over Tadashi had now walked away and seemingly had no interest.

“What did you do that for?!” You whined and squirmed around cutely like you were actually disappointed. He really hoped you weren’t.

“We’re leaving.” He murmured bluntly, picking you up and carrying you outside of the building. You squirmed the whole time, constantly berating him about putting you down and how he ruined your night. He didn’t listen though, only carried you back to his dorm, most likely waking up all of his neighbors in the process due to your voice.

Only after you finally made it inside did he put you down, dropping you on his bed. He turned his back to you, scavenging through his dresser.

“I cant believe you! And when I was this close-“ He interrupted you, handing you some of his clothes to change into, “What the fuck are these for?” You said, holding them up and shaking them slightly for dramatic effect.

He only sighed and sat down at his desk chair, “You don’t see me as one, but I am a man, (y/n).” You only looked at him confused, but he sighed again, opting to not explain himself further, “You’re staying the night. You should be comfortable.” He turned around in his chair, now facing away from you. Oddly, you missed his gold, piercing stare.

“Oh, so just cause you’re a guy you cant keep your dick in your pants?”

“That’s not what I meant you idiot.”

“That’s what it seems like. I was hoping to have that effect on someone else you know! Not you!”

“I know.”

“Then why the fuck did you take me away?!”

“You were going to regret it. Can you please just shut the fuck up?” He signed, rubbing his temples. It seemed like you were really itching to get in a fight that night. He kind of deserved it, he didn’t have any right to drag you away. What you wanted to do was your choice, he shouldn’t have any say in it. But he couldn’t just stand there and watch as you got taken from him- even if he decided that you would never like him in that way.

You scoffed and stood up, “I’m leaving.” You didn’t want to go.

“Don’t...” You didn’t expect him to say that. You expected him to laugh at you and say see if I care. Did he… care..? Maybe, you didn’t know. It didn’t matter though, as you listened to her stern, dominating voice, you sat back down on the bed, just as he wanted. You stained into his muscular back with confusion and annoyance.

“What do you want Tsukishima.” You asked, well, more so stated. And he really didn’t have an answer for you. He wanted you to fall for him instead of that green haired twig who couldn’t see the amazing thing right in front of him. For once he wanted to be in a dumb romcom where he was the guy the girl actually fell for instead of just the supportive best friend. He wanted you. He wasn’t going to say that though, opting to just change the subject entirely.

“Why were you going to do that?” He questioned, still not able to bring himself to turn around and face you.

“Do what?”

“Fuck him. It wasn’t to.. You weren’t just trying to make yourself more experienced for.. for him right?” He was having trouble finding the exact right words to say. However, when a sudden sharp laugh (a laugh that he loved) moved past your lips he whipped around quickly, watching you almost keel over in laughter.

“Him?” You laughed, “You mean Yamaguchi? Hell no! I was trying to get over that cabbage patch kid.” You calmed yourself down, while Tsuki just stared at you, now it was his turn to be confused.

He had no clue about the events that happened between you and Tadashi, so you explained, “I know, finally right? I walked in on him fucking that chick. I threw myself a pity party and now here I am, trying to get over him before you so rudely pulled- no sorry, carried my ass away.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, you were finally trying to get over him? He knew he should’ve felt bad, your heart had been broken and he wasn’t there to help, but the only thought going through his head were thanks to whatever god there was.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, yeah, here comes all the teasing and mocking, I know the drill. You can spare me from it.”

“I’m sorry that happened.”

“Haha yeah the jokes all on me- what?” You were bamboozled! You had never heard him say those words before, even when he made you cry from mocking you about your creepy pasta phase in high school.

“That sucks, I know you really liked him.”

“I… Yeah.. Yeah it does suck.” You pulled your legs up to your chest, not really knowing how to react in this situation. He had never been this emotionally open with you, never really showed you any form of empathy. You kind of wanted to cry, let your emotions out now that you finally had someone to actually listen to you. All he did was nod, trying not to pay any mind to your pink panties that had now been exposed due to your new position.

“Get changed okay?” He said gently. It was a tone you weren’t used to hearing from him just yet. You nodded your head before he turned back around in his chair. You took that as a sign to get started, pulling off your top and exchanging it for his bigger, comfier volleyball jersey he had handed to you earlier. The sweats he gave you to wear were huge as well, but they were really your only option. You didn’t want to go back to your dorm anymore, it was much too hot there. Summer emotions were strong and evident. But Tsuki’s room, it was cool like fall.

Oh, how you were soon going to love fall.

When you finished changing, you perched yourself back on his bed, nestled into the corner with all the pillows. His bed was comfortable, maybe you wouldn’t mind this sleepover.

“You can look now, I finished.” When he turned around, he should’ve known what to expect. However, he was not anticipating the effect you had on him. If he thought you looked amazing in that skirt, you looked even better in his clothes.

He wouldn’t say anything about it though, you didn’t need that right now.

You fiddled with the bottom of your shirt; things normally weren’t this awkward between you. But then again, you two hadn’t talked for the last couple of weeks, and the last time you did you were begging him to teach you how to kiss.

“So,” You decided to try to make some form of conversation at least, “Why were you out tonight?” You smiled slightly at him as he took his glasses off, “You normally just like to say home and study.”

Same reason you were. “The rest of the team went to it; I just went for them” You nodded in understanding.

“You can come over here, you know? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I wont bite unless threatened.” You smiled, patting the spot next to you in bed.

He hesitated for a moment before you sweetened the deal, “I’ll watch your lame volleyball games with you.” At that he stood up and slid next to you in bed. You couldn’t help but cuddle up to him, resting your head gently against his shoulder, waiting for a nudge off of him that never came. He pulled his phone out and pulled up a game for the two of you to watch. This was nice, this was peaceful. It was like autumn. Your autumn.

After awhile of listening to him talk about the game, you fell asleep nuzzled up to his neck.

—-

In the following months you and Tsuki grew closer- a lot closer, much to his delight. Those late-night talks came back and eventually morphed into sleepovers. Sleepovers where you always found yourself cuddled up to him by morning. Eventually, he even starting initiating affection in his own, albeit rough way. It was relaxing, he was so nice. Well, not literally. He still made fun of you, which resulted in you making fun of him back.

But on those nights where he would be softer and open up to you, it would make you so happy.

Eventually, after seeing you and Tsuki walk around on campus, Yamaguchi realized the friendship he had been neglecting with the two of you. He started hanging out more and more, but the shift in your trio’s dynamic was obvious. You and Tsukishima seemed a lot closer then you two had before, which Tadashi only saw as a good thing. He was happy his friends were finally closer! He smiled at the thought of you three remaining friends even after college.

He was still clueless about people’s emotions towards him, always had been, always will be.

So, your friendship with the boys was back in full bloom. You were excited about it, finally realizing how relaxing it could be to spend time with your friends without stupid emotions in the way.

That was until emotions did, in fact, start to get in the way again.

They always did.

Yamaguchi’s girlfriend broke up with him, and of course, who did he come running to other then you? You let him cry into your arms. You had to. You wanted to make your best friend feel better, but that “making him feel better” did not include him kissing you, at least on your end it didn’t. To him though, it did.

In the middle of his shaking and crying he looked up to you with his red puffy doe eyes. Before you knew it his lips were on yours. You weren’t expecting it, you didn’t know what to do. The moment you had been waiting your whole life for had just presented itself, and all you could think about was Tsukishima and how he kissed you, how he made you feel so good with nothing but his tongue.

You pulled away and stood up, apologizing quickly, and leaving your dorm. Yamaguchi sat there confused as well. Why did he kiss you? He didn’t have the slightest clue either. He was probably just so upset, maybe looking for a rebound. You shouldn’t be his rebound though. He was probably just confused. That’s what the both of you told yourselves anyway. He couldn’t have actually realized his feelings for you in that moment. Tsukishima would’ve told you he didn’t deserve to.

When you arrived at the door, you were hot again. Summer was back and you didn’t know why. But, Tsukishima could cool you down, he always managed to. When he opened the door and saw your distraught figure, he did nothing but open his arms. When you were upset you always seemed to want to be held. He didn’t get it, but making fun of you in that moment wouldn’t help.

You lunged into his arms and held him tight, burring your face in his shirt in an instant. He slowly picked you up, closed the door, and maneuvered over to his bed to sit the two of you down on it. You needed a friend right now.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” You stilled for a moment, taking a long hesitant breath before speaking. You wanted to try to remain as calm as possible.

“Y-Yams he.. his girlfriend broke up with him… He kissed me…” Tsukishima tensed up at this and started to rub circles into your back.

“Oh, he did? Dream come then?” You were gonna leave him again weren’t you?

You only shook your head, “I-I….I don’t think so…” you managed to squeak out, “I don’t know what I’m feeling… I just know I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Tsuki looked at you confused before sighing, now wasn’t the time to have a talk about your potential feelings for him. You just needed to rest.

“Emotions are shitty aren’t they?” He sighed out, you nodded and relaxed against him. Hopefully, you wouldn’t leave him for his idiot best friend. Not this time.

“T-Tsuki… I know I’m being really selfish right now but… I want you to make the pain go away.. I-I don’t think anyone else can do it..” You looked up at him with your eyes watering. It felt wrong to kiss Yamaguchi, like you were enacting a sin that god forbit you from. It felt dirty and wrong.

“What do you want me to do?” He sighed, pushing a strand of hair out of your face. It was sad how easily he gave into you.

“I-I don’t know.. I just feel dirty.. I feel wrong..” You said, bottom lip quivering slightly. He was honestly amazed at this. How could he make you feel like this? Why did kissing Yamaguchi make you feel dirty? Why did you think he could cleanse you? He shouldn’t act. He really shouldn’t. But your lips, they were so soft and inexperienced he kissed you.. would they be the same as last time? Would you be so quick to make a sound? He wanted to know, and he wanted to make you feel better.

So, he leaned down and kissed you. You didn’t pull away, didn’t scream in disgust. Rather, it seemed to be exactly what you wanted. A soft mewl of approval you let out shot straight through him. You learned into his touch, finally starting to cool down. This is exactly what you wanted, exactly what you needed. You need Tsukishima. It finally dawned on you that that’s why you were so repulsed by Yamaguchi kissing you, it was because you didn’t want anyone other then Tsukishima to be doing that kind of thing to you.

Once the kiss finally broke, a string of saliva connected your mouths. You were panting, your head dizzy from the overwhelming emotions. Tsukishima’s eyes just stared down at you, lust clouding his vision as his breathes labored slightly. He wanted to take things further, but he refused to let himself do that just yet. He had already indulged himself too much, but you looked so happy.

“Th-thank you..” You finally breathed out, “I-I.. thank you..” you mumbled, collapsing against the blonde’s chest. The effect he had on you was unbelievable, but it filled you with such pure and utter satisfaction.

He smiled down at you, a real genuine smile, “Get some sleep.” He told you, and you listened.

The following morning wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be. When you woke up, he just held you against his chest. After a long talk that was much too sappy for Tsukishima’s liking, you two eventually decided to give dating a shot.

It scared you a little, you had to admit. You were nervous about your inexperience, most guys your age wouldn’t like that kind of thing right? But he reassured you, adding in a line making fun of you, calling you a baby to lighten the mood. He was happy. So happy. You both were.

This was right, it felt right.

As summer melted away into autumn, you found a new love, a new hope.

Maybe a new start wasn’t spring. Maybe a new start was Autumn after all.

Your fall, your Tsukishima. <3

Thank you all for reading!! Part 2 will be up at some point!! Have a lovely day <3

—masterlists

—rules/ requests

#jelli.writes #flx.haikyuu #flx.tsukishima #haikyuu angst #tsukishima angst #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x you #haikyuu x reader #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi angst #yamaguchi x you #tsukishima oneshot #tsukishima fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #flx.yamaguchi #karasuno x reader #haikyuu imagines #kei x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x you #unrequited love #idiots to lovers #yamaguchi #yamaguchi tadashi #tsukishima idiots to lovers #friends to lovers #j.corruption

[mxvladdy]

Ey, could you make food source reactions for Mammon & Levi like you did with the others?

I've read it like 3 times now, they're all so sweet and believable you did a great job!

You got it Fam! Glad you like them so much lol. (I got a lot more angsty with Mammon than I thought I would but I love him sooooo)

Mammon

This poor man. He gets to spend so little time alone with you. He has to make every second count. Between the hustling, modeling, and running from Lucifer, he’s a pretty busy guy. 

So he plans date nights. Just you, him, and his leather couch. Ya ain’t goin’ nowhere, ya hear? He looks forward to this every month. He pins it on his calendar too just so he doesn’t double book himself. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Just cause he plans this doesn’t mean he necessarily has a plan. Not that you care. Most of his activities turn into trouble anyway, even when he is not trying.  

 Sometimes he teaches you how to play cards (also shows you human ways to cheat-just in case you need it). The hours are spent pleasantly sitting in his lap while he teaches you how to count cards.

But, most nights, he just wants to talk. He enjoys his time with you. You and him cuddling and chatting away the hours before passing out for the night. 

He has a lot of things he wants to know about you. To him, he feels like if he knows you better than the other brothers he’s won. 

Won what? Idk, your affection? Approval? He already has it, but he is insecure about his place in your heart regardless. 

This evening starts out like any other. Mammon dashing to the kitchens to pilfer some snacks and drinks before Beel can steal them all, and you bring your cute self over to his room. 

You two toss back a few drinks and spend some time looking over his latest photo shoots before going on to the main event. Tonight you brought one of your favorite human card games. It was like 20 questions, but some questions were more risque than others. Was it meant for more than two players? Yes, but whatever- Mammon wants to play it so you are.

You both are relaxed and drowsy by the time you start playing. Your stomachs are full of junk, and the morning moons are just on the horizon. It’s the perfect mixture for loose lips and secrets, before falling asleep in each other's arms. 

You pick easy cards first, jumping from silly innocent questions to one that made him blush from ear to ear. The hours pass quickly and Mammon’s answers become more slurred and accented as he tires out. 

He was on the verge of sleep when you ask,  “What’s your favorite dish?” 

It was a slip of the tongue, a long-lost memory pulled up from the dregs of his exhausted mind. He remembers a savory dish Barbatos use to make way back when. He can still smell the savory smoky spices mixing with the fresh vegetables and meat- Oh shit.

He feels you stiffen and he ain’t sleepy anymore, that’s for sure. Immediately up and apologizes. He stumbles over himself in his haste to explain himself. 

You spend the rest of the evening with him in your arms trying to comfort him as he tearfully swears he hasn’t eaten a person in a couple of hundred years. 

Mini Fic

He regrets it the moment the words slip out. His sleepy remark hangs out in the chilly air of his room. He feels you jerk in his arms as if punched. “Shit! I-I didn’t mean.” Mouth agape, he backtracks, tongue working faster than his overtaxed brain. He looks down at your head on his chest. 

Your eyes are wide. Their surprise reflected in the bright blue moonlight. His heart sinks to his stomach. Gods, he ruined it. “I’m sorry- I.”  Pushing you off of his chest he goes to grab his shirt and redress, ignoring the prickling heat growing at the corner of his eyes. He could sleep somewhere else tonight. You could have the room if you wanted, or at least give you a minute to flee in terror from the demon that masqueraded as your friend. He can’t look at you. Hells, he was too ashamed to even glance in your direction. What kind of idiot let’s slip that? They even had a council meeting about this very thing before you arrived. 

So lost in his panic he doesn’t notice you trying to get his attention. It wasn’t until you forcefully grab his arm did he hear you. “It’s ok Mammon.” You engulf him in your warm and comforting scent. Strong arms dragging him back to the crumpled sheets of his bed. Your soft fingers wipe at the silent tears streaking down his cheeks. 

He dislodges himself from your light grasp to rub at his own eyes. “How can ya’ say that?” Where was your sense of self-preservation? Ain’t humans supposed to be aware of such dangers? The irony wasn’t lost on him though. Being your ‘protector’ and all.

You shuffle closer, hellbent on comforting. His pack mark hums gently on his chest when you touch it. As much as his body wanted to run, your pact mark cemented him to his seat. He sits while you fuss over him slowly breathing through his mouth to calm his racing heart. He can’t help but drift closer to you when he feels your hand on the top of his head. When had he become so weak for you? 

“Well-How can I not?” You shrug. He closes his eyes when you start ruffling his fringe. “You’ve been nothing but sweet to me. Yes, you have,” You cut him off firmly before he can object. “Always my number one anyway.” That pulls a wet chuckle from your demon. His eyes clear up at your admission. “I trust you Mammon, honestly. I mean, I kinda knew that you’ve probably eaten a human or two in your life. Knowing, and knowing are more different than I thought.” 

 Mammon cages you in his arms, his nose brushing along your neck and jawline. “Damn-.” He huffs covering you in his warm body, arms tight around your sides. “I’m sorry. I ruined tonight.” Mammon sighs into your skin. 

You hug him back. “Nonsense, if you want to get technical I think you won this game. I can’t top that answer.” You push away with a wide yawn. “Now can we go back to bed?” With a nod, he flops over pulling you down with him. You bully your way into his arms again. Sighing constantly you snuggle in for the night, ready to drift off. His eyelids began to feel heavy again too. Your soft weight on him like a security blanket. He listens to your slowly beating heart, matching his breathing to yours. The rhythmic thumps working to calm him better than his noise machine. He basks in your presence, rubbing his broad hand down your back for a moment before you speak again.

