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#six of crows imagine
thesuntomyshadows · 2 days
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Kaz: *Discussing the plan with the others*
Jesper: *Flicks something at Y/N*
Y/N: *Flicks it back*
Jesper: *Flicks it again*
Y/N: *Flicks it back again trying not to laugh*
Kaz: *Brings his hand down between them* Four-year-olds. We’re trying to have a serious discussion and I’m dealing with four-year-olds.
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rubysunnday · 1 year
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blood on your lies
summary: four times Y/N got injured and the one time kaz did
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"How many fingers?"
"I didn't hit my eyes."
"How many, Y/N?"
Y/N sighed. She squinted slightly. "Four?"
Kaz narrowed his eyes. "Three."
Y/N pursed her lips but didn't move. Her vision kept swimming in and out of focus. Sometimes Kaz and his concern disguised as displeasure was clear and then a moment later, he was just a black blob.
"I'm -"
"If the next word out your mouth is 'fine', I will deduct your wages for this job and hit you with my cane," Kaz warned, raising his eyebrows an inch.
Y/N wanted to argue. She hated appearing weak in front of Kaz. He was the one person she constantly strived to impress and being injured, again, whilst on a job with him was not what she wanted.
She tried to stand up, putting her hands against the wall behind her, intent on using it to push her up.
"No."
A gloved hand pushed down on her shoulder, forcing her to sit back down on the cobble stones. Y/N relented, her head already swimming. She closed her eyes, swallowing back the bile and trying to breath through the nausea building in her throat.
"You can't go to sleep."
Y/N sighed. She opened her eyes, squinting slightly at the light glowing just behind Kaz.
Kaz's eyes narrowed a fraction and he readjusted his weight, moving to block the light with his body.
"I can't sit on the cobbles all night, Kaz," Y/N muttered, bringing a hand to her head and shielding her eyes.
"Jesper will be along soon," Kaz replied, glancing down at his shoes, inspecting them one at a time. "Then when we get back, you're going to rest -"
" - but Kaz -"
" - and not go on any jobs for a few days," Kaz finished, ignoring her. He raised his gaze from his shoes, focusing on her. "You are allowed to be injured. It doesn't make you any less of a Crow."
Y/N, surprised by Kaz's sudden honesty, nodded, silent. Her eyes began to burn and she harshly wiped them, breathing out shakily.
"Ah, Jesper!" Kaz said, turning to face up the street. "Y/N has a concussion."
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It was early afternoon which meant the Crow Club was almost silent. Kaz was sat downstairs on the main floor, his papers and books strewn across a booth table. He didn't need to write down the numbers, but he did, just in case anything happened.
It was only because Kaz was sat downstairs, and not in his office, that he heard the almighty bang, followed by a thud, that came from the basement.
He paused, pen hovering over the parchment. There was a groan of pain and whoever was downstairs muttered, "fucking cupboard".
"Y/N?" Kaz called, setting his pen down. "Did you get into a fight with a cupboard?"
Y/N emerged at the top of the stairs leading to the basement. "I walked into a cupboard," she corrected, her voice muffled as she pressed her hand to her her nostrils. Her fingers came away, tinged with red, and she swore.
"Sit down before you bleed on my floor," Kaz said, easing himself out of his seat. "Tilt your head forward, not backwards."
Y/N followed his advice, sitting down in a chair and tilting her head forward. She pinched her nose, just above her nostrils, and held her hand under her nose, catching the blood that dripped down.
A white handkerchief was thrusted into her vision. Y/N blindly took it, pressing it to her nose.
"Don't forget to breathe," Kaz said, his voice coming from somewhere in front of her.
Y/N raised her eyes and she could just see Kaz's shoes, standing in front of her. "I cannot believe I walked into a cupboard."
"You didn't see it coming?"
Y/N lifted her head, looking at Kaz. "Did you just make a joke?"
Kaz's shoulders moved in what looked like a shrug. "I'm actually hilarious, do you not know that, Y/N?"
Y/N huffed out a laugh, lowering her head one again. "My deepest apologies, sir."
Kaz's lips curled up into a smile.
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Kaz woke with a start, his mind racing. A quick look around told him that his was no longer inside the building they'd entered. Instead he were outside, lying on the street.
As Kaz sat up, he became aware of how damp the back of his jacket had become, the sensation sending shivers throughout his body as memories came flooding back.
The wet jacket clinging to his back as he stumbled ashore. How it dragged him down, taunting him to let go and sink back under. Jordie.
Jordie suddenly morphed into Y/N and Kaz sat up, looking around the street for any sign of her. He put a hand on the ground, bracing himself to stand up, when he felt a hand brush his. Or he brushed the hand, Kaz wasn't sure.
The contact sent him back to the cobbles but, as Kaz turned his head, he realised it was just Y/N.
She looked serenely peaceful, lying there on the ground, her arms outstretched slightly. Kaz watched her for a moment, waiting to see the comforting sight of her chest rising and falling. It took a moment for his eyes to focus but when they did, he could see her breathing.
Some part of him relaxed.
Kaz pushed himself up onto his knees and crawled to Y/N's side. Swallowing back the panic and the urge to run away, he leant over her, one hand braced on the cobbles on the other side of Y/N, whilst the over reached up.
His hand hovered over her face for a moment. It shook. Kaz breathed in deeply. He put his hand against her cheek, his thumb moving up and down for just a second.
Kaz bought his hand back and moved it down to her shoulder, shaking her as hard as he dared. "Y/N. Y/N, come on, wake up."
Y/N's head slowly moved to the side as Kaz shook her, the orange light from the street lamp above casting shadows across her face. Kaz shook her again, hard this time. He was feeling water rising around him.
"Y/N!" He yelled and, before he could even think, he slapped her.
Y/N inhaled sharply and groaned, sitting up as quickly as she could, hands blindly reaching out to grip whoever had slapped her. Kaz let her grip his hand, let her realise it was him, and then pushed her back.
"What the fuck, Brekker!" Y/N exclaimed, falling back onto her elbows. "What was that for!"
"We have no time to sleep," Kaz said, wincing slightly as he awkwardly clambered to his feet. He was trying not to show his earlier panic and opting for despair and irritation seemed best.
Y/N groaned again, lying back on the floor, closing her eyes. "I have no idea what happened."
"We triggered something in that room," Kaz replied, looking around for his cane. "Knocked us both out. Then we were dragged and dumped out here."
"How long for?"
"Half an hour," Kaz said, still looking. "Ish."
"Ish? Kaz Brekker just said ish, I must be dreaming," Y/N muttered.
Kaz picked his cane up off the floor - it'd been next to his foot the entire time - and turned back to Y/N. Silently, he held out a gloved hand to her.
Y/N, still disorientated and confused, reached up and grabbed his hand, letting him pull her to her feet, without even realising what had just happened.
"What now?"
"We break back in," Kaz said, already making his way down the street. "Come on!"
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The boats in the harbour bobbed about as a wave rolled in and sloshed up against the stone walls. They were mid mission - at the most important stage.
And Y/N couldn't breathe.
She'd been pushed down a staircase earlier on in the day, when the mission had just begun. Whilst Inej had taught her how to fall, it hadn't saved her ribs from hitting the edge of the stone steps.
Once the initial pain had faded, Y/N had managed to keep going. She rejoined the group, got assigned a new task by Kaz, and was on her way to do it when she'd breathed in just a little too much.
The pain had flared up until she couldn't stand. Y/N had perched herself on the harbour wall and had sat there since, trying to get control of her pain.
"I don't recall sending you here."
Y/N didn't even have the energy to acknowledge Kaz. She lifted her head, noted him standing in front of her, and dropped it again.
Pain was coursing through her body and Y/N could feel the tears burning her eyes. Tears of frustration and of pain.
"You okay?"
Y/N forced herself to straighten up, to look at Kaz. She breathed in, felt something twinge, and her shoulders shook as she felt the tears spill over.
"Try and breathe through it," Kaz said quietly, his cane hitting the floor once as he moved closer, leaning against the harbour wall beside Y/N. "I get its hard, but try."
Y/N tried to, forcing herself to breathe beyond the pain. Her nails dug into the harbour wall, the stones digging into her palm.
"When I first broke my leg, the pain nearly consumed me," Kaz said, his words almost lost to the wind. "It's hard, when it gets bad, to think beyond it."
"I." Y/N paused. "I tried to cope." She squeezed her eyes shut. "But it got too bad... and then I couldn't breathe."
Kaz's blazer sleeve brushed against her arm. "Nina is near by."
"No, she's busy."
Kaz dug his hand into his pocket, pulling out a small metal tin. He flipped the lid open and picked two white circular tablets out. "Here."
Y/N held her hand out and Kaz dropped them into her hand. "What's this?"
"Drugs," Kaz replied, smirking. "The good kind."
Y/N tried her best not to laugh, but her smile grew. "Thanks."
She put them in her mouth, grimacing slightly at the awful taste in her mouth as they began to dissolve. Kaz held out a flask and Y/N took it, swallowing the tablets with what she'd expected to be alcohol but was actually water.
"When it gets bad and I have to keep going," Kaz said quietly, taking the flask back, "I take those. It doesn't get rid of the pain but it helps."
Y/N turned her head, her eyes settling on his. "Thank you."
Kaz just nodded.
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Blood was spilling out onto her hands as she pressed the bandage to Kaz's shoulder, trying to staunch the blood. Kaz was sat on the stone tomb, his head lolling to the side, hitting Y/N's arm every so often.
"You still with me?" Y/N asked, pushing her hands harder against his shoulder, the blood dripping down her arms.
"Ahuh," Kaz muttered, his eyes still shut.
Y/N knew he was battling with himself and his mind and didn't take his grumpiness and silence personally.
Her hands were trembling as she pulled the bandage away from his shoulder for a moment, checking to see if the blood had stopped or not.
"How did you get shot?" Y/N asked softly, pressing the bandage back to his shoulder.
Kaz stilled. Y/N squeezed his shoulder, the blood still running, and he breathed in sharply, coming back.
"He was aiming for you," Kaz said quietly, his voice hoarse. "At your... head."
Y/N froze. She took her hands from Kaz's shoulder, happy that the bleeding had stopped. The cloth dropped to the tomb. Y/N stepped back, standing in front of Kaz, her knees brushing his.
"Is that why you pushed me?"
Kaz nodded stiffly. "Didn't expect to get shot, however."
"Don't think anyone does."
"Unless they see the gun pointed at them," Kaz quipped.
Y/N smiled. Her leg brushed against Kaz's and she was surprised when he didn't flinch. He raised his head, gazing up at her. Y/N, for once, didn't fight the urge. She reached out and gently combed her bloody fingers through his hair. Kaz leant forward, resting his head against her stomach.
"I can stop," Y/N said softly.
Kaz nodded against her. "I know."
She let her fingers run down to his neck, never straying further than where his collar sat.
"We're okay, Kaz," Y/N whispered, leaning her head down to rest on top of his. "We're okay."
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ashessonfire · 1 year
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Hello, i have a potential kaz x reader request for you!! I, for some reason, love the idea of a very soft/domestic kaz moment with reader who isn’t involved in the crime life. So what about y/n being married to kaz and for some reason she makes her way down to the crow club (maybe someone broke into the house or something) and kaz is extreamly confused and concerned and the rest if the crows are like "andddd who are you?"
if you don't feel it, feel free to ignore!
'Intruder' - Kaz Brekker x reader
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Prompt - Kaz is a highly secretive man, even to his closest friends, but what happens when a panicked citizen rushes into the Crow Club demanding his presence? It could even suggest that he had the ability to love. - Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Civilian!Reader (Gender neautral)(married for at least a few years but not specified) - Warnings: Thief enters readers house, brief mention of fighting and injury, a knife?? Kaz just being super soft for you! <333 PART TWO NOW POSTED! (click here) - A/N: Thank you for ALL the love on the last post, and my first fic ever! I hope this does just as well and its enjoyed too. I know its not as fluffy as maybe expected but i really like how it turned out. PLEASE KEEP REQUESTING!!(some moonknight coming soon) <3333
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The chilling wind of Ketterdam rushed past your face, adding to your already watering eyes that couldn’t stop frantically searching around for further threats.
You had been enjoying a quiet morning, browsing the market, drinking tea with friends, and even finding a new hat for Kaz. All was serene, until you turned the lock in the front door, only to be confronted by a menacing figure, knife gripped in one hand, Kaz’s favourite (and most expensive) tea set in the other.
A small gasp escaped you, before your mind took control, rushing forward to land a harsh blow directly on the figure’s nose, just at the right angle like Kaz had demonstrated.
He let out a murderous scream whilst dropping the tea set onto the ground, the shattering of the pieces echoing in your heart and mind. However, this granted you enough time to grab the edge of his jacket and pull him through the doorframe, using every ounce of your strength.
He stumbled down the steps of the small apartment, loosing his footing and falling rapidly, landing brutally on the cobblestone street below and roaring in pain as a jolting crack resounded from where he landed.
Without thinking, you scrambled inside, bolted the door, and ran as fast as you possibly could out of the side entrance, internally crying as your boots struggled through the remains of your husband's most beloved item.
As you struggled through the tight alleyway, you prayed that the Stadwatch had noticed the commotion and apprehended the man. As you bolted down the poorly lit streets of the barrel, thoughts of terror began plaguing your mind.
What if Kaz hadn’t taught you to defend yourself? What if you had reacted too slowly? Would Kaz be angry with you for not finishing the job? How would ‘Dirtyhands’ react to your utter horror at one intruder?
You were abruptly ripped from your thoughts by the unmistakable image of a crow, hanging magnificently above the crowded street. Pushing your way through the crowd, you suppressed the nerves rising in your chest, threatening to choke you, as you entered the crow club for the first time.
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The unmistakable smell of alcohol and smoke clouded your senses immediately, as crowds of ‘pigeons,’ as Kaz may call them, wandered around the floor without a care for others around them.
As frightening as the previous events had been, you didn’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by this too, shoving your violently shaking hands into your pockets to stop the visible nerves from showing.
Jesper and Wylan sat in close proximity at the bar edge, as far from the yelling and cheering of the customers as they possibly could. Your gazed locked onto the face of the tall Zemeni man, thinking back to the hundreds of times Kaz’s mask had slipped, and he had spoken fondly of his best friend.
Despite Kaz’s firm objection to verbal communication, he often fell victim to your warmth and comfort, his affections for his crew spilling into casual conversation, almost subconsciously. Of course, the Bastard of the Barrel couldn’t hold onto something as weak as friendship. However, this meant that you were very familiar with each of his ‘crows,’ despite never officially meeting any of them.
Mustering all the courage you could, you sucked in a sharp breath, preparing yourself for the challenging journey to your last hope at finding him.
You weaved your way cautiously between the rowdy groups, dodging drunken gestures and swinging arms, until you reached the pair sat at the bar, panic spreading through your body like wildfire. You made note to keep your hands firmly tucked within the safety of your jacket, in a feeble attempt to keep up a façade of confidence.
As their gazes turned towards you, you gently cleared your throat in the hopes of removing any indication of fright, and in turn, weakness from your voice.
“I’m looking for Kaz? Kaz Brekker?” you stuttered out, eyes darting around to avoid the quizzical gazes of the two men in front of you. Under different circumstances you wished to have met them when your usual air of joy blanketed not only you, but all of those who encountered you too. Yet it seemed like the Saints weren't on your side for that wish today.
You were snapped back from your thoughts, as they glanced at each other, sharing an unspoken but clear sense of bewilderment between them at your odd request. Often drunken pigeons, or rough street urchins would request to see the boss, but it wasn’t a common sight to see a regularly dressed citizen in such a state demanding an audience with Mr Brekker himself.
“I’m afraid it’s pretty difficult to get a meeting with the boss, always busy you know?” spoke the man you assumed to be Jesper, in a kind but skeptical tone, swirling the drink in his hand as he failed to decipher the reason for your visit.
Panic began to claw its way deeper into your chest, as you quickly blurted out “Please, its important, I need to see Kaz. Please bring me to see him.” The sudden outburst once again surprised the men, however Wylan’s gaze softened at the clear desperation on your features, and Jesper’s confusion morphed into something that resembled pity.
Wylan subtly leaned into Jesper, whispering “I think you should take her, she seems pretty desperate?” causing Jesper to let out a sigh before meeting your gaze yet again.
Reluctantly, Jesper stood up, stretching his limbs well, before letting out a dramatic sigh, followed by a feigned annoyance at the request, analyzing you for a moment before stating, “Let’s go see the boss then.”
He quickly turned back to you, flashing a lopsided, yet winning grin, which put to rest some of the bubbling anxiety that was becoming inescapable. As you ascended the stairs to his office, a skeptical looking woman glanced curiously up at the three of you, hopping out of her chair to trail behind you, whilst stuffing the remains of what looked like a waffle into her mouth.
Before you could inquire about the third individual following your small group, you were suddenly met with the dark oak door of Kaz Brekker’s office. Jesper shot another reassuring grin back at you, as he rapidly knocked on the office door and let himself in before an answer called out.
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The instant you saw your husband, the tears glossed over your eyes, shining with a dangerous threat of escaping. However, to your surprise, you were able to win the valiant battle for a little longer.
You knew how vital it was for your husband to keep his personal life separated from his work life; one wrong move, and you could end up in the hands of another gang, tortured in exchange for information on the Dregs. This knowledge was what kept you from barreling towards his desk without a second thought, with even the smallest slip from Jesper potentially ruining every bit of yours and Kaz’s struggle to break down his walls.
Kaz sat at his desk at the centre of the bleak room, a faint patch of light hitting his face from a glowing street lantern, casting deep shadows across his sharp features. His shoulders tensed as he remained solely focused on the blueprint in front of him, his harsh glare at the sheet almost seemed as if he was planning to murder it. Perhaps if you weren’t so shaken you may have let out a soft laugh at his pure concentration.
“What is it? I have no time for irrelevant interruption, this marksheet needs to be completed before twelve bells tonight,” A sharp voice suddenly cut through the thick silence. Jesper cleared his throat before confronting his boss, shifting his weight between each foot at the temper that Kaz was evidently displaying.
“Well, you see, I was sitting downstairs with Wylan at the bar, when all of a sudden…” Jesper started, but was cut off by a deadly look from Kaz to get to the point. As his gaze shot upwards towards the sharpshooter, he finally noticed the second figure in the room and his heart plummeted.
Why were you here?
Kaz’s mind began spinning, grasping for any logical reason as to why you were in the one of the most dangerous staves of the Barrel, requiring his assistance.
An identical panic to yours seized his chest as he inspected your state, your hair was windswept, eyes glossed over and glinting with a touch of fear, a visible shake to your arms and legs, which he had been fortunate enough to never experience until now.
You looked utterly terrified.
A single murderous look was enough for Jesper to throw his hands up in defense, and saunter quietly out of the room, glancing curiously back at the two of you as he shut the door. Jesper thought to himself that his life in the long run would be far more valuable than the price of his curiosity now.
