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not-magdi · 7 months

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Little Update

Summary: Lando gives his fans a little update about live

Words: 785

Warnings: None just pure fluff

A/N

It's my first time writing for Lando I hope you like it <3

Three weeks ago, you and Lando welcomed a little baby boy to the world. The both of you were pretty open about the pregnancy, posting pictures and stories all the time.

The fans loved watching your baby bump grow. And the interactions between Lando and the baby you two shared over your socials.

But since the baby was born, you two went MIA for a while and haven't posted a thing. Everybody started to speculate that the baby was born, but nobody had seen the baby yet.

You and Lando needed some time for yourselves to adjust to the new situation, but after some time, you slowly got into a routine.

Now, the two of you wanted to let the world know about your little bundle of joy. Lando wanted to do something special, that would resemble you and him.

Something that made you and Lando who you are, are your infamous streams. So Lando wanted to stream with your baby and introduce him to the world. You were a bit sceptical at first, not wanting to parade around with your baby in public so much.

But Lando assured you that everything would be alright and that he would be extra careful if it would get too much for little baby Henry.

So now Lando was sitting in his gaming chair with his son sound asleep next to him in his crib.

You wanted to stay with them and watch, but you had a hard time staying awake and chose to take a nap, still recovering from labour.

Lando took a deep breath and started the stream but had the camera still turned off. In the next few minutes, thousands of people joined his stream.

Seeing the numbers rise made Lando's heart beat faster, and he started overthinking his idea again. Nevertheless, he turned on his microphone and greeted his viewers.

"Hey, guys! … Guys, calm down. I know the camera's turned off. Be patient."

His heart melted as he read the messages his fans sent him, asking how he was doing and if you were doing okay. After laughing at a few messages, his heart rate slowed down and he started to feel more relaxed.

"So guys, I know me and Y/N haven't been online for some time. In our defence, we had a good reason."

Taking a deep breath to collect himself, he took the sleeping baby into his arms and turned on the camera.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Henry Norris."

He grabbed Henry's little hand with his finger and waved at the camera. The chat went completely feral at that, congratulating the two of them on your little family.

Henry slowly woke up after he felt his dad's presence. Looking up at Lando with his big blue eyes, which he got from you, he cuddled himself deeper into Lando's arms.

Realising that his son had woken up, he cooed at him and kissed his little forehead to settle him again.

"Chat, look at him, he's so cute. Baby, you wanna say hello?"

Hearing Lando use his baby voice and cuddle with his son made the chat go crazy. Messages of love and adoration flooded the chat.

"How is Y/N doing?" Lando read out loud.

"Y/N's doing quite good. She is currently sleeping. I try to help her as much as I can. She needs to recover fast because I'm kind of lost without her."

Chuckling at the end of his sentence, he read a few more questions until he heard the door to his office open and close.

"Aww, chat, look who decided to join us!"

You waved at the camera as you took your place behind Lando, kissing his messy curls.

"The chat kept asking for you," Lando mumbled into your neck as he nuzzled himself into you.

"Aww, really? Hi chat!"

You greet the chat and cuddle yourself next to Lando. The two of you kept answering questions until you felt Henry squirm in Lando's arms.

"Chat, we're going to end the stream now. Little muppet's gonna have his dinner now."

Taking Henry from Lando's arms, you head out, getting ready to feed him. Lando comes right after you, talking to the chat for a bit.

The sight that greets him in the living room, is a sight he could never get sick of.

The love of his life, with his son in her arms, feeding him in their own little home.

#dad! lando norris #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris oneshot #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris #lando x reader #lando imagine #dad!lando

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brnesblogposts · 2 months

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Stuck

bucky barnes x reader

a/n miscommunication & close proximity trope is all i’m gonna say, it’s very fluffy once well- read it and find out reblogs appreciated!!!

“You’ve gotta be shitting me” Bucky speaks under his breath, frustration evident in his body language and tone. A feedback sound started on the speakers on the ferris wheel.

“Ladies and gentlemen there seems to be some technical issues with the ferris wheel, remain calm and stay seated and we should have it back up and running soon”

You heard a heavy sigh escape from Bucky as his head hung back in defeat.

“They said it’ll be fixed soon, won’t have to be stuck with me for long Buck” Trying to cut the tension that sat between him and yourself only earned a side glance from the man beside you.

You looked down to the car just beneath you “STEVE, NAT!! ARE YOU GUYS OKAY??!” Their heads whipping towards you as you spoke at a far too loud volume.

“WE’RE OKAY! YOU?” Natasha replied back and you gave her a thumbs up, her and Steve getting back to bickering and giggling about whatever they were talking about. Meanwhile you were sat next to Mr Grumpy-

“Can you stop moving,” he spat out without looking at you. Bold of you to assume you were getting somewhere with him, even on the brink of considering him a ‘friend’ but that idea was shot down quickly.

“I’m not moving, it’s probably the wind or maybe it’s you and you don’t realise” Tapping your fingers on the barrier that held you in place, he turned to you and gave you a bitter look which only made the situation more awkward and tense.

“How’d i get dragged onto the ferris wheel anyway” He huffs.

“Because, Steve and Nat are your best friends and also Nat is really scary and saying yes was easier than saying no” You looked down at the two as you spoke, their flirting ever so obvious even from your height.

A few minutes passed where nobody said anything, you both avoided eye contact and it gave you time to reflect on what you could’ve done to make Bucky so impassive to you, you’d barely talked to him because if you tried he disregarded you or made an excuse to leave as soon as possible. You really wanted to be his friend too. It’s awkward when the four of you go out and Steve and Nat obviously want to do things together as a couple making you stuck with Bucky and him with you. At least being civil is all you want, for Bucky to be able to hold a conversation with you longer than a few seconds.

“Are you cold?” His voice broke you from your thoughts, you were shivering and you hadn’t realised as you were so deep in your head. You looked at the goosebumps on your arms and turned to him,

“I guess I am, yeah.” you laughed at your ignorance for not noticing your body temperature drop. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Bucky starting to take his jumper off.

“What are you doing?” You furrowed your brows at his action, there’s no way he was about to give that to you, he doesn’t even like you, you don’t think so anyway based on every interaction you’ve had with him ever.

“I’m giving you my sweater?” Now he was confused, it was quite obvious to him what he was doing, why else would he take off the jumper and sacrifice himself so you could be warm? He’s a gentleman first if anything. He got it over is head and handed it you, you took a second to take it as you were flabbergasted at his sudden kindness towards you.

“Oh.” You broke your gaze from him down to the jumper “Thank you,” you smiled gratefully and put the jumper on. The sleeves swallowed your hands, which helped because they were freezing before. Then you looked back at Bucky who now sat next to you in nothing but a black t-shirt “Are you not cold?” Once again furrowing your brows in his direction.

“Not as cold as you” He was looking straight ahead at the city view from your spot at the top of the ferris wheel. Reading his expression was impossible and you were really trying to—

“Okay well uh— thanks again.” You repeated your thanks as you snuggled into the jumper that now enveloped you, “So.. kinda awkward, huh?” You tried cracking a joke laughing a little as you did so which made Bucky turn to face you, analysing his features which you didn’t notice softened as he saw you smiling.

Bucky coughed awkwardly “Uh-“ He let out a small laugh too “Looks like Steve and Nat aren’t bothered by this disruption at all” His tone was lighter.

“Those two wouldn’t notice the world ending while they’re gazing at each other like that” You laughed again, Bucky liked that sound.

“So in love, it’s sickening” He retorted with a shake of his head and a smile which earned a glance from you, just a brief one before you looked back down at your sweater paws as they rested on the barrier, Bucky has noticed and he found it endearing, he felt warm whenever he saw you smile or heard you laugh and every time your thigh accidentally touched his due to your close proximity he swears a bolt of electricity travelled through him making his heart beat faster.

“I think it’s cute” You had a small pout on your face as you spoke, still looking down towards your two friends “imagine being stuck on a ferris wheel with someone you love, not the worst thing in the world in my opinion, it’s kind of like an impromptu date where you have no choice but to talk because the other option is incredibly awkward silence” You fiddled with the sleeves of the jumper.

“I guess, but what if you were trapped on a ferris wheel with someone you liked who you knew didn’t feel the same, that’s awkward all on its own” He was playing with a thread on his jeans as he spoke, you noticed.

“How would they know if the other person didn’t feel the same? Had they asked?” You inquired as the tension between you grew once again because the situation was too close to home.

“Isn’t asking embarrassing though?” Bucky asked breathily, like he was nervous.

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t?” He looked at you.

“I mean the worst that can happen is they say no and you’re sad for a bit but you’d move on eventually” You smiled but you weren’t looking at him.

“Right, yeah” He coughed awkwardly again and the silence resumed until he broke it about a minute later “Uhm” clearing his throat again Bucky decided it was now or never “Are you doing anything Friday night?” He closed his eyes for a brief second because there was no going back now.

“No, why?” You looked at him and smiled, maybe he’d finally be your friend, that was progress and you could work with that.

“Would you uh- like to get dinner with me? Like a date..?” He avoided your gaze as he asked.

“What” It caught you off guard and you responded without thinking.

“Fuck” He swore to himself “sorry forget I said anything, I don’t know what was going through my-“ He began to ramble.

“Bucky no I mean, I thought you didn’t like me” His head turned to face you as he thought about your words.

“What? No I do like you” He furrowed his brows thinking back on the interactions you’d had where he hadn’t realised he’d been so nervous it came off as rude. “Shit i’m sorry, i’ve been an ass to you now that I think about it, I wasn’t trying to though, I thought I was uh- I thought i was disguising my attraction to you well because i didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I guess it came off dickish” He internally slapped himself at his mistake

“Oh, OH” The realisation and his admission hit you “Awe, Bucky,” you laughed at how silly it all was, if you’d have just talked to each other sooner this could’ve been avoided “Bucky I would love to go to dinner with you” You smiled at the man.