“Hey, Mammon.” 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you think I would taste good?” 

Leviathan 

Awkward boy. Of course, he has had his fair share of humans. Not particularly his favorite through. A lot of the time it wasn’t on purpose. His demon form is big and sometimes more than just fish and other demons get swallowed up. Course when that happened, they weren’t exactly fresh either. Bleh-just thinking about it makes his stomach turn. 

No, he never got a taste for it, even when it was served in the royal palace. The memories of the sea are still pretty vivid. It never really crosses his mind anymore. Till you bring it up.

He invites you over for a game night. A new VR game he had been saving up for just dropped and he had to play it with you.

It was a horror stealth game. Heavy on critical thinking and solving puzzles in real-time.

Your two characters were on a race against time against a flesh eating cult that had invaded a small village. He thought it was a fun concept and you both liked horror games. He didn’t notice how quiet you had gotten until you had set your controller down. 

You ask during a loading screen after a pretty graphic cut scene of a npc getting caught. How realistic was that cut scene? Had he ever eaten a human before?

Boy is a brighter pink than Ruri-chan’s signature outfit (and twice as cute lbr) 

He gets so flustered that he misses the start of the next round and gets you both eaten. 

He doesn’t take conflict well. Like at all. He much rather slink off into his fish tank and hide than answer you. In fact, that sounds like an excellent idea.  

He slithers back out of his tank hours later thinking you had left or found a better brother to hang out with. Yucky people eaters like him aren’t good company for humans. 

You jump him the minute his feet are back on solid ground. Have an answer now you must! Yrssss. 

Mini Fic

“L-Let go!” Levi shrieks, caught in your sneak attack. He locks up when you jump him, all four of your limbs wrapping around his soaking body like an octopus. 

“No!” You squeeze him harder taking full advantage of the fact that he won’t remove you himself. You feel the heat of his blush through his soaked clothes as you cling closer. If he could blush any harder you were pretty sure steam would be wafting off of him. 

“Why do you want to know anyway?” He wiggles gently, trying to loosen your tight grip. 

“Morbid curiosity.” Well, at least you were honest. He was still going to say no, you didn’t need to know that about him. He opens his mouth to shut you down but makes the mistake of looking at you. The words die when he catches the pout growing on your face. Oh no- his one weakness. Your way your lower lip pops out adorably, accompanied by slightly puffed-out cheeks. It was a one-two punch to his defenses. 

“I-they weren’t on purpose.” He pleads. Nevermore in his life did he wish he could turn into a mist-like his brother. He feels you slip off of him. Your bare feet don’t make a sound on his carpeted floor. “It just happened sometimes.” He admits. You accept it for a few seconds before his words fully hit you.

“Wait? How do you accidentally eat someone?” You ask incredulously. “All though- that’s something Beel might do.” You ponder the logistics and step back to give him some space.

He rights himself, wicking the moisture from his coat and pants with magic until he is completely dry again. You start asking a dozen more questions in rapid fire. It was enough to make his head spin. You were too curious for your own good. “Ever heard of basking whales?”  

You blink. 

Levi sighs and waves a hand to himself.  “When I lived in the ocean… I’m big ya know. I kinda would just open my mouth and swallow. Whatever I caught I ate.” He waits for you to get the jest. Most of the time it was smaller fish and aquatic mammals. When a demon encroached on his territory he would eat them too. The dead were meant for his army, but sometimes they got sucked into.

Instead of nodding in understatement, you cover your mouth with the palm of your hand and snort. His eyes grow big and his blush turns brighter. You were spending way too much time with Asmo. “No-Not like that!” His flailing only makes you laugh harder. Great, as if he didn’t want to die of embarrassment already.

“Well word it better, nerd.” You laugh retreating back to the mound of pillows you claimed for gaming, VR headset in hand. “Come on, we have to start over now- thanks to someone.”

“You started it!” Levi shoots back grabbing up his gear as well. He fiddles with it for a moment before glancing back at you. You were oblivious to inner turmoil over this admission. A naval admiral was one thing. Humans had them too, that wasn’t too much for you to comprehend. Being a devil was easy enough to understand too, at least in his mind. But eating people? Shouldn’t you be more concerned? “So-that’s it?”

You look up questioningly. “What’s it?” 

He raises a purple brow. “You have nothing else to say? I just admitted to eating people!” 

“Not really.” You shrug. “I can’t get too pressed about it. It’s not like you are human. I’m like what-at the bottom of the food chain to you, right?” Levi nods. “See! So no point stressing over it. ‘Sides, you haven’t munched on me yet.” You turn your attention back to the screen, flicking your controller to wake his flat-screen back up. “Unless~” He gulps at the sly eyebrow wiggle you throw at him, the shit eating grin that accompanied it only made him worry.  “Perhaps you just have an appetite for seamen.” 

Your peals of laughter mix with his shrill yelps of objection, as he tackles you. His previous worries were completely forgotten by your teasing. 

#obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan

[t0wnspersonb]

Panic On The Brain (Kuroo, Akaashi, Oikawa)

humancasket

said:

idk if requests are open but can i request kuroo, akaashi, oikawa trying to calm down their s/o who has a panic attack?

Word Count: 1,929

Warnings: depression, fighting, panic attacks, claustrophobia, my bad writing lol, FLUFF

~~~~

Slowly but surely I’m working on the requests in my inbox lol. Am I completely caught up in school? Ehhh. For the most part. I hope you guys like this one, I had a lot of fun writing it. Obviously there is no one way that people have panic attacks, I hope I was able to write this well enough for you @humancasket​! Another big thing for me is that if any of you are going through a rough patch right now I’m always here for you guys, if you need to talk/vent I’m here! Do not hesitate to reach to me if you need a friend! I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend, be safe and be kind😘😘😘

~~~~

~~~~

Kuroo Tetsurou

 It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Kuroo’s stomach twisted unpleasantly, his heart stuck in his throat at the sight before him.

 It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

 The fight you two had gotten in wasn’t supposed to escalate the way it did.

 He couldn’t even remember why you guys were fighting in the first place. 

 But all he knew was that he had fucked up. You stood before him, struggling to catch your breath, one of your hands clutching at the front of your shirt while fat tears rolled down your cheeks; ragged breathing and sobs escaping your parted lips.

 He reached for you immediately, yanking you into his strong chest, arms wrapped tightly around your trembling body. Both of you sinking to the floor of his bedroom.

 He hushes you tenderly, a large hand rubbing up and down your arm, the other tangled carefully in your hair, keeping you pressed against his chest.

 “Breathe, Y/n. I got you. Breathe.” He whispered against your hair, pressing his lips tenderly against the top of your head. He started rocking you in his arms carefully as you took in a shuddering breath, a choked sob escaped your lips.

 “I - I can’t. I can’t breathe.” You sobbed; trembling fingers gripped the front of his shirt tightly. 

 The tightness in your chest was unbearable; it added to the hysteria that was already overtaking your body. 

 “You can. It’s alright. I’m right here. Breathe with me baby,” he murmured softly, and then began taking deep breaths in. You could feel his body moving with each inhale and exhale. 

 It was rhythmic, soothing almost; so, you attempted to match his breathing.

 It felt like an eternity until you were able to get your breathing under control, the tightness in your chest slowly disappearing until all that was left was pure exhaustion.

 Kuroo continued to coo sweet nothings against your hair, his lips brushing softly against your sweat dampened hair, strands sticking against your forehead.

 The hand that was rubbing your arm had migrated to your back, strong fingers stroking delicate patterns.

 You melted against him; all the energy zapped from your body.

 You nuzzled your nose into his chest, inhaling that familiar scent that soothed you to your core.

 “I’m so sorry.” Kuroo whispered after a moment of comfortable silence. He gently grabbed your shoulders, pushing you away slightly to gaze at your face.

 His eyes held nothing but remorse and love, a delicate frown coating his lips, a slight crease between his brows.

 His large hands cupped your face tenderly. Thumbs carefully stroking your cheeks, wiping at the tear stains still lingering.

 Your eyes fluttered shut at his touch, so warm and so safe.

 “I don’t ever…” he exhaled sharply. “I don’t ever want to be the cause of your panic attacks ever again… I’m so so sorry, baby. I don’t even remember why we were fighting in the first place.”

 Your small hand rested on top of his. “I guess you need more docosahexaeonic acid in your diet.” You teased softly.

 His lips twitched into a gentle smile at your words, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, guilt still swimming in his dark orbs.

 “Tetsu… it’s okay. I’m okay.” You whispered, gently touching his face.

 He sighed once more, moving his head slightly so that he could kiss the palm of your hand.

 “It’s not. But… I’ll make sure to make it up to you.” He looked at you tenderly.

 Your heart warmed at his honest words, and you couldn’t help but to curl up against his chest once more.

 “Fish does sound good for dinner though…”

~~~~ Akaashi Keiji

 You glanced around nervously, your teeth biting into your lip. The palm of your hands were incredibly sweaty at this point, your heart felt like it was about to come up through your throat. 

You hated crowds; you never did well in them. 

 So, the fact that you were attending a volleyball game - well - it just showed how much you liked Akaashi Keiji. 

 Of course, it would be crowded, Fukurodani was a powerhouse school after all. But… you didn’t think it was going to be this crowded.

 This was… this was a mistake.

 You had thought that you would wait for him, congratulate him on the win, maybe go get dinner, and then walk home together.

 You hadn’t… you hadn’t planned on this happening.

 Your breathing was coming out in stunted pants, your hands beginning to shake as a fog began to cloud your mind.

 Did people notice?

 They were staring at you, weren’t they?

 You could feel tears beginning to pool in your eyes as you blinked rapidly. 

 There were too many people, you couldn’t… how were you supposed to - a warm hand grabbed your wrist, and you met the gaze of gunmetal blue eyes. 

 You blinked tearfully at Akaashi, lips parting softly, but before you could say anything he was tugging you away from the large crowd of people, easily finding the room he was looking for, and pulling you in.

 The locker room.

 You gasped loudly, your shaking form crumbling to the floor, you felt dizzy, like you couldn’t pull enough air into your lungs.

 Something warm and soft wrapped around your shoulders, you looked up to see Akaashi kneeling beside you, wrapping you up in his jacket, concern clear on his beautiful face.

 “It’s okay.” he murmured; long elegant fingers gently brushed away the tears rolling down your cheeks before he cupped your face softly.

 “I-I’m sorry Akaashi-san.” you whimpered out.

 He shook his head, “You don’t have to apologize, just breathe, it’s okay. I’m right here.” 

 You gasped softly, reaching out and grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him in close. His fingers tangled into your hair, pressing you closer to his body. 

 The sweetness of his scent engulfed you completely, the heat of his body felt wonderful, driving away the coldness that was beginning to seep into your bones.

 Eventually your body stopped trembling, your breathing beginning to turn back normal. 

 After a moment you pulled away, roughly wiping at your damp cheeks, you turned away from him, face burning in embarrassment. You never wanted Akaashi to see you like this.

 “Don’t do that…” he said gently, grabbing your face, forcing you to gaze at him. “Don’t hide yourself from me.”

 His eyes held nothing but warmth as they stared into your own before flickering down towards your lips.

 Your eyes fluttered shut as he began leaning in closer to you, his warmth breath hitting your lips, his hand resting gently on the back of your neck. 

 Closer, closer, and -

 “Hey, hey, hey! Akaashi, you sly dog!” a familiar loud voice bursted through the locker room.

 A soft squeak escaped your lips as you buried your face into Akaashi’s shoulder. You trembled softly against him, more embarrassed than panicked.

 “Bokuto-san you don’t need to rush through the door like that.” Akaashi scolded quietly, his grip on you tightening when he felt your delicate trembles.

 You already had one panic attack; you didn’t need another one caused by Bokuto.

 “Right, right… I’ll leave you two love birds alone.” he cackled closing the door loudly behind him.