Although Kaz is a man of few words, he seemed truly speechless, barely managing to register his own steps as he moved slowly towards you, each limp bringing his comfort closer and closer to you. Once he had reached your figure, he noticed you had curled in on yourself, hands clasped firmly together in front of you, and eyes darting rapidly around his face, searching for something, as it appeared to him.
He slowly reached towards you, and with a gloved hand, tenderly unwound your fingers from their iron grip, instead intertwining them with his own to bring you comfort and slow your light but swift breathing. Kaz remained tight-lipped, words rushing through his head, yet not formulating into any combination which he thought would be appropriate to calm you down.
He gazed intensely into your eyes, softening with each moment as he took in your shaken state, something that was rare due to his exceptional ability to keep you away from his violent life.
Until now.
Yet you had taught him not to run anymore when he encounters challenges, leading him to battle his mind later, and care for you in the present. Plus, you had the courage to make your way through the barrel in this condition, the least he could do was give you his everything.
You released a long, shaky sigh, staring only at Kaz’s chest now in order to match your breaths, imagining that your hearts were beating together too. You knew Kaz was struggling to find a grip within his thoughts, fingers twitching against your own as his body worked overtime, in a way it only did for you.
Several minutes passed in a strange silence, as the pair of you basked in each other's presence, the close distance allowing both of you to be assured the other is safe and within reach, yet the tension and anxiety still buzzed through the air.
“Someone broke in, I’m not sure who or from where. Tried to steal your favorite tea set, you know the one you brought back from Ravka once? I hit him square like you said. But it, but it boke. Shattered actually. It gave me enough time to run, but I don’t know. He may have followed or…” you suddenly burst out, the emotions flowing out of you through your words, and soon to follow were the tears.
You were cut off in your rambling however, as a feather-light kiss graced your temple, drawing you into a pool of warmth, suddenly able to feel the heat of the fire and the glow of the candles that surrounded Kaz’s office, likely gifts of yours.
Although Kaz’s voice was hardened, you knew he was holding back significantly to soothe you, building up wrath to unleash on the unfortunate man who entered your house earlier. The claws of the anxiety released their hold on you, allowing you to breathe deeply for the first time in hours.
“I’m here, darling, and you don’t need to think about that anymore,” he eventually breathed out, “I'll take care of it. I promise. I promise you,” he whispered against your forehead, again leaving the faintest outline of a kiss on the soft skin.
Whilst he was nowhere near healed, over the years you had opened up his deepest wounds and started to stitch them up, with each moment the pain easing ever so slightly. Direct touches were now common, with light pecks, or hand holding being Kaz's most favored actions.
Sometimes if you were lucky, you could get a short kiss on the lips, or a long hug through the safety of many layers; each being evident signs of his love for you, and how you were truly the only one to crack the code to the Bastard of the Barrel's heart.
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Kaz didn’t leave your side for the remainder of the night, bringing you anything you asked for, sitting the armchair closer to his desk to keep him company, hands held tightly until he deemed it safe enough to escort you home.
Wrapping you warmly with his largest coat, he gently placed his best hat atop your head, offering a small smile and breathy laugh as it tilted at an angle. Looking up to meet his gaze, you returned the grin, smile spreading to your eyes and cheeks. Kaz carefully adjusted the edges of the coat to obscure your face, being thorough in the process to avoid any identification of who was accompanying him.
As the door clicked open, and the pair stepped into the hallway, pinkies interlinked, a group of three snooping crows barreled backwards, hitting into each other and the walls. Kaz sent a deathly glare at each of them, as they stood in shock at the sight before them, Jesper gasping, Wylan gaping with fright, and Nina's smirk widening by the second.
After a series of extreme threats hurled at the group outside his office, Kaz pushed past them and dragged you with him, turning his coat collar upwards to hide the growing embarrassment colouring his face.
He crushed the feeling down, instead turning to his internal plotting to enact revenge on your behalf, inwardly smirking at the image of the man begging him for mercy as he pays for his offence in blood.
Meanwhile, Nina stood grinning to herself, proud of her newfound knowledge which she was certain she could use against Kaz at some point soon. Because from that office, she not only heard the hammering heart of the poor citizen girl, but also the one of a love-struck gang leader too.
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 2 months
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Cause it’s you
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a/n what the hell is it with Kazzle Dazzle that always makes me write a full ass story inside of a simple little blurb… chokehold.
request: kaz brekker x reader one bed trope on a heist 🙏🙏
warning: blood, injuries, touch aversion, one bed.
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Kaz was tired. Bone deep tired. That kind of tired that made you drag your legs through the pavement. His cane was taking most of his weight tonight, and truthfully, Kaz was ready for the day to end. And end as soon as possible. “So… Who’s going in to buy the rooms?” Jesper let out a painful breath. His ribs had to be black and blue by now. He did cover for most of the team during the job, and the way he was leaning on Wylan clearly showed that the adrenaline was wearing off.
“I would, but if I moved even the slightest, they would see blood all over my dress," Nina’s sugary, venomous voice shouted as she glared at Kaz, clearly still annoyed that her perfect dress, not to mention that Kaz bought the said dress, was ruined because of the job gone slightly wrong. Inej didn’t even move from her shadows. She and Kaz had a falling out while the pack trotted through the damp streets, and neither wanted to let go of their grudges.
“I’ve got it, guys," you said softly, catching everyone’s attention. “We all need a hot bath and a good night's sleep." You rested your hand on Nina’s shoulder as you peeked out of the alley. “Flirt your way through it," Jesper whispered. “Get us extra perks, please." The rest of the team snickered quietly.
You were about to respond when Kaz’s cane blocked your way. “No one is flirting, and you’re not going alone." His voice was way sharper than he usually used when he was talking to you. “I can handle myself, boss," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Yeah, but a lady alone in the shithole like this... Would be too suspicious," Kaz breathed, stepping out and looking back at you.
A couple of hours later, you were finally drying your hands after patching everyone up. Girls had jumped into sharing a room and had walked you out while wiggling eyebrows that you greeted with a middle finger. Wylan was, of course, sharing with Jasper, who had been complaining about the single beds ever since he stepped foot into the room, so you had helped Wylan push them against one another.
It’s not like you hadn’t shared rooms with Kaz. You two grew up together in the slums. You were the one to pull him out of the water when he finally floated to the shore. He had his ever-going addenda of pushing you away ever since, but you had always stuck around. You had always tried to be his voice of reason. "Shit," you muttered once you flicked the light on. “No, no, no," you breathed out, rushing forward. This had to be a joke. What were the odds of getting three rooms and one of them having a double bed? Maybe you could pull them apart; maybe there were two. You yanked the duvet covers off. Fingers searching for a split in the mattress.
“What did that poor bed do to you?" A voice from behind you startled you, making you lose your footing and go face-first into the covers. “Great now, street grime is all over the sheets," he grumbled. “Well, if you weren’t sneaking behind my back, this wouldn’t have happened," you huffed, climbing off the plush sheets. “It’s my room," Kaz breathed out. Your gaze found him as you narrowed your eyes, “Our room, you mean?”.
He held your gaze. Strong. Unmoving. “I’ll take the chair," he muttered under his breath, stepping deeper into the room and starting to undo his jacket. “Like hell you will, your legs will be killing you tomorrow," you huffed, bending to undo your shoes. “And your shoulder won’t?”, Kaz huffed. “Speaking of which," his movements halted as he turned to face you. “Stand up and undo your shirt," he motioned with his hand. You raised an eyebrow at him. “Kaz Brekker, you’re trying to get me naked?”, you teased. Kaz simply tilted his head to the side, his face emotionless. Before he stepped closer, “You have two choices," he said quietly. “Enlighten me," you muttered under your breath. “You take it off willingly, or I will cut it off your body." You could feel his breath on your skin, making a shiver run down your back. “It’s nothing," you breathed. “Prove it," he dared you.
You held his gaze in silence. You knew that it was probably more than bad. You could barely lift your hand, and your shoulder blade was throbbing. It was almost funny how not the fact that you had to strip in front of him made you anxious but the fact that he would see you weak. You hated being vulnerable. When you finally clawed out of the street, you had sworn to never be vulnerable again. And Kaz hated weak investments. He didn’t do deals that weren’t beneficial to him. And now you...
You felt the cold metal tip of his cane slip between the two buttons right in between your breasts. "Hey," you jerked back, turning away from him. “Show me that fucking shoulder, YN," Kaz practically growled. “Or, I’ll...”. But he didn’t get to finish as your hands clumsily moved to undo the handful of buttons until you were practically panting from the panic cursing through your veins. Turning back to him, you yanked the dirty fabric from your body. "Happy," you hissed.
Kaz clenched his jaw. He didn’t even allow himself to blink as he looked at the crusted, angrily red cut and a handful of bruises littering your skin. He forced himself to put them all into his memory. Because this was all his doing. All his games had gotten you hurt. “Wipe those fucking tears off your cheeks," he huffed harshly. Too harshly, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn’t. Physically couldn’t watch you cry. It felt as if someone was carving out his chest. Your shaky hands clumsily wiped the damp patches beneath your eyes.
“You got out. We both did," Kaz muttered because he knew the demons that were clouding your brain now. He had met them too. You nodded. Wrapping your hands around your torso, it only just now hit him that you were standing in front of him topless. Kaz turned around so quickly that he nearly gave himself a whiplash before muttering, “Go, take a bath.”.
Your fingers were crinkling from the time you had spent laying in that hot water. You had hurried off the moment Kaz dismissed you. You knew he would never take advantage of you. And that bodies in general made him uncomfortable, but the way he had turned away from you. As if you were the most ugly creature that he had seen. Now your only salvation was that he might just be asleep by the time you stepped out of the bathroom.
Kaz, however, was far from sleeping. He had lost count of how many times he had walked up to the bathroom door to listen that you were still rustling around. He had lost his jacket and gloves. His hair was messy from all the pulling he has done. The slow turning of the key made him look up. Your hair was done up and still damp. Feet bare. You looked so small, like this. And that deep desire to keep you safe shifted gears without him even realizing it.
“You’re not asleep," you muttered, barely meeting his eyes. “It looks like I’m not," Kaz said quietly. There was no one else whom Kaz trusted the way he trusted you, yet here you two were as if you hadn’t spent the majority of your lives together. “Did you fix your shoulder?” Kaz asked, clearly stalling. You nodded, and he followed suit. “Then get into bed," "Kaz," you huffed. “I didn’t ask," he said, narrowing his eyes at you. You wanted to fight him, but you simply didn’t have enough energy to do so, “And you?”.
You saw something glistening in his eyes for a heartbeat before he swallowed, “I..." and let out a labored breath. “You can also lay down," you muttered. “I will keep to my side; we can put pillows in between." There was a note of hopefulness in your voice. One that held Kaz in a chokehold. “Lay down, woman," he said through gritted teeth. But you caught it. There was that part of him that he hid. So you wasted no time, doing right as he said.
He watched your every move. Watched your frame disappear between the sheets. Only then did Kaz step closer, his breathing hitching in his chest. The tide was rising. threatening to swallow him whole. “Kaz...”, and here it was with that same velvety voice. One that always pulled him right out. Chasing away all of his fears. He blinked a couple of times only to meet your beautiful eyes looking right at him.
“Close your eyes," he breathed, making you frown. “I didn’t know that you getting into bed was such a big secret," you teased. Kaz felt the corners of his lips turning upwards. "Smartass," he whispered under his breath as he swung his legs over the mattress. And for some reason, this didn’t feel too bad. It didn’t seem all that scary now that he was in bed. With you. You. It was because of you. Kaz turned his head to the side, watching you watch him. And for the first time, he let himself look. Not only look, actually see you. And fuck if you weren’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
“You’re okay?”, you muttered, your fingers slowly moving toward the center of the bed. Kaz watched them getting closer, but he didn’t feel like stopping you. “When am I not okay when I’m with you?" A light gasp left your lips at his words, your lips disappearing between your teeth. “Don’t do that," he grumbled, his fingers only lifting and grazing yours, and you instantly pulled them away. Not wanting to cross his boundaries. "Sorry," you shook your head. “Not your fingers," Kaz protested. “Your lip," he pointed out, making you frown. “What about it?” You brushed your fingers over it, trying to see if you had bitten too hard and drawn blood. “Because if you’ll continue to do it, I’ll...", Kaz swallowed. “I might lose my restraint in holding back." And then he reached out, his shaky fingers brushing over your plump lips. It took all the self-control you had to not whimper at the touch. Savoring the way his fingers felt, you only let your eyes close for a second, and then there was nothing. As if you had imagined it. You had barely caught Kaz practically jumping out of bed. Reaching for his jacket and cane. "Kaz," you breathed, pushing the covers off your body. But your plea was met with a slam of the door.
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undiscovered-horizon · 11 months
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"Four Crow Investigation II: Lovebirds' Outfox" - Kaz Brekker x Reader
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[Four Crow Investigation]
☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾
Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi
SUMMARY: Nina and the rest of "crow-vestigators" are not as inconspicuous as they think. Being a little too spiteful for your own good, Kaz and you string them along. What the amateur detectives consider "evidence" of an affair is actually a well-thought-out scenario.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.1k
>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<
You stare with amusement as Wylan, Jesper, Inej and Nina are sitting around the table in a hardly inconspicuous manner. They’re leaning so close to each other, their bodies are covering their faces but you don’t need to read their lips or expressions to know exactly what they’re talking about. Meaningful glances, small nudges, animated whispering - none of that escaped your attention.
Then, you feel Kaz squeezing your hand in an attempt to shift your focus from the gossiping friends back to him. His eyebrows are slightly raised in a silent question.
"Do you think they know that we know that they know?" you ask, cringing at the word salad filled with repetitions.
"No," Kaz answers without hesitation. "Considering how long it took them to notice something so obvious, their observation skills are more underwhelming than I had originally thought."
The two of you glance towards your friends once more, left to only guess what tall tales they were making up. Observation skills, Kaz’s voice resounds in your head. Yes, they are good at noticing things they are desperately looking for, so, maybe, if they are looking for crumbs…
"Actually, I have an idea,” you begin in a hushed tone.  Kaz turns to look at you, his expression hardens the moment he notices your mischievous grin. “Up for a bit of roleplay?"
It’s been a wild week for the four Crows. They sat down at a corner table, across the club from you and Kaz talking about something by the bar counter. Absorbed by the conversation, you’re pouring a drink in a record-long time. Your hand hovers above the rum bottle as you’re closely listening to Kaz saying something. Then, to the surprise of the gossip club, you erupt in laughter.
Jesper frowns. “I’m telling you, there’s two of them. She gets the nice Kaz, we get the mean one.”
“No, the mean Kaz is still inside,” Inej refutes. “The nice one is making an effort to bury him but he’s definitely in there. Saw it myself.”
He turns back towards the group. Jesper puts his finger up in a warning gesture and speaks slowly: “Do not tell me Kaz Brekker is a knight in shining armour because there is no way I’m treating that as anything but a bad joke. I’m barely believing the stuff I’ve seen with my own two eyes.”
“N-no, there is some truth to that,” Wylan interjects. “I didn’t see him get angry,” he quickly adds, ”just… strangely protective.”
“So we can agree,” Nina says with expected giddiness, “there is passion in the perpetually grim Kaz Brekker.”
Jesper squints his eyes with suspicion. “I hate the fact that you used passion and Kaz in the same sentence but at the same time I’m curious why.”
“Oh, you’re going to love it!” She taps the table excitedly. “I’ll go first.”
╚ Nina’s Evidence ╝
You’re pacing around the office, jumping from one leg to another, shaking and fidgeting as much as you can without making much noise. While preparing to fool the Heartrender’s power, you’re ensuring that you look the part:
“Is this obscene enough?” you ask unbuttoning your shirt further. Tugging at your clothing, you’re making yourself look even more disheveled. Even the smallest sound outside the office door makes you jump as you’re impatiently waiting for a certain creek of one of the steps.
Kaz doesn’t answer. His watchful eyes are following your movements as he’s focusing on keeping his attention on the task at hand. That bright mind of his, however, fights relentlessly to memorize your unkempt look instead.
Not hearing him respond to your question, you turn around to look at Kaz. Leaning against the desk, he’s just staring at you with a quite inexplicable intensity. His unspoken passion is only making the voice in the back of your head louder: what if it was Him undoing my shirt?
But you stifle this thought. It’s not the time for this. Searching for distraction, you look at Kaz’s collar - the first two buttons are undone but they make him appear more sleepy rather than caught red handed at a moment of weakness.
“May I?” you ask, gesturing towards his garment.
“Go ahead,” he quietly answers. There’s a lot of trust in his lack of movement and calmness about your closeness.
Carefully, you grab the hem of his collar and open his shirt further, while making sure your fingers do not even graze the bare skin underneath, despite the urge sitting deep inside your abdomen. Then, you take a step back, examining his general state and whether it sets a believable scene. A proud smile creeps onto your face.
“You’re really enjoying this,” Kaz states.
“Actually,” you say as you lean against the table, fairly unaware that because of your disheveled clothing your cleavage is significantly more visible, “I’d be enjoying this little scheme a lot more if we were in fact being scandalous.”
Whether that was your objective or not, Kaz’s heartbeat picks up noticeably, his rogue mind flashing explicit images before his eyes.
A creek of stairs.
You and Kaz give each other a meaningful glance and you push the paperweight off the desk, knowing that Nina can hear it. The door swings open and you’re immediately in character, looking away with the most embarrassed expression you could muster.
Kaz clears his throat. “Is there a reason why you’re barging in?”
Nina looks a bit lost, still piecing together what she might have just interrupted. “I… uhm… I talked with Lizzie Hardy. She’s in, we can count on her.”
“Understood,” he says in a low, firm voice. “Now go. And learn to knock.”
A half-grin enters her face as she gets rid of any doubts as to what the two of you had been presumably occupied with before she entered. With a skip to her step, Nina throws a “You bet I will!” before leaving the office. She’s quite sure no one will have a better gossip than her.
╚ Wylan’s Evidence ╝
Wylan is startled by your yelp of pain, almost dropping the delicate vial in his hands. His focus immediately shifts to you, who is now frowning with your hand raised slightly above your head. A string of curses leaves your mouth as you check the wound again - yes, still there and still bleeding.
Right, bleeding.
“Are you okay?” he asks in a worried tone. Part of you feels guilty for fooling Wylan because of the sheepiness he wears most of the time but, on the other hand, he is part of the gossip girl club. This little scheme is just a consequence of his choice.
“Yeah, no problem. I’m a big girl, I’ll just wrap this and I’ll be fine,” you answer casually.
Pretending to look for something that can work as a bandage, you’re praying that Wylan can’t smell the cranberry preserve slowly dripping down your forearm. There’s an urge deep inside you to lick the jam, almost tasting the sweet and sour fruit in your imagination.
Kaz, who was waiting for the well-played-out yelp, rushes into the room with a grim expression. The moment he’s supposed to notice your injury, he makes a show of dropping his shoulders. He’s not saying anything, only giving short sighs and annoyed grunts as he reaches for a random rag laying around. 