The ferris wheel suddenly began again and you were on your way down, both smiling like idiots and laughing whenever you’d glance at each other, two idiots that had liked each other this whole time who didn’t know it. You both stepped off the car and down the stairs smiling and giggling still and approached Natasha and Steve,

“What the hell happened up there?” Natasha laughed because she had never seen the two of you so cosy before, Steve raised a brow but you two only burst out laughing again and started walking ahead of them and snickering as they both stared in confusion and disbelief.

#avengers #writerblr #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x female reader

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lavender-000 · 2 months

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REMUS LUPIN COMMENTATING ON GYRIFFINDOR VS SLYTHERIN GAMES (some time in 6th year)

Remus: Welcome to the quiddich games i'm Remus Lupin and I'm forced to be here I hope you fuckers enjoy my pain

McGonagall: Remus Lupin!

Remus: *ahem* sorry miss but we're off the two terms are flying up to... hit things? Honestly im best friends with the Gyriffindor captain and fucking the beater no clue what's- OUCH MISS IM SORRY but that was uncalled for simply stating fac- OUCH-

ANYWAY our captain Potter is about to score- and missed, call me delusional but I'm pretty sure he was staring at baby Black, really Potter? Let's all thank your captain as Slytherin now have the ball thing- quaffle? Aaaannnd they score well done James WELL DONE.

McGonagall: let's move on from James please, 10 points to Slytherin.

Remus: Of course and the game begins again OH Marlene is going for the other more aggressive ball thing-

McGonagall: bludger

Remus: yes that, and she hits it! Go her that was good it went straight for the Slytherin team and OH MY GOD MCKINNON YOU DIDNT JUST WINK AT MEADOWES but that was smooth, I'm sure she was impressed... I'm being glared at LETS MOVE ON OH WOW James? Did you just SCORE I'm suprised you didn't get distracted aga-

McGonagall: REMUS LUPIN!

Remus: Aanndd 10 points go to Gyriffindor Barty is definitely not happy with that i don't know what you do but go hit those angry balls! Make a show for your boyfriend!

Now the games start again Gyriffindor is ahead wow if only Regulus Black stopped staring at someone's THIGHS WE'D BE DONE

YOURE. NOT. SUBTLE. BABY. BLACK.

Remus: ...ladies and gentlemen Miss McGonagall just laughed she can also see the pin-

McGonagall: Remus Lupin please leave

Remus: Of course miss can I just...?

McGonagall: ...just make it quick

Remus: Sirius you look so hot right now I'm gonna f-

McGonagall: SAY ANOTHER WORD AND YOURE NEVER LEAVING DETENTION

Remus: f-all in love with you even more...

McGonagall: ...

Remus: ...shit did Sirius just fall off his broom?

McGonagall: thank Merlin, Regulus caught the snitch GAME IS OVER SLYTHERIN WIN, REMUS DETENTION LEAVE NOW!

The chaos if Remus was a quiddich commentator

(I love it)

#regulus black #james potter #jegulus #marauders #fic ideas #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #quidditch #everyone is gay #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #dorlene #barty crouch jr #dead gay wizards #james x regulus #70s gay wizards #Lupin

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orangeocelotmartyn · 11 months

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Ren: Um, in South Africa, pants are underpants, mmkay? So if I say to you, um—lets get, lets get the camera going here—if I say, uh, "Ladies, gentlemen, and everybody in-between, uh, I've got no pants on right now." Then-then you know we're cooking with gas, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Uh, sorry, it's (laughs)—it's actually the other way around. In England—I messed this anecdote up completely—(laughs). Oh, it's late, guys, we're going to have to go to bed soon. My apologies. In England, pants, um, are underpants, mmkay? In South Africa, pants are jeans. (sighs) Lets go to the big camera and try this again. Okay?

So, if I'm in South Africa, and I say, "ladies and gentlemen and everybody in-between, I-I got no pants on," you're just gonna look at me weird, cause—and I'll be standing there in my underpants, awkward.

But if I'm in England! And I say, "ladies and gentlemen, everybody in-between, I got no pants on—"

(in singsong) It's business, it's business time~ if you know what I'm sayin.

#rendog #hermitcraft #video

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raisondetriment · 11 months

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The fact that this is one of the room options.

Link really is the kind of guy to spend loads of Rupees and like 50 trees worth of lumber he chopped down himself on a house, then as soon as possible he gets his girlfriend to move in with him, and she kinda takes over the place with redecorating AND she has her own little private sanctum in the damp well out back because she needs her privacy I guess. Stuff happens, Link gets the opportunity to get a second house, he pours loads of Rupees into THAT (and in the messed up post-Upheaval economy too)... and then this is a room option.

You know he's never gonna use it. It feels totally out of place among all the other choices. And Hudson's is a custom home builder, that lets you design rooms, layout, the whole thing. They're at least suggesting stuff he's asking about.

That's what I'm saying: he asked for it. This absolute diamond of a man buying a second home that you'd think would be 100% Just For Him this time asks "can I get a quiet private study room? So that when she moves back in, she doesn't have to go in a dark damp well any more?"

This is our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Triforce of Courage? More like Triforce of Complete Selflessness.

#i had to drag zelda a bit here but i promise i adore her #she doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful #the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk #zelink

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fangirlika · 11 months

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Pasta and Phone Calls

MASTERLIST

pairing: Lando Norris x female!reader

summary: after your date with Lando he calls you to tell you all about the cute girl he just went on a date with.

warnings: FLUFF, typos probably

a/n: this came to my mind after I saw a TikTok about something similar but I didn’t save it and now I can’t find it :/ hope you like it!

“Text me when you get home”, Lando whispered against your lips with a smirk plastered on his face.

It was a chilly Tuesday evening in September and your boyfriend Lando was in London this week before he would fly to Singapore for the next race. You haven’t been dating for a long time, only a few months and you couldn’t deny that his schedule made it really hard for you two to spend time together.

Nevertheless, Lando has been proving that he will do everything in his power to make time for you between racing and his projects with Quadrant. And for the time where he was away, he tried to make it better with phone calls and little gifts he left for you in your apartment.

All in all, you were happy. Incredibly so. And for tonight Lando had asked you out to a local Italian restaurant you two had been to for one of your first dates. It wasn’t anything special in itself but it holds a lot of nostalgia and the pasta there is really enjoyable.

You really appreciated the time you spent with him tonight lost in conversation about nothing at all but eventually the waiter came to your table and informed you that the restaurant would soon close.

That led you back into Lando's car and he drove you back to your apartment. All the gentlemen he wants to be for you, he got out of the car first to open the door for you.

“My lady”, he gestured for you to step out of the car, eliciting a smile and a slight shake of your head from you.

You grabbed your purse from the passenger seat and turned to Lando who swiftly closed the door of the car before leaning in to you. “Text me when you get home”, Lando whispered against your lips with a smirk plastered on his face before he pecked your lips.

You only let out a light chuckle before saying: “We’re literally standing right in front of my entrance door, Lando.” His smirk didn’t falter at that and instead he simply shrugged his shoulders. “I know but I’ve heard that girls like it when guys tell them that.”

“You’re a menace, Norris”, you simply responded before pecking his lips once more and turning to make your way over to your entrance door.

“Goodnight, Y/n”, he said and you said your goodbye and gave him a shy wave of your hand before looking for your keys in your purse.

When you entered your apartment and turned the lights in the hallway on you immediately pulled your phone out to text Lando.

got into my apartment safely, goodnight xx

It only took a couple of minutes until you saw the screen of your phone light up and Lando's contact appeared on the screen.

You furrowed your brows slightly at that. Was he already home? Did something happen on the way back?

You quickly accepted the call. “Lando?”

“Hey y/n”, he answered and due to the lack of engine or traffic noise in the background you assumed that he was already home or at least not in the middle of the road driving. “You’re never gonna believe this”.

You frowned at that but he was entirely calm so you didn’t think anything really bad had happened to him. With your phone on speaker you sat down on your couch and pulled the blanket over your legs for comfort.

“So I went out with this cute girl, right?”

You knew he couldn’t see it but you raised your eyebrows at that. “This cute girl?”, you repeated, your confusion visible in your voice.

Lando hummed in agreement. “Yeah, we went out for dinner together, this small Italian place near Hyde Park. It’s really nothing special but the last time we went there she really liked the spaghetti they served”, he told you.

Small Italian place? Your small Italian place? He isn’t seriously telling you about another girl he took out for a date there, is he?

“Even though she is terrible at eating spaghetti without getting sauce everywhere”, he added and lightly laughed while explaining. “You would think that when even I am capable to use a fork for eating spaghetti it couldn’t be that hard but apparently it is.”

Now it began to make sense to you. You loved pasta with all your being but when it comes to twirling spaghetti around your fork without it falling off the moment you want to put it in your mouth, you were a hopeless case - much to Lando's amusement.

“I beg to differ, it really is some sort of witchcraft and I don’t understand why it is apparently culturally unacceptable to just cut it instead”, you hugged out and Lando only laughed at that.

“That’s exactly what she said as well, but anyways, I thought it was actually quite cute”, he confessed.

“You did?”, you asked shyly.

“I did”, he repeated. “I think she’s very cute in general, see she has this habit of falling into a minute- long ramble about everything and nothing at the same time but no matter how many confusing stories she starts telling you at the same time, you can’t keep yourself from listening to every word she says.”

If your cheeks weren’t turning red before they sure as hell were turning cherry red now.

“I love her voice, I’m glad I get to hear it almost every day”, he says. “It’s what I’m looking forward to after a long day of racing or meetings actually.”

“I bet she likes talking to you just as much as you do”, you whispered.

“I hope she does”, he hummed and you heard a car door open in the background. He was probably still sat in the car when he called you and only now got out. “She’s also very pretty.”