 It was silent for a moment before the both of you started laughing softly. Volleyball games weren’t so bad. 

 ~~~~

 Oikawa Tooru

 There were days where you couldn’t muster up the strength to get out of the house, much less leave your bed. 

 You just were so tired, so… so… anxious to leave the comfort of your own space. You’d rather just be left alone. 

 Except your boyfriend wouldn’t let that happen.

 Oikawa Tooru was persistent, you’d give him that. But it wasn’t him just being persistent, it was him being completely and madly in love with you.

 Which was why you were incredibly thankful in this moment.

 You had enough strength to haul yourself out of bed and into the kitchen to cook a meal, only for it to end up on the floor, completely ruined, unable to salvage.

 You could feel your body shaking, a choked sob escaped your lips as you fell to the ground, completely defeated.

 You just wanted one thing to go right for once, but it felt like the entire world was against you recently, this accident being the complete cherry on top. 

 The complete distress that you were under consumed your entire being to the point that you hadn’t heard the front door open.

 You hadn’t heard the gentle call of your name, or the rapid footsteps that halted as they came upon the scene in the kitchen.

 You didn’t even register the strong hands that grabbed your face tenderly, that wiped away the tears that were streaming down your face. You could vaguely feel yourself being lifted up, cradled tight against a strong chest.

 It felt like you were just… there. Empty, although you could feel your heart racing in your chest, the familiar tingling sensation in your hands was familiar, kept you somewhat grounded as you disassociated from the world.

 But then…. there was another reason that kept you grounded, warm brown eyes peering down at you with concern and love. Gentle hands, despite the rough calluses, ghosted over your skin, removing your clothes and then settling you down into warm water.

 When had Oikawa drawn a bath for you?

 The familiar scent of lavender washed over you, causing your eyes to flutter shut. You could feel your body melting further into the tub when strong fingers began running your shampoo through your hair.

 The familiar scents in the bathroom caused your heart to be at peace, you felt safe, comfortable. The sweet touches, the gentle words of encouragement from the man that was taking care of you finally brought you back to reality.

 The tingling sensation in your hands faded away, and now all you could feel is the silkiness of the water.

 When you had finally mustered up the strength to open up your eyes you found yourself sitting on your unmade bed, dressed in warm pajamas, and Oikawa running your brush through your damp hair.

 You could feel tears prickle at your eyes, not because you were about to have another breakdown, but because your entire being was brimming with love… and guilt.

 “Tooru.” you whispered quietly, looking up at him with sadden eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

 A soft frown covered his gorgeous face, those warm brown eyes held confusion and a slight bit of sadness.

 “For what?” he asked quietly, setting down the brush and pulling you into a comfortable embrace.

 “You shouldn’t have to take care of me like this. I’m a mess, you should just leave me while you still have the chance.” you cried quietly, grabbing at his shirt tightly. Despite the words that escaped your lips, what you wanted was the exact opposite. 

 A soft sigh escaped his lips and he pulled you away from him gently, fingers coming up to gently flick at your forehead. 

 “I’ve already told you this Y/n-chan. I’m not going anywhere, you can push me away all you want, but that’s just going to make my love for you stronger. I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to take care of you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” His gaze was passionate now, full of love and devotion. 

 Oikawa Tooru was persistent, that was one thing that was sure. The other was that you were both madly in love with each other, that one was definitely for sure. 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu fanfics #haikyuu fluff #Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x you #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo fluff #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji x you #akaashi fluff #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa fluff #fluff #haikyuu imagines #kuroo imagine #akaashi imagine #oikawa imagine #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo headcanons #akaashi headcanons #oikawa headcanons #request

[foilfreak]

Beauty and Her Beast: Chapter 5

WARNING PLZ READ BEFORE CONTINUING: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(AO3 Link below)

This was a bad idea... no, actually, scratch that. This wasn’t just a bad idea...

‘THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA’ Salvatore thought to himself, as he frantically hid beneath a large blue tarp covering a couple of old, rotting shipping crates, his body trembling uncontrollably and his shoulders heaving from the terrified and panicked state Salvatore had managed to work himself into.

Now, for those of you who may be wondering why Salvatore was currently hiding behind a bunch of crates like prey hiding from the hunter, despite being in the safety of his own reservoir-

“Hello?”

-that would be why.

Yes, the 2 days that Salvatore had been given to prepare for his gift’s arrival had come and gone faster than the disfigured man could have ever imagined. And while he’d done a marvelous job of cleaning up the reservoir to make it suitable for the beautiful young lady who’d now be calling this place ‘home’, what he hadn’t anticipated having to deal with was the full blown panic attack he got the second the villagers arrived to release her into his custody. Thankfully, his anxiety grew more manageable when one of the villagers explained that, due to Nadine’s tendency toward violent behavior, combined with her superhuman strength, Mother Miranda had gone ahead and given the young woman a nice heavy dose of sedative to keep her asleep throughout the journey to the reservoir, as well as for a couple of hours afterwards, too.

You know… just in case.

After the villagers finally left, Salvatore closed and locked the gate behind them before turning his attention to the large wooden coffin that, according to the men who’d carried it here, contained his long awaited gift from Mother Miranda.

Taking a few tentative steps forward, Salvatore takes the metal key the villagers had given him and slowly, but eagerly, unlocked and opened the wooden vessel, gasping in shock and awe as the sight of Nadine’s perfectly angelic face finally came into the light. He wasn’t sure how this was possible, but somehow the young woman looked even more perfect than the first time he saw her, the soft glow of the early morning sun reflecting off her blue scaly skin in a way that gives her a gorgeous, almost iridescent shine.

The continued nudeness of Nadine’s body, while mesmerizing to look at, did unfortunately make the act of keeping his hands to himself rather difficult, and Salvatore quickly found himself grappling with his inner demons as he contemplated reaching in and taking a quick feel, just a quick one, if only for the sake of finally figuring out what on earth her skin was made out of.

Was it smooth and silky to allow for rapid aquatic maneuverability, like that of an eel, or did her soft, feminine exterior hide a rougher, more textured sort of skin, like that of a shark or a whale?

Oh how Salvatore longed, with every fiber of his disgusting, twisted being, to reach inside that wooden carrier and run his hands over the mutant woman’s perfect little body, every atom in him aching to touch, hold, kiss, lick, bite, and devour every square millimeter of this gorgeous specimen, blurring and melting the lines of reality that once separated them until you couldn’t tell where beast ended and where beauty began.

But he refrained.

As much as Salvatore desperately wanted to give in to the primal desires of his still-human mind and mostly-human body, he instead decided to give the young woman some time to wake up first, guessing that she probably wouldn’t want some random stranger, much less one that looks like him, touching her without her permission. So with a deep breath, and a strong swallowing of his raging libido, Salvatore stepped away from the crate Nadine was sleeping in, pocketing the key in case Mother wanted it back later, before turning around and beginning to hobble back toward the lake to complete the few minor tasks he hadn’t managed to get to before the villagers arrived earlier.

It would be well into the afternoon, nearly evening by this point, before Salvatore heard so much as a peep from Nadine. Mother Miranda must not have been kidding when she said she’d given the young woman enough sedative to knock her out for hours. If it weren’t for the fact that she was still breathing, Salvatore might have thought her dead after this amount of time.

Unfortunately for Salvatore, it would appear as though Nadine taking ages to awaken from her drug induced slumber would be the least of the deformed man’s concerns, quickly overrun and forgotten about in the blind panic Salvatore went into once the young woman’s voice, soft and slightly high pitched, though a bit scratchy from lack of use, calls out from, presumably, the spot where Salvatore had left her by the front gate.

The heavenly tone bounces and echoes off the wood and water of the surrounding area, filling the reservoir with a song-like magic that made Salvatore’s knees buckle weakly in reverence, and his stomach want to turn itself inside out from complete and utter terror. Hit with the sudden realization that Salvatore was going to have to actually look at AND speak to Nadine now that she’d awoken, and at the same time no less, immediately sends the mutant man tumbling into a full blown panic, resulting in Salvatore locating the nearest solid structure, the tarp and crates in this case, and throwing himself underneath it, hoping and praying that if he remained quiet for long enough, Nadine would lose interest and go somewhere else-

“Hello? Is anyone here?”

-Unfortunately Salvatore wasn’t a man who had his hopes and prayers answered terribly often, and today seemed to be no different than usual.

Despite being given extra security due to the rapid approach of nightfall, Salvatore didn’t even dare breathe as the sound of footsteps passed by his hiding spot, his heart pounding uncontrollably in his chest as Nadine came within just inches of finding him. This is it, the jig is up, there was absolutely no doubt in Salvatore’s mind that Nadine was mere seconds away from pulling the tarp back to reveal his horrible and disgusting self, scrunched up into the tightest little ball between the narrow spaces of the crates.

Closing his teary eyes and accepting his fate, Salvatore merely sat and waited for the inevitable moment of shocked silence after the tarp had been lifted, followed by the sound of Nadine’s smooth and rich voice bursting his eardrums with a piercingly shrill and terrified shriek, as well the heavy booming of feet against wood as she ran away from him, disgusted, horrified, and appalled by so much as having to look at the monster that Salvatore was, much less do anything else.

“Ah man, I could have sworn I saw someone around here, earlier,” the low but feminine voice of Nadine said aloud, sounding quite dejected as she leaned against the blue tarp covering Salvatore’s hiding spot.

“Maybe they just went out to look for food, and will be back later?” Nadine says to herself, sounding more optimistic than before, though her hopefulness fades as quickly as it arrived when she continues with, “Then again… maybe the poor bastard caught a glimpse of me as I stumbled around and took off in terror at the sight of me. I suppose I can't really blame him… not with the way I look now, at least.”

Nadine pauses, trailing off for a moment as Salvatore remains rooted in his spot, hands clamped firmly over his mouth and nose to prevent any noise from escaping, despite the increasing burning sensation from his human lungs, which, despite their somewhat shaky ability to do their prescribed role ever since the cadou mutations screwed him up, still very much needed air going in and out of them if Salvatore wanted them to continue functioning at all.

The young woman remained in that spot leaning against the tarp-covered crates for a few more moments, not saying or doing anything as far as Salvatore could tell, before the sound of shuffling and more footsteps, softer and less hurried than the ones he’d heard earlier, caught his attention.

Silence persists for another moment, causing Salvatore to grow curious the longer he waits. And so, despite his earlier reservations, Salvatore can’t help but shift his position slightly so that he could peek through a narrow space between the wall of crates, just enough to give him a solid view of Nadine, who currently stood with her back to him just a few feet away from where the mutated man was hiding. Her gaze seemed transfixed on the lake’s surface, or perhaps it was less the water that held her gaze, but the reflection staring back at her from the mirror-like surface.

Even without seeing her face, Salvatore could tell that the young woman was afraid and in pain, and his heart wrenched agonizingly as he watched her beautiful form shrink in on itself. Her arms curled around her body defensively, as if trying to hide herself shamefully from any potential onlookers, while her torso slumped limply forward, shoulders shaking heavily as she sobbed quietly to herself in the ever growing darkness of evening time.

“Whatever, it’s not like it matters anyways,” the young woman sobs dejectedly after a while, pointlessly rubbing the tears from her face away, only for them to be quickly replaced as new ones fell. “Even if somebody did actually live here, it’s not like anyone would even want to help a disgusting abomination like me... much less have anything else to do with me.”

The sound of Nadine jumping off the dock and into the cold lake water below pales in comparison to the sound of Salvatore’s whole world turning itself upside down from beneath the large blue tarp under which he was hidden.

Disgusting abomination?

Nadine?

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

Of all the things Salvatore has ever heard in his entire life, this one has to be the most ridiculous thing by far.

Salvatore was a disgusting abomination, that much he was more than aware of and had long since accepted, as painful as it still was to admit from time to time. But Nadine… Why Nadine was quite easily the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on, save for perhaps Mother Miranda herself maybe, which was certainly a very high standard to be compared to in Salvatore’s book. While the young woman did indeed have several mutations that would make going back to her previous life almost impossible, that didn’t mean she was disgusting, or an abomination.

Not to Salvatore she wasn’t, at least.

The fact that the poor young woman thought this of herself sent a sharp, stabbing pain directly into his heart, practically tearing him apart from the inside out as he frantically thought of something, anything he could do to make the tiny woman feel better.

Thinking back to when he’d watched her just moments ago, he remembers the way in which her arms and hands curled around herself as she sobbed, looking like they were attempting to cover as much exposed skin as physically possible. How Nadine could call herself an abomination when she looked like the picture perfect definition of beauty, Salvatore didn’t know, but what he did know was that women, at least the women he was used to, always enjoyed receiving pretty things with which they could cover and decorate themselves, like dresses and jewelry.

And luckily for Salvatore, he just so happens to know of a few places where he might be able to acquire both of those things.

With a quick peek from beneath the tarp before taking off, Salvatore quickly makes his way toward the exit gate, barely managing to close the gate behind him and pull his cloak over himself before sprinting, as much as his mangled body would allow anyways, down the snowy path that would lead him to the estates of the only two people Salvatore can think of to help him in this messy situation.

Hopefully Alcina and Donna won’t be terribly upset with him for stopping by unannounced.

#Salvatore moreau #resident evil #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #resident evil 8 village #resident evil 8: village #Karl Heisenberg #donna beneviento #angie beneviento #alcina dimitrescu #mother miranda #bella dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #fic #salvatore moreau x reader #Moreau x reader #Salvatore moreau x oc #Moreau x oc #Beauty and her beast #chapter 5 #re8

[radiantmists]

more pjo/rqg crossover thoughts

so i can’t turn my brain off once it’s started and i realized thinking more about this that rqg has a very good mechanic for true crossovers in that it contains several characters getting yote by a planar shift, which... they could end up anywhere!

(fair warning: i havent read the apollo books, and ive only read the last couple seven-demigods books once, so i’m mostly basing this on the first PJO series bc i remember them)

so: sasha and grizzop emerge in the PJO universe, probably still in nero’s palace, which in our world has sunk into a hillside and from what i can tell is a) partially tourable, b) an active excavation site. and c) partially unsafe, which as far as I can  tell translates to it being infested with monsters in the PJO world. plus its in rome so like. very dangerous. 

this means they get into a fight fairly immediately, at which point a few issues rear their head:

the mist affects sasha. she’s probably more resistant to it than the average mortal, and can see things when theyre pointed out to her with enough insistence, but it is absolutely interfering with her perceptions.

the (ambient) mist does not affect grizzop. they dont realize this right away, but it’s because he pings it as a monster. 

sasha isn’t quite sure why he starts firing on the lost-looking people wandering around this weird buried palace; grizzop feels like at this point sasha ought to know a zombie when she sees one. she gets with the program when they start attacking and don’t go down with a stab to the kidneys, though.

one thing grizzop does realize fairly quickly, to some only marginally well-managed panic: artemis is weird here. probably he thinks at first that this is what azu and ed were talking about: he can feel something when he prays, she’s not gone and after a hot second of delay she does bless his aim, but he can’t channel positive energy to just blast the zombies, and his armor isn’t glowing. there’s something wrong. 

but they win the fight, barely; sasha’s not in good shape, and grizzop can’t heal her, which is becoming a pattern and he doesn’t care for this shit at all. 

they find their way out of the palace, and start to notice that (nearly) all of the people around are humans, but they don’t dwell on it, partly because theyre also in the future and partly because no one seems to be remarking at grizzop, which means there must be other goblins around and just not that many here right now. grizzop is especially willing to accept this because he sees a (fairly small) number of monsters around.

theyre much more concerned about the fact that theyre very much not in kansas anymore. theyre looking for a place to buy healing potions, at  which point some kind stranger approaches sasha and asks if she wants an ambulance/directions to a hospital. she reluctantly accepts directions; the aphrodite and artemis temple hospitals weren’t bad, but this is rome and she’s concerned. but it also becomes  clear that this person thinks that grizzop is her child. they’re mildly alarmed when he gets upset and cusses them out about this, but... clearly these tourists are going through it. is sasha sure she doesn’t want an ambulance? it’s a ways to walk, especially with a toddler to manage... (she’s sure)

there’s no magical healing at the hospital; sasha tells grizzop that magic just doesn’t seem to work in rome, but he points that the sun works wherever  they are, and most of it doesn’t seem that monster-infested, so... unclear.

they sneak out of the emergency room before sasha has to give any personal information, and wander around rome for at least a day, trying to figure out what’s going on. grizzop prays a lot, and he has a dream akin to percy’s more symbological ones: he encounters a beautiful doe that he knows is artemis in an unfamiliar forest, but she’s standoffish. he asks what he’s done wrong, but she doesn’t answer; she leads him to some wild place outside rome-- probably Lake Nemi, close to a temple of Diana-- where Grizzop sees some hunters from a distance, and then the dream ends.

so the next day grizzop drags them out there-- maybe someone points them there, it seems to be a tourist attraction of sorts and i just remembered that grizzop has pretty shit survival skills. and they go off into the woods and get a bit lost, and then theyre found by the hunters.

it turns out artemis has sent thalia a dream to come there, but was... light on information, so the hunters aren’t sure what to expect. i think probably sasha and grizzop are arguing when the hunters find them, and they see this situation and think: likely recruit is being harassed by monster, except when they go to ‘help,’ sasha takes grizzop’s side. 

i’m not sure how this would go on, or even when exactly pjo canon it would be set, but it would involve a lot of the hunters (and maybe artemis) wanting to recruit sasha, her being uncomfortable with this, but not wanting to leave grizzop. grizzop, meanwhile, is absolutely fascinated with this group of women who actually get to hunt with the goddess, and have immortality until they find something worth giving their life for, and yet they’re all suspicious of him-- which he’s used to from humans, but he’s rarely met something he wanted this much and being rejected hurts. artemis herself is probably a bit thrown at being worshipped again, because the hunters and demigods certainly revere her but i feel like it doesn’t have the same flavor of faith that grizzop would have? 

they also want to get back; maybe trying to figure out how to do this takes them to camp half-blood and the oracle, where they meet the core pjo cast? idk if they’d be able to get back, though, i can’t think of a mechanic for it in the pjo universe? much to think about...

#pjo #rqg

[6ad6ro]

it doesn't matter what i do or how i live, because the majority of people are gonna think the worst of me. people who are flawed. people who don't think for themselves and live robotically. they'll ignore the effort i put out. they'll dismiss my struggles. they'll pretend my DOCUMENTED health issues are all in my head. the ones i literally get treatment for constantly? they'll keep calling them fake.

i'm just "an immature, lazy manchild still living with my mom". i guess that ignores the fact that i'm here to take care of her when the rest of the family (understandably) gave up on her. they weren't here when i tried to leave countless times and she begged me to stay. they don't feel the guilt and obligation that was left behind when my father died. they don't get that i'm not being "selfless"... it's just... she's my mom and i worry about her.

instead they think of me as "kinda pathetic". instead they say that I'M leeching off of HER. why? why do they decide to think this way? why do they choose to ignore what's really going on, instead imagining some story that makes me look bad somehow?

honestly, even if someone DID live with a parent bc they couldn't get by on their own... that isn't pathetic. ppl who judge for things like that are embarrassing scum. fucking mannequins who think in stereotypes. who live just to make money. great. enjoy your failing western capitalist mindset. suffer in your hypocritical judgement.

speaking of money... i can't believe how ppl will look at me? with how i've ALWAYS gotten by. ALWAYS been there helpin out my friends and family. and say that I'M irresponsible with it. i may be on disability now, but that was probably the smartest financial move i've ever made. some ppl even get JEALOUS. bc i do alright. and don't have to work shitty jobs anymore.

of course, they ignore that i worked since my late teens (woulda worked earlier but parents were too controlling). of course they ignore that my health stuff made regular work a total NIGHTMARE. and that i was slowly killing myself. or driving myself to suicide. getting worse and worse mentally/physically. they think i somehow tricked my way into bein disabled, rather than being drug into it kicking and screaming. they pretend that my "work life" isn't 10,000x better than theirs, and justify it by belittling me. idk if it's jealousy, classist brainwashing, or both. bc i'm SICK of it.

i'm tired of being judged. looked down upon. these people, they ignore my ACTUAL STRUGGLES. like my health issues and sleep problems and mental stuff? my HORRIBLE abusive past? my current REAL problems? and instead just make derogatory stuff up. they'll say "i can't believe you're still like this in your mid 30s" as if things should be somehow better?? as if i'm just doing poorly? "if you just apply yourself better, you won't have panic attacks anymore" like FUCK you.