“I’d advise against cutting off your fingers,” he says loud enough for Wylan to hear as he’s tightening the wrapped rag around your palm. "You need to be more ca-" Kaz cuts himself off, suddenly realizing he was about to use an off-limits word. "You need to pay attention to what you're doing."
Looking over Kaz’s shoulder, you see Wylan nervously glancing at the two of you out of the corner of his eyes. Jesper is going to hear world-shattering news in the next hour - on that you can safely bet any number of limbs.
╚ Jesper’s Evidence ╝
Too busy retelling what he had learned while following Lizzie Hardy, Jesper doesn’t notice the tiny signal you give Kaz while the three of you are walking through the streets of Ketterdam.
Air, cobblestone, a lost dog - it doesn’t matter. You stumble over something but ever watchful Kaz manages to grab you by the waist, preventing you from falling. To be honest, until this moment you weren’t completely sure this is going to work out because you never practiced this with Kaz. Well, you did, once, but the two of you got significantly distracted early on. So the plan to outfox Nosy Jesper was a leap of faith - literally and figuratively.
Jesper, the man in question, halted his story as he’s watching the unbelievable occurrence of Kaz having a caring reflex. For a moment he considers whether this wasn’t some kind of miraculous coincidence but on the other hand, the movement looked so natural and purposeful that it simply had to be deliberate.
Standing on your own, you look towards Jesper, who’s still staring at you and Kaz with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth slightly agape. “You were saying?” you coax him to continue as though nothing happened.
“Yes, right, the thing,” he stutters out as he’s trying to remember what he was talking about before seeing something so strange he’s questioning his own sanity.
╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝
Due to the late hour, or rather an hour so late it can be considered early, the club is deserted except for you and Kaz sitting by the bar. He’s silently watching your profile as you’re applying another layer of theatrical paint and makeup.
“Does it look realistic?” you ask for the hundredth time while examining the bruise in a small hand-held mirror.
“It’s good enough.”
You set down the mirror and look at him. To a degree, you know he won’t agree to your proposition but you try anyway, just to make sure:
“Maybe you could hit me?” you suggest. His expression grows colder. “Just for good measure. To really sell this,” you add in your own defense, as though there is a possibility of him retaliating for such a ridiculous proposition. Even when furious beyond imagination, you’ve heard him yell exactly once out of anger.
He leans closer towards you. Paradoxically, it’s you who is uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy but maybe the uneasiness is not due to the proximity but the chilling tension that has sprouted between the two of you. Kaz studies your expression for a moment, his jaw relaxes and clenches over and over again as he’s clearly pondering the earthiest way he can put his thoughts into words.
“I will never raise my hand against you,” his voice is quiet and wavering with emotions, “even if my life depends on it. So don’t ask again. Ever.”
Suddenly, you feel strangely small next to him as though Kaz is but a shadow that quickly grows larger as candlelight dims. “Right, sorry,” you answer awkwardly.
The door to the club opens with a creek and the nervous conversation has to be cut short. You cover your face with hands, having rubbed some chili seeds into your palms earlier. As the capsaicin reaches your nostrils and eyes, forcing yourself to cry is easier than ever. Pretending to be agonizing over something, you keep reminding yourself not to actually touch your eyes or nose.
You can’t see her face but you’re sure Inej is wearing a worried or confused expression and you’re quite correct in your guess - she walks towards you and Kaz with apprehension as though she’s still wondering whether she wants to intrude. Inej momentarily grows anxious, noticing the vibrant bruise on the side of your face.
Then, in a truly dramatic fashion, Kaz gets up from the bar stool and storms out of the club as you had agreed beforehand. While he’s passing Inej, she calls out to him:
“Kaz-”
But he’s quick to cut her off in a harsh voice:
“Not now, Inej.”
The door closes behind him with a slam and considering the state of the two of you, she prefers not to ask questions. It will be easier to sleep at night.
“They’re staring,” you inform Kaz while pouring him a drink.
“As far as I know, they have a reason to,” he answers, taking a sip of the beverage. His eyes are boring into you like his trying to look past your skin and bones, into your mind if not your very soul.
A wide smile brightens your face. You lean on the counter, face close to Kaz’s. Although it’s been some time, it still makes your heart flutter that he doesn’t move away. Perhaps it’s just his unreadable expression or maybe he really is unbothered by the proximity.
“To be honest, I enjoyed our little theatrics.” Smiling at him, your teeth glisten in the dim light inside the club.
“You make an impressive con artist, I have to admit.”
“Ah, forget the con part,” you wave your hand in dismissal. “It was entertaining, alright, but the best part was just spending time with you.”
Kaz almost chokes on his drink.
____ @moonstruckpoet @shara-ne @queenkalico
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hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart……
Enchanted
Request: hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart…
and: btw I saw your post about sab season 2 and i would like to request something with nikolai. i dont really have any ideas but i love that blonde boy so anything that you'll write with him is going to make me happy- but if its angst please im begging for a happy ending im already depressed because im reading rules of wolves
and: omg omg omg enchanted x nikolai sounds so perfect 😭 literally written for him
Hi! I absolutely adore these requests, thank you for sending them in. And sorry for the long wait, I’ve been a bit busy. And please bear with me while I try and get the hang of writing for Nikolai, this is only my second time. Also, this request was combined with two others, I hope that’s alright, and sorry for anyone who’s request was altered a little bit to fit this story. I’m happy to accept another request if you don’t like this one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! 
(Warnings: arranged marriage, swearing, very very brief angst, very vague suggestive content, drinking, let me know if i missed anything)
You had nearly begged on your knees when you found out you were to be wed, pleading with your parents’ advisors. 
You were no fool. You knew that one day you’d have to marry, and you were prepared to do your duty. A Princess isn’t awarded the luxury of a choice, and you knew any match that was made probably wouldn’t be from a place of love. But you never thought your parents would be prepared to ship you off to a man none of you had ever even laid eyes on, and that’s including the advisors.
A second son, and a rumored bastard at that. It was all happening too fast, and you weren’t having an easy time processing it. 
“You can’t send me! We already have an alliance with Ravka, why send me still?”
One of the men had stood, trying to ease you. “You must go, Princess. We may have an alliance, but our forces need to be strengthened. Prince Vasily is already spoken for. Marrying you to Prince Nikolai is the fastest way.”
“I am told he is charming, if it is any consolation,” another man said, though his voice was firmer. “It is time, Princess, for you to do your duty. You will marry.”
You finally relented, your fate beginning to set in. “That’s it, then. When will I be expected to leave?”
There was a moment of silence, and an awkward shuffling of feet as the advisors stood. And then one of the men spoke, sending dread running through you like ice in your veins. 
“Your arrival is set for the end of the week. The King and Queen are expecting you.”
The journey passed far quicker than you had anticipated. A trip like that should have been grueling, yet each moment felt more fleeting than the last. By the time you arrived on Ravkan soil, you would practically be theirs. Upon your arrival, you were escorted to the Great Hall to meet the King and Queen. 
“Moi tsar,” you curtsied, keeping your eyes low. “Moi tsaritsa. It is an honor.”
The words tasted sour on your tongue, but you spoke them anyway. The King and Queen were not known to be the kindest of people, and you’d rather spend your time in a foreign country on the good side of the sovereign. 
“Princess,” the King greeted as he stood, his eyes racking your body. “You are as beautiful as they say. My son will be pleased. Unfortunately, your arrival has preceded his. He attended a meeting with our generals, and is set to arrive in a few days. The wedding will be in a fortnight. Until then, please enjoy our hospitality. I look forward to this new found alliance between our great countries.”
“As do I,” you said, forcing a smile. 
As the days passed, you grew more uneasy. The weight of your duties were beginning to drag you down, and you didn’t know if you could bear the burden any longer. 
Nikolai had yet to return to court, but with his inevitable arrival looming, it became harder to face each day. You were practically alone in the castle, having yet to make any friends. And you doubted the arrival of a Prince—the subject of scandalous rumors—would do anything to lessen the loneliness and fear you felt every night. 
One evening, the pressure became too great.
Despite your duties, and the anger you knew both countries would feel towards you, you fled. It was a rash decision, and a stupid one at that. But it was the only option that could give you your freedom, so you took it.
It led you all the way down to the harbor, which you briskly made your way to with little more than the clothes on your back.
Your window of opportunity was closing, and you took it. In mere hours, someone would notice you were missing from your room. Guards would be sent all throughout the palace, and they’d track you down if you weren’t quick enough. One way or another, you would marry the second Prince of Ravka. You’d be forced to. And although the thought of being alone in an open country you knew next to nothing about terrified you, it was less terrifying than the thought of being trapped in that castle forever. 
So you went. Fled, more accurately. All the way to the harbor, in nothing but a dress and cloak, with a bag of coins hidden in your skirts. 
As you approached the harbor, the shout of guards could be heard in the distance. “Spread out! She cannot have gone far.”
The Kingsguard.
You felt your chest tighten as you quickened your pace, pulling your hood over your head. You rushed as inconspicuously as you could, clambering to get as far from the palace as possible. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your wrist. 
“What’s the rush for, My Lady? You’re going to hurt yourself running in those shoes,” the woman said, her brows furrowing.
You stopped in your tracks to take her in, realizing she was standing next to a much larger man. She had axes sheathed at her waist, and a confused but intrigued grin. 
“Please, excuse me—” You stuttered out, trying to pull away.
“There’s no need to be afraid,” the man said, in a tone much gentler than his appearance. “We mean you no harm. What are you running from?”
“I need to get away from here, and fast,” you pleaded, deciding to trust these people who stopped you. 
“That wasn’t an answer to our question,” the woman said, easing her grip. 
You let out a frustrated sigh, turning to look over your shoulder before turning back. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want. Just let me go. I have to get out of here, and quickly.”
The woman shared a glance with the man, and for a minute, you were beginning to think you had been found out. They somehow recognized you, and would know that the castle guards were looking for you. If that was true, the pair didn’t show it, looking back at you. 
“We have a ship,” the man finally said, gesturing behind him. “And a captain. A name you’d perhaps recognize. Sturmhond.”
Sturmhond, you thought to yourself. The richest pirate on the True Sea? What was he doing in a port in Ravka? You shook your head, having no time for questions. 
“Would he grant me safe passage? I can pay, I have the means. Please, I need to know if this is my only option of getting out of here. I haven’t done anything illegal, I promise. I just need to go.”
The woman laughed, her relaxed disposition beginning to ease you. “Illegal would have been more fun. Don’t worry, Princess. We’ll take you to our captain. You’ll be safe with us.”
Your eyes widened, and you stepped back to retreat, when the man raised his hands in surrender. 
“We mean you no harm, Princess. Clearly, you’re in trouble, and we have the means to get you away from the palace.”
“Trust me,” the woman said, offering you her hand. “We have no wish to return to the palace.. I’m sure our captain isn’t too keen, either.”
You looked between the ship and back at the castle uneasily, when you heard another shout coming from the guards marching through the village. You turned towards the man and woman, who you just realized looked very similar. Siblings, perhaps, who had just gotten back from a journey at sea.
“Sturmhond is quite the character, but he’s a good man. You have my word,” the man said. 
“Alright,” you said, making your decision as you took the woman’s hand. “I’ll go. Thank you, uh…”
You trailed off, making the man smile. He led you towards a nearby ship, helping you climb your way onto it. 
“I’m Tolya, and that’s my sister Tamar. We’re part of Sturmhond’s crew. Come along, he’ll want to meet you.”
They quickly led you aboard a ship, ushering the crew to cast off. The crew looked around with confused faces, but listened anyway. As the ship slowly left the harbor, you were led downstairs to the cabins below. 
“Captain,” Tamar called, knocking on the first doorway below deck, before opening the door herself. 
“Do you want to tell me why my ship is moving away from the dock?” Sturmhond asked without turning around, shuffling through his cabin as he pulled on his coat. 
You cleared your throat. “That would be because of me, I think.”
Sturmhond turned around at the sound of your voice, his eyes widening as he took you in. “I don’t believe it. Good evening, Princess. I do hope you are well. Tamar and Tolya have treated you kindly, I expect?”
You shrunk under his gaze, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Is my title that easy to spot? You’re the second to figure it out, is it something I’m doing?”
“Tamar has a keen eye,” Sturmond shrugged, grinning. “But you’re also wearing an evening gown fit for court, and the jewels around your neck could buy a small country. Those things aren’t exactly subtle, darling. Even with that cloak.”
You nodded, still nervous but relaxing with his calm demeanor. “I was told you could grant me passage away from the palace? I can pay, I don’t expect you to do this out of the kindness of your heart. But seeing as we’ve already left the harbor, I don’t think you have any other option but to take me with you. Unless you intend on throwing me overboard into the bay, although I’ll thank you kindly not to do that.”
“In that dress? You’d sink to the bottom, darling. There’s no need to worry, Princess. You’ll stay dry on deck, that I can assure you,” he chuckled, motioning for you to sit. 
“We’ll inform the crew our trip has been extended,” Tamar announced, pulling Tolya behind her to leave the cabin. 
You sat in the chair on the other side of Sturmhond’s desk, and he sat across from you. He offered you a kind smile, one that surprised you. You had heard plenty about the infamous privateer. You hadn’t expected him to be this young and handsome. His reputation matched that of an old tycoon, not of what appeared to be an ex soldier. He looked at you with curiosity, motioning for you to speak. 
“So, would you like to explain to me why my ship is sailing back out to sea? Not that I’m upset or anything, I was dreading my return to Ravka myself. But as I understand it, you were asked to come to Ravka to strengthen a political alliance—”
“And how would you know about that?” You interrupted, raising a brow. 
He smiled, shrugging. “I have my ways. It pays to know lots of things about lots of things. Including which Princesses are being married off to far away royalty.”
“Do you know him?” You asked, your voice a little unstable. “The Prince, I mean. Nikolai. I could hardly find anyone who knew him, and any knowledge of him was limited. I went into this alliance blind, thanks to my parents and advisors.”
Sturmhond’s grin widened as he nodded. “I do know him, yes. We were briefly acquainted some time ago.”
“And?”
“He’s alright,” Sturmhond laughed, leaning back in his seat. “Dashingly handsome. A bit cocky for my taste, perhaps a little spoiled, but what royalty isn’t, right? No offense.”
You smiled, shaking your head. “None taken.”
“I suppose you’re lucky in that you’re set to marry him, and not the Crown Prince. Vasily is—how should I put this—well…”
“A bastard?” You finished, making Sturmhond chuckle, nodding. 
“He is, yes. Nikolai is, in another manner of speaking, the same as well. Is that why you’re running? You don’t want to risk your reputation on a second son who may not even be the second son?”
Sturmhond looked at you through curious eyes, although there was a little apprehension in them. A little vulnerability that you didn’t quite know what to make of. You shook your head, inadvertently easing his thoughts. 
“It’s just rumors, Sturmhond. Whether there is any truth to them, I don’t know, and I don’t care. History records names, not blood. A true Lantsov or not, it doesn’t matter to me. It’s not Nikolai’s fault who his true parents are, and he shouldn’t have to bear the consequences of their actions. All that matters to my parents is what he means for my country. His reputation doesn’t affect that.”
“And what matters to you?” Sturmhond asked, his eyes softening. “Your secrets are safe with me, and I promise to not throw you overboard for whatever your answers are. Why are you running, Princess?”
You sat in silence for a moment, letting out a heavy sigh. Sturmhond politely waisted for you to start, nodding encouragingly for you to speak. 
You fiddled with your hands in your lap nervously. “Nikolai’s blood doesn’t matter to me, truly. All that really matters is that he has a kind heart, and he makes living at Ravkan court for the rest of my life more bearable.” 
Sturmhond nodded as he listened intently. You continued.
“From what I hear, he’s a perfectly good man. Compared to my list of options, he was probably the best I could have hoped for.”
“Was? Or is? Do you intend on running forever? Seems like a waste of time in what is already a fleeting existence, Princess,” he said quietly. 
“I know,” you nodded, growing frustrated. “I don’t know why I did it. I just thought about being alone at court for the rest of my life, and even the promise of a semi decent Prince wasn’t enough to ease my fears. I just wanted control over my own life for once, you know? My own freedom. It was a rash decision, I admit. But it seems to be working well in my favor so far.”
Sturmhond nodded, standing up from his desk to pour two glasses of whiskey. You downed yours the second he placed it in front of you, deciding it was better to let the second one sit when he refilled your glass.
“And Nikolai? What are his thoughts on the matter?”
You shrugged, fiddling with the glass. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been at court since I arrived. I have yet to meet him. Although, once he hears of me running, I’m sure any first impressions he could have had of me are ruined.”
“I don’t know about that.”
You raised a brow, coaxing him to continue. “Really? Why is that?”
“From what I hear, Nikolai isn’t really one for court, either,” he started, shrugging. “He runs when he gets the chance, too. Why do you think he’s away from court so often?”
You pondered the thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I always assumed his duties took him elsewhere. He’s not the Crown Prince, so he doesn’t need to remain in the palace. He serves in the First Army, doesn’t he?”
Sturmhond nodded, grinning. “He does. Or, to put it more accurately, he did. I think he just loiters around neighboring countries until his Mother forces him to come home and make an appearance now.”
You chuckled, letting out a deep sigh. “Isn’t that a treat? Coming home for the first time in months, only to find out your bride to be has run away.”
“With a face like that, I doubt he’ll care much about anything once he sees you.” 
You felt the heat creep to your cheeks at his words, setting your eyes to your lap to avoid Sturmhond’s heavy gaze. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he breathed out a laugh. 
“Besides, I’m told the Prince isn’t expected back at court for a few more days. Plenty of time for you to decide whether or not you want me to turn this ship around. Who would I be to deny a Princess?”
You smiled, your voice soft. “And if I don’t want to turn around?”
“Well, you’re paying me. I don’t really care either way, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,” he said, grinning as he topped your glass off. “But just between you and me, I’d do it for free. Anything for a pretty face like that. Just don’t go telling everyone I said that, I have a reputation to maintain.”
You laughed, nodding. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
You spent the next few days on the ship, feeling more and more at ease the further you made it from Ravkan shores. 
At night, you longed for home. 
Not for you parents, or any of their advisors. But for your own bed—not on a constantly rocking ship—and the familiar trill of the birds outside your window on dewy mornings. For the library in the East Wing people seemed to forget was even there, and the soup the cooks would make when a chill was in the air. For the gardens midmorning where you could escape to when you wanted to avoid all the guards constantly watching you. 
Sturmhond did a good job at keeping you distracted from saddening thoughts, though. It was sweet of him, really. Making sure you had someone with you during the day, taking all his meals with you in the evening. 
Your time on the ship was the most relaxed you had been in a long time, actually, which you attributed to him. 
Sturmhond had quite the representation amongst high society—or any society, really—and he certainly met your expectations. He was charming, and attractive. Clever and ambitious, like everyone said he was. 