Now you were simply smiling like an idiot on your couch. Lando has complimented you numerous times but he never straight out told you you were pretty.

“You think?”

“Mhm, very much so. I just think she doesn’t really realize it”, he added the last part quietly but you picked it up nonetheless. “I would love to go out with her again”, he then said and your eyes opened wide in surprise. The entire situation was so absurd but it was Lando, it was typically him in every sense.

“Then maybe you should ask her out again.”

He smiled at that, you were sure. “Yeah, I think I will.”

—————

ahhhh okay i again wrote this in one go and I kinda hate it kinda love it? Idk I hope you like it. First time writing for Lando, think I’ll stick to Charles mostly but I thought this was more fitting for Lando idk why tbh.

Also, I am soo uncreative when it comes to titles for my writing??? I apologize ugh

Anyways, I hope you have a great day and please give me feedback <3

#f1 #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #lando norris #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff

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writingwhileblvck · 7 months

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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if I know one thing, it's that if you were a religion then Mr. Eijiro Kirishima would be a faithful believer. Do hear me? You are a drug to this man, he quite literally craves you. God he just loves everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, your body, your pussy. He's hooked.

When he gets home after a long day of patrol, or doing paperwork, he bee lines right for you. And it doesn't matter what your doing at the time, he's throwing over his broad shoulder and taking you to your shared bedroom (or the couch, whichever is closest honestly) and burying himself in between those juicy thighs.

This man eats your pussy like a man starved. Licking, slurping, sucking on your poor little clit that's just so swollen after he's made you cum over, and over at this point. In this state, Kirishima is so deep in your sweet cunt he doesn't even pay you any mind as you practically shove his head away.

You were unsuccessful obviously thanks to the death grip he has on your thighs. He'd have them pinned to your chest putting your glistening cunt on full display for him. And the orgasm that will rip through you will be so intense all you can do is scream his name as you squirt all over his chest.

And as you lay there shaking, and overstimulated. Kirishima will emerge from your thighs drenched in your juices, his muscular chest rising and falling with excitement. He'll look down at your tear stained face and smirk. And then, slowly, he'll lean over you, look you in your eye and say

"I'm gonna fuck dumb sweetness. Make these pretty thighs shake for me. you'd like that, huh sweetness?"

Let's just say you had to call in sick the following day.

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martuzzio · 4 months

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HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

#Hermitcraft #hermit catchphrases #hermitcraft catchphrases #hermit quotes #hermitcraft quotes #This post is going to update many many times so reblogs might not always be up to date #if you have a suggestion to add please let me know!

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youkissedareaderinthedark · 5 months

Text

The Scare

Synopsis: A terrifying crash puts Y/n in an even more terrifying situation, and it affects everyone, in the end.

young female driver x 2023 F1 Grid

A/N: for this one, valtteri is retired and reader has taken his seat at alfa romeo

also, @badassturtle13 you requested a fic like this a month or two ago while i was in my writers block-era, but if you remember your ask and would still like to read it, here it is

You knew the risk. All twenty of you did. That’s how yet got into these cars every weekend. But that doesn’t make it any easier when you actually face the risks.

You weren’t the biggest fan of the Las Vegas Grand Prix from the start. You knew the planning for it was rough, and that there were a lot of elements of the weekend that everybody was unsure of.

You weren’t exactly surprised when the reasoning behind the storm drain incident was released after Free Practice 1, or when race directors revealed they didn’t even look at the predicted weather for this weekend.

But there wasn’t much you could do about either, about any of it really, so you put your head down and focused on your car.

You joined Alfa Romeo as the third rookie of the 2023 season, and although you and Zhou weren’t getting wins and podiums each weekend, you finished in the points nearly every race, and helped bring your team up to 8th in the Constructors Championship.

As of the second to last race, you were having a good first season; you and Zhou got along great, your team trusted you, and you liked getting to know and hanging out with the rest of the grid. Specifically, your closest friends Logan and Oscar, who you were walking with in the paddock before Sunday’s race.

“Is it bad that I’m not excited for the race?” Oscar asks from the middle of you three, as you walk down the grid.

“I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t want to start P17 either” You admit.

“You’re gonna be fine Oscar, you’ve made your way up the field before, you’ll do it again” Logan shrugs, assuring him.

Oscar nods as you speak up with the beginning of a smirk on your face. “When you make it up the field and into the points, along with me and Logan, what are we doing to celebrate?”

“No. No, we have-” Oscar’s already shaking his head as Logan laughs. “I know some of the grid is going to a club a few blocks away, you guys wanna go?”

“Yes,” You rush to say after you see Oscar start to protest. “we’ll go. No objections”

“We have flights tomorrow-” You interrupt the Australian. “I don’t care, we should all go. And I have to leave now so you can’t say no” You point out as you near the Alfa Romeo garage. Oscar rolls his eyes playfully as Logan continues to laugh.

“Good luck Y/n, see you after the race” Logan says, still chuckling as Oscar waves and continues down the paddock with the American by his side.

You greet Zhou as you walk towards your drivers room to meet with your trainer. The last 20 minutes you have before you’re needed on the track is spent doing reflex tests and speaking with the strategists one last time.

You leave the garage to stand for the national anthem after a brief Grid Walk interview with Martin, and quickly return for the formation lap.

“Alright Y/n,” Your team principle, Alessandro, comes over your radio as you’re pulling out into the pit lane. “do your best to maintain P7 or higher, just be aware of the tires. Stay safe, good luck”

“Thanks, will do. See you at the finish line” You reply before flipping down your visor and accelerating onto the track.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a cold night here in Las Vegas, but the city is awake and ready to watch the last U.S race of the 2023 season. Our drivers are approaching the starting line, the five lights are coming on, and it’s light’s out and away we go!”

You manage to pull away from Magnussen behind you and advance closer to Logan in front of you as you near Turn 1. You get through the first and second lap fine, until your race engineers Alex, informs you that Lando’s crashed during Lap 3, and the 19 drivers remaining are being led by the safety car until Lap 7.

You think your race will be uneventful past that point until you notice the reluctance in the car’s breaking during Lap 19. “There’s something wrong with my brakes, it’s getting hard to slow down” You radio concerned, back to your team.

“Stand by Y/n, we’re checking” Alex tells you as you approach Turn 1 on the next lap. After a few moments without an update, you radio again.

“Anything? It’s getting bad, I can’t slow down” Your voice shows your clear concern. It’s clear to everyone that you’re getting more and more distressed each minute.

“One moment, Y/n, we’re trying” The engineer becomes audible again, and you get that everyone in the garage is trying, but right now it’s not enough.

You’re going at 150 miles an hour down the straight after Turn 4, and you could practically hear your heart beating nervously as you approach Turn 6.

You press on the brake pedal. Nothing. You try to release your hold on the accelerator pedal and clutch on your steering wheel. Nothing.

You go through the options in your head;

Turn and crash purposefully now to slow your car down? There are drivers less than a second behind you, the straight isn’t that wide, they could get hurt.

Turn and hit the curb as you pass the corner to slow down? There are drivers less than a second behind you, the corner isn’t that wide, they could get hurt. You could get hurt

Your adrenaline is pumping, thoughts are flying through your head at a million miles per second, and you don’t know what to do.

You’re going 150 miles an hour down a straight, but now the corner is coming closer.

“I can’t fucking stop! Alex!” You’re pressing the radio button frantically, hoping someone, anyone responds.

Nothing.

It all goes by in a flash.

Turn 6 comes at you faster than you imagined. Your Alfa Romeo crashes front-wing first into the barriers, the momentum of a 150 mile-per-hour car so strong, not even your harness can stop your body from colliding into your steering wheel.

Everything goes white for a moment, all you could hear is a deafening ringing in your ears, and then the only thing you could feel is pain.

The hurt in your chest is intolerable. You think you’re screaming. There’s smoke or clouds of dust or something else you can’t begin to decipher in the air surrounding you. You could feel the vibrations of the track from the passing cars below you, but you don’t bother to move your head up from where it rests on top of your wheel.

If the ringing wasn’t so loud, you might’ve been able to hear three of your ribs on the right side of your chest break when you first made impact with the wheel. If the pain wasn’t so unbearable, you might’ve been able to notice how because three of your ribs on the right side of your chest are broken, your lungs can barely produce oxygen for you to breathe.

It’s only when you try to gasp for air against the tears running down your face do you notice. The second you try, it sends streaks of pain overflowing throughout your body. Then you realize. You can’t breathe.

You want to stay calm, you really do, but you’re crying so much you could feel them soaking your balaclava, you’re scared to the point that your hands are shaking uncontrollably, there’s still so much adrenaline in you, and you can’t breathe.

You try to radio your team to tell them to send medics or just do something to help, but when you open your mouth to speak, the same thing happens as when you tried to radio for help earlier.

Nothing.

You’re stuck in your crashed car, without a voice, without a breath, and you think this is it.

It feels like hours, but really, it’s only been about a minute since you’ve crashed. Every grand stand is silent, and Martin Brundle and David Croft are speechless. Alex is trying to communicate with you while the other engineers attempt to figure out the the state of your car. Drivers are being led by the safety car under a red flag, anxiously talking to their own engineers to find out if you’re okay. And finally, the safety marshals and medical staff have made their way onto the track and to your car.

The marshals repeatedly shout to you for a sign of responsiveness while the medics move to pull you out of the car. Everyone else is either running in and out of the ambulance that’s just arrived, or helping place a curtain around you for privacy.

The medics transfer you onto a gurney on the ground while the lead medic assess you. She’s pulled off your helmet and balaclava and is left staring at your pale face, alarmed eyes, and gasping mouth.