i feel this judgement from all these... frankly EMBARRASSING people? people who shouldn't be judging ANYONE? and it's just like FUCK you. fuck you! i'm tired of it.

i'm laying here in my bed. trying to sleep the past few days away. because i wanna die. bc i feel embarrassed and ashamed. because i wanna give up. i think "maybe they're right"...

and i wonder why this happens. why do i have such low self-esteem? why do i feel so hopeless? idk MAYBE because some of the closest people in my life NURTURE my shame. they fucking TELL me "you're pathetic" to my fucking face. they disrespect me constantly. i do my best to show them love and help them when i can. in return? they treat me as if i'm far below them.

a big reason i hate myself is i was TAUGHT to feel this way by shitty friends and family. i'm tired of it. i'm sick of forgiving and overlooking other's mistreatment of me. i'm tired of justifying it by saying "well they're just in pain". I'M in pain. because you keep treating me like shit! why should i respect your trauma when you erase mine just to make urself feel better. why do you drag others down to try n make yourself feel better? it just makes everyone WORSE and it's YOUR fault!

i'm done! i'm done. disrespect me, and you lose me. MOST of you on here are amazing. but a FEW of you, people i'm close to? know i'm talking about you. and FUCK you. i was great, and you lost me.

YOUR loss. god you guys sucked, and i was there for you anyhow. i was SO NICE to you! but i'm done. go abuse someone else. the only thing "pathetic" about me? was you.

i've removed the ball and chain that was locked around my ankle. what are you gonna do about it? just sit there, useless. discarded. you can only blame yourself.

#vent #long #might #delete

[hotchley]

(Teen Hotch and Haley prompt)

She knows better than to startle him. Haley knows what that monster does to Aaron, she has patched him up too many times to count. But she figures a hug would be okay, so she comes up behind hotch (Idk what the setting for this would be) and Haley wraps her arms around him and he lurches forward flinching and starts to have a mini panic attack despite her gentleness.

Basically Haley starles Hotch and he has a panic attack and she calms him down. (Feel free to change or alter some of the prompt a little bit) like maybe one of Haley’s friends “play” punches him and he freaks out. Either way Haley comforts him.

seven 

(because that was the song that I listened to the most whilst writing this)

tw: child abuse, panic attacks

Haley Brooks loved Thursdays'. In fact, if she had to choose, she would say that Thursday was her favourite day of the week. Nobody would ever ask her that, but it was. She knew it was strange to pick such a random day, but it was the one day of the week where she felt like she could relax and enjoy herself.

The theatre club met on a Thursday. She loved theatre. It was fun. And it was the one thing Jessica had never done either, so it was entirely hers. No comparisons. No competition. Just her, her friends, and a musical that she already knew she would hate after the final show.

And of course, Aaron Hotchner. Haley loved Aaron. She knew that already. People may have said that it was ridiculous for her- a seventeen year old- to say that she loved someone like that, but what they didn't understand was that this was Aaron.

He was different. There were a million different parts to him, and she seemed to be the only one that ever got to see them all. 

She saw him stumbling through dances, but trying his best and she saw him flustered when people complimented him. She saw him smile- a real, genuine smile- whenever he realised she was staring. She saw him when he was debating, real passion on his face.

She also saw him when he was terrified that his father would find him hiding in her room and take his anger out on her. She saw him when he was so angry with the world that it terrified him because what if he turned out exactly like his father, he couldn't do that and he needed to leave before he damaged her just like everyone else.

It was painful to watch him wince as someone touched his shoulder. It took every ounce of her self-control to not march down to the police station and demand that they arrest Mr Hotchner because he was an evil, evil man that should never have been allowed to have children.

But she couldn't do that. They wouldn't believe her. Aaron had begged her to not say anything. He had tried once. His father had broken his arm and he had ended up in the hospital because he wasn't allowed a hospital.

So she kept his secret. And the window to her room opened all through the evening, even in the winter.

That was the other reason she liked Thursdays'. Mr Hotchner worked late. By the time he came home, Aaron was already hidden away in his room, away from angry fists and alcohol-scented breath. On every other day, there was a chance he would be climbing through her window, blood staining his shirt and tears drying on his cheeks.

Nobody had ever wiped his tears away. The first time she did, he flinched away from her touch. She had thought it was her. Then he apologised, and her heart had ached for him. He spent more time in her house than his own, without anyone knowing, of course. It was stupid, and impossible, but the words were always on the tip of her tongue.

She thought he should live with her. It would be impossible until they both graduated, but she knew her parents would get over themselves eventually. His dad was always angry, even when there was nothing wrong, and it was unfair.

It was unfair that Aaron had to suffer, and it was unfair that nobody was willing to do anything, and it was unfair that his childhood had been torn from him, leaving him a broken shell of the person he could have been. It was unfair that all she could do was clean up the blood and make sure he ate enough.

She liked Thursdays' because she knew Aaron would eat enough. That he would sleep through the night. 

She knew Aaron was not the violent and aggressive man that the teachers treated him as, nor was he the trouble-maker Jessica and her parents believed him to be. He wasn't the strange and weird kid that the rest of the cheerleading squad liked to tease him for being. Aaron was soft and sweet, always sticking up for the younger years and he was smart and funny.

That was why she was so happy that he did theatre with her now. It was one of the few moments where other people could see the version of him that she knew existed and loved with all her heart.

He was talking to one of her friends' about the choreography they were learning. His back was facing her, but she could tell from his hand gestures and generally relaxed stance that he was enjoying himself. That made her smile. He deserved to enjoy himself, and to have something good in his life.

She slid off the table she'd been sat on and headed over. Aaron seemed far less tense than he had in any of the previous rehearsals, and it was nice. Cute, because it meant he didn't care about his rambling or poor dance skills.

They weren't officially together- they'd only been on one date that had been cut short because Aaron had needed to run home- but she liked to think they were dating. Or at the very least, good friends. Sometimes she wanted to kiss him, if only to convince him that he was worthy of love, but it was never the right moment.

A hug was okay. Friends hugged all the time. And besides, Aaron could always do with hugs, but there were very few people that were allowed to give them to him. His brother didn't count, because most of the time, Aaron was the one hugging him and that was different. His mother hardly touched him now. 

She stepped forward, pressing a finger to her lips when her friend went to say hello. Her friend nodded and turned her attention back to Aaron, who was still rambling about something or other. It sounded like he was talking about Les Miserables, which impressed her.

Haley took one more step forward.

Aaron felt hands wrap around his stomach. His stomach which had bruises forming because his father hadn't even bothered to take his shoes off before taking his anger out on his eldest son. He flinched, but it was too slight for anyone to even notice. Haley pressed her forehead to his shoulder, hugging him tightly.

Her touch was gentle. Her hands were soft. But Aaron did not feel that. He did not feel the love or joy that she did at having him close. He just felt the fear and dread that he always felt when his father came home before he could escape. He felt calloused hands that were harsh and unforgiving.

Before he was aware of what he'd done, he had twisted out of her grip and ran out the room. It was a habit he wasn't even aware of anymore- always standing as close to the door as he could. He had no idea where he was meant to go, only that he needed to get away.

Haley remained frozen in position. She looked down at her hands. Mr Hotchner's hands were much larger than hers. Rougher too. When they touched Aaron, it was to inflict pain and hurt. She knew how that monster touched him. She'd cleaned him up enough times. She should have known better.

But she'd just assumed he would be fine, and now she was here, frozen in position whilst he fled, probably that somebody was going to hurt him.

"Is he okay?" her friend asked.

That shocked her back to reality. "I- give me two minutes okay?"

She ran out the room without even waiting for a response. This had happened once before. It had been terrifying, but they'd gotten through it together, and afterwards Aaron had been so grateful. It made her sick to think that he'd been going through it alone.

Without an ounce of hesitation, she entered the boys' bathroom. Only one door was open. She immediately ran over to it and sat down.

Aaron was struggling to breathe, tears streaming down his cheeks as he rested his head against the wall.

"Aaron," Haley said, fighting to keep her voice steady. This wasn't about her. She needed to be strong for him.

He shook his head. Haley longed to touch him, but they were both still just trying to work out what worked for him. Touch was not one of those things. So she sat opposite him instead, close enough that he could hear her without having to struggle.

"Baby it's me. Haley. We're going to get through this. I need you to listen to me though. Can you do that?" The term of endearment slipped out by accident, but she wasn't about to take it back. Short sentences that were easy to understand were key to helping him through whatever happened to him in these moments.

He nodded, once, slightly hesitant.

"Good. I'm going to breathe in. Can you do that with me?"

Aaron nodded, and she just prayed she was doing this right. She inhaled, slightly relaxing when he did the same. She counted to five and hoped that was the right number, before exhaling. Aaron did the same.

"You're doing so good for me Aar," she assured.

She had no idea how much time passed. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. But eventually, Aaron's breathing returned to normal and he didn't flinch when she held her hand out for him to take. The pressure grounded him.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"You should come and live with me," she blurted out. Immediately, she cringed. Aaron was already so much older than he seemed. Saying that would only make him realise just how immature she was.

He smiled slightly, drawing circles over her knuckle. "Yeah?"

"Mhm. We could do whatever we wanted. Like eat pancakes for dinner, and dance round the kitchen whenever wanted, and watch those rom-coms that you love so much," she said, smiling slightly.

"That'd be nice. Tell me more about this life of ours together."

She could never tell him no. It was halfway through her spiel about the way they would decorate their hallway that she realised exactly why he wanted her to speak. He found her voice soothing and it was helping him.

So she decided to be brave, and she took a chance.

"Aar?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. And I think we should go on a date," she said, all in one breath.

"What?"

"You don't have to say yes. It's just- I'm sat here, planning out what our future home looks like but you don't even know how I feel and I needed you to know that."

"I don't think anyone's ever loved me," he confessed quietly.

"Can I hug you?" she asked, not sure what she was meant. Because saying that wasn't true would be an insult to everything that he had been through. Love hurt sometimes, yes, but not in the way that he was.

He nodded. He still tensed when her arms went to his stomach, but she took her time, making sure he knew it was her, not someone else. When she finally embraced him, he sobbed into her shoulder.

She just ran her hand through his hair. "One day, we're going to get out of here, and it's going to be the best time of our lives."

They did eventually get out of that small town. And they ate pancakes for dinner, danced to ABBA hits in their tiny kitchen that wasn't even made for two people, watched silly rom-coms that never failed to make Aaron tear up, and they decorated their hallway with photos of them and their friends.

#tw child abuse #tw panic attack #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #hotch #haley hotchner #teen!hotch #teen!haley #hotch x haley #hurt aaron hotchner #hotch whump #hotch angst

[prose-for-hire]

Supernatural Activity

Pairing: Rupert Giles x reader

Request: omgggg „dont mess with the cat“ and its the baby monitor“ and giles, maybe? that would be amaaazing

Requested by: Anon

Warning: swearing. 

c/n = cat’s name lol. I didn’t wanna assign a name you can do that! The cat is a boy though (sorry idk why I can change it if u want) 🖤🦇

You and Giles had moved in together. You had taken a while to find the perfect place, especially considering that you lived on top of a Hellmouth. A lot of properties were ridiculously good value because a surprising amount of suspicious deaths happened here. You had offered to move into the house he already lived in, but he insisted that you should have a house you could share that would be yours together.

You finally found one that was perfect, or what you had thought was perfect. 

You had been relaxing one Autumn evening, in front of the fire that Giles had just got going. Your cat was relaxing on your lap as Giles slid into the seat beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You closed your eyes, inhaling his familiar scent that enveloped you with his hug. 

You cosied up in front of the fire, wrapping your arms around his torso. You had more chance to relax around this time of year, Halloween was usually quiet and the younger people you usually helped out were busy going to parties and struggling with their social lives over the supernatural at the moment.

Giles had kissed the top of your head from the position you were in, now resting against his chest. You had been watching the television, or relaxing together with the tv on in the background. Except suddenly you heard this horrible noise. This crackling and popping. It was feedback. From some kind of device. A baby crying. Wailing for someone. 

You squinted around, starting to get freaked out. Something wasn;t right. The room felt cold, despite your body curled up beside Giles with the roaring fire. You looked up at him and he didn’t appear phased. You sat up properly, looking around. Squinting.

“Giles…” You say slowly. Giles had stayed in the same position, looking towards the television feigning boredom but he appeared to be into whatever it was taht was on. You had to take the remote and mute the sound, “Giles can you hear that?”

“Oh, it’s just the baby monitor” Giles muttered after listening a moment, cleaning his glasses and smiling at you as if this were the natural conclusion. You squinted at him, looking around in confusion.

“Giles… we don’t have a baby” You say slowly. This made him jump into action. Of course - you didn’t have a baby! He panicked, walking towards the noise.

You, against your better judgement, went with Giles to look around the house to check where the noise was coming from. C/n weaved between both of your legs, coming too. But he stopped on the landing, hissing and running off in the opposite direction.

It got louder as you walked towards the spare room. You tensed, taking Giles’ sleeve and tugging him back. You were scared, you didn’t want him to get hurt. He nodded reassuringly, sliding his hand into yours and clasping it tight. The door opened slowly, it revealed... nothing.

There was no movement. No noise and definitely no baby.

You exchanged a look, silently agreeing to just leave that room alone from then on. You didn’t speak much for the rest of the evening, still hyperaware of any noises in the house. You went to sleep earlier than usual, clinging to Giles as you tried in vain to get some sleep.

You had managed some brief sleep, however you had a bad feeling which woke you up. Then came a strangled noise and a crash. You ran out of bed, with Giles close behind, in time to see your cat starting to float in mid-air while it thrashed against whatever it was. His tail was bushy and standing on end with his sharp teeth exposed whilst he hissed at the invisible force.

You reached and scooped your cat and pulled him into you, scowling around at the room.

“I’m fucking warning you!” You point at the ceiling as if the spirit were floating there, “Don’t mess with the cat!” You shouted, hugging the little fluff ball closer to your chest to make sure you were protecting him. You had seen movies like this - the pet was usually the first to go. Not on your watch.

“Y/n is it really necessary to use that language?”

“Oh I’m sorry did you want me to invite the poltergeist into the kitchen for a cup of tea!?”

“No, of course not. It just isn’t wise to… rile it up” He said gently, knowing how protective you were of the cat. You had expressed more than once that it felt like a little family, with you, the cat and Giles. Which he had adored when you had revealed this to him. He really did love you. He nodded once in understanding, pressing a kiss against the side of your head. You softened, melting into it a little, before snapping your eyes back open and shouting, “It’s Halloween tomorrow aren’t you meant to have the day off?!” scowling up at the ceiling again.

The movement seemed to disappear. So you eventually padded back to your shared bed, setting your cat at the end of the bed to ensure he was safe. You both slipped back into bed and huddled together as you tried to get some sleep. Your anger dissipating with every soft touch Giles gave you in the safety of your shared bed. 

“We have to do something, sweetheart” You sigh, cuddling up to him. You weren’t fond of being haunted, it appeared.

“Let’s just, see what the spirit wants and see if we can, ah, assist. I will look up some books tomorrow” He muttered, stroking the back of your head softly. You nodded, well aware of his tendency to say a more polite version of what he really wanted to say.

“Can I bring c/n? please?” You whispered into his ear as you began to fall asleep nestled against his side.

The next morning was Halloween, a very busy day for you and Giles in the store you owned together. You usually enjoyed the day, but you were tired this morning and you snapped at Xander too many times so he threatened to walk.

This lead to you having to buy donuts to keep him sweet, which appeared to make him instantly your friend again. You explained yours and Giles’ predicament between the rush of customers and heard their suggestions which, although well-meaning, were entirely unhelpful. Your cat weaved between each customer, giving them a little entertainment whilst they waited in the long queues.

“Maybe you should get a priest?” Willow asked, using what appeared to be an entire roll of tape on a customers gift wrap. You were too busy reading a book on possession to supervise her properly so Anya snatched it from her and started to wrap it correctly.

“Yeah, you wanna go full-Exorcist. It is Halloween, G-man” Xander piped up and you let it slide with a mere eyeroll, seeing as you had snapped at him so much already today and Giles let him off with just a withering look.

You and Giles did a little more researching and decided the best way forwards was a ritual to reveal who you were dealing with and then one to cast out the spirit. You had everything lined up and you even colour coded the ritual into sections for him - you knew he loved it when you did that. 

You decided you should probably do it as soon as possible. You presented your plan to the group after you finally closed up and the tired Scoobies listened. Their faces twisting into panic as they realised it sounded like a group event.

“Do we, uh, all have to be there?” Buffy asked, looking around and trying to silently come up with an excuse with the others. You caught this and winked at her.

“Well, we could use all of the help that we can get” Giles said solemnly, well aware of the horrified faces of the young people around him. He was about to launch into a long speech about duty.

“No. You can go to your Halloween party! Giles, there are some things that have to be dealt with alone, it’s our responsibility. We can do it just fine” You looped your arms around his neck and left a few soft kisses against his slightly parted mouth, in case he was still trying to protest. The Scoobies all took this as their cue to get up and run out of the door before Giles could change his mind. Dawn had taken your cat in the carrier, so that he was safe while you spent your Halloween dealing with whatever it was that had moved into your house (or maybe you had moved into its house?).

You made it home, wincing slightly as you saw the state of your kitchen. All of the cupboards were open. Cutlery was littering the floor. All of them had been paired with another, forming upside down crosses all over the floor. You smelt something and your eyes widened in horror. The gas was on. You ran over to turn  it off and when you looked back around you saw that the teapot was cracked and in pieces in the centre of the wooden dining table. Clearly, the ghost wasn’t a fan of tea. Maybe it was a good job you didn’t offer it any.

You both cleared up, Giles staying quiet as you ranted through the tidying. You slammed the cutlery back in place. Crashing the cupboard doors closed. The teapot which you had really liked had to go straight into the bin.

When you finally finished, collapsing into the chairs in your living room. You felt exhausted. You weren’t sure if you had the energy to do this. You held onto the cross that Buffy had kindly gifted you and Giles earlier in the day.

A loud smash echoed through the house, making Giles jump and scatter your handwritten notes on the rituals you would have to perform all over the

You both rushed to pick them up before any poltergeist saw them and started to attack you before you could begin your plan. You then ran in to see what had happened, the noise having come from the kitchen. But this time, nothing was out of place. In fact, it was eerily clean. Spotless. 

You decided you did have the energy. You wanted this entity gone. You couldn’t even relax in your home for a second anymore. This was further evident when you heard a loud scoff and a thud.

You rushed in, expecting to see Giles wrestling with a ghost, but instead you saw him glaring at the book case in the living room.

“For the love of all that is- will you please cease with the ridiculous organisation of my bookshelves! I cannot find a bloody thing!” He shouted at mid-air. It had been the one thing through all of this that had gotten a reaction.

“Now, now is that language really necessary, sweetie?” You giggle as he turned to face you, his temper still frayed.

“I cannot stand to live beside this-this-!” He looked around, as if he could have seen if the poltergeist was listening in, but obviously wasn’t able to see anything, “The books, y/n! the books!” He started to get worked up until your hand slid lightly up his chest, rubbing soothingly.

“I know, that’s why we’re doing a- doing what we’re doing- on Halloween night” You hinted, not wanting the entity to know what you planned. You kissed him on the cheek and nestled into him, hoping he could feel your love and comfort coursing through him like blood. He appeared to calm as he held you to him, but he was still frowning around him and towards the bookcase.

It was finally time. It was almost midnight and you started to paint the pentagram on one of the small, circular hardwood tables as Giles shook his head and muttered under his breath. He had given his blessing to use one of the tables he had brought with him into your home from England, but it didn’t mean he was pleased about it. You both set up, places crystals on each point of the pentagram. You also lit candles and brushing up pronunciation of Latin phrases before you began. 

You nodded at each other, he closed the space between you to press a chaste kiss against your lips. For luck. Or courage. You both held hands and started reciting the words. Asking the spirit to reveal itself. Asking for its purpose. Things started to shake, books started to fly out of the shelves and litter the floor. Giles had to do everything in his power to stay focused. 

The crystals flew at you both, scattering on the floor at your feet. You knew what this meant. It wanted you. It wanted to inhabit one of you. Possess you.