You hadn’t expected him to be as attentive as he is, however. He seemed to really enjoy a new guest on the ship, one that could keep up with his banter. He didn’t make you feel like a burden like your parents so often did, actually including you in his daily routine. 
Tolya and Tamar were great, too. Kind, and funny. Fiercely loyal and protective, both of their captain and of each other. They were the kind of friends you hoped to make during your time in Ravka. 
So far, it was off to a good start. 
As the days moved on, you found yourself growing closer to Sturmhond. You tried to stop yourself in the beginning. Despite not wanting it for yourself, you were engaged to Nikolai. Falling for another man wasn’t exactly a good thing for your future
But that damned smile.
His ridiculously attractive smile, and his stupid mop of hair that had only gotten longer from his time at sea. The infuriating way he’d look at you and make you want to shrink away from his gaze, but you could never bring yourself to look away. The obnoxious green emerald ring he wore that could probably buy a small village.
He had charmed you, despite your reservations, and you were practically head over heels. It scared the absolute shit out of you. 
Tamar had of course noticed already, confronting you about it one night after dinner. She joined you on deck, sitting next to you on a crate as you watched the stars twinkle in the sky. They were so visible out at sea, away from all the lights and clutter of the cities. 
“You’re not hiding anything from me, you know,” she smirked, sneaking your flask away to take a few sips from it. 
You feigned innocence, shaking your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tamar.”
“Come on, darling. Let’s skip the bluffing…you like him. It’s so obvious.”
“Saints, I hope not,” you groaned, scrunching your nose up at the thought of Sturmhond finding out. 
Tamar grinned at your embarrassment, chuckling. “Don’t worry. I may not swing that way, but I know the look when I see it. He’s all puppy dog eyes and desperate looks of longing when he sees you. It’s gross, really. I can actually hear his heart skip a beat when he sees you. He likes you, too. I’d stake money on it.”
You swallowed down your excitement, trying to think rationally. “Don’t even joke about that, it’s not funny.”
“I’m serious! You’re a catch, Princess. He may be my captain, but he’d be a fool not to want you.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but we can stop there,” you nervously chuckled. “We don’t need this going to my head. I’ll do something stupid like staying on this boat forever.”
She grinned, nudging your shoulder with hers. “Would that be so bad?”
The next few days, you couldn’t get Tamar’s words out of your head. You went on with your routine with Sturmhond as usual, trying not to put much thought into it. 
Your feelings for him were true, that’s for sure. 
And when you’d catch him looking at you from across the deck, you’d swear by the look in his eye that he felt something for you, too. What it was, exactly, you didn’t know. 
But it was something. 
On your last evening before you had to make a decision about where you wanted to go, you skipped dinner. You couldn’t bring yourself to go along with your usual banter with Sturmhond, beginning to feel guilty about just how close and comfortable you’d gotten with him. 
You still had a duty to your country and your family, which meant at least a little to you. Plus, it wasn’t fair to make a promise to Prince Nikolai, only to leave him hanging when he returned to Ravka. 
You were leaning against the deck railing, watching the way the moonlight bounced over the still waters. So lost in thought, you almost didn’t register Sturmhond’s approaching footsteps. 
“A bit chilly for stargazing, isn’t it?” He asked, coming to stand next to you. 
You turned to see him, smiling when you noticed he was wearing his signature blue coat. You couldn’t remember a time since you met that he wasn’t dressed to the nines, no matter what time of day it was. 
“You know, for a pirate, you don’t really look like one.” 
He grinned, gently correcting you. “A privateer, darling, not a pirate. There’s a difference, I assure you.”
“Ah, a privateer. How could I have forgotten?” You chuckled, hugging yourself in an effort to shield your arms from the biting cold. “But seriously. The emerald on your finger is the size of a walnut, and that coat is fit for royalty. I find it hard to believe a privateer does well enough to afford things as nice as those.”
“Maybe I’m just good at my job,” he retorted, that signature smirk on his face.
It was enough to stir butterflies in your stomach, making you turn to look back out at the water. His gaze lingered on you a moment, and you could feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks under the weight of his stare. 
“You’re cold,” he observed, breaking the silence.
“I’m fine,” you tried to say, but Sturmhond interrupted you.
“I can practically hear your teeth chattering,” he laughed, shrugging his coat from his shoulders. “Here. Seeing as my coat is fit for royalty, as you say, I think it’ll suit you better.”
“Sturmhond—”
“Princess,” he mirrored, smirking when you relented, letting him place it around your shoulders. 
“Thank you,” you said softly.
You turned away from the water to face him, leaning back against the bannister. His eyes flitted up and down your form at his coat wrapped around shoulders, before his eyes met yours. He took a seat on the crate behind him, leaning back and settling into the post next to him. It was quiet a moment before he finally spoke.
“You weren’t in your cabin at dinner. Where have you been?”
You sighed, fiddling with the sleeve of his coat. “Thinking.”
“Thinking? About what?”
“About my future,” you said shakily, shoulders slumping. “Both the imminent one, and the one to follow based on what I decide tonight.”
Sturmhond nodded, seemingly lost in thought. “I’ve been thinking about that, too, if I’m being honest.”
You raised a brow at his words. He’d been thinking about your future? He’d been thinking about you? The thought was both intriguing and terrifying, and you hoped the confusion on your face wasn’t too apparent.
“Well, I…I’m sorry, what?”
“Your future directly impacts me,” he quickly corrected, suddenly steeling his face and meeting your confusion with his usual grin. “Where you go I go, remember? You are paying me, after all.”
You tried to hide your disappointment, forcing a smile. It was a foolish hope to have, that he’d think something more of you. But it wasn’t a hope you were ready to give up. 
Not just yet, at least. 
He seemed to notice your disappointment, brows furrowing. “Have I upset you?”
“No,” you quickly replied, trying to brush it off with a laugh. “No, it’s not you. I’m just not quite sure what I should do. I know you need an answer, and Ravka needs an answer, but…I don’t have one yet.”
“Why?” 
You shook your head, sighing in frustration. “Earlier, I had more than halfway made up my mind. I value my freedom, but I think I value my dignity more. I don’t think I could go anywhere and face anyone, knowing I’ve turned my back on my duties. It may have not been a promise I made for myself personally, but it is a promise I had every intention of keeping.”
“Then what’s stopping you?” He asked, a genuine look of concern on his face.
His eyes softened on you as your face fell, and you turned away from him as you felt heat creep up to your cheeks. You could hear him stand and approach you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 
“Princess?” He asked, only worsening your embarrassment. 
He spoke again, finally getting you to acknowledge him. “You’re worrying me, darling. Surely it cannot be that bad.”
“But it is,” you groaned, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes to stave off the tears you could feel brewing. 
“Try me,” he said gently, carefully placing a hand on your arm. “You can tell me the truth. What’s stopping you from returning to Ravka?”
You could feel his touch even through the coat, which struck you like a punch to the gut when you remembered it was, in fact, his coat you were wearing. And to make it worse, that damned grin was on his face as he spoke with such a genuine kindness in his voice that it made you want to cry. 
You finally met his eyes, taking a sharp breath. Shit, you thought to yourself. You were really going to admit it. He eagerly awaited your response, which you finally managed to utter. 
“You.”
He sucked in a breath, withdrawing his hand. He looked up at the sky for a moment, before taking another breath and turning back to you. 
“Me?” He asked. 
“You,” you said again, exasperatedly laughing. “You, and your ridiculous clothes, and your infuriating charm, and your kindness and ambition…that damned smile.” 
Sturmhond’s cheeks flushed, and he took a step back, although he was grinning like a fool. He couldn’t stop himself if he tried. You didn’t dare speak, waiting for him to say something. After an agonizing moment of silence, he leaned against the bannister, letting out a chuckle.
“What?” You forced yourself to ask, preparing yourself for his answer. 
“Saints, Princess…you’ve gone and done it now.”
You shook your head, your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach. “What?”
“You’ve managed to outdo me. On my own ship. Quite the feat, I’ll give you that,” he laughed, still grinning. 
You narrowed your eyes, still shaking your head. “Sturmhond, I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re saying to me right now. Will you do the honor of enlightening me, or are you going to stand there grinning at me all night?”
“You like my grin,” he mused, making you flush.
He spoke again, saving you from your embarrassment. “And it just so happens that I like yours, too. I like all of you. Very much so indeed, Princess.”
Your heart lurched into your throat at his words, and you had to grab ahold of the bannister behind you to keep yourself steady. He placed his hand over top of yours, his palm warming yours. 
“I cannot believe you beat me to the punch. It’s rude to upstage a captain on his own ship. You’re lucky you’re royalty. I’ll allow it just this once.”
You had just now calmed your breathing, beginning to take in the weight of his words, and what it meant for you both. “Sturmhond, I—”
“I have a confession to make,” he suddenly said in a very serious tone, startling you. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I must tell you something before either of us share something we can’t take back.”
“Alright…” You said uneasily. 
Carefully, he took your hand in his, giving it a squeeze. You let him hold it, waiting for him to speak. Absentmindedly, you comfortingly ran your thumb along the back of his hand, silently reassuring him. 
“My name isn’t Sturmhond,” he finally said, the nerves in his voice the worst you had ever heard them. 
Trying not to jump to any hasty conclusions, you nodded, squeezing his hand once more. “Alright…if it isn’t Sturmhond, then what is it?”
“Well, technically it is, but it also isn’t. It’s just a nickname—” He rambled, and you placed your other hand on top of his to stop him. 
“I gathered that much. What else are you trying to tell me? Go on, you can say it.”
He took a deep breath, his voice soft. “It’s true that people call me Sturmhond, but I’m much better known for my birth name…Nikolai. Nikolai Lantsov.”
The realization struck you like a bolt of lightning. You tried not to flinch in his grasp, but you knew he could feel you stiffen. You cleared your throat, feeling your voice begin to grow hoarse
“Nikolai Lantsov…as in Prince Nikolai Lantsov, second son of the Ravkan throne? Moi tsarevich,” you croaked out, attempting to curtsy. 
“Please,” Nikolai said, holding both your hands in his to keep you from bowing. “There is no need for such formalities, darling. If anything, I should be the one bowing to you.”
You stood up straight, shaking your head. “We’re long past that, don’t you think?” 
He chuckled, nodding. “I suppose so.”
The reality of your situation began to set in, and you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling along with him. He smiled at the sound, raising a brow. 
“What is it?”
“I suppose my little dilemma is solved then,” you said, shrugging. “I was beginning to spiral, thinking my annoying habit of not being able to contain my feelings had ruined any decision I could have made. But of course—in your usual fashion—you’ve managed to upstage me. As is your right, it is your ship, after all. Well, I suppose there’s no decision to make now. At least, I think there isn’t…right?”
Any nerves you had mustered up were immediately squashed when Nikolai brought his hands up to cup your face, running his thumbs across the tops of your cheeks.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d take you wherever you wanted to go. All I can hope now is that you’ll allow me to join you…wherever that is.”
You brought a hand up to rest against his wrist. “Don’t you want to go home? You’re expected back in Ravka any day now.”
“I love my country, but I’m in no hurry to return. You’ve told me multiple times how dreadful court was for you—”
“That doesn’t matter,” you quickly said, squeezing his wrist. 
“Of course it does! I cannot ask you to return to a country you’ll be miserable in for the rest of your days for a man you barely know.”
“It’s a good thing you aren’t asking, then,” you reaffirmed, giving him a smile. “I told you. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. I said that I was afraid I would be all alone at court, and that I was afraid the man I am promised to wouldn’t want a life with me.” 
“What a fool he’d have to be to not want that,” Nikolai joked, making your grin widen.
You continued to reassure him, not convinced that he was believing your words. 
“You say that you’ll follow me wherever I go. Well, I want to go with you. Wherever that is. And I want you to go home. I may have not known you for long, but I’ve been around you long enough to know that you won’t truly be content if you’re tied to my wishes. And I know you’re too stubborn to admit that, so I’ll tell you my wishes, and I need you to believe me. I wish to be with you. I wish for you to return to wherever feels like home, and I wish for you to take me with you. If that’s Ravka, then Ravka will be home. Court will become much more bearable with you there. And if it begins to become too much, I know a certain privateer that can whisk us away for a few days.”
He was doing it again. Smiling like an idiot. He seemed to be in disbelief at your words, this being one of the very few times in his life that he couldn’t find the right words to say. 
“I didn’t mean to trick you, Princess. I should have told you who I was from the beginning.”
You shook your head. “I don’t blame you, Nikolai. If I was given the chance, I wouldn’t have told you who I really was, either. At least, not until I knew I could trust you. I would have done the same as you did. It’s alright.”
“I can’t believe my luck,” he grinned, taking your hand. “How is it that my betrothed managed to stumble upon my ship the very hour I returned to Ravka?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not one to believe in fate, and it sounds impossible.”
“Not impossible…improbable,” he corrected, smirking when you playfully narrowed your eyes up at him. 
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile at your turn of luck. “Are we doing this? Are you going home to Ravka?”
“Are we going home, you mean? I can’t be expected to abandon my betrothed when she turns out to be the single most invigorating person I’ve ever met, now can I?”
“You cannot,” you agreed.
A comfortable moment of silence passed between you both, and you looked down at his hands as you held them in yours. The familiar glint of green on his finger made you chuckle. 
“I knew it, by the way,” you added, grinning. “This coat and that ring are far too ridiculous for a privateer. They’re fit for royalty. Fit for a Lantsov.”
“Am I to understand that you’re not interested in a Lantsov emerald for your engagement ring?” He asked, smirking when you quickly shook your head.
You laughed, pulling his hand closer to inspect his ring. “I said nothing of the sort. I was merely observing how ridiculous it is, as well as this coat. But I’m still wearing it, aren’t I? If I’m going to be married to a ridiculous man, I should begin preparing now, shouldn’t I?”
He narrowed his eyes, playfully jutting his chin up at you. “You just like the coat and want to keep it. It’s alright, darling, you can admit it. We can have your own fitted for you, all you have to do is ask.”
Nikolai gripped the hem of your sleeve, tugging you closer by the arm of his coat. You let him pull you, chuckling nervously when he drew you nearer. 
“I admit nothing, only that my future husband has a taste I will have to acquire. But I’m sure I’m up for the task. We have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”
“We do,” he smiled, settling his hands around your waist. “Although I’ll have to admit, I don’t think we know each other well enough to become husband and wife.”
You tensed under his hold, and he quickly retracted his statement, shaking his head. He didn’t give you enough time to truly panic, interrupting your train of thought. 
“And that’s perfectly fine, darling. Like you said, we have all the time in the world to get to know each other. I think I’d like to take advantage of that starting now. After all, it is our last night on the ship, isn’t it? At least, I assume it is. I expect you’ll want to set a course for Ravka now. Unless you’d rather I get down on one knee, and make a big show of it first. I can do that, if you wish.”
“I certainly wouldn’t stop you,” you chuckled, letting your hands rest on top of his as your tone shifted to a more serious note. “Are we really doing this, Nikolai? Returning to Ravka? Getting married?”
He smiled wider, a twinkle in his eye as he looked down at you. “I’ve wanted you since the moment you stepped foot on my ship, the second I laid eyes on you. And I’ve wanted you more every day since. I’m not one to believe in fate either, but I do think the Saints may have gifted you to me. Who knows what I did to deserve it, but you most definitely won’t find me questioning their will if you’re the result.”
You felt your heart swell at his words. He was right. Of all the ships in the harbor, his was the one you found yourself on. Of all the captains in Ravka, he was the one who took you in. The man you were supposed to marry, and you found yourself falling for him long before you even knew who he truly was. If that isn’t fate, then what is?
“I’ll take all the influence from the Saints I can get when it comes to explaining to your parents why I’ve disappeared right out from under them,” you said with a groan, leaning into him. 
Nikolai chuckled, holding you close. “My Mother will forget all about it when she sees my future safely secured with marriage. There is no need to worry, trust me.”
“I may not have to worry about her, but I do need to worry about Tamar,” you said, letting out a pained chuckle. “I think she staked money on our little situation.”
“She most definitely did. I expect Tolya will be paying up when they hear the news. Who should break it to him?”
You grinned, shaking your head. “I think that duty lies with you, as my future husband. If I’m going to have to listen to Tamar’s endless bragging about being right, then you should have to take half the burden in the form of telling Tolya. That’s how marriage works, isn’t it? Half and half. It’s only fair.”
It was his turn to groan now as he pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, taking yours in the other. 
“Alright, I’ll do it, but you have to accompany me. I think your presence will help soften the blow. What do you say, darling? After all…it’s only fair.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, squeezing his hand. “If I must. You’re lucky you’re pretty, Lantsov.”
“Darling, I’m lucky for a lot more than that,” he smiled endearingly, and you couldn’t help but smile back.
— A/N - Hi! This is SO long, I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry for taking so long to get this out, I’ve been busy and had no time to write. But I finally forced myself to get this done, and now I have more time to write! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you think! Thank you again for the requests :)
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meadowscarlet · 1 year
Text
inflicted desire ━━━ kaz brekker.
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pairings: kaz brekker x fem!reader.
summary: you were simply a crow and nina's closest friend, but kaz doesn't understand why he feels the need to be near you or protect you when you can protect yourself; he is closed off and unreadable, and he couldn't articulate his feelings properly, until you were hurt on the job.
warnings: the normal six of crows shenanigans.
author’s note: a reposted fic. do not copy, post on another site, translate or claim any of my works as your own or you will be reported! nav.
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Kaz Brekker did not make mistakes. He was a thief, not a fool, the Dregs' leader, and Ketterdam's most notorious man. He had a sharp intellect and was astute; no one ventured to cross him out of fear, or they were rational enough not to.
His plans were meticulous, and if something went wrong (which was unlikely), he had hundreds of backup plans ready to go. And everything went well, but there was a glimmer of realization that Kaz had made the biggest mistake of his life. It was bothering him, and he had a nagging feeling of uneasiness.
If he had merely noted when he met you—charming and intriguing—when he visited the House of the White Rose to inform Nina about a job; he should have simply ignored you when you passed him in the hall without a second glance, but Kaz had been effectively intrigued.
Nina told him that you were her closest friend and the one person in the White Rose who kept her sane. Nina was cautious, with a guarded gleam in her eyes and a reluctance that could get you killed in Ketterdam, when Kaz inquired whether you had any skills.
Nina had given Kaz a sharp gaze and said, “Recruiting her in the Dregs is dangerous.”
“Nina dear,” Kaz drawled. “It's dangerous everywhere in Ketterdam. And I think your friend would appreciate getting out of here every now and then.”
Nina told Kaz about your bewitching qualities with a little more trepidation. You were charismatic, a pretty face and a cunning smile that could tempt wealthy merchants to give you kruge and a wise convincer. Nina also mentioned that you had good combat skills. Kaz Brekker had smirked at the time, his thoughts racing. He was well aware that he needed you on his team.