A few touches to your pulse and lungs confirm her suspicion, and the woman quickly asserts her team. “She has flail chest, she needs an oxygen machine and an IV for pain meds. Her ribs are broken on the right side of her lungs, she’s been barely breathing”

The materials asked for are provided in seconds, and within a few moments, an oxygen mask is placed around your face, and the skin in your left forearm is being pierced with a needle.

For the first time since you started Lap 19, you’ve found both your voice and your breath, the pain striking through your body isn’t as severe anymore, and your nerves have calmed down.

The lead medic hovering over you notices your less-tense state, and lets out her own breath. “You okay kid?” With an oxygen mask, 3 broken ribs, and an IV in your arm, you nod with small smile of relief on your face.

The medics let you stay laying down on the gurney, and transfer you into the waiting ambulance to get you to the nearest hospital. The safety marshals update the Alfa Romeo garage on your state of health, and your damaged car gets moved off the track. Once informed themselves of the situation, Crofty and Martin advise the anxious and waiting fans of your condition and when the race will resume.

The 18 drivers that were restlessly sat in their garages are now visibly relieved and preparing for the race start. The engineers on your side of the garage are pouring over the data from Lap 19 to figure out where it all went wrong, while your trainer leaves to go meet you at the hospital.

While you’re in the hospital, you get hooked up to a new IV and get assessed by a nurse before a doctor comes in to take your X-rays. The results show your 3 broken ribs and the few bruises on your lungs that are set to heal within a week or two.

You’re put on a ventilator to help your breathing after the doctor tells you that you had to stay in the hospital for at least 3 days, and you’d miss the last race of the season as a precaution.

You also undergo surgery hours later to stabilize the broken ribs, and ensure you’re not internally bleeding. Because of all the anesthesia and pain medicine, your either asleep or painless for your first night in the hospital.

The next day is when you’re brought into the real world again, and your trainer tells you everything you missed. He tells you Lando, who you learn was in the room a few doors down when you came in, visited you after your surgery and wished you to get better soon. He tells you about the rest of the race and everything the rest of the drivers have said about you and your crash.

You talk to your team eventually and convince them to let you travel to Abu Dhabi on Saturday to at least watch the race from the garage. You talk to your parents and friends to inform them that your lungs are healing accordingly, that you’re off the ventilator, and have been breathing fine by Thursday.

You’re discharged from the hospital Friday night, and only stop at your hotel to collect your things before catching a flight to Abu Dhabi. You told Logan and Oscar you’d be arriving Sunday morning, which explains why they’re so surprised when you show up in the paddock after Qualifying Saturday night.

“It’s not the best place to start from but-” Logan spots you first, in the middle of a conversation with Oscar. “Oh my god” Is all he mutters before running up to bring you into a hug. You’re smiling, almost laughing at his reaction, until you hear what the American says.

“Don’t do that again. I thought you-” You notice his voice break, and you’re once again aware of what everyone else was feeling while you were breathless inside your car almost a week ago.

“I won’t Logan, I’m okay now” You assure him as best you can before Oscar comes over to both of you. Logan lets go momentarily while the McLaren driver hugs you.

“We were all really scared, y’know. We didn’t know,” He pauses, his voice catches before he’s speaking into your shoulder again. “we didn’t know if you were okay”

“I know Oscar, I’m here though, I’m okay” You know you can’t say much in sympathy to either of the drivers right now, you’ll never exactly know the anxiety and worry they felt on Sunday, but you do tell them about your time in the hospital and how you’re expected to make a full recovery in time for next season.

“I wish you were driving today though, you should be in your car for the last race” Oscar says as the three of you walk through the paddock together.

“I know, I want to drive too, but at the same time, I’m kind of glad I’m not driving until next season. I want to let my lungs rest and everything before I get in my car again” You say with a shrug.

You were being truthful; you weren’t afraid of crashing again, you actually couldn’t wait to drive your Alfa Romeo, but you heard all the possible long term affects of rib and lung damage, and you’d rather miss out on one race than your entire F1 career.

“I’m just glad you’re okay” Logan admits as Oscar nods.

“Yeah, me too”

a short, somewhat emotional f1 fic. 1 down, 3 to go

#reader insert #formula 1 #driver reader #f1 grid x reader #formula 1 driver imagines #platonic f1 grid #f1 2023 grid x y/n #f1 imagine #female driver reader #angst #angst with a happy ending #oscar piastri x reader #logan sargeant x reader #platonic oscar piastri #platonic logan sargeant

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catfern · 6 months

Text

1 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS SPECIAL

pairing: ghost hunter!ellie x afab!reader (feminine pronouns used)

music: eyes without a face - billy idol

word count: 2.3k

summary: ghost hunter!ellie needs a new assistant to help film her 1 million subscribers special in a supposedly 'haunted house'. good thing you'll do anything she says.

warnings: SEXTAPE, oral (r!receiving) fingering (r!receiving), ghosts? spooky business, ellie is a shitty clickbait youtuber

an: heyyy this came to me in a dream. nothing much else to say. get ready to fuck dirty while ghosts watch idk. this is probably gonna be my only halloween fic while we're still in october. got some other ideas tho so get ready for a spooky november

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“come on! come on! it’ll be fun! something memorable on halloween.”

“jesus, ellie, you know I don’t believe in that shit.”

it’s a coy laugh. your fingers dance over your phone, unsure what to do. you didn’t believe her when she jumped and screamed, bolstering about her 1 millionth subscriber.

‘The Ghost Detective.’ her youtube profile was almost as shoddy as her Mr. Beast-esque clickbait video titles.

“then it doesn’t matter!” she had a hold on your forearm, intermittent squeezing begging you to fold, “please? the last girl I had thought her dead mom was talking to her and ran off.”

she had an almost pitiful look in her eyes, her eyebrows screwed together as she pleaded.

fucking hell. you were convinced if you hadn’t met ellie, hadn’t started falling behind her like an obedient dog, you’d actually submit most of your assignments on time.

“fine.”

it wasn’t that your tiny town was particularly superstitious, or religious, or any other ‘-itious’, but it was in unspoken agreement that there was something inexplicable here, on the hill that looked over the lights of the suburbs. a decaying prairie protrusion built god-knows-when, the moon shone high in its fullness through the rotting foundations, casting its shadows over the dead grass, falling at your feet with the cool of the wind.

the whisper in her voice ran up your spine, “gettin’ scared yet?”

ellie seemed all too giddy to be here, a wicked smile and a laugh in her throat. her hair was pulled back from her face, and you could lightly see the ghost of freckles across her cheek in the night.

“what? no, no. i’m just tired.”

“right,” she was poking fun, the words dripping from her lips like electricity. she dumped her arms-full of equipment in your arms with a huff, before digging around in her backpack. “here,” cold metal in your hand as she took back her stuff. redbull, “we’re gonna be here all night.”

you don’t know how she did it. even as a certified non-believer, the engulfing emptiness of the house, the darkness that settled in the cracks and corners caught up with you, something unsettling pricking the hairs on the back of your neck.

but here she was. she brought a lawn chair from home, said it was her dad’s. equipped with the built-in beer holder and everything, she was relaxed. her elbows settled on her knees, her hands fallen limp in the space between her legs. she had something in her eyes, a glint. something determined, charming as she stared you down. well, the camera.

but you were staring at her right back. memorising what little detail echoed through the lens of the shitty 2008 sony camcorder.

she said it was for the ‘found footage look’. you know it’s just because she’s broke.

“now, legend has it, ladies and gentlemen, that the last owners of this iconic hillside property were satan .. worshippers. and that this house, this very house that i’m sitting in right now, is actually an active portal. to. hell.”

you’ve gotta give it to her. she had a talent for drama.

“i’ll just point to you when i need you to do like, i dunno, a little camera pan or something, yeah?”

ellie was explaining it to you like you hadn’t just been at home binge-watching her channel for the past few days, meticulous research, you called it. to make sure you did a good job as her assistant. not like the blur of her messy hair and her face in the ghoulish green light of the night vision camera did anything to you.

you knew her video structure. front room first, then five minutes in a spooky hallway, then some time left to freak out in one of the bedrooms, find an old haunted toy that definitely wasn’t planted, and then a quick exit with a lot of swearing, screaming and camera shaking.

“right, you ready?”

you nod.

the front room was, unsurprisingly, boring, although ellie put on her best shiver-me-timbers face, as she calls it. something for the fans.

but when you got back into the hallway, something in the air had changed. you looked to ellie, and you couldn’t tell if what she felt was real, or fake. she just kept looking at you through the camera, the same dramatised ‘concern’ written all over her face.

everything ellie does is scripted. fake.

if there was something wrong, truly wrong, here, you would leave, right?

the feeling was violently oppressive, pushing down on you. run, run, run. a gush of something ran across the back of your neck.

“fuck! what was that? did you feel that?”