Giles didn’t even pause. He couldn’t have anything jeopardising his home. His love. He never wanted to be apart from you and so he started shouted that the spirit was being cast out. Cast from this home and back to where it came from. Nothing was happening except you were angering the demon. It had started to shriek. Blood curdling, squawks of terror that made you shiver.

The table was starting to shake, threatening to be thrown across the room and you panicked. Giles started to chant louder and you saw something from the corner of your eye. Giles was trying to contain the spirit within the confines of the pentagram at least - trying to cease the destruction of your shared home. A home that had held so much love and warmth being destroyed into nothing made him mad. He had memories in every room, he had told you of his love for you on the sofa that was now almost ripped in two.

You had seen a doll. You had picked it up from a fair, or a flea market. It was hideous. You don’t even remember why you bought it, it was oversized and had a blank stare that meant you had hidden it in a cupboard so you didn’t have to look at it. That now had been flung open with the contents littering the floor.

You panicked, having to move from the circle to grab the doll before placing it hurriedly into the centre of the pentagram. Giles said the final syllable and it happened. Everything suddenly went quiet. The room dull and empty. Littered with you entire lives surrounding you.

You had made it so the spirit passed into there. The doll. You winced as the doll started to shake and a horrible light filled the room. It was so bright it felt as if it was behind your eyes, inside your skull. A terrible scream felt as if it were exploding your eardrums before a cold silence fell again.

It was instinct. It had been dangerous, but you both agreed there would have been no other way. You stared around you at the mess and decided you needed to worry about the doll first.

You took the doll straight to the Magic Box and locked it up until you knew what to do with it.

You held hands as you stepped back over the threshold of your shared home, peering around corners and holding your breath before entering rooms. But it was okay. It was all back to normal. 

Nothing was out of place. It was as if the activity had been something you had made up. Something of a shared dream. But you knew that wasn’t the case, and thought better than ever mentioning it out loud.

You turned and almost knocked Giles over in your haste to celebrate with the biggest hug. He quickly recovered and held you close. It was over, you both sighed as the first rays of the sunrise peaked from behind your blinds. Everything was going to be okay.

The details of this story were based on true events.

Y/n and Giles went on to save the world several times since the events of this fic. They assisted the Slayer at the final battle of Sunnydale and both survived.

The doll was sent to the care of Wolfram & Hart. The whereabouts of the doll is currently unknown.

#very obviously not a true story #a very Buffy Halloween #Giles #Rupert Giles #Rupert Giles x reader #Giles x reader #Rupert Giles imagine #Rupert Giles x you #Giles imagine #btvs #ats #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #btvs x reader #btvs x you #btvs imagine #Halloween fic #Halloween #Halloween request

[12yeahiminluvwu]

Calm

pairing - Rudy Pankow x Little Sister!Reader

summary- Requested by @deathcompass :) “hi! your writing is amazing :) i was wondering if you could write something with drew/rudy where his younger sister has a panic attack and he helps her calm down because she gets them a lot?”

word count- 1.9+ 

warning(s)- panic attack tw, anxiety tw, swearing (maybe? idk), kinda cliche… gives me 2016 wattpad vibes ngl, the ending sucks i’m so sorry! very loosely edited

series masterlist 

masterlist

Disclaimer: I’ve only ever had very mild panic attacks so I’m going to use my own experiences to write this, but I do understand that they can be very severe and I’m not in any way trying to romanticize anything at all. I love you, stay safe <3 

-------------------------

“Hey bug, you ready to come home?” You sighed, realizing that summer was ending and you would be having to go back to Alaska for school. It hadn’t snuck up on you, but some part of you had hoped that you’d get to stay with your brother forever. 

“I guess…” You mumbled back, not wanting to hurt your parents but also not wanting to go back. 

“You’re all set to fly out in a few days, we can’t wait to see you!” Your mom exclaimed. You could hear the excitement in her voice which only broke your heart even more. The familiar feeling began to bubble up in your chest, making it seem like you couldn’t breathe in all the way, like something was taking up space in your lungs preventing you from getting enough oxygen. This hadn’t happened all summer, not since you came to live with Rudy. It had been so long since you felt it, you almost forgot the feeling altogether. 

“Sweetie? You still there?” Your mom’s voice brought you out of your own head and back into the real world, where a few minutes of silence had passed. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m here. I’ll see you soon. Love you guys.” You quickly ended the conversation, wanting to get as far away from your phone as possible, as your mind assimilated it with the panic you were feeling. 

This time, you were able to keep yourself calm.

--

“Baby, do you really have to leave?” Your boyfriend asked, his arms sliding around your waist, leaving goosebumps in their wake. The feeling of his skin on yours always ignited a fire within you, one you didn’t want to put out. You leaving in a few days felt like a storm threatening to wash away the wildfire the two of you had created together. 

“Yeah… I have to go back to school, my brother is gonna be filming season two of his show in Charleston, I’d have no one to stay with…” You mumbled into his chest, soaking in his scent, aching to remember every piece of him. Part of you wanted to believe that a long-distance relationship with him would work but the rest of you knew that it wasn’t fair to either of you. 

“Go to school here, with us! You could stay with me!” One of your best friends chimed in. A spark of hope lit up in your stomach, maybe you could stay. But then, like clockwork, that same feeling from earlier began to slither its way through your body. Your mind raced to all the things you’d be leaving behind, all the friends you had back home that you hadn’t seen in months. 

But as your mind raced and you sat with your new friends, and boyfriend (something you never thought you’d get back home), you realized the people in this room meant more to you than the people back home, who were only still friends with you because they didn’t have anyone else to be friends with. That still didn’t keep the panic at bay, but once again, you were able to keep yourself calm. 

--------------

“Roo, I wanna talk to you about something…” You said, coming into his room that night. 

“What’s up kid?” He asked, watching you sit down next to him on his bed. The way you twiddled your thumbs and chewed on your lips told him you were nervous about something, his mind racing to find out what it could be. The energy in the room shifted, and it was like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Taking a big gulp, you started trying to verbalize your thoughts, even though it felt like you couldn’t breathe. 

“So… I was thinking- maybe- I… I could stay here with my friends and go to school here. She said she’d- she’d talk to her mom and ask if it was ok. But like, I would- I would need your help talking to mom and dad because I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I really- really don;t want to go back home…” You stumbled out, hoping that he would understand what you had just word vomited at him. Slowly, you began to feel the burn of tears coming to your eyes, and desperately you tried to hold them back. 

“You want to stay here? How come?” He asked. He sat up, coaxing you into his arms cause he knows it calms you down. You laid your head on his chest and kept trying to take deep breaths as he stroked your hair. 

“I feel more understood by the people I’ve met here than I do by anyone in that stupid little town…” You whispered, “I’ve gotten closer to them in 3 months than I did to anyone back home in 16 years, Rudy. I have no one... no one real anyway.” 

“So you want to stay here in LA?” He asked again and you nodded. The sound of his voice was distant, sounding miles away. You did your best to focus on your breathing but that focus was quickly slipping away as your breathing became more sporadic and uneven. It was as if something was sitting on your chest, preventing you from getting enough air. 

“I’ll talk to mom and dad and see what they say. Kiddo, I need you to focus on your breathing ok? Focus on taking a deep breath all the way in and breathing all the way out.” He continued to run his fingers through your hair as you gasped in deep breaths and let the tears fall down your face. Slowly, the room started opening back up and even though the tears still ran down your face and your hands shook like an earthquake, it got a little easier to breathe. 

“That’s it, just like that,” He cooed. You sighed at the sound of his voice, remembering when you used to get these all the times before Rudy left home. After he was gone, they picked up even more and your mom and dad just didn’t quite know how to ground you like Rudy did. He was always there to protect you, it was a kick in the gut when he left you. But here he was, calming you down.

-----------------------------

Rudy sat up in the living room, the next morning. You were still asleep, somewhat exhausted from last night's events. The phone rang and he took a deep breath, hoping for nothing more than to be able to get you what you want. 

“Hey Rudy! How have you been?” Your guys’ mom answered and he smiled, hearing the happiness in her voice. 

“Hey mom, is dad around?” He asked and heard shuffling on the other end. Suddenly his dad's voice sounded from the line and they got a little lost in simple conversation. Rudy then remembered exactly why he called them and got down to business. 

“So I wanna talk to you about Y/n…” He trailed off and your parents went a little quiet. He started to feel the sweat gather on his palms and gulped down the nervous lump in his throat, noticing the shift of energy in the call. 

“Is she ok? Did something happen to her?” Your dad spewed out, worried that something might have happened to his little girl, but he shook his head before remembering they couldn’t see him. 

“No no no she’s fine, but I know you guys are gonna be a little skeptical about what I’m going to tell you,” He sighed before continuing on, “ She wants to stay here for the school year…” 

The line went quiet. He could tell his parents were shocked, the fact that their daughter didn’t want to come home was a lot to process and they had no idea what the reasoning behind it was. 

“What do you mean? She doesn’t want to come home?” The woman gasped, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

“She’s ade some really awesome friends, people she’s closer to than anyone she is with at home. She’s already lined up a place to stay while I’m shooting. I think you’d really like them actually. It’s one of her best friends and her mom, they’re really nice! I think you guys should change Y/n’s ticket so that you guys can come down here…” He rushed out, hoping they understood him, but he was met with silence once again. 

“Uhm… We’re not making any promises, but we’ll come down there so we can talk about this as a family…” His dad said and he nodded with a smile, agreeing. 

----------------------

You woke up feeling the events from last night lingering in your shoulders and neck. 

It was a familiar ache that only ever happened after an attack, a muscle tightness that made it feel as though you’d been sleeping on concrete for the past week. Doing your best to roll out the soreness, you walked into the kitchen to see Rudy with a look on his face that you couldn’t read. 

“So… I talked to mom and dad, and they’re gonna come here so we can talk about you staying!” He smiled and you felt like a little bit of the weight you’d been feeling lifted. 

“When are they coming?” 

“They’ll be here tomorrow,” He said, coming over and hugging me tightly, “We’ll get you where you need to be kid, promise!” 

----------------------

The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. Your parents sat across from you and your brother, silently. You could tell they were deep in thought, but it didn’t help the shaking that began to take over your hands. 

All you wanted was for them to understand. They weren’t always great at that… 

“Mom, are you gonna say anything?” You finally asked, wincing when she let out a sign.

“Y/n, I just don’t like the idea of you living with someone you just met three months ago....” She said finally and your dad nodded along with her. 

“You don’t understand though. I’m closer to them than I am to anybody back home! I know her and I know that she cares about me, her mom cares about me! When I wasn’t here, I was there. I’m practically already a part of the family! She’s had me and Rudy over for dinner so many times I lost count. She’s hosted dinner parties for the cast because she wants to get to know the people close to Rudy and I because she cares! She’s like a second mom to me. And I love you guys, I really do. But I’m just not happy at home! It doesn’t feel like home anymore. This… This feels like home.” You stood up, pacing back and forth, your voice gradually raising to try and hold in the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Baby…” 

“Momma…” You whispered pleadingly, looking her in the eyes for the first time since she’d arrived and finally letting the tears fall. Rudy was next to you in seconds, pulling you into his arms, doing his best to keep you grounded so you didn’t fall off the edge.

The silence was filled by your sniffles and Rudy’s whispers into your ear. Your parents looked at each other with a knowing look in their eyes. It was obvious that they were not your home anymore, and no matter how much it broke their hearts they knew they had to let you go.

“Y/n, honey, we want to meet the family first, but we think you should stay. We want you to be happy bug, and if this is where you’re happy, then this is where you should be!” Your mom finally said, coming over and wrapping you and your brother in a tight hug. Your dad followed in suit and soon enough you started to feel yourself calm down.

#rudy's little sister #rudy pankow #rudy pankow x reader #rudy pankow imagine #outer banks #imagine #x reader #jj maybank #pogue #netflix #y/n #rudy pankow x y/n #x y/n #self insert

[crashingmeteorz]

rich kid runaways (ft. yuexzukoxtoph friendship)

for my 100 Followers Celebration - credit to @aroacebitchboi for this amazing idea!

zuko faces his father in the agni kai, and when he is told what he must do in order to be welcome in his homeland again, he just says “fuck this” and runs away.

he’s not sure where he’s gonna go, just that he has to get out, and fast, because his dad’s gonna kill him. like. for real. so he stows away on a fire navy ship headed Literally Anywhere Else (and maybe the soldiers don’t care! because he’s 13 and hurting children is a disgrace! maybe they sneak him food and blankets idk!)

yue, meanwhile, in the north pole, has just been told she is going to enter an arranged marriage for the good of her people when she turns 16. respectfully, she asks her father what exactly this marriage will do, politically speaking. the north isn’t at war with itself, in fact they’re more united than ever. maybe if it were a southern water tribe boy, sure, but no, it’s going to be a northern boy.

her father just tells her it’s imperative to the stability of the tribe that they uphold tradition. yue, realizing this is bullshit, even at the tender age of 13, says “fuck this”, and runs away.

she is all but screwed without waterbending or any practical survival knowledge - except, she’s been chosen by the moon spirit. when she steals a boat and heads south, the moon takes pity on its ward and keeps her safe, at least on her waterbound journey. once she lands on the northern shores of the earth kingdom, yue depends on the kindness of strangers to survive.

zuko, meanwhile, is angry and mistrustful and afraid when he ends up on the western shores of the earth kingdom, and he depends entirely on his determination to survive. he learns to live off the land the hard way, and avoids major cities and towns for fear of being found out as a firebender. of course, if he’s ever spotted, he’s regarded with pity and empathy because of the festering burn on his face, but zuko doesn’t realize that.

yue never stays in one place too long, bouncing from family to family and learning more skills in a few months than she was ever taught in her whole life up north. she cooks and cleans and sews, yes, but she also farms and skins hunted animals and does house repairs. she is happily taken into homes because of her ability to heal - though never a waterbender, yue still learned basic healing with the other northern women, and can manage even bad wounds all on her own.

afraid she’ll be recognized by her vibrant hair, however, yue continues her journey south, considering running to the south pole for sanctuary. she wonders how their women are treated. zuko, meanwhile, lives alone in the wilderness most of the time, and moves very slowly up the west coast.

they’re 14 when their paths cross. three fire nation soldiers harass yue while she’s journeying along a rural road, asking her for a made-up toll. usually trading in work, yue has no money to speak of. the soldiers threaten violence, and, though he is afraid of being caught by his countrymen, zuko was never one to let bullies have power over the innocent.

he emerges from the forest, swords in hand, attacking the soldiers. at first it seems like he has the upper hand - and then he stumbles, and the soldiers laugh and pull him up to beat him. zuko panics and relies on instinct - firebending at the soldiers and burning them badly. they run away yelling, and zuko panics, certain that he’ll be caught out. he goes to run, but yue stops him.

“you’re hurt,” she says, pointing to where he’d been cut by the soldiers’ swords. “please, let me help you. it’s the least i can do.”

“you’re not scared of me?” zuko asks in confusion, looking around wildly, afraid his father will pop out of the trees and strike him down.

“you saved me,” yue says, just as confused, because between the rescue and the obvious burn mark, she doesn’t really think this boy would have any reason to hurt her. also he’s kinda shrimpy, and yue, who has built up some strength through hard work, is pretty sure she could take him. “come on, i have some herbs. is there clean water nearby?”

shocked that anyone in the earth kingdom wouldn’t call for zuko’s arrest on the spot, zuko leads yue to a stream in the forest. yue silently patches his wounds, and then eventually asks if she can get a look at his eye. apart from the initial work of the fire nation healers, zuko hadn’t really done much to treat his eye, and it’s so badly crusted he can barely see out of it. when yue reaches for him, he jerks away.

“i don’t need your help!” he snaps, standing and shaking himself off. “if it weren’t for you, i wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.”

“excuse me.” says yue, standing as well, because who is he to talk to her that way? “i didn’t ask you for help, you chose to do that. and you’re mad at those soldiers, not me, so why don’t you try being a little nicer?”

they stare at each other furiously for a moment. then yue sighs and says “i think i can help you with your eye, so that you can see. let me do that and i’ll leave you alone.”

it’s painful, and a very slow process, but with water warmed by zuko’s bending (”just heat up the water.” “someone could see!” “we’re in the middle of a literal forest! who’s spying! the frogs???”) and a few medicinal herbs, yue manages to clear away most of the crust and dead skin over zuko’s eye. when he finally opens it again, he’s shocked to find that he can see.

“well, i won’t bother you anymore,” yue says huffily, moving to leave the forest. as she does, she realizes she doesn’t know where the heck she is. zuko’s still marveling at how different the world looks with two eyes.

“umm, which way is out?” yue asks him. zuko snaps back to reality and says “oh, um. i’ll show you.” because he is, admittedly, grateful.

of course, when they try to leave the forest, they run into bandits and barely escape. then yue reccomends they take a country road, and zuko reluctantly agrees, except they run into more bandits. after the fourth round of bandits in two weeks, they’re convinced they’ve been cursed with bad luck.

“can we just go to a town or a city?” yue asks, panting from their desperate escape. “we’re not having much luck living in the wild.”

“i was fine until you showed up!” zuko retorts, panting as well. “fine! then i’ll leave!” yue yells back.

“wait,” zuko says, and yue turns, tapping her foot impatiently. “i’m sorry,” zuko says, to yue’s shock, because if her few weeks with this kid who calls himself lee has taught her anything, it’s that he does not apologize. “i don’t really...understand, um, local people and-“

“let me do the talking,” yue says, gentle as always, reaching for zuko’s arm. he smiles at her, a real, happy smile, and they make their way to the nearest earth kingdom town.

after that, yue and zuko are inseparable. they argue a lot, naturally, but they become good friends, too. yue says she always wanted a sibling, zuko says he always wanted a different sibling, so it’s nice, to have each other. without going into too much detail, they bond over their shared experiences of pre-determined destinies and overbearing parental figures (“my father said i have to get married for the good of the people! what does that even mean?” “tell me about it, my father got mad that i talked out of turn, so he tried to kill me.” “...he what?” “hahaha just kidding that’s not a normal thing that happens.”) no matter how scary it gets, they agree, the earth kingdom makes them feel freer than they ever have before.

does the food they cook suck because they’ve never had to cook in their lives? yes. do they sometimes put all four feet in their mouths because of how they speak to the poor people of the earth kingdom? yes. have they ticked off a lot of fellow teenagers for acting bratty? yes. (“what, so, you don’t have palaces around here?” yue asks. “yeah, where are the royal gardens?” zuko asks. “leave before we rock your shit.” says Every Teenager They Meet.) but at the end of the day, they’re happy.

at 15 they reach a city called gaoling. by now they can both do enough odd jobs that they always have some pocket money on them, although yue still struggles to behave in a way that isn’t dainty and delicate, and zuko still struggles with basic social skills.

they’re getting ready to move along, when they’re stopped by a girl. she’s young, about 11, and entirely blind. she’s being chased by a loud crowd, who seem to be just around the corner.

“please!” the girl says. “help hide me! they’re after me! i think they’re going to kidnap me!” yue and zuko, who are the captains of the child-protection-squad, immediately move to protect the girl.

“this way!” zuko says, and the three of them run down narrow streets and alleyways, in and around shops, until they’re stopped at the city gate by the mob going after the girl.

“alright, kid,” the leader, a tall, buff man with long greasy hair says. “you’ve stolen from us for the last time.”

“how many time do i have to tell you?” the girl bellows, much different than her sweet and innocent pleas from before. “i won fair and square! you’re just mad because you got your butt kicked by a little girl!”

before zuko and yue can even react, the girl pummels the mob of men with an avalanche of rocks, and then launches the earth they’re standing on into the air, landing them far outside of the city limits in a dizzying display.

“woo! that was awesome!” the girl says gleefully pumping her arms. zuko and yue are both trying to wrap their heads around what just happened. “thanks for the help. not that i needed it, i just didn’t want my parents’ guards to see me bending...i wasn’t really planning on running away, but, i mean, i doubt they’ll even notice i’m gone-”

“just a second,” yue says, collecting herself. zuko’s jaw is still hanging open. “who are you?”

the girl grins smugly. “name’s toph. who are you?”

i cannot fully express how much i love this idea. top-notch. god-tier. thank you again!

#rich kid runaways #100 follower celebration #zuko #yue #toph #atla #avatar the last airbender #life happens wherever queue are

[theladysexpistol]

Can i get Josuke, Polnareff, Formaggio and Narancia trying to jumpscare their s/o but they were holding a kettle with boiling water and they spilled it on themselve and getting a bad burn ?

Hi anon! So my character limit is 3 unless it’s a team, I hope you don’t mind me just doing Polnareff, Josuke, and Narancia 🥺 don’t get me wrong i like Formaggio too (I’ve got a veryyyyy spicy WIP for him on the side), but I think him and Polnareff might be pretty similar anyway.

Also awww this kinda fluffy angst, the poor reader!