That was his very first mistake. You were good at your work—you did a brilliant job and Kaz knew you were a terrific addition to the Dregs—but as the days passed, he began to have an underlying feeling inside him that he quickly dismissed whenever you were there. Kaz often wondered if he should have heeded Nina's advice about not recruiting you in the Dregs, but he'd been blinded by his curiosity, and he bitterly regretted it.
He recalled one mission in which they were meant to spy on a handful of Pekka Rollins' men. Kaz remembered how meticulously he had prepared for this; he had gone over blueprints over and again until his eyes were weary, but he would not rest—never. Kaz was scrupulous with his plotting especially since it involved Pekka Rollins.
When there's a lovely girl around and they're inebriated, men are simple to seduce. So, of course, your main task was to play the inquisitive girl, allowing men to reveal their drunken secrets while you sat, looking pretty. Despite the fact that you were skilled in this vicinity, Kaz didn't like the plan, but he needed Inej on the roofs and Nina by the door, so you were left as an option.
As he saw you woo one of Rollins guys, he felt a prickling sensation inside him. You were dressed in a velvety white dress that accentuated your contours; you stood out in the darkness of Ketterdam, and you shone brightly. Kaz may not believe in Saints, but he was convinced you were one by the radiance of your smile and dress.
He despised seeing you sitting on a drunk Dime Lion man's lap, and Kaz noticed you looked uneasy, so he fought the impulse to smash the man's head with his cane until his skull cracked satisfyingly. He reminded himself that this was a job, and he needed to do his part. Despite your unsettled expression, he could see your ears perk up, and that's when Kaz recognized the man had begun to speak.
Kaz watched you giggling and touching the man's forearm while drinking your drink; you were playing your part wonderfully as usual. And it all happened very quickly; when the drunken man leaned close to you, another man approached him to stop him, and Kaz realized the man knew who you were.
The man had said something to the inebriated man, and the latter had suddenly sobered up, and Kaz realized chaos had occurred. Because of the drink you drank, you appeared tipsy, but Kaz could see how your eyes flared in terror and your gaze immediately darted to him.
Kaz had set out on foot to get you, but Nina had beaten him to it. Nina had grasped your wrist and pulled you away in alarm before the man could grab you. Shots were being fired, and Kaz could see Jesper rousing his revolters to fire back at the men who were shooting at you and now at Jesper.
Kaz was so concentrated on the men and the bullets that he missed you limping in Nina's arms as he pulled his own gun. Nina wore a worried expression on her face and was essentially bearing half your weight. And Kaz could see it: there was blood on your abdomen that was obvious and evident through the white of your dress. As Kaz focused on you, gunshots faded into the background, and he was startled out of his reverie when Jesper told them to leave.
He didn't normally listen to Jesper because he was the one who gave the directions and commands, but now his feet followed Jesper's, his leg jerking in pain as he hobbled, yet his step was swift. He remembered the blood on your adobem, the way Nina's eyes widened, and he was filled with dread. It was terrifying. Since Jordie, he hasn't felt like this in years.
Kaz knew Inej was close behind him, quiet and concealed like the Wraith she is, as his Crows hurried to the Slat. As you limped beside Nina, Kaz could see you being held by her, and he turned to Jesper, a sensation inside him that he didn't want to convey.
“Run after Nina," Kaz rasped coldly. “Help her with Y/N.”
Jesper didn't need to say anything else as he ran to Nina, and when he caught up with both girls, he grabbed your waist and helped half of your weight as Nina and Jesper carried you to the Slat. Kaz despised hearing a hint of fragility in his voice, but Jesper didn't seem to mind.
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It didn't matter to Kaz if Nina could hear his rapid heartbeat. Kaz saw that the others were watching him as his eyes swept you laying on your bed with Nina mending your wound. Even though your face was pale and your breathing was unsteady, you were alive, Kaz was not soothed. Despite her concerns, Nina had been firm, requesting medical equipment from Matthias, who had followed orders.
Kaz isn't concerned about the Rollins information right now; all he wants is for you to be alright. He remembered your eyes widening in panic and searching for his first. He swallowed a lump in his throat and shook his head, focusing on you instead. And there was so much blood, Kaz gripped his cane tightly in his fist.
“Heal her,” he murmured.
Nina gave him a cold stare. “I'm trying, Kaz, but there's just too much blood.”
“I don't care,” Kaz said icily, his gaze matching hers. “Zenik, heal her.”
Inej had left, but not before praying to her Saints for you to be well. Jesper walked away as well, noticing the gloom in Kaz's voice and Nina's gaze. Matthias was retrieving more medical supplies, creating a tense atmosphere with only a feverish Kaz, an anxious but indignant Nina, and an alive yet barely Y/ N.
“You should leave, l'll get to you once l'm done,” Nina remarked as she resumed working in your wounded abdomen.
Kaz stood firm in his position. “I'm not going anywhere.”
With a shake of her head, Nina replied, “Your heartbeat is distracting me.” Kaz noticed her hand quivering. “I can sense your nerves, Brekker, and it doesn't help that l'm worried about her as well.”
He was terrified; he had shown vulnerability, and Nina had noticed. She knew he cared about you, and he had never experienced anything like it with anybody else. When Inej was stabbed, Jesper was shot, or Matthias, Wylan, and Nina were hurt, Kaz's heart didn't rush as rapidly. It was always you who made his heart race with nerves and a need to protect you if you were harmed.
When Kaz glanced at your hand, palm up, he felt compelled to grasp it. Not Jesper, who had brought you to the Slat, or even Nina, who stroked your hair away from your face every now and then, but he should be the one holding you and aiding you. But Kaz knew that idea alone was impossible; he couldn't think about it without shivering with distaste, so he stayed, a safe distance away, with a tremendous desire to hold you.
Nina fixed her gaze on him. “I assume she'll be a little hazy when she wakes up, so don't ask her any questions about the information.”
“I don't give a damn about the information,” Kaz remarked indifferently.
Kaz despised the mischievous glimmer in her eyes as she shot him a shocked glance. “Kaz Brekker not caring about the information that's about Pekka Rollins? Somebody pinch me.”
He gave her a skeptical look as he rolled his eyes. “Keep her alive by doing your work, Nina dear.”
Nina shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes were gloomy. “She's not dead, Kaz,” she said with a shake of her head. “Since the blood loss, she'll be unconscious, but she'll be fine—she usually is.”
Kaz nodded in agreement. What Nina said was right; it was not uncommon for someone in the Crows to be hurt—it happens all the time, especially during heists and jobs—but the jobs were mostly successful, and Kaz had been blunt in assigning you the safest task (charming people) because a selfish part of him wanted you to be in the middle of the job so he could keep an eye on you.
But, despite his composed demeanor, he seemed to crumble everywhere around you. Perhaps you had charmed him, as you had charmed so many others, by bewitching him with your entire being, causing his black heart to seek you out. When you were around, there was always an inflicted desire within Kaz, which he had always disregarded until now.
Kaz wanted to kill the man who had touched you, as well as track down the person who had shot you. He remembered your bright eyes dampening in fear and a brief tremor of despair as you realized you'd been caught, then blood splattering across your white dress and Nina's worried expression as she carried your limping weight.
Nina snarled, “You're doing it again.”
With his dark eyes, Kaz looked at her. “What?”
“I know you love her and all, but I need to focus, and your heartbeat is incredibly distracting right now,” Nina rambled.
Kaz stilled as he heard the word he didn't want to associate himself with. “In Ketterdam, love is neglected; it is reserved for the weak.”
Nina surprised him by laughing. “What are you doing right now? Whenever Y/N is hurt, you appear weak—you're in your vulnerable form.”
Kaz wanted to kill Nina by saying things he knew were true, but he was ignorant and stubborn to accept it. Nina gave him a knowing look as she cleaned, healed, and wrapped a cloth around your wound before kissing you on the forehead and leaving Kaz alone with you.
Kaz strolled over to where you were laying after a few moments of contemplation. He examined your flawless face, which, despite seeming pale and near death, was nonetheless lovely. Kaz paused for a while before raising his gloved palm to your cheek and tucking the errant strand of hair away.
He sat down near your bed, putting his disgust aside. Despite the strong temptation, he did not grasp your inviting hand. Kaz had stayed by your bedside the entire night, never leaving your side. Nina had stopped by every now and then to change your bandage, but she had said nothing about Kaz's overstaying or even asked him to leave.
When Nina was treating your wound, she had said, “You should rest, Kaz.”
Kaz gave her a sidelong glance. “Don't tell me what to do.”
Nina may have been right, but she was also wrong. Kaz did not believe he was capable of love, yet he had a great desire to be with you. To be in your company, to receive your gorgeous smile, and to simply be in your presence. And this time he wasn't going to ignore it.
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swanimagines · 2 months
Text
MASKS | KAZ BREKKER
Summary: You are incredibly beautiful but you have always been insecure of your own face, so you wear a mask. But in the middle of doing a heist, the mask breaks.
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Ever since childhood, you hadn't liked what you saw in the mirror. Your nose was too big. Or too small. Your lips were too thin. Or then they looked like a bee had just stung them. Your eye color was bland. You just bashed yourself in front of the mirror every morning as you had brushed your teeth, and other kids at your neighborhood didn't really help with that - kids could be cruel if they were given a reason for it.
So, that day you moved into Ketterdam, you made yourself a mask before anyone got to know you. A beautiful white mask made of porcelain, with cat ears and a red stripe going over your eye. It fit perfectly around your face, hiding any imperfections behind its perfect curves.
You joined the Dregs, a gang ran by a young man who was barely 18. Kaz Brekker wasn't interested about your mask, he only wanted to know how you could fight and you were in. It didn't take long after that before you joined the heists with him and the other five people who called themselves "Crows". You quickly had made friends with them, spending evenings with them and finally feeling like you had a family again.
Kaz ended up growing something more than just your boss. It took a while, but he let his walls down with you, took a faint hold of your hand when you were worried about your wounded friend and even tried to comfort you, although he wasn't a master in it. In turn, you had showed him your face, let yourself be vulnerable too. He had looked at you with so much love you thought it's uncharacteristic of him, but at the same time you felt how your cheeks grew hot as you felt cared about for the first time in years.
Jesper had seen your face too, but it was by accident. He had barged in to Kaz's room because Wylan was missing and he was scared out of his mind and walked straight to the bedroom, just in time to see you sit up and your eyes met his. He froze for a moment before you ducked your head and took your mask, and Jesper knew better than to question it. He told you that Wylan is missing and you sprang into action immediately, dressing up and hurrying out of the office.
Turned out Wylan had been fetching Jesper a cake because the sharpshooter's birthday was the next day. Thank the Saints you found him first, so the surprise wouldn't be ruined.
A few months from that, and you were on another heist. Another merchant in the city, who has bragged about his fortunes a little too enthusiastically. In Ketterdam, you had to remember that someone was always listening, and this time that someone was Inej. A week from that, and you were at the manor of that merchant.
Kaz had ordered you and Jesper to keep watch at the hallway as he worked on the hidden safe around the corner - the merchant was smarter than he looked, he had put a safe inside a safe, and hid that behind a large and incredibly heavy bookcase. The blueprints were done wrong as a distraction, and Kaz had cursed himself over not realising it. So it had taken a while to actually get on the safe.
Footsteps were heard from the right, and Jesper's hand immediately went to his other gun. A few guards bickered about something, and Kaz halted his movements upon hearing that too. Jesper met his eyes, and he nodded towards the guards. Jesper started making his way towards them and you glanced at Kaz who started working on the safe again.
You hadn't known what was happening before you already felt a blade on your throat.
"Don't move, bitch," said a voice behind you. His breath had a bitter scent of garlic and you scrunched your nose at it.
The man with the knife pressed hard enough to cut your skin but didn't draw blood yet. A thought of him killing you and going after Kaz next crossed your mind, an d that thought made your heart start racing faster and adrenaline kicking in.
You knew it was stupid. Irresponsible. You should wait for Kaz to deal with it, he by no doubt was already thinking what to do to save you. But you weren't a lady in distress, you refused to be.
So you stomped on his foot with all your might and when he grunted, you elbowed his jaw. The knife made a scratch on your face and you heard something shattering - probably a vase on the drawer next to you. You started giving punches to the brute until he laid on the ground unconscious, and then turned back around to see all your friends gathered there to see what's the noise about. You let out a breath of relief upon seeing they were all alright and walked up to them as you tried to catch your breath. You didn't pay attention to it at first, but then you noticed that they were staring at you.
"What?" you asked, frowning.
"Darling, your mask..." Kaz mumbled, looking over at the shattered piece of art you had been wearing for the past half a decade.
Your heart stopped for a moment.
"Oh," you whispered and suddenly felt self-conscious as you turned away from your friends. Your cheeks burned like hellfire, even though nobody was saying anything about how you looked ugly underneath this disguise. Though, they had probably stared because they didn't recognize you at first, not because of how you looked. But it still felt like the latter option, and the echoes of what the kids in your neighborhood had been saying to you when you were growing up.
"Okay, we got what we came here for, escaping through the third back door." Kaz interrupted the moment and everyone started moving out, leaving Kaz and you standing there to come as last ones.
You walked in silence side by side with Kaz, looking behind the shattered mask - its shards glinting in the moonlight as if to wave its goodbye to you. You felt like a part of you had just been ripped away, and you couldn't help but feel tears in your eyes. The whole thing happened so fast, that none of it registered until that point. Then it was too late.
You could feel the slight night breeze caressing through your face once you were outside in front of the carriage, something you hadn't experienced in years. It felt so foreign now - but somehow also comforting.
You stood there for a moment before Nina spoke.
"Hey, we don't care how you look. We still love you the same."
You closed your eyes against the sudden wetness on your cheek and nodded, sniffling. "I know."
"Hey," Jesper said. He walked up next to you and handed you a handkerchief from his pocket.
"Thanks," you sniffed and wiped at your tears.
Jesper cleared his throat. "It's weird to see you without that mask. You're not ugly, you know. Not really."
You looked down at the cloth in your hands and gave a watery laugh.
"Don't be ridiculous. I've always been ugly."
"No, you aren't. This is what beauty feels like. This is what real beauty would be like."
"Oh," you said softly, biting back more tears.
He glanced at Kaz who was looking at you with something looking like concern. "Kaz is lucky to have you, you know."
You couldn't help but smile a little at that, and everyone started to board the carriage, Jesper being the driver and standing beside the door.
Jesper smirked as he helped you board the carriage, "I know what we just said but just a suggestion, love; you should consider being a model, we could pull out pretty neat heists if you went on a modeling show with rich pigs and turned over their pockets."
You couldn't help but smile at the suggestion - maybe you could finally get rid of the feeling of insecurity you had felt since you were a child.
---
Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)
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delic7te · 1 year
Text
sweet dreams | kaz brekker
kaz brekker x reader
summary: after an exhausting day, kaz lets you spend the night in his office
a/n : sorry for not responding to reqs, life was kinda happening. anyway here's something I wrote a long long time ago
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Kaz caught himself looking at you for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, as if you might fall into the ground if he averted his gaze away from you.
The Crows were heading back to The Slat, worn out after a risky heist that ended up being a success but left them all exhausted and weak, eager to go lay back for a good sleep.
Except Kaz. The man was almost always wide awake and on watch, busy with something buisness related. He allowed you to tag along with his work at times because you had quite a gift for things like he did, even though he hired you as a weapon more than as a mastermind. But you became both and Kaz trusted you enough to let you help him out with planning heists and managing the Dregs, as you were in the buisness almost as long as he was. Of course, you had your own reputation and jobs, sometimes working for Kaz but mostly for yourself.
Still, Kaz and you partnered up at times.
When you were finally at the Slat, everyone drifted into their rooms immediately and shortly fell sound asleep. But Kaz needed to get some work done as always, which meant he would take you with him.
"Y/N, come along", he told you when you came through the door, glancing down at you again. You looked like you hadn't slept for weeks, your eyelids threatening to shut down any second now. "Huh?"
"There's some paperwork left if you don't mind", Kaz explains as he limps up the stairs, you following behind.
"Alright." A quiet sigh leaves your lips. "I planned on staying up a little anyway" , you lie.
Kaz felt bad for keeping you up even though he knew all you wanted to do was to lay back on your bed and give your mind a rest, but he still kept a straight cold expression when you both sat down in his office.
You took of your coat and put it on the couch by his window, sitting down on a chair opposite of his at his desk. Kaz sat right down, picking up files and spreading them all over the desk. "Where were we?"
You let out a yawn, covering your mouth with your hand. "Are you sure this can't wait until the morning?"
It could. He knew it could. Yet something in him told him to keep going and keep you by his side for as long as possible.
Tonight, during a job, Kaz got really concerned for you. It was dangerous, bloody and filthy out there and even though you fend for yourself perfectly in jobs like that, he still sometimes saw you as a butterfly whose wings are about to be torn off by vultures and the cruel world.
He hated that. He hated feeling that type of cautiousness. But when you were in his office, working by his side, he could have an excuse to be in your presence while you were perfectly safe. He would never admit that to you, so he would rather keep you occupied and close to him.
"Hang on for just a few minutes, can you?"
With no choice and a small nod, you get back to all the paperwork scattered on the desk before you. "Atleast we got what we needed tonight."
♤—————————♤
After some time of silent working together, Kaz stands up from the desk. "Excuse me for a minute", he says as he limps to the bathroom.
Kaz shuts the bathroom door, taking off his gloves. He splashes his face and gloves with water, refreshing himself.
His thoughts shift back to his partner in the next room. When had he begun to trust a person like this? Maybe it were your talents: your fighting skills, your calculated moves, your bright, sharp mind. Or it was simply your charm and wit that enchanted him whole.
Those few minutes of peace with you were all he wanted for the rest of his life. It frustrated him, how much space could someone take up in his head.
Kaz walked out of the bathroom, when he saw you lay your head over your crossed arms spread out on the desk. Your eyes were shut and you looked as if you just passed out.
He realized how he kept you up for no reason, just his selfishness, even though you were tired out of your mind. This time he didn't want to wake you, but he figured you won't be comfortable if you fell asleep in the position you were currently in.
"Y/N?", he whispers softly, careful not to startle you.
Your head rises from the wooden surface. "Sorry", you mumble, rubbing your eyes.
Kaz sits back down. "Don't be. You can stay here overnight, if you wish. My room is open to you."
You shook your head. "No, I'll go back to my place, I'll be fine."
He scoffs. "Just accept something for once. We don't want you to pass out on your way out, do we?"
There was silence after you sighed, burying your face in your hands.
"I insist", Kaz finally says, and you didn't want to resist anymore because you knew that in the end he would make you stay.
"Where would you sleep?"
"I don't need to, yet. Don't worry about me."
"Even geniuses need sleep, Kaz", you frown, standing up from your chair.
He shrugs. "Exactly why you're gonna stay here and get some rest."
"I'll just take the couch here."
When you finally layed down on the couch close to his desk, none of you said anything for a long time. Kaz kept scribbling with his pen, which lulled you to sleep even more.