“hey, hey,” the sudden normalness of her voice felt misplaced, “just keep the camera on me, okay? eyes on me.”

you could barely see her fucking eyes. the imposing and suffocating darkness of the house seemed to wrap around you horribly tight, the only thing keeping you tethered to your sense of sanity was the sound of ellie’s breath, so close you could feel it wisp around your cheekbone, warm and inviting. the only comfort fighting the cold in the air.

slowly, your sight adjusts to the dark, and you could barely make out the outline of her face in the dim light of the moon. she was watching you, her eyes lidded, flickering over the shadow of your body. your own breath was quick, adrenaline laced, something sore and deep. you feel a slight graze against your arm and you jump, ellie catching your shoulders in her arms, pushing you upright,

“careful, it’s just me,”

there’s a closeness now, a beat. her grip is strong as it soothes the shaking, the fear, the absolute buzz that you’re convinced is the only thing keeping you alive. you quickly become obsessed with the design of her, you’ve never been this close. suddenly, you recognise the way her hair falls on her face, the look in her eyes, the shine as she looks at you. she clears her throat, and her hands drop, coarsely, from your shoulders,

“come on, you’re alright. let’s keep going.”

yeah, yeah. you fumble your hand back through the strap of the camera, a slight twitch in your hand as you press record,

“fucking hell,” her voice was raspy, deep, a soft but commanding whisper, “the spirits sure are stirred up here… i wonder what happened.”

stay close to me. it’s barely a breath, something not meant to be heard, but her voice is luring, and you nod.

your footsteps were a heavy echo against the aging wood floor, the creaks spreading through the house like a warning. to you, or to others, you don’t know.

the bedroom wasn’t far. you had to hike up a flight of decaying steps, but as ellie talked to the camera, she held a hand firm on your back. she wouldn’t let you fall.

the room obviously belonged to some kids, however long ago. abandoned toys and rotted posters littered the floor, and it almost felt painful to see the life that was once in this house. but why did they leave everything here? kids drawings, toys, a closet full of half-eaten, moth-ridden clothes.

what made them just get up and leave?

wind rattled against the window, it felt like it was rocking the house. something was uneasy here, unnerving. you tried to focus your thoughts on ellie, her dramatic storytelling and perfectly practiced ‘scared’ body language, but there was something here. and it was watching.

one final gust of wind surged against the rocky foundations of the house, and the closet doors flung open, an old wooden puppet flying out to your feet.

you were never a screamer, never. which is why, when you heard a blood-curdling shriek rush through the house, it felt like an out of body experience. something foreign. you fell back and tripped over your own feet, desperate to put as much distance between you and whatever was in this house as possible.

luckily, ellie’s fear is fabricated. she’s quick to respond, stepping in to steady you with kind hands and a charming smile. your heart rate was so intense, it rocked the both of you, chest to back, intertwined something fierce. your breath settles against her chest, and you meet her eye,

“thought you didn’t get scared,” she was being a tease. her hands ghosting over your body gently, carefully, thinly veiled under the guise of simply holding you, caring for you, she was keeping you safe. it was a little self-indulgent.

“i’m not,” you steel yourself, stubborn girl, although a soft laugh bubbles in your throat. there’s something unreal about the steady feeling of ellie’s hands, the roughness of her palms pushing through your clothing. you turn, and she’s smiling, the glint of her teeth in the soft light, mischief an echo on her face. her voice was low as she leaned in, tickles of her hair just brushing the apple of your cheekbone,

“really, baby? i don’t think you would even still be here if it wasn’t for me.”

“you think i’m here for you?” she’s so close you can feel your breath swirl with hers, heat brushing down your jaw and dripping onto your neck. her grip on your waist anchors, and you feel her settle in the crooks of your body, the corners of your skin, like she’s home. she’s looking at you, something jokingly fierce, but unsure, and her gaze falls on your lips,

“mhm,”

you’d think she’d been starved. restless, choked breaths fall between you in gaps as she pulls you in, heavy, her lips on yours in fervour. her hands are everywhere, tracing themselves in your hair, down your neck, feeling their way blindly along the softness of your skin. god.

her lips draw from yours, dragging a mix of spit and lip gloss down your chin, along the ridge of your neck, a trail glistening in the edging darkness.

“fuck, ellie.”

you barely register the weight lifting from your hand, only a visceral whine as she pulls from you, walking a safe distance to gently place the camera down, out of the way.

ellie finds herself back in the crook of her neck, dragging your skin through her teeth, soft groans rumbling from her throat as her hands pull their way down to the waistband of your skirt,

a skirt? really?

had you planned this?

“come on, sweetheart,” she’s barely audible against your skin, vibrations dripping down your torso as her hands dive under your shirt, lifting it to bounce above your tits, “that’s it.”

her palm cups the base of your tit, dragging soft moans from your pretty lips as she squeezes.

under her breath, she’s praying. vulgar, tenacious, she can’t control herself, lost in the dream of your body as she presses you against a wall she hopes won’t collapse.

fuck-god, fuck, jesus, baby.

if you’re who she’s praying to, it falls on deaf ears. you’re no god, you can’t help her, but fuck, she feels like she could worship you. properly, forever, falling to her knees and cupping her palms behind your thighs, it’s like she’s pleading,

“can i?” she’s soft, her cheek resting on the inside of your thigh, you’re her altar, “god, say yes.”

her nose just graces the wetness of your underwear and you flinch, “yes! ellie, f-fuck-please.”

she loops her pointer fingers into the waistband of your panties, dragging them down your thighs, almost too rough. she loses herself in the heat, the slick dripping from your pussy.

heat poured over your body like molten gold, the feeling of her tongue inside you, raw, animalistic, sending pulses sliding up the ridges of your skin. she hums against your clit, her hand coming down to pull your velvet slick from the rim of her lips.

you convulse, clenching around the encroaching absence of a feeling, of something you didn’t know you needed.

her.

“fucking hell, sweet girl,” deep, ragged breaths shadow your thighs. she needs air, but its not like she wants it. fuck, she wants you, she needs you. your taste on her tongue is metallic, a memory she’s chasing like a quick withdrawal. her tongue finds your clit and presses, a murmur leaving her drowning lips and echoing through your veins as you moan, desperation clawing through your hands and in ellie’s hair, binding.

“please, el-f-shit, i need you. i need to feel you, fuck!”

you didn’t need to ask twice.

fuck, you wrapped around her like you were made for her, godsent, a gift for her devotion. she stretched you, opening you with her fingers and you nearly melted, ellie’s arm wrapped around your thigh the only stability offered for your spent body. your head threw back, digging into the old, rotting wood of the wall, and if ellie looked up, pulled away from her firm spot between your legs, she would have seen you and completely unravelled.

she wasn’t gentle, the way her fingers moved inside you. desperate and completely unforgiving, she needed everything that you were willing to give her, her pace rough, fast, world-destroying.

and there she was, a lazy grin bearing her teeth against your clit, pussydrunk and delirious, tasting you and content enough to die.

she supposed she wouldn’t mind haunting this house, if you came to visit her.

low warbles against your cunt, you couldn’t hear her, even if you were listening. drowning in the push and pull of her touch, in the warmth of her, your head felt like molasses, your body something soft, mouldable to her design. ellie laughed against your walls, sweet and desiring, and you collapsed.

your vision bleary, you could just feel the tips of ellie’s fingers brushing through your hair, smoothing your slick across your skin. your head fell against hers, and you could just make out something blinking in the foggy distance,

the camera,

“hey, el,”

she sighed, heat in the crook of your neck, “yeah?”

“does the red light mean it’s on?”

A few days later, the thoughts of ghosthunting weighing heavy on your mind, ellie texts you,

thought you might want a copy <3

my subscribers will love you

attachment: hauntedhouse.mov

taglist; @whore4abby

dm me to join my sad lil list <3

#ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x fem reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou

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gallusrostromegalus · 1 month

Note

I must ask how my Most Favorite Boys, Jushiro Ukitake and Shinji Hirako, are doing in AEIWAM?

When Shinji returns to his post as Captain of the 5th after his exile, he is DETERMINED to not repeat his past mistakes and actually get to know the shinigami serving under him. He needs... Some kind of event, something people will voluntarily attend, where they'll tell him about themselves, and with a bit of structure because he is an awkward sod, and social interactions need RULES, DAMMIT-

"Now hang on-" says Shinji after staring at the blank office wall in silence for the last thirty minutes. "-that's not a bad idea!"

"...Is he okay?" Lieutenant Momo asks quietly.

"Oh yeah, he's always a little freak. Talks to himself and gets a lot out of the conversation." Also Lieutenant Hiyori nods. "You don't need to worry until he breaks out the craft supplies."

"He just pulled out a bunch of markers and construction paper." Momo pointed to their captain as he scribbled furiously on the paperwork he was ignoring.

"Aw. Fuck." Groaned Hiyori. "Well this is gonna be cringe as hell."

***

A few nights later, most of the fifth division assembled in the auditorium, slightly confused, but they had been promised there would be no additional work from this meeting, and there was an open bar, so they were in figurative and literal high spirits.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Fifth Division, welcome to TONIGHT'S GAME!" A cheerful and showman-like voice called out over the speakers, and the stage curtain rose to reveal a brightly colored game show stage where there had not been one before.

"Tonight's lovely contestants are- all the way from payroll, it's Fifth Division Tenth Seat Tenya Danshin!" The voice called out as the familiar face of their payroll and scheduling manager trotted out onstage and took his place behind the first of three podiums. There was some scattered and genuine, if confused applause from the audience.

"He's Big, he's Bad, he's just a little Bizarre, he's Josuke Araki!" The voice continued as a notably tall and muscular member took his place behind the middle podium with a wave and broad grin. There was more clapping and a few cheers this time.

"Currently being dragged onstage by my lovely assistant, it's my second favorite Lieutenant, Hiyori Sarugaki!" The voice continued as Hiyori was wrestled onstage and behind the third podium by Momo. The audience whooped and snickered at the spectacle.

"FUCK YOU, YOU FREAK!" Hiyori roared, flipping off the audience and the figure behind the final podium on the other side of the stage.

"I'm your host, ME! I've been here the whole time!" Grinned Shinji, dressed in a rather snappy three piece suit and holding a microphone. "WELCOME, all my lovely division members and Hiyori, to Tonight's Game! Now, you all know how to play, right?"

"Um. No. Sorry sir." Muttered Tenya as Josuke shook his head.

"You didn't tell us shit!" Hiyori growled.

"That's RIGHT!" Shinji's Cheshire Cat smile shined under the spotlights.

"You see, I wanted to get to know everyone in the 5th a little better, and there is nothing quite like a game show to get people to reveal some truly startling sides of themselves, but playing the same game over and over would be boring! So, every night we play Tonight's Game, the game is a different game than last time, and the contestants will all start with blank slates!" He explained, entirely too pleased with himself. "So- the only way to win is by learning, the only way to learn is by playing, and the only way to begin is by beginning, so without further ado- Momo, will you please bring out THE LIE DETECTOR."