~~~

Polnareff

I cannot for the life of me remember what ep this is from lmaoo Pol you just really look so funny

To say Polnareff was devoted to you was almost an understatement. In the months he had been gone, investigating something for a friend he wouldn’t tell you about, he made sure to smother you in affection from afar. Love letters, flower bouquets ordered from vendors down the street you weren’t quite sure how he did it. You knew he missed you terribly, and you missed him too.

Especially on mornings like these, with the sun so bright and warm, not a cloud in the sky. You smiled to yourself at how cheesy it was to think of Jean Pierre just over a normal, sunny morning, but you imagined he would make a morning like this anything but mundane. You made yourself a cup of tea and went out to the front porch of the little cottage you lived in.

Polnareff wanted to surprise you when got back. It was incredibly difficult for him not to call you instantly when he was finished investigating. He wanted to hear your voice, to see you, to hold you and catch up on the months of time he had lost with you. He made his way up to your house with the widest grin on his face, and the largest bundle of roses in his hand that he could possibly afford.

Both of you had the perfect reunion set up in your mind. You reached for the door at the same time Polnareff swung it open.

You jumped back when the door appeared to come alive, spilling your tea all over yourself. The boiling liquid burned your arms, and as if you wouldn’t have already started crying upon seeing him, you burst into tears.

Polnareff’s smile fell and the roses were discarded to the ground as he lunged forward toward you, putting his arms around your back to steady you.

“Mon cherie, what happened? I am so sorry... I didn’t mean to frighten you mon amour! Let’s get that treated right away.”

Despite his hulking frame and rather large muscles, Polnareff was gentle and tender as he helped treat your minor burns. Eventually your tears gave way to laughter. He had just been trying to surprise you and look what you had done. Any sort of romantic reunion was completely thrown out the window as the two of you had grown worried, spent the first hour together again trying to fix your stupid mistake.

He gave you a very confused look when you started laughing, and his face almost made you laugh more. Finally, you gathered yourself enough to bring your hand to his face, and pull him down into a kiss.

“Not what I had planned but...” you smiled as you finally got a good look at his face again. “Welcome home.”

Josuke

“Oh! Hello Josuke,” your mother greeted him after he’d knocked on the front door.

“H-hello, ma’am... uh, I mean Mrs [L/n],” he bumbled, internally flinching at his own trip up. It didn’t matter how many times he talked with your parents, it made him incredibly nervous. There wasn’t even any reason to be! They were incredibly kind to him; and if he could deal with his own mother, he should be able to deal with anyone. He sighed, ran a hand over his pompadour habitually, and gathered himself. “Is [y/n] free? I was hoping we could go together to meet up with our friends at the cafe.”

“Hm? Oh yes, [y/n] is awake in the kitchen. Go right on ahead, Josuke.”

As he stepped past your mother, however, he noticed she had a coat and her purse thrown over her shoulder, as if she was leaving. She seemed to notice him staring, because she smiled once more at him.

“I’m just running to the grocery store. You two kids better not get up to anything while I’m gone!” She said before stepping outside and closing the door.

Even though he knew she was teasing, Josuke felt a blush crawl across his face. He heard that all the time from his own mother, but there was something different about your mother saying it to him.

Now that he knew the two of you were alone though, he wasn’t embarrassed to give you a little surprise kiss. Purposefully, a miscue IOU’s grin crawled on his face as Josuke snuck toward the kitchen; for someone of his height and stature, one might think this was impossible, but Josuke had learned by now the art of stealth in order to play video games while his mom was sleeping down the hall.

He peeked his head around the wall, where he found you standing at the counter, humming a song to yourself. He was so overcome by the thought of how cute you were that he didn’t notice the kettle of boiling water in your hands as he lunged forward.

“Gotcha!” Josuke gleefully yelled as he seized you by the hips, but his lips did not make their way to your face.

You, aware that Josuke may be stopping by today but assuming you were alone when your mother left, shrieked upon the feeling of someone grabbing you. The kettle in your hand went flying, as did the cup of tea you had already poured in the other. By the time you realized it was Josuke, and that your mother must have let him in, you were already crying as the hot water burned you.

“Wha- shit! Shit!” Josuke immediately grew agitated when he recognized you were hurt, it then took him several moments later to realize it was his fault.

If there was one thing Josuke was devoted to, it was protecting the people he cared about. That was the basis behind the restoration ability of Crazy Diamond. And he was the one who had hurt you.

You didn’t flinch when he reached for you, that much was reassuring to him. He took both of your hands in his and manifested his Stand. It never mattered to him in the moment when people who couldn’t see Stands realized he had healed them somehow; all that mattered was taking away the pain, making it anew. And he wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from you. Even if Crazy Diamond’s ability made him feel the pain instead, he’d gladly take it. The burden belonged on him, it was his fault.

A minute passed and you passed your fingers over where the burn had been, mesmerized and stunned. You had no idea how Josuke had healed you. In fact it was somewhat of a miracle. But you didn’t want to think about it now, pushing it from your head as you looked up toward him.

“I’m sorry,” your boyfriend muttered, looking utterly defeated.

“It’s okay Josuke,” you cooed softly, wanting nothing more than to see his smile in that moment. “It was an accident, that’s all.”

As you pushed your head into his chest and hugged him, Josuke tenderly wrapped his own arms around you too. Right, an accident. And Crazy Diamond had healed you, restored your skin without fail. So that the only thing left of the incident was the dripping countertop where the kettle had spilled, and the guilt already weighing heavily on his spirit.

Narancia

Waking up in your arms was what Narancia lived for. You werent living together yet, but it was something you discussed often; especially considering how much time he spent at your place anyway, and how much he slept over. He had an extra bag left in your apartment just in case he got called out to a mission while in your home.

But when Narancia woke up to an empty bed, he found something he like even better - the smell of breakfast wafting from the other room. You were cooking for him?! It was like every day, you got more and more perfect to him.

Narancia hastily got dressed, pulling on much of the clothes he had been wearing the previous day. He assumed that in all his fumbling and swearing, you would have heard that he was awake from the open bedroom door.

He stretched, mussled his hands through his bedhead hair to make it more of an even unruly mess, and bolted out of the room straight to where you were standing in the kitchen.

“Buongiorno!” He yelled as he wrapped his arms around you tightly. His eyes were closed and a big grin was over his face, delighted to spend another morning with you.

But when Narancia heard you gasp, felt something hot drip ever slightly on his arms, he opened his eyes and his wonderful morning shattered.

“What happened?!” He growled immediately, as if he thought someone had attacked you. You were clutching your arm against your chest, gasping over and over again. But then Narancia’s eyes wandered over the stain on your shirt and the liquid on the floor, the shattered cup, and Narancia realized exactly what happened. Espresso was one of his favorite things, but right now he hated it more than anything else in the world.

“Cosa ho fatto? Damn it! Oh god, [y/n], I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to spook you!”

He couldn’t help but panic a bit, upset that he had caused this. All you had wanted to do was make breakfast for him and he repays you by burning you? Eventually, Narancia calmed down enough to bring you a wash cloth of cool water to wrap the burn in and guided you over to the couch. Your voice helped calm him down too, assuring him over and over that it was an accident.