"You did a good job tonight", Kaz breaks the silence, surprising you.
Your eyes find his and you gaze at each other for a moment. A small nod of appreciation was all you left off before letting your eyelids close and the darkness take over.
♤—————————♤
Kaz was finally done with working for the night, which was slowly turning into the morning. It was really late, and you had been asleep for about an hour on the couch, eyes shut and eyelashes spread over your plum cheeks.
You looked relaxed, pleasantly at peace. It was a sight Kaz couldn't take his eyes off.
Before heading to his room, he noticed that it was getting chillier in the space and that nothing covered your body from it.
There was an old blanket hanging from the end of the couch and he picked it up, placing it on top of you and protecting you from the cold in the air.
He admired you one last time. "Sweet dreams, Y/N/N", he whispers, turning around to leave the room.
"Night, bastard", replied a sleepy voice behind his back. Kaz freezes, slight embarrassment washing over him.
He was now glad he wasn't facing you, because he couldn't contain himself from letting his lips stretch into a wide smile.
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syllvane · 1 year
Text
i’ll be the one if you want me to- kaz brekker x reader
“Is he still angry?” Jesper asked and you didn’t have to ask for clarification on who he was talking about, the events of last night still fresh in your mind.
“What do you think?”
Jesper didn’t say anything, taking another sip of the drink he was nursing.
“What is he so angry about anyways? I wasn’t aware that dancing with you was illegal.” Jesper complained and you swiped the drink away from him as soon as he put it down, taking a sip of it for yourself.
Your face scrunched, not expecting the alcohol to be that bitter, before sliding it back over to Jesper.
“I don’t understand how you can drink that shit this early.” 
Jesper shrugged.
“It’s a learned skill. Useful for when you piss off Kaz Brekker.”
“I should just talk to him, he’s being ridiculous.”
“I should just apologize, I shouldn’t drag this out any longer than necessary.”
“You’re not the one dragging it out, Jes. Besides, you did nothing wrong. I’m allowed to dance with who I want without him getting all pissy about it.”
“Yeah, well… you know. He does have a soft spot for you.”
You scoffed, shaking your head.
“He does not.” You said and Jesper gave you a look before the door to outside opened.
He turned around and grinned.
“Nina! True or false, Kaz has a soft spot for our good friend here.”
Nina appeared on Jesper’s side, looking dubiously at the alcoholic beverage he was nursing.
“Saints, you’re starting early today. True, obviously, why?”
“He does not! If you had danced with Jesper last night, Kaz would not have given the both of you the silent treatment for the last twelve hours.”
“Well, that’s because he’s in love with you. He was jealous. I would be jealous if I saw Matthias dancing with another girl.”
You fell silent.
“You and Matthias are dating.”
“And you’re going to tell me you and Kaz aren’t? That all of those longing looks are completely platonic?”
“I’m going to talk to him.”
Nina paused.
“Are you sure you’re in the best space of mind to do so?”
You didn’t respond as you stood up from your chair, heading back to the Slat, determined.
Kaz doesn’t look up as you open the door to his office without knocking, nor as you close the door behind you.
“You don’t get to be jealous, Kaz.”
He stopped working on whatever it was that he was writing, setting the pen down.
“I’ve never been jealous of anything.”
“Then what was last night?”
He didn’t say anything, shifting his jaw.
“It was nothing. It was… misplaced anger.”
You took a deep breathe, shaking your head.
“Don’t lie to me.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth. For once.”
He stayed quiet, unable to meet your eyes.
“Tell me that you want me. Tell me to stay. And I will, and I will never ask you to say so again.”
Finally, he looked up.
“Is it not obvious?”
“It’s really not.” You said, your voice nearly breaking.
“I-” He started, his voice catching in his throat and breaking, unable to continue.
He looked down, his eyes closed.
You felt yourself deflate, tears in your eyes.
“Tell me to stay, Kaz, and I will. But when I exit this door, I’m gone.”
It feels like an eternity that you wait, that you stand there in his office foolishly, asking for something he can never give you, because these are the simple facts of the situation: Kaz Brekker will never ask for you to stay.
He will never pull you closer or grab your wrist while you’re walking out.
He will never ask you to stay because there is vulnerability in asking, in wanting.
He will watch you dance with Jesper, will watch you talk with Inej and giggle with Nina, will watch you look at him with inexplicable fondness and do nothing at all about it. 
You say nothing to him as you turn, speak nothing of the hope you still hold out for him.
The door shuts behind you and safely, behind the cover of wood and walls, his face contorts into anger and sadness and he hits his desk, slams his cane into a bookcase, does everything but rush out after you.
And you let him go.
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writing-havoc · 1 year
Note
Hey! How're you? I hope you're well.
I absolutely adore your works and I hope it's okay to make a request? It's just a little idea I had, sort of inspired by your latest fic :)
Where the reader is a part of the crows and one night she finds this small child outside the club and she feels really sorry for them and brings them into the club and tries to help them? Maybe with a bit of Kaz x reader? Whatever you feel inspired to write to be honest :D
I hope this is okay, I love your works so much! 💖💞
Enough
♡ Summary: You do your best to care for a little boy you found while Kaz cools down
♡ Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader
♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse
♡ Warning(s): Hunger, Child Abandonment, says Yn twice
♡ WC: 4.6k
I could have sworn there was a mention of like, a café by name in the books somewhere but I couldn't find it? I just made one up but man this is gonna drive me crazy lol
Anyway, here you go! I hope it is to your liking and tysm for the request and kind words <3 so glad my fic could inspire!
Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes
∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘
Finding a child in an alleyway was not something you expected to tick off your bingo card so soon. Taking the child with you to the Crow Club with plans to look after him wasn't even on the card. And yet, here you are.
He's small, top of his head barely reaching your belly button, and his hands are freezing from where they hold onto your own.
You had found him not twenty minutes ago, and planned to just leave him there like any sensible person. But unfortunately, you're not as good at turning your moral compass upside down like everyone else.
So you got his attention, approaching his little shelter and offering him the last slice of bread you had swiped from someone's open kitchen window. He was hesitant to reach for it, hands slowly edging toward you as if you'd rip it away any moment, and with a certain gentleness took the piece from your hand and began to nibble on it.
His clothes were dirty, dipped in whatever dirt the Barrel has rubbed off on him and drenched through to the bone. Things were coming apart at the seams and the soles of his shoes you can tell were about to separate from the rest.
You had asked him where his parents are, and your heart immediately sunk when he looked away and towards the canal, his tiny nibbling seizing.
That was what snapped the little string you had holding you back, the other side tied to your sense of reasoning.
He's just a kid. You were just a kid once. Arguably still are. You'll be damned if you had to watch someone who was no older than 7 go through the same fate you did.
But your sentiments were short lived, starting and ending with you, as the moment you stepped through the doors of the Crow Club with the kid clutching your hand, Kaz was narrowing his eyes and his teeth were gritting.
You glared at Dreg members around you, daring them to stop you as you made your way to the back of the club where all the alcohol is stored. Nina and Jesper were setting up chairs, and you gave them a blank look as you entered the room, the sound of metal thumping rhythmically following.
"Yn." A rough gravelly voice calls behind you.
You ignore it, looking at the kid. "Is it alright if I lift you up? Just to here, hun."
In the softest voice you ever heard, the kid says "Yeah." and allows you to put your hands under his arms and lift him onto a crate.
"Yn," Kaz calls again, making your blood simmer.
There's really nothing you can do here. The Club is going to open in a few moments for the five o' clock rush and there's not any spare clothes. You'll have to wait until you can go to the market later to fetch him some clothes and bathe him at the Slat.
The ferrule of a cane drags across the floor, and you roll your eyes.
"Give me a moment, okay?" You say to the kid, waiting for him to nod before turning around, exiting into the main bar area.
"Are you mad?" He hisses at you, hand gripping his cane so hard you can see it shake. "What could have possibly made you think bringing a child here would be a good idea?"
His anger isn't too surprising. But if you're being honest, it's annoying.
"I was thinking that he has nowhere to go." You say, voice low as you walk away from the door a little more. Kaz follows you, eyebrows still snapped together and a hardness to his jaw you don't think you've ever seen directed at you. "He was outside and shivering inside a make-shift shelter made out of fruit crates and a tattered towel. He needs a place to stay."
"I don't care what it needs. It has no place here." His eyes flicker to the kid.
You cross your arms, anger bubbling in your chest. "He is not going anywhere. He is cold, and small, and hungry, and we have everything here and at the Slat to keep him comfortable."
His eyes snap back to you. "This isn't a daycare. We can't just swing our doors open to any lost kid you manage to find on the streets. This is the fucking Crow Club."
"I know damn well what this place is, Kaz." Your jaw hurts from how hard you're clenching it, head starting to pound at your temples. "I'm not blind nor incompetent. But he can't weigh more forty pounds and he's way past the age for that to be acceptable. I cannot, in good conscience, let him go for him to starve and eventually die on the streets."
He goes to say something, but stops, eyes flickering around your face. Your jaw is set, features no doubt mirroring his as you stand your ground, hands on your hips and feet stood apart.
"Please, Kaz."
You don't care that he runs this place. You're not about to be pushed around and bullied into staying complicit while this kid dies.
And he knows this.
So he closes his eyes, looking away from you as he takes a deep breath, collecting himself. His hand is no longer shaking, but you can tell he's still angry, ready to swing at both the imaginary and the physical.
He takes one last breath and looks at you, eyes only just softer than before. "You are responsible for him. He's hungry? You feed him. He's hurt? You fix him." The crows head of his cane comes up to look at you. "If he causes trouble, you deal with him."
You smile for only a moment before you push the cane away from your face, his barrier down. "He's well behaved. It'll be fine."
"You better hope so." He mumbles under his breath, walking away slightly off rhythm.
You watch him leave, members parting when they see his mood. A few even nearly knock over a chair when he gets a bit too close, Nina and Jesper arching their brows as he disappears out the door.
A few people are staring at you, eyes hungry for gossip and a glimpse at the kid you ushered in not minutes before.
You ignore them in turn for trying to figure out what to do with him.
He's sitting on a crate of Kaelish whiskey, legs shut tightly and dangling off the side, arms wrapped around his torso. But he's looking around, taking in the stockpile of alcohol.
"Alright, first things first." You say, leaving a crack in the door as you step into the room. He's jumpy, staring at you with analyzing eyes. "What's your name?"
He opens his mouth to say something, but then pauses, quickly shutting it.
You chuckle. "Listen, kid. Whatever you've got to hide, I don't give a shit. You're in the Barrel now, the only names that matter here are who you've decided to roll your dice with and those who call themselves bosses."
He thinks about it then, eyes narrowing and feet rubbing against eachother inside his tattered shoes. He wets his lips.
"Leopold."
It's... a little far from what you were expecting. You just barely stop yourself from snorting. "You'd have been better off lying."
His face blossoms in red, embarrassment clear as he begins to shut down.
"Hey, hey. I'm sorry." You're still smiling so it doesn't help much. But you kneel down in front of him. "It's customary here to at least make light fun of others when you first meet them." He's not convinced, but he's a little less prickly now, so that's something. "Is Leopold what you'd like to be called? Or is there a different name you have in mind?"
Again, he thinks about it.
"Leo, is fine."
"Leo is much better." You pat his knee, standing up.
His cheeks are still red, but you can tell he feels a little more confident now.
The arms that were tightly coiled around his waist have loosened, resting on his legs. His feet are swinging, just barely, and his back has straightened.
A thought comes to mind when you see his shoe begin to slip off his foot.
"How hungry are you?" You ask.
And before he can answer, you hear a rather loud grumbling from his stomach, and a bit of a pained expression falls on his face.
Your smile drops a little. "Well it's good to see you haven't got comfortable with being hungry yet. Come on." You wave him over as you swing the door open. "We're going to get some waffles."
"Waffles?!" You hear from your left.
Leo jumps in surprise, not expecting the voice.
You, however, were expecting it. Counting on it, even. "Yes, Nina. You can come if you want!"
It's faint, but you can hear her go "yes!" and the sound of a chair scraping against the floor. "No need to ask me twice!"
You look at Leo as he approaches the door, hands fidgeting with eachother.
"None of that." You say, tapping his hands, which in turn makes him fling them apart. "When you walk out of here, in front of all those people, pretend to be confident."
His eyebrows knit together, so you take your finger and smooth it out. "You don't have to actually feel confident, but those guys out there? They're vultures, and I dont think you have the heart to take the amount of teasing and bullying they'll inflict on you if they see you fidgeting like that." You grab his shoulders, and watch in amusement as he stiffens into a board. You give him a thumbs up, then tilt his chin parallel to the floor, bringing it out of its nook in his chest. "Fidgeting is reserved for those who have earned their place here, when everyone knows that if they mess with you, you'll hold your ground."
He's sweating, and his eyes are big and wide, but it's a little better than whatever he had going on before.
You usher him out the door, closing it behind you. People are still staring, and others are giving mean side eyes, but you ignore them, smiling at Nina from where she stands by the door.
Her face gets wider when she sees Leo next to you.
"Oh you're the little bugger that had Brekkers panties in a bunch." She leans down, ruffling his hair. "You and I are going to get along swimmingly."
Leo cringes, scrunching in on himself and away from her hand. He's absolutely not pleased, you think, as Nina takes her hand back.
Lazily helping him sort his hair back out, you start to wonder what this kid even likes.
"Nina, this is Leo. Leo, this is Nina, greatest wolf tamer to grace Fjerda's soil."
Nina scoffs, kicking her leg out and knocking your shin with the toe of her boot. "The whole world, thank you very much." She turns out the door, holding it open for you both as you exit.
You do your best to keep the kid close as you make your way through the streets, idly chatting with Nina as you shove Leo around into various alley ways when you see someone you don't have good relations with and pulling him away from an oncoming carriage when he gets lost staring at the boats that roam the canal.
He has to be an artist's son, or maybe a writer's. You don't know anyone who just stops in the middle of the road to look at boats doing their job and floating on water.
It's actually a miracle you make it to the little diner in one piece.
Inside it smells strongly like shitty coffee and various breakfast foods given the hour, much to both you and Nina's delight.
You're just happy to be out of Barrel air for a moment. Even if you were only just across East Stave and a two minute walk would plant you back in the slums, you swear the air quality just immediately skyrockets the second you cross the bridge.
The menus of this place are built into the tables, Grisha engraved into a thin piece of metal while a thick card on a rack displays the specials.
A booth a little ways away from the corner suits your group well, though you do regret not giving Leo a wipe down before coming out here.
It does seem like he attempted to clean himself off. Probably while Kaz was lecturing you. The dirt that was under his fingernails seems to be picked out, and the smudges on his face are considerably fainter.
It's a good thing you didn't walk into one of the nicer diners around here. But from your experience, the shittier the establishment the better their food will taste.
If you don't feel at least a little unsafe walking by it then it's probably not worth the kruge.
You shimmy into one side of the booth first while Nina slides in on the other side. Leo follows after you, sticking as close as he can while still giving you a bit of arm room.
"Alright." You smile, looking at the little breakfast section, scooting in just a bit more so Leo can look at the menu as well. "I know I said waffles, but really you can order anything you like."
"You're paying, yes?" Nina asks.
You roll your eyes. "Yes, Nina. I'm paying. Though do try and feel a little guilty for my poor pocket."
She doesn't say anything, eyes roaming over the whole breakfast section rather than stopping on just the waffles like usual.
Maybe you'll get some lunch to balance out the sugar that's about to grace the table.
The smallest of taps tickles your shoulder. "What's this?"
He's pounting at the menu, the item catching your eye. "Ah, I forgot these places give awful names to their foods. It's an omelet," you clarify, "with little veggies mixed in. Probably cheese in the middle."
His eyes go wide as you mime the size of such a dish with your hand.
"Would you like it?" You ask, gently probing at the little bits of personality that have managed to unravel themselves in the short time you've known him.
He looks at you, hesitant as he nods. "Yes please."
You smile. "Nice choice, kid."
The praise makes him smile, just as a waiter comes and begins to take your orders.
Of course, Nina gets a few plates of waffles with various toppings that she found interesting with a plate of toast, Leo gets his omelet with extra cheese, and you indulge yourself with a pile of hashbrowns and eggs over top.
Mixing it all together on your plate always sends Kaz into a frenzy. You hope he can feel the monstrosity being prepared and weeps at the sin you're about to commit.
"Does that man hate me?" Leo suddenly asks.
You scrunch your brows, discreetly looking around. "What man?"
"That man from before, that yelled at you." He says, rubbing his finger over a fork he received. "Did I get you in trouble?"
Nina chuckles. "Kaz is just like that. Out of everyone in that place your protector here is of the least likely to get in trouble."
You smile at that, thinking of Kaz's tendencies.
What Nina said isn't exactly true. You get in trouble just as much as the rest of them. Kaz just forgives you easier, is more willing to talk and come to a compromise.
Tonight you'll walk into his office and he'll still be steaming, angry at you for not clearing such a major change with him. He'll glance up at you, shoulders stiff and that cavern between his brows only getting deeper.
But if things go right, that edge he has a habit of keeping sharp will dull, his jaw will slacken, and his eyes will soften. He'll still be the hardstrung mini boss hell bent on making up for the past, but he'll settle down in the present for a little while, drinking the warm tea you set on his desk and heart a bit more open to you.
"No, I'm not in trouble." You fix his collar. "Just have some explaining to do."
Leo frowns, opting to pick at the metal menus. His leg is bouncing up at down, temples flexing. "So he is mad at me?"
You glance at Nina. She has a tightness to her lips, not knowing what to say either.
A joke, then. "He's not allowed to be mad at you before he meets you. However, I will be mad at you if you piss yourself in this booth."
His cheeks turn scarlet, not knowing where to look anymore. "I didnt know where the bathroom was."
"It's fine." You look towards the back, pointing to a hallway. "Down there, there's a bathroom. Lock the door behind you and knock before you go in."
He looks a little angry when you say that, but gets up and sulks his way over to the hallway. At least he already knows basic manners, then.
You turn to Nina, a deep sigh escaping your lungs.
She snorts. "I can see you turning older from where you sit."
You kick her foot under the table. "I couldn't leave him. Can you check up on him when we get back to the Club? I don't imagine he'll want me poking around at him trying to find a wound that doesn't exist."
"Seeing as you bought me breakfast, I suppose I have to return the favor."
"Thank you." You grab her hand, the both of you squeezing. "I'm sorry for tricking you."
That makes her let out a belly laugh, a short "ha!" while her cheeks glow. "If your tricks always start out like this then you wont see me complaining. Besides," she looks towards the back of the diner, "he's a cutie. Wouldn't want him dropping dead anytime soon."
"I'm mostly just worried about how calm he is. I mean, would you be this fine with a stranger picking you off the street and taking you to get food?"
Nina sighs, giving your hand another light squeeze. "Im not sure he knows he should be afraid. Which is more of a curse than a blessing. He's what, six?"