The small curtains at the back of the stage opened, and Momo rolled out a cart with a strange device covered in dials and switches with a long antenna and a large lightbulb on top.

"Thank you Momo! Now, the clever bastards in the 12th whipped this up for me so I have absolutely no idea how it actually works, but I am assured this is the latest cutting-edge in Veracity Technology. Let's turn it on and try it out! Tenya-!"

"Yes, sir!" Tenya snapped to attention. "No need to be formal, I'm only your host, not your captain right now." Shinji waved. "Tell me Tenya- Do you have any children?"

"I- Um, my wife and I have three children, two little boys and our infant daughter?" He stammered, confused.

DING! The Device charmed, light bulb lighting up bright green.

"That is CORRECT!" Shinji grinned. "You get a point!"

There was another chime as the screen on the front of Tenya's Podium lit up and displayed a "1".

"Oh, I see!" Laughed Tenya.

"Josuke!" called Shinji.

"Capt- Host?" Josuke stopped mid-salute.

"Very good! Tell me Josuke, do you live in the barracks?" Shinji asked with genuine interest.

"Uh, no. I live with my Mom." Josuke shook his head.

DING! Said the device.

"That is Correct!" Shinji nodded approvingly. "You get a point as well!"

"Oh, so, every time we tell the truth, we get a point?" Asked Josuke.

"Very quick on the uptake my friend!" Shinji winked. "Of course, as the game goes on, the questions are going to get much harder to answer Truthfully..."

Oooooooh! Gasped the audience, invested now.

"What happens if we lie?" Wondered Tenya.

"Even if we did- how would he fucking know?" Hiyori rolled her eyes.

"You can try it and find out!" Shinji grinned with more than a hint of Menace. "Hiyori! It's your turn!"

"Ugh. What?" She groaned.

"Tell me, When is my birthday?" Asked Shinji.

"I don't know and I don't care." She smirked, sticking her tongue out at him.

BZZRK! The Device buzzed angrily, and the light flashed red. OHH! laughed the audience.

"What the FUCK?" Yelped Hiyori.

"Ooh!" Shinji winced, thoroughly enjoying himself. "I'm afraid that is INCORRECT! According to the screen back here, you spent the better part of THREE MONTHS tracking down a specific part to repair my sound system and traveled halfway across the planet to deliver it personally to me on my birthday. So not only do you know, you DO care, and for that I'm afraid I'm going to have to dock you two points."

Hiyori's screen lit up and displayed a "-2"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Hiyori wailed. "You didn't even see me when I gave you that Banana Plug or whatever-!"

"I did not!" Shinji grinned. "-but The Device knows, and is infallible!" "That's terrifying!" Tenya laughed nervously. "Alright contestants, the questions are going to get harder now, so consider your answers to them carefully." Shinji warned, a finger up to his lips. "Contestants- does any of your underwear have holes in it?"

"...Can we refuse to answer on the grounds it might get us in trouble?" asked Josuke.

"Yes! But you won't get any points for that round, and you may not win our Lovely Prize this week. Speaking of- Momo! Will you please show our contestants what they're playing for this week?"

Momo emerged from backstage with a large, blank sign, which she turned over and held over her head for all to see.

AN EXTRA WEEK OF PAID VACATION

OHHH! exclaimed the audience, with a few audible mutters of Damn, a whole week? and How do you get on this show?.

"ALL MY UNDERWEAR HAS GOT HOLES IN IT!" Shouted Josuke, now with heavily-motivated enthusiasm. Laughter exploded out of the audience, thoroughly entertained.

DING! chimed the device, and the score on Josuke's podium went up.

"Josuke taking an early and shameless lead!" Beamed Shinji, delighted that his plan was working. "Tenya?"

"I-ah, I don't think so?" Tenya blushed. "I bathe the kids and get them ready for bed while my wife does the laundry." He tried to explain.

BZZRK! The Device contested, red light flashing and the audience howled with laughter.

"Uh-oh, that's Not Correct!" Grinned Shinji. "According to the device, a significant amount of your clothes have holes in them, and you don't notice because you get dressed in the dark. You didn't outright lie though, so you will only not get a point instead of a deduction."

"WHAT?" Yelped Hiyori, outraged.

"Yeah, that's fair." Tenya winced. "Seriously though- where does this thing get it's information from?"

"...Hiyori?" Shinji leered playfully at his lieutenant.

"Yeah, it's all got holes. They come that way- Two for my legs and one for my torso." Hiyori snarled.

DING! agreed The Device.

"That is *technically* correct, which is the BEST kind of correct! You get a point!" Shinji cheered, and so did the audience.

"FINALLY!" She shouted, but her eyes narrowed with competitive enthusiasm.

---

The game continued for an hour, with a mix of group and solo questions, but equal chances to score points awarded to all contestants. Josuke was shameless but ill-informed, causing him to fail several rounds, Tenya was honest even as his face flushed red and he crumpled behind his Podium. Hiyori did her best to be only as honest as she had to be, and as the game continued, they came to a three-way tie.

"Before we begin the final round-" Shinji said, intoning a gentle sincerity. "Contestants, you've been so honest with me. Like. Alarmingly Honest with me. So I need to be honest with you- I do know how The Lie Detector works."

There was a scandalized gasp from all three contestants and the audience.

"Okay- I *sort of* know how The Device works." Shinji admitted. "I don't know what 'Wiffy' is-"

"YOU MEAN THE FUCKING WI-FI?" Howled Hiyori.

"Oh, like you know how it works!" Shinji glared.

"It's using a radio frequency to transmit Data instead of an electrical pulses like internet usually does." She scoffed. "-AND I KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT!"

Shinji glared. "...I should deduct a point from you for insubordination."

"You can't do that, you're the Host, not the Captain!" Said Josuke cheerfully.

"Yeah, unless Host is a Military rank, it's arguing, not insubordination."

DING! Agreed The Device.

"DON'T GANG UP ON ME!" Shinji wailed. "Fine, fine. Anyway, I might not know how Why-Figh works, but I *DO* know how the device knows if you're lying or not. Would my Lovely Assistants please come to the stage?"

Momo emerged from backstage, wearing a labcoat and holding another device with an antenna that matched the Lie Detector, followed by a middle aged woman holding a Baby, an older woman, and Mashiro Kuna.

"Akkiko?" Tenya yelped, and his wife laughed manically.

"MOM??" Wailed Josuke.

"MASHIRO??" Hiyori bellowed, jumping up onto her Podium. "YOU SOLD ME OUT?!"

"FOR A BAG OF CORN CHIPS!" Mashiro cackled.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY HER?!" Hiyori howled at Shinji.

"She was gonna do it for free! I talked her UP to a bag of corn chips!" Shinji protested. "But YES! You've all been deceived! Hoodwinked!Bamboozled, even! Which brings us to our Final Question!"

The crowd roared with excitement.

"I started this game because I wanted to get to know everyone better- but I have to ask, how well do YOU know each other, and so I must ask you all if you know these people as well as they know you?"

There was a loud OOOH! of intrigue from the audience.

"Just to make it extra-exciting, all of these questions will be worth up to three points!" Shinji grinned, then slowly turned to the first Podium. "Tenya."

"Oh god." Tenya laughed nervously.

"Your lovely wife. You've been married for ten year now, so you theoretically know what she looks like, right?" Shinji teased. "So, for a potential three points and week of paid vacation- Do you know what color Akkiko's eyes are?"

Akkiko giggled, turning around as Tenya leaned as far forward on his Podium and squinted at her. With a deep sigh, he slumped over the podium in defeat.

"...I do not." He groaned and Akkiko cackled.

"That is CORRECT!" Shinji cheered.

"I'm not good with colors." Tenya tried to explain. "-this morning I actually asked her what color MY eyes are."

"YES! That's what I was waiting to hear!" Shinji shouted, pumping his fist in the air. "All three points!"

The audience cheered loudly.

Shinji turned to the next contestant. "Josuke."

"Oh no." Josuke giggled.

"What is your mother's favorite food?" Shinji asked.

Josuke stared blankly.

"SURELY you are not living in your mother's house and NOT COOKING FOR HER, are you?" Shinji asked with no small amount of menace.

"You're never going to get married if you can't cook!" Tenya nodded in agreement.

"I COOK!" Josuke protested. "...sometimes." he added, cringing.

"-So. What do you make for your beloved mother, who works so hard taking care of her adult son?" Shinji teased.

"LOTSA STUFF THAT'S WHY I DON'T KNOW!" Josuke wailed. "I COOK KATSUDON, I COOK RAMEN, I COOK CURRY, I COOK OMURICE- I EVEN LEARNED HOW TO COOK WESTERN FOODS LIKE LASAGNA AND CHILLI CHEESE DOG-! DING! Went the device, Josuke's mother holding the radio.

"Was your favorite in there Mrs. Akari?"

"Yes! I like Chili Cheese Dog." She smiled. "I always eat seconds!"

"YOU ALWAYS EAT SECONDS OF EVERYTHING I COOK I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE YOU LIKE THE MOST!" Josuke wailed.

"That is also true! He is a very good cook! And single!" She nodded up at Shinji.

"-And he's single!" Shinji grinned at the audience, some of whom whistled back. "Three points, for your culinary skills! Which means we have a Tie!"

The audience tittered with speculation and excitement.

"...Hiyori." Shinji grinned.

"You're a dead man as soon as you sign off on my vacation time." She glared.

"I mean, I can end the game right now." Shinji wagged his finger at her. "-But I can't resist the opportunity to humliate you. Now, You and Mashiro have been living under the same roof for longer than Josuke and Tenya have been alive, so to be fair to them, I'll ask you about someone you've met more recently but should still know pretty well-"

Hiyori squinted at him.

"-What is Momo's Favorite Animal?"