Of course, how much more pathetic could he be? You were in pain, you were the one who had been hurt and yet you had to comfort him? Narancia was visibly upset as you brought him down to sit next to you, and cuddled into his side. Narancia was tense, but wiped the tears on your cheeks away and watched as you fell asleep with him. He was surprised by this trust; the anxiety that you might not feel safe any longer in his arms would keep him wide awake at night from that moment on.

~~~

[A/N: so like I spent a long time trying to come up with these and liked my ideas... but after writing them idk how I feel. I feel like I made the Polnareff one too lighthearted and the Narancia one too serious. But I put so much effort into them that I can’t see them coming out any other way. The Josuke one turned out exactly how I planned though. I hope you like them all anyway!]

#bree writes #jojo fanfiction #polnareff x reader #josuke x reader #narancia x reader #tw burns #angsty #request 💖

[cal-puddies]

caught in between || poly!lashton

idk how many more sexual scenarios i can push, but i am loving on the character and relationship development. @kindahoping4forever​ cheered your girl on as she always does. 

Poly! Lashton: the blow job || daddy’s home || cream pie || take the pleasure, take it with the pain || all at once this is enough || caught in between || take my heart, hit the back || daddy issues || needy || only you know the way that I break || picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

Ash comes home from work early one day, neither you or Luke were expecting him. You just knew he’d been tired a lot and there had been a lot of late nights at the office and him coming in and collapsing in bed with you and Luke. You can only remember one night he spent in his own bed since the three of you had the incredibly intimate night, and that was only because he had zero energy to join you. 

You’d made note and made sure anything you and Luke wanted to do was done before he got home. He seemed to need to be with the two of you, re-energized by the closeness, at least enough to get through another crazy day. 

But he was in high spirits. He grins at you, calls for Luke and collapses with you on the couch. Luke looks confused when he walks in, handing you a sandwich wrapped in a napkin and a bottle of water and sits on the other side of Ash, taking a bite of his own sandwich.

“Babes.” He grins, “big news! Projects done. Which means I have time for a vacation with

My two favorite people in the world.” 

Luke grins wide, “does this also mean we’ll see you at normal times again?” 

“Yes, babe, it does.” 

“I’ve missed you two.” He quickly grabs Lukes face and kisses his cheek and then yours. “I’m gonna change real quick and then we can talk about where we wanna go.”

Luke’s brain is already working for where they can go, he likes the idea of the beach again, because you in a bikini and Ash half naked for basically the entire trip? Hell yeah. But Ash wasn’t usually too keen on long beach trips. Maybe they could do Vegas though, Luke did love the night life. 

Ash comes back, black athletic shorts only, “any thoughts babes?” He asks, sitting back between you. 

“I liked the beach house.” You pipe up. 

“The beach house was fun.” Ash agrees, “but I’d like to take you two somewhere else.” He drapes his arm across your shoulders. “Vegas?” Ash asks, looking at Luke like he could read his mind. 

“Eh.. I dunno if I’m ready to share baby girl like that. Way too many eyes would be all over her. Look at this hot piece of ass.” Luke reaches over and playfully pinches your thigh. 

“That’s fair… though, you seem to have trouble keeping your hands to yourself in Vegas.” Ash mentions to him. “We haven’t been to New York in awhile. Shopping’s good, plenty to do, good food… and it’d be nice to actually have you there. That place lacks so much of you two when I go for work.” 

“Can I also pitch Hawaii?” Luke asks, “I’ve never been, have you?” He asks you and Ash watches as you shake your head, “and she'd be in a bikini a lot… and that’s a selling point.” He explains. 

“That… is also an excellent idea.” Ash agrees, “both of you half naked for the whole trip and sun kissed… pretty girl, thoughts?”  He asks. 

“Oh… you two can choose. I’ve never been to either.” You shrug, getting up to exit the conversation. 

Ash grabs your hand as you breeze by, “no love, it’s for all of us, we can all decide.” He pulls you back into his lap. “You really don’t have an opinion?” He checks. 

“All that will matter to me is that I get to be with you guys.” You shrug. Ash squeezes you and kisses your cheek, “if you’re sure babe…” he watches you nod and let’s you go. 

That lands you in the small airport a week later. You knew Ash flew private for work, but you weren’t expecting to fly private, probably ever. Your fingers are tangled in Luke’s shirt as you wait, they'd decided on New York and neither of them were aware you’d never flown. But you could feel a panic attack say they were both gonna find out. 

“Hey.” Luke says, cupping your chin. “What is it? You’ve been pulling at my shirt for like the last ten minutes.” 

“It’s nothing.” You mumble, not meeting his eyes. 

“Talk to me.” Luke coaxes. 

“No. It’s fine.” You untangle your fingers and walk away from him, a little annoyed he wasn’t more sensitive to your obvious mood change. Ash would pick up on it, even though he might not say anything, but Luke could be oblivious if it would interfere with his own good time. 

You sit on the floor in a corner. Away from eyes. 

Luke spots you, head between your knees, and he knows it’s more serious than he initially thought. He walks up to Ashton and bumps him gently on his shoulder, “you gonna be on your phone the whole trip, because you’re gonna miss things like… that.” He points toward you and Ash’s eyes snap in your direction. 

“No, the second we leave I’m done… what’s wrong there?” He asks, shoving his phone in his pocket. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t quite recognize the vibe. She was pulling at my shirt and wouldn't tell me what’s up.” Luke shrugs, but he’s clearly worried now. 

“Pulling at your shirt?” Ash asks, still trying to get details and assess you. Luke shows him, twisting his fingers in his own shirt. “Mmkay. Stay here, I'll get it.” 

And then ash is in front of you, kneeling, gently running his fingers over the back of your neck. You flinch and he rests his hand there until you look up. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?” He asks quietly. 

“I’ve never flown before.” The tears well up and spill over. 

“Hey, it’s ok. Why didn’t you say something?” He moves closer. 

“You and Luke seemed so excited and I didn’t want to just ask to stay here, I’ve never left the state.” 

“Ok. It’s ok to be scared baby, but do you think I would ever do anything to put you in danger? After we’ve said “I love you” without our attention whore boyfriend?” 

He watches you smirk, “he’s just so pretty.” You relax a little. 

“And nothing but trouble.” Ashton grins. “C’mon, you’ll sit with me. I’ll keep you safe.” He holds his hand out and then the three of you are walking out to the tarmac to board the plane. 

Ash sits, and you sit in the seat next to him, it seems a lot more spacious than it looked from the outside, and everything was so expensive looking, from the white leather seats, down to the trim. Ash’s thumb rubs over the back of your hand, and he pulls it to his mouth to kiss it. 

Luke stops, rests his hand on your cheek. “You ok?” He murmurs. “You’ve been crying.” 

“I’m fine.” You nod, meeting his eyes. He leans in and kisses you. And then is taking a seat across the aisle. 

An attendant comes around, “Mr. Irwin, can I get you guys anything before take off?” She asks. 

“Yes, we’ll have a whiskey on the rocks.” He points between you and himself, “and he’ll drink whatever you give him, I’m sure.” Ash laughs. 

“I’ll do vodka and ginger.” Luke orders. 

You spend 65% of the flight in Ashton’s lap, Luke occupying the seat next to you. He’s being as reassuring as possible but every time the plane so much as jostles from turbulence, you’re freaking out. So, he holds you tight, murmurs that you’re ok, and kisses your cheek. “Hope you enjoy this more on the way back.”

You both watch Luke flirt with the flight attendant, and you’d be more worried except you know for a fact that the first thing Luke is gonna wanna do when you get settled is get naked. But you feel the jealousy radiate off Ashton as Luke continues to flirt with her, touching her, making little comments. 

“Sucks not to be the center of his world.” Ash murmurs to you. Both of you situated to look out of the window instead of at Luke. 

“We’re both still the center of his world.” You assure him, “sometimes he just needs other people in his orbit.” You chuckle. 

“He found the only two people that would love each other just to love him.” Ash smirks. 

“You don’t believe that?” You challenge. 

“I think… Luke is someone who needs attention, and he doesn’t mind sharing my attention with you, but when I focus on you, it can be too much for him.” 

“I don’t disagree but I was talking about loving each other to love him.” You chuckle. “I think I would have wound up loving you if we’d met without Luke.” You shrug, daring to actually lean in to look out the window. Ash tightens his grip on you. 

“I haven’t thought of it, honestly.” He hums. 

And to no one's surprise, Luke whines about wanting to order in, and begging to go down on either of you. Somehow, Luke has become the most submissive, getting himself down to his underwear, unbelieving that either of you wouldn’t want a thing from him at the moment. 

“Why didn’t you get the flight attendants number?” Ashton teases, you and him unpacking. 

“I didn’t want her.” He whines.

“Coulda fooled us, baby.” Ash laughs. “You couldn’t have been more all over her.” 

“What about you two?” He groans. 

“Love. The food menus are in the kitchen, top drawer across from the sink. Go find something you wanna eat.” Ash says, shooing Luke. 

“Don’t fuck my girl.” Luke warns, narrowing his eyes. 

“I’ll do whatever me and our girl wants.” Ash warns, “now go.” Ashton rolls his eyes. “He’s a needy one.” He says when Luke is out of ear shot. 

“Not really news.” You chuckle. 

“I want to talk to you about something.” Ash mentions moving closer. “I wanna put Luke between us.” His hands push up under the hem of your shirt, “but I think you’ll need to bring it up to Luke.”

“Like?” 

“Luke fucks you, while I fuck him.” He says quietly, kissing you. “I know we’ve been playing with the dynamic a little bit. You a little less sub and a lot less pawn, but I don’t think he’ll be able to control himself… having both of us.”

“God.” You sigh, “his hips forced by yours? Will I survive?” You chuckle, rubbing your hands along his biceps. 

“To wreck you both would be the goal.” He admits, smiling, pulling you in closer. 

“Ooh daddy… keep talking dirty to me.” You grin, reaching for the buttons on his shirt. 

“Luke would be so mad if we did anything right now without him.” Ash chuckles. 

“And Luke played grab ass with the flight attendant for half the flight… besides, you just taking care of me, no questions asked for the flight today. Really hot, and I’m ready for you to just bend me over this bed and rail me.” You admit. 

“Can’t argue with that, now can I?” He chuckles, pressing his lips to yours. “I like this side of you where you ask for what you want.” 

“I’ve found I have a better chance of getting what I want, and I dunno… you’ve made me more confident in myself.” You shrug. 

“What kind of daddy would I be if I didn’t give my baby what she needed?” He wonders aloud. 

“The absolute worst.” You nod. 

“I’m not bending you over this bed though.” Ash says, pulling your shirt over your head. You start kissing him and he works on getting the both of you naked before settling in the middle of the bed. He holds his hand out and pulls you into him, swiping the tip of his cock through your wet folds, before pulling you down on top of him. “Figured it’s about time for me to have you like this.” He murmurs, kissing you, “stay quiet for me?” 

“Yeah, Ash I will.” You agree, ‘daddy’ didn’t seem appropriate for this kind of intimate. 

You tuck your face against ash’s neck as the two of you work together. He groans when your little whines start to reach his ears. “Hey, look at me.” He whispers, waiting for your eyes to meet his. You look up and press your lips to his. He holds the back of your head to hold you close. “Needed this with you.” He murmurs. 

“Me too.” You agree, slightly nodding and gripping into him. 

“Still gonna fill you with cum for Luke though.” He smirks. 

“I’d expect nothing less.” You laugh. “Like this.” You hum, pressing your lips back to his. 

“I do too.” He groans. “I never thought we’d get here.” He mumbles into your mouth. 

“Fuck.” You whine, head falling back, exposing your neck. Ash moves his lips along your skin, making small marks that’ll be covered by hair or a shirt collar. 

“C’mon pretty girl, give it to me.” He murmurs. He can tell you’re close, you’re digging in your nails and letting out small moans. He knows Luke must be able to hear you two, and he’s probably pouting. Not daring to come back and make a scene since he’d been sent away. 

“Yeah…” you breathe, nodding your head. “Fill me up Ash. Fill me with your cum.” You moan, you press your cheek to his, letting your whimpers fill his ears. 

He groans louder than he means to when you squeeze around him. “Fuck fuck fuck…. always so good.” 

“Please ash,” you moan. 

“M’right there pretty girl.” He bites your shoulder and you feel the hot cum start to spurt into you, his groan rumbles against your skin. Ash is quickly tilting you back, “keep your hips up for me, wanna keep as much cum as we can in you for Lukey.” He whispers, kissing you. He pulls out slowly and you hold your hips up. He climbs off the bed and grabs your panties, helping you put them back on, he pulls them into place and then helps you off the bed, you watch him clean his cock, and then pull his underwear and a pair of athletic shorts on. He helps you slip his button down on and he chooses a few buttons in the middle to button. 

The two of you walk out to the living room, hand in hand and Luke is clearly pouting. 

“Did you pick something to eat?” Ash asks, pulling you to the couch to sit with Luke. 

“D’you guys fuck?” He retorts. 

“I wouldn’t say we fucked, no, but if you’re gonna continue to be a little shit then I’ll happily clean baby girl up.” 

You watch Luke’s eyes narrow at Ashton and then he turns and looks at you, his eyes fall to your thighs and he grabs one and pushes it aside, seeing the wet spot seep through the thin cloth. “You full of cum, pretty girl?”

“Yeah.” You nod, watching him. 

“I want Thai. Menus on the counter.” He murmurs, eyes not leaving you. 

“Mmkay. I’ll order, I trust you’ll take care of the mess?” Ash smirks, he hears Luke’s slurping begin almost immediately after he leaves the room. And he’s not surprised when he walks in and sees you with your ass on the edge of the couch, panties on the floor and Luke on his knees. Ash sits next to you, “Lukey.” He murmurs. “How is it?” Luke's eyes flicker to him momentarily and he grins, he makes eye contact with you while he pushes two fingers in to scoop out cum. “You better give her another orgasm baby.” Ash warns. 

Ash enjoys watching you two, he likes Luke on his knees even if it isn’t for him. “Lukey.” You whimper. 

Ash gently caresses your face, wanting your attention, “feel good pretty girl? On that already sensitive clit?” He asks, and you nod. “Give her another finger Luke.” 

“She’s already got two.” He murmurs. 

“She can take 3.” Ash assures him. Luke follows directions and slips a third finger in you, causing you to gasp. Ash kisses your bottom lip, pushes his hand down your body and tangles his fingers in Luke's hair. “Stick your tongue out.” He says to Luke and he does, “now you, my pretty little thing, get your orgasm.” It takes you a minute to get what he means but then you’re working your hips against Luke’s tongue, simultaneously fucking his fingers in the meantime. “That’s it, look at you two.” He grins. “Get yourself off. Use Luke like daddy does.” He encourages. He uses his free hand to pull you into a kiss, swallowing your moans and whimpers meant for Luke. “Look at how bad you want it.” He grins. “Just came for me and now look at how bad you need to cum for Luke. My pretty little sluts.” He grins against your mouth. 

Your hips stutter a bit, “fuck, Lukey.” You whine. You relax, resting back into the couch. 

Luke continues to work his fingers in and out, gently licking at where your juices are spreading on your thighs and around your opening. He pushes up off the floor and sits next to you, he pulls his fingers out and you holds them up, Ash leans across you and starts sucking on them, his hand pushes over your thigh so he could grab Luke’s cock. When Luke pulls his fingers from Ash’s mouth he leans in and kisses him. You can feel Ash’s hand working on Luke’s cock, the Pre cum leaking onto your thigh. 

There’s a knock on the door and Ash pulls from the kiss. “Finish him.” He murmurs, “kiss him. He needs it.” He kisses your cheek and pulls away from both of you. 

Luke whimpers and you reach over and grab his cock. His lips immediately find yours. You pull out of the kiss and watch him, watch his face scrunch up, lips part. “Wanna ask you something.” You murmur, kissing on his neck while jerking him off. 

“Anything you want, baby girl.” He groans when you swipe your thumb over his slit. 

“Wanna put you between Ash and I.” You admit, pulling back as he continues to look for your lips. 

“Can we come back to this?” He moans. 

“Babes, food.” Ash calls. 

“I’m almost there!” Luke whines. 

You hear Ash coming back toward you. “Thought I told you to kiss him.” He murmurs to you, reaching over the back of the couch and replacing your hand with his. “Let him cum on you.” 

You lean in to kiss Luke like Ash wants and Luke bites your lip and then goes on the suck on it before pulling out to moan. You feel his hot cum coat your thigh, “good boy Lukey.” You grin at him, “thank you.” 

Ash swipes his finger tips in Luke's cum and holds them up to your mouth. You suck the cum off Ash’s fingers. 

“Let’s get you two cleaned up so we can just relax tonight.” Ash grins. 

The next couple days are mostly for relaxing, Ash sleeps in, you and Luke explore all the little shops in the neighborhood, letting Ash get some much needed r&r. 

“C’mon babes.” He says, rousing you and Luke from a very snuggly cuddled position on the couch. “We’re gonna do some shopping in the city.” He says, smacking your ass. You yelp, and slowly push up off of Luke. “Go get changed.” And sends you and Luke off. 

“Hey, I had a question.” Luke says, pulling on a tight pair of black jeans. ‘Mmm’ you hum, turning to him. “The other night, you said something about getting me between you and ash?” 

“Oh, yeah… just like…  you’d be getting fucked by him while you fuck me?” You shrug, picking a lacy bra to pull on. 

“She says so nonchalantly.” He smirks. 

“What? It sounds fun for all of us.” You give him innocent eyes. 

“You sure you can take that?” 

“The goal would be to wreck you.” You move closer to him and rub your hand over his cock. “You in my tight, wet pussy… ash filling you the way you love.” 

He lets out a low groan. “Yeah… yes.” He nods, “let’s do it.” 

You bite your lip, “mmmkay, I’ll talk to ash.” You squeeze him and then finish getting dressed and throw on some makeup. 

When you walk out ahead of Luke, you grin at Ash, “he agreed.” 

It’s actually a long day, a lot of flirting between the three of you, Ash getting you in as much lingerie as possible and you of course showing it off for them, Luke got some new pants that showed off his ass. 

“Lukey’s got a nice Peachy ass, huh daddy?” You smirk in the empty fitting room area as Luke shows them off for the two of you. Ash watches as you cock your head to the side and Luke turns back to you two. 

“Do we like?” He checks. 

“We love, peachy.” You murmur. 

“I like that.” Ash admits. “Peachy. They look good.” 

“That ass don’t quit.” You laugh. 

“No it does not and thank god for it.” Ash laughs.

As Luke’s changing you tug on Ashtons shirt, “can we go home?” You ask quietly, “I’m kinda tired.” 

“Of course babe, you wanna get dinner first or go straight home?” 

“I wanna go straight home.” Luke mentions, standing in front of you two, ready to go. You nod in agreement. 

Ash pulls out his wallet and gives you one of his cards, “you two go check out; and I’ll go order something for delivery.” He hands Luke the few items he was getting and then heads off, while you two head to the registers, card in hand.

“Today was fun.” Luke hums, resting his hand on your back. “Nice to see Ash relaxed.” 

“Yeah, it is. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him so relaxed.” You smile at Luke. 

“I forget there was what now seems like a whole life before you.” He murmurs and looks at you for a minute, then leans in to kiss your forehead. “But we're lucky to have you and we both know it. We’re better with you.” He assures you. You squeeze your arm around Luke’s waist. 

You guys get home as the doorman is leaving the food in the kitchen. Ashton thanks him and tips him and you send Luke to the bedroom with the bags and work on getting plates out. 

“You tryin to have Peachy between us tonight?” You ask. 

“Yeah, if you’re up for it. You said you were tired.” 

“Well… trying to keep up with both of your attention like that was a lot.” You laugh. “And I wanted to get home.” You wink at him, “color preference for the night.” 

“Want you in black.” He nods, “and Yeah, guess we don’t usually tag team you with that much attention.” 

“It’s usually me and you with Luke.” You laugh. 

Ash pulls you into a kiss, “we gotta treat our girl.” He murmurs. 

“Y’all are too good sometimes.” 

“No such thing, I love taking care of the two of you. Now. I want you to go put on something sexy, black, easy to get off, and then throw on one of my t shirts and we’ll get started with dinner, and I’ll start teasing our boy… peachy.” 

You grin and head off, crossing Luke in the hall. “Where are you going?” He asks. 

“Just gonna put on something more comfortable to eat noodles in.” You gesture to your tight jeans. He nods and leaves it be, heading back out to Ash. 

You take your time choosing the right black lingerie. You know your best features and you know what parts make Luke happiest and what makes Ash happiest, and ultimately it didn’t matter, just a means to an end. 

You head back out, swallowed in one of Ashton’s hoodies and take your seat between them. You eat, laughing and making conversation. Very rarely do you have silent moments between the three of you. And then you’re up, “anyone thirsty?” You ask, reaching for a cup. 