"Probably? My oldest quess is seven, but with how small he is compared to how well-mannered he is he could be ten for all I know."
"He'll be fine. And so will you. Just take it as it comes as all the advice I can offer you. He's probably going through shock."
Leo slides back into the booth, hands slightly damp from what you hope is water and not urine. Somehow the food is already done within the short amount of time you order, and a waiter is sliding the dishes onto the table.
The omelet doesn't stand a chance in front of a young boy, and a quarter of it is nearly gone before the waiter leaves.
You spare a glance at Nina, who's looking at the rapidly disappearing slab of eggs with amazement."Well if he wasn't before he definitely is about to be."
-----
You tuck the kid into bed, freshly washed and with a clean set of clothes on his body. His hair was actually a much lighter shade of brown than you thought, and beneath all that grime rested a few freckles and an old scar.
Nina had checked him all over for any sort of injury, and found nothing besides a bit of high blood pressure, which wasn't surprising given he was absolutely starving.
A bit of food in him for the next few months should help tremendously, you think.
He just got done stuffing himself with some soup you made for you and the Crows, ignoring the fact that the Slat was filled to the brim with people who also wanted some. It was enough for them that you pointed to a box of recipes and some spare ingredients, cheers sounding throughout the building.
Kaz had took his and disappeared up to his room before you could say anything, still visibly irritated.
Nina thinks he's about six, which could be why he's relatively quick to trust.
"Are you sure he's not mad at me?" Leo asks, patting down a pillow you just sewed together and bring you out of your thoughts.
You squat by your bed, head in your hands. "Maybe," you sigh. "But it's not from anything you did. He just doesn't like to be mad at me so he's using it up on you."
"Thats not very kind."
You want to wrap this kid up tighter. "No, it's not." Instead you turn the lantern beside your bed down to a very low flame, creating a soft glow throughout the room. "But it's Kaz."
Leo takes that explanation like a champ, like he actually understands what that means, and let's his eyes fall shut.
You pick up the hot tea you made earlier, using your key to lock the door behind you as you make your way over to the attic.
Strangely, you feel anxious as you ascend the stairs. The tea shakes in your hands, rattling a little against the mismatched saucer plate. But you open his door and are met with the exact situation you predicted earlier, your shoulders relaxing.
"Tea will not stave my mood." He turns over a piece of paper, setting down an ink pen.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." You set the tea on his desk, avoiding the wells of the door. "I am simply offering a nice cup of tea for my nice boyfriend who is totally not about to shove his nice cane up my nice ass."
"The last place my cane will go is up your ass." He sets the page down, looking up at you. "That's incredibly unsanitary."
You root around on his desk, looking at the various papers he's marking and reading through. "And the blood isn't?
"Arguably easier to clean." He takes a packet out of your hand and replaces it with a different one. "Educate me as to why bringing a child into my club was a smart decision."
Immediately you deflate, falling back into a chair. You cringe when the wood digs into your bones.
Honestly, you already told him everything. He's small, food was available, you had space he could occupy, why not?
"I've already told you, Kaz. I had the ability, and I dont really see a reason why not. Why don't you educate me?"
He looks about ready to strangle something, exasperated sigh shoving it's way out of his lungs.
"What are you going to do on the ocassion he gets in the line of fire? How are you going to react if his parents find him? When they take him back? Can you say with absolute certainty that this child wont destroy you?" He stands with every question, looming over his desk with his hands splayed over the surface.
"Could you have said that about me when we got together?" You counter.
It's a rare thing, to see Kaz go quiet and contemplative.
You don't particularly enjoy it.
"I can't say that should any of those happen I won't be a little devastated. But is it really justifiable to push him out just because he has the potential to hurt me?" You stand too, the packet still in your hand. "As you said, he's my responsibility. When it comes to that, I'll take the fall. You don't have to be as worried as you are-"
"I do." He interrupts. "I do, because he's important to you. And unfortunately our moods and overall state of mind have an overwhelming effect on the other."
You take a moment to look at him, purple blotches under his eyes and his scars highlighted by angle of the light. He's exhausted, and it kind of hurts to realize some of that might have been your fault.
But you're not sorry.
"He thinks you hate him."
"I don't know enough about him to properly hate him."
You smile as he sits down, bringing the cup of tea with him. He's far more relaxed than before, and is just this side of tired that you see his eyelids begin to weigh down, a deep breath is all it takes for the tension to leave his brows completely as the warm beverage meets his mouth. You swear you hear him moan when he feels just how warm it still is.
"Thats what I told him, but I don't think he believes me."
"Suck to suck. Look at the packet."
It's rather thin, you realize, black string tying the pages together. On the front, which you skimmed and didn't really read earlier, it says "Tips for new Adoptees".
On the inside are various tables and notes Kaz seems to have scrounged together, his messy cursive completely filling the pages to the point you have trouble figuring out where a thought ends and another begins.
"Huh." Is all you say, chest heavy and feet scuffing the floor.
You dont... you don't know what to say. You're reading something about how much a child costs but you're not really taking it in. It's more than you could have ever imagined.
Kaz sets the tea down. "I imagine Leo isn't going to be the last. You know where the extra paper is."
He makes your heart so warm. It makes it hard to be annoyed at him for doubting you.
The stairs leading up to the attic creak, and immediately you and Kaz are on guard, your hand moving to your back where little daggers decorate your belt.
Leo's face pops into the room, and you immediately relax, an exasperated sigh exiting your lips. "Hey, Leo. What's going on?"
He inches into the room, hands tentatively still holding onto he door. "I feel bad about going to sleep in your bed. And I wanted to say sorry for doing what I did, Mr. Kaz."
Kaz quirks a brow. "And what is that?"
"Um..." Leo freezes, looking away. "I don't know."
Immediately you look at Kaz, raising your own brow. He gives you a look that you know would kill you if it could, and you smile.
"Leo, come here and meet Kaz." You wave him over, setting the packet aside.
He hesitates, making a move to walk into the room. But when his eyes land on Kaz, he stops.
"He doesnt bite." You try and crack a joke, and while he doesnt laugh, he does drop his shoulders and release the iron grip from the doors side.
Kaz stands and walks around the table, limp pronounced as usual without his cane as Leo closes the door and makes his way across the room.
They stare at eachother for a few moments, coming just a few feet apart behind your chair. You watch their eyes scan over the other, Leo eyeing Kaz's limp and little scars and Kaz inspecting Leo' clothes and the way his ear is slightly folded inwards.
Surprisingly, Kaz offers his gloved hand first, and Leo takes it almost instantly. You watch as they share a firm handshake, nodding at eachother.
"Please to make your anquaintance." There's a slight fumble to Leo's words, and it takes everything in your power to not interrupt their moment and correct him.
But Kaz just nods, releasing their hands. "Pleasure is all mine."
You smile, the little interaction forever cemented into your soul.
Leo definitely isn't going to be the last kid coming through here. Not when Kaz let's a smile pull at his lips just so, and makes a pen appear out of thin air for Leo to look at.
For now, however, this is enough.
∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘
Tags:
@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @a-candle-maker @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kylie18 @morrigan-crowmwell
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thesuntomyshadows · 3 days
Text
Y/N: I… I love you.
Kaz: Well, don’t.
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rubysunnday · 3 months
Text
to leave you behind
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a/n: let's not talk about how long its been or the fact this is likely (maybe) the last time i'll write for s&b...
summary: reader takes jurda parem instead of nina and kaz is losing it
To Y/N, they'd all accepted their imminent deaths far too easily. They'd done the impossible, they'd broken into the Ice Court. They were not about to die in a tank, a few hundred metres from the Ferolind and freedom.
She glanced over at Kaz. They'd hardly spoken since he'd fainted in the prison wagon. He'd been avoiding her gaze whenever they'd been together and barely acknowledging her existence.
Y/N was growing tired of it. She loved him, she'd come to accept that truth whilst wafting through the crowds at the Ice Court. Perhaps, deep down, hidden and suppressed, he loved her too.
But she had been waiting for too long. Her heart was aching and her mind was tired of the not knowing, of the constant hatred and love all at once.
Y/N looked from Kaz to the rest of their group. She loved them all in different ways. She trusted them all and knew that she'd gladly die for them all.
Which made the next decision that bit easier.
She turned to Kuwei. He noticed her gaze and looked back at her. Y/N didn't speak. The boys eyes widened.
"You don't understand -"
"I understand, Kuwei," Y/N said softly.
Kuwei reached into his pocket and pulled out the little leather pouch that had begun this whole heist.
"Y/N, what are you -" Kaz trailed off as his eyes fell upon the pouch, its rim stained with a rust-coloured powder.
"You're all out of tricks, Kaz," Y/N said, taking the pouch from Kuwei. She shrugged, a sad smile on her face. "What else is there?"
"No, Y/N, don't be ridiculous," Inej warned.
"Personally I think this is my greatest idea yet," Y/N replied, trying to hide her shaking hands. "Besides, not everyone gets addicted after the first dose."
"You can't risk it, Y/N!" Inej exclaimed.
"No, Y/N, she's right, it's not worth it," Nina said. "I'll do it."
"No," Matthias said, shaking his head furiously.
Y/N laughed tiredly. "I have no one to fight for me, Nina," she said softly, trying not to look at Kaz. "You do."
The voice echoed out from amongst the Fjerdan ranks, counting down, getting ever closer to the end. Y/N took a deep breath in. She mentally counted to three and then turned to look at Kaz.
She was aware of everyone else around them trying not to look. Y/N shifted her weight from right to left, bringing herself closer to Kaz. Their elbow brushed.
Y/N raised her hand and gently placed it against Kaz's cheek. She let her thumb trail over his cheekbone. He flinched, his eyes closing tightly. Y/N swallowed the disappointment.
"I expect ten percent of your cut for this, Kaz," she whispered.
Before anyone could realise what was happening, before Kaz could ground himself back into reality, Y/N tipped the parem into her mouth, forcing herself to swallow it in one stodgy swallow.
Instantly, her blood began to thrum, power surging through it, the fire making it grow hotter. She could hear her heartbeat, pounding away over and over and over again. Her cheeks were burning, sweat was running down the back of her neck.
Her fire was screaming to be released. All it needed was one spark.
No.
It didn't need any spark.
Y/N could feel it at her fingertips. It throbbed.
Her gaze moved across the Fjerdan soldiers. She could feel the gunpowder waiting to be lit. She could hear the pistols being loaded and cocked. She could feel the flicker of the flames dancing off the torches they held.
She tilted her head to the left. She focused her gaze on a bomb filled with gun powder.
Her fingers snapped. The fire shot across the space between them and hit the fuse, burning it up in seconds.
The bomb exploded.
Orange light lit up her face, she could feel the heat burning her skin. It was thrilling.
Everything was burning around her and Y/N could still feel fire burning through her veins, desperate to be released into the night.
Y/N took a deep breath in, letting the cold air burning her nose as she did so. As she exhaled, fire flowed from her fingers, lighting up the sky as it soared across and over the soldiers, sending them all scattering to the sides and into the water.
"Drive," Y/N said softly, looking ahead, staring at the fire as it burnt its way along the ground.
Kaz looked at her, a hint of fear in his eyes.
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In the middle of the True Sea, there was no fire. Y/N's desire to burn the whole world to the ground had faded to a dull ache. Instead, it'd been replaced be a reluctant sense of acceptance for what was to come.
She was sat on the main deck of the boat, her legs dangling over the edge. It was quiet out here. Everyone seemed to be avoiding her and, when they did run into her, giving her pitiful looks.
Y/N sighed, tilting her head back, letting the ocean spray hit her skin.
"I'm presuming you can't just burn it out your system."
She didn't even react. "No. I'll be burning myself from the inside out."
Kaz stepped forward and pivoted on his heel so he had his back to the railing. He leant backwards, holding his cane loosely in his hand.
"I won't take anymore," Y/N said quietly.
"I wasn't going to mention it," Kaz replied.
"Then why are you here?" Y/N asked, turning her head so that she was looking at him.
Kaz didn't speak. He didn't acknowledge that Y/N had spoken for a while. Eventually, he looked down at her.
"I wanted to talk before it begun."
Y/N nodded, turning back to look at the water churning as they passed. "I fear you're too late."
Kaz glanced down. Her hand rested on the railings, shaking even as it sat there.
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As the sun rose, the aches set in. Everything hurt, from her jaw to her toes. All Y/N could do was lie there, shaking, trying not to cry. Inej sat with her for a few hours, her cold fingers combing through her hair, massaging the back of her neck.
Nina, they had decided, was going to be a last resort. If she absolutely had to, she would lower Y/N's heartbeat enough that she went into a coma, allowing her body to work through the drug without causing her too much pain.
Every candle on the ship had been extinguished. Y/N could feel them burning even if they were the other end of the ship from her.
A few hours later, her skin began to burn. She lay on the bed, wearing the thinnest shirt she could find, unable to tolerate anything else touching her. All the blankets had been thrown to the side and her shirt was soaked in sweat. Y/N kept her eyes shut, trying to fall asleep, trying to pretend that what was happening to her wasn't happening.
When the tremors began, Matthias was sat beside her. In her delirous state she'd vaguely realised that they were all taking turns to sit with her, to watch her.
They're waiting for you to die.
"Do you need me to get Nina?" Matthias asked, gently dabbing her sweat covered forehead with a wet cloth.
Y/N shook her head. "No... not, not yet."
"Do you -"
"No," Y/N said, clutching her hands into fists. "No, I can't fall down into it, I can't Matthias, I can't."
"Okay, okay," Matthias whispered, dipping the cloth back into the water and then placing it back on her forehead.
Y/N didn't remember Matthias leaving. One minute he was next to her, the next he was gone and -
"Kaz?" Y/N whispered, turning her head to look at him.
"Y/N."
He'd undressed to just his shirt sleeves, rolling them up to his elbows. He still had his gloves on and his cane was resting against the wall next to him. But he was there.
"Why... what -"
"We're taking turns," Kaz said, his voice hoarse and quiet. "It was mine."
Y/N smiled but, as she did so, the aches overwhelmed her. Her bones felt like they might burst through her skin and her head was pounding, being squeezed through a vice. Her skin was burning, her face was on fire.
She groaned, arching her back as she tried to escape the pain, to free her sweat covered back from the mattress.
A cold hand landed on her arm, pushing her back onto the bed. Y/N groaned, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her heart was pounding, she could hear it.
"Kaz, I can't - can't do this, I can't -"
"Don't give up," Kaz said, leaning forward. His hands were bare, holding her arm down and combing through her hair. "Don't, promise me."
"I can't, Kaz, I can't," Y/N sobbed. "Please, please just -"
"No, don't you dare," Kaz replied, his voice firm. "You're not dying on my watch, Y/N."
Y/N cried, her back arching again, her nails digging into her palm.
The door opened. Kaz looked over, watching as Nina quietly walked in.
"I could hear her heartbeat getting faster," Nina replied, shutting the door behind her. "I wanted to check..."
Kaz looked back at Y/N. He turned to Nina. "Please, Zenik," he said quietly. "Just do it."
Nina stepped forward and sat on the edge of the bed. She took her wrist and pressed her fingers to her pulse point.
"Kaz," Y/N said, whimpering. "Kaz?"
"I'm here," he said, leaning forward. "I'm here."
"Stay till the end," she whispered, her tremors slowing down, her eyes growing unfocused.
"Y/N -"
"Promise me."
"I promise you," Kaz whispered, hand stroking her hair back from her face. He watched her eyes close as Nina gradually slowed her heart down. Y/N's eyes closed and her grip on Kaz's hand weakened, her body going limp as Nina put her body into a coma.
Kaz held tight to Y/N's hand. "I'm not going anywhere, Y/N."
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ashessonfire · 1 year
Note
Hi, I just gotta say I really love your stories and how detailed and eloquent your writing is.How about a Kaz Brekker x reader angst where a heist gone wrong results to Kaz (temporarily) losing his memory and reverting back to old Kaz, who is not in a relationship with reader, and he keeps pushing the reader away 'til reader gives up 'cause of something Kaz said or a scenario where they think Kaz is better without them♡♡♡thank you for listening HAHAHAHA
'Forgotten' - Kaz Brekker x Reader
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Prompt - Kaz Brekker's plans rarely fail, but what happens when a heist goes incredibly wrong, and the Bastard of the Barrel forgets you completely? - Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader (established relationship) - Warnings: Depictions of violence, gunshots, Kaz's trauma / memories, Kaz being an asshole but not really his fault??? ANGST ANGST ANGST Part two found here! A/N: Thank you all so much for the amount of support and love i am getting for my first few posts! I will definitely write a part two if you want it, its a massive cliffhanger but would be WAY too long to do it in one go. JUST PURE ANGST IM SORRY T-T
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Kaz’s plans often fell victim to unseen circumstances, however, small hinderances to his meticulously planned out schemes rarely affected the outcome. Yet even Kaz himself had to admit, that this plan had gone spectacularly wrong.
From incorrect blueprints for the building, to four times the number of armed guards than initially expected, all the group could do was try and escape relatively unharmed. The crows were splintered into six breathless individuals, winding their way through narrow streets to try and loosen their attackers’ grips. Sprays of bullets and the glints of knives rushed past each one of them, only narrowly missing their targets.
That was until Kaz felt a searing pain in his leg, a sudden slash just under the back of his knee, sending fire trailing throughout his body. He groaned deeply, internally damning the attacker for not only striking his target, but also managing to hit Kaz on his already bad leg. The pain from the wound caused it to buckle, giving him a clear path straight towards the glistening cobblestone of Ketterdam’s streets.
Before he could fully feel the impact, a hand tightly gripped the roots of his hair, pulling his face parallel to the grinning pursuer, evidently pleased with his achievement of apprehending the Bastard of the Barrel.
Before Kaz could use his cane to fight back, it was violently ripped from his grasp, another set of hands clutching his own behind his back, rendering him completely immobile. Suddenly, the knife was yanked out of his leg, earning a surprised growl from Kaz, his leg leaking onto the stone beneath him a deep ruby shade.
“Well, that wasn’t so hard, was it? I’m afraid to say I am more than a little underwhelmed, Dirtyhands,” The leader of the group sneered, earning a howl of laughter from his gang, who seemed to be forming from the shadows of the abandoned street, emerging in staggering numbers.
Despite his predicament, a thought flashed through his mind, calming his increasingly alarmed state. “Perhaps they abandoned the others in favour of catching me,” Kaz silently contemplated, feeling a light sense of relief at the possibility his crew would make it back to the slat alive.
Especially you.
However, the relief was knocked out of him as swiftly as it came, along with all the air in his chest.  A brutal kick sent him reeling backwards into the chest of the man behind, followed by a series of punches which Kaz was defenceless against. The assault continued, blood pouring into his eyes from an open wound on his forehead, blinding him to the onslaught of attacks that followed, as he rapidly tried blinking to wash away the crimson from his vision.