"What?" Hiyori laughed. "-Everyone knows it's Penguins!"

"Really?" asked Josuke. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I didn't know that either and I've served under her for decades now!" Said Tenya.

"What? How do you guys NOT know that?" Demanded Hiyori. "Her phone background is a Rockhopper Penguin, she's got a Fairy penguin squeeze toy in her desk for really long phone calls and she's always talking about wanting to go to the Tokyo aquarium in the living world to see them in person! She's even got a HUGE collection of penguin plushies in her r-" DINGDINGDINGDINGSING!! rang the Machine as Momo furiously pressed the button, face red as a beet.

"Wow!" Shinji smiled. "I'm surprised! You seem to know Miss Hinamori really well!"

"Uh, duh? We're colleagues." Hiyori rolled her eyes.

Momo sighed with relief.

"Interesting! Follow-up question- What's Mashiro's surname?" Shinji asked.

Hiyori blinked. "...uhhhhhhhh..."

"You heard Kensei yell it at least six times a day for the last century you jackass!" Laughed Mashiro.

"UHHHHH..." Hiyori paled, and the audience roared with laughter.

"Hmm... I seem to remember you pretending you didn't care about my birthday, and yet, you do- For you to remember her favorite animal and in such detail, Momo must be VERY IMPORTANT to you!"

The audience giggled Momo turned scarlet again and slowly crumpled into a ball. Mashiro vibrated with excitement beside her.

"Yeah?" Hiyori glared at Shinji. "She's the smartest person in the whole damn division and does half your job for you? If I win, I'm giving the week off to her just to watch you flail around without her! No wait- I'll set up the webcam and we can split the week off, go to the aquarium AND watch Shinji squirm like a worm an a-! Uh? Momo? You okay there?" She asked, finally noticing Momo laying on the floor, borderline catatonic with embarrassment.

"This is FASCINATNG!" Shinji grinned. "You are apparently so immune to embarrassment that you have somehow made it bounce off you and target Momo!"

"What's to be embarrassed about? I like her okay?" Hiyori blinked. "She's great! I wanna work with her forever!"

Shinji leaned forward on his elbows, chin in his hands and stared at Hiyori, positively vibrating with excitement.

"What?" She glared.

"You are. SO CLOSE. To comprehending something." He said, wide-eyed and delighted. "It's fascinating to see someone on the precipice like this."

Hiyori stared blankly at him. clueless.

"So you like Momo. We've established that." Shinji said, attempting to throw her a bone. "H- how do you think Momo feels about you?" Hiyori slowly lowered her gaze to Momo. The entire audience watched in hushed fascination as Hiyori frowned at the situation, thinking hard-

"...Momo?" Hiyori's voice was suddenly nervous. "Do you- have I just been annoying you? Becuase I can stop-"

Momo Hinamori was abruptly on her feet, crouched atop the Podium, fists balled in the front of Hiyori's shushako, pulling the blonde's face up so it was mere inches from hers. "HIYORI SARUGAKI YOU ARE THE MOST INFURIATING WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE!"

"Fuck!" Hiyori yelped. "I'm really sorry, I'll- I'll leave you alo-"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO, MISSY!" Momo continued, grabbing Hiyori's face. "YOU'RE WINNING THIS GAME, YOU'RE SPLITTING THE WEEK OFF WITH ME, YOU ARE GETTING A HOTEL IN THE LIVING WORLD AND THEN *I* AM GOING TO-'

In the videotape of the game that mysteriously appeared in the ninth division later that week, the next forty-seven seconds of sound had been obscured by a single, loud, continuous "BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" sound, but Mashiro was visibly looking up some of the terms being shouted on her phone, Josuke's mother sprinted up to cover her son's ears to no avail, Akkiko was pointing between herself and Tenya with excitement, and Shinji's jaw fell so far open it looked like it had become unhinged from his skull.

"-AND IF EITHER OF US CAN WALK IN THE MORNING, THEN WE'RE GONNA GO SEE SOME PENGUINS!" Momo finished, staring Hiyori down with a terrifying blend of romantic fury and bloodthirsty lust.

Hiyori stared up, wide-eyed and expressionless, face clearly offline as she underwent several psychological and spiritual awakenings before her she slowly broke into a slow, stupefied grin "Oh you like-like me!"

"...Yes." Momo sighed, deeply pained and affectionate at once as the audience howled. "You're okay with... all that?"

Hiyori saluted Momo with an enthusiastic "-Yes, SIR!"

"NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKIN' ABOUT!" Shinji whooped with joy, jumping up and down, the audience on their feet with applause. "POINTS AND VACATIONS ALL AROUND, AND FOR BEING THE *MOST* HONEST, THE WINNER OF TONIGHT'S GAME IS MOMO HINAMORI!"

The audience cheered wildly as Momo scooped Hiyori up like a princess and carried her backstage.

"THAT'S IT FOR TONIGHT'S GAME!" called Shinji over the din. "GOODNIGHT EVERYONE, AND GOOD FUCKING LUCK!"

---

As for Jushiro Ukitake, he appears on a special guest episode of Tonight's Game with fellow Captains Soi Fon, Byakuya Kuchiki and Retsu Unohana to play "Never Have I Ever" and *that* episode is widely considered to be one of the most scandalous and unhinged of all the games on Tonight's Game.

#AEIWAM #An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy #Bleach #Bleach Fanfic #Shinji hirako #momo hinamori #hiyori sarugaki #jushiro ukitake #(well he get mentioned at the end)#Long post #I've been watching a lot of Game Changer and I occured to me that Shinji and Sam Reich have a lot in common #for those of who don't watch Game Changer: This is a parody of the second episode

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artoodeetootired · 6 days

Text

lowkey

when two celebrities known for being a beast in their respective fields are actually the shyest in real life- especially when it comes to attraction.

op!81 x fem!singer (smau)

🃏masterlist🃏

🫧“us in a king size, keep it a secret. say i’m ur queen, but i don’t wanna leave this lowkey.” 🫧

p.s (let's pretend the qatar and las vegas gp's are rounds 10 + 12 of 24 respectively hehe)

ynuser

Tagged: bsfuser

ynuser so... been kind of busy lately...

Liked by sabrinacarpenter, bsfuser, landonorris, and 715,069 others

View all 14,088 comments

forynln U DISAPPEAR FOR 5 MONTHS AFTER UR LAST ALBUM AND POST OUTTA NOWHERE... girl u cannot keep doing this to us...

-> user1 lol watch her

-> user2 Bruh stfu she literally gave us a god sent album made of unicorn shit she doesn't owe u anything

bsfuser i hate you for telling me what's boutta go down but not let me say shit to anyone 😞

-> user3 it's ok bestie u can tell me, i won't tell anyone :)

ynluv How she is so different irl compared to her stage self still baffles me to this day.

-> user4 FR like wdym u gonna be busting out moves that get u viral then act like the sweetest creature on earth when u out here?? 😭

-> user5 duality go prr. she's probably the shyest celebrity i've ever seen.

-> user6 I can't believe she's an '03 baby.

gracieabrams omg ur orange cat

-> user6 car*

-> user7 car*

-> user8 luv u gracie

user9 orange suits yn so well

user0 lando is such a fanboy 😂

-> user| him and half the grid have been so consistent with promoting her LMAO

oscarpiastri posted a story 5m

Liked by logansargeant, landonorris, ynuser, and others

Replies

landonorris: would've been right next to u if stroll hadn't crashed again

mclaren: 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

user_: being very calm compared to ur reaction after lance's fiasco today LOL

logansargeant: LET'S GOOO

user@: wow our pastry posts after a century

alexalbon: oi why didnt you take lily's and my advice to post with yn's music if u asked us in the first place...

Twitter

Instagram

f1 Our special guest performer and new partner for the 16th round on our calendar, Las Vegas, has been confirmed; a little fun before the racing begins! We bet you guys will like this one... 🤭

Until then, round 11 in Netherlands next weekend 🇳🇱 Stay tuned!

Liked by rihanna, katyperry, ynuser, and 795,392

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user! omg i have been waiting for this

f1forlife istg if they bring out the same performers as before...

fanacc the amount of singers liking this post is really fucking with us LOL

alexalbon hi f1 pls tell me u listened to us and booked the grid's voted fav 😸

-> charlesleclerc agreed.

-> maxverstappen1 agreed.

-> landonorris @oscarpiastri and i will boycott.

-> oscarpiastri mate i didn't even vote.

-> landonorris okay fine but u do like yn/ln right? ...right? 🔪

-> oscarpiastri ...

-> landonorris dw everyone osc's just shy no need to cancel him

-> danielricciardo 💃🏽

-> lance_stroll wait there was a vote?

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser

ynuser switch up

Liked by racerbia, selenagomez, bsfuser, and 865,744 others

View all 8,932 comments

forynln she's killing us and she knows it damn well

user pls just one hint 😭

user how do u feel about oscar piastri not liking u LMAO

arianagreenblatt gorg bestie 😩

user the aesthetic change is very sus

user ladies and gentlemen, the queen of singing, dancing, and gatekeeping

-> user the way we still pine after her and her whereabouts even though she is the most nonchalant pop girl out there

-> bsfuser she's cooking smth 🧐

-> frd2 yk smth dont u 🥸

2 weeks later...

Instagram

georgerussell63 posted a story 20sec

Liked by ynuser, f1, lewishamilton, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: why did i not see toto doing this????

ynuser: it was a pleasure meeting u too 🤠

f1: You boys are very welcome

totowolff: George...

-> georgerussell: please don't fire me

landonorris: ok but did u see the way she looked at me??

-> georgerussell lando, u know full well she was looking at someone else

-> landonorris shut up :(

-> georgerussell i will not allow u to ruin her with ur playboy antics

-> landonorris EXCUSE ME

landonorris and f1 🔁

Tagged: f1, ynuser, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, georgerussell63, fernandoalo_official, maxverstappen1, and oscarpiastri

landonorris best. weekend. ever.

mini photo dump of the boys at the concert 'cause @ynuser actually performed for us 🤯🤯 we're such huge fans- it was epic meeting you!