“Yeah, let’s do wine though.” Ash mentions, getting up too. He comes up behind you and his hands snake up under the hoodie, first feeling along your panties, “crotchless, nice.” He whispers, and then moving his hands up over your body, bare except the lacy push up bra you’d put on. “Daddy approved baby girl.” He nibbles your ear and then goes for a bottle of wine and you grab the glasses. “What do you guys wanna do tonight?” Ash asks, uncorking the wine. 

“I think there’s already a plan brewing.” Luke smirks at the two of you. “The question you asked, the peek of lace I saw when you sat down, Ash all over you… tonight’s the night? I’m between you?” He asks. 

“Is that what you want peachy?” You ask. 

“I honestly couldn’t think of anything I’d want more.” 

“I was hoping you’d say that baby boy.” Ash grins. “Logistics might be a little weird at first… but let’s clean up and see what we come up with babes.” Ash smirks. 

The bottle of wine makes it to the bedroom, Ash actually grabbed a second. “Want this to be fun, but good.” He admits. 

He kisses you first, pulling you in; and it starts slow. Barely open mouths. His hands slowly move down your body, by the time he grabs your ass, it’s open mouth and lots of tongue. He slowly strips the hoodie off of you. He cups your tits and Luke groans, eyes never leaving the two of you. He holds the back of your neck, kissing you harder before pulling out of the kiss. He slowly turns you toward Luke. “She looks good doesn’t she.” He asks Luke. 

“She always does.” Luke agrees, timidly stepping closer. 

He wasn’t sure if Ash was inviting him, but you reach for Luke and pull him in, “thanks peachy.” You grin into a kiss with Luke. You carefully turn him so he’s between you and Ash. “You want more play baby boy?” You hum against his mouth. 

“Uh-Uh, You fuckers have been teasing me since we got home. I’m fuckin ready.” He growls. 

“Have patience, peachy.” Ashton tsks, grabbing his cock over his jeans. “You have no clue what this is gonna be like.” His other hand gently ghosts over Luke’s neck.” A lot of stimulation.” He pulls his head back for a kiss while you undo Luke’s jeans. “But should be fun… and, you know I love watching you two.” He nibbles on Luke’s ear. Ash pulls Luke’s jeans down, “why don’t you two get started for me?” He asks, gently nudging Luke forward. 

You watch Luke strip, and then he’s scooping his arm behind your back, and pushing you to the bed. He gets you situated on the pillows and leans in for a kiss. “I love having you like this.” He murmurs. 

You push your fingers in his curls and he immediately moves on to exploring your body, hands, lips, anything to drink you in… and then he finds out that your panties are crotchless and his face is immediately between your thighs. 

“Can’t ever resist a chance to eat, can you baby boy?” Ash smirks, coming over and pulling you into a kiss. He unhooks your bra and pulls it off and you suck in a sharp breath when he plays with your tits. 

“This is supposed to be about Luke.” You murmur. 

“It's still about Luke.” He murmurs back, pulling his shirt off. He kneels on the bed, holding you in the kiss. “But you gotta feel good too.” He tangle his fingers in Luke's hair and gently pulls him away from you, “don’t need you too worked up peachy, get her panties off and get in there.” He lets go. 

“So crude.” You smirk, and Luke's scrambling to do as he was asked. You lift your hips as Luke pulls your panties down. Ash works his jeans off while Luke settles between your thigh, pushing his cock in with no warning. “Fuckk peachy.” You whine. 

“You knew  it was coming.” He laughs. 

“Thought you’d give a girl some warning, maybe a kiss.” You smirk. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry baby girl.” He presses his lips to yours, you let out a giggle. 

Ash likes that it’s fun so far, it doesn’t always seem so fun in the bedroom. But he likes all the smiling and giggling that’s going on. 

Luke starts slow and you’re hyper aware of everything Ash is doing. Grabbing the lube, getting naked getting in the bed. “I’m gonna touch you, peachy.” Ash warns. His hand smoothes over Luke’s ass, and Luke's hips stutter and then he just settles against you, but you don’t mind. You tangle your fingers into his hair and kiss him while Ash works on opening him up. “Think you’re ready.” Ash murmurs, 5 minutes later. 

Luke agrees and you watch, him still buried in you, as they work out the logistics and get settled. Luke’s barely holding it together when your thighs are pulled on top of his, with Ash knelt behind him and buried inside as well. His breathing is already shallow and Ash has only pushed in. 

“You ok, peachy?” You ask, reaching up to touch his chest. 

“Yeah…” he sucks in a sharp breath and closes his eyes as Ash slowly pulls his hips back. 

“Daddy filling you so good?” You ask. 

“Yeah…” he barely nods, and Ash’s hips press against his. 

Ash only gives him a couple more slow, shallow thrusts before he’s picking up the pace and it’s having more of an impact on you. He’s holding one if your thighs, and Luke’s hip. Luke’s holding your hand and the headboard and you are trying to touch him in a soothing way. 

Taking Ash was never easy, no matter how many times he’d done it, but it was always worth it. 

“You ok baby?” Ash asks, kissing Luke’s neck. Luke nods, “Mmkay.” The first harder thrust doesn’t do a lot for you, but Luke stopped most of the impact. “Relax peachy, the point is to fuck you both.” He reminds him. 

And Luke does, because the next one gets you, and as they get harder, Ash does more directing. “Rub her clit baby.” He groans, “you feel so fuckin good.” 

When Luke presses his thumb to your clit, you jolt, “fuck fuck fuck fuck.” You moan, “fuck me… fuck us, daddy please.” 

He smirks at you over Luke’s shoulder and then presses another kiss to Luke’s neck, “you ready baby boy? I can feel you’re close, and you know what having your tight ass does to me.” He groans, teeth skimming Luke’s skin. 

“Yeah, yes.” Luke groans, his eyes open and he looks down at you as Ash picks up the pace, fucking him into you. It turns into a mess of moans and skin. “Daddy, fuck… I’m cumming.” Luke barely warns before you feel him start to cum. 

He collapses against your chest and you immediately wrap your arms around him. “So good peachy.” You praise him, kissing his head. You watch as Ash pulls out and starts jerking himself off, quickly finishing on Luke’s back. You pull Luke into a quick kiss. 

And Ash is quickly moving, getting something to clean you up with. He wipes Luke's back, and cleans both of their cocks and finishes cleaning you and Luke up. He collapses on his back in the middle of the bed. “C’mere babes.” He beckons, and you and Luke, lay on either side, cuddling into his chest. Luke’s spent, entirely. It shows on his face and in the way he moves his body. Ash pets his hair and kisses his forehead, and his fingers snake their way between your thighs. You look up at him, and he presses his lips to yours, “you think I didn’t notice you didn’t cum?” He asks. 

“We both noticed.” Luke agrees, throwing his arm across your back. 

“It’s fine, this was about Luke.” You murmur, looking between them. 

“No.” Luke shakes his head and moves closer to kiss you. “You can say it was about me; but it was about all three of us. You’re gonna cum too.” 

“Peachy’s right.” Ash agrees, working his fingers in the slow rhythm you like best with him. You close your eyes and just let him work you, letting out your little whines as Luke leans across Ash’s chest to kiss on your neck and shoulder. 

“Daddy, peachy..” you moan, squeezing around Ash’s fingers. 

“There she is.” Ash grins, letting his fingertips rub gently over your clit a few more times, before pulling his fingers out and holding them up for Luke to lick. 

“This was fun.” Luke murmurs once Ash’s fingers were clean. “Can we do it again sometime?” He settles back next to Ash. 

“Absolutely, if baby girl is down.” Ash agrees.

“Yeah. I’d love that.” You grin.

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gc tags: @sublimehood​ @sugarcoated-pain​ @5sosnsfw​ @angelbabylu​ @aspiringwildfire​ @irwinkitten​ @lashtoncurls​ @myloverboyash​ @singt0mecalum​

masterlist || ashton || calum || luke || michael

wanna be tagged? go here

#daddys home #caught in between #poly!lashton #lashton #ashton irwin #daddy ashton #luke hemmings #wtf luke #love this relationship #let me know what you thought #cass #5sos #5 seconds of summer

[peach-the-owl]

I think you not going to like this,74 and 87. But hear me out. child cries realize that it old group of the child after seeing the remain of child's old group. saying child fault after leaving the old group behind. But for Nein, they tell child the old group give their life to let child live. A burial for old child group, telling old group real goal, is see child a better future with new family they found. Yeah my English not good, but hope you like this. Try Destiny 2 Journey vocal 2 for this

It is done! So, I think I get idea, but I also decided to add in some creative liberties of my own, so to speak, because it’s the spooky season and who doesn’t love trauma! May have overdone it a little, idk but it was a fun ride. I hope it was worth the wait 😁

WARNING: This is gonna get a little graphic

Carry On

Mighty Nein & Child!Reader

74- Why are you crying? 87- It's my fault this happened.

You met the Mighty Nein several months ago when you were but a lone wanderer, concerned for a lost child they took you in hoping to help find your family. You told them that while you were traveling your family had been attacked by a strange looking group of gnolls, at least that’s what you could remember anyways. As you journeyed along you recognized the route you were taking, this was the same road you’d last saw your family and an eerie sense of being watched crept into you.

"We should be careful around here." You say huddling closer to Jester in the cart, she puts an arm around you and gives you a kind smile.

"Hey don’t worry about it, we’re always super careful." You wanted to believe her, but you’ve been with them long enough to know that wasn’t always true. The sound of rustling foliage catches everyone’s attention as these creatures that looked like gnolls jumped out and attacked.

It was like déjà vu, the long track down the road, assurance that things would be just fine, the rustling leaves that lead to an ambush it was exactly like what happened last time. Everyone sprang into action, while you were left in the cart trying to calm yourself, you look over and notice one of these gnolls was staring at you like it knew you somehow. You duck away from view and grab your weapon to defend yourself, the cart shakes as the gnoll jumps onto it and lets loose a cackle, something sounded off from the usual laughs gnolls normally made though. Even stranger is that it doesn’t attack you right away either, instead it grabs ahold of you before you can take a swing at it and covers your mouth to stop you from calling for help, it then proceedes to carry you deeper into the forested area. You can hear the shouts and sounds of battle grow fainter the farther in you go, you struggle and manage to wriggle free of this things grip and book it in the direction you could only assume you came from. Not looking where you’re going you trip on a tree root jutting out of the ground and stumble into a clearing, the area smelled rancid and upon looking around you could tell why. Bodies littered the area some more decayed then others, all of them twisted and mangled into strange positions, you could feel bile raising to your throat and had to physically stop yourself from vomiting.

"Isn’t it a beautiful sight? Such wonderful art." That voice, you knew that voice. Turning your head you see the "gnoll" remove its headpiece revealing a man underneath.

"Mr. Roland? You did this?" It was shocking, horrifying even to think that someone your family had once trusted would do something like this.

"Now don’t fret child, instead why not marvel at my latest masterpiece." He gestures towards something, you fearfully look over eyes widening and body trembling at the sight. Bloody bodies twisted beyond their limits with bones jutting out every which way, dried organs draped around arms and legs like they were fancy decorations, some of their faces were pinned up to look like they were smiling while others still held looks of agony. These people, this "masterpiece" was your family or what remained of them anyways.

"We… we trusted you." The words came out so fast and shaky making you wonder if you even spoke them at all.

"And it was a wonderful choice, just look at how amazing they turned out, in fact I should be thanking you." You give him a confused look. "You see if it wasn’t for your family doing everything they could to help make your escape I wouldn’t have this masterpiece at all. Perhaps I should let you flee again, after all you’ve brought me more people to work with and what a colourful bunch they are too." Your breathing hitched, this was because of you? They were like this because of you, and now the Nein were next… all because of you. Tears streamed down your face, vision blurring as the weight of the situation pressed down on you.

"Oh dear child, why are you crying?" He sounded as though he was mocking you now and as much as you wanted to look away or run you find your body having become unresponsive to your thoughts. When he speaks again his voice sounds as though it’s circling around you from all directions. "Could it be you feel left out? Well if that’s the case… I’ll be happy to have you join them!" You were too distracted to focus on his words or hear the loud thud along with a grunt of pain from behind you.

"Come on kid we gotta go!" Whoever was talking now you couldn't place their voice, still stuck on the horrific imagery that was now burned into your brain, it wasn’t until you felt hands on your shoulders did you finally react with a flinch. The sight of crimson eyes and lavender skin help readjust your focus. "Hey, hey, hey! Look at me kid, there’s no time for that we gotta go, now!" Legs shaking you slowly get up, only to stumble when you try to walk. With a swift motion Molly picks you up and dashes away from the clearing, your breathing was heavy and your head still felt a little hazy after what you just saw but you were still able to focus enough to see Roland give chase after you, a large slash wound across his chest and abdomen. Even with the nasty wound he still managed to gain on you, panic filling every part of your body the closer he got.

"B-be-behind you!" You managed to give a warning and with another swift motion your placed on the ground, hearing the sound of metal clashing before turning to see Molly blocking Roland's attack. You were able to see the road from where you stood but still found it hard to get your body to do what you wanted, feeling as though you frozen in place, so you did the only natural thing left that you could do…

You screamed.

Curling yourself into a ball, squeezing your eyes shut and covering your ears you let out an ear piercing shriek, soon gentle arms pick you up making you once again flinch on reaction but the calming voice that follows eases your worries a bit.

"It’s alright (y/n), you’re going to be okay." Fjord brings you out of the tree line and sets you down into the cart. "Wait here, I’ll be right back." You reach for him as he disappears back into the forest, slowly you lower your arms once again curling up into a ball for any sort of self-comfort, letting tears cascade down your face as the situation fully sinks in.

"It’s my fault this happened. They all died because of me, now I’m gonna lose two families." You sob to yourself thinking only of the worst outcome, so wrapped up in your own world you weren’t sure how much time passed, maybe a minute, maybe an hour you didn’t know anymore. The feeling of something soft and fluffy nudging against you pulls you from those negative thoughts, slowly uncurling yourself to see Frumpkin butting his head against your hand asking for attention. You place the cat onto your lap brushing your hands through his soft fur, looking around your eyes land on Caleb standing a few feet from the cart giving you a empathetic look, had he heard you? It’s not long after the rest of the group emerges from the forest, some of them looking more roughed up then others, most notable being Yasha and Beau.

"So anyone know about that creepy ass clearing?" Beau blurts out, getting a few glares from the party as she realizes her slip of the tongue. "Umm… sorry, the question still stands though."

"M-mr. Roland called it his art." You say it quietly, but still loud enough for them to hear.

"Who’s Mr. Roland?" Jester questions, with a curious tilt of her head. You explain to everyone how he was supposedly a friend to your family, helping with jobs and looking after you and your siblings when your parents couldn’t, and finally how when your family had been attacked several months ago you had thought he was aiding you in the fight.

"No one survived, except for me… they all died because of me." You hug Frumpkin closer to you as fresh tears streamed down your face.

"That’s not true-"

"How do you know!" You shout at Fjord, cutting him off and immediately feeling guilty for doing so, you still continue but softer. "He said it himself that they all died while I was running away."

"They died because you ran away or to help you run away?" You snivel as you think about it again, but it was still hard to focus on your own thoughts. There was, however, one thing on your mind that kept taking priority over all else you just weren’t sure if they’d all agree, better to ask now then never though.

"Can-can I ask you all to do something for me? It’s ok if you don’t wanna, but I was wondering if we could maybe… go back and give them a funeral, or something." As you spoke your words fade to a soft whisper, feeling embarrassed by the request, resorting to hiding your face in the fur of the cat still trapped in your arms. The party talks amongst themselves while you try distracting yourself by playing with Frumpkin's paws.

"Hey." Looking up you see Veth in front of you offering her hand for you to take, so readjusting Frumpkin you take it as she leads you off the cart again and back towards the tree line. While your walking she keeps her hand firmly in yours. "I know this must hard for you, are you really sure you want to go back and see the… aftermath?" Was it not for the situation you’d find it almost funny how despite being about the same height she still acts very motherly to you, or maybe it wasn’t that funny at all, either way you knew what you wanted to be done.

"I’m sure, I don’t want them to be left here as a crazy mans 'art project' they don’t deserve that and I…" You pause, the words catching in your throat. Veth gives you a few gentle squeezes for reassurance to continue, after a minute you find your words again. "I want say goodbye properly. Is that dumb, does that sound dumb?"

"No no, it’s not dumb at all, in fact that’s very brave of you. Some grownups don’t even have the nerve to say goodbye, so just know I’m proud of you for that." You give her a small but genuine smile. By now you had made it back to the clearing, and with some deep breaths you step into it see the rest of the Nein having already dug some holes in the ground to act as graves. The bodies of your family and other poor victims who fell prey to Roland already being placed in some, Caduceus being the one instructing everyone on the proper procedures. It took a few hours so by the time they finished burying the bodies the sky had turned to dusk.

"Is there anything you’d like to say?" Caduceus asks you softly, as if his words could shatter you if he wasn’t careful. You open your mouth but find it to be a struggle to think of something to say now, having been put on the spot in front of everyone trying to force any sort of sound out to no luck. Your face slowly turns red at the feeling of embarrassment that washes over you.

"I have something to say to them if that is alright with you." Caleb says, looking to you as if to ask permission, you tilt your head a little in confusion but nod. He steps forward and clears his throat. "I may not have known them, but if (y/n) is an example of their kindness and acceptance of others, then I can understand why they would do anything to keep them alive." He turns and gives you a gentle smile, you faintly return it.

"It always hurts to lose someone you love, but if I can learn not to let that chain me down and accept love from others again then you can too." Yasha surprised you with her sweet words but there was something uplifting about them that you couldn’t help but raise your smile at.

"My turn! Ok… may the Traveler bless your souls for sending us this sweet little child to call our own, ummm… that’s all I got." Jester pipes in, bringing a sort of joy to cut down the lingering tension, it almost makes you giggle.

"As a mother, I know I’d happily give my life again to protect Luc knowing that he’s still alive and will carry on my legacy." Veth says, almost reminestantly. It made you slowly realize that maybe your family did the same so you could carry on their legacy too, if that’s the case then you’d accept it.

"I do believe the kid's made things more lively since they joined and I for one wouldn’t want to trade that for the world." Maybe not as heartfelt of a speech as the others, but you honestly expected nothing less from Molly, he even struts over to you and ruffles your hair earning a small laugh from you.

"Wait, are we taking turns? Uhh… it’s been nice having someone to look out for and teach the ways of the world to, it always feels like we have a purpose even when we feel useless." Fjord stumbled over his words a little, not fully expecting everyone to contribute but found his grounding at the end, his and everyone’s words so far having helped raise you spirits more and more.

"Ummm… look I’m not really good at this emotional stuff but I’m glad your here with us." Like Molly, Beau's little speech wasn’t all that heartfelt but her words were genuine and that’s all you could ask for.

"You all did amazing, I’m proud." Caduceus says, he then gently places his hands on the ground and casts Decompose while muttering a prayer of safe passage for the deceased to the Wildmother. The area quickly sprouting various fungus’ and some (favourite flower/s) the clearing becoming a beautiful patch of nature once again from the horror show that it once was. You are then brought into a group hug, a warm feeling of true belonging coming over you.

"I’m really happy I found you." Tears slide down your cheeks, but no longer ones of sorrow, these were tears of joy.

"We’re glad we found you too."

#critical role #critical role & reader #mighty nein #the mighty nein #mighty nein & reader #jester lavorre #jester & reader #nott the brave #nott & reader #caleb widogast #caleb & reader #caduceus clay #caduceus & reader #fjord #fjord stone #fjord & reader #beauregard lionett #beauregard & reader #yasha nydoorin #yasha & reader #mollymauk tealeaf #mollymauk & reader #nothing romantic here