The ambush subsided, giving him enough time to throw his head back and remove some of the steadily flowing substance from his sight. Murmurs sounded around him, but Kaz couldn’t decipher what was being stated, the ringing from the punches obscuring the sound around him, leaving him underwater, drowning in his own blood.
Despite Kaz’s senses becoming increasingly obstructed, a flare of panic welled up within him, as he spotted something brassy glinting through the sheet of red, catching the light from the street lanterns surrounding them. The unknown object began its descent towards him, the glint becoming a beam which shone through the curtain of crimson, until it was just close enough for Kaz to make out the flash of a crow’s eye, and the curve of a beak.
“How ironic,” Kaz thought to himself, “Being killed by my own cane.”
The scarlet curtain closed on Kaz, the blow ending the performance the gang was putting on, leaving their victim in a world full of darkness, the feeling of the waves washing over him and pulling him deeper into the abyss.
The last thing he heard was the sound of a voice.
 Jordie’s?
The concern that radiated from the sound brought him back to memories of the farm, where Kaz would climb too far up a willow’s branches, and his brother would have to call him down. Or perhaps when they had arrived in Ketterdam and Kaz had thought it comedic to hide in a dimly lit street, blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurked in its gloom.
However, as Kaz slipped deeper into the ocean, the voice getting further away with each of his slowing heartbeats, a tinge of warmth hit his chest, signalling that this wasn’t Jordie.
 It was you.
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Your adrenaline had served you well, since shortly after you were separated from the crows, familiar edges of buildings and glints of neighboring signs entered your vision. Using this to your advantage, you utilized your familiarity of the area to hide, slipping into the shadows, melting into the gloom of Ketterdam's alleys. Soon, all five of your pursuers had bullets lodged in their throats unable to pinpoint where they were being shot from. Each fatal blow perfectly central just as Jesper had taught you.
Whilst your mind began to settle at the lack of immediate threat, something burred within your core pulled on your heartstrings, pointing your unsettling fear towards Kaz.
You had taken great care to note which routes the other crows had disappeared down, for insurance if they did not return to the slat within the agreed time. However, as you fled, your heart had plummeted at the sight of at least ten men chasing down your boyfriend.
Before your mind could register your actions, you were sprinting back in the direction you had come, weaving through the bodies littering your path. You quickly reached the alley Kaz had fled down, and you bolted through the streets you estimated Kaz would take.
As he was your boyfriend, you had become accustomed to imagining what he would do, or how he would act in certain situations, helping you decode his behaviour when he barricaded himself from you on troublesome days.
The sound of bone cracking and pained grunts pulled you away from your thoughts, turning a sharp corner just in time to see the head of Kaz’s precious cane colliding with his temple, the light visibly fading from his eyes due to the blow.
Rage swept through you, controlling your actions as your mind failed to synchronise with your body. Rushing forward, you shot wildly, achieving at least three separate screams from the men before you. Before the others were made fully aware of your presence, you had a serrated knife plunging into a further two, leaving fatal wounds which would slowly bring about their demise. Once every one of group were flooding the streets with their blood, your gaze shifted to Kaz.
Lying in a growing pool of blood, your boyfriend’s face was swollen, covered in deep gashes that littered his sharp features. The dim light from the lanterns overhead cast murky shadows over the wounds, highlighting the gruesome fate Kaz had endured. From somewhere far in the distance, you heard your voice screaming his name, begging for him to wake up, at some point you had even rushed over to him and began caressing his fractured face to wake him.
Allowing a deep inhale of Ketterdam’s air, you collected yourself, imagining that Kaz were conscious and scolding you for your slow reactions and the ‘weakness’ you were portraying. Laying your head against his frigid chest, you held your own breath, only releasing the growing tension when a faint heartbeat pounded against your ear.
Silently apologising for your next actions, you hooked both of Kaz’s arms underneath your own and used all your force to haul him back to the Slat.
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For several days following the attack, the group had come to a collective conclusion that their boss was severely concussed, so much so that he was barely conscious for more than a few minutes at a time.
Throughout the harrowing days, you never left his side, constantly aiding his body in a frail attempt to bring him back to the conscious realm, and to you.
The crows stopped by often to assist you, compelled to keep at least one half of the pair in a decent condition, Nina bringing hot food, Inej wiping down your face with a warm cloth, and Jesper or Wylan keeping you company for an hour or so, brightening the mood wit =h jokes or stories.
Time seemed almost to cease its movements, with even the smallest of things, like the rain rolling down the frosted glass in Kaz’s room, or the flickering of the candles illuminating the slat, appearing sluggish to you.
That was, only until Kaz woke up.
A bout of coughs awoke you from a light sleep, sending alarm bells ringing through your head, echoing off the walls and overwhelming you. Upon seeing the straining eyes blinking against the intensity of the candlelight, the roar swiftly subsided.
“Kaz,” you breathed out, barely audible to both you and him.
You gently reached out to feel the heat from his forehead, an action not dissimilar to the gentle brushes of his locks you would often settle on when he was too engrossed in scheming to provide you attention. However, your movements were stopped dead in their tracks when a voice sliced through the air.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kaz seethed.
Although his voice was hoarse from his absence over the last few days, a clear threat laid deeply within his sentence, piercing your chest with a thousand knives. “Kaz, I’m just checking your temperature, my love,” you offered gently, praying to the Saints that whatever malice behind your partners eyes was due to his condition, and not a genuine fury.
Instead of removing the knives from your heart, he twisted them painfully, glaring directly at you as he warned lowly, “I am not sure how long I have been out for, but I severely doubt it would be enough time for a word like ‘love’ to be directed towards me. Especially by the likes of you. Go and get Nina, you are of no use to me.”
Your breath hitched painfully in your throat, blocking the air trying to travel both in and out, glittering eyes locked directly with his as your mind struggled to process the disgust that laced his voice. Your body battled as it tried to force another ‘Kaz’ out into the world, but he intruded before the sound escaped.
“Leave now, or I will dismiss you for insubordination. Go,” Kaz stated, bitterness being the only discernible emotion portraying through his words, his chest filling with an emotion so strong he couldn’t name it, deciding to settle on disgust. Your eyes welled up, clouding your vision as you cautiously left the room, shock coursing through your body and stiffening your every movement, causing shivers to wrack your body as your blood froze to ice.
Your mind seemed to leave your body, taking little note of going to Nina and sending her up to Kaz, or the other crows fawning over your broken state, clearly panicking further when your only form of response was a stiff silence. It seemed safer to hide behind glossy eyes and blank looks, than to decipher what had caused Kaz’s reaction.
It was only an hour later when Nina came downstairs, shaking you out of your daze with words that did a far more agonizing job than Kaz’s knives would.
She downright shot you point blank in the heart.
“Y/N, I’m so sorry, it seems like the blow has affected his memory. I can’t tell the severity yet, but it seems that he has no recollection of you two as, well you know. ‘You two,’” Nina bit out, voice cracking as her heart shattered for you, who now stood shaking before the group, the slightest breeze threatening to barrel you over.
You dismissed them with a fractured smile, barring yourself within the confines of your room, knives drawing blood within your heart, twisting excruciatingly each time a shuffle or a creak would sound from the room above yours.
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Your perseverance impressed not only the rest of the crows, but yourself too. You didn’t allow yourself to wallow in your self-pity for long, determined to regain Kaz’s memory despite his protests and frustration with you. You had already molded a loving relationship with the deadliest man in Ketterdam, you figured that you would be able to withstand doing it once more.
Enduring the blade-like words was the simplest part, however it was the emotion behind them that faltered you each time you were faced with him. He always his behind a face of insults or harsh syllables, but you had decoded their meanings long ago, the sentiment behind each radiating through in a way in which only you could detect.
As he recovered, you remained vigilant to his every need, bringing him herbal tea infused with medicine or offering fresh bandages to change when the blood seeped through the last.
Each encounter ended with tears streaming drearily down your face, matching the raindrops that hit against the pains of the slat, each impact slamming against your heart. As you persisted, the feeling Kaz felt towards you grew, the emotion intensifying with each glimpse at you.
He couldn't stand it.
Rage bubbled within him at your attempts at kindness, the insults increasing in harshness and malice each time you dared to provoke him.
Yet you bounced back, offering him delicate smiles, compassionate gestures, and kind words. However Kaz couldn't bear it any longer, the weight in his chest obscuring his breathing and brooding for too long, consuming him from the inside out.
Despite his unbroken hatred that radiated towards you, he seemed to gradually be regaining his memories, allowing Jesper's jokes or Nina's teasing to go as far as they would before the accident. It caused you great anguish, and shamefully jealousy, at his return to every one of his crows.
But you.
The door to his office was given a light few taps, before Kaz permitted you entry, knowing from the weight of the knocks it had to be you. Although the others seemed far more wary of him than usual, there was something almost gentle about how you acted towards him, making it easier for Kaz to single you out from the rest.
You entered with a stack of papers, a vast collection of work that had accumulated whilst he regained his health. Biting back his usual snarky insults and remarks dripping in poison, Kaz watched you intently, deadly intentions practically radiating from his gaze.
Setting down the pile, you stepped back silently, too exhausted to bear the weight of another one of his lashings, each word cutting you and leaving you bleed out, not dissimilarly to how you found him that night.
The silence in his office was impenetrable, the air becoming impossible to breath through the tension that radiated between you, with only one of you being able to decipher what it truly was. Your mind was so focused on the intake of air, you almost missed the hand that extended towards you, the closest he had allowed you since his memory had stolen you from him.
Clutched in his grasp was a simple white letter, signatures coating the outside of the envelope, and something folded, protruding from within the packet itself.
The silence became deafening, the pounding of your heart like a bird trapped in a cage infinitely too small for its prisoner, crashing into the walls in an attempt to escape. As your hand made contact with the offering, Kaz spoke in a tone you had never heard before.
He simply stated, "From tomorrow, at four bells, you will be gone. A job in Ravka requires someone of your skillset, so you will go. If you fail to comply then you will no longer be welcomed here. I have tolerated your incessant troubling for long enough, you have no true place here until you finally realize how burdensome you truly are."
Your heart stopped.
The air around you liquified, slowly filling your lungs with fluid and choking you, drowning you silently as Kaz looked on with an indifferent scowl, an eyebrow raised in question at your astonishment.
The tears streamed, your body screaming for air, for comfort, for him. But it couldn't seem to attain any one of them, instead pushing all its strength into forming the the right words to pierce Kaz Brekker's impenetrable façade.
"You still don't remember?" you coughed out, "After the incident who was it who rushed back to you, dragged your half-dead body across the Barrel and into the slat. Who stayed by your side until they were forced to leave each night? Do you not have any recollection, not of the memories, but of how you felt for me? Surely I didn't mean that little to you," your voice wavered heavily whilst you gasped out the final line.
The tears formed rugged streams across your cheeks, glinting in the dim candlelight from Kaz's desk, highlighting the pain you had hidden from him for weeks. It was now his turn to be stunned, the words echoing around his mind but not seeming to form into coherent meanings.
Despite Kaz's astonishment at your outburst, it wasn't enough.
Wasn't enough for him to stop you from walking away, or enough to whisper your name louder in confusion and uncertainty as your form dissolved into the hallway .
Surely this was what he was supposed to do?
Yet deep inside his plagued heart your words resounded, filling Kaz with a sense of dread, the waves that usually consumed him began to swell, drowning him in his seat just as he had done to you earlier.
He was certain on one thing, that the gaping pain in his chest which he had presumed was disgust, or perhaps even hatred, had not disappeared. Had not lightened as he had prayed it would if you just vanished.
No. Instead it had intensified into something that swallowed him whole, dragging him further into the bitter ocean than ever before, waves crashing fiercely above his head.
The emotion consumed him as his breathing deepened, heart both simultaneously stopping and racing into oblivion, as it finally dawned on him. Somewhere within that feeling a small spark remained glowing, something that felt warm and familiar which he had repressed.
Something that resembled care, or affection, or...
Love.
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Tag list: @animalistic00 @whos6claire
Click here for part two <3
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5sospenguinqueen · 2 months
Text
Y/N: I get this weird feeling in my chest when I see you.
Kaz:
Y/N:
Kaz: Is it heartburn? I could ask Nina to try and help?
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undiscovered-horizon · 11 months
Text
"Four Crows Investigation" - Kaz Brekker x Reader
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[vulgar language]
[Part 2 - Lovebirds' Outfox]
☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾
Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi
SUMMARY: After Nina makes a passing comment about Brekker’s heartbeat, three crows join her in an investigation to uncover the true nature of your relationship with Kaz.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.4k
>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<
Sitting around the table, leaning forward in a secretive manner, the four Crows look nothing short of a conspiracy. Their appearance is in no way deceptive - that’s exactly the reason for their meeting. Nina looks between Jesper’s and Wylan’s shoulders, checking whether you and Kaz are in any way suspicious of their gathering. For now, you look a little too preoccupied with each other. Time for the final conference.
The Heartrender leans even further towards her friends, looking between them with a questioning gaze. She seems to be the most excited about this ‘secretive investigation’, as she called it a week ago, but that should not come as a surprise - all of this has been her idea from start to finish. The moment she noticed Kaz’s heartbeat significantly pick up when you showed up in a ball gown in an attempt to mix in with the immorally wealthy crowd at the banquet, Nina simply had to know more. Her friends, although reluctant at first, joined the scheme out of their own meddling.
“So, what did you manage to find out?” She’s trying to keep her voice quiet but the sheer excitement makes it difficult.
“I still don’t understand why we’re doing this,” Wylan stutters out while shaking his head gently. He may be part of a crime syndicate now but spying on his friends, and his boss, just seems too far.
“Because we care about them?” Jesper asks with fake worry in his voice. Then, a devious smile appears on his face. “And we’re morbidly curious.”
“Can’t we just ask them, then?”
“As if either of them is going to say something,” Inej grunts. Knowing both of you fairly well, she never expected a straightforward question to get anything outside of a snarky comment or a side-eye.
Nina impatiently taps her hand on the table. “Alright, who goes first?”
╚ Jesper’s Evidence  ╝
He knows Kaz is going to get angry the moment he walks through the door but, at the same time, Jesper’s kind of out of options. As much as he hates to admit it to himself and definitely will not do it aloud, he’s facing an impasse.
The moment he pushes the door open, your and Kaz’s eyes snap towards him. He makes a note of your shoulders - brushing against one another as you’re standing over scattered papers, a little too close for practicality or for the closeness to be accredited to accident. You’re definitely giving the impression that he walked in at an inconvenient moment.
But Jesper is good at bluffing, never giving away that he noticed the thought-provoking lack of space between you. “Carliogne won’t talk unless he sees the contract you signed with Bruglione,” he informs. “His reasoning is that we’re probably trying to fuck him over.”
Kaz stares at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. “We are,” he finally answers.
“Well, he doesn’t need to know that for now, does he?”
“It makes sense,” you speak up. Pondering, you nod to yourself. “If he sees the contract, he’ll become less cautious and playing him should be even easier. Just wait a second,” you wave your hand at Jesper, “I think I put it in the bottom drawer.”
The moment you crouch behind the desk, Jesper’s eyes catch movement - Kaz is covering the edge of the table over your head with his hand. Considering that he’s looking at papers in the opposite direction, he might not even be aware of this little habit. The gunslinger stifles a smile. Nina is going to love this.
Soon, you stand back up at the protective hand reaches to flip through a wad of documents as though nothing has happened. Extending your arm towards Jesper, you offer him the folded contract between your two fingers.
“Please, don’t get it stained.”
“Can’t make promises,” he says with a cheeky smile as he snatches the paper from you.
Jesper hears your groan right before he closes the door behind himself.
╚ Wylan’s Evidence  ╝
Wylan rarely got ‘field work’ aside from setting up explosives. The out-of-ordinary occasions were stake-outs, when he’d sit in one place for hours on end waiting for something to happen, having only Jesper’s company to pass the time - not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, that’s the only part that makes those ‘patrol duties’ bearable.
 Although he feels uneasy creepily watching, he’s supposed to wait for an agreed-on sign to carry out his part in the plan. And with Jesper gone to the bathroom, the responsibility of staying vigilant is his only. Sitting on the carriage bench, he has a good view of the street but most of his attention surrounds a certain table at a boulangerie near the junction. You and Kaz are doing a great job at looking common - just drinking coffee, chatting, completely run-of-the-mill people and definitely not hardened criminals ready to call their companions to action when their prey is in sight.
Wylan suddenly sits up, hardly believing the scene unfolding before his eyes: you offer Kaz your bagel and he just… bites it. No glares, no scowls, he just takes a bite and you continue the conversation. Maybe Nina was right and something is up.
The carriage shakes slightly as Jesper gets back on it. “What did I miss?” he asks in an upbeat voice.
╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝
It’s the middle of the night but Inej rarely works at other times. Only one thing stands between her and the comfort of her bed - Kaz. She’s well-aware that he’s still going to be working at this hour, making her wonder once more: when does he rest?
Kaz seems to be expecting her as he doesn’t even flinch when she barges into his office. He just looks up at her for a moment, only to return to writing something. Inej is about to tell him what Lorenzzo Carliogne had been up to during the day, when her eyes focus on a surprising singularity: the daybed standing in the corner of the office, used as an additional shelf or a desk most of the time, is occupied. First, she realizes that it’s you sleeping on it but then another, a much more interesting detail, catches her eye in the dim candlelight of the room - you’re covered with a coat that undoubtedly looks like it belongs to Kaz.
“I take it there’s a reason you’re here at this hour?” Brekker brings her attention back to himself.
“Yes,” she starts, sparing you one last glance before looking at Kaz, “Carliogne lives with his wife and three children. Staff comes in through a separate pair of doors, only the main chef and butler have keys to it. There’s a rotation in guards during lunch.”
“Good,” he answers. Kaz looks up at Inej but again, it’s just for a moment - his focus is soon directed at the papers in front of him.
A silence falls. The thought to inquire about you, the daybed and his coat passes her thoughts but an instinct dissuades her from doing so. Because realistically, what sort of answer would Kaz give her anyway? It’s better to spare herself the snark and just go to bed.
The four friends look between each other, curious whether all of them came to the same conclusion. Tense excitement hangs in the air. There is a certain aspect of juvenile nosyness that entices them, making this whole over-the-top operation fun and not just a gossip convention.
A pout twists Nina’s face. It would have looked sad if it wasn’t for her raised eyebrows, making her expression more compassionate than woeful. “They’re so in love it’s kind of embarrassing,” she announces.
Three pairs of eyes follow her pitiful gaze to the faraway table where you’re sitting with Kaz, oblivious to the interest the Crows have in you. It looks like you’re retelling him a story, gesturing wildly with one of your hands, while the other is kept on the table, underneath his gloved fingers. Kaz is just nodding along, answering something shortly from time to time. 
“Just look at them,” Jesper says with a sense of misguided pride as though he had some contribution in the makings of the couple. He’s shaking his head with amusement. “How could we ever had any doubts?”
“Do you think they know that we know?” Wylan asks quietly.
Inej shrugs. “I don’t think they care.”
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