Liked by racerbia, selenagomez, bsfuser, and 2,993,840 others

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landonorris p.s. oscar loves her, he's just shy

-> oscarpiastri lando u idiot

-> logansargeant i can confirm ahem

mclaren we advocated for this very hard, just so yk...

-> user0 the gods (you) have bestowed us simpletons (seriously) with such a blessing (yn and mclaren interactions)

-> userl for the whole grid? the fans? ...or a particular someone? 🤭

ynuser epic meeting me??? bro i almost fainted meeting u guys and drivers i've been a fan of since i was 10 😭😭😭

-> bsfuser how was it omg

-> ynuser LOL definitely an interesting experience...

-> landonorris omg she replied 😭

-> georgerussell bro she called u bro

user_ im convinced theyre music drunk and not substance drunk here 😮‍💨

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser you all already know. this thread is as aesthetically chaotic as my mind rn.

thank you to my team for handling such a mess of me when since i got this invitation !! could not be here, or look this decent without any of u.

thank you to @f1 from the bottom of my heart. i've been such a fan since i was in nappies, nd you guys just made a dream of mine come true. from the races, new friends, to performing for such a crowd in vegas, it has been one of the most surreal weekends of my life. you all just know im gonna be clutching on to this partnership for as long as i breathe. nd congrats to @maxverstappen1, @oscarpiastri, nd @charlesleclerc on the podium ! until next time 🏎💋✨

(last slide is real footage of me meeting toto wolff)

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redbullracing thank you for stopping by our pit!

-> mclaren ok but she went to ours first

-> scuderiaferrari yeah... she liked us most though. should've seen her face when she walked in.

-> mercedesamgf1 you guys know she was a long-time mercedes fan before this right??

-> landonorris what is going on? (she definitely liked hanging out with us more)

-> logansargeant lol you're so delulu (laughed way harder with my group)

oscarpiastri thank you too! we should hang out again sometime soon

-> landonorris 'hang out' pfft sure

-> user omg oscar commenting on a non-f1 person's post??? a FEMALE nonetheless????

-> oscarpiastri everyone has to chill fr

bsfuser that’s MY BESTIE

-> user she is GLOWING

-> ynimagine mommy??? sorry. mommy??? sorry.

-> user she is SNATCHED WTF

oscarpiastri

Tagged: danielricciardo, ynuser

oscarpiastri 2nd in vegas! amazing job to the team for this accomplishment, daniel for his dedication, nd yn, who we're all still star-struck by. cheers! 🍾

(credit to @pierregasly's story for second slide)

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user guys istg i was in the paddock the whole time AND i know what i saw. so when i say they hit it off really well...

user omg oscar even picked up on her 'nd' habit 😭

ynuser 🧡🧡🧡

-> user u are actually an angel sent from the depths of hell in the best possible way. the setlist??? the body and face??? the personality???

landonorris oscar you... 😨 when did u even go to the front of the stage for that last pic????

lewishamilton cute, flirty, teenage stuff and all but are we not gonna talk about danny ric

-> danielricciardo i think we should just go back to gushing about oscar's crush

-> carlossainz55 his crush??? what am i missing????

-> charlesleclerc the baby has grown up

bsfuser 🤨

Tagged: ynuser

f1 yn appreciation post 🤍🤍🤍

Could not have asked for a better performer and partner to grace us with her presence this weekend 👏🏼

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user my timeline is EXPLODING

user converting f1 fans into yn fans too

landonorris slay

-> danielricciardo slay

-> pierregasly slay

-> alexalbon slay

-> lewishamilton what is 'slay'?

-> charlesleclerc slay

-> maxverstappen1 slay

ynuser thank u thank uuu

-> user9 queen what were u on tonight??

-> {user} not even her debut was this hype 💀

ynworld STEP ON ME

f1__grid bruh this is so unecessary... she clearly just wants attention

-> user# stay pressed ur favs like her more than u <3

Twitter

3 weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 10sec

Liked by ynuser, mclaren, maxverstappen1, and others

Replies

user: soooo wonder who took this photo 🧐

user: u guys got smth to tell us? ;)

alexalbon: why do u look depressed today

landonorris: where are u bro

user: what's ur fav yn song?

ynuser: im sorry i can't make it today osc :(

-> oscarpiastri: it's okay, best to let everyone cool down anyways. i'll see u next week?

-> ynuser: i promise :)

1 week later...

ynuser posted a story 30sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, oscarpiastri, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: ayeee my fav coming over to the pit today?

-> ynuser: i wouldn't miss it for the world 😸 plus fans are dying to know how u pick ur fashion sense out

-> lewishamilton: oh lord

f1: 🤍

landonorris: pls be kind with the question this time :(

-> ynuser: aweeee

-> ynuser: no.

oscarpiastri: wya??

3 more weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 16sec

Liked by nicolepiastri, mclaren, danielricciardo and others

Replies have been disabled

ynuser posted a story 37sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, nicolepiastri, and others

Replies have been disabled

1 month, 3 races, and 2 performances later...

~3 months later...

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri i can't take it anymore. since u guys have wanted to know, anyway.

you've been on my mind since the day i met you (nd yes, admittedly since lando showed me your music videos), nd then when i met you with the biggest crush, i quickly decided that you are one of the most talented, beautiful, kindest people ever. fuck all if i just got my first win, it wouldn't have meant anything without u. i can't have asked for a better partner in crime to wear my number at the races.

although we've been pretty great at keeping it low key these past few months to just family and friends, i wanna show you off, my love x

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oscarpiastri also, ty to the grid for keeping it private, nd yes, i will be treating u all for dinner.

-> danielricciardo LFGGGGG

user oh my god.

jennaortega the question is if she beat him at karting

-> oscarpiastri she did...

carlossainz55 i never thought this day would come

landonorris cant put both my happiness and bewilderment that you actually hard launched into words

-> georgerussell character. development.

user ONE OF MY FAV SINGERS BECAME MY FAV WAG TOO AHHHHHHHH

arianagrande y'all cute asf 😭😭😭

user I CALLED IT

-> user nah dont u lie we all thought we were lying to ourselves LMAO

bsfuser one wrong move and i’ll send stroll to do more than just hit u on track 😺

-> oscarpiastri ;-;

-> maxverstappen1 u could send any one on the grid to do it, and they'd be happy to

user they're so in love im bawling

landonorris just so u guys know, his three sisters steal her away from him every week to hang out LOL

-> oscarpiastri that was totally unecessary

-> nicolepiastri give the ppl what they want ossie

Comments on this post have been limited.

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser sike.

'orange suits yn so well'... damn right for him 🧡

this man has inspired me in too many ways, that aside from teaching me how to love and be loved. it's been pretty hard having all these memories, but not being able to live them freely because of the pressure. but i wouldn't do it with anyone else. so im gonna be 'showing you off' in my latest single, agora hills, coming out tomorrow night for my love's first win x

(to clarify, f1 has allowed me to take ONE side ONCE, so im not jobless :) ... yet)

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frd1 about fucking time

oliviarodrigo this is so cute omg

alexalbon ahem i think i should get some credit for being the ultimate matchmaker here

-> f1 actually, i think it all goes to us.

-> user 💀

logansargeant THE LAST PHOTO PLS SEND IT TO ME LMAO

gracieabrams omg him with her cat 😭😭

-> user gracie, luv, it's car*

-> user car*

-> sabrinacarpenter dw babes i don't get this shit either

user oscar first win AND yn new music AND hard launches from the softest ppl ever??? has the universe finally decided to bless me???

user they were literally meant to be

user what happened to the shy versions of themselves oml

tatemcrae the hottest, most sincere, and talented celebrity couple rn

bsfuser and i was there to witness it all 😌

-> charlesleclerc so was i

-> bsfuser i was first tho

-> charlesleclerc fair enough

-> landonorris i was there the most

-> bsfuser i was their couple counsellor

-> landonorris i was their matchmaker

-> alexalbon NO YOU WERENT

-> bsfuser i was first to find out

-> landonorris no you werent

-> landonorris right? @oscarpiastri @ynuser

-> landonorris RIGHT????

Comments on this post have been limited.

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser for u, ur first win, and to many more.

as an extra for u all, 'lowkey' is also out to show my progression from wanting to keep it a secret to having him make me scream his name <3 hope u love us as much as i do.

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user the caption???????????????????

user holy shit mother is mothering and father is fathering because never have i ever heard her make a track with sm detail about her partner in it...

-> user FR like where did the two of them go?? almost 8 months but they come back like they've aged a decade

-> user NO CAUSE WTF is 'suck a little dick in the bathroom, who that man with the big strong hands'???? miss yn??? are the both of u feeling okay????

-> user you'd think introvert + introvert = coma, but ig double negatives still apply here

dojacat bitch these tracks SLAP

user okay but osc's guns 👀

sza god, when will this shi happen to me?

mclaren All ur songs on repeat in the paddock.

-> mercedesamgf1 It's true, all the teams agreed

-> redbullracing (the only time we all agree)

user how tf did we get bashful yn and blushing osc to... this??

-> ynuser life's full of mysteries.

landonorris i miss the person i was before hearing these two songs...

-> georgerussell it's true, as big of a fan i am of the two of u, some things are meant to stay between ppl...

-> charlesleclerc i am not saying anything, which means i can get invited to the wedding, yeah?

-> ynuser yes.

-> oscarpiastri yes.

Comments on this post have been limited.

a/n: as u can probably see, i lowkey gave up half way cause i never realised how much work this takes :,)

#oscar piastri #lando norris #mclaren #f1 #oscar piastri x reader #smau #oscar piastri smau